One Night Stand 2006
Date: June 11, 2006
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Attendance: 2,460
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

I don’t think I’ve ever had a series of shows nearly demanded as much as this one so here they are. Since Great American Bash 2000 is still not done I’ll start this series and do all three in a row. This is the second One Night Stand (Two Night Stand? I hope there was at least breakfast in between) and is the first show in WWECW, as the show has been revived. Heyman has selected Angle and RVD over to his show so tonight Angle has an open challenge and RVD is cashing in MITB against Cena in a rather famous match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a shot of the crowd and HERE’S THE BOSS! That song he had which was the theme music for ECW on TNN is still awesome. He speaks for everyone that lived the dream to be a wrestler instead of a superstar and says that the tribe of extreme has risen again. They’re going to pour their Kool-Aid down the throats of everyone and it starts here tonight. The fans chant Thank You Paulie. This is because of the fans, not Vince. Heyman says he’ll be around for the fans and says this is better than Raw and Smackdown. The guy believed in what he had if nothing else.

Theme song plays us in.

Taz vs. Jerry Lawler

They had feuded with their commentaries for weeks leading up to this. Oh before I forget: there was a show called WWE vs. ECW on a Wednesday where Big Show jumped. That show will likely be referenced a lot tonight. Lawler of course is booed out of the building. The good thing though is Lawler is one of the best natural heels that has ever walked the face of the earth so this is no problem for him.

He goes over and slaps Joey before going to the ring. The strap goes down as the bell goes off but Joey comes in and jumps on his back. Piledriver attempt but Taz grabs the Tazmission and we’re done in 30 seconds via chokeout. Exactly what it should have been and a great way to protect Taz who can’t wrestle due to his neck.

We get a clip of the previously mentioned Wednesday show where Show turned. He and Orton were the last two in and Show pulled off his Raw shirt to reveal an ECW one. Well they had to give them some star power. On the same show Cena had a hardcore match with Sabu but Show saved Sabu from tapping and a massive brawl ended the show.

Taz jumps in on commentary.

Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Orton does his pose on the corner and Joey hates there being fireworks in ECW. This was an open challenge to anyone from any ring “4 sided, 6 sided or 8 sided.” Orton accepted it on Monday so this wasn’t a shock. Angle is of course over like no other here and that whole psycho thing worked well for him. The arena is all smoky now and the vulgar cheers begin. Orton hits the floor and the fans aren’t thrilled at all, chanting pussy at him.

Ankle lock doesn’t work so the fans chant Angle’s Gonna Kill You. Off to a headlock in the ring as the fans curse Orton out like no other. Angle goes for the ankle again and Orton bails again. The crowd is getting to him too. Kurt grabs a double leg with ease and takes Randy down and works him like there’s no tomorrow. Angle offers Randy a free shot and says here, give me a headlock.

Kurt escapes again with a suplex but gets sent into the post to give Randy his first actual advantage. Randy hammers away and Kurt is like screw it and charges him, taking him down with ease again. That seems to be a theme in this match. The fans think Randy can’t wrestle. This is the same company that said guys like Balls Mahoney were great too.

Kurt grabs a half nelson and cranks on the arm but Orton grabs a chinlock instead. The crowd LOUDLY chants boring which I can’t say I disagree with. Angle finally wakes up and snaps off a German but can’t capitalize. They slug it out and Angle is able to get some clotheslines to take over. Another German and let’s Roll with those.

Snap dropkick gets two for Orton as the fans stay on him. Angle reverses into a belly to back because he likes to suplex people. Angle Slam hits for a long two because the Angle Slam isn’t really a finisher, namely due to it never finishing anyone. Ankle lock is reversed and there’s the backbreaker. Top rope cross body is rolled through for two for Kurt. RKO is countered into an ankle lock attempt but that fails. The next attempt doesn’t though and Orton taps.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here but the chemistry was way off. Angle was destroying Orton out there and went into this big rush whenever Orton got anything going, making Orton look like an idiot out there. In one sense that’s fine but at the same time the match was kind of a mess because Orton never could get anything going. Angle would be gone in two months though so they didn’t really have to deal with it.

ECW is going to have house shows.

FBI vs. Tajiri/Super Crazy

Guido and Mamaluke here with a guy named Big Guido. The fans all chant welcome back to all four guys, even though some of them were here last year. Mamaluke isn’t tiny like he was back in the day of ECW. Tajiri breaks up a key lock by Mamaluke to tick off the Italians. Joey and Taz make fun of the whole Mexicool idea as the fans chant Nacho Libre. Technical stuff of course to start as that’s what you should expect from these guys.

Short arm scissors goes on and Crazy lifts Mamaluke up ala British Bulldog vs. Shawn Michaels. Taz says it’s like Backlund who is more famous for it I guess. Off to Tajiri (big pop) and Guido with the fans chanting for ECW in general. Guido grabs a very quick Fujiwara armbar but Tajiri gets a rope. That came out of nowhere. Guido really was good when he got going out there.

Tajiri gets something like an inbred cousin of the Tequila Sunrise which doesn’t last long. Tree of Woe for Guido and everything breaks down quickly. Double Tree of Woe and almost stereo baseball slides into the Italians. Crazy tries for the triple moonsaults but totally misses the bottom rope one and Mamaluke saves Guido from the others. Asai moonsault takes out the Italians though and everyone is down.

Big Guido finally gets into this and beats up Crazy like there’s nothing there. Crazy vs. Mamaluke now and Tony (Mamaluke’s first name if I missed that) throws on some fast submissions which get him nowhere. Guido kicks Crazy in the face and Tajiri is like GIMMICK INFRINGEMENT and kicks the Italians in half.

One man flapjack by Crazy sets up the tag to Tajiri and the kicks are on again. Octopus goes on Mamaluke as this has been about 1.1 sided. Handspring elbow takes out the Italians and a big kick to Guido gets two as it all breaks down again. Double Tarantula to the Italians as this is shifting to 1.05 sided. The good guys (I guess) try to take out Big Guido with kicks and that actually works. Some giant. Crazy gets taken down so Tajiri beats up the Italians for a bit until they catch him in a double Fisherman’s Buster to end it.

