WWE Vault: Unseen Earthquake Dark Matches: Real Monsters Wear Baby Blue

Earthquake Dark Matches
Date: 1989, 2001

This is part of Giants Week on the WWE Vault and the name speaks for itself. Earthquake was one of the better big men of his era but people forget how young he was. It’s fascinating to see what he could do and now we are getting a look at both the beginning and end of his career. Let’s get to it.

From March 26, 1989.

John Tenta vs. Sam Houston

Yes Tenta, despite him wearing the Canadian Earthquake gear. Houston rolls around to start before getting powered into the corner. The big firearm to the chest sets up quite the slam so Houston crawls through Tenta’s legs. Some dropkicks don’t get Huston very far so it’s off to a front facelock for about as much success. We hit the required bearhug until Houston fights out and tries a sleeper. That doesn’t work either so Tenta grabs a spinning belly to belly suplex for the pin at 4:51.

Rating: C. Yeah this was just a squash and that’s all it needed to be. The point in bringing in a monster like Tenta is to put him in there with a smaller guy who had just enough status to matter. Tenta looked decent in there and the gear worked well for him, which is impressive as not every giant can pull off baby blue.

From September 20, 1989.

Earthquake Evans vs. Paul Roma

Evans is in pretty much street clothes and has Slick with him. They circle each other to start until Roma is shoved down with ease. Roma’s right hands in the corner just annoy Evans…but he actually manages to armdrag the monster down into an armbar. Roma stays on the arm for a bit before getting pulled into a powerslam.

A hard whip into the corner rocks Roma again and Evans slaps on the bearhug. Rather than squeezing, Evans sends him into the corner and hits a splash. Rima avoids a charge though and comes back with three straight middle rope forearms to the head to stagger Evans, followed by some dropkicks to actually put him down. A high crossbody misses though and Evans drops the big elbow for the pin at 6:54.

Rating: C. The previous match worked a bit better and oddly enough, a lot of that is due to the gear. The Earthquake singlet worked fine but this was basically him looking like a lumberjack. That takes away a lot of the aura and makes him look like a big guy who can do moves. Roma did his part well though and the fans were getting into it, but Earthquake, at least cosmetically, took a big step backwards here.

From December 22, 2001.

Earthquake vs. Tank Meloche

The fans are rather pleased to see Earthquake, who goes with the power to start. Meloche manages a running shoulder to actually drop him though and it’s off to the corner for a running clothesline. Some chops give us some WOOing and a hiptoss brings Earthquake back out.

Meloche gets in a nice slam for one and a crossbody connects for two. Back up and earthquake hits a splash in the corner, followed by a runing clothesline for two. A terrible looking splash misses for Earthquake (Meloche had already moved before Earthquake left his feet) and Meloche suplexes him down. Earthquake manages a slam off the top and drops the big leg, followed by the Earthquake for the pin at 5:03.

Rating: C-. I can definitely see why Earthquake didn’t get signed, or even another chance, after this. He looked old and not overly impressive, with nostalgia being the only thing he offered here. On the other hand, Meloche looked completely decent and could have been worth another look, but from what I can tell, this is the only recorded match he had, at least under this name. Odds are he worked smaller shows and probably under another name, but he did well enough here that he had me curious.

Overall Rating: C. This one is definitely more in the “historical curiosity” category and not much else. The matches aren’t exactly high quality, though you know what you’re getting from a bunch of dark matches. Earthquake was a talented star in his day, but it was clear that those days passed him by and there wasn’t much of a reason to bring him back. Still though, the early days were good and the Houston match showed a fine enough preview of what he could do.

 

 

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Wrestlemania Dark Match Collection: Get Ready

Wrestlemania Dark Matches
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Tazz, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Joey Styles, Josh Matthews

So this is pretty much as simple as you can get, with the WWE Vault releasing a collection of matches from before the full Wrestlemania cards begin. These matches are tasked with getting the show going and that can make for some interesting options. Some of these are going to be a lot better than others but they can be a lot of fun. Let’s get to it.

