Monday Night Raw
Date: August 16, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This was a request for reasons not quite clear. It’s night after Summerslam and the big story is John Cena and company vanquished the Nexus, in a match that saw Cena overcome some rather insane odds. Other than that, Sheamus is still Raw World Champion, having retained the title over Randy Orton. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here is the Nexus to get things going, with commentary saying that the team showed they belong despite losing last night. Wade Barrett (the team’s leader) says they beat SIX of the best that Raw had to offer last night (keep in mind that it was a 7 on 7 tag match) and they are still ready to dominate WWE. They were defeated and that means there will be consequences for Raw.

Cue John Cena, to say that Barrett has the resolve of Winston Churchill and the toughness of Snooki from the Jersey Shore. Cena brings up how Barrett tapped out to cause the team to lose. The reality is that Nexus is expendable and Barrett must be kicking himself in the fish and chips over letting Daniel Bryan go. Then last night Bryan eliminated over half of the Nexus by himself as they proved that Nexus can be defeated.

You have the various members of the team, such as Otunga (an above average male escort), Tarver (looks like a stripper), Heath Slater (the chick from Wendy’s…..so Wendy), Darren Young (a cross between Cena and Buckwheat), Justin Gabriel (he has an “alternative” way of thinking) and Skip Sheffield (who thinks the Meow Mix theme).

All that matters is they are a bunch of humans, with Young tapping out in less than a minute. We get an email from the anonymous Raw General Manager (egads the flashbacks), saying tonight it’s Team WWE vs. Nexus in a bunch of singles matches, with threats made against Nexus interference.

Barrett doesn’t like hearing that he tapped out, but promises that after tonight, Nexus will be stronger than ever. If any of them lose though, their spots might not be safe. Otunga says that’s fine, but if Barrett loses, someone else can step up and take the leadership. We get another email, saying Nexus can pick their matchups tonight. Except for Barrett that is, because he gets to face Chris Jericho. So there’s your show tonight, and they did it in about fifteen minutes. That’s fairly fast for some Raw opening segments.

Chris Jericho vs. Wade Barrett

Jericho kicks him down to start as the rest of Nexus is shown watching in the back. There’s the triangle dropkick to send Barrett outside but he’s able to knock Jericho off the apron for a breather. There’s a big boot to drop Jericho again and we hit the double arm crank. Jericho fights up and hits a middle rope dropkick, followed by the bulldog. A quick Wasteland attempt is countered into the Walls, sending Barrett straight to the rope. Back up and Jericho boots him in the face again, only to get caught with an enziguri. The Codebreaker is loaded up but Barrett reverses into the Wasteland for the clean pin.

Rating: C+. Jericho can be criticized for a lot of things, but he has a reputation as someone who will put just about anyone over. That is a big win for Barrett, especially after last night’s big loss. Barrett being able to hang with someone at Jericho’s level helps him a lot and they had a good match to show what Barrett can do.

This week’s guest hosts are Jason Sudekis, Charlie Day and Justin Long. They have a new moving coming out and seemingly have no idea what to talk about here so they just make weird noises. We hear some NBA insults before the team introduces the Hart Dynasty (Tag Team Champions).

Hold on though as we get another email. As of tonight, the Unified Tag Team Titles will now be known as the WWE Tag Team Titles, so here is Bret Hart with the new (bronze, because of course) titles. Thankfully that means dropping the dumb four belts for two people idea but here is Nexus on the screen. They have picked Hart’s opponent for tonight: Justin Gable, who promises a 450 to Bret. At least those morons were off quick.

We hear about Daniel Bryan replacing the injured Great Khali on Team WWE. No clip for that?

Michael Tarver vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan goes after the arm to start as Cole goes off about Bryan having no skill or change of becoming a star because he doesn’t eat meat. The rapid fire kicks to the chest in the corner have Tarver in more trouble and a missile dropkick makes it worse. Cue Miz and Alex Riley for a distraction though, allowing Tarver to get the fast rollup pin.

Post match Bryan goes after the Miz but Riley and Tarver take him down. The Skull Crushing Finale onto Miz’s Money In The Bank briefcase leaves Bryan laying.

Post break Miz and Riley talk about how they don’t like Bryan’s popularity, with Miz promising that Riley will be the next breakout star.

Darren Young tells Nexus that he’ll be facing John Cena. Pep talking ensues.

Justin Gabriel vs. Bret Hart

Actually hold on as we get an email saying there is a replacement.

Justin Gabriel vs. Randy Orton

Orton (in his weird bare arms phase) powers him into the corner to start but Gabriel flips over him and starts kicking away. As Lawler tries to figure out what kind of animal Gabriel is poking here (before finally remembering the whole VIPER thing), Orton snaps off the powerslam and the hanging DDT. The RKO is loaded up but cue Sheamus for….not a DQ as Orton brawls with him into the crowd for the countout instead. Well that was a dumb way out of the stipulation.

Post match Orton goes back inside to RKO Gabriel. With that not being enough, Orton grabs a chair and unloads on Sheamus to blow off some steam. That’s not enough so Orton drops Sheamus with the RKO on the floor for a bonus.

Skip Sheffield/David Otunga vs. R-Truth/John Morrison

Morrison works on Otunga’s arm to start before grabbing a Russian legsweep. It’s off to Sheffield to powerslam Truth but Otunga comes back in and gets Downward Spiraled. Cole asks what a Truth/Morrison win would mean for the locker room’s psyche. I’m thinking….not much? Anyway Morrison comes back in to pick up the pace but Sheffield runs him over. One heck of a running clothesline finishes Morrison to keep Nexus undefeated.

Melina/Eve Torres/Gail Kim vs. Jillian/Maryse/Alicia Fox

Gail easily takes Maryse down to start and calls her a gold digger. A crossbody gives Gail two and it’s off to Melina, who is taken into the wrong corner. Fox hits her always nice looking northern lights suplex and the chinlock goes on. That’s broken up and Eve comes in with a bunch of dropkicks. Everything breaks down and Eve hits an enziguri out of the corner to drop Jillian. The moonsault is loaded up but Jillian rolls her up out of the corner for the big upset pin.

Edge isn’t surprised that he led Team WWE to victory last night but here is Heath Slater to interrupt. They’re facing each other tonight and Heath tries to get him to back out. That’s not going to work for Edge, who isn’t losing to a Wendy looking Edge wannabe. Heath decks him and leaves.

Edge vs. Heath Slater

Edge knocks him into the corner without too much trouble to start but Heath gets in a cheap shot. They head outside with Edge being sent into the barricade, followed by the armbar back inside. That’s broken up and Edge makes the clothesline comeback for two. Heath gets in his own clothesline for two, with a fan shouting “I HATE YOU HEATH SLATER! I HATE YOU!” Back up and Edge sends him (Heath, not the fan) outside but misses the baseball slide dropkick. The spear against the steps misses….and Heath beats the count back inside for the pin.

Rating: C-. Well that was nothing, but it’s getting more than a little tough to accept that after eliminating all seven members last night, Team WWE can’t beat a single member of the Nexus here. That doesn’t makes the most sense and it’s leading to some rather screwy finishes. This didn’t feel like something Edge would ever fall for and it’s not something I would buy him doing, which doesn’t exactly make for a strong finish.

Post match Edge hits a spear to blow off some steam.

The hosts are in the back with Great Khali and talk about long distances relationships (which is why Khali hasn’t been doing the Kiss Cam). Justin Long sees a picture of Khali’s girlfriend and the other hosts aren’t impressed. They then find out that Khali understands English, but he admits the girlfriend is ugly. Then he leaves with the Bellas. Cole: “WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?”

Video on Summerslam week, including a bunch of charity stuff.

John Cena vs. Darren Young

No entrance for Young and that can’t be a good sign. Hold on though as cue Nexus to watch from the stage and Young gets two off a fast rollup to start. Young grabs a headlock and my goodness you can hear the spots being called despite a fairly rowdy crowd. Cena reverses into a headlock of his own but gets suplexed down, setting up a legdrop for two more. Cole: “Remember Young has to win this match.” Lawler: “I think Cena has to win this match.” Cole: “I agree with you.”

A clothesline and neckbreaker give Young two each and we hit the chinlock with a knee in the back. Back up and Cena….charges into an elbow in the corner as this has been one sided so far. Young drops a leg, Cena says “one more leg”, Young drops another leg. A northern lights suplex gets two more and Young is getting frustrated. With nothing else working, Young tosses him outside and then into the steps for a nine count. Back in and Cena quickly starts the comeback, setting up the Shuffle into the STFU for the tap.

Rating: C+. For someone who almost never got used on his own, Young can wrestle a decent match when he is given the chance. Granted having Cena call spots REALLY LOUDLY might have helped, but it was the best Young ever looked in WWE. At some point someone from Nexus had to lose and Young was the only one left by the end.

Post match the Nexus comes to the ring but let Cena go, instead circling Young. The big beatdown is on, with the Wasteland into the 450 splash destroying Young to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Normally I like the idea of focusing on one thing throughout the show but this was extreme even by WWE standards. Other than the women’s match and some dumb stuff with the hosts, this was all about one storyline. Throw in Nexus dominating most of the show and this wasn’t exactly interesting, with Nexus dominating most of the show despite losing last night. Not a good show, as the Nexus story was instantly a lot lamer after the Summerslam loss. Focusing on a big story is fine, but you have to mix it up a bit.

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Royal Rumble 2016
Date: January 24, 2016
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 15,170
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

Now this one actually has my interest for a change. A year ago, WWE decided that the right idea was to have WWE World Champion Roman Reigns fight everyone in a single match for the title. This is completely different as now he fights everyone for the US Title. Anyway, the whole thing is about the main event, as it should be, so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Mark Henry/Jack Swagger vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Darren Young/Damien Sandow vs. Ascension

One fall to a finish and the winners go to the Rumble. I can’t help but call JBL cute for suggesting that any of these four have a chance to win the Rumble. The fans want Sandow and just EXPLODE when he actually gets the tag. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two on Swagger before it’s off to Young so the crowd can die all over again. Konnor tags himself in and it’s a big eight way standoff as we take a break.

Back with Swagger powerslamming Konnor as we hear about the fans wanting some Sandow. D-Von gets crotched against the post so the fans change up to wanting Sexual Chocolate. Henry obliges with a hip swivel, which will probably get him fined for not focusing enough or some jazz like that. A D-VON chant gets him back to his feet because we need a long chinlock in a match that doesn’t break eight minutes and has eight participants. Bubba comes in off the hot tag and cleans house with Young taking Wazzup. 3D gets two on Viktor but Henry steals the pin at 7:58.

