Slammiversary 2016: So TNA

Slammiversary 2016
Date: June 12, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

TNA is back on pay per view with their annual anniversary show featuring something close to a triple main event. First and foremost we have TNA World Champion Drew Galloway defending against Lashley in a submission/KO only match. Next, Mike Bennett is finally giving Ethan Carter III his rematch after Carter ran through a string of opponents to earn another shot at him. Finally there’s arguably the real main event as Matt Hardy faces Jeff Hardy in a Full Metal Mayhem match. Let’s get to it.

We open with the roster on the stage for a moment of silence for the victims in last night’s Orlando shooting.

The opening video is a pretty basic one with a quick clip on each match.

We hear Jeremy Borash hyping up Full Metal Mayhem, which I think was supposed to be just for the live crowd.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Andrew Everett vs. DJZ

Lee is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Before the bell, Shane Helms is banned from ringside. It’s a big brawl on the floor to start with DJZ chopping Trevor and Eddie fighting Everett on the other side. Everett is sent into the steps and the other three get inside for the opening bell. Lee gets double teamed until they all head to the floor, allowing Everett to get back inside for a big corkscrew plancha.

The Helms Dynasty (Everett and Lee) start double teaming Eddie with a drop toehold into a knee to the head, only to have DJZ to come back in with a double elbow to the jaw. DJZ holds the ropes open for an Edwards dive onto Everett, only to have Andrew run back inside for a running shooting star press and a near fall on DJZ. Lee isn’t happy with that and gets in an argument with his stablemate, leaving Eddie to chop both heels in the corner.

The champ gets two on Eddie off that spinning powerslam of his but Everett is right back up to eat a superkick from Edwards for two. Lee throws DJZ off the top for a big crash, leaving Everett to hit a springboard shooting star and a near fall on Eddie to leave everyone down. DJZ’s tornado DDT gets two on Everett but Lee blasts him with a jumping knee to the face. Back in and Eddie counters Trevor’s fisherman’s buster into a small package for the pin and the title at 10:11.

Rating: B. This was exactly what it needed to be with a bunch of big spots and a white hot pace throughout. Unfortunately that’s probably it for the title meaning anything until we get to Bound For Glory and the likely showdown between Helms and Edwards that I don’t think many people are really looking forward to seeing. This was nothing we haven’t seen before but it’s nice to have a regular match instead of Ultimate X for the sake of having Ultimate X.

Lashley is warming up.

The announcers run down the card.

Ethan Carter III says tonight he’s taking Mike Bennett to church where the people are going to be singing Trouble Trouble Trouble.

Clips of Sting being announced as the first member of the TNA Hall of Fame.

Tribunal vs. Grado/Mahabali Shera

Serious vs. fun with Al Snow as the Tribunal’s coach. Snow says his hero Donald Trump is going to make America great again and promises to make wrestling great again starting here tonight. The Tribunal jumps Shera to start and it’s Baraka choking him against the ropes. Baron chokes even more as the announcers talk about how none of these four have been on a Slammiversary yet. Considering two of them have only been hired for about a month, that’s not a huge surprise.

Baraka works on a chinlock but gets caught in a quick Sky High for a breather. Baron runs around the ring to pull Grado off the apron but Grado comes in anyway and starts cleaning house, including taking away Snow’s whistle. Shera springboards in to take out both French villains as everything breaks down. Shera and Dax go outside as Grado kicks Baraka in the chest for a delayed two as Snow had the referee. Back up and a quick backbreaker/middle rope elbow combination puts Grado away at 7:33.

Rating: D+. It was fine but should have been a nothing TV match instead of taking away a pay per view spot. The Tribunal really comes off as little more than a midcard heel act at their peak, despite both of them having a great look. Nothing match of course but was anyone expecting anything else?

Braxton Sutter comes up to James Storm for an introduction. They seem to get along and they go off for a chat.

We recap Maria Kanellis vs. Gail Kim despite Maria being out of the match with a broken hand. Basically it’s wrestling vs. entertainment as Maria is in charge of the Knockouts and wants to make them a bigger deal while Kim says she has no room to talk since she’s not a wrestler. Somehow this is supposed to make us want to cheer for Kim.

Gail Kim comes out for the match but Maria’s hand is in a cast. Allie says Maria deserves sympathy but Gail says Maria is a liar. Billy Corgan comes out to show us an X-Ray and the hand is indeed broken. Instead of just putting Allie in Maria’s place, Gail is being added to the Knockouts Title match right now.

Knockouts Title: Sienna vs. Gail Kim vs. Jade

Jade is defending. Sienna gets double teamed to start but she comes right back by choking Jade in the corner. Gail is tied up in the Tree of Woe and Sienna uses her break to crank on Jade’s neck. Everyone gets back up and Sienna fireman’s carries both of them at the same time for a big drop as everyone heads outside.

All three get knocked down but slide back in at the same time to start chopping it out. Sienna backdrops Gail to the floor and Jade springboards into a tornado DDT for two. Gail is back in with a hurricanrana on the champ and Sienna adds an AK-47. Eat Defeat drops Sienna but Allie pulls her out at two. Sienna gets the title as Marti Bell comes in to hit Jade with something to give Sienna the title at 7:40.

Rating: C-. Unnecessary ending aside, it’s nice to get the title off Jade to end that completely dead reign. Maria has become the first interesting thing in the division in a long time and it makes sense to have her get control of the title in addition to the division. Now we can have Gail Kim STAND UP FOR WRESTLING and take the title in a big showdown at Bound For Glory, likely after her Hall of Fame induction. Gail’s knee injury from Impact was mentioned but didn’t factor into the match.

Lashley says there’s a big fight feel tonight and makes JB practice announcing him as the new World Champion.

Here’s James Storm to talk about how fourteen years ago, this company gave a bunch of kids a chance on Wednesday nights. He’s still here though and loves the idea of doing things his way. Storm is here in Orlando, which draws an ORLANDO chant. Tonight, Storm wants to give a new kid an opportunity so get out here Braxton Sutter.

James Storm vs. Braxton Sutter

Apparently Storm told Sutter that it took him a few months to get his first win out of the way. Eh a few months, his second match, same difference. They start fast with Sutter dropping him with a shoulder but running into an armdrag. A dropkick staggers Sutter and an enziguri from the apron makes things worse. Sutter comes back with a high cross body for two and a powerslam for the same, followed by a suplex into the buckle for a third two count. Back up and Sutter charges into a Codebreaker, followed by the Last Call for the pin at 6:47.

Rating: C. Well that happened. I’m so glad they had Sutter get a strong push out of the gate and then have him lose here, probably for the sake of honoring TNA’s history or whatever. TNA is dying for fresh blood right now and having someone new with a lot of potential lose to James Storm clean isn’t the right way. I’d be more fine with this if Storm was heading up the card but I really can’t picture that happening.

Eli Drake says we won’t be seeing champions go 0-3 because he is the namer of the dummies. Bram might just be crazy enough to put his life on the line to take the King of the Mountain Title but if that’s what he thinks, Bram really is a cross eyed dummy, yeah. That guy can just command a camera.

Video of Kurt Angle being announced for the Hall of Fame.

King of the Mountain Title: Bram vs. Eli Drake

Bram is challenging after Drake cashed in Feast or Fired to take the title. Drake jumps him to start but backs off when Bram gets to his feet. An early Brighter Side of Suffering attempt sends the champ out to the floor and that’s enough for Eli so far. Drake tries to leave and says we’ll do this next month, only to have Bram punch him back to the ring.

Bram teases the Brighter Side of Suffering on exposed concrete but Drake backdrops him for a long count from the referee. A neckbreaker gets two for Drake but it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down. Back up and Bram starts slugging away, followed by a jumping knee to the face and Pop Up Powerbomb for two. Now the Brighter Side of Suffering connects and Drake rolls straight to the floor. Back in and Drake hits his clothesline and neckbreaker combo (Blunt Force Trauma) for the pin to retain at 8:36.

Rating: C. I’m a big Drake fan and he’s starting to come around (though a new finisher would really help him) so this was the right call. Bram is fine in his role and could be something if TNA would stick with him but Drake comes off like a Miz: he can command a crowd really well and can wrestle well enough to get through a match.

Mike Bennett talks about being the man who did what no one else could and promises that after tonight, the fans are going to say they believe.

Recap of Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III, which is built around the idea of Bennett being the first person to ever beat Carter and Ethan wanting a rematch to get his revenge after all the cheating in their other matches. Carter had to walk through a road of redemption to get his shot.

Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III

They lock up to start and it’s an early standoff. The fans chant NO WE DON’T as Carter scores with a few shoulders. Ethan knocks him to the floor but eats a clothesline as the fans stay on Carter’s side. Bennett makes things a bit more serious with an elevated DDT off the barricade onto the ramp. It’s way too early for that to end the match though so Bennett grabs a neckbreaker back inside.

The Miracle in Progress is broken up and Ethan plants him with a sitout powerbomb for two. Carter can’t get the 1%er either and Mike gets two off a spinebuster. Bennett gets in a cutter but Ethan pops up for a clothesline to put both guys down. A flapjack sets up the 1%er but Bennett gets out at two. They head to the apron with Carter hitting his TK3 onto the apron, only to go up top and dive into another cutter.

Bennett drops him with a piledriver for two but Ethan rolls some German suplexes and hits another 1%er with Maria throwing a chair in to distract the referee. The referee gets rid of her but it’s a Miracle in Progress onto the chair for two more. Ethan gets up and grabs another TK3 followed by the 1%er for the pin at 15:03.

Rating: B+. This was the match I was looking forward to the most and it delivered as well as I was expecting. These two are a pair of young guys with good chemistry and a lot of talent, which is why this has been the best feud TNA has done in a good while. I’m sure we’ll see a rubber match between them and it’s going to be a lot of fun as well, which gives me a reason to keep watching, for now at least.

Matt Hardy is ready to end Nero.

We recap Matt vs. Jeff, which is over Matt being obsessed with defeating his brother because Jeff has broken him or whatever Matt is babbling about this week. For some reason this has turned him into some combination of Raven and Sweeney Todd with a bad British accent.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Full Metal Mayhem (basically TLC with pins) and Matt’s wife introduces him as broken, meaning he has piano music. Jeff attacks in the aisle to start but Matt comes back with a bunch of weapons. A snap suplex puts Jeff down on the floor as Matt empties a trashcan full of weapons, which only allows Jeff to take over with some hard shots. Jeff crushes him with a ladder up against the post and drives him through a table (that’s not metal) for two.

Back in and Jeff puts a huge ladder completely across the ring with Matt on top for a top rope splash and another near fall. The Swanton hits knees though and Matt gets two of his own. Matt starts biting Jeff’s ear because a Mike Tyson reference seems appropriate here. A Side Effect on the apron knocks Jeff silly but Matt pulls out a keyboard because he’s broken. He bridges it between the apron and a piece of the barricade so Matt can powerbomb Jeff through the keyboard for two.

Matt puts Jeff on a table on the floor and climbs a ladder inside, only to have Jeff come in and send them both crashing into the turnbuckle. It’s Jeff up first with a basement dropkick for two, followed by the Twist of Fate. Ok that he did rip off from Matt. Now the Swanton connects for two more and they head outside next to two tables. Jeff gets another Twist of Fate through one of the tables for two as the fans aren’t really reacting since they’re waiting on the big spot. Matt is laid on the other table and Jeff Swantons off the top through him for the pin at 16:56.

Rating: B-. Uh, that’s it? That’s what they’ve dedicated the most time of any match to on TV? A decent TLC match with a KEYBOARD as the big spot? The ending was nothing special but I’d rather have it be a “safe” (by comparison at least) spot instead of Jeff jumping off the roof or whatever he was hinting at doing. Hopefully this wraps the whole thing up though as Matt really doesn’t need to do anything else, though I’m sure we’ll get another match because these two are MONEY. Like enough money for a Coke or something but it’s still MONEY.

Matt walks off as Jeff celebrates with fans.

Decay says you can’t run from them because they never stay the same. The BroMans’ resurrection will lead to their demise.

Tag Team Titles: Decay vs. BroMans

Decay is defending. Robbie goes after Abyss to start but Steve gets in a cheap shot to take over. It’s quickly off to Jesse as everything breaks down early. Robbie dives off the top to take out the champs, followed by Jesse throwing Rosemary onto them as well. Things settle back down to Abyss choking Jesse in the corner and Steve gets in a shot to the back of the head.

Jesse finally knocks Abyss away and makes the hot tag off to Robbie for a Boom Drop on Steve. Rosemary mists Abyss by mistake and the blind monster chokeslams Steve. The BroDown and Adonis Lock has Steve tapping but Abyss mists the referee by mistake. The women get in a fight as Steve gets in a belt shot for two on Godderz because BLOWING MIST IN A REFEREE’S EYES isn’t a DQ anymore. The Adonis Lock goes on again but Abyss makes another save and grabs the Black Hole Slam on Jesse. Abyss powerbombs Steve on top of him to retain at 9:15.

Rating: C+. This was a lot better than I was expecting and they did a good job of making the BroMans seem like more than just a couple of goofs. The lack of a DQ off both mists was annoying but that’s par for the course anymore. We’re just waiting for the Wolves at this point but it’s good to have a team get a nice little push like this.

Drew Galloway says he’s ready to fight for wrestling.

TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Drew Galloway

Submission or KO (last man standing variety) only to win and Galloway, in a kilt, is defending. Drew Claymores him two seconds into the match but Lashley pops up and grabs a legbar. That goes nowhere so Drew tries to throw him into the steps, only to have Lashley jump on top of them. Back in and the Iron Maiden is easily broken so Drew grabs a second version.

Lashley fights up and gets in a spear, followed by an overhead belly to belly. Since it’s not a KO though, there’s really nothing to do but wait for Drew to get up. A cross armbreaker doesn’t last long on Drew as he kicks Lashley in the face and cuts his eye open. Lashley suplexes him again and starts pounding away in the corner. Drew blocks a superplex and this a top rope clothesline, followed by another Claymore. It doesn’t even get a count though as Lashley gets up and scores with a quick spear to put both guys down.

Drew gets in a big boot to put Lashley on the floor before sending him into the steps. The Celtic Cross onto the steps makes things even worse for Lashley but he’s still not out. That leaves Drew with nothing else (because the show is running out of time) to do but put on a Sharpshooter on the steps. The referee breaks it up despite DQ’s not being a factor in this match. Yet another Claymore drops Lashley and now it’s time for a table.

Drew’s flip dive over the top only hits the table though and both guys are down again. Lashley won’t let the count go yet though and pounds Drew in the head a bit first. The champ gets up but dives into a Crossface, which is quickly reversed into a Tombstone. Lashley is up again and blasts Drew in the face, setting up a side choke to knock Drew out for the title at 17:58.

Rating: B. The match was good but LASHLEY??? The epitome of “monster for someone to destroy” gets the title again? They’re going up against Smackdown in a few weeks and they put the title on Brock Lesnar minus charisma? This was set up perfectly to have Galloway win and look like a star but instead it’s Lashley again because the first two reigns were so great.

Josh acts like this is Lashley’s first reign to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I’ll be sticking around but egads this company makes it hard to sit through. As usual the show is much better when they just focus on the wrestling instead of all their “creative” stuff but this felt like TNA in a nutshell: the stuff they do is good but it’s just enough to squeak by. Instead of hitting a home run, this was a weak single over the third baseman’s head. There’s enough good in it to keep me watching but Impact is going to go downhill all over again because they have nothing to build towards for four months.

The matches that needed to deliver did so, but the stuff between the opener and Bennett vs. Carter was the usual collection of weak to average at best. As usual TNA survives again on hard work from the wrestlers but I’m not looking forward to Galloway chasing Lashley while Lashley talks about how awesome he is in that weird voice of his. It’s a good enough show, though nothing I’ll ever want to see again.

Results

Eddie Edwards b. Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and DJZ – Small package to Lee

Tribunal b. Grado/Mahabali Shera – Backbreaker/Middle rope elbow combination to Grado

Sienna b. Jade and Gail Kim – Pin after Marti Bell hit Jade in the back

James Storm b. Braxton Sutter – Last Call

Eli Drake b. Bram – Blunt Force Trauma

Ethan Carter III b. Mike Bennett – 1%er

Jeff Hardy b. Matt Hardy – Swanton Bomb through a table

Lashley b. Drew Galloway – Side choke

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Slammiversary 2016 Preview

It’s that time of year again. It’s time for TNA to pretend that they’re a major wrestling promotion by offering a pay per view that most people aren’t going to watch that is supposed to lead them into their potential war against Smackdown. The main event is allegedly Drew Galloway defending the World Title against Lashley in a TKO or submission only match for reasons that have been forgotten in the weeks of build. Let’s get to it.

We’ll start with the match TNA has announced as the official opener as Trevor Lee defends the X-Division Title against DJZ, Andrew Everett and Eddie Edwards in the match that was easy to predict because this is what the X Title is these days (or these years actually: a match you throw onto a show after a very weak build for the sake of talking about the good old days when people cared about it. The position on the card or whoever fights for the thing doesn’t matter as long as the title is treated as a complete afterthought.

As for the match itself, I’ll go with Edwards getting the belt to set up a match against Helms at Bound For Glory which isn’t going to be the most interesting either. Helms debuted last October and has done a grand total of almost nothing since, other than naming a small stable after himself and teasing an in ring debut that might get some minor attention. Edwards winning makes sense here and could give the title some more false hope of meaning anything going forward.

Dang I’ve been a bit bitter this time. Maybe the next match will be a bit better.

We also have an Al Snow match as his new French team faces the comedy duo of Grado and Mahabali Shera which should be destined for the pre-show. This is a feud that has been built up for a few weeks now and still has no real reason to exist other than to make Al Snow look more important than everyone else in the match. The French guys could be something interesting in the future but I really don’t expect them to be anything more than long term Wolves fodder. I’ll go with them to win here but we’ll likely get a rematch on Impact so Grado and Shera can get their comedit win.

Braxton Sutter has a match against an opponent to be named. I’m sure this will be a squash but Sutter impressed me a lot on Tuesday so I’m fine with this one getting a pay per view spot. It probably won’t get much time but at least it should be entertaining while it lasts.

Back to the title matches as we have Jade defending the Knockouts Title against Sienna. Jade is a really sad case as it’s clear that TNA wants to focus the whole division on Gail Kim but felt the need to take the title off of her for a bit before getting back to her, likely in a big moment at Bound For Glory as she’s entered into the Hall of Fame. Notice how even in a preview for the title match I keep talking about Gail Kim? See how similar it is to TNA? Sienna likely wins here so they can switch the title to Kim in October but at least it would kill off the dead Jade title reign and end its misery.

Decay should easily retain the titles over the BroMans, who are just thrown out there because Beer Money isn’t around anymore. As much a I’ve enjoyed Raquel as the latest eye candy around the pool and in the gym, she’s not going to be enough to get the suddenly much better BroMans another title reign. Decay has actually been a lot of fun lately and I can’t imagine they’re losing the titles to anyone but the Wolves, because they’re the Gail Kim of the tag division.

I’ll go with Drake to keep the King of the Mountain Title as Bram turns into TNA’s hybrid version of Cesaro and Ryback: he might get a quick push but at the end of the day he’s there to put someone over instead of getting himself over. Drake is going to have to cheat as hard as he can to win this thing but he’s been on fire lately and deserves some recognition for all that effort.

Now we get to the big stuff and we’ll start with the third biggest match on the card as Drew Galloway defends the World Title against Lashley in a TKO/Submission only match. Basically the two of them have been brawling for months and somewhere in there Dixie Carter had this darlin idea of mixing MMA and TNA rules because that’s what fans want to see when they watch professional wrestling.

I’ll go with Galloway to retain as Lashley is really just a glorified monster, albeit a rather good one. The stipulations would seem to favor Lashley, even though he made Kurt Angle tap out a few months ago. I’m not really wild on this match and it’s going to feel a little flat as a main event on a show like this. Still though, Galloway retains.

Next up is the match I’ve been looking forward to more than any other on the show as Ethan Carter III gets his rematch with Mike Bennett. These two have had the best feud TNA has produced in a LONG time and most of it is due to having two young guys with different personalities fighting each other. It’s been fun and the matches have worked, making this feud one of the big reasons that TNA has been tolerable. I’m sure this is going to be really entertaining as well and one of the better matches of the night.

That leaves us with the real main event. It won’t go on last but given how TNA has gone over the last few months, it’s very clear that this is the most important match of the night, at least in their eyes. We have Matt Hardy (now looking like a homeless Shakespearean actor) against Jeff Hardy (who may or may not be Willow half the time) in a Full Metal Mayhem match.

I don’t remember the last time a feud has turned me off on a promotion worse than this one has with TNA. They’ve treated this as the be all and end all feud of TNA when it’s really just the same thing we’ve seen time after time. I’m really not even sure why they’re fighting other than Matt is obsessed with getting rid of his brother. One week they were having an I Quit match that ended in a draw and now it’s this completely over the top feud with so bad they’re good vignettes.

I’m sure Jeff is going to do something completely stupid that no one will be able to follow because that’s how TNA works. There are better and more important feuds, but Matt vs. Jeff is their version of Austin vs. Rock for whatever reason and the fans not wanting to stick around really doesn’t matter to TNA. The match should be entertaining but as usual it’s the trip to the dentist office of wrestling: the end result is better than you were expecting but that doesn’t mean it was fun getting here. I’ll actually take Matt to win, likely putting him back in the World Title hunt because he’s a Hardy and that’s where he belongs.

One final note: Gail Kim vs. Maria is off due to Maria breaking her hand. There’s always the chance they’ll swap in Allie to take her place though and if that’s the case, I’ll take Gail to win a good match.

Overall, I really do not want to see Slammiversary, This insanely booked Hardy vs. Hardy feud has just crippled my interest in the show in recent weeks and I don’t see that getting any better anytime soon. If Matt vs. Jeff closes the show over the better or more important match, I’m going to be taking a break from TNA to keep myself from going insane. The show has the potential to be entertaining but TNA needs to nail something special tomorrow night, which I really don’t expect them to do. I mean, it’s not like they ever really do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – June 7, 2016: Their Last Chance

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 7, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s the go home show for Slammiversary and the big question is what the heck Matt and Jeff Hardy are going to do after last week’s bizarre video from inside Matt’s barn with the fake baby and difficult to destroy table. Good or bad, it’s been a hot topic in wrestling ever since so they’re doing something right. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Matt attacking Jeff.

Here’s Matt in the arena to a JEFF IS BETTER chant. Matt talks about how Jeff was jealous of Matt being World Champion so he had to be destroyed. That’s why you won’t see Jeff here tonight, tomorrow or on Sunday. However, before Matt can be whole again, he needs his World Title back. This brings out Drew Galloway, who Matt says would never be champion without Jeff’s help. Matt wants to be added to the main event of Slammiversary but Drew says no. Hardy calls him a coward so Drew agrees to defend the title tonight against Matt.

Madison Rayne vs. Sienna

Winner gets Jade (at ringside here) for the title on Sunday. Allie offers an early verbal distraction, allowing Sienna to get in a few cheap shots from behind. Sienna starts working on the back but can’t hit the AK-47 (that spinning faceplant as dubbed by Dinero). Madison gets in a dropkick but a few shots to the back sets up the AK-47 for the pin and the title shot at 2:33.

Post match Jade saves Madison from a beating. Can we just get the title on Sienna so Gail can get it back in the big special moment at Bound For Glory? You know, for a change of pace.

Maria and Mike Bennett say they’ll win tonight.

Eli Drake is on a mountain and tells Bram to come get him.

Here’s Eli Drake for Fact of Life. Drake’s guest is….himself. Yeah last week he beat Bram because Bram is a dummy. He’ll be champion as long as he wants but tonight he wants to recognize some other champions so here’s Decay. Drake compares them to a basketball team and thinks Rosemary might be the hottest Knockout around under all that makeup. He asks how they’re going to take the BroMans apart on Sunday so Steve talks about all the evil inside them. Abyss says the BroMans aren’t beautiful and they’ll decay at Slammiversary.

Cue the BroMans and Raquel to say they want a fight tonight. A match is teased and it’s Grado and Mahabali Shera coming out because we were starting to get a bit serious. Drake says they should be worried about the Tribunal and presses the DUMMY button a lot. The Tribunal comes out for the big brawl and Bram attacks Drake from behind as we go to a commercial.

Eli Drake/Decay/Tribunal vs. Mahabali Shera/Grado/BroMans/Bram

Shera works on Drake’s arm to start and Eli bails from Bram in a hurry. Abyss comes in and hammers away on Bram before Steve bites his forehead. It’s off to Robbie for a beating from Steve and then another one from Baron Dax as Al Snow continues blowing his whistle. He’s a coach now you see. Basile chinlocks Robbie for a good while but Robbie gets up and brings in Robbie.

A quick BroDown drops Steve but Abyss makes the save as everything breaks down. Robbie gets in a nice dive before Bram starts cleaning house with knees and clotheslines. Grado gets in a Bionic Elbow on Drake but a frog splash only gets two. The referee is distracted though so Drake hits Grado low and does that knee lift/clothesline combo for the pin at 7:50.

Rating: D+. Just too much going on here and nothing had a chance to focus. You had three feuds in one here and that’s a little too much at once. The Tribunal vs. Grado/Shera is one of the weakest feuds in a long time because it revolves around Al Snow. Bram vs. Drake could be good but it’s really not a feud that has any steam going into Sunday. The BroMans are as added on of a set of challengers as I’ve seen in a good while.

Gail Kim does her basic promo about how she wants to show Maria how serious this is. Ethan Carter III talks about how he wants to use the sword of redemption on Bennett this Sunday.

Lashley isn’t pleased with Matt getting a title shot tonight and promises to make sure things go right tonight. Matt says the title is his and Lashley just needs to understand that.

We see Ethan Carter III and Mike Bennett having a weigh-in. A fight broke out of course.

Gail Kim/Ethan Carter III vs. Maria Kanellis/Mike Bennett

Not so fast yet as Maria is going to have Allie take her place. Allie screeches a lot until Ethan actually begs her to stop. Gail comes in to run Allie over but Maria trips her up to give Allie an opening. A double faceplant drops both women though and it’s a double tag to bring in the guys. The 1%er is broken up but Bennett is sent to the floor. Allie goes after Ethan to no avail so the guys run up the ramp. Back inside and Eat Defeat is broken up but Allie’s brainbuster is countered into a small package to give Gail the pin at 4:44.

Rating: C-. Nothing to this one but they’re very wise to have Maria not wrestle as it’s really not her strong suit. Allie is in a weird place as she’s certainly talented in the ring but she’s playing a character who doesn’t have much of a wrestling background. The dynamic is working but Maria is going to have to wrestle at some point.

Post match Sienna runs in and Gail gets a Conchairto on her leg.

Willow hijacks a feed. Great.

X-Division Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Trevor Lee

Lee is defending and has Shane Helms in his corner. Eddie starts the fight on the floor but a Helms distraction lets Trevor stomp him down. A comeback is cut off by another distraction and Trevor stomps away again. Trevor’s atomic drop doesn’t do much as Eddie sends him outside for a plancha followed by a suicide dive.

Back in and Lee uppercuts him in the back of the head before a lifting German suplex gets two. Cue Andrew Everett for a distraction but Lee’s jumping knee only gets two. DJZ comes out for a save but Helms hits Eddie in the head with the title belt to give Lee the pin at 7:09.

Rating: C+. The match was a good technical display but how far have they buried this title? There’s no mention of a title match on Sunday but I’m sure we’ll get some big multi-man match because that’s what the thing is all about. Well at least when they have time to feature the thing between the same people getting four segments a show.

Lashley comes up to Galloway and says he hopes Drew keeps the title tonight. Galloway talks about making Kurt Angle tap out so he’s ready for Lashley.

Gail Kim’s knee is hurt. Uh, thanks as I wouldn’t have gotten that otherwise.

Braxton Sutter vs. Billy Callis

Callis powers him down in to the corner to start but Sutter punches him back. A few kicks to the ribs set up a jumping Downward Spiral to pin Callis at 2:10. Sutter looks good but the name sucks.

Sutter says he’s worked hard to get here and he’s going to take over. That’s no BS.

Willow talks about Jeff Hardy’s war with Matt.

Ethan gives a fired up promo about the showdown with Bennett on Sunday.

We run down the Slammiversary card with Trevor Lee defending the X-Division Title against Andrew Everett, DJZ and Eddie Edwards added. Well that was obvious.

Video on Galloway vs. Lashley.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Drew Galloway

Drew is defending. Josh isn’t sure if Matt vs. Jeff will be happening because no one has seen Jeff, though we’ve seen Willow. They quickly head outside with Drew catching a charging Matt and tilt-a-whirl slamming him on the apron. A Side Effect onto the steps puts Matt in control though and a neckbreaker gets two back inside.

Matt bites the champ’s forehead and puts on his guillotine choke. Drew flips him over for the break and it’s time for some chops to make Matt’s chest red. The Celtic Cross drops Matt but he counters a superplex attempt, only to have Drew lift himself up and throw Matt off the top. The Claymore is loaded up but Lashley comes in for the DQ at 6:15.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but again you knew the ending before they even started. Lashley vs. Galloway is a good enough feud but this company is all about the Hardys and everyone knows it. Lashley basically said he was going to interfere here and that’s not the way you want things to go, especially in a big match like this designed to make you want to buy a pay per view.

Post match Galloway and Lashley fight to the back and the lights go out. They come back on and most of the fans (at least in the lower arena) are wearing Willow masks. Cue a bunch of Willows on the stage when the real Willow appears on screen to say Jeff will be free on Sunday to end Matt once and for all. Here’s Jeff to come out and stare at Matt, who is shocked by this for some reason. They brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Why does this company have to do some good stuff to give me hope for their post Slammiversary stretch? The World Title feud and Bennett vs. Carter are both good but sweet goodness that Hardy vs. Hardy feud is death. It’s a rare situation where all you can do is look at it and pretty much be in awe because there’s nothing that needs to be said about it. Yeah the match is probably going to be a spectacle because both guys are insane but the story building up to it is pure dreadful.

The rest of the show felt crammed together but that’s TNA: focus on one or two things and if there’s time for the rest, those stories are just lucky to get the consideration they receive. Slammiversary is going to be a very up and down show that I’m really not looking forward to but there are parts that could be quite good.

Results

Sienna b. Madison Rayne – AK-47

Decay/Eli Drake/Tribunal b. BroMans/Bram/Grado/Mahabali Shera – Clothesline to Grado

Gail Kim/Ethan Carter III b. Mike Bennett/Allie – Small package to Allie

Trevor Lee b. Eddie Edwards – Pin after Shane Helms hit Edwards with the X-Division Title

Braxton Sutter b. Billy Callis – Jumping Downward Spiral

Drew Galloway b. Matt Hardy via DQ when Lashley interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – May 31, 2016: We Bathe In Matt’s Brilliance

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 31, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We’re getting closer to Slammiversary and the card is set for the most part. After last wee’s Hardy centric episode, tonight is about the World Title as Lashley and Drew Galloway get to choose each other’s opponents in a Pick Your Poison series. Other than that it should be interesting to see what gets some focus heading into the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show, mainly focusing on Matt Hardy.

Dixie Carter is putting a mystery man in charge tonight.

Here are Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis (hokey smoke) to open things up. Mike knows that he’s not in charge because he didn’t hear from Dixie on AOL Instant Messenger or MySpace so he wants the boss to get out here right now. Of course it’s Ethan Carter III and Bennett freezes. Ethan thinks Mike should have the night off tonight and Bennett doesn’t seem to mind.

Actually what Ethan meant was a night off from wrestling because Mike will be cleaning the toilets all night. Maria freaks out but Ethan tells her to put a sock in it. Apparently she’s gotten on management’s nerves so tonight Ethan is reviewing her decisions to see if she’s fired. Bennett threatens violence but Ethan throws them out anyway. Now it’s time for Lashley, who teases a fight with Ethan but just wants to talk about Pick Your Poison with Drew Galloway. This brings out Galloway as we take a break.

We come back to see Ethan showing Mike the toilets he’s in charge of and apparently there’s quite the stench.

Back in the arena, Drew introduces Lashley’s opponent.

Bram vs. Lashley

Non-title. Bram hammers away to start but Lashley pounds him down and takes it to the floor with Bram being sent into the barricade. Lashley takes too much time messing with his headband though and Bram comes back with a few shots to the face. The Brighter Side of Suffering is broken up so Lashley catches him with a spinebuster. Some clotheslines look to set up the spear but instead Lashley heads outside for a chair and that’s a DQ at 6:19.

Rating: D+. This is a match that could have been something interesting but instead it’s a champion looking like a second rate loser. Bram is someone who could be an important talent going forward but why go with that when you can push someone else in his place? At least it wasn’t a clean pin though.

Post match Lashley spears Bram a few times until Galloway comes out for the save with a chair. Cue Eli Drake with his briefcase and you know what’s going on.

King of the Mountain Title: Bram vs. Eli Drake

Bram is defending and kicks out at two at the bell. They slug it out in the corner until Drake hits a knee to the face and clothesline for the pin and the title at 1:01.

Raquel’s latest lesson to the BroMans is to focus, which in this case means watching her walk around the pool in a swimsuit.

Mike Bennett is still cleaning toilets when Earl Hebner walks out of a stall. After a bit of swearing, Bennett is now a referee.

Drake drinks champagne and abuses people backstage.

We go to the Hardy Family Estate where Matt has invited Jeff for the contract signing.

BroMans vs. Tyrus/Rockstar Spud

Bennett is referee and the winners here get a title shot at Slammiversary. Robbie punches Spud to start and it’s off to Tyrus without a tag but Bennett says it’s fine. Jesse gets beaten down by both villains as the announcers talk about how Tyrus and Spud have nothing to do without Matt Hardy being around. A Raquel distraction lets Jesse come in and beat up Spud, setting up the BroDown. The Adonis Lock makes Spud tap at 4:03.

Rating: D+. I can’t imagine they give the BroMans the titles at Slammiversary, even with the good looking manager. Tyrus and Spud being all depressed without Matt around is a really stupid story and doesn’t fit Tyrus whatsoever, but that’s never been a major issue for TNA so I doubt it’s going to change here.

Maria, in a different outfit, is on the phone with Billy Corgan about how Ethan is screwing this place up. Ethan comes up and hangs up the phone. They’re about to head to the ring where he’ll settle this whole ordeal between Gail and Maria.

Clip of Jeff Hardy driving his motorcycle to Matt’s estate.

Ethan is in the ring as Maria, Allie and Sienna come down. The other two (Girl A and Girl B according to Ethan) are asked to leave as Ethan brings Gail Kim down. The result is going to be a match between the two of them at Slammiversary, which is what Gail has wanted from the beginning. As for tonight though, Gail has a partner and since Maria has two women on her team, we’ll have a tag match right now.

Gail Kim/Jade vs. Sienna/Allie

Allie screeches a lot as Gail and Sienna slug it out to start. A shot from Allie lets Sienna take over as the screeching continues. Sienna and Allie hit a double slam on Gail for two before it’s off to Jade to kick Sienna down. A missile dropkick gets two on Sienna but Allie tags herself in and tries to talk her way out of getting beaten up. That earns her forearms and a kick to the head as Sienna comes back in, only to Eats Defeat, followed by Jade package piledriving Allie in the face for the pin at 5:17.

Rating: D. Allie’s screaming is a big detraction here but this continues the theme of “let’s have good looking women on the show.” I know the Knockouts are a big deal but tonight has been a lot more about making the women into eye candy, with Allie’s short skirt here being a prime example.

We go back to the estate where Matt is playing the piano when Jeff comes in. Matt talks about this place being their genesis and walks away.

Back in the arena, Bennett freaks out on Ethan because he’s not a janitor or a referee. Bennett: “And my wife isn’t a wrestler.” Ethan gives him a match tonight and hopefully his opponent is sober.

James Storm vs. Mike Bennett

Joined in progress with Bennett in street clothes and getting two off a clothesline. We’re already off to a chinlock for a bit before Storm makes his comeback with right hands and clotheslines. Storm hits the Eye of the Storm and looks to set up the Last Call but Maria distracts him with a beer. Somehow this works on a former World Champion and a slap to the face lets Bennett grab a rollup for the pin at 5:55.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and since there was no real reason for them to be fighting it was a pretty worthless six minutes. It also doesn’t help that a former World Champion is easily pinned by a slap and rollup but they had to come up with some way out of this for Bennett.

Post match Ethan says he’s coming for Bennett at Slammiversary.

Here’s Al Snow to a BORING chant to talk about how he’s looking for talent over in England. This brings out Baron Dax and Basile Baraka (Marcus Louis and Sylvester LeFort), now collectively known as the Tribunal. Both of them talk about how they’re bringing talent and class back to wrestling. Snow yells about wanting to get rid of weapons unlike Grado, who he beat with a single wrestling move last week.

We see him pinning Grado after a Snow Plow, but here are Grado and Mahabali Shera to show us the full footage, including Snow using a trashcan lid. Snow goes off about how kids these days can doctor footage on any computer. Somehow parents are brought into this and Snow says Shera’s mom loves him. The fight is on and Snow hits Grado and Shera with a chair so the beatdown can be on.

Braxton Sutter (Pepper Parks) talks about how most people get their big break earlier but the day he was offered a contract was one of the best days of his life. He doesn’t have a story of when he started watching wrestling because it’s always been there for him. His goal is to be World Heavyweight Champion and he’ll start anywhere. This was a serious speech but had some emotion to it in a nice moment.

We run down the pay per view card.

Back to the Hardy estate where Matt says this must all end where it began. Jeff follows him into a barn where there’s a ring set up. Josh says stay tuned to find out if the match was signed. I’m sure that’s why they just advertised it on the pay per view rundown.

Lashley comes out to announce Drew’s opponent.

Drew Galloway vs. Decay

As in all three members. Drew fights both men at the same time but can’t bring himself to punch Rosemary. That allows the numbers game to take over with Drew being sent to the floor for a big beatdown, including a whip head first into the post. Back inside and the guys take turns hitting Drew in the face until Galloway starts his comeback. Rosemary comes in and almost eats the Futureshock. The Claymore is caught in a chokeslam for two so it’s Janice time. Cue Lashley to spear Abyss by mistake, allowing Galloway to Claymore and Futureshock Steve for the pin at 6:21.

Rating: D+. So Decay is off TV for weeks and then comes back to get beaten in a handicap match? No it wasn’t clean but you couldn’t drag out any two heels for this to work? Or have Lashley knock/choke Drew out for the pin? No apparently the best they have is Drew going over all of them at once because that’s how TNA thinks.

Enough of the World Title though as it’s time to go back to the Hardys. Matt says this must end where it all began, which apparently is the ring in the barn. Jeff goes to get in but Matt rolls outside to a small table. Jeff wants this to end but here’s Reby to throw a fake baby at him. Matt hits Jeff with something made of glass and gives him a Side Effect (IN FREAKING SLOW MOTION) through the table. Matt promises that this will end at Slammiversary.

Overall Rating: D. While still not good, this was WAY better than last week as they actually didn’t focus on just Matt vs. Jeff. This week it was about all three big stories but unfortunately we now have to sit around and watch Matt praise his own brilliance or whatever it is that he’s doing now because no one in TNA will ever tell him no. The rest of the show was more watchable due to more wrestling and less stupid talking but it still was a pretty boring show as TNA runs through what could have been weeks of stories in a night because they don’t have the roster to make anything else work.

Results

Bram b. Lashley via DQ when Lashley used a chair

Eli Drake b. Bram – Clothesline

BroMans b. Rockstar Spud/Tyrus – Adonis Lock to Spud

Gail Kim/Jade b. Sienna/Allie – Package piledriver to Allie

Mike Bennett b. James Storm – Rollup

Drew Galloway b. Decay – Futureshock to Steve

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – May 10, 2016: It’s Matt Hardy

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 10, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We’re about a month away from Slammiversary and for the most part the show hasn’t been brought up yet. Save for maybe a mention here or there, nothing yet has been announced. I’m sure you can figure out most of the card by this point though and things are ranging from interesting to not all that great. Let’s get to it.

The announcers talk about Lashley being the new #1 contender to the World Title.

We recap last week’s triple threat main event with Decay beating down Jeff Hardy so Lashley could get the win and the title shot.

Here’s Jeff Hardy to get things going by calling out Decay. Cue the whole team with Abyss talking about how Jeff’s devotion to the fans have made him weak. Steve says the same things so Jeff thinks the only way you can decay is when you die. “And that’s ok because I’m about to kill you.”

Rosemary implies that they were paid off to take out Hardy (well someone has to pay for that face paint) and that person will reveal themselves at the right time (It’s going to be Matt Hardy. Just save time and say it’s Matt Hardy already. Everyone knows it’s going to be Matt Hardy so just say it’s Matt Hardy and get us to the TLC match they’re going to have at Slammiversary, likely in the real main event.).

For now the brawl is on until James Storm comes out for the save. Abyss is willing to destroy both of them for free tonight. Jeff: “Let’s pretend I’m the weatherman.” No Jeff, I don’t want to pretend you’re a weatherman. It’s something about a charismatic storm after the break.

Tag Team Titles: Jeff Hardy/James Storm vs. Decay

Decay is defending and this is Storm’s guaranteed rematch since Roode is gone. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Storm for some clotheslines on Abyss before a Sling Blade gets two. Abyss drops Storm though and chokeslams Steve onto him for a near fall of his own. Storm raises a boot to stop a charging Steve and brings in Jeff for a Twist of Fate on Abyss. The Swanton is loaded up but the lights go out and Willow (Jeff’s old character) appears on stage. Gee, I wonder who is under the mask. A double mist from Decay sets up the Black Hole Slam on Jeff to retain the titles at 6:15.

Rating: D+. Yeah it’s going to be Matt Hardy. As usual this is one of those ideas that really doesn’t need to be this in depth but TNA feels the need to build up the Hardy vs. Hardy feud, which really should be the biggest story in the history of wrestling because the Hardys are totally huge deals who have NEVER had a major violent feud before.

Remember how we looked at the triple threat match from last week? Well now we’re going to do that again, for the second time in about twenty minutes.

Drew Galloway doesn’t like Lashley.

Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis were at a Smashing Pumpkins concert last week and hung out with the band after the show.

Here’s Galloway for a chat. Drew is sick of Lashley and wants him out here right now. Lashley comes out and we get the traditional exchange of respectful greetings. We hear about how Lashley got into Kurt Angle’s head, which Drew says is Lashley’s game. He’ll try to get inside your head and then break you down physically, but Drew wants to fight tonight. Lashley says we can wait a week and leaves but Drew is going to fight tonight.

Cue Eli Drake to say it’ll never be over between the two of them. Drake is here to win gold and he’s going to win it all, even if he has to learn to do flips and win the Tag Team Titles on his own. Tonight though he’ll take that World Title and it’s time for a fight with a title match starting after a break.

TNA World Title: Drew Galloway vs. Eli Drake

Drew is defending of course. Drake starts choking and drops a leg for two before they head outside with Drew firing off chops. Back in and the Future Shock is broken up so Drew settles for a snap powerslam for two. Drake tries to bring in the briefcase but the referee takes it away. Instead it’s the Claymore to the face and the Future Shock to retain the title at 5:42.

Rating: C-. As usual Drake isn’t much beyond competent in the ring but at least we got to hear some of his sweet mic work earlier in the night. I’m really not wild on the World Title being on in the first hour, especially given what is likely going to be happening in the main event slot. This was fine enough though.

Ethan Carter III wants a rematch with Mike Bennett and isn’t leaving the ring until he gets it.

Jade and Gail Kim are in Maria’s office and are going to be facing each other tonight. Maria wants a five star match like the ones that Davey M. guy is always talking about.

Here’s Ethan Carter, who makes sure to soak in some of the cheers before getting to his point. For over two years he was unbreakable, unbendable and unbeatable but now he’s just a man with a vendetta. Therefore, Bennett needs to fetch his wife and get out here to talk business. I’m sure there’s a reason Maria changed outfits between segments. Maria loads up her name but Ethan dubs her Toots McGee and cuts her off.

Mike says he has a huge ego because he was the first man to beat the unbeatable. Ethan wants a rematch right now but apparently Maria has talked to Billy Corgan and there’s a new idea. Apparently Mike has a challenge for Ethan in the form of a road to redemption. We’ll start tonight inside Six Sides of Steel with Ethan facing…..someone.

We look back at Willow distracting Jeff Hardy earlier tonight.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Jade

Jade is defending and Sienna is at ringside. Gail takes it to the mat for an early headlock but Jade comes back with one of her own. A crucifix is countered but Gail counters the counter into an armdrag, followed by an exchange of hurricanranas. They shake hands until Jade gets in a German suplex for two. A cross armbreaker over the ropes has Gail in trouble but Kim sends her outside for a suicide dive. Sienna offers a distraction so Jade can get in a suicide dive of her own, only to have Sienna beat Jade down for the DQ at 5:30.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it was clear that they were doing the mirroring story, which almost guaranteed the interference for the DQ ending. It’s a really good idea to have Sienna as an enforcer for Maria because no one is going to buy Maria as someone who can beat Gail or even hang with her. There was nothing to the match of course but there was no reason for there to be one here.

Sienna beats both of them down post match.

We go to Al Snow’s Wrestling Academy with a trainer torturing a student, which is how things used to be. Snow rants about how this is now the exception because it’s all about how the young guys get to come in and live their dreams without putting in any effort. Snow wants to be the Donald Trump of wrestling and make it great again, starting with Grado and Shera.

Ethan wants to know his opponent.

Al Snow vs. Mahabali Shera

Snow gets him into a chase around the ring before grabbing a wristlock back inside. They head outside with Snow pulling out a foreign object for a shot to the throat. Pope: “The Sheik just texted me.” That’s only good for two so Snow chokes with wrist tape for two more. The fans chant for Grado as Snow hits the Snow Plow for two more. Cue Grado to break up another foreign object shot, allowing Shera to hit the Sky High for the pin at 5:27.

Rating: D-. What in the world is the point of this story? They really don’t have anything better to do than doing an Al Snow vs. two comedy guys feud? As in that’s how weak the rosters have gotten at this point? I don’t know who this is supposed to be appealing to, but it’s certainly not me.

Jeff Hardy attacks Willow in the back and beats him down. After a break, Jeff is still at it until two more Willows attack him with the third giving him a Conchairto.

Video on Lashley vs. Galloway next week.

Ethan Carter III vs. ???

Inside a cage and the opponent is……Rockstar Spud. Carter hammers away to start and sends him into the cage a few times. Spud gets in a quick shot and chokes with his belt but he still can’t get out. Back in (after Spud looks like he’s being dragged under the bed in a slasher movie) and Carter keeps beating him up until Spud tries a fast climb. Carter is actually kicked off the cage and Spud drops a top rope elbow for two. The beating continues with Spud going into the cage over and over before gorilla pressing him off the top of the cage. The 1%er puts Spud away at 8:24.

Rating: D. Nothing to this one but it was entertaining enough. This was designed to be a squash so it worked on that front, but there’s only so much you can get out of a match with a clear ending and Spud getting squashed on less than an hour’s notice. It’s a cool idea for a story, even if it’s the same thing Sami Zayn did in NXT in 2014. At least they’re copying good promotions this time.

Overall Rating: D+. I really wasn’t feeling this one as it was almost all about three stories: Jeff Hardy vs. Willow (it’s Matt Hardy), Ethan Carter III vs. Mike Bennett and Lashley vs. Drew Galloway. My problem here is that the weakest of these stories (Hardy vs. Hardy) is getting the most TV time and attention. I wouldn’t be surprised that’s the main event of Slammiversary either, or at least the real main event of the show. This one really didn’t work all that well though and that’s going to be the case until they spread the focus around a little bit.

Results

Decay b. Jeff Hardy/James Storm – Black Hole Slam to Hardy

Drew Galloway b. Eli Drake – Future Shock

Jade b. Gail Kim via DQ when Sienna interfered

Mahabali Shera b. Al Snow – Sky High

Ethan Carter III b. Rockstar Spud – 1%er

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – May 3, 2016: Shut Up Already

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 3, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

For the first time in a long time, we’re coming up on a pay per view with Slammiversary airing in June. The big stories at the moment are Drew Galloway wanting to fight Lashley, probably in the pay per view main event, and Mike Bennett being the first man to defeat Ethan Carter III which likely sets up a rematch at Slammiversary as well. Now take all of that and forget most of it because it’s time to put the focus back on the Hardy Boyz. Let’s get to it.

Earlier today, Lashley attacked Drew Galloway at the gym and beat the champ down. They wound up in an MMA cage and Lashley knocked him down with one punch but couldn’t choke him out. Eventually some other wrestlers broke it up.

We look at Bennett pinning Carter last week.

Mike and Maria come out with the former bragging about being the one man to finally pull something off that no one else ever could last week. No one in the back can beat him and now he deserves to be World Champion. This brings out Jeff Hardy because of course it does, though at least it’s not so he can yell at Matt. Jeff doesn’t think much of Bennett beating Carter because it just makes him a joke. The fans say Jeff is better and a match is pitched for later tonight. Bennett says he’ll go ask Dixie but Jeff cleans house, prompting Mike to say we’ll do it.

Mike Bennett vs. Jeff Hardy

Joined in progress with Bennett slapping on a chinlock. Jeff fights back with an atomic drop and the legdrop between the legs but here’s Lashley to spear Jeff for the DQ at 1:48.

Bennett gets speared as well because Lashley is going to run through the entire roster until Dixie Carter gives him what he wants. Here’s Dixie who is indignant that Lashley wants to be handed a title shot. She makes Hardy vs. Bennett vs. Lashley for the #1 contendership as tonight’s main event with Drew as guest referee.

Rosemary asks Crazzy Steve is he’s ready for his transformation. He certainly is so she spits something into his mouth. Abyss takes off his mask and gets the same treatment. The stuff seems to burn both of their faces.

Here’s Decay for a chat. Rosemary talks about the team taking the titles from the people’s heroes last week and their transformations. Steve can now speak and talks about how Rosemary has changed him. Rosemary talks about how many people have tried to control Abyss, including his father and brother. Now though he can show his true self, which means he wears paint instead of a mask. Abyss says he’s beautiful and the fans seem to agree. Cue James Storm to say he’s a cowboy who drinks a lot of beer. It’s time for a fight and Decay is quickly dispatched. We’re not done yet though as Storm wants Abyss right now.

Abyss vs. James Storm

Joined in progress as well with Storm getting in a baseball slide to take the brawl outside. Rosemary and Steve go after Storm but neither draws a DQ, likely because of plot convenience. Storm fights back inside with his shots to the face and a bulldog for two. Abyss gets the same off a chokeslam but Storm puts him back down with a Sling Blade, setting up a top rope elbow for another near fall. Steve’s mist doesn’t work but Abyss’ blinds Storm so the Black Hole Slam can put him away at 6:00.

Rating: D+. This was what you would expect and the right ending with Abyss getting a win to confirm the Decay’s new power. I’m starting to like the stuff they’re going with after a long time of feeling like they were just another goth gimmick. If nothing else it’s actually getting more mileage out of Abyss which continues to astound me.

Maria wants Dixie to look at some papers. Jade better be smarter than Gail Kim was.

Jeff Hardy is more concerned about winning the title tonight than Matt.

Here’s Maria to call out Jade for a chat. Maria sees Jade’s star on the rise but thinks she needs to just hand over the title now because Jade wouldn’t be anywhere without her. Jade says no so Maria brings out her friend Sienna to fight the champ. Sienna throws her around to start but Jade gets in a few kicks. They head outside with Jade being sent hard into the steps. Back inside and Sienna gives her something like a spinning Big Ending to leave Jade laying.

Bram says he’s been called a lot of things and now he’s being called champion.

And now, in case you haven’t heard enough talking yet, we have a sitdown interview with Ethan Carter III. Well at least we would if he was here but Bennett comes in to say that Ethan is missing because he’s scared. Tonight he’ll get his title shot no matter what.

King of the Mountain Title: Bram vs. Eli Drake vs. Andrew Everett vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Jesse Godderz

Bram is defending in a King of the Mountain match, meaning you have to get a pin to become eligible to hang the title. If you pin someone, they’re sent to a penalty box for a minute so there’s some strategy involved. Jesse and Eli trade rollups to start as Everett hides on the floor with Shane Helms. Bram plants Everett with a powerbomb for the pin to become eligible early on.

Eddie grabs a half crab on Drake but Everett breaks it up for no logical reason. Edwards sends him out to the floor and hits a big dive, only to have Drake get in a cheap shot from behind for a rollup and pin to become eligible. Bram sets up a ladder and gets the belt but Jesse dropkicks him down. Drake slams Jesse but the champ comes back in for a Cactus Clothesline.

Everett misses a moonsault and gets caught in the Adonis Lock for a quick submission to make Jesse eligible. Edwards and Everett brawl to the back to leave us with three people. Godderz goes up but Drake pulls him down and hits him in the head with the Feast or Fired briefcase. He takes too long going up though and it’s Bram dropkicking the ladder down, allowing him to hang the title to retain at 7:25.

Rating: D+. I’m just not a fan of these matches and this didn’t change anything. It’s four guys getting title shots for no logical reason and this week the title is defended in a King of the Mountain match after last week’s title change was in a regular match. Just call the thing the TV Title and get rid of this stupid gimmick already because it’s way more complicated than it needs to be.

Drake tries to cash in post match but Bram gets up and chases him off.

Galloway says he’s had a rough day so he’d love to see Lashley try to put his hands on him.

Matt Hardy sits in the shadows and accuses Jeff of trying to remove him from this dimension. Their war isn’t done.

Before the main event, Ethan Carter III comes out to congratulate Bennett on the win. Carter isn’t like the rest of those people who lost to him over the years and then came out here to complain about it. He accepts this loss but it’s changed him. Bennett needs to go and win that World Title because he wants to take the title back from Mike one day. Carter rants about how the loss made him incomplete and kept him from becoming the best wrestler on the planet. He’ll be back for Bennett soon enough.

Jeff Hardy vs. Lashley vs. Mike Bennett

For the #1 contendership with champion Drew Galloway as guest referee. Drew promises to call this down the middle and we’re finally ready to go. It’s a slow start with both guys going after Lashley who easily powers them away. The big guy is sent outside though and Jeff takes them both out with a Whisper in the Wind as we go to a break.

Back with Jeff still fighting off both guys but eating a powerslam from Lashley. A long delayed vertical suplex, complete with a point to Galloway, plants Bennett. The spear hits Galloway though, followed by Bennett hitting the cutter on Lashley. Jeff dropkicks Bennett to the floor and adds the Swanton on Lashley for no count.

Bennett is sent face first into the steps over and over, followed by a Swanton onto Bennett on the steps. Cue the Decay for no apparent reason to go after Hardy, including a chokeslam onto the steps. Decay leaves so Lashley spears Jeff into the post for a great looking crash. Another spear gives Lashley the pin and the title shot at 14:02.

Rating: C. The match was entertaining enough at times and I’ll take Decay vs. Jeff over Hardy vs. Hardy any day. Lashley was the obvious winner here and that’s fine but this needed more time instead to really get good. If you take out the commercial and the Decay interference, this was under ten minutes long and that’s really not enough for a big epic match.

Lashley and Drew brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This one really didn’t do it for me as they didn’t even have thirty minutes of wrestling in a two hour show. There was just WAY too much talking on here and even though there was some good stuff built up, you have to actually have something in there instead of just setting up stuff for six weeks from now. I wasn’t feeling this one and the pacing issues really need to be fixed, including less than eight minutes of wrestling in the first seventy five minutes of a show. Big miss this week and that’s not a good sign on the first show of a new taping cycle.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Mike Bennett via DQ when Lashley interfered

Abyss b. James Storm – Black Hole Slam

Bram b. Eli Drake, Andrew Everett, Eddie Edwards and Jesse Godderz – Bram hung the title

Lashley b. Jeff Hardy and Mike Bennett – Spear to Hardy

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – April 26, 2016: Another Tuesday Sacrificed

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 26, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s another one of those big TV specials (Sacrifice in this case) for TNA with a main event of Tyrus challenging Drew Galloway for the TNA World Title. Other than that we have Ethan Carter III vs. Mike Bennett in a No DQ match and Beer Money defending the Tag Team Titles against Decay in a Valley of Shadows match. Let’s get to it.

Tyrus and Rockstar Spud are in the ring to start with Tyrus talking about how Drew Galloway has promised to defend the title against him no matter what condition he’s in. Here’s Drew and we’re ready to go.

TNA World Title: Tyrus vs. Drew Galloway

Drew is defending and has bad ribs coming in. Tyrus does the smart thing to start and sends Drew to the floor for some kicks from Spud. Some chops knock Tyrus back but the big man goes right back after the ribs to take over. A double legdrop to the ribs gets two but Tyrus misses a Vader Bomb. With the tape ripped off, Drew comes off the top with a chop to the head and (doesn’t) plant Tyrus with a horrible bulldog.

Spud gets dragged in and suplexed for his efforts, followed by a Claymore for two on Tyrus because this match MUST continue. A World’s Strongest Slam puts Drew down so Tyrus goes up, only to get caught with a right hand to the face. Drew gets two more off a superplex before the Futureshock puts Tyrus away at 7:55.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t even bad but it felt like it went on forever because only TNA thinks Tyrus is even the slightest bit interesting. Thankfully this gets rid of Tyrus as anything of importance and lets us move past the brilliant idea to have him win a World Title shot at the biggest show of the year.

We recap last week’s main event with Jeff Hardy hitting a Swanton off the set to knock out both guys.

Maria has plans for the Knockouts division.

Beer Money doesn’t care what the Valley of Shadows is because this is all about their legacy with the titles.

Maria is here to talk about rebuilding the Knockouts division through a revolution. Yeah they’re not even hiding the ripoff here. Cue Gail Kim to say Maria is ruining everything that has been built and to accuse Maria of having Rosemary kidnap her last week. Maria threatens her with her power and makes Gail vs. Rosemary. If this is really supposed to lead to Gail vs. Maria, they’re even more delusional than they thought.

Gail Kim vs. Rosemary

Rosemary has Crazzy Steve with her. It’s a brawl to start with Gail being sent outside and into the post. Back in and Rosemary puts on a full nelson with her legs. Gail easily gets out and puts on the figure four around the post, followed by a twisting top rope cross body for two. A Scorpion Death Drop gets two for Gail but Steve pulls her to the floor. This brings out Maria for a distraction, allowing Rosemary to mist Gail, followed by an F5 for the pin at 6:11.

Rating: D+. If there’s a point to this story coming that isn’t Gail vs. Maria coming anytime soon, I’d love for them to get to it already. The problem here is we’ve covered so much of Gail over the years that it’s really hard to get fired up about her again. In other words: GIVE US SOMETHING NEW ALREADY.

Here’s Eli Drake for Fact of Life where the mission is to name all the dummies. Like for instance Jeff Hardy, who dove off a scaffold to prove that he’s extreme. Or like Drew Galloway, who thinks having a belt makes him a big deal. Drake has a button to press after every name that says DUMMY, YEAH. His guests tonight are the BroMans, who are now wearing glasses.

Unfortunately they have no lenses so Drake thinks they’re dummies. Jesse had the chance to ride Eli’s coattails but decided to get back together with this waste of space like Robbie E. Jesse brings up the loss to Grado so Drake gets in his face and calls him every name he can think of, capped off by, of course, dummy. The BroMans quickly dispatch him and make fun of Drake’s catchphrase. As usual, Drake has a great presence to him and was one of the bright spots on the show.

Decay is ready for their Tag Team Title shot.

Ethan Carter III says he isn’t perfect because he’s no longer the World Champion. He’s on his way back though through revenge and that starts tonight with Mike Bennett.

Tag Team Titles: Beer Money vs. Decay

Decay is challenging in a Valley of Shadows match, which means anything goes. I’m assuming at least as there’s no explanation before the match. There are weapons everywhere and the lights are dimmer than usual. The champs control to start but are quickly pulled to the floor to keep up the brawl. Of course the lighting makes it difficult to see what’s going on but that might be best all around.

Pope tells us that this is No DQ and Josh throws in that it’s no countout, which you could tell on your own, furthering the theory that TNA announcers are entirely worthless. Decay takes over with Abyss throwing a bunch of weapons into the ring to continue the beating on the champs. Apparently Rosemary interfered at one point but the announcers couldn’t see what she did because of the lighting. A Rocket Launcher is broken up and Roode catapults Steve into a DDT from Storm. Abyss eats a spinebuster from Roode and a top rope elbow from Storm gets two.

We take a break and come back with Abyss bringing in the barbed wire board because this is yet another name for Monster’s Ball. The double suplex puts Steve onto the barbed wire but Abyss breaks up the name shouting. Now it’s thumbtacks because, again, this is Monster’s Ball. Rosemary comes in and mists Abyss by mistake, earning him a beer bottle to the head for two. Steve shoves Storm off the top and through a table, followed by a low blow to Roode. The chokeslam onto the tacks gives Decay the titles at 15:33.

Rating: C. Yeah fine. I know Roode is leaving and the team is done so Decay getting the belts makes more than enough sense but I’ve seen Abyss doing this match with this exact same set of spots so many times that it’s really hard to care anymore. Overall the match was fine but there’s no connection to it, which is the case for so many things in TNA.

We look back at Eric Young cutting off Bram’s beard last week.

Bram, still with a huge beard, says he’s ticked off and wants to end Young tonight.

Mike Bennett talks about how much his debut has changed things for Ethan Carter. No one has pinned him either so tonight the streak comes to an end.

King of the Mountain Title: Bram vs. Eric Young

Young is defending and they go at it from the bell. This is also falls count anywhere because we haven’t just gotten done with a hardcore style match. Bram backdrops him for two but the Brighter Side of Suffering off the apron is countered with a grab of the beard. Young pulls out a trashcan lid but opts for a low blow instead. A DDT plants Bram and there’s a trashcan lid shot for good measure. Young bites the face to break up a superplex attempt and drops the top rope elbow for two. The piledriver through a table is countered into the Brighter Side of Suffering through the same table for the pin and the title at 6:29.

Rating: D+. AND STAY OUT YOU RASPY VOICED PEST WITH A STUPID BEARD!!! In case you didn’t know, that was it for Eric Young and I couldn’t be happier. The guy always felt like he was in way too high of a spot and while he did have some moments, I’m so glad to see him finally out of TNA. Bram should have had that title a long time ago with Young being left out but then where would we have been without Young to guide us?

Drew Galloway wants to fight Lashley next week.

Here’s a banged up Jeff Hardy to update us on his condition. Jeff says he did what he did last week because he’s Jeff Hardy and hopefully that put some sense into Matt’s head. This brings out Reby and Spud to yell about how Jeff is selfish for hurting Matt. Reby slaps him a few times until Jeff knocks her hand away. Spud goes after Jeff’s leg and gets a Twist of Fate for his efforts.

Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III

Street fight. They get right in each others faces to start and Ethan clotheslines him out to the floor. Bennett grabs a chair but gets backdropped out to the floor for his efforts. Some chops up against the barricade have Bennett in even more trouble and Carter stops a charge in the corner with a raised boot. Mike sends him shoulder first into the post though and the arm is wrapped around the post for good measure.

Ethan starts his comeback but can’t get the 1%er. Instead he settles for two off a jumping Downward Spiral, followed by a double clothesline to put both guys down. Bennett grabs a quick cutter for two so it’s time to beat the tar out of Carter with a chair. The 1%er connects but Maria comes in to break up the cover. Carter unloads on him with the chair and puts on a cobra clutch, only to have Bennett climb the ropes and flip backwards for the first ever pin on Carter at 11:08.

Rating: B. I’m digging the heck out of this feud and I’m hoping it continues. The key thing here though is that they treated Carter getting pinned as something big and then gave that accolade to someone who could go somewhere with it. Really solid main event here and exactly what this show needed.

Bennett is STUNNED to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event helped a lot but this really didn’t feel like a big show. The name didn’t help things either as this felt more like Hardcore Justice than a run of the mill show like Sacrifice. It doesn’t help that the World Title match had Tyrus involved and then three straight hardcore style matches. The main event was good though and TNA has some potential going forward, even though I have no reason to believe it’s going to last.

Results

Drew Galloway b. Tyrus – Futureshock

Rosemary b. Gail Kim – F5

Decay b. Beer Money – Chokeslam onto a pile of tacks

Bram b. Eric Young – Brighter Side of Suffering through a table

Mike Bennett b. Ethan Carter III – Rollup counter to a cobra clutch

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – April 19, 2016: Stretching Instead Of Entertaining

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 19, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s a big night here as we have the battle of the Hardyz with the right to the last name on the line. In this case it’s an I Quit match over the name, as well as a ladder match with all of the Knockouts at once for control of the division. This isn’t about the title but rather about who runs the Knockouts as a whole. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Hardyz feud and how big tonight is.

Knockouts Ladder Match

Pretty much every active Knockout is involved here. Gail goes after Jade to start as it’s a bunch of brawling all over the place. The Beautiful People (still a thing because of reasons) dropkick a ladder into the Dollhouse’s collective faces, only to have Jade get up and do the Terry Funk ladder around the head spot.

Gail gets pulled down and slapped by Maria, sending them up the ramp in a chase. Cue Rosemary and the Decay to blast Gail with a kendo stick and kidnap her, even further guaranteeing the winner here. The rest of the match stays broken down with Jade clearing out the ring but getting powerbombed off the ladder by Marti. Maria kendo sticks Velvet down and goes up for the contract to win control at 5:13.

Rating: D. Were you expecting anything else? Maria and Gail are the only real characters in the whole division so who else were you going to go with here? Gail being kidnapped is better than having her talk about how serious things need to be for a change and Maria is far more entertaining than the rest of the division so this is the right idea all around. Horrible match of course but Maria isn’t much of a worker.

Drew Galloway is going to call out Lashley right now.

Maria and Mike Bennett are happy.

Decay has Gail in the rafters.

Here’s Drew, with heavily taped ribs, to call Lashley out. Apparently the spears from last week have cracked his ribs and he’s not allowed to wrestle this week. However, the TNA officials didn’t say anything about him fighting tonight. Drew invites Lashley out here to finish the job but it’s Rockstar Spud coming out instead.

Spud says if there was a match right now, he’d easily become the new World Champion. He’s out here to warn us that tonight is the last night that we’re going to see Jeff Hardy. Drew is about to beat him down when Tyrus comes out to say he told us so. Those ribs are a target and that’s what Tyrus likes. He’ll take that title match next week and it doesn’t matter what condition Drew is in. Drew agrees and they shake hands. Spud goes after Drew and it’s a double beatdown on the ribs, including a big splash.

Reby Hardy is holding a camera to film Matt, who promises to make Jeff quit once and for all.

The Decay still has Gail, who Rosemary calls a pawn.

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Trevor Lee

Lee is defending and none of them get entrances. The champ bails to the floor to start but is almost immediately chopped by both challengers. Edwards is sent into the post so Lee hooks DJZ in a chinlock. That’s broken up with a jawbreaker until Eddie comes back in with a hard shot to Lee. Shane Helms pulls DJZ to the floor but Eddie breaks up a superplex attempt. Shane gets on the apron again though, allowing Andrew Everett to run in and shove Eddie into a jumping knee to retain Trevor’s title at 4:20.

Rating: D. So much for Lee doing anything with the title and all the work that Tigre Uno put into his title reign for that matter. Now it’s all about Shane Helms and a boring string of matches where Lee is a glorified project instead of the focus of the division like he’s supposed to be.

Everett gives Edwards a 630 post match.

Post break Shane and company says that Andrew Everett is the newest member of the Helms Dynasty.

Here are Eric Young and Bram for Eric’s weekly “I’m awesome” speech. He brags about how devastating the piledriver is and says no one can beat him because everyone can try. Young is tired of TNA sucking up to these young punks like the marble mouth Scotsman Drew Galloway.

Therefore, this is the last time you’ll be seeing him because he and Bram quit. Actually not so fast because Bram doesn’t quit. Bram is tired of playing second fiddle to Eric and thinks that King of the Mountain Title would look better around a real man’s waist. Young gets in a quick piledriver and walks off, only to come back and grab a pair of scissors to shave Bram’s beard.

Jeff Hardy thinks the World Title changed Matt and he’ll do whatever he has to do tonight.

Here are Mike Bennett and Maria with something to say. Mike wants all the attention on him because it’s time for a fairy tale. Once upon a time there was a prince with full control over a kingdom and his name was Ethan Carter III (dang I was hoping for Adam Cole). Prince Ethan had it all until one day a white knight called the miracle arrived. Then one day the Prince decided to fight the knight, who took all of the Prince’s power. This is now Bennett’s Kingdom of Miracles but here’s Ethan to interrupt.

Ethan wants the record to show that it was a disqualification win but then he beat Bennett down. He likes a lot of Bennett’s style but at the end of the day, Ethan is just the better man. If Bennett won’t fight him, Ethan will be Mike’s new shadow and beat him down every chance he can. Bennett says that the two of them can fight as many times as they want and he’ll beat Ethan every time because Ethan will keep coming back with another excuse. Ethan talks about how he’s never been pinned or submitted around here but if Mike wants to be the man, face him next week in a No DQ match at Sacrifice. Bennett is game.

Gail wakes up and calls Decay insane.

Here’s Al Snow to talk about how much he can’t stand this group of fans. They’ll watch every week and complain about it on the internet but then they keep watching. Back in the day, not everyone was allowed in the wrestling business and Snow would never pay to see any of these people in the ring. Tonight, he’s giving Mahabali Shera a lesson in what wrestling really means.

Al Snow vs. Mahabali Shera

Al jumps Shera during the entrance and stomps him down before grabbing the mic and calling fans into the ring for a fight. Shera makes his comeback and knocks Snow outside, only to have Al crawl under the ring and come out the other side to deck Shera again. Back in and Snow shrugs off another comeback by hitting Shera in the head with a foreign object. Snow takes forever and covers for the pin at 5:35, giving us a great overhyped cover and celebrating.

Rating: D. Snow is playing the character really well but good night there’s just no hiding the fact that it’s Al Snow getting this kind of time. You would think there would be someone else to take this spot and get a nice run out of it but since TNA can barely run a TV show anymore, the young guys are now doing jobs for people who barely wrestle once a year.

Decay says Gail might be sacrificed.

Eli Drake will have his own talk show next week called Fact of Life.

Here’s Decay with Gail for the plan’s payoff. Rosemary calls us all pawns and puppets and threatens to cut off Gail’s hair. Abyss says the only thing that can save her now is Beer Money, so here are the champs for the save. Storm and Roode have to stay at ringside because Abyss has to issue a challenge for the Tag Team Titles. However, he wants the match to have no rules or regulations, which is called the Valley of Shadows. The match is on and Gail is released.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

I Quit for the Hardy name. Jeff headscissors him out of the corner to start and they clothesline each other a few times. Jeff can’t get the Twist of Fate so he puts on a Figure Four of all things to make Matt scream no a lot. The hold is turned over twice so here’s Rockstar Spud for the save, only to have Jeff powerbomb him with ease. Matt uses the distraction to knock his brother out to the floor where he pelts a chair at Jeff’s head to break up a dive.

We take a break and come back with Matt bending Jeff’s arm around the barricade but getting pulled into the steel for his efforts. They head into the production area with Jeff swinging a pipe to hit Matt’s ring bell before going up towards the rafters. Jeff slides down the railing with a chair to the head but Matt still won’t quit.

Matt gets knocked onto some cases so Jeff can climb a ladder, only to have Matt climb up and hit a Side Effect to drive him though a piece of barricade. Back up and Jeff grabs a choke to knock Matt out without him quitting. That’s fine with Jeff who goes way up on top of the set for a Swanton onto Matt through a table. The match is stopped at about 18:30 as medics take care of them both and we go off the air.

Rating: C+. So yeah, after all that, there’s no finish and we’re likely getting something else out of these two in weeks to come because they’re the real stars of the show. The big dive looked good but I really don’t need to see these two doing stuff like that anymore. It was entertaining fifteen years ago but now it feels like they’re stretching instead of entertaining.

Overall Rating: C-. This show had some good stuff but it was scattered throughout a lot of weak action and far too little wrestling. You really should be able to get in more than a quick ladder match, a nothing triple threat, an Al Snow win and a main event without a finish. It really doesn’t help that the focus is on Matt vs. Jeff and Tyrus is #1 contender. Yeah there’s interesting stuff otherwise but I need WAY more than that to keep me entertained for two hours a week. It’s a watchable enough show but parts of it are going to put you to sleep.

Results

Maria Kanellis won a ladder match by pulling down the contract

Trevor Lee b. DJZ and Eddie Edwards – Jumping knee to Edwards’ chest

Al Snow b. Mahabali Shera – Foreign object to the head

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy went to a no contest

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – April 12, 2016: Hardy vs. Hardy To Set Up Hardy vs. Hardy

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 12, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Things have picked up a little bit in recent weeks around here after a strong showing last week. The big story continues to be the imminent Tyrus title shot but first we need to get through Matt vs. Jeff, which is still the biggest feud in the promotion despite Drew Galloway being World Champion. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Matt Hardy losing to Drew Galloway last week.

Here’s the Matt Hardy Brand to open things up. Matt insults the fans that paid to see him (even though they don’t charge for tickets) and says every dollar in his bank accounts was built on the Hardy name. However, there’s a ball and chain around his ankle and it’s named Jeff Hardy. Jeff comes out and says the title is bigger than any one of them because it means who is the best in this business.

Matt claims that he’s carried Jeff over the years and has he’s tired of seeing Jeff ruin their name. Therefore, Matt wants Jeff to go off and do his paintings or music or whatever and leave the Hardy name behind forever. Jeff says no to a match over the name (seriously) but the only thing that really scares him is Reby’s crazy genes infecting the family tree. Apparently the fight is on.

Tag Team Titles: Beer Money vs. BroMans vs. Decay vs. Eric Young/Bram

Beer Money is defending and this is one fall to a finish. It’s a huge brawl to start with Storm heading outside to ride around on the Boozer Cruiser and hit Bram low. Back in and Bram takes the double suplex which means it’s time for the opening bell. It gets annoying to have all that brawling before the match actually starts with none of it really counting.

Anyway Young works on Roode to start before Abyss tags himself in, only to chokeslam his partner onto Bobby for two. Young comes in again and decks Storm but walks into a backdrop for two. Robbie gets the tag instead and it’s a BroDown to set up the Adonis Lock on Eric with Abyss making the save. Everything breaks down and Robbie dives onto Bram and Steve. Young hits Bram by mistake and it’s the Last Call on Eric to retain the titles at 4:54.

Rating: D+. The match was watchable enough but it was a lot of chaos for the sake of Bram and Young screwing up again. I could go for them just splitting the team and giving Bram the title already as it’s not like there’s much left for the title anyway. Maybe Bram can get a small rub off of it but this isn’t doing him anything. Decay and the BroMans were just window dressing here.

Matt comes up to Jeff and says the match is on for next week but he wants it to be an I Quit match. Jeff has no problem with this but wants a tag match tonight with the stipulations on the line. If Matt and Tyrus win then it’s I Quit. If Jeff and his mystery partner win, it’s Full Metal Mayhem. So now the main event is a Hardy vs. Hardy match to determine the stipulations of the next Hardy vs. Hardy match.

Eddie Edwards has been attacked in the back.

Here’s Maria to say it’s time for the genesis of the new Knockouts division. Maria asks Jade to come out here and hand over the title to its rightful owner. That’s not cool with Jade because the champ calls the shot in the division, but here’s Gail Kim to interrupt. We get the traditional “you have to work for this” thing before Maria laughs at the Knockouts and how they’re all barking at her.

This brings out Rebel and Marti Belle to say they run this place, followed by the Beautiful People with Velvet saying they’re the OG Knockouts. Madison says she knows how to lead, which Velvet doesn’t quite get. Maria thinks the division needs a leader so here’s Billy Corrgan to again explain that he has authority around here. He’s been talking to Dixie and in a week there’s going to be one big match over leadership of the division. For tonight though, Madison gets a title shot. Everyone brawls and Maria leaves.

EC3 doesn’t think Mike Bennett is a miracle but he’s certainly talented. Tonight though, Bennett takes a beating.

Here are Shane Helms and Trevor Lee with something to say. Apparently Lee was going to fight Eddie Edwards but that surprise attack has changed plans. There’s a replacement though.

Trevor Lee vs. DJZ

Non-title for whatever reason. DJZ starts fast and snaps off a headscissors before hitting a big flip dive over the top to take Trevor out. A tornado DDT looks to put Lee away but Shane offers a distraction, allowing Trevor to load up his fisherman’s DDT. DJZ is ready though and grabs a small package for the pin at 2:59.

Post match Edwards runs out to save DJZ from a post match beatdown.

Bennett promises to beat Carter tonight.

Drew Galloway will be Jeff’s partner tonight.

Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter takes him down and hammers away to start before cranking on the arm for some chops. They head outside with Bennett not being able to suplex him onto the ramp, only to have Carter give him one instead. Back in and Maria rakes the eyes while Bennett chokes on the ropes to give Mike his first real advantage.

Carter fights back but Bennett grabs the ropes to block an Irish whip. A jumping Downward Spiral gets two for Ethan and the TK3 gets the same with Maria having to put Mike’s foot on the rope. Ethan gives chase but walks into a cutter for no cover. Instead Bennett brings in a chair, which Carter takes away and uses on Bennett for the DQ at 7:28.

Rating: C+. This was all about setting up a rematch and there’s nothing wrong with that. Carter and Bennett have some chemistry together and Bennett is going to be a good choice for a main event player, assuming he gets past the whole Miracle thing, which really isn’t working for me. At least the match was good and the rematch should be even better.

We look back at Al Snow beating down Mahabali Shera and Grado two weeks back.

Snow is willing to apologize tonight.

Al Snow is in the ring to talk about what he did two weeks ago and apologize. All he wanted to do was make sure that some young talent paid some dues. Cue Shera to get in Snow’s face and yell about how his friend is in the hospital. Snow says he’s been doing this a long time and it’s all he knows. Back in his day, you had to earn your way in here and that’s what he wanted to happen again.

When he was 19, he was beaten in the back of the head so many times that he went blind in one eye for over an hour. Snow was trying to relive those old days and maybe it was out of jealousy but he’s going to pay for all of Grado’s medical bills. Al agrees to try and do better and offers to mentor Grado and Shera. That’s fine with Shera and they go to leave, only to have Snow send him into the steps over and over. The segment worked well enough but was there NO ONE besides Al Snow that could play this role? No one at all?

Drew is getting ready when Tyrus comes in and suggests that Drew get a bodyguard. Bad things happen to good people and he can have his title shot anytime he wants, which makes him very dangerous.

Knockouts Title: Jade vs. Madison Rayne

Madison is defending and gets an early two count off a rollup. Jade comes back with a hard shot to the face and something like a reverse DDT for two. A release northern lights suplex gets the same on Madison but she comes back with a kick to the head for a breather. Some hard chops have Jade in trouble and a discus forearm sets up a loud screech. Jade shrugs them off though and avoids a high cross body, followed by an STO to retain at 5:15.

Rating: C. This was fine and that’s all it needed to be. Rayne is a good choice for a first challenge and gets to put Jade over as the new champion. The division and the title both needed a breath of fresh air after Gail’s latest title reign and Jade is different enough to make it work. It wasn’t a great match or anything close to it but it did everything it was supposed to do.

Matt Hardy/Tyrus vs. Jeff Hardy/Drew Galloway

If Matt’s team wins, next week is an I Quit match but if Jeff’s team wins, next week is Full Metal Mayhem. Tyrus and Jeff get things going but things quickly break down with Drew and Jeff cleaning house. Drew isn’t quite Jeff as he tries some Poetry in Motion but it’s enough to have them in control as we take a break. Back with Matt pounding Drew down in the corner, followed by Tyrus stomping on Drew’s hand.

We hit the camel clutch for a bit, followed by a belly to belly for two on the champ. Drew avoids a charge in the corner and it’s a double tag to the brothers Hardy. Jeff beats Matt down with ease and gets two off a backslide. Matt rolls away before the Swanton is launched though so Jeff dives onto Tyrus instead. A quick Claymore drops Tyrus but Reby slips Matt a hammer, which goes upside Jeff’s chin. Somehow this doesn’t kill him so Matt hits a quick Twist of Fate for the pin at 11:54.

Rating: C-. They really need to cut out these screwy endings, even though they had to do something nefarious here to give us the I Quit match. You don’t want the champion losing so Jeff taking the fall is the only option. I get the idea of not wanting it to be clean, but you can’t hold his foot or use the ropes or something? The only option is HIT HIM WITH A HAMMER? There’s no in between?

Post match the losers are in the ring when Lashley comes in for some spears to Galloway.

Overall Rating: C. This was watchable enough but they need to find some more fresh blood in the main event. Matt vs. Jeff over the Hardy name really isn’t enough to make me care about whatever they’re doing. Lashley vs. Galloway for the title is interesting and Bennett vs. Carter should be good. In other words, this would be setting up a good pay per view card but that’s not what they have around here so we’re likely getting a big TV taping instead. Lucky us.

Results

Beer Money b. Decay, BroMans and Eric Young/Bram – Last Call to Young

DJZ b. Trevor Lee – Small package

Mike Bennett b. Ethan Carter III via DQ when Carter used a chair

Jade b. Madison Rayne – STO

Matt Hardy/Tyrus b. Jeff Hardy/Drew Galloway – Twist of Fate to Jeff

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – April 5, 2016: Nope, Not Buying It

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 5, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s a night of revenge tonight in what might be (and hopefully is) the last match in the Jeff Hardy vs. Eric Young feud. In this case they’re inside a cage in a match that doesn’t mean much, especially since the King of the Mountain Title isn’t on the line. To be fair the thing is hardly ever defended so this isn’t a big surprise. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with Drew Galloway successfully defending the title against Jeff, setting up Matt Hardy challenging for the title tonight, along with Jeff vs. Eric.

Jeff Hardy vs. Eric Young

Non-title and inside six sides of steel. Before the match, Young gets his standard promo time and promises to piledrive Hardy to death. Young has Bram with him so Hardy brings out a table. They start brawling on the floor without a bell and Bram helps Eric send him into the cage wall. A piledriver on the exposed concrete doesn’t work as TNA’s insurance policy doesn’t cover death.

Young tells Bram to get a table as the handicap beating continues. They FINALLY get inside for the opening bell with a table and a bunch of chairs thrown inside for fun. A jawbreaker staggers Young and the whole double beatdown is forgotten. We take a break less than a minute after the bell and come back with Young sending Hardy head first into the cage. Eric wedges a chair into the corner but of course Hardy reverses him into it instead.

They tease putting each other through the table until Jeff gets kicked to the mat. The legdrop between the legs has Young down for two but Jeff takes too much time loading up some chairs in the middle of the ring, allowing Eric to piledrive him through them for two. You know, because of course a piledriver onto open chairs only gets two. Young sets up a table instead, only to have Jeff hit a quick Twist of Fate. That’s not enough either of course as he puts Eric on the table for a heavily edited Swanton off the top of the cage for the pin at 13:19.

Rating: C+. The match was fun but nothing we haven’t seen before. On top of that it’s also a waste of the King of the Mountain Title, which Hardy never mentioned or showed any suggestion of wanting whatsoever. I know the belt already means nothing but it’s not like Jeff has to pretty much acknowledge it throughout the feud. Good match though.

Dixie Carter talks to Maria and Gail over how they can’t just make a #1 contender. The result is a three way for the title tonight because what else were they going to do. Dixie doesn’t want to hear Maria’s ideas either.

Jeff is icing his head and wants the Creatures to stay with him.

Here are Matt Hardy (with the Brand) and Drew Galloway for their final speeches before the title match. Granted they’re also the first speeches but you have to stretch sometimes in TNA. Drew says Matt is going to talk all night long so it’s time for him to shut up. Matt thinks that Drew has his property because he has an entourage like a champion and is the epitome of success in this business.

Tonight he’s going to take the title that belongs to him. Drew talks about how Matt has lost his passion and is now only in it for the money. Matt doesn’t like Drew bringing up his win over Jeff but promises to get the title back. That’s it but Tyrus says he’s coming for the winner. Are we really waiting for Tyrus vs. Galloway or Hardy now? Apparently it’s set up like a Money in the Bank as he implies he might cash it in tonight.

Pope talks about being ready for a fight tonight because it might be the last thing he knows how to do. It’s a lot easier to jump on than it is to jump off daddy.

Post break Ethan Carter III comes up to laugh at Tyrus’ threat. Tyrus: “I hate you.” Ethan: “I hate you more.”

Lashley vs. D’Angelo Dinero

This is a street fight after Pope saved Josh Matthews from a beatdown a few weeks ago. Pope has been active at least down in OVW so he’s certainly not coming out of mothballs. Lashley jumps him from behind to start and the beating is quickly on with Pope in early trouble. The opening bell is late again and it’s all Lashley early.

As you might expect, the announcers ignore the match to talk about Tyrus cashing in, which apparently has to be announced in advance. That’s a bit better at least. Lashley gets in a delayed vertical suplex and loads up a stomp onto the steps, only to get blasted with a trashcan. Some kendo stick shots to the back have Lashley down with Josh being far too happy over the beatdown. Not that it matters as Lashley comes right back with a spear for the pin at 6:48.

Rating: C-. This had a lot of potential on paper but the match really wasn’t much to see. I get the idea of having it be a street fight for the sake of giving Pope a fighting chance but this was just a step above a squash. Pope would be a good addition to the roster as he’s not that old and can cut an energetic promo. I mean, it’s not like they have anyone else to put out there.

Lashley spears him down two more times before Ethan Carter III comes out for a slow save. As Lashley leaves, Mike Bennett sneaks in and jumps Carter from behind.

Post break, Carter offers to fight Bennett right now. Instead he gets Maria who talks about the people. Carter: “OH PUT A SOCK IN IT TOOTS!” Bennett comes out and accuses EC3 as someone who is looking for an excuse, just like everyone else around here. Carter is willing to get rid of Bennett at any time but Mike yells at him for losing the title. It means Carter has nothing left but he’s still making excuse after excuse. Bennett goes on a great rant about how he’s going to be World Champion after beating Carter, leaving everyone to say YES WE DO.

Carter is ready right now but Mike says we’ll do it next week. That’s not enough for Ethan as he goes after Mike and runs Maria over in the process. They go into the parking lot with Bennett getting hit in the back with a chair until he steals a tire iron from a car to knock Carter away, allowing him to steal the car and escape. This was REALLY good stuff and one of the best buildups to a match that I’ve seen TNA do in a long time.

Rockstar Spud has a plan for Tyrus but he crumples it up. Man that’s just rude. Imagine the time and effort he put into that.

Knockouts Title: Jade vs. Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim

Gail is defending. Jade gets beaten back and forth to start but Gail is sent to the floor, leaving Rayne to get a rollup for two. The champ gets suplexed and it’s the challengers slugging it out until Gail pops back up for a neckbreaker to Madison and a DDT to Jade at the same time. Jade dives through the ropes to take Madison down as the announcers talk about Gail potentially injuring her leg. Well that and the Schitt’s Creek show with a horrible transition. As the challengers fight on the floor, Maria sneaks in with a belt shot to Gail, setting up an STO from Jade for the pin and the title at 3:41.

Rating: D-. The ending is the right choice (though you know Gail is going to get the title back in a few months at most because we must praise Gail Kim at every given chance) but the match was a mess with almost no time and all three looking in different libraries instead of on the same page. Nothing to see here but at least we have a fresh champion.

Galloway is ready to defend his title.

Shane Helms wants to hear Eddie Edwards’ answer but it should be obvious from here.

We look back at Al Snow beating up Grado last week.

Snow says Billy Corgan should understand his actions. Apparently Snow is upset that they’re letting anyone in, including people like Grado. Snow is suspended for a week without pay and is expected to publicly apologize.

Here are Helms and Trevor Lee for Edwards’ answer about joining up for a tag team. Eddie comes out and says everything takes time but Helms doesn’t like that word. He’s teamed with people a lot less talented than Eddie and found success so imagine what they could do together. Eddie doesn’t buy it though and thinks Shane just wants the automatic title shot he has coming. That belongs to Davey Richards though, meaning he wants no part of the Helms Dynasty when he’s already part of the Wolves Nation.

Violence is about to erupt when Beer Money comes out for the save. Insults are issued and Beer Money confirms that they are in fact, Beer Money. Storm says line up the teams because they’ll knock them down. Cue Decay with Rosemary saying when you wish on a dying star, you will decay, decay, decay. Abyss wants the titles so Storm says they’re ready to fight right now. The brawl is quickly on but security breaks it up even faster.

Matt talks about being ready to take his title back tonight. As he talks about how it’s time for him to take, Tyrus is slowly seen walking up the hallway behind him for a really cool visual.

Beer Money wants Decay next week.

TNA World Title: Drew Galloway vs. Matt Hardy

Drew is defending. Tyrus stands in the ring for the intros before taking off his gear and….going to the floor. Matt is smart enough to use the distraction to jump Drew from behind for an early advantage. A bulldog and legdrop have Drew in trouble and we take a break. Back with Matt hitting a Side Effect on the apron and going back inside, allowing Spud (called a ring rat by Josh) to get in a few cheap shots. A pair of neckbreakers gets two for Matt but Drew comes back with a good looking belly to belly.

Matt takes him up top for a quick gutwrench superplex but has to stop and take off his boot due to an ankle injury. Apparently it’s just a ruse though (how villainous) as Spud tries to come in for a cheap shot, only to get suplexed as well. Futureshock connects but Tyrus pulls the referee out at two. Cue Jeff to beat up Tyrus as Matt Twists Drew for another near fall. Drew is done with this though and grabs the Iron Maiden for the tap out at 12:10.

Rating: C-. Too many Hardys around of course but it’s good to have Matt and Jeff out of the way so we can get on to some more interesting challengers. You know, like Tyrus apparently. They really need to give him his title shot already so we don’t have to sit around waiting on him to cash in like he’s someone interesting.

Overall Rating: C+. I had a good time with this show as they seem to actually be setting up some stuff for the future. Unfortunately I don’t have much hope for this company to pull stuff off but at least they’re showing some potential here. At long as they stop focusing on the Hardys as the stars of the promotion, things could get better over the next few weeks.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Eric Young – Swanton Bomb through a table

Lashley b. D’Angelo Dinero – Spear

Jade b. Madison Rayne and Gail Kim – STO to Kim

Drew Galloway b. Matt Hardy – Iron Maiden

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6