Thunder
Date: October 7, 1999
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 2,411
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

Back to this disaster again as it’s we’re still getting close to Halloween Havoc and the question this week is what can Goldberg do to Sid’s car now. Actually the question would be why is this the best they can come up with. Russo and Ferrara aren’t in charge at this point, so this might actually be the last taped event (save for Saturday Night with its insane schedule but who cares about that show at this point?) before they took over. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Dean Malenko vs. Blitzkrieg

Blitzkrieg has new attire. This could be interesting, especially if Malenko stretches him for doing too many ridiculous flips. Malenko easily takes him down to start and they trade some hammerlocks. Dean slaps on a front chancery followed by a quickly broken surfboard. Total wrestling clinic from Malenko so far. Back up again and Blitzkrieg tries to jump over Dean and gets dropped face first onto the mat for his efforts.

Dean stomps away in the corner but Blitzkrieg gets up and does an unnecessary backflip out of the corner, followed by a more necessary running dropkick in the same corner. A moonsault sets up a chinlock on Dean but he pops back up and drives a knee into the masked ribs. Well the ribs of the masked man. No one would put a mask on the ribs, though I have seen a claw onto the ribs.

Dean scores with a suplex for some two counts before cranking on the knee like you would expect from a submission specialist. Can you really call him that when he only uses one hold 95% of the time? He stomps away at the leg before hitting a nice gutbuster for two. Blitzkrieg doesn’t sell the leg so Malenko suplexes him over the top and out to the floor as the announcers talk about the Outsiders on Nitro.

Blitzkrieg sends him into the barricade and hits a big twisting dive over the top for a nice looking crash. Back in and the masked man slips, which is about as good as we’re going to get for selling. Malenko plants him with a top rope belly to back superplex, followed by a quick pinfall reversal sequence. A wicked tiger bomb sets up the Cloverleaf to give Malenko the win.

Rating: C. There’s something so fun about a technician like Malenko throwing around a high flier like Blitzkrieg, especially when it seems like Dean is annoyed at a lot of the no selling of the leg. I mean, the guy can’t even limp a bit before he does the dives? Not a bad match here, but it’s nice to see Dean win whenever he’s not losing to people who don’t deserve the push they’re getting.

We run down the card for Halloween Havoc. That show is going to hurt.

Quick look at Disco Inferno winning the Cruiserweight Title again on Monday.

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Evan Karagias

Disco’s entrance is edited out because he wasn’t Cruiserweight Champion when this was taped. The champ cranks on the arm to start but Evan trips him up and works on the arm as well. A pair of dropkicks send Disco to the floor before he comes back in for another armbar. We could have had Psychosis doing some nice dives or Malenko using 37 varieties of an armbar, but instead we get Disco who uses a total of one kind.

Disco’s backdrop is countered with a simple shove to the mat because this match can’t get past second gear. Evan rains down right hands in the corner but gets sent out to the floor. More whips into various steel objects get two for the champ. Now we get to the interesting stretch of the match as Disco suplexes Evan, then suplexes him again, then can’t hit the third attempt.

A double clothesline puts both guys down before Evan gets up with some right hands and a slam. Evan goes to the apron for a springboard cross body for two more, followed by a powerslam for the same. His attempt at a headscissors is countered though and Disco hits the Last Dance to retain.

Rating: D+. The match isn’t bad from a technical standpoint but my goodness Disco isn’t going to work in this spot. Yeah he can have some acceptable matches, but after watching Malenko earlier tonight, it’s really hard to sit through Inferno defending the title against someone like Evan Karagias.

Just to show how dense WCW is, they show Disco’s entrance after the match, showing that he doesn’t have the belt and completely defeating the purpose of not showing it in the first place.

Bret Hart is proud of his match with Benoit on Monday.

Clip of Brad Armstrong telling Berlyn to speak English in America. This is making me long for the days of Jim Duggan vs. Boris Zhukov.

Brad Armstrong vs. Chris Adams

England is evil now? This would have been a very fun back in say….1987. The fans chant USA as Adams takes him up against the ropes for a cheap shot. They do it again but Armstrong ducks a second cheap shot. Score one for the United States school system. An armdrag sends Adams to the floor before he comes back in to trade wristlocks. Is there a ban on working ANYTHING other than the arm, or did Blitzkrieg’s no selling scare everyone off?

Adams throws him to the floor and stomps away outside. Back in and Adams hits a top rope clothesline, followed by a variety of suplexes. He misses a top rope knee drop but avoids a charge and hits the superkick for two. Brad avoids a charge of his own and hits the Russian (some American hero) legsweep for the pin.

Rating: D. They expect to put Berlyn vs. Brad Armstrong on pay per view and have people pay for it? That’s really the best lower card match they can find? You know who won’t be on the card at Halloween Havoc? Dean Malenko. Dump Berlyn and let Armstrong have a match against Dean if nothing else. No it won’t be the interesting build in the world, but at least the match will be entertaining. Armstrong is still decent in the ring but my goodness they’re not giving him much to work with at the pay per view. Adams is way past his prime here at 44 years old but he still has a decent superkick.

TV Title: Chris Benoit vs. Brian Knobbs

Benoit is defending because Heaven help us if Knobbs ever got a singles title. Brian talks trash on the floor as Jimmy Hart has to tell him to get in the ring. This is like that angle where Bobby Heenan had to give Terry Taylor specific instructions on everything to make him win but without the angle part. He finally gets in and they shove each other a bit before Benoit just fires off right hands, likely at frustration for having to fight someone like Knobbs, and dropkicks him out to the floor.

After about 45 seconds of stalling and not even a single count from the referee, we actually continue the match. Back in and Benoit blocks a charge by raising his boots but runs into a powerslam. Some right hands send Brian back to the floor but he blocks a baseball slide and throws Benoit into the steps. They head into the crowd as referee Nick Patrick argues with Jimmy Hart.

This show seems to be in a ventriloquist convention as the fans sound like they’re going nuts but they appear to just be sitting there. Amazing how Smackdown and Thunder crowds always go that way. They fight up towards the chairs (minus the fans in them) and we take a break. Back with nothing having changed and no reason to believe the referee has even started counting. If you want to have a hardcore match then have a hardcore match. Just say that’s what it is so the fans don’t get confused by the referee’s lack of actions.

They go back to ringside with Benoit being sent into the steps twice in a row. Knobbs chokes a lot and throws a chair at Benoit but the champ wins a slugout and takes it back inside for a nice change of pace. The Swan Dive misses though and Brian covers for two before using his usual lame offense. Knobbs elbows out of a German suplex attempt but Benoit goes into Wolverine mode and hits back to back Germans. Since WE MUST PROTECT BRIAN KNOBBS, Jimmy Hart breaks it up at two and we have a ref bump. Hart accidentally nails his man with the megaphone though, allowing Benoit to hit the Swan Dive to retain.

Rating: D+. Benoit is great, but there’s a firm limit to what he’s capable of doing and we found it with this match. Who in the world can carry Brian Knobbs to a ten minute match without the use of weapons for a crutch? This is another case where there had to be someone else capable of having a better match. Even Hugh Morrus would have been miles ahead of Knobbs here, but Morrus isn’t friends with the right people. Who was going to stick around with this show to see Brian Knobbs get a title shot?

Lash Leroux vs. Silver King

King grabs him to start but gets taken down in an armbar. Some right hands and a clothesline have King in trouble but he sees Lash duck his head and takes him down with a tornado DDT for two. In a bad looking botch, Silver King moonsaults onto Lash’s head for another near fall. Thankfully Lash doesn’t seem to badly messed up but that looked scary.

Lash comes back with a headscissors but his hurricanrana is countered into a good looking superbomb. We hit the chinlock but King throws in some gnawing at the head to keep it interesting. Lash fights to his feet and goes up top, only to dive into a right hand to the ribs. After an unnecessary trip to the floor, Lash escapes a powerbomb attempt and hits Whiplash for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but this was the lower end of the cruiserweight division. Leroux wasn’t bad but he needed to do something besides just be a Cajun. There wasn’t anything to this one other than Silver King’s powerbomb and biting at Lash’s head. Why didn’t Silver King win here again?

Bret still really liked that match on Monday.

Death of Lex Luger video.

Maestro vs. Dale Torborg

Torborg is…..the love child of Sting and Knuckleball Schwartz. Baseball jersey with MVP written on the chest, baseball pants with pinstripes, and red and black facepaint and gloves. There’s no other way to describe him. Maestro armdrags him down a few times before cranking on the arm. That’s not exactly how you want someone who looks like Torborg to have their first match in a new gimmick. Torborg kicks him in the back and drives in some elbows for good measure, only to get caught in a belly to back suplex.

Something like Steve Austin’s flip off elbow gets two for Maestro but a Rock Bottom gives Torborg the quick pin. What an odd match and I’m assuming Maestro is a good guy after the way he was going out there. Just bizarre though as both guys were making their in ring debut (at least in these characters as Torborg had a match on Nitro earlier in the year) and Maestro went from a grand entrance to easily losing a match.

Road report. These aren’t as good without Lee Marshall, and that’s REALLY not saying much.

Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman vs. Disorderly Conduct

Disorderly Conduct cheat to start (well that certainly is disorderly) and get dropkicked to the floor where the Animals hit stereo dives to take them down. We settle down to Kidman beating up Mike in the ring. Tom comes in and gets the same treatment, meaning Kidman is running out of tricks. He gets a bit more complicated though by headscissorsing Mike and headlocking Tom at the same time.

Rey comes in with a Lionsault for two on Mike before it’s off to Tom who can’t powerbomb Mysterio. Does being Kidman’s partner mean you get to share his powers? Tom finally hits a kind of reverse powerbomb on Mysterio to take over with a lot of stomping keeping him in trouble. An Earthquake style powerslam plants Rey and we take a break. Back with Tom tilt-a-whirl slamming Mysterio for two as the themed jobbers keep up the double teaming. A top rope ax handle to the head gets two for Tom.

Mike distracts the referee so Rey’s small package only gets two so it’s back to the double teaming, including an ax handle to help Mike’s neckbreaker. Off to the chinlockery portion of the match with Tom hooking two of them in a row. That’s quite the feat. Back to Mike for a slam but he misses a top rope elbow. The hot tag brings in Kidman for a BK Bomb to Tom as everything breaks down. Kidman puts Tom up top and launches Rey into the super hurricanrana (that always looks cool) for the pin with Kidman baseball sliding Mike just in case.

Rating: C. Take two power heels and put them against two high flying good guys and you’re almost always guaranteed to have a passable match. This is a formula as old as professional wrestling itself and it will still work to this day. Power vs. speed is one of the most basic matchups you can see and Kidman and Mysterio were as good of a combination as there was at this point.

From Monday, Bret Hart talks about how special that match with Benoit was. You can see how important this really is to him and it’s always good to see Hart a happy man.

US Title: Stevie Ray vs. Sid Vicious

It’s about time Sid defended that thing. Believe it or not, this actually has a story behind it as Sid and Steiner attacked Stevie a few weeks back so Stevie wants revenge. That’s better continuity than WCW has shown in months. Ray jumps him on the apron and clotheslines Sid out to the floor.

A few whips send the champ into the barricade and Stevie slams him down on the floor. I don’t know what’s gotten into Sid recently but this is the second match in a row where he’s actually sold something. Therefore, here’s Rick Steiner to hammer Stevie from behind as referee Charles Robinson stops to tie his shoes. Back in and Sid only gets two off Steiner’s attack so he beats on Stevie to relieve that tension.

Ray comes back with right hands but Steiner trips him up one more time and a legdrop to the back of the head gets two for Sid. We hit the worst chinlock ever (a record Sid breaks twice a week) as Sid LAYS DOWN while barely cranking on Stevie’s neck. Stevie fights up but eats a forearm from Steiner. Somehow he’s able to backdrop his way out of the powerbomb, but the referee stops to tie his shoe for the second time. The Steiner Bulldog and a double powerbomb is enough to make Sid 128-0, after he was 120-0 on Nitro.

Rating: D+. Maybe it’s the wrestling version of Stockholm Syndrome, but these Sid disasters are starting to turn into something resembling tolerable. No they’re not good matches or anything really resembling such, but they’re at least they get in and get out without making things too stupid. They have an idea now, even though it doesn’t seem likely to go anywhere.

Overall Rating: D. This is a tricky show to grade as the wrestling wasn’t the worst in the world, but the lack of star power REALLY hurt things. I can tolerate low name guys if the matches are really good, but that just wasn’t the case here. You need someone to invest in and Brad Armstrong just doesn’t fill that role for fighting a German who is more annoying than bad.

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Monday Nitro #207
Date: September 27, 1999
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 11,919
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

It’s time to continue into this downward spiral that Nitro has become. Tonight they have a major six man tag with Hogan/Hart/Flair teaming up to face Luger/Sting/Page. Keep that in mind. This is one of the few times that the show has set up a major match a week in advance and actually hyped it up. I’ll come back to that later. Let’s get to it.

We open with Hogan arriving in a limo to sign autographs for fans. Sting sneaks up on him and speaks in a kid’s voice for a distraction. Hogan, ever the genius, falls for it and gets hit in the knee with the ball bat. They’re changing the main event aren’t they?

Quick recap of last week’s major events.

The announcers preview the show and oh man Heenan does not sound good. This could be a long night.

Tenay tries to talk to Hogan but Hulk gets inside anyway.

Sting says he isn’t done with Hogan tonight.

Before the first match, Heenan goes on a RANT, ripping into WCW for being a mess and telling him how to talk. From now on the Brain is back and he isn’t putting up with this nonsense. That’s quite out of nowhere.

TV Title: Ernest Miller vs. Chris Benoit

The ring looks WAY bigger tonight for some reason. Like bigger than a modern WWE ring. Cat is challenging after asking for a title shot and doing his usual schtick. Benoit chops away to start and Miller immediately bails to the floor. Back in and Chris misses a charge into the corner and things slow down. Miller has “Godfather” on his tights. I would make a joke about that being a lawsuit but it probably was at this point. More kicking and choking ensues as Miller is rapidly running out of offense to go through. A sunset flip gets two for the champ but he walks into another superkick.

For a change of pace, Sonny gets in some kicks on the floor. The lack of Revolution backup tells you all you need to know about Miller and Onoo’s standings. Back in and Benoit ducks the Feliner and scores with a clothesline, only to have Sonny try a choke. Even the referee doesn’t think enough of Miller to make it a DQ. Miller’s loaded shoe kicks Onoo by mistake and it’s the German suplex followed by the Swan Dive and Crossface to retain the title.

Rating: D+. It’s nice to see Benoit get a win and for the TV Title to be defended as it was intended to be for years. Miller losing is always a fun thing to see, which really does make him decent as a heel. Yeah he’s annoying and limited in the ring, but the point of a heel is to see them get what’s coming to them, and that’s what you saw here. Nothing great but an acceptable match that the fans could get into.

Sid has chokeslammed and powerbombed a lot of people.

Vampiro vs. Buff Bagwell

Thank goodness the Clowns are gone. Buff, now minus the mustache, takes a kick to the face early on and Vampiro stomps away a lot. In the vein of Ernest Miller, Vampiro goes up top for a kick this time to really vary up his offense. Bagwell finally starts going with a monkey flip before nailing him with a clothesline. Vampiro’s hurricanrana is countered with a powerbomb and they head outside with Vampiro sending him into the steps.

A chinlock goes nowhere as Heenan rips into Bagwell for the new facial hair. Buff fights up but walks into the Nail in the Coffin, which is just a regular move now. Vampiro misses a guillotine legdrop and Buff starts his comeback, only to walk into an enziguri. They head to the corner for a superplex but Buff shoves him off and hits the Blockbuster for the pin. So NOW Buff’s face push starts and will take him up the card right?

Rating: D. These lower midcard matches are death for Nitro. There’s no reason for them to be taking place, they don’t go anywhere, and the best part about them are Heenan’s rants about how stupid so much of this stuff is. That being said, I’ll take this a hundred times in a row over the Clowns in the ring again.

The announcers talk about Goldberg for a bit and we hear a voice (which sounds quite a bit like Dustin Rhodes) call out to Tony. There’s a window shown and the voice says the darkness is coming. Well if the best it can do is go after Tony Schiavone, it won’t be lasting long.

And now, to a funeral parlor for the funeral of Lex Luger. As in the guy in the main event tonight. He’s laying in a casket but his ghost appears to describe himself as a great man and a great champion. We cut to a cemetery and a woman in black, presumably Elizabeth, throws flowers into a grave. It’s off to the arena with the woman in black being revealed as Elizabeth of course. She comes to the ring to reveal Lex Luger, who is officially renamed as the Total Package. Same guy and the same gear, but now he doesn’t have wrist tape. Literally, identical other than the tape.

