Once Upon A Beginning
Date: April 5, 2019
Location: White Eagle Hall, Jersey City, New Jersey
Commentator: Mike Quackenbush

This is from Chikara and if you haven’t seen or heard of them….I’m not sure what to tell you. Imagine a comic book come to life as a wrestling promotion with the most ridiculous, over the top stories (mind control, cavemen, a colony of various ants and I don’t know where else to keep going) in the history of wrestling. I don’t follow the promotion enough to know what’s going on here so let’s get to it.

Cornelius Crummels/Sonny Defarge vs. CCK

CCK (Chris Brookes/Kid Lykos) are rather big in Europe. Defarge and Crummels look like they belong around 1915 and are former Tag Team Champions. Lykos (under a mask) and Defarge start things off with Lykos calling for a brainbuster less than thirty seconds in. That’s broken up but Defarge misses a big boot, allowing Lykos to snap off a hurricanrana. Crummels tags himself in and blocks a hiptoss attempt and it’s off to Brookes for the first time.

A basement dropkick gives Brookes one but a slobber covered finger won’t go into Crummels’ mouth. Crummels puts it in Brookes’ mouth instead and it’s Defarge coming in for some cheating. That’s fine with Brookes who sends Crummels over Defarge for a sunset flip, setting up a catapult to make Crummels hit Defarge low. Lykos comes back in and gets chop blocked, sending him face first into Crummels’ knees.

A dropkick puts Lykos down for two and a running version in the corner gets the same. Lykos finally rolls away from Crummels and it’s back to Brookes as the pace picks up. Everything breaks down and Brookes is pulled outside so Lykos hits his own dive. Back in and Lykos’ Diamond Dust gets two on Crummels but Defarge sends Lykos outside. One heck of a clothesline gets two on Brookes but Lykos comes back in for a distraction.

Brookes nails a slingshot cutter with Crummels making the save. Back up and Brookes charges at Defarge but gets caught in a hanging piledriver to drop him again. Defarge powerbombs Brookes onto Crummels’ knees with Lykos making a save this time. Lykos goes up top so Crummels uses Defarge as a launchpad for a super monkey flip for the pin at 10:15.

Rating: D+. Not great here with the action getting a little messy at times. It doesn’t help that Crummels and Defarge look enough alike that it was hard to keep them apart. The other problem is this didn’t feel like a Chikara match and could have been on just about any show over the weekend. Not terrible, but run of the mill at best.

Missile Assault Man vs. Boomer Hatfield

Assault Man is rather serious while Boomer (I’m assuming Dash’s brother/cousin/mystic spirit dragon given where we are) wears a baseball mask. Assault starts fast and throws him around, setting up a heck of a clothesline. It’s time to start stomping on Hatfield’s leg but the Sharpshooter attempt doesn’t work.

Instead it’s a northern lights suplex into an elbow as Assault isn’t wasting time here. Boomer armdrags his way out of a fireman’s carry and a headscissors sends Assault outside. Back in and Boomer’s high crossbody is countered into a reverse Razor’s Edge to send him face first into the buckle (looked rather awesome, though it could go badly at the same time) for the pin at 4:02.

Rating: C-. Pretty much a squash here but I can see why Assault is considered a monster. It helps when Hatfield isn’t that big and can get beaten up so easily. They mentioned that he was a rookie as well so it was a rather simple formula. Sometimes you need a squash like this one to make someone look good and it worked well for Assault here.

The win gives Assault three points, meaning he can challenge for the World Title.

Cam Zigani/Arik Cannon/Hallowicked/Hermit Crab vs. Jigsaw/Razerhawk/Stokely Hathaway/Thunderfrog

Everyone here has held the Young Lions Cup before and this is going to be a match where I’m trying to tell who is who. Hathaway is Chuck Taylor, which must be a joke that they’re not going to explain. Zigani and Razerhawk start things off with Razerhawk hand walking into a headscissors, followed by a springboard armdrag (required around here). That’s enough to send Zigani over for a tag to Cannon, who gets to face Hathaway.

A wristlock nearly has Arik tapping until he reverses into one of his own, which has the fans chanting PLEASE DON’T TAP. The short form technical wrestling sets up a double tag to Jigsaw and Hallowicked, who have a long history together. They go to the mat to start with Hallowicked getting the better of the grappling but not being able to do anything against his bridge on the mat.

A pinfall reversal sequence gives us a standoff and the fans politely applaud. Jigsaw hits a middle rope hurricanrana into a double stomp for two and it’s off to Crab vs. Thunderfrog, complete with Thor style hammer. Crab goes with a nerve hold but gets caught in an airplane spin, plus one in the other direction ala Tyler Bate. Thunderfrog’s Cannonball (WAY too common of a move in so many promotions these days) looks to set up a Vader Bomb but everything breaks down for the big brawl instead.