Rating: D. This wasn’t great but it did everything it needed to do. At the end of the day, other than MAYBE the Dudleyz, Swagger and Henry were the only pairing that made sense here. Just let us have two former World Champions in there to fill in a few spots. It’s not like anyone wanted to see Young or Ascension (a sign in the crowd called them today’s joke and I can’t say I disagree) in there so go with what makes sense.

Vince and Stephanie McMahon show up in a limo (So they’re good at this point. Got it.) and talk about how awesome tonight is going to be and how fair it is to Reigns. Vince loves the idea, almost as much as he loves himself.

The opening video recaps the only thing that matters here with the tagline of One vs. All. I liked that last year and I still do.

Intercontinental Title: Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose is defending and this is last man standing. They go right after each other to start with Dean hammering away and biting Owens’ head before scoring with the bulldog out of the corner. What looks like a tablet to the head gives Owens a breather and a superkick sets up the Cannonball through the barricade. A few chair shots keep Dean in trouble and Owens has a seat as the champ gets up.

Two chairs are set up in the middle of the ring but, just like putting a chair in the corner, whoever sets them up goes through them, meaning Ambrose backdrops him through the chairs. A suicide dive is countered into a ram into the apron followed by a whip into the steps for about a seven. With Ambrose getting up again, Owens loads up two tables on top of each other but the superplex is blocked, meaning we’ll get back to the big crash later.

Dirty Deeds gets eight on Owens and another one onto a chair sends Owens rolling to the floor to land on his feet at nine. Eh that’s kind of clever. The fans want Owens to fight (multiple times even) but Dean elbows him through a table. That’s still not enough so Dean says he hates Owens. Kevin: “I hate you too!” Back in and Owens’ swinging fisherman’s superplex sends Dean through another table to give Kevin a nine count. Owens lays Dean on a set of chairs but the champ pops up and shoves him through the double tables to retain at 20:50.

Rating: B+. It’s no masterpiece but this is the kind of show that only needs one great match to be a classic, making this a bonus. The big spot at the end was a good choice and I kind of like that over a finisher onto something made of metal. It’s a good match and a good way to open things up since the rest of the card is just a way to get to the main event.

We recap heel New Day (what a weird concept, though they’re rapidly turning face here) vs. the Usos, which has involved Chris Jericho destroying Francesca to freak Woods out.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos

New Day is defending (of course) and there’s no Woods. Kofi asks for a moment of silence for Francesca but here’s Woods with a new trombone named Francesca II. See, he’s in mourning but a man has, ahem, needs. This isn’t it for them tonight though as New Day wants the World Title so 2016 can be all gold everything. Kofi: “GOLDEN UNICORNS!” Woods: “Stay golden pony boy.”

The twins take over to start and the fans aren’t all that thrilled. A jawbreaker puts Jimmy down and it’s off to Big E. for some hip swiveling, only to have Jey dropkick him into the barricade. Woods proves his worth to the team by dropping Jey to take over again. Sometimes it’s a bit harder to get rid of those old heel tendencies you see. The fans demand a Francesca performance but Woods plays when he wants to, which isn’t while Kofi has Jey in a chinlock.

The Warrior Splash gives Big E. two as JBL talks about NFL coin flips. A spinning enziguri drops Kofi and there’s the hot tag to Jimmy so house can be cleaned. Normally the fans are a bit more enthusiastic about that but New Day is just WAY too popular here for fans to get behind the Usos.

Everything breaks down and a Whisper in the Wind gets two on Big E. A belly to belly gets the same on Jey but the spear through the ropes is blocked by a raised knee. Why not just step to the side? The second attempt works a bit better but it’s too early for the Midnight Hour. Jey superkicks Kofi into the Superfly Splash for two as a foot goes on the rope. Kofi eats another superkick but a blind tag brings in Big E. for the Big Ending to retain at 10:52.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get rolling but once everything broke down, it was as good as you would expect from these teams. New Day is clearly the future of the division despite being champs for nearly five months at this point. Catching a top rope splash out of the air is really impressive as the champs continue to show that they have the ring work to back up their charisma.

We look back at Brock Lesnar beating up the League of Nations, followed by Reigns spearing Brock. The Wyatts then beat Reigns and Brock up to make themselves a threat for later tonight.

The Wyatts say they’ll win the title for Bray tonight. Singing ensues.

US Title: Kalisto vs. Alberto Del Rio

Kalisto is challenging and they’ve been trading the title for a few weeks now. Kalisto starts fast with the strikes to send him outside for a suicide dive. Now you might think this is competitive, but JBL is right there to hammer in the ideas that David NEVER beats Goliath and that Kalisto is going to get destroyed. You know, in case you’re dumb enough to not get the idea here.

Back in and Del Rio kicks him down, followed by a top rope ax handle for two. That means JBL gets to talk about how fun it is to beat up luchadors. Two knees to the ribs have Kalisto in more trouble and it’s time to go after the mask. There’s some good heel psychology in there about someone with Del Rio knowing the tradition of the mask and going after it anyway but the announcers gloss over it.

Del Rio’s low superkick gets two and Kalisto gets the same off a springboard tornado DDT. Kalisto goes up top but gets caught in a reverse superplex. They HORRIBLY botch a Code Red (the sunset bomb) so Kalisto goes straight to the Salida Del Sol for two. Del Rio unhooks a turnbuckle pad and of course he goes into it, setting up another Salida Del Sol for the pin and the title at 11:32.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but the commentary was driving me crazy here. JBL kept talking about how there was NO WAY the smaller guy could win and that’s exactly what we saw happening. There’s a difference between setting up an idea and just hammering it into the ground, which is what we had here. The match itself was fine but I do wonder how they screwed up Kalisto. He might not have been a future World Champion but he’s someone that could have been a fixture in the midcard. Instead, he’s just a guy on the roster because we needed to feed him to Rusev down the line. You know, to feed him to Reigns.

Pre-show recap.

Paul Heyman comes up to Stephanie and says they can renegotiate Lesnar’s contract after he wins the Rumble. Stephanie is cool with that as long as Reigns is taken to Suplex City. Why she hates Reigns isn’t clear but I’d assume it’s because she just feels like it at the moment.

Recap of Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch. They were best friends but Charlotte won the title and realized she didn’t need Becky anymore. Becky talked Ric Flair into accepting the title shot for his daughter and we’re ready to roll.

Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Charlotte is defending and has her dad with her. Feeling out process to start with Charlotte shouldering her down. Becky goes right for the arm and the fans are entirely behind her. The announcers explain the Figure Eight as Charlotte grabs an armbar of her own. Back up and a kick to the chest puts Charlotte on the floor where Ric gets in Becky’s way. A clothesline drops the champ again so Flair kisses Becky for your weekly case of sexual assault (edited off the Network).

Charlotte takes over and grabs a cravate as the fans are WAY behind Becky here. Like moreso than usual. Thankfully Charlotte mocks the chants before doing the headscissor faceplants followed by the Figure Four necklock. Becky gets out and starts firing off dropkicks to take over but a neckbreaker puts Charlotte right back in control.

The Bexploder gets two and Charlotte’s spear gets the same. You can hear Flair freaking out as only he can and it wouldn’t be the same without that screaming. Becky gets a cross armbreaker out of the corner and the fans get right back into this, only to have a powerbomb break the hold to give Charlotte two. The Disarm-Her goes on but Flair throws his jacket at Becky for the distraction, allowing Charlotte to get another spear to retain at 11:34.

Rating: B. Another good match between the two of them but I’m really starting to roll my eyes at Flair’s interference. We get the concept already and there’s no need to keep doing it over and over. At some point Charlotte needs to drop him and once that happens, she’s going to go through the roof, which would turn out to be in a bigger way than anyone could have expected.

Charlotte beats on Becky post match but here’s Sasha Banks for the save and Bank Statement on the champ. Cole: “Sasha Banks making a statement with the Bank Statement!” I bet he spent two weeks coming up with that one.

Some fans went to the Performance Center under the ruse of being part of a focus group. The wound up getting to meet a full tour of the facility and met most of the NXT roster. Note to self: sign up for focus groups.

Rumble By the Numbers video, which is still one of my favorite annual traditions. This is tied in with the stats that Reigns, who is entering at #1, has to overcome to retain the title.

WWE World Title: Royal Rumble

Reigns is defending and comes in at #1, making the tagline One vs. All. We have 90 second intervals here and that’s rarely a good thing. I had forgotten about Reigns’ through the crowd entrance and how unfitting it was. Can you imagine him trying to pull that today without getting pummeled? Anyway Reigns is in at #2 and Rusev is in at #2, which is smart as they had an awesome final section to a battle royal on Smackdown back in 2015. They start slugging it out and even JBL knows they can’t keep up this pace. Rusev gets in a spinwheel kick but can’t throw him out. Well not over the top at least as he sends Roman through the ropes instead. The spear however is enough to put Rusev out as the clock begins.

And then, in perhaps the dumbest production decision I’ve ever seen in WWE, the camera stays on Reigns’ face as AJ STYLES makes his debut at #3. Like literally, the camera just locks in on Reigns as the crowd freaks out. They even posted a different cut of this on the WWE YouTube page because it was such a stupid visual. Thanks to the entrance taking forever, we only have time for AJ to not be able to hit the Styles Clash and a Samoan drop planting AJ.

Tyler Breeze is in at #4 and the fans are COMPLETELY behind AJ, which isn’t all that surprising. Breeze scores with a few right hands before a pretty unnecessary double team gets rid of him. Curtis Axel (with the WAY too over Social Outcasts) is in at #5 to send AJ into the buckle, earning himself some forearms to the face. Reigns gets back up and the Outcasts are beaten down until AJ clotheslines Axel out (JBL: “The chains are back on.”). Chris Jericho is in at #6 and we’ve got a snappy triple threat going here.

AJ gets knocked down and Reigns is sent into the post, leaving Styles to have to fight out of the Walls. Kane is in at #7 and Cole is WAY too fast to call him the greatest performer in the Rumble’s history. Wouldn’t it have helped if he had actually WON THE THING a time or two Cole? Styles goes right after the monster but gets kicked down and all four head to a corner until Goldust is in at #8. Not a lot happens here other than the fans chanting for AJ even more because he debuted as a star, which only a handful of people get to do. Ryback is in at #9 and gets to clean house without eliminating anyone.

AJ clotheslines Reigns in the corner to another big pop and it’s Kofi Kingston in at #10 (with New Day staying at ringside) so we can just start the clock for the big save. At the moment we have Reigns, Styles, Jericho, Kane, Goldust, Ryback and Kingston. AJ comes off the top to hit Jericho and it’s Titus O’Neil in at #11. Styles and Jericho take backbreakers and Goldust is tossed. Kofi almost gets rid of Reigns and is somehow even more popular than he’s been all night.

