TNA One Night Only – X-Travaganza III: What Do You Want Me To Say?

X-Travaganza III
Date: May 6, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

I guess this is considered the beginning of a new season of these shows as the first X-Travaganza was the first ever One Night Only. Barring a big surprise, this is going to be a series of qualifying matches for an Ultimate X match for money later on in the night. These shows really are good illustrations of how far the division has fallen in recent years. Let’s get to it.

We open with the standard speech about how important this division is to TNA’s history. Notice that as the division has fallen into obscurity, the company’s success has gone down as well. Of course there’s a lot more to it than that, but once TNA stopped having something to focus on other than the main event division, things kept going south. As usual, this also shows us clips from later in the night.

All matches are qualifying matches for the Ultimate X main event with $100,000 on the line unless noted otherwise.

Tigre Uno vs. Sonjay Dutt

Feeling out process to start with Sonjay taking him down with a quick armdrag before having to spin out of a wristlock. Some fast near falls get us nowhere but both guys collide to put them on the mat. Back up and Sonjay takes over with some chops and a running knee in the corner before stopping Tigre with a boot. Tigre comes back in with a dropkick for two as the announcers start talking about Twitter handles. I really hope this isn’t a descent into the usual commentary madness on these shows.

Sonjay comes back with something like an Octopus Hold and a kick to the head for two. This turns into a discussion of favorite submission holds, which is at least related to what we’re watching. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Tigre fights back, only to miss a split legged moonsault. Dutt’s standing moonsault gets two as the fans are really not all that interested here. Borash finally gets around to explaining the idea of the qualifying matches for Ultimate X later in the show. Tigre crotches himself on an attempted basement dropkick in the corner but comes right back with a rolling cradle for the fast pin (and maybe a four count).

Rating: C-. We’re already seeing the issue with this show: there’s no reason for these two to be fighting and that makes for a dull match as neither of these two did anything exciting enough to warrant having nine minutes. It’s not a bad match or anything but it’s just two guys doing moves to each other until one got a pin off a cradle.

Kenny King talks about surprising everyone by showing up in TNA and brags about all of his success. No matter what he did though, he never could get noticed until he joined up with the BDC. Tonight, we’re calling this X-Travaganza Step Up, because he wants someone to step up to become the next Kenny King. Be careful though because he’s going to knock them right back down.

Kenny King vs. Jay Rios vs. Pepper Parks

Parks wrestles all over the indies and seems to have a fitness gimmick. Rios is a lower level indy guy but he was recently on Impact as Tigre Uno’s partner in the Tag Team Title tournament against Bram/Ethan Carter III. Josh asks the returning JB how he can get around the arena to announce everything so fast. Parks kicks Rios in the head to start and stomps him down as King stands back.

The fans chant for the BDC (the only people they might know in this match) as King backdrops Parks to the floor. Rios kicks both of them through the ropes and hits an Asai moonsault to drop both opponents. Back in and Parks gets two off a sitout powerbomb as King is still on the floor. Rios sidesteps Parks’ spear to send him into King before hitting the springboard into an RKO on Parks for two.

Pepper doesn’t seem to mind as a double superkick puts King down, only to have Rios hit running boots in the corner to both opponents. King suddenly realizes he’s Kenny King and starts cleaning house but Rios shoves him off the top and hits a frog splash for two on Parks. Back up and Rios goes to the apron, only to springboard into the Royal Flush to give King the pin.

Rating: C. Better but it’s the exact same problem from the first match: I have no real reason to see these guys fight and they’re not doing anything worth seeing. In other words, these matches aren’t very interesting and make me want to go watch some old TNA matches instead of these.

Here’s a clip from Destination X 2013 where Manik won the X-Division Title in Ultimate X.

Manik vs. Mr. 450

450 is yet another indy guy who has been squashed in NXT a few times under the name Jesus de Leon. For some reason he comes out (after Manik) with a weird eyepiece that looks like something out of Star Trek (for your KB trivia: I’ve never seen a single movie or episode of Star Trek) and may supposed to be something from the future.

Wherever he’s from (yes I know it’s Puerto Rico), he grabs an armbar to start as the announcers talk about Google Glasses. They spin around a few times until 450 gets two off a springboard cross body. Manik sends him hard into the post though and things slow back down. Off to the floor now with Manik sending him into the post again as Josh laments the loss of Bernie Mac. He was in a movie called Mr. 3000 (Josh calls it Mr. 300) so it’s connected you see.

Manik grabs a cross armbreaker (at least he’s following up on the shoulder into the post, putting this match ahead of everything else on the show so far) before rolling some suplexes, capped off by a belly to back hammerlock suplex. We hit the chinlock with the arm trapped back for a bit to keep up the psychology.

450 comes back with another springboard cross body but Manik catches himself in the ropes instead of going out to the floor. He goes right outside a few seconds later though, setting up 450’s Asai moonsault. Josh clarifies that Pepper and Joseph Parks are not related before Manik hurricanranas 450 into the armbreaker for the submission.

Rating: C+. Best match of the night so far with the arm work actually playing through the match instead of just introducing it and then forgetting it just as fast. Again it’s not a great match or anything like that, but at least it was a good way to kill seven minutes. Manik is an underrated talent in the company and unfortunately he’s stuck in the lame Revolution for the time being.

Video on the Knockouts defying the limits just as well as the men do.

Taryn Terrell is in the five Knockouts ladder match later tonight and she can prove that she’s more than just a pretty face.

Great Sanada vs. Jonathan Cruz vs. Crazzy Steve

Cruz is Rios’ partner in the indies. Steve pulls out a horn as Matthews thinks Cruz is Mr. 450. Ignore the fact that neither wears a mask so this shouldn’t be too complicated. Steve goes out to the apron and waits for a tag because we’re in a comedy match. Sanada cranks on Cruz’s arm to start and they hit a nice spin out sequence for one of the few good reactions from the crowd all night long. Steve comes in with a crucifix and sunset flip for two each on Sanada before Sanada pulls on Cruz’s face.

Now the announcers talk about the places Sanada has wrestled, including the hibachi place and Nakatomi Towers. Off to an abdominal stretch on Cruz until Steve makes the save. The serious guys finally get tired of the comedy and pound Steve down like anyone sensible would do. Steve comes back with cannonballs in the corner, only to have Sanada mist Cruz in the face. A moonsault gets two with Steve making the save, setting up a DDT on Cruz to send Steve to Ultimate X.

Rating: D. The announcers have gone from amusing to Tazz land as they spent the whole match making as many Japan jokes as they could squeeze into a short match. Steve is a generic “comedy” guy who gets annoying in a hurry with neither opponent being able to do much. Sanada really should have gone forward here as he’s more than earned the spot in the last year, especially on these shows.

Rockstar Spud says he’s a great wrestler, even when he was just getting coffee for Dixie Carter. Tonight he can show why he’s a great X-Division wrestler when he wins his first Ultimate X match.

And now, since they can’t even get to 2:45 on their own, here’s the X-Division Title match from Slammiversary 2014.

X-Division Title: Sanada vs. Tigre Uno vs. Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Crazy Steve vs. Manik

Sanada is defending and this is a ladder match. Also keep in mind that Destination X and Option C are coming up soon. Manik dives through the ropes to take out Sanada before the bell. The Wolves follow suit with stereo suicide dives and Steve has apparently knocked Tigre Uno down. Steve gets a ladder from under the ring and uses it to climb back to the apron. Tigre dropkicks him down and mostly misses a corkscrew dive to take everyone out.

Sanada and Manik fight over a ladder in the ring with the champion taking over via a springboard chop to the head. Tigre replaces Manik and kicks Sanada in the back of the head but the Wolves double team him into a German suplex onto the ladder in the corner. Edwards throws in a fresh ladder but Manik dropkicks both of them down. Steve (very popular tonight) comes in for the Terry Funk spinning ladder spot, taking down everyone that comes into the ring.

Manik makes a save but Steve shoves the ladder over, only to have Manik land on the top rope and dive out to knock out the Wolves. Steve goes up again and touches the belt but of course loses his hand eye coordination since this is a ladder match, allowing Sanada to make the save. The ladder is busted so Sanada slams Steve onto it to set up the moonsault. The fans think this is awesome as Tigre enziguris Sanada off a better ladder.

Tigre wedges the broken ladder into the standing one to form a bridge, but the Wolves catch him in a powerbomb/top rope Backstabber combo. The Wolves both go after the belt but Sanada makes the save. Edwards Sanada clothesline each other to the floor and Eddie crashes into the barricade, leaving Davey on top. Manik makes the save and powerbombs Davey onto the bridged ladder in a SCARY landing. Sanada climbs up to retain at 9:40 before someone dies.

Rating: B-. The match was fun but some of those spots looked too dangerous for my taste. Richards getting powerbombed was way too scary looking and I didn’t like how he landed. Hopefully everyone is fine, but I question having people go through a match like this without even giving the match hype on TV.

Rockstar Spud vs. Dalton Castle

Castle is basically a man in a peacock costume during his entrance with and some good looking valets to disrobe him. Naturally the announcers aren’t going to explain who Castle is because they’re too busy with their “witty banter.” Castle puts his hands on his back and sticks his chest out so Spud imitates the look (one fan: “Spud’s was better!”). The pose off continues as the announcers debate this year’s Best Picture winner. They start shoving each other out of the way to pose before Spud gets one off a rollup over a minute in.

This sends Spud to the floor to call Castle a chicken. Time for a chase scene with Dalton getting taken down with a drop toehold. Matthews talks about being chased by a chicken as a kid as Spud knocks Dalton outside. Josh: “There was no choking of the chicken.” Castle throws him down to the mat and struts a bit before covering for two. Josh: “New game! Every time you say Castle’s full name, you have to give him a new middle name.” Spud screams at a slap and hits some running forearms, followed by the Underdog for the pin.

Rating: D+. I love Spud but there was only so much you can do here when the announcers are making up games to get themselves through the show. Castle needs a straight man or partner in general to play off as he doesn’t have the wrestling acumen to back him up out there. This was barely even a match after all the posing.

Matt Hardy is ready for his dream match against Austin Aries tonight. Who has been dreaming of that match? Matt talks about his career evolving all the time and now he’s going to give A Double a double dose of Mattitude.

Mikaze vs. DJZ

Mikaze had a pot of coffee back in ROH back in 2005-2006 and was squashed by Ryback one night. DJZ bails from the threat of a kick to the head and does a Karate Kid pose. Back up and Mikaze chases him out to the floor, only to have DJZ snap the back of his neck across the ropes. That’s with with Mikaze who skins the cat out to the floor and into a hurricanrana for a nice counter.

Back in and DJZ stomps him in the corner as we hear about Mikaze designing wrestling gear. Mikaze misses a springboard clothesline and a lot of choking ensues. The announcers count ropes (seriously) and laugh at the idea of Mike Tenay dying. Mikaze sends him to the floor and gets a running start before changing directions into a moonsault. That was awesome. Back in and Mikaze hits a springboard forearm (fans: “AJ STYLES!”) and Trouble in Paradise, only to get caught in a bottom rope tornado DDT to send DJZ to the Ultimate X.

Rating: C. Mikaze looked cool but the idea of sending anyone but those already on the roster to the main event is a pipe dream. DJZ is trying but he’s another example of someone who needs a partner to help him get through most of his matches. He’s mainly a comedy guy and that doesn’t translate well when he’s trying to have a regular match like this one.

Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim vs. Angelina Love vs. Brooke vs. Taryn Terrell

Ladder match for a future Knockouts Title match. I love that they can’t say who the champion is at the moment as they have no idea who it will be when this airs. Everyone goes for the ladder to start but they just wind up knocking the thing over for a big crash. Madison suplexes Taryn on the floor (Josh: “That was violent!”) and the announcers take shots at the Divas.

We get the first ladder brought in with Gail trying to get it straightened on the top rope for no apparent reason as everyone fights in the background. Angelina gets dropped face first onto the ladder but Gail and Brooke start fighting over who gets to use the ladder. Taryn is sent face first into the ladder in the corner as Angelina sets up another between the barricade and the apron.

Everyone gets knocked down in the corner until Gail is dropkicked off the apron and onto the bridged ladder. We finally get a ladder set up in the middle of the ring but Brooke shoves it over, sending Angelina and Madison crashing down. Gail pulls Taryn down but both quickly climb up, only to have Brooke pull Gail through the rungs. Gail is dangling but stops Brooke from pulling the contract down. Not that it matters as the contract falls, allowing Taryn to dive onto it for the win.

Rating: D+. I’ve never been a fan of these short gimmick matches. What’s the point in even bringing the ladders in if they’re going to be done in less than seven minutes with five girls in there? You can barely get anything going and there’s almost no drama, though Taryn winning is always a good thing.

The Wolves are ready to face each other and they’re both coming at it hard. It’s all cool though.

Package on the Wolves.

Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards

This is just a dream match instead of a qualifying match. They’re in different tights tonight to make this feel a bit different. Feeling out process to start and both guys give a clean break in the corner. They point at the crowd and lock up against the ropes as this is totally even so far. Davey can’t spin out of a wristlock but they both spin out of a hammerlock into a standoff. Now Josh talks about grilled cheese and his ability to map minds.

More technical stuff leads to a headscissors from Davey and they trade something like the surfboard’s drunk cousins. The third standoff sets up Davey nailing a dropkick and putting on an Indian deathlock, complete with a Rude hip swivel. Edwards does the same (the swivel I mean) with the surfboard knee stomp as Josh is STILL going on about the mind map stuff. Davey is sent to the floor and both guys avoid dives, setting up Eddie’s moonsault off the apron to break his heel and put him on the shelf for three months. Back in and Davey hits a pair of Creeping Deaths (Eddie: “DO IT! DO IT!”) for the pin.

Rating: C. This is a hard one to grade as it was just starting to get going when the injury took place. They didn’t want to go after each other here but they were getting into the spirit of competition right before the ending. Good enough match though and the Wolves continue to be awesome on this show.

Austin Aries says he and Matt Hardy are good in any division. He has to talk over a match ending and it’s really distracting. Isn’t there like an office or locker room deep inside the building that they could do these in instead?

Clip of Aries beating Roode in the first Option C cash-in.

Austin Aries vs. Matt Hardy

Again, the winner doesn’t go to Ultimate X. They fight into the corner to start as the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here. Matt scores a quick takedown and poses before doing it again and shouting 2-0. Aries takes him down twice in a row, lays on the ropes and says we’re tied. They hit the mat with a headlock into a headscissors counter and it’s already a standoff. Another mat sequence ends with Aries hitting a basement dropkick and a slingshot hilo for two.

The announcers ignore the match again but at least they talk about the main event. Well to be fair they make a bet on the main event but close enough. Aries dropkicks Matt out to the floor but his suicide dive hits a forearm. Matt fights back with a middle rope elbow to the back of the head but the Side Effect is blocked with an elbow to the head. The double underhook guillotine has Aries in trouble but he escapes and puts on the Last Chancery.

They fight over a suplex on the apron (of course the Last Chancery didn’t work. It hasn’t in years) and Matt is shoved to the floor for the suicide dive. Aries dives into a kick into the ribs though and eats a Twist of Fate on the floor. Austin barely beats the count back in and quickly drops Hardy, only to miss the 450. Matt misses the moonsault though and they slug it out from their knees. The Side Effect gets two for Matt but Aries pops up with a pair of discus forearms, the running corner dropkick and the brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: B. Match of the night here by about a million miles but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. This sounded like something that should be headlining an indy show and there’s nothing wrong with it being the second biggest main event on a nothing show like this. To be fair, a big indy show probably has a better card than a lot of One Night Only shows.

Video on Ultimate X.

Kenny King vs. Tigre Uno vs. Rockstar Spud vs. DJZ vs. Crazzy Steve vs. Manik

Ultimate X for $100,000. Yeah not a title shot or anything, but money. It’s a big brawl to start with Manik making the first failed attempt at the X. A limping Spud is down on the floor as Steve bites DJZ’s head and hits him with a Cannonball in the corner. Tigre stops King from getting the X but gets pulled down by Manik. King superplexes Steve down and hammers away before everyone is down for a bit.

Spud pulls DJZ down and other combinations do the same thing as this is already starting to drag. We hit the parade of dives with Spud going last. It’s clear that they’re just killing time at this point, likely due to the Wolves match going short. They get back in (including Steve, who Josh keeps calling Steve of Crazy) for a Tower of Doom and the fans are barely reacting. King shoves DJZ through part of the structure before pulling Spud off the cables.

Tigre hits a Phoenix Splash to the floor onto DJZ for no apparent reason. King and Manik screw up an alliance and END THIS ALREADY! King is the only one left standing so he pulls out a ladder. Spud makes his comeback and hammers away on King but Kenny hits him with the ladder. The slowest climb of all time allows Spud to make the save and….have to deal with Manik who springboards onto the ladder. Thankfully it quickly falls over and Spud hangs on, pulling down the X to win.

Rating: D+. WAY too long here with nearly 18 minutes to this thing. The guys were trying hard but this shouldn’t be more than about ten minutes at most. The lack of drama really hurt it too as the only two possible winners were King and Spud, and there was barely a single dramatic attempt at the X. Just too long here and it really dragged things down.

Overall Rating: D. Oh yeah this was dull. It went on too long (which says a lot as this wasn’t even 2:45 long and it had about 15 minutes added with the Slammiversary match) and nothing here was worth seeing. In other words, it’s basically the exact same thing that has plagued every One Night Only show, including the dreadful commentary. Matthews and Borash clearly didn’t care and they knew they wouldn’t get in trouble for it because no one watches these shows. Bad show, but the guys were indeed trying.

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Impact Wrestling – November 19, 2014: Last One Out, Lock Dreamer In

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 12, 2014
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

And so, it ends. Well at least on SpikeTV. Tonight is the last episode of Impact Wrestling on the major network before it takes two months off and returns on a network in about 40 million less homes. To be fair though, it’s better than no network at all…..in theory. Tonight is about setting up Roode vs. Lashley III so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Roode taking the title from Lashley a few weeks ago, followed by Lashley being driven insane by not being champion.

Here’s Roode to get us going. He talks about having a few real friends in wrestling and two of them are Eric Young and Austin Aries. Now Lashley is going around trying to put those two out of wrestling. If Lashley wants a shot at the title, he can certainly have one, but not tonight. Tonight isn’t about the World Title or professional wrestling. Instead it’s about fighting with no referee and no rules. Roode calls Lashley out right now and the fight is on in the aisle. They fight into the stands and Lashley misses a big chair shot. Security breaks them up after only a few seconds though.

Ethan Carter says he’s giving Spud a chance to prove that he’s a man tonight.

The next show on SpikeTV is in two weeks on December 3 for a best of the year show.

Video on Havok’s dominance, which has spanned about five matches. Taryn and Gail are ready to slay the best.

Knockouts Title: Havok vs. Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

Havok is defend and this is one fall to a finish. The challengers go right at Havok but get dropped with a double clothesline. Havok throws Gail onto Taryn and then sends her shoulder first into the post. A spinebuster plants Taryn but Gail tries AJ Lee’s Black Widow on the champ. Havok is in trouble and Taryn adds an Indian Deathlock for good measure. Somehow Havok powers out of it and they all fight to the floor with Havok catching Terrell, only to have Gail dive on both of them as we take a break.

Back with Havok still on the floor and Taryn rolling Gail up for two. A running flip neckbreaker puts Gail down again but Havok pulls Taryn from the ring and drops her throat first across the barricade. Gail heads outside also but gets spinebustered onto the floor. Back in and Havok splashes both girls for two but Gail is up first and drapes Havok across the top rope.

A kind of Fameasser from the top puts Havok on the floor but Taryn jumps Gail from behind. Terrell takes her to the top but Havok comes back in to make it a Tower of Doom. The champ stacks them up again but misses a middle rope splash. Taryn and Gail break out of a double chokeslam attempt and hammer away until Gail scores with a DDT. A cross body gets two each before Eat Defeat and an RKO get two for Terrell. Gail rolls up Taryn but gets caught in a sunset flip to give Terrell the title at 14:32.

Rating: B-. This was the best Knockouts match in awhile but it doesn’t mean what TNA wants it to be. First of all, as mentioned, Havok has won something like five matches in TNA over the course of six weeks with one of those being a battle royal. That’s hardly taking the title off Roode after seven months. Also, Terrell pinned Gail, which likely sets up a showdown later. It’s a good match but nowhere near the moment they were hoping for.

MVP rants at Kenny King about being called a manager. King sounds pleased.

Recap of Joe vacating the X-Division Title last week. There’s a fourway for the title later tonight.

Recap of the opening brawl.

Roode isn’t going to let his friends get taken out or be intimidated by Lashley. Now the champion is challenging Lashley to a fight. Didn’t he do that already?

Kenny King vs. Chris Melendez

Melendez shoves him into the corner to start and King mocks the mechanical leg. Chris finally hammers away but walks into an elbow in the corner. A hiptoss sends Kenny to the floor but he jumps up and kicks Chris in the face. Melendez gets snapped down across the top rope but Chris comes back up with a mechanical kick to the chest. A fisherman’s suplex gets two for Chris and he kicks King in the face, only to have MVP come in with a chair for the DQ at 5:05.

Rating: D. I probably should but I just do not care about Chris Melendez. It’s amazing how he’s come this far, but after you get over the shock of seeing someone being able to do this, he’s just a green wrestler that can’t do much in the ring yet. The match was nothing special and just there to set up stuff (likely a tag match) for the future.

MVP goes after Chris’ good leg until Mr. Anderson makes the save.

Spud agrees to meet EC3 tonight.

Melendez is sent to the hospital but Anderson wants revenge. Kurt Angle says he’ll deal with it.

Here are EC3 and Tyrus to address Spud. Carter likes the idea of Spud trying to come across the pond and make himself big. Along the way Spud has picked up some friends like Eric Young, who is now in the hospital and Jeremy Borash, who Carter slapped so hard that the entire Borash family died. Well tonight, Spud can fight Carter for one night only. Cue Spud in a suit that looks like a brick wall (seriously) and Carter even has Tyrus go to the floor.

Spud gets right in his face and Ethan offers a free shot but Spud can’t do it. Instead he kicks Carter low and then hits him in the face as the brawl is on. Carter gets the better of it and takes Spud down as the fans tell him that he can’t wrestle. Spud pulls himself up but Carter lets him go from the 1%er. Spud pulls himself up again but Tyrus comes in for the Tongan Death Grip into a clothesline. Now Ethan (busted open a bit) gets a mic and threatens to rip Spud apart until he decides to stop. First up, Ethan cuts off some of Spud’s hair and holds it up like a trophy. Nice segment here.

Angle yells at King but gets jumped and beaten down by MVP. Even King thinks that was too far.

Bram vs. Tommy Dreamer

Hardcore of course. They start in the aisle as Dreamer looks older than ever. Bram slams him down on the ramp and nails Tommy with a trashcan. Dreamer is already busted open so Bram fires off more right hands, only to get sent into the post. Tommy hits Bram with the old WWE spinner US Title for a bizarre moment. We take a break and come back with Bram sending Tommy face first into the steps.

Back in and we hit a chinlock before Dreamer gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charge. Some kendo stick shots and Russian legsweep gets two for Tommy and he crotched Bram on an opened chair. A clothesline knocks Bram out of the chair for two and Tommy ties him in the Tree of Woe. Dreamer shouts T-N-A and hits a basement dropkick into a trashcan but Bram counters the DDT with a legsweep.

The top rope elbow with the chair is blocked with a raised boot and Dreamer’s DDT gets two more. Now it’s a barbed wire chair but Magnus runs in with a Rock Bottom to plant Dreamer. The Brits load up something else but Al Snow of all people runs in for the save. Dreamer gets up and grabs the cheese grater as Snow punches Magnus up the ramp. Bram’s cut is grated open even worse but he comes back with a low blow and sends Tommy face first into the barbed wire chair in the corner. An inverted DDT pins Dreamer at 14:54.

Rating: F. It got fifteen minutes, Bram needed help to beat Tommy Dreamer, Al freaking Snow ran in (wearing wrestling gear for some reason) and Tommy Dreamer is STILL ON MY TV IN 2014. I would love to know what Dreamer has on the management of this and all those other wrestling companies he works for because it must be gold.

Angle is going to deal with MVP once and for all.

Sheera asked Manik what he needs to do to get Storm to like him. Manik tells him to awaken.

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Low Ki vs. Tigre Uno vs. Manik

The title is vacant coming in and this is one fall to a finish. Tigre and Manik fight to the floor, leaving Low Ki to kick DJZ across the ring but Manik comes back in to jump Ki. DJZ dropkicks both of them down as Tigre comes back in to speed things up. A quick dropkick gets two for Uno but Manik suplexes him down and puts on a surfboard. As he has Tigre in the air, DJZ covered Manik, only to have Low Ki hit a Warrior’s Way onto Tigre, crushing everyone else at the same time for a scary looking landing.

Manik charges into Low Ki’s kick to the face but DJZ elbows Ki in the face. Tigre sends Manik to the floor and hits a huge twisting springboard moonsault to take everyone down. Back in and Low Ki gets Tigre in the Tree of Woe but Manik breaks up a top rope double stomp. DJZ hits a tornado DDT on Ki but Manik dives onto DJZ for the save. Manik covers, looks DIRECTLY AT TIGRE, and stays there while Tigre dives on him. Come on man. Tigre and Ki go up top and a Ki Crusher off the top gives Ki the title at 5:58.

Rating: C+. Of all the multiman cruiserweight spot fests that I’ve seen, this one is the most recent. That’s really all there is to it. They did some spots, there was no flow to the match, they did a lot of stupid stuff that got on my nerves and one guy hit a big move for the win. That’s every almost cruiserweight match in this company for months now and this was just another on the list.

MVP calls someone and leaves a voicemail about burning the place down.

Here’s Angle to call out MVP. He talks about watching MVP cheat his way to the top when he was in charge but here’s MVP to cut him off. MVP is sick of being here but mocks Angle for running to the Board of Directors when something goes wrong. Angle isn’t going to fire him and the fight is on. Kenny King comes out to help but MVP shoves him away and keeps stomping before hitting the Blackout Kick (Drive-By) to send Angle outside. Anderson comes out to get King but Lashley takes him down. This brings out Roode to take out King and brawl with Lashley to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show had some decent wrestling but it felt like any other show for TNA. At the end of the day though, you can see one of the things that has held them back for years right there front and center: an old, past his prime guy living on nostalgia got the longest match of the night, including longer than two matches with new champions crowned.

Maybe the time off will do TNA good, but they need to stop doing stupid stuff like having Tommy Dreamer around to score nostalgia points from a tiny number of people they might bring in. They have a big roster but can’t fit them in because of stuff like that. That’s a badly run business and it’s killed them for years. I’m hoping it gets better on the new network, but 12 years have taught me not to get my hopes up for TNA.

Results

Taryn Terrell b. Gail Kim and Havok – Sunset flip to Kim

Chris Melendez b. Kenny King via DQ when MVP interfered

Bram b. Tommy Dreamer – Inverted DDT

Low Ki b. Tigre Uno, DJZ and Manik – Top rope Ki Crusher to Tigre Uno

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Impact Wrestling – May 15, 2014: Again. They’re Doing It AGAIN.

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 15, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Another week has passed and the main story is, say it with me, a heel authority figure corrupted by power. Last week MVP turned heel and announced himself as the #1 contender to the World Title. Other than that we’ve got Bully Ray heading to Texas to go after Dixie Carter. Why he would wait a week to do so is beyond me but maybe they’ll show us footage from the previous week. Let’s get to it.

Eric Young is waiting for MVP to arrive but security pulls him away from the boss’ limo.

Video on MVP turning on Young last week.

Here’s Young (minus the belt) in the arena to open things up. Eric rants about how he thought MVP was something different that’s why he fought so hard for him. Anything would have been better than Dixie Carter but this isn’t good at all. Eric says if MVP wants a fight he can come out here right now. MVP pops up on screen and says he did this for the money and the power. He’s going to do Eric a favor though: Young can keep the title until Slammiversary when MVP takes it away.

Dixie is in Nashville driving around with Spud. They go to her house and see a bunch of tables spray painted with Dixie Fears Bully.

Recap of Bram trying to make Magnus into his old self by sending him after Willow.

Willow is ready for revenge but wants it in his realm.

Bram/Magnus vs. Willow

They start in the dark rafters but are down on the floor in about ten seconds. Tagging is required here and it’s Bram whipping Willow into the corner to start. Bram hammers Willow in the corner and brings in Magnus for some stomping of his own. Back to Bram but he gets reversed into the corner for forearms and the slingshot dropkick. Willow decks Magnus off the apron but can’t hit the Twist. Magnus trips Willow up, allowing Bram to suplex him down. Back to Magnus with Bram sliding in a metal object. Magnus won’t go insane like Bram wants though, allowing Willow to small package Magnus for the pin at 4:22.

Rating: D+. This was more storytelling than a match and there’s nothing wrong with that. Bram wanting Magnus to be all violent and evil again is a good idea for Magnus as his time on the top just didn’t work for the most part. He’s boring as a proper Englishman and all that jazz, so have him be evil instead and get something interesting going instead. Bram looked good.

Young trashes MVP’s office.

Bully Ray calls Dixie and tells her and Spud to come inside.

Gail Kim comes to the ring and says she’s not here to wear an evening gown or to get a makeover. She calls out the Beautiful People and gets what she wants. Angelina says the Beautiful People are what everyone should aspire to be. Velvet jumps Gail from behind and it’s time for a match.

Velvet Sky vs. Gail Kim

Gail is in trouble to start but jumps over Velvet in the corner to get a breather. She hits the running cross body in the corner but misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Angelina gets in a few shots and throws Gail back inside for a DDT and two. Gail comes back with Eat Defeat out of nowhere for the pin at 3:43.

Rating: D. It’s the same story with the same ideas and the same people we’ve seen doing this FOREVER now and I don’t care anymore. I’m assuming Gail gets a title shot at Slammiversary, but who cares if she wins? What difference does it make as they’ve all been champion like a million times anyway. Match was nothing.

Gail gets laid out post match.

Ethan Carter brags about injuring Kurt Angle last week and says this is his world now.

Crazy Steve vs. Kazarian

Steve is the Menagerie’s clown. Kaz sends him to the floor to start as we have carnival music and weird lighting. Kaz trips over Steve on the floor as the Freak stares him down. Steve low bridges Kaz to the floor as we’re in full on comedy match mode. The balloons are brought in and Steve breaks them with a top rope splash. Now he’s running around with a horn as Freak poses on the apron. Rebel is in the ring as well, hanging upside down on the ropes. The referee gets pantsed and it’s thrown out at 2:34 with Kaz winning by DQ.

The Menagerie doesn’t seem to mind losing.

Aries tries to get into MVP’s office but security stops him. MVP comes out and gets some cheap shots but Young shows up to jump the boss as we take a break. Back with the two still fighting and MVP in control. He tries to hang Eric with his tie but the champion fights back as they head to the ramp. Young seems to be favoring his arm so MVP hammers away on it back in the ring. Security comes down to break it up but MVP gets in more shots on the arm, including a flying armbar. MVP makes the title match tonight with him getting the title shot.

Spud tries to sneak up on Ray in Dixie’s house but the cameraman gives him away. Spud is captured but Ray tells the camera guys to stay there.

Mr. Anderson vs. James Storm

The opening bell is after a break and the brawl is already on the floor. Anderson takes him into the barricade but Anderson’s hand is slammed into the steps to give Storm control. Back inside with Storm working over the arm but getting caught in the swinging neckbreaker. Storm tries to run from the Mic Check, allowing him to hit a quick low blow for two, as the referee catches Storm’s feet on the ropes. A running DDT gets two on Anderson and it’s beer bottle time. The referee takes the bottle away but Storm spits in Anderson’s face, setting up the Last Call for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: D+. These matches are starting to get repetitive. The arm work went nowhere here and the match was only ok if you stretch a lot. It’s nice to see Storm FINALLY get a win though. That’s his first singles win on TV in over a year. That simply should not happen to a former World Champion.

Samuel Shaw is in an institution and can only say Christy.

Video on Sanada training and what the X Title means to him.

X-Division Title: Sanada vs. Tigre Uno vs. DJZ

DJZ is coming in with bad ribs. Sanada is defending and he teams up with Tigre to take Ion down to start. Tigre tries a quick rollup for two on the champ. There’s a bunch of confetti in the ring from Sanada’s entrance and it’s all over everyone’s back. Sanada misses a standing moonsault on Tigre but snaps up with a dropkick to the back. DJZ comes back in but gets caught in a rolling cradle for two for the champ.

Tigre stays on the floor for a bit as DJZ nails some forearms to Sanada in the corner. Sanada comes back with some chops as Tigre is still on the floor. Tigre finally comes back in with a dropkick to both guys, followed by a spinning Asai Moonsault to the floor. He throws DJZ back inside but Ion breaks up a moonsault. Sanada springboards back in with a chop to DJZ’s head and hits a tiger suplex for the pin to retain at 5:33.

Rating: C. Sanada is still good but these guys are pretty much the entire division right now. It’s the same problem the division has had for years now: you can find one guy that does well for awhile but the division is dead save for the month before Destination X. Nothing much to see here but it wasn’t bad.

Ray calls Dixie from Spud’s phone and tells her she’s all alone.

Gunner comes to see Samuel Shaw in the institution because Shaw needs someone to talk to.

We recap Ethan injuring Angle’s knee last week.

Dixie goes into her house and finds Spud tied up. Bully shuts the door and asks Dixie if she ever though it would come to this. He’s doing it because of what she did at Sacrifice and wants to know if she believes he’s afraid of her. Ray asks if she wants this to end. She does of course but he wants her to say she fears him. She’s about to say it when Ethan jumps Ray from behind. Dixie says she fears no one.

We recap Roode and MVP brawling last week, leading to MVP suspending Roode from Impact for the foreseeable future.

TNA World Title: Eric Young vs. MVP

Young attacks before the bell but is sent bad arm first into the steps. MVP works it over even more as the match hasn’t actually started yet. Back from a break with the opening bell and MVP staying on the bad arm. Eric fights up and hits some of his usual stuff before loading up the top rope elbow, only to have Kenny King of all people come down and shove Eric off the top for the DQ at 3:10.

Rating: D. I don’t have a rating in me for this one. Most of it was just arm work anyway.

MVP tells the referee to restart the match or he’s fired. The referee won’t do it so King decks him. King and MVP beat up Eric until Bobby Lashley comes out for the save….before joining up with them to destroy Young. Eric is slammed through some chairs by Lashley and taunted with the belt. The new heel faction stands tall to end the show. Taz: “This is bad Mike.” Preach it brother.

Overall Rating: D. TNA is entering it’s summer lull and they’re diving in head first. There was some watchable stuff tonight but the stories are just killing everything else. As I’ve complained about probably a dozen times before, it feels like we’ve seen every bit of this before. The Beautiful People are dominant and calling people ugly, the heel authority figure(s) are receiving far more TV time than anyone else, and the title picture is about the plucky champion fighting to keep the main evil authority figure from gaining ultimate power.

It’s the same stuff this company has run with for YEARS now and it’s just not working here. We’re coming up on one of the biggest shows of the year and looking at Eric Young vs. MVP for the World Title. I could picture that being a midcard title match, but TNA doesn’t have time for a midcard title. Maybe if Dixie didn’t have to have five segments a show we could, but Heaven forbid she’s not one of the focal points of the show. The more I think about it the more it seems like they want her to turn face, which would be about the dumbest thing they could do. In other words, look for face Dixie to send her guy in to face MVP at BFG.

Results
Willow b. Bram/Willow – Small package to Magnus
Gail Kim b. Velvet Sky – Eat Defeat
Kazarian b. Crazy Steve via DQ when Menagerie interfered
Sanada b. DJZ and Tigre Uno – Tiger suplex to DJZ
Eric Young b. MVP via DQ when Kenny King interfered

 

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