Monday Night Raw
Date: April 4, 2016
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It’s pretty much New Year’s Day in WWE after everything came to a big conclusion last night. We’re officially in the Roman Reigns Era (part three) and hopefully that means a little break from the Authority. The other interesting thing will be seeing where the McMahons go from here because they’re the real stars of this show. Let’s get to it.

Again I was in the arena for this show so my perspective might be a bit different.

We open with a long recap of Wrestlemania, because what else are they going to start with?

Opening sequence.

The announcers tell us that the crowd is going to be “non-traditional” tonight. Translation: “Please don’t listen to the fans booing Reigns. He’s really AWESOME!” JBL says they’re just having fun. If fun means chanting for the Sheraton Hotel room that came in their travel packages, followed by a TRAVEL PACKAGE chant, I’d rather sign up for misery.

Here’s Vince to get things going and the fans actually sing his theme song. Vince: “Exactly the same chance my son had against the Undertaker!” He brings up Reigns winning the title and the fans are really not pleased. However, as of this morning the lock box is all taken care of, save for explaining what the heck that’s about. Last night was a great night but seeing his grandsons out there with Shane got to him a bit. It almost got to him when Shane climbed the Cell, which of course draws a Shane O’Mac chant.

Vince promises that tonight is a night we’ll never forget and goes to leave but Shane slowly limps out to cut him off. The fans thank Shane but he wants to shake Vince’s hand (“Since I’m the only man in the family.”) because Vince won at Wrestlemania. Shane thanks the fans and goes to leave but Vince cuts him off and blames the fans for what happened last night. Vince cuts him off again and says no one upstages him. He’s often thought how insane it would be to have Shane running Raw…..so let’s see how bad it can get.

Yes Shane is now in charge of Raw, completely negating A MONTH AND A HALF of storylines, along with erasing the point of last night’s Cell match. It’s almost like they booked themselves into a stupid corner with the story and had to find a way out of it while completely throwing logic out the window. This is the kind of nonsense that gets old in a hurry because I basically spent a month and a half trying to make sense of this stuff and then they say “oh never mind because we’re just doing what Vince was so scared of because.” Why? Just because. That drives me crazy but it happens far too often around here.

Here’s New Day for a talk before their title defense. Woods now has a smaller horn for reasons that aren’t likely to be explained. Maybe Vince just lost his mind and felt it should be smaller. The fans do the HEY! WE WANT SOME NEW DAY song before Big E. says things didn’t go according to plan last night.

Kofi did get to twerk with Shawn Michaels but Woods took a Stunner. Woods: “Upon further review of the tape, I have to admit….that it was pretty much my own fault.” However, they now have the last piece of Bootyo’s from last night, which will be playing the role of Simba as Woods hums Circle of Life from Lion King. It’s one of my all time favorites and the fans dug the heck out of that bit.

Tag Team Titles: King Barrett/Sheamus vs. New Day

The challengers come out after a break but first we get to see Lillian dancing with New Day, which she actually did twice. Kofi and Sheamus go into the corner to start as the announcers talk about the Shane story because the Tag Team Titles aren’t interesting enough. Everything breaks down and the League is sent outside, followed by Kofi being launched over the top (complete with fanfare from Woods) for a big crash.

Sheamus gets back up and knocks Kofi off the top for a crash but thankfully Woods is there to reassure him that the Bootyo is magical. Kofi fights back on Barrett but gets kicked hard in the ribs. We take a break and come back with the Wave going on in the background. Even Sheamus gets in on it, which actually causes Woods to get the mic and say if you like the Wave you like Sheamus.

This was the second time he said something like that after he had to get the fans to stop chanting Rocksteady during the break. To his credit, the crowd stopped cold both times so that seems to be the solution to the annoying chants. Kofi kicks Sheamus away and makes the hot tag as the fans are busy chanting about how awesome they are. Big E. starts in with the suplexes and the Warrior splash, followed by a whip to send Barrett into Sheamus. The Midnight Hour retains the titles at 8:45.

Rating: C. The match was fine but I’m sick of seeing these groups fight. There has to be someone else that New Day can fight, even if it’s some pairing of two big heels. The League just isn’t interesting no matter how many times they call themselves the lads or spin their fingers around their heads. New Day is way over but they’re getting into that Edge and Christian territory of having no one to feud with. At least they’re getting a nice long reign out of it though and with those shirts selling as strong as they do, the team isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Post match Sheamus says he’s had it with all this losing. Every time he looks at one of these losses, he sees one weak link and that’s going to change. That means a Brogue Kick to Barrett, which draws out the Wyatts to destroy the remainder of the League, complete with the fans singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. So there’s the face turn for the Wyatts, though let’s look at this League thing for a minute.

Did Sheamus forget that whole THEY WON AT WRESTLEMANIA part? Barrett knocked Woods silly to set up the win but now he’s kicked out after one loss? As has been proven already, it seems that New Day should have won at Wrestlemania to set this up, especially since they won here like the Wrestlemania match meant nothing. It’s bad storytelling and really should have been fixed before it became a stupid moment.

Vince goes to leave the arena but tells Renee Young that Shane is only in charge temporarily. He’s leaving early because this is going to be a disaster and he doesn’t want to watch the ship go down.

Summer Rae vs. Sasha Banks

Summer actually gets promo time and says if she was in charge of Bad and Blonde last night, they wouldn’t have wound up flat on their faces like Sasha did. Banks is back in the shorts tonight. She grabs the mic away from Summer and reminds us that she is in fact the Boss before slapping Summer in the face. Summer begs off like a heel should and suckers Sasha in to a neck snap across the middle rope. We’re in a chinlock thirty seconds in but Sasha is quickly up with a snapmare and running knees to the chest for two. The Bank Statement makes Summer tap at 1:40.

Shane McMahon is talking to Apollo Crews.

Apollo Crews vs. Tyler Breeze

This is Crews’ main roster debut after only a few months down in NXT. Then again when you have those natural gifts, it’s not expected that you’ll see him in developmental that long. Crews starts fast with a pop up powerslam for two, followed by a suplex from Breeze for the same. We’re already in the chinlock and it would be nice for Crews to at least look….something. He’s just kind of there and ignoring that someone has him in a chinlock. Crews pops up with the gorilla press and standing moonsault, followed by the lifting powerbomb for the pin at 1:52. Typical debut squash.

Clips of Charlotte and Roman Reigns on the Today Show.

Here’s Reigns to open the second hour with even louder booing than the previous night. During the entrance, JBL says Reigns is so happy to finally be on top of the mountain. That would be back on top of the mountain actually because this is his third reign which is supposed to mean more than the first two. The people boo him again but Reigns says he’s not a bad guy. He’s not a good guy either. No he’s just THE guy because he won the World Title in the biggest Wrestlemania of all time. If anyone wants to come get this title from him, he’s not going anywhere.

This brings out Chris Jericho, who brags about all his successes, which are far stronger than anything Reigns has ever done. Jericho stops though and calls out the fans for their stupid chants because they’re not going to hijack the show. Fans: “WE ARE IDIOTS!” Jericho rips on the internet favorite AJ Styles, which brings out Styles himself.

Before he can say anything though, here’s Kevin Owens. Again nothing is said though because Sami Zayn comes out, likely due to his leash to Owens getting a bit too tight. Owens and Zayn go right at it and fight to the floor with Zayn hitting a big flip dive. AJ is sent outside and Jericho eats a spear.

Of note: Zayn seemed to land awkwardly on that flip dive and BOLTED to the back with his arm dangling by his side. He ran off while the lights were down so most people couldn’t see him but it was definitely visible.

We look back at Vince agreeing to let Shane run Raw.

Back from a break and Shane makes a four way between Zayn, Owens, Jericho and Styles for the #1 contendership. Reigns thinks that’s just fine.

Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler

Before the match, Corbin says all you need to know about him is this trophy. Ziggler hammers away in the corner but gets elbowed in the face for his efforts. A forearm knocks Ziggler off the apron and we take a break. Back with Ziggler in a nerve hold and the fans cheering for a beach ball because some nitwit fan felt the need to pull one out and bat it around.

This would be during the Raw debut of an NXT talent that the same people probably begged to be promoted for months while chanting for NXT. I’d also be willing to bet that they’ll blame Vince for not pushing Corbin properly while Vince’s reaction is “they saw him in his first match and would rather play with a beach ball.” BUT THEY’RE JUST HAVING FUN! Anyway Corbin misses a charge and hits the post, setting up a neckbreaker for two. Deep Six gets the same for Corbin and they head outside into the crowd for the double countout at 8:32.

Rating: D+. This was an awkward one as Ziggler was kind of being squashed but is too big of a star for that treatment and tried to fight back but couldn’t make it work. Corbin looked good but I’m not sure why they didn’t just have him get the win here. It’s not like Ziggler can’t bounce back from a dozen losses or anything like that so just give Corbin the big win here. At least he didn’t lost though.

Post match Corbin gives him the End of Days on the floor.

We look back at Lesnar destroying Ambrose last night.

Here’s Zack Ryder with something to say. When Ryder was a kid he got to meet Razor Ramon and hold the Intercontinental Title. Well last night they took another picture with Ramon holding Ryder’s title, which makes for a really good pair of photos. Ryder thanks his dad (in the front row) but here’s Miz to interrupt. Last night Ryder stole what belongs to Miz and now it’s time to show that Ryder is just a flash in the pan. That means it should be time for a title shot right now. Ryder says Woo Woo Woo let’s do this.

Intercontinental Title: Zack Ryder vs. The Miz

Ryder is defending of course. Miz can’t get in an early Reality Check so Ryder dropkicks him for two. A baseball slide sends Miz into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Ryder getting knocked to the floor like the jobber that he is. Ryder fights back with some clotheslines but misses a dropkick, setting up the low DDT for two. The Rough Ryder misses but Ryder counters a suplex with a neckbreaker. I’ve always liked that counter.

The Elbow gets two on Miz but the Broski Boot misses. They head outside in front of Zack’s dad, so as you might expect, Miz is shoved down by Ryder Sr. To be fair, Zack’s dad is in better shape than half the roster. Fans: “MR. RYDER!” This brings out Maryse of all people (Miz’s wife) to slap Papa Ryder in the face, which is enough of a distraction for Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin and the title at 10:26.

Rating: D. Yeah this didn’t work. You can push Ryder as having a big moment all you want but at the end of the day, he’s still the same Zack Ryder who has been a jobbing goon for years now. It would be a stretch to have him beat Miz in the first place and an even bigger stretch to have him beat Miz to retain the title. As I’ve said already though, this was pretty clearly Neville’s spot and he would have fit better, but I’m not sure who else they could have put here, especially if Miz is just getting the title back so soon.

Also of note: Lillian started to get in the ring to announce a match before Miz came out at all. This led to what looked like quite an argument at ringside which went on for a bit between Lillian and a producer.

Owens says he lost the title because he was in the ring with six other guys so the loss was hardly fair. Last night Sami Zayn stole the title from him but now it’s on to bigger and better things, like winning the WWE World Title. Sami cost him the Intercontinental Title last night but he’s not costing him the World Title tonight. The road to KO Mania II begins tonight.

The Vaudevillains are coming on Smackdown.

All of the women including Lita come for the formal presentation of the Women’s Title. Lita talks about not having many role models to look up to as a kid. That’s not the case for the youngest generation today though because this division has never been stronger. Charlotte is introduced but the fans cut her off by wanting some Bayley. She says this title is about all the women in this ring who made this happen and because of all the fans…..who won’t stop singing about how they want Bayley. JBL: “These people are rude.”

Charlotte finally goes with the heel stuff by saying she won the title, but now the fans are on a WOMEN’S WRESTLING chant. The real credit goes to Ric Flair though because she got her here. The energy from the fans fueled her to her victory. It makes her laugh that she hasn’t even been here for a year while some of the less successful women have been here seven or eight years.

Sasha and Becky walk out and the rest of the women follow, save for Natalya. Somehow this turns into an argument over the Harts and the Flairs because that’s still a thing they’re pushing. Also ignore the fact that we just saw Charlotte vs. Natalya and haven’t gotten Sasha vs. Charlotte in a one on one feud yet. Natalya puts her in the Sharpshooter until Ric makes the save.

AJ Styles says it’s a new beginning and the start of a new era. That new era is going to be phenomenal.

Video on Primo and Epico, who really like Puerto Rico. This might actually be a downgrade from Los Matadores.

Usos vs. Dudley Boyz

Tables match. It’s a brawl to start of course and they head outside as JBL talks about his tables matches against Bubba and D-Von. Jimmy gets slammed to set up What’s Up but Bubba won’t do GET THE TABLES. The Usos pop up and dive onto the Dudleyz and we take a break. Back with Jey breaking up a superplex through the table as the fans are almost entirely behind the Dudleyz.

Jimmy dives over a table and onto Bubba with a splash. A double superkick breaks up a double powerbomb attempt, followed by the Usos running the barricade for a double dive. Back in and the Superfly splashes miss but drive the Usos through the tables. Apparently that’s enough to give the Dudley Boyz the win at 8:53, even though it’s long since been established that you have to drive them through a table using an offensive move. They’re not announced as the winners and JBL acknowledges that it was an early bell.

Rating: D. A lot of these matches really aren’t working for me and a lot of that is due to this match not needing to happen. I’d assume we’ll get a third match between them soon enough because the world is waiting on seeing who gets the advantage in a feud that isn’t interesting in the first place. The Usos need a new direction because they’re getting less and less interesting every time they come out.

Sami Zayn says he’s been in every kind of match around the world. He talks about wrestling around the world when Kevin Owens jumps him and gives him a powerbomb through a table.

Post break the Dudleyz are still at ringside yelling…..and here come Enzo and Cass to the pop of the night. Cole: “If you haven’t got a sample of them…..well some would say you’re in for a treat.” The fans start a loud HOW YOU DOIN chant before Enzo talks about being a smack talker skywalker with a lightsaber in his hand. The Dudleyz are still standing in the aisle and Enzo thinks they’re jealous because they’re ugly.

Bubba and D-Von look almost scared at how stupid this sounds but Enzo says he’ll use the gift of jab to knock that lazy eye back into place. Enzo: “Fall back like your hairline!” Cass invites the Dudleyz down for a fight but they back off like true heels. That’s enough for Cass to declare them SAWFT to wrap this up. Yeah the insults were kind of lame but this was all about the delivery and the reaction and these guys look like stars.

Zayn is officially out of the four way but a replacement will be named.

Ryder gets his rematch on Smackdown.

Dr. Phil will be the guest star next week. Why? No reason of course but he’s a celebrity and therefore interesting.

Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles vs. ???

The mystery entrant is……Cesaro, who was the most likely option and very well received by the fans. If nothing else we get a cool new entrance as Cesaro comes out in a tear away suit with trunks underneath. AJ and Jericho fight in one corner with the other two across the ring before it’s off to AJ vs. Cesaro to a very nice reaction. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker drops AJ for two and we take a break.

Back with Jericho suplexing Styles but Cesaro gets back in, only to have Owens break up the Swing. The big guys head outside again as Jericho loads up a superplex on AJ, only to have Owens and Cesaro come back in to make it a Tower of Doom. With everyone else down, Cesaro starts running the corners for European uppercuts, only to have Owens get a boot up. AJ enziguris Kevin but walks into Swiss Death. Jericho clotheslines Cesaro outside but gets jumped by his fellow Canadian.

The package side slam gets two on Jericho, who avoids a Cannonball. The Lionsault hits knees though, only to have AJ hit the springboard 450 for two of his own. Owens gets back again and tells AJ to stay down with his stupid haircut but Cesaro gets back in and sends both of them into the corner for rotating European uppercuts. Jericho takes over a third corner and now it’s time for triple rotating uppercuts.

Chris breaks it up but dives into the Swing as it’s all Cesaro at this point. Owens superkicks AJ to block a springboard and there’s the Pop Up Powerbomb for two on Styles. A Codebreaker gets the same on Owens with Cesaro making the save. Cesaro gets caught in the Walls but he reverses into the Sharpshooter to a big reaction. AJ makes the save with the forearm to Cesaro and Peles Owens to the floor, only to eat a Codebreaker for two. A quick backslide attempt has Jericho in trouble but AJ keeps rolling forward into the Clash for the pin and the title shot at 16:44.

Rating: B+. This match was a blast with four potential winners until Styles pulled off the big surprise pin. I’m not sure where Cesaro goes after this as you would assume Sami vs. Owens for Payback so maybe Cesaro gets Jericho. Styles vs. Reigns could be something interesting if they build it up properly but it could also be a borderline disaster with the fans booing Reigns out of the building.

AJ celebrated for a very long time after the show went off the air.

Overall Rating: B-. I had a good time here, despite some big holes in a lot of what was going on. The Raw after Wrestlemania isn’t about the in ring action but rather all the events that take place. Cesaro returning, Shane taking over Raw (and seems to be more off camera than the Authority, which is already a huge plus) and a bunch of debuts are a good sign and there should be some fun matches going into Payback, even though a lot of them aren’t hard to figure out. This may not have been a great, blow away show but it showed some promise going forward which is all it needed to do.

Results

New Day b. Sheamus/King Barrett – Midnight Hour to Barrett

Sasha Banks b. Summer Rae – Bank Statement

Apollo Crews b. Tyler Breeze – Lifting powerbomb

Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a double countout

Miz b. Zack Ryder – Skull Crushing Finale

Dudley Boyz b. Usos – The Usos went through tables

AJ Styles b. Chris Jericho, Cesaro and Kevin Owens – Styles Clash to Jericho

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

I can’t stand this match.

If anyone has been following my stuff recently, you know I can’t stand this story. I have yet to see any reason for this match to take place but we’re getting this disaster of a mess because it’s Wrestlemania and therefore we’re getting a seven man ladder match. We have seven guys in this thing and most of them have almost no reason to be in there.

This should be all about Zayn vs. Owens (and preferably without ladders) so I’m not even going to bother talking about the other five guys (Stardust, The Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Sin Cara and Zack Ryder in case you’re reading this in thirty years). They’re not going to win and I’m not going to pretend otherwise.

So yeah it’s all about those two but the question is who wins. I think they’re going with Owens, likely to set up something with Zayn one on one in a month. Owens winning doesn’t make sense in a regular match but him surviving in a big mess is straight out of AJ Lee surviving everyone at Wrestlemania XXX. It’s stupid but just go with it.

I’m sure there will be enough high spots for everyone and we’ll get people laying around for ten minutes after a bump they would get up from in five seconds otherwise but IT’S A BIG LADDER MATCH!!! That means it’s cool right? Or at least Stephanie thinks so because she gave it to us and knows everything that’s best for business. It’s not like there’s another match where you could throw people into the ring to get them on the card and have them do nothing. No instead let’s have a ladder match where no one gets to shine in a title match. Just get it over with already and move on from this illogical nonsense.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

And it was an absolute disaster.

Let me put it this way: we left over an hour early because it was so boring and we were so sick of being there. Never in my life have I seen such a disaster in one place and it can be summed up in a few major issues.

1. TOO MANY PEOPLE. This was the most packed Axxess session of the week and a lot of that is due to them cutting it down to three sessions on Saturday to make room for an hour in between. If that’s the case, they need to add the fourth back immediately as there were too many people in this mess to possibly have any real fun.

2. Find a better way to organize it. The problem here is there’s no way of knowing who is where because the only schedule you get is on the WWE about three minutes before the session starts. The lineups change (more on that in a second) at the halfway point, or at 4pm in our case. The new schedule was unveiled at 3:57pm. How in the world is that the best they can do?

3. Bad lineup. Here’s the list of people advertised for the four hour session:

Sheamus

Sasha Banks

Dolph Ziggler

AJ Styles

Jim Duggan

Kane

Cesaro

Jake Roberts

Michelle McCool

There were a few other names, including Ted DiBiase inside the Elimination Chamber. Now here’s the list of people who were actually in the second half.

Ascension

Becky Lynch

Summer Rae

Sgt. Slaughter

Cody Rhodes

Mandy

Tyler Breeze

Cesaro

Darren Young (inside the Chamber replacing DiBiase)

King Barrett

David Otunga (replacing AJ Styles)

Jim Duggan

Look at that second list and tell me who you would stand in line for two hours to see. Cesaro maybe? Perhaps King Barrett? There were actually people who were walking out of lines when they found out about the switch because, simply put, would you stand in line to meet David Otunga?

What this show needed was some groups of wrestlers to meet. Like say the League of Nations (Or at least three of them as Alberto Del Rio was a VIP guest. New Day and Edge are regular guests tomorrow, but ALBERTO DEL RIO is a VIP guest?) or the Social Outcasts or three or four NXT stars (yes stars, as the NXT people we had were Mandy (hasn’t debuted yet), Peyton Royce and Billie Kaye. Yeah there was an NXT show going on (which you couldn’t get near unless you were there at the beginning) and apparently wrestling a few minutes kept you from being able to sign autographs.

The whole thing felt like a job we had to get through instead of something we got to do. I get the idea that you need to make as much money as you can, but I have a major issue with what you’re getting at an event like this. I shouldn’t only be able to meet one person in that span of time. There is no way that should happen and it’s really not acceptable.

Like I said, put a group of people at the end of a line or something like that or have some better names (I’m sorry but I don’t care to sit around waiting to meet Michelle McCool, Darren Young or Candace Michelle.) available. WWE has an army of talent and that’s really the best they can get out there?

Two years ago the legends booth was the Wild Samoans/Lanny Poffo and then Ricky Steamboat/Paul Orndorff. This year I believe one booth (the NXT booth) had more than one person as a guest. Yeah these people might be at multiple sessions but so what? Oh no: they have to sit there and sign autographs for more than two hours at a time. I think they’ll survive.

Now that all being said, there were a few fun moments.

I met Jake Roberts. Uh yeah that’s about it for that. He was very quiet and seemed to want to move the line along quickly. Not rude or anything but really quick.

Linda McMahon of all people was walking around and I got a quick handshake, even though she really seemed to want to get out of there.

I got a hello from Dolph Ziggler as he was on his way to his booth.

There was a cool memorabilia section with all of the statues (Andre, Dusty Rhodes, Bruno Sammartino and Ultimate Warrior) and A LOT of stuff from the Hall of Fame class. Other than that there was some random stuff like a Goldust bodysuit, the Ultimate Warrior’s ring gear from the 1991 Royal Rumble, the Million Dollar Title, an Undertaker costume and Seth Rollins’ white outfit from last year. There was also a collection of really cool posters from each Wrestlemania, along with Brock’s ring gear from the Undertaker match, Eddie’s boots from 2005, Harley Race’s robe from Wrestlemania III and the tights Edge wore at Wrestlemania XVII, along with a bunch of other stuff.

Overall though, this was a VERY bad event because of how much they tried to cram in there without having the first thought of how to organize it. The biggest problem though was probably the lineup. At the end of the day, I need some better options than what I was given and I really shouldn’t have Cesaro and King Barrett as my top choices to wait an hour and a half to see. Just a disorganized mess that felt like a major cash grab instead of anything worth seeing.

Pictures of all the memorabilia and some cool stuff coming later.

Wrestlemania XXIX
Date: April 7, 2013
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 80,676
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s hard to believe this show was almost a year ago. The main event is of course Rock vs. Cena II in the sequel that not a lot of people wanted to see. Other than that we have CM Punk challenging the Streak and HHH vs. Brock Lesnar in another sequel that not a lot of people wanted to see. I wasn’t too hot on this show live but Wrestlemania is always worth checking out. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett is defending. Miz backflips out of an early belly to back suplex attempt and gets two off a fast rollup. He tries to jump over Barrett in the corner though and gets kicked in the ribs to give the champion control. Barrett: “How awesome is he now?” Miz is laid on the top rope and a running knee to his ribs gets two. Barrett loads up his boot to the face with Miz in the ropes but Miz gets his own foot up instead.

The Reality Check gets two for Miz but both guys escape finishers. Winds of Change gets a close two for Wade but Miz ducks the Bull Hammer and hooks the Figure Four. Barrett is quickly into the ropes though and pops up with Wasteland for two. Miz picks the leg and takes Barrett to the mat for the Figure Four and the title out of nowhere.

Rating: C. This was perfectly fine as they wanted to fire the fans up before the show got started. It’s amazing how far these two have fallen in the last year as Miz is floundering even more and Barrett is a one note character. This result wouldn’t mean anything as Barrett got the title match the very next night.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie talks about Hurricane Sandy hitting New Jersey back in October and destroying a lot of the Jersey Shore. But the people of New Jersey fought back and rose up along with New York because they’re unbreakable and unstoppable.

The opening video talks about moments that change the world forever and how they make time stand still.

I still like the female part of that I’m Coming Home song.

Sheamus/Randy Orton/Big Show vs. Shield

The three guys had been having issues with Shield for months now. At this point, Shield still hasn’t lost a six man tag and Big Show isn’t trustworthy but he’s a necessary ally. Basically everyone thought Orton was going to be the one to turn on his partners here though. Thankfully Shield doesn’t come from the top of the stadium this time. Reigns starts with Sheamus and they slug it out in the corner. The cameras are all over the place as they keep switching angles.

A running ax handle puts Reigns down and a clothesline is good for one. Orton comes in and drops a knee before hitting the Garvin Stomp. Rollins comes in but walks into a dropkick followed by ten right hands in the corner. The fans are WAY into this so far. Back to Sheamus who gets his knee dropkicked out, allowing Ambrose to come in for some fast stomping. The fans are even more into Ambrose but he walks into a powerslam for two. Sheamus goes to tag Orton but Big Show tags himself in instead.

Show rips the vest off Ambrose for the chop in the corner but Dean tries a chop of his own. That just makes Big Show mad so he hits ten straight chops. Dean dropkicks Big Show in the knee just like Sheamus got earlier and it’s back to Rollins who tries to keep Big Show down. Shield starts their fast tags as Cole says they’re like a swarm of hornets. Rollins hits some running knees to the head for two before it’s back to Reigns for a chinlock. Show suplexes his way to freedom but Rollins knocks Orton to the floor.

The giant backdrops Rollins from his knees and the hot tag brings in Sheamus. The Irishman rips the vest off of Rollins for the ten forearms. Ambrose gets a tag and is immediately caught in the ten forearms as well. There’s the rolling fireman’s carry to Ambrose and another one to Rollins who lands on Dean. Reigns pulls Sheamus outside though and the double teaming begins.

Orton is whipped into Rollins to put both guys down but Shield throws Rollins back inside. The Triple Bomb to Sheamus is broken up by a Big Show spear in a nice visual and everyone is down. Show reaches out for a tag but Orton takes it himself, ticking Big Show off. Randy loads up the RKO on Ambrose but has to catch a springboarding Rollins in an RKO. Reigns comes in with the spear though and puts Dean on top for the pin as Big Show watches from the apron.

Rating: C+. It’s amazing that Shield is actually still together a year later and have become even more dominant. I thought they would win the match coming into this and I’m glad the first loss wasn’t here at Wrestlemania. The match wasn’t bad but it didn’t have the time or the near falls that make most Shield matches awesome. Still though, good opener and Big Show was somewhat justified in his actions.

Big Show yells at Orton post match and knocks out both of his partners.

Music video on Rock vs. Cena II with the theme of legacy vs. redemption.

Snooki is here.

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

This is a simple idea: how big of a guy can Ryback Shell Shock? Henry also choked Ryback during a bench press challenge a few weeks earlier. Ryback was on fire a few months before this but has fallen through the floor in the time since. They stare each other down to start before Ryback wins an early slugout. Some clotheslines put Henry against the ropes but he runs Ryback over to a big pop. A powerslam gets two for Henry and we get a Sexual Chocolate chant.

Ryback can’t suplex him but Mark lifts Ryback up and places him on the apron for a ram into the buckle. Back in and Henry pounds on the spine before we hit the bearhug. Ryback is thrown outside but he dives back inside at two. The bearhug goes on again but Ryback fights out and drives Mark into the corner. There’s the Meat Hook and Ryback easily picks Mark up for the Shell Shock, drawing Ryback’s first pop of the match. Henry grabs the ropes though and falls onto Ryback for the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing but a slow power match here though the Shell Shock attempt looked good. The booking still doesn’t make sense to me as Henry would challenge Cena to a title match tomorrow night before Ryback closed the show by turning heel and getting the title shot on PPV. Why not have Ryback win here, have Henry answer the open challenge, and THEN have Ryback go after Cena, saying Henry almost beat Cena (he did) so imagine what Ryback could do. The whole thing was backwards. Anyway the match wasn’t great and they only kind of did the Shell Shock, which was the whole point of the thing.

Post match Henry goes back in to stomp on Ryback some more but the Big Guy fights back and Shell Shocks Henry. Again, why not have that be the ending?

The announcers play with the new WWE action figures. JBL beats up the Rey Mysterio toy in some nice continuity.

Video on the WWE partnering with the Special Olympics.

Some Special Olympians are here with Stephanie McMahon and Chris Christie.

Tag Team Titles: HELL NO vs. Dolph Ziggler/Big E. Langston

This is Langston’s in ring debut and his team is challenging. AJ is with them as well and Dolph is Mr. Money in the Bank. Bryan’s beard is only a foot or so long here. We get a nice bit of continuity to start with Ziggler kissing AJ on the apron after the bell, allowing Bryan to kick him in the head for a close two. The YES Kicks have Ziggler in trouble but he dives to the corner after ducking the big one. Both power guys come in now and it’s Kane taking over with right hands to the face, only to be caught in a series of backbreakers.

Langston runs Kane over and it’s back to Ziggler who gets two off a dropkick. Dolph doesn’t stay in long as he tags Big E. back in, only to have him get caught by a running DDT. Now it’s already back to Ziggler who walks into a side slam. Kane misses the top rope clothesline but Ziggler almost entirely botches the Fameasser, meaning it’s only good for two. A hard clothesline drops Ziggler but Big E. breaks it up at the last second. Langston nails the Big Ending but Bryan takes him to the floor. AJ throws in the briefcase but misses the big show, allowing Kane to hit the chokeslam, setting up Bryan’s Swan Dive to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. This was more short than anything else. They seemed to be teasing leaving Ziggler fresh so he could cash in later which people were expecting like the birth of a child at this point. HELL NO was a good team and a good stepping stone for Bryan to the main event scene in the coming months.

Make-A-Wish video starring John Cena.

Fandango vs. Chris Jericho

This is the dancing feud so Fandango has a full dance troupe with his original brunette dance partner, soon to be replaced by Summer Rae. It’s also Fandango’s in ring debut under this name. Fandango dances to start but is quickly taken down to the mat by Jericho. A hard slap sends the dancer to the floor before Jericho brings him back inside and hammers away in the corner. The fans are entirely behind the Canadian here.

Fandango jumps over him in the corner but walks into the Codebreaker to send him out to the floor. A hard baseball slide drops Fandango again and a BIG dive off the top knocks him to the floor. Back in and Jericho slaps him in the face but Fandango enziguris Jericho down to break up the springboard dropkick. Fandango stomps away before putting on a chinlock as Jericho’s forehead is cut open.

Jericho fights up and runs Fandango over with some shoulders before hitting a top rope dropkick. A Thesz Press of all things drops Fandango and there’s an enziguri to make up for earlier. Fandango sends him shoulder first into the post to take over again and the guillotine legdrop gets two.

Back up and Jericho counters a dropkick into a Walls attempt but Fandango kicks away. He goes up again but Jericho shakes the ropes to bring him down. A superplex is countered by a series of headbutts, only to have Jericho avoid another legdrop attempt. The Lionsault connects but Jericho tweaks his knee, allowing Fandango to small package him for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t bad for the most part and I’m not sure I can argue against it being the biggest upset in Wrestlemania history. Fandango may have wrestled as Johnny Curtis before but this was his debut as the character, making it a big deal to have him win here. Jericho has always been great at making people look good and that’s exactly what he did here.

We look back at the pre-show match with Miz winning the Intercontinental Title.

Another video on Rock vs. Cena, this time focusing on Rock and his fans. By this I mean fans saying Rock’s catchphrases.

We get a video of classic Wrestlemania moments set to the song playing in the Rocky Balboa vs. Apollo Creed fight in the first Rocky movie. This leads into a Sean Combs medley.

We recap Del Rio vs. Swagger. It’s a basic story: Del Rio is from Mexico and Swagger’s new manager Zeb Colter is very anti-foreigner. He’s as close to a white supremacist as you’ll get in modern WWE and rants about how evil foreigners are crippling America. The government won’t do anything about it so Jack Swagger will instead. He won the Elimination Chamber to earn the title shot here and has injured Ricardo’s ankle coming into the match.

Del Rio had turned face late last year and was on a roll as champion. He was suddenly a patriot who loved America but was also proud of being from Mexico. The character worked very well and his matches got about a hundred times better. Even I was digging Del Rio around this time while I’m not generally a good fan.

World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

After all that, Swagger doesn’t even get an entrance. AT WRESTLEMANIA. Colter goes into a rant about how horrible this country is because of how many other languages people speak now, including Chinese and Yiddish. However, Swagger will fix everything tonight by winning the World Heavyweight Championship. Del Rio wears an old school robe and after the big match intros we’re ready to go.

Del Rio quickly sends him to the floor and sends Swagger into the announcers’ table but gets trippled by Colter. Back inside and Jack sends him shoulder first into the post to take over. A quick rollup gets two for the champion but Jack drops him with a kick to the head. The Vader Bomb gets two but Del Rio counters Jack instead of having his knee wrapped around the post. Back in and Jack runs into a boot to the face before taking a few clotheslines to put the champion back in control.

Alberto stomps on Colter’s hand for good measure before the low superkick gets two. The armbreaker is countered into a kind of powerslam for a very close two as Jack is in control again. Jack takes out the knee and puts on the Patriot Lock but Alberto quickly kicks away. He misses the enziguri in the corner though and Jack stays up. Del Rio comes right back with a series of forearms in the corner and the Backstabber is good for two.

The champion hits a German suplex but takes his time following up. His cross armbreaker is countered into the gutwrench powerbomb to give Swagger a two count and there’s the Patriot Lock again. Alberto is almost to the ropes but Jack pulls him back into the middle. Instead Del Rio pulls him down into the armbreaker but Jack counters that into the Patriot Lock.

This time Alberto makes the ropes before countering another gutwrench suplex into a kick to the head. He limps into the corner enziguri for two as Colter puts Swagger’s leg on the ropes. Zeb goes even more evil by kicking Ricardo’s leg out to draw Del Rio outside, allowing Jack to send him into the barricade. Back in and Alberto grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere to retain the title. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: C+. This was getting good in the middle but they ran to the finish almost immediately. There’s a chemistry there and I’d love to see them do stuff on the mat and trade submissions for fifteen minutes. Instead it didn’t even get eleven and they cut off the technical stuff to go for the manager. That being said, it’s still a good match but it could have been great.

WWE supports the National Guard.

We recap Undertaker vs. CM Punk. As usual, Punk is trying to break the Streak but this time there’s an added caveat. Undertaker’s long term manager Paul Bearer recently passed away and Punk interrupted Undertaker’s tribute to him to promise to break the Streak. He even stole Bearer’s Urn and tossed it around like a football before dropping it on the concrete.

CM Punk vs. Undertaker

Living Colour plays Punk to the ring and Heyman is still at his side here. As always, Undertaker’s entrance is just freaking cool. Punk slaps him in the face to start and fires off forearms in the corner. Undertaker misses another big right hand and gets slapped in the face, so this time he just kicks Punk in the face. Punk is thrown out to the floor and into the timekeeper’s area where Undertaker nails him in the head again. The Dead Man loads up the announce table rams Punk into the post before being thrown back inside.

There’s a right hand to the head as the dueling chants begin. Taker drops the leg on the apron before driving his shoulder into Punk’s to set up Old School. Punk pulls him down off the top rope with an armdrag though and starts ramming elbows into Undertaker’s head. In something I can’t remember seeing from anyone else, Punk hits Old School to Undertaker. You can see how much he’s loving this and the facials are making it so much better.

Punk nails a Russian legsweep and cranks on Undertaker’s right arm. That goes nowhere as Undertaker puts him into the corner and hammers away but hits his own knee on a charge. A baseball slide puts Undertaker on the floor and Punk drops a top rope ax handle (with the finger poke of course). Back in and Punk gets two off a neckbreaker but Undertaker comes back with right hands. A high kick gets two for Punk as Heyman shouts about CM getting more and more momentum.

We hit the chinlock on the taller guy but Taker quickly fights up, only to charge into a boot to the face. Punk tries another Old School but crotches himself on the top rope. A big right hand puts Punk on the floor but Heyman gets on the apron to block the Taker Dive. The distraction lets Punk hit another neckbreaker for two. Punk nails the running knee in the corner followed by the Macho Elbow for another near fall. Taker escapes a GTS attempt and plants Punk with a chokeslam for two of his own.

A big series of right hands has Punk covering up in the corner and it’s the snake eyes and big boot combo but Punk leg lariats Undertaker down to block the boot. The dueling chants pick up again before Punk sends Taker back to the floor. An uppercut slows Punk down but he’s able to escape a Last Ride through the table. He kicks Undertaker in the head to set up the Macho Elbow onto the table, which doesn’t break. That always looks sick.

Both guys are down and Punk looks to have injured his leg. Punk is able to get back inside and we tease a countout until Undertaker dives back in at nine. Back in and Undertaker tries Hell’s Gate but can’t quite get it on. Punk flips over for two and hooks the Anaconda Vice. Undertaker’s shoulders stay down for two but he sits up and stares Punk in the eyes for a great counter.

The chokeslam is countered into the GTS but Taker bounces into the ropes and hits the Tombstone for a very close two. They slug it out but Punk’s shots have no effect. Taker loads up the chokeslam but Punk shoves the referee down. Heyman distracts Undertaker but Punk injures his knee by kicking Undertaker in the ribs. The Last Ride is countered by an urn shot for another close two. The GTS is countered into a Tombstone which is countered into a GTS which is countered into a Tombstone to make Undertaker 21-0.

Rating: B. I liked the match but it’s still not as good as it’s made out to be. The urn to the head into the Undertaker cover was done better at Wrestlemania X7 and I never bought Punk’s covers as serious threats. It’s still a good match and I was into it more than the match at Wrestlemania 27, but it’s still not Punk getting inches away from breaking the Streak like it’s been made out to be.

Undertaker picks up the Urn for a nice tribute to Bearer.

Ad for the Mick Foley DVD.

Video on Cena, focusing on redemption.

Michelle Beadle is here.

We recap HHH vs. Brock Lesnar. They started feuding the night after Extreme Rules 2012 when Lesnar broke HHH’s arm, setting up a match at Summerslam. Brock beat HHH by breaking his arm again and HHH thought about walking away. However, Lesnar attacked Vince and put him in the hospital. This fired up HHH enough to want a rematch here at Wrestlemania on the grandest stage of them all. Brock also broke Shawn Michaels’ arm and you know that’s too far for HHH.

It’s No DQ and if HHH loses he has to retire. This is of course completely different from the no holds barred match at Summerslam. From what I remember, a grand total of no one wanted to see a rematch but it’s HHH at Wrestlemania so you knew it had to happen. The stipulations dropped the interest even further.

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar

Shawn and Heyman are in the respective corners. As always, Brock looks nothing short of terrifying. HHH has powder all over himself as he comes out through a skull entrance. They slug it out to start and of course HHH gets the better of it. Remember when Brock just destroyed Cena and Big Show with right hands? Forget that, because they’re not HHH. A knee to the ribs finally puts Lesnar in control but they fall out to the floor. Lesnar is sent into the barricade and then into the announce table as HHH is dominating in the first minute.

Brock comes back with a chair but misses a swing and hits the steps. They head into the crowd with HHH clotheslining him back to ringside. Back in and HHH blocks the chair shot with a running knee before throwing Brock back to the floor. Brock goes head first into the steps but comes right back with an overhead belly to belly. There is a MASSIVE bruise on Brock’s left pectoral. Shawn is looking concerned as Brock suplexes HHH through the announce table and roars.

Another overhead belly to belly on to the remnants of the table have HHH reeling. Back in and Brock stomps away in the corner before charging into a boot. Not that it matters as he comes right back with a third belly to belly for two. HHH tries to elbow out of a German but gets thrown down again with ease. Another German gets two but HHH fires off right hands, only to be whipped over the corner and out to the floor.

Brock glares at Shawn long enough for HHH to come back with a big running clothesline. Another clothesline puts Brock in the timekeeper’s area and there’s a big chair shot to his back. Back in and Brock snaps off another German for two before knocking Shawn off the apron with a big right hand. Trips comes back again with a spinebuster because he’s capable of going move for move with Brock Lesnar. A Pedigree is countered into an F5 attempt but Brock lets go to avoid a superkick from Shawn. It’s Michaels taking the F5 instead, only to have Lesnar take the Pedigree for two.

The sledgehammer is brought in but Brock ducks the shot and takes a massive F5 for two. They head outside again with HHH being whipped hard into the steps. The steps bounce off HHH’s head before Brock throws them into the ring for some fun. Another shot with the steps is good for two as the fans aren’t really responding to a lot of these near falls. Even Heyman says that’s enough but HHH slaps Brock in the face.

A slugout (won by HHH of course) is countered into the Kimura but HHH drives him into the corner for the break. The same hold is countered the same way before Brock puts him on the middle rope to slap the hold on again. HHH lifts Brock into the air and puts him down with another spinebuster to break. Brock misses a charge into the post and HHH hits a hard low blow to put both guys down. HHH crushes the arm against the post with a chair as

Shawn is laid against the barricade with his head up watching. Another chair shot to the arm crushes it against the steps and HHH puts on a Kimura of his own. Heyman tries to interfere but walks into a superkick. Brock finally powers up and slams HHH down onto the steps for another break. HHH grabs the hold again and gets slammed down onto the steps one more time. There’s a third Kimura to Brock but he plants lifts HHH into the air, only to be countered into a DDT on the steps. A sledgehammer to the face sets up the Pedigree on the steps for the pin.

Rating: B. As mentioned earlier, the match was good but the interest just wasn’t there. The times when HHH was able to go punch for punch with Lesnar were just ridiculous but we live in HHH’s WWE anymore. At least he didn’t make Lesnar submit to an MMA hold and Lesnar got to break some stuff. The match is certainly entertaining and I can live with HHH winning at Wrestlemania, but they had to keep it going one more match as a result which was pure overkill.

Hall of Fame time. This year’s class includes Mick Foley, Trish Stratus, Bob Backlund, Booker T, Donald Trump and of course Bruno Sammartino.

Wrestlemania XXX is in New Orleans.

The new attendance record: 80,676.

WWE Championship: John Cena vs. The Rock

Twice in a lifetime. Rock is of course the crowd favorite and defending. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. Cena grabs a headlock to start as they have a lot of time to work with here. A hard shoulder puts Rock down before they do the exact same sequence with the roles reversed. Rock grabs a second headlock before throwing him down with a hiptoss. Cena bails for a bit before taking over with right hands and a hard whip into the corner.

The fans are entirely behind Rock here as he comes back with more right hands and a hard whip of his own. More mirroring of the other. Some shots to the chest have Cena in trouble but he comes back with a clothesline followed by a chinlock. Back up and a belly to belly gets two on Rock before we’re back in the hold again. Rock counters into a sleeper as the crowd is oddly quiet.

That goes nowhere so Rock grabs a Samoan drop to put both guys down again. Cena gets two off a fisherman’s suplex but misses the tackle. The STF doesn’t work either and Rock grabs his bad looking Sharpshooter. That goes nowhere as Cena powers out and initiates his finishing sequence, only to miss the Shuffle. A Rock Bottom is countered into a bad looking crossface (not the STF Cole you dolt) but Rock rolls out.

Now the Shuffle connects but the AA is countered into a spinebuster. The Elbow takes too long though and now the STF (JBL: “THERE is the STF Michael!”) goes on, only to have Rock power out of it. The Rock Bottom gets two and so does the AA, with the latter allegedly ripping Rock’s abdomen apart and giving him a hernia which means he’s probably never wrestling again because insurance companies don’t want to deal with that risk.

Cena misses the top rope Fameasser and now the Elbow connects for two. John rolls outside so Rock can recover a bit. Back in and Rock wins a slugout but tries a cross body which is of course easily caught. Cena looks bored catching him like that. The AA is countered into another Rock Bottom followed by more laying around. Rock tries the Elbow again complete with You Can’t See Me but he runs into the AA for two more. They slug it out yet again and Cena hits a Rock Bottom of his own for two.

John loads up the People’s Elbow just like last year but hangs onto the ropes when Rock gets up. The AA is countered into yet another Rock Bottom for yet another two. They counter finishers again until Rock nails a DDT to break the finisher streak at like 8. Back up and another Rock Bottom is countered into another AA to give Cena the title back.

Rating: B-. Now just to clarify, they did get in some finishers right? This was bordering on parody with all of those kickouts as they went from headlocks and shoulders to Rock Bottom/AA a go-go for the last ten minutes. It was entertaining for the most part but much like any other match, when you pound finishers into the ground like they, they stop meaning anything.

They say something we can’t hear and shake hands after the match. Cena leaves Rock alone in the ring and waits for him on the stage. They pose together to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The show is definitely entertaining and I shortchanged some stuff when I watched it live. My main criticism still holds up though: nothing felt big here. Even a year later, what is important here? Cena won the title, only to have Bryan charge up the ladder and become the real star after Cena feuded with Ryback for a few months. Lesnar and HHH had their real blowoff a month later. Punk vs. Undertaker was good but the real moment for Punk was at MITB.

Overall the show works well enough and is entertaining for a one off viewing, but it doesn’t feel like a big deal. The two main events are both rematches from the previous year and that isn’t the best idea for Wrestlemania. It didn’t help that the last three matches all had really obvious endings so it was more about just killing time rather than any intrigue. Still though, all three of those matches are at least good and there’s nothing really horrible so it’s definitely a solid show.

Ratings Comparison

The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

Original: D+

Redo: C

Shield vs. Randy Orton/Sheamus/Big Show

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Ryback vs. Mark Henry

Original: D

Redo: D

Dolph Ziggler/Big E. Langston vs. HELL NO

Original: C

Redo: D+

Fandango vs. Chris Jericho

Original: D

Redo: C

Jack Swagger vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. CM Punk

Original: B

Redo: B

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: B

John Cena vs. The Rock

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/07/wrestlemania-xxix-and-so-it-ends/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Smackdown
Date: March 24, 2016
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton

Brock is here for a rare Smackdown appearance so you know we’re getting closer and closer to Wrestlemania. There are two shows left before the biggest show of the year and things are ranging from hot to lukewarm at best so it should be interesting to see which one we get here tonight. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Non-title and Becky Lynch is on commentary. We’re not quite ready to go though as Charlotte promises to lead the WOO Revolution over Sasha and Becky in front of a record setting crowd in Dallas. Simple speech but rather efficient. Like any good heel champion, Charlotte is on the floor before anything can happen to her. Back in and Sasha flips her over for two before slapping the champ in the face.

Charlotte comes back with a kick to the face and a neckbreaker, giving us a good old fashioned WOO. We hit the chinlock before a big chop puts Banks down again. A Thesz press gets two on the champ but the double knees in the corner miss. They head outside for a minute and it’s Sasha being whipped into Becky. Charlotte takes her back inside for the Figure Eight, only to be small packaged to give Sasha the surprise pin at 4:56.

Rating: C. Not a great match as they didn’t have time but hopefully the intensity shown here is a good indication of what we’re going to be seeing in Dallas. They’re doing a good job of setting this up as a match where anyone can win, even though I can’t imagine Becky having much of a chance. Good TV match here though and that’s how you build to the big stuff.

Post match Becky gets in the ring for a Bex Plex to both of them, followed by Sasha giving Charlotte a Backstabber.

Here’s New Day for their weekly chat. We’re just ten days away from Wrestlemania XXXII and they’ll be having a match against the League of Nations. The League is so boring that they’re like the going to the DMV of WWE. If they were a Star Wars character, they would be the Jar Jar Binks of WWE. Or if they were another sports star they would be the Michael Jordan of baseball. As usual, this was all about how strong New Day sells the material instead of whatever they’re actually saying.

Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus

No Del Rio for some reason. Sheamus isn’t playing around here and throws Kofi into the corner for an early stomping. It’s not quite the Unicorn Stampede but Sheamus is hardly trained for such combat. Kofi gets back up for some stomping of his own to send Sheamus to the floor. A big standoff is teased but the power of Francesca II calms things down. Kofi gets tripped off the apron though and we take a break.

Back with Kofi still in trouble and Rusev shouting in some insults. We hit the chinlock with Sheamus clearly calling some spots, one of which seems to be missing a middle rope knee drop. Things get even worse for Sheamus as he misses a charge into the post to start Kofi’s comeback. There’s the Boom Drop and Kofi follows with a flip dive over the top to take out Sheamus again. Back in and Sheamus grabs a suplex slam for two before going for a turnbuckle pad. Rusev offers a distraction so New Day chases him off, only to have Barrett’s distraction set up the Brogue Kick for the pin on Kofi at 10:28.

Rating: C-. Kofi is getting better and better every week, to the point where I could easily see him going up to the main event after the New Day run is over. You have to give the League something before they get to the pay per view though and this was as fine as anything else, especially with them playing up the numbers advantage for the League.

Usos vs. Ascension

Viktor runs Jey over to start and it’s off to Konnor for a chinlock. That goes as far as a first minute chinlock is going to go as Jey fights up and sends Konnor into the corner. Everything breaks down and a double superkick puts Viktor away at 1:37.

Post match the Usos put Viktor through a table.

The Dudley Boyz don’t think much of the Usos as they’re only two time Tag Team Champions. They’ve beaten up Rikishi and they could beat up the Wild Samoans, but here’s Roman Reigns to interrupt. Reigns doesn’t like the way Bubba is disrespecting his family so let’s have a fight tonight.

Long video on Shane vs. Undertaker, the same one from Raw.

Dolph Ziggler/Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens/The Miz

Sami and Miz get things going as we have to hear about the other three guys being added to the Intercontinental Title match for the sake of making it way more of a mess than it needs to be. Sami works on the arm to start (there’s a safe idea) before it’s off to Ziggler for a rollup. Owens: “WE GET IT! YOU WENT TO COLLEGE!” Dolph’s headlock slows things down but Miz puts a knee into his ribs to take over.

Owens comes in and eats a dropkick, only to run away from Zayn. He teases leaving again but this time Miz will have nothing to do with that and grabs Kevin’s arm, allowing Zayn to get in a dive to take them out. Some elbows to the head have Owens in trouble and that’s about it for this dream match. I would say save it for Wrestlemania but apparently we wanted a seven way ladder match including a guy who has won one match in nearly two years. Ziggler comes in and gets stomped in the corner before a catapult puts him on the floor.

We take a break and come back with Ziggler blocking the backsplash with the only counter that people use for that move. The hot tag brings in Sami for his running clotheslines and a high cross body to Miz. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two as everything breaks down. Owens breaks up the Helluva Kick and a victory roll gets two on Miz. Both guys are down but now it’s time for Owens to walk out, only to have Sin Cara, Zack Ryder and Stardust stop him. Back in and Miz gives Owens a Skull Crushing Finale, setting up a superkick and Helluva Kick for the pin on Miz at 13:57.

Rating: C+. That scene with Ryder, Cara and Stardust coming out to stop Owens from leaving sums up every problem this title match has. If for whatever reason we can’t have Zayn vs. Owens, the best solution is to just add Miz and Ziggler to the mix. I’m not wild on it but it’s as good of a story as we can get. The other three can’t even get into a match on Smackdown and really do come off as people just there for the sake of being there. As usual, if you can eliminate something entirely and tell the same story, they’re really not necessary.

Post match Stardust comes in with the Queen’s Crossbow to Zayn. Ryder and Cara come in for the big brawl and it’s Ryder of all people standing tall.

Recap of Roman Reigns vs. HHH/Stephanie on Raw.

Roman Reigns vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Reigns comes through the entrance again. Bubba immediately hits the floor to yell at the fans which is why he’s such a great heel. Back in and a Superman Punch sends Ray right back out to the floor. The brawl heads outside and Ray is in even more trouble as Reigns slams him into the table over and over for a DQ at 1:52.

D-Von’s save attempt earns him a Superman Punch and some steps to the shoulder. Reigns spears Bubba for good measure.

Goldust is painting his face in the bathroom when R-Truth comes in to call him partner. They’re still not partners but Goldust denies coming down to help him on Monday. Somehow Truth knows that Goldust sleeps without clothes on so Goldust paints NO on Truth’s forehead. Truth looks in the mirror. “ON! IT’S ON!”

The Lucha Dragons are in the back to talk about how they can leave Wrestlemania with a title each. Cara leaves and Ryback comes in to talk about how much bigger and stronger he is than Kalisto. He can bench press Kalisto with one arm and ate that much weight for breakfast this morning. Ryback deserves the Wrestlemania spotlight and Kalisto can settle for a flashlight. Kalisto says he’ll win and leaves.

Tyler Breeze vs. AJ Styles

AJ starts with his striking sequence to send Breeze outside, setting up a springboard forearm. Breeze, who is announced for the Andre battle royal, knees AJ in the face but his superplex is broken up. Another Phenomenal Forearm is enough to pin Breeze at 2:03.

Here are Brock and Heyman to wrap things up. Heyman cuts off the speech by saying that his name is Paul Heyman and this is your main event of the evening. Brock is going to be your Wrestlemania moment, just like when he conquered the Streak. That still gets people to boo. That brings Heyman to the no holds barred street fight at Wrestlemania, which means Dean can use anything he can get his hands on against BROCK LESNAR.

It can be a chair, a table or a kendo stick but it won’t be enough. Now we have Mick Foley and Terry Funk handing Dean various weapons to use against Lesnar too. To shoot from the hip a bit, the only reason Funk and Foley are still alive is because Heyman’s prayers continue to go unanswered. What Ambrose doesn’t understand is that if Dean can get his hands on something, Brock can get his hands on as well. However, Brock can also get his hands on Dean and that’s just going to end badly.

Heyman invites Dean out to fight right now but he gets the Wyatt Family (minus Harper) instead. Brock seems to like the idea of being surrounded but here’s Dean to interrupt. Lesnar gets in a quick suplex to Rowan as Dean gets in, only to have Strowman take Brock’s head off with a clothesline. Dean’s distraction lets Brock suplex Strowman (first time for that I believe) before beating Lesnar down with the kendo stick. That’s fine with Brock who pops up and gives him an F5 to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling wasn’t great here but this was all about helping to set the stage for Wrestlemania. Things are really starting to shape up for the big night and they’re doing a better job of setting it up than they did last year. There are still some major issues on the pay per view of course but they’re doing what they can to fix some of them as fast as they can. This was a good enough building show and that’s exactly what it needed to be.

Results

Sasha Banks b. Charlotte – Small package

Sheamus b. Kofi Kingston – Brogue Kick

Usos b. Ascension – Double superkick to Viktor

Sami Zayn/Dolph Ziggler b. Kevin Owens/The Miz – Helluva Kick to Miz

Bubba Ray Dudley b. Roman Reigns via DQ when Reigns sent him into the announcers’ table

AJ Styles b. Tyler Breeze – Phenomenal Forearm

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 21, 2016
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton

The march of pain continues for Roman Reigns as we’re in one of the smarkiest towns in the world. There are also less than two weeks until Wrestlemania so this is the time when the really heavy lifting for the show has to be done. It’s going to be rather, shall we say, interesting to see how Reigns is greeted tonight so let’s get to it.

This show is dedicated to Mary Katharine Stewart. I’m actually not sure who that is.

We open with the now traditional long recap of last week’s show. I get the idea of keeping us up to date but cut these things down.

Here’s Stephanie to get things going. Apparently HHH isn’t here tonight and you have 60 seconds to get to the box office for refunds. That absence is of course due to corporate responsibilities and NOT due to Roman Reigns attacking him last week. That’s because Roman Reigns is stupid and opportunistic. How short sighted could he have been last week when he attacked HHH for revenge?

Cue Reigns to some VERY loud booing (expected of course). Stephanie goes into her patented voice but Reigns puts his hand over the mic and says the reason HHH isn’t here is because he knows the beating that would be coming to him. At Wrestlemania, he’s going into HHH and Stephanie’s stadium and taking their title. Stephanie loads up the slap but Reigns blocks it with an ease that far more people should have when Stephanie pulls that arm back. That’s it for Reigns, who again kept it short here. That’s the best thing they could have done here and it worked far better than I was expecting.

Kevin Owens vs. AJ Styles

Non-title and a very smart choice for an opener. Owens takes him to a knee with a headlock but AJ pops up into the dropdown and dropkick. They head to the floor and Owens gets in a hard whip to the barricade as we take a break. Back with AJ fighting out of a chinlock and scoring with an enziguri to put both guys down. The Pele misses and Owens takes his head off with a clothesline. A nice rack neckbreaker gets two for Owens but Owens misses the Cannonball.

AJ comes right back with the AA into a backbreaker for the same. Styles can’t get a top rope hurricanrana though and Owens debuts a frog splash for two. You know, because you debut a huge spot like that and have it get two. We get the ROH style slugout and AJ Peles him down again as we take a break.

Back again with AJ getting two more off his torture rack slam before heading up top. Owens is right there meet him, only to have AJ slip down into a sitout powerbomb with a nasty looking landing for two more. Cue Jericho though, only to have AJ grab the Calf Crusher anyway. That brings Jericho to the apron to break the hold though and Owens gets a rollup for the pin at 19:20.

Rating: B+. This felt like an ROH match and that’s the perfect way to start a show in front of this crowd. AJ losing is the right call and I was nervous that they would go for the 50/50 booking that has plagued them for so long. Thankfully they let these two beat the tar out of each other for a long time and the match worked as a result. Really good match but more importantly it was smart.

Post match Owens grabs the belt and says that everyone is wondering who will be facing him for the title at KO Mania. Cue Dolph Ziggler (DANG IT GET OUT OF HERE!) and Miz to argue with each other until Sami Zayn comes out. Miz calls him the skinny Seth Rogen as Owens leaves. Kevin says he’ll go to the Authority and get a triple threat match set up for the title shot tonight.

Earlier today, Dean Ambrose was in a pub to talk about how far Lesnar was going to have to go to beat him at Wrestlemania. Terry Funk of all people comes in and puts Dean over before giving him a chainsaw. Dean of course turns it on and slices through a table.

Stephanie makes Owens’ triple threat match for later.

We recap Shane returning last month to set up Undertaker vs. Shane. Various legends and Hall of Famers talk about how big it was, including Mick Foley, John Cena, Michael Hayes, Booker T., Chris Jericho, Edge, Steve Austin, Ric Flair and Jerry Lawler. They all think Shane is in over his head. You would think Shawn Michaels would have made an appearance here.

Here’s the League of Nations for a match but first of all we have to see last week’s beatdown of the New Day. This brings out New Day to call the League trash, complete with cards that call them trash. Kofi thinks Rusev has smelly feet and that the three of them would make a better set of kings than Barrett. That brings them to Sheamus, whose parents actually put the word SHAME in his name. Not to worry though because all of this could be cured with a simple bowl of BootyO’s because New Day ROCKS.

Big E. vs. Rusev

Rusev drops straight to the floor at the bell but Big E. throws him back in for the one man Unicorn Stampede. A big stomp has Rusev in trouble as we take an early break. Back with Rusev holding a chinlock before nailing a nice one footed dropkick for two. New Day is out after a beatdown during the break. Cole thinks this could be the most physical match at Wrestlemania because Cole isn’t that bright.

Big E. fights up again with the belly to belly but the Warrior splash hits knees. A Rock Bottom out of the corner drops Rusev for two and the fans are entirely behind New Day. Now the Warrior splash gets two and Woods is back up to start the brawl with the League. The Accolade is broken up with an electric chair but Big E. has to spear Sheamus through the ropes. That allows Kofi to kick Rusev in the head, setting up the Big Ending for the pin on Rusev at 11:03. Big E. gets a good reaction for the win.

Rating: C-. Good enough here but I’m worried that they might change the titles at Wrestlemania based on how many times the League has lost leading up to it. The key thing here though was the smart booking continues as they put out another match that people are going to care about and don’t focus on something they’re going to hate.

The Wyatt Family talks about rebirth and promises Dean Ambrose as a sacrifice tonight.

Here’s Big Show to talk about the Andre Memorial Battle Royal. JBL thinks Show has the best chance to repeat as the winner. Well given that he’s the only one who CAN repeat as the winner, you can’t argue there. Show talks about Andre’s legacy and how Andre was the greatest giant of all time. Last year it meant a lot to him to win the battle royal because he doesn’t win a lot of battle royals (right).

Cue the Social Outcasts to say they’re a combined Cinderella story. Axel says they’re more like Voltron and the Outcasts attack. Show grabs Slater by the throat but gets beaten down until Kane comes out for the save. The Outcasts are dispatched and Show hugs Kane, only to stupidly pose on the ropes, allowing Kane to chokeslam him down.

Stan Hansen Hall of Fame induction announcement. This is another deserved one.

Chris Jericho vs. Fandango

Just get AJ out here to cause the big upset already. Jericho takes over to start of course but stops to yell about how Fandango never beat him at Wrestlemania. Fandango gets in a few shots but misses the top rope legdrop. Cue AJ for a distraction so Fandango can get in a small package for two. Jericho pops back up with the Codebreaker for the pin at 2:10.

AJ comes down for the fight but Jericho bails. Styles says he’s competed all over the world except for one place, giving us a DRAMATIC POINT AT THE SIGN. We get the official challenge for Wrestlemania….which I could have sworn was already made.

Quick line from Mick Foley about how dangerous the Cell is.

Video on Shane’s training for the Cell, including clips from more legends talking about how tough Shane is. They seem to think that Undertaker is going to kill him anyway.

Here’s Kevin Owens to introduce the participants in the triple threat match for the #1 contendership.

Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Zack Ryder

Owens apparently got to hand pick these guys because he never told Stephanie who would be in the match. The announcers bury all three of them by asking why any of them deserve a title shot. Cara starts cleaning house to start as Ryder is sent to the floor. A slingshot ankle scissors gets two on Stardust but Ryder pulls them to the floor. Cue Sami, Ziggler and Miz to stare down Owens as the match is basically forgotten. A huge brawl breaks out and the match is thrown out at 3:40. No rating since so much was spent on Owens but the wrestling wasn’t the point here.

Everyone beats Owens down and DO NOT TELL ME it’s going to be a seven way match at Wrestlemania with three extra goons added in.

We look back at the opening segment.

Stephanie is thinking about leaving when Kevin Owens comes in to complain about what just happened. She gets annoyed at him calling it KOMania and makes a SEVEN WAY LADDER MATCH for the title. BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY ARE BECAUSE THE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE IS A FREAKING JOKE THESE DAYS AND THEY’RE GIVING TITLE SHOTS TO PEOPLE THEY JUST SPENT A WHOLE MATCH BURYING BECAUSE IT’S A STUPID IDEA THAT THEY KEEP DOING EVERY SINGLE YEAR!

Stephanie (of course it’s Stephanie) is leaving and HHH gets out of his car. They go to leave when Reigns appears and attacks HHH as Stephanie won’t stop screaming. Doesn’t she have a pointless ladder match to book?

Natalya vs. Charlotte

Non-title with Becky and Sasha bickering on commentary. Charlotte starts fast but gets knocked to the floor for a hard shot to the head. Back in and Charlotte gets two off a clothesline as the arguing continues. Charlotte hammers away in the corner but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb, setting up the Sharpshooter. A rope is quickly grabbed and Natural Selection puts Natalya away at 4:51.

Rating: D+. Not exactly Roadblock here but at least we got that good looking powerbomb in again. I could have done without the annoying chattering about Irish jokes and bling but that’s how you do commentary these days. The match should be fine assuming they give it time though this was nothing interesting.

We look back at Dean and the chainsaw earlier.

R-Truth vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Bubba pounds him down to start and asks where Truth’s boy Goldust is. Truth makes a quick comeback and hits a running splash in the corner but D-Von offers a distraction, allowing a big boot to put Truth away at 2:10.

Goldust comes out for a failed save so here are the Usos for the real save. The Usos load up a table but Bubba breaks it up.

Here’s Vince to talk about the Cell and what might happen if Shane somehow pulls off a miracle. We look back at last week’s ending segment with Undertaker destroying Shane. Vince agrees with what Shane said about Undertaker last week because if Undertaker doesn’t beat Shane, this is his last Wrestlemania. Well…..that’s a bit better I guess.

Dean Ambrose vs. Braun Strowman

Heyman is on commentary. Strowman hammers away to start but gets sent out to the floor, though not off his feet. The suicide dive doesn’t put Braun down and now it’s time for the beating. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Dean fights up and gets a sleeper, which seems to just annoy Braun more than anything else. Ambrose makes another comeback but can’t hit Dirty Deeds. Instead he settles for avoiding a charge to send Braun shoulder first into the post. Dean grabs a chair and starts beating on Braun for the DQ at 6:04.

Rating: D+. This was fine and did exactly what it should have done: showed Dean against a monster and let us see what he can do against him without wasting Braun’s monster aura. The match wasn’t good or anything but that’s what Braun is here for: to look like a big guy who can serve as a warmup for a match against Brock. They got the idea right here and it worked well enough.

Post match Dean hits him with the chair a few more times and scores with Dirty Deeds onto the steel. Some staring at Heyman ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. They were rolling along and then hit one of the hardest walls I’ve ever seen. I really can’t remember the last time I stopped caring about a show as hard as when they announced that seven man ladder match. Yes it’s going to be a spectacle and yes it’s going to have some big spots, but it goes against every bit of storytelling they’ve had in recent weeks. They don’t have a roster to fill in a battle royal and they have a great story HANDED TO THEM with Zayn vs. Owens, but no let’s go with the big mess because it’s easy and requires less work.

The worst part though is the storyline explanation for this is “Stephanie felt like it.” Nothing more and nothing less. Why should I care about some story they’re putting together or anything for that matter when it continues to come down to “well the Authority wants this”? It’s lazy writing and bad storytelling, which is so much of a plague on this company.

Other than that though, this was actually quite a strong show as they kept things moving and avoided any major issues with the crowd. That was the key thing to the whole show: don’t give the fans a reason or a chance to hijack things and it’s clear that they pulled it off here. Good show overall and a needed show with less than two weeks before Wrestlemania but there were some major holes.

Results

Kevin Owens b. AJ Styles – Rollup

Big E. b. Rusev – Big Ending

Chris Jericho b. Fandango – Codebreaker

Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Zack Ryder went to a no contest when all three attacked Kevin Owens

Charlotte b. Natalya – Natural Selection

Bubba Ray Dudley b. R-Truth – Big boot

Braun Strowman b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Ambrose used a chair

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 14, 2016
Location: Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

This is one of the final three Raw’s before Wrestlemania and things are starting to get interesting. The question though is what to do with Roman Reigns. It’s pretty clear that the fans don’t want to cheer for him but at some point they either need to change the main event or accept the crowd reactions. Let’s get to it.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Rusev/Alberto Del Rio

Woods says there’s no stopping this New Day train and they’ve had a good time celebrating on Twitter. After shilling the cereal box (Kofi: “This is a real thing you can get on WWE.com!”), Big E. talks about having some Kim Kardashian inspired gluteal workout DVDs. Kofi is actually the odd man out here for a change.

The announcers explain the Freebird Rule as Rusev and Big E. shove each other around to start. The fans want Lana but Rusev laughs them off, only to get caught in the abdominal stretch, complete with a quick spanking. There’s the Unicorn Stampede before Big E. throws Woods into Rusev’s face. Rusev kicks him away and brings in Del Rio who suplexes Big E. for two. A Backstabber gets two more before Woods gets kicked in the face as well as we take a break.

Back with Woods caught in Rusev’s bearhug, followed by Del Rio slapping on a chinlock. As usual the League is burning up the mat with this offense. Woods kicks him in the leg and knees Alberto in the face, allowing for the hot tag to Big E. The Warrior Splash gets two and everything breaks down with Woods DDTing Rusev. Del Rio double stomps Big E. to the floor and Rusev kicks Woods in the face for two. Everything breaks down and Kofi goes after Barrett, allowing Woods to roll Rusev up with a handful of trunks for the pin at 13:40.

Rating: C. The match was dull at times but a lot of that is due to the League. New Day is awesome but there’s only so much you can do with a team whose entire gimmick is “we’re from other countries.” You would think this ends things but since this is WWE, the odds are that they’ll keep going a bit longer.

Post match the League destroys New Day for a long time, which would seem to set up another match at Wrestlemania.

Here’s Dean Ambrose with something to say. After seeing the false finish from Roadblock, Ambrose says he’s upset that he isn’t here tonight as the WWE World Champion. One thing is for sure though: HHH is more sore tonight than he’s ever been. That brings Dean to the Road to Wrestlemania but this brings out Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar. Heyman gives Brock a huge introduction but Dean wants Paul to unleash the Beast.

That’s not a good business move though as it would eliminate one of the biggest matches at Wrestlemania. You don’t want to lose the main event of Wrestlemania, because any match that Brock Lesnar is in is the main event. Heyman says he’ll see Dean in twenty nights and leaves but Brock heads towards the ring. Dean pulls out a crowbar and Brock circles the ring, only to wisely leave before getting hit in the head with a steel crowbar.

Ryback vs. Sin Cara

Cara is in black compared to Kalisto’s white with the mask making him look like a cat. Ryback throws him down to start and does the Thesz press, followed by a big backdrop. The squashing continues with a hard clothesline for two before it’s off to the chinlock. Cara low bridges him to the floor and gets in a suicide dive, only to have a dive caught in the Shell Shock. A second Shell Shock wraps this up at 4:17.

Rating: D+. Total squash but at least they’re finally getting somewhere with Ryback. It’s even better as they’re getting closer to splitting up the Dragons, which has been needed for months now. Hopefully this sets up the title match at Wrestlemania, which is pretty obviously the next step and maybe it can even be a singles match.

Post match Ryback says that’s what happens when a big guy faces a little guy. On top of that though, he’d like a US Title shot at Wrestlemania. Well to be fair, he did just beat Sin Cara. That better make him the #1 contender.

Here’s a strutting Stephanie McMahon who brings out HHH for some bragging about winning on Saturday. It was so much fun crushing the fans’ hope at Roadblock because everyone has hope. It starts in high school when you’re ready to take over the world but then you get married and get a job where hope kicks in. You hope for a raise or a promotion but when you don’t get it, you’re the last person to be blamed.

Then people like the guy in the front row goes to the bar to drink and blame the authority above them because nothing can ever get better. Then you start hoping for the lottery but then thirty years go by and you might get a watch. By this point everything is falling apart and you wind up in a home drooling on yourself. People like that cheer for Roman Reigns because they hope that he can win overcome the Authority and take the WWE World Title at Wrestlemania. He’s going to fail though, just like all of your lives, because the Authority always wins. This brings out…..Dolph Ziggler?

Dolph gets right to the sucking up to the fans, which Stephanie says is very Cena-esque of him. Stephanie knows Dolph is good but he’s not all that great. He’s never going to quit because he’s tired of the fans being insulted. The people live through Ziggler and Ambrose because they were screwed by the system, the Authority’s system. They tease firing him but HHH says that’s not how this works because the Authority knows Ziggler is beloved.

HHH offers a chance at Ziggler joining the Authority but Dolph would never join forces with a corrupt boss and his stupid wife. There’s the big slap but Ziggler still won’t quit. Stephanie makes Ziggler an offer: if he can win any one match tonight, he can have any match he wants at Wrestlemania (save for the World Title match of course). The match is against HHH, albeit non-title.

Why am I watching Dolph Ziggler get a match against HHH with twenty days to go before Raw? I know Ziggler is still kind of popular but does anyone really think this is the best option they have? Are they that scared of putting Reigns on TV this close to Wrestlemania? You would think they would change things around if that’s how bad it’s gotten but for some reason they seem dead set on having Reigns take the title and get his big glory moment, assuming of course that he actually wins the thing.

Sami Zayn vs. The Miz

Kevin Owens is on commentary of course. Sami sends him to the floor but has to bail out of the big dive. We take a break and come back with Sami fighting out of a double arm crank, only to walk int a DDT for two. Sami starts his comeback with the clotheslines and sends Miz to the floor for the big flip dive. Owens offers a distraction but Miz actually takes him own, allowing Sami to hit the Helluva Kick for the pin at 7:17.

Rating: C-. Way too much of this was in the break but it was much more about storytelling than anything else and at least Miz lost. The Intercontinental Title match has the potential to be a mess, mainly because they seem intent to add Miz to the match despite his lone win being that minute and a half pin on Ziggler a few weeks back.

We look back at the League beating New Day down.

The League wants one more match with New Day at Wrestlemania where it won’t be a comedy.

Naomi/Tamina vs. Alicia Fox/Brie Bella

Lana comes out for an early distraction, allowing Naomi to get in a cheap shot on Alicia. Tamina cranks on her neck but it’s off to Brie for the worst YES Kicks she’s ever done, which is covering a lot of ground. The BRIE MODE knee hits Tamina and a middle rope Bella Buster gets two as Naomi makes the save. Everything breaks down and Lana offers a distraction, allowing Tamina and Naomi to hit a powerslam/neckbreaker combo for the pin on Brie at 2:41.

Alicia goes after Lana but walks into a double superkick.

The Social Outcasts shill for Burger King.

Lana wants the Divas Title when Paige comes in to say Lana hasn’t even had a match yet. If Lana wants a test against a real Diva, Paige would be happy to oblige. This brings in Naomi and Tamina to say Paige shouldn’t run her mouth.

Charlotte talks about how she knew Sasha and Becky before they were Sasha and Becky. She can remember holding Sasha’s hair back before Sasha’s first match because Banks was so nervous. Charlotte can remember Becky being so nervous that she had to be calmed down. Ric is very amused by all this and promises that Charlotte is walking out as champion. This was nice and it’s a good idea to add something personal to the three way. These women have a past and it would be stupid to not go somewhere with it.

Usos vs. Adam Rose/Bo Dallas

The Dudley Boyz are on commentary and talks about not using tables as a crutch. A long string of superkicks put the Outcasts down and the Superfly Splash puts Dallas away at 1:56.

Dean is in the back with his crowbar when Mick Foley comes in. He knows Dean doesn’t have that thing because he loves baseball so why is he doing all this? Dean asks if Foley was afraid when he was on top of that Cell with the Undertaker. Foley: “You mean right here in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania?”

Foley was afraid but he was up there because that’s what he does. Dean: “I’m Dean Ambrose and this is what I do.” Foley is sick of hearing about Suplex City and would love for Dean to do something about it. Therefore, he has a present for Dean. Foley hands Dean a box and leaves, allowing Dean to pull out the baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. Again good stuff, but I hope Foley has something else to do besides this match. Ambrose vs. Lesnar doesn’t need help so why waste what Foley can add here?

Dolph Ziggler vs. HHH

Non-title. Cole says this is HHH’s first match on Raw in nearly three years, which you can add to his list of inaccurate statements that are intended to make him sound smart. Ziggler headlocks him down to start and holds onto it for a good while until HHH gets in an elbow to the jaw. A hard whip puts Ziggler into the barricade and we take a break. Back with HHH working on the arm via an armbar and its flying cousin.

The jumping knee to the face gets two and HHH drops the knee to the head for two more. Ziggler is sent to the floor and into the steps for a big crash as the arm is being destroyed. HHH goes to the middle rope for the sole reason of diving into a raised boot (haven’t seen that stupid spot in a long time) and it’s time for the comeback.

The superkick is blocked but the Pedigree is countered so Ziggler settles for two off the Fameasser. You can hear the crowd getting into this. Ziggler gets two off the running DDT but runs into the spinebuster for no cover, though we do get a spot call. A very quick superkick (the called spot) gets two and HHH goes to the outside for a breather. Back in and the Zig Zag is countered, setting up the Pedigree for the pin at 17:29.

Rating: B-. Better than it should have been, especially for what was little more than a long practice session to get HHH back in ring shape. The problem here is that Ziggler isn’t someone who is going to get interest in a match like this because no matter how you look at it, he’s still Dolph Ziggler. Good match though.

Post match here’s Roman Reigns coming down the aisle for no apparent reason, though threats of death by booing could be a possibility. The booing is there but it’s not as bad as it’s been in the past. Reigns destroys HHH around the ring and beats him into the announcers’ table just like HHH did a few weeks ago. HHH gets knocked along the outside and heads to the technical area. They head to the back where HHH is bleeding from the side of the head. Reigns breaks a TV monitor over his head and some wrestlers finally get him out of there.

Jackie Moore Hall of Fame video.

Goldust is walking through the back (because he’s just there in wrestling gear every week) when he runs into a penguin. Of course it’s R-Truth, but he doesn’t know they’re in Pittsburgh (the Pittsburgh Penguins are a hockey team if that makes no sense). See, when penguins meet their mates, they’re mates for life. Therefore, R-Truth wants Goldust to be his tag partner for life. That’s another no from Goldust. R-Truth: “That’s cold.”

Chris Jericho comes out for his match but first he has to insult the fans for cheering AJ Styles. Last week Jericho had to show AJ who his daddy was because Jericho is the really phenomenal one.

Chris Jericho vs. Neville

Jericho starts fast and sends him out to the floor for a break less than a minute in. Back with Neville hurricanrana Jericho for two but coming up limping. Jericho rolls him up for two before shoving the referee for the DQ at 4:50. No rating due to the commercial of course.

Post match Jericho tells the fans to chant for AJ Styles so here’s AJ with a forearm, now called the Phenomenal Forearm.

Here’s Vince to wrap things up. Vince has his entrance done twice for some reason before talking about how Shane could come out here the night after Wrestlemania and talk about how it’s a new era in WWE. Everything will change because it’s a new reality but that reality is going to be a nightmare. However that’s not going to happen because Vince has the ultimate instrument of destruction named the Undertaker.

After a nearly three minute entrance, Vince tells Undertaker to never put his hands on him again (referencing a few weeks back). Undertaker takes off the hat and coat so Vince apologizes for bringing it up again. Vince knows that Undertaker doesn’t mind doing the devil’s work like ramming Shane McMahon into the steel and leaving his spirit in a pool beneath his feet. Some people call it an unholy alliance but Vince calls it best for business. Cue Shane and his orange shoes to say that he’ll never stop coming at Undertaker no matter how long it takes.

Undertaker grabs the mic and says it still won’t be enough. Undertaker’s legacy, even more than Wrestlemania, is his fists. Shane agrees that Undertaker is a legend but he doesn’t understand why Undertaker is dancing like Vince’s puppet. Undertaker says no one controls him but Shane says Undertaker is being Vince’s…..well I think you know what he said. The fight is on and amazingly enough Shane’s punches have almost no effect. Vince shoves Shane into a chokeslam before running away from Undertaker to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Well that was something. It’s like they suddenly remembered that Wrestlemania is in less than three weeks but forgot that they haven’t done jack yet. Some of the stuff on there is fine (Brock vs. Dean) and can help fix a lot of the issues so it’s not a total loss, but stuff like HHH vs. Reigns is firmly in car wreck territory. The midcard stuff is better but the two main events are absolute disasters at this point. This show could be one of the biggest disasters in years unless they pull off a miracle (which they could). Right now it really does feel like they’ve run out of ideas and are throwing in whatever they can to make this work, which is almost never a good idea.

Results

New Day b. Rusev/Alberto Del Rio – Rollup with a handful of trunks to Rusev

Ryback b. Sin Cara – Shell Shock

Sami Zayn b. The Miz – Helluva Kick

Tamina/Naomi b. Alicia Fox/Brie Bella – Powerslam/neckbreaker combination to Fox

Usos b. Adam Rose/Bo Dallas – Superfly Splash

HHH b. Dolph Ziggler – Pedigree

Neville b. Chris Jericho via DQ when Jericho shoved the referee

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: March 10, 2016
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Roadblock and the big story for this week seems to be the main roster debut (well full time debut at least) of Sami Zayn. Tonight we’ll get to see Zayn and his longtime rival Kevin Owens together on MizTV, possibly to set up something between the two (or three) of them at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Tonight it’s Dean Ambrose/Dolph Ziggler/Usos vs. the Wyatt Family.

MizTV gets things going this week with Miz showing us a clip of Zayn running out to save Neville from an Owens apron bomb. Sami comes out first and thankfully it’s still to that rocking Worlds Apart theme. There’s just something about that Sami Zayn entrance that makes me smile and you know it’s going to be something fun. The OLE chants cut Miz off to start but he eventually asks who Sami Zayn is.

Sami talks about doing this for fourteen years and being in NXT for the last few years but Miz cuts him off by actually yelling CUT. Miz wants to hear about Sami’s relationship with Kevin Owens. The story goes back thirteen years with both of them starting in Montreal. They’ve been linked together as friends, tag partners, opponents and enemies over the years and now they’re here as pure enemies. Sami isn’t sure how we got here but Owens delayed his main roster arrival with that shoulder injury.

That means it’s time for Owens to come out and Sami looks sad. Kevin says what he did to Sami back in NXT was what was best for his career. Sami was signed two years before Owens but Owens was on Raw a year before Sami, so who was wrong? What happened at the Royal Rumble was personal though because Owens was the victim there. Zayn gets right to the point: he’s here to stay and wants that Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania.

The fans want to see them fight right now but Owens isn’t so keen on the idea. Kevin doesn’t think Sami belongs in the same ring and goes to walk, only to run right into Neville. Owens has someone else to worry about because Neville thinks that Intercontinental Title would look fine around his waist. That means it’s time for Miz to say it’s his show and that he deserves a title shot of his own. Sami and Miz start going at it and we’re ready for a tag match after the break.

Sami Zayn/Neville vs. Kevin Owens/The Miz

Miz takes Sami down by the arm to start but Zayn spins up and grabs the arm to take over. It’s off to Neville for an arm wringer of his own until Miz drives him into the corner for the tag to Owens. The champ gets hurricanranaed down and we get Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens for the first time in WWE. That lasts all of three seconds though as Owens bails to the corner and it’s back to Miz for another armbar. That fits Owens as a coward very well so all is right so far.

Neville splashes Miz but gets low bridged to the floor as we take a break. Back with Owens taking Neville back into the corner for the tag off to Miz and some stomping. We hit the chinlock for a good while before the Reality Check gets a near fall. Owens demands a tag but has to settle for watching Neville send Miz out to the floor. The hot tag brings in Zayn for the running clotheslines and a tornado DDT for Miz. Now we get the tag to Owens….or at least we would if he didn’t walk out on the match. Miz takes the exploder suplex into the corner and the Helluva Kick gives Sami the pin at 11:44.

Rating: C+. That was fine and it’s cool to see Owens and Zayn go from the indies and make it all the way here, likely followed by a title match at Wrestlemania. Unfortunately it seems like we’re going to see them fighting with a bunch of other people because the idea of a singles match for the title has been long forgotten for whatever reason. These four would be fine but you can almost guarantee Ziggler and a few others being added. Hopefully there aren’t any ladders involved but that seems to be a Wrestlemania tradition these days.

Rock Wrestlemania video.

R-Truth goes to see Goldust in the bathroom but Goldust doesn’t need a helping hand. Goldust isn’t interested so Truth hands him toilet paper. It’s still no though.

Long recap of HHH and Dean from Monday.

Brie Bella vs. Summer Rae

Rematch from Raw with Lana sitting on the announcers’ table for commentary. Lana tells Saxton to shut up because she’s watching the match as Brie is taken to the floor and sent into the barricade. Back in and we hit the cobra clutch while Lana is asked for her definition of a true woman. Lana: “Look at me.” Brie comes back with a middle rope dropkick and the YES Kicks, followed by the YES Lock for the submission at 2:14.

Post match Brie shouts at Lana but goes to knee Summer instead, allowing Lana to give her a second Bella Buster.

Video on Shane McMahon’s in ring career. It’s the same one from Raw.

Here’s Chris Jericho, carrying a Y2AJ shirt over his shoulder, to explain his actions on Monday. The shirt is sat in front of a trashcan as Jericho asks if this is what he gets. The fans are booing him and choosing to cheer AJ Styles. Jericho did what he did on Monday because of those chants. They made him feel like a piece of trash that belongs in this can because he’s still the best in the world at what he does. Jericho lists off his accomplishments, including perhaps the most impressive: he hasn’t been hurt in seventeen years.

After all that though, the fans still chant for AJ Styles. Even after last Monday’s classic, the fans were still chanting for AJ. Jericho has delivered classic after classic in seventeen years and he can’t get a cheer. He’s seen it time after time: someone comes in and could be the best in the world but then they leave after three months because they’re not the real thing. AJ has been here for six weeks (that doesn’t seem possible) and the steam is still coming off his WWE coffee.

Jericho has seen this before and he’s going to be standing around laughing because AJ is going to be just another bust. The fans chant for AJ so Jericho holds up the shirt. Y2AJ was something special but the fans ruined it by chant for AJ. It’s all their fault so the shirt is set on fire because it’s all over for AJ. Lawler: “See this is symbolism Byron.” Jericho mocks the AJ Styles chants as the flames keep coming up. Really, really good stuff here and I’m wanting to see the match now. Well done.

Of note here, the spoilers said that AJ came out here but Ascension of all people cut him off so Jericho could escape. I was wondering how that would make sense on TV but they didn’t bother showing it.

Big Boss Man Hall of Fame video. Godfather continues to be the most out of place name in a class in years.

Lucha Dragons vs. King Barrett/Sheamus

Sheamus and Kalisto get things going with the big man offering some very rude applause. A hurricanrana puts Sheamus down and it’s off to Cara as the dropkicks get going. Lawler thinks it’s a matter of time because bigger is always better. The monkey flip into the splash sends Sheamus out to the floor and the Lucha Dragons dance gets on Lawler’s nerves. We see Ryback watching from the back as Sheamus punches Kalisto in the ribs to take over. Kalisto gets sent outside and we take a break.

Back with Barrett pounding on Kalisto in the corner before it’s off to a chinlock. Sheamus comes in with a running knee to the ribs and a powerslam. Lawler calls Kalisto a gamer but only means he plays video games like WWE2K16. I figured that’s where he was going but it made me chuckle anyway.

Kalisto avoids a charge in the corner to send Sheamus into the post and it’s hot tag to Cara. Everything speeds up and a springboard back elbow drops Barrett. Cara’s standing Lionsault drops Sheamus and a dive takes him out again. The Swanton is loaded up but Rusev shoves him off the top, setting up the Bull Hammer to give Barrett the pin at 10:43.

Rating: C. Well at least the champion didn’t get pinned. This is such a strange dynamic as you have the Dragons as a worthless team but Kalisto was white hot there for a little bit. However, much like so many other things, Alberto Del Rio has crippled whatever momentum he might have had. The matches were fine but Del Rio is such a heat killer. It also didn’t help that Kalisto got pinned in so many meaningless tag matches while he was champion because that’s how WWE rolls. They wouldn’t want him to get hot or something. I mean, he’s just the US Champion after all.

Ryback still thinks that two little men can’t beat two big men. The Dragons tried but not all men are created equal.

Last year’s main event is a Wrestlemania moment.

Very long recap of Vince and Shane from Raw.

The Usos talk about watching the Dudley Boyz twenty years ago as children but now they’re grown men who don’t respect them. Dolph Ziggler comes in and says he isn’t worried about the repercussions from insulting Stephanie on Monday. Random but ok. Dean joins them to say they’re ready for the Wyatts.

Wyatt Family vs. Dolph Ziggler/Usos/Dean Ambrose

Harper and Ambrose get things going with Luke clotheslining him down and stopping to pose. The good guys take him into the corner but the Usos’ wristlocks don’t quite work on someone as strong as Harper. Back with Harper stomping on Jey in the corner but another wristlock is enough to bring in Ziggler. That’s something WWE really needs to work on: so many people use the same basic moves like that wristlock or a kick to the thigh or a superkick. Mix that stuff up as I’m sure there are enough moves to go around.

Ziggler misses a Stinger Splash in the corner and it’s off to Bray for the real beating. Strowman comes in for a big forearm to the chest, setting up a chinlock from Harper. The Fameasser is countered into a powerbomb but Dolph rolls through into a sunset flip for two. The hot tag brings in Jey as things speed up, which unfortunately isn’t getting the crowd into the match.

A good looking superkick puts Rowan in the corner and we get stereo Umaga attacks followed by the double dives over the top. Jey’s Superfly Splash hits knees though and it’s off to Ambrose for the real hot tag. The standing elbow drop gets two on Erick and we hit the parade of secondary finishers. Ziggler can’t superkick Strowman down but Dean sidesteps a charge and gives Rowan Dirty Deeds for the pin at 13:14.

Rating: C+. This started slowly but picked up a lot near the end to help things out a lot. I don’t often notice this but the crowd really didn’t care here. Can you blame them though, as apparently they had four matches on the entire show? I’m a sucker for parades of finishers though and Dean getting the pin over someone not named Bray was the right finish.

Overall Rating: B. Four good to watchable (with the Divas) matches and some storyline advancement with Sami vs. Owens gives me all I need to see on a Thursday night. The best thing Smackdown can do is give a focus to the midcard acts instead of the World Title and McMahon stories and that’s what we got here. I liked the show a lot more than Raw, though I wonder how much of that is due to being able to fast forward through the recaps. There really shouldn’t be that many on a given Smackdown but the McMahons drive business around here, no matter how absurd the story is.

Results

Sami Zayn/Neville b. Kevin Owens/The Miz – Helluva Kick to Miz

Brie Bella b. Summer Rae – YES Lock

King Barrett/Sheamus b. Lucha Dragons – Bull Hammer to Cara

Dean Ambrose/Usos/Dolph Ziggler b. Wyatt Family – Dirty Deeds to Rowan

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 7, 2016
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

Now this could be interesting as the company is hardly on a creative roll at the moment and we’re in one of the biggest smark havens in the world. We’re also five days away from Roadblock which suddenly has the potential to change the entire Wrestlemania card with less than a month before the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Vince vowing to renounce Shane as his son after Wrestlemania. I still have no idea why this is supposed to be interesting or a major plot point as the McMahons are always arguing.

Here’s Shane to get things going. Shane sucks up to the Chicago crowd and it’s clear that they’re excited to see him. He was watching Raw last week and heard what Undertaker was saying about his match. Shane respects Undertaker completely but he wasn’t surprised by what Vine said about him after the fact. Vince has lost touch with both his reality and his grandsons but Shane is ready to stop it all. At Wrestlemania, he stops all the backstage politics and all the authority. Shane is tired of seeing all the talent being held back with no breaks and all the breaks given to people with no talent.

The gong goes off but it’s a strutting Vince instead. Vince laughs at the fans for not being happy to see him so the CM PUNK chants start up. The boss lets it die off and talks about how Stephanie is getting everything. Earlier today Vince was looking at a picture of Shane at his first wrestling show and of course we get to see it on the screen. Vince pulls the actual photo from somewhere and crushes the frame like he’ll do at Wrestlemania.

After Shane loses, Vince will be able to wrap his arms around his grandsons and prove to them that their family isn’t a bunch of losers because his greatest creation is going to destroy his greatest failure. Vince sends out the security but Shane actually beats them up to a HUGE ovation, most of which isn’t deserved.

The segment was better than most of anything we saw last week but I’m still really not sure what the heck they’re fighting about. Thankfully they’ve seemed to drop the whole lockbox concept which wasn’t working to say the least but Shane having a proxy would work better as an idea.

Kevin Owens vs. Neville

Non-title so look for another upset. Owens drives him into the corner to start and stomps away, meaning he survives longer than he did against Neville a few weeks back. Kevin: “Come on mate!” Neville comes back with kicks to send Owens to the floor but misses a dive, allowing Kevin to send him into the steps as we take a break. Back with Neville fighting out of a chinlock, only to be flipped over with a German suplex.

The Cannonball is countered with a nice enziguri to knock Owens to the floor, setting up a great looking shooting star off the top to the outside. The fans REALLY like that one but don’t care as much for the standing shooting star press for two back inside. Neville charges into a boot to the face but rolls away from a springboard moonsault. A superkick sets up the middle rope Phoenix Splash for a very, very close two. Thankfully Neville stays on him but Owens grabs a rollup with the trunks for the pin at 10:25.

Rating: C+. Those high spots from Neville helped carry this, leading us to the more important ending of Owens winning. The cheating helps but I was worried that they would job him AGAIN here to set up something at Wrestlemania. It’s also nice to see Neville getting some prominent spots instead of just in a nothing six man tag.

Post match Owens loads up the apron powerbomb but SAMI ZAYN runs in and cleans house, likely setting up a big Intercontinental Title match at Wrestlemania.

Video from the Rock saying Wrestlemania is free for new WWE Network subscribers.

Long recap of HHH and Ambrose from last week.

Dolph Ziggler and Zack Ryder (with a beard) are in the back when Stephanie comes up. Stephanie thanks Ziggler for taking down a tweet about the Authority earlier today but Dolph mentions taking down the Authority a few years back. Stephanie doesn’t remember that and reminds Ziggler that she’s his boss. As if we could forget as that’s pretty much her whole character. Stephanie likes these flashbacks and gives Ziggler an elimination tag against three members of the League of Nations. Oh and Ziggler won’t have any partners.

Brie Bella vs. Summer Rae

Total Divas match, meaning we get a clip from tomorrow’s show with Nikki telling Brie how to live. Summer takes her down to start but Brie comes right back with the YES Kicks and a horrible looking BRIE MODE knee. Brie misses a middle rope cross body but here’s Lana for a distraction, allowing Summer to grab a rollup for the pin at 2:05. They haven’t used that finish as much lately so it’s not as annoying here.

Post match Lana comes to the ring and gives Brie a Bella Buster for some of her first ever physicality.

Here’s Dean Ambrose to open the second hour. He gets right to the point: this Saturday he’s hijacking the car on the road to Wrestlemania by being HHH to win the title. Dean talks about all the things he’s going to get to do like being on the cover of People Magazine and throwing out the first pitch at baseball games.

After Wrestlemania, HHH is going to have to buy Dean a new suit and lapel pins….which he doesn’t know how to work. Actually Dean isn’t going to do any of these things that come along with being WWE Champion but he loves the idea of being WWE Champion and getting to come out here and fight everyone every single night.

Cue HHH who threatens to beat Ambrose up again. Dean says he’ll take another trip to the announcers’ table and hold that WWE Championship up high. Dean: “When I do that, you can suck it.” HHH calls Roadblock a clever name that marketing came up with because Dean is at best a speed bump or a pothole. Dean wants to fight right now but HHH fights on his own time. As for tonight, Dean gets to face Bray Wyatt. That gives him a preview of Sunday where he learns that the Authority always wins.

Dolph Ziggler vs. League of Nations

Elimination rules with Del Rio as the odd man out. Barrett gets things going with the King pounding away and getting two off the Winds of Change. The knees in the ropes (which are similar to the ones Shane threw earlier tonight) set up the ten forearms from Sheamus, even though Ziggler started to fall down in the ropes. Rusev comes in for a running splash against the ropes for two. At least he isn’t talking about how much he loves Summer or Lana at the time as that feud (which wasn’t as bad as people made it out to be) is best forgotten.

A surprisingly good dropkick gets two for Rusev and it’s back to Barrett for some forearms to the back in the corner. Sheamus comes in and slowly stomps away, followed by the knee to the ribs. Barrett charges into the running DDT and goes shoulder first into the post, setting up a superkick for the first elimination. Sheamus takes a superkick as well but Rusev breaks it up. The Brogue Kick misses but Rusev kicks Ziggler in the head, setting up the Brogue for the pin 6:39.

Rating: C-. This could have been much worse as I can live with Ziggler getting one pin, especially since the League didn’t have to make an immediate save given how the rules were set up. The League is good as the enforcers for the Authority and roles like this but I’m not sure how much longer they can survive given how they’ve been treated lately.

We look back at Shane and Vince from earlier.

Video on Shane McMahon’s in-ring career.

Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks bicker about who would have won last week.

Naomi/Tamina vs. Becky Lynch/Sasha Banks

Can’t they bring up Blue Pants and Deonna Purrazzo instead of making us watch these four again? Charlotte and Ric are at ringside because Flair needs a paycheck this badly. Cole talks about how we’ve seen this match before. At least they’re just acknowledging that their matches are repetitive now. Becky gets thrown into the heel corner to start and a right hand puts her down again. Tamina misses a charge in the corner and it’s off to Sasha as everything breaks down. The Bank Statement (Cole: “THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO MCGREGGOR!”) puts Tamina away at 2:00.

Post match Charlotte comes in and beats down the winners.

R-Truth is delivering a pizza to Goldust (who thankfully was just right there when Truth came in) and asks to be his partner again. Goldust says a good partner would know that he was lactose intolerant and slams the pizza down. Mark Henry comes up and takes the pizza.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. AJ Styles/Chris Jericho

New Day is defending. Before the match, Big E. wants to talk about the matching tattoos they’ve gotten but apparently only he got the blue and purple unicorn. Of course Big E. was just joking until Jericho cuts him off and saves some face. Jericho and Styles now have Y2AJ shirts. Kofi gets sent to the floor to start and the challengers hit a nice double plancha to take us to an early break.

Back with Jericho in trouble but nailing a dropkick to Big E. An enziguri drops Kingston and there’s the hot tag to AJ. The moonsault reverse DDT hits as close to seamlessly as I’ve ever seen but AJ springboards into the Midnight Hour for two as Chris saves. The Lionsault crushes Kofi and AJ adds the springboard 450 for two with Big E. pulling Kingston to the floor. AJ drops Big E. with a slingshot forearm but misses the backfist to Kofi.

Back to Jericho who counters Trouble in Paradise into the Walls. AJ stops Woods from making the save but gets driven hard into the barricade. Big E. gets back up for the tag so Jericho tries the Walls on him, which doesn’t quite work. Instead Jericho sends Big E. into the post but the Codebreaker is countered into the Big Ending for the clean pin to retain at 11:38.

Rating: B+. They had me a few times in this one and the action after the hot tag to AJ never really stopped. This was more of a showcase for AJ than anything else with the springboards looking as smooth as they have yet in WWE. Jericho getting pinned clean opens up a few doors but I’m not sure where New Day goes at Wrestlemania, unless Bullet Club gets a very fast callup. AJ and Jericho could go various places as well.

Post match AJ and Jericho get an ovation but Jericho turns heel with a Codebreaker to Styles. That might have worked better if Jericho hadn’t just lost clean but at least we get a FOURTH match between these two. I mean, just a thought but maybe you shouldn’t do a (potential) Wrestlemania match three times before Wrestlemania. Jericho gives him two more Codebreakers for good measure before stuffing the Y2AJ shirt in AJ’s mouth.

Back from a break with Jericho complaining about the fans chanting for AJ. They can enjoy it while they can because they won’t be chanting for AJ Styles anymore.

Tyler Breeze vs. Kalisto

Non-title. Breeze blasts him in the face to start as the announcers talk about Jericho. A chinlock doesn’t go very far and it’s the corkscrew cross body into the Salida Del Sol for the pin on Breeze at 2:17.

Big Boss Man Hall of Fame announcement. I’m so happy over this one.

Kalisto is in the back and talks about idolizing people like Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero at Wrestlemania. Cue Ryback to ask why he doesn’t have a Wrestlemania match yet. Kalisto might be one of the best pound for pound wrestlers in WWE today but that’s not what we’re talking about here. Ryback says Kalisto has a mask just like a superhero but that’s not how things work in the real world. Kalisto needs to be the US Champion on his own instead of as one half of the Lucha Dragons. Watch him do this on his own tonight. No match was made here and it felt more like a way to split up the Dragons (thank goodness).

Here are the Social Outcasts to talk about how sad it is that Ryback doesn’t want to be part of a team. He can’t play team dodgeball (like on Heath Slater’s new show Game Night on WWE.com) or be a Ghostbuster, but above all that he can’t be a Social Outcast. Tonight the Axeman cometh, which means they all start making strange noises and chopping the air with their hand.

Ryback vs. Curtis Axel

This is joined in progress after a break (because reasons) with Axel getting in his jobber offense until the Thesz press allows Ryback to slam Axel head first into the mat. A CM Punk style running knee in the corner (complete with a Go To Sleep motion) sends Axel to the floor but an Outcasts distraction lets Axel get in a cheap shot for two. Just like last week, Ryback pounds him down into near unconsciousness, setting up the Shell Shock for the pin at 2:08. Again, no reason for this to go to a break before the match.

We recap the opening again.

Stephanie comes in to see Vince and asks what happens if Shane wins.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray still has nothing to do at Wrestlemania but he does talk about conquering the conqueror this Saturday. Tonight he’ll use Dean as an example. No Family with Bray this week. Some early elbows put Bray in trouble and Dean cranks on both legs at the same time. Dean drives in even more elbows to Bray’s head in the corner until Bray runs him over with the cross body as we take a break.

Back with Bray suplexing Dean to keep control before taking him outside for a double clothesline. They get back in with Dean hammering away and trying the rebound lariat, only to have Bray take Dean’s head off because he’s smart enough to figure out that Dean is doing the exact same thing he always does. Dean knocks him out to the floor but the suicide dive is countered into Sister Abigail. That’s countered as well so Bray Rock Bottoms him onto the barricade. Back in again and Dean scores with the rebound lariat followed by the top rope elbow, only to have the Wyatts come in for the DQ at 11:50.

Rating: C+. I was digging this one until the ending that you kind of had to know was coming. At least they didn’t have either of them doing a clean job here as I was kind of expecting them to. Bray countering the rebound lariat was a nice touch too because wrestlers being smart is always cool to see. Good main event though it’s more of a storytelling device than anything else.

Post match the Wyatts destroy Dean until HHH comes out. Bray stares at HHH and even touches the title (fans: “YES!”) before the Family leaves. HHH loads up the announcers’ table but walks into Dirty Deeds. Dean holds up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. While still not a very good show, this was WAY better than what they did last week. It’s amazing how much better a show is when you have anything besides Stephanie reminding us (AGAIN) that she’s the most amazing thing since that time Randy Savage woke up Hulk Hogan with a top rope elbow because Hogan only Hulked Up from finishers. The problem here though is that this Wrestlemania really isn’t very strong and there’s only so much they can do to build that up, especially with the lack of people actually appearing.

I can’t imagine anything big happens at Roadblock but maybe they’ll throw in a big (and possibly much needed) curve ball. That being said, the idea of Reigns not appearing until Wrestlemania (as Raw is in Pittsburgh, Philadelphia and Brooklyn before then) might not be out of the question either. It really is a weird build to Wrestlemania and I’m not sure what’s going to happen before we get there. In this case though, I’m not liking that feeling.

Results

Kevin Owens b. Neville – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Summer Rae b. Brie Bella – Rollup

League of Nations b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick

Becky Lynch/Sasha Banks b. Tamina/Naomi – Bank Statement to Tamina

New Day b. Chris Jericho/AJ Styles – Big Ending to Jericho

Kalisto b. Tyler Breeze – Salida Del Sol

Ryback b. Curtis Axel – Shell Shock

Dean Ambrose b. Bray Wyatt via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: March 3, 2016
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton

We’re coming off a not great Raw this week and we could be in for another edition of that tonight on Smackdown. It’s always hard to guess what’s going to happen on one of these shows as they’re more wrestling based but if last week is any indication, they’re going to be recap based. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of HHH and Dean Ambrose from Raw which set up the main event of the upcoming Roadblock special.

Here’s a limping Ambrose to open things up. Dean sits down because all the bruises on his body are grouping together into one huge bruise. He isn’t one to have a long term plan because he’s more of a five second guy. Like a few weeks ago when he challenged Brock Lesnar and got sent into the windshield of a car. Then he went after HHH but this time it got him a shot at the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.

Now things get messy because everything is ready for Wrestlemania with Reigns vs. HHH. So what happens when Dean wins the belt? Does he face Reigns or should it be Brock, as in the person he’s already signed to face? Or maybe he fights HHH because of some rematch clause. Why not just throw all four of them in a cage and see what happens? That’s probably their best way out of it actually but I don’t think we’re getting there.

Instead here’s Kevin Owens to interrupt and likely set up the main event. Owens is tired of seeing Ambrose get beaten up and then have so many people wanting to fight him when the Intercontinental Champion can’t get a single challenger. Dean: “You could try being nicer to people.” That gets under Owens’ skin for some reason as he gets inside and says Ambrose is everything wrong with WWE. A fight breaks out and Owens gets hit in the back with a chair. Simple enough but neither guy needs to be doing a job tonight.

Usos vs. Sheamus/Rusev

Sheamus and Jimmy get things going with the pale one pounding the Uso down before quickly handing it off to Rusev. The League pounds him down on the floor and we take an early break. Back with Sheamus in control of Jey and giving him a suplex slam for no cover. There are the ten forearms to the chest from Sheamus, setting up a running knee in the back from Rusev to keep Jey in trouble and knock him out to the floor.

A DDT finally drops Rusev and the hot tag brings in Jimmy. Everything breaks down and Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick and the Usos start diving. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick which allows Jimmy to superkick him out of the air. Back in and the Superfly Splash hits knees, setting up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 9:45.

Rating: C-. This is a good example of why people are getting tired of the Usos: they haven’t changed up their formula in years and it’s the same match over and over again. Yeah it’s entertaining and still more than watchable but I could go for something different from them. Unfortunately I’m not sure what that is and it’s becoming a problem for them.

Post match here are the Dudley Boyz with a table. The Usos fight them off but get powerbombed instead, albeit not through the table.

We see part of Stephanie speech from Monday.

Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

The announcers make a big deal about the match on Monday ending in 1:05. Miz punches him down to start and kicks Ziggler in the face for two. Back up and Miz misses a charge in the corner, allowing Ziggler to grab a backslide for the pin at 48 seconds.

R-Truth is in catering when he sees Goldust sitting by himself. Truth tries to make up for it but Goldust wants nothing to do with him. Now Truth is willing to be Goldust’s partner but Goldust thinks it’s going result in a plate of food going into his face. Well Goldust isn’t going to let that happen because he’ll do it to himself first. Goldust: “Who’s the idiot now?” They’ve actually turned this into an interesting story instead of just the same jokes every single week which is quite the surprise.

Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks

Rematch from Raw for the #1 contendership. The fans are split here as a test of strength puts Sasha down for two. With the wrestling not working, Sasha opts to forearm Becky in the face. Both of them try dropkicks and we’ve got a standoff as they’re matching each other step for step so far. This brings out Charlotte and Ric as we take a break. Back with Becky fighting out of a double arm crank and getting two off a t-bone suplex.

The running legdrop misses though and Becky gets caught in a quick Bank Statement. A European uppercut gets two for Becky and frustration is setting in less than ten minutes into the match. They head outside for a double clothesline but Flair starts strutting around them. Well at least he has good taste. Charlotte decks both of them from behind though and it’s a double DQ (thankfully she hit them at the same time so it’s an actual double DQ) at 12:04.

Rating: C. This was another match where you were sitting around waiting on the screwy finish and they did very little to hide it. Also I can kind of go with the idea that Charlotte screwed up like this as her dad never learned a lesson and it makes sense that she wouldn’t either. If nothing else we’re almost guaranteed the triple threat, which is where this should be going in the first place.

Charlotte beats both of them down even more post match.

Renee Young tells Charlotte that it’s a triple threat at Wrestlemania for the title. Ric and Charlotte aren’t pleased.

We recap Undertaker and Vince from Raw. That was so short that they might as well have just shown us the whole thing again. They still really need to tweak that thing too because it’s going to get a lot worse in a hurry otherwise.

Kofi Kingston vs. AJ Styles

This could be really good. Before the match, Kofi and Woods talk about the wonders of the world such as the sun, the moon, or Jello. Kofi: “We can’t explain these things!” Big E.: “Actually Kofi we can. Jello is a mixture of water, flour….” Kofi: “WE CAN’T EXPLAIN THESE THINGS!” Another miracle is that Xavier Woods is such a success despite coming from a town like Hot Trash Lanta. No matter what happens though, they’ll always be the champions.

AJ comes out alone as Jericho is on a promotional tour. Woods and Francesca II offer an early distraction but a rollup gets two for AJ. The drop down into the dropkick get two more for Styles but he makes the mistake of going after Francesca and takes out Woods with a plancha, only to eat a baseball slide from Kofi. Back from a break with AJ in a chinlock, followed by another chinlock to keep him in trouble.

Kofi tries to go up top but dives into a quick release northern lights suplex. I know there isn’t much to break down or analyze here but this has been a solid back and forth match. It’s hard to find stuff to talk about in something that works like this. AJ’s running forearm and fireman’s carry backbreaker get two each. Kofi gets the SOS for two more but Trouble in Paradise misses and the Pele sends Kofi outside. The threat of a trombone assault gets Woods and Big E. ejected, setting up the springboard forearm for the pin on Kingston at 9:57.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t a masterpiece or even a classic but it was two talented wrestlers getting to show off for a little bit. AJ continues to look like a star who was born for the WWE and I’m glad to see him getting a chance to do something like this. Kofi on the other hand continues to be the modern day Tito Santana: he has the resume to look good and can work well with anyone that he gets in the ring against. Good stuff here and that shouldn’t surprise anyone.

AJ bails from New Day in a smart move.

Brock Lesnar vs. Bray Wyatt is official for Roadblock.

The Wyatts talk about the Beast and how he needs to be slayed. Brock may have conquered them all but how do you strike fear in Bray Wyatt?

Freebirds Hall of Fame announcement.

Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

Non-title and Ambrose is limping badly on his way to the ring. It’s nice to see someone selling around here for a change. Dean tries a shoulder to start but has to stop to hold the injury. Well no one ever suggested that he was the brightest guy. Owens knocks him outside to mess with the bad ribs and gets in a few good kicks as we take a break.

Back with Dean being driven into the corner to break up Dirty Deeds. The backsplash (smart move) gets two and we hit something like a seated abdominal stretch. Kevin throws him to the floor and into the barricade for a nine count, only to be sent right back to the floor. Ambrose does that apron 619 of his and blasts Owens with a clothesline for another long count. Lawler is in full on heel mode here as he cheers for Owens, which really is working for me.

No Jerry isn’t doing anything amazing or groundbreaking but he’s being a jerk and insulting good guys. He isn’t bringing up some European sports competition that goes over 80% of the audience’s heads or trying to sound way smarter than he really is. Instead he’s cheering for villains and calling heroes stupid and it’s working. Why can’t more people get the simple idea that less is more? Back in and Ambrose starts fighting back, including the running clothesline and suicide dive to really bang up the ribs some more.

Back in again and Ambrose gets crotched, setting up the Cannonball for a close two. You can’t fault Owens’ psychology here. Dean fights back again and gets two off the top rope elbow but has another suicide dive countered, this time with his back being driven into the apron. Back in and the Pop Up Powerbomb is countered with a hurricanrana but Dean eats a superkick. The backsplash hits knees and Ranallo describes this as a fight between a dentist and a carpenter. Tooth and nail you see. Dirty Deeds puts Owens away at 14:45.

Rating: B+. I love the match but I really don’t like the booking here. They did every single thing they could have here to make Owens look smart and protect him but at the end of the match he was looking up at the lights after a clean finisher. I’m well aware that the Intercontinental Title means little to WWE but maybe they wouldn’t have this problem of injuries destroying the roster if they had some people who actually were protected and could be slotted into these matches instead. Dean winning is good but no champion should be losing twice in a week with a month before Wrestlemania, period.

Overall Rating: C+. The two good matches helped a lot and the main event was very strong but the important thing here was how they gave us actual stuff. I know it wasn’t anything amazing but at least it wasn’t a Raw clip show like last week’s was. Hopefully they’ll start setting things back on track on Monday but this week was a bit better with a much more standard show.

Results

Sheamus/Rusev b. Usos – Brogue Kick to Jimmy

Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Backslide

Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks went to a double DQ when Charlotte interfered

AJ Styles b. Kofi Kingston – Springboard forearm

Dean Ambrose b. Kevin Owens – Dirty Deeds

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6