Smackdown
Date: January 28, 2016
Location: Amalie Arena, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton

We’ve got a main event for Fastlane now, which means we’ll have a main event for Wrestlemania in just a few weeks. This past Monday on Raw, it was announced that Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose and Brock Lesnar will face off for the World Title shot at Wrestlemania against HHH, which doesn’t make a ton of sense but should be a good match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of the Royal Rumble and Monday’s fallout.

Opening sequence.

Here’s the New Day who shame the Rock after seeing a recap of his surprise appearance on Monday. Rock is clearly just jealous of their gold (it’s bronze actually) because he insulted the unicorn horns. This brings out the Miz of all people, who says he feels their pain. How dare Rock insult one of his fellow movie stars? Miz deserves respect but here are the Usos to interrupt as well.

They get on him for still talking about main eventing Wrestlemania, but maybe that’s where he got the money to buy that dress. Woods: “Miz has the best mouth in the business.” Big E. laughs at the Usos for never winning any gold and Kofi says the Usos’ cousin Dewey isn’t here for the rescue. The Usos aren’t worried because here are Titus O’Neil and Dolph Ziggler to help with the brawl.

New Day/Miz vs. Usos/Titus O’Neil/Dolph Ziggler

Miz and Jey get things going with the Uso sending him into the corner for some dancing. Woods refers to Jey as a varmint as it’s off to Titus vs. Kofi. Kingston dropkicks him down and it’s off to Ziggler. Big E. gets in a slam but Ziggler dives away and makes the tag off to Jimmy as things pick up again. There’s the running Umaga Attack (with Ranallo actually mentioning Umaga) to Big E., who pops up and belly to bellies Jimmy into the corner.

The Unicorn Stampede has Jimmy in more trouble and we get some sweet Francesca II. Jimmy finally knocks Woods down and makes the tag off to Titus for some house cleaning. A powerslam gets two on Miz and everything breaks down. The Usos hit stereo dives on Big E. and Kofi and Ziggler superkicks Miz into the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 7:54.

Rating: C-. What is up with the Titus push lately? I know it’s not likely to go anywhere but he’s getting pins on TV and actually looking like something of note. It might be due to the charity stuff he’s been doing lately but it’s cool to see someone getting a mini push. The match was fine and at least Miz took the fall.

US Title: Kalisto vs. Neville

Kalisto is defending and we get some Big Match Intros. They hit the ropes to start and Kalisto does a walking handstand to show off. Neville is sent to the floor and Kalisto snaps off a hurricanrana into the barricade. They get back inside and we take an early break. Back with Kalisto springboarding into a sitout powerbomb for two as Neville is having to wrestle as the default heel.

Neville lifts him up into a fireman’s carry and goes up top, only to have Kalisto reverse into a top rope hurricanrana for a huge crash. Back up and Neville fires off the kicks to the ribs but the lifting German suplex is countered into a rollup for two. Neville tries it again and gets countered into something like a Salida Del Sol to retain Kalisto’s title at 8:54.

Rating: C+. Botches aside, this was a fun match with Kalisto getting to show off against someone who can wrestle a similar style. I know the ending wasn’t the smoothest in the world but it’s cool to see Kalisto hitting that move from almost any angle. It makes it that much more dangerous and that’s going to give him a lot more mileage.

They shake hands post match.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Jericho talking about having a great run in the Royal Rumble, only to have HHH come in and win in the end. That win helped set up the main event of Fastlane with the triple threat for the #1 contendership. Therefore, his guests tonight are Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose.

After presenting Jericho with a potted plant and a stool to help replace some of the often destroyed set, they say they’re not jealous people so they aren’t going to lose their friendship over this match. Dean says he’s going to punch Reigns in the face and kick him in the ribs as soon as the bell rings and that’s just fine with Roman.

Jericho brings up Brock, who Dean has never faced before. Ambrose says Brock is the most destructive force but that doesn’t matter when you’re indestructible. Reigns doesn’t think it’s that simple, but Dean points out that he can just beat Roman to get the shot. Reigns: “Well it would be the first time because you never have before.” Cue the Wyatts to say they slayed the Beast but Reigns says he doesn’t get what they’re talking about. A challenge is issued but Bray says patience. This seems to be the main event.

Here are the Social Outcasts to talk about how they should be trending. Instead people are talking about AJ Styles, who they call the phenomenal anomaly. Axel yells about being eliminated for over a year until AJ jumped him from behind.

AJ Styles vs. Curtis Axel

Styles starts fast with the drop down into the dropkick as Lawler goes on a rant about how AJ’s past accomplishments don’t mean a thing around here. Axel knocks him down in the corner and scores with a backbreaker, only to miss a middle rope elbow. Styles misses the middle rope moonsault into the reverse DDT but it looked enough like a Pele to count. A flip dive takes out Slater and Dallas and it’s the Pele into the Styles Clash to pin Axel at 3:20.

Rating: D+. So he can’t hit it in the Royal Rumble and he can’t hit it in the match against Jericho but he can hit it against Axel in a nothing match on Smackdown? That’s their thinking here? At least they haven’t stopped his push yet, which is actually a relief after all the other people this company has screwed up.

Charlotte vs. Natalya

Non-title and Natalya says the Queen of Harts is back. Charlotte gets rolled up for an early two and the basement dropkick sends the champ into the corner. Natalya follows her in and gets kicked in the face for her efforts, followed by an abdominal stretch to slow things down. A dropkick and some chops have Natalya in even more trouble but she sends Charlotte to the floor. Some WOOing distracts Natalya though and Charlotte gets in a chop block, setting up the Figure Eight for the submission at 3:53.

Rating: C-. They’re firmly in the Evolution formula now with Flair causing all the distractions and setting up the endings. At some point they need to change things up because that formula got old back in the day and it’s already getting boring here. Natalya being back in the ring is a good thing as the division can always use talented veterans.

Charlotte puts the hold on again but Becky Lynch runs in for the save.

R-Truth is getting ready for a run when Goldust comes up. Jokes about stretching and massaging a groin strain ensue, though this time R-Truth seems intrigued by the idea of a team.

Wyatt Family vs. Chris Jericho/Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Strowman is the odd man out here. Rowan chops Jericho into the corner to start but it’s quickly off to Dean for a kick to the ribs. Reigns gets in a quick turn before it’s back to Jericho, who is dragged into the corner for the tag off to Harper. Some shots to the throat have Chris in trouble but he comes back with a dropkick and enziguri. No tag though as he pounds in right hands instead.

The bad idea results in Harper coming back with a suplex for two as we take a break. Back with Rowan putting on the head vice for a bit before a backbreaker gets two on Jericho. Harper comes in for a leg lock of all things, followed by a more traditional chinlock. Bray seems a bit disappointed that we didn’t get a broken limb. A Michinoku Driver gets two for Harper but he’s smart enough to kick Reigns off the apron. Jericho grabs a one knee Codebreaker for a breather, allowing the hot tag off to Ambrose.

The top rope elbow gets two on Rowan and everything breaks down with Dean diving onto Bray. Dean goes up again but dives into a spinwheel kick from Rowan, allowing Bray to come in for the backsplash. The rebound lariat drops Wyatt though and the hot tag brings in Roman to clean house. Everything breaks down again and the good guys take over, setting up the Superman Punch for two on Harper with Strowman pulling Roman to the floor for the DQ at 13:41.

Rating: C. Totally run of the mill six man tag here and that’s not the most interesting thing in the world. I like that they didn’t feel the need to give the Wyatts another clean loss and went with the DQ instead. Hopefully Bray can be kept strong leading into his match Brock, though I’m still not sure how strong that’s going to be.

Post match the Wyatts destroy the good guys until Big Show of all people comes out for the save. Show is beaten down as well but the good guys get up and help clean house to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There were a few good things here and there but above all else this show was lacking. Smackdown shows promise once in a while but then it gets stuck with this lame formula of tag matches and meaningless midcard stuff which is almost never mentioned again. It’s fine for a quick show but nothing necessary to remember by the time the next Raw airs.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 25, 2016
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re officially on the Road to Wrestlemania with a new WWE World Champion in HHH, who entered the Royal Rumble as the surprise #30 entrant. There’s a lot of time for changes in the next few weeks though as Fastlane is in less than a month. Also, WWE has advertised a major star making his return tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Reigns in the Rumble and the ending. I do love the fact that the League beat him down but was too busy carrying off a TV monitor (What was that anyway?) to bother THROWING HIM IN AND OVER THE TOP for an elimination but cocky heels will be cocky heels.

Vince and Stephanie strut to the ring to open things up. They’re very happy because it’s the night after the Royal Rumble and they’ve broken Roman Reigns. Just like everyone here, Reigns is going to tuck his tail between his legs and run away hiding because he’s a broken man with no title. Vince confesses to take joy in the misery of others and Reigns is now more miserable than everyone.

Last night they had the fans eating out of the palm of their hands because all the false hope about Brock Lesnar, AJ Styles and Roman Reigns was a waste of time because they knew who #30 was going to be. This brings out HHH (after a huge batch of praise from Stephanie of course) who says it’s good to be the king. Roman isn’t champion today because he lacks respect. HHH can put up with everything from Reigns but he can’t put up with Reigns disrespecting Vince McMahon in the place he created.

As for people who say he doesn’t need to be champion again, they’re right. With the career he’s had, he doesn’t need this again. However, he’s champion again because he wants to be and people like Reigns don’t deserve to be. The fans chant for Reigns but it’s time to figure out who is going to face HHH for the title at Wrestlemania. Tonight though, they’re going to evaluate the talent and announce the main event of Fastlane. The winner of that match will go on to face HHH for the title at Wrestlemania.

This was really, really lame, even by opening Raw promo standards. I still have no idea why I’m supposed to want to see Reigns come back and win the title again. Between him having a half hour nap during the Rumble last night and not really having a character in the first place, I have no idea why I’m supposed to want to see him fight the odds and overcome. Last night really wasn’t a good sign for him going forward, at least not as the very top guy on the roster. He’ll be fine as a main event player, but he needs a lot of work before he’s that guy.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens

Ziggler superkicks him at the bell for a fast two and Owens bails out to the floor. Back in and Dolph scores with a dropkick as we head to a break. Back with Dolph’s superkick being blocked, meaning he has to settle for a Fameasser instead. We hit the sleeper for a bit until Owens drops him into the buckle. The Cannonball misses so Owens grabs a German Suplex, only to charge into another superkick. Ziggler stomps away in the corner but gets crotched on top, setting up the Pop Up Powerbomb to give Owens the pin at 8:45.

Rating: C-. This was fine but I’m going to get really sick of this “IMPRESS THE AUTHORITY” stuff all night long. I understand that this show is all about them and making sure they look as awesome as possible but could we please go more than a week without having to pound it into the fans’ heads? Owens looked better here, which to be fair isn’t hard against Ziggler, who has wrestled the exact same match for years now.

Reigns arrives and laughs off the idea that he’s miserable. He sends JoJo to tell Vince and HHH that he’s here.

Here are the Social Outcasts with something to say, including Heath Slater going outside to get in rapper Flo Rida’s face. Rose calls Slater Red Dragon and Axel doesn’t get it. Dallas calls Rida into the ring for a showdown, but it’s going to be a rap battle. Bo Rida (seriously) puts on a hat, sunglasses and gold chain before calling Flo very disrespectful. “You need to express yourself in a more discerning manner. All you have is ace high but I have a full house like I’m Danny Tanner.” Flo Rida does his own rap and the fans aren’t really responding until he introduces the Dudley Boyz for a tag match.

Dudley Boyz vs. Bo Dallas/Curtis Axel

Joined in progress with Dallas (now in a singlet) fighting out of a headlock until it’s off to Axel for some shots to Bubba’s jaw. That means it’s time for the Bo-Train victory lap around the ring in a funny bit. Back in and D-Von takes over on Axel with a running clothesline in the corner for two. Bubba comes in off a blind tag and the reverse 3D drops Axel again. Slater gets on the apron but Rida shoves him over the top, meaning it’s time for What’s Up. 3D puts Axel away at 4:48.

Rating: D. Hey did you know that Flo Rida is a celebrity? Because he really is. Like, he’s someone people know and pay money to see and such. If you didn’t, you certainly do after watching this match because that’s all this match existed to accomplish. This was nothing more than “hey we’ve got someone you might have heard of on our show!” and that makes for another waste of time.

AJ Styles is about to introduce himself to the WWE but Chris Jericho, his opponent tonight, interrupts. Jericho talks about AJ’s success around the world but he’s never done it here. Good luck tonight and welcome to the big leagues.

Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles

The fans are entirely behind AJ as Jericho chops away to start. AJ flips over him and goes to the apron, only to get dropkicked out to the floor in a good looking shot. Back in and Styles grabs a headlock as the announcers try to talk about AJ’s pre-WWE run without mentioning companies by name. The drop down into the dropkick sends Jericho to the floor but Chris trips him face first onto the apron as we take a break.

Back with Jericho holding a chinlock before both guys try cross bodies at the same time. AJ is up first with some quick strikes to the face and a running clothesline in the corner. The Walls don’t work so Chris settle with a northern lights suplex for two, followed by the running enziguri for the same. AJ stops a charge with a raised boot and hits the springboard forearm for two of his own. The Walls are broken up but AJ misses a top rope splash. The Lionsault hits knees but AJ can’t quite get the Clash. Jericho rolls into a cradle but AJ pushes forward into a sunset flip for the pin at 13:47.

Rating: B. This was exactly what AJ’s singles debut needed to be as he hung with one of the better in ring workers on the roster and pinned him with a counter. Really good stuff here and AJ looks like a major player. They’re saving that Clash for a big moment though and it’s going to blow the roof off the place when it hits.

Post match AJ offers a handshake and Jericho accepts before pulling AJ in. Jericho says something we can’t hear before leaving with no violence.

Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch

Becky goes right after her to start but Sasha takes it to the mat and hits a running slap to the face of all things for two. We hit a neck crank on Lynch for a bit before she grabs a t-bone for two of her own. The double knees in the corner gets the same for Sasha and there’s the Bank Statement, only to have Charlotte come in for the DQ at 3:33.

Rating: C. It was working while it lasted but the DQ makes the most sense. You don’t want to have Becky get screwed over one night and then have her lose clean the next night, even if it’s to Sasha. It’s also nice to see Sasha get to be herself for a change instead of being the weird female New Day member or whatever the heck that was supposed to be.

Charlotte beats Becky down and gives Sasha the Natural Selection before posing with the title. Three way seems likely.

Goldust puts on R-Truth’s headphones for some reason. R-Truth comes in and thinks Goldust is gay but it turns out that Goldust just wants to be a team. Uh…..yeah.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray pounds him into the corner to start as Cole actually has the nerve to bring up the stuff around Survivor Series. That feels so long ago but it was only two months. A running forearm to the back of the head puts Kane down as we take a break about a minute into the match. Back with Bray missing the backsplash and what sounds like a RANDY SAVAGE chant. Kane drops an elbow for two and the fans go crazy with the booing. A release Rock Bottom gets two for Bray and a Harper distraction lets Sister Abigail put Kane away at 7:03.

Rating: D. I can’t blame the fans for booing this one out of the building. We’ve covered Kane vs. Wyatt so many times now that I have no idea why anyone would be interested in seeing them fight again. Kane has been around for so long now that there’s nothing left for him to do, especially when he’s just been Kane: midcard monster for so many years now. Why do you think the Daniel Bryan stuff went so well for him? It’s because it was so completely different and out of character for him that it was hard not to enjoy. Kane is talented, but we’ve covered it.

The Wyatts beat Kane down post match.

There’s a long black limo here which might have the big star inside. Post break Rich Brennan knocks on the door and it’s…..Miz. He hasn’t been around in three weeks so ratings are spiking as we speak. As he’s talking (and ratings are spiking), a black truck pulls up and it’s the Rock, who tells Miz to park the truck.

Rock runs into Rick Ross (just hanging around) and then Big Show. After a chat about how Big Show actually should have won (which Rock agrees with), Rock says he was cast as the Scorpion King because he won that match. Show looks like he’s about to cry and breaks the laptop he’s holding.

Next up Rock sees Lana and brings up that night in Brooklyn with Rusev on Raw. What people don’t know is that Lana came to Rock’s hotel room for some wine and “special exercises” that night, including the one legged Russian vacuum. Lana smiles quite a bit until Rusev comes up and sneers quite a bit. The engagement is brought up and Rusev congratulates him for having such a flexible fiance. Rock talks to the camera as he’s walking towards the gorilla position (which he actually names) before saying he’s FINALLY back home.

Now in the ring, Rock asks if the people are ready for Wrestlemania. “JBL is ready. Michael Cole is ready. That other black dude that I don’t know is ready.” The fans chant for the Randy Savage lookalike in the front row so Rock says it’s time to go off script. He asks who the Savage/Hogan/Undertaker impersonators are (“The weed must be good in Miami tonight.”) but doesn’t have much to say to them. Cool little moment though. Wrestlemania is in a few months but it’s time to talk about tonight…..and here’s New Day.

Woods says that the black guy Rock didn’t know is named Byron Saxton and he’s the best commentator at that table. Kofi: “How about we talk about the black guys that you do know?” Woods brings up beating the Usos so badly that when they walk north, they’re looking south. As for Rock though, if he’s the People’s Champion, where’s his gold? I mean, New Day has gold around their waists as well as in the form of Francesca II. Big E. rips on Miami for losing LeBron James but says Rock did the same thing when he went to Hollywood. Was that for the people or for the paycheck? Either way, New Day rocks.

Rock says he does know who New Day is. They’re the Tag Team Champions, extremely entertaining, and wearing llama anatomy on their heads. New Day: “YOU CAN’T SAY THAT ON TV!” Woods corrects him so Rock calls Big E. a she. “Big mama didn’t like that!” Rock thinks Big E. is strong and nerdy. It’s like the Incredible Hulk banged Urkel. Woods drops his trombone and asks if he did that. 90’s TV fans will find that line funny.

Rock offers to stick Francesca II somewhere but New Day calls for a huddle. They decline and start to leave but Rock says not so fast because he has a plan B. Cue the Usos to go after New Day with Big E. getting a Rock Bottom. Woods is left alone with Rock and it’s a double superkick into the spinebuster to set up the People’s Elbow.

Paige/Natalya vs. Brie Bella/Alicia Fox

Natalya and Alicia get things going but it’s quickly off to Brie for the seated abdominal stretch. The YES Kicks have Natalya in trouble but Brie Mode misses, allowing Paige to come in for the PTO. Alicia makes the save so Paige puts Brie away with the Rampaige for the pin at 2:45.

WWE is working with the Boys and Girls Club for anti-bullying stuff.

Miz is in the ring to complain about being interrupted but his opponent’s music cuts him off.

Kalisto vs. The Miz

Non-title. Miz stomps him down in the corner but a headscissors sends him to the floor for a suicide dive from the champ. Back in and Kalisto rolls over Miz’s back into a front facelock. A springboard cross body gets two for Kalisto and we take a break. THIS MATCH gets a break? I had the finish written out as soon as Kalisto’s music hit and we take a break?

Back with Miz getting two off a clothesline and dropping a top rope ax handle for the same. He stops to yell at the fans though, allowing Kalisto to kick him in the head and hit the corkscrew cross body for two of his own. Miz’s short DDT gets the same and he loads up the Skull Crushing Finale, only to have Kalisto kick off the ropes into the Salida Del Sol for the pin at 9:33.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to see here with a pretty easy to guess finish. If nothing else though, it’s nice to see Kalisto getting a win and not losing the title three days after he wins it in the first place. Hopefully he’s done with Del Rio as there’s only so much you can do with that feud and they passed it after their second match.

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Rusev/Sheamus

Rusev and Reigns slug it out to start but the League is quickly sent to the floor, allowing Ambrose to dive on both guys as we take an early break. Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock and diving over for the hot tag. Ambrose goes nuts as is his custom and cleans house, only to miss a dive over the barricade and coming up with a bad knee. Rusev drags him back to ringside and sends him back first into the barricade a few times.

Back in and Rusev gets two off some gutwrench suplexes before it’s off to Sheamus. Three straight Irish Curses have Dean’s back in even more trouble and we hit the chinlock. Rusev drops some elbows and puts on a chinlock of his own. Back to Sheamus for the forearms to the chest and back to send Dean outside, only to have Ambrose do his apron 619 and score with a clothesline.

That’s enough for the hot tag to Reigns as everything breaks down. Sheamus gets a Samoan Drop on the floor and Rusev takes the apron boot. Del Rio and Barrett have to be chased off though and Rusev hits two straight superkicks, followed by the Brogue Kick for two with Dean making the save. Ambrose dives off the apron to take out Rusev and Reigns spears Sheamus for the pin at 15:18.

Rating: B-. This was a step above your standard Smackdown main event tag match, even though it’s something like the 948^th time that Reigns has beaten the League. I can’t even remember the group last thing they actually pulled off aside from taking the US Title back from Kalisto. Then again this is exactly what we were expecting them to become and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Post match Reigns and Ambrose set up the announcers’ tables and Double Bomb Rusev through the English version. Reigns’ music plays for all of ten seconds before Stephanie power walks out. The main event at Fastlane is…..Ambrose vs. Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. Interesting, but so much for the stipulations meaning anything tonight.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a really good example of a show that was good at three hours but would have been great at two hours. As usual, there’s too much filler weighing down an otherwise good show. On top of that, I’m really not a fan of the “Authority evaluation” stuff as it makes me think the roster isn’t trying the rest of the time. Or that the wrestlers are stupid enough to believe that they might have a fair chance instead of whoever the Authority wants to get the shot. Still though, good enough and we have a PPV main event set to get us to Wrestlemania so there’s at least an idea now.

Results

Kevin Owens b. Dolph Ziggler – Pop Up Powerbomb

Dudley Boyz b. Bo Dallas/Curtis Axel – 3D to Axel

AJ Styles b. Chris Jericho – Sunset flip

Sasha Banks b. Becky Lynch via DQ when Charlotte interfered

Bray Wyatt b. Kane – Sister Abigail

Paige/Natalya b. Brie Bella/Alicia Fox – Rampaige to Bella

Kalisto b. The Miz – Salida Del Sol

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Rusev/Sheamus – Spear to Sheamus

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: January 21, 2016
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and Roman Reigns is already in trouble tonight with a handicap match against the entire League of Nations. This show is almost destined to end with a big brawl between most of the different major factions in the Rumble and it wouldn’t feel right if things ended any differently. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Chris Jericho to open things up. It’s been fourteen months since he’s been on Smackdown but he wants to talk about three days from now, which will be the biggest Royal Rumble of all time. Jericho instructs the monkeys to show us what happened on Monday, which leads us into the three and a half minute recap of most of Monday’s events, including the Highlight Reel to end the show.

Back in the arena, Jericho says Brock may be the beast incarnate but Jericho is here to save the WWE. That’s Sunday thought because right now, he’s here to be interrupted by the New Day. Big E. wishes shame on Jericho for destroying Francesca and now making light of things while New Day is in mourning. Woods thinks there should be a documentary made about Christal (yes Christal) called Making a Brass Murderer.

Jericho is so cold blooded that he wouldn’t give a crippled crab a crutch. We get a moment of silence for Francesca but Jericho says this, along with the horns on New Day’s heads, are stupid. Jericho thinks they need better unicorn names, like Sparkles, Bartholomew, Rootie and Tootie. That’s enough to get them into the ring but Jericho says they already have a six man scheduled.

New Day vs. Usos/Dolph Ziggler

Maybe this will be a bit more entertaining than the rather boring Jericho vs. New Day segments. I know they sound great on paper but they’re really not working in practice. Dolph has some face paint of its own. Kofi and Jimmy get things going with Kingston taking over and telling the fans not to call them Rootie Tooties. It’s quickly off to Jey for two off a double back elbow. It’s off to Woods (or Tootie, giving me flashbacks to the Facts of Life, which is odd as I’ve never watched the show) who gets caught in a neckbreaker from Ziggler, followed by a big elbow drop for two.

Big E. comes in for a quick belly to belly and the Warrior Splash. As usual there is no reference to their history together because once something ends in WWE, it is never brought up again ever, or at least until they go back to that exact story. It’s back to Kofi for a chinlock but he tries to go up top and gets dropkicked out of the air.

The hot tag brings in Jimmy to clean house with dropkicks all around and a running Umaga Attack to Kofi. Big E. low bridges him though and we take a break. Back with Big E. holding Jimmy in the abdominal stretch and Woods shouting at the fans. Woods gets two off a faceplant as Ranallo mentions Xavier going for his fourth college degree. That’s just impressive.

Jimmy kicks Big E. away and scores with a Whisper in the Wind, allowing the real hot tag to Ziggler. Everything breaks down and Jey dropkicks everyone he can find. Well everyone not on his team and not wearing a referee shirt that is. A double dive takes out Kofi and Big E., leaving Woods to take a triple superkick for the pin at 14:44.

Rating: C. This was your standard Smackdown six man tag and there’s nothing wrong with that. New Day continues to be amusing as they’re actually going from one step to another with their comedy instead of doing the same stuff over and over for months and being surprised when the reactions die off. This is where the Usos excel though and these matches are always worth at least a quick look.

Ranallo refers to Reigns having to face all four members of the League of Nations as a “stiff test.” That’s rather subtle.

Rumble By the Numbers video.

Becky Lynch vs. Alicia Fox

Charlotte and Flair (kind of surprising to see him on Smackdown) are on commentary. Fox runs her over to start and takes Becky to the floor for a kick to the chest. For some reason (likely fallout from her being crazy) Alicia grabs a northern lights suplex on the floor and holds the bridge for a count that is never coming. Back in and Becky starts her clotheslines comeback until Fox knees her in the face. Not that it matters as Becky reverses a slam into the Disarm-Her for the tap at 2:59.

It’s time for MizTV with guests Dean Ambrose and Kevin Owens. Miz explains the rules of a Last Man Standing match until Ambrose comes out to cut him off. Dean says Sunday isn’t really even a match because it’s more of an amusement park. Miz asks Ambrose if he thinks he can do a better job hosting this show.

The fan reactions send Miz to sit in the corner and Dean gets back to the amusement park idea. He goes outside and points to the apron, which is the first ride he’s going to take Owens on. “Has anyone ever noticed that Owens kind of looks like a bear?” That’s why he calls the edge of the steps the bear trap because he can get Owens’ hand caught behind them and hit him with anything he wants, including the new Smackdown announcer. That leaves Dean with the announcers’ table, which he calls Memory Lane. He can’t wait to give Owens the kind of beating he deserves on this table but here’s Kevin to interrupt.

Owens says he’s more of a zoo enthusiast than an amusement park guy (amen brother) but more than that he’s obsessed with getting his Intercontinental Title back. That’s why on Sunday he’ll do whatever he has to do to get his title back and leave Dean laying. Ambrose wants to fight right now but Miz jumps Dean from behind at the mention of DeanTV. This brings Owens to the ring…..to lay out Miz with the Pop Up Powerbomb. Dean fights back on Kevin but can’t give him Dirty Deeds. Owens bails so Dean gives Miz the DDT instead before counting to ten (it wouldn’t be the build to a Last Man Standing match without one of those).

The Wyatts are here.

Bray Wyatt vs. Ryback

After a clip of the Wyatts laying Brock out on Raw, Ryback hits an early cross body and pounds away at Bray’s head. There’s the Thesz Press with Ryback ramming the back of the head into the mat. For some reason Ryback heads outside though, allowing Bray to Rock Bottom him onto the apron as we take a break.

Back with Ryback running Bray over and hitting a…..dang it he hit a superkick. You would think RYBACK would be immune from using that move but it really is spreading out of control. Bray avoids the top rope splash though and gets two off the backsplash. Ryback hits a quick spinebuster and Meathook but Harper offers a distraction, allowing Strowman to send Ryback into the steps. Sister Abigail puts Ryback away at 8:00.

Rating: C-. I feel sorry for Ryback at times. It’s clear that he’s trying to get better but there’s no room for someone like him to get anywhere because he’s one of those guys that is going to be stuck in the midcard loop until he leaves because that’s how WWE works. Bray is the same way but on a slightly higher loop.

Post match the Wyatts lay Ryback out again.

Stardust vs. Titus O’Neil

Yes again. Titus starts fast with the hard overhead chops but Stardust takes him to the floor and sends Titus into the barricade. Back in and we hit the crossface chickenwing for a bit before Titus comes back with a shoulder and clothesline. Such varied offense. Stardust gets two off a DDT but gets crotched on top, setting up the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 3:04.

Rating: D. I’m sick of seeing these two fight, especially when there’s really no reason for them to keep having matches. Are they really still after each other because Titus came into Stardust’s room or something for a few weeks in a row? If nothing else I do like this better than more dull Prime Time Players matches though.

Kalisto talks about Alberto being up there with Mil Mascaras, Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero in Mexican wrestling, Sure Del Rio is bigger and stronger, but Kalisto has been fighting Goliaths his entire life. Del Rio comes in and says Kalisto’s wins were flukes. The League appears and beats Kalisto down.

Roman Reigns comes out for his match but says he’s not really surprised that the odds were stacked against him again. That just makes the fight bigger and he can’t wait to come back home with his WWE World Title. Simple and to the point here.

Roman Reigns vs. League of Nations

Sheamus starts for the team but can’t drag Reigns over to the corner. It’s off to Rusev instead but he’s low bridged to the floor and driven into the barricade. Back in and it’s quickly off to Sheamus for a hard knee to the ribs. That means it’s back to Rusev, who shouts at Reigns to tag his partner.

Sheamus puts on a chinlock with a knee in the back until Reigns sends him into the corner for a breather. Rusev comes in and misses a charge, allowing Reigns to come back with some clotheslines. The referee tells them to go home because they’ve got one minute, meaning it’s time for Del Rio and Barrett to come in and jump Reigns for the DQ at 4:57. Barrett and Del Rio never tagged in.

Rating: D. Why not just make this Rusev/Sheamus instead of all four? I mean, if Barrett and Del Rio can’t do anything (for whatever reason with Del Rio), why even list them? You could still do the same ending and the match might be a bit more interesting with less ridiculous odds for Roman to overcome.

Post match the League keeps up the beatdown until the Usos come in. This draws out the Wyatts for the long beatdown on Reigns to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. What a worthless show. I really don’t care any more about Sunday’s show than I did before and most of the matches were either too short to rate or bad. It’s really amazing how far this show has fallen in just two weeks after debuting on USA. Lame show here that you really could have skipped.

Results

Usos/Dolph Ziggler b. New Day – Triple Superkick to Woods

Becky Lynch b. Alicia Fox – Disarm-Her

Bray Wyatt b. Ryback – Sister Abigail

Titus O’Neil b. Stardust – Clash of the Titus

Roman Reigns b. League of Nations via DQ when all four attacked Reigns

Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

We wrap things up here with last year’s show. The Rumble is back to the thirty entrant variety which is probably the best move all around. The odds on favorite is Jericho who returned very recently before this show. Other than that we’ve got Daniel Bryan defending his newly won world title against Big Show and Henry in a cage, along with Punk defending against Ziggler. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about going to Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry

Bryan is champion and beat Show at TLC by cashing in his MITB case in 45 seconds. Show beat Henry at the same show and ran over Bryan’s girlfriend AJ on Raw to set all this up. This is one fall to a finish and it’s pin/submission/escape. Bryan immediately goes for the corner but Henry pulls him down and Show runs Bryan over for two. Show crushes Henry against the cage wall but has to stop to pull Bryan back inside. Bryan tries to run up again but Show catches him by the ankle and slams him back in.

Show loads up the WMD but hits the cage wall instead. The champion fires off some kicks but gets headbutted right back down. Bryan kicks the knee out even harder and fires off some kicks to Henry to keep the other monster down. He goes for the door but you know this isn’t ending that quickly. Henry makes the stop and demands that the referee CLOSE THAT DOOR. Show superkicks Henry down and it’s his turn to take over for awhile.

Bryan gets slammed down but Henry is back up again. A few punches put Show down because a dozen chair shots usually can’t, but a few punches can. Actually that’s a great way to keep Henry looking strong. The fans are cheering for Bryan as Henry and Show collide to put all three guys down. Show gets back up and clotheslines Bryan down a few times before superkicking him in the face. The chokeslam is countered and Bryan hits a tornado DDT on Show for two.

The LeBell (NO!) Lock is put on Show but Henry breaks it up in about a second. The WMD gets two on Henry but Bryan makes the save, which ticks Show off. Bryan SPRINTS up the cage but Show chases after him and grabs Bryan before he can get out. Bryan sits on the top of the cage and pounds away, only to be caught again. The champion is literally hanging from Show’s wrist before finally letting go and falling to the floor to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This really wasn’t all that great. At the end of the day, it was a lot of the same sequence over and over again with Show and Henry not having a ton of interaction at all. The ending didn’t look great either and I’m not sure why Show would just hold him out over the floor like that. This falls under the category of “…..really?” as it’s hard to buy Bryan keeping the belt here.

Long video on Cena and all the stuff he does for WWE. The man is insanely committed to that company.

Divas of Doom/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Kelly Kelly

The Divas of Doom are Beth and Natalya. Natalya and Tamina start things off and they collide a few times. Tamina slaps her in the face before chopping Nattie down for two. Off to Eve for that bouncing moonsault for two. Since that’s a pretty lame move, Natalya charges her into the corner and brings in Beth who blocks a rolling splash with knees to Eve’s back.

Off to let’s say Nikki for some basic stomps to the back and a quickly broken chinlock. Jerry is asked what he likes about the Bellas and he can’t even get an answer out. Not hot tag brings in Alicia who is immediately sent into the corner and chinlocked as well. Alicia finally counters by flipping Nikki forward and makes the actual hot tag to Kelly. There’s the screaming headscissors and a faceplant for two. Everything breaks down and almost everyone heads to the floor, where Kelly hits a HUGE dive to take everyone out. Back in and Beth SLAPS herself in to hit the Glam Slam on Kelly for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Divas match: they did their “sexy” spots, they had barely there outfits, Kelly screamed a lot, Beth beat up Kelly to end things. One interesting note from a year later: would they even be able to put together an eight Divas tag now? I’m thinking through the roster and I don’t know if I can name eight girls on the main shows right now.

We recap Ryder getting hurt at the hands of Kane. This was during the period where Ryder went from one of the hottest things in the company and US Champion to a rag doll that Kane destroyed over and over and over in the span of a few weeks until his push was completely destroyed. Eve blamed Cena for Ryder having his back broken for some reason.

Ryder is wheeled in and patronized by Johnny Ace (remember him?). Ace has a private room set up for Ryder but Eve comes up to yell at Ace first. Not much here but it’s setting up stuff later on tonight.

Kane vs. John Cena

This is when Kane had the welder’s mask look. Brawl to start with Kane beating Cena down into the corner as the fans are split on Johnny. A clothesline puts them both on the floor where Kane is sent knees first into the steps. Back in and Cena can’t hit the AA on Kane. That makes sense as after all, Kane is probably 175lbs lighter than Show who Cena throws around with near ease most of the time.

Kane kicks Cena down and gets two off an uppercut. A suplex gets the same and it’s off to a chinlock. Cena fights up and is sent into the buckle for his efforts followed by Kane’s stupid smother hold. John tries to counter into a Crossface but Kane comes out with a side slam. The idea here is that Cena can’t get anything going at all. The top rope clothesline takes Cena’s head off but Cena pops up and hits his shoulder block.

The Shuffle is countered by a grab of Cena’s throat and a big boot gets two. Cena blocks a superplex and hits the Shuffle off the top. That’s certainly a new one. The AA is countered by an elbow to the face and Kane kicks Cena out to the floor. Booker talks about how Cena is a good kid. I don’t think I ever recall Cena being called a kid since like 2004. Kane pounds on Cena in the aisle and that’s a double countout so we can do this match again next month.

Rating: D+. I know that’s a common theme tonight but it fits here again. These two didn’t work all that well together and the story was even worse. Then again, this was nothing more than giving Cena something to do for a few months until he could get ready for the biggest match of his career. This didn’t work for the most part.

The fight continues into the back where Kane finds a chair to lay to lay out Cena. To the shock of no one paying attention, Kane finds the door to Ryder’s private room and kicks the door in. Ryder is taken to the ring and tombstoned as Eve screams. Cena comes out to try to save Eve but gets chokeslammed by Kane who walks away. Ryder does a stretcher job, but somehow it would get even worse for him in the coming weeks.

BE A STAR!

Zack is wheeled out and Cena is booed for it. That’s the part of this story that never held up for me: why is this Cena’s responsibility? Ryder was the United States Champion. He should be able to defend himself.

We get a video on the Rock just like Cena got earlier. It’s shot in the back of Rock’s car and is more like a mini documentary. It focuses on how insane Rock’s life is and all of the stuff he does around the world.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

This is right after Brodus redebuted as the Funkasaurus so he was still a new character at this point. Brodus dances a lot, Drew punches him in the corner, Brodus headbutts him and hits the cross body (called WHAT THE FUNK) for the pin in about a minute.

Buy Slim Jims! For the troops!

We recap Punk vs. Ziggler who is challenging Punk on Ace’s behalf. This is during the “Ace is boring” phase where Punk made fun of him no matter what he did, so Ace helped Ziggler get a win over Punk to earn a title shot. Ace is also guest referee tonight just because. He’s openly admitted he’s going to screw Punk out of the title tonight, so HHH is going to evaluate his job status the next night on Raw, meaning Ace has to play nice.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Punk is defending and Ace is referee. Johnny Ace is John Laurinitis but that’s a hard name to spell. Before the match, Ace says he’ll be the outside referee. Ok then. Wait we’re still not ready to go as Ace throws Vickie out as well. We finally get going and Ziggler tries a quick Fameasser which is countered into a failed GTS attempt. Punk tells Dolph it was that close. They feel each other out a bit longer until Ziggler starts strutting.

Punk finally gets his hands on Ziggler and puts on an abdominal stretch, complete with a wrapped toe and slicking back his hair ala Ziggler. Dolph heads to the floor and gets taken out by a suicide dive but shoves Punk off the top rope once they get back inside. Ziggler drops about eight elbows in a row and a jumping version gets two. We hit the chinlock with Ziggler cranking on the head way more than necessary.

The champ starts firing off chops and strikes before getting caught in the sleeper. That goes nowhere but neither does Punk’s Anaconda Vice attempt. Back to the sleeper but Dolph can’t get it on all the way. Instead there’s a perfect dropkick for two on Punk but the Fameasser is countered into a helicopter bomb for two. A swinging neckbreaker by the champ puts Dolph into the corner where the knee/bulldog combination actually works.

The GTS is countered into a slingshot but Punk lands on the middle rope. He comes off with a spinning cross body but Ziggler rolls through for a near fall in a cool sequence. The high kick gets two for Punk as does the Macho Elbow, drawing a Randy Savage chant. The GTS is countered again and the referee goes down as per the requirement in a world title mach. Punk hooks the Vice but Ace is checking on the down referee. Then Punk gets a rollup and there’s STILL no referee.

Ace sends the referee back in as Punk loads up the GTS, but Ziggler’s legs knock Ace to the floor. Ace sees the pin but refuses to count because he thinks Punk did it on purpose. Ziggler counters another GTS attempt into the Fameasser for two before pounding away a bit. The champ comes back with a slingshot and the GTS gets a pin from both referees to retain the title.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going as we were all waiting on the Ace stuff. The feud would go on for weeks until Jericho finally showed up to give Punk someone with charisma to feud with. The near falls at the end were a lot better than Ace, but it occurs to me that this was pretty much the same match he had last year. Good stuff though.

Rumble by the Numbers:

30 Superstars

1 winner

31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble

21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania

695 entrants who have been eliminated

39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)

13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane

11 eliminations for Kane in 2001

194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show

421,883 people who have attended the Rumble

62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record

3 wins for Austin

1 second that Santino lasted in 2009

2 women who have competed in the Rumble

1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each

27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four

55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

The Miz is #1 and talks about how he’s going back to the main event of Wrestlemania this year. His former apprentice Alex Riley is #2 which isn’t really surprising given how RANDOM these draws are. I always liked Riley and he always got a good reaction, which is clearly why he doesn’t get on TV more. Riley pounds away to start and runs Miz over with a forearm but walks into a big boot. Maybe it’s the old school fan in me but I don’t like a 6’0 guy using a big boot. Miz talks trash and low bridges Riley out with ease.

R-Truth, Miz’s former partner, is #3. Truth fires off some kicks and avoids the Finale before hitting a kind of powerslam. Miz gets sent to the apron for the second time but Truth turns his back to watch Cody come out at #4. A quick Disaster Kick puts Truth down (Cole says it hits Miz because those two are so hard to tell apart) and Truth gets double teamed for awhile. He manages to send Cody to the apron but gets caught in the Reality Check as the clock seems to be speeding up.

Justin Gabriel is #5 and things speed WAY up. A big spinwheel kick puts Miz down before Cody goes nuts on Gabriel in the corner. Primo is #6 to keep things low key to start. Actually he speeds things up as well and hits a sweet headscissors out of the corner to take Gabriel down. Truth hits the spinning forearm on Cody, only to be dumped out by Miz a second later. Since he’s still crazy, Truth pulls Miz to the floor and lays him out on the outside.

Mick Foley is #7 to fire up the crowd a little bit. He dumps Primo almost immediately before getting beaten on by Cody. Foley looks really old and slow here but to be fair, he is in fact old and slow. In a HILARIOUS bit, Ricardo Rodriguez is #8 but comes out in an old banged up, rusted out rental car. He’s even got the Del Rio scarf to hide some of his hideous pale body. We get a HUGE Ricardo chant as Foley and Gabriel have no idea what to do here.

Ricardo takes Cody down and pounds away before proposing an alliance with Foley of all people. They actually do team up and toss Gabriel, allowing Ricardo to do a CM Punk knee slide. We keep the comedy going with Santino at #9 and Ricardo runs from the Cobra. Santino beats on Ricardo and literally rolls him around the ring before pulling his trunks up and tossing Rodriguez.

Now we get my favorite spot of the match as Santino puts on the Cobra and Mick puts on Socko and it’s TIME FOR A DUEL!!! Before they can collide though it’s Epico at #10 but he falls to the powers of the socks and is out almost immediately. The socks COLLIDE until Miz and Cody pop back in (neither was eliminated) and dump Santino. Miz gets Socko but Cody dumps Mick. Fun comedy bit here to give us a good first act to the match.

Kofi Kingston is #11 and hits a double springboard clothesline before hitting a double Boom Drop. In at #12 is Jerry Lawler (Cole: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”) and he causes Miz to hit Cody by mistake. Lawler speeds things up and hits the middle rope punch with the lowered strap, only to be put out by Cody. Ezekiel Jackson is #13 and gets to do the usual power moves on each guy while the others lay around.

Jinder Mahal is #14 and the fans start chanting USA, even though the only two Americans in this match are Rhodes and Miz. Great Khali comes in at #15 and Mahal panics. Everyone gets chops and Mahal is out in just a few seconds. Jackson tries to pound away and is put out almost immediately as well. Hunico is #16 on that stupid bicycle of his and hits a spinning cross body on Miz and his Angle Slam on Cody.

Khali chops Hunico down as the ring is staying relatively empty. Booker T is #17 to surprise Cole. You would think he would have noticed that the man sitting next to him for over two hours wasn’t wearing pants but he never was considered that bright. Now we get the spot of the match as Miz shoves Kofi to the floor but Kofi holds himself up by his hands. Miz shoves Kofi into a handstand but Kingston WALKS ON HIS HANDS ACROSS THE FLOOR TO THE STEPS to get back in. FREAKING AWESOME MAN!

Dolph Ziggler is #18 as the ring is starting to get full. Hacksaw Jim Duggan makes his annual return at #19 to pop the crowd huge. He cleans house for a bit and we get a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER on Miz and Rhodes. Cody avoids a charge in the corner though and dumps Duggan in less than a minute. That’s the best idea at the end of the day. Miz and Cody team up to put out Booker and Khali at the same time.

We complete the trio with Michael Cole at #20. At the moment we’ve got Cole, Miz, Rhodes, Kingston, Hunico and Ziggler in the ring. Kharma returns at #21 in her only WWE match ever. She hits Cole so hard she knocks his headgear off so Cole eliminates himself. Well he gets to the apron where King and Booker eliminate him. Ziggler tells Kharma to get out so she DRILLS him. Kharma dumps Hunico but Ziggler sneaks up and eliminates her (Booker calls this doing the impossible. Not really Book.) to a ton of heat.

Sheamus is #22 to give us some A level star power. Well maybe B+ level. Things speed up with Sheamus destroying everyone and tossing Kofi out. There are the ten forearms in the ropes to Cody and ten to Miz as well. The Zig Zag is countered and Road Dogg is another surprise return at #23. He gets to clean house for a bit and earns a “you still got it” chant. In far less than 90 seconds, Jey Uso is #24.

Everyone pairs off until Jack Swagger is #25. After a few suplexes everything settles down into its usual brawling phase until Barrett is #26. He throws out Roadie and stomps away on a lot of people. David Otunga gets the lucky spot at #27 and poses a lot before he comes out. Not a lot happens so Orton comes in at #28 to pick things up a bit. Remember we’re in his hometown so everyone goes nuts.

Cody breaks up the RKO on Barrett so Randy hits the Elevated DDT on both Cody and Ziggler at the same time because he can. There’s an RKO to Barrett and he’s out. Chris Jericho, complete with a blackout of the arena, makes his return at #29. He’s still a face at this point and dumps Otunga to a good reaction. Big Show is #30 which was considered a letdown at the time. Dude, he was world champion a month ago. That’s hardly Darren Young coming out.

As Show comes in he pulls Swagger out from the floor, giving us a final grouping of Miz, Rhodes, Ziggler, Sheamus, Orton, Jericho and Big Show. That’s a pretty solid grouping. Show dumps Cody and Miz at the same time to get us down to five. Show tosses Ziggler as well to get us down to four. The big man cleans house but walks into an RKO, allowing Orton and Sheamus to pick him up and Randy clotheslines him out. Jericho dumps Orton immediately thereafter and we’re down to two.

The fans are entirely behind Jericho here so Sheamus runs him over a few times. Jericho’s bulldog is countered but Sheamus can’t throw him over the corner. Jericho charges into the Irish Curse but Sheamus can’t hit the High Cross. We get a great false finish with Jericho clotheslining Sheamus to the apron and then knocking him down to the point where Sheamus is hanging on by his leg. Sheamus comes back in with the slingshot shoulder but the Brogue Kick is countered into the Walls.

After the hold is broken Jericho gets knocked to the apron where he BARELY hangs on. They go to the top rope and both fall to the apron, meaning if they hit the floor they’re out. Both guys get back in and there’s the Codebreaker to Sheamus. Jericho gets Sheamus upside down but can’t get him out. A shot to the face ticks Sheamus off and he catches a Codebreaker attempt to put Jericho on the apron. The Brogue Kick sends Sheamus to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This is one of those Rumbles that is great fun as you watch it live but it loses some steam on a second viewing. They spent a bit too much time on nostalgia and funny ideas here but they were still really good ideas. The ending with Sheamus and Jericho ROCKED and I have no idea why they never got to have a long PPV match. This is a really good Rumble but it never reaches that excellent level that some of them get to.

Sheamus celebrates a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is a unique show as it has a way to save itself from a bad first half. That’s what happened here as the last two matches were certainly good enough to save it from the horrible first few matches. As usual the last two guys would both get world title shots with the winner getting the opening match instead of the real main event, but going on before Rock vs. Cena is hardly torture.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bella Twins/Divas of Doom vs. Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kane vs. John Cena

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Just like last year, not much difference here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/01/29/royal-rumble-2012/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2011
Date: January 30, 2011
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,113
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

This is a weird Rumble as for one year only they tried having forty people in the Rumble instead of the usual thirty. It didn’t quite work so they never tried it again, but for this year as a result there are only four matches on the whole card: two world titles, a Divas match and the Rumble itself. This is one of those rumbles I barely remember. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is exactly what you would expect.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler

Edge is defending and if he uses the spear here, Ziggler wins the title because Vickie is a crooked boss. Dolph takes over early and pounds on Edge in the corner but gets whipped across the ring to shift momentum. This is during Cole’s heel phase so he’s very annoying at this point. A gutbuster gets two for the champion and he takes things to the floor. Ziggler is rammed into the apron and the barricade for good measure as Edge stands tall.

As they come back in, Ziggler grabs a neckbreaker for two and hits an elbow to the chest. Off to a chinlock as Dolph stays on the neck. The fans cheer for Edge of course and he fights up, only to get caught in a middle rope sunset flip. Edge comes back with a slingshot into the buckle and now Dolph is in trouble. A rollup out of the corner gets two for Edge but Dolph hits another neckbreaker for two of his own.

Off to the chinlock until Edge rolls out to the apron. Ziggler knocks him into the barricade and it’s back inside for the chinlock. Edge fights up but they both try cross bodies to put both guys down. Ziggy misses a Stinger Splash in the corner and Edge catches him in a flapjack to put both guys down again. Edge counters the Fameasser into a sitout powerbomb for two more but he can’t follow up.

The champion goes up but has to fight out of a superplex. Ziggler gets knocked down and hit by a top rope cross body, only for Ziggler to roll through for two. Now the fans start cheering for Ziggler as he gets two off a dropkick. The Zig Zag misses and Edge busts out the Edgecator of all things. Dolph grabs the rope so Edge dives at him on said ropes, only to clothesline himself on them.

The Fameasser gets two and both guys are down again. A big boot puts Ziggler down for about the seventh time and Edge gets into spear position. Like an idiot, Vickie reminds him of this, allowing Dolph to catch Edge in the sleeper. Edge rolls out of it and hits the Impaler for two as Vickie pulls the referee out of the ring. Vickie slaps Edge but the champion dodges a charging Dolph into a rollup for two.

She slaps Edge AGAIN so here’s Kelly Kelly to take Vickie down. In the melee the Zig Zag hits for two and a BIG pop on the kickout. There’s the sleeper and while trying to escape it, Edge knocks the referee down. Edge escapes the hold with a kind of Stunner and realizes there’s no referee or Vickie so there’s the spear to Ziggler. The referee wakes up and Edge hits an Unprettier to retain the title.

Rating: A-. Good stuff here again although the ending is kind of stupid. Eventually Edge would be stripped of the title for using the spear (I can’t remember if it was here or another match) and Ziggler would have a stupid 45 minutes or less reign. I don’t think anyone, including Dolph, considers that a real reign but hey, Ziggler is a former world champion so we have to respect him, right WWE?

We recap Orton vs. Miz. The champion Miz cashed in MITB on Orton back in November and beat him in a tables match at TLC. Tonight it’s an actual match which means Miz is likely in trouble.

Miz says he’ll win.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Miz has Riley with him here. Orton pounds away to start as Cole is already on his knees to suck Miz off. The champ is knocked out to the floor and gets sent into the barricades a few time. Back in and Orton kicks him in the face before stomping away a bit. Cole is already on one of his rants about how noble Miz is in comparison to Edge. Orton chokes on the ropes a bit as Cole says that Orton should have stated in advance that he wanted to brawl.

Riley finally guillotines Orton on the top rope to give Miz a chance. Orton shrugs the offense off and slugs Miz down, only to miss a running knee in the corner. Cole stays on his rant about how awesome Miz is as Riley interferes some more. Cole high fives Riley and Miz hooks a chinlock for a bit. Striker continues his brilliance by saying Miz is working on the midsection to set up the SKULL Crushing Finale. A running knee to Orton’s face gets two and it’s back to the chinlock.

Randy blocks a German Suplex and elbows Miz down to break the momentum. Miz comes right back with a big boot to the face for two and the champion is getting frustrated. Miz goes up and gets crotched right back down, allowing Orton to hit his daddy’s superplex for two. Randy starts his comeback with the clotheslines and the backbreaker to send Miz to the apron. Why would you go there against Orton? Perhaps it’s because he can backdrop Orton out to the floor to counter and have Riley stomp away a bit.

A top rope ax handle gets two for Miz so he pounds away on Orton’s head. Back to the chinlock but Orton fights out of this one much faster. Not that it matters though as Orton gets sent through the ropes and out to the floor where Miz catapults him into the post. Orton gets back in at nine and is all fired up, only to get punched into the corner. Randy comes back with a clothesline and the powerslam before hitting the circle stomp.

Riley breaks up something like a powerbomb, allowing Miz to hit a modified Reality Check for two. Both finishers are countered and Orton hits an Angle Slam of all things for two. I vaguely remember him using that around this time. Miz’s attempt at walking out fails but he gets in something we can’t see for two back inside.

Randy gets two off a rollup and there’s the Elevated DDT. Orton loads up the RKO but here’s the New Nexus for a distraction. Riley tries to come in but in a great looking spot, Orton LAUNCHES Riley over the top (and over the referee) onto Nexus. The RKO hits but Punk runs in with a GTS to keep the belt on Miz. Cole literally jumps for joy.

Rating: B. I was digging this match a lot and the ending would wind up making a lot more sense than it does on paper here. While Punk would obviously go on to feud with Punk for a few months, Miz would face Jerry Lawler of all people at Elimination Chamber before moving on to the main event of Wrestlemania. Good stuff here though and one of Miz’s best matches ever. Gee you hear that a lot when Orton is the opponent don’t you?

Dashing Cody Rhodes will not be here tonight because of his shattered face. This would lead to Dr. Cody Doom which was pretty awesome and then wound up being wasted.

Fans say who they think is going to win the Rumble.

Divas Title: Natalya vs. Laycool

Nattie beat them in a handicap match to win the title and this is the rematch. Before anything gets going though, we have an e-mail from the anonymous GM. We’re going to make it a four way just for the sake of making it a fourway and we want to have a new champion.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Layla vs. Eve Torres vs. Natalya

Nattie is defending as I said and this is one fall to a finish. Laycool goes after both other chicks to start and Eve gets double teamed. Natalya comes back with a slingshot to send Layla into Michelle as Matt actually tries to analyze this match. We get down to Laycool squaring off but before they do anything, Eve and Nattie come back in.

Layla breaks up the Sharpshooter on Eve so Natalya puts the Sharpshooter on BOTH OF THEM AT ONCE. Layla hits the neckbreaker on Eve to send her to the floor but Michelle kicks Eve out to the floor. Michelle misses a bit boot and takes Layla’s head off by mistake. She and the champ fight to the floor, allowing Eve to sneak in and steal the pin with a moonsault.

Rating: D+. That might become my default rating for Divas matches as most of them fall into the same category: not bad but nothing worth seeing at all for the most part. The double Sharpshooter was cool but it’s a five second sequence out of a five minute match. Also, why am I supposed to be excited about Eve winning the title when she wasn’t even important enough to put into the match in the first place?

Michelle is mad because she had Natalya covered at the same time but the referee didn’t see it.

A cleanshaven Daniel Bryan is excited for the Rumble because he could win. He’s with Gail at this point and the Bells come up to offer their condolences for trying to hook up with Bryan. The Bellas imply they’re better looking than Gail and a fight breaks out.

Rumble By The Numbers time!

40 entrants

1 winner

24 winners

656 losing entrants

39 eliminations by Shawn, a record

26 WWE Hall of Famers who have competed

183,932lbs that has competed in the Rumble, or 92 tons or 492 Big Shows

2 women who have competed in the Rumble

11 eliminations by Kane in 2001, a record

13 straight Rumbles for Kane, also a record

62:12 Mysterio lasted in the 2006 Rumble

1 second, the record for shortest time in the Rumble, held by Santino Marella

3 wins by Austin

2, the number of wins that spot #1 has produced, the same as #30

70% of winners have gone on to win the title at Mania

Royal Rumble

40 entrants this year and it’s Punk at #1 and before #2 comes out, here’s the Corre (Barrett, Jackson, Slater and Gabriel) to surround Punk. They jump him until Punk’s Nexus guys come out for the save. The GM sends an e-mail that says everyone not named CM Punk needs to get out or they’re out of the Rumble. Anyway Daniel Bryan is #2 and the internet explodes.

They speed things up to start and Bryan fires off some kicks to the ribs. Striker talks about how the internet loves this match as Bryan is sent to the apron. The dueling chants begin and Bryan misses a dropkick in the corner. Justin Gabriel is #3 and immediately goes after Punk. Bryan clotheslines CM down and Gabriel misses the 450, allowing Bryan to dump Justin out.

Zack Ryder, still a heel, is #4. He immediately takes Bryan down and hits the Broski Boot to both guys. Bryan launches Ryder into the air for a Rough Ryder into Punk, only to get dumped to the floor by Daniel. Back to Punk vs. Bryan until William Regal is #5. He starts busting out the knees to the face and some suplexes before hitting the knee trembler to Punk. The student and the teacher (Bryan and Regal) slug it out before Punk kicks the teacher in the head. Bryan kicks Punk in the head for kicking Regal in the head and only Daniel is left standing.

Ted DiBiase is #6 along with Maryse. Bryan rips off kicks to Regal before trying to dump Ted out. John Morrison is #7 to a BIG pop. He comes in (after slipping) with a slingshot kick to Regal and the Flying Chuck to Punk. A C4 takes Bryan down but DiBiase dumps Morrison to the apron. As Regal is eliminated, we get at the time the best Rumble save ever, as Morrison is knocked from the apron but catches himself on the barricade. His feet never touch as he pulls himself up to the barricade, tightrope walks down to the steps, jumps to said steps, kicks Regal in the head, and gets back in. That blew my mind live.

Yoshi Tatsu (Striker calls him the Poison Fist of the Pacific Rim because Striker likes to think he’s smart) is #8 and goes right after Punk. Husky Harris is #9 and he beats everyone not named Punk before standing guard over his leader. Chavo Guerrero is #10 as these intervals are getting really short. Chavo loads up Three Amigos on DiBiase but Punk breaks it up. Now Punk takes two of them but Morrison breaks it up at two. So this time Morrison takes two suplexes but BRYAN breaks it up and finally Daniel takes all three suplexes.

Chavo takes Harris down with a middle rope missile dropkick and Mark Henry is #11. For some reason Chavo dives on him and is immediately dumped out. Yoshi is sent out as well as JTG is #12. Michael McGillicutty is #13 and he takes out JTG almost immediately before teaming up with Harris to dump DiBiase. Christ Masters is #14 and puts Punk to the apron with the Masterlock unti McGillicutty makes the save. Masters and Bryan slug it out until Otunga is #15, giving Punk and the Nexus four members.

They gang up on and toss Bryan pretty easily and there goes Masters as well. There goes Morrison too and the elimination of Henry clears the ring. Tyler Reks from ECW gets to come in at #16 and you can figure out what happens to him in about 40 seconds. Vladimir Kozlov is #17 but the numbers catch up with him and it’s Punk who gets to do the honors. We’re just waiting for Cena to come out now.

Instead it’s R-Truth at #18 and it’s the same result. The only highlight is Punk hitting the knee in the corner and saying WHAT’S UP with a big goofy grin on his face. There goes Truth but Great Khali returns at #19 to scare Punk half to death. He fights all of the Nexus off and manages to dump Harris which is a big breakthrough. Khali chops Punk down and Mason Ryan, also of the Nexus, is #20. After a brief slugout he puts Khali out and we’re right back where we were.

In our second major return of the Rumble, Booker T is #21 and Striker FREAKS. Booker fires off as many kicks as he can and hits the Bookend on McGillicutty. You know we’re getting the Spinarooni but Ryan throws Booker out as soon as it’s over. Punk: “WE’RE GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!” All hope seems to be lost but heeeeeeeeeeeere’s Cena at #22. The hometown boy charges at the ring and puts out McGillicutty, Ryan and Otunga to get us down to one on one.

Cena pounds away and escapes the GTS before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Hornswoggle is #23 and is immediately kicked down by Punk. Atta boy CM! Punk loads up the GTS but Cena escapes and this the AA to toss Punk out. In next is Tyson Kidd at #24 and he gets caught between Cena and Horny. The Swogg busts out a headscissors before Cena hits the AA. In a decent visual, Horny hits an AA of his own allowing for the elimination by Cena.

Heath Slater is #25 and DEAR GOODNESS he looks hilarious in trunks. He might be as pale as Sheamus used to be and the visual is horrible. Horny hits some Sweet Shin Music and a Stunner followed by a double Five Knuckle Shuffle. There’s a Tadpole Splash and Slater is gone. Cole sounds like he’s about to be sick. Kofi Kingston is #26 and this should be interesting. Kofi fires off some kicks of course followed by some punches in the corner until Jack Swagger is #27.

Cole talks about the luck of #27 and Jerry correctly points out that the number is lucky in 30 man matches, not 40. Swagger hits the Vader Bomb on both full sized guys but as he goes after Hornswoggle, Kofi cross bodies Swagger down. There’s the Boom Drop with horny as a stepping stone and it’s King Sheamus at #28. Cena takes the Irish Curse and there’s only Horny left to face Sheamus. Horny loads up Sweet Shin Music but Cena saves Horny from elimination. The tiny man loads up the Tadpole Splash but gets Brogue Kicked out, thank goodness.

Mysterio is #29 and he hits a pair of headscissors on Swagger and Sheamus but Sheamus breaks up the 619. Trouble in Paradise takes Sheamus down but Swagger takes Kofi down. Rey hits a headscissors to put Swagger on the apron and a 619 gets the elimination. Wade Barrett is #30 and it turns into a bunch of mini brawls. Winds of Change take Cena down and Ziggler is #31. There’s a pretty big talent pool in there at the moment with Cena, Mysterio, Sheamus, Kingston, Ziggler and Barrett.

Barrett and Dolph go after Cena but Mysterio makes a save for no apparent reason. Diesel is the final big return at #32 and there’s your big pop. This is the appearance that set up Diesel vs. HHH and Punk for the latter half of the year. Everyone is stunned but I think it’s just at how black Diesel has gotten his hair. That’s some high quality polish. We get a Diesel chant and he cleans house in a much more effective way than you would expect. Diesel’s style is really good for something like this as he does so many basic moves but he’s so big that they look that much more impressive.

Drew McIntyre is #33 and we get a LOUD let’s go Diesel chant. Diesel gets caught in 619 position and in a very rare occurrence, the move gets booed. Alex Riley is #34 and Cole loses his mind when Miz’s music hits again. Diesel misses a big boot and gets kicked out by Barrett. The DIESEL chant rocks the Garden as Miz sits in on commentary. Big Show is in at #35, so Striker talks about how much taller Show is than the tallest player in the NHL. For once I agree with Cole when he says “WHO CARES???” We know Big Show is tall, and simply telling us he’s taller than a guy who is 6’9 doesn’t change anything.

Show and Diesel have a staredown in the aisle which is a FAR better (and actual) illustration of how big Show is. McIntyre and Sheamus get dropped by Show and there’s a chokeslam for Barrett. Show dumps Ziggler as Cena dumps Riley. Show shoves McIntyre out as Big Zeke is #36. He immediately throws out Show to a shockingly non-reaction. We have Barrett, Jackson, Kingston, Cena, Mysterio and Sheamus at the moment.

Santino is #37 and literally immediately breaks his record of 1 second in the Rumble. Jackson almost immediately decks him and knocks Santino to the mat and out to the floor which isn’t an elimination. Remember that. Jackson tries to put Cena out and Del Rio is #38. He’s still new at this point and hasn’t gotten on almost everyone’s nerves yet.

Striker tells us that Riley has been eliminated five minutes after it happens. Not only is he annoying but he’s a bad broadcaster on top of that. Alberto wisely takes forever to get into the ring as Miz’s voice sounds really hoarse. By long enough I mean Orton jumps him in the aisle at #39. There’s a quick RKO to Del Rio and one for Sheamus as well. A third hits Kofi and he’s gone. Sheamus is out too and it’s time for Cena vs. Orton. John points to the sign but Kane’s pyro goes off at #40 to complete the field and scare Cena to death.

So we’ve got Cena, Mysterio, Barrett, Jackson, Del Rio, Orton and Kane in the ring. I’ve seen far worse. Kane focuses on Orton and hits the side slam, only to be run over by Big Zeke. Jackson misses a charge though and goes out via a low bridge. Mysterio jumps into a chokeslam grip but Rey headscissors him out, only to be dumped by Barrett. Orton goes after Alberto while Cena beats up Barrett. Cena gets sent to the apron but gets back in via a shoulder to Wade’s ribs.

Things slow down again and NOW we get Cena vs. Orton. The fans barely react to it though so Barrett breaks it up. There’s an AA to Del Rio and here’s Riley again. He distracts Cena enough to have Miz run in and dump Cena to get us down to Orton, Barrett and Del Rio in the ring. There’s the backbreaker to Del Rio and Orton dumps Barrett, only to have Alberto sneak in on him to win the Rumble.

Rating: A. This was a VERY well done Rumble as they hit the three act structure and had a great balance of main event guys as well as new stars and legends. While it doesn’t seem like a big shock now, Del Rio had only been around for about four months. This would be like a member of the Shield winning the Rumble in 2013. Excellent Rumble though and one of the best ever.

Del Rio celebrates…….AND SANTINO CRAWLS BACK IN! He went UNDER remember so the match isn’t over yet. Del Rio doesn’t see him coming and Santino hits the Cobra! Cole: “OH MY GOD!!!” He goes for the elimination but Del Rio reverses and dumps Santino out to really win. I remember watching this and my heart STOPPED as soon as Santino got back in. The exact words I said: “THEY WOULDN’T! THEY COULDN’T! Oh they didn’t.” This makes the match even better as the fans LOST IT when he got back in.

Ricardo is literally on the floor screaming Del Rio to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. The worst and only bad match was the Divas and you have looks in that one so how can this be anything below great? 2011 was the start of the good period for WWE and they kicked it off with a bang with a great Rumble here. This is an excellent show and well worth checking out. Good stuff here.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: A-

Redo: A-

Miz vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: B

Eve Torres vs. Natalya vs. Layla vs. Michelle McCool

Original: D

Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: A

This is why I don’t see the point in redoing the newer shows: my taste hasn’t changed much.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/30/royal-rumble-2011-his-name-is-alberto-del-rio/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Now this one doesn’t have the ending you might expect.

We’ll start with the most recent as Paige brought up Charlotte’s deceased brother Reid to help set up their title match. Here’s the thing: this was short. Yeah it was a bit tasteless (though nothing compared to some of the stuff WWE has done before) but they didn’t bring up Reid by name or how he passed away etc. This was more tasteless than bad, but the match itself was even worse because they didn’t go anywhere with the hatred. It’s bad, but I think there’s worse stuff they could do.

Earlier in the year in a much bigger story we had Roman Reigns’ original push towards Wrestlemania XXXI. This is one where we all knew what we were going to get but again I didn’t hate it as much as some. They felt like they were trying to push someone new and we got some good matches out of it. The problems here were the feeling predictable and that Reigns hadn’t earned the title yet. However, what people overlook is that he didn’t win it just yet. They bailed out at the last second and that helps things so much more. The ending and the fact that it wasn’t that bad in the first place keeps this away from winning.

Also from late in the year, we had the latest Wyatt Family disaster with Bray kidnapping the Undertaker and Kane, stealing their souls (whatever that meant), taking their fireworks power, and then apparently just leaving them alone so that they could escape and win the match at Survivor Series. As bad as this was, it’s actually pretty low on the list of bad storytelling with the Wyatts and Bray in particular. This is just what happens to the Wyatts and until it changes, it’s hard to really call it horrible all over again.

Then James Storm threw Mickie James on train tracks. It’s stupid, it’s ridiculous, and at the end of the day it’s TNA. I almost feel bad about picking on them at this point and I have issues complaining about anything involving Mickie James. The biggest problem here was that Mickie was back way too soon with no problems, which makes it more stupid than bad.

At Summerslam, Jon Stewart cost John Cena the WWE World Title because he didn’t want Cena to tie Ric Flair’s record. I mean…..yeah. What else is there that I’m supposed to say on this one? You had a talk show host there as the celebrity and then he costs Cena the World Title? At Summerslam? REALLY? This was the best they could come up with?

However, last but not least, we have the love….whatever shape it was with Ziggler/Summer Rae/Rusev. You had Summer loving Rusev and maybe loving Ziggler while Lana jumped to Ziggler from Rusev and thought it was about 1984 with all the denim. This went on forever with the pairs teasing getting back together and the whole thing was a big soap opera, ultimately ending with Lana getting hurt and WWE deciding that EVERYONE followed TMZ and knew that Rusev and Lana were engaged in real life.

And I liked it. Yeah to this day I’m still not sure why, but I really don’t get the hatred for this storyline. I know it’s stupid and I know the story really didn’t make sense and I know the ending was HORRIBLE because WWE pulled the plug on the whole thing but I really didn’t mind it. This gave these people something to do and Summer telling Rusev that they weren’t getting married until he won a title was a good idea. That and it got Lana into some different looks and started to expand her character until the injury derailed the whole thing. I know it’s hated, but I really didn’t mind this story nearly as much as some people did.

For me, the worst was Jon Stewart. The celebrity stuff is stupid in the first place, but to have it be at Summerslam for the World Title and having it wind up as ANOTHER way to remind us how amazing Ric Flair is and how his record is just so sacred was too much for me. I love Jon Stewart and it was cool having him around, but this was just so stupid and such a lame way to keep the title on Rollins.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: January 7, 2016
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler

This is a big night as Smackdown is now on the USA Network after sixteen and a half years bouncing around various other networks. Therefore tonight is going to be a major show with two title matches and an appearance from the now injured John Cena. We’re now in full build towards the Royal Rumble where Roman Reigns will be defending the WWE World Title against 29 other men. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap Reigns defending the title against Sheamus and then Vince announcing his Rumble title defense. Thankfully this was a minute long instead of four times as much.

Opening sequence.

New commentator Mauro Ranallo is welcomed to the team.

Here’s John Cena for a chat. He hypes up the two title matches tonight and says the only thing missing is the USA Champion. It’s a new year and a new network so let’s try a fresh start tonight. Cena does a pretty good Ricardo Rodriguez introduction for Alberto and here’s the champ. However, Alberto is too smart to fall for what Cena is trying. There’s no way that Juan is getting his title shot tonight.

That’s not what Cena is going for though. The fans are fired up to see Alberto Del Rio tonight and they’re clearly wanting to see a US Title match tonight right? Fans: “SI! SI! SI!” Alberto will fight anyone not named John Cena, though the title doesn’t seem to be on the line. Cena has the perfect choice.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto

Non-title. Kalisto quickly sends him out to the floor and Cena is right there doing the Lucha Dragons dance. Back in and Kalisto handsprings into a kick to the head. The threat of the Salida Del Sol sends Alberto outside though and we take an early break. We come back with Del Rio getting two off a belly to back suplex. Del Rio gets in a kick to the head of his own as the fans chant something in Spanish.

Kalisto is put in the Tree of Woe for some kicks to the ribs. Thankfully it’s not for that top rope double stomps just yet though as Alberto misses a charge into the post, allowing Kalisto to speed things up again. The hurricanrana driver is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two and the frustration is starting to set in. A good looking DDT puts Kalisto on the floor and Alberto taunts Cena. Back in and Del Rio loads up the cross armbreaker, only to have Kalisto grab a quick hurricanrana for the pin at 9:15.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with Kalisto’s unlikely rocket push continuing. I don’t think it’s going to lead anywhere but with all the injuries, pushing someone as a new underdog star isn’t going to hurt anything. Cena endorsing Kalisto could be a good sign, though none of this matters if Kalisto loses the title rematch.

Becky Lynch says she and Charlotte are no longer friends. Tonight she’s going to take the title and not be friendly about it at all.

It’s time for MizTV with Miz talking about the Royal Rumble for a few seconds before New Day cuts him off. After Big E. makes it clear that they are NOT a bunch of rootie tooties, Woods says Jericho stole the light up jacket from him in the old NXT days. Cue Dolph Ziggler for no apparent reason but Goldust cuts him off before we can get to the witty insults. Goldust is willing to give Miz and company some golden globes so here’s Neville to interrupt as well.

Neville offers to teach Miz his accent and whatever else he wants as long as Miz cancels this horrible show. Miz is offended but R-Truth cuts him off this time. Truth tries to answer Del Rio’s US Open Challenge so Miz has to tell him there’s no such thing. Truth: “…..all right. What were you all here talking about?” Instead, Truth tries to enter the Royal Rumble but isn’t sure he can afford the entry fee. Miz offers him a dollar to buy a clue so Truth hits him with the mic, meaning it’s time for an eight man tag.

Miz/New Day vs. Neville/Goldust/R-Truth/Dolph Ziggler

This is joined in progress with Truth hip thrusting at Miz and bringing in Goldust. Make that Ziggler with a dropkick to Kofi before it’s time to start in on the arm. Neville does some hip gyrating and drops a standing shooting star for two. Some right hands in the corner have Kofi in even more trouble until Woods finally pulls Neville off the ropes to give his team a breather.

Back from a break with Neville caught in the Unicorn Stampede (thank you Ranallo for finally using the proper term). Woods gives us some music and New Day is astounded by Miz’s dancing. We hit the chinlock from Woods for a bit before Neville backdrops him over the corner, leaving Woods on the floor with some very glossy eyes. The hot tag brings in Ziggler to clean house with Ranallo bringing up the Social Outcasts from Monday. Everything breaks down and Miz winds up surrounded, setting up a Ziggler superkick for the pin at 11:16.

Rating: C-. It’s not a good sign when some champions lose to a thrown together team of low level jobbers and Ziggler but I’m assuming this is how they make up for Ziggler losing on Monday. You know because Dolph Ziggler is the kind of person who needs to get his head back.

Post match Ziggler beats up his teammates and throws Goldust to the floor because it’s every man for himself. Not a heel turn but the fans didn’t seem thrilled.

The Flairs say Charlotte is ready.

Divas Title: Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Becky is challenging. After some big match intros, Charlotte takes her down to start as Lawler is trying to call Ranallo M.R. An early armbar attempt doesn’t work for Becky so she tries some rollups for two each. Charlotte has to spin out of a hammerlock but a springboard kick to the chest puts the champ on the floor. Becky goes after her but Ric gets in the way, allowing Charlotte to kick her in the face to take over. Charlotte throws her with some suplexes but stops to pose as we take a break.

Back with Becky caught in a figure four choke before Charlotte flips her over a few times. Lynch actually gets underneath her to drop Charlotte face first into the buckle for the break and it’s time for the clotheslines. You have to have clotheslines. Charlotte comes back with a neckbreaker out of the corner for some near falls but Becky small packages her to break up the Figure Eight. There’s the Disarm-Her but Flair puts Charlotte’s foot on the ropes right before Charlotte taps. Becky is furious, allowing Charlotte to grab a rollup with her feet on the ropes for the pin at 14:12.

Rating: B-. Good match but the Ric Flair stuff is getting annoying. I mean, we get it already. He’s there and he’s going to help his daughter cheat. It got old in a hurry with HHH and it’s already gotten annoying here with Charlotte. I’m not sure where they go now for a challenger but maybe it’s finally time for Sasha.

We look at Owens brawling with Ambrose on Monday.

Owens gives Renee one minute of his time and says he’s killed quite a few roaches in his time. That means Ambrose isn’t going to be any different.

Recap of Monday’s main event and Vince making Reigns defend the title in the Royal Rumble.

After Raw went off the air Monday, Reigns said he’s ready to fight all at the Rumble.

Ambrose says Owens is the prize fighter but the prize is on Dean’s shoulder. Let’s fight.

Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is challenging. They shove each other around to start and the threat of Dirty Deeds sends Owens out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kevin ripping off some chops but Dean tells him to bring it. Ambrose grabs a headlock for a bit before Owens hits him in the face. The rebound lariat is broken up as Kevin shoves him to the floor, only to be sent hard into the barricade.

Dean hits a running clothesline off the apron but he gets caught in a hanging DDT on the way back in. We take another break and come back with Owens holding a chinlock. The backsplash misses and Dean gets two off a quick bulldog. A tornado DDT doesn’t work and Owens sends into the corner off a German suplex. Dean is ready for the Cannonball though and gets two off another tornado DDT.

Owens crotches him on top though and now the Cannonball gets two. The superkick sets up the rebound lariat to give Dean two more of his own. Ambrose briefly wins a slugout until Kevin drops him with a clothesline, only to be sent out the floor. Dean sends him over the table and then into the crowd for a double countout at 17:33.

Rating: B-. This was more long than good and pretty clearly just a way to set up a gimmick rematch at the Rumble. That’s the better option though as both guys have earned a match on a bigger stage. You can almost guarantee they’ll both get a run in the Rumble itself as well so this was really just a preview.

They fight up to the stage and then to the technical area with Dean driving them both through a pile of tables to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Good debut on USA here but it was hardly a classic. This felt like a big episode of Smackdown with little storyline advancement but some good wrestling. I’d be fine if this is the kind of show we got week to week but the last several years would suggest that there’s no reason to believe that’s happening. Ranallo was very different than most WWE announcers as he has a much deeper voice and treats things more seriously, though he’s nothing that’s going to change the way I feel watching the show. It’s a good debut, but as is always the case, I have no reason to believe it’s going to stay this way.

Results

Kalisto b. Alberto Del Rio – Hurricanrana

Dolph Ziggler/R-Truth/Goldust/Neville b. New Day/Miz – Superkick to Miz

Charlotte b. Becky Lynch – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens went to a double countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 4, 2016
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s the first Raw of the year and we’re starting with a bang. Tonight we’re seeing the rematch between Roman Reigns and Sheamus for Roman’s WWE World Title with Vince McMahon as the guest referee. It’s also time to keep going towards the Royal Rumble as we’ve got less than three weeks to go. Let’s get to it.

We open with another long recap of Reigns vs. Vince to set up tonight’s title defense.

Here’s Stephanie to get things going but Roman Reigns cuts her off on the way to the ring. Reigns laughs off Stephanie’s annoyance and calls Vince out. Vince isn’t here yet and Stephanie goes into her degrading voice about how this isn’t Roman’s night. Roman says that title is his life and his family because without it he can’t provide for his wife and daughter.

This amuses Stephanie even more as she rips on the fans for having so much false hope, just like Reigns. Stephanie says you can’t keep a good billionaire down and promises to destroy Roman tonight. After he loses the title, she’s going to work him all around the country until he drops. Then the fans are going to forget about him and move on, just like they did with Roman’s father Sika. Not really Steph, not really. Roman threatens to send Vince to the hospital and Stephanie finally shuts up.

We look back at Kevin Owens’ path of rage (and his loss) from last week.

Brock Lesnar is back next week.

Neville vs. Kevin Owens

Ambrose is on commentary. Neville has taped up ribs and quickly sends Kevin outside for a flip dive. Owens gets knocked across the ring and out to the floor on the outside, setting up a shooting star from the top. Back in and Owens gets smart by kicking Neville in the ribs and plants him with a hanging DDT out of the corner. Neville gets dumped out to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Neville still on the floor and missing his rib tape. He dives back in to beat the count at nine but Owens sends him back outside and hard into the barricade. Neville kicks him in the face to get a breather and busts out a sweet 450 off the apron. They head back in with Neville going up top, only to get crotched down for a Cannonball. The Pop Up Powerbomb ends Neville at 9:45.

Rating: B. I had a lot of fun with this thing as they were just beating the tar out of each other for the entire time they were out there. This was exactly what they needed to do last week with Neville looking awesome (including some fresh stuff) but Owens looking like a killer at the same time. Really well done here.

Post match Owens goes after Neville again but Ambrose dives on him to make the save. Owens loads up the announcers’ table again but Dean takes over and drives him through the table with an elbow drop. Dean tells Owens that all he has to do is ask for a shot.

Vince arrives and finds it ironic that last week he was on the wrong side of the law but tonight he is the law.

Stardust vs. Titus O’Neil

So this is still a thing. Titus chops him HARD in the corner to start until the Disaster kick puts him down. Stardust slowly stomps away in the corner as well and we hit the chinlock. The fans start chanting CODY to freak Stardust out, allowing Titus to come back with a big clothesline. A big boot in the corner and the Clash of the Titus puts Stardust away at 4:26.

Rating: D. Pretty lame match but when is the last time you saw a random midcard match with no interference and a clean winner? I like what I see with Titus and he could be fine as a midcard act if you give him more of a character aside from doing a dog bark. Nothing to see here, other than the total collapse of Stardust.

Becky Lynch is getting ready when Charlotte comes up. Apparently Charlotte isn’t happy that they’re having a match tonight but they pinky shake anyway. Ric Flair comes in and WOO’s.

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Non-title. Becky gets sent into the corner to start but grabs some armdrags to frustrate Charlotte. They hit the ropes with Becky nipping up and Charlotte cartwheeling into a standoff. Charlotte flips over in the corner but dives through the ropes into a rollup for two. Becky throws her down again but helps Charlotte up, only to take a HARD chop. Charlotte drops some knees until we take a break.

Back with Charlotte doing her figure four neck flips, which she really should bring back. Becky dives out of the corner but gets caught in midair, only to spin around into a sleeper. That earns her a backwards drop onto the mat for the break but Becky makes her comeback with clotheslines and a leg lariat. There’s a t-bone suplex for two on the champ but Ric grabs Becky’s leg. It doesn’t work this time as Becky rolls her up and grabs the trunks for the pin at 8:50.

Rating: C+. Good match here that felt more like an NXT match than a WWE match. The ending really didn’t need the trunks involved but at least Becky got a big win to likely set up the title match at the Rumble. I could use less Ric in this whole thing but at least they’re getting somewhere with an actual title feud.

Post match Charlotte goes full heel (for real this time) and destroys Becky while Ric struts.

Sheamus comes in to see Vince, who implies he’ll call it down the line. May the luck of the Irish be with you.

Ryback vs. Big Show

Ryback is officially in the Rumble. Show chops him into the corner to start but misses a charge, allowing Ryback to hit a quick clothesline. Ryback calls to finish it thirty seconds in, only to walk into a chokeslam. Show throws Ryback over the top….and we’ve got Wyatts. They surround Ryback so he goes after Harper, only to get quadruple teamed. That’s not very nice of Ryback. They might have wanted to sell him some Girl Scout Cookies. We’ll say the match ended at about 1:15.

Strowman chokes Ryback out as Big Show just watches. Now the Wyatts circle the ring and go after the giant. Show knocks Bray, Harper and Rowan down but spends too much time staring at Strowman, allowing the swarm to take him down. Bray says they are the four horsemen of the apocalypse and everyone will fall. The other three do an upside down Horsemen gesture.

Alberto Del Rio/Rusev vs. Usos

Hokey smoke the Usos are in different color gear. I could get used to this, but it means I can’t just pick a random name and say they’re starting. Jimmy and Del Rio get things going with Alberto eating an early clothesline. Rusev gets double clotheslined but the heels take over on Jey with Rusev driving him into the corner. A wicked overhead belly to belly sends Jey flying and we take a break.

Back with Jey trying a comeback on Rusev but missing an enziguri. Del Rio kicks him hard in the back and it’s off to Rusev for a chinlock. Jey finally fights up with a Samoan drop and makes the tag off to Jimmy as things speed up. A kick to the face gets two and there’s an enziguri to stagger Del Rio even more.

Jimmy goes up but gets crotched down but the top rope double stomp misses (thank goodness). The superkick and Superfly splash get a VERY close two on Del Rio with Rusev diving in for the save at the last second. Jey dives through the ropes to take Rusev out but lands on a raised boot. Back in and Del Rio kicks Jey in the head to tie him in the ropes, setting up the top rope double stomp for the pin at 13:25.

Rating: B-. Fun match here but I’m getting a bit bored with the fairly long midcard tag match of the week. They’re entertaining and the time could have been used for far worse things, but these things are getting harder to get hyped for. It doesn’t help that these two aren’t the most interesting teams in the world, though the action was good. Quality, but not exactly entertaining here.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Heath Slater

Ziggler is officially in the Rumble. Slater comes out with Adam Rose, Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas, all of whom have apparently been tweeting about change all day. Ziggler gets some early rollups and small packages for two each, followed by that dropkick of his. Slater chokes a bit and throws Ziggler down by the hair. That goes nowhere and Ziggler tries a superkick but has to go after Rose. Slater grabs a rollup and gets the big upset at 4:41.

Rating: D. Sure why not. Ziggler is going to be in the exact same place no matter what he does and a loss to Heath Slater isn’t going to change a thing for him. It’s not like these guys are doing anything else so why not throw them together into a nothing midcard stable. I doubt it lasts past the Rumble but it’s better than having them on the roster for no apparent reason.

Post match Slater says he’s found some friends. Rose gets way too excited about the four of them being flowers. Axel goes on about the chains being off and Dallas says it’s all about getting back up. Slater caps it off by saying they’re trending worldwide despite being social outcasts. That sounds like the team name.

Ambrose is defending the Intercontinental Title against Owens on Smackdown. On the same show, Lynch will be challenging for the Divas Title.

Vince comes in to see Reigns and tells him not to cheat tonight. Reigns seems uneasy.

Here’s New Day for a chat. Big E. promises to make this the greatest year of all time and they’ll start by beating up the Dudley Boyz and Kalisto like they were Mike Tyson falling off a hoverboard. We get a reenactment of Tyson falling and now it’s time for a countdown. The ten count gets down to three and BREAK DOWN THE WALLS!

Yes Chris Jericho is back and declares himself as the party host for the night. He’s here to save the WWE one more time, sixteen years after he debuted. Woods isn’t pleased because the New Day has already saved this company through the power of positivity. Now it’s time for Jericho to not be impressed because the unicorn horns are stupid.

Jericho says he’s back to bring some life to this place and he’s sorry that we had to sit through five minutes of Green Day and rootie tootie. Big E.: “WHO ARE YOU CALLING ROOTIE TOOTIE?????” The fans get in on the chant until Jericho announces his entrance in the Royal Rumble. The Y2J problem is back and the WWE will never EVER be the same again.

Dudley Boyz/Kalisto vs. New Day

Woods and Kalisto start but Xavier wants Bubba. That’s fine with Bubba and Woods actually stays in the ring. A chop has no effect on Bubba and it’s time for a ROOTIE TOOTIE chant. It’s off to Kofi who is immediately caught in a very delayed vertical suplex. JBL: “Put the unicorn down.” D-Von comes in and sends everyone to the floor, allowing Bubba to throw Kalisto out on top of everybody.

Back from a break with Bubba in trouble but avoiding a splash in the corner. That allows a tag off to Kalisto but it’s quickly time for the Unicorn Stampede. Woods slaps on a chinlock and the Warrior splash gives Big E. a near fall. Kalisto avoids another charge and makes the tag off to D-Von as everything breaks down. Bubba cleans house and Kalisto is driven into the barricade. A quick save keeps Kofi out of What’s Up and the Midnight Hour puts D-Von away at 16:40.

Rating: C+. Another fun match here and I’m glad it was D-Von taking the fall here. Kalisto is getting a chance to look like a big deal and it would have really been a waste to have him lose here. It’s also cool to see New Day win a six man for a change as they lose these things way more often than they should. Good stuff here.

Here’s the same recap that opened the show. Dude cut that out. You can do it in about a fourth of the time. Stop eating up so much of the show.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Sheamus

Reigns is defending and Vince is guest referee. Sheamus jumps him to start and gets a pretty quick two count. A hard Irish (of course) whip gets two for Sheamus but Reigns comes back with the corner clotheslines. Another clothesline puts both guys on the floor for no count as Vince doesn’t want Sheamus winning the match without the title. Sheamus gets in a shot with the steps but Vince wasn’t paying attention as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus getting two off the Regal roll but Reigns comes back with his array of clotheslines. The Samoan drop gets a VERY delayed two and the fans boo Vince out of the building. White Noise is countered into a sitout powerbomb for another two but Vince has something in his eye. Vince: “I NEED SOME EYEDROPS!”

Now it’s a Superman punch to knock Sheamus silly but Vince just won’t count. Reigns finally Superman punches Vince and spears Sheamus before calling for another referee. With nothing else to do, Reigns throws Sheamus outside and over the announcers’ table. Vince gets up so Reigns throws him back down and yells a lot.

Frustration gets the better of Roman and he grabs Vince with the fans chanting for the table. Cue a power walking Stephanie to get on the apron so Reigns throws Vince into the ropes, bringing Stephanie inside. She bails to the floor as Reigns loads up a spear to Vince but eats a Brogue kick. A second one knocks Reigns out but Vince is slow to count (looked like a missed cue). Crooked referee Scott Armstrong comes in to count two. Reigns blocks another Brogue with a Superman punch and spears Sheamus down to retain at 18:20.

Rating: C+. Well it told a good story and Vince continues to be one of the best performers in the world. They actually had me believing they might change the title here which says a lot given that we’re less than three weeks away from the Rumble and it was Sheamus. Solid stuff here and they’re on a roll with the storytelling all over again.

Post match Vince says Reigns is going to defend the WWE World Title again at the Royal Rumble. Reigns keeps saying one vs. all so that’s exactly what he’s going to get. At the Royal Rumble, Reigns will defend his title against twenty nine other men in the Royal Rumble match.

Overall Rating: B-. This was another good show and you can see the effort involved. They’ve reached the point where they have to start putting in some effort for the Rumble and ensuing Wrestlemania season and it’s already starting to pay off. The shows aren’t great or anything but they’re so far ahead of what they were doing just a month ago. Good show here and hopefully a sign of a hot Rumble and Wrestlemania build.

Results

Kevin Owens b. Neville – Pop Up Powerbomb

Titus O’Neil b. Stardust – Clash of the Titus

Becky Lynch b. Charlotte – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Ryback b. Big Show via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered

Alberto Del Rio/Rusev b. Usos – Top rope double stomp to Jey

Heath Slater b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup

New Day b. Dudley Boyz/Kalisto – Midnight Hour to D-Von

Roman Reigns b. Sheamus – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: December 31, 2015
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Booker T., Jerry Lawler

We’ll wrap up the year here with a Smackdown that not a lot of people are going to watch because most people aren’t at home from 8-10pm on New Year’s Eve. The big story coming out of Monday continues to be Vince vs. Roman with Reigns defending his WWE World Title against Sheamus this coming Monday. Therefore, I think you know what to expect here tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long and detailed recap of Monday’s events with Vince being arrested, the League of Nations costing John Cena the US Title and Vince returning to announce next Monday’s World Title match.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a festive New Day to open things up. It’s always a new day but tomorrow is New Year’s Day. Therefore their new year’s resolution is……nothing, as they’re already perfect. On top of that, they’re not the ones who didn’t vote for New Day for Tag Team of the Year. Instead, they have a list of resolutions for the fans. First up, everyone needs to wear glasses and hearing aids so they can see and hear all this greatness. Second, everyone is required to keep a New Day journal. Finally, every day, make sure to proclaim that NEW DAY ROCKS!

This brings out the Lucha Dragons who say the Slammys are for the people. I thought they were for the best in WWE but that’s what I get for listening to Michael Cole. The Dragons want a match right here and right now but Cara’s arm is in a sling. Therefore, they have some backup for Kalisto.

New Day vs. Kalisto/Dudley Boyz

We start this up after a break, which included Ryback’s new year’s resolution (give more to local charities and get more involved). Woods and D-Von get things going with Xavier being thrown into the corner like he’s nothing. Off to a fired up Bubba to crank on the arm and mess with Woods’ hair. For some reason Booker equates this to a Jedi mind trick as Big E. comes in to run Bubba over.

Kofi tries to charge at Bubba in the corner but gets a little Flip Flop and Fly. That means it’s time for Kalisto to play D-Von on What’s Up, only to have Big E. take him to the floor for a beating. It’s the Unicorn Stampede with Woods accompanying on trombone, followed by a big clothesline from Big E. to take us to a break.

Back with Woods putting Kalisto in a chinlock and Big E. getting two off a Warrior Splash. Kalisto avoids a charge though and makes the hot tag to Bubba as house is cleaned. The reverse 3D drops Woods like that ball in Times Square (Lawler gets in a good line like that every now and then). Kalisto DDTs Woods and a springboard Salida Del Sol puts Kofi away at 12:41.

Rating: C. Nice six man here with everyone looking good. They’re clearly setting Kalisto up as something important and that Salida Del Sol can hit from almost anywhere, making it even more deadly than most finishers. On top of that though, Bubba was really entertaining me here as he did not stop on the apron. So many people just stand there and wait for a tag but Bubba is constantly talking or moving or trying to get the crowd into the match. That’s always appreciated and Bubba is one of the best at it.

We look at John Cena’s week, which included hosting the Today Show and receiving a charity award.

Becky Lynch wishes us a happy new year.

Goldust vs. Tyler Breeze

Goldust snaps off some armdrags to start as Booker reminisces about their partnership. Breeze stops a charge in the corner by raising a boot and it’s time to start on Goldust’s arm. A quick spinebuster gets Goldust out of trouble and the snap powerslam gets two. Tyler slams the arm into the post though and a rollup with feet on the ropes pins Goldust at 3:25.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here though it’s always nice to see Breeze get a win, even if it’s meaningless like this one. Goldust’s latest comeback hasn’t meant anything, which is kind of a shame after the amazing resurgence he had over the last year or two. This was a filler match though and there isn’t much else you can say about something like that.

Post match Summer and Tyler announce that they’re splitting up for New Year’s, though it seems amicable. That’s good for Breeze as Summer is kind of the kiss of death for anyone she’s paired with. We do however get one last gorgeous picture for the road.

Bo Dallas finds Curtis Axel and talks about how bad Axel’s 2015 has been. Axel says he’s going to win the Royal Rumble so he won’t be eliminated two years straight. Dallas keeps walking and signs some random blonde’s hand. A little more walking finds Dolph Ziggler, who tells Bo to stop dressing like the New Year’s Baby. This sets up a match for later, complete with Ziggler doing a nearly creepy Dallas impression.

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Harper/Strowman here with only Rowan accompanying. Jey gets punched in the face to start but comes back with an uppercut to Harper. Jimmy comes in, only to have a run across the ring stopped by a Braun stare. It’s off to Strowman who chokes Jimmy in the corner and throws him around like a giant throws around a villager. Harper’s catapult into the bottom rope gets two and it’s off to a leg lock of all things.

Back to Strowman for a choke with his knee before we hit the nerve hold. It’s back to Harper for a chinlock until Jimmy finally gets in an enziguri. Strowman breaks up the tag but charges into the post, allowing the hot tag to Jey. A quick Umaga attack gets two on Harper and two superkicks stagger Strowman, only to have the standing choke knock Jey out at 6:28.

Rating: D+. This was a squash with a fast paced ending, which really isn’t what you expect to see happen to the Usos. I mean, in theory the Usos are next in line for New Day and they lose here in dominant fashion? If nothing else it makes me wonder how the Wyatts never won the Tag Team Titles. You would think it would be academic no?

John Cena returns to Smackdown next week.

Bo Dallas vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler gets two off an early rollup but Bo hits a quick clothesline, requiring a lap around the ring. Back in and Dolph misses a Stinger splash so we hit a chinlock. A really hard elbow to the face gets two for Bo and we’re right back to the chinlockery. Bo stops to pose and takes another lap, only to eat a superkick to give Dolph the pin at 4:23.

Rating: D. Another short match that didn’t go anywhere here. Dallas is fine for a low level jobber like this but it’s clear that he’s only on this show because they’re running split rosters again here. Ziggler is always a good choice to get a reaction from the fans and given that this is a nothing show, this was fine. Not a good match but a fine inclusion.

New Day’s new year’s resolution is to make sure that the patriarch becomes World Champion. I’m not sure who they mean there.

Here’s the same long recap that opened the show.

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus/Kevin Owens

Reigns and Sheamus get things going as the announcers talk about Vince being arrested on Monday. Sheamus uppercuts Roman around and elbows out of a Samoan drop. A clothesline puts Sheamus on the floor and Dean takes him down with a suicide dive. It’s off to Owens to pound on Dean, which only makes me think of Neville pinning him in 24 seconds on Monday. Dirty Deeds is broken up and Owens bails to the floor, only to have Dean send him into the announcers’ table. Owens drives Dean back first into the apron and we take a break.

Back with Kevin stomping on Dean’s ribs and we hit the chinlock. Sheamus comes back in for some clubbing forearms (yes I said clubbing forearms) and a reverse chinlock. Sheamus does the forearms to the chest but alternates some forearms to the back in a new twist. It’s back to Owens but Dean hits a quick rebound lariat, setting up the hot tag to Reigns. Roman starts cleaning house with the clotheslines and a Samoan drop but Owens breaks up the Superman punch. The second attempt connects with Sheamus’ jaw but this time Owens crotches Reigns against the post for the DQ at 11:14.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere as a good chunk was spent either in chinlocks or in the commercial. There’s nothing wrong with having two title feuds thrown into one match but you need more than eight minutes televised and a pretty lame disqualification finish.

Sheamus and Owens load up the announcers’ table but Reigns punches and spears his way out so the good guys can stand tall to end the year.

Overall Rating: D. It was clear that they weren’t trying here and the lack of half the roster being there hurt things even more. That being said, this is a show that didn’t need to exist and almost no one is going to watch it so it’s not like this really makes a difference. Monday is the big deal so there was no real need to do anything here. Lame show but at least it felt quick.

Results

Dudley Boyz/Kalisto b. New Day – Springboard Salida Del Sol to Kingston

Tyler Breeze b. Goldust – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Wyatt Family b. Usos – Standing choke to Jey

Dolph Ziggler b. Bo Dallas – Superkick

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Sheamus/Kevin Owens via DQ when Owens sent Reigns into the post

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: December 22, 2015
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Jerry Lawler

This is the special live show that follows the age of rule of “don’t have a show on Christmas Eve”. It’s also a stacked show as WWE tries to get some more attention on Smackdown before the move to the live broadcast just after the new year. Therefore we have two title matches as Dean Ambrose and the New Day defend their titles. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, this time with Christmas trees at the beginning.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Lucha Dragons

The Dragons are challenging. Before the match, New Day plugs their new Christmas album, featuring songs such as Rudolph the Red Nosed Unicorn and Kofi the Snowman. Woods is the odd man out here as Cara dropkicks Kofi to start. It’s quickly off to Kalisto for the monkey flip 450 but he gets Big E. for his luck. E. tries a slam but gets kneed in the face, followed by a staggering dropkick. Cara’s missile dropkick gets two but Kofi comes in with a hurricanrana. That’s not really a heel move but then again the New Day aren’t really heels. A baseball slide puts Kofi down and it’s time for tromboning and a break.

Back with Big E. missing a splash and it’s the hot tag to Kalisto as everything picks up. Woods finally trips him up to take over again, allowing Big E. to drive Kalisto HARD into the barricade. That was one of the hardest looking crashes I’ve ever seen. It’s time for the Unicorn Stampede bug Kalisto flips out of a belly to belly and makes the hot tag. Everything speeds up again and the Dragons score with a double suicide dive. Back in and Cara kicks E. in the head, setting up Salida Del Sol. Kofi breaks up the Swanton though and Cara moonsaults into the Big Ending to retain the titles at 12:37.

Rating: C+. This was fine for what it needed to be and lets New Day look good before their big showdown with the Usos. The Dragons were a good choice for a quick challenge and the match worked well enough. I was hoping they would push Kalisto as something on his own after the performance in the tournament and the big Salida Del Sol but it’s just more false hope.

Santino puts the star on his tree but someone (who looked like Stardust) steals it.

Dolph Ziggler, Charlotte, Tyler Breeze and Roman Reigns wish us a Merry Christmas.

Ambrose says he’s sore from the last week but says he’s going to hit Ziggler and Owens with whatever it takes to retain Intercontinental Champion.

Ryback/Kane/Dudley Boyz vs. Wyatt Family

Ryback and Rowan get things going but it’s quickly off to Bubba for a shoulder and we take a quick break. Back with Harper putting Bubba in a chinlock to slow things down even more. It’s off to Strowman who wants Kane, which is exactly what he gets. The smaller monster is easily pounded down and it’s off to Wyatt for some shots in the corner. Kane comes back with a quick faceplant on Harper before bringing in Ryback. The middle rope dropkick puts Harper down but he grabs a Michinoku Driver as we go to our second break.

Back with Rowan holding Ryback in a head vice until a spinebuster gives him a breather. Another double tag brings in D-Von and Bray with the Dudley taking over. The top rope headbutt gets two on Bray and everything breaks down. Rowan clotheslines Ryback over the barricade and the reverse 3D gets two more on Wyatt. There’s a superkick to D-Von and Sister Abigail ends Bubba at 16:08.

Rating: C. This is the kind of match the Wyatts need to win. They’re slowly being built back up but at some point they have to actually do something. It’s also amazing how much more I can tolerate these things with fewer ancient ECW guys in there and people like Ryback having something to do instead. Not a great or even good match but it did its job.

Santino’s Christmas party is a disaster as everything has been wrecked. This brings in Stardust and the Ascension to take credit for destroying everything. Neville, in a hilarious elf hat, comes in to stand up for Christmas. Titus, in the same hat, appears and says he’ll put a boot down Ascension’s chimney. A tag match is made for later.

Rusev/Alberto Del Rio vs. Usos

Jey chops Rusev to start but gets dragged into the corner as the League starts taking turns on him. Del Rio hits a top rope right hand and Rusev rakes a boot over the face. Jey gets over for the tag and Jimmy comes in for two off a double flapjack. Everything breaks down and Jey’s dive over the top nails Alberto. Jimmy does the same to Rusev but they’re both dropped with kicks as we take a break.

Back with everything breaking down and Jimmy being sent into the steps. Del Rio snaps Jey’s throat across the rope but gets caught on top. A superplex is broken up and it’s time for the top rope double stomp. Thankfully Jey realizes that he can move to break it up, only to have a Rusev distraction allow Rusev to knock him back into place. The stomp is good for the pin at 10:30.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one quite as much as the Usos win an award, beat the champions last night and then lose here. As usual it’s the same story of bad booking going in the same circles over and over. I’m getting tired of trying to care about a team and then having them lose all over again. What does the win over New Day last night mean now? Watchable match but more bad booking.

Post match the League loads up the Brogue Kick on Jimmy but Reigns makes the save.

Dean Ambrose, Santino Marella, Becky Lynch and New Day wish us a Merry Christmas.

Titus O’Neil/Neville vs. Ascension

Santino introduces Neville and Titus (“My favorite Irishman!”) and it’s Neville and Konor starting things off. Neville is in some early trouble thanks to the power game so it’s off to Viktor. That doesn’t go very well as the hot tag brings in Titus. Viktor takes him down as well and everyone surrounds Santino on the floor. The Cobra is loaded up but Santino just wipes himself off with it, allowing Neville to dive onto all three. Back in and a big boot sets up the Red Arrow to Viktor for the pin at 3:09.

Rating: D+. Nothing match here and the saving Christmas story was just tacked on. I mean, this is no Mark Henry vs. Damien Sandow or JBL Claus vs. Mick Claus but then again this isn’t much of a show anyway. Neville getting the pin is a good thing though after they gave him an award last night and then had him lose.

We recap Ziggler vs. Owens vs. Ambrose.

Dolph says he’s been going about this the wrong way but tonight he’s going to make 2016 the year of Dolph Ziggler.

Charlotte vs. Brie Bella

Non-title with Becky Lynch on commentary. Charlotte, in a Mrs. Claus skirt, kicks away to start as the fans want Becky. A Flair knee drop misses and Becky can’t answer if she’d rather have friends or win the Divas Title. Charlotte ducks the big YES kick and hits a quick spear. Cue Team BAD as a snowman, a reindeer and…..I’m not sure what Tamina is supposed to be. They throw eggnog on Becky and beat her down but Charlotte puts Brie in the Figure Eight for the win at 3:39.

Rating: D. Angle advancement here as we need Brie on TV to set up the new season of Total Divas. I mean, I hear there’s going to be Brie vs. Nikki drama this time. Becky vs. Charlotte should be good, much like when we FINALLY get rid of Team Bad as the female New Day, minus any of the actual comedy.

Becky is annoyed at Charlotte post match.

Owens promises to turn Smackdown into the Kevin Owens Show and says Renee Young looks ridiculous.

Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens

Ambrose is defending so of course he comes out first. Owens is quickly sent outside but he pulls Dolph outside. Dean breaks up a powerbomb attempt on the floor so Owens backsplashes both guys as we take a break. Back with everyone heading up the ramp and Owens throws Ziggler through the Christmas presents. Ziggler breaks up a powerbomb to Ambrose and they throw Owens off the stage through more trees.

That leaves Ziggler and Ambrose to fight on the stage with empty boxes. They head back to the ring with Ziggler loading up a superplex, only to have Owens runs back in for the save. Owens superkicks Ziggler and Dean clotheslines Kevin to put all three down. Dean goes up top but Dolph runs up the corner for a super facebuster. Ziggler is sent into the steps to give Owens two on Ambrose.

Dolph runs back in for a sleeper but gets thrown to the floor, leaving Owens to suplex Dean onto his head for two. As the referee makes sure Dean can remember what planet he’s on, Owens is smart enough to go beat on Ziggler to give the crowd something to watch. Dean gets back up and tries Dirty Deeds on Owens but Ziggler comes in to add the Zig Zag to Ambrose, putting all three down again. Ziggler covers Dean for two and superkicks Owens but walks into Dirty Deeds to retain Dean’s title at 13:25.

Rating: B-. Good, action packed match here that was a few miles ahead of everything else on the show with all three guys working hard to get the match over. Again they made sure to keep Owens from getting pinned which is the exactly right idea to keep the feud going. Ziggler is the kind of guy who can lose all the time and still be fine but Owens might be going somewhere big. Good stuff here and almost enough to save the show.

Owens destroys the Christmas trees as Ambrose celebrates to take us out.

Overall Rating: C. Totally skippable show here with really nothing major happening. The two title matches were nice but you can tell they’re saving their big stuff for the regular premiere on USA. It doesn’t help that this is a week they basically take off for the holidays because we get seven hours of mostly lame WWE in three days. This was nothing to see though and a really standard episode of Smackdown: watchable wrestling that meant absolutely nothing.

Results

New Day b. Lucha Dragons – Big Ending to Cara

Wyatt Family b. Dudley Boyz/Ryback/Kane – Sister Abigail to Bubba

Rusev/Alberto Del Rio b. Usos – Top rope double stomp to Jey

Titus O’Neil/Neville b. Ascension – Red Arrow to Viktor

Charlotte b. Brie Bella – Figure Eight

Dean Ambrose b. Kevin Owens and Dolph Ziggler – Dirty Deeds to Ziggler

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