Monday Night Raw
Date: December 9, 2013
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s Slammy night which usually means we’re in for anything from fun to annoyance, all while using the awards as props. It’s also the go home show for TLC, meaning we’re going to get a lot of Cena and Orton staring at each other while talking about what their belts mean. Also expect a lot of cameos. Let’s get to it.

The opening is like a big time awards show, talking about what will be announced tonight and talking about who will be here.

Jerry Lawler and Booker T are hosting the awards while Cole and JBL handle commentary.

We open with an explanation of how to download the WWE App. Expect to hear that a lot tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Fandango

Bryan is the hometown boy and has a new shirt. Daniel leapfrogs Fandango to start and dropkicks him down but gets kneed in the ribs for two. Fandango suplexes Bryan down, only to be sent face first into the middle buckle. Bryan pounds him down and hooks the surfboard knee crusher followed by a kick to the chest for two. A sidestep sends Bryan to the floor but Fandango misses a dive, setting up the FLYING GOAT. Bryan hits a running dropkick up against the barricade and we head back inside. Fandango is staggered but manages to catch Bryan coming off the top in a sitout powerbomb for two as we take a break.

Back with Bryan hitting the running clothesline and shaking like the reincarnated Ultimate Warrior. There are the YES Kicks as the Washington crowd goes nuts. The big kick misses so badly that Cole has to acknowledge it but Bryan gets two anyway. Bryan misses the running dropkick in the corner and gets suplexed down for two. Fandango misses the guillotine legdrop but Bryan hits the Swan Dive followed by the running knee to the face for the pin at 9:18.

Rating: C. Better match than I was expecting here with Bryan making Fandango look like a million bucks. That’s what Bryan might be best at and now he has the credibility to give anyone on the roster a rub. Good match here and it’s nice to see Fandango not look like a complete jobber every time he’s out there.

Post match we’ve got Bray on the screen. He doesn’t like Bryan’s unwillingness to comply and the clock is ticking. Bray doesn’t want to watch Bryan suffer because in his world, there are no happy endings or fairy tales. This story ends the same way that it started. Bray needs Bryan to know that he’s going to hurt Bryan bad and prove that Bryan is a monster just like him. In that moment, Bray can take all of Bryan’s pain away, if he’ll join the Family. The lights go out again and the fans chant NO.

Here are Jerry and Booker for our first award of the night. Up first is the Laugh Out Loud Award, presented by the New Age Outlaws, clad in powder blue and neon orange tuxedos, complete with top hats ala Dumb and Dumber. Road Dogg can talk just as fast as he used to. They do some of their schtick but get cut off by a ONE MORE MATCH chant. Billy tries to do the catchphrase but gets cut off.

The nominees are:

Vickie Guerrero being fired and freaking out

Titus O’Neil eating too much and getting sick in JBL’s hat

The Cobra being caught between Jinder Mahal’s and Great Khali’s snake charm flutes

Rock singing about Vickie Guerrero

Apparently we have to wait for the winner to be announced later because voting is still going on.

Back from a break and Rock wins the award. Vickie comes out to take the trophy and say the award represents her beauty.

Damien Sandow vs. Santino Marella

Santino starts with his power walk as Langston is on commentary. Sandow stomps Santino down and puts on a quick chinlock. Santino comes back with his hiptoss and the headbutt before loading up the Cobra. Damien legsweeps him down though and You’re Welcome ends this at 2:30.

Langston and Sandow stare each other down post match.

Shield, wearing suits, are here to present Double Cross of the Year. Before the nominees, Shield recommends never double crossing them. Ambrose cuts Reigns off and Roman doesn’t look pleased. The nominees are:

Mark Henry faking retirement

Shawn Michaels superkicking Daniel Bryan inside the Cell

Paul Heyman costing CM Punk MITB

HHH Pedigreeing Daniel Bryan at Summerslam

The winner is again after a break.

Post break and Shawn Michaels wins. Shawn thinks it’s ironic that he double crossed people for 25 years and wins an award four years after he retired. The fans chant YOU SOLD OUT and Shawn said he did that years ago which is why he’s still here. Shawn didn’t come off like a heel here but he wasn’t the nicest guy in the world.

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

This is another match we don’t need to see again. Kofi gets in a running kick to start but runs into a knee in the corner. A big boot puts Miz down and a few knees to the head get two each. Trouble in Paradise misses and Miz bails to the floor as a result. Miz tries to walk out but Kofi chases him down and blasts Miz in the back of the head. Back in and a springboard shot to the back of Miz’s head gets two. Miz counters a rollup and kicks him into the buckle and rolls Kofi up with a handful of tights for the pin at 2:38. Pretty messy match.

Post match Kofi kicks Miz in the head like a sore loser.

Eve Torres returns to present Diva of the Year. The nominees are:

The Bella Twins

Funkadactyls

Kaitlyn

Natalya

Eva Marie

AJ Lee

After a break the Bella Twins win and are booed out of the building.

Rey Mysterio/Big Show/Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel

Ryback pounds Mysterio down to start but Rey slides through his legs and kicks Ryback in the face. The big guy heads outside to avoid the 619 and heads back inside to face the Big Show. Ryback is shoved into the corner and chopped in the chest before it’s off to Goldust for an elbow drop. Back from a break with Rey spinning Cesaro down with a headscissors before it’s back to Goldust.

Goldie is dragged into the corner and beaten down by Swagger, only to come back with the uppercut to the jaw. Swagger sends him to the floor so Cesaro can clothesline Goldust down for two. Off to Axel for a dropkick and an elbow for two before it’s back to Ryback for some pounding. Swagger puts on a front facelock as we hear about the Ascension Ceremony later tonight. There will be 20 world champions around the ring as the titles are raised into the air for the last time….except for Sunday but at least it’s something new.

Cesaro double stomps Goldust for two and we hit the chinlock. Goldust fights up and powerslams Cesaro down, only to be sent into the corner for a beating from Swagger. The Real Americans both come in but get caught in a double DDT to put everyone down. The hot tag brings in Cody to face Axel as house is cleaned. A springboard missile dropkick puts Axel down and there’s the moonsault press for two as everything breaks down. Big Show spears various heels and Rey tags himself in. The Disaster kick sets up the 619 and the top rope splash pins Axel at 11:40.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t bad but these matches throwing Goldust/Cody vs. any combination of heels are going to stop working eventually. Big Show and Mysterio don’t work for me as a team as they’ve done the big man/little man combination so many times that it just doesn’t hold up.

How to download the WWE App The Sequel!

Booker and Jerry bring out Shawn Michaels to present Superstar of the Year. First though, Shawn declares himself Mr. Slammy. Also, since Shawn was always giving A+ performances, maybe we should call the award the H-B-Shizzle? Anyway, the nominees are:

Brock Lesnar

CM Punk

Big Show

Daniel Bryan

Randy Orton

John Cena

An hour and fifteen minutes in, this show is dedicated to Nelson Mandela. I really hope that was at the beginning of the show as well.

Bryan wins to set up the confrontation with Michaels. Bryan thanks the fans for giving him the H-B-Shizzle Award but also thanks Shawn for costing him the world title. This award is because of the people rather than what the Authority wants. Oh and GO SEAHAWKS.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

Cara now has red white and green tights. We get an inset interview with Del Rio saying he’s a former world champion and Cara is nothing. Del Rio is aggressive to start by headbutting Cara down, only to be cross bodied for his efforts. Cara pounds him on the head but gets caught in a suplex to put him down. More forearms put Del Rio on the floor but he tries to charge back in, only to be dropkicked out to the floor.

A Russell Wilson MVP (Seahawks quarterback) chant starts up as Del Rio is sent into the barricade. Back in and the corner enziguri puts Cara down but Alberto misses what looked to be a dropkick, even though Cara was on the mat. Del Rio rolls to the floor before the Swanton can launch and we take a break. Back with Del Rio holding a chinlock but Cara fighting out and dropkicking Alberto down for two. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Alberto and he takes Sin outside to send him into the barricade.

Back in and we hit another chinlock before the low superkick gets two for Del Rio. Cara avoids a charge into the corner and hits a tornado DDT for two. A handspring elbow gets the same but Del Rio hits the Codebreaker to the arm. Cara escapes the armbreaker and hits a rolling Angle Slam to put Alberto down. The Swanton takes too long to set up though and Cara gets crotched on the top. Del Rio loads up a superplex but gets caught in a sunset bomb, setting up the Swanton for the pin at 11:04.

Rating: B-. If they’re not careful they’re going to make a star out of Sin Cara. It’s remarkable how much better Hunico is at playing the character and he’s nailing this second run. Good match here and it’s good to see Del Rio dropping down the card like he should have done a long time ago.

The Prime Time Players are here to present the Audience Presentation Award, which is basically best chant. They insert the Millions of Dollars dance as an honorable mention. The nominees are:

Fandango-ing

YES! YES! YES!

Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks

What’s Up!

Daniel Bryan wins which isn’t a huge surprise. He says the only thing he can think of: YES! YES! YES!

Brodus Clay vs. Xavier Woods

Woods goes right at him and pounds away in the corner, only to be powerbombed in half to stop the momentum. Brodus hits a middle rope splash for the pin at 39 seconds.

Post match Brodus destroys Woods with elbows and splashes. Woods appears to have hurt ribs.

Here’s Miz to present Insult of the Year. The nominees are:

AJ Lee – “I didn’t get here because I SUCKED….up to the right people.” (Total Divas promo)

Zeb Colter – Almost anything he said

Paul Heyman – Insulting CM Punk

Stephanie McMahon – Insulting Big Show before firing him

Stephanie wins, of course. She says what she said was a huge compliment because everyone knows it was best for business.

CM Punk vs. Dean Ambrose

Rollins and Reigns are staying at ringside. Punk takes him down into a headlock followed by a wicked looking armbar to start. Dean fights up and takes Punk over to the rope, only to be taken down with a hammerlock. Back up and Punk tries a spinning cross body off the ropes but dives into a gutbuster instead. Dean stomps away at the injured ribs and drops an elbow for two before being Punk’s back around the ropes.

Punk has his face shoved into the mat for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. CM fights up and sends Dean chest first into the corner before throwing Ambrose outside to get a breather. The suicide dive takes Ambrose out but Punk has to keep an eye on the rest of the Shield as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose holding a headlock but getting belly to back suplexed down. Punk misses a dropkick and as per wrestling logic, he hurts himself despite landing the same way he would have had the move connected. A swinging neckbreaker gets two on Ambrose and some forearms keep him in trouble. The knee in the corner sets up the Macho Elbow for two but Ambrose comes right back with a butterfly suplex.

Punk’s top rope cross body is rolled through for two but he comes back with the high kick for two of his own. The fans think this is awesome. Ambrose knees him in the rubs but sends Punk to the floor where Shield gets in his face for some reason. The other two members leave and Punk hits a quick GTS for the pin at 17:07.

Rating: B. As I said on Smackdown: this was exactly what you would expect from Punk vs. Ambrose when they get time. I wish they would let someone else lose the fall to Punk, but at least this time we got some storyline development as a result. Very solid TV match here as anyone would have expected.

Post match Reigns comes back in with a spear to Punk’s bad ribs.

We get the same video about what winning the world title means from Smackdown.

Mick Foley presents the Most Extreme Moment of the Year Award. The nominees are:

Shield putting Undertaker through a table in England

Ryback slamming Cena through the set in their last man standing match

CM Punk destroying Heyman on top of the Cell

Wyatt Family crushing Kane’s head at Summerslam

Punk wins although almost none of these were extreme. He says it’s weird to win an award without wearing pants but promises to be even more extreme on Sunday against the Shield.

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Jey tries to speed things up on Rowan to start and manages to dropkick him out to the floor. In a cool spot, Jey dives through the ropes while Jimmy dives off the top to take out Harper. Bray laughs as we take a break. Back with Harper holding Jey in a chinlock before bringing in Rowan for a fallaway slam. Erick misses a charge in the corner and the hot tag brings in Jimmy for a Samoan drop and the running Umaga attack in the corner. Everything breaks down and Harper gets superkicked down, setting up the Superfly Splash for two as Rowan makes the save. Rowan is kicked down as well but Harper takes Jey’s head off for the pin at 8:28.

Rating: C-. The show is starting to drag but at least the match wasn’t too bad. That lariat is absolutely awesome and proves that a simple move can become something special if it’s given enough time. Rowan is looking better and better every time he’s out there which is nothing but good.

Bret Hart presents the Match of the Year Award. The nominees are:

CM Punk vs Undertaker – Wrestlemania 29

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Shield – Battleground

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar – Extreme Rules

The Rock vs. John Cena – Wrestlemania 29

Rock vs. Cena wins which is as good as anything else I guess. Cena gets a mixed reaction but it’s mainly booing for his standard acceptance speech.

Natalya vs. Tamina Snuka

Since this show hasn’t gone on long enough already. Tamina takes her into the corner and stomps away as AJ looks on with an evil smile from ringside. Natalya avoids a charge and hits a discus lariat but goes after AJ. Tamina picks up Natalya but accidentally swings her into AJ, allowing Natalya to put on the Sharpshooter for the win at 1:37.

There are twenty former world or WWE Champions in the ring for the final segment. We have Swagger, Christian, Bryan, Mysterio, Miz, Henry, Khali, HHH, Booker T, Kane, Bret, Punk, Foley, Del Rio, Big Show, HBK and Ziggler. HHH gives an introduction but a Daniel Bryan chant makes him pause. Henry raises Bryan’s hand to really fire up the crowd. This is one heck of a chant as the YES YES YES keeps it going. HHH finally gets a word in and brings out Cena and Orton to bring us up to 19 champions (JBL was supposed to be #20 but he’s still on commentary).

The belts are placed on the hanger and Orton talks about what image means to Cena. He gets annoyed at the fans chanting YES before talking about taking years off Foley’s career and embarrassing Shawn over and over. There wouldn’t have had to be a Montreal Screwjob because Orton would have knocked Bret out cold. The fans think Orton sucks before booing Cena out of the building as well. Cena says Orton talked about working hard and asks Bryan to stand next to him.

