Back to the motorcycle place and to the shock of everyone, Hogan ISN’T champion! He lost the title to Luger on Monday just before this match. That’s always been surprising because you would think they would just have Sting break the year and a half reign. Instead they went with this which is questionable but it was a bit of a breather at least. There isn’t much else to talk about here so let’s get to it.

Harlem Heat vs. Vicious and Delicious

That’s Norton and Bagwell. Buff and Booker get us going here. Booker hooks the arm but Bagwell dropkicks him into the corner and it’s off to Norton. Ray comes in for a power vs. power brawl and Norton gets slammed. Back to Booker for a suplex which gets two but a spin kick is countered into a kind of powerbomb. Buff cleans house for some reason but Booker knocks him to the outside.

Booker hooks a chinlock which is a heel move but since they’re against the NWO, wouldn’t that make them faces? Bagwell fights up and hits a clothesline to set up the tag to Norton. Stevie breaks up the tag as I can’t get over the heel/face dynamic being so backwards here. Cue Jackie to really make this match great. Harlem Heat had been promising a surprise before this and I guess it’s her.

Bagwell comes back from the beating with a powerbomb of all things and it’s off to Norton off a hot (?) tag. Vincent’s interference fails so Ray beats him up. Norton hits Booker with the shoulderbreaker but Jackie interferes enough to let Booker side kick Norton down for the pin. What an odd match.

Rating: D. I’m not sure what the idea here was but it really didn’t work all that well. First of all, the heel/face dynamic was completely backwards here, as the NWO team wrestled as faces. Harlem Heat wrestled as heels and had Bagwell in trouble most of the time, plus Norton got a hot tag and the Heat had a manager interfere. Oh and Jackie sucks but you already know that. I don’t know what was going on here but it didn’t work.

DiBiase talks about how awesome his team of Steiners are.

Konnan vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

This is a Mexican Death Match, which I think means knockout or submission only. Konnan is NWO also. Apparently it’s a Mexican Grudge Death Match and it’s No DQ. That’s the only rule apparently. Rey has a bad leg coming in. He speeds things up to start and hits a springboard missile dropkick to take over. That’s quite a leg injury. Konnan drops him on the buckle and hits a clothesline to the back of Rey’s head to take him down.

Konnan hooks a leg lock and Rey screams a lot. Mysterio gets sent to the floor and tries to jump over Konnan to come back in, but he hurts his knee again. A chopblock puts Rey down again and it’s time to crank on the leg. The leg work continues for awhile as there’s not much to say. Konnan puts on leg hold #19 and goes after Rey’s mask. A powerbomb puts Rey down so he can get a better attempt at it.

Konnan gets the mask off but can’t get it completely off, so Rey gets in a weak shot to the ribs and puts the mask back on. Rey’s offense is pretty bad due to the injured leg and his double springboard moonsault misses badly. Konnan kicks the knee out again and this needs to end soon. There’s a modified Stump Puller (he puts Rey’s legs in figure four position but sits Rey up and sits on the neck, pulling back on Mysterio’s legs) but it keeps going as Konnan gets bored. Mysterio comes back with a quick rollup for two. Rey goes up but gets caught in a cradle DDT and the Tequila Sunrise for the tap.

Rating: D+. So why was this no DQ again? It was never mentioned or used at all. The leg work was ok enough and the match wasn’t all that bad, but for a DEATH match, there wasn’t anything deadly about it at all. If this were a regular match it would have been ok enough, but don’t add the gimmick names if there’s nothing special about them.

Mean Gene has gotten a tattoo. My goodness.

Dean Malenko/Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve McMichael/Chris Benoit

This is an elimination tag for no apparent reason. The Horsemen feud is STILL going on and mainly is between Jarrett and McMichael, neither of whom got over because of it. Jarrett and Benoit start and Jarrett wants little to do with that so it’s time for Dean. Benoit runs him over and Dean slows things down. That doesn’t last long as Benoit starts running again, but misses an enziguri. Dean misses an elbow and it’s a standoff.

They fight over a victory roll and Dean gets two off a small package. Benoit tags in Mongo who charges into a drop toehold. Dean hits the ropes but gets kicked in the back for the Horsemen to take over. They keep alternating on him for a few minutes with Mongo using a variety of side slams, which are some of the only moves he was decent at. Jarrett runs from Mongo as Mongo tries a tackle at Dean. Malenko jumps over him and makes the tag to Jarrett, who is terrified.

Jeff, the US Champion, comes in and pulls Mongo on top of himself and intentionally gets pinned. THE US CHAMPION PEOPLE! So now it’s a handicap match so Dean goes crazy to start, grabbing some fast rollups. Benoit reverses a tombstone and hits the Swan Dive but it’s back to Mongo for more beating. Tombstone finally ends this.

Rating: C-. Everything without Jarrett in there was fine. When Mongo is better than you in a match, you need to get out. Thankfully Jarrett would jump to the WWF in about two months. This country music entrance that he had and all the stuff with Miss Debra didn’t work AT ALL, so they pushed it for the better part of a year. It just dragged everything down and no one ever cared. Jeff didn’t get interesting until he became a jerk with short hair in 1998. Then he was bearable.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Alex Wright

Wright is champion. Feeling out process to start with Wright running to the ropes. The fans chant gay slurs at him as the feeling out continues. Jericho charges at Wright which gets him nowhere. Some chops and right hands put Wright down on the floor and we stall some more. Back in Wright grabs a headlock which is quickly broken and Jericho hits a spinwheel kick to send Wright back to the floor.

As Alex comes back in, Jericho crotches him and hits the springboard dropkick to send him to the floor for a third time. Jericho finally gets bored and dives out to the floor to take Wright down. Wright sends him into the steps to take over and adds a suplex on the outside. Coming back in, Jericho LAUNCHES him off the top with a slam which gets two. Off to a headlock by the challenger. He goes to the arm instead as things slow down.

Wright comes back and counters a leapfrog with another spinwheel kick. The champ dances again as Dusty says a win here could drive a stake into the heart of the NWO. Ok then. Alex takes forever to set up a moonsault and Jericho rolls away. Lionsault hits Wright’s back but he adds a senton backsplash before getting two. Jericho’s double powerbomb gets a delayed two. Wright grabs a suplex for two and Jericho counters the German suplex into a cradle for the same. Wright reverses a rollup into one of his own with tights for the pin.

Rating: C-. It was slow paced for the most part but it was ok. The ending however sucked and it keeps up with the running theme of the night: not a horrible match but it’s nothing that you would ever want to see again. It’s also not great but it could have been far worse. That makes it the worst kind of match: just ok and mostly boring.

Syxx vs. Ric Flair

After a lot of stalling and taunting, we get an armdrag and it’s time for more stalling. Syxx controls a bit but misses a charge to send himself to the floor. Flair slows it down and Syxx does some of his usual stuff. Flair chops him down but Syxx comes back with a spin kick to the back of the head to take him down. Bronco Buster hits and it’s off to a chinlock. This is a really boring match so far.

Guillotine legdrop gets two. Back to the chinlock as this match needs to end already. We go to a wide shot of the crowd because the director is getting bored of the match too. Flair starts his comeback with his strikes but Syxx hits an enziguri to take him down. A flip dive misses and it’s time to go for the knee. Figure Four goes on but Syxx is in the ropes. Buzzkiller (Crossface chickenwing) is broken up so here’s another Bronco Buster. Flair puts his foot into Syxx’s crotch, rolls him up and uses the feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D. Whatever man. This went nowhere at all and was full of rest holds that didn’t do anything to excite the crowd. Syxx was so boring around this time as he knew he didn’t have to do anything because he was friends with the big shots. Also great to see Flair wasted on a midcard match instead of putting over some young guy. Very boring match.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Curt Hennig

This is a grudge match for some reason. We get a very quick brawl on the floor before they head back in for the bell. It’s a slugout to begin and Page spins Hennig around BY HIS HAIR. Hennig gets to do his slide into the post balls first spot. Page goes up but Curt falls onto the ropes to crotch him. There’s the necksnap and Hennig puts on a spinning toehold.

A quick sleeper is broken up by Page and he hooks a spinning sunset flip for two. Hennig clotheslines him down for two. A kickout lands on the referee so Hennig takes off the buckle pad. Page gets rammed into it but there’s no cover. Perfectplex gets two. Page starts his comeback and loads up the Pancake, but Hennig’s foot hits the referee. Cue Flair who comes off the top but walks into the Diamond Cutter. Another Perfectplex gets the pin. Page can kick his feet but can’t lift a free shoulder?

Rating: C. This was just ok and it’s pretty easily the best match of the night. Page and Hennig had good chemistry but there wasn’t much to do here. Flair coming in didn’t help anything at all but he was recruiting Hennig into the Horsemen which eventually resulted in what else? Hennig joining the NWO. Not a bad match but this show is pretty much beyond saving at this point.

Call the Hotline!

Promo from the NWO. It’s one of their pretaped deals.

According to Tony, the next three matches are the biggest in WCW history.

The Giant vs. Randy Savage

Nothing special to the match, but it’s the third biggest match in company history at worst. That would include being ahead of Luger winning the title on Monday I guess. Savage is NWO and Giant is one of WCW’s main soldiers against him. Savage stalls like the true Memphis man that he is. He gets in and tries to slam Giant which fails of course. Giant works him over with his usual power stuff until Savage heads to the floor.

That goes badly for him as well with Giant picking up the human shield known as Liz and moving her to the other side. Back in Savage takes out the knee and gets Giant down. He wraps the knee around the post and stomps on the knee some more. Double ax gets two but the second attempt is countered into a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash but that’s ok for the most part. Giant would move on to feuding with Nash soon after this in one of the stupidest and most pathetic displays I can remember in a long time. Anyway, the match was short enough to keep from getting boring which is more than I can say for the rest of the show.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Steiner Brothers

So here it is. After seven months of screwjobs, cheating finishes, no matches and everything else, the Outsiders have to face the Steiners for the titles. There is no reason for anything but new champions (the Outsiders are defending) here, so you should know what’s coming already. The Steiners come out on motorcycles, so let’s look at the fireworks instead! Scott and Scott get us going. For the sake of sanity during this match, Scott Hall will only be called Hall and Scott Steiner will only be called Scott.

Hall punches him down but Scott comes back with a butterfly suplex and everything breaks down. The Steiners clear the ring and they do their pose. Off to Rick vs. Nash with the giant trying Snake Eyes, only to get reversed into a suplex to put him down. Off to Scott but Hall’s distraction allows Nash to kick his head off and take over. Nash does the running crotch attack to the ropes and Scott is in trouble.

Off to Hall who hits his fallaway slam for two. Abdominal stretch goes on and the Outsiders cheat of course. Hall knocks Scott off the apron and it’s more dominance by the champions. Back to Nash for some chinlockery. Now for a change of pace, Hall comes in to give us the exact same thing. Scott picks Hall up and drops him down with an electric chair. Nash breaks up the tag again and Scott’s beating continues.

Big boot gets two. Nash does the leg choke in the corner but another big boot (this one with the left leg for some reason) misses. Scott can’t make the tag as Hall comes in with an elbow to the back. Outsider Edge is escaped and Scott hits a belly to belly to put both guys down. Hot tag to Rick and house is cleaned. Here comes the Steiner Bulldog to Hall and Nash pulls the referee out for the DQ. Yes, that’s the real ending.

Rating: D. Screw it. Seriously SCREW THIS COMPANY. There is ZERO reason at all to do this other than for the sake of screwing over the fans and the Steiners and keeping the belts on the Outsiders because they want them. The Steiners would win the titles in a few months (on Nitro of course) and no one cared because THEY SHOULD HAVE WON HERE. There is no reason for the titles to not change here that isn’t a service job for the NWO. Just freaking stupid and a big part of why the company was starting to reach trouble.

WCW World Title: Lex Luger vs. Hulk Hogan

It’s strange seeing the title on Luger for the first time. He never wore that belt back in the day despite chasing Flair for it for about four years. Feeling out process to start with both guys trading power moves. Luger runs him over so Hogan grabs the arm. Now Luger grabs Hogan’s arm. A few arm drags send Hogan to the floor and we take a breather on the floor. Back in the ring Hogan sends him into the corner and takes some control.

A slam and elbow drop get two. Off to a chinlock about six minutes into this. That’s a bit early no? Luger blocks a ram into the buckles and gives Hogan ten for his effort. Out to the floor and Hogan chokes away with a cord. We head back in and Hogan chokes in there instead. Off to a bearhug which evolves into the test of strength, which ends with a low blow to Lex.

Hogan is basically out of offense now so he just smacks Luger around with really basic slaps to various parts of the head. Big boot gets two. Luger no sells a suplex and makes his comeback but Luger takes him right back down. The legdrop misses and Lex fires off his clotheslines. Cue the NWO and despite three of them getting in the ring and a fourth getting on the apron, that isn’t a DQ. Cue Sting (the announcers are sure that it’s the real one, even though he’s black) who hits Luger with the bat and the legdrop gives Hogan the title back.

Rating: F+. Whatever here man. It’s a bad ending to a bad show. Hogan clearly had no business being out there for 16 minutes because he didn’t have anything to use after the end of his five move offense. The title change on Monday meant nothing and the ending here is stupid due to the announcers not noticing the incredible tan that Sting has gotten I guess.

It’s Dennis Rodman of course. The last eight minutes or so are the announcers freaking out and Hogan celebrating. Oh and they spraypaint the belt in the back and initiate Rodman into the NWO.

Overall Rating: F. You know until the end of this, I would have been ok with just saying that this was boring but not all that bad. Then they had the two IDIOT endings like they did which was more of the same. It was clear by this point that the NWO was about to cripple the company. Based on this it’s no surprise that the WWF would be starting to draw closer.

It wouldn’t happen for about 8 months, but once the WWF took over again, they wouldn’t let go (mostly) because WCW was that stupid. This is a great example of it, although the tag match is much worse than the main event from a booking perspective. The main event’s booking makes sense due to Sting in December, but the wrestling was just awful. Terrible show.

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It’s after SuperBrawl now and we’re on the way to Uncensored, which had a very unique and what I thoguht was a very entertaining main event. That’s in three weeks though so for now we’ll stay on this show. Piper lost last night after Savage became the newest member of the NWO. Yeah I’m as shocked as you are. Other than that not a lot happened other than Luger and Giant beginning what I’m sure will be a LONG tag title reign. Let’s get to it.

Public Enemy vs. Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael

Jarrett beat Mongo last night to become an official Horseman. Rock is now bald and starts with Mongo. That goes absolutely nowhere so a double tag brings in the other guys. Grunge puts him down with a swinging neckbreaker and Rock comes back in to work on the shoulder. Rock misses a charge in the corner and Jarrett stomps away on him. Off to Mongo for nothing and Jeff comes back in. Jeff leapfrogs him and Mongo takes out Rock’s legs twice in a row. Rock tries a leapfrog but gets powerbombed down. Here’s the briefcase but he hits Jarrett again, allowing Rock to get the pin.

Rating: D+. This feud just wouldn’t end no matter how long it kept going for. At the end of the day though, Jarrett and Debra weren’t interesting at all but they kept forcing those two and Mongo down our throats all summer. Jarrett FINALLY went back to the WWF and Mongo stopped getting TV time to end it, but that’s months away.

Cue the Horsemen to the ring to yell at Mongo. Anderson rips him apart and Flair is mad. Flair says we need to be a team. Anderson says that everyone is getting stronger while we’re getting weaker. Jarrett and Mongo are the only two healthy Horsemen so Anderson makes them shake hands.

Jim Duggan vs. Galaxy

Galaxy is somewhat more famous as Damien. Tony says this will be a classic. We need to have a chat about what that means. Galaxy is just tiny compared to Duggan. Duggan throws him around and backdrops him with ease. Out to the floor and the fans are into Jim here. Duggan beats up Galaxy on the floor and no sells Galaxy’s limited offense in the ring. Three Point Clothesline and the taped fist get the pin. Nothing but a squash.

Post match Duggan challenges Hogan.

Hugh Morrus vs. Joe Gomez

Gomez takes him into the corner to start and breaks clean. Morrus takes him into the corner and pounds on him. See who had the better career and figure out what the smart move to make is. Gomez tries to speed things up and grabs an armbar which defeats the purpose of speeding things up. A dropkick puts Morrus down and it’s back to the armbar. Morrus catches a leapfrog into kind of a spinebuster to set up No Laughing Matter for the pin. This was nothing again.

We get some stills of last night’s Sullivan vs. Benoit match. It was another wild brawl. I don’t remember Woman looking good like this at all from this era.

Ice Train vs. La Parka

We get an inset interview from Teddy Long to Jackie of all people. La Parka starts with rapid fire kicks but Train runs him down and hiptosses him for two. Train keeps running him over but La Parka hits an enziguri to take over. Top rope spinwheel kick gets two. World’s Strongest Slam gives Train the advantage again and a corner splash has La Parka flattened. The masked man comes back again with a spinwheel kick (he likes that one) and Train is knocked to the floor. A big corkscrew plancha takes him out and they head back inside. Train hits a HUGE clothesline and a splash for the pin.

Rating: D+. I liked Ice Train but this didn’t work all that well for me. I seem to remember these two having a match a few weeks ago that was better than this. Not much to this but the power vs. speed idea is something that it’s hard to screw up. Given who was in this, it was what you would call a pleasant surprise.

Chris Jericho/Eddie Guerrero vs. Faces of Fear

Jericho and Guerrero faced each other last night for Eddie’s US Title with the champion retaining. Barbarian and Jericho get things going. Eddie comes in with a cross body but his cover is easily shrugged off. Off to Meng who shrugs off all of Eddie’s offense and headbutts him down. BIG (not HUGE) powerbomb plants Eddie but he comes back with a headscissors which allows the tag.

The small guys double team Meng but it doesn’t get them very far. A backsplash gets two but Meng kills Jericho with a belly to back. Barbarian hits a superplex to the Canadian but Jericho manages a rollup for two. Meng will have none of that though as the Faces (of Fear) hit their backdrop into the powerbomb spot which is always cool.

There’s the double headbutt but Eddie makes the save. Jericho finally avoids an elbow drop and it’s off to Eddie. Everything breaks down and it’s time to fly. Jericho loads up a Lionsault but Barbarian stops him from trying (he would have missed by a mile anyway). Dean Malenko comes out and shoves Eddie off the top, right into Meng’s boot for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good here but you again had power vs. speed with the speed team being a very good combination. Based on that alone you’re going to have a good match. Malenko lost the title last night because of Eddie so so there’s your explanation for the interference. Fun match.

Time for hour #2. There’s not much to recap so we’ll talk about the PPV a bit. Oh ok we can talk about the Horsemen from earlier.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Rey Mysterio

Juvy doesn’t mean much yet. Rey tries a kind of backbreaker but Juvy counters into a DDT and a springboard spinwheel kick to take Rey down. Off to a knee lock but Rey kicks him in the face to escape. They grab a test of strength grip and we get a nice gymnastics routine. Rey tries a moonsault press but Juvy ducks underneath and hits one of his own for two. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. There’s a SWEET springboard into a sunset bomb by Guerrera. Out to the floor goes Rey and Juvy hits a sweet suicide dive. Juvy’s rana is countered into a powerbomb and the West Coast Pop gets the pin.

Rating: C+. These two are usually gold together but this was bronze at best. Still though they were the best at this point for the high flying and the flips and stuff like that. Also there was a great bit of commentary in this right before Rey went up for the finish. Tony: “He’s going to try something from the top too.” Heenan: “Thank you Sherlock!”

Lee Marshall is in Atlanta.

TV Title: Pat Tanaka vs. Prince Iaukea

Tanaka comes out to what would become Goldberg’s theme. Slow feeling out process to start as the Prince is very apprehensive. Iaukea tries a kick to the ribs but gets caught in a dragon screw legwhip. Prince comes back with another kick and it’s time to stand around. He takes Tanaka down, hits a springboard senton backsplash and the top rope cross body retains. Bad match.

Dean Malenko vs. Ultimo Dragon

Dean is all serious to start and drives Dragon into the corner. They go to the mat and trade some quick submission holds. That goes to a stalemate so Dean offers a handshake and pulls Dragon into a clothesline. Dragon gets ticked off and fires off his kick series to take over. Dean trips him up and fires off fists to send Dragon to the floor. Dragon is whipped into the barricade as Malenko is turning heel as the match goes on.

Back in for a chinlock as Malenko is in control. That shifts into a camel clutch but Dragon reverses into a surfboard. This is the seated version with the chinlock instead of the full bridge. Now it’s the Indian Deathlock with the bridge. This is getting fun. Sunset flip gets two for Malenko. Tiger bomb gets two for the same. Dragon sends him to the apron and tries the same springboard dropkick that Jericho uses but it TOTALLY misses.

Dean is knocked to the floor anyway but Dragon hits a big dive to take Dean out to make up for the miss. Back in Dragon hits a springboard rana for two but Dean rolls through for two. La Majistral gets two for Dragon. Dean snaps off a release German and chokes Dragon which is completely against his character. Sonny gets on the apron and earns a right hand. Dean keeps choking and gets disqualified.

Rating: B-. As always these two have great chemistry together. Dragon was one of the few people that could keep up with Dean on the mat but had a different style to him than Eddie or Benoit which made him a more interesting opponent. This was good and it gave Dean a heel turn which was a good thing for him here.

Dean says he’s tired of the lack of respect he’s been getting. He’s coming for Syxx too.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Dave Taylor

Taylor is in a pith helmet, khakis and a vest. Two of those come off to get us to the match. Taylor starts fast but Page knocks him back. Cue the Outsiders as Page hits what we would call a TKO to take out Taylor. No cover though as Page stares down the Outsiders. Savage runs in through the crowd to set up the main event feud of the summer. The match just ended. A fan runs in which goes badly for him. Page gets spraypainted and takes the elbow. Savage officially gets his NWO shirt.

After a break the NWO is still in the ring. Hall talks for a bit about nothing in particular and brings out Hogan. He gives Savage a gift: the now happy Elizabeth.

Tag Titles: Lex Luger/The Giant vs. Harlem Heat

And never mind as Eric comes out and says the titles are going back to the Outsiders because Luger wasn’t medically cleared. Luger says he’ll do it if all of the titles were on the line at Uncensored. This stipulation would lasts all of five minutes because it was forgotten the next week. Luger talks about getting a team together which means….oh dear it’s THAT segment next week. Sting comes out with the bat and stares at Luger. Then he stares at Hogan, who hugs him to no reaction. Announcers: “HE’S NWO!”

Overall Rating: C+. See, this is what good wrestling gets you. Nothing really happened again here but the wrestling was good. That also made the show go by faster which is always a good thing. The main event would be set up next week in one of the dumbest segments ever, which would go against one of the best Raws ever. Then again no one was watching Raw at this point so it didn’t matter. Better show this week.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 16, 2001
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole

This is the go home show for Invasion and the idea is that Team WWF has no real leader. Vince begged with Austin to be the old Stone Cole instead of the hilarious one he’s been lately. The Alliance has officially been formed and we’re getting ready for the Inaugural Brawl on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Smackdown with Vince asking Austin to be the old Stone Cole again. He begged Austin to beat him up but Austin shook his head no, walked up the ramp, and left. Vince yelled back at Austin to come back and stun him, ala Shane (the movie, not the kid).

Austin is at the Friendly Tap here in Providence instead of at the arena.

Taker/Kane vs. Page/Rhyno is the main event.

Here’s Spike on crutches to open the show with a major announcement. He’s got something that’s been building in him for awhile and would like Molly to come out here. The announcement is that he loves her. She loves him too. Spike gives her a rose and Molly says she has something for him too but she can’t give it to him here. Spike: “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you and good night!”

Cue Heyman to interrupt the live sex celebration. Heyman says Spike needs to join ECW before this gets insane. Go to the penthouse suite and take care of things with Molly then come to the ECW offices. ECW has offices? Spike declines and says he’s staying with Molly. There’s a place in ECW for Molly too. It’ll only take some liposuction and breast implants.

Spike defends Molly but the Dudleys come out to stop that. Bubba says Spike cost them the tag belts and accuses him of stealing their spotlight. People should be talking about ECW but they’re talking about Spike and Molly. D-Von jumps him and tie him in the ropes. Molly tries to fight back but winds up going through a table.

Angle is practicing his speech to Vince to offer his services as leader of Team WWF on Sunday. Vince comes in and Angle mentions that Austin is at the Friendly Tap. He pitches his idea of leading Team WWF and Vince doesn’t even acknowledge it.

Farrooq vs. Chuck Palumbo

Cole is already screwing things up as he says this is a tag match. O’Haire and Bradshaw are here and these four are the WCW and WWF tag champions. Palumbo charges into the ring and takes over to start but Farrooq pounds him down. The tag teams will meet on Sunday at Invasion in a non-title match. A dropkick puts Farrooq on the floor and Palumbo adds a baseball slide. O’Haire gets involved and eats some steps due to Bradshaw. DDT gets two for Palumbo. Farrooq hits a spinebuster but O’Haire distracts him, allowing the superkick from Palumbo to get the pin. That might be the first Alliance win that was almost clean.

Angle complains to Steve Lombardi that he should be the leader. He calls him Bomber to be funny. Kurt: “I can be extreme. I drank milk the day after it expired once.” Raven comes in and says Kurt isn’t extreme. Angle says Raven isn’t missed so Raven does some of his poetry. Angle asks what most people ask when they hear a Raven promo: what are you talking about? Anyway it’s Raven vs. Angle later, ECW rules. Angle: “WWF rules pal!” Angle was awesome in this role.

Mike Awesome vs. Edge

Before the match, Storm issues a challenge for Invasion between the two of them vs. Edge/Christian. Storm will have no more of these offbeat shenanigans! Five points for working shenanigans in. Here are the Canadians and Christian says Holy Jurassic Park, we’ve actually found a living, breathing Reekasaurus Rex. The tag match is made and offbeat shenanigans RULE!

Awesome controls to start and splashes him into the corner. Edge comes back with a clothesline and neckbreaker for two. Awesome takes it to the floor and rams Edge into the apron. Back in Edge gets his knees up and fires off some dropkicks. Awesome Bomb is countered into the Buzzkiller (Edgecution) but Storm puts the foot on the rope. Storm comes in and is easily dispatched. Christian brings in chairs for a Conchairto but as the referee gets rid of them, Storm superkicks Edge and Awesome gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Eh not bad but the Alliance guys still can’t get a clean win no matter what they do. This is the problem that they had for the entire run of the angle: there’s no reason to assume that the WWF was ever in any real danger because they never got beaten clean at all. Eventually someone competent would beat WCW/ECW (not yet called the Alliance actually) so why get worried?

On a related note, Cole says the WWF is 0-3 tonight. After two matches. I don’t even need to make fun of him anymore.

Stephanie, with her horrible braided hair, praises Booker for how awesome he is. Jericho comes in and makes Seinfeld references with Steph. He calls her a w**** so Booker gets in his face. They fight for the WCW Title tonight.

Regal fires up Tajiri for Regal’s match tonight with Tazz. Not sure how that works but whatever. Tajiri will be doing commentary. This should be good.

Stephanie talks to the other parts of the Triad of Terror (Shane/Heyman) about Booker’s match tonight. They announce Team Alliance for Sunday: Booker, DDP, Dudleys and Rhyno. So we have Booker, a tag team that lost to the APA, a guy that has gotten mauled by Undertaker every time it’s been fair, and a lackey to a tag team against the five best the WWF has to offer. SMELL THE BUYRATE!!!

Vince comes to the Friendly Tap, which appears to be totally empty other than Austin, Vince and Debra. He apologizes to Austin for what he asked on Thursday but he still needs Austin tonight. Austin keeps drinking and turns his back on Vince. Vince says he’s heading back tot he arena and hopes to see Austin there tonight.

Tazz vs. William Regal

Tajiri is on commentary. Apparently he did this on Smackdown as well. The brawl starts on the floor but heads inside quickly. Knee Trembler puts Tazz down but Tazz comes back with a suplex. This draws Tajiri into the ring for a showdown. Tajiri says wait and takes his shirt off to reveal an ECW one underneath. Regal is shocked…..and then Tajiri turns AGAIN, breaking Chyna’s record for time between turns. He kicks Tazz in the head and puts him in the Tarantula. That makes ECWCW 3-0 tonight, or 17-0 if you’re Michael Cole. Good to see they didn’t do the face turn at the PPV or anything like that. We HAD to do it immediately.

DDP gives Rhyno a Best of Sara tape for the Alliance to watch.

Tim White talks to Austin and says he closed the whole bar for him today. That explains a few things. White says he knows Austin will make the right decision.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Chris Jericho

JR calls Booker a sellout. How is he a sellout exactly? He’s working for the company that made him famous. Feeling out process to start and the springboard dropkick sends Booker to the outside. Baseball slide sends Booker flying and they fight on the floor a bit. Back in a top rope cross body gets two for Chris. Booker comes back with the spinwheel kick as the announcers talk about how much they need Austin.

Jericho comes back with something kind of like a spear to set up the Walls but Shane comes up for the distraction. Booker superkicks the Canadian for two. Alabama Slam (called a powerbomb by Cole) gets two. Booker hooks a chinlock but Jericho quickly breaks it and hits a flapjack to put everyone down. Jericho chops away and a middle rope dropkick gets two. It should be three but Nick Patrick’s shoulder is bothering him.

Jericho tries the Lionsault but Booker rolls away. Chris lands on his feet and avoids the axe kick. There are the Walls and Booker taps but Nick Patrick has a knee injury this time. Earl Hebner comes in and decks Patrick. He sees the tap and goes to call for the bell but Shane hits him. The distraction lets Booker get a fast rollup with a fast count from Patrick to keep the belt in WCW.

Rating: B-. Fun match but again the ending hurts it. Jericho and Booker should be out there having 20 minute wars instead of these things to build up to a referees’ match on Sunday. That might be interesting though so we can’t have that. Anyway, good match between talented people so there’s no surprise here.

Heyman talks to Saturn in the back and offers him a spot in the Alliance. Saturn says Snausages.

Raven vs. Kurt Angle

This is under ECW Rules, meaning street fight/hardcore. Angle spears him down immediately to make him drop whatever Raven has in his hand. Kurt hits him with the medals. That’s a new one. Raven comes back with a drop toehold onto a trashcan (doesn’t dent) for two. Angle pounds him down and rips Raven’s shirt off to choke him. Sign to the head sets up a trashcan to the head and a few to the back. Raven counters into the clothesline and bulldog out of the corner (basically stolen by Punk) but Kurt breaks it with ease. Angle Slam and Ankle Lock end this. Total squash.

Angle destroys Raven post match with various evil submissions until Justin Credible, Kanyon and some other guy run out. They get cleared out without landing a single punch by a chair from Kurt. The one major bright spot in this story: it made Angle look like a STAR.

Austin shoots pool.

Hardy Boys vs. Dudley Boys

Welcome to a game of HOW MANY TIMES CAN THESE TEAMS POSSIBLY FIGHT???? Matt is European Champion and Jeff is Hardcore Champion. Trish (dating Jeff I think) and Lita stay in the back, prompting a WE WANT LITA chant. Matt and D-Von start us off with Matt keeping control. Jeff comes in and gets taken down very quickly by the other brothers.

Bubba gets two off an elbow drop. Double flapjack puts Jeff down and it’s D-Von again. Matt offers a quick distraction so Jeff can punch Ray in the balls. It allows the hot tag to Matt and everything breaks down. Twist/Swanton combo gets two on D-Von as Ray saves. Matt tries a sunset flip but RVD comes in and holds D-Von’s arms as he goes down for the pin on Matt.

Rating: C-. Picture any Hardys vs. Dudleys match. This one wasn’t as good as whichever one you picked. In short, this feud has been PLAYED. They had the same three teams feuding in some combination or the other for over a year and a half. The same thing happened in the main event with HHH, Rock and Austin dominating everything for almost two years. People got tired of it which is why things died off.

Five Star to Jeff.

The APA isn’t happy and Vince wants to know what they’re going to do about it. Vince says that since Austin won’t be here, the rest of them have to.

Shane and Stephanie say that they’ve sold their stock to finance the Invasion. Therefore, DON’T SCREW UP. Heyman gives his usual speech which fires people up.

The APA, Taker and Vince give a speech to the WWF C Team. Taker says screw Austin so let’s do it ourselves. Angle is in there too so it’s not totally the C Team. They actually wheel in FREDDIE BLASSIE to give them a big pep talk. Does anyone actually buy that it’s this serious of a threat from a bunch of WCW jobbers and 1-2 big names?

Austin watches from the bar and leaves.

Trish Stratus vs. Terri

Terri slaps her to start but can’t handle walking so Trish giant swings her. I’m sure this match is happening for competition rather than to see Terri in a skin colored bikini right? A bulldog by Trish ends this if you’re curious.

Trish goes to strip her post match when Stacy and Torrie run in. Lita makes the save.

Diamond Dallas Page/Rhyno vs. Undertaker/Kane

The Brothers clear the ring early on. Kane and Rhyno officially get us going and the horny one takes a powerslam. This is one of those matches where everyone hits high power and high impact stuff from the bell. Taker comes in to knock Rhyno around a lot. Old School sends Rhyno to the floor and it breaks down even more. The Brothers beat on them even more and here are the Dudleys. I’m not going to bother rating it because it was far more of a brawl than a match.

Team ECWCW beats on them until Team WWF plus a bunch of guys come out. It turns into a huge battle royal and there’s another part in the parking lot. Austin is here! He beats up everyone with the pool cue but doesn’t touch the WWF guys. The ECWCW guys start to clear the ring but CUE GLASS SHATTER! Austin walks in and he clears house. He hits about ten Stunners and the Brothers are up again.

Shane and Stephanie find Blassie in the back and tell him he’ll be dead soon, just like the WWF. Gee, nice of you guys to end the show with THAT instead of Austin standing tall.

Overall Rating: D+. Where do I even begin? First and foremost, WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I WANT TO BUY INVASION NOW??? Austin and Team WWF just destroyed Team WCW plus about ten other guys like it was nothing. We’re led to believe that the WWF is unbeatable which is saying a lot considering they’re outnumbered in this.

This is the Invasion in a nutshell: the WWF looks awesome, the Alliance can’t do jack, so they pick off some WWF guys who can fight for them. With what was available, why in the world would you do this? Heaven forbid that WCW looks even slightly better than WWF for 5 seconds. We can’t have that. I mean, it might make us a billion dollars.

Here’s Invasion if you’re interested: