Monday Night Raw
Date: October 29, 2007
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Cyber Sunday and on the way to Survivor Series, which means things can get a bit more back to normal around here. The big Raw story was that Randy Orton retained the WWE Title over Shawn Michaels after getting himself disqualified, which means we are probably heading for a rematch. Let’s get to it.

Here is Cyber Sunday if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Divas Battle Royal

Victoria, Kelly Kelly, Maria, Mickie James, Torrie Wilson, Kelly Kelly, Brooke, Melina, Jillian Hall, Michelle McCool

Most of the entrances are edited off of Peacock (music I’m assuming) and they’re all in Halloween costumes here. Layla (cop) is eliminated first as Victoria rolls wild in her sumo (read as fat) suit. The bottom rope Banzai drop crushes Brooke (jungle girl) to get rid of her and Michelle tosses Jillian (Brittney Spears), only to have Melina eliminate Michelle (Eve).

Melina (showgirl) and Mickie (Native American warrior princess) go to the apron with Melina eliminating both of them at once. Torrie Wilson uses her football helmet to run Victoria over as JR tries to find out if Victoria is in her suit alone. Kelly (gangsta) dumps out both Torrie (Philadelphia Eagle) and Victoria for the win.

Rating: D. What were you really expecting here? There was no reason for the match to take place other than to have the women out there in their outfits, which we had seen the night before at the pay per view. Kelly winning is a bit of a surprise, but she is the kind of woman that WWE would love to push to the moon if she can do anything in the ring at the moment.

Post match Beth Phoenix comes in to lay Kelly out.

We look at Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels from last night.

Here is Shawn Michaels for a chat. Shawn is thankful to everyone who voted for him last night but he didn’t win the WWE Title. He has heard a lot of people talking about their grapefruits, but HBShizzle is going to be honest with you: you have to have pinpoint accuracy to hit his. What maters is that he won the match though, and now he his getting a rematch. He wants it tonight, but here is Vince McMahon to interrupt.

McMahon knows that people want to see him be the champion again and Vince seems to like the idea too. He knows what Shawn really wants is revenge though because, despite that Bible reading, Shawn is a rotten man. Shawn admits that he spent four years wanting revenge, which he swore he would never do when he went home in 2002.

Now he wants to hurt Randy Orton and take him out, so does he have his rematch or not? Vince says Survivor Series is an appropriate name, and says the match is on without saying what he means. Then Shawn teases a superkick to Vince, who falls down in fear. Kind of an odd segment but more to come I’m sure.

You can vote for the Diva Search winners!

Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Holly and Shelton start things off with Benjamin taking him down for some shots to the head. It’s off to Haas, who gets chopped rather loudly before the villains take over again without much trouble. Holly gets in another shot though and the hot tag brings in Cody, who comes in off the top with a clothesline. Cody blocks Haas’ DDT and hits one of his own for the fast pin. Holly still doesn’t seem convinced.

Candice Michelle has broken her collar bone in a horrific injury. It is so bad that we look at it again just so you don’t forget about the whole thing.

Beth Phoenix cuts off Todd Grisham and says she has no regrets over what she did to Candice Michelle last week. Then this week, the Divas were out there in their costumes because no one takes this stuff seriously. Candice can go back in Wisconsin, knowing that she was destroyed by the Glamazon.

Trevor Murdoch is reading the 500th issue of WWE Magazine when Mickie James comes up. She thanks him for not letting Lance Cade clothesline her last week, but Murdoch doesn’t like seeing an innocent girl get hurt. Mickie: “I’m not that innocent.” Cade comes up and, after Mickie leaves, gets on Murdoch for not having his head in the game.

William Regal is in Vince McMahon’s office and recaps Vince’s issues with HHH and Shawn Michaels. Vince says his issues with HHH is personal, which brings him to Hornswoggle. Regal brings Hornswoggle in and leaves Vince to talk about how he hasn’t been around Hornswoggle enough. Tonight, Hornswoggle has to face Coach and Vince wants the family honor upheld. Hornswoggle needs to learn how to deal with victory, because it is his family’s birthright. If he is a McMahon, he needs to start to hate and he needs to start tonight. Hornswoggle starts grunting and shouts as he runs off.

SAVE US!

Hornswoggle vs. Jonathan Coachman

Hold on though as we need a guest referee, which brings out Mick Foley. Coach charges but Foley gets in his way, allowing Hornswoggle to run around a bit. Hornswoggle goes to the leg but Coach grabs him by the beard. That’s broken up as well and Hornswoggle knocks him down, only to miss the bottom rope elbow. Coach hits Foley out of frustration and grabs a chair, only to have Foley knock him down. Hornswoggle has his own Mr. Socko and grabs Coach between the leg, allowing Foley to add a clothesline. The Tadpole Splash finishes for Hornswoggle.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t good but at the end of the day, what are you expecting here? They played up the comedy and had Foley here to even things up a bit. You don’t need to do anything beyond the obvious here and it was perfectly fine, even if the match was barely there aside from the comedy stuff.

HHH, in a rather hideous shirt, is almost depressed by Todd Grisham’s pep talk before the handicap match against Umaga and Randy Orton tonight. The odds are against him but he has an ace up his sleeve, so if he goes down, they’re coming with him. They’re two of the worst in the game, but he is the Game.

Lance Cade vs. Paul London

Trevor Murdoch and Brian Kendrick are here too. London hits a quick crossbody for two but gets caught in a belly to back suplex. Cade sends him to the apron, with London coming back in with a springboard crossbody. A Murdoch distraction lets Cade hit his sitout spinebuster for the fast pin.

Post match the Highlanders come in and beat down London and Kendrick before glaring at Cade and Murdoch.

Jeff Hardy/DH Smith vs. Carlito/Mr. Kennedy

Smith is being thrown into the deep pretty quickly. Hardy and Kennedy get things going with Kennedy grabbing a headlock. That earns him a heck of a clothesline but Kennedy pulls Hardy into the corner so Carlito can come in. Some shoulders to the ribs don’t do much for Carlito as Hardy kicks him down and grabs his leg trap cradle for two. Smith comes in and gets chopped in the corner, only to come back with a clothesline to send Carlito outside. Kennedy joins him thanks to Hardy and the good guys pose as we take a break.

Back with Smith fighting out of an Indian Deathlock but getting pulled back into the corner so Kennedy can stay on the leg. Kennedy draws in Hardy to get in a few more leg shots because he knows how to villain. Smith manages an enziguri though and the hot tag brings Hardy in to start cleaning house. The Whisper in the Wind gets two on Carlito with Kennedy having to make the save. Smith drops Kennedy though and it’s the Twist of Fate into the Swanton to finish Carlito.

Rating: C. Pretty basic tag formula here but they have thrown Smith straight into the middle of the midcard and he hasn’t looked bad so far. Granted I don’t know how far you’re going to go with the name DH Smith but playing into the British Bulldog relation and then giving him some wins is a good way to start. Now do something with it, as you can always use some fresh blood.

Here is Santino Marella for a chat. He wants to make a formal complaint to the WWE travel department, who screwed up and prevented him from showing up and giving Steve Austin a piece of his mind. At least his in-flight movie wasn’t the Condemned! Cue Steve Austin…..’s music, as Marella pops up on screen doing an Austin impression and offering to beat up Marella with a can of the a** whip.

Cue Maria to say that Austin (originally described as “he”, prompting Santino to tell her to not use pronouns) is going to be here next week (which receives NO reaction in an odd moment). Marella accuses her of being on internet chat sites again, because the only place you’ll see Austin is on the cover of the Condemned in the discount bin at the gas station.

Here are the Diva Search finalists. Eve wins and is rather happy. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to have this on a show about how the viewers had control?

SAVE US, now with “19_LAUNCH” and “BREAK THE CODE” visible.

Randy Orton/Umaga vs. HHH

Non-title. HHH and Umaga start things off but an Orton distraction means HHH has to split his time. A jumping clothesline drops Umaga but he’s right back with some right hands in the corner. Umaga hits the Samoan drop on HHH and the double teaming is on….so here is Shawn Michaels for the DQ and the save.

HHH and Shawn clean house, likely setting up a tag match next week.

We cut to Vince McMahon and William Regal in the back, with Vince saying DX is back next week for one night only.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a lame way to come off a pretty good pay per view, though Survivor Series in just a few weeks should be an upgrade. There wasn’t much to see on the show, as they didn’t have anything noteworthy in the ring and McMahon going after HHH feels a bit tired. Next week looks stacked though so maybe this is just a bad one off week. At least I hope it is.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: October 26, 2007
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before Cyber Sunday and if Raw and ECW are any indication, this show might be a bit rough. You can only get so far with the focus being on setting up a stipulation or decision that you don’t find out until the pay per view, but at least with the World Title match it is only about the referee. Maybe this one will work a bit better. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with the VIP Lounge with Matt Hardy as his co-host (Matt: “What’s up homie?”) and Finlay and Rey Mysterio as his guests. MVP asks for things to stay calm but Finlay talks about beating Rey up time after time. He brings up the possible stipulations at Cyber Sunday, including stretcher match, No DQ or Shillelagh on a Pole. Rey brings up MVP having to face Matt Hardy in an MMA fight, a boxing match or just a wrestling match. MVP doesn’t want to hear it and talks about the upcoming tag match tonight. Rey and Finlay, partners tonight, get in a fight though and we wrap it up.

Batista looks at a clip of his interview with JBL last week where JBL called him a coward and got beaten up. He’s cool with anyone as referee as long as they stay out of his way. He is NOT afraid of Undertaker and there is a first time for everything, including him beating Undertaker.

Kane vs. Mark Henry

Kane has bad ribs coming in thanks to Big Daddy V on ECW. Henry drops him with a headbutt to start so Kane tries a slam. That just leaves the bad ribs open so Henry can hammer them down and the bearhug goes on. The ribs are driven into the corner but Kane is right back with the chokeslam for the fast pin.

You can vote for Mick Foley to referee Undertaker vs. Batista so here’s a look at him.

We look at the final Diva Search competition and here are both women to tell us why you SHOULDN’T vote for the other one. Apparently Eve Torres looks too much like a man and there is only room for one Brooke in WWE.

SAVE US!

MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio/Finlay

Non-title. Matt and Finlay start things off with Finlay being driven into the corner. That means a tag off to Rey so Matt works on his wrist. MVP comes in and gets taken down with a running headscissors and it’s right back to Matt vs. Finlay. It’s Matt being put on the mat this time and Rey comes back in, only to get stomped in the corner. MVP kicks Rey to the floor where Rey comes up limping, meaning Finlay has a target back inside.

Rey is fine enough to kick him down, allowing Finlay to come back in and sit on MVP’s back. MVP faceplants Rey so Matt can come back in but both teams get in a fight as we take a break. Back with MVP and Finlay squaring off but Rey won’t take Finlay’s tag. Rey comes in a few seconds later and hits the running legdrop as JBL brings up the Killer Bees for the first time in about twenty five years.

Matt comes in and gets caught with a hurricanrana, which busts him WAY open. The Side Effect plants Rey but he’s able to bring Finlay in to go after Matt’s busted head. On the other hand, Rey can’t bring himself to hit him but he can go after MVP. A double 619 drops Matt and MVP, only to have Finlay hit Rey with the Shillelagh. The Playmaker gives MVP the academic pin.

Rating: C. This was a weird one as the match was designed to set up the two singles matches at Cyber Sunday, though since they are going to be happening no matter what and the stipulations don’t tie in here. Then they tried to have a regular match on top of that, making this a bit hard to pull off. It wasn’t bad, but I was hoping they would pick something and stick with it instead of doing everything.

Video on Batista vs. Undertaker.

Armando Estrada is happy with Vickie Guerrero’s efforts on the Smackdown/ECW working relationship. Tonight, it’s an ECW triple threat and he has to get things ready. Jamie Noble comes in and begs for an easier night. He suggests Vickie is, ahem, lonely and she seems into it…before giving him Batista tonight. Noble: “YOU’RE VIOLATING MY BODY!” Then he imitates Batista’s pyro and yells a lot.

Batista vs. Jamie Noble

Non-title. Spear, spinebuster and Batista Bomb finish in about a minute.

Post match Batista goes after JBL and slams his fist on the announcers’ table but JBL no sells it.

You can vote for Steve Austin to referee Undertaker vs. Batista so here’s a look at him.

Batista has a book.

Miz vs. John Morrison vs. Big Daddy V

Matt Striker is here with V, who throws them into the corner for the big double splash (JBL: “THE RING MOVED!”). They head outside where Miz and Morrison avoid a charge to send V into the post for a change. That leaves Morrison to kick Miz in the head for two but Miz snaps him throat first across the top. V is back up with a clothesline to take Miz’s head off, setting up a Samoan drop on Morrison. The spinning Boss Man Slam plants Miz and the big elbow is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. What is there to say here? The match wasn’t good and it wasn’t long but the monster crushed the other two as he should have. V shouldn’t be breaking a sweat against almost any two and he did well here, though ECW has made Miz the favorite for the title shot by default.

Raw Rebound.

Jesse and Festus vs. Joe Hennig/Steve Fender

It is the genesis of Hennig’s WWE career. Festus runs over Fender to start as JBL tries to figure out what might have happened to Festus during his childhood. A Rocket Launcher finishes for Jesse in less than a minute.

Cyber Sunday rundown.

JBL is in the ring to explain why we should vote for him in a landslide. He brags about how rich and powerful he is and asks about why you would want a stuntman or a beer drinker as referee. We get a campaign style ad on why we should vote for him, because he has never pulled a gun on his boss like Steve Austin, or thrown himself off a rooftop like Mick Foley.

Some lackeys bring out VOTE FOR JBL shirts, which are given out to Michael Cole, Lilian Roberts and the ring announcer, whose name JBL can’t remember. As for now though, Undertaker can come out here and get his own shirt. After JBL chants his own name, here is Undertaker to cut him off. Undertaker takes his time but eventually JBL offers him a shirt. JBL hits his catchphrase and gets chokeslammed but here is Batista to spear Undertaker to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t working for me again and that comes from the same problem that has been around for the last few weeks: we’re focusing on the things that don’t change much about the match rather than the matches itself. This show was more about JBL being the referee with the Undertaker vs. Batista stuff being added in at the end. The rest of the show wasn’t exactly interesting either and they really need to move on to a traditional build soon, because this doesn’t work very well.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 22, 2007
Location: Qwest Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Cyber Sunday and…well to be fair I’ve missed a few weeks so I have almost no idea what is going on at the moment. The big story on the Raw side is Randy Orton defending the Raw World Title against Shawn Michaels, Jeff Hardy or Mr. Kennedy. Odds are this week is going to be about moving us closer to the inevitable so. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Mr. Kennedy is in the ring to get things going. He knows there is a decision for the fans to make about this Sunday so let’s look at the candidates. First up, you have Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy, who is like Hilary Clinton. They have the blond hair and the famous last name, but just like Clinton, Hardy won’t be able to get the job done because he has no testicular fortitude. Then you have Shawn Michaels, who is like Rudy Giuliani. They both talk well and have a resume, but they both live in the past.

What has Shawn done for him lately? Whatever it is, it is nowhere near as impressive as what Kennedy has done. Kennedy lists off everything he has done in the last year or so and kind of quotes John F. Kennedy, asking what you can do for him. Cue Jeff Hardy in the crowd though, where he has found out that Kennedy’s approval rating sucks. Kennedy says Hardy doesn’t want to get into this with him, but the fans seem to think otherwise.

Hardy lists off Kennedy’s failures, which would include failing at Cyber Sunday too. Kennedy goes to leave but Hardy gets the vote to go beat him up right now. The fight is on but Randy Orton runs in as well, meaning the villains can take Jeff down. Shawn Michaels runs in and we probably have a tag match later tonight. Orton and Shawn fight off, leaving Jeff to clear Kennedy out.

Mickie James/Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Melina

London headlock takeovers Cade down to start before going to an armbar. Mickie and Melina come in for a double hair takedown so it’s quickly off to Kendrick to slug away on Murdoch. Cade drops Murdoch down into a legdrop on Kendrick but a kick to the head allows the hot tag to London. Everything breaks down and Cade clotheslines Murdoch by mistake. London adds a running shooting star press for the pin.

Rating: C. This didn’t have the time to get very far but I can always go with tying two feuds together into one match. If nothing else, it was an excuse to have Melina vs. Mickie without actually having the two in a singles match, as Cade/Murdoch vs. London/Kendrick has kind of been done to death at this point. Way too short to be worth much though.

The Diva Search girls did an interrogation competition on the beach. Remember when wrestlers worked on this show?

Shawn Michaels comes in to see Jeff Hardy and talks about how much he needs to face Randy Orton at Cyber Sunday. Hardy suggests that the fans might want champion vs. champion though. Various threats seem to be made, even though they’re partners tonight.

Cody Rhodes is reading WWE Magazine when Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas come in to make fun of him for losing to Hardcore Holly. Rhodes says at least Holly looks good with blond hair, so Shelton is ready to face him tonight. Benjamin says after the match, he’ll dye Cody’s hair so he can be a thinner, less talented version of his old man. Haas: “Oh snap!”

Coach is with William Regal, who isn’t sure about making Coach vs. Hornswoggle. After some recapping, Regal does make the match, but Coach has a better idea: Hornswoggle vs. Umaga. Sure.

Cody Rhodes vs. Shelton Benjamin

Charlie Haas is here with Benjamin. Cody gets taken down to start with Benjamin going right after the leg. The comeback is cut off with a shinbreaker but Cody grabs a bulldog out of the corner for two. Haas’ distraction completely fails as Cody reverses a rollup into one of his own for the fast pin.

Post match the double teaming is on until Hardcore Holly runs in for the save. Holly seems a bit impressed.

Here is the debuting DH Smith, the son of the British Bulldog, who is dedicating his first match to his father.

DH Smith vs. Carlito

Carlito goes after the arm to start but gets taken down into a jackknife cover for two. An overhead belly to belly gives Smith one but Carlito is back with a springboard dropkick for two of his own. The double arm crank goes on before a springboard elbow drops Smith again. That doesn’t make much of a difference as Smith is back with a running powerslam for the pin.

Rating: C-. Another match that didn’t get much time, but in this case that isn’t a terrible thing. Smith got to go in, beat up Carlito, and get out before anyone could see anything wrong with him. That’s a nice way to debut, as Carlito still has a bit of value to him. Granted the name DH Smith isn’t going to do him any favors, but he was good enough here.

Candice Michelle and Beth Phoenix have a weird staredown, with Phoenix promising to make her get on her knees and worship. Michelle promises to get the title back.

We recap Hornswoggle blowing up Coach last week, complete with comedic sound effects.

Hornswoggle vs. Umaga

Hold on as Hornswoggle runs off, with HHH taking his place. The big brawl is on with referees having to break it up but not doing the best job. Eventually the two are separated, only to have HHH break through again. No match obviously.

Post break, Umaga is surrounded by agents and referees and yells a lot.

Todd Grisham is on the stage and introduces us to the three Diva Search finalists. Lena is eliminated, leaving us with Eve and Brooke. They both get thirty seconds to hype themselves up for next week’s finals, which involves shouting about Omaha a lot.

Randy Orton comes in to see Mr. Kennedy, who can be his partner tonight but no one is going to vote for him because bad guys don’t win. Kennedy agrees they can be partners but he might have to make a statement after the match. See you out there…..partner.

Santino Marella vs. Ron Simmons

Maria is here with Santino, who doesn’t like not being mentioned in the 500th issue of WWE Magazine. MANTAUR is even mentioned….and we’re cut off by the SAVE US video. Santino thinks that might have been Steve Austin, who must be comfortable at home, watching himself in the Condemned. If Austin ever does show up, Santino will open a can of the a** whip. Simmons comes in and hammers away but Santino gets in a shot of his own for two. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Santino kicks him low for the DQ.

HHH doesn’t care what kind of a match he has with Umaga on Sunday because tonight, he saw doubt in Umaga’s eyes. On Sunday, he’ll see fear, because no matter how the voting goes, it’s time to play the game.

Women’s Title: Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix

Phoenix is defending in a 2/3 falls match. They lock up to start until Beth sends her out to the apron. A hurricanrana gets Candice out of trouble but Beth grabs her by the throat and drops her down for the first fall. We take a break and come back with Beth putting on something like a Liontamer.

Candice slips out and the slugout is on, setting up a discus lariat for two. A spinwheel kick gets the same so Candice goes up, only to get knocked down…where she lands on her face. You can hear the crowd go quiet as Beth drags her out of the corner (which is a REALLY STUPID IDEA) and pins her (with the referee audibly telling Candice not to kick out) to retain. Not enough shown to rate due to the injury and the break but I can’t imagine this was going to be anything but Beth retaining. The injury looked horrible though and that is probably going to put Candice on the shelf for a long time.

Beth leaves and Candice gets treatment but can’t stay sitting up. A stretcher takes her out, due to what would wind up being a broken collarbone.

Jeff Hardy/Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy/Randy Orton

Shawn and Kennedy start things off with Shawn shrugging off some chops in the corner. It’s quickly off to Jeff to work on Kennedy’s arm, setting up a middle rope elbow to the back. The charge in the corner misses though and Orton comes in to pound away with some right hands. A clothesline gives Orton two but Hardy kicks Kennedy in the face and dives over for the tag. Some of the house is cleaned but Shawn gets taken into the wrong corner so Orton can take over again.

Kennedy comes back in and grabs the seated abdominal stretch for a little longer than you might have expected. Back to back backbreakers give Kennedy two and an elbow to the face gets the same. It’s back to Orton for the slow stomping and a knee to the back keeps Shawn down. Orton pulls him into a chinlock with a bodyscissors but Shawn fights up with an enziguri. The double tag brings in Hardy and Kennedy with the pace picking up. Everything breaks down and Shawn slingshots down onto Orton, leaving Hardy to Twist Kennedy’s fate. The Swanton gives Hardy the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a bit above average main event style tag match and that shouldn’t be a surprise. I don’t think there’s any secret to the fact that Shawn is getting the title shot on Sunday so the ending was little more than misdirection, but they had a good match on the way there. Kennedy just kind of exists to give Orton a partner, but they had worse options.

Post match Shawn superkicks Orton to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Cyber Sunday is such a weird show to build towards as WWE doesn’t really have matches to set up. Instead, you have a bunch of options to pick from, which makes for some odd final shows. The fact that this one included an injury and more Hornswoggle shenanigans and it wasn’t exactly a great way to get me into the pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: July 28, 2006
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re done with the Great American Bash and the big story coming out of the show is King Booker defeating Rey Mysterio to end one of the weakest World Title reigns in recent memory. It would seem that all roads now lead to Summerslam in about a month and Booker is going to need a challenger. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Great American Bash if you need a recap.

We look at Chavo Guerrero costing Rey Mysterio the World Title at Great American Bash.

Opening sequence.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Batista

Bash rematch after Kennedy’s head was busted open so badly that his skull was visible (geez). Batista isn’t having any of this arm stuff from Kennedy, who is shoved into the corner early on. Kennedy gets shoved away again and Batista hits the shoulders to the ribs. Back up and Kennedy starts in on the leg to take over, including cranking away on the mat. They head outside for the brawl, where Batista clotheslines the post by mistake. Kennedy punches him off the apron though and it’s another countout to make Kennedy 2-0 against Batista.

Rating: D+. These wins against Batista aren’t exactly game changers but they are doing something for Kennedy. Just having him out there in the ring with Batista and not getting destroyed is going to do something for him and that’s the kind of thing WWE can use. Batista isn’t even getting beaten so much as losing so it is quite the efficient use of both guys.

Tonight: King Booker is crowned King of the World.

Wrestlemania is coming to Detroit on April 1 and WWE had the press conference to prove it.

Vito vs. Simon Dean

Earlier today, Vito walked around in the dress. Dean jumps him to start and hammers away as JBL plugs his FOX show and makes various jokes about Cole and Vito. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Vito fights up and hits a suplex (with the blurring starting up as the dress comes up). The attempted use of the Simon System bag doesn’t work so it’s the implant DDT to drop Dean. Vito armbars him for the win.

Rating: D. I’m not sure how much longer Vito can keep doing this but it’s not exactly thrilling stuff. It’s bottom of the barrel material and I can’t imagine anything really coming from it. That being said, it does help that they aren’t treating it as anything more than comic relief and they’re in and out in a hurry most weeks.

Rey Mysterio won’t talk about Chavo Guerrero because he wants the World Title back in tonight’s rematch.

Tatanka vs. Sylvan

Yes, this is the best they can think of for their TV time after Vito in a dress. Tatanka kicks him into the corner to start and slaps on a headlock as JBL makes Bingo/casino jokes. A thumb to the eye lets Sylvan send him shoulder first into the post and it’s time to work on that arm.

Back up and Tatanka misses a charge into the corner, allowing Sylvan to grab a belly to back for two. That’s about it for the offense as Tatanka hits a backdrop and the chops, including the top rope chop to the head. The Papoose To Go only gets two (that’s a rare one) so Grenier goes after his tomahawk. Since the referee doesn’t want potential murder in his match, he takes it away, allowing Grenier to hit a low blow. The TKO finishes Tatanka.

Rating: D. So that happened. I’m not sure what they’re going for this with this show and having people like Sylvan, Vito and Tatanka getting back to back matches isn’t the best way to get the energy going. On top of that, the match actually got some time to really hammer in the troubles, though that might be due to a stereotypical Native American vs. an ambassador in 2006.

Post match, Grenier throws Tatanka’s headdress on the floor to, hopefully not at least, keep things going.

Michelle McCool vs. Jillian Hall

Kristal and Ashley are the seconds. Michelle doesn’t seem to think much of Jillian’s looks as JBL loses it over Cole talking about athleticism, suggesting that Vito and Cole head to a bar together. Jillian hammers away in the corner and hits a crossbody. McCool’s face is put into Jillian’s chest (JBL: “If she had done that move with me, I wouldn’t have had to fire her.” Hall misses a running flip legdrop and Michelle grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the fast pin.

Chavo Guerrero joins us on the Titantron to say that he only owes Rey Mysterio an explanation. He’ll be here next week to explain the true meaning of a Guerrero.

It’s time for King Booker’s coronation, including trumpeters, a flower girl, a red carpet, and a carriage to bring Booker and Booker and Queen Sharmell to the ring. Balloons fall and it takes a long time for the two of them to get in the ring. Booker handles his own introduction but here’s Rey Mysterio to seated senton him through the throne. A 619 drops Booker as well and referees finally break it up.

William Regal and Finlay argue a bit about their rematch tonight, but they both seem to be looking forward to the fight.

US Title: Finlay vs. William Regal

Regal is challenging in a rematch from the Bash. Finlay takes him down by the leg and stomps on the finger a few times. A sunset flip doesn’t work for Regal as Finlay sits on his chest and grabs a chinlock. Finlay sends him face first into the apron but Regal is right back with a catapult into the post. Back in and Regal grabs his own chinlock, followed by a suplex for a few near falls. The exploder suplex gets three two counts in a row but here’s the Leprechaun to go after the turnbuckle pad. The referee fixes it, allowing the Leprechaun to hit Regal low. A rollup with trunks retains Finlay’s title.

Rating: C. It wasn’t what they did on Sunday but it wasn’t supposed to be. This was about two people beating the heck out of each other until the rather busy ending. What mattered here was having the Leprechaun get involved again and they had a nice fight cut off in a hurry. Finlay retaining was fine too, as it’s not like he should be losing anytime soon.

Raw Rebound.

It’s time for the Diva Search girls to play musical chairs. Miz, who rather misses Maryse, handles getting rid of the chairs. JT wins as I miss the days of Eugene running Raw and having people like Flair, Lawler and Stacy in the same game.

Paul Heyman comes in to see Teddy Long, who he wants on ECW next week. Long can even bring a Smackdown wrestler to face Big Show. That’s fine with Long, who picks Batista, which Heyman didn’t expect.

The debuting Elijah Burke introduces Sylvester Terkay.

Matt Hardy vs. Sylvester Terkay

Terkay takes him down and hammers away as JBL lists off Terkay’s MMA/amateur credentials. An armbar sets up a belly to belly for two on Hardy and Terkay backfists him in the head. Another armbar makes Hardy tap in a hurry. Terkay looked good in a short burst.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. King Booker

Booker, with Queen Sharmell, is defending. Rey gets hammered into the corner to start but a sunset flip sets up a basement dropkick to rock the king. It’s too early for a 619 though as Booker bails to the floor and we take a break. Back with Rey slugging away in the corner and hitting a dropkick to the floor.

Rey misses a dive to the floor and the knee is banged up in the process. The sidekick lets Booker hammer away at the mask, followed by a side slam to cut off the comeback. We hit the armbar on Rey but he’s back up with a headscissors. Three Amigos have Booker down but here’s Chavo Guerrero to pull Rey off the apron. Rey is sent into the barricade and the ax kick retains the title.

Rating: C. This was just a quick way to get something in for the sake of writing off the rematch and getting it out of the way. They did almost the same ending as Sunday, minus about fifteen minutes of setup. That isn’t exactly a great way to go, but it is the necessary step to take to get things to Summerslam.

Overall Rating: D. I’m going to write this one off as the Stephanie Just Had A Baby Show, because this was a mixture of rematches from the pay per view (with rather similar finishes), the nothing lower card stuff and musical chairs. Assuming that is what happened, this was just a one off misfire, but if not then we could be in for a rather long next few months.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: July 14, 2006
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are rapidly approaching the Great American Bash and now we have a main event. This time around it’s going to be King Booker challenging the weakest World Champion of modern times in Rey Mysterio. Other than that, Batista is back and that could shake things up a lot. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Batista returning and beating up Mark Henry last week.

Opening sequence.

Here are King Booker, Queen Sharmell and William Regal to get things going. Regal reads a proclamation from a scroll, saying that Booker is ready to take his rightful place. Dropping to a knee, Regal promises to destroy Mysterio tonight, all for the glory of Queen Sharmell. JBL: “She’s the queen goddess of HOT!” Booker promises to win the title and talks about Batista returning last week.

We see a clip of Batista destroying Henry, but at the same time, Booker jumped Mysterio in the back for the real beatdown. Booker promises to win the title but here’s Rey. Regal goes to the aisle so Rey can sneak in from the crowd to jump Booker. Perfectly fine opening segment to move forward on the title match.

Matt Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy

Matt jumps him during the entrance and JBL is not pleased with the lack of the introduction. A belly to back suplex gives Matt two but Kennedy sends him shoulder first into the post. The arm is sent into the buckle for a bonus and Kennedy wraps it around the rope. We hit the armbar for a bit before Kennedy heads up top. That’s fine with Matt, who crotches him down and grabs a superplex.

The Side Effect gets two but the Twist of Fate is countered into a neckbreaker to give Kennedy two of his own. Kennedy tries his own Twist of Fate but Hardy reverses into the real thing, only to have Kennedy grab the rope. The cover takes a bit too long though and Hardy rolls him up for the fast pin.

Rating: C. It’s weird seeing Kennedy pinned and having Matt Hardy be the one to do it is all the more confusing. The match itself was average at best, putting it fairly high up on the Kennedy scale. Matt wasn’t great in the ring at this point but you could pencil him in for a pretty watchable match, which is what you got here.

Raw Rebound.

Michelle McCool and Kristal talk trash about Ashley, who pops up with Jillian Hall for the big catfight. JBL is rather pleased.

Here are Great Khali and Daivari on the stage for a chat. Daivari asks if Undertaker is scared of Khali since he didn’t even show up last week. If Undertaker is this phenom, show yourself. Then the gong sounds and Undertaker pops up in the ring, with Daivari insisting that Khali isn’t afraid. Undertaker shoots lightning at Daivari, who falls down while Khali doesn’t move. Daivari has to beg Khali to not go to the ring and eventually he backs up.

Paul London vs. Jamie Noble

Brian Kendrick and Kid Kash are at ringside as JBL talks about the Pit Bulls’ politics to start. Noble is aggressive early on and hammers away on the ropes. An elbow to the face puts Noble down but he grounds London and grabs a rear naked choke. London breaks it up with a ram into the corner and he starts to kick Noble down. A belly to belly sets up a dropkick to the back for two but Noble’s powerslam gets the same. Kash goes after Kendrick on the floor though and the chase lets Kash get in a cheap shot on London. The fireman’s carry gutbuster gives Noble the cheating pin.

Rating: C. These two are both very talented and it makes sense to put them in the ring together to draw some interest for the pay per view title match. Just don’t do the same thing with the partners swapped in and you’re onto something. We got the idea here so why waste time by doing the same thing again?

Miz is VERY excited about the Diva Search girls in their bikinis for Boot Camp.

Sylvan thinks the Diva Search girls are beautiful, but not as beautiful as Quebec. Come see it. JBL: “I’d rather go to Rwanda. I hate this guy.”

Here’s Teddy Long for the contract signing between Batista and Mark Henry. The match is taking place at the Great American Bash, but we’ll make it a little bigger: the winner gets the World Title shot at Summerslam. As for tonight though, if either of them touches the other, they forfeit the match.

Batista is out first and talks about how good it is to be back. Coming through that curtain is a natural high that he cannot explain and, while getting a little choked up, Batista talks about how much he loves being here. Last year was the best year of his life but then Mark Henry took it all away. The jacket comes off as Batista talks about sitting at home for six months while Henry dominated Smackdown. If Henry thinks last week was payback, he has no idea what is coming for him at the Great American Bash.

Now it’s Henry, with a bandage on his head, coming out to say that Batista must feel good about himself. That was the worst beating he ever received and all it took was the World Champion and Batista jumping him from behind. If it didn’t cost him the Summerslam match, Henry would detach Batista’s head right now. Teddy calms things down and they both sign. The table is turned over but Henry leaves without getting physical.

United States Title: Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending and drives Finlay into the corner to start. That earns him a shot to the face and we hit the chinlock early on. That’s fine with Lashley, who is right back with a delayed vertical suplex as we take a break. Back with Finlay dropping him with a clothesline for two and sending Lashley shoulder first into the post. A drop toehold sets up the Crossface but Lashley fights up again.

Clotheslines and a belly to belly have Finlay bailing to the floor, where he throws a chair inside. With that not working, Finlay grabs the Shillelagh but Lashley hits a backdrop and tosses it up to the stage. They fight to the floor where Finlay misses a chair shot so the referee has to take them away. Cue the Leprechaun to throw Finlay another Shillelagh so he can knock Lashley cold for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. They had a pretty nice physical match here and there’s nothing wrong with putting the title on Finlay. Lashley already got a nice rub out of it and Finlay is tied into the show’s top heel. It wasn’t even a clean loss so Lashley gets to save fast. Good enough power brawl here and the title change is a fine switch.

Earlier today, Vito went shopping at the Mall of America.

Here’s Miz to introduce the Diva Search girls for Divas Boot Camp, as hosted by Sgt. Slaughter. It’s an obstacle course and the winner gets immunity.

Jen goes first and finishes in 42 seconds.

Layla, finishing with the splits gets 37 seconds.

Erica at 48 seconds.

Maryse at 41 seconds.

Milena, who loses her hat, at 49 seconds.

Rebecca, whose hair gets caught in the jump rope, at 49 seconds.

JT, who drops the jump rope, at 43 seconds.

Amy at 46 seconds.

Layla wins immunity, and more importantly, Sgt. Slaughter’s hat. I got that at a house show when I was a kid so I have to smile. This was exactly as advertised: good looking women in swimsuits running and jumping a lot. Throw in Move Along by All American Rejects as the song throughout and I’d call it a success.

Great American Bash rundown.

William Regal vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title with King Booker and Sharmell on commentary. Joined in progress with Regal holding a chinlock as the EDDIE chants don’t work as well here. Regal elbows him in the face for three straight twos. Rey is back up with a headscissors out of the corner and a basement dropkick for two of his own. Sharmell offers a quick distraction though, allowing Regal to crotch Rey on top. Regal drops a knee and puts on a chinlock as those chants start up again.

Cole gets so annoyed at Booker that he stands up for a bit as Rey is sent to the apron. You don’t do that to Rey, who is right back with a springboard seated senton. Booker gets up for a distraction this time, allowing Rey to hit a baseball slide low blow in the corner. The split legged moonsault gets two and Rey knocks Booker off the apron. The 619 into the top rope splash finishes Regal.

Rating: C. Another run of the mill match but it’s nice to see Mysterio getting a win, even if it’s over someone not quite in the main event. This is why a villain has lackeys though, as Rey beating one of Regal’s associates is a fine way to set him up for the pay per view title match. The match was all about Rey overcoming the odds and it worked out well enough, with Rey FINALLY not looking like a loser.

Rey hits a 619 on Booker to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was completely acceptable throughout and it’s hard to complain about the Diva Search stuff, as you can see exactly what they are going for with the whole thing. At the same time, if that cuts down on the stupid stuff like Vito having fun out there, it’s not the worst replacement imaginable. The Bash isn’t looking like the best show ever, but there are enough things on the show that I want to see, so at least it’s feeling better than Vengeance.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 26, 2006
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Vengeance and a grand total of pretty much nothing happened on the show. Other than Johnny Nitro winning the Intercontinental Title, it was one of the least important shows that WWE has put on in a very long time. We do have something important tonight though, as John Cena gets his rematch against Rob Van Dam for the WWE Title. Let’s get to it.

Here is Vengeance if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

JR and King run down the card.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Trish is challenging in her first match since Backlash when she badly injured her shoulder. Mickie goes right for the shoulder to start but Trish is out in a hurry. The threat of a hammerlock is countered into some right hands to the head and a spinebuster gives Trish two. A hurricanrana gives Trish two but Mickie kicks her in the face. The MickieDT retains the title in a hurry. Mickie spent almost as much time adjusting her top as she did fighting.

Post match here are Johnny Nitro and Melina, with Lawler being VERY glad to see Melina. Mickie leaves and Melina gives some insincere praise for the comeback match. Nitro is the only man holding singles gold on Raw and Trish is looking at the new top Diva in WWE. Trish goes after her but Nitro grabs Trish, drawing out Carlito for the save.

Post break, Carlito is ranting about Nitro when Trish comes up to thank him. Carlito rants in Spanish, which Trish agrees with in the form of “right, right.” Anyway she thanks him again and, in regards to the question on his short (spit or swallow), she whispers something in his ear, which he enthusiastically declares cool. Lawler is rather pleased by that result.

We look at DX tormenting Vince McMahon last week.

The Spirit Squad is ranting to Vince and Shane McMahon, but the latter tells them to watch tonight as the McMahons take care of DX.

We get some fan picks for Cena vs. Van Dam tonight.

Umaga vs. Kamala

This was set up after Umaga beat Eugene and had a staredown with Umaga. Armando Alejandro Estrada and Kim Chee are here too. Kamala chops away to start but gets knocked down, setting up the running hip attack in the corner to crush Kim Cheer for a bonus. The middle rope headbutt sets up the Samoan Spike to end the complete squash.

We go to the Diva Search casting special, featuring the Miz as emcee and Ashley Massaro as the big speaker. The Divas dance a lot and we see Brooke Adams, Layla El, Rosa Mendes and Maryse, none of whom are named. The finalists are out here tonight.

Here’s Torrie Wilson to unveil the summer Divas magazine. Believe it or not, the cover to the swimsuit magazine with Torrie Wilson is Torrie Wilson in a swimsuit. Cue Edge and Lita to interrupt and throw Torrie out in a hurry. Edge says he should be the star of the show and on the cover of magazines (the swimsuit may be implied). He should be the star around here and the fact that Rob Van Dam is defending against John Cena tonight is a joke.

If Edge doesn’t get a rematch, they’re leaving Raw. The fans think they suck so Edge and Lita leave through the crowd. Hold on though as they do stop by the merchandise stand where Edge takes his shirt (which should be in the center). They’re out the door, shirts in hand.

Here’s a banged up John Cena to talk about how One Night Stand wasn’t his finest hour. He could just storm through off with shirts under his arm or he could fight and earn a rematch. Tonight, he takes care of business.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Viscera/Val Venis

It’s the return of Cade/Murdoch, who were a decent team while they originally lasted. Cade hammers Venis down to start but Venis gets in a right hand to the face. It’s off to Murdoch via a hot tag and an atomic drop into a big boot has Venis down again. Cue Charlie Haas to talk to Lilian Garcia and that’s not cool with Viscera. The hot tag brings in Viscera and house is cleaned in a hurry but Charlie kisses Lilian, allowing Cade and Murdoch to finish with a High/Low (which we only see on the replay).

Rating: D. The match was just there for the sake of the angle, as you might be trying to find out why Viscera, Lilian Garcia and Charlie Haas are getting a story. Points enough for trying something out of an accident if nothing else, though I’m not sure how many miles they can get out of something like this.

We see Brooke Hogan’s music video for About Us.

Randy Orton liked what he saw in said video.

Shane McMahon is so excites for the match against DX that he hits some furniture with a baseball bat.

Here’s HHH, as Vince McMahon, for a chat. HHH says he’s going to come out here and ramble incoherently before DX takes him the McMahons tonight. It will be more embarrassing than having his pants taken down, than losing to Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania, or even than the XFL (that gets a gasp). Last week, DX sent him a rooster, suggesting that he loves cocks. In reality, he loves great men like Dick Ebersol, Dick Chaney and Dick Clark. He loves them of any size, shape and color. HHH: “I’ll even do an Asian!”

Cue Shane McMahon, as played by Shawn Michaels, meaning it’s a lot of dancing as HHH does the Vince ear pull. Shawn says he is the product of Vince’s semen. He even has it on his business card. He brings up Vince’s eventual death, which sets off another round of dancing. HHH: “Son, are you mildly retarded?” HHH says Shane must be mistaken because Stephanie is getting all of Vince’s money. HHH: “Stephanie and that guy who knocked her up.”

After hearing about what a stud that guy must be, Shawn talks about how he just needs one more shot and he’s so excited that he has to dance. HHH yells in his face to stop, sending Shawn straight down. Actually dancing doesn’t sound like a bad idea, so hit that STAND BACK. This goes on for a long time but the Hulk Hogan bass solo is enough to bring out the real Vince and Shane.

Cue the Spirit Squad to join the McMahons for the beatdown, but never mind because DX drops a bunch of human waste on them (apparently it smells bad). HHH: “Don’t worry: because of Shawn, it’s holy s***.” JR: “It’s indescribable what DX has done to the McMahons!” You mean when they imitated them and then dropped fake human waste on them? The parody was funny for a bit but went on too long. Then the other stuff…..just wasn’t, as always.

We look at Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair from Vengeance, with Flair being left beaten and bloody.

Flair, from is home in Charlotte, says that everything Foley did last night was proof that everything Flair wrote about him was true. Vengeance is sworn and Flair was all fired up here.

Paul Heyman talks to Rob Van Dam because he’s worried about the title match against Cena. Tonight it’s under WWE rules in a WWE ring with a WWE referee. Rob says it’s cool and he’s got this.

More fans give their Cena vs. Van Dam picks.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Kane powers him into the corner to start but Orton gets in a shot to the face and two off a dropkick. A big boot and running clothesline in the corner rock Orton, setting up the top rope clothesline. Kane loads up the chokeslam but here’s Costume Kane, who Kane jumps in the aisle and knocks down. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match that was more about the angle than anything else. Orton continues to be on a roll but there is only so much you can do with Kane vs. a fake Kane. The pay per view match wasn’t good in the first place so keeping the thing going doesn’t exactly sound great. Though at least it isn’t more See No Evil.

Post match Kane is back up and chokeslams Costume Kane twice in the ring and one more time on the stage. Kane drags him to the back and then to the back. Post break, Kane unmasks him (showing the bald head of Luke Gallows, though we don’t see the face) and throws him outside. If I remember right, the original plan was to say that Costume Kane was the real version and the one we had seen was a fake, but thankfully they realized that would have been even dumber than what we got so take the small wins where you can.

We see the Tough Enough finalists being selected (including a quick look at the Bella Twins). Brooke Adams is cut but Maryse makes it (there’s something awesome about Miz meeting his future wife being shown like this).

We look at Rob Van Dam winning the WWE Title from John Cena at One Night Stand under less than fair circumstances.

The Highlanders use a public restroom. Hilarity ensues and they debut next week.

Raw World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging and slugs away to start. Rob gets in a kick and heads up top, only to be shoved down hard in a crash as we take a break. Back with Rob fighting out of a chinlock and starting the slugout. That goes to Cena as well but this time Rob kicks him off the top instead. There’s the flip to the floor to drop Cena again and Rob hits a legdrop for two back inside. It’s time for a chair but Cena scores with the hard clothesline into the running shoulders.

The ProtoBomb into the Five Knuckle Shuffle looks to set up the FU but Rob slips out and hits a kick to the head. They slug it out again with Rob hitting another kick to the face, setting up a German suplex for two on Cena. The split legged moonsault gets the same and there’s the top rope kick to the face. Cena rolls away before the Five Star can launch and then gets his knees up to block Rolling Thunder. The FU sets up the STFU but Edge runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They did what they could here and Cena was showing the fire that made him feel like a bigger star. The ending was a good way out if they weren’t going to change the title, but it didn’t exactly help Van Dam look like a star. Then again, just being champion doesn’t make Van Dam a bigger star than Cena and being beaten until Edge comes in is hardly some death sentence.

Post match Edge says he’ll see Van Dam tomorrow and leaves through the crowd.

Overall Rating: C. This was good enough but there are some things that aren’t exactly making me look forward to the future. Above all else, there is the Diva Search, which is going to be around for the next two months and bring the show to a grinding halt. I guess they need new models though. Other than that, Cena was showing fire and they are starting to plant seeds for Summerslam, but some of these things are not exactly making me interested in seeing where things are going. Not terrible, but the future isn’t looking bright.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 20, 2004
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the season premiere of Raw and that means….I’m not sure really as wrestling doesn’t have seasons. One thing tonight is the end of the Diva Search, meaning the segments that have managed to make great looking women in swimsuits a chore to sit through are over. Other than that, we’re coming up on Taboo Tuesday, which we don’t know much about. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Jim Barnett, a longtime promoter in the NWA and Australia.

Here’s Vince McMahon to open things up. After a quick welcome, he wants to get to the major announcement promised, which concerns everyone, including Eric Bischoff. This brings out a limping Bischoff (thanks to having a sledgehammer dropped on his fott a few weeks back) and Vince gets to the point. A few weeks ago, Chris Jericho suggested that the fans vote on a type of match. That’s a good idea, but what about doing it on a full pay per view?

Indeed, on October 19, we’ll be seeing a new concept called Taboo Tuesday (yes Tuesday) where the fans get to vote on everything from who gets a World Title shot to what the Divas are wearing. Bischoff loves the idea on paper but doesn’t think these people are capable of making such decisions. Vince is a busy man so maybe he should think about this for a week. Next Monday, Bischoff can have another idea that isn’t involving the fans taking control.

That sounds like patronizing to Vince, and there’s a reason that Bischoff is the GM of Raw and Vince isn’t the GM of Nitro (good line). Maybe Bischoff doesn’t like the idea because with the fans picking things, there’s no need for a GM. Actually, Vince thinks Bischoff should be wrestling that night, against this man. Cue the still injured Eugene and Bischoff isn’t sure what to do.

They’ll be facing off at Taboo Tuesday and the fans get to pick what happens to the loser. Vince even has options: the loser is the winner’s servant, the loser has to wear a dress, or the loser’s head is shaved. Bischoff immediately tries to talk Eugene out of the match because he loves his nephew. They could go out and get some ice cream tonight but Eugene knocks him out instead.

The fans didn’t exactly react to the concept, and I can’t say I blame them. As Bischoff said it’s good on paper, but I’m not sure how well it’s going to go in practice. On a related note though, how much better is it to have Eugene back at a level where he belongs? It’s probably way too late, but this was more charming than annoying and that’s a positive sign for him.

We look back at Randy Orton attacking HHH last week, including the cake. Orton got him at the end of the show as well, but HHH still left as champion so it’s not like it mattered all that much. Shelton Benjamin and Chris Benoit ran in for the save to end the show, meaning we’re probably in for a six man tonight.

Hey look there’s a six man tonight.

Stacy Keibler/Victoria vs. Molly Holly/Trish Stratus

In case you didn’t get enough of Stacy wrestling last week. Stacy mocks Molly’s dancing from last week because she frowns on culture. Victoria takes Trish down early to start and the standing moonsault (now minus the dancing) gets two. Molly comes in and walks into a powerslam as Lawler talks about getting to dress the Divas at Taboo Tuesday. A giant swing doesn’t work well for Victoria with the announcers mocking her for it, but thankfully it’s not time for a tag to Stacy just yet. The spinning side slam plants Trish and now it’s off to Stacy for two. Molly comes back in and gets caught in a backslide for the quick pin. Yay indeed.

Orton reads Raw Magazine because that’s what wrestlers do. Vince comes in and says “Sucks doesn’t it?” He’s talking about reality, which is what caused Orton to lose the title. Orton promises to win the title back because it’s his destiny. This interests Vince, who tells Orton to give it his all.

Billy Graham is here.

We look back at Gene Snitsky causing Kane to accidentally injury Lita last week.

Snitsky has been blamed all week but it wasn’t his fault. Last week Snitsky was there to do a job and he did that. To repeat, it wasn’t his fault!

Hurricane vs. Tajiri

This is fallout from a tag match on Heat. They fight over a wristlock to start until Tajiri kicks him in the face. Hurricane gets in a clothesline to set up a seated full nelson but Tajiri fights up without much effort. A tornado DDT is blocked and Tajiri gets in a superkick. Hurricane is right back with something like a neckbreaker but Tajiri reverses the cover into a crucifix for the fast pin.

Post match Hurricane is mad and takes the mask back from a fan. That’s quite the nice heel move.

Kane is at a medical facility (thankfully in street clothes instead of his gear) and says there is a 50/50 chance of saving the baby. Upon hearing Snitsky’s name, Kane gets a lot angrier and vengeance seems to be sworn. So this is the start of Kane’s face turn, though it’s still not the nicest of scenarios.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

Jericho is defending and has hacked his hair off for a pretty bad look. Christian comes out for commentary as a bonus. As expected, they fight over arm control to start until Shawn takes him down with a headlock. Back up and Shawn gets sent over the top so the cat get skinned, allowing him to come off the top with a high crossbody, which gets rolled through for two. A backbreaker keeps Shawn in trouble as Christian dubs himself the Show Stealer, which is much better than the Showstopper.

Jericho’s superplex attempt is broken up without much effort and Shawn hits the early top rope elbow. That’s enough for Christian, who goes to the ring to steal the show. He manages to get in but Shawn knocks him right back out, only to walk into the enziguri from Jericho. Christian gets ejected (wrestling referees have no jurisdiction over commentators) and we take a break. Back with Shawn starting in on the leg and grabbing the Figure Four. That’s broken up in a hurry so Shawn gets smart and stays on the leg.

Jericho grabs a small package for the break and kicks Shawn down, only to jam his knee on a Lionsault attempt. The rapid fire pinfall reversal sequence gives us some good near falls until Jericho takes him down again and scores with the Lionsault this time around. Jericho goes with the straight right hands this time around but Shawn is right back up with the forearm into the nipup. Shawn nips up and gets caught in the Walls, only to have Jericho let go and dropkick the invading Tyson Tomko down. That’s enough for Sweet Chin Music to connect but a very, very slow crawl over for the cover draws Christian in for the DQ.

Rating: B. It was good while it lasted and I can understand why they went with the DQ finish. It’s annoying, but Shawn isn’t going to be Intercontinental Champion and Jericho isn’t ready to lose the thing yet. Christian and Tomko are almost annoying at this point though, as the match was getting really good when the interference started.

Post match Christian shouts at Shawn and beats him up, which is one of the first times I’ve bought him as a bigger time heel.

Smackdown Rebound.

Kane has freaked out at the medical facility with a lot of screaming ensuing.

HHH complains to Evolution about the fans voting because fans are stupid. Flair tells HHH to calm down because he’s the best ever and all that jazz.

Long recap of the Diva Search, with the eliminated women talking about how much they learned about respecting the business. I’m not sure if I want to laugh or glare over a line that stupid.

Rob Conway vs. Maven

What are we doing here? Conway jumps Maven from behind to start as the USA chants start up in a hurry. Maven fights out of a chinlock and stops a charge in the corner before hitting a high crossbody. That’s rolled through to give Conway two (second time we’ve seen that spot in as many matches) before Maven hooks a small package for the pin. Nothing match and it’s still Maven.

Lita’s doctor says she lost the baby, because a doctor is going to do that on national television ten minutes after the fact. Kane comes out of the room and nearly kills the doctor but beats up a wall and screams instead. Hey the wall didn’t hurt your baby dude.

Simon Dean wants to help you lose weight. Seeing the Simon System advertised on VHS is so strange. Simon: “Remember, you can be fat, unattractive and die alone, or you can do the right thing and pick up the phone.”

JR and King do their somber voices about Lita losing the baby.

And now, the Diva Search finals, because WWE doesn’t know what a transition is. Coach mocks both of them and goes to get the envelope but here’s Trish, looking very out of place in a dress, to interrupt. After making fun of all the tasks the women have had to go through, she promises an official victory party for the winner next week. With Trish gone, Christy wins the contest and cheers a lot. She says it’s all about the energy and that she doesn’t need decaf. Carmella gives the lame “oh well it was fun” response doesn’t care about the booing. After some more lame answers, this whole thing is finally done, thank goodness.

Evolution vs. Randy Orton/Chris Benoit/Shelton Benjamin

Shelton knocks HHH down to start and thankfully the announcers bring up Shelton beating him a few times. A shoulder block just lets Shelton nip up so HHH tries the right hands. That goes badly as well as HHH gets backdropped, only to drive Shelton into the corner. So strength seems to work on Shelton, which is why HHH tags Flair instead of Batista. Some cerebral. Benoit tags himself in as well and it’s time for the chop off. Flair gets the worse of it and the Swan Dive connects for two as everything breaks down.

Orton loads up the RKO on the floor but gets posted, allowing Batista to hit the big clothesline. That means Orton needs medics and we take a break. Back with Shelton coming in off the hot tag to clean house and hitting a Stinger Splash on Flair. Batista misses a charge into the corner, though he comes nowhere near the post for a bit of a weird visual. HHH finally gets in a knee and Shelton is in trouble for a change.

Things slow down with Flair hammering away in the corner and HHH coming in without a tag, though Lawler is sure he saw one. I’ll take his word for it. The spinebuster gives HHH two and it’s back to Flair for the Figure Four. That’s broken up as well but Batista remembers that he’s in the match and works on the leg as well. The slow motion holds continue until Shelton kicks Batista in the face, allowing the hot tag to Benoit.

Everything breaks down (of course) and Benoit suplexes both Batista and Flair. HHH comes back in and takes one of his own, leaving Flair to get caught in the Sharpshooter. That’s broken up by HHH but here’s Orton to charge down the ramp and tag himself in. A few right hands send HHH running and the RKO finishes Flair.

Rating: C+. And thus it’s another attempt to get Orton a big moment. That’s all well and good, but having him already win and lose the title makes this feel out of place. The fans aren’t exactly enamored with Orton at the moment and having him taken out so Benoit and Benjamin can wrestle most of the match isn’t going to help things. The only thing that can make it better is him winning the title from HHH and being a hero, but that’s not going to happen because it’s HHH’s title and no one is getting over as a hero while that is the case.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling was pretty watchable this week but for the most part I kept wondering if this is what we were really doing. A lot of the show just felt like it was there for the sake of doing something with the time as we sit around and wait on the next big story. Orton, at least in this form, isn’t going anywhere anytime soon and that leaves us back where we were a year ago. Something needs to be shaken up around here very soon, but it might be a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 30, 2004
Location: Cow Palace, San Francisco, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Things picked up last week as Randy Orton got a little revenge on HHH but the bigger story saw Kane marrying Lita and destroying Matt Hardy in the process. There’s a good chance that we’re going to see some entertaining followup to that this week, which could go several different ways. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

This one gets a TV-MA rating, making me wonder what’s coming from the Diva Search girls.

In Memory of Marcin Markulski, a graphics designer who passed away recently.

We open with a recap of Orton and HHH from last week. That moment is certainly better for Orton’s push than getting beaten down by Evolution.

Here’s Evolution to get things going. HHH clarifies that they are Evolution and the unit exists because he made it so. Oh yeah it’s one of these promos. He explains saving Ric Flair from mediocrity and let him be the Nature Boy again. Batista has raw power and ability but HHH gave him direction and focus. Then there’s Randy Orton, who was going to be HHH’s pet project. Orton was jerking the curtain at junior high schools but HHH saw what no one saw.

Last week Orton spat in his face, which no one has ever done before or again. Orton needs to come out here right now and face the consequences like a man. Orton’s music hits but instead of the champ, we get three guys carrying what look like pictures under covers. Orton comes out and says HHH can’t call him Randy Orton, because he should be called champ. HHH got something out of Evolution, which means the unveiling of the first picture: the four of them with HHH front and center.

Flair is ready to charge the stage but HHH cuts it off with a rant about how Evolution was always about him. That brings us to the second picture, which is Orton pinning Benoit all by himself at Summerslam. Orton talks about learning so much from HHH, who actually thought he would just hand over the title last week.

That brings us to the third picture, which is Orton spitting in his face last week. Orton wants to fight tonight and takes off his shirt, but he’s bringing a friend of his own to the ring. That would be a sledgehammer from behind one of the pictures so Evolution bails in a hurry. The big swing hits the steps instead of HHH as Evolution runs into the crowd.

This was another not bad segment, but Orton chasing the title and beating HHH would seem better (though getting there would be a bit tricky as it would involve HHH getting the title again). Also, Orton doesn’t exactly come off as a violent, aggressive guy and it feels like a hard turn for him. The idea of pushing him as the next big thing is fine, but they’re going about it in a really questionable way.

Post break, Bischoff throws Orton out of the building. Orton does so, but only after dropping a sledgehammer onto Bischoff’s foot.

We look back at Rock, Tajiri and Rhyno beating up La Resistance and Coach last week. Thankfully the Diva Search stuff was left out.

Tajiri/Rhyno vs. La Resistance/Jonathan Coachman

The villains jump them in the aisle and we get things going in a hurry with Rhyno in trouble. Rhyno fight back but can’t get away from the evil French guys. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Coach adds a slap from the apron. With that out of the way, it’s right back to the chinlock as Tajiri is still down from the pre-match beatdown. Sounds like an injury. Rhyno fights back with a bunch of clotheslines and then a Gore to Coach, only to get caught with Au Revoir for the fast pin.

Rating: D-. So we have a handicap match where Tajiri wasn’t really doing anything in the match (which likely wasn’t his fault)? That’s not exactly the best choice for the opening match on a show, but at least there’s a story here and they’re advancing things as we move towards the title match at Unforgiven.

Video on last week’s wedding.

Kane tells someone (not Lita) to not come out until he tells them to because it’s a surprise.

Eugene, in San Francisco Giants gear, tells William Regal about being excited to go to a Giants game yesterday. Regal wants him to stay in the back for Regal’s match with Batista but gets various baseball terms in response.

William Regal vs. Batista

Regal tries the left hands to start but gets run over as fast as you would expect. A half nelson doesn’t get Batista very far and it’s Regal coming back with the left hands. The running knee to the head staggers Batista, who comes right back with a spinebuster. Batista loads up a chair, allowing Flair to come down and get in a brass knuckles shot. The big clothesline (he really needs a better finisher) ends Regal in a hurry. Just a step above a squash, though Regal had the fire, as always.

Shawn Michaels, Ivory and Linda McMahon are at the Republican National Convention.

Here’s Stacy Keibler to host the Diva Search segment. Do you really have to make her help pick her replacement? The girls come out in their swimsuits and Maria gets eliminated, flipping Carmella off on the way out. You know, that might mean more if we had heard anything else about these women other than “Carmella doesn’t care about wrestling”. You know, like giving them personalities.

As for tonight, everyone has thirty seconds to diss all of their fellow contestants.

Joy goes first and grabs Amy’s chest (Joy: “Not firm enough for me.”), spanks Christy and says Carmella talks a lot of s*** but has a gap in her teeth wide enough to drive a truck through.

Amy says Joy needs to “learn how to eat a pie” and Christy needs to sit down. Carmella on the other hand is a w**** who knows s*** about wrestling because having a d*** in your mouth has nothing to do with wrestling. Stacy takes the mic from her with eight seconds left.

Carmella laughs at Amy for not getting into Playboy. Joy is a bad role model with a fat a** and if Carmella doesn’t win, she hopes Christy does.

Christy says she’s hot fire and will burn you. All Joy can do is shake her chest, Amy has lips like a fish and Carmella is a “c** burping gutter s***”. The censors don’t quite cut the audio in time and you can hear Lawler cracking up. Christy does the splits to wrap it up. Stacy: “I like your flexibility.”

So that’s that, and I think there’s a reason you NEVER hear about this thing again.

Kane tells Lita that she’ll love his surprise. They walk past Trish Stratus and Tyson Tomko, the former of whom says Kane is taking out the trash. Kane gets in Tomko’s face and says that was a good one.

Here are Kane and Lita, the latter of whom is being dragged to the ring. Kane says Lita is her favorite and thanks everyone for their gifts, including an open contract at Unforgiven from Eric Bischoff. Lita gave him the greatest gift of all though: a womb for his child. Since Lita is missing Matt Hardy, Kane has a surprise. Matt’s family has been flown in: four guys, mostly short (one fat) in Matt shirts as the crowd dies again. Kane introduces them as Pat, Nat, Rat and Fat. Yes they thought recreating the Royal Family was a good idea. Kane wastes little time in beating all of them up….and let’s make it a match.

Kane vs. Hardy Boyz

A chokeslam finishes Rat in about ten seconds.

Post match (erg) Kane loads up the fire but Lita stops him because she has a surprise of his own. She’s already signed the open contract for him so he’ll be facing someone she’s chosen at Summerslam: the returning Shawn Michaels. Oh yeah Kane helped injure him. Nice touch and I’m surprised they remembered it.

Ric Flair vs. Chris Benoit

Flair has to undergo a weapons check. That’s really not fair….though the referee does find some knuckles in his knee pad. Benoit starts chopping away and gets in the required backdrop. It’s a little early for the Crossface so they head outside with Benoit chopping up against the barricade. Back in and we get a Flair Flop but he’s smart enough to get in a shot to the knee to take over.

Flair goes with chops and right hands instead of staying on the show, which doesn’t seem to be the smartest move for him. Maybe the lack of knuckles is messing with his head. We hit the half crab to go back to the knee but Benoit is right back up with more chops. The Swan Dive misses so Benoit goes with the rolling German suplex instead. Benoit grabs the Sharpshooter and here’s Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Flair didn’t exactly seem thrilled to be out there and the ending does set something up, even if it’s something we’ve seen in various forms over the last several months. Benoit is still a very valuable person to have in this spot because he’s going to have a good match with almost anyone. The match wasn’t much here though, as it was more of a means to get to the ending than anything else.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel, with Chris Jericho saying that he wants to face Edge for the Intercontinental Title at Unforgiven. This brings out Edge, on crutches. Edge is injured and can’t face Jericho at Unforgiven. It doesn’t matter though as he already beat him at Summerslam. Jericho brings up Edge getting booed out of the building, but Edge says he’ll let these puppets boo him every time because he’ll just keep winning the matches.

As for tonight, Jericho doesn’t buy that Edge is really hurt, thinking that it’s going to be a Canadian jig and then Edge swinging a crutch to the head. Edge says he has the MRI to prove that he’s really hurt and when he gets back, Jericho is up first. That’s it for Edge, but here’s the returning Christian to jump Jericho from behind. The beatdown goes on for a while and includes a chair to the face as Edge isn’t sure what to think.

Trish Stratus/Gail Kim vs. Victoria/Nidia

Trish gets in a cheap shot to a not paying attention Victoria before taking over on Nidia. As Lawler makes jokes about Nidia nearly falling out of her top, Gail puts on something like a Brock Lock with a headscissors at the same time. That’s certainly different and painful looking. Nidia fights up in a hurry and the hot tag brings in Victoria to take over. A headbutt knocks Trish off the apron but the Widow’s Peak is reversed into an Edgecator. Cue the mystery “woman”, who falls down the ramp. As we’re looking there, Victoria gets a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. Not much time here and I had to think about who was getting the next title shot at Unforgiven because the match has been given that little focus. The division really needs a fresh name or two at this point because they can only do the same matches and feuds so many times. The problem is they passed that point a long time ago.

Smackdown Rebound.

Bischoff is getting his foot iced down and makes Orton vs. Kane for next week.

Unforgiven rundown, including Regal/Benoit vs. Flair/Batista.

HHH vs. Eugene

No DQ. HHH continues a trend tonight of jump starting the match but gets headlocked down. A backslide gives Eugene two as I try to get my head around this being a feature match at Summerslam earlier this month. HHH punches him in the face for a breather and hits a low blow to really take over. A trip to the floor sees Eugene going shoulder first into the steps and then getting punched in the head to make it even worse.

Back in and HHH calls Eugene Orton because Eugene really doesn’t mean anything. The spinebuster puts Eugene down again and the knee drop makes it worse. It’s time for Eugene to get fired up though, meaning the comeback is on. The top rope double ax handle gets two and there’s the Rock Bottom. The Stunner is broken up and HHH slaps on the sleeper. Eugene is done but there’s a Pedigree for a bonus.

There’s no cover though and I think you know where this is going. HHH grabs the sledgehammer but here’s Orton (who not only got back inside but also changed from a suit into gear) to get punched in the face. Orton wins a quick slugout and hits him with the hammer. An RKO is enough to give Eugene the nothing pin. Orton’s music playing shows you how important the win was.

Rating: D. This was another example of a match being there to fill in time until we get to the angle advancement at the end, though it also shows you how far Eugene fell. He could have been any midcarder here, mainly because Eugene just doesn’t matter anymore. His character was completely destroyed with everything that happened to him being one more step down. I know he didn’t have a long future, but that HHH story just wrecked him.

Overall Rating: D-. I didn’t realize how bad this was until I looked back at the whole thing. There were way too many bad segments and even more really bad matches to go with it. I’ve always liked this Orton face turn but watching it back, they really couldn’t do much worse. The only really entertaining part of this show is the trainwreck that the Diva Search has become but that’s not enough to carry everything else.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

Monday Night Raw – August 30, 2004: Total Divas Wish They Were Like This

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 26, 2004
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Now you might not believe this, but it’s a HHH night as he gets another (yes another) World Title shot, this time in a sixty minute Iron Man Match. Normally I would say that this has to be it for HHH’s time near the title but you know that’s not going to be the case. Other than that I’m sure we’re in for a night full of the Diva Search girls because they dominated last week’s show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

And yeah we open with the Diva Search girls being introduced in the back as Julia is eliminated. She’s the good looking blonde one in a revealing outfit who smiles a lot. Totally different from the good looking blonde ones in revealing outfits who smile a lot. After she’s gone, Coach says that tonight, their task is to verbally seduce a WWE superstar. Oh geez is THIS show.

Video on the Iron Man match, which is either the same video from Vengeance or very similar, with a bonus part about tonight at the end.

Opening sequence.

Battle Royal

Edge, Tyson Tomko, Sylvan Grenier, Robert Conway, Stevie Richards, Hurricane, Maven, William Regal, Rodney Mack, Randy Orton, Tajiri, Rhyno, Rosey, Val Venis, Chuck Palumbo, Matt Hardy, Chris Jericho, Kane, Batista, Ric Flair

Edge gets the first entrance and we see about a dozen people in the ring. Since JR is slow at times, he seems confused as to why Edge is here as well. Eric Bischoff comes out to say the winner gets the World Title shot at Summerslam. Minor note here: the wrestlers didn’t know why they were in the ring or what they were fighting for. Venis was very happy about the news and looked fired up to get a shot. That’s the kind of realistic reaction that you don’t get in today’s overly scripted world. Or maybe he’s just a better actor.

Jericho and Tomko start fighting before the bell and it’s Evolution jumping on Regal for the first elimination. Edge and Jericho clothesline Tomko out and a spear puts Palumbo (He still has a job?) down, followed by a toss out. Jericho walks into the RKO and Evolution tries to get rid of him with Edge making a logical save. We take a break and come back with a very excited JR telling us that Venis and Hardy were put out during the commercial at Kane’s hands. Matt came back in to get after Kane but couldn’t get rid of him. Maybe that’s why Lita cheated on him.

Back to live action with Hurricane being thrown out and Rosey eliminating Mack and Richards. Jericho gets sent to the apron and low bridges Rosey so Edge can dropkick him out. Tajiri saves Rhyno from Au Revoir and kicks La Resistance out. For some reason Tajiri tries the Tarantula on Kane and gets eliminated for his stupidity. Kane powerslams Maven and Flair goes up, with Edge slamming him down instead of knocking him off due to reasons of Flair is too old to take a bump like that.

Another spear hits Kane but he sits up next to the ropes. We take another break and come back with no extra eliminations, meaning it’s Batista, Orton, Flair, Edge, Jericho, Maven, Rhyno and Kane as this is certainly getting some time. Kane starts cleaning house and shrugs off Flair’s chops, setting up a good chokeslam. We get the required battle of the bulls with Batista and Kane with a spinebuster taking Kane down.

That earns him a Gore, to one heck of a reaction. There’s a good lesson there about protecting a move, as Rhyno hasn’t won a big match in forever but the Gore is still viewed as devastating so people still buy it. Maven throws Flair out but Rhyno Gores him as well. That’s it for Rhyno though as Batista throws him out and we’re down to six. Everyone gets together to eliminate Kane and Orton drops Maven ribs first onto the top rope for an elimination.

Edge and Jericho get rid of Batista, with Orton seeming to see what happened and not doing anything about it. The partnership doesn’t last long though as Jericho tosses Edge and we’re down to Jericho and Orton. A spinebuster takes Jericho down and a catapult puts Jericho on the ropes but he gets back in. Orton saves himself as the fans are behind Jericho (well duh).

Some skinning of the cat lets Jericho get back in (Orton: “Mother******!”) and they fight on the apron. The slugout gives us some near eliminations with both guys having one leg go near the floor. Orton gets back in but scores with an RKO over the middle rope, followed by a dropkick for the win. Just like at Wrestlemania, Orton seems shocked that he won, which makes sense given how young he still is.

Rating: B-. They did well with this as the action was good and, as tends to be the key to battle royals, the extra time allowed the drama to build up. You can only get things going so well when the match is ten minutes long and that wasn’t an issue here. Orton winning is a nice surprise, as you absolutely have to try someone new at some point and with the long Intercontinental Title reign and rematch out of the way, there isn’t really anything else for him to do but move up to the main event.

And now, the Diva Search girls get twenty seconds each to verbally seduce…..Kamala. This results in some horrible acting (yeah I know), Kamala shouting and slapping his stomach a lot, and the girls wondering how they got talked into this. Michelle goes first and says Kamala could teach her a thing or two and…..oh dear how many of them are left? Christy asks if she can show him how a body slam works because she’s new at wrestling.

Camille says he has beautiful hands as there isn’t a lot of seducing going on around here. Maria asks Kamala if he knows what verbally seducing means. Maybe he knows it better than any of the girls so far. Maria: “Is that what you do? You pound your belly?” Tracy does lines from the Nutty Professor and laughs a lot. Carmella laughs too and says that Kamala is so hot, sounding like she’s about to cry.

Chandra screams upon seeing Kamala and pulls at her top a bit. Amy, in a tied off Hines Ward jersey to a big pop, promises that she would rock Kamala’s world and dances against him a bit. Finally (thank goodness), Joy thinks Kamala is from Hawaii and asks to slap his belly. Joy: “Do the WWE dance.” That was the most grueling 7:33 of my life and THIS IS GOING TO KEEP GOING FOR HOW MANY MORE WEEKS??? This is the kind of thing that would embarrass me if a non-wrestling fan saw me watching it and that’s about as low as you can get. Side note: did any of these people know who Kamala was? Like, any one of them?

Smackdown Rebound. I’ve never been so happy to see JBL.

Clip of some WWE personalities at the Democratic National Convention in Boston for another voting drive. Nothing wrong with that, even though Linda McMahon is there. Hearing Stacy Keibler talking about the economy is….weird.

Diva Search. Swimsuits. How to vote. More time wasted. Each one of them gets their own phone number for the voting as this eats up even more time.

Flair and Batista congratulate Orton on his win until HHH comes in. Orton is ready to face him for the World Title at Summerslam and wishes him good luck tonight, which HHH eventually accepts. He doesn’t need luck though.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Chris Benoit

HHH is challenging in a sixty minute Iron Man match. After a rules explanation (with overtime promised in the event of a draw), we’re ready to go with a lockup around the ring. HHH gets in a slap to the face as the feeling out process continues. Benoit’s headlock is countered into a top wristlock with Benoit bridging back up (always cool) but not being able to get the Crossface.

That’s enough for HHH to take a breather on the floor as the time filler is completely acceptable here. Back in and the threat of a Pedigree has Benoit running for the ropes as a random HHH chant starts up. Benoit can’t get the Crossface so he settles for another headlock. The Crossface sends HHH running outside again as we’re five minutes in.

Benoit goes after the knee this time with a legdrag and some cannonballs down onto the leg. HHH gets a boot up in the corner and hits a DDT to cut Benoit off. The Pedigree is countered into a Sharpshooter attempt which is countered into the Crossface as we’re ten minutes in. HHH tries to roll out but gets rolled up to put Benoit up 1-0 with 49:50 to go.

Benoit – 1, HHH – 0

Back from a break with Benoit holding a chinlock with 46:15 to go. A snap suplex gives Benoit two and a German suplex gets the same. The abdominal stretch goes on as I wait for the Wilbur Snyder reference. HHH finally gets it over to the ropes and hiptosses Benoit over, sending him back first onto the apron. Back in and a heck of an Irish whip into the corner puts Benoit (bleeding from the mouth) down.

Another whip is reversed to flip HHH over the corner and there’s the dive through the ropes with Benoit crashing hard into the barricade. We take another break with both guys down on the floor and come back with about 37:00 minutes left. HHH blocks a Sharpshooter attempt so Benoit softens up the knee a little bit more. Benoit channels his inner HHH with a modified Indian deathlock, which suits him far better than HHH.

The Figure Four keeps the knee in trouble until HHH makes a rope. A hot shot onto the turnbuckle rocks Benoit for a delayed two with 33:00 to go. Benoit rolls the German suplexes and goes up but misses the Swan Dive. The Pedigree ties us up with….well there’s no clock but I’d assume about 31:00 to go.

Benoit – 1, HHH – 1

Benoit is down on the floor and HHH knees him back off the apron as we hit the halfway mark. HHH drops the still injured chest onto the steps and gets a countout with 28:45 to go.

HHH – 2, Benoit – 1

We take a break and come back with 25:21 to go as HHH whips him chest first into the buckle for two. HHH hammers away some more as King talks about voting for his favorite Diva. During a World Title match with the champion in trouble. Because WWE of course. Anyway HHH kicks him in the back and hits the spinebuster for another fall at 21:54 to go.

HHH – 3, Benoit – 1

We take another break and come back with Benoit hiptossing his way out of an abdominal stretch at 18:29. The Pedigree is countered into a failed Sharpshooter attempt. That works so well that they do it again, this time with the hold going on. HHH holds on for over a minute before finally tapping with 15:40 to go. That was some nice drama before the tap.

HHH – 3, Benoit – 2

HHH takes a breather on the floor so Benoit keeps him there with a baseball slide. Back in and the Crossface has HHH in more trouble but this time he gets a foot on the rope. Benoit slaps it on again and HHH taps to tie us up at 12:03 to go.

HHH – 3, Benoit – 3

With the score tied, Flair and Batista come out as we take what should be the final break. Back with 8:30 to go and HHH throws Benoit outside. A knee to the face keeps Benoit in trouble and Batista posts him behind the referee’s back to earn his keep. That’s enough to bust Benoit open and he’s thrown inside for two. HHH hammers away in the corner with 6:00 left. Some rolling German suplexes have HHH in trouble but the referee gets bumped.

The Crossface goes on so Evolution comes in, with Flair throwing in a chair so HHH can crack Benoit in the head. There’s no referee to count so HHH asks Benoit if he’s ok and covers with 4:30 to go. Cue Bischoff with a fresh referee for three straight near falls, drawing Flair back up to the apron. HHH throws the other referee to the floor and it’s Batista and Flair coming in to destroy Benoit again.

Eugene comes in for the save and of course he can beat up Flair, Batista and HHH on his own. Bischoff gets knocked off the apron with 2:30 to go and Eugene chairs HHH down. Benoit crawls over and, with Eugene throwing the referee back in, takes the lead with 6 seconds left and of course wins 4-3. That chair shot knocked HHH cold for over two minutes.

Rating: B. Normally you would think that there would be a lot to talk about in an Iron Man match but that’s not really the case here. It was just an extended version of any HHH vs. Benoit match. In other words, it’s entertaining and a good match, but it’s not like we haven’t seen any of this before. That leaves one thing to talk about it’s not good.

Eugene is completely done as a character as he’s gone from using his comedy style to beat up Rob Conway (fine) to beating up HHH and a mostly fresh Batista and Flair at the same time. Last week Benoit himself got his head handed to him by Batista and Flair is Flair, but Eugene can beat them all up without breaking a sweat? That’s the kind of thing that someone like Hogan, Austin, Rock or Cena should have trouble doing but Eugene did it here with almost no problem. That not only defeats the purpose of the character but goes WAY too far, and it’s going to be even worse when he faces HHH at Summerslam.

Eugene poses on the announcers’ table and a bunch of replays set up HHH glaring at Eugene to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. There are pretty much three segments on this show, giving you two strong matches that set up the Summerslam main event (plus at least one other match) and both of them were more than fine enough. The problem is the Diva Search stuff, which isn’t funny, isn’t likely drawing any extra fans, and is just showing how worthless these non-wrestlers really are.

The Raw women’s division isn’t great, but it serves a purpose that helps a wrestling show. This stuff is fan service that fills in time, which isn’t good for someone who wants to watch some wrestling around here. Keep those things to one minute segments and do the rest of the stuff on the website if you just have to have it. Last week on Smackdown, Kurt Angle fired four women for having no talents inside the ring. Now we have to see ten more complete for one spot for probably the next two months? That’s our big segment for the summer? I’m so thrilled. Anyway, good show this week, but fast forward through the Diva Search.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 19, 2004
Location: MCI Center, Washington DC
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re still on the road to Summerslam and the big story coming out of last week saw Evolution beat down pretty much everyone in sight, including Eugene. I’m not sure how this is going to go anywhere other than more HHH time, but why mess with what has worked so well? For HHH that is of course. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Chris Benoit successfully defending the World Title against Eugene last week, leading to Evolution destroying the two of them plus William Regal. At least they finally got to the logical part of this rather over complicated story.

Say it with me: here’s HHH to open things up. HHH says he’s not too proud of what he did last week and it was probably even below him. It made him feel rotten but once he thought about it, of course he felt better because it’s just Eugene. He knows Eugene isn’t here tonight so get close to the TV and understand this: HHH hates him and so does Evolution. Everyone here hates Eugene and is embarrassed by him, even his mom.

Eugene has no business being here because he isn’t normal. Just in case Eugene still doesn’t get it, here’s a clip from after Raw with Regal and Benoit checking on Eugene and crying as he was taken out on a stretcher. HHH: “There’s no crying in wrestling!” This brings out Eric Bischoff, who is so proud of HHH that he’s giving him another World Title shot next week. As I sigh heavily, Bischoff makes it even worse by making it a sixty minute Iron Man match.

HHH has a busy night next week so he can have tonight off while Benoit faces Batista. After HHH promises some violence, here’s Regal to interrupt. He doesn’t like what HHH and Bischoff have done so the fight is on with Regal beating the heck out of HHH and sending him into the steps. Security takes him away and Regal’s bugging out eyes are a great visual, as tends to be the case for him.

Sylvan Grenier vs. Tajiri

A slam sets up the chinlock, which of course brings Tajiri right back to life. The handspring elbow sets up a superkick for two on Grenier and the Tarantula makes things even worse. The referee goes after Rhyno for some reason, allowing Conway to get in a flag shot. Grenier hits a faceplant and grabs the tights for the pin.

Rating: C. This was shockingly watchable and the best Grenier match I’ve ever seen (ok so there have been like two) with a decent little story and some nice action. That’s about as good as you can ask for from these two and the eventual title match should be fine. For an opening match, this was a rather nice little surprise.

Video on the weekend’s house shows. Attendance must be down again.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel and the guests are the ten finalists in the Diva Search. Jericho plugs the voting opening tonight where you can pick your favorite but the one with the fewest votes is gone. The women get to introduce themselves and we have Michelle (McCool), Christy (Hemme), Julie (from Kentucky, as people should be), Camille, Maria (Kanellis), Tracie, Carmella (DeCesare), Chandra (the twin of the other one from Kentucky), Amy (Weber) and Joy (Giovanni), all of whom are booed out of the building.

Jericho gets to the point of tonight: there’s an immunity envelope in Eric Bischoff’s office and they’re all going to destroy the place to find it. Jericho marches them through the building to the office (Jericho: “I’m the Pied Piper but they’re not rats!”) and they eventually wreck the whole place, including going through Bischoff’s briefcase. This goes on way too long of course and I’m sure the fans who paid for tickets to the show are thrilled to watch a bad reality show segment on a video screen. King has a good question: “What does the immunity envelope look like?”

That’s not actually answered, but here’s Bischoff to yell at all of them for wrecking the office. As it turns out, there is no envelope because Bischoff is in charge of the whole contest and came up with the whole idea. They admit that Jericho put them up to it while doing their model stances and smirking through the entire thing. This is up there on the list of all time worst ideas in Raw history and it’s only going to get worse.

Tyson Tomko vs. Hurricane

Tomko has Trish with him so Hurricane debuts Stacy Keibler as his new manager. Stacy offers an early distraction but Tomko is fine enough to slam Hurricane off the top. The Blockbuster gets Hurricane out of trouble for a bit and a running dropkick sends Tomko into the corner. Trish goes after Hurricane so he grabs her hair, allowing Tomko to kick Hurricane in the face for the pin. Why debut the new manager if he’s going to lose in less than two minutes?

Post match Trish hits Stacy with the cast but here’s Rosey, now with an actual superhero costume, for the save. You could have done the same thing without Hurricane losing that way.

HHH talks to Batista about his upcoming match.

King reads some excerpts from Ric Flair’s book where he buries Bret Hart and Mick Foley. Probably just jealous that their books are better.

Chris Benoit vs. Batista

Non-title. The early chops just annoy Batista so Benoit goes with the rolling German suplexes instead. Batista is up too fast for the Swan Dive so Benoit goes with a basement dropkick. That doesn’t work either so Batista grabs a backbreaker to take him down. Benoit takes him down and tries a Sharpshooter but gets kicked away. The big German suplex sends Batista outside so Benoit tries the Crossface out there.

Since that would be a big waste of time, Batista shrugs him off and into the post to really take over. Back in and Batista chokes away before raining down right hands to the head. The fans get behind Benoit so Batista crushes his head with a knee. With Benoit’s comebacks getting on his nerves, Batista ties his foot on the rope and kicks Benoit in the head….for a DQ.

Rating: C+. That’s how you make Batista look like a monster as Benoit, even at his best, couldn’t do anything to stop him. Batista looked awesome here with some of the best stuff he’s done so far. His improvements over the last year, or even six months, have been nothing short of remarkable as he’s turned into one of the better monsters I’ve seen in a long time. Very entertaining match here, with Batista getting a lot out of it.

Post match Batista beats on Benoit even more, drawing some cheers (hometown boy might have something to do with it). JR points out that Batista never tried to pin him, because that wasn’t the point of the match.

During the break, Benoit could barely stand.

Lita talks to Matt Hardy in the back but he doesn’t have time for this whole thing. He doesn’t know how to handle the situation, which Lita can understand. One way or another, with or without him though, she’s having the baby. Has no one gotten a blood test yet?

Randy Orton isn’t happy with hearing about his loss because Edge is a fluke. Edge’s first Intercontinental Title reign lasted one day and Orton’s lasted seven months. Edge comes in and talks about Orton having self esteem issues. Edge: “I’d have self esteem issues too if my dad made his career being Roddy Piper’s personal b****.” The rematch is set for tonight.

How to vote in the Diva Search. This is edited out of the Network version.

Chris Jericho vs. Kane

Jericho goes straight at him to start and Kane charges into a raised boot in the corner. That just annoys Kane, who drops some elbows for two. Kane misses a charge in the corner though and Jericho nails a top rope back elbow for two of his own. The Lionsault hurts Jericho’s knee though and they head outside where Jericho posts him a few times. An enziguri is enough to get Kane counted out in a bit of a surprising finish.

It’s so surprising that Bischoff says we’ll redo it as a falls count anywhere match with no countouts or DQ. Back from a break with Kane in control but getting low bridged to the floor. That means a big dive off the top for two on the floor so Kane drops him face first onto the barricade for the same. They fight into the crowd with Kane sending him into a barricade for two. A drop toehold sends Kane face first into a hockey board and a camera crane to the face makes it a lot worse. Cue Batista to blast Jericho with the clothesline and Kane gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Not too bad here with Batista again getting a nice rub. Jericho could go toe to toe with Kane for a good while but Batista takes him out with a single clothesline? Speaking of which, it’s a clothesline, but they’re getting it over by having it be devastating. That’s the case with any move: let it win matches and the move will be over because wins and losses still matter to fans.

We go to some highlights from the Diva Search Casting Special, where all ten were chosen. In other words, it’s an excuse to have them all in swimsuits. That’s all well and good for one of these specials but keep it far off Raw, especially with the long segments.

Here they are again, this time in bikinis. In case you haven’t established that they look great yet.

Smackdown Rebound.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Edge

Edge is defending after winning the title last week. Orton takes him down in very short order and it’s already a staredown. This time it’s Edge wrestling him down and it’s an exchange of waistlocks. They both try dropkicks for another stalemate until Orton sends Edge to the apron where he snaps Randy’s arm over the rope. Orton takes him to the floor and drops Edge back first onto the barricade to send Edge into the crowd. That allows Orton to pose a bit (a specialty) before we take a break.

Back with Orton twisting Edge’s neck and dropping a knee for two. The chinlock goes on so Orton can rip at Edge’s face until the comeback is on. They hit stereo crossbodies for a double knockdown but Edge scores with a big boot. An Oklahoma roll gives Edge two and he spears Orton out to the floor for a crash into the barricade. Back in and Edge scores with the missile dropkick for two more.

The regular spear misses so Edge settles for a neckbreaker for another near fall. The referee gets bumped and that means it’s time to grab a chair. Edge cuts him down with the spear but there’s still no referee. Orton’s low blow into an RKO gets the very slow two and Edge is right back with another spear for another near fall. Another RKO is countered into a backslide and Edge throws his feet onto the ropes for the pin (cheating again).

Rating: B. I liked it better than the Vengeance match because it cut out the long and boring sequence at the start to get us straight to the awesome stuff that these two can do against each other. Edge cheating is still weird to see in his current run, but hopefully it’s leading somewhere. Good, solid, back and forth match here as both guys continue to look great.

Edge points to his head and the announcers plug the Iron Man match to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The Diva Search stuff killed the show but Batista got a nice push and the main event was very good. Other than that though, it’s a pretty forgettable show without much of interest going on. HHH going after the World Title again was expected but it was nice to have Eugene gone for a week. He’s already overstayed his welcome (at least this version of him has) so cutting down on him for a week or two is a good idea. Not a very good show, but it had good parts when you ignore all the bad ideas.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6