Rating: C. Really not sure if I agree with that ending as Tajiri was WAY more popular than anyone else in there. The Italians were a team that was funny when they had the joke right but then towards the end they blew it by making them just a regular tag team. Really not sure I get the ending there but not a bad match at all.

Big Show comes out and beats everyone up, including having what I guess is a big showdown with Big Guido.

ECW on Sci-Fi debuts Tuesday.

JBL pops up in the balcony with some other WWE guys behind him to run down WCW. The fans chant homosexual slurs which JBL has no issues shouting back at them. We get references to the Blue Meanie incident last year where JBL legitimately beat up Meanie during the big brawl to end the show. This goes into a huge anti-ECW rant where he praises Vince and bashes everything ECW stood for. This is great heel stuff and the crowd reaction mostly proves it. Oh and now JBL is the voice of Smackdown.

Get the ECW book!

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Sabu

Rey is booed out of the freaking building. Naturally he’s only the World Champion here instead of the World Heavyweight Champion because that’s how they roll here. This is under extreme rules, like every other match here should be but of course isn’t because that’s not the WWE way. Rey has a chair during the big match intros. Sabu grabs one before the bell and the fans are totally behind Sabu. Joey: “Mixed reaction here for Rey.” Taz: “Nah they’re booing him.”

After some basic wrestling stuff they duel with the chairs and guess who wins that. Air Sabu in the corner but Rey gets a drop toehold to break up the Triple Jump Moonsault. 619 misses and you would think Rey had just banned rainbows. BIG chair shot sends Rey to the floor and the brawl is on. It’s table time with the table set up as a bridge between the ring and the railing.

Rey is placed on it but moves as Sabu starts setting up. Sabu gets sent into the steps and a moonsault press gets two for Rey. Camel clutch by Sabu which draws a Sheik chant. Naturally he lets it go to grab a table. Arabian Facebuster has Rey in trouble as he left the table on the floor. Table is set up in front of the aisle but Rey knocks him onto it and hits a seated senton through it to put both guys down in the aisle.

Sabu’s arm is messed up and Rey tries something like Air Sabu in the corner but Sabu gets out of the way and hits a springboard leg lariat to take Rey down. Triple Jump Moonsault gets a close two. It was more like a knee drop to the face but close enough. Sabu gets all ticked off and pelts the chair at the head of Rey to take him down. Onto the bridged table from earlier and a big front flip dive over the top through the table takes both guys out. And here are some suits to say that they can’t continue and we’re done. I’ll spare you a very long rant about how stupid this is.

Rating: C+. This would have been higher if this had a finish. Rey wasn’t used to being hated like this so they went against it for the sake of having a decent match. That being said, taking the superhero out of the match in case it got too extreme is incredibly stupid. Oh screw it. Here’s that rant I mentioned.

This is the first shot to killing ECW. Let’s take a look at some of Sabu’s more famous stuff. He’s ripped open a bicep and glued it back together to continue a match. He’s had to be cut out of barbed wire after winning a match. He’s been set on fire. He’s been put through more tables than you can count. He’s been beaten up, stomped on, kicked, smacked around, choked out and everything else you can think of, but here he can’t continue because of going through a single table.

Just think about that for a minute. How weak does that make him look? The old grizzled hero of the people now can’t take a single shot through a table by doctors’ orders. How many times do you remember a doctor being around in ECW? The very idea of a DQ in ECW was blasphemy. You can see right here how it’s a WWE show and not an ECW show at all.

This would be a sign of things to come for the company as I’ sure you remember the Zombie being on the first show on Sci-Fi. Yes, as in a dead guy that craves human flesh. It’s as stupid as it sounds. Anyway, ECW was dead and the proof should have started right here. Stupid moment as even Rey winning on a fluke pin would have made more sense here. Just terribly stupid and a way to make ECW look weak from the get go.

Anyway take a guess as to how the fans take this one. The replay shows that it was more or less a jumping DDT to Rey so he should be hurt a good deal worse.

We recap Edge/Foley vs. Dreamer/Funk. Foley and Edge had a great hardcore match at Mania and declared that he and Edge were the best hardcore guys ever. Funk and Dreamer protested and we have a match. Heyman went off on Foley, saying he was a prostitute. Oh and Edge and Foley were declared co-hardcore champions. Foley says everyone in ECW is jealous because he got the star power that none of them did. Heyman made the required tag match.

Edge/Mick Foley vs. Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk

Foley is booed out of the building but we have promos before the match. He says he did sell out, but he means Madison Square Garden. He loved ECW at the point when it was run by a true visionary, so let’s hear it for Stephanie McMahon! Long live the Alliance! Funny stuff. Here’s Edge with Lita. Edge says this is ECW’s Christmas but Heyman is Santa. Then they’re going to go home and text their imaginary girlfriends that the show was great then get on the internet and pleasure themselves to his actual girlfriend. Funny stuff again. Lita says the fans get little action and runs down Beaulah.

The cover of Man in the Box comes on to keep the riot from starting. Even Beaulah is here so let’s make it a six man/woman.

Edge/Mick Foley/Lita vs. Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk/Beaulah McGillicutty

Always thought Beaulah looked great. Wonder if she’s related to Michael. Beaulah is in heels so this isn’t going to go well for her. Catfight to start but the guys pull them back. Edge and Dreamer start us off and they actually wrestle a bit. Off to Foley and Funk quickly who wrestle a bit also. Actually I’d give that to Funk. He might be better at it even though he’s a bit out of practice. Foley isn’t sure he wants to do this and tries to leave. Yep here’s the brawl.

Dreamer grabs some water to send into Edge’s face as Funk hammers on Foley with whatever he takes a notion to. The girls are still chilling on the apron as weapons come into the ring. There aren’t going to be any more tags at all are there? I really wouldn’t expect a lot of play by play from this point on. Baseball slide into a garbage can into Foley’s head. Edge takes over on Dreamer and it’s ladder time already.

The old dudes go up the aisle and it’s so nice to see WWE production values here where they know how to go back and forth and keep up with the action rather than seeing the tops of people’s heads and calling it following the action. Ladder goes upside Dreamer’s head but a spear is hiptossed and Edge lands on the ladder. Funk and Foley get back in and it’s windmill with the ladder time.

Funk, a spry 61 here, goes up the ladder only for Edge to dump it over and have him crash down onto the mat below. Dreamer sets for the Dreamer Driver on Edge but Lita finally does something, breaking up the Driver. Foley and Edge find a big plywood board. Uh…ok? They find another one covered in barbed wire. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT! They slam it down on Dreamer who gets it caught in his skin.

They try to do it again but Funk pulls their feet out and it lands on the heels, including Edge’s face. The fans, ever the nice guys, chant that they want fire. Barbed wire board is set up in the corner and it’s time for some punching on Foley before he gets thrown through the board. Dreamer is crotched on the railing outside as the fans think this is awesome. I’d be inclined to agree for once.

Foley manages to throw the board onto Funk and has Lita get even more barbed wire. It gets wrapped around Foley’s arm and he rams it into Funk’s head. Terry is bleeding all over and shakes like a fish as is his custom. Foley rams the wire into his face for good measure so the referees take Funk out as he screams about his eye. The fans want Sandman but get a barbed wire ball bat instead.

That goes into Dreamer’s anatomy, including his balls due to the leg drop from Lita. Mick pulls out a pair of socks to really tick the fans off. Foley goes ultra heel by putting the Claw on Beaulah, setting Dreamer off. He gets caught in the hold anyway and Edge spears him half to death. Edge and Lita go after Beaulah and Edge bends her over in front of him. Where are Trish and HHH when you need them for pointers?

Instead it’s Funk, coming through the crowd with a big bandage around his head and a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire. The distraction lets Dreamer hit a pair of low blows and Beaulah chases Lita off. Funk blasts them both with the board and then in the words of Bubba Ray Dudley, why don’t we just light it on fire? Funk drills Edge with it then hits Foley, sending him through the barbed wire board which Foley said was absolute agony on a commentary I heard for this match.

Funk gets dropped on top of him but Dreamer takes down Edge, putting him in a Crossface but instead of choking him he wraps barbed wire around his face and pulls back on it. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Catfight ensues and Dreamer gives Lita a Death Valley Driver and is all fired up but Edge grabs an Edge-O-Matic with the barbed wire. Spear to Beaulah and a cover with Edge putting her legs in the air and bouncing up and down on her ends this absolute war.

Rating: A-. Freaking WAR here as these four absolutely destroyed each other in the name of violence and revenge. Edge looked like a superstar which was the point of this whole thing. This is easily the match of the show and is well worth seeing if you’re a fan of big old violent wars. The WWE camera work helps a lot here too as they barely missed anything which is a major upgrade over the regular ECW production values. Check this one out as it’s great stuff and very violent but in a good way.

We take some time to clean up the carnage. Funk is still in barbed wire and him giving instructions on how to get him out of it is funny for some reason.

Cena is in the back and the heat is unreal.

RVD is getting ready and the fans are a bit more pleased.

Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka

Taz (sans sunglasses) makes fun of Balls being from Nutley, New Jersey. What are the odds of that one? These two used to be tag champions. Show of respect to start as the fans are totally behind Tanaka. He has a bad shoulder too. Tanaka hammers away to start but walks into a powerslam and some punches. Mahoney is sent to the floor so Tanaka dives on him to start a brawl outside.

Balls wants a beer so he takes a sip and drills Tanaka with the rest of it. Running chair shot misses as a fan has a sign that says pork. No one ever said they made sense. Back in now and Tanaka gets a superplex for two. Balls gets one of his own and screw it let’s have a chair duel. A huge shot from Mahoney is enough to end it, which is a bit hard to buy after the war Tanaka and Awesome had last year.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match to give the fans a breather which is probably a good idea. This was a rematch from some original PPV I think but that wasn’t referenced. To be fair though it’s not like there was a point to this one so I can’t blame them for that one. Just a match here and there’s nothing bad about that.

We recap RVD winning MITB at Mania and saying he wasn’t sure when to cash it in. He picked One Night Stand which makes perfect sense from his perspective actually. This gets the music video treatment.

The announcer gets ready to announce the match but here’s Eugene instead. Oh I don’t see this ending well at all. He says he loves ECW and says he’s Bischoff’s nephew which was forgotten by this time I think. He says he’s hardcore and thinks the boos are U for Eugene. He has a poem about ECW and the announcers blast this beyond belief.

Eugene gets through a few verses and says he wants to hug everyone…..and here’s Sandman to not Enter Sandman. The entrance takes forever but the destruction of Eugene….gee this isn’t a nice place is it? That was the inherent flaw in the Eugene character but that’s par for the course in wrestling. Eugene runs during the beating which is rather intelligent.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam

After an extended entrance from RVD, it’s time for the moment that this show is remembered for. Cena’s entrance is a sight to behold as you will never, ever see more heat on one guy no matter how long you live. There’s the famous “If Cena Wins We Riot” sign but the thing here is: they really will riot.

The start of the song gets just booing but when he steps through the curtain it’s on. You see nothing but middle fingers as he comes down the aisle and Cena holds the title up like a boxer would and just soaks it in. The big match intros make it even worse. They throw his hat and shirt back, which says a lot actually. Then they do it again. Make it three times. Would you believe four? The thing to remember: there are only 2,500 people here. Watch this match and you would seriously think it was a 15,000 seat arena. It’s that bad.

There’s the bell and Cena is shaken up. There’s the FU already. The chant to Cena, not the move. Toilet paper comes in and this is insane. They lock it up a few times and Cena shoves him into the corner as the fans say you can’t wrestle. This is Extreme Rules which I forgot to mention. Perfectplex gets two. Every single move Cena makes is being booed even louder and it seems to be legit getting to him. Can’t say I blame him but it’s weird to see from Cena.