R-Truth is in at #12 and of course he pulls out a ladder and climbs up to retrieve….nothing. I forgot how much I enjoyed Truth’s confused gimmick. Kane pulls him down and tosses him out before throwing the ladder out as a bonus. A clothesline puts Kofi over the top and right onto Big E.’s shoulders for the big save. Eh not as good as some I’ve seen but you can’t have a classic every year. Luke Harper is in at #13 and here are Vince and the League of Nations to pull Roman to the floor (under the ropes of course). The champ is sent into the steps and kicked in the face by multiple members of the team.

This goes on so long that Stardust comes in at #14. Rusev splashes Reigns through the table as we have NO IDEA what is going on in the ring during all this. While we were gone, Jericho eliminated Kingston which was of course ignored by the announcers. Now for the stupid part: Vince and the Nation JUST LEAVES.

Like, they don’t throw him inside and then back out. They don’t pay someone off to get rid of Reigns. They don’t do anything but leave while Reigns is taken out on a stretcher. You would think Vince would have learned his lesson from Steve Austin in 1999 but he’s a heel so this is just really stupid instead of head caving in stupid. Big Show comes in at #15 and eliminates Titus and Ryback, giving us a lineup of Reigns (being taken out), Styles, Jericho, Kane, Harper, Stardust and Show. Reigns is now walking in front of the stretcher, making this even less of a good idea.

Styles escapes a chokeslam and it’s Neville in at #16. The rapid fire kicks stagger some people as Reigns is shown WALKING TO THE BACK UNDER HIS OWN POWER. What a hero he certainly is. Braun Strowman is in at #17 and hopefully some people are about to be tossed. Strowman casually eliminates Kane and has the showdown with Big Show. The standing choke (what a stupid move) knocks Show out and Strowman eliminates him a few seconds later.

A limping Kevin Owens is in at #18 and that’s good for one heck of a pop. Styles is there to meet him and you know the fans are into that. Neville throws AJ to the apron and Kevin adds a superkick to get rid of Styles, making himself a full on heel once again. Dean Ambrose is in at #19 and Owens is waiting on him to keep up the brawl from earlier. Since there’s nothing like a Royal Rumble for the World Title going on, let’s look at the Reigns beatdown from earlier.

Sami Zayn is in at #20 for a main roster cameo and of course he goes after Owens in a slugout. Kevin is gone in a hurry and we’ve got Reigns (not in the ring), Harper, Stardust, Jericho, Zayn, Ambrose, Neville and Strowman. Erick Rowan joins the field at #21 as the Wyatts are strong in this one. Harper and Rowan get together to get rid of Stardust and Neville as Strowman chokes Jericho out.

Mark Henry is in at #22 and is eliminated by the Wyatts in less than a minute. Strowman tosses Sami leaving Ambrose and Jericho to fight the monsters. Cole: “I don’t see any help coming anytime soon.” The clock is ticking down as he says this so you know it’s going to be someone big. As you might expect, Brock Lesnar is in at #23 and the place just goes NUTS.

It’s time for some suplexes with Harper and Rowan flying across the ring (not eliminated). It takes three clotheslines to drop Strowman and there goes Rowan. Harper takes a German suplex but Brock can’t suplex Strowman. Now THAT is a rub. Braun goes shoulder first into the post and another clothesline puts him down. Jack Swagger is in at #24 and lasts about fifteen seconds before Lesnar gets rid of him. More suplexes abound as Lesnar is rapidly running out of things to do.

The Miz is in at #25, giving us Reigns (you know the drill by now), Jericho, Harper, Strowman, Ambrose, Lesnar and Miz, who walks around for a bit before going in to face Brock. He actually gets on commentary and threatens to turn Disney World into Mizney World. Harper takes another German suplex and Strowman gets shouldered in the corner. That’s enough to get rid of Harper and Alberto Del Rio is in at #26. Alberto and Dean double team Lesnar in the corner and are promptly launched across the ring. Some clotheslines get rid of Strowman and the fans are VERY pleased.

Bray Wyatt gets lucky #27 and the other three Wyatts all get back in to pummel Brock. Brock tosses the three eliminated guys out again and suplexes Bray but Harper saves the F5 with a kick to the chest (or face if you’re Cole). Unlike Vince and the League (who did almost the same thing earlier), Bray is smart enough to ELIMINATE BROCK, who responds by……calmly walking away instead of, you know, breaking people in half and making a throw rug out of their entrails.

Dolph Ziggler is in at #28 and it’s FINALLY time for Miz to get in. A Skull Crushing Finale plants Dolph but Miz can’t put him out. Sheamus is in at #29 but Reigns jumps him in the aisle, over twenty four minutes after he left and over HALF AN HOUR after the beatdown started. Naturally he’s booed out of the building but still manages to get rid of Del Rio. I get that they’re trying to repeat the 1999 Royal Rumble and ignoring the fact that they’re copying the worst Rumble of all time, but there’s a big stretch between the biggest star of all time and Roman Reigns.

Anyway Roman fights Bray for a bit and it’s HHH in at #30 for one of the most obvious “swerves” in recent history. The final group is Reigns, Jericho, Ambrose, Wyatt, Ziggler, Sheamus and HHH, who gets a HUGE pop because the fans have a way out of Reigns winning the whole thing. Why the announcers have HHH stats despite him being A COMPLETE SURPRISE isn’t clear but we’ll chalk it up to the regular way of making it clear that this is entirely staged.

HHH and Reigns do the big staredown and the top heel is suddenly the big hero because that’s how little people care about Reigns. Ziggler charges into a Pedigree like a goof and Wyatt takes a spear so Reigns can have equal power. The facebuster looks to set up a Pedigree on Reigns but Sheamus and Ambrose throw them both to the apron. Jericho bulldogs Bray down and hits a Lionsault but takes a Zig Zag. A superkick can’t knock HHH off the apron and he gets back in to eliminate Ziggler a few seconds later.

Bray and HHH have a very interesting staredown which isn’t likely to go anywhere. Sheamus saves HHH from Sister Abigail and Bray is tossed. Dean and Sheamus fight for a bit until Jericho dives on Ambrose. A Codebreaker puts HHH down but Dean eliminates Jericho to get us down to four. Dean eats a Brogue Kick but sidesteps a charge to get rid of Sheamus, followed by HHH eliminating Reigns to the pop of the night.

So we’re down to Ambrose vs. HHH and Reigns stays on the floor instead out helping his buddy due to a combination of stupidity, honor and plot convenience. The rebound lariat (which Cole calls, I kid you not, the Wacky Line) has HHH in trouble and Dean sends him to the apron, only to be backdropped to the floor to make HHH the winner and champion at 1:01:42.

Rating: A-. This one took a good while to get going but once Reigns left, everything picked up. That’s where everything starts falling apart. This match is all about Reigns and the problem is very simple: people don’t seem to like him. It says a lot that Jericho lasted 51 minutes and Reigns officially went 58 though only one of them needed half an hour of rest. That right there is proof positive that Reigns probably isn’t going to be get cheered most of the time. This made him look very lame and that’s one of the worst things you can do to a star. Having him WALK OUT OF THE ARENA was just horrible and the worst possible idea.

The rest of the match was pretty awesome though as you had everyone fighting over the title. Unfortunately there are some major holes, such as Brock just walking away and having to wait for Reigns to come back. It’s not the best Rumble of all time as Reigns loomed over the whole thing but having the title on the line was a great idea and something I wish they did more often than every twenty four years. Give us some better options for the possible winner and ANYTHING other than Reigns vs. HHH as the big story and this is one of the best of all time.

HHH and family celebrate as fireworks take us out.

Overall Rating: A. This was a one match show and anything else worth watching on the show (such as the opener) was going to be more than enough to make this awesome. While it wound up setting the stage for the worst Wrestlemania in a long time, at least we have an awesome Royal Rumble to get us there. WWE had a lot of potential at this point, especially considering all the injuries they had at the time. It’s a strong Rumble, assuming you ignore the completely backwards reactions for Reigns.

Ratings Comparison

Mark Henry/Jack Swagger vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Darren Young/Damien Sandow vs. Ascension

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens

Original: B

Redo: B+

New Day vs. Usos

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto

Original: C

Redo: C+

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch:

Original: C-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: A-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: A

What was up with me hating the women like that?

Here’s the original rating if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/01/24/royal-rumble-2016-this-rumble-game-thing/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 2016
Date: January 24, 2016
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s time to start the Road to Wrestlemania and it’s never started on this hot of a note. This year it’s all about the World Title as Roman Reigns is defending the title in the Royal Rumble itself for the first time ever. That leaves a lot of possible options open and with Reigns starting at #1, there could be a lot of drama by the end. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Darren Young/Damien Sandow vs. Ascension vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Mark Henry/Jack Swagger

One fall to a finish and the winning team gets spots in the Rumble. Swagger and Young get things going but it’s quickly off to Henry as the fans want Sandow. That changes into a “HEY! WE WANT SOME SANDOW!” chants and that’s exactly what they get, including the Wind-Up Elbow for two on Jack. Konnor tags himself in and it’s a big four way standoff as we take a break.

Back with Swagger holding Konnor in a chinlock but D-Von tags himself in, only to get stomped down in the corner. Konnor puts D-Von in a chinlock as the fans want Sexual Chocolate. D-Von avoids a charge and it’s a double tag to Bubba and Viktor with the former cleaning house. A Rock Bottom gets two on Viktor and Young takes What’s Up, meaning it’s table time. Actually scratch that as a 3D gets two on Viktor with Swagger making a fast save. Henry splashes D-Von and covers Viktor for the pin and the Rumble spots at 7:58.

Rating: D+. This was fine and the right team won. There’s no point in putting a thrown together team or either regular team in there so go with the two former World Champions. Neither of them have a chance of winning but at least they add a bit more prestige to the lineup. The match was just there but that’s all it was supposed to be.

Vince and Stephanie arrive before the opening video with Vince saying (while stooping down to be on JoJo’s height) they’re going to give Reigns an opportunity to do something unheard of tonight. Vince loves this night, almost as much as he loves himself. Pretty pointless scene but good night Vince is a ball of energy.

The opening video focuses on the statues before going into a regular video all about Reigns being up against the entire roster tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is challenging in his rematch from TLC and this is last man standing. It’s a brawl to start with Owens taking an early bulldog to send him outside. Dean sends him over the announcers’ table with a suicide dive with Cole being wiped out by Kevin. Owens hits the champ in the ribs with an iPad so Dean whips him into the steps for four. It’s already kendo stick time and Cole is suddenly a huge Ambrose fan.

Owens comes back with a Cannonball to drive Ambrose through the barricade for a nine. They head inside and the fans sound like they’re mainly on Owens’ side. The backsplash keeps Dean in trouble and it’s time to throw in a bunch of chairs. A chair to the back drops Ambrose again but Owens has a seat instead of following up. The Rebound Lariat puts Owens down but Dean has to counter the Pop Up Powerbomb with a backdrop through the chairs.

Kevin bails to the floor but suckers Dean in for some hard whips into the steps and a seven count. It’s table time (fan: “I feel like you’re wasting your time right now!”) as Dean is laying on the apron, which should earn him a count. Owens stacks up two tables on top of each other in front of a post but gets a chair pelted at his face. It hangs around his neck so Dean starts punching the chair until it falls off. That’s not the brightest thing in the world champ.

The Pop Up Powerbomb is countered with a hurricanrana and Dean grabs Dirty Deeds for eight. Dirty Deeds onto the chair has Owens in trouble but he rolls outside and onto his feet to break the count before collapsing. Dean loads up another table at ringside (“HEY! WE WANT SOME TABLES!”) and drops the top rope elbow for a double eight count. We get yet another table in the ring and they trade shouts of I HATE YOU.

Ambrose loads up a superplex through the table but Owens reverses into the fisherman’s superplex for the big crash. They’re both back up again so Owens grabs a hard Pop Up Powerbomb for nine and a half, only to have Dean collapse at 9.6. Frustration sets in for Owens as he loads up all the chairs and goes up, allowing Dean to shove him off the top and through the double tables at ringside for the win to retain at 20:21.

Rating: B. Good but certainly not great last man standing match. The double tables were clearly going to be the ending and it was just a matter of time instead of a big surprise at the end. It was good enough though and all it needed to be, though I was hoping Owens would get the title back. However, it leaves the door open for a big match at Wrestlemania which is the important thing.

We recap the destruction of Francesca the Trombone. That’s a really odd statement if you’re reading this a long time from now. In other words it’s time for the Tag Team Titles.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos

New Day (Kofi/Big E.) is defending and Kofi asks for a moment of silence, allowing Woods to debut Francesca II. Yes Xavier will miss Francesca but he has, ahem, needs. As for tonight, one of them will also win the Rumble because 2016 will be the year of all gold everything. Thankfully the Usos have the different color boots on again.

Kofi and Jimmy get things going with Kofi missing his reverse leapfrog, allowing Jimmy to throw him down. It’s off to Jey as we have a discussion of Byron’s street cred. Big E. comes in and sends Jey shoulder first into the post to take over. It’s back to Kofi to pummel away in the corner as Woods rants about being in the match as well. The fans want Woods to play Francesca but Woods says not so fast.

Both guys try superkicks (shocking I know) but Kofi pulls Jey down by the leg so Big E. can get in a splash. A slingshot stomp crushes Jey again but he enziguris Kofi off the apron and out to the floor for a nice crash. Jimmy gets the tag and starts cleaning house with a Samoan Drop and Whisper in the Wind getting two on Big E. Everything breaks down and Big E. knocks Jimmy off the top, setting up a belly to belly for two of his own.

Jey dives off the apron (out of the WWE Universe according to Cole) to take Kofi out, followed by Big E. spearing Jimmy through the apron in an always cool looking spot. Back in and the Midnight Hour is broken up, allowing Jimmy to superkick Kofi into a very quiet Superfly Splash. Woods makes the save though, earning himself a suicide dive from Jey. Back in and Jey superkicks Kofi down but misses a blind tag to Big E., allowing the Big Ending to pull Jey out of the air for the Big Ending to retain the titles at 10:54.

Rating: C+. This picked up a bit at the end but the tag division is at such a weak point right now that it’s hard to get excited about a match we’ve seen a few times already. I don’t know if they think the Usos getting the titles back is going to be a big deal but this never felt important or really anything more than just a regular title defense.

We recap the Highlight Reel from Monday and the ensuing chaos.

The Wyatts talk about slaughtering the Beast and the Chosen One. Tonight they slaughter them all on their way to the title. Then he really will have the whole world in his hands. Run.

US Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto

Del Rio is defending and this is the rubber match because WWE can’t count to four. They’ve traded the title in recent weeks with Del Rio’s League of Nations teammates beating Kalisto down three days earlier on Smackdown. Kalisto hammers away in the corner to start but gets kicked in the chest for two. Del Rio rains down some right hands in the corner but gets kicked in the back to knock him out to the floor.

We get another suicide dive to take the champ out but he knocks Kalisto off the top with an enziguri. A chinlock gives both guys a breather before the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker drops Kalisto again. They head outside again so Kalisto can snap off a hurricanrana. Byron: “Kalisto looked up to guys like Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero.” JBL: “He looks up to everybody Byron. He’s short!”

Del Rio whips him into the barricade and it’s time to go for the mask, which you know is enough to start a comeback. That’s quickly cut off by the low superkick for two but Del Rio misses another running enziguri. A very nice tornado DDT gets two for Kalisto and there’s the corkscrew crossbody. The hurricanrana driver gets two more but Kalisto takes too long going up, allowing Del Rio to reverse superplex to connect for two.

They botch a sunset bomb but Kalisto turns into a quick rollup for two more anyway in a close enough save. The top rope double stomp misses and a springboard Salida Del Sol gets two more with Alberto grabbing the bottom rope. Kalisto tries a springboard but lands on two knees for a unique counter. Del Rio would rather take the turnbuckle pad off though, only to be sent face first into the steel. A quick Salida Del Sol gives Kalisto the title back at 11:30.

Rating: C. This didn’t have nearly the surprise and shock factor that the first title change did but at least they got it back on Kalisto for a good moment. He’s more interesting as champion by default after Del Rio’s boring time with the belt so why not do something here to give us a nice moment? Another good match as this show is on a roll so far.

Kickoff recap.

Paul Heyman comes in to see Stephanie and the disgust is quickly on. Heyman talks about Brock winning the title tonight with just ten weeks before we go to Wrestlemania. He promises that Brock will eliminate the entire Wyatt Family tonight but all Stephanie cares about is Reigns being eliminated. If Brock gets rid of him, Stephanie will gradually renegotiate Lesnar’s deal, which is all Heyman wanted.

Ad for Edge and Christian’s Network show.

Fastlane ad.

We recap Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch. They were friends but Charlotte freaked out after losing to Becky, triggering a heel turn as Charlotte wanted to be more like her dad. Becky tricked Ric Flair into setting this up by implying that Charlotte was a coward.

Divas Title: Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending. Becky takes her to the mat to start but can’t get the arm this early. An armdrag sends Charlotte into the corner as they’re sprinkling in some Steamboat vs. Flair. The Figure Four doesn’t work so Charlotte cranks on an armbar of her own. The fans are entirely behind Becky here but Charlotte takes over with some good old cheating from her dad, who kisses Becky to distract her.

Back in and a suplex gets two for the champ and we hit the figure four neck lock with Charlotte slamming her face first into the mat. The hold stays on for a long time until Becky fights up with some running clotheslines. Becky forearms out of the Figure Eight and grabs a t-bone suplex for two. The running legdrops set up another t-bone but Charlotte hits a quick spear to take over again.

Becky is sat on top but grabs Charlotte’s arm and rolls into an armbreaker. That’s countered into a pretty impressive powerbomb for two more as Flair’s cheerleading gets louder and louder. Back up and Charlotte baseball slides her dad by mistake, allowing Becky to grab the Disarm-Her. Ric throws his coat onto Becky’s face though to break up the hold (and somehow not draw a DQ). Another spear retains Charlotte’s title at 12:37.

Rating: C-. As usual, the Divas are hurt by too many rest holds and WAY too much Ric Flair. This is getting into the Evolution format from thirteen years ago when it was already old. Not a great match here, which is a shame considering what these two are capable of doing. Just stop with the rest holds and the Ric and things will get better overnight.

Post match Charlotte beats Becky down even more until Sasha Banks comes out (on her own thank goodness)…..and kicks Becky to the floor. Sasha says she wants the title but waits until Ric leaves before putting on the Bank Statement. Somehow Flair doesn’t notice this for a bit, despite the fans going NUTS for it.

Some fans won a tour of the Performance Center from Chex Mix.

Rumble by the Numbers video. Good night they’re stretching the heck out of this.

WWE World Title: Royal Rumble

Roman Reigns is defending and is coming in at #1 with ninety second intervals. The fans instantly boo Reigns to continue their tradition. It’s Rusev in at #2 as we get the final two from last year starting this year. They slug it out to start and Rusev elbows out of a Samoan Drop. There’s a spinwheel kick to stagger the champ and Rusev throws him through the ropes to the floor. That sets up the Apron Boot and a spear to get rid of Rusev quick.

It’s…..AJ STYLES in at #3 and the fans lose their minds at the reveal. Roman looks as stunned as anyone as the announcers acknowledge the internet rumors, which to be fair were on WWE.com. An early Styles Clash attempt doesn’t work so AJ Pele Kicks him, only to have another Clash countered into the Samoan Drop. Tyler Breeze is in at #4 with kicks to both guys as the fans chant for AJ. Breeze can’t get Reigns out so AJ picks him up, only to have Roman punch AJ in the ribs, sending Breeze out to the floor.

Curtis Axel is in at #5 and actually gets in the ring. Axel actually gets the best of it to start but the Outcasts’ interference doesn’t work, allowing AJ to clothesline Axel to the floor. Chris Jericho is in at #6 and goes after Reigns before elbowing AJ down. Reigns is sent shoulder first into the post, leaving AJ to try another Clash on Jericho. That’s countered into a Walls of Jericho attempt but Reigns makes the save. Kane is in at #7 and Cole actually calls him arguably the greatest Rumble performer of all time. You know, minus the whole WINNING THE MATCH thing.

Kane kicks AJ in the face before going after the other two as things settle down. Goldust is in at #8 and Kane is the only person on his feet. Everyone gets into the same corner as the fans are still chanting for AJ. Ryback is in at #9 and WOW the fans are not happy. Kane and Jericho form an unlikely team (time heals all hot coffee wounds) to put Ryback on the apron but not to the floor. Kofi Kingston is in at #10 and goes after Jericho. AJ hits the springboard forearm on Jericho but gets dropped to the mat for his efforts.

Titus O’Neil is in at #11 and does the usual cleaning house spot, including eliminating Goldust. We’ve got Reigns, Styles, Ryback, Jericho, O’Neil, Kane and Kingston in at the moment and it’s R-Truth in at #12. That means it’s time for a ladder but there’s no briefcase to grab. Kane gets rid of him in a few seconds and throws Kofi out as well, only to have him land on Big E.’s shoulders for the save of the year. Kofi stops to have a Coke and it’s Luke Harper in at #13.

Cue the League of Nations and Vince to pulls Reigns to the floor for a beating, which is likely the way to keep him out of the match until much later. The camera ignores everything going on in the ring as the beating goes on, continuing a long stretch of bad camera work tonight. Stardust is in at #14 as Rusev splashes Reigns through the French announce table. We’ve been away from the ring for the better part of two minutes at this point.