Cena asks Bryan where he’s from and if his parents were WWE Superstars. Bryan says no, but YES he’s had to work for everything he’s achieved in WWE. Orton hasn’t had to work his entire career because the right guys liked him. Now he hides behind the Authority and says he’s bigger than everything here. Orton has always blamed everyone else for his failure and has had behavior problems everywhere.

The only reason Randy wants the titles is greed but Cena has always given opportunities. When no one wanted Ziggler, Cena said let’s fight. When Punk was about to leave, Cena agreed to give the best in the world the title shot. When Daniel Bryan was the hottest thing in WWE, Cena gave him a shot and lost. Orton is going to need luck on Sunday and they

very tensely shake hands. The belts are raised and the brawl is on.

Punk goes after Orton but HHH throws Punk down. That earns the boss a beating but Shawn kicks Punk down to save his buddy. Bryan hits the running knee on Shawn but has to avoid an RKO, shoving Orton into Stephanie in the process (crowd: “YES! YES! YES”!). HHH Pedigrees Orton as Cena and Kane help Stephanie up. The fans chant for Bryan as Orton looks at the Authority and Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show was…..long. It set up the three major matches at TLC but the awards gimmick got old about an hour into the show. Bryan and Shield looked good tonight but other than that the awards felt like they were as planned as they possibly could have been. The ending segment came close to saving it but only brought it up to decent. The show wasn’t bad for the most part but it felt like a show you could have just read online the next morning and gotten everything you needed to know out of it.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Fandango – Running knee

Damien Sandow b. Santino Marella – You’re Welcome

The Miz b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup

Rey Mysterio/Big Show/Goldust/Cody Rhodes b. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel – Top rope splash to Axel

Sin Cara b. Alberto Del Rio – Swanton Bomb

Brodus Clay b. Xavier Woods – Middle rope splash

CM Punk b. Dean Ambrose – GTS

Wyatt Family b. Usos – Discus lariat to Jey

Natalya b. Tamina Snuka – Sharpshooter

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Some of these are actually big deals.

Breakout Star of the Year: The Shield

“This is Awesome!” Moment of the Year: Big Show knocks out Triple H

Trending Now (Hashtag of the Year): #BelieveInTheShield

Beard of the Year: Daniel Bryan

The following Slammy Awards were given out on WWE.com today:

“What a Maneuver!” Award: Roman Reigns’ spear

Faction of the Year: The Shield

“You Still Got It!” Award: Goldust

Couple of the Year: Daniel Bryan & Brie Bella

Tag Team of the Year: Cody Rhodes & Goldust

Feat of Strength Award: Mark Henry pulls two trucks with his bare hands

“Say What!?” Quote of the Year: Dustry Rhodes “huckleberry” promo

Best Dance Moves: The Funkadactyls

Favorite Web Show: The JBL & Cole Show

Best Crowd of the Year: Raw after WrestleMania 29 (East Rutherford, NJ)

Catchphrase of the Year: “YES! YES! YES!”

Smackdown
Date: December 6, 2013
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re closing in on TLC and a lot more of the card has been set in stone. The main stories coming out of Raw are the two handicap matches for TLC with Punk taking on the Shield and Bryan facing the Wyatts. Tonight it’s Punk against a member of Shield to be announced tonight. Other than that we’re likely to get talking from Orton and/or Cena. Let’s get to it.

Theme song.

Here’s Orton to open the show. He talks about becoming the champion of champions at TLC (still sounds better than Unified Champion) and shows us a clip from the end of Raw where Cena put him through a table. Even though Orton has about five injuries as a result, he’ll still prove his greatness at TLC. He may not be the most likeable of characters but he’s never liked any of us or John Cena. Orton does however revere Stephanie and HHH because they know what’s best for business. Maybe he’s taken some things they’ve done for him for granted so Orton would like to apologize.

Before he can get all the way through though, here’s Daniel Bryan to point his fingers in the air a lot. Bryan says Orton needs to apologize for being a champion. In all of their title matches, Orton never once legitimately beat him. Just because Bryan has been targeted by the Wyatts, he hasn’t forgotten about Orton or what Orton did to him. Daniel says that after TLC, he’s going to be first in line for a title shot at the new champion. Tonight though he’s looking at the face of the WWE and feels like putting a knee on that face. Orton says no but Bryan appeals to the crowd for a YES chant. Randy just stands there.

Big E. Langston vs. Fandango

Non-title and Sandow is on commentary. Langston’s music seems to have been remixed. The champion throws Fandango around with ease and drives his shoulder into Fandango’s ribs. Fandango is sent to the floor but Langston takes too much time going after him and gets clotheslined down. Back in and Fandango puts on a front facelock but shoves Fandango off like he’s a cruiserweight. Some clotheslines set up the Warrior splash but Fandango comes back with a kick to the head and a knee to the jaw for two. Langston shrugs it off and hits the Big Ending for the pin at 2:35.

Post match Sandow gets in the ring to point at Langston’s belt. Dang they’re warming up for the Wrestlemania Point early this year.

We get the opening of Smackdown from WWE 2K14 via Youtube. Riveting stuff of course.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Non-title. This is fallout from Main Event where Goldust had Ryback beaten but Curtis came in for the DQ. Cody starts with Ryback as JBL tries some portmanteaus of Ryback and Axel’s names. Goldust quickly comes in and gets caught in a gorilla press for two. Ryback hits a middle rope splash and Axel drops a middle rope elbow for two as the announcers talk about Superstar of the Year. The former Heyman Guys take turns on Goldust until it’s off to Axel for a chinlock.

Back up and Axel misses a dropkick and walks into a powerslam to give Goldie a breather. The not hot tag brings in Cody with a missile dropkick and the sunset flip out of the corner for two. Cody’s moonsault press gets two and everything breaks down. Goldust knocks Ryback to the floor and Cody lays him out with a Disaster Kick off the announcers’ table. Rhodes heads back inside and is immediately rolled up by Axel for the pin at 4:24.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere, but are we really jobbing one of the hottest acts in the company to Axel and Ryback? I was hoping this whole “champions lose to set up a title match” bit was taking a hiatus but apparently WWE was just luring me into a false sense of security.

Orton vs. Bryan is official for later.

Bad News Barrett tells us that we’re all sheep who will follow each other to the slaughter.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

Del Rio jumps Kingston on the floor before the bell and sends him into the barricade. Kofi gets put in the armbreaker for some screaming as referees try to pull Del Rio off. No match, but haven’t we seen Del Rio destroy Kofi after a loss before?

We recap Punk’s issues with Shield leading up to the handicap match at TLC.

Shield promises to hurt Punk tonight but they’re going to leave him healthy enough to make it to TLC. It’s going to be Ambrose facing Punk tonight.

Dean Ambrose vs. CM Punk

Non-title because the US Title is nothing but a trophy again. Rollins and Reigns stay in the crowd to keep it one on one. Punk has bad ribs coming into this. Cole: “Punk didn’t tape his ribs. Why put a target on his back?” Punk grabs a headlock to start but misses the high kick as Ambrose hangs onto the rope. Dean charges into a big boot of all things from Punk, setting up four straight legdrops for two for Punk.

Dean comes back with a knee to the ribs to take over and Cole completely ignores it to read more nominees. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Punk fights out and forearms Ambrose in the head. The GTS is countered with another shot to the ribs but Ambrose bails to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Dean stomping on the bad ribs like the smart heel that he is. Dean keeps taunting Punk as he peppers him with right hands before hooking a crossface chicken wing. Punk is down so Ambrose goes up, only to miss a top rope elbow drop. The springboard clothesline gets two for Punk and the running knee in the corner gets the same. Ambrose counters the swinging neckbreaker into a backslide which sets up a Fujiwara Armbar to stay on the arm.

Dean lets it go for some reason but counters another GTS attempt into a sleeper. Punk rolls through that into the Anaconda Vice but Dean quickly makes a rope. The Macho Elbow is broken up with a superplex for two and Dean goes back to the armbar. Punk gets into the ropes as well and finally scores with the high kick for two. The GTS, Bulldog Driver and another GTS are all countered and Punk is sent shoulder first into the post, giving Ambrose a rollup (with a handful of trunks) for two more. Not that it matters as another high kick sets up the GTS for the pin at 13:00.

Rating: B-. Good match, annoying booking. There are three Shield members to pick from. One is a champion, one is the golden boy and the other is Seth Rollins. Why in the would wasn’t this Rollins doing a job for Punk? The match would have been entertaining and you keep the title looking strong at the same time. It’s really not that complicated of an idea but WWE continues to mess it up. The match was what you would expect from Punk vs. Ambrose for 13 minutes, but why did Ambrose go after the arm so much when Punk had bad ribs coming in?

Renee Young (looking stunning in a red dress) is with Rey Mysterio in the back. She asks Rey which world title means more. Before Rey can answer, the Real Americans (now in matching jackets with Cesaro’s saying Toni and Swagger’s saying Big Hoss) come up and asks to see Rey’s papers.

Colter wants to know what’s up with Mysterio’s mask, if that’s even his real name. Rey says he was born and raised in San Diego, California but is Mexican in his heart. Colter thinks Rey’s title reigns should be stricken from the record books but Rey thinks the Real Americans should be stricken from the building. Zeb throws out a challenge for a tag match with Rey getting a partner. Rey says si.

Natalya vs. Tamina Snuka

AJ is on commentary and talks about how she was the most interesting Diva in the match just by skipping around in a circle. Tamina gets caught by a quick clothesline for two but she easily shoves Natalya to the floor. Nattie gets rammed ribs first into the apron a few times before Tamina takes it back inside to crank on Natalya’s arms.

Cole spends the match trying to make AJ into a heel by asking why she thinks she’s above the title which just isn’t working. Natalya gets two off a low dropkick but Tamina kicks out of the Sharpshooter. A Samoan drop puts Natalya down but she misses the Superfly Splash, giving Natalya the pin at 2:59.

Post match Natalya yells at AJ to no effect.

The Funkadactyls sell stuff and annoy me by existing.

Real Americans vs. Rey Mysterio/???

The mystery partner is Big Show, who apparently is just going to forget about the whole Authority ruining his life thing. Big Show chops Swagger in the corner and headbutts him down to start. Off to Rey for a top rope hurricanrana but Swager counters the sitout bulldog into a wheelbarrow slam in a nice move. Cesaro gets in a neck snap across the top rope as Cole brings up Cesaro making Titus sick last week.

Mysterio fights out of the corner but Jack sends him out to the floor. Back in and the Real Americans take turns pounding on Rey until the sitout bulldog takes Swagger down. Double tags bring in Cesaro and Big Show so the giant can clean house. A spear gets two on Cesaro as Swagger makes the save, only to have Rey hit a quick 619 to Jack. Big Show chokeslams Cesaro, setting up a Rey splash from Big Show’s shoulders for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: D+. Just a match here with a very short version of the tag team formula. Big Show being in the midcard again is a better fit for him, but I really hope this doesn’t lead to a big man/little man tag team. The Real Americans continue to go from hot to cold like no one else on the roster.

We get a video package of various champions over the years, talking about what being champion meant to them. It’s mainly a collection of promos from their careers with a few guys sitting down to talk about what the win means. Cool stuff.

HHH’s sitdown interview talks about how great the unification match will be and guarantees that the King of Kings will crown the Champion of Champions.

Bad News Barrett has some good news for us. There will be a Champion of Champions after TLC, but that man will have a target on his chest. He’ll be the hunted, making him the envy of the locker room, meaning he’s doomed.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

Non-title of course. They fight into the corner to start with neither being able to get an advantage. Orton takes over with some right hands but Bryan fights out of the corner with punches of his own. Daniel goes after the arm as the announcers discuss Bryan joining the Wyatts. Orton comes back with the backbreaker for two and a clothesline puts Bryan down. Bryan scores with a dropkick to send Orton to the floor but Orton moves before the FLYING GOAT can launch.

We take a break and come back with Orton getting two off something we didn’t see before putting on a chinlock. Bryan fights out and moonsaults over Randy to set up the running clothesline. A pair of running dropkicks in the corner set up some kicks to Orton’s chest and a top rope hurricanrana gets two for Bryan. Daniel sends him to the floor and now the FLYING GOAT connects.

Back in and the missile dropkick drops Randy again and there are the YES kicks. The big one misses as is the new custom and Orton gets two off a powerslam. Orton connects with the Elevated DDT but Bryan counters the RKO into a backslide for two. Now the big kick lays out Orton and the Swan Dive…..doesn’t launch because we’ve got Wyatts. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the pin at 8:44 shown of 12:14.

Rating: C+. Bryan continues his roll but it’s clear his time on top is over. The ending keeps the Bryan vs. Wyatts feud going but doesn’t do much for Daniel himself. It does however give Bryan some more momentum going into the PPV which is a good idea, but unfortunately it’s at Bryan’s expense.

Post match Bray pops up on screen and says tick tock over and over. He doesn’t mean to keep haunting Bryan, but how many times does Bryan have to cross a burning bridge to know he doesn’t have to fight this battle alone? Bryan knows what they are, but at TLC he’ll learn what he himself is. Bray laughs to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They’re doing a decent job of building up to TLC but not everything was clicking tonight. Bad News Barrett is going to bomb and it’s going to bomb badly. There’s just nothing there at the moment and the insults are as easy as you can think of. On the other hand, the handicap matches are going to be solid with Bryan vs. Wyatts getting more interesting every show. The world title match is looking more and more like a screwy finish every week, but at least we have a new buzz phrase with Champion of Champions.

Results

Big E. Langston b. Fandango – Big Ending

Curtis Axel/Ryback b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Rollup to Rhodes

CM Punk b. Dean Ambrose – GTS

Natalya b. Tamina Snuka – Pin after a missed Superfly Splash

Big Show/Rey Mysterio b. Real Americans – Splash to Swagger

Randy Orton b. Daniel Bryan – RKO

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 2, 2013
Location: Chesapeake Energy Arena, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re closing in on TLC now since a title unification match eleven years in the making only needs three weeks of build. Tonight we have a contract signing between Orton and Cena which is bound to wind up in some kind of an altercation. On top of that we might find out what happened when the human goat was kidnapped by the backwoods religious cult. That could only happen in wrestling or a very disturbing movie. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Punk to open the show. He says he’s in denial because last week he made the sin of criticizing HHH on Raw. Now he finds himself here in denial because there has to be something between insulting the Authority and being attacked by Shield last week. If he’s right, that makes the Authority the biggest group of cowardly censored something that starts with a D in history.