From Wrestlemania XVIII.

Mr. Perfect/Lance Storm/Test vs. Rikishi/Albert/Scotty 2 Hotty

Albert and Storm start things off and Jacqueline is the referee. A sitout press slam gives Albert two and it’s off to Scotty, who gets taken down with a leg lariat. Test comes in for a hard corner clothesline but Storm misses a middle rope elbow. Rikishi comes in for a Samoan drop on Perfect (who bounces off like a backdrop for a weird look) and Scotty Worms Storm to send him outside. The Albert Bomb (chokebomb) hits Test and it’s a Stinkface to Perfect, who is smart enough to pull up his towel just in time. Said towel gets stuck on Rikishi, who hits the Banzai Drop for the pin at 3:07.

Rating: C. Fast paced match but they didn’t have time to do much. You’re only going to get so much out of six people in just over three minutes but they managed to make it work well enough. If nothing else, points for not having one of the Canadians take the fall, which would have been such a WWF thing to do in Toronto.

Post match the winners and Jacqueline dance.

From Wrestlemania XXIII.

Ric Flair/Carlito vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero

This is a lumberjack match and Guerrero is the “Cruiserweight of the World” because Lilian Garcia makes a lot of mistakes. To make things even weirder, there is a big curtain over the entrance as the set hasn’t been revealed yet. Helms backs Flair into the corner to start but gets hiptossed for his efforts. Carlito comes in and gets poked in the eye, allowing Chavo to come in and get dropped in a hurry. A dropkick sends Chavo outside so Snitsky throws him back inside without much trouble. Back in and Helms takes over with a chinlock on Carlito and it’s back to Chavo as Cole puts over the awesomeness of Detroit.

The slow beating continues as there is very little heat to the whole thing as it’s already running long. Carlito gets in a shot of his own and brings in Flair to chop away. Helms breaks up the Figure Four so Carlito comes in as everything breaks down. Chavo misses the frog splash though and it’s back to Carlito to clean house. Helms gets backdropped onto the lumberjacks and Carlito hits a quick Backstabber to pin Chavo (because OF COURSE the champion had to take the fall) at 6:38.

Rating: C-. The point here was to get Flair in the ring and to have a bunch of people get on the DVD as a lumerback. That doesn’t make for the most thrilling match though as they went a lot longer than they should have. It wasn’t an interesting match in the first place and then it went long, which is never a good combination.

From Wrestlemania XXII.

Battle Royal

Eugene, Viscera, Snitsky, Goldust, Lance Cade, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, Funaki, Steven Richards, Simon Dean, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Psicosis, Animal, William Regal

Officially this is Raw vs. Smackdown, but it’s also every man for themselves so the logic is kind of contradictory. Cole: “I guess we have to be impartial here.” Tazz: “Why?” Simon Dean tries to tell us to get in shape and is promptly eliminated first. Brawling on the ropes ensues and Conway is out, followed by Funaki. Cade (Cole: “Who’s that?”) is out and Richards takes too much time posing, meaning he’s eliminated as well.

There goes Striker (thankfully) and Regal gets hit with Shattered Dreams. Murdoch dumps Eugene as the ring is thankfully clearing out a bit. Psicosis gets rid of Goldust in an upset and Eugene stops for a reunion with Regal. Snitsky isn’t having the risk of that being his fault so he tosses Regal without much effort. MNM hits a Snapshot on Eugene to get rid of him as well and we settle down to the final four from each show getting into a staredown. Psicosis gets rid of Murdoch and then gets knocked out by Tomko to get us down to six.

Tomko and Snitsky beat up Animal and Viscera crushes MNM in various corners. MNM fight back (the Melina screams might be powering them on) and avoid a Viscera charge, only to make the mistake of trying a Snapshot. The double Visagra (if you don’t know, don’t ask) has Melina cringing before MNM is out. Snitsky accidentally knocks Tomko out and it’s Animal left with Viscera and Snitsky, as I’ll let you guess who the Chicago fans are behind. For some reason Animal is eliminated and Snitsky misses a charge so Viscera wins at 9:03 without touching him.

Rating: D+. Why would you put Animal this close to getting the win in a meaningless battle royal on the pre-show and then have him lose for the sake of Snitsky and Viscera? This was the second time I’ve seen this match in about a month and it still doesn’t make a ton of sense. Maybe Viscera couldn’t take a bump over the top, but egads this seemed like it could have been a fun moment and it wound up just being forgettable.

From Wrestlemania XXV.

Tag Team Titles: John Morrison/The Miz vs. Colons

This is a lumberjack match to unify both sets of Tag Team Titles, with commentary saying this kind of match has NEVER happened before, about ten minutes after we saw it in the same collection. Primo and Morrison start things off with Primo getting in a headstand in the corner, setting up a hurricanrana to send Morrison outside. The beating lets Primo get two and it’s Carlito coming in for a double slingshot drop. Carlito misses a shot of his own though and it’s off to Miz for his Wrestlemania in-ring debut.

This goes as badly as you would expect, with Carlito knocking him down and hitting a double springboard flip dive. Morrison grabs Carlito by the hair though and throws him outside, nearly triggering a brawl with the lumberjacks. Back in and Carlito gets caught in a double hot shot for two and Miz grabs a chinlock. Carlito fights up for a double knockdown and does it again with Morrison, which is enough to bring Primo back in to clean house.

Some flips set up a dropkick (as Miz might not have been in position in time) but Morrison is right back in with the Flying Chuck for two. Everything breaks down and Carlito spears Miz through the ropes, leaving Morrison to roll through Primo’s high crossbody for two more. Morrison tries a reverse suplex but Primo flips over into a Backstabber in a sweet counter for the pin and the titles at 8:22.

Rating: B-. This was a more traditional match as the lumberjacks were barely a factor. The Colons winning was a nice way to go as it’s a bit of a surprise and a fun surprise to start the night. If nothing else, the finish was more than good enough to make for a big ending. Good stuff here, and one of the better pre-show matches to date.

From Wrestlemania XXIV.

Battle Royal

Elijah Burke, The Miz, Chuck Palumbo, Snitsky, Deuce, Tommy Dreamer, Shannon Moore, Jamie Noble, Kofi Kingston, Festus, Cody Rhodes, Lance Cade, Hardcore Holly, Jesse, Stevie Richards, Trevor Murdoch, The Brian Kendrick, The Great Khali, Jimmy Wang Yang, Domino, Mark Henry, Val Venis, Kane, Jim Duggan

For an ECW Title shot on the main card. It’s a brawl to start and Deuce and Domino are both out in a hurry. Khali chops away at some people as Tazz recommends hiding in the corner. There goes Duggan and Burke knocks out Richards, only to get tossed by Kane. It’s time for the required Kane vs. Khali fight before Miz is eliminated. Henry dumps out Yang and Moore and Jesse follows them both. There goes Murdoch and Festus is out, followed by Kendrick in a big crash.

Henry easily throws Kingston out and Palumbo tosses Noble…who lands on Kingston and climbs back inside (so THAT’S where Kingston learned it). Then he’s tossed out again. A bunch of people get together to toss Khali and Snitsky gets rid of Holly. We’re down to Kane, Snitsky and Henry, with the fans getting WAY into this. Snitsky spends too much time glaring and gets knocked out by Henry, leaving us with two. Henry’s gorilla press is broken up and Kane kicks him out for the win and the title shot (he would win the title in about ten seconds) at 6:22.

Rating: C. The important thing here is they kept it moving rather than waiting around for a long time. These things are only going to have a small handful of realistic winners so clearing them out that fast is a good way to go. ECW needed some bigger stars and Kane certainly fits the bill so this was a nice cross between smart and efficient.

From Wrestlemania XXIX.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

Miz is challenging and kicks away in the corner, only to get hit in the face to cut that off. Barrett hammers away, shouts about Miz’s lack of awesomeness, but can’t hit the Wasteland. Miz can’t get the Skull Crushing Finale either though and Barrett is back with a swinging Boss Man Slam for two. The Bull Hammer misses though and Miz gets the Figure Four, giving us a reminder that Ric Flair gave the hold to the Miz. In case you hadn’t praised Flair enough recently you see. Barrett makes the rope and hits the Wasteland for two, only to get caught in the Figure Four for the tap and the title at 4:08.

Rating: C. Nothing much to see here, but at least we got a nice tribute to Ric Flair, who has absolutely nothing to do with this match. The match was just there for the sake of a moment to fire the fans up to start, as Miz would lose the title back to Barrett the next night. I like the idea of a Miz face run, but it wasn’t exactly working here, with the Figure Four not helping things.

From Wrestlemania XXVI.

Battle Royal

Mark Henry, Shad Gaspard, JTG, Goldust, Yoshi Tatsu, Santino Marella, Primo, Kung Fu Naki, Slam Master J., Jimmy Wang Yang, Chris Masters, Vladimir Kozlov, Great Khali, Finlay, William Regal, Luke Gallows, Carlito, Tyler Reks, Zack Ryder, Lance Archer, Mike Knox, Caylen Croft, Trent Beretta, Tyson Kidd, David Hart-Smith, Chavo Guerrero

The NXT rookies come out to watch from the stage and more than a few of them would go on to be bigger than a lot of the people int his match. Primo and J are both out in a hurry as there are too many people in there to be able to focus. Henry tosses Beretta and Croft, followed by Chavo. Khali chops Henry out and then a bunch of people get together to toss him out. Cryme Tyme gets rid of Gallows and then Shad tosses JTG in a funny moment. We slow way down until Masters, Kidd, Smith and Kozlov are thrown out in a row.

Funaki, Goldust, Regal, Gaspard and Regal all go out in a hurry and Santino Hulks Up, meaning it’s a sting of Cobras. Finlay cuts that off and tosses him out, followed by Yang and Archer going out as well. Hornswoggle comes in and helps Finlay hit various people with the shillelagh before Carlito is tossed. We’re down to Finlay, Knox, Ryder and Tatsu, with Ryder eliminating Knox and Finlay at once. Tatsu clotheslines Ryder to the apron and then kicks him out for the win at 8:31.

Rating: C. Nothing to the match, as you probably expected, but Tatsu is the kind of fun guy that you want winning something like this. If you don’t have someone local to win the match, let someone young and energetic like Tatsu take it instead. It didn’t exactly lead anywhere for him, but it also didn’t hurt anyone so go with something entertaining.

Sidenote: Tatsu’s music was so freaking catchy!

From Wrestlemania XIX.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Chief Morley/Lance Storm vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam

Morley/Storm are defending and have the Dudley Boyz in their corner, albeit the Dudleys are not here voluntarily. It’s a brawl to start with Kane and Van Dam clearing the ring without much trouble. Van Dam hits a big running flip dive to take the champs out and we take a break.

Back with Morley grabbing a chinlock on Van Dam before missing a middle rope elbow. Kane comes in to clean house, including the side slam and top rope clothesline to Storm. Van Dam kicks Morley down and the chokeslam plants Storm. The Five Star is broken up but the Dudleys give Storm a 3D…and deck Van Dam to give Storm the pin at 5:41.

Rating: C+. This could have been on any given episode of Raw and, believe it or not, Kane and Van Dam won the titles the next night in a three way match. Kane and Van Dam worked well together and it makes sense to see them getting in a spot like this. Nice match, albeit with an ending that could have been a lot happier given what was happening the next day.

Overall Rating: C. This is a weird thing to see as the matches aren’t supposed to be show stealers or anything close. They’re designed to be there for the sake of getting the crowd warm without spending a lot of time or burning through a big match. The battle royals were fun enough and that’s all this was supposed to be. It’s nothing mind blowing and nothing that hasn’t been seen before, but I’ve seen far worse historic flashbacks.

 

 

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WWE Vault Dark Match Collection: Eh

Dark Matches
Commentators: Tazz, Joey Styles

So this is exactly what it is described as from the WWE Vault: a 35 minute collection of dark matches from over the years. To the best of my knowledge, there is no commentary or anything other than the action itself, which means I’m going to be VERY limited in what I can do with some of this stuff. Still though, it’s exactly the kind of fun content that you do not get elsewhere so let’s get to it.

Note that most of the dates and locations are from what I can find elsewhere and putting some pieces together so they might not be entirely perfect.

From Montreal, Quebec, Canada, July 7, 2003 before Monday Night Raw.

Pierre Carl Oulette vs. El Tornado

Oulette powers him down to start and hits an early backdrop with Tornado (who was still wrestling in 2024 but pretty much never left Canada) bailing to the floor. A neck snap across the top rope staggers Oulette but he comes out of the corner with a heck of a clothesline.

The big running flip dive to the floor misses (OUCH) and Tornado takes him back inside for a quickly broken chinlock. Oulette hits a chokeslam and sitout pumphandle slam but a bulldog out of the corner is broken up. Tornado rolls him up for two but gets caught on top, with Oulette hitting a t-bone superplex (you don’t see that very often). The Cannonball (Swanton) finishes Tornado at 4:46.

Rating: C+. This was likely either a tryout match for Oulette or just an appeal to the local fans and I’ve seen far worse. Oulette is a guy with some size who can do some crazy stuff in the ring and he had it on display here. Good stuff with Tornado being serviceable enough, but this was pretty much all about Oulette, as it should have been.

From New York City, New York, August 7, 2000 before Monday Night Raw.

Mean Street Posse vs. Low Ki/Vince Goodnight

Goodnight is an east coast guy who mostly retired in 2001 but keeps coming back every six or seven years for a few matches. The Posse jumps them to start and get sent outside, where Low Ki is right there for a huge twisting flip dive. Back in and Goodnight gets whipped into Ki to knock him off the apron, where Gas gives him a World’s Strongest Slam on the floor.

Back in and Rodney hammers away in the corner, followed by Gas hitting a spinning slam to drop him again. A Hennig necksnap keeps Ki in trouble and the Posse gets to stomp away. Gas chokes in the corner as Ki gets beaten up even more. Ki finally avoids a charge and hits a superkick, allowing the tag off to Goodnight. Everything breaks down and Ki just unloads with about twelve straight kicks to Rodney’s face. Gas hits the Gas Mask (a reverse full nelson sitout powerbomb, actually not a bad move) to pin Goodnight at 4:45 (while Rodney hits a pretty random Blockbuster on Ki).

Rating: D+. To call this a total mess would be an understatement, as you had Ki with his martial arts and flipping style being about ten years ahead of its time and Goodnight just being a guy with long hair. At the same time though, the Posse was just not good enough to be at this level and it was showing more and more every time they were in the ring. It was fun to have them as Shane McMahon’s bodyguards and lackeys, but having them try to do actual matches was just bad. Ki stood out the most of course, but that shouldn’t be anything close to a surprise.

From New York City, New York, August 1, 2006 before ECW On Sci Fi

FBI vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

London and Kendrick’s Smackdown Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line. This is from the Hammerstein Ballroom and for some reason Joey Styles and Tazz are doing commentary (I wonder if this was meant to be a DVD extra or something). Guido (whose trunks say Nunzio), who is very taped up, shakes hands with Kendrick to start things off before getting armdragged down a few times.

They go to the mat to no avail and that’s a standoff. Mamaluke comes in and London stomps on his arm, with Kendrick adding an elbow to said arm. London and Kendrick take turns on the arm as we settle down to a pretty basic style. Guido comes back in and gets dropped by a springboard high crossbody, followed by double dropkicks. We get what seems to be some miscommunication as everything breaks down and London slugs it out with Mamaluke on the floor.

Guido chinlocks Kendrick back inside, which seems like a way to get things back under control (as you’re supposed to do). Mamaluke grabs a short armscissors on Kendrick before Guido knees him in the head for two. Kendrick finally rolls away from a charge and hands it back to London to pick up the pace. The dropsault hits Guido and Mamaluke has to make the save.

Mamaluke seems to screw something up by kicking Kendrick in the face, setting up a flip dive from the apron. London’s big running flip dive COMPLETELY misses and he lands hard on the floor (Kendrick DIVES on him to make sure he’s ok) and we’re clipped to London being back inside and Kendrick hitting Sliced Bread #2, setting up a step up shooting star press to give London the pin on Guido at 9:56 shown.

Rating: C. This was a weird match with the commentary pausing at random moments and a bit less of an over the top style from Styles. That being said, it wasn’t a bad match as you had two teams who can work a pretty fast paced style. That crash landing from London was terrible and there were some other botched, but it was a match that got some time and could have been better with a few less mistakes.

From Memphis, Tennessee, September 18, 2001 before Monday Night Raw.

Kid Kash vs. Justin Credible

It’s rare to see two names against each other, even in an ECW reunion. Feeling out process to start until Kash snaps off a headscissors to send Credible outside. A twisting dive takes Credible down again and it’s weird to be stuck on the hard cam shot rather than going down to see them on the floor. Back in and Credible hits his running spinning DDT, allowing him to do his signature thing of yelling at the crowd.

Credible stomps and chokes away before grabbing the chinlock as fans are filing in and trying to find their seats. That’s broken up and Kash knocks him down before being kicked into the corner, only to come down head first with a low blow (Sting approves). Kash is back up with his own spinning DDT for two, followed by a rather crazy spinning hurricanrana from the top. Credible sidesteps a moonsault though and hits a superkick (not bad either) for the pin at 5:55.

Rating: C. I’ve never gotten the appeal of Credible and that was on full display here. There is nothing about him that makes him stand out and having him yell at the crowd over and over isn’t the best way to go. Kash was doing his usual flippy stuff and it worked well enough, but getting over Credible is a heck of a task to pull off.

From Richmond, Virginia, April 28, 1998 before Monday Night Raw.

Steve Williams vs. Scorpio

This could be interesting. Williams shoves him down without much trouble to start (shocking I know) and then wrestles him down, with Scorpio bailing over to the ropes. Back up and Williams slowly hammers away but does stop to block a hiptoss attempt. Scorpio gets caught in a gorilla press (and looks terrified) and sent outside as this is domination so far. Back in and Scorpio gets in a few shots but Williams calmly punches him out of the air in a so simple it’s awesome counter.

The seated crossarm choke goes on for a good while but Scorpio finally gets out and chops away. A knee lift sends Williams into the corner and he misses a charge, allowing Scorpio to get a belly to back suplex. Scorpio hits a top rope forearm to the head for two and a running spinning kick gets the same. A handspring clothesline in the corner drops Williams but he’s back up to pull a moonsault out of the air. Williams’ powerslam gets two but Scorpio flips onto him for two of his own. Williams hits a spinebuster and some three point shoulders, followed by a belly to back suplex for the pin at 9:17.

Rating: C-. This was ok but it went on far too long. Eventually Williams looked like he was running out of things to do. It didn’t help that Scorpio was mostly beaten up for such a long stretch as it turned into waiting for the match to end already. Nothing much to see here, which is a shame as the talent involved could have made it good.

Overall Rating: C. Maybe it was due to having fun with the squash match collection, but this was pretty disappointing. Not only was there nothing overly notable, but none of the matches were anything worth seeing. There are some good dark matches out there, but this was just a bunch of random stuff and it was only so interesting. I’m not sure what they were going for here but it didn’t quite hit.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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