IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: March 22, 2018
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Vic Joseph Nigel McGuinness

I’m just going out on a limb here but I think Smackdown might get some extra attention this week. You know, because of that whole biggest story of the year thing that went down. There was good stuff on Raw too though, meaning we might not be getting a lot of original content this time around. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s episode if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Curt Hawkins vs. Heath Slater

Hawkins wastes no time in laying down so Slater can pin him but his “surprise” kick to the head is easily countered. A running clothesline puts Hawkins on the floor and he’d be more than happy to have Rhyno attack him for a DQ. Slater cuts him off but Hawkins cuts him off, followed by a chinlock inside. The comeback is cut off with a dropkick and Slater has to break out of another chinlock. There’s an enziguri to get Slater out of trouble and a neckbreaker is good for two. Hawkins decks him again but takes WAY too much time following up, allowing Slater to get a small package for the pin at 5:11.

Rating: D+. They’re officially beyond the point of needing to do something with Hawkins. The joke is stale and it’s not getting any better by doing the same thing over and over again. That being said, you know the big change isn’t happening on Main Event, but maybe having him be Braun Strowman’s partner or winning off a fluke of some kind could do just as well.

From Raw.

Here’s John Cena to find out what Undertaker is going to do at Wrestlemania. Cena issued a challenge last week and now it’s time to find out what he has to say. He can’t believe that Undertaker doesn’t know he still has a place here because if there’s still a WWE, the name Undertaker still has meaning. There’s even a man in the crowd dressed like the Undertaker right now. Well hang on because the response to the challenge is….nothing.

There hasn’t been a yes or a no and that’s the biggest mistake Undertaker has ever made. Cena calls it disrespectful to everyone in this arena who gets up and cheers when they head about the Undertaker. It’s disrespectful to everyone who took an oversized mortician and turned him into a god. Without the people, there’s no Streak and there’s no Undertaker. After these people have given Undertaker everything they have, he can’t give them a yes or a no?

If you’re retired then say you’re retired but if you’re in then say you’re in. The man that Undertaker has become is a coward. Just do something, even if it’s “some of that stupid stuff you do.” Roll a casket out here or light something on fire but DO SOMETHING! Fans: “DO SOMETHING!” Cue Kane, with new music, to chokeslam Cena without saying a word. I know the match is almost a guarantee, but they’re cutting it ridiculously close with this build.

From Smackdown.

Here’s Bryan to open things up. He needs to address the actions of Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens from last week….but they’re not here yet so we need to talk about something else. Bryan talks about being grateful for everything he has, which was the theme of his retirement speech. He has the greatest fans in the world and an amazing, beautiful wife who stood by him the entire way. It was her who told him to keep going to see specialist after specialist to get him back in the ring. Fans: “THANK YOU BRIE!”

Then when he got depressed, he decided to fight and it was Brie who told him to fight for his dreams. Eventually he was told he was cleared and those dreams became a reality. Next, Bryan needs to thank all of the doctors who kept giving him clearances until the WWE doctors finally did the same. Bryan isn’t sure when he’ll be back in the ring so here’s a WRESTLEMANIA chant to give him an idea. No announcement is made but the fans (including myself) are thrilled.

And from later in the same show.

Back from a break and Bryan is in the ring to see Owens and Zayn. Owens talks about taking their time getting here but Shane McMahon wasn’t going to be here so it wasn’t a big deal. Then they heard what happened and got over here as soon as they could. They had to get out of a speeding ticket but it was easy because everyone is dumber in Texas. Sami is happy with the news because Bryan has always been their biggest fan.

It’s a classic case of good things happening to good people and any show with the three of them on it is the dream show. It sounds like a dream team, but that’s not why Bryan wanted them out here. Bryan shows a clip of the two of them attacking Shane to end last week’s show, which they find funny. That’s not cool with Bryan but Sami says Shane deserved it. Bryan thinks they don’t get it.

Shane was right: Bryan was living vicariously through the two of them, but last week was more than getting a little carried away. The thing is Sami and Kevin won because Shane agreed that he had gone too far. They had a match set up for Wrestlemania, which was all they had ever wanted. Imagine the three of them being told that at an armory in front of 300 people ten years ago.

They would have had Bryan in his corner to run the show but they still assaulted Shane. Bryan doesn’t get it but he’s been fired from this company twice and grown from it each time. The two of them are fired and are so shocked that they can’t speak. Owens goes to leave but decks Bryan, followed by some screaming that Bryan did this.

Bryan fights back with kicks in the corner and a snap German suplex to Sami, followed by the running corner dropkicks. Referees come out as Owens takes the YES Kicks but Sami gets back up for the save. Bryan eats a Helluva Kick and the apron powerbomb makes things even worse to end the show.

Well that worked. This gives you a logical path to the tag match (Sami and Kevin have changed from the men Bryan knew years ago and the attack on Shane was unnecessary) and gives Sami and Kevin a ton of heat at the same time. It’s a good angle, but more than that it’s bizarre to see Bryan taking bumps after two years of just talking. Good segment though and I’m excited for the match.

Lucha House Party vs. Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese/TJP

It’s kind of amazing how the more worthless cruiserweights have just disappeared since the tournament started. Kalisto and TJP start things off with the latter talking trash, earning himself a trip to the mat and a spank. The rolling kick to the head rocks TJP again and everything breaks down in a hurry. Double suicide dives have the villains in trouble but Daivari racks Dorado. That’s broken up as well and it’s a superkick into the shooting star for the very fast pin on Daivari at 2:01. I’m guessing the Bryan segment cut this way down but it’s not like we haven’t seen it a dozen times.

Wrestlemania rundown.

From Raw again.

Here’s Kurt Angle to open things up and he has some bad news: Roman Reigns will not be here tonight due to his suspension and Brock Lesnar isn’t here yet. Angle goes to talk about the tag team battle royal but here’s Roman Reigns through the crowd. Kurt warns him that security is waiting but Roman doesn’t care. Someone has to be here to represent the main event of Wrestlemania since Brock isn’t showing up.

They yell at each other with Reigns saying he’s not going anywhere and getting a chair. Angle waves it off and leaves so here are the US Marshals, one of which pulls out a card and gives him the Miranda rights. Reigns is handcuffed but they make the mistake of grabbing his arms and the beating is on. Reigns stands tall and CUE LESNAR!

The beatdown is on in a hurry with Brock throwing German suplexes and beating the heck out of him with the chair. An F5 leaves Reigns laying and here’s a stretcher to come get Roman. He’s strapped on but Brock comes back again and shoves the stretcher over. Reigns is left laying after a very strong segment that this match needed.

Overall Rating: B-. The original wrestling was its usual nothing but my goodness what a week for WWE TV. The Bryan announcement and segments were outstanding but the Lesnar beatdown worked very well in its own regard. For the first time I’m getting very excited for Wrestlemania and this is the right time for that to be the case.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Geez, you’re ready to talk about Ring of Honor and then this happens.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-oh-yes/

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 20, 2018
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

And then, Daniel Bryan was cleared to medically return to the ring. I’m really not sure what else there is to say here as now we wait to see what this means for Bryan at Wrestlemania. There’s a good chance that he gets the spot in a tag match with Shane McMahon against Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn but maybe it’s something else. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at Daniel Bryan’s retirement in February 2016 in an emotional moment. Then news broke today that Bryan was cleared to return to the ring after FINALLY being medically cleared. I think we have a theme for tonight.

Here’s Bryan to open things up. He needs to address the actions of Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens from last week….but they’re not here yet so we need to talk about something else. Bryan talks about being grateful for everything he has, which was the theme of his retirement speech. He has the greatest fans in the world and an amazing, beautiful wife who stood by him the entire way. It was her who told him to keep going to see specialist after specialist to get him back in the ring. Fans: “THANK YOU BRIE!”

Then when he got depressed, he decided to fight and it was Brie who told him to fight for his dreams. Eventually he was told he was cleared and those dreams became a reality. Next, Bryan needs to thank all of the doctors who kept giving him clearances until the WWE doctors finally did the same. Bryan isn’t sure when he’ll be back in the ring so here’s a WRESTLEMANIA chant to give him an idea. No announcement is made but the fans (including myself) are thrilled.

Bryan is looking for Sami and Owens but finds Ziggler, who is rather condescending about the return. Ziggler can’t wait to beat him and Bryan wishes him luck trying.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rusev

AJ Styles is on commentary. They waste no time in trading the hard kicks with Rusev throwing him into the corner and unloading. A spinwheel kick drops Nakamura for two and we take a break. Back with Nakamura firing off kicks, including one to the side of a kneeling Rusev’s head. Rusev gets in a kick to the head of his own for two so Nakamura goes for a cross armbreaker. That’s rolled through but Nakamura grabs the leg for the rollup pin at 7:50.

Rating: C. It’s nice to have Nakamura get a pin but they haven’t exactly put their foot on the gas to get him to Wrestlemania. That and having him win in less than eight minutes with nearly half of that being in a commercial isn’t your traditional build. At least Nakamura is in the ring though and that helps a lot.

Post match Rusev and Aiden English beat Nakamura down and AJ takes his time getting up. Nakamura saves himself and stares down at AJ.

Video on Asuka.

Charlotte is in the back when Natalya comes in to say she knows how scared Charlotte is. A match is set up for later. I know I mention this a lot but Natalya is one of the weakest talkers in the company today. It’s like a bad high school play.

Styles and Nakamura run into each other with AJ mocking him for saying he’ll win. Nakamura says he’ll win with a knee to the face.

Baron Corbin vs. Tye Dillinger

Both are in the Andre battle royal. Dillinger chops away but gets knocked down with one hard shot. Graves buries Dillinger on commentary, asking about why he wastes every opportunity he receives. Corbin slides under the ropes but gets caught with a kick to the face. Back up and Corbin can’t hit End of Days (as in couldn’t pick Dillinger up for it in a nasty looking botch). Instead he sends Dillinger outside and then tries again a few seconds later, this time connecting for the pin at 2:31.

Charlotte vs. Natalya

Non-title. Charlotte gets two off an early suplex and a bridging rollup gets the same. The Figure Four necklock rolling flips keep Natalya in trouble and a kick to the chest puts her on the floor. Back from a break with Charlotte fighting out of an abdominal stretch and throwing her over with a t-bone suplex. A big boot looks to set up the Figure Eight but Natalya crawls into the corner.

That earns her a Downward Spiral into the buckle, only to have Natalya come back with a Batista Bomb out of the corner for a close two. The Sharpshooter is broken up in a hurry so it’s the discus lariat for two on Charlotte instead. They head outside where the spear connects and Charlotte slaps on the Figure Four back inside.

That’s rolled over though and Charlotte lands in the ropes but bends backwards over the apron to really crank on the leg. It’s fine enough to superplex Charlotte down for a big crash….and here’s Carmella! Charlotte is up with a boot to Carmella though, allowing Natalya to roll her up for the pin at 13:09. The cash-in was never official.

Rating: B. These two were beating the heck out of each other and then that stupid briefcase brought me right back down. I’m so sick of the thing hanging over everything because Heaven forbid we don’t do it every single year. Anyway, Charlotte losing doesn’t make sense here as it’s NATALYA of all people. She’s lost to Charlotte time after time but needs to get a pin here? Really?

Jimmy Uso vs. Harper

Jey is back and before the match, the brothers talk about their match with New Day going well…until New Day got involved. They put a beating on the Usos but they’re still here. They’re not backing down with three weeks before Wrestlemania because the Bludgeon Brothers are welcomed to the Uso Penitentiary. Joined in progress with Harper hammering him down until some chops give Jimmy a breather. Harper gets sent outside and a Rowan distraction fails. Back to back superkicks have Harper in trouble but he crotches Jimmy on top. The discus lariat gives Harper the pin at 3:29.

Rating: D+. This was the right call again as the Usos continue to get closer but still can’t beat the Brothers. Harper and Rowan look like the most awesome monsters in years, but they need to actually announce the match already. We’re two weeks away and the title match still isn’t set. What are they waiting on anymore?

Here are Jinder Mahal and Sunil Singh to talk about Mahal being added to…..ok I give up. As I type this, Mahal is bragging about being added to the match and OH DEAR GOODNESS I DO NOT CARE! It’s the same horrible promo he’s cut every single week about how rich and awesome he is and how he deserves this and I cannot even pretend to care anymore. Roode and Orton come out, they talk a lot, a brawl nearly breaks out but they all stare at each other.

Sarah Logan/Liv Morgan vs. Naomi/Becky Lynch

All four are in the battle royal. Becky gets double teamed in the corner to start and Logan adds a running knee to the face for two. It’s off to a cobra clutch for a bit before a spinebuster has Lynch in more trouble. She’s fine enough to throw Logan over the top but Ruby Riott tosses her back inside. Not that it matters as the Disarm-Her makes Logan tap at 2:35 as Naomi cuts Morgan off.

Bryan is told that Zayn and Owens are here so he’ll meet them in the ring.

Back from a break and Bryan is in the ring to see Owens and Zayn. Owens talks about taking their time getting here but Shane McMahon wasn’t going to be here so it wasn’t a big deal. Then they heard what happened and got over here as soon as they could. They had to get out of a speeding ticket but it was easy because everyone is dumber in Texas. Sami is happy with the news because Bryan has always been their biggest fan.

It’s a classic case of good things happening to good people and any show with the three of them on it is the dream show. It sounds like a dream team, but that’s not why Bryan wanted them out here. Bryan shows a clip of the two of them attacking Shane to end last week’s show, which they find funny. That’s not cool with Bryan but Sami says Shane deserved it. Bryan thinks they don’t get it.

Shane was right: Bryan was living vicariously through the two of them, but last week was more than getting a little carried away. The thing is Sami and Kevin won because Shane agreed that he had gone too far. They had a match set up for Wrestlemania, which was all they had ever wanted. Imagine the three of them being told that at an armory in front of 300 people ten years ago.

They would have had Bryan in his corner to run the show but they still assaulted Shane. Bryan doesn’t get it but he’s been fired from this company twice and grown from it each time. The two of them are fired and are so shocked that they can’t speak. Owens goes to leave but decks Bryan, followed by some screaming that Bryan did this.

Bryan fights back with kicks in the corner and a snap German suplex to Sami, followed by the running corner dropkicks. Referees come out as Owens takes the YES Kicks but Sami gets back up for the save. Bryan eats a Helluva Kick and the apron powerbomb makes things even worse to end the show.

Well that worked. This gives you a logical path to the tag match (Sami and Kevin have changed from the men Bryan knew years ago and the attack on Shane was unnecessary) and gives Sami and Kevin a ton of heat at the same time. It’s a good angle, but more than that it’s bizarre to see Bryan taking bumps after two years of just talking. Good segment though and I’m excited for the match.

Overall Rating: C+. This show did what it needed to do as it advanced a bunch of stories towards Wrestlemania. As mentioned though, there’s a lot of stuff you can pencil in but it’s high time to bust out the ink. Bryan being back is a huge deal, but there’s other stuff that needs to be done and WWE is dragging its feet like crazy right now. I don’t get it, but they need to get on with it already.

Results

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Rusev – Rollup

Baron Corbin b. Tye Dillinger – End of Days

Natalya b. Charlotte – Rollup

Harper b. Jimmy Uso – Discus Lariat

Naomi/Becky Lynch b. Sarah Logan/Liv Morgan – Disarm-Her to Morgan

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

https://wrestlingrumors.net/breaking-news-daniel-bryan-medically-cleared-ring-competition/

Well that’s a game changer.  This is one of those things that I never thought I would see.  I don’t know when he’ll be back but if they can get him on Wrestlemania, they would be crazy not to.  Either that or as the big Raw surprise.

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 27, 2018
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s time for some crossover appeal as John Cena is making his return to the show in an attempt to find a way to get to Wrestlemania. You know, because that’s just so hard otherwise. Other than that we have to get ready for Fastlane because it’s cool to have a pay per view four weeks before Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show.

And here’s how Cena got here tonight.

Here’s John Cena to open things up. He makes no bones about it: he wants in on the Fatal Five Way for the #1 contendership at Fastlane so let’s find out what he has to do to get there. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” Cue Commissioner Shane McMahon to summarize everything, only to be cut off by a LET’S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS chant.

Cena says half the people want him in the match so he should go in. The fans switch to RUSEV DAY and it seems that Cena will be having a shot. This brings out Daniel Bryan, to say he agrees with Shane. They’re willing to put Cena in the main event and if he wins, he’s in the Fastlane title match. His opponent tonight: AJ Styles. The DQ finish seems obvious and that would make the most sense at this point.

Baron Corbin vs. Sami Zayn

Kevin Owens is on commentary. Byron: “Well let me ask you this Kevin.” Kevin: “No.” Corbin sends Sami outside to start as Owens makes bald jokes. Sami gets in a shot on the announcers’ table and a backdrop sends Corbin over the barricade. We cut to the back where Shane and Daniel are arguing over Owens being allowed to do commentary as Shane thinks he’ll interfere. Bryan thinks he’s entertaining and we take a break.

Back with another RUSEV DAY chant and let’s cut to Shane eating popcorn while Bryan continues to defend Owens being on commentary. Sami dives into a chokebreaker and Corbin’s slide under the ropes into the clothesline gets two. They head outside with Sami getting dropped but Corbin stops to yell at Owens. The distraction lets Sami hit a DDT back inside as Dolph Ziggler comes in through the crowd for a superkick to Owens. Sami glares at Ziggler and walks into the End of Days for the pin at 9:41.

Rating: C+. The fact that they’re now having these battling bosses arguing over actual matches is not a good sign, nor is it a sign that these things are ending anytime soon. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing a lot of that in the coming weeks, plus at least another week of random singles matches to set up the five way, because that’s all WWE knows how to do for something like this.

Ziggler gives Corbin the Zig Zag.

Bryan says that was fun and takes off for the night with Shane’s blessing.

Post break Sami and Kevin are furious and don’t get any better when Shane (and his box of popcorn) doesn’t seem to think much of their complaint. Geez END THIS STORY ALREADY!

Naomi vs. Ruby Riott

Of course the other four are at ringside because having this be a singles match might involve developing more than one person and that’s too much to ask from the precious writers. They go to the floor for the big staredown to start and it’s an early break. Back with Riott holding a seated full nelson as we cut to Carmella answering fan questions in the back. Naomi fights up and it’s a double kick to the head for a knockdown. A shot off the top misses so Naomi goes with a scorpion kick instead. Ruby sends her into the corner though and the Riott Kick is good for the pin at 6:50.

Rating: D+. Not enough time to mean much but Riott winning to further her chance against Charlotte makes sense. Riott isn’t going to win the title but it’s a good idea to push someone before we get to Wrestlemania and what is likely Asuka vs. Charlotte. I mean, we of course can’t announce anything like that yet because the world needs Fastlane but I’m sure four weeks for Wrestlemania is fine.

Charlotte and Becky run the Squad off.

We go to the Fashion Police’s office where Breezango runs into the star of the new USA series Unsolved. The series is about the unsolved murders of Biggie Smalls and Tupac so we get a Biggie/Big E. joke/cameo. The actor says he’s just an actor and not a real detective, making Fandango sad. This was a rather unfunny cross promotional ad.

Here’s New Day (with the words on the screen because NEW DAY’S entrance isn’t easy to remember) for a chat about renewing their rivalry with the Usos. Big E. says it’s as hot as his inner thighs in the summer. Or winter. Or anytime. He has Kofi spritz his thighs with a bit of water so Woods can talk about how they’re ready to go to New Orleans and party on Bourbon Street as the new champions.

Cue the Usos to say they used to be the New Day with the bright colors looking like a box of Skittles. That didn’t get them to the top because they ground their way up. They’ve been here nine years and have been left on the sideline of EVERY Wrestlemania (so Kickoff Show matches don’t count).

Big E. gets right back in their faces and says they’ve taken the ball and rushed the field. They hosted Wrestlemania while the Usos were sitting in the back eating catering. New Day didn’t get here because of their daddies and they’ll take the titles for the fifth time. This brings out the Bludgeon Brothers, who bring the hammers into the ring. That’s enough for the Usos and the New Day, who bail in short order. Very strong segment here with Big E. showing some great fire before the big title match.

Earlier today, Rusev Day came in to see Shane and get a match tonight. Shane, in song, made Aiden English vs. Shinsuke Nakamura.

Ziggler says he’s not back to get lost in the shuffle and deserves to main event Wrestlemania.

Bobby Roode is glad to be fighting Randy Orton because the US Title means a lot. Maybe Orton is just jealous over the top ten list. Orton comes in to say it’s because the US Title is the only title he’s never won, which is as good of a motivation as any.

Aiden English comes to the ring for his song but the fans cut him off with the Rusev Day chants. Eventually he sings Shinsuke is an artist but not the real artiste.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Aiden English

Nakamura wastes no time in firing off the kicks, followed by COME ON. More kicks have English in trouble and we take a break. Back with English getting knocked off the corner but a Ruse distraction lets English hit a reverse fireman’s carry slam for two. The running knees in the corner miss but Aiden’s high crossbody just seems to fire Nakamura up. Good Vibrations into the running knee has English in trouble and the Kinshasa is good for the pin at 6:22.

Rating: C-. This was just a step above a squash with Nakamura never feeling like he was in any real danger. Nakamura needs some bigger wins than this though as just fighting various low level people (and by various I mean this one as he hasn’t had a match in nearly a month) like English isn’t the best way to set up Wrestlemania.

Cena comes out for a quick staredown before his match.

AJ Styles vs. John Cena

Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Cena hitting an early shoulder block for two. A chickening/half nelson has AJ in trouble but he fights out with some chops for a breather. The tornado DDT out of the corner lands awkwardly and gives Cena two as we take a break. Back with Cena hitting the ProtoBomb and Five Knuckle Shuffle but AJ comes back with the fireman’s carry neckbreaker for a near fall of his own.

A TKO of all things gives Cena the same and Baron Corbin is watching in the back. AJ’s torture rack neckbreaker and Cena’s hard running clothesline get two each but Cena charges into an enziguri as we take another break. Back again with AJ getting two off a clothesline of his own but a Lionsault misses. Cena grabs a Code Red for two more and floats over from the near fall into the STF.

That’s reversed as well and the Phenomenal Forearm gets two. The springboard 450 hits knees though and the AA connects. Cena tries another though and winds up on the floor where a missed charge sends him into the steps. AJ won’t take the countout though and gets AA’d through the announcers’ table for a knockout. Cena rolls back in as the referee checks on AJ, meaning Styles can dive back in to beat the ten count. There’s the Calf Crusher but Cena powers to his feet for another AA and the pin at 22:00.

Rating: B+. These two could have a good match in their sleep so this is no surprise. It’s also not a surprise that Cena is going to the pay per view where he can have another shot at Wrestlemania, which means he’s likely losing at Fastlane so we can set up Cena vs. Undertaker in less than a month. Still though, as good as you would have expected here.

Post match Corbin, Owens and Zayn come down to beat on Cena and Styles. Ziggler runs in for the save but decks AJ. That earns him an AA to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. You know, last week I said maybe we could add the rest of the roster to the Fastlane match to save some time. At the time, I wasn’t serious but now, we’re a step closer to that actually happening. Assuming this is just a big way to set up Cena vs. Undertaker, we’re looking at less than four weeks to build it up, because of Fastlane (and Nikki Bella last year).

I’m starting to think Fastlane should just be called Speed Bump. It slows you down on the way to where you want to go, can cause damage to what’s working just fine, and it’s better if you just can just pull to the side and avoid it altogether. The show won’t be bad, but they REALLY shouldn’t be building to another pay per view when Wrestlemania is in forty days. Good show this week, but it’s building to the wrong pay per view.

Results

Baron Corbin b. Sami Zayn – End of Days

Ruby Riott b. Naomi – Riott Kick

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Aiden English – Kinshasa

John Cena b. AJ Styles – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: February 6, 2018
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

As is often becoming the case around here, it’s a big night with some major matches set for the show. This week we have Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn for the #1 contendership to AJ Styles for the Smackdown World Title at Fastlane. In addition to that, US Champion Bobby Roode is defending against Rusev on Rusev Day. Let’s get to it.

Commissioner Shane McMahon is in the ring to open things up. Shane talks about Sami vs. Owens but doesn’t think either of them deserve a shot. Someone he does think something of is General Manager Daniel Bryan. Daniel comes out and Shane talks about how the two of them listen to the fans every week. Fans: “RUSEV DAY! RUSEV DAY!” Shane: “Duly noted.”

Shane asks why Bryan keeps giving Sami and Kevin these chances. Yes, Daniel has changed the WWE landscape with the YES Movement but the Yep Movement is a poor imitation. Shane knows that Bryan wants to be wrestling more than anything and he knows what Bryan is doing. Bryan doesn’t quite get it but Shane accuses him of living vicariously through Kevin and Sami.

Before anything of note can be said, cue AJ Styles, to say he’s traveled 10,000 miles since the new year began because that’s what a champion does. He’ll defend the title against anyone who gets a title shot and walk into Wrestlemania as WWE Champion. Simple and to the point here, but if they’re not going to put Bryan in the ring (which I don’t think they will), they’re treading on thin ice by even hinting at it.

Shinsuke Nakamura comes up to AJ in the back and says he’ll beat him at Wrestlemania.

Liv Morgan vs. Charlotte

Non-title. Charlotte stomps her to the floor and we hit the break less than thirty seconds in. Back with Morgan in control but getting chopped down for her efforts. Morgan’s low superkick gets two but Charlotte scores with a neckbreaker and spear. Sarah Logan offers a distraction but just gets herself and Ruby ejected. Charlotte kicks Liv in the face and the Figure Eight makes Morgan tap at 7:59.

Rating: D+. Acceptable match here as Charlotte gets to score a little revenge on the Squad, because that team can keep absorbing losses like this. Charlotte looks dominant but I’m not sure who her next challenger is. Assuming they’re setting up the match with Asuka at Wrestlemania, I guess we’ll be seeing Charlotte vs. Ruby at Fastlane. That’s not exactly big though as Ruby hasn’t won much of anything since debuting.

Charlotte says that’s one down and two to go.

Video on Roman Reigns at the National Civil Rights Museum for Black History Month.

Kevin Owens says he’ll win.

Bludgeon Brothers vs. ???/???

Harper runs over Jobber #1 to start and #2 bails straight away, only to be taken down by Rowan. The double spinebuster ends #1 at 1:22.

Post match the Usos come out for the staredown but the Brothers walk past them. Back from a break, the Usos talk about a state of mind. They turn their mind into a prison, which they run. There are a lot of people out here starving but they’re not talking about people having cupcakes.

There are a lot of people out here looking thirsty but they’re not talking about lemonade or that purple stuff. They’re talking about the hunger and thirst for success. They went from “these guys are alright” to the match of the night. It used to be Uso Crazy but now it’s DAY ONE ISH! When you feel something creeping up on you, it’s not paranoia because it’s the Usos. I’m not sure what the heck was said here, but that was some awesome energy and I was digging the whole thing.

And now, the first Smackdown Top Ten List.

10. Tye Dillinger

9. Randy Orton

8. Becky Lynch

7. Usos

6. New Day

5. Bobby Roode

4. Naomi

3. Shinsuke Nakamura

2. Charlotte

1. AJ Styles

Well that….was pointless.

Corey Graves has issues with the list, including New Day being above the Usos and the lack of Rusev.

New Day, answering fan questions tonight, gives Corey Graves a 6% chance in a street fight.

Aiden English says the ring being a canvas is appropriate because art will be happening tonight. Rusev is working out and shouts MACHKA.

Aiden sings Rusev’s entrance, complete with sing-a-long words on the screen and a bouncing Rusev head.

US Title: Rusev vs. Bobby Roode

Rusev is challenging. Feeling out process to start as they actually take it to the mat at a slow pace. Rusev takes him down again and we go to an early break. Back with Roode getting two off a Blockbuster but walking into a fall away slam. We hit the chinlock for a good while until a hard shot to the face wakes Roode up.

The running forearm and a clothesline have Rusev in trouble but English offers a distraction. A hard kick to the head gives Rusev two and we take a break. Back again with Roode hitting a spinebuster but going after English, allowing Rusev to get in the Machka Kick. The Accolade is broken up though so they trade rollups for two each. Another Accolade is reversed is reversed into the Glorious DDT to retain the title at 15:49.

Rating: B-. Good match here, though again I wonder why they’re refusing to do ANYTHING with Rusev out of the ordinary when he’s being cheered like no one else week to week. It’s not like the US Title is doing much for Roode and even a short reign would give the fans something extra to cheer for. I don’t get it, but that’s WWE logic for you.

Roode poses but an RKO OUTTA NOWHERE takes him down. English and Rusev get one each as well. That wasn’t a heel turn but rather Orton being Orton. Now just have Orton put one or two of them over and we might be getting somewhere.

Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable have their own bulletin board and wonder how this is what they have to work with in the tag team division. These on-screen graphics during the promos need to die in a fire already.

Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable vs. Ascension

Konnor wins an early slugout with Benjamin and Ascension clears the ring early on. A missed boot in the corner lets Gable start in on Konnor’s knee though with a variety of leglocks keeping him in trouble. Konnor grabs a flapjack though and the hot tag brings in Viktor to start cleaning house. That includes a middle rope knee to Chad’s face for two but Benjamin gets in a blind tag. Rolling Chaos Theory into the powerbomb/top rope clothesline puts Viktor away at 3:50.

Rating: D+. Just a quick win for Benjamin and Gable here to keep them hot, possibly for an upcoming match with the Bludgeon Brothers. Ascension was showing some fire here and that’s a good thing, as it’s not like they get a ton of ring time in the first place. Let them show what they can do and hopefully get another chance in the future.

New Day talks about who would be ranked highest if they were voted as individuals. This seems to go straight to Kofi, who wants the World Title this year. I could go for that.

Various wrestlers reacted to the Top Ten.

Sami wants his own moment on top of WWE.

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

The winner gets AJ, on commentary, at Fastlane. They’re tentative to start until Owens runs him over, only to charge into some armdrags. Some right hands send Owens to the floor and he tells Sami to calm down. Owens gets knocked off the apron and we take a break. Back with Sami in trouble but still being able to block the Cannonball.

The exploder suplex into the corner is countered so Sami settles for a tornado DDT and two instead. Sami gets shoved off the top but is still able to get his knees up and block the Swanton. Kevin rolls to the floor and gets caught with a diving DDT to put both guys down on the outside.

Back in and a superkick sets up Owens’ frog splash for two more and he can’t believe the kickout. Sami is right back up with the Blue Thunder Bomb (which now has a chance to win as he got a pin out of it a few weeks back) for another near fall (ok maybe I’m overly optimistic). Owens stumbles out to the floor and it’s time for the argument with AJ, who beats both guys up (though he hit Sami first) for the no contest at 14:02.

Rating: C+. These two have great chemistry together and it’s very easy to have Sami slip back into face mode, even for one night only. He’s a natural face who is playing a good heel and it makes for an easy dynamic against a natural heel like Owens. They had a good match here, even if the ending was obvious from before the opening bell.

Cue Bryan to say it’s a triple threat at Fastlane, leaving AJ wanting a fight to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this one about as much as I could have as it didn’t really offer anything that bad and advanced enough stories. That being said, can we PLEASE get off this Shane vs. Bryan feud already? It feels like it’s been going on for the better part of ever now and I’m no closer to wanting to boo Bryan, even if that’s what WWE wants us to do. Not a great show, but it did its job well enough.

Results

Charlotte b. Liv Morgan – Figure Eight

Bludgeon Brothers b. ???/??? – Double spinebuster

Bobby Roode b. Rusev – Glorious DDT

Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable b. Ascension – Powerbomb/top rope combination to Viktor

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens went to a no contest when AJ Styles interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: January 30, 2018
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the final night of the Philadelphia Story and Smackdown is in a very different place than Raw. The blue show has the men’s Royal Rumble winner and as a result, the World Title match for Wrestlemania XXXIV is already set. There are a lot more details to get through though and that starts tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Rumble winner Shinsuke Nakamura to open things up. He talks about kneeing everyone in the face and is ready to do it to AJ Styles at Wrestlemania. This brings out Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn to interrupt with Sami ranting about the loss in their title shot. Owens was never tagged in so he couldn’t be pinned. Owens: “YEP!”

Therefore, they deserve the next shot at the title, which they’ll take at Wrestlemania. Nakamura calls them losers and here’s AJ Styles to interrupt as well. AJ agrees with the losers comment and suggests the dream match become a dream team against Sami and Kevin tonight. Kevin and Sami: “NOPE!”

Post break Daniel Bryan makes the tag match. Owens and Zayn are livid but Bryan gives them another chance. Next week, it’s Owens vs. Zayn in a #1 contender match with the winner getting a shot at Fastlane.

Kofi Kingston vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev vs. Zack Ryder

The winner gets a US Title shot next week and champion Bobby Roode is on commentary. It’s a brawl to start with Kofi and Jinder trading rollups for two each. A knee to the head cuts Kofi off though and Ryder low bridges Mahal to the floor. After a brawl near the announcers’ table, everyone gets back in with a double Irish whip setting up Kofi’s dropkick to Rusev.

Back up and Kofi hits a big dive over the top onto Ryder and Mahal, meaning it’s time to throw pancakes. The Singh Brother cuts off Rusev’s dive (this is completely against Rusev Day tradition) so Aiden English shoves him into New Day, meaning the PANCAKES ARE DROPPED! All four seconds are ejected and we take a break. Back with Ryder hitting the Broski Boot on Rusev but Mahal throws him outside to take the near fall for himself. The SOS gives Kofi two but Rusev is right in to break things up. The Stackalade is broken up so Rusev settles for the regular version on Kofi for the tap out at 12:44.

Rating: C+. Nice energetic match here with the right choice for the winner. It’s a few weeks late for Rusev but it’s not late enough that it doesn’t work. Rusev is still hot and putting the US Title on him would be a great way to capitalize on him. They need to do something with him and hopefully this is the start of something good for him.

Ascension is helping Fashion Files answer some Twitter questions (including some about hair conditioner) when Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable come in to call it stupid. They turn over the table and we have a match set up for later.

Here are the Usos for a chat. They talk about cleaning out the tag division, including listing off each team, causing a jail graphic to come up on the screen. There’s no one left for them to face so of course here are the Bludgeon Brothers.

Bludgeon Brothers vs. ???/???

Jobber #1 is sent hard into the corner for a running charge in the corner from Harper. The jobbers are sent into each other and it’s a full nelson slam/powerbomb combination to #1. The double spinebuster ends #2 at 1:50.

Daniel Bryan announces a superstar ranking system which will be starting soon. This was announced earlier in the day.

Shane McMahon is in his office when Tye Dillinger comes in. He’d love to talk about the ranking system (there are ten names on it after all) but he’s not happy with what happened at the Rumble. Baron Corbin comes in to yell about not getting the title shot and questions Shane’s McMahonhood. Dillinger mocks Corbin for losing Money in the Bank (a bit behind the times there buddy) but Shane says they’ll settle this in the ring tonight.

Video on Ronda Rousey debuting.

Here’s Charlotte for a chat with Renee Young (in what looks like Danny Davis’ old ring jacket). Charlotte wanted to be in the ring on Sunday to see if she could come in at #3 and survive like this guy she knows. Then the moment happened that broke the internet and she was in the ring with Alexa Bliss, Asuka and Ronda Rousey. She’s walking into Wrestlemania as Smackdown Women’s Champion and wants to know who she’ll be facing.

This brings out the Riott Squad with Ruby saying Charlotte’s ego is as big as her father’s. Charlotte doesn’t seem to mind so Riott talks about how she’s met people like Charlotte throughout her career. If it’s up to Ruby, Charlotte won’t even make it to Wrestlemania. Charlotte holds off the attack for a bit but the numbers get the better of her. The parade of finishers ensues….AND HERE COMES CARMELLA! She hands the referee the briefcase but accidentally dropkicks him to the floor before the match is on. Charlotte is back up so Carmella changes her mind. So Carmella is now a klutz?

Styles goes to talk strategy with Nakamura but Shinsuke only wants to talk about the Wrestlemania match. They’ll be fine tonight if Styles listens to him, which doesn’t sit well with AJ.

Carmella wanted to remind Charlotte that the danger is real.

Tye Dillinger vs. Baron Corbin

They fight outside at the bell with Corbin being sent into the barricade. Back in and Corbin unloads on Tye with right hands before throwing him outside as we take a break. We come back with Tye fighting out of a chinlock and getting in some right hands to the ribs. Corbin does his slide underneath the ropes but the clothesline misses. Instead Tye sends him shoulder first into the post, followed by a boot to the face. The Tyebreaker is broken up though and Corbin hits him in the back of the head. The chokebreaker sets up End of Days to give Baron the pin at 6:38.

Rating: D+. This was fine for a way to give Baron a little momentum, though he doesn’t have anything going on at the moment. Dillinger is in even worse shape though and needs to do something different if he wants to go anywhere. It could be worse, but at the moment there’s nothing there. That’s not exactly shocking either and I’m kind of surprised that he’s made it this far.

Aiden English sings about the upcoming Rusev Day title change.

Roode has Rusev Day marked on his calendar. He circles it, but turns the circle into the O in glorious. That was clever. I’m not wild on these handheld promos but I am a fan of promos being used to set up matches. It worked for years and I have no idea why it was decided that they can’t work again.

Sami and Kevin are in the back talking about how they’re ready for tonight. Kevin implies that he’ll win next week and Sami doesn’t seem pleased.

Wrestlers are speculating on who will be the 205 Live General Manager.

Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable vs. Breezango

Fandango chops away at Shelton to start but walks into a spinebuster. Chad comes in to start on the arm but makes sure to knock Breeze off the apron to keep control. Back up and Fandango gets something like a backbreaker, only to get caught with a rolling Liger kick for two. Breeze comes in off the hot tag as everything breaks down but it’s a quick powerbomb/top rope clothesline to put Tyler away at 3:40.

Rating: D. Much like Corbin, this was a quick win to get Benjamin and Gable back on track. There was no reason to expect anything of note and it’s not like Breezango was going to get anything important in anyway. The wrestling was short and to the point, though I’m not sure what Gable and Benjamin do now while the titles are busy.

Wrestlemania XXXIV ad.

AJ Styles/Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

AJ wastes no time in headscissoring Owens into the corner so it’s off to Sami to work on Nakamura’s arm. Styles comes back in for a few kicks before Nakamura is back in, only to be taken into the corner for the double stomping. Nakamura fights back with some shots to the head and we hit the front facelock. Sami gets thrown outside but Owens uses the distraction to shoulder Nakamura down.

That leaves Sami down on the floor so Owens yells at him, meaning it’s time for the big argument. That’s too much for Sami and he takes the walk up the ramp as we go to a break. Back with Owens holding Styles in a chinlock as Sami watches from the stage. AJ’s belly to back facebuster gets two as Sami runs back in for the save. Sami comes in for two off a backdrop and it’s quickly back to Owens for two off the backsplash. Owens chops Sami for a tag but that’s not cool with Zayn, who does the same to bring Owens right back in.

They get knocked into each other so Sami leaves again, leaving Kevin to break up the Phenomenal Forearm. A Vader Bomb elbow gets two but the Pop Up Powerbomb is thwarted. Instead it’s off to Nakamura for some kicks, only to have Owens bail before Kinshasa. AJ throws him right back in though and it’s a spinwheel kick to the head, followed by Kinshasa to give Nakamura the pin at 15:25.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard main event tag match here but it advanced the story of Sami vs. Kevin’s issues. AJ vs. Nakamura has a lot of time to build up and there’s no need to rush things. Let that take its time to be properly built and see where they can go instead of rushing through things and running out of steam with a month to go before Wrestlemania.

An unpleased Sami is watching in the back but says that’s not the end of their friendship. This is about Sami getting his chance because it’s his time to be champion.

Overall Rating: C+. Nice enough show here, especially after we’re coming out of the Rumble and heading into Fastlane. There’s a lot more to do here but this set the stage for the next few weeks, which is all you can do here. You can probably pencil in Owens vs. Zayn for Wrestlemania while Nakamura vs. Styles seems to be written in ink. This should be an interesting season and since I can’t imagine them messing with anything major at Fastlane, everything seems to be looking better. Throw in the lack of Bryan vs. Shane tonight and this was another nice show.

Results

Rusev b. Kofi Kingston, Jinder Mahal and Zack Ryder – Accolade to Kingston

Bludgeon Brothers b. ???/??? – Double spinebuster

Baron Corbin b. Tye Dillinger – End of Days

Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable b. Breezango – Powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination to Breeze

AJ Styles/Shinsuke Nakamura b. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn – Kinshasa to Owens

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

YES!  YES!  YES HE IS!By that I mean Shinsuke Nakamura of course, who last eliminated Roman Reigns to win.  John Cena and Finn Balor filled out the final four.  The big surprise was Rey Mysterio with Hurricane as a comedy joke.  Andrade Cien Almas and Adam Cole were the NXT representatives.  No Daniel Bryan.

Also, Nakamura said he wanted to face AJ Styles, so the match seems to be made for Wrestlemania.

I was completely wrong about this as I never would have guessed Nakamura to win.  Some people said he would though and it turns out they were right.

Royal Rumble 2015
Date: January 25, 2015
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,164
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Now this is one I’ve been looking forward to and dreading at the same time. I actually didn’t mind the main event the first time around but ever since then I haven’t been able to think of a single good thing that match did. It should be interesting (hopefully) to see how far this thing has fallen in just a year. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. New Day

Talk about a year making a big difference. Cesaro and Kidd looked to be the hottest team in years and now they’re both out while New Day, who looked to be a horrible disaster, actually IS the hottest team in years. As usual, time can change so much in wrestling. As usual, Woods is the odd man out here. Adam Rose is here with Kidd/Cesaro for no adequately explained reason but the fans would rather cheer for Cesaro anyway.

Kidd and Big E. get things going as the announcers talk about the Rumble instead. Ok to be fair, it’s a pre-show tag match with nothing on the line so I can live with it here. Big E. grabs a few backbreakers to start before it’s off to Kofi for two off a dropkick. Cesaro comes in for a BIG reaction and you can tell who the star of this match is going to be.

It’s quickly back to Big E. who takes over with a shoulder in the corner, followed by a middle rope cross body from Kofi. Lawler: “I like New Day but I’m excited to see what they’re going to evolve into.” Cesaro and Kidd take Kofi into the corner and I still don’t get why Rose is on the floor. Like, I don’t remember that in the slightest and it’s bizarre to see a year later. The Cesaro Swing into the dropkick (still awesome) gets two and we take a break.

Back with Cesaro holding Kofi in a chinlock but Kingston comes back with a dropkick to Kidd. Big E. starts cleaning house with clotheslines and the fans are REALLY not pleased. Cesaro charges into a Rock Bottom (well close enough to one) out of the corner for two. Kidd is sent to the floor for a flip dive from Kofi, followed by Big E. spearing Cesaro through the ropes for a big crash.

It’s Cesaro on his own against both guys but Big E. is sent outside and Kofi gets kicked in the head, setting up a superplex into a springboard elbow from Kidd for a VERY close two. A sunset flip gets two on Kofi with Cesaro holding Kidd in place for a smart move. Trouble in Paradise is countered into the Sharpshooter but Big E. makes the save with a belly to belly. Rose gets on the apron and gets kicked in the head, only to have Kidd grab a fisherman’s neckbreaker for the pin on Kofi at 11:03.

Rating: B-. Well that worked. This is why having a hot tag division is so important: you can wake up the crowd in a match that really doesn’t matter either way because both teams looked great. New Day could clearly go in the ring but it would still be a few months before they really figured it out. Well that and until they were allowed to have some personality, which was the cure all along.

The opening video is about finding the moment that cements what you are. However, there can only be one. Tonight, someone’s moment becomes a reality. The triple threat gets a little attention as well.

New Age Outlaws vs. Ascension

This is fallout from the Outlaws, the NWO and Acolytes beating down the Ascension for not respecting the veterans enough or something. Yeah it ruined another act that was built up for over a year in NXT but HHH’s buddies got a pay per view appearance out of it. Gunn and Viktor get things going and all it takes is a hiptoss to draw the YOU STILL GOT IT chant. Fans get easier to impress every year. Dogg comes in for the shaky knee drop on Konnor but the young guys take over with a chinlock.

As the match slows down (likely so the Outlaws can breathe), JBL regales us with tales of Bullet Bob Armstrong vs. Buddy Colt. Konnor puts on a chinlock and Dogg taps, likely because tapping out wasn’t a thing when he started. The match keeps going anyway with Dogg avoiding an elbow drop, only to be chinlocked down by Viktor. That goes nowhere and the hot tag brings in Billy to clean house, only to miss the Fameasser and walk into the Fall of Man for the pin at 5:26.

Rating: D. And of course this launched the Ascension up the card and into the Tag Team Title scene forevermore. Yeah of course they never recovered after getting beaten down by a bunch of old retired guys and then winning a meaningless match against a long past retired team because…..yeah I think you know why this didn’t work, or at least you should.

We look at Sting saving Cena from Big Show/Kane/Seth Rollins on Raw. Sting isn’t on the show or anything but he had a cameo there of course. Cena winning however did get Dolph Ziggler, Ryback and Erick Rowan their jobs back but Rowan didn’t qualify for the Rumble. At least the match meant something.

The Authority isn’t pleased with Sting doing that WCW nonsense around here. Cue Paul Heyman who says Brock can help with their problems, whatever those are.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Damien Mizdow/Miz

The Usos are defending but Mizdow is the most over guy in the match. Speaking of things that have changed a lot in a year. The Usos took the titles from Miz/Mizdow to close out 2014 so this is the rematch. Jey and Miz get things going and the fans already want Mizdow. Something like a top rope Demolition Decapitator gets two on Miz as Cole recap Miz trying to get Naomi on their side with promises of Hollywood fame.

Miz gets crotched on top so Mizdow (gently) does the same, continuing the one idea act that somehow had fans cheering for him. Miz’s top rope ax handle is punched out of the air so Mizdow goes up and dives into a punch from no one. The fans think Mizdow is awesome, meaning it’s time for a chinlock from Miz himself. The Reality Check gets two but Miz won’t tag Mizdow in. Again, this doesn’t make a ton of sense as Miz is making himself wrestle the whole match by himself.

Anyway, Jimmy gets away and tags in Jey to take over with the running Umaga Attack in the corner but Miz grabs a DDT for two. Everything breaks down and both Usos hit a dive to take out both challengers, though Jey almost misses Miz, drawing a rather rude chant from the fans.

Back in and Jey misses the Superfly Splash, allowing Miz to get two off the Skull Crushing Finale. The second attempt at the Splash connects but Mizdow breaks it up, drawing the loudest pop you will EVER hear for a heel breaking up a cover. Mizdow’s Skull Crushing Finale gets two on Jimmy, who superkicks Miz into a powerbomb from Jey. Jimmy’s Superfly Splash retains the titles at 9:20.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here as Miz/Mizdow’s one joke is long past its point of interest and we’re just waiting on Mizdow to turn, which would of course take too long to mean anything as WWE would screw it up again. It really is amazing how far the tag division has fallen in just a year as all the injuries and screwiness have turned the division on its head. The Usos are still the Usos though and that’s all that matters.

The pre-show panel chats a bit and we look at the pre-show match.

J&J Security play the new WWE mobile game until Seth Rollins comes in to yell at them for not being serious enough. Rollins says he’s been called the future but he’s the right now.

Wrestlemania ad. I had forgotten how much I hated that theme song.

Bella Twins vs. Paige/Natalya

No idea what the story here is but I’m sure it’s Total Divas related. Nikki and Paige get things going with Paige not being able to Irish whip her. It’s off to Natalya who gets two off a kick to the back of the head. Brie comes in to work on the arm as the announcers joke about which twin is older. I’m not sure why this is supposed to be funny but they certainly think it is. A double suplex puts Brie down and Paige does her slow, crawling cover for two.

Natalya comes in and covers as well but for some reason she isn’t legal. Even Paige is confused as she grabs Brie again and now tags Natalya in all legal like. Brie gets two off a quick slam and it’s back to Nikki for a Hennig neck snap. Lawler: “Name two countries and then a state.” Cole: “It was a joke.” It’s as random as it sounds. Now it’s off to Lawler approving of the Bellas’ looks as they take turns on Natalya for some near falls.

Brie puts on a chinlock for a bit before both Bellas grab a leg and roll forward to flip Natalya onto the back of her head. Nikki puts on a headscissors and does push-ups to drive Natalya’s face mere inches away from the mat. Natalya powers up and drops Nikki on her back for the break and avoids a clothesline, only to have Brie pull Paige off the apron. Nikki’s big forearm puts Natalya away at 8:02.

Rating: D. We don’t even have time for a hot tag? This wasn’t much to see but again, it’s all about the Bellas because they’re the stars on Total Divas and know how to act like the Kardashians or whatever. Nikki would get a lot better after another six months on top of the division or so, but that would be a very long six months.

Roman Reigns says he’ll beat his performance from last year.

Stardust does his usual and Goldust says he’s right.

Rusev says he’ll win and promises to crush whoever wins.

Miz says this is his year and Mizdow repeats everything. Again: that’s not what a stunt double does.

Big Show says he’s not mortal because he’s a giant.

Fandango says no one understands the power of the tango.

YES, Daniel Bryan thinks he can get back to the main event of Wrestlemania.

We recap the triple threat for the World Title. Rollins tried to cash in Money in the Bank on Lesnar at Night of Champions while Cena was challenging, triggering a feud between Rollins and Cena. Tonight they both get their shot in what should be awesome.

WWE World Title: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and this is one fall to a finish. The fans just explode on Cena with the JOHN CENA SUCKS song making its return. I was there when it debuted and that’s a pure thing of brilliance. Lesnar on the other hand is treated…..well about how you would expect Philadelphia to react to him. Rollins bails to start and there’s the first German suplex to Cena. Another one drops Cena again so J&J come in, only to get a German of their own.

Rollins kicks Cena in the head but gets pulled inside to face Brock all alone. It’s time for more German suplexes and the fans loudly applaud. There’s a regular suplex to Rollins and we get an ECW chant. Brock grabs a Kimura on Cena but John lifts him up, allowing Seth to springboard in with a knee to the champ. Cena and Rollins get smart and double team Lesnar, only to have Seth throw John to the floor for one off an AA.

Brock pops up like a daisy and sends both of them outside, only to have Rollins knock him into the steps. As J&J are in a heap next to the barricade, Cena starts his usual finishing sequence on Rollins but Lesnar breaks up the Shuffle with another German suplex. Seth breaks up the rolling Germans though as he needs Cena to help fight against Brock. Makes sense. A knee to the back puts Brock on the floor but the champ is right back in for the save as Seth covers Cena.

Back up and Cena throws Rollins to the floor and actually drops Brock with some clotheslines. Seth pulls Cena outside and tries a springboard, only to get caught in a big F5. That is some terrifying strength. Brock loads up a table for some reason so Cena gives him three straight AA’s for two with Rollins making a last second save. There’s a Curb Stomp from Seth and this time Cena has to dive in and break up the cover. The fans think this is awesome (indeed) as everyone heads outside, where Cena spears Lesnar through the barricade.

Brock keeps getting up so Cena throws him into the steps and blasts him in the face for good measure, knocking the champ onto the announcers’ table. Rollins feels left out so he drives Brock through with a HUGE top rope elbow and Cena is the only one standing. The non-Lesnars head back inside and Seth hits a quick low superkick for two. The AA doesn’t work so Cena Batista Bombs him for a VERY near fall.

Not to be outdone, Rollins reverses a superplex attempt into a running Buckle Bomb for two more. Both guys are spent so Rollins tries a Curb Stomp, only to get caught in the STF. Cue J&J from their comas for the save as a stretcher comes out for Brock. There’s a TripleBomb for two on Cena but he ducks a briefcase shot and AA’s both J’s at the same time. He should not be able to do that twenty minutes into a match this physical. Or any match for that matter.

Another AA gets two on Rollins and the Curb Stomp gets the same on Cena as the fans are freaking out on these kickouts. We’re told Brock has at least a broken rib as Rollins busts out the Phoenix Splash on Cena. Not that it matters as a TICKED OFF Brock gets back in for some German suplexes, only to have Seth hit him in the face with the briefcase. Rollins loads up a Curb Stomp onto the case but you don’t try that on Lesnar, as he counters with a HUGE F5 to retain at 22:42.

Rating: A. Good grief what a battle. This was the night where Rollins became a star and people knew that he was going to be champion soon. Cena put in his normal amazing performance here as well, but good night Brock looked like a monster. This is the beast that WWE wanted to build up for someone to take down and it worked perfectly here. Just outstanding action here with all three looking like they had been through a war. This was the instant match of the year leader and it would take something special to knock it off.

Brock walks off as the medics are stunned.

Rumble By The Numbers video.

Royal Rumble

Good luck following that. Miz is #1 and R-Truth is #2 with 90 second intervals. They start slowly (smart here) until Truth gets in a few pelvic thrusts. Truth is sent to the apron a few times and gets crotched on the top until Bubba Ray Dudley makes a big surprise return at #3. You think that might wake the Philadelphia fans up a bit? Bubba is fired up to start and gives Miz the Dusty punches before R-Truth plays D-Von (I’m not touching that one) on What’s Up.

Now it’s table time but Miz gets up, only to be put back down with a 3D. There go Miz and Truth as Luke Harper is in at #4 for a hoss fight. They slug it out boo/yay style but Harper elbows out of a Bubba Bomb. A big clothesline drops Harper but Bray Wyatt is in at #5. Bubba isn’t sure what to make of him and Bray does his big freaky smile. The fans want D-Von (fair enough idea) but Bray sends Bubba into a clothesline and dumps him a few seconds later.

Harper and Wyatt stare at each other and Curtis Axel is in at #6, only to have Erick Rowan jump him from behind and destroy him, kicking off Axelmania because Axel was never officially eliminated. Rowan (not part of the Family at this point) gets in and teases a reunion against Bray, only to be quickly double teamed. Erick almost gets Harper out but Bray dumps them both and points to the sign. In another surprise return, the Boogeyman is in at #7. Cole: “It’s the eater of worlds against the eater of worms!” His entrance takes forever and Bray dumps him like the jobber that he is.

Sin Cara is in at #8 and gets in a few shots, only to get punched out of the air. Sister Abigail sets up another elimination and Bray is on a roll. With no one to fight, Bray grabs a mic and issues an open challenge to everyone in the back because this is his year. It’s time to sing until Zack Ryder is in at #9 (apparently returning from shoulder surgery), only to be eliminated even faster than Cara.

NOW things get interesting as Daniel Bryan is in at #10 to one of the loudest reactions you’ll hear since…..well since the last time Bryan was in a big match probably. Daniel speeds things up a lot with some running dropkicks in the corner as JBL tells Bryan not to go so hard because he needs to pace himself. Preach it JBL. A middle rope hurricanrana puts Bray down and it’s Fandango in at #11. Well that’s quite the drop in star power. He goes after Bryan but stops to dance, allowing Bryan to flip out of a belly to back suplex.

We go old school (way old school actually) with an airplane spin until Tyson Kidd (with his sweet theme song) is in at #12. A springboard missile dropkick drops Bryan and Fandango is quickly dropped into the corner, leaving Kidd and Bryan to slug it out in what could rock with about fifteen minutes. Stardust is in at #13, with Cole saying it’s his Rumble debut. No Cole, no it’s not. I get what he’s going for and no Cole, no it’s not.

Fandango and Stardust take turns skinning the cat before Stardust takes out the knee to get Fandango in trouble. Bryan eliminates Kidd but Bray is back up, only to be knocked through the ropes and out to the floor. You know that means a suicide dive from Daniel, followed by Diamond Dallas Page in at #14 for another surprise. Stardust is right on him but there’s the first Diamond Cutter. JBL: “Do they teach that in yoga class?”

Fandango takes Page down but gets crotched on top, setting up a super Diamond Cutter for a very nice pop. Bray pounds on Page but takes a Diamond Cutter of his own, which is one step too far. The guy is a monster and shouldn’t get dropped by a retired legend. Rusev comes in at #15 and superkicks Page before eliminating him. Side note: put Page in the Hall of Fame already. He has the resume and he’s worthy of canonization after what he accomplished with Roberts and Hall.

Rusev dumps Fandango and puts Bryan on the apron, allowing Bray to knock Daniel out. That right there is pretty much it for this Rumble meaning anything as we now know it’s all about Reigns, even though the fans aren’t going to be interested no matter what. I know you can’t have Bryan win here, but you could at least give him a run near the end. This was a bad idea and the DANIEL BRYAN chants starting up a minute after he’s gone don’t bode well for the rest of the show.

Goldust is in at #16, giving us Goldust, Stardust, Rusev and Wyatt. The brothers go after each other for a bit until Kofi Kingston is in at #17. Kofi goes after Bray as the fans are booing everything presented to them no matter how watchable it is. All five wind up in one corner for some reason with no eliminations until Adam Rose is in at #18. The Rosebuds do the full entrance and catch Kofi as he’s launched over the top for his annual save. Rusev dumps Rose with ease and kicks Kofi out a few seconds later to get us back to four. Roman Reigns is in at #19 and oh man this is going to be good.

The fans go nuts on Reigns as he fires off the running corner clotheslines and gets rid of Goldust and Stardust in rapid succession. Big E. is in at #20 and only gets kind of booed. Rusev is right on him and that gets booed loudly out of pure spite. Rusev hits a quick Cannonball on Big E. and it’s Damien Mizdow in at #21 for a bit of relief from the fans. Miz cuts him off and wants the spot but Reigns shoves him down and Damien, egged on by the crowd, goes in as well.

Mizdow cleans some house but is thrown out by Rusev in less than twenty seconds. Dang they really don’t want the fans to cheer anything tonight do they? Well other than Reigns of course. Jack Swagger is in at #22 and gets in a few nice shots until Bray cuts him off. We’ve got Wyatt, Swagger, Reigns, Big E. and Rusev at the moment until Ryback is in at #23. That means more power brawling with Meat Hooks and suplexes all around. Bray and Rusev continue their loose alliance to to get Ryback in trouble and there’s a CM Punk chant for the latest false hope.

Kane is in at #24 and you know the people aren’t happy with that. The match slows down a bit with Kane putting Ryback on the apron and Big E. doing the same thing to Swagger. Those attempts go as far as you would expect and it’s Dean Ambrose in at #25 to give the fans something to actually cheer for. Dean goes for Rusev to start but has to stop a charging Kane. The fans are WAY into Ambrose as he’s the first guy they’ve wanted to cheer for in about fifteen minutes.

Titus O’Neil is in at #26 and put out in four seconds by Ambrose and Reigns. So much for that one. The ring is getting too full and Intercontinental Champion Bad News Barrett makes it even worse at lucky #27. Everyone brawls against the ropes until it’s Cesaro in at #28. Cesaro fires off a bunch of European uppercuts but he can only get Ambrose to the apron. Rusev dropkicks Big E. out to clear a little room but Big Show takes his place at #29.

Everyone goes after him but Show throws them away before starting a chokeslam contest with Kane. There goes Ryback thanks to both giants and Show dumps Swagger. A chokeslam sends Rusev rolling out under the ropes and it’s Dolph Ziggler in at #30 (Remember when “who is #30” was the big question every year? Now it’s just another entrant. It’s kind of sad really.), giving us a final grouping of Wyatt, Rusev, Reigns, Kane, Ambrose, Barrett, Cesaro, Big Show and Ziggler.

Here’s the thing: that’s actually a stacked final set of people. Wyatt, Rusev, Ambrose, Barrett, Cesaro and Ziggler are crowd favorites, Big Show and Kane are at least good monsters to conquer and Reigns is…..well that other group is really popular. The problem here is NO ONE but Reigns has a chance and the entire audience knows it, making this inevitable rather than anything interesting.

Ziggler superkicks the giants and takes them both down with the running DDT. Barrett is sent to the apron and superkicked out but Ziggler gets caught in the Cesaro Swing. Cesaro sends him to the apron but Dolph gets him to the apron for a superkick and an elimination, only to have Big Show and Kane put Ziggler out. That also gives Kane the all time record for Rumble eliminations.

The giants throw Bray out like he’s no one (thanks for the 47 minutes Bray) and the fans are getting even angrier than they already were. So it’s Ambrose/Reigns vs. Big Show/Kane with Rusev forgotten on the floor. Roman is bleeding from the mouth as he clotheslines Show down but he and Dean can’t get rid of the bigger giant. Kane boots Roman in the face and the KO Punch knocks Dean silly, giving the giants an easy elimination. Reigns is suddenly even less popular as the inevitability gets that much closer. Even Cole acknowledges that the fans hate this.

Reigns fights back and the booing gets even louder until Kane and Show start fighting, because the last SIXTEEN YEARS of these two fighting isn’t enough. They fight next to the ropes and Reigns gets up for a double elimination, actually sending the fans into silence for the win.

Kane and Big Show get back in and beat Roman down even more, complete with a double chokeslam. The fans remember that Rusev is still in but here’s the Rock to help save his cousin. He cleans house and drops both giants to a nice reaction until Reigns Superman Punches Show into a Rock Bottom. Rock leaves and Rusev gets back in, only to get speared and eliminated to really give Roman the win at 59:31.

Rating: D-. WOW. This is somehow so much worse than I remember it as WWE was clearly going out of its way to clear the path for Roman but the fans were having none of it. The problem here is a simple one: there was never any drama. Look back at 2012 for a second. The final two were Chris Jericho and Sheamus, neither of whom were interesting choices to win. However, the final three minutes of that match are AWESOME as you really didn’t know who was going to win and both guys had a real chance. That’s the easiest way to get fans to like the Rumble, or really most matches.

This Rumble is really more like 1993 than anything else. That was the year of Yokozuna and everyone knew it, though there was the slightest chance of the Undertaker winning it. However, Undertaker went out in the middle of the match and the rest was just a waiting game to see who was on Yokozuna’s victim list.

That’s exactly what happened here. Everyone knew Reigns was the heavy favorite no matter who they wanted to win and the ONLY person with a real chance of beating him was Bryan. This year Bryan was the twelfth man eliminated, leaving about thirty five minutes left in the match. That’s a long time for the fans to sit around with little to no hope as things get worse and worse. The best false hope they had for the rest of the match was Ambrose and that just wasn’t going to happen.

On top of that, you have Big Show and Kane as the big bads for Reigns to conquer. That’s fine on paper, until you look at all the papers labeled “Raw Results” where you see how many times he and everyone else has beaten both of them. Instead of some group of the popular guys at the end, it was Kane and Big Show for the first ending. Then there’s Rusev for the false hope spot but Reigns destroyed him too before winning.

So yeah, this was one big mess all designed for Reigns to look like a hero and it failed miserably. It boils down to a simple concept that actually takes me back to the Russo days to a degree: you have to earn it. The problem here is Reigns hasn’t really accomplished anything to earn this spot and the fans are rejecting him. Austin dominating the 1998 Rumble worked because the fans had seen Austin go through a lot of wars to earn the right to be the top dog. Reigns’ big moment was a win over Randy Orton at Summerslam 2014. That’s not exactly huge and the fans hadn’t forgotten.

Ignoring the Reigns part for a minute, this was a really dull match. Bubba was a cool surprise and Page was good for a Diamond Cutter, but Boogeyman? Other than that and Bray’s dominance (which went nowhere), this was really dull stuff. Kofi being caught by the Rosebuds was a good quick chuckle but really low on his list of saves. Just a horrible Rumble from start to finish with only a few bright spots throughout.

Rock poses with Reigns and the fans STILL boo. The Authority comes out to glare a lot as Reigns celebrates and points at the sign to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Oh yeah this was bad. The triple threat is the only thing keeping this from being a disaster as the rest of the card is a bunch of nothing tags and then a disaster of a Rumble for the last third. The Rumble itself really is that bad and drags an already bad show down even lower. It’s balanced out a bit by the triple threat but twenty two minutes of awesome can’t make up for an hour of horrible. Terrible show here and thankfully WWE finally figured out that Reigns wasn’t ready yet, because he just wasn’t here.

Ratings Comparison

Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. New Day

Original: B

Redo: B-

Ascension vs. New Age Outlaws

Original: D+

Redo: D

Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Usos

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Bella Twins vs. Paige/Natalya

Original: D-

Redo: D

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Original: A

Redo: A

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: D

How in the world did I add that one up last year?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/01/25/royal-rumble-2015-more-teasing-than-a-15-year-old-on-prom-night/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal  Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

We wrap things up here with last year’s show. The Rumble is back to the thirty entrant variety which is probably the best move all around. The odds on favorite is Jericho who returned very recently before this show. Other than that we’ve got Daniel Bryan defending his newly won world title against Big Show and Henry in a cage, along with Punk defending against Ziggler. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about going to Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry

Bryan is champion and beat Show at TLC by cashing in his MITB case in 45 seconds. Show beat Henry at the same show and ran over Bryan’s girlfriend AJ on Raw to set all this up. This is one fall to a finish and it’s pin/submission/escape. Bryan immediately goes for the corner but Henry pulls him down and Show runs Bryan over for two. Show crushes Henry against the cage wall but has to stop to pull Bryan back inside. Bryan tries to run up again but Show catches him by the ankle and slams him back in.

Show loads up the WMD but hits the cage wall instead. The champion fires off some kicks but gets headbutted right back down. Bryan kicks the knee out even harder and fires off some kicks to Henry to keep the other monster down. He goes for the door but you know this isn’t ending that quickly. Henry makes the stop and demands that the referee CLOSE THAT DOOR. Show superkicks Henry down and it’s his turn to take over for awhile.

Bryan gets slammed down but Henry is back up again. A few punches put Show down because a dozen chair shots usually can’t, but a few punches can. Actually that’s a great way to keep Henry looking strong. The fans are cheering for Bryan as Henry and Show collide to put all three guys down. Show gets back up and clotheslines Bryan down a few times before superkicking him in the face. The chokeslam is countered and Bryan hits a tornado DDT on Show for two.

The LeBell (NO!) Lock is put on Show but Henry breaks it up in about a second. The WMD gets two on Henry but Bryan makes the save, which ticks Show off. Bryan SPRINTS up the cage but Show chases after him and grabs Bryan before he can get out. Bryan sits on the top of the cage and pounds away, only to be caught again. The champion is literally hanging from Show’s wrist before finally letting go and falling to the floor to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This really wasn’t all that great. At the end of the day, it was a lot of the same sequence over and over again with Show and Henry not having a ton of interaction at all. The ending didn’t look great either and I’m not sure why Show would just hold him out over the floor like that. This falls under the category of “…..really?” as it’s hard to buy Bryan keeping the belt here.

Long video on Cena and all the stuff he does for WWE. The man is insanely committed to that company.

Divas of Doom/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Kelly Kelly

The Divas of Doom are Beth and Natalya. Natalya and Tamina start things off and they collide a few times. Tamina slaps her in the face before chopping Nattie down for two. Off to Eve for that bouncing moonsault for two. Since that’s a pretty lame move, Natalya charges her into the corner and brings in Beth who blocks a rolling splash with knees to Eve’s back.

Off to let’s say Nikki for some basic stomps to the back and a quickly broken chinlock. Jerry is asked what he likes about the Bellas and he can’t even get an answer out. Not hot tag brings in Alicia who is immediately sent into the corner and chinlocked as well. Alicia finally counters by flipping Nikki forward and makes the actual hot tag to Kelly. There’s the screaming headscissors and a faceplant for two. Everything breaks down and almost everyone heads to the floor, where Kelly hits a HUGE dive to take everyone out. Back in and Beth SLAPS herself in to hit the Glam Slam on Kelly for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Divas match: they did their “sexy” spots, they had barely there outfits, Kelly screamed a lot, Beth beat up Kelly to end things. One interesting note from a year later: would they even be able to put together an eight Divas tag now? I’m thinking through the roster and I don’t know if I can name eight girls on the main shows right now.

We recap Ryder getting hurt at the hands of Kane. This was during the period where Ryder went from one of the hottest things in the company and US Champion to a rag doll that Kane destroyed over and over and over in the span of a few weeks until his push was completely destroyed. Eve blamed Cena for Ryder having his back broken for some reason.

Ryder is wheeled in and patronized by Johnny Ace (remember him?). Ace has a private room set up for Ryder but Eve comes up to yell at Ace first. Not much here but it’s setting up stuff later on tonight.

Kane vs. John Cena

This is when Kane had the welder’s mask look. Brawl to start with Kane beating Cena down into the corner as the fans are split on Johnny. A clothesline puts them both on the floor where Kane is sent knees first into the steps. Back in and Cena can’t hit the AA on Kane. That makes sense as after all, Kane is probably 175lbs lighter than Show who Cena throws around with near ease most of the time.

Kane kicks Cena down and gets two off an uppercut. A suplex gets the same and it’s off to a chinlock. Cena fights up and is sent into the buckle for his efforts followed by Kane’s stupid smother hold. John tries to counter into a Crossface but Kane comes out with a side slam. The idea here is that Cena can’t get anything going at all. The top rope clothesline takes Cena’s head off but Cena pops up and hits his shoulder block.

The Shuffle is countered by a grab of Cena’s throat and a big boot gets two. Cena blocks a superplex and hits the Shuffle off the top. That’s certainly a new one. The AA is countered by an elbow to the face and Kane kicks Cena out to the floor. Booker talks about how Cena is a good kid. I don’t think I ever recall Cena being called a kid since like 2004. Kane pounds on Cena in the aisle and that’s a double countout so we can do this match again next month.

Rating: D+. I know that’s a common theme tonight but it fits here again. These two didn’t work all that well together and the story was even worse. Then again, this was nothing more than giving Cena something to do for a few months until he could get ready for the biggest match of his career. This didn’t work for the most part.

The fight continues into the back where Kane finds a chair to lay to lay out Cena. To the shock of no one paying attention, Kane finds the door to Ryder’s private room and kicks the door in. Ryder is taken to the ring and tombstoned as Eve screams. Cena comes out to try to save Eve but gets chokeslammed by Kane who walks away. Ryder does a stretcher job, but somehow it would get even worse for him in the coming weeks.

BE A STAR!

Zack is wheeled out and Cena is booed for it. That’s the part of this story that never held up for me: why is this Cena’s responsibility? Ryder was the United States Champion. He should be able to defend himself.

We get a video on the Rock just like Cena got earlier. It’s shot in the back of Rock’s car and is more like a mini documentary. It focuses on how insane Rock’s life is and all of the stuff he does around the world.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

This is right after Brodus redebuted as the Funkasaurus so he was still a new character at this point. Brodus dances a lot, Drew punches him in the corner, Brodus headbutts him and hits the cross body (called WHAT THE FUNK) for the pin in about a minute.

Buy Slim Jims! For the troops!

We recap Punk vs. Ziggler who is challenging Punk on Ace’s behalf. This is during the “Ace is boring” phase where Punk made fun of him no matter what he did, so Ace helped Ziggler get a win over Punk to earn a title shot. Ace is also guest referee tonight just because. He’s openly admitted he’s going to screw Punk out of the title tonight, so HHH is going to evaluate his job status the next night on Raw, meaning Ace has to play nice.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Punk is defending and Ace is referee. Johnny Ace is John Laurinitis but that’s a hard name to spell. Before the match, Ace says he’ll be the outside referee. Ok then. Wait we’re still not ready to go as Ace throws Vickie out as well. We finally get going and Ziggler tries a quick Fameasser which is countered into a failed GTS attempt. Punk tells Dolph it was that close. They feel each other out a bit longer until Ziggler starts strutting.

Punk finally gets his hands on Ziggler and puts on an abdominal stretch, complete with a wrapped toe and slicking back his hair ala Ziggler. Dolph heads to the floor and gets taken out by a suicide dive but shoves Punk off the top rope once they get back inside. Ziggler drops about eight elbows in a row and a jumping version gets two. We hit the chinlock with Ziggler cranking on the head way more than necessary.

The champ starts firing off chops and strikes before getting caught in the sleeper. That goes nowhere but neither does Punk’s Anaconda Vice attempt. Back to the sleeper but Dolph can’t get it on all the way. Instead there’s a perfect dropkick for two on Punk but the Fameasser is countered into a helicopter bomb for two. A swinging neckbreaker by the champ puts Dolph into the corner where the knee/bulldog combination actually works.

The GTS is countered into a slingshot but Punk lands on the middle rope. He comes off with a spinning cross body but Ziggler rolls through for a near fall in a cool sequence. The high kick gets two for Punk as does the Macho Elbow, drawing a Randy Savage chant. The GTS is countered again and the referee goes down as per the requirement in a world title mach. Punk hooks the Vice but Ace is checking on the down referee. Then Punk gets a rollup and there’s STILL no referee.

Ace sends the referee back in as Punk loads up the GTS, but Ziggler’s legs knock Ace to the floor. Ace sees the pin but refuses to count because he thinks Punk did it on purpose. Ziggler counters another GTS attempt into the Fameasser for two before pounding away a bit. The champ comes back with a slingshot and the GTS gets a pin from both referees to retain the title.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going as we were all waiting on the Ace stuff. The feud would go on for weeks until Jericho finally showed up to give Punk someone with charisma to feud with. The near falls at the end were a lot better than Ace, but it occurs to me that this was pretty much the same match he had last year. Good stuff though.

Rumble by the Numbers:

30 Superstars

1 winner

31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble

21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania

695 entrants who have been eliminated

39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)

13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane

11 eliminations for Kane in 2001

194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show

421,883 people who have attended the Rumble

62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record

3 wins for Austin

1 second that Santino lasted in 2009

2 women who have competed in the Rumble

1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each

27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four

55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

The Miz is #1 and talks about how he’s going back to the main event of Wrestlemania this year. His former apprentice Alex Riley is #2 which isn’t really surprising given how RANDOM these draws are. I always liked Riley and he always got a good reaction, which is clearly why he doesn’t get on TV more. Riley pounds away to start and runs Miz over with a forearm but walks into a big boot. Maybe it’s the old school fan in me but I don’t like a 6’0 guy using a big boot. Miz talks trash and low bridges Riley out with ease.

R-Truth, Miz’s former partner, is #3. Truth fires off some kicks and avoids the Finale before hitting a kind of powerslam. Miz gets sent to the apron for the second time but Truth turns his back to watch Cody come out at #4. A quick Disaster Kick puts Truth down (Cole says it hits Miz because those two are so hard to tell apart) and Truth gets double teamed for awhile. He manages to send Cody to the apron but gets caught in the Reality Check as the clock seems to be speeding up.

Justin Gabriel is #5 and things speed WAY up. A big spinwheel kick puts Miz down before Cody goes nuts on Gabriel in the corner. Primo is #6 to keep things low key to start. Actually he speeds things up as well and hits a sweet headscissors out of the corner to take Gabriel down. Truth hits the spinning forearm on Cody, only to be dumped out by Miz a second later. Since he’s still crazy, Truth pulls Miz to the floor and lays him out on the outside.

Mick Foley is #7 to fire up the crowd a little bit. He dumps Primo almost immediately before getting beaten on by Cody. Foley looks really old and slow here but to be fair, he is in fact old and slow. In a HILARIOUS bit, Ricardo Rodriguez is #8 but comes out in an old banged up, rusted out rental car. He’s even got the Del Rio scarf to hide some of his hideous pale body. We get a HUGE Ricardo chant as Foley and Gabriel have no idea what to do here.

Ricardo takes Cody down and pounds away before proposing an alliance with Foley of all people. They actually do team up and toss Gabriel, allowing Ricardo to do a CM Punk knee slide. We keep the comedy going with Santino at #9 and Ricardo runs from the Cobra. Santino beats on Ricardo and literally rolls him around the ring before pulling his trunks up and tossing Rodriguez.

Now we get my favorite spot of the match as Santino puts on the Cobra and Mick puts on Socko and it’s TIME FOR A DUEL!!! Before they can collide though it’s Epico at #10 but he falls to the powers of the socks and is out almost immediately. The socks COLLIDE until Miz and Cody pop back in (neither was eliminated) and dump Santino. Miz gets Socko but Cody dumps Mick. Fun comedy bit here to give us a good first act to the match.

Kofi Kingston is #11 and hits a double springboard clothesline before hitting a double Boom Drop. In at #12 is Jerry Lawler (Cole: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”) and he causes Miz to hit Cody by mistake. Lawler speeds things up and hits the middle rope punch with the lowered strap, only to be put out by Cody. Ezekiel Jackson is #13 and gets to do the usual power moves on each guy while the others lay around.

Jinder Mahal is #14 and the fans start chanting USA, even though the only two Americans in this match are Rhodes and Miz. Great Khali comes in at #15 and Mahal panics. Everyone gets chops and Mahal is out in just a few seconds. Jackson tries to pound away and is put out almost immediately as well. Hunico is #16 on that stupid bicycle of his and hits a spinning cross body on Miz and his Angle Slam on Cody.

Khali chops Hunico down as the ring is staying relatively empty. Booker T is #17 to surprise Cole. You would think he would have noticed that the man sitting next to him for over two hours wasn’t wearing pants but he never was considered that bright. Now we get the spot of the match as Miz shoves Kofi to the floor but Kofi holds himself up by his hands. Miz shoves Kofi into a handstand but Kingston WALKS ON HIS HANDS ACROSS THE FLOOR TO THE STEPS to get back in. FREAKING AWESOME MAN!

Dolph Ziggler is #18 as the ring is starting to get full. Hacksaw Jim Duggan makes his annual return at #19 to pop the crowd huge. He cleans house for a bit and we get a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER on Miz and Rhodes. Cody avoids a charge in the corner though and dumps Duggan in less than a minute. That’s the best idea at the end of the day. Miz and Cody team up to put out Booker and Khali at the same time.

We complete the trio with Michael Cole at #20. At the moment we’ve got Cole, Miz, Rhodes, Kingston, Hunico and Ziggler in the ring. Kharma returns at #21 in her only WWE match ever. She hits Cole so hard she knocks his headgear off so Cole eliminates himself. Well he gets to the apron where King and Booker eliminate him. Ziggler tells Kharma to get out so she DRILLS him. Kharma dumps Hunico but Ziggler sneaks up and eliminates her (Booker calls this doing the impossible. Not really Book.) to a ton of heat.

Sheamus is #22 to give us some A level star power. Well maybe B+ level. Things speed up with Sheamus destroying everyone and tossing Kofi out. There are the ten forearms in the ropes to Cody and ten to Miz as well. The Zig Zag is countered and Road Dogg is another surprise return at #23. He gets to clean house for a bit and earns a “you still got it” chant. In far less than 90 seconds, Jey Uso is #24.

Everyone pairs off until Jack Swagger is #25. After a few suplexes everything settles down into its usual brawling phase until Barrett is #26. He throws out Roadie and stomps away on a lot of people. David Otunga gets the lucky spot at #27 and poses a lot before he comes out. Not a lot happens so Orton comes in at #28 to pick things up a bit. Remember we’re in his hometown so everyone goes nuts.

Cody breaks up the RKO on Barrett so Randy hits the Elevated DDT on both Cody and Ziggler at the same time because he can. There’s an RKO to Barrett and he’s out. Chris Jericho, complete with a blackout of the arena, makes his return at #29. He’s still a face at this point and dumps Otunga to a good reaction. Big Show is #30 which was considered a letdown at the time. Dude, he was world champion a month ago. That’s hardly Darren Young coming out.

As Show comes in he pulls Swagger out from the floor, giving us a final grouping of Miz, Rhodes, Ziggler, Sheamus, Orton, Jericho and Big Show. That’s a pretty solid grouping. Show dumps Cody and Miz at the same time to get us down to five. Show tosses Ziggler as well to get us down to four. The big man cleans house but walks into an RKO, allowing Orton and Sheamus to pick him up and Randy clotheslines him out. Jericho dumps Orton immediately thereafter and we’re down to two.

The fans are entirely behind Jericho here so Sheamus runs him over a few times. Jericho’s bulldog is countered but Sheamus can’t throw him over the corner. Jericho charges into the Irish Curse but Sheamus can’t hit the High Cross. We get a great false finish with Jericho clotheslining Sheamus to the apron and then knocking him down to the point where Sheamus is hanging on by his leg. Sheamus comes back in with the slingshot shoulder but the Brogue Kick is countered into the Walls.

After the hold is broken Jericho gets knocked to the apron where he BARELY hangs on. They go to the top rope and both fall to the apron, meaning if they hit the floor they’re out. Both guys get back in and there’s the Codebreaker to Sheamus. Jericho gets Sheamus upside down but can’t get him out. A shot to the face ticks Sheamus off and he catches a Codebreaker attempt to put Jericho on the apron. The Brogue Kick sends Sheamus to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This is one of those Rumbles that is great fun as you watch it live but it loses some steam on a second viewing. They spent a bit too much time on nostalgia and funny ideas here but they were still really good ideas. The ending with Sheamus and Jericho ROCKED and I have no idea why they never got to have a long PPV match. This is a really good Rumble but it never reaches that excellent level that some of them get to.

Sheamus celebrates a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is a unique show as it has a way to save itself from a bad first half. That’s what happened here as the last two matches were certainly good enough to save it from the horrible first few matches. As usual the last two guys would both get world title shots with the winner getting the opening match instead of the real main event, but going on before Rock vs. Cena is hardly torture.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bella Twins/Divas of Doom vs. Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kane vs. John Cena

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Just like last year, not much difference here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/01/29/royal-rumble-2012/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6