Superstars – November 4, 2016: Some Familiar Faces
Superstars Date: November 4, 2016
Location: XL Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
The more I do this show and Main Event, the more I’m starting to like them. They’re such simple shows and I can burn through them so quickly, which is a really nice change of pace. After the hours and hours I have to spend on the big shows, it’s cool to be in and out in less than an hour like this. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Alicia Fox vs. Dana Brooke
Speaking of good things, so be it if I’m just forced to watch two of the better looking women in the company. Also in a nice bit of continuity, Graves says he’s been wearing his Halloween costume for four days in a refreshing attempt to make it seem like this is a stand alone show that was taped on its own.
Dana talks trash and gets kicked in the face to start, only to run Alicia over with…..I have no idea what that was actually but that’s pretty common with Brooke. We hit a weak chinlock on Fox for a good while until she gets two off a sunset flip out of the corner. The scissors kick, which was more like Fox sitting on Brooke’s back, is enough for the pin at 5:15.
Rating: D+. These two aren’t exactly the smoothest workers in the world but they’re both good options to put over the better talent in the division. Fox has a ton of charisma and that’s one of the best things you can have in wrestling. Brooke has potential but was called up WAY too soon and it shows badly. That’s not her fault mind you but she really needed more seasoning before being called up. She had only debuted about a year and a half in NXT before being put on the main roster and unless you’re Charlotte, that’s not long enough.
Off to Raw for the first time.
We open with Goldberg, who gets the full walking entrance. Before he can say much though, Paul Heyman interrupts. Heyman knows he isn’t a physical threat to Goldberg but he’s willing to get inside the ring. There’s no way he would get into this ring without significant backup because Brock wants to fight tonight.
Goldberg is more than happy with this and takes off the jacket (that man just has the look that suggests he could fight anybody) as Lesnar’s music starts up. Of course that’s not happening tonight but Heyman realizes this could go badly for him. Cue Rusev of all people to praise Goldberg before challenging him to a fight. A few knees to the ribs and a Jackhammer later, Rusev is down. A weak spear takes Heyman down as well and Goldberg gets to pose.
Video on Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks from Sunday.
Back to Raw again.
Here’s Charlotte for her address as champion. She calls the fans peasants and promises to lead the women’s team to victory against Team Smackdown and its captain Nikki Bella. Charlotte is ready to take on all of the Smackdown women but thinks there’s a weak link on her team and her name is Bayley.
Cue Bayley, who says she’s glad Charlotte called her out here. Seeing last night’s main event choked her up and she wants to congratulate Charlotte on her win. Unfortunately she’s also become the biggest jerk and the kind of champion Bayley never wants to be. Charlotte says this isn’t NXT anymore and she sees a glorified fan looking back at her. Therefore, tonight Bayley has a match with one of her teammates.
Bayley vs. Nia Jax
Charlotte is on commentary. Nia starts fast with a shoulder breaker and throws Bayley around a bit before grabbing a bearhug. Bayley reverses into the guillotine but Nia is a learning monster and drives her into the buckle for the break. Some kicks to the legs and a few dropkicks stagger Jax, only to have the standing Vader splash crush Bayley. Instead of the legdrop, Nia goes to the middle rope, only to have to fight out of a super Bayley to Belly. Bayley comes up holding her knee and a ram into the barricade makes it even worse. The knee seems to be fine as Nia hits the Samoan drop for the pin at 5:52.
Rating: C-. This was just a step ahead of a squash and another example of how Raw looks completely dominant against Smackdown, assuming the power of being FEARLESS overcomes Nia. Seriously would that surprise you at this point? Anyway, not bad here and a good sign that Nia keeps dominating like this.
Curtis Axel vs. Jinder Mahal
I can always go for some Curtis Axel and the face version is even better. We get an AXELMANIA chant to start things off and Curtis doesn’t let his fans down with some right hands. Mahal knees him down (makes sense with legs that long) and we take a break. Back with Axel fighting out of a chinlock but getting suplexed right back down. We hit the third chinlock because Mahal doesn’t seem to have much of an offense. Axel easily fights up, hits his usual stuff, and finishes with the PerfectPlex at 10:15.
Rating: D+. The good is because of Axel and the bad is because of Mahal. I’m running out of ways to call Jinder boring but that’s the best word to describe him. He’s fine for a very low level heel like this, assuming you can come up with a reason to not like him in the first place. The whole peace thing goes nowhere but as long as he’s here and not on Raw, he’s mostly harmless.
Stills of Rollins vs. Owens from Sunday.
Back to Raw one more time.
Here’s Foley to talk about last night’s show with a focus on the Universal Title match. Everything that Owens and Jericho did last night was legal but it all left a bad taste in Foley’s mouth. Jericho and Owens come out to brag about getting into the Cell last night and walking out with the title.
That win means they should be anchoring the Survivor Series team because they’re the top two guys on Raw. They laugh at Foley and bring up him losing the Cell match against HHH right here in Hartford, Connecticut. Foley gets in Owens’ face to yell about how much talent he has but Jericho keeps interfering. Jericho was standing there with a key around his finger and that’s what people are going to see on the WWE Network in eighteen years. Jericho: “Lock it in man.”
That’s enough for Foley, who says Stephanie only wanted Owens for Raw. However, Foley is going to put them both on the team along with another guy he can trust. That wouldn’t be just any guy, but rather THE guy. Reigns comes out and praises Foley’s pumpkin shirt while saying Owens and Jericho look like Spongebob and Patrick.
Roman was going to dress up like a stupid idiot but the store was out of Jericho costumes. Jericho teases putting someone on the List but NO ONE GOES ON THE LIST TONIGHT. Chris doesn’t like anyone here in the United States but he would still be a better US Champion than Reigns. That sounds good to Foley so the title match is made.
And from later in the show.
US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Roman Reigns
Reigns is defending and we get some Big Match Intros. Feeling out process to start until Jericho gets in a shot off the middle rope. They head outside with Owens throwing the weakened champ into the post as we take a break. Back with Jericho in control until he misses a charge in the corner.
Roman hits his string of clotheslines but the Superman Punch misses. The Lionsault hits knees so Jericho opts for the Walls in the middle of the ring. Roman powers out of that (duh) and grabs a sitout powerbomb for two more. Owens’ distraction doesn’t work and now the Superman Punch connects. The spear looks to finish but Owens comes in for the DQ at 14:50.
Rating: C. This was fine, though the ending wasn’t exactly a secret. You knew they weren’t going to change the title the night after Reigns successfully defended inside the Cell but at least Jericho gave him a good match. Owens being out there telegraphed the ending but we didn’t get a clean ending and that’s the right call.
Post match the beatdown is on until Seth Rollins comes out for the save. Rollins and Reigns share a staredown so maybe they’ll get back together for Survivor Series.
Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t the best show in the world but as always it’s a lot easier to sit through than three hours and fifteen minutes of the regular red show. The stuff from Raw was better but that’s almost always going to be the case when you compare it to the people who are stuck down on Superstars. Still though, entertaining show and another easy sit.
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Hell in a Cell 2016 Date: October 30, 2016
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
It’s the annual “scary” show as we have three matches inside the Cell. In this case we’ve got Rusev challenging Roman Reigns for the US Title, Kevin Owens defending the Raw World Title against Seth Rollins and, possibly, a main event of Charlotte going after Sasha Banks’ Women’s Title. If that’s true, it’s the biggest match in the history of women’s wrestling. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Lince Dorado/Cedric Alexander/Sin Cara vs. Drew Gulak/Tony Nese/Ariya Daivari
Rematch from Superstars. Cara and Nese start things off and Dorado looks so much like Cara that Mauro Ranallo gets them confused. A couple of backbreakers have Nese’s partners in trouble as we get a Sin Cara chant. Cara moonsaults onto Daivari to set up a double tag to Dorado and Nese with the former cleaning house off a variety of kicks. A shooting star press gets two on Nese and everything breaks down. Nese throws Dorado onto Cara and Cedric to send us to a break.
Back (after that freaky Ziggler vs. Miz chicken ad) with Daivari kneeing Dorado in the face and the fans not going along with Nese’s pleas for a DAIVARI chant. Nese trips Dorado and springboards into a Lionsault which barely grazes Lince but gets two anyway. The hot tag brings in Alexander to a very nice reaction. A triple dive takes the heels out and everything breaks down with a series of strikes and slams all around. Cedric stomps on Gulak and gives him the Lumbar Check for the pin at 9:37.
Rating: C. This is the kind of match you have these guys around for: it’s entertaining, there’s little reason for it to be taking place and the fans freak out because of all the high spots. These guys are great for popping a crowd but it all falls apart when they’re trying to do something serious, which is a problem for a division like this.
The opening video features the Ouija board theme before talking about the three main matches and all the violence that will ensue.
US Title: Roman Reigns vs. Rusev
Cole says this is the 34th time the Cell has been lowered, which really doesn’t have the same ring to it anymore. Reigns is defending and slugs away to start before heading outside for some failed rams into the cage. Rusev gets knocked off the apron and into the cage before being whipped into the cage. A kick to the head gets Rusev out of trouble and he takes Reigns back inside to start working on the arm.
Rusev misses a charge though and gets clotheslined in the corner, followed by a boot to the face. That just earns Reigns a whip into the steps before Rusev changes the pace a bit by hitting the champ in the face with the steps. They head back inside with Reigns slingshotting into a dropkick through the ropes to send Rusev into the cage again.
It’s already time for a kendo stick and a table as the champ pounds away on Rusev’s back. They head inside again and Rusev gets the cane away before tying Reigns up. Some hard shots to the chest have Reigns in trouble until a spear gets a quick near fall. The Superman Punch connects for two but the second spear is blocked by a loud superkick.
Rusev sends him face first into the steps (on the top rope) for two more and frustration is setting in. The Accolade goes on with Reigns’ shoulders nearly being pulled out of socket. The champ gets out again so Rusev opts for a chain, which is quickly knocked out of his hands. We actually get dueling Rusev chants as he loads the steps back into the ring. Rusev’s kick to the face gets two more and it’s back to the Accolade with Reigns on the steps with the chain in his mouth. Naturally Roman powers out of it into a Samoan drop onto the steps. Rusev stands up and gets speared off the steps for the pin at 24:31.
Rating: B+. And so much for Rusev and the Accolade at the moment. This was reaching Cena levels of taking a beating and surviving over and over no matter what happens, though at least it’s in a match designed to be that barbaric. The other problem is who fights Reigns next. It’s not like there’s anyone really ready to face him on the Raw roster but at least they can just put him on the Survivor Series roster to buy themselves a month.
We look at Seth Rollins winning the triple threat on Monday.
Owens isn’t impressed at Rollins beating him for three seconds out of a match that lasted about 600. Then he powerbombed Rollins onto the apron, just like he did to John Cena. Tonight Rollins wants to get inside a Cell to become Universal Champion to prove he’s the man. That won’t be happening because Owens is going to do in the Cell will make what we just saw look like a cakewalk. After the match tonight, it won’t be clear what Rollins will be but Owens will be the man.
Bayley vs. Dana Brooke
Rematch from a few weeks ago on Raw where Dana won, albeit with the ending looking a bit botched. Bayley gets in a few kicks to the ribs but Dana takes her into the corner to pull on the bad shoulder. Some knees to the should have Bayley in trouble, though I’m not sure why Dana keeps screaming before each knee drop. Dana loads up the ram into the post that won her the first match but gets blocked, only to have Bayley’s bad arm draped across the top rope. A quick suplex from Bayley and a basement clothesline set up the middle rope elbow to the jaw. The Bayley to Belly gets the pin at 6:27.
Rating: C-. Not much to this one but the right person won and that’s the important idea here. Dana is fine for a gatekeeper heel, especially when the division is as weak as it is at the moment. Bayley is probably in line for a title feud at this point and the good thing is there’s enough history for her to go face vs. face with Sasha if she retains tonight.
Mick Foley and Stephanie McMahon play Exposition Theater about Survivor Series when Chris Jericho comes in to ask why he’s not on Team Raw. This leads into a discussion of Foley being put on the List for a third time, a trinity, a triumvirate or tres tiempos. Foley isn’t intimidated by threats of getting IT (“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”) so Jericho gets back to the point: he and Kevin Owens should be the captains of Team Raw. Stephanie doesn’t think so because Owens has a title defense to worry about.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Anderson and Gallows
Before the match, Enzo has a message for Andy and the Big Gal. Enzo: “You are like Times New Roman s going to go upside Luke’s head like Big Papi. Enzo thinks that after tonight, he’s going to have to start calling Cass Woody because he’s going to have Andy all over the bottom of his boot (if I have to explain that reference to you……yeah I’ve got nothing).
Enzo cross bodies Anderson to start and it’s already off to Cass for some shots in the corner. The bald guys are taken to the floor where Gallows clotheslines Enzo’s head off to take over. It’s a short form beating though as Enzo shoves Anderson off the top and hits his middle rope DDT. That means a hot tag off to Cass to clean house with Karl being sent out to the floor. The Empire Elbow gets two on Anderson but Cass misses the big boot. Enzo tags himself in for a high crossbody and the dancing jabs. Gallows comes right back with a superkick and the Magic Killer puts Enzo away at 6:45.
Rating: D+. Again, not much to this one but this isn’t the match that people are watching the show to see. Enzo and Cass are likely losing here to set up a big road to redemption where they FINALLY win the titles sometime in the new year and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. Anderson and Gallows needed a win or two to get them back on track and this is as good of an option as they had.
