ICW No Holds Barred Volume 11: Then And Now: Why Did They Have To Go There?

ICW No Holds Barred Volume 11: Then And Now
Date: April 8, 2021
Location: 81Bay Brewing Company, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: The Struggles, Ron Niemi

This is another promotion where I don’t know anything about it coming in but this seems to be a more violent promotion, which is not likely to be in my wheelhouse. I’m not sure what to expect coming in and I’m not sure about who all is on the card. Hopefully it is going to be a bit better than what I’m picturing so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, which advertises No DQ, No Submissions and No Rules. Oh geez please don’t be a deathmatch promotion. Why am I doing this to myself again?

The ring announcer welcomes us to the show….and the ropes are chains.

Tony Deppen vs. Daniel Garcia

They circle each other for a bit to start until Deppen goes for the leg. That means a trip to the mat with both of them trying to tie up the legs. Deppen gets the legs crossed and cranks on Garcia’s arms at the same time. With that broken up, Garcia sends him to the floor for a breather. Back in and they go to the mat for more grappling with Garcia getting in some elbows to the back of the head.

Deppen slips out of that and bites Garcia’s bare toes, which has Garcia bailing underneath the ropes in a smart move. It’s Deppen getting on top for a slap off on the mat until some heavy forearms rock Garcia. You don’t do that to him though as he grabs a German suplex and starts stomping away rather fiercely. Something like a Crossface goes on, followed by a bodyscissors over the chain to make it worse.

Back up and they slap it out until Deppen is thrown into the chains for two. What looks like a Gotch style piledriver is broken up though and Deppen stomps on the bare feet. Garcia doesn’t mind and stomps on Deppen’s head but Deppen kicks him low. A running knee to the head finishes Garcia at 8:33.

Rating: C. Not much to see here and it did feel a bit more like a fight instead of a match. Deppen has come a long way in the last year or so and that is a very good thing. At the same time, Garcia has popped up a few times over this weekend and I haven’t seen much about him to get my excited. Not awful here, but it was a fine way to start off the show.

Here’s a guy named Scoot Andrews, who is billed as the Black Nature Boy. Andrews lists off all of his credentials on the independent circuit and…..I think he is here to introduce Lee Moriarty. Or maybe to find someone to beat him. The audio isn’t exactly the best around here.

Lee Moriarty vs. Steve Madison

Moriarty’s IWTV Title isn’t on the line. Madison, the hometown boy, comes out to Hearts On Fire from Rocky IV so we have a favorite. They go to the grappling to start with Moriarty working on the arm but getting taken down into a headlock. That goes into an early standoff and it’s Madison taking him down by the arm again. Moriarty flips out again and they stop to stare at each other again. More mat grappling goes to Madison but Moriarty is back up with an armdrag into an armbar.

Madison gets smart by snapping Moriarty’s throat across the chain and the chinlock goes on. That’s broken up and Moriarty slides over to hit a double stomp to the throat. Madison is right back up with a shot of his own and the Sharpshooter goes on. Moriarty turns that back around and grabs Madison’s fingers for a little snap. A Russian legsweep gives Moriarty two but Madison is right back with a backdrop driver. Moriarty enziguris him and hits a suplex into a Downward Spiral (that’s a new one but it worked) for the pin at 7:46.

Rating: C+. Moriarty continues to impress over the weekend and that has been very nice to see. This was another good wrestling match between two guys who were completely able technicians. Madison isn’t someone I’ve seen before (and commentary said he doesn’t wrestle often) but he seemed like a steady hand. Good match here, and that is becoming the norm for Moriarty.

Post match Andrews comes in to show respect….and then pulls Moriarty into a Fire Thunder Driver. Andrews drops the IWTV Title onto Moriarty’s chest, which commentary thinks means a seed has been planted.

So far so good at thirty minutes in.

We look at the history between Justin Kyle and Bruce Santee. They had some Super Fights, which seem to be them punching each other quite a bit. The first two fights were split so I think you know where this is going.

Justin Kyle vs. Bruce Santee

Good luck on telling them apart as they’re both big bald biker looking guys. Kyle starts swinging to drive him into the corner early but Bruce shoves him away, only to come up favoring his wrist. More rights and lefts have Bruce down on his knee but a Superman Punch is countered into something like a World’s Strongest Slam (not that this is a wrestling match in any way).

They fight on the mat for a bit before getting back up, where a right hand sends Santee outside. Santee beats up the chairs so Kyle hits a BIG dive to take him down. Chair shots to the back rock Santee again and Kyle is rather fired up. Back in and Santee hammers away but Kyle kicks him back, meaning it’s time for the big slugout in the middle. Kyle rocks him with a right hand so Santee says bring it so Kyle kicks him in the head for the knockout at 4:40.

Rating: B. I have no idea what to call this as a wrestling match but that isn’t what they were going for here. This was about two big bruisers beating each other down and that’s what we got here. I’ve never heard of either guy but it makes sense to have them do something like this. Good, fun brawl here and exactly as advertised.

Post match Santee grabs the mic and seems to show respect. Then he a drink.

The ring announcer tells the fans to stay away from the ring. I think.

Jon Davis vs. Dominic Garrini

Garrini has Kevin Ku with him. They go straight to the slugging it out in the middle with Garrini needing a second off some chops tot he bare chest. After about two minutes of chopping, Garrini kicks him in the chest instead so Davis does some of his own. Garrini finally starts a series of strikes to take over but Davis snaps off a suplex to send him flying

Some shots to the face and a few slams give Davis two but Garrini snaps off some strikes to the chest. A German suplex sends Davis flying and a running knee gets two. Back up and they trade elbows to the face until Davis STOs him down. The Shining Wizard gives Davis two and a powerbomb gives Garrini the same. Davis is right back with a heck of a lariat into a piledriver for the pin at 8:35.

Rating: C. This took some time to get going and they spent a lot of time hitting each other rather hard, which is about as interesting as something like this is going to be. Both of these guys have been around quite a bit over the weekend and they have gotten a bit of an upgrade. I’ve only seen Garrini from MLW and mainly in a tag team, while Davis has not been around for a bit but is making a nice showing for himself as the grumpy power guy.

Brandon Kirk vs. Danny Demanto

There are a bunch of weapons around the ring so here we go. Brandon has Kasey Kirk with him and they do not seem to be popular. Demanto seems to be more of a hit with the fans, though he might be a bit loopy. He also has a rather energetic guy named Mittens in his corner, because of course he does.

Kasey handles Brandon’s (her husband) introduction and the fans REALLY do not like her. Granted I can barely understand her but that seems to be the right conclusion. Demanto on the other hand is the “Tom Brady Of Banging Your Lady”, which is about as clever of a nickname as I’ve heard in the last four minutes. Kirk jumps him before the bell for two but Demanto reverses a whip to send Kirk outside. A bunch of chair shots have Kirk staggering around the ring and Demanto puts him on a table.

That means a top rope elbow to drive him through and they’re both down at ringside. Demanto hits him in the ribs and back with a baseball bat (after not being able to break it over his knee) and there’s a hard whip through a bunch of chairs. Now it’s time to get extra violent as Demanto takes some kind of spiked plate and elbows it into Kirk’s head, where it gets stuck.

That opens up the head so let’s pour some hot sauce in there for a bonus. Back in and it’s time to pour in some salt and lemons to go with the hot sauce. Demanto picks up a kendo stick but has to stop and swing at Kasey, allowing Brandon to get in a thumb tack wiffle bat shot. Another spike plate goes into Demanto’s head for a change and Kirk puts a keg between his legs.

