Impact Wrestling – November 24, 2016: No Thank You

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 24, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s a holiday show and that means a lot of things could happen. In this case we’re also going to bear witness to Matt Hardy’s Ice Cream Social because this show is whatever the Hardys come up with to be all zany. As far as wrestling goes, we’ve got Ethan Carter III vs. Eli Drake with title shot vs. Drake being allowed to talk on the line. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the DCC attacking and defeating Eddie Edwards and Jeff Hardy last week.

Here’s Jeff to open things up in the arena. Jeff says today is all about family and while he’s not at home, the Creatures are still his family. As much as Jeff wants to jog Matt’s memory, he needs to deal with the DCC right now. Cue the DCC on screen to say they’re many, and can destroy the obsolete later tonight in a No DQ match. The unmasked men come to the ring but Jeff gets in a few shots and bails like a wise man.

At the Hardy Compound, Senor Benjamin is reading an adult magazine and Vanguard I is drinking lemonade. Matt goes off to set up for the Ice Cream Social and Vanguard I is worried that Matt will never get his memories back.

Andrew Everett/Trevor Lee/Marshe Rockett vs. Go For Broke vs. Rockstar Spud/Decay

Elimination rules meaning all three have to be eliminated (And NO, this isn’t TNA using a WWE idea. I need to stop being a WWE fanboy and shut up and enjoy this amazing concept!) and non-title since there isn’t a title for this Team X Gold thing. Mandrews, Steve and Lee start things off with the Brit cleaning house.

Spud comes in and gets slammed by six different people without an ejection because the rules are only enforced when it’s convenient. Abyss even gets in a slam on Spud because well why not. A missile dropkick puts Abyss down but Mandrews’ followup doesn’t work quite so well as he crashes to the floor. Abyss hits him with a chair and that’s a DQ. Oh wait it’s an EJECTION instead of a DQ. Ignore the whole rules being broken because apparently DQ’s have been replaced by ejections.

Mandrews taps out to a crossface chickenwing a few seconds later and Josh goes on a limb suggesting that the team with three members is in control at the moment. Everett moonsaults onto Steve for an elimination, only to get caught in the DJZ for an elimination almost immediately thereafter. So it’s DJZ/Sutter vs. Lee/Rockett vs. Spud. Sutter’s Flatliner gets rid of Lee but Spud and Rockett get in an argument over who gets to beat up DJZ. Unfortunately Spud realizes he has no partners left so it’s a kick to Spud’s face and a Rock Bottom for the elimination. Another Flatliner gives Sutter the final pin at 8:07.

Rating: D+. This is one of the dumbest concepts TNA has ever had and that’s saying a lot. There’s no structure, the rules make little sense (Hitting someone with a chair in front of the referee is a DQ. Stop trying to make this more complicated than it is.) and one team has completely dominated the whole thing. I really don’t get what they’re going for here but it’s falling really, really flat.

Allie is playing with dolls and talking about Thanksgiving when Maria and Laurel Van Ness come in. They rip on Allie for being stupid and Maria says Allie will be serving them dinner on their double date. Are we just supposed to forget Allie standing up to Maria a few weeks ago?

Matt says his food will make Robert Irvine’s cooking obsolete, sending Vanguard I a shot of hope. The first guest, a referee, comes up and has some tapes to show Matt.

It’s time for Thanksgiving dinner with Allie dressed as a Pilgrim. She doesn’t want Braxton Sutter to see her like this so guess who Laurel’s date is (Braxton has apparently taken the fastest shower in wrestling history as he looks fine here). Laurel and Mike Bennett say what they’re thankful for and Maria yells at Allie for trying to speak. Van Ness hits on Braxton and Allie finally snaps, calling Laurel a big meanie (Is there any wonder why she’s the most over person on the roster?). Maria gets pied and that’s about it. There was a chance for a followup there but since it’s TNA, we just go to the next segment.

Carter and Drake are ready for their main event tonight.

Matt looks at clips of becoming World Champion and can’t believe he was that violent. Reby doesn’t know what to do now.

Ethan Carter III vs. Eli Drake

Title shot vs. being able to speak for the rest of the year. They start brawling on the floor for a bit until Carter hits a dropkick inside to take over. Drake slowly pounds away but gets clotheslined right back to the floor as we take a break. Back with Drake being sent into the steps but he snaps Ethan’s throat over the top. We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by a powerslam for two on Ethan.

With nothing else to do, Drake grabs a microphone and talks trash while stomping away. He slaps Carter in the face a few times but gets caught in the TK3. The 1%er is countered into a torture rack neckbreaker but Carter comes right back with a frog splash for the same. Blunt Force Trauma gets two for Eli and the 1%er gets the same. The rear naked choke makes Drake tap at 16:04.

Rating: B-. Not bad here as Drake continues to look good, though I have no idea where this rear naked choke came from. Carter just started using it a few weeks ago and now it’s some devastating finisher. Drake not being able to talk could be rather entertaining but I could go for him winning a big match for a change.

The Hardys hypnotize Matt to fix him. Well that’s underwhelming. Another snap of the hypnotist’s fingers turns Matt back into his one true self, meaning the one who doesn’t like wrestling.

Al Snow/Mahabali Shera vs. Tribunal

Snow and Baraka start things off with Basile yelling about the old man. The trapping headbutts have Snow in control and it’s off to Shera for the dancing. Thankfully that doesn’t last long and it’s back to Snow, who gets caught in the wrong corner. That only lasts a little while as well before it’s off to Shera for the Sky High and another near fall. Everything breaks down and the Snow Plow is broken up, leaving Baraka to hit Snow with a foreign object for the DQ at 6:34.

Rating: D-. THIS FEUD IS SO BORING! I can only imagine this feud is to appease the Sony Six audience as Shera is little more than a goon while Snow is a role that could be played by anyone else. It doesn’t help that this story has been going on and off for the better part of six months now with almost no advancement.

Grado and Robbie E. are put in a turkey suit match to bring back a tradition.

Grado vs. Robbie E.

They slug it out to start with Grado getting the better of it off the snap jabs. A double clothesline puts both guys down as this is a little less funny than I was expecting. Robbie grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:39.

Aiden O’Shea comes out to make Grado put on the suit and dancing ensues. Total waste of time here but at least it wasn’t Al Snow and the Tribunal.

Rosemary is ready for her cage match next week.

Jeff Hardy vs. Bram

Anything goes. Jeff knocks him to the floor to start and hits a dive, only to have to back off from the DCC. Back with Bram charging into boots in the corner but Storm comes in, which makes perfect sense. Well save for him waiting five minutes to interfere that is. Jeff makes another comeback but has to deal with Storm while Bram goes outside for a chair. The Whisper in the Wind gets rid of Storm and the Twisting Stunner gets two on Bram. A quick Last Call knocks Jeff into the Brighter Side of Suffering for the pin at 11:56.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. This was much more storytelling than a match as Jeff needs backup to help him fight off the odds (Where was Eddie Edwards tonight?), preferably in the form of his brother. There wasn’t much to this one and that’s fine enough, especially when it’s a story instead of a big match.

The DCC poses with the titles.

Reby is at her wits’ end with Matt but he just can’t remember what’s going on. Matt storms out of the house freaking out and asks the seven deities to send him a sign. He is then hit by a bolt of lightning, which turns him back into Broke Matt.

Overall Rating: D. Same problems as usual for TNA here: too much Hardy (though his normal self was making me chuckle) and a horrible lower card dragging down the good things this promotion does. Team X Gold gets more annoying every single time as there’s almost no consistency, let alone a point, to the whole thing. It also doesn’t help that TNA doesn’t really have anything to build towards since they only have Impact at the moment. I’ve seen worse episodes, but this wasn’t very good.

Results

Go For Broke b. Decay/Rockstar Spud and Marshe Rockett/Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett – Flatliner to Rockett

Ethan Carter III b. Eli Drake – Rear naked choke

Al Snow/Mahabali Shera b. Tribunal when Baraka used a foreign object

Robbie E. b. Grado – Rollup

Bram b. Jeff Hardy – Brighter Side of Suffering

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Impact Wrestling – October 6, 2016: Howl With Me

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 6, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s the start of a new era for TNA as we’re straight off Bound For Glory with the big story being Lashley holding onto the TNA World Title. Other than that we have new Tag Team Champions with the Hardys defeating Decay in the Great War and the first ever Grand Champion in Aron Rex. Everything starts fresh tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with a montage from Bound For Glory.

Here’s Lashley to open the show with a smirk on his face. Lashley brags about how he beats everyone in the company and is the man around here because of this belt on his shoulder. No one can beat him but here’s Aron Rex to interrupt. Rex used to be smart so he’s going to try to do the math. Grand Champion sounds a lot better than World Champion so Rex sees himself as the man around here.

A fight is teased but here’s Gail Kim to interrupt. TNA would make her World Champion in a heartbeat so I shouldn’t be surprised by this one. Gail says it’s 2016 and the women are changing the game around here so she’s the face of the company. This brings out Matt Hardy with Reby and Maxill (no Jeff and Matt has both belts) to say TNA is now a broken company. Preach it brother.

Matt is always ready to delete (repeat five times) but here’s DJZ to give us all the titles in one ring. DJZ mentions something called Team X Gold but Lashley cuts him off and says he’s got a fight coming up and doesn’t have time to waste with second rate title holders. Now it’s Billy Corgan coming out with Aiden O’Shea (Remember him?) to congratulate all the champions.

All of the champions will be in competition tonight (Matt: “WONDERFUL!”) and Lashley doesn’t care who he’s facing tonight. All the titles will be on the line tonight, except for DJZ because he helped to introduce Team X Gold. Wait are they having X-Division Tag Team Titles? For the love of all things good and holy, WHY??? Anyway Lashley is given three options to face tonight but first up it’s Team X Gold.

Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett/Marshe Rocket vs. DJZ/Mandrews/Braxton Sutter

Everett and Mandrews start things off with Mandrews hitting a moonsault into a basement dropkick. Rocket, a good sized guy, comes in and kicks Mandrews in the face to take over. It’s off to Lee vs. Sutter with Braxton getting in a kick to the face until Rocket comes back in with a powerslam. DJZ comes in for some clotheslines on Rocket but the champ gets kicked in the face. It’s quickly off to Everett, who moonsaults into raised boots. A quick tag off to Mandrews sets up a shooting star press to pin Everett at 5:27.

Rating: C. Oh sweet goodness TNA what are you doing? I get the idea here (capitalizing on the success of the Cruiserweight Classic) but my goodness could they come up with something a little better than throwing six guys out there with little to no connection and having a match?

Normally I would ask if they had learned anything from WWE’s mistakes in the cruiserweight division but of course they haven’t because they think it’s a good idea to have a full six man tag division when they can barely do a singles division. Rocket looked impressive here and has star power but this is just more stuff that doesn’t solve the problems the X-Division already has (no stories, no characters etc.)

One of Lashley’s potential opponents is Moose, who says Lashley is scared of him.

It’s time for Fact of Life with Eli Drake and now he’s got a set outside the ring. Drake brings out Ethan Carter III, who had a rocket shoved so far inside him you would think he’d spit out rocket fuel. Eli won’t let Ethan talk as he comes up with ways to call Ethan a loser. Ethan says he lost at Bound For Glory and says his passion has been replaced by anger. If Drake pushes the button one more time, Ethan is going to eviscerate him and he even gets on his knees to beg Drake to hit it again.

Drake shoves the button away and talks about getting into TNA because of something called the Rising. He’s been hearing about how he’s not in Ethan Carter’s league because Carter has been handed every opportunity. That’s it for the interview, which means we don’t get an explanation for how Drake grew a full head of hair and a beard in four days.

Maria Kanellis yells at Allie over screwing up on Sunday. Sienna and Laurel Van Ness talk Maria out of firing her because they need someone to carry their bags. Sienna will get the title back tonight and Allie better not mess it up.

Eddie Edwards says Lashley sees him as the easy match so please pick him to give Lashley the easy title defense.

Video on Gail Kim’s Hall of Fame induction.

Knockouts Title: Sienna vs. Gail Kim

Gail is defending and Madison Rayne is on commentary (with her husband Josh Matthews). Sienna knocks Allie into Gail to knock her off the apron before driving the champ back first into the apron. They head inside with Gail escaping the AK-47 but getting caught in a reverse powerbomb for two. Gail ducks the Pounce and rolls Sienna up to retain at 3:04.

Rating: D+. This match sums up so many of the problems in TNA in one match: a lack of emotion. There’s no reason to care about Gail other than she’s been here for a long time. There’s no reason to care about Sienna because she had the title and then lost it after doing a total of nothing as champion. Combine that with a nothing match that gets no time and what is there here to get excited over? The problem is that’s the case with the majority of what TNA does and it gets really tiresome.

Maria and company come out to beat on Gail. With Sienna holding Gail, Maria says her rematch will take place next week in a No DQ match. Madison is downright annoyed over this. I mean, she’s not going to do anything about it but it’s certainly ruffled her feathers.

Ethan Carter III is the third option and doesn’t think Lashley will pick him. If Lashley wants a real fight though, pick him.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Decay

This is a Wolf Creek Cage Match, meaning a weapons cage match with a win by escape only and a name tied into one of Pop’s shows. It’s a brawl to start with Jeff stapling Abyss in various places. Steve climbs the cage and gets a grappling hook of all things to pull at Matt’s mouth. A kendo stick shot to the back puts Matt down but the Hardys come back with shots of their own.

Matt grabs a CHAINSAW to knock Steve down but Abyss cleans house again. Rosemary stops Jeff from escaping and we get another catfight on the floor. The video freezes for a few moments and comes back on a commercial. We come back from a break with the next segment and no mention of who won. According to TNA’s Twitter, the Hardys won at we’ll say about 9:00.

Rating: D. Lack of an ending aside, this was a really boring cage match with Josh talking about Wolf Creek every few seconds. The problem is when you take away the Final Deletion stuff, Matt and Jeff are two middle aged wrestlers who don’t have anywhere near the spark they used to have, leaving us with really dull matches.

Here are Cody and Brandi Rhodes for their big formal introduction. Cody talks about how the game is changing and lists off some things from Bound For Glory. He talks about the list (a list of things he wanted to do in wrestling) being his guiding light with names like Mike Bennett making him want to keep going.

After a quick Brandi chant, Cody says maybe he should have put the TNA World Title on the list because that’s the Queen’s jewels and the Master Sword. This brings out Mike Bennett and Maria with Bennett not being pleased with Cody being handed a title shot. When Mike got here, he was told that people aren’t just handed title shots so he was ready to earn it. Mike mentions the idea of fighting Cody and that’s enough for the man without a last name. The brawl is on the Bennett bails in a hurry.

Post break Cody says he wants Mike Bennett next week.

O’Shea stops Maria from going into Corgan’s office and calls her toots. Corgan has a message for her though: if she loses her title rematch next week, she’s out of power in the Knockouts division.

Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Baron Dax

Rex is defending and we’re back to three minute rounds. The champ gets a headlock to start but walks into a pair of neckbreakers. Josh calls this controlling the action because TNA likes to brand the simplest of things because WWE does it and that means it’s a good idea. We hit the chinlock on Rex before Dax hammers away to end the first round. Baron wins the first round and he’s in early control of the second as well. Rex elbows him down and grabs the Royal Arch (Edgecator, though it sounds like a big McDonald’s sandwich) for the submission at 4:18.

Rating: D. So the five minute rounds were just for Bound For Glory and not for the rest of the title matches? But hey, at least we get TEAM X GOLD, which is supposed to be entertaining for whatever reason. This isn’t an interesting concept and I was hoping they would drop it soon enough but let’s just keep it going no matter what because TNA needs to evolve the business by having Rex beat a tag team jobber in four minutes.

Rex says this is changing the business.

Lashley and the three potential opponents come out for the main event. Lashley takes his time and goes over each opponent before picking……Eddie.

TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards

Lashley is defending but misses a spear at the bell. A release German suplex flips Eddie over though and a delayed vertical suplex makes it even worse. Eddie’s hurricanrana is countered with a powerbomb but he gets in a few kicks to the face. Now the hurricanrana brings Lashley off the middle rope and the champ is in trouble. The Boston Knee Party misses but Eddie sends him outside for the suicide dives, only to miss the third one and crash into the barricade. Back in and the Boston Knee Party out of nowhere gives Eddie the title at 7:50.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it’s a really entertaining moment and that’s more important. Eddie getting the belt is a good idea, though couldn’t they have done this at Bound For Glory where it would have felt more important? Or, you know, not have had Eddie lose on Sunday? At least it felt important and big though while giving us something fresh. As long as they don’t change the title right back, this should be find.

Next up on Pop: Wolf Creek. Why do I have a feeling the choice for the title isn’t a coincidence?

Overall Rating: C-. Main event aside, this show did very little to fix TNA’s major issues. I still have very few people to care about around here and it’s not really getting much better. Between the new Grand Championship division and apparently an X-Division trios division (because reasons), it feels like they’re just throwing stuff out there. There’s really no main event story and there hasn’t been anything personal around the World Title in a long time. You need something people can connect to because average wrestling isn’t going to cut it these days. It’s not a bad show but very little I can connect to.

Results

DJZ/Mandrews/Braxton Sutter b. Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett/Marshe Rocket – Shooting star press to Everett

Gail Kim b. Sienna – Rollup

Hardys b. Decay – Hardys escaped the cage

Aron Rex b. Baron Dax – Royal Arch

Eddie Edwards b. Lashley – Boston Knee Party

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Bound For Glory 2016: And That’s That

Bound For Glory 2016
Date: October 2, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s the big night for TNA and the question looming is more about the future than anything else going on tonight. As for this show though, we have Ethan Carter III challenging Lashley for the TNA World Title, the crowning of the first TNA Grand Champion and the Great War between Decay and the Hardys for the TNA World Tag Team Titles. Let’s get to it.

We open with Matt Hardy and his son Maxell playing the piano. Matt stops to read a story, which serves as our opening recap for all of the matches.

The announcers welcome us to the show.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. DJZ

DJZ is defending and this is a bonus match because the TOTALLY IMPORTANT X-DIVISION didn’t have time to get a match announced on TV. Lee gets taken down with a wristlock and we get a breather on the floor. Back in and a dropkick makes things even worse for Lee but he gets in an uppercut to take over. A running kick to the face has DJZ in even more trouble but it leaves him on the floor to frustrate Lee a bit more.

The champ is thrown back in and grabs a flapjack, followed by a top rope hurricanrana to make it even worse. They trade dives with Lee getting the better of it but DJZ reverses a German suplex into a reverse hurricanrana. The ZDT is countered with the double stomp but DJZ reverses a suplex into a Canadian Destroyer of all things. Now the ZDT connects to retain the title at 11:08.

Rating: B. See, this is what’s so frustrating about the X-Division: if TNA will actually give them the time, they can have a fast paced match like this one. However, no one is going to be able to entertain on a regular basis when they’re getting three minutes with no reason for these people to be fighting. Just give them a chance and they can do their job. That and don’t have a main eventer steal the title for the sake of a World Title storyline that cuts the legs off whatever the division has built up for months.

Drew Galloway says he’s out for a long time and he’s very mad at TNA for making decisions for him. He goes into a rant about Billy Corgan not being allowed to tell him not to go on because Corgan would perform if he was told not to. Drew also slips in that Corgan is trying to buy the company.

Bound For Gold

This is a gauntlet match with the winner getting a future World Title shot, albeit with a one week warning. It’s a Royal Rumble to start until we get down to two people when it becomes a regular match. Jesse Godderz is in at #1 and Rockstar Spud is in at #2. Godderz dominates to start and after a minute and a half, Braxton Sutter is in at #3.

Spud’s double clothesline has no effect but he fights off an elimination until Eli Drake is in at #4. Drake throws Sutter out and the fans do his YEAH catchphrase to mess with Eli’s head. Robbie E. is in at #5 and the BroMans start cleaning house, only to have Robbie try to throw Jesse out. Jesse doesn’t take kindly to this and it’s Baron Dax in at #6.

No one is thrown out and it’s Grado in at #7, only to have Drake throw him out in two seconds. The BroMans double team Drake and Basile Baraka is in at #8. The eliminations start speeding up as Baraka, Dax and Robbie are eliminated in very short order. Tyrus is in at #9 and the monster starts cleaning house. Spud tries to hug him, earning himself a quick elimination. Spud: “WHY?????”

Mahabali Shera completes the field at #10, giving us a final group of Shera, Tyrus, Godderz and Drake. Tyrus slams into Shera and throws him out to get us down to three. Drake is sent over the top but hangs on by his ankles, leaving Tyrus to give Godderz a World’s Strongest Slam. A few dropkicks stagger Tyrus but Drake sneaks back in for the double elimination at 15:08.

Rating: D+. It was boring but this was WAY better than last year’s version. Last year this took up nearly twenty five minutes and was won by Tyrus. This year took up nearly ten minutes less and was won by ANYONE but Tyrus, making it better by definition. Drake winning is by far the right call and I’d love to see him move up to the main event. He’s one of the most consistently entertaining people on the roster.

Celebrity chef Robert Irvine is here to watch Gail Kim be inducted into the Hall of Fame. Maria and Mike Bennett come in to say tonight is about them.

We recap Mike Bennett vs. Moose, which is an old standard with Bennett bringing Moose in and then taking him for granted. Moose isn’t going to take orders and is ready to fight for himself tonight.

Mike Bennett vs. Moose

For some reason Moose gets a full special entrance as a football team in full pads comes out to shout that it’s game time. Bennett hammers away to no avail to start, allowing Moose to dropkick him off the top. Mike slides back in for a running flip dive but Moose throws him ribs first into the post. The monster’s knee is sent into the steps though and Mike stomps away to take over.

Moose fights up again and hits some running clotheslines, followed by a very hard clothesline. Mike comes back with a tornado DDT and a piledriver for two. Even more clotheslines have Bennett reeling but he catches a top rope clothesline in a cutter. That goes nowhere as Moose grabs the chokebomb and hits a discus lariat for the pin at 10:10.

Rating: C-. This was just there and Moose uses WAY too many clotheslines but it was entertaining enough. The problem is they never sold me on the personal animosity. It felt like they pulled the plug in a hurry for the sake of setting up a Bound For Glory match even if it wasn’t time yet. The match was watchable (overuse of clotheslines aside) but it never got beyond ok.

Aron Rex has had to change his gameplan for Eddie Edwards. They were trained by the same man and Rex is here to prove he’s a champion.

Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Eddie Edwards

For the inaugural title and the rounds are now five minutes long instead of three. Feeling out process to start with neither being able to go anywhere in the first two minutes. Eddie snaps off a hurricanrana but gets caught in the Russian legsweep. Rex is sent outside for a big flip dive and both guys are down. A few more shots have Eddie in control and round one ends.

Eddie wins the first round so Rex is much more aggressive to start the second round. Some hard chops have Eddie in trouble and Rex starts in on the knee. Rex grabs an Indian Deathlock and THE LIGHTS GO OUT. Not as in an angle but as in the lights just stopped working. Fans: “PAY THE LIGHT BILL!” They come back on as Rex puts on a modified Sharpshooter for a few moments. Some knees to the back get two and the round ends.

Rex wins the second round (which he dominated) but Eddie starts round three with a knee to the face for two. The fans want Davey as Eddie misses something off the top and tweaks his knee. We hit two minutes to go as Rex is sat on top but he throws Eddie back down. The Revelator misses and Eddie gets in a Shining Wizard but can’t cover as the match ends at 16:28.

Rating: C+. First and foremost, if they just have to keep this round system going, they have to stick with the five minute rounds. You just can’t get anything going in three minutes and the extra time here did them a lot of good. They didn’t have a choice here with the replacement and while it would have been better to have Galloway, Edwards was as good as you were going to get on short notice.

They keep fighting as we go to a judges’ decision with…..Rex winning via a split decision, which was spoiled by the scorecard before the announcement. They shake hands and Rex says Eddie can have a rematch anytime you want. Rex says they made history tonight and stay tuned for the second part.

It’s time for the Hall of Fame induction with special guests Christy Hemme, Taryn Terrell (pregnant but in a dress that hides it very well) and Awesome Kong, who looks like she’s lost about 50lbs. They all say some nice words for Gail until Dixie Carter comes out (getting booed out of the building in the process) for the long introduction.

Gail comes to the ring and introduces a video tribute, with Al Snow, Billy Corgan and Jade doing most of the talking. Gail reads a quick speech and thanks everyone for helping her get here, including a lot of WWE women and everyone backstage. This was nice and it’s hard to make fun of something rather classy.

We recap Decay vs. the Hardys in the Great War. Decay took the titles earlier in the year and the Hardys invited them to North Carolina for Final Deletion II. This is a match with unclear rules with the titles on the line.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Decay

Decay is defending. Reby Hardy, in a very long red dress, plays her family to the ring on a live piano. The women are in the ring as well to start and there are weapons around the ring. It’s a wild brawl to start of course and Reby is misted early on, meaning she has to go to the back. Steve clotheslines Matt and says he wants to break his back. Matt saves himself from a suplex but Rosemary throws in a trashcan.

Abyss and Jeff are nowhere to be seen as Rosemary comes in with a Van Terminator of all things to give Steve two on the floor. Back in the ring, Abyss staples Jeff in the forehead. Josh: “Somebody is teeing off on somebody on the other side of the Impact Zone.” Thanks for that information Josh. Matt and Abyss fight to the back with Abyss punching out a referee. Steve and Jeff join them with Decay in control. Jeff tries to reach a bucket labeled “Lake of Reincarnation” but Steve hits him with a music stand.

Back to Matt and Abyss, who fight over by a Universal Studios sign before Steve pours the bucket over Jeff…..who has disappeared. There’s no commentary as Jeff (presumably) throws pumpkins at Steve. We see Jeff, who is now some kind of steampunk pimp with a southern accent, and says he’s Jeff’s friend. Matt and Abyss fight in front of a car as Rosemary returns to slap Jeff, earning herself a pumpkin over the head as Jeff shouts like the Joker. Steve takes Jeff down and tells Rosemary to go help Abyss, who is throwing Matt against a truck.

Some “fan” appears and offers to fight Abyss because he’s on Team Delete. That’s fine with Rosemary who takes him out with one shot. Back to Jeff, who pulls out an umbrella and turns into Willow. Abyss has Janice but Matt throws fire from his hands to set it on fire. “Janice you look so hot.” Someone steals a truck with Abyss and Matt fighting in the back but it’s cut off by Vanguard 1, who chases Rosemary off. More shouting ensues and we cut back to the Impact Zone where Willow brings Steve back inside. Willow grabs a ladder as commentary comes back because it’s no longer pre-taped.

Matt and Abyss stagger back inside as well with Abyss suplexing Matt on the ramp. Jeff (no longer Willow) crawls back out from under the ring and baseball slides a table into Steve. The Twist of Fate and Swanton get two on Abyss, who brings out the barbed wire board. Matt takes over and adds in the thumbtacks, followed by a Side Effect onto various sharp objects.

A middle rope elbow sandwiches Abyss between two barbed wire boards for two. The women come back with Reby putting Rosemary through a table. Steve takes Abyss’ place and gets a Twist of Fate with a chair around his neck. Matt sets up two tables and a ladder before stopping to tell Jeff to indulge in his addiction. Jeff Swantons through Steve for the pin and the titles at 22:45.

Rating: C. I have no idea what to think of this but I’ll take the Monster’s Ball part over the Final Deletion part any day. This stuff just isn’t for me and I really don’t know what to say about most of it. The insanity is really creative and you can tell Matt and Jeff have put a lot of thought into the characters but it’s just not my kind of stuff. It’s entertaining but I’d rather watch regular wrestling than whatever this was.

We recap Lethal Lockdown with Lashley picking the main event stipulations.

Lashley is tired of people like EC3 being placed in front of him. Tonight is about teaching a lesson.

Knockouts Title: Maria Kanellis-Bennett vs. Gail Kim

Maria is defending but says she can’t wrestle because her hand is still broken. Allie says she has good news: the doctor said she’s cleared to wrestle. Maria: “You are so stupid!” The bell rings anyway and Maria clotheslines Gail on the floor. They head inside with Maria slamming Gail head first onto the mat to set up a chinlock.

Gail fights up so Mike Bennett throws in the brace for a shot to the head. That’s only good for two and Allie is caught with the brace, earning her more yelling from Maria. Gail picks the brace off and throws it away before starting with the real beating. The Figure Four around the post has Maria screaming and Eat Defeat (after a double middle finger to Maria) gives Gail the title back at 5:18.

Rating: D. Well this was about as boring as they could have gone but that’s TNA and Gail Kim in a nutshell. Gail just wins the title back because that’s what she does and all the stuff with Sienna, Laurel and even Allie means nothing at this point. Allie will probably go somewhere soon but this really, really didn’t do anything for me.

Bennett goes into a tirade against the fans for trying to screw his family over so it’s time to shut this show down. The lights go out (on purpose this time) and here are the debuting Cody (no longer Rhodes/Runnels) and Brandi (who can be called Rhodes). Maria starts yelling at Cody so Brandi gets in her face, earning Maria a knee to the head. The brawl is on with Cody hitting the Beautiful Disaster. This wasn’t much and felt really thrown together.

Quick recap of Carter vs. Lashley. Carter is the latest person to come after the title and Lashley has promised to treat him like everyone who has come before.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley

No Holds Barred with Lashley defending. Lashley spears Ethan during the Big Match Intros and then allows JB to finish his introduction. Why don’t more people do that? Carter says ring the bell anyway but Lashley runs him over with a clothesline. Some clotheslines from Ethan put Lashley on the floor but the champ shrugs off everything Ethan throws at him.

A quick Dominator has Carter in more trouble and Lashley throws him onto the ramp. Back in and Carter throws him with a t-bone suplex, followed by an elbow to the jaw for two. Carter hammers away but gets speared again to cut him in half. Lashley gets the title but walks into a snap German suplex for two before rolling out to the floor. A TK3 on the steps knocks Lashley silly but they’re still outside.

Back in and the third spear gets two on Carter before Lashley just unloads on him with a chair. A Rock Bottom into a side choke has Carter in trouble but he grabs the referee’s leg to keep the match going. Ethan fights up and rolls some German suplexes, setting up the 1%er for two. A super 1%er is broken up and a middle rope spear pins Carter at 16:12.

Rating: C+. If that’s their biggest match of the year, they’re in big trouble. The match was fine but this could have been on any given episode of Impact instead of main eventing the biggest show of the year. Lashley winning is acceptable enough but who in the world is supposed to challenge him now? Moose? Good enough match here but really anti-climactic and the no holds barred thing didn’t matter at all.

And….that’s it. No big debut, no special announcement, nothing out of the ordinary. Lashley just poses and the show ends.

Overall Rating: C. Of all the things TNA could have done, this was probably the worst option. They did NOTHING special here, unless you count the X-Division Title getting a standard match with more than ten minutes for once. The wrestling was really just a bit longer than what you would see on a regular Impact and that’s not saying much. I didn’t hate the show but it was just there.

Nothing really stands out (Final Deletion stuff has been done already) and the ending just happened. Why are people so worried about what happens to this company? The show was fine but absolutely nothing beyond that and that’s not good on your biggest night of the year. As usual, TNA does just enough to scrape by and that’s (partially) why they’re in the shape they’re in: they do little more than exist with nothing outside of Matt’s insanity doing anything fresh. This was disappointing and I’m really not surprised by that, which is a major problem.

Results

DJZ b. Trevor Lee – DJZ

Eli Drake won Bound For Gold last eliminating Tyrus and Jesse Godderz

Moose b. Mike Bennett – Discus lariat

Aron Rex b. Eddie Edwards via split decision

Hardys b. Decay – Swanton Bomb through a table

Gail Kim b. Maria Kanellis-Bennett – Eat Defeat

Lashley b. Ethan Carter III – Middle rope spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – September 22, 2016: Is It Too Late To Turn Around?

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 22, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

There are two weeks left before Bound For Glory and a lot of the card has been filled in. Tonight we have the two semifinal matches in the Grand Championship tournament and more of the build towards Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley for the TNA World Title. We’re to the point where everything is about setting up the pay per view so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Lashley and Moose brawling to end last week’s show until Ethan Carter III came out for the save.

Grand Championship Title Tournament Semifinals: Drew Galloway vs. Eddie Edwards

Josh tries to get “Scottish Dragon” over as Drew’s latest nickname. It’s better than the Leonidas of TNA. Drew chops away to start but Eddie backflips out of a suplex and kicks Drew out to the floor. The suicide dive connects, only to have Drew pop back up with a tilt-a-whirl slam onto the apron. Drew rolls some suplexes for two before getting in some right hands to “break down the guard” to end the first round.

Drew wins the first round so Eddie scores with a running clothesline to start the second round. A super hurricanrana gets two on Galloway and Eddie ties him in the Tree of Woe, only to have Drew sit up into a belly to belly superplex. The Boston Knee Party sends Drew outside and back to back suicide dives has Eddie in full control to end the second round.

Eddie wins the second round to tie it up and starts fast by going after the knee. That’s reversed into the Iron Maiden but Eddie reverses into one of his own. Eddie shifts over into some leg holds so Drew kicks him in the face. That’s one way to do it. They chop it out with Drew getting the better of it and hitting a Razor’s Edge buckle bomb. Eddie gets an enziguri but walks into the Futureshock for two as time expires at 10:17.

Rating: B-. And that’s why I don’t like this tournament structure. This was one of the better matches TNA had put on in a few weeks if not months but the stupid rounds and time limit made sure that they couldn’t keep going because we need to end this match at nine minutes. To be fair though, how else are we going to get in more vignettes of Vanguard I and Senor Benjamin playing chess?

The judges give it to Drew on a split decision. Again, the points aren’t actually mentioned and they would have the same result if they just had the judges vote on a winner instead of giving numbers. But hey, why do what makes sense when you can make it more complicated?

Post match Drew says his match will be the real main event of Bound For Glory because nothing can follow him. This brings out Ethan Carter III, who doesn’t like Drew suggesting that he’s the better man. Drew thinks it’s interesting how Ethan comes out on his feet all the time and offers him a Grand Championship shot. As Drew leaves, Ethan says he can beat Drew anywhere anytime but here’s Lashley to interrupt. Mike Bennett runs in from behind to beat on Drew and it’s a double beatdown. Cue Moose but the good guys are left laying.

Allie is trying to find people to help with Maria Kanellis’ public workout but Maria comes up to yell at her again.

Aron Rex and Eli Drake are ready for their semifinal match.

Bennett asks Lashley if they’re friends but Lashley says he has no friends. Mike thinks he can get a title shot by beating Moose but Lashley stares him down.

Grand Championship Title Tournament Semifinals: Aron Rex vs. Eli Drake

Before the bell, Drake tells Rex to stay off the mic because he can’t hang at this level. Rex laughs off the insults and says he’s going to tell the tale of Eli Drake. Eli is the offspring of an out of work Chippendale dancer and a Muppet and has bad taste in knee pads. That’s a little rude but not exactly Drake was probably more insulting. Rex needs to stick with being smart and not trying to be a Rock knockoff.

They trade headlocks to start as it’s a very simple first minute. Rex’s Russian legsweep looks to set up the Wind-Up Elbow but Drew bails to the floor. A sideslam looks to set up the Edgecator on Drake but the first round wraps up. Round one goes to Rex but he still can’t get the Edgecator to start the second.

Drake pops him in the jaw a few times and grabs a chinlock, which really isn’t the best idea in a match this short. A jumping neckbreaker gets two on Aron and Drake pounds him down to end the second round. Drake wins the second and Rex is in trouble to start the final round. Not that it matters as Rex hits his discus punch (the Revelator) for the pin at 8:43.

Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad and yet again the time limit really hurt things. We’ve spent the better part of a month setting up a final that’s going to have a nine minute time limit for a big fight between people who want to hurt each other. Drake deserves a bit better than this but at least they’re giving a rub to someone with potential.

Decay promises to destroy the Hardys in the Great War but they catch Vanguard I spying on them. A Senor Benjamin hologram pops up to laugh at them as Vanguard I flies away.

Rex is talking about his win when Galloway pops up to say he’ll win, though Aron disagrees.

We see a man walking to his car and talking about his past being behind. He gets in his car and the reveal is Cody Rhodes (just Cody here), who will debut at Bound For Glory.

Here’s Decay with a message for the Hardys. Rosemary says the Great War will be the end of every last Hardy. More destruction is promised until Matt Hardy appears in the crowd to say this is a world of magic. The battlefield for the Great War will be the entire world so Matt can delete the title reign. Jeff shows up to say they’ll twist Decay’s fate and Abyss will no longer be beautiful, Steve won’t be crazy and Rosemary won’t be rosy anymore. The lights go out and come back up to reveal Steve and Abyss tied to the ropes. Reby shows up to spear Rosemary but she can’t get a Twist of Fate. Reby promises to take care of her soon.

Ethan Carter III and Moose fire each other up.

X-Division Champion DJZ comes out and issues an open challenge for a title match.

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Trevor Lee

Lee is challenging and starts fast with a slam to work on DJZ’s back. The champ fights back and sends Lee outside for a big flip dive to take out Lee and Andrew Everett. Back in and a middle rope back elbow to the jaw rocks Lee, followed by a springboard hurricanrana. The ZDT retains the title at 3:45.

Rating: C-. So much for the X-Division being revitalized. This was just like most X-Division matches you’ve seen in the last few years: no reason for it to happen other than “let’s have a match”, nothing special for wrestling, almost no time and the same people fighting for the title that have been fighting for it since I can remember. It’s not a bad match or anything but it’s really lazy storytelling.

Post match Everett and Lee (they’re still the Helms Dynasty despite Helms not being around in months) beat on DJZ until Eddie Edwards makes the save. Edwards asks for a title match next week and DJZ says it’s on.

Maria yells at Allie for being stupid like Gail Kim. Allie is crushed, again.

Here are Maria, Allie and Sienna for Maria’s public workout. Maria yells at Allie and tells her to get out of the camera shot because no one wants to see her. Sienna deserves a title shot but isn’t going to get one tonight. An unnamed opponent comes out and gets beaten up by Sienna, allowing Maria to get the first pin in about thirty seconds. Allie doesn’t have a second opponent because she already found the easiest opponent she could. Maria berates her again so here’s a woman in all black, including a mask. Yeah I think you know where this one is going.

The masked woman easily takes Maria to the mat and reveals herself as Gail Kim. Sienna comes in for the save but Gail beats her down too and sends the other heels running. There’s an interesting story here, assuming you completely remove Gail from the match. Every part of this looks to be setting up Allie taking the title from Maria but no, let’s have Gail Kim get the title shot instead. Maybe Maria retains anyway and loses to Allie down the road but that should be at the pay per view, not some TV match later on.

Same Cody vignette from earlier. They really couldn’t film two of these?

We run down the Bound For Glory card.

Ethan Carter III/Moose vs. Lashley/Mike Bennett

Bennett drops to the floor at the opening bell so Lashley gets beaten down by both opponents. We take a break about a minute in and come back with Bennett hitting a cutter for two on Carter. Bennett sends Carter into the corner but punches Lashley by mistake. The hot tag brings in Moose and everything breaks down. Carter grabs a quick rollup to pin Bennett at 8:35.

Rating: D. What the heck was that? Most of this was in the commercial and the ending felt like it was out of nowhere. Carter vs. Lashley and Bennett vs. Moose don’t feel like big matches and that’s a really bad sign for two of the top three matches at the biggest show of the year. Not good here and not a good way to set things up.

Post match Lashley and Carter brawl with wrestlers and referees barely able to hold them back. Cue Billy Corgan to say that’s not how this is going down. Next week we’re starting Bound For Glory early with Team Lashley vs. Team Carter with the winning team getting to pick the stipulations for the title match. Oh and let’s just make it Lethal Lockdown. You know, because THE BIGGEST GIMMICK MATCH TNA HAS SHOULD BE USED TO SET UP ANOTHER MATCH.

Overall Rating: C. This show did its job of helping to build a lot of stuff at Bound For Glory but it’s still not the most interesting stuff in the world. Nothing on the card feels like a must see match and that’s not how you want the biggest show of the year to go. Lashley vs. Carter has been done before and I’m really not excited about seeing them fight again. It’s better than what they’ve done in recent years but this is really not doing much for me right now.

Results

Drew Galloway b. Eddie Edwards via judges’ decision

Aron Rex b. Eli Drake – Revelator

DJZ b. Trevor Lee – ZDT

Ethan Carter III/Moose b. Lashley/Mike Bennett – Rollup to Bennett

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Impact Wrestling – September 15, 2016: They’re Losing Me

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 15, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Things are starting to pick up with just three weeks to go before Bound For Glory. Last week saw more build towards Lashley vs. Ethan Carter III and the announcement of a tournament for the inaugural TNA Grand Championship. Of course none of that matters compared to Final Deletion II. Let’s get to it.

We open with Matt Hardy talking about everything that happened last week in Final Deletion II. Senor Benjamin has been kidnapped and Jeff is badly injured so Matt puts him into the Lake of Reincarnation. Jeff is thrown into the water and comes out as the Immortal Jeff, complete with belt, from 2010. Matt shouts NEVER and throws him back in to have him come back out as the Jeff he’s been in recent weeks. Next up: Matt has to go find Vanguard I. So the big answer to what happened to Jeff last week: eh forget it.

Here’s Lashley for an in ring chat with Jeremy Borash. Lashley says this is going to be the year that he dominates wrestling because no one else in any promotion is as dominant as he is. Since he beat up EC3 last week, he needs an opponent for Bound For Glory. It might as well be JB because it would be just as dominant either way. This brings out Grado, who says JB is a much bigger joke than he’ll ever be. Grado calls Lashley a coward and it’s a quick beatdown capped off by a spear. Another callout brings Moose to the ring and the champ is actually knocked out to the floor. Moose issues what sounds like a challenge.

Aron Rex says Drew Galloway has been handed all kinds of opportunities while he’s had to take everything he can get. Rex promises to see Drew soon.

Lashley says he’ll make Moose famous but not tonight.

Grand Championship Title Tournament First Round: Trevor Lee vs. Aron Rex

Three rounds of three minutes each. They trade headlocks to start until Rex is sent out to the floor. A big boot sets up a chinlock as I keep trying to figure out why they turn the lights down for these matches. Rex fights up with some clotheslines for some last second points to end the round because Heaven forbid Rex goes full speed ahead the full match. Rex somehow wins the first round so Lee forearms him for two to start the second round. That earns him a Russian legsweep and Wind-Up Elbow, followed by a running discus punch to pin Lee at 5:33.

Rating: D+. I still don’t like this concept and this didn’t do it any favors. Ignoring the MMA feel the matches have (why they think wrestling fans want to see MMA still isn’t clear), I don’t like the flurry of offense at the end of the rounds. If they can do that at the sound of the ten second warning (another non-wrestling thing), why can’t they fight up the rest of the time?

Maria is going to hold Gail Kim’s Hall of Fame ceremony tonight so it doesn’t overshadow the Knockouts Title match at Bound For Glory.

Matt finds the destroyed Vanguard I and cries at its death…..but it’s reincarnated as well so never mind.

Here are Allie and Maria to hold Gail’s Hall of Fame induction. Maria is tired of no one talking about her title win because everyone is talking about Gail Kim. We see a highlight video of Maria beating Gail up and Maria does Gail’s speech for her. The official gift is a picture of Maria with the title but Allie has her own present for the best female wrestler ever.

Maria freaks out again and stomps on whatever the present is but here’s Dixie Carter. Dixie says Maria has a conflict of interests and no longer has any authority. Gail never lost the title (yes she did) so she’s going to be in the Knockout gauntlet tonight to crown a new #1 contender.

Braxton Sutter vs. Rockstar Spud

This is an empty arena with all turnbuckles exposed “for the safety of the fans”. Apparently Sutter hit Spud in the face and the injury made him require braces. Spud jumps him on the ramp and the fight is on. Josh: “The arena is empty because there are no fans in it.” It’s not even a match as they just beat each other around the empty arena and throw each other into metal objects. Spud kicks him low and they finally get in the ring with Sutter kicking him low to retaliate. A few whips into the buckle sets up a ram into the buckle to give Sutter the pin at 5:13.

Rating: D. To recap: this show has had a UFC style fight, an empty arena match and Matt Hardy resurrecting a drone. Oh and Gail Kim, who is A WRESTLER. They’re really not making this easy to sit through and Matthews telling me that the arena is empty because there are no fans in it was the icing on all this. Would it kill them to let these two have a regular match and then set up the gimmick version? Ah right: TNA is EVOLVING THE BUSINESS, which means doing stuff that was done in Memphis over thirty years ago and hoping people don’t remember it.

And now, here’s more Matt Hardy, who sends Vanguard I to find Senor Benjamin in a barn. Matt tells Benjamin to stockpile more weapons than ever because a great war is coming at Bound For Glory. THEY’RE ALREADY DOING FINAL DELETION III??????

Recap of last week’s Final Deletion.

Here’s House Hardy (the new name for the group) to challenge Decay. The champs appear in the crowd and say that Maxill deserves a better home. The Hardys are offered their own decay so Jeff promises to delete them for good at Bound For Glory. Fans: “OBSOLETE! OBSOLETE!” Matt wants to fight them in the insanity of the Great War and Rosemary accepts so Maxill can join his real family. The fight is on and House Hardy stands tall.

Mike Bennett tries to get in Lashley’s head about Moose.

Knockouts Gauntlet

This is basically a Royal Rumble with over the top eliminations but it turns into a regular match with pins or submissions when they get down to two. Jade is in at #1 and Allie is in at #2 but Maria says not so fast because she’s found someone better. Instead, a newcomer named Laurel Van Ness (indy wrestler Chelsea Green) is in at #2. Jade kicks away to start until Sienna is in at #3.

We get a double teaming on Jade until Gail Kim is in at #4. The minute intervals continue with Marti Bell coming in at #5. The heels keep control until Raquel is in at #6. There’s almost nothing going on in between these entrances. Madison Rayne rounds out the field at #7 and we’re not even six minutes into the match. I’m sure just a regular battle royal was out of the question.

Back from a break with no eliminations but Madison is knocked out in a hurry. Jade is kicked out as well but stays around at ringside. Marti gets sent over the top and is caught by Jade, who rams her into the post and then drops her to the mat for the elimination. Allie screws up AGAIN and causes Van Ness to be eliminated as well. The referee comes in as we’re down to Sienna vs. Gail. A sunset flip gets two for Gail before Eat Defeat sends her to Bound For Glory at 14:13. The one on one part wasn’t even two minutes long.

Rating: D. Not only is the entire division save for the non-wrestler champion involved in one match but HEY LOOK IT’S GAIL KIM! I still don’t know why I’m supposed to be interested over Gail Kim getting all fired up to fight Maria in what is likely going to be a squash because Maria is barely a wrestler. The division is almost nothing anymore and so much of that is due to Gail being put so far ahead of anyone else. Why should I be interested in anyone when Gail is just going to take the title back a few months later? This isn’t Memphis and Gail isn’t Jerry Lawler but TNA thinks she should get the title as many times.

Grand Championship Title Tournament First Round: Eddie Edwards vs. Mahabali Shera

Neither gets an entrance. Feeling out process to start with Eddie firing off chops and sending Shera to the floor for a suicide dive. Back in and the Boston Knee Party gets two (that move might have set a record for fastest time being turned into nothing) and the first round ends.

Eddie wins the first round in a clean sweep so Shera stomps away in the corner to start round two. Some miscommunication gives us an awkward looking sequence in the corner with Shera just stopping in front of Eddie. An over the shoulder rib breaker gets two on Eddie and Shera throws him into the air for a big crash. They fight over a suplex to end round two, which goes to Shera in a split decision despite Eddie not hitting anything. Eddie is aggressive to start the third round and kicks Shera in the ribs, setting up a half crab for the submission at 8:45.

Rating: C. This actually had some time to set something up but the short time limit and the scoring system is still rubbing me the wrong way. Shera is pretty clearly just there to appeal to the India market but that doesn’t mean he’s a good idea for the American fans. The guy really isn’t interesting and it’s getting worse every week.

Lashley and Moose come to the ring for the closing segment with Lashley offering Moose the title shot at Bound For Glory. Moose seems to agree but doesn’t want to wait that long. Moose beats him up around the ring until Lashley gets in a few shoulders in the corner. Mike Bennett comes out for the double team on Moose but Ethan Carter III runs out for the show closing brawl. Matthews: “EC3 IS BACK!” HE WAS HERE LAST WEEK YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!

Overall Rating: D. This show got a little bit better after Slammiversary but it’s right back to doing the same things that drove me crazy before. Above all else though, it’s the Hardys. A few months ago they did Final Deletion and it was entertaining and different. Then last week they did Final Deletion II and it was a lot of the same stuff with more people involved. Now we’re getting the third one in two and a half weeks and I’m finding it really hard to care about, especially when that’s the top story. Matt and Jeff got more time than anything else tonight, save for maybe the Knockouts match which was all about Gail.

The first half of this show was awful in all kinds of new ways. We had another MMA knockoff match, an empty arena match for whatever stupid reason TNA can come up with this time and more Matt and Jeff zaniness with Matt basically erasing everything that happened last week. More than once tonight I looked at my TV and asked what I was watching. That happens every now and then with most wrestling shows but with TNA it’s every few segments.

I know Corgan is all about new ideas and thinking, but TNA needs to remember that it’s a wrestling company and stop trying all these wacky ideas to force people to care about them again. Yeah Matt being all insane and saying things that people quote online a lot is amusing but it’s rapidly running out of steam. Bound For Glory is coming up in a few weeks and I’m really not looking forward to it. Maybe TNA is passing me by or something but most of the time it’s not entertaining me. They have a talented roster and I like watching their regular matches but those are getting less and less frequent and that’s not good.

Results

Aron Rex b. Trevor Lee – Running discus punch

Braxton Sutter b. Rockstar Spud – Ram into the exposed turnbuckle

Gail Kim won a gauntlet match last eliminating Sienna – Eat Defeat

Eddie Edwards b. Mahabali Shera – Half crab

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – September 1, 2016: Ghosts Of Final Deletions Gone By

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 1, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

The countdown to Bound For Glory 2016 continues as we have five more weeks before the biggest show of the year. Things have changed a bit coming out of last week as Drew Galloway has turned heel by attacking Aron Rex, likely setting up Rex’s first feud and a Bound For Glory match. Let’s get to it.

We open with Reby (who looks like Matt from behind) and the Hardys playing the piano and singing the Obsolete song. Even Senor Benjamin, Vanguard One and Maxill get in on the sing a long. Maxill’s piano playing give Matt a pre-mo-nition that the battle with Decay will take place here at the Hardy Compound instead of at the Zone of Impact. Matt is worried but Reby has a sword to protect herself and Maxill.

In the arena (and out of that insanity), Mike Bennett and Maria are here for a chat. Mike is here to complete his kingdom of miracles by winning the World Title tonight. He’s so successful because he surrounds himself with people like Maria and Moose, who Mike would like to come down to settle things. Instead here’s Lashley to say he doesn’t have to fake confidence like Bennett does.

Lashley is so confident that he’s willing to let tonight’s title match be No DQ. Bennett thinks Lashley is jealous of Moose and doesn’t believe that they went to dinner last week. The champ says they did go to dinner (Are we on a Disney sitcom?) and maybe Lashley smartened him up a bit. Moose comes out to say he’s let his actions do the talking and tonight he’ll determine who wins the title. Bennett takes that as Moose saying he’ll win but Moose says not so fast before leaving.

Matt Hardy vs. Crazzy Steve

They look at each other to start because both of them are a bit insane. Steve dropkicks the knee out and we hit the chinlock. The fight goes outside with the fans telling Matt to DELETE him. So they want Steve to join Matt’s team? Jeff hits Steve with a boot a few times and the Twist of Fate puts Steve away at 4:20.

Rating: D. I’m very bored with the Hardys anytime they’re just having matches. The gimmick is so insane that it’s entertaining at times and the second Final Deletion (you know that’s coming) should be fun but the actual wrestling is just Matt and Jeff looking old and boring. Steve continues to be more of a character than good but he works well with Abyss so that’s a step up.

Post match Steve gets the mic and says Decay is at the Hardy Compound and Maxill is now Rosemary’s baby.

The X-Division guys try to explain the X-Division and basically say it’s about being fearless. So we can expect Nikki Bella showing up when?

After a break, Matt calls Reby (with his phone actually saying Broken Matt Hardy) but she doesn’t answer. The camera in the Hardy Compound shows Rosemary looking at Maxill.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. DJZ vs. Andrew Everett vs. Mandrews vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Rockstar Spud

The title is vacant coming in and this is a gauntlet match, meaning people are added at fixed intervals but you can pull the title down at any time. Trevor Lee and DJZ start things off and they slug it out for a bit before pulling each other down. Andrew Everett is in third and the time intervals seem to be two and a half minutes. DJZ gets double teamed so the Helms Dynasty (minus Helms showing up lately) goes up at the same time.

A knee to DJZ’s head knocks him silly but here’s Mandrews to break up the title grab attempt. Mandrews gets thrown off the top though and we take a break. Back with a replay package of what we saw before the commercial instead of what we missed. Braxton Sutter entered during the break and here’s Rockstar Spud to complete the field but it’s still too early to get the title with Sutter making the save.

We hit the big streak of dives before people get back in, only to be thrown out or knocked down seconds later. There’s nothing to talk about here as it’s just one move or spot after another with nothing in between. Spud uses a chair to knock Sutter off the cables but it’s the Helms Dynasty going up and grabbing the title at at the same time. No one comes down with it though so DJZ springboards in and pulls the title down to win at 16:23.

Rating: C+. I’m sure this is the revitalization that the X-Division has been needing for years now and that this will be different than the other half dozen times they’ve promised it’s not going to be left by the wayside again. The same problems they always have still apply here: no characters, no storylines other than they all want the title and get thrown together into one match and nothing we haven’t seen before. Fix some of those things and give us an actual story and the division might go somewhere.

Ethan Carter III is talking about his match last week when Eli Drake comes up to challenge him to a match tonight.

Drew Galloway promises an explanation.

We look at Allie accidentally winning the Knockouts Title last week.

Here’s Drew Galloway to explain his actions from last week. Drew says you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. He’s been asking why he stood up for TNA when he first arrived and he’s not sure. When he won the World Title, the celebration went on for a week. Then Ethan Carter http://ambienbuy.net screwed him over three straight times but the fans cheered for him. Then Aron Rex showed up and said the same things he said in his debut but the fans were cheering for him anyway.

Rex wants to be the next Drew Galloway so Drew has to teach him a few things. This brings out Billy Corgan to say Drew’s actions should earn him a suspension without pay but a little bird told him not to do it. Drew accuses Corgan of becoming the establishment and doing everything Dixie Carter tells him. Actually it was Rex who kept Drew from being suspended and here he is for the brawl but security quickly breaks it up. This was good stuff and Rex looked like a star who was on Drew’s level.

Reby answers the phone and Matt says the match tonight was just a setup. She and Maxill will go to the safe room but Vanguard One tells Matt that Rosemary is already there.

Ethan Carter III vs. Eli Drake

Drake is nice enough to spell his name out before they head to the floor with Ethan in control. Back in and Drake takes over with your standard heel offense (I love listening to him talk but his wrestling isn’t great) and escapes the TK3 attempt. A chinlock doesn’t go very far and the second TK3 attempt connects just fine. The 1%er is enough for the pin on Drake at 6:00.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one but there’s nothing wrong with that. This was a main eventer beating a midcarder who got in some offense before losing. That’s a simple booking plan and it works just fine with the big name getting a win over someone with credibility and the midcarder not losing any status because he was fighting a bigger star.

Allie is very excited about her title win and doesn’t mind Maria making her plan her own celebration.

Reby tells Matt to get back here now. Senor Benjamin is holding Maxill.

DJZ celebrates his title win and says he’s ready to defend it.

Here’s Allie for her title celebration. Before she can get anywhere, here are Maria and Sienna to interrupt. Maria sends Sienna to the back and yells at Allie for thinking this is actually about her. Allie screws everything up and couldn’t even get the right color balloons here. This celebration is for Allie’s opponent and Allie needs to lay down right now.

Knockouts Title: Maria Kanellis vs. Allie

Allie lays down and Maria is the new champion in three seconds.

Allie has to fight back tears as she announces Maria as the new champion.

Bennett tries to talk Moose into doing the right thing and hands him a pipe. Moose thinks about it.

Rosemary torments Reby but Senor Benjamin gets Maxill out. Reby tells Benjamin to prepare the field for battle.

TNA World Title: Mike Bennett vs. Lashley

Lashley is defending and this is no DQ. The champ leapfrogs Bennett and does the delayed vertical suplex but here’s Moose to offer a distraction as we take a break. Back with Bennett in control and kicking Lashley in the face. Maria hits Lashley in the head with the cast and the Knockouts Title but Lashley shrugs it off and suplexes Bennett for a breather. A torture rack (good move for Lashley) has Mike in trouble and a spinebuster makes it even worse. Maria breaks up the spear but Moose won’t give Mike the pipe. The distraction allows the spear to connect to retain the title at 10:59.

Rating: C-. This was much more storyline development than an important match, which shouldn’t be the case for a World Title match. Moose turning on Bennett this soon could be interesting but it’s not like they’ve really been a unit long enough to give this much of an impact. Bennett never felt like a threat to the title here and that’s not a good sign.

Post match Bennett yells at Moose and calls him a failed football player. Bennett slaps him in the face so Moose clotheslines Mike’s head off to end the show.

Next week: Decay goes to Cameron. That’s right: FINAL DELETION II!

Overall Rating: D+. I had forgotten how annoying it was to have the show cut back to the Hardy shenanigans every few minutes. It’s not so much the story that gets annoying (though it can) but more the fact that they’ll have something like eight segments (some very short) in two hours. You could stretch this stuff out for weeks but instead we see every few minutes and it’s really easy to get burned out.

The rest of the show was just kind of there. The X-Division Title match was your standard showcase that isn’t likely to lead anywhere, the main event was fine and…..what else really happened here? Rex and Galloway brawled, we had a nothing match between Drake and Carter (it was fine enough) and we have Maria vs. Gail set up in a match that we’ve known was coming for months. I’m not sure why we’re getting it but after all the time they’ve put into it they have to give it to us. This show wasn’t terrible but it got tiresome by the end, mainly due to the constant Hardy segments wearing me down.

Results

Matt Hardy b. Crazzy Steve – Twist of Fate

DJZ b. Mandrews, Rockstar Spud, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Braxton Sutter – DJZ pulled down the title

Ethan Carter III b. Eli Drake – 1%er

Maria Kanellis b. Allie – Allie laid down

Lashley b. Mike Bennett – Spear

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Impact Wrestling – July 28, 2016: What To Delete Next

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 28, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Tonight is still about finding a #1 contender for the World Title as we have the semifinals of the Bound For Glory Playoff with four people still possibly advancing to fight Lashley. Speaking of Lashley he now holds both the TNA World and X-Division Titles so we’ll have to see what he does with both belts. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s first round to get us to the final four.

Here’s Matt Hardy for his match but first, Matt summons Brother Nero to the ring, meaning we get to hear Reby say OBSOLETE over and over again. Matt commands Jeff to help him win his match tonight despite THAT NOT BEING PART OF THE STORY. We’re still not ready as Matt growls at Ethan like an intoxicated gorilla. Ethan says nothing, including Senor Benjamin or Vanguard 1 bringing a dilapidated boat to the ring and dropping it on his head. Matt: “You are nothing more….” Ethan: “MY PROMO IS NOT OVER!!!” Carter says this man is Jeff Hardy and he is a relevant creature.

Bound For Glory Playoff Semifinals: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

Matt bites the hand to block a chop so Carter goes with a middle rope dropkick, only to have Ethan tweak his ankle. A belly to belly suplex lets Matt kick at the leg but Ethan kicks him out to the floor for a dive. That just hurts his ankle again though and Ethan has to break out of the Twist of Fate. A Stinger Splash looks to set up the TK3 but Matt kicks the ankle again. The second TK3 works but Reby throws in the hammer. The referee is distracted by…..I think Jeff but Matt gets caught with the hammer anyway. As the referee takes it away, Ethan takes his own boot off to knock Matt out, followed by the 1%er to advance at 7:30.

Rating: C. The ankle injury worked fine but there’s still much insanity going on with the Matt vs. Jeff feud. Thankfully it seems to be wrapping up at Bound For Glory but why am I supposed to believe that it’s the final match? It’s kind of hard to buy that when they’ve already done the FINAL match. Oh and again: there’s no reason Jeff is Matt’s servant. Owning Jeff’s intellectual property doesn’t mean he has to do everything Matt tells him, even in TNA’s odd world.

Madison Rayne is annoyed at Maria and Allie so they give her Gail Kim tonight.

Post break, Matt yells at Jeff and promises to make it worse.

Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim

No entrances. Gail gets an early two off a backbreaker but Madison knees her in the ribs and a kick to the head gets two. An enziguri gets the same for Madison and there’s a slide into a clothesline against the bottom rope. Back up and Gail hits a quick Eat Defeat for the win at 4:59.

Rating: D+. These two have fought several times over the years and it’s really not interesting to see them do it again as we build towards Maria vs. Gail Kim in what should be a one sided slaughter. Madison isn’t the most intriguing character in the first place as she’s really just that person who used to be important but time has passed her by.

Mike Bennett and Moose are ready to destroy Lashley.

Rosemary and Bram meet in the woods and we get a flashback to Rosemary looking normal. When she was younger (as in early 20s) she had a cat. One day the cat got sick so she took it to mama, who told her everything would be ok. Then her Mama threw the cat in a trashcan to make Rosemary crazy like she is today. Back to reality, Bram thinks Rosemary is a little weird but they stop to look at a barn. It’s always a barn.

Moose vs. David Star

David is sat on the top rope for a dropkick out to the floor but Star comes back with a running dropkick. A pop up apron powerbomb ends Star’s run though and probably most of his career at the same time. Back in the and the Gamebreaker (basically a Rainmaker but with a discus lariat but without pulling Star in, making the spin rather pointless) ends Star at 2:22.

Post match here’s Lashley to come after Moose. We come back from a break with Mike Bennett pulling Moose back from Lashley and asking who wants to see this match. Eh not yet though as Bennett wants Moose to wait because Bennett needs him in the corner for the playoff match later.

The two of them leave so Lashley says he’s already got two titles but he wants all the singles gold. This brings out DJZ to suck up a bit so Lashley says DJZ can pick the match type for the X-Division Title match (remember that DJZ became #1 contender at Ultimate X). DJZ picks a ladder match and it’s on right now. Thankfully there are ladders ready just in case Lashley allowed DJZ to pick a stipulation.

X-Division Title: Lashley vs. DJZ

Lashley is defending and it’s a ladder match. DJZ gets thrown around to start but scores with a middle rope back elbow to the jaw. Lashley throws the ladder out of the ring because he can so they head outside with DJZ hitting a flip dive off the announcers’ table. Back from a break with Lashley crushing DJZ with a ladder and no selling a baseball slide to drive the ladder into his chest.

Back in and the Dominator plants DJZ but he’s still able to dropkick Lashley off the ladder. That’s not enough for the climb though as Lashley lifts up the ladder and DJZ at the same time (Pope: “That’s not something you’ll see in the X-Division.” Except for right now, when we’re seeing it in the X-Division.). DJZ grabs a quick tornado DDT to plant Lashley but he slams DJZ off the ladder and retains at 12:38.

Rating: C-. This was fine even though the ending was obvious. There were some Undertaker vs. Jeff Hardy tones here so the story worked but it was only as good as a DJZ match could get. I still really don’t like the idea of the X-Division being a prop for the World Champion to use. It was bad enough when Seth Rollins did the same thing to the US Title last year and I’m fairly convinced that this is a copy of that story. Eleven months is long enough to copy something right?

Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway want to fight each other in the finals.

Bram and Rosemary look at the barn and Rosemary asks if it matters. We go to the flashback again with Rosemary talking to a tree about some guy named John. Rosemary writes in a journal and signs an R in her own blood. This keeps cutting in and out with pictures in her Decay attire and is all over the place like the Final Deletion style videos. Back in reality, Bram says it doesn’t matter if we hear about these old things because they’re here now. To be continued.

It’s time for Fact of Life with Eli Drake. Eli calls Lashley a cross eyed halfwit and says you can’t just go around collecting titles like this is Pokemon Go. He likes the odds of putting Lashley’s two titles against his one but here’s James Storm to interrupt. Drake says he was calling out contenders and not a drunk. Storm brings up the DQ in their match and offers Drake another beer. Eli pulls out a jug of water but Storm kicks it out to the floor. Storm: “WATER SUCKS!”

That’s still a no so Storm makes parent sex jokes, earning himself a bunch of dummy’s. Drake will give him another shot but if Storm loses, he can’t have any more beer, can’t ride the Boozer Cruiser and can’t use that stupid country song. So…..he wants Storm deleted? Storm takes a swig of beer, drinks the one he had for Drake, and says it’s on. A belt shot misses but Drake gets in a low blow and Blunt Force Trauma.

Tyrus is still ready to fix your problems.

Grado calls Tyrus to try and get his help against the Tribunal but he and Mahabali Shera have no money. There’s a match next week.

Decay beats the BroMans down in the back and there’s a match up next.

Tag Team Titles: Decay vs. BroMans

Joined in progress with only Raquel at ringside. Decay is defending and this is Monster’s Ball just because. The champs are in control and pouring tacks out onto the mat as this is one sided so far. Jesse gets slammed down would rather grab a chair than follow up. Robbie ducks a double clothesline so Robbie can springboard in with a double clothesline of his own as the challengers take over.

Abyss gets a chair dropkicked into his face and a double spear sends him through a barbed wire board. Jesse grabs the Adonis Lock with Steve’s face in the tacks but Abyss breaks it up and throws him through a table at ringside. Cue another barbed wire board and Janice (of course) but Raquel sneaks in with a low blow to save her buddies. Robbie drops Janice though and a chokeslam onto the barbed wire retains the titles at 6:50.

Rating: C. If you’ve seen one of these you’ve seen them all, save for the pretty cool Adonis Lock onto the tacks spot. This was another gimmick match for the sake of having a gimmick match though and that gets really old in a hurry. It was fun enough and a violent (by TNA standards) brawl but almost nothing we haven’t seen before.

Bound For Glory Playoff Semifinals: Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III

Moose jumps Galloway during the entrance and powerbombs him onto the apron. Drew still says ring the bell because disqualifications cannot possibly happen before the bell. Bennett slowly beats him down until Drew grabs an overhead belly to belly to get himself a breather. A quick cutter gives Mike two and he throws Galloway outside. They head outside with Bennett going chest first into the bottom of the ring (as in the wood that holds it up) for two.

Drew tries Futureshock but spins Mike around first. That’s not enough though as Bennett slips away and punches the referee by mistake. Cue Moose to take Galloway out with a middle rope Sky High but Bennett only gets two. Now it’s Carter to go after Moose and send him into the steps, only to miss a kendo stick shot which hits Galloway by mistake. Moose pulls Carter to the floor, leaving Mike to hit the MIP for the pin at 7:46.

Rating: C. WAY too messy near the end but they got the point across. In theory this should set up Galloway vs. Carter at Bound For Glory but I can’t imagine they’ll do Bennett vs. Lashley at Bound For Glory. Of course there’s always the big multi-man match that wrestling companies love so much and would be as big of a mess as you can get.

Overall Rating: C-. The show was fine but it really does show how weak they are once you get out of the upper midcard. Gail Kim is still a boring face of the Knockouts, the X-Division is a prop, Decay is still doing the same things they’ve been doing and the idea of Grado/Shera vs. the Tribunal again makes me very drowsy. Storm vs. Drake does sound good though so not all hope is lost. If nothing else, well done on having six matches in a week, which is hard for any tow hour show to pull off. Finally, they seem to have dropped Dixie vs. Corgan for now, though I can’t imagine it stays gone.

Results

Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy – 1%er

Gail Kim b. Madison Rayne – Eat Defeat

Moose b. David Star – Gamebreaker

Lashley b. DJZ – Lashley pulled down the title

Decay b. BroMans – Chokeslam onto a barbed wire board

Mike Bennett b. Drew Galloway – MIP

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Impact Wrestling – July 12, 2016: I Needed A Break

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 12, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s Destination X and that means title for title with World Champion Lashley facing X-Division Champion Eddie Edwards in a winner take all match. Mike Bennett has promised to ruin the whole thing though and there’s also the possibility that Maria Kanellis will do something to further her issues with Dixie Carter. Let’s get to it.

We open with Final Deletion clips, including Jeff Hardy waking up. Matt goes down to the boat and names it Scarsguard as a thank you for saving him last week. Matt takes it out into the water with a bag containing Jeff’s remnants but the drone comes out, carrying the shirt Jeff was wearing to complete the package. Naturally this is continuing.

Braxton Sutter vs. DJZ vs. Rockstar Spud vs. Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett vs. Mandrews

Ladder match for the #1 contendership to the X-Division Title because it’s time for the usual suspects to be thrown into a mess of a match so they don’t have to develop in the slightest. Mandrews dives onto the Helms Dynasty as they come to the ring with DJZ doing the same thing for a big crash. DJZ stops Mandrews from grabbing the X but Sutter stops DJZ just as quickly.

Trevor goes for the belt on two ladders but they’re pulled away, forcing him into the splits for a new idea. Spud takes down a bunch of people with a chair but gets kicked in the head. A Sutter powerbomb knocks Lee silly, only to have Spud take him down with a belt to the back. We get the traditional Shane Helms interference to stop DJZ going for the belt, only to have DJZ shove the ladder over with Everett go crashing into the pile. DJZ pulls down the X to win at 5:55.

Rating: C. More of the same from the X-Division with a bunch of bodies flying around and no characters for the most part. It’s basically the second time they’ve done this same match in two weeks after the Ultimate X match last week. Is it too much to ask to go a month or two between “go grab something” matches?

DJZ is proud of his win and promises to go win the title when Mike Bennett jumps him from behind.

Ethan Carter III is ready to fight Drew Galloway because talking is over.

Dixie Carter says they’re moving back “home” to Thursday nights next week with the start of the Bound For Glory Playoffs.

Eddie Edwards and Lashley are in the ring for a face to face showdown. Lashley says the World Title is the heart of Impact Wrestling and he’s the top of the food chain. All Eddie has done is tick him off but Edwards says he’s going to walk out World Champion. Lashley says this isn’t a movie (True. That would be Final Deletion.) and the underdog doesn’t win. The X-Division Title is real life but Lashley beats him down when the Wolves Nation is mentioned for the first time (Good. That name has always sounded stupid.). The spear puts Eddie down and Lashley gets a chair, only to have Davey Richards return for the save.

Abyss has to choke Crazy Steve to calm him down as Steve is losing his mind about Rosemary kissing Bram last week. Tonight Abyss can take care of Bram and everything will be beautiful again.

Back at Matt’s house, he’s invited guests to his private movie theater to watch the Final Deletion. In another room, Reby pulls a book from the wall to open the door to Maxill’s room. She picks up the baby and drops down a fireman’s pole into the theater as we see the family and guests watch last week’s events. More is promised, which means I’ll get another week of being called stupid for not hailing this as the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.

Abyss vs. Bram

Abyss hits some right hands to the ribs in the corner to start before sending him out to the floor for a crash. Steve pulls Bram’s hair out but Bram comes back with some right hands of his own. A chokeslam cuts off a comeback but here’s Rosemary to check on Bram. The distraction lets Bram roll Abyss up for the pin at 4:05.

Rating: D. It was about time to screw with the Decay as the Wolves are apparently back and it’s time to put the titles on them again because they’re the most amazing team in the history of ever and we don’t want Decay getting any more traction than they already have. That’s TNA’s take on things: don’t let anything but the old standard get too big because that might let them go somewhere and that just isn’t how TNA wants things go work. The match was nothing of course.

Knockouts Title: Jade vs. Marti Bell vs. Gail Kim vs. Sienna

Is this the entire division at the moment? Sienna is defending and Gail jumps her on the ramp because this is basically two singles matches at once. Gail is discarded (Don’t worry. She’ll be back to save the division soon enough.) so Sienna can stomp on Marti as Josh promises MORE from Matt’s house at dinner last night.

Marti gets two on Sienna with Gail making the save, followed by a quick Tower of Doom. Jade and Gail dive onto the heels before slugging it out in the ring. Gail avoids a Pele and gets two off a backsplash. All four are back in now with Marti hitting a Pedigree on Jade. Eat Defeat drops Marti but Sienna Pounces Gail to retain at 5:10.

Rating: D. Another four way with no characters, the same moves over and over and Gail Kim being involved because screw “the division”, it’s all about promoting her. We’re just waiting to see her enshrined at this point and probably winning the title back at Bound For Glory so everything can be right.

Matt and his family had dinner and it’s all bizarre and weird and Matt speaks Spanish and it’s not funny or interesting and I don’t care if I’m stupid for not getting it. Next.

Lashley wants Davey Richards at ringside for the title match tonight.

We see the end of the Final Deletion. Again.

Here are Matt and Reby to brag about their win last week. Matt has DELETED Jeff, who Reby brings out and shouts OBSOLETE over and over. Apparently Matt wants to keep Jeff around and bleed every dollar out of him by making him his mule. DELETE DELETE DELETE. Oh yeah this is continuing until Bound For Glory and probably beyond.

DJZ wants Mike Bennett in the ring tonight.

Mike Bennett vs. DJZ

Mike runs him over to start but DJZ fires off right hands. Those go nowhere because he’s a lowly X-Division wrestler and can’t fight a heavyweight. A spinebuster gets two and we hit a chinlock for a few moments. DJZ fights up and headscissors him out to the floor for a flip dive. That’s enough for Bennett as he tries to walk up the ramp, only to be cut off by the X-Division. The distraction lets DJZ grab a rollup for the pin at 5:45.

Rating: D+. There’s your token pin because the X-Division actually matters tonight. The pinfall is nice but I have no reason to believe this is actually going to stick. You know, like it never actually does in TNA. Nothing to see here but that’s almost always the case in TNA around Destination X time.

Post match Bennett yells about wanting to ruin Destination X because that win really didn’t mean much. He promises to burn this place to the ground.

Drew Galloway wants to fight.

Bennett is on the phone and tells someone to get here tonight so they can burn it to the ground.

Here’s Galloway to call Ethan out for a fight, as in not a match. Ethan is ready go to as well and it’s on in a hurry. Drew takes it to the floor but gets suplexed. They trade some chops and Ethan pelts him with a chair. They fight backstage with Ethan getting the better of it until a bunch of people break it up.

Davey tapes up Eddie’s hands for the main event.

X-Division Title/TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley

Both titles are on the line. Lashley shoves him around to start but his suplex is countered into a sleeper. That goes as far as your average sleeper is going to take you so Lashley sends him outside for a suplex on the ramp. Eddie is sent into the steps and we take a break.

Back with Lashley beating Eddie in the corner and choking on the mat until Eddie fights up with a tornado DDT. A low bridge sends Lashley to the floor and there are three straight suicide dives. Back in and Eddie gets two off a sitout spinebuster before kicking Lashley in the eye.

Eddie tries the Boston Knee Party but gets caught in a powerslam with the referee getting bumped. Lashley grabs a chair so here’s Davey for the superkick/brainbuster combo and a near fall. Cue Mike Bennett but MOOSE makes his debut (complete with the Moose name and cool entrance music) to lay out Davey. We’ll call it a no contest at about 15:00.

Rating: B-. As usual, TNA is mostly fine between the bells and only lacks in the story departments. The match was good with a power vs. speed formula that works almost every single time. Eddie is more than good enough in the ring to fight off a monster like Lashley and the ending is intriguing stuff with a big name debuting. Good stuff here and a worthy main event.

Post match Bennett hits Lashley low, allowing Moose to take Lashley out as well.

And now, here’s Dixie Carter to end the show. The fans deserve a winner so there’s a rematch inside Six Sides of Steel with both titles on the line. To recap: a major name just debuted and we wrap it up with Dixie Carter.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a very, very tricky one to grade as I actually had to stop watching for about forty minutes before I went insane. The first half of this show was every single problem TNA had rolled into a single show:

1. X-Division/Knockouts clearly having no effort put in. It’s “here’s the entire division in one match with no characters or story”, just like it’s been for months if not years. The wrestling itself was fine (or as fine as you’re going to get in two matches combining to go ten minutes) but the lack of character development is killing them more and more every single time. There’s nothing different about these people and it shows when they’re thrown out there in one big mess of a match almost every time.

2. Dixie with her “we’re going home” speech. I can’t stand her more and more every time I see her.

3. Matt Hardy all over the show. We’ve seen that clip so many times and it’s being driven into the ground. The feud is clearly continuing and it’s going to be more of the same. If you like it then great, but if you don’t like it, prepare to be stuck sitting there all night long because it’s not going away.

4. TNA fans are going to spend the next week explaining to me about how amazing this was and how stupid I am for disagreeing.

Now that being said, the second half was MUCH better with the wrestling and stories being improvements with characters doing things that make sense for them. The main event was a perfectly acceptable use of the last segment with a new name debuting and a good match building towards it. That’s all well and good, but TNA just has so much bad that drags the good down and there’s almost nothing in the middle. It’s either horrible or good and that gets old in a hurry.

Results

DJZ b. Braxton Sutter, Rockstar Spud, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Mandrews – DJZ pulled down the X

Bram b. Abyss – Rollup

Sienna b. Gail Kim, Jade and Marti Bell – Pounce to Kim

DJZ b. Mike Bennett – Rollup

Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards went to a no contest when Moose interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – July 5, 2016: A Cry For Help

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 5, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We have arrived. Tonight is the FINAL (Like really the final. We’re not lying this time.) match between Matt Hardy and Jeff Hardy, which naturally is being held at Matt’s house in North Carolina instead of in the arena. The idea is the loser can never use the Hardy name again, which would be the second time this stipulation has been in place. Let’s get to it.

We open at the Hardy compound with Matt and Reby holding a birthday party for their son Maxill. Matt’s gift is expunging the enigma from the family tree and restore honor to the Hardy name. The final deletion takes place tonight at sunset and the gardener is told to prepare the battlefield.

Here are Maria and Mike Bennett to open things up. Mike wants everyone to take notice of the greatest X-Division Champion of all time ever (his words). Bennett has been near perfect since he got here so now it’s time to turn that record into gold. He asks someone to come out here so he can cash in the X-Division Title so here’s the returning Dixie Carter, a full two weeks since she was last here. She says Option C is in effect tonight but Bennett has to defend his title first. Since the fans want one more match before next week, let’s have Bennett defend against the entire X-Division in Ultimate X.

X-Division Title: Mike Bennett vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Mandrews vs. Andrew Everett vs. Rockstar Spud vs. Trevor Lee vs. Braxton Sutter vs. DJZ

I think that’s everyone and it’s Bennett defending in Ultimate X (title hung above the ring, climb across the ropes to get to it). DJZ dives over the top to take out Edwards and Everett, leaving Sutter to pull Spud down from the ropes. Spud slaps him in the face but a kick to the face might have knocked Spud’s tooth out. Either way it means he’s out of the match to calm things down a bit.

Bennett stops Sutter but gets kicked in the head but Eddie kicks him in the head, meaning it’s time for everyone to hit something, leaving everyone down so we can have a highlight package three minutes in. Trevor pulls DJZ off the cables and throws him with a German suplex. Lee charges into a spinebuster from Bennett, who tries to jump up and get the title without having to climb across.

Eddie hurricanranas him down before taking out Lee and Helms with a suicide dive. Everett dives on all of them, followed by Sutter and DJZ doing the same. Mandrews goes above the cables to moonsault down onto a bunch of people, leaving Bennett alone in the ring. He still can’t climb though so he grabs a ladder, which Eddie baseball slides back into him. Bennett comes back in with the ladder but Eddie kicks it over and wins the title back at 9:45.

Rating: B-. This was a bit better than the normal Ultimate X matches but I would have preferred seeing a regular match instead of this big mess but that’s all you can hope for in the X-Division these….well it’s been years instead of days. Eddie getting the title shot is interesting, but the name “Chris Sabin” would be the first thing I’d think of.

We see Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway getting into a fight after last week’s main event.

King of the Mountain Title: James Storm vs. Eli Drake

Drake is defending and is quickly knocked out to the floor to start before Storm pounds in some right hands in the corner. Eli comes back with some choking on the ropes and a powerslam. It’s already time to bring in the title but Storm comes back with a Sling Blade and Closing Time. Last Call sends Drake outside where he hits Storm with the belt for the DQ at 5:24.

Rating: D+. Nothing wrong with setting up a bigger rematch down the line and these two had some good chemistry on the mic together last week. Drake is just a step above the Honky Tonk Man where he doesn’t deserve the title over people he’s keeping it from and that means he’s interesting to watch, which is something TNA needs.

We get a trailer for the Final Deletion, which includes Jeff jumping out of a tree and shooting fireworks. This is going to be……something.

We look back at Ultimate X. It was only half an hour ago and we’re already recapping it?

Eddie says he’s going to cash in Option C.

Jade vs. Marti Bell

Street fight and Jade charges to the ring to start things off. Marti brings in the cookie sheet but gets taken down in slow motion for some right hands. Some sheet shots knock Jade back and bicycle kicks a trashcan lid into her chest. Jade pops back up and goes off with a kendo stick before putting a trashcan over her head. The package piledriver is countered with a backdrop so Marti gets her baton. Jade busts out some nunchucks to disarm her with ease, followed by the package piledriver onto a chair for the pin at 5:45.

Rating: C-. The violence wasn’t bad here but this is a really dead feud. Hopefully this wraps things up though as Jade and Marti aren’t interesting characters and I’m still not sure why I’m supposed to care about these two fighting. Jade’s title reign crippled anything she had going and Marti just came back after not doing anything for months, meaning this isn’t the most interesting feud almost by definition.

We go to Jeff’s house where he’s cutting the grass into shapes. Now it’s inside where Jeff plays some guitar….and then go to Matt’s vision which looks like the Terminator. A drone is seen flying outside the window and various miniature planes attack Jeff, who fends them off with his guitar. A red hologram of Matt comes out of the drone to say tonight is the final deletion. The drone (apparently called Vanguard I) flies away so Jeff chases after it on his motorcycle before we cut to Matt, who rides around on a lawnmower to destroy the art in the yard. I’m actually in awe and that’s not a good thing this time.

Mike Bennett and Maria are in the ring to complain about the title change earlier in the night. Maria wants Dixie to come out here right now but gets Billy Corgan instead. Maria immediately sucks up to him but Dixie comes out to interrupt. Dixie tries to calm Maria down as she shouts about how one of them have to leave.

Things finally calm down with Dixie saying she isn’t going anywhere while Mike and Maria try to manipulate everyone. Mike says people tune in to see them so Dixie needs to face reality. Maria starts her ME OR YOU until Corgan shouts at her to stop. Billy is sick of hearing this nonsense and if Mike and Maria want to quit, he’ll hold the door open for them. Bennett says they’re not quitting and promises to ruin Destination X next week.

Back to the compound with Matt telling the gardener to pour gasoline on the ring because it takes a lot of fuel to delete someone.

Decay vs. BroMans/Raquel

Before the match, Godderz says that he and Raquel have been keeping a secret from Robbie because he can’t keep secrets. In honor of Big Brother After Dark debuting soon, here’s a video of Rosemary kissing Bram backstage. I’m not sure what that has to do with Big Brother After Dark and I’d be more curious to see if they actually wanted to be associated with TNA.

The women brawl to start until Jesse takes over with a dropkick. That’s fine with Abyss who comes in and throws Jesse around before cranking on his neck. The hot tag brings in Robbie as everything breaks down. Steve dives into the Adonis Lock but Rosemary makes the save. Raquel dives off the apron to take Rosemary down. Abyss tries to chokeslam Steve onto Robbie but only hits the mat, setting up the BroDown for the pin on Steve at 4:53.

Rating: C. I like the BroMans and Raquel more every time I see them and it should be interesting to see what happens if they get another title shot. Decay continues to be a team that is living WAY beyond its means and is far more entertaining than I ever thought they should have been. I can’t imagine either of these teams will be holding the belts after the Wolves come back but it’s fun while it lasts.

Here’s Eddie Edwards to announce his decision. Eddie talks about how important this is but Lashley comes out to cut him off. Lashley talks about how great of a tag wrestler Edwards is but he has no idea what he’s getting into. Eddie says he’s been through the wars before, including breaking his elbow and winning a ladder match the next day.

That’s not enough for Lashley who brings up all the careers he’s destroyed. Option C needs to be changed a bit because Lashley wants to make it title for title next week. Eddie agrees that the smart move would be to just keep the X Title and leave but he wants to make history so it’s title vs. title. Lashley wants to fight now but the spear is blocked by a running knee to the face. Edwards holds up both titles and Lashley doesn’t get back inside.

Final Deletion trailer again.

We get a split screen sitdown interview with Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway. Ethan calls Drew a hothead and needs to look in the mirror to see the problem. Drew says he does that every single day and he knows Ethan isn’t the man he is. All Drew wants is the title and Ethan is someone standing in his way. A challenge is thrown out for next week and Ethan accepts.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

This is outside and in the dark in somewhat rickety looking ring. Before the match, Matt tells the referee (who he makes sure is licensed) to count the pin or call the submission. Matt plays the violin (given to him by Antonio Stradivari, who died in 1737) to summon the enigma. Jeff rides up and Matt tells him to prepare for his deletion. We come back from a break where the gardener reads us a statement saying not to try this. It’s in Spanish but it’s a nice gesture.

They trade punches to start and the longest stretch without the camera cutting is about four seconds. Jeff superplexes Matt (slow motion) and gets two off a splash before pulling out what appear to be shutters covered in ivy. Matt goes through those for two as we have music playing instead of commentary. Matt takes over with a kendo stick to the back as this is only a match in the loosest of terms.

We’ve got a ladder less than two minutes in with Jeff being knocked back into the corner and choked with the rungs (Matt: “DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!”). The Side Effect onto the ladder is countered and Jeff hits a Twist of Fate before taking his shirt off. The Swanton gets two and Jeff puts the ladder on the middle rope. That’s not enough though as he climbs into a tree (yes a tree) and dives off, hitting only the ladder on the way down. That only gets two so Matt hits him with a chair and pulls out a firework cannon to shoot at Jeff, who blocks it with a trashcan lid.

Since that didn’t work, Matt pulls out a rake and calls for Brother Nero. Jeff has his own fireworks to shoot at Matt, who hides behind a metal boat as the music switches from something resembling classical to rock. Jeff turns the boat over but gets caught in a sleeper because after fireworks, of course you use wrestling moves. They fall into the water and Jeff disappears with Matt saying he’s been flushed. Jeff pops out of the water in full Willow gear and chokes Matt with the umbrella until the gardener comes up with a stun gun to knock Jeff out for the pin at 7:27.

Actually not so fast as Matt takes the mask off and it’s….the gardener. Jeff pops back up and knocks Matt into a dirt pit for more choking but lets go when he sees a massive Hardy logo. Jeff climbs onto that as we go to a Wyatt style montage of the birthday party. Reby hands Matt a candle and he sets the symbol on fire to knock Jeff off for the pin at 9:36.

Rating: N/A. No rating since this had nothing to do with wrestling and was heavily edited throughout. Normally I would explain something stupid here but do I really need to? This was Matt and Jeff shouting LOOK AT OUR BRILLIANCE and Dixie being stupid enough to let them do whatever they wanted. Words don’t describe this one well enough but I hope Matt and Jeff financed this themselves because TNA is broke enough that they can barely afford to pay their production staff but they can have this…..thing which probably cost a small fortune.

Matt poses to end the show as the symbol burns behind him.

Overall Rating: D+. You know what I thought of here? Wrestlemania XII. It’s a show where the card where the entire show is cut in two with the main event being one thing and everything else being the opposite. The first hour and forty minutes of this show were actually entertaining and set up Destination X pretty well with some interesting matches and storylines.

Then the second half is a cry for help. This was Matt and Jeff climbing onto something high up and screaming REMEMBER US! WE USED TO BE COOL AND NOW WE’RE ALL GENIUSES AND STUFF! I don’t know if this is TNA trying to come up with something new and cutting edge but how many more people is this going to draw?

Let’s say it’s an explosion and gets them up to 400,000 viewers. What then? More of the same stuff that has driven people away time after time because that’s how TNA works. This was basically the Attitude Era in a nutshell: little to do with wrestling, an attempt to get people to talk but at the end of the day it’s a big mess that people watch like it’s a car crash. This was certainly something entertaining but it wasn’t wrestling. If that’s what TNA wants to do then so be it, but if this is the best they’ve got, I’m really scared to see where they go next.

Results

Eddie Edwards b. Mandrews, Andrew Everett, DJZ, Trevor Lee, Mike Bennett, Braxton Sutter and Rockstar Spud – Edwards pulled down the title

James Storm b. Eli Drake via DQ when Drake used the title belt

Jade b. Marti Bell – Package piledriver onto a chair

BroMans/Raquel b. Decay – BroDown to Steve

Matt Hardy b. Jeff Hardy – Pin after Jeff fell off a Hardy symbol

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Impact Wrestling – June 15, 2016: Amateur Hours

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 14, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s past Slammiversary and we have a new World Champion as Lashley took the title from Drew Galloway via knockout. Tonight is a special show though as we have four title matches with the World, King of the Mountain, Tag Team and X-Division Titles all on the line. Let’s get to it.

We open with…..the feed screwing up as it’s a bunch of looping commercials.

Eighteen minutes in and we see Eli Drake coming out to face Jeff Hardy for the King of the Mountain Title. And never mind as we’re back to the commercial loop.

Apparently that match ran about two minutes as Lashley comes out to the ring for a chat at 9:21. Never mind again as the loop is back on at 9:22. At 9:23 Lashley is back to say that anything can happen on live TV. Oh and the audio is screwed up and out of sync. He talks about how Drew Galloway lost the title and it’s back to the loop at 9:25.

At 9:32 (with a LIVE graphic in the corner), Ethan Carter III is in the back talking to Drew Galloway about how tough his schedule is and we’re back on the commercials in about twenty seconds.

It’s 9:45 and the only word from anyone is that Pop TV is having technical issues. Still nothing on screen or anything as the only information is coming from Twitter.

10:00 and no changes.

At 10:14 we get a crawling message saying the show will be airing in its entirety. This message airs once and doesn’t say what time the show will be starting. The graphic starts running on a loop a few minutes later and is gone by 10:20.

10:40 and the graphic is still gone with no updates in sight.

The show starts airing at 10:50 with no announcement whatsoever. It just started airing, complete with the crawler still airing.

We open with a package from Slammiversary with the footage turning to stills before the big moments actually happen.

Josh Matthews: “Tonight LIVE on Impact, witness the fallout from Slammiversary.”

Lashley comes out to open the show, meaning the very brief clips we saw earlier were out of order. Last week Lashley promised to win the title and here he is with the belt. Everyone else has run out the building to get away from him but here’s Ethan Carter III to interrupt. Lashley says Carter is a joke and doesn’t want this fight. After Lashley beats him, there’s no one left.

Cue Drew Galloway to interrupt but Lashley calls him a loser. Drew tells him to shut up but Lashley thinks he looks like garbage. Lashley says he’s flat out better than Drew and everyone knows it, including EC3. Drew doesn’t care because he’s invoking his rematch clause right here tonight.

Yesterday, Jeff Hardy challenged Eli Drake for the King of the Mountain Title.

King of the Mountain Title: Eli Drake vs. Jeff Hardy

Drake is defending. Jeff starts fast and sends Eli out to the floor for a baseball slide, only to eat a big clothesline. Hardy takes forever to get back in and eats a swinging neckbreaker for two before we hit the chinlock. A powerslam out of the corner gets two for Eli but Jeff comes back with a quick Whisper in the Wind. Eli dives into a powerbomb but grabs a second powerslam for two. Blunt Force Trauma is countered into the Twist of Fate followed by the Swanton, only to have Matt Hardy run in and bite Earl Hebner’s hands and face. Jeff goes after him for the DQ at 7:37.

Rating: D+. Mostly boring match here with Drake being much better when he can insult people on the mic though he’s passable in the ring. The worst thing here though is Matt vs. Jeff is continuing after what should have been the blowoff match. That’s the signature match between the two of them and Jeff won clean. There’s no reason for this to continue other than that’s the best TNA can come up with.

Ethan and Drew are in the back with Carter saying Drew worked himself too hard with his schedule as champion. Drew knows how to face Lashley and after he gets the belt back, Ethan is getting a title shot.

Jeff is still in the ring and says he’s sore after Sunday but he did what he had to do to get rid of his brother (Brother Moore. “If I can be Brother Nero, he can be Brother Moore”). Apparently that wasn’t enough though because Matt is still crazy. Matt pops up above the video screen to say this is where Broken Matt Hardy was born. This was where Jeff Hardy tried to end his career with no remorse for Matt, Reby or Maxill.

Matt wants Jeff to be DELETED but Jeff thinks Matt would be better off cutting a six minute promo in a hotel than this bull. Apparently Jeff has to come up and fight him or they’ll fight again next week. Jeff comes towards the stage and grabs a table but Matt says they should fight with hon-uh (his way to say honor). That’s fine with Jeff who climbs the steps and starts fighting, only to have Reby sneak up and spray him with a fire extinguisher. Matt slides Jeff down the railing and through a table.

After a break, Matt wants to face Jeff next week in Six Sides of Steel. Matt does this weird biting thing as he talks.

X-Division Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Trevor Lee

Lee is challenging and his manager Shane Helms jumps Eddie from behind to give Trevor an early advantage. Trevor starts firing off some right hands but charges into a boot in the corner. Eddie can’t hit his Backpack Stunner and another Helms distraction lets Lee get in a jumping knee to the jaw for two. Eddie dives through the ropes to take out Shane before a running knee to the chest (The Boston Knee Party. Seriously.) takes out Lee for the pin to retain at 4:00.

Rating: C. This was fine and hopefully wraps up the Lee vs. Edwards feud. I’m sure we’ll be seeing Shane vs. Edwards now though because that’s what the fans want to see: a guy in his 40s who was a big deal like ten years ago facing a guy who has the X-Division Title because his partner got injured.

Video on the Hall of Fame.

The BroMans spy on Raquel as a way to plug a Big Brother show.

We see a clip of Ethan and Lashley talking “during the break”, despite the fact that this version is being aired with no breaks due to the technical issues. Ethan says he doesn’t care who the champion is because he’s coming for the title. That sounds fine with Lashley because he’d love to take Ethan out.

Dixie Carter is in the ring to announce the new Hall of Famer as the roster is on the stage. After a quick speech about what this means, the newest inductee is announced as Gail Kim, which was pretty easily guessed months ago. Gail comes to the ring in tears and we go to a package on her, including the fact that she’s a five time Knockouts Champion with 232 days as champion. I have no idea where they got that number from as according to Wikipedia, her last reign alone was 232 days and she’s held it for over 700 days combined. They can’t even get their HALL OF FAME packages right?

Dixie praises Gail for creating the greatest female divisions in the world and thinks she’ll go down as the greatest in the world. The official induction is at Bound For Glory. Gail talks about how great her career has been because of this company and how important it’s been to her. She thanks everyone she’s ever worked with and is so grateful to be here.

Decay says they feel the presence of someone’s darkness.

We see Marti Bell costing Jade the Knockouts Title on Sunday.

Marti rants about how screwed up the Dollhouse was but through it all, she and Jade stood by each other. Once Jade became champion though, that title was her new best friend. Cue Jade for a brawl.

Tag Team Titles: Decay vs. BroMans vs. Mahabali Shera/Grado vs. Tribunal

Decay is defending and this is one fall to a finish. You would think Shera and Grado losing to the Tribunal would prevent them from getting a title shot immediately but things rarely go as they should around here. Baron Dax and Shera get things going and work on a wristlock each. It’s off to Robbie vs. Abyss with the latter easily destroying E. until Baraka comes in to steal a two count. A chinlock keeps Robbie down but he comes back with a Boom Drop and the tag off to Jesse as house is cleaned.

Jesse springboards in to dropkick Abyss to the floor before a quick BroDown sets up the Adonis Lock on Steve. Abyss makes the save though and chokeslams Jesse, only to have Shera come off the top to take Abyss down. Everything breaks down with Grado working on Steve in the ring until Snow shoves Grado off the top. Abyss chokeslams Steve onto Grado for the pin to retain at 6:46.

Rating: D+. This was your usual “here are a bunch of people running around like crazy” mess, which makes for a match that is too hard to keep track of with no one being able to stand out. Decay continues to impress though and lives WAY beyond what you would expect them to be able to do.

Maria tells Allie to leave her and Mike Bennett alone. She is FURIOUS that Gail is going into the Hall of Fame because no one appreciates them. Mike is ready to leave right now but Maria says they need to go to the ring and get everything they want.

Jeff Hardy accepts Matt’s challenge for next week.

Here are Mike (in a shirt covered in pineapples) and Maria with something to say. Mike says TNA needs a hero like him but the people have rejected him. Maria screeches that the loss on Sunday was a conspiracy from TNA management and they want it stripped from the record books.

They demand Dixie get out here right now but get Billy Corgan instead. Mike says he’s disappointed so here’s Dixie to back Billy up. Maria yells at her a lot but Dixie reminds her that we are LIVE tonight. Dixie says there’s too much talking and not enough wrestling here, especially from Maria who hasn’t had a single one on one match yet. If Maria has issues she should set up a meeting about it but Maria says the finger of blame should be pointed at Dixie because she’s the problem.

Maria thinks she could run this place better than Dixie and Billy must agree with her. She and Mike should be in the Hall of Fame but Dixie calls her self absorbed and thinks Maria shouldn’t be running the Knockouts division. Maria goes on and on about how awesome she is and how she’s a self made woman, only to have Dixie slap her in the face. Lame slap of course but did you expect anything else?

TNA World Title: Drew Galloway vs. Lashley

Drew, with heavily taped ribs, is challenging and Ethan Carter III is on commentary. They immediately fight on the floor with Drew taking over early and making sure to slide back in to break up the count. Lashley goes after the ribs and steps on the taped up part before dropping him on the apron with a side slam. They get inside for the first time with Lashley throwing Drew over the top and down to the floor for a big crash. Lashley is in full control but stops to stare at Ethan, allowing Drew to come back with some chops.

Back in and Lashley misses the spear and gets caught in something like a Kimura. Lashley escapes and grabs a Crossface, only to have Drew reverse into a Tombstone but Lashley reverses that as well, only to get caught in a piledriver for two. Drew’s super Celtic Cross gets two but the Claymore takes out the referee. Lashley hits a pair of spears and grabs a chair, only to have Ethan take the chair away. Carter hits Drew by mistake (nice Summerslam 1997 ending) and Lashley side chokes Drew for the knockout win at 10:18.

Rating: C. I wasn’t really feeling this one but Ethan vs. Drew could be one heck of a feud for the #1 contendership, though I do wonder where that leaves Lashley. They really weren’t hiding the ending they had set up and that almost always draws away some of the attention. Still though, decent enough match with the time they had to work with.

Overall Rating: C-. So let’s recap here (ignoring the technical issues at the moment): all title matches, no title changes, and what looks like the start of Dixie vs. Maria. This felt like a way to long way to sit around and wait for next week to really go anywhere. It’s not the worst show by any stretch but almost nothing got me interested here and that’s a bad sign on a night when a lot of people should have been watching.

That brings us to the small room that couldn’t contain the elephant that was around tonight. This was one of the worst examples of production, behind the scenes work and handling a major issue that I’ve ever seen. Sure a lot of it is probably Pop TV’s fault but of course TNA is going to find a way to blame ANYONE but themselves. That’s one of the things that drives me insane about TNA: they almost never seem to accept any responsibility. The show was taped and there didn’t seem to be any issues with the show that aired before Impact. What a coincidence that TNA’s show for the week isn’t working right.

What bothers me the most though is the lack of anything resembling communication between TNA and their fans. All they would say was “Pop TV is having an issue and we’ll be back in a bit.” Nothing about the time, nothing about when the show would air and very little about thanking the fans for their patience and sticking with TNA. It was a bunch of sitting around waiting on this show which wasn’t even that great in the first place.

Sure a lot of that is on Pop, but how much blame do you think Vince would get if this happened on Monday Night Raw? If nothing else they would have had SOMETHING on screen instead of what we were getting. Air an old match, put up a graphic, put up ANYTHING other than the same commercials over and over.

Yeah TNA put up a video on their Facebook but nothing on their website or Twitter and that’s not something they could blame on Pop. The whole thing was a mess and again, it’s always something with TNA. It comes off as amateurish and that doesn’t help a lot of their major issues, but I’m sure I’m just being a WWE fanboy and not giving them the respect they deserve, whatever that’s supposed to be.

Why do I say they don’t deserve a ton of respect? That Gail Kim graphic. TNA likes to treat their Hall of Fame as something special and to be fair they do a solid job with it, but they can’t even have someone look over this package and say “Hey, that’s wrong.” Do you know how I knew it was wrong? Very simple: I’ve watched TNA long enough to know that Gail has held the title way longer than that.

I get that they probably didn’t have someone from TNA put that together but is it really too much to ask someone to proofread something before it goes out over international television? As usual it comes off as TNA looking amateurish and not paying attention. Of course no one is expecting WWE levels of production and research, but a simple bit of math (or checking Wikipedia) is really not asking too much. If TNA stops doing stupid things like this, people will start treating them like something worthwhile. When these mistakes keep happening over and over again however, they earn the treatment they get.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Eli Drake via DQ when Matt Hardy interfered

Eddie Edwards b. Trevor Lee – Boston Knee Party

Decay b. BroMans, Tribunal and Mahabali Shera/Grado – Abyss chokeslammed Steve onto Grado

Lashley b. Drew Galloway – Side Choke

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6