We recap Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins. Owens won the title a few months back in a fourway with Owens receiving a bit of help from HHH. Rollins then had the title won last month until the referee was taken out and Rollins’ pin wasn’t counted. Seth claimed conspiracy so the solution was to put them inside the Cell.
Raw World Title: Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins
This means the women are indeed main eventing tonight. Rollins is challenging and is coming in with a bad back thanks to a powerbomb on the apron to end Raw. That means more kinesio tape, which I’m convinced is some kind of product placement. Owens immediately goes for the weapons on the floor but gets chopped for his efforts.
Back inside and Rollins gets two off the Sling Blade before shouting that he’s the man around here. Owens: “Shut up.” A Blockbuster gets two more and it’s already table time. That takes too long though and the bad back is sent into the corner, setting up a backsplash to make things even worse.
Seth is sent into the cage and Owens rips off the tape, which Cole seems to think would hurt worse than the steel. Back in and Seth fires off more chops but Owens sends him through the ropes and face first into the cage. The slow beating continues as the Cannonball sends Seth back outside. That’s fine with Owens as he hits a second Cannonball up against the cage but it’s still too early for the Pop Up Powerbomb.
Instead they trade superkicks, followed by an enziguri to Owens and a BIG clothesline to Rollins as both guys drop. Owens is up first and grabs another table, which he puts on the apron and wedges into the Cell wall at an angle with the original table set up underneath it. Rollins is up with something like a Falcon’s Arrow onto the apron, followed by back to back suicide dives to send Kevin into the steel.
Owens busts out a fire extinguisher but sprays the referee for some reason. The fans want Jericho and here he comes as the original referee is taken out, likely due to a bad case of being cold. Jericho locks himself inside along with a second referee and the key. Rollins knocks Chris into the cage but walks into the package side slam for two more. Fans: “STUPID IDIOT!”
The springboard knee to the face sets up the Pedigree but Jericho makes the save and takes it instead. Rollins powerbombs Owens (after muscling him up) through the double tables and the fans lose it. The frog splash looks to finish but Jericho pulls the referee out to keep things going. That’s enough for Seth who powerbombs Jericho into the Cell, only to walk into the Pop Up Powerbomb for a very close two.
The Canadians start double teaming Rollins with Jericho handing the champ a chair to unload on Rollins’ back. Jericho tries to bring in a second chair and the results are as expected with Seth taking it away and cleaning house. Kevin chairs Seth down again and sets up the two chairs for a big old powerbomb to retain the titles at 23:19.
Rating: B. This was a better story with the good guy fighting through the overwhelming odds until he just couldn’t hang in there anymore. It keeps Rollins looking strong and gives Owens a win, which thankfully he didn’t need HHH to help him earn. It’s still nothing great but at least it was the right ending with no interference from someone who wasn’t involved in the story.
Post match Jericho gives Rollins a Codebreaker.
Pre-show recap.
Cruiserweight Title: Brian Kendrick vs. TJ Perkins
Perkins is defending and Kendrick is getting desperate to keep his career going. They trade rollups to start until Kendrick charges into a hiptoss. A slingshot hilo sends Brian outside but it’s too early for the Wrecking Ball dropkick. Kendrick tries to tie TJ to the ropes using the athletic tape but the champ is right back with another dropkick. A belly to back suplex looks to set up something off the top, only to have TJ dive into a dropkick for two.
The fireman’s carry enziguri sets up the Wrecking Ball but a rollup is countered into the Captain’s Hook. TJ grabs the rope and Brian does the same to escape the kneebar. Brian loads up Sliced Bread #2 but tweaks his knee. Of course he’s gold bricking and, after waiting around for about a minute, TJ goes over to him and gets headbutted into the Captain’s Hook to give Kendrick the title at 10:33.
Rating: D. GAH this was so boring. I’ve tried to care about the cruiserweights but does ANYONE want to see these two and their stupid issues with Kendrick’s mid-life crisis and TJ spouting off video game references? The match was fine but I was just so bored through the whole thing and there’s no way around that.
Cesaro and Sheamus have a bonding moment and say they’re ready to team together after hating each others guts. As expected, this turns into an argument, this time over rental cars.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Cesaro/Sheamus
New Day is defending and say Cesaro is on the verge of some major endorsement deals, including shoes. This turns into a discussion of Kofi wearing Rob Gronkowski shoes to start a Patriots chant. Sheamus will get some deals of his own, but only on things like trashcans. The one thing you’ll never see Sheamus around is these titles because NEW DAY ROCKS.
Sheamus clubs on Woods (odd to not have Kofi defending the titles) to start and it’s off to Cesaro for some uppercuts. The Irish Curse gets two but Sheamus charges into some boots in the corner for the hot tag off to Big E. Woods dives onto Cesaro and Sheamus’ Brogue Kick is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two.
White Noise gets the same on Woods but Sheamus misses a charge and gets caught by the springboard elbow. Cesaro Swings Woods but Big E. remembers that he’s in this match and makes the save. The Midnight Hour is broken up and Sheamus Brogue Kicks Cesaro by mistake. That’s only good for two as well and the champs are sent outside.
Sheamus goes up top (Byron: “Where is Sheamus going?” Cole: “To the top.”) and dives onto all of New Day for a big crash. The legal Woods and Cesaro are thrown inside and Xavier gets caught in the Sharpshooter in the middle of the ring. Sheamus hits Big E. with the trombone and gets hit with Trouble in Paradise for the DQ at 10:23. As you might guess, Woods taps at the exact same time as the DQ.
Rating: C. This was better than I was expecting and the right call. If they just have to go with Cesaro and Sheamus as the eventual champions then so be it, but at least let us get through the record. Otherwise, why bother keeping the titles on New Day for the last several months in the first place? The match was fine and I bought some of the near falls so it could have been a lot worse.
Video on Goldberg vs. Lesnar for no other purpose but to extend the show because that needs to happen.
We recap Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks, which is culminating in the first ever women’s pay per view main event and the first ever women’s match inside the Cell.
Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte
Charlotte is challenging and comes out being carried on a throne. Sasha repeats her Takeover: Brooklyn entrance by being driven out in an Escalade and having four people escort her to the ring. We hit the Big Match Intros and then the Cell is lowered. Charlotte jumps the champ before the Cell reaches the ground so they can fight on the floor and extend the show even more.
The Cell is on the ground and Sasha loads up the announcers’ table….but they both climb the wall. Charlotte drops down and hits a wicked powerbomb through the table. Sasha tries to get up but falls back down and EMTs are called. She’s put on a stretcher and Charlotte is announced as the new champion but Sasha gets up and goes inside to start the match (At 10:52 because screw you if you have a job and need to get up early. If you’re going to watch a WWE show, you better be committed.).
Sasha goes right at her to start but gets monkey flipped into the cage wall. A throw over the top sends Sasha’s back into the apron but she pops back up for a baseball slide as Charlotte gets a chair. Back in and Charlotte chops her down in the corner but stops to set up the chair. That means she’s going to go face first into the steel, only to have Charlotte drop her back first onto the chair.
They head outside with Sasha climbing the cage wall and hitting the double knees to the chest to put both women down again. Back in and Three Amigos set up a frog splash on Charlotte for the big near fall. There’s the Bank Statement but Charlotte powers out and fires off a few kicks. Sasha is right back up to lay her on the corner for the double knees onto the chest onto a chair for a loud crash. Charlotte comes right back by pulling Banks to the floor and sending her face first into the steps.
For the third time tonight we have a table set up at ringside and Sasha kicks Charlotte off the apron for a very weak bump. Thankfully they load up another table, which Charlotte pushes into Sasha’s chest to drive her into the Cell again. The Figure Eight goes on but Sasha grabs a chair and blasts Charlotte for the break. Two backbreakers into a side slam get two on Sasha and Charlotte loads her onto the table for the moonsault. It’s still too early for that though and Sasha crotches her on top, only to collapse when trying a running powerbomb. Natural Selection gives Charlotte the title back at 22:49.
Rating: B. That was quite the anticlimactic ending but it was quite the violent brawl up to that point. I’m really not sure about putting the title back on Charlotte as there’s only Bayley next and it’s probably a stretch to have Bayley win one pay per view match and then move up to the title challenger. Still though, really good, match (weak spots aside) and certainly historic, but the ending wasn’t great.
Overall Rating: B. The big matches all delivered but everything else belonged on Raw or in a dumpster somewhere. I’m really glad the women went on last though as it saves this from being a nothing show that isn’t going to be remembered in more than a week or two. I know people seem to think I’m ridiculous for this but I still can’t stand the overrun and this was the best example of why.
Look at some of the stuff on here to extend the show from the Goldberg promo to various Network ads to the buildup to the main event taking nearly ten minutes. It’s just adding to an already long show and doesn’t help anything. That aside, it’s entertaining and a good pay per view and that’s the best thing you can have most of the time.
Results
Roman Reigns b. Rusev – Accolade
Bayley b. Dana Brooke – Bayley to Belly
Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore and Big Cass – Magic Killer to Amore
Kevin Owens b. Seth Rollins – Powerbomb through two chairs
Brian Kendrick b. TJ Perkins – Captain’s Hook
Cesaro/Sheamus b. New Day via DQ when Kofi Kingston interfered
Charlotte b. Sasha Banks – Natural Selection
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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It’s time, once again, for that Halloween spectacle where WWE takes one of their biggest concepts and does it three times in one night before wondering why the thrill and mystique left so very long ago. It’s time for “Hell in a Cell 2016” with three matches taking place inside the Cell, plus a handful of other matches that don’t mean quite as much. Let’s get to it.
We’ll start on the Kickoff Show with Lince Dorado/Cedric Alexander/Sin Cara vs. Tony Nese/Ariya Daivari/Drew Gulak in a rematch from this week’s “Superstars”. Yeah the Kickoff Show is now copying the D show that only airs on the Network. The first match was something that indeed happened and I can’t seem to remember anything else about it despite watching the match yesterday. My guess is that’s due to the lack of personalities, characters or almost anything interesting about any of the six. I’ll take Alexander and company to win on the grounds of a coin flip as there’s not much to care about here.
We might as well get rid of the cruiserweights here with Cruiserweight Champion TJ Perkins defending against Brian Kendrick in the third match in a series that I don’t think most people needed to see go to a second match. They’ve traded wins to set up Kendrick’s second shot at the title, which is becoming less and less important every single week. I’ll go with Kendrick getting the belt here as he already lost to Rich Swann, which would seem to set up Swann as the first challenger to the new champion. That makes enough sense, assuming you think having the cruiserweights around on the main roster still makes sense.
Let’s go to something a little more fun as Enzo Amore/Big Cass face Anderson and Gallows. This is an interesting one as you have the highly entertaining and incredibly popular Amore and Cass, who have yet to actually win a regular tag match on pay per view while Anderson and Gallows came in hot and have floundered since the Draft. The question here is which one actually breaks through and wins something.
I think I’ll take Anderson and Gallows winning here as the whole idea of Anderson and Gallows wanting to crush the silliness out of the division makes sense if you’re building towards Amore and Cass winning the titles at “Wrestlemania XXXIII”. However, the idea of giving a team a new gimmick has never stopped WWE from having them lose on pay per view right out of the gate.
Anderson and Gallows seem to be more gatekeepers than contenders, which is kind of a shame on one hand but at the same time Amore and Cass eventually winning the titles is a better story. I’ll go with the bald guys here with the promise of a bigger payoff for the popular guys later.
Let’s go to one of the biggest matches as we step inside of the Cell for the first time with Roman Reigns defending the United States Title against Rusev. Once you get past the idea that Reigns has been the heel for most of this feud by doing stuff like attacking Rusev’s wife and beating on a defenseless Rusev with a chair, there’s been a very physical feud in there with both guys beating the heck out of each other.
I don’t know why, but I think Rusev wins here. It’s nothing but pure instinct, but I think they’ll give the title back to the Bulgarian here and let Reigns move on up to the World Title scene again. Keeping in mind that my gut instincts are almost never right, take this one with a barrel or two of salt. However, I’m going to stick with that idea and say Rusev actually gets the belt back here, despite how little sense it would make in either the small or grand scheme of things.
Next up we’ll look at something a bit less intense as Dana Brooke faces Bayley. This is another confusing one as Brooke won their most recent match, though it seemed to be a somewhat botched ending. Aside from that, Bayley hasn’t exactly been on fire since she debuted on the main roster as the crowd is still behind her but there’s not much of a spark to her.
I’ll still take Bayley to win though as she has more potential as a challenger to whoever walks out of the Women’s Title match with the belt. Brooke isn’t the most interesting thing in the world and is a good obstacle for Bayley to overcome. I really can’t imagine a scenario of Brooke challenging for the title and unless Nia Jax is reappearing on “Monday Night Raw” to go after the title, this is Bayley’s match to lose and there’s no real reason to go any other direction.
We’ll clear out the last non-Cell match with New Day defending the Tag Team Titles against Cesaro and Sheamus. Several people, including myself, have gone on several rants about how stupid it is to just throw Cesaro and Sheamus together after all those weeks of them fighting each other but ok, whatever. They’re getting the title shot here.
That being said, there isn’t the greatest case for new champions here. Sure New Day has gotten a little more stale over the last month or so, but they’ve held the titles for well over a year and are about six weeks away from setting the all time record. If WWE just MUST go with Cesaro and Sheamus as a team and wants them in the title picture, let New Day break the record and then go with the new champions sometime around Christmas. New Day should keep the belts here, not defend them at “Survivor Series 2016”, and then lose them at some point in the future.
