Impact Wrestling – September 29, 2016: So Close Now
Impact Wrestling Date: September 29, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
It’s an interesting show this week for very different reasons. Above all else (at least in theory) this is the go home show for Bound For Glory. However, if the rumors are true, there’s also a strong chance that this is one of the, if not the very, last episodes of the show in general. Let’s get to it.
Jeremy Borash is in the ring to introduce Ethan Carter III and Lashley as the captains for tonight’s Lethal Lockdown. We’re going to get something like a live draft with the following teams announced:
Lashley, Drew Galloway, Mike Bennett, Maria Kanellis
Carter, Aron Rex, Moose, Gail Kim
The captains talk a lot of trash and say this is all that matters to them at the pay per view. Lashley isn’t like the people Carter has beaten because he can end Ethan’s career. Carter has a challenge: the two of them starting Lethal Lockdown one on one. Lashley agrees.
X-Division Title: Eddie Edwards vs. DJZ
DJZ is defending after accepting Edwards’ challenge last week. They chop it out to start until DJZ gets in a hurricanrana to send Eddie outside. DJZ’s flip dive doesn’t work though and it’s Eddie sending the champ into the barricade for a suicide dive. A sitout powerbomb gets two for Eddie but he takes too long going for the Boston Knee Party, allowing DJZ to hit a ZDT to retain at 5:34.
Rating: C. Well that happened. This was yet another match that probably should have been at Bound For Glory but instead let’s throw it on here for five minutes with no time to develop. As usual there’s nothing significant going on in the X-Division and there’s no title match announced three days before the biggest show of the year. I’m sure some multi-man match will be added on because that’s how this division works.
Post match the Helms Dynasty comes out and beats up both guys.
Maria yells at Allie some more when Laura comes in. Allie looks like she’s about to cry as Maria says this is what a woman should look like.
Mike Bennett and Moose had a sitdown interview earlier with Moose talking about how he’s dealt with people like Bennett for his entire football career. Bennett says this isn’t football and promises to teach Moose a lesson on Sunday. Moose says after he beats Bennett all around the ring, the fans will be chanting one name.
Madison Rayne vs. Laurel Van Ness
Laurel offers Madison a chance to kiss her hand before the match but Madison forearms her in the face. That means it’s time for a trip to the floor so Allie can check Laurel’s makeup. Back in and Laurel gets in a few slaps as even Josh is sounding bored with this match. Laurel hits a curb stomp for the pin at 3:56.
Rating: D. We’re three days away from the biggest show of the year and TNA is showcasing a newcomer instead of building up the matches they’ve got coming up. It says a lot when Josh Matthews, who can get hyped over whatever latest stupid sitcom he’s shilling for Pop, sounds like he’d rather be anywhere else. Laurel was watchable and the gimmick works but not the right time to debut it.
Allie announces Laurel as the winner, as per Maria’s orders.
Lashley offers a title shot to anyone who takes Ethan out.
Drew Galloway is in the ring and calls out Aron Rex for a chat. Galloway talks about how he made this the place to be (for unemployment checks) so you’re welcome. Rex: “First of all, get your own catchphrase.” Aron promises to beat Drew up like a greasy haired loser so Drew brings up the stuntman. This Sunday there can only be one and that’s going to be Drew Galloway. Security comes out to break up the brawl but both guys get in cheap shots.
Decay promises to destroy the Hardys.
Long recap of Decay vs. House Hardy.
Reby Hardy vs. Rosemary
Reby throws her around to start but gets choked down. Some forearms to the back have Reby in trouble but she grabs a Twist of Fate, only to have Steve get on the apron for a distraction. Reby goes after Steve and it’s the mist to Reby’s eyes for the DQ at 3:10.
Rating: D-. Yeah this was all you could have expected. Neither of them are regular wrestlers and the “match” was your old school Divas catfight instead of anything resembling wrestling. This feud can’t end quickly enough for me as I’m tired of hearing them say the same things for months on end.
Post match the big brawl breaks out and Rosemary gives Reby a Side Effect through a table.
Lashley wins the coin toss for his team.
Back from a break, Decay beats on Matt and Jeff even more. They fight to the back where Matt is electrocuted by a cable and we go to three camera shots at once with Steve shouting DECAY.
Cody Rhodes vignette.
Maria and Gail have another sitdown interview with Maria insisting on being introduced properly. They insult each other a few times and argue over whether the title or the Hall of Fame is more important.
Tyrus is talking about the Bound For Gold match when Eli Drake interrupts. A business partnership is offered but Tyrus isn’t interested. Then what’s the point of his character?
We run down the Bound For Glory card. The X-Division Title isn’t mentioned.
Ethan gives his team a pep talk.
Team Carter vs. Team Lashley
This is Lethal Lockdown, meaning there’s a cage with weapons around the ring. Two men will start for five minutes and then Lashley’s team sends in a man for a 2-1 advantage for two minutes. After those two minutes are up, Team Carter sends in a second man to even things up. The teams alternate every two minutes until all eight are in. At that point the cage roof lowers and it’s one fall to a finish.
Carter is in the ring to start but Lashley sends Bennett out to start instead. They slug it out to start with Carter getting the better of it, only to walk into a spinebuster. A clothesline gets Carter out of trouble and both guys are down until it’s Galloway giving Lashley’s team their advantage. The beating is on and we take a break.
Back with Rex coming in to even things up and the good guys take over, as is always the case in these things. Lashley gives his team another advantage as the clock is all over the place here. There’s nothing to talk about here as they’re just hitting each other over and over during these periods. Moose even things up and hits a spinning crossbody but everything evens out until it’s Maria coming down the ramp.
Bennett tells her not to get in though so the brawling continue until Gail Kim comes out and throws Maria inside. That lasts all of ten seconds as Maria runs out with Gail chasing her up the ramp. I’m SO glad they were added here and not, say, whoever is in the X-Division Title match. Ah right, WE DON’T HAVE ONE OF THOSE FOR THE PAY PER VIEW.
Back from another break with Lashley’s team in full control until Lashley has them stop for a meeting, allowing Rex to come back with a chair shot. Moose and Rex take turns beating Lashley down with various weapons. Bennett gets in a pipe shot on Rex and superkicks a chair into Moose’s face.
Moose does the same thing with a dropkick but walks into the Futureshock. It’s down to Carter vs. Lashley with Ethan winning a slugout and sending him head first into the cage. The TK3 is no sold so Lashley spears him down and grabs the head and arms choke. Carter goes for the ropes but it doesn’t matter inside the cage. Ethan passes out at 29:03.
Rating: C+. The women being a big waste of time aside, this was a standard Lethal Lockdown with an odd ending as Carter probably shouldn’t lose to end the go home show. Lashley continues to look dominant and he probably should drop the title on Sunday. The other people were really just background noise here, which is why this was such a waste of a gimmick. Just do an eight person tag or something.
Lashley’s choice for the main event: no holds barred.
Overall Rating: D+. Bound For Glory, assuming it happens, really isn’t looking that hot on paper and this show didn’t do it many favors. The matches have all been built up well enough but they’re still not interesting. The main event being no holds barred doesn’t do much for me and the X-Division still not having a match isn’t much better. The company certainly isn’t heading in on a high note but that’s pretty standard anymore.
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Bound For Glory 2016 Date: October 2, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
It’s the big night for TNA and the question looming is more about the future than anything else going on tonight. As for this show though, we have Ethan Carter III challenging Lashley for the TNA World Title, the crowning of the first TNA Grand Champion and the Great War between Decay and the Hardys for the TNA World Tag Team Titles. Let’s get to it.
We open with Matt Hardy and his son Maxell playing the piano. Matt stops to read a story, which serves as our opening recap for all of the matches.
The announcers welcome us to the show.
X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. DJZ
DJZ is defending and this is a bonus match because the TOTALLY IMPORTANT X-DIVISION didn’t have time to get a match announced on TV. Lee gets taken down with a wristlock and we get a breather on the floor. Back in and a dropkick makes things even worse for Lee but he gets in an uppercut to take over. A running kick to the face has DJZ in even more trouble but it leaves him on the floor to frustrate Lee a bit more.
The champ is thrown back in and grabs a flapjack, followed by a top rope hurricanrana to make it even worse. They trade dives with Lee getting the better of it but DJZ reverses a German suplex into a reverse hurricanrana. The ZDT is countered with the double stomp but DJZ reverses a suplex into a Canadian Destroyer of all things. Now the ZDT connects to retain the title at 11:08.
Rating: B. See, this is what’s so frustrating about the X-Division: if TNA will actually give them the time, they can have a fast paced match like this one. However, no one is going to be able to entertain on a regular basis when they’re getting three minutes with no reason for these people to be fighting. Just give them a chance and they can do their job. That and don’t have a main eventer steal the title for the sake of a World Title storyline that cuts the legs off whatever the division has built up for months.
Drew Galloway says he’s out for a long time and he’s very mad at TNA for making decisions for him. He goes into a rant about Billy Corgan not being allowed to tell him not to go on because Corgan would perform if he was told not to. Drew also slips in that Corgan is trying to buy the company.
Bound For Gold
This is a gauntlet match with the winner getting a future World Title shot, albeit with a one week warning. It’s a Royal Rumble to start until we get down to two people when it becomes a regular match. Jesse Godderz is in at #1 and Rockstar Spud is in at #2. Godderz dominates to start and after a minute and a half, Braxton Sutter is in at #3.
Spud’s double clothesline has no effect but he fights off an elimination until Eli Drake is in at #4. Drake throws Sutter out and the fans do his YEAH catchphrase to mess with Eli’s head. Robbie E. is in at #5 and the BroMans start cleaning house, only to have Robbie try to throw Jesse out. Jesse doesn’t take kindly to this and it’s Baron Dax in at #6.
No one is thrown out and it’s Grado in at #7, only to have Drake throw him out in two seconds. The BroMans double team Drake and Basile Baraka is in at #8. The eliminations start speeding up as Baraka, Dax and Robbie are eliminated in very short order. Tyrus is in at #9 and the monster starts cleaning house. Spud tries to hug him, earning himself a quick elimination. Spud: “WHY?????”
Mahabali Shera completes the field at #10, giving us a final group of Shera, Tyrus, Godderz and Drake. Tyrus slams into Shera and throws him out to get us down to three. Drake is sent over the top but hangs on by his ankles, leaving Tyrus to give Godderz a World’s Strongest Slam. A few dropkicks stagger Tyrus but Drake sneaks back in for the double elimination at 15:08.
Rating: D+. It was boring but this was WAY better than last year’s version. Last year this took up nearly twenty five minutes and was won by Tyrus. This year took up nearly ten minutes less and was won by ANYONE but Tyrus, making it better by definition. Drake winning is by far the right call and I’d love to see him move up to the main event. He’s one of the most consistently entertaining people on the roster.
Celebrity chef Robert Irvine is here to watch Gail Kim be inducted into the Hall of Fame. Maria and Mike Bennett come in to say tonight is about them.
We recap Mike Bennett vs. Moose, which is an old standard with Bennett bringing Moose in and then taking him for granted. Moose isn’t going to take orders and is ready to fight for himself tonight.
Mike Bennett vs. Moose
For some reason Moose gets a full special entrance as a football team in full pads comes out to shout that it’s game time. Bennett hammers away to no avail to start, allowing Moose to dropkick him off the top. Mike slides back in for a running flip dive but Moose throws him ribs first into the post. The monster’s knee is sent into the steps though and Mike stomps away to take over.
Moose fights up again and hits some running clotheslines, followed by a very hard clothesline. Mike comes back with a tornado DDT and a piledriver for two. Even more clotheslines have Bennett reeling but he catches a top rope clothesline in a cutter. That goes nowhere as Moose grabs the chokebomb and hits a discus lariat for the pin at 10:10.
Rating: C-. This was just there and Moose uses WAY too many clotheslines but it was entertaining enough. The problem is they never sold me on the personal animosity. It felt like they pulled the plug in a hurry for the sake of setting up a Bound For Glory match even if it wasn’t time yet. The match was watchable (overuse of clotheslines aside) but it never got beyond ok.
Aron Rex has had to change his gameplan for Eddie Edwards. They were trained by the same man and Rex is here to prove he’s a champion.
Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Eddie Edwards
For the inaugural title and the rounds are now five minutes long instead of three. Feeling out process to start with neither being able to go anywhere in the first two minutes. Eddie snaps off a hurricanrana but gets caught in the Russian legsweep. Rex is sent outside for a big flip dive and both guys are down. A few more shots have Eddie in control and round one ends.
Eddie wins the first round so Rex is much more aggressive to start the second round. Some hard chops have Eddie in trouble and Rex starts in on the knee. Rex grabs an Indian Deathlock and THE LIGHTS GO OUT. Not as in an angle but as in the lights just stopped working. Fans: “PAY THE LIGHT BILL!” They come back on as Rex puts on a modified Sharpshooter for a few moments. Some knees to the back get two and the round ends.
Rex wins the second round (which he dominated) but Eddie starts round three with a knee to the face for two. The fans want Davey as Eddie misses something off the top and tweaks his knee. We hit two minutes to go as Rex is sat on top but he throws Eddie back down. The Revelator misses and Eddie gets in a Shining Wizard but can’t cover as the match ends at 16:28.
Rating: C+. First and foremost, if they just have to keep this round system going, they have to stick with the five minute rounds. You just can’t get anything going in three minutes and the extra time here did them a lot of good. They didn’t have a choice here with the replacement and while it would have been better to have Galloway, Edwards was as good as you were going to get on short notice.
They keep fighting as we go to a judges’ decision with…..Rex winning via a split decision, which was spoiled by the scorecard before the announcement. They shake hands and Rex says Eddie can have a rematch anytime you want. Rex says they made history tonight and stay tuned for the second part.
It’s time for the Hall of Fame induction with special guests Christy Hemme, Taryn Terrell (pregnant but in a dress that hides it very well) and Awesome Kong, who looks like she’s lost about 50lbs. They all say some nice words for Gail until Dixie Carter comes out (getting booed out of the building in the process) for the long introduction.
Gail comes to the ring and introduces a video tribute, with Al Snow, Billy Corgan and Jade doing most of the talking. Gail reads a quick speech and thanks everyone for helping her get here, including a lot of WWE women and everyone backstage. This was nice and it’s hard to make fun of something rather classy.
We recap Decay vs. the Hardys in the Great War. Decay took the titles earlier in the year and the Hardys invited them to North Carolina for Final Deletion II. This is a match with unclear rules with the titles on the line.
Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Decay
Decay is defending. Reby Hardy, in a very long red dress, plays her family to the ring on a live piano. The women are in the ring as well to start and there are weapons around the ring. It’s a wild brawl to start of course and Reby is misted early on, meaning she has to go to the back. Steve clotheslines Matt and says he wants to break his back. Matt saves himself from a suplex but Rosemary throws in a trashcan.
Abyss and Jeff are nowhere to be seen as Rosemary comes in with a Van Terminator of all things to give Steve two on the floor. Back in the ring, Abyss staples Jeff in the forehead. Josh: “Somebody is teeing off on somebody on the other side of the Impact Zone.” Thanks for that information Josh. Matt and Abyss fight to the back with Abyss punching out a referee. Steve and Jeff join them with Decay in control. Jeff tries to reach a bucket labeled “Lake of Reincarnation” but Steve hits him with a music stand.
Back to Matt and Abyss, who fight over by a Universal Studios sign before Steve pours the bucket over Jeff…..who has disappeared. There’s no commentary as Jeff (presumably) throws pumpkins at Steve. We see Jeff, who is now some kind of steampunk pimp with a southern accent, and says he’s Jeff’s friend. Matt and Abyss fight in front of a car as Rosemary returns to slap Jeff, earning herself a pumpkin over the head as Jeff shouts like the Joker. Steve takes Jeff down and tells Rosemary to go help Abyss, who is throwing Matt against a truck.
Some “fan” appears and offers to fight Abyss because he’s on Team Delete. That’s fine with Rosemary who takes him out with one shot. Back to Jeff, who pulls out an umbrella and turns into Willow. Abyss has Janice but Matt throws fire from his hands to set it on fire. “Janice you look so hot.” Someone steals a truck with Abyss and Matt fighting in the back but it’s cut off by Vanguard 1, who chases Rosemary off. More shouting ensues and we cut back to the Impact Zone where Willow brings Steve back inside. Willow grabs a ladder as commentary comes back because it’s no longer pre-taped.
Matt and Abyss stagger back inside as well with Abyss suplexing Matt on the ramp. Jeff (no longer Willow) crawls back out from under the ring and baseball slides a table into Steve. The Twist of Fate and Swanton get two on Abyss, who brings out the barbed wire board. Matt takes over and adds in the thumbtacks, followed by a Side Effect onto various sharp objects.
A middle rope elbow sandwiches Abyss between two barbed wire boards for two. The women come back with Reby putting Rosemary through a table. Steve takes Abyss’ place and gets a Twist of Fate with a chair around his neck. Matt sets up two tables and a ladder before stopping to tell Jeff to indulge in his addiction. Jeff Swantons through Steve for the pin and the titles at 22:45.
Rating: C. I have no idea what to think of this but I’ll take the Monster’s Ball part over the Final Deletion part any day. This stuff just isn’t for me and I really don’t know what to say about most of it. The insanity is really creative and you can tell Matt and Jeff have put a lot of thought into the characters but it’s just not my kind of stuff. It’s entertaining but I’d rather watch regular wrestling than whatever this was.
We recap Lethal Lockdown with Lashley picking the main event stipulations.
Lashley is tired of people like EC3 being placed in front of him. Tonight is about teaching a lesson.
Knockouts Title: Maria Kanellis-Bennett vs. Gail Kim
Maria is defending but says she can’t wrestle because her hand is still broken. Allie says she has good news: the doctor said she’s cleared to wrestle. Maria: “You are so stupid!” The bell rings anyway and Maria clotheslines Gail on the floor. They head inside with Maria slamming Gail head first onto the mat to set up a chinlock.
Gail fights up so Mike Bennett throws in the brace for a shot to the head. That’s only good for two and Allie is caught with the brace, earning her more yelling from Maria. Gail picks the brace off and throws it away before starting with the real beating. The Figure Four around the post has Maria screaming and Eat Defeat (after a double middle finger to Maria) gives Gail the title back at 5:18.
Rating: D. Well this was about as boring as they could have gone but that’s TNA and Gail Kim in a nutshell. Gail just wins the title back because that’s what she does and all the stuff with Sienna, Laurel and even Allie means nothing at this point. Allie will probably go somewhere soon but this really, really didn’t do anything for me.
Bennett goes into a tirade against the fans for trying to screw his family over so it’s time to shut this show down. The lights go out (on purpose this time) and here are the debuting Cody (no longer Rhodes/Runnels) and Brandi (who can be called Rhodes). Maria starts yelling at Cody so Brandi gets in her face, earning Maria a knee to the head. The brawl is on with Cody hitting the Beautiful Disaster. This wasn’t much and felt really thrown together.
Quick recap of Carter vs. Lashley. Carter is the latest person to come after the title and Lashley has promised to treat him like everyone who has come before.
TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley
No Holds Barred with Lashley defending. Lashley spears Ethan during the Big Match Intros and then allows JB to finish his introduction. Why don’t more people do that? Carter says ring the bell anyway but Lashley runs him over with a clothesline. Some clotheslines from Ethan put Lashley on the floor but the champ shrugs off everything Ethan throws at him.
A quick Dominator has Carter in more trouble and Lashley throws him onto the ramp. Back in and Carter throws him with a t-bone suplex, followed by an elbow to the jaw for two. Carter hammers away but gets speared again to cut him in half. Lashley gets the title but walks into a snap German suplex for two before rolling out to the floor. A TK3 on the steps knocks Lashley silly but they’re still outside.
Back in and the third spear gets two on Carter before Lashley just unloads on him with a chair. A Rock Bottom into a side choke has Carter in trouble but he grabs the referee’s leg to keep the match going. Ethan fights up and rolls some German suplexes, setting up the 1%er for two. A super 1%er is broken up and a middle rope spear pins Carter at 16:12.
Rating: C+. If that’s their biggest match of the year, they’re in big trouble. The match was fine but this could have been on any given episode of Impact instead of main eventing the biggest show of the year. Lashley winning is acceptable enough but who in the world is supposed to challenge him now? Moose? Good enough match here but really anti-climactic and the no holds barred thing didn’t matter at all.
And….that’s it. No big debut, no special announcement, nothing out of the ordinary. Lashley just poses and the show ends.
Overall Rating: C. Of all the things TNA could have done, this was probably the worst option. They did NOTHING special here, unless you count the X-Division Title getting a standard match with more than ten minutes for once. The wrestling was really just a bit longer than what you would see on a regular Impact and that’s not saying much. I didn’t hate the show but it was just there.
Nothing really stands out (Final Deletion stuff has been done already) and the ending just happened. Why are people so worried about what happens to this company? The show was fine but absolutely nothing beyond that and that’s not good on your biggest night of the year. As usual, TNA does just enough to scrape by and that’s (partially) why they’re in the shape they’re in: they do little more than exist with nothing outside of Matt’s insanity doing anything fresh. This was disappointing and I’m really not surprised by that, which is a major problem.
Results
DJZ b. Trevor Lee – DJZ
Eli Drake won Bound For Gold last eliminating Tyrus and Jesse Godderz
Moose b. Mike Bennett – Discus lariat
Aron Rex b. Eddie Edwards via split decision
Hardys b. Decay – Swanton Bomb through a table
Gail Kim b. Maria Kanellis-Bennett – Eat Defeat
Lashley b. Ethan Carter III – Middle rope spear
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Impact Wrestling – September 22, 2016: Is It Too Late To Turn Around?
Impact Wrestling Date: September 22, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
There are two weeks left before Bound For Glory and a lot of the card has been filled in. Tonight we have the two semifinal matches in the Grand Championship tournament and more of the build towards Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley for the TNA World Title. We’re to the point where everything is about setting up the pay per view so let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Lashley and Moose brawling to end last week’s show until Ethan Carter III came out for the save.
Grand Championship Title Tournament Semifinals: Drew Galloway vs. Eddie Edwards
Josh tries to get “Scottish Dragon” over as Drew’s latest nickname. It’s better than the Leonidas of TNA. Drew chops away to start but Eddie backflips out of a suplex and kicks Drew out to the floor. The suicide dive connects, only to have Drew pop back up with a tilt-a-whirl slam onto the apron. Drew rolls some suplexes for two before getting in some right hands to “break down the guard” to end the first round.
Drew wins the first round so Eddie scores with a running clothesline to start the second round. A super hurricanrana gets two on Galloway and Eddie ties him in the Tree of Woe, only to have Drew sit up into a belly to belly superplex. The Boston Knee Party sends Drew outside and back to back suicide dives has Eddie in full control to end the second round.
Eddie wins the second round to tie it up and starts fast by going after the knee. That’s reversed into the Iron Maiden but Eddie reverses into one of his own. Eddie shifts over into some leg holds so Drew kicks him in the face. That’s one way to do it. They chop it out with Drew getting the better of it and hitting a Razor’s Edge buckle bomb. Eddie gets an enziguri but walks into the Futureshock for two as time expires at 10:17.
Rating: B-. And that’s why I don’t like this tournament structure. This was one of the better matches TNA had put on in a few weeks if not months but the stupid rounds and time limit made sure that they couldn’t keep going because we need to end this match at nine minutes. To be fair though, how else are we going to get in more vignettes of Vanguard I and Senor Benjamin playing chess?
The judges give it to Drew on a split decision. Again, the points aren’t actually mentioned and they would have the same result if they just had the judges vote on a winner instead of giving numbers. But hey, why do what makes sense when you can make it more complicated?
Post match Drew says his match will be the real main event of Bound For Glory because nothing can follow him. This brings out Ethan Carter III, who doesn’t like Drew suggesting that he’s the better man. Drew thinks it’s interesting how Ethan comes out on his feet all the time and offers him a Grand Championship shot. As Drew leaves, Ethan says he can beat Drew anywhere anytime but here’s Lashley to interrupt. Mike Bennett runs in from behind to beat on Drew and it’s a double beatdown. Cue Moose but the good guys are left laying.
Allie is trying to find people to help with Maria Kanellis’ public workout but Maria comes up to yell at her again.
Aron Rex and Eli Drake are ready for their semifinal match.
Bennett asks Lashley if they’re friends but Lashley says he has no friends. Mike thinks he can get a title shot by beating Moose but Lashley stares him down.
Grand Championship Title Tournament Semifinals: Aron Rex vs. Eli Drake
Before the bell, Drake tells Rex to stay off the mic because he can’t hang at this level. Rex laughs off the insults and says he’s going to tell the tale of Eli Drake. Eli is the offspring of an out of work Chippendale dancer and a Muppet and has bad taste in knee pads. That’s a little rude but not exactly Drake was probably more insulting. Rex needs to stick with being smart and not trying to be a Rock knockoff.
They trade headlocks to start as it’s a very simple first minute. Rex’s Russian legsweep looks to set up the Wind-Up Elbow but Drew bails to the floor. A sideslam looks to set up the Edgecator on Drake but the first round wraps up. Round one goes to Rex but he still can’t get the Edgecator to start the second.
Drake pops him in the jaw a few times and grabs a chinlock, which really isn’t the best idea in a match this short. A jumping neckbreaker gets two on Aron and Drake pounds him down to end the second round. Drake wins the second and Rex is in trouble to start the final round. Not that it matters as Rex hits his discus punch (the Revelator) for the pin at 8:43.
Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad and yet again the time limit really hurt things. We’ve spent the better part of a month setting up a final that’s going to have a nine minute time limit for a big fight between people who want to hurt each other. Drake deserves a bit better than this but at least they’re giving a rub to someone with potential.
Decay promises to destroy the Hardys in the Great War but they catch Vanguard I spying on them. A Senor Benjamin hologram pops up to laugh at them as Vanguard I flies away.
Rex is talking about his win when Galloway pops up to say he’ll win, though Aron disagrees.
We see a man walking to his car and talking about his past being behind. He gets in his car and the reveal is Cody Rhodes (just Cody here), who will debut at Bound For Glory.
Here’s Decay with a message for the Hardys. Rosemary says the Great War will be the end of every last Hardy. More destruction is promised until Matt Hardy appears in the crowd to say this is a world of magic. The battlefield for the Great War will be the entire world so Matt can delete the title reign. Jeff shows up to say they’ll twist Decay’s fate and Abyss will no longer be beautiful, Steve won’t be crazy and Rosemary won’t be rosy anymore. The lights go out and come back up to reveal Steve and Abyss tied to the ropes. Reby shows up to spear Rosemary but she can’t get a Twist of Fate. Reby promises to take care of her soon.
Ethan Carter III and Moose fire each other up.
X-Division Champion DJZ comes out and issues an open challenge for a title match.
X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Trevor Lee
Lee is challenging and starts fast with a slam to work on DJZ’s back. The champ fights back and sends Lee outside for a big flip dive to take out Lee and Andrew Everett. Back in and a middle rope back elbow to the jaw rocks Lee, followed by a springboard hurricanrana. The ZDT retains the title at 3:45.
Rating: C-. So much for the X-Division being revitalized. This was just like most X-Division matches you’ve seen in the last few years: no reason for it to happen other than “let’s have a match”, nothing special for wrestling, almost no time and the same people fighting for the title that have been fighting for it since I can remember. It’s not a bad match or anything but it’s really lazy storytelling.
Post match Everett and Lee (they’re still the Helms Dynasty despite Helms not being around in months) beat on DJZ until Eddie Edwards makes the save. Edwards asks for a title match next week and DJZ says it’s on.
Maria yells at Allie for being stupid like Gail Kim. Allie is crushed, again.
Here are Maria, Allie and Sienna for Maria’s public workout. Maria yells at Allie and tells her to get out of the camera shot because no one wants to see her. Sienna deserves a title shot but isn’t going to get one tonight. An unnamed opponent comes out and gets beaten up by Sienna, allowing Maria to get the first pin in about thirty seconds. Allie doesn’t have a second opponent because she already found the easiest opponent she could. Maria berates her again so here’s a woman in all black, including a mask. Yeah I think you know where this one is going.
The masked woman easily takes Maria to the mat and reveals herself as Gail Kim. Sienna comes in for the save but Gail beats her down too and sends the other heels running. There’s an interesting story here, assuming you completely remove Gail from the match. Every part of this looks to be setting up Allie taking the title from Maria but no, let’s have Gail Kim get the title shot instead. Maybe Maria retains anyway and loses to Allie down the road but that should be at the pay per view, not some TV match later on.
Same Cody vignette from earlier. They really couldn’t film two of these?
We run down the Bound For Glory card.
Ethan Carter III/Moose vs. Lashley/Mike Bennett
Bennett drops to the floor at the opening bell so Lashley gets beaten down by both opponents. We take a break about a minute in and come back with Bennett hitting a cutter for two on Carter. Bennett sends Carter into the corner but punches Lashley by mistake. The hot tag brings in Moose and everything breaks down. Carter grabs a quick rollup to pin Bennett at 8:35.
Rating: D. What the heck was that? Most of this was in the commercial and the ending felt like it was out of nowhere. Carter vs. Lashley and Bennett vs. Moose don’t feel like big matches and that’s a really bad sign for two of the top three matches at the biggest show of the year. Not good here and not a good way to set things up.
Post match Lashley and Carter brawl with wrestlers and referees barely able to hold them back. Cue Billy Corgan to say that’s not how this is going down. Next week we’re starting Bound For Glory early with Team Lashley vs. Team Carter with the winning team getting to pick the stipulations for the title match. Oh and let’s just make it Lethal Lockdown. You know, because THE BIGGEST GIMMICK MATCH TNA HAS SHOULD BE USED TO SET UP ANOTHER MATCH.
Overall Rating: C. This show did its job of helping to build a lot of stuff at Bound For Glory but it’s still not the most interesting stuff in the world. Nothing on the card feels like a must see match and that’s not how you want the biggest show of the year to go. Lashley vs. Carter has been done before and I’m really not excited about seeing them fight again. It’s better than what they’ve done in recent years but this is really not doing much for me right now.
Results
Drew Galloway b. Eddie Edwards via judges’ decision
Aron Rex b. Eli Drake – Revelator
DJZ b. Trevor Lee – ZDT
Ethan Carter III/Moose b. Lashley/Mike Bennett – Rollup to Bennett
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Impact Wrestling – September 1, 2016: Ghosts Of Final Deletions Gone By
Impact Wrestling Date: September 1, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
The countdown to Bound For Glory 2016 continues as we have five more weeks before the biggest show of the year. Things have changed a bit coming out of last week as Drew Galloway has turned heel by attacking Aron Rex, likely setting up Rex’s first feud and a Bound For Glory match. Let’s get to it.
We open with Reby (who looks like Matt from behind) and the Hardys playing the piano and singing the Obsolete song. Even Senor Benjamin, Vanguard One and Maxill get in on the sing a long. Maxill’s piano playing give Matt a pre-mo-nition that the battle with Decay will take place here at the Hardy Compound instead of at the Zone of Impact. Matt is worried but Reby has a sword to protect herself and Maxill.
In the arena (and out of that insanity), Mike Bennett and Maria are here for a chat. Mike is here to complete his kingdom of miracles by winning the World Title tonight. He’s so successful because he surrounds himself with people like Maria and Moose, who Mike would like to come down to settle things. Instead here’s Lashley to say he doesn’t have to fake confidence like Bennett does.
Lashley is so confident that he’s willing to let tonight’s title match be No DQ. Bennett thinks Lashley is jealous of Moose and doesn’t believe that they went to dinner last week. The champ says they did go to dinner (Are we on a Disney sitcom?) and maybe Lashley smartened him up a bit. Moose comes out to say he’s let his actions do the talking and tonight he’ll determine who wins the title. Bennett takes that as Moose saying he’ll win but Moose says not so fast before leaving.
Matt Hardy vs. Crazzy Steve
They look at each other to start because both of them are a bit insane. Steve dropkicks the knee out and we hit the chinlock. The fight goes outside with the fans telling Matt to DELETE him. So they want Steve to join Matt’s team? Jeff hits Steve with a boot a few times and the Twist of Fate puts Steve away at 4:20.
Rating: D. I’m very bored with the Hardys anytime they’re just having matches. The gimmick is so insane that it’s entertaining at times and the second Final Deletion (you know that’s coming) should be fun but the actual wrestling is just Matt and Jeff looking old and boring. Steve continues to be more of a character than good but he works well with Abyss so that’s a step up.
Post match Steve gets the mic and says Decay is at the Hardy Compound and Maxill is now Rosemary’s baby.
The X-Division guys try to explain the X-Division and basically say it’s about being fearless. So we can expect Nikki Bella showing up when?
After a break, Matt calls Reby (with his phone actually saying Broken Matt Hardy) but she doesn’t answer. The camera in the Hardy Compound shows Rosemary looking at Maxill.
X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. DJZ vs. Andrew Everett vs. Mandrews vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Rockstar Spud
The title is vacant coming in and this is a gauntlet match, meaning people are added at fixed intervals but you can pull the title down at any time. Trevor Lee and DJZ start things off and they slug it out for a bit before pulling each other down. Andrew Everett is in third and the time intervals seem to be two and a half minutes. DJZ gets double teamed so the Helms Dynasty (minus Helms showing up lately) goes up at the same time.
A knee to DJZ’s head knocks him silly but here’s Mandrews to break up the title grab attempt. Mandrews gets thrown off the top though and we take a break. Back with a replay package of what we saw before the commercial instead of what we missed. Braxton Sutter entered during the break and here’s Rockstar Spud to complete the field but it’s still too early to get the title with Sutter making the save.
We hit the big streak of dives before people get back in, only to be thrown out or knocked down seconds later. There’s nothing to talk about here as it’s just one move or spot after another with nothing in between. Spud uses a chair to knock Sutter off the cables but it’s the Helms Dynasty going up and grabbing the title at at the same time. No one comes down with it though so DJZ springboards in and pulls the title down to win at 16:23.
Rating: C+. I’m sure this is the revitalization that the X-Division has been needing for years now and that this will be different than the other half dozen times they’ve promised it’s not going to be left by the wayside again. The same problems they always have still apply here: no characters, no storylines other than they all want the title and get thrown together into one match and nothing we haven’t seen before. Fix some of those things and give us an actual story and the division might go somewhere.
Ethan Carter III is talking about his match last week when Eli Drake comes up to challenge him to a match tonight.
Drew Galloway promises an explanation.
We look at Allie accidentally winning the Knockouts Title last week.
Here’s Drew Galloway to explain his actions from last week. Drew says you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. He’s been asking why he stood up for TNA when he first arrived and he’s not sure. When he won the World Title, the celebration went on for a week. Then Ethan Carter http://ambienbuy.net screwed him over three straight times but the fans cheered for him. Then Aron Rex showed up and said the same things he said in his debut but the fans were cheering for him anyway.
Rex wants to be the next Drew Galloway so Drew has to teach him a few things. This brings out Billy Corgan to say Drew’s actions should earn him a suspension without pay but a little bird told him not to do it. Drew accuses Corgan of becoming the establishment and doing everything Dixie Carter tells him. Actually it was Rex who kept Drew from being suspended and here he is for the brawl but security quickly breaks it up. This was good stuff and Rex looked like a star who was on Drew’s level.
Reby answers the phone and Matt says the match tonight was just a setup. She and Maxill will go to the safe room but Vanguard One tells Matt that Rosemary is already there.
Ethan Carter III vs. Eli Drake
Drake is nice enough to spell his name out before they head to the floor with Ethan in control. Back in and Drake takes over with your standard heel offense (I love listening to him talk but his wrestling isn’t great) and escapes the TK3 attempt. A chinlock doesn’t go very far and the second TK3 attempt connects just fine. The 1%er is enough for the pin on Drake at 6:00.
Rating: D+. Not much to this one but there’s nothing wrong with that. This was a main eventer beating a midcarder who got in some offense before losing. That’s a simple booking plan and it works just fine with the big name getting a win over someone with credibility and the midcarder not losing any status because he was fighting a bigger star.
Allie is very excited about her title win and doesn’t mind Maria making her plan her own celebration.
Reby tells Matt to get back here now. Senor Benjamin is holding Maxill.
DJZ celebrates his title win and says he’s ready to defend it.
Here’s Allie for her title celebration. Before she can get anywhere, here are Maria and Sienna to interrupt. Maria sends Sienna to the back and yells at Allie for thinking this is actually about her. Allie screws everything up and couldn’t even get the right color balloons here. This celebration is for Allie’s opponent and Allie needs to lay down right now.
Knockouts Title: Maria Kanellis vs. Allie
Allie lays down and Maria is the new champion in three seconds.
Allie has to fight back tears as she announces Maria as the new champion.
Bennett tries to talk Moose into doing the right thing and hands him a pipe. Moose thinks about it.
Rosemary torments Reby but Senor Benjamin gets Maxill out. Reby tells Benjamin to prepare the field for battle.
TNA World Title: Mike Bennett vs. Lashley
Lashley is defending and this is no DQ. The champ leapfrogs Bennett and does the delayed vertical suplex but here’s Moose to offer a distraction as we take a break. Back with Bennett in control and kicking Lashley in the face. Maria hits Lashley in the head with the cast and the Knockouts Title but Lashley shrugs it off and suplexes Bennett for a breather. A torture rack (good move for Lashley) has Mike in trouble and a spinebuster makes it even worse. Maria breaks up the spear but Moose won’t give Mike the pipe. The distraction allows the spear to connect to retain the title at 10:59.
Rating: C-. This was much more storyline development than an important match, which shouldn’t be the case for a World Title match. Moose turning on Bennett this soon could be interesting but it’s not like they’ve really been a unit long enough to give this much of an impact. Bennett never felt like a threat to the title here and that’s not a good sign.
Post match Bennett yells at Moose and calls him a failed football player. Bennett slaps him in the face so Moose clotheslines Mike’s head off to end the show.
Next week: Decay goes to Cameron. That’s right: FINAL DELETION II!
Overall Rating: D+. I had forgotten how annoying it was to have the show cut back to the Hardy shenanigans every few minutes. It’s not so much the story that gets annoying (though it can) but more the fact that they’ll have something like eight segments (some very short) in two hours. You could stretch this stuff out for weeks but instead we see every few minutes and it’s really easy to get burned out.
The rest of the show was just kind of there. The X-Division Title match was your standard showcase that isn’t likely to lead anywhere, the main event was fine and…..what else really happened here? Rex and Galloway brawled, we had a nothing match between Drake and Carter (it was fine enough) and we have Maria vs. Gail set up in a match that we’ve known was coming for months. I’m not sure why we’re getting it but after all the time they’ve put into it they have to give it to us. This show wasn’t terrible but it got tiresome by the end, mainly due to the constant Hardy segments wearing me down.
Results
Matt Hardy b. Crazzy Steve – Twist of Fate
DJZ b. Mandrews, Rockstar Spud, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Braxton Sutter – DJZ pulled down the title
Ethan Carter III b. Eli Drake – 1%er
Maria Kanellis b. Allie – Allie laid down
Lashley b. Mike Bennett – Spear
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Impact Wrestling – August 18, 2016: Rock N Wrestling II
Impact Wrestling Date: August 18, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
This should be an interesting show as we have the first tapings under Billy Corgan’s watch. For perhaps the first time in at least ten years, we’re looking at an Impact without Dixie Carter running things so it should be interesting to see how things look for a change. We’re also about a month and a half away from Bound For Glory so it’s time to start building towards the show. Let’s get to it.
We open with a look at Lashley collecting all three singles titles.
Lashley walks up to Corgan and Dixie Carter as they talk to Aron Rex. A quick staredown ensues and Lashley keeps walking.
Here’s James Storm to open things up. Storm wants referee Brian Hebner to come out here right now. As luck would have it he’s already at ringside so they get straight to the point. James wants an explanation for why the three count at the bell last week didn’t count. We see a clip of last week’s match and Hebner is trying to get JB out of the ring instead of paying attention.
Storm has a point so he wants a rematch but here’s Corgan to interrupt. Corgan says something about winning a game in the end but Storm correctly says this isn’t football. All that matters is that Storm lost which Corgan says is because he can’t win the big one. That’s not cool with James as he pulls out a tool box and grabs a hammer. He helped build this company and he’ll take it apart limb by limb, which means ripping off the turnbuckle pad to start.
Security comes in but Storm says a wrestler doesn’t need security. He’s the only legend that hasn’t left because he cares about this company. A guard gets a Last Call and Storm gets in Corgan’s face. James will leave now but says it won’t go so well if their paths cross again. Storm leaves so Corgan suspends him indefinitely. I really, really hope this isn’t a sign that Corgan is going to be around all the time.
Moose says Eddie Edwards isn’t going to be a challenge.
Storm leaves in his truck.
Eddie Edwards vs. Moose
Moose throws him into the corner to start so Eddie changes tactics and starts speeding the match up. A dropkick puts Moose on the floor so Eddie can score with a running knee off the apron. It only works for a bit though as Mike Bennett offers a distraction so Moose can powerbomb Eddie onto the apron. Back in and we hit the chinlock before Eddie dropkicks him out of the air (close enough at least). Moose cuts him off with a hard clothesline, only to have Eddie snap off a middle rope hurricanrana. He makes the mistake of hitting a suicide dive on Mike though, allowing Moose to hit a chokebomb for the pin at 6:18.
Rating: C. This was a good way to have Moose look good in his first big singles match and that’s important going forward. Eddie is still in a weird place as he doesn’t have a partner so he’s stuck waiting to bring the Wolves back, but he’s kind of turned himself into a cool singles wrestler who doesn’t have anything to do.
Maria tells Jade that she has to beat Gail Kim or no more title shots.
Gail Kim vs. Jade
Jade spins out of a wristlock to start and gets two off a clothesline. Gail sends it outside but gets caught in a fireman’s carry gutbuster. Back in and Jade avoids a cross body, only to miss a moonsault. A fight over a small package lands on Earl Hebner but Gail grabs Eat Defeat. There’s no cover though as Sienna comes out to go after Gail for the DQ at 5:22.
Rating: D+. Egads I just do not care. I get the story here and it’s fine with what they’re doing, but it works on the assumption that the fans want to see Gail Kim rise up the roster again and win the title for a sixth time. I’d like to see these newer women go somewhere instead of just being fresh victories for Gail as right now it’s not so much of a division as much as it is “who does Gail beat this week”?
Lashley laughs at the X-Division guys (all three of them) and says he has an announcement that’s going to affect the entire division. DJZ decides that the winner of a three way match gets to challenge Lashley for the title.
Rockstar Spud vs. DJZ vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Mandrews
Everyone goes after Spud to start, leaving the other three to all try covers for two each. DJZ dives onto Sutter and Mandrews, followed by Spud teasing a dive but stopping to do something….which we don’t see as the camera cuts to the crowd instead. Back in and Spud goes after Sutter, only to have DJZ take him down with a suplex. A roll into a double DDT on Mandrews and Sutter is enough for DJZ to pin Mandrews at 4:40.
Rating: C. There were four guys in the match, they all did spots, one of them got a pin. There’s no story, there are barely any characters (Remember when Sutter came in and looked like a big deal?) and this is all for a chance to (most likely) be slaughtered by Lashley again. Why do people care about this division again?
Ethan Carter III is going to answer Drew Galloway’s challenge from last week.
Dixie yells at Corgan for suspending Storm. I’m so glad it took her forty five minutes to do this. She thinks everyone is on edge because of Lashley holding all three titles (huh?) so they’re going to deal with it right now.
Ethan Carter III is in the ring and calls out Galloway to give him an answer. Drew doesn’t think he’s going to get what he wants, which is a chance to set things right. Carter surprises him by accepting but here’s Aron Rex to interrupt. Rex says the entire universe has been watching Impact in the last few months. I could have sworn there were more than 350,000 people in the universe, or at least in the USA. Rex thinks both of them should have a fair shot so he’s going to be the guest referee in their match.
Eli Drake says he made the King of the Mountain Title but Lashley cuts him off. Lashley doesn’t need a catchphrase but Drake says he’ll be taking any of those titles he wants. The champ really isn’t interested and leaves, only to run into Sienna, who tells him to not be cute.
Jeff Hardy is looking at ladders but Matt says he’s had a deletion telling him that there will be no jumping off a ladder tonight. These ladders are obsolete and Jeff agrees, shoving all of them over.
Here’s Eli Drake for a match but first he has something to say. Drake isn’t happy with having to see a bunch of James Storm vignettes before he just lost his match. He wants to hear Lashley’s announcement right now but gets interrupted instead.
Mahabali Shera vs. Eli Drake
Shera slams him down to start and drops an elbow for two. Drake easily shrugs off everything Shera throws at him but misses an elbow drop of his own. The Sky High is broken up though and Blunt Force Trauma ends Shera at 2:38.
Lashley won’t tell the bosses about his announcement.
Here’s Lashley for his promised announcement, accompanied by people carrying the King of the Mountain and X-Division Titles. Lashley has accomplished his goal and wants Dixie and Corgan out here right now. He says he has all the power because he’s a businessman in addition to being a great wrestler. The bosses suck up to him but Lashley says he’s going to unify the belts together and name himself the undisputed champion of wrestling. Dixie freaks out and says he can’t do that and Corgan drops the President card.
Lashley calls the King of the Mountain Title garbage and throws it down. As for the X-Division, Lashley ripped its heart out and there’s no reason for him to defend the title against any of them. That title is dropped as well, sending Dixie into her best Stephanie McMahon impression as she talks about respecting the company. Lashley doesn’t care and walks out, saying he’ll see them at Bound For Glory. Corgan says not so fast because next week there’s a #1 contenders battle royal for a World Title shot. I really wouldn’t mind if those titles went away. It’s not like they’ve meant anything in years anyway.
Corgan says there will be a new X-Division Champion. And that champion will be treated like a big deal for all of a month before the title falls through the cracks again.
Tribunal vs. Hardys vs. BroMans vs. Helms Dynasty
Ladder match with the winners getting a Tag Team Title shot against Decay at Bound For Glory. Jeff throws in a ladder and we’re at a break 12 seconds after the bell. Back with everyone not named Matt brawling all over the place and Matt yelling at Jeff on the outside. Matt pulls the ladder from the ring so the Tribunal finally starts beating him up. A double baseball slide sends the ladder into the Dynasty as things start to slow down.
Jeff dives at the Tribunal but leaves it a bit short, sending him mostly crashing onto the floor. Matt and Everett fight over a ladder but Matt has to stop and bite Trevor’s hand. A lot of biting ensues before Matt goes after Raquel, only to have the BroMans beat him down. Baraka goes up but seems to be scared of heights, allowing the BroMans to make another save.
The BroDown off the ladder drops Dax but Matt freaks out again and screams at the announcers. That goes nowhere as the Dynasty beats up the BroMans. Jeff comes off a ladder in the corner to knock Everett off the ladder in the ring, resulting in another big crash. Matt climbs up and gets the contract at 14:08.
Rating: C+. This really wasn’t that surprising as they’re the only team doing anything at the moment. I’m fine with Matt and Jeff doing their weird thing in the midcard instead of being the focal point of the show as it means they’ll be kept to one place and not all over the place. This was pretty much your standard multi-team ladder match and that’s about all you could expect.
Overall Rating: C-. There’s enough watchable stuff on here but I was mostly just bored. Very little here felt like must see TV and the low levels of Ethan Carter III and Mike Bennett really showed. Instead we had Lashley talking a lot (not a good idea) and various other uninteresting acts. It’s not a bad show (they’ve done way worse in recent weeks and months) but the energy was really lacking tonight.
Results
Moose b. Eddie Edwards – Chokebomb
Gail Kim b. Jade via DQ when Sienna interfered
DJZ b. Rockstar Spud, Mandrews and Braxton Sutter – DDT to Mandrews
Eli Drake b. Mahabali Shera – Blunt Force Trauma
Hardys b. BroMans, Tribunal and Helms Dynasty – Matt pulled down the contract
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Impact Wrestling – July 12, 2016: I Needed A Break
Impact Wrestling Date: July 12, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
It’s Destination X and that means title for title with World Champion Lashley facing X-Division Champion Eddie Edwards in a winner take all match. Mike Bennett has promised to ruin the whole thing though and there’s also the possibility that Maria Kanellis will do something to further her issues with Dixie Carter. Let’s get to it.
We open with Final Deletion clips, including Jeff Hardy waking up. Matt goes down to the boat and names it Scarsguard as a thank you for saving him last week. Matt takes it out into the water with a bag containing Jeff’s remnants but the drone comes out, carrying the shirt Jeff was wearing to complete the package. Naturally this is continuing.
Braxton Sutter vs. DJZ vs. Rockstar Spud vs. Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett vs. Mandrews
Ladder match for the #1 contendership to the X-Division Title because it’s time for the usual suspects to be thrown into a mess of a match so they don’t have to develop in the slightest. Mandrews dives onto the Helms Dynasty as they come to the ring with DJZ doing the same thing for a big crash. DJZ stops Mandrews from grabbing the X but Sutter stops DJZ just as quickly.
Trevor goes for the belt on two ladders but they’re pulled away, forcing him into the splits for a new idea. Spud takes down a bunch of people with a chair but gets kicked in the head. A Sutter powerbomb knocks Lee silly, only to have Spud take him down with a belt to the back. We get the traditional Shane Helms interference to stop DJZ going for the belt, only to have DJZ shove the ladder over with Everett go crashing into the pile. DJZ pulls down the X to win at 5:55.
Rating: C. More of the same from the X-Division with a bunch of bodies flying around and no characters for the most part. It’s basically the second time they’ve done this same match in two weeks after the Ultimate X match last week. Is it too much to ask to go a month or two between “go grab something” matches?
DJZ is proud of his win and promises to go win the title when Mike Bennett jumps him from behind.
Ethan Carter III is ready to fight Drew Galloway because talking is over.
Dixie Carter says they’re moving back “home” to Thursday nights next week with the start of the Bound For Glory Playoffs.
Eddie Edwards and Lashley are in the ring for a face to face showdown. Lashley says the World Title is the heart of Impact Wrestling and he’s the top of the food chain. All Eddie has done is tick him off but Edwards says he’s going to walk out World Champion. Lashley says this isn’t a movie (True. That would be Final Deletion.) and the underdog doesn’t win. The X-Division Title is real life but Lashley beats him down when the Wolves Nation is mentioned for the first time (Good. That name has always sounded stupid.). The spear puts Eddie down and Lashley gets a chair, only to have Davey Richards return for the save.
Abyss has to choke Crazy Steve to calm him down as Steve is losing his mind about Rosemary kissing Bram last week. Tonight Abyss can take care of Bram and everything will be beautiful again.
Back at Matt’s house, he’s invited guests to his private movie theater to watch the Final Deletion. In another room, Reby pulls a book from the wall to open the door to Maxill’s room. She picks up the baby and drops down a fireman’s pole into the theater as we see the family and guests watch last week’s events. More is promised, which means I’ll get another week of being called stupid for not hailing this as the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.
Abyss vs. Bram
Abyss hits some right hands to the ribs in the corner to start before sending him out to the floor for a crash. Steve pulls Bram’s hair out but Bram comes back with some right hands of his own. A chokeslam cuts off a comeback but here’s Rosemary to check on Bram. The distraction lets Bram roll Abyss up for the pin at 4:05.
Rating: D. It was about time to screw with the Decay as the Wolves are apparently back and it’s time to put the titles on them again because they’re the most amazing team in the history of ever and we don’t want Decay getting any more traction than they already have. That’s TNA’s take on things: don’t let anything but the old standard get too big because that might let them go somewhere and that just isn’t how TNA wants things go work. The match was nothing of course.
Knockouts Title: Jade vs. Marti Bell vs. Gail Kim vs. Sienna
Is this the entire division at the moment? Sienna is defending and Gail jumps her on the ramp because this is basically two singles matches at once. Gail is discarded (Don’t worry. She’ll be back to save the division soon enough.) so Sienna can stomp on Marti as Josh promises MORE from Matt’s house at dinner last night.
Marti gets two on Sienna with Gail making the save, followed by a quick Tower of Doom. Jade and Gail dive onto the heels before slugging it out in the ring. Gail avoids a Pele and gets two off a backsplash. All four are back in now with Marti hitting a Pedigree on Jade. Eat Defeat drops Marti but Sienna Pounces Gail to retain at 5:10.
Rating: D. Another four way with no characters, the same moves over and over and Gail Kim being involved because screw “the division”, it’s all about promoting her. We’re just waiting to see her enshrined at this point and probably winning the title back at Bound For Glory so everything can be right.
Matt and his family had dinner and it’s all bizarre and weird and Matt speaks Spanish and it’s not funny or interesting and I don’t care if I’m stupid for not getting it. Next.
Lashley wants Davey Richards at ringside for the title match tonight.
We see the end of the Final Deletion. Again.
Here are Matt and Reby to brag about their win last week. Matt has DELETED Jeff, who Reby brings out and shouts OBSOLETE over and over. Apparently Matt wants to keep Jeff around and bleed every dollar out of him by making him his mule. DELETE DELETE DELETE. Oh yeah this is continuing until Bound For Glory and probably beyond.
DJZ wants Mike Bennett in the ring tonight.
Mike Bennett vs. DJZ
Mike runs him over to start but DJZ fires off right hands. Those go nowhere because he’s a lowly X-Division wrestler and can’t fight a heavyweight. A spinebuster gets two and we hit a chinlock for a few moments. DJZ fights up and headscissors him out to the floor for a flip dive. That’s enough for Bennett as he tries to walk up the ramp, only to be cut off by the X-Division. The distraction lets DJZ grab a rollup for the pin at 5:45.
Rating: D+. There’s your token pin because the X-Division actually matters tonight. The pinfall is nice but I have no reason to believe this is actually going to stick. You know, like it never actually does in TNA. Nothing to see here but that’s almost always the case in TNA around Destination X time.
Post match Bennett yells about wanting to ruin Destination X because that win really didn’t mean much. He promises to burn this place to the ground.
Drew Galloway wants to fight.
Bennett is on the phone and tells someone to get here tonight so they can burn it to the ground.
Here’s Galloway to call Ethan out for a fight, as in not a match. Ethan is ready go to as well and it’s on in a hurry. Drew takes it to the floor but gets suplexed. They trade some chops and Ethan pelts him with a chair. They fight backstage with Ethan getting the better of it until a bunch of people break it up.
Davey tapes up Eddie’s hands for the main event.
X-Division Title/TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley
Both titles are on the line. Lashley shoves him around to start but his suplex is countered into a sleeper. That goes as far as your average sleeper is going to take you so Lashley sends him outside for a suplex on the ramp. Eddie is sent into the steps and we take a break.
Back with Lashley beating Eddie in the corner and choking on the mat until Eddie fights up with a tornado DDT. A low bridge sends Lashley to the floor and there are three straight suicide dives. Back in and Eddie gets two off a sitout spinebuster before kicking Lashley in the eye.
Eddie tries the Boston Knee Party but gets caught in a powerslam with the referee getting bumped. Lashley grabs a chair so here’s Davey for the superkick/brainbuster combo and a near fall. Cue Mike Bennett but MOOSE makes his debut (complete with the Moose name and cool entrance music) to lay out Davey. We’ll call it a no contest at about 15:00.
Rating: B-. As usual, TNA is mostly fine between the bells and only lacks in the story departments. The match was good with a power vs. speed formula that works almost every single time. Eddie is more than good enough in the ring to fight off a monster like Lashley and the ending is intriguing stuff with a big name debuting. Good stuff here and a worthy main event.
Post match Bennett hits Lashley low, allowing Moose to take Lashley out as well.
And now, here’s Dixie Carter to end the show. The fans deserve a winner so there’s a rematch inside Six Sides of Steel with both titles on the line. To recap: a major name just debuted and we wrap it up with Dixie Carter.
Overall Rating: C-. This is a very, very tricky one to grade as I actually had to stop watching for about forty minutes before I went insane. The first half of this show was every single problem TNA had rolled into a single show:
1. X-Division/Knockouts clearly having no effort put in. It’s “here’s the entire division in one match with no characters or story”, just like it’s been for months if not years. The wrestling itself was fine (or as fine as you’re going to get in two matches combining to go ten minutes) but the lack of character development is killing them more and more every single time. There’s nothing different about these people and it shows when they’re thrown out there in one big mess of a match almost every time.
2. Dixie with her “we’re going home” speech. I can’t stand her more and more every time I see her.
3. Matt Hardy all over the show. We’ve seen that clip so many times and it’s being driven into the ground. The feud is clearly continuing and it’s going to be more of the same. If you like it then great, but if you don’t like it, prepare to be stuck sitting there all night long because it’s not going away.
4. TNA fans are going to spend the next week explaining to me about how amazing this was and how stupid I am for disagreeing.
Now that being said, the second half was MUCH better with the wrestling and stories being improvements with characters doing things that make sense for them. The main event was a perfectly acceptable use of the last segment with a new name debuting and a good match building towards it. That’s all well and good, but TNA just has so much bad that drags the good down and there’s almost nothing in the middle. It’s either horrible or good and that gets old in a hurry.
Results
DJZ b. Braxton Sutter, Rockstar Spud, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Mandrews – DJZ pulled down the X
Bram b. Abyss – Rollup
Sienna b. Gail Kim, Jade and Marti Bell – Pounce to Kim
DJZ b. Mike Bennett – Rollup
Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards went to a no contest when Moose interfered
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TNA is back on pay per view with their annual anniversary show featuring something close to a triple main event. First and foremost we have TNA World Champion Drew Galloway defending against Lashley in a submission/KO only match. Next, Mike Bennett is finally giving Ethan Carter III his rematch after Carter ran through a string of opponents to earn another shot at him. Finally there’s arguably the real main event as Matt Hardy faces Jeff Hardy in a Full Metal Mayhem match. Let’s get to it.
We open with the roster on the stage for a moment of silence for the victims in last night’s Orlando shooting.
The opening video is a pretty basic one with a quick clip on each match.
We hear Jeremy Borash hyping up Full Metal Mayhem, which I think was supposed to be just for the live crowd.
X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Andrew Everett vs. DJZ
Lee is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Before the bell, Shane Helms is banned from ringside. It’s a big brawl on the floor to start with DJZ chopping Trevor and Eddie fighting Everett on the other side. Everett is sent into the steps and the other three get inside for the opening bell. Lee gets double teamed until they all head to the floor, allowing Everett to get back inside for a big corkscrew plancha.
The Helms Dynasty (Everett and Lee) start double teaming Eddie with a drop toehold into a knee to the head, only to have DJZ to come back in with a double elbow to the jaw. DJZ holds the ropes open for an Edwards dive onto Everett, only to have Andrew run back inside for a running shooting star press and a near fall on DJZ. Lee isn’t happy with that and gets in an argument with his stablemate, leaving Eddie to chop both heels in the corner.
The champ gets two on Eddie off that spinning powerslam of his but Everett is right back up to eat a superkick from Edwards for two. Lee throws DJZ off the top for a big crash, leaving Everett to hit a springboard shooting star and a near fall on Eddie to leave everyone down. DJZ’s tornado DDT gets two on Everett but Lee blasts him with a jumping knee to the face. Back in and Eddie counters Trevor’s fisherman’s buster into a small package for the pin and the title at 10:11.
Rating: B. This was exactly what it needed to be with a bunch of big spots and a white hot pace throughout. Unfortunately that’s probably it for the title meaning anything until we get to Bound For Glory and the likely showdown between Helms and Edwards that I don’t think many people are really looking forward to seeing. This was nothing we haven’t seen before but it’s nice to have a regular match instead of Ultimate X for the sake of having Ultimate X.
Lashley is warming up.
The announcers run down the card.
Ethan Carter III says tonight he’s taking Mike Bennett to church where the people are going to be singing Trouble Trouble Trouble.
Clips of Sting being announced as the first member of the TNA Hall of Fame.
Tribunal vs. Grado/Mahabali Shera
Serious vs. fun with Al Snow as the Tribunal’s coach. Snow says his hero Donald Trump is going to make America great again and promises to make wrestling great again starting here tonight. The Tribunal jumps Shera to start and it’s Baraka choking him against the ropes. Baron chokes even more as the announcers talk about how none of these four have been on a Slammiversary yet. Considering two of them have only been hired for about a month, that’s not a huge surprise.
Baraka works on a chinlock but gets caught in a quick Sky High for a breather. Baron runs around the ring to pull Grado off the apron but Grado comes in anyway and starts cleaning house, including taking away Snow’s whistle. Shera springboards in to take out both French villains as everything breaks down. Shera and Dax go outside as Grado kicks Baraka in the chest for a delayed two as Snow had the referee. Back up and a quick backbreaker/middle rope elbow combination puts Grado away at 7:33.
Rating: D+. It was fine but should have been a nothing TV match instead of taking away a pay per view spot. The Tribunal really comes off as little more than a midcard heel act at their peak, despite both of them having a great look. Nothing match of course but was anyone expecting anything else?
Braxton Sutter comes up to James Storm for an introduction. They seem to get along and they go off for a chat.
We recap Maria Kanellis vs. Gail Kim despite Maria being out of the match with a broken hand. Basically it’s wrestling vs. entertainment as Maria is in charge of the Knockouts and wants to make them a bigger deal while Kim says she has no room to talk since she’s not a wrestler. Somehow this is supposed to make us want to cheer for Kim.
Gail Kim comes out for the match but Maria’s hand is in a cast. Allie says Maria deserves sympathy but Gail says Maria is a liar. Billy Corgan comes out to show us an X-Ray and the hand is indeed broken. Instead of just putting Allie in Maria’s place, Gail is being added to the Knockouts Title match right now.
Knockouts Title: Sienna vs. Gail Kim vs. Jade
Jade is defending. Sienna gets double teamed to start but she comes right back by choking Jade in the corner. Gail is tied up in the Tree of Woe and Sienna uses her break to crank on Jade’s neck. Everyone gets back up and Sienna fireman’s carries both of them at the same time for a big drop as everyone heads outside.
All three get knocked down but slide back in at the same time to start chopping it out. Sienna backdrops Gail to the floor and Jade springboards into a tornado DDT for two. Gail is back in with a hurricanrana on the champ and Sienna adds an AK-47. Eat Defeat drops Sienna but Allie pulls her out at two. Sienna gets the title as Marti Bell comes in to hit Jade with something to give Sienna the title at 7:40.
Rating: C-. Unnecessary ending aside, it’s nice to get the title off Jade to end that completely dead reign. Maria has become the first interesting thing in the division in a long time and it makes sense to have her get control of the title in addition to the division. Now we can have Gail Kim STAND UP FOR WRESTLING and take the title in a big showdown at Bound For Glory, likely after her Hall of Fame induction. Gail’s knee injury from Impact was mentioned but didn’t factor into the match.
Lashley says there’s a big fight feel tonight and makes JB practice announcing him as the new World Champion.
Here’s James Storm to talk about how fourteen years ago, this company gave a bunch of kids a chance on Wednesday nights. He’s still here though and loves the idea of doing things his way. Storm is here in Orlando, which draws an ORLANDO chant. Tonight, Storm wants to give a new kid an opportunity so get out here Braxton Sutter.
James Storm vs. Braxton Sutter
Apparently Storm told Sutter that it took him a few months to get his first win out of the way. Eh a few months, his second match, same difference. They start fast with Sutter dropping him with a shoulder but running into an armdrag. A dropkick staggers Sutter and an enziguri from the apron makes things worse. Sutter comes back with a high cross body for two and a powerslam for the same, followed by a suplex into the buckle for a third two count. Back up and Sutter charges into a Codebreaker, followed by the Last Call for the pin at 6:47.
Rating: C. Well that happened. I’m so glad they had Sutter get a strong push out of the gate and then have him lose here, probably for the sake of honoring TNA’s history or whatever. TNA is dying for fresh blood right now and having someone new with a lot of potential lose to James Storm clean isn’t the right way. I’d be more fine with this if Storm was heading up the card but I really can’t picture that happening.
Eli Drake says we won’t be seeing champions go 0-3 because he is the namer of the dummies. Bram might just be crazy enough to put his life on the line to take the King of the Mountain Title but if that’s what he thinks, Bram really is a cross eyed dummy, yeah. That guy can just command a camera.
Video of Kurt Angle being announced for the Hall of Fame.
King of the Mountain Title: Bram vs. Eli Drake
Bram is challenging after Drake cashed in Feast or Fired to take the title. Drake jumps him to start but backs off when Bram gets to his feet. An early Brighter Side of Suffering attempt sends the champ out to the floor and that’s enough for Eli so far. Drake tries to leave and says we’ll do this next month, only to have Bram punch him back to the ring.
Bram teases the Brighter Side of Suffering on exposed concrete but Drake backdrops him for a long count from the referee. A neckbreaker gets two for Drake but it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down. Back up and Bram starts slugging away, followed by a jumping knee to the face and Pop Up Powerbomb for two. Now the Brighter Side of Suffering connects and Drake rolls straight to the floor. Back in and Drake hits his clothesline and neckbreaker combo (Blunt Force Trauma) for the pin to retain at 8:36.
Rating: C. I’m a big Drake fan and he’s starting to come around (though a new finisher would really help him) so this was the right call. Bram is fine in his role and could be something if TNA would stick with him but Drake comes off like a Miz: he can command a crowd really well and can wrestle well enough to get through a match.
Mike Bennett talks about being the man who did what no one else could and promises that after tonight, the fans are going to say they believe.
Recap of Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III, which is built around the idea of Bennett being the first person to ever beat Carter and Ethan wanting a rematch to get his revenge after all the cheating in their other matches. Carter had to walk through a road of redemption to get his shot.
Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III
They lock up to start and it’s an early standoff. The fans chant NO WE DON’T as Carter scores with a few shoulders. Ethan knocks him to the floor but eats a clothesline as the fans stay on Carter’s side. Bennett makes things a bit more serious with an elevated DDT off the barricade onto the ramp. It’s way too early for that to end the match though so Bennett grabs a neckbreaker back inside.
The Miracle in Progress is broken up and Ethan plants him with a sitout powerbomb for two. Carter can’t get the 1%er either and Mike gets two off a spinebuster. Bennett gets in a cutter but Ethan pops up for a clothesline to put both guys down. A flapjack sets up the 1%er but Bennett gets out at two. They head to the apron with Carter hitting his TK3 onto the apron, only to go up top and dive into another cutter.
Bennett drops him with a piledriver for two but Ethan rolls some German suplexes and hits another 1%er with Maria throwing a chair in to distract the referee. The referee gets rid of her but it’s a Miracle in Progress onto the chair for two more. Ethan gets up and grabs another TK3 followed by the 1%er for the pin at 15:03.
Rating: B+. This was the match I was looking forward to the most and it delivered as well as I was expecting. These two are a pair of young guys with good chemistry and a lot of talent, which is why this has been the best feud TNA has done in a good while. I’m sure we’ll see a rubber match between them and it’s going to be a lot of fun as well, which gives me a reason to keep watching, for now at least.
Matt Hardy is ready to end Nero.
We recap Matt vs. Jeff, which is over Matt being obsessed with defeating his brother because Jeff has broken him or whatever Matt is babbling about this week. For some reason this has turned him into some combination of Raven and Sweeney Todd with a bad British accent.
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
Full Metal Mayhem (basically TLC with pins) and Matt’s wife introduces him as broken, meaning he has piano music. Jeff attacks in the aisle to start but Matt comes back with a bunch of weapons. A snap suplex puts Jeff down on the floor as Matt empties a trashcan full of weapons, which only allows Jeff to take over with some hard shots. Jeff crushes him with a ladder up against the post and drives him through a table (that’s not metal) for two.
Back in and Jeff puts a huge ladder completely across the ring with Matt on top for a top rope splash and another near fall. The Swanton hits knees though and Matt gets two of his own. Matt starts biting Jeff’s ear because a Mike Tyson reference seems appropriate here. A Side Effect on the apron knocks Jeff silly but Matt pulls out a keyboard because he’s broken. He bridges it between the apron and a piece of the barricade so Matt can powerbomb Jeff through the keyboard for two.
Matt puts Jeff on a table on the floor and climbs a ladder inside, only to have Jeff come in and send them both crashing into the turnbuckle. It’s Jeff up first with a basement dropkick for two, followed by the Twist of Fate. Ok that he did rip off from Matt. Now the Swanton connects for two more and they head outside next to two tables. Jeff gets another Twist of Fate through one of the tables for two as the fans aren’t really reacting since they’re waiting on the big spot. Matt is laid on the other table and Jeff Swantons off the top through him for the pin at 16:56.
Rating: B-. Uh, that’s it? That’s what they’ve dedicated the most time of any match to on TV? A decent TLC match with a KEYBOARD as the big spot? The ending was nothing special but I’d rather have it be a “safe” (by comparison at least) spot instead of Jeff jumping off the roof or whatever he was hinting at doing. Hopefully this wraps the whole thing up though as Matt really doesn’t need to do anything else, though I’m sure we’ll get another match because these two are MONEY. Like enough money for a Coke or something but it’s still MONEY.
Matt walks off as Jeff celebrates with fans.
Decay says you can’t run from them because they never stay the same. The BroMans’ resurrection will lead to their demise.
Tag Team Titles: Decay vs. BroMans
Decay is defending. Robbie goes after Abyss to start but Steve gets in a cheap shot to take over. It’s quickly off to Jesse as everything breaks down early. Robbie dives off the top to take out the champs, followed by Jesse throwing Rosemary onto them as well. Things settle back down to Abyss choking Jesse in the corner and Steve gets in a shot to the back of the head.
Jesse finally knocks Abyss away and makes the hot tag off to Robbie for a Boom Drop on Steve. Rosemary mists Abyss by mistake and the blind monster chokeslams Steve. The BroDown and Adonis Lock has Steve tapping but Abyss mists the referee by mistake. The women get in a fight as Steve gets in a belt shot for two on Godderz because BLOWING MIST IN A REFEREE’S EYES isn’t a DQ anymore. The Adonis Lock goes on again but Abyss makes another save and grabs the Black Hole Slam on Jesse. Abyss powerbombs Steve on top of him to retain at 9:15.
Rating: C+. This was a lot better than I was expecting and they did a good job of making the BroMans seem like more than just a couple of goofs. The lack of a DQ off both mists was annoying but that’s par for the course anymore. We’re just waiting for the Wolves at this point but it’s good to have a team get a nice little push like this.
Drew Galloway says he’s ready to fight for wrestling.
TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Drew Galloway
Submission or KO (last man standing variety) only to win and Galloway, in a kilt, is defending. Drew Claymores him two seconds into the match but Lashley pops up and grabs a legbar. That goes nowhere so Drew tries to throw him into the steps, only to have Lashley jump on top of them. Back in and the Iron Maiden is easily broken so Drew grabs a second version.
Lashley fights up and gets in a spear, followed by an overhead belly to belly. Since it’s not a KO though, there’s really nothing to do but wait for Drew to get up. A cross armbreaker doesn’t last long on Drew as he kicks Lashley in the face and cuts his eye open. Lashley suplexes him again and starts pounding away in the corner. Drew blocks a superplex and this a top rope clothesline, followed by another Claymore. It doesn’t even get a count though as Lashley gets up and scores with a quick spear to put both guys down.
Drew gets in a big boot to put Lashley on the floor before sending him into the steps. The Celtic Cross onto the steps makes things even worse for Lashley but he’s still not out. That leaves Drew with nothing else (because the show is running out of time) to do but put on a Sharpshooter on the steps. The referee breaks it up despite DQ’s not being a factor in this match. Yet another Claymore drops Lashley and now it’s time for a table.
Drew’s flip dive over the top only hits the table though and both guys are down again. Lashley won’t let the count go yet though and pounds Drew in the head a bit first. The champ gets up but dives into a Crossface, which is quickly reversed into a Tombstone. Lashley is up again and blasts Drew in the face, setting up a side choke to knock Drew out for the title at 17:58.
Rating: B. The match was good but LASHLEY??? The epitome of “monster for someone to destroy” gets the title again? They’re going up against Smackdown in a few weeks and they put the title on Brock Lesnar minus charisma? This was set up perfectly to have Galloway win and look like a star but instead it’s Lashley again because the first two reigns were so great.
Josh acts like this is Lashley’s first reign to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. I’ll be sticking around but egads this company makes it hard to sit through. As usual the show is much better when they just focus on the wrestling instead of all their “creative” stuff but this felt like TNA in a nutshell: the stuff they do is good but it’s just enough to squeak by. Instead of hitting a home run, this was a weak single over the third baseman’s head. There’s enough good in it to keep me watching but Impact is going to go downhill all over again because they have nothing to build towards for four months.
The matches that needed to deliver did so, but the stuff between the opener and Bennett vs. Carter was the usual collection of weak to average at best. As usual TNA survives again on hard work from the wrestlers but I’m not looking forward to Galloway chasing Lashley while Lashley talks about how awesome he is in that weird voice of his. It’s a good enough show, though nothing I’ll ever want to see again.
Results
Eddie Edwards b. Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and DJZ – Small package to Lee
Tribunal b. Grado/Mahabali Shera – Backbreaker/Middle rope elbow combination to Grado
Sienna b. Jade and Gail Kim – Pin after Marti Bell hit Jade in the back
James Storm b. Braxton Sutter – Last Call
Eli Drake b. Bram – Blunt Force Trauma
Ethan Carter III b. Mike Bennett – 1%er
Jeff Hardy b. Matt Hardy – Swanton Bomb through a table
Lashley b. Drew Galloway – Side choke
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Impact Wrestling Date: May 24, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
It’s a big show tonight with May Mayhem, meaning things are a bit more violent than the regular shows. As you might guess, this is a show that was announced a week ago with almost no other build. The big match tonight is Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III as Carter tries to get his rematch with Mike Bennett. Let’s get to it.
The opening video focuses on everything we’re getting to see tonight.
Here’s Matt Hardy for a chat before his match with Ethan. Matt now has half black and half white hair (divided down the middle) which looks like Bozo the Clown’s. Before the match Matt talks about how he has evolved into something more dangerous. He sees this match as nothing more than a warmup for his match with Jeff at Slammiversary.
With something like a weak British accent, Matt says he has a contract for the match with his brother Nero, which brings out Rockstar Spud and Tyrus. Spud says he’s dedicated his life to Matt Hardy. Matt: “As you should.” That accent is REALLY weird and comes off like Matt trying to be all intelligent and brilliant and it’s really just creepy.
Spud blames the fans for this going too far but Tyrus really doesn’t care. Matt says it’s ok to say he looks like a psychotic lunatic. He has a deal for Nero tonight: if Nero can beat Spud and Tyrus in a ladder match, there will be a match between the brothers at Slammiversary. If Jeff loses though, there’s no match. Also if Jeff wins, Spud and Tyrus are done associating with Matt. This felt like someone shouting LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME and trying to be all interesting but coming off as a guy who is more sad than anything else. As usual, Matt is in over his head and is nowhere near as brilliant as he thinks he is.
Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Hardy
Matt pounds away in the corner as we hear about how amazing a transformation he’s undergone to become this lunatic. Carter charges into a boot to the face and gets elbowed in the jaw to keep him down. A bulldog out of the corner gets two for Matt and he whips Carter into the corner.
The slow pace continues with a legdrop until Carter comes back with a jawbreaker, only to miss a splash in the corner. Here’s Mike Bennett to watch as Matt gets two off a Side Effect. The Twist of Fate is countered into a cobra clutch but Bennett comes in for the DQ at 6:40. The stipulation said that Carter had to win by pin/submission to get his shot so Ethan gets nothing.
Rating: D+. Can we take up a collection to get rid of Matt Hardy? Like, how much would it cost for us to never have to sit through one of his speeches or matches again? His character is confusing/stupid, his promos are annoying, he gets WAY too much TV time and his matches aren’t even good. What are he and Jeff going to do at Slammiversary? Jump off something really high like they’ve done for nearly twenty years? I’m sure TNA fans will call it brilliant but this is moving into Hogan/Flair levels of sad.
Mike lays Carter out post match and says that he has failed. There will be no rematch at Slammiversary.
Post break Bennett says what he just did was art and you don’t have to explain art. A few weeks ago he had a vision for EC3’s Road to Redemption. Well now Ethan has failed because he didn’t get the job done, meaning no match at Slammiversary. This was just repeating what was said earlier.
Here’s Allie to introduce Maria for a speech. Maria talks about how she’s taking over the new future for the Knockouts and Velvet Sky is part of the past. This brings out Gail Kim, who says Maria manipulated her way to the top of the division. They argue over Velvet being fired with Maria saying she put on her boots just like Gail told her to and she attained power. Gail offers to beat her up right now but Maria threatens to have her fired. This results in Gail being put in a match with her career on the line, which brings in Sienna for a cheap shot from behind. Who is actually begging to see Gail vs. Maria in a straight match?
Grado promises Mahabali Shera that he’ll take care of Al Snow tonight. Grado has a chain wrapped around his fist while Shera eats what looks like a drumstick.
The BroMans call each other from about a foot away. Robbie thinks they need to move up a few levels while Jesse keeps stopping to talk to people. Apparently Robbie has found them a guru to take it to another level. A woman comes up to point out that they’re right next to each other and Robbie blames Jesse for not paying attention.
Gail rants about how angry she is.
We recap Al Snow vs. Grado in your standard “I’m old and grizzled and you’re not serious enough” feud. Snow claims to be a pure athlete and keeps cheating to win matches.
Al Snow vs. Grado
Street fight. Before the match, Snow asks if the fans want violence, chairs and tables. Well even if they do, they’re not going to get it because he’s a wrestler. Snow: “I’m your mom’s favorite wrestler!” Naturally he hides behind the set and jumps Grado from behind to start things off. The bell hasn’t rung yet as Snow slams Grado’s hand into the steps. They head inside for the bell with Snow slamming him down but missing the moonsault.
Snow’s powder is thrown back into his face as Shera brings in a trashcan full of weapons. Grado spanks him with a cookie sheet and it’s time for the drumstick (as in a bone with meat on it) for a low blow. A chain punch hits Grado in the jaw but here are two newcomers (NXT’s Marcus Louis and Sylvester LeFort) to pull the referee out. The distraction lets Snow hit the Snow Plow for the pin at 3:39.
Rating: D-. Yes this is continuing and Snow is going to have a stable. This really does feel like it’s 1999 but for some reason we’re getting an Al Snow win instead of any…..you know what? I don’t care. We’re reaching the point with TNA where I can’t even get mad about it anymore. This is what we’re stuck with because of all the people they have on their roster, it’s best to have Al Snow do this instead of ANYONE else.
I’m so sorry that TNA has no money because no one watches their shows and they’re stuck on a third rate network with no audience but it’s the kind of nonsense like pushing Matt Hardy as some psycho genius for the “real” main event of Slammiversary against his brother because Darlin Dixie is too thickheaded to realize that this nonsense doesn’t draw a thing anymore. This match and this show are such a waste of time anymore and they have no one to blame but themselves.
Matt Hardy (of course) is sitting in the dark when Reby comes in to ask what’s wrong. We get another monologue about how Matt needs to get rid of Nero for his life to continue. Reby talks about how he’s alienating everyone but Matt doesn’t care because it’s all about Nero.
Jeremy Borash is in the ring to talk about the end of last week’s show when Lashley interrupts. Lashley rants about how many fights he’s had without twenty idiots interrupting but here’s Drew Galloway to cut him off. Drew says Lashley can lay claim to being the only real fighter on the roster but he’ll stick to the title of World Heavyweight Champion. Last week he saw fear in Lashley’s eyes but Lashley doesn’t want to hear it.
Drew comes to the ring for a fight but Dixie Carter comes out to say this is ridiculous. Yeah we need to cut out this action on a wrestling show. I for one would love another Matt Hardy monologue right about now. Dixie makes the rematch for Slammiversary with only submissions or knockouts for the win. If I’m Drew, I’d be rather ticked off by that but of course he’s fine with everything.
Lashley calls him out and the fight is on again with Drew hitting a Claymore and pounding away. Security’s intervention only slows Drew down, allowing Lashley to get in a spear and hammer away. A referee gets speared and Lashley chokes Drew out with a belt. Lashley isn’t done yet and takes off his shirt but does nothing.
X-Division Title: Andrew Everett vs. Eddie Edwards vs. DJZ vs. Trevor Lee
Lee is defending and this is Ultimate X with the belt hung at the intersection of two cables. The first person to climb up and pull it down is champion. We come back from a break after Eddie’s entrance with the rest of the entrances because we haven’t wasted enough time on this show yet. Shane helms is out with Lee and Everett, who are introduced as a team. Eddie dives over the top to take out Everett before the bell rings.
It’s a huge brawl to start of course until Everett dropkicks everyone down and goes for the belt, only to have Lee pull him down and swear a bit. Helms tells his boys to calm down and Everett lets Lee get on his shoulders to help him get tot he belt. Eddie and DJZ come in for the save (why this isn’t a tag match and non-title is beyond me) with DJZ elbowing both heels in the jaw.
Edwards hurricanranas both of them down at the same time but Lee knees him in the face. DJZ pops up and rolls forward into a DDT on Trevor to knock the champ silly. Eddie goes up and pulls down the title, only to have Shane distract the referee so Trevor can steal the belt to retain at 5:59.
Rating: D. I mean, why wait and have the big gimmick match at Slammiversary when you can have it here in a nothing match that doesn’t even last six minutes and somehow includes a false finish? It’s nice of them to throw a bone to the X-Division but the title is still having the same issues that everything else does: not enough focus because other big stories get the time, stories that just keep going because there’s nothing else going on, and of course and older guy who is treated as being above the current stars.
Maria has chosen Sienna to take out Gail Kim by ripping out her heart.
Ethan talks about playing rigged games all his life. There is no honor in what Bennett did but the rematch is going to happen no matter what. Ethan is about to make a phone call he’s going to regret. Bennett was comparing himself to artists but those people had a life’s work. After Ethan is done, Mike isn’t even going to have a life. As usual, really good stuff here from Ethan as he kept it simple and responded to everything Mike said while advancing the story.
Sienna vs. Gail Kim
Allie and Maria are at ringside and Gail’s career is on the line. Sienna jumps Gail from behind but gets knocked away, allowing Gail to hit a quick high cross body for two. A hurricanrana takes both of them outside but Maria helps Sienna up, allowing her to send Gail into the barricade. Back in and a Samoan drop gets two for Sienna but Gail comes back with a reverse DDT. Maria shoves Gail off the ropes, only to have her reverse the spinning faceplant into a sunset flip to pin Sienna at 4:13.
Rating: C-. That’s about as good as a four minute match with two people interfering is going to get. I know the end game of this is Gail vs. Maria but how is that going to be anything other than a squash or Gail having to slow things WAY down to make the match work? The story makes sense here but it’s asking us to be interested in Gail Kim which just isn’t going to happen.
Sienna drops Gail post match and Maria pounds away.
Rockstar Spud begs Tyrus to win tonight for Matt’s sake. Reby comes in and says do it for her sake because Matt is insane over this Jeff stuff. Spud says having Matt back to normal is worth anything.
The BroMans go to meet their guru and it’s….actually a woman, who has purple hair and is in great shape. Her name is Raquel (Gabi from last year’s Tough Enough) and apparently she’s the guru they’ve been looking for. After a hard workout, she says she’ll see them in the pool.
Lashley and Drew Galloway will pick each other’s opponents next week.
Rockstar Spud/Tyrus vs. Jeff Hardy
Ladder match. If Jeff wins, he faces Matt at Slammiversary in a Full Metal Mayhem match and Spud/Tyrus are done associating with Matt. If Jeff loses, there’s no match and Matt is happy anyway. Jeff hands out what looks like CDs during his entrance, which is actually not a horrible idea. Spud jumps Jeff before the bell (because we haven’t seen that tonight) but Tyrus posts himself and gets a chair thrown at his back. Jeff throws in a ladder and we go to a break without the match actually starting.
The match is joined in progress with Tyrus pulling a ladder to send Jeff throat first into the ropes. A legdrop between Jeff’s legs should allow Tyrus to just sit on him so Spud can climb but instead Tyrus picks him up. Spud drops a top rope elbow and goes to get a ladder as Tyrus lifts Jeff up again.
Tyrus splashes Spud by mistake but Jeff can’t follow up. Spud is sent out to the floor and Tyrus tries to climb, only to be too heavy and break the rungs. Jeff laughs at him as Spud comes back in, only to have Tyrus get knocked outside. Spud goes up but gets caught in a Twist of Fate onto the top of the ladder, allowing Jeff to pull down the contract at 5:10.
Rating: F. A five minute ladder match with Tyrus being entirely stupid (just sit on him man) and an obvious ending.
Overall Rating: D-. If Slammiversary isn’t an upgrade (read as the Hardys don’t main event for one thing), I’m taking a break from this company. I’ve sat through years of this place’s nonsense but it’s never been so much of an effort to stick with them. This company has just never learned and it’s the same problem time after time: too much of a focus on stories with only short term value and far less importance being placed on things that could help them.
In other words, I’ve had it with Matt vs. Jeff. This feud has gone on forever (dating back to their WWE days) and TNA doesn’t understand that there is nothing to gain from these two fighting each other. They’ve taken over the show and pushed things like the World Title and the legitimately great Carter vs. Bennett feud (one of the only reasons I’m sticking around) so Matt can be a crazy genius or whatever moniker he’s giving himself this week.
TNA is never going to get entirely better but the least I can ask is for them to be watchable. I’ve given TNA my patience, my time and my money but I’ve had enough. This show had less than twenty six minutes of wrestling in two hours and nearly twelve of those were Matt and Jeff matches. If that’s what TNA cares about, I’m not going to be around to watch them screw this place up even more. I’m not flat out quitting but if Slammiversary isn’t at least a decent show (and I’ll be flexible with that), I’m done.
Results
Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy via DQ when Mike Bennett interfered
Al Snow b. Grado – Snow Plow
Trevor Lee b. Eddie Edwards, Andrew Everett and DJZ – Lee pulled down the title
Gail Kim b. Sienna – Sunset flip
Jeff Hardy b. Tyrus/Rockstar Spud – Jeff pulled down the contract
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Impact Wrestling – May 17, 2016: It’s A Hardy Thing
Impact Wrestling Date: May 17, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
We’re getting closer to Slammiversary and one of the big questions coming out of last week is who is behind the Willow mask. Someone attacked Jeff Hardy last week while dressed as Jeff’s old alter ego in an attempt to take him out for good. Presumably this is the same person who sent Decay after Jeff two weeks ago. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Lashley attacking Drew Galloway a few weeks back. They fight for the World Title tonight but a fight broke out in the empty arena as they arrived earlier.
Here’s Willow to get things going. Josh: “The creation of the imagination of the mind of Jeff Hardy.” After the announcers talk about how Willow has come to life, he cackles about how he’s finally free. Cue Jeff Hardy to ask if Willow loves or hates before hammering away on him.
Jeff Hardy vs. Willow
Some right hands stagger Willow but he comes back with a Twist of Hate. The Twist of Fate puts Willow away at 39 seconds.
Jeff goes for the mask but here’s a bigger (though only average size) Willow to attack Jeff with the umbrella. A third Willow, clearly bigger than the other two, comes down the ramp to say something about giving Jeff his worst nightmare (the audio was very hard to understand).
Post break, Willow takes his mask off to reveal Matt Hardy. Matt talks about how Nero (Jeff’s middle name) got over because of Matt’s genius. A few weeks back, Jeff didn’t finish the job when he took Matt out so now it’s time to put Matt through his own personal nightmare. Matt chokes him out again and we’re finally done. If Matt being Willow surprised you in any way, shape or form, you haven’t been paying attention.
Velvet Sky is in the back where she was supposed to meet Maria. Instead there’s a newcomer named Allie, who is Maria’s bubbly new personal assistant (played by indy wrestler Cherry Bomb). Apparently Velvet is facing Sienna tonight and if she loses she’s fired.
Dixie Carter makes the World Title match a lumberjack match.
Velvet Sky vs. Sienna
Sienna rolls her up for a quick near fall before beating her into the corner. Velvet gets the same result off the same move before a running neckbreaker gives her another near fall. Not that it matters as Sienna puts Velvet on her shoulders for the spinning faceplant and the pin at 3:22.
Rating: D. Well uh, see you Velvet. That was quite the unceremonial ending to her TNA run as this was nothing more than a squash. Sienna is a good monster heel for Maria to hide behind and we’ve already gotten to the point of her character, which is about as simple of an idea as it needs to be. Nothing match here.
Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis are sitting by their pool with Maria getting up and diving in for a swim. After the very gratuitous shots of her, she sits back down with Mike talking about how he wants to be the best of all time in TNA. Maria is going to get some sun and then they’re going to head to the Impact Zone.
Here are Mike and Maria in the ring for a chat. Mike talks about how Ethan Carter III needs his road to redemption and if he loses once, there’s no rematch. Tonight, Ethan has an opponent who has been around the world and is very well known for his black and white. Therefore, get out here EARL HEBNER! Earl comes out and Mike wants to fight him tonight, Hall of Famer vs. future Hall of Famer. Another referee comes out and Mike begs Earl to fight him, eventually getting himself a punch to the face. The bell rings.
Mike Bennett vs. Earl Hebner
One punch drops Earl and Mike takes his shirt off…..for a two count. Yes Earl actually kicked out and for some reason it’s the funniest thing I’ve seen on TNA in months. Earl hits the worst low blow in years but Maria goes after him. Earl actually takes his shirt off, earning himself a boot to the face for the pin at 1:49. I really shouldn’t be laughing at this but it was HILARIOUS.
Post match Ethan Carter III runs out for the save but Mike has an opponent for him. That would be Tyrus, who attacks Ethan from behind, kicking off a last man standing match.
Ethan Carter III vs. Tyrus
Last man standing and joined in progress with Tyrus holding a nerve hold. Tyrus goes outside to get a chair but makes the mistake of wedging it in the corner, which means he goes head first into it instead. A trio of Stinger Splashes in the corner don’t do much damage to Tyrus so Ethan avoids a splash in the corner, setting up a high cross body. Carter hits him in the back with a chair for a nine so it’s time to set up two chairs.
Tyrus suplexes him through them for a close call and it’s table time. Tyrus misses a Vader Bomb and only hits table but still gets up. Ethan grabs a chair but gets sent flying off a suplex. A spike to the neck sends Carter to the floor for an eight and a Big Ending on the ramp gets nine. With nothing else working, Ethan grabs a piece of the barricade but Carter elbows him in the head and drops Tyrus onto the barricade. Ethan puts the steps on him and then beats the steps with a chair for the win at 10:48.
Rating: B-. This was more entertaining than I was expecting as they didn’t bother wasting time with wrestling and just started beating on each other with metal objects. Carter winning was the obvious way to go but hopefully this ends things with him and Tyrus. I know there’s some value in Tyrus as a heavy but he’s really not working as a wrestler, which to be fair is almost always the case with him.
Mike Bennett comes out and looks at Ethan.
Lashley training video.
Jeff Hardy says Matt took his own creation and promises to finish this at Slammiversary.
Eddie Edwards/DJZ vs. Andrew Everett/Trevor Lee
It’s all over the place to start until we settle down to DJZ sending Everett into the corner. A chase on the floor ends with Lee kicking DJZ in the face to take over with a near fall inside. It’s off to Edwards as things break down with Eddie’s Backpack Stunner getting two on Everett. Andrew’s moonsault hits a raised boot and Eddie takes the champ down on the floor, leaving DJZ to hit a jumping DDT for the pin on Everett at 5:13.
Rating: C. The match was fine, albeit completely meaningless. That’s the problem with this division: it’s here one week and then back a few weeks later with one vague story of Helms creating a stable and Edwards fighting against it but there’s very little to care about. The champion has taken a big backseat to Helms and if Helms never wrestles, it’s a big waste of time.
Galloway training video.
It’s time for Fact of Life with Eli Drake. After calling some people dummies, Drake says he can change the world with this Feast or Fired briefcase. This brings him to his guest tonight, the future former King of the Mountain Champion, Bram. The champ says the briefcase may be dangerous but Drake himself isn’t. That earns him a DUMMY, YEAH as Drake talks about how he’s going to win the title one way or another so Bram could just hand him the title right now. Bram thinks he should just rip out Drake’s throat so Eli leaves. Bram questions Drake’s manhood and a fight breaks out with Bram standing tall.
Ethan wants his match with Bennett tonight but Bennett says there’s one more match for Ethan first. That would be against Matt Hardy next week and Matt is a lot more nuts than when he took the title from Carter in the first place.
TNA World Title: Drew Galloway vs. Lashley
Lashley is challenging and this is a lumberjack match. They lock up to start with Lashley taking him into the corner until a big boot puts Lashley down. The spear out of nowhere sends Drew outside though and we take a break. Back with Galloway being sent out to the floor before Lashley suplexes him again.
We hit a quickly broken chinlock before Drew starts slugging away, followed by a neckbreaker for a breather. A top rope clothesline drops Lashley but the Future Shock is broken up. Something like a chokeslam gets two for Lashley but Drew grabs the Celtic Cross. The Claymore is loaded up but the lumberjacks pull Drew outside for the DQ at 11:53.
Rating: C+. The match was fun while it lasted but it was clearly just a way to set up a rematch at Slammiversary. You could tell they were going for something screwy as soon as they put the lumberjacks out there and that makes for a less than thrilling main event. Drew vs. Lashley is a good enough match but the story is only hit or miss.
Post match the lumberjacks fight with DJZ hitting a dive to take out a bunch of them. Trevor Lee does the same thing before Eddie Edwards superplexes Everett onto the pile. Bram knees Lashley but Drake hits him in the back with the briefcase. Cue Jeff Hardy to take Eli down but Matt breaks up the Swanton. Bennett throws Drake to the floor but here’s Carter to chase him off, only to eat a spear. Drew gives Lashley the Claymore and flips onto the lumberjacks to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. The ending was good but so much of this show felt like it was just sitting around waiting on the Hardys to do more stuff. Matt vs. Jeff is really dragging down what is an otherwise rapidly improving show with some feuds that make me want to see more of the show. The problem is Matt vs. Jeff is by far the biggest story going on and it wouldn’t shock me if they main evented the pay per view. There’s good stuff here but TNA’s standard problems keep holding it back.
Results
Jeff Hardy b. Willow – Twist of Fate
Sienna b. Velvet Sky – Spinning faceplant
Mike Bennett b. Earl Hebner – Big boot
Ethan Carter III b. Tyrus when Tyrus couldn’t answer the ten count
DJZ/Eddie Edwards b. Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett – Jumping DDT to Everett
Drew Galloway b. Lashley via DQ when the lumberjacks interfered
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Impact Wrestling – April 19, 2016: Stretching Instead Of Entertaining
Impact Wrestling Date: April 19, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
It’s a big night here as we have the battle of the Hardyz with the right to the last name on the line. In this case it’s an I Quit match over the name, as well as a ladder match with all of the Knockouts at once for control of the division. This isn’t about the title but rather about who runs the Knockouts as a whole. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the Hardyz feud and how big tonight is.
Knockouts Ladder Match
Pretty much every active Knockout is involved here. Gail goes after Jade to start as it’s a bunch of brawling all over the place. The Beautiful People (still a thing because of reasons) dropkick a ladder into the Dollhouse’s collective faces, only to have Jade get up and do the Terry Funk ladder around the head spot.
Gail gets pulled down and slapped by Maria, sending them up the ramp in a chase. Cue Rosemary and the Decay to blast Gail with a kendo stick and kidnap her, even further guaranteeing the winner here. The rest of the match stays broken down with Jade clearing out the ring but getting powerbombed off the ladder by Marti. Maria kendo sticks Velvet down and goes up for the contract to win control at 5:13.
Rating: D. Were you expecting anything else? Maria and Gail are the only real characters in the whole division so who else were you going to go with here? Gail being kidnapped is better than having her talk about how serious things need to be for a change and Maria is far more entertaining than the rest of the division so this is the right idea all around. Horrible match of course but Maria isn’t much of a worker.
Drew Galloway is going to call out Lashley right now.
Maria and Mike Bennett are happy.
Decay has Gail in the rafters.
Here’s Drew, with heavily taped ribs, to call Lashley out. Apparently the spears from last week have cracked his ribs and he’s not allowed to wrestle this week. However, the TNA officials didn’t say anything about him fighting tonight. Drew invites Lashley out here to finish the job but it’s Rockstar Spud coming out instead.
Spud says if there was a match right now, he’d easily become the new World Champion. He’s out here to warn us that tonight is the last night that we’re going to see Jeff Hardy. Drew is about to beat him down when Tyrus comes out to say he told us so. Those ribs are a target and that’s what Tyrus likes. He’ll take that title match next week and it doesn’t matter what condition Drew is in. Drew agrees and they shake hands. Spud goes after Drew and it’s a double beatdown on the ribs, including a big splash.
Reby Hardy is holding a camera to film Matt, who promises to make Jeff quit once and for all.
The Decay still has Gail, who Rosemary calls a pawn.
X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Trevor Lee
Lee is defending and none of them get entrances. The champ bails to the floor to start but is almost immediately chopped by both challengers. Edwards is sent into the post so Lee hooks DJZ in a chinlock. That’s broken up with a jawbreaker until Eddie comes back in with a hard shot to Lee. Shane Helms pulls DJZ to the floor but Eddie breaks up a superplex attempt. Shane gets on the apron again though, allowing Andrew Everett to run in and shove Eddie into a jumping knee to retain Trevor’s title at 4:20.
Rating: D. So much for Lee doing anything with the title and all the work that Tigre Uno put into his title reign for that matter. Now it’s all about Shane Helms and a boring string of matches where Lee is a glorified project instead of the focus of the division like he’s supposed to be.
Everett gives Edwards a 630 post match.
Post break Shane and company says that Andrew Everett is the newest member of the Helms Dynasty.
Here are Eric Young and Bram for Eric’s weekly “I’m awesome” speech. He brags about how devastating the piledriver is and says no one can beat him because everyone can try. Young is tired of TNA sucking up to these young punks like the marble mouth Scotsman Drew Galloway.
Therefore, this is the last time you’ll be seeing him because he and Bram quit. Actually not so fast because Bram doesn’t quit. Bram is tired of playing second fiddle to Eric and thinks that King of the Mountain Title would look better around a real man’s waist. Young gets in a quick piledriver and walks off, only to come back and grab a pair of scissors to shave Bram’s beard.
Jeff Hardy thinks the World Title changed Matt and he’ll do whatever he has to do tonight.
Here are Mike Bennett and Maria with something to say. Mike wants all the attention on him because it’s time for a fairy tale. Once upon a time there was a prince with full control over a kingdom and his name was Ethan Carter III (dang I was hoping for Adam Cole). Prince Ethan had it all until one day a white knight called the miracle arrived. Then one day the Prince decided to fight the knight, who took all of the Prince’s power. This is now Bennett’s Kingdom of Miracles but here’s Ethan to interrupt.
Ethan wants the record to show that it was a disqualification win but then he beat Bennett down. He likes a lot of Bennett’s style but at the end of the day, Ethan is just the better man. If Bennett won’t fight him, Ethan will be Mike’s new shadow and beat him down every chance he can. Bennett says that the two of them can fight as many times as they want and he’ll beat Ethan every time because Ethan will keep coming back with another excuse. Ethan talks about how he’s never been pinned or submitted around here but if Mike wants to be the man, face him next week in a No DQ match at Sacrifice. Bennett is game.
Gail wakes up and calls Decay insane.
Here’s Al Snow to talk about how much he can’t stand this group of fans. They’ll watch every week and complain about it on the internet but then they keep watching. Back in the day, not everyone was allowed in the wrestling business and Snow would never pay to see any of these people in the ring. Tonight, he’s giving Mahabali Shera a lesson in what wrestling really means.
Al Snow vs. Mahabali Shera
Al jumps Shera during the entrance and stomps him down before grabbing the mic and calling fans into the ring for a fight. Shera makes his comeback and knocks Snow outside, only to have Al crawl under the ring and come out the other side to deck Shera again. Back in and Snow shrugs off another comeback by hitting Shera in the head with a foreign object. Snow takes forever and covers for the pin at 5:35, giving us a great overhyped cover and celebrating.
Rating: D. Snow is playing the character really well but good night there’s just no hiding the fact that it’s Al Snow getting this kind of time. You would think there would be someone else to take this spot and get a nice run out of it but since TNA can barely run a TV show anymore, the young guys are now doing jobs for people who barely wrestle once a year.
Decay says Gail might be sacrificed.
Eli Drake will have his own talk show next week called Fact of Life.
Here’s Decay with Gail for the plan’s payoff. Rosemary calls us all pawns and puppets and threatens to cut off Gail’s hair. Abyss says the only thing that can save her now is Beer Money, so here are the champs for the save. Storm and Roode have to stay at ringside because Abyss has to issue a challenge for the Tag Team Titles. However, he wants the match to have no rules or regulations, which is called the Valley of Shadows. The match is on and Gail is released.
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
I Quit for the Hardy name. Jeff headscissors him out of the corner to start and they clothesline each other a few times. Jeff can’t get the Twist of Fate so he puts on a Figure Four of all things to make Matt scream no a lot. The hold is turned over twice so here’s Rockstar Spud for the save, only to have Jeff powerbomb him with ease. Matt uses the distraction to knock his brother out to the floor where he pelts a chair at Jeff’s head to break up a dive.
We take a break and come back with Matt bending Jeff’s arm around the barricade but getting pulled into the steel for his efforts. They head into the production area with Jeff swinging a pipe to hit Matt’s ring bell before going up towards the rafters. Jeff slides down the railing with a chair to the head but Matt still won’t quit.
Matt gets knocked onto some cases so Jeff can climb a ladder, only to have Matt climb up and hit a Side Effect to drive him though a piece of barricade. Back up and Jeff grabs a choke to knock Matt out without him quitting. That’s fine with Jeff who goes way up on top of the set for a Swanton onto Matt through a table. The match is stopped at about 18:30 as medics take care of them both and we go off the air.
Rating: C+. So yeah, after all that, there’s no finish and we’re likely getting something else out of these two in weeks to come because they’re the real stars of the show. The big dive looked good but I really don’t need to see these two doing stuff like that anymore. It was entertaining fifteen years ago but now it feels like they’re stretching instead of entertaining.
Overall Rating: C-. This show had some good stuff but it was scattered throughout a lot of weak action and far too little wrestling. You really should be able to get in more than a quick ladder match, a nothing triple threat, an Al Snow win and a main event without a finish. It really doesn’t help that the focus is on Matt vs. Jeff and Tyrus is #1 contender. Yeah there’s interesting stuff otherwise but I need WAY more than that to keep me entertained for two hours a week. It’s a watchable enough show but parts of it are going to put you to sleep.
Results
Maria Kanellis won a ladder match by pulling down the contract
Trevor Lee b. DJZ and Eddie Edwards – Jumping knee to Edwards’ chest
Al Snow b. Mahabali Shera – Foreign object to the head
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy went to a no contest
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