This brings out a smiling Stephanie with something to say. She hopes everyone had a good Thanksgiving but thinks Punk is way off base here. Would the Authority be the kind of people to send the Shield after Punk because of a simple insult? They’ve matured further than that and the Authority had nothing to do with the attack last week. They have more important things to do tonight, including overseeing the contract signing. Stephanie is fair though and says Punk can bring up any concerns with Kane.

Kane reiterates that the Authority had nothing to do with the Shield’s attack, so this issue is resolved, unless Punk has any questions. Punk asks when Kane because this corporate suck up and advises Kane not to patronize him. Punk wants Kane in the ring right now but Stephanie holds him back. Instead here’s the Shield so Punk immediately grabs a chair. Stephanie tells Shield to stop because Punk is to be respected and admired. She leaves so Kane makes a handicap match for TLC with Punk vs. all three members of Shield.

Damien Sandow vs. Dolph Ziggler

The winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot at TLC so Langston is at ringside. Ziggler hits a quick dropkick for two and a clothesline puts Sandow down. Langston says he’d rather face Dolph instead of saying he’d like to face either guy. They head to the floor with Ziggler being dropped face first onto the steps for a two count. Langston talks about competing in Skip-It with Ziggler back when they were close to confuse JBL.

The Wind-Up Elbow gets two for Sandow but he misses a middle rope moonsault. Ziggler rains down right hands in the corner and drops Sandow with a neckbreaker for two. A sunset flip gets the same and Sandow misses his running flip neckbreaker. The Fameasser gets two on Damien but Ziggler gets crotched on the top and You’re Welcome sends Sandow to TLC at 3:54.

Rating: C. This was something the title has missed for far too long: someone winning a match over an established name to earn a title shot. There’s nothing overly complicated to that idea and it works fine here. Langston doesn’t have to lose a match to set it up, Sandow gets a win and we have a title match down the road. Why is that so much to ask for most of the time?

Summer Rae/Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins/Natalya

The non-Total Divas are now the True Divas. AJ skips around the ring while Nikki gets two off a crucifix on Tamina to start. Brie comes in with a middle rope dropkick and a running knee to Snuka’s chest. AJ is still skipping around the ring. Summer chokes Brie on the ropes and shows off her flexibility before getting a two count.

Brie finally fights out and makes the tag to Natalya who speeds things up a bit. Tamina is knocked off the apron so Summer shouts at AJ to stop skipping and make the tag. AJ finally comes in and nearly gets caught in the Sharpshooter as everything breaks down. The distraction lets Natalya roll up AJ for the pin at 4:18.

Rating: D. Here’s the problem with the Total Divas face push in a nutshell: we haven’t been given a reason to care about them. There was never a moment where they were all turned face, other than AJ’s promo from months ago which was all true stuff. WWE is assuming that fans like the Total Divas because they have a reality show and the Bellas date Cena and Bryan, though I don’t think Cena and Nikki have ever been announced on WWE TV. Other than that, they just started being faces and the announcers started talking about AJ being mean. That’s not enough to build a boring feud on and it’s showing badly.

AJ skips away post match.

Here’s Wade Barrett’s new gimmick: Bad News Barrett, standing at a podium next to the announcers’ desk. He has good news and bad news for us. The good: we’re live on Raw. The bad: we’re stuck in a place full of hillbillies that had to name their city after the state they live in. Barrett thanks the crowd and the words #Bad News Barrett appear on screen. End segment.

Orton demands that Brad Maddox tell the WWE Universe that he’s a bigger star and a more well known name than Cena.

Daniel Bryan vs. Erick Rowan

So after disappearing last week, Bryan appears to be fine. There’s no Bray in sight. Bryan goes after Rowan to start before grabbing a sleeper, only to be flipped down onto his back. A hard slam puts Bryan down as JBL talks about Shakespeare writing psycho babble. The beating continues with Rowan throwing Bryan to the floor, only to be dropkicked in the ribs on the way back in. Bryan’s dive is caught in mid air and Rowan slams him into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Bryan fighting out of a chinlock but being slammed right back down instead. Rowan takes him to the floor and sends Bryan into the steps but Bryan comes back with a drop toehold into the corner. The running dropkick staggers Rowan but Bryan charges into an elbow to put him down. Some knees to the head get two for Erick and we hit the chinlock with a knee in Bryan’s back.

Daniel tries another comeback but charges into a fallaway slam. Rowan hits a running splash in the corner for two as JBL thinks Bryan should join the Wyatt Family. Bryan finally comes back with a dropkick to send Rowan to the floor, setting up the FLYING GOAT. Back in and the missile dropkick puts Erick down but the big YES Kick is blocked. Bryan is put on the top rope and kicked in the face but he slides down Rowan’s back for the rollup pin at 14:03.

Rating: C+. This was the power vs. speed formula worked very well. On top of that it made Rowan look better than he ever has before as he dominated about twelve minutes out of the fourteen in the match. What more can you ask for from a match to build up the Bryan vs. Bray feud?

Post match Bray pops up on screen and tells the Wyatts to stand down. He talks about doing a lot of horrible things since he’s been on this earth and that he can admit when he’s in the wrong. Bray was wrong about Bryan when he thought Bryan was just chasing the improbable dream. How long is Bryan willing to live this lie and soil their red carpet? They look at Bryan like he’s a gorilla in a cage and will never love him like Bray could. Together they could bring the machine to its knees if Bryan will just open his eyes.

Post break Bryan is walking around in the back when he runs into Kane. The big man congratulates him on his success but makes Bryan vs. the three members of the Wyatt Family at TLC. We even get a mini-finger pointing yes from Kane.

Xavier Woods/R-Truth vs. Tons of Funk

This is over Woods borrowing Brodus’ music a bit too much. Brodus slams Woods down to start and apparently has scales on the back of his singlet now. Off to Tensai for some shoulders but Woods fights back with forearms. Truth comes in and pounds away on Tensai but gets run over with ease. The catapult sends him throat first into the middle rope and it’s back to Clay for some gyrations.

Truth comes back with a forearm to put both guys down and there’s the hot tag off to Woods. Things speed up a bit and the Honor Roll gets two on Clay but he comes back with the release suplex. Woods avoids the middle rope splash and gets the most awkward looking side roll you’ll see in a long time for the pin at 4:10.

Rating: D+. The fans were silent for most of this but the match was decent enough from a technical standpoint. Woods will grow on the fans if he’s allowed to be the comedy character he’s best at, but being Truth’s lackey isn’t going to do much for him. This is as good a way as any to bring him in though.

Clay glares at Tensai post match.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

Sin Cara has a large tattoo on his arm and shoulder, which means it might be Hunico under the mask instead of Mistico. The lighting is back again. Cara scores with a top rope armdrag and some kicks to the legs before a spinning armdrag off the top puts him down again. Del Rio heads to the floor and gets (mostly) caught by an Asai Moonsault.

Back in and Del Rio kicks Cara out to the floor before putting on a chinlock. A double stomp to Cara’s back gets two but Cara comes back with a nice to rope headbutt. Sin gets two off a spinning springboard cross body but gets caught in a German suplex for two. Del Rio misses the corner enziguri and gets caught by a Swanton Bomb for the huge upset at 4:43.

Rating: C. Has the writing staff completely changed tonight? We’ve had a #1 contenders match for a midcard title, a feud over stolen music and now a completely clean upset win. These are actually fresh ideas and they’re really helping things. WWE has been needing some new plot devices and it’s very nice to see some happening tonight.

Cena talks about the argument over which title is better raging for fifty years. We get a Flair and Hogan imitation to perk the false history up a little bit before Cena says the titles mean everything.

Shield says Punk can’t last with any of them at TLC.

Goldust/Cody Rhodes/Big Show vs. Shield

Big Show starts with Ambrose with the giant taking over with a headbutt and elbow drop. There’s the skin ripping chop in the corner and it’s off to Rollins who gets clotheslined inside out. We get the showdown with Reigns who has his vest ripped open for an even louder chop. Reigns goes to the eyes to bring in Ambrose, only to have him get slammed off the top.

Goldust and Cody both get their turns with some shots to Ambrose before Cody hits a seated knee for two. A delayed release front suplex gets two on Rollins and it’s back to Goldie for a few moments. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Cody who cleans house in the Shield corner. The moonsault press gets two on Ambrose but Dean escapes Cross Rhodes. Dean cranks on Cody’s arm to take over and we take a break.

Back with Rollins cranking on Cody’s arm before bringing Dean in again to stomp at the ribs. Roman comes back in and works on the arm even more before Rollins hits a splash in the corner. Cody finally gets in a shot to Dean’s ribs but Reigns breaks up the tag. Roman’s elbow misses though and there’s the hot tag off to Big Show. Ambrose low bridges Big Show to the floor for an eight count before Rollins can hit the top rope knee for no cover. Reigns puts on a front facelock and gets two off a shoulder block before it’s back to Dean for a sleeper.

Show suplexes him down and chokeslams an invading Reigns, giving us the final hot tag to Goldust. The Golden one hits his uppercut and a freaking hurricanrana of all things as everything breaks down. Dean dropkicks Cody to the floor but Big Show low bridges Ambrose out as well. Goldust’s powerslam puts Rollins down but Reigns spears Big Show. Cody takes out Reigns off to the apron but might have injured his elbow. Goldust loads up a superplex on Dean but Seth gets a quick rollup on Goldust for the pin at 20:40.

Rating: B-. The match picked up a lot at the end but felt like it was filling in time until the end of the match. The problem for me is the Rhodes brothers and Shield have fought in some combination six times on TV since the beginning of November alone. They need to keep these teams apart for awhile to make the matches feel special again before the magic goes away.

Punk is asked about how he feels for the handicap match. Apparently he feels pretty and witty and gay but changes his mind. He knows he’s going down but wants to know how many members of the Shield he’s taking with him.

More Bad News Barrett. The bad news is Americans celebrated Thanksgiving, meaning their arteries are now clogged and they sweat when they eat. End segment.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Kofi Kingston/The Miz

Axel and Miz get things going with Miz taking over with a clothesline. Off to Kofi to crank on the arm and bring Miz back in with an ax handle to the shoulder. Axel’s clothesline to the back of the head puts Miz down and it’s back to Ryback. The monster shoves Miz around and clotheslines his head off to follow up. A delayed vertical suplex sets up a bearhug on the mat to work on the ribs.

Back to Axel for a dropkick before Ryback comes in again with a kick to the head. The second bearhug doesn’t last long either as Miz fights out, eventually making the hot tag to Kofi. Things speed up a bit and Kofi pounds away in the corner, only to be distracted by Axel, allowing Ryback to take over. A Shell Shock out of nowhere ends Kingston at 5:57.

Rating: D. Ryback and Axel are fine as a team but the match was there as a way to advance Kofi vs. Miz even more. Miz’s heel turn has worked decently so far as he’s getting to be the jerk that he naturally is, but he needs to do more than just roll up Kofi all the time. Dull match for the most part.

Post match Miz slaps Kofi.

Los Matadores sell us stuff.

Fandango vs. Mark Henry

Henry throws Fandango around to start and gyrates to Summer a bit. Well he was Sexual Chocolate after all. Fandango avoids a charge in the corner and hits a few shots, including a top rope cross body. It looked like Henry was supposed to catch him in midair but fell backwards instead. The World’s Strongest Slam ends Fandango at 3:20.

Rating: D+. Henry dancing was funny but that’s about it. This was even more fime filling tonight on a show that didn’t need any more of that at all. I can’t complain about seeing Summer Rae twice in a single night and she looked great out there but there wasn’t much else to talk about here.

We look at Titus in the food eating contest and then getting sick in JBL’s hat.

Real Americans vs. Prime Time Players

Titus runs over Swagger to start as the announcers talk about stomach ailments. A Cesaro distraction doesn’t do much as Titus sends Jack flying in a release fallaway slam. Swagger gets a boot up in the corner to send O’Neal to the floor followed by a hard clothesline. The Vader Bomb sets up the jumping double stomp for two as the announcers think Titus might get sick again.

A double back elbow gets two for the Americans and we hit the armbar. Now it’s off to a chinlock from Cesaro before he loads up the Swing. Swagger and Colter tell him not to for fear of Titus getting sick but Cesaro does a short version. O’Neal looks to be getting sick but falls into the corner for a tag off to Young. Darren cleans house with some nice suplexes but dives into the uppercut for the pin by Cesaro at 6:48.

Rating: D+. I guess this is another of those matches where they’re appealing to a certain demographic, but it’s certainly not mine. This wasn’t funny but I’ve never been one for the gross out style of comedy. If nothing else, Titus deserves better than this. I can’t believe I’m saying that but it’s true.

The new champion will be called the Unified Champion. I can’t imagine they’ll go with that.

Here are HHH and Stephanie for the contract signing. They make it clear that there will be ONE champion after the title match which is a good thing to make definitive. Both guys come out and HHH runs down the history of both titles, of course playing up the made up history of the World Title. Both guys sign and Orton talks about all the greats that have held the title, but he’s better than all of them.

Orton says he and the people here have something in common: they don’t like Cena very much. He’s the only person capable of taking Cena down and he’ll do that in two weeks. Cena says they’ve met before and Orton reminds Cena of kicking his dad in the head. The only reason Cena is on this earth is to lose every big match he’s ever in. The only dream Orton has ever turned into a nightmare was HHH’s because Orton never lived up to his potential.

Orton was supposed to be the best but he let a guy in a t-shirt and a ball cap take him down. Cena never asked to be the face of anything and he earned his title instead of having it handed to him. He may not be the Apex Predator but he’s John Cena. John challenges Randall to make a move but if he does he’ll show him what tables, ladders and chairs are all about. Orton flips the table and the fight is on.

Cena hits him with a ladder but Orton sends him into the post to take over. Orton loads up the announce table but Cena blasts him with another ladder and some chair shots to back it up. Randy is sent into the steps and back inside but he gets in a ladder shot of his own. Some chair shots put Cena down and Orton loads up a table. Cena sends him through a table in the corner though and it’s an AA through the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is another show where it needed to be two hours. There were some actually fresh ideas out there with Sin Cara beating Del Rio intriguing me. Hunico is a better fit for the character and could take it to some far better places than Mistico. The bulk of the second half felt like a lot of time filler though which doesn’t make for an entertaining show. The good was stronger than the bad but also less frequent which drags the show down slightly. Still decent enough though.