With Demanto stuck, Kirk crushes said keg with a baseball bat for two. Both of them escape fireman’s carries until Kirk sends him over the top and through a table with what looks to be a bunch of cut open cans stuck to the top. We now pause because THAT WAS REALLY STUPID and Demanto can’t get up. Kirk helps him as well so Demanto hits him in the face, with commentary praising Demanto for being a piece of garbage. Kirk is laid on a door and a powerbomb/piledriver sends Kasey through Kirk through the door.

Instead of covering, Demanto flips off the camera as Kirk pulls himself back in. Demanto picks up a baseball bad with an empty water cooler container on the end and here’s Mittens to hold Kirk. The big shot hits Mittens by mistake though and Kirk’s lariat gets two. They fight over a suplex until Kirk grabs a small package for two. It’s time to slap it out from their knees but Kasey hits Demanto with….something to give Kirk the pin at 14:24.

Rating: D. This started off fun with Demanto having a bunch of charisma but then went rather weird with Demanto almost having a heel turn in the middle. The Kirks seem like a pretty despicable team and the fans really didn’t like them, but it was still not much to see with all of the hardcore and violence. More hardcore nonsense, but you had to know something like that was coming around here.

Post match Demanto grabs the mic and says he lost everything two years ago. He knows that he can always press the restart button and burn this place to the ground. So he wants everyone here who has ever been told no or who has lost someone to put up a middle finger. We get the ICDUB chant and he seems happy about something. Upon further investigation, Demanto is the owner of the company. That makes….a bit more sense I guess.

The ring announcer says they don’t have any hot food here so if you’re hungry, you’ll have to Door Dash it. Ok then.

Calvin Tankman vs. Dan Maff

These guys are rather large. They go nose to nose to start with Tankman talking trash. The chop off fires both of them up even more until Tankman knocks him outside. Tankman follows him out and gets sent through some chairs for the big crash. That’s fine with Tankman, who is right back to send Maff through some chairs as well. A chair to the back, as opposed to a back to the chair, keeps Maff in trouble, but another one just wakes him up.

Maff kicks him away and it’s time to set up a door. They hammer away at each other’s heads until they stagger around to opposite sides of the ring. Back in (for once) and they forearm it out with Tankman getting the better of things. A lariat is countered into a half and half suplex to drop Tankman though and a backsplash connects. Maff hits a lariat into a backbreaker but Tankman is back with a lariat of his own for a close two. It’s time to bring in a door and a couple of chairs to bridge it over, which can never go well.

A spinebuster puts Maff through the door for two more so Tankman needs some more chairs. Some fans throw one in, earning a warning from the ring announcer (“Please hand the chairs to the competitors.” That isn’t something you hear in your usual matches and that might be a good thing.). A bunch of chairs are stacked up and a powerslam onto said pile gets two on Maff.

With Maff out on the floor, Tankman hits a heck of a suicide dive to send him through another door for another two. Maff is back up and catches Tankman on top, only to get knocked back down. Tankman’s frog splash onto Maff onto the chairs…..gets two, as this has gone from beyond ridiculous to completely stupid. Maff slips out of a superplex attempt and hits something resembling a Cheeky Nandos kick. The Burning Hammer in the vicinity of the chairs finishes Tankman at 20:13.

Rating: D. Nope. This was a match that started off well as a good battle of the big men but then went WAY too far, to the point where it was so ridiculous. They had a bunch of big spots and the kickouts stopped being interesting and started being a joke about how the thing was never going to end. I was getting annoyed at this one and that should not be the case with a match that started off fun. They went about twice as long as they should have and it was a big miss as a result.

Post match they stare at each other and trade more chops as a show of respect. That might make up for a bit of the match. Tankman leaves and here’s Bruce Santee, in a “F*CK JOE BIDEN” shirt, to yell at Maff before their match in an upcoming one night tournament.

Weapons are loaded into the ring for the next match. Oh boy here we go.

The ring announcer requests that fans keep their masks up.

Jake Crist vs. Nolan Edward

This is Crist’s debut with the company and he kicks Nolan outside at the bell, setting up a suicide dive in the first seven seconds. They move some chairs around with Edward managing to kick him in the face and throw some chairs inside. Back in and Crist scores with a high crossbody and some kicks to the face get two. Edward is back with something like a McGillicutter into a Gory Stretch.

Crist is sent face first into one of the chains but kicks him in the ribs to break up a Bionic Elbow. A swinging belly to back fisherman’s suplex sends Crist through a door for two but he’s right back with a Death Valley Driver through another door for another two. Crist gets two off a spinning brainbuster so Nolan is back with a snapmare into some fast knee drops. A Stunner drops Nolan again and this time Crist pelts a chair at his face. Then he does it two more times for a bonus and Nolan is down again.

Crist puts him on top for a superplex onto a chair so it’s time to put a barbed wire board over a pair of chairs. Nolan gets caught on top and there’s a super cutter through the barbed wire board for two (and a very limited reaction). Another barbed wire board is loaded up over the chairs and, after pelting a chair at Nolan’s head, Crist….gets butterfly suplexed through the board instead, giving Nolan the pin at 12:03.

Rating: C-. This is one of the more frustrating shows in a long time as it’s the kind of thing that should make me mad but they’re keeping the violence at just a low enough level to keep the anger levels down with it. I’ve seen Nolan twice this weekend and haven’t been interested, though Crist is someone who can do some good things. He’s better with his brother, but his brother is kind of horrible outside of the ring and should have been dropped.

A lot of respect is shown post match.

After an ad break, Edward is still in the ring and has a seat while holding the microphone. Edward has been told that there is no such thing as a draw in wrestling anymore. That means a challenge to…..Sami Callihan. This would have been a bit better if the fans hadn’t chanted Edward’s nickname: No Flinch.

More weapons are loaded in for the main event, with the ring announcer again telling fans to get their masks up.

Neil Diamond Cutter/The Rejects vs. Carnage Crew/???

The Rejects (John Wayne Murdoch/Reed Bentley) and the Crew (DeVito/Loc) are….not important enough to individually name to start, meaning the video’s graphic has to help me out. The brawl is on at ringside without the Crew’s partner being out here yet. I also don’t think there was a bell but I can’t imagine it matters. Cutter hits Loc in the head and Murdoch bites him as commentary mentions the Crew’s partner (who I’ll save for a bit of a surprise). Cutter gets sent through a board in the corner and Loc hits a basement clothesline for two.

The brawling continues around ringside, including Loc stapling a dollar to Cutter’s tongue. Bentley puts DeVito through a door and we get a parade of weapons shows with no particular rhyme or reason. Loc takes Murdoch inside for a belly to back suplex and Bentley’s swinging Russian legsweep gets two on Cutter. Something like a Magic Killer gets two on Loc…..and we’ve got NEW JACK as the partner. The trashcan full of weapons goes into the ring, including the guitar over Cutter’s head to give DeVito the pin at 6:35.

Rating: D. As you might have guessed, this wasn’t about the wrestling or anything outside of the brawling as we waited on New Jack as the big special moment. Granted it might have been better had he been a mystery partner, but knowing who it is going to be and having then showing up in the end works as well. This was more of the hardcore match I was expecting but they kept it short so it’s hard to get overly annoyed. Totally not my thing, but you had to have a match like this from a promotion called NO HOLDS BARRED.

Celebrating ensues post match, with New Jack being about six inches taller than DeVito and Loc. The Rejects grab the mic and says this was about the violence as the Rejects faced the Carnage Crew for the first time ever. Bentley challenges them to a two on two match in the future but New Jack answers, saying he came here from North Carolina. I think he says he has been drinking all day, so you censored censored censoreds and various other censoring. The Crew accepts the challenge and New Jack throws a trashcan at the Rejects. New Jack’s theme music ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show started off well enough and was even a nice surprise to get things going, but then it descended down into a lot more of what I was expecting. What surprised me here was that it never got all the way down into where some of these shows tend to go. There was even some good wrestling earlier in the show and that is always going to help things. The show certainly isn’t great and there isn’t much on it worth seeing, but I was expecting a deathmatch nightmare and got a fairly average show with some hardcore thrown in near the end. If that’s as bad as it gets, I can live with this.