The camera FINALLY goes back to the ring as the League walks off with a monitor for some reason. Kofi was eliminated off camera and it’s Big Show in at #15, giving us Show, Reigns (down on the floor), Styles, Jericho, Harper, Stardust, O’Neil, Ryback and Kane. Titus and Ryback are dumped by Big Show as a stretcher comes out for Reigns. Neville is in at #16 and Reigns gets off the stretcher but goes to the back anyway. We finally see that it was Jericho who eliminated Kofi earlier in the match.

Braun Strowman is in at #17 and runs people over before breaking Kane’s chokeslam attempt. Strowman dumps Kane with ease and it’s time for the showdown with Big Show. Another chokeslam attempt is broken up and Strowman chokes him out for another easy elimination. So the old giants are already out and we’re not even to #20 yet. That’s quite the surprise. Kevin Owens is in at #18, limping to the ring to sell the injuries from earlier.

We’ve got Jericho, Strowman, Harper, Stardust, Styles, Owens and Neville in the ring at the moment with Reigns in the back. Kevin goes right for AJ for the slugout but Neville breaks it up. The Clash is broken up again as Owens superkicks Styles and throws him out for a bit of a surprise. Dean Ambrose is in at #19 and goes right for Owens as you would expect. The fans start cheering for AJ as he leaves and we recap the League beating Reigns down earlier. Sami Zayn is in at #20 for a big surprise and goes right for Owens, tossing him in pretty short order.

Erick Rowan is in at #21 to give us three Wyatts with Bray still to come. The Wyatts get together to dump Stardust and Neville before Strowman starts choking Jericho. Mark Henry is in at #22 and Strowman slams him with ease. The three Wyatts dump Mark about ten seconds after he got in and get rid of Sami as well. Strowman chokes Jericho some more and it’s Lesnar in at #23. Brock goes right for Jericho and Strowman before suplexing anyone he can find.

We get Brock vs. Braun and a BIG forearm puts Strowman on his back. Lesnar clotheslines Rowan out and German suplexes Harper. Strowman elbows out of one but misses a charge into the post. Another clothesline drops Strowman and Brock is looking winded. Jack Swagger is in at #24 and charges right into an F5 for an elimination in fifteen seconds. We’ve got Lesnar, Strowman, Harper Ambrose and Jericho in the ring.

Miz is in at #25 and goes to commentary where he promises to turn Suplex City into Mizney World. Lesnar gets rid of Harper and it’s Alberto Del Rio in at #26. Brock throws him down with ease before clotheslining Braun a few times for the elimination. Del Rio, Jericho and Ambrose gang up on Lesnar and it’s Bray Wyatt (Cole makes it sound like a random Uso) in at #27. The rest of the Wyatts come back for the gang attack but Brock shrugs them off like the nothings they are.

It’s time for Bray vs. Brock and Wyatt is quickly suplexed. Harper saves Bray from the F5 though and we get a big gang beatdown. Sister Abigail allows the rest of the Family to dump Lesnar and set up a Wrestlemania match. Dolph Ziggler is in at #28 and starts cleaning house with his usual stuff. Miz finally gets in the ring and plants Dolph with the Skull Crushing Finale. It’s not enough for an elimination though as Jericho goes after Miz until Sheamus is in at #29. Reigns decks him in the aisle and gets back in to eliminate Miz and Del Rio.

Bray is up to go after Roman as Sheamus hasn’t gotten in the ring yet. The Superman Punch decks Wyatt and the booing is all over the place again. Reigns is the only man standing and indeed it’s HHH in at #30 to give us HHH, Reigns, Sheamus (on the floor) Jericho, Wyatt, Ambrose and Ziggler as the final group.

HHH and Reigns have their big staredown but Ziggler has to be Pedigreed. Bray gets speared and it’s back to the staredown with all seven still in. They slug it out with Reigns countering the Pedigree. Sheamus gets in and throws Reigns to the ropes before it’s time for the parade of finishers. Bray gets a Codebreaker and Lionsault but Jericho can’t put Reigns out. HHH sidesteps a charging Dolph for an elimination and we’re down to six.

Bray and HHH have a bizarre staredown but HHH points to Reigns. That’s not cool with Bray who punches the boss in the jaw, only to have Sister Abigail broken up with a Brogue Kick. HHH and Sheamus put Bray out but are both sent to the apron by Reigns. Ambrose takes Sheamus down with a neckbreaker but Jericho drops Dean with a high cross body. A Codebreaker drops HHH but Dean throws Chris out to give us Ambrose, HHH, Reigns and Sheamus (he’s always there near the end) for the final four.

Sheamus misses a Brogue Kick and gets Superman Punched to the floor, only to have HHH throw Reigns out for a big ovation. We’re down to Ambrose vs. HHH which is a really surprising final pairing. The fans are all behind Ambrose (duh) and there’s an early Rebound Lariat (which Cole actually calls, I kid you not, the Wacky Line). The Pedigree is broken up and Dean sends him to the apron but charges into a knee. HHH backdrops him out and wins the title at 1:02:45.

Rating: A-. That was exhausting. You kind of knew HHH was going to win but it’s still the right call as it sets up Reigns vs. HHH at some point, hopefully next month instead of in Dallas. I really liked the fact that they didn’t have HHH vs. Reigns as the final two as it would have been way too easy. Ambrose wasn’t going to win of course but it was nice to have the false hope instead of just going with the obvious.

The rest of the match was awesome though I have no idea what they’re thinking if they want to do Brock vs. Braun. It was almost painful watching them same spots over and over as Brock can only clothesline and knee him in the back so many times. Lesnar was kind of all over the place in this as he really doesn’t fit the wrecking machine mold like you would expect him to.

It was a good enough night for surprises with AJ (I had forgotten he was in by the end though that’s not a criticism) and Sami, who hopefully is main roster bound soon, as the main names. It’s probably best that they didn’t do the legends and such in a match for the title so well done all around. Really good Rumble and easily the best in years, at least partially because of the options near the end. I know I say that a lot but they’re so important in a match like this.

A very quick celebration takes us out as it’s 11pm.

Overall Rating: A. Oh yeah this was great. The Rumble is a tricky show as it’s all about the one big match and it more than delivered this year. On top of that though we had four good to really good matches for a strong undercard. I had a great time with this show, though I’m really curious to see what they have planned for Wrestlemania at this point. HHH vs. Reigns really isn’t a strong enough headliner though I’m not sure what else they have with so many injuries. Still though, great stuff here and an awesome show.

Results

Dean Ambrose b. Kevin Owens – Ambrose shoved Owens through two tables

New Day b. Usos – Big Ending to Jey

Kalisto b. Alberto Del Rio – Salida Del Sol

Charlotte b. Becky Lynch – Spear

HHH won the Royal Rumble last eliminating Dean Ambrose

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Main Event
Date: January 19, 2017
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Austin Aries, Byron Saxton

I’m getting to the point where these shows amuse me more than anything else. It’s getting fun to see what kind of a boring match they can throw out there week to week and manage to get even less interesting every time. Maybe we can get some more Darren Young highlights since this might as well be his show. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Alicia Fox vs. Dana Brooke

We get a long recap of Fox’s issues with Noam Dar and Cedric Alexander. Brooke immediately starts with the pushups (Byron: “Rocky would be proud.”) so Fox stretches on the top and poses a bit. A kick to the chest sends Brooke outside so Alicia calls her a chicken. Uh, right. Back in and Dana chokes in the corner before sending Fox into the barricade. It’s off to a bodyscissors for a bit before Fox gets in a tilt-a-whirl slam. Fox slingshots in and despite what looks like a missed spot, the ax kick ends Brooke at 3:42.

Rating: C-. I’m actually something of an Alicia Fox fan so I can always go for her winning a match, assuming there’s no screaming involved at the same time. Brooke has fallen off a cliff lately with the Charlotte partnership seemingly over. She really needs ring time though and the rest of it will come soon enough.

Jimmy Snuka tribute video.

From Raw:

Here’s Roman Reigns to some of the loudest booing I’ve ever heard outside of a major city. Reigns can’t complain about getting beaten down when he’s outnumbered in a fight. He knows he lost the US Title but now he’s off to get the Universal Title at the Royal Rumble. Just in case you needed more proof that the US Title meant nothing on Roman. This brings out Paul Heyman who is almost immediately cut off by the GOLDBERG chants. Heyman gives us a spoiler for the Rumble but here are Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho to interrupt.

Jericho loves the idea of the Royal Rumble because no matter who wins, they’ll both wind up at Wrestlemania with both titles. Owens seems to agree but here’s Seth Rollins to cut them off. That means more promises of winning before Braun Strowman comes and stares Reigns down.

Strowman doesn’t say a word before Lesnar himself comes out. Sami Zayn runs in through the crowd and cleans house, including a Helluva Kick to put Braun outside. Brock throws everyone else down and is left alone with Sami, meaning it’s another German suplex for Zayn. Lesnar tells Braun to bring it on but Strowman drops to the floor, leaving Reigns to Superman Punch Brock. That earns him an F5 and Lesnar stands tall.

And from Raw:

Here’s Charlotte to discuss the winning strategy that has kept her undefeated on pay per view. By that she means laughing at the idea of Bayley beating her at the Royal Rumble. We see some pictures of Bayley as a kid meeting people like John Cena, Ivory, Rob Van Dam and Bret Hart from years ago.

Charlotte even has some poetry from what looks like middle school while Charlotte was training and getting scholarship offers. We even get a video of Bayley reading her essay on wanting to be a professional wrestler. Charlotte cuts the video and reads it herself until Bayley runs out to chase her off. Bayley calls this unnecessary so Charlotte says she’s just like the average fan.

If Charlotte wants to bring up all these stories, Bayley has a story for her. She didn’t have a father who could just make a phone call and get her into WWE. What she did have is a father who would spend everything he had to get her a ticket to every show in San Jose because that was all she ever wanted to do. Bayley even has a new poem for Charlotte: Roses are red, violets are blue, at Royal Rumble, I will defeat you.

Darren Young vs. Epico

This show just doesn’t get sarcasm. Young takes him into a chinlock to start and they hit the mat before Darren gets two off a backslide. A rolling forearm puts Epico on the floor but Bob Backlund sends him back inside. Darren loads up the belly to back on the apron but Primo trips him up, sending Young arm first into the apron, causing a legitimate injury and the match is stopped at around 2:45.

Kurt Angle Hall of Fame video.

