WWE Vault Grab Bag III
Commentators: Trevin Adams, Mister Saint Laurent, Byron Saxton, Gordon Solie, Wade Barrett, Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund, Billy Graham, Ron Trongard, Lord Alfred Hayes, Joey Styles

We’ll do this again, as there are so many matches released on the Vault and I want to take a look at them. As a result, I get to put together something like a playlist of random matches. This makes for some interesting options and hopefully that is the case again here. There are no connections to these matches and that makes it more fun. Let’s get to it.

From Millennium Final (a German exclusive PPV).

European Cup: Sting vs. Kevin Nash

It’s a tournament final and boxer Axel Schultz is guest referee. Nash powers him into the corner to start and hits the elbows, including the framed one for good measure. Sting goes for the leg to take him down and the referee (in a hat) keeps checking on Nash, who has to tell him that it’s cool. Back up and Nash gets in a shot in the corner before booting a Stinger Splash away. Snake Eyes sets up the running crotch attack on the ropes for two, followed by a side slam for the same. Sting fights out of the chinlock, knocks him down and grabs the Scorpion Deathlock for the fast tap at 5:39.

Rating: C-. It was pretty clear that they didn’t want to do much here and they got out pretty quickly. That’s fair enough as Nash had already worked earlier in the show and the fans were going to go nuts for anything anyway. It was basically a quick “send them home happy” match and the fans are going to cheer for Sting no matter what.

From Evolve 63 (I told you these would be random).

Ethan Page vs. Drew Galloway

Anything goes and Galloway is of course better known as McIntyre. Page takes him down by the legs to start and the fight is on fast. They go outside with Page throwing a trashcan at him but Galloway avoids a ram into the wall. Instead Page kicks him in the face and they go up some steps, with Galloway getting in a low blow but Page knocks him back down.

A chair to the back keeps Galloway in trouble and Page suplexes him on the floor to make it worse. They fight towards the entrance with Page hitting a superkick but getting dropped hard onto the floor. Galloway sends him back into the ring and it’s time for a piece of the barricade to be thrown inside. Some chairs are tossed in as well but Page uses the delay to fight up and grabs a small ladder.

The ladder is thrown inside but page takes too long and gets chaired down again. The ladder is set up and Page gets powerbombed off for two in a big crash. Galloway can’t piledrive him onto a pair of open chairs, as Page backdrops him onto the chairs for two instead. An RKO is shoved into the chairs though and the Futureshock onto the chair gives McIntyre the pin at 14:53.

Rating: B. They did a nice job of beating each other up, though they never quite got to that next level where it felt like two people who hated each other trying to take the other out. If nothing else, it’s weird seeing Page in a big time serious singles match but he did well enough. Galloway is of course awesome at pretty much anything he does and it makes sense that WWE would want this version of him back.

We go to Florida in 1978 for a press conference, showing NWA President Eddie Graham announcing an NWA World Champion Harley Race vs. WWWF World Champion Billy Graham title vs. title match at the Orange Bowl in Miami on January 25, 1978. They both have to put up $25,000 and the purse goes 70/30. They’re both ready to win (and I know it’s them because the “hello, my name is” tags) and prove that they’re the best, with Gordon Solie having some wine. Apparently the referee is still up for debate.

At a later date, we get a face to face exchange of promos, with both of them saying pretty much exactly what you would expect. Race says he has heard this kind of thing time after time from someone who wants to be where he already is. Graham better be ready for the toughest fight he has ever had. That’s fine with Graham, who takes his shirt off to show his muscles. Race says he doesn’t need any of that because he’s already the best.

We go to the match, with special referees Gorilla Monsoon and Don Curtis. It’s pouring rain and we only see clips of the match, including the two of them fighting over a top wristlock. Graham wins the power battle and hits a running shoulder and we’re clipped to Page hitting a piledriver before tying up the leg. We’re clipped again to Graham getting the first fall with a bearhug, which is apparently 40+ minutes into the match.

Another clip shows them crashing out to the floor and Race suplexes him back in to tie the score. Graham is busted open and Race grabs a sleeper, which is broken up with a rake to the eyes. We’re clipped again to Race dropping a headbutt for two but Graham’s back elbow gets the same. Race gets the sleeper again and time expires with Graham basically out cold. I won’t rate it as it was only about seven minutes of sixty, but it was an old school slow paced fight which probably wasn’t overly great.

From Florida Championship Wrestling, January 31, 2010.

Rotundo Brothers vs. Usos

That would be Bo (Bo Dallas) and Duke (Bray Wyatt) vs. Jules (Jey) and Jimmy (Jimmy). Bo and Jimmy start things off with Bo grabbing some early rollups for two each. The front facelock has Jimmy slowed down and a middle rope clothesline sends him outside. The chase on the floor allows Jules to get in a cheap shot and hammer Bo down into the corner. A running Umaga Attack connects for two and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and a double elbow from the Usos sets up…uh, well actually a double elbow from the Usos.

Something like a Demolition Decapitator gets two and the double headbutt sets up a sliding chinlock (ok then). Bo fights up with a quick powerslam and it’s off to Duke to clean house. A headbutt that looked a bit low gets two with Jimmy making the save as everything breaks down. Bo is knocked outside and a double Samoan Spike (looked more like a double chop) finishes Duke at 5:20.

Rating: C. This is a perfect example of “oh that match happened?” and then you realize why it isn’t that well known. All four of them were still new at this whole thing so there was only going to be so much to be seen anyway. The Usos were basically getting what they would become, while the other two were miles away from their more famous versions. That’s the point of developmental though and develop they all did.

Dark match from before Monday Night Raw, July 28, 1998.

Minoru Tanaka vs. The Fallen Angel

Yes it’s Christopher Daniels, yes he has hair, and yes it’s a weird look. Tanaka kicks at the leg to start but Angel go up the corner to yell at the fans. Back down and Tanaka kicks away some more before a cross armbreaker sends Angel over to the ropes. A headscissors does the same but this time Angel is back with a spinebuster. Angel slowly pounds him down and yells at the fans some more but Tanaka is back with some more kicks.

The spinning kick misses though and Angel grabs a spinning belly to belly for two. What would become the Angel’s Wings connects and the fans certainly like that one. The cover gets two, plus a bell, with the referee having to call it off. Tanaka hits a dropkick and a backdrop driver for two each, followed by a German suplex for the pin at 5:03.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where you could see that both guys had something to them and they would get there with some more time and experience. At the same time, it’s kind of interesting that Daniels never got a run in WWE. You would think it would have happened at some point but he just never got there (while doing fine elsewhere). On the other hand you have Tanaka and….yeah I’d say he did pretty well.

From Madison Square Garden, June 16, 1984.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Iron Sheik

Boot Camp match, meaning anything goes and falls count anywhere. Slaughter gets a big pop while Sheik (with Ayatollah Blassie) is booed out of the building. Slaughter runs in and beats on Sheik with the helmet as they’re certainly starting fast. Sheik gets whipped with the riding crop and the fans are going absolutely nuts. Some stick shots to the throat have Sheik in more trouble and a headbutt with the helmet makes it even worse.

The slingshot sends Sheik into the corner but he reverses a whip, allowing Slaughter to do his signature crash over the corner. That’s good for two on the floor and it’s so weird to see this kind of thing in the WWF. Back in and Sheik whips him with a belt before going with some simple choking. Slaughter manages to fight back up and sends him outside, followed by a hard shot to the back inside. Sheik’s boot to the head doesn’t get him very far and Slaughter punches him down for a double breather.

Slaughter sends him crashing out to the floor, where a backbreaker gets two. They’re quickly back inside where Sheik loads up the boot (uh oh), with Slaughter blocking the ram into said boot. Instead Sheik sends him into the post and it’s time to start the spitting. Slaughter is busted open so Sheik bites at the head and kicks him with the loaded boot. Slaughter fights out of the corner and hits a middle rope…uh, flying kick to the head (almost a Stomp), with Sheik being busted open as well.

The big right hands, including the wind up version, drop Sheik for two (with the referee getting back inside to count, as it’s a fight otherwise) but the Slaughter Cannon is cut off. Sheik hits the gutwrench suplex for two more, followed by a regular suplex for another two. With nothing else working, Sheik takes his boot off but walks into the Slaughter Cannon. Slaughter grabs the loaded boot, loads it even more, and knocks Sheik silly for the pin to blow the roof off the place at 15:58.

Rating: A-. I wasn’t expecting much from this but they beat the fire out of each other and the fans were totally hooked. Slaughter was on fire at this point and it was great to see him getting this kind of a reception. At the same time, the Sheik was more than holding up his end. I know he gets all of the attention for being insane, but he can absolutely hang in there with anyone. This was great and absolutely worth seeing.

Dark match from before the November 23, 2007 Smackdown.

Drew McIntyre introduces this one, saying it’s a dark match that everyone wanted to see, though it should probably have stayed in the Vault.

Nasty Boys vs. Drew McIntyre/Dave Taylor

This is an infamous one. The Boys certainly take their time getting to the ring and Sags makes sure to pose a lot on the floor as Knobbs drives Taylor into the corner to start. Taylor does it right back to him as the fans certainly like the Boys. Knobbs hammers away with right hands and grabs a hiptoss. The Boys send McIntyre and Taylor into each other and it’s off to McIntyre, who wants Sags.

McIntyre gets sent hard into the corner for some chops, followed by a hard running clothesline for two. Knobbs comes back in for an elbow drop and the Pit Stop makes things even worse for McIntyre. A hard pumphandle slam gives Sags two and it’s back to Taylor for some uppercuts. Sags avoids a charge and McIntyre runs into Taylor, allowing Sags to come back in for a fireman’s carry/facebuster combination. Ignoring that Sags completely misses McIntyre’s head and Knobbs just drops him, it’s enough for the pin at 5:20.

Rating: D+. There’s a reason this match is more infamous than famous and a lot of it is due to the Boys apparently being very rough with McIntyre. They were also out of shape and then spent a LONG time celebrating after the match, to the point where the start of Smackdown was rushed. If you watch it on its own, it’s just a not very good tag match, but this was all about the behind the scenes stuff and details.

From Madison Square Garden, June 25, 1988 (this is on a bunch of home video releases but let’s see it again).

WWF Title: Randy Savage vs. Ted DiBiase

Savage, with Elizabeth (to counter DiBiase’s Virgil), is defending in a cage. DiBiase jumps him to start fast and Savage is sent into the corner, which just fires him up (like it takes a lot). The comeback is cut off with an elbow to the face though and DiBiase stomps away again. It’s way too early for an escape attempt though and Savage sends him into the corner over and over.

Savage ducks his head though and gets hit in the face as Elizabeth is doing her usual worried face. There’s the fist drop from DiBiase (which always looked great and does here again) but it’s still way too early to climb out. Savage is sent hard into the cage and then dropped with a clothesline but he’s able to cut off DiBiase’s climb again. Virgil earns his pay by going up to stop Savage’s escape attempt though and they’re both back down.

This time Savage reverses a whip into the cage and gets a needed breather. Another climb is cut off by Virgil and DiBiase is there to hammer away. Savage’s clothesline puts both of them down again and he goes for the door, with DiBiase making his own save this time. This results in Graham suggesting that Elizabeth gain about 80lbs of muscle so she can be more valuable in these situations.

With that disturbing image out of the way, it’s a double clothesline to leave both of them down again. They both go up a different corner and of course Virgil is there for the save. A suplex puts DiBiase down and an atomic drop sends him into the cage again. Savage goes for the door and Virgil slams the door onto his head.