Results

Damien Sandow b. Dolph Ziggler – You’re Welcome

Bella Twins/Natalya b. AJ Lee/Summer Rae/Tamina Snuka – Rollup

Daniel Bryan b. Erick Rowan – Rollup

Xavier Woods/R-Truth b. Tons of Funk – Oklahoma roll to Clay

Sin Cara b. Alberto Del Rio – Swanton Bomb

Shield b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Big Show – Rollup to Goldust

Real Americans b. Prime Time Players – Uppercut to Young

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Smackdown
Date: November 29, 2011
Location: Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

This is a special edition of the show as it’s airing live on Tuesday. Also it’s the holiday episode, which I think is a catch all for Thanksgiving and Christmas, which is next month but whatever. Foley is the host for the evening and we have a world title match in a cage with Henry vs. Bryan. Let’s get to it.

The show opens with fake snow and Josh saying there was a snow storm that started a few seconds ago.

Here’s Foley. There’s a Christmas set. Aren’t they pulling this out a little early? I mean we have Christmas music, Foley in a Santa suit, Christmas lights at the table and all that jazz. He points out that it’s still November but he’s a Christmas fanatic. What Good Old JR is to barbecue sauce and what the Ultimate Warrior is to arm tassels, he is to Christmas. For us tonight, we have a world title match between Tiny Tim and the Ghost of Christmas Fear inside a steel cage. There’s also a miracle on 34th street fight, an over the top rope battle royal where the winner gets their Christmas wish granted…and Michael Cole.

Foley can’t get around the contract and Cole’s legal team, but he can pick how Cole has to dress. Cue Cole in a Rudolph costume. Josh is in an elf outfit so he can’t complain much. Foley also brings out Booker, who is also in a Santa outfit. Foley asks for a Spinarooni to make up for This is your Life from a few weeks ago. It’s set to the Dradle Song because they both spin. The hat comes off but the fans cheer for it so all is well.

Cue Cody all in white. Well mostly in white. He says that he’s seeing clearly now and says that he’s not going to let someone take up the time when that person can’t perform in the ring anymore. Booker says he can still go and calls Cody son. Foley cuts Cody off and makes Booker vs. Cody for later. No word on if this is for the title or not. First up, let’s have a Divas match.

Alicia Fox vs. Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella vs. Natalya vs. Kaitlyn vs. AJ vs. Tamina vs. Aksana

This is a mistletoe on a pole match, which means you have to climb up and get the mistletoe. The winner gets something they can cash in before Christmas. Brie wins at 57 seconds after climbing on Nikki. I have no idea if I got all the competitors or not, not do I care.

Foley says Brie gets to kiss any superstar she wants before Christmas. Ok then.

Justin Gabriel vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal runs down Christmas before the show starts. We hear about how Mahal has hates DiBiase for giving away all his money. Cue DiBiase in a Santa hat with a bag. He throws out WWE gifts to fans. The distraction lets Gabriel hit an STO and the 450 for the pin at 2:15.

Foley is learning the Siva Tao from the Usos when Piper comes up. He wants a new straightjacket for Christmas. Horny and some good looking woman are having egg nog. Dusty Rhodes is here. He offers Horny a picture of Lagy Gaga and something about sandwich. Dusty says there are some strange people here and turns around into Goldust. There’s something awesome about that. Oh the chick is Maxine.

Piper is talking to someone when Otunga comes up with the coffee cup and has an announcement from Johnny Ace. The holiday music has to be in the public domain. Eh we might as well shut the party down now. Foley and Piper are like dude…..you are in WAY over your head. Foley puts Otunga in the street fight tonight against Randy Orton.

We recap Booker vs. Cody. Booker is in the back when Cody jumps him with the belt, injuring his arm.

Kofi Kingston vs. Tyson Kidd

This should be good. Booker vs. Cody is officially off. Tyson has hair now. They start off pretty fast and both guys go down off a double clothesline. Kidd hits the floor to avoid Trouble in Paradise but Kofi hits a dropkick out there anyway. Kofi gets in Cole’s face for some reason and steals the reindeer hat. Kidd gets in a shot and somehow this isn’t a double countout yet. Kofi puts the hat and nose on, finishing with the top rope cross body at 3:33.

Rating: C. Total comedy match and that’s fine. The idea of the reindeer flying to end it was good but we need to get Bourne back already so Kofi can defend the title instead of just holding it. I think he’s due back tomorrow or something so it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Decent match but with more time it would have been even better.

Kaitlyn tells Horny he should wish to be taller. Teddy and Sheamus are talking and Sheamus asks what the winner of the battle royal (20 man) gets. Teddy doesn’t know but whatever it is, it’ll be worth it. Cue Aksana who has mistletoe with her. And Aksana eats it instead of kissing Teddy.

Randy Orton vs. David Otunga

This is a street fight. There are a bunch of Christmas trees at ringside as well as presents that slide around the floor. Otunga is in red shorts now instead of his normal trunks. Randy throws him into a bunch of trees and then the announce table. There’s a tray of cookies there so Orton has a bite, gives a face as if to say not bad, then smacks Otunga with the tray.

He grabs a wreath off the post, shouts HO HO HO in Otunga’s face (legit made me laugh) and sends him into the steps. Otunga goes under the ring and finds a kendo stick made to look like a candy cane. Orton takes him down though and beats Otunga with it as Otunga runs. Orton picks up a present and chucks it at David’s head to knock him down.

They go up the stage and Otunga goes into the big tree. There’s an elevated DDT to the floor but Barrett runs out for the beatdown. It would have helped a lot had Orton not looked over his shoulder just before the DDT. The big boot he takes Orton down with gets two and Otunga’s time is measured in seconds. There’s the finishing sequence and the RKO ends this at 7:38.

Rating: C+. This was meant to be a totally fun match and that’s all it was ever supposed to be. Barrett running in even advances the storyline a bit and it helped things somewhat. I had a very good time with this but I’m a total Christmas geek so I’m about as biased as you can be here. Fun match and it worked all around.

Henry is getting taped up and Teddy comes in. Mark yells at him and says he’ll take his anger out on Bryan.

Battle Royal

There are twenty people in this and I’ll let you figure out who all is in it yourselves. I see Mahal, Slater, the Usos, Jackson, Sheamus, O’Neil, Watson, DiBiase, Hunico, Reks, Gabriel, Kidd and Horny. Sheamus is by far the biggest name in this. Hawkins and Young are in there. Young is out quickly as is I think Jey Uso. JTG is in this and as soon as I say this he’s eliminated. DiBiase and Gabriel try to get Hawkins out but can’t quite do it. Kofi and Yoshi Tatsu are in this and I think that’s everyone.

There goes Hawkins at the hands of Big Zeke. We get the showdown with Jackson and Sheamus with with pale One beating him down. Jackson sets for a big clotheline but Sheamus ducks to put him out. Johnny Curtis was the 20th guy in there and Sheamus puts him out easily. Kofi puts out the other Uso but Kidd dropkicks Kingston out seconds later.

Tatsu is gone and Kidd skins the cat and pulls out DiBiase at the same time. Horny slips out from the floor and pulls Kidd out. We take a break with about 8 people left. Back with eight people left: O’Neil, Hunico, Gabriel, Mahal, Reks, Sheamus, Slater and Horny. Gabriel tries to jump on the apron but Mahal knocks him to the floor. Clash of the Titus puts Reks down but he barks too much and Sheamus puts him out. Dang it I wanted him to wish for NXT to end.

Slater and Mahal jump Sheamus but he explodes and beats everyone down. Everyone goes to the floor through the ropes and beats Sheamus down. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so now everyone but Sheamus is in. It’s Mahal, Hunico, Slater and Reks. Mahal says we need to go find Horny. They all pick a side of the ring and dive under the ring. Mahal catches him and it’s 4-1. Slater shoves him down as does Hunico.

They all carefully stomp him but before the toss him Sheamus is back in. There goes Reks and Hucio is out as well. Mahal is out and a Brogue Kick puts Slater down. Ok so it’s Horny vs. Sheamus. Oh good grief. Horny says bring it on and Sheamus isn’t sure what to say. He tells Horny to get out but Horny tells him to get out. He kicks Sheamus in the shins but Sheamus grabs him by the beard and starts putting him out but Horny grabs the top rope. Sheamus gets on the apron and detatches him but Horny won’t get off the apron. Sheamus tries to talk to him and they hug, but Horny shoves him off for the win at 13:25.

Rating: C+. This was fun until the end, when it just got stupid. Why in the world would have put Horny over here for the sake of a comedy bit? Well at least this is for an obscure prize instead of something like a title shot so it could be a lot worse. Ok maybe not a lot worse but it could be worse.

Sheamus teases anger but smiles and Horny celebrates.

Ricardo hits on the Bellas at the party as Piper talks to Dusty. They’re talking about Cena and Dusty thinks it’s ridiculous to think the fans are going to get to Cena. Santa comes up and sits down for Horny to ask for his wish. There’s something about celery, Jonas Salk, Peter Falk and chalk. Foley has it wrong and it’s that Horny wants to TALK. They hug and Horny can speak. He goes around using his new powers and calls Vickie a grandma. Foley pops up in a Cactus Jack shirt and Santa is gone. Piper and Dream have no idea what’s going on and I don’t really want the answer.

AJ comes up to wish Bryan luck. Bryan tells Striker he’s ready.

The cage is lowered.

The Slammys are in two weeks.

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Daniel Bryan

We even get big match intros. The winner gets Big Show at TLC. Bryan runs for the corner almost immediately. You can win by pin, submission or escape. Bryan keeps trying to run and avoid corners. He wisely goes for the bad leg so Henry throws him into the cage. He splashes Bryan against the wall and we take a break. Back with Henry still dominating. We get a clip from during the break with Henry pulling Bryan back and in essence sling shotting him into the cage.

Time for a nerve hold to waste some time. Bryan fires off a dropkick but Henry kills him with a clothesline. The leg is wearing out though as he kind of falls into the cover for two. Bryan wakes up and goes crazy on the ankle, getting Henry down on the mat and screaming in pain. Bryan climbs but Henry makes the catch, crotching Bryan on the ropes. Henry goes for the door but Bryan grabs the ankle again. Bryan fires off a dropkick to the knee and hooks the LeBell Lock but Henry powers out of it.

Off to an ankle lock and the place is really getting into this. Henry kicks Bryan off but he can’t get up to follow up on it. The challenger goes up but gets his tights partially pulled down. Now Henry goes up but Bryan follows him. He gets over the top but Henry grabs the arm and pulls him back in. There’s some good drama in this. Henry tries a powerbomb out of the corner but Bryan climbs over the top. Henry pulls him back in again and headbutts him into the World’s Strongest Slam from the top. And that takes care of Bryan at 11:15.

Rating: B. Good main event here and the drama towards the end was solid. I don’t think anyone had any realistic reason to believe that Bryan was going to win and they shouldn’t have. He’s a midcard guy getting his first chance in there with the big boys and he’s not ready for the title yet. Still though, very solid main event and Henry gets a win that he’s been lacking recently.

Overall Rating: A-. WWE is on a ROLL right now with their TV shows. Last night was great and tonight was as well. The idea that seems to work for them is to not linger on stuff too long and most importantly, not go back to things over and over again. This show was fine with all of its holiday themes and I liked it a lot. It could have been better, but if they were hoping to show that Smackdown can work live, they nailed it here. Good stuff again.

Results
Brie Bella won a Mistletoe On A Pole Match
Justin Gabriel b. Jinder Mahal – 450 Splash
Kofi Kingston b. Tyson Kidd – Top Rope Cross Body
Randy Orton b. David Otunga – RKO
Hornswoggle won a battle royal last eliminating Sheamus
Mark Henry b. Daniel Bryan – World’s Strongest Slam from the middle rope

 

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

 

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 25, 2013
Location: Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York,
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Survivor Series and not a lot has changed. The main events all went exactly the same way everyone expected them to, but there was a surprise at the ending. John Cena and Randy Orton, both world champions, stood alone in the ring, seemingly teasing a title unification match at some point down the line. There might be some development on that tonight. Let’s get to it.

We recap the ending to last night’s show.

Here’s Orton to open the show. He brags about doing what he said he’d do and rise about the giant to keep the title last night. Orton asks HHH and Stephanie to come out here for something to say, and the Authority obliges. They seem very pleased with Orton on the way to the ring and Stephanie brags about how awesome he was last night. Orton talks about HHH and Stephanie lied about the interference.

Stephanie says they set everything up and there was no physical interference just like they said. It was all to motivate Orton you see. That’s not cool with Randy though because he was able to beat Big Show on his own. He’s the face of the WWE and the biggest star in all of wrestling.

This brings out John Cena who thinks there’s more than one champion right now. He talks about the fans being tired of being coddled and thinks we need to find out who the better man is. Orton protests a bit but Cena cuts him off, saying that this match is 11 years in the making, but there’s no way to avoid this any longer. If Orton wants to, let’s get rid of one championship and see who really is better.

HHH and Stephanie like the idea quite a bit and say in three weeks at TLC, they’re going to hang both titles above the ring. It’s going to be John Cena vs. Randy Orton in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match. HHH never actually said the titles were on the line but I think that’s implied.

Shield vs. Rey Mysterio/Goldust/Cody Rhodes

Shield jumps the good guys to start and pull Goldust to their corner for an early advantage. Ambrose pounds away but Goldust counters his running dropkick into a catapult to the floor. Goldust uppercuts Dean down and backdrops the now legal Rollins to the floor. Seth springboards into an atomic drop but Reigns comes in with a running clothesline for two as we take a break.

Back with Goldust fighting off Ambrose and making the hot tag to Mysterio. Things immediately speed up as Rey snaps off a headscissors to Rollins, only to have both guys try cross bodies at the same time. Double tags bring in Ambrose and Rhodes with Cody hitting the missile dropkick and an Alabama Slam as everything breaks down. Reigns is sent to the floor but Reigns spears him down. Goldust gets one as well but Cody dropkicks Reigns to the floor. A Disaster Kick sends him to the floor again but Ambrose sneaks in with the bulldog driver to pin Cody at 8:30.