Now we’ll move on to the two major matches, starting with Sasha Banks defending the Women’s Title against Charlotte inside the Cell. This is the first time any women have participated in this particular match and on top of that it’s in Banks’ hometown of Boston. Why they didn’t just wait until this show to do the title change isn’t clear but the match being inside the Cell is a huge milestone for women’s wrestling. If this match closes the show (more on that later), it’s the biggest match in the women’s wrestling history.
This is where I get scared of WWE as there’s always a chance that they’ll have the biggest layup imaginable and screw it up. Banks retaining here should be an easy concept but WWE seems to have no problem crippling their stars’ hometown fans. If Banks loses and this doesn’t go on last, I have no idea how they expect the fans to care about the main event.
But yeah, Banks wins here and goes on to feud with either Bayley or Jax in the first part of the new year as we somehow get to the Four Horsewomen in a match at “Wrestlemania XXXIII”. Charlotte will be fine as she regroups and fights someone else (I’m not sure who though.) but Banks should go over here.
That leaves us with the Raw World Title match as Kevin Owens defends against Seth Rollins. Where do you even start with this one? Owens is being overshadowed by Chris Jericho who doesn’t have a role on this show and Rollins is being overshadowed by HHH, who may or may not show up tomorrow night for the sake of a slight advancement in this glacial paced story which seems to be setting up Rollins vs. HHH because that’s the rub Rollins needs.
Rollins has even come close to saying that winning the title isn’t the point here because it’s all about impressing or showing up the Authority, which is the real title on this brand. Owens has been completely forgotten as champion as he was handed the belt as part of the HHH vs. Rollins feud and has since been turned into a glorified Jericho lackey. But somehow, this is one of the pay per view’s main events.
I’ll go with Owens retaining via HHH interference because you have to have some kind of cheating in a major match like this because that’s how pay per view main events work. Rollins can go on to feud with HHH while Owens and Jericho probably get into it over the title, assuming Jericho is going to be sticking around and not going on tour with Fozzy instead. Owens wins here and is probably a lot worse off as a result because the title means that little anymore.
That leaves us with the big question: what goes on last? There have been stories all over the place about whether Rollins vs. Owens or Banks vs. Charlotte is the main event with “Monday Night Raw” General Manager Mick Foley officially saying it would be the women but then backtracking with the lame excuse of there can be multiple main events.
Here’s the thing: Banks vs. Charlotte main eventing is a major story and a first time ever moment that makes WWE look like they’re trying to do something special. If Owens vs. Rollins goes on last, it’s just not that interesting. They’re in a lame feud and it’s not going to matter to have them go on last. Just let the women, in Banks’ hometown, do something historic for a change so the fans can have some fun.
Overall, this is a moderately interesting show on paper but I’m much more interested in the upcoming “Survivor Series 2016”, which has left this one feeling pretty unimportant. Having three Cell matches waters the concept down but at least there’s going to be a big feeling with something this big taking place…..at least the first time they do it.
Monday Night Raw – October 17, 2016: The Long, Slow Tease
Monday Night Raw Date: October 17, 2016
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
It’s a big moment tonight as Goldberg will be making his first appearance in WWE in over twelve years. Goldberg is back tonight to answer Paul Heyman’s challenge for a match against Brock Lesnar at some point in the future (likely next month’s Survivor Series). Other than that we have two more shows before the Cell is lowered so let’s get to it.
Opening sequence. Is there a reason why they got rid of Last Week on Raw? Taking too much promo time up?
Here are Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho for the opening chat. Owens thinks Mick Foley has a personal vendetta against him because he’s put the title match inside the Cell. Jericho’s calls for quiet backfire so he talks about all the stuff that happened inside the Cell over the years, including ending Foley’s career.
It’s still going to be the Chris and Kevin Show because Jericho should have been in that match as well. We hear Jericho’s resume again, including beating Rock and Austin on the same night. Jericho: “Bet you forgot about that one!” He only lost last week because of bad refereeing so THE REFEREE IS ON THE LIST!
This brings out Rollins to a BIG face chant. Like, even bigger than the time he beat up Roman Reigns and should have been turned face then. Rollins thinks everything about Jericho should be on the List, including the trunks which Rollins refers to as Sparkle Crotch. Jericho: “I AM NOT SPARKLE CROTCH!” For calling him that, Rollins JUST MADE THE LIST!
Seth brings up Owens bailing on Jericho two weeks in a row but that’s just to keep the team strong. Jericho issues a challenge to Rollins, who wants to fight right now. Actually hang on because Seth wants to know what Owens is going to do. Jericho and Owens disagree about whether Owens should stay or go with Jericho saying he’s got this because Owens can be here in spirit. Rollins: “Let’s do this. Owens, get your hands off Sparkle Crotch.”
Chris Jericho vs. Seth Rollins
First good sign of the match: the bell rings as we get back because Foley made it official during the break. Do that WAY more often. The SPARKLE CROTCH chants begin as Rollins clotheslines Jericho out of the corner and stomps on the Canadian. A backbreaker gives Jericho two and control but he has to fight out of a Pedigree attempt. Jericho backdrops him over the top and face first onto the apron as we take a break.
Back with both guys getting up and Rollins scoring with a Sling Blade for two. The nose breaking knee has Jericho in trouble but here’s Owens for a distraction. Rollins hits the springboard knee but gets distracted anyway, allowing Jericho to grab the Walls. The referee sees Owens holding the ropes away from Rollins though and the hold is broken. Instead Jericho goes with an enziguri but the Codebreaker is countered into a Pedigree for the pin at 14:36.
Rating: B-. This third straight loss for Jericho is proof of how important talking is in wrestling. Jericho has lost to Rollins three times now and he’s still going to be one of the most over acts on the roster with all of his stupid lines and charisma. It’s something so few people have going for them and Jericho is one of the best ever at it.
We look at Goldberg’s first win in WCW.
Earlier today, Lita sat down with Charlotte for a chat about what it means to go inside the Cell. Charlotte brags about how awesome she is and how this is the latest moment on her already amazing resume. She’s won eleven pay per view title matches in a row and this is going to be another one. Charlotte lists off all her accomplishments and says she’s going to win again because that’s what she does.
Golden Truth/Mark Henry vs. Shining Stars/Titus O’Neil
This is over the Shining Stars trying to rip Henry off fake Rolexes. Apparently they were Titus Brand watches so there’s your reason for this match. Titus beats on Goldust to start and it’s off to Primo for a chinlock. The powerslam allows the hot tag to Truth as everything breaks down. Henry tags himself in and the World’s Strongest Slam ends Titus at 3:09.
Rating: F. Oh screw off WWE. This was another waste of time because they don’t bother with putting together a storyline and just threw six guys out there for the sake of throwing six guys out there to fill in time. I have a big problem caring about WWE when it’s clear that they don’t care either. Either give this time to something worthwhile or have the people out there eating sandwiches because it might actually be more interesting than a three minute match over a Titus Brand Rolex.
Jericho yells at Owens for coming down to ringside and almost calls him a Stupid Idiot. Owens calls him out on it and here’s STEPHANIE TO SAVE THE DAY! She says this is what Seth Rollins is trying to do and somehow ties it into the feud with Smackdown over the upcoming Survivor Series matches. Stephanie leaves and the guys are all quiet because Mama yelled at them.
Big E. vs. Sheamus
Before the match, Big E. laughs at the idea of Cesaro and Sheamus being a good team. Kofi points out that you can’t say Sheamus without the word SHAME. Woods: “I doubt these two are even friends on Facebook.” Sheamus isn’t pleased and starts fast with a German suplex. Cesaro watches on Facebook Live because WWE wants you to stop watching the show and go look at that. The apron splash gets Big E. out of trouble and Cesaro stops for more video.
Back from a break with Sheamus diving into a belly to belly but blocking the Warrior Splash. Big E. grabs a powerbomb of all things for two and Sheamus gets the same off White Noise. Cesaro takes this opportunity to go into the crowd with his phone but Sheamus takes it away and demands that he film the following Brogue Kick. Instead it’s a splash in the corner and a rollup to give Big E. the pin at 10:24.
Rating: C-. Not a bad match here but OH MY GOODNESS this story is annoying. The whole thing is a way to hype up WWE on Facebook Live and we’re stuck sitting through the next two weeks of watching Cesaro and Sheamus losing but hoping they might pull it together in the title match. That’s storytelling in today’s Raw tag team division.
The next Goldberg video is him winning the WCW World Title from Hollywood Hogan on July 8, 1998. Cole actually makes two mistakes here, which is bad even for him.
1. Cole says this was when Goldberg had been undefeated for a year. You would know this is wrong because about half an hour ago, Cole showed us Goldberg’s debut in September 1997.
2. Cole says Goldberg was the first undefeated WCW World Champion. Save for Giant of course, who won the title in his debut match.
Point to all this: WWE is bad at wrestling history so you should buy my books about it instead.
Curtis Axel is in Bo’s corner and is the biggest Bo-liever of them all. Dallas is all aggressive to start and knees away on a much smaller looking Neville. He’s clearly lost some muscle, perhaps for a cruiserweight run. Neville misses his running kick to the face but does his an Asai moonsault. Back in and Bo charges into a boot to the face but manages to leg sweep his way out of the Red Arrow’s path. A Roll of the Dice gives Bo the big upset at 2:56. So this is what you get for being arrested on a flight.
Bo beats Axel up post match and holds up the BO-LIEVE IN BO sign.
Bayley vs. Dana Brooke
Dana runs around a bit to start but gets caught in a Stunner over the middle rope. Back in and Dana knees her in the ribs, meaning it’s time for a Ken Bone joke. A chinlock doesn’t last long and Bayley starts with her elbows, followed by a dropkick to the back. Dana sends her face first into the post and…..gets the pin at 4:10. The ending looked a bit odd, as in not the planned ending. I think Dana was supposed to put her feet on the ropes (she was swinging her leg near them) but didn’t get them up there, meaning it was closer to a clean win.
Rating: D+. I was getting into this until the screwy ending. In theory that was designed to set up a rematch at the pay per view but instead it’s basically Dana just beating Bayley in about four minutes. If that’s the case then it makes a lot more sense but this ending hurt things a lot.
Paul Heyman joins us via satellite to say Goldberg isn’t worth Lesnar’s time because it’s a fantasy challenge. It would behoove Goldberg to just not show up tonight because otherwise Lesnar is going to hurt him very badly. The fans chant YES but Heyman says that’s just hurting Goldberg even worse.
Braun Strowman vs. Mile High Trio
The jobbers don’t have names but one of them thinks Strowman will have issues with the altitude. One of the guys has curly hair so Graves says he thought it was No Way Jose’s less intimidating cousin, Perhaps Not Jorge. Strowman throws two of them to the floor and LAUNCHES the third onto his partners. One of the trio tries to leave so Strowman chases him down and throws him back in. A powerslam and reverse chokeslam give Braun a double pin at 2:16.
Strowman says he’s coming to take matters into his hands right now but here’s Sami Zayn to cut him off. Strowman shoves him out to the floor and walks off. At least it’s something for both guys and that’s a good thing.
Sami says he’ll fight Strowman because no one else will.
Here are Rusev and Lana to run down America and its horrible family values. He’s heard about Roman’s family but he doesn’t want to hear about 700 Samoans sitting around a campfire dipping a turkey leg in mayonnaise. As a counter, Rusev, has a photo album of his own family.
This includes his mother (two time world rowing champion), his father (who wrestled in the military), his brother Rusev (Rusev Rusev? Either way he’s a chef.), his grandmother and their award winning dog. Reigns FINALLY comes out to interrupt and is quickly beaten down, allowing Rusev to put Reigns in the Accolade. The fight was good but the family bit ran WAY too long.
Clip of Goldberg debuting in WWE. So he had two big moments in WCW and then he was on Raw? That’s quite the reason to hype him up this much.
Emmalina video.
Big Cass vs. Karl Anderson
Cass erupts on Anderson in the corner and sends him flying with a fall away slam. Back in after a quick brawl with the partners and it’s the East River Crossing for the pin on Karl at 1:10.
Tony Nese and Drew Gulak agree on some kind of a deal with Brian Kendrick when TJ Perkins comes in. Perkins thinks there’s been a deal made but Kendrick says he doesn’t know how this works. TJ thinks this is WWE2K17 and he has unlimited lives but this is Kendrick’s last life. Cedric Alexander and Rich Swann come in and there’s a six man later. I appreciate the attempt at a story but the delivery was TERRIBLE here.
Earlier today Sasha Banks sat down with Lita. Sasha knows Charlotte will be ready because they’ve fought so many times before. Charlotte needs to know that the show is in Boston though and Sasha will be on her game in her hometown. Sasha is over her back injury and might be a bit intimidated by the Cell but she’s not afraid.
Video on Goldberg winning his second World Title at Unforgiven 2003.
Cedric Alexander/TJ Perkins/Rich Swann vs. Brian Kendrick/Tony Nese/Drew Gulak
Gulak takes Alexander into the corner to start before it’s off to Perkins to slam Nese in the corner. A tornado DDT is countered into a suplex for two on TJ and Kendrick comes in, only to get caught in the kneebar. Back from a break (yes a break in this match at 10:45) with Swann coming in for a hurricanrana as everything breaks down. Nese gives Rich the 450 and the Captain’s Hook is enough for the submission at 7:15.
Rating: C. This match exists and I’m not sure what else there is to say about it. The big takeaway for me is we have a six man tag that people don’t really care about so ALL SIX GOT AN ENTRANCE on a show that is already packed to the gills. Someone needs to map this show out a lot better because it’s only making things better.