That means Thunderfrog’s team hitting ten punches in every corner until quadruple atomic drops break it up. We settle down to Cam neckbreakering Thunderfrog and Jigsaw getting the two. Cannon’s snapmare gets two as the Thunderfrog beating continues in the corner. Crab gets two more off a suplex but Hallowicked walks into a Blue Thunder Bomb. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Jigsaw so things can pick up a bit.

Stokely comes in to take over but he has to beat up Cannon and Hallowicked at the same time. The Falcon Arrow gets two as the fans chant for Hathaway. Soul Food connects but a Sky High gives Hallowicked two. Cannon hits a brainbuster for two on Jigsaw but Thunderfrog sends him to the floor for a big flip dive.

Back in and it’s time for the parade of secondary finishers, with Razerhawk handspring elbowing Hallowicked and Hermit Crab. Things slow down a bit as we seem to be getting ready for the big spot. Cannon tells the referee something and the ring mostly clears out. Zigani can’t superplex Razerhawk so Thunderfrog grabs his big hammer and strikes the mat to knock everyone down. Razerhawk hits a Swanton to finish Zigani at 17:48.

Rating: C. I’m going to be as nice as I can here and say that this was messy. There were eight people there with a lot of stories and characters that aren’t explained, which makes this feel like a joke we’re not in on. This is one of those shows that should be designed to draw in some fans and it seemed that we were supposed to know everything that was going on coming in, including that Stokely/Taylor deal. It was a fun spot fest, but it could have been a lot better with a little less time and more explanation.

Hold on though as Thunderfrog forgets his hammer and since no one can lift it, we have to wait for him to come back and get the thing.

Air Wolf vs. A-Kid

This could be good and these two were very familiar faces over the weekend. They hit the mat to start with Wolf working on an armbar to limited avail due to a twisting escape. A-Kid goes with a headscissors on the mat before switching off to a headlock. Some quick flips let A-Kid hit a dropkick and we take a breather until Wolf can pull himself out of the corner. Wolf is fine enough to hit a kick to the chest and a snap suplex gets two.

The Rings of Saturn have A-Kid in more trouble and Wolf twists the wrist around to make it even worse. That’s broken up so Wolf hits a spinning gutbuster for two. Wolf tries some kicks to the chest but A-Kid blocks one and strikes away to take over. The triangle choke is broken up in a hurry and they hit stereo bicycle kicks for a double knockdown. Back up and A-Kid gets two off a northern lights suplex but Wolf kicks him into the ropes.

That means a 619 between the bottom ropes to send A-Kid outside. You know that means the big old dive to the floor and Wolf hits a somewhat messy dive back inside for two. Some attempts at a double underhook something don’t work as A-Kid is right back up with a sliding German suplex. A missile dropkick gives A-Kid two and the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here.

The slugout goes to Wolf but A-Kid pulls him down into another triangle choke. Wolf powers him up but A-Kid jumps forward with a Canadian Destroyer in a sweet counter. A-Kid puts him on top, where Wolf hits a swinging butterfly superplex for another double knockdown. They head up top again but this time A-Kid catches him with a super Spanish Fly for the pin at 11:44.

Rating: B. Yeah this was a blast with both guys working as hard as they could and having a competitive match without going too nuts with the high flying. Sometimes a match like this is one high spot after another but they were trading spots here instead of going as crazy as they could. That was a very nice change of pace and I had a much better time with this one than I was expecting to.

Post match, respect is shown.

Here’s Juan Francisco de Coronado for a chat, though he breaks with his tradition of coming to the ring slower than Undertaker. He says his name is NOT Juan Francisco de Coronado and he has fallen on some hard times as of late. Fans: “YOU DESERVE IT!” He’s been having some personal and financial issues, including losing his Ecuadorian citizenship and has had to use his body to pay off debts. It has made him do some soul searching and there has been one constant in his brain: maybe he isn’t good enough. Maybe he would be better off if he just quit.

The fans are split on that one but one other thing has been on his mind: on this weekend, no one has come here to see him. Maybe it’s time for him to make a change. He is no longer Juan Francisco de Coronado. Now he is John Francis of Coronado. And that’s it. Given that it’s Chikara, I would expect this story to go on for the next three years.

Young Lions Cup: Still Life With Apricots and Pears vs. Carlos Romo

Still Life is defending and is basically an art project come to life, complete with being identified as “they” instead of he or she. The Cup is full of flowers to keep things a little off. Still Life pulls him in by the arm off a handshake offer and it’s an early start on Romo’s leg. Romo is right back up with a leg lariat for two as the announcers try to figure out where the bullseye is on Still Life considering all the other paint. It’s right back to Romo’s leg with some cranking on the mat.