Rating: C+. Very fast paced match here with everyone moving the entire way through. Reigns got his big spears in and the seeds of his face turn continue. Notice that Ambrose got the pin after his finisher, but it was Reigns taking out two of the three opponents. That could come into play later.

You can pick Ziggler vs. Sandow’s stipulations: street fight, lumberjack match or hardcore match.

It’s time for MizTV with special guest NFL legend Michael Strahan. Instead it’s Titus O’Neil in a suit with some of his teeth blacked out ala Strahan’s gap between his teeth. Titus imitates Strahan’s odd way of speaking but Miz wants to know what’s up with the gap. Miz: “That thing is wider than the gap between the Giants and the playoffs.” “Strahan” things that Titus is awesome but here’s the real Strahan to protest.

Strahan doesn’t think the gap humor is very funny but thinks the fans want to have some fun. Tonight there’s going to be a double team main event. It’s going to be Orton/Del Rio vs. John Cena/Big Show. Miz approves of Strahan’s hosting abilities but wants to know if he can hang in the ring. Strahan dosn’t mind the idea of a fight but Titus plays peacekeeper.

Apparently a simple move could put Strahan out of work and wants to know if Michael can handle a hiptoss. Michael blocks the hiptoss pretty easily so Titus takes his jacket off to try his luck. The same thing happens again as the fans are just silent. Miz makes fun of the Giants (Strahan’s old team who are having a terrible season) and gets taken down with ease. There’s a hiptoss for Titus as well to end on a fun moment….I think? The Millions of Dollars dance ensues.

How to download the App to vote for the stipulations.

Big E. Langston/Mark Henry vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Langston starts with Axel but the former Heyman Guys double team Langston down with a spinebuster and splash for two. Ryback gorilla presses him down for two and it’s back to Axel for some stomping. Langston fights up and powers Ryback down, allowing for the double tag off to Henry and Axel. Everything breaks down with the power guys cleaning house. The World’s Strongest Slam ends Axel at 2:32.

We recap the opening segment. JBL flat out says one of them is leaving with both titles. That’s the first official confirmation.

Total Divas vs. Team AJ

Bella Twins/Funkadactyls/Natalya/Eva Marie/JoJo

Aksana/AJ Lee/Rosa Mendes/Summer Rae/Kaitlyn/Tamina Snuka/Alicia Fox

Yes, seriously and it’s elimination again. Brie starts with Aksana and gets a fast pin off something we missed due to the screen going dark. The Bellas double team Rosa for an elimination and it’s off to Cameron to face Tamina. Snuka easily throws her down so it’s off to Naomi for a double suplex on Tamina followed by some hip shaking. A superkick eliminates Naomi very quickly and it’s off to Cameron with a high cross body.

Tamina easily rolls through into a Samoan drop for the elimination but Natalya comes in to take out the monster. She slams Tamina down and tags in JoJo for the “shocking” pin. Alicia comes in and gets rolled up a few times, only to get caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for the elimination. Eva comes in to some insane heel heat before countering a sunset flip out of the corner to Fox for a pin.

Off to Kaitlyn vs. Natalya with the Canadian making Kaitlyn tap out in just a few seconds. It’s AJ/Summer vs. the Bellas/Eva/Natalya and AJ comes in first. Natalya tries a Sharpshooter again but AJ rolls her up for the pin, taking care of that potential challenger. Brie comes in with the Bella Buster and the pin, leaving Summer all alone. Summer realizes she’s outnumbered and starts dancing. Nikki comes in and does the Worm to a pop but Summer completely fails at it. The Bellas won’t let her leave and Nikki grabs a torture rack backbreaker for the pin at 8:24.

Rating: F+. You know my opinion on this already. Just pick a Total Diva to win the title in the big season finale and be done with it already.

Sandow is in the ring to protest having to be in a match selected by the fans. The match is going to be a Hamptons Hardcore Match.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

The Hamptons is a VERY rich neighborhood in New York so there are golf clubs and tennis rackets around the ring. Ziggler wears a New York Islanders jersey to suck up to the crowd even more. Various objects are uses to hit both guys, including a trashcan to send Ziggler to the floor. Dolph sends Sandow over the timekeeper’s table as Cole talks about the Mean Street Posse in the Attitude Era. Ziggler puts Sandow in the trashcan and dropkicks him down as we take a break.

Back with Sandow dropping knees to the chest but getting sent into a food cart of some kind. Damien drapes the Islanders jersey over Ziggler for the Wind-Up Elbow for some cheap but decent heat. They head outside where Ziggler gets in a blast from a fire extinguisher before heading back inside. A shot with a broom sets up the Fameass for two on Damien. Ziggler hits a delayed jumping DDT onto a chair for two but Daniem breaks the broom over Ziggler’s back. You’re Welcome onto the trashcan is enough to pin Ziggler at 11:35.

Rating: C. This was fine all things around and I could see them doing several of these over the next few weeks. It’s a simple idea and something different from what they usually do so I can’t complain about it being repetitive. The matches aren’t terrible either, though Zack Ryder must be crying over these.

Trailer for Miz’s new ABC Family movie.

Santino is in the back with Strahan when Erick Rowan comes up with a sheep mask. Strahan puts it on and they stare at each other for awhile. Santino thinks it has something to do with Thanksgiving and suggests some turkey cooking techniques. Another strange segment in a series tonight.

Renee Young brings out Punk and Bryan for a chat. Punk asks Bryan if they survived last night, earning a quick YES. Do they want to take on the Wyatts again with Bray included? YES! Are we in Long Island? YES! Is it weird that we both have microphones and keep shouting answers while Renee doesn’t ask us any questions? YES! What is a better team name: the Goats, the Best and the Beard or the Best Team in the World? Bryan: “….that’s not a yes or no question.” Bryan says they’re ready and asks Punk what time it is. IT’S CLOBBERIN TIME!!! The Wyatts come out and we take a break.

CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. Wyatt Family

Three on two here. Punk and Rowan get things going with CM firing off kicks to the leg. Bryan comes in and kicks at the ribs like only he can but Rowan comes back with an elbow to the jaw. Off to Harper vs. Punk with CM taking Harper into the corner for some shoulders. Back to Bryan as they work on the other monster’s leg a bit this time. Harper comes back with a hard shot to the face and now it’s time for Bray himself.

Bray blasts Daniel in the jaw and drops him with a headbutt before bringing Rowan back in. Erick misses a big boot in the corner and the hot tag brings Punk in for some kicks and knees to the face. Rowan is knocked to the floor and Punk hits the suicide dive to send him into the barricade. Back in and the Macho Elbow gets two for Punk but Erick counters the GTS by LAUNCHING Punk out to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Punk fighting out of a Rowan chinlock. Harper comes in before the comeback though and puts on the Gator Roll into a headlock. Rowan comes in again for some choking but Punk kicks him in the head to put both guys down. A double tag brings in Bryan and Harper with Daniel dropkicking Bray out to the floor.

The FLYING GOAT takes Bray down again as Bryan speeds things way up. Back in and Harper catches Harper in a hurricanrana but Rowan breaks up the pin. Running dropkicks in the corner have the monsters in trouble but Harper hits the Michinoku Driver. Bray comes in for the big brawl and the match is thrown out at about 13:00.

Rating: C. Still good for the most part but nowhere near what last night’s match was. Rowan needs the ring time more than anything else right now so having two tag matches like this is a good thing for him. Bray being in the match helped too but it’s good that he was in small doses here. Fun match to continue the story.

Post match the heroes are laid out and Bryan gets taken away by the Wyatts. Punk goes after them but Shield takes Punk out in a surprise attack. The TripleBomb leaves Punk laying.

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi starts fast with some hiptosses to frustrate Miz and things already slow down. Miz bails to the floor but Kofi stops himself from diving after him. Back in and we hit the front facelock on Miz but he counters into a headlock. Kofi fights out with ease and kicks Miz down to set up the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise is blocked as well. The Figure Four doesn’t work and the SOS gets two. Kofi hits a cross body for two but Miz quickly rolls him up for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: C-. This was fast paced for the most part but it wasn’t anything close to what they did last night. I’m still not sure what the idea is behind doing the same thing on back to back nights, especially when last night’s match was available for free. Kofi continues to be Kofi and no one cares about the Miz, so everything is the same.

Mick Foley, Dude Love and Mankind sell us stuff.

Some contest winner is here and already has shirts made for his gimmick: the Kosher Butcher. Ok then.

R-Truth is in the ring in street clothes to introduce Xavier Woods, who is being accompanied by the Funkadactyls tonight due a deal with Brodus Clay.

Xavier Woods vs. Heath Slater

Woods starts fast and flips Slater down to the mat before chopping in the corner. Slater avoids a charge in the corner and puts on a chinlock to kill more time. Woods fights up and hits the rolling clothesline followed by Lost in the Woods for the pin at 3:17.

Rating: D. They did what they were hoping to do here but it didn’t really change anything at all. Woods is going to be fine in the midcard for awhile but I can’t picture him going much further than that. Then again, that’s not a bad career to have. R-Truth isn’t going to do him much more good though.

The Total Divas hit on Strahan as he signs autographs for them. Eva hits on him but Goldust pops up behind Strahan for his bite thing.

Steve Austin is voted as Rock’s greatest Wrestlemania rival.

Cena and Strahan are cool with each other.

John Cena/Big Show vs. Randy Orton/Alberto Del Rio

Big Show and Del Rio get us going with the giant hitting some of those loud chops of his. Del Rio is thrown to the corner and it’s Orton’s chance at Big Show. More chops put Orton down and an elbow drop crushes him as we take a break. Back with Cena missing a charge into the corner, allowing Del Rio to hit the corner enziguri for two. Orton comes in for a chinlock followed by a Del Rio DDT for two.

Cena gets in a shoulder block and brings in Big Show off the hot tag and house is cleaned. Del Rio comes back with the low superkick to put Big Show down and his eyes look dazed. Big Show falls down off the ropes and Del Rio rakes at his eyes to show how evil he is. Back to Orton who does very little before bringing Del Rio back in for a kick to the head.

Remember that Big Show was punted last night. The giant tries to tag Orton and the doctor comes in to check on him. Big Show says he’s ok so Orton takes him down with a DDT. Another punt is countered by a spear and there’s the hot tag to Cena. House is cleaned, armbreaker is countered, Del Rio is tapping at 15:33.

Rating: D+. This was all about Big Show, which is dumb given the match that’s coming. We needed a big showdown here between Cena and Orton and we got a chinlock instead. The match was nothing to see of note but Big Show’s injury could be interesting going forward. I can’t imagine sitting through Big Show vs. Del Rio though. That just sounds dreadful.

Post match Cena beats up Del Rio a bit more but Orton lays him out with the title. Orton poses with both belts to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is one of those shows where what was good was good but what was bad was bad. They felt like they were really rushing through this show though, packing in as much stuff as they could into three hours. I’m not a fan of having another PPV in three weeks but I have a hard time the title is going to be unified at TLC three weeks after the story is set up. That’s fast even for WWE standards. The Strahan stuff could have been MUCH worse but it wasn’t anything of note at all. If you cut out the boring stuff on this, it’s a good show but as it is, it’s just passable.

Results

Shield b. Rey Mysterio/Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Bulldog driver to Rhodes

Mark Henry/Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel/Ryback – World’s Strongest Slam to Axel

Total Divas b. Team AJ – Torture Rack backbreaker to Summer Rae

Damien Sandow b. Dolph Ziggler – You’re Welcome onto a trashcan

CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. Wyatt Family went to a double disqualification when everyone brawled in the ring

Xavier Woods b. Heath Slater – Lost in the Woods

John Cena/Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio/Randy Orton – STF to Del Rio

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Survivor Series 2013
Date: November 24, 2013
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is one of those shows that hasn’t had the best build but doesn’t look that bad when you look at it. The main events are Cena defending against Del Rio in a match few people are interested in and Big Show challenging Orton in a match even fewer were asking for. Other than that there’s a big tag team Survivor Series match and Punk/Bryan vs. the Wyatts. In other words, it should be a decent show but the interest just isn’t there. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

Miz turned on Kofi in a tag match on Raw to set this up. He offers a handshake to start but Kofi is too smart for that. We get a surprisingly fast start with Kofi trying to get a grip on Miz but settling for a rollup for two. They trade about three rollups each for three in a very nice chain wrestling sequence until we reach a stalemate. Miz goes for the Figure Four but has to duck Trouble in Paradise. Kofi sends him to the floor for a nice dive and we take a break. Back with Kofi holding a chinlock before getting two off a cross body.

Kingston pounds away in the corner but Miz sneaks underneath him and scores with a big boot to the face. Kofi fights out and hits a double stomp to the chest followed by some nice dropkicks. The Boom Drop looks to set up Trouble In Paradise but Miz ducks, only to get caught in the SOS for two. Another Figure Four attempt is countered into a small package for two and Kofi’s high cross body gets the same. Two low knees to the face/chest put Miz down but he ducks the third and grabs a rollup for the pin at 8:40.

Rating: B-. This was one of the better opening matches they’ve had in a long time. The reversal sequences were very fast paced and other than a few moments here and there the action barely stopped. Kofi losing here doesn’t hurt him at all and Miz gets a win to help boost his heel turn. Everybody wins. Well except Kofi but you get the idea.

The opening video talks about how survival is a must before transitioning to your usual hype video for the world title matches. Nothing special.

Rey Mysterio/Usos/Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Real Americans/Shield

Elimination rules of course. Ricardo Rodriguez is on Spanish commentary. Colter does his usual routine before the match before attempting to twerk because what would a wrestling show be without that? Cody and Ambrose get things going as this is the Shield’s debut anniversary. They trade waistlocks to start but Cody takes over with some right hands, only to have Ambrose pound away in the corner. Rhodes comes back with even more punches as Cole tells us that Friday is Lawler, Colter and JBL’s birthday. Ambrose pounds away in the corner but gets in an argument with the referee, allowing Cody to get a quick rollup for the elimination.

Everything breaks down with the Usos cleaning house and hitting dives to take out all of their opponents. We settle down with Goldust vs. Rollins but it’s quickly off to Swagger to drive Goldust into the corner. Jack takes him down and Cesaro comes in with a knee drop for two. Cole messes up his history by saying Andre the Giant was the sole survivor of the first Survivor Series match (that would be the main event or the fourth Survivor Series match ever).

Goldust gets a backslide for two on Cesaro and scores with a powerslam. A jawbreaker puts both guys down but Cesaro is able to tag first. Swagger comes in but misses the Vader Bomb, allowing for the hot tag off to Mysterio. He easily takes Swagger down to set up the 619 and it’s a superkick from Jimmy followed by the Superfly Splash from Jey to eliminate Swagger.

Cesaro immediately comes in with an uppercut to Jey to set up the Cesaro Swing. The fans count along with the swings but it’s only 15 revolutions. Jimmy comes in without a tag and gets a swing of his own 19 revolution swing. Cody gets the tag and scores with a sunset flip out of nowhere for the elimination, leaving us with Rollins/Reigns vs. all five members of the other team.

Reigns comes in to work on Cody’s arm but it’s off to Jey instead. Roman easily tags him into the Shield corner and the two remaining members take over with the alternating tags. Rollins comes in with a top rope fist to Jey’s jaw and we hit the chinlock. Jey fights up and backdrops Rollins over the top rope, allowing for the tag off to Jimmy. A Samoan Drop gets two on Reigns and the running Umaga attack in the corner keeps him in trouble. Jimmy goes up top but has to headbutt Reigns down. He jumps down but the spear is enough for a quick elimination.

Cody comes in with a missile dropkick followed by the moonsault press for two on Rollins. Cross Rhodes connects but Reigns made a blind tag, allowing him to spear Cody in half for the elimination, leaving us at 3-2. Jey comes in and takes Reigns to the floor, sending him into the barricade and post. Back in and Rollins makes a quick tag to set up the Black Out (running one foot curb stomp) to eliminate Jey, leaving us with Reigns/Rollins vs. Goldust/Mysterio.

It’s Rey vs. Rollins with Mysterio getting in a quick dropkick, only to go up top and get caught in the Tree of Woe. Back to Reigns who sends Mysterio out to the floor but Rey makes it back in at 9. Reigns’ spear goes into the post by mistake but Rollins knocks Goldust to the floor to prevent the hot tag. Rey grabs a rollup out of nowhere to get rid of Rollins and make it 2-1.

Rollins stomps on Mysterio a bit before leaving, giving Roman a big advantage. Rey slides through Reigns’ legs and catches him with an enziguri before sending him into the corner with a drop toehold. There’s the hot tag to Goldust who gets two off a spinebuster. He pounds down right hands to Roman in the corner before a powerslam gets two. Reigns comes right back by countering the bulldog into a spear and it’s one on one. Rey tries the 619 but gets speared in half as well, giving Reigns his star making performance with his fourth elimination for the pin at 23:30.

Rating: B-. Total star making performance by Reigns here as he was completely unstoppable out there. Save for a meaningless fall over an Uso, Reigns literally got every elimination for his team. From the beginning I’ve said Reigns was the star of the team and if this isn’t proof of that, I’m not sure what is.

Orton interrupts an Authority meeting and wants to make sure they’re all on the same page to start. The Authority talks down to him before telling him to go prove his worth on his own.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Big E. Langston

This is the rematch from when Axel lost the title on Monday. Axel grabs a headlock to start but Langston easily powers out. They trade leapfrogs until Langston runs him over with ease. Axel sends him to the apron and forearms Langston down to the floor for his first advantage.

The fans chant You Can’t Wrestle, presumably at Axel, showing that Boston fans aren’t that bright. Axel hits a Hennig neck snap and puts on a chinlock only to have Langston power out and suplex Axel down. There’s the Warrior Splash but Axel kicks the knee and gets two off a PerfectPlex. Not that it matters as Big E. grabs Curtis for the Big Ending to retain at 6:00.

Rating: D+. Well at least it was short. This was one of the least important title matches I can think of in a long time as I don’t even think Axel believed he was taking the title here. Nothing to see here and basically it was an extended squash for Langston. That’s all it should have been too.

Post match Langston cuts a promo that would make Mick Foley proud, mentioning Boston three times in about 20 seconds.

AJ gives a semi-maniacal speech to her teammates which they take as her saying she’s better than them. AJ says yeah she’s better because they’re just here because they’re not good enough to be on Total Divas. The promo basically buries the entire division by pointing out how worthless all of them are. Rebellion is imminent even though AJ gets a great line: “Get your own show by stealing this one.”

Team AJ vs. Total Divas

AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka/Summer Rae/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Kaitlyn/Aksana

Bella Twins/Funkadactyls/JoJo/Eva Marie/Natalya

The Total Divas come out in a big line to the show’s theme song because they’re SO close on that show. Naomi starts with Alicia and rolls her up for a pin in just over a minute. Rosa avoids a Rear View but gets caught in a double suplex by the Funkadactyls. Mendes comes back with a quick kick to the face to eliminate Cameron, only to be taken out by a Bella Buster from Naomi.

It’s 6-5 now and here’s Summer to dance a bit. Nikki does the Worm and we’re in a dance off. Another Bella Buster gets rid of Summer and it’s time for Eva Marie who is booed out of the building. Kaitlyn only needs the gutbuster to get rid of Eva and it’s off to Naomi again. Another gutbuster takes Naomi out as we aren’t even five minutes into the match. Brie avoids a spear from Kaitlyn and takes her out with a missile dropkick.

Aksana comes in and pins Brie (huh?) after an AJ cheap shot and a spinebuster. Nikki comes in and puts Aksana in a Torture Rack backbreaker for a pin. I’m not skipping anything between these falls by the way. Tamina headbutts Nikki down a few times but the Bella comes back with an enziguri. Natalya was taken down by something the camera missed so it’s off to JoJo vs. Tamina.

Snuka toys with her but gets rolled up for two, only to kick JoJo in the face. There’s a Samoan drop for no cover because AJ wants and gets the pin. Natalya is driven into the corner by Tamina but the monster misses a charge and gets caught in the Sharpshooter. AJ tries a save but can’t get there in time and Tamina taps. Natalya reverses a quick AJ rollup into the Sharpshooter for the submission, leaving her and Nikki as the survivors at 11:30.

Rating: D-. Other than their looks, nothing was good about this. The whole thing was a way to show us that Total Divas are AWESOME while making it clear that most of them are models who look good in little outfits but have no business EVER being in a ring. AJ continues to be exactly right about everything she says but WWE has decided that the reality chicks are the heroes, no matter what.

Orton tries to get Charles Robinson on his side to no avail.

Expert panel looks to talk a bit but Ryback cuts them off. He says he’s the talent here and issues an open challenge to anyone on the roster. Here’s his answer.

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

Henry is shaved bald now and shoves Ryback around with ease. Ryback is thrown around again but gets taken down by a shot to the knee. Henry shoves Ryback to the floor for a six count but Ryback comes back in with a headbutt. Some JYD all fours headbutts get two for Henry but Ryback takes the knee out again. We hit the chinlock on Mark before he fights up with relative ease. The World’s Strongest Slam is countered and Ryback spinebusters him down. The Meathook is countered with something resembling a cross body and the World’s Strongest Slam gets the pin at 4:47.

Rating: D. This was as stereotypical of a power match as you could have ever asked for. Henry didn’t look good here and was way too aloof out there rather than being the mosnter that got him over for good. Ryback is desperately in need of a change after all these losses he’s suffered in the last year.

Now the panel talks a bit.

We recap Cena vs. Del Rio. Nothing special to say here: Cena won the title last month and this is the rematch. Cena opts for no arm brace.

World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Cena grabs a waistlock which gets him nowhere so Del Rio puts on a headlock to take him down to the mat. Del Rio fights free and gets two off a snap suplex before going to an armbar. They head outside for a bit with Cena going shoulder first into the steps. Back in and a top rope forearm to Cena’s shoulder gets two and we hit the armbar again. This is a really slow pace so far with Del Rio talking a lot of trash and not following up on most of his offense.

Cena starts a comeback but misses a shoulder block to keep things right where they have been all match. They head outside again with Cena being sent into the steps again, allowing Del Rio to do You Can’t See Me. Back inside and we hit the armbar again as we’re somehow approaching ten minutes into this match. Cena tries a comeback with his finishing sequence but gets caught in the Backstabber for two.

Del Rio goes up top again but gets dropkicked out of the air to put both guys down again. Cena’s finishing sequence is broken up again by a thumb to the eye and Alberto gets two off a DDT. Alberto is sent to the floor and has to dive in to beat the count. Cena does the finishing sequence at triple speed but the AA is countered into a German suplex for two but the corner enziguri misses.

The STF is countered so Cena grabs a tornado DDT for another near fall. Del Rio takes him down again and stands around a lot before putting John in the Tree of Woe. That goes nowhere as Cena avoids a charge to send Del Rio into the post. The top rope Fameasser gets two but the STF is broken by a rope. Del Rio’s low superkick gets two and a neckbreaker from Cena gets the same. Del Rio grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere but Cena counters into a powerbomb to escape. Another armbreaker is countered and the AA retains Cena’s title at 18:45.

Rating: D+. The lack of drama crippled this one for me. There was zero doubt for me as to who was going to win and the only question was whether it would be the AA or the STF. Del Rio just isn’t a threat to Cena at all and he never has been. Why WWE insists on going with that match time after time is beyond me. Put Alberto against Langston for awhile to give Big E. a rub or whatever, but keep him away from Cena.

Santino and R-Truth play with toys. Los Matadores, Fandango and JOHNNY ACE come in for some unfunny comedy. Ok Ace was funny at least.

We recap the Wyatts vs. Punk/Bryan. Not much to this one either. The good guys are heroes and that’s not cool with Bray. He’s sent his monsters to show the world that there are no heroes.

Wyatt Family vs. CM Punk/Daniel Bryan

Before the match Bray talks about Sister Abigail telling him how tough Bryan and Punk would be. They’re the reapers though, so Punk and Bryan should run. Bryan and Rowan get things going with Daniel (actually with a shorter beard here) firing off kicks to the leg. Rowan easily throws him down but Daniel takes him into the corner for a tag off to Punk which doesn’t get a huge reaction.

Harper comes in and charges into a boot in the corner, only to rip away at Punk’s face and chop him down. Back to Rowan for a bearhug but Punk fights out very quickly. Punk escapes a suplex and Bryan comes in to try a double suplex, only to have Rowan suplex both guys down. Bryan drives Rowan into the corner for some double kicks to the ribs to put Erick down. The crowd doesn’t seem interested in this match.

Back to Harper who is taken into the hero corner as well before a double dropkick puts both guys down. Bryan fires off the kicks and plays Bret to Punk’s Neidhart in a Hart Attack. Rowan tries to come in and the distraction lets Harper kick Punk’s head off for two. Rowan cranks on Punk’s neck for a bit before getting two off a backbreaker. Back to Harper for an uppercut followed by a quickly released Gator Roll. Rowan gets taught talking to the sheep mask which Cole finds strange for some reason.

Harper gets two off a Michinoku Driver before it’s back to Erick for some more neck cranking. Punk gets a boot up in the corner to stagger Rowan and a running DDT puts both guys down. A double tag brings in Bryan to face Harper and Daniel starts up his usual sequence. Luke gets low bridged to the floor and the FLYING GOAT takes Harper out, possibly injuring the monster’s knee.

A missile dropkick gets two and there are the YES Kicks. The running dropkick in the corner staggers the big man but Harper counters a top rope hurricanrana into a super sitout powerbomb for two. AWESOME spot there. The fans think this is awesome as Bray yells at the Family. Rowan splashes Bryan for two and the second heat segment begins. Harper comes in with some forearms to the back but Punk kicks him in the back of the head to give Bryan a breather.

There’s the hot tag off to Punk who takes Harper down but he dives on Rowan and Bray instead of Luke. Now the Macho Elbow connects on Harper for two and everything breaks down. The running knee takes Rowan down and Punk counters the discus lariat into the GTS for the pin on Harper at 16:55.

Rating: B. This was the old school tag team formula and it worked perfectly well. Punk and Bryan are good choices for matches like this and there’s nothing wrong with the Wyatts getting pinned. The money in the feud is Bray in the ring with either of them and that’s certainly coming in the future. Good stuff here.

Bray teases getting in but stays on the floor.

Cena is talking to the Authority about something when Orton comes in to glare at them. The Viper sounds jealous.

We recap Big Show vs. Randy Orton. Orton is supposed to be the face of the WWE but the Authority isn’t very confident in him. Big Show has weaseled his way into a title match tonight due to the threat of a lawsuit which could take over the entire company because that’s what heroes do. They’ve been brawling for a few weeks and Big Show looks dominant while Orton has no backup tonight. Of course he doesn’t.

WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. Big Show

Orton is defending and is on the floor about a second after the bell rings. He trips getting back inside to show how confused he is tonight and gets chopped LOUDLY by Big Show. More slow offense sets up more chops by Big Show but Orton comes back with a dropkick and some kicks to the head. A knee drop gets two for the champion and we hit a sleeper. Big Show loudly says “two clotheslines” before hitting two clotheslines and calling for the chokeslam, sending Orton running to the floor.

Back in and Big Show slams him down before going to the top rope, only to be crotched on the top rope. The Elevated DDT out of the corner puts Big Show down and Orton poses a lot. Show grabs a chokeslam out of nowhere for two and loads up the KO punch but Orton bails to the floor. The big man follows him to the floor and throws Orton at the ropes, taking out the referee in the process. Randy finds a chair but gets it slapped out of his hands before they go into the crowd.

That goes nowhere so they head back to ringside where Orton tries the Elevated DDT again, only to have Show escape and hit the KO punch. Back inside and the Authority comes out for a distraction, allowing Orton to hit a quick RKO. The annoying crowd chants for Daniel Bryan as Orton hits the Punt to retain at 11:10.

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? Unfortunately, it was exactly what most people were expecting. Big Show was trying but there’s only so much you can do when Orton spends a third of an eleven minute match running, not counting the interference at the end. Horrid main event but I guess it sets up HHH vs. Big Show. Uh….yay.