DiBiase tries to get out and gets pulled back inside so they can slug it out from their knees. Another ram into the cage puts DiBiase down again and Savage climbs, with Virgil cutting him off AGAIN. This time a fan even climbs the cage and is quickly pulled down, leaving Savage to get in a double noggin knocker and drop down to retain at 12:21.

Rating: B+. This was one of those matches where it felt like a fight between two guys in a structure designed to make it more violent. There weren’t very many matches like this one from this era and this is one of the best, as you had two incredible talents who worked very well together. They feuded for a long time and this was probably their best match, which is quite the accomplishment.

From ECW Wrestlepalooza 1998.

TV Title: Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is defending and Bill Alfonso is officially managing both of them. As a bonus, crooked referee Judge Jeff Jones is in refereeing the match. Sabu dives for the legs to start but can’t get anywhere, leaving Van Dam smirking a bit. The fourth or so attempt works but Van Dam is right back up to miss a kick to the head. Van Dam takes him down with a quickly broken headscissors and they bounce off the ropes a bit for the standoff.

Alfonso approves and Van Dam does the Sabu pose before offering a pat on the back. Actually hang on as Van Dam gets the mic to say they’re not going to fight because they have a plan. We get a tease of double teaming Jones but Sabu kicks Van Dam in the face to take over, with the plan apparently being dropped. A slingshot flipping legdrop gets two on Van Dam and Sabu sends him to the floor for the flip dive.

Back in and the single arm camel clutch goes on, with Van Dam looking…well about the same really. With that broken up, Sabu flips over him, followed by Van Dam doing the same (albeit to Sabu rather than himself). Van Dam kicks him down and hits the corkscrew legdrop for his own near fall. Naturally Alfonso is suddenly a huge Van Dam fan, which is a perfectly logical move for him.

The surfboard has Sabu in more trouble and the slingshot legdrop on the apron connects, with Van Dam crashing out to the floor. Back in and Van Dam grabs a half crab, with Alfonso’s whistling getting all the more annoying. The rope actually gets Sabu out of trouble so Van Dam kicks him in the face. That lets Van Dam bridge a table between the apron and the barricade but Sabu is right there with a dive. The triple jump dive is loaded up but Van Dam gets off the table, only for Sabu to hit a big dive into the crowd anyway.

Back in and Sabu pelts a chair at Van Dam’s head so they’re already back on the floor. Van Dam fights back but Alfonso won’t hold a chair for him, with Alfonso saying he’ll call it down the line and be a winner no matter what. Smart move really, in a Bobby Heenan at the 1989 Royal Rumble way. Sabu is back up with a crotching onto the barricade into an Asai moonsault. The triple jump moonsault misses back inside though and Alfonso is pro Van Dam again.

Van Dam knocks him outside for a crash and there’s the big no hands flip dive for the cool visual. A suplex from the apron through a table is blocked and Sabu’s not great looking springboard moonsault hits Van Dam in the ropes. Van Dam is sent back onto the table as Joey Styles is having a hard time believing that these two are friends. Sabu uses the chair as a stepping stone to the ropes, setting up a DDT onto the table.

Back in and Sabu throws the chair at Van Dam’s head again, setting up a hurricanrana through the table. This means a lot more waiting around as they get to whatever they have in mind next, which is the main theme of the match. Van Dam fights back and catapults him throat first into the bottom rope, setting up a top rope legdrop onto the chair onto Sabu’s face. They go outside (again) where Sabu gets in a hurricanrana off the barricade. Back in and a quick Van Daminator gives Van Dam two and the Five Star connects for the same in a rare kickout.

The monkey flip out of the corner sends Sabu crashing onto the chair for an arrogant two. That’s not good for Sabu, who hits an Arabian Facebuster onto the back of the head for two of his own. Another table is loaded up but it’s already broken so Van Dam kicks him through the rest of the thing.

Van Dam brings in another table and kicks him onto it, followed by a heck of a chair shot to the head. The Five Star through the table only gets two (good grief) and a lifting Pedigree gives Van Dam the same. Sabu is back up with some kicks into a slingshot legdrop for two of his own as they’re somehow getting even slower. A split legged moonsault gets two, as does Sabu’s Arabian press…and time expires at 30:02 (close enough).

Rating: C-. There were some great spots in there, but it was ridiculous to see the two of them kicking out time after time. It was cool to see them doing their stuff, even with Sabu’s usual sloppiness, but they were really dragging near the end and spent far too much of the match selling. I liked the idea of Alfonso calling it right down the line and wanting to leave with the champion, but that wasn’t enough to overcome the annoying aspects here.

Post match they seem to be ok.

Overall Rating: B. As usual it’s hard to give this an overall rating as it’s not meant to be a regular show, but with some actual rarities and two classics, I’ll definitely take this one as an entertaining set. Granted it helped that I picked the matches included, but it was mostly good stuff. As usual, the WWE Vault is one of the best things going in wrestling today and hopefully that continues for a long time to come.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

WCW Hardcore Collection
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden, Stevie Ray

Now this is just screaming BAD IDEA. Like everything else they stole from the WWF, WCW had a hardcore division and believe it or not, it was a mess. Most of it was built around comedy and while it had some moments, it mostly missed the point of being comic relief. I’m almost scared to know what they have in mind here but let’s get to it.

From Spring Stampede 1999.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Hak

Hak is better known as Sandman from ECW. They brawl in the aisle before the bell to start fast and Hak pulls out a table from underneath a wagon (because WCW had some AMAZING pay per view sets). A Swanton off the wagon sends Bigelow through the table as Hak’s manager Chastity is pulling out weapons. Bigelow comes back by ramming Hak into the laundry cart he used to bring the weapons to the ring.

A crutch to the back and face rock Hak and they go inside, where Hak blasts him with a trashcan. Bigelow hits him in the head with a cookie sheet, with Schiavone saying he doesn’t think it hurts as much as some other things. A broom to the back keeps Hak in trouble and lets commentary talk about curling. Bigelow hits him with a salad bowl but Hak tries a suplex, only to hurt his own knee.

Therefore, the best solution is to bring in a ladder. Hak puts it on Bigelow’s back and of course drops a Swanton, followed by a bulldog onto said ladder. A table is set up at ringside and Hak climbs the ladder, naturally being sent through the table for a massive crash. Back in and Hak is sent into the ladder, followed by crotching himself on a piece of barricade.

Chastity comes in with a fire extinguisher…but it doesn’t work, only for Bigelow to spray her instead. Hak hits him in the back with the kendo stick and grabs a White Russian legsweep. Instead of covering, they go up, with Bigelow hitting Greetings From Asbury Park through a table for the pin at 11:35.

Rating: C. Not the most thrilling start to the set but it shows you what can go wrong when you just let people hit each other with weapons. There was really nothing that made this stand out and it was little more than two guys doing stuff until one of them won. In other words, this was just trying to tap into the ECW style without looking at why it worked.

From Thunder, April 7, 1999 (four days before Spring Stampede).

Hak vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Whipwreck starts with some armdrags and Hak bails to the floor for an early breather. Back in and they go to the mat for some grappling with Hak getting the better of things. Hak sends him outside for an eye rake from Chastity. Whipwreck sends him into the barricade and a Russian legsweep sends Hak into the barricade. Back in and Whipwreck hits a top rope clothesline for two and we take a break.

We come back with Hak whipping him into the barricade and then draping Whipwreck over said barricade. A legdrop off the apron hits Whipwreck again but he’s back with a slingshot Fameasser to cut Hak off back inside. Whipwreck puts a chair in front of Hak’s face in the Tree Of Woe for a running dropkick.

A twisting middle rope dive only hits chair though and Hak drapes him over the top. There’s the top rope legdrop to the back, followed by a slingshot legdrop onto a chair onto Whipwreck. Chastity throws in a kendo stick but Whipwreck intercepts it and hammers away. That’s cut off though and a White Russian legsweep finishes for Hak at 8:00.

Rating: C. Whipwreck was trying here but there is only so much you can do when there is no reason to care about either of these two. At the end of the day, this just feels lifeless and that’s one of the worst things that can happen on any wrestling show. Nothing to see here, even with Whipwreck being a bit of a change of pace.

Post match Bam Bam Bigelow comes out with the Greetings From Asbury Park on Hak. Bigelow says he’ll see Hak at Spring Stampede, because this collection is oddly constructed.

From Slamboree 1999.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Brian Knobbs

Knobbs throws the weapons in to start, including a pizza pan to the head. Some trashcan shots to the head seem to wake Bigelow up, as he kicks the trashcan into Knobbs’ face. Something close to a Big Ending gives Bigelow a delayed two and a Swan Dive gets the same. Commentary gets in a weird argument with Tenay’s microphone being cut off, with Knobbs coming back with a chair shot.

They go outside, with Knobbs being sent into the steps and Bigelow blasts him the dreaded pizza pan. Some trashcan lids to the head (ala cymbals) crush Knobbs’ head but he sends Bigelow into a laundry cart. Knobbs’ charge crashes into said cart, only to come back with some more trashcan shots.

The fight heads back up to the set, with Knobbs crashing into the WCW.com location. They find a merchandise stand which is only there for the sake of the fight and then go backstage, where Knobbs finds a ladder. It’s back to the merchandise stand, where Knobbs…I think misses an elbow off the balcony. Bigelow suplexes him through a table for the win at 11:31. Heenan: “And they do this for a living!”

Rating: C+. Now we’re getting somewhere, as this stopped being the “I hit you, you hit me” style and started to get more fun. One of the keys to this kind of match being entertaining is to go somewhere or to use something out of the ordinary and we hadn’t see that in the first few matches. It’s still only so good, but this was a step in the right direction.

From Monday Nitro, June 7, 1999.

La Parka/Silver King vs. Ciclope/Damien

Mexican Death Match so Parka chairs Ciclope while the music is still playing. King chairs Damien and they’re just going straight to the weapons. King gets knocked down and Parka is sent face first into a trashcan in the corner. Ciclope (the Great Pumpkin according to Schiavone) puts a trashcan over Parka so Damien can kick him, followed by a backdrop to the floor.

A baseball slide sends a chair into Parka’s face but he grabs the chair and BLASTS a diving Ciclope out of the air (that looked GREAT). That lets Parka do his chair dance but Damien dropkicks him down, only for King to dropkick Damien down. King tries a dive, which Damien cuts off by tossing a chair up to knock him out of the air. Heenan: “OH IS THIS GREAT!”

Damien is put in a chair and Parka hits a big suicide dive to crush him again. Back in and King throws a trashcan over the top and onto Ciclope, setting up an Asai moonsault onto all three of them. More weapons are brought in and commentary is getting more and more into this. Back in and Parka loads up a chair and then pulls Damien off the top, sending him face first into said chair for two. Parka takes Damien up top but gets hit with a trashcan lid, which goes flying out of Ciclope’s hand, with Schiavone having to make the cage.

Ciclope gets backdropped to the floor before fighting on the apron with King. That’s fine with King, who grabs a tornado DDT through a table. That leaves Parka to reverse Damien’s super hurricanrana into a superbomb through a table…for two. Schiavone: “HE KICKED OUT OF BEING POWERBOMBED!!!” Heenan: “WHY???” Parka powerbombs Damien onto two open chairs (THUD) for the pin at 7:15.

Rating: B+. As soon as I saw this compilation, I was hoping they would include this one. This match stood out when I saw it airing live and when I went back to watch the show twenty plus years later. This was four guys who were pretty much never going to get another chance going out there and leaving everything they had in the ring. They beat the living daylights out of each other and I got pulled into it all over again, with commentary having a blast in their own right. This was easily one of the biggest surprises in WCW history and it definitely holds up.

From Bash At The Beach 1999 (oh I knew this one would be on there).

