Smackdown – May 9, 2014: The Hangover Edition

Smackdown
Date: May 9, 2014
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

After Monday dealt with the fallout from Extreme Rules, which was fallout from Wrestlemania, we get to deal with the fallout from the fallout here on Smackdown. The main story at the moment is Evolution laying out Shield to end the show, meaning we’re likely setting up Evolution vs. Shield II at Payback. Also Daniel Bryan has gone from a monster at Wrestlemania to Laurie Strode about a month later. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the battle royal where Sheamus won the US Title, last eliminating reigning champion Dean Ambrose. This transitions into a recap of the main event where Evolution helped the Wyatts defeat Shield and beat down the Hounds of Justice post match.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose

No Rollins and Reigns outside this time. Dean is favoring his ribs or arm coming in but takes Sheamus down to start. The champion counters into a headlock takeover followed by a running shoulder. Cole is already playing up Sheamus getting the title through less than fair measures, even though he won the match though totally fair and legal means. Sheamus cranks on the arm but Dean fights back with that kind of running Thesz Press of his.

They head outside with Sheamus ramming Ambrose into the announce table but getting suplexed onto the floor. Sheamus comes back with a rolling fireman’s carry as we take a break. Back with Dean fighting out of a full nelson and hammering away at Sheamus’ head. Sheamus goes shoulder first into the post and out to the floor, setting up a great looking suicide dive from Dean. Back in and we hit the Figure Four, which is some pretty lame psychology after Sheamus’ shoulder hit the post and barricade about twenty seconds ago.

The champ gets to a rope and comes back with the Irish Curse and a Cloverleaf. Another rope is grabbed and Dean heads to the apron, setting up the ten forearms to the chest. A big kick to the chest sends Dean into the ropes but he explodes out with a clothesline to put both guys down. Back up and the Brogue Kick out of nowhere sends Ambrose to the floor. Ambrose dives back in at nine, only to take a second Brogue Kick for the pin at 8:19 shown of 11:49.

Rating: C+. Again, I don’t see why this is supposed to be the start of a heel turn for Sheamus. He won the title in a match that is about everyone being in the ring at the same time where the announcers talk about how you have to watch your back. Then he beats the former champion clean with his finishing move. That sounds like one man being better than the other, not one man cheating to win. If that’s where they’re going, then hopefully Sheamus starts doing some heelish stuff instead of the turn being forced because the script says that’s what happens.

Rob Van Dam/Big E. vs. Bad News Barrett/Cesaro

Van Dam has a big black eye and Heyman is on commentary. The Bad News for the week is that climate change is coming and soon people like Big E. are going to be forgotten pieces of history. Barrett hammers on Van Dam to start but gets caught by the springboard kick to the face. Bad News puts on a chinlock as Heyman talks about Brock beating Undertaker. Another kick puts Barrett down and it’s a double tag to Big E. and Cesaro. Big E. takes over with the usual and gets two off the splash. A Rock Bottom out of the corner gets the same but Van Dam accidentally kicks Big E., setting up the Neutralizer for the pin at 2:38.

We look at stills of Bryan vs. Kane from the PPV.

Rusev vs. Kofi Kingston

Just Rusev now. We get another pro-Putin rant from Lana before the match, saying he should win the Nobel Peace Prize. Kofi fires off some kicks to start but gets crushed by a jumping kick to the face. A dropkick staggers Rusev and Kofi hammers away with right hands in the corner, only to have his sunset flip countered by a choke. The cross body gets two on Rusev but Kofi slams him down and hooks the Accolade for the win at 2:06.

The Wyatts come on screen with Bray talking about how the world must crumble because we’re all just slaves to judgment. Judgment tells him he must adapt and it is judgment that says he must bow to Cena. But where we’re going, no one ever comes back.

Bolieve!

Layla/Fandango vs. Santino Marella/Emma

Santino takes Fandango down with a headlock to start but the dancer slams him down. He takes too long dancing on the middle rope though and misses a knee drop, allowing for a double tag to the girls. There’s the Dilemma to Layla and everything breaks down. Emma loads up the pink Cobra but the guys fighting allows Layla to roll her up for the pin at 2:06.

Fandango and Layla kiss on stage.

Roman Reigns vs. Mark Henry

We get an inset interview from Henry saying this is about revenge for Shield attacking him 3-1 a few months ago. Points for continuity. Henry throws Reigns into the corner a few times before winning a slugout by going for Roman’s bad ribs. Mark talks a bunch of trash about how Reigns is by himself tonight and you can hear JBL cover up a laugh. He bends Reigns’ bad ribs around the post as this is one sided so far.

As I say that, Reigns comes back with the jumping clothesline to put Henry down for the first time. Roman tries another charge but runs into a clothesline from Mark. Henry loads up what appeared to be a Vader Bomb but Reigns lifts him onto his shoulders and plants Mark with a Samoan drop. The spear is enough for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: C-. This was a nice mini story with Reigns fighting through adversity and going into Beast Mode to win in the end. That’s the kind of win that makes Reigns look like a monster who isn’t going to be stopped and that’s exactly what he needs at this point. It’s not a masterpiece and was just a quick match but it was nice to see.

3MB vs. Los Matadores/El Torito

It’s Slater/McIntyre for 3MB here along with Horny. McIntyre clotheslines Fernando down for two to start before stomping away. Off to Slater as the big guys start tagging in and out to work over Fernando. JBL drops a Bastian Booger birthday greeting of all things as Horny comes in for some shots of his own. 3MB keeps up the tags until Fernando scores with a dropkick to put both guys down.

Horny: “TAG ME IN! I WANT TO RIP HIS FACE OFF!” Both small guys get tags and Torito starts biting, only to get punched in the jaw for his efforts. The Gore puts Horny on the floor but only seems to tick him off. Slater won’t tag in for some reason but does break up a pin attempt off a splash. Heath comes in legally but misses a charge, allowing Torito to hit a moonsault press for the pin at 4:23.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing to see but that’s become the standard for this feud. Speaking of nothing to see, did Los Matadores fall into a hole for the second half of the match? I’d assume they were fighting with the other full sized guys but the camera didn’t catch much of it if they were. This feud has run out of steam though.

Long recap of Bryan vs. Kane on Monday.

Mr. T. wishes us a Happy Mother’s Day.

Batista vs. Seth Rollins

This has potential. Rollins is banged up as well with a bad arm and misses a charge into the corner to start. Another missed charge sends Rollins to the floor and Batista ties him up in the ring skirt for a beating. The fans tell Batista he can’t wrestle before he pulls Rollins away from the ropes for a big crash to the mat. Back outside already with Seth going into the steps.

We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Batista goes after the bad arm by wrapping it around the post. Batista tries to pull Rollins out of the corner again but Seth backflips (mostly) to his feet. Big Dave misses a charge of his own and goes shoulder first into the post, allowing Rollins to hit some running forearms in the corner. A running sleeper slam from Rollins sets up the standing Sliced Bread #2 but Batista gets away.

Seth scores with an enziguri from the apron but misses the top rope knee to the head, only to run into the spinebuster. The Batista Bomb is countered and now the running knee sends Batista down to the floor. Seth goes up top for a dive, only to be sent face first into the announce table for the countout at 8:55.

Rating: C+. Give this another five minutes and it’s a far better match. This was another good sign for the Shield as Rollins can clearly hang in there with a big star in a longer match. He reminds me of a Jeff Hardy in the ring with all of the dives and it’s easy to get behind his comebacks.

Post match Batista lays Rollins out with a Batista Bomb.

Wyatt Family vs. Usos/John Cena

Cena runs over Rowan to start and scores with a quick release fisherman’s suplex. Harper comes in for one of those freaky looks of his so Cena takes him down with a bulldog. Off to Jey for some shots to the face before Jimmy comes in for some running shots in the corner. Luke comes back with a right hand of his own and it’s off to Rowan who walks into a Jimmy punch. Harper comes back in to take over on Jey with catapult into the middle rope for two.

Bray is legal for the first time and chokes even more as this isn’t the most energetic match in the world. Wyatt does the Spider Walk out of the corner but Jey kicks his arm away in a nice counter. A low bridge puts Bray on the floor but Harper breaks up a tag attempt. There’s the Gator Roll followed by a chinlock before it’s back to Erick for a headlock.

Jey shoves him into the corner and avoids a splash, finally allowing for the hot tag to Jimmy to face Bray. Cena gets in a cheap shot from the apron as Jimmy superkicks Harper down for two. Bray and Rowan double team Cena but Jimmy dives on all three of them. He goes back inside though and eats the discus lariat from Harper for the pin at 8:18.

Rating: D+. The match was fine from a technical standpoint but there was no energy to this at all. It felt like a dark match or the main event of a house show at the end of a long tour. Most of it was just punching and variations of chinlocks with no real big saves and almost nothing from Cena at all. I expected more from this one but it does advance the Family vs. Usos down the line.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t much of a show as it’s really just a supplement to Raw, which wasn’t a great show in the first place. It’s cool to see the Shield wrestling on their own and they didn’t perform horribly, but the rest of the show really didn’t do anything for me at all. It’s really just a long set of matches that don’t change anything and won’t matter by the time Monday comes around.
 

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Smackdown – May 2, 2014: An Honest To Goodness US Title Match!

Smackdown
Date: May 2, 2014
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re two days away from Extreme Rules and everything is set up. WWE has been doing a good job of getting things ready for the show and making me care about the matches, which is something they should have been doing for years when the shows weren’t ten bucks a month but that’s a different story. Anyway, the main event tonight is Ambrose defending in a 3-1 handicap match against Del Rio, Ryback and Axel so let’s get to it.

 

The opening video talks shows HHH taking credit for Shield’s rise to the top but maybe he gave them a bit too much power. This transitions into a clip of their brawl that ended the show with Shield standing tall. The match on Sunday should rock.

The handicap match is now a fourway.

Sheamus/Usos vs. Wyatt Family

This has potential. Sheamus is here after losing to Bray on Main Event thanks to the Family. The Usos made the save so here’s a six man to continue the story. Jey starts with Harper and gets two off a quick shoulder before it’s off to Sheamus for power vs. power. They slug it out with Sheamus taking over until it’s off to Rowan who rams Sheamus into the corner. Back to Luke for another slugout with Sheamus taking over via the rolling fireman’s carry. A knee drop gets two on Harper but Harper comes back with a hard shot to the jaw.

Rowan comes in but misses a charge, allowing Sheamus to nail a knee lift. A cross body of all things puts Rowan and Sheamus on the floor and a staredown takes us to a break. Back with Bray getting the tag to work over Sheamus in the corner. Wyatt runs Sheamus over and crawls along the mat in the eerie way that only he can. Back to Erick for a knee drop followed by a good looking superkick from Luke for two.

Harper knocks an Uso off the apron but walks into the Irish Curse to put both big guys down. A hot tag brings in Jimmy to speed things up and Harper takes a Samoan drop. Jimmy nails an enziguri to Harper and some shots to the face put Rowan and Wyatt on the floor. The Whisper in the Wind misses though and Harper nails a Michinoku Driver for two. Everything breaks down and Sheamus lays out Rowan with the Brogue Kick. In all the confusion, Bray makes a blind tag and plants Jimmy with Sister Abigail for the pin at 7:44 shown of 11:14.

Rating: C. Nothing wrong with this as the Family gets a win and the Usos are pinned in a six man rather than the usual tag match. I’d assume this sets up Harper/Rowan vs. Usos, potentially at Extreme Rules, which would be an acceptable title match given how weak the division is for the most part anymore. Nice opener here.

Post match the Usos dive on the Family but Bray lays them out. Sheamus tries to fight all three monsters but the numbers catch up with him. The Irishman is thrown into the steps and taken down by Luke’s discus lariat.

Adam Rose is coming on Monday. “Next stop, Monday Night Raw! Come along! I HAVE BUNNIES!”

It’s time for the contract signing for Torito vs. Hornswoggle with Vickie running things. 3MB and Los Matadores are here as well and Slater says Horny has some demands. First off, he wants 300 mini green M&Ms and 3MB’s greatest hits playing for his training sessions plus 10 copies of Rudy on Blu-Ray. Torito interrupts him and yells in Spanish with Diego translating: “If you mess with the bull, you get the horns.” Vickie says she wants to keep this night and short and cackles at her joke. Horny signs but Torito doesn’t have hands.

Instead they put ink on his hoof and slam it down onto the contract. Horny says he’ll prove he’s the bigger man and moves his chair up a bit. Torito cranks his even higher so Hornswoggle gets a booster seat. They both get on the table and shove each other before a pose off begins. The brawl is finally on and Horny gets gored down onto Mahal. Los Matadores clear the ring and Torito uses the table as a launch pad to dive onto the Band. Yeah this went long, but at least they’re playing it as totally goofy which helps a ton.

Jack Swagger vs. Rob Van Dam

The triple threat on Sunday is now an elimination match. Before the match Cesaro comes out with his new music that sounds like the start of Attitude Era Raw. Swagger uses the distraction to go after Van Dam as Heyman jumps in on commentary. An early Vader Bomb gets two for Jack and a belly to belly gets the same. Van Dam is sent to the floor and gets kicked in the face by Swagger but Cesaro grabs Jack’s foot, allowing Rob to hit a quick kick and the Five Star for the pin at 1:52.

Post match Cesaro Neutralizes Van Dam.

Bolieve!

Alexander Rusev vs. R-Truth

Lana has her hair down for a change as she rants about America invoking sanctions against Mother Russia. Rusev takes Truth into the corner and fires off a series of kicks to the ribs before getting caught with a side kick to the face. Rusev falls to the floor but is able to punch Woods out. Truth dives over the top but gets caught in the air and thrown back inside. Woods comes in for the DQ at 1:04. This was the second time the match took place for what was likely a reshoot.

Truth and Woods clear out Rusev a few times post match.

Here’s Daniel Bryan in the neck brace with something to say. Thankfully he’s brought the titles with him this week. Daniel says he’s the same as all the fans right here in Kansas City. They come together and overcome obstacles every day. They also take care of their families and that’s everyone’s number one priority. This Sunday, with a lot of faith, determination and heart, he’s going to walk into the Extreme Rules as champion and he’s going to walk out as Champion.

Kane put him in this neck brace and put him in pain but none of that matters because Kane put his hands on Daniel’s wife. This is more than personal now because it’s a war. On Sunday Bryan will send Kane home by any means necessary and if that means Bryan goes out with him then so be it.

Kane comes on screen in the mask and says Daniel is making that sounds like a bad thing. When he and Bryan arrive in the devil’s home together, he’ll give Bryan a tour. We get a preview of it in the form of a Kane highlight video, showing him injuring Bryan over the last few weeks. Kane promises to show Daniel the depths of his depravity and gives an evil laugh.

Bolieve!

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

Damien is still dressed like Magneto. Cole asks JBL to tell us about Magneto and we get a somewhat in depth character biography. Sandow even has the helmet (hood) on as Ziggler takes him down with an armdrag. A Stinger Splash in the corner sets up a neckbreaker on Sandow followed by an elbow drop for two. Damien comes back with a flipping neckbreaker for two and an armbar that Cole calls the Magnet. The Wind-Up elbow connects but Ziggler hammers away. We stop for Magneto to use powers but since there’s no metal on Ziggler, he nails a dropkick and Zig Zag for the pin at 3:23.

Rating: D+. Sandow was destined to become a comedy character so I can live with this for the most part. Thankfully Dolph didn’t sell the magnetic powers stuff, putting him one step ahead of anyone who ever solid Little Jimmy. It’s almost hard to believe that Sandow was Mr. Money in the Bank less than a year ago.

Video on Paige vs. Tamina.

Big E. vs. Titus O’Neal

Non-title. Big E. muscles him to the mat before leapfrogging over Titus. He runs O’Neal over with ease and kicks him to the floor with one foot. Titus LAUNCHES Big E. over the announce table and then throws him on top of it for good measure. Back in and Titus hammers away in the corner before putting Big E. over his shoulder for a kneeling backbreaker. O’Neal chokes away and that’s a DQ at 2:16. Great way to make me believe in Big E. going into Sunday.

Post match Big E. destroys Titus and whips him into the announce table a few times. He stands over Titus in the ring which I think is supposed to make us think he’s ready for Sunday.

Video on Wyatt vs. Cena, including clips of the Wrestlemania match and the segment on Monday.

A record is playing the children singing on Monday and Bray calls it beautiful music. Those children pulls Cena’s soul out of his body and handed it over to Bray. He believes that the children are the future and they trust him more than Cena. When Bray climbs out of the cage on Sunday, he’s taking the children with him. That’s going to leave him an old bitter man all alone. Follow the buzzards.

US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Ryback vs. Curtis Axel

One fall to a finish with Dean defending and Shield banned from ringside. The challengers all go after Dean to start but he jumps on Axel with no reservations. A 3-1 beatdown puts Dean on the mat with ease though and Curtis asks where Dean’s buddies are. Dean’s comeback is easily stopped and he’s thrown to the floor, allowing Axel to grab a rollup on Alberto for two. Ryback and Axel get in an argument and Dean comes back in to hammer on Axel. Ambrose is thrown back to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Ryback and Axel hammering on Alberto in the corner. Del Rio’s Backstabber gets two on Ryback but Axel makes a quick save. The fans are behind Ambrose as he saves a cover by Axel on Del Rio. Ryback and Dean go to the floor so Axel can dropkick Alberto down for two. A bad looking tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Curtis but Dean is back in to break it up and go after Ryback. Ambrose hammers on Del Rio and BLASTS Ryback in the face before low bridging him out to the floor.

The running dropkick puts Alberto down but Axel gets in a cheap shot to take the champion down. A Perfectplex is countered and Dean comes back with a hard clothesline for two of his own. Ambrose is sent to the floor and the Perfectplex gets two on Del Rio. Del Rio ties Axel up in the ropes for a top rope double stomp for a VERY close two and Ryback takes Curtis down with the Meat Hook by mistake. The armbreaker goes onto Ryback but he lifts Alberto into the air for the Shell Shock. Axel saves that pin but Dean slides in for a cradle on Curtis for the retaining pin at 10:04 shown of 13:34.

Rating: B. Take four guys and let them go for a lot of fast pins for a good while. This is one of the formulas that is hard to screw up and it worked well here too. Making it a fourway was a good call as it’s really hard to buy that Ambrose could win in a handicap match here. I can’t imagine he keeps the belt much longer though as he’s already got the WWE record with the thing.

It’s a triple team post match but Reigns and Rollins come in for the save and stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. There were some issues in there but this was a good Smackdown for the most part. We got focus on everything with Evolution vs. Shield getting the least focus, which is the right idea after it was the top story on Monday. Bryan vs. Kane is looking better and better every week and some of the false finishes could be very good. Solid show this week and Extreme Rules is looking solid.

Results
Wyatt Family b. Usos/Sheamus – Sister Abigail to Jimmy Uso
Rob Van Dam b. Jack Swagger – Five Star Frog Splash
Alexander Rusev b. R-Truth via DQ when Xavier Woods interfered
Dolph Ziggler b. Damien Sandow – Zig Zag
Big E. b. Titus O’Neal via DQ when Titus wouldn’t stop choking
Dean Ambrose b. Alberto Del Rio, Curtis Axel and Ryback – Cradle to Axel

 

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Title Change On Raw

And got the crowd to calm down a bit.The Usos FINALLY won the titles by clean pin over the Outlaws.  The place went nuts for it too as it should have happened years ago.




2013 Awards: Title Reign of the Year

I believe this has the most options.I’ll go through some nominees as usual.

Bully Ray.  Ray won the title in a moment that didn’t surprise many people, but his title reign went well for the most part.  The biggest thing lacking was major title defenses, though it’s not fair to blame that on Ray.  On top of that, it was pretty clear that he was losing the belt at BFG no matter what.

Dean Ambrose.  This started off promisingly but turned into the same midcard title reign you see every time.

Shield.  Now we get into some of the interesting stuff.  This is a good example of a title reign that started and ended well, with Shield looking dominant up until their reign, looking dominant in their reign, and losing the titles in an awesome match.  This is probably second on my list.

Rhodes Brothers. The problem here is similar to Ambrose: too many losses.  Despite an amazing title win and some great defenses, the Brothers keep losing matches that they shouldn’t be losing, presumably leading to a split and Goldust vs. Cody match at Wrestlemania because someone said that was a good idea years ago and that’s what we’re getting, great tag team or not.

I’m going to leave out Del Rio and Orton’s reigns as neither of them did anything for me at all.  Del Rio is just dull and Orton spent his time being handed the title back over and over.  Cena’s title reigns were really nothing all that special either.

 

Actually I’m going with AJ Lee.  This is a rare occurrence of someone cleaning out of a division and having no one left to challenge her.  She even has her moment with the Total Divas promo and has made me cheer for her every time she’s made one of those nitwits (or Natalya) tap out.  She’s closing in on the record for longest Divas Title reign and has looked dominant (and cute) while doing so.  It’s AJ by a few touchdowns.

 

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Smackdown – December 6, 2013: All Hail The New Buzzword

Smackdown
Date: December 6, 2013
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re closing in on TLC and a lot more of the card has been set in stone. The main stories coming out of Raw are the two handicap matches for TLC with Punk taking on the Shield and Bryan facing the Wyatts. Tonight it’s Punk against a member of Shield to be announced tonight. Other than that we’re likely to get talking from Orton and/or Cena. Let’s get to it.

Theme song.

Here’s Orton to open the show. He talks about becoming the champion of champions at TLC (still sounds better than Unified Champion) and shows us a clip from the end of Raw where Cena put him through a table. Even though Orton has about five injuries as a result, he’ll still prove his greatness at TLC. He may not be the most likeable of characters but he’s never liked any of us or John Cena. Orton does however revere Stephanie and HHH because they know what’s best for business. Maybe he’s taken some things they’ve done for him for granted so Orton would like to apologize.

Before he can get all the way through though, here’s Daniel Bryan to point his fingers in the air a lot. Bryan says Orton needs to apologize for being a champion. In all of their title matches, Orton never once legitimately beat him. Just because Bryan has been targeted by the Wyatts, he hasn’t forgotten about Orton or what Orton did to him. Daniel says that after TLC, he’s going to be first in line for a title shot at the new champion. Tonight though he’s looking at the face of the WWE and feels like putting a knee on that face. Orton says no but Bryan appeals to the crowd for a YES chant. Randy just stands there.

Big E. Langston vs. Fandango

Non-title and Sandow is on commentary. Langston’s music seems to have been remixed. The champion throws Fandango around with ease and drives his shoulder into Fandango’s ribs. Fandango is sent to the floor but Langston takes too much time going after him and gets clotheslined down. Back in and Fandango puts on a front facelock but shoves Fandango off like he’s a cruiserweight. Some clotheslines set up the Warrior splash but Fandango comes back with a kick to the head and a knee to the jaw for two. Langston shrugs it off and hits the Big Ending for the pin at 2:35.

Post match Sandow gets in the ring to point at Langston’s belt. Dang they’re warming up for the Wrestlemania Point early this year.

We get the opening of Smackdown from WWE 2K14 via Youtube. Riveting stuff of course.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Non-title. This is fallout from Main Event where Goldust had Ryback beaten but Curtis came in for the DQ. Cody starts with Ryback as JBL tries some portmanteaus of Ryback and Axel’s names. Goldust quickly comes in and gets caught in a gorilla press for two. Ryback hits a middle rope splash and Axel drops a middle rope elbow for two as the announcers talk about Superstar of the Year. The former Heyman Guys take turns on Goldust until it’s off to Axel for a chinlock.

Back up and Axel misses a dropkick and walks into a powerslam to give Goldie a breather. The not hot tag brings in Cody with a missile dropkick and the sunset flip out of the corner for two. Cody’s moonsault press gets two and everything breaks down. Goldust knocks Ryback to the floor and Cody lays him out with a Disaster Kick off the announcers’ table. Rhodes heads back inside and is immediately rolled up by Axel for the pin at 4:24.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere, but are we really jobbing one of the hottest acts in the company to Axel and Ryback? I was hoping this whole “champions lose to set up a title match” bit was taking a hiatus but apparently WWE was just luring me into a false sense of security.

Orton vs. Bryan is official for later.

Bad News Barrett tells us that we’re all sheep who will follow each other to the slaughter.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

Del Rio jumps Kingston on the floor before the bell and sends him into the barricade. Kofi gets put in the armbreaker for some screaming as referees try to pull Del Rio off. No match, but haven’t we seen Del Rio destroy Kofi after a loss before?

We recap Punk’s issues with Shield leading up to the handicap match at TLC.

Shield promises to hurt Punk tonight but they’re going to leave him healthy enough to make it to TLC. It’s going to be Ambrose facing Punk tonight.

Dean Ambrose vs. CM Punk

Non-title because the US Title is nothing but a trophy again. Rollins and Reigns stay in the crowd to keep it one on one. Punk has bad ribs coming into this. Cole: “Punk didn’t tape his ribs. Why put a target on his back?” Punk grabs a headlock to start but misses the high kick as Ambrose hangs onto the rope. Dean charges into a big boot of all things from Punk, setting up four straight legdrops for two for Punk.

Dean comes back with a knee to the ribs to take over and Cole completely ignores it to read more nominees. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Punk fights out and forearms Ambrose in the head. The GTS is countered with another shot to the ribs but Ambrose bails to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Dean stomping on the bad ribs like the smart heel that he is. Dean keeps taunting Punk as he peppers him with right hands before hooking a crossface chicken wing. Punk is down so Ambrose goes up, only to miss a top rope elbow drop. The springboard clothesline gets two for Punk and the running knee in the corner gets the same. Ambrose counters the swinging neckbreaker into a backslide which sets up a Fujiwara Armbar to stay on the arm.

Dean lets it go for some reason but counters another GTS attempt into a sleeper. Punk rolls through that into the Anaconda Vice but Dean quickly makes a rope. The Macho Elbow is broken up with a superplex for two and Dean goes back to the armbar. Punk gets into the ropes as well and finally scores with the high kick for two. The GTS, Bulldog Driver and another GTS are all countered and Punk is sent shoulder first into the post, giving Ambrose a rollup (with a handful of trunks) for two more. Not that it matters as another high kick sets up the GTS for the pin at 13:00.

Rating: B-. Good match, annoying booking. There are three Shield members to pick from. One is a champion, one is the golden boy and the other is Seth Rollins. Why in the would wasn’t this Rollins doing a job for Punk? The match would have been entertaining and you keep the title looking strong at the same time. It’s really not that complicated of an idea but WWE continues to mess it up. The match was what you would expect from Punk vs. Ambrose for 13 minutes, but why did Ambrose go after the arm so much when Punk had bad ribs coming in?

Renee Young (looking stunning in a red dress) is with Rey Mysterio in the back. She asks Rey which world title means more. Before Rey can answer, the Real Americans (now in matching jackets with Cesaro’s saying Toni and Swagger’s saying Big Hoss) come up and asks to see Rey’s papers.

Colter wants to know what’s up with Mysterio’s mask, if that’s even his real name. Rey says he was born and raised in San Diego, California but is Mexican in his heart. Colter thinks Rey’s title reigns should be stricken from the record books but Rey thinks the Real Americans should be stricken from the building. Zeb throws out a challenge for a tag match with Rey getting a partner. Rey says si.

Natalya vs. Tamina Snuka

AJ is on commentary and talks about how she was the most interesting Diva in the match just by skipping around in a circle. Tamina gets caught by a quick clothesline for two but she easily shoves Natalya to the floor. Nattie gets rammed ribs first into the apron a few times before Tamina takes it back inside to crank on Natalya’s arms.

Cole spends the match trying to make AJ into a heel by asking why she thinks she’s above the title which just isn’t working. Natalya gets two off a low dropkick but Tamina kicks out of the Sharpshooter. A Samoan drop puts Natalya down but she misses the Superfly Splash, giving Natalya the pin at 2:59.

Post match Natalya yells at AJ to no effect.

The Funkadactyls sell stuff and annoy me by existing.

Real Americans vs. Rey Mysterio/???

The mystery partner is Big Show, who apparently is just going to forget about the whole Authority ruining his life thing. Big Show chops Swagger in the corner and headbutts him down to start. Off to Rey for a top rope hurricanrana but Swager counters the sitout bulldog into a wheelbarrow slam in a nice move. Cesaro gets in a neck snap across the top rope as Cole brings up Cesaro making Titus sick last week.

Mysterio fights out of the corner but Jack sends him out to the floor. Back in and the Real Americans take turns pounding on Rey until the sitout bulldog takes Swagger down. Double tags bring in Cesaro and Big Show so the giant can clean house. A spear gets two on Cesaro as Swagger makes the save, only to have Rey hit a quick 619 to Jack. Big Show chokeslams Cesaro, setting up a Rey splash from Big Show’s shoulders for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: D+. Just a match here with a very short version of the tag team formula. Big Show being in the midcard again is a better fit for him, but I really hope this doesn’t lead to a big man/little man tag team. The Real Americans continue to go from hot to cold like no one else on the roster.

We get a video package of various champions over the years, talking about what being champion meant to them. It’s mainly a collection of promos from their careers with a few guys sitting down to talk about what the win means. Cool stuff.

HHH’s sitdown interview talks about how great the unification match will be and guarantees that the King of Kings will crown the Champion of Champions.

Bad News Barrett has some good news for us. There will be a Champion of Champions after TLC, but that man will have a target on his chest. He’ll be the hunted, making him the envy of the locker room, meaning he’s doomed.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

Non-title of course. They fight into the corner to start with neither being able to get an advantage. Orton takes over with some right hands but Bryan fights out of the corner with punches of his own. Daniel goes after the arm as the announcers discuss Bryan joining the Wyatts. Orton comes back with the backbreaker for two and a clothesline puts Bryan down. Bryan scores with a dropkick to send Orton to the floor but Orton moves before the FLYING GOAT can launch.

We take a break and come back with Orton getting two off something we didn’t see before putting on a chinlock. Bryan fights out and moonsaults over Randy to set up the running clothesline. A pair of running dropkicks in the corner set up some kicks to Orton’s chest and a top rope hurricanrana gets two for Bryan. Daniel sends him to the floor and now the FLYING GOAT connects.

Back in and the missile dropkick drops Randy again and there are the YES kicks. The big one misses as is the new custom and Orton gets two off a powerslam. Orton connects with the Elevated DDT but Bryan counters the RKO into a backslide for two. Now the big kick lays out Orton and the Swan Dive…..doesn’t launch because we’ve got Wyatts. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the pin at 8:44 shown of 12:14.

Rating: C+. Bryan continues his roll but it’s clear his time on top is over. The ending keeps the Bryan vs. Wyatts feud going but doesn’t do much for Daniel himself. It does however give Bryan some more momentum going into the PPV which is a good idea, but unfortunately it’s at Bryan’s expense.

Post match Bray pops up on screen and says tick tock over and over. He doesn’t mean to keep haunting Bryan, but how many times does Bryan have to cross a burning bridge to know he doesn’t have to fight this battle alone? Bryan knows what they are, but at TLC he’ll learn what he himself is. Bray laughs to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They’re doing a decent job of building up to TLC but not everything was clicking tonight. Bad News Barrett is going to bomb and it’s going to bomb badly. There’s just nothing there at the moment and the insults are as easy as you can think of. On the other hand, the handicap matches are going to be solid with Bryan vs. Wyatts getting more interesting every show. The world title match is looking more and more like a screwy finish every week, but at least we have a new buzz phrase with Champion of Champions.

Results

Big E. Langston b. Fandango – Big Ending

Curtis Axel/Ryback b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Rollup to Rhodes

CM Punk b. Dean Ambrose – GTS

Natalya b. Tamina Snuka – Pin after a missed Superfly Splash

Big Show/Rey Mysterio b. Real Americans – Splash to Swagger

Randy Orton b. Daniel Bryan – RKO

 

 

 

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Smackdown – September 27, 2013: I’ve Never Seen This Before

Smackdown
Date: September 27, 2013
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

The WWE is almost on the verge of a civil war between the HHH regime and a good chunk of the midcard. Daniel Bryan continues to be the one big hope for the good guys but tonight is about Dolph Ziggler as he challenges for Dean Ambrose’s US Title. Other than that we may see some new developments for Battleground which is now just over a week away. Let’s get to it.

Here’s HHH to open things up. He’s been checking social media and doesn’t like seeing terms like favoritism or abuse of power. Sometimes WWE Superstars would rather blame management for their own failures. HHH and Stephanie are fine with that burden because they simply can’t make everyone happy so they do what’s best for business. Then on Raw HHH puts Shield in an 11-3 handicap match, ending with Daniel Bryan pinning Seth Rollins for the final win. HHH continues to talk about how awesome the match was but here’s Miz to interrupt.

Miz doesn’t think there’s much to this idea of being fair but HHH cuts him off by reminding Miz of all the opportunities he’s been given. Miz is the classic example of what HHH was talking about: a superstar who failed but blames someone else. HHH put him in the ring with Randy Orton two weeks ago and here’s a clip of the beatdown Orton gave him in front of Miz’s family.

What HHH doesn’t get is why the beatdown that Randy Orton gave Miz should be on HHH’s head. It’s HHH’s job to protect Miz, even from himself. That’s why Miz only allowed Miz to host MizTV on Raw and he even threw Miz another opportunity by giving him Big Show as a guest. We get a clip of Stephanie telling Big Show to knock him out, which Miz says was ridiculous.

HHH asks Miz what he called Stephanie, with Miz repeating the castrated witch line, but he wishes he could replace the W with a B. Tempers were running high all around on Monday and HHH is sure Stephanie regrets what she said. However, let’s talk about tonight. Miz must be ready to go, so tonight it’s Miz vs. Randy Orton. Maybe HHH should even get in the jet and bring Miz’s parents here to watch another beatdown.

R-Truth vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title of course. Del Rio is very excited over what he did to RVD on Raw and he easily weathers an early Truth attack, only to miss a charge into the post. Truth’s suplex into a Stunner gets two but the ax kick misses, allowing Del Rio to hit the low superkick for the pin at 1:33.

Post match Del Rio goes after Truth even more until RVD makes the save and holds up the title.

In the back Vickie and HHH make the match with Del Rio vs. RVD a hardcore match. HHH’s name for the match: the Battleground Hardcore Rules match. Somehow, that might be more creative than the writing staff.

The Prime Time Players teach some stagehands the Millions of Dollars dance.

Prime Time Players vs. Real Americans

Swagger and Titus get things going with O’Neil kicking both Americans down like they’re not even there. Swagger comes back by taking out the leg before the Americans start some rapid tags. Jack drives Titus into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs before it’s back to Cesaro to stomp him down. Here’s the giant swing on O’Neil for a ridiculous 27 seconds. It’s one thing on a small guy like Santino but to do 22 revolutions on a guy 6’4 and over 260lbs is INSANE. Again, why in the world is Cesaro in this tag team and not fighting for world titles?

Cesaro is too dizzy to stop a tag though and Young starts cleaning house. Cesaro comes right back with a spinning Rock Bottom for two as everything breaks down. Darren gets a rollup for two on Antonio but Swagger gets in a blind tag. Young hits the Gut Check on Cesaro but Swagger comes back in with the Patriot Lock for the submission from Young at 3:45.

Rating: C. Any match with nearly 30 seconds of Titus O’Neil being swung around in a circle makes me it at least passable. The Players are a fine midcard team and Cesaro is awesome but Swagger is just there. He’s such damaged goods at this point that he’s dragging down anyone he works with. Heaven forbid we change anything about him though right? That would just be lunacy.

Bray Wyatt vs. Zack Ryder

Harper and Rowan throw Ryder into the ring but don’t do anything to him other than that. Zack fires off some right hands so Bray just runs him over and drives in shots to Ryder’s back. We actually get a chinlock from Wyatt but Ryder fights up and hits his usual stuff. The Rough Ryder is countered with Ryder being LAUNCHED into the air, followed by Sister Abigail’s Kiss getting the pin at 2:21.

US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler

Kofi and RVD flank Ziggler for protection. Just get to the DQ and six man tag already. Dean takes over with a headbutt and rakes Ziggy’s eyes over the top rope. An elbow drop gets a quick one for the champion but Dolph comes back with punches in the corner and a dropkick. A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor, triggering a brawl for the DQ at 2:01.

HHH makes the six man.

Shield vs. Dolph Ziggler/Kofi Kingston/Rob Van Dam

The bell rings and we take a break literally a second later. Back with Van Dam firing off kicks to Rollins before driving shoulders in the corner. Rolling Thunder gets two but Rollins gets in a shot to Rob’s bad arm to take over. Off to Dean to crank on the arm but Rob comes back with a spin kick to the face to bring in Ziggler. Dolph snaps off a dropkick and drops five elbows instead of ten. Ambrose pops up and counters the jumping DDT into a snap spinebuster to give Shield control again.

Off to Reigns for a hard clothesline for two before bringing Dean back in to work on the ribs. Reigns comes back in and slams Dolph face first into the mat in a move so simple that it’s awesome. Something like a gutwrench slam has Ziggler in even more trouble but he comes back with a dropkick to put both guys down. Rollins breaks up another hot tag attempt but gets backdropped down, allowing for the real hot tag to Kofi.

Kingston speeds things up and hits the Boom Drop on Ambrose followed by the spinning cross body for two. Ziggler hits the Fameasser on Rollins but gets speared down by Reigns. Rob kicks Reigns down and clotheslines him to the floor for a moonsault from the apron. Kofi hits a springboard clothesline on Ambrose and Trouble in Paradise to Reigns, only to have Rollins hit the running knee to the head to give Dean the pin at 8:13 shown of 11:43.

Rating: B-. Good match for the most part with a very hot finish. Shield certainly still has it for the six man stuff as they went nuts out there with the fast spots for the ending. It’s always more fun when you don’t know who is going to win a match and Shield is great at those false finishes with the last second saves.

Big Show says he can’t sleep at night and is a pariah in his own locker room. He starts crying again when HHH comes in and says maybe Show should just walk away. They really need to read up on what IRON CLAD means. HHH offers to help him find a job as a doorman or baggage handler since Big Show’s size makes him “special.” Big Show holds his fist up at HHH but doesn’t do anything past that.

Cameron vs. AJ Lee

Non-title. Tamina comes out with AJ due to every other Diva being against her (according to AJ in an inset promo). AJ takes Cameron into the corner before hooking a cravate about 30 seconds into the match. Cameron comes back with a quick rollup and a flying leg attack which was supposed to be a cross body for two. AJ sends her to the floor and shouts that Cameron is useless. Tamina takes out an interfering Naomi and the Shining Wizard knocks out Cameron for the pin at 2:41. Still no idea who I’m supposed to cheer for here but Cameron is worthless.

Here’s Heyman to show us a clip of him pinning Punk at the PPV. The fans have disappointed him because they’re surprised he pinned Punk. Heyman trade secret: Punk will lose every time the fans’ blood lust drives him to come after Paul. We look at the Heyman guys destroying Punk on Monday. Heyman thanks everyone for their help on Monday and that includes the fans for driving Punk to do it. Punk is crazy enough to want a match with Ryback at Battleground which will end up with Punk on his back and looking up at the best in the world.

Santino Marella vs. Heath Slater

Santino has Hornswoggle and Great Khali with him. Slater drops Santino with a single right hand to start and we hit the chinlock thirty seconds into the match. Santino comes back with his punches and hiptoss, only to have Slater knee him in the ribs to stop the comeback. As much of a comeback as you can have in the first minute of a match that is.

Slater gets crotched on the top and Santino loads up the Cobra….but Mahal plays a flute to hypnotize the sock. Khali plays a flute of his own to counter but McIntyre takes him down. The Cobra is about to attack Santino when Horny makes the save. Khali plays some more flute, allowing Santino to hit Slater with the Cobra for the pin at 2:58. I’ve watched wrestling for over 25 years and I can honestly say I’ve never seen anything like this.

Los Matadores arrive on Raw.

We recap the Rhodes Family troubles. Cody and Goldust (and presumably Dusty) accept an invitation to Raw on Monday.

The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Miz charges at Orton to start and fires off left hands in the corner. A clothesline sends Orton to the floor and he goes into the post for good measure. Back in and Miz pounds away even more before kicking Orton in the face. The running corner clothesline only hits buckle though and Orton has a breather. Miz might have injured his shoulder and has to be looked at but says he can keep going. Orton immediately grabs the Elevated DDT and won’t let the doctor check on Miz again, drawing a DQ at 3:05. I’m not going to bother rating it due to a good chunk being spent on the medical check but this was more of an angle than a match.

Cue HHH to say that Orton isn’t getting out of it that easily so we’re restarting this as a No DQ match. Orton throws Miz over the announce table and then into the steps as he’s in psycho mode. Miz gets in a chair shot to the ribs but Orton gets in a shot of his own to take over again. Another Elevated DDT on the floor knocks Miz out cold but it’s the RKO for the pin at about 6:20 total.

Rating: C. Again this was more of an angle than a match. They’re doing a much better job at getting Orton over as a heel here though and that’s the important thing. Orton being all smug and holding the title isn’t going to get people to hate him but being a psycho that destroys people when they can’t defend themselves certainly will. Miz is a good choice for a sacrificial lamb.

Overall Rating: C. This was a story building show and there’s nothing wrong with that. The show flew by and never dragged, but there’s nothing on here you need to see. The good for business thing was a bit better tonight with HHH screwing over faces instead of heels like he did on Monday. Not a bad show but it was a supplement to Raw which is a bad choice for Smackdown.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. R-Truth – Superkick

Real American b. Prime Time Players – Patriot Lock to Young

Bray Wyatt b. Zack Ryder – Sister Abigail’s Kiss

Dolph Ziggler b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Shield interfered

Shield b. Rob Van Dam/Dolph Ziggler/Kofi Kingston – Ambrose pinned Kingston after a running knee to the head

AJ Lee b. Cameron – Shining Wizard

Santino Marella b. Heath Slater – Cobra

Randy Orton b. Miz – RKO

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Night of Champions 2013: Well That Was Surprising

Night of Champions 2013
Date: September 15, 2013
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is the first PPV after the big summer angle with the rise of the new Corporation. Our main event tonight is Randy Orton defending his title against Daniel Bryan in Bryan’s first one on one shot against the new champion. The other main event is CM Punk vs. Paul Heyman/Curtis Axel in an elimination tag for Punk’s chance to get his hands on Heyman. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Turmoil

This is a tag team gauntlet match with the winning team earning a tag title shot at Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns later in the show. There are five teams in total with two teams starting. The winners of the first match move on to face the next team, last team standing wins. It’s 3MB vs. Tons of Funk (minus the Funkadactyls) to get us going.

Brodus starts with Heath (teaming with McIntyre here) and quickly crushes Slater in the corner. Off to Tensai who follows Slater to the floor. Drew busts out a flip dive over the top of all things to take over for a bit. Back in and Tensai gets two off a sunset flip but Drew pounds away in the corner, only to get rolled up for the pin by Tensai at 2:40.

The Real Americans are in next but 3MB sticks around to beat on Tensai. Cesaro shouts WE THE PEOPLE and it’s time for a commercial on the pre-show. Back with Cesaro still shouting WE THE PEOPLE before Tensai counters a suplex to take him down. Hot tag brings in Brodus to clean house with his headbutt to the chest and a splash in the corner but Swagger breaks up the cover off the middle rope splash. Swagger makes a blind tag and puts a covering Brodus into the Patriot Lock for the submission at 5:16 total.

It’s the Usos in fourth, meaning the Prime Time Players are last. They charge in to the ring with Jey hitting a big flip dive over the top to take out Swagger and a slingshot moonsault connects on Cesaro. Swagger comes in legally with a belly to belly suplex on Jey before we hit the armbar. Back to Cesaro for some choking and we take ANOTHER break. Do we really need commercials during a big commercial?

After seeing the same explanation of how to order the show that we got in the first commercial break, we’re back with Cesaro being knocked off the apron but Swagger avoids the Superfly Splash and the Patriot Lock submits Jey at 10:00. It’s the Prime Time Players in last with Titus cleaning house on Swagger. A fall away slam puts Jack down but he takes Titus’ leg out, only to have Darren Young break up another Patriot Lock. The hot tag brings in Young but he gets caught in the Patriot Lock as well. Young rolls through and the Gut Check gives the Players the title shot at 11:55 total. Cesaro was gone for the last fall.