Hogan is having his knee looked at when Sting comes in and nails him with the bat again.

Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Douglas tells Dean to take care of this guy but Dean doesn’t want “his kind of help”. Saturn and Benoit are cool with this decision and leave but Shane gives a look that says “well screw you then.” Mysterio sends the Animals to the back and we get a one on one match. They start fast as you would expect by trading shoulders and armdrags into a standoff for one of the best exchanges WCW has had in months.

Malenko is sent to the apron and they head up top for a crash out to the floor. Back in and Rey escapes a reverse suplex into a rollup for two but his springboard hurricanrana attempt is countered in a big sitout powerbomb. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two and the Cloverleaf goes on, but we need to watch Rick Steiner and Sid arrive. Mysterio gets to the ropes and grabs a crucifix for the fast pin before Sid can come out and ruin another good match.

Rating: B-. Of course this match doesn’t get any time because we need to see Hogan getting hit in the knee again because once wasn’t enough. Again, when you just have the talented wrestlers wrestling, the show gets so much easier to sit through. I could have watched another ten minutes of this but that’s simply not allowed in WCW.

Malenko shakes his hand post match and leaves as a good sport.

Goldberg vs. Hugh Morrus

Time for an anniversary match. After the full on entrance, Goldberg busts out a very good looking dropkick and a superkick to send Morrus out to the floor. A hard whip sends Morrus into the steps and Goldberg takes him back inside for a powerslam. Heenan continues to be a huge Goldberg fan, even now that the filter is off. Jimmy tries to offer a distraction and Hugh sends Goldberg outside, allowing Sid to sneak in for a chair shot to the back.

A top rope elbow gets two for Morrus but he’s a bit shaken up from the impact. Stomping and choking ensues as Goldberg’s leg is bleeding. Morrus slams Goldberg to quickly stop a comeback bid and loads up No Laughing Matter. In a repeat of Goldberg’s first match, he kicks out at two and hits the usual for the pin.

Rating: C. This was far better than I was expecting, even though it wasn’t all that great of a match. The Sid stuff is already old but at least they’re pointing at something instead of just having him beat up random luchadors. Morrus was good for a decent match when he needed to pull one off, which is why he wound up with his upcoming punny name.

Goldberg wants Sid.

An ambulance leaves the arena, presumably with Hogan inside.

More Nitro Girls Search stuff with good looking women who still aren’t Stacy Keibler.

Evan Karagias vs. Berlyn

Penzer reminds us that the fans are not to make any noise during Berlyn’s match. You can tell Bischoff isn’t in Tony’s ear as he points out that demanding something means Berlyn doesn’t get what he wants. Berlyn hammers away in the corner but Evan comes back with some generic cruiserweight style offense.

The evil German hides away but pokes Evan in the eye and slugs him down even more. A running knee and nice overhead belly to belly have Karagias in trouble but he’s still able to crotch Berlyn on the top. Evan hits a high cross body for two as the announcers keep focusing on the bodyguard. Said bodyguard nails Evan in the back, allowing his boss to get the win with a neckbreaker.

Rating: D. Berlyn is going absolutely nowhere and it’s pretty clear that they’re shifting the focus over to the bodyguard instead. I can’t say I blame them as he at least has an intimidating look and could cause some damage. Other than that though, there isn’t much to get fired up about for either guy as Berlyn is just horribly boring in the ring.

Berlyn goes after Evan again post match but Brad Armstrong makes the save, only to get beaten down as well. I like Armstrong, but he’s the clearest sign possible that Berlyn is done.

Goldberg breaks into Sid’s locker room and steals his keys from an attendant.

David Flair can’t find Torrie.

Tag Team Titles; Harlem Heat vs. Kendall Windham/Barry Windham

The Windhams are challenging for Heaven knows what reason. Tony continues to screw up continuity by saying Booker was a multi sport athlete in high school. This goes against Tenay’s often repeated line about Booker only being in the marching band. Somehow I have a feeling I’m the only person to pick up on that. Booker superkicks Kendall to start and hammers him down with ease. It’s almost like one guy is a Hall of Famer and the other guy is there because he has a famous brother.

Off to Barry vs. Stevie with the latter in control as we take an early break. Back with Hennig working over Booker on the floor before throwing him in for a beating from Kendall. A DDT drops Booker and everything quickly breaks down. In the melee, Stevie hits Kendall in the knee with a title belt behind Booker’s back, giving T. the pin.

Rating: D+. These teams have fought so many times that there’s nothing left for them to do. As I’ve said before, there are so many teams around WCW but this is the only combination we ever get. A simple change of pace on the booking staff could do wonders for this company, which we’re inching towards every single day. Whether that’s a good thing or not is yet to be determined.

Goldberg calls a towing company. Your top star of the future ladies and gentlemen.

Rick Steiner vs. Van Hammer

This was supposed to be Hammer getting a US Title shot but Sid must be afraid of vengeance from Slamboree 1993. Rick Steinerlines him to the floor and Rick laughs as he beats the tar out of Hammer. Back in and Hammer keeps getting beaten up before grabbing a quick Flashback for his first offense. Charles Robinson breaks up the cobra clutch slam because Heaven forbid Rick Steiner have to look bad for more than ten seconds. Steiner tells Robinson to look the other way so he can kick Hammer low, setting up the Bulldog for the pin.

Rating: F. So in other words, WCW built up a match (kind of) for the US Title but instead of giving us something that might involve a new guy getting into the title picture, we got ANOTHER Rick Steiner squash that no one wants to see. What in the world does anyone see in this guy that makes them want to push him down our throats as more and more people change the channel?

Here’s Bret for a chat. He got hit by a ball bat a few weeks ago but he’s just a little banged up. He’s back in the ring and thinks Hulk Hogan is the Elvis of wrestling. Seriously? I don’t really disagree with the statement but it’s not something Bret would ever say. Cue Flair, who Bret immediately praises as well. That’s not quite as much of a stretch but still doesn’t fit. Flair says they need to take care of Sting/Luger/Page tonight and takes off the jacket to pose. He’ll ride Liz too if she gets involved. I can’t say I blame him after how she looked earlier.

Heenan talks about the mask vs. hair match tonight and says no one cares if Kidman is bald.

Torrie is in the Filthy Animals’ locker room when David calls her. He doesn’t like the other male voices and hangs up. Dude, you had her for like six months. Go out on that high note because you knew it wasn’t going to last forever.

Sid is told Goldberg stole his car keys.

Perry Saturn vs. Konnan

Konnan hiptosses him down but gets caught in an armbar for his efforts. A superkick staggers Konnan but he blocks a suplex attempt. That’s some of the hardest work I’ve seen Konnan do in years. The rolling clothesline is countered into a Tazzplex and it’s back to the armbar, sending Konnan into the ropes. Who would think a match between two bald guys could be this watchable? Back up and a double clothesline puts both guys down as we take a break.

We come back with Saturn cranking on the arm again, sending Konnan right back to the ropes. A top rope elbow gets two for Saturn but Konnan grabs a powerbomb out of nowhere for the same. They head back to the corner with Konnan hitting something like a reverse Razor’s Edge, setting up his usual finishing sequence. Cue a bunch of luchadors and the Filthy Animals for a big brawl to throw the match out.

Rating: C+. The match was far better than I was expecting but the run-in finish hurt things as usual. Who would have thought Konnan could keep up with someone like Saturn though? That’s quite the surprise and a flashback to when Konnan actually could work a decent match. I’d assume this ties into the mask vs. hair match later but given that it’s WCW I doubt they’ve thought it that far through.

Sid goes to his car but doesn’t find the keys. He heads back inside as the tow truck arrives.

Post break, the tow truck pulls the car away.

Here’s Page for a chat. Page says he’s married to the most beautiful woman in the world and that’s why the people hate him. He mentions Luger being gone and the Total Package taking his place, only to call him Luger a few seconds later.

Various celebrities are here, including one of the members of ZZ Top.

Quick recap of Psychosis vs. Kidman in the mask vs. hair match which was thrown together by Chavo Guerrero.

Kidman vs. Psychosis

Hair vs. mask and Psychosis has Juventud and Chavo in his corner. Psychosis hammers away on him to start and they’re quickly on the floor. The outside stuff goes nowhere so they head back inside where Kidman scores with dropkicks. Psychosis sends him right back outside for a slingshot moonsault but Kidman goes for his mask. That’s not the nicest thing in the world to do and pretty out of character for Kidman.

The referee yells at him, allowing Psychosis to get two off a DDT. A dropkick to the side of the head has Kidman in even more trouble and a top rope hurricanrana gets two. The other luchadors get in some cheap shots on Kidman on the floor, setting up a top rope spinwheel kick for another two count. Kidman misses a dropkick but grabs a quick sunset flip. They head to the corner with Psychosis hitting a sitout gordbuster to drop Kidman again but we still don’t have a bald guy yet.

Kidman comes back with a powerslam and loads up the Shooting Star, only to have Juventud pulls Psychosis to the floor. Chavo plants Kidman with a tornado DDT for two and Juvy sneaks in with a Juvy Driver for an even closer two. Psychosis is so stunned that he thinks he can powerbomb Kidman. The Filthy Animals come out to take care of the luchadors, allowing the Shooting Star to get rid of the mask and blow the roof off the place. That’s kind of a surprising reaction.

Rating: B+. Again, give two talented guys ten minutes to work and let them fly all over the ring before soaking in a great reaction from the crowd. This will of course be followed by the fans not caring about the main event because of whatever reason you care to pick for this show. This was a really fun and fast paced match though with some great near falls.

Kidman quickly rips the mask off and there’s a huge brawl.

Sting, Luger and Page are coming to the ring. Luger stops dead and starts chuckling until Page says the red light is still on and Luger keeps walking. Just……yeah.

Bret Hart/Ric Flair vs. Sting/Total Package/Diamond Dallas Page

Because this show clearly has enough power to pull a bait and switch. Sting shoulders Flair down to start before hitting a gorilla press. Just like last week, if you watched this match as a stand alone, you would never know Sting had recently turned. Flair avoids a Stinger Splash so it’s off to Luger vs. Hart. The Canadian takes over as Heenan makes more jokes that don’t make sense.

Bret starts up the Five Moves but Page breaks up the Sharpshooter before it can do much. Everything breaks down for a bit with Sting nailing a running clothesline. Tony brings up Liz sending an official memo to the announcers, forbidding them from calling her man Luger. It’s a shame he doesn’t bring up Bret injuring all three guys last year because that might make things more interesting.

Luger chokes Bret in the corner before Sting draws in Flair, allowing Hart to get double teamed. A double clothesline puts Sting and Hart down and it’s a hot tag to bring in Flair. It quickly settles down to Flair suplexing Sting and going for the leg. Hart takes out Page and Luger but Kimberly sneaks Luger the ball bat which nails Flair for the DQ.

Rating: D. Totally standard tag match which wasn’t even advertised because WCW is so much better than WWF about giving what they advertise. Remember when that was Tony’s big talking point every week? Nothing to see here as this was more running around in circles before the “money” matches at the pay per view. Just more dull stuff here that didn’t advance anything.

David Flair runs in and gets beaten down. We cut to the back where we see an empty ambulance and Hogan limps out as his partners and David are destroyed. Hogan cleans house, gets the bat, and sends the villains running. Screw off WCW. Seriously, it’s 1999 and Hogan is still destroying everyone while Flair and Hart look like mere mortals. Was there ANY reason to not have Hogan in this match?

Sid goes to his car…..and it’s been completely crushed. He shouts for Goldberg as we go off the air and I shout about why Sid was actually in the arena despite having nothing to do tonight.

Overall Rating: C. There are some very good moments on this show but the bad ones drag it back down to reality. The same problems continue to plague this show: a main event with no heat and Goldberg being wasted on a feud people don’t really want to see while Rick Steiner suddenly has match making power and gets to pick who he beats up in the ring without ever selling for more than five seconds. Two of the three big matches being changed didn’t help either, which brings me back to something I brought up at the beginning.

So with the big main event match announced in advance, here are the final ratings for the shows this week. Monday Night Raw: 6.8. Monday Nitro: 3.0. To put this in perspective, back on Christmas night 1995, Raw only beat Nitro by 2.5. On that night, Nitro wasn’t on television. From what I can tell, this is the second largest margin when both shows were on in their regular time slots in the entirety of the Wars so far. Of note, the only time that beat it was built around the return of Hulk Hogan. Somehow, neither week taught WCW a thing and that’s a bit reason why you don’t see Nitro every Monday night.

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Monday Nitro #205
Date: September 13, 1999
Location: Dean Smith Center, Chapel Hill, North Carolinas
Attendance: 5,571
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

It’s the night after Fall Brawl and again I’m convinced WCW has hit rock bottom. The Revolution got swept last night and Sting turned heel to win the World Title, despite the fans sounding pleased with the results. We’re now a month away from Halloween Havoc and it’s time to see how Nitro goes without Bischoff running things behind the scenes. Let’s get to it.

Things are already looking up on this show as we look back at last week with Hart challenging Hogan and all the Hogan/Sting/Luger shenanigans.

Nitro Girls.

Quick recap of last night. That’s the best way to do it if you absolutely must.

Recap of Benoit and Malenko having a good match for a World Title shot tonight until Sid interfered to give us a good old fashioned bait and switch.

Chris Benoit vs. Dean Malenko

Rematch with the same stipulations as last week with Saturn and Douglas at ringside. Feeling out process to start as they fight over a hammerlock. Benoit scores with an enziguri but can’t hook a dragon suplex. Instead Dean nails him with an elbow tot he jaw but they both fall out to the floor. Mostly even match so far. Saturn and Douglas don’t let it turn into a brawl as Tony is talking about Sting, which actually ties into this match. You can tell Bischoff isn’t in his ear this week.

Dean takes over with a short arm scissors back inside but Benoit powers out and drops Dean for two. Malenko avoids a dropkick and goes for the leg but Benoit is right next to the ropes. Benoit misses a charge in the corner but catches Dean taking way too long to get up top, setting up a top rope superplex to put both guys down.

A double clothesline gives us a double cover before we hit a very crisp pinfall reversal sequence. Benoit starts rolling Germans but Dean counters into a rollup for two. That’s enough for Benoit as he hooks a belly to back and slits the throat, only to get caught on top for another superplex, but Benoit hooks Dean’s leg on the way down and ties the legs together into a small package for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B+. That might be high but this is the best match WCW has had probably in months. It wasn’t even ten minutes long but they packed stuff into this match with both guys getting to look great. There’s a great story in here with Benoit trying to use suplexes and throws while Dean wanted to break Benoit down by going for body parts but kept getting in trouble when he went out of his comfort zone, namely whenever he went to the top. At the end of the day, there is no substitute for a really good wrestling match and that’s exactly what you got here.

All four members of the team gets in to hug post match.

Gene is in the ring and brings back Ric Flair as he returns in the Carolinas again. They’re already about 10,000x better than what we got last night. I wonder how much of a difference the lack of Bischoff makes as there’s a good chance he booked the PPV before leaving and this is the first real show without him.

Ric is back in face mode and sucks up to the crowd, who of course love him like free beer in a frat house. Flair alludes to being free (of Bischoff I’d assume) before talk turns to Sting and Luger. He doesn’t approve of how Sting won the title. I’ll let you pause to laugh at that for a minute. This brings the two of them out to say it’s their time now, meaning it’s time for Flair to go because they’ve been held back long enough. Somehow they’re onto something as they’ve combined for eleven World Titles and Flair has I think fourteen at this point?

Ric says they have to to earn their spots, which you would think they did years ago but Flair has always had some issues with reality. Luger and Sting deck Flair and put him in their respective submissions, drawing out Hart and Hogan for the save. Hogan sets up the tag match for later, which he’s doing for Flair. You know, for all those great moments they’ve had together earlier this year.

After a break, Luger and Sting laugh because Luger doesn’t have medical clearance or any gear. Sting not mentioning facing Benoit later scares me.

Berlyn’s entourage arrives.

DJ Ran throws it to Riki Rachman to show us last week’s winner in the Nitro Girls competition and introduce this week’s finalists. None of them are Stacy Keibler so we’ll move on.

JJ Dillon is on the phone with a doctor in Florida and finds out that Luger has been cleared for three weeks. My what convenient timing for him to finally look into that.

Stills of Benoit vs. Sid from last night. The faster we move on from this the better a lot of people will be.

Erik Watts vs. Disco Inferno

Someone explain to me why WCW keeps Watts on the payroll. They must owe Bill a favor of some kind. Erik “Let me show you my dropkick” Watts hammers away to start but gets armdragged and hiptossed, setting up dance time. He stomps Watts down in the corner but misses a charge, allowing Watts to powerslam him into the corner. Think the Oklahoma Stampede minus the followup powerslam.

Watts stays on the ribs but Disco counters a Russian legsweep into one of his own, even though it’s pretty much the same move either way. The middle rope elbow misses though and DEAR GOODNESS TURN DOWN THE CROWD NOISE! The fans suddenly go from silent to losing their minds in the span of half a second as we go split screen to show Sid. Disco hits the Last Dance for the pin a second later.

Rating: D-. That powerslam wasn’t bad but the audio going nuts was the most entertaining part of the match. Disco really deserves something better than this. Even a low level tag team or something like that would be nice for him. Instead he’s stuck in these lame matches and about to get powerbombed in half by Sid.

Of course that’s exactly what happens, plus Sid rambling on about not putting up with trash like this, or with Goldberg for that matter. Charles Robinson was holding the signs as Sid is now at 82-0 and got to wear the US Title. Somehow, it kind of suits him.

Silver King vs. Norman Smiley

Norman shoves him around to start but takes a quick enziguri (a popular move tonight) and a quick flip splash. King sends Norman outside and teases a dive which looks so horrible that Smiley doesn’t even bother to move. Back in and Smiley busts out the Big Wiggle but has to hit a wheelbarrow slam, followed by the spinning slam. Not that any of it matters though as Sid comes in for the no contest.

Chokeslams and double pins make Sid 84-0.

We recap the horrid Berlyn vs. Duggan match from Sunday.

Steve Regal/Dave Taylor vs. Barry Windham/Kendall Windham

Regal runs over Kendall with ease to start and takes him to the mat for a well needed wrestling lesson. A front facelock has Kendall in trouble and Regal goes behind him to throw Kendall around a bit. Off to Barry and the gut of doom before Taylor comes in for a European uppercut. The Windhams take Taylor into the corner for a double teaming with the Windhams moving at top speed. Well top speed for them at least, which is slow motion for most other teams.

Taylor finally rolls away, somehow countering the Windham’s lightning quick offense to make the tag to Regal. Steve comes in with those pretty lame left hands of his and a Regal Cutter to Barry as everything breaks down. Taylor hooks Barry in a leg lock but Kendall makes the quick save. The referee goes after Taylor, allowing Hennig to hit Regal with the cowbell to give Barry the pin.

Rating: D. The Windhams need to get away from my screen as soon as possible. They’re not interesting, they’re not good in the ring, they’re not really in shape and they’re not losing like they should be. The Brits are a decent heel team and could actually have a nice match if given the chance, but here they are jobbing to the Windhams, who still aren’t over after losing the titles a day earlier.

Back from a break with Jerry Flynn in the ring but Goldberg is shown coming to the ring with security while wearing street clothes. Goldberg comes down to the ring and passes Prince Iaukea, who seems to be Flynn’s scheduled opponent. THANK YOU BILL! Goldberg isn’t pleased with Sid’s comments earlier and would like to challenge him to a match. That’s the cleaned up version of course. We cut to Sid in the back where again his audio is so low that I can’t hear a thing he says. He picks up a bag and leaves as Goldberg is still in the ring. Flynn complains and I think you can guess what happens.

Stills of the Tag Team Title match last night.

Harlem Heat vs. First Family

So we had Malenko and Douglas lose last night for a non-title match? The countdown is on for those guys. Ray and Morrus stall for a few moments to start before both guys shove each other around. Knobbs comes in for a double team attempt but Booker kicks him in the face to send us to a commercial. Back with all four fighting outside until it’s Morrus slamming Ray for two inside.

The Family hits back to back splashes in the corner but try a double clothesline and get run over for their efforts. At least Stevie is at the point where he can run at people and stick his arms out. I mean WCW praises the Clowns for doing it so they should praise Stevie too right? Booker comes in to fire some kicks at Knobbs but the Rednecks come back out to break up the missile dropkick for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad and they’re getting the idea of making the hot tag to someone who can actually use some speed. That being said, did Douglas and Malenko really just lose to the First Family to set up a loss to Harlem Heat the next night to continue the boring rivalry with the Rednecks? That’s what we really just did? The fact that it’s not the Clowns getting this feud is somehow the best news to come out of this.

Insane Clown Posse vs. Lenny Lane/Lodi

Oh this is going to hurt. Vampiro is hurting as well after a bunch of injuries to his head and eye after the match last night. Lodi is wearing an East Carolina University football jersey. Does he want a job in WWF (Vince went to school there if that made no sense)? A fan runs into the ring before the match but it turns out to be Tony Mamaluke, who has been following Lenny and Lodi recently. Heenan: “Take him out back and hang him.” When did Brain get so harsh?

J. does some bad looking hiptosses so Lenny starts prancing a bit. A gorilla press sends Lenny running on his knees to Lodi. The camera goes to Vampiro at ringside and thankfully he says there’s something more important going on and points to the ring. Shaggy hammers on Lodi and Stuns Lane across the top rope. A double suplex sends 2 Dope into the ropes as the fans are cheering for the Clowns. The brothers hit a knee lift into a legdrop for two on Shaggy but we get heel (?) miscommunication to allow the tag to J.

Tony and Heenan keep sucking up to the Clowns and say they deserve a Tag Team Title shot. My goodness ANYTHING but that. We get the spot where Lenny and Lodi are knocked into sexual positions before they plant Shaggy with a double DDT for two. The brothers load up a suplex/cross body combination but Lodi hits Lenny by mistake, allowing Shaggy to roll Lenny up for the pin on the Cruiserweight Champion.

Rating: F. A Clown just pinned a champion in what was supposed to set up Shaggy winning the title. Thankfully the Clowns wouldn’t wrestle again in WCW until August so this didn’t go anywhere, but my goodness. They’re treated like good guys, the announcers freak out over hip tosses, and they’re pinning a champion. Just….come on WCW. Even you should be better than this.

The Clowns want Kidman. That recruiting thing isn’t going to be mentioned again is it?

WCW World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Sting

Before the match, Benoit talks about Sid tapping out last night and the whole world saw it, but sometimes the calls don’t go your way. Instead of violins playing Sting to the ring, dogs are barking and Rick Steiner is here. Oh geez here we go. Rick says this isn’t Benoit’s night and for absolutely no adequately explained reason, this is happening instead of Benoit’s World Title shot.

TV Title: Chris Benoit vs. Rick Steiner

Steiner hammers away to start and knees Chris in the ribs. He plants Benoit with a powerslam as this is one sided so far. More beating in the corner ensues until Rick does that face grab of his. Steiner shoves the referee before they head outside with Benoit going into the barricade. Total and complete squash so far.

A belly to belly sets up more face ripping, followed by one of the most painful looking release German suplexes I’ve ever seen. Benoit landed right on the back of his head in a huge crash that made me cringe. It’s only good for two though so Steiner smacks the referee in the face, allowing Benoit to grab a bad looking rollup for the fast count and the pin for the title. Steiner clearly kicked out at about two and a half.

Rating: D-. This right here is the moment where it was clear WCW did not care about Chris Benoit. Yes he won the title but he had a total of some right hands at the beginning and a rollup with a fast count due to something Steiner did. This was all about Steiner and Benoit got squashed the entire time after having a great match earlier tonight because in WCW’s eyes, Steiner is more important than Benoit by definition. On top of that, there’s the whole missing World Title shot. Why stick around if you’re Benoit?

Post match, Steiner destroys Benoit until Malenko makes the save. Just in case you needed any more proof that Benoit is just a guy and might as well have been Prince Iaukea in WCW’s eyes.

Video on the Revolution. You know, those four guys that Steiner and Sid regularly beat up.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Perry Saturn

The Revolution and Filthy Animals are at ringside with Kidman looking to be in pajamas. Feeling out process to start with both guys trading attempts at holds until it’s Eddie grabbing a headlock. Saturn shoves him off and hits a big T-Bone before putting on a headlock of his own. Somehow both guys have already had as much or more offense than Benoit in the previous match.

Back up and Guerrero jumps on Saturn’s back for a sleeper as Tony takes way too long to get to a commercial. We come back with Saturn hitting a hard belly to back suplex but it seems to just fire Eddie up. Things speed WAY up with a sweet exchange of sleeper attempts and suplexes, all of which do little more than make me even angrier at Rick Steiner and Sid for getting pushed so hard.

Eddie gets T-Boned off the top but is still able to hot shot Saturn in the corner. The third T-Bone sends Eddie flying again and makes me think I’m watching a Taz match. The Death Valley Driver is countered though and Eddie plants him with a brainbuster. Eddie has to bail out of the Frog Splash but escapes another DVD attempt, setting up a solid pinfall reversal sequence. Saturn sits down on a headscissors attempt and gets a surprise pin.

Rating: B. Another awesome match here between two guys who can just get in a ring and go. Therefore, neither guy is going to get anywhere around here. This show has had some really good wrestling but also been some of the most frustrating stuff I’ve ever seen. Some combination of these guys could be tearing it up with Harlem Heat for the Tag Team Titles but we’re getting the Windhams and threats of the Clowns because WCW is that stupid.

The groups stare each other down and war is imminent. Why have them fight big names when you can just have them fight each other right?

Berlyn vs. Buff Bagwell

So he’ll skip the PPV (while still appearing to likely get a payday) but he’ll fight on TV where more people are watching? Again, WCW is stupid. The interpreter is back and goes to the commentary booth to make this even more painful. She starts speaking German and the voice is already annoying. Bagwell stalls to start as Tony actually calls this an anticipated match.

A nice dropkick puts Bagwell down and the German continues. Some clotheslines look to set up the Blockbuster but Buff gets crotched on top. The bodyguard gets yelled at as this match is already dragging. Berlyn gets two off a belly to back suplex and we hit the chinlock. The comeback sets up a top rope clothesline and some basic offense as Berlyn is knocked down in the corner. A hot shot sets up a punch from the bodyguard, giving Berlyn the three count.

Rating: D-. Gah this was dull and it barely broke five minutes. It was a short step better than the Duggan match but it’s clear that Berlyn isn’t going anywhere. The German chick got annoying the second she started talking and it didn’t make the match any better. On top of that, it’s clear that they’re going for the Shawn/Diesel formula with the bodyguard becoming the star, but Berlyn is as far from Shawn Michaels as I am from being Miss Nebraska 1973.

We get a long video on Sting posing the theory that Sting’s entire run as the crow was just there to set up his heel turn last night. It’s a cool video but this sounds like some nonsense about the moon landing being staged in a big studio somewhere. It doesn’t help that the video contains dialogue like this: “Perhaps Sting was driving the Hummer that attacked Kevin Nash. He was seen getting out of a Hummer a week later, remember?” They even bring up NWO Sting being part of Sting’s grand plan.

Sting/Lex Luger vs. Bret Hart/Hulk Hogan

Luger is in street clothes and it’s a brawl to start. Hogan and Sting get inside with Hulk destroying the champ with all the right hands he can throw. Bret comes in for right hands of his own as Luger finally gets on the apron. The champ comes back with a clothesline and the fans loudly cheer for him. If you were just watching the match with no commentary or any idea what happened last night, you would have almost no reason to believe Sting was a heel.

It’s off to Hogan vs. Luger with Hulk firing off even more right hands but eating the running forearm to the head. Sting comes in with a top rope splash for two because heels use high flying moves. Back to Luger for more choking as we’re still waiting on wrestling to start. Hogan blocks a ram into the buckle but Sting comes back in for a suplex. Lex starts going after the knee as this match needs to just die already.

The knee goes nowhere as Hogan clotheslines both guys down, setting up the lukewarm tag to Bret. A quick Russian suplex gets two on the champ and the middle rope elbow gets the same. Everything breaks down as Diamond Dallas Page comes out for no apparent reason, carrying a ball bat. Hogan knocks it away as Bret has Sting in the Sharpshooter but Luger picks it up and nails Bret in the face, giving Sting the pin.

Rating: F. When I’m miserable over the fact that there are only two minutes left in a match, there’s something very wrong. This was terribly boring with no one putting it into even second gear. It doesn’t help that the story makes no sense. All of a sudden Sting is EVIL (despite not really doing anything evil tonight), Bret and Hogan are Flair fans and Page is now hanging out with Luger and Sting. Terrible match here and I have no interest in seeing this go forward.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a really hard one to grade. The Revolution matches (save for Benoit vs. Steiner but that was the booking’s fault) were really good and some of the better TV matches WCW has put on in a very long time. Unfortunately though there’s a HUGE gap between those and the main event matches, which ranged from horrible to the preferred method of torture in 14 countries.

This show was a perfect illustration of how nothing is going to change in WCW. The young guys can go out there and have great matches that actually get the fans reacting, but no one is going to break through into the main event scene. Those guys exist to fight each other and warm the crowd up so the real stars can have their boring matches with whatever nonsense stories they’re running. It’s like banging your head against a wall and wondering why the door doesn’t move. As usual, the wrestling can be good in spots but the booking will make you pull your hair out.

Thunder was canceled this week due to a hurricane and replaced by a recap show so I won’t be putting it up. Sorry to the four people that actually read those recaps.

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Monday Nitro #204
Date: September 6, 1999
Location: Miami Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 8,623
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

It’s one of those rare weeks where WCW has given us the slightest glimmer of hope coming off this past week’s Thunder. They actually let Saturn escape with his life against Sid and the Revolution got to stand tall to end the show. We’re coming up on Fall Brawl this Sunday though, and that means it’s time to crush the hopes and dreams of fans so the main event talent can carry the day again. Let’s get to it.

Clips from last week.

Opening sequence.

With new music, here’s Bret Hart in his medium return to WCW. He thought it was a good idea to come down to Miami and show up back here after a lot of time off to think. After all that time, it occurs to him that he hasn’t accomplished his goal of making a difference here in WCW. This isn’t about titles, but he wants to face Hogan. Even if the title isn’t on the line, he can’t move forward with his career until he gets that one match. That’s quite the random challenge without much of a reason. Glad to see Bret is fitting right in.

Here are Riki Rachman and Kimberly for the first round of the Nitro Girl search. There are two finalists and the fans get to vote on WCW.com. Kimberly wraps it up by telling us how hard it is to be a Nitro Girl. I’m sure it is. The saving grace of this segment: Rachman to the crowd: “SAY OH YEAH!” Crowd: “NO!” When WCW’s fans reject you, get out while you can.

Lodi vs. Evan Karagias

Just a matter of killing times until the Clowns and Vampiro show up. Lenny offers an early distraction so Lodi can throw Evan outside. Back in and Evan hits a quick dropkick for two, followed by a Sky High for the same. The champ tries another distraction but this time gets send running back to the floor.

A powerslam and neckbreaker get two each on Lodi and Evan dives onto Lane before he can get on the apron again. They start brawling and it’s nice to see Lenny actually fight for a change and show a backbone. Lodi accidentally dives on his brother and here come the Clowns for a distraction, allowing Lodi to grab a quick DDT for the pin.

Rating: D. My goodness this company is falling fast. It’s nice to see the backbone of the company getting bigger stories, but we’re opening shows with a guy famous for carrying signs vs. the pretty boy of the week. How is this supposed to make me want to keep watching? A mostly dull and short match with Lodi winning isn’t exactly the most thrilling thing in the world.

DJ Ran y Las Chicas Nitro.

Here’s Hogan with something to say. Thankfully he keeps it short here, saying he has no idea why Savage and George were in his locker room or what Luger’s agenda is. He even clarifies that he has a black Hummer instead of the white one in the picture. I still can’t believe that was a plot point they had to address. Hogan can’t wait for his six man cage match with Sting and Goldberg against Page/Sid/Steiner. You would think that match would be mentioned earlier in the night but WCW wants to keep us guessing you see.

Barry Horowitz vs. Al Greene

If Sid doesn’t come out during this…….It’s a very bad sign when a match doesn’t seem good enough for a taped Thunder but that’s what we’ve got here. Feeling out process to start with Barry raking his eyes because if there’s anyone you can buy as a heel, it’s Barry Horowitz. An armdrag and dropkick put Greene down and Barry chokes him on the ropes. For another match that should have been announced earlier, Tony promises a battle royal with the final two men having a regular match for a World Title match next week.

Suddenly we have piano music playing and cut to a man with bleached blond hair playing the piano being lowered from the ceiling. That would be the Maestro, who we’ll get to know more in the future. As this is going on, Sid comes out and powerbombs both guys for the no contest. Tony declares him 77-0, despite that being his record at the start of Thunder. I would say this is a big rib, but I don’t think WCW has the intelligence to pull that off. However, I can give it to WCW to have Sid, Tony screwing up, a piano being lowered from the ceiling and the debut of a new guy in a Barry Horowitz (as a heel for some reason) match.

Sid promises to break Goldberg’s record. I think we’ve gotten the point by now.

The West Texas Rednecks are getting ready for the battle royal without Duncum, who will be out two to three months. The door swings open and there’s a cowboy silhouette, complete with tons of smoke. Instead of someone interesting, it’s Vincent, now dressed like a cowboy, offering the Rednecks his help. Since the Rednecks aren’t that bright, they take him up on his offer. Curt’s nickname for him: Curly Bill. Sure why not.

Here’s Harlem Heat with something to say. Gene asks them about their title match on Sunday and Booker says he’s here to turn this mother out. He knocks the microphone out of Gene’s hand and just takes it from him next time. As usual, Gene really doesn’t have a reason to be here. Stevie says they will be the nine time, nine time, nine time, nine time, nine time, nine time, nine time Tag Team Champions. Now Booker wants to burn this mother up but we’re out of time.

Luger and Sting go into a locker room to find Bret and Hogan. Sting wants to talk to Hogan, who agrees….and there go the lights. Sound effects ensue and we come back with Sting out cold. Luger and Hogan blame each other for doing it. Didn’t we see this same storyline with the roles reversed back in the early days of Nitro? As in with the same exact people?

There’s more to that battle royal than announced earlier. There are twelve people in the battle royal and the first four will be eliminated. The next six out will face each other in singles matches later tonight, and the final two will have another singles match with the winners facing each other for a title shot next week. Those first three singles matches don’t seem to be for anything other than a way to torment us. Thankfully WCW has a graphic for this because the idea of Tony or Bobby remembering this would have been a disaster.

Battle Royal

First Family, Revolution, West Texas Rednecks

Battlebowl 1996 might have had a better lineup than this. Somehow they can’t even promote a match like this properly as Hennig stays on the floor, making it an eleven man battle royal, in theory meaning the first three are officially eliminated. Everyone brawls to start with Saturn choking Barbarian before moving over to Barry. The First Family seems to have the most continuity as the Revolution is on the other end with everyone fighting for themselves.

Shane backdrops Knobbs out and Benoit dumps Bill. Barbarian goes up top like the lunkheaded savage he is and gets dropkicked out, leaving us with eight. Benoit and Saturn chop on Morrus in the corner as Hennig keeps walking around on the floor. Shane backdrops Kendall out but Kendall grabs Douglas from the floor and pulls him out as well. I’m assuming that’s a match later. Benoit throws Barry out and Saturn dumps Flynn, leaving us with Morrus, Saturn, Benoit and Malenko. Morrus gorilla presses Saturn out, only to walk into a double clothesline to give us Malenko vs. Benoit for the title shot later tonight.

Rating: D. Gah we’re in for a very, very long night with what could be a great match to cap it off. This was a really boring battle royal with a bunch of low level guys and the US Champion and pals in there to take over near the end. I’m not sure why I would want to see Kendall Windham vs. Shane Douglas, Jerry Flynn vs. Barry Windham or Hugh Morrus vs. Perry Saturn (ok that could be decent) but if WCW can waste our time with stuff like this, why not?

Ad for Cat-Bo, a parody of Tae-Bo. See, this is the kind of stuff that can actually be entertaining, though it only kind of accomplishes the goal. The problem here is that it’s only kind of funny and comes off more like a really badly made serious version of what they’re making fun of. I mean, it’s a bunch of out of shape people moving around and exercising with a professional athlete leading them. That’s not really funny and is pretty much exactly the point of Tae-Bo in the first place. In other words, WCW had something resembling an idea but managed to screw it up.

Johnny Swinger vs. Prince Iaukea

Is the main roster on vacation or something? Swinger hides in the ropes to start and takes a shoulder to put him down. Prince hammers away in the corner and backflips over Swinger into a rollup for two. My goodness why is this not a dark match? Johnny hammers away in the corner as Tony brags about the huge audiences watching the show. There’s actually something to that as Nitro was within very close striking distance of Raw for a few weeks around this time. Granted by next week they lost by two points but they were there at this point.

Swinger hammers away even more because he doesn’t know how to do much besides punch. The fans again want Sid but instead get Iaukea missing a dropkick before making his comeback. Cue Vampiro and the Clowns again with Violent J. tripping Swinger, allowing Vampiro to give him the Nail in the Coffin so Iaukea can get the easy pin.

Rating: F. I mean…..dang man. They really are pulling out all of the horrible ideas here to make sure no one wants to keep watching this show. Yeah they tried to push something here with the Clowns recruiting people, but who in their right mind would recruit Prince Iaukea? This is clearly another episode where they’re not trying and expect the fans to just suffer through whatever they’re given and stick around for the main event stuff, despite that plan not working in about a year and a half.

Earlier today, Buff Bagwell was signing autographs when Berlyn came up and spoke German. Bagwell doesn’t take kindly to someone speaking anything other than AMERICAN and goes after him to no avail.

Berlyn video.

Steve Regal vs. Buff Bagwell

Buff starts a USA chant to keep up his xenophobic run. Feeling out process to start as they trade arm control with Regal clearly not going at full speed. A backdrop and clothesline put Regal on the floor, allowing Buff to do some high quality posing. Back in and Buff wins a slugout until Regal drives a knee into the ribs. Dave Taylor loads up the flag shot despite his buddy being in control, only to hit Regal by mistake, which sets up the Blockbuster for the fast pin. So our American hero got beaten up for most of the match and won due to some failed cheating. USA indeed.

Post match Buff grabs the mic and says he loves Miami because it’s part of America. This Sunday, Berlyn will be fighting all of the USA. This would be somewhere around Booking 101.

Juventud Guerrera/Psychosis/Blitzkrieg vs. Kidman/Chavo Guerrero Jr./Eddie Guerrero

It’s a huge brawl to start as this is already moving fast. Juvy and Eddie are left alone in the ring with Eddie taking a powerbomb before it’s off to Psychosis to start some triple teaming. Psychosis crotches Eddie on top and just lets him drop down. That’s a different method of operation instead of like, doing something interesting. Psychosis hits a top rope spinwheel kick (not a plancha Tony) and another triple stomp ensues.

Eddie finally gets a break by grabbing Psychosis’ hands and climbing the ropes into a headscissors takeover to Juvy while wristdragging Psychosis. Guerrero could hit that move like no one I’ve ever seen. He tags both partners and everything breaks down Kidman dropping a guillotine legdrop on Blitzkrieg but it’s off to Juvy for a bulldog out of the corner. He catches Kidman on his shoulders, allowing Psychosis to come in off the top with a missile dropkick for a big crash.

Off to Blitzkrieg for his overly flippy elbow drop before it’s already back to Juvy. Kidman nails the BK Bomb but here are the freaking Clowns again. Everything breaks down again and Juvy pulls Chavo to the floor, only to have Blitzkrieg hit his partner with a dive by mistake. Back inside, Psychosis can’t powerbomb Kidman (he’s no Lenny Lane), setting up the Frog Splash for the pin.

Rating: C. Either do something with the Clowns or stop having them come out so many times a show. They just stand there and then try to recruit some low level cruiserweight to set up whatever big recruitment story they have which isn’t going to make the Clowns any better in the ring. Or interesting for that matter.

Shane Douglas vs. Kendall Windham

Please make it quick. Shane asks the fans if they want a revolution. Kendall doesn’t seem to want one as he elbows Shane in the face, only to eat a gordbuster. The necksnap gets two and they head to the floor with Windham taking over. Shane is sent into the barricade and steps before taking him back inside for a legdrop for two. Kendall takes a quick atomic drop and Shane weakly punches him in the corner.

Here’s Curt Hennig to nail Shane in the back as we cut to a split screen to show the Revolution in the back. They don’t bother coming out or anything, so Harlem Heat comes out and jumps Hennig. Stevie completely misses a slap jack shot to Kendall, setting up Shane’s Pittsburgh Plunge for the pin, even though all four shoulders were down.

Rating: F. It was boring, it was sloppy, it had three people running in and there was no reason for these two to be fighting other than they were both in a battle royal earlier in the night. I’m not sure what the idea was behind the battle royal setting up matches but it feels like they have no idea what else to do.

WCW is giving away a million dollars next week. Given how much money they’ve given away over the years with bad booking, that might be a financial improvement.

Jerry Flynn vs. Barry Windham

Flynn takes him into the corner for a bunch of kicks and punches as he’s doubled his offensive repertoire. More kicks and chops have Barry looking annoyed so he rakes Jerry’s eyes across the top rope. Jerry kicks him even more until Jimmy Hart trips Barry, causing Curly Billy to go after Hart. The distraction sends Jerry after Bill, who blasts him in the head with a title belt. Barry hits a quick DDT for the pin. Thank goodness this wasn’t three minutes long as I don’t think I could come up with a low enough rating.

Clips of Berlyn debuting last week.

Gene brings out Berlyn and gets frisked by one of the security guards. Berlyn’s Lana says every stupid cliché you could imagine about how great Germany is and promises to show America that Germany is just better. Thankfully they kept this short.

Nitro Girls.

Hugh Morrus vs. Perry Saturn

This has to be better right? Morrus hammers away to start and counters a sunset flip, only to miss his sitdown splash. Saturn sends him out to the floor for a breather before punching Morrus instead of accepting a test of strength. Somehow this is already more interesting than what we’ve seen so far tonight.

Back up and Morrus stomps and chokes in the corner but gets pushed into the buckle and punched even more. Even more forearms and punches have Saturn in trouble but he kicks back from the mat. That’s it for his offense for now though as a clothesline sets up a chinlock. This match is dying.

Back up and Saturn hammers away, only to have Morrus bite his face. A gorilla press sets up a top rope splash but Saturn rolls away. Some suplexes have Morrus reeling but Jimmy Hart breaks up a Death Valley Driver attempt. The distraction lets Morrus nail Saturn in the back, only to have him miss No Laughing Matter. The Rings of Saturn finally end this.

Rating: D-. Just end this show already I beg of you. This was by far the best match of the three battle royal fallout matches so far and it’s only because Morrus is the least horrible of the heels involved. What does this prove? That Morrus can beat up Saturn for ten minutes until Saturn hits a quick move for the win? It didn’t work for Randy Savage back in 1995 and it doesn’t make me want to see Saturn fight for the TV Title on Sunday.

Road Report.

Chris Benoit vs. Dean Malenko

Non-title but the winner gets a World Title shot next week. They shake hands hard to start before Benoit takes him down to the mat. Dean does the exact same thing before nailing a shoulder to get us to a standoff. A test of strength goes to Malenko but Benoit monkey flips him for two, setting off a sweet pinfall reversal sequence for several near falls each. Benoit is sent to the apron but gets pulled back inside almost immediately.

Things start getting more intense as Benoit chops away and sends Dean into the buckle. It turns into a slugout with Benoit getting the better of it before we hit a quick chinlock. Thankfully that goes nowhere and they fight over a tombstone with Chris planting Malenko…..as Sid comes out. Benoit misses the Swan Dive, drawing in Sid to powerbomb Malenko and talk trash, giving us a no contest, which should have been a DQ win for Benoit but WCW doesn’t understand how wrestling works. So yes, the ENTIRE BATTLE ROYAL and all those boring matches mean NOTHING.

Rating: D+. I should have known. I mean I really should have known. You knew WCW wasn’t going to give Benoit or Malenko a crack at the top spot in the company because that would be elevating one of these guys, when it’s clear they only exist to make people like Sid look good. The match was getting good until the end, which crippled it more than jumping off the top rope did for Sid.

Video on Hogan vs. Sting.

Video on Page vs. Goldberg.

The cage is lowered, complete with a top on it.

Goldberg/Hulk Hogan/Sting vs. Sid Vicious/Rick Steiner/Diamond Dallas Page

Steiner still doesn’t have the TV Title with him, though to be fair, Hogan doesn’t have his belt either. Hogan comes out first and the fight starts 3-1 with the World Champ in trouble. Goldberg is nice enough to go through his full entrance as his partner gets triple teamed. Apparently Bigelow and Kanyon aren’t pleased with Goldberg’s laziness and jump him outside the cage as we’re waiting on Sting. Bigelow and Kanyon show their stupidity by throwing Goldberg inside the cage and he immediately starts his comeback. He fights out of a Diamond Cutter attempt and powerslams Page before clotheslining the other two down.

Hogan gets back up and the villains are beaten up even worse. The trio starts fighting back as Sting and Luger come out with Lex telling Sting not to go in. Sting doesn’t listen to Luger (would you?) and comes in to clean house again, sending Sid and Steiner running away and leaving Page to get big booted and legdropped for the pin. The ending was odd as Hogan seemed to get up at two and a half while Goldberg and Sting just stood there with nothing to do.

Rating: D-. And now I’m supposed to pay for Goldberg vs. Page this Sunday? He’s become the main event whipping boy in the last few weeks, but at least it’s better than having the young guys doing these jobs. Not that they would ever be allowed near Hogan, Goldberg and Sting of course. This was another massacre with Hogan and Goldberg barely breaking a sweat before Sting came down to take away any possible threat. The main event heels are looking so worthless right now that having any two parts of the holy trinity fighting each other is the only real option they have.

Luger gets in the ring and right into Sting’s face, saying Hogan can’t be trusted. Sting and Luger start fighting as the show goes off the air.

Overall Rating: F-. There have been books written about what killed WCW. You’ll hear reasons ranging from the AOL-Time Warner merger to guaranteed contracts to a lack of elevating new stars. I however offer a new theory: their shows SUCKED. Look at what they presented here tonight and tell me how they were trying to put out a good product. I for one don’t really need to see Jerry Flynn and Kendall Windham working twice in a night but that’s just me.

What on here would make me want to come back? Is it the boring to horrible matches? Maybe the young guys getting crushed? Or is it the Clowns coming out three times a show? It could be sitting through three terrible matches and one passable one to find out that the entire concept was just there for Sid to beat up more young, talented guys. This show drew a 4.1 rating compared to Raw’s 4.4. Next week’s ratings: 6.0 for Raw compared to a 3.3 for Nitro. This show didn’t make people stick around and how can you blame them? Total disaster here and it was clear they weren’t even trying.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #203
Date: August 30, 2015
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 10,605
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’re two weeks away from Fall Brawl and I don’t think we’ve had any matches announced yet. What we do have though is Sid Vicious as the focal point of the company and Sting, Hogan and Goldberg suddenly as best friends against the combination of Sid and Rick Steiner. I keep thinking this show can’t get worse but they keep surprising me. Let’s get to it.

Disorderly Conduct vs. Dave Taylor/Steven Regal

Yes we’re starting with a match and just bring in Sid already. Mike jumps Regal to start but gets taken down by a drop toehold. It’s off to Taylor vs. Tom with Dave hooking a butterfly suplex….and here he comes.

Four powerbombs to Mike and Tom later and Sid is still ranting about being the Millennium Man.

Lenny and Lodi aren’t allowed in the building until Lenny reminds security that he’s the Cruiserweight Champion. It’s not funny or interesting when you watch it either.

Recap of last week’s major events.

Nitro Girls.

Time for a Sid discussion as Tony compares his streak to Goldberg’s. Goldberg won the US Title in his 75^th match, even though Sid is now up in the 80s. Thankfully that means they won’t be stupid enough to have him beat Benoit for the title or anything like that……right?

The Demon will be here later.

Here’s Luger to say he doesn’t buy Hogan’s turn around. Tonight he’ll show irrefutable evidence that Hogan is lying.

Berlyn arrives with security and his version of Lana.

Video on KISS and the Demon.

Scotty Riggs vs. Lash LeRoux

Riggs takes him up to the ropes and smacks Lash in the face as the mind warped fans want Sid. Scotty nails that great dropkick but gets monkey flipped over for his efforts. A jawbreaker and running knee keep Lash in trouble as it’s clear to see why neither of these guys went anywhere. Lash gets two off a sunset flip but takes a pair of clotheslines. Cue Vampiro and the Clowns to watch as Lash gets two more off a northern lights suplex, only to eat a Fameasser for the pin.

Rating: D-. So they interrupt Regal and Taylor after about two minutes but this match gets twice that long? Neither of these guys give me any reason to keep watching, which is exactly why they’re on in the unopposed hour designed to make people stick around when Raw comes on. WCW really needed some major roster cuts around this time to get rid of a bunch of these guys.

Vampiro says Riggs owes him something.

Here’s the Revolution, now with their own shirts. After a lame attempt to get the crowd to care from Shane, Saturn issues a challenge for the TV Title at Fall Brawl and Benoit issues an open challenge for the same show. I really don’t see this ending well for either guy.

Nitro Girls.

Kaz Hayashi vs. Lodi

Lenny’s Cruiserweight Title now has a bow and tassels. He also seems to have a thing for Kaz, which Lodi is totally cool with. Lodi accidentally clotheslines Lenny to the floor, allowing Kaz to botch a headscissors. A slingshot DDT looks far better and gets two with Lenny putting the foot on the ropes. With the match starting to go well, we get a split screen countdown clock for the Mayhem video game, which comes out in October. This will stay up for about half the match.

That earns him a big dive from Hayashi but Lodi gets up and dives onto both of them. Could this be, dare I say, a sign of things to come for Lodi? Back in and Lodi powerslams him for two but Kaz escapes a German suplex and scores with a quick brainbuster. Kaz goes up but Lenny crotches him down, setting up a middle rope bulldog for two more. Lenny comes in…..and gets small packaged for the pin? Sure why not.

Rating: C. So let me make sure I’ve got this straight: they managed to job the Cruiserweight Champion in a match he wasn’t even in? Even WWE can’t pull off that kind of nonsense. The match was actually entertaining with Lodi more than keeping up with the high flier Hayashi. It would seem that Kaz is going to challenge for the title next. That’s fine based on his skills, but this is a pretty big downgrade from Kidman, Mysterio, Guerrera and Guerrero.

Lenny and Lodi lay Kaz out post match.

Here’s Hogan to a massive New York reaction. I’ll give the old WWF towns this: they’re the most loyal fans in the world. If you’re ever over there, you will be until the end of time. It was his son that made him believe in the power of Hulkamania again brother and he would NEVER stab Sting in the back. He can’t wait to see this proof from Luger, so he’ll be sitting in the back, eating fruit (his words) and waiting. Luger better not try to frame him either.

Hogan and Flair have new home videos. I only mention this because a piano starts playing, distracts them, and then stops abruptly.

La Parka/Blitzkrieg vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Eddie Guerrero

Eddie’s stoic look during Rey’s high energy entrance makes me chuckle. La Parka’s skeleton is red and he starts with Mysterio. First up though, it’s time to dance. Rey slaps La Parka in the face and sends him to the floor, bringing in Eddie to throw his partner to the floor for a tornado DDT. Blitzkrieg takes Eddie down and hits a rolling senton followed by a moonsault for two, only to walk into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for the same. Back to Mysterio for a Lionsault on Blitzkrieg before he pulls La Parka down by the mask. A chop puts Rey down and a Hart Attack with Blitzkrieg kicking Rey instead of clotheslining him gets two.

Vampiro and the Clowns come out again as heel miscommunication allows the hot tag to Eddie. Everything breaks down and Eddie hits a gorgeous top rope hurricanrana to Blitzkrieg. Blitzkrieg misses a handspring into a moonsault and gets caught on the top, allowing Eddie to launch Rey into another hurricanrana. Eddie tosses Rey over the top onto La Parka, setting up the Frog Splash to Blitzkrieg for the pin.

Rating: B. Really, really fun tag match here which somehow didn’t even make it four minutes. This continues the trend of letting talented high fliers get into the ring and jump around for a little while. That hurricanrana from Eddie was absolutely perfect and some of the high flying looked great. And somehow it’s all designed to get the Clowns over, because WCW.

Berlyn video, followed by Berlyn and his Lana (Uta Ludendorf), flanked by security. Through the interpreter, Berlyn brags about Germany being awesome and says his wrestling is art. Fan: “WE WANT ALEX WRIGHT!” It’s so loud that everyone in the ring looks over at him. A consortium of German businessmen have turned him into the perfect wrestler and his first victim is Buff Bagwell.

Buff represents everything bad about America and will be a good first victory. The interpreter acknowledges that Berlyn speaks English and has indeed been here before, but that language is beneath him. She forgets her line and says losing is…….it is not acceptable! She’s no Lana.

Fall Brawl video, featuring Savage, Nash, Hart and Steiner.

A banged up Luger comes out and says someone in red and yellow attacked him and went through his bags. No word on if the evidence was taken, or why Lex Luger is in a major storyline in 1999.

Tag Team Titles: Kendall Windham/Barry Windham vs. Prince Iaukea/Kenny Kaos

This would be the WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE THEY THINKING AND WHERE IS THE REMOTE match of the week. Kendall takes Prince up to the ropes as Tony describes the champs as a new duo. That’s up there with Gorilla Monsoon calling Carlos Colon a youngster. Iaukea fires off a quick dropkick but eats a boot to the face. A jumping DDT knocks Prince silly and Kendall throws him outside. Back in and a knee drop retains the titles. No one ever made a tag.

Post match Barry says the champs have no competition, including Harlem Heat. This brings out Booker and Stevie for a lot of kicks, one leading to the referee counting a pin on Kendall. The Rednecks come out and beat down Harlem Heat, including hog tying Booker. The feud continues for some reason.

Here are Luger and Sting to present Lex’s evidence. The evidence is a picture of Hogan standing next to a white Hummer, proving that he was the one that tried to kill Nash. We’re still on that story??? Hogan comes out and says the obvious, that this doesn’t prove anything. Sting believes Luger and questions Hogan, but here’s DDP to nail Hogan before running off. Sting asks Hogan why he should believe him.

Nitro Girls.

Van Hammer vs. Buff Bagwell

The bell rings and that means it’s time to pose. Buff grabs an armdrag and we’ve got Germans. The distraction lets Hammer choke Bagwell (to be fair though, anything shiny, including Berlyn’s head, is going to distract him) but Buff scores with a hiptoss and clothesline. Buff goes up top and gets slammed down from the top by the neck. That’s quite the painful looking move. They head outside for a quick beating from Hammer before we hit the chinlock. Our hero hits Hammer low and gets two off a cross body, setting up the Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D. So let me make sure I have this straight: we’re supposed to care about a guy who used a Blockbuster to win a boxing match beating a guy who used to be a peace loving hippie to set up for his match against what might be a Neo Nazi and used to be a dancer. This is one of those stories that you don’t want to see, and then when you explain it, your head starts to hurt.

Clip of Nash being crushed by the Hummer, nearly three months ago.

Insane Clown Posse CD ad.

Mike Enos vs. Evan Karagias

For some reason Evan wears jeans to the ring and takes them off to wrestle. Evan scores with a pair of dropkicks to start and a third sends Enos to the floor where Karagias hits a fourth dropkick. His springboard dive is caught in midair though and Mike throws him over the shoulder to walk him up the steps and back into the ring. That kind of power display is always impressive. Granted it’s not as impressive as knowing how many seconds there are until Mayhem comes out.

The fans are begging Sid to come out and end this match. Well Enos was in the match when Hall jumped the railing to debut so why not have Sid do it here? Evan hammers away and gets countered into a big powerbomb followed by a powerslam. Mike picks him up off the cover though and hits a wicked piledriver. Good grief Vampiro and the Clowns are back. The Clowns distract the referee, allowing Vampiro to kick Mike in the head, giving Karagias the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t even that bad but my goodness I don’t want to see Vampiro and the Clowns any more. They’ve been out here three times now and we had to see them plug their CD. At the end of the day, they’re not wrestlers and they’re not driving the ratings through the roof, so why does WCW insist on driving them down our throats and give them all this TV time?

Vampiro gets in his face and says Evan owes him. Cue the Demon, who says this isn’t the time for Vampiro. Do they even know what this is supposed to mean?

Hugh Morrus/Brian Knobbs vs. Dean Malenko/Shane Douglas

Because this feud needs to keep going. Knobbs calls the Revolution a bunch of crybabies and you know it’s time for a fight. The First Family takes over and give Douglas the Pit Stop. Morrus and Knobbs hit running splashes in the corner until Dean comes in, presumably out of boredom. Everything breaks down and Malenko puts Brian in the Cloverleaf, only to have to deal with Jimmy Hart. Morrus and Knobbs take Dean down on the floor but Hugh misses No Laughing Matter to Douglas. Shane even dives off the top to take out all the heels but it winds up being a double countout.

Rating: D. WHY IS THE REVOLUTION FEUDING WITH THE FIRST FREAKING FAMILY??? You have the Windhams as the Tag Team Champions (which is an even bigger headscratcher) talking about how they have no competition, but Malenko and Douglas, one of the only face teams on the roster not names Harlem Heat, is busy going to double countouts with Brian Knobbs and Hugh Morrus. We could also have Mysterio and Guerrero challenge for the titles, but they’re busy fighting a pair of non-wrestler Clowns. The more I step back and look at this company, the more my head throbs.

They keep fighting to the back and I hope this doesn’t go on to Fall Brawl.

Gene brings out Hogan to continue this thrilling story about him standing next to a car at some point in his life. He mentions his son (who should never be allowed near a car) and promises to deal with Luger next week. Instead, he wants to deal with DDP calling him out every week. He’s right you know. Starting with this show, Page has…..actually he didn’t call him out as much as hit him from behind. Hogan is a liar. Anyway, Goldberg is supposed to face Page tonight but Hogan wants to take his place in the match. Goldberg comes out and suggests a handicap match, which Page comes out to accept. Another bait and switch.

TV Title: Disco Inferno vs. Rick Steiner

Before the match, Disco says he’s living la vida loca and is pretty fly for a white guy. Dang 1999 was a weird time. Rick comes out and decks Disco with a Steiner Line before ripping at his face. The German suplex sends Disco flying and the Steiner Bulldog ends this in a hurry.

Steiner puts on the armbar but Saturn runs out to superkick the champ to the floor.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Jerry Flynn

Jerry wants the champ to be checked for weapons but it’s a RUSE as he kicks Benoit in the head. Another kick is countered by the dragon screw leg whip because Benoit doesn’t put up with cheating. He drops Flynn over the top rope to send him outside, setting up a nice baseball slide. Jimmy Hart offers a distraction to keep earning his paycheck and Flynn kicks the champ’s knee to take over. He unleashes the kicks but Benoit avoids a big running boot in the corner and fires off chops. Benoit rolls some Germans but the First Family runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. So the Revolution vs. the First Family is more than just the tag feud? Great, the stupidity is spreading. Here’s the thing: you have three members of the First Family in action tonight and they all escape without getting pinned or submitting? Including to the United States Champion? How does this make me care about seeing them again? Am I supposed to care about Hugh Morrus, Brian Knobbs and Jerry Flynn? This company’s priorities are so screwed up.

The Revolution makes the save and Benoit challenges Sid for Fall Brawl. So much for the open challenge.

Goldberg/Hulk Hogan vs. Jersey Triad

Buffer does the intros and Kanyon does his usual schtick. Bigelow hammers Hogan down to start, like 1987 means nothing to him. Hulk comes back with right hands and the Triad is knocked to the floor. The fans want and get Goldberg, who gets to suplex Kanyon. A gorilla press into a World’s Strongest Slam crushes Kanyon again but a Bigelow distraction lets Page come in with a top rope clothesline.

Bigelow pounds away on his back as the Triad starts taking turns. Kanyon’s Russian legsweep into an elbow from Page is good for two, but Goldberg comes back with a double clothesline. The hot tag brings in Hogan to clean house as Tony acts like this has never been done before. Hogan boots and legdrops Bigelow for the pin as Page hits Goldberg with a chair and a Diamond Cutter. Goldberg pops up and Page is terrified.

Rating: D. Here’s the problem with this match: did it ever feel like Hogan or Goldberg couldn’t beat these three on their own? This was just a workout for Goldberg and Hogan before they can get on to something more important. It really shows the gap between the levels of competition as the main event scene is miles ahead of even former World Champions like Page. This was a glorified squash with Goldberg being nice enough to sell for about a minute.

We jump to the back where Sting is asking security if Hogan is in his locker room. My goodness I know Sting is seen as stupid at times but this is ridiculous. Anyway he goes into Hogan’s locker room to find Randy Savage and Gorgeous George to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. More than any other episode, this show was incredibly frustrating and showed that WCW doesn’t care about going forward as much as it cares about keeping the old guys happy. There are so many talented people locked in feuds designed to either keep them busy so they can’t move up the card (Revolution) or so they can babysit niche celebrities who want to wrestle (Eddie and Rey).

On the other side of the card, there’s the story of who was driving the Hummer and is Hogan really evil. That actually isn’t the worst story in the world and I’m kind of interested in seeing where it goes. The problem I have with it is how Lex Luger is the only person showing the slightest bit of common sense or continuity. Hogan has screwed over every major name on the roster at some point (the Fingerpoke of Doom and beatdown of Goldberg was less than eight months ago) and no one but Luger is questioning Hogan whatsoever. That’s hard to accept, at least so quickly.

Overall, the company is running out of gas and is dying for some fresh blood at the top. However, they’re content with Hogan, Goldberg (who is fresh enough), Sting, Steiner and Sid as their top names while the rest of the roster is shackled to whatever stupid stories they can come up with. It’s very clear that Benoit is going to drop the US Title to Sid, because Benoit’s push was clearly just until WCW could find a way to get the title back into the main event talent’s hands so they could “draw” with it. You can see the future coming from here and it’s terrifying.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Thunder
Date: August 26, 1999
Location: Municipal Coliseum, Lubbock, Texas
Attendance: 6,928
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

The date might ring a bell for you because Smackdown is making its debut (other than the pilot) at the same time this show aired. WCW feigned interest in this show by booking two big matches: Harlem Heat vs. Brian Knobbs/Hugh Morrus and Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Sid Vicious/Rick Steiner. In other words, yes, WCW thought Rick Steiner and Sid Vicious were real draws. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Public Enemy vs. Sid Vicious

Yes, Sid is doing a double shot tonight. Rocco bails into the corner to start, leaving Grunge to go after Sid on his own. A big boot drops Johnny and clotheslines drop both he and his partner. Sid takes his time chopping and choking both guys before ramming their heads together. This show needs Heenan to make the joke about how that wouldn’t hurt Public Enemy. Sid isn’t phased by a double clothesline and a double chokeslam ends this quick.

Same Coach Buzz Stern clip from last week.

West Texas Rednecks vs. Filthy Animals

Six man tag with Konnan and Hennig on the floor. The Rednecks don’t have the title belts here because this is taped in advance and WCW just needed to have this match here to mess up continuity. Rey and Kendall get things going with Windham raking the eyes and snapmaring Mysterio down.

Back up and Rey turns on the speed, sliding under the ropes and hitting a nice springboard Thesz press. He hammers away in the corner but Kendall catches him in an atomic drop and tags in Barry. I still can’t get over that Barry Windham is in his second title reign in 1999. Kidman comes in as well for some dropkicks until Barry sends him to the floor instead of, you know, wrestling him. Eddie distracts the referee by mistake and the Rednecks triple team Kidman.

Barry slams Kidman him a few times and it’s off to Duncum for a clothesline, a shoulder breaker, and another clothesline. I’m starting to see why he never went anywhere. Off to Kendall for a big boot before it’s back to Barry, who walks into a Bodog as we take a break. Back with Barry taking Eddie down with a jawbreaker, setting up a belly to back superplex from Kendall. Duncum throws Eddie to the floor for a beating as this match is somehow dragging about seven minutes in.

Barry hits the superplex that used to have Ric Flair in major trouble but only gets two here. Back up and Eddie grabs a quick headscissors, allowing the hot tag to Mysterio. Rey speeds things up with a sunset flip and Kidman adds a cross body to put Duncum down for two. Not a bad spot actually. Everything breaks down and Hennig pulls Rey outside, only to eat a baseball slide from Kidman. Eddie kicks Barry low, setting up the springboard hurricanrana from Mysterio for the pin.

Rating: D+. The ending was better, but the Rednecks are the least interesting group of heels I’ve seen in years. They’re working the old southern style which can work well against high fliers, but the Windhams and Duncum are just not very good. Kendall and Duncum never went anywhere and Barry hasn’t been worth watching in at least eight years. Boring match here that could have been a lot better with more talented heels.

The Rednecks beat on the Animals until Harlem Heat makes the save.

Call the Hotline!

In case two matches weren’t enough, here are Sid and Steiner for a chat. The now 74-0 Sid says he and Steiner are the pioneers of WCW. Indeed they were about ten years ago. They’ve been hearing a bunch of midgets talking about starting a revolution. The two of them are going to enforce their policies, and the first one is to not let the revolution get started. They’ve already taken out Hogan, Sting and Goldberg so the Revolution should be no problem.

Berlyn is still coming.

Cat vs. Prince Iaukea

Miller is in a cowboy hat and says he’s the sheriff around here. Oh geez there’s a bad comedy sketch in there somewhere. Cue Prince, but Miller wants the singer. After some Purple Rain references, Miller says he can beat Iaukea in less than three minutes. The Prince starts fast and knocks Miller to the floor, where Cat threatens to walk out.

With Prince’s back turn, Miller tries to dive back in but lands at Prince’s feet in a funny bit. Normally that would be a problem but Iaukea is so horrible on offense that Cat kicks him down twice and drops the dancing elbow. The sequence works so well that he tries it again but the elbow misses this time. A dropkick and Samoan drop are good for two but Onoo puts Miller’s foot on the ropes. Prince, ever the nitwit, yells at Sonny and gets kicked with the ruby slipper for the pin at 2:59.

Harlem Heat vs. Hugh Morrus/Brian Knobbs

This was supposed to be for the titles but Harlem Heat lost them on Monday, so the entrances are edited out and everyone is in the ring for a big brawl to start. Things settle down to Brian clubberin on Booker until Booker realizes that he actually has talent and kicks Knobbs in the face. It’s off to Stevie vs. Morrus with Ray getting stomped down in the corner. Stevie elbows everyone in sight and tags out to Booker before he has to actually do something.

Booker won’t stand for that though as he fires off a few kicks before handing it back off to Stevie. A cheap shot from Knobbs lets the villains take over and Booker dealing with Jerry Flynn makes it even worse. Knobbs splashes Stevie in the corner and it’s off to Morrus for a chinlock. After two and a half arm drops, Stevie fights up but charges into a knee in the corner. Brian comes in for a double shoulder block but charges into a boot in the corner. There’s still no tag though as Morrus comes in and decks Booker like a good partner.

More double teaming ensues with Hugh tripping Stevie so Knobbs can drop an elbow. We hit a chinlock before more double teaming goes badly for the First Family as Knobbs misses a charge. Booker comes in off the hot tag and cleans house with a bunch of kicks as everything breaks down. With the referee losing track of everything, Flynn low bridges Booker to the floor, just as Stevie sends Knobbs outside. Flynn kicks Morrus by mistake, setting up Booker’s missile dropkick for the pin.

Rating: D-. I know I said the Rednecks were dull in the ring but they’re Lou Thesz and Kurt Angle compared to Morrus and Knobbs. The match was dull with everyone waiting on Booker to get the hot tag. I don’t know what Booker is supposed to get out of pinning Hugh Morrus, but I guess since he’s associated with Jimmy Hart and Brian Knobbs it makes him the second coming of Jerry Sags? I’m not sure if that’s an insult to Morrus or not.

This Week in WCW Motorsports.

More Coach Sawyer, this time with him making his students lift weights.

Disorderly Conduct vs. Dean Malenko/Shane Douglas

Another freaking tag match. Shane gets taken down by Mean Mike’s wristlock to start but nips up and takes Mike into the corner. Much like Stevie, Shane wants his partner to do most of the actual wrestling, though he does help with a double suplex. Malenko stomps on Mike in the corner before drop toeholding him down, setting up a Douglas elbow. Di….did the Revolution just lift a spot from Knobbs and Morrus???

Tom gets in a cheap shot from the apron and a double hot shot puts Shane down. Disorderly Conduct basically does the same things the First Family did in the previous match because seeing it once just wasn’t enough. A front facelock doesn’t go anywhere so Tom heads up, only to get pulled down into an atomic drop and the belly to belly suplex. Malenko comes in and cleans house, setting up a quick leg lariat and the Cloverleaf makes Tom tap.

Rating: D. Well at least it was shorter than the previous match. This show is bordering on a disaster with all the lame tag matches and nothing interesting happening. Shane and Dean are a decent tag team, but I’d like to see them do something of note. I mean, we can’t have them fight the cowboys and win the titles of course because that might be good for them, but there has to be something out there.

Insane Clown Posse video.

Clip of Saturn vs. Steiner from last week.

DDP comes out and says he wants to beat up Goldberg, Hogan and Sting to get the title back. This took three minutes.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Haven’t seen Chavo in awhile. Page makes a Free Willy joke about Chavo’s mom, but Chavo says Page’s mom freed Free Willy. So Page’s mom is a 10 year old boy? It must make sense to Page as he lunges at Chavo in the corner and catches him with a tilt-a-whirl slam. Chavo gets sent to the floor and into then over the barricade. Page changes his mind and throws Chavo back inside and we take a break. We couldn’t take a break in the tag matches?

Back with Chavo trying to speed things up but walking into a spinebuster. A wicked spinning Rock Bottom gets two as Page picks him up off the mat. Page chokes a lot and nails Chavo with a right hand to block a sunset flip. The fireman’s carry into a Diamond Cutter ends this massacre.

Rating: C-. Yeah that’s high but Chavo took some good bumps and I’m a fan of the TKO. I’m assuming they’re building Page up for a match at Fall Brawl, even though he’s been a tag guy for months now. This wasn’t anything interesting but I’ll take an extended squash over another dull midcard tag match.

Sid Vicious/Rick Steiner vs. Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn

Sid threatens to leave if the crowd isn’t completely quiet. Right. The brawl starts on the floor until Benoit takes Sid up to the apron. Steiner breaks up Chris’ suplex attempt to give the old guys control, only to have Benoit counter a clothesline into the Crossface on Sid. You know Sid isn’t going to tap out so Steiner makes the save and we’re already in the chinlock.

Back up and for once, the good guys actually cheat from the apron with Saturn kicking Rick in the back of the head before coming in off the tag. I can’t quite say it’s a hot tag this early in the match. Sid tries to save his dog faced buddy, only allowing Benoit and Saturn to destroy Steiner even more. Benoit grabs an armbar but Sid copies Saturn and nails Chris from the apron. Steiner does his face grab and we take a break.

Back with the villains taking turns choking until Sid puts on a camel clutch. Steiner comes back in and takes Benoit down with a nice amateur move (I’m as shocked as you are) before putting on an ankle lock. He sends Benoit outside for a beating from Sid before the big man puts on a chinlock. Chris fights to his feet and makes his comeback by actually slamming Sid.

Benoit runs to the top for the Swan Dive but Sid rolls away to put both guys down. It’s a double tag to Saturn and Steiner with Perry taking over and hitting his nice springboard clothesline on Sid. Steiner gets tired of not beating people up though and decks Saturn, only to get caught in the Crossface. Sid powerbombs Saturn at the same time though and kicks the referee in the head. Charles Robinson runs in and counts the pin on Saturn.

Rating: C-. The comeback was good but WHY ARE SID AND RICK STEINER BEATING THE REVOLUTION??? We sat through Sid beating former World Tag Team Champions on his own and then he and Steiner team up to beat the US Champion and Saturn? While HHH is defending the WWF World Title against the Rock no less. I keep looking at these matches and wondering how they can validate these decisions and I can’t fathom that they just keep going with it.

Sid powerbombs Benoit to make sure you know he’s better than the US Champion too. Malenko and Douglas run out and for some reason Sid doesn’t get to destroy them as well.

Overall Rating: S. For shaking my head, which I was actually doing after watching this show. Sid Vicious had two wins and a promo in the span of two hours and for what? To build him up to get beaten by Goldberg in the second biggest match on a pay per view? That’s why we’re sitting through this Sid mega push? WCW is willing to crush its Cruiserweight division and probably the midcard for the sake of building up an opponent for Goldberg. I’ve heard of cutting off your nose to spite your face, but this is ridiculous.

Speaking of Goldberg, where was he tonight? Or Hogan or Sting for that matter? They certainly weren’t here, because why would WCW need the three most popular guys in the company on a night when the WWF, who has beaten them eight months in a row now, is debuting its version of Thunder with a World Title match in the main event?

To put this in perspective, when Smackdown moved back to Thursday nights and wanted to put on something special, Daniel Bryan opened and closed the show. When WCW was putting out its big guns to draw a good rating (which you could tell was happening since they had matches announced in advance), not only did they screw one of them up by having the defending champions lose the belts early (because they clearly couldn’t have lost them here), they put Sid on to open and close the show. Therefore, WCW in 1999 views Sid Vicious as their Daniel Bryan. I never thought I would say that, but it seems to be the case.

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Thunder
Date: August 5, 1999
Location: Lacrosse Center, Lacrosse, Wisconsin
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

It’s the go home show for Road Wild and the big story is Hulk Hogan returning to the red and yellow for the first time in over three years and pretty much guaranteeing victory on Saturday. Chris Benoit has also won the US Title and finally broken through at least some of the glass ceiling he’s been hammering away at for years now. Let’s get to it.

We see a package on last year’s Road Wild, set to what sounds like Wrath’s old music. Given that this is WCW, I’m shocked they didn’t bring in some C list musician to perform a special song live.

Opening sequence.

Rick Steiner vs. Spyder

Apparently Spyder would go on to become NWA North American Heavyweight Champion and may have been Eddie Guerrero’s bodyguard from the LWO days. Steiner’s big insult for Goldberg this week: he’s a bald headed dirtbag. He also insulted your title but that’s not important enough to mention here. Rick hammers away in the corner to start before ripping at Spyder’s face. We’re in regular Steiner territory here. A big release German suplex sends Spyder flying and Rick tosses him outside for good measure. He’s sent into every steel object on the floor, setting up the Steiner Bulldog and that stupid arm hold for the win.

Rating: D-. Rick Steiner is a horrible wrestler. His offense isn’t good, he can’t talk, his finisher is stupid and for some reason he’s being rewarded for these performances. If I’m someone like Booker T. or Perry Saturn, why am I even bothering at this point? At least there’s some hope with Benoit, but I have very little confidence in WCW to push two young guys at a time.

Video on Goldberg vs. Steiner. Has Rick beating Goldberg down months ago been brought up at all during this feud, or are we just supposed to remember it?

Jimmy Hart and Brian Knobbs are excited for the career match. Uh….good for you guys.

Video on Nash vs. Hogan with both careers on the line. That’s not really fair to Hogan as he’s putting up two things against Nash’s one.

We see Hogan going back to the red and yellow from Nitro. This show is another big commercial isn’t it?

Video on Page vs. Benoit for Chris’ first title defense. The match is No DQ, likely so we can have a lot of interference so Page won’t have to work too hard, even though he’s more than capable of doing so.

Video on Sting vs. Sid Vicious, which was a big match ten years ago and still is now because they’re still spring chickens in this company’s eyes.

We see Sid promising to destroy everyone to become the Millennium Man.

Sid Vicious vs. Disorderly Conduct

I waited twenty minutes to get to this match? I’m not even going to bother suggesting that this is going to be a big surprise or anything because Sid squashes are actually entertaining in some weird way. He attacks Mean Mike and Tough Tom on the floor before throwing Tom inside for a kind of spinebuster. Mike is kicked off the apron and Sid settles down by just punching (with that weird overhand punch with the big follow through of his) and slapping Tom in the face. The cobra clutch slam to Tom and powerbomb to Mike are enough for the fast pin. Total squash, but I’m not feeling the cobra clutch slam. It just doesn’t fit Sid.

Sid chokeslams Tom like he should have done during the match. He wants Goldberg, but instead of a match that could be fun in a car crash sense, we have to sit through a Goldberg vs. Steiner match that’s going to be more painful than an actual car crash. Yay us.

Booker T. can’t believe that Hogan or Nash will be gone after Saturday. Somehow this is the most interesting moment of the night.

Video on the Dead Pool vs. the yet to be named Filthy Animals, complete with clips from their brawls on Monday.

Benoit does the same thing Booker, Hart and Knobbs did earlier.

Here’s the same video that opened the show. This is such a waste of my time, even when I’m fast forwarding through the packages.

Harlem Heat is ready to take the Triad to 110^th Street.

Here’s the full Booker T. vs. Kanyon match from Nitro because this show is just a big recap with some squash matches anymore.

CALL THE HOTLINE! MAYBE THEY CAN TELL YOU WHEN THUNDER WON’T BE SUCH A WASTE OF OUR TIME!

This Week In WCW Motorsports. For goodness sake come on already.

The West Texas Rednecks vs. the Revolution has been added to Saturday, even though it was fairly obvious.

Hey, you know what would be good right now? Wasting my time with more clips from Nitro, especially if it was a waste of time in the first place. It’s Hennig confronting Chad Brock because…..I really don’t care enough to come up with a reason at this point.

Barry Windham/Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Shane Douglas/Dean Malenko

Somehow, we’re halfway through this show. Look back at what we’ve seen so far and tell me how we could be halfway through this show. The Rednecks come out to I Hate Rap, probably so the fans don’t realize that Good Old Boys is Jeff Jarrett’s old music with lyrics. Windham starts with Malenko but gets stomped into the corner and armdragged a few times. Very Steamboat-esque there.

Malenko makes a rare mental mistake and gets kicked in the face. It’s off to Douglas vs. Duncum with the Revolution staying in for a double elbow to the jaw. What revolutionary cheating. Duncum misses a boot and gets taken down, only to have Shane get caught in the wrong corner as we take a break. Back with Hennig saving Duncum from the Cloverleaf, allowing Windham to suplex Dean in a variety of ways. Not quite 1004 ways but it was up there. A low blow puts Malenko down again and it’s back to Duncum.

Bobby nails a nice shoulder breaker and wraps his legs around Malenko’s head while tagging in Barry. A hard double clothesline puts Malenko down and it’s back to Duncum, who quickly misses a charge in the corner. Shane comes in off the hot tag to clean house with a double noggin knocker and a Thesz Press of all things for two on Bobby. The Rednecks try to interfere but Douglas grabs the Pittsburgh Plunge on Duncum for the pin.

Rating: C-. Match of the night here by about a thousand miles. Douglas looked better here than he has in the rest of his matches since his return, but just like the first praise for the match, that’s not really covering much ground. This was just a way to set up the six man on Saturday, which is fine in theory but I’m not the biggest fan of having most of the people in a match in another match two days earlier. I’ll make an exception on this show though as a watchable tag match is the best thing I’ve seen in nearly an hour and a half.

Post match the Rednecks destroy the Revolution, including Saturn attempting to make a save. Perry gets hog tied for his efforts.

Page is intrigued by the career match too.

Berlyn is still coming.

LONG video on Nash vs. Hogan in case the first five or six mentions tonight didn’t get your attention.

Video on Rodman vs. Savage. It’s 1999 and Randy Savage, Hulk Hogan and Rick Steiner are in the three biggest matches on the PPV card. That tells you almost everything you need to know about WCW at this point.

Clips from Nitro and the Tonight Show for Savage vs. Rodman.

Randy Savage vs. Evan Karagias

Savage, wearing what he considers street clothes (they’re very shiny), asks if we want to know who was driving the Hummer. “The baddest person on the planet, the bodyguard for Gorgeous George and the insurance policy? Well don’t worry about it because I’m going to take care of it.” Evan says he doesn’t like the way Savage has been treating the girls, especially Mona. They don’t deserve to be treated like that, especially by a legend like Savage.

Macho thinks Evan has a lot of guts but promises a Miss Madness 2000 contest, which Mona can enter to get her job back. Savage wants to give Evan props but kicks him in the ribs like everyone expected him to. That’s as close as anyone is going to get to a rub from Savage right now. They quickly head outside with Evan being rammed into the barricade and throw back inside. Mona comes out to cheer for Evan, who avoids a charge into the corner.

Karagias scores with a dropkick and some right hands to send Savage to the floor but he grabs Mona for a shield. She gets away though and Evan hits a nice dive to take Savage out. That’s about it for Evan though as Savage posts him and drops the big elbow. He picks Evan up at two and goes up again, drawing in Mona to try and protect Evan. Savage dives anyway so Mona has to dive out of the way. Macho yells at Mona so referee Johnny Boone jumps on his back, earning himself a piledriver for the DQ.

Rating: D. That’s about the extent of a rub that you’re going to get from Randy Savage at this point….and it could have been much worse. Evan got in some solid offense and had Savage sweating for a bit, which is a lot more than most guys at his level would get. No it wasn’t really competitive or anything, but when you watch guys like Steiner destroying people, Savage looks like the most generous guy in the world by comparison. Savage’s talk before the match wasn’t bad either and Karagias looks better coming out than he did going in.

Savage drops a third elbow and counts his own pin.

We close out the show with the six man from Monday in its entirety and two more Road Wild ads.

Overall Rating: I. For infomercial, because that’s all this show was. This was a big ad for Road Wild, which has one of the most obvious main events I’ve seen in years. You could trim this show down and it would serve as a perfect pre-show on Saturday. This was a big waste of my time and took away what little interest I had in watching the show on Saturday. Let me put this in perspective for you: the best thing about this show was the tag match. The second best thing about this show? How well Karagias looked coming out of a squash. Just think about that one for a minute and you’ll see what I put up with on these shows.

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Monday Nitro #199
Date: August 2, 1999
Location: Sioux Falls Arena, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Scott Hudson

I’m really starting to feel sorry for the wrestlers in this company. They have to work hard and try to carry this show to something resembling wrestling while the old guard just won’t shut up and get out of the way. There’s room for the older generation in a company because the young guys have no credibility without wins over established names, but there comes a point where it’s time to pass the torch. Unfortunately that was well over a year ago. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event stuff in case you’re having a hard time staying awake this week.

Recap of Hogan vs. Nash with Goldberg basically as a plot device.

We see Harlem Heat reuniting on Thunder.

Harlem Heat vs. Kanyon/Bam Bam Bigelow

Non-title with Page not in wrestling gear. Before the match he makes more your mama jokes about Benoit. He goes one step further though by saying David Flair is a better US Champion than Benoit could ever be. Oh you know it’s on now. Well at least Harlem Heat’s music is on, minus the pyro. Also in an amusing bit: Booker told Stevie to take off the black and white to reform the team. Naturally tonight, they’re in black and white.

Page leaves so Booker and Kanyon can have a Raise the Roof contest. Booker cranks on the arm and nails a dropkick before it’s off to his brother. Kanyon is mediocrekicked outside and Bigelow comes in for a power brawl. It’s Bigelow hammering him down until Stevie actually blocks a suplex and takes Bigelow over with one of his own. Booker and Kanyon come back in to try and make this a bit more interesting. Seriously if you have those two in a match, why would you ever let it be Stevie vs. Bigelow?

Anyway, Bigelow offers a distraction so Kanyon can poke Booker in the eye. Another suplex puts Booker down and Bigelow adds the top rope headbutt for two. It’s not quite Benoit, but then again maybe Bigelow’s mama was worse than Chris’. Booker fights up again and hammers away before nailing the flying forearm.

The hot tag brings in Stevie for big boots all around as the fans just not care. Everything breaks down and Stevie breaks up Greetings From Asbury Park. Not a Springsteen fan I guess. The Harlem Sidekick sends Kanyon to the floor and Booker goes up top, only to have Page come out and get on the apron. This brings out Benoit for a save, allowing Booker to dropkick Kanyon for the pin.

Rating: C+. This one is a mixed bag for me as the match was a nice change of pace from the stuff I’ve been sitting through lately, but at the same time I’m really not liking the idea that Booker T. is back in the same tag team he was stuck in for about four years. Harlem Heat used to be great, but I really don’t want to see the team again in late 1999.

Booker is the guy that should be the US Champion, but instead we’re sitting through an angle designed to make Ric look corrupt, even though he doesn’t have the power anymore. Is there a reason why Sting hasn’t done something about that yet? Does WCW even know that Sting has been in charge for like two weeks now? If they do, why hasn’t he like, done something yet?

Benoit wants a match later with Page.

Lenny and Lodi ask Ernest where he shops. Because they’re gay you see and gay men like to shop. HAVE THEY MADE IT CLEAR TO YOU THAT THEY’RE GAY YET??? I DON’T KNOW IF THEY’VE BEATEN IT OVER YOUR HEAD ENOUGH YET SO I THOUGHT I MIGHT SHOUT TO GET IT INTO YOUR HEAD SOME MORE! Did I mention this story is getting on my nerves?

Opening sequence.

Chad Brock will be performing next week. I don’t know who he is either.

Here’s President Sting with something to say. He wants Sid and Steiner out here tonight but needs a partner. The fans chant for Goldberg and Sting seems to think that’s quite a jolly idea. He’ll be back here at 9pm to get Goldberg’s answer.

Sonny and the Cat (sounds like a 1970s Saturday morning cartoon show) come out to rip on Buff’s bunny slippers deal last week. Tonight he’s going to whip someone without his red slippers, so he wants Lenny and Lodi out here right now. If they show up, he’ll tell them where he shops. Apparently this is a match.

The Cat vs. Lenny Lane/Lodi

They’re now wearing glitter and sucking on lollipops. Miller rams their heads together to start and throws Lodi to the floor before beating on Lenny. Lane goes outside as well and we have a chase involving Onoo. Back in and a pair of Feliners drop the brothers so Miller can pin Lane.

Ok, time to pause for a second. Let’s take a look at this. We have two men who are apparently gay, even though I don’t think it’s actually been said yet. On top of that, they follow almost every gay stereotype in the book, ranging from bright clothing to glitter to shopping. Then apparently they’re stupid enough that Miller can beat them both up in less than two minutes because they’re weak fighters. Oh and they’re brothers because why not make an incest joke too.

What in the world is the point of this storyline? If there’s any reason behind it other than to make fun of gay people, I certainly can’t see it. I tend to think that a lot of official statements and complaints from groups due to something they find offensive are stupid and a case where they need to just grow thicker skin, but this deserved every single lawsuit, complaint and raking over the coals that WCW got.

Compare them to the version that came three years later: Billy and Chuck. Now I’m not saying Billy and Chuck were some great leap forward for gay rights, but they were done roughly 19,000% better than Lenny and Lodi. To begin with, they won the Smackdown Tag Team Titles twice. In other words, they actually WON something. Have Lenny and Lodi won a single match between the two of them since this story started?

On top of that, and most importantly of all, they weren’t treated as something horrible and worthless. Yeah they were played for comedy, but the comedy felt much more lighthearted with them. Lenny and Lodi are seemingly getting beaten up because they’re easy targets. Billy and Chuck came off as stupid, but harmless for the most part. This story though comes off as offensive, low brow and really, really hateful. I could have gone with this story until they were suddenly brothers, because that changed this from something amusing to WCW trying to shock people and get a rise out of them.

Here’s Gene, who suddenly loves Hogan again. Okerlund always was a fickle guy. Anyway here’s Hogan in the black and white and a necklace made of paperclips (seriously) but minus the beard. Apparently the chicks have been all over him since he shaved. Sounding like Hulk instead of Hollywood, he talks about bleeding last week and how the cameras had to pan away before kids got scared. Oh come on that cut was so lame that even the Maryland State Athletic Commission wouldn’t have stopped the match. Anyway, Nash is a woman and Hogan is SHOOTING. Nash can have his title shot tonight if he wants one.

Sting comes out to get Goldberg’s answer. We see Goldberg looking at a clock and heading towards the ring, only to run into Rick Steiner before he gets through the curtain. Steiner lures him into a room where Sid is waiting with a snow shovel. Goldberg gets blasted in the head a few times but Sting runs into the back.

This goes as well as you would think it would as Sid and Steiner beat Sting down as well before dragging him back to the ring. Sting fights back but eats a chokeslam, only to have Goldberg run out for the save. You would think a SNOW SHOVEL TO THE BACK from a 6’10 300+lb monster would have more effect than it did in Home Alone but whatever. Goldberg wants to fight and I think we have our main event. This was actually a really well done segment and set up the match quite well. Unfortunately the match is going to be a disaster but the build was good.

Evan Karagias vs. Disco Inferno

Karagias speeds things up to start with some hiptosses and dropkicks. You can tell there’s something here as the announcers actually stop prattling on about the main event to hype Evan. Of course as they do that, Disco comes back with his usual barrage of clotheslines and atomic drops, followed by a middle rope forearm to the face for two. A second attempt misses though and Evan comes back with some right hands and a powerslam. Evan grabs a nice snap suplex but Disco actually uses his experience to hold the ropes to avoid a dropkick. The Last Dance is enough for the pin.

Rating: C. Hokey smoke that was actually entertaining while it lasted. It’s so rare for a match like this to have some thought put into it. Yeah it’s a basic story with Evan being full of fire but Disco using his experience to catch him trying for one too many moves, but the fact that there’s something to a match this short says a lot. I’ve said it time and time again: when you cut out all the nonsense and over thinking of a match and just let guys tell a story, it’s going to be entertaining because most wrestlers on this level are talented enough to make a match work.

Torrie thinks David should only have to defend the title when he feels like it because he’s already beaten everyone. Ok then.

Video on David Flair’s US Title reign.

KISS is here in three weeks.

Nitro Girls.

Sid says…..something in a whisper that I couldn’t understand other than the word Goldberg.

Hugh Morrus/Jerry Flynn vs. Dean Malenko/Shane Douglas

The youth movement is officially dubbed the Revolution. Dean tries a Cloverleaf in the first ten seconds but Morrus makes a fast save. The Revolution quickly clears the ring and stands tall. Well not really but you get the idea. Back in and it’s Morrus gorilla pressing Shane, which I’m sure is Ric Flair’s fault somehow. Shane escapes and dropkicks Hugh down, but that’s enough wrestling for Shane so it’s back to Malenko for a rollup.

Apparently Dean isn’t cool with Shane showing up and jumping into this group with people who have put up with WCW’s nonsense so he tags him right back in. Hugh nails a clothesline but takes too long loading up No Laughing Matter, allowing Shane to slam him down. A double tag brings in Malenko to hammer away on Flynn, only to take another clothesline. Jimmy Hart gets involved by tripping Malenko to the mat before Flynn starts kicking.

We run through the gauntlet of all the standard face in peril spots from the sunset flip broken up by a tag, the referee not seeing the tag and the heels taking turns with really basic moves. Flynn misses his 495^th kick of the match and Dean dives over to make the tag. Douglas cleans house with right hands and a powerslam on Flynn for two. Everything breaks down and the Pittsburgh Plunge is enough to pin Jerry.

Rating: D+. Sweet they have a really simple name now and they even beat a nothing tag team! Clearly they’re ready to move to the top of the company and take over the industry. This push seems to be too little too late as we had to sit through Bagwell’s push just dying and the Triad going over the Revolution time after time, save for I think a three day title reign for Benoit and Saturn. At the end of the day, these guys could light the world on fire but it’s never going to matter because WCW is too busy booking musical acts for the show instead of paying attention to guys working hard to entertain the people.

Malenko takes the Hardcore Trophy from Hart and says he’s bringing this back to Fit Finlay where it belongs.

Speaking of the musical acts, KISS is still coming in three weeks.

Goldberg Megadeath video.

Nitro Girls.

In a bizarre segment, Rick Steiner comes out, throws Scott Hudson into the ring for a belly to belly, and is taken out by security as we take a break.

We come back with Bischoff joining commentary as Hudson is taken into an ambulance. Great, now we get another hour and a half of Bischoff babbling about doing the right thing, which makes me think of Stephanie McMahon’s stupid interviews where she just goes on and on about whatever her latest endeavor is and how important it is while no one else in the world has any idea or cares what the heck she’s talking about.

Sturn comes out for his match and Bischoff immediately starts talking about how Saturn and the Revolution will be taking the company into the next generation. I’m sure that’s why you booked Bagwell vs. Piper in a freaking boxing match a few weeks back and are giving us Hogan vs. Nash at Road Wild while the Revolution doesn’t actually have a match announced.

As if that wasn’t enough, Hennig comes out before the match and rips on Chad Brock for not being a real country singer. So the Revolution can’t get a feud but the freaking country singer can get one? Again, you can see why this company is about to die from here. Maybe Benoit and company should put out a record and get on the radio if they want a spot in the main event. Or they should stop having good matches and turn 40.

Anyway Hennig sends Duncum in to fight and Saturn plants him with a Death Valley Driver immediately. Saturn wants Hennig in there right now because he isn’t a real cowboy. Time for a replacement match.

Saturn vs. Curt Hennig

Saturn is all over him like over the hill wrestlers on an episode of Nitro and quickly knocks him into the corner for some right hands to the face. Possibly too drunk to feel pain, Hennig knocks him out of the corner and nails a quick neck snap. Curt hits his knee lift as Bischoff talks about Hennig in the WWF for no apparent reason. A low blow puts Saturn back down (just make them legal. I don’t remember the last week that went by without one of those happening.) but he rips Curt’s shirt off. Back up and Saturn nails a quick spinwheel kick and the Death Valley Driver but the Windhams run in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was just story development as I’m assuming we’re setting up the Rednecks vs. the Revolution at Road Wild. That being said, it really wasn’t the best match in the world but again, that’s due to the lack of time. I kind of which they could have taken out Kendall Windham instead of Duncum because Bobby actually has some potential rather than just a famous last name, but this went five minutes and didn’t manage to bury any talent or put the first 20 rows to sleep so they’re improving.

The Rednecks try to tie Saturn up but the rest of the Revolution comes in for the save.

Video of Benoit getting screwed out of the US Title last week.

Chris Benoit vs. Diamond Dallas Page

All this over a your mama joke. They spit at each other to start until Page nails him in the ribs and grabs a quick belly to back suplex. Benoit will not be outsuplexed by anyone so he slaps on the Crossface, sending Page scurrying to the floor. Back in and Page nails a quick neckbreaker but the Diamond Cutter is stopped and Benoit grabs the snap suplex.

Remember a year and a half back when these two and Raven were tearing up the midcard over the US Title? Well now Benoit is still the same guy he was before and Page has just been going through the motions for months now, basically wasting all of his time built up as a top guy. Anyway Page elbows him in the face and hits that very nice helicopter bomb (that should be a finisher. It worked in No Mercy so it works in real life) for two.

Another low blow keeps Benoit in trouble and a spinebuster gets yet another two. Page goes up top for the sole purpose of getting crotched and superplexed to put both guys down again. Benoit rolls some Germans but, say it with me, Page hits him low to escape. A Rock Bottom gets two for Page but Benoit plants him with a DDT. The Swan Dive connects as David Flair comes out, only to get knocked off the apron. The distraction lets Page grab a rollup but Benoit reverses into one of his own for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty good, hard hitting match here as Benoit gets a pin over a former World Champion. Like I said it’s a far cry from their great US Title match on Thunder the previous year, but it’s always good to see Benoit get something like this. It wasn’t even that overbooked with just the Flair interference near the end. Now if only Benoit gets to keep this momentum going.

And of course it lasts all of 8 seconds as Benoit eats a two Diamond Cutters plus one off the top as the Triad comes in. David taunts Benoit with the belt, apparently continuing their…..I’m not sure what to call it because a three minute beating with a screwy ending doesn’t sound like much of a feud.

Here’s Savage on his own to talk to Okerlund. He’s suspended his campaign for President (oh darn the luck) because he has to hurt Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash and Dennis Rodman. He wants Rodman out here right now but gets the former Miss Madness instead. Mona begs to be back on his team again so Savage shoves her down to her knees. Savage looks at her and says she’s still fired.

Cue Rodman with the No Limit Soldiers and oh dear goodness why are they mixing these stories? Rodman says George is his now, presumably because once you’ve gone black you never go back. Rodman: “Once you go black, you never go back.” Mona hits Savage low and Rodman comes in for the same offense he had back in 1997 and the fans love it as we go to a break.

Why are these two feuding? That’s a serious question. One night Savage just started talking trash about Rodman and now we’re watching this mess every week. As has been my issue for months, why isn’t this ANY ACTIVE WCW WRESTLER fighting Savage and getting this rub by association? It worked wonders for Page last year but now it’s all about Dennis Rodman for the short term celebrity moment. If nothing else, have some young guy fight with Rodman. Also, who am I supposed to cheer for here? The kidnapper or the woman beater?

Vampiro vs. Eddie Guerrero

Vampiro has Raven and the Clowns with him. It’s amusing hearing Heenan talk about the Insane Clown Posse when he clearly has no idea who they are and would love to rip on them if not for Bischoff sitting next to him. Eddie stomps him into the corner to start as Bischoff tries to apologize for the comments made in the previous segment. I’d prefer he just apologize for the previous segment but I’d rather not hear him talk about doing the right thing again.

A clothesline turns Vampiro inside out but Raven trips Eddie up to take over. Eddie is sent outside and knocks a cameraman over as the Clowns get in some cheap shots. They whip him into the steps before Vampiro and Eddie trade chops back inside. Vampiro gets armdragged off the top and dropkicked over the top, only Shaggy. Eddie hits a great looking dive to put them down again but Raven shoves him off the top, setting up the Nail in the Coffin for the pin.

Rating: C-. Good grief stop with the celebrities! We have Brock, Rodman and the Clowns all on the show plus KISS coming in to perform in a few weeks and getting two separate videos so far tonight. They have such a huge roster but insist on bringing in those people to keep taking spots and going further and further into the hole against Raw. But hey, Bischoff is saying how great the Revolution is so that has to mean something right?

The Clowns beat Eddie down post match but Mysterio comes out for the save.

Berlyn is coming. I actually liked that character.

Hogan comes out for commentary with Bischoff. Oh this is going to hurt.

Sid/Rick Steiner vs. Goldberg/Sting

Hogan’s first gem is about wanting to pass the torch to Sting. There’s a LONG rant about Starrcade 1997 in there but I want to get this over with. It’s a big brawl on the floor to start until Sting suplexes Sid over the top and back into the ring. That lasts all of four seconds before they head back outside and switch things up. I guess these old guys can’t handle having a match at this point. Steiner sends Sting into the buckles back inside before tagging Sid in as the match actually gets going.

Sting takes his second chokeslam of the night but Goldberg makes a fast save. That’s enough for Sting to start a comeback but a splash on the mat hits knees. Sid’s legdrop hits the mat though and Sting loads up the Scorpion, only to have Steiner break it up. Everything breaks down again with Goldberg being sent to the apron. Naturally it’s time to cheat but Hogan takes a chair from Rick and blasts him in the head with it, drawing a DQ.

Rating: D. Standard angle disguised as a wrestling match here with Goldberg never actually tagging in. It’s a shame that the main event is being hogged by these guys but that’s a broken record at this point. This is clearly setting up a big six man followed by three singles matches at the PPV. In other words, Goldberg went from World Champion to gone for months to the TV Title against Rick Steiner while Hogan and Nash have the main event title program because Nash felt like turning heel. This really shouldn’t surprise you.

Cue Nash to powerbomb Hogan through the announcers’ table to end the show. It’s a good thing there were no monitors on the table and that it was clearly gimmicked.

Overall Rating: C-. I hate to admit it but they’re getting a little better. Maybe I’m just numb to how bad WCW is at this point but I didn’t hate this episode. I hated things about it but the wrestling was mostly fine and the stories actually advanced. Granted the stories are mostly about the celebrities and old people but they are indeed advancing. At this point it’s more that you have to just accept what you’re given with WCW because the chances of them getting it right get weaker and weaker every week.

The Revolution stuff continues to frustrate me every week. You can see them chomping at the bit to take over, but they’re clearly running on a treadmill, perpetually stuck being the guys waiting to take over instead of ever actually taking over. Those spots are saved for the guys that were draws before and will be draws in the future because once you’re a draw, you’re ALWAYS a draw, but apparently you can’t become a draw for some reason. Even Goldberg, who was the hottest guy in the world not named Austin last year, is looking more like a catalyst to get to the real main event of Hogan vs. Nash. Better but still weak show here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

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Thunder
Date: July 29, 1999
Location: Mark of the Quad, Moline, Illinois
Attendance: 6,754
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay

It’s another taped show, meaning we’re getting a lot of recaps from Monday’s trip back to the mid 80s. We’re closing in on Road Wild in a few weeks which looks like a more logical (well, more than the rest of the summer) show, albeit far more boring. Maybe they’ll let the wrestling dominate the show and it could be entertaining. And maybe I’ll grow wings and fly through a tree made of locusts and encounter the Great Potato. Let’s get to it.

Tenay and Larry do their usual intro that we can’t see.

We get a LONG video (same one from Monday), detailing the history between Nash and Hogan.

KISS is coming to Nitro on August 23.

The Cat vs. Barry Darsow

Miller says he can win this in less than five minutes. Darsow takes him down by the leg to start like a smart guy should. Back up and Miller goes to the eyes to take over, only to get slammed right back down. Barry slugs him down as the crowd looks at something off camera. More hammering ensues until Miller finally gets in a shot to the throat and chokes in the corner. Onoo gets in a few kicks of his own but Barry grabs a belly to back suplex for two. The referee argues with Darsow over something though, allowing Cat to superkick him with the red slipper for the pin.

Rating: D-. So it’s heel vs. heel with Barry Darsow being the hope for the wrestling world? We’re definitely in the dark days of a taped Thunder here and I can’t imagine things are going to get much better as things go on. Miller needs to do something different in his matches though as this is getting really repetitive.

Goldberg Crush Em video.

We see Rodman kidnapping Gorgeous George on Nitro.

Diamond Dallas Page was on Hollywood Squares.

Buff Bagwell vs. Erik Watts

They pose at each other to start as this really isn’t waking up the crowd. Erik takes him into the corner and chokes a lot until Buff grabs an armdrag. A clothesline puts Watts on the floor before slapping him in the jaw back inside. Buff fires off right hands in the corner but gets dropped down into a hot shot. Riveting stuff here people. Erik hammers away with knees to the ribs and forearms to the back as you can hear the crowd just dying. A bad looking but still acceptable standing moonsault gets two on Buff and we hit the chinlock. Back from a break with the hold still on and Buff’s arm dropping twice.

Watts knees him in the ribs for two and we’re back to the chinlock. Bagwell’s comeback consists of a clothesline and cross body for two before Erik clotheslines him down again. He misses a charge in the corner though, only to hold onto the ropes to avoid a Bagwell charge. A Vader Bomb hits feet though and Buff starts his real comeback. After another barrage of clotheslines and punches, he nails the Blockbuster and gets the pin, despite Cat running down to try to break it up.

Rating: D-. Oh no they’re not trying tonight. This is clearly one of those shows where it’s just thrown together with the hopes that not many people are watching. Considering that we’re over half an hour into this show and everything new so far has been about a bad midcard feud, you can tell what kind of a show we’re in for.

Bagwell nails Sonny after bailing from Miller.

Here’s the whole (albeit short) Goldberg vs. Hennig match from Nitro.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Chad Brock will perform on Nitro, August 9.

Booker T. vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Before the match, Page actually makes Yo Mama jokes about Booker. You think I can make this stuff up? Bigelow misses an early splash but Booker charges into a boot in the corner. The big man hammers away, only to miss the falling headbutt. Booker hammers away but Bigelow swats a kick away and suplexes him down.

Page and Bigelow take turns choking until Booker rolls outside so Page can whip him into the barricade. Back in and Bigelow keeps hammering away until he misses a charge, allowing Booker to side suplex him as we take a break. Back with Booker hitting two kicks, drawing in the Triad for the DQ. The post break stuff wasn’t even 45 seconds, meaning not enough was shown to rate it. It was basically a Bigelow squash until the break though.

Post match the Triad triple teams Booker until Stevie Ray comes out with a chair. After some trash talk, Booker says he wants his brother back but not with that NWO shirt on. Stevie throws it into the crowd and Harlem Heat is back. My goodness we actually had some storyline development on this show.

Here’s everything related to Hogan/Sting/Sid/Nash from Nitro, including the FULL main event. This eats up about half an hour, not counting commercials.

Road Wild ad.

Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Kanyon/Ric Flair

This is the main event people and we have about fifteen minutes left in the show. Flair and Benoit get things going but Page gets in a cheap shot. Everything breaks down for and the good guys clear the ring (of course). We settle down to Saturn vs. Kanyon with Saturn getting knocked down and cradled for two. He comes right back with a low blow and middle rope forearm (nice one too) before snapping off a German.

Here’s Benoit for a backdrop and two before he drop toeholds Kanyon down, allowing his partners to drop an elbow apiece. Dean comes in for his leg lariat as the young guys take over. Page breaks up a belly to back suplex though and it’s a double tag to Saturn and Flair. It’s Saturn taking over and hammering away in the corner until Kanyon gets in a cheap shot, setting up a Russian leg sweep off the middle rope for a nice spot to take us to a break. Back with Page Rock Bottoming Saturn before it’s off to Kanyon for a reverse powerbomb out of the corner.

Page comes back in with a front facelock, setting up the required missed tag thanks to a Flair distraction. Page knocks Benoit and Malenko off the apron before stomping on Saturn, only to miss a splash. The hot tag brings in Benoit to face Kanyon as the Canadian starts cleaning house. Flair and Kanyon are rammed together and the dragon suplex puts Kanyon down again. The Swan Dive connects on Kanyon and everything breaks down. Bigelow’s top rope headbutt hits Kanyon by mistake but Asya gives Flair an object to knock Benoit out, giving Kanyon’s unconscious body the pin.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but it came at the end of a worthless show. However, it’s yet another loss for the youth movement which is more or less done at this point. This worked well enough for the most part and was a decent enough main event, but I was done with this show a long time ago.

Shane Douglas comes out post match and says they’re taking WCW back. Maybe winning a match would help.

Overall Rating: D-. You could also go with a rating of “Nitro” because that’s what this show is about. Thunder has become a two hour version of WWF Metal or Jakked with mostly recaps and matches that don’t mean a thing. Harlem Heat reuniting will be covered on Nitro and didn’t need to be here, especially on a show this worthless. Over a third of the content on this show was spent on recaps from Nitro and another third was dedicated to Bagwell vs. Cat. Let that sink in for a minute.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

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Thunder
Date: July 22, 1999
Location: Mark of the Quad, Moline, Illinois
Attendance: 6,754
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay

Thankfully (I think?) we’re back to a live show this week as we’re getting closer to Road Wild. The main story coming out of Monday is Kevin Nash turning on Hogan for no apparent reason other than the script suggests that we need a heel vs. face title match. Other than that we have Sting in control of the company now, which I barely remember whatsoever. Let’s get to it.

The announcers do their usual intro/hype.

Van Hammer vs. Kaz Hayashi

The Glacier gear is gone. Kaz’s headlock goes as well as you would expect it to and Hammer hits a nice looking gorilla press. Now Kaz tries to slug it out to similar results so he finally dropkicks the knee twice in a row for one, but the kickout sends him flying through the ropes. Hammer runs him over with a Vader clothesline before throwing him right back to the floor. Back in again and Kaz goes after the knee to take the big man down. An elbow drop gets two but Hammer trips his legs to get a breather.

A big old beal sends Hayashi flying and we hit a chinlock. That goes nowhere so Hammer suplexes him down for two but Kaz comes back with every strike he can throw. Kaz actually tries a powerbomb which works as badly as you would expect. Hammer comes back with Snake Eyes and a big boot for two more as frustration is setting in. Back up and Kaz hits a quick bulldog and missile dropkick, only to miss a quick backsplash. A spinebuster and the cobra clutch slam are enough to end Kaz after longer than you would expect.

Rating: C. WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT??? Kaz and Hammer just had a good match that I was actually liking. Granted it’s completely in spite of whatever WCW was trying to do with it as no one is watching this show and it’s in the opening match slot. This was actually entertaining and I had a good time watching it. It had to happen at some point.

Lenny and Lodi are upset about something they have to do later.

The announcers talk about the issues between Savage’s girls.

Brandi Alexander vs. Miss Madness

Alexander is officially “off the independent scene”. Madness is wrestling in a short version of the dress she wears to the ring as a valet. The fans are entirely behind Madness here as she takes Brandi down by the arm. Some dropkicks send Alexander out to the floor and claims a pull of the tights. Back in and Brandi hammers away before throwing Madness across the ring by the hair in a good looking spot. It looks so good that she does it again with Tenay spending way too much time talking about Madness’ long blonde hair.

A hard shot to the face keeps Brandi in control before a clothesline gets two. The fans aren’t pleased with Brandi choking on the ropes but they don’t mind a Boston crab nearly as much. That goes nowhere so Brandi goes up, only to get slammed off the top. A side slam gets two for Madness and a bad looking headscissors sends Brandi down again. Larry: “You gotta get vicious! Pretend there’s a sale!” Madness grabs a suplex but bridges up like a northern lights for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad and was a few light years ahead of what the WWF was doing with its girls at the moment, but it still wasn’t all that great. Miss Madness would get much better as Molly Holly whereas Alexander hasn’t done anything that I can find outside of this and two more matches with Miss Madness later in the year.

A Goldberg video to Crush Em brings out Curt Hennit, who says the Rednecks are much more popular than Goldberg. He’s willing to prove that tonight but thinks we should wait until Monday.

Curt Hennig vs. Chase Tatum

The muscular Chase shoves Curt off to start and knocks him to the corner with a hard shoulder. The Rednecks offer a distraction and Hennig gets in a cheap shot from behind to take over. There’s the Hennig Necksnap and Curt rips at Chase’s eyes for good measure. Curt nails his knee lift and puts on a sleeper but Chase powers out of it again.

Hennig cranks on the leg on the mat as the other Rednecks offer some assistance. Back up and a kind of pumphandle powerslam gets two on Curt but he sends Chase to the floor for a big beatdown. Swoll comes in with the heart “punch” but hits Chase by mistake, setting up the HennigPlex for the pin.

Rating: D. It takes a lot to make Curt Hennig look bad but that’s exactly what Chase just did. Tatum wasn’t anything of note and a generic power guy who probably got this job based on his look. With some more training and experience, he might have fit in with the Natural Born Thrillers in a year or so.

Sid comes up to Lenny and Lodi and wishes the luck in their match tonight. The brothers ask Jimmy Hart for help but he just suggests having a doctor at ringside.

We get a clip of Booker T. saving his brother from the Triad on Monday.

Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Psychosis/Juventud Guerrera

Rey and Juvy get things going but Guerrera quickly tags out. Mysterio tries to deck him as he leaves so Juvy gyrates a lot on the apron. Juvy comes back in without Psychosis doing anything and they trade wristlocks. It’s quickly off to Psychosis again who misses a charge and hits the post to give the good people an early advantage. Eddie comes in and takes Juvy down to the floor before backdropping Rey into a moonsault for an awesome spot. Back in and Eddie throws Guerrera outside again, only to have to bail out of a dive.

We take a break and come back with Rey in Psychosis’ abdominal stretch. That boring hold is upgraded by Psychosis loading him up for an Outsider’s Edge and Juvy coming in with a guillotine legdrop for two. Back to Psychosis who charges into Rey’s boots, allowing Eddie to come in and clean house. Everything breaks down and Rey nails Eddie by mistake, only to have Eddie throw him at Juvy for a headscissors. They’re not done yet though as Rey puts Psychosis on top and throws a charging Rey up for a super hurricanrana and the pin.

Rating: C+. Total spotfest here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Guerrero was basically just a guy there to throw Rey around for the high spots though, which is kind of a waste as the team got together because of Eddie having issues with the other luchadors. Still though, entertaining stuff with some great high spots.

We see Lex Luger, Savage and Gorgeous George on Arliss this coming Sunday.

Here are Savage, Miss Madness and Gorgeous George with something to say. Savage asks for our votes in the 2000 election but quickly moves on to Rodman, ripping on him for wearing women’s closing and hitting him with a purse. Miss Madness is fired for trying to upstage him, meaning Savage rips off her sash. She gets down on her knees and begs for her job but Savage fires her anyway. Savage hasn’t forgotten about Nash either.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Sick Boy

Rick is defending if that’s not clear. Before the match we get the usual catchphrases from the champ and he wants a piece of Goldberg. They circle around each other for a bit until Rick nails a hard Steiner Line. A release German suplex sends Sick Boy flying and Rick rips at his face on the mat. The Steiner Bulldog ends this quick.

We recap the Nash vs. Hogan stuff from Monday.

Nash calls in to the show and challenges Hogan to a tag match this Monday with partners of their choice. Kevin’s partner is a buddy of his that he’s known for nine years. Of course they’re hinting at Hall and I’d be stunned if it was actually him. Nash brings up his history with Hogan and says he only let him into the NWO so he could keep an eye on Hulk, because Hulk has a history of being a backstabbing jerk.

Video of Sting beating Flair with Bischoff counting the fall.

Sid Vicious vs. Lenny/Lodi

A chokeslam plants Lodi in ten seconds and Lenny takes a boot to the face. Sid hits a cobra clutch slam on Lenny, which is another way for Sid to do a chokeslam. Powerbombs for both guys set up a double pin. So the gay brothers are getting beaten up by a monster for no apparent reason. I’m sure this will be well received.

Dean Malenko vs. Ric Flair

They start faster than you would expect with Dean getting dropped by a shoulder, only to have him take Flair down with a quick drop toehold. An early Cloverleaf attempt doesn’t work so Dean hammers Ric out to the floor for a breather. Back in and Dean hammers away in the corner but gets suckered into a thumb to the eye. Ric snapmares him down, only to miss the knee drop. Dean channels his inner Flair and slaps on the Figure Four, only to crawl over to the ropes for a break.

Back up and Dean is sent to the floor as we take a break. We come back with Malenko in full control and sending Ric into the corner for a Flair Flip. Dean works him over on the floor until Asya offers a distraction, allowing Ric to take over with a cheap shot. A Figure Four attempt is countered into a small package but Asya has the referee. Flair counters everything Dean throws at him, including a belly to back suplex to break up a headlock.

Another Figure Four attempt is blocked and Malenko comes back with the leg lariat. Flair tries to bail but runs into Benoit and Saturn. This brings out Bigelow and Kanyon for a brawl but Dean puts on the Cloverleaf. Page comes in from behind to break it up but gets shoved into Asya, only to have Flair grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was fine due to the talent level in there and I liked the idea they were going for with Flair being more experienced and polished than Malenko, allowing him to counter everything Dean threw at him. The ending was overbooked but at least Dean didn’t lose entirely clean.

Overall Rating: C. At this point, Thunder can only really be judged on what happens in the ring. In this case, the wrestling was watchable enough to get through two hours but there’s almost no reason to care about anything. Considering that the matches are almost never referenced on Nitro and nothing here mattered, it basically boils down to whether or not you liked the wrestling. It was decent enough this week so we’ll go right in the middle.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/28/holiday-sale/