Post match here’s Cena to hold up the World Heavyweight Championship while Orton holds up the WWE Championship. That’s Wrestlemania it would seem.

Overall Rating: D+. This show had its moments but they totally lost me around the time of the Henry match. The card was about the same as it felt like it was going to be with a few good matches but little to care about in the main event scenes. Orton vs. Big Show was as nothing of a match as it could have been and the interference was just predictable. This show just didn’t feel necessary though it wasn’t the worst effort ever.

Results

Shield/Real Americans b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio/Usos – Spear to Mysterio

Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel – Big Ending.

Total Divas b. Team AJ – Sharpshooter to AJ

Mark Henry b. Ryback – World’s Strongest Slam

John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio – Attitude Adjustment

Daniel Bryan/CM Punk b. Wyatt Family – GTS to Harper

Randy Orton b. Big Show – Punt Kick

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

It’s the fourth biggest show of the year and there’s actually a card for it now!As usual we’ll start on the pre-show.  I see absolutely no reason for Miz to lose here.  He’s coming off a heel turn and he’s against the jobber to end all jobbers in Kofi, so we’ll take what should e obvious here and say Miz wins.

 

Continuing the trend of easy picks, Big Show loses to Orton.  It’s obvious they’re setting up HHH vs. Big Show at TLC because if there’s one thing this company needs, it’s more Big Show.  Orton will be in trouble but come back somehow and cheat to win.  I could see a scenario where Big Show wins and HHH goes to take the title from him but I don’t think they’ll go there.

 

Cena over Del Rio of course, which will likely set up a third match between them at TLC.  Why WWE thinks anyone wants to see that is beyond me, but they make some very strange decisions in the main event scene at times.

 

Langston retains the title in the rematch.  I don’t think this really needs an explanation.

 

I’m going to go with what seems like the logical move and say Punk and Bryan beat the Wyatts.  The money to this feud is in Bray vs. the stars and it wouldn’t make sense having the Family get the win.  That being said, I wouldn’t be complaining if they did because those two could easily be a nice fixture in the tag division.  Punk and Bryan win but it’s a struggle.

 

Total Divas win because WWE thinks that’s what the people want to see.  Then again I’ve said that for months now and haven’t been right yet.

 

That leaves us with the traditional Survivor Series match which is a hard one to pick.  I’m going to go with the good guys here in a tossup.  The problem here is Roman Reigns, who just does not lose in WWE.  Unless he gets DQ’d or counted out, I can’t imagine him being eliminated.  On the other hand, I just can’t see the Real Americans and Shield winning overall.  I’ll take the tag champions, Usos and Rey but I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m wrong.

 

Overall the show looks better than it did a week ago but it doesn’t come off as important.  Usually, and as is the case here, a show is only as good as its top match.  Big Show vs. Orton is one of the weakest main events I can remember in a long time and that’s a bad sign for the rest of the show.  Survivor Series can work as a major show but WWE seems inept at making it one.  The show should be decent but it’s not going to wow anyone.

Smackdown
Date: November 22, 2013
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before Survivor Series and we’ve more than doubled the announced matches since Monday. The main story coming out of Raw is the return of Rey Mysterio ahead of schedule from his knee injury. He’ll be the fifth main in one of the Survivor Series elimination matches on Sunday even though the word on the street is he’s not ready yet. It’s hard to say if we’ll see him tonight or not. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence. We haven’t had that in awhile.

Mysterio is in a six man tag tonight with the Usos against Shield. Makes sense to give him a lighter load like that.

Tag Titles: Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Real Americans

Cesaro and Swagger are challenging. This is due to the Americans winning a match over the champions last month because it takes WWE awhile to get around to such things. Goldust and Swagger get things going with Swagger sending him in the corner but getting caught by a dropkick. Off to Cody for a missile dropkick and the release front suplex for two on the now legal Cesaro. Back to Goldie as the champions start working on the arm.

The champions make some fast tags to stay on Cesaro’s arm before a running knee the chest gets two for Cody. A pair of rollups get the same but Cesaro backdrops him to the apron where a Swagger distraction lets Antonio kick Cody to the floor. We take a break and come back with Cesaro holding a standing chinlock. A clothesline puts Cody down and it’s of to Swagger for a belly to belly suplex for two. The running Vader Bomb sets up Cesaro’s double stomp for two before Cesaro catapults Rhodes into a Swagger suplex/powerslam for two more.

Cesaro hooks another chinlock but Cody backdrops an invading Swagger to the floor. Rhodes is about to make a hot tag but Jack pulls Goldust down to the floor in a smart move. Swiss Death gets two on Cody and the challengers are getting frustrated. Cody tries his sunset flip out of the corner but Cesaro powers him back up onto the ropes in a very unique counter. Rhodes kicks him away and hits the moonsault press to put both guys down. Nice sequence there.

Double tag brings in Goldust and Swagger with the champion taking over via his signature stuff. He rains down punches in the corner and gets two off a powerslam as Cesaro makes the save. Both Americans are on the floor so Goldust backdrops Cody down on top of them. Goldust goes up top but gets slammed down on his face, setting up the Patriot Lock. Swagger drags him away from the ropes but Cody breaks it up with the Disaster Kick. Cesaro comes back in with the Cesaro Swing to Cody for a ridiculous 27 seconds. Goldust clotheslines Antonio to the floor and hits the Final Cut on Jack to retain at 9:44 shown of 13:14.

Rating: B. That might be a bit high but I was digging this match. The ending had me thinking the titles could change when Swagger pulled him away from the ropes and the kick was timed perfectly. Cody and Goldust are on fire right now and having great matches with anyone they work with. Really good opener here.

Ryback is in the ring to issue an open challenge. He says being a bully isn’t a bad thing and he enjoys being one very much. Ryback issues the challenge again and some music hits before he can even finish.

Ryback vs. Great Khali

Khali wins a quick chop off before taking Ryback into the corner for some chops to the back. A clothesline puts Ryback on the floor but he comes back in to stomp Khali down in the corner. Ryback runs into an elbow in the corner followed by some clotheslines and the big chop for two. The Meathook puts Khali down and the Shell Shock is good for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: D+. Not a terrible power match here as Ryback is getting more and more impressive with that Shell Shock every time. That being said, it’s not going to matter if he keeps alternating wins and losses. Also it’s not like beating Khali means much. Heath Slater pinned him nearly clean a few months back which should tell you everything you need to know about him anymore.

Vickie comes up to AJ in the back and blames Brad Maddox for everything on Raw. She reiterates everything AJ should know about Survivor Series and puts AJ in a handicap match against the Funkadactyls. AJ claims an ankle injury but Vickie makes the match anyway. It’s best for business you see. Apparently so is mocking someone who works harder than anyone in the division and collapsed at a show in a match where she’s supposed to be the heel despite being cheered over the soulless Bellas who come off as the most stuck up evil women imaginable every time they’re on their reality show which most wrestling fans don’t watch.

We get a clip from the History of the WWE DVD with Bruno Sammartino talking about the peak of his career, including comments from Ivan Koloff and Ken Patera (looking nothing like he did as a wrestler).

Video of John Cena at Oxford University. This didn’t air on the American version of the show for some reason.

Funkadactyls vs. AJ Lee

The Funky ones don’t have to tag so they dropkick AJ out to the floor. AJ tries to leave but the Funkadactyls knock Tamina down and drag AJ back to the ring. Tamina takes Cameron down and AJ gets a near fall off a neckbreaker to Naomi. The announcers ignore the match because JBL accidentally said “Funkerdactyls”, which apparently is the funniest thing ever. Naomi hits an enziguri and the Rear View gets the pin at 2:25.

Bray Wyatt talks about seeing memories that aren’t his own. The world needs more revolutionaries and more revolutions, but no one can understand that because Punk and Bryan make eyes light up whenever they enter a room. Punk and Bryan are just men who breathe and bleed like anyone does but the people revere them like they’re some kind of saviors. Bray’s father told him as a child that the meek shall inherit the earth, but they are the reapers who walk. Follow the buzzards. Creepy and bizarre as always but it made sense.

Shield vs. Usos/Rey Mysterio

Dean and Jimmy start us off with Uso winning a slugout in the corner and dragging Ambrose over for a tag of to Jey. JBL talks about the great debuts in Atlanta and lists off the NWO as starting here. He’s usually better at history than that. Shield starts their fast tags with Rollins and Ambrose taking their shots until Jimmy tags in Jey so the twins can clear the ring. The stereo dives take Rollins and Ambrose out in the usual cool visual.

Back inside and Jey misses a high cross body to give Rollins two and we take a break. Back with Rollins hitting a knee to the head to knock Jey into the Shield corner. Ambrose hooks an arm trap choke before Reigns comes in with a suplex for two. Rollins whips Jey into the corner and talks some trash, only to miss a charge into the corner. Reigns breaks up a hot tag attempt and lays Jey out with a spinout belly to back suplex for two.

Roman misses a charge into the post and the hot tag brings in Mysterio to clean house. Everything breaks down and Reigns spears both Usos down but Rey hurricanranas him out to the floor. Ambrose comes in with a clothesline as Rollins dives over the top rope to take out the Usos. Rey sends Ambrose into the ropes for the 619 and the top rope splash for the pin at 8:47 shown of 12:17.

Rating: C. Just a welcome home match for Rey who looked decent but not much more than that. Shield still looked good out there and there’s no shame in losing to a Hall of Famer like Mysterio. As usual though, Reigns looks like a star out there with the spears to both Usos and some nice power displays throughout the match. He’s going to be huge.

Here’s Big Show (who has changed his clothes since he was seen standing in the hallway) to say he came back to torture the Authority. The best way he can do that is rearranging the face of the WWE and become the new WWE Champion. He’ll lay it all on the line at Survivor Series but here’s Orton to interrupt before Show can elaborate. Orton promises to hurt Big Show on Sunday and end his career, but Big Show wants him to come say that in the ring.

We get a clip from Raw of the Authority telling Orton that he has to win on his own to gain their confidence. Big Show talks about how Orton has all the talent in the world and should have been a locker room leader years ago. Instead it’s always been about what’s best for Randy Orton. On Sunday, Orton is all alone and Big Show will prove how much of a spoiled brat Orton is. Randy says he can beat him, so Big Show pulls up a video of him chokeslamming Orton through the announce table. The segment was well done, but I still don’t care to see the match at all.

R-Truth turns into Pretty Ricky to shill merchandise. To say this is a bad stereotype is an understatement.

Big E. Langston/Dolph Ziggler vs. Curtis Axel/Damien Sandow

Axel gets his rematch on Sunday. Ziggler dropkicks Sandow down to start but gets taken into the corner so the heels can double team. Axel goes after Langston because he’s not that bright, allowing Dolph to hit a jumping DDT to put Curtis down. The hot tag brings in Langston to clean house but Axel breaks up the Big Ending on Sandow. Ziggler lays out Axel with a Fameasser and the Big Ending finishes Sandow at 2:38.

Post match Langston chases Axel off again.

Video on the Wrestlemania ticket launch party.

Various celebrities are here.

Del Rio is in the back and we get a video recapping his feud with Cena. This includes clips of Cena getting the better of Alberto on Raw, but Del Rio says he wasn’t ready. He’ll be ready on Sunday though and will bring the World Title home.

WWE fans think Natalya has the most devastating submission hold over Punk, Bryan and Del Rio. That sounds very odd.

There was a Prime Time Players vs. 3MB match taped and scheduled to air here but there’s no reference to it at all.

Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper

Harper drives him into the corner to start but Bryan scores with a few kicks to send the big man outside. We take a break and come back with Bryan being whipped into the barricade. Harper sends him into the steps as well before slowly taking it back inside. Bray shouts at him to stay on Bryan but Daniel takes him down with some kicks and a dragon screw leg whip. Bryan tries to keep up the momentum but charges into a Michinoku Driver of all things for two.

Daniel moonsaults over him in the corner and hits the running clothesline to put Harper down. The kicks have Harper in trouble but he counters the big kick into a sitout powerbomb for two. The Gator Roll keeps Bryan down and Harper has some scary eyes on display. Bryan scores with a kick to the face to send Harper to the floor for the FLYING GOAT. Bray distracts Bryan, allowing Harper to get in a cheap shot from behind. This brings out Punk, but his distraction lets Daniel roll up Harper for the pin at 7:02 shown of 10:32.

Rating: C+. They’ve got something special with Harper. The guy can hang with anyone in the ring and he’s got a quick finisher that looks awesome. Rubbing elbows with Bryan and Punk is going to do nothing but help him which is the exact idea behind the story. Solid power vs. speed match here and a good sign going forward.

Post match the Wyatts lay out Punk and Bryan to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a tough one to grade as they did a good job building up the PPV but there’s very little on the PPV that sounds interesting. The title scene has nothing at all going for it as Del Rio has no chance to win and Big Show vs. Orton is clearly just a means to get to Big Show vs. HHH. The midcard stuff could be interesting and the show could be pleasant surprise but I’m not going into it with very high hopes.

Results

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Real Americans – Final Cut to Swagger

Ryback b. Great Khali – Shell Shock

Funkadactyls b. AJ Lee – Rear View

Rey Mysterio/Usos b. Shield – Top rope splash to Ambrose

Big E. Langston/Dolph Ziggler b. Curtis Axel/Damien Sandow – Big Ending to Sandow

Daniel Bryan b. Luke Harper – Small package

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 18, 2013
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

Tonight Raw goes country because WWE hates me. The only things we’ve been told about for tonight is the band Florida Georgia Line performing and likely being confronted by 3MB. Other than that we might get a confrontation between Oakland A’s pitcher Jason Reddick and Daniel Bryan because they’ve been having a Twitter feud. This is what life is like on the go home show for Survivor Series in 2013. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps last week’s struggle to fill in the power vacuum left due to the Authority being on vacation.

Langston vs. Axel for the Intercontinental Title tonight.

Here’s the Authority to open the show. HHH talks about how things went nuts in the absence of true authority and no one likes chaos. Those who caused things to fall apart last week, such as Brad Maddox and Vickie Guerrero, will be dealt with tonight. This brings out a ticked off Randy Orton who says that the Authority is to blame for a lot of the troubles around here.

