Souled Out 2000
Date: January 16, 2000
Location: Firstar Center, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 14,132
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

And then everything changed. The big matches for this show were scheduled to be Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett in a 2/3 falls match for the US Title and Bret Hart defending his WCW World Title against Goldberg. Then Goldberg, Hart and Jarrett all got hurt so we’re going to get Sid Vicious vs. Benoit for the World Title, which is being announced the night of the show. Other than that, Russo is GONE (pause for the parade) due to his solutions to the gaping holes caused by these injuries, which I’ll get to later. Let’s get to it.

The announcers immediately talk about the changes to the World Title match and show us clips of the injuries occurring, including the Goldberg superkick to Hart and Benoit’s Swan Dive off the top of the cage this past week on Nitro to knock Jarrett out. It’s interesting that the headbutt hit the arm but still rattled Jeff that much.

We look at the Revolution attacking Konnan during the pre-game show, which somehow leads to the new Triple Threat Theater. Instead of Jarrett vs. Benoit in a 2/3 falls match, Kidman of all people will be running a Revolution gauntlet in the three gimmick matches, including against Revolution’s mystery partner.

We run down the card to fill in even more time. Apparently Page vs. Bagwell is last man standing.

Also earlier tonight, David Flair and Crowbar have attacked Vampiro, meaning it’s no longer Flair vs. Vampiro but instead it’s a three way dance with Crowbar added.

After six and a half minutes of recaps and explaining the card, we’re ready to go.

Kidman vs. Dean Malenko

This is Catch As Catch Can, which was originally the Dungeon Match and means you win by pin, submission or your opponent leaving the ring. You know, because Kidman vs. Malenko needs a wacky stipulation. Dean takes him into the corner to start but Kidman drives him in just as quickly.

That goes nowhere as Malenko takes him down into a headscissors, only to bail into the corner when Kidman comes up swinging. A jackknife cover gets two for Dean but Kidman rolls away and fires off right hands, sending Dean rolling to the floor…..to give Kidman the win. Either Dean screwed up on a pretty unique rule or he wanted out as fast as he could. That’s it for Dean in WCW.

Clip of Vampiro powerbombing Crowbar for a pin on Thunder. The post match stuff that set up the match tonight isn’t included but why bother with something like that?

We recap Daffney being all psycho and hooking up with David Flair, who then joined forces with Crowbar. This somehow tied into David’s godfather Arn Anderson, who helped them win the Tag Team Titles. Vampiro and the Misfits hit on Daffney so she kneed them in the groin, setting up tonight’s match. In theory this was going to be Vampiro and someone against the champs, but it was changed to a three way on the pre-show for no logical reason.

Vampiro is about to address what’s going on but Masahiro Chono of all people interrupts and yells in Japanese.

David, Crowbar and Daffney promise to break Vampiro’s bones and rip off his flesh.

Vampiro vs. David Flair vs. Crowbar

It’s a big brawl to start but Vampiro faceplants both of them to take over early on. There’s no reason for Flair and Crowbar to fight each other aside from general insanity so this should be a tag match like it was supposed to be. Vampiro’s suplex is countered into a northern lights suplex for two but a spinning kick puts Crowbar down as well. There’s a suicide dive for Crowbar as Daffney bounces up and down on the bottom rope.

David’s chops have no effect as the announcers talk about Ric Flair being on some house shows but not appearing on TV. Vampiro chops David a few times and throws him onto Crowbar. The Rock Bottom on the floor is broken up by Crowbar’s flip dive for a huge crash. A big splash from the apron crushes Vampiro again as the Tag Team Champions are only kind of working together.

Back in and Crowbar plants him with a German suplex, continuing to make me wonder why he’s stuck in this story. Vampiro one ups him with a release superplex, prompting about forty seconds of replays of the match’s big spots. David remembers he’s in the match and gets two off a vertical suplex as this becomes the handicap match it was supposed to be. That goes nowhere as Vampiro superkicks both of them down and plants Crowbar with a Rock Bottom for two.

More double teaming gives the champs control and a top rope splash gets two for Crowbar. David slaps on a figure four that makes Dusty Rhodes look like Ric himself but Crowbar goes for a cover, starting a brawl between the champs. Back up again and Vampiro cleans house, sidesteps a charging David to send him into Daffney and the Nail in the Coffin gives Vampiro the pin.

Rating: D+. Total mess here but it was fun at times. Like I said though, the booking was all over the place and it was just a spotfest, but the bigger problem is the Tag Team Champions just lost a glorified handicap match in ten minutes. Why this wasn’t a tag match isn’t clear, especially when you have all those people on the roster not doing a thing. David continues to be completely worthless.

Buff Bagwell arrives.

The Mamalukes are ready for the Harris Brothers in a bonus match.

Harris Brothers vs. Mamalukes

Ron shoves Johnny the Bull into the corner to start but eats a spinning kick to the face which sounded like it made some solid contact. Back in and Ron runs over Vito (in his sleeveless, shiny neon green shirt) but Johnny comes in with some right hands to the ribs to take over. Vito drops an elbow low, only to have Ron take Johnny out to the floor and whip him into the barricade.

A big side slam plants Johnny back inside and it’s off to Don for a lame chinlock. The Twins maintain control and hit Johnny low as I’m trying to figure out who to cheer for in this match. Vito gets goaded into the ring so Ron can choke in the corner before throwing the Bull to the floor. This match just keeps going and the fans chant DOA. Vito breaks up a cover off a DDT and crotches Don, only to have Disco shoves him off by mistake, helping Vito with a top rope clothesline to Ron for the pin.

Rating: D-. This is one of those matches that just kept going for no reason other than they needed to fill in some more time. On top of that it’s a bonus match so there isn’t even a story going on until the ending where Disco didn’t mean to help the Mafia guys win. Really dull stuff here but either team would be an upgrade for the Tag Team Titles.

Madusa rants to Spice about Oklahoma.

Cruiserweight Title: Madusa vs. Oklahoma

Madusa is defending but Oklahoma has the Cruiserweight Title belt because this story is stupid. Oklahoma vows to prove that men are the dominant sex and runs down all the horrible housewives here in Cincinnati. “Madusa, get those silicone balls out here so I can bounce them back to the kitchen.” Madusa comes out in a bikini with a loincloth as she fires off kicks to start.

Some hair drags put Madusa down but Oklahoma (wearing a singlet with his name on it in the WWF Attitude logo style) avoids a charge, only to have Madusa fall onto his crotch. A pair of middle rope missile dropkicks drop Oklahoma but he comes right back with a DDT because he’s somehow better than the best American female wrestler of this era. Spice takes the barbecue sauce away from Oklahoma and here’s Asya to help out.

Not that it matters as Oklahoma pulls the loincloth down and rolls Madusa up for the pin and the Cruiserweight (Ferrara weighed about 300lbs) Title. Too short to rate, but the man that said he was better than all women just pinned the female champion despite her having two people to help her. Somehow, this is supposed to be entertaining rather than, you know, horrible and disgusting.

The girls pour the sauce down his singlet post match. That’s an appropriate response after being cheated out of a title by a chauvinist announcer whose entire character was originally built around mocking an announcer. All hail the Powers That Be!

Hardcore Champion Brian Knobbs credits Fit Finlay for giving him back the Eye of the Tiger. He’ll beat up Meng and Smiley tonight and then take out Finlay to become the new master.

Hardcore Title: Brian Knobbs vs. Fit Finlay vs. Meng vs. Norman Smiley

Knobbs is defending. This is called Four The Hard Way and I’m sure it’s going to be the hard way as opposed to something easy like gum surgery. Norman comes out in riot gear. Brian takes over with a bunch of trashcan lid shots before double teaming Meng with Finlay’s help. Meng shrugs it off and knocks Norman down (Heenan: “RUN!”) before everyone goes to the floor. Norman does a kind of leg sweep to put Brian down but Finlay blasts him in the head with a trashcan.

A headbutt with the riot helmet puts Norman down again and it’s table time. Knobbs and Finlay hit Meng with the trashcan and it’s time to split up because this match needs to be doubled. Thankfully it doesn’t last long as Norman and Finlay come back to ringside with Smiley being dropped face first onto a chair. Meng’s cover on Brian is broken up and Norman is left alone with the champ. Instead of covering though he stops to dance, allowing Knobbs to hit him with the riot shield to retain. Tenay says Knobbs is a force to be reckoned with a mere four days after winning the title.

Rating: D-. You can see the problem with this division in this match alone: they’re not doing anything. This is just the weapons title with people who have nothing else to do filling in the spots. At least with the WWF version, the hardcore guys were entertaining and had enough charisma to carry the division. This is everyone but Norman treating it seriously and making it a very dull sit every time they’re out there.

Meng cleans house post match.

Kidman vs. Perry Saturn

Bunkhouse Brawl, which means hardcore (that sounds familiar), even though I don’t think either of these two have ever been in a bunkhouse in their entire lives because most people aren’t cowboys. Saturn headbutts him down to start and plants Kidman with a gorilla press for two. He crotches Kidman on top and hits a springboard clothesline (kind of at least) to drive Kidman to the floor for a big crash right on his side.

Thankfully with Kidman’s hip still in one piece, Saturn knocks his head off with a clothesline and gets two off a legdrop. Saturn rips the shirt apart and starts cranking on the arm. A beal with the torn shirt sends Kidman down again before Saturn remember this is a hardcore match and pulls out a table. Kidman finally scores with a dive as Tony and Heenan plan starting a table business. There’s a comedy gimmick in there somewhere.

Back in and Saturn takes over again with a top rope elbow getting two. Saturn busts out a layout powerbomb (yes he can!) for two but misses a moonsault. The BK Bomb gets two but Saturn launches him over the top and out through the table for two on the floor. They head up top with Saturn loading up a superbomb, only to get backdropped down. It’s time to go back to the drawing board with another powerbomb but Kidman faceplants him down (maybe he can’t) for the pin. That’s it for Saturn in WCW.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified Saturn squash until the ending came out of nowhere. Kidman took a good beating and it came off like the Jeff Hardy formula, which isn’t the worst idea, but Saturn destroying him for ten minutes with the hardcore rules barely meaning anything.

And now, Stevie Ray goes back to the hood. Heenan’s words. Stevie talks to some old friends and says this is where he and Booker come from. He says a pile of cardboard boxes is home to someone and this is where they’re from. Some people Stevie knows asks where Booker has been but Stevie says they just forgot about this place. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but this was actually really well done.

Stevie says it’s done tonight.

Booker T. vs. Stevie Ray

Before the match Booker, wearing a red vest with sleeves so skinny they look like suspenders, says he’s going to give Stevie the whipping he deserves for saying Booker has forgotten where he came from. Stevie tries to get in a cheap shot but Booker ducks underneath and nails a spinning kick to the face. A big clothesline drops Booker and the match slows way down.

They head outside with Stevie slowly walking around the ring until Booker fires off some right hands. Back in and Stevie gets in a thumb to the eyes and hooks on a chinlock. A backdrop puts Booker down and we cut to the crowd for no apparent reason. Booker escapes the Slapjack and scores with the Book End, but Ahmed Johnson runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Booker is good, but carrying Stevie Ray is almost impossible. There’s only so much you can do when you’re in a story this lame and we passed that point as soon as the bell rang. Really dull match but I was a huge fan of Ahmed Johnson so somehow I can live with this.

Stevie names him Big T. Unfortunately, I remember where this is leading and it’s going to get even worse.

Sid is ready to fight his friend for the World Title.

Tank Abbott vs. Jerry Flynn

Here’s Tenay’s recap: “This past Monday, they were put inside the same jail cell and even that couldn’t keep them apart.” Abbott punches, Flynn kicks, they trade some lame submission holds and Tank punches him out for the pin in less than 100 seconds.

We recap Page vs. Bagwell, which is over accusations that Bagwell slept with Page’s wife Kimberly and Buff implying that Kimberly has been with the entire locker room. In other words, it’s over whether or not Kimberly is a sl**.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Buff Bagwell

Last man standing. Buff punches him out to the floor and they’re quickly in the crowd with Buff punching him over what appear to be hockey boards. Back to ringside with Bagwell still in control but Page comes back with a neckbreaker. The Diamond Cutter is broken up and Bagwell goes outside for a dive from Page. They both go down off a single right hand and fight near the WCW.com station.

Both guys throw a monitor and Tony thinks it’s hilarious. A keyboard shot to the head puts Bagwell down but Buff comes back with an elbow off the set through the table. It’s Page’s turn to no sell and they head back to the ring as there hasn’t been a count yet. Page, bleeding from the side, crotches Bagwell against the post. Even more no selling ensues as Bagwell shrugs off a Diamond Cutter and hits a Vader Bomb for eight.

Buff DDT’s Page for seven and it’s Blockbuster time. The fans react, so is Buff supposed to be the good guy here? Page eats Blockbuster but gets up at nine. Bagwell pulls a police baton out to beat on Page for nine, only to walk into a Diamond Cutter. It’s actually Bagwell up first with Page not being able to answer the count. So yeah, Page lost by hitting his finisher. That’s certainly different.

Rating: D+. That ending is really confusing stuff as you would think Buff could have just hit the Blockbuster for the win. They were trying to play up the idea that Buff blocked the move but he went down like anyone else would have. Really weird ending to a boring but not horrible match.

Kimberly comes out and watches as Page beats Buff down.

Kidman vs. ???

This is in Caged Heat, which means Hell in a Cell. Shane Douglas comes out to introduce the mystery opponent: the Wall. Yeah it’s Kidman vs. the Wall in an unannounced match inside Hell in a Cell. They fight over a chair on the floor to start with Wall getting the better of it. Kidman is tossed into the cage a few times as the crowd is just gone. They head inside with Wall getting two off a clothesline. A sunset bomb out of the corner gets the same for Kidman and he counters a suplex into a DDT for the same. Kidman goes up top and dives right into a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: F. This is another instance where I can sum up the problem in one sentence: a Hell in a Cell match that lasted five minutes That’s ignoring the fact that these two have no personal issues and Wall is just there because Shane is still injured and you can’t put Asya out there.

Kevin Nash vs. Terry Funk

Hardcore. Again. If Nash wins he’s the Commissioner but if Funk wins, the NWO is gone. Nash jumps him in the aisle and throws in some big right hands, followed by a chair to the back. There’s the Jackknife through the table but Nash goes inside to talk trash instead of covering. He tells Funk that he can keep his job as Commissioner if he can get back in, but as soon as Terry gets back in, Nash says he’s a liar.

Another clothesline puts Funk on the floor and he crashes on his head to make it look even more effective. Terry nails him with a chair a few times to limited avail so Nash chairs him down again. A DDT plants Nash and Funk slowly slugs away before setting up some more chairs. That earns Funk a low blow and a powerbomb through the opened chairs to give Nash the power.

Rating: D. So Nash is the Commissioner after spending weeks beating up the lame duck Commissioner. I’m so glad we got to sit through this, though at least Nash is somewhat relevant to the product and has been around longer than a few weeks. I can also see why Flair wasn’t interested in coming back for something like that.

Nash officially takes over at midnight.

Arn Anderson, guest referee for the main event, basically says none of this matters as it’s all about getting Nash out of power. He stumbles over his lines here which is something you never see from him.

WCW World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Sid Vicious

Feeling out process to start with Sid shoving Benoit into the corner but being nice enough to help him up. Some of the roster comes out to watch at the arena entrance. Sid shoves Benoit to the floor by the throat and it’s time to regroup. Back in and Benoit gets smart by going after the knee by dropkicking the leg our bringing Sid down.

With almost the entire locker room watching (and looking like they’re at a funeral), Benoit takes it to the floor and crushing the leg between the post and the steps. A Figure Four has Sid in even more trouble but he turns it over, sending Benoit to the ropes for a break. Sid is wrestling as the face here but Benoit is only the heel by default.

Benoit snap suplexes him for one and then puts on the bridging Indian Deathlock to make Sid scream. The hold has to be broken because of the pressure it puts on Benoit’s neck so Sid can try a quick comeback, only to eat another dropkick to the knee. The rolling Germans are countered with a powerslam for two and the fans actually show some signs of life.

A long leg lock has Sid in even more trouble and a release German sets up the Swan Dive but Sid powers out at one. The chokeslam gets two due to Benoit’s foot being under the rope. There’s the Crossface for an immediate tap to give Benoit the title. Anderson wasn’t a factor in the entire match.

Rating: C. Watchable match here with Sid getting in almost nothing. That’s the big key here: Benoit took him apart and then made Sid submit (unlike Goldberg in an interesting bit). Unfortunately there was almost no emotion or drama here as it was just about who was going to win and there was no reason to be upset with either guy as champion.

Replays show that Sid’s foot was under the rope, which was their out to take the title off Benoit once he quit.

Benoit praises Sid for a great fight and talks about seeing the Dynamite Kid when he was eleven years old. Anderson comes in and shakes Benoit’s hand. Cue Nash to say he’s going to make Benoit’s life a nightmare starting at midnight.

Overall Rating: D. Let’s get the important part out of the way first: this was a big, big improvement over the Russo shows. It may not have been good or even decent, but there’s a huge difference between a show making me scream at the screen fifteen years later and just being pretty lame. There’s only one decent match on the show and only one moment that matters, but at least it’s a nice feel good moment.

The interesting thing here is that you might like the show better without seeing the build. It’s a totally different show than they set up due to the injuries and changes to the card, but that doesn’t mean it’s anything good. The new version of WCW starting tomorrow night is going to be…..I guess the word is interesting, but the roster being depleted all at once is one of the final nails in the coffin, which we’ll get to on Monday. Bad show, but a boring bad instead of infuriating.

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Thunder
Date: December 9, 1999
Location: Dane County Coliseum, Madison, Wisconsin
Attendance: 3,953
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Juventud Guerrera

I can’t believe I’m saying this but there’s a slight chance this could be an interesting episode. On Nitro, Russo promised A-List stars on this show. Now given how things work around here, you could have Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan and the Rock in every segment and somehow WCW would manage to screw it up, but at least the stars would be more interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here are the Outsiders with a ladder to get things going. Hall sets it up and pretends to fall off, which would be funnier if Hall wasn’t a constant threat to have a major accident every five minutes. He knows Benoit is just in this match for the raise and knows he can’t handle a regular match, so he’s asked for it to be a ladder match. Benoit should go rent a tape of the ladder match with Shawn to see what he’s getting into.