Back up and Still Life kicks him in the ribs but Romo hits a chop in the corner, which just seems to hurt his own hand. Still Life dropkicks him in the leg for two but a spinning toehold is countered into a small package for two. A running knee to the head drops Still Life and it’s time to strike away at the champ. Romo hits a springboard spinning cutter (cool) but misses a moonsault that would have gone too far, even if Still Life hadn’t moved. Something close to a reverse/inverted Figure Four (a modified Venus Flytrap called Venus de Milo) retains the Cup at 5:53.

Rating: D+. This is the kind of stuff that I like to see from Chikara as you could never get away with something like Still Life elsewhere. That’s what makes it more interesting: it might not work elsewhere, but it works here. That takes some serious world building and Chikara has done it for a very long time now. Let that go somewhere and they’ll turn him into a star, because that’s what they know how to do around here.

Princess Kimber Lee vs. The Whisper

They’re the reigning Tag Team Champions who don’t get along and are fighting each other here. It worked for Mysterio and Guerrero. Whisper is the Innovator of Silence and Lee is from the Suplex Kingdom. Lee doesn’t wait for the bell and starts throwing the German suplexes as we have an unlikely Brock Lesnar inspired character. She is on about her twelfth German suplex in a row and Whisper is done.

Another is broken up but Whisper can’t hit his own German suplex. Instead Lee elbows him in the face and starts rolling more German suplexes. Whisper finally gets in his own German suplex….and Lee no sells it. A kick to the head sets up a bridging German suplex to give Lee the pin at 3:20.

Rating: D+. It’s another storyline match, though this one was a little more charming than most of what you would get out of a Lesnar match. Whisper is similar to Still Life in that he is his own thing who is probably a lot more interesting around here, though he wouldn’t work all that well anywhere else. Lee is someone who fits a lot better around here than she did in NXT, which is perfectly fine for a lot of people. Not a good match, but it seemed to advance their story.

FIST vs. The Colony

That would be Tony Deppen/Icarus/Travis Huckabee (Friends in Similar Tights, a stable which has been around for a LONG time with a bunch of different members) vs. Fire Ant/Green Ant/Thief Ant (same thing, but they’re humanoid bugs). The brawl is on in a hurry as these teams apparently have a deep history (that’s downright terrifying around here) until it’s Icarus driving Green into the corner as the proper match starts.

Huckabee misses a knee drop and it’s time to start in on some kind of arm hold with Deppen making the save. Thief comes in and starts slowly punching away in the corner but Deppen sends him outside for a nasty looking suicide dive. Green hits his own corkscrew dive onto Deppen and Huckabee, leaving Icarus vs. Fire Ant, with the announcers talking about the long history between the two of them.

Fire sends him outside to set up the launched dive (the Antapult), leaving Deppen to get superkicked for two. Green and Deppen chop it out with FIST hitting a triple running kick in the corner for another two. Thief and Fire break up a second attempt and it’s a triple dropkick in the corner for two on Huckabee. A rollup is reversed into a Brock Lock on Fire but Thief makes the save and puts on one of his own (with commentary explaining that he can steal moves but not do them as well, which is pretty clever).

The Wings of Icarus (Pedigree) gets two on Icarus but Deppen is back up with a jumping knee to Thief’s face. Green gets the Chikara Special (pull on an arm and leg at the same time in a specific way) but Icarus makes the save with the Blu Ray (it’s a Death Valley Driver, but more dangerous than a DVD) for two.

Something close to Bandido’s 21 Plex drops Fire, who no sells the whole thing and kicks Icarus in the face for two. Huckabee takes Fire up top but Green breaks up what looked to be a butterfly superplex. Fire is right back up with a super hurricanrana into a double suicide dive. That leaves Green to try the Chikara Special, which Travis reverses into a Brock Lock with a bodyscissors for the tap at 9:47.

Rating: B-. This is a match where it seems the history would make this better but what we got here was a rather entertaining match. Chikara knows its trios matches and even with commentary talking about FIST getting a Tag Team Title shot soon, I wasn’t sure who was winning. The Colony is a very fun act and FIST is a good counterpart to them so I had a good time.

Director of Fun Bryce Remsburg thanks the fans for coming out (Which he does every time you come to a show, including person to person. I’ve talked to him a few times and he’s an incredibly nice guy.) but doesn’t think he’s right for the job anymore. Therefore, we have a new Director of Fun (GM): Sydney Bakabella.

This doesn’t sit well with Bryce, who leaves after a forced hug. Bakabella (WHERE DO THEY GET THESE NAMES???) talks about calling some of the great wrestling presidents, including Jack Tunny, Stanley Blackburn and Jim Barnett, who told him to take the job. He’ll be here to have fun and you can take the to the pay window. Fans: “YOU’RE NOT FUN!”