We look at the end of Monday’s main event and the post match brawl with Reigns being put through a table to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade as the first match was watchable but the second was called off due to situations beyond the wrestlers’ control. Hopefully Young isn’t seriously hurt but that was a nasty looking crash. It was your normal Main Event with the clips reflecting Raw, which is losing some steam due to the long build towards the Rumble.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Main Event
Date: January 5, 2017
Location: Amalie Arena, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Austin Aries

I’m really curious to see if Main Event trolls us like Raw has been doing in recent weeks. I know we’ll be seeing some Roman Reigns stuff but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be any more interesting here. As usual it’s going to come down to whatever original stuff they have to offer here and that can be all over the place. Let’s get to it.

Ariya Daivari vs. Lince Dorado

So much for this week. Lince flips out of a wristlock to start and sends Ariya outside before grabbing an armbar of his own. Daivari stomps him down in the corner, only to get caught by a spinning crossbody out of the corner. It’s too early for the shooting star press though and Dorado is sent head first into the post. The Magic Carpetless Ride (frog splash) ends Dorado at 4:29.

Rating: D+. If they could find two less interesting cruiserweights, I’m really not sure I want to see them. This was a really average match that was pulled down by how dull both guys really are. Neither is interesting but for some reason they both have jobs and regularly appear on TV. I know you need jobbers but could you find someone better for TV matches?

Video on Sami Zayn vs. Braun Strowman.

To Raw for the first time.

Sami Zayn vs. Braun Strowman

Last man standing, meaning Sami is about to die. Sami gets in a jab and tries some kendo stick shots but Braun just breaks it over his leg. Another stick gets about the same treatment and the moonsault off the barricade is pulled out of the air. A few rams into the post have Strowman staggered until he punches Sami to block the diving DDT. Some clotheslines drop Sami, whose offense is shrugged off over and over again.

Back with Sami being sent off the ramp as the match goes out of the arena, meaning the fans can’t see. As you might expect, this earns some widespread booing. Sami finally sends Braun into the equipment cases so Strowman throws him on top of them. Strowman THROWS A CASE AT HIM and thankfully it doesn’t cause a bad case of death.

Sami cracks him in the back with a chair as they stagger back into the arena. That just earns Zayn a toss onto the stage, followed by a whip into the screen. Zayn chairs him again and Braun is staggered, followed by a crossbody to put Strowman through some tables for a six count but Strowman is reeling.

Sami swings again but Braun grabs the chair and drags him up onto the ramp in another scary power display. The powerslam on the floor gives Braun a seven so Strowman just unloads on him with knees to the head and right hands. Another powerslam on the floor ends Sami at 15:48.

Rating: B. I had a lot more fun with this one than I was expecting to as they gave Sami all the offense they realistically could. It’s also a good sign that Strowman is rapidly getting the hang of wrestling like a monster instead of just standing around and doing power stuff. They beat the heck out of each other here and Strowman selling yet still shrugging the offense off was done quite well.

Sami does a stretcher job but Strowman turns it over.

Back to Raw again.

US Title: Roman Reigns vs. Chris Jericho

Owens is banned from ringside, Reigns is defending and loses the title if he gets counted out or disqualified. The champ runs Jericho over to start as the fans are split on Reigns. A middle rope dropkick gets two for Jericho so Reigns comes back with his string of clotheslines. Reigns tries the apron dropkick but crashes into the post instead, giving Jericho a near countout as we take a break.

Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock and hitting his modified belly to back suplex for two. The Superman Punch is blocked but the Lionsault hits knees. The other finishers are broken up until Jericho grabs the Walls. That lasts as long as you would expect the Walls to last until Jericho goes up top again, only to dive into the Superman Punch for a near fall.

Another spear is broken up and Jericho takes off a turnbuckle pad. That sets up the old Eddie Guerrero grab the belt and pretend to get hit with it spot. The referee doesn’t buy it so instead the Codebreaker gets two. Jericho goes into the exposed buckle and the spear retains the title at 13:06.

Rating: C+. The ending actually deflated me and that’s not a good thing about the top face on a show. There’s just no reason for Reigns to keep the title at this point and everyone has to know it at this point. He’s not helping the title and he doesn’t gain anything by holding it so why keep doing it this way? I mean, other than as a middle finger to the fans who want ANYONE else to hold the title.

Bo Dallas/Darren Young vs. Shining Stars

Epico and Young hit the mat to start before it’s already off to Primo, who walks into a string of slams. A fired up Dallas runs Primo over on the floor and we take a break. Back with Dallas screaming at us to believe in him, allowing the cousins to take over. We get what sounds like a JOBBERS chant as Primo starts in on the arm. A slingshot legdrop sets up another armbar as Aries suggests a thumb to the eye. Dallas collides with Primo and winds up on the floor as everything breaks down. Primo grabs a rollup on Young and pulls the trunks for the pin at 10:12.

Rating: D. I liked Dallas’ fire but then again I like almost anything he does out there. The Shining Stars are starting to remind me of Lance Storm: they might be technically sound but that doesn’t mean I have any interest in watching what they’re doing. Young continues to be a warm body and that’s why he’s still on Main Event.

One more Raw segment to wrap us up.

It’s time for the Kevin Owens Show with a lawn chair, a table and a man standing in place with a sign over his face. Owens introduces Jericho as his first guest and he’s not happy. See, the fans were chanting for Goldberg just a few minutes ago and that means TAMPA JUST MADE THE LIST.

Jericho has breaking news: he’s the third (sixth) entrant in the Royal Rumble! Owens isn’t pleased but Jericho says no matter what happens, they’re still the champ. Kevin still doesn’t want to do it but he gets cut off by Goldberg’s full entrance. Goldberg throws the chair out of the ring and Jericho isn’t impressed. Jericho: “You know what happens when you destroy the set?” Goldberg: “YEAH! Spear, Jackhammer.”

Owens throws out the rest of the set and the brawl is teased until Paul Heyman breaks it up. He says the Rumble will be elimination, repeat, elimination, repeat but Roman Reigns interrupts as well. That brings Reigns to Lesnar but now it’s Braun coming out to take the mic from a cowering Heyman. Owens and Jericho bail to the floor and Strowman is in the Rumble too. A double spear drops Strowman and posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. What exactly were you expecting out of this one? The show was another slog through the disaster that Raw has become with some very lame original matches to go with it. I really wasn’t feeling this one and I have no idea why I’d want to keep watching this show if it wasn’t so quick with all the recaps.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Main Event
Date: December 9, 2016
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

We’ve had a steady schedule for all of a week now so of course it’s time to change again. This show is now being released on Fridays on Hulu and will be available online a day or so later. If nothing else it’s kind of nice to wait a little bit instead of having the show airing just a day or two after Smackdown. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Darren Young vs. Jinder Mahal

…..no. No no, no no no. NO! How many times can they possibly do THIS SAME MATCH??? Young wristlocks him down to start and we hit the mat with a headlock takeover. Jinder goes after the knee to take over but some cannonballs down onto the leg only get him kicked out to the floor. The Gut Check is broken up but a second attempt is enough to put Mahal away at 5:00.

Rating: D+. Just a simple match but the repetitive nature is just killing the thing. I have no idea who is loving these matches so much but I really question their taste in wrestling. Just find something new already because, even though not a lot of people are watching, these shows have an audience and they deserve a bit more respect.

Back to Raw.

It’s time for the big ending with Charlotte (who has accepted the Iron Man challenge) apologizing to her dad. We see her yelling at Flair (that makes three times tonight) but it was even harder to see Flair raise Sasha’s hand last week. Charlotte says no one can imagine how hard it is to be Ric’s daughter because of how big his legacy really is.

Then last week she saw her dad raise Sasha’s hand and she knew she had failed as his daughter. Flair comes out and hugs her but, of course (that’s a trend tonight) she slaps him in the face. Cue Sasha but Charlotte Alley Oops her face first into the post. Charlotte mocks Flair crying and walks away to end the show.

From Raw again.

Anderson and Gallows vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

The winners get New Day, at ringside here, next week for the titles. Anderson and Gallows go outside and get in New Day’s face to start but the Europeans run them over, sending the cereal flying. Back from a break with Cesaro fighting out of Anderson’s chinlock and escaping the Magic Killer with some help from Sheamus. The hot tag brings Sheamus in for the ten forearms to the chest but everyone winds up on the floor for the brawl with New Day and that’s a no contest at 9:58.

Rating: C. This was fine though the triple threat for next week was obvious. I’m really not sure who wins the thing but it’s a cool feeling to have a match where I don’t know the ending. The match should be fun and I really could see it going either way. This match was just a means to an end and that’s fine.

Bo Dallas vs. Sin Cara

Another rematch. Cara starts fast by knocking him outside for a suicide dive. Back in and Bo runs the masked one over and implores that we Bo-lieve in him. Cara’s moonsault seems to hit knees and he sends Bo into the ropes while trying to throw Dallas outside. We take a break and come back with Cara failing to suplex Bo out to the floor.

Dallas’ belly to back suplex does work but Cara throws him into the ropes for another crash. A Lionsault press gets two for Cara and a middle rope Regal Roll gets the same. Cara fires off some knees until the referee pulls him away, allowing Bo to grab a rollup (and maybe some tights) for the pin at 10:40.

Rating: C+. This was much better than I was expecting with both guys actually working a lot harder than you would have guessed. Dallas has a place on the roster but he needs the right character to really pull it off. I mean, he’s beating a main roster guy here but that doesn’t count because Cara is just a lowly cruiserweight and therefore meant to be beaten right?

Back to Raw one last time to wrap things up.

US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Roman Reigns

Roman is defending and is actually driven into the corner to start. The Superman Punch is countered with a dropkick and a clothesline puts the champ on the floor. A big dive to the floor takes Reigns out again and we take a break. Back with Reigns caught in a chinlock for a bit before being tossed out to the floor.

The Lionsault only gets two and the fans are getting WAY into Jericho all over again. A Samoan drop and Superman Punch get two on Jericho and the Codebreaker is countered into a sitout powerbomb. Roman goes shoulder first into the post though and we hit the Walls. As Reigns grabs the rope, cue Owens for a superkick. The Codebreaker gets two on Reigns but the Canadian argument sets up the spear to retain the title at 13:43.

Rating: B. Is there a reason why Reigns needs the US Title? Someone answer that for me. His feud is over the World Title and he doesn’t have a long term challenger but he’s still US Champion with no real prospects for a title feud anytime soon. Jericho vs. Rollins over the US Title could elevate the belt but Reigns is keeping it anyway. I don’t think I need to explain this one being good as Jericho is still on fire.