Nash wants to talk about all the people around here with chips on their shoulders, including Sid. If Sid wants to walk around like a big man, Nash has a powerbomb waiting on him. This brings out Sid to say that he’s the man. Nash: “Is Vader booked?” Sid charges the ring and goes after Nash, knocking the ladder over in the process. He loads up Nash for the powerbomb but Hall nails him in the back with the ladder. Dustin Rhodes runs out for the save, drawing out Jeff Jarrett and Benoit with the bad guys getting the better of it and setting up a likely six man main event.

Tenay talks about Rhonda Singh getting a Cruiserweight Title shot tonight but Madusa comes out to say Singh isn’t a cruiserweight. Singh is getting a title shot over Madusa’s dead body. “Does this body look dead to you?” Well it’s certainly in need of support.

Juventud Guerrera and Psychosis come out with Juvi’s Rock impression getting SILENCE. Apparently Juvy is joining Tenay in the booth for the night. Oh good grief this is going to be a long night.

Nitro recap.

Dean Malenko vs. Booker T.

Well that’s better tha most matches we get on this show so maybe things are looking up. Maybe I should stop having false hope. Before the match, Shane Douglas challenges Jim Duggan to find three friends for an eight man tag at Starrcade. If the Revolution loses, they’ll be WCW’s janitors for a month, but if Duggan loses, he renounces his American citizenship. Well sure, why not. Malenko calls Dave Penzer a typical American and Saturn quotes Stripes.

Booker (with Stevie) nails Dean with a forearm and the ax kick to start but Dean pokes him in the eye and sends him outside. Saturn and Stevie get into it on the floor as Booker goes back inside for a spinebuster. Booker loads up another ax kick but Shane nails him in the head with the cast, setting up the Cloverleaf on the unconscious Booker for the quick win.

Duggan comes out to make the save, exciting Juvy WAY too much. Yeah the Revolution is getting more screen time, but it’s leading to a Jim Duggan match. That’s the disconnect with Russo: he knows how to make the buildup work, but the end result is usually a disaster.

Sid, Benoit and Rhodes jump Creative Control and Shane outside Russo’s office. After a break, the six man is made.

The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea vs. Vampiro

Iaukea comes out to a bunch of candles as we enter another Russo standard: giving someone a really lame character which is somehow better than the one they previously had but still stupid. Juvy calls Vampiro a jabroni for stealing the Juvy Driver. The bell rings and let’s cut to Oklahoma coming out instead of watching the openin…..maybe Oklahoma is the better option here.

We come back to the ring to see Prince blowing a kiss to Paisley (later known as Queen Sharmell) and superkicking Vampiro down. That’s nice and all, but let’s cut to Roddy Piper who is GETTING OUT OF A LIMO. Back to the ring with Vampiro whipping him into the barricade but heading back inside for a spinebuster from Prince. Oklahoma hits on Paisley as Vampiro lands on his feet out of a monkey flip and superkicks Prince for the pin. This match was less than two and a half minutes long and somehow squeezed in Oklahoma’s entrance, Oklahoma hitting on Paisely, Piper getting out of a limo and two superkicks.

Prince goes after Oklahoma post match and gets beaten up by Dr. Death.

Russo fires Mona for losing on Monday. Good. Go be the adorable Molly Holly and get to actually show off a bit instead. Rhonda Singh comes in and thanks Russo as Hennig and the twins snicker at her weight. She has a plan to get ratings. Could that plan be to have a boss who makes sure that every viewer knows that women are totally beneath him and how powerful he is over them? Oh and that Singh is fat and we should all laugh at her?

Roddy Piper and Nick Patrick have a chat for the sake of plot convenience. There’s a new ruling that says all referee decisions are final. When was this not the case?

Saturn and Stevie Ray fight in the back.

Goldberg/Bret Hart get a Tag Team Title shot tonight and don’t have much to say about it.

Rhonda Singh vs. Madusa

Evan Karagias is on commentary, so I guess the title match was dropped somewhere in the 40 minutes since it was announced. Singh shoves her down to start and runs her over with the power of fat. Evan uses pop lyrics to describe his feelings for Madusa, who avoids a middle rope splash. A quick middle rope dropkick knocks Singh down as Evan gets on the apron. Madusa kisses him but it’s just a distraction so Singh can miss a charge and knock Karagias off the apron, allowing Madusa to get a rollup pin.

Time for Singh’s big ratings ploy: stripping! Juvy loves it but the lights start flickering. You can see someone jumping Singh and knocking her out.

David Flair starts talking about his match in the Block (boiler room) with Jerry Flynn. He starts saying To Be The Man but cracks up instead.

We’re about halfway through the show. Total match time: 5:53.

Stevie nails Saturn with a Surge container.

David Flair goes to fight Flynn in the boiler room but runs into Buzzkill, who wants them to give peace a chance. David tries to hit him with the crowbar but Flynn takes him down. Cue Tank Abbott for the first time in about six and a half months to lay out Flynn. This was billed as a match, believe it or not.

Tag Team Titles: Goldberg/Bret Hart vs. Creative Control

Bret and we’ll say Gerald get things going with Hart hammering on the arm. The twins start double teaming to take over as the fans already want Goldberg. A clothesline gets a very quick two count from Slick Johnson, drawing in Roddy Piper for you “wrestling isn’t enough for you so here’s something else” entertainment. Goldberg comes in without a tag and cleans house with a spear, setting up a double finish with the Sharpshooter and Jackhammer to give us new champions.

Rating: D. Longest match of the night so far at three minutes and featured the illegal man getting the pin, a crooked referee, a replacement referee, and an argument between referees. Somehow that equals out to nothing to see here other than Russo’s favorite story: wacky partners about to fight at Starrcade. I believe this makes Hart the first Triple Crown Champion of two companies.

Post match Bret shakes Goldberg’s hand and says may the best man win at Starrcade.

Stevie and Saturn fight some more but Juvy says this doesn’t matter. Neither does most of this show, but at least it doesn’t matter with bigger names this week.

Saturn vs. Stevie Ray

Stevie starts fast with a corner clothesline but tries again and eats two boots to the face. Snake Eyes and a t-bone suplex set up a dropkick for two on Stevie but he comes back with a press slam. The referee breaks up a stomping in the corner, earning him a bump in the process. I can’t believe it but they managed to make it five whole matches before the first ref bump. Cue Creative Control to lay out Stevie, giving Saturn the cheap pin (with feet on the ropes like he should be doing).

Russo tells Piper that he’ll never work in this business again.

Sting doesn’t care about Diamond Dallas “Trash’s” (is he related to Hollywood Scum Hogan?) problems but approves of Liz. You stupid, stupid man.

Total Package vs. Buff Bagwell

Juvy on Luger: “That’s the juice!” DDP comes out for commentary as Buff grabs a headlock to start. Luger shrugs off some arm cranking but misses a clothesline and gets slammed twice. Bagwell kicks him low and gets two off a neckbreaker, sending Luger outside. Page: “I’m going to shoot my own angle.” He gets up and gets in a fight with Bagwell, drawing out the agents to break it up for the no contest. We’re still waiting on a match to break three minutes tonight (the Tag Title match was three minutes even).

Duggan asks Russo for a match tonight but is told no one cares about him.

Jim Duggan vs. Asya

ENOUGH OF THE MAN VS. WOMAN STUFF! It worked with Chyna but this has been old for weeks now. And no match as Creative Control, La Parka and Hennig run in to beat down Duggan. The Revolution comes out with hot dogs and pies to make it a big mess. Harlem Heat comes out for the save.

Benoit/Sid/Rhodes are ready for the main event.

Sting vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Liz is with Sting. Sting hits the Splash and has the Deathlock on in less than 30 seconds but Page makes the ropes. The referee is decked (with Page changing directions to hit him) 50 seconds in and here’s Luger to lay out Sting with the ball bat. Page adds a Diamond Cutter for the pin. Diamond Dallas Page vs. Sting can’t even make a minute and forty seconds.

Scott Hall/Kevin Nash/Jeff Jarrett vs. Chris Benoit/Dustin Rhodes/Sid Vicious

It’s a huge brawl to start with Jeff and Chris being the only ones left in the ring for a slugout. Benoit hits something like an Irish Curse before tagging in Rhodes, who is sent into Nash’s forearm. Kevin comes in for some knees in the corner before it’s off to Hall for some right hands.

That’s the extent of the offense from Hall on Thunder so he brings Nash in for a single clothesline before it’s back to Jarrett. Rhodes gets caught in a sleeper but suplexes his way out, setting up a double tag to the monsters. Everything breaks down and Sid clotheslines the Outsiders down. The powerbomb is broken up by a guitar shot and Nash pins Sid.

Rating: D-. Oh screw off WCW. This was the longest match of the night at a riveting four minutes and twelve seconds. They’re clearly setting up the next incarnation of the NWO with Hall/Nash/Jarrett and my goodness it’s not interesting. When the Outsiders are only in there for a handful of seconds each, why am I supposed to be interested in setting them dominate a company? Again?

Overall Rating: F-. Eight matches for a total time of 19:47. Do you know how hard it is to not have twenty minutes of wrestling in a two hour show? I can’t remember the last time Smackdown had eight matches on a card or at least one match breaking ten minutes. This company has decided to just not have wrestling on its shows and that’s not going to work for more than a few more weeks. Total disaster of a show here and one of the biggest wastes of time I can ever remember in wrestling. Well not really wrestling on this show but you get the idea.

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Thunder
Date: November 11, 1999
Location: Allen County War Memorial, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Attendance: 3,283
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Larry Zbyszko

We’re closing in on Mayhem and I’m losing my will to fight. Thankfully this is a live show meaning it’s only going to be mostly horrible instead of the scum of the earth that it can be when it’s taped. One of the few good things about Russo TV is the matches are short so the horrors don’t go on as long. Let’s get to it.

One more note: of those 3,283 in attendance, 1,771 were paid. The WWF ran a house show at the same venue about seven months earlier and drew over 7,700 paid. The building’s capacity for a basketball game at the time: 10,240.

Opening sequence.

Lash Leroux vs. Evan Karagias

Disco comes out for commentary, which will be a running theme tonight. For Nitro: Evan vs. referee Johnny Boone, who is working this match. Why? Actually I was hoping you knew. Feeling out process with Evan taking Lash down for a headlock but Leroux uses the ropes for a break. Evan starts arguing with Boone, so here’s Madusa because the opening match on Thunder needs this many storylines. They start some basic wrestling to fill in time before the next story and Lash is clotheslined to the floor.

Cue the story as Disco hits on Madusa. That thankfully goes nowhere and Evan hammers on Lash, only to have Leroux flip out of a belly to back suplex and grab a Russian legsweep for two. Another suplex puts Evan down as Disco says he’s going to seal the deal with Madusa. Evan fights back with some chops and wins a slugout before getting two off a Thesz press. Instead of following up though, he goes after Disco for hitting on Madusa, who slaps Disco as she sees Evan. As he heads back inside, Leroux nails Whiplash for the pin.

Rating: D. This ran 4:34 and managed to fit all that nonsense in there. How in the world do they think this is the best course of action for the opening match? I have no idea who I was supposed to cheer for out there or what I’m supposed to focus on, but I’m pretty sure it’s not the wrestling.

Disco laughs at Evan and says he’ll bet $25,000 that he can beat Karagias at Mayhem. Madusa helps Evan up, whispers in his ear and kisses him. Evan accepts and Disco is given another Whiplash.

Gene asks Berlyn why he stopped dancing, earning him a hand over his mouth and a threat. Were we really not supposed to realize that was Wright until now?

Sid is looking for Rick Steiner.

Berlyn vs. Curly Bill

My goodness. Of all the things in WCW, THIS is the thing that gets a blowoff??? Curly is announced from South Pittsburgh, Texas. Berlyn hammers him in the corner as you would expect but Curly slips out of an attempt at a slam. Cue one of the Misfits to tell Berlyn to come out back for a fight, but the Bodyguard goes instead. Not that it matters as Vampiro comes in to jump Berlyn for the DQ. See, this is one of those things where a simple tweak would have been fine. Why not have Berlyn get a quick pin on Bill and THEN do the angle? Would that have really hurt anything?

Post match, Curly covers Berlyn and counts his own three, so the Bodyguard comes in and throws him out. Thanks for wasting that extra bit of time guys.

Gene talks to La Parka and Silver King. La Parka speaks English here, on orders from the Powers That Be. His English is actually fine, making me wonder why in the world he’s never used it before. The guy was over, he was fine in the ring and apparently he could talk so wh……oh right it’s WCW. Or that wasn’t La Parka under the mask, which is always a possibility.

Chavo tries to sell Amway products to a Villano. OH COME ON. They’re making a throwaway line into an angle?

Rick Steiner rants about Sid dumping him for the Outsiders so Sid nails him. Security breaks it up and I guess that’s our next HUGE match.

La Parka/Silver King vs. Lizmark Jr./Villano V

Before the match, La Parka talks about learning promos but still getting stuck in these lame matches. His lips don’t move so maybe I don’t have to be so annoyed at WCW for not pushing him. Well not really as he was good enough to be pushed harder but at least the talking wasn’t as big of a deal. It sounded like Ed Ferrara this time. Everyone jumps La Parka for what he said and he starts with Lizmark. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts La Parka down and Lizmark taunts King into the ring for a beatdown on the skeleton guy. King gets back at him with a knee to the spine and it’s off to King and Villano.

King slams Villano down and does a dance (he’s no Big Wiggler) before tagging La Parka back in. Villano avoids a dropkick and Lizmark throws La Parka to the floor for a suicide dive. With his partner in trouble, King busts out the yet to be named 619 to taunt Lizmark before sidestepping a charging Villano. Now it’s King diving on everyone before what appeared to be an edit sends La Parka back to the ring. As in he was on the floor and a split second later he was on the mat. Lizmark misses a top rope backsplash and gets caught by La Parka’s corkscrew dive for the pin.

Rating: C-. Totally standard lucha tag with nothing interesting and the clipping being more distracting than anything else. So much for the show being live too. One might think they’re going somewhere with the La Parka stuff, but if he never gets near the title scene, none of it is going to mean much.

Post match La Parka chairs Lizmark and Villano.

Berlyn and the Bodyguard beat up Curly Bill in the back. This thing is continuing???

Hennig says he isn’t losing and going anywhere.

Chavo sells a childless Kaz Hayashi a bunch of diapers. I think this speaks for itself.

Recap of Nitro.

Booker says he and the woman from Nitro go back a long way. More on this later I’m assuming, but we might have to see Chavo selling stuff again.

Sid stares at Rick Steiner on a monitor. Steiner doesn’t seem to know that there’s a camera on him.

Disco is on the phone and says he’ll have their money. Maybe he can get some additional money if he gets rid of Hennig.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Booker T.

Steiner is defending and hammers Booker down in the corner to start. Back up and Booker ducks a Steinerline and hits the flying forearm and a side kick. They have to get all their stuff in though as this match isn’t likely to break five minutes. Steiner comes back with two straight belly to belly suplexes (check those off the list too) and clubbing forearms before we hit the chinlock. Booker quickly fights up with his series of kicks but Steiner shoves the referee in front of the missile dropkick. Cue Sid to shove Steiner off the top and plant him with a powerbomb to give Booker the pin!

Rating: D+. And never mind as this happens.

Other referee Johnny Boone comes out and we’ve got a Dusty Finish. Sid powerbombs both referees and brawls with Steiner. The match was nothing special and your standard angle disguised as a wrestling match.

Curt Hennig vs. Dean Malenko

Douglas is on commentary and Hennig is fired if he gets pinned. I believe this is the third week where we still have no explanation for why that’s the stipulation. They do some of that wrestling nonsense to start with Dean grabbing an armbar before opting to hammer away in the corner. You can see his soul dying with every punch. Curt gets two each off a sunset flip, backslide and rollup as he tries to keep his job.

Malenko bails to the floor before heading back inside, only to get punched in the face to send him back outside. Back in again and Dean grabs a quick belly to back before putting on a chinlock. Curt comes back with his usual but Dean hits a very unusual (for him anyway) low blow but gets small packaged to counter the Cloverleaf. Back up and Malenko misses a charge in the corner, only to have Asya distract the referee so Shane can hit Hennig with the cast.

This brings out Disco Inferno as Malenko covers off a suplex. Disco shoves Malenko off and covers Hennig but Curt gets up and hits Inferno. Dean suplexes Hennig again for two but Benoit runs out for the Swan Dive on Malenko as Disco keeps everyone else at bay, giving Hennig the pin.

Rating: C-. It’s kind of interesting that you have easily the best wrestling match of the night going on when they have a nonsensical run-in followed by a more sensible run-in to end the whole thing. As many people have said before: Russo did not know how a wrestling match was supposed to go so he watered it down into something he did understand and the wrestling fans suffered as a result. It’s so sad to see Dean clearly just there because he has to be and doing things he doesn’t want to do. You can see how miserable he is out there and I completely understand him leaving soon.

Rick Steiner and Sid fight.

Maestro is ready for his match with Brian Knobbs tonight and promises to go heavy metal if necessary. Well he’s already below Van Hammer so it can’t hurt.

Knobbs and Hart aren’t happy with Norman Smiley. I am as he’s one of the funniest things on the shows lately.

Maestro vs. Brian Knobbs

Hardcore. Smiley comes out for commentary with a violin case to distract Knobbs but it doesn’t work so well (imagine, mind games not working on Knobbs) as Brian nails Maestro with a trashcan a few times. It’s cookie sheet time but a chair shot doesn’t work as well as Maestro scores with a dropkick. Maestro gets in some basic weapons shots but Jimmy Hart grabs his leg, allowing Brian to take over again.

Smiley yells at Hart to scare him off and the guys in the ring trade more basic weapons shots. There’s not much to say here other than “Knobbs hits Maestro, Maestro hits Knobbs, Knobbs and Maestro are hitting each other.” They head outside where Smiley goes after Jimmy to distract Knobbs, allowing Norman to hit Brian with a pipe. Maestro rolls Knobbs up for the pin.

Rating: D-. I just sat through five minutes of Maestro to set up a Norman Smiley vs. Brian Knobbs match. This is what I’ve come to in my life. It’s also proof that there’s more to this kind of stuff than just hitting people with weapons. People remember Road Dogg, Al Snow and Crash doing the same weak spots because they did them with some charisma and other creative spots to go with it. Also it helped when they did things outside the ring area but that could go horribly for WCW. Anyway, match was as bad as you would expect it to be.

We look at Malenko beating Mysterio on Nitro.

Tag Team Titles: Kidman/Konnan vs. Barbarian/Jerry Flynn

I’m assuming this is a title match with Kidman and Konnan defending in case you’re really new at this. Torrie is in a backless green top and even Barbarian seems to notice her. After far too many catchphrases and unintelligible gibberish from the Animals, Flynn goes outside to hit on Torrie and gets slapped in the face. She’s not into mullets I guess. Eddie goes after Flynn and gets both himself and Torrie ejected. There goes the interest in the match. As this is going on, Konnan and Kidman double team Barbarian with Kidman getting two off a middle rope Thesz press.

Barbarian shoves him out of the corner though and it’s off to Flynn for a spinwheel kick. Yes Jerry Flynn is throwing kicks people. I’m stunned too. A belly to belly gets two on Kidman before it’s off to Barbarian for a headbutt and a powerbomb, putting him on the same list as Lodi and Sid. Now there are three names you’ll probably never see together again. Barbarian misses a top rope headbutt but catches Kidman on top with a huge belly to belly superplex. Cool move actually. Everything breaks down and Kidman hits a high cross body to pin Barbarian.

Rating: C. This was WAY better than I was expecting but that might be due to it being so simple. The Animals were never in any danger but you have two guys get in some decent looking offense on them and it’s a nice little match. I still stand by my theory that Barbarian is very underrated. The guy kept getting steady work for over ten years and had some good looking power moves. He was a great role player and nothing more but he was good at what he did.

Luger says he meant to mace Goldberg on Monday and promises to make it up to Sting. The fact that these two are in a feud in 1999 tells you almost everything you need to know about where this company is heading.

Video on the Nitro Girls civil war. They really think we remember which of these are which?

The Revolution says they’re not done. Saturn starts talking about the Beatles so Malenko asks him who writes his promos. In an actually funny reply, Saturn pulls out a notebook and says “I do! I’ve got a hundred of them!” That one caught me by surprise. Well done.

Total Package vs. Kaz Hayashi

During the entrances, Norman Smiley vs. Jimmy Hart is announced for Nitro. Yes, that’s a match they want to advertise in advance. Luger comes out with a knee brace and street clothes on, saying he’s wrestled over 3,000 matches in thirteen years and won’t be able to compete on this knee. Kaz is annoyed that Luger mispronounces his name and calls him a chicken so the fight is on. A suplex, choking and a clothesline set up the Rack to end this in less than a minute and a half. Total squash.

Luger holds his knee post match. There’s nothing wrong with a good old fake injury.

Sid Vicious vs. Perry Saturn

Sid shoves him down to start and nails a clothesline as Shane Douglas jumps in on commentary again. Saturn’s cross body is countered into a backbreaker as we seem to already be in squash mode. Malenko offers a distraction but gets stared down, only to have Saturn dive on his stable mate by mistake. So Sid is so insane that he makes the other wrestlers make mistakes?

After being dropped on the barricade, Saturn grabs a quick t-bone suplex back inside, followed by a springboard leg for two. A springboard forearm staggers Sid again but he kicks Saturn in the face to take over. Saturn kicks him low to break up the chokeslam, only to jump into it a second later. Powerbomb is good for the pin.

Rating: D-. Oh sweet mother of goodness they’re turning Sid face aren’t they? I know it’s been hinted at all night but he’s wrestling this match as the good guy. Just…..no people. I know he’s insane and the crowd likes him but I can’t just forget all the matches he messed up, ruining Benoit’s push and EVERYTHING ELSE he’s done in the last few months to accept him as a face now.

I rant and rave about a lot of things WCW does but this actually bugs me. Sid needs to do WAY more than fight Rick Steiner (after turning on Steiner like a heel would. So yes, Rick Steiner should be the face in this feud and good night does that sound wrong to say) to be forgiven for what he’s done in the last few months but this is the new WCW I guess.

Sid teases powerbombs on Malenko and Asya but has to fight off an invading Rick Steiner to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Somehow this was one of the better shows of the Russo run so far. It’s another meaningless show with no connection to most of the main stories, but now we get a SID face push. I can tolerate these shows a lot more easily than Nitro as it’s shorter and less insane, but it doesn’t mean they’re fun to watch.

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Thunder
Date: November 4, 1999
Location: Cox Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 5,091
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Scott Hudson

It’s a taped show in the Russo Era, which is the kind of thing nightmares are made of. I’m not sure anyone wants to see what’s going on with this show but at least it’s only two hours instead of three and there are no tournament matches in sight. Maybe it’ll even make sense! Ok I got ahead of myself there. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Evan Karagias vs. Juventud Guerrera

This is the third shot at this match after having Bret and Sid interrupt the previous attempts. The fans aren’t pleased with Juvy so he fires off kicks at Evan, only to charge into a boot and a powerslam for two. Well we’re already closing in on the first match’s time. Juvy escapes a suplex but fails on a rollup attempt, setting up a double clothesline to put both guys down.

Back up and Evan chops away, only to duck his head and get caught by a DDT. Juvy again stops to pose for the crowd and walks into a gorilla press hot shot. Evan misses a Lionsault but is still able to crotch Juvy on the top. They slug it out until Norman Smiley of all people comes out to interrupt, meaning the match doesn’t end again.

Rating: C-. This could potentially be a running joke. Granted the joke would have a shelf life of about a month but there’s potential there. Unfortunately I don’t think that’s the plan and they just don’t care about the match and are using it as a backdrop for people to come out here and break the script for whatever they have to talk about. As usual, Russo has so much to do that he can’t fit it all into five hours of TV a week.

Norman asks Juvy (in Spanish) for a minute. Now, everyone knows that Norman is hardcore to the bone and is here to bring the Big Wiggle to the division. When you think of hardcore, you think of one man: NORman. Both cruiserweights beat him up but he eventually collapses, causing them to dropkick each other. With both guys down, IT’S WIGGLE TIME! Norman is WAY too talented for this but he’s hilarious in the role.

Shane Douglas thinks the Revolution should allow new members if someone good is available. Saturn says even NFL teams screw up in their first draft picks sometimes.

Sid, in red pants and a hat that covers about 25% of his hair, is told that there’s a change in booking tonight. His match: teaming with Saturn to face Rick Steiner and Chris Benoit. Oh that wacky Russo. Sid isn’t happy but he’ll do it.

Booker T. vs. Kaz Hayashi

Booker easily sends him into the corner to start but lets him out with a clean break. That Booker is a nice guy. A powerslam drops Hayashi but Booker poses too long (common problem tonight) and misses an elbow, allowing Kaz to fire off some low dropkicks. Why do I have a feeling that’s the extent of his offense in this match?

T. heads outside where Kaz teases a dive to make Booker duck, only to hit the slingshot dive on the real attempt. Sensing his brother being in trouble, Stevie comes over and pounds on Kaz and of course the referee is all fine with this. Back in and Booker nails a Rock Bottom, followed by the 110^th Street Slam and the missile dropkick for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was supposed to be a squash but it wound up being Harlem Heat having to team up to beat Kaz Hayashi. Booker really shouldn’t be having issues like these against someone as low level as this. It’s almost like they have no idea how to book someone in the midcard. Also, this is going to be the closest thing we have to a clean finish all night isn’t it?

The Filthy Animals steal Doug Dillinger’s wallet with Torrie offering a distraction. Again, we’re supposed to cheer for these guys right?

Rick Seiner says he and Sid will be the last men standing in the tag match tonight. Ok then.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Coach Buzz Stern

That’s Glacier if you’ve tried to block this from your memory. Coach actually takes over with a shoulder block and backbreaker to start as student Luther Biggs takes notes. That makes sense, as does the Animals taking his notebook. Hoodlums. Eddie nails a headscissors that sends Stern over to yell at the Animals, who promptly destroy him for about 30 seconds. Of course this doesn’t matter because WCW referees are worthless, including allowing Kidman to hit the BK Bomb to set up the frog splash for the pin. Comedy match.

Biggs gets beaten down as well and the Animals steal Stern’s shirt.

The challengers for the Tag Team Titles don’t seem to get along but are ready to win the belts. Their names: Berlyn and Curly Bill. This really shouldn’t surprise you.

Rick Steiner warns Benoit that it’s going to be a long night. I reiterate: ok then.

Tournament recap.

The Revolution want to know why Sid is teaming with Saturn, but Sid just says he isn’t happy. Were they running really short tonight?

Gene interviews La Parka of all people, with La Parka speaking Spanish about making it big in the United States and facing Buff Bagwell. That’s pretty basic stuff, but the captioning is a huge rant about La Parka wearing his costume as a tribute to He-Man villain Skeletor because he has every episode on tape at his house and will defeat Bagwell tonight BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL! I know I rip on Russo a lot (and with good reason), but this was hilarious.

Buff Bagwell vs. La Parka

After a quick recap of what these two have been through so far, we see that Buff isn’t that into the match again. La Parka does his dance but throws in the Hogan hand to the ear to keep himself the most over unimportant luchador on the roster. An armdrag puts Buff down and they take more time to play to the crowd. After a lot of strutting from both men, La Parka slams him down a few times.

Buff tries to get the fans to cheer for La Parka, but the masked man gets ticked off. He tells Buff to come after him so Bagwell stomps away in the corner before kneeling in the middle of the ring so La Parka can kick him like he did on Nitro a few weeks back. This time though Buff ducks and stomps away, setting up the Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D. La Parka is rapidly becoming a favorite of mine, but this Buff storyline is killing whatever interest anyone else can dig up. It’s all this “haha we’re so smart that we’re going to expose the business to make the sheep keep watching”, even though the shows are getting almost unwatchable at times. But hey, people are talking! They’re laughing and calling this show a disaster and it’s killing any future potential, but they’re talking!

Kidman is too preoccupied with Torrie being back to worry about defending the titles tonight. Usually that line would make me roll my eyes, but it’s Berlyn and Curly Bill. Come on.

Tag Team Titles: Konnan/Kidman vs. Berlyn/Curly Bill

Guess who’s defending. The intros take forever as all of the Animals have to jabber on like all those young 90s kids talked. I’ll give them this on their entrances: going from rap to opera to country is quite the variety. Berlyn fires off a bunch of strikes at Kidman to start but Kidman ducks under some clotheslines and gets two off a cross body. A powerslam puts Kidman down but Berlyn is dumb enough to try a powerbomb.

Kidman has been practicing though as he punches down instead of breaking it up with the usual faceplant. Off to Konnan for his finishing sequence but he whips Berlyn into the ropes instead of going for the Tequila Sunrise, earning him a clothesline. Off to Bill who CLEANS HOUSE (!) but quickly wants the tag. That’s not good with Berlyn, who knocks him out with the loaded glove, setting up the Tequila Sunrise.

Rating: D-. So the Neo Nazi punched out the black cowboy so the Spanish speaker and his fellow thieves can retain their titles. Which part of that makes you scratch your head? That’s a serious question actually as I’m really curious to see which one of them is the most bizarre. This is another stupid idea that just gets thrown out there for surprise value.

The Animals stomp Bill because they’re good guys like that.

Gene brings out Lash Leroux, who says he doesn’t trust Disco as far as he can throw his granddaddy’s mule. Disco has his Cajunweight title and Lash is coming for it.

After a break, Gene brings out Van Hammer, who is the rumored newest member of the Revolution. “For the Revolution, I’ll be a revelation.” No you won’t be. You suck too much.

Silver King vs. Lash Leroux

Feeling out process to start until Leroux gets taken down with a drop toehold. A standing Harlem Hangover gets two for King before Lash rolls under a spinwheel kick to send King down. It’s time for the dance into the splits into a clothesline before they head outside where King whips him hard into the steps. Back in and Leroux comes right back with a high cross body, only to get kicked HARD in the head to put him down again.

King goes to the ropes for something like a springboard Whisper in the Wind splash for two. They head outside one more time and now it’s King being sent into the barricade. Back in again and Lash gets taken down by another drop toehold but he avoids something like a Lionsault. A quick dropkick sets up the Whiplash for the pin.

Rating: C-. When did Silver King get this good at high flying? He was busting out some pretty insane stuff out there despite looking like a little butter ball. Lash isn’t bad but he really doesn’t have a character outside of being Cajun, and you can only rely on that accent for so long.

Benoit says Malenko is his prey now and he’ll fight Sid and Steiner by himself if he has to.

Dean Malenko vs. Van Hammer

Hudson says three fourths of the Revolution is here. I’d assume he means Benoit is the missing link because WCW announcers are stupid. Hammer says he should be in the Revolution and says they can do this the easy way or the hard way. Dean decks him for general purposes and goes after the knee. Hammer limps around but actually catches Dean in a powerslam. He can’t follow up though because of his knee and Dean nails him with a flying clothesline.

Since you need help with Van Hammer, Saturn gets in a knee shot of his own. Back up and Dean misses a charge, setting up a quick Flashback for two. We hit the cobra clutch but of course there’s a ref bump (that should be the center square on Russo Bingo so far), allowing the rest of the team to crotch Hammer on the post. The Cloverleaf makes Hammer tap.

Rating: D. Gah they can’t just let a match go simply can they? At some point the fans are going to catch on to all the ref bumps (by at some point I mean by the second one) and stop caring. Then again one of the big stories right now is THIS IS ALL FAKE AND I HATE THE BOOKING so I don’t think insulting their intelligence is all that big of a priority.

Video showing how much the Powers That Be have been screwing with lower midcard guys and Madusa. This doesn’t make the whole thing any better.

Battle Royal

Steve Regal, Dave Taylor, Chris Adams, Jerry Flynn, Prince Iaukea, Scotty Riggs, El Dandy, Chavo Guerrero

E freaking gads man. Apparently this is an Opportunity Knocks battle royal and the seven non-winners are on the bubble for roster spots and the winner gets a golden opportunity on Nitro. Why do I have a feeling that’s code for getting squashed by Goldberg or getting nothing because WCW won’t remember it?

Oh and just because we need one, Hudson says this isn’t a good time “to go up north.” This is from November 1999. The WWF had been a national promotion for what……at least twelve years now? And yes I get that it’s their headquarters but it’s another stupid insider line that most fans won’t get and another reason why WCW is stupid.

It’s a huge brawl to start with El Dandy being thrown out just after the bell. The Brits get in a fight (it’s expensive living in England) and Chavo takes advantage by knocking out Adams. Regal responds by kicking him low before Riggs, Flynn and Iaukea are all out in a hurry, leaving us with Regal, Taylor and Guerrero. The Brits get together but Taylor clotheslines Regal by mistake but gets eliminated anyway. A quick catapult sends Regal out to give Chavo the win as the announcers say there are seven roster spots open.

Rating: F. I don’t often do this, but I’m going to give a spoiler for this coming Nitro: Chavo wins nothing. He goes into the Powers That Be’s office and asks for his opportunity. Russo says that the opportunity for Chavo is selling Amway and throws him out. I knew something like that was going to happen as soon as this match started not because I read a spoiler, but because that’s how WCW works these days. Total waste of time and a nothing match.

Rick and Sid talk about doing the finger poke ending. That’s referenced and used WAY too often.

Sid Vicious/Perry Saturn vs. Chris Benoit/Rick Steiner

Let’s get this over with. Asya and Saturn come out, with Saturn saying that’s one fourth of the team. If Asya counts as a member, it’s one half. If Asya doesn’t count as a member, it’s one third. Again, WCW announcers are all stupid. It’s in their contracts. Here’s the opening of the match: Rick drops down for a cover but small packages Sid for two (just like Hall did on Monday). Sid responds by powerbombing him (hopefully ending their friendship) and leaving, meaning it’s Saturn vs. Benoit. Somehow this match might now suck!

They slug it out in the corner with Benoit getting the better of it with chops and a back elbow to stop a running Saturn. A backbreaker gets two on Saturn but he pops back up with a t-bone suplex. Benoit has to raise his knees to block a Lionsault and Rick gets on the apron for a tag.

Thankfully Benoit is a wrestling fan and doesn’t let him in….and Steiner blasts him with a clothesline because WE NEED RICK STEINER IN OUR LIVES! Steiner suplexes Saturn too, just so we know he’s way better than both guys, and leaves. The Crossface doesn’t work so Benoit rolls some Germans instead. The Swan Dive misses but Malenko comes in for the DQ anyway.

Rating: C. This was one of the biggest messes I’ve seen in a good while but it was mostly Benoit vs. Saturn for four minutes so I can’t complain. Yet again we have more overbooking because Russo is so sure we need it, meaning we get nonsense like Sid getting a paycheck for 45 seconds of “work” and Rick Steiner laying out everyone because he’s Rick Steiner and therefore has to be dominant. Oh geez we’re getting Sid vs. Steiner now aren’t we?

The Filthy Animals run in to attack everyone to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was actually a pretty watchable show when they let the wrestlers wrestle. They kept things moving for the most part which is the best thing they could do on a show like this. It’s kind of nice to have something almost completely unrelated from the title tournament stuff, but it’s kind of terrifying that this was their second best batch of ideas.

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Monday Nitro #212
Date: November 1, 1999
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 8,362
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

It’s still tournament time and tonight we get the other half of the first round. Some of the matches were already announced on Thunder, but I’d actually be surprised if they remembered those matches after four days. Other than that I’m sure we’ll see a lot more of the Filthy Animals vs. the Revolution, which hopefully means more of Torrie. Let’s get to it.

The Outsiders are drinking in their locker room when Bret comes in to yell at them for interfering last week. They handed him the US Title but Bret wants them to stay out of his business. You can see it coming from here.

After the usual intro, here’s Bret on crutches with something to say. He’s seen the tape from last week (now there’s something you don’t hear every day) and doesn’t want to be associated with screwjobs. As far as he’s concerned, Goldberg is still the US Champion. This brings out Sid to say it’s his because he has proof Goldberg said he quit at Halloween Havoc. They tell each other to screw themselves but here are the Outsiders to break up a powerbomb. Nash hands Sid the belt but tells him to go to the back. They yell at Bret as this is already confusing.

There’s a cage above the ring.

Here are some more brackets for the tournament.

Chris Benoit

Dean Malenko

Madusa

Evan Karagias

Scott Hall

Sid Vicious

The Cat

Lash Leroux

Buff Bagwell

Stevie Ray

Vampiro

Berlyn

Disco Inferno

Curt Hennig

Booker T.

Jeff Jarrett

Double Madusa. Oh joy.

Saturn and Torrie arrive on a motorcycle but Asya is right there to prevent her from running off. That’s one of the more logical things I’ve seen on this show in weeks.

Quick look back at Savage’s speech last week about finding someone to hand the torch to.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Vampiro vs. Berlyn

Berlyn takes him down with a headlock to start but Vampiro does the same to him. In a match between two people who could be World Champion, the announcers talk about Torrie. Back up and Berlyn scores with a kick to the ribs but charges into a powerslam for no cover. Cue the band the Misfits to surround the ring as Berlyn hits a spinwheel kick. Vampiro kicks him down as well but the referee gets bumped. The bodyguard comes in with his loaded glove but the Misfits take him out, allowing Vampiro to hit him with a chair. Vampiro dives into a dropkick but the Misfits trip Berlyn to give Vampiro the pin.

Rating: D. Someone take away Russo’s caffine. It’s a four minute and eleven second match but there was a ref bump (I’ll go low and say the first of three tonight) and FIVE people interfering. I’m fine with Vampiro pinning Berlyn, but you can easily do the same thing and get to the same post match stuff with WAY more extra stuff. Does Russo really think fans aren’t going to stick around for this match if the Misfits and the bodyguard don’t interfere during a ref bump? I know he’s delusional but come on.

Post match Berlyn says screw this character and walks off.

Kevin Nash says he can’t be Scott Hall’s manager tonight so he’ll be his promoter instead.

Shane Douglas has Torrie in a cage because that’s how you treat filthy animals. “Is this how Billy likes it?”

After a recap of the Revolution kidnapping Torrie last week, here’s the Revolution for a chat. Shane calls out the Filthy Animals because he has an offer for them. Saturn has the key to the cage, so he challenges Eddie for…….wait for it…….you know it’s coming……..A KEY ON A POLE MATCH!!! I’m stunned it took Russo this long to get to one. Malenko rips on Benoit so here’s Chris to say we should make their match a cage match. And thank goodness there’s one above the ring.

Kevin Nash is in a makeup chair.

The Filthy Animals aren’t allowed into the building so they beat up the security guards.

Mike Tenay is in the back with the Nitro Girls. Kimberly says Page is so injured that she has to leave the team to take care of him.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: The Cat vs. Lash Leroux

The now blond Miller is here against doctor’s orders though the injury isn’t specified. He slaps Lash in the face to start and punches his way out of a sunset flip attempt. Somehow being injured has really opened up his offense. Lash Irish whips him across the ring, Miller’s knee gives out, Lash grabs a basic leg lock and Cat gives up. This didn’t even last a minute and the announcers were too busy talking about Nash’s makeup to notice the match until it was over.

Hart says either the Outsiders or Sid are going to pay.

AC Jazz and Spice argue over who is going to lead the Nitro Girls. Why do they need a leader? Ah that would be because EVERYTHING HAS TO BE AN ANGLE around here.

The Filthy Animals are filming Luger and Elizabeth, with the former wanting to know what Elizabeth is going to do to help in his matches. The audio is out of sync and the camera crew is shown directing the scene. I’m assuming this is more breaking the fourth wall, but it might be something a bit better, like horrible production and not knowing how to run a show.

Larry Zbyszko has gone to Scott Steiner’s house to talk about Scott’s recent back surgery. Scott hurt his back about a year ago and then a shoulder injury made it even worse. The medicine didn’t help so he had surgery and starts rehab in 21 days. This didn’t mean much but an update is nice.

The Nitro Girls get in a fight during their routine. My goodness just let them be cheerleaders.

Tenay tells Buff Bagwell that the Powers That Be have a new surprise for him. Buff says that’s two for him and zero for them.

Nash is on the phone.

We recap the Nitro Girls fighting. Wrestling? Anyone? Soon perhaps?

They fight again in the back. Egads that’s four segments in the first hour. Add “patience” to the list of words Russo doesn’t know.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Buff Bagwell vs. Stevie Ray

Wait, this isn’t ready to go yet either. Stevie says the Powers That Be have made this a strap match. He chokes away in the corner as Heenan thinks Nash’s makeup reminds him of a former employer. We’re getting Kevin McMahon aren’t we? More choking ensues until Buff throws him over the top to hang Stevie. Cue the Harris Brothers to jump Buff and that’s a DQ. So the Powers want to screw with Buff by having him advance in the tournament?

Buff gets away so they go after Stevie, only to have Booker come out for the save.

Jeff Jarrett is annoyed people still think he hit Elizabeth with a guitar. What’s funnier to me is that she hasn’t mentioned it yet.

Here’s Kevin Nash as Vince McMahon. I guess this is the long awaited response to the Billionaire Ted skits? Nash says he does everything for the fans in his best Vince voice, which really isn’t all that great. He’s the most powerful man in sports entertainment and he built this place single handedly. In a pre-emptive move tells the fans not to chant insults at him. He’s a billionaire due to the stock options but he categorically denies anything going on.

Here’s his future World Champion who he’ll push as a babyface until people are sick of him. He’s clean, he’s sober, he’ll work in the main event against Jeff Jarrett, and he has more than one catchphrase: Scott Hall. Scott brings Nash a wig and says he can’t follow this because the Powers That Be told him he’s gone if he has one more strike and he doesn’t want to burn bridges up north. Hall asks who picks out Vince’s clothes and thinks they’re from JC Penny. To all the boys in New York, the attitude is down here.

Hokey freaking smoke this was horrible. That’s in addition to being stupid, completely missing the point, ticking off the audience, and being the last thing they should be doing when they haven’t won a night in the ratings in a year now. The imitation wasn’t even funny, especially given that Vince is basically a walking cartoon character. How many of those jokes do they think the common fan understood? The worst part, I don’t think they care how many the fans understood, because this was just for the writers to laugh at and had nothing to do with the audience, because that’s what WCW is about these days.

Luger comes up to Meng and tells him that Jeff Jarrett is making fun of him in the back. I’m assuming this is about Liz getting attacked? Jeff has been giving out bananas because Meng likes them, so Luger gives Meng one. Meng eats the banana without peeling it. I could turn this show in as a psychology project and get an A just for finding something this insane.

Hennig isn’t going to retire anytime soon and will beat Disco tonight.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Disco Inferno vs. Curt Hennig

Curt’s dad Larry is in the crowd and hugs his son. Disco tries to get a hug as well but Curt nails him from behind and takes him inside for a nice running dropkick. Some chops put Disco on the floor where Larry gets in some shots of his own. Back in and Hennig charges into a boot in the corner, setting up a swinging neckbreaker from Disco. The offense goes nowhere but Disco blocks the PerfectPlex. Can we go back to the Larry stuff? The Chartbuster is blocked as well and Disco heads outside to talk to the yet to be named fan (ECW’s Tony Mamaluke)…..and gets counted out.

Rating: D-. And that man is a champion ladies and gentlemen. The best part of this match really was Larry Hennig getting a reaction from the crowd who remembers the days when wrestlers wrestled instead of imitating the owners of other promotions in not funny comedy bits. If there’s a reason behind this Curt gets fired if he loses bit, I’m not seeing it. Finally, there was no mention of Mamaluke being the same guy that used to be Lodi’s biggest fan.

The Filthy Animals want Torrie back and Konnan issues an open challenge for the Tag Team Titles.

Norman Smiley is wearing catching gear and dancing.

Nash is “getting into character. Get it?” It makes no more sense on screen.

Meng vs. Barbarian vs. Norman Smiley

Hardcore match. Apparently Madusa is back in the tournament because it wasn’t fair to have her fight Meng with no warning. Smiley is wearing the catcher’s gear to the ring which would eventually become football pads. The monsters fight in the corner but Meng stops to beat him up. Tony thinks this is hilarious. The former Faces of Fear double team Smiley with weapons shots until Barbarian hits Meng in the head with a mop. They do the same sequence again but with a trashcan instead of a mop.

Norman keeps trying to fight back but Meng knocks him into the corner and dropkicks Barbarian down. Meng takes off Norman’s catcher’s mask and knocks him to the floor where Jimmy Hart rips off the chest protector. Back to more double teaming of Smiley in the ring and a stretcher comes out to save Norman. However, it’s a ruse as Norman sees both guys down in the ring with Meng face first between Barbarian’s legs. Somehow that’s not a cover from Meng so Norman runs in to pin Barbarian.

Rating: D-. Oh for goodness’ sake. Somehow this match was the longest of the night at a whopping six minutes and thirty one seconds. I guess this is supposed to pass for comedy now as you have Norman go from nothing to being the hardcore idiot, which is better than what he was doing in theory. Somehow this is going to get even worse I’m sure, but just let it be shorter. Please?

Norman does the Big Wiggle on the announcers’ table.

Jeff Jarrett says it’s time for his public apology.

Jim Duggan talks to the Powers That Be and says he’s lost a kidney but he can have a bigger impact in the few years he has left than he’s had in the last twenty years. A voice (Russo) asks if Duggan is asking for an opportunity. That’s all Duggan wants, but Russo asks how that will help the ratings. He’ll think about it.

Sidebar for future reference: the only people who care about ratings are either people who work for a wrestling company or people with WAY too much time on their hands. Stop using them as a plot device, because almost no one knows or cares what the heck you’re talking about and it just sounds dumb. Wrestlers fight for championships or to settle scores, not for the ratings. Also, you lose the right to talk about ratings after that Nash skit earlier.

Hall and Nash are in the back and say if Sid gets screwed, it’s because Sid screwed Sid. Can we at least get a reference to something not almost two years ago?

Luger talks to Meng again but Meng doesn’t seem to understand.

Here’s Jeff Jarrett, who demands Luger come out here and apologize for accusing him of attacking Liz last week. Jarrett: “This isn’t the WWF and we don’t abuse women here.” Luger and Liz come out and admit that they’re not sure it was Jeff, so they’re sorry. However, Luger thinks it might have been Meng, who Jeff calls a giant ape. Cue Meng to chase Jarrett off, allowing Liz to mace Meng so Luger can beat on him with a tire iron. Couldn’t he have done this in the back? Or during the hardcore match when Meng was out cold? Too logical I’m guessing?

Sid doesn’t answer when the Outsiders knock on his door.

Luger asks Sting to team up with him to go after the Tag Team Titles.

Perry Saturn vs. Eddie Guerrero

Pole match with Torrie in a shark cage on a fork lift, wearing a dress cut lower than this show’s ratings. Eddie is on Saturn from the bell and takes him outside for a whip into the barricade. The early attempt at the key doesn’t work though as Saturn comes back in and suplexes Eddie instead. Eddie pops back up though and nails a SWEET springboard tornado DDT, but this time it’s Shane stopping the run for the key.

After a crash onto Kidman, Eddie runs back in to stop Saturn as I ask the obvious question: WHY ARE THEY CLIMBING A FREAKING POLE??? I know Russo hates wrestling but what’s up with the pole thing? Anyway Saturn superplexes Eddie down and plants him with a piledriver but drops a headbutt instead of going for the key. Eddie gets back up and sends him into the cage, where Torrie reaches through to choke Saturn. With the other Animals going holding back the Revolution, Eddie climbs the pole and (eventually since the pole is greased. Yes grease on a pole) gets the key.

Rating: D. I’m so glad we built up this story last week and blew it off with a five minute pole match instead of some big fight between the two groups to win Torrie’s freedom. Instead, Eddie climbed up the pole and got the key to the shark cage to get her off the forklift. Somehow, a week is a long build up for Russo. That sums up so many of his problems.

Torrie is freed and that’s that.

The Outsiders are in the back and “McMahon” tells Sid to trust him. Sid goes into a rant about getting screwed when he left the WWF so Nash takes off the wig and Sid starts laughing. For the far too many-th time tonight, what in the world are they talking about?

Luger is now focused on the Tag Team Title shot.

Tag Team Titles: Konnan/Kidman vs. Sting/Total Package

Sting and Luger are challenging. Tony’s horrible sense of timing continues as he says last week’s 13 second Sting vs. Knobbs “match” was about two minutes long. Package starts by posing but Sting cleans house instead. We finally settle down to Kidman vs. Luger with Lex laughing at him until a dropkick puts him down. Luger tries to get up but grabs his knee. He crawls over to Sting for a tag as Konnan comes in to clean house. It’s so bad that Mysterio and Guerrero come in for the DQ beatdown of Sting. Another angle instead of a match.

The Animals destroy Sting and beat him down with the bat. So is Sting back to being a face like he should have been all along? That might be the first thing Russo has gotten right. The Animals leave so Sting yells at Luger.

Hall says he’ll lay down for Sid tonight. Nash says he did these skits because he’s the only giant left (remember that he’s saying this to SID) and has no booking power.

Sting looks for the Animals, because somehow they’re a main event level group all of a sudden.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jeff goes after him in the aisle but the referee takes the guitar away, allowing Booker to come back with some right hands. They fight into the ring where Booker nails a spin kick and spinning forearm, only to get sent outside for some whips into steel objects. The Harris Brothers are on the stage as Jeff clotheslines Booker down and puts on a sleeper.

Booker escapes and hits his usual finishing sequence, only to have the bald guys throw in a guitar. With one of them offering a distraction, Jeff nails Booker with the guitar. Despite seeing the guitar come in, being maybe two weeks from the guitar hitting Booker in the head and DIVING OVER THE BROKEN PIECES, Robinson counts the pin.

Goldberg is on the set of Slam (the name of Ready to Rumble, even though Tenay used the name Ready To Rumble earlier in the night) and wants to kill Sid and the Outsiders.

The Nitro Girls are still fighting so Nash comes in and says save it for the pay per view.

Evan Karagias wants to be Madusa’s friend after their match tonight.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Madusa vs. Evan Karagias

Madusa gropes him to start but then shoves his hat off. Evan grabs her from behind but rubs her legs. She lays down but Evan pulls her up, only to get kissed down to give Madusa the pin in another nothing angle disguised as a match.

David Flair talks to his crowbar.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Chris Benoit vs. Dean Malenko

In a cage. Malenko (who got a jobber’s entrance. IN A CAGE MATCH?) chokes him down in the corner to start but Benoit comes back with shots to the ribs and a powerbomb, sending Malenko head first into the top of the cage for a bonus. Benoit chops away and dropkicks him into the cage, only to miss another dropkick so Malenko can catapult him into the steel.

A few battering rams send Benoit head first into the cage, but he escapes a third one and plants Malenko with a tombstone in a nice counter. Chris slits his throat and goes up, only to have Malenko pop up and superplex Benoit off the top. Cue Saturn with a chain, but Benoit intercepts the pass to Malenko and knocks Dean cold (like ice man). With no real need to other than to finally wake up the crowd, Benoit goes up top and nails a HUGE Swan Dive from the top of the cage for the pin.

Rating: C+. 90% of that is for the Swan Dive alone. Thankfully they let this have some time (four and a half minutes is time in Russo World) as Benoit and Malenko could have a good match in their sleep. I’m glad to see Benoit rising above the rest of the midcard and he deserves this more than Malenko (not that he doesn’t deserve a push of his own).

Cue the Revolution to chain Benoit to the cage. Before they can get much further though, the Filthy Animals come out for the save but David Flair comes out to crowbar all of them down. Konnan tries to get out but Sting comes in to beat him down. Patience Russo, patience. I assure you it won’t hurt anything and you can get all your nonsense in every week.

David Flair leaves and gets run down by a car. Kimberly gets out and pokes him before getting back in and driving away. I think the whiplash I’m getting from these fast angles is worse than whatever is wrong with David.

Nash is down in the back and says Bret did it. Russo trope: someone being down when we didn’t see the attack.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Sid Vicious vs. Scott Hall

Sid has the US Title on. They talk trash until Sid pokes him in the chest to put Hall down. Sid covers but Hall tries a small package for two. The bigger guy is ticked off and pounds Sid against the ropes before getting two off a backbreaker. Sid chokes even more as the fans want Goldberg. The cobra clutch has Hall in trouble but Hall fights back with right hands. A chokeslam drops Hall again but the referee goes down because we need to fill the quota. Bret comes out and breaks his crutch over Sid’s back, allowing Hall to cover for the pin.

Rating: D-. At least the show is over and at least this story makes something resembling sense. The fact that I can map out the story from beginning to end and (if I ignore the Vince stuff) make sense of it tells me that it’s probably the best story on the show. Now if only we can get a match to go five minutes.

Hall gets the title to end the show.

Here are the updated brackets, assuming they don’t switch things up:

Bret Hart

Perry Saturn

Norman Smiley

Kidman

Total Package

???

Meng

Sting

Chris Benoit

Madusa

Scott Hall

Lash Leroux

Buff Bagwell

Berlyn

Curt Hennig

Jeff Jarrett

Overall Rating: D-. Yet somehow, this was a step in the right direction from last week. They cut down on some of the stupid stuff, but at the same time cranked up some of the other problems. The Vince McMahon stuff wasn’t funny, didn’t lead anywhere and seemed to be there to make Russo laugh. That MIGHT have gone over better today since Vince has basically turned into an insane man from time to time, but this was just one big inside joke that got TV time.

The wrestling sucked tonight but that goes without saying on a Russo show. This tournament is a mess, but next week will only (in theory at least) have half the matches of the first two weeks. Multiple tournament matches were turned into gimmick matches, because apparently I’ll care about Stevie Ray vs. Bagwell in a strap match.

At least there are a few stories taking shape, even if they’re not very good. Unfortunately for every Revolution vs. Filthy Animals, there’s a Buff Bagwell REAL LIFE story. These “shoot” stories are getting old fast but Russo seems to think they’re the greatest thing since sliced bread (that would be sliced bread #1 in case that’s not clear). Horrible show this week and I see no reason to keep coming back, especially with two weeks before Mayhem.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: October 28, 1999
Location: Cox Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 5,091
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay

The company has been turned upside down in the last week and a half as suddenly there’s a World Title tournament for the vacant belt, wrestling doesn’t matter, and the Filthy Animals are ALL OVER THE PLACE. Now to be fair that means Torrie on TV a lot more so maybe this isn’t all bad. Heaven help us with whatever Thunder is going to become. Let’s get to it.

Opening montage.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Evan Karagias

This is a rematch from when Bret interrupted their match on Nitro a few weeks back. Evan misses an early dropkick and gets headscissored down but Juvy stops to pose. He spends too long though and gets sent into the buckle so Evan can hammer away in the corner. A spinwheel kick drops Evan but he reverses a suplex into one of his own. They’re starting to pick things up a bit. Juvy nails a dropkick and a headbutt before yelling at the fans…..and here’s Sid so never mind.

Sid actually doesn’t destroy them and lets Juvy leave. He says he’s undefeated and has proof that Goldberg didn’t beat him. Sid throws out an open challenge to anyone in the back and Juvy comes back in to sit on the ropes. Thankfully that’s just a red herring as Benoit comes out to accept the challenge. Sid promises to cripple Benoit tonight and chokeslam the cruiserweights to restore our faith in him.

The announcers chatter about Benoit.

The Maestro is in the back and talks about being the star of the show. This character is as much of a disaster as Berlyn.

Chavo Guerrero is looking for Goldberg because he wants TV time.

Prince Iaukea vs. The Maestro

Good grief end this show already. Iaukea dropkicks Maestro as he turns around so Maestro points a finger at him. THE DEVASTATION! We get into some basic stuff with both guys trading wristlocks until Maestro slugs him into the corner. A whip sends Prince across the ring and Maestro follows him up with even more punches. Prince chops and backdrops for two but eats a knee lift and gets caught in an STF (the Encore) for the submission. Short, bad and the Maestro vs. Prince Iaukea. I think that sums the whole thing up.

Quick recap of the Revolution vs. the Filthy Animals with Torrie being kidnapped on Monday.

Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko vs. Silver King/El Dandy

Shane says Asya is keeping Torrie wherever the Revolution wants her. Malenko threatens to break Benoit’s legs on Monday in their tournament match. The Revolution throws their victims to the floor but Silver King comes back in for something like a running DDT to Saturn. Dandy comes in for a double drop toehold and a double kick to the chest to keep Saturn in trouble.

Back to King but Dean offers a distraction and Saturn kicks Silver in the face. It’s off to Dean for a basement dropkick and a lot of spitting, setting up Saturn’s top rope knee. The Revolution takes King outside for some choking before a suplex/high cross body combo gets two. King gets in a few shots for the tag to Dandy for a missile dropkick to Dean. A plancha takes Saturn down as well (barely touching him but the dive looked good) but Dean nails Dandy with a chair, setting up the Cloverleaf for the win.

Rating: D+. Another squash here and a bit better performance from the luchadors than I was expecting. That being said, we’re two days into the Revolution vs. Animals feud and I’m already sick of both teams. Neither is likeable in the slightest and the Revolution has gone completely against their original idea. This was acceptable but at least it didn’t involve the Animals.

Chavo searches for Goldberg.

Long recap of Nitro. This felt like filler.

Harlem Heat is ready for Curly Bill tonight but Chavo interrupts to talk about looking for Goldberg.

The Revolution gets in a car.

Curly Bill says there are no problems in the Rednecks and he needs to go back and tend to the moose on his ranch. Gene doesn’t think ranches have moose and Curly goes off on him about being the real cowboy here. Ok that wasn’t bad.

Stevie Ray vs. Curly Bill

Oh…..joy. Stevie jumps him at the bell and stomps away in the corner as Booker is on commentary, talking about facing Jeff Jarrett in the tournament. Stevie misses a middle rope elbow but no sells Curly’s shoulders and kicks him in the face. They head outside with Curly going face first onto the announcers’ table (Booker: “ARE YOU OK?”, followed by a right hand to the face). Back in and Stevie gets two off a side slam but the referee gets bumped. Dear goodness enough with that nonsense. Curly hits him with the boot but Booker comes in for a hard Harlem side kick, setting up the Slap Jack for the pin.

Rating: D-. This ref bump stuff has to stop. There’s one on almost every show now and they’re not even in the main events. This was a three and a half minute squash but the squasher needed a ref bump to win. That doesn’t make sense and misses the entire point of basic wrestling booking.

Konnan/Kidman/Eddie Guerrero vs. Steven Regal/Chris Adams/Dave Taylor

Before the match, all of the Animals talk about wanting to do various things to the Revolution, including playing them like marks. Rey jumps in on the announcers’ table to talk about the Revolution. Taylor goes right after Eddie to start and avoids an early dropkick before taking Eddie down with European uppercuts and a basement dropkick of his own.

Off to Adams, who gets caught by a rolling clothesline from a crotch grabbing (his own at least) Konnan. As Rey tries to get money out of Zbyzsko, Konnan jumps over Adams in the corner but eats a European uppercut from Regal. Off to Kidman who sends Regal into the ropes, nearly knocking Adams off by mistake. Kidman throws Regal down but charges into a hot shot to change control again.

The Brits start stomping away until Kidman blocks a powerbomb. Konnan, ever adherent to the rules, comes in to nail Adams without tagging. Kidman charges into Regal’s elbow in the corner and it’s off to Adams, who goes up and tries…..something resembling a Superman Punch but crashes down. The hot tag brings in Guerrero to clean house as everything breaks down. Eddie hits a quick suplex on Taylor and a big frog splash is enough for the pin.

Rating: C. Not the worst match in the world, Filthy Animals annoyance aside. They’re just unlikeable people who ramble on with lingo that ranges from sounding stupid to making no sense while seemingly want to rape every member of the Revolution. Somehow, one of the most likeable wrestlers of all time in Rey Mysterio is associated with this group and WCW seems to think the fans will find them to be the good guys.

Oh and the Filthy Animals steal the losers’ robes for good measure.

Chavo is on the phone, saying he’s going to get himself over since Goldberg isn’t here to do it for him. Wrestlers using this lingo today would appeal to an extremely niche audience. In 1999, this might as well be Martian.

Berlyn speaks English to say that his master plan is in effect and we will all serve him one day. His plan is to lose to Brad Armstrong?

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Lash Leroux

Lash says he’s going to win the tournament and be the younger World Champion ever. I think Giant still has his beat even if he wins. Chavo comes out and reminds us that he’s looking for Goldberg for no apparent reason. Lash goes right after him to start and does his splits but misses a clothesline, allowing Chavo to hook a headscissors.

A belly to back gets two for Chavo and he slugs away in the corner. Lash jawbreaks out of a chinlock and gets two of his own off a suplex. That goes nowhere so Chavo takes him into the corner for a stomping but gets forearmed in the head, setting up a chinlock. We get a very sudden BORING chant which almost feels piped in.

I would ask why a company would do that, but this is one of the least stupid things WCW has done in recent weeks. More really basic stuff changes control a few times until Chavo gets a positive reaction and a near fall off a dropkick. Guerrero scores with a clothesline and some chops in the corner, only to get caught in Whiplash for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D+. So Chavo wants to find Goldberg, gets cheered by the fans and then loses to Lash Leroux. Somehow they’ve managed to fit that much plot into about 75 minutes after Chavo having almost nothing to do for weeks. If they could find a happy middle ground, I’d be curious to see where some of these ideas went. As it is, I barely remember them by the end of the show because of how fast they come and go.

Kidman records Buff Bagwell and Scotty Riggs talking about the finish of a match. I think I know where this is going and I can feel the headache coming.

Ernest Miller, flanked by three women, gets out of a white limo. So he’s the Godfather now? I’ve heard worse ideas.

Berlyn vs. Jerry Flynn

Just cut the cord already. During the entrances, we hear that WCW is filming a movie in Los Angeles. My goodness it’s Ready to Rumble time isn’t it? Berlyn goes right at him and hits a kind of floatover DDT before cranking on a wristlock. Shouldn’t that be the other way around? They trade kicks before Berlyn sends him into the ropes for a kick to the face, a nipup and another dropkick for the best looking sequence he’s done in years.

More kicks to Jerry set up a belly to back but Flynn avoids a charge against the ropes. Jerry fires off his usual array of strikes but throws in some right hands to show his versatility. The Bodyguard intercepts Jimmy Hart (who is the face here anyway?) and nails Flynn for missing a charge, giving Berlyn an easy victory.

Rating: D. He’s evil, German and apparently athletic when he wants to be. This character is dead in the water though and they need to find something else for him to do. That’s one area where Russo truly was excellent: finding a new character for someone. The words “creative has nothing for you” do not exist on his watch. The gimmick might be insane and ridiculous, but he would have something.

Chavo is still looking for Goldberg but finds Sid instead. “YOU WANT TV TIME?” A chokeslam leaves Chavo on a cart, end scene.

Here’s Ernest Miller with the three good looking women. After telling the rednecks to sit down, he informs us that he’ll be in the tournament on Monday against doctor’s orders. THIS warranted coming to the ring and talking?

Benoit thinks Sid is running his mouth too much. I’d say it’s more that he’s wrestling too much but that’s just me. Benoit isn’t done with Malenko either.

Scotty Riggs vs. Buff Bagwell

Some things never change. We recap Buff’s kayfabe murdering story about not wanting to job ever again because he doesn’t care for the Powers That Be. This would be the REAL part in the middle of all the fake stuff you’re seeing. I have no idea if Bagwell is a face or a heel here and I think that’s the point. Riggs doesn’t have the mirror anymore. They trade full nelsons to start until Buff breaks out and just stands in the corner.

Tenay promises us eight more tournament matches on Monday. Be still my beating heart. Riggs gets taken down in a headlock but walks into a dropkick to send him into the ropes for more staring. Some leg work keeps Bagwell down and a high cross body gets two. Riggs looks stunned because, I kid you not, that was supposed to be the finish. The referee yells at Bagwell but he small packages Riggs for the pin with the referee slowly counting it. Bagwell’s music doesn’t play and THAT WAS A SHOOT. BECAUSE FANS KNOW WHAT THAT IS!

Rating: F. “Come see Buff Bagwell! He’s bored and not trying because he doesn’t agree to our scripted finishes! By paying us your money, you’ll get to see him stand around and not care and barely put any effort into his matches!” Vince Russo was paid to think of this idea and then asked you to pay money to watch it play out on pay per view. Russo somehow convinced people he was a genius by doing this. Maybe he’s smarter than we all are and we just can’t keep up with him.

Mayhem ad.

Chris Benoit vs. Sid Vicious

Please….be gentle? Sid shoves him around to start and fires off some kicks to the ribs (Daniel Bryan has nothing to worry about) followed by a right hand to the jaw. Benoit comes back with strikes of his own and a middle rope dropkick for two but the kickout sends him flying out to the floor. Back in and Benoit flashes back to Fall Brawl by going after the leg. Why he thinks Sid will sell now is anyone’s guess.

A few cannonballs down onto the leg look to set up the Figure Four but Sid kicks him right back to the floor. This time the big man follows him out and drops Benoit across the barricade before taking him back in for choking, choking, forearms to the chest and more choking.

Benoit’s comeback is stopped cold by a big boot and we hit the camel clutch so Sid can rest after his hard day in the ring. A few slams get two each on Benoit but he pops up and grabs a German suplex. The Swan Dive misses but Sid is too spent to follow up, allowing Benoit to slap on the Crossface. You know Sid isn’t tapping though so here are Saturn and Malenko for the DQ.

Rating: D+. So to clarity, Benoit is now the guy that puts up a good fight against the bigger names but is never allowed to be on their level. Thanks for wasting our time with the Bret tribute match and the US Title reigns, because it’s pretty clear that none of it means anything just a few weeks later.

Sid powerbombs everyone to make it clear that no one is on his level. The Filthy Animals run out to beat up the pieces of the Revolution to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I can’t believe I’m saying this but Nitro was more entertaining than this. Thunder continues to be almost nothing beyond average and makes us sit through a ref bump in a Curly Bill vs. Stevie Ray match. The wrestling is bad, the stories range from nonsensical to previews for a Nitro way too complicated to keep track of. Yet somehow, I’d take this over the recent episodes. At least this is so insane that it’s fascinating to watch in a way while the recent ones were a way to cure my sleepless nights.

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Monday Nitro #209
Date: October 11, 1999
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’ve coming off a genuinely great wrestling match last week and something tells me that it’s going to go downhill from here. The main event is Benoit/Hart teaming up against a team to be announced. Other than that, we might get to see more car hijinks between Sid and Goldberg in the parking lot. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory Of graphic for Gorilla Monsoon. That’s quite the tribute considering he never wrestled there. Monsoon is still one of the fondest remembered names ever in wrestling and it’s nice of them to do this.

Benoit and Hart arrive and are met by Luger and Elizabeth. The latter thinks we need immigration and it seems Luger will be one of their opponents tonight.

Sid gets out of a cab. Continuity!

We go to Tony and Bobby, who have some kind words about Monsoon. Heenan gives a very heartfelt tribute to his friend, saying that the pearly gates of Heaven will now be known as the Gorilla Position. He has to look down to hide his tears. That’s a very touching tribute.

Malenko asks Saturn what happened last week. Saturn was there to stop Shane and attacked Mysterio in self defense but Malenko doesn’t seem convinced.

Perry Saturn vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Saturn apologizes to Mysterio but again, Rey doesn’t buy it. He armdrags Saturn down off a handshake and we start fast. A headscissors and dropkick send Saturn to the floor and Rey follows him out with a big flip dive. He does that as well as anyone not named Guerrera that I’ve ever seen. Back in and a hurricanrana is countered into a Liger Bomb from Saturn, another move that never gets old. We hit an armbar on Mysterio and go to a break. Saturn hits the springboard spinning legdrop and a release belly to belly suplex to send Rey flying.

Mysterio avoids a charge in the corner and hits the Bronco Buster but walks into a reverse powerbomb to put him back down again. A legdrop misses though and Mysterio springboards right onto Saturn’s shoulders but he gets out of the Death Valley Driver. Back up again and they crotch each other trying simultaneous dropkicks. That’s quite a painful looking spot actually. Saturn gets up first and goes all the way to the top but Rey pops up and hits a huge super hurricanrana. Cue Douglas to attempt some interference but Malenko cuts him off. This brings out Kidman for protection but he hits Saturn, drawing the DQ.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but and I could have gone for more of it. Saturn may not have been a top star or anything, but he was capable of having an entertaining match with the right opponent. Mysterio certainly fits the bill too as he was busting out the high flying stuff. Unfortunately, none of these guys have anything to fight over because Benoit is suddenly in the main event scene (and it’s about time) but the US Title is way out of reach, Disco Inferno is Cruiserweight Champion, and the Tag Team Titles, which would fit this feud well, are still being defended against the First Family. The action is there, but the priorities aren’t.

Kidman wants a tag match later tonight, because setting it up for next week would just be lunacy.

Video on Meng. He’s a monster you know.

Arn Anderson and Ric Flair are watching the video with cans of Surge next to them and Anderson brushing his teeth. They declare Meng the real deal and that’s it. As usual, this was random and served no bearing on the show otherwise.

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Kaz Hayashi

Disco, now wanting to be known as D.I., is defending. Kaz takes him down with a flying headscissors so Disco comes back with right hands. Those just earn him another headscissors and a dropkick as they’re actually setting up a simple premise already. The champ bails to the floor but takes a suicide dive. Somehow, his hair is still immaculate.

Back in and Disco hits a good running clothesline (wow he can still his arm out AND has perfect hair) followed by the middle rope forearm and neckbreaker for two. Four moves of gloom maybe? A sunset flip doesn’t get Kaz anywhere as Disco rakes the eyes and plants him with a DDT. They head outside for nothing so Disco misses another clothesline and gets caught in a hurricanrana. Kaz counters a powerbomb into a sunset flip but walks into the Chartbuster to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This is similar to the old days of the NWA World Junior Heavyweight Championship. Back at Starrcade 1984, the title was defended between two guys very similar to Disco: people who may have been under the weight limit but who wrestled like any average heavyweight. There’s no reason to have a Cruiserweight division if the wrestlers aren’t doing anything out of the ordinary. Kaz did some high flying but it’s nowhere near enough to save a match like this.

Meng vs. Konnan

Konnan does his catchphrases and even a monster knows how stupid they sound. He kicks Konnan down and no sells a faceplant (good stereotype) before trying an early Death Grip. Instead he nails Konnan in the back of the head and chokes away in the corner as this is full squash mode. Meng no sells some clotheslines but actually does sell a bulldog. That earns him another superkick and a lot of yelling. Konnan tries a sunset flip out of the corner and gets caught in the Death Grip for the win.

Rating: D. I dig Meng doing his monster stuff but it’s similar to Scott Norton: you can only set this stuff up so many times before the effect wears off, especially if Goldberg is going to be the one beating him later on. Total squash here though and it’s nice to see Konnan getting shut up for a change.

Berlyn and the bodyguard jump Brad Armstrong but Brad steals Berlyn’s cane and fights back. My goodness just let them fight tonight and get it over with already.

Hall and Nash come to their seats again and say they’re not coming back. After wishing Dusty Rhodes a happy birthday, they’ll be back in July 2012 when he’s the right age for a WCW main event. Nash co-main evented a WWE show in December 2011 and was in the 2014 Royal Rumble, so somehow this isn’t too far off from the truth.

Goldberg vs. Horace Hogan

Sid stares Goldberg down during the entrance but Goldberg doesn’t do anything. Did anyone check the parking lot though??? One thing I’ve always wondered: why did someone as tough as Goldberg need a police escort? Shouldn’t that be a heel thing? Horace actually comes out second here for some reason. Heenan criticizes the term “uncrowned champion”, despite referring to Andre as that back in the day. Goldberg shoves Horace down with ease and hits the gorilla press powerslam.

An AA into a cross armbreaker has Horace in trouble but he makes the ropes. Did Goldberg ever win a match with that hold? They head outside with Goldberg being sent into the steps. Tony: “That could have knocked him out!” Heenan: “It could have broke the steps!” Horace gets two off a top rope splash but it’s spear and Jackhammer for the fast pin to complete the squash.

Gene brings out Hogan for a talk. Apparently the internet isn’t happy with Hogan getting another title shot but the internet makes Hogan sick. Red and Yellow will be running wild at Halloween Havoc. Yes and the ratings will be running through the floor.

Sting vs. Hogan video.

Nitro Girls.

Torrie wipes lipstick off Kidman’s face right in front of David Flair. Torrie: “Go talk to your dad or something.”

Brian Knobbs vs. Stevie Ray

Everyone, including the seconds, have weapons here. Knobbs kicks Stevie in the ribs to start but misses an early middle rope trashcan splash. A big chair shot to the head knocks Knobbs silly but Stevie would rather kick a trashcan on his head than cover him. Another kick to the head puts Brian outside but Morrus gets in some shots to take over. Thanks a lot Booker.

Back in and Knobbs hits his splash for two but Stevie hits him low to block the Pit Stop. Then Stevie and Knobbs do the Charleston and debate French literature. For all I know that’s what happens as the camera stays on Hall and Nash for a good bit. Booker and Morrus get in a fight at ringside as Stevie kicks a trashcan into Knobbs’ face for two. Jimmy Hart sneaks in a trashcan shot of his own (with as much impact as you would expect) to give Knobbs the pin.

Rating: D-. Jimmy Hart just knocked a Tag Team Champion silly to give Brian Knobbs a pin, furthering the feud before Knobbs and Morrus get a pay per view title shot in less than two weeks. There comes a point where there’s nothing left to do and WCW is reaching that point. What are you supposed to do when this is the kind of nonsense you have to deal with?

We look at the Revolution’s issues from last week.

Here’s Shane Douglas to address his issues with the team. Shane calls out the rest of the group to air their dirty laundry. He blames Malenko for Saturn not getting a pin earlier tonight and wants to know why Benoit is teaming with Hart tonight. Benoit: “If there was no Hart Family, there would be no Crippler, and if there were no Crippler, there would be no Revolution.” PREACH IT BROTHER!

He throws his Revolution shirt at Douglas and leaves. Saturn goes off on Douglas for setting up a tag match when Shane isn’t cleared to wrestle. Malenko steps in and agrees to team with him tonight and says they’ll get the Revolution back where it should be. Shane is left alone and hopefully is thrown off the team for good, as he never should have been a part of it in the first place.

Brad Armstrong vs. La Parka

La Parka does the Thinking Man pose on his chair. The mileage he’s gotten out of that one simple idea is incredible. He spends too much time dancing though and eats a clothesline as Armstrong starts fast. The referee stops Brad in the corner though and La Parka gets in some cheap shots to take over.

A powerslam gets two on Brad and the masked man mostly hits a top rope flip dive for two. Armstrong comes back with right hands but here’s Berlyn. The referee gets bumped and the bodyguard lays out La Parka with a chair. The distraction lets Berlyn hit his bad neckbreaker on Armstrong, but Brad on top of La Parka for the pin.

Rating: D. STOP PUSHING THIS STUPID FEUD! Good freaking grief this thing is getting more time than Goldberg vs. Sid and no one cares. It’s such a lame feud between a lame character and a guy who really doesn’t deserve a push like this at this point. You couldn’t have Eddie or someone like that beat up Berlyn, just to give him something interesting to do?

Curt Hennig is talking to Torrie when David comes up. Hennig beats him down for fun. Again, more stuff that could be used on more important people.

Norman Smiley vs. Berlyn

Norman promises to get jiggy with it. Somehow that line works. Berlyn throws him down with a hiptoss to start as the USA chants begin, presumably in support of the British wrestler. Eh no one ever said Mississippi was brilliant. Norman speeds things up with a hiptoss of his own and some clotheslines, sending Berlyn to the ropes to hide. Unfortunately it doesn’t send him to the unemployment line where he belongs, but it’s almost impossible to get fired from this company.

A belly to back suplex plants Smiley but Berlyn does the “I’m diving into your boot on purpose and there’s nothing else I could possibly be doing up here” spot. The wind up slam plants Berlyn twice in a row and it’s time to dance. You would think Berlyn would like that spot but instead he hits a running knee to the chest and a neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D. Berlyn isn’t very good and it’s becoming more and more obvious every single week. I have no idea why they couldn’t just leave him as the dancing heel, but I’d assume it’s because WCW doesn’t know how to do something as simple as not screw up a simple character. Smiley continues to be WAY too good for the role he’s in.

Here’s Ric Flair with something to say. He’ll be facing DDP at Halloween Havoc but he wants to talk about “Mr. Perfect…..Curt Hennig.” A challenge is issued for tonight, but as for Page, maybe Kimberly would rather try the FOURTEEN TIME FOURTEEN TIME FOURTEEN TIME champ. Another week, another big enough match set up before it has the time to build properly.

Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr.

Unfortunately Shane is at ringside. Malenko and Kidman get things going and head to the mat with Malenko taking over. Dean throws him down and nails a nice dropkick, followed by a leg lariat to send him outside. Now the drama begins as Douglas goes after Kidman but Malenko makes the save. Instead Dean tags Saturn in for a belly to belly, sending Kidman right back to the floor. Douglas and Malenko argue over attacking Kidman again, but Saturn uses the distraction to send Kidman into the steps as we take a break.

Rey comes in but charges into a powerbomb with Saturn adding a top rope cross body for something like a Doomsday Device. Malenko isn’t cool with Saturn coming in off the blind tag though and breaks up the cover.. Mysterio moonsaults onto Saturn’s shoulder and sends him into the buckle, setting up the Bronco Buster but Saturn raises his boot for the stop. Incredibly fast pace so far. A belly to belly gets two for Saturn and it’s back to Malenko.

Rey’s sunset flip goes nowhere and Dean takes his head off with a clothesline. Saturn tags himself back in and Dean isn’t cool with that, allowing Rey to grab a rollup for two. Dean yells so Saturn tags him back in on the chest. A big belly to back gets two for Malenko and it’s back to Saturn for some arrogant walking around in between offense. Saturn hits a spinning springboard forearm to the head for two more before nailing Kidman on the apron.

The always awesome gutbuster from Malenko sets up the Cloverleaf but Saturn tags himself in while the hold is on. Saturn’s top rope elbow scores but Malenko tags himself back in just like Saturn did. A superplex plants Rey but Dean is so shaken up that he has to tag out. Kidman comes back in and cleans house, including throwing Rey into the air for a hurricanrana on Saturn. Everything breaks down and Shane breaks up the Shooting Star, throwing Saturn the chain in the process. A big knockout shot is enough to pin Kidman.

Rating: B-. Fun match with a lot of story development in it, but that doesn’t mean the story development is interesting. I’m really not a fan of having the Revolution implode and fight each other, because it’s going right back to the same idea that we’ve done for years now without anyone getting up the ladder. Benoit is to an extent, but everyone else is just stuck in the midcard while Sid powerbombs people and Rick Steiner exists for reasons that aren’t exactly clear.

Malenko puts the Revolution shirt on, sees the replay of the ending, and takes the shirt back off. He promises to be his own revolution from now on.

US Title: Sid Vicious vs. Van Hammer

Sid is defending if that wasn’t really clear. He stomps Hammer in the corner and stares at the fans for chanting Goldberg. Granted he stares blankly most of the time so you can’t really tell if he’s upset or not. Hammer trips him down and hits what looked like a low blow. That goes nowhere so Sid chokes away in the corner and slowly kicks again. We get a ref bump so Rick Steiner can come down for a cheap shot on Hammer, setting up a double powerbomb for the pin.

Rating: F. Van Hammer vs. Sid needs a ref bump??? I’m not the biggest Goldberg fan in the world but suggesting he and Sid are the same level is ridiculous. Sid is a fun character but as soon as that bell rings, all the fun goes away and it becomes clear that he should have retired about seven years ago.

Mike Tenay joins the commentary booth to talk about Bret vs. Benoit from last week.

Phantom of the Opera Dustin Rhodes puts his hand on the kid’s window and the kid’s eyes turn black. Of course they do.

Curt Hennig vs. Ric Flair

Remember when these two had a great match on Raw six and a half years ago? Well now Virgil is in Hennig’s corner and is named Curly Bill. Hennig dances around to start, earning him a slap in the face and a loud WOO. That’s very violent behavior reminiscent of a father wanting to avenge his son, who tried to destroy his life earlier in the year but that’s beside the point. More chops have Curt in trouble and they head outside. Hennig gets in some shots of his own and scores with a suplex back inside as we take a break.

Back with Flair chopping Curly on the floor. Jack Brisco, Harley Race, Dusty Rhodes, Sting, and CURLY! Hennig chops to take over and slams Flair off the top, but Ric casually takes out the knee and puts on the Figure Four. Hennig is right next to the ropes though so Flair pokes him in the eye and nails a belly to back suplex. Both guys are dazed but it’s Hennig up first and going after Flair’s knee. That goes nowhere though and they trade chops in the corner again with Hennig on the losing end.

Ric snaps Hennig’s neck across the top rope and goes after CURLY again, allowing Hennig to roll him up for two. That doesn’t work so Hennig puts his feet on the ropes for two more. Curly even holds Hennig’s feet for some more near falls. Somehow the referee, who is two feet away from Curly, sees NONE OF THIS. David Flair comes out to take out Curly (for the love of all things good and holy, do not let them have a match), allowing Ric to roll Hennig up for the pin with his feet on the ropes.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match but you expect more out of these two. Thankfully the Rednecks are becoming Curt and Pals instead of a normal stable, which makes their matches a lot easier to sit through. The Flairs being back together is a bit annoying but I’m much happier with the regular Ric instead of the insane boss.

Total Package/Rick Steiner vs. Chris Benoit/Bret Hart

Remember when Luger came back to save Sting from the Steiners and a big tag match was teased? Even better, remember their classic at the first SuperBrawl? It’s a brawl to start as I’m assuming Benoit vs. Steiner for the TV Title is happening at the pay per view. Hart beats up Luger on the floor and chases Liz off before sending Lex into the post. Rick has Benoit in trouble back in the ring and cranks on an armbar.

Bret rams Luger into the apron as Benoit grabs the Crossface on Rick, only to have Lex dive in for the save. Naturally Steiner no sells the pain from the hold and suplexes Benoit, but Bret clotheslines both Americans down to take over. Luger puts Bret in a full nelson so Steiner can hammer away but Benoit makes a save. The Swan Dive connects on Steiner but Sid comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Oh yeah Russo is starting to take over. This was your standard big brawl main event disguised as a match that didn’t even get four minutes from bell to bell. This match also exposes a major problem in WCW: the main event heels are horrible. You have Steiner and Sid who can’t do anything and Luger who can only do really basic power stuff, combined with Sting who doesn’t act like a heel whatsoever. Who am I supposed to boo without falling asleep?

Luger racks Bret but Goldberg comes out for the save. Sid tells Goldberg he can’t touch him or the match is off, so Goldberg spears him anyway to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. You can really taste the Russo effect, but it’s not in full force yet. This is that weird transition stage where he’s trying to breathe life into the stale angles WCW had going before he arrived and it makes for a very awkward mix. There’s some fresh blood in the stories, but the stories themselves are still pretty uninteresting. The wrestling is also getting worse, which is another sign of the age of Vinny Roo. Things will at least get more interesting once we hit the full Russo effect, but until then we’re in for some dull stuff.

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Thunder
Date: October 7, 1999
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 2,411
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

Back to this disaster again as it’s we’re still getting close to Halloween Havoc and the question this week is what can Goldberg do to Sid’s car now. Actually the question would be why is this the best they can come up with. Russo and Ferrara aren’t in charge at this point, so this might actually be the last taped event (save for Saturday Night with its insane schedule but who cares about that show at this point?) before they took over. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Dean Malenko vs. Blitzkrieg

Blitzkrieg has new attire. This could be interesting, especially if Malenko stretches him for doing too many ridiculous flips. Malenko easily takes him down to start and they trade some hammerlocks. Dean slaps on a front chancery followed by a quickly broken surfboard. Total wrestling clinic from Malenko so far. Back up again and Blitzkrieg tries to jump over Dean and gets dropped face first onto the mat for his efforts.

Dean stomps away in the corner but Blitzkrieg gets up and does an unnecessary backflip out of the corner, followed by a more necessary running dropkick in the same corner. A moonsault sets up a chinlock on Dean but he pops back up and drives a knee into the masked ribs. Well the ribs of the masked man. No one would put a mask on the ribs, though I have seen a claw onto the ribs.

Dean scores with a suplex for some two counts before cranking on the knee like you would expect from a submission specialist. Can you really call him that when he only uses one hold 95% of the time? He stomps away at the leg before hitting a nice gutbuster for two. Blitzkrieg doesn’t sell the leg so Malenko suplexes him over the top and out to the floor as the announcers talk about the Outsiders on Nitro.

Blitzkrieg sends him into the barricade and hits a big twisting dive over the top for a nice looking crash. Back in and the masked man slips, which is about as good as we’re going to get for selling. Malenko plants him with a top rope belly to back superplex, followed by a quick pinfall reversal sequence. A wicked tiger bomb sets up the Cloverleaf to give Malenko the win.

Rating: C. There’s something so fun about a technician like Malenko throwing around a high flier like Blitzkrieg, especially when it seems like Dean is annoyed at a lot of the no selling of the leg. I mean, the guy can’t even limp a bit before he does the dives? Not a bad match here, but it’s nice to see Dean win whenever he’s not losing to people who don’t deserve the push they’re getting.

We run down the card for Halloween Havoc. That show is going to hurt.

Quick look at Disco Inferno winning the Cruiserweight Title again on Monday.

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Evan Karagias

Disco’s entrance is edited out because he wasn’t Cruiserweight Champion when this was taped. The champ cranks on the arm to start but Evan trips him up and works on the arm as well. A pair of dropkicks send Disco to the floor before he comes back in for another armbar. We could have had Psychosis doing some nice dives or Malenko using 37 varieties of an armbar, but instead we get Disco who uses a total of one kind.

Disco’s backdrop is countered with a simple shove to the mat because this match can’t get past second gear. Evan rains down right hands in the corner but gets sent out to the floor. More whips into various steel objects get two for the champ. Now we get to the interesting stretch of the match as Disco suplexes Evan, then suplexes him again, then can’t hit the third attempt.

A double clothesline puts both guys down before Evan gets up with some right hands and a slam. Evan goes to the apron for a springboard cross body for two more, followed by a powerslam for the same. His attempt at a headscissors is countered though and Disco hits the Last Dance to retain.

Rating: D+. The match isn’t bad from a technical standpoint but my goodness Disco isn’t going to work in this spot. Yeah he can have some acceptable matches, but after watching Malenko earlier tonight, it’s really hard to sit through Inferno defending the title against someone like Evan Karagias.

Just to show how dense WCW is, they show Disco’s entrance after the match, showing that he doesn’t have the belt and completely defeating the purpose of not showing it in the first place.

Bret Hart is proud of his match with Benoit on Monday.

Clip of Brad Armstrong telling Berlyn to speak English in America. This is making me long for the days of Jim Duggan vs. Boris Zhukov.

Brad Armstrong vs. Chris Adams

England is evil now? This would have been a very fun back in say….1987. The fans chant USA as Adams takes him up against the ropes for a cheap shot. They do it again but Armstrong ducks a second cheap shot. Score one for the United States school system. An armdrag sends Adams to the floor before he comes back in to trade wristlocks. Is there a ban on working ANYTHING other than the arm, or did Blitzkrieg’s no selling scare everyone off?

Adams throws him to the floor and stomps away outside. Back in and Adams hits a top rope clothesline, followed by a variety of suplexes. He misses a top rope knee drop but avoids a charge and hits the superkick for two. Brad avoids a charge of his own and hits the Russian (some American hero) legsweep for the pin.

Rating: D. They expect to put Berlyn vs. Brad Armstrong on pay per view and have people pay for it? That’s really the best lower card match they can find? You know who won’t be on the card at Halloween Havoc? Dean Malenko. Dump Berlyn and let Armstrong have a match against Dean if nothing else. No it won’t be the interesting build in the world, but at least the match will be entertaining. Armstrong is still decent in the ring but my goodness they’re not giving him much to work with at the pay per view. Adams is way past his prime here at 44 years old but he still has a decent superkick.

TV Title: Chris Benoit vs. Brian Knobbs

Benoit is defending because Heaven help us if Knobbs ever got a singles title. Brian talks trash on the floor as Jimmy Hart has to tell him to get in the ring. This is like that angle where Bobby Heenan had to give Terry Taylor specific instructions on everything to make him win but without the angle part. He finally gets in and they shove each other a bit before Benoit just fires off right hands, likely at frustration for having to fight someone like Knobbs, and dropkicks him out to the floor.

After about 45 seconds of stalling and not even a single count from the referee, we actually continue the match. Back in and Benoit blocks a charge by raising his boots but runs into a powerslam. Some right hands send Brian back to the floor but he blocks a baseball slide and throws Benoit into the steps. They head into the crowd as referee Nick Patrick argues with Jimmy Hart.

This show seems to be in a ventriloquist convention as the fans sound like they’re going nuts but they appear to just be sitting there. Amazing how Smackdown and Thunder crowds always go that way. They fight up towards the chairs (minus the fans in them) and we take a break. Back with nothing having changed and no reason to believe the referee has even started counting. If you want to have a hardcore match then have a hardcore match. Just say that’s what it is so the fans don’t get confused by the referee’s lack of actions.

They go back to ringside with Benoit being sent into the steps twice in a row. Knobbs chokes a lot and throws a chair at Benoit but the champ wins a slugout and takes it back inside for a nice change of pace. The Swan Dive misses though and Brian covers for two before using his usual lame offense. Knobbs elbows out of a German suplex attempt but Benoit goes into Wolverine mode and hits back to back Germans. Since WE MUST PROTECT BRIAN KNOBBS, Jimmy Hart breaks it up at two and we have a ref bump. Hart accidentally nails his man with the megaphone though, allowing Benoit to hit the Swan Dive to retain.

Rating: D+. Benoit is great, but there’s a firm limit to what he’s capable of doing and we found it with this match. Who in the world can carry Brian Knobbs to a ten minute match without the use of weapons for a crutch? This is another case where there had to be someone else capable of having a better match. Even Hugh Morrus would have been miles ahead of Knobbs here, but Morrus isn’t friends with the right people. Who was going to stick around with this show to see Brian Knobbs get a title shot?

Lash Leroux vs. Silver King

King grabs him to start but gets taken down in an armbar. Some right hands and a clothesline have King in trouble but he sees Lash duck his head and takes him down with a tornado DDT for two. In a bad looking botch, Silver King moonsaults onto Lash’s head for another near fall. Thankfully Lash doesn’t seem to badly messed up but that looked scary.

Lash comes back with a headscissors but his hurricanrana is countered into a good looking superbomb. We hit the chinlock but King throws in some gnawing at the head to keep it interesting. Lash fights to his feet and goes up top, only to dive into a right hand to the ribs. After an unnecessary trip to the floor, Lash escapes a powerbomb attempt and hits Whiplash for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but this was the lower end of the cruiserweight division. Leroux wasn’t bad but he needed to do something besides just be a Cajun. There wasn’t anything to this one other than Silver King’s powerbomb and biting at Lash’s head. Why didn’t Silver King win here again?

Bret still really liked that match on Monday.

Death of Lex Luger video.

Maestro vs. Dale Torborg

Torborg is…..the love child of Sting and Knuckleball Schwartz. Baseball jersey with MVP written on the chest, baseball pants with pinstripes, and red and black facepaint and gloves. There’s no other way to describe him. Maestro armdrags him down a few times before cranking on the arm. That’s not exactly how you want someone who looks like Torborg to have their first match in a new gimmick. Torborg kicks him in the back and drives in some elbows for good measure, only to get caught in a belly to back suplex.

Something like Steve Austin’s flip off elbow gets two for Maestro but a Rock Bottom gives Torborg the quick pin. What an odd match and I’m assuming Maestro is a good guy after the way he was going out there. Just bizarre though as both guys were making their in ring debut (at least in these characters as Torborg had a match on Nitro earlier in the year) and Maestro went from a grand entrance to easily losing a match.

Road report. These aren’t as good without Lee Marshall, and that’s REALLY not saying much.

Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman vs. Disorderly Conduct

Disorderly Conduct cheat to start (well that certainly is disorderly) and get dropkicked to the floor where the Animals hit stereo dives to take them down. We settle down to Kidman beating up Mike in the ring. Tom comes in and gets the same treatment, meaning Kidman is running out of tricks. He gets a bit more complicated though by headscissorsing Mike and headlocking Tom at the same time.

Rey comes in with a Lionsault for two on Mike before it’s off to Tom who can’t powerbomb Mysterio. Does being Kidman’s partner mean you get to share his powers? Tom finally hits a kind of reverse powerbomb on Mysterio to take over with a lot of stomping keeping him in trouble. An Earthquake style powerslam plants Rey and we take a break. Back with Tom tilt-a-whirl slamming Mysterio for two as the themed jobbers keep up the double teaming. A top rope ax handle to the head gets two for Tom.

Mike distracts the referee so Rey’s small package only gets two so it’s back to the double teaming, including an ax handle to help Mike’s neckbreaker. Off to the chinlockery portion of the match with Tom hooking two of them in a row. That’s quite the feat. Back to Mike for a slam but he misses a top rope elbow. The hot tag brings in Kidman for a BK Bomb to Tom as everything breaks down. Kidman puts Tom up top and launches Rey into the super hurricanrana (that always looks cool) for the pin with Kidman baseball sliding Mike just in case.

Rating: C. Take two power heels and put them against two high flying good guys and you’re almost always guaranteed to have a passable match. This is a formula as old as professional wrestling itself and it will still work to this day. Power vs. speed is one of the most basic matchups you can see and Kidman and Mysterio were as good of a combination as there was at this point.

From Monday, Bret Hart talks about how special that match with Benoit was. You can see how important this really is to him and it’s always good to see Hart a happy man.

US Title: Stevie Ray vs. Sid Vicious

It’s about time Sid defended that thing. Believe it or not, this actually has a story behind it as Sid and Steiner attacked Stevie a few weeks back so Stevie wants revenge. That’s better continuity than WCW has shown in months. Ray jumps him on the apron and clotheslines Sid out to the floor.

A few whips send the champ into the barricade and Stevie slams him down on the floor. I don’t know what’s gotten into Sid recently but this is the second match in a row where he’s actually sold something. Therefore, here’s Rick Steiner to hammer Stevie from behind as referee Charles Robinson stops to tie his shoes. Back in and Sid only gets two off Steiner’s attack so he beats on Stevie to relieve that tension.

Ray comes back with right hands but Steiner trips him up one more time and a legdrop to the back of the head gets two for Sid. We hit the worst chinlock ever (a record Sid breaks twice a week) as Sid LAYS DOWN while barely cranking on Stevie’s neck. Stevie fights up but eats a forearm from Steiner. Somehow he’s able to backdrop his way out of the powerbomb, but the referee stops to tie his shoe for the second time. The Steiner Bulldog and a double powerbomb is enough to make Sid 128-0, after he was 120-0 on Nitro.

Rating: D+. Maybe it’s the wrestling version of Stockholm Syndrome, but these Sid disasters are starting to turn into something resembling tolerable. No they’re not good matches or anything really resembling such, but they’re at least they get in and get out without making things too stupid. They have an idea now, even though it doesn’t seem likely to go anywhere.

Overall Rating: D. This is a tricky show to grade as the wrestling wasn’t the worst in the world, but the lack of star power REALLY hurt things. I can tolerate low name guys if the matches are really good, but that just wasn’t the case here. You need someone to invest in and Brad Armstrong just doesn’t fill that role for fighting a German who is more annoying than bad.

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Monday Nitro #207
Date: September 27, 1999
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 11,919
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

It’s time to continue into this downward spiral that Nitro has become. Tonight they have a major six man tag with Hogan/Hart/Flair teaming up to face Luger/Sting/Page. Keep that in mind. This is one of the few times that the show has set up a major match a week in advance and actually hyped it up. I’ll come back to that later. Let’s get to it.

We open with Hogan arriving in a limo to sign autographs for fans. Sting sneaks up on him and speaks in a kid’s voice for a distraction. Hogan, ever the genius, falls for it and gets hit in the knee with the ball bat. They’re changing the main event aren’t they?

Quick recap of last week’s major events.

The announcers preview the show and oh man Heenan does not sound good. This could be a long night.

Tenay tries to talk to Hogan but Hulk gets inside anyway.

Sting says he isn’t done with Hogan tonight.

Before the first match, Heenan goes on a RANT, ripping into WCW for being a mess and telling him how to talk. From now on the Brain is back and he isn’t putting up with this nonsense. That’s quite out of nowhere.

TV Title: Ernest Miller vs. Chris Benoit

The ring looks WAY bigger tonight for some reason. Like bigger than a modern WWE ring. Cat is challenging after asking for a title shot and doing his usual schtick. Benoit chops away to start and Miller immediately bails to the floor. Back in and Chris misses a charge into the corner and things slow down. Miller has “Godfather” on his tights. I would make a joke about that being a lawsuit but it probably was at this point. More kicking and choking ensues as Miller is rapidly running out of offense to go through. A sunset flip gets two for the champ but he walks into another superkick.

For a change of pace, Sonny gets in some kicks on the floor. The lack of Revolution backup tells you all you need to know about Miller and Onoo’s standings. Back in and Benoit ducks the Feliner and scores with a clothesline, only to have Sonny try a choke. Even the referee doesn’t think enough of Miller to make it a DQ. Miller’s loaded shoe kicks Onoo by mistake and it’s the German suplex followed by the Swan Dive and Crossface to retain the title.

Rating: D+. It’s nice to see Benoit get a win and for the TV Title to be defended as it was intended to be for years. Miller losing is always a fun thing to see, which really does make him decent as a heel. Yeah he’s annoying and limited in the ring, but the point of a heel is to see them get what’s coming to them, and that’s what you saw here. Nothing great but an acceptable match that the fans could get into.

Sid has chokeslammed and powerbombed a lot of people.

Vampiro vs. Buff Bagwell

Thank goodness the Clowns are gone. Buff, now minus the mustache, takes a kick to the face early on and Vampiro stomps away a lot. In the vein of Ernest Miller, Vampiro goes up top for a kick this time to really vary up his offense. Bagwell finally starts going with a monkey flip before nailing him with a clothesline. Vampiro’s hurricanrana is countered with a powerbomb and they head outside with Vampiro sending him into the steps.

A chinlock goes nowhere as Heenan rips into Bagwell for the new facial hair. Buff fights up but walks into the Nail in the Coffin, which is just a regular move now. Vampiro misses a guillotine legdrop and Buff starts his comeback, only to walk into an enziguri. They head to the corner for a superplex but Buff shoves him off and hits the Blockbuster for the pin. So NOW Buff’s face push starts and will take him up the card right?

Rating: D. These lower midcard matches are death for Nitro. There’s no reason for them to be taking place, they don’t go anywhere, and the best part about them are Heenan’s rants about how stupid so much of this stuff is. That being said, I’ll take this a hundred times in a row over the Clowns in the ring again.

The announcers talk about Goldberg for a bit and we hear a voice (which sounds quite a bit like Dustin Rhodes) call out to Tony. There’s a window shown and the voice says the darkness is coming. Well if the best it can do is go after Tony Schiavone, it won’t be lasting long.

And now, to a funeral parlor for the funeral of Lex Luger. As in the guy in the main event tonight. He’s laying in a casket but his ghost appears to describe himself as a great man and a great champion. We cut to a cemetery and a woman in black, presumably Elizabeth, throws flowers into a grave. It’s off to the arena with the woman in black being revealed as Elizabeth of course. She comes to the ring to reveal Lex Luger, who is officially renamed as the Total Package. Same guy and the same gear, but now he doesn’t have wrist tape. Literally, identical other than the tape.

Hogan is having his knee looked at when Sting comes in and nails him with the bat again.

Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Douglas tells Dean to take care of this guy but Dean doesn’t want “his kind of help”. Saturn and Benoit are cool with this decision and leave but Shane gives a look that says “well screw you then.” Mysterio sends the Animals to the back and we get a one on one match. They start fast as you would expect by trading shoulders and armdrags into a standoff for one of the best exchanges WCW has had in months.

Malenko is sent to the apron and they head up top for a crash out to the floor. Back in and Rey escapes a reverse suplex into a rollup for two but his springboard hurricanrana attempt is countered in a big sitout powerbomb. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two and the Cloverleaf goes on, but we need to watch Rick Steiner and Sid arrive. Mysterio gets to the ropes and grabs a crucifix for the fast pin before Sid can come out and ruin another good match.

Rating: B-. Of course this match doesn’t get any time because we need to see Hogan getting hit in the knee again because once wasn’t enough. Again, when you just have the talented wrestlers wrestling, the show gets so much easier to sit through. I could have watched another ten minutes of this but that’s simply not allowed in WCW.

Malenko shakes his hand post match and leaves as a good sport.

Goldberg vs. Hugh Morrus

Time for an anniversary match. After the full on entrance, Goldberg busts out a very good looking dropkick and a superkick to send Morrus out to the floor. A hard whip sends Morrus into the steps and Goldberg takes him back inside for a powerslam. Heenan continues to be a huge Goldberg fan, even now that the filter is off. Jimmy tries to offer a distraction and Hugh sends Goldberg outside, allowing Sid to sneak in for a chair shot to the back.

A top rope elbow gets two for Morrus but he’s a bit shaken up from the impact. Stomping and choking ensues as Goldberg’s leg is bleeding. Morrus slams Goldberg to quickly stop a comeback bid and loads up No Laughing Matter. In a repeat of Goldberg’s first match, he kicks out at two and hits the usual for the pin.

Rating: C. This was far better than I was expecting, even though it wasn’t all that great of a match. The Sid stuff is already old but at least they’re pointing at something instead of just having him beat up random luchadors. Morrus was good for a decent match when he needed to pull one off, which is why he wound up with his upcoming punny name.

Goldberg wants Sid.

An ambulance leaves the arena, presumably with Hogan inside.

More Nitro Girls Search stuff with good looking women who still aren’t Stacy Keibler.

Evan Karagias vs. Berlyn

Penzer reminds us that the fans are not to make any noise during Berlyn’s match. You can tell Bischoff isn’t in Tony’s ear as he points out that demanding something means Berlyn doesn’t get what he wants. Berlyn hammers away in the corner but Evan comes back with some generic cruiserweight style offense.

The evil German hides away but pokes Evan in the eye and slugs him down even more. A running knee and nice overhead belly to belly have Karagias in trouble but he’s still able to crotch Berlyn on the top. Evan hits a high cross body for two as the announcers keep focusing on the bodyguard. Said bodyguard nails Evan in the back, allowing his boss to get the win with a neckbreaker.

Rating: D. Berlyn is going absolutely nowhere and it’s pretty clear that they’re shifting the focus over to the bodyguard instead. I can’t say I blame them as he at least has an intimidating look and could cause some damage. Other than that though, there isn’t much to get fired up about for either guy as Berlyn is just horribly boring in the ring.

Berlyn goes after Evan again post match but Brad Armstrong makes the save, only to get beaten down as well. I like Armstrong, but he’s the clearest sign possible that Berlyn is done.

Goldberg breaks into Sid’s locker room and steals his keys from an attendant.

David Flair can’t find Torrie.

Tag Team Titles; Harlem Heat vs. Kendall Windham/Barry Windham

The Windhams are challenging for Heaven knows what reason. Tony continues to screw up continuity by saying Booker was a multi sport athlete in high school. This goes against Tenay’s often repeated line about Booker only being in the marching band. Somehow I have a feeling I’m the only person to pick up on that. Booker superkicks Kendall to start and hammers him down with ease. It’s almost like one guy is a Hall of Famer and the other guy is there because he has a famous brother.

Off to Barry vs. Stevie with the latter in control as we take an early break. Back with Hennig working over Booker on the floor before throwing him in for a beating from Kendall. A DDT drops Booker and everything quickly breaks down. In the melee, Stevie hits Kendall in the knee with a title belt behind Booker’s back, giving T. the pin.

Rating: D+. These teams have fought so many times that there’s nothing left for them to do. As I’ve said before, there are so many teams around WCW but this is the only combination we ever get. A simple change of pace on the booking staff could do wonders for this company, which we’re inching towards every single day. Whether that’s a good thing or not is yet to be determined.

Goldberg calls a towing company. Your top star of the future ladies and gentlemen.

Rick Steiner vs. Van Hammer

This was supposed to be Hammer getting a US Title shot but Sid must be afraid of vengeance from Slamboree 1993. Rick Steinerlines him to the floor and Rick laughs as he beats the tar out of Hammer. Back in and Hammer keeps getting beaten up before grabbing a quick Flashback for his first offense. Charles Robinson breaks up the cobra clutch slam because Heaven forbid Rick Steiner have to look bad for more than ten seconds. Steiner tells Robinson to look the other way so he can kick Hammer low, setting up the Bulldog for the pin.

Rating: F. So in other words, WCW built up a match (kind of) for the US Title but instead of giving us something that might involve a new guy getting into the title picture, we got ANOTHER Rick Steiner squash that no one wants to see. What in the world does anyone see in this guy that makes them want to push him down our throats as more and more people change the channel?

Here’s Bret for a chat. He got hit by a ball bat a few weeks ago but he’s just a little banged up. He’s back in the ring and thinks Hulk Hogan is the Elvis of wrestling. Seriously? I don’t really disagree with the statement but it’s not something Bret would ever say. Cue Flair, who Bret immediately praises as well. That’s not quite as much of a stretch but still doesn’t fit. Flair says they need to take care of Sting/Luger/Page tonight and takes off the jacket to pose. He’ll ride Liz too if she gets involved. I can’t say I blame him after how she looked earlier.

Heenan talks about the mask vs. hair match tonight and says no one cares if Kidman is bald.

Torrie is in the Filthy Animals’ locker room when David calls her. He doesn’t like the other male voices and hangs up. Dude, you had her for like six months. Go out on that high note because you knew it wasn’t going to last forever.

Sid is told Goldberg stole his car keys.

Perry Saturn vs. Konnan

Konnan hiptosses him down but gets caught in an armbar for his efforts. A superkick staggers Konnan but he blocks a suplex attempt. That’s some of the hardest work I’ve seen Konnan do in years. The rolling clothesline is countered into a Tazzplex and it’s back to the armbar, sending Konnan into the ropes. Who would think a match between two bald guys could be this watchable? Back up and a double clothesline puts both guys down as we take a break.

We come back with Saturn cranking on the arm again, sending Konnan right back to the ropes. A top rope elbow gets two for Saturn but Konnan grabs a powerbomb out of nowhere for the same. They head back to the corner with Konnan hitting something like a reverse Razor’s Edge, setting up his usual finishing sequence. Cue a bunch of luchadors and the Filthy Animals for a big brawl to throw the match out.

Rating: C+. The match was far better than I was expecting but the run-in finish hurt things as usual. Who would have thought Konnan could keep up with someone like Saturn though? That’s quite the surprise and a flashback to when Konnan actually could work a decent match. I’d assume this ties into the mask vs. hair match later but given that it’s WCW I doubt they’ve thought it that far through.

Sid goes to his car but doesn’t find the keys. He heads back inside as the tow truck arrives.

Post break, the tow truck pulls the car away.

Here’s Page for a chat. Page says he’s married to the most beautiful woman in the world and that’s why the people hate him. He mentions Luger being gone and the Total Package taking his place, only to call him Luger a few seconds later.

Various celebrities are here, including one of the members of ZZ Top.

Quick recap of Psychosis vs. Kidman in the mask vs. hair match which was thrown together by Chavo Guerrero.

Kidman vs. Psychosis

Hair vs. mask and Psychosis has Juventud and Chavo in his corner. Psychosis hammers away on him to start and they’re quickly on the floor. The outside stuff goes nowhere so they head back inside where Kidman scores with dropkicks. Psychosis sends him right back outside for a slingshot moonsault but Kidman goes for his mask. That’s not the nicest thing in the world to do and pretty out of character for Kidman.

The referee yells at him, allowing Psychosis to get two off a DDT. A dropkick to the side of the head has Kidman in even more trouble and a top rope hurricanrana gets two. The other luchadors get in some cheap shots on Kidman on the floor, setting up a top rope spinwheel kick for another two count. Kidman misses a dropkick but grabs a quick sunset flip. They head to the corner with Psychosis hitting a sitout gordbuster to drop Kidman again but we still don’t have a bald guy yet.

Kidman comes back with a powerslam and loads up the Shooting Star, only to have Juventud pulls Psychosis to the floor. Chavo plants Kidman with a tornado DDT for two and Juvy sneaks in with a Juvy Driver for an even closer two. Psychosis is so stunned that he thinks he can powerbomb Kidman. The Filthy Animals come out to take care of the luchadors, allowing the Shooting Star to get rid of the mask and blow the roof off the place. That’s kind of a surprising reaction.

Rating: B+. Again, give two talented guys ten minutes to work and let them fly all over the ring before soaking in a great reaction from the crowd. This will of course be followed by the fans not caring about the main event because of whatever reason you care to pick for this show. This was a really fun and fast paced match though with some great near falls.

Kidman quickly rips the mask off and there’s a huge brawl.

Sting, Luger and Page are coming to the ring. Luger stops dead and starts chuckling until Page says the red light is still on and Luger keeps walking. Just……yeah.

Bret Hart/Ric Flair vs. Sting/Total Package/Diamond Dallas Page

Because this show clearly has enough power to pull a bait and switch. Sting shoulders Flair down to start before hitting a gorilla press. Just like last week, if you watched this match as a stand alone, you would never know Sting had recently turned. Flair avoids a Stinger Splash so it’s off to Luger vs. Hart. The Canadian takes over as Heenan makes more jokes that don’t make sense.

Bret starts up the Five Moves but Page breaks up the Sharpshooter before it can do much. Everything breaks down for a bit with Sting nailing a running clothesline. Tony brings up Liz sending an official memo to the announcers, forbidding them from calling her man Luger. It’s a shame he doesn’t bring up Bret injuring all three guys last year because that might make things more interesting.

Luger chokes Bret in the corner before Sting draws in Flair, allowing Hart to get double teamed. A double clothesline puts Sting and Hart down and it’s a hot tag to bring in Flair. It quickly settles down to Flair suplexing Sting and going for the leg. Hart takes out Page and Luger but Kimberly sneaks Luger the ball bat which nails Flair for the DQ.

Rating: D. Totally standard tag match which wasn’t even advertised because WCW is so much better than WWF about giving what they advertise. Remember when that was Tony’s big talking point every week? Nothing to see here as this was more running around in circles before the “money” matches at the pay per view. Just more dull stuff here that didn’t advance anything.

David Flair runs in and gets beaten down. We cut to the back where we see an empty ambulance and Hogan limps out as his partners and David are destroyed. Hogan cleans house, gets the bat, and sends the villains running. Screw off WCW. Seriously, it’s 1999 and Hogan is still destroying everyone while Flair and Hart look like mere mortals. Was there ANY reason to not have Hogan in this match?

Sid goes to his car…..and it’s been completely crushed. He shouts for Goldberg as we go off the air and I shout about why Sid was actually in the arena despite having nothing to do tonight.

Overall Rating: C. There are some very good moments on this show but the bad ones drag it back down to reality. The same problems continue to plague this show: a main event with no heat and Goldberg being wasted on a feud people don’t really want to see while Rick Steiner suddenly has match making power and gets to pick who he beats up in the ring without ever selling for more than five seconds. Two of the three big matches being changed didn’t help either, which brings me back to something I brought up at the beginning.

So with the big main event match announced in advance, here are the final ratings for the shows this week. Monday Night Raw: 6.8. Monday Nitro: 3.0. To put this in perspective, back on Christmas night 1995, Raw only beat Nitro by 2.5. On that night, Nitro wasn’t on television. From what I can tell, this is the second largest margin when both shows were on in their regular time slots in the entirety of the Wars so far. Of note, the only time that beat it was built around the return of Hulk Hogan. Somehow, neither week taught WCW a thing and that’s a bit reason why you don’t see Nitro every Monday night.

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Monday Nitro #205
Date: September 13, 1999
Location: Dean Smith Center, Chapel Hill, North Carolinas
Attendance: 5,571
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

It’s the night after Fall Brawl and again I’m convinced WCW has hit rock bottom. The Revolution got swept last night and Sting turned heel to win the World Title, despite the fans sounding pleased with the results. We’re now a month away from Halloween Havoc and it’s time to see how Nitro goes without Bischoff running things behind the scenes. Let’s get to it.

Things are already looking up on this show as we look back at last week with Hart challenging Hogan and all the Hogan/Sting/Luger shenanigans.

Nitro Girls.

Quick recap of last night. That’s the best way to do it if you absolutely must.

Recap of Benoit and Malenko having a good match for a World Title shot tonight until Sid interfered to give us a good old fashioned bait and switch.

Chris Benoit vs. Dean Malenko

Rematch with the same stipulations as last week with Saturn and Douglas at ringside. Feeling out process to start as they fight over a hammerlock. Benoit scores with an enziguri but can’t hook a dragon suplex. Instead Dean nails him with an elbow tot he jaw but they both fall out to the floor. Mostly even match so far. Saturn and Douglas don’t let it turn into a brawl as Tony is talking about Sting, which actually ties into this match. You can tell Bischoff isn’t in his ear this week.

Dean takes over with a short arm scissors back inside but Benoit powers out and drops Dean for two. Malenko avoids a dropkick and goes for the leg but Benoit is right next to the ropes. Benoit misses a charge in the corner but catches Dean taking way too long to get up top, setting up a top rope superplex to put both guys down.

A double clothesline gives us a double cover before we hit a very crisp pinfall reversal sequence. Benoit starts rolling Germans but Dean counters into a rollup for two. That’s enough for Benoit as he hooks a belly to back and slits the throat, only to get caught on top for another superplex, but Benoit hooks Dean’s leg on the way down and ties the legs together into a small package for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B+. That might be high but this is the best match WCW has had probably in months. It wasn’t even ten minutes long but they packed stuff into this match with both guys getting to look great. There’s a great story in here with Benoit trying to use suplexes and throws while Dean wanted to break Benoit down by going for body parts but kept getting in trouble when he went out of his comfort zone, namely whenever he went to the top. At the end of the day, there is no substitute for a really good wrestling match and that’s exactly what you got here.

All four members of the team gets in to hug post match.

Gene is in the ring and brings back Ric Flair as he returns in the Carolinas again. They’re already about 10,000x better than what we got last night. I wonder how much of a difference the lack of Bischoff makes as there’s a good chance he booked the PPV before leaving and this is the first real show without him.

Ric is back in face mode and sucks up to the crowd, who of course love him like free beer in a frat house. Flair alludes to being free (of Bischoff I’d assume) before talk turns to Sting and Luger. He doesn’t approve of how Sting won the title. I’ll let you pause to laugh at that for a minute. This brings the two of them out to say it’s their time now, meaning it’s time for Flair to go because they’ve been held back long enough. Somehow they’re onto something as they’ve combined for eleven World Titles and Flair has I think fourteen at this point?

Ric says they have to to earn their spots, which you would think they did years ago but Flair has always had some issues with reality. Luger and Sting deck Flair and put him in their respective submissions, drawing out Hart and Hogan for the save. Hogan sets up the tag match for later, which he’s doing for Flair. You know, for all those great moments they’ve had together earlier this year.

After a break, Luger and Sting laugh because Luger doesn’t have medical clearance or any gear. Sting not mentioning facing Benoit later scares me.

Berlyn’s entourage arrives.

DJ Ran throws it to Riki Rachman to show us last week’s winner in the Nitro Girls competition and introduce this week’s finalists. None of them are Stacy Keibler so we’ll move on.

JJ Dillon is on the phone with a doctor in Florida and finds out that Luger has been cleared for three weeks. My what convenient timing for him to finally look into that.

Stills of Benoit vs. Sid from last night. The faster we move on from this the better a lot of people will be.

Erik Watts vs. Disco Inferno

Someone explain to me why WCW keeps Watts on the payroll. They must owe Bill a favor of some kind. Erik “Let me show you my dropkick” Watts hammers away to start but gets armdragged and hiptossed, setting up dance time. He stomps Watts down in the corner but misses a charge, allowing Watts to powerslam him into the corner. Think the Oklahoma Stampede minus the followup powerslam.

Watts stays on the ribs but Disco counters a Russian legsweep into one of his own, even though it’s pretty much the same move either way. The middle rope elbow misses though and DEAR GOODNESS TURN DOWN THE CROWD NOISE! The fans suddenly go from silent to losing their minds in the span of half a second as we go split screen to show Sid. Disco hits the Last Dance for the pin a second later.

Rating: D-. That powerslam wasn’t bad but the audio going nuts was the most entertaining part of the match. Disco really deserves something better than this. Even a low level tag team or something like that would be nice for him. Instead he’s stuck in these lame matches and about to get powerbombed in half by Sid.

Of course that’s exactly what happens, plus Sid rambling on about not putting up with trash like this, or with Goldberg for that matter. Charles Robinson was holding the signs as Sid is now at 82-0 and got to wear the US Title. Somehow, it kind of suits him.

Silver King vs. Norman Smiley

Norman shoves him around to start but takes a quick enziguri (a popular move tonight) and a quick flip splash. King sends Norman outside and teases a dive which looks so horrible that Smiley doesn’t even bother to move. Back in and Smiley busts out the Big Wiggle but has to hit a wheelbarrow slam, followed by the spinning slam. Not that any of it matters though as Sid comes in for the no contest.

Chokeslams and double pins make Sid 84-0.

We recap the horrid Berlyn vs. Duggan match from Sunday.

Steve Regal/Dave Taylor vs. Barry Windham/Kendall Windham

Regal runs over Kendall with ease to start and takes him to the mat for a well needed wrestling lesson. A front facelock has Kendall in trouble and Regal goes behind him to throw Kendall around a bit. Off to Barry and the gut of doom before Taylor comes in for a European uppercut. The Windhams take Taylor into the corner for a double teaming with the Windhams moving at top speed. Well top speed for them at least, which is slow motion for most other teams.

Taylor finally rolls away, somehow countering the Windham’s lightning quick offense to make the tag to Regal. Steve comes in with those pretty lame left hands of his and a Regal Cutter to Barry as everything breaks down. Taylor hooks Barry in a leg lock but Kendall makes the quick save. The referee goes after Taylor, allowing Hennig to hit Regal with the cowbell to give Barry the pin.

Rating: D. The Windhams need to get away from my screen as soon as possible. They’re not interesting, they’re not good in the ring, they’re not really in shape and they’re not losing like they should be. The Brits are a decent heel team and could actually have a nice match if given the chance, but here they are jobbing to the Windhams, who still aren’t over after losing the titles a day earlier.

Back from a break with Jerry Flynn in the ring but Goldberg is shown coming to the ring with security while wearing street clothes. Goldberg comes down to the ring and passes Prince Iaukea, who seems to be Flynn’s scheduled opponent. THANK YOU BILL! Goldberg isn’t pleased with Sid’s comments earlier and would like to challenge him to a match. That’s the cleaned up version of course. We cut to Sid in the back where again his audio is so low that I can’t hear a thing he says. He picks up a bag and leaves as Goldberg is still in the ring. Flynn complains and I think you can guess what happens.

Stills of the Tag Team Title match last night.

Harlem Heat vs. First Family

So we had Malenko and Douglas lose last night for a non-title match? The countdown is on for those guys. Ray and Morrus stall for a few moments to start before both guys shove each other around. Knobbs comes in for a double team attempt but Booker kicks him in the face to send us to a commercial. Back with all four fighting outside until it’s Morrus slamming Ray for two inside.

The Family hits back to back splashes in the corner but try a double clothesline and get run over for their efforts. At least Stevie is at the point where he can run at people and stick his arms out. I mean WCW praises the Clowns for doing it so they should praise Stevie too right? Booker comes in to fire some kicks at Knobbs but the Rednecks come back out to break up the missile dropkick for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad and they’re getting the idea of making the hot tag to someone who can actually use some speed. That being said, did Douglas and Malenko really just lose to the First Family to set up a loss to Harlem Heat the next night to continue the boring rivalry with the Rednecks? That’s what we really just did? The fact that it’s not the Clowns getting this feud is somehow the best news to come out of this.

Insane Clown Posse vs. Lenny Lane/Lodi

Oh this is going to hurt. Vampiro is hurting as well after a bunch of injuries to his head and eye after the match last night. Lodi is wearing an East Carolina University football jersey. Does he want a job in WWF (Vince went to school there if that made no sense)? A fan runs into the ring before the match but it turns out to be Tony Mamaluke, who has been following Lenny and Lodi recently. Heenan: “Take him out back and hang him.” When did Brain get so harsh?

J. does some bad looking hiptosses so Lenny starts prancing a bit. A gorilla press sends Lenny running on his knees to Lodi. The camera goes to Vampiro at ringside and thankfully he says there’s something more important going on and points to the ring. Shaggy hammers on Lodi and Stuns Lane across the top rope. A double suplex sends 2 Dope into the ropes as the fans are cheering for the Clowns. The brothers hit a knee lift into a legdrop for two on Shaggy but we get heel (?) miscommunication to allow the tag to J.

Tony and Heenan keep sucking up to the Clowns and say they deserve a Tag Team Title shot. My goodness ANYTHING but that. We get the spot where Lenny and Lodi are knocked into sexual positions before they plant Shaggy with a double DDT for two. The brothers load up a suplex/cross body combination but Lodi hits Lenny by mistake, allowing Shaggy to roll Lenny up for the pin on the Cruiserweight Champion.

Rating: F. A Clown just pinned a champion in what was supposed to set up Shaggy winning the title. Thankfully the Clowns wouldn’t wrestle again in WCW until August so this didn’t go anywhere, but my goodness. They’re treated like good guys, the announcers freak out over hip tosses, and they’re pinning a champion. Just….come on WCW. Even you should be better than this.

The Clowns want Kidman. That recruiting thing isn’t going to be mentioned again is it?

WCW World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Sting

Before the match, Benoit talks about Sid tapping out last night and the whole world saw it, but sometimes the calls don’t go your way. Instead of violins playing Sting to the ring, dogs are barking and Rick Steiner is here. Oh geez here we go. Rick says this isn’t Benoit’s night and for absolutely no adequately explained reason, this is happening instead of Benoit’s World Title shot.

TV Title: Chris Benoit vs. Rick Steiner

Steiner hammers away to start and knees Chris in the ribs. He plants Benoit with a powerslam as this is one sided so far. More beating in the corner ensues until Rick does that face grab of his. Steiner shoves the referee before they head outside with Benoit going into the barricade. Total and complete squash so far.

A belly to belly sets up more face ripping, followed by one of the most painful looking release German suplexes I’ve ever seen. Benoit landed right on the back of his head in a huge crash that made me cringe. It’s only good for two though so Steiner smacks the referee in the face, allowing Benoit to grab a bad looking rollup for the fast count and the pin for the title. Steiner clearly kicked out at about two and a half.

Rating: D-. This right here is the moment where it was clear WCW did not care about Chris Benoit. Yes he won the title but he had a total of some right hands at the beginning and a rollup with a fast count due to something Steiner did. This was all about Steiner and Benoit got squashed the entire time after having a great match earlier tonight because in WCW’s eyes, Steiner is more important than Benoit by definition. On top of that, there’s the whole missing World Title shot. Why stick around if you’re Benoit?

Post match, Steiner destroys Benoit until Malenko makes the save. Just in case you needed any more proof that Benoit is just a guy and might as well have been Prince Iaukea in WCW’s eyes.

Video on the Revolution. You know, those four guys that Steiner and Sid regularly beat up.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Perry Saturn

The Revolution and Filthy Animals are at ringside with Kidman looking to be in pajamas. Feeling out process to start with both guys trading attempts at holds until it’s Eddie grabbing a headlock. Saturn shoves him off and hits a big T-Bone before putting on a headlock of his own. Somehow both guys have already had as much or more offense than Benoit in the previous match.

Back up and Guerrero jumps on Saturn’s back for a sleeper as Tony takes way too long to get to a commercial. We come back with Saturn hitting a hard belly to back suplex but it seems to just fire Eddie up. Things speed WAY up with a sweet exchange of sleeper attempts and suplexes, all of which do little more than make me even angrier at Rick Steiner and Sid for getting pushed so hard.

Eddie gets T-Boned off the top but is still able to hot shot Saturn in the corner. The third T-Bone sends Eddie flying again and makes me think I’m watching a Taz match. The Death Valley Driver is countered though and Eddie plants him with a brainbuster. Eddie has to bail out of the Frog Splash but escapes another DVD attempt, setting up a solid pinfall reversal sequence. Saturn sits down on a headscissors attempt and gets a surprise pin.

Rating: B. Another awesome match here between two guys who can just get in a ring and go. Therefore, neither guy is going to get anywhere around here. This show has had some really good wrestling but also been some of the most frustrating stuff I’ve ever seen. Some combination of these guys could be tearing it up with Harlem Heat for the Tag Team Titles but we’re getting the Windhams and threats of the Clowns because WCW is that stupid.

The groups stare each other down and war is imminent. Why have them fight big names when you can just have them fight each other right?

Berlyn vs. Buff Bagwell

So he’ll skip the PPV (while still appearing to likely get a payday) but he’ll fight on TV where more people are watching? Again, WCW is stupid. The interpreter is back and goes to the commentary booth to make this even more painful. She starts speaking German and the voice is already annoying. Bagwell stalls to start as Tony actually calls this an anticipated match.

A nice dropkick puts Bagwell down and the German continues. Some clotheslines look to set up the Blockbuster but Buff gets crotched on top. The bodyguard gets yelled at as this match is already dragging. Berlyn gets two off a belly to back suplex and we hit the chinlock. The comeback sets up a top rope clothesline and some basic offense as Berlyn is knocked down in the corner. A hot shot sets up a punch from the bodyguard, giving Berlyn the three count.

Rating: D-. Gah this was dull and it barely broke five minutes. It was a short step better than the Duggan match but it’s clear that Berlyn isn’t going anywhere. The German chick got annoying the second she started talking and it didn’t make the match any better. On top of that, it’s clear that they’re going for the Shawn/Diesel formula with the bodyguard becoming the star, but Berlyn is as far from Shawn Michaels as I am from being Miss Nebraska 1973.

We get a long video on Sting posing the theory that Sting’s entire run as the crow was just there to set up his heel turn last night. It’s a cool video but this sounds like some nonsense about the moon landing being staged in a big studio somewhere. It doesn’t help that the video contains dialogue like this: “Perhaps Sting was driving the Hummer that attacked Kevin Nash. He was seen getting out of a Hummer a week later, remember?” They even bring up NWO Sting being part of Sting’s grand plan.

Sting/Lex Luger vs. Bret Hart/Hulk Hogan

Luger is in street clothes and it’s a brawl to start. Hogan and Sting get inside with Hulk destroying the champ with all the right hands he can throw. Bret comes in for right hands of his own as Luger finally gets on the apron. The champ comes back with a clothesline and the fans loudly cheer for him. If you were just watching the match with no commentary or any idea what happened last night, you would have almost no reason to believe Sting was a heel.

It’s off to Hogan vs. Luger with Hulk firing off even more right hands but eating the running forearm to the head. Sting comes in with a top rope splash for two because heels use high flying moves. Back to Luger for more choking as we’re still waiting on wrestling to start. Hogan blocks a ram into the buckle but Sting comes back in for a suplex. Lex starts going after the knee as this match needs to just die already.

The knee goes nowhere as Hogan clotheslines both guys down, setting up the lukewarm tag to Bret. A quick Russian suplex gets two on the champ and the middle rope elbow gets the same. Everything breaks down as Diamond Dallas Page comes out for no apparent reason, carrying a ball bat. Hogan knocks it away as Bret has Sting in the Sharpshooter but Luger picks it up and nails Bret in the face, giving Sting the pin.

Rating: F. When I’m miserable over the fact that there are only two minutes left in a match, there’s something very wrong. This was terribly boring with no one putting it into even second gear. It doesn’t help that the story makes no sense. All of a sudden Sting is EVIL (despite not really doing anything evil tonight), Bret and Hogan are Flair fans and Page is now hanging out with Luger and Sting. Terrible match here and I have no interest in seeing this go forward.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a really hard one to grade. The Revolution matches (save for Benoit vs. Steiner but that was the booking’s fault) were really good and some of the better TV matches WCW has put on in a very long time. Unfortunately though there’s a HUGE gap between those and the main event matches, which ranged from horrible to the preferred method of torture in 14 countries.

This show was a perfect illustration of how nothing is going to change in WCW. The young guys can go out there and have great matches that actually get the fans reacting, but no one is going to break through into the main event scene. Those guys exist to fight each other and warm the crowd up so the real stars can have their boring matches with whatever nonsense stories they’re running. It’s like banging your head against a wall and wondering why the door doesn’t move. As usual, the wrestling can be good in spots but the booking will make you pull your hair out.

Thunder was canceled this week due to a hurricane and replaced by a recap show so I won’t be putting it up. Sorry to the four people that actually read those recaps.

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