RVD kicks him to the floor and is nothing less than divine here. They butt heads in the ring and slug it out. Powerslam gets two for the champ and a clothesline sends him to the floor. The fans chant “same old stuff” but in a bit more colorful way. Cena goes up top and drops a forearm from the top and sends Van Dam into the table. Now the fans think he’s overrated. RVD gets a moonsault press off the steps to take over out of nowhere.

Cena reverses an Irish Whip and down goes the cameraman. Out into the crowd which I give Cena legit credit for doing as I’d be scared of being stabbed or something. Cena gets draped over the railing and Van Dam hits that spinning legdrop to take both guys down. Back to the ring now but Rob gets a baseball slide and a slingshot guillotine legdrop for no cover. Skateboard chair shot in the corner gets a close two.

Rolling Thunder lands on the chair but a delay in the cover means only two. Split legged moonsault (take notes Morrison) eats knees (take better notes) and Cena gets a DDT on the chair which no one sells like Van Dam. The fans remind him that he can’t wrestle. I wonder if Vince gave the guys a similar speech when they changed the company name. With a chair wedged between the ropes, Cena gets a slingshot to send RVD’s head into it for a close two.

Cena shows he has a massive set and does You Can’t See Me and the Five Knuckle Shuffle which is about as evil as you can get in ECW. FU is countered and a double leg spin kick takes Cena down. Cena cranks it up but a charge eats boot. The kick off the top is just ducked and Van Dam crashes. Crowd chants YOU STILL SUCK. RVD tries to sit Cena on the top rope (the rope itself, not the corner) but drops him to the floor. Dropkick sends Cena into the railing and it’s table time.

Table is set up in the corner by Van Dam but he turns around into the STFU. There’s a rope after a long crawl but does he really have to break it in an extreme rules match? The referee gets in Cena’s face so Cena drills him with a clothesline and crotches Rob on the top. Superplex but there’s no referee.

Cena brings in the steps and DRILLS Van Dam with them as I guess he’s a heel now as far as this match goes. A Smackdown referee comes in to count two and it’s FU time. RVD grabs the ropes so Cena sends him over the top instead. Out of NOWHERE a guy in a helmet and trenchcoat pops up to spear Cena through the table.

The helmet comes off and it’s Edge. Crowd: THANK YOU EDGE! THANK YOU EDGE! THANK YOU EDGE! This is the guy that tried to kill Tommy Dreamer earlier remember. Van Dam is like ok (Joey: Do it Rob, we’ll take it!”) and the Five Star hits as Heyman comes out to count the pin. This actually counted because Heyman was a WWE big shot or something like that. More or less he was the ECW GM.

Rating: B+. This is more for the crowd than the match for once. No question about it: this is required viewing to show what is meant by having the crowd make a match better than it should be. The people made RVD Cena’s equal and that was a big leap for him at this point. There was no other option for the ending, if nothing else for fear of the WWE guys’ safety. Good match, absolutely amazing visual.

RVD celebrates in the crowd as the locker room has a beer bash in the ring. Does anyone else find it really funny that Heyman never made Van Dam world champion but Vince and later Bischoff did?

Overall Rating: A. While it’s a step below last year’s, this was an awesome show with FAR better in ring stuff including two must see matches and some other decent stuff. This felt like a PPV instead of a reunion and that’s what it was supposed to be. Great show as everyone was working hard and it seemed like there was a reason for ECW to come back. Granted Van Dam was busted for drug possession in about three weeks and dropped the title and Angle would be in TNA in about four months, but we can let that go for the sake of a great show. Well worth seeing for multiple reasons.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on TNN
Date: December 3, 1999
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,700
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

Another week, another ECW show. We’re somehow getting close to the end of this series, even though we’re barely a fourth of the way through it. The main story at the moment is Dreamer/Raven vs. the Impact Players and Raven getting beaten up even though he keeps doing the right thing. Other than that I’m sure we’ll have New Jack yelling about bald people again. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Raven’s history with Sandman who caned him last week.

Opening sequence.

After Joel and Joey do their thing, here are the Impact Players. Justin says he and Storm are the tag champions but Joey disagrees with them. Justin says guys like Candido and Rhyno take the bullets for the Impact Players, so here are the guys he mentioned plus Sunny in a great red dress. Candido says he’s responsible for the Players being here and Rhyno says screw talking and let’s fight. Dawn and Sunny have a Catfight as security breaks the guys up.

After a break, Steve Corino rants about Limp Bizkit being in concert in the next building because the music is driving him crazy. He’s going to go and yell at Bizkit. Even Jack Victory says he’s on his own in this one. Apparently this was in Illinois. Ok then.

Super Crazy vs. Ikuto Hidaka

For no apparent reason we cut to Sandman in the back where he complains about Raven and all the things Raven has done to him over the year. Back in the arena we actually get the start of the match this time. They trade hammerlocks to start Hidaka takes him to the mat and cranks on the knee, actually making Crazy limp. That’s a new one for him. We start a fast paced flip fest with neither guy being able to take over. It’s a double nip up and a standoff, drawing a round of applause.

Hidaka hits a hard kick and sends Crazy to the floor, followed by a springboard corkscrew dive as we take a break. Yes on ECW. Back with Hidada hitting a springboard tornado DDT for two. Crazy comes back with a springboard moonsault for two. Crazy fires away 20 punches in the corner but Hidaka kicks him in the arm (it was supposed to be the head) to take Crazy down for two. The Japanese guy hits a German on the Mexican for two. Hidaka’s tornado DDT is countered and Crazy kills him with a powerbomb. A moonsault gets the pin for the luchador.

Rating: C. This was the kind of match that was designed to fire up the crowd but it was nothing but a spot fest. Those kind of matches can be fun, but the lack of selling always gets on my nerves. This was way better than the previous week’s version of this though due to the lack of overbooking.

Corino is at a Limp Bizkit concert. He yells at some fans and apparently we’ll be seeing more later.

Raven says Sandman is just like Raven’s father: an abusive drunk.

Corino confronts lead singer Fred Durst. This goes on for awhile.

Cyrus talks to Jerry Lynn but Jerry won’t answer any questions about Tajiri.

Sandman vs. Raven

Dreamer is referee. They immediately (by that I mean after Sandman’s entrance and after a break) fight on the floor with Sandman sending Raven into various metal objects. Sandman puts a table up against the barricade and Raven is busted open already. As per the #1 law of wrestling though, Sandman goes through the table and both guys are down. They head inside along with two tables and two chairs.

Raven hits the drop toehold onto the chair as the fans chant for Sandman, making Bird Boy freak out. Sandy misses a slingshot dive through the table and both guys are down again. Off to a sleeper by Raven but Sandman drives both of them through another table with Raven getting the worst of it. Another table (#4 if you’re counting) is thrown in and Sandman fires off more punches.

There’s a table in two opposite corners now but Raven hits Sandman low to take over. Sandman comes back and puts Raven in front of a table before hitting a flip dive through it. Here are Candido and Rhyno who beat up everyone in sight. Both Dreamer and Sandman get Gored through tables but it only gets two for Raven.

Sandman DDTs Raven down and here’s Lori, Sandman’s ex wife who joined Raven’s cult back in the day. She hits Raven low but Francine comes out for a Catfight for DDTs Lori. Raven hits a DDT on Sandman and good grief the Impact Players come in for run in #7 or so. Justin canes Raven and the White Russian Legsweep gets the pin for Sandman.

Rating: D. As usual, we have an interesting idea going on here with Dreamer and Raven and Sandman, but the overbooking takes away anything they had going for it. Dreamer meant nothing at all here and for the life of me I’m not sure I know what’s going on in this feud. Do Dreamer and Raven ever defend the belts anymore?

We close on the Bizkit concert again, with Axl Rotten, Balls Mahoney and New Jack helping Fred Durst beat up Corino. You can’t understand a word being said in any of the promos so it doesn’t mean much anyway.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t as bad as the previous episode, but at the same time it was still a mess. With only two matches, it seems to me that there is a lot of time being wasted elsewhere. Now I get that stuff outside of matches can be good, but when you can’t understand a word being said by Corino or Durst, it doesn’t really make that big of a difference. Still though, I’d rather see that than New Jack (who didn’t go after the Baldies at all this week so I guess that was just forgotten about).

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on TNN
Date: November 26, 1999
Location: Aragon Ballroom, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 3,912
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

It’s the day after Thanksgiving which means the Cowboys are probably on a losing streak. When may be a bit more surprising is that with this episode, I’ll be ¼ done with the entire series. Think about that for a minute. This show wasn’t even on the air for 60 episodes. The next PPV isn’t for a month and a half so we’ve got some time to fill. Let’s get to it.

After a very quick intro by Joel and Joey, here’s Jerry Lynn to open things up. Joey asks him if he’s in league with Tajiri and Jerry says that’s it for this interview and leaves.

Theme song.

Rhyno tells Candido that Candido needs to find him a warmup match or Candido will get the warmup beating. Sunny implies she’ll de-hornify Rhyno if he gives her ten minutes.

TV Title: CW Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam

During RVD’s entrance, we cut to New Jack in New York looking for the Baldies. New Jack flat out says he wants to rape Angel. We miss the opening of the match because of a merchandise plug. Anderson is in control to start with a headlock and left hand in the corner. Van Dam comes back with a sunset flip and spinwheel kick to take over. Another kick takes Anderson down and the cartwheel moonsault gets two. CW comes back with a superkick (WAY too popular of a move in ECW) for two and a neckbreaker for the same.

Anderson goes up but gets crotched. When has going to the top EVER gone well for someone named Anderson? Yes, they’re actually pushing him as Arn’s relative, which I hope has some tongue in cheek aspects to it here. They head to the floor with Van Dam putting him over the barricade and hitting the spinning leg to Anderson’s back. Back in and a spinebuster puts Van Dam down for two. That doesn’t seem to matter though as a few kicks put Anderson down and the Five Star retains the title.

Rating: C-. This was your normal TV Title match for Van Dam: he comes out, he gets the crowd fired up, he hits some kicks, he retains the title, the fans all say it’s way better than it really was. Anderson was supposed to be a big time heel in ECW but he never quite got anywhere with it, other than an I Quit match with Dreamer which again wasn’t as great as people make it out to be.

New Jack is still looking for the Baldies. He annoys the one person he finds on a NEW YORK CITY subway and that’s about it.

We come back to the arena and Sabu is fighting Van Dam.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu

Why is Sabu out here? No reason given. Why are tag partners fighting? No reason given. Van Dam kicks Sabu down but gets crotched as he goes up. Sabu hits a springboard hurricanrana off the top for two. Fonzie slides in a chair which goes upside Van Dam’s head. The Triple Jump Moonsault mostly misses and we head to the floor. Van Dam dives into the crowd onto Sabu and we take a break.

Back with Van Dam on a table between the barricade and ring with Sabu diving off the top through it. Sabu slams him down in the ring…..and we take another break? Back with Sabu falling on the chair as he loads up another Triple Jump Moonsault which apparently hurt his knee. Van Dam goes after the knee and here are Candido and Rhyno to beat both guys up.

Van Dam and Sabu kick them down with chairs before Van Dam hits a flip dive over the top to take both guys out. Sabu tries a dive of his own but the knee gives out. Van Dam goes back in and works on the knee, hitting a Five Star onto the chair onto the knee. He puts on a bridging Indian Deathlock and Fonzie throws in the towel.

Rating: N/A. This is one of those matches where the match went long enough to get a rating, but there was so much other stuff going on that there is no way to fairly grade it. These two would have a title match at the PPV which Van Dam would win, but that begs the question of why give it away for free here? That’ll come up later on so we’ll get to it in a bit.

Little Guido vs. Super Crazy

Before we start what should be a good match, we go back to New Jack in the subway. He’s on the #6 train. Actually he’s in front of it so he’s already lying. Once again we miss the opening and come back to see Guido taking him to the mat. A cross armbreaker is broken up and we have a standoff. They both counter a few moves until Crazy tries a standing Lionsault but gets dropkicked out of the air.