The Bosses recap the idea for Survivor Series and make Jericho vs. Owens vs. Rollins for next week. Stephanie LOVES the idea. Foley: “I feel like we have a connection.” Stephanie: “Like the Rock N Sock Connection?”
We see Goldberg’s comments on SportsCenter from two weeks ago.
We see Heyman’s comments from last week.
Cole brings out “the greatest champion in WCW history”. I’ll just let that sink in for a moment as Goldberg gets the big, long walk entrance through the back with everyone applauding him (and the Governor of Colorado being shown on camera chanting his name). Goldberg finally comes out and soaks in some cheers before saying you should never say never again. His wife and son are here to see him for the first time ever.
Back in January, he got a phone call from 2K asking him to promote their new video game. The thing he misses most, other than hurting people, is being a hero for kids. Somewhere along the way, he created some drama around here and maybe it’s better left alone. Fans: “NO!” Goldberg: “BUT THEN!” Fans: “YAY!”
Goldberg talks about Brock having Heyman challenge him to a fight, which made him think he has one more beating left in him. Maybe he has one more spear and Jackhammer in him. That means Brock is next but he’s also last. Goldberg goes around the ring and picks up some kids (including his own) to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. This show was a three hour tease until Goldberg FINALLY showed up to do what pretty much everyone was expecting. Raw is a show that really could use the NXT formula: have an A crew and a B crew and don’t put them on the show every week. There’s so much stuff on here that feels like it’s crammed in because EVERYTHING has to make air every show, leading to a lot of short matches that don’t have time to do anything because we need to move on to something else.
There are a few good things scattered throughout the show but with nothing getting a focus (and the World Champion stuck in the opening segment as a background character while the adults do everything else) until the end, the show was WAY too long and full of stuff that wasn’t interesting, which is the case far too often anymore.
Results
Seth Rollins b. Chris Jericho – Pedigree
Golden Truth/Mark Henry b. Shining Stars/Titus O’Neil – World’s Strongest Slam to O’Neil
Big E. b. Sheamus – Rollup
Bo Dallas b. Neville – Roll of the Dice
Dana Brooke b. Bayley – Ram into the post
Braun Strowman b. Mile High Trio – Reverse chokeslam
Big Cass b. Karl Anderson – East River Crossing
Brian Kendrick/Tony Nese/Drew Gulak b. TJ Perkins/Rich Swann/Cedric Alexander – Captain’s Hook to Swann
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Superstars – September 30, 2016: Now With More People You Won’t See On This Show
Superstars Date: September 30, 2016
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
I don’t normally do this show but I was in the arena live for the taping so I might as well take a look at the show. This was taped before last week’s Monday Night Raw and now serves as the night’s dark matches. Superstars tends to be completely forgotten and there’s a good chance that’s justified. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence, featuring a bunch of people you won’t be seeing on this show.
Sami Zayn vs. Curtis Axel
Not a bad choice to fire up the crowd. Axel takes him down by the arm to start so Sami does his big spin out to escape. Sami’s reverse leapfrog sets up some armdrags into an armbar and the fans are very pleased. Some right hands and a good looking dropkick put Zayn down but Axel spends a bit too much time yelling. The exploder suplex sets up the Helluva Kick to give Sami the pin at 4:40.
Rating: C-. Not much to this one but Sami is the perfect choice to open a show and fire the fans up. There’s just something so easy to cheer about Sami and it hasn’t failed him yet. For the life of me I don’t know why he’s stuck on the midcard treadmill when Smackdown is dying for talent and Zayn can’t even get on Raw most weeks.
We see a long stretch, as in the better part of five minutes, of Roman Reigns vs. Rusev from Raw.
We see Charlotte, Dana Brooke and Sasha Banks’ segment from Raw. This is much closer to being complete so here it is in full.
Here are Charlotte and Dana Brooke for a chat. Charlotte says last night was another chance for everyone to be disappointed because that’s what she does time after time. She’s not the huggable Bayley or the internet darling Sasha Banks. Cue Sasha to say that’s her title because Charlotte didn’t beat her last night. Sasha is owed a one on one match and she wants it right now. Charlotte tells the YESing fans to be quiet so she can tell Sasha that she’ll get her rematch….next week. Sasha cleans house and the villains leave.
Neville vs. Jinder Mahal
This would be another option that could have picked the crowd up during Raw but nah, we needed three minutes of Stephanie yelling at Foley instead. To no one’s surprise, Mahal comes out to crickets. Neville grabs a headlock to start as we hear about Mahal talking trash about NXT stars coming up through the ranks. So yeah, this actually has a story to it. Mahal’s armbar doesn’t do much to shake his image of being really boring so Neville handsprings across the ring and hits something like a hurricanrana. The tease of a dive scares Mahal to the barricade and we take a break.
Back with Mahal missing a charge and falling outside again, only to have him send Neville ribs first into the apron. A basement dropkick puts Neville down and a big boot to the face gets two. Neville comes back with his series of kicks, including a big one to knock Mahal out of the air. The Red Arrow puts Mahal away at 8:55.
Rating: D. I don’t know how many more ways I can say Mahal is boring but it’s the biggest problem with so many wrestlers today. There’s no real character there and his in ring abilities aren’t enough to make me want to watch anything he does. This was longer than it needed to be with Neville doing what he could but having nothing to work with in Mahal.
Most of Kevin Owens on the Highlight Reel (minus anything with Enzo and Cass) ends the show.
It’s time for the Highlight Reel. Jericho tells us to be quiet about a dozen times because this is the most anticipated Highlight Reel in WWE history. Before Owens comes out here though, Jericho has a bone to pick with Masterson and Kutchner, who have the nerve to claim that they’re better friends. Jericho: “THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!” That’s so unthinkable that they’re both about to make the List of Jericho.
It’s almost time for Owens to come out but Jericho yells at the cameraman for shooting him from the wrong side, which means HE MADE THE LIST! Rollins is on there too because he got hurt again last night. Owens comes out and praises the Jeritron 5000 but says he’s not about to wear a suit for a place like Cincinnati, Ohio. What kind of town can this be when it created Dean Ambrose? Jericho: “HE STILL OWES ME $17,000!” Owens moves on to Rollins and says the rib injury is karma after all the people Seth injured over the last year and a half. Cue Rollins but security and Foley pull him back.
Overall Rating: D+. I see why I don’t watch this show most of the time. It’s basically just a long recap show with some dark matches filling in the gaps. That being said, there’s a reason this is little more than D level programming to fill in time on the Network and to satisfy international commitments. It was fine enough but nothing worth going out of your way to see whatsoever.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Monday Night Raw – September 19, 2016: It’s Like A Little League Movie
Monday Night Raw Date: September 19, 2016
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
It’s the go home show for Clash of Champions as we now go two weeks between single brand pay per views. The big stories coming into tonight seem to be Mick Foley punishing Seth Rollins for interfering in last week’s main event and the return of Rusev, who came back last week to go after Roman Reigns. Let’s get to it.
Last Week on Raw, Kevin Owens beat Reigns to retain the title despite interference by Rollins and thanks to help from Rusev.
Here’s Reigns to get things going but Stephanie McMahon cuts him off, only to have Mick Foley cut her off. Stephanie: “FOLEY! FOLEY! FOLEY!” Thank you Stephanie, though we didn’t need your input. Foley apologizes for letting things get out of hands last week and makes Rusev vs. Rollins for tonight. On the other hand, Reigns will be getting a US Title shot against Rusev on Sunday. Stephanie: “And I personally guarantee it will happen.” Reigns: “Thanks Stephanie. That means so much coming from you.” I might have applauded that line.
Foley goes into a discussion of Raw vs. Smackdown and says he’s out of a job if they lose the ratings war. That means Kevin Owens vs. Reigns again tonight. This brings out Owens to say he should be getting ready for the title match on Sunday. Stephanie says tonight is non-title but Foley makes it a cage match.
After a break, Stephanie and Foley are in the back when Rusev comes up to plug Lana’s movie (Interrogation, with Edge) and Holy Foley. Rusev leaves and Foley gets a call from Chris Jericho.
Rusev vs. Seth Rollins
Non-title. Rusev starts in with his variety of kicks but gets dropkicked out to the floor for his efforts. Rollins is sent back first into the post and a hard whip sends him back first into the buckle for good measure. Some right hands stagger Rusev as Rollins looks so at home as a face. Unfortunately he’s not quite at home on the top as Rusev slams him down with one arm to take us to a break.
Back with Seth fighting out of a waistlock and hitting a quick enziguri for a breather. There’s the Sling Blade to keep Rusev in trouble and Rollins muscles him over for a Falcon Arrow. Rusev comes right back with a superkick to the shoulder (even Cole acknowledges how off it was) for two of his own. Seth gets in the springboard knee and a suicide dive. They fight up the aisle and that’s a double countout at 11:52.
Rating: C+. Oh sweet goodness is Rollins perfect as a face. His size makes him as natural of a good guy as you can get and I still don’t know why they brought him back as a heel other than to make sure Reigns stayed a face. Well, as much of a face as Reigns ca be in the fans’ eyes.
Post match they fight over to the announcers’ table where Seth escapes a powerbomb and dives off the table to take Rusev out.
Dana Brooke yells at Foley about last week’s double pin. The solution: ANOTHER FREAKING TRIPLE THREAT MATCH. Can you imagine if there were this many last man standing matches or cage matches? Almost every story has to wind up as a triple threat at some point and it’s getting really, really tiresome.
Videos on Cedric Alexander and Brian Kendrick, both of whom are debuting as cruiserweights tonight.
Owens and Jericho have a list of grievances for Foley.
Braun Strowman vs. Sin Cara
Rematch from two weeks ago. Cara fires away right hands and kicks to start until Strowman just runs him over like a monster. We hit an early neck crank for a bit before Cara tries to speed things up, only to have his moonsault caught in a powerslam for the pin at 1:54. What in the world was the point of the countout a few weeks ago?
Bayley and Sasha Banks are ready to team together tonight but they’ll fight on Sunday.
Charlotte/Dana Brooke vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks
Sasha rolls Dana up to start before it’s off to Bayley, who sends Charlotte into the buckle and us to a break. Back with Bayley in trouble as the heels take turns cranking on her arms. Bayley gets in a back elbow and middle rope armdrag, allowing the tag to Sasha for a double suplex. Charlotte is smart enough to go after the huge tape around Sasha’s ribs. It’s back to Dana to send Sasha face first into the mat a few times. A headscissors puts Charlotte down and the real hot tag brings in Bayley. Dana saves the Bayley to Belly though and it’s a big boot from Charlotte for the pin on Bayley at 11:09.
Rating: C. Perfectly acceptable formula tag match here with the rib injury giving it an easy story and Charlotte getting some momentum heading into the title match after losing for weeks leading into the title defense. It’s always fun to see the women having the same kind of match you would expect from the men with the only exception being their genders. The lack of PUPPIES chants probably helps a lot too.
Seth goes into Stephanie’s office. After a break, Rollins asks Stephanie why she threw him away for Owens. Stephanie says she had nothing to do with HHH (and since she’s apparently not asked her husband about this once) but it was Seth who allowed the title to go to her brother’s show. Maybe HHH was tired of Seth ruining HHH’s reputation (which has a street value of about $14). Seth is going to prove that the Authority put their money on the wrong horse. Stephanie gets all serious (of course) and orders him to not threaten her.
Bo Dallas vs. Gary Graham
Bo does more serious poetry about how only he can believe in himself. It’s another quick beatdown with knees and right hands as the fans chant for the jobber. The Roll of the Dice ends Graham at 1:18.
Video on the Cruiserweight Classic final.
Cesaro vs. Sheamus
Match six in the best of seven series with Cesaro down 3-2 and let’s get this over with. They slug it out to start and Cesaro flips out of an early backdrop attempt. Sheamus sends him outside and we take a break. Back with Cesaro hitting the uppercut train to knock Sheamus over the barricade and next to some Memphis Grizzlies’ feet.
Cesaro can’t do the apron superplex though and gets caught in White Noise onto the apron. The Brogue Kick misses but Cesaro walks into the Irish Curse for two. Sheamus grabs the Cloverleaf but gets small packaged for two. A rollup with feet on the ropes gets the same on Cesaro before he ducks the Brogue Kick and Neutralizes Sheamus for the pin at 9:40.
Rating: C-. The same problems that have plagued this stupid series for a month are still around here and I won’t bother going over them again. This would have been a lot better if the last three or four matches had a gimmick or something but the fact that we’re heading to a seventh match and nothing has changed really isn’t interesting.
Foley makes the seventh match for Clash of Champions when Jericho comes in. Jericho accuses him of never being a fan but Foley brings up recommending him to Paul Heyman for ECW. Chris has his List of Jericho (list of grievances), which now includes a bad fashion sense. As you might expect, Foley brings up the scarf look. Jericho: “This is very big in Luxemburg.” Foley: “Well it looks ridiculous, right here, in Memphis, Tennessee.” Jericho: “Number six: Uses cheap babyface pops.”
It’s time for Jericho’s list of grievances. First up: Foley is trying to drive a wedge between Jericho and Owens. A fan yells at him so Jericho adds “brace face in row twelve”. We get to the Sami Zayn phone attack last week but here are Enzo and Cass to interrupt. Cass lists off some great friendships, including Bevis and Butthead and Ashton Kutcher and Danny Masterson.