We recap the main event, complete with a graphic of Kimber Lee vs. Whisper. Mark Angelosetti was Grand Champion but got hurt, meaning he was allowed to choose an interim champion. That would be Dasher Hatfield, his former partner. Hatfield got a lot more confident by winning over and over again, but now Angelosetti is healthy again. Hatfield hit him with the title to go heelish, meaning it’s time for the title match between the former friends.

Grand Championship: Dasher Hatfield vs. Mark Angelosetti

Angelosetti is challenging, even though he should still be the official champion and it’s a ladder match. Hatfield wears a baseball themed mask and his theme music starts like the SportsCenter jingle. Angelosetti is Mr. Touchdown and somehow doesn’t come out to anything resembling the Monday Night Football theme. He does however have a song that seems to be called Welcome To Touchdown City, saying he is “better than Favre in a pair of jeans.”

They go straight to the slugout to start as Bryce bails to the floor at the bell in a smart move. They’re on the floor with Dasher getting the better of his step cousin in-law (given wrestling relations, I’m fine with it). A chop off goes to Angelosetti and he forearms Dasher in the face. They fight near the ladder with Dasher sending him back inside and the ladder following. Angelosetti goes for the first climb but is smart enough to drop down when Dasher gets back in. Why do so few people figure that out?

Angelosetti whips him back first into the ladder and hits some splashes in the vein of football up downs. Instead of a big one though, Angelosetti puts the ladder onto Dasher and then hits the splash to put in some pain. That’s enough to get a hand on the ladder but Dasher tips it over, sending Angelosetti onto the buckles, with Angelosetti sticking the landing. Again, in a way of keeping things simple, Dasher shoves him out to the floor instead of doing something dumb.

Dasher slams him legs first onto the apron and kicks at the leg for a bonus. A backdrop on the floor gets Angelosetti out of trouble and it’s time for the big ladder (required really). Instead of climbing up, Angelosetti hits a Cannonball in the corner as we hear about the history of ladder matches around here. All two of them. Dasher gets whipped into the regular ladder in the corner, which Dasher throws at the big one.

They go up the big ladder at the same time with Angelosetti belly to back suplexing him down for the next big crash. Angelosetti is down as well so Dasher gets in a shot to the leg. A shinbreaker onto the ladder in the corner has Angelosetti in real trouble for the first time. Like a good heel, Dasher ties him in the Tree of Woe for more kicks to the leg, followed by a baseball slide to send a ladder into Angelosetti’s face.

Dasher goes up but takes too long (of course), allowing Angelosetti to hit him with the other ladder. They go up a ladder each and the fans request that they don’t die. That means a double crash and they both bounce off the ropes for the knockdowns. Dasher is up first and gets creative by tying the big ladder vertically in the ropes, allowing him to whip Angelosetti into it for a cool visual.

Angelosetti sets up the smaller ladder up across from the big one, with Dasher letting him do just that. The ladders are both standing up so they shove each other into them for a cool yet rather contrived spot. Angelosetti gets the better of it here and unhooks the regular ladder, which is knocked into his face for taking too long. Dasher grabs Boomer Hatfield (apparently his son and watching from ringside) and demands help, which Boomer doesn’t want to offer. With that not working, Dasher shoves him down and…that seems to be it for Boomer.

It’s time to bring in some chairs but Angelosetti manages a spinebuster onto them, leaving a line on Dasher’s back for a painful visual. The big ladder is set up in the middle of the ring but Angelosetti takes too long (the plague of ladder matches), allowing Dasher to wrap the leg around the ladder. In a creative spot, Dasher Pillmanizes the leg while Angelosetti is still standing on the ladder. Dasher grabs an elbow pad which apparently he used to cheat in a big tournament back in Season 15.

Instead of going for the belt, Dasher loads up a big elbow from the ladder, allowing Angelosetti to get up for a superplex off the ladder and the next big crash. The Flea Flicker (belly to back suplex into a pair of knees to the chest) knocks Dasher down again but hurts Angelosetti’s knee even more. Angelosetti climbs up the big ladder with the small one wedged in between to help with some bracing. Since that’s just dumb in a ladder match, Dasher Batista Bombs him through the regular ladder to kill Angelosetti for good. Dasher pulls down the title for the win at 24:35.

Rating: B+. This went a bit longer than it needed to and some of the spots took too long to set up, but the carnage and anger were both there. That’s what they were going for as these two seem to have been rather close before the title got between them. It’s worthy of a main event and it’s nice to have something of note happen on the show. What matters most here is how brutal this was and I had a good time watching it, though trimming five minutes would have helped a lot.