Overall Rating: C-. Just a show here really and that’s mainly due to how stale Raw feels at the moment. With almost nothing interesting going on Monday nights, it’s kind of hard to get into a recap show with a decent featured match. I’m already missing the old Main Event format and again, that’s just because Raw’s roster isn’t as interesting or entertaining.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Superstars
Date: November 18, 2016
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves

It’s another week of Superstars and unfortunately that means another week of highlights from a Raw that wasn’t all that interesting in the first place. Main Event has completely pulled away from Superstars for its original content so hopefully things can get a bit closer to even this week. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Titus O’Neil vs. Curtis Axel

And so much for that idea. At least we don’t have to put up with that Titus Brand stuff on Raw anymore. Curtis takes him into the corner and dances away before the referee annoyingly tries to break up a brawl, allowing Titus to score with a big boot. We hit the horrible chinlock with Titus talking trash and trying to start an AXELMANIA chant. Axel makes his comeback with the necksnap and a running knee to the face for two. Not that it matters as Titus sends him chest first into the buckle, setting up the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 5:30.

Rating: D. That might become my standard rating for all Titus matches. He can talk a decent amount of trash but at some point you have to be able to do more than throw people through the air and do a Sky High. Also, so much for believing in Curtis Axel, who might have been building up towards a small push but now he’s jobbing to Titus. Oh joy indeed.

Off to Raw for the first time.

It’s time for Lesnar and Goldberg as it’s nearly halftime of Monday Night Football. Lesnar slips a bit during his jump to the apron but it’s not bad. There’s a wall of security as Goldberg tells Lesnar to shut up and stay out of this. Heyman gets cut off by the GOLDBERG chants before finally going on about all the people Lesnar has killed. Goldberg cuts him off again to say his name isn’t on that list, only to have the chants start up again. Heyman starts to offer something but Lesnar grabs the mic and tells the fans to shut up.

The offer is for Heyman to find a replacement for Sunday’s match. That means Goldberg takes off his shirt so Lesnar shoves some guards down. Heyman says the beating will be so bad that Goldberg’s son will call Lesnar daddy. The security is quickly dispatched and there’s no one left between them. Lesnar, with one of the palest chests I’ve ever seen on a wrestler, walks away. This was WAY too long but they don’t have a choice because there’s nothing left for them to do on the show.

And then the second.

New Day vs. Seth Rollins/Braun Strowman/Chris Jericho

Jericho and Kofi start things off and that’s not a bad thing. An elbow to the jaw puts Kofi on the mat and it’s quickly off to Woods vs. Rollins with the latter coming in off a chop to the chest. That goes nowhere either as they hit the mat for Seth’s headlock before it’s back to Jericho as New Day takes over. The Warrior splash gets two and Kofi comes back in, only to get slammed by Braun as we take a break.

Back with Braun holding Kofi in a nerve hold before handing it back to Rollins. Some double knees put Seth down but it’s Strowman running cross the ring to kick Big E. in the face. We wind up with Woods kicking Jericho in the back and Strowman plowing through the other two opponents. Woods finally kicks him in the face and forearms Rollins in the jaw. That’s enough for Braun though as it’s a powerslam to end Xavier at 14:06.

Rating: C. This picked up a lot near the end as Woods continues to be great at the last chance offense. Strowman is getting better at being a rampaging monster but he’s still in need of some more experience. I liked the match well enough though and New Day will be fine with a loss like this. That being said, it’s getting harder and harder to care about these one off matches between people with no animosity.

Jinder Mahal vs. Darren Young

Four times. I’ve done this show eight times now and this has been on the card on four occasions. Mahal hides in the corner to start (I’d hide from this match too) until a shoulder block and a jumping seated senton get two. A big boot puts Young on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Mahal choking in the corner and shouting that peace catchphrase that no one has ever caught nor used as a phrase. A chinlock doesn’t go anywhere so Mahal yells at Bob Backlund before putting on another chinlock. See, it’s the yelling that makes it more impressive. Young fights up with some belly to belly suplexes and that belly to back on the apron. Back up and Mahal sends him throat first into the rope, setting up a Regal Cutter for the pin at 11:12.

Rating: D. They’re trolling me. Like, they have to be at this point. Either that or they really do pay absolutely no attention to this show and Mahal and Young just go out there because no one notices what they do every week. Unfortunately that means we have to put up with these two fighting almost every other week despite the fact that neither is interesting. Boring match here and it’s probably a matter of time before they fight again.

A two minute highlight package of the Survivor Series Summit wraps the show up.

Overall Rating: D+. This week, Main Event gave us a good Luke Harper vs. Apollo Crews match and a perfectly watchable Vaudevillains vs. Breezango match. This show gave us the fourth incarnation of a match that hasn’t been interesting yet and another bad Titus O’Neil match. It’s really amazing that Superstars is treated as a wasteland and Main Event is a show with a little effort put in. Another just barely passable show this week and that’s sad given what can be done with something like this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Superstars
Date: November 11, 2016
Location: SSE Hydro, Glasgow, Scotland
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves

Maybe the European version will be more entertaining. If nothing else it should be interesting to see how this week’s Raw looks chopped up into a much shorter version. At this point it’s not like it’s going to be any worse as I really didn’t care for the full edition with the same idea three times in a row. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Neville vs. Titus O’Neil

It wasn’t any good two weeks ago and odds are it’s not going to change here. Neville moonsaults over him to start and scores with a running flip dive out to the floor. Back in and Titus goes back to the really basic power offense (anything else would be too complicated) with the triple backbreakers. Titus: “CHEER FOR HIM NOW!” Ok so he can insult a crowd fairly well. We hit the chinlock (Titus: “I’m firmly in control!”) before another backbreaker has Neville in trouble. Back up and Titus charges into a boot in the corner, setting up a Red Arrow for the pin at 4:57.

Rating: D. I actually liked Titus’ talking here but they weren’t hiding the fact that Neville was all flips. These two just do not have chemistry together but that might be due to Titus not being very good. Granted it doesn’t help that Neville doesn’t have much to his arsenal aside from the same stuff he’s done for years.

From Raw, here’s the video on Goldberg vs. Lesnar from the former’s perspective. Still good stuff.

And now, the Lesnar version.

Emmalina video.

Bo Dallas vs. Darren Young

This isn’t exactly a surprise during election week. There’s no Backlund in Young’s corner, mean there’s no one to yell at Bo as he bails to the floor early on. A headlock doesn’t get Bo very far so Young takes him to the ground for an armbar. It’s too early for a crossface chickenwing though and we take a break. Back with Darren being sent into the barricade for nothing close to a countout. We hit back to back chinlocks for a bit before Young’s comeback goes nowhere. The Roll of the Dice finishes Darren at 10:08.

Rating: D. What do you want me to say here? Darren Young is one of the least interesting wrestlers I’ve ever sat through. His ring work is passable enough but there’s no charisma or connection to him. Above all else, this is more proof that once Backlund is gone, Young likely won’t be far behind him.

We go back to Raw for our first full clip.

Here’s Stephanie McMahon to a chorus of boos. She talks about how big the battle between Monday Night Raw and Smackdown Live is going to be before introducing the four competitors for the main Survivor Series match. Kevin Owens, Chris Jericho, Roman Reigns and Braun Strowman will be joined by…..Seth Rollins in not that much of a surprise. Owens doesn’t care for Rollins being on the team but Stephanie cuts him off to go through Smackdown’s team. Raw better fight like their jobs are on the line because they are.

Stephanie leaves and Owens and Jericho talk about how they’ve taken over the show in recent weeks. Kevin thinks they need winners on the team, unlike the Shield who died because the members were all horrible human beings. The brawl is on with Braun standing behind until he cleans house. Strowman and Reigns have a staredown but here’s Stephanie again to make a five way match for later tonight.

And then, Monday’s main event.

Braun Strowman vs. Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho

Stephanie: “Now you all are going into the biggest match of your lives and it’s so important for Raw to win. NOW GO OUT THERE AND BEAT THE HECK OUT OF EACH OTHER FOR MY AMUSEMENT!!!” Non-title, nothing on the line and Reigns comes out last. Rollins, Owens and Jericho go outside so we get Reigns staring at Strowman for a long time. Strowman is knocked to the floor where Rollins beats on him with a kendo stick. Now it’s a table but Strowman makes a quick save to take us to a break.

Back with Strowman giving Reigns the reverse chokeslam and kicking Jericho out of the air. Owens tries to talk his way out of trouble before punching Strowman in the face, earning himself a clothesline. Everyone goes after Strowman and an enziguri from Rollins into the Superman Punch is finally enough to send him outside. The Sling Blade drops Owens and it’s time for the Shield showdown.

That goes nowhere as Strowman has to be dealt with again, only to have the Canadians break up the TripleBomb through the table. Strowman is put on the table and it’s Jericho being powerbombed through Braun through the table. Back in and Rollins kicks Owens in the head for two, followed by the Pedigree for the same with Jericho making the save. That earns Chris a Pedigree but Owens makes a save. Reigns Superman Punches Owens…..right into the pin on Jericho at 14:58.

Rating: C+. This was fine, although I’m really not sure what this changes. The World Champion winning a match has become a big surprise because he loses way too often anymore. At least the right guy won and this isn’t being used to set up the new challenge. I’m still not sure why Stephanie would want to make that match but who am I to question her?

Overall Rating: D. No amount of cutting it up can hide the fact that Monday’s show sucked. WWE can claim whatever they want but they put on a bad show and there’s no way around it. The regular stuff here was a big waste of time as Young is boring and Neville has to work WAY down so Titus can keep up with him. Totally worthless show here and that’s not normal for Superstars.

Superstars
Date: October 21, 2016
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves

We’re back in the Goldberg world and I have a feeling we might hear about him on this show more than once. Other than that I’m sure we’ll have something other than Darren Young vs. Jinder Mahal Part III. They have most of the Raw roster at their disposal and I can’t imagine we’ll have to sit through that again. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Alicia Fox vs. Nia Jax

Clash of Champions rematch. Fox gets thrown around so she tries a sleeper to almost no avail. A front facelock goes even worse as Fox is thrown all over the place. We hit the bearhug until Fox crawls over Nia’s head. The ax kick gets two but Alicia is launched off the kickout. Fox’s middle rope dive is caught in the Samoan drop for the easy pin at 3:35.

Rating: D+. Just a step above a squash here and that’s all it needed to be. Fox is about all you can feed to Nia at this point as they don’t have enough of a division to have two stories going on at the same time. Nia is going to be a big deal when she’s allowed to go after the title and the first woman to stop her will look like a big deal.

We look at the buildup to Goldberg’s return.

Back to Raw for Rusev and Lana calling out Roman Reigns.

Here are Rusev and Lana to run down America and its horrible family values. He’s heard about Roman’s family but he doesn’t want to hear about 700 Samoans sitting around a campfire dipping a turkey leg in mayonnaise. As a counter, Rusev, has a photo album of his own family.

This includes his mother (two time world rowing champion), his father (who wrestled in the military), his brother Rusev (Rusev Rusev? Either way he’s a chef.), his grandmother and their award winning dog. Reigns FINALLY comes out to interrupt and is quickly beaten down, allowing Rusev to put Reigns in the Accolade.