Cue the Shining Stars to offer some time shares. This brings out the New Day with Kofi saying they have a very good reason to be out here. Big E.: “We have nothing better to do.” Woods promises to keep the titles on Sunday so here are Anderson and Gallows to interrupt. Jericho says everyone in the ring is on his stupid idiot list but here’s Sami because we need a tenth guy for the huge tag match.
Shining Stars/Chris Jericho/Anderson and Gallows vs. Enzo and Cass/Sami Zayn/New Day
We start after a break with Kofi spinning into a crossbody for two on Jericho. It’s off to Sami vs. Epico before Big E. comes in for his spanking abdominal stretch. Anderson comes in and catches Kofi with a spinebuster as the bad guys take over. That lasts all of thirty seconds before the hot tag brings in Big Cass to clean house. The Empire Elbow gets two on Primo as everything breaks down. Sami runs the corner for his tornado DDT and there’s a Helluva Kick to Primo. The Bada Boom Shaka Lacka is enough for the pin on Primo at 5:24.
Rating: D+. This is as simple of a way as you’re going to find to do three matches in one on a show where Stephanie needs ten segments. I’m assuming Enzo and Cass get their win back on Sunday’s pre-show and that’s fine enough of a way to end such a nothing feud. Enzo and Cass have to fight New Day sometime and they’d be fine to take the belts away, especially since New Day is less than three months away from Demolition’s record.
We recap the opening segment.
Videos on Gran Metalik and Rich Swann.
Video on Eddie Guerrero in honor of Hispanic Heritage Month.
Here’s Foley to introduce the cruiserweights. After screwing up a few of his lines, Foley talks about the Cruiserweight Classic and introduces Rich Swann, Gran Metalik, Cedric Alexander and Brian Kendrick. Foley makes the first match: a fatal fourway for the shot at TJ Perkins’ Cruiserweight Title on Sunday.
Rich Swann vs. Gran Metalik vs. Cedric Alexander vs. Brian Kendrick
One fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start since there are no tags, eventually leaving us with Kendrick and Alexander. Brian bails to the floor but gets kicked in the face so Alexander sunset flips Metalik for two. A springboard clothesline gets two more on Metalik but Swann comes back in to kick Cedric in the back.
Swann and Alexander trade strikes and miss kicks until Cedric flips out of a headscissors. A big flip dive takes Kendrick down and it’s only Metalik in the ring. You know what that means as Metalik dives onto everyone, finally drawing a reaction from the crowd. Kendrick breaks up Metalik’s springboard and throws Swann and Alexander into various objects. A few kicks to Swann’s leg take us to a break.
Back with Alexander breaking up Swann’s cover on Metalik but Kendrick grabs a tornado DDT for two of his own on Metalik. Swann’s jumping 450 looks to finish Alexander but Kendrick grabs his Captain’s Hook (bully choke) on Cedric, only to have Metalik make the save. A Lumbar Check drops Metalik and the Captain’s Hook makes Alexander tap and sends Kendrick to the title shot at 15:04.
Rating: C-. Blame it on whomever you want but this fell apart because of the time. This should have been about people flying all over the place and keeping things moving. You know, like a cruiserweight match. Instead it was your run of the mill WWE multi-man match with WAY too much time and the fans just dying throughout. The guys ran out of things to do and then had six or seven minutes to go. Horrible booking decision here and odds are it’s more of the same bickering between Kevin Dunn and HHH’s camps with Kevin trying to shoot down whatever HHH sets up. Oh and the new champ doesn’t even get a cameo? Really?
Nia Jax vs. Alicia Fox on the pre-show.
Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns
Non-title and inside a cage. Reigns slugs away to start but wants nothing of going through the door. The champ gets beaten down in the corner and a running clothesline makes it even worse. A ram into the cage wall sets up a superkick for two on Roman and we take a break. Back with Owens getting crotched on the top and getting crushed up against the cage a few times.
Reigns’ clotheslines have Owens in trouble but he has to Superman punch his way out of a Pop Up Powerbomb. The second attempt at the powerbomb gets two for Owens and they go to the top rope for some rams into the cage. Both guys are down and Reigns sprints up the cage to get outside before Owens can go through the door for the win at 13:17.
Rating: D+. Not only was it boring and not only was there no reason for this to be a cage match but Reigns winning makes Owens’ big problem even worse: he feels like someone who is just there while Stephanie has her issues with Foley/Rollins/Smackdown or whatever disease she’s so passionate about that week. This should have been Rusev coming out and costing Reigns the match and then doing the beatdown that we all know is coming. But no, instead Reigns is the big star and Owens is just another loser.
Post match, Rusev comes out and locks the door so he can put Reigns in the Accolade. You know, because THERE’S NO WAY REIGNS COULD EVER GET OVER A CAGE WALL. Rollins comes out and does the big dive off the top (reminiscent of Rey Mysterio in the early days of the first Brand Split), not even bothering to look at the door because THERE ISN’T A ROOF ON THE CAGE. Everyone is down to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. It’s just too long and I don’t know how many other ways there are to say that. Whether it’s seeing Sheamus vs. Cesaro week after week after week or the cruiserweights’ debut being one of the biggest messes I’ve seen in a long time or even more Stephanie and Foley hijinks, these shows feel like they’re going on for days instead of three hours. These shows are too long and the matches and promos having to be stretched out to fill in the time shows worse every week.
Then there’s the main feud as it feels like Stephanie’s latest promo about her power struggle (which DOESN’T EXIST) should end Sunday’s show instead of Owens vs. Rollins. It’s like watching some kids movie about rival Little League teams where the parents are more into the fighting than the adults and that’s getting really, really annoying.
Just let HHH come back and do the match with Rollins at Survivor Series like they should, rather than stretching this ALL THE WAY TO FREAKING WRESTLEMANIA BECAUSE HHH IS WORTHY OF THE BIG STAGE. That main event and these stupid angles ticked me off tonight like they haven’t in a long, long time and that’s not good for any show, especially when they’re heading into a pay per view.
Results
Rusev vs. Seth Rollins went to a double countout
Braun Strowman b. Sin Cara – Powerslam
Charlotte/Dana Brooke b. Bayley/Sasha Banks – Big boot to Bayley
Cesaro b. Sheamus – Neutralizer
New Day/Enzo and Big Cass/Sami Zayn b. Shining Stars/Chris Jericho/Anderson and Gallows – Bada Boom Shaka Lacka to Primo
Brian Kendrick b. Gran Metalik, Rich Swann and Cedric Alexander – Captain’s Hook to Alexander
Roman Reigns b. Kevin Owens – Reign escaped the cage
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Monday Night Raw – September 12, 2016: Third Hour Blues
Monday Night Raw Date: September 12, 2016
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Corey Graves
Raw’s woes begin again this week as there’s a double header of Monday Night Football tonight. The company is countering with Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens and if Reigns wins, he’s added to the Raw World Title match at Clash of Champions. In theory this should involve some Rusev interference but that might be a bit too much common sense. Let’s get to it.
We open with Last Week on Raw with Seth Rollins turning face and getting a title shot at the pay per view.
Opening sequence.
Mick Foley is in the ring to talk about the main event and to introduce Charlotte with Dana Brooke. Charlotte brow beats Dana for the loss to Bayley and is trying to get the records change to say that Dana lost last week. Dana tries to apologize but Mick cuts them off to talk about Clash of Champions. This brings out Sasha to say she’s taking the title at the pay per view.
Before that can go anywhere, here’s Bayley to interrupt as well. She would love to see Sasha get a title shot tonight but Bayley beat the champ last week so maybe she should get a title shot instead. Charlotte laughs this off and says Sasha doesn’t get to pick when the title is defended.
Mick does though and suggests that we need a #1 contender. Dana suggests another best of seven series but Charlotte threatens to slap the taste out of her mouth. That goes nowhere though as Mick makes Sasha vs. Bayley for the #1 contendership tonight. Dana slaps Charlotte before anyone can realize how stupid it is to waste Sasha vs. Bayley here, earning her a spot in the #1 contenders match as well.
Bayley vs. Sasha Banks vs. Dana Brooke
The winner gets the title shot at Clash of Champions and Charlotte is on commentary. Bayley is quickly sent outside and Sasha is sent outside to follow, allowing Bayley to roll Dana up for two. Dana gets beaten down and pulled to the floor, leaving us with a showdown as we take a break. Back with Dana cranking on Bayley’s arms as you can really see that they’re protecting Sasha by letting the other two do the bulk of the work.
Sasha comes back in and loads up the double knees, only to put Bayley underneath her. Bayley moves and Dana takes the full thing, leaving Bayley to go up top for the high crossbody. The Tower of Doom plants Dana and it’s off to the Bank Statement. Bayley makes the save and hits the Bayley to Belly on Dana, only to have Sasha roll Bayley up for the pin at 12:14. Ignore Sasha’s shoulders being down on the rollup and Bayley’s feet being on top of her.
Rating: C+. Sasha hiding and bad ending aside, this was about what you would want out of these three in a triple threat. Well aside from Bayley getting pinned of course. You know maybe I have more problems with this match than I was thinking. I’m not sure why you don’t have Dana take the fall here but at least it wasn’t Sasha vs. Bayley one on one.
Post break Dana apologizes to Charlotte but the champ just tells her to get the bags. Was that slap already erased from existence?
The Shining Stars offer R-Truth a time share in Puerto Rico. Truth: “YAHTZEE!” Goldust comes in before the payment goes through though and here are Enzo and Cass to say last week’s loss wasn’t fair. Spanish is spoken and I think the challenge is accepted.
Kevin Owens calls HHH his mentor and says Roman Reigns doesn’t belong in the same ring as the champ. Tonight he’ll make sure Seth Rollins is all alone at Clash of Champions. Chris Jericho comes in to say he’ll be having Sami Zayn on the Highlight Reel tonight, even though he’s a stupid idiot.
Bo Dallas vs. Brandon Scott
Bo says he can only believe in himself. Brandon is sent into the corner and taken down by three straight gutbusters. A Roll of the Dice ends Scott at 1:13. Why are they making Bo better than he’s been since he debuted after that big ordeal a few weeks back?
It’s time for the Highlight Reel with promises of some hard hitting journalism. Jericho was excited about the idea of interviewing Kevin Owens, who is so handsome that Tom Cruise and/or Brad Pitt could play him in their life story movie. Instead he gets Sami Zayn, who is the lowest of the low. Jericho laughs at Sami for not even having Owens’ new phone number but Sami is amazed that Jericho brought him out here to talk about Owens. Zayn loves the idea that Jericho buys into what Owens says and he only cares about that Universal Title.
That doesn’t fly with Jericho so he takes credit for Sami and Owens wanting to be where they are today. Sami goes into a rant about how it was people like Eddie Guerrero who paved the way for him and now Jericho, a former World Champion, is just Kevin’s lackey. Jericho offers to show Sami a text from Kevin but breaks his phone over Sami’s head, likely setting up a match at the Clash.
Sheamus vs. Cesaro
Match #5 in the Best of 7 Series with Cesaro down 3-1. Sheamus hits him in the bad back to start and sends Cesaro into the corner a few times. A quick running uppercut looks to set up the Sharpshooter but Sheamus bails to the floor. More uppercuts give Cesaro two and we take a break. Back with Cesaro having to fight out of an over the shoulder backbreaker and hitting the high crossbody for two.
It’s too early for the Cloverleaf so Cesaro comes back with the springboard corkscrew uppercut for another near fall. White Noise is countered into the Sharpshooter but Cesaro’s back won’t let him get the hold on full. The Swing doesn’t work either and Sheamus gets two off the Irish Curse. The High Cross is broken up and Cesaro grabs a rollup with his foot on the ropes for the pin at 9:57.
Rating: C-. I’m not even going to bother complaining about how long this feud has been going. The cheating really doesn’t do anything for Cesaro other than keeping this thing going even longer but of course no one is going to say anything about it because that would make too much sense. The matches aren’t even bad as much as they’re just there at this point and that’s a lot bigger of a problem.
Seth Rollins comes in to see Mick Foley and accuses him of just being there to do whatever Stephanie wants him to do. Mick is really not happy with that and yells about it, only to have Rollins suggest that Mick is lost in all this.
Alicia Fox vs. Nia Jax
This is over Nia hurting Alicia’s friend last week. Nia says she doesn’t do crazy. Fox is sent into the corner for the required shoulders to the ribs and they head outside. Nia drives her back first into the post and then tosses her into the barricade a few times. A spear sends Alicia through the barricade and the match is stopped at about 2:00.
Here’s New Day to say that last week Gallows and Anderson tried to be entertaining. Woods: “DO NOT TOUCH OUR THING!” They load up the Old Day footage but say there’s no way we’re showing that again. That skit was so bad that it made everyone lose five minutes and thirty seven seconds of their lives. That time could have been spent watching Baltimore Ravens highlights (Big E: “Are we pandering now?”) or poured a big old bowl of BootyO’s. Anderson and Gallows come out to say they’ll win the titles and that’s about it. If WWE is telling you that one of their segments bombed, you can really tell it was bad.
Anderson and Gallows vs. New Day
Non-title with Kofi and Woods for the champs. This is joined in progress with Woods working on Anderson’s arm before it’s off to Kofi for a top rope stomp. Thankfully that lets us ignore the stupid line with the commentators comparing Anderson and Gallows to Demolition. Gallows comes I and throws Kofi to the floor before just kicking him in the face.