Overall Rating: B-. It took some time to get going but the big matches delivered and there was more than enough good stuff throughout to make the show work. Chikara is one of, if not the most, unique promotions out there and it’s really cool to see some of their ideas in action. The main event feels bigger than anything else as the rest of the show came off as more like a showcase than a major show. To be fair though, that’s kind of what Wrestlemania weekend is all about for the indies, and this show would make me keep watching.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Off the Hook
Date: October 24, 2015
Location: The Arena, Jeffersonville, Indiana
Commentators: Mike Quackenbush, Leonard F. Chikarason, Dr. Rod Diamondfire, Bryce Remsburg

So this is an interesting one as I was actually in the arena (as in The Arena) for the show. I’m far from familiar with Chikara but I know enough about it to have some form of idea of what I’m watching. This was my first time seeing them live and it was a rather entertaining night, especially for $20 for the last row (last out of four that is). Let’s get to it.

Now for those of you that aren’t familiar, Chikara is basically a comic book come to life in a wrestling promotion. There are cults, secret organizations, mind control, wrestling ants and blowing up a bus full of children. When you get into something like this, you have to know what you’re signing up for. You can’t expect WWE style or production values, along with expecting a very indy style experience.

It should also be noted that this season’s main story (yeah Chikara is divided into seasons, with an actual offseason) is a multi-team competition called Challenge of the Immortals. The roster has been divided into ten four person teams. Each team will face off against each other at least once with the captains picking the stipulations. No word on what the prize is for the winning team.

Finally, I’m probably not going to know a lot of the details and backstories here. Chikara is one of those places with an incredibly deep and complicated history and there’s almost no way to keep track of everything. I apologize in advance for any mistakes I make though I’m sure I’ll be corrected on them.

The opening sequence is almost identical to the Marvel Studios logo. Again: I love that they aren’t hiding what they’re doing. It makes things so much easier.

We get graphics of all the matches on the card.

The arena really was small with maybe 150 people in the arena at most. I was sitting opposite the hard camera so on the off chance you see this show, I’m in the fourth row in the Superman shirt.

The announcer (Alex Pearlman, a guy who doesn’t seem to be that well known. He was a really good host though and held the show together all night.) welcomes us to the show, with his mic cutting off a few times in the middle. The only problem here was he said they were going to blow the roof off the place. It was raining pretty hard that night so does he want everyone to get wet?

Challenge of the Immortals: Orange Cassidy/Drew Gulak vs. Ophidian/Shynron

Gentleman’s Club vs. Snake Pit. Each team has their own flag which is a very nice touch. Gulak is a British style wrestler and Cassidy wrestles in sunglasses and torn jeans. Cassidy and Shynron start things off with Orange grabbing a headlock. Cassidy: “I want out! This is too much!” He takes off the sunglasses as the announcers are ripping on Cassidy for being lazy and exhausted.

Cassidy runs in slow motion and taps against Shynron for a shoulder before tripping him down. The comedy is actually working here as Cassidy trips but claims it was a splash. Off to Ophidian vs. Gulak for the actual wrestling portion. They hit the mat for some nice counters until Ophidian bounces off the mat several times to escape a wristlock. Cassidy tags himself in and asks for a test of strength. You can see the joke coming from here.

The much smaller Ophidian puts him down with one arm as referee Bryce Remsburg (one of the stars of the show) says this was Cassidy’s idea. Now Cassidy wants Shynron. Ophidian: “You sure about that buddy?” Shynron moonsaults off the middle rope and moonsaults right up to Cassidy who immediately tags out. Gulak easily wrestles Shynron to the mat and starts working on the arm before getting rolled up for two. It’s back to Cassidy vs. Ophidian with Cassidy taking a nap with a stuffed tiger.

Ophidian gets smart and tries a quiet count but Gulak shouts FREE BAGEL BITES at two, making Cassidy snap up and small package Ophidian for two. Cassidy asks for a weapons check of all things and gets caught in a reverse Tumbleweed of all things for two for a bunch of two counts. Gulak comes in for a rolling cradle of his own but still can’t end this comedy. Shynron tries some handsprings into a headscissors on Drew but has to settle for a victory roll instead.

Back to Ophidian vs. Cassidy with the snake man headstanding on the top turnbuckle and hissing. A very complicated rollup gets two on Orange and it’s back to the wrestlers for a crisscross into a sunset flip from Drew. Shynron’s springboard is countered into an electric chair which is countered into a hurricanrana for two but it’s time for the partners to come in and turn the hold over about a dozen times in a row. Cassidy: “STOP IT!”

Cassidy complains to the referee that he’s trying to win the match and Ophidian is over here trying to win the match too. Totally unfair! The fans want a hug and Ophidian offers a handshake. Cassidy tries a trick of course and gets rolled up to give Ophidian the pin at 14:01 with Gulak (where was he anyway?) being a second late.

Rating: C+. This was longer than it needed to be but it was the perfect way to set the tone for the show. The comedy was really working here with Cassidy as a good slacker and Gulak the completely opposite partner. The Snake Pit could have been any given combination and the match would have worked just fine. Really entertaining stuff with the wrestling as a backdrop, which is going to be a trend all night.