Back to Raw again for Seth Rollins interrupting Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens, plus the ensuing match.

After Jericho and Owens brag about their friendship a bit, Rollins comes out to a BIG face chant. Like, even bigger than the time he beat up Roman Reigns and should have been turned face then. Rollins thinks everything about Jericho should be on the List, including the trunks which Rollins refers to as Sparkle Crotch. Jericho: “I AM NOT SPARKLE CROTCH!” For calling him that, Rollins JUST MADE THE LIST!

Seth brings up Owens bailing on Jericho two weeks in a row but that’s just to keep the team strong. Jericho issues a challenge to Rollins, who wants to fight right now. Actually hang on because Seth wants to know what Owens is going to do. Jericho and Owens disagree about whether Owens should stay or go with Jericho saying he’s got this because Owens can be here in spirit. Rollins: “Let’s do this. Owens, get your hands off Sparkle Crotch.”

Chris Jericho vs. Seth Rollins

First good sign of the match: the bell rings as we get back because Foley made it official during the break. Do that WAY more often. The SPARKLE CROTCH chants begin as Rollins clotheslines Jericho out of the corner and stomps on the Canadian. A backbreaker gives Jericho two and control but he has to fight out of a Pedigree attempt. Jericho backdrops him over the top and face first onto the apron as we take a break.

Back with both guys getting up and Rollins scoring with a Sling Blade for two. The nose breaking knee has Jericho in trouble but here’s Owens for a distraction. Rollins hits the springboard knee but gets distracted anyway, allowing Jericho to grab the Walls. The referee sees Owens holding the ropes away from Rollins though and the hold is broken. Instead Jericho goes with an enziguri but the Codebreaker is countered into a Pedigree for the pin at 14:36.

Rating: B-. This third straight loss for Jericho is proof of how important talking is in wrestling. Jericho has lost to Rollins three times now and he’s still going to be one of the most over acts on the roster with all of his stupid lines and charisma. It’s something so few people have going for them and Jericho is one of the best ever at it.

Darren Young vs. Jinder Mahal

I WAS KIDDING YOU MORONS!!! You have the entire Raw roster and this is the best you can do??? Darren takes him to the mat to start until a headlock slows things down. The fans actually get behind Darren as he gets two off a shoulder and seated senton. Mahal goes after Bob Backlund and uses the distraction to send Young into the LED board. Back from a break with Mahal grabbing a chinlock.

You know, you would think three straight matches would be enough to give two people some chemistry but that’s not happening here. Some choking on the ropes has Young in even more trouble and it’s back to the chinlock. Young finally punches him out of the air and makes his comeback with some chops. The belly to back suplex onto the apron gets two and you can hear the crowd dying by the second. A roaring elbow sets up the Gut Check for the pin on Mahal at 8:55.

Rating: D-. Please, stop. These two are having some of the least interesting matches I’ve ever seen and for some reason we’re seeing it week after week. There’s no story, there’s no reason to believe Mahal is going to win and there’s no energy to any of these things. Just boring all around and that’s the worst kind of wrestling you can have.

We look at Paul Heyman’s comments to Goldberg.

Goldberg’s comments wrap up the show.

Cole brings out “the greatest champion in WCW history”. I’ll just let that sink in for a moment as Goldberg gets the big, long walk entrance through the back with everyone applauding him (and the Governor of Colorado being shown on camera chanting his name). Goldberg finally comes out and soaks in some cheers before saying you should never say never again. His wife and son are here to see him for the first time ever.

Back in January, he got a phone call from 2K asking him to promote their new video game. The thing he misses most, other than hurting people, is being a hero for kids. Somewhere along the way, he created some drama around here and maybe it’s better left alone. Fans: “NO!” Goldberg: “BUT THEN!” Fans: “YAY!”

Goldberg talks about Brock having Heyman challenge him to a fight, which made him think he has one more beating left in him. Maybe he has one more spear and Jackhammer in him. That means Brock is next but he’s also last. Goldberg goes around the ring and picks up some kids (including his own) to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The stuff from Raw helped but sweet goodness the original stuff here was a disaster. The women were about as good as a near squash was going to be but the “main event” made me wish I was watching anything else. Like, Main Event for example. Just throw out ANYONE else and it’s going to be better. Not much to this show and that’s about why Superstars exists.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Superstars
Date: October 14, 2016
Location: Oracle Arena, Oakland, California
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips

It’s a big week around here as we’re coming off a pay per view and had a bunch of big matches announced for Survivor Series. In addition to that we also have the impending announcement of Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar II, which will probably also be at the November pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Shining Stars vs. Josh Andrews/Jared Pimm

Andrews seems interested in a time share to start but gets clotheslined instead. Well it’s more interesting than the time share would be. A double dropkick keeps Andrews in trouble and we get a LET’S GO JOBBERS chant. Epico gives him a delayed vertical suplex but a jawbreaker allows the tag off to Pimm. A double underhook gutbuster has Pimm reeling and an enziguri/legsweep combo puts him away at 3:46.

Rating: D. The Shining Stars just aren’t interesting and the crowd silence here tells you everything you need to know. There’s a reason these two have been around for years and barely ever done anything on the roster. Sometimes you have to accept that all the repackaging in the world isn’t going to save some acts.

We recap Raw’s opening segment between Rusev/Roman Reigns/Sasha Banks/Charlotte which set up the following mixed tag.

Charlotte/Rusev vs. Roman Reigns/Sasha Banks

The genders have to match so we start with multiple tags before any contact. Rusev punches Reigns to start and a clothesline gets two. Reigns starts a comeback as the fans want Sasha. The villains are knocked to the floor and we take a break. Back with Reigns caught in a chinlock and more WE WANT SASHA chants. A Superman Punch allows the tag to Charlotte, meaning it’s off to Sasha to clean house. Wouldn’t it have been smarter to not have Rusev tag so the advantage isn’t lost? The double knees in the corner get two on Charlotte and the Bank Statement makes her tap at 9:48.

Rating: D+. Well that happened and it was nowhere near as amazing as the announcers tried to make it seem. The fans really didn’t seem to care about Rusev vs. Reigns as there’s almost no way Rusev is getting the title back and everyone knows it. There was nothing to the match anyway and the sudden ending didn’t help things.

We see Goldberg’s comments on SportsCenter.

Here’s Paul Heyman to discuss said Goldberg comments but first we get another WWE2K17 video, this time of Lesnar vs. Goldberg. Heyman has heard people whispering about Goldberg returning for years now because they want one more spear and Jackhammer. You still hear the chants today and there they go again.

Everyone that got in the same ring as Goldberg was conquered while he was running parallel to Brock Lesnar. It keeps Heyman up at night that Goldberg is one up on Brock so as of tonight, Goldberg is officially challenged to a fight any place anytime. Goldberg can either live in the past or step in this ring and be conquered. In Suplex City, Goldberg is next.

Darren Young vs. Jinder Mahal

Yes again. Young takes him down with a headlock and chops in the corner a bit. For some reason Mahal heads outside to yell at Bob Backlund so Young takes him to the apron, only to get kicked into the post. Back with Darren in an abdominal stretch as the announcers talk about Mahal’s inner peace. Something about breathing techniques. Mahal slowly stomps on the ribs and puts on a chinlock with a knee in the back. Young fights up again and hits the belly to back suplex on the apron but Jinder kicks him in the head for two more. A dropkick gives Darren two more and the Gut Check ends Mahal at 11:02.

Rating: C-. I liked this better as it was a bit more competitive but Darren Young vs. Jinder Mahal is as stereotypical of a Superstars match as you’re going to get. Once the Election takes place and we can get rid of Make Darren Young Great Again, I can’t imagine either of these guys are going to be around much longer. Neither of them are interesting and neither of them have any depth to their characters.

From Raw, Stephanie McMahon and Mick Foley set up the night’s main event.

Here are the bosses with Stephanie making fun of Foley’s red flannel suit. In what sounds like a Home Shopping Network ad, Foley and Stephanie talk about the Women’s Title match being inside the Cell and confirm it for a second time tonight. But wait: there’s more. In a THIRD Cell match, Seth Rollins will be challenging for Kevin Owens’ Raw World Title as well.

This brings out Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens to say Mick has outdone himself this week. Owens doesn’t want to be in the Cell because he doesn’t want to be an old, broken down man like Foley. Jericho wants to know if he and Kevin can have their own private jet if Mick is just throwing out presents. The recklessness involved in putting Owens in the Cell means FOLEY JUST MADE THE LIST! Foley: “I started the List.” Jericho: “YOU JUST MADE THE LIST AGAIN!”

Stephanie tells Jericho to show Foley respect (MAKE UP YOUR FREAKING MIND ALREADY STEPHANIE!!! TWO WEEKS AGO YOU TREATED FOLEY LIKE A THREE YEAR OLD AND NOW JERICHO NEEDS TO RESPECT HIM???) so she has an idea: if Jericho can beat Rollins tonight, he’s in the title match as a triple threat. Because Raw needs to top Smackdown’s triple threat!

And now, that main event.

Seth Rollins vs. Chris Jericho

If Jericho wins, the Universal Title match becomes a triple threat. Rollins doesn’t care for having a toothpick thrown in his face so he smacks Jericho around. A Blockbuster gets two for Seth and Jericho bails to the floor, only to get caught by a slingshot dropkick. Cue Owens for a distraction so Jericho can take over and we take a break.

Back with Jericho kicking Rollins off the top and slapping on an abdominal stretch. Rollins sends him face first into the middle turnbuckle and gets two off a Sling Blade (which Jericho called loudly). Seth goes up top and slams Jericho off, only to have his crossbody dropkicked out of the air. The low superkick gets two on Jericho but Owens offers a distraction, allowing Jericho to grab the Walls.

A belt shot from Owens gets the same and Rollins takes him down with a suicide dive. The springboard knee to the head gets two on Jericho but he avoids the frog splash. A Lionsault gives Jericho a near fall of his own but he misses a high crossbody. Jericho reverses the Pedigree into another Walls attempt, only to get small packaged for the pin at 19:14.

Rating: B-. The ending was more of a relief than anything else as I really, really didn’t need to sit through another triple threat title match, especially inside the Cell. Rollins vs. Owens isn’t the most interesting thing in the world but Jericho can go and do something else instead of trying to salvage this upper midcard feud.

Post match Owens and Jericho beat on Seth but Rollins fights back and gives Jericho a Pedigree as Owens bails to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t one of their better shows as the original wrestling really didn’t do anything for me. Mahal vs. Young was done last week and I really didn’t need to see the same thing in a version nearly three times as long. Couple that with a boring squash and this show pretty much just existed for the sake of the Raw recaps, where your mileage may vary.

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