They’re the ones that gave Big Show a title match he didn’t deserve and thinks he can’t beat Big Show on his own this Sunday on his own. HHH gets in his face but Stephanie plays peacekeeper. Brad and Vickie interrupt with Vickie saying excuse me in a very timid voice. Brad apologizes but insists it was all Vickie’s fault because that’s the kind of guy he is. Stephanie doesn’t want to hear this and makes individual matches for the GM’s. Vickie gets AJ and Brad gets Randy Orton. The latter of those two is right now. HHH makes it No DQ because he can. Maddox tries to leave but Kane stops him.

Randy Orton vs. Brad Maddox

No DQ. Brad bails to the floor then does it again when Orton goes for him. Maddox gets on a mic and says Orton doesn’t want to do this but gets caught running away again. Orton tries to get him into the ring but Brad hits him with the microphone before sending him into the post. A DDT gets two in the ring and Orton is MAD. He throws Brad over the top rope and then over the announce table. Maddox is sent into the steps and loses his shirt before Orton posts him. The Elevated DDT on the floor knocks Maddox out cold. Back in and Orton hits him about 25 times in the head with the microphone until the referee stops it 3:50.

Rating: N/A. This was a glorified segment rather than a match so I’m not going to bother rating it. They’re going to turn Maddox face at this rate which isn’t a bad idea for the most part. They need someone with authority to stand up to the Authority, even though the Authority would likely just strip him of his job. The fans seem to be into Maddox too, which likely isn’t a good sign for him.

Maddox was take out on a stretcher during the break. As he’s being put in the ambulance, Vickie looks terrified.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. Langston vs. Curtis Axel

They treat this as a big deal with full entrances and the big match intros. Axel, the champion, is officially no longer a Paul Heyman guy. Langston easily takes him to the mat but gets elbowed in the face to give Axel a breather. Big E. easily tosses Axel around and sends him to the floor to start a chase. Back in and Langston clotheslines him down like it’s nothing as this is one sided so far.

A standing backdrop gets two on the champion but he hits a quick hot shot to get a breather. Axel pounds on his back a bit and we take a break. Back with Axel getting two off a dropkick and hooking a front facelock. Langston finally gets up and just throws Curtis off of him before scoring with some clotheslines. A belly to belly puts Axel down and there’s the Warrior Splash for two. The straps come down and the Big Ending gives Langston the title at 8:50.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but it does beg the question: if they want to make Langston into a big deal, why in the world would you job him clean to Del Rio last week in four minutes? Either way, it was definitely the right idea to switch the belt here as Axel is long past the point of mattering. A gimmick change could help him a lot at the moment because the potential is definitely there.

Orton, in a jacket of all things, is with Shield in the back. He tells them that they’ll have his back because that’s what the Authority wants. Reigns is cool with that, as long as Orton has their back as well. Orton doesn’t say yes.

Time for our first country music bit: Divas musical chairs. The song is by Florida Georgia Line and played over the PA system. The girls don’t circle the chairs and it’s Natalya out first. Alicia goes next and a brawl is about to break out. JBL: “This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.” Thankfully it only lasts about two rounds until the fight breaks out. Cole: “Musical chairs has broken down.” JBL: “It always does.” The Total Divas actually clear the ring, likely setting up another Survivor Series match.

Big Show vs. Ryback

They shove each other around to start with Big Show throwing Ryback into the corner for some right hands and a headbutt. A hard chop and a shoulder puts Ryback on the floor for a nine count as things slow down. Back in and Ryback pounds away before taking out the knee. Some forearms to the back and a leg drop get two and we hit the front facelock followed by a chinlock.

The hold stays on for a good while as Ryback calls a lot of spots. Show finally suplexes his way out before scoring with some clotheslines. Ryback comes back with a very nice spinebuster (all things considered) for two but the Meathook is countered into a chokeslam attempt. Ryback kicks out of it and hits the Meathook before actually hitting Shell Shock on Big Show for two. Ryback tries it again but Big Show shoves him away and hits the WMD for the pin at 7:57.

Rating: C. This is a good example of WWE not thinking more than a week in advance. Ryback hitting Shell Shock on Big Show was rumored to be a major spot at Wrestlemania, but here it’s used as a near fall in a warmup match on a gimmick Raw show. Why in the world would you use it here instead of using it to make Ryback look like a big deal? Oh wait: it’s time for Big Show’s latest push that no one cares about. How could I forget?

Post match Orton tries to sneak in but gets speared down.

Zack Ryder is with Florida Georgia Line when 3MB comes in dressed as cowboys. They’re the Rhinestone Cowboys this week and nothing funny occurs.

Orton is having his ribs taped up.

The Miz/Kofi Kingston vs. Real Americans

Real Americans vs. Goldust/Cody Rhodes for the tag titles on Friday. Miz gets caught in a quick wristlock by Cesaro before hitting the corner clothesline and the top rope ax handle for two. Cesaro catches him in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for no cover before sending Miz to the floor and tagging in Swagger. Jack sends him into the corner for the Vader Bomb followed by the Cesaro double stomp for two.

Off to a quick arm hold, only to have Miz fight up and make the hot tag off to Kofi. House is quickly cleaned with all of Kofi’s jumps and dives, only to be caught in a powerslam for two by Swagger. Kingston spins around Jack’s clothesline into a DDT before going over to Miz for the tag…..but Miz turns on him, allowing Swagger to hook the Patriot Lock for the win at 4:45.

Rating: C-. The match was obvious as soon as they announced the title match on Friday. Miz turning heel is the right move as his face turn just wasn’t working at all. The guy is just a natural heel and wasn’t doing anything as a good guy. If nothing else maybe he’ll stop using the stupid Figure Four which doesn’t work at all for him.

Vickie pretends to have been attacked to get out of her match with AJ.

Stephanie doesn’t buy the injury despite Vickie being loaded onto a stretcher. Could it be because Vickie looked right at the camera before pretending to pass out?

AJ Lee vs. Vickie Guerrero

Vickie is wheeled to the arena, screaming that this can’t happen. I have no idea who the face is supposed to be in this thing but I’m sure I just don’t get what’s going on. Vickie “passes out” again and asks for some water before the bell. She tries to run again and actually gets by Tamina but AJ chases her down. Back in and the Black Widow (the only move of the match) gets the submission at 1:28.

Vickie faints again post match.

There will indeed be a fourteen Diva Survivor Series match on Sunday with the Total Divas against everyone else.

HHH makes a Broadway Brawl between Ziggler and Sandow for tonight. What does that mean? HHH: “I don’t even know.”

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

There are a bunch of musical instruments in the ring, mainly string stuff. Sandow throws him to the floor but misses a shot with an electric guitar. Ziggler dives off the steps to take him down as the announcers reference musical acts from the 70s and earlier. Back in and Damien pounds away before getting caught by a nice dropkick to send him back outside. Ziggler goes up top but dives into a shot from an organ to the ribs as we take a break.

Back with Sandow stomping away on Ziggler in the corner as Cole talks about Lawler meeting Ronnie Milsap. Ziggler comes back but misses a fiddle shot, allowing Sandow to hit him with a guitar for two. Dolph hits a DDT and breaks the fiddle over Sandow’s head before the Fameasser gets two. Sandow goes nuts again and launches Ziggler into the corner before ramming Dolph head first into a chair in the corner for a close two.

Ziggler gets thrown into the drums and hit with a guitar for two. Sandow misses a charge into the post and Ziggler rolls him up for two. A snare drum over Damien’s head and a bass drum does the same, basically tying Sandow up. Ziggler grabs the only remaining guitar, struts over, and blasts Sandow in the head for the pin at 10:17.

Rating: D. Was this supposed to be funny? That’s a genuine question. The announcers were treating it like a comedy match but apparently these two don’t like each other. I say apparently because I don’t remember them having any altercations in recent history, unless I’m forgetting some throwaway segment on Smackdown somewhere. The match was dumb as are most gimmick matches though. We’re also supposed to ignore Sandow’s shoulders being inside the drum and not on the mat.

We look at the opening of Raw and Big Show spearing Orton down again.

Orton goes into the Authority’s office and asks where Shield was earlier. He wants to know if he has the Authority’s confidence but Stephanie says they have to think about it.

Cena talks to Florida Georgia Line.

Here’s Cena with his arm in a sling again, saying he’s had to watch what Del Rio did to his arm on Smackdown every day since it happened. We get a clip of Cena winning the arm wrestling contest, only to have Del Rio put him through a table and lock on the armbreaker in a chair again. Cena says he came back for the fans but thinks maybe he came back too soon and shouldn’t be World Heavyweight Champion. Then he looks around and feels the atmosphere which makes him know he should be champion.

A champion is made of things like determination and toughness instead of cheap shots like Del Rio. Cena says Del Rio doesn’t know what he’s getting into on Sunday and he’ll walk out with the title. This brings out Del Rio who says we have a real superhero in the house. Cena almost made him cry, which Cena says is good because on Sunday he’ll make Del Rio tap.

Del Rio asks Cena to lift up the title with the arm in a sling which Cena can’t do. Alberto gets in the ring while talking about taking advantages of every opportunity. Cena says that’s what champions do and pounds on Alberto before trying the AA, only to have Del Rio escape to the floor.

Rhinestone Cowboys vs. R-Truth/Xavier Woods

3MB remember and it’s Slater on the floor this time. Woods is the former Consequences Creed in TNA and has been in NXT for a good while now. Truth starts with Jinder and we get some hip gyrations. Off to Woods for a dropkick to Mahal followed by a headscissors. McIntyre gets a blind tag but gets caught by a forearm to the face. Woods tries to fight both of them off and gets kicked in the face by Drew to take over.

Woods escapes a slam attempt and tags in Truth who catches Drew with a jumping kick to the head. The sitout front suplex takes McIntyre down again and the suplex into a Stunner sets up the tag to Woods. The Honor Roll (front flip clothesline) sets up the Best in the Woods (Eat Defeat though it’s called Lost in the Woods in NXT) for the pin on McIntyre at 3:15.

Rating: C. This was fine. I kind of like the idea of having Woods just show up in a match instead of some big buildup. I’m not the biggest fan of Xavier but he looked good in the ring and is a good asset to the company since he’s already got a masters degree and is going for his PH.D.

The winners dance post match.

The Authority says they have confidence in Orton but he has no Shield to help him on Sunday. When he wins, he’ll prove to everyone that he’s the face of the WWE. Orton promises to show them confidence.

Florida Georgia Line performs Round Here, the theme song of tonight’s show.

Shield/Wyatt Family vs. Daniel Bryan/CM Punk/Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Usos

There’s a lot of time for this. Jimmy Uso starts against Dean Ambrose with Dean taking him down with a shoulder, only to be clotheslined right back. Off to Jey vs. Reigns with Jey suckering him into the good guy corner where the tag champions work on Roman’s arms. It’s Goldust staying in to backdrop the now legal Rollins before hitting a quick uppercut and atomic drop. A kick to the side of Seth’s head gets two and it’s off to Jey, who charges into an elbow in the corner.

Rollins sends him to the floor but Harper tags himself in to get a piece. The two three man teams argue on the floor as we take a break. Back with Goldust working on Seth’s arm before bringing his brother back in for some right hands. Seth sends Cody into the buckle and the heels take over. Reigns comes in to pound Cody down before it’s back to Seth. Shield is intentionally not tagging in the Wyatts.

Ambrose comes in and pounds away in the corner before clotheslining Cody down for two. Rollins comes back in but has to stop Cody from making a hot tag. Shield finally brings in Rollins who gets taken down by Cody, allowing the hot tag to Bryan. It’s kicks a go-go with Bryan taking down everyone in sight. Harper is sent to the corner but Bryan has to go after Rollins, taking him down with a release German suplex instead of going after Luke. Bryan finally goes after the monster but gets caught in a running sitout powerbomb out of the corner.

The tag brings in Bray Wyatt for some hard elbow drops to Bryan. Bray looks over at Shield and asks if he can trust them before tagging in Reigns. Shield takes their turns beating on Bryan with Ambrose coming in for a modified STF. Bryan gets out and clotheslines Ambrose down but all five of Dean’s partners knock Bryan’s partners off the country as we take another break.

Back with Reigns pounding away on Bryan but getting caught in a DDT. The fans beg him to make the tag and get their wish as Punk comes in for the first time to clean whatever is still dirty in the house. He takes out every heel in sight, including Rollins and Ambrose with a DDT and neckbreaker at the same time. Punk hits the Macho Elbow on Ambrose but Bray distracts him from hitting the GTS.

Instead Punk slaps the Anaconda Vice on Dean, allowing the Family to break it up. Everything breaks down with the Usos hitting their stereo dives on the Family and Ambrose escaping the GTS into the bulldog driver for two. We hit the parade of finishers which goes too fast to keep up with. Punk and Bryan hit a Hart Attack on Rollins because they’re old school like that. The GTS to Ambrose is good for the pin at 24:04.

Rating: C+. This was more long than it was good but the ending sequence was awesome, as almost all parades of finishers are. Again though, why does Ambrose have to take the pin? There are five other guys out there but the only champion on the team has to get pinned? Really? Still though, good stuff.

Post match the Real Americans and other heels come in for the beatdown but REY MYSTERIO returns for the save, apparently as the fifth man on the team at Survivor Series.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m thinking about officially naming this kind of show the Raw Special: it would have been a solid two hour show but the third hour dragged it back to earth. There was some interesting stuff on here like Langston winning the title and Miz turning heel like he should have been all along, but then there’s the other half. Some of the stuff on here was horrid, such as the Cena/Del Rio promo, the AJ vs. Vickie “match” and Ziggler vs. Sandow. At least we fleshed out some of the Survivor Series card, but that doesn’t make this any kind of a good go home show.

Results

Randy Orton b. Brad Maddox via referee stoppage

Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel – Big Ending

Big Show b. Ryback – WMD

Real Americans b. The Miz/Kofi Kingston – Patriot Lock to Kingston

AJ Lee b. Vickie Guerrero – Black Widow

Dolph Ziggler b. Damien Sandow – Guitar shot to the head

R-Truth/Xavier Woods b. Rhinestone Cowboys – Best in the Woods to McIntyre

CM Punk/Daniel Bryan/Usos/Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Shield/Wyatt Family – GTS to Ambrose

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at: