Impact Wrestling
Date: January 12, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the second week of Impact on Tuesday nights and Ethan Carter III is the World Champion again. That means it’s time to find a new opponent for him after Matt Hardy was completely dispatched last week in his third loss to Carter in a row. Other than that it’s hard to say what to expect here, though we are getting Drew Galloway vs. Kurt Angle in a dream match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s tournament matches, leading to Carter getting the title back.

Quick video on Angle vs. Galloway.

Opening sequence.

Tyrus tells Ethan that it’s time.

Here are Ethan and Tyrus in the ring with something to say. Ethan talks about how this is more proof of how great he is. He thanks Tyrus for letting him fight on his own last week but Tyrus says he didn’t doubt Ethan for a minute. That’s enough from Tyrus as Ethan takes the mic away from him, which doesn’t sit well with Tyrus. Ethan keeps going about how great he is until Jeff Hardy comes out in wrestling gear. Of course it’s a Hardy because this show is another playground for them.

Jeff thanks Ethan for his effort last week but Ethan says he’s done with both Jeff and Matt. No Ethan, no you’re not, because you can never be done with the Hardys around here. Jeff says Matt can speak for himself and hands Ethan a document. It’s a note from Jeff’s doctor, saying that he’s cleared to wrestle.

That’s fine with Ethan but he doesn’t think Jeff deserves a shot that quick. Ethan thinks we need an opponent from the back right now. Here’s a masked man, with Ethan making sure to play some music for him. The man is named Shynron (a high flier, probably best known in Chikara) and he promises to take care of Hardy right now.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shynron

Ethan sits in on commentary as Shynron grabs a wristlock. Jeff dropkicks the masked man in the back to put him on the floor but something like a 619 over the apron takes Jeff down again. Back in and the Twist of Fate is broken up but a Tajiri handspring into a moonsault results in a crash. Jeff throws him up for a powerbomb but drops back for a crash. The Twist of Fate puts Shynron away at 2:23.

The Dollhouse says they’re ready for Gail Kim and Kong promises to come for the title soon. The Beautiful People come in and promises to take down the Dollhouse tonight. A brawl breaks out.

Dollhouse vs. Beautiful People

It’s Kong/Jade vs. Rayne/Sky. This is joined in progress after a break and is officially a street fight. The Dollhouse is in control until Velvet suplexes Jade on the stage. Back inside, Kong is running over Madison like she’s not even there. We get some choking on the ropes as Jade starts bringing in some weapons. Jade misses a Cannonball in the corner and hits a chair by mistake but she’s still able to hit Madison in the back with a trashcan lid while Kong chokes her in midair.

Velvet gets back in and kicks a chair into Kong’s face but Rebel and Marti Bell realize they can get involved. That earns them a double beating with kendo sticks and Kong gets one to match. Not that it matters as Jade comes back with a package piledriver to put Madison away at 6:10.

Rating: D+. My goodness I’m sick of TNA just shuffling the same people into slightly different stories against the same opponents over and over again. This was watchable enough but there was no way Kong or here team were losing after she became #1 contender this past Friday. The match was fine enough but I’m tired of these same names over and over again.

Speaking of the same people being used in the same roles (albeit a bit better this time), here’s Beer Money for a reunion celebration. James talks about how much fun they love to have and how he’s back to make a living for his family, but also to have fun. Roode says the thing that split them up in the first place is the reason they’re back together. One of them is from the country and one is from the city and they’re both sorry for what they did.

Storm is sorry for all the times he kicked Roode in the face and all those bar tabs he left Bobby to pay. Roode is sorry that he broke a beer bottle over Storm’s head, which causes Storm to pour Roode’s beer into a plastic cup. Bobby cuts it off and toasts the fans but says something is missing. There’s not enough fighting going on here so here are Eric Young and Bram to interrupt. Young rants about wanting to hurt Roode even more and says he likes the way Bram thinks. Eric wants the King of the Mountain Title back so Roode says let’s do it right here and right now.

King of the Mountain Title: Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young

Roode is defending and takes Young down with an armbar to start. There’s a big stain from all of the beer before the break. Young quickly takes him down and grabs a chinlock which only lasts a few seconds. A belly to back suplex keeps the champ down but he blocks a middle rope…..something by raising a boot. A t-bone suplex sends Young flying, only to have him grab a belly to belly for two.

Roode slaps on a Sharpshooter (he’s Canadian you know), which he quickly drops down into a Crossface. A spinebuster gets two for the champ but Bram pulls the referee out. Storm spits beer in Bram’s eyes and the Englishman is taken down with a double suplex. The distraction lets Eric kick Roode low and piledrive him for the pin and the title at 7:42.

Rating: C-. Here’s ANOTHER feud that they did last year and are still going with it because they don’t have anything new to work with. Instead of Roode vs. Young, you could just as easily do Bram vs. Roode for something fresh, but instead we need to do the feud with the lame history that no one cares about. Yeah they were teammates together twelve years ago. What does it say that neither of them seem to have moved on in the last year?

Mr. Anderson is ready for his new talk show, entitled “Huh?”.

Ethan and Tyrus run into Michael Bennett and Maria in the back. The newcomers congratulate him on the title win but aren’t pleased when Ethan seems to blow them off. Bennett thinks the title looks good on Ethan’s shoulders, for now.

We look back at the Bound For Glory main event and the fallout that lead to the tournament, including Ethan getting the title back.

It’s time for the debut of Anderson’s talk show, complete with cheesy piano music. The first guests are Matt Hardy and his family, minus Jeff that is. For some reason Matt isn’t allowed to sit on the couch next to his wife and son because he gets to sit in a folding chair. Anderson gets right to the point by saying Matt choked last week.

Of course this doesn’t sit well with Matt as he brings up winning at Bound For Glory. He thought he had Ethan last week but Anderson calls him out for making excuses. We move on to Jeff, who Anderson thinks is doing Matt’s dirty work for him. Matt gets to the point: he wants one more match with Ethan and promises to win the title. That’s it for the Hardys with Reby giving a glare back to Anderson as they leave. So we sat through another segment to set up match #4 between Matt and Ethan. As in ANOTHER idea we’ve covered before.

Drew Galloway is in the crowd for storytime. Drew makes a guarantee to all of the fans here and at home: tonight will be an absolute spectacle in celebration of one of the best of all time.

Young and Bram celebrate their win and promise to get rid of Beer Money again.

Wolves/Tigre Uno vs. Jesse Godderz/Eli Drake/DJZ

Tigre and DJZ get things going with Uno grabbing a wristlock. Jesse and Eli are too busy to tag in as Pope complains about all of the confetti from Tigre’s entrance. The Wolves start double teaming Eli and throw Tigre into him to make it even worse. We settle down to Eddie vs. Jesse with Godderz taking over off a nice dropkick.

Off to Drake for a nice powerslam but Eddie hurricanranas both of them down and makes the hot tag to Davey. Everything breaks down Jesse clotheslines DJZ by mistake. The powerbomb into a backstabber is broken up and Jesse puts Eddie in the Adonis Lock, only to have DJZ break it up as payback on Godderz. Davey kicks Jesse in the head, setting up a brainbuster for the pin at 6:44.

Rating: C. This was the first really original thing all night (assuming you don’t count the Wolves fighting Jesse/Eli on Friday) and the match was also the least annoying thing to sit through so far. I’m assuming this turns DJZ face, which makes me wonder who in the world is left to challenge Tigre for the title. I’m sure TNA has a plan for that totally important title though right?

Jeff tells Matt to go for the title again.

Here’s Ethan (again) to ask Matt what he’s got to offer. This brings out Matt (again), who talks about Ethan getting his spot because of his last name. Matt knows he can’t offer any materialistic possessions, so he’s willing to put his career on the line. Ethan agrees, as long as it can be last man standing. The deal is made.

Drew Galloway vs. Kurt Angle

Feeling out process to start until Kurt suddenly throws it into high gear with an overhead belly to belly. We’re in an early chinlock for a bit before a double clothesline takes us to a break. Back with Drew hammering away in the corner, only to miss the Claymore and walk into the rolling German suplexes.

The Angle slam gets two so it’s off to the ankle. It’s only the first ankle lock though so Drew is quickly out and hitting the Futureshock for two. Off to another ankle lock but Drew rolls him out to the floor. Another suplex gets another two but the Claymore connects out of nowhere for Drew’s second near fall. There’s another Claymore for another two because main events mean you trade finishers for ten minutes.

Drew takes him to the top but gets punched into the Tree of Woe, only to have Drew sit up into a superplex. Galloway wins a quick slugout but misses a charge into the post, setting up the second Angle slam for two. With nothing else working, Kurt takes him to the top for the super Angle slam and the pin at 15:10.

Rating: B. It was good but I see little reason why Angle needs to win most of the matches on his retirement tour, which really seems to be where we’re going with this thing. If Drew is supposed to be the future (which he isn’t as he needs to gain another ten years or so), then maybe you shouldn’t have him lose here. I get why they did, but it’s not the smartest idea in the world.

Overall Rating: D. I really don’t remember the last time an episode of Impact got on my nerves this badly. We sat through three months of taped shows to get us to the “live” debut on Pop, all of which was time that TNA could come up with something fresh. Their ideas once we get to the new year: Dollhouse vs. Beautiful People again, Hardy vs. Carter again, Young vs. Roode again and a Beer Money reunion. What was TNA’s creative doing during all that time? It certainly wasn’t coming up with something fresh and interesting.

Looking at what we got tonight, I never want to see a Hardy again. It felt like Matt Hardy was in every single segment and now we get ANOTHER Carter vs. Hardy match because the first three weren’t clear enough. My guess is they finally put the title on Matt, likely with shenanigans, because that makes up for all of the previous losses in wrestling logic.

That goes back to the main problem here: we’ve seen so much of this stuff before. It felt like TNA just took whatever ideas they’ve had in the last year and threw them out there again because they worked so well the first time. This show wasn’t a horrible quality, but it was a horrible effort. With the state that TNA is in at the moment, that’s the worst possible thing they could have. I’m sure TNA fans will love it because they love whatever TNA throws at them and seem to love seeing the same ideas over and over again, but this was a really, really tough sit.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Shynron – Twist of Fate

Dollhouse b. Beautiful People – Package piledriver to Rayne

Eric Young b. Bobby Roode – Piledriver

Tigre Uno/Wolves b. Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz/DJZ – Brainbuster to Godderz

Kurt Angle b. Drew Galloway – Super Angle slam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: December 16, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

This is an interesting show as it’s the final episode of Impact to air on Destination America, putting to rest the question of what else they can air after the tournament matches are wrapped up until the debut on Pop. Tonight we’re getting a bunch of previews for the semi-finals along with a pair of non-tournament matches, which will be the first since September. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on the four semi-finalists (Lashley, Matt Hardy, Eric Young and Ethan Carter III) all wanting to be champion.

Recap of how the tournament came to be and Matt Hardy’s path back to the title. He introduces his match against Davey Richards from October 14, 2015. The match is clipped here but this is the full version of the review, which will be the case in every match repeated.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Matt Hardy vs. Davey Richards

So it’s Group Rockers. Davey takes him down to start and works on a leg lock but lets it go just as quickly. We get a chat from the round table discussion where Davey is pretty passive about the whole thing but Matt wants the title back. They head to the apron with Matt grabbing a quick Side Effect to send Davey to the floor.

Back in and Matt hooks a sleeper but Davey fights back with a jawbreaker to knock Matt to the floor, followed by a suicide dive. Josh: “Of course the ending to Bound For Glory has been trending for two weeks.” Back in and Davey fires off kicks until Matt grabs the Side Effect for two more. Matt dives into a kick to the ribs but Davey misses a top rope double stomp, setting up the Twist of Fate to give Matt the pin at 9:06.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with Matt doing his normal stuff and Davey doing all of his kicks. Matt would have been fine for a token title reign but giving him one in the spot they did it and the quick fallout are going to make it much more infamous than a feel good moment. You almost have to expect Matt to advance into the round of sixteen, likely winding up against Galloway or Carter down the line.

Matt talks about the rest of his matches so far and promises to give Eric Young an unfortunate Twist of Fate.

Group X-Division vs. Group Future 4

X-Division: Manik, Tigre Uno, Mandrews, DJZ

Future 4: Crimson, Jesse Godderz, Micah, Eli Drake

This is an :all-stars” match. DJZ and Micah finally start things off after a lot of debate between Future 4. A wristlock has Micah in trouble and it’s off to Mandrews as Josh talks about various cities representing in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania at the live show. Jesse comes in for a knee to Mandrews’ ribs but X-Division starts taking over with rotating shots to the arm.

Everything breaks down and X-Division suplexes Jesse and Micah down at the same time. Future 4 heads outside and that’s just a bad idea against a bunch of high fliers, setting up all the dives. Micah dives as well until Jesse takes Mandrews’ head off with a hard clothesline. Jesse teases a dive but stops to pose instead, as you might have expected. Manik dropkicks him to the floor and dives on the pile.

Mandrews gets broken up as well and it’s Drake tagging himself in to pound away instead of letting Jesse go for a cover. Future 4 starts taking turns on Mandrews with Crimson hitting a nice chokeslam. Drake tags himself in again and the argument (Josh: “It was like the Mega Powers exploding!”) allows Tigre to get the tag.

Crimson flips Drake off when he reaches for a tag and Jesse drops to the floor. Micah, who has history with Drake, walks away, leaving Drake on his own. Eli tries to leave but gets thrown back in by his partners, allowing Manik to kick him in the head. DJZ’s tornado DDT sets up Mandrews’ shooting star press for the pin at 10:04.

Rating: C-. This was a fine enough way to kill off ten minutes and I’m glad to see something aside from a tournament match. Future 4 turning on Drake made sense and it’s fine to see the X-Division guys working together. The match was nothing worth seeing but at least it was something different.

