Impact Wrestling – November 18, 2021: We’ll Do It Again
Impact Wrestling
Date: November 18, 2021
Location: Sam’s Town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: D’Lo Brown, Matt Striker
It’s the go home show for Turning Point and that means we are likely getting the final push towards the show. There are a lot of things that still need to be fixed up but what matters now is making me want to watch. Impact has gotten a lot better at this sort of thing as of late and one last push could help a lot. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap looks at Eddie Edwards becoming #1 contender to Moose’s World Title.
Opening sequence.
Steve Maclin vs. Laredo Kid
If Maclin wins, he’s added to the X-Division Title match at Turning Point. Kid starts fast but gets rolled up for an early two. That means a standoff and the fans are rather pleased with what they are seeing. Maclin is sent outside but switches places in a hurry, meaning Kid is crushed by a big suicide dive. Back in and Kid flips out of a release German suplex but gets tied in the Tree of Woe.
A missed charge sends Maclin outside and that means a BIG dive from Kid for the knockdown. Back in and Kid hits a Michinoku Driver, setting up the multiple moonsaults for two. The top rope moonsault misses though and a running knee gives Maclin two. Kid’s cartwheel DDT doesn’t do much good as Maclin is right back with a running clothesline to put both of them down. Back up and Kid gets caught on top, setting up the spear in the Tree of Woe. Mayhem For All finishes Kid at 6:14.
Rating: C. This was the only way to go with the match as Maclin isn’t going to say that he wants into the title match, get a chance to get into the title match, and then lose. I’m not sure if Maclin is going to win the title, but it would certainly be a career making moment. That being said, Trey Miguel losing so soon after becoming champion isn’t a great idea so I’m not sure where to go. That’s a nice feeling to have so well done on putting something together.
Here’s what’s coming at Turning Point and tonight.
Brian Myers injured Sam Beale’s throat earlier tonight on BTI. Then a Conchairto made it worse.
Rich Swann isn’t happy with what Myers did and swears revenge at Turning Point.
Trey Miguel isn’t happy with the X-Division Title match being a triple threat but he’s ready for anything. He’s going to go out of his way to beat Maclin to retain the title.
Ace Austin isn’t interested in beating Chris Sabin again at Turning Point because, as the shirt says, he already beat Chris Sabin. Cue Chris Sabin to talk him into taking the challenge, but the brawl is on right now. Sabin manages to lock Austin and Madman Fulton in what looks to be a closet.
IInspiration vs. Undead Bridesmaids
Non-title. McKay can’t get very far with Lauren so it’s off to Kimber to take Cassie down by the leg. Back up and Cassie scores with a spinning kick to the head as we take a break. We come back with Kimber jawbreaking her way to freedom and handing it back to Lauren to clean house. A basement dropkick knocks Cassie out to the floor but she faceplants Lauren down. Kimber is knocked to the floor and it’s a belly to back suplex/powerbomb combination to finish Lauren at 9:11.
Rating: C-. Just a match here to give the IInspiration a TV win, which is a good idea. The team has a reputation from WWE but that is mainly for their talking. Let them get in the ring and show what they can do there as well, as it is kind of an important bonus. Now we can get on to the real showdown with Decay, which should be another nice boost for the champs.
Post match here is Decay for the big staredown, which has the IInspiration cowering in fear. Granted Decay surrounding them and screaming doesn’t help.
Flashback Moment of the Week (They still do those?): Rhino/Heath b. Reno Scum at Victory Road 2020.
Earlier this week, Chelsea Green became #1 contender to the Digital Media Title.
Chelsea Green is ready to win the title at Countdown To Turning Point. Matt Cardona is here too and wants the winner of Moose and Eddie Edwards at Turning Point. W. Morrissey comes in to say he’s in Cardona’s way. A Turning Point match is made between the two of them.
Eddie Edwards talks about his history with Moose….who jumps him from behind. They brawl into the arena, with Moose dropping him hard onto the apron twice in a row. Moose loads up a table but takes too long, allowing Eddie to grab a chair for some shots to the back. A running knee puts Moose on the table and it’s time for a ladder. That takes too long as well and Moose bails, with Eddie looking down at him from atop the ladder.
In the back, Moose says Eddie will see what he is capable of at Turning Point. Scott D’Amore comes in to make it Full Metal Mayhem (basically TLC).
Mercedes Martinez says she’s here to dominate the division and at Turning Point, she’s taking out Mickie James to win the Knockouts Title.
Hikuleo vs. Doc Gallows
The rest of Bullet Club and Karl Anderson are here too. Gallows goes right after him at the bell and the fight heads out to the floor. Hikuleo is sent face first into the apron but kicks away as they go back inside. An exchange of clotheslines don’t go anywhere so it’s a Bullet Club distraction, which allows Hikuleo to get in a low blow. That’s good for some near falls but Gallows isn’t having this being chopped thing.
The vest comes down though and now the chops have some more effect, setting up a splash for two more. We hit the chinlock, which is switched into a neck crank in a hurry. Back up and the double clothesline gives us a double knockdown for a double breather. Gallows is up first with a flying shoulder but Hikuleo runs him over as well. Anderson pops up onto the apron for a distraction, allowing Gallows to take the eyes. The chokebomb finishes Hikuleo at 6:35.
Rating: C. Pretty standard power brawl here so they followed an easy formula. That’s all they needed to do and it keeps the champs looking strong going into the title match. Add in some cheating to keep Hikuleo strong and this was pretty by the book stuff. The titles still need to change, though I’m not completely sure that they will.
We get a sitdown interview with Deonna Purrazzo, who is in all black, including large sunglasses, and has very little to say. She is contractually obligated to be here and owes no one an explanation about where she has been. Purrazzo finally goes into a bit of a rant as she says everyone is going to have to see what her next move is.
FinJuice isn’t happy with being knocked all the way back down to the bottom of the ladder. Scott D’Amore pops up to give them a match against Decay at Turning Point.
Eric Young asks what it is like to be truly free. Rhino knew real freedom but then he made a choice. That choice brings consequences and at Turning Point, Young promises to build a monument to violence over Rhino and Heath’s bodies.
Johnny Swinger/Hernandez/Fallah Bahh vs. Decay/Demon
Swinger starts with Black Taurus and yes, he busts out a red handkerchief for the bull charge. Somehow this works twice, but the third time sees Taurus hit Swinger in the face (as bulls tend to do). Crazzy Steve comes in and gets caught in Hernandez’s rocking slam. Bahh drops a big elbow but Steve bites Swinger’s arm, allowing the tag off to the Demon. With the rest of the ring cleared out, the Demon chokes Swinger for the tap at 3:10.
Rating: D+. This was your comic relief of the week and that is exactly why Swinger is in a match. They kept it short and to the point here so it’s hard to get annoyed in any way. Nothing to the match of course and I’m still not sure why the Demon of all people is here, but Swinger is such a charming goof that it’s hard not to smile.
Post break, Swinger passes John E. Bravo in the back, saying this must be rock bottom. Swinger leaves and Havok/Rosemary pop in. They’re willing to help Bravo help Swinger…for his virgin blood.
Jordynne Grace is ready for Chelsea Green. Rachael Ellering lists off all of Grace’s accomplishments.
Mickie James respected Mercedes Martinez but apparently they aren’t friends.
Turning Point rundown.
Minoru Suzuki vs. Josh Alexander
Alexander goes for the arm to start as this is already being declared awesome. That’s switched into an ankle lock and Suzuki is out in a hurry for a standoff. Alexander takes him up against the ropes and offers a clean break, which just feels stupid against Suzuki. Thankfully it’s a kick to Alexander’s ribs but he sends Suzuki outside for a breather. Back in and Suzuki chokes him over the ropes but a security guard takes away Suzuki’s chair. That means a right hand to said guard and we take a break.
Back with Suzuki hitting a running boot on the ramp as the fans continue to be split. They get back inside with Alexander hitting a running boot to the face but Suzuki runs him over again. Some taunting kicks to the head just wake Alexander up but it’s time for Suzuki to chop him in the chest. A big one sends Alexander to his knee, where Suzuki hits him in the face.
The fired up Alexander is chopped right back down and he gets caught in the sleeper. Suzuki lets him go and tries the Gotch style piledriver, which is countered with a backdrop. Alexander hits a top rope knee to the back of the head for two, with the kickout going straight into the ankle lock. Suzuki forearms his way out before going to the sleeper. They trade some very fast counters (that was sweet) until Alexander hits him in the face. The C4 Spike gives Alexander the pin at 13:48.
Rating: B. This started off pretty slowly and then got better near the end, once Suzuki actually started working a bit harder. The first half felt like he was just there and getting by on reputation only, but after that things improved a good bit. Alexander winning a wrestle off and then winning clean makes him look strong, as he should be getting the Hard To Kill title shot in January.
Alexander gets to celebrate with his family in a nice moment.
We go to the back where Johnny Swinger and John E. Bravo run into everyone from Swinger’s Palace. They’re not sure why they’re here, but Decay pops up to say they brought everyone together. Next week, they’re coming together again….in WRESTLE HOUSE 2! Sure why not.
Overall Rating: C+. It was an up and down week, though I can go for the idea of more Wrestle House to go with a good main event. Turning Point got a lot of focus this week and the show should be a pretty eventful one. These monthly shows have done a lot of good for Impact, just for the sake of giving them something to focus on. Another solid week here, and Hard To Kill could start getting some focus next week.
Results
Steve Maclin b. Laredo Kid – Mayhem For All
IInspiration b. Undead Bridesmaids – Powerbomb/belly to back suplex combination to Lauren
Doc Gallows b. Hikuleo – Chokebomb
Decay/Demon b. Johnny Swinger/Fallah Bahh/Hernandez – Choke to Swinger
Josh Alexander b. Minoru Suzuki – C4 Spike
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Thunder – August 9, 2000: Three Times The Bad Tags
Thunder Date: August 9, 2000
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado Commentators: Mike Tenay, Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone
It’s the go home show for New Blood Rising because we’re just that lucky. The big story continues to be the potentially SHOOT triple threat because Goldberg, Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash, because when you think of Kevin Nash, you think of a shoot. Oh and the World Title is in there somewhere too. Let’s get to it.
Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire vs. Perfect Event
Right now, someone tell me who Kronik is defending against on Sunday. I’d be shocked if most of the regular fans of this show could answer that at this point. This is the result of Kronik wanting both teams to come out here for a fight which of course means let’s have the challengers lose again before their REAL title shot on Sunday.
After some stalling (of course) it’s a quadruple team on Adams early on. Stasiak gets in a jumping back elbow but Adams shrugs it off and hits a quick gutbuster, allowing the tag off to Clark. It’s off to O’Haire for two off a clothesline as this is acting more like a handicap match than a three way tag.
Clark gets in a quick DDT and brings in Adams for a full nelson slam. A piledriver gets two on Stasiak and everything breaks down. The tilt-a-whirl slam gets two on O’Haire as Jindrak gives Clark a nice hurricanrana out of the corner. Sean pops up for a Seanton bomb but Stasiak wants the pin. That earns Shawn a Meltdown and High Times with Adams running interference so Clark can get the pin.
Rating: D. I’ve watched the match and I’m still not sure whether or not this was a three way or a handicap match. It was mentioned as a title match, but there was no indication of how many opponents Kronik had here. You have a title match here but WCW really didn’t care enough to explain who was challenging. Just….dang man.
Muta and Vampiro come out for a distraction, allowing Juventud Guerrera to run in and steal the belts again.
Mike Awesome and Heidi come in to Cat’s office so Cat can put him in a flag match against Lance Storm later. The Dragons appear, have their heads rammed together, and are thrown out.
Daffney has made a Watch Crowbar Wrestling shirt to wear at ringside. Crowbar wants to tell her something but changes his mind.
Jeff Jarrett has a guitar with Booker’s name on it.
Crowbar vs. Elix Skipper
Elix, ever the rookie, accepts a handshake and gets pulled into a German suplex. Crowbar sends him to the floor for a dive, followed by the apron splash. I’ve missed Crowbar being around here as he has more energy than half the people on these shows. Cue Smooth with flowers for Daffney, who doesn’t seem to mind.
Crowbar tries a standing Lionsault but Skipper Matrixes away from it in an awesome looking counter. A Death Valley Driver puts Skipper down but Crowbar goes outside and yells at Daffney about the flowers. Skipper dives on Crowbar and destroys the flowers in a truly evil move. Back in and Crowbar can’t hit a hurricanrana, allowing the Overdrive to give Elix the pin.
Rating: C. These were two hidden gems near the end of WCW and you could see them having fun out there. Sloppy fun, but still fun. Like I said, Crowbar looked like he was actually trying every single time out there and that’s an effort you can’t ignore. Skipper on the other hand was an athletic freak who could do things most people just can’t do. That made for a fun match with an angle that actually made sense as everyone could see Crowbar loved Daffney so it was easy to exploit. In other words, my guess is Russo/Ferrara had nothing to do with this.
Jarrett asks Jimmy Hart where Booker is. The answer is not here so Hart gets a guitar. At least he could probably give us some good music with that thing.
Okerlund and Bagwell talk about Kanyon, who appropriately comes in and issues a challenge for a tag match tonight. That means it’s time for a mystery partner, which can only end badly. Like only. As in there is no other option.
Tank Abbott and 3 Count are here to perform their old song because Tank’s new single isn’t ready yet. I heartily approve of the classics.
3 Count/Tank Abbott vs. Misfits in Action
Shane gets in trouble to start with Rection doing a little dance before dropping a leg. A pop up powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana as the announcers try to explain the double ladder match on Sunday. Everything breaks down with Shane getting destroyed. Karagias gets in an argument with the fans on the floor and it’s Flair/Hancock here to go after Hancock. Tank cleans house with right hands and here’s a ladder for no logical reason. Shane and Shannon put it on the top for a top rope splash/legdrop combo for the pin on Cajun.
Rating: F. I have no idea what the point of this was, much like I have no idea if they remember that the Dragons and 3 Count are fighting on Sunday as they haven’t had any contact in at least a week. This felt more like an angle than a match and it says a lot when Hancock can’t save things.
Post break Rection yells at the Misfits and a mixed tables match is made later with Gunns/AWOL vs. Flair/Hancock.
Crowbar yells at Smooth about the flowers (how did he know Smooth gave them to her if he didn’t see the delivery?) but Smooth says he’s an operator.
The Dark Carnival attacks the Jung Dragons because they’re just jobbers for midcard acts. Cat makes the save and puts himself in a tag match against Muta/Vampiro with a mystery partner. So to recap that’s two mystery partners and one mixed tag.
Video on Sunday’s triple threat.
Okerlund hopes Pamela isn’t the mystery partner because she’s nuts about him.
Cat gets a mystery partner, even though the partner doesn’t like his fashion.
Mike Sanders vs. Norman Smiley
Sanders is now Above Average, meaning he’s on top of the B list at 49%. That’s not how above average works but whatever. Let’s make this a hardcore match just because of reasons. Smiley declines because he’s retired from hardcore wrestling (thank goodness), only to get a chair to the back. Norman whips him over the barricade so Mike hits him with a ladder.
They head backstage where Sanders puts a trashcan over Norman for a beating with a broom. There’s a stretcher here for no logical reason so Sanders throws Norman on top. Both guys being thrown through tables, only to have Jarrett pop up and nail Norman with a guitar. Apparently the pin has to take place in the ring though so here’s a wheelbarrow to bring them back to the ring. Sanders tries a chair shot from the middle rope….and knocks himself out to give Norman the easy pin.
Rating: D-. So what was the point here? Norman being dragged back into hardcore? That’s the best they’ve got for these two? Sanders can clearly talk but people aren’t going to care if you have him lose a match he challenged Norman to. At least he can talk though and that’s the best thing you can have, especially here.
The Dark Carnival broods in the back. Demon shows how much depth he has by growling.
Mike Awesome vs. Lance Storm
Non-title, which is actually the right move for a change. Storm gets in a good line by saying Mike better be a good fat chick thriller because he’s horrible as a career killer. They brawl on the floor to start with Mike getting the better of it as you might expect. Storm tries grabbing a chair and gets it punched into his face, setting up a very quick Awesome splash.
Mike goes for the flag but Heidi, the woman we’ve known for like a week, turns on him by hitting him with the American flag. She takes off her shirt and shows off a new one saying “Canadian and Proud of it!”. The Maple Leaf goes on and Heidi hands Storm the flag for the win. As usual, this is too much character development and something that could have been done at the pay per view instead of the big mess they wound up doing instead.
Kidman challenges Shane to a strap match, which Torrie can teach him a thing or two about. Pamela finds that way funnier than it should be and Kidman steps to the side to kiss Syren (Reno’s girlfriend/Nitro Girl).
Sgt. AWOL/Major Gunns vs. David Flair/Miss Hancock
Tables match to make sure this is as bad as possible, or to make sure that David Flair or Sgt. AWOL doesn’t have to job. The guys slowly brawl to start with Wall having to figure out how to make David look threatening. While this is going on, the women yell at each other a lot. Hancock takes over with choking as David sets up a table in the ring. Wall kicks him in the face but gets his eyes raked by Hancock, only to have Gunns choke her. Hancock whips her through the table for the win a few seconds later, making this one of the shortest table matches in history.
Wall chokeslams David through another table post match.
This Week in WCW Motorsports. Do we have any proof that those teams have actually been shut down? It really wouldn’t surprise me if they were still around to this day.
Kanyon is talking to his partner.
Doug Dillinger tells Cat that “he’s here”.
Kidman vs. Reno
Kidman starts fast with a headscissors to send Reno outside, setting up a nice plancha (are any of Kidman’s dives ever bad?) to drop him again. Back in and Reno gets smart by grabbing Kidman for a pair of quick suplexes. When all else fails, throw the guy around. A third suplex stops Kidman’s comeback but he grabs a quick Low Down for two. Not that it matters as Reno Rolls the Dice, only to hammer on Kidman instead of covering.
Cue Syren, allowing Reno to bring in a chair. For some reason Reno tries a powerbomb onto the chair and you know what that means. This brings out Torrie for another distraction, allowing Shane Douglas to come in with the chain to knock Kidman out. The referee actually sees it for a change though and it’s a DQ.
Rating: D+. I like both guys and you had Syren and Torrie in the same match so it’s kind of hard to get mad here. Reno is a good power guy and has a nice selection of suplexes to go with a cool look, which is why he never went anywhere in wrestling. The Kidman vs. Shane feud needs to wrap up soon but I can tolerate it as long as Torrie is around.
Vito runs out to make the save for no logical reason. Reno and Vito seem to know each other. Like, aside from working together.
The Artist, now in street clothes, finds Paisley and I believe Papaya from Nitro giving Kwee Wee a massage, leading to a brawl. I still have no reason to care about the Artist.
Jarrett comes out again and makes Penzer read a message, basically saying that it’s Booker’s fault for everyone getting hurt tonight. Jeff is going to keep screwing with stuff until the end of the show and there’s a guitar shot for Penzer. He guarantees a title win on Sunday. So Jeff is now stealing Kanyon’s schtick?
Here’s your weekly shoot style interview, this time with Booker T. Bash at the Beach was the greatest day of his life because he finally reached his top goal in wrestling. It meant a lot to him to see the company give him the shot and the fans accept him with everybody raising the roof. Booker talks about coming up through the Dallas territories and how much it means to come all the way to the top over all the years.
Tony brings up Russo talking about the old guard being shoved aside so people like Booker can rise up. Booker doesn’t feel any pressure because he’s at home in the middle of the ring. His knee is still banged up and will probably never be the same but he’s still going to be defending the title every night. The fans have paid their money and Booker is going to give them his best every single time.
This wasn’t a shoot and felt a lot more like a talk with the man outside the ring. In other words, it was far easier to sit through than the usual nonsense that didn’t tell us anything we would want to hear about. That being said, this wasn’t exactly riveting stuff but at least it didn’t make me go nuts sitting through it. As usual, Booker is the voice of reason around here.
Buff Bagwell/Gene Okerlund vs. Positively Kanyon/???
Kanyon’s partner is…..oh sweet goodness it’s Mark Madden. Let’s get this over with. Judy sits in on commentary as I’m assuming this is supposed to be funny. Madden and Gene start things off but Gene actually decks Kanyon off the apron. It’s off to the actual wrestlers with Bagwell in control until Madden knees him in the back. Buff goes after him as Judy’s voice has me begging for this to end even more.
Back in and Buff gets two off his double arm DDT but another Madden cheap shot lets Kanyon run him over. Kanyon misses a splash though and it’s hot tags Gene and Madden. Everything breaks down and Madden’s low blow has no effect (with Tony pointing out that Gene didn’t sell it). Apparently Gene is wearing a cup, which winds up on Madden’s face. Of course it does. Buff throws in a Blockbuster to give Gene the pin.
Rating: D. This could have been a lot worse as they had the wrestlers do most of the work. I get the idea here and it was cute at times but giving this five and a half minutes was just a bad idea. Hopefully this ends the story with the announcers and leaves us with serious material….like Judy Bagwell on a forklift.
Kanyon takes out Buff with the Kanyon Cutter but Stevie saves Gene, while also holding Judy back.
Sting/The Cat vs. Great Muta/Vampiro
Not a bad mystery partner if you don’t mind a lack of mystery. It’s a big brawl to start of course with Sting sending Vampiro into the announcers’ table, much to Stevie’s approval. Tenay: “Do you think Sting will ever forget being set on fire by Vampiro?” Cat gets dropped and it’s time for some double teaming inside. Muta’s power drive elbow sets up some choking as we’re a far cry from the classics these two had ten years earlier.
It’s off to a front facelock from Vampiro and the referee actually doesn’t allow a tag he didn’t see. So this is a rare match with rules. The Stinger splash hits Vampiro’s raised boot but a double clothesline puts both guys down. Cat comes in off the lukewarm tag and gives Muta a really bad looking hiptoss. Sting stands around while Cat fights both guys and here’s Demon (who Tony calls Disciple for the second time in the match). The mist takes Sting down but Cat kicks Vampiro in the head for the pin.
Rating: D-. Cat really doesn’t belong in the ring and the story isn’t working either. It’s basically Sting fighting a bunch of guys who look like evil clowns and are doing a lame Ministry impression. That’s the best you can do for one of your biggest stars of all time? Lame main event, but you kind of had to expect that given who was involved.
Muta gives Cat the red mist and Demon puts Sting in the Scorpion Deathlock to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. There were some better efforts here but just too much bad to overcome. With the same mystery partner angle running twice and a cooky mixed tag tables match thrown in, there’s only so much something like Skipper vs. Crowbar can do. That means it’s time for New Blood Rising though, meaning I’d probably want to watch this show three times over instead.
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Thunder – August 2, 2000: If I Can Have Some Serious Wrestling For A Minute
Thunder Date: August 2, 2000
Location: Hulman Center, Terre Haute, Indiana
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray, Mike Tenay
New Blood Rising is almost here and these shows just get worse and worse. Monday was another show where it felt like WCW was mad at us for watching them and were trying to get rid of as many remaining fans as they could. I don’t want to imagine how bad Thunder could get. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Lance Storm to open things up. Just like he did with the other titles, he’s renaming the Cruiserweight Title to the Canadian 100 Kilograms and Under Championship. That brings out the Cat to say that Storm is defending a title tonight. Storm: “Which one Cat? I’ve got a bunch of them.” Cat thinks the fans want to see title matches so tonight Storm is defending the Cruiserweight Title against Juventud Guerrera, the Hardcore Title against Norman Smiley and the US Title against the Cat himself. It’s time for the first title defense because why not have it now when you could build it up for later?
Cruiserweight Title: Lance Storm vs. Juventud Guerrera
Storm is defending and Cat dances to the Filthy Animals’ music before leaving. We’re still not ready to go though because Storm has a rule booklet saying that this has to be under Scientific Rules. Therefore, the rest of the Animals have to head to the back. On a side note, shouldn’t this be Chavo getting his rematch instead of Juvy? Storm jumps Juvy to start but gets caught in a bad looking hurricanrana to send him outside. A big flip dive over the top takes Storm down again but he avoids a high cross body back inside.
Not that it matters as Juvy drops him again and gets two off a falling springboard splash. He loads Storm up on top for a hurricanrana, which Stevie describes as “setting up a move here.” Storm stops a charge with a boot in the corner, only to walk into a bulldog for no cover. Instead it’s something like White Noise for two on Storm but he quickly counters a hurricanrana into the Maple Leaf to retain.
Rating: B-. Storm really can do no wrong at this point but I haven’t seen Juvy going this hard in a long time. This was a really fun fast paced match with some good looking high flying and a solid ending as Storm continues to be the best thing going in WCW at this point. How he avoided being screwed up for so long is beyond me but he pulled it off.
The announcers show us a clip from after Nitro with Kronik running in to save Booker and Sting. As in the Sting WHO WAS LIT ON FIRE and seems to be fine.
General Rection yells at MIA as he always does.
Booker arrives and Tony is shocked to see him limping.
Smooth the limo decides Skip Over needs a better name.
Here are Miss Hancock and David Flair with something to say. Hancock asks if she’s the kind of woman who would roll around in mud for a dollar. She thinks the mud might make Major Gunns look better, so here are the Misfits to interrupt.
David Flair vs. Sgt. A-Wall
Wall starts fast with a powerslam and some stomps. David tries chops and stops to strut with the expected result of being launched out to the floor. A chair doesn’t make things any better as Wall punches it into David’s face. Back in and a chokeslam through the table ends David quick.
The Nitro Girls are here (because of course they are) when an unnamed man (soon to be named Reno) comes in to yell at Siren. She says she was with the girls on Monday but here’s Shane Douglas to tell him where she really was. We can’t hear what he says but Reno isn’t happy. See, if you insist on using the Nitro Girls in stories, this is the better way: have them as plot devices to advance stories instead of having them be the story.
Skip Over gives Terry Taylor a piece of paper and Terry says he’ll make it happen.
Jeff Jarrett wants to talk to Vampiro about their elimination tag tonight but Vampiro isn’t all that interested.
Tank Abbott has written a new song for 3 Count. Freaking sweat!
Kidman vs. Elix Skipper
Apparently the paper was the new name, which also includes the moniker “Prime Time Player.” Kidman isn’t a fan and baseball slides him out to the floor. Back in and Kidman sends him into the turnbuckle but Skipper debuts the Matrix move to avoid a cross body. A headscissors puts Kidman down, only to have him come back with a dropkick to the face. Cue Shane and Torrie as Kidman grabs the BK Bomb, only to have Reno come in and lay him out with a rolling cutter (Cross Rhodes). Skipper adds the Rocker Dropper for the academic pin.
Cat promises Mike Awesome a title shot at New Blood Rising if he wins the title tonight. Point for tying up a potential loose end at least.
Shane is in the back again and calls Judy Bagwell a redneck. Bagwell attacks and they’re pulled apart.
Sean O’Haire vs. Shawn Stasiak
Chuck Palumbo sits in on commentary and we look at him as the match starts in the ring. We finally start watching as O’Haire nails a superkick, only to miss a charge in the corner. That means it’s time for generic heel offense a go-go from Stasiak as he chokes and elbows while Stevie talks about ballet for some reason. Stasiak’s Death Valley Driver is countered into a DDT but his comeback is cut short as he’s sent out to the floor.
Palumbo loads up the exercise bar but Stevie pulls him back into his seat. Stasiak gets two off a PerfectPlex (northern lights suplex according to Tony because he’s too distracted arguing with Tenay over Stevie’s level of coolness) as Jindrak and Palumbo fight at ringside. O’Haire pops back up with a spinwheel kick and the Seanton Bomb for the pin.
Rating: D+. O’Haire has talent but he’s certainly still best as part of a team at this point. Stasiak on the other hand would be better off as a driver’s education teacher somewhere in Oklahoma. The guy simply does not have it in the ring and it’s getting more and more annoying to watch him every time he gets in the ring.
Gene Okerlund is in a neck brace while talking to the Bagwells. Buff wants Shane tonight and makes jokes about his performance issues from last week. Judy swears a lot because it’s funny.
Hardcore Title: Lance Storm vs. Norman Smiley
Storm is defending and Big Vito comes out for commentary. The Canadian flag comes down again but the music stops halfway through, allowing Norman to come out with the American flag. We’re not ready yet though as the Canadian rulebook says the title has to be defended with no weapons and the match can only end via submission. Storm isn’t pleased with his dancing challenger so they trade wristlocks instead. A pinfall reversal sequence doesn’t go anywhere so Norman elbows him in the face.
Norman stops to dance though, allowing Lance to come back with a nice dropkick. Vito sounds annoyed that Norman is wrestling in a shirt but Smiley’s splash hits knees. The swinging slam sets up the Big Wiggle but the referee gets bumped, allowing Storm to hit Smiley with the American flag. The Maple Leaf retains Storm’s title.
Rating: C-. See, this is a story that makes sense and is being played out logically. Storm is a guy capable of winning any single match on his own but he needs to cheat when he has so much to do. That’s a logical, well written character and it makes for a good story. As I said before, Storm is one of the best things going today and the simple storytelling is a big reason why.
Vito comes in to break up the hold.
Torrie threatens to sue Judy if she gets in her face tonight.
Shane Douglas vs. Buff Bagwell
Bagwell starts fast by hammering away in the corner and grabbing a swinging neckbreaker. A Vader bomb gets two on Shane so Torrie trips Buff, allowing Shane to get in an atomic drop. Shane snaps (work with me here) off Three Amigos and a powerslam, followed by the Pittsburgh Plunge for two. Torrie throws in a chair so here’s Judy to start a catfight. Kidman runs in and dropkicks the chair into Shane’s face, setting up the Blockbuster to give Buff the pin.
Rating: D. These two just do not have very good chemistry together, though there’s far worse out there. The Kidman and Torrie stuff helps but Shane really isn’t the most interesting guy in the world. It doesn’t help that Buff is almost even less interesting and it’s probably about time to turn him heel again because he’s been a face long enough now.
Post match Torrie goes after Judy again but here’s Kanyon to help beat down Mama Bagwell. Buff makes the save but walks into a Kanyon Cutter onto the chair. Mike Awesome makes the real save.
After a break, Buff gets off the stretcher and says he wants to fight Kanyon tonight. Awesome says he’ll do it himself. Apparently Mike thinks Judy is good looking.
Sting tells Booker that he doesn’t have to fight on that bad leg but Booker wants to take out that sucka.
The Vince Russo interview will not air tonight because “WCW management” won’t allow it. One of the few things they actually build up and then oh forget about it because we’ve changed our mind.
Mike Awesome vs. Positively Kanyon
Awesome has one of his women with him. More interestingly though, Tony says that tickets are going on sale for Nitro on August 28 two days from now. They’re only starting to sell tickets 24 days in advance? Tickets sold for that event: about 4,600 out of about 13,000 seats. I’m sure there’s no connection there. Before the match, Mike reiterates that Judy is good looking.
Kanyon actually charges in so Awesome runs him over with a clothesline. Commentary goes silent for a bit and comes back talking about the three way at New Blood Rising. Stevie actually brings it back to focus as Kanyon hits Awesome low to slam him out of the corner. A sitout spinebuster gets two for Kanyon and a neckbreaker out of the Tree of Woe (not a Kanyon Cutter Tony) gets two more.
Kanyon lays out the referee for no apparent reason and gives a photographer (As in a guy holding a camera and taking pictures. Stevie: “Is that a photographer?”) a Kanyon Cutter. Some more production guys get the same but here’s Judy with a loaded purse to knock Kanyon silly, setting up the Awesome Bomb to give Mike the pin.
Rating: D+. Not the worst match here but Awesome’s gimmick is killing him. Kanyon’s cutters all over the place continue to be entertaining but they need to have Page come back and Diamond Cut him in half at some point. Given that this is WCW, I’d bet on them joining forces because Page respects him now or something.
US Title: Lance Storm vs. The Cat
Storm is defending one more time. Cat interrupts the national anthem one more time and kicks Storm in the face. Back in and they slug it out with Cat taking over before taking Storm down with a low blow. That’s rather lame of him. Storm’s sunset flip is broken up by dancing, a crotch chop, and a shot to the face. You can’t say Cat is just going through the motions out there.
They head outside with Storm superkicking him to take over, followed by the springboard missile dropkick (looks great as always) back inside. Cat comes back with a Feliner to knock Storm into the referee, allowing Great Muta to run in and give Cat one of the best looking dragon screw legwhips I’ve ever seen. The Maple Leaf gives Storm the easy submission.
Rating: C-. It was clear that Cat hadn’t wrestled that often and that he really shouldn’t be very often these days. He wasn’t going to be able to last much longer and that really shouldn’t be the case just four minutes into a match. Storm wrestled three matches tonight and was in better condition than Cat who wrestled once. That really shouldn’t happen but Cat didn’t wrestle much at this point so it’s a bit more understandable.
The good guys in the main event promise to win because the other four guys are player haters.
WAY too long video on Gunns vs. Hancock.
Vampiro tells Demon he’s on his own at New Blood Rising and that he wants nothing to do with Jarrett after tonight.
Jarrett calls Gene a broke neck slapnut.
Booker T./Sting/Kronik vs. Great Muta/Vampiro/Demon/Jeff Jarrett
Elimination tag. Booker is limping badly on the way to the ring. It’s a brawl to start with the good guys cleaning house and Booker’s knee being strong enough for a side kick to the face. Muta sneaks in and goes after Booker as we hear about Sting being on Vampiro with a chair. Of course we can’t see that but we do get to see Adams cleaning house inside.
High Times eliminates Muta in just over a minute. Again: why did he bother to come back? Cue Cat to go after Muta as the referee breaks up High Times to Jarrett through the table. That’s fine with Kronik as they chokeslam the referee instead, earning themselves a double elimination. Sting gets triple teamed by Jarrett, Demon and Vampiro as the match actually settles down.
Jarrett lures Booker in so they can…..not cheat in the slightest. It’s off to Vampiro to stay on Sting until a double clothesline puts both of them down. Booker comes in to pound on everyone, including an ax kick to Demon. Jarrett bails and gets counted out, followed by double finishers to give Sting and Booker the double pin to wrap it up.
Rating: D-. Leave it to WCW to give us a six minute Survivor Series match with one person walking out, two people getting disqualified and three pins. As usual, the match went by so fast that it didn’t have time to mean anything and the action that we got was mainly chaos with a quick wrestling portion at the end. Of course they couldn’t cut ANYTHING else out to give this more time either.
Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t their worst show ever and amazingly enough it was a show centered around a wrestler wrestling. It also helps that the Russo interview didn’t air, which was false advertising but probably a lot better than whatever nonsense Russo would have gone on about in his talk. The less said about the upcoming triple threat the better and it made for a much easier show this week. Not good mind you, but easier.
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Bash at the Beach 2000
Date: July 9, 2000
Location: Ocean Center, Daytona Beach, Florida
Attendance: 6,572
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden
Oh boy. After all those nice weeks of no Russo and/or Bischoff to screw things up, tonight we’re back to the old ways because this wrestling and storytelling stuff must be stopped at all costs. It’s a double main event of Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash for Scott Hall’s contract and Hulk Hogan challenging Jeff Jarrett for the World Title. Let’s get to it.
Cat sends Smooth the Limo Driver to tell the Filthy Animals and the Misfits in Action that they’re banned from ringside during the Cruiserweight Title match. The Jung Dragons show up and attack Cat, likely trying to get more money. See, now this is the kind of idea that doesn’t need to be here but makes SO much more sense with the context of watching Thunder. Unfortunately WCW doesn’t explain anything of it, thinking that everyone saw the one off segment that set it up.
The opening video is just stills of the four men in the two main events. No narration or anything, but it does have shots of Jarrett’s fat women.
We get some very lame pyro as Penzer is in a beach shirt.
Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Lieutenant Loco
Loco is defending but Juvy stole the belt on Thunder. Konnan tells Juvy to keep the title and wants Disco/Rey to go after the Tag Team Titles. The seconds are all sent out but the Animals stick around for a bit instead. Tony: “The bell has sounded in this sports entertainment opening bout.” Loco clotheslines him to the floor to start and it’s already time to stall.
Madden tries to figure out what was up with the Dragons so Scott, who seems to actually watch Thunder, explains the story. Mark has nothing in response, basically making this a quick production meeting for him. Back in and Juvy fires off some right hands but gets taken down into an armbar. Loco is wrestling a much slower paced style here which is normally the heel Cruiserweight Champion style.
Juvy blocks a charge with an elbow but a double cross body puts both of them down. Back up again and Chavo sends him to the floor for a big plancha as we’ve got the Filthy Animals in masks because we’re on a Russo show and two talented guys wrestling are going is going to bore the fans and make them change the channel FROM A PAY PER VIEW THEY ALREADY BOUGHT.
The Animals are taken to the back as Juvy drops a slingshot legdrop to the floor (thankfully not breaking his tailbone like Johnny the Bull). Back in and a springboard splash gets two for Juvy and a sunset Liger Bomb gets the same. Cue General Rection as Bill Clinton (just go with it) as a distraction for Major Gunns to come down (now with thong sticking out because Lita was doing it at the time) and get Juvy’s attention. The plan mostly works as Loco grabs a sitout reverse gordbuster (called a reverse powerslam by Hudson) for two. Loco’s tornado DDT retains the title a few seconds later.
Rating: C. This is one of Russo’s big problems summed up in one match. You had two talented guys who could put on a match that people wanted to see but instead here’s a WACKY idea of the two teams interfering with masks on in a story development that doesn’t mean a thing. Yeah Rection was dressed like Bill Clinton. How is that funny, interesting, noteworthy or ANYTHING besides something else to take the focus off the match? It’s a simple case of “Russo doesn’t get it”.
The Cat imitates Chris Tucker from Rush Hour as he tries to tell the Jung Dragons that it’s over. Jarrett comes in to ask where Hogan is because his fat viking woman is ready to sing. Total TV scene. Hogan isn’t here yet either and Jarrett is clearly wearing the replica title (notice the big black outline).
Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. Norman Smiley/Ralphus
Vito is defending in this unannounced match with mystery challengers. Tony explains that the match is supposed to start in the back and then come to the ring. Those sound a lot like rules. Vito hammers away with the stick on Ralphus and then sends Norman into the barricade. They go backstage so now I guess they can fight back into the arena so the match can end in the ring. Ralphus gets in some trashcan shots to the head for what might have been his first offense in history.
Some trashcan lid shots (you have to mix it up) have no effect on Vito so it’s time for the plastic dinnerware to come into play. Norman is thrown into a service elevator, leaving Vito to beat Ralphus back to the ring. That means it’s table time but it’s broken before it’s even thrown in. Vito splashes him through it anyway and retains the title as Norman comes back, only to be a hardcore loser all over again.
Rating: D-. Well thank goodness this got pay per view time. Norman, one of the most popular acts in the company for a few months, is still right where he was before and the heatless Vito keeps the title even longer with no one to challenge him. Bad match here as you would expect, but keep this stuff on Thunder where it belongs if you just have to do it.
Goldberg arrives with Hall’s contract in his pocket.
Nash says he hasn’t been nice lately and tonight he’s getting his friend back.
We recap Daffney vs. Miss Hancock, which is actually one of the better stories they’re running at the moment. David Flair and Daffney were engaged but he cheated on her with Miss Hancock (who was his real life girlfriend at the time). Daffney had her head shaved earlier this week so tonight it’s a wedding gown match for no apparent reason other than to have Hancock in limited clothing.
Miss Hancock vs. Daffney
There’s a wedding cake at ringside and the announcers acknowledge that it’s going to be destroyed. David is here with Hancock and they kiss before the match to drive Daffney crazier. That earns Flair a low blow and we start fast. Hopefully it ends fast as well. Hancock does a handspring elbow as they’re fighting in slow motion. Daffney keeps flipping her for the upskirt shots but David prevents Hancock from going into the cake.
The referee gets hit low and pantsed (with Tony pointing out how fast Hancock can get a man’s pants off). David gets the same treatment and we get the face first fall onto the crotch. They go after Daffney’s hair but Crowbar makes the save. Crowbar takes his own pants off and gives David the Mind Bender (Tony has forgotten the name from four days ago) as the women have disappeared. David is about to get shaved so Hancock strips to save him and end the match. I’m sure this was in no way, shape or form inspired by Patterson and Brisco having an evening gown match last month.
Rating: F. I get the idea here and I’m not going to complain about Hancock in limited clothing, but this gets old in about ten seconds. After that it stops being fun and entertaining and you’re asking yourself what the heck am I watching. That happened WAY too often in WCW around this time and it becomes much more embarrassing than entertaining. This is the lowest common denominator and that’s rarely quality television.
Crowbar and the referee sit down to watch but it’s cake time instead.
The Dragons sneak up on Cat, though he’s tipped off by the Japanese music playing. Cat is worried that Hogan hasn’t arrived yet and thinks Ox Baker might be available.
The announcers talk about Hogan not being here as we clean up the ring from Russo’s latest fantasy fulfillment. The ring must be very dirty as they go over Hogan bring in Shaquille O’Neal back in 1994 and then the formation of the NWO. We see the mats being picked up as the crew pours bottles of water onto the ground and wipe it up. THEY CAN’T AFFORD A MOP???
Tag Team Titles: Perfect Event vs. Kronik
Perfect Event is defending, even though Brian Adams and a production guy pinned them on Thunder but now Adams has Clark back. Adams and Palumbo (Palumbi according to Tony) get things going and it’s Chuck quickly being sent to the floor. Stasiak is thrown on top of him as well, which Madden says is like throwing a Frisbee. Mark Madden has never thrown a Frisbee has he?
Now the champs have cake on their trunks because WCW can’t even destroy a cake properly. Clark beats Stasiak up and gives him a release Rock Bottom before bringing Adams back in. Tony wants to know if Kronik will be happy with a simple win. Does anyone even remember what their issue is at this point or how the champs got the titles in the first place? Better yet, does it matter? Palumbo low bridges Adams to the floor and gets in a chair shot to take over.
We hit a sleeper as the fans are behind Kronik. That’s not boring enough so it’s off to Stasiak for a sleeper of his own. Back up and they hit heads (allegedly), setting up the tag to Clark as everything breaks down. Palumbo DDTs his way out of the Meltdown and Stasiak clotheslines Clark off the apron. Clark gets double teamed back inside and we get a really awkward exchange where he looks at the champs as if to say “ok, it’s your spot now.”
Adams breaks up a cover off a double flapjack and F5’s Shawn, setting up High Times. There’s a rumble that sounds like a motorcycle but doesn’t lead anywhere. Probably fans leaving this boring show. Palumbo takes High Times as well and a powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination (better move than the double chokeslam) gives Kronik the belts back. There’s smoke around the ring for no apparent reason.
Rating: D. Not the worst match in the world here but still the same boring match the Perfect Event has been having for weeks now. At least Kronik is a more interesting team who can have a watchable power match. Perfect Event is just flat out boring and I’m glad they’ve dropped the belts, even though they only held them for a few weeks.
The Cat hears the Dragons’ music AGAIN when Jarrett comes in AGAIN, claiming that he’s bored. Jarrett promises to screw with the show and leaves, allowing the Dragons to appear and attack Cat. Scott has to explain the story to Madden AGAIN.
Booker T. vs. Positively Kanyon
Tony calls this the sixth match because the show has dulled his abilities to count. Booker headlocks him to start and scores with the spinning kick to the face. Some elbows and a dropkick put Kanyon down again and there goes Kanyon’s shirt. Booker finds the brick in the book though Kanyon didn’t see that it’s been removed.
Kanyon sends him out to the floor and a whip puts Booker into the barricade. That’s enough for the wrestling so Kanyon crushes Booker’s arm under the steps and baseball slides Booker’s ribs into the post. The apron superplex gets two and Kanyon wedges chair in the corner for later. Kanyon puts on a reverse Boston crab but is quickly pushed into a rollup for two.
That means it’s time for a book to the head for two more because there’s no brick. Naturally picking up a book or a book with a brick inside feels EXACTLY the same and Kanyon just didn’t notice. Booker pops up with the kicks for two each, followed by the Book End for another near fall. This brings out Jeff Jarrett with the guitar (he was bored remember) to knock Booker out, setting up a middle rope Kanyon Cutter for the pin.
Rating: C+. Match was fine until the TV ending. Kanyon’s offense really was different enough to make you pay attention and it was cool to see him win a big match, but assuming WCW knows what’s coming tonight, the ending here is questionable at best. Still though, best match on the show by about a mile so far.
Mike Awesome is hitting on the overweight viking chick when Pamela comes in to ask about Scott Steiner. Awesome promises a win and insults Pamela before leaving.
US Title: Mike Awesome vs. Scott Steiner
Steiner is defending and dives onto Awesome (who, like Steiner, is in black trunks with red lettering) but gets sent into the crowd for a dive over the barricade. Awesome gets in a trashcan shot but takes it back to ringside with Steiner in control. They get inside for the first time for a belly to belly superplex to give Scott the first near fall.
Steiner stays on the back but Awesome takes it right back to the floor for a chair shot to the ribs. A bell to the head means it’s time to look at a fan holding up a sign about Awesome’s mullet. More chair shots set up a slingshot splash for two and here’s the Cat for no apparent reason. Steiner fights back and loads up the Recliner but Cat reminds us that it’s illegal.
The distraction lets Awesome get two off an Alabama Slam, followed by the Awesome Splash for the same. There goes the referee so Cat comes in and superkicks Awesome by mistake. Steiner’s belly to belly sets up the Recliner so Cat strips him of the title and calls for the DQ. Scott really doesn’t seem to care and the announcers have no idea if Awesome is champion or not.
Rating: C-. So Awesome doesn’t seem to get the title (he wouldn’t), Steiner doesn’t care, and Cat is apparently only a heel when he’s dealing with Steiner. This is more wasting of the US Title because Steiner clearly doesn’t care about it after spending months barely acknowledging that he was champion at all. The title has been worthless for years now but this made it even worse.
Steiner beats Awesome up and celebrates anyway.
Vampiro vs. The Demon
This is in a graveyard (Or maybe a big graveyard set. Would you put it past WCW to rent one for something this big?) and you win by getting back to the arena first. No word on how far the graveyard is from the arena so this match might require a bus trip from Branson, Missouri. Assuming the graveyard is in the same city as the arena (would you really put it past WCW to have it be somewhere else?), there’s always the chance that the wrestlers will get lost on the streets of Daytona Beach. Vampiro dives out of a tree to attack Demon….and now we have no light.
A superkick puts Demon down and Vampiro, clearly on a microphone, tells Demon to join him. Asya kicks Vampiro in the back and they fight into an open grave for a bit. You can barely see anything here and Vampiro chases Asya off. Demon gets out of the grave and the match has become a footrace.
Vampiro throws him in the water and Asya is rocking back and forth. She gets dragged off again until Demon gets out of the water as Tony brings up the fact that they have no idea where the graveyard is. Demon finds Asya next to a coffin but Vampiro pops out and sprays mist in his face. Vampiro says join him or die but Demon says no, only to get hit in the head with a tombstone and knocked into the coffin. Vampiro leaves and we cut to an interview, so screw the rules for the “match”.
Rating: N/A. I’m not rating this because this had nothing to do with wrestling. This was a scene out of some weird horror movie that Russo probably saw back in 1993 and decided to recreate it on his show. I mean…….what is there to say about this? They were fighting in a graveyard, then in a pond, then one guy got knocked into a grave. I can’t believe I’m saying this but the evening gown match had WAY more value than this did. Total waste of time, much like everything else Vampiro does.
Shane Douglas promises to beat Buff Bagwell tonight.
You can win a sweepstakes and become Goldberg’s manager. I’ve heard worse ideas.
Shane Douglas vs. Buff Bagwell
Another feud where I don’t think most fans remember why they’re fighting in the first place, though Hudson does at least explain it. Buff starts a FRANCHISE SUCKS chant and is already doing more than most people on this show to get the fans to care. Often times it’s something as simple as telling them to chant something. The fans are made part of the show, which is more than you can say the majority of the wrestlers tonight have done.
The fight quickly heads outside with Shane being sent into the barricade but coming back with what was probably a low blow. The mats are peeled back but Shane can’t pull off a piledriver. Buff kicks him in the ribs, only to have Shane punch a chair into his face. They head inside for a crank on Bagwell’s still bad neck but here’s the returning Torrie Wilson to slap Shane. She’s going to turn on Bagwell in…..I’ll say two minutes or less.
Torrie stays on the apron as Bagwell makes his comeback before getting in to kick him low (didn’t even make it a minute). The Pittsburgh Plunge gives Shane two but Torrie breaks up the Blockbuster, allowing Shane to debut the Franchiser (a lame jawbreaker) for the pin, with tights of course because Shane is a heel.
Rating: D. The match was boring and the swerve was the most predictable in a LONG time (which is covering a lot in WCW terms) but Torrie looked better than usual (which is also covering a lot) and it’s always good to see Bagwell take a beating for some reason. Bad match but Torrie is a better valet than Tammy at this point anyway.
Shane and Torrie kiss some more.
Hogan has finally arrived.
Jarrett says he has allies tonight.
Quick recap of Jarrett and the fat viking women. It still makes no sense and goes WAY too far for the sake of a joke.
WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Jeff Jarrett
Hogan is challenging. There’s no Jarrett at first so here’s Vince Russo. Jarrett comes out and so does Hogan to make it look like we’re ready to go. Jeff is standing on the stage though and I have a bad feeling this isn’t ending well. The bell rings and Jeff lays down because SCREW YOU RUSSO. Hogan says this is why WCW is in the place it’s in and covers Jarrett for the pin and the title. We’ll be coming back to this later so I’ll go into it after the other stuff.
The announcers talk about how this couldn’t have been what was scripted. Those lines make my head hurt badly enough so I’ll skip the usual ranting about how stupid this is.
And now, Vampiro is back! So the match is now officially done, putting it at about thirty minutes. Vampiro says the dark circle is now complete and Dale Torborg is gone. Cue eight guys in Sting masks carrying a coffin. Someone who might be Sting (but clearly isn’t due to the hair length) jumps out and beats Vampiro with the bat before throwing him into the coffin. This would be another story that I never want to think about again.
Goldberg is trying really hard not to rip up the contract. This is about a week and a half after he ate the thing so this speech is kind of hard to buy.
Here’s Russo, who is booed out of the building. Not likely because of what his character did but because of the bait and switch he just booked. Russo talks about leaving three weeks ago but the fans rip into him before he can get anywhere. He didn’t know if he was going to come back because of all the politics backstage. Remember that he debuted in WCW roughly eight months ago and only returned three months earlier. Based on the way he talked, you would think he had been dealing with it for twenty years.
Russo came back for all of the boys in the locker room like Booker T., (given a military gimmick that wasn’t going anywhere), everyone in MIA (Given another lame military gimmick based around sex puns and Major Gunns taking off her top. Oh and Pops. Don’t forget Pops.), for the Filthy Animals (spinning their wheels for months) and for Jarrett (no explanation needed on that).
So he cares about them, just not enough to make them into anything important. None of the old guys like Hogan care about this place because he’s just a politician. Hogan wanted to play his creative control card tonight, meaning he gets to win the World Title. That’s the last time you’ll ever see Hogan in WCW (it truly was) but no one is going home disappointed tonight (oh I doubt that). Tonight, there’s going to be a new WCW World Title, which still belongs to Jarrett as far as Russo is concerned.
Russo says Jarrett is one of the only people who comes out here and works hard whether you love him or hate him (True. Jarrett gets a lot of flack but he’s one of the few main eventers who does seem to work hard every single week. He’s a lame World Champion, but undoubtedly a talented guy.).
Tonight, Jarrett is defending against someone who has been fighting for a spot in WCW “for fourteen years.” Booker has only been wrestling for eleven years at this point and debuted in WCW in 1993 so we can add math to the things that Russo is horrible at. Russo promises that Booker and Jeff will tear the house down tonight and leaves.
Where do you start with this? First of all, there have been a ton of explanations for what happened here but the most common that you’ll hear is most of it was a work but it turned into a semi-shoot. Hogan was allegedly scheduled to come back in roughly three months and side with Bischoff against Russo’s new champion, leading to a big match down the line. Not the most interesting idea in the world but I can go with that.
That brings us to Russo’s shoot, which was supposed to set up Hogan leaving before he came back. Allegedly Russo went too far and Hogan got ticked off, resulting in him sitting at home. Therefore, Hogan is gone and Russo gets to look like a hero after finding a way to get rid of Hogan and putting Booker in the title picture. There’s likely a wrong detail or two in there, but it’s the best I can figure out.
Here’s where the whole thing stops working for me (not on the story of it, but on why this is a bad idea): it’s all about Russo. What do people remember about this show? Russo’s shoot. Who is supposed to come out looking like a hero after weeks and months of being the star villain of the show? Russo. The World Champion coming into this show was Jeff Jarrett and he looks like the biggest afterthought in history as he was mentioned in the same breath as the Misfits in Action during that speech.
Yeah in all this chaos, Vince Russo is the one that comes off looking good. No matter what happens in this company, you can count on Russo being the star because he builds the whole thing around him. Whether it’s hanging on in the Figure Four for over a minute and completely defeating Ric Flair or getting rid of the horrible Hulk Hogan here, Russo is the big star in the whole thing and it’s not going to help any of the problems.
Another reason it won’t: as usual, NONE OF THIS MADE SENSE TO THE FANS! Common questions you probably heard asked in the crowd during and immediately after this speech: “What’s creative control?” “Backstage politics?” “What is he talking about?” This story is still confusing fifteen years and a lot of details later. For the live fans, they just saw the World Champion get pinned in an angle that they saw nine months earlier at Halloween Havoc 1999.
Big angle or not, it’s a bait and switch. Booker T. getting the shot is cool, but that’s not what the fans paid to see. There are probably a lot of people (of the six thousand in the arena) who wanted to see Hogan in the ring and they got ripped off. I know it’s probably better long term (or at least it would have been two or three years ago) but if Hogan was advertised, they should have had him do the match somehow. Instead it’s yet another case where people are going to say WCW is making this up as it goes and the stories make no sense while changing the channel to see what Rock and HHH are doing this week.
Overall, it’s another bad idea in a long list of them from Russo. As usual, it’s a big angle over a big match and the old guys and/or Russo are the ones who look good at the end of the day. The fans didn’t want to see whatever insane angle they had going here because that’s not what they signed up for. Maybe this works as a standalone angle at a different time, but WCW had lost any and all credibility at this point and another big shoot angle was the worst thing they could have done here. I’m sure we’ll hear more about it on Nitro, but this really doesn’t hold up on its own.
The announcers are stunned.
We recap Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash which is over Scott Hall’s contract. Goldberg ate it at one point (which is shown in the recap video) but had it again the next week. It made as much sense as anything else at this point. Goldberg hates the Outsiders for whatever reason and is trying to kill them once and for all.
Scott Steiner says he’s too busy to have Nash’s back. Just turn him now.
Kevin Nash vs. Goldberg
The contract is all crumpled up after being perfect the last time we saw it. Goldberg slugs him down in the corner and gets two off a suplex. A superkick gets the same but Nash comes back with a chokeslam for two of his own. Cue Steiner and Midajah to play cheerleader. Nash stops a charge with a boot and sidesteps the spear, meaning it’s time to take down the straps. Steiner comes in to turn on Nash, allowing the spear and Jackhammer to put Nash away in less than six minutes.
Rating: D-. Another lame match after way too much buildup because Nash can’t deliver on the checks his mouth writes. Steiner turning on Nash was obvious from the second that he came to the ring because in Russo’s world, you expect the swerve instead of being surprised by it. They couldn’t do the epic style a year and a half ago and no one thought they could here either.
Goldberg tears the contract up as Steiner puts Nash in the Recliner.
Booker says he’s ready.
The announcers preview the main event with Madden saying Jarrett is the kind of guy that Hogan held down. Yeah the four time World Champion was held down.
WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett
Jarrett is defending, though I guess you could say the title is vacant as well. I know Russo’s world is screwy but a champion getting pinned in a title match means the title changed in some way to me. Jarrett’s music cuts off Buffer’s big introduction for Booker. The title is bent at the top again and it’s clearly the original belt. They fight over a headlock to start and there are a lot of empty seats for this one.
Booker sends him out to the floor as the announcers talk about the formation of the New Blood leading to this. Back in and a side kick has Jeff in more trouble and they fight into the crowd to kill some time. Jarrett gets sent into a wall but comes back with a chair shot at ringside. Jeff piledrives him onto the table, which doesn’t break. Scott: “They finally got the construction right on this thing!”
We hit the chinlock to slow things down before Jeff starts in on the leg. The Figure Four has Booker in trouble but he turns it over without too much trouble. A cannonball misses Booker’s leg and there are even more empty seats now. Booker’s spinebuster gets two but he misses the side kick and hits the ropes. The referee goes down and Jeff misses a belt shot, allowing Booker to nail Jeff for a close two. Some hero.
Jeff puts a chair in the corner but gets sent into it head first for two more. Jeff beats up the referee and gives him a Stroke (without ever leaving his feet) but the top rope guitar shot is caught in the Book End to give Booker the pin and the title to a legitimately strong reaction. Well from the people still here.
Rating: B. Well they didn’t tear the house down but they did have a good match. Booker winning the title is about a year too late but it’s cool to see someone young (35) get the title for a change. It certainly can’t save the show because it’s taking a big backseat to the big story. Booker is a better option that Jeff as he’s far more likeable, but it’s just too late to do much good.
Booker is overcome with emotion to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. As good as it is to get rid of Hogan and as good as it is to have Booker as champion, the long and boring Perfect Event match, the wedding gown match, the stuff in the graveyard, all Russo all the time and all the interference really drag this down. It’s certainly not the worst show from a quality perspective but for every problem Russo fixes, he creates ten more. That’s the thing dragging the show down at this point and Booker as champion is nowhere near enough to fix that.
If you need to sum up the problem here, it’s the shoot being what people remember most from this show. In other words, they remember Russo and the shenanigans instead of Booker taking the title in a good match (longest of the night as well, clocking in at 13:40). It’s always about the drama and insanity in WCW and that can’t work long term. It didn’t in the WWF and it’s not going to here, but it’s all Russo knew so that’s all we’re going to get. Well that and Russo, because the show is still all about him.
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