 

 

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Ring of Honor TV – March 25, 2020: And They’re Out

IMG Credit: Ring Of Honor Wrestling

Ring of Honor
Date: March 25, 2020
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Caprice Coleman, Ian Riccaboni
Host: Quinn McKay

From what I can tell, this seems to be the final weekly show that will feature new material. This is the start of a new event but for some reason it looks like the last episode they were able to produce. Fair enough as you never know how screwy things could have gotten thanks to everything going nuts. Things have been a bit better under the Scurll regime so hopefully they can go into hiatus on a high note. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with a quick video on 2 Guys 1 Tag.

Quinn runs down the show.

Dan Maff/Jeff Cobb vs. Briscoes

Mark and Jeff lock up to start with Mark’s headlock trying to cut off the power. A dropkick sends Mark into the corner so it’s off to Maff. That earns him a forearm to the face and Jay comes in for the big staredown. Maff gets the better of it and forearms away in the corner….as we cut to a shot of commentary for some reason. A running clothesline in the corner rocks Jay but he’s right back to Mark in a hurry. The Briscoes get smart and it’s a distraction to set up the running clothesline to put Cobb down.

Back from a break with Mark getting suplexed and clotheslined, followed by a backsplash to Jay. The big shots to the back have Jay in trouble in the corner and a slam gets two. Jay finally slams Cobb down and the tag brings in Mark for another slugout. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Mark uses a chair for a launchpad to the floor. Jay’s running flip dive (no chair) takes Cobb out and it’s time to head back inside.

Jay walks into a spinning belly to back suplex and Maff jumps off Cobb’s back for a flipping splash onto Jay for two. There’s a Cheeky Nandos kick to Jay but Mark breaks up the Burning Hammer. A running kick into a dragon suplex (cool) drops Maff but Cobb clotheslines Jay to put everyone down. Back up and a pop up cutter (basically a 3D with a toss instead of a flapjack) drops Jay for two with Mark having to make a last second save. Tour of the Islands is broken up and it’s a Jay Driller into the Froggy Bow for the pin at 16:06.

Rating: B. These guys beat the heck out of each other and that’s what you want out of these matches. I was skeptical about having Maff around here but he’s been a pretty awesome big man, especially when you pair him with Cobb. The Briscoes have been doing their best work in years too, which is hard to do when they have been so good for so long.

Rey Horus vs. Alex Shelley

They fight over arm control to start before running the ropes with Shelley grabbing a spinning rollup for two. After a quick standoff, Horus grabs an armdrag into an armbar to slow things down. A dropkick puts Shelley on the floor but he ducks a baseball slide and chops away. That’s followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on the floor can keep Horus down They chop it out again with Shelley getting the better of things before heading back inside. There’s a discus forearm to Horus and we take a break.

Back with a rather confident Shelley chopping away and grabbing the Billy Goat’s Curse. With that going nowhere, it’s off to a leglock to keep Horus down. A running clothesline drops Horus a second time but he dropkicks Shelley out of the air. Another dropkick puts Shelley on the apron, meaning the big running flip dive can take him down again. Back in and Horus grabs a Spanish Fly for two, plus an overhead belly to belly into the corner for the same. The 450 misses though and it’s a standing Sliced Bread #2 for two on Horus. Shell Shock gets two more so it’s the Motor City Stretch to make Horus tap at 15:01.

Rating: C+. Horus is an awesome high flier and Shelley is someone who can work with almost everyone but, as usual, most of his matches feel very scripted. I’m not sure what it is about them but there’s something about Shelley’s matches that keep me from getting into them. It’s still good, but it’s not great and that’s almost always the case for Shelley.

McKay talks about the awesomeness of the 18th Anniversary Show and Past vs. Present. Supercard of Honor is going to be even better though and we run down the card. They couldn’t edit that out??? And dang it’s not a bad card either.

Tag Team Titles: 2 Guys 1 Tag vs. Jonathan Gresham/Jay Lethal

Gresham and Lethal are defending and jump Young and Woods before the bell. It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Lethal hitting four straight suicide dives. He doesn’t keep Woods down well enough though and it’s an overhead belly to belly to finally cut off the dives. Now we get the bell so Lethal can stomp away at Young in the corner. Back from a break with Gresham working on Young’s knee and Lethal coming in to do the same.

A strut looks to set up the Figure Four but, you know, the strut, lets Young kick Lethal away. Woods comes in for some suplexes and a TKO onto the knee gets two on Lethal. Gresham gets kneed out of the air but the Lethal Combination drops Woods for two more. A Backstabber sets up a powerbomb onto the knees with Lethal having to make a save. We take another break and come back with Lethal powerbombing Young down to set up a Figure Four (as we go back to the knee, as we should).

Woods finally gets back up and powerbombs Gresham onto Lethal for the save. Gresham gets clotheslined down and Young dive onto Lethal. The Doctor Bomb sets up the ankle lock on Gresham but a rope is grabbed. Young is back in but Misery is broken up in a hurry. Gresham moonsaults onto Young and dives onto Woods, leaving Lethal to hit the Lethal Injection. A shooting star press hits Young….for two? Dang I would have bet on that one. Woods grabs a small package but Lethal turns it over so Gresham can get the pin to retain at 12:08.

Rating: B. Another good tag match here as Woods and Young are somehow a rather solid face team. Lethal and Gresham are on fire though and they could hold those titles for a long time going forward. The tag matches have been ROH’s strong suit for a long time now and this was another worthwhile one.

Overall Rating: B+. And alas that’s how they go away for the time being. The tag matches were very good and the singles match was perfectly watchable. Throw in the sad/chuckle inducing announcement about the non-existent shows and I had a good time with this one. Hopefully they can keep this stuff going when they get back, but you never can tell with something like this. Really good show to go out on though.

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Ring of Honor TV – March 18, 2020: That’s The Right Direction

IMG Credit: Ring of Honor Wrestling

Ring of Honor
Date: March 18, 2020
Location: UMBC Events Center, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Caprice Coleman, Ian Riccaboni
Host: Quinn McKay

This has to be the last show from Baltimore right? If my math is correct, they should have seven or eight weeks of television from their last two shows, but after that it’s going to be interesting in a hurry. These shows have been good so far and hopefully the trend continues this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with a recap of Jay Lethal and Jonathan Gresham winning the Tag Team Titles in a great match at Final Battle.

Battle Royal

Beer City Bruiser, Brawler Milonas, Tracy Williams, Cheeseburger, Josh Woods, Brian Johnson, PJ Black, Silas Young, Blue Meanie, Rhett Titus, Maria Manic, Gangrel, Delirious, Eli Isom, Kenny King, Dragon Lee, Crowbar, Dak Draper, Danhausen, Leon St. Giovanni

The winner gets a future World Title shot and I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a regular battle royal in ROH. Gangrel blows the liquid in King’s face during entrances and most of the people get in at the bell to start fast. We take a break at the ten second mark and come back, seemingly with nothing having changed, meaning Delirious is running around ringside and King is blindly throwing punches on the floor.

Gangrel suplexes Danhausen and Impales Johnson as I’m trying to wonder if they’re really considering him a big deal. Draper fights off another Impaler and backdrops Gangrel out to a chorus of booing. LSG goes up top to dive at Draper, who throws him out with ease. Draper backdrops out Isom and Crowbar with ease so, say it with me, Cheeseburger eliminates Draper a few seconds later.

With that required annoyance out of the way, the Bouncers start wrecking a lot of people. Meanie tries to get the Bouncers to dance….and they actually do it, only to have Johnson throw Meanie out. As Amy Rose comes out to get King to the back, the Bouncers beat up Johnson and toss him….only to the apron as PJ Black makes a save. As a result, Johnson throws Black out in a good old heel double crossing. Manic grabs Johnson low and gorilla presses him out as we take another break.

Back again with Maria throwing the Bouncers out at the same time but stopping to hug Danhausen. Young and Maria have a staredown with Silas dropping her but not quite being able to eliminate her. Cue Bully Ray to pull Maria out, allowing Young to celebrate. Ray chairs her in the back and adds a powerbomb through a table (apparently giving her a concussion).

Back in and Danhausen gives Delirious some teeth but then throws them at Delirious, setting up the elimination. Danhausen German suplexes Young but gets tossed out anyway, allowing Cheeseburger to hit a springboard crossbody. Young rolls through and they go to the apron but Woods makes the save. A clothesline eliminates Cheeseburger and we’re down to Williams, Lee, Young and Woods. Young puts Williams on the top so Tracy manages a DDT onto the top turnbuckle.

Woods jumps in front of a spinning forearm so Williams blasts him instead, leaving Young to return the save. Williams gets double teamed in the corner with a slingshot elbow, setting up the easy elimination. Young and Woods stomp Lee down in the corner but Lee sends Young to the apron. Woods kicks him out by mistake and gets tossed, only to have Kenny King run in. Lee survives an elimination attempt, unmasks as Flip Gordon, and dumps King for the win at 20:30.

Rating: C. This was an entertaining enough battle royal with a surprise ending. Gordon is a safe bet for a future title shot as he’ll get in a good match and there’s always the chance he might pull off an upset. There were enough stories going on in here and they advanced some stuff, so well done with the whole thing, especially for a battle royal.

Post break, Gordon says he’s coming for the title at Supercard of Honor.

Clips of Session Moth Martina beating Sumie Sakai in what looked like a comedy match. Martina likes to dance and drink, meaning her finishing move is called the Jager Bomb.

Post break Quinn asks Sumie for a comment but she shoves Quinn against a wall and tells her to shut up.

Dan Maff/Jeff Cobb vs. Jay Lethal/Jonathan Gresham

Non-title but if Maff and Cobb win, they’re guaranteed a title shot. The handshake offers are slapped away so it’s Cobb and Gresham starting things off. Gresham can’t quite wrestle him down as Cobb muscles him up for a throw into the corner. Back from an early break with Maff chopping Lethal and then slapping him in the face for a bonus. The Pounce sends Lethal outside and the champs need a breather.

Back in and Maff suplexes both of them before it’s Cobb coming in for a dropkick. The standing moonsault gets two on Lethal and Cobb pounds him down in the corner. Gresham comes in and goes after Cobb’s knee though as the champs take over for the first time. Lethal gets kicked into the corner for the hot tag to Maff but the referee doesn’t see it, sending Maff into a frenzy in the corner. Cobb suplexes the heck out of Gresham and now Maff can come in to run Lethal over.

We come back from another break with Maff hitting a Cannonball in the corner. The spinning belly to back from Cobb sets up an elevated backsplash from Maff to crush Lethal again. Gresham makes the save with an enziguri and Lethal cutters Cobb for two. Maff gets knocked to the floor so Gresham dives onto him with a sleeper, leaving Lethal to Figure Four Cobb.

Maff, with Gresham on his back, climbs back in but falls just short of a save. He gets up again and finally Attitude Adjusts Gresham onto Lethal for the big break. Everyone is down again until Maff spears Lethal, setting up the Oklahoma Stampede to Gresham. Lethal kicks Cobb to the floor and Gresham adds a suicide dive, only to have Maff hit a Burning Hammer on Lethal for the pin at 13:05.

Rating: B-. The tag matches have been rather good around here as of late and while this wasn’t quite up to the Briscoes vs. Mexiblood, it was a rather good power vs. technical match. There was even a nice twist of the power guys being the faces for a change and that’s not the kind of match you often see around here. Good enough match here though and the rematch will likely take place at a pay per view, whenever that takes place.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this one well enough as the battle royal was a nice change of pace from the usual ROH formula. Things are starting to get a little better around here under Marty Scurll and hopefully we can get to another level in the near enough future. I’m not sure when that is going to be, but at least they seem to have something better here. It’s a heck of a lot better than what they were doing for years though and that’s a good sign.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Ring of Honor TV – February 19, 2020: The Standard Operating Procedure

IMG Credit: Ring of Honor Wrestling

Ring of Honor
Date: February 19, 2020
Location: Cabarrus Arena, Concord, North Carolina
Commentators: Caprice Coleman, Ian Riccaboni
Hosts: Ian Riccaboni, Quinn McKay

For the first time in a good while, there are a few interesting things going on around here and that means we might be going somewhere. Granted I’ve had that false hope before and I’m almost scared to imagine how much worse it could get. Hopefully we get more of the good and less of the bad though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look at Josh Woods/Silas Young beating the Briscoes to become the new #1 contenders to the Tag Team Titles in a good match.

Clips of Alex Zayne winning his debut match against Bandido.

Dalton Castle gives Joe Hendry advice during his photo shoot, involving roller blading and eating pizza that is too hot. Or maybe he’s a mean tree! I could listen to Castle’s random words for days.

Come to house shows!

Buy merch!

We look at Sumie Sakai turning heel. Yeah I still don’t care about her.

Clips of Sakai vs. Nicole Savoy.

Brian Zane’s Top 5 of the week looks at best factions, with Generation Next at the top of the list. That’s one of those really obvious ones and that’s ok.

Lifeblood vs. Vincent/Bateman

Vincent and Bateman jump them from behind before the bell but Lifeblood uses the power of good wrestling to save themselves. Bateman gets caught in the corner and a catapult sends him into an atomic drop. It’s off to Vincent who can’t hit a chokeslam but can get taken down with a middle rope dropkick. An elbow sends Williams to the floor, where he has to beat up the clown named Chuckles. That earns him a cutter from Bateman though and we take a break.

Back with Williams fighting out of the corner but getting rolled right back into said corner to keep him in trouble. Sliced Bread is broken up and it’s a hot tag to bring in Haskins for the fast paced house cleaning. Haskins clears the ring and kicks Bateman off the apron, followed by the suicide dive to Vincent. Back in and Haskins gets two off a clothesline to Vincent but everything breaks down. Williams piledrives Vincent into a Sharpshooter but Chuckles comes in with a block of wood for the DQ at 9:14.

Rating: C. Lifeblood continues to be entertaining and seems to be working as hard as they can ever time, but I’m not sure how much they can do at this level. Then you have Vincent and Bateman, who are already more interesting than almost everything the Kingdom ever did. They’re still nothing all that great, but it was the right call to not have them take a clean loss here.

Post match Vincent and Bateman go after Haskins’ leg but Williams chases them off with a chair.

Bouncers/2 Guys 1 Tag vs. Jeff Cobb/Dan Maff/Jay Lethal/Jonathan Gresham

So yeah, Woods and Young are just faces now. I’m not sure I’m good with that but sure why not. Gresham bails from the threat of Young’s wristlock to start before remembering that he’s Jonathan Gresham and therefore can easily take Young down. A headscissors freaks Gresham out and the staredowns continue. Gresham monkey flips him out of the corner but they keep their hands locked and it’s a monkey flip off.

Some rollups give Young some twos as they remember other people are involved in this match. That means Woods coming in to easily take Gresham down so it’s off to the floor for a breather. Woods tells Lethal to come in and easily takes him down in a hurry. Lethal gets run over with a few shoulders but manages the hiptoss into the basement dropkick. That means it’s off to the Bruiser vs. Lethal, with the former promising to punch him in the mouth. The no tooth bite and the promised right hand put Lethal down so it’s off to Cobb as we take a break.

Back with Woods suplexing Cobb but getting sent outside for the big beatdown. Lethal comes in and suplexes Woods for two before taking him into the corner for the tag to Gresham. And not that it matters as it’s right back to Lethal for a heck of a whip into the corner. A double suplex drops Woods again but he grabs a suplex of his own to drop Lethal. Gresham dives into a knee to the head and the three of them are all down.

The hot tag brings in Young, who slingshots in with a double stomp to Lethal. Young hits a backbreaker into a clothesline but it’s Maff coming in to chop away at Bruiser. Maff gets to clean house with a spear getting two on Young, setting up Cobb’s standing moonsault onto Woods. Cobb can’t suplex Milonas but he can hit the Tour of the Islands on the Bruiser for the pin at 16:53.

Rating: B-. They did a bunch of stuff in one match but at the same time, how much drama was there in this? Cobb is a nearly unstoppable monster and Lethal is one of the most successful wrestlers ever in this company. I’m supposed to be believe that a glorified comedy team like the Bouncers and eternal midcarder Silas Young were threats to that lineup? Good enough match, but not exactly a shocking result.

Post match Maff and Cobb stare the champs down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was good enough but it took about twenty minutes to finally get to that wrestling. What we got was good but it is pretty clear that there isn’t enough to make this into a regular TV show week to week. It’s basically just clips strung together into something resembling a show, which makes for a pretty standard experience week to week. That doesn’t make for the most thrilling stuff, but at least you get a good match almost every time.

Results

Lifeblood b. Vincent/Bateman via DQ when Chuckles interfered

Jeff Cobb/Dan Maff/Jay Lethal/Jonathan Gresham b. Bouncers/2 Guys 1 Tag – Tour of the Islands to Beer City Bruiser

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Ring Of Honor TV – February 5, 2020: Get Him Some Better Soup

IMG Credit: Ring Of Honor Wrestling

Ring of Honor
Date: February 5, 2020
Location: Center Stage, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Caprice Coleman, Ian Riccaboni
Hosts: Ian Riccaboni, Quinn McKay

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with a recap of last week’s Six Man Tag Team Title change.

Quick preview from the hosts.

Joe Hendry and Dalton Castle have a meeting about how to solve their problems. The solution: win more matches. And get Dalton some better soup.

Master and Machine vs. Dalton Castle/Joe Hendry

Hendry takes Master down with an early wristlock but it’s back up so they both miss some kicks to the head. Master’s hurricanrana works well enough but he has to slip out of a fall away slam to send us to a break. Back with Castle vs. Machine with Castle wrestling him down and scoring with a suplex.

The chinlock doesn’t last long but Machine has to get out of a Bang A Rang attempt. Master puts him down and belly to back suplexes Master into a moonsault. A double stomp into an elbow gets two on Castle but it’s off to Hendry in a hurry. Hendry’s delayed vertical suplex connects for two and it’s already back to Castle for a chinlock. Make that a chinlock from Hendry, followed by a suplex from Castle.

Master gets in a kick to the head though and it’s Machine coming back in to pick up the pace. Castle and Hendry get beaten up, including a spinebuster to Castle and a spear to Hendry. The Skywalker Elbow gets two on Hendry but he’s right back up with a double fall away slam. Everything breaks down and Master is shoved into a Codebreaker, setting up the reverse Sling Blade for the pin at 10:45.

Rating: C+. This worked better than I was expecting as Master and Machine (not Master and Commander as I keep wanting to put) are a rather nice treat that I wasn’t expecting. Castle and Hendry are getting better but it took so long to get there that it doesn’t feel like it’s worth the time.

Video on Brian Johnson not wanting to listen to PJ Black but agreeing to team with him anyway.

Mark Haskins wants to go after the World Title but Tracy Williams doesn’t seem convinced.

Come to these shows!

Rhett Titus vs. Danhausen

Danhausen dances to start and gets taken down into an armbar for his efforts. Titus shrugs off a chokeslam attempt but he makes the mistake of swearing, which is NOT ok with Danhausen! I could go with this guy! He holds up a swear/teeth jar to Titus as we take a break. Back with a running dropkick putting Titus on the floor but a slingshot dive is countered into a northern lights suplex for two.

Titus hits a running boot in the corner and shouts about Kenny King, setting up a reverse over the shoulder backbreaker. A splash misses in the corner though and Danhausen hits a slingshot German suplex. That means he can pour the teeth on Titus’ face so Titus is right back with a dropkick (Ian: “Only Okada gets higher!” Yeah we’ve got the second best dropkick around! If you want to see the best, go watch that other show!”) for the pin at 7:39.

Dan Maff/Jeff Cobb vs. Briscoes vs. Lifeblood

The Bouncers are on commentary and we actually get some handshakes before the bell. Haskins kicks at Cobb’s legs to start before going with the tried and true jump on his back method. That goes as far as you would expect and we take a break. Back with Mark Briscoe slugging away at Cobb before handing it off to Williams for the same. Haskins works on Cobb’s arm with a bunch of stomps but Jay tags himself in to stomp away in the corner.

The Briscoes clothesline Cobb down but Williams tags himself in, much to Tracy’s annoyance. Jay does the same thing and it’s time for the big uppercuts. A slap to Haskins’ face counts as a tag and it’s Mark vs. Mark for the slugout. Cobb uses the distraction to run them over and it’s Maff coming in to clean house. Everything breaks down and we take another break.

Back with Maff sending people to the floor for a big dive. Cobb’s spinning belly to back suplex into Maff’s backsplash gets two on Williams with Haskins making the save. Lifeblood double teams Maff for their own two but it just wakes him up to chop away at everyone. A kick to the leg sets up an ankle lock to Maff with Haskins stomping away at the same time.

The Froggy Bow breaks it up and it’s time for the parade of people hitting each other in the face. Redneck Boogie gets two on Williams but he’s back up with a Death Valley Driver to Mark Briscoe. The Crossface goes on until Jay powerbombs Haskins onto them for the save. The Jay Driller finishes Haskins at 12:34.

Rating: B-. This is where the company excels and they did it again here. These guys had a very fast paced and entertaining match which is all you can ask for out of something like this. Lifeblood having issues could be interesting and Cobb/Maff are the monsters that you need to have around here. The Briscoes are themselves and I wouldn’t be surprised to see them back in the title picture again soon (mainly because they’re never out).

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty good overall here with the action being the focus of the show, which is where the company shines more often than not. They really aren’t great with the storyline stuff around here and other than a few things in the back, there wasn’t a major story in the whole show. It’s what makes things better around here and that was the case here. Not a great show, but far better than some of the stuff they’ve done over the last year.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Ring Of Honor TV – January 8, 2020: The Main Event Is Weird

IMG Credit: Ring of Honor Wrestling

Ring of Honor
Date: January 8, 2020
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Caprice Coleman, Ian Riccaboni
Hosts: Ian Riccaboni, Quinn McKay

We’re onto the Final Ball Fallout shows, meaning I should probably watch Final Battle at some point. At least we get some fresh content this week, but I’m not sure what to expect from everything else going on. Hopefully things pick up a bit in the new year, but I’m not sure I would get my hopes up. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We look at PCO winning the World Title at Final Battle in a big upset.

The announcers recap Final Battle and hype up tonight’s show.

Here’s Villain Enterprises so PCO can get in his first address as the World Champion. The fact that Marty Scurll has yet to win the title but PCO has is mind boggling. Scurll praises PCO for wrestling longer than he has even been alive and finally achieving the destiny. PCO thanks the fans for believing in him but we’re clipped to Rush popping up on screen to say he’s coming for the title. They couldn’t even show the full segment?

Rush has his own friends now, with Kenny King (including Amy Rose) and Dragon Lee, who get their own jerseys as part of La Faction Ingobernable. PC says he isn’t giving the title back because they are Villain Enterprises. This was really flat and just set up a not exactly surprising rematch. Also Kenny King as Rush and Lee’s buddy? Really?

PJ Black and Josh Woods are in the back when Silas Young comes in. Black wants to be a Real Man and suggests that his student could beat Young’s student. Brian Johnson passes by so Young says go train him. The match seems to be made.

Clips of Dragon Lee winning the TV Title.

Dak Draper vs. Shaheem Ali

Kind of a random match. Draper headlocks him to start so Ali slips out and tries a shoulder block. An armdrag takes Draper down and hits a belly to back suplex as we take a break. Back with Draper hitting a delayed gutwrench suplex so the cockiness can get cranked up. Ali chops away and flips out of a belly to back suplex, setting up a release northern lights suplex. There’s a side kick and a running splash in the corner, setting up a running basement dropkick to rock Draper again. A Doctor Bomb gets two on Draper but he winds up on the apron and nails a springboard back elbow. The Magnum KO finishes Ali at 7:24.

Rating: C-. Not too bad here but Draper isn’t exactly the thrilling guy they seem to think he is. The participation ribbon is a nice touch but it’s the problem with the Top Prospect Tournament most years: these guys are billed as brand new names and most of the time they’re starting from scratch. Draper is kind of a hard one to go from brand new to something interesting and it’s a long way to go given his rather basic (not a bad thing) style.

Video on Vincent beating Matt Taven at Final Battle.

We look at the wacky tag match from Unauthorized with a wrestling referee and Ian dropping a top rope elbow. Brian Johnson took the pin and seemed rather humiliated.

PJ Black offers Johnson his support but Johnson respectfully declines. Johnson insists he doesn’t need a manager.

We look at Jay Lethal and Jonathan Gresham cheating to win the Tag Team Titles at Final Battle.

Gresham and Lethal are rather pleased. Lethal is sorry that it took him so long to see that Gresham was right. No one gets punished for what they do around here so he might as well cheat and enjoy the success. Gresham wants to remake the company in their image.

Brian Zane from Wrestling With Wregret gives us his top five Final Battle 2019 moments, with all of the new champions at the top of the list.

PCO/Marty Scurll vs. Dan Maff/Jeff Cobb

Scurll spins out of Cobb’s wristlock to start and makes the mistake of trying a shoulder. A dropkick puts Scurll down and it’s Maff coming in to miss the big elbow. Scurll slaps him on the top of the bald head and then runs away from the threat of violence. PCO comes in instead and the fans are rather pleased with the change. The staredown sets up the double suplex to drop the Villains but Scurll is right back with a cheap shot to Matt to take over.

Maff is so annoyed that he doesn’t see PCO coming from behind with a dropkick. Scurll gets thrown down though and Cobb elbows him in the face for a bonus. An overhead suplex sends Scurll flying for two and the standing moonsault is good for the same as we take a break. Back with Maff press slamming Scurll and driving PCO into the corner. The Cannonball crushes PCO and Maff drops a splash for two.

PCO gets taken into the corner for some chops but fights out with some rather slow punches to both of them. A double clothesline gets PCO out of trouble and it’s Scurll coming in to chop/strike away. Scurll DDTs both of them out of the corner and backdrops PCO onto Maff on the floor. A Boston crab/middle rope legdrop to the back of Cobb’s neck gets two and a suplex is good for the same. Scurll dives into a cutter from Maff though and he even mocks the bird pose before another cutter gets another two.

The French Canadian Destroyer gets two on Maff, because YOU NEED A DESTROYER IN EVERY SINGLE MATCH! PCO’s Cannonball gets two on Maff and a flip dive through the ropes knocks Cobb down again. Scurll tries his own dive but walks into the spear from Maff. That means a big dive from Maff, which doesn’t seem to hut PCO. The Swanton to the apron only hits apron and PCO is done again. Back in and Scurll small packages Maff for the pin at 15:16.

Overall Rating: C. This was their big fallout show from their biggest show of the year and I’m kind of disappointed. We got some recaps of a few things, but at the same time it felt like a show that just came and went. What was on here that would make me want to keep watching? An old World Champion while Scurll STILL feels like the biggest star in the company who is nowhere near the top of the card. It’s a weird place and I don’t know how they are going to get out of the whole situation.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Does Funny = Money?

IMG Credit: WrestlePro

Does Funny = Money?
Date: April 3, 2019
Location: Rahway Recreation Center, Rahway, New Jersey
Commentators: David Sturchill, McKenzie Mitchell

This is from WrestlePro, a promotion I’ve heard about before but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a full show. From the description, it seems like it’s going to be a comedy show and that’s appropriate given that it’s the first show of Wrestlemania weekend. Hopefully the show has some redeeming value to it, but I’m not getting my hopes up. Let’s get to it.

As usual: I have no idea what’s going on around here so if I miss storyline/character stuff, I apologize in advance.

The host tries to introduce the first match but McKenzie Mitchell (former Impact backstage interviewer) interrupts. She thinks the host needs a co-host and a fan poll convinces him to let her.

Bobby Wayward vs. Kikutaro

Kikutaro is a Japanese comedy guy in a weird looking mask. Wayward takes him up against the ropes for a clean break and Kikutaro applauds his politeness. Kikutaro does the same and it’s off to an exchange of shoulders. Some armdrags into an armbar has Wayward in trouble until he pulls Kikutaro throat first into the top rope. Hang on though as Kikutaro wants time out. Ever the scoundrel, Wayward stomps him down anyway as the slow pace continues.

With nothing else working, Kikutaro whips the referee into Wayward in the corner. The low blow behind the referee’s back has Wayward in more trouble but he’s fine enough to do the same to Kikutaro. There’s a low blow to the referee as well and everyone is grabbing….yeah. Kikutaro Hulks Up and gets kicked in the face to Hulk him back down. Wayward grabs a fisherman’s suplex for two but the referee collapses before three. The referee gets whipped into the corner but Kikutaro reverses it and the referee clotheslines Wayward. Now the referee DDTs him and a Shining Wizard gives Kikutaro the pin at 9:47.

Rating: D+. Oh I’m in for a long night. This wasn’t exactly my style of wrestling but that’s the point of the show so I should have known what I was getting myself into. Kikutaro doesn’t exactly make me laugh but having him beat up a villain like Wayward is about as good as you were going to get here.

Here’s Dan Lambert (American Top Team owner who showed up in Impact and was the best villain in the company for awhile) with Colby Covington (UFC Champion) and John Harnett to issue a challenge to the locker room. Wrestling today sucks so if Lambert wants to watch good wrestling, he’ll have to watch on YouTube. Lambert lists off some great wrestlers and the fans applaud, which isn’t the best way to go. He was told that WrestlePro was better but after what he’s seen, he knows that his instincts were right: today’s wrestling sucks. Cue Scarlett Bordeaux and we have an answer to the challenge.

Scarlett Bordeaux vs. John Harnett

Scarlett goes straight at him and slaps away in the corner, setting up a running hip attack. An over the back reverse kneeling piledriver finishes Harnett at 55 seconds. Well that proved the point well enough.

Post match Lambert shoves Scarlett down and pulls out a board but Scarlett spears Harnett through it instead.

Pat Buck vs. Santana Jackson

Buck is a big star around here and has a cage around his head. He’s also called the Buzzkiller because he’s beating anyone with any kind of buzz. Buck isn’t having any of Santana’s Michael Jackson dancing (REALLY bad timing with that one) so he tries a test of strength. That’s broken up with more dancing and a dancing top rope wristdrag ticks Buck off so badly that he fires off a clothesline. A spinning Tombstone makes it worse….but Jackson sits up as Thriller starts to play.

Jackson hits a Stunner into a dancing People’s Elbow but Buck gets serious. In something a little different, Jackson grabs Buck’s hand and makes him punch himself low, which technically isn’t illegal. The Moonwalk DDT gets two and Buck bails to the floor, setting up a suicide dive (with Jackson losing a shoe). Buck carries him back inside for an AA over the top, setting up something close to the One Winged Angle (pulling the arm instead of lowering the head) for the pin at 6:14.

Rating: C. Now that was a little more like it as Jackson’s stuff was actually funny at times, with the Thriller bit being an actually good gag. Buck winning is the better move of course as you rarely want a comedy guy going over a top star but at least they did something good here with Jackson getting some strong reactions.

Johnny Clash vs. Anthony Bowens vs. Jake Manning vs. Matt Macintosh

Clash is the Create-A-Pro Champion though I don’t think the title is on the line. The same seems to be true of Macintosh’s WrestlePro Gold Title. Manning brings his tent with him because we need a prop that big. The tent is in the middle of the ring but Macintosh (The Bad Apple. Get it?) throws it out so they can, you know, wrestle. Macintosh sends Manning into the post as Clash and Bowens fight in the ring.

Macintosh’s jumping knee to the head rocks Bowens and he gets tied in the Tree of Woe for a boot to the crotch. Macintosh: “HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES???” Manning grabs a headlock and reads the scout manual, which has Mackenzie wondering what passage he’s picked. Back up and Macintosh keeps running the ropes as Manning has stepped aside to read in peace. Bowens is back up with a low superkick to Clash but Manning has found….a rope? Clash gets tied up and then untied for some dizzifying effects.

Manning makes it even worse with an airplane spin and then Bowens adds one of his own. A collision puts Bowens and Clash down and it’s time to throw the tent in again. Everyone but Manning gets thrown in and he zips it shut….but gets pulled in as what seems to be a struggle ensues. The fans call it awesome, because this is a shaking tent crowd. Clash dives over the top onto Bowens and Macintosh dives onto both of them.

Manning throws the tent onto them and while he can carry it by himself, three people can’t manage to have it dropped all of a foot and a half onto their raised arms. Back in and Bowens hits a Blockbuster for two on Macintosh with Clash making the save. Manning throws the tent in AGAIN (ok the joke is old now) but Bowens elbows him into it. Manning gets out of the tent and it’s a Tower of Doom through the tent (devastating McKenzie) to give Manning the pin on Macintosh at 10:38.

Rating: D+. The tent was a funny idea but they went back to it over and over to diminishing returns. I was sick of the thing at the end and the whole thing would have been better off if it was about two minutes shorter. The wrestlers were fairly talented though and I could see them moving up to bigger promotions later on. Maybe not Manning as he’s a rather gimmicky character, but the other three have a chance.

Team Tremendous vs. Demon Bunny

Team Tremendous is Dan Barry and Bill Carr (both detectives for some reason) while Demon Bunny is Rosemary/Allie, who are apparently best friends outside of the ring. That’s always cool to see. Team Tremendous steals belts from the crowd, along with the Gold Title which was left at ringside from the previous match, and throws them inside. With that out of the way, Barry and Allie start things up.

Allie works on the arm but Barry dances his way into a wristlock. Some armdrags into an armbar have Barry in trouble and it’s off to Rosemary to stay on the arm. The women keep alternating on the arm as this isn’t exactly funny so far. Rosemary pulls his nose so it’s off to the much bigger Carr, who sticks up his fingers like a gun. As Allie surrenders, Rosemary bites the fingers and it’s back to Barry for a dropkick. Carr can’t bring himself to chop Rosemary though so Barry comes in again, this time to get choked over the ropes.

A top rope DDT sends Barry into the corner and the hot tag brings in Allie. Some forearms have no effect on Carr but he misses a charge in the corner, allowing Allie to hit some sliding elbows. Rosemary comes back in and gets planted for her troubles, followed by a reverse Razor’s Edge toss into a Codebreaker to Allie (cool move). That’s broken up at two and the Doomsday Sliced Bread is broken up as well. Rosemary mists Carr and it’s a Codebreaker into a German suplex for the double pin on Barry at 9:35.

Rating: C-. I like Rosemary and Allie but I really don’t get the comedy here. This wasn’t overly funny and could have been on any given show. Team Tremendous come off as a low level team who don’t have a lot of success and probably bragged about how they would win easily here. Not a bad match, but I have no idea why it was on here.

Fifteen minute intermission.

Shawn Donovan vs. Buster Jackson

Bird Box (blindfold) match and Donovan is billed from the fifth floor of Trump Tower. Hang on as the referee is blindfolded as well to make it even more confusing. They take less time to make contact than Jake Roberts and Rick Martel but Jackson ducks away and Donovan yells at the turnbuckle. Jackson takes him down and hammers away as the announcers spoil Bird Box. The referee has barely left the corner as Donovan gets knocked down but comes right back with a slam.

Donovan grabs the referee, who hiptosses him in self defense. A shoulder puts Jackson on the floor and Donovan follows as Jackson gets back in. Not being able to figure out what’s going on, Donovan grabs a chair and hits the post (ala Roberts vs. Martel) before getting back in as well. Donovan finally gets smart and takes his blindfold off but he’s insane (ala the movie) and tries a Swanton with no one on the mat. Jackson covers and, after the referee crawls over (how he knew there was a cover isn’t clear) and checks the shoulders, counts the pin at 6:50.

Rating: F. And that’s supposed to be funny? This was another dumb idea that just kept going despite being a short match. It’s the same problem any match with this gimmick has and there’s no way around it. This isn’t something that works and it was just stupid instead of entertaining or funny. Also, if you haven’t seen Bird Box (which came out a few months ago and isn’t a big deal anymore), this made no sense at all, especially the ending.

Gauntlet Match

When did gauntlet matches become the hottest thing in wrestling? Grim and Freddie IV (pronounced I V, not Four/Fourth) are in first and the Shook Crew (Bryce Donovan and Max Caster with Bobby Orlando) are in second. Freddie is a hippie and keeps giving people flower necklaces but uses one to pull Caster down to get us started. A double hanging suplex (including a limbo) has Caster in trouble so it’s off to Donovan (Two wrestlers on the roster named Donovan?), who gets chopped by the bigger Grim. We get the required Stink Face and Freddie comes in to drop a backsplash on Caster for a bonus.

A big legdrop gets two and Grim does the Whale (a heavy version of the Worm, consisting of dropping down, standing up and dropping down again), sending the Crew out to the floor. Back in and Grim is so winded that he collapses into the corner for the tag to Freddie. A low blow into a rollup with tights gives Donovan the pin at 4:14.

The Breakfast Club (CPA/Kip Francis Stevens) are in third and thankfully they come out to Don’t You Forget About Me (as they should). Once they get to the ring, Caster has laid out cones to create a safe space (because that’s a thing Caster does). It’s a ruse though (Gee you think?) as Orlando is taking Donovan’s place. Orlando hits Caster by mistake and we get the stupid spot of Orlando DDTing Caster by mistake because he can’t just let go.

We go wide and see Grim still out cold due to exhaustion as the match continues. Things settle down to Orlando suplexing CPA for two and Caster grabbing a chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry and the villains are knocked into the corner in a Human Centipede pose. The hot tag brings in Stevens for a bunch of clotheslines, including one to the freshly conscious Grim. CPA goes to the apron for a dive, followed by a big one from Kip to knock everyone down. Back in and a Hart Attack gets rid of the Crew at 10:08.

Naturally they beat down the Club until Massage Force (Yes MASSAGE FORCE. Dorian Graves and VSK because all you need are initials instead of a full name these days.) is in fourth. The Club gets neck massages until a double rollup gets a double near fall. We settle down to Graves (the masked man, oddly enough) rubbing Stevens’ neck before it’s off to VSK, who gets a massage from Graves. It’s good enough to bring in CPA for two off a missile dropkick.

Another Hart Attack misses so CPA has to hit a suicide dive on Graves instead. Back inside and VSK kicks Stevens in the face for two, followed by a Backstabber for the same. Massage Force wants the oil and it’s VSK sliding across Graves’ back (just go with it) for a headbutt to Stevens’ crotch. A Shatter Machine gets rid of the Club (Why are an accountant and a guy in business casual called the Breakfast Club?) at 17:17.

Job Security (Big Malcolm and Officer Ronald) are in fifth and try to beat the fun out of Massage Force. The World’s Greatest Tag Team’s jump over your partner onto someone’s back gets two on VSK but it’s quickly back to Graves to massage Ronald. A Swanton/reverse DDT combination hits Malcolm and it’s more oil so Malcolm can get sent into Ronald’s crotch. Another Shatter Machine gets rid of Job Security at 21:18.

KM and Fallah Bahh are in sixth and you can tell these two are rather popular here. They seem to like McKenzie, who sounds touched. Bahh puts VSK in a front facelock and adds a splash….before oiling up KM’s back. The slide is more of a crushing this time and everything breaks down. KM and Bahh both roll over Massage Force and they make the referee do it too. That’s not good enough though as they have McKenzie do it as well. A Banzai Drop finishes VSK at 28:22.

And just in case we haven’t gone over the edge already, the BWO (Nova/Blue Meanie) is in seventh. KM works on Nova’s arm for a good while to start, with the announcers wondering how many times a single arm can be turned around. Nova is back with a big boot that knocks KM out of the ring and up the ramp to the stage. Back in and KM wants Meanie….and then tags out to Bahh for the sumo wrestling collision. They argue over NO NO NO/YES YES YES and it’s Meanie tickling Bahh.

Everyone but Meanie head outside and the big dive is teased, sending the three of them running around the building in fear. Bahh runs so far away that he gets counted out at 37:12. KM asks where Bahh went because he’s riding Bahh’s coattails on TV. KM: “I’m his Marty Jannetty! I need him!” Bahh comes back with hot dogs….for everyone in the ring!

As they eat, Team Espana (Jos A and Jos B, the Tag Team Champions and thankfully with labeled shirts) are in eighth as the final team. Meanie gets beaten down in the corner but it’s off to Nova to throw the right hands. Everything breaks down and Nova’s suplex to B is broken up as A pulls the foot, allowing B to fall on top for the pin at 42:42.

Rating: D-. The only thing I learned from this is that the WrestlePro tag division is awful with some very goofy teams. I was rather bored with most of this because most of the teams barely stand out from the others and they seem to have one note gimmicks at best. I’ll give some credit to KM and Bahh though: they looked like stars compared to the other teams, though that’s not saying much. Crazy long here and there had to be a team or two that could be cut.

The BWO gets cheered out of the ring.

Dan Maff vs. Swoggle

Street fight. Maff weighs over 300lb and is kind of a legend around here. Swoggle brings in his own weapons and they talk trash to start. Some chairs are set up in the middle and they sit down in front of each other for a slap fight at the opening bell. Swoggle gets the better of it until Maff stands up and kicks him down.

The weapons are brought in and it’s a stepladder to Maff’s back. The trashcan goes over his head and Swoggle beats on him with a kendo stick and there’s a big shot to the head, which just annoys Maff even more. An even bigger trashcan shot to the head drops Swoggle and it’s time for the barbed wire chair. Swoggle pours out the building blocks (they’re not Legos) because that’s the big thing these days.

The staple gun doesn’t work for Maff as Swoggle bites him and staples his crotch. A Stunner gives Swoggle two and it’s a side slam onto the blocks. Swoggle kendo sticks him off the top and blasts Maff with the barbed wire chair for two. Maff shrugs it off and loads up the Burning Hammer but lets Swoggle down. Swoggle flips him off though and hits a low blow, setting up a small package for two. That’s it for Maff, who wraps the ladder around Swoggle’s head and pulls back like a camel clutch for the tap at 8:53.

Rating: D+. This was actually tolerable, though just having Swoggle in there didn’t make it funny. The spots were your usual hardcore deals, though the ending was good. Swoggle is a lot more than just a comedy act as he works hard and can have a match, which is a lot more than you would expect from him.

They show respect and trade shirts after the match.

Colt Cabana/Santino Marella vs. Heavenly Bodies

That would be Desirable Dustin/Gigolo Justin for this Bodies incarnation. We get the rapid tags before any contact is made with the first lockup coming nearly two minutes in. Justin bails away from the threat of the Cobra so it’s off to Dustin, who gets made fun of for having a large stomach. The threat of the Cobra makes him run away twice as that lockup is about all that has happened so far. Everything breaks down and it’s a power walk from Cabana and Santino, setting up the double Bionic elbows.

We settle down to Justin’s arm getting worked over with Santino climbing to the top but getting nervous and coming off the bottom rope instead. Colt and Santino can’t get their double teams on the same page and jokingly yell at each other. A sunset flip doesn’t work for Colt as Dustin gets the tag but a tag to Santino doesn’t count because he’s not in the corner. Therefore, being clever, Santino extends the tag rope and stands halfway down the apron while still holding the rope.

A belly to back suplex into a moonsault gets two on Cabana (the Flippy Doo) and Colt stays in trouble in the corner. Cabana’s diving tag lands about three feet short so he tries again, this time with Dustin pulling Santino off the apron. Colt finally shrugs off some stomping in the corner and brings in Santino for his usual comeback. The referee gets bumped and Santino loads up the Cobra but Killer Kross runs in to jump him.

Kross does a Rick Rude impression and says he’s here to prove that funny doesn’t equal money because it’s not best for business. He beats up Colt and Santino while mocking comedy wrestling. Cue Joey Ryan of all people but Kross immediately says he’s not going near it. Kross tries the low blow and hurts his leg so Joey hits a dropkick. The lollipop goes into Kross’ mouth for the superkick and it’s time for the Cobra. Hang on though as Cabana puts a sock on his own hand. We get a double You Plex and a pair of Cobras for the double pin at 16:26.

Rating: D+. I really can’t get mad at this as it kind of went exactly as you would expect it to with the run-ins being the right choices. The ending was never in doubt and it was really just a matter of time before the Cobra got the win. It this had been the featured goofy match at the end of a more balanced show it could have worked better, but you can only get so much after this long of a show.

Overall Rating: D. The one thing I’ve learned from this show is why it’s called comedy relief. The idea behind a comedy match is to give you some breathing room after everything gets serious on a show. By having the entire (over three hour long) card be comedy, and in some cases it’s a big stretch to call it such, it’s really hard to stay in the right mood for it.

This didn’t work and while it’s certainly an idea, it isn’t one that works throughout. By the end it felt like a sketch comedy show that had run out of ideas and they were just throwing stuff out there and hoping it was funny. That’s why this kind of an idea doesn’t work. You need a serious match to look forward to because once the jokes stop working, you’re just watching mostly bad matches.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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