Super ShowDown 2020: What Else Is There To Say?

IMG Credit: WWE

Super ShowDown 2020
Date: February 27, 2020
Location: Mohammed Abdu Arena on the Boulevard, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re back in Saudi Arabia and for the first time ever, they’re on a streak of a good show. Last October’s Crown Jewel was a pretty good show, though I’m not sure what reason I would have to believe that will be the case again here. I’m not sure how the main event of Goldberg vs. the Fiend is going to go though and that’s a nice feeling. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Viking Raiders vs. OC

Anderson headlocks Erik to start but that’s broken up with straight power. Ivar comes in for a knee to the face before wrapping his beard (yes his beard) around Anderson’s face. Erik slams Ivar onto Anderson for two but it’s Gallows coming in to try his luck. That means a fall away slam to Erik and the chinlock goes on. Anderson sends Erik into the corner again and Gallows drops the big elbow.

The chinlock goes on again but Erik fights up and rolls over for the hot tag to Ivar. The seated senton out of the corner crushes Anderson and there’s a clothesline to Gallows. Everything breaks down and Erik suplexes Gallows into the corner. Gallows is right back with a chokebomb to Erik, who knees Anderson in the face to get out of trouble. Ivar’s double handspring elbow puts the OC down but he misses a moonsault. The Magic Killer gives the OC the pin at 9:58.

Rating: C. What is with the Vikings not being able to beat these guys over here? It’s a bit of a confusing result as the Vikings have been in a much more prominent role than the OC as of late. That being said, it’s not like this match is going to mean anything in the long run so it’s not something I’m going to get annoyed at. Decent enough power match too.

The opening video talks about making your mark on the world.

That’s a lot of pyro.

Tuwaiq Trophy: Gauntlet Match

Andrade’s US Title isn’t on the line, there are six entrants and it’s R-Truth in at #1 and Bobby Lashley, with a completely covered Lana, is in at #2. R-Truth leapfrogs him to start and snaps off a headscissors, only to get knocked hard off the apron. Back in and Lashley slams him down hard, setting up the chinlock. R-Truth reverses into a sleeper but Lashley runs him over again. The Dominator is broken up though and it’s time for the John Cena sequence. Lashley is fine enough to come back with the Downward Spiral but the spear hits the corner. A rollup gives R-Truth the upset pin at 5:37.

Before the third entrant comes out, Lashley destroys him with a bunch of whips into the steps. The spear drops R-Truth again and it’s the returning Andrade (no Zelina Vega) in at #3. Andrade knees him in the corner to start and puts on an armbar over the ropes. A regular armbar keeps R-Truth in trouble and the running knees in the corner get two.

The hammerlock DDT is broken up and Andrade’s running knee only hits buckle, meaning it’s a crash to the floor. Back in and Truth scores with a Lie Detector for two, followed by a collision of heads so R-Truth can fall on him for the pin at 13:30 (there’s Andrade’s bonus punishment).

Erick Rowan is in at #4 and stars with the power, including a running slam in the corner. R-Truth gets up a boot in the corner and low bridges him to the floor, setting up the big dive. Rowan sends him into the steps but it knocks the cage down, meaning he sends R-Truth into the steps over and over again. A big shot with the steps is enough for the DQ to eliminate Rowan at 17:48. Rowan isn’t done yet as he adds in the Iron Claw before AJ Styles is in at #5.

R-Truth’s shoulder is done and he can barely get to his feet so AJ kicks him in the face. Another into the shoulder lets AJ mock the dancing and it’s time to start on the leg. AJ dances even more and kicks R-Truth in the legs again as the AJ STYLES chants are going fairly strong. The Calf Crusher makes R-Truth tap at 23:36 so it’s Rey Mysterio in at #6 to complete the field. Or not as there’s no Mysterio, who has been attacked in the back by Anderson and Gallows.

AJ grabs the mic and says there’s no Mysterio so he wins by forfeit. He demands his trophy but the referee is willing to give Rey a count of ten. The referee gets to seven but we see the OC down….and some large black boots. Then the gong strikes and there go the lights, as usual. After the full entrance, it’s a chokeslam to give Undertaker the Trophy at 32:27. Undertaker didn’t even take off his hat and coat.

Rating: C-. This was long, though nowhere near as long as some gauntlet matches WWE has done in recent years. Undertaker winning is fine for a surprise and at this point, far better than having him wrestle a full match. I’m sure this will set up the Wrestlemania match and that’s a fine way to go about it. R-Truth did well and as luck would have it, he has a new documentary on the Network. Imagine that timing!

New Day is ready for Miz and John Morrison because this is a big night.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Miz/John Morrison vs. New Day

New Day is defending. Big E. powers Miz into the corner to start and there’s the spanking abdominal stretch. The Warrior Splash brings in Kofi and Morrison with the former hitting a running backsplash. It’s already back to Big E., who gets sent outside for the slingshot dive from Morrison. Miz grabs the chinlock but Big E. fights up, only to get caught with a modified Hart Attack (Flying Chuck instead of a running clothesline).

The Rock Bottom out of the corner puts Miz down and that’s enough for the hot tag to Kofi. A running knee and the Boom Drop look to set up Trouble in Paradise but Miz makes the save. Back up and Morrison hits an Alabama Slam into a running knee for two. Kofi is fine enough to get two off the SOS and it’s a pretty awesome powerbomb/top rope double stomp combination for another near fall.

Miz fires off the YES Kicks to Big E. but Starship Pain misses. Kofi is back in for a quick Midnight Hour for two on Morrison with Miz making another save. Kofi loads up the Trust Fall but crashes HARD to the floor instead, leaving Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale for two on Big E. It’s back to Kofi, who reverses another Finale into a victory roll for two more. Morrison sneaks in a chair to the ribs though and Miz grabs a rollup (with tights) for the pin and the titles at 12:58.

Rating: B. This felt a bit longer as they packed a lot in there. Miz and Morrison winning the titles is the right call as we’ve seen New Day as champions for what feels like forever. Miz and Morrison can feud with New Day and the Usos in the coming months, but more importantly they’re something fresh and that’s what the titles have needed. If nothing else, a victory Dirt Sheet will be great.

Seth Rollins and Murphy are ready to retain their titles because it is their destiny to get rid of the Street Profits.

Angel Garza vs. Humberto Carrillo

Garza lays on the corner and does some crunches during Carrillo’s entrance. They both miss a bunch of strikes and it’s a standoff with Carrillo backflipping away. The big spinning springboard crossbody winds up being a headbutt for Carrillo. They head outside with Garza getting taken down off a headscissors and then getting knocked into the barricade off a suicide dive.

Back in and a basement dropkick gets two on Garza but he scores with a running dropkick in the corner. You can tell they’re in a different country as there’s little reaction when GARZA TAKES OFF HIS PANTS! Carrillo fights out of a camel clutch and hits a spinning kick to the head for two. Garza is back up to dropkick him out of the air for two but Carrillo hits a Canadian Destroyer to put both of them down. They go into the pinfall reversal sequence like Garza won on Raw….and he does so again with a rollup for the pin at 9:08.

Rating: C. These matches continue to not exactly hit thrilling as they are just lucha matches without a ton of heat. What we got was fine enough, but it was nothing better than what we got on Raw. I just can’t bring myself to care about them and while the matches are fine, they’re forgettable and not exactly making me interested in either of them.

Bayley is ready to make history again and retain her title. I’m liking these quick interviews before the matches to get me a bit more in the mood.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Street Profits vs. Murphy/Seth Rollins

Rollins and Murphy are defending. Dawkins spears Murphy down to start and wrestles him into the corner so Ford can come in. That means the big dropkick but Rollins comes in to take over on Ford. Murphy’s Meteora gets two and it’s back to Rollins for more stomping. Ford finally sends them both outside but Murphy pulls Dawkins off the apron to keep Ford in. Rollins is sent into the corner though and the hot tag brings in Dawkins to clean house.

Dropkicks and suplexes abound for two and it’s back to Ford who gets rolled up for two more. Ford kicks Rollins down though and hits the frog splash for his own two. Dawkins knocks Murphy hard over the announcers’ table but he’s back in to save Rollins again. A double Pedigree is countered into a double DDT on the champs to send them outside. Ford’s big running flip dive is caught though and he gets planted hard. Dawkins dives off the apron to take both of them down and they head back inside. Murphy gets in a knee to Dawkins, sending him into the ropes for the Stomp onto the apron to retain at 10:42.

Rating: B-. The Profits can do a lot of great things and there is little doubt that they are going to win the titles one day. What we had here was an entertaining match but there was no way the title change was taking place. Rollins and Murphy are big deals on Raw and they aren’t dropping the titles on a show that is the wrestling equivalent of a side quest.

We recap the Kickoff Show match.

Mansoor vs. Dolph Ziggler

Robert Roode is here with Ziggler but gets ejected before the bell. They trade headlocks to start until Mansoor hits a hard running shoulder. A standing moonsault gets two but Ziggler rakes the eyes across the rope to slow things down. The big jumping elbow sets up another chinlock on Mansoor, which is switched into something like a Crossface and then the Rings of Saturn.

Mansoor fights up and avoids the Fameasser, setting up the slingshot neckbreaker. A kind of reverse Big Ending gets two more but Mansoor gets pulled off the top. The Zig Zag gives Ziggler two but they seem to get a little messed up when fighting over a suplex. A reverse Sliced Bread (kind of a running flip DDT) plants Ziggler and the moonsault (with only the legs hitting Ziggler) finishes at 9:12.

Rating: C-. This was miles away from the Cesaro match as they were missing some cues and the match was hardly interesting in the first place. The Mansoor match has become the token crowd match. That’s all well and good, but when you do it over and over again, the charm is gone. When the match isn’t exactly great either, it isn’t making things that much better either.

Post match Mansoor says the same thing he says after every win: Saudi Arabia is awesome and he’s proud.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Ricochet. It’s the latest smaller guy challenging Lesnar in an underdog role. Ricochet has as much chance of winning as I do of becoming Miss Nevada 1974, but he has that natural underdog charisma to him that makes you believe a miracle could maybe kind of sort of have a prayer of happening.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Ricochet

Ricochet is challenging and his early dropkick attempt is knocked away. Three straight German suplexes send Ricochet flying and the F5 finishes clean at 1:28. I’m not getting mad at this one because Ricochet was playing WAY over his head here but…actually never mind on this one as there’s not much to complain about this time around.

We recap King Corbin vs. Roman Reigns. They’ve been feuding for months but want to keep everyone else out, meaning it’s time for a cage match. This feels tacked on after the feud ended so there isn’t much of a reason to care about it.

King Corbin vs. Roman Reigns

In a cage and commentary says this is the final time these two are fighting. Reigns chains the door shut so one escape route is cut off. Corbin uses the delay to jump Reigns from behind and the cheap shots take us to the opening bell. The slow beating begins and Corbin goes for an early climb but Reigns cuts him off without too much effort. They come back down with Reigns firing off the clotheslines in the corner.

The Superman punch is countered and Deep Six plants Reigns for two. Corbin looks for the key to the door but settles for two off a powerbomb instead. Some hard forearms keep Reigns down and the door is unlocked, only to have Reigns send him into the door. The Superman punch is countered into a chokeslam for two though and Corbin grabs the chain.

Corbin tries his own Superman punch but gets dropped by the real thing. They both go climbing and wind up on top for the slugout. Reigns has to be pulled back in so Corbin can send him into the cage and back to the mat. That just earns Corbin back to back Superman punches, followed by the Superman punch with a chain for the pin at 12:52.

Rating: C-. I know they kept hyping this up as the end but do you really believe we won’t see it again within a few months? This feud has been driven so far into the ground, which isn’t a good idea as it didn’t have the longest legs in the first place. It was your normal cage match, but they have made me sick of seeing both guys so it wasn’t exactly something that matters anyway.

We recap Undertaker’s surprise (I guess?) appearance earlier tonight.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Naomi vs. Bayley

Naomi is challenging and thankfully her big hair didn’t make it through customs. Bayley takes her to the mat to start but Naomi gets up and hits the splits splash. A kick to the face gives Naomi two more and a hurricanrana puts Bayley on the floor. The running corkscrew dive takes her down again but Bayley drives her back first into the apron to take over.

Back in and we hit the chinlock, with Bayley shouting at fans to shut up. Naomi fights up and hits a kick to the head, followed by a kick to the head for a change of pace. A springboard kick to the face drops Bayley again, followed by a knee to the ribs for two. The reverse Rings of Saturn has Bayley in more trouble but she gets a foot on the rope.

Bayley grabs a quick Bayley to Belly for two and there’s a running knee to rock Naomi again. Naomi catches her on top but misses the split legged moonsault. It’s time to get creative as Bayley ties Naomi’s legs into her shirt and finishes with that weird bulldog driver at 11:38.

Rating: C. I know WWE is going to be doing their big “rah rah we’re awesome and trailblazers and amazing” stuff out of this and I get why they go there, but it’s not a great match. Bayley has been champion for a long time now and it’s going to take a big win to get it off of her. Maybe they have something interesting planned at Elimination Chamber, but for now she has cleaned out the division.

We recap Goldberg vs. the Fiend. Goldberg was the most dominant force of his day and never got a rematch for the Universal Title. Therefore, he’s back to go after Fiend, who is a whole different animal.

Smackdown World Title: Goldberg vs. Fiend

Fiend is defending and gets in Goldberg’s face to start. Goldberg hits a quick spear for two but gets caught with the Mandible Claw. That’s broken up with a ram into the corner and Goldberg hits two more spears. There’s a fourth for two more and Fiend is right back with the Claw. Goldberg knees his way out and hits the Jackhammer to win the title at 2:59.

Post match Fiend gets up, the lights go out, and Fiend disappears. Goldberg celebrates to end the show.

What else is there to say about this? WWE has made it clear for a long time now that outside of Wrestlemania season and Saudi Arabia, nothing else matters. Fiend could have beaten Rock and Austin at the same time and there was no way he was going to defend the title at Wrestlemania because Fiend vs. anyone (save for that colorful guy from Massachusetts) isn’t a Wrestlemania style main event. I’m sure Reigns will get the title back in Tampa and it’ll be Reignsamania again as Fiend gets a pat on the back and is told he did well, just not well enough for the big show.

Overall Rating: D+. While it’s a far cry from the depths that these shows have sunk to before, it’s a pretty weak show with only a few good things throughout. They did make it feel more important with multiple title changes, but at the same time there is so much that just comes and goes like it’s on a slightly bigger than usual house show. The ending is annoying as a big Wyatt fan but I pretty much knew he was done as soon as the match was announced. I wanted to imagine Goldberg going down to the Claw but that’s not how WWE works. Anyway, not the worst, but the main event is almost all anyone will be talking about.

Results

Undertaker won a gauntlet match last eliminating AJ Styles

John Morrison/The Miz b. New Day – Rollup with tights to Kingston

Angel Garza b. Humberto Carrillo – Rollup

Seth Rollins/Murphy b. Street Profits – Stomp to Dawkins

Mansoor b. Dolph Ziggler – Moonsault

Brock Lesnar b. Ricochet – F5

Roman Reigns b. King Corbin – Superman punch with a chain

Bayley b. Naomi – Bulldog driver

Goldberg b. Fiend – Jackhammer

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – February 21, 2020: The One You Have To Get Through

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 21, 2020
Location: Gila River Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

As tends to be the case far too often these days, WWE is building to several things at once. This time around it’s the go home Smackdown for Super ShowDown, Elimination Chamber is in about two weeks and we’ve got Wrestlemania (and its sign) looming over everything. The big story tonight is Goldberg being in the arena for a change as he’s ready to face the Fiend next week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are the Usos to get things going. They aren’t happy with Miz and John Morrison targeting them last week so tonight is about revenge. They’re not coming in alone though so here’s New Day. The Usos are glad to have them here, though they better be keeping those titles warm. Both teams put over the others’ accomplishments but Big E. points out that they’re up 7-6 in title reigns over the Usos. That makes them the better team, but the Usos want one more shot after Super ShowDown. Now it’s Miz and Morrison interrupting and they have a song the fans can sing about their names. They have partners too.

Usos/New Day vs. Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler/Miz/John Morrison

Joined in progress with Ziggler in trouble in the corner, including Big E. whipping the Usos into Ziggler. The Usos send Kofi into him as well but Morrison throws Kofi to the floor for a big boot from Miz. Kofi gets sent into the barricade as Big E. has to be held back. Roode chinlocks Kofi back inside and sends him into the corner for the tag to Ziggler. With the referee distracted, Kofi gets triple choked but Miz spends too much time posing.

Kofi goes up top but gets shoved outside in a big crash. Back from a break with Kofi backdropping Ziggler to the floor and hitting a running stomp on Roode. That’s enough for the hot tag to Big E., who comes in and beats the heck out of Miz. Morrison cuts off the spear through the ropes so Big E. gives him the Rock Bottom out of the corner for two (during the kickout, the screen glitches to show what looks like a letter).

Morrison’s running knee to the face into the standing shooting star press gets two so it’s a spinebuster/Zig Zag combination (more like a spinebuster/slap to the back combination) for two on Jey with Jimmy making the save. A bunch of superkicks have Ziggler in trouble and, after escaping the Glorious DDT, another finishes Roode at 11:45.

Rating: C. It’s a formula tag match which mixed up two feuds and that is something that works far more often than not. The Usos are back at full speed and that’s a very good sign for the future of the division. You can only do New Day vs. Usos so many times though and a title change to someone fresh would be a smart move. Also, what was up with the glitch?

Drew Gulak offers Daniel Bryan a PowerPoint presentation about what is wrong with him but Heath Slater comes in. Heath is annoyed at Bryan for beating him (Heath: “You made my kids cry. Nobody makes my kids cry but me!”) so he wants a rematch. Bryan is game.

Long video on the Mandy Rose/Otis saga, including last week’s failed date.

Tucker accuses Mandy of inviting Dolph Ziggler but Mandy says Ziggler was there when Otis was late. She doesn’t seem to know anything about sending out a text saying she was going to be late.

We get a sitdown interview with Lacey Evans, who was hurt by the loss to Bayley but she isn’t finished until the job is done. Yes she used to be a bully but then Sasha Banks and Bayley brought her daughter into it and that made her change. Now, her sights are on the Elimination Chamber and she will win the Women’s Title at Wrestlemania. Wait, how many Elimination Chamber matches are we getting??? The Raw women’s match has already been announced and you would assume a men’s match so…..at least three?

Cesaro/Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Elias/Braun Strowman

This is a Symphony of Destruction match, meaning there are musical instruments around the ring and falls count anywhere. Elias sings a song to introduce Braun, which actually isn’t interrupted. Braun brings out the huge bass for a nice callback to the first version of this thing. Elias hiptosses a tambourine out of Nakamura’s hands to start and then knees him out to the floor.

Everything breaks down in a hurry and Strowman breaks a drum over Cesaro’s head. That earns him a ukulele to the back from Sami Zayn, which has even less effect than you might have expected. Nakamura catches Strowman with a mic stand to the face though and we take a break. Back with Cesaro playing the cowbell and then sending Elias through a table.

That just earns him the running shoulders from Strowman, followed by a chokeslam onto the apron. Sami offers another distraction though and it’s a double suplex to send Strowman through the bass. It’s Elias with another guitar to the back but Nakamura breaks up an elbow through a table. Instead, Strowman powerslams Nakamura onto (not through) a piano, leaving Elias to elbow Cesaro through the table for the pin at 10:44.

Rating: C+. I liked this one well enough as the sight gag of the big bass coming back alone helped. Then you have a powerslam onto the big piano, which was a cross between painful and impressive. I’m not sure how far anything in this feud is going to go but it gives some people something to do for the time being so good enough.

Video on Roman Reigns vs. King Corbin.

Corbin is tired of Reigns’ face being everywhere and he’s ready to get rid of Reigns one on one at Super ShowDown. Then Corbin becomes the face of the company.

It’s time for a Moment of Bliss, with Alexa Bliss talking about the Hall of Fame. This year’s class includes the NWO and Batista, and now it will also include the Bella Twins, her guests tonight. They can’t believe how awesome this is and they’re all about breaking barriers, like making this announcement on the first ever women’s talk show. Brie brings up being pregnant at the same time and….uh yeah everything is awesome. Daniel Bryan comes out for his match and brings his daughter for a nice moment.

Daniel Bryan vs. Heath Slater

Drew Gulak is on commentary and is rather pleased with Slater starting on on Bryan’s knee. A knockdown gives Slater two and he goes up, only to have Gulak yell at him. The distraction lets Bryan move and the YES Kicks are on. The running knee finishes Slater at 2:44.

Mandy is in the back (with another letter glitch, though it might look like a ticking clock) when Ziggler comes up to offer her a ride. She accepts and they leave, with Otis popping up behind them, looking rather sad.

Sheamus is going to be in the Elimination Chamber. So that’s three, minimum.

Shorty G. tries to fire Apollo Crews up but Apollo doesn’t want to hear it. He’ll handle Sheamus his way.

Naomi vs. Carmella

The winner gets Bayley, at ringside, for the Women’s Title at Super ShowDown. Naomi pulls her into a headlock to start but Carmella reverses into one of her own. That’s broken up as well so Naomi gets two off a sliding clothesline. The very spinning headscissors has Naomi in trouble but she’s back in with a high crossbody for two. A quick Bayley distraction lets Carmella get two off a middle rope hurricanrana. That’s enough for an ejection and Carmella takes Naomi out with a suicide dive as we take a break.

Back with Carmella cutting off the dancing kicks and getting two off an Edge-O-Matic. Naomi misses a springboard kick to the head so she settles for a slingshot corkscrew dive to the floor. A sunset flip gets two back inside and Carmella reverses into the Code of Silence. That’s escaped into a Rear View for another near fall on Carmella. A middle rope Blockbuster sets up the split legged moonsault to pin Carmella for the title shot at Bayley at 12:47.

Rating: D+. That’s about as good as you were going to get here as neither of them are exactly known as ring generals. You could have gone with either winning but Naomi’s entrance inside a stadium will be worth seeing. I’m not sure what this means should Bayley win, but since we’re getting another Chamber match, it should be explained in a hurry.

John Cena is back next week.

Here’s Goldberg for a chat. He’s glad to be back and whatever the Fiend is, he’s ready. Cue the Firefly Fun House with Bray doing some construction. Bray wants Goldberg to get to know his friends, including most of the cast. There is one person left though….and the lights go out. The Fiend is here but Goldberg is smart enough to turn around and spear him.

Goldberg loads up another one but the lights go out again and Fiend disappears to end the show, complete with Fiendish laughter. As usual, Goldberg is at his best when things are kept simple. He hit Fiend hard and Fiend went down, can he do it again? What more do you need?

Overall Rating: C. This was the annoying show that we have to get through but thankfully next week will only have two things to build towards. That’s the big overarching problem at the moment: there is too much stuff coming up on the calendar and it is causing a lot of issues. This week’s show was designed to set things up for next week and beyond, which is fine, but doesn’t exactly make for a thrilling show. It did its job, but that job isn’t an exciting one.

Results

Usos/New Day b. Miz/John Morrison/Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Superkick to Roode

Elias/Braun Strowman b. Cesaro/Shinsuke Nakamura – Top rope elbow through a table to Cesaro

Daniel Bryan b. Heath Slater – Running knee

Naomi b. Carmella – Split legged moonsault

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Main Event – February 6, 2020: That Time Of The Year

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: February 6, 2020
Location: Vivint Smart Home Arena, Salt Lake City, Utah
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Mickie James

We’re coming up on Super ShowDown because we’re just that lucky. Things are starting to take shape as we now have a WWE Championship match, meaning it is time to recap everything that got us here. I’m not sure how much there was to recap but that has never stopped this show before. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

OC vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Gallows shrugs off a headlock attempt to start and shows Hawkins how it’s done. That means a big shove to put Hawkins down but he’s smart enough to kick away rather than go for a test of strength. Ryder comes in for a slingshot dropkick through the ropes to take both of them down but Gallows kicks him in the face.

Back in and Gallows unloads on Ryder in the corner, followed by a chinlock from Anderson. Gallows’ snap suplex sets up some elbows to the chest and another chinlock. Ryder fights up and makes it over to Hawkins for the hot tag so the pace can pick up. A Michinoku Driver gets two on Anderson but Ryder misses a dive and get sent into the barricade. The Magic Killer finishes Hawkins at 5:11.

Rating: C. This was a snappy little tag match and that’s better than you would expect from this show. That’s one of the things I like about Main Event: sometimes you get a surprisingly good match from people who have little reason to try. The reason they do have though is pride, and it’s nice to see people working hard just to make the fans happy in a match that means nothing in the slightest.

From Smackdown.

Usos/Roman Reigns vs. King Corbin/Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler

The losers must eat DOG FOOD, which Cole has repeated about 37 times tonight. Corbin punches Jey down for an early two and a low bridge puts Jey on the floor. Roode, now in long tights, hits a spinebuster on the floor as Cole puts over how bad the dog food smells. We take a break and come back with Roode cranking on Jey’s arms. Jey slips out so Ziggler comes in, only to miss a Stinger Splash in the corner.

Corbin gets the tag and breaks up the hot tag though, allowing him to make Jey look at the dog food. That’s enough to make Jey get over for the hot tag to Reigns as everything breaks down. A big boot connects for Reigns but Corbin is back with a chokeslam for two. Ziggler adds a superkick and it’s the Deep Six for two more on Reigns. Jimmy is back in and sends Roode over the announcers’ table, setting up another dive to Ziggler. Reigns misses the spear but rolls Corbin up for the pin at 9:56.

Rating: C-. Yeah it’s another watchable match but it’s everything else that is making it bad. Between Cole shouting about the dog food over and over and over again and the fact that we’ve seen these people fight for months now and how this was nothing new as far as a six man formula goes, this wasn’t exactly thrilling. It’s fine for a house show stipulation where the kids can laugh, but when you have to hear about it all night long, it’s way too much.

Post match Corbin tries to leave but he gets speared down and handcuffed, meaning he gets chained up like he did to Reigns months ago. The buckets of dog food are poured over him so Reigns and the Usos can pose to end the show. It’s a poetic way to go about things with Corbin, but the feud has gone on for so long now that the impact is really, really weakened. Also it’s not exactly brilliant, cutting edge stuff in the first place.

From Raw.

Here’s Charlotte to announce her Wrestlemania decision. She has held the Raw and Women’s Titles more than once and….there’s a Rhea chant. Charlotte says she’s done that too and yes NXT has love for it’s queen but….here’s Rhea herself. Rhea says Charlotte has beaten Bayley and Becky, but Rhea has beaten her. She holds up the NXT Women’s Title and Charlotte smiles at her, only to walk around and leave. Charlotte throws in one more WOO for good measure. I’m not sure where they’re going with this and I like that.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Cedric Alexander

Shelton suplexes him down to start and a backdrop cuts off Cedric’s early comeback attempt. The anklescissors is blocked as well with Shelton kicking him in the ribs for two instead. The chinlock goes on and of course brings Cedric back to his feet, only to get hit in the face again. Cedric is sent to the apron and tries a springboard but gets kneed out to the floor.

Back from a break with Shelton grabbing another chinlock until Cedric fights up with some rapid fire strikes. A dropkick to the back of the head has Shelton in more trouble…until he kicks Cedric in the face for two. Shelton goes up so Cedric runs the ropes for a super Spanish Fly and another near fall. Cedric is right back up with the Neuralizer for the pin at 10:51.

Rating: C+. Another nice match here with both guys working. Cedric continues to be the guy who can do anything you ask from him in the ring and if he ever has the slightest bit of charisma to back it up, he’d be a star in the blink of an eye. I could go for a lot more of him, but I can also see why WWE is a bit hesitant to push him.

We look at Randy Orton attacking Edge last week.

From Raw.

Here’s Orton to explain himself. Orton takes his time before posing on the roles and the fans are not thrilled to see him. He thinks he owes an explanation but the fans are booing him out of the building in a hurry. That turns into an Edge chant and Orton still can’t bring himself to say anything. He finally says he can’t do this, puts the mic down, and walks away.

From Raw again.

Seth Rollins vs. Ricochet vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is sent outside early and Rollins is right there with a Sling Blade to Ricochet. Another shot knocks Lashley off the apron so Rollins can get a quick two. Lashley is back in though and hits a DDT to Rollins and a neckbreaker on Ricochet at the same time. A clothesline puts Rollins on the floor but Ricochet gets in a kick to Lashley’s head. The rolling dropkick puts Lashley outside again and there’s the big flip dive.

Another one hits Rollins and it’s time for the 630…but Buddy Murphy and the AOP run out to wreck Lashley and Ricochet. This brings out Kevin Owens for the save with the Viking Raiders following to clean house as we take a break. Back with Lashley coming back in to run Ricochet over and plant Seth with a spinebuster. Ricochet hits a high crossbody on Lashley though and scores with the springboard clothesline to Rollins.

The running shooting star press gets two with Lashley having to make a save. Another spinebuster hits Ricochet and a lifting Downward Spiral gets two on Rollins. A Blockbuster gives Rollins his own two on Lashley with Ricochet making a save this time around. The Buckle Bomb hits Ricochet but he’s back up with an enziguri to catch Rollins on top. There’s the Tower of Doom, though Lashley lets go of the two of them so it was more like Ricochet superplexing Rollins as Lashley just fell. The 630 hits Lashley for the sudden pin at 13:33.

Rating: B. Ricochet makes sense as the big winner as we’ve seen Rollins and Lashley vs. Lesnar isn’t exactly thrilling to anyone but Lashley. Ricochet may not have a chance to win but there’s a great Jeff Hardy factor him where there might be a .01% chance that he could win, but it’s very fun to think about. The match was good and it had the right winner so I can’t really complain.

Post match Lesnar runs in for a quick F5 to end the show. Lesnar might have been on screen for fifteen seconds and got a full payday for it. That’s why he’s smarter than we are.

Overall Rating: C+. Oh yeah you can tell it’s Wrestlemania season as they’re trying a little harder with both the wrestling and the story. It’s a show where you can tell the effort is a little harder and that’s the kind of thing you can’t fake. I’m looking forward to Wrestlemania and if they keep this up for the next few weeks, we’re in for a big night in Tampa.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – February 7, 2020: Gotcha! I’m Not Sure Why But Gotcha!

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 7, 2020
Location: SAP Center, San Jose, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re less than three weeks away from Super ShowDown and that means it’s time to line up some major guest starts. We’ll likely start that tonight as Goldberg is here and is going to need a match. I’m not sure who that is going to be but I’m hoping we might get to see him face the Fiend. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Goldberg returning.

Opening sequence.

Here are Miz and Morrison for the return of the Dirt Sheet. Morrison: “My name is John Morrison. My shirt has buttons but I don’t use them.” In honor of the Academy Awards, we see a clip of Once Upon A Time On The Dirt Sheet, a film which is guaranteed to win all the Slammys (it’s also rated A for AWESOME). We see a trailer featuring various cameos, including Miz’s dad, Lance Storm and Johnny Ace. Basically Miz needs to prove himself again, Morrison is back and the two of them want to show they’re better than New Day. This is all in a Once Upon A Time In Hollywood style and words aren’t doing it justice.

Back in the ring, Morrison talks about how interesting it is that people want to talk to them now that they’re the cool kids again. Cue New Day, with popcorn buckets, to talk about how awesome the trailer was. They saw the amazing athlete in Mr. Miz and your trivia for the night: Kofi is Mr. Miz’s favorite superstar. Kofi: “That’s a shoot.”

It had comedy too, like the idea that Miz and Morrison could win the Tag Team Titles. Cue the Usos to say Miz and Morrison never beat them so welcome to the Uso Penitentiary. That sounds like an interesting match so here are Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode because we were this close to having some fun and that’s not what Ziggler and Roode are all about. Miz and Morrison jump New Day and the match is next.

Usos vs. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode

Well yeah of course it’s this match. What else was it going to be? Roode and Jimmy exchange chops to start until it’s Jey coming in to chop as well. Ziggler gets the tag and hits a dropkick, followed by the Fameasser for two. The Zig Zag/spinebuster combination gets two on Jimmy as Jey makes the save. Jey hits an enziguri and goes up, only to have Ziggler offer a distraction so Jey can get knocked off the top in a crash.

Back from a break with Roode stomping Jey down in the corner but Ziggler gets punched in the face a few times. A kick to the jaw allows the hot tag to Jimmy as the pace picks up. The Samoan drop hits Ziggler and Roode, the latter of whom is right back with a powerslam. Ziggler takes too long loading up the superkick though and it’s Jimmy hitting one to each of them. The Superfly Splash hits knees and Ziggler gets two off a small package. The double superkick hits Roode though and now the Superfly Splash can connect for the pin at 12:33.

Rating: C+. They’re both good teams (or great in the Usos’ case) but the lack of interest that hits as soon as Ziggler’s music hits is astounding. I don’t need to see him do anything else ever again but more importantly, I don’t need to hear anything associated with the Roman Reigns vs. King Corbin feud again and this was a spinoff of that feud, meaning I’m good with not watching them associate in any way.

Nikki Cross and Alexa Bliss are ready for Bliss’ chance to become #1 contender.

We look back at Corbin getting covered with dog food last week.

Corbin storms into the production truck and the out the guy who played the tape. Agents prevent further violence.

Here’s Elias for a song. He’s facing Cesaro tonight and needs all the support he can get, so this song is called Third Time’s The Charm. After two words, here’s Cesaro to cut him off, with Sami Zayn as a bonus. Elias points out that he always gets interrupted but Sami goes on a rant about how Elias laughed when Shinsuke Nakamura lost the Intercontinental Title. Therefore, it’s time to learn a lesson.

Elias vs. Cesaro

Joined in progress with Corey’s microphone not working and Cesaro hammering away against the ropes. A Sami distraction cuts Elias off and we hit the chinlock. An elbow gets two and there’s a gutwrench suplex to keep Elias down. The chinlock goes on again but this time Elias gets up for a jumping knee to the face.

Elias’ top rope elbow is broken up with a running uppercut and the apron superplex gives Cesaro two. Elias gets fired up and stomps away in the corner, which is a lot more offense than you usually see from him. A slam sets up the top rope elbow for the completely clean pin at 7:33.

Rating: D+. Elias is such a weird case as I’m still not sure how he should be used. His character is fine and the songs will keep him around for years, but the wrestling just isn’t there. He can be passable in the ring but that’s about his ceiling, which isn’t going to get him very far. Then there’s Cesaro losing clean and….are you really surprised? Even to Elias?

We’re ready to talk to Goldberg but here’s King Corbin to interrupt. Everyone should respect him because last week was an abomination. Roman Reigns should have lost last week, just like the 49ers lost to his Kansas City Chiefs. Reigns can’t do anything without his lapdogs because the Usos had to bail him out again.

If Reigns was as tough as he says he is, he would have fought one on one at the Royal Rumble. Then Corbin would have won and been the one headlining Wrestlemania. Corbin demands one more match with Reigns and pours a drink over a fan’s head. Cue Reigns with a Superman Punch and Corbin runs off. Reigns accepts the match and they’ll do it in a steel cage at some point. Reigns makes sure to talk to the fan who got the drink on his head.

Goldberg joins us live via satellite from Texas and gets straight to the point: he watched the Royal Rumble and it gave him the itch again. Brock Lesnar is already dealing with Ricochet and Drew McIntyre, but what about the Fiend and the Universal Title? He never got a rematch, so here’s some Breaking News from Firefly Fun House News. William Goldberg is considering challenging the Fiend and that’s bad news for Billy, because he accepts.

Mercy the Buzzard gives us the weather report: it’s going to be a cold day in h*** before the Fiend loses the Universal Title. Goldberg says he won’t be intimidated and the only thing he’s taking is the Universal Title. The Fiend is next and the fans like that idea. Goldberg leaves and Bray says that wasn’t very nice. Let him in. Bray: “Bye! See you Bill! Bye!”

Daniel Bryan is watching in the back when Heath Slater comes in. Slater recaps the Fiend going after Bryan….or maybe it was Miz. Heath reminds Bryan about the beating that he got from the Fiend and rambles on about how evil Fiend is. Bryan offers to face Slater right now and walks off, leaving Heath rather confused.

Video on Bryan vs. Fiend at the Rumble.

Daniel Bryan vs. Heath Slater

Slater is in street clothes. Running knee, suicide dive, missile dropkick, YES Kicks, another running knee, stomps to the head and the LeBell Lock for the win at 1:47. More of an angle of Bryan being more aggressive than the match. Commentary played up the idea of the Fiend changing Bryan.

We look at Braun Strowman winning the Intercontinental Title.

Here’s Strowman for his first comments as champion. He can’t believe this is happening because after everything he has done, he has never won a singles title. Cue Sami Zayn and Shinsuke Nakamura to demand a rematch, Strowman says they’re on but that’s not what Sami means. They’re going to use their resources for as long as they can, so here is the Revival to jump Strowman from behind. The beatdown is on but Strowman fights them off with ease but he spends too much time going after Sami, allowing Nakamura to hit Kinshasa.

Tucker helps Otis get ready for his date with Mandy Rose, including exercise (situps into a bite of pizza), clothing advise (suit jacket with the sleeves ripped off) and table manners, which results in the table being turned over. Tucker: “You’re ready.”

Apollo Crews vs. Sheamus

Crews starts fast with the kicks to the head, only to miss a charge and get Brogue Kicked for the pin at 29 seconds. That’s how it should have gone.

Post match Sheamus loads up another Brogue Kick so here’s Shorty G. for the save. In this case, that means some chops before Sheamus Brogue Kicks him again. See, they needed Gable to get beaten up three times in a row because he’s short and Sheamus is big and WWE doesn’t want to leave ANY doubt about who is better.

Super Showdown rundown, with Reigns vs. Corbin added to the card.

Dana Brooke vs. Carmella vs. Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss

One fall to a finish and the winner gets a shot at Bayley (ringside). Only Naomi gets an entrance and they start fast with a series of rollups, followed by Carmella being taken into the corner. Dana hits the handspring elbow and everyone goes to the floor, leaving Naomi to hit a corkscrew dive. Bayley holds up the title so Naomi shoves her down to trigger a brawl with Naomi being sent into the steps.

Back from a break with Naomi fighting back up and cleaning house, much to Bayley’s annoyance. Bliss is back in to take Naomi down, leaving Carmella to hit the Bronco Buster on Brooke. Naomi is back up with the split legged moonsault as Dana has to make a save. Brooke tries a wheelbarrow to Naomi but gets caught with a Stunner for two.

Naomi’s legdrop gets two on Bliss but she shoves Naomi off the top for two of her own. Brooke gets back on the apron so Naomi suplexes her in and hits the split legdrop for another near fall. Bliss sends Naomi into the corner but Twisted Bliss hits knees. The Rear View hits Bliss but Carmella is back in with a superkick to finish Naomi at 11:43.

Rating: D+. Is this Graves’ February bonus or something? They did a good job of setting up Naomi as the obvious winner before pulling the surprise….but Carmella? Naomi was set up as the next challenger to Bayley last week and now it’s just Carmella due to reasons of surprise. The match was your usual two in, two out for the most part and that has been played out for years. Carmella is the bigger deal here as she may be a fresh challenger, but she isn’t the most logical one.

Bayley jumps Carmella to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was a weird one as I didn’t mind a lot of it but by the ending I was wondering what was supposed to have been good on the show. Goldberg vs. Fiend is interesting for a short, one off match but other than that, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to cheer for. More Reigns vs. Corbin? Carmella getting a surprise title shot? An Elias match? The Dirt Sheet was the highlight of the show and then they were just gone for the sake of Roode and Ziggler. This wasn’t a good show and I kept waiting on the good moment that never came. Hopefully they fix this soon because it didn’t make me want to watch next week.

Results

Usos b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Superfly Splash to Roode

Elias b. Cesaro – Top rope elbow

Daniel Bryan b. Heath Slater – LeBell Lock

Sheamus b. Apollo Crews – Brogue Kick

Carmella b. Naomi, Alexa Bliss and Dana Brooke – Superkick to Naomi

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – January 31, 2020: Let Them Eat

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 31, 2020
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re done with the Royal Rumble and since Drew McIntyre won, we need a new #1 contender to the Smackdown World Title. Granted that probably won’t be happening until Elimination Chamber or whatever else is next, but you can almost pencil in Roman Reigns vs. King Corbin in some form for the title shot. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are Roman Reigns and the Usos to open things up. Reigns is happy to have beaten King Corbin but he’s not happy with losing the Royal Rumble. They’ll regroup tonight against…well these three as Corbin, Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode interrupt. Corbin talks about how the Usos are the reason he didn’t win the Royal Rumble. The Usos talk about beating the three of them up over and over so Corbin brings up their suspension.

We see the dog food incident again, with Cole saying we’ve seen this “ad nauseum”, as even WWE admits that this feud has gone on WAY too far. Reigns accuses Corbin of having a dog food fetish and offers a stipulation: the loser of the main event eats dog food. A bunch of dog food is wheeled out and Cole suddenly finds the possibility of Corbin eating dog food to be HILARIOUS. It’s almost like he’s suddenly 74 year old man child who is entertained by juvenile ideas.

Heavy Machinery vs. Lucha House Party vs. Miz/John Morrison vs. Revival

The winners get a Tag Team Title shot at Super Showdown and Kalisto is the odd luchador out. Tucker bearhugs Wilder to start and it’s quickly off to Otis, so Tucker throws Wilder to him as the bearhugging continues. That’s broken up and it’s Morrison coming in to get caught with a springboard hurricanrana from Metalik. Revival breaks up a sunset flip for two as everything breaks down.

Heavy Machinery is sent outside for double dives from the House Party, followed by Morrison hitting a huge top rope corkscrew dive. Miz teases his own dive but Dawson cuts them off, allowing Metalik to hit his own dive as we take a break. Back with Dorado hitting a double Golden Rewind on Miz and Morrison and everything breaks down again. Otis hits a double Caterpillar on Miz and Morrison for two but Dawson knocks Otis into a tag from Metalik.

A springboard crossbody from Metalik sets up a top rope splash from Dorado but Otis comes back in to clean house. Dawson DDTs Otis but Dorado slips out of a slingshot suplex. Back to back moonsaults connect but the third is cut off, setting up Wilder’s belly to back superplex on Kalisto. Miz sneaks back in with the Skull Crushing Finale into Starship Pain to Dawson for the pin and the title shot at 11:57.

Rating: C+. They didn’t bother with anything but action here and that made for an entertaining match. There was no reason to do anything more than go all the way with something like this and we even got the logical challengers out of it. The match was fun and that’s as good as they could have done.

Fire & Desire come up to Heavy Machinery with Mandy thanking Otis for his help in the Royal Rumble. Tucker tells him to go for it so Otis admits that he likes Mandy and asks her on a date for next Friday. She has plans on Friday, but she doesn’t have any two Fridays from now. As in Valentine’s Day.

Video on Daniel Bryan vs. the Fiend in the strap match. Daniel Bryan thinks he might have gone too far because his wife wouldn’t let his daughter see the scars on his back.

Video on Halftime Heat, twenty one years ago today.

Fire & Desire vs. Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross

The winners COULD get a future title shot. It’s a brawl before the bell with Sonya getting tied in the ring skirt and Nikki having to be dragged off. Bliss gets knocked into the announcers’ table but says she’s good so the bell can ring. The chinlock goes on before it’s off to Mandy, with Nikki having to be taken out. Bliss forearms her way out of the corner and gets in a hard shot to Sonya. A roll underneath Mandy is enough for the hot tag to Nikki so house can be cleaned. Everything breaks down and the Purge into Twisted Bliss finishes Mandy at 3:28.

Rating: D+. The usual shortened women’s tag here which had little going for it as commentary talked about Otis and Mandy. Therefore, of course it makes sense for Mandy to take the fall here. The two stories aren’t connected, but Mandy is the only one of the four doing something interesting and it’s not like her getting pinned advances anything else. It’s a little thing but why mess with a story that is getting somewhere?

Intercontinental Title: Braun Strowman vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura is defending and has Sami Zayn and Cesaro with him. Strowman shoulders him down to start and hits a running splash in the corner to make it even worse. Sami gets in a cheap shot from the floor though and Nakamura takes over with a front facelock. Some kicks in the corner have Strowman rocked so he blasts his way out with a clothesline.

The running shoulder on the floor has Nakamura down again but Strowman misses a charge. Nakamura kicks him in the head and hits the running knee to the back of the head for two. Sami goes for the turnbuckle pad and Cesaro offers a distraction, only to have Strowman send Nakamura into the buckle instead. The running powerslam gives us a new champion at 4:35.

Rating: D+. It took long enough. Strowman winning a title does feel like a big deal and even though it should have been the World Title and over a year ago, I’ll take what I can get. This actually came off as something important and the fans seemed happy with what they saw. Not much of a match, but Nakamura had held the thing since July and not done a thing with it. I can’t imagine that changes under Strowman, but at least he FINALLY won something that matters.

Post break Sami is livid but Elias is in the ring to interrupt them. Sami tries to rant but Elias keeps interrupting with the guitar. That’s enough as Sami sends Cesaro to the ring to deal with this. Elias beats Cesaro up and stands tall.

Video on Shorty G. vs. Sheamus.

Sheamus vs. Shorty G.

Gable jumps Sheamus from behind on the ramp and we take a break before the bell. We’re joined in progress with Gable fighting out of a chinlock but getting taken to the floor for the Regal Roll. Back in and Sheamus hits a reverse Wasteland but Gable ties him in the ropes and slugs away. The Liger kick in the corner sets up the moonsault for two but Sheamus is right back up. The Irish Curse into the Brogue Kick finishes at 3:49.

Rating: C. Just in case you didn’t get the point on the Kickoff Show. This was the same result as Gable tries hard but can’t overcome the size difference, because we need to hammer home the one thing that the company sees in him. Why or how this is the best thing they can do with him is beyond me but I guess we’re just lucky that way.

Here’s a very happy Bayley to brag about retaining the Women’s Title at the Royal Rumble. You can’t recreate her and she crushed Lacey Evans’ dreams for injuring Sasha Banks and putting her on the shelf. Bayley did all this with Lacey’s daughter Summer in the front row so now she knows what a failure her mom is. If Summer needs a role model, she can sit in the crowd with these idiots and watch Bayley. We all know Charlotte is going to pick her for the title match so just get out here right now.

Cue Naomi instead (now with what looks like a light up bowl around her head during her entrance) to say she can’t help but hear the trash talk around here. Bayley has never beaten her and that title could use some glow. Before the challenge can be on, Bayley drops her with one shot. The belt shot misses though and Naomi hits a springboard kick to the head. This is a fresh challenger with some credibility so good for them.

Usos/Roman Reigns vs. King Corbin/Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler

The losers must eat DOG FOOD, which Cole has repeated about 37 times tonight. Corbin punches Jey down for an early two and a low bridge puts Jey on the floor. Roode, now in long tights, hits a spinebuster on the floor as Cole puts over how bad the dog food smells. We take a break and come back with Roode cranking on Jey’s arms. Jey slips out so Ziggler comes in, only to miss a Stinger Splash in the corner.

Corbin gets the tag and breaks up the hot tag though, allowing him to make Jey look at the dog food. That’s enough to make Jey get over for the hot tag to Reigns as everything breaks down. A big boot connects for Reigns but Corbin is back with a chokeslam for two. Ziggler adds a superkick and it’s the Deep Six for two more on Reigns. Jimmy is back in and sends Roode over the announcers’ table, setting up another dive to Ziggler. Reigns misses the spear but rolls Corbin up for the pin at 9:56.

Rating: C-. Yeah it’s another watchable match but it’s everything else that is making it bad. Between Cole shouting about the dog food over and over and over again and the fact that we’ve seen these people fight for months now and how this was nothing new as far as a six man formula goes, this wasn’t exactly thrilling. It’s fine for a house show stipulation where the kids can laugh, but when you have to hear about it all night long, it’s way too much.

Post match Corbin tries to leave but he gets speared down and handcuffed, meaning he gets chained up like he did to Reigns months ago. The buckets of dog food are poured over him so Reigns and the Usos can pose to end the show. It’s a poetic way to go about things with Corbin, but the feud has gone on for so long now that the impact is really, really weakened. Also it’s not exactly brilliant, cutting edge stuff in the first place.

Overall Rating: D+. So that’s how we start up the Road to Wrestlemania: building to Super Showdown, a Valentine’s Day comedy angle, a Royal Rumble rematch and dog food (plus a title change and a new challenger for the Women’s Title as it did have some good stuff). This could have been a show from any time during the year and I’m not exactly thrilled with how the important season started off. There were some positives here but the negatives were more as it didn’t exactly feel inspired.

Results

Miz/John Morrison b. Heavy Machinery, Revival and Lucha House Party – Starship Pain to Dawson

Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross b. Fire & Desire – Twisted Bliss to Rose

Braun Strowman b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Running powerslam

Sheamus b. Shorty G. – Brogue Kick

Roman Reigns/Usos b. King Corbin/Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler – Rollup to Corbin

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – January 24, 2020: It’s Not That Important

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 24, 2020
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that means we need the final push towards Houston. The men’s Royal Rumble is probably as set as we are going to get in advance but there are only give names announced for the women’s match. It’s hard to imagine not getting some names announced tonight and that is long overdue. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Usos/Roman Reigns vs. King Corbin/Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler

At least they’re getting it out of the way early. The Usos elbow Ziggler down and drop more elbows for a bonus, meaning it’s already off to Roode. Everything breaks down with Roode backdropping Jimmy to the floor and Ziggler sending him hard into the steps. It’s a knee injury and that means we’re going to be having a handicap match. Back with Jey coming in and being dragged into the wrong corner.

Jey slugs away on Corbin but walks into a heck of a Deep Six for two. Roode’s neckbreaker is good for the same and Ziggler gets in his big jumping elbow. The spinning enziguri drops Roode but Corbin pulls Reigns to the floor to break up the hot tag attempt. To make it even worse, Reigns is sent into the barricade a few times and we take a second break. Back with Jey still in trouble until he sends Corbin hard into the post.

The hot tag brings in Reigns to beat up Ziggler with the raw power as everyone else is knocked to the floor. Roode offers a distraction though and Corbin breaks up the spear, allowing Ziggler to hit a superkick for two. Reigns gets sent outside for the stomping and Ziggler drops another elbow for two more. Corbin comes back in and hammers away with right hands but the Glorious DDT (you knew that’s what it was going for as Roode shouted GLORIOUS and tried a DDT) is countered with a slam.

Ziggler pulls Jey off the apron though and sends him into the barricade, just like they did to Reigns earlier. The superkick is broken up with a Superman punch and here’s Jimmy back to ringside to get the hot tag. The knee is fine enough for the fired up comeback, including a high crossbody for two on Roode with Corbin making the save. Corbin gets Superman punched and Reigns throws him into the crowd. Jey dives onto Ziggler and Jimmy hits the Superfly Splash for the pin at 25:01.

Rating: C. I’d love for WWE to explain what they see in this feud to give it twenty five minutes to open the show, especially when Corbin vs. Reigns is likely to get nearly that much time on Sunday. The feud isn’t that interesting and odds are we’ll be seeing Roode/Ziggler vs. Usos added to Sunday as well. WAY too long here and they really could have cut ten minutes out and had a better match.

Video on Bayley vs. Lacey Evans.

Here’s Lacey for a chat. She has fought back against Bayley and Sasha Banks because she doesn’t put up with bullies. Her upbringing wasn’t all that great and her father lost his battle with addiction. Lacey wants to use her platform to show that you play the hand you’re dealt and you can make it. She’s worked hard to be a mom and a Marine and we see a clip of Banks mocking Lacey’s family. It’s hard to be a mother when your daughter is scared by two bullies….and here’s Bayley to jump her from behind. Bayley: “WHERE’S YOUR DAUGHTER NOW???”

Carmella and Dana Brooke are ready to win the Royal Rumble. We pan over to Lacey throwing Bayley into things so Dana and Carmella run over in a failed attempt to break it up.

Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross vs. Fire & Desire

Sonya and Mandy are in the Rumble too. They seemed to make up earlier in the day. Lacey Evans and Bayley brawl to the ring and it’s a double DQ at 21 seconds.

The fight continues…and we don’t have time for that because we need to go backstage.

Elias is strumming his guitar when Braun Strowman comes in to say they need to go to work.

Here’s Elias to sing his new song, Texas Dream, which is a short one about the Rumble and a way to introduce Strowman. Before we get to the match, Elias asks the fans if they want to see Strowman sing with him. They start things up but here’s the interruption for, you know, some wrestling.

Elias/Braun Strowman vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Cesaro

Sami Zayn is out with Nakamura and Cesaro. Elias gets uppercutted to start but he sends Cesaro face first into the turnbuckle to get out of trouble. A Nakamura distraction gets Elias in trouble but Strowman runs people over as we take a break. Back with Elias in trouble but Kinshasa is broken up with a jumping knee to the face.

That’s enough for the hot tag to Strowman so house can be cleaned, including the big forearm to Nakamura’s chest. Nakamura comes back with the middle rope knee to the chest and Strowman is sent shoulder first into the post. Cesaro comes in but Sami’s distraction doesn’t work. The running powerslam plants Cesaro and Elias’ top rope elbow gets the pin at 8:31.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here, almost in the vein of a house show actually. I’m a little surprised, as well as a bit relieved, that Strowman didn’t pin Nakamura again. They still haven’t announced the title match for Sunday so maybe they’ll wait a little longer before setting that up. Nakamura has held the title for a long time now and I’m curious to see how long he can keep going as champion.

We look back at Daniel Bryan challenging the Fiend to a strap match at the Rumble.

Big E. is VERY oiled up, which is his strategy to avoid being eliminated from the Royal Rumble. Kofi Kingston comes in and is ready for John Morrison tonight. They’re ready to go on to Houston for the Royal Rumble and this year it’s for Xavier Woods.

We look back at the opening match.

Corbin doesn’t like being asked questions.

Rumble By The Numbers time!

1070 total competitors

6,596 feet in height

1:16:06 Bryan lasted in 2018

56:01 Natalya lasted in 2019

1 second for Santino Marella

2003 Royal Rumble won by Brock Lesnar

7 people have won two Royal Rumbles

3 Royal Rumbles won by Steve Austin

2 others have won from #1

64,000,000 views of Royal Rumble videos since the Network launched

3 brands

2 Royal Rumbles

1 night

Note that they mentioned this being the 33rd Royal Rumble, though they now included the Greatest Royal Rumble in the record books.

Sheamus is ready for Shorty G.

Kofi Kingston vs. John Morrison

Before the match, Miz talks about how he’s the same person who lets you into his home every week on Miz and Mrs. Oh and he and Morrison are now in the Royal Rumble. They’re not exactly leaving many spots left. Morrison dodges away from Kofi to start so Kofi lands on his feet out of a monkey flip. Kofi’s monkey flip sends Morrison face first onto the mat and Morrison misses a dive over the top to crash on the floor. Kofi adds a flip dive so Miz is right over there for some applause.

Back from a break with Kofi kicking Morrison in the face and sliding through the legs, only to get kneed hard. Kofi is right back with a faceplant for two but Trouble In Paradise is kicked out of the air. The referee gets distracted for a bit so it’s a poke to the eye, setting up a middle rope Spanish Fly for a close two on Kofi. The SOS gives Kofi his own two but Big E. and Miz get into it on the floor. Kofi kicks Miz off the apron but gets knocked down, setting up Starship Pain (best one Morrison has hit in forever, and this time he jumped up instead of pulling himself up) for the pin on Kofi at 9:55.

Rating: C+. There was some good action in here and the ending should set up a Tag Team Title shot, in case they hadn’t done enough to get that ready yet. I’m not sure when they’ll do that match as the Rumble card is already loaded, but that has never stopped them before. Miz and Morrison still work well together though and that’s what matters.

It’s time for the contract signing for the strap match. Bray’s music hits but he comes up on screen instead, trying to fax in the contract from the Firefly Fun House. That might be better for everyone though because there is no reason to tie yourself to the Fiend. Bray tries to call customer service (Bray: “Yes. English or ancient Sumerian please.”) but Bryan wants him out here right now.

That isn’t happening due to Bray’s lawyer (Mercy the Buzzard) advising against it, so Bryan says he’s seeing through Bray. Bray hears Bryan mention a mistake and that is the Word of the Day. This is all about Bryan’s big mistake when he betrayed Wyatt and now it is time to pay. Since Bryan isn’t competing against Bray on Sunday, it’s only fitting that He sign the contract.

Cole bails as the lights go out and the Fiend is in the ring, holding the strap. Bryan goes after him and is Mandible Clawed in a hurry. Sister Abigail plants Bryan and Fiend rips off Bryan’s shirt for a whipping with the strap. Fiend sits down at the table and grabs the pen, which he stabs into his own hand. He rubs the blood over the contract and throws it at Bryan, which counts as signing (I don’t think evil monsters are that well versed in law). The lights go out and Fiend disappears to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Pretty meh show overall but it did a decent enough job of setting up Sunday. If nothing else it was nice to nearly double the amount of names in the women’s Royal Rumble. The wrestling was pretty lacking but that’s not usually the point on a show like this. Sunday is all that matters anyway and no one is going to remember this one after that anyway. Not much to see this week, but it’s one of the least important shows of the year anyway.

Results

Usos/Roman Reigns b. King Corbin/Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Superfly Splash to Roode

Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross vs. Fire & Desire went to a double DQ when Bayley and Lacey Evans interfered

Braun Strowman/Elias b. Cesaro/Shinsuke Nakamura – Top rope elbow

John Morrison b. Kofi Kingston – Starship Pain

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author- page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2012 (2013 Redo): Gotcha!

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

We wrap things up here with last year’s show. The Rumble is back to the thirty entrant variety which is probably the best move all around. The odds on favorite is Jericho who returned very recently before this show. Other than that we’ve got Daniel Bryan defending his newly won world title against Big Show and Henry in a cage, along with Punk defending against Ziggler. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about going to Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry

Bryan is champion and beat Show at TLC by cashing in his MITB case in 45 seconds. Show beat Henry at the same show and ran over Bryan’s girlfriend AJ on Raw to set all this up. This is one fall to a finish and it’s pin/submission/escape. Bryan immediately goes for the corner but Henry pulls him down and Show runs Bryan over for two. Show crushes Henry against the cage wall but has to stop to pull Bryan back inside. Bryan tries to run up again but Show catches him by the ankle and slams him back in.

Show loads up the WMD but hits the cage wall instead. The champion fires off some kicks but gets headbutted right back down. Bryan kicks the knee out even harder and fires off some kicks to Henry to keep the other monster down. He goes for the door but you know this isn’t ending that quickly. Henry makes the stop and demands that the referee CLOSE THAT DOOR. Show superkicks Henry down and it’s his turn to take over for awhile.

Bryan gets slammed down but Henry is back up again. A few punches put Show down because a dozen chair shots usually can’t, but a few punches can. Actually that’s a great way to keep Henry looking strong. The fans are cheering for Bryan as Henry and Show collide to put all three guys down. Show gets back up and clotheslines Bryan down a few times before superkicking him in the face. The chokeslam is countered and Bryan hits a tornado DDT on Show for two.

The LeBell (NO!) Lock is put on Show but Henry breaks it up in about a second. The WMD gets two on Henry but Bryan makes the save, which ticks Show off. Bryan SPRINTS up the cage but Show chases after him and grabs Bryan before he can get out. Bryan sits on the top of the cage and pounds away, only to be caught again. The champion is literally hanging from Show’s wrist before finally letting go and falling to the floor to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This really wasn’t all that great. At the end of the day, it was a lot of the same sequence over and over again with Show and Henry not having a ton of interaction at all. The ending didn’t look great either and I’m not sure why Show would just hold him out over the floor like that. This falls under the category of “…..really?” as it’s hard to buy Bryan keeping the belt here.

Long video on Cena and all the stuff he does for WWE. The man is insanely committed to that company.

Divas of Doom/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Kelly Kelly

The Divas of Doom are Beth and Natalya. Natalya and Tamina start things off and they collide a few times. Tamina slaps her in the face before chopping Nattie down for two. Off to Eve for that bouncing moonsault for two. Since that’s a pretty lame move, Natalya charges her into the corner and brings in Beth who blocks a rolling splash with knees to Eve’s back.

Off to let’s say Nikki for some basic stomps to the back and a quickly broken chinlock. Jerry is asked what he likes about the Bellas and he can’t even get an answer out. Not hot tag brings in Alicia who is immediately sent into the corner and chinlocked as well. Alicia finally counters by flipping Nikki forward and makes the actual hot tag to Kelly. There’s the screaming headscissors and a faceplant for two. Everything breaks down and almost everyone heads to the floor, where Kelly hits a HUGE dive to take everyone out. Back in and Beth SLAPS herself in to hit the Glam Slam on Kelly for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Divas match: they did their “sexy” spots, they had barely there outfits, Kelly screamed a lot, Beth beat up Kelly to end things. One interesting note from a year later: would they even be able to put together an eight Divas tag now? I’m thinking through the roster and I don’t know if I can name eight girls on the main shows right now.

We recap Ryder getting hurt at the hands of Kane. This was during the period where Ryder went from one of the hottest things in the company and US Champion to a rag doll that Kane destroyed over and over and over in the span of a few weeks until his push was completely destroyed. Eve blamed Cena for Ryder having his back broken for some reason.

Ryder is wheeled in and patronized by Johnny Ace (remember him?). Ace has a private room set up for Ryder but Eve comes up to yell at Ace first. Not much here but it’s setting up stuff later on tonight.

Kane vs. John Cena

This is when Kane had the welder’s mask look. Brawl to start with Kane beating Cena down into the corner as the fans are split on Johnny. A clothesline puts them both on the floor where Kane is sent knees first into the steps. Back in and Cena can’t hit the AA on Kane. That makes sense as after all, Kane is probably 175lbs lighter than Show who Cena throws around with near ease most of the time.

Kane kicks Cena down and gets two off an uppercut. A suplex gets the same and it’s off to a chinlock. Cena fights up and is sent into the buckle for his efforts followed by Kane’s stupid smother hold. John tries to counter into a Crossface but Kane comes out with a side slam. The idea here is that Cena can’t get anything going at all. The top rope clothesline takes Cena’s head off but Cena pops up and hits his shoulder block.

The Shuffle is countered by a grab of Cena’s throat and a big boot gets two. Cena blocks a superplex and hits the Shuffle off the top. That’s certainly a new one. The AA is countered by an elbow to the face and Kane kicks Cena out to the floor. Booker talks about how Cena is a good kid. I don’t think I ever recall Cena being called a kid since like 2004. Kane pounds on Cena in the aisle and that’s a double countout so we can do this match again next month.

Rating: D+. I know that’s a common theme tonight but it fits here again. These two didn’t work all that well together and the story was even worse. Then again, this was nothing more than giving Cena something to do for a few months until he could get ready for the biggest match of his career. This didn’t work for the most part.

The fight continues into the back where Kane finds a chair to lay to lay out Cena. To the shock of no one paying attention, Kane finds the door to Ryder’s private room and kicks the door in. Ryder is taken to the ring and tombstoned as Eve screams. Cena comes out to try to save Eve but gets chokeslammed by Kane who walks away. Ryder does a stretcher job, but somehow it would get even worse for him in the coming weeks.

BE A STAR!

Zack is wheeled out and Cena is booed for it. That’s the part of this story that never held up for me: why is this Cena’s responsibility? Ryder was the United States Champion. He should be able to defend himself.

We get a video on the Rock just like Cena got earlier. It’s shot in the back of Rock’s car and is more like a mini documentary. It focuses on how insane Rock’s life is and all of the stuff he does around the world.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

This is right after Brodus redebuted as the Funkasaurus so he was still a new character at this point. Brodus dances a lot, Drew punches him in the corner, Brodus headbutts him and hits the cross body (called WHAT THE FUNK) for the pin in about a minute.

Buy Slim Jims! For the troops!

We recap Punk vs. Ziggler who is challenging Punk on Ace’s behalf. This is during the “Ace is boring” phase where Punk made fun of him no matter what he did, so Ace helped Ziggler get a win over Punk to earn a title shot. Ace is also guest referee tonight just because. He’s openly admitted he’s going to screw Punk out of the title tonight, so HHH is going to evaluate his job status the next night on Raw, meaning Ace has to play nice.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Punk is defending and Ace is referee. Johnny Ace is John Laurinitis but that’s a hard name to spell. Before the match, Ace says he’ll be the outside referee. Ok then. Wait we’re still not ready to go as Ace throws Vickie out as well. We finally get going and Ziggler tries a quick Fameasser which is countered into a failed GTS attempt. Punk tells Dolph it was that close. They feel each other out a bit longer until Ziggler starts strutting.

Punk finally gets his hands on Ziggler and puts on an abdominal stretch, complete with a wrapped toe and slicking back his hair ala Ziggler. Dolph heads to the floor and gets taken out by a suicide dive but shoves Punk off the top rope once they get back inside. Ziggler drops about eight elbows in a row and a jumping version gets two. We hit the chinlock with Ziggler cranking on the head way more than necessary.

The champ starts firing off chops and strikes before getting caught in the sleeper. That goes nowhere but neither does Punk’s Anaconda Vice attempt. Back to the sleeper but Dolph can’t get it on all the way. Instead there’s a perfect dropkick for two on Punk but the Fameasser is countered into a helicopter bomb for two. A swinging neckbreaker by the champ puts Dolph into the corner where the knee/bulldog combination actually works.

The GTS is countered into a slingshot but Punk lands on the middle rope. He comes off with a spinning cross body but Ziggler rolls through for a near fall in a cool sequence. The high kick gets two for Punk as does the Macho Elbow, drawing a Randy Savage chant. The GTS is countered again and the referee goes down as per the requirement in a world title mach. Punk hooks the Vice but Ace is checking on the down referee. Then Punk gets a rollup and there’s STILL no referee.

Ace sends the referee back in as Punk loads up the GTS, but Ziggler’s legs knock Ace to the floor. Ace sees the pin but refuses to count because he thinks Punk did it on purpose. Ziggler counters another GTS attempt into the Fameasser for two before pounding away a bit. The champ comes back with a slingshot and the GTS gets a pin from both referees to retain the title.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going as we were all waiting on the Ace stuff. The feud would go on for weeks until Jericho finally showed up to give Punk someone with charisma to feud with. The near falls at the end were a lot better than Ace, but it occurs to me that this was pretty much the same match he had last year. Good stuff though.

Rumble by the Numbers:

30 Superstars

1 winner

31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble

21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania

695 entrants who have been eliminated

39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)

13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane

11 eliminations for Kane in 2001

194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show

421,883 people who have attended the Rumble

62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record

3 wins for Austin

1 second that Santino lasted in 2009

2 women who have competed in the Rumble

1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each

27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four

55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

The Miz is #1 and talks about how he’s going back to the main event of Wrestlemania this year. His former apprentice Alex Riley is #2 which isn’t really surprising given how RANDOM these draws are. I always liked Riley and he always got a good reaction, which is clearly why he doesn’t get on TV more. Riley pounds away to start and runs Miz over with a forearm but walks into a big boot. Maybe it’s the old school fan in me but I don’t like a 6’0 guy using a big boot. Miz talks trash and low bridges Riley out with ease.

R-Truth, Miz’s former partner, is #3. Truth fires off some kicks and avoids the Finale before hitting a kind of powerslam. Miz gets sent to the apron for the second time but Truth turns his back to watch Cody come out at #4. A quick Disaster Kick puts Truth down (Cole says it hits Miz because those two are so hard to tell apart) and Truth gets double teamed for awhile. He manages to send Cody to the apron but gets caught in the Reality Check as the clock seems to be speeding up.

Justin Gabriel is #5 and things speed WAY up. A big spinwheel kick puts Miz down before Cody goes nuts on Gabriel in the corner. Primo is #6 to keep things low key to start. Actually he speeds things up as well and hits a sweet headscissors out of the corner to take Gabriel down. Truth hits the spinning forearm on Cody, only to be dumped out by Miz a second later. Since he’s still crazy, Truth pulls Miz to the floor and lays him out on the outside.

Mick Foley is #7 to fire up the crowd a little bit. He dumps Primo almost immediately before getting beaten on by Cody. Foley looks really old and slow here but to be fair, he is in fact old and slow. In a HILARIOUS bit, Ricardo Rodriguez is #8 but comes out in an old banged up, rusted out rental car. He’s even got the Del Rio scarf to hide some of his hideous pale body. We get a HUGE Ricardo chant as Foley and Gabriel have no idea what to do here.

Ricardo takes Cody down and pounds away before proposing an alliance with Foley of all people. They actually do team up and toss Gabriel, allowing Ricardo to do a CM Punk knee slide. We keep the comedy going with Santino at #9 and Ricardo runs from the Cobra. Santino beats on Ricardo and literally rolls him around the ring before pulling his trunks up and tossing Rodriguez.

Now we get my favorite spot of the match as Santino puts on the Cobra and Mick puts on Socko and it’s TIME FOR A DUEL!!! Before they can collide though it’s Epico at #10 but he falls to the powers of the socks and is out almost immediately. The socks COLLIDE until Miz and Cody pop back in (neither was eliminated) and dump Santino. Miz gets Socko but Cody dumps Mick. Fun comedy bit here to give us a good first act to the match.

Kofi Kingston is #11 and hits a double springboard clothesline before hitting a double Boom Drop. In at #12 is Jerry Lawler (Cole: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”) and he causes Miz to hit Cody by mistake. Lawler speeds things up and hits the middle rope punch with the lowered strap, only to be put out by Cody. Ezekiel Jackson is #13 and gets to do the usual power moves on each guy while the others lay around.

Jinder Mahal is #14 and the fans start chanting USA, even though the only two Americans in this match are Rhodes and Miz. Great Khali comes in at #15 and Mahal panics. Everyone gets chops and Mahal is out in just a few seconds. Jackson tries to pound away and is put out almost immediately as well. Hunico is #16 on that stupid bicycle of his and hits a spinning cross body on Miz and his Angle Slam on Cody.

Khali chops Hunico down as the ring is staying relatively empty. Booker T is #17 to surprise Cole. You would think he would have noticed that the man sitting next to him for over two hours wasn’t wearing pants but he never was considered that bright. Now we get the spot of the match as Miz shoves Kofi to the floor but Kofi holds himself up by his hands. Miz shoves Kofi into a handstand but Kingston WALKS ON HIS HANDS ACROSS THE FLOOR TO THE STEPS to get back in. FREAKING AWESOME MAN!

Dolph Ziggler is #18 as the ring is starting to get full. Hacksaw Jim Duggan makes his annual return at #19 to pop the crowd huge. He cleans house for a bit and we get a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER on Miz and Rhodes. Cody avoids a charge in the corner though and dumps Duggan in less than a minute. That’s the best idea at the end of the day. Miz and Cody team up to put out Booker and Khali at the same time.

We complete the trio with Michael Cole at #20. At the moment we’ve got Cole, Miz, Rhodes, Kingston, Hunico and Ziggler in the ring. Kharma returns at #21 in her only WWE match ever. She hits Cole so hard she knocks his headgear off so Cole eliminates himself. Well he gets to the apron where King and Booker eliminate him. Ziggler tells Kharma to get out so she DRILLS him. Kharma dumps Hunico but Ziggler sneaks up and eliminates her (Booker calls this doing the impossible. Not really Book.) to a ton of heat.

Sheamus is #22 to give us some A level star power. Well maybe B+ level. Things speed up with Sheamus destroying everyone and tossing Kofi out. There are the ten forearms in the ropes to Cody and ten to Miz as well. The Zig Zag is countered and Road Dogg is another surprise return at #23. He gets to clean house for a bit and earns a “you still got it” chant. In far less than 90 seconds, Jey Uso is #24.

Everyone pairs off until Jack Swagger is #25. After a few suplexes everything settles down into its usual brawling phase until Barrett is #26. He throws out Roadie and stomps away on a lot of people. David Otunga gets the lucky spot at #27 and poses a lot before he comes out. Not a lot happens so Orton comes in at #28 to pick things up a bit. Remember we’re in his hometown so everyone goes nuts.

Cody breaks up the RKO on Barrett so Randy hits the Elevated DDT on both Cody and Ziggler at the same time because he can. There’s an RKO to Barrett and he’s out. Chris Jericho, complete with a blackout of the arena, makes his return at #29. He’s still a face at this point and dumps Otunga to a good reaction. Big Show is #30 which was considered a letdown at the time. Dude, he was world champion a month ago. That’s hardly Darren Young coming out.

As Show comes in he pulls Swagger out from the floor, giving us a final grouping of Miz, Rhodes, Ziggler, Sheamus, Orton, Jericho and Big Show. That’s a pretty solid grouping. Show dumps Cody and Miz at the same time to get us down to five. Show tosses Ziggler as well to get us down to four. The big man cleans house but walks into an RKO, allowing Orton and Sheamus to pick him up and Randy clotheslines him out. Jericho dumps Orton immediately thereafter and we’re down to two.

The fans are entirely behind Jericho here so Sheamus runs him over a few times. Jericho’s bulldog is countered but Sheamus can’t throw him over the corner. Jericho charges into the Irish Curse but Sheamus can’t hit the High Cross. We get a great false finish with Jericho clotheslining Sheamus to the apron and then knocking him down to the point where Sheamus is hanging on by his leg. Sheamus comes back in with the slingshot shoulder but the Brogue Kick is countered into the Walls.

After the hold is broken Jericho gets knocked to the apron where he BARELY hangs on. They go to the top rope and both fall to the apron, meaning if they hit the floor they’re out. Both guys get back in and there’s the Codebreaker to Sheamus. Jericho gets Sheamus upside down but can’t get him out. A shot to the face ticks Sheamus off and he catches a Codebreaker attempt to put Jericho on the apron. The Brogue Kick sends Sheamus to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This is one of those Rumbles that is great fun as you watch it live but it loses some steam on a second viewing. They spent a bit too much time on nostalgia and funny ideas here but they were still really good ideas. The ending with Sheamus and Jericho ROCKED and I have no idea why they never got to have a long PPV match. This is a really good Rumble but it never reaches that excellent level that some of them get to.

Sheamus celebrates a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is a unique show as it has a way to save itself from a bad first half. That’s what happened here as the last two matches were certainly good enough to save it from the horrible first few matches. As usual the last two guys would both get world title shots with the winner getting the opening match instead of the real main event, but going on before Rock vs. Cena is hardly torture.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bella Twins/Divas of Doom vs. Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kane vs. John Cena

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Just like last year, not much difference here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/01/29/royal-rumble-2012/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author- page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2012 (Original): The Celtic Rumble

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

The Road to Wrestlemania begins tonight, even with the Elimination Chamber being in a month and messing things up all over again. The even money is on either Jericho, Orton or Sheamus as the dark horse. This probably marks the only time that he’s ever been considered dark in his life but it’s a special occasion. Oh and there are two world title matches tonight too if you care about that sort of thing. Let’s get to it.

Now we’ve been promised a great main event here tonight. They wouldn’t lie to us. Not a wrestling company.

The opening video is your usual one for something like this: everyone saying they want to go to the Rumble.

Smackdown World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show vs. Mark Henry

It says a lot when the Smackdown main event is opening the show. It’s been like 2 years since they’ve gotten a main event. Anyway, Bryan is the champion in case the zombie apocalypse has occurred and you have no access to finding out who champion was and you’ve somehow found my flash drive. Henry legit injured his knee on Smackdown so it should be interesting to see if he does much tonight.

Pin, submission or escape to win. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Bryan goes for a quick escape but the monsters pull him down. Show takes Henry down with a quick shoulder block and then splashes him against the cage. He does it again but I guess he’s not Bobby Lashley as the cage doesn’t break, even on the third attempt. Bryan tries to escape but Show makes the save.

Show takes over and throws Bryan into the cage. The big punch hits the cage and Bryan goes after….the leg. That works about as it does every time you go after a giant’s leg and Show rams him into various things. Bryan kicks him in the knee to take him down and then goes after Bryan. Danny calls for the door to be open but Henry goes for the save. Show kicks Henry in the face to take over again.

Bryan gets thrown into the cage a bunch of times and a hard slam puts him down. Henry comes back as we’re into the regular formula of one guy stays down while the others fight. Mark misses a charge into the cage and Show spears him which Bryan gets two off of. Bryan escapes a chokeslam and tries a LeBell Lock on Show but Henry makes the save. Henry loads up the Slam on Bryan but Show knocks him out with the punch for two as Bryan saves. Bryan goes to escape but Show grabs onto him. After holding on for awhile, Bryan falls down and escapes for the win at 9:13.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and hopefully it gets Bryan away from these monsters. There’s only so much he can do against guys this size without looking ridiculous. They laid around a lot in this but that’s the accepted formula in triple threats. By that I mean one person would stay down for way too long off a basic move but Henry needed the break given his knee. Not bad but it felt like a Smackdown main event instead of a PPV title match.

Bryan does his overblown celebration post match.

Elimination Chamber promo with Amazing Grace playing over Sheamus talking.

Cena video on his mainstream media appearances and international appeal. Basically filler.

Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Tamina/Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly

Title defenses? What are those? I didn’t know Beth was alive anymore. Tamina and Natalya start us off and thankfully it lasts longer than their match this past Friday. Off to Eve who I thought turned heel. Eve does her usual stupid dancing offense and it’s off to Beth. Off to a Bella who gets two and hooks a chinlock. Booker actually asks why Lawler likes the Bellas. Alicia comes in and beats on whichever Bella that is. Does it really even matter? Off to Eve and everyone goes outside where Kelly hits a big dive. Beth slaps her way in and the Glam Slam kills Kelly dead at 5:23.

Rating: D+. The dive was cool and this was one of the better Divas matches I can remember in awhile, but is there any point to this division anymore? That’s the first time I remember seeing Beth in forever and the match was an 8 person tag instead of something for the title. When’s the last time she defended it on TV? Based on what I can find, her last three defenses have been at TLC, Survivor Series and Vengeance.

Video on Ryder being injured.

Ryder is here in a back brace and says he’s here to watch Cena beat Kane up. He runs into Johnny Ace who has a personal room ready for Zack. Eve comes up to run her mouth on Ace and calls him vindictive, pompous and a word I couldn’t understand. Eve wheels him into the dressing room.

John Cena vs. Kane

Mostly booing for Cena here. Cena goes straight for Kane but is taken down quickly. The dueling chants begin and Cena fires off punches, knocking Kane to the floor. They brawl outside and Kane goes knee first into the steps. AA doesn’t work as Cena falls forward. Off to the chinlock and the match slows way down. Cena fights up and we get the boo/yay punch sequence. Uppercut by Kane gets two as does a suplex and it’s back to the chinlock.

Cena fights up and makes a comeback but Kane punches him right back down. A corner splash hits Cena but the second is countered by a drop toehold into the middle buckle. The idea is that Cena can’t really hurt Kane, as in the story to almost all of Kane’s matches. Cena counters the smother into a Crossface. Kane escapes and a side slam gets two for the masked man. The top rope clothesline puts Cena down and here comes the chokeslam. Cena ducks it and tries his shoulder blocks but Kane pops up. ProtoBomb looks to set up the Shuffle but Kane pops up and kicks him back down.

They go to the corner and Cena knocks him off. Cena hits a top rope Five Knuckle Shuffle and tries the AA but Kane escapes. Cena goes for the knee and tries the STF but gets kicked to the floor. Kane rams him into the apron and they fight up the ramp for the double countout. I forgot to time it but it ran roughly 15 minutes.

Rating: D+. Very slow match here and pretty boring. The idea that Cena can’t hurt Kane got boring quickly and the ending didn’t help things at all. I don’t really get where they’re going with this, but I’d assume it’s going towards something about Cena being evil but rising above it. Just dull for the most part and the same stuff done over and over again.

Cena rams something that looked like equipment into Kane and they go into the backstage area. Kane is sent into trashcans which doesn’t really stop him. The Big Fried Freak grabs a chair and pops Cena with it about four times. Wouldn’t you know it we’re right next to Ryder’s dressing room? Kane goes in and smothers Ryder into presumably death.

Kane comes back out with Ryder in the wheelchair. He wheels Ryder into the ring and here’s Eve to try to make the save. This goes about as well as you would think and Ryder gets tombstoned. Cena finally comes back to fight Kane but walks into a chokeslam. Kane leaves and Ryder gets taken out on a stretcher.

Don’t Be A Bully.

Same kind of video on Rock from earlier. He talks about his movie and this is just eating up time.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

Remember what I said about filler? Brodus dances and jiggles as Drew hits him. A headbutt to the chest puts Drew down and there’s the suplex. I know because Brodus said suplex right before he hit it. Splash in the corner and What The Funk ends this in 1:15.

We recap Punk vs. Ziggler. Punk has been screwed by Johnny Ace multiple times now and keeps calling him a failure and all those things. Ace has finally said that he’s going to screw Punk as he’s the guest referee. He’s being evaluated tomorrow night so the question is will he screw Punk because he’s got nothing to lose or will he play it fair?

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Johnny Ace is referee. Actually scratch that as he says he’ll be outside referee and there will be a regular one in the ring. We get big match intros as we should. Punk gets a nice reaction. Before the bell, Ace comes in and throws Vickie out. My goodness they’re actually following continuity! Punk won a match a few weeks ago that ensured Vickie wouldn’t be out here if you remember that.

Ziggler goes for a quick Fameasser and Punk goes for a quick GTS which both miss. Ace is texting already. They start with a nice sequence of counters and avoiding moves. This is going to be a chess match. Sunset flip gets two for the champ and he tries the Vice but Ziggy gets to the ropes. Punk takes it to the mat quickly and we go outside. Punk gets in a few shots and goes up top back in but Ziggler knocks him off for two. The champ is holding his neck.

Neckbreaker puts Punk down and Ziggler drops about ten elbows, finishing with a jumping elbow for a one count. Off to a chinlock for a few moments. Punk fights up and they slug it out. Ziggler grabs a sleeper which Punk reverses into an Anaconda attempt. Back to the sleeper but it’s not all the way on. Ziggler rolls off and a dropkick gets two. He tries a running Fameasser but gets caught in a helicopter bomb for two.

Punk fires off strikes and a swinging neckbreaker to put Dolph down. There are the knee and bulldog and Punk has the fire in his eyes. GTS is countered into a catapult but Punk lands on the middle rope. Ziggler rolls through a cross body for two with tights. Punk gets a running boot for a delayed two. This has been FAR better than any other match tonight. Punk slams him to set up the elbow but stops because it’s near Ace. He goes up anyway and the elbow gets two. It also draws a Randy Savage chant and a smile from me.

Another GTS attempt is countered by Ziggler and Punk is shoved into the referee. Ace tries to wake him up and Punk gets the Vice. Ziggler taps but there’s no referee because Ace is trying to revive him. Punk lets it go and yells at Ace. Ziggler rolls him up but Punk reverses into a rollup of his own. It would get three but there’s still no referee. John rolls the referee back in and keeps checking on him.

Punk finally shoves Ace and yells at him. Ziggler tries to jump him but gets caught in the GTS. Ace gets knocked down by Dolph’s feet and thinks Punk intentionally hit him. There’s STILL no referee to count the pin, but he’s on his knees now. Ace won’t count so Punk says the next GTS is for him. Punk loads up another GTS on Ziggler but Dolph counters into a Fameasser in a SWEET counter but it only gets two.

Ziggler is back into it now and he pounds away at Punk like there’s no tomorrow. The regular referee is back up now. Here comes the Zig Zag but Punk catches it into a slingshot. GTS hits but Ace comes in and….counts the pin along with the regular referee so that Punk wins at 14:42.

Rating: B. Not a classic or anything but it was by far the best match of the night and a great breath of air to this horrible show. Punk and Ziggler are just great together and in the match, everything made perfect sense. Ace didn’t see who hit him and that it was an accident so he was justifiably mad. He spent a lot of time with the referee but there never was any actual cheating.

Ace hands the referee the belt so Punk can take it. He applauds Punk as well.

Ad for WWE on Youtube which will have 9 original shows apparently. It debuts Wednesday.

Rumble by the Numbers promo.

Royal Rumble

Miz is #1 and he has the AWESOME white balloons to go through. Elimination Chamber is in three weeks. My goodness. Alex Riley is second in a nice twist. Miz takes him down in the corner and Booker is talking about royal jelly. Riley throws him to the apron but Miz lands on the apron. Riley charges like an idiot and is out before #3 comes in. Third is R-Truth and I’m so glad they’re not calling this random anymore. It would just be laughable.

Truth puts him on the apron as well but Miz gets back in. The Finale is escapes but the Little Jimmy is avoided. Truth tries….something that I think was suppsed to be a forward suplex but turned into a powerslam. Miz is thrown to the apron and Cody is #4. Cody hits a quick Beautiful Disaster and then teams up with Miz to work on Truth. Cody takes awhile working on Truth and is thrown to the apron but he hangs on.

Miz takes Truth down with a neckbreaker and Cody gets back in. #5 is Justin Gabriel and he goes up top to take the heels out with a cross body. Flying shoulder takers Miz down and a Blue Thunder Bomb does the same to Cody. The clock seems to be going very quickly. Miz is put down again by a spinwheel kick but Cody gets in a shot to slow Gabriel down. The feuds pair off with Justin and Cody trading chops.

Primo is #6 and unfortunately there’s no Rosa. He actually cleans house with clotheslines and martial arts. He takes all four guys down and never gets hit at all. A NICE headscissors puts Justin down and Cody misses Beautiful Disaster to Truth. The spinning forearm takes Cody down but Miz throws Truth out. Truth pulls Miz out and hits a Little Jimmy on the floor, but Miz went under the ropes so he’s not eliminated.

In at #7 is MICK FOLEY! He, ahem, “runs” to the ring and takes Primo down quickly. Officially there are 5 people in at the moment but Miz is on the floor. Primo charges and gets backdropped out and is eliminated by Mick. Cody jumps Foley as Justin takes a breather. There’s a Bang Bang knee in the corner. Double Arm DDT takes Cody down and Justin helps with the elimination attempt.

Alberto Del…..and never mind it’s Ricardo at #8. In a hilarious bit, he comes out in a rusted out 80s car with a Hefty bag covering a busted out window. He’s in the scarf and tights also. This is GREAT. Justin and Foley are stunned. There’s a Ricardo chant. He runs around for awhile and actually puts Justin out as Foley stands there. Santino is #9 as we’re in the comedy portion of the Rumble. Cody is still down in the corner and Miz is on the mat.

Ricardo comes right at Santino but runs from the Cobra being teased. Santino beats up Ricardo for a bit, gives him a wedgie, and tosses him. Foley and Santino are the only ones left and I kid you not: it’s Socko vs. the Cobra. They circle each other with their hand puppets on and this is hilarious. Epico is in at #10. Cobra, Socko, bye bye. The Cobra and Sock collide and it’s hilarious still.

Miz gets back in to fight Foley as Cody tosses Santino. Socko to Miz but Cody comes from behind to toss him. Miz and Cody are the only ones in now but Kofi comes in at #11 to keep them from fighting. Kofi does the running dive through the ropes into a clothesline to take Cody down. He speeds things way up and hits a springboard double clothesline and a double Boom Drop. Miz is thrown to the apron but Cody makes the save.

A dropkick from Cody puts Kofi down and the clock is already ticking again. In at #12 is….JERRY LAWLER!!! That was a nice surprise and he ducks a right hand from Miz. Both heels go down from right hands and dropkicks. A slam puts Miz down and Lawler drops the strap and hits the middle rope punch, but Cody puts him out with little effort. Still though that was a cool surprise.

It’s Kofi, Cody, Miz and now Big Zeke Jackson with new tights at #13. King is back on commentary and at least he lasted longer than he did in 1997 I believe. Zeke pounds on everyone but doesn’t try to eliminate anyone until Jinder Mahal comes in to bore us #14. Cole tries to make us care by talking about the color of his head wrap which isn’t a turban apparently. He takes forever to get in so Zeke beats on everyone for awhile. The fans chant USA, so I guess they don’t like Zeke and Kofi and are supporting Cody and Miz?

We hit the halfway point as Great Khali is #15. Jinder is a little nervous. I forgot he existed so I guess the Hall of Pain was effective. Khali chops everyone and Jinder is easily tossed after trying to fight back. Jackson goes after Khali but takes a chop of his own. A clothesline puts Jackson out. It’s Miz, Rhodes, Kingston and Khali in at the moment and we’ve had 11 eliminations and 15 entrants.

Cody is dropped onto the apron by Kofi. Here’s #16 in the form of Hunico on a tricked out lowrider bike. Camacho is with him but leaves. A nice spinning springboard cross body takes Kofi down and things speed up. He hits his modified Angle Slam on Cody but is quickly chopped down. We’re about 24 minutes in and already at #17, which is BOOKER T! Sorry but you have to shout when any old person is in these things. Internet policy don’t you know.

Booker hammers on everyone but Khali stares him down. Booker goes at him and is chopped down quickly. The ring is at its fullest so far I believe with six guys in it. Khali chops Rhodes in the corner and Miz throws Kofi to the apron. He skins the cat but Miz kicks him down. Kofi lands in a handstand and WALKS BACKWARDS ON HIS HANDS TO GET TO THE STEPS! That was INCREDIBLE!!!

Dolph Ziggler is in at #18 and goes after the guy that has easily just trumped the wall climb by Morrison. Not much happens until Jim Duggan is #19, getting one of the best reactions of the night. There are seven or eight in there at the moment: Duggan, Khali, Hunico, Rhodes, Miz, Kingston, Booker and Ziggler. So it’s 8 and we’ve had 19 entrants and 11 eliminations. Duggan gets in some shots but Rhodes puts him out with a clothesline to the back.

Khali, Ziggler and Cody team up to put out Booker but Khali goes out instead. #20 is….Michael Cole. There’s your gimmick for the Rumble. And he has the wrestling gear on. How does the screening process for these entrants go? We keep the camera on him for far too long as we now have Cole, Miz, Kofi, Cody, Hunico and Ziggler in now. Cody tries to put Ziggler out as Cole dances around. If JR is in this thing I’ll need a stiff drink. #21 is…..Kharma! Wow she’s back early but they’ve been playing up the whole only two women ever thing.

She goes right after Cole and runs him over so hard the headgear comes off. Cole jumps over the top rope to the apron as Booker and Lawler jump up to eliminate him. Ziggler goes after Kharma who plants her with the Implant Buster. She throws Hunico WAY up and out. Ziggler dumps her but that was awesome. Ok so we now have Ziggler, Cody, Miz and Kofi in there. Good to see the young guys getting their chance.

#22 is Sheamus and the place goes nuts. He’s in red now. House is cleaned with everyone but Kofi getting hit. Powerslam to Ziggler and one for Miz as well. He goes after Kofi as well as Cole gives us stats on the announcers. Sheamus dumps Kofi to get us down to three in the ring at the moment. There are the ten forearms to Cody and ten for Miz as well. #23 is the Road Dogg to very little reaction.

He hammers on everyone in sight and hits the three punches and dance. There’s the Shake Rattling Kneedrop which has a name that I don’t remember. Pumphandle slam takes Miz down and the fans chant You Still Got It. Jey Uso is #24 but Jimmy is in street clothes so it’ll just be one. He superkicks Miz as Vickie screams. The Umaga running hip shot hits Roadie and Ziggler is draped on the ropes. It’s Miz, Sheamus, Jey Uso, Road Dogg, Ziggler and Cody at the moment. We’ve had 18 eliminated and 24 entrants so far.

#25 is Jack Swagger. He and Ziggler hook up and it’s Barrett at #26 with new music. Barrett dumps Road Dogg and gets in a fight with Sheamus. #27, the lucky number, is David Otunga. Well so much for it being lucky this year. He takes forever to get to the ring as we have I think 8 people in there right now. Otunga legitimately won a case in court earlier this week so at least he has something to fall back on.

The ring is pretty full here as we wait on Orton to clear them out. There’s him, Jericho and one other spot that I can’t think of to go. There are eight in at the moment but I’ll wait until #30 gets in to recap them. #28 is Orton and the place goes banana. Orton runs people over and hits a Thesz Press on Barrett. He cleans house but Rhodes jumps him. Orton puts him in Elevated DDT position but has to fight Ziggler off. We get a double DDT instead. Ok then.

Orton tosses Uso then RKOs Barrett to toss him out. #29 is Chris Jericho so who’s #30. This could be very interesting. Jericho goes after everyone and tosses Otunga. We have Swagger, Sheamus, Jericho, Ziggler, Orton, Rhodes and Miz. Here’s #30 and it’s……Big Show. Well that’s kind of a letdown but it’s a good place for a giant. Sheamus throws Swagger out as Show gets in.

The final group: Orton, Sheamus, Jericho, Miz, Cody, Ziggler and Big Show. He puts out Miz and Cody on his own to get us down to five. There goes Ziggler to get us down to the final four. There’s plenty of time left as it’s only 10:37 and the show has been going on a little over 45 minutes. Everyone takes a corner and they all go after Big Show. He throws them off with ease but an RKO puts him down. Orton tosses Show by himself and Jericho tosses Orton.

It’s Sheamus vs. Jericho and they circle each other before going at it. This is kind of a surprising final pairing even though they were some of the early favorites. Jericho is in long tights too. Booker thinks Sheamus winning the Rumble would do something for his career. You can’t buy analysis like this people. Missile dropkick puts Sheamus down. Irish Curse looks to set up the Celtic Cross but Jericho escapes and puts Sheamus on the apron. Jericho kicks him down but Sheamus hooks the rope with his leg. He hits the slingshot to get back in and we keep going.

Sheamus puts Jericho into the apron but the Brogue Kick misses. Jericho gets back in and hooks the Walls of Jericho which Lawler questions the use of but it wore Sheamus down I guess. Jericho sets for a clothesline but Sheamus backdrops him to the apron. Chris hangs on and they go to the corner. Jericho has still gone over the top remember. Sheamus is knocked off and crotched so they’re both on the apron after having gone over the top. And they’re both back in so we continue. This final part has been good so far.

Codebreaker takes Sheamus down and Jericho tries to choke Sheamus over the top. For some reason he slaps Sheamus which is just freaking stupid. Jericho tries to fight back but the Codebreaker is countered and Sheamus sits him on the ropes. Jericho hangs on but Sheamus Brogue Kicks him down and wins the Rumble at 54:48.

Rating: B+. Very good Rumble with a great variety of comedy and wrestling to make it work. It felt somewhat formula based at times but everything in WWE does anymore. It was fun though and it seems that they’re pushing someone new (kind of) for a change which is the best you can ask for in these things.

Overall Rating: B-. Well the final two matches saved it but the first hour of so of this was AWFUL. That being said, the whole point of the show is the Rumble and that was great so I can’t complain about the overall show all that much. A good Rumble can save a show, and it plus the Raw Title match did here. Good show, but only because they have a nearly hour long match to cover up the first hour being awful.

Results
Daniel Bryan b. Mark Henry and Big Show – Bryan escaped the cage
Beth Phoenix/Bella Twins/Natalya b. Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Eve Torres – Glam Slam to Kelly
John Cena vs. Kane went to a double countout
Brodus Clay b. Drew McIntyre – What The Funk
CM Punk b. Dolph Ziggler – GTS
Sheamus won the Royal Rumble last eliminating Chris Jericho

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2011 (2013 Redo): They Had Me

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2011
Date: January 30, 2011
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,113
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

This is a weird Rumble as for one year only they tried having forty people in the Rumble instead of the usual thirty. It didn’t quite work so they never tried it again, but for this year as a result there are only four matches on the whole card: two world titles, a Divas match and the Rumble itself. This is one of those rumbles I barely remember. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is exactly what you would expect.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler

Edge is defending and if he uses the spear here, Ziggler wins the title because Vickie is a crooked boss. Dolph takes over early and pounds on Edge in the corner but gets whipped across the ring to shift momentum. This is during Cole’s heel phase so he’s very annoying at this point. A gutbuster gets two for the champion and he takes things to the floor. Ziggler is rammed into the apron and the barricade for good measure as Edge stands tall.

As they come back in, Ziggler grabs a neckbreaker for two and hits an elbow to the chest. Off to a chinlock as Dolph stays on the neck. The fans cheer for Edge of course and he fights up, only to get caught in a middle rope sunset flip. Edge comes back with a slingshot into the buckle and now Dolph is in trouble. A rollup out of the corner gets two for Edge but Dolph hits another neckbreaker for two of his own.

Off to the chinlock until Edge rolls out to the apron. Ziggler knocks him into the barricade and it’s back inside for the chinlock. Edge fights up but they both try cross bodies to put both guys down. Ziggy misses a Stinger Splash in the corner and Edge catches him in a flapjack to put both guys down again. Edge counters the Fameasser into a sitout powerbomb for two more but he can’t follow up.

The champion goes up but has to fight out of a superplex. Ziggler gets knocked down and hit by a top rope cross body, only for Ziggler to roll through for two. Now the fans start cheering for Ziggler as he gets two off a dropkick. The Zig Zag misses and Edge busts out the Edgecator of all things. Dolph grabs the rope so Edge dives at him on said ropes, only to clothesline himself on them.

The Fameasser gets two and both guys are down again. A big boot puts Ziggler down for about the seventh time and Edge gets into spear position. Like an idiot, Vickie reminds him of this, allowing Dolph to catch Edge in the sleeper. Edge rolls out of it and hits the Impaler for two as Vickie pulls the referee out of the ring. Vickie slaps Edge but the champion dodges a charging Dolph into a rollup for two.

She slaps Edge AGAIN so here’s Kelly Kelly to take Vickie down. In the melee the Zig Zag hits for two and a BIG pop on the kickout. There’s the sleeper and while trying to escape it, Edge knocks the referee down. Edge escapes the hold with a kind of Stunner and realizes there’s no referee or Vickie so there’s the spear to Ziggler. The referee wakes up and Edge hits an Unprettier to retain the title.

Rating: A-. Good stuff here again although the ending is kind of stupid. Eventually Edge would be stripped of the title for using the spear (I can’t remember if it was here or another match) and Ziggler would have a stupid 45 minutes or less reign. I don’t think anyone, including Dolph, considers that a real reign but hey, Ziggler is a former world champion so we have to respect him, right WWE?

We recap Orton vs. Miz. The champion Miz cashed in MITB on Orton back in November and beat him in a tables match at TLC. Tonight it’s an actual match which means Miz is likely in trouble.

Miz says he’ll win.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Miz has Riley with him here. Orton pounds away to start as Cole is already on his knees to suck Miz off. The champ is knocked out to the floor and gets sent into the barricades a few time. Back in and Orton kicks him in the face before stomping away a bit. Cole is already on one of his rants about how noble Miz is in comparison to Edge. Orton chokes on the ropes a bit as Cole says that Orton should have stated in advance that he wanted to brawl.

Riley finally guillotines Orton on the top rope to give Miz a chance. Orton shrugs the offense off and slugs Miz down, only to miss a running knee in the corner. Cole stays on his rant about how awesome Miz is as Riley interferes some more. Cole high fives Riley and Miz hooks a chinlock for a bit. Striker continues his brilliance by saying Miz is working on the midsection to set up the SKULL Crushing Finale. A running knee to Orton’s face gets two and it’s back to the chinlock.

Randy blocks a German Suplex and elbows Miz down to break the momentum. Miz comes right back with a big boot to the face for two and the champion is getting frustrated. Miz goes up and gets crotched right back down, allowing Orton to hit his daddy’s superplex for two. Randy starts his comeback with the clotheslines and the backbreaker to send Miz to the apron. Why would you go there against Orton? Perhaps it’s because he can backdrop Orton out to the floor to counter and have Riley stomp away a bit.

A top rope ax handle gets two for Miz so he pounds away on Orton’s head. Back to the chinlock but Orton fights out of this one much faster. Not that it matters though as Orton gets sent through the ropes and out to the floor where Miz catapults him into the post. Orton gets back in at nine and is all fired up, only to get punched into the corner. Randy comes back with a clothesline and the powerslam before hitting the circle stomp.

Riley breaks up something like a powerbomb, allowing Miz to hit a modified Reality Check for two. Both finishers are countered and Orton hits an Angle Slam of all things for two. I vaguely remember him using that around this time. Miz’s attempt at walking out fails but he gets in something we can’t see for two back inside.

Randy gets two off a rollup and there’s the Elevated DDT. Orton loads up the RKO but here’s the New Nexus for a distraction. Riley tries to come in but in a great looking spot, Orton LAUNCHES Riley over the top (and over the referee) onto Nexus. The RKO hits but Punk runs in with a GTS to keep the belt on Miz. Cole literally jumps for joy.

Rating: B. I was digging this match a lot and the ending would wind up making a lot more sense than it does on paper here. While Punk would obviously go on to feud with Punk for a few months, Miz would face Jerry Lawler of all people at Elimination Chamber before moving on to the main event of Wrestlemania. Good stuff here though and one of Miz’s best matches ever. Gee you hear that a lot when Orton is the opponent don’t you?

Dashing Cody Rhodes will not be here tonight because of his shattered face. This would lead to Dr. Cody Doom which was pretty awesome and then wound up being wasted.

Fans say who they think is going to win the Rumble.

Divas Title: Natalya vs. Laycool

Nattie beat them in a handicap match to win the title and this is the rematch. Before anything gets going though, we have an e-mail from the anonymous GM. We’re going to make it a four way just for the sake of making it a fourway and we want to have a new champion.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Layla vs. Eve Torres vs. Natalya

Nattie is defending as I said and this is one fall to a finish. Laycool goes after both other chicks to start and Eve gets double teamed. Natalya comes back with a slingshot to send Layla into Michelle as Matt actually tries to analyze this match. We get down to Laycool squaring off but before they do anything, Eve and Nattie come back in.

Layla breaks up the Sharpshooter on Eve so Natalya puts the Sharpshooter on BOTH OF THEM AT ONCE. Layla hits the neckbreaker on Eve to send her to the floor but Michelle kicks Eve out to the floor. Michelle misses a bit boot and takes Layla’s head off by mistake. She and the champ fight to the floor, allowing Eve to sneak in and steal the pin with a moonsault.

Rating: D+. That might become my default rating for Divas matches as most of them fall into the same category: not bad but nothing worth seeing at all for the most part. The double Sharpshooter was cool but it’s a five second sequence out of a five minute match. Also, why am I supposed to be excited about Eve winning the title when she wasn’t even important enough to put into the match in the first place?

Michelle is mad because she had Natalya covered at the same time but the referee didn’t see it.

A cleanshaven Daniel Bryan is excited for the Rumble because he could win. He’s with Gail at this point and the Bells come up to offer their condolences for trying to hook up with Bryan. The Bellas imply they’re better looking than Gail and a fight breaks out.

Rumble By The Numbers time!

40 entrants

1 winner

24 winners

656 losing entrants

39 eliminations by Shawn, a record

26 WWE Hall of Famers who have competed

183,932lbs that has competed in the Rumble, or 92 tons or 492 Big Shows

2 women who have competed in the Rumble

11 eliminations by Kane in 2001, a record

13 straight Rumbles for Kane, also a record

62:12 Mysterio lasted in the 2006 Rumble

1 second, the record for shortest time in the Rumble, held by Santino Marella

3 wins by Austin

2, the number of wins that spot #1 has produced, the same as #30

70% of winners have gone on to win the title at Mania

Royal Rumble

40 entrants this year and it’s Punk at #1 and before #2 comes out, here’s the Corre (Barrett, Jackson, Slater and Gabriel) to surround Punk. They jump him until Punk’s Nexus guys come out for the save. The GM sends an e-mail that says everyone not named CM Punk needs to get out or they’re out of the Rumble. Anyway Daniel Bryan is #2 and the internet explodes.

They speed things up to start and Bryan fires off some kicks to the ribs. Striker talks about how the internet loves this match as Bryan is sent to the apron. The dueling chants begin and Bryan misses a dropkick in the corner. Justin Gabriel is #3 and immediately goes after Punk. Bryan clotheslines CM down and Gabriel misses the 450, allowing Bryan to dump Justin out.

Zack Ryder, still a heel, is #4. He immediately takes Bryan down and hits the Broski Boot to both guys. Bryan launches Ryder into the air for a Rough Ryder into Punk, only to get dumped to the floor by Daniel. Back to Punk vs. Bryan until William Regal is #5. He starts busting out the knees to the face and some suplexes before hitting the knee trembler to Punk. The student and the teacher (Bryan and Regal) slug it out before Punk kicks the teacher in the head. Bryan kicks Punk in the head for kicking Regal in the head and only Daniel is left standing.

Ted DiBiase is #6 along with Maryse. Bryan rips off kicks to Regal before trying to dump Ted out. John Morrison is #7 to a BIG pop. He comes in (after slipping) with a slingshot kick to Regal and the Flying Chuck to Punk. A C4 takes Bryan down but DiBiase dumps Morrison to the apron. As Regal is eliminated, we get at the time the best Rumble save ever, as Morrison is knocked from the apron but catches himself on the barricade. His feet never touch as he pulls himself up to the barricade, tightrope walks down to the steps, jumps to said steps, kicks Regal in the head, and gets back in. That blew my mind live.

Yoshi Tatsu (Striker calls him the Poison Fist of the Pacific Rim because Striker likes to think he’s smart) is #8 and goes right after Punk. Husky Harris is #9 and he beats everyone not named Punk before standing guard over his leader. Chavo Guerrero is #10 as these intervals are getting really short. Chavo loads up Three Amigos on DiBiase but Punk breaks it up. Now Punk takes two of them but Morrison breaks it up at two. So this time Morrison takes two suplexes but BRYAN breaks it up and finally Daniel takes all three suplexes.

Chavo takes Harris down with a middle rope missile dropkick and Mark Henry is #11. For some reason Chavo dives on him and is immediately dumped out. Yoshi is sent out as well as JTG is #12. Michael McGillicutty is #13 and he takes out JTG almost immediately before teaming up with Harris to dump DiBiase. Christ Masters is #14 and puts Punk to the apron with the Masterlock unti McGillicutty makes the save. Masters and Bryan slug it out until Otunga is #15, giving Punk and the Nexus four members.

They gang up on and toss Bryan pretty easily and there goes Masters as well. There goes Morrison too and the elimination of Henry clears the ring. Tyler Reks from ECW gets to come in at #16 and you can figure out what happens to him in about 40 seconds. Vladimir Kozlov is #17 but the numbers catch up with him and it’s Punk who gets to do the honors. We’re just waiting for Cena to come out now.

Instead it’s R-Truth at #18 and it’s the same result. The only highlight is Punk hitting the knee in the corner and saying WHAT’S UP with a big goofy grin on his face. There goes Truth but Great Khali returns at #19 to scare Punk half to death. He fights all of the Nexus off and manages to dump Harris which is a big breakthrough. Khali chops Punk down and Mason Ryan, also of the Nexus, is #20. After a brief slugout he puts Khali out and we’re right back where we were.

In our second major return of the Rumble, Booker T is #21 and Striker FREAKS. Booker fires off as many kicks as he can and hits the Bookend on McGillicutty. You know we’re getting the Spinarooni but Ryan throws Booker out as soon as it’s over. Punk: “WE’RE GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!” All hope seems to be lost but heeeeeeeeeeeere’s Cena at #22. The hometown boy charges at the ring and puts out McGillicutty, Ryan and Otunga to get us down to one on one.

Cena pounds away and escapes the GTS before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Hornswoggle is #23 and is immediately kicked down by Punk. Atta boy CM! Punk loads up the GTS but Cena escapes and this the AA to toss Punk out. In next is Tyson Kidd at #24 and he gets caught between Cena and Horny. The Swogg busts out a headscissors before Cena hits the AA. In a decent visual, Horny hits an AA of his own allowing for the elimination by Cena.

Heath Slater is #25 and DEAR GOODNESS he looks hilarious in trunks. He might be as pale as Sheamus used to be and the visual is horrible. Horny hits some Sweet Shin Music and a Stunner followed by a double Five Knuckle Shuffle. There’s a Tadpole Splash and Slater is gone. Cole sounds like he’s about to be sick. Kofi Kingston is #26 and this should be interesting. Kofi fires off some kicks of course followed by some punches in the corner until Jack Swagger is #27.

Cole talks about the luck of #27 and Jerry correctly points out that the number is lucky in 30 man matches, not 40. Swagger hits the Vader Bomb on both full sized guys but as he goes after Hornswoggle, Kofi cross bodies Swagger down. There’s the Boom Drop with horny as a stepping stone and it’s King Sheamus at #28. Cena takes the Irish Curse and there’s only Horny left to face Sheamus. Horny loads up Sweet Shin Music but Cena saves Horny from elimination. The tiny man loads up the Tadpole Splash but gets Brogue Kicked out, thank goodness.

Mysterio is #29 and he hits a pair of headscissors on Swagger and Sheamus but Sheamus breaks up the 619. Trouble in Paradise takes Sheamus down but Swagger takes Kofi down. Rey hits a headscissors to put Swagger on the apron and a 619 gets the elimination. Wade Barrett is #30 and it turns into a bunch of mini brawls. Winds of Change take Cena down and Ziggler is #31. There’s a pretty big talent pool in there at the moment with Cena, Mysterio, Sheamus, Kingston, Ziggler and Barrett.

Barrett and Dolph go after Cena but Mysterio makes a save for no apparent reason. Diesel is the final big return at #32 and there’s your big pop. This is the appearance that set up Diesel vs. HHH and Punk for the latter half of the year. Everyone is stunned but I think it’s just at how black Diesel has gotten his hair. That’s some high quality polish. We get a Diesel chant and he cleans house in a much more effective way than you would expect. Diesel’s style is really good for something like this as he does so many basic moves but he’s so big that they look that much more impressive.

Drew McIntyre is #33 and we get a LOUD let’s go Diesel chant. Diesel gets caught in 619 position and in a very rare occurrence, the move gets booed. Alex Riley is #34 and Cole loses his mind when Miz’s music hits again. Diesel misses a big boot and gets kicked out by Barrett. The DIESEL chant rocks the Garden as Miz sits in on commentary. Big Show is in at #35, so Striker talks about how much taller Show is than the tallest player in the NHL. For once I agree with Cole when he says “WHO CARES???” We know Big Show is tall, and simply telling us he’s taller than a guy who is 6’9 doesn’t change anything.

Show and Diesel have a staredown in the aisle which is a FAR better (and actual) illustration of how big Show is. McIntyre and Sheamus get dropped by Show and there’s a chokeslam for Barrett. Show dumps Ziggler as Cena dumps Riley. Show shoves McIntyre out as Big Zeke is #36. He immediately throws out Show to a shockingly non-reaction. We have Barrett, Jackson, Kingston, Cena, Mysterio and Sheamus at the moment.

Santino is #37 and literally immediately breaks his record of 1 second in the Rumble. Jackson almost immediately decks him and knocks Santino to the mat and out to the floor which isn’t an elimination. Remember that. Jackson tries to put Cena out and Del Rio is #38. He’s still new at this point and hasn’t gotten on almost everyone’s nerves yet.

Striker tells us that Riley has been eliminated five minutes after it happens. Not only is he annoying but he’s a bad broadcaster on top of that. Alberto wisely takes forever to get into the ring as Miz’s voice sounds really hoarse. By long enough I mean Orton jumps him in the aisle at #39. There’s a quick RKO to Del Rio and one for Sheamus as well. A third hits Kofi and he’s gone. Sheamus is out too and it’s time for Cena vs. Orton. John points to the sign but Kane’s pyro goes off at #40 to complete the field and scare Cena to death.

So we’ve got Cena, Mysterio, Barrett, Jackson, Del Rio, Orton and Kane in the ring. I’ve seen far worse. Kane focuses on Orton and hits the side slam, only to be run over by Big Zeke. Jackson misses a charge though and goes out via a low bridge. Mysterio jumps into a chokeslam grip but Rey headscissors him out, only to be dumped by Barrett. Orton goes after Alberto while Cena beats up Barrett. Cena gets sent to the apron but gets back in via a shoulder to Wade’s ribs.

Things slow down again and NOW we get Cena vs. Orton. The fans barely react to it though so Barrett breaks it up. There’s an AA to Del Rio and here’s Riley again. He distracts Cena enough to have Miz run in and dump Cena to get us down to Orton, Barrett and Del Rio in the ring. There’s the backbreaker to Del Rio and Orton dumps Barrett, only to have Alberto sneak in on him to win the Rumble.

Rating: A. This was a VERY well done Rumble as they hit the three act structure and had a great balance of main event guys as well as new stars and legends. While it doesn’t seem like a big shock now, Del Rio had only been around for about four months. This would be like a member of the Shield winning the Rumble in 2013. Excellent Rumble though and one of the best ever.

Del Rio celebrates…….AND SANTINO CRAWLS BACK IN! He went UNDER remember so the match isn’t over yet. Del Rio doesn’t see him coming and Santino hits the Cobra! Cole: “OH MY GOD!!!” He goes for the elimination but Del Rio reverses and dumps Santino out to really win. I remember watching this and my heart STOPPED as soon as Santino got back in. The exact words I said: “THEY WOULDN’T! THEY COULDN’T! Oh they didn’t.” This makes the match even better as the fans LOST IT when he got back in.

Ricardo is literally on the floor screaming Del Rio to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. The worst and only bad match was the Divas and you had looks in that one so how can this be anything below great? 2011 was the start of the good period for WWE and they kicked it off with a bang with a great Rumble here. This is an excellent show and well worth checking out. Good stuff here.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: A-

Redo: A-

Miz vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: B

Eve Torres vs. Natalya vs. Layla vs. Michelle McCool

Original: D

Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: A

This is why I don’t see the point in redoing the newer shows: my taste hasn’t changed much.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/30/royal-rumble-2011-his-name-is-alberto-del-rio/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author- page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2011 (Original): Si

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2011
Date: January 30, 2011
Location: TD Bank Garden Arena, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

Well we’ve finally, and I do mean FINALLY arrived. This is the first 40 man Rumble and while I’m still not behind the idea it could be good I guess. There are only 4 matches tonight: the Rumble, a Divas match and the two world titles. It should be fun as WWE has been on a straight up roll recently. Let’s get to it.

Smackdown World Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Edge

 

Well you can’t say they’re going easy to start. And Edge’s pyro doesn’t go off. Remember that the Spear is banned here and if Edge uses it then Ziggler loses the world title. Vickie comes out to do the intro and tries to start a Spear chant which is kind of funny. We get big match intros too which is always nice. Lawler: “Ziggler is just like Santa Claus. Everywhere he goes he takes that old bag with him.”

Dang Edge goes from winning the match to starting the show the next year. Quite a drop…yet he has a title here. I love logic or whatever you call it in wrestling. Striker is doing a great job of tossing softballs up for King to get good lines off of. Lawler has always been a guy that needs someone to set him up but once he gets a start he’s fine.

Edge controls a lot early on with some basic stuff. We hit the floor and it’s all Edge. Ziggler gets a kick to the side of Edge’s head as they come back in to get his first advantage. Off to a chinlock now as the LET’S GO EDGE chant gets going. Sunset flip is blocked for two. More chinlock and this time a longer version of it. Big elbow drop gets two.

Dolph gets a running charge to send Edge out to the floor and into the barricade. Back in that gets two. Hey look it’s a chinnlock! Edge fights up and a double cross body puts both guys down. Stinger Splash in the corner misses by Zigs. Ziggler gets that Downward Spiral into a Stunner for two. Edge counters the Fameasser into a sitout powerbomb for two.

Uncharacteristically for Edge he goes up top but Ziggler beats him to the punch. Cross body off the top is rolled through for a VERY close two by Ziggler. Dropkick gets two on Edge. Zig Zag is blocked and Edge busts out the Edgecator (modified Sharpshooter) for two. Edge misses a charge at the ropes and the Fameasser hits for two.

Big Boot puts Ziggler down and Edge sets for the Spear in the corner. Vickie like an idiot, yells at him to not do it. Ziggler wants the sleeper but gets caught in the Edgecution but Vickie grabs the referee. She and Edge get into it and Kelly of all people comes out to beat on Vickie. As Edge is watching the catfight a Zig Zag gets two and that more or less seals the ending here.

Dolph gets the sleeper and Edge is fading fast. Oh of course he fights it off. He manages to get a big jawbreaker out of it instead and down goes the referee. Vickie is down as well so there’s the Spear. Edge pulls an Eddie and lays down too. Cole: SOMEONE HAD TO SEE THAT! He’s totally right you know. Edge uses an Unprettier of all things to end it.

Rating: A-. This was a solid back and forth match, but I really don’t like the Spear in there. Striker calls it the Unprettier which is supposed to be the Killswitch I believe? Anyway this was a very good match with Ziggler getting some very close near falls out there. It’s your regular Rumble match that had a challenger who simply wasn’t going to win but Dolph looked great. Very good opener indeed.

Mania is 63 days away! Naturally we have the Chamber in there which is going to take away a lot of that time.

We recap Miz vs. Orton which goes back to Miz cashing in. That’s still sweet and was perfectly done. DEMON CHILD!!! Also Miz beat the tar out of Orton on Raw.

Miz and Riley say Miz will win and insult Boston.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. The Miz

 

Cole talks throughout the WHOLE entrance and then in the ring he says that this is a big match for Miz. Thanks for clearing up that defending the world title on PPV against one of the biggest stars of all time is a big match. Miz chant to start as it’s all Orton early on. Back in the ring as Orton stomps away and Lawler and Cole get into it as always. I’m still thinking that results in a Mania match which it should. Lawler deserves a match at Mania.

Orton beats him down in the corner and Cole says this is unfair to him. Nice flashback to Heenan in 92. Riley interferes and here comes the Champion. Orton fights back but misses a charge in the corner to give Miz the advantage back. The Miz is a Triple crown winner. Let that sink in for a bit. Ok he kind of is at least. Corner clothesline gets two. More beatdowns and a knee to the ribs get two.

Orton is able to get back in there with a kick and up the ropes we go. Superplex gets two as Cole talks about Riley. Elevated DDT is countered by a backdrop and we hit the floor again. Back in Miz gets two. Miz goes up and a double axe gets two. He throws on a chinlock as it’s all champion here. Back to the floor one more time and Orton eats the post.

He beats the count at 9 and the beating is on again but this time with Orton in control with the Thesz Press. Powerslam sets up the stomping. Orton sets for the powerbomb but Riley distracts him. Miz gets that backbreaker/neckbreaker combo he’s been using lately for two. Angle Slam hits so Miz wants to get the title and leave. Instead Orton kills him with a clothesline.

Since we’re looking at a split screen replay we miss what Miz hits to get two out of nowhere on Orton. Miz misses a kick and Orton grabs a rollup for two. Elevated (called Suspension by Striker which works also) gets two. He sets for the RKO and HERE THEY COME! It’s the New Nexus minus Punk who stare down Orton. As the referee is distracted Riley gets in and in an AWESOME spot, Orton picks up Riley and LAUNCHES him over the referee and onto Nexus. Riley was AIRBORNE! There’s the RKO but Punk runs in with a GTS and Miz retains! Cole jumps up and down like a little girl in celebration.

Rating: B. Good match but definitely not as good as the previous one. The thing is that with a show like the Rumble, everything besides the one big match is pure bonus. The two title matches have been rather good so this show is already looking up. This was very good stuff for the most part here which is pretty much expected. If nothing else it gives us some new direction. Not bad at all here and a pretty good match.

Cody Rhodes gives a prepared statement while we can’t see his face which is always funny.

Divas Title: Natalya vs. Laycool

 

Just before the match starts we get an E-Mail, making it a fatal fourway and he adds….Eve? Uh…ok. Oh and the GM makes fun of Cole and all the people that complain about him. No tagging here of course. There isn’t much to say here as it’s an insane spot fest for the most part. Natalya gets the double Sharpshooter on Eve and Layla which is a great visual. Layla gets the neckbreaker on Natalya. There isn’t much to say here like AT ALL. Michelle kicks Layla, Eve wins the title with a moonsault. Natalya might have pinned Michelle at the same time.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad overall. It was a mess of a Divas match which is bad as usually they have some good stuff going for them and certainly have been recently. This was bad and it was the epitome of a bridge to the Rumble. Speaking of which, let’s go to that.

Bellas/Gail/Bryan segment. It’s stupid and the same thing from Monday but with the Bellas pretending to be nice with flowers.

Rumble By the Numbers.

Royal Rumble

 

Punk is #1 to the shock of no one, and to no one else’s shock, Corre has a member in at #2 but they all surround the ring. Punk gets beaten down by everyone until Nexus comes down for the save. Cole gets an E-Mail which says STOP IT! Everyone but Punk has to leave and only Punk is in at the moment. LOUD Punk chant and #2 is Bryan. The IWC just orgasmed loudly.

Bryan speeds things up and takes Punk down with some nice shots. It’s dueling chant time as Bryan hits the top rope dropkick. In at 3 is Gabriel. Gabriel beats Punk up with ease but misses the 450 and Bryan tosses Justin easily. The timing is absurd already as you expected it to. Number 4 is Zach Ryder. He gets both guys down in the corner and manages to get a Rough Ryder on Punk. Bryan throws him out with ease as I hope we’re not going the 95 route.

Regal is in at #5 and he cleans house which isn’t very dirty at this point. Lots of suplexes all around. Regal and Bryan slug it out with European uppercuts which surprisingly Bryan wins despite not being, you know, European. Bryan kicks both guys with ease and we get #6 in the form of Ted DiBiase. Backbreaker for Bryan and dropkicks to him and Regal. Down goes Punk to the following clothesline.

Bryan vs. Regal and DiBiase vs. Punk for awhile which gets us nowhere. Seventh is Morrison to a BIG pop. Springboard kick puts Regal down and Morrison cleans house, including with his eternal rival in Punk. C4 to Bryan. I had Morrison as a dark horse but methinks that’s out the window. He gets thrown by DiBiase but lands on the apron. Morrison gets launched to the railing and GRABS THE WALL like freaking Spiderman, climbs up to the apron, tightrope walks it to the steps and gets back in. Ladies and gentlemen, that is not going to be topped tonight.

Tatsu is #8 and he does nothing at all. Ninth is Husky Harris. Regal went out somewhere in there that I missed when I was dying from Morrison’s wall grab. Harris immediately gets in front of Punk for defense so Morrison and Bryan try to kill him. He’s 23 and the youngest person in this Rumble. That’s rather impressive. We get to ¼ of the way through this with Chavo.

Seven people in there now as Gabriel, Ryder and Regal have been eliminated so far. Three Amigos to DiBiase but Punk cuts him off. And never mind as he takes three of his own. Punk’s get broken up so it’s suplex time to Morrison. Here are some for Bryan as well. He must have done ten suplexes in like 30 seconds. This is kind of cool actually. FINALLY he gets the third in a row.

Number 11 is Mark Henry to clear out some dead weight. There go Chavo and Tatsu. Punk beats Henry down a bit as it’s time for JTG to be #12. This portion of the Rumble brought to you by not Michael Hayes. JTG, Henry, Punk, Harris, DiBiase, Morrison and Bryan in there at the moment. Hey I’ve actually got this up to date! Number 13 is Michael McGillicutty to give Punk some backup.

Punk tells him to HURT EVERYBODY. There goes JTG as we’re getting a bit cluttered here. Granted a lot of that is Henry and the midcard is well represented. Harris and McGillicutty put out DiBiase to make room for Masters at 14. Masterlock to Punk but he can’t get him out as McGillicutty makes the save. Bryan hammers on Masters as #15 is Otunga. That makes four members counting Punk in there at the moment.

Bryan is out almost immediately and Masters joins him soon. Nexus cleans house and gets Morrison out too. Over to Henry now and yep he’s gone too. Just Nexus left in the ring now. Tyler Reks is the sacrificial lamb at #16. How long can he be unknown for? There he goes of course. So are we just waiting on Cena now? I think that’s pretty clear. In at 17 is Kozlov who has history here.

Why not just wait on the floor and wait for like five people to get together to at least have even odds? Vladimir is out with ease. Punk gets all meditational on us and it’s Truth in as the Rumble is now legal. Striker agrees with the whole wait it out. This is a great way to run through some of the weaker guys though. Punk gets the corner clothesline and bulldog. In between, he looks at the camera and raises the roof shouting WHAT’S UP in a sarcastic voice. Funny stuff.

Truth is gone. And here’s trouble in the form of the Great Khali. He chops them all down and gets rid of Harris to break up this blockade. GET BETH PHOENIX STAT! Naturally in next is Mason Ryan (20). India vs. Wales goes to the darker skinned ones until Ryan gets him out. BOOKER T IS NUMBER 21!!!!! SCREW YOU MAIN EVENT MAFIA!!!!! Epic pop for him too and Booker looks awesome.

Kicks all around and a Book End to McGillicutty. SPINAROONI! SPINAROONI! OH MY GOODNESS A SPINAROONI! Punk charges but Ryan makes the save. Booker is out but that was insanely awesome. My screen froze on Booker’s eyes bugging out. You knew it was coming. John Cena is in next and the fight is on. He takes everyone down with basic moves and there goes Ryan to a low bridge. Otunga and McGillicutty to a double clothesline and it’s down to Cena and Punk!

Cena charges into a corner elbow but Punk can’t get GTS. Double clothesline puts both men down ala Hogan and Warrior in 1990. Number 23 is…..it’s Hornswoggle. The look on Punk’s face is hilarious. More or less it says “no…..freaking….way.” Punk gets up and drills Horny but goes after Cena instead. FU TO PUNK AND HE’S OUT! Cena is left with Horny as #24 is Tyson Kidd. Headscissors to Kidd by Horny sets up an FU and there he goes. Ok no he doesn’t yet as Horny wants to do it. Horny gives him an FU and there goes Kidd.

Twenty fifth is Slater who takes a low blow from Horny and a super Stunner which actually looked pretty cool. Double You Can’t See Me. Tadpole Splash and there goes Slater. It’s Kofi Kingston at 26 and this could be awesome. Cool moment as they stare down and look at the Mania sign. I totally buy Kofi as a threat to Cena here which is a very good sign. Kofi beats on him a bit but it’s really a standoff. Swagger is 27th and takes down the weakened guys.

Vader Bomb to Cena and one for Kofi as well. And now….dude go for the midget already. Swagger goes after Horny but Kofi kills Jack with a cross body. Double Boom Drop as Horny is a bridge for Kofi to jump off of. 28 is SHEAMUS. Oh yes. This guy is a, and I will never ever say this again, a dark horse to win this. Sheamus cleans house and goes after Horny. Cena saves him AGAIN and it’s another Tadpole Splash coming. Never mind actually as Sheamus KICKS HIM IN THE HEAD to eliminate him.

Rey is #29. We have Kofi, Cena, Swagger, Sheamus and Rey in there at the moment. Trouble in Paradise to Sheamus but Swagger takes him down. Rey was on the corner and Swagger tries the running belly to belly. Rey ducks and knocks him to the apron and a 619 takes him out. Barrett is 30 as this is FLYING by. Wasteland to Kofi is blocked by a kick to the knee by Rey.

Cena vs. Barrett goes to Wade in the form of a Boss Man Slam. That could so be a finisher for someone. Maybe Ryan? The first #31 in history is Dolph Ziggler??? Oh crap man, that could be a shock. He hammers away on Sheamus as Barrett is in trouble. Dolph, Sheamus, Barrett, Kofi, Cena and Rey at the moment. Cena is in trouble and the crowd reacts BIG.

32 is DIESEL???? OH WOW! The crowd pops HUGE. I can’t get used to hearing him called Diesel. Drew is 33rd. Nash looks kind of awesome in there. Drew and Sheamus hammer down Diesel who is all of a sudden getting a HUGE chant! Dude sign this guy up! 619 to Diesel which I can’t believe I just typed.

34th is….the Miz??? Oh wait it’s Riley. He slides in and Cena just drills him. Striker got cut off mid sentence in a laugh. Barrett puts Diesel out. ANOTHER big Diesel chant as he leaves. Miz sits in on commentary for a bit. Big Show is number 35 and it’s time to clear out some guys. Show and Diesel look at each other. Oh dang there’s some history there. The Celts jump Show as he comes in which doesn’t go well for the UK guys.

Miz sounds like he has a cold. There goes Ziggler at the hands of Show. I want to know who #40 is. 36 is Big Zeke. Uh oh. Show puts Drew out. Zeke puts Show down and OUT on his own! There are four entrants left. Who isn’t out here yet? Rey, Zeke, Cena, Kofi, Barrett and Sheamus at the moment. Santino is 37th and gets a solid pop. He goes right at Sheamus of all people. And now he goes for Zeke who growls at him.

Santino gets knocked to the floor under the bottom rope. Alberto is 38 and I completely forgot about him. Ricardo does the intro! No one else has gotten an intro but no one else is Alberto Del Rio. Del Rio takes his sweet time and isn’t in before Orton is 39th. ONE MORE TO GO! RKO to everyone and there goes Kofi. Sheamus is out too as is Drew. And then, it’s Cena vs. Orton. The crowd just went SILENT and in the awesome way I mean.

They stare it down with the Mania sign between them and there’s the clock. And it’s Kane. Uh, kind of anti-climactic but ok. So it’s Kane, Cena, Orton, Santino, Rey, Del Rio and I think that’s it. I likely left someone out though. Oh and Zeke and Barrett. Zeke beats up Kane with relative ease after Kane cleans some house. There goes Zeke. Ok now we’re down to Barrett, Kane, Cena, Orton, Rey and Del Rio. Kane is put out by Rey! Barrett puts out Rey! I LOVE YOU BARRETT!!!

Final four are Barrett, Orton, Cena and Del Rio. Cena and Del Rio are in trouble but both hang on. Randy and John (sounds weird calling it that) stare it down again to another hush. There they go with the punches. Both finishers miss as FU is broken up by Barrett for no apparent reason. Maybe he’s the new Corre member? Del Rio vs. Cena and Barrett vs. Orton at this point.

FU to Del Rio but here comes Riley again for no adequately explained reason. MIZ ELIMINATES CENA!!! LET THE INTERNET ERUPT!!! Blast it not Orton again. Is Santino still in? Orton busts out a bunch of his basic stuff and there goes Barrett! DEL RIO PUTS OUT ORTON TO WIN THE ROYAL RUMBLE!!! Wait Santino is back! COBRA!!! THEY WOULDN’T!!!!! Oh thank goodness Del Rio threw him out to officially end it.

Rating: A. I was wrong. I thought this would be overblown but it felt more epic this way. HUGE props to WWE for putting someone new in there. That is absolutely huge for WWE as they are actually giving someone the huge push and the momentum to do it with. He’s a glorified midcarder and he won. This is exactly what they needed to do with this and it worked wonderfully. Mania has matches set up for it now and we got some great surprises. Epic Rumble although maybe just a step beneath next year. GREAT ending though.

Overall Rating: A. This was a great show indeed. The Divas match was the only bad thing all night and on a card with four matches you can’t argue that in the slightest. They’re setting Mania up very early this year and that’s nothing but good. This was a great show as WWE now has two big wins in a row. I’m freaking pumped up for Mania now as this was great stuff indeed. Loved it and bring on Elimination Chamber baby!

 

 

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