We look at Lashley’s path to the final four, including this match against Austin Aries on November 25, 2015.

Group Champions: Lashley vs. Austin Aries

Winner advances. Aries bounces off Lashley to start until a missile dropkick staggers Lashley a bit. That’s fine with Lashley as he throws Aries away and starts driving shoulders in the corner. Aries knees his way out of a delayed vertical suplex by knocking Lashley down to a knee but Lashley stands back up and suplexes him anyway. That is SCARY power.

Back from a break with Aries elbowing out of Lashley’s grip but getting caught in a belly to belly. The spear hits the post though and Aries follows up with a missile dropkick. Lashley slaps him out of the corner though and dead lifts him into a powerslam. I repeat my scary power line. The Last Chancery doesn’t get Aries anywhere so he goes with discus forearms. Lashley again powers out of the brainbuster and throws Aries over his head with a release German.

Aries avoids the spear but Lashley sidesteps the suicide dive. The match comes to a screeching halt as Aries is holding his arm with ninety seconds to go. Lashley finally clotheslines him down again as this thing JUST WON’T END. Aries grabs the Lash Chancery but Lashley makes the rope. Instead of standing around for the last thirty seconds, Aries tries a 450 but eats a spear to send Lashley on at 15:05.

Rating: B. At least it went out on a good match, even though Aries got stupid at the end after being smart most of the time. Lashley is the smart choice here since he actually works for TNA, but Aries was a nice surprise. I mean, I’m stupid for realizing he’s a surprise according to Josh but he’s a lot smarter than me after all.

We get some soundbytes about Lashley being incredibly dominant all year but now it’s a must win against Carter.

Now it’s time to follow EC3 around as he goes to the gym in Nashville. After seeing him lift a bit, Carter talks about how this whole World Title Series is nonsense as he should have been given the title with no hesitation. His last name hasn’t kept him undefeated and he won the Group of Death in the first round.

Bobby Roode vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Rockstar Spud

Elimination rules. Roode tags himself in to start against Spud but the Rockstar kicks him to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Spud rolling Edwards up for two before it’s off to Anderson. For some reason Spud mimes the microphone dropping down and gets clotheslined. Edwards comes back and counters the Underdog into a rollup to eliminate Spud.

Eddie goes takes down Anderson and gets two on Roode with a Backpack Stunner. Anderson tags himself in though, meaning Roode’s Crossface doesn’t count. Thankfully Anderson is smart enough to let Bobby keep the hold on as long as he can. Anderson kicks Roode outside and a Mic Check eliminates Edwards to get us down to two. Roode flips out of the Mic Check and grabs a spinebuster. Back up and Roode escapes another Mic Check, setting up the Crossface. Anderson tries to roll over but gets caught in the middle of the ring, giving us the submission at 13:20.

Rating: C. Another match that just kind of happened here with four guys doing moves to each other for no real prize. At least Roode won in the best option and the match had a bit more meaning than the eight man tag earlier. Still not a good match or anything, but at least it was fresh.

Kurt Angle talks about how important this tournament is. He’s fought all four of the semi-finalists and could see any of them winning. Angle doesn’t really pick anyone but seems to think Lashley is the favorite. Of note, he says that Matt Hardy got so close at Bound For Glory. Does Angle really not know how this whole thing started?

Video on Eric Young’s path to the semi-finals.

Here’s Young vs. Roode from November 4, 2015.

Group TNA Originals: Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

We start after a break and Young is quickly sent to the floor, only to snap Roode’s throat over the top rope. Young stays on the throat with a catapult into the middle rope and we hit the neck crank. A quick neckbreaker gets two on Roode but he comes back with an enziguri for a delayed fall. Roode grabs a spinebuster for two and counters the piledriver into a jackknife cover for two. Back up and Young grabs the referee for a distraction, setting up the piledriver for the pin at 6:50.

Rating: C. Decent enough match but these videos designed to make these regular matches feel like some big showdown between epic rivals really aren’t working. Young and Roode are the likely winners of the group as Storm seems to be gone but Abyss is always a possibility. Good enough here as Roode at least stayed on the neck for a story.

Young brags about his success and promises to win the World Title again.

Here’s Mr. Anderson vs. Ethan Carter III from November 11, 2015.

Group Champions: Ethan Carter III vs. Mr. Anderson

They chop it out to start with Anderson getting the better of it and sending Carter to the floor as we take a break. Back with Anderson firing off more chops and pounding Carter in the head as Carter tries to cover up. A quick baseball slide takes Tyrus out and a boot to the face looks to set up the Mic Check.

Carter drives him to the floor to counter, which Pope refers to as dinosaur land. Anderson gets sent into the apron and Carter bends his fingers back for good measure. We hit the chinlock as Pope and Josh compare Anderson and Carter’s upbringings in the business. Anderson fights out with less than five minutes to go and easily wins a slugout.

The Regal roll and a swanton get two on Carter and both guys are tired with two and a half minutes to go. Anderson goes up top and counters a super 1%er into a middle rope Regal roll for two more. Tyrus and Earl Hebner argue on the floor (Tyrus: “YOU’RE TOO OLD!”) so Anderson beats Tyrus up with a chair with a minute left. Hebner gets rid of the chair, allowing Carter to kick Anderson low and grab a jackknife rollup for the pin at 16:24 as TNA’s clock continues to be off.

Rating: C+. Another good match here as Carter can win something when he has to. Anderson losing doesn’t mean anything and you knew that Carter was going to be in the final sixteen and probably the final two. This wasn’t a classic or anything but it was perfectly fine for a big TV main event.

Clips of Carter at his house exercising, tormenting his pool cleaner and drinking at his bar.

It’s time for a big sitdown interview with the semi-finalists. Lashley wants to know if Carter is going to fight on his own or if Tyrus is going to do the fighting for him. Carter says he already beat Lashley so he shouldn’t have to do it again by any means. Matt thinks Carter is delusional but he’s not looking past Young, who is crazy in his own right. Eric laughs off the idea that Matt swept a tag division because Group Originals was the toughest. Back to Matt who calls Eric the next victim to suffer a Twist of Fate.

Hardy would love to face either Lashley or Carter in the finals but picks Lashley because of his integrity. Lashley thinks he’ll face Hardy and he’d love to have his first shot against Matt. Carter simply says Eric Young. Eric goes with Carter because of his history of winning. To fill in more time, we go over who they all think won’t advance. Young picks Matt because he isn’t making it out of the semi-finals. A lot of violence is promised and Matt promises that Eric won’t break him. We wrap things up with a lot of shouting.

One more video for the road ends the show.

Overall Rating: D-. What a waste of time this whole thing was. It’s basically a big preview of the final three matches but the problem is the semi-finals really aren’t that interesting in the first place. We’ve seen Carter vs. Lashley already and Young vs. Hardy isn’t a good match either. This show needs the two weeks off because I can’t imagine how bad it was going to go for the next two weeks without the show getting even worse. Just a big waste of time here and I think TNA knew it coming in.

Results

Group X-Division b. Group Future 4 – Shooting star press to Drake

Bobby Roode b. Mr. Anderson, Eddie Edwards and Rockstar Spud last eliminating Anderson

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: November 25, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the final night of group play as we’re finally going to know the final sixteen people who could become the new World Champion. That means the matches almost all have meaning for a change, which should mix things up a good bit. There’s no word on what happens after this but the finals should be coming soon. Let’s get to it.

We open with the standard recap and preview.

Group X-Division: DJZ vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno

This is a playoff after these three tied in points. It’s a two fall match with the winner of the first fall getting to leave and then the second winner advancing as well. They all go after each other to start with Tigre sending both guys to the floor and hitting a huge moonsault off the top to take them both out. Back in and Manik and Uno trade arm holds until DJZ comes back in to break it up, only to be sent to the floor. Manik puts Tigre in a Gory Special and adds a reverse Boston crab to DJZ at the same time. Back up and DJZ grabs a quick double DDT to advance to the round of sixteen.

Tigre starts fast with a reverse suplex into a Stunner for two (cool move) but gets caught in a cross armbreaker. That sends Tigre to the ropes so Manik tries a belly to back superplex, only to get elbowed down. A split legged corkscrew moonsault sends Tigre to the next round at 7:57.

Rating: C. This is becoming my standard rating for an X-Division match. It didn’t have much time to go anywhere, the high spots were fun and the title meant nothing. I’m really not sure what they see in DJZ going forward after the changes to Manik but why bother with potential when you can go with comedy?

Drew Galloway was in Glasgow and talks about being married to this business because it’s all you have time for as a wrestler. This is the longest time he’s been home in ten years and he can’t wait to come back here with his perfect partner: the World Heavyweight Championship.

Group UK: Rockstar Spud vs. Drew Galloway

Feeling out process to start until Drew unleashes the power with a gorilla press. They head outside with Drew sending him back first into the apron, only to miss a charge and go head first into the steps. Drew barely beats the count back in and misses a charge into the post to make things even worse. Some running dropkicks and an enziguri mean it’s time for Spud to take off the bowtie. The Underdog is broken up but Drew can’t bring himself to take a cheap shot, allowing Spud to grab a jumping DDT for two. Not that it matters as the Claymore (running boot, to the chest in this case) puts Spud away at 7:17.

Rating: B-. Better than I was expecting here as Spud has found that perfect formula to make you believe that he could pull off a huge upset like this without it being ridiculous. Galloway is going to make a deep run in this thing and it’s cool to see him have to sweat a bit against someone who is fun to watch in Spud. Good match here and better than I was hoping for.

Group UK

Drew Galloway – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Bram – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Rockstar Spud – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

Grado – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Group UK: Grado vs. Bram

If Bram wins, he advances to the round of sixteen. If Grado wins, there’s a three way playoff with Spud, Bram and Grado later tonight. Grado dances a lot and gets rolled up in four seconds. They had to get seven matches in tonight so this almost had to happen at some point.

Group UK

Drew Galloway – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Bram – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Rockstar Spud – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

Grado – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Group Future Four: Micah vs. Jesse Godderz

Winner advances. Micah gets sent to the floor to start as Pope talks about getting the job done no matter what he was doing. Well he certainly did a lot of jobs so he’s got something there. Back in and Jesse slowly pounds away until Micah makes his comeback to indifference. A Samoan drop puts Jesse down but he avoids a top rope headbutt, setting up the Adonis Crab to advance Jesse at 4:29.

Rating: D. Is there a reason Micah has a job? He’s generic in the ring, no one cares about him, and I don’t remember a single thing about him. Jesse is starting to turn a very weak corner and it’s always good to have a heel that you want to see get punched in the face. At least they kept this quick as this group has been death since it started.

Group Future Four

Eli Drake – 7 points (0 matches remaining)

Jesse Godderz – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Micah – 4 points (0 matches remaining)

Crimson – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Recap of Group Tag Team.

Kurt Angle has been in the UK to hype up the Maximum Impact tour. He officially announced his retirement tour and says his run is over, possibly after this tour.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Robbie E. vs. Davey Richards

Winner advances. They trade armdrags to start and it’s an early standoff. Robbie’s armbar doesn’t work and Davey sends him to the floor, only to have Robbie switch places for a flip dives off the apron. Back in and Davey takes over with a clothesline and inverted Indian deathlock. Robbie fights up with some clotheslines to set up the Boom Drop for a close two, more or less sealing his fate. They trade rollups until Davey stomps onto Robbie’s chest for two more. Creeping Death advances Davey at 7:15.

Rating: C+. Gah I can’t stand Davey Richards. He’s fun when he’s out there with Edwards but when he gets into that martial arts and LET ME SHOW YOU NINTEEN DIFFERENT WAYS I CAN KICK YOU stuff, he’s one of the most annoying guys I’ve ever seen. Robbie would have been a fun story but we’ll go with dull and overrated instead.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Davey Richards – 4 point (0 matches remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 1 point (0 matches remaining)

Group Wild Card: Crazzy Steve vs. Kenny King

If Steve wins we have another playoff but if King wins, he advances. They start fast and trade armdrags to continue a popular trend tonight. Josh recaps the Menagerie until King elbows Steve in the face to take over. Steve goes up top and honks his horn before a springboard hurricanrana gets two. What appeared to be a Codebreaker is countered into the Royal Flush to advance King, who I don’t think is with the promotion anymore, at 4:29.

Rating: F. This is your weekly WHY AM I WATCHING THIS match as Steve is an unfunny comedy guy who is still around for reasons I’ll never understand. The only good thing here is the lack of having to watch Aiden O’Shea and Steve again in a playoff. This was the worst division by about a mile and one of the few I actually dreaded.

Group Wild Card

Mahabali Shera – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Kenny King – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Aiden O’Shea – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

Crazzy Steve – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Aries says Lashley will have to be at his best to win.

Pope gives out more awards:

Move of the Tournament – Sky High to Kenny King

Upset of the Tournament – Brooke b. Gail Kim

Turkey of the Tournament – Grado vs. Rockstar Spud

Group Champions: Lashley vs. Austin Aries

Winner advances. Aries bounces off Lashley to start until a missile dropkick staggers Lashley a bit. That’s fine with Lashley as he throws Aries away and starts driving shoulders in the corner. Aries knees his way out of a delayed vertical suplex by knocking Lashley down to a knee but Lashley stands back up and suplexes him anyway. That is SCARY power.

Back from a break with Aries elbowing out of Lashley’s grip but getting caught in a belly to belly. The spear hits the post though and Aries follows up with a missile dropkick. Lashley slaps him out of the corner though and dead lifts him into a powerslam. I repeat my scary power line. The Last Chancery doesn’t get Aries anywhere so he goes with discus forearms. Lashley again powers out of the brainbuster and throws Aries over his head with a release German.

Aries avoids the spear but Lashley sidesteps the suicide dive. The match comes to a screeching halt as Aries is holding his arm with ninety seconds to go. Lashley finally clotheslines him down again as this thing JUST WON’T END. Aries grabs the Lash Chancery but Lashley makes the rope. Instead of standing around for the last thirty seconds, Aries tries a 450 but eats a spear to send Lashley on at 15:05.

Rating: B. At least it went out on a good match, even though Aries got stupid at the end after being smart most of the time. Lashley is the smart choice here since he actually works for TNA, but Aries was a nice surprise. I mean, I’m stupid for realizing he’s a surprise according to Josh but he’s a lot smarter than me after all.

Group Champions

Ethan Carter III – 7 points (0 matches remaining)

Lashley – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Austin Aries – 4 points (0 matches remaining)

Mr. Anderson – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

We recap the night because just announcing the brackets isn’t interesting enough.

Here are the official round of sixteen brackets:

Ethan Carter III

DJZ

Bram

Davey Richards

Lashley

Drew Galloway

Mahabali Shera

Eli Drake

Tigre Uno

Gail Kim

Eric Young

Kenny King

Jesse Godderz

Awesome Kong

Bobby Roode

Matt Hardy

That could be worse, but they’ve handed Carter a spot in the semifinals.

Ethan Carter III is thrilled with his draw.

DJZ is ready…..for the three women he’s brought home.

Davey Richards is of course respectful about Bram.

Eli Drake is a smarmy jerk and says he won’t be dancing with Shera. I like him more and more every time I hear him talk.

Eric Young IS GOD.

Jesse Godderz isn’t worried about any man, woman or Kong.

Bobby Roode says his toughest test is coming.

Matt Hardy thinks no one is stopping him.

Overall Rating: C-. THANK GOODNESS! I am so incredibly sick of this tournament and listening to Josh talk about how IT’S SUDDEN DEATH IN THIS GROUP and having Pope call everyone daddy every ten seconds. I understand that there has been a lot of action in this and some of it has been really good. However, so much of it has been stuff like Jesse vs. Micah or King vs. Steve.

The good is indeed good but this concept going on for two straight months with NOTHING else would drive anyone crazy. If you want to have a tournament then fine, but don’t drag it out this long. The good is completely overshadowed by the bad and uninteresting, leaving you with two months of watchable wrestling that is completely wasted because it’s the same idea over and over and over. At least it’s over now and we can get on to……the actual tournament.

Results

Tigre Uno and DJZ b. Manik – Split legged corkscrew moonsault

Drew Galloway b. Rockstar Spud – Claymore

Bram b. Grado – Rollup

Jesse Godderz b. Micah – Adonis crab

Davey Richards b. Robbie E. – Creeping Death

Kenny King b. Crazzy Steve – Royal Flush

Lashley b. Austin Aries – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: November 11, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re past the halfway point in the qualifying matches as almost everyone has had two of their three matches. Tonight it’s week six and we’re going to have some people wrap up their round robin stuff, meaning we can actually see the light at the end of a very long tunnel. Let’s get to it.

Opening recap and preview of last week and this week.

The announcers preview things as well.

Before their match, we see Madison Rayne going through some WACKY ninja training to get her ready for Gail Kim. I don’t think this needs any more explanation.

Group Knockouts: Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

Winner goes to the round of sixteen. Gail takes her down to the mat to start as Pope makes ninja jokes. A pinfall reversal sequence goes how most pinfall reversal sequences go. Madison sweeps the leg for two but Gail’s cross body gets the same as Josh figures out every possible way to say this is winner take all.

Back from a break with Gail missing her running cross body in the corner and crashing out to the floor to give Madison an opening. For some reason she follows Gail to the floor, only to get sent into the steps to change control. Back in and Gail’s dragon sleeper doesn’t go anywhere so Madison hits a basement cross body for two. Madison tries the Rayne Drop but a quick small package sends Gail to the round of 16 at 11:21.

Rating: C. Raise your hand if you didn’t see this coming the second the brackets were announced. Gail Kim is the greatest Knockout of all time and if you don’t know that, listen to Josh for all of half a second because he’s either sounding like a moron, insulting the fans for paying attention or praising Gail Kim. There’s very little in between for him. Gail winning makes the most sense, though I don’t see her doing much in the tournament itself. It’s a cool idea though.

Group Knockouts

Gail Kim – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Brooke – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Madison Rayne – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Awesome Kong – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

We get an interview with Matt Hardy who says it’s going to be trendy when he sweeps the whole Series and proves that he’s the World Champion once and for all. What better way to prove he’s the best than by beating everyone? Both life and a wrestling career are too short to have regrets and it wasn’t fair to anyone to have EC3 drag it out for years.

It wouldn’t be fair to the fans or TNA (“They might not even be on TV anymore.”) so he gave up the title for the sake of the future. He won’t be taking tonight off against Eddie Edwards because Eddie is the future, but tonight Eddie is the next victim of the Matt Hardy formula. Of course he wants to face EC3 in the finals because he wants to take away that undefeated streak.

Group Future Four: Jesse Godderz vs. Eli Drake

Jesse says he wants to win the title so he can be on a cereal box. Very slow feeling out process to start with Drake’s headlock going nowhere. A test of strength goes to Eli with the help of a knee to the ribs. Jesse’s press slam goes nowhere as his knee buckles and Drake starts in on it to show some intelligence.

Some slow kicks to the knee don’t seem to bother Jesse as he comes back with a backbreaker and enziguri, though he’s nice enough to limp after doing the moves with no issue. They trade rollups with handfuls of trunks for no count each so Drake puts him on the top but gets shoved away. That’s fine with Drake as he crotches Jesse down and puts his feet on the ropes for a pin at 6:51.

Rating: D. Bleh match here between two guys who deserve better. I really like Drake as he knows how to be a jerk as well as anyone I’ve seen in a long time. He’s not perfect by any stretch and his in ring work isn’t anything more than average, but he has a heel charisma that makes you want to see him get punched in the face. That’s more than most heels have these days and it makes for entertaining matches.

Group Future Four

Eli Drake – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Jesse Godderz – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Micah – 1 point (2 matches remaining)

Crimson – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Ethan Carter III is at TNA headquarters (which looks like a local pub) to pay the fine in person.

Drake brags about his win.

It’s time for the World Title Series awards to fill in even more time. Pope picks Matt Hardy as MVP, Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards as Match of the Series, Shera as Most Improved, James Storm as Most Disappointing and Lashley vs. Aries as the Best Match To Come.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Eddie Edwards vs. Matt Hardy

Edwards is eliminated if he loses. Matt takes it to the mat to start before they trade wristlocks. A forearm to the back has Eddie in trouble and we take an early break. Back with Matt being sent to the floor for a suicide dive but Eddie chops the post by mistake. There’s no way to fake something like that. Pope: “My lawd it’s got me checking my fingers daddy!” A Side Effect on the apron is broken up and Eddie DDT’s Matt instead.

Back in and Eddie chops with the bad hand but walks into a double clothesline to put both of them down. Eddie has to break a sleeper by falling back onto Hardy and a Backpack Stunner gets two. The Side Effect and Twist of Fate are countered into rollups for two each and a kick to the head gets the same. Eddie goes up top but gets crotched, setting up a super Twist of Fate (minus the twist) for the pin at 11:05.

Rating: C+. This match continues to show me why I like Eddie so much better than Davey. Richards tends to take things way too seriously and comes off as goofy at times while Eddie feels a lot more natural out there. Matt coming into the round of sixteen undefeated is a nice choice but I’m really hoping it doesn’t wind up with him or Ethan as champion again. It would feel like such a waste of time, which is why it’s likely to happen.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Davey Richards – 1 point (1 match remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 1 point (0 matches remaining)

We look at the end of Bound For Glory with Ethan shoving John Gaburick to draw a huge fine.

Ethan comes in to Dixie’s office and accuses her of robbing him of the title. Dixie asks what happened to him but Ethan pays the fine and leaves. This was described as a “major confrontation” earlier in the night.

Matt praises Eddie for his toughness.

Pope decides whose bubbles are going to pop soon.

Group X-Division: Mandrews vs. DJZ

Mandrews quickly takes him to the floor and moonsaults off the steps, followed by an overshot flip dive over the top to the floor. Back in and Mandrews’ standing moonsault takes WAY too much time to set up, allowing DJZ to kick him away with ease. DJZ cranks on an armbar but walks into a very fast hurricanrana for two. Another hurricanrana out of the corner gets two more and Mandrews gets all ticked off, only to charge into a shot to the face. Mandrews kicks him off the top but a shooting star hits knees, giving DJZ the pin at 5:55.

Rating: C-. I really don’t like Mandrews. He’s the definition of a guy who does a bunch of flips and that doesn’t make for interesting wrestling. DJZ at least has a character instead of just having at stupid name to go with his good to decent ability. I’m glad we’re done with Mandrews now though as he gets on my nerves every time he’s in there.

Group X-Division

Manik – 6 points (1 match remaining)

DJZ – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Tigre Uno – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Mandrews – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Video of Shera training. If they drop the dancing stuff, he might be interesting eventually.

Preview of next week.

Eric Young wants to break Josh Matthews for saying his bubble is about to burst in the tournament, even though Pope said it. Young is ready for James Storm next week.

Pope changes his pick to Young over Storm.

Clips of Micah pinning Crimson.

Group Future Four

Eli Drake – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Micah – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Jesse Godderz – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Crimson – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Ethan Carter III was in India earlier this week and promises to beat Mr. Anderson tonight.

The semi-finals will be in India.

Drew Galloway is in Scotland to prepare for his final match in the group stage.

Another preview of next week.

Video on the history between Mr. Anderson and EC3. As in all those matches where Anderson lost, just like he’s done in every match in the Series so far.

Group Champions: Ethan Carter III vs. Mr. Anderson

They chop it out to start with Anderson getting the better of it and sending Carter to the floor as we take a break. Back with Anderson firing off more chops and pounding Carter in the head as Carter tries to cover up. A quick baseball slide takes Tyrus out and a boot to the face looks to set up the Mic Check.

Carter drives him to the floor to counter, which Pope refers to as dinosaur land. Anderson gets sent into the apron and Carter bends his fingers back for good measure. We hit the chinlock as Pope and Josh compare Anderson and Carter’s upbringings in the business. Anderson fights out with less than five minutes to go and easily wins a slugout.

The Regal roll and a swanton get two on Carter and both guys are tired with two and a half minutes to go. Anderson goes up top and counters a super 1%er into a middle rope Regal roll for two more. Tyrus and Earl Hebner argue on the floor (Tyrus: “YOU’RE TOO OLD!”) so Anderson beats Tyrus up with a chair with a minute left. Hebner gets rid of the chair, allowing Carter to kick Anderson low and grab a jackknife rollup for the pin at 16:24 as TNA’s clock continues to be off.

Rating: C+. Another good match here as Carter can win something when he has to. Anderson losing doesn’t mean anything and you knew that Carter was going to be in the final sixteen and probably the final two. This wasn’t a classic or anything but it was perfectly fine for a big TV main event.

Group Champions

Ethan Carter III – 7 points (0 matches remaining)

Austin Aries – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Lashley – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Mr. Anderson – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Overall Rating: C. Much better episode this week as they’re FINALLY getting to the point with some of this stuff. It’s amazing how much more interesting things are when there’s actually something on the line and we’re not just killing time until we get to the big stuff. It also helps that the tournament itself is starting to take shape and we know some of the people in it. That allows you to actually pick some favorites instead of having so many people to go through that you don’t know where to start. Better show this week as they actually go somewhere instead of just being in a holding pattern for weeks at a time.

Results

Gail Kim b. Madison Rayne – Small package

Eli Drake b. Jesse Godderz – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Matt Hardy b. Eddie Edwards – Super Twist of Fate

DJZ b. Mandrews – Pin after a blocked shooting star press

Ethan Carter III b. Mr. Anderson – Jackknife rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: October 28, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re still in the early part of the World Title Series as we hit week #4. As much as I like the presentation as they treat this like a real sporting event, the lack of stories are making this hard for me to get into. There’s no reason for these people to be fighting other than they have some similar characteristics or backgrounds and they’ve been scheduled against each other. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s matches and see a preview of tonight’s matches.

The announcers do the same things the opening video did.

Ethan Carter III brags about kicking out of Lashley’s spear and promises to win the title.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Matt Hardy vs. Robbie E.

Feeling out process to start with Matt taking him into the corner for some right hands. Pope feels the need to explain why wins are important in this series and Josh talks about Robbie E. challenging Rob Gronkowski in a stupid idea that TNA never learns from. A corner clothesline puts Robbie on the floor but he comes back with a flip dive off the apron to put Matt in trouble.

Now Pope compares Robbie to Leif Cassady and Josh tries to convince me that Robbie might be World Champion, which continues to show the problem with this entire concept. Back in and the Side Effect from Matt and a middle rope clothesline from Robbie get two each but Matt picks it up with a big sitout powerbomb. The Twist of Fate is countered into the Boom Drop for a close two and that’s it for Robbie’s chance. Another Side Effect and another Twist of Fate give Matt the pin at 6:40.

Rating: C+. The match was good but totally uninteresting for a point that I’ve already beaten into the ground despite having probably another two months of qualifying matches before we get to the actual tournament. Robbie is a nice midcard guy but he’s on a long list of people who have no reason to be involved in a World Title competition.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 6 points (1 match remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (1 match remaining

Edwards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Richards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Gail promises to fight Awesome Kong hard again tonight. Can they just show us the Bound For Glory match so I can save some time?

Matt says Robbie is tough and he was impressed.

Robbie says he doesn’t feel like a loser because he earned some respect.

Back to Matt when Grado comes up to ask for a picture because he’s a fan. Is this their best version of comedy these days?

Video on Drew Galloway.

Group UK: Grado vs. Drew Galloway

Speaking of wastes of time. The bell doesn’t even ring for this match and Grado starts with a schoolboy trip for two. Drew throws him to the mat and starts chopping in the corner. Grado’s comedy seems to get on Drew’s nerves so he chops away and throws Grado again with a belly to belly for two.

Drew slaps him in the face and Grado comes back with some right hands and an elbow to the head. A Rock Bottom and Cannonball in the corner (called a flippy move by Pope) have Drew in trouble. Grado puts him in the Tree of Woe but Galloway sits up and grabs a German suplex, followed by the running boot (the Claymore according to Josh) for the pin at 4:39.

Rating: D+. Fine enough for a match with the most obvious ending in the whole competition so far. It would be nice if they would just put Spud and Galloway in the next round already because there’s almost no chance of anyone else moving forward. Then again that can’t be done because they’ve taped all this in advance and that’s what we’re getting like it or not. I’m sure I’m too stupid to understand why I want to watch a bunch of average and uninteresting matches though.

Group UK

Drew Galloway – 6 points (1 match remaining)

Rockstar Spud – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Bram – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Grado – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Clip of Gail Kim beating Awesome Kong at some show in the past that isn’t important enough to name.

We look back at the final destruction of the Revolution with Mahabali Shera pinning James Storm. Shera dances you know. They’re talking about it on Twitter.

Group Wild Card: Aiden O’Shea vs. Crazzy Steve

Oh come on. I know I probably complain about this Series too much but I’m supposed to want to watch this? They circle each other for about a minute to start until O’Shea slugs him down. O’Shea shoves him into the corner and takes a boxing stance as Steve is down on the mat. They head outside with Aiden punching him in the jaw but then punches the steps and post by mistake. Back in and Steve bites his hand, only to have Aiden take his head off with a clothesline for the pin at 4:47.

Rating: D. Well at least it was short. O’Shea is fine for a brawler and it’s a good idea to have him win here but this was such a waste of time. They couldn’t air something old and just give this a thirty second highlight package? This is the perfect example of a match that is making the Series feel like it’s taking forever to get through and a big reason why people aren’t very interested.

Group Wild Card

Mahabali Shera – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Kenny King – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Aiden O’Shea – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Crazzy Steve – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Abyss says the only thing that soothes him is gold because he’s a monster. He’ll win and you can take that to the bank.

Package on Storm vs. Abyss.

More clips of an unknown Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong match.

Grado is confused after getting kicked in the head and doesn’t remember anything since the end of the match.

The announcers recap Group UK.

Group TNA Originals: Abyss vs. James Storm

Before the match, Storm suggests Abyss turn around and leave so Storm can win by countout. Abyss says he’s a monster and punches Storm in the face to get things going. A chokeslam doesn’t work but Storm charges into a side slam. Back from an early break with Storm diving off the steps and having to escape a chokeslam attempt. Storm loads a chair into the corner but Abyss sends him face first into it instead.

Hebner lets it go and Abyss drops a splash for two. It’s Janice time but it gets stuck in the turnbuckle like it does every single time, setting up Closing Time and a cowbell to the head for two. Storm goes up top and counters a superplex attempt into a powerbomb, followed by a top rope elbow for another near fall. Back up and Abyss no sells the Last Call and chokeslams Storm for two. With nothing else working, Storm spits beer into Abyss’ face and hits two more Last Calls for the pin at 11:00.

Rating: C-. Way too many weapons in here and I have no idea why they would let Abyss no sell Storm’s finisher. The match wasn’t the worst in the world but more than that it was nice to see a match where I didn’t know who was going to win. That’s been the big problem with tonight’s show: I either didn’t care who won or I could figure it out as soon as the names were announced. Good enough match here, despite how ridiculous they were with the weapons here.

Group TNA Originals

Bobby Roode – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Abyss – 3 points (1 match remaining)

James Storm – 3 points (1 match remaining

Eric Young – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Shera loves the World Title Series and thinks this is a cool opportunity to his family. He respects everyone else in the group and will do his talking in the ring. The upcoming India tour is a dream come true for him and he wants to return home with the World Title.

We preview next week with Shera vs. King, Brooke vs. Rayne and an interview with Jeff Hardy. A quick preview of the interview focuses on how happy he was to see Matt as World Champion.

Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young next week in another match we’ve seen way too many times.

Group X-Division: Tigre Uno vs. DJZ

Tigre takes him down by the arm to start as the announcers bicker over who is supposed to call play by play. DJZ sends the champ (no belt in sight here) into the corner for a running dropkick. We hit the chinlock on Tigre for a bit until he pops up and dropkicks DJZ outside. A corkscrew plancha connects for the champ (Josh: “Carpet defense!”) and they trade hurricanranas back inside. Tigre’s split legged corkscrew moonsault misses and DJZ’s tornado DDT is good for the pin at 6:43.

Rating: C. Fun enough match and we have yet ANOTHER group where three people have won a match each. Josh suggested that this might lead to an X-Division Title match, even though Tigre isn’t going to be defending the thing until around Christmas. You would think that would mean vacating the title due to a lack of defenses but that’s not the case around here.

Group X-Division

Tigre Uno – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Manik – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

DJZ – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Mandrews – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Clips from Kim vs. Kong at Bound For Glory 2015.

Group Knockouts: Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong

In case you haven’t seen this one enough yet. Gail goes after the arm to start but gets sent out to the floor. Pope thinks these two are like twins. Because they know each other so well you see. A big clothesline sends Gail outside again and we take a break. Back with Gail fighting out of a camel clutch and scoring with a jawbreaker before kicking away at the legs.

Gail tries a Black Widow but opts to dropkick Kong to the floor and dive off the apron with a flying forearm. Back in and Gail’s cross body is countered into a World’s Strongest Slam for two we as have under five minutes to go (meaning their clock is way off this week). The chokeslam is countered into a DDT and a high cross body gets two for Gail. Kong loads up a powerbomb but gets caught in a hurricanrana to give Kim the pin at 13:58.

Rating: C. Well they certainly had another match. This is considered one of the greatest rivalries in TNA history and it’s really just ok. Yeah they had some awesome matches about nine years ago but I haven’t seen them do anything above average in years now. This was a decent enough match but nothing that makes me want to see them fight again.

Group Knockouts

Brooke – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Gail Kim – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Awesome Kong – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Madison Rayne – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Overall Rating: D. The show is over and I’m totally numb. I don’t have any feelings about it and I really didn’t for the two hours the show was on the air. The wrestling was adequate for the most part and there were times where I didn’t know who was going to win, but I didn’t care. These shows (and we’re just getting started with them) are offering no reason for me to care and it’s getting worse every week. It’s really hard to drive a show on pure wrestling and this is the proof of why.

For two hours tonight, I sat here listening to Josh and Pope do the same analysis of what it means for someone to be two matches in with no points or how confident they must be to have six points and only one match to go. The groups are the exact same idea with different names included and if you’ve watched TNA for more than five minutes you can pretty much pick the field of sixteen from here. I’m sure the TNA super fans will have some excuse for why the show bombed like the World Series, the Republican debate etc., because there’s ALWAYS something else on that interferes with TNA.

Maybe next week we can cancel all other TV and air Impact on every channel. Then people can be collectively bored by this concept with no individual stories and no real reason to watch until around Christmas because this company spent years putting on boring TV and keep getting canceled but we’re supposed to treat them like some kind of plucky victim that never did anything wrong. This is boring television and the audience tuning out is proving it, no matter what excuses TNA’s diehard fans have.

Results

Matt Hardy b. Robbie E. – Twist of Fate

Drew Galloway b. Grado – Claymore

Aiden O’Shea b. Crazzy Steve – Clothesline

James Storm b. Abyss – Last Call

DJZ b. Tigre Uno – Tornado DDT

Gail Kim b. Awesome Kong – Hurricanrana

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 21, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s week three of the World Title Series and that’s really all there is to say. These matches don’t have stories and it’s too early to make many predictions. Tonight we’ll probably start seeing some of the second matches for some of the people, but it’s going to be a long time before any of the eight groups start to wrap up. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the events that set up the Series (which seems like a weekly thing) and last week’s results.

The announcers recap things up to this point and preview tonight’s matches.

Group Champions predict who will go on to the next round. We saw some of this last week so they’re already repeating footage. Carter thinks his clone will advance along with him.

Group Champions: Austin Aries vs. Mr. Anderson

Feeling out process to start as Josh says that tonight’s main event is Lashley vs. Anderson. Now I’m pretty sure he meant Ethan Carter III but I’m just an internet nerd who pays attention to the rules so I’m sure that it’s just Ethan’s aforementioned clone disguised as Anderson and not Josh not being able to read the sheet in front of him properly. We go split screen to hear more from Aries as he misses a missile dropkick back in the ring.

Anderson goes after the arm with some punches to the shoulder and a quickly broken armbar. Aries comes right back with a slingshot elbow (Pope: “Shades of Austin Starr.”) and the announcers discuss Ethan not knowing what independents are. A double cross body puts both guys down and we take a break. Back with Aries flipping over Anderson’s back as we hit five minutes left.

Aries sends him to the floor for a suicide dive but Anderson comes back with the Regal Roll for two. Anderson tries another from the middle rope but gets slammed down, setting up the 450 for an even closer near fall. We see Thea getting nervous on the floor. This changes nothing whatsoever but she is in fact there. How very TNA of her.

A spinwheel kick of all things gets a near fall for Anderson and now the middle rope Regal Roll gets the same thing with less than two minutes to go. They fight over finishers for a bit until Aries connects with the discus forearm. The running dropkick staggers Anderson on the top and a super brainbuster kills Anderson dead for the pin at 14:02, eliminating Anderson from the competition.

Rating: C+. This took time to get going but picked way up by the end. That super brainbuster looked great and while Aries has almost no chance of advancing to the next round, at least we’re getting some good matches. It’s good to see someone eliminated early, but due to the format we still have to sit through his mostly meaningless matches due to the nature of the format. That’s going to get old fast.

Group Champions

Austin Aries – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Lashley – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Ethan Carter III – 1 point (2 matches remaining)

Mr. Anderson – 0 points (1 match remaining)

We’ll see the Bound For Glory main event later. You knew this was coming sooner or later.

Video on the X-Division Title match at Bound For Glory.

Group X-Division: Tigre Uno vs. Mandrews

Tigre doesn’t have the X-Division Title with him. Mandrews rides a skateboard to the ring while wearing his hat backwards. So he’s a 90s kind of guy. Tigre quickly takes him down to start but they go to a standoff with Mandrews having to explain a fist bump to Uno. Mandrews takes him down and surfs on the champ’s back, followed by a standing moonsault for no cover. Josh talks about how someone in the X-Division basically has no chance to ever be World Champion aside from Option C. Thanks for making it clear that the match I’m watching has almost no chance of mattering.

Tigre kicks him to the floor and scores with a baseball slide as Josh breaks down the math on Group Champions while getting in the phrase “playing spoiler” as many times as he can. Back in and Mandrews knocks him to the floor for a flip dive of his own but instead of following up he takes a lap around the ring high fiving fans. Back in Mandrews misses a shooting star and gets German suplexed into the corner. A quick corkscrew splash out of the corner (similar to Starship Pain) gives Tigre the pin at 6:42.

Rating: C. This was one of the better X-Division matches in a while as they actually had a bit more time than usual. Tigre is clearly a few steps ahead of everyone else in the division and is the best guy they’ve had there in a long time, but as Josh said: he has no chance of ever moving up the card and that’s almost all there is to it.

Group X-Division

Tigre Uno – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

DJZ – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Manik – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Mandrews – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Austin Aries says Thea’s smile is all the extra motivation he needs.

Pope says you don’t want a countout because you want a win. So do countout wins not get you three points? That’s never been made clear.

Here’s the main event from Bound For Glory 2015.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Drew Galloway

Carter is defending and Jeff Hardy, Carter’s former employee, is guest referee. As usual, JB says Drew is standing when he’s kneeling. Tyrus tries to cheat thirty seconds in and gets ejected. Matt and Drew take turns punching Ethan in the corner and a clothesline puts the champ on the floor. Drew goes after Matt with some forearms to the back and a big headbutt as Ethan comes back in.

Carter knocks Matt out to the floor and stops to yell at Jeff for no apparent reason. A cravate slows Drew down but they trade cross bodies to drop both guys. Everyone gets back in but Matt and Ethan are quickly on the floor, allowing Drew to hit a big flip dive and take Hardy out. It’s table time but Drew picks Ethan up and hits a White Noise onto the steps for a big thud. Matt makes the save and puts Drew on top of Ethan (there’s no count for no apparent reason) for a double stack moonsault.

Ethan runs Jeff over by mistake and walks into the Side Effect but there’s no one to count. Carter is up first and puts Drew on the table at ringside, only to suplex Matt from the apron through Galloway in a big crash. Back in and a TKO gets two on Matt but Drew comes back in and tries to pull Matt off the top. Hardy headbutts him into the Tree of Woe but Ethan comes of to make it a superplex, only to have Drew do a sit up to add a German superplex in an impressive spot.

Matt and Drew slug it out so Ethan gives them both the 1%er at the same time for two each. The fans aren’t even reacting to these near falls and Jeff has barely been a factor so far. Ethan realizes that Jeff needs to get involved so he shoves the referee and demands a DQ. It’s No DQ though so Ethan grabs a chair, only to have Jeff take it away. Ethan slaps him again so Jeff lays Carter out with a Twisting Stunner. Drew adds a running boot and Matt hits the Twist of Fate on Drew for the pin and the title at 20:01.

Rating: C-. THEY ACTUALLY DID IT! They took the stupidest possible outcome of the three and actually went with it because TNA really is that stupid. Matt Hardy lost his two title shots, didn’t get the pin to get into this match, and then wins the title at 41 years old with help from his more popular brother when you have Drew at 30 and Ethan at 32 right there. Instead though, OLD GUYS RULE!

The Hardy Family celebrates while Ethan goes to the back to yell at Dixie.

Now, that last half hour? None of it matters because the title was vacated less than two days later so forget all this.

Ethan says he’s winning the title back for himself and he’s going to be lethal against Lashley tonight. It’s not over until he wins.

The announcers talk about Group Wild Card.

We get a thirty second clip of Jesse Godderz making Crimson tap out to the Adonis Lock. Yeah they’re so strapped for material that they’re airing old matches, but to be fair, it’s probably better than watching the whole thing.

Group Future Four

Jesse Godderz – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Micah – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Eli Drake – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Crimson – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Jesse gives us a top five list of reasons why he’s going to win the World Title Series with #1 being “look at me.”

Clips of Micah vs. Eli Drake going to a double countout for 1 point apiece.

Group Future Four

Jesse Godderz – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Micah – 1 point (2 matches remaining)

Eli Drake – 1 point (2 matches remaining)

Crimson – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

The hosts do their swipe right/swipe left game for a few names.

Group X-Division: Manik vs. DJZ

The announcers cover the mask being back by saying Manik wants better peripheral vision. Manik works on the arm to start but gets armdragged down a few times. A nice dropkick knocks Manik down again but the announcers would rather talk about Shane Helms (the greatest cruiserweight of all time according to Josh and Pope).

Manik cranks back on the arm again and stomps away before rolling some suplexes. Josh calls Pope referring to a suplex as a souffle the stupidest thing he’s ever heard in wrestling. I’d actually think that was calling your fans a bunch of internet nerds but what do I know. A quick backbreaker gets two for DJZ but he dives into two boots to the ribs. Manik misses a frog splash but comes right back with something like a GTS but with a kick instead of knee for the pin at 6:49.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to see here but that’s the case for so many X-Division matches these days. Both guys are fine in the ring, which is something I never thought I’d say about DJZ. Manik is a guy who could be something interesting if they would just let him be himself, but that might come too close to a personality in the division and that’s not going to happen anytime soon.

Group X-Division

Tigre Uno – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Manik – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

DJZ – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Mandrews – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Clip of Carter vs. Lashley from over the summer.

Group Champions: Lashley vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter hides in the corner and then on the floor for the first two minutes. Lashley finally gets his hands on him and scores with some running shoulders to the ribs. A clothesline puts Carter on the floor and we take a break. Back with Lashley following Carter to the floor, only to get clubbed in the back and sent into the steps.

Carter dives into a spinebuster on the floor but Tyrus posts Lashley to keep his boss in it. They get back inside but Carter sends Lashley right back to the floor for a slam from Tyrus. We’re under five minutes to go as Carter puts on a camel clutch. That goes nowhere and they’re both down again. An eye rake gets Carter out of a torture rack so Lashley powerslams him down and grabs a rear naked choke. Tyrus helps out again for the save and it’s a Stinger Splash from Carter.

We’ve got two minutes to go as Lashley scores with a powerbomb, followed by the spear. Tyrus pulls Lashley to the floor though, giving Ethan time to kick out. This time Tyrus just gets in the ring but gets speared down, allowing Carter to grab a chair (just like he did over the summer). Lashley blocks it but gets kicked low, setting up the 1%er for the pin on Lashley at 15:40.

Rating: C+. Another nice match here to close out the show which is always a nice bonus. Carter winning makes sense and is likely letting him move on to the next round. Odds are Lashley beats Aries whenever they finally get around to that match, setting up the two winners for the group. Tyrus got a bit annoying here but that’s his job. Well that and being #1 contender for reasons I don’t want to understand.

Group Champions

Austin Aries – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Ethan Carter III – 4 point (1 match remaining)

Lashley – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Mr. Anderson – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Overall Rating: C. The show was again fine but again nothing I needed to see. The big lesson I’ve gotten from the first three weeks and just over 1/3 of the qualifying matches is that this really needed to be a field of just sixteen. There are so many people in it that are just there to fill in spots and you can tell who is most likely to advance out of each group pretty easily.

I’m glad they’re starting to just air clips of some of them though as it’s going to make this a lot easier to sit through. The Series has been far better than I was expecting, but it’s still not the most interesting thing in the world when this whole thing is a big qualifier for another tournament with no stories going on during the eight to ten weeks of the pool play. This show had some of the bigger names though and it definitely made things more entertaining, at least for a night.

Results

Austin Aries b. Mr. Anderson – Super brainbuster

Tigre Uno b. Mandrews – Corkscrew splash

Manik b. DJZ – Kick to the head

Ethan Carter III b. Lashley – 1%er

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Bound For Glory 2015
Date: October 4, 2015
Location: Cabarrus Arena and Events Center, Concord, North Carolina
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s TNA’s biggest show of the year and they’ve had all of two weeks to set it up. Well save for the main event which was changed with two minutes to go on the final episode of Impact. It’s hard to guess what to expect here but it could range from a fun show to another disaster for the company on what could be their last pay per view ever. Let’s get to it.

It’s a basic opening video with all of the matches getting a quick recap and a voiceover saying they’re all bound for glory.

X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Manik vs. DJZ vs. Andrew Everett

Tigre Uno is defending and this is Ultimate X, meaning the title is hung from the structure above the ring and whoever pulls it down wins. It’s a big brawl to start as you can see the arena looking mostly dark, likely hiding a small crowd. Everyone is running all over the place with no flow or story to start. DJZ clotheslines Everett down but it’s Tigre sending the challengers to the floor, only to have Manik break up a dive.

DJZ comes back in and tries a dive of his own, which the camera misses. They saw him dive, but the crash is lost to the ages. Tigre and Everett’s dives are at least seen but Manik breaks up Everett’s climb attempt with some rolling suplexes. Manik and DJZ plant Tigre with a double facebuster but neither is able to get the belt down. Tigre comes back in with a reverse suplex into a Stunner on Everett, only to have Manik break up his attempt at the title.

Everett crushes the champ with a 630 for the big spot of the match. Not to be outdone, Tigre kicks DJZ to the floor and busts out a 450 from the top to the floor. Everett climbs on top of the ropes and walks across using the structure for balance but Tigre crawls over to kick him in the ribs for a big crash, allowing Tigre to retain at 9:42.

Rating: C+. It was fun and full of big spots but there’s nothing we haven’t seen before. Tigre winning is a good idea, but can we please get him a story? The only thing he’s had since he won the title was the joke with Donald Trump which was at least mildly entertaining as we got to hear something about him. Unfortunately, he’s never had anything in the ring to get people interested and it’s hurting things.

Post match here’s the debuting Gregory Helms to……raise Tigre’s arm. No attack or challenge or anything. One might think Helms vs. Uno could have been a good match for the title here but why have something interesting when you can have a gimmick instead?

The three people in the main event arrived earlier.

Here’s Ethan Carter III to complain about the main event being turned into a triple threat by the hands of his great Aunt Dixie. He rips on his opponents with Drew standing up for wrestling and Matt for already losing two title shots. Ethan has Bound for Glory in his blood but he’s beyond greatness. This was total and complete filler because they only booked seven matches on the biggest show of the year.

Bound For Gold Gauntlet Match

This is your standard gauntlet match, meaning a mini Royal Rumble but the final two will have a one on one match with the winner getting a future World Title shot. Mr. Anderson is in at #1 and his mic doesn’t drop. The guy has one aspect to his whole character and TNA managed to screw that up. Jesse Godderz is in at #2. They shake hands to start and Anderson scores with some armdrags. A gorilla press sends him into the corner though so Anderson offers another handshake.

Jesse catches the boot to the ribs but Anderson is waiting with a thumb to the eye. Eli Drake (minus the He-Man chest gear) is in at #3 and the heels double team Anderson. Mr. finally comes back with a double clothesline and it’s Al Snow (an unannounced name) in at #4. Al does all of his usual stuff including the trapping headbutts on Godderz. Jesse clotheslines Eli but gets dropkicked by Anderson.

Snow and Anderson clean house but don’t eliminate anyone until Aiden O’Shea (formerly known as Jay Bradley) is in at #5. He’s billed as a thug and looks like as a Sheamus knockoff. O’Shea hammers away and it’s Robbie E. (with no entrance video) in at #6. No eliminations yet. Robbie and Al form an awkward alliance to clean house until Snow punches Robbie in the face. A shot from Head eliminates Drake and it’s Mahabali Shera in at #7. Shera cleans house but stops to dance. As in the whole match stops for a dance party.

O’Shea finally remembers that he’s a brawler and starts fighting again, only to get clotheslined out to the floor. Tyrus is in at #8 and house is cleaned again. Everyone tries to slow the monster down and it’s Chris Melendez in at #9. Melendez kicks a few people with the combat boot until Tyrus puts out Melendez and Snow with ease. Shera is out as well and it’s Tommy Dreamer, in yellow polka dot pants, is in at #10. We currently have Dreamer, Tyrus, Robbie, Anderson and Jesse Godderz.

Dreamer gets in a low blow and cross body to put Tyrus down but Jesse dropkicks him in the face. Abyss is in at #11 and chokeslams Robbie. We get the showdown of the giants but since they haven’t ripped off a WWE gag in a long time, Pope jumps off commentary to enter at #12. Pope looks at Abyss and Tyrus, turns around and eliminates himself. Well at least it was funny. Dreamer and Anderson load up superplexes but Abyss and Tyrus turn them into Towers of Doom in a nice spot. Totally scripted looking but nice.

Abyss and Tyrus do another big staredown and it’s Tyrus getting the elimination, only to eat a double DDT from Dreamer and Robbie. Jesse and Robbie fight to the apron with Godderz grabbing a headscissors for the elimination. Anderson Mic Checks Dreamer and throws him out so it’s Anderson vs. Godderz vs. Tyrus. Another Mic Check lets Anderson eliminate Jesse so it’s Anderson vs. Tyrus in a regular match won by pin or submission.

Anderson picks Tyrus up for the Regal roll for two as Josh mentions that the winner of this can challenge for ANY title they want. That’s a new rule for the match and Pope immediately asks why you would want to try for any other title. Anderson tries another slam but Tyrus grabs a quick slam and drops a splash for the pin at 24:30.

Rating: D. It wasn’t horrible but it was clear that they were just filling in as much time as they could. On top of that, I’m supposed to get hyped up (potentially since TNA changes rules with thirty seconds to go in the match) for Brodus Clay vs. Derrick Bateman playing Diesel vs. Shawn Michaels? That’s the best they’ve got after all this time? I know Shera was stupid but at least he was a fresh name. Their solution is a 42 year old former dancing dinosaur? If that’s the best they can do, they’re in more trouble than anyone else is going to be able to save.

Post match Ethan comes out to say that he and Tyrus will be the next Tag Team Champions but Tyrus says he won this on his own. Therefore, he’s coming for the World Heavyweight Championship of the World.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Brian Meyers/Trevor Lee

The Wolves are defending after taking the belts back from Meyers and Lee, who won with a Feast or Fired briefcase. Meyers and Lee attack to start but the Wolves take over on Brian with their smooth tandem offense. Brian gets Eddie into the corner and the challengers take over again with some hard stomps and a hair pull. Lee, billed as an internet sensation, pulls Eddie back to the corner and it’s off to Brian for a chinlock.

Meyers starts grabbing the leg before it’s back to Lee for a chinlock of his own. Eddie gets out with a Stunner but Brian breaks up a tag attempt. The chinlockery hour continues as the fans are trying to get into this. Eddie finally breaks free and dives over for the hot tag to Davey.

Everything breaks down and Eddie fights Meyers to the floor, leaving Davey to hit a handspring kick to the face. A t-bone suplex sends Lee outside and the Wolves hit stereo suicide dives in a nice spot. Back inside and Davey’s top rope double stomp gets two on Trevor with Meyers making the save. Lee’s German suplex gets a very close two on Eddie but it’s a hurricanrana to put Lee down, leaving the Wolves to hit something like Chasing the Dragon for the pin on Trevor at 14:03.

Rating: B. That’s probably the match of the night and I could live with that. The Wolves were never in any real jeopardy here but at least they got a good match here. Lee is definitely the class of the team as Meyers is just a guy in tights. The Wolves REALLY need competition at this point and it’s getting repetitive to watch them destroy everyone.

Drew Galloway says he’s in a No DQ match tonight and he’s willing to kill himself to be champion.

King of the Mountain Title: Bobby Roode vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley, wearing a sweat band, is challenging after answering an open challenge on Wednesday. Feeling out process to start with Lashley countering Roode’s wristlock into a headlock. Lashley’s delayed vertical suplex gets two and he easily escapes the Roode Bomb. A German suplex puts Roode down and we hit the chinlock. They seem to have a lot of time to work with here.

Roode comes back with a Blockbuster for two before they trade spinebusters. A running elbow knocks Roode off the apron and he crashes shoulder first into the barricade. Back in and the shoulder acts up, allowing Lashley to score with a powerslam. The spear gets two and a quick Roode Bomb gets the same as we do the completely traditional trading of finishers.

Lashley powers out of the crossface and grabs a Kimura. That goes nowhere either so both guys hit the other’s finisher for two each. They’re just going through the main event tropes here and it’s still not interesting after seeing it for years in WWE. Lashley pops back up and tries another Kimura, only to get countered into another Roode Bomb to retain Roode’s title at 14:17.

Rating: C+. Good match but nowhere near as good as their stuff from the beginning of the year. To be fair though that’s likely due to having no reason to fight each other besides “hey neither of us have a match.” It felt like a WWE style main event match and that’s fine in theory, but doing it for a midcard title that has more issues remembering what it’s called than who is fighting for it holds them back a bit.

Matt Hardy talks about growing up here in North Carolina and says nothing would be sweeter than winning the title in Charlotte. He’ll have to settle for the suburbs but Matt has always been a second rate version of a main event star.

Billy Corgan comes out to show us highlights from Earl Hebner being inducted into the TNA Hall of Fame and a package on Earl’s career.

Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Gail Kim

Kim is defending and these two have had a long rivalry over the years. Gail gets shoved down to start so she tries a headlock and gets thrown down again. You would think she would learn after the first time but wrestling rarely works that way. Kong nails a big clothesline as JB mentions that no one has had cell phone service in this building all day. Gail’s cross body gets two and the announcers start talking about her celebrity chef husband.

Kong hooks a camel clutch before switching over to a cross armbreaker. Gail rolls out and cranks on a front facelock. Back up and Gail tries something like a reverse Black Widow (as in Gail is upside down), only to have Kong Samoan drop her for two. This is technically fine but really not interesting stuff so far. Kong blocks Gail’s hurricanrana attempt and a middle rope splash gets two.

They head outside with Kong grabbing a chair but Gail’s husband Robert Irvine yells at her to break it up. As Hebner tells Irvine to sit down, Kong gives Gail a release Implant Buster onto the chair. The spinning back fist gets two back inside but Gail gets out of the middle rope Implant Buster with a kick to the head. More kicks set up Eat Defeat to retain Gail’s title at 10:05.

Rating: C+. Well sure why not. Gail can now head over to the other stories in the division and bore us against all of them for a change. This was their usual good match but I have no idea why Kong didn’t get the title back here as there’s really nothing left to see Gail do in the division and Kong hasn’t held the belt in years.

Jeff Hardy tells the creatures to mount up because nothing can save EC3.

Eric Young vs. Kurt Angle

This is a result of Young hurting Angle and Kurt coming back from injury to fight the crazy Eric. With no build, this is announced as a No DQ match. Young says he has no issue with crippling Kurt and taking away his livelihood but Kurt says this has been made No DQ, which the announcers already said. They head to the floor almost immediately with Angle in control, only to take it back in for a big belly to belly for two.

Young comes back with a piledriver and Angle rolls to the floor holding his head and neck. The match basically stops as medics come out to look at Angle. Kurt starts walking to the back but Young breaks it up and attacks the medics. Young throws Kurt back inside and hits him in the head with a chair. They head outside again and Angle grabs a German suplex to block a piledriver on the exposed concrete.

Back in and Kurt’s neck gives out again but he’s still able to flip Young off and roll some Germans. The Angle Slam gets two but Young pops up and sends him hard into the post twice in a row. The top rope elbow gets no cover as Young goes up for a second elbow drop to the back. Eric gets really evil and loads up a super piledriver, only to have Angle backdrop him out and grab the ankle lock. For some reason he lets go of the grapevine though and Eric gets the rope, only to have him pull Young back in for the grapevine again, making Young tap at 13:09.

Rating: D+. Well so much for Eric’s career and ALL HAIL KURT FREAKING ANGLE BECAUSE HE IS THE GREATEST THING EVER. This is TNA’s biggest problem in a nutshell: they’ve built Young up as this killer and then they have Angle come in and beat him despite Angle leaving in three months. All hail the old guys and screw anyone who might get over by getting a big win over them because that’s how TNA rolls: it’s all about people in their 40s and making sure they look as amazing as they can for one last payday because TNA’s future will take care of itself.

The announcers preview the main event a bit.

Video on the main event and of course the audio messes up. These jokes write themselves.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Drew Galloway

Carter is defending and Jeff Hardy, Carter’s former employee, is guest referee. As usual, JB says Drew is standing when he’s kneeling. Tyrus tries to cheat thirty seconds in and gets ejected. Matt and Drew take turns punching Ethan in the corner and a clothesline puts the champ on the floor. Drew goes after Matt with some forearms to the back and a big headbutt as Ethan comes back in.

Carter knocks Matt out to the floor and stops to yell at Jeff for no apparent reason. A cravate slows Drew down but they trade cross bodies to drop both guys. Everyone gets back in but Matt and Ethan are quickly on the floor, allowing Drew to hit a big flip dive and take Hardy out. It’s table time but Drew picks Ethan up and hits a White Noise onto the steps for a big thud. Matt makes the save and puts Drew on top of Ethan (there’s no count for no apparent reason) for a double stack moonsault.

Ethan runs Jeff over by mistake and walks into the Side Effect but there’s no one to count. Carter is up first and puts Drew on the table at ringside, only to suplex Matt from the apron through Galloway in a big crash. Back in and a TKO gets two on Matt but Drew comes back in and tries to pull Matt off the top. Hardy headbutts him into the Tree of Woe but Ethan comes of to make it a superplex, only to have Drew do a sit up to add a German superplex in an impressive spot.

Matt and Drew slug it out so Ethan gives them both the 1%er at the same time for two each. The fans aren’t even reacting to these near falls and Jeff has barely been a factor so far. Ethan realizes that Jeff needs to get involved so he shoves the referee and demands a DQ. It’s No DQ though so Ethan grabs a chair, only to have Jeff take it away. Ethan slaps him again so Jeff lays Carter out with a Twisting Stunner. Drew adds a running boot and Matt hits the Twist of Fate on Drew for the pin and the title at 20:01.

Rating: C-. THEY ACTUALLY DID IT! They took the stupidest possible outcome of the three and actually went with it because TNA really is that stupid. Matt Hardy lost his two title shots, didn’t get the pin to get into this match, and then wins the title at 41 years old with help from his more popular brother when you have Drew at 30 and Ethan at 32 right there. Instead though, OLD GUYS RULE!

As for the match itself, it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. This was your standard triple threat match with some decent action but it didn’t do anything new. Galloway losing makes my head hurt but at least we had a watchable match instead of the disasters we had to sit through last year.

Ethan freaks out on Dixie in the back (because we NEEDED a Dixie cameo) and says she’s dead to him.

Matt’s wife and son get in, along with the Hardys’ dad (who looks like he would rather be ANYWHERE else) to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. To recap, Tyrus is 42, Gail Kim and Bobby Roode are 38, Kurt Angle is 46 and Matt Hardy is 41. These people are the winners and therefore bigger stars of the company. That’s your future people. A bunch of people who got famous in WWE (save for Roode) and are probably in the twilights of their careers. Now they’re actually setting up what looks like Matt Hardy vs. Tyrus for a title shot. I mean……yeah I think that speaks for itself actually.

Overall the show was just there. It had its moments and some good matches here and there, but that gauntlet just killed anything they could have gotten going. It was long, dull, and had a lame ending that not a lot of people wanted to see. The main event wasn’t bad and the Tag Team Title match worked, but nothing on here felt like a big match. A good chunk of that is due to how little time they had to build, but instead TNA decided their best bet to stay on TV was to have their all-star team beat a bunch of rookies and castoffs.

Matt winning the title was a fun moment but it’s really stupid when they’re in the position they’re in. TNA needs someone that fans can get behind and going off of a “HE FINALLY DID IT” moment isn’t going to make that work. This was much more about however many people they could find to accept free tickets tonight and not looking forward to the future, which has always been one of TNA’s biggest problems.

This show did nothing to make me think TNA has hope going forward and it was the same bunch of problems they’ve had for years now. Off to India like nothing is wrong though, because that’s the TNA mindset: shrug it off and pretend there are no problems while you get thrown off of yet another network because fewer and fewer people want to watch this nonsense.

Oh and in case you’re wondering: there was no mystery third announcer. Not mentioned, not referenced, not that it matters.

Results

Tigre Uno b. DJZ, Andrew Everett and Manik – Uno pulled down the title

Tyrus won a gauntlet match last eliminating Mr. Anderson

Wolves b. Brian Meyers/Trevor Lee – Brainbuster to Lee

Bobby Roode b. Bobby Lashley – Roode Bomb

Gail Kim b. Awesome Kong – Eat Defeat

Kurt Angle b. Eric Young – Ankle lock

Matt Hardy b. Drew Galloway and Ethan Carter III – Twist of Fate to Galloway

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Slammiversary 2015
Date: June 28, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Mike Tenay

This should be an interesting one as the company has already taped the next month’s worth of TV before this show, but at the same time there’s some interesting stuff going on here too. The main event (in theory) is the King of the Mountain match with Jeff Jarrett returning for one more match (allegedly). Let’s get to it.

We open with the highlight package over the years. Of course this means mainly focusing on Sting, Hogan and Angle.

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno

Tigre is defending in an elimination match with Tigre starting fast until he sends everyone to the floor for a big dive. Back in and Manik slams the champ down and we hit a chinlock, basically defeating the purpose of the entire division. DJZ tries to break up a springboard and eats a dropkick to the face for his efforts. Serves him right. Back in and Manik knees DJZ in the face because he’s still not over that broken springboard.

Manik suplexes the champ down but it’s DJZ coming back in with some nice flips and a wristdrag/headscissors combo to take both guys down. A running double knee puts all three guys down and Dinero drops a Contra Code reference. It’s DJZ up first with a modified Tower of Doom as he hits a Sliced Bread off an electric chair, only to have Tigre nail him in the face and hit a twisting split legged moonsault for the elimination at 9:45. Pope referred to it as a move that is difficult to describe.

The champ misses a top rope stomp but gets his knees up to block a splash. His rollup gets two and Manik hits a nice twisting chest buster, followed by a frog splash for two. There’s nothing going on between these spots. Back up and Tigre mostly misses a corkscrew moonsault but it’s enough to put Manik away and retain the title at 12:09.

Rating: C. This was the spotiest spotfest that I’ve seen since…..well since the last Ring of Honor show I saw. Again, there’s no story or reason to have this match other than to say “hey here’s an X-Division Title match”. Tigre is fine as a high flying champion, but they need a story to give us a reason to care about the guy.

Robbie E. says tonight is serious. He’s been here five years (not quite) and it’s time to stop the dancing and being a goof.

We recap the BroMans’ split, which is all about Jesse claiming that it was his work that made the team a success.

Robbie E. vs. Jesse Godderz

Jesse is officially “The Man”. Before the match they keep up the stalling with Jesse bragging about his success as the fans let him know that they don’t care. Robbie, with new music, cuts him off and beats Jesse up at ringside before doing the same inside. A big backdrop sets up a dive onto Jesse as this is all E. so far.

Godderz finally hits a powerslam on the floor but can’t get Robbie up for what looked like a gutwrench suplex. Instead a backbreaker gets two and we hit the bearhug on Robbie. That goes as far as a bearhug is going to go in 2015 and Robbie comes back with a middle rope cross body.

E. wins a slugout but gets caught in a buckle bomb, only to have a double clothesline put both guys down. This time Jesse’s regular powerbomb gets two and the Adonis Lock (Boston crab) goes on, only to have Robbie make the ropes without too much effort. Robbie comes right back with a reverse DDT for a quick pin at 11:18.

Rating: C-. The match was decent enough with Jesse working on the back and then they just went to the finish out of nowhere. Jesse’s push is now a big waste but at least they’re giving someone young like Robbie a nice push. Now to be fair I can’t imagine them doing anything with it and there’s probably going to be a rematch, which is actually match #5, but this wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Technically fine, but the story is nothing all that entertaining.

Matt Hardy says he’ll win tonight.

Bram vs. Matt Morgan

Morgan returned as a surprise on Wednesday. Before the match, Matt wants it to be a street fight and Bram is all like “Okey dokey”, but with a British accent. Morgan runs him over to start and they head to the floor to actually make it a fight. Bram comes back with his big metal hook to take over, followed by some trashcan shots to the head. Back in as this match is clearly just more filler.

Morgan calls for a chokeslam but opts to Carbon Footprint a trashcan into Bram’s face. The big man can’t follow up though so Bram goes around the ring to look for a special weapon. He FINALLY picks a few chairs but gets chokeslammed onto one of them for two. That’s it for Morgan though as the Brighter Side of Suffering onto the chair gives Bram the pin at 9:30.

Rating: D+. Well at least they didn’t job Bram. I guess the blueprint part is just physical because this would be REALLY STUPID for Morgan to pick as a stipulation. The match was your standard hardcore brawl as this show continues to feel like a house show that they taped and aired here. Morgan looked fine but I don’t expect him to be back longer than maybe one more appearance at most. Nothing special here, as usual tonight.

Ethan Carter III and Tyrus don’t like JB correcting them. They try to rip his hair off but it’s real. This was basically just a plug for Wednesday’s World Title match.

Austin Aries vs. Davey Richards

The winner gets to pick the stipulation for the fifth match in the Tag Team Title series. Aries takes him down to start but then runs to the corner to hide. They trade some standing switches until Aries bails to the floor to avoid a kick to the head. Back in and Aries plants him with an STO of all things but won’t use the Pendulum Elbow.

A wristlock doesn’t get Aries anywhere as Davey dropkicks him out to the floor for some more stalling. Richards wins a chase and hammers him against the barricade but Austin comes back with a shot of his own, setting up a top rope ax handle to take over. Back in and the slingshot hilo gets two for Austin, followed by a handspring elbow for the same. Some kicks to the chest make Davey growl a bit, allowing him to come back with a kick to the chest and a German suplex.

Aries seems to be looking for a tag, because a guy who has primarily wrestled as a singles guy for years and recently reformed a tag team can’t remember how a one on one match works. Aries takes him to the floor for a big dive and nails a missile dropkick, setting up the Last Chancery.

As usual it doesn’t work (it rarely did when he was a face either) but the brainbuster doesn’t either with Davey countering into a falcon’s arrow for two. They slug it out until Davey throws him into the air for a kick to the chest, followed by the top rope double stomp (to the arm) for two more. Cue Bobby Roode and Eddie Edwards for a distraction, allowing Aries to roll Davey up for the pin at 17:28.

Rating: B. That’s probably going to be the match of the night as we’re definitely in One Night Only territory here. This was a match that didn’t change a thing but at least was entertaining while it lasted. Everyone is trying on this show, but there’s only so much you can do to overcome the power of indifference.

The Dirty Heels pick a 30 minute Iron Man match. In case you hadn’t seen these teams fight enough yet.

Eric Young says he’ll win.

Dollhouse vs. Brooke/Awesome Kong

Before the match the Dollhouse says they’re better looking so they’ll win. Kong is in a full body outfit this time. Taryn chokes Kong to start but all three Dolls are sent into the corner for a big triple splash. They officially start with Jade having no luck against Kong with a Marti having to break up a cover off a splash. Brooke comes in off the hot tag and cleans house before things settle down with Marti taking over.

Back to Jade for a bearhug, which is in no way an excuse to get Brooke’s trunks to ride up. The referee misses a tag to Kong but it goes through a few seconds later, allowing Kong to destroy the Dollhouse (sans Taryn) just like she did before. Brooke clotheslines both of them down as Kong goes after Taryn, leaving Brooke to hit a top rope facebuster (the Butterface Maker. Just go with it) for the pin at 8:23.

Rating: D. No point to the match, basically no Taryn, and just a step above a squash. The Dollhouse is already crumbling but we can get like six years of the Beautiful People. At least it’s not Gail Kim doing her least interesting stuff again, because I don’t think I can handle another major push for her.

Magnus doesn’t hate James Storm even though he wants to. Tonight he has to believe that love is stronger than hate, even if he loves the way hate feels. The devil can’t catch him tonight because he’s already inside. Good line to end this. It makes little sense but good line. Also, you would think that the whole attempted murder thing might have fired Magnus up more.

Long recap of Magnus vs. Storm. Basically Storm was all friendly but was just trying to get Mickie James to join the Revolution but she turned him down so Storm tried to kill her by shoving her in front of a train. Now it’s time for a match.

James Storm vs. Magnus

Unsanctioned so anything goes. They slug it out at ringside to start before heading into the crowd with Magnus taking over. Storm slams him through a table of food and grabs a beer bottle but stops to spit on the announcers, allowing Magnus to come back with right hands. They get back inside with a table being set up but Storm hits him low.

Magnus doesn’t seem to mind as he catapults Storm’s face into the bottom of the table for a unique spot. It’s off to the back of the arena again as a production guy repeatedly tells them that there’s high voltage back there. Magnus is thrown into a box and the video screen goes to a test pattern. That goes nowhere so they head back to the ring with the Eye of the Storm being countered into a powerbomb through the table for two.

Storm comes back with an Orton hanging DDT but stops to set up another table on the floor. Instead of putting Magnus through the table though, Storm yells at Earl Hebner, allowing Magnus to make a comeback. Magnus misses a top rope elbow through the table and crashes onto the concrete. That’s only good for two of course so Storm pulls out some powder.

Magnus comes back for like the tenth time but the powder goes into Earl’s eyes, meaning there’s no count off the Spine Shaker. Instead the Last Call gets two so it’s cowbell time, but Magnus hits another Spine Shaker for two. END THIS ALREADY! Now the cowbell connects and another Last Call gets another two.

Storm sets up two chairs with a piece of barricade bridged between. Magnus superplexes him through the barricade and, say it with me, it gets two. Both guys get bottles and connect at the same time with Storm falling on top for the pin (despite Magnus being on the barricade and therefore his shoulders not being on the mat) at 16:38.

Rating: C+. The match was trying but they went WAY too far and long out there as it was almost a copy of the Rusev vs. Cena match at Payback. Yeah they beat each other up a lot but I lost interest about halfway through. This felt like it was about four matches packed into one, but at least it was a fun brawl. The start was pretty lame though as they were just kind of walking around and trying to figure out what to do.

Drew Galloway says he’ll win, just like the Rising this Wednesday in the final battle with the BDC. Another match that should have aired here.

The audio is screwed up because of the electrical stuff earlier on. Thankfully we’re treated to a long shot of the production crew cleaning up the debris from the previous match and then a shot of the announcers.

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Mr. Anderson/Lashley

There’s no commentary and Anderson’s mic doesn’t work. It starts up again as Anderson and Carter start things off with Ethan being taken into the corner for a beating and a spear. Lashley can’t quite suplex him over the first time but Tyrus gets in a surprise chokeslam to take over. Tyrus comes in for some shots to the neck as Tenay talks about Anderson and Lashley feuding over the ECW and US Titles.

Anderson comes in with jabs as we’re treated to Pope talking about his time in OVW. His feud down there with Matt Morgan is the least interesting feud that I have ever seen so I wouldn’t brag much about it. Commentary keeps cutting out, leaving us to analyze Carter’s chinlock on Anderson with no guidance. Lashley comes in off the hot tag to clean house again with a running powerslam getting two on Carter. Anderson and Lashley slug away on Tyrus but he (mostly) suplexes them both down. Carter runs back in for the 1%er on Lashley for the pin at 10:12.

Rating: D. Standard Impact main event here but this show has already sucked all the life out of me so I couldn’t get into things. Carter winning is the only logical move here to help set up the title match on Wednesday, even though they already had him pin Lashley and Anderson. It’s almost like this match was thrown together with the best logic they could think and it still wasn’t enough.

The announcers preview King of the Mountain. Jarrett is treated as an invader.

Jarrett says he can’t believe he’s back here but wants to take this to a global level.

King of the Mountain Title: Drew Galloway vs. Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode vs. Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Jarrett

It’s the old Legends/TV/Global Title with a new plate. The rules here aren’t exactly simple. You win by climbing the ladder and hanging the title, but in order to do that you have to earn a fall to be qualified with falls counting anywhere. Whoever is pinned must go to a penalty box for two minutes. We get big match intros with JB saying Drew is standing in the corner to his left. He’s kneeling but close enough. Jarrett is introduced by his old nickname: the King of the Mountain.

Jarrett stands back as everyone brawls to start. It’s Roode going after Jarrett first but eating a backdrop, followed by Young taking a beating as well. Jarrett goes for a strut but Roode rolls him up for a pin to become eligible and to send Jarrett to the penalty box for two minutes. Matt Side Effects Roode for two as Jarrett escapes….only to be covered by Young to become eligible. Everyone brawls inside and get sent into the ladder until Jarrett gets out.

Young hits Jarrett low but gets rolled up by Galloway for a pin. Matt hits a Twist of Fate for a pin on Roode at the same time, sending both Young and Roode to the box at the same time. Only Jarrett is unqualified at this point. Hardy and Galloway fight on the ladder (yeah remember the whole ladder part of this match?) but Jeff shoves them both down and Strokes Galloway for two with Hardy making the save.

Jeff covers Matt for two more as Young and Roode are making a pact in the box. Both guys get out and clean house before stopping to sing O Canada as we flash back ten years. Young tries to turn on Roode and gets Cactus Clotheslined out to the floor. Galloway and Hardy go to the ropes but get powerbombed down by Jarrett, only to have Roode and Young steal pins to keep Jarrett ineligible. It’s a three way fight now with Young vs. Roode vs. Jarrett with Eric getting the best of it and grabbing a guitar, only to have Jeff take it away and knock Bobby silly to become eligible.

Galloway and Hardy get out and fight over possession of the belt but knock each other down, leaving Jarrett to climb up. Young pulls him down with a powerbomb and a piledriver onto a ladder, followed by Roode coming out of the box. Galloway climbs on top of the cage for a big flip dive to put all five guys down. It’s Drew climbing again and Matt pulling him down again. Just to keep up the idea of the match of course. Roode stops Hardy and goes up but Young makes the save with another ladder. Jarrett and Young go up with Jeff hitting a Stroke off the ladders, allowing him to hang the title for the win at 20:56.

Rating: D+. So in case you don’t get it, here’s the story: TNA is freaking out that an invader (who they invited) is going to take a title that they just invented to another company which they basically advertise for free on their TV show. Oh and Jarrett is a face because he’s a legend in TNA and therefore the announcers panicking really doesn’t fit with what’s going on. The match was your standard King of the Mountain mess with the most obvious winner in the history of obvious winners.

Overall Rating: D. That’s the worst part: the show wasn’t even that horrible. It’s in one of the worst categories possible though: the show that didn’t need to exist and underwhelmed. There were some good matches on here and the stories were actually current so it blows last year’s Bound For Glory out of the water, but my goodness this show felt like it was going on for days. It’s not a good show and it’s clear that this company is in complete free fall as they seem to have no idea what they’re supposed to do next.

I know the TV is taped for a month or so, but they really, really need to nail them because this show felt like the last time we’re going to see these guys. With a lot of these people leaving too, things are looking very, very bleak for TNA and they don’t really seem to notice. If Jarrett leaving with a freshly made midcard title for a promotion that has held about four shows is their big story, they’re in major, major trouble.

Results

Tigre Uno b. Manik and DJZ – Corkscrew moonsault to Manik

Robbie E. b. Jesse Godderz – Reverse DDT

Bram b. Matt Morgan – Brighter Side of Suffering onto a chair

Austin Aries b. Davey Richards – Rollup

James Storm b. Magnus – Beer bottle to the head

Tyrus/Ethan Carter III b. Lashley/Mr. Anderson – 1%er to Lashley

Jeff Jarrett b. Matt Hardy, Drew Galloway, Eric Young and Bobby Roode – Jarrett hung the title belt

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: June 17, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’ve got two weeks to go before Slammiversary and it’s time to start building towards the main event of the TV show two weeks from tonight. Yeah the Carter vs. Angle World Title match is going to be held on Impact instead of at the pay per view due to some scheduling issues. That is of course TOTALLY different than TNA being a poorly run company who couldn’t figure out that having a pay per view the day after a TV taping was really, really stupid. Let’s get to it.

We open with a tribute to Dusty Rhodes, who used to be the authority figure here back in the early days.

It’s time for Angle and Carter to sign the contract. In an interesting case, this is coming just after a contract signing closed Ring of Honor. Carter gets to talk first by talking about Angle beating Heartbreak Kids, Texas Rattlesnakes, Dead Men, Immortals, Electrifying Men, Rated R Superstars and some people you can’t even see. He’s also beaten submission machines, phenomenal ones, icons and charismatic enigmas (the first person mentioned actually still with this company. And shouldn’t those all be singular since Angle only beat one each?) but the World Title reigns ends with Carter.

Angle praises Carter, but thinks he’s a disrespectful punk. This time around, Kurt is healthy and ready because he’s been here before. Once Carter loses, it’s going to haunt him for the rest of his life. Both guys sign, but they also get to pick an opponent for each other. Angle gets to go first, and he picks Lashley to face Carter. Not a bad choice. Carter gets to pick next week on a live show.

The X-Division Title will be decided next week. Man just scrap Slammiversary and put on a Barney Miller marathon.

We recap the Tag Team Title series to this point, with the Wolves currently up 2-1.

Here are the Wolves with Davey talking about how they’ve fought around the world to be the best tag team in the world, and that’s what those belts mean. They’ve beaten the BroMans, the Hardys and Team 3D already and now it’s time for the Dirty Heels. Last time the Heels cheated to win, but the Wolves won’t get fooled again. Good line but points off for a WOLVES NATION shirt. Stop just putting a word in front of nation and thinking it sounds good.

Edwards wants to do match four right now, so here’s Roode sans Aries. Austin isn’t here tonight because he’s healing up after last week, so there’s no match. Eddie thinks a singles match is in order and Roode doesn’t think so, but he’ll do it if the winner gets to pick the stipulation for next week. The Wolves are fine and it’s time to go.

Bobby Roode vs. Eddie Edwards

Roode hammers away to start but Eddie kicks him outside for a big suicide dive. Back in and a clothesline gets two for Eddie but he runs into an elbow to the jaw. A Hennig necksnap puts Eddie down again as Roode is a heel this week. It’s good to know as it varies so often. Roode’s chinlock doesn’t go anywhere as Edwards comes back with a leg lariat.

The announcers call last week’s Aries vs. Angle match five stars. At least this time they’re waiting until after the match happened to praise it. There’s a backpack Stunner for two on Roode but he comes back with a spinebuster for the same. Roode tries to bring in a chair but Richards gets on the apron for some reason, earning him a swing from Bobby. The distraction lets Eddie get a rollup pin at 8:22.

Rating: C. This brings up the problem with the entire series: the matches are just ok. They’re not bad or anything, but I barely remember them a few minutes after they happened because they’re just coming and going as we wait for the big match to come for the titles to exist again. The ending made no sense either as the Wolves wound up cheating instead of the Dirty Heel. This story hasn’t been great since it started and it’s losing steam every week.

Davey makes match #4 Full Metal Mayhem. So what’s #5 going to be? Another regular match?

Joseph Park is back, minus his law firm, money or teeth. He’ll face Bram tonight and get to be the guy on top for the first time. So we’re just forgetting that he knows he’s Abyss I guess? Does that mean we’re done with the Revolution too?

We get a ten second video of Drew Galloway talking about how much he loves wrestling.

Bram vs. Joseph Park

Park tries to lecture Bram before the match and gets punched in the face. Bram slugs away but misses a chair shot, allowing Park to get in some shots of his own. Now it’s table and kendo stick time as I guess this is a hardcore match. It was never announced as one but sure why not. Park comes back with some kendo stick shots and a chokeslam for two. Back up and Park misses a spear through the table, allowing Bram to get the pin at 3:53.

Rating: F. A guy as talented as Bram is stuck in the hardcore story because there’s nothing else for him to do right now because they’ve killed off the singles titles other than the World Title and now we’re sitting here watching him against Joseph Park. Bad match here and Bram doesn’t even get to hit his finisher to win? Horrible stuff.

Taryn has a deal for Brooke and Awesome Kong: if they beat the Dolls tonight, they both get a title shot. If they lose, neither can ever have a shot again.

The world is ready to burn and playtime is over. No idea what that is for.

Marti Bell/Jade vs. Brooke/Awesome Kong

Brooke gets jumped in the aisle but here’s Kong for the save. The bell rings and Kong runs Jade over before it’s off to Brooke, who doesn’t have the same luck. Brooke fights off some double teaming but gets thrown right back into the corner as the announcers debate their taste in women. Brooke avoids a charge and spears Jade down, allowing for the tag to Kong. A chokeslam plants Marti and Brooke climbs onto her shoulders for a big elbow and the pin at 6:24.

Rating: D. This wasn’t the worst in the world but good grief Josh is getting on my nerves. Between talking about the number of days the champions have held their titles and calling Dinero the heel commentator, he becomes more of a combination of Cole and Striker every week. Nothing match here as the finish was obvious, though the story wasn’t bad.

We recap the hardcore war which ended with Eric Young choking out Chris Melendez with Chris’ prosthetic leg.

Chris Melendez wants to fight Eric Young right now. This brings Young out to praise Melendez for being an American hero, but Young just doesn’t care. He cares about no one but himself because there’s no reason for Melendez to be in the same ring as Eric Young. Does Chris really want to be here all alone next week? Chris says he’s ready. Young was just a jerk here and not crazy, making him FAR more effective as a heel. Melendez is nothing though.

DJZ vs. Jesse Godderz

Godderz laid DJZ out last week so DJZ charges right at him to start and nails a jawbreaker and middle rope back elbow (love that move). Back up and Jesse slams him down by the arm, setting up a Boston crab for the submission at 1:43.

Post match Godderz cuts a really, REALLY good promo about how he was the BroMans because he was the only one training while Robbie was on a reality TV show and DJZ was in some bar making funny noises. He rants about how Robbie was nothing until he joined the team and now DJZ is nothing either. Jesse gorilla presses him up but Robbie makes his big return and shows more fire than ever before. I’m actually digging this.

We look back at James Storm possibly murdering Mickie James a few weeks back.

Here’s a livid Magnus, two weeks after Mickie was attacked. He isn’t letting this show continue until he gets James Storm out here one on one. Here’s Storm to call Magnus the crazy jealous one for having Mickie followed by cameras. “What do you think was happening when those cameras weren’t there?” Magnus is held back by security but Storm brings out a baby stroller, presumably carrying Mickie and Magnus’ son.

James calls it his insurance policy but walks down the aisle without it. He says Mickie is a sorry excuse for a woman and Magnus is a sorry excuse for a man, which is finally enough to get Magnus past security. Storm kicks the baby stroller off the stage and of course it’s just a doll.

Video on Ethan Carter III.

Ethan Carter III vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley throws him down to start and nails a hard clothesline before just running Carter over. Tyrus finally grabs Lashley’s boot to stop his boss’ pain but Lashley easily suplexes Carter over. Another Tyrus distraction lets Carter get in a dropkick off the apron to take over. The match isn’t bad so far but I can’t take much more of Josh talking about the number of days Carter has been undefeated. Carter slows him down with a chinlock for a bit before having to escape a torture rack.

Lashley scores with a powerslam for two but Tyrus puts a chair in the corner. The spear hits the chair (Earl Hebner has zero issue with this) and Carter gets two off a DDT. The 1%er is countered and the referee goes down (like it matters), right before the spear connects. Cue another referee but Tyrus takes him out and gives Lashley a Big Ending, setting up the third referee to count two, earning him a shot from Tyrus. Lashley spears Tyrus but gets speared down, only to get nailed in the back with a chair, setting up the 1%er to give Carter the pin at 9:26.

Rating: D+. This was straight out of the Russo playbook with two chairs, three ref bumps and interference in less than ten minutes. Angle was nowhere in sight to help even the odds because the script didn’t say he was supposed to and the whole thing was just way too much. It didn’t help that Josh was driving me up the wall with his counting the days of Carter being undefeated. We get it: you’re Michael Cole and Carter is Miz. Pick a better role model.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is on the verge of flying off the rails and you can see a lot of it coming from here. The problem right now is they’re building to three different shows instead of any one in particular. You have next week’s live show with Full Metal Mayhem and the X-Division Title match, Slammiversary (which I don’t think has anything official yet) and then the bell to bell show in two weeks with the World Title match. It doesn’t help that a lot of the midcard just feels like a big waste of time when they could be doing anything else. The show wasn’t horrible but they need to focus on something quick.

Results

Eddie Edwards b. Bobby Roode – Rollup

Bram b. Joseph Park – Pin after a missed spear through a table

Brooke/Awesome Kong b. Jade/Marti Bell – Elbow drop to Bell

Jesse Godderz b. DJZ – Boston crab

Ethan Carter III b. Bobby Lashley – 1%er

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: May 22, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

So since Destination America basically threw up a middle finger at TNA on Memorial Day weekend, there was no new episode aired on Friday May 22. However, there was a show airing internationally which has since come online. This is a few weeks old but here it is for the sake of completeness. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Hardys having to vacate the Tag Team Titles due to Jeff breaking his leg in a motocross accident, setting up the best of five series between the Dirty Heels and the Wolves.

D’Angelo Dinero is brought out for commentary. Granted that doesn’t mean much here as the only version I could find was in French.

Mandrews vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno vs. Crazzy Steve vs. Argos vs. Rockstar Spud

Elimination match with no tags because that’s what the X-Division consists of these days. Spud starts fast and cleans house as Steve sits in the corner holding a monkey. Tigre dives over the top to take Manik out before Steve intentionally dives onto no one. He’s crazy you see. Mandrews sends Argos to the apron for a crash onto everyone, leaving Mandrews to hit a great looking shooting star onto the pile.

Back in and Manik pulls Steve out of the way of another Madrews shooting star (which would have missed by three feet anyway), setting up a rollup to get rid of Mandrews. Steve has silly string and clotheslines Manik in the corner, setting up a Cannonball for two. Wait….now there are tags? After that huge mess and insanity they have tags now??? Argos comes in for more clotheslines to Manik, followed by a reverse Shell Shock from Tigre for two. It’s strange to not hear the commentary as there’s far less to make fun of.

Steve comes back in to rip at Tigre’s mask, earning him a kick to the back of the head. Argos runs back in for a gorilla press gutbuster to eliminate Steve. It’s Argos vs. Spud now with Tigre coming in to double team the Rockstar. Tigre goes up top for a kind of top rope seated senton low blow for two and we take a break. Back with Argos hitting a running hurricanrana on Manik as we see Tigre being eliminated during the break to get us down to three.

Spud dropkicks Manik down and hits the Underdog on Argos for an elimination, leaving Spud vs. Manik. They slug it out with Spud getting the better of it with a bunch of punches and some running forearms. The Underdog is broken up and Manik gets two off his tiger suplex into a gutbuster. The same sequence sees Spud counter the gutbuster into a rollup for a near fall, followed by an Underdog from the apron to the ring for the pin at 15:23.

Rating: C. Well, you had six guys, they did moves to each other for fifteen minutes, and one of them didn’t get pinned. That’s what the X-Division has become: meaningless matches with someone coming out on top and no real reason to care about most of them. Other than Spud, these guys are almost interchangeable as far as levels of interest, so why should I care that he beat all of them?

Long recap of the BroMans rise and eventual split. It’s clear that they’re filling a lot of time.

Jesse arrives (sans shirt of course) and says he beat up Robbie because he’s better. Robbie got on a reality TV show after Jesse did so Robbie should be thanking him for his entire career. Robbie can be the Bro, but Jesse will be the Man.

Spud says that’s one step closer to getting the X-Division Title back. The people are with him, not Kenny King.

Jesse Godderz vs. DJZ

Before the match, Jesse says he’s the superstar and the reason they won the Tag Team Titles. He knows he and Zema are supposed to fight, but it would be the same ending that Robbie E. suffered. Jesse isn’t losing to a nobody. A serious DJZ comes out and says he was the X-Division Champion before the BroMans and Jesse was nothing. That’s enough to start the fight with DJZ hitting a quick running hurricanrana to send Jesse outside. A jawbreaker staggers Jesse (you might even say it stuns him) and it’s all DJZ so far.

Jesse comes back with a great dropkick and slaps on an armbar of all things. That goes as far as an armbar is going to go when your name isn’t Alberto and Jesse hot shots him down. DJZ kicks away what appeared to be a Figure Four and hits a Thesz press, only to get stomped back down. A Boston crab of all things makes DJZ give up.

Rating: D+. Jesse is trying and playing a decent heel, but at the end of the day he’s a pretty boy bodybuilder using a Boston crab as his big finisher. That’s not going to get him very far, but this is better than anything else he’s ever done as a singles guy. Robbie E. coming back for a big showdown could be entertaining though.

Magnus says this is about James Storm.

Video on Eric Young vs. Kurt Angle with Young being…….oh you know it by now.

Video on James Storm manipulating Mickie James for reasons that aren’t clear yet aside from he’s evil. Mickie’s fiance Magnus isn’t cool with this. He’ll be a lot less cool with it when he shoves her onto train tracks.

Magnus comes out for a match but says he has to deal with James Storm messing with his family, plus Storm’s Revolution. A few weeks back, Khoya hit him with a big piece of wood. Maybe that’s overcompensating for a smaller piece of wood?

Magnus vs. Khoya

Magnus stomps him down to start and they head outside with Khoya being sent into the barricade. A suplex gets some two counts and for no apparent reason, Magnus puts the referee on top of Khoya and counts two more. Well of course he does. We take a break and come back with Magnus throwing him outside again as we wait for the screw up so Khoya can take over and Magnus can make the comeback.

Magnus swings Khoya’s stick but hits the post and hurts his hands, allowing Khoya to take over. Ah there it is. Khoya stomps away in the corner and clotheslines Magnus down for no cover. A corner splash misses though and Magnus starts his comeback with clotheslines followed by the top rope elbow. A pair of Spine Shakers end Khoya at 9:39.

Rating: D+. Just an extended squash here which is how you should build towards a match like Storm vs. Magnus. It wasn’t anything interesting and Magnus still isn’t worth watching in the ring, but at least he got a win here to give him some momentum before the Slammiversary match.

Bram says he’s crazy and dangerous and he has no remorse. He’s violent you see and he’s coming for Bobby Roode.

Recap of the Tag Team Title best of five series.

Dollhouse video, focusing on their war with Gail Kim and Awesome Kong. The camera slowly zooming in on Taryn’s face as Kong’s music played was a great touch.

Rebel vs. Marti Belle

Before the match, Marti says it can still be playtime even though Taryn isn’t here. Rebel is offered a chance to leave but she won’t say anything. Finally she calls the Dollhouse the Skank House and slaps Jade in the face to get things going. Marti is knocked into Jade’s arms but a baseball slide puts them both down. Jade gets in some cheap shots as Marti gets a chair because the referee is dumb enough to fall for this.

They finally get inside with Marti in control and clotheslining Rebel down to break up a comeback. Rebel scores with a slam and a headscissors, but instead of turning Marti over she pulls her into the back of the trunks for a “comedy” bit. Another Jade distraction lets Marti hit a double arm neckbreaker for the pin at 3:16.

Rating: D. Nothing special here but it’s nice to see that Marti can work a match to go along with her stable mates. It’s a boring match though, partially due to Rebel being little more than a model who they trained to take some bumps. Dull stuff here as you can see the big divide between the top and bottom tiers of Knockouts.

Kenny King isn’t worried about Rockstar Spud and the X-Division Title.

X-Division Title: Mica vs. Kenny King

Oh so King is champion here. I didn’t actually know coming into this. King bails to start but Mica catches him with some right hands to knock the champ outside. Back in and an armbar slows Mica down but he comes back with a slam for two. Not exactly inspiring stuff so far. Mica’s ram into the buckle is countered with King snapping his throat across the ropes before firing some right hands into the face. A spinning kick to the face gets two on Mica but he comes back with a Samoan drop for two more. That’s it for him though as the Royal Flush retains King’s title at 6:40.

Rating: D+. I just do not care about this feud whether there’s a title involved or not. King is fine as the X-Division Champion but Mica and Drake are so dull and uninteresting that there’s almost no way to care about any of them. The fact that the match was dull made it even worse.

Bobby Roode was the World Champion at wrestling but he’s capable of fighting against someone like Bram.

Campaign ad for Ethan Carter III for World Champion. Him winning the title will bring down unemployment and help with the millennial problem. Unfortunately this is used to set up Carter vs. Anderson’s boring match.

Bobby Roode vs. Bram

Roode is the clear face here despite being half of the Dirty Heels tag team because TNA doesn’t think these things through. Bobby cranks on the arm to start but Bram keeps going to the ropes. After a breather on the floor, Bobby knocks him right back to the floor as they’re in first gear so far. Back from a break with the Blockbuster getting two on Bram but he rolls outside and posts Bobby to take over.

More brawling offense from Bram on the floor but Roode slugs away back inside. That earns him a hard whip into the buckle for two and a charge into a boot, only to have Bram charge into a spinebuster. There’s the Roode Bomb but Bram rolls to the floor instead of getting covered, landing in front of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bag. Roode posts him but has to avoid the referee back inside, earning him a low blow and a handful of trunks to give Bram the pin at 14:05.

Rating: C. Totally average main event here with Roode dominating most of the match and then losing to a fluke at the end. That being said, I like the idea of having Bram get a main event win, even if the next few weeks have shown us that this changed nothing and was really just a match.

Overall Rating: D+. Oh yeah they knew no one was going to watch this show. It was basically a few steps ahead of a One Night Only show, which means you could miss the show and not lose a bit of anything. Nothing show here with a few watchable matches sprinkled throughout. In other words: standard Impact.

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