Rating: D+. These matches are fun in theory but I’ve never cared for them for the most part. At the end of the day, it doesn’t work to see these falls go down in just a few minutes. There’s no time to get any story going and one of the last two teams in line always wins the thing. Nothing special here and I think everyone knew the Players were winning here.

The opening video is about what defines a champion with clips of men like Sammartino, Hogan, Michaels and Austin. It transitions into the usual PPV opening video focusing on the main events.

Here’s HHH to open the show. He thanks us for joining him in what’s best for business and says he’s listening to the audience. There won’t be any interference in the main event from anyone, including Shield, Big Show or anyone else. HHH asks us if we’re ready for Night of Champions which brings out Heyman (in a suit) and Curtis Axel.

Heyman says he’s tried everything to get a message to HHH but this is the best he can do. HHH asks Heyman when he last slept or showered and Paul snaps that he’s stressed out. Heyman complains about the position he’s been put in as we’re ten minutes into the show and this is what we’re getting. He explains the entire story of Punk vs. Heyman/Lesnar as well as the match we’ve got tonight in case you bought all the PPVs available tonight and aren’t sure what you want to watch.

Apparently the handicap match is No DQ which must have been announced on the pre-show. HHH says Heyman shouldn’t be worried if he trusts Curtis Axel as much as he claims to. The match stays on so now Axel gets to beg for his boss’ life. He brings up beating HHH in a match as the fans chant BORING. HHH says this is Night of Champions so HHH is going to go to the back and the first person he finds gets an IC Title shot.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Kofi Kingston

Well this is a letdown. Kofi takes him down by the wrist and sends Axel to the floor. Back in and Curtis avoids the double leapfrog and bails to the floor again because the seventeen minutes of stalling to open the show weren’t enough. Kofi kicks him on the way back in and Axel is on the floor for the third time in three minutes. Back in again and a dropkick gets two on the champion so Axel goes outside AGAIN. Kingston gets tired of waiting and goes outside but gets sent into the steps. Kofi stops himself and jumps to the apron and then the top for a spinning cross body to the floor.

Back inside again and Axel gets in a cheap shot to take over. Kofi is tied up in the Tree of Woe for a spear to the ribs and the snap Saito Suplex is good for two. We hit the neck crank followed by a clothesline for two for the champion. A quick slam gets two on Kofi as this boring match continues. Back to the chinlock for a bit before Kofi tries to spin around a clothesline but can’t quite pull it off as crisply as he wanted to. A DDT gets two on Axel and Kofi’s spinning cross body off the top gets the same.

There’s the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise misses. Axel drives Kofi into the corner but walks into a pendulum kick. Kofi goes up, only to dive into a dropkick to the chest for two. Kingston escapes another Saito Suplex and a side roll gets two. The SOS is countered and Trouble in Paradise is ducked but Kofi counters Curtis’ neckbreaker into the SOS for…..something as the camera is on Heyman at what could have been the three count. It’s only two so Kofi goes to the corner, only to wind up on Axel’s shoulders and dropped on the top rope. The neckbreaker into the cutter are good enough to retain Curtis’ title at 14:05.

Rating: C. When civilization has come to an end and the human race is gone, Kofi Kingston will still be in the Intercontinental Title hunt. The match wasn’t terrible and it got WAY better at the end, but the first five minutes of this match were way too boring. Also what’s the idea of having Axel in a nearly fifteen minute match before he was a big underdog in the match later? Methinks something is up.

Chris Jericho is named the best IC Champion ever with 63% of the vote over Mr. Perfect, Pat Patterson, Rick Rude and Honky Tonk Man. Those are your only options.

Ricardo teaches Van Dam how to say his finishing moves in Spanish. Also Del Rio has no testicular fortitude and the universal term for World Heavyweight Champion is RVD.

AJ’s new friends (Aksana/Alicia/Layla) want nothing to do with her for the title match. AJ says they’re nothing without her, which makes me think they’re actually pushing the Total Divas as the good ones in this.

Trish Stratus dominates Michelle McCool, Wendi Richter, Lita and Fabulous Moolah to be named best Divas/Women’s Champion ever.

We get the entire promo that set up AJ vs. the Total Divas and the Total Divas beating AJ up.

Divas Title: Natalya vs. Brie Bella vs. AJ Lee vs. Naomi

Big face reaction for AJ despite the lack of clarity in whom we’re supposed to cheer for. AJ gets chased to the floor and sent into the barricade before. The challengers all kick AJ to the floor before the Total Divas break down. The crowd goes SILENT when AJ isn’t in there. Brie cleans house but walks into a dropkick from Naomi. Those two take each other out an AJ grabs a rollup on Natalya for two. The Rear View gets two on Natalya and Brie loads up a superplex on Naomi.

Natalya makes the save but has to duck a high cross body from Naomi. AJ sends Naomi to the floor but Naomi pops back up onto the apron to totally miss a high kick to Brie. Natalya baseball slides AJ to the floor and suplexes Brie down for no cover. Brie breaks up a Sharpshooter on Naomi so Natalya slams her down onto Naomi. Why the referee doesn’t count Naomi while Brie is on top of her isn’t clear. Natalya puts both of them in a Sharpshooter which I believe she did to Laycool before but AJ makes the save. There’s the Black Widow on Natalya for the submission to retain AJ’s title at 5:45.

Rating: D. This is in no way related to AJ because she did everything she could out there. These other girls SUCK and no one cares about them. There’s nothing else to it than that. They’re getting this push because they’re horrible to each other on a reality show and that’s supposed to make them interesting wrestlers. Yeah Natalya can go in the ring and Naomi is athletic, but that doesn’t mean anyone cares about them. I’m being very generous with the rating actually. It was that bad.

We go to the All-Star panel of Alex Riley, Booker T and Santino Marella.

World Heavyweight Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending, Rob is the hometown boy (close enough) and Ricardo is here after being banned from ringside on Smackdown. Del Rio quickly takes him down but Rob comes right back with a kick to the face. A loud spinwheel kick in the corner has the champion staggered and a monkey flip gets two. Del Rio hits a dropkick of all things but misses a charge and falls to the floor. A slingshot moonsault puts Alberto down and Rob drapes him across the barricade for the spin kick to the back.

Del Rio blocks a suplex back in and brings Rob to the apron before knocking him out to the floor. The champion’s suicide dive takes Van Dam down and Del Rio sends him into the barricade. We hit the chinlock before Rob rolls him up for two. A snap suplex puts Rob right back down and Del Rio does the finger point. Del Rio kicks him in the back of the head for two and it’s back to the chinlock. An enziguri sends Del Rio to the floor but Alberto misses a dive and crashes on the outside.

Back in and a kick to the face gets two for Rob and the middle rope thrust kick gets the same. A top rope kick to the face sets up Rolling Thunder but Alberto rolls away and hits the Backstabber for two. Rob breaks up the reverse superplex and the cannonball off the top gets two. They slug it out with Del Rio getting two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Rob kicks his way out of the armbreaker and gets two off a rollup.

The split legged moonsault gets the same but Alberto comes back with a Codebreaker on the arm. Del Rio’s low superkick gets two but Rob kicks him off the ropes. The Five Star hits knees and there’s the armbreaker but Rob gets to a rope….and Del Rio holds on through the five count for the DQ at 14:28.

Rating: C+. The match was fine but the ending crippled anything it could have been. Alberto just isn’t interesting as a champion whatsoever but he’s been in every PPV Smackdown Title match this year. I don’t know who we’re waiting on to take the title from him but this wasn’t the right ending for this match.

Post match Rob hits a Van Terminator to wake the crowd up.

Axel is confident while Heyman panics even more. We’ve covered this for weeks now.

Booker T beats out Flair, Edge, Batista and Undertaker as greatest World Champion ever. WHAT?

Orton wants to know what HHH is thinking. HHH says he’s just making sure he picked the right face of the WWE.

The Miz vs. Fandango

Here’s the filler match we all knew was coming. Fandango dances around to start and drives some elbows into Miz’s neck. Miz comes back but can’t hit the Reality Check or put on the Figure Four, allowing Fandango to send him to the apron. Back in and Miz hits the corner clothesline but a Summer Rae distraction lets Fandango take over again. We hit a chinlock with a bodyscissors as a Summer Rae chant starts up.

The announcers are talking about baseball as Miz sends Fandango to the floor, only to jump into a kick to the ribs. Now it’s a Randy Savage chant as the fans just do not care about this match. Miz fights up and goes after the leg before hitting the short DDT for two. Now the fans want tables. Fandango suplexes him down for two and ties Miz up in the ropes for a guillotine legdrop for two. The real guillotine legdrop misses and Miz gets two as the crowd groans. Thankfully the Figure Four ends Fandango at 8:00.

Rating: D. This show is sinking like a stone. The fans didn’t care about this at all and there’s no reason for them to. It’s a feud about Miz interrupting Fandango’s dancing and that’s about it. Why would I want to see that on a show I’m paying to see? Also it’s a bad idea after such a dull show so far.

WWE loves the National Guard.

We recap Punk vs. Heyman/Axel. Punk asked Heyman to stop coming to the ring with him so Heyman screwed him over at MITB. Punk swore revenge so Heyman brought Lesnar back to beat Punk up with Brock getting the pin at Summerslam. Now it’s Heyman/Axel vs. Punk in an elimination match so Punk can get his hands on Heyman.

Paul Heyman/Curtis Axel vs. CM Punk

No DQ and it’s under elimination rules. Heyman of course hides on the floor as the other guys swing kendo sticks at each other. Axel gets in a shot but Punk comes back with a series of his own to take over. Curtis gets knocked down and Punk dives through the ropes to get at Heyman. Paul is taken into the ring and put in a chinlock before Punk picks up the stick. CM takes too long though and a low blow drops Punk. Curtis pounds away and gets in some stick shots to the back.

The beating continues as Heyman does Brock’s bounce on the floor. The fans still want tables but they get chops and forearms from Punk instead. Axel hits a clothesline to the back of the head for two and it’s table time, making Curtis the most over guy in the arena for a split second. The table is set up in the corner but Punk blocks a suplex through the table, only to have Axel do the same. Axel takes Punk down again and we hit another chinlock.

Punk fights up and sends Curtis into a chair in the corner, knocking Axel to the floor. Back in and Punk hits his swinging neckbreaker and the knee into the corner. Axel rolls away before the Macho Elbow and gets in a chair shot for two. The lone boring chant is blocked out by a Punk chant as Axel gets two off a neckbreaker of his own. Heyman shouts that Axel is better than Punk as Curtis strolls around the ring. More kendo stick shots to Punk’s back get two but Punk counters the neckbreaker into the cutter into the GTS. The Anaconda Vice gets the tap out at 10:40 to get us down to Punk vs. Heyman.

Punk wisely keeps the hold on to knock Axel out even more before going after Heyman. Heyman slowly walks around the ring before running up the ramp, only to go into the crowd and back to ringside. Punk catches him in the ring and pulls on Heyman’s ears and nose. Punk gets the stick but Heyman hugs him. The smile on Punk’s face is rather creepy as he canes Heyman down. Heyman: “OH THAT HURTS!” Punk pounds away before calling for the GTS. He’s not ready yet though as he pulls out the handcuffs from his boot, just like Heyman used on him for the big beating a few weeks ago.

Heyman tries to tap out but the fans think this is awesome. Heyman begs for mercy, making it even better. Punk hits him very slowly with the stick and says to remember that it was him doing this to Paul. Heyman tries to tap with his foot so Punk promises to break Paul’s face. Cue Ryback to drive Punk through the table, slicing Punk’s back open in a scary looking visual. Heyman is placed on top for the pin at 1 5:56.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: Punk getting some revenge, only to have Heyman debut his new guy to give Punk a real challenge next month at Battleground. At the end of the day, Axel just isn’t competition for CM Punk and everyone knew it. Ryback isn’t a huge star, but he’s a much bigger deal than Axel and gives Punk a much better challenge. Good choice here and the perfect booking.

Punk refuses medical attention for his back.

More expert panel stuff.

US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

Ziggy beat Ambrose via DQ on Friday to get this shot. Feeling out process with Ziggler trying to speed things up, only to have Dean grab the rope. Ziggler gets two off a dropkick and there are the ten elbow drops. They tumble out to the floor and Dean takes over before heading back inside for a knee in the back and some face rubbing into the mat. We hit a reverse chinlock followed by a regular chinlock until Ziggler fights up and gets two off a sunset flip.

They trade rollups for two each and Ziggy goes to the middle rope, only to be knocked down so Dean can slowly rake his back. A superplex gets two for the champion so Dean flips over the top and goes up but Ziggler catches him in a top rope X Factor for two. Ambrose’s full nelson is countered into a rollup for two and Dean goes to the corner.

A Stinger Splash and ten punches set up a clothesline for two on Ambrose and it’s off to the sleeper. Dean easily suplexes his way to freedom and a near fall but gets caught in the Fameasser for a close two. Dean’s bulldog driver is countered into a rollup for two but the second attempt is good for the pin to retain the title at 9:54.

Rating: C+. I liked this one more than I thought I would. This is the kind of match the show needed: a fast paced, back and forth match with both guys looking good. A clean win over a former world champion is nothing but good for Dean and the match was a nice pickup as well. Good stuff here.

Sting is named best US Champion ever over Bobo Brazil, Harley Race, Sgt. Slaughter and Ricky Steamboat.

Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Shield

It’s Rollins/Reigns defending as the Players won tag team turmoil on the pre-show. Rollins and Titus start in a nice power vs. speed matchup. Seth can’t throw Titus around and has his cross body caught, only for O’Neil to throw him down like it’s nothing. Off to Young with a headlock on the mat followed by some shoulder blocks and a clothesline for two. Roman gets the tag and blocks an O’Connor Roll before being sent to the outside.

A big elbow gets two for Young and it’s back to Titus to pound on Rollins some more. All Players so far as Titus blows the whistle, allowing Rollins to bail to the floor. Darren follows Seth to the floor, allowing Shield to take over as they come back inside. It’s Reigns working over Darren before throwing him back to the outside.

Back in and Seth hooks a chinlock on Young before slapping him around a bit. Young comes back with a quick belly to belly but Reigns blocks the hot tag. Darren sends him into the corner and backdrops Seth down, allowing for the hot tag to Titus. O’Neil starts cleaning house and hits the release fall away slam on Rollins. Clash of the Titus gets two as Reigns makes the trademark Shield save. Young and Roman go to the floor but Reigns jumps back in for the spear on Titus, giving Seth the retaining pin at 7:30.

Rating: C. This was fine all things considered. The Players weren’t going to get the belts and everyone knew it, but it’s nice to see a fresh team in the title scene. It’s not like those two getting a title shot is a stretch or anything so I can’t imagine a ton of complaints about Young being pushed. Nothing special here but it was fine.

We look at Heyman vs. Punk some more.

DX is named the greatest tag team of all time over the Wild Samoans, the Bulldogs, the LOD and the Harts. That’s so laughable I’m not even going to bother making fun of it.

We recap the main event. Bryan won the title from John Cena at Summerslam before being screwed over by HHH and Randy Orton, bringing in the new Corporation with Orton being named best for business. Bryan was then beaten down for weeks on end as he waited for his one on one rematch with Orton here tonight. No one has been allowed to help Bryan for fear of losing their jobs. Cody Rhodes questioned things and lost his job in a match against Orton.

Hulk Hogan dominates Cena, Punk, HHH and Austin as Best WWE Champion ever. All of the polls were landslides.

WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

HHH has guaranteed no interference but there are no special rules. BIG pop for Bryan as expected. Feeling out process to start with Bryan taking the arm for early control. Orton takes him down with a shoulder but Bryan fires off a knee to the ribs to take over. Bryan unleashes the kicks but Orton comes right back with a clothesline. Randy takes too much time posing and Bryan comes back with right hands, only to be clotheslined down again for two.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Orton fights up and pounds away at Orton’s head with some good aggression. Randy comes back with a knee to the ribs and the slow circle stomp They’re doing the slow build here for the big finishing sequence. Orton rains down right hands in the corner with the fans chanting NO on each one in a nice touch. Bryan fights back with the running clothesline and the kicks in the corner as Orton is suddenly reeling. The headbutt connects to send Orton to the floor for the FLYING GOAT.

Back in and the missile dropkick sends Orton to the floor again, setting up a second FLYING GOAT! Back in again but Orton bails to the other side of the ring but Bryan’s third FLYING GOAT meets a forearm. Orton hits the Elevated DDT on the floor but Bryan slides back in at nine for a nice false finish. Orton does the finger point and loads up the RKO, only to have Bryan escape but knock the referee to the floor.

Bryan can’t get the YES Lock but there’s a second referee in now. Orton’s powerslam gets two but the Elevated DDT is countered into the YES Lock in the middle of the ring. Bryan is CRANKING on it too with the arm looking like a pretzel. Orton very slowly crawls over and finally makes the rope in another nice false finish. There are more kicks in the corner but the running dropkick misses. The first referee is still on the floor which makes me very nervous of a double fall.

Orton puts Bryan on the corner but Bryan slips through the legs and crotches the champion. Orton is put down into the Tree of Woe for more kicks to the ribs and now the running dropkick connects. Bryan loads up a belly to back superplex but Orton knocks him down, only to have Daniel pop up with a forearm to a seated champion. Now Bryan’s superplex connects but Bryan hangs on by the legs.

A LONG flying headbutt hits Orton but Randy is out at two. The original referee is back in now which isn’t something you see that often. Bryan unleashes more kicks but Orton catchs the big one into the high collar suplex to put both guys down. Orton can’t get a backslide so Bryan hits the big kick to the head and the running knee gets the pin and the title 17:49.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going but once they got on a roll they didn’t stop. That running knee has become a devastating finisher and it worked very well here again. I’m sure there will be more shenanigans in the future but the match tonight was very good. Solid stuff here and I can’t say I’m upset that Bryan won. Good stuff here, as you would expect.

Bryan celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The last couple of matches saved this from being one of the least interesting shows I’ve ever seen. It’s still not a good show but it set up Battleground well enough. That’s the problem with having three PPVs in seven weeks: there’s not enough time to build anything up. Nothing really happened tonight and it felt like a big episode of Raw. I’ve seen worse but this was a huge drop after Summerslam.

Results

Prime Time Players won Tag Team Turmoil last eliminating the Real Americans

Curtis Axel b. Kofi Kingston – Neckbreaker into a faceplant

AJ Lee b. Natalya, Naomi and Brie Bella – Black Widow to Natalya

Rob Van Dam b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Del Rio wouldn’t break the cross armbreaker

Paul Heyman/Curtis Axel b. CM Punk – Heyman pinned Punk after a spear through a table by Ryback

Dean Ambrose b. Dolph Ziggler – Bulldog driver

Shield b. Prime Time Players – Spear to O’Neil

Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton – Running knee to the head

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 9, 2013: BRYAN DID IT!

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 9, 2013
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re in Bizarro Land tonight with three stories for the show. First of all, Edge is back for one show only to promote the season premiere of his TV show Haven and likely cutting a big promo on what’s going on in WWE at the moment. Other than that we have Goldust returning to fight for his brother’s job against Randy Orton in a match that will be more interesting for the story than the wrestling. On top of that it’s the go home show for Night of Champions so we’ll get the final push. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Edge to open things up to a big reaction. He still has the short hair which is still strange to see from him. Chimmel even throws in an over the voice crack for old times’ sake. It’s the Cutting Edge which is back due to a request from HHH. The boss wanted to have Edge back to talk with his old partner. Not Christian, but Randy Orton. Edge however doesn’t see anything interesting in Randy Orton because Edge made cashing in MITB cool.

Orton is just a puppet who has Shield do his fighting for him. Therefore, Orton won’t be the guest tonight. The guest will be someone good for business (Edge: “Say YES if you agree with me”): Daniel Bryan. As Bryan comes out, we see a clip from the end of last week’s show with Big Show knocking Bryan out cold.

Bryan says having this many people chanting your name helps because he’s taken a lot of TripleBombs, a lot of RKOs and a lot of Knock Out punches. No matter how many times HHH holds him down though, he’ll be WWE Champion. Edge says Bryan deserves a fair shot at Orton and asks Bryan if he thinks he can beat Randy. Can he shove it in HHH’s face and become WWE Champion? Can Bryan become the face of the WWE? Bryan is about to say yes but here’s Orton for an interruption.

Orton calls it a shame that Edge can only get a reaction in a place like Canada. Edge thinks Orton acts like an entirely different body part than a face. The Ortons have a history of long running medical problems. Bob had a bad arm forever and Orton has no spine. HHH has made Orton his puppet. As great a mind as HHH has for the business, he’s flat out bad at picking talent. This brings out HHH but Edge cuts him off, reminding HHH that he (Edge) can’t get in trouble because he doesn’t work here. HHH has said that Edge, Chris Jericho and John Cena had no future so why should we believe what HHH says about Bryan?

HHH plugs Haven on Friday and admits that he was wrong about Jericho and Cena, but he was right about Edge being a failure. The bottom line is that the experiment of the Rated R Superstar was a failure because he never drew a dime. At the end of the day, the best way to shut up HHH is to prove him wrong. Bryan is going to get that chance by facing Dean Ambrose here tonight.

Since Dean will have Shield in his corner, Bryan can have Big Show in his corner. HHH says he isn’t a dictator, but Edge cuts him off by saying he earned his Hall of Fame ring instead of marrying into it. The boss says it’s easy to talk when you know no one can come down there and hurt you, but maybe he can hurt the ones Edge loves. Here’s Shield dragging out an unconscious Christian as we go to a break.

Back from a break with Edge storming in on HHH and Stephanie but Shield jumps between them. Edge wants to be cleared for one night only so he can take HHH apart. HHH wants to know who Edge thinks he is by storming into his city (HHH’s) of Toronto like this. He tells Edge to get out of this town and off of his show, threatening him with Shield.

Kofi Kingston vs. Curtis Axel

Non-title here. Axel hammers away on Kofi and hits a quick dropkick for two. Kofi flips out of a belly to back suplex and hits a spinning chop to take Axel down. The SOS gets a quick two but Curtis grabs the rope to escape. Axel heads to the floor but comes back in to pound on Kofi in the corner, eventually drawing a DQ at 2:14.

Heyman yells at Axel that this can’t happen on Sunday. Axel goes over to Kofi but gets his head kicked off.

Video on Goldust to hype up his match with Orton.

Medics look at Heyman’s leg in the back due to him slipping on some water earlier. I smell goldbricking.

We look at the end of last week’s show with Bryan vs. Big Show and Bryan being laid out. Again.

Booker T comes up to Big Show in the back and talks about everything that big Show wants to do to everyone tonight. Show needs to remember his daughter and his family when he’s out there tonight. He can’t let his pride make him make a mistake. Show says pride is all he has left.

Wyatt Family promo.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Bray Wyatt

That’s quite the upgrade for Bray. Wyatt pounds Ziggler down to start and shouts GAME OVER. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick but Bray runs through him as we take a quick break. Back with Ziggy fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught with an elbow to the jaw. Off to a reverse chinlock but Ziggler fights out and pounds away with everything he can throw. The dropkick and Fameasser gets two but Ziggler has to avoid the Family, allowing Bray to crush him in the corner. Sister Abigail gets the pin at 6:40. Not enough shown to rate but this was pretty much a Wyatt squash.

Video of Goldust’s comedy bits over the years, mainly with Booker T.

Heyman comes out on crutches, flanked by Curtis Axel and a guy who could be Damien Sandow’s twin but is actually a doctor. Heyman doesn’t care for the Canadian healthcare system, which is why he’s brought along his personal physician from New York City. Apparently Heyman has torn his meniscus or ACL from slipping on the water. Therefore, he’s out of the match with Punk on Sunday.

This brings out Maddox with the famed Dr. Samson for an official WWE medical examination. Heyman is told to sit in a chair for the knee examination and we have to see his bare leg. Fans: “This is awkward!” Samson checks all of the ligaments and Heyman says everything is very sore. The diagnosis is that Heyman is fine so Heyman freaks. This brings out Punk with the kendo stick and Heyman sprints off, meaning the jig is up. Punk beats up Heyman’s doctor for fun.

Brie Bella/Natalya/Naomi vs. Layla/Alicia Fox/Aksana

AJ is on commentary as Trinity starts with Aksana. The Rear View gets a quick two as AJ talks about the Divas Title being reality. Trinity goes up top but Aksana shakes the ropes to bring her down and take over. Layla chokes Trinity on the ropes and gets two off a dropkick. AJ: “I’m too old for you Jerry. I’m 26.” Trinity finally gets in a shot to bring in Natalya vs. Alicia. Nattie cleans house as Cole talks about AJ having a 25% chance of keeping her title. AJ: “Well I had a million to one shot at making it in WWE and I main evented Raw.” Point to AJ. Natalya hooks the Sharpshooter on Alicia for the win at 2:53.

Video on Goldust’s in ring accomplishments.

Alberto Del Rio vs. R-Truth

Del Rio easily takes Truth down to start but gets sent to the floor for a dive by the non-champion. The fans chant for the announcers as Del Rio catches Truth with the running enziguri to knock him off the apron. Back in and we hit the chinlock followed by a clothesline for two on Truth. R comes back with a leg lariat and the sitout front suplex for two of his own. Now the chant is for Undertaker as Del Rio hits a tilt-a-whirl slam. The low superkick and the armbreaker are good for the win for the champion at 3:50.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here to set up Del Rio for the title defense on Sunday but it was better than expected. It can’t be a good sign when Del Rio beating a jobber to the stars is a big win for him though. A champion of any kind shouldn’t need a win like this going into a PPV. It’s not a good sign for the booking leading into the title defense.

There’s a five team Tag Team Turmoil match with the Real Americans, the Usos, 3MB, Prime Time Players and Tons of Funk for the #1 contendership this Sunday.

Zeb Colter thinks Canada is a bad neighbor but they can all be saved if they start caring about more than hockey.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Cesaro takes him down with a dropkick as soon as the bell rings. A clothesline puts Santino down but he comes back with his strikes as Cole talks about Marella’s Battle Arts Academy. Cesaro will have none of this though and hooks a giant swing with a TON of revolutions. As in this goes on for like 30 seconds. It’s STILL going!

Cesaro throws him down after almost a minute straight of spinning but Santino comes right back. The saluting headbutt sets up the Cobra but Cesaro uppercuts him down for two. A running European uppercut in the corner gets two and Cesaro starts slapping him. Santino comes back with a throw and gets the pin at 3:45.

Rating: F. Not for the wrestling but for the stupid booking. We announce Cesaro for a big PPV match and have him do the awesome giant swing, but the comedy goof is back so we have to give him a win for no apparent reason. Either A, wait until after the PPV match or B, USE SOMEONE ELSE. Put a 3MB guy in there (only two will be in the PPV match) or Wade Barrett or someone else not doing something. Why waste a cool moment like the giant swing for the sake of giving a comedy guy a win? Because there’s no long term thinking in the midcard and hasn’t been for years.

Damien Sandow vs. The Miz

Miz takes over with a quick suplex but Sandow takes him into the corner with some shoulders to the ribs. Miz comes back with the top rope ax handle for two. Sandow avoids a low kick to the face and hits a quick Russian legsweep. The Wind-Up elbow gets two on Miz but he comes back with a kick to the leg. Cue Fandango for a distraction, allowing Sandow to roll Miz up for the pin at 3:49. I believe that’s Sandow’s first one on one win since June.

Rating: D. This was nothing at all as neither guy has anything going for them at all. I have no idea what it is that the fans love about the “distraction leads to a rollup” finish but it’s been beaten so far into the ground that it’s hit water. Miz vs. Fandango doesn’t do anything for anyone but at least it gives them something to do.

Goldust talks about Cody living right and how he wants to make up for his past failures by saving Cody’s job tonight. HHH interrupts and says he hopes Goldie doesn’t let them down.

Randy Orton vs. Goldust

If Goldust wins, his real life brother Cody Rhodes gets his job back. Kayfabe takes another bullet as Cole talks about Dustin Rhodes coming here and being given the Goldust character instead of just being a creepy guy who does this on his own idea. JBL drops the Crockett name to confuse most people under the age of 30. Goldust gets in some quick offense and knocks Orton the floor for a breather.

Back in and Orton pounds away but misses a dropkick, giving Goldust two. Orton fires off right hands but Goldust counters the powerslam into a rollup for two. Randy rolls to the floor to avoid Shattered Dreams and we take a break. Back with Goldust sending Randy into the steps but being sent into the post to give the champion momentum all over again. Orton gets two back inside and hits the circle stomp followed by a chinlock.

Goldust fights up and hits a bulldog out of nowhere to put both guys down. The sliding uppercut staggers Orton and Goldie rains down right hands in the corner. Goldust is looking really winded as he gets two off a rollup. Orton comes back with the Elevated DDT but the RKO is countered into Cross Rhodes for two. Not that it matters as the RKO is good for the pin at 14:54.

Rating: C-. Is this supposed to be surprising on any level? On the best day of his career, Goldust was an upper midcarder at best and he’s fighting the reigning WWE Champion. Goldust has never been close to Orton’s level but we’re supposed to believe he can come out of retirement and beat him here? He looked really winded near the end too which didn’t help things.

Post match Orton says he’ll shatter Bryan’s dreams at Night of Champions.

Stephanie “consoles” Goldust by reminding him of all the people he let down and calling him a loser. Oh and tell Dusty that she says hi.

Rob Van Dam vs. Ryback

Del Rio comes out and says that the people will be chanting ADR on Sunday. Ryback shoves Van Dam down to start but gets caught by a kick to the face. An elbow to the jaw puts Rob down and Ryback pounds away before hooking an abdominal stretch. Van Dam escapes and hits the step over kick followed by Rolling Thunder for one. The top rope front flip gets two on Ryback and the top rope kick puts him down again. Ryback bails to the floor to avoid the Five Star but Rob’s dive to the floor only hits barricade. Rob is crotched against the post (barely) for the DQ at 2:58.

Ryback Shell Shocks Van Dam post match.

Stephanie tells Big Show not to touch Shield during the match tonight or he’s fired. Big Show destroys a TV.

Dean Ambrose vs. Daniel Bryan

Big Show and Shield are at ringside. Bryan fires off kicks in the corner to start but Dean comes back with some chops. Daniel gets in some more kicks and Ambrose bails to the floor for a conference. Back in and Daniel kicks away even more before starting on Dean’s arm. The seated surfboard doesn’t last long as Ambrose makes the rope to escape. Bryan flips over Ambrose in the corner and hits the running clothesline followed by a single arm butterfly suplex. Bryan goes up for the headbutt, only to be distracted by Rollins and knocked into the apron as we take a break.

Back with Dean sending Bryan into the buckle but Bryan avoids a charge into the corner. There are the running dropkicks and the kicks in the corner followed by a top rope hurricanrana for two. Dean avoids the big swinging kick to the head but and grabs a rollup for two. Bryan slaps on the YES Lock but Ambrose gets to the rope. Bryan misses another dropkick in the corner and gets rolled up (with trunks) for two.

Dean loads up a superplex but gets crotched down into the Tree of Woe for more kicks. A belly to back superplex gets two on Ambrose as Big Show plays cheerleader. Bryan fires off more kicks to Ambrose but misses a charge and falls to the floor. Reigns’ spear hits the steps and Rollins’ dive hits the announce table. Dean DDTs Bryan on the floor and sends him back inside for two, only to get caught in a small package for the pin by Bryan at 14:08.

Rating: B. Good match here as you would expect from these two. Ambrose is MONEY in the ring and can have a good match against almost anyone. Bryan continues to be on fire with the crowd but the title isn’t changing on Sunday. I’m worried that the reactions are going to die down eventually but they’re still solid enough for now.

Post match Bryan avoids a charge from Ambrose and sends him into the tag champions. Cue Orton but Bryan hits the FLYING GOAT to take him down. Shield is back up though and beats Bryan down but Big Show gets up with a chair. Of course he drops it though as Orton throws Bryan back into the ring for the RKO. Big Show slowly walks up the ramp but HHH and Stephanie come out and order him to knock Bryan out.

Big Show doesn’t want to do it but Orton tells him to follow orders. Orton holds up Bryan for the punch but Big Show won’t do it. Orton throws Bryan down and takes too long yelling at Big Show, allowing Orton to hit the running knee to end the show. This would be the 1st consecutive show to end with Daniel Bryan standing up since he won the WWE Championship.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this one tonight. It felt like there was an energy tonight that we haven’t had in a few weeks. Things are looking good for Night of Champions, but it feels like it’s going to be a filler show before we get to the next big show. Edge helped a bit but the Goldust match didn’t do much for me. The main event was solid though as Shield continues to have good matches every week. This wasn’t a great show but it did a good job at setting up the PPV, which is the right idea here.

