Impact Wrestling
Date: December 29, 2015
Hosts: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the second half of the Best of 2015 show, meaning this one is likely to focus on Bound For Glory and the tournament. Last week’s show was kind of all over the place so it could be interesting to see what they do with this. There’s always a chance of a lot of promos for next week too. Let’s get to it.

Josh and Pope get right to the point and send us to Matt Hardy challenging EC3 to a Full Metal Mayhem match.

From August 5.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter is defending in Full Metal Mayhem, which is TNA’s version of TLC. The champ takes over early on with a chair to the back before sitting down so he can punch Matt from eye level. That earns him a Side Effect through the chair and it’s already ladder time, which goes upside Ethan’s face. The ladder is laid across the middle corner so Carter can be rammed face first as Matt is in full control.

It’s time to go up but it’s WAY too early on, allowing Ethan to chair Matt in the leg. Why would you ever go up that early on? Back from a break with Matt breaking up Carter’s attempt at the belt by sending Ethan down into the buckle. Matt isn’t done yet as he drives the ladder into Ethan’s crotch to prevent another generation of Carter’s from populating the earth. That’s still not enough for Matt to get the title so he plants Ethan with the Twist of Fate.

A moonsault through the table is broken up with a quick crotching and a powerbomb through the wood but Matt is up again with a powerbomb of his own to break up Carter’s climb. They head outside with Matt bridging a ladder between the steps and the ring, only to get slammed head first onto the ladder. Since we haven’t had enough near climbs yet, Matt makes another save and hits a Side Effect onto the apron.

A guillotine legdrop drives Carter through the table on the floor but Matt takes way too long to climb, allowing Ethan to chair him in the leg. They already have to repeat spots for the saves? Carter climbs up, shoves Matt down and pulls the title off the hook to retain at 20:10.

Rating: B. Fun enough match but there was no reason for this to involve ladders and weapons other than so TNA could have a match involving ladders and weapons. It’s their first match against each other for the title and they used the big gimmick already. Matt became #1 contender for thrown together reasons and that’s not how you want to have a major match like this. It was fun, but I have no desire to watch it again. At least Carter won on his own for a change too.

We look at Mahabali Shera splitting from James Storm.

From May 29.

Dirty Heels vs. Wolves

This is match #2 in a best of five series with the Wolves up 1-0. Roode throws Aries through the ropes for a suicide dive to start but Davey runs inside for a dive of his own on Aries. The Wolves double team Roode inside until Austin gets back in and things settle down a bit. Edwards chops away at Aries but Austin punches him in the face, setting up a tag to Roode for chops of his own.

The Heels (who aren’t heels) load up what looked like a Sharpshooter but Aries gets kicked into his partner, allowing the Wolves to double team even more. Davey puts Rode into a reverse figure four (with Roode facing the mat and Davey facing up) for a unique looking submission. The German suplex into the jackknife rollup gets two as the announcers are overhyping the heck out of this. Eddie puts Roode in a chinlock for a bit until Bobby fights up and makes the hot tag to Aries.

Austin speeds things up and snaps both Wolves’ throats across the top, setting up a missile dropkick to Edwards. There’s the Last Chancery on Davey and a Crossface to Eddie but both Wolves make the ropes. Something like Chasing the Dragon but with a Michinoku Driver instead of a brainbuster gets two on Aries but he pops right back up for the running dropkick in the corner, followed by the 450 to Eddie with Davey making the save. Another Last Chancery has Edwards in trouble but Richards comes in off the top with a double stomp for the save, setting up the powerbomb into a Backstabber to pin Austin at 11:09.

Rating: B. This was straight out of the indy playbook with the entire match being action from bell to bell. That sounds cool on paper, but between everything going all over the place and Josh telling us about two minutes in that this was a classic and something we were going to remember forever, the match kind of dulled on me very quickly. It’s definitely fun, but I prefer building up to the insane finish instead of just having it run the entire match.

Clips of Jeff Jarrett’s Hall of Fame induction.

Clips of Mr. Anderson beating Bram on August 19.

Recap of the GFW heel turn, setting up the war with TNA.

Very quick clip of Lethal Lockdown with TNA beating GFW.

Clip of Tigre Uno winning the X-Division Title.

Clip of EC3 beating Matt Hardy again to earn Jeff Hardy as his personal assistant.

Clip of the Dollhouse beating up Gail Kim in a cage.

We see Brooke winning the Knockouts Title.

Clip of Team Young winning the Hardcore War and Young stealing Chris Melendez’s leg.

We look at some of the things EC3 has put Jeff Hardy through.

Another video on Storm vs. Shera.

From September 16.

Knockouts Title: Brooke vs. Lei’D Tapa vs. Awesome Kong vs. Gail Kim

Brooke is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Gail and Brooke go after the giants to start and are quickly thrown to the side. Tapa and Kong slug it out until Brooke and Gail beat on Tapa for a bit. Kong adds a splash and we take an early break. Back with Tapa dropping Gail face first off the barricade but Kong dives off the apron to crush Tapa with a cross body.

Gail and Brooke fight in the ring until Kong misses a charge at Tapa and takes out the champ. Tapa slams Gail down inside but Kim kicks away at the knee. Kong comes back in with a top rope splash to Tapa. Brooke’s top rope elbow hits Kong and all four are down. The giants are sent to the floor, leaving Brooke to try a sunset flip on Gail, who sits down on it for the pin and the title at 12:21.

Rating: C-. Who else? Who else could it have been but Gail Kim? She fits in so perfectly with the theme of the same tired ideas that we’ve seen dozens of times in TNA as they seem to be on their last legs (the most recent time that is), so why not just put the belt on her again so she can bore the fans to sleep one last time.

We see the ending of Kim beating Kong at Bound For Glory.

Clip of the Revolution finally splitting and Shere beating Storm.

We see the end of Ultimate X from Bound For Glory.

Matt Hardy won the World Title at Bound For Glory.

We wrap things up with a five minute highlight reel of the tournament.

Overall Rating: D. Well that happened. This was even more random than last week with the tournament, as in the last quarter of the year, barely being touched on until the end of the show. I get the idea that it’s a Best Of, but they can’t even show a few matches from the tournament? Josh raved about how great Edwards vs. Richards was for a month and it gets three seconds in the highlight package? This was another bizarre set of choices, but to be fair none of that is going to matter after Tuesday when the tournament wraps up.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: July 8, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We’re officially in the Ethan Carter III era, which means tonight is going to be a big celebration. It’s going to be interesting to see where the company goes with Ethan on top, because he was clearly the next logical choice to take the title. Oh and Dixie is back. Yes, about a year after she left, Dixie Carter makes her big return tonight to either congratulate or help deal with her nephew, because the world just wouldn’t be complete without the Duchess of Darlin out there to guide us through life. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the World Title change last week. That really was the only way to go.

Here are Ethan and Tyrus to open things up. Ethan: “DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION YET??? I am the undisputed World Heavyweight Champion and the greatest living wrestler alive.” Dixie has given him free reign tonight, meaning he’s booked the entire card. Therefore, he’ll be defending his title not EC-once, not EC-twice, but EC3 times. This brings out Matt Hardy, who says he took Angle to the limit before Carter’s title shot.

If Ethan is so keen to defend the title tonight, how about Matt Hardy getting a chance? Ethan declines, because Matt may have taken Angle to the limit, but the champ took him over the limit. True actually. Instead, Matt can have a tag match, if he can find someone to replace his idiot brother. Actually Ethan doesn’t mean against he and Tyrus though, meaning it’s time for the Dirty Heels. You can see the talent departures starting to take effect already.

Matt Hardy vs. Dirty Heels

Carter is in on commentary and gets in an argument about Twitter to start. The numbers game has Matt in early trouble as you would expect with Roode dropping Matt face first in a gordbuster. Aries argues with the referee so Roode can punch Hardy in the face behind the referee’s back. That’s quite the dirty heel move.

Ethan’s mic stops working as Matt hooks what used to be called the Ice Pick on Roode until Aries makes a quick save. That earns Austin an Ice Pick but he blocks the Twist of Fate. Instead it’s a suplex over the ropes but Bobby plays Heenan by tripping the leg so Aries can fall on top for the pin at 5:01. Carter: “THEY’RE SO DIRTY!”

Rating: D+. This seems like part of Carter’s reign of terror, but at the same time it seems like it might be a way to just throw people into matches because they don’t have stories for everyone. The Heels cheating makes sense but it wasn’t a good match either way. That’s the problem with shows like this: it makes for a long night of heel dominance, which can be a chore to sit through.

Here’s the Rising for their big breakup speech. Drew promises to keep standing up for wrestling and Drake says one day he’ll show Galloway what it means for Drew getting him in the door. The team leaves Drew alone in the ring and Ethan grabs a mic and starts to cry. It’s sad to see Drew like this, but it’s even sadder that he has a 3-1 handicap match right now.

Drew Galloway vs. Khoya/Abyss/Manik

Drew is in jeans and the beatdown is on early. A clothesline and neckbreaker give Galloway a breather but a BIG Sky High powerbomb from Khoya plants him back down. Abyss doesn’t like Khoya going for the pin though, allowing Drew to catch Manik in a backbreaker. As the other two argue, a big boot to Manik’s jaw (well the mask around his jaw) is enough for the big upset pin at 2:18. Well done on mixing up the heel dominance and hopefully this leads to the official end of the Revolution.

Mr. Anderson congratulates Carter on winning the title but thinks he’d be a great option for one of those three title shots. Carter disagrees and gives Anderson a match next.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bram

Bram gets taken to the mat to start and eats a swinging neckbreaker, followed by a Regal Roll. Well the second attempt at one but it’s better late than never right? A Swanton gets two but Bram elbows out of the Mic Check. That earns him a clothesline out to the floor, only to have Bram nail Anderson with a chair for the DQ at 2:59. That was kind of pointless.

Bram keeps beating Anderson up after the match and orders the mic to be dropped, which he uses to bash Anderson’s head in, drawing some blood in the process.

Robbie E. vs. Jesse Godderz

Street fight. Robbie starts fast and takes it outside for a running flip dive off the apron. A running trashcan shot “knocks the Adonis complex out of the Adonis” (ok that was a good line) and it’s time to head inside. Robbie blasts him between the legs with a kendo stick, which is somehow a way for Josh to transition to plugging another Destination America show.

The cheap plug apparently ticked Jesse off enough that he’s able to send Robbie back first into the post, followed by a buckle bomb. It’s nice to see some basic body part work to set up a submission hold. That’s often considered too basic today but it still works just fine. Robbie comes back with a White Russian legsweep to make Jesse drop his kendo stick before sending him into a trashcan in the corner.

A reverse DDT onto the chair gets two for Robbie but Jesse crotches him on top. Jesse powerbombs him through two chairs in what really should have been the finish (Pope sounds more confused than shocked on the kickout) but instead he has to put Robbie in the Adonis Lock with a chair over Robbie’s back for the pass out at 8:30.

Rating: C+. I had a much better time with this than I was expecting to and both guys are looking great at the moment. They made a very smart move here by not having Robbie tap out. They’ve done a very good job of making Robbie seem like a potentially serious deal, though I can’t imagine Jesse getting very far with a Boston crab finisher.

Lashley wants a title shot but gets Tyrus instead.

Kurt Angle says Ethan’s gauntlet has gotten a lot more interesting.

The Jarretts say they can’t believe that they’re they’re back after everything that happened but TNA is one of the many promotions they’re partnering with. The King of the Mountain Title is going to be defended in Global Force Wrestling and other promotions around the world. That’s not much, but at least we got SOMETHING this week.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. ???

First up for Ethan is….Norv Fernum. Pope is of course aghast at these developments. A right hand and the 1%er are enough for the pin in 45 seconds.

Carter sits down in the corner and gets water. “To the body? To the body!”

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. ???

It’s Shark Boy, complete with a quick plug for Shark Week on Discovery Channel. For some reason Pope thinks this one is hilarious. Shark Boy looks about seven months pregnant. Tyrus: “You’re going to need a bigger boat.” Shark Boy gets in some offense but the 1%er takes him out in 54 seconds.

Carter is ready for the third match and here’s Kurt. Contract, rematch clause, tonight.

Lashley vs. Tyrus

Carter is on commentary again. Lashley runs into Tyrus to start but has a sleeper quickly broken. Instead, Tyrus plants him down with a side slam and drops an elbow for two. It’s hard to believe that Tyrus is in his early 40s. The guy made the big time fairly late in his career and it’s hard to fathom on occasion. Lashley can’t slam him so Tyrus throws him down with a t-bone suplex. That’s fine with Lashley who throws Tyrus onto his shoulder for an electric chair (but he couldn’t slam him?), followed by a spear to put Tyrus away at 4:46.

Rating: D+. Pretty meh match here as Tyrus isn’t exactly great in the ring. The match wasn’t horrible but it was really just an extended workout for Lashley. That’s all well and good though as he’ll likely be back in the main event scene soon enough, which is where Lashley belongs.

The end of the Jarretts’ interview talks about how his goals for Global Force line up with TNA’s and everybody wins. The real history of TNA is in the list of great names they’ve had over the years (including Don West oddly enough) and that’s Jeff’s legacy.

Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky

Before the match, Madison tells Velvet that she belongs in the crowd instead of the ring. The brawl is on because this match needed a story I guess. I’ll take it over “they were in the Beautiful People!” again though. They quickly head outside with Madison being sent shoulder first into the post. Madison grabs a northern lights suplex but has to clutch her shoulder after the kickout. Velvet shrugs off some offense and kicks Madison in the face, setting up the Stunner for the pin at 3:36.

Rating: D+. As usual, Velvet is nothing to see in the ring. Well, her wrestling isn’t at least. The division continues to just kind of meander along except for the title feud, and Velvet being near the top again isn’t something interesting. The fact that it seems like we’re headed for another Gail Kim title reign or at least feud with the Dollhouse makes it even worse. Velvet just doesn’t do it for me anymore after we’ve seen what the girls are capable of doing and that’s not good going forward.

Some TNA wrestlers were at a charity camp. That’s always cool to see.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III b. Kurt Angle

Carter, defending, immediately runs to the floor and the stalling begins. Back in and a suplex gets two on the champ and Ethan is back on the floor, demanding a faster count. Kurt goes after him this time and it’s time to roll some Germans. Tyrus gets knocked off the apron and there’s the ankle lock, but Ethan punches the referee. He taps out and Hebner calls for the bell at 3:26. That’s the bell for the DQ of course.

Rating: D. Yeah whatever. I don’t think this one really warrants a full explanation.

Post break and Ethan is still in the ring, saying he got out of that one. Now for the big cherry on top, here’s Dixie! And it’s to SILENCE. On a taped show no less. Ethan is ready for his congratulations for winning the World Title and defending the Carter name but Dixie cuts him off and says she doesn’t recognize the person she was last year. Now it’s Ethan who is out of control and OH MY GOODNESS they’re really making this all about Dixie again.

Yes, after all that time of her turning the show into a playground, we’re supposed to cheer for her because she’s seen the light or whatever. Ethan is taking over so Dixie is ready to announce a matchmaker so he’ll have to defend the title against quality competition. It’s not Dixie (thank goodness) and darlin (you knew that was coming), we’ll find out who that is next week.

Overall Rating: C-. The show wasn’t terrible but as usual, TNA doesn’t know how to let there be more than one major story at once. Above all else though, I do not want to see Dixie Carter on TV. I understand that she is the President of the company and all that jazz, but she is not an interesting character. It feels like the most forced idea in the world and something that the fans do not want to see. HHH was a monster when he left but returned in 2002 to one of the loudest pops of all time. Dixie returned after a year to crickets. What does that tell you about her?

Other than that though, there was too much packed into this show. We had two handicap matches, a street fight and a match that ended in a DQ. It’s too much in one night and that’s not something you want to do here. They need to calm this stuff down, even though they’re running out of time. Look at the Knockouts match for example. That easily could have been cut out and had it’s five minutes handed to something else. That’s where TNA doesn’t get it: they need to stop pushing everything into one show when there’s another week coming up.

Results

Dirty Heels b. Matt Hardy – Aries pinned Hardy with Roode holding his leg

Drew Galloway b. Khoya/Abyss/Manik – Big boot to Manik

Mr. Anderson b. Bram via DQ when Bram used a chair

Jesse Godderz b. Robbie E. – Adonis Lock

Ethan Carter III b. Norv Fernum – 1%er

Ethan Carter III b. Shark Boy – 1%er

Lashley b. Tyrus – Spear

Velvet Sky b. Madison Rayne – Stunner

Kurt Angle b. Ethan Carter III via DQ when Carter punched the referee

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 1, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

This is a big special show called Bell to Bell, headlined by Ethan Carter III challenging Kurt Angle for the World Title. We’re also coming off a pretty lackluster Slammiversary with the main story being Jeff Jarrett winning King of the Mountain and taking the newly created title to Global Force Wrestling. We also have a thirty minute Iron Man match for the Tag Team Titles so this is a packed show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Angle’s TNA career but tonight he’s up against someone who has never lost. It’s a simple video but it hits every point it needed to touch.

The Rising vs. Beat Down Clan

The losing team must disband, thank goodness. It’s also a 4-3 elimination match with Hernandez/MVP/Kenny King/Low Ki vs. Drew Galloway/Mica/Eli Drake. MVP and Drew get things going with Galloway kicking him in the face and hammering away in the corner. Low Ki comes in and loses some skin off Galloway’s chops. It’s off to King vs. Mica with the former taking Mica down with ease for a bunch of right hands to the head. That’s more aggression than you usually see from him.

The BDC starts taking over but Hernandez isn’t pleased that he didn’t get a tag. Ki gets a nice running start into the corner and kicks Mica in the head for the elimination. Back with Ki suplexing Galloway for two as this is very one sided so far. Drew quickly rolls over to the corner for the hot tag to Drake for some house cleaning, including a dive to take MVP down on the floor. Drake comes up favoring his knee though and it’s time for the trainers. That’s officially an elimination so it’s Galloway vs. the entire BDC.

Hernandez gets things going for his team as the Pope talks about pork chops. They chop it out in the corner (dang maybe Pope is on to something) but it’s quickly off to Ki, who accidentally kicks King in the head, allowing Drew to roll up Low Ki for the elimination, followed by a quick cover on King to get it down to 2-1. See, now that’s logical thinking and doesn’t make the whole match seem fake.

Drew gives Ki a shoulder breaker onto the steps, likely to write Ki off the show, only to walk into a Border Toss. MVP’s Playmaker (or whatever he’s calling that stupid move these days) drops Galloway again but he tells MVP to bring it, earning him a Drive By to the head for the pin at 16:45.

Rating: C. Well, at least it’s finally done. The Rising was one of the most worthless stables I’ve ever seen as they just had no reason to exist. The BDC is nothing special either but at least they seem to have a purpose. Galloway was clearly several steps ahead of his partners so getting rid of Drake and Mica is a good thing for him.

Post break, MVP is told that Low Ki is heading to the hospital for his shoulder. Oh yeah that’s his way off TV.

Here’s Magnus with something to say. He doesn’t think much of James Storm and doesn’t care that Storm’s parents didn’t give him enough hugs and kisses. That’s an image I didn’t expect to think of today. Storm played some mind games but what he forgot was the power of a man when his family is threatened. Magnus brings out Mickie James, who is totally fine after that near death thing. Mickie thanks Magnus for always being there for him because he’s the man for her.

Cue Storm and Khoya, with the Cowboy saying he’s here to talk to Mickie. He thinks Mickie should be be thanking him for not pushing her a little bit harder. Storm didn’t want her in the Revolution, but rather to prove how easy it is to manipulate a woman. He could have any woman he wanted but Mickie doesn’t seem to take too kindly to this line of thinking.

Mickie would love to take the bet that Storm can’t find one woman to be on his side, because she and Magnus will fight the two of them anytime. This was a pretty awkward exchange but at least it gets Mickie back in the ring and maybe some fresh blood in the Knockouts division. One other thing: it’s always amusing to hear the commentary reference a match happening but not being able to say who actually won.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Dirty Heels

The belts are vacant coming in and this is a thirty minute Iron Man match for the fifth match in a best of five series. I’m so glad this is it for these teams as I’m long past over caring about watching them fight. Oddly enough they say that Aries won but couldn’t say who won between Storm and Magnus.

Davey and Aries fight into the corner to start before it’s off to the partners with the Wolves taking over on Roode’s arm. Back to Aries who takes Eddie down as they’re clearly taking their time to start. An elbow to the back gets two on Eddie but he easily drives Aries into the corner for the tag. Things speed up a bit with some Wolves double teaming before Eddie suplexes Austin for no cover. Instead it’s off to Davey vs. Roode with Richards putting on a kind of reverse Figure Four.

Ever the smart heel, Aries pushes the bottom rope towards his partner for the save. The Heels (stupid meta name) take over in the corner and start working on Eddie’s leg to really slow things down. We hit the ten minute mark as the leg work continues. The Heels make a wish on Eddie’s legs but he finally snaps off a hurricanrana to make the tag off to Richards. Davey takes over and everything breaks down with Bobby getting tied up in the Tree of Woe, setting up a swan dive into the corner (cool spot) for two.

We take a break and come back with just under twelve minutes to go and no score. Richards is in trouble and Aries’ top rope ax handle to the floor makes it even worse. Edwards breaks up a cover with ten minutes to go. Davey breaks up a catapult into a forearm and stomps Roode down, finally allowing the tag off to Eddie. Edwards kicks Roode off the top and hits a backpack Stunner for a very close two. A jackknife cover gets another near fall on Roode and Eddie is stunned.

Now the catapult works with Aries adding a slingshot elbow drop for two of his own. The Last Chancery nearly gets a submission but Davey makes the save. It’s not like that move EVER WORKS ANYWAY so I didn’t get the drama. The double top rope double stomp gets a VERY close two on Aries and we hit five minutes to go. Roode plants Edwards with a spinebuster and Aries nails the 450 for the first fall with four minutes left.

The Heels get smart by throwing the Wolves to the floor to kill some time and Aries keeps up the intelligence with a suicide dive to take them both out. Eddie starts fighting back at the two minute mark and the powerbomb/Backstabber combo ties things up with about seventy five seconds left. Roode sneaks in with a belt shot to the head for two but Eddie counters the Roode Bomb into a rollup for the pin. The last ten seconds quickly run out and the Wolves get the titles back at 30:00.

Rating: B+. I’m really not wild on the feud as a whole but the last two matches were far more entertaining than the first three. This match was a really good example of a match taking its time and the wrestlers thinking instead of just throwing everything in at the same time. Really well done match here and I never once questioned the Wolves’ ability to get two straight falls near the end. That’s a very good sign and the match worked really well.

Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Brooke vs. Taryn Terrell

Taryn is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Brooke and Taryn get in a brawl to start as Kong stomps around the ring. The champ gets double teamed with Kong hitting a corner splash, sending Taryn running to the floor for a breather. Simple heel strategy at least. It’s fine with Kong who chinlocks Brooke down and then swings her around by the throat. Taryn comes back in with a dropkick to Kong but she turns around and eats a dropkick from Brooke.

There’s a chokeslam from Kong on the champ but the Dollhouse pulls her to the floor for a quick beating. Brooke hits a pretty lame spear on Taryn as Josh wants the Dollhouse gone forever. Yes because the last thing we need are three good looking women on the show. Jade hits a quick Stunner over the top rope to daze Kong, setting up the Taryn Cutter for the pin at 4:44.

Rating: D. This felt like something out of the Divas division, as the match was more about the heel champion escaping than anything about the match itself. It’s not the worst I’ve ever seen, but the Knockouts work better when there’s a bit more time for them to work with. Taryn retaining is good though because whoever takes it from her is going to look like a giant killer.

Post match the PLAYTIME IS OVER video comes on again…..and it’s Gail Kim. Well of course it is, as it’s been at least six weeks since she’s been out there reminding us how SERIOUS this is and how she’s a real wrestler. I know Kim is one of the best Knockouts ever (and probably the best ever) but she’s basically the female Dean Malenko: incredibly talented, but the charisma of a frozen turkey dinner.

It’s time for the big sitdown interview with the Jarretts. Here’s the whole thing: the last eight days were shocking, there’s a future between TNA and Global Force, and Jeff is excited about it. This wasn’t even two minutes long.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and Carter is undefeated. After some Big Match Intros we’re ready to go with the fans sounding pretty much behind the champ. Thankfully the bell rings after a break so we don’t have to miss a bunch of time after a few opening seconds. I wish WWE would figure out that mentality. The fans start the dueling chants as we have a very basic standoff to get things going.

Angle takes him down into a wristlock but is all like SCREW YOU NECK TUMOR and starts busting out the suplexes. Carter is sent to the floor and gets suplexed out there as well with Kurt in all fired up mode. Back in and Carter scores with a clothesline for one and it’s off to a chinlock. There’s the Stinger Splash, followed by a TKO of all things (always loved that move) for two. Angle misses a charge into the post and gets DDT’d (DDP’d according to Josh) on the apron.

Back from a break with Carter holding a full nelson but Kurt easily powers out because neck surgeries mean nothing to him. Both guys are down off a clothesline but it’s Kurt quickly up and busting out the suplexes. The Angle Slam is countered so it’s time to roll some more Germans. Now the Slam gets two but Carter breaks up the ankle lock and sends Kurt to the floor. Tyrus finally gets involved with a clothesline but the 1%er is countered into another ankle lock.

That goes nowhere so it’s back to the Germans because Kurt is really, really repetitive at times. Another Slam gets another two (remember that repetitive thing?) and it’s back to the ankle lock, only to have the referee get bumped on the counter. Tyrus takes Angle out and the 1%er gets two more. Well at least they didn’t go with the obvious ending. The monster tries to bring in a chair (because monsters need chairs) and gets ejected as Josh becomes a face announcer again by saying it’s the right call.

Another 1%er is countered into the ankle lock with the grapevine but Carter actually makes the rope. I can’t imagine there are more than five people that have gotten out of the grapevine version so well done there. Another Angle Slam is countered into a rollup to give Carter the title at 20:16.

Rating: B-. Well it was good, but I’m not really sure how I like Carter winning with a rollup. On one hand, I like the idea of having Carter win on a fluke, but this is going to set up another period of Angle chasing the title, which really isn’t something TNA needs to do at this point. Angle is still good, but I really do not want to see him near the World Title ever again in all of history. Still though, good match and Carter winning was the only right answer, but this really didn’t make Carter feel like anything bigger than he was before.

Overall Rating: B. Good show for the most part here but there were some major issues. The Knockouts Title match and the elimination tag were bad and boring respectfully and the Jarrett interview was more insulting than anything else. The rest was good though and it felt like a major night, but it certainly didn’t light anything new on fire.

Results

Beat Down Clan b. The Rising – Drive By to Galloway

Wolves b. Dirty Heels – Rollup to Roode

Taryn Terrell b. Awesome Kong and Brooke – Taryn Cutter to Kong

Ethan Carter III b. Kurt Angle – Rollup

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Impact Wrestling
Date: June 24, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Tonight is the go home show for Slammiversary, but it’s also a special live(ish) episode which has been built up as a big deal. However, there’s also the major show next week with the World Title showdown between champion Kurt Angle and the undefeated Ethan Carter III. It’s not really clear which of these are the biggest or which is going to take a backseat to the others. Let’s get to it.

Ethan Carter III and Tyrus arrive and have a great idea in mind for Kurt Angle’s surprise opponent.

We recap last week with Full Metal Mayhem being announced for tonight.

Here’s World Champion Kurt Angle with something to say. Carter’s road to the title stops next week, so why doesn’t he just bring out the mystery opponent right now. This brings out Carter and Tyrus with the former saying Angle looks like it’s going to take an army of 10,000 men to drag him off his mountain. However, it’s going to take one and guess who that one is going to be. Angle cuts him off and says two things are going to happen: Carter is going to tap next week and the mystery opponent is going to tap tonight.

Carter: “Tap-a-roo Kurt!” Ethan lists off all the people he’s defeated and knows he can beat anyone. “Bring forth your heroes and I will sacrifice them on my altar of perfection.” Angle says no one can help Carter next week because he’s tapping out next week. Carter teases coming to the ring but instead introduces the mystery opponent: MATT HARDY! Yeah that Matt Hardy. It really doesn’t make it any bigger of a deal when you think about it extra.

X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Low Ki vs. Grado

Tournament final so the title is vacant coming in. Low Ki slaps Grado in the face to start but Grado comes back with some snap jabs, only to get chopped back down. Tigre gets back in and is knocked down just as fast but Grado takes too much time going up top, allowing Low Ki to shove him down and hit Warrior’s Way for….an elimination at 2:24. That’s the first mention of this not being one fall to a finish. Tigre gets a quick two off a rollup but Ki kicks him down. Ki gets crotched on top though and a Phoenix Splash gives Tigre the title at 5:11 total.

Rating: C-. I feel sorry for the X-Division guys because they’re stuck with these five minute matches and no time to ever develop anything but it’s supposed to be this big deal. Tigre Uno is just another guy holding the title for a meaningless reign before the main eventers take over around Destination X time next year.

Bram takes over an interview and again calls out any former members of the roster. He leaves and someone with a big glove grabs JB’s shoulder. JB: “It’s time!”

Taryn Terrell yells at Marti and Jade for not taking care of Kong and Brooke last week. This Sunday, it’s a 3-2 handicap match, because why have a title match when you can have a match that belongs on any given episode of TV?

We run down the Slammiversary card: James Storm vs. Magnus, Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie E., Lashley/Mr. Anderson vs. Tyrus/Ethan Carter III. That’s all we have so far, plus the aforementioned handicap match.

Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love

If Velvet wins, she’s back on the roster full time. Sky takes her down to start and throws Love to the floor for a whip into the post. Back in and Angelina pulls her off the middle rope and hits Lights Out for two, setting off a lot of screaming at the referee. A Stunner plants Love for the pin out of nowhere at 5:24.

Rating: D. Yay. I mean that with full sincerity. I’m so glad that a Knockout who was nothing above average on her best day in the ring is back to take a spot and some of the spotlight away from the awesome Dollhouse act. Sky and Love stopped being interesting a few years ago when it was clear that nearly every story they were ever involved with was about the Beautiful People. Boring match here and the ending does nothing to me.

The Dirty Heels don’t remember learning about tables, ladders and chairs in wrestling camp, but think the dirtier things get, the better their chances.

Another playtime is over vignette.

MVP is back and rips on internet journalists. The war with the Rising is still on. It should be noted that these backstage segments are being shot with a really bad camera, which makes everything look like it’s about half a second slower than it should be.

Dirty Heels vs. Wolves

Full Metal Mayhem, meaning TLC but with pins. If the Wolves win they’re champions, but if the Heels win then there’s one more match. The Heels (Austin Aries/Bobby Roode) throw the weapons out before the Wolves (Eddie Edwards/Davey Richards) come to the ring. It’s a brawl to start and all four get chairs, with the Wolves knocking the Heels’ chairs out of their hands to send them back to the floor. Aries and Roode take a breather on the floor but are smart enough to raise a ladder to stop a double suicide dive.

We take a break and come back with the Heels in control and taking in seat in some chairs for stereo chinlocks. The Wolves fight up and bring in some weapons to clean house. They knock the Heels to the floor for three straight suicide dives before a trashcan lid shot/falcon’s arrow gets two on Roode. Davey wraps a chain around his boot but gets caught in the Last Chancery, only to have Edwards make a save.

Back up and a missile dropkick/powerbomb combination puts Edwards through a table for two. The Wolves toss into a kick (with the chain over the boot) gets a very close two but Aries gets caught inside a trashcan for chair shots and a double dropkick from the top. The Wolves load up Aries, still in the trashcan, for a powerbomb but Roode low blows Eddie to put Aries on top for the pin at 18:13.

Rating: B. I don’t care. That’s the problem with this series: it feels like they’re trying to copy the awesome three way tag team series last year but the matches really aren’t all that great. They’re just going through the motions and having decent matches, but there’s nothing that makes me want to watch them fight five times.

Matt Hardy doesn’t think much of Ethan Carter III and doesn’t explain why he agreed to fight for him tonight. Carter comes up and says if Hardy wants a title shot, he needs to kiss the ring. Hardy asks what happens if Carter loses next week.

And now, here are Jeff Jarrett and Karen Jarrett of Global Force Wrestling. Jeff says he’s shocked that he’s here too. A week ago, he got a message from TNA management, who asked him to come back for a match. He almost hung up there because he doesn’t even wrestle for his own promotion. However, they said it was his own match: the King of the Mountain match at Slammiversary.

It brought back a lot of memories for him, such as Kurt Angle jumping to TNA and Samoa Joe headbutting Angle and busting him open and a punk kid from north Georgia named AJ Styles becoming the greatest wrestler this company ever had. Or a team called Beer Money becoming the best team this company ever produced and Eric Young having more TV shows than Ryan Seacrest.

Over the last fourteen months, Jarrett has spent all his time building up Global Force Wrestling, but he started thinking about what his wife would think about all this. Karen talks about all the time and effort they’ve put into Global Force Wrestling, which is now their life. But then Jeff started talking about all his memories and she understood what this meant to him.

She’s still not sure why they’re here, but she knows this is what they need to be doing. This morning she was on the phone with Sonjay Dutt, and it became clear to her that her husband didn’t leave on his terms. This Sunday, Jarrett is finishing this on his terms one last time. So yeah, after all the hype for the hours before this show, it seems that it’s Jarrett coming in for one match on a nothing show and that’s it for now. Some game changer.

Bram vs. Vader

Yes, that Vader, who wrestled one match for TNA back in 2003. Vader is in workout gear and runs Bram over to start before hitting his big clothesline. More power offense sets up the Vader Bomb for two and Bram hits him in the ribs with a pipe for the DQ at 3:40.

Rating: F. Considering Vader is about 58 years old, this wasn’t bad. What is bad is the fact that they actually had Bram hit him with a metal pipe instead of pinning him like he should have done to a veteran like Vader. This dumb, dumb booking is so old at this point, but at least Vader looked fine.

Post match Matt Morgan comes out for the save and knocks Bram to the floor.

Sgt. Chris Melendez vs. Eric Young

This was set up a few weeks back when Young choked Melendez with his prosthetic leg. Young takes over to start as the announcers act like this is the biggest show in the history of ever. Young plants him with a DDT for two and gets the same off a neckbreaker. We hit a chinlock for a bit before Young tries to rip the leg off again. Melendez fights back, ducks his head and gets piledriven for the pin at 3:47. This was a squash.

Rating: D. The match sucked for the most part and I don’t like Young, but this was the only way this booking should have gone. Young is a former World Champion and spent the last month fighting Kurt Angle. Melendez is a rookie with a handicap and no important wins to his name. There was no reason for this to be a competitive match and it wasn’t in the slightest.

Back from a break with the Rising fighting the Beat Down Clan because THESE TWO TEAMS HAVE TO FIGHT FOREVER BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING ELSE THEY CAN POSSIBLY EVER DO. Hernandez returns and helps the BDC clean house.

Match #5 in the Tag Team Title series is next week. Also next week: Taryn defends the Knockouts Title against Brooke and Awesome Kong.

Matt Hardy vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title. Hardy takes over to start as Josh (incorrectly) calls this a first time ever match. Angle slams Matt down and grabs a chinlock. A quick slugout sets up rolling Germans from Angle followed by an Angle Slam for two. With both guys down, Josh announces Aries vs. Richards for Slammiversary with the winner getting to pick the stipulations for the fifth match next week. Matt misses the moonsault and gets Germaned some more, only to come back with a Side Effect. The Twist of Fate gets two but Angle countered a second attempt into the ankle lock for the tap at 6:58.

Rating: C. This was fine. Matt was a weird choice for an opponent when Carter has his own personal bodyguard walking around but almost never having a match of his own. Still though, good enough here, even though it was just trading finishers for a few minutes until they got to the ending.

Ethan Carter III and Tyrus come out but Angle fights them off and makes Carter tap to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was like TNA’s Greatest Hits in one night. Let’s see: gimmick match that didn’t need to be a gimmick match, a bunch of returns that don’t mean much, a table war that no one wants to see, a legend beating a young up and comer for no logical reason and a meaningless title change.

When the big news broke about the Jarretts being back, I had hope. I wanted to believe that something was actually going to change around here because I want it to change. I want TNA to be fun again, but instead it’s the same stuff we’ve seen forever: short term thinking with stuff like Slammiversary being treated like the least important show since…..well since their last pay per view actually.

It’s so frustrating watching a company that has so many good pieces consistently screw things up. There was so much potential over the years in TNA but they’ve spent so much time messing up everything over the years that I can’t bring myself to buy into them again. Now it seems like their time is measured in months and then….they’re probably going to hang around because Dixie can talk people into letting her get on TV and then screw up another deal, all the while wasting all the talent and potential they have. The show tried, but as usual they were going in the wrong direction most of the night.

Results

Tigre Uno b. Grado and Low Ki – Phoenix splash to Low Ki

Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love – Stunner

Dirty Heels b. Wolves – Low blow to Edwards

Vader b. Bram via DQ when Bram used a pipe

Eric Young b. Chris Melendez – Piledriver

Kurt Angle b. Matt Hardy – Ankle lock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: June 3, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re finally getting to the build to Slammiversary, which is less than a month away. Impact is now on Wednesdays as the company’s issues with Destination America continues. There is no reason that this show shouldn’t start getting us towards Ethan Carter III vs. Kurt Angle for the World Title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Carter’s rise to the top of TNA.

A barbershop quintet sings Carter’s theme song because he is FINALLY #1 in the Impact rankings. Quintet: “For he’s the #1 contender, for he’s the #1 contender, for he’s the #1 contender, which nobody can deny!” We even get balloons falling to make this feel special. After denying us a Tyrus dance, Carter says there is only one thing left for him and that is to become World Champion.

This brings out Angle, who says Lou Thesz and Verne Gagne would be rolling over in their graves if they saw this. However, there’s someone else in line before Carter can get his shot and that’s X-Division Champion Rockstar Spud, who can cash in his title for a shot at the World Title next week. Carter isn’t cool with that and says he’s got an offer for Spud. Tyrus and Carter leave and Angle Slams one of the singers. Carter was awesome here and I can’t wait to see him finally get the title, assuming TNA doesn’t screw that up too.

Lashley vs. Eric Young

Lashley runs him over to start and hits a nice delayed vertical suplex to knock some of the sanity back into Young. Eric is able to send him to the apron though for a middle rope kick to the back of the head to get a breather. Back in and Eric starts working on the neck and we hit the chinlock. Pope’s great insight on commentary here: if Young wins he’ll move up in the rankings but if Lashley wins, he’ll move up in the rankings. Eric goes up top but dives into a backdrop followed by some elbows to the jaw. A spinebuster gets two for Lashley and after easily fighting off the piledriver, the spear pins Young at 5:29.

Rating: C. It’s amazing how much more tolerable that CRAZY man is when he isn’t in the World Title picture anymore. I’m fine with Young if he’s in the right spot on the card and this is a much better fit for him. I still don’t like the character because it’s not what they say he is, but at least they’re getting the booking a bit better.

Chris Melendez comes after Young post match but Eric escapes. This is even more like it for Young, though Melendez isn’t anything interesting.

The Dollhouse giggles about keeping Taryn’s title last week and Taryn offers Kong a shot next week.

Melendez wants to fight Young. I was thinking he wanted him over for afternoon tea so thanks for the clarification.

Austin Aries suggests that Spud doesn’t cash in the title for Option C.

Jade vs. Brooke

Jade goes right after her before the bell but gets rolled up for two. A Marti Bell distraction lets Jade take over and Brooke gets kicked in the face for two. Jade powerslams her down but misses a moonsault, allowing Brooke to hit a facebuster for two. Marti tries to come in and eats Jade’s boot by mistake, setting up the Tesshocker for the pin at 3:38.

Rating: C-. Not bad here as it’s nice to see the Knockouts having a bench to go with the title scene. I’m not sure why you have Brooke win here but it’s hardly a horrible idea. You don’t want the Dollhouse looking inept though as they looked more like weak heels instead of the sinister group they’ve been so far.

Carter is about to talk about Spud but gets a phone call.

Rebel and Brooke celebrate the win. Brooke leaves and the Dollhouse beats Rebel down.

Rising vs. BDC

Drake and MVP get things going with a slugout as Josh recaps the feud. It helps a bit but I still don’t get why this feud needs to exist. MVP wins a slugout and takes Drake down so King can come in with a quick chinlock. Off to Low Ki for a dropkick to the back of the head and the fast tags continue with all three members getting their shots in. Drew finally comes in off the hot tag and nails a running boot to Ki’s face as everything breaks down. Galloway gets caught in the Tree of Woe but is able to sit up and counter the Warrior’s Way with a belly to belly superplex. A Doomsday Device of all things is enough to pin Ki at 5:42.

Rating: C. The match was fine but this feud just keeps going. I get the idea they’re shooting for here but it’s so uninteresting that it’s hard to care. The Rising doesn’t need to exist because the BDC is a midcard stable who isn’t taking anything over. Hopefully both teams split soon enough.

Mickie James is in Nashville for her meetings but only James Storm is there. This story continues to be one of the best things going on in TNA.

Rockstar Spud can’t make his decision yet but there’s no more time. With no decision coming, here’s Kurt Angle to coax him a bit. This is his thirteenth World Title and he trained harder for this one than the other twelve combined so there is no way he’s losing it. Cue Carter and Tyrus to say Spud should stay right where he is.

Ethan just got off the pone with Dixie Carter, who is willing to offer Spud a lifetime contract as Chief of Staff if he doesn’t cash in Option C. Spud talks about the Carters taking him in when he had nowhere to go. They were like brothers, but then Ethan slapped him in the face and shaved his head. This is always about Ethan, because he’s had everything handed to him. Spud has given everything to get here and he wants no part of the offer. He cashes in for next week (SHOCKING!) and gets decked in the face. Angle wants a tag match tonight.

Aries gives Bobby Roode a shirt for their match.

Back to Nashville where Mickie wants to know what’s going on. Storm says the big stars are just fashionably late and says he can give her so much more. The music will always be there, but he wants to talk about something even bigger: joining him on his journey. He wants Mickie and her son Donovan to join the Revolution. Mickie appreciates the offer but turns him down. Storm laughs it off and Mickie hugs him before they leave. Storm: “There’s a lot of crazies out there.”

Dirty Heels vs. Wolves

Match #3 in a best of five series for the Tag Team Titles with the Wolves up 2-0. Aries takes Davey down with a Last Chancery early on but it’s quickly off to Roode to crank on the arm. The Wolves get in some double teaming to take over on Roode and then backdrop the legal Aries into their corner. Roode breaks up a double dive and Aries takes out the Wolves’ knees as we go to a break.

Back with Davey breaking up a catapult into Aries and diving over for the tag, only to have Aries pull Eddie to the floor. The hot tag works a few seconds later and it’s Edwards coming in to clean house. Some rapid fire chops have Roode in trouble and the heels (who aren’t heels) are backdropped to the floor for a double suicide dive into the barricade. An enziguri into the German suplex into the jackknife cover gets two on Roode.

Aries pulls Davey to the floor, leaving Edwards to take the catapult into the forearm, followed by the slingshot elbow from Roode for a very close two. Something like Chasing the Dragon (Michinoku Driver instead of a brainbuster) gets two on Roode but Aries comes back in with a 450 to Edwards for two more. Aries dives onto Edwards and it’s time for a chair. Roode doesn’t want to use it but he’ll hit Eddie low behind the referee’s back. A chair shot on top of that is enough to pin Edwards at 13:13.

Rating: B-. Well at least they’re heels now. I’m not a fan of the matches where it’s all a huge mess after about five minutes in and the tagging is completely forgotten. It’s fine for a bit but having the majority of the match be a wild brawl gets annoying after a bit. At least the match was fun though and the ending gave us some heels in the feud.

Storm and Mickie walk along the side of a train until James knocks her down what looked to be a flight of stairs.

Here’s Madison Rayne to complain about not getting any attention around here because she isn’t putting candy in someone’s mouth or isn’t Gail Kim. She calls Velvet Sky to the ring because people who don’t work here can come through the crowd and get in the ring. Madison slaps her in the face and eats a Stunner, so here’s Angelina with security to take Velvet out. Angelina slaps Velvet before the security takes her away…..and here are more security guards to arrest Love for slapping a fan. Well played actually.

Taryn lays on her bed and promises to take care of Kong next week.

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Kurt Angle/Rockstar Spud

Spud stomps Carter down at the bell and chops away in the corner. A kick to the head drops Ethan but Spud would rather hit some running forearms instead of tagging, which allows Tyrus to grab Spud by the face. Some backbreakers have Spud in trouble and Carter makes it worse with a belly to belly. He opts to pose instead of cover though and the hot tag brings in Angle. Tyrus breaks up the ankle lock and eats the Angle Slam, allowing Spud to dive in for the pin at 6:48.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match to set up the showdown next week. Angle vs. Carter is clearly the big prize here but we need to get Option C out of the way because where would we be without that? There wasn’t much here but they didn’t have the time to get anything done. The fact that it’s for a short term title shot didn’t help things either.

Aries comes out and says he’s cashing in next week to face the winner of Angle vs. Spud.

Overall Rating: C+. This was one of their better shows in a decent while but there are still some issues. For one thing, there are way too many cash ins going on at the same time when it’s clear they’re just killing time until we get to Carter. Well either that or they’re going to do the dumbest thing they could and go with anything other than Carter getting the belt at Destination America. Good show, but too much being packed into too little time.

Results

Lashley b. Eric Young – Spear

Brooke b. Jade – Tesshocker

Rising b. BDC – Doomsday Device to Low Ki

Dirty Heels b. Wolves – Chair shot to Edwards

Kurt Angle/Rockstar Spud b. Tyrus/Ethan Carter III – Spud pinned Tyrus after an Angle Slam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: May 29, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Al Snow

After all the insanity that’s been going on behind the scenes in this company, they’re really in need for a good show to calk things down a bit. This show is being billed as May Mayhem, which is their version of a pay per view this month. The main event is Eric Young challenging Kurt Angle in an I Quit match. Let’s get to it.

Eric Young pulls up to the arena where Kurt Angle is waiting on him. They slug it out in the parking lot until security breaks it up.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

Inside a cage with Taryn defending. Gail goes right after her in the aisle and takes over before the bell. They finally get inside with Kim still dominating until Marti Belle reaches through the cage to pull Gail down, allowing Taryn to ram the ring finger into the cage to take over. Gail fights back again with ease until she tries to climb out, allowing the Dollhouse to interfere again, allowing Taryn to hit a quick Cutter for the pin at 5:20.

Rating: D. Well aside from how great Taryn looked, this was borderline worthless. At the end of the day, you need more than five minutes for a cage match. This is supposed to be some big blowoff to the feud and instead the whole thing can’t even make it to six minutes? The Dollhouse is awesome, but they played it pretty straight here, which defeats the purpose.

Post match the Dollhouse goes after Gail until Awesome Kong comes out. They manage to lock the door though, setting up the big beatdown. Taryn takes Gail’s ring off and stomps on Gail’s ring finger, apparently breaking it so the ring can’t go back on. Josh: “I know Taryn has issues we’re not supposed to talk about on air but this is going too far.”

So, unless they’re actually going to say what happened in Taryn’s marriage, this is going to be another big tease that never goes anywhere. Also, this would be more effective if they didn’t keep name dropping Gail’s celebrity chef husband, who is so famous that I’ve already forgotten his name.

Quick recap of James Storm being creepy and getting Mickie James to come back for one more match. Her husband Magnus isn’t pleased with this but that’s exactly what Storm wanted. Josh: “This isn’t PG.”

Here’s Mickie (in a very, very revealing dress) to talk about things. She can’t wait for the one more match but tonight she needs to talk about family and the heart. Magnus is her fiance, but James Storm has been a friend for years now. This brings out Storm, prompting Mickie to apologize for Magnus bashing him in the head with a guitar. James doesn’t need to hear that but Mickie insists on apologizing, even though Magnus is just trying to protect his family.

Storm insists he’s not a bad guy (has any good guy ever had to say that?) because if holding a door open for a woman or keeping her from getting attacked by Bram makes you a bad man, then yeah he’s a bad man. We hear about all the gifts James bought the family but Mickie didn’t think some of them were that funny.

James redeems himself by surprising Mickie by saying he’s set up some meetings with big names (like Billy Corgan) who want to meet Mickie and advance her career. Whatever Mickie picks, he’ll have her back. Storm leaves and Mickie tells the Cowboy (her word) she’ll see them in Nashville. There was a very subtle addition here as Storm kept inching closer to Mickie, making her back up a half step every little bit.

Kenny King isn’t worred about defending the X-Division Title in a gauntlet match.

Eric Young shows us a Tweet that we can’t see and headbutts through a window.

X-Division Title: Gauntlet Match

Why do we always need a gauntlet match or an elimination match or something other than a scheduled one on one match? There are seven people in this and another enters every 90 seconds. The first five will be eliminated over the top but when there are only two left, it’s a regular match for the win. Manik is in first and Rockstar Spud is in second and Champion Kenny King will be in seventh. Both guys go for eliminations until Manik sends him into the corner and DJZ, now with a blue/purple mohawk, is in third.

Manik gets double teamed until Mandrews is in fourth after a low less than ninety seconds. Spud and Mandrews team up on Manik but Spud can’t quite get him out, even as he bites Manik’s fingers. No one is eliminated yet and Argos is in fifth to speed things up for all of five seconds. Mandrews misses a shooting star and gets sent to the apron, setting up a kick to the face and a ram into the post for the first elimination. Crazzy Steve is in sixth as we take a break.

Back with Tigre Uno, who entered sixth during the break, being eliminated. Kenny King comes in seventh and the final group is everyone other than Tigre Uno. A big kick to the head drops Manik and another kick does the same to Young. Steve gets in a few shots and chokes over the ropes, only to get superkicked out to put us at five. Argos gets kicked to the floor for an elimination, followed by Spud jumping on King’s back. He manages to avoid elimination but eats the Royal Flush.

DJZ gets back up with a belly to back suplex into a facebuster on King, only to get backdropped out by Manik a few seconds later. Down to Manik, Spud and King with Manik offering an alliance with the champ. Spud is tossed to the apron but Manik jumps King from behind, only to be thrown out with an assist from Spud to get us down to the singles match. King chops Spud down and rips at his face but the Royal Flush is countered into a small package to give Spud the title at 16:48.

Rating: D+. So here’s one of TNA’s major troubles explained in one match. This was a major title match and had no build, no hype, and nothing interesting. There was no drama to anything here as the people came in and were eliminated before we got down to the final two for a very quick match with Spud winning. There was no reason to care about this and it a lot of that is due to how the match was booked instead of the action. The wrestlers didn’t have time to do anything and it caught up with them quickly.

Dirty Heels vs. Wolves

This is match #2 in a best of five series with the Wolves up 1-0. Roode throws Aries through the ropes for a suicide dive to start but Davey runs inside for a dive of his own on Aries. The Wolves double team Roode inside until Austin gets back in and things settle down a bit. Edwards chops away at Aries but Austin punches him in the face, setting up a tag to Roode for chops of his own.

The Heels (who aren’t heels) load up what looked like a Sharpshooter but Aries gets kicked into his partner, allowing the Wolves to double team even more. Davey puts Rode into a reverse figure four (with Roode facing the mat and Davey facing up) for a unique looking submission. The German suplex into the jackknife rollup gets two as the announcers are overhyping the heck out of this. Eddie puts Roode in a chinlock for a bit until Bobby fights up and makes the hot tag to Aries.

Austin speeds things up and snaps both Wolves’ throats across the top, setting up a missile dropkick to Edwards. There’s the Last Chancery on Davey and a Crossface to Eddie but both Wolves make the ropes. Something like Chasing the Dragon but with a Michinoku Driver instead of a brainbuster gets two on Aries but he pops right back up for the running dropkick in the corner, followed by the 450 to Eddie with Davey making the save. Another Last Chancery has Edwards in trouble but Richards comes in off the top with a double stomp for the save, setting up the powerbomb into a Backstabber to pin Austin at 11:09.

Rating: B. This was straight out of the indy playbook with the entire match being action from bell to bell. That sounds cool on paper, but between everything going all over the place and Josh telling us about two minutes in that this was a classic and something we were going to remember forever, the match kind of dulled on me very quickly. It’s definitely fun, but I prefer building up to the insane finish instead of just having it run the entire match.

Kenny King can’t get hold of MVP and wants him to call back.

Here’s Angelina Love to deal with Velvet Sky, who is sitting in the audience. Love brings out her own personal security to deal with Velvet if she tries anything. She screams at Velvet (with a voice that Vickie Guerrero would find annoying) and tells her to try something, of course drawing Velvet over the barricade for a quick beating until security pulls her off. Sky beats up security and goes after Love again until she’s handcuffed and taken away.

Mr. Anderson is very happy to not have Tyrus around for his match with Ethan Carter III tonight.

Ethan Carter III vs. Mr. Anderson

Anderson has a one man cage to lock Tyrus inside, guaranteeing that it’s one on one. Amazingly enough, Tyrus doesn’t want to go in so Anderson goes after him, allowing Carter to ram him face first into the cage. Back in and a quick suplex gets two for Carter as Snow challenges Dixie Carter to a street fight. A running clothesline gets two more on Anderson but he throws Carter through the ropes and into Tyrus, who still isn’t in the cage. Anderson nails Tyrus with a chair a few times to FINALLY get him in the stupid cage.

They slug it out back inside with Anderson taking over with the usual. A powerslam and backdrop get two each but Mr. gets crotched on top, setting up a TKO for two. Carter hits a Stinger Splash (complete with shout) but the 1%er is countered into a Regal Roll and Swanton for the same. The Mic Check connects for two and Anderson is stunned. He loads up another but Carter counters into a 1%er for the clean pin at 8:00.

Rating: C-. That’s a pretty clear ending to the feud, but my goodness TNA needs to slow down. This match started with a flurry with the Tyrus stuff then was just trading big moves for a few minutes until Carter won. They have to speed through everything on every show because they need to get so much stuff in. Calm down a bit and spread some stuff out so that stuff like this can have time to breathe.

Anderson offers a handshake but Carter shoves the hand away. Tyrus is left in the cage.

Rockstar Spud is very, very happy to be a two time champion. He hasn’t even had time to think about Destination X and Option C yet but maybe he needs a new goal.

TNA World Title: Eric Young vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and this is an I Quit match. Both guys come out with security after being separated all night in another idea that didn’t go anywhere. Angle goes right at him to start and they’re slugging it out a minute in. Eric tries to jump over him in the corner but gets caught in rolling Germans to knock him even sillier. He won’t quit though so Kurt rolls even more Germans, only to be sent to the floor as we take a break. Back with Young slapping on a Figure Four for a bit until Angle turns it over, sending Young to the ropes.

Eric can’t get an Angle Slam so he puts Kurt in an ankle lock with a grapevine, only to have Kurt reverse into something resembling a Figure Four. More ropes are grabbed so Young goes up, only to dive into the real ankle lock. Young taps so Angle lets go, but Young never said I Quit. The distraction lets Young hit a low blow and piledriver. Still no quitting so Young loads up another piledriver, only to be countered into the ankle lock with the grapevine to retain Angle’s title at 13:10.

Rating: C-. Raise your hand if you expected ANYTHING but that as the ending. That’s where this match and feud died with me: no one in their right mind thought Young was winning the title at any point in this feud and that makes for some very dull matches. The match was watchable, but my goodness don’t let this feud keep going any longer and get Young down the card where he belongs.

Overall Rating: D+. This one didn’t do it for me. They were flying through every possible thing they could get through tonight and it made the show a lot weaker than it should have been. The matches were good while they lasted, but none of them had time to set up any kind of story or psychology, which really kills the show.

We’ve got a few weeks before Slammiversary and then just a few weeks before Destination X and then a few months before the show is probably getting kicked off the air because not enough people watch it. Could it be because they rush through hastily announced gimmick matches like these and don’t let anything have a proper build because they have to get through everything they can when they have two pay per views a year and seemingly could do things at whatever pace they want? This was an action heavy show but the lack of a foundation takes away anything good they had set up.

Results

Taryn Terrell b. Gail Kim – Cutter

Rockstar Spud won a gauntlet match, last eliminating Kenny King – Small package

Wolves b. Dirty Heels – Powerbomb into a backstabber to Aries

Ethan Carter III b. Mr. Anderson – 1%er

Kurt Angle b. Eric Young – Ankle lock

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