Impact Wrestling – April 6, 2023: It’s The Best They Can Do

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 6, 2023
Location: St. Clair College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re done with Multiverse United and that means we are on the way to Rebellion. However, this time we are going to have to stop for the sake of Josh Alexander vacating the World Title due to injury. There is a new main event of Kushida vs. Steve Maclin for the vacant title at Rebellion, which should be good but won’t feel as special. Let’s get to it.

Here is Multiverse United if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Josh Alexander’s World Title reign and his injury, which may have been exacerbated by Kushida’s Hoverboard Lock in a recent match.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. TMDK

That would be Shane Haste/Bad Dude Tito for TMDK. Everything breaks down fast and the Guns send them to the floor, setting up the stereo dives. Back in and Skull & Bones is broken up, allowing Hates to take over on Shelley. Tito comes in to chop away for two and it’s right back to Haste for the neck crank.

A Downward Spiral into the corner gets Shelley out of trouble and Sabin comes in to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Guns take over, including a dive and a bunch of kicks. Back in and a toss Blue Thunder Bomb is broken up and it’s the Dream Sequence to Tito. A crucifix from Shelley into a rollup from Sabin finishes Haste at 7:46.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together, which shouldn’t be a surprise as the Guns can work with just about anyone. Haste and Tito have been around a little bit more frequently and what I’ve seen has worked. That being said, it’s a rather little bit so they have a ways to go before they really get anywhere.

Post match the Guns go to the back where they run into the Bullet Club, who can work their way up to another title shot. The Guns say they’ve already got a title match at Rebellion so let’s make it an Ultimate X match. If the Guns can make it happen, the Club is in.

Eddie Edwards makes sure Kenny King has his back against PCO tonight. King wants to know where Edwards was when he was fighting PCO, so no he doesn’t have Edwards’ back. He also makes it clear that he wasn’t the one driving the car that ran over PCO.

Tommy Dreamer comes up to see Scott D’Amore about being on his team at Rebellion. Dreamer sucks up to him but D’Amore says his job is back here.

Mike Bailey vs. Jonathan Gresham

The winner gets a shot at X-Division Champion Trey Miguel, on commentary, at Rebellion. They stare each other down to start and we get a handshake. They fight over a wristlock with neither getting very far. Instead Bailey backs him into the corner before a double collision puts them both down. We take a break and come back with Bailey missing a running shooting star press, setting up a pinfall reversal sequence. They go head to head and then chop it out until Gresham knocks him to the floor.

Back in and Gresham rolls him up for two but a flipping slam gives Bailey two more. Gresham grabs a not great looking Figure Four and they roll around until they fall under the bottom rope to break it up. After being in a Figure Four for over a minute, Bailey is fine enough to hit a top rope springboard moonsault to the floor. Bailey yells at Miguel, which is enough to draw him in for a springboard double dropkick for the double DQ at 13:09.

Rating: B-. Miguel came in just before Bailey could go insane with the no selling of the leg and that is fine enough. You can pencil in the triple threat for Rebellion from here and that isn’t the worst idea. Gresham and Bailey have had a rivalry going on and there is no reason to have one of them go over the other for a title shot. If nothing else, we continue the tradition of a champion not getting the problem of a double DQ in a #1 contenders match, so at least something is consistent.

Post match Miguel indicates he’s smart. I’m sure.

Deaner is impressed Callihan has made it this far and talks about Callihan doing well in step six. Then Callihan cost them a match against Time Machine, which Callihan finds ridiculous. It’s time for step seven, which involves getting rid of all other authority in Callihan’s life except for the Design. He can figure out how to do that. This remains one of the worst things in wrestling today.

Santino Marella makes the triple threat match for the X-Division Title at Rebellion. We’ll even make it elimination style.

Jody Threat vs. Tara Rising

The fact that Rising has hair ala mid 1990s HHH is just a coincidence I assure you. Threat grabs a headlock to start as we see Santino Marella down in the back. A running clothesline and uppercut stagger Rising before some standing clotheslines rock Rising again. Some more clotheslines set up the double knees to the back and a German suplex drops Rising again. An F5 (the F416, the local area code) finishes Rising at 3:08.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work very well as Threat wasn’t exactly impressive. She felt like almost anyone who would fit in with almost any low level indy promotion who needs a stereotypical intense woman. Maybe this was just a tryout or something but Threat didn’t really stand out in any good way here.

In the back, Scott D’Amore checks on Santino Marella, with Dirty Dango saying the Design did this. Dango thinks that since Marella is out of action (as he sits there wide awake), he should be in charge. Instead, D’Amore says that Dango and Joe Hendry should face the Design. Marella says this is a chance to show his son how to stand up for himself, so he’ll fight the Design at Rebellion. Because of course he will.

Gisele Shaw, Jai Vidal and Savannah Evans interrupt Tasha Steelz. Shaw isn’t happy with Steelz interrupting her and a match is set for next week.

Bully Ray/Good Hands vs. Tommy Dreamer/Yuya Uemura/Darren McCarty

McCarty is a former NHL player who got in a fight with Ray at Sacrifice. Skyler slugs away at Dreamer to start to no avail, so Uemura comes in for a double hiptoss. The jumping elbow drop gives Uemura two before it’s off to Hotch, who gets armbarred down. A cheap shot takes Dreamer down though and the double villain choking ensues. Dreamer finally DDTs his way out of trouble and it’s McCarty coming in to clean house. McCarty clears the ring before hitting a Stunner on Hotch for the pin at 5:47.

Rating: C. The match was nothing to see but rather a way to have McCarty in there for something a bit special. That’s all it needed to be and McCarty didn’t take up too much time. If nothing else, it meant we didn’t have to hear Dreamer and Ray talk again for a week so I’ll call that one a success.

Post match Kenny King runs in to go after Dreamer, drawing in Frankie Kazarian, Masha Slamovich and Killer Kelly in a row. Dreamer, Kelly, Uemura and Kazarian clear the ring as we seem to have a Team Dreamer for Rebellion.

Video on Josh Alexander’s World Title reign.

Jordynne Grace did well in a bodybuilding competition.

We look at Deonna Purrazzo qualifying for the Knockouts Title match at Rebellion.

Purrazzo talks about how rough of a time she has had in the last year but now she has a chance to get back to the top.

Eddie Edwards vs. PCO

PCO puts him on the top rope to start and snaps off a super hurricanrana as we take a break. Back with Edwards not being able to hit a tiger driver on the floor but settling for a superplex instead. A chop out goes to PCO and he choke shoves Edwards to the floor. The suicide cannonball plants Edwards again and a chokeslam onto the apron sends us to another break.

Back again with PCO hitting the Deanimator but Edwards pulls the referee in front of a charge. PCO goes up top but here is Alisha Edwards to beg him no on the PCOsault. Then she kendo sticks him in the head so Eddie can hit a buckle bomb. The Boston Knee Party finishes PCO at 16:45.

Rating: C+. PCO can still do some crazy things in the ring but at least the ending seems to explain who was driving the car. If nothing else, this ties up the on again/off again deal with Alisha and Eddie, which does at least offer something different for Eddie. You know there’s going to be some wacky match at Rebellion and that could at least be a lot of fun.

Post match PCO gives chase but Edwards and Edwards escape in their car.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Here is Scott D’Amore, with Kushida and Steve Maclin here as well, to accept Josh Alexander’s World Title. D’Amore talks about how great Alexander has been as champion and hypes up a new champion being crowned at Rebellion. Here’s Alexander, with his wife and son, to talk about opportunities. He toiled on the Canadian independent scene to get a chance and then D’Amore offered him a contract.

Alexander has worked so hard in and out of the ring to pay people like D’Amore back. His work ethic has brought him this far and he stands here the longest reigning World Champion in Impact’s history. At Rebellion, there will be a new champion crowned and we’ll find out if Maclin has what it takes. Alexander promises to get the title back and goes to hand it over….and then his son takes the title.

After a NEW CHAMP chant, the title is handed over to D’Amore but Maclin says just hand it to him because he was going to win it at Rebellion. D’Amore goes off on Maclin for going after an injured Alexander, because if Maclin was a real man, he would have accepted the open challenge like Mike Bailey did. Maclin isn’t a real man and a few weeks ago, Kushida made him tap out. Maclin calls out Kushida, who pulls him into the Hoverboard Lock and sends him running before holding up the title. Kushida hands the title back to D’Amore to end the show. They did what they could with what they had here so this could have been worse.

Overall Rating: C+. This was another standard Impact show with enough good action and building towards the future. The Alexander segment was doing as well as could be expected given some horrible circumstances that aren’t Impact’s fault so I’ll take what I can get. Other than that, they’re getting Rebellion ready and we might even be seeing less from Santino Marella week to week. I’ll call that a win so it’s another nice week around here.

Results
Motor City Machine Guns b. TMDK – Rollup to Haste
Mike Bailey vs. Jonathan Gresham went to a double DQ when Trey Miguel interfered
Jody Threat b. Tara Rising – F416
Darren McCarty/Tommy Dreamer/Yuya Uemura b. Bully Ray/Good Hands – Stunner to Hotch
Eddie Edwards b. PCO – Boston Knee Party

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 23, 2023: Leave The Memories Alone

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 23, 2023
Location: Sam’s Town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

It is the night before Sacrifice and we are eight days away from Multiverse United. That means it is time to build up both shows at the last minute, as there is still some work that needs to be done. The good thing is that both shows already have quite a bit set and now the final touches can be applied. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Steve Maclin vs. Josh Alexander, including Maclin costing Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian a six man tag last week.

Opening sequence.

The Design vs. Time Machine

Callihan is here with the Design. Kushida squares up to Kon to start but Sabin comes in as well, allowing Kon to clothesline both of them down. Deaner comes in and gets struck down by the Guns, only to take Sabin into the wrong corner. It’s off to Angels to trade chops with Sabin before a leg lariat puts Sabin down. Sabin ties Angels up though and Kushida/Shelley kick Angels’ arms out to take over.

There’s a running hesitation dropkick in the corner to hit Angels again and Shelley stays on the bad arm. Kushida snaps the arm across the top and it’s off to a double arm crank. Sabin comes back in but gets taken into the wrong corner so Angels can choke a bit. A sunset flip gets two on Deaner and Sabin dives over to Kushida for the tag. House is quickly cleaned and everything breaks down, with Kushida and Shelley taking over on Deaner’s arm for a change.

The handspring kick knocks Kon off the apron and Kushida hits a big dive to the floor to take out a variety of people. We take a break and come back with Angels (favoring his arm) and Kushida trading their forearms. Deaner kicks Kushida in the head and Kon’s spinebuster sets up Angel’s frog splash for two. A double clothesline Doomsday Device gets two on Kushida as Shelley makes the save.

Everything breaks down again and Angels is left alone, setting up a triple Dream Sequence. A triple kick in the head looks to set up Skull And Bones but Deaner makes the save. Hold on though as Callihan gets in to protect Deaner, leaving Callihan to get taken down as well. Angel’s dive is loaded up but he gets pulled into the Hoverboard Lock. Sabin kicks the arm away from the ropes and Angels taps at 18:50.

Rating: C+. Well that was….long. I’m not sure why anyone thinks there is a need for a Design match to go nearly twenty minutes but thankfully Time Machine was there to balance things out a bit. The action was fine but I can’t understand what is supposed to be interesting about the Design. It would be great to finally get to whatever they’re setting up with Callihan, because there has been almost nothing interesting so far and I have no reason to believe that is going to change.

The Coven is happy to be the new Knockouts Tag Team Champions and like magic.

Raj Singh and Shera are rich and like it in Las Vegas. The former is so rich that he’s now Champagne Singh as we just keep up the stereotypes.

Eddie Edwards is in the back with Kenny King and talks about how he has to get rid of PCO. That’s why he has brought in help, with King talking about how they realized they needed each other at Jay Briscoe’s mama’s house. PCO was never family like them, so King is going to take PCO out at Sacrifice.

Savannah Evans vs. Deonna Purrazzo

Gisele Shaw and Jai Vidal are here with Evans. Purrazzo slugs away to start but gets shoved down without much effort. There’s a running splash to crush Purrazzo in the corner and Evans throws her right back out. Purrazzo manages to snap off a running hurricanrana though and Evans crashes out to the floor. The baseball slide drops Evans again but a Shaw distraction lets Evans send Purrazzo into various things.

We take a break and come back with Purrazzo still in trouble as Shaw is rather pleased. A running shoulder in the corner sets up a butterfly suplex as Purrazzo is getting crushed here. The chinlock goes on as Shaw’s slapping the mat over and over again sounds like someone knocking on a door.

Purrazzo fights up and gets a boot up in the corner before going after the arm. That doesn’t work so Purrazzo hits a running knee into a Russian legsweep. Now the Fujiwara armbar can go on, with Evans making it over to the rope. Back up and Evans snaps off a suplex but gets kicked in the head. Evans is sent to the apron but the distractions are on. Evans accidentally kicks Vidal down and Purrazzo gets rid of Shaw, setting up a crucifix to pin Evans at 13:51.

Rating: C. This was another long match and mostly a squash until Purrazzo beat up two people at once to beat Evans. Purrazzo is geared up for her match with Shaw at Sacrifice and now we should be in for a showdown tomorrow night. Evans continues to look like a monster for most of her matches but then comes up short in the end, which could go somewhere in the future.

Post match Evans lays Purrazzo out and Shaw helps out with the beating. This goes on for a bit and no one saves Purrazzo.

Flashback Moment Of The Week (They still do these?): The Motor City Machine Guns b. Team 3D and Beer Money at Sacrifice 2010.

The Death Dollz are mad at losing the Knockouts Tag Team Titles with Taya Valkyrie trying to calm the other two down. They need a new plan! Jessika isn’t having that and goes after the Coven right now, only to find….a casket. Jessika opens it up and finds….well we’re not sure as Taya slams it shut. A hand reaches out of the casket and pulls Taya in. Where to you ask? AEW.

Bully Ray/Masha Slamovich vs. Tommy Dreamer/Mickie James

For those of you who needed a preview of Dreamer vs. Ray. The men start things off with Ray going after Mickie instead. Ray wants Mickie to come in and she does exactly that after about a minute of staring. Slamovich comes in for the slugout about two minutes in but Mickie plants her with a flapjack. It’s off to Dreamer for some arm cranking before Mickie comes back in, only to have Ray pull her down by the hair.

Ray comes in for a slam as commentary is quiet for a lot of long stretches. Mickie slips away though and hands it back to Dreamer for right hands in the corner. A cutter gives Dreamer two with Slamovich making the save. The top rope seated senton drops Slamovich and Mickie plays D-Von with a WHAT’S UP (ax handle version). Everything breaks down and Ray loads up a table as Mickie dives onto Slamovich. The distraction lets Ray hit Dreamer low, setting up a piledriver for the pin at 9:26.

Rating: C. This worked when Mickie and Masha were in there, with Ray being ok enough. I’m completely with caring about anything Dreamer does, but at least his stuff was kept short. What mattered here was having the two matches set up, as strange as it is that seeing Ray pin Dreamer before they have a first blood match. Then again having them in what is very possibly the main event of a show in 2023 is strange enough.

Post match Ray loads up a powerbomb on James but here is Jordynne Grace to break it up. Grace and Ray stare each other down and Grace spears….Mickie by mistake as Ray moves.

Rich Swann and Frankie Kazarian are in the back with Swann being upset about last week. Kazarian wants him to go find Josh Alexander and settle this now. Post break Swann goes into Alexander’s locker room and finds Steve Maclin. Swann yells, with Maclin saying maybe Alexander wanted him here. Swann is confused.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Dirty Dango/Joe Hendry vs. Moose/Brian Myers

Before the match, Dango insists that we believe in Hendry and the fans seem pleased. Hendry headlocks Myers to start and then runs him over with a shoulder. A delayed suplex drops Myers and Dango comes in as Myers rolls into the corner. Moose comes in and takes Dango into the corner but Hendry comes in to clear the ring. Hendry and Dango have two words for us….but Dango has to be reminded that they aren’t SUCK IT.

We take a break and come back with Moose sending Dango into the corner and knocking Hendry off the apron. Myers drops Dango as the alternating beatdowns continue. Moose charges into a boot in the corner though and a middle rope corkscrew uppercut gives Dango a breather. The tag brings in Hendry to clean house and a pop up powerbomb gets two on Myers. Everything breaks down and Moose spears Hendry down. Myers’ Roster Cut finishes Hendry at 13:44.

Rating: C+. Nice tag match here which set up the title match on Friday. Hendry continues to feel like a star and someone who could be a big deal if he is given the chance at some point down the line. Seeing him get pinned in a tag match is kind of a big deal as Hendry has been such a star, but he’ll be fine if he retains the title at Sacrifice.

Josh Alexander goes into his locker room and finds Rich Swann, who wants to know why Steve Maclin was here. Alexander, who is remarkably calm about two people apparently having been in his locker room, is off to find out what is going on here.

Here is Josh Alexander to talk about Steve Maclin. Alexander has seen Maclin leave a trail of bodies around here and he can respect that. What he can’t respect is the allegation that he is ducking Maclin. All that makes Maclin is someone complaining and a…..forgotten son. Cue Maclin to say that yes he is afraid to fail because he doesn’t want to go all the way back to the bottom.

He is obsessed with winning the Impact World Title and we see clips of Maclin watching Alexander’s matches from the shadows during his title reign. Alexander says he respects Maclin so bring it on right now. Maclin says nah, because he’s going to do it in Alexander’s hometown at Rebellion.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling wasn’t great here but it did a nice enough job of building up Sacrifice. That is trickier than it seems though, as the show isn’t the biggest in the world. The main event very well may be Dreamer vs. Ray, as the only other real option is Mickie vs. Grace. Once that is out of the way though, we’re on to Rebellion and that should work well.

So……you might need to forget a good bit of this show, as both Josh Alexander (torn tricep) and Mickie James (undisclosed) are injured and have been forced to vacate their titles. The Knockouts Title will be determined at Sacrifice and the World Title at Rebellion, with Steve Maclin facing Kushida. No word on what happens to the Multiverse United card. Egads that’s horrible, as they might have just lost their two top stars at once.

Results
Time Machine b. The Design – Hoverboard Lock to Angels
Deonna Purrazzo b. Savannah Evans – Crucifix
Bully Ray/Masha Slamovich b. Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer – Piledriver to Dreamer
Moose/Brian Myers b. Dirty Dango/Joe Hendry – Roster Cut to Hendry

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 16, 2023: The Balancing Act

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 16, 2023
Location: Sam’s town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

Sacrifice is next week and the card, while is looking a bit stacked, is coming together. That means we are likely to get some more build towards Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray this week, as that is likely headlining the show. Otherwise, the six man tag featuring Time Machine should see some more setup as well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

In the desert, PCO screams for Eddie Edwards to come fight him.

Opening sequence.

Mike Bailey/Jonathan Gresham vs. Decay

Steve has to bail to the ropes to escape Gresham to start but a bite of the hand has Gresham in trouble. Bailey comes in and is sent outside just as fast, leaving Decay to double team Gresham down in the corner. Gresham gets sent into the corner but forearms/dropkicks his way to freedom. Bailey comes in to backflip a bit and kicks Steve down. There’s the running shooting star for two on Steve…who bites on Bailey’s boot.

The boot is fine enough for the bouncing kicks but Steve hits a clothesline for the double knockdown. Taurus comes in for his huge backbreaker into a pop up Samoan drop for two on Bailey. Everything breaks down and Gresham sends Steve outside, leaving Bailey to kick Taurus in the head for one. Steve and Gresham fight on the floor as Bailey hits the spinning kick, setting up the Ultimate Weapon for the pin on Taurus at 6:19.

Rating: C+. This was shorter than I was expecting but Bailey didn’t managed to no sell a bad knee so he is doing better than usual. Other than that, it was the partners who don’t quite like each other teaming together to beat a midcard team, which isn’t a horrible stretch. Bailey is a popular enough star to carry the opener, and the Ultimate Weapon does look painful so had a nice start here.

Post match Gresham and Bailey seem a bit testy with each other but respect is shown.

Josh Alexander, Frankie Kazarian and Rich Swann are ready for the Bullet Club tonight. They’ve been successful on their own and now it’s time to succeed together. They trust each other, but here is Steve Maclin to interrupt, with Swann not seeming pleased.

Gisele Shaw says she didn’t lost last week and blames Deonna Purrazzo. Revenge is coming at Sacrifice. Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice come in and suggest Swinger faces….interviewer Gia Miller? Instead, he’ll face Jai Vidal.

Steve Maclin vs. Heath

Heath starts fast with some running forearms but gets sent into the corner to cut him off. Maclin runs him over with a good shot to the face until a backdrop sends him to the floor. We take a break and come back with Maclin beating him up at ringside and choking on the rope. A backbreaker gives Maclin two and we hit the abdominal stretch. Heath fights out and slugs away, including the jumping knee and powerslam for two. Maclin cuts off a bulldog though and ties him in the Tree of Woe, setting up the spear. KIA finishes Heath at 12:04.

Rating: C+. I’m still kind of amazed at what Heath has been doing in Impact as he has turned into a rather reliable in-ring star without doing much of the comedy. Granted he never really got the chance to show what he could do so maybe this has been there all along. That being said, this was all about getting Maclin another win on his path to the World Title shot and that went well.

The Death Dollz are ready to retain the Knockout Tag Team Titles but Taya says Jessika might be too much of a liability. Taya and Rosemary can handle this themselves, which (after Jessika leaves), seems to be because they think Jessika could be swayed.

PCO has walked from the desert to Las Vegas, shouting or Eddie on the way.

Jonathan Gresham calls Mike Bailey his sidekick but Bailey says he isn’t forgetting Gresham beating him. They’ll run it back at Sacrifice.

Johnny Swinger vs. Jai Vidal

Zicky Dice, Savannah and Gisele Shaw are all here too. Swinger doesn’t think much of Vidal to start and his offer of a test of strength is answered with a dropkick. Vidal drops an elbow to send Swinger into the corner but a charge misses. Dice grabs Vidal’s leg and gets ejected, with the distraction letting Swinger choke on the rope. Evans breaks up the camel clutch and gets ejected, along with Shaw. Cue Deonna Purrazzo to jump Shaw, leaving Vidal to hit a running dropkick to finish Swinger at 3:22.

Rating: C. Total comedy match here and yeah it worked well, as does almost everything that Swinger does. Having him lose over and over is a funny idea, as he is still trying to find someone he can beat. Vidal was fine enough in the ring, but this was all about Swinger (and Purrazzo in the end) and he delivered.

Deaner talks about Callihan’s sixth step when Callihan storms in to yell about last week. Callihan’s sixth step is about taking punishment, which he’ll do. Deaner seems to have an idea. Here’s an idea: WRAP THIS STORY UP ALREADY!

PCO arrives at the arena, still screaming for Eddie Edwards.

Mickie James comes up to Tommy Dreamer, who has requested that they have a mixed tag against Bully Ray and Masha Slamovich next week. Jordynne Grace comes in to say this is a bad idea and promises that she’s still coming for the title.

Here is Eddie Edwards for a chat. He has been thinking a lot and is ready to let the past be in the past. Everything that has happened before is over and it is time for him to focus on himself and his future in Impact. We look at someone in a car saving Eddie from PCO last week and…here is PCO. Before he can make it to the ring though, Kenny King comes up from behind and hits him with a shovel, allowing Edwards to come up for the double team.

Commentary speculates that King was driving Edwards’ getaway car last week before PCO sits up on the ramp. The brawl is on and PCO gets crushed between the steps and post. That’s broken up and PCO (bleeding from the back of the head) cleans house, only to have King grab a Blockbuster. The chair is put over PCO’s head and Edwards crushes it with a kendo stick. This isn’t going to end well for them is it?

Santino Marella is in the back with….Vladimir Kozlov of all people. They’re happy to be back together and then Kozlov leaves. Dirty Dango comes in and can’t say Kozlov’s name. That’s enough for SAY HIS NAME AND HE APPEARS, so here is Joe Hendry, who wants Brian Myers. Santino makes the match so Dango can gush over what a Hendry fan he is. It’s such a big deal that Santino makes Hendry and Dango against Myers and Moose.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: The Coven vs. Death Dollz

The Dollz (Rosemary/Taya Valkyrie) are defending and Jessika is here with them. Taya crossbodies King down to start and hands it off to Rosemary for a suplex. Wilde comes in to slug away, earning a bite to the hear from Rosemary. Everything breaks down and the Coven is clotheslined to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Rosemary fighting out of a chinlock but getting pulled down by the hair. Wilde chokes in the corner but Rosemary manages a quick Upside Down. King is knocked away and the hot tag brings in Taya to clean house. The running hip attack and running knees in the corner hit King for two but Wilde hits a Fameasser over the ropes. Everything breaks down but King breaks up the Road To Valhalla. Instead Wilde hits a kick to the head and King’s pumphandle flipping faceplant connects for the pin and the titles at 11:32.

Rating: C+. Taya appearing on this week’s Dynamite didn’t exactly help with the result but well done on trying to make some new stars out of nowhere. Wilde has been trying to find her way back to prominent since her return and King has only been around for a few weeks. Nice match too, without Jessika playing into the finish as they seemed to telegraph.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian vs. Bullet Club

Kazarian flips out of Bey’s wristlock to start but Bey kicks him into the corner. There’s a running chop and it’s Austin coming in. That’s fine with Kazarian, who sends Bey outside and grabs Austin’s arm. Swann comes in and is quickly dropped with a springboard dropkick, allowing Austin to grab a headlock (as is the customary followup to a springboard missile dropkick). That’s broken up as well and it’s off to Kenta vs. Alexander, which has the fans’ approval. They slowly slug it out until everything breaks down, with Bullet Club being sent to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Bey kicking Swann in the head and motioning that Swann is asleep. Austin and Bey use some precision kicks to put Swann down for two but Bey misses a legdrop. Kenta isn’t having any of this tagging stuff though and kicks Swann right back down. Swann manages a kick though and it’s Kazarian coming back in to really clean house.

Everything breaks down and Alexander comes in to strike on Bey. The hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb on Bey and Swann adds the middle rope 450. Austin makes the save and it’s time for the exchange of kicks to the head. Swann flips off the apron onto Swann but gets taken down by Bey.

The slingshot dive is loaded up but Kazarian pulls bey out of the air into a cutter onto the pile (that was great). Back in and Swann hits an ax kick to Bey and Kazarian adds the slingshot DDT to Austin. Kenta knees Swann down but gets dropped by Alexander. Cue Steve Maclin for a distraction though and Alexander gets kicked down. The Art of Finesse into the Fold finishes Swann at 17:57.

Rating: B. This was rolling by the end and the Maclin distraction was about all they could have done to get out of this without something rather screwy. You don’t want the new champs winning and Kenta probably isn’t getting pinned, so having Maclin there was the best way out. Rather good match too, with talented wrestlers getting time to do what they can.

Overall Rating: B-. Impact is somehow managing to build towards three shows (granted one of them is in name only for the most part) at once and thankfully they didn’t bother with that much about Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray. That feud doesn’t need any more time and hopefully they can have their match and move on (yeah I know there’s no way that’s it). Other than that, you had some build towards Sacrifice, which is looking rather strong. Good show this week, as we should be in for a nice few weeks coming up.

Results
Mike Bailey/Jonathan Gresham b. Decay – Ultimate Weapon to Black Taurus
Steve Maclin b. Heath – KIA
Jai Vidal b. Johnny Swinger – Running dropkick
The Coven b. Death Dollz – Pumphandle flipping faceplant to Valkyrie
Bullet Club b. Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian – Fold to Swann

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 9, 2023: There’s Good And Bad

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 9, 2023
Location: Sam’s Town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are on our way to a trio of shows with Sacrifice, Multiverse United and Rebellion, which makes for quite the packed series of builds. That got started last week with a little something for each show getting time, but they are going to have to do it again for the next few weeks. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Here is Bully Ray to get things going. At No Surrender, Tommy Dreamer used the words “someone like me” (meaning Ray). What did he mean when he said that? Did he mean a two time Hall of Famer or half of the greatest tag team ever? Maybe a two time World Champion?

Ray wishes he knew what Dreamer meant, because he threw hot coffee into Dreamer’s face. Dreamer wants a Busted Open match at Sacrifice but there is no way Dreamer is making it there. Cue Santino Marella to call Bully “Bobby Ray” and say that Dreamer will be at Sacrifice. It was only a minor burn to his balls….er, eyeball so he’ll be fine.

Cue Bhupinder Gujjar to speak Hindi and issue a challenge for right now. Santino makes the match and we’re on. This Santino stuff is getting REALLY old as he’s still doing the same “gee I sure do talk funny” shtick, which can be charming for all of 12 seconds before you realize that he’s making the crowd chuckle over what was supposed to be a serious angle.

Bhupinder Gujjar vs. Bully Ray

Ray’s chain shot doesn’t work to start so he clotheslines Gujjar down instead. Gujjar gets up and yells a lot, seemingly inviting Ray to hit him. Ray’s right hands are shrugged off and Gujjar dropkicks him down. Ray catches him on top though and loads up the chain, which takes too long as well, allowing Gujjar to get in a shot of his own. Gujjar loads up the chain but gets low blowed for the DQ at 3:31.

Rating: D+. Remember when Gujjar was looking like he could be something? Well now he’s cannon fodder in the star making feud between Bully Ray and Tommy Dreamer. This was hardly a high energy match and was much more about Ray trying to get out of having the actual match. Nothing to see here, but thank goodness Ray got his time in.

Post match Ray chains Gujjar in the back but Tommy Dreamer comes in for the save (Why didn’t he come out earlier?). Cue Masha Slamovich to hit Dreamer low but Mickie James makes the save. The women brawl until Dreamer gets up to chase Ray off with a chair.

PCO is next to a grave with a shovel and screams for Eddie Edwards to come fight him.

Josh Alexander comes up to Rich Swann and gets him on his team for a six man at Sacrifice. Steve Maclin comes in but Swann says this isn’t about him. Frankie Kazarian comes in and Maclin leaves, with Kazarian seemingly joining Swann and Alexander at Sacrifice.

Callihan vs. Rhino

The Design and Heath are here too. They trade shoulders to start and neither goes anywhere. The fight heads outside with Callihan raking the eyes and posting him to take over. A Russian legsweep on the ramp puts Rhino down again and the seconds get in an argument. We take a break and come back with Rhino hitting a TKO for two, followed by a belly to belly. A hard clothesline out of the corner cuts Rhino off but it’s too early for the Cactus Driver 97. Angels grabs Callihan’s foot though and Khan adds a chair to the face, allowing Rhino to hit the Gore for the pin at 10:11.

Rating: C. This was as good as a ten minute Rhino vs. Callihan match was going to be as there is only so much the two of them are going to pull off. Rhino is still able to have a watchable enough match and it is nice to see him get a win here. At the same time, the Callihan/Design stuff is still pretty horrible and it needs to wrap up soon. It won’t, but it needs to.

Trey Miguel interrupts Dirty Dango and Santino Marella in the back, asking what they’re going to do for him. That works for Santino, who makes Miguel vs. a handpicked opponent at Sacrifice, plus a six way match for the X-Division Title at Multiverse United. Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice come in to see if Miguel is as tall as Sky Low Low. With Miguel gone, Swinger asks about facing Dango, who says he’s the assistant Director of Authority. Swinger and Dice leave, so Marella says that isn’t Dango’s job. Dango: “It’s not a job. It’s a way of life.”

During the break, Callihan was mad at the Design but was told that was step #6.

Jordynne Grace vs. Alex Gracia

Grace powers her into the corner to start as we hear about Grace competing as a bodybuilder. A German suplex out of the corner gets two on Gracia but the Grace Driver is blocked. Instead Grace grabs a torture rack spin into a powerbomb. Now the Grace Driver finishes Gracia off at 2:26.

Moose comes up to Joe Hendry, who is telling jokes to a bunch of fans. Brian Myers jumps Hendry from behind and the big beatdown is on.

The Bullet Club, complete with Kenta, come in to mock Josh Alexander/Frankie Kazarian/Rich Swann. The six man is set for next week. Alexander mocks Ace Austin and Chris Bey for being overly excited about being the Tag Team Champions, which doesn’t sit well with the champs.

Jonathan Gresham vs. Kushida

They go technical to start (yes really) with neither being able to get very far. Instead they shake hands and spin around a lot while fighting over arm control. Neither gets very far so Kushida takes it to the mat and rides him a bit. Gresham reverses into a hammerlock on the mat but Kushida gets to his feet, with Gresham still cranking away. It’s finally broken up and Kushida stomps on Gresham’s hand but Gresham is right back with another armbar.

Kushida’s armbar sends Gresham to the rope so Kushida dropkicks the arm to keep him in trouble. Gresham is right back with la majistral for two so he tries it again, only to get reversed into a cradle to give Kushida two of his own. Back up and Kushida sends him into the ropes, which bangs up Gresham’s arm again. The Hoverboard Lock makes Gresham tap at 10:04.

Rating: B-. This was the technical match that you knew it would be and it made Kushida look that much better because he beat someone on his level. Both of them are established names but Kushida is on his way to the World Title shot at Multiverse United so he needed the win here. Good match, and different from everything else on the show.

Eddie Edwards goes to the grave where PCO called him out. That sounds like a very bad idea.

Here is Killer Kelly to sit in a chair and call out Taylor Wilde. Cue Wilde, who says this isn’t about Kelly but rather the future. Kelly doesn’t think much of Wilde telling the future with cards, because she controls her own destiny. Taylor pulls out the tower card and it’s KiLynn King coming in from behind to chair Kelly down. A Death Valley Driver plants Kelly again. I’ve liked King in the past so this is interesting.

Still at the grave, PCO swings his shovel at a rock.

The Death Dollz teleport in to console Killer Kelly, with Rosemary telling her that she needs to grasp the darker realm. Kelly doesn’t seem convinced but says she can handle a 2-1 situation herself. With Kelly gone, KiLynn King and Taylor Wilde come in to make the Knockouts Tag Team Titles challenge. Rosemary is in, if King and Wilde agree to give up the dark arts if they lose. Deal.

Eddie Edwards arrives at the grave but there is no PCO. Then PCO pops up behind him but misses the big swing with the shovel. They fight a bit and PCO sends him into a rock. Eddie manages to grab the shovel but PCO drops him with a reverse DDT (as you do in a fight by a grave). PCO sends him into the grave but here’s a car to run PCO over. Eddie gets in the car and rides away but we never see who is driving.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Knockouts Title: Gisele Shaw vs. Mickie James

Shaw, with Jai Vidal and Savannah Evans, is challenging and Deonna Purrazzo is on commentary. Mickie takes her down with a headlock to start but gets reversed into a headscissors. Back up and they fight over wrist control until Mickie sends her outside for a crash to send us to a break.

We come back with Shaw sending her into the corner to take over. Mickie’s Thesz press gives her a breather though and they slowly slug it out. Shaw gets the better of things and grabs a reverse chinlock to keep James down. Back up and Shaw charges into a boot in the corner, allowing Mickie to hurricanrana her out. The comeback is on but Mickie has to dive onto the goons on the floor.

Shaw gets in a cheap shot to take over again though and the chops have Mickie in trouble in the corner. A pull of the hair drops Mickie again but she explodes out of the corner for the double knockdown. Mickie strikes away and hits a flapjack as the referee seems to tell her how much time is left. The top rope Thesz press gets two on Shaw but Vidal’s distraction breaks up the MickieDT. Purrazzo breaks that up so Shaw grabs a rollup, only to have Purrazzo turn it back over so Mickie can retain at 17:00.

Rating: B-. This match got a lot of time and the ending seems to bring Purrazzo either into the title picture or in line for a showdown with Shaw (or perhaps both). For now though, these two had a good match, with Shaw holding up her end and James being her usual awesome self. It felt like a big time main event and that is a hard trick to pull off a lot of the time.

Overall Rating: C+. This show got better as it went on but there were definitely some rocky points. There are some parts here which just aren’t very good and give me no reason to want to see what happens in them from week to week. Stuff such as Ray vs. Dreamer and the Design/Callihan stuff is just there with few positives to either of them and it hurts to watch them. Then on the other hand you have the solid Knockouts division and the main event feuds, though a lot of that seems to be on hold until we get closer to the build to Rebellion. For now though, the bad stuff gets bailed out, as the positives are quite positive.

Results
Bhupinder Gujjar b. Bully Ray via DQ when Ray hit him low
Rhino b. Callihan – Gore
Jordynne Grace b. Alex Gracia – Grace Driver
Kushida b. Jonathan Gresham – Hoverboard Lock
Mickie James b. Gisele Shaw – Rollup

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling – February 16, 2023: It Took Long Enough

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 16, 2023
Location: Osceola Heritage Park, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are some amount of days away from No Surrender and that means it is time for some other qualifying match for the #1 contenders match. Other than that, hopefully we get more build towards Josh Alexander defending the World Title against Rich Swann. Also hopefully, we get less build towards the eventual Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray showdown. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory Of Jerry Jarrett.

Opening recap.

Chris Bey vs. Kushida

Yeah this works and Ace Austin/the Motor City Machine Guns are the seconds. Kushida takes him down without much trouble to start with Bey having to bail to the ropes. Bey picks up the speed and sweeps out the leg before hitting a kick to the head. They head outside with Kushida getting sent into the apron, only to kick the arm out on the way back inside.

The arm is slammed into the mat and Kushida twists it around for a bonus. Bey heads outside and manages something like an apron 619. A double clothesline puts them both down and it’s a double dive back in at nine. Kushida goes after the arm again but Bey manages a torture rack neckbreaker for two.

A front flip double kick to the face sends Bey outside and the BIG flip dive drops him again. Back in and Kushida kicks at the bad arm but Bey gets in a quick knockdown. The Art of Finesse is broken up and Kushida gets a cross armbreaker, only to get reversed into a cradle for two. Kushida grabs an arm trap into a small package for the pin at 11:42.

Rating: B. Oh like this wasn’t going to be really good. Kushida can still go with anyone and Bey looked great even in defeat. It was the kind of back and forth match that you need every so often, with Kushida’s submission stuff against Bey’s athleticism and quickness. Heck of an opener here and every bit of what I was expecting.

Tommy Dreamer and Bully Ray have a sitdown with Santino Marella. The solution is a live Busted Open Radio segment at No Surrender with their fellow host Dave Lagreca moderating. They argue over gets to go first with Santino making a Beat The Clock Challenge next week with the winner getting to go first. When they talk.

No Surrender #1 Contenders Qualifying Match: Rhino vs. Steve Maclin

Maclin elbows him in the face a few times but Rhino takes it to the corner for some chops. Rhino gets the better of the battle over a suplex but it’s too early for the Gore. They go outside with Rhino being sent shoulder first into the post as we take a break. Back with Maclin getting two off a clothesline and then choking on the ropes for a bonus. A bunch of stomps set up the chinlock, followed by Maclin missing a middle rope headbutt. Rhino’s belly to belly gets two and the spinebuster follows. The Gore is loaded up but Maclin spears him down for two, setting up Heath’s Wake Up Call to give Maclin the pin at 11:04.

Rating: C+. The ending was little more than a formality as Maclin gets to run over someone else on his way to the likely World Title shot at Rebellion. Rhino got in his usual stuff before falling, which is the only way this should have gone. Decent match too as Maclin continues to shine in pretty much whatever he does.

Masha Slamovich doesn’t think Mickie James is taking her seriously enough so she’ll prove herself tonight against Alisha.

Here is Johnny Swinger, with Zicky Dice saying he has found one opponent with a record worse than theirs.

Johnny Swinger vs. Barry Horowitz

Swinger goes after the leg to start but misses a charge. Horowitz hammers away and rakes the chest, meaning it’s time for a good old pat on the back. Cue the Demon of all people as Horowitz grabs an abdominal stretch into a rollup for the pin at 2:08. This story is hilarious.

Moose, with a baseball bat, promises revenge on Joe Hendry.

Post break Moose goes after Hendry’s car but finds out that it’s Santino Marella’s. As a result, Marella gives Moose…..a Digital Media Title shot in a Dot Combat match at No Surrender. This would be the latest “sure why not” booking around here.

No Surrender #1 Contenders Qualifying Match: Heath vs. Eddie Edwards

Edwards hits a shoulder to start but Heath sends him into the corner for a splash. With Edwards bailing to the floor, Heath hits the flip dive off the apron. Back in and Edwards hits his own dive, meaning it’s time to choke back inside. The reverse chinlock doesn’t last long as Heath is back up with a powerslam for two. A spinebuster gets the same but Edwards catches him up top. The superplex into the tiger driver gets two so Edwards loads up the Diehard Driver. Cue the thunder though and the distraction lets Heath hit the Wake Up Call for the pin at 7:32.

Rating: C. More serious Heath continues to be fine and it’s cool to put him in a #1 contenders match. He even has a reason to go after Maclin for using the Wake Up Call earlier this week. On the other hand you have Edwards and…well yeah PCO is going to actually kill him at some point so enjoy him while you can.

Post match PCO chases Eddie Edwards off.

Deaner says he and Sami Callihan are facing Yuya Uemura and Frankie Kazarian next week. It’s Sami’s fifth step out of seven.

James Mitchell and the Hex are ready to destroy the Death Dollz and win the Knockouts Tag Team Titles.

Masha Slamovich vs. Alisha

Mickie James is on commentary. Slamovich starts fast and runs Alisha over with the Snow Plow finishing at 1:34. Exactly what it should have been.

Post match Slamovich stays on Alisha so Mickie goes in, only to get choked out.

Crazzy Steve says Trey Miguel’s TM logo now means That Moment when Steve took over his mind. Steve wants a shot at the X-Division Title in Monster’s Ball.

Santino Marella makes Mike Bailey vs. Jonathan Gresham at No Surrender. Dirty Dango says that next week, the two of them can team up to face the Motor City Machine Guns. With the two of them gone, Barry Horowitz comes in and says he wants the same deal as Johnny Swinger: win fifty matches and get a World Title shot. That works for Santino, who gives Horowitz Rhino next week. Actually, Horowitz will just leave 1-0 instead.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Kenny King vs. Rich Swann

King punches him down to start but Swann manages a kick to the apron. That means the running flip dive to take King down again as things settle a bit. Swann’s splash is cut off though and King drops him face first onto the turnbuckle. King grabs a backbreaker for two but Swann manages a DDT to send us to a break.

Back with Swann hitting a rolling clothesline into a running kick to the head for two. King hits a spinebuster for two of his own, followed by a powerslam for the same. The poisonrana gets Swann out of trouble and they’re both down for a bit. Swann’s big kick to the head is countered into a half crab to make Swann scream a bit. With that broken up, they trade kicks to the head for two until Swann misses a 450. King grabs a tiger driver for two but the Royal Flush is countered into a small package to give Swann the pin at 14:30.

Rating: C+. Another completely acceptable and at times good match between two talented wrestlers. The ending wasn’t in real doubt as the #1 contender isn’t going to lose, but King can wrestle a fine match with just about anyone. Swann continues to build momentum to being the challenger of the month, but doing something notable with Josh Alexander sounds like a better idea.

Post match King stays on Swann and grabs a chair but Josh Alexander runs in for the save. Swann grabs the chair and swings at King but hits Alexander by mistake to end the show. That’s something for them at least as that match has felt almost forgotten so far.

Overall Rating: B-. This show did a nice job of building up No Surrender, as we FINALLY got something with the World Title match. Other than that, the rest of the show got a boost as well, including Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer. That thing is getting dragged all the way to Rebellion so it could take some time to really do much. I liked this show, with the Horowitz stuff being a great surprise. Impact continues to roll with another good one and I’m having more fun with the show almost week after week.

Results
Kushida b. Chris Bey – Small package
Steve Maclin b. Rhino – Wake Up Call
Barry Horowitz b. Johnny Swinger – Abdominal stretch rollup
Heath b. Eddie Edwards – Wake Up Call
Masha Slamovich b. Alisha – Snow Plow
Rich Swann b. Kenny King – Small package

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling – February 9, 2023: Fare Not Well

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 9, 2023
Location: Osceola Heritage Park, Kissimmee, Florida
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

No Surrender is coming up and most of the card has been set up so far. That includes the World Title match, which has not exactly gotten a ton of hype. Maybe it is because it seems we have another challenger on the horizon, but Rich Swann challenging Josh Alexander isn’t exactly feeling huge. Hopefully they can get some more of it covered this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Matt Cardona arrives and says he’s in the main event tonight. He is shown to his private dressing room with champagne and shrimp cocktails, but it turns out this is Joe Hendry’s room. Cardona is shown to a closet instead.

No Surrender #1 Contenders Qualifying Match: Brian Myers vs. Dirty Dango

They run the ropes to start until Dango armdrags him into an armbar. Myers’ sunset flip is blocked and Dango drops a leg before they head outside. A posting cuts Dango off and of course Myers is fine to try for a countout. Back in and we hit the chinlock, complete with trash talking. Dango fights up and they collide for a double knockdown. A Russian legsweep sets up the Dirtbag Shuffle, followed by a top rope ax handle to send Myers outside. That’s fine with Myers who hits a Roster Cut on the floor, followed by another inside for the pin at 6:50.

Rating: C. I’m kind of digging the more serious Dango, who has been shifting away from a lot of the comedy and wrestling more traditional matches. As it turns out, he can do those well enough to get by and even do well in some places. Myers is a bigger name and easier to take more seriously so it makes sense for him to win, but Dango has been doing well lately.

Gisele Shaw, with Jai Vidal, messes up a few meals at catering. Deonna Purrazzo doesn’t like what Shaw has been saying lately though and throws what looks like chili in her face. Santino Marella comes in to make a No Surrender match.

Trey Miguel thinks Crazzy Steve is in fact crazy and wants nothing more to do with him. Steve’s laughter is heard and a bloody version of Miguel’s logo appears. Miguel freaks out.

Good Hands vs. Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer

Before the match, the Good Hands talk about how much they hate Florida, which is nowhere as valuable as a hand. Mickie and Hotch start things off with Mickie taking him down without much effort. Dreamer comes in to stay on the arm with James coming right back in with a top rope ax handle to said arm. Skyler comes in so Dreamer sends both of the Hands outside.

Dreamer’s dive off the apron takes both of them down again, followed by Mickie hitting a big dive of her own. The Texas Cloverleaf is on but Hotch makes a quick save. It’s Dreamer getting taken down in the corner for a hip attack but he’s right back up with a cutter. Mickie comes back in to clean house, including the flapjack into the top rope Thesz press. The MickieDT finishes Hotch at 5:22.

Rating: C. Intergender wrestling can be tricky to pull off but they made it work well here. James is one of the most successful women’s wrestlers of all time and it isn’t too much to believe that she could beat one of Bully Ray’s lackeys. Dreamer vs. Ray is still a bit much to take as one of the bigger feuds in the company, but that is where everything seems to be heading.

Post match Bully Ray comes in and decks Dreamer, allowing Masha Slamovich to come in and take out Mickie.

Johnny Swinger, with Zicky Dice, asks Santino Marella for his next match as part of his path to 50 wins. Dirty Dango, the Deputy Director Of Authority, comes in to cut off a bribe attempt but Dice knows someone Swinger can beat.

Video on Rich Swann and how important it was to him to be World Champion. He didn’t get to have fans around, but he knows he inspired a lot of people. Then he lost to Kenny Omega when AEW worked with Impact. Josh Alexander wound up as champion so now Swann wants his belt back. He has his mojo back, so now he needs the title to go with it. This was a different look at Swann and the best thing in the build to the title match thus far.

Steph DeLander vs. Jordynne Grace

DeLander was Persia Pirotta in NXT and here, she promises to be everyone’s worst nightmare. DeLander starts fast by sending her to the apron but Grace powers her way out of trouble. With DeLander on the floor, Grace hits a dropkick through the ropes for two back inside. A quick shot lets DeLander have a breather though and we hit the chinlock.

Grace is right back up though and shrugs off a suplex, setting up the dead lift German suplex for two on DeLander. The Grace Driver is blocked so Grace sends her into the corner. DeLander grabs Snake Eyes into a big boot (seems to be an Undertaker fan), only to have Grace pop back up. The Grace Driver finishes DeLander at 5:02.

Rating: C. Another just ok match in a series of them tonight as DeLander got in a bunch but wound up losing to the bigger star. Grace is going to be back in the title picture sooner than later so giving her a win, even while breaking a sweat, is a good thing. That being said, DeLander was hardly a big star in NXT and I’m not sure how much value she has coming in here. Maybe she can prove herself, and she did start well here.

Matt Cardona is still mad about having to change in a closet so he asks for another dressing room. He gets another one….which is outside.

Josh Alexander respects Rich Swann and knows that Swann only lost one match on one night. Now Swann has his chance to get back but here is Kenny King to interrupt. King wants to know why he isn’t getting a title shot but Swann comes in to say King has to earn it. Swann punches him in the face and Alexander lets them go, only to have King back off.

Killer Kelly/Taylor Wilde vs. Death Dollz

Non-title and it’s Taya Valkyrie and Rosemary for the Dollz. Taya takes Kelly down to start and it’s off to Rosemary to hammer away with right hands. A fall away slam out of the corner sets up the Upside Down as Wilde is looking at her tarot cards on the apron. Wilde comes in and grabs a quick backbreaker to take Rosemary down for the first time.

A fisherman’s suplex gives Kelly two and it’s right back to Wilde for some forearms. Rosemary manages her half of a double clothesline, which is enough to bring Taya back in. Kelly manages to take her down again but Wilde finds the devil card. That means she won’t tag in, allowing a Road To Valhalla with an X Factor from Rosemary to finish Kelly at 6:03.

Rating: C+. Impact’s Knockouts division deserves a lot of credit as they have turned it into something rather entertaining most of the time. There is some depth here and Kelly and Wilde are coming along quite well. The Death Dollz need some challengers though and I’m not sure if there is a team around at the moment to fill that spot.

Post match it’s Father James Mitchell making his return and saying Rosemary hasn’t been paying proper respect to Mitchell’s boss/her father. Therefore, Mitchell is here with a hex….in the form of the Hex, Marti Belle/Allysin Kay (former NWA Women’s Tag Team Champions). The Dollz are laid out.

Eddie Edwards wants Shera to take out PCO as an act of friendship. Edwards seems to offer money as an extra incentive.

Kushida praises the Motor City Machine Guns for their success. The Bullet Club comes in and seems to want a title shot but get a six man tag at No Surrender, with Kenta being promised as their partner.

No Surrender #1 Contenders Qualifying Match: PCO vs. Shera

Raj Singh is here as PCO hammers on Shera to start. A punch to the throat sends Shera outside to set up the suicide flip dive as the fans approve of PCO. Singh’s distraction lets Shera get in a few shots of his own but PCO, busted open, sits up and looks a bit perturbed. PCO runs Shera over while screaming about Eddie Edwards. The PCOsault finishes Shera at 3:10.

Rating: C. The match was more or less a squash and I can appreciate it going that way. There is only so much of a reason to believe that Shera was anything resembling a threat to PCO so just let him run Shera over. PCO isn’t likely to win at No Surrender, but I could absolutely see him being a challenger of the month as a wild card.

Matt Cardona is back inside and finds Brian Myers in Joe Hendry’s dressing room, but apparently it is just for the shrimp. Some people come in singing Hendry’s song and Myers claps along with them. Myers: “It’s a catchy song.”

Frankie Kazarian tries to talk Sami Callihan out of joining the Design but Sami thinks Kazarian has the sickness. The Design comes in and Kazarian issues a challenge to Big Kon.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Digital Media Title: Joe Hendry vs. Matt Cardona

Hendry is defending and refers to Cardona as Edge’s b**** before the match. He knows the people believe in him though and that’s what will be going through his head during the match. Cardona hits Radio Silence at the bell for two and the kickout leaves him livid. They go outside with Hendry hammering away and sending him right back inside.

A spinning slam sets up a delayed suplex for two on Cardona, who needs a breather on the floor. Cardona sweeps the leg on the apron and grabs a neckbreaker on the outside as we take a break. Back with Cardona choking in the corner, setting up a neckbreaker for two. Hendry tries a suplex but gets reversed into another neckbreaker for another two. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Cardona switches into a guillotine.

That’s reversed with a suplex and they’re both down for a breather. Hendry makes the clothesline comeback, setting up the fall away slam to send Cardona flying. Cardona grabs the rope so a DDT can plant Hendry for two of his own. The Reboot is blocked and Hendry cutters him for two. Another Radio Silence gives Cardona another near fall so here is Brian Myers to throw in the belt. The distraction lets Myers hit the Roster Cut….on Cardona by mistake. Myers is sent outside and the Standing Ovation retains the title at 13:02.

Rating: B-. This got rolling near the end as Hendry can wrestle a good match when he is given the chance. They might have something with him as that charisma can’t be ignored. At the same time, Cardona’s transformation from total goof into solid heel (including the physical transformation) is incredibly impressive. He feels like a star so Hendry beating him is a good step forward.

Post match Moose comes in and goes after Hendry but spears Cardona by mistake. Hendry dispatches Moose and plays Cardona’s new song again to end the show. If that’s not it for Cardona around here, they missed a golden opportunity to send him off in an all time humiliating way.

Overall Rating: C+. Impact got back on their good side this week with a solid enough show that actually made me more interested in the World Title match at No Surrender. Other than that, the Cardona stuff was rather funny as he does a great job at getting humiliated. Fun show here and, as usual, they built towards the future, which is one of their strong suits these days.

Results
Brian Myers b. Dirty Dango – Roster Cut
Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer b. Good Hands – MickieDT to Hotch
Jordynne Grace b. Steph DeLander – Grace Driver
Death Dollz b. Killer Kelly/Taylor Wilde – Road To Valhalla/Facebuster combination to Kelly
PCO b. Shera – PCOsault
Joe Hendry b. Matt Cardona – Standing Ovation

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – February 2, 2023: Who Does That Help?

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 2, 2023
Location: Osceola Heritage Park, Kissimmee, Florida
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

It’s the start of a new month and we are well on our way to No Surrender. Last week saw Rich Swann win a #1 contenders match to earn a shot at Josh Alexander later this month, but it still feels like we are coming up on Steve Maclin as the really big bad. Odds are we see more of the build this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

The setup is different this week as the camera isn’t facing the video screen, making it look more like a WWE or AEW show.

Bullet Club vs. Kevin Knight/Kushida

Knight and Ace start things off with Bey’s headlock not getting him very far. Knight misses a charge into the corner and Bey stomps him in the back, only to get caught with a springboard spinning crossbody. It’s off to Kushida to start in on the arm but it’s right back to Knight, whose springboard is dropkicked out of the air. Austin comes in to stomp Knight down for two and he kicks away at Knight in the corner. The Club starts taking turns on Knight, with Austin grabbing a chinlock.

That’s broken up and Knight dives over for the tag to Kushida. Everything breaks down and Knight and Bey wind up on their opponents’ shoulders for a slugout. With that broken up, Knight dropkicks Bey off Kushida’s shoulders (without needing ropes for a boost) for two but Austin knocks Knight down. Austin gets sent outside so Knight tries a springboard….which is pulled into a cutter from Bey onto the apron (that was SWEET). Back in and the Art of Finesse into the Fold finishes Knight at 9:25.

Rating: C+. This was the kind of match that regularly opens Impact a good chunk of the time and they made it work here. The Club has become a very nice team who can make almost anything work and they did it again this week. Beating Kushida, even without pinning him, is a big deal and I could go with the Club getting a bigger spot.

Deaner isn’t happy with Sami Callihan for losing the Golden Six Shooter last week. He failed there, but he can make up for it with a win tonight.

Steph DeLander (formerly Persia Pirotta in NXT) debuts next week.

Gisele Shaw vs. Savannah Evans

Jai Vidal is with Shaw while Evans wants to prove she can do this herself. They talk trash to start until and Evans punches her into the corner. Shaw strikes away but gets shoulders in the corner and butterfly suplexes back out of it. We take a break and come back with Evans hitting a Samoan drop into a spinebuster for two. A fisherman’s suplex gets the same but a Vidal distraction lets Shaw hit a superkick. The running knee finishes Evans at 8:24.

Rating: C-. Shaw is doing something interesting with the Black Widow thing and it makes sense for her to win here. If nothing else, she is getting more of a character and that is something that has been lacking for a long time. The match wasn’t very good, but at least it went the right way.

Post match Shaw says some people call her the Black Widow of the Knockouts Division because she gets rid of people. She doesn’t care how many people she has run off and belongs in the spotlight because she is a star.

Kenny King runs into two guys and doesn’t like that they aren’t talking about him. King steals their chips and then runs into Zicky Dice and Johnny Swinger. More disrespect ensues and King is ready to get a match with Swinger as a result. Swinger isn’t pleased, but he’ll trust Dice.

Post break Santino Marella makes a match between King and Swinger. King leaves and here is Steve Maclin to say he should be #1 contender. Marella puts him in a match to get to a #1 contenders match at No Surrender. Maclin isn’t pleased but leaves, with Dirty Dango coming in. Dango will do whatever Marella needs, but he wants in one of the qualifying matches too. Deal.

Crazzy Steve vs. Sheldon Jean

Black Taurus is here with Steve. They fight over wrist control to start with Jean taking him down by the head and getting in a kick. Back up and Steve bites him in the face, setting up some clotheslines in the corner. There’s the Cannonball and Belladonna’s Kiss finishes Jean at 2:25.

Post match Trey Miguel runs in with the spray paint but Steve takes it away and paints himself.

Jordynne Grace has her guaranteed rematch for the Knockouts Champion but for now she’ll settle for beating up Steph DeLander next week.

Santino Marella comes in to see Raven, who has an idea of how to make money for the company: make Raven the champ. Reese (of WCW fame) comes in to ask if they’re getting the Flock together. Raven: “Shut up Yeti.”

Here is Bully Ray for a chat. After a lot of booing, Ray talks about how he doesn’t think people like him. Management, the fans, the industry as a whole? None of them like him! Ray knows that the boss doesn’t like him because he wasn’t in the #1 contenders match with former World Champions. Ray: “Raise your hand if you know what I’m talking about. Now look at everybody doing what I tell them to do.” After a warning to Santino Marella, Ray shifts over to Tommy Dreamer, who has never gotten along with him. Dreamer is nothing but a phony who wants everyone to love him but that can’t happen.

Cue Mickie James to interrupt because Ray interrupted her big moment. Mickie finds it funny that Ray is calling Dreamer a politicking liar when that is all Ray does. Ray tells her to stop smiling and threatens violence before calling her a tramp. That earns Ray a slap so Ray slams her (NOT A SLAM!). Cue the Good Hands for a table but Dreamer makes the save. Violence is teased but here is Santino Marella to make Mickie/Dreamer vs. the Good Hands. That hardly seems fair.

Killer Kelly has already beaten Taylor Wilde but Wilde won’t leet it go. If Wilde wants another match, so be it. Cue Wilde, who wants to team with Kelly. The Death Dollz teleport in and the match seems to be made.

Johnny Swinger vs. Kenny King

Zicky Dice is here with Swinger, who is still trying to win 50 matches to get a World Title match. Swinger hides in the ropes over and over before bailing into the corner from the threat of a kick to the face. Dice offers a distraction but King kicks Swinger in the face anyway. The Royal Flush finishes Swinger at 1:43.

Post match King puts every champion on notice and says he’s coming for the titles.

Bully Ray comes up to Masha Slamovich and wants her to beat up Mickie James at No Surrender. Slamovich doesn’t seem to speak English.

Matt Cardona debuts a rap video in response to Joe Hendry. Apparently he’s going to take Hendry’s mom on a date. With the video over, Brian Myers reminds Cardona that he is married. No matter though, as Cardona is going to take the title.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian/Yuya Uemura vs. Callihan/The Design

Callihan seems to have lost his first name. Deaner and Swann start things off but it’s off to Callihan before anything happens. Callihan takes over and hands it off to Deaner, who gets taken down. Uemura hits a dropkick to take over and Alexander comes in, with Deaner biting him head. Everything breaks down and Kon sends Swann to the apron, where a big flip dive takes out the pile at ringside.

We take a break and come back with Kazarian chopping Angels and Uemura nowhere to be seen. Kazarian hits the springboard legdrop but it’s off to Swann, who gets taken down for a change. Deaner comes in to drop an elbow before handing it off to Kon. Uemura is back on the apron as Kon works on a nerve hold. The Design takes turns beating on Swann, including Deaner hitting a middle rope dropkick.

Kon punches the post though and the diving tag brings in Alexander to clean house. Kon and Alexander have their big showdown with Alexander not being able to hit the German suplex. Everything breaks down and Deaner counters the C4 Spike. We hit the parade of secondary finishers until Deaner pushes Uemura off the top. The Cactus Driver finishes for Callihan at 16:45.

Rating: C+. This was a weird one as they did a lot of the stuff right, but it didn’t do anything to make more more interested in seeing Swann vs. Alexander. If nothing else, this was more about Callihan and the Design, which is hardly a story that I need to see keep going. It was a completely decent, if not pretty good, eight man main event, but I’m not sure how much it accomplished.

Overall Rating: C. Kind of a weird show here as it built towards a bunch of stuff, but I’m not sure how interesting most of it is going to be. The majority of the show’s big angles were Callihan/The Design and Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray. That sounds like something you get from a random match generator rather than a regular show, but Impact has actually earned the benefit of the doubt lately. Not a bad show, but a skippable one.

Results
Bullet Club b. Kevin Knight/Kushida – Fold to Knight
Gisele Shaw b. Savannah Evans – Running knee
Crazzy Steve b. Sheldon Jean – Belladonna’s Kiss
Kenny King b. Johnny Swinger – Royal Flush
Design/Callihan b. Yuyu Uemura/Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian – Cactus Driver to Uemura

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – January 19, 2023: They Broke The Trend

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 19, 2023
Location: Center Stage, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are done with Hard To Kill and that means it is time to go through the fallout period. The big story coming out of the show was Mickie James ending her Last Rodeo by defeating Jordynne Grace to become the new Knockouts Champion. Other than that, Josh Alexander is still the World Champion, having defeated Bully Ray in Full Metal Mayhem. Let’s get to it.

Here is Hard To Kill if you need a recap.

In Memory Of Jay Briscoe, with Tom Hannifan giving a brief voiceover about thoughts and prayers being with the Briscoe family.

Long Hard To Kill recap.

Here is Mickie James to get things going. The Last Rodeo may be over but Hardcore Country lives forever…and Bully Ray interrupts. Ray tells her to get out but James tells HIM to get out. Ray: “You were not in the main event of Hard To Kill.” Fans: “YES SHE WAS!” Ray insists that HE was the main event, not he and Josh Alexander. The reality is that no one cared about this place until he got here four months ago. James says the only headline she saw was BULLY RAY TAPPED OUT!

That doesn’t sit well with Ray, but Mickie keeps going about how Bully is just a bully who politics his way to the top. She knows how he feels about women in wrestling, so if he wants to, get rid of her. Cue Tasha Steelz and Savannah Evans, the former of which wants to see Ray go upside James’ head. Steelz says Mickie started the Last Rodeo because she can’t beat Tasha Steelz, which earns her a shove from James.

The challenge is thrown out (with Ray egging Steelz on) but Evans decks James. Ray grabs the table, which draws out Jordynne grace and Frankie Kazarian for the save. Cue Santino Marella to make a match, but he has to do math to figure out the right one. Cue…..ERNEST THE CAT MILLER of all people to say that since he used to be WCW’s Commissioner, he can offer some advice. The six person tag is made, following one of the most bizarre but oddly entertaining cameos I can remember in a long time.

Mickie James/Jordynne Grace/Frankie Kazarian vs. Bully Ray/Tasha Steelz/Savannah Evans

Steelz slugs away at grace to start before it’s off to Evans, who gets sent into the corner. Grace wants Ray, but the distraction lets Evans jump her from behind. That doesn’t last long either so it’s off to James for a nice reaction. Evans drops James as well but a hurricanrana out of the corner is good for a breather. Ray pulls James down from the apron though and we take a break.

Back with Ray slamming James and laying on the mat to add the trash talk. Steelz comes back in and we hit the chinlock but Mickie is back up again. Another kick sends James back into the corner though and the beating continues. A quick roll out of the corner gets James over to Grace, meaning house can be cleaned. Ray goes after Grace, who fireman’s carries him without much trouble. Kazarian comes in and hammers on Ray but James gets the tag, setting up the top rope Thesz press to finish Steelz at 13:57.

Rating: B-. This is the kind of fun match you want to start a show with and they even wrapped up James vs. Steelz so James can get on to another feud. Kazarian going after Ray is different and now I’m curious to see where that might go. Then again, Grace fighting Ray worked in a short bit and didn’t feel weird either, which is quite difficult to pull off.

Post match here is Masha Slamovich to give James the death warrant.

Santino Marella talks to Ernest Miller in the back and talks about a six way match with all former World Champions (Moose, Eddie Edwards, Sami Callihan, Rich Swann, Rhino, Chris Sabin) to crown a new #1 contender to Josh Alexander for No Surrender. Marella goes over to Dirty Dango but Steve Maclin interrupts. He wants to know why Rich Swann, who Maclin beat at Hard To Kill, is in the #1 contenders match. The result: Dango vs. Maclin tonight.

Ashley D’Amboise vs. Deonna Purrazzo

Purrazzo hammers her down to start and works on the arm, setting up the surfboard. A suplex gives Purrazzo two and a backbreaker gives Purrazzo two, as she pulls D’Amboise up. That’s enough to let D’Amboise get in a knee and a running flip neckbreaker. Purrazzo isn’t having this and hits a powerbomb into the Queen’s Gambit for the pin at 4:21.

Rating: C. I thought they might do the whole “squash until a fluke rollup” finish so nicely done on having Purrazzo look like a killer instead. She could use a reheating after a few down months so it was nice to see her wrecking people again. Not a classic or anything, but a completely fine squash.

A nervous Gia Miller goes to see PCO in the bowels of the building. When asked what is next, PCO screams a lot and shakes the cage wall.

Trey Miguel comes in to see Ashley D’Amboise and praises her skill, but she needs to hit the gym a bit more. D’Amboise: “Thank you.” Miguel: “Was that disrespect?” They argue until 73 year old Mike Jackson comes in to issue a challenge for title match next week.

Taylor Wilde vs. Killer Kelly

They do the creepy looks at each other until Wilde armdrags her into an armdrag. Back up and they trade shots up against the ropes with Wilde getting the better of things. A suplex sets up a guillotine choke to Kelly but she’s back up with forearms to the face. Wilde shrugs that off and hits a Codebreaker but gets sent to the apron. Kelly charges and lands in kind of a jumping Pedigree (that was cool) for a heck of a crash. That just makes Kelly smile at her and fire off some headbutts to take over. A quick Wilde Ride gives Wilde two so they trade rollups, with Kelly pulling her into the Killer Klutch for the tap at 7:15.

Rating: C+. This was a rather nice surprise as I wouldn’t have bet on seeing these two have an actually compelling match. I wasn’t sure who was going to win but Wilde looked sharper than she has since her return. The good thing is pushing Kelly though, as she feels different enough to be a threat while still being fresh. Nice job with this one.

On Before The Impact, Deaner made Sami Callihan take out an injured Delirious.

Deaner says that Callihan has to go through a seven step process and he has gone through two in a row. Next week, he is in the Golden Six Shooter #1 contenders match. Step three: win the title and bring it to the Design. What exactly is step #4?

Josh Alexander tells Santino Marella that he is fine with the #1 contenders match. Gisele Shaw and Jai Vidal come in, with Shaw saying she is owed a Knockouts Tag Team Title shot but needs a partner. Various women walk by and turn her down without as much as a second thought but Vidal seems interested. I don’t think that is going to pass.

Dirty Dango vs. Steve Maclin

Maclin starts fast and knocks Dango around the ring, only to have Dango fight up and chop away. That doesn’t last long either as Maclin sends him into the ropes for a running crotch attack to the back of the head. A backbreaker gets two on Dango and we hit the chinlock with a knee in the back. Dango fights up and fires off more chops, setting up the Dirtbag Shuffle (dancing legdrop). The top rope legdrop is loaded up but Maclin bails to the ramp. That’s fine with Dango, who hits a dive to take him out. Maclin is fine enough to backdrop him into the ring though and after the spear in the corner, the KIA finishes Dango at 5:41.

Rating: C. Maclin continues his rise to the top of the title picture as it is hard to imagine anyone else getting the title shot at Rebellion. Putting Maclin over a name like Dango is going to do him some good and it seems like he is going to be around for a bit. Dango is to the point where a loss isn’t going to hut him so this went fine all around.

The Major Players are ready for the Bullet Club next week. Moose comes up and says the Majors’ issues started when they lost to Joe Hendry. After they beat the Club, they’re coming for Hendry soon.

Busted Open Radio host Dave LaGreca sits down with co-host Tommy Dreamer to talk about their issues with other co-host Bully Ray. Both are upset with him but Dreamer won’t bring up their history together, including hooking Ray up with D-Von. Dreamer says he loses matches but not a war, and he’s going to war with Ray. Does he have to?

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Kenny King vs. Mike Bailey

Pit Fight, meaning no ropes and you only win by knockout or submission. They both miss some kicks to start until King takes him down and they go with the grappling on the mat. Back up and Bailey grabs a throw, sending King down to the floor for a breather. King gets back in and kicks Bailey to the floor for a whip into the steps. Bailey is sent head first into a light on the ramp to knock him silly as we take a break.

We come back with King firing off some knees to the chest and then dragon screw leg whipping Bailey down. Bailey, bleeding a bit, kicks King to the floor for a break before striking away back inside. The cross armbreaker has King in more trouble but he powerbombs his way to freedom. Bailey is fine enough to grab another armbreaker, only to be dragon screwed to the floor again. King nails a dive and grabs a chair before dodging a kick, sending Bailey’s foot into the post.

The Figure Four goes on but Bailey is out, setting up a run down the ramp into a running dropkick to send King outside. Then, after kicking a post with his bare foot, Bailey climbs to the top of the post and flip dives onto King. Tom: “Total nonstop action here in this Pit Fight!” The Ultimate Weapon is blocked though and King spinebusters him onto the apron. A kneebar goes on as the fans find this awesome. Bailey uses the chair from earlier for the save the moonsault knees knock King silly. A stomp onto the chair onto King’s head is good for the knockout at 16:41.

Rating: B. First of all, big points for trying something different. I’m not sure how much it was needed but they did try to go outside the box and it seemed to work. They beat each other up and it felt like the big close to the feud. Ignoring Bailey’s usual horrible selling (kick pose, King works the leg, Bailey does a bunch of flips and dives) and this was fun, with the fans certainly digging the heck out of it.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the show where everyone kind of stepped back and took a breath after the huge show last week and that’s cool. Sometimes you need to just chill for a bit and let the midcard take over while setting some things up for later. The six way match should be good and we can start getting ready for No Surrender, with Rebellion off in the distance. Nice show, and it’s great to see Impact shaking the tread of bad fallout from major pay per views.

Results
Mickie James/Jordynne Grace/Frankie Kazarian b. Bully Ray/Tasha Steelz/Savannah Evans – Top rope Thesz press to Steelz
Deonna Purrazzo b. Ashley D’Amboise – Queen’s Gambit
Killer Kelly b. Deonna Purrazzo – Killer Klutch
Steve Maclin b. Dirty Dango – KIA
Mike Bailey b. Kenny King via knockout

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