Results

Kofi Kingston b. Curtis Axel via DQ when Axel wouldn’t stop attacking Kingston in the ropes

Bray Wyatt b. Dolph Ziggler – Sister Abigail

Natalya/Brie Bella/Naomi b. Layla/Alicia Fox/Aksana – Sharpshooter to Natalya

Alberto Del Rio b. R-Truth – Cross Armbreaker

Santino Marella b. Antonio Cesaro – Throw

Damien Sandow b. Miz – Rollup

Randy Orton b. Goldust – RKO

Rob Van Dam b. Ryback via DQ when Ryback sent Van Dam into the post

Daniel Bryan b. Dean Ambrose – Small Package

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Smackdown – April 26, 2013: More Stacked Than A Fat Guy’s Buffet Plate

Smackdown
Date: April 26, 2013
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re still in London and still in the 02 Arena for the blue WWE show. The main event tonight is a rare singles match on free TV for the Undertaker as he faces Dean Ambrose of the Shield. Other than that we’ve got Swagger vs. Del Rio in a No DQ match which should be good if it’s anything like last week’s match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the six man tag from Raw where Shield beat Undertaker and HELL NO. We also hear a bit about the No DQ match tonight.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

No DQ as mentioned twice already. Del Rio starts fast and clotheslines Swagger out to the floor. A suicide dive takes Swagger down and Del Rio’s seems to be fine. Alberto pulls out a kendo stick but gets whacked in the now injured knee with it. Del Rio blocks a shot to the chest but gets sent to the floor, down onto the knee. They slug it out in the aisle and Del Rio suplexes him onto the ramp.

Del Rio pulls out a ladder and launches a charging Swagger face first into it as we take a break. Back with Swagger holding a front facelock on Del Rio after gaining control with kendo stick shots during the break. A belly to belly suplex gets two for Jack and he gets a chair from ringside. Since he’s a heel though, Swagger talks a lot of trash and gets caught by an enziguri on the apron. Del Rio pounds away but Jack takes out the knee to slow him down again.

Swagger wedges a chair between the top and middle rope, only to walk into the Codebreaker to the arm. Some clotheslines to Swagger set up the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, followed by some kendo stick shots to the back. For someone who uses an arm submission, Del Rio certainly works on the back a lot. A Backstabber gets two on Swagger but the armbreaker is countered. Del Rio settles for a low superkick for two but Swagger grabs the ankle lock from the mat. Del Rio rolls through into the armbreaker but Jack escapes and sends Alberto face first into the chair for two.

Jack knocks the chair to the floor and opts for the ladder instead, only to have Del Rio see-saw it into Jack’s chin. Colter tries a cheap shot and the distraction is enough to let Swagger get a running ladder shot to Del Rio’s face. The Vader Bomb hits knees and Del Rio puts on the armbreaker again. Colter slides in the kendo stick though and Swagger pounds away to break the hold. Jack beats on Alberto with the stick to escape, drops the ladder on his body and gets the pin off the gutwrench powerbomb at 11:00 shown of 13:30.

Rating: B-. Good match here but not as good as last week. It seems that the more time these two get the better matches they can have. This was designed to even things up going into the triple threat, but as usual it just makes both guys look the same while crippling the momentum that either guy has. But hey, wins and losses mean nothing in WWE right?

Layla vs. Aksana

Layla is her usual bubbly self again, so I guess the heel tease from a few weeks ago is added to the list of dropped angles. Aksana is sent to the apron where she poses, only to charge back in for some near falls. Layla gets caught by a running knee to the head for two before she starts working on Layla’s hand. Aksana bends Layla’s arm around the ropes and easily stops some martial arts from Layla. The British chick gets a running start and hooks a side roll after a bunch of flips for the pin on Aksana at 3:04.

Rating: D+. Dang it why did it have to break three minutes? This was just a way to have the home country girl get a win and look good in British flag shorts. As usual, the Divas continue to be nothing of note and a mere time filler on most of the shows. Aksana wasn’t as terrible as she usually is here though.

Apparently the spinning side roll is called Infinity. They’re naming glorified rollups now?

Video on the Divas show coming to E!

Video on Shield being awesome.

We get most of the six man tag match from Raw, as in over ten minutes of it.

Shield says justice prevailed on Monday when they broke the unbreakable. It’s an injustice that HELL NO still has the tag belts but they won’t be doing so for long. Ambrose wants to finish the job tonight against Undertaker. After tonight, Shield is going to be immortal instead of Undertaker.

Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel

Gabriel dances a bit to start and Fandango lunges at him. An armdrag and legsweep put Fandango down and the fans are singing the Fandango theme song. The fans keep getting louder as Fandango ties Gabriel up in the ropes for some forearms to the back of the head. Justin fires off some kicks including a nice spinning one to take Fandango down. He goes up top and dives into a knee to the ribs though, allowing Fandango to hit the spinning downward spiral and guillotine legdrop for the pin at 3:03.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and this is the kind of win that Fandango should have gotten last week. Gabriel is a good choice for a jobber as he’s not going anywhere but is still good enough in the ring to believe there’s a chance of a big upset. They seem stalled with Fandango though as there’s nowhere to go with him from here. Hopefully he doesn’t fall into the midcard abyss though as that would be horrible for him.

Big Show vs. Sheamus

Before the match we recap Sheamus’ issues with Mark Henry. Show shoves him down to start but Sheamus pounds away in the corner. Big Show will have none of that and fires off chops to Sheamus’ chest while the Irishman is tied up in the ropes. They head to the floor with Show in control, but as they come back in Sheamus hits a shoulder to the ribs, followed by the forearms to the chest.

Back in and Sheamus charges into a side slam followed by a big elbow drop for two. Final Cut gets the same and Sheamus is having trouble breathing. Sheamus fires off some right hands but Show falls on him during a slam attempt for two. Big Show keeps him on the mat as the pace slows down a lot. A hard slap to Sheamus’ chest sounds like it’s ripping skin off as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus being sent shoulder first into the post and out tot he floor. Show sends him into the steps as this is still one sided for the most part. Sheamus makes it back in at 8 so Show sends him into the buckle. Off to a top wristlock but Sheamus fights up and hits a DDT to get himself a breather. They slug it out from their knees with Sheamus taking over and hitting some shoulder blocks.

The top rope shoulder puts Show down but Sheamus can’t hit White Noise. Scratch that actually as he escapes the chokeslam and connects with White Noise before loading up the Brogue Kick. Show bails to the floor so Sheamus dives off the steps to take him out. Back in again and Sheamus loads up the top rope shoulder, but here’s Henry to distract him, allowing Big Show to knock Sheamus out with the WMD for the pin at 10:52 shown of 13:52.

Rating: B-. As usual these two have good chemistry together and they had the slow build going here. I’ve always liked seeing these two have their battles of the titans with both guys hitting each other with harder and harder shots until one of them can’t get up. They did that here and it worked quite well, as always.

William Regal vs. Wade Barrett

Non-title here. Before the match, Barrett says there must be something to the idea of grave robberies in London since it’s standing right there in the ring. Barrett pounds away to start but gets sent into the corner where Regal pounds away as well. The knee trembler misses though and it’s the Bull Hammer from Barrett for the pin at 56 seconds.

We get the HHH/Heyman segment from Raw.

Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry

The World’s Strongest Slam is attempted less than twenty seconds into the match but Orton slips over the back and pounds away with right hands. We head to the floor with Henry getting in some hard shots, only to head back inside and get stomped down. Henry runs Orton over again and beats him down in the corner but Randy comes back with clotheslines of his own. Orton covers but Henry kicks him out hard enough to have Randy land on his feet. The Elevated DDT puts Henry down but he rolls to the floor to avoid an RKO. Mark gets back in and walks into a Brogue Kick from an interfering Sheamus for the DQ at 4:19.

Rating: C-. No time to go anywhere here but the match wasn’t bad or anything. This is where the WWE style of booking gets annoying as you knew the ending to this as soon as Sheamus vs. Big Show ended. Sheamus vs. Henry should be good and hopefully the match doesn’t have some stupid gimmick that limits what they can do in the ring against each other.

Orton gives Henry an RKO post match and doesn’t seem mad at Sheamus at all.

We look at the end of Raw with Foley, Ryback and Cena.

Undertaker vs. Dean Ambrose

This is quite the rub for Ambrose. Apparently HELL NO isn’t here tonight so Undertaker is on his own. Ambrose takes it to the corner to start which is about the dumbest thing you can do against undertaker. As expected, Taker launches Dean into the corner and pounds away before hitting the apron legdrop. Back in and Taker misses a big boot in the corner, crotching himself in the process.

Ambrose sends him to the floor and goes off on the big man before sending him into the apron. Back in and Dean pounds away even more with that cocky/psycho look on his face. After a quick two count, Dean pounds on Taker’s jaw and yells about justice. He shouts a bit too much though and gets grabbed around the throat. Taker tries to run the ropes but gets caught with a running knee to the ribs. That gets him nowhere though as Taker snaps off a chokeslam but he has to fight off Shield. Ambrose grabs a DDT for a VERY close two but walks into the Hell’s Gate for the tap out at 4:40.

Rating: C+. You want to talk about a rub, look at what you just saw here. The Shield debuted just six months ago and now one of them is fighting the Undertaker in the main event of Smackdown. Ambrose had Taker in trouble too and never once looked like he was in over his head. This is one of the best initial pushes I’ve ever seen and is showing no signs of slowing down at all.

Post match the Shield attacks but Taker actually fights them off since Ambrose is down. He loads up a chokeslam on Rollins on the floor but Reigns hits the big spear through the barricade. Ambrose hits him with a chair and shouts that Taker didn’t beat him. Shield TripleBombs Taker through the table, presumably writing him off TV for the a long time.

Overall Rating: B. This was a STACKED show with a Wrestlemania rematch, two matches which could headline the Smackdown half of a PPV, and a big rub to Shield. The matches were almost all decent to good and nothing on here was really bad. This is what Smackdown is known for and it worked quite well here. Very entertaining and big time show.

Results

Jack Swagger b. Alberto Del Rio – Gutwrench powerbomb

Layla b. Aksana – Infinity

Fandango b. Justin Gabriel – Guillotine legdrop

Big Show b. Sheamus – WMD

Wade Barrett b. William Regal – Bull Hammer

Mark Henry b. Randy Orton via DQ when Sheamus interfered

Undertaker b. Dean Ambrose – Hell’s Gate

 

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Wrestlemania 29 Preview: Shield vs. Randy Orton/Big Show/Sheamus

If there’s a potential show stealer out there, this is it.Shield has been as dominant as any new group of people I’ve seen in years.  They came in and have instantly been treated like a killing machine.  Look at the names they’ve taken out: Ryback, Rock, Cena, Bryan, Kane, and now they have a shot at Orton, Sheamus and Big Show.  The questions to this match are will Shield stay undefeated and who, if anyone, is going to turn on their partners.  At the end of the day, it’s really hard to buy Orton, Big Show and Sheamus as working together well enough to do something Cena couldn’t accomplish.  The KO punch is certainly a wildcard though as it’s knocked out Reigns and Rollins before.

The thing about Shield though is they can only do these six man matches against dream teams for so long.  They’ve done two already before this show and you can only buy them as unbeatable for so long.  Either that or we’re going to run out of combinations to fight them in big matches.  My guess is either way, soon after this we get an amicable separation by Shield to go after some singles gold, perhaps feuding with Cena in singles PPV matches over the summer.  It’s clear Reigns is going to be a big deal and the other two are going to be well pushed also, but the question is when and against whom.

As for the match, I’ll take Shield to win with Orton turning on his partners.  Over the last few weeks he’s been playing the peacemaker between the big guys, which makes him the least likely suspect, which makes him the most potential heel out of the bunch.  Like it or not, that’s WWE logic for you and odds are it’s how things are going to go.  Big Show regularly changes from face to heel every three months or so and Sheamus is still very over as a good guy, so that really just leaves Orton.  I’m not sure if it happens during or after the match, but I definitely think it happens and Shield gets the win before breaking up on good terms.