We hit the chinlock from Anderson as the announcers say the Smackdown Tag Team Champions aren’t in the same league as these teams. True but I wish they wouldn’t try to set up a brand vs. brand story yet. Kofi finally kicks away and makes the tag to Woods for some house cleaning, including the Honor Roll for two on Karl. The slugout actually goes to Xavier and the bottom rope tornado DDT sets up a top rope elbow. Gallows remembers he’s in the match and makes the save, setting up the Magic Killer to end Woods at 9:29.
Rating: C. This was 100% course correction for Anderson and Gallows as they turn into exactly what they should have been the whole time instead of whatever unfunny comedy they’ve been doing over the last few weeks. Nothing to see here for the most part but they’re going with a simple story instead of something that was embarrassing everyone involved.
Roman Reigns is ready to fight and wants to be at Clash of Champions.
Jinder Mahal vs. Jack Swagger
Mahal is now The Man That Comes In Peace and talks about spending time in monasteries to get rid of his hatred. They slug it out to start with Mahal actually getting the better of it until they head outside with Swagger fighting back. Back in and a running knee to the face gets two on Jack. Swagger runs the ropes a few times before just stopping and elbowing Mahal in the face. The Vader Bomb misses and a running neckbreaker ends Swagger at 3:20.
Rating: D-. I’m trying to figure out if this was a bigger waste of time than last week’s Anderson and Gallows segment. The definition of “we hired him because he’s a warm body” just beat the least intimidating former World Champion this side of Vince Russo and WWE actually thinks we’re going to be interested in seeing where this goes. The cruiserweights can’t get here fast enough.
Connor’s Cure video.
Tom Phillips asks Swagger about his soon to expire contract but Jack walks away.
Enzo Amore vs. Epico
Enzo offers to plant some flowers in Epico’s, ahem, soil, after he knocks Epico out. We hear more about the Puerto Rico resort, which Graves has been able to visit. Sure the hotel is under construction and his room only had three walls but the beaches were nice. Epico rolls some suplexes and gets two off a delayed vertical. Enzo comes back and goes to the top, only to spend too much time dancing. Cass kicks Primo in the face but gets taken down by a suicide dive. That allows Enzo to come off the top with a dive but a suplex over the apron sets up the Bobby Heenan finish with Primo holding the foot so Epico can get the pin at 3:20.
Rating: D. This show always suffers from a really bad stretch in the third hour and this is no exception. We’ve had back to back bad matches featuring stories of people who don’t belong on this show being pushed for the simple reason of the show is three hours long and they don’t have enough talent to fill everything in. A lot of these people need to be repackaged or replaced because this stuff isn’t going to save them against football.
Rollins cuts Owens off in the back and says he hopes this stays a one on one match because he’d love nothing more than to beat up HHH’s little golden boy. Owens thinks that’s funny because Seth probably wants someone to do the work so he can steal the pin. Seth has always had a bunch of people doing his work for him, including HHH. All Seth has done is fail since he came back (Always remember: winning the title doesn’t matter. DEFENDING THE TITLE MATTERS!) while Owens won the title in his first chance.
Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens
Non-title. Owens takes it outside to start so Reigns hits him in the face a few times. A slingshot kick to the jaw makes things worse for the champ but he takes Reigns down and slaps on a chinlock. Reigns fights up and gets booed some more, only to have Owens bail outside to avoid the Superman Punch. The Punch off the apron is blocked with a superkick and Owens sends him into the post as we go to a break.
Back with Owens holding another chinlock as this show somehow loses even more energy. Reigns finally fights out of it and they head outside again, only to have Rollins come out to attack Owens for the DQ at 13:14. Foley sends out the referees to get rid of Rollins but THE MATCH MUST CONTINUE! Back in and they slug it out with Reigns taking over off a Samoan drop. A bite under the arm (that’s a new one) breaks up a superplex and the spinning superplex gets two for the champ.
The Cannonball misses as this match just keeps going. Roman gets two off the Superman Punch but stops to send Owens into the post. The champ comes back with a pair of Cannonballs but Reigns jumps over the Pop Up Powerbomb. Cue Rusev for a distraction though (it’s about time) and the Pop Up Powerbomb ends Reigns at 23:21 (including the time between the DQ and the restart).
Rating: B. The ending was the exactly right call and it made me feel a lot better after not enjoying the match nearly as much as I should have. This was a good back and forth brawl but they were out there too long at the end of an already long show. Rusev vs. Reigns and Owens vs. Rollins are the right calls though and that makes a lot of things better.
Rusev beats Roman up to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. The main event did this show a lot of favors as it rolled over and died at the start of the third hour. I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to have Jinder Mahal and the Shining Stars in back to back segments but the show lost everything it had built up in the previous two hours. This wasn’t the worst show in the world but it’s the Raw Special: it would have been a good two hour show but the extra hour ruined whatever it could have been.
Results
Sasha Banks b. Bayley and Dana Brooke – Rollup to Bayley
Bo Dallas b. Brandon Scott – Roll of the Dice
Cesaro b. Sheamus – Rollup with foot on the ropes
Nia Jax vs. Alicia Fox went to a no content when Jax speared Fox through the barricade
Anderson and Gallows b. New Day – Magic Killer to Woods
Jinder Mahal b. Jack Swagger – Running neckbreaker
Epico b. Enzo Amore – Pin with Primo holding Amore’s foot
Kevin Owens b. Roman Reigns – Pop Up Powerbomb
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Monday Night Raw – September 5, 2016: A Labor Of Boredom
Monday Night Raw Date: September 5, 2016
Location: Sprint Center Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
We’re in the Kevin Owens Era but the questions remain focused on HHH, who helped Owens win the title last week while also costing Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns at the same time. This almost has to set up a big match in the very near future though it’s really not clear gets to fight whom. Let’s get to it.
The opening video looks at the last five minutes of Raw and focuses on the big online reaction.
Earlier today Stephanie McMahon demanded a big celebration for Owens. Mick Foley came up and looked really upset. Last week, HHH made him look like a fool and Stephanie won’t talk to him about it. Stephanie gets all serious when Foley accuses her of knowing what HHH was going to do. Stephanie: “Who do you think you’re talking to?” Oh here we go.
Foley actually cuts her off and tells a story about meeting Stephanie just after he flew off the Cell in 1998 and thought she was an innocent girl. Stephanie almost sounds vulnerable as she asks how she can maintain a shred of dignity after what happened last week. Mick believes her but gives a thinly veiled threat if this is all a lie.
Opening sequence.
Mick and Stephanie are in the ring and welcome Owens (in a SUIT) as the balloons fall and pyro goes off. Owens agrees that he does deserve this before ripping into the fans for making it all about themselves with the YOU DESERVE IT chants. He’s known that since the day he set foot in this ring and doesn’t need the fans to tell him that all over again. Last week he beat three superstars to win this title and yeah he got a little nudge from HHH.
Owens had already done 98% of the work though so tonight it’s officially the Kevin Owens Show. This brings out a ticked off Rollins to say this isn’t about Owens. Instead he goes off on Stephanie for letting him down last week. Owens says this isn’t about Seth but Rollins keeps going on his rampage and says everyone is in Stephanie’s pocket. Kevin has been HHH’s chosen one since the day he debuted in NXT but Seth is here to burn the whole thing to the ground.
Owens thinks Rollins has only been making plans for failures so Seth punches him in the face. Stephanie suspends Seth indefinitely but Foley immediately overturns it, drawing him one of the loudest pops he’s gotten in years. Instead of suspending him, Foley gives Seth (Foley to Seth: “I’ve never really liked you.”) the title match at Clash of the Champions.
This was good stuff for the most part, assuming you can ignore HHH helping Rollins last week not being brought up. Rollins seemingly turning face (or at least starting it off) is a really good thing and WAY overdue but it certainly seems to be a slower burn than a full on version. Either way, Clash just got a lot better looking on paper.
After a break, Stephanie and Foley are yelling at each other (Stephanie’s third appearance in twenty three minutes) when Owens comes up. Foley gives him a match against Sami Zayn, which draws in Jericho. Chris gets in a hilarious line by calling Owens the longest reigning Universal Champion in history. That earns him a match against Rollins later.
Charlotte vs. Bayley
Non-title and Charlotte has given Dana a clipboard to take notes. Bayley starts in on the arm and throws some Japanese armdrags, only to have Charlotte send her face first into the buckle. That just fires Bayley up and she sends Charlotte into the buckles a few times instead. Charlotte heads outside and Bayley tries a dropkick under the ropes (think Sami’s diving DDT) but leaves it way short, leaving her to just kick Charlotte in the chest instead. Bayley is favoring her knee as we go to a break.
Back with Charlotte holding the figure four neck lock and actually getting two off a rollup. Charlotte slams the bad leg into the corner and then wraps it around the leg. That sets up a half crab and DDT on the knee but Bayley grabs a rollup to break the momentum. Some limping ax handles to the chest have Charlotte in trouble but Dana pulls Charlotte out of the way of an elbow. Somehow that’s not a DQ so Bayley kicks Charlotte into Dana and hits the Bayley to Belly for the pin at 12:40.
Rating: C+. The important thing here is the time. This match worked because it had some time to set up the leg injury and the ending made sense (save for ANOTHER lack of a disqualification) due to the extra focus it received. You can’t do anything important in a four minute match and it helped so much to actually let this thing go somewhere for a change. Good stuff and the PPV rematch is obvious.
Connor’s Cure video for children’s cancer awareness month.
Charlotte yells at Dana, who promises to make up for it. That earns her one heck of a slap in the face.
Bo Dallas vs. Kyle Roberts
Bo is all serious here despite holding up a BELIEVE IN BO sign (please don’t let this be ANOTHER political themed character) He takes Roberts down and hammers away before snapping off some knees to the face. A Roll of the Dice (as Cole described it) puts Roberts away in 38 seconds.
Owens and Jericho fire each other up.
Chris Jericho vs. Seth Rollins
Rollins starts fast with a dropkick and sends Jericho outside for a suicide dive. Oh yeah he’s wrestling like a face. Back in and Jericho slaps him a few times as the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for. Jericho sends him face first into the buckle and we take a break. Back with Rollins hammering away and getting two off the Sling Blade. A Blockbuster gets the same and Rollins might as well have a big sign saying YEP I’M A FACE NOW around his neck.
Rollins dropkicks him out of the air but gets caught in the Walls. That goes as far as you would expect and Rollins’ low superkick gets two. Rollins gets caught on top but still shoves Jericho off, only to miss the frog splash. The Lionsault gets a close two as this is really picking up. The Codebreaker is broken up and a Pedigree puts Jericho away at 13:47.
Rating: B. Anyone who has watched Rollins for years now has known he would be an awesome face and that’s certainly what you got here. Rollins looked great out there and he’s just so easy to cheer with this offense. I don’t think he gets the title back at Clash but it’s going to be fun watching him in this new role.
Cesaro vs. Sheamus
Match #3 in the series with Cesaro down 2-0 and coming in with a bad shoulder/back. Cesaro grabs some rollups for early near falls but a backdrop has him in trouble. Sheamus sends the back into the apron and drives in some knees. The Cloverleaf is blocked but Sheamus grabs four straight Irish Curses for a near fall. With that not working, Sheamus lifts him up for the Celtic Cross but drops it down into a backbreaker. The Brogue Kick makes it 3-0 to Sheamus at 4:06.
Rating: C. Well that happened and I really don’t care. Thank goodness the fourth match is at a house show on Wednesday so I don’t have to put up with seeing them again that many times. The back injury is fine but my goodness I’ve seen enough of these matches for my lifetime. It really feels like a way to give the writers a month off and that gets old in a hurry.
Shining Stars vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass
Before the match, Enzo thinks he’s in labor so Cass, who has watched a lot of ER, performs Lamaze with HOW YOU DOING replacing the “hoo hoo” part. Enzo and Cass take over to start and it’s off to a quick break. Back with Enzo in trouble but avoiding a Primo charge and making the hot tag off to Cass. The Bada Boom Shaka Lacka is broken up and Epico rolls Enzo up with a handful of trunks at 7:05. Too much was in the break to rate but I’d again like to point out that NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE SHINING STARS.
Sami Zayn says his career has been stuck in place since he beat Owens, who is now the Universal Champion. Owens comes in and laughs at the idea that Sami is chasing him now. The race will never be over and Sami says he’ll win the title on his own, without HHH handing it to him on a silver platter.
Nia Jax vs. Ann Esposito
Apparently Ann is friends Alicia Fox. Nia throws her around to start but gets caught in a sleeper to actually put her in trouble. That earns Ann a ram into the corner and a throw to the mat, followed by three straight Umaga attacks in the corner. A fireman’s carry into a powerslam (with a pause before the powerslam) ends Ann at 1:38.
It’s time for Anderson and Gallows to not be funny. Now they’re retirement specialists who have already gotten rid of the Dudley Boyz, so now let’s welcome the OLD DAY. Cue some New Day impersonators (one on a motorized scooter, one on a walker and one on a cane) to a slow motion version of their theme. The crowd is just silent for this as the Old Day says everything changed for them at Clash of Champions. We get every old person joke you can imagine, including Big E.’s hips going out as he does the swivel.
Cue the real New Day to ask which X-Man is their favorite. For some reason it’s Cyclops…..which isn’t all that funny. Kofi thinks there’s a paradox taking place here and if the New Day comes into contact with the Old Day, the WWE Universe will explode. Anderson and Gallows bail and dancing ensues, only to have Old Day’s sneak attack completely fail. The old guys are beaten down to finally wrap this up. This went on WAY too long and it just wasn’t very funny.
We look back at the opening sequence.