Pragash Sabar, who is basically an X-Pac tribute character from Pakistan, says Farmer Frog (just go with it) isn’t poisonous enough for him. He gets in a few Sean Waltman jabs for good measure. Waltman has to show up (again) and squash him good and strong.

Pragash Sabar vs. Farmer Frog

He’s a frog who farms and certainly NOT the Estonian Thunder Frog who died recently. We get another weapons check and the referee finds…..cucumbers on Sabar? Sabar bails to the floor and hands a fan two more cucumbers. I really don’t want to know the joke here. The much bigger Frog shoves him down a few times before grabbing Pragash by his big fake tongue. That means it’s time for the armpit to the tongue and I have no idea how I reached this point in my life.

Sabar goes to the floor for a breather (and so fans can rub his tongue), allowing Frog to come off the top with an ax handle. Back in and a Cannonball sets up a delayed gordbuster (Frog: “OOPSIE!” Oopsie?) for two. The Slop Drop (for once that name makes sense) is broken up though and Sabar gets two of his own off a high cross body.

Some X-Pac kicks in the corner (and a few licks of the hand) set up the Bronco Buster (Chikarason: “Five hit combo.”) for two, mainly because it’s not a move you pin people with. Frog grabs an Oklahoma Stampede of all things but Sabar bails to the floor and tries to get his cucumbers back. That goes nowhere so Frog hammers away in the corner, only to get powerbombed down into a rollup with Sabar putting his feet on the ropes for the pin at 7:44.

Rating: D. I wasn’t feeling this one and the match really didn’t work that well. Neither guy showed off that much as it’s kind of hard to get into a match between Henry Godwinn/Brian Knobbs as a frog (which didn’t change much) vs. X-Pac with a long tongue. It’s not a terrible match or anything but I didn’t care too much for it. This might have been edited as the live notes I had listed it as longer but I didn’t notice any major edits.

Sabar gets his cucumbers back. I still don’t get it.

AC/DC (Arik Cannon, wearing a Less Than Jake shirt, as in the band that sang We’re All Dudes in the cinematic classic Good Burger, and Darin Corbin) are ready for their match. Corbin calls Cannon for fun but Cannon yells at him for not taking this more seriously. Darin suggests slow motion tonight. Oh dear indeed.

AC/DC vs. Lucas Calhoun/Missile Assault Man

Calhoun is an Elvis impersonator and Missile Assault Man used to be an ant but was brainwashed into being extra aggressive by a shadow corporation (or something like that). From what I understand, they’re followers of a guy who was murdering various wrestlers last season (just go with it). Man and Cannon get things going and a quick armdrag sends Man outside, which is as good as a tag around here.

Corbin comes in as well and it’s time for a karate demonstration (Chikarason: “The school of Stan Lane vs. watching a lot of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.”). A little dancing leads to Corbin putting on a karate headband but Calhoun punches him in the ribs and rips it apart. More karate leads to a slap fight and that’s enough for Man as he drags them apart. Corbin sends both guys to the floor for a big dive before telling Cannon they should isolate Calhoun. A double dropkick gets two for AC/DC but Man comes in and dropkicks Darin down for the same.

We get a Missile Assault MAN stomp (with one letter per stomp) as the match settles into something like wrestling. A kick to the head gets two for Calhoun and rolling northern lights suplexes get the same for Man. Corbin elbows both guys away and the hot tag brings in Cannon so everything can break down. Man is sent to the floor and a double superkick gets two on Calhoun.

After a quick interlude from Man, we hit SLOW MOTION. Corbin Stuns Calhoun as even the announcers are speaking slowly. A fan in the crowd says Missile Assault Man sucks in slow speak as well. Cannon gets two off a backslide and now it’s back to full speed with Calhoun eating an RKO, only to have Corbin walk into a Brogue Kick from Man for the pin at 13:55.

Rating: C-. I was getting into this one until the slow motion kicked in. I’ve seen the bit before and while it’s a cool idea, it really takes me out of the match. It’s ok to just have a match end once in awhile, though to be fair that’s the kind of rule that you see for a match in a bigger company. Man and Calhoun were kind of working as an oddball tag team and AC/DC are a good choice for a midcard pairing. Good enough match to start but it needed to have a better finish.

Challenge of the Immortals: Blind Rage vs. Eddie Kingston

Nightmare Warriors (captained by Grand Champion Hallowicked, which will become important in a bit) vs. Snake Pit. Rage is a generic guy with red paint on his face and Kingston (coming in with a bad knee) is a big star known as the War King. Kingston has some issues getting his robe off in a funny bit. Eddie works on a top wristlock and shouts that Hallowicked isn’t here to save Rage. A snapmare puts Rage down and Eddie slaps him in the of the head. Kingston: “It’s ok. I’m a tweener.”

Rage gets smart with a dragon screw leg whip but Kingston fights up from the mat in a nice touch. Kingston gets in some weak knees to the back but gets dropkicked in the knee to slow him down again. A middle rope knee to Blind’s head (with Eddie limping after landing on the bad knee) sets up a DDT for two. The spinning backfist (Eddie’s finisher) misses and a Michinoku Driver gives Rage two more.

Some really weak looking rapid fire chops (I have yet to see those look good from anyone) from Kingston have Rage in trouble but he gets caught in a sitout powerbomb from the corner. They’re way too spent for only being eight minutes into a match. Rage misses a top rope double stomp and rolls outside, allowing Hallowicked to run in for a DDT. A quick STF gives Rage the knockout win at 8:16.

Rating: D+. Rage really didn’t hold my interest very well here but you could see that Kingston is one of the better guys they have. He carries himself better than most guys on the roster and he actually sold the knee really well. The ending was a good idea as there’s only so much you can do to have a guy like Rage look credible against one of the biggest names in the promotion.

Kingston yells at the referee for missing the interference. Referee: “I was outside.” Kingston: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME???”

Intermission, with a lot of the wrestlers coming to ringside to sell shirts. The handful that I talked to were all very nice and it was a really pleasant experience for a change.

Challenge of the Immortals: Juan Francisco de Coronado/Proletariat Boar of Moldova vs. Jakob Hammermeier/Soldier Ant

United Nations (Coronado is one of the bigger heels in the company) vs. Bruderschaft des Kreuzes (a former mega heel stable who are now barely a thing. The United Nations take their sweet time coming to the ring with Pearlman and Remsburg taking a nap in the corner during the entrance. Pearlman does their introduction in slow motion (“Making their way to the ring……eventually…….at their own pace……”). The Boar of course has a tail. Soldier Ant seems to be under mind control of some sort (Fan: “Remember who you are Soldier Ant!”) which is likely a very interesting backstory because they always are around here.

No commentary on this match for some reason. Coronado respects Jakob for being a foreigner and offers a handshake. Jakob offers his left hand and attacks (“YOU CAN’T TRUST THE GERMANS!”) before grabbing Coronado’s bowtie. It’s time for a test of strength but both heels go for kicks to the ribs. Juan: “I THOUGHT I LIKED YOU!”

They both poke each other in the eyes and it’s off to the Boar for a spinebuster/dropkick combo. The heels (as in Coronado and the Boar) stomp away in the corner until Jakob crashes to the floor, which again counts as a tag. Soldier Ant comes in for a clothesline on Juan and a Liger Kick to the Boar. A not very giant swing sends Juan flying and it’s off to some freaky leg lock. Juan gets thrown around and then out to the floor, allowing Boar to come in instead.

The Ant beats him up too until Juan grabs his foot, only to be terrified by the Ant staring down at him (well in theory as you can’t see his face). Boar’s Samoan drop gives Juan two and the Ant’s layout powerbomb from the corner gets the same. The Ant starts boxing the Boar (another thing I never expected to type) until the tailed one kicks the Soldier outside. Jakob remembers he’s in this match and goes after the Boar, only to eat a spear for the pin at 10:49.

Rating: C. Chikara is interesting as this competition is basically throwing a bunch of people together for what feel like random matches, even though they make sense when you know the story. That being said, most of these matches are working well enough and the competition gives the match some meaning, even if it doesn’t feel like it all the time. Fun enough match here though with Soldier Ant stealing most of the show.

Blaster McMassive, a guy who is exactly what his name sounds like, snaps a Slim Jim, just like he’s going to do to Chuck Taylor’s neck tonight.

Challenge of the Immortals: Blaster McMassive vs. Chuck Taylor

Wrecking Crew vs. Gentleman’s Club. Taylor is a big star and known as the Kentucky Gentlemen (I think I have a Chikara favorite) but he’s on a retirement tour (which might see him go to WWE as he’s only 29). Chuck breaks up the posing with a dropkick to the floor, followed by a quick dive.

Back in and a jawbreaker is broken up so we hit a chinlock from Blaster. Taylor fights up for an octopus hold of all things, only to get kicked in the head for two. They slug it out until Taylor grabs a release Rock Bottom for two. There’s a DDT for the same but Taylor misses something off the top and walks into a sitout Boss Man Slam for the pin at 5:32.

Rating: C-. Quick match here but power vs. speed is still one of the best stories you can run no matter what. Another good enough match here but the time was kind of surprising. If Taylor is supposed to be a big deal, you don’t expect to see him lose in just a few minutes. Not bad but it needed more time.

Dasher’s Dugout (the team leading the competition coming into the show) is ready but they don’t like missing Young Lions Cup holder and fourth partner Heidi Lovelace. They have Princess KimberLee as a fourth though so it’s not the worst thing in the world.

Dasher Hatfield/Icarus/Mark Angelosetti/Princess KimberLee vs. Hallowicked/NRG/Heidi Lovelace

This is challengers vs. champions with Hallowicked as Grand Champion (NRG (Race Jaxon/Hype Rockwell) as Tag Team Champions and Lovelace as Young Lions Cup holder. Lovelace is usually part of Dasher’s Dugout (a sports themed team with Dasher wearing a baseball mask and Angelosetti being named Mr. Touchdown). KimberLee is a princess with purple hair.

Icarus and Hallowicked (former champion vs. the champion) start things off but it’s off to Lovelace before anything happens. Icarus isn’t clear what to do here so he wrestles slowly as they trade arm holds. Neither can hit a kick so Lovelace clotheslines him down and they slap hands before tagging out to Jaxon and Hatfield. Dasher grabs an armbar to slow Jaxon down before it’s off to Mark for a bulldog.

The much bigger Rockwell comes in to trade shoulders with Angelosetti with Mark getting the better of it. We stop for some Tebowing (with the announcers wondering if that’s still a thing) until NRG takes Mark down. That goes nowhere so here’s the Princess vs. Hallowicked for a big showdown. The Princess actually gets the best of it and kicks Hallowicked down for two. NRG tries to interfere again but gets caught by Dasher and Mark with a double headbutt to keep the good guys in control.

KimberLee puts Race in a full nelson with her legs until Jaxon springboards out of the corner for the tag off to Rockwell. Everything breaks down for a bit and Hallowicked throws Heidi to the floor to prevent a showdown with the Princess for some reason. Go To Sleepy Hollow (a GTS with a kick instead of a knee) gets two on KimberLee before it’s back to Race for two off a butterfly suplex. Hallowicked comes in and cranks on KimberLee’s arm before it’s off to Heidi for a chinlock. Hallowicked: “SHE IS OUR ENEMY! WHAT DO WE DO TO OUR ENEMY???”

A crucifix into something like Rings of Saturn has the Princess in trouble until she rolls out. Heidi and Hallowicked argue on the floor until KimberLee dives through the ropes to take them down. That means it’s off to Icarus for a bad looking hurricanrana on Rockwell as things speed way up. Dasher comes in with no tag for a wheelbarrow slam/Stunner combo (the Bo Jackson) on Race.

Jaxon gets caught in the corner for a double superplex until Rockwell makes the save by powerbombing Dasher and Mark off the top. Race moonsaults onto both of them and it’s off to KimberLee for some chops to NRG. The two of them are taken out with ease and NOW we get KimberLee vs. Lovelace. They kick it out because this is an indy promotion and we have to do it at some point.

KimberLee gets the better of it until a wicked Saito suplex sends her to the floor. Hallowicked comes in and decks Icarus before telling Heidi to get out. Lovelace says no so Hallowicked shoves her down allowing Icarus to beat up Hallowicked with strikes and a nice Sliced Bread #2. It’s time for the parade of finishers, including Heidi apologizing to Dasher for a Fameasser. A pop up Diamond Cutter seemed to hurt Heidi but here’s Eddie Kingston for the backfist to drop Hallowicked, allowing KimberLee to score the pin at 20:15.

Rating: B+. This was a lot of fun with all eight of them flying all over the place. This place is similar to Lucha Underground as the women are on equal footing with the men, making for a much more entertaining match instead of the stupid “let’s treat them differently” nonsense that you often have to see. KimberLee getting the pin is a good choice instead of the normal stuff where it’s the main World Champion contender getting the pin. This was by far and away the match of the night and a lot of fun with all eight looking awesome.

The credits roll and Alex thanks us for coming out, but here’s Bryce Remsburg to say ONE MORE MATCH.

Fire Ant vs. Oleg the Usurper

Oleg is a viking who was frozen in ice and is rapidly turning face. Fire Ant is the high flier of the former Colony and a fan favorite. Ant dives through the ropes to take him out and fires (see what I did there?) off strikes inside. A boot to the face puts Ant down though and Oleg SMACKS him in the side of the head for the pin at 1:23. Well it was just an encore.

Pearlman thanks us for coming to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a show where there’s a lot more to the show than just the wrestling. Chikara is much more about a fun show that is built up over time instead of a single show. That being said, this was a lot of fun and more than worth the money. It’s definitely a show that you can get into more if you watch regularly but as a one off, this was a lot of fun and a really entertaining night.

The main event blows away everything else but nothing was bad and it was a really fun atmosphere all night long. It felt like the wrestlers were having a good time entertaining the fans and it showed in their performances. It’s a really fun company if you want a legitimate alternative to WWE, which is often the case in name only.

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