Junkyard Invitational

So this is one of WCW’s brilliant ideas: having about fifteen people (we never get a list of names) fight IN A REAL JUNKYARD. AT NIGHT! There’s a camera in a helicopter and some handheld cameras but other than that, it’s just a wild setup so don’t expect anything in the way of play by play. The brawl starts and Public Enemy turns a car over and Jerry Flynn plugs a cable into an engine to shoot some sparks.

This lets commentary explain that you win by being the first person to get over a fence. Knobbs and King fight on a car as Heenan says we can’t really call this. Some people (we can’t see them) hit each other with bumpers as we see Finlay, Hugh Morrus, William Regal (who said that he hid in cars, did a few spots, and then hid again to avoid getting hurt, because he’s smart). Hak (who challenged people to the match) is on a car and throwing punches as one of the cameras starts glitching.

Morrus misses an elbow from one car onto another as Jimmy Hart is standing nearby in a helmet (Schiavone: “We have a Jimmy Hart shining.”) and Finlay hits Knobbs with a trashcan. Rock is sent through the window of a van, leaving Morrus to drop the same elbow he tried a moment ago but this time it hits. Someone (Schiavone: “Who was that that was airborne?” Heenan: “Who knows? Who cares?”) dives onto a big pile and Rock is sent through a windshield.

Heenan goes into a funny bit about selling cars as the people just start throwing things at each other. We see Mikey Whipwreck for the first time about eight minutes in as Morrus misses a charge into a window. Finlay uses a trashcan lid to block a punch and then Dave Taylor gets a tire wrapped around him.

Rock and Horace FINALLY go over to the fence, with Horace cutting off an escape attempt. Now it’s time to go back to the brawling and we go to a helicopter shot just in case you were getting an idea of what was going on. Taylor dances out of the tire and Hak staggers over to a car. Finlay is put into the trunk (Heenan: “This is not 75 in Atlanta!”) and here’s a forklift to send that car to the crusher. Finlay gets out of the trunk and the car is destroyed, with the forklift not being seen again (as it wasn’t seen before either). Finlay turns a barrel of fire over and climbs out as a well timed explosion gives him cover at 12:58.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling, but rather one of those all time “WHY DID THEY DO THIS” moments. There were no entrances, there was no structure to the whole thing, there were all kinds of injuries (including Finlay), it didn’t really help anyone and (possibly) above all else, you couldn’t even see what was going on. This was one of those things where they needed someone to stop and ask why they were doing this and then realize there was no reason to, because it was a disaster.

From Thunder, May 31, 2000.

Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Chris Candido

Funk is defending and chairs Candido on the ramp to start fast. They fight to the back and let’s look at commentary (Schiavone: “We are on camera!”) as a camera isn’t ready. We pick things up in the back with Funk knocking him into the back of a truck…and driving away. The referee gives chase (that man deserves a raise) as it’s back to commentary as they’re not sure what is going on.

We pick up the shot with the truck driving along (I’m assuming later in the show) and let’s go to a stable. Candido hits him with a trashcan and Schiavone can’t believe we’re seeing horses. And of course there’s a table, which commentary finds rather amusing. Funk is sent into some bales of hay and then into a water trough, and then into some manure. A horse stall door to the head staggers (well staggers even more) Funk so he sends Candido into a wall. The horse is NOT happy with this and gets even angrier when Funk piledrives Candido.

The horse seems to kick Candido in the arm and comes THIS CLOSE to kicking Funk in the head (which would have possibly killed him, so yes Funk does in fact threaten the horse). They go back outside, where Candido kicks him low and puts him on the table, then climbs the stall. Funk uses a rope to pull him through said table…and trashcans the referee in the head. Funk covers Candido, but has to pour water on the referee so he can make the count at 5:30 shown.

Rating: B. This was a blast and one of the most entertaining things I’ve seen in a good while. Terry Funk is an absolute treasure as he can make anything work, including teasing getting in a fight with a horse. Something tells me this was almost all Funk’s idea and they just let the two of them do whatever, which made for a hilarious match as Funk got to have fun.

From Monday Nitro, August 14, 2000.

Hardcore Title: Carl Ouellet vs. Norman Smiley

Smiley is challenging and we had to get to his era sooner or later. Ouellet (better known as PCO) hammers away to start and it’s time to head outside, as the weapons are waiting on them. It’s already time for a table but Smiley tries to fight back. That earns him a big running flip dive over the top and they head back inside. Smiley hits him low with a broomstick but Ouellet runs him over with a trashcan.

The table is set up in the corner but Smiley manages a quick clothesline. The spinning slam sets up the Big Wiggle (Madden: “Maybe Norman’s a big more hardcore than we thought.”), which is broken up, allowing Ouellet to hit a low blow. A sitout Rock Bottom plants Smiley again and Ouellet puts him on the table…but the Cannonball misses, allowing Smiley to fall on top for the pin and the title at 5:56.

Rating: C. It’s pretty much a nothing match, but Smiley was a huge part of the division and you had to include him in there somehow. This was leaning more into the comedy, as Smiley basically won the match by mistake. It’s a big departure from what’s been going on but in this case, that’s fine enough.

From Monday Nitro, October 30, 2000.

Hardcore Title: Reno vs. Kwee Wee

Reno is defending and gets jumped from behind with a trashcan lid. A sunset flip off the barricade gives Wee two but Reno fights back without much trouble. Naturally the fans want tables because that’s all they ever want. A pink trashcan to the back puts Wee down again and Reno hits a kendo stick shot off the apron.

Wee manages to send him into the barricade and then does it again to take Reno down again. What looks like a stickball bat is used to choke Reno up the ramp but here are the Natural Born Thrillers to cut Wee off. The Thrillers do their awesome toss to send Wee from the floor and over the top, setting up Roll The Dice to retain the title at 5:19.

Rating: C-. I’m assuming this was just in there for the Thrillers’ toss, which was awesome but didn’t have much to do with the match. This was a pretty weak entry, but the company was all but dead so there were only so many positives to be found. That wasn’t the case here and it was just kind of a quick and unimportant match.

From Sin.

Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Crowbar vs. Meng

Funk is defending and Crowbar (who idolizes Funk) attacks him with a chair to take things to the back. The fight heads into a restroom and a woman screaming can be heard. Funk hits him in the head with a trashcan (including trash) as Meng is still on his way from the ring to the backstage area. Funk sends Crowbar into a stall as Daphne screams a lot (ah that makes sense) as Meng shows up to hit Funk with a mop bucket.

Some trashcan shots knock Funk back into the arena but Crowbar is back up to hit Meng with a fire extinguisher. Funk tosses the trashcan into Meng’s face and the other two ram Meng’s face into a metal wall. Naturally Meng shrugs that off and gives them a double noggin knocker. With that not working, Crowbar and Funk fight back and slam a bunch of chairs onto Meng for two.

Back up and Crowbar sprays Funk with a fire extinguisher before hitting him with a laptop. Funk is put onto a table and Crowbar goes into a balcony for a big legdrop, knocking both of them out. Meng is back with a low blow to Crowbar but he’s able to slug back anyway. Funk is back up with a snow shovel to the head (and Meng crumples down) and it’s time for a piece of the barricade.

Funk slams Crowbar through the barricade, with Crowbar’s leg being stuck between the rungs. Thankfully Crowbar gets up and fights back with the chair before Pillmanizing Funk’s leg. Funk is right back up to punch away until Crowbar dropkicks the leg out. Meng is back in as Crowbar grabs a Figure Four on Funk. That’s broken up with a heck of a top rope splash from Meng to Crowbar, followed by a piledriver…but Funk breaks up the cover. Because of course he does.

Meng’s middle rope splash gets two as Crowbar uses the chair for the save. Crowbar and Funk unload with chair shots to Meng’s head (assuming they can get that far past the hair) before Crowbar chairs Funk in the head. Meng pops back up and superkicks a chair into Crowbar’s head. Meng’s Tongan Death Grip finishes Funk for the title, which Meng then took to the WWF when he left a week later because WCW gave him the title without having him signed to a contract.

Rating: B. That shovel shot alone was worth a look as Meng just went down in an awesome visual. What made this work was three guys having a good time in a fight, as Crowbar and Funk were trying (and failing) to stop the monster. It’s way too later to matter, but I can appreciate people trying when they are given the chance. Crowbar was giving it his everything here and Funk was his usual self, which made for a good show.

Overall Rating: B-. This started very slowly and then turned into a lot of fun. The key was figuring out that hardcore was basically a glorified joke and then it got fun in a hurry. Stuff like Hak and Knobbs just hitting each other with weapons gets old fast, but Funk beating up Candido in a stable was entertaining and different. WCW’s hardcore division wasn’t great most of the time, but the best of it was very good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: October 19, 2007
Location: NEC, Birmingham, England
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Cyber Sunday is in less than ten days and that means it is time for WWE to hammer home the matches that they want picked. Last week’s show featured a bit ending as Undertaker interrupted a #1 contenders match and signaled that he wanted the title. World Heavyweight Champion Batista seemed interested so I think we have a pay per view main event. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We look at Undertaker interrupting Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio from last week before signaling that he wanted Batista’s World Title. The match is officially set for Cyber Sunday and YOU can pick the referee!

Great Khali vs. Kane

Wrestlemania rematch and Runjin Singh is here with Khali. Kane slugs away to start but gets punched down. The big boot sets up the nerve hold and Khali powers him down for daring to try a comeback. Kane has to go to the ropes to break the Vice Grip so Khali elbows him in the corner. The right hands get Kane out of the corner/trouble with the top rope clothesline taking Khali down. Khali knocks him outside for daring to try the chokeslam and some choking with a camera cord is enough to draw the DQ.

Rating: D. Yeah what else were you expecting here? This was short and to the point with Kane not being able to get very far against this kind of power. Khali gets some of his heat back by dominating someone like Kane, who is heading to ECW sooner or later anyway. Sometimes some dominance like this is a good thing and that is what we had here.

Post match Kane fights back and takes Khali down with a bell shot but here is Big Daddy V (with Matt Striker) from ECW to interrupt. V crushes Kane with a Ghetto (Samoan) drop and stands tall.

Post break, Striker talks about how awesome V is and declares him the rocket to the top.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Chris Masters

Rematch, because WWE wants to ruin Palumbo (here with Michelle McCool). Masters gets taken to the mat with a headlock takeover to start and Palumbo takes him to the floor for a brief chase. Back in and Palumbo counters a suplex into a delayed version of his own. That doesn’t get him very far so Masters cranks on both arms, which fires Palumbo up for the comeback. A top rope shoulder drops Masters but here is Victoria to jump McCool. The distraction lets Masters grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. Why does WWE think this is the way to go? Masters’ biography is two lines long: he’s strong and he uses a full nelson. That doesn’t make him interesting, and I’m not sure why WWE insists on giving him one feud after another. Giving him Victoria as a sidekick isn’t some saving grace, but rather just window curtains over a brick wall. Palumbo was iffy at best but putting him Masters is like cutting the wheels off of his motorcycle. Nothing to see here, other than Masters continuing to exist around here for whatever reason.

MVP comes up to Matt Hardy in the back and says they have become champions but also friends. Like Michael Jordan and Steve Kerr or Tiger Woods and his caddie! Matt says they are going to have a wrestling, boxing or mixed martial arts match at Cyber Sunday but for tonight, he’s good on going out there on his own. I don’t think Matt’s heart is in this team.

Raw Rebound.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay

Finlay runs him over for an early two to start so Matt is back up with a headlock. The fans seem to approve of said headlock as the HARDY chants start up until Finlay drives him into the ropes. Some kicks send Finlay to the floor for the dropkick through the ropes from Hardy. Finlay is fine enough to drive him back first into the apron and it’s a half crab going on back inside.

After escaping “that leg hold” (as Cole puts it), Hardy gets clotheslined down and put in a reverse chinlock. That’s broken up as well and Matt starts the comeback, including the running bulldog out of the corner. The Twist of Fate is blocked so Matt goes up, only to get knocked out of the air. Finlay covers and grabs the turnbuckle pad, which is pulled off during the kickout. Cue MVP to prevent Finlay going for the Shillelagh though, allowing Hardy to grab the Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: C. Another short match here, with Finlay being his usual brawling self, which is always worth at least a look. The more interesting story here though is Hardy and MVP starting to come together after a long time, which I’m sure will last forever. Still though, it is a story that is somehow still keeping my interest after several months. That’s pretty impressive.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brian Major

Dave Taylor and Brett Major are here too. Feeling out process to start with McIntyre going after the arm but getting taken down into an armbar. Back up and Major’s cross body is countered into a throat first drop across the top rope. McIntyre’s cravate is broken up but Major misses a slingshot dive onto Taylor. After an uppercut, Taylor throws him back in for a Downward Spiral to give McIntyre the pin.

Rating: C-. McIntyre continues to not exactly impress to start but there is only so much to be gained from needing help against the Major Brothers. That being said, they seem to be doing something with him and that is better than nothing. Taylor as the manager is fine for now, but I don’t think he is going to be the best way to go for McIntyre for that much longer.

Video on Undertaker vs. Batista, which makes it feel quite epic. As it should.

JBL is in the ring for an interview with Batista. After hyping up the rivalry with Undertaker and plugging himself as the best choice for referee, JBL brings out Batista to quite the reaction. Batista: “I’m sorry, you’re still talking?” JBL says he’s leading the voting right now but Batista warns him to stay out of the way. That’s fine with JBL, who plugs Batista’s autobiography, which suggests that Batista is afraid of Undertaker. That isn’t true and Batista goes to leave, with JBL calling him a coward. Batista comes back in and shoves him down, leaving JBL looking angry/stunned.

Post break, JBL goes on a very JBL style rant against Batista.

The Diva Search girls do their best Baywatch impression, including running in slow motion. Next week: interrogation.

Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore vs. Deuce N Domino

Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino and this is fallout from the two of three of them beating up Yang last week. Domino and Yang start things off with Yang chopping him to the floor and hitting the big slingshot dive. Moore comes in for some grappling but gets driven into the corner. A side slam gets two on Moore and Deuce grabs a chinlock. That doesn’t last long as Moore escapes and rolls over for the tag off to Yang. Everything breaks down and Moore pulls Domino out to the floor. Yang’s moonsault press finishes Deuce.

Rating: C-. And that’s going to be it for Deuce N Domino. I’m sure they’ll be around for a little longer, but you don’t come back from losing clean to a thrown together cruiserweight team. Deuce N Domino have been steadily falling down the card and now they are about as long as you can be while still being a team. You know, because the Smackdown tag division has so much depth to waste an established team like this one.

Jamie Noble comes in to see Vickie Guerrero and is in pretty rough shape after facing Great Khali last week. Noble suggests that Vickie’s hormones made her make such a decision last week, but he’s willing to help her with anything around here. That sounds good to Vickie, who makes Noble vs. Undertaker for later tonight. Noble’s reaction is the pure panic that you would expect.

Jamie Noble vs. Undertaker

Oddly enough, Undertaker comes out first. Noble hammers away in the corner to start and is promptly chokeslammed. The Tombstone finishes in less than a minute and a half.

Cyber Sunday rundown.

SAVE US!

MVP vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title. Rey starts fast and loads up an early missed 619. MVP runs him over for an early two but misses a charge and falls out to the floor. The slingshot dive hits MVP but bangs up Rey’s knee at the same time. MVP is fine enough to hit a gorilla press drop over the top and onto the mat as we take a break. Back with Rey fighting out of a front facelock but charging into an overhead belly to belly. Rey’s springboard spinning crossbody gets two and the 619 connects, only to have MVP kick him out of the air for two. Cue Finlay to go after MVP for the DQ.

Rating: C. They were starting to get going when Finlay ran in. That’s a good choice though, as you don’t want either of these two losing before they go into a big match at Cyber Sunday. It also ties into the story from earlier tonight, making this a rather logical match. Maybe not the most satisfying as I wanted to see more of the match, but it did make sense.

Post match Rey takes Finlay down and poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The British shows can be a bit off and that was the case again here. Nothing major seemed to happen here as it’s more about pushing fans to vote for certain choices at Cyber Sunday. It leaves some of these shows being a bit less than enthralling, but hopefully they can push things a bit harder next week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: October 12, 2007
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re done with No Mercy and Batista is still the World Champion, having vanquished Great Khali in the Punjabi Prison. That leaves a vacancy in the #1 contenders slow and there is a good chance we’ll get it covered this week, as Cyber Sunday is coming up. I’m just not sure who it is going to be. Let’s get to it.

Here is No Mercy if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Punjabi Prison match, with Batista retaining the World Title over Great Khali.

Opening sequence.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Chris Masters

Palumbo has Michelle McCool with him and this is fallout from Masters attacking Palumbo last week. Masters gets driven into the corner to start and some forearms to the back set up a big clothesline. A suplex drops Masters again as this is one sided so far. Masters avoids an elbow though and hits his own suplex for two. The reverse chinlock doesn’t last long as Palumbo is back up, only to get slammed right back down for two more. The Masterlock attempt doesn’t work and Palumbo hammers away. Masters misses a clothesline and gets rolled up for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. I know they’re trying with Palumbo but he’s not exactly stealing the show and a feud with Masters isn’t going to do much better. You’re only going to get so far with such a low level opponent as it makes Palumbo feel like someone who doesn’t matter that much. Palumbo is ok enough, but this feels like such low stakes and it isn’t working.

Post match Palumbo gets back on his motorcycle but Masters jumps him and puts on the Masterlock. Great. A rematch.

The Brothers of Destruction are back tonight.

Video on Big Daddy V.

Jesse And Festus vs. Jay Adams/Conrad Carnes

Jesse explains the idea behind Festus again before locking up with Adams to start. Cole compares it to Spider-Man and Peter Parker, which doesn’t go well with JBL. Jesse takes Adams down rather easily and it’s off to Festus to knock Carnes down. Carnes tries some forearms to the back and gets knocked down with a big boot to the face. It’s back to Jesse for a sunset flip as we cut to Deuce N Domino and Cherry watching in the back. A few shots put Jesse down but get gets over to Festus to clean house. Everything breaks down and a Rocket Launcher top rope shoulder gives Jesse the pin on Carnes.

Rating: C-. Festus is a good idea idea and he looks good when he gets the hot tag but Jesse is just kind of there. What matters here is that there is a new team, as the division has been all of two teams for far too long now. Just having someone fresh in there helps and maybe they can help pick things up a bit.

Deuce N Domino mock Jesse and Festus when Jamie Noble of all people comes in. He isn’t trying to cause any trouble but he heard Jimmy Wang Yang making some suggestive comments about Cherry. Noble whispers them to Deuce and it’s off to Vickie Guerrero’s office, with Noble being dragged off with them.

Brett Major vs. Drew McIntyre

There’s your historical moment. This is McIntyre’s debut and he has Dave Taylor with him, as Brian Major is here with Brett. We get an inset interview with McIntyre, who is applying for dual citizenship and would love to hear some USA chants. McIntyre drives him into the corner to start and grabs a front facelock. Brett reverses into one of his own and takes McIntyre down. An elbow into a legdrop gets two but Taylor hits Brian on the floor. That’s enough of a distraction for McIntyre to grab a rollup pin to complete a rather lackluster debut. McIntyre was just there and had nothing to make himself stand out here, making this pretty dull.

We get some rapid fire questions with the final four Diva Search girls. Next week: Search And Rescue as this stuff gets dumber week after week.

MVP and Matt hardy make sure that they’re both ready for the Brothers of Destruction tonight. They seem to be good.

Brothers of Destruction vs. MVP/Matt Hardy

Non-title. Matt’s waistlock on Kane doesn’t exactly work as Kane elbows him in the face to drop him fast. Undertaker comes in but Old School is broken up, allowing MVP to get in a clothesline from the apron. This goes as well as you would expect, with MVP and Hardy being sent outside as we take an early break.

Back with Kane coming in to beat on MVP but he misses a charge into the corner, allowing MVP to hammer away in the corner. There’s the running big boot and it’s Matt coming back in. Kane seems to like this better as Matt is driven into the other corner for the tag off to Undertaker. It’s back to MVP, who gets dropped by Old School for two before Kane adds the side slam.

The top rope clothesline gives Kane two, setting up Undertaker sending him into the steps (leaving MVP’s eyes bugging out at the pain). The apron legdrop gets two but Kane charges into a knee in the corner, allowing Matt to hit the middle rope elbow. Kane isn’t having this Twist of Fate stuff though and kicks Matt in the face. The second attempt works better for Matt but MVP tags himself in. That’s enough of a delay for Undertaker to come back in and wreck some more things. For some reason MVP decides to kick Undertaker in the face, earning Matt a right hand off the apron. The Tombstone gives Undertaker the pin on MVP.

Rating: C. This was little more than a squash, as Matt and MVP seemed to be more annoying to Undertaker and Kane than anything else. That being said, while they’re the Tag Team Champions, Matt and MVP don’t get along and are hardly a dominant team in the first place. I’m not wild on the champs losing, but getting beaten up by Undertaker and Kane is hardly some stunning upset.

SAVE US!

Raw Rebound.

New interviewer Anastasia Rose talks to Rey Mysterio, who gets to face Finlay in a #1 contenders match tonight. Rey got played by Finlay at No Mercy and he didn’t like that, but he’s down to play dirty too. He and Batista are friends, but he wants the title. If he has to go through Finlay, Rey is ready to fight too.

We recap Teddy Long’s heart attack, though he is now out of intensive care.

Vickie Guerrero tells Jamie Noble that Teddy should be home by next week. Jamie brags about what he did to Jimmy Wang Yang earlier. As a result, Vickie gives him a match of his own….against Great Khali.

Great Khali vs. Jamie Noble

Noble looks terrified to start and gets shoved down with as much effort as you would expect. There’s the big chop and Noble gets tossed away again. The Vice Grip finishes Noble in a hurry.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Deuce

Deuce is annoyed to start and kicks him in the face before choking on the ropes. Yang comes back up with some chops though and a moonsault press gives him the face pin.

Post match Deuce N Domino beat down Yang.

Another video on the Punjabi Prison match. Batista’s leap from one cage to the other is still awesome.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

The winner gets Batista, on commentary, for the title at Cyber Sunday. Hold on though as JBL announces that the fans get to pick the guest referee for the Cyber Sunday title match. The choices are Mick Foley, Steve Austin (pause for the reaction), or JBL himself! Rey hammers Finlay into the corner to start but for some reason he turns around so Finlay can knock him down. Finlay loads up the Shillelagh shot but Rey knocks him down and we take an early break.

Back with Rey going to the apron and turning his back on Finlay AGAIN, earning himself a posting. Finlay grabs a Boston crab with Rey going to the ropes, earning himself something like a swinging Boss Man Slam for two. A headscissors takes Finlay down though and a middle rope DDT gives Rey two of his own. Things get a lot more serious and it turns into a brawl on the mat with the referee not being able to break it up. Said referee is tossed down and that’s a double DQ.

Rating: C+. This feud has been working pretty well so far and I’m curious to see how they move forward at Cyber Sunday. I can’t imagine they go with a triple threat for the title as wedging Batista into this feud doesn’t really feel right. We should be in for a violent showdown at the pay per view and that could be a good one.

That leaves us with no #1 contender….so here is Undertaker to knock both guys down. Undertaker signals he wants the title so the staredown with Batista ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event stuff was just about all that mattered on the card as the rest was mainly about people who don’t matter all that much. McIntyre debuting is little more than a footnote and MVP/Matt Hardy, one of the only interesting stories on the show, was there to make the Brothers of Destruction look good. Smackdown hasn’t been that great in recent weeks and Undertaker vs. Batista is going to need some help to make things that much better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: July 27, 2007
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re done with the Great American Bash and we’re still living in the Great Khali’s world. Khali survived against Kane and Batista in a triple threat match and now we need a new challenger. By that it probably means one of the two, and since Kane got pinned, Batista would seem to be a likely option. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Great American Bash if you need a recap.

We open with a triple threat recap as Khali retains the title.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. Deuce

Domino and Cherry are here with Deuce. Batista powers him down with as much effort as you would expect him to need and then does it again. Domino offers a distraction though and Batista gets kicked out to the floor. Back in and Deuce scores with a kick to the head before avoiding a charge to send Batista into the post. The armbar goes on for a bit but Deuce spends too much time trash talking, allowing Batista to hit a spear. Some clotheslines set up the shoulders in the corner and there’s the spinebuster. The Batista Bomb finishes Deuce off.

Rating: C. This was a heck of a lot more competitive than I would have bet on and that’s not the worst thing. Batista should have to break a sweat to beat a champion, even if it is Deuce. It might not have been a great match, but it makes sense to get Batista out there in front of the fans.

We look at Hornswoggle winning the Cruiserweight Title.

Jamie Noble is sick of people laughing at him for losing to Hornswoggle so tonight it is time for him to get the title back.

Michelle McCool likes to swim.

Cruiserweight Title: Hornswoggle vs. Jamie Noble

Noble is challenging but there is no Hornswoggle to start. With no champ, Noble checks underneath the ring but Hornswoggle pops up in the ring because of course he does. Noble gets back in so Hornswoggle can bite/kick his leg for some early annoyance. They head outside and Noble kicks the steps by mistake. Hornswoggle tricks him into missing a charge and it’s a dropkick for two on Noble. Back up and Hornswoggle gets tossed outside, where the chase is on. Noble manages to rib off Hornswoggle’s shoe…but falls and gets counted out. Somehow, Cole interprets this as a pin.

Rating: D. Somehow, this might make the title feel a bit more important than it has in months. Yes it was comedy and the champ made Noble look like an idiot, but I’ll almost take this over the lifeless matches that we had for such a long time. Hornswoggle is little more than a joke as champion but it’s not like the title has meant anything in a long time anyway.

Video on Rey Mysterio, who is on his way back.

We look at the Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero I Quit match where Chavo destroyed Rey’s knee to put him on the shelf.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Eugene

Apparently Eugene and Cole had a nice chat earlier today. Chavo goes after the knee to start and we hit the half crab to make it worse. That’s broken up and the bad knee means Eugene can’t get the airplane spin. Instead, Chavo can belly to back suplex him down and it’s back to the knee. The leg cranking is on and Chavo bends the knee around the rope. Chavo sends him face first into the corner and Eugene’s comeback is on, meaning the airplane spin can work this time. That’s enough for Chavo, who hits a quick brainbuster and the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C-. It was about all you could get out of Chavo vs. Eugene with Chavo working on the knee to show he’s ready for the return of Rey Mysterio. Other than that though, it was little more than a squash with Guerrero never being in any serious danger. Fine enough to build Chavo back up though, assuming you can get invested in a Chavo Guerrero feud.

Ric Flair and Matt Hardy are ready for their tag match.

Jesse and Festus really love America.

MVP/Chris Masters vs. Matt Hardy/Ric Flair

Hardy starts with MVP but it’s off to Masters before anything gets going. Masters fights out of an early headlock and powers Hardy into the corner for a shot to the face. MVP comes in and stomps away in the corner but it’s quickly off to Flair for a bunch of chops. The villains are knocked outside for a breather and we take an early break.

Back with Flair working on MVP’s leg but a rope is grabbed in a hurry. Hardy comes in for a few shots and it’s right back to Flair for more chops. One of them knocks MVP over for the tag to Masters, who unloads in the corner. MVP’s running boot in the corner knocks Flair silly and it’s off to a hammerlock. Masters comes back in for a powerslam and an armbar but Flair fights up in a hurry. A kick to the face allows the hot tag to Hardy so house can be cleaned. The Side Effect gets two with MVP making a fast save. Not that it matters as the Twist of Fate finishes Masters (with MVP not bothering to make another save).

Rating: C+. Hardy gets a win back to start his rebuilding and that is a good idea. Ultimately, Hardy is probably not done with MVP and the title so it makes a lot of sense to put him in in a spot like this. Flair and Masters were just kind of there, but at least they did something to keep the match fresh.

Post match MVP says that doesn’t matter because he’s still the US Champion. Hardy brought everything he had at the Great American Bash and lost, because he can’t beat MVP at anything. Matt tells him to put his money where his mouth is and give him another title shot. MVP says the title is off the table but Matt can’t beat him at anything, from baseball to running to chess or anything else. That’s fine with Matt, who says he’ll pick a bunch of games and beat MVP every single time. Then MVP will have no choice but to give Matt a US Title shot. I think Matt’s logic might be a bit off there.

Chuck Palumbo loves motorcycles.

Mark Henry vs. Joey Blaylock

Henry runs him over without much trouble to start and adds a big boot. A powerslam and splash get two, with Henry picking him up. The bearhug finishes Blaylock in a hurry.

Post match, Henry says no man or beast can beat him and tosses Blaylock outside. That was such a bad beating that Henry beat the Blaylock out of him and turned the guy into Joey Ryan.

Raw Rebound.

Teddy Long and Kristal are talking wedding plans when Ron Simmons comes in. Long asks him to be the best man, which is good for a catchphrase and an emotional hug. The guys are off for some cigars and reminiscing.

Here’s the same video on the Great American Bash triple threat from earlier.

Edge had his torn pectoral muscle fixed and he still blames Kane.

Kane vs. Dave Taylor

Taylor isn’t scared and slugs away to start, earning himself a toss across the ring. Kane unloads in the corner and drops an elbow, only to get uppercutted some more. An armbar actually has Kane in a bit more trouble and Taylor pounds him into the corner again. Kane isn’t having that though and scores with a running clothesline, setting up the sidewalk slam. There’s the top rope clothesline and Kane hits the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. Who would have thought that Taylor would give Kane a bit of a fight here? Taylor is someone who certainly does put in the effort every time he is out there and it gives you a match that is far better than you would expect. Kane seems primed for a big enough match at Summerslam, though I’m not sure who he could face.

Torrie Wilson has gone cowgirl for her mixed tag with Jimmy Wang Yang against Victoria and Kenny Dykstra. And no, apparently the shorts aren’t too short.

Torrie Wilson/Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Kenny Dykstra/Victoria

Victoria goes after Torrie before the bell but it’s Dykstra clotheslining Yang a few times to start instead. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Yang’s back as commentary talks about how Torrie looks. Yang fights up and hits a spinwheel kick, allowing the double tag to the women. Some clotheslines have Victoria in trouble but she comes right back with the spinning side slam for two. The double arm crank goes on but Torrie is back up with a swinging neckbreaker. Torrie has to crawl away from Dykstra though…and it’s off to Yang a few seconds later anyway. The moonsault press finishes Dykstra without much trouble.

Rating: D. They had a short and bad match as commentary talked about how great Torrie looked throughout. That’s about all you can expect here and I can’t say I’m surprised. It isn’t like there is anything else for them to do and Torrie wearing the outfit was there to be more fun and silly than anything else, which didn’t help the match that much.

It’s time for Great Khali’s World Championship celebration, complete with a bunch of dancers and music setting up his entrance. Khali and Runjin Singh come out, with Khali holding the title upside down again. Singh translates Khali’s yelling, which is bragging about all of his accomplishments. Now he is one of the greatest Indians of all time, like M. Night Shyamalan and Mother Teresa! It is time for Punjabi dancing but, after a good while, Batista interrupts. The challenge for a title match is on and a spear drops Khali to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t a very good show and I’m not sure I can see it getting better anytime in the near future. There was very little worth seeing on here and I don’t know how good things are going to be on the way to Summerslam. Edge being gone hurt things but it wasn’t like it was a great weekly show before his injury. It wasn’t a very good show, but it was more uninteresting than anything else.

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Smackdown
Date: June 1, 2007
Location: John Labatt Centre, London, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the last Smackdown before One Night Stand but we also have to finish the build to Saturday Night’s Main Event, because the one thing that WWE needed at this point is more content. Last week saw Batista become the #1 contender again, meaning he gets a shot at Edge and the World Title in a cage on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Chris Benoit/Matt Hardy vs. MVP/The Miz

The graphic says Mike Mizanin but commentary calls him the Miz. Benoit and MVP lock up to start with MVP getting pummeled into the corner. It’s off to Hardy for a back elbow and elbow drop for two so Miz comes in to get beaten up as well. A backbreaker gives Benoit two, followed by a snap suplex for the same. Miz sends Benoit into the corner though and rams him head first into the mat for two.

The Mizard of Oz gets two on Benoit, who suplexes his way out of trouble again. That’s enough for the tag to Hardy, who pulls Miz out of the corner into a sitout powerbomb for two of his own. Everything breaks down and the villains are cleared out as we take a break. Back with Miz hammering away and cutting off Matt’s comeback with a clothesline. MVP’s cheap shot from the apron keeps Matt in trouble and it’s time for a nerve hold to keep things slow.

The running boot to the face in the corner gets two more on Matt as the beating is on in full. Miz snaps Matt’s throat across the middle rope for two and the chinlock goes on. MVP comes back in but Matt finally gets up an elbow in the corner, setting up the running bulldog. The hot tag brings in Benoit to clean house but Miz kicks off the Sharpshooter attempt. That’s fine with Benoit, who settles for the Crossface and the tap as Matt dives onto MVP.

Rating: C+. This got some time and it makes a lot of sense to put Miz in there with some talented people. Miz needs ring time and a way to get built up, with a match like this working rather well. It’s a good sign that he was able to hold up his part of the match, as the new, serious version is working much faster than I would have expected.

Finlay gives Hornswoggle a pep talk for his match with Little Boogeyman, because that’s a thing.

Jillian Hall vs. Michelle McCool

Feeling out process to start with Michelle flipping out of an early headscissors. Michelle grabs a cradle, which is in no way a reason for her to twist and contort. Jillian sends her outside and chokes away inside as the fans are not exactly interested. We hit the backbreaker for a bit before Michelle comes back with a belly to belly for two. Jillian takes her down and hits the front flip legdrop for three near falls but here is Ashley Massaro for a distraction. That’s enough for Michelle to grab a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a case where you have to consider the particulars. It wasn’t a very good match, but it felt like a match. They were doing actual moves and looking fairly competent at them, which is a lot better than a series of hair pulls and brawling. You can see the women coming a long way and that’s rather impressive.

Boogeyman fires up Little Boogeyman.

Little Boogeyman vs. Hornswoggle

Boogeyman is here too. JBL: “Koko B. Ware would look like Andre the Giant in this match.” Little Boogeyman spits worms into Hornswoggle’s hat to start and then knocks Hornswoggle down. The gyrating elbow gets two and it’s time to throw worms at Hornswoggle. That’s fine with Hornswoggle, who spits mist back at Little Boogeyman.

Cue Finlay from underneath the ring to throw Little Boogeyman back inside, setting up a brawl with Boogeyman. Hornswoggle dives off the apron to hammer on Boogeyman for a weird visual, leaving Finlay to Shillelagh Little Boogeyman. Hornswoggle debuts the Tadpole Splash for the pin to end a surprisingly wild match.

Mark Henry is going to hurt Kane tonight.

Raw Rebound.

Kane vs. Mark Henry

Kane kicks him to the floor so Henry comes back in for the drive into the corner. The clubbing forearms into the running powerslam plants Kane and there’s the running splash in the corner. Henry misses a splash though and Kane drops an elbow into a legdrop for two. Kane scores with the top rope clothesline but Henry bails to the floor at the threat of a chokeslam. That’s fine with Kane, who dropkicks him through the ropes, only to get caught in a bearhug. Henry drives him hard into the post and that’s enough for the countout.

Rating: C-. This was a way to keep Henry strong while also protecting Kane for a future rematch so they covered two ideas at once. Henry is being built up as a major force on Smackdown and a big win over Kane would go a long way to get him there. This was the first step on that path so not a bad start, even if the match wasn’t great.

Post match Kane sits up and chases Henry off.

Edge isn’t scared of Batista and is ready for him on the Cutting Edge later tonight.

Deuce N Domino aren’t worried about the Draft because they aren’t going into the army and getting buzzcuts. The interviewer explains it and the champs aren’t happy.

Tag Team Titles: Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. William Regal/Dave Taylor vs. Deuce N Domino

Deuce N Domino are defending. Regal elbows Domino in the face to start and hands it off to Taylor to uppercut Domino down. London comes into headlock Taylor before shifting to the arm, with Kendrick coming in off the top to stay on it. Taylor uppercuts his way to freedom though and it’s off to Deuce via a blind tag. That’s fine with London, who armdrags Deuce down and hands it off to Kendrick in a hurry. Taylor punches him in the face to escape (as you do) but Kendrick crossbodies him over the top for the crash to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Kendrick and Deuce slowing things back down until Kendrick has to try to skin the cat. Domino breaks that up with a kick to the ribs though and the champs take over on Kendrick. Back in and Domino grabs a cobra clutch until Taylor tags himself back in. Kendrick is tossed outside in a crash but Regal is smart enough to throw him back inside to break up the countout.

We hit the chinlock back inside with Kendrick having to put a boot on the ropes for a break. An enziguri finally gives Kendrick a breather but Regal comes back in to wreck him with a half nelson suplex (that landing was nasty). The villains get in a fight of their own though and Kendrick gets over for the tag to London. House is cleaned in a hurry but Cherry hits London with her rollerskate so Domino can steal the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B-. This got time and was enough of a different kind of match to keep things feeling fresh. You don’t see triple threat tag matches very often around here so it was nice to have something different for a change. Deuce N Domino have established themselves as champions, though I’m not sure who they are supposed to face next, as depth isn’t really a priority for the tag division.

One Night Stand rundown, including Mark Henry vs. Kane in a lumberjack match.

Teddy Long congratulates Vickie Guerrero on coming up with the lumberjack match. Kristal is worried about being Drafted to another show, but Long would give up being GM to be with her. Vickie says she would run the show in his honor if he had to leave. She even lets the two of them leave early tonight and volunteers to run the show (all ten minutes left of it) for Teddy. Sure why not.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge and Edge wastes no time in bringing out Batista as his guest. Edge makes it clear that this is not going to get physical but he isn’t scared of Batista. Maybe Batista is the one intimidated….so he takes off his jacket. He’s just a bit hot, but Edge is looking a bit scared.

Batista talks about how Edge stole the title from Undertaker but Edge says he’s the champ. Batista: “Until One Night Stand.” Edge wishes him luck, so Batista does the same and slaps him in the face. Edge says he doesn’t need it so Batista says he does and slaps Edge again. We go back and forth with YES YOU DO/NO I DON’T plus some shoving. Edge says he isn’t scared, but Batista says he should be and punched Edge down to end the show. They’re doing what they can with almost no story here and it’s going as well as can be expected.

Overall Rating: C. This show took a different path from last week in that they were trying to build things up as well as they could while also giving us a good amount of in-ring action. What we got here was entertaining enough, though I’m really looking forward to getting past Sunday and on to something fresh. For now though, it a nice go home show for a not so great looking pay per view.

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Smackdown
Date: May 25, 2007
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re done with Judgment Day and now we have less than two weeks to go before One Night Stand. Edge cheated to defeat Batista and retain the Smackdown World Title so we might be in for a rematch at the next pay per view. I’m not sure what else we’ll be getting but building to a low level pay per view can be rough. Let’s get to it.

Here is Judgment Day if you need a recap.

The opening video, set to Ozzy Osborne’s I Don’t Wanna Stop, looks at Edge becoming World Heavyweight Champion, and retaining against Batista on Sunday.

Here is Edge to get things going. Edge talks about the praise Batista vs. Undertaker has been receiving but where did it get them? Nowhere, other than leaving them vulnerable for the Ultimate Opportunist. Edge beat Undertaker and Batista 1-2-3 and here he is as the World Heavyweight Champion. This is the Rated R Era and it DOES NOT SUCK, despite what the fans say. Cue Teddy Long to announce a #1 contenders match for tonight, with Kane vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. Batista. Edge can go with that, but Teddy ups the ante by putting the title match inside a steel cage.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. William Regal/Dave Taylor

Hold on though as here are Deuce N Domino and Cherry to watch from their car. Taylor headlocks Kendrick down to start but gets monkey flipped for his effort. A dropkick puts Taylor on the floor but he counters a headscissors into a toss out to the floor. Regal comes in to fire off some knees to the face (simple yet effective), setting up the wishbone split. Kendrick manages to dodge a shot though and the hot tag brings in London to clean house. A spinwheel kick drops Regal but Domino shoves London off the top for the DQ.

Rating: C. London and Kendrick vs. Deuce N Domino needs to go far away but I’ll take this over half of a team vs. half of a team. Regal and Taylor are the kind of team who can always have a place on the roster as you can always use some brawlers. This was a perfectly fine match and that’s all they could hope for with so little time.

Post match the big brawl is on.

We look back at Randy Orton injuring Shawn Michaels at Judgment Day.

Hornswoggle has stolen the World Heavyweight Title and Edge is giving chase. They run into Finlay, who makes Hornswoggle give it back to Edge, for now.

Jillian Hall is singing in the ring when Boogeyman, with full entrance, comes out but she somehow doesn’t notice him until he’s in the ring. Jillian bails but Michelle McCool throws her back in for the worming.

Teddy Long officially makes Vickie Guerrero his assistant and she’s rather happy. Vickie leaves and Krystal offers to thank Teddy for his decision.

Matt Hardy vs. Miz

Feeling out process to start with JBL ranting about how evil the Guerreros are. Miz elbows his way out of a hammerlock and bends Matt’s neck around the rope. The cravate goes on and Hardy can’t even roll his way to freedom. An elbow drop misses but Miz is fine enough to pull him down by the hair for two more.

Matt fights up with forearms to the face but gets caught with the running corner clothesline for another near fall. The chinlock goes on so Matt fights up with right hands and the clothesline. Matt’s middle rope elbow gets two and the Side Effect is good for the same. A right hand sets up the Twist of Fate (which Miz takes like a swinging neckbreaker) for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a perfectly basic but nicely done match and I’ll absolutely take that. Above all else, Miz looked WAY more comfortable in there, even if Matt was probably walking him through every step. That’s why you put him in there with a veteran like Hardy. Well done here, and one of Miz’s most impressive performances, just because of how big a step forward it seemed to be.

Mark Henry is ready to hurt people and wants the World Title match at One Night Stand.

Here is MVP for his United States Championship celebration. In quite a few words, MVP says he told us so and now he’s right here as US Champion. Then he just flat out says “I told you so”. There is one thing missing from this celebration, so here is Chris Benoit to look really serious. MVP sticks out his hand and Benoit gives him a very firm shake but MVP goes into a bragging speech about beating Benoit two straight falls. Now he wants Benoit to raise his hand because he is better than Benoit on any given day. Instead it’s some rolling German suplexes to send MVP bailing.

We look at John Cena surviving against Great Khali at Judgment Day.

Maryse throws us to the Throw It On Me video.

Kane promises to win tonight.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title. Yang takes him into the corner to start but Chavo slips away for a standoff. They fight over arm control until Chavo takes him down, only to get reversed into a headlock. Back up and Chavo dropkicks the knee out and starts cranking away on the leg. Yang fights up but gets pulled down into a stretch muffler. Make that a half crab as Chavo is at least mixing things up a bit. Back up and Yang hits an enziguri to start the comeback in a hurry. Chavo manages to grab the Three Amigos but the frog splash is broken up. Yang gets knocked away so Chavo tries a sunset bomb, which is reversed into a hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: C-. I don’t care. This is the same thing that WWE has done for the better part of ever with this title and it isn’t going to change a freaking thing. The champ loses to set up a title match where the title is retained and it is forgotten days later as we start the whole thing over again. Both guys are completely acceptable in the ring but this is the most tired and played out idea WWE has had in years.

Batista promises to win.

Batista vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay vs. Kane

The winner gets a title shot against Edge, on commentary, at One Night Stand in a cage. It’s a brawl to start with Batista and Henry fighting on the floor as the other two stay inside. We take a break and come back with everyone in the ring again until Kane and Finlay head outside. That leaves Henry to hit a quick World’s Strongest Slam on Batista with Finlay making the same.

Kane goes up top for a clothesline to put Henry down and Batista’s top rope shoulder hits Henry as well. That’s still not enough to keep Henry down as he fights up and hammers on Kane. Batista drops Henry and spinebusters Kane but Henry is back up again. Finlay is back in and cleans house with the Shillelagh but Batista is fine enough to hit the Batista Bomb for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C+. Take four monsters (or at least a good brawler in Finlay’s case) and have them hit each other over and over again. That’s what we got here and it was a solid way to set up the rematch. Batista had to get around Henry and the Shillelagh, plus the always dangerous Kane to get back at Edge. It feels like he had to do something here and the match worked.

Batista stares down at Edge to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Much like Raw, this felt like a bridge between pay per views, neither of which was all that important in the first place. The wrestling was mostly ok at best and they set things up, but it isn’t like any of this felt important. They need to get done with One Night Stand so we can move on to something fresh, because this crop of stories is pretty much out of gas.

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Smackdown
Date: May 18, 2007
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Judgment Day and I’m not sure what that is going to entail. Everything was shaken up last week when Edge won the World Title from Undertaker, who seems to be going on the shelf. Edge is going to be defending against Batista on Sunday, meaning it’s time for the rapid fire build. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s cage match, Mark Henry’s return, and Edge’s Money in the Bank cash-in to take the title from Undertaker. That was a heck of a way to wrap up the night.

Opening sequence.

MVP vs. Matt Hardy

MVP grabs some headlock takeovers to start but gets armdragged away to give us a standoff. Some right hands put Hardy into the corner as commentary ignore the match to talk about Edge (it would be during a Matt match). A snapmare sets up the neck crank but Matt fights up in a hurry.

Matt drops MVP again and hits a middle rope legdrop for two as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled with this. MVP gets in a few kicks and drops an elbow for two, setting up the neck crank. That’s broken up and Matt hits an elbow of his own for two of his own. You don’t do that to MVP though as he kicks Hardy in the head to send him outside.

We take a break and come back with MVP getting some more near falls, setting up a running boot to the face in the corner for two more. Matt can barely stand up but the referee lets him continue, as the referee continues to not be that sympathetic. An uppercut drops Hardy as commentary is wanting the match to be stopped. MVP hits a fireman’s carry drop but somehow Matt is up with a Side Effect for two of his own. The bulldog out of the corner and a middle rope elbow get two each but MVP sends him into the post. The Playmaker is enough to finish Hardy.

Rating: C+. This was the kind of win that MVP has been needing as it made him look a lot more intense on the way to the (next) title match with Chris Benoit. MVP has not exactly been seen as a vicious guy so far and it’s nice to have him do something like this over an established name like Hardy. Good match with a good story, and that’s what they should have done.

Post match MVP talks about how the deck is stacked against him but beating Chris Benoit will only solidify his greatness.

We get a quick highlight reel of Edge’s World Title moments.

We see some exclusive footage from the after last week’s show, with druids carrying Undertaker away. There are various clips of the big beatdown/Undertaker’s career included.

Jimmy Wang Yang/Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Deuce N Domino/Chavo Guerrero

London, with a goatee, starts with Chavo and snaps off a headscissors out of the corner. A rollup gives London one and it’s off to Yang for a high crossbody to Deuce. Domino offers a distraction though and Kendrick gets knocked down to put the villains in control for a change. Kendrick fights out of the corner in a hurry though and it’s off to Yang to clean house. Chavo cuts him off with a suplex but everything breaks down, with Yang hitting a top rope moonsault press for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. This feels like something that we’ve seen a dozen or so times in recent months. It was nice to mix up a pair of feuds instead of doing the singles deals again, but the Cruiserweight Champion taking another fall is hardly the most original idea. I’m sure Yang will get a short and technically sound title shot but it isn’t like it’s going anywhere further. Just find a new way to present the title and the division, because this isn’t helping anyone.

Mark Henry says this is a jungle and he has no predators because he is the king.

Mark Henry vs. Funaki

Funaki bounces off of him to start and is promptly hammered down. The World’s Strongest Slam finishes for Henry in about a minute. That’s how it should have gone.

Raw Rebound.

Finlay vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title. Feeling out process to start until Benoit just hits him in the face to turn violent. Finlay sweeps the leg and pulls on the knee a bit, even with Benoit chinlocking him from the mat. Benoit reverses into a chinlock so Finlay goes to the ropes, setting up a chinlock of his own. That’s broken up so they head outside with Benoit being sent knees first into the steps. Back in and Finlay goes right back to the knee, unfortunately with the same hold.

Benoit fights up again and avoids a charge in the corner, setting up the German suplex. The knee won’t let him hit another one though, meaning he has to settle for Three Amigos. It’s time to load up the Swanton but the knee slows Benoit down again, allowing Finlay to knock him off the apron for the crash. Back in and Finlay grabs another leglock to send us to a break.

We come back with more of the same hold until Benoit fights up again. Some chops don’t do much to Finlay who, say it with me, takes him down to work on the leg again. Benoit gets up again and hits an enziguri, setting up the rolling German suplexes. Cue Hornswoggle, who gets taken down for a Sharpshooter attempt. Finlay uses the distraction to grab the Shillelagh but Benoit reverses into the Crossface. Cue MVP for the DQ.

Rating: C. As soon as I saw Benoit vs. Finlay, my expectations went up. It’s one of those matches that should be pretty great no matter what they do, but then it just wasn’t very good. Most of the match was spent with Finlay working the leg, which is fine in theory but gets pretty repetitive in a hurry. The match was far from awful, but it was pretty boring and that’s not what you expect from these two.

Post match Benoit goes after MVP but Finlay gets in a Shillelagh shot to the knee. MVP leaves Benoit laying.

Ozzy Osborne is here to perform the Judgment Day theme song so Jillian Hall tries to audition for him.

Ashley introduces Ozzy Osborne for I Don’t Wanna Stop. Performing ensues and I’ll have the chorus stuck in my head all day.

We get another movie trailer for Edge’s inaugural address later tonight.

Miz vs. Christian York

Miz clotheslines him down to start but misses an elbow that takes its time being set up. Back up and Miz hits a running corner clothesline but pulls York up at two. A swinging neckbreaker finishes York in a hurry. This was the much more serious version of Miz and even JBL has to compliment him a bit.

Timbaland will have a music video featuring some WWE Divas.

Krystal thanks Teddy Long for giving Vickie Guerrero the chance to be his assistant. Vickie comes in so Krystal leaves, with Teddy saying he isn’t sure about this. He knows the history of the Guerrero family but Vickie wants the chance to change the perception about the family. After some sucking up about Krystal, Teddy agrees to give her the interview.

Another Edge video.

Kane vs. William Regal

Boogeyman, Little Boogeyman and Dave Taylor are here as I had no idea this feud went on for so long. Regal slugs away to start and actually strikes him down in a bit of a surprise. Some more shots keep Regal down and we hit the chinlock as JBL still seems to be scared of the Boogeyman.

Kane fights up and tries the chokeslam but is quickly countered into an exploder suplex. They slug it out until Kane kicks him in the face and scores with the side slam. The top rope clothesline connects but Taylor offers a distraction to give Regal a breather. Taylor throws Little Boogeyman inside but the distraction lets Kane hit a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. This was another kind of weird match as Regal was nearly squashing him until Kane made his comeback. You don’t often see something like that but it was actually working well enough. Kane and Boogeyman are growing on me as the freak show pairing and it’s not like the tag division has any kind of depth otherwise, so why not see what they can do?

Worms are busted out post match.

Judgment Day rundown.

Teddy Long brings out Edge for his inaugural address. Edge says he’ll handle the introduction before saying that HE is YOUR World Heavyweight Champion. He is ashamed to be a Canadian citizen (but he would be ashamed to be American too) because he never gets any respect.

Another place he didn’t get any respect was on Raw, where he beat everyone but still didn’t get treated right. He’ll take on all comers here, which gets Long’s attention. Long reminds him of his upcoming title defense against Batista, which doesn’t bother Edge. He beat Undertaker in three seconds after Batista couldn’t do it in three months, so bring Batista on. Cue Batista to welcome Edge to Smackdown and promise to take the title back on Sunday.

Overall Rating: C. This was a bit of a weird show as Judgment Day was already set, save for the main event, so they had to cobble something together at the last second. Edge vs. Batista is the only choice they had for the spot and the match should work out. Other than that, it was a totally ho hum edition of the show, which is kind of surprising after what they have been doing as of late. Not bad, but things feel like they have hit a bit of a wall for both shows this week.

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Smackdown
Date: May 11, 2007
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s a big show this time around with the Undertaker defending the World Title against Batista inside a cage. That alone should be enough to carry the show and….well that’s about what it’s going to do as that’s the only major thing set for the show. Unless you could spoilers that is, as WWE has already said what happens this time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Undertaker vs. Batista and how we got to the cage match. I have a feeling we’re getting a bunch of history tonight.

Opening sequence.

The cage is already around the ring.

Chris Benoit/Matt Hardy vs. Finlay/MVP

They either edited the heck out of something or the cage had a rocket attached to it, as there is no way they raised that thing up so fast. Benoit and Finlay lock up to push each other around the ring to start. It’s already off to MVP to shoulder Benoit down but he has to escape an early Crossface attempt. Matt comes in to drop an elbow and it’s already back to Benoit to stomp away in the corner. Finlay has to break up the cover off a suplex so Matt comes back in for a neckbreaker. Benoit misses a baseball slide to Finlay but clotheslines him down instead. Cue Hornswoggle to….do nothing as we take a break.

Back with Hardy bulldogging Finlay for two and cranking on a headlock. It’s back to MVP to stomp away but Hardy suplexes him for two, with Finlay having to make another save. Matt elbows MVP off the top and actually hits a moonsault, only to bang up his knee in the process. MVP is smart enough to go right after the knee before handing it off to Finlay for a half crab.

That’s broken up but MVP is right there to cut him off again. That lasts all of two seconds though before it’s the hot tag to bring in Benoit to clean house. The rolling German suplexes get two but the Swan Dive misses. MVP comes in, walks into a dragon screw legwhip, and gets jackknife covered to give Benoit the fast pin.

Rating: C+. This was good enough, though MVP losing AGAIN is getting old. It’s ok to let him steal a pin in a tag match but he has to lose there too. It’s one thing to get pinned by Chris Benoit but losing to him over and over takes away a lot from MVP. Not a bad tag match though, which is one thing you can almost always depend on: throwing talented wrestlers out there and giving them time to do something.

Here’s another video on Batista vs. Undertaker.

Next week: Ozzy Osbourne performs the Judgment Day theme song.

Jillian Hall vs. Michelle McCool

Jillian sings a slowed down version of her theme song until Michelle’s entrance cuts her off. Michelle hammers away to start and it’s a catfight with more punching than usual. The reverse chinlock sends Jillian over to the ropes but she is right back with a cartwheel into an elbow. The chinlock has McCool in trouble but she’s back up with an elbow to the face. A jackknife rollup gives McCool two and a belly to belly gets the same. Jillian gets in some elbows in the corner but charges into a backbreaker to give Michelle the pin.

Rating: D+. No it wasn’t good, but you can tell that they are trying to have a good match. There is a world of difference than this and some of the nonsense that you would see out of the Divas division. They need a lot more time and polish, but you can see the effort and some of the basics in there. In other words, Finlay continues to be a wizard with this stuff.

Krystal is rubbing Teddy Long’s shoulders and asks if he has found an assistant yet. He hasn’t found anyone appropriate yet but she has an idea. We’ll have to hear about that later though as two hillbillies from West Virginia come in. They’re here to fight but Teddy says if they can get to Baltimore next week, they can have a match. Long mentions their name as the Dalton Boys as they leave. Krystal goes back to shoulder rubbing and suggests Vickie Guerrero as the assistant. Teddy is skeptical about hiring a Guerrero but Krystal talks him into letting her have an interview next week. That’s good enough for Krystal.

More on Undertaker vs. Batista.

Raw Rebound.

Ashley joins us from Stamford and wants to get back to Smackdown. If nothing else, she wants to get her hands on Jillian and to see Paul London and Brian Kendrick get their Tag Team Titles back.

Domino vs. Paul London

I know I make fun of these teams having a bunch of singles matches but COME ON ALREADY. Deuce, Cherry and Brian Kendrick are at ringside too. London dodges a double leg dive to start but gets shoved away. The referee breaks that up so Domino kicks him in the ribs, only to get dropkicked down.

London scores with a moonsault to the floor (which he missed to cost his team the titles a few weeks ago), only to get snapmared back inside. Domino grabs a cobra clutch but London is back up with a cradle for two. A headscissors into a basement dropkick connects and a snap spinwheel kick drops Domino again. Deuce tries to offer a distraction so London hits the dropsault onto Domino for the pin.

Rating: C. Not too bad here, but e pluribus gads I’m sick of seeing this match. It’s been done to death at this point and I don’t see any reason to want to watch it again. Hopefully we get to the title rematch so Deuce N Domino can retain and move on to ANYTHING else. These teams have fine matches, but the interest has been depleted after seeing some combination of it so many times.

Another Undertaker vs. Batista video.

Snitsky video.

Kane vs. Dave Taylor

Boogeyman, Little Boogeyman and William Regal are here too. Kane appears to be a mixture of happy and confused by the Boogeymen. They start fast with Kane hitting a hard slam as commentary is busy freaking out about the people at ringside. Taylor gets a boot up in the corner and hammers away until Kane kicks him down. Regal trips Kane and feigns innocence in a way that feels so appropriate for him. Kane is back up with the sidewalk slam and the top rope clothesline as Boogeyman and Regal get in a fight on the floor. The chokeslam finishes Taylor.

Rating: C-. About what you would expect here and that was fine enough. Kane and Boogeyman are growing on me as the freaky tag team as it’s a bit of a different direction for both of them. If nothing else, seeing Regal and Taylor being disturbed by what they’re looking at every week has been great. Not a good match, but another part of an entertaining story.

Undertaker beat Batista at Wrestlemania.

The Condemned.

Undertaker and Batista went to a draw in a Last Man Standing match at Backlash.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is defending in a cage with pinfall, submission or escape to win. Batista has a bad leg and Undertaker has a bad arm to slow both of them down a bit. They go to the slugout to start until Undertaker kicks him in the face. A clothesline gives Batista two but a shot to the bad leg breaks up the Batista Bomb. Undertaker gets knocked down and it’s a top rope shoulder to give Batista two.

We take a break and come back with Batista breaking up an escape attempt but getting hit in the face for his efforts. Batista takes him down and hammers away before a low blow drops Undertaker again. The shoulders and clothesline in the corner let Batista climb but Undertaker hits him in the leg for a crotching. The running big boot knocks Batista into the cage but Batista kicks him down as well as we take a break.

Back again with Batista blasting him with a clothesline for two. Undertaker hits some clotheslines of his own and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot. There’s the chokeslam for a close two but Batista sends him into the cage. We take another break and come back with the busted open Undertaker walking into a spinebuster for two.

Batista, apparently having never watched an Undertaker match, hammers away in the corner and gets Last Rided for two. Undertaker can’t quite get out of the door so they both go up top for a slugout. Batista knocks him down and climbs up but Undertaker is right there to meet him. They both climb down and drop to the floor….at the same time.

Rating: B. This was a heck of a fight and as usual between these two, it felt like a war with the question being who could survive, let alone win. These two have some great chemistry together and it was on display again here. They feel like each others’ equals and given that they have had more draws than decisive wins in their rivalry, it feels that way in the ring too.

The referees go over to the monitors to look and the feet hit the ground at the same time so the match is officially a draw, with the Undertaker retaining the title. The cage is raised…and here is Mark Henry to jump Undertaker. Henry sends him into the post and crushes him with the splash inside. That’s quite the bad situation for Undertaker and now it’s about to get worse.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Undertaker

Edge is challenging via Money in the Bank cash in. The bell rings and Edge covers for two but Undertaker can’t sit up. He pulls himself up on the ropes and it’s the spear to give Edge the pin and the title.

Post match Edge hits him with the briefcase and poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The cage match alone is worth the watch and the rest of the show continues its hot streak. That’s going to be it for the Undertaker for a long time though as the arm injury was a torn bicep, putting him out of action for several months. That leaves Batista to carry the show again, and now he’ll be able to feud with Edge for the time being. Solid show here, but it feels like the start of a new era, which might not be so great.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: May 4, 2007
Location: BJCC, Birmingham, Alabama
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re done with Backlash but it does not seem like we are done with Batista vs. Undertaker. The two of them went to a draw in a Last Man Standing match at the pay per view and that probably means we get another match between the two of them, which is not a bad thing. I’m not sure what that is going to mean, but hopefully WWE can keep up their roll. Let’s get to it.

Here is Backlash if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

William Regal vs. Boogeyman

This isn’t quite the normal start, but Little Boogeyman is back. Dave Taylor is here too but he doesn’t have quite the merchandising potential. Grappling doesn’t quite work for Regal so Boogeyman gyrates a bit. Regal gets a bit more violent by sending him shoulder first into the post and kicking the arm. Some forearms have Boogeyman in trouble as Cole calls him a “must see character”. The chinlock doesn’t last long as the fans bring Boogeyman back to life. The chokebomb connects but Taylor comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was short and to the point, likely for the sake of setting up another match of some kind. They went a bit more technical than I was expecting here but Regal got better once he turned into the brawler. Keeping this short was probably better for Boogeyman, as he isn’t exactly the best thing to see in the ring most of the time.

Post match the beatdown is on, with Little Boogeyman taking a beating of his own. Kane runs in for the save, chasing the Brits into the crowd.

We look at Vince McMahon becoming ECW World Champion.

Dusty Rhodes is in Teddy Long’s office but Teddy doesn’t think he would be a good choice for an assistant’s role. Rhodes thought it was for the GM’s job and leaves (Dusty: “See ya playa!”). MVP comes in (MVP: “Was that the American Dream?”) and isn’t happy with what happened to him at Backlash. If he doesn’t get another US Title shot, he’s sitting out the rest of his contract. Long says he can have the title shot if he wins tonight….against Kane. Yelling ensues so MVP leaves, running into Sgt. Slaughter, the Brooklyn Brawler and the Miz, all of whom want to be Long’s assistant. Miz even throws in a HOO RAH.

Brian Kendrick vs. Domino

It really would be nice to think that WWE knows another way to present a tag team feud but that seems to be false hope. Deuce, Cherry and the injured Paul London are here too as Domino grabs an early headlock. Kendrick sends him outside and hits a heck of a suicide dive, only to have Domino come back with a knee to the face.

Back in and another knee, this time in the form of a drop, gives Domino two and we hit the chinlock. Kendrick raises a boot to cut off a middle rope unidentified flying….thing and hits a running forearm in the corner. Deuce takes out London but Kendrick kicks Deuce off the apron as he hits Sliced Bread for the pin.

Rating: C. Kendrick was flying all over the place here and it made for a good enough match, even if this feud has gone so far beyond stale that it’s barely worth caring about. The tag division really is that weak at the moment, or at least the face side of it is, because there has been nothing suggesting even one other team coming after the titles.

Here is Mr. Kennedy, complete with a graphic counting down to his Wrestlemania XXIV countdown. It’s 331 days until there is a new champion and his name is…..a catchphrase.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Matt Hardy

JBL thinks that Hardy could be in the main event of Wrestlemania as well, because JBL isn’t a great analyst. Hardy headlocks Kennedy down to start as JBL thinks next year’s Wrestlemania is in Tampa. Back up and Kennedy works on a headlock of his own to little avail. Cole uses this opportunity to hype up an upcoming clip of the end of Batista and Undertaker for approximately the 193rd time tonight.

Kennedy starts working on the arm before elbowing Hardy in the face. A backdrop sends Kennedy over the top though and we take a break, with Kennedy possibly having a busted nose. Back with Hardy hitting a middle rope elbow to the back of the head, only to have Kennedy take him down by the arm. The chinlock goes on again, meaning Cole can get in his 194th reference to the Batista/Undertaker clip.

Back up and they collide coming out of the corner until Kennedy is sent outside. He comes up favoring his shoulder but is still fine enough to kick Hardy hard into the steps. They head back inside with Kennedy grabbing a cravate to keep Hardy down. A clothesline gives Kennedy two and let’s hit that chinlock again. That’s broken up but Hardy’s bulldog out of the corner is broken up.

The second attempt connects to give Hardy two but Kennedy pulls him throat first across the top. The Side Effect drops Kennedy for two more and a double clothesline gives them two each. Kennedy counters the Twist of Fate into a Regal Roll for two but the Kenton Bomb only hits raised knees. Hardy’s middle rope legdrop gets yet another near fall so Kennedy shoves him at the referee. That doesn’t seem to bother Hardy, who comes back with the Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: B. This got some time and really picked up the pace in the last few minutes as they were trading a lot of near falls. That is not something you get to see very often in a free TV match and they made it work for the better part of twenty minutes. Nice stuff here, though Mr. Money in the Bank losing again holds it back a bit.

Video on Batista and Undertaker in the Last Man Standing match at Backlash. It was rather good, but not quite the epic showdown Cole made it out to be.

Teddy Long announces that next week, it’s Batista vs. Undertaker in a cage match to finish everything once and for all.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Gregory Helms

Yang shoulders him down for a headlock to start, setting up an armdrag into an armbar. Back up and Helms blocks another armdrag and sends him outside. Helms tosses Yang back inside and grabs most of a half crab (minus stepping over), followed by a waistlock. Yang fights up again and hits a dropkick into a hurricanrana for a breather. Helms slams him out of the corner for two but a superplex is broken up. The top rope moonsault press finishes for Yang.

Rating: C. This was two people having a match for a few minutes with some nice moves thrown in. It had nothing as far as interest goes, as it’s not like the Cruiserweight Title means much of anything at the moment. The fact that it took me a little while to remember who the champion was should tell you all you need to know about the division right now, and that isn’t likely to get any better anytime soon.

Here is a serious Batista for a chat. He talks about what he and Undertaker put each other through at Backlash before going over the limit. After they crashed through everything, Batista was laying there asking himself it this was all worth it. Of course it was and he wanted to step out of his body and slap himself for asking such a stupid question. He’s ready to do it all over again because he has promised himself to win the title back, even if it means getting inside a cage next week.

Mark Henry is still coming back.

Finlay vs. Miz

Feeling out process to start until Miz actually manages to knock him outside. Even JBL is impressed, though Finlay nailing Miz in the head cuts that off in a hurry. Hornswoggle pops out for a cheap shot, sending JBL into a rant about how we have Little Boogeyman, Hornswoggle and Tazz around here. They head back in and Finlay takes off the turnbuckle pad, allowing him to throw Hornswoggle at Miz behind the referee’s back. Miz sends him shoulder first into the post for two though and the running corner clothesline hits Finlay again.

Cue Hornswoggle again (three times in a four minute match is a bit much), this time with a Shillelagh shot to Miz. The distraction lets Finlay run Miz over but Miz sends him into the apron. Hornswoggle pulls Miz underneath the ring this time but he’s right back out….wearing Hornswoggle’s hat. That’s too much for Miz, who takes the countout.

Rating: D+. This was basically Miz vs. Hornswoggle and that got a little tiring in a hurry. That being said, Miz is also starting to get a lot more comfortable in the ring and you can see a star starting to emerge. He has always been able to talk but if he can survive in the ring, he becomes even more valuable. Now someone get me Hornswoggle’s hat.

Undertaker promises to make Batista rest in peace next week. Short and to the point here.

We look at Vince McMahon winning the ECW World Title (they’re REALLY high on this story, as they should be).

Kane vs. MVP

The winner challenges Chris Benoit for the US Title at Judgment Day. Kane powers him into the corner to start and then throws him back out, setting up an early bearhug. A powerslam out of the corner gives Kane two and it’s off to a chinlock with a knee in MVP’s back. Kane knocks him down again and we take a break. Back with MVP sending him shoulder first into the post and hammering away to get a breather. The armbar makes it worse for Kane and a forearm to the shoulder gets two.

The referee breaks up something in the ropes so Kane is back with a clothesline. MVP is sent into the corner for the running clothesline but another shot to the arm gets him out of trouble. Kane uses the good arm to hit a side slam for two but MVP’s swinging neckbreaker is good for the same. A slam puts MVP down though and Kane hits the top rope clothesline. Cue William Regal and Dave Taylor though, with the latter distracting the referee so Regal can get in a brass knuckles shot. The Playmaker gives MVP the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure how much drama there was to this but it was nice to see things tied back into the opening segment to wrap this up. MVP continues to look like he could be a big deal on the show, but egads he has to win that title at the pay per view. It was a pretty nice match though, and Regal’s knuckles shot looked painful to make it better.

Overall Rating: C+. Overall, this was a solid enough week with Hardy vs. Kennedy being the highlight, but I think you can tell that something is a little off. Undertaker appearing in a pre-tape and a sudden World Title match being booked for TV isn’t the most encouraging sign, as it would suggest that something was wrong (which it turns out there was). Still though, good show, despite what felt like some stuff being thrown together at the last minute.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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