Darren Young vs. Jinder Mahal
Titus O’Neil is on commentary for reasons of pure torture. Darren gets an early two off a swinging neckbreaker but has to fight out of a chinlock. Titus goes out to ringside as Darren hits the Gut Check for the pin at 2:15.
Darren and Titus fight again after the match.
Alicia Fox checks on her injured friend when Nia Jax, who just happened to be there, shows up and laughs. Total Divas is mentioned and Fox yells a lot while throwing things. Nia just leaves as she goes nuts.
Braun Strowman vs. Sin Cara
Well it’s better than jobber after jobber. Cara is fighting due to Braun ripping off the luchador’s mask last week. A dropkick sends Braun into the corner but he explodes out with a shoulder. We hit the neck crank and nerve hold for a bit before Braun sends him outside. Cara is tossed into the steps but comes back with a dropkick, only to be whipped into the barricade for the countout at 2:11. Are we really going to have to watch this again next week? Really?
Strowman beats Cara up even worse post match.
Here’s Sasha Banks for an announcement. She talks about how every story has an ending before talking about the Divas Revolution. Back in July 2015, Stephanie McMahon (oh yeah) introduced the Divas Revolution and it was a new era without bra and panties matches (which there hadn’t been in YEARS) and no more butterfly title (not for about nine months actually).
This revolution was about every little girl and every person who has been told they’re not enough. She used to collect soda cans to try to save up enough money to come to a WWE event. Sasha starts crying as she talks about being injured at Summerslam and she has an update on her condition. Cue Dana Brooke to say she’s going to use Sasha’s broken body to finish what Charlotte started at Summerslam. Dana goes after Sasha but gets caught in a Bank Statement. The bad news was for Charlotte, who will be facing Sasha at Clash of Champions.
Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens
Non-title. They start slugging it out at the bell and it’s quickly outside with Sami going shoulder first into the barricade. Sami does his moonsault off the barricade (and kicks Owens square in the face) as we take a break. Back with Sami fighting out of a chinlock and sending Owens to the floor for back to back flip dives.
The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two but Owens rolls to the apron before the Helluva Kick. A Stunner over the ropes has Sami in trouble but the half and half suplex gets two on the champ. Sami climbs the ropes but lands on a bad ankle. Owens can’t hit the apron powerbomb so Sami grabs another half and half to drop Kevin on his head. Back in and the ankle gives out again, setting up the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin on Sami at 13:05.
Rating: B-. This was their usual good match but you knew Owens wasn’t going to lose his first match as the champion. Sami will probably get his title match at some point in the future and that’s going to be one heck of a rollercoaster when they finally get there. Good stuff here though but this show is way past saving.
Post match here’s Roman Reigns to a LOUD chorus of booing. Chris Jericho comes out to have Owens’ back but Foley prevents the violence. Next week it’s Roman vs. Owens and if Reigns wins, it’s a triple threat at Clash of the Champions. They had that same booking idea recently on Smackdown and it’s still overdone here. Reigns spears Jericho to let off some steam and end the show.
Overall Rating: D. This show hit a wall in the middle and it just never recovered. That being said, it’s not like they had that much good going on in the first place. I liked the opening sequence and there was some good wrestling in the middle but pretty much everything from Cesaro vs. Sheamus until the main event was just death. Then again this is a holiday show and no one is going to watch it but it gets really tiring watching a badly bloated show with so little effort from the creative side of things.
Results
Bayley b. Charlotte – Bayley to Belly
Bo Dallas b. Kyle Roberts – Roll of the Dice
Seth Rollins b. Chris Jericho – Pedigree
Sheamus b. Cesaro – Brogue Kick
Shining Stars b. Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Nia Jax b. Ann Esposito – Powerslam
Darren Young b. Jinder Mahal – Gut Check
Braun Strowman b. Sin Cara via countout
Kevin Owens b. Sami Zayn – Pop Up Powerbomb
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Monday Night Raw Date: August 22, 2016
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
It’s the night after Summerslam and there’s a lot to talk about, but first and foremost we have no Universal Champion. Finn Balor won the inaugural title last night but was forced to vacate it due to a shoulder injury suffered during the match. Odds are tonight we’ll find out what happens with the title so let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last night’s Universal Title match. Nothing else is mentioned.
Opening sequence.
The announcers tell us about Finn’s injury and the title being vacated. He’ll be out at least SIX months.
The bosses bring out Finn with his arm in a sling. Balor says this title represents a lifetime of sacrifice, including one last night. He has to vacate the title tonight but when he comes back, this title is the first thing he’s coming for. Balor gets a hero’s sendoff but Seth Rollins cuts him off with a huge grin on his face. Rollins calls himself the real winner last night but here’s Sami Zayn to cut him off.
Nothing is said as Chris Jericho comes out as well. He’s followed by Owens, Enzo and Cass (before this segment started I said I’d take a flier and put the belt on Cass) and Reigns. Foley says there’s going to be a series of matches to determine the champion next week. You can imagine how well that’s going over.
Seth Rollins vs. Sami Zayn
Before the bell, Sami looks over at Owens and gets jumped from behind to send us to a break. The match is joined in progress with Sami snapping off a headscissors to put Rollins outside, only to have him start stomping at Zayn in the corner. Back up and Sami springboards off the bottom rope and twists his ankle. Sami says he can keep going and low bridges to the floor, setting up a slingshot flip dive over the top. Seth comes back with the top rope knee to the head and we take a break.
Back with Sami hitting his big clothesline and a sunset bomb out of the corner. The Pedigree doesn’t work as Sami hits the exploder suplex. The Helluva Kick doesn’t work though and Seth stomps on the foot before grabbing a leg lock for….actually not a submission. Sami gets to the ropes but can’t grab a suplex, setting up the Pedigree to give Rollins the pin at 11:53.
Rating: C+. I’m fairly sure that was a fake ankle injury and it’s a testament to what Sami can do with his selling that I’m really not positive. Rollins advancing is fine but it would be nice if Sami could have a story that isn’t Kevin Owens related. The selling worked really well and I love Rollins trying a leg lock instead of just instantly using his regular move. It shows thinking during the match, which is something Rollins should always be doing.
Kevin Owens vs. Neville
So there are going to be some named added. Neville sends him outside to start and hits a 450 off the apron. Another big running flip dive takes Owens down but here’s Chris Jericho for a distraction so Kevin can (not) hit a clothesline to turn Neville inside out. Back with Neville avoiding a frog splash and hitting a middle rope phoenix splash, followed by the deadlift German suplex for two. The Red Arrow misses but Neville enziguris him right back into position. Jericho distracts the referee though and Owens hits the torture rack neckbreaker for the pin at 8:31.
Rating: C+. Oh how I love secondary finishers. It gets so tiring waiting on the one move that can finish a match so switching it up like this is a really nice change of pace. Owens winning here was obvious and there’s nothing wrong with that. The match was fine for the time they had and Neville flying around is always fun.
The title match next week will be a fatal fourway. Is this surprising in the slightest?
Here’s New Day to celebrate holding the Tag Team Titles for 365 days. They thank the fans for the year and it’s time for a unicorn pinata. As I continue to try to understand the concept of a pinata, here are Anderson and Gallows to call this stupid. They point out that New Day lost last night so there needs to be a rematch. Anderson asks Kofi about taking the Magic Killer last night. Kofi: “BIG E! DEFEND ME!” Big E.: “Uh, I got nothing.” It’s Anderson vs. Big E. tonight and that means trombone time.
Karl Anderson vs. Big E.
Joined in progress again with Big E. putting on the abdominal stretch and some rhythmic spanking. Anderson sends him into the corner and starts kicking at the leg, including a running kick to the back of the knee. Big E. powers him up again and throws Anderson over the top. The spear through the ropes is broken up by a knee as the rest of New Day beats on Gallows. Back in and the Big Ending puts Anderson away at 3:34.
Rating: D+. Well that happened. I’m not sure how the champion winning is better than having the challengers get some wins to build momentum but the New Day merchandise is all that matters. New Day holding the titles for a year is amazing but I’m not sure how much longer they can go before it stops being entertaining. Then again I was saying that six months ago.
The Dudley Boyz are saying goodbye tonight so we see a clip of their debut in 1999.
Here’s Titus O’Neil for a chat. Ok ok we’ll stop booing your belt. Titus talks about how New Day beat the Prime Time Players for the belts and rips on Darren Young for holding him out of the main event. People have been blaming Bob Backlund but Titus wants to blame Darren for not being in the main event. No one comes out so the fans ask for Slater again. Cue Bob Backlund at a run to put Titus in a cross face pectoral grab before Titus slams him. Darren runs out (Was he watching the Little League World Series?) and takes the Clash of the Titus while Backlund looks dead.
Video on Lesnar vs. Orton.
Earlier today, Shane said Brock crossed a line. Stephanie says she agrees. End of segment.
We look at Balor vacating the title.
Rusev vs. Big Cass
Non-title, Rusev has bruised ribs and the winner advances to next week. Before the match, Enzo tries to figure out which part of New York City Bulgaria is in. An early clothesline puts Rusev on the floor and we take a break. Back with Cass fighting out of a chinlock before Rusev takes out the leg. Rusev misses the splash though, allowing Cass to hit one of his own in the corner. That sends Rusev outside for a superkick to Enzo, sending Cass into a rage of right hands to the ribs. The bad ribs go into the steps and they trade kicks to the face with Cass getting the better. Rusev falls to the floor and walks out for the countout at 8:23.
Rating: C. Not much to the match here but I’m really pleased with the way they did the booking here. Rusev doesn’t get pinned and they still send Cass on to next week’s title match. Everything works out just fine here and we get a nice hope spot for the title. Oh and they didn’t have Reigns interfere for the obvious ending. Well done again.
Owens and Jericho argue over who can be the next Universal Champion. They do however manage to get Tom’s name wrong over and over.
Here are Charlotte and Dana Brooke to gloat about Charlotte getting the Women’s Title back. Dana does a one woman YOU DESERVE IT chant and Charlotte has to agree. Charlotte says you can forget about Sasha Banks because she did it all by herself last night. Sasha is out with a back injury and now the queen has reclaimed her throne. That’s it but here’s Mick Foley to interrupt.
The boss (Foley, not Sasha), praises Charlotte last night but we have to stop for a WE WANT BAYLEY chant. Mick says Sasha will be back and will get a rematch for the title. That’s fine with Charlotte but there’s no one left for her to face tonight. Foley says not so fast because there are parts of this match that are heartbreaking. There are great moments too though, like signing free agents……like BAYLEY!
We get the big introduction and the HUGGER SECTION signs are out in full force. Bayley can’t believe this is happening but she’s cut off by a YOU DESERVE IT chant. She thanks Mick for the moment and has an idea: how about we seal the deal with a hug, right here in Brooklyn, New York? You know Mick isn’t going to turn that down.
Charlotte laughs this off and plugs Mick’s reality show before saying there’s a reason Bayley stayed in NXT during the Divas Revolution. Bayley says she won’t try to upstage Charlotte but she will challenge her for the Women’s Title. That’s not cool with Charlotte, who says Bayley has to earn it. Unfortunately Charlotte isn’t ready so Dana can face Bayley instead. Mick agrees and the match is on.
Bayley vs. Dana Brooke
Bayley starts fast by sending Dana into the buckle for a near fall but Dana knocks her outside and into the barricade. Back in and Dana works on the leg before just slugging away. Bayley comes back with her variety of elbows and the Bayley to Belly for the pin at 4:32.
Rating: C. The match was unimportant here compared to the pop for her debut which worked as well as they could have imagined. Bayley has long since deserved this spot and while it’s a shame that an injury might have caused her to get to the main roster, she’s a welcome fit here and much better suited to Raw than Smackdown.
Roman Reigns isn’t worried about Kevin Owens.
The cruiserweights arrive September 19.
Sheamus is ready for his next match with Cesaro next week and insults New York sports teams.
Bruan Strowman vs. Johnny Knockout
Knockout says he’s doing this because, and I quote, he likes big sweaty men. Strowman throws him around to start and the reverse chokeslam cut off the LET’S GO JOBBER chants with the pin at 1:19.
Strowman beats him up again and makes the referee count another pin. Ever the professional, the referee waits until Knockout’s shoulder is down.
Here are the Dudley Boyz for their retirement speech. Bubba says they returned a year ago in this ring and it’s been a heck of a year. They’ve had some wins and some losses but now things are changing. D-Von says it’s been a great career with twenty years going up and down the roads with this man here. They had some great matches with teams like Edge and Christian and the Hardys and D-Von would take every one of those shots and falls again tonight.
Bubba has the fans give themselves a round of applause and it’s time to go but here are the Shining Stars to interrupt. They have a going away present for Bubba and D-Von: two tickets (economy class) to Puerto Rico! That alone earns them a beating and we get one last 3D and WAZZUP……before Bubba tells him to get the table. Cue Anderson and Gallows to beat down the Dudleys. D-Von goes through the table via a Magic Killer. I’m actually surprised as I would have bet on that Ray turn.
Roman Reigns vs. Chris Jericho
Final qualifying match. Jericho gets into a chase to start but stops to poke Reigns in the eye as we take a break. Back with Jericho putting the ASK HIM chinlock. Reigns fights back and sends him into the buckle but the Superman Punch is blocked. It’s too early for the Walls so Jericho settles for two off the enziguri instead.
Jericho takes too much time on the top though and gets punched out of the air, setting up the apron boot. Now the Superman Punch connects for two and Jericho’s Codebreaker is easily countered into a sitout powerbomb. Kevin Owens runs out for a distraction to break up the spear but it just earns Jericho another Superman Punch.
The spear is countered into the Walls but Reigns makes the rope. Owens adds a superkick to set up the Codebreaker for two with Saxton telegraphing the near fall by saying Jericho was the fourth man. Can we PLEASE stop doing that? Back up and they trade slaps until Owens has to be punched off the apron. Now the spear connects to send Reigns to the title match at 15:03.
Rating: C+. Again this was fine but you would think Rusev might make an appearance here. Reigns getting in was the only option as you can’t have Cass as the only face in the title match. That being said, Jericho is always a great choice to make anyone look good and that’s what he did here. Fine enough main event here but nothing memorable.
Overall Rating: C. This show was all over the place. I had fun with Bayley debuting and their reaction to the title situation was fine, but there’s basically no reaction to Brock last night and Rusev not interfering in the main event doesn’t make sense. The wrestling wasn’t anything special either, leaving this show square in the middle. Hopefully we get something on Lesnar soon though, because people aren’t going to be pleased with just leaving the main event of Summerslam hanging while we wait for Lesnar to grace us with his presence again.
Results
Seth Rollins b. Sami Zayn – Pedigree
Kevin Owens b. Neville – Torture rack neckbreaker
Big E. b. Karl Anderson – Big Ending
Big Cass b. Rusev via countout
Bayley b. Dana Brooke – Bayley to Belly
Braun Strowman b. Johnny Knockout – Reverse chokeslam
Roman Reigns b. Chris Jericho – Spear
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Monday Night Raw – August 15, 2016: Stop Me If You’ve Seen This Before Sunday
Monday Night Raw Date: August 15, 2016
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves
It’s Summerslam week and Brock Lesnar is here. On top of that things should be back to normal with the full roster back after their Australia/New Zealand tour last week. We should get one last push on all of the big matches, including Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor for the first ever Universal Title. Let’s get to it.
Last week on Raw, Roman Reigns sent Lana into a cake and Seth Rollins didn’t think much of Finn Balor.
Earlier today Rollins was outside waiting for his opponent Finn Balor, or the Demon King. He calls him out for a fight right then and there but no one showed up. Tonight he’ll find Balor instead.
Lana and Rusev are in the ring with Lana saying they’re not leaving the ring until everyone hears what they have to say. There will be no Raw until Reigns comes out here and apologizes. Instead he gets Mick Foley, now in a Have A Nice Raw shirt and with a beard that has its own zip code. Rusev yells a lot and says Foley sucks as a GM. He asks for Stephanie McMahon to come out here instead so here’s the bigger boss to stick up for Foley.
Rusev threatens to call Vince or Shane but here’s Roman to interrupt as well. They insult each other a bit (as heels and faces do) and a USA chant starts up, which is exactly what they were shooting for here. Rusev wants to defend Lana’s honor so Mick makes the match tonight, albeit not for the title.
Sheamus vs. Sami Zayn
Before the match, Sheamus gets some promo time saying Sami is nothing to him because Sami talks a lot on Twitter but he’s just a Sheamus knockoff. Sami throws his shirt at Sheamus and they’re quickly brawling before the bell. Cesaro sits in on commentary as Sami forearms Sheamus in the corner. A headscissors only ticks Sheamus off and he sends Sami back first into the post as we take a break.
Back with Sheamus in control, as a heel should be when you come back from a break. A powerslam gets two on Sami as Cesaro talks about having an offer to go to Smackdown, which a talent like himself deserves. The ten forearms to the chest have Sami in trouble but he knocks Cesaro outside for the big flip dive.
Corey gets on Cesaro for talking about himself a lot and Cesaro brushes him off in a rather heelish manner. White Noise gets two for Sheamus and a Blue Thunder Bomb (Not Michinoku Driver Cole. Even Saxton can get that name right.) gets the same. Sheamus comes back with the Irish Curse but here’s Cesaro for a distraction, setting up the Helluva Kick for the pin on Sheamus at 10:14.
Rating: B-. They were sticking with the basics here but these two doing the basics means a good match. Cesaro teasing the heel turn on commentary is interesting, though I have little reason to believe WWE isn’t going to botch this as well. What’s not interesting is Cesaro vs. Sheamus all over again after Cesaro beat him twice in a row in recent weeks. There’s no logical reason to do the match again but that’s what we’re likely going to get anyway because that’s that we’re stuck with.
Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens say tonight’s match between Owens and Big Cass isn’t one on one because Jericho will have Kevin’s back. Jericho wants to know who certified Enzo as a G. Does he even have a license to be a G? They’re ready for their tag match at Summerslam too and tell Todd/Robert/Brian/Nathaniel so, despite the interviewer being named Tom. Now that was funny.
Post break Cesaro and Sheamus are brawling again when Foley comes in to break it up. Mick loves seeing them fight so we’re getting a best of seven series. AFTER CESARO HAS ALREADY BEATEN HIM TWICE. Egads this booking makes my head hurt.
Dudley Boyz vs. New Day
Non-title and there’s no Big E. at ringside. Before the match, Gallows and Anderson pop up on screen to say they’re trying to cure Ringpostitis. They’re doing everything they can to make sure their results aren’t tainted, including putting eggs in microwaves. They’re well endowed with the right equipment and the ball is in their court. The distraction lets D-Von take over on Woods to start but D-Von clotheslines Bubba by mistake. Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise on D-Von for the pin at 1:38.
Post match the doctors’ experiment was a failure and they need more test subjects. Kofi wants to know why these two think this is a game. Summerslam is their anniversary of being champions and there’s no way Anderson and Gallows are getting their hands on New Day’s rocks.
Rollins is still looking for Balor but no one has seen him. This includes Neville, who says Rollins isn’t ready for the Demon King. Seth yells a lot.
Nia Jax vs. Rachel Weaby
Rachel has blue hair, bright green and pink attire and a lot of tattoos. She’s been watching the Olympics and is ready to bring home the gold. Nia throws her around and knocks her off the top with a single shot to the face. Rachel is out cold but Nia brings her back in for the fireman’s carry into a powerslam for the pin at 1:05.
Here are Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar for their big talk before Summerslam. We see Orton and Lesnar trading sneak attacks in recent weeks. Heyman starts his catchphrase….and here’s Heath Slater to interrupt. Paul hopes that someone put Heath up to this because it’s really stupid.
All Heyman can do is laugh as Slater talks about Raw understanding what Smackdown can’t get. Apparently if Slater fights Lesnar tonight, he gets a job. Heyman just ignores him and goes into his promo about Orton but Slater cuts them off again. Heath knows he’s going to get hurt very badly but he has to do this for his kids. Brock actually talks because he can respect Slater fighting for his family. He actually wants to talk about Slater’s kids….who he doesn’t give a censored about.
Slater can walk out of here on his own two feet or stand here and keep ticking Brock off. Heath actually tries to fight and gets suplexed half to death, followed by the F5. Heyman puts on Heath’s sunglasses and praises his courage before laughing at the idea of Orton being a viper. It’s his job to hype up the match on Sunday but Lesnar won’t believe a word Brock says about Orton being a real threat. Brock is the box office at Summerslam and you should buy it to see a once in a lifetime athlete. This FINALLY wraps up with Heyman saying Brock is dominant.
That’s the problem with how Brock has been booked over the last year: if no one, including the reigning WWE World Champion, why in the world would I want to see him fight again? We know the ending because Brock can’t be touched so it gets a little boring. Like Heyman’s speech here, which just kept going and going as Heyman said the same thing he’s said for over a year.
Big Cass vs. Kevin Owens
Before the match, Enzo talks about cooking zucchinis, sausage, burgers, frankfurters and those two pieces of Canadian bacon. Cass shoulders Owens down to start but Kevin knocks him off the apron and into the post as we take a break. Back with Cass breaking up the Cannonball with a boot to the face but getting sent outside again. Owens can’t hit the apron powerbomb and gets backdropped, only to have Jericho jump Cass for the DQ at 6:23. Not enough to rate but Cass looked competitive here and that’s all he needed to do.
Enzo and Cass get beaten down post match.
Reigns is ready to fight no matter what Rusev has ready for him. Rusev jumps him from behind and sends Reigns into a steel wall.
Prime Time Players vs. Shining Stars
Yes they were feuding just a week ago but earlier tonight Titus apologized so they’re back together for a third run. Darren and Epico get things going before it’s quickly off to Titus for a slam. Primo comes in and dropkicks Titus in the knee to take over, only to have Titus splash him in the corner. We get Titus suplexing Darren onto Primo for two but Bob Backlund accidentally distracts Titus, who is knocked off the apron by Darren. The Clash of the Titus plants Young and Primo gets the pin at 2:42.
Jinder Mahal vs. Neville
Neville dropkicks him outside and hits a corkscrew moonsault to the floor. The Red Arrow doesn’t work yet and Mahal kicks him in the face for two. A chinlock goes nowhere and Neville kicks him in the head to set up the Red Arrow for the pin at 2:57.
The bosses casually mention that Jon Stewart will be at Summerslam when Rollins comes in to find the Demon King. Mick suggests that he try it in the ring.
Here’s Rollins to call out Balor and give him one more chance to show himself tonight. No one shows up so Rollins laughs it off and calls this match just another chapter in his book. He’s the face of Balor’s failure but something we can’t see (maybe a fan jumping the barricade) cuts Seth off. Seth keeps laughing and the lights start flickering and go out. Red lights flash and here’s Demon Balor for the first time in WWE.
The fans are getting into the arms pose now and that’s a very good sign. Rollins has no idea what to think of this and Balor, now with writing all over the right side of his body, gets in his face. The fight is on and Balor cleans house as he should in this case. Balor misses the Coup de Grace but hits a flip dive over the top to take Rollins down. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of them having Demon Balor show up here. This match needs some buzz and this is going to do it.
We look back at Lana being sent into the cake last week.
Golden Truth vs. Gallows and Anderson
Gallows and Anderson are in their doctors’ coats. Truth gets kicked in the face to start but gets in the spinning forearm for a breather. It’s a double tag to Goldust and Anderson with Goldust hitting his bulldog and powerslam. Not that it matters as the Magic Killer ends Goldust at 2:18.
New Day comes in for the beatdown post match and it’s Gallows saving Anderson from a trombone to the testicles.
Charlotte talks down to Dana Brooke about wanting a taste of the spotlight. Dana failed her when it mattered the most but Charlotte will win the title anyway. Charlotte leaves Dana in tears.
Alicia Fox vs. Charlotte
Sasha Banks is on commentary. Fox hits some dropkicks to start but gets pulled off the middle rope for two. Natural Selection ends Fox at 1:25.
Charlotte calls Sasha to the ring but Dana takes out Sasha’s knee, setting up the Figure Eight.
Video on Braun Strowman.
Roman Reigns vs. Rusev
Non-title. Roman goes right at him before the bell and kicks Rusev in the face. The apron boot makes it even worse for Rusev but he posts Reigns as we go to a break. We’re joined in progress with Rusev working on Reigns’ bad left arm. Reigns gets choked on the ropes but comes back with a Samoan Drop for a breather. They head outside with Reigns being sent into the steps a few times but Rusev has the US Title taken away from him as we take another break.
Back with Rusev grabbing the mic and saying we’re all Russian wannabes. Rusev chokes Roman with his own ring gear, which isn’t a DQ for reasons that aren’t clear. Roman fights out and knocks Rusev off the top to set up a clothesline to put both guys down. The Superman Punch is countered and Rusev gets two off the spinwheel kick. Four straight middle rope headbutts get four straight near falls for Rusev.
The fifth finally misses and Reigns starts fighting back until a shot to the ribs slows him down. Rusev’s superkick is countered with a Superman Punch for a good near fall. The spear is countered with a few kicks to the head for two more but the Accolade is broken up as well. Another superkick to the back sets up the Accolade until Reigns basically collapses into the ropes. Back up and the spear pins Rusev at 20:39.
Rating: B. It was a solid match with both guys knowing how to do the power stuff but after seeing these two fight each other probably half a dozen times over the last year, I really don’t need to see them fight for thirty minutes on Raw and then watch them in a big pay per view match at Summerslam. Then again I don’t want to see Sheamus vs. Cesaro in four more matches (it’ll be seven) after seeing Cesaro pin Sheamus twice already. At least this was good, but I’m not wild on seeing a champion get pinned clean to set up the title match.
Overall Rating: D+. I really wasn’t feeling this one and a lot of that is due to how they’re booking things anymore. Now I really like the idea of the short, squash matches but you can mix things up a little more than that. Maybe have some of these matches go six to seven minutes instead of having six of them go under three.
The bigger problem here is that, aside from Balor vs. Rollins, I don’t care to see any of Sunday’s matches more than I did coming into tonight. How many of these people won’t be appearing on Sunday’s show anyway? Sami, Strowman, Nia Jax, and Neville aren’t likely to be at Summerslam but they get time (albeit very limited time) here because they need to fill in time. I’m hoping they get this stuff fixed soon because they really don’t know how to put a three hour show together at this point.
Results
Sami Zayn b. Sheamus – Brogue Kick
New Day b. Dudley Boyz – Trouble in Paradise to D-Von
Nia Jax b. Rachel Weaby – Fireman’s carry into a powerslam
Big Cass b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Chris Jericho interfered
Shining Stars b. Prime Time Players – Primo pinned Young after a Clash of the Titus from O’Neil
Neville b. Jinder Mahal – Red Arrow
Gallows and Anderson b. Goldust Truth – Magic Killer to Goldust
Charlotte b. Alicia Fox – Natural Selection
Roman Reigns b. Rusev – Spear
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at: