Smackdown – November 1, 2013: John Cena Is Awesome

Smackdown
Date: November 1, 2013
Location: Tampa Bay Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the first Smackdown after what I thought was one of the best Raws in a long time. We’re also coming off an eventful PPV which saw Cena and Orton win the titles, meaning there’s a good chance that Cena is here tonight. Tonight will probably have a lot more action rather than the mainly story driven show we got on Monday. That’s exactly how Raw and Smackdown should work if they’re going to have a single roster. Let’s get to it.

We recap Cena winning the title on Sunday.

Here’s Johnny for his first Smackdown appearance in a good while. During the entrance we look at Sandow’s cash in from Monday where he actually had me believing he would win. Cena talks about winning the title on Sunday and says that he and Smackdown are going to get real close very soon. He sucks up to the Tampa crowd and says the World Heavyweight Champion is here.

This brings out the Real Americans of all people with Colter thanking Cena for taking the world title from Alberto Del Rio. He says Cena has a lot in common with the Real Americans such as being a real American hero and supporting the troops, so Cena should join the Real Americans. Colter asks Cena to do the WE THE PEOPLE but instead Cena says you can’t see me. Cena says he sees three dumb people.

Swagger looks like Biff from Back to the Future so he should make like a tree and get out of here. Then there’s Cesaro with his giant swing but all Cena can see are his giant nipples. That leaves Colter, but Cena doesn’t have enough time to make all the jokes he needs. Colter looks like a cross between a drunk Yosemite Sam and the guys from Duck Dynasty. Cena says the Real Americans are the people in the crowd because this is the land of the free and the home of the brave, so everyone can look and sound like anything they want.

Cena tells them to get out of Tampa before violence starts, but here’s a ticked off Sandow before the Americans can respond. John gets ready to fight but Sandow calls him a hypocrite. He says you make your own way in America like he did when he stabbed his best friend in the back to win Money in the Bank. Cena has been handed everything since he got back which makes him a false champion. Sandow is still the uncrowned world champion and his purpose in life is to end the Cena era in the WWE. The heels get ready to swarm but Cody and Goldust come in to even the odds. Vickie, tag match, main event.

We get a Shield promo talking about how the Usos aren’t contenders and how they can beat any team on the planet. Roman is about to talk but Ambrose cuts him off, saying the US Champion and Rollins will prove Shield dominance tonight. The slow burn split has begun.

Shield vs. Usos

Rollins and Ambrose here. This is a result of the Usos helping make the save on Monday night. Jimmy and Dean get us going but Ambrose is quickly dragged to the Uso corner for a double back elbow to the jaw. Dean makes a tag off to Rollins but is easily taken down for a knee drop. Rollins trips Jimmy down though and stomps away as Shield takes over. Seth charges into a backdrop over the top and out to the floor, only to have Ambrose tag him on the way down.

Jey is sent to the floor as well so Roman goes after him. Cue Big E. Langston to stare him down as we take a break. Back with Ambrose holding a chinlock on Jimmy before it’s back to Rollins for a running forearm in the corner. Seth goes to the middle rope but dives into a right hand, allowing for the double tag off to Dean and Jey.

The running Umaga attack in the corner gets a quick two and a jumping kick to the face gets the same. Rollins comes back in and gets caught in a spinebuster. A double superkick knocks Reigns off the apron and as JBL puts it, “WE GOT A FLYING SAMOAN!” Back inside and Jey dives over Amborse into a rollup for the pin at 6:44 shown of 10:14.

Rating: C+. As usual the Usos are good for a solid performance in a tag match. Shield continues to have problems but it could still be awhile before they split. The good thing about them is you can mix up the combinations to keep the story going even longer like they did here. Nice match to open things up.

Post match Shield goes after the Usos but Langston makes the save. Reigns wants to fight all three of them but Rollins and Ambrose hold him back.

We recap the Shawn/Bryan segment from Raw. I still don’t think Shawn is coming back for another match but it’s possible. We also look at the Wyatts attacking Punk and Bryan.

Prime Time Players vs. Wyatt Family

Before the match, Bray appears on screen and says we live in a world of false heroism and he has the cure in the palm of his hand. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down. He stops talking and the Family is in the ring with Bray in his usual place. Rowan throws Darren around with ease before standing on his throat and removing the mask.

Off to Harper for a big boot and a front facelock while rolling around on the mat. Back to Rowan for a neck crank. Harper comes back in to knock Titus to the floor and puts on the front facelock again. Darren finally lunges forward for the tag off to O’Neil who cleans house. Young and Rowan fight to the floor but Harper scores with the discus lariat for the pin on Titus at 3:46.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here with the Wyatts getting to look strong before they head into their big feud with Punk and Bryan. The Players are fine in this role and can move up to challenge for the titles in a low level program if needed. Imagine that: actual tiers in the tag team division.

Darren takes Sister Abigail’s Kiss post match.

We look back at Kane joining the new regime and surrendering his mask to Stephanie on Monday.

Here’s Miz for MizTV which was supposed to have Shawn Michaels as a guest but we get WWE Champion Randy Orton instead. Orton says Shawn isn’t here because Miz is irrelevant and no one cares about his show. He wants to know why this isn’t a celebration of his 11th WWE Championship because Big Show violated the previous one. Due to that knockout, Big Show has been banned from WWE for life. Orton asks Miz how that makes him feel but hits the RKO before Miz can answer. As always, Cole makes it sound like Orton asked for more water at dinner.

Dolph Ziggler shills WWE merchandise.

Bella Twins/Natalya vs. AJ Lee/Alicia Fox/Tamina Snuka

Nikki starts with Alicia and quickly takes her down before bringing in Brie for a Poetry In Motion clothesline. Alicia brings in Tamina for a nice clothesline to take Brie down as the heels take over. Off to AJ for a modified dragon sleeper followed by a guillotine choke. Brie fights out and makes the hot tag off to Natalya who cleans house. AJ comes back with a quick rollup for two as everything breaks down. Natalya grabs a quick Sharpshooter for the submission from AJ at 3:37.

Rating: D+. I guess we’ve moved past the Bellas and onto Natalya now. This is probably going to be the season finale when someone takes the title from AJ because we need to make sure book the wrestling show around a reality show. That being said, I’d take Natalya any day over one of the Bellas.

The Raw ReBound covers the end of the show with Orton’s celebration and Big Show knocking Randy out cold.

We get part of a sitdown interview with HHH where Cole reads from David Otunga’s opinion of Big Show’s lawsuit. HHH gets tired of hearing about it and bans Big Show from the WWE for life. This would be more interesting if Cole hadn’t told us this earlier.

John Cena/Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Real Americans/Damien Sandow

Swagger and Cesaro running to the ring like they’re on a battlefield is great stuff. Cody and Cesaro get us going with Rhodes taking over off a shoulder block. Off to Goldust with an elbow drop before it’s quickly back to Cody for a jumping knee to the face. That gets two as well and everything breaks down. We take a break and come back with Sandow working on Cena’s arm before handing it off to Cesaro for the same.

John hurricanranas his way out of what looked like a powerbomb, allowing for the tag off to Goldust. Swagger gets caught by clotheslines and something resembling Stratusfaction before being backdropped out to the floor. Back in and Jack hits a shoulder to the knee and Goldust is in trouble. Cesaro comes in and pounds away before sending Goldie to the floor for a clothesline by Swagger. Off to Sandow for some knees to the chest and a near fall. Back to Swagger for a front facelock as the fans get behind the gold one.

There’s a hard clothesline to take Goldust down and it’s back to Cesaro for a reverse chinlock. A gutwrench suplex gets two for Antonio and it’s back to Swagger as we take another break. Back with Cesaro getting two on Goldust via a suplex and we’re back to another chinlock. Goldust fights up and drives into the corner for the tag to Cena but the referee didn’t see it. I love that spot.

The Real Americans do their Vader Bomb into the double stomp spot for another two count. Goldust finally comes back with a quick DDT to Cesaro but Damien breaks up the hot tag attempt. Sandow’s chinlock is broken up and Goldust heads to the corner for a jumping back elbow which mostly misses. The drop to the knees and uppercut staggers Sandow but he still knocks Cody and Cena to the floor. A powerslam puts Damien down again and NOW we get the hot tag to Rhodes.

Cody comes in with a springboard dropkick to Sandow followed by the moonsault press (he’s gotten much better at that move) for two. Damien counters Cross Rhodes and makes a tag to Cesaro but there Cross Rhodes takes Sandow out anyway. The distraction lets Antonio come in for a 31 second Cesaro Swing to Rhodes for two. During the Swing Cena speared Swagger on the floor so there’s no one for Cesaro to tag.

The second hot tag brings in Cena who initiates his finishing sequence on Cesaro but the AA is countered into the gutwrench suplex. Cesaro loads up the Swing on Cena but Cena counters into an STF attempt. Antonio rolls through and hits Swiss Death, only to have Cody score with a Disaster Kick to the European. Sandow hits You’re Welcome on Cody but gets bulldogged down by Goldust. Swagger gets the tag and suplexes Goldust down before putting Cena in the Patriot Lock. Cena rolls out and hits a quick AA for the pin at 16:58 shown of 23:58.

Rating: A-. If you’re looking for an old school tag team formula match with a hot ending, go find this match immediately. Awesome stuff here with everyone looking good and a great heat segment on Goldust. If there’s anyone out there that can make someone look like a million bucks better than Cena, I’d love to see them, as he gave Sandow his best match ever and now made the Real Americans look competent. Great main event.

Overall Rating: B. Not a lot happened here but after Monday there wasn’t much left to do tonight. This show is reminiscent of some old In Your House shows: nothing special for the first parts but them an awesome main event takes up the last fourth of the show to save most of it. The opening tag match was decent enough and the other tags weren’t that bad so overall this was good stuff.

Results

Usos b. Shield – Rollup to Ambrose

Wyatt Family b. Prime Time Players – Discus lariat to O’Neil

Bella Twins/Natalya b. AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka/Alicia Fox – Sharpshooter to Lee

Goldust/John Cena/Cody Rhodes b. Real Americans/Damien Sandow – AA to Swagger

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SANDOW CASHED IN!

And he…..LOST!  Cena survived a shockingly awesome match and won with the AA.  This was really good stuff actually and Sandow’s best match ever by about 8000 miles.




Smackdown – October 11, 2013: Half The Roster And The Same Result

Smackdown
Date: October 11, 2013
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

The main story coming into tonight is Big Show being fired by Stephanie and then knocking out HHH to end Raw. In other words, certainly not the WWE Title picture. Big Show was way too happy on Raw, meaning there’s something afoot with him that we don’t know about yet. Other than that we have a Battleground rematch with Truth challenging Axel for the Intercontinental Title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps the Big Show/HHH/Stephanie events from Raw.

Here’s Vickie Guerrero to open the show. We get a clip of Del Rio kissing her on Raw, only to earn him a title defense against Cena at the PPV. Vickie rants about Big Show knocking out HHH on Monday, saying that he already compromised the main event at Battleground. Big Show should have been fired long ago but now his problems have just begun. His house is already for sale which is what he deserves.

Del Rio comes out and doesn’t look pleased. He begs Vickie to reconsider making him defend the title against Cena but the fans seem intrigued by the idea. Vickie says it’s what’s best for business so Del Rio sucks up to her a bit and flirts with her for good measure. Vickie says Del Rio should kiss her and the champion complies both on the cheek and lips, but she had another place in mind.

This brings out Damien Sandow to call Del Rio a phony. Alberto sees Vickie as a sex object that he can easily manipulate. Sandow says Vickie is beautiful but he’s most attracted to her mind. She manipulates her way through life but Del Rio is out here trying to get out of a match with Cena that he knows he’ll lose. That’s not befitting of a champion and when given a chance, Sandow will prove he’s the better man. Vickie makes Sandow vs. Del Rio for later. Alberto lays Damien out but Sandow fights back and chases the champion off. Sandow was acting much more neutral than heelish here but it wasn’t a face turn.

Intercontinental Title: R-Truth vs. Curtis Axel

Axel takes the challenger into the corner to start and fires off chops, only to have Truth come back with some right hands. A hip toss gets two on Curtis and he bails to the floor for a chat with Heyman. Back in and Truth elbows Axel down for two as this is still in first gear. Axel knocks him out to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Truth fighting out of an armbar but getting taken down by a clothesline to the back of the head for two.

We hit the chinlock with Heyman coaching from the floor. Axel whispers some sweet spots into Truth’s ear before the champion gets sent into the corner for the break. They very slowly slug it out until Truth speeds things up with clotheslines. A dropkick puts Axel down for two and a wheelbarrow slam gets two more. The ax kick gets the same but Curtis grabs the bottom rope. No heat on the near fall at all there. Truth thinks he won and the distraction allows Curtis to hit his neckbreaker faceplant to retain at 6:38 shown of 9:08.

Rating: D. This was a really boring match with neither guy showing much energy at all. Truth’s biggest strength is his athleticism but he only had about two flashy moves in the whole match. It never felt like the title was in jeopardy and you don’t want Curtis Axel carrying your match for you.

Los Locales vs. Los Matadores

Los Locales are Ricardo Rodriguez and Tyson Kidd under masks. Fernando starts with Kidd (Locale #1) to give us some decent flipping and diving spots. A double backdrop puts Kidd down and it’s Diego chopping away in the corner. Diego headscissors Kidd down and it’s off to Rodriguez and Fernando with more double teaming by the Matadores. Ricardo makes a blind tag and Kidd gets in a few cheap shots including a HARD kick to the back for two. Back to Rodriguez who misses a charge in the corner, allowing for the tag back to Diego to clean house. Heel miscommunication sets up the double Angle Slam to pin Ricardo at 3:45.

Rating: D+. I’m already over Los Matadores and I don’t see them getting any better. They’re a one idea team and those kind of acts rarely last long. They could benefit from some over the top vignettes but just doing the same stuff they’re doing now isn’t getting them anywhere.

Torito dives on Ricardo post match.

We get Shawn’s campaign speech to be the guest referee inside the Cell.

Brie Bella/Funkadactyls vs. Natalya/Eva Marie/Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn returns. Brie and Natalya shake hands to start before Natalya easily takes her down by the leg. Brie counters into an armbar and then a half crab in some surprisingly nice mat wrestling. Nattie can’t get the Sharpshooter and it’s off to Eva who gets a quick one off a rollup. A wristlock drags Brie to the corner and it’s off to Kaitlyn vs. Cameron. That goes nowhere so here’s Naomi who gets speared down almost immediately. Everything breaks down and the Rear View takes out Natalya. Kaitlyn’s rollup on Naomi is countered into another rollup for the pin for Naomi at 2:53. Above average Divas stuff here actually.

Post match the winners and Nikki dance a lot.

Cody Rhodes and Goldust say they beat the Shield and beat the odds, thanks to their dad putting himself in harm’s way. Their welcome back to Smackdown tonight: the Wyatts.

Damien Sandow vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title. Sandow takes over to start and quickly stomps Del Rio out to the floor. Back in and Alberto kicks away for two before hitting a chinlock less than a minute into the match. Sandow pounds away even more, sending Alberto to the floor. The champion tries to walk out with the title but Sandow sends him into the apron and back into the ring. Back in and Del Rio kicks him down in the corner again for two more before hitting a top rope ax handle to the back for the same.

Back to the chinlock for a bit before Sandow backdrops Sandow up and over the corner and out to the floor. Sandow hits a quick suplex for two and the YOU’RE WELCOME shout gets a face reaction. Alberto comes back with kicks to the leg and forearms to the back of the head, only to miss a charge into the post. Sandown hits another clothesline to send Del Rio to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio dropkicking Sandown down because all he can do is kick in this match. Sandow avoids a charge and sends Alberto to the floor, only to catch Damien with a superkick to take over again. They head back inside for the Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up legsweep for two. Sandow lowers the knee pad but misses the knee drop, allowing Alberto to hit the low superkick for two.

A Codebreaker to the arm puts Sandow down but he counters the armbreaker into an Edge-O-Matic for two. The Terminus is countered into the Backstabber for two more but the corner enziguri misses. Sandow’s running flip neckbreaker gets another near fall but he loses his cool, allowing Del Rio to kick him in the knee and hook the armbreaker for the submission at 11:38 shown of 14:38.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad but Sandow’s impending face turn needs to see him actually win a few matches. The fans like what’s there with him but being a popular loser is only going to carry him so far. As I’ve said many times, he’s desperately in need of a new finishing move as that neckbreaker isn’t worth much at all.

The Raw ReBound covers the Big Show saga. Apparently HHH might have a broken jaw which would have to be wired shut. Big Show may be facing criminal charges as a result.

Great Khali/Prime Time Players vs. 3MB

Khali shoves Slater around to start before it’s quickly off to Mahal. No mention is made of them being brothers in law but we do get to hear about Khali being a snake charmer. Some chops make Mahal scream before it’s off to Young for a northern lights suplex for two. Cole talks about how 3MB is on a roll because they won a match on Main Event. JBL: “Barry Horowitz won a match too once.”

Off to Mahal who kicks Young in the chest for two before it’s time for some triple teaming. Drew tells Darren to reach for his partners before stomping down on his fingers in a nice heel move. Darren finally gets in a shot to the ribs and makes the tag off to Titus. The power man cleans house and gets two on Mahal via a standing fallaway slam. Everything breaks down and the big chop from Khali pins Slater at 5:02.

Rating: D. This wasn’t too bad but it felt like a filler match and nothing more, likely due to a lot of the roster being on the Abu Dhabi tour. The Players’ push seems to be dead which shouldn’t upset most people and really isn’t all that big of a loss. 3MB is perfect for this role as the heels who lose almost all the time but really don’t seem to mind.

Wyatt Family vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust

Bray is the odd man out here but cuts a promo on screen before the entrance, talking about how people call him strange but the water around him is fine. Harper starts with Goldust and the painted one takes over with a quick clothesline. Off to Rowan who is still wearing the mask so Goldust does the deep breath and punches it off his face. Cody comes in to work on the arm but a hard shoulder block takes him down.

We take a break and come back with Cody sending Harper into the corner and making the tag off to Goldie. The painted one cleans house and rains down right hands in the corner on Luke but the bulldog is easily countered. Off to Rowan for a neck crank as Bray adjusts his hat on the floor. It’s quickly back to Harper for a headlock before he misses a dropkick of all things. Luke still manages to break up the hot tag and pounds away with elbows in the corner to the golden jaw.

Back to Rowan for even more power on a hard whip into the corner. We hit the bearhug for a bit before Rowan takes him into the corner for some shots to the head. A charge hits Goldust’s elbow but Erick breaks up another hot tag attempt. Bray gives a nod to Rowan as if to say it’s time and there’s a claw hold to Goldust. That goes nowhere since it’s not 1984 anymore but Rowan misses a spinwheel kick, allowing Goldust to bulldog him down.

There’s the hot tag off to Cody who cleans house with the Disaster Kick to Harper. Everything breaks down and Cody hits a great dive to the floor to take out Rowan, only to get kicked in the face by Harper. Back in and Cody grabs a rollup out of nowhere for the pin at 10:05 shown of 13:05.

Rating: B-. Standard tag team formula here but they worked it very well. Cody and Goldust are on fire at the moment and I can’t imagine they won’t get the tag title shot at the PPV. The Wyatts losing is ok since Bray is the one that matters in the grand scheme of things. Good stuff here.

Overall Rating: C-. The last part of the show was better but the first hour of this show was about as worthless as you could ask a show to be. The lack of star power due to the tour hurt this a lot but it wasn’t a disaster. I like the idea of the Wyatts getting a crack in the main event, even though it’s probably a one off shot for now. Not a bad show here but nothing worth going out of your way to see at all.

Results

Curtis Axel b. R-Truth – Neckbreaker faceplant

Los Matadores b. Los Locales – Double Angle Slam to Locale #2

Funkadactyls/Brie Bela b. Kaitlyn/Eva Marie/Natalya – Rollup to Kaitlyn

Alberto Del Rio b. Damien Sandow – Cross Armbreaker

Great Khali/Prime Time Players b. 3MB – Chop to Slater

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Wyatt Family – Rollup to Harper

 

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Battleground Preview

It’s the latest filler show that no one really wants to see before we have another filler PPV that maybe a few more people want to see in three weeks.  Let’s get to it.

As usual we’ll start with the pre-show match.  I’ll take Ziggler to win.  The guy has fallen, but come on: it’s Damien Sandow.  Even Ziggler hasn’t fallen that far.  I have a feeling this might lead to more later though.

 

Give me Bryan in the main event, presumably setting up the final showdown inside the Cell next time where Orton will stand tall by embracing the CRAZY.  It’s a sad day when a three week title reign will completely blow away his other two reigns, but that’s the WWE we live in.

 

I’m going to take RVD to win the title and say there’s an immediate cash-in.  RVD’s contract is up and it would be a nice way to transition the title to Sandow.  The question though is is Sandow worse than Del Rio as champion?  Somehow I think so, meaning WWE will likely give Damien the title just to mess with us even more.  The match should be nothing of note though.

 

Punk over Ryback, setting up a handicap match of some sort next show where he FINALLY destroys Heyman once and for all.

 

Unfortunately Brie over AJ because we’re supposed to love Brie because she’s sleeping with Daniel Bryan and hate AJ because reality TV is AWESOME.

 

The Rhodes Family wins, but by nefarious means.  I heard an idea that says Big Show is told to destroy the Rhodes, but accidentally gets caught, giving them the win via DQ.  That’s a good way to protect everyone and get the desired result.

 

Axel over Truth of course.

 

Bray beats Kofi in an entertaining match.  If this is turned into the rumored six man, the Wyatts destroy Kofi and the Usos in an even more entertaining match.

 

Overall, I’m really not interested in Battleground.  It’s clearly just a pit stop before we get to the Cell in a mere three weeks, which somehow is an improvement from past schedules.  The show should be entertaining on some levels, but it’s coming in with almost no hype and a main event that we’ve seen before.  Nothing special about this show, which is the case with so much in WWE at the moment.

 

Thoughts/predictions?

 

 

 

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On This Day: August 31, 2012 – Smackdown: Back When Sandow Was Losing In Longer Matches

Smackdown
Date: August 31, 2012
Location: Resch Center Arena, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

After last week’s huge mess, hopefully Smackdown can turn things around tonight. Last week was one of the worst shows I can remember in a long time, which is a shame as I used to love Smackdown. Anyway, we’re getting very close to Night of Champions now and unfortunately, Del Rio hasn’t been hit by a bus or anything like that to keep us from having to sit through another title shot for him. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine at the moment is Del Rio vs. Sheamus. I can’t stand this feud and about 80% of that is on Del Rio.

Orton vs. Ziggler later. Gee I wonder how that’s going to end.

Here’s Sheamus to open the show. First up, he needs to praise HHH. Sheamus isn’t sure what HHH’s future holds but he has Sheamus’ respect. HHH is the embodiment of a champion, which is everything Del Rio isn’t. This brings out Damien Sandow of all people. He talks about how Sheamus is as ignorant as he is enormous because of his praise of HHH.

He goes on about Sheamus and HHH promotes a stereotype to the WWE Universe but Sheamus cuts him off. The champ doesn’t want to hear Sandow yap for twenty minutes so why not come into the ring right now and have a fight. Sandow says Sheamus isn’t worth his time but here’s Booker with a dissenting opinion. He makes Sandow vs. Sheamus for later, which is already more exciting than anything else from last week.

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody talks about how Rey is just like Sin Cara, hiding behind a mask. Rhodes uses his power advantage to start but he ducks his head, letting Rey get in a kick to the face. Cody sends him out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Cody hitting a spinning suplex for two. A release gordbuster gets two followed by some knees to the back and a chinlock.

Cody goes for the mask but gets sent face first into the buckle. Rey speeds things up and hits a seated senton followed by a big kick to the head for two. A knee to Rey’s head gets two but Mysterio kicks Cody into 619 position. Cody catches Rey’s legs but Rey counters the counter into a sunset flip for the pin at 5:31 shown of 9:01.

Rating: C. This was fine. It’s nice to see Cody having an actual story on Smackdown instead of doing nothing on Superstars every other week. I didn’t catch anything being mentioned about Rey and Cody’s history, although at least we’re hearing about how Cody used to be obsessed with his looks to give a reason to the Sin Cara feud.

Cody beats up Rey post match until Cara makes the save and puts a Sin Cara mask on Cody.

We get the first anger management segment from Monday.

Kaitlyn vs. Natalya

Eve is on commentary. Nattie takes her down with a headlock to start and the place is eerily quiet. Kaitlyn shoulder blocks her down and they head to the floor where Kaitlyn gets her head slammed into the floor. Natalya hooks an abdominal stretch and slaps Kaitlyn’s side which has to hurt bad. Kaitlyn comes back with some armdrags but Natalya clotheslines her down. The Canadian runs her mouth and gets small packaged for the pin at 2:45. Getting extra time is helping the Divas a tiny bit but this was more about Eve, who spent the whole match being the corporate suckup, which does nothing for me at all.

Booker is worried about the pressure of being Raw GM is getting to AJ. He says the match between Jericho and Ziggler never should have been made. Vickie comes up and says this is more proof that AJ needs to go. Sweet Christmas enough with the power struggle storylines already.

Raw ReBound talks about Punk/Lawler/Cena from Monday.

Anger management segment #2.

Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow is taken into the ropes to start and requests that the referee does his job. Sandow tries to take it into the corner but Sheamus grabs his beard. To avoid getting punched in the face, Damien drops to the floor and things slow down again. The champ starts running him over with shoulders and Sandow heads to the floor again. This time Sheamus is tired of waiting so he goes out after Damien, only to have his knees sent into the steps by Sandow.

That gets an eight count and Sandow stomps away back inside. Off to a chinlock which Sheamus breaks pretty quickly. A regular neckbreaker (as opposed to the double arm version) gets two for Sandow and it’s back to the chinlock. This one is broken even faster and Sheamus starts his hard hitting offense.

Damien bails to the floor for the third time but Sheamus throws him right back in and hits the ten forearms. A slingshot shoulder block to the back gets two and Damien heads to the floor for I think the fourth time. White Noise is escaped and the Brogue Kick is ducked. Sandow rolls to the floor and sprints up the ramp for the countout at 6:51.

Rating: C. This wasn’t a great match, but it was a logical one. The idea of Sandow not being able to hang in a fight with Sheamus makes perfect sense and having him constantly trying to run and clear his head was a nice touch. This is exactly what Sandow needs: to be able to rub elbows with bigger names. He didn’t need to win here and certainly shouldn’t have, but having him in there is a good step in the right direction.

Prime Time Players vs. Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd

Kidd and Gabriel have matching yellow shirts which look like dresses on them. Kidd and Titus get things going as the Usos Tout about how they should be #1 contenders. Off to Young vs. Gabriel after the starters do nothing of note. Justin takes Young to the mat after making a blind tag, allowing Kidd to kick Darren in the face.

Off to Titus who powers Tyson down and brings Darren back in. The Players are very good about tagging in and out quickly. Tyson sends Young into the corner and tags out to Justin. An STO puts Darren down and Justin loads up the 450, only for Titus to distract him. Darren crotches Gabriel and hits the fireman’s carry gutbuster for the pin at 3:13. This one looked better as he launched Gabriel into the air and Justin was in free fall when he hit the knees.

Rating: C. I know I’ve used that rating a lot tonight but this was exactly what the rating implies: it was ok and right in the middle. I do like that the guys in the tag division are actually getting a little time every week. If nothing else it lets a lot more guys get on TV as opposed to showing up every other PPV and have a title defense that means nothing. These matches don’t exactly equal the Harts vs. the Bulldogs but they’re an improvement over what we’ve been getting the last few years.

The final anger management segment airs. Kane’s explanation of his history is still hilarious.

Here’s Del Rio with something to say. Alberto brags about beating Orton last week but doesn’t care to be reminded that Sheamus has beaten him every time. Del Rio threatens Josh but here’s Kane for protection I guess. Kane says he’s here to apologize for attacking Josh at Summerslam. Teddy comes out and makes Kane vs. Alberto.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kane

This is joined in progress after a break but it doesn’t look like we missed much. Kane pounds on Del Rio in the corner but Alberto comes back with some kicks to the legs. Kane comes back with a low dropkick to the head for two and an uppercut that sends Del Rio to the apron. Del Rio rams Kane’s arm into the buckle and follows it up with a kick to the shoulder. Kane will have none of that and hits a sidewalk slam to set up the top rope clothesline for no cover. Kane loads up the chokeslam but Ricardo pulls Kane’s leg. The distraction lets Del Rio hit a Backstabber for the pin at 2:46.

Post match Kane snaps and chokeslams Josh, but he apologizes while he does it.

HHH video from Raw.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler dropkicks Randy down to start and struts a bit. Dolph shows off a bit so Randy dropkicks him down as well in a nice touch. A slingshot suplex gets two on Dolph but Ziggler comes back with a neckbreaker and some elbow drops. Orton wins a slugout and fires off his clotheslines. The powerslam sets up the elevated DDT but Ziggler counters. Ziggler doesn’t get back inside though and Orton pulls him to the top rope for a superplex.

That only gets two and Ziggler comes back with a jumping DDT for another near fall. The crowd is starting to get into this. Dolph charges at Randy but gets caught in the Elevated DDT for another two. Orton was laughing while he hit that which was kind of a nice touch. They head to the floor with Ziggler being thrown over the announce table. Back inside and Ziggler misses the Zig Zag, allowing the RKO to pin him at 7:10.

Rating: C+. This was a fast paced main event style match, but man alive did they have to have Ziggler lose AGAIN? Orton is leaving for a few months to film whatever the next WWE movie is. Ziggler is indeed Mr. MITB and probably will win the title before the year is over, but as always in WWE, the idea seems to be to have him lose time after time so he can surprise everyone and win it all back at once. You know, because no heel can look strong in WWE and they all have to be cowards that steal every win they get.

Vickie immediately announces that Dolph is still Mr. MITB and says he did a good job. Yes, make sure you hammer in that the guy who is going to get a title match is such a loser.

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn’t a great show at all but man alive was it better than last week. It’s amazing how much better things are when you don’t have Alberto and Sheamus interacting. Seeing Sandow getting a match against the champ, even when he was mostly dominated and lost, was a good sign that there are big things in his future. This show toned down the stupid stuff and they got a better show out of it.

Results

Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes – Sunset Flip

Kaitlyn b. Natalya – Small Package

Sheamus b. Damien Sandow via countout

Prime Time Players b. Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd – Fireman’s carry gutbuster to Gabriel

Alberto Del Rio b. Kane – Backstabber

Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO

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On This Day: August 23, 2012 – Superstars:

Superstars
Date: August 23, 2012
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California/Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Scott Stanford, Matt Striker

This is another request and in something rather different, this is from less than a month ago. People ask me to do Superstars more often but you can only do so much of the same WWE stuff over and over again. Anyway this is seemingly a random episode of the show so maybe we’ll get some good action out of it which tends to be the case from this show. Let’s get to it.

For the sake of context, this is four days after Summerslam.

Damien Sandow vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Sandow does his usual schtick about before the match. Yoshi’s music is so catchy it’s unreal. Sandow takes over to start and drops a knee for two. Off to a chinlock but Yoshi quickly breaks it up and comes back with a chop. Sandow ties Yoshi up in the ring skirt and pounds away as Tatsu can’t get anything going here. The best he can get are a few rollups for two and some LOUD chops. A big kick puts Sandow down but the top rope spinwheel kick misses. The Russian legsweep sets up the windup elbow and the double arm neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: C-. Extended squash here but that’s what something like Superstars is good for. They don’t need to run through a match in two minutes or so and it gives them some more ring time. The problem with that is almost no one gets extended ring time so when they’re asked to do it, they don’t know what they’re doing and the matches usually don’t work.

We get a LONG recap of Lesnar vs. HHH from Summerslam as well as the fallout on Raw.

Drew McIntyre vs. Alex Riley

Drew has a bad hand here and milks it a bit before Riley grabs the wrist. A dropkick puts Drew on the floor but Riley misses a dive. Off to an armbar from McIntyre followed by some stomps to the leg. This is going really slowly. Drew tries the FutureShock but Riley sends him into the corner. Drew heads up but gets rolled up off the top for the pin for Riley out of nowhere.

Rating: D. Drew’s offense is really dull as he just stomped a bit after getting control due to Riley missing a dive. Riley is one of those guys that can’t get on TV for some reason and while I’ve heard various reasons, most of them seem stupid when you have a guy that could do some good for a company with basically no midcard to speak of at times.

Video on the Asian tour.

Video from the end of Raw with Cena confronting Punk before Punk beat up Lawler.

Justin Gabriel vs. Cody Rhodes

This is a rematch from a few weeks ago where Cody won. There’s actually a story here: Justin showed up with a chick and Cody hit on her, setting up the first match. See how easy that is? Both guys feel each other out to start and it turns into a contest of showing each other up. Gabriel gets a rollup for two which Cody takes offense to. They trade some HARD slaps and Gabriel takes Cody down and into a freaky arm trap hold.

Cody gets sent to the floor but he moves before Justin can dive. Unfortunately he moves into position for another dive from Gabriel as we take a break. Back with Gabriel hitting what looked like a dropkick for two. Gabriel goes to the apron but gets his arm snapped across the top rope to give Cody control. He bends Gabriel’s arm over the apron before hitting a gordbuster for two. Cody cranks on the arm a bit more and gets two off an uppercut.

Back to more work on the arm, this time in the form of a hammerlock. Justin starts a quick comeback but misses a top rope Lionsault to give Cody control again. Off to a short arm scissors but Gabriel gets off his back to break the hold. A monkey flip puts Cody down as does a spinning kick to the face. Justin hits a kind of sitout powerbomb for two but a slam is countered into the Cross Rhodes for the pin for Cody out of nowhere. Nice counter.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here with a sweet counter to end things. Gabriel is good in this kind of a role: the guy who isn’t going to win a major match anytime soon but he’s got enough speed and ability to keep things interesting. For a main event on Superstars, this was fine.

Overall Rating: C+. This is Superstars in a nutshell: you get some decent wrestling from guys you don’t usually see on WWE TV, but for the most part there’s a reason these guys aren’t on the big shows. They’re not bad at all but they don’t have anything that sets them apart from everyone else. Still though, you won’t regret watching it and if you’ve got roughly 45 minutes to kill and want to watch wrestling, there are far worse things you could pick.

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Smackdown – August 9, 2013: The Smackdown Formula To The Letter

Smackdown
Date: August 9, 2013
Location: BMO Harris Bank Center, Rockford, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

After Monday we have a lot more set up for Summerslam. The primary addition for the Smackdown side of things is Rhodes vs. Sandow in a match that isn’t going to do much as both guys’ stock is so low right now. Other than that we’re likely to get some more build for Del Rio vs. Christian which didn’t get a ton of time on Monday. Let’s get to it.

Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

If Orton’s actions on Monday were supposed to be a heel turn, the crowd here didn’t get the message. This match makes sense but I would have bet on it being at Summerslam. Randy takes him down to the mat to start before grabbing a standing headlock. Van Dam comes back with a spin kick to send Orton into the ropes for a standoff. Back to the headlock from Orton before a dropkick gets a quick two. Still in first gear so far.

Rob misses a cross body and crashes out to the floor where he rams Orton head first into the steps. The spin kick to Orton’s back puts both guys down on the floor and we take a break. Back with Orton dropping a knee and pounding away in the corner. Van Dam goes up top but is shoved off the top and into the barricade in a big crash. Randy belly to backs him onto the barricade again for two back inside and we hit the chinlock.

Van Dam fights up and plants Randy for the split legged moonsault, good for two. A top rope flip attack gets two more but his attempted roll into a monkey flip is blocked. The backbreaker gets two as the crowd is getting into this. Orton hits his clotheslines followed by the powerslam for another near fall. Rob counters the Elevated DDT into a northern lights suplex for two of his own.

RVD loads up a springboard but Orton dropkicks him out to the apron for the Elevated DDT. JBL: “Do the repetitive call Michael!” The RKO is countered by a kick to the face and a rollup gets two. Another kick sets up Rolling Thunder (Rob overshot it and only his head hit Orton) but the Five Star misses and it’s the RKO for the pin at 10:37 shown of 13:22.

Rating: B. This was better than I was expecting with both guys moving very well out there. I’m surprised this wasn’t at Summerslam since both guys are hot right now and neither has anything to do at the show. This was reminiscent of the Orton vs. Christian matches with some good counters and a nice flow to the match. Good stuff here and I’d like to see some more from these two.

Time for MizTV with guests Big E. Langston and AJ. Miz asks Langston what their relationship is but AJ says Langston is a nice friend and a good guy. That’s not good enough for Miz and Big E. doesn’t look too pleased. Miz says cool and gives Langston a thumbs up before accusing AJ of having a lot of “friends.” Miz lists off the guys that AJ has had around here and suggests that the problem is her, not them.

AJ blames it on them and says they’re not heroes. They got her to fall for them and dumped her. Then Kaitlyn wasn’t even there for her so she had nothing at all. At the end of the day, the only thing that will never abandon her is the Divas Title. This brings out Ziggler who says no woman can get over him. A Ziggler chant starts up but the fans don’t seem to be as into it as they sound.

AJ says they had something special and Ziggler isn’t over it. He’ll never be able to touch her again but here’s Kaitlyn to interrupt. Ziggler may not be able to touch AJ but she can. The arguments begin again but Miz cuts them off. He’s tired of the arguing so he makes a mixed tag for Summerslam which apparently he can just do. The brawl breaks out and the heels both take finishers.

The Raw ReBound talks about Punk vs. Axel and the post match brawl with Lesnar. I was having a hard time believing I could buy into the physical aspect of the match but they made me believe with that brawl.

Del Rio wants to know why he’s fighting Christian tonight. That’s a good question actually. Vickie goes into her rant about how Del Rio needs to respect her and she’s willing to risk him getting hurt. We’re apparently still in the “Vickie is acting like a good GM before going all evil” stage of her job. Wasn’t she supposed to be all mega evil and vindictive against the fans this time?

Fandango vs. Kofi Kingston

The fans sing the Fandango song to start but Kofi knocks him down and stomps away in the corner. Fandango avoids Trouble in Paradise and low bridges Kofi to the floor. Back in and JBL calls Fandango a cross between Mr. Bojangles and Randy Couture. Off to the chinlock for a few seconds before Kofi counters a belly to back into a cross body for two.

Fandango charges into the post but rolls to the floor to avoid the Boom Drop. Kofi baseball slides him down but Summer Rae blocks a top rope dive. Instead Kofi runs the apron and dives onto Fandango, injuring Summer’s ankle in the process. Fandango posts Kofi and of course Summer is fine. Back inside and the guillotine legdrop is good for the pin on Kofi at 4:44.

Rating: C. First and foremost, this was MUCH better for Kofi than the Raw match as he looked like his old self out there tonight. This booking makes me roll my eyes though as the 50/50 stuff doesn’t do anyone any good and makes both guys look weak. Maybe that’s why almost no one goes up from the midcard without a briefcase.

Daniel Bryan says he likes the way he looks and asking him to cut the beard was his breaking point. He won’t change for anyone but he’ll change history by winning the WWE Championship.

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Barrett is clean shaven again and starts fast by pounding Bryan down. Bryan flips over Wade in the corner and hits the running clothesline. There are the kicks but Barrett hits a hard clothesline to send Bryan to the floor. Bryan is whipped into the steps and slammed down for two. Off to a chinlock but Bryan sends Wade forward into the buckle to escape. Winds of Change get two but Wade is more interested in cutting the beard instead of winning. Bryan kicks him away and hits the running knee off the apron. Back in and the swan dive sets up the YES Lock for the submission at 4:08.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here and Barrett continues to be the same guy with a slightly different look. He either needs a completely new character or to get used to being a jobber to the stars for the next few years. This was a fine match for Bryan as he continues to be on fire and keep the fans interested in him.

Sandow looks at a clip of Cody throwing the case in the Gulf of Mexico and pulls out a new leather briefcase which has a brand new contract. He’ll be cashing it in to become world champion of the unwashed masses. Wow it’s almost like the entire deal with Cody throwing the case in the water means absolutely nothing not.

Video on the Wyatts vs. Kane.

Kane vs. 3MB

Cole tells us about the Ring of Fire match, which is going to be a regular match but the ring will be surrounded by fire to prevent interference. All of the Band is in the ring at the same time but Kane easily throws them around. They head to the floor with Slater and McIntyre being thrown into various objects. Back inside and a chokeslam finishes Mahal at 1:33.

The Wyatts pop up on screen to talk about the Ring of Fire match. Bray likes the idea of Kane thinking he’s a demon but thinks it’s funny that Kane believes fire will stop his brothers. The fire is smart enough to be afraid of Wyatt because it can’t hurt him. Bray’s secret is that he’s already dead.

Brock Lesnar says he’s allowed Punk to live this long out of respect for Paul. The Beast is the Best and there’s no professional jealously from Brock. Why should there be? Punk was never an NCAA Champion or the UFC Heavyweight Champion. Being WWE Champion for 434 days is impressive, especially for someone like Punk. Good heel promo from Brock here, similar to the one before his match with Cena.

Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title of course. Del Rio gets a quick two off a shoulder block and Christian isn’t sure what to do. After clapping a bit he runs Alberto over a few times as well and puts on a headlock. Del Rio takes him into the corner for some shots to the ribs but gets caught in a drop toehold into the ropes. Alberto avoids the uppercut from the floor but Christian knocks him outside instead. A baseball slide puts the champion down and we take a break.

Back with Christian pounding away in the corner but having his tornado DDT countered. A double stomp to the back gets two for Alberto but gets rammed into the post while trying to crotch Christian against the steel. Christian’s dive off the top hits the barricade and both guys are down on the floor. Back in and Christian is tossed into the air and crashes down before Del Rio hits a low superkick to the head. Christian is sent into the corner and a USA chant starts up to get under Alberto’s skin.

Alberto puts him in the Tree of Woe for some shots to the ribs before the Canadian goes up top. Del Rio goes up to meet him but Christian shoves him off, sending both guys to the floor as we take another break. Back with Alberto getting two off a middle rope dropkick and starting his attack on the arm. Alberto gets crotched on the top and taken down by a top rope hurricanrana, getting two. Now the uppercut connects and a jumping back elbow looks to set up the Killswitch.

Del Rio counters and hits a quick tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two before sending Christian into the corner. Cole ignores most of the action to recap the rest of the show. Christian escapes from the corner and tries the Killswitch but gets caught in the Backstabber for two. Back up and Christian spears him down for two but a second attempt hits the post.

Christian escapes the armbreaker into a rollup for a close two (I believe the same move he pinned Alberto with a few weeks ago) but the low superkick gets two for the champion. Del Rio pulls him into the middle of the ring but gets caught in a small package for the pin at 13:35 shown of 19:20.

Rating: B+. This sums up WWE’s thinking in general: you have a match that could be a nice addition at Summerslam and they put it here on Smackdown for free instead. Hopefully they change the match at Summerslam now by adding someone else to it (Orton and Van Dam would be candidates given how much the announcers have been raving about the three way) because right now we’re looking at Del Rio retaining, because that’s how WWE works: Christian has beaten him clean twice so it’s time for Del Rio to win and then wonder why people don’t buy him as champion.

Post match Del Rio goes after Christian but gets caught in the Killswitch……AND HERE’S SANDOW! He hands the case to the referee but turns around into a cross body from Cody. Cross Rhodes lays Sandow out to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. We got some good matches here and some build to the PPV so what more can you ask for from Smackdown? The interesting thing is where some big names land on the card. There are still no matches for Mark Henry, Ryback, Shield, RVD or Orton and the card is already filling up. The show tonight was entertaining though with good long wrestling and storyline development which is what Smackdown should always focus on.

Results

Randy Orton b. Rob Van Dam – RKO

Fandango b. Kofi Kingston – Guillotine Legdrop

Daniel Bryan b. Wade Barrett – YES Lock

Kane b. 3MB – Chokeslam to Mahal

Christian b. Alberto Del Rio – Small Package

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Monday Night Raw – August 5, 2013: Don’t Touch The Beard!

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 5, 2013
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re back live this week after last week’s not so great taped show. No matches have been announced for tonight that I can remember but there will be Daniel Bryan’s corporate makeover. We’re rapidly approaching Summerslam and there are only three matches announced. Odds are we’ll get a lot of stuff added on tonight and Friday so let’s get to it.

Here’s Stephanie to open the show. She talks about Bryan’s corporate makeover and gives us a video of him being fitted in a suit and having his hair cleaned up. Back in the arena and the fans chant NO. Here’s the improved Bryan in a suit with a ponytail and a beard. He isn’t sure how the fans like it but he doesn’t think this is what the company wants. They clearly want someone in cargo shorts and a yellow t-shirt who will sell a bunch of stuff the people don’t need.

Bryan talks about how Cena has been on the top of the mountain for ten years now because he’s an entertainer, but Bryan is a wrestler. If Cena was fired he’d go back to his mansion and cars and would never have to wrestle again. If Bryan were to be fired tomorrow, he’d be in every armory and gym because that’s what he loves to do. The fans cheer and Bryan thinks they love wrestling too. Bryan says he’ll dress up for now but at Summerslam, he’s going to make John Cena tap out like everyone wants him to do.

This brings out Vince who says he appreciates Stephanie’s efforts and thinks Bryan has given it the old college try but it’s not perfect. Vince talks about how he doesn’t want Bryan or Cena to be champion because we’ve never had a dwarf as champion. Bryan is so unkempt that he looks like a miniature Mick Foley but maybe we can work something out. There’s one final thing that needs to go though: the beard. Vince calls for the barber’s chair but Bryan says no. The boss talks about how Bryan will do this if he wants to be WWE Champion and this is the first step.

Bryan gets out of the ring and takes off the suit jacket but Vince says we need a barber. The barber is going to be….Wade Barrett? Wade gets ready to shave him but Bryan jumps him and shaves off Wade’s beard (or at least half of it) before sending Barrett into the crowd. Bryan says he won’t change for Vince because he’s going to be who he is and then be WWE champion. He takes off the shirt to reveal a t-shirt saying The Beard Is Here with an arrow pointing up. Vince is ticked.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam

Miz is on commentary. Non-title again and Ricardo is back, a week earlier than the reported return date. Del Rio attacks to start but Van Dam fires back with forearms to the jaw. A standing moonsault gets two and Del Rio rolls to the floor, only to have Rob hit a moonsault off the apron as we take a break.

Back with Van Dam blocking a shot into the buckle and kicking Del Rio down.

Rolling Thunder misses and Alberto’s low superkick gets two. Alberto misses his running enziguri in the corner and Van Dam kicks him down before. Rolling Thunder connects for two but the split legged moonsault hits knees. Ricardo puts the bucket in the corner but it’s Alberto being sent face first into it, giving Van Dam a rollup for the pin at 6:14. Not long enough shown to rate but did we really need this loss?

Post match Del Rio superkicks Ricardo and hits him with the bucket before crushing him between the steps and the post.

Here’s Cody Rhodes in the ring to talk about Sandow jumping him from behind last week. He has a present for Sandow in a box but first, we look at their issues over the past few weeks. Back in the arena and Cody opens the box: the crushed briefcase, complete with seaweed hanging off the side. Here’s Damien himself to say put the case down and walk away. Cody puts it down but charges at Sandow and the fight is on. Cody kicks him to the floor and opens the case to reveal the actual contract. Rhodes puts it back in the case and throws it back at Sandow who doesn’t pick it up.

Ryback vs. Mark Henry

They stare each other down and Ryback grabs a headlock to start. Henry runs him over with a shoulder but Ryback goes after Henry’s knee. Mark comes back and knocks Ryback to the floor…..and Ryback walks out at 1:46. Thanks for this one guys.

The Bellas are arguing over who looked better on Total Divas. Eva Marie comes up to laugh about how they made Natalya look stupid last week. Natalya comes up and slaps a Bella, likely setting up a match later.

Here’s Cena with something to say. Cena says he’s used to being a target but most of the time the people are just mad at him. Every once in awhile though he has to face a true fan favorite, which means the people have to choose. He’s been listening to the people and it’s obvious the fans Daniel Bryan. Cena heard what the people said and he doesn’t blame them.

He also heard what Daniel Bryan said earlier and it made Daniel Bryan sound ignorant. Daniel Bryan said the same things that The Rock and CM Punk and everyone else who doesn’t like the color of Cena’s shirt or the kind of cereal he eats. Cena was back a day after breaking his neck and his elbow looks like a football but he’s here because he loves it.

Bryan talked about wrestling in armories and gyms because that’s where he’s most comfortable. Daniel was right that if Cena was fired tomorrow he’d never wrestle again because he wouldn’t settle for anything but the best and he wouldn’t tarnish the WWE by going elsewhere. Cena has heard people tell him he can’t wrestle for years and he knows what it sounds like. He’s been WWE Champion 11 times and that’s too many times to be lucky. Cena thinks the fans want to see Bryan vs. Cena right now and there’s the YES chant.

This is a huge match for Bryan and if he wins, he’s earned the WWE Championship, but if he loses he has to admit that he’s not good enough. Bryan is on fire but Cena has been mowing people down since January. At Summerslam the people can cheer for whomever they want, but Cena is walking out champion. Excellent stuff here that sets up the dynamic of the match perfectly.

Cena drops the mic but here’s Orton. He talks about how Cena is always aware of the target on his back but he never remembers the target in front of his face. The briefcase is what matters because it means Orton will be WWE Champion. It could happen at Summerslam, it could happen the night after, or it could happen at Wrestlemania. All it means is that the champ is here, not with Cena.

Cue Shield of all people as things get even more interesting. They surround the stars but here’s Bryan (still in the ponytail) for the save. Shield runs off now that the odds are even but it’s GM time, with Maddox making the six man main event. When did Maddox shrink and become a bald black man?

Wyatt Family vs. Tons of Funk

Harper starts with Tensai and shouts yeah a lot. A big boot puts Tensai down and it’s off to Rowan for forearms in the corner but he runs into an elbow. Tensai puts him down with a clothesline and everything breaks down with Rowan running Brodus down. Harper’s discus lariat sets up a splash from Rowan to pin Tensai at 1:20.

Post match Bray gets in and hits Sister Abigail on Brodus before grabbing a mic. He says Kane isn’t a monster but rather an illusion. The demon is a lie but he himself is much different. He’s the man of 1000 truths and the eater of worlds. He is forever and follow the buzzards. Wyatt kneels over Brodus but Kane’s pyro lights up the arena.

On screen, Kane says that when you pull the wings off a buzzard, they’re impossible to follow. He sees through Bray’s words and sees that Bray is here to maim everyone in his path. Kane likes that and does them as well, but he does them for amusement, not to spread a message. Bray will find out why Kane is the devil’s favorite demon at Summerslam. Not the Family nor anyone else can save Wyatt from the ring of fire. Fire shoots out of the posts and Bray drops to his knees in laughter.

Punk is in the back and wants to talk about Curtis Axel’s dad Mr. Perfect and Bobby Heenan. The difference between those two and Axel/Heyman is Perfect had his own thoughts when he was on screen with Heenan. The younger version having Heyman as his guide is going to earn him a beating tonight. After that, Punk is going to take the Beast’s manhood away, just like he promised.

Kaitlyn vs. Layla

Thankfully Layla hasn’t dropped the shorts. Layla says she turned on Kaitlyn for the attention and she’s coming for all the regular divas and the Total Divas. Kaitlyn takes her down to start and pounds away so Layla runs to the ropes. The referee pulls Kaitlyn away, allowing Layla to take over with a DDT. Layla chokes away in the corner and slams Kaitlyn face first into the mat. She charges into a backbreaker though and Kailtyn starts her comeback. The gutbuster puts Kaitlyn down but here’s AJ to distract Kaitlyn from the spear. Layla bails to the apron but an AJ distraction lets Layla kick Kaitlyn in the head for the pin at 2:59.

Kaitlyn and Layla skip around the ring post match. Apparently that kick is called the Bombshell.

We recap Cody and Sandow’s issues from earlier. Cody vs. Sandow is official for Summerslam.

Christian vs. Heath Slater

Christian sends him into 619 position but can’t uppercut Slater because of the other Band members. Slater takes over with some forearms to the chest and it’s off to the chinlock. Slater jumps off the middle rope and lands on Christian’s boot and a flapjack sets up a middle rope dropkick for two for Christian. Slater is knocked to the apron and backdropped back inside so the sunset flip out of the corner can get two. Slater stops to dance but gets caught by the spear for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: C-. This was a better match than I was expecting but it still was nothing great. Christian looked good and gets a win before the PPV, unlike Del Rio earlier. That being said, it would appear that Del Rio wins at Summerslam because that’s what WWE does. Why they think losing all the matches until winning the blowoff makes things ok I’m not sure, but that’s the status quo.

CM Punk vs. Curtis Axel

Non-title of course. Punk charges up the ramp before the bell and the brawl starts near the stage. Punk keeps trying to get to Heyman who has gone backstage. They head to the ring with Punk in control and the bell rings. Axel takes over with some chops but Punk takes him down into an Indian Deathlock of all things. Before he falls down with the hold, Punk spits in the air and tries to slap it away ala Mr. Perfect and the gum. Axel rolls to the floor and gets caught with the suicide dive as we take a break.

Back with Axel cranking on an armbar and elbowing Punk in the face for two. A middle rope elbow sets up another chinlock from Axel as Heyman comes back to ringside. Punk finally rolls out of the hold and crawls over at Heyman, only to be clotheslined down for two. Punk comes back with a spinning cross body out of the corner but a Heyman distraction lets Curtis take over. CM comes back with a kick to the head and the running knee in the corner but Curtis breaks up the Macho Elbow. The McGillicutter gets two but Punk kicks Axel in the head again. Not that it matters as he goes after Heyman, drawing a DQ at 10:22.

Rating: C+. I was digging this match until the end but the ending kind of sucked. To be fair though they didn’t have Axel do another job which is the right idea. Punk vs. Lesnar is going to be golden and the hatred that Punk has for Heyman is selling this feud as perfectly as you could ask it to. Decent match here with Axel getting to look good.

Post match here’s Lesnar but Axel pulls Punk to the floor. Punk takes him down with a GTS and grabs a chair but brock takes it away. Punk fires off forearms and kicks to the head to stagger Brock and a flying forearm off the table takes Brock down. Not that it matters as Lesnar casually grabs him and throws him down with a belly to belly. They head inside but Punk escapes the F5 and hits Brock in the back with the chair. Heyman is in the ring and drops to his knees in terror but Lesnar takes the chair away from Punk and lays him out with the F5. Brock nails Punk in the back with the chair for good measure.

After a break Lesnar wants to know if that’s the best the world has to offer. Heyman says next week, he’s going to the ring and giving Punk a chance at a man vs. man fight.

Fandango vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi is much skinnier and is in long tights now. Fandango takes over quickly to start and takes Kofi down as the announcers talk about ballet. A quick chinlock sets up a dropkick to Kofi but a middle rope knee drop misses. Kofi comes back with a dropkick and the Boom Drop but Fandango bails from Trouble in Paradise. Fandango gets in a kick of his own but misses the legdrop, allowing Kofi to get two off a cross body. Trouble in Paradise is good for the pin at 3:43.

Rating: D+. I hope that was just ring rust from Kofi as he didn’t look very good out there at all. The fans didn’t seem to care about him at all and the tights aren’t working for him. Fandango has fallen since that concussion and it’s a shame to see the booking go this way for him. Kofi didn’t look all that good though and hopefully he gets better.

HHH is in the office when Stephanie comes in crying. Vince hated the segment and HHH goes NUTS, ranting and raving about how Vince is no longer a creative genius and goes on his own whims. HHH isn’t going to stand by and watch the ship go down and he’s going to do something about Vince.

Real Americans vs. Usos

Colter resorts to making fun of cheese and the Green Bay Packers to get heat. Jey runs over Swagger for two to start but gets caught in the powerslam/belly to belly for two. Off to Cesaro for a double stomp for two more before Jack comes in with a shoulder to the leg. Swagger finally misses the Vader Bomb and it’s hot tag to Jimmy. Everything breaks down and Jimmy hits a big dive to take Swagger out. Cesaro jumps into part of a superkick but gets out at two. A Colter distraction lets Cesaro hit a quick Neturalizer for the pin on Jimmy at 3:52.

Rating: D+. This was ok but I’m having a bit of trouble buying the Real Americans as a threat after all those matches they lost. The Usos are the latest team to get going for a few weeks and then fall back into jobber status a few weeks later. That’s WWE booking for you because Heaven forbid anyone get hot when it’s not for a title.

Big E. Langston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler hits a quick dropkick for one and gets out of a gorilla press, only to be knocked off the apron and out to the floor. Back in and Langston puts on an abdominal stretch for a big. Big E. misses a charge into the post and Ziggler snaps off a quick Stinger Splash and a neckbreaker for two. Ziggler tries to speed things up but gets caught in a drop into a backbreaker to put him down. Langston misses a splash and Dolph mostly misses a Fameasser for two. Kaitlyn comes out to go after AJ because that feud hasn’t gone on long enough. The girls get in the ring and Big E. runs Dolph over. Big Ending and we’re done at 4:14.

Rating: D+. The crowd didn’t care here and I don’t think they’ll care much more about the tag match this sets up for Summerslam. Why Ziggler would want to team with Kaitlyn after this I’m not sure as she just cost him a match but that’s WWE logic for you. Not much to see here but Langston clearly has a ton of potential.

John Cena/Daniel Bryan/Randy Orton vs. Shield

The bell rings at 10:59 so don’t expect much from this one. Orton starts with Rollins and it’s Seth in early trouble. A suplex puts him down and it’s off to Bryan with a middle rope dropkick but Ambrose gets the tag. That’s cool with Bryan as he runs Dean over with a clothesline and sends him to the floor for the FLYING GOAT.

Reigns gets in a shot on the floor to take over and it’s Bryan as your face in peril. Rollins hooks a chinlock before it’s off to Roman for some power. A double gutbuster gets two on Bryan but he charges over for the tag to Cena….but the referee doesn’t see it. Everything breaks down anyway and Bryan gets the YES Lock on Rollins, drawing in the other Shield members for the DQ at 5:26.

Rating: C-. This was what you would have expected. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere and was just there to set up the post match stuff. I’m not a fan of endings like that because there are saves made all the time that don’t draw DQ’s. This was crippled by a lack of time which is a shame.

Post match Orton lays out Bryan with an RKO but has to help Cena clear the ring. Shield runs and there’s an RKO to Cena. Orton GETS THE BRIEFCASE but Shield comes down and beats up Cena and Bryan even more. Orton walks away in a heelish move and Bryan takes a TripleBomb to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a moving day towards Summerslam as we added a match and enhanced a lot of the others. The matches were good enough tonight but this was all about the promos and storytelling which often make for better episodes. Bryan vs. Cena is going to be AWESOME with both guys trying to prove the other wrong and the promos showed that. Punk vs. Lesnar looks good with Punk trying to slay the monster and the physical side has a chance. Good but not great show tonight.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Alberto Del Rio – Rolling Cradle

Mark Henry b. Ryback via countout

Wyatt Family b. Tons of Funk – Splash to Clay

Layla b. Kaitlyn – Bombshell Kick

Christian b. Heath Slater – Spear

Kofi Kingston b. Fandango – Trouble in Paradise

Real Americans b. Usos – Neutralizer to Jimmy Uso

Big E. Langston b. Dolph Ziggler – Big Ending

Randy Orton/John Cena/Daniel Bryan b. Shield via DQ when Ambrose and Reigns wouldn’t leave the ring

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Smackdown – July 26, 2013: Well That Was Different

Smackdown
Date: July 26, 2013
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re closing in on Summerslam and the main story on Smackdown is we have no #1 contender to the title. Orton beat Del Rio clean last week but wasn’t even on Raw to acknowledge the win. Alberto doesn’t have any feud going right now and is just kind of floating around having random match after random match. Odds are tonight will be spent building up the Raw matches for the PPV. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence gets things going.

Randy Orton vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow is glad the fans have taken the time off from watching the bug zapper to be here tonight. He’s the uncrowned world champion and we’re welcome for that. Randy elbows him down to start but Sandow grabs a headlock to slow things down. Some shoulders into the ribs have Orton in trouble but he sends Sandow into the corner and fires off right hands to take over. A suplex gets two and Randy stomps on Sandow’s fingers. Damien comes back with a shot to the knee but Orton throws him out to the floor.

A drop onto the barricade gets two for Randy but Sandow fires off shoulder in the corner to get a breather. Orton punches out of the corner and knocks Sandow to the apron. The Elevated DDT is countered with a guillotine on the top rope for two as we take a break. Back with Orton pounding down right hands in the corner but Sandow drapes him over the top rope for two. We hit a bodyscissors on Orton as we get an awkward audio edit. The fans sounded like they were chanting We Want Cody but it almost immediately turned into a Randy chant, only to go back to the Cody chant a few moments later.

Sandow hits the Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up Elbow for two before going back to the bodyscissors. Orton punches his way out and hits the powerslam but here’s Cody for a distraction before the Elevated DDT can connect. Rhodes picks up the briefcase and walks away with it, allowing Orton to hit the RKO for the pin at 11:26 shown of 14:26.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing special because there was no reason to think Sandow was going to win. It’s the flaw with how WWE books Money in the Bank: they think it’s some magic pill that makes up for months of losses for a guy like Sandow, but people realize the guy never wins anything. I did some quick research on this and Sandow has won a total of two matches on Raw or Smackdown this year. People aren’t going to buy him as a world title contender because he beat Brodus and R-Truth but lost every other match on the main shows. Why WWE thinks this works is beyond me but we’re stuck with it.

Cody takes the briefcase with him.

Here’s Punk to an eruption with something to say. Punk says he got what he wanted with the Best vs. the Beast. Heyman taught him a lot about being the dirtiest player in the game, including how to go after your opponent’s weak spot and that’s exactly what he’s going to do to Lesnar at Summerslam. Lesnar’s greatest weakness is trusting Paul Heyman which is what Punk did for so many years. Paul did help Punk get to the WWE but it was all for himself.

Heyman knew that Punk was going to be successful so he put a stamp of approval on Punk to look like he did something. Paul always wanted Punk vs. Lesnar but he wanted to be in both corners. At Summerslam, Punk is going to take everything Heyman has ever wanted and then he’s going to kick Lesnar in the face over and over until there’s nothing left of him. Then there’s only going to be Heyman left……and here’s Fandango. He dances to the ring but the beating is on before anything can be said. Punk puts Fandango to sleep and is left alone in the ring.

1-800-Fella ad. It’s amusing but can we please give Sheamus something interesting to do? The guy is talented and over but he gets these horrible feuds where he’s treated like he’s invincible which doesn’t do anything for anyone.

Prime Time Players/Wade Barrett vs. Mark Henry/Usos

So Henry is a face again just a month after they told us how horrible he was for lying about his retirement. Such is life in wrestling. Jey cranks on Darren’s arm to start before it’s off to Jimmy for some right hands. Titus breaks up the offense with a cheap shot and it’s off to Barrett for some forearms in the corner.

The announcers keep us up to date with Royal Family news because that’s what people watch wrestling to hear. Titus comes in for a chinlock followed by a fall away slam to send Jimmy flying. The Uso comes back with a kick to the head and it’s hot tag to Henry. Everything breaks down and the World’s Strongest Slam ends Titus at 3:29.

Rating: D+. Quick tag team formula here with Henry playing the role of house cleaner perfectly. Shield vs. Henry/Usos should be good stuff if they’re given enough time on Monday but something tells me they’ll have to rush through everything which brings things down. On an unrelated note, why Darren Young still has a job eludes me.

Alberto comes in to see Vickie and suggests Vickie should let him pick his opponent for Summerslam. Vickie gives him a week to think about it but RVD, Alberto’s opponent tonight, comes in to offer himself as an opponent.

Sandow is looking for the briefcase and finds Sin Cara, who doesn’t look to be nearly as muscular as I remember him being. Real or imposter, Cara can’t help Damien and the search continues.

Rob Van Dam vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title. RVD fires off right hands to start but Del Rio bails to the floor to break the momentum. He stays on the floor for a long time as Cole makes fun of JBL’s title reign. “You held the title for a very long time without ever winning a match.” JBL: “Watch it.” Back in and RVD pounds away in the corner but the referee pulls him back with Del Rio shouting NO MAS. Rob goes after him again but gets caught by a superkick for the pin at 2:11. Of that 2:11, they made contact for maybe 40 seconds.

Sandow is still looking for the case. He comes up on Mark Henry who steps aside to reveal Booker T. Booker is a big man but Henry literally blocked him out. Neither will say where Cody is but they agree he’s a thief. Sandow says Booker used to be GM and Henry has to talk Mr. T. down.

Here’s AJ for the state of her mind address. Before she gets started we get a clip of Langston nearly kissing her last week. AJ says she’s here to clear the air: she isn’t just a nudge away from a breakdown because of the issues with Kaitlyn and Dolph, although she goes on for a good while about how horrible Ziggler is. She’s just fine because she’s the Divas Champion and will be forever. Just to show you how fine she is, here are the keys to Ziggler’s house. She planned to use them to break in and burn the place down but here’s Ziggler to interrupt her.

Dolph says he’s passed out thousands of those keys before and the locks have been changed a few times since her. AJ smiles and has Langston pull out Dolph’s suitcase. Ziggler says everything in the ring right now is replaceable so AJ pulls out Dolph’s wallet. She has a pair of scissors for some reason but Ziggler says a day at the DMV is a picnic compared to any time with AJ.

She cuts up his passport but Dolph says there’s a passport agency two blocks from his house and the girl there owes him a favor because of something that isn’t PG. AJ gets angrier and angrier and throws out Ziggler’s cash. There goes the Visa as the fans tell AJ she’s a psycho. AJ insists she’s fine and starts throwing around Dolph’s clothes, only to break down when she sees one of her old shirts.

Dolph keeps shrugging this off as AJ freaks out more and more. She goes to the floor and slaps the apron, only to walk into a spear from Kaitlyn. Langston goes to check on her and gets a Fameasser on the floor. This was different but I liked it for the most part. Ziggler shrugging off all the losses made sense given how replaceable all that stuff was.

Raw ReBound talks about Bryan’s gauntlet match and Cena making the save post match.

Wyatt Family vs. Tons of Funk

Bray is in the rocking chair so this is Luke Harper/Erick Rowan doing the work. Harper goes right after Tensai to start but everything quickly breaks down. Brodus is sent to the floor so Rowan can drag Tensai across the ring by the chin. Harper hits his discus lariat on Tensai and a splash from Rowan is good for the pin at 1:03.

Post match Bray says this isn’t Tensai’s fault and hits Sister Abigail (spinning downward spiral). Bray says he suspects Kane will be looking for him but he’s not too hard to find. If you need him, he’ll be right here with all his friends. They’ve been waiting for Kane and always have been. Still good stuff.

Sandow comes in to see Vickie but she doesn’t know about the case. She says give it time but Sandow wants it back tonight and storms off.

Christian vs. Jack Swagger

Before the match, Colter asks if we’re in Texas or north Mexico. The border agent didn’t bother to check Colter’s car though because Colter is a Real American. Swagger takes him to the mat and does push-ups on Christian’s back while shouting WE THE PEOPLE. Back up and Christian slaps him in the face before firing off right hands in the corner. Christian backdrops him to the floor and follows up with a pretty lame plancha. Back in and Swagger runs the ropes for a belly to belly and we go to a break.

Back with Christian hitting a middle rope missile dropkick and an uppercut to the jaw. A high cross misses Swagger but the gutwrench powerbomb is countered into a failed Killswitch bid. Another powerbomb attempt is countered into the reverse DDT for two but Swagger comes back with a kind of belly to belly for two. The Vader Bomb hits knees and Christian’s sunset flip out of the corner gets two. Swagger misses a charge into the post and the Killswitch is good for the pin at 4:46 shown of 7:46.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here. Swagger has wrestled the same match for years now and this was about the same thing you would have expected from him. Christian was his usual smooth self out there but there’s nothing new to see here at all. It wasn’t a bad match or anything but it just came and went.

Before Christian can leave, here’s an irate Sandow to continue the search for his briefcase. As soon as the authorities get here, there’s going to be a warrant issued for Cody’s arrest. Vickie needs to fire Cody for being a thief but before Sandow can keep ranting, Cody pops up on screen with the case. He’s not in the arena but rather in front of the Gulf of Mexico. If Sandow wants his case back, he can come get it.

Damien storms out and goes outside as we take a break. Sandow goes after Cody but Rhodes threatens to throw the case in the water. Sandow keeps coming but Cody gets ready to throw it. Damien admits that Cody is smarter and carried the Scholars. He even has better facial hair. Cody says Damien has earned this and throws the case in the water. Damien shrieks and stops dead as Cody leaves. Damien can’t swim so he can’t go after the case, but he dives in anyway. He can’t get to it and comes back to land where he cries to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Well that was different. I’ll give them points for focusing on something different to build the show around, but at the end of the day there’s so little interest in Sandow or the title he can cash in on that it’s hard to get excited. Cody vs. Sandow should be a fun feud but it’s not going anywhere unless Cody wins the case or Del Rio drops the title.

The rest of the show was entertaining and it was very nice to see the focus off the traditional stuff. Using Smackdown to develop these other characters and stories is a great use of the time and far more interesting than a Raw supplement. Good stuff this week and a different kind of show.

Results

Randy Orton b. Damien Sandow – RKO

Mark Henry/Usos b. Prime Time Players/Wade Barrett – World’s Strongest Slam to O’Neil

Alberto Del Rio b. Rob Van Dam – Superkick

Wyatt Family b. Tons of Funk – Splash to Tensai

Christian b. Jack Swagger – Killswitch

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