Guido drops a knee to the face of Crazy but Crazy stops to go after Big Sal. After Crazy escapes Sal’s clutches, Guido misses a dive onto Crazy and Crazy hits an Asai Moonsault onto both of them. Back in and Guido hits a top rope Fameasser for two. The idea of selling doesn’t mean much in ECW. In a cool move, Crazy sets for a Lionsault but Guido pops up onto the ropes and hits a Russian Leg Sweep off the middle rope for two.

Crazy gets powerbombed out of the corner for two. Again the lack of selling is ridiculous. A tornado DDT puts Guido down for a delayed two. A top rope flip dive gets the same and it’s time to punch in the corner. Big Sal comes in and crushes the referee before getting ranaed by Crazy. Tajiri and Lynn come in for no apparent reason and beat up Crazy to give Guido the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t dull but it wasn’t any good. The problem here was that instead of a coherent match with any flow or psychology (or selling) to it, they were just hitting random moves on each other until the run-in which made no sense at the end. The annoying thing about ECW is that Crazy vs. Guido could be a good match but they have to overbook it so much that it loses whatever it could have going for it.

Lance Storm/Justin Credible/Rhyno vs. Tommy Dreamer/Raven/Sandman

Here’s a rematch of November to Remember’s main event, because why pay for it when you can get it for free here? Then again why would you pay for it in the first place? Back to New York and the Baldies were on another train and leave with no confrontation. Yep, that’s the payoff after all that build up. Before Sandman and Raven get here, Dreamer goes after Credible. It turns into a three on one beating and here’s Raven for the save. That goes badly for Bird Boy as Storm kicks him down. A chair is brought in and Storm goes face first into it, giving the tag champs (Dreamer and Raven) the advantage.

We have like six minutes of airtime left and Sandman hasn’t started his entrance yet. Dreamer gets double teamed by Rhyno and Storm in the ring while Credible beats on Raven on the floor. Here comes Sandman so the heels all stop what they’re doing. You know, because a guy staring at them is enough to make them stop beating on their opponents.

Sandman comes in and misses everyone before Storm superkicks him down. There’s no semblance of a match here at all as it’s just a big brawl. Dreamer piledrives Rhyno and Francine hits Storm low. Dawn does the same to Dreamer and we have a Catfight. Sandman hits the White Russian Leg Sweep on Justin for two. Raven loads up a DDT on Storm but Sandman hits his partner with the cane and Storm pins him.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t a match. It was a wild brawl with the occasional wrestling move thrown in. When you have a wrestling match for me to rate, let me know. Nothing to see here.

New Jack finds a Baldie but a single shot to the back from another one knocks him out.

Overall Rating: D. The problem with ECW on TNN is that it’s very obvious that there are only about three stories going on in the entire show. You have Sabu vs. Van Dam (with no reason given as to why they’re fighting), the Dreamer/Raven stuff, and the Baldies vs. New Jack. Other than that, there’s NOTHING going on here. If I don’t care about any of those stories, I have no reason to watch. The problem on top of that is that these stories aren’t fleshed out at all. Basically the people are fighting because they’re supposed to be fighting. That’s not good and it’s not working here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW House Party 1996
Date: January 5, 1996
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,150
Commentator: Joey Styles

Great, back to Philly again. This was another request for a show which I don’t remember the reasoning behind. This is from ECW golden era as Heyman was still considered brilliant before he self destructed and messed up everything he had built. I only know a little bit about this time period so it’s hard to say what’s coming. There’s a chance there’s a legendary ECW moment here so if that’s the case I’m looking forward to it. Let’s get to it.

Joey is in the ring to start but can’t even say his own name before Bill Alfonso and the whistle interrupt him. Fonzie says that he hates Styles and wants more interviews for himself and Taz. Joey finally rips into Fonzie and says that he’s ruining everything. They argue some more until Taz comes in and threatens Styles.

911, the 7’0 300lb enforcer of ECW, comes out to save Joey. Promoter Tod Gordon runs out and blasts Fonzie, making Taz go after Gordon. 911 grabs Taz by the throat but referees come out and break it up. The ring is cleared out other than one small guy who Taz suplexes. Joey gets yelled at again so here’s 911 again. A guy that looks like Chris Jericho with black hair runs in and jumps 911, taking out his knee.

Oh it’s Kronus with Saturn, more commonly known as the Eliminators, to beat up 911. This goes on for awhile until Rey Mysterio comes in for the save. This is back when Rey had two good knees and wasn’t roided out of his mind. He flies all over the place and cleans house, sending the Eliminators to the floor and hitting a big moonsault press to take both guys out. We have a match apparently.

Rey Mysterio Jr./911 vs. The Eliminators

Rey vs. Kronus to start with Mysterio flying all over the place and taking out both Eliminators with an armdrag/rana combo. Rey gets sent to the floor and here’s Taz to choke 911 again. The fans chant for Sabu and Taz just lets go. Rey and Kronus have some weapons brought in and everything breaks down. Well, as much as everything can break down in an ECW match.

Total Elimination takes 911 down again and Taz chokes him some more. Saturn (who has long black hair here) powerbombs Rey down but Mysterio comes back with a double DDT. 911 gets back in and Rey gets on his shoulders. It’s time to play some chicken. Rey fakes Saturn out though and jumps into the air, hitting a rana on Kronus off Saturn’s shoulders for the pin. That looked awesome.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much but the Eliminators were nothing more than Total Elimination and matching black hair at this point. Mysterio would be in WCW in about 5 months while 911 would be 911 for the rest of his time in ECW. Nothing to see here but the ending was pretty sweet looking.

Post match the Eliminators take out Mysterio and the Pitbulls run in for the save. Francine, looking good in leather, beats up Jason, the Eliminators’ manager. The Eliminators pull her off Jason and hit Total Elimination on her, basically killing her. Jason gets beaten up as a consolation prize.

Rob Van Dam vs. Axl Rotten

This is Van Dam’s ECW debut. Rotten looks a bit thinner than he would in his more famous days. Rotten runs from a spin kick and then wants a karate fight. We haven’t had any significant contact in the first minute or so here. Rotten gets in a shot and starts pounding away, only to get caught in a Japanese armdrag for one. A chop takes Rotten down for two as Rob is starting to roll. In the match, not joints.

Rotten pokes Rob in the eye and sends him into the buckle to take over. Something we would call the Angle Slam puts Van Dam down and Rotten pounds away in the corner. It’s so strange to see Van Dam getting no fan support like this. Rotten makes some martial arts motions but misses a top rope elbow.

About two people try to start a LET’S GO ROB chant but it doesn’t quite work. Van Dam hits a top rope splash minus the frog aspect for two. Rotten goes to the floor and Rob hits a flip dive to put him down again. Back in and the top rope kick gets two. Rotten pounds away in the corner but misses a charge. Split legged moonsault gets the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but it’s pretty historic for ECW. It’s always fun to see where guys started, as Rob here was just a guy in a singlet who could jump high in the air. Rotten was better as a tag team guy which we’ll see later on. Other than that, this was just a way to fill in about seven minutes, which was fine.

TV Title: Mikey Whipwreck vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

Mikey won a winner take all match for the TV and Tag Titles over Scorpio a few weeks ago. Through a series of unimportant events, Mikey has accidentally joined Raven’s Nest (the original Flock) which neither the Nest or Mikey wants. Keep that in mind for later. Scorpio has Woman with him but there’s no Cactus, Mikey’s partner, for Mikey to balance things out. Whipwreck is defending if that wasn’t clear.

Scorpio says that Mikey can leave now and avoid a beating, so Mikey hits him with the belt to get us going. Mikey hits another belt shot but Scorpio kicks it back into his face to take over. Whipwreck gets launched into the air and crashes down face first onto the mat. A kick to the head puts Mikey down again and the beating continues. Scorpio talks some trash on a mic and keeps beating the champion up.

Mikey finally hits an enziguri to slow the beating down, followed by a cross body to send Scorpio to the floor. The idea is that Mikey was so used to getting beaten up that he’s not experienced on offense yet. They head to the floor and Mikey keeps pounding away on the back. Back in and Mikey grabs a German suplex for two. A legdrop gets one and 2 Cold has to poke him in the eye to break the momentum.

A powerbomb is countered into a rana by Mikey followed by a jumping kick to the ribs off the top. That looked bad. Scorpio heads to the floor and hits a running chair shot to the head of Whipwreck. Back in and a powerbomb keeps Mikey down. He gets sent into the chair and Scorpio can taste the gold. I wonder if it tastes like chicken. Everything else does. A powerslam sets up a twisting legdrop out of the corner but Mikey gets out at two.

Mikey reverses a bulldog to send Scorpio face first into a chair. He pops Scorpio in the back with the chair a few times, followed by a surfboard. 2 Cold gets up as most of Mikey’s offense doesn’t work that well and hits a Tombstone Powerslam for two. A moonsault hits but Scorpio lets him up, which is what cost him the initial match. Scorpio superplexes him but again lets Mikey up at two.

The Tumbleweed (rotating splash) gets two on Whipwreck again and now Scorpio is getting mad. Mikey grabs a swinging DDT out of nowhere but it only gets two. A top rope rana puts Scorpio down but he rolls to the floor before he gets covered. Mikey hits a BIG dive off the top and over the barricade to take Scorpio down again. Back in and Scorpio kicks Mikey’s head off to take over. Scorpio hits a belly to back superplex but the referee gets hit in the process. Cue Raven who DDTs Mikey, allowing Scorpio to hit a moonsault into a legdrop for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good overall and the best match on the card by a few miles so far. Mikey could sell like a master but his offense never quite worked. He was a character designed around making the fans feel sorry for him and therefore care about him, but it doesn’t do much in one shots like this one. Scorpio was his usual high flying awesome self.

Taz vs. Hack Myers

Speaking of guys that are only good for the live crowd, I give you Hack Myers. He’s a biker that doesn’t do much other than punch and he’s called the Shah of Hardcore for no apparent reason. Fonzie comes out in a Dallas Cowboys jersey, making him more awesome than anything on this show so far. Myers works on the arm for a bit but Taz throws him down like a fly. You know, because you often throw over flies.

Joey talks about “these Ultimate Fighting PPVs” which have inspired guys like Taz. Taz rolls him down to the mat and puts on a hold of some sort on the neck. Myers sends him into the corner and elbows him in the back of the head to take over. Taz is like screw that and takes him down with a judo throw. Some more punches are countered by a T-Bone Tazplex followed by a head and arms Tazplex. A German Tazplex sets up the Tazmission for the tap.

Rating: D. Taz was pretty awesome with those suplexes but he needed more to work with here. Myers was a hometown favorite but man was he boring to watch for non-ECW fans. Taz would run through ECW for the next year or so before facing Sabu in the real main event of Barely Legal.

Post match Taz says he’s going on a Path of Rage through ECW and no one is stopping him. That was pretty much correct.

Jimmy Del Ray vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Del Ray is one half of the Heavenly Bodies but Tom Pritchard has been sent to the WWF as Zip in the Body Donnas, so Del Ray has Mr. Hughes with him now to try to give him something to do. Sign Guy Dudley has a Sign Off with the Sign Guy in the front row. Moving on. Bubba can’t say his name which was his gimmick back then, so Del Ray jumps him to start. Bubba pounds him into the corner and comes back with a dropkick (yes you read that right) and it’s time for a dance off!

Bubba seems to win so Del Ray jumps him and pounds away. Neckbreaker gets two. Del Ray, as well as Pritchard for that matter, never really did anything for me although I haven’t seen a lot of their SMW stuff which is their most famous work. Del Ray’s whip into the corner is reversed and the big fat Bubba hits a corner splash but Del Ray hits him low.

A tornado DDT gets two for Jimmy and he’s getting frustrated because his minute and a half of offense didn’t work. Dudley tries the Bubba Bomb (a powerbomb, not the full nelson kind) but Mr. Hughes distracts him, which to be fair isn’t that hard to do. Del Ray hits Bubba again but as he tries a backdrop, Bubba DDTs him for the pin. Bubba would get better to say the least. Too short to rate but this was nothing.

Post match a brawl breaks out and Mr. Hughes yells about the Dudleys and Bubba’s inability to speak English in particular….and here’s Shane Douglas. He’s returning to ECW after being Dean Douglas in the WWF and the fans ERUPT. He’s doing a parody of the teacher, making fun of the English of Bubba. Shane does the Triple Threat sign and says things are going to be fixed around here. Shane hits Bubba and that’s about it. What an odd way to return for a big name in ECW.

At this point there would be a match with the Bad Breed vs. JT Smith and Tony Stetson but apparently it wasn’t on the home video. It went to a no contest, apparently due to the Bad Breed half murdering them.

We now get to the very famous segment from this show. Dancing Stevie Richards comes out along with Blue Meanie and Beaulah. Stevie says he’s no longer Dancing Stevie but rather Studly Stevie, the King of Swing. He talks about Missy Hyatt wanting him which is the result of them kissing on Hardcore TV recently. He makes fun of the American Males which shows you the level of references they’re reaching here.

Joey makes fun of Richards for wasting TV time like this. Stevie points out that Raven isn’t here and talks about how Raven was at a concert in early December. Raven started partying that night and he’s just now coming down. During that span, Beaulah has been neglected by Raven so Richards is going to kiss her to make up for it. She says no and that she doesn’t want to be touched. Richards says it’s because she’s Raven’s girl but she says it’s because she’s pregnant. Joey freaking out by that is pretty funny stuff.

Raven comes out and yells at her, saying the pills say one day at a time. We get the next bombshell as Beaulah says it’s not Raven’s. Raven blasts Richards but she says it’s not his either. She says it’s Tommy’s and Raven freaks. Dreamer runs out and destroys Raven, hitting him with whatever he can find, including a sign with a stop sign hidden inside.

Then in one of the more bizarre moments in ECW history (which is saying a lot) a fan hands Tommy a blueberry pie which Raven gets piledriven onto. You know, because when you come to a wrestling show, you bring blueberry pie with you. Dreamer and Beaulah leave together as this feud continues.

ECW World Title: Sandman vs. Konnan

Sandman is defending. Woman is with Sandman and is in a different dress than earlier tonight. Sandman has an abbreviated entrance here, only taking four and a half minutes to get into the ring. This is back when Konnan was young and awesome. Awesome to the point that he would be on Nitro in less than three weeks. The champ stalls a lot as the fans boo Konnan for some reason. Oh it’s because he sold out after being in ECW for just a few months.

Konnan takes him down by the arm and works over the champ’s legs. With the legs tied up, he hooks a suplex head grip and cranks away on Sandman in a cool submission. Sandman accidentally falls into a counter (Joey’s words) and it’s a standoff. Konnan takes him right back to the mat in a rolling neck lock. Even Joey doesn’t know what to call it. Sandman actually tries to sit out with Konnan and they head to the floor.

Back in and a clothesline takes Konnan down as Sandman finally gets in some offense. Konnan kicks him in the face and speeds things up again. Sandman throws him to the floor and hits a plancha to crush Konna against the railing. Both guys are down now which is about the last thing they needed to do at this point. Konnan hits him in the head with a chair but Sandman elbows him in the head.

Konnan gets draped over the barricade and Sandman is in control after finally taking it to a place where he has some skill. They head into the crowd for a few seconds and then back inside the ring. Sandy pounds away and Konnan is cut open. Konnan gets sent into the post and we head outside again. Sandman throws a table onto Konnan and the three of them (table included) head back inside.

Sandman can’t superplex Konnan through the table and is thrown through it himself. Woman slaps Konnan, allowing Sandman to hit him in the head with a kendo stick. Rey Mysterio comes out and hands Konnan a cane of his own. Konnan gets in some shots with the cane but Sandman fires back. They both collapse and Woman pulls Sandman to his feet to beat the ten count (which should have ended when he was on his feet) and win the match.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t all that impressed here and the ending hurt it a lot. The other problem here was that with it being known that Konnan was leaving, he wasn’t a threat to take the title at all. Also this was before Sandman really had developed the limited in ring skills he would acquire, so this was a lot more of a fight than anything else. Nothing to see here but Konnan’s submissions weren’t bad.

Sabu vs. Stevie Richards

Richards slips getting into the ring and falls on his face. He also has a bad arm coming into this. Richards runs to start and throws in a chair. Yeah, throw a chair to Sabu. Joey agrees with me, saying that it’s like handing a chainsaw to Leatherface. Sabu has enough of the standing around so he hits a suicide dive to take over. Back inside and Sabu hooks a chinlock but Stevie powerbombs him out of the corner to take over.

Sabu will have none of that and comes back with a slingshot flipping legdrop. Off to an armbar of all things but it only lasts a few seconds. Richards is placed on the top rope and with the help of a chair, Sabu “hits” Air Sabu to knock him to the floor. Sabu slams him to the floor and both guys are down. Richards gets sent into the railing and Sabu sets up a table. Blue Meanie saves Stevie and we head back inside.

Sabu gets caught in an electric chair position but he rolls Richards over the top and out to the floor. This show needs to hurry up and end because it’s REALLY dragging badly now. Richards head fakes Sabu and the crazy one goes through the table. That would be the crazy one Sabu in case you were confused. Meanie gets in a kick on Sabu and they head inside again. Stevie drops a top rope punch for two as we see that he’s not the best on offense.

A Frankensteiner gets two for Sabu and both guys are spent. Richards is sent to the floor and Sabu finally dives over the top with a slingshot rana onto Meanie. Richards gets a horribly botched one of his own from Sabu and the guy in the bright yellow pants takes over again. Richards is placed on a table but Meanie makes the save.

Paul E of all people comes out to beat up Meanie and Sabu hits a dive through Richards through the table. Back inside and that only gets two as this match just keeps going. Richards rolls him up for two and hits the Stevie Kick for another two. A Sabu DDT gets the same and it’s chair time again. Sabu goes up and hits the Atomic Arabian Facebuster (flip leg drop with the chair) to get a pretty anti-climactic pin.

Rating: C-. This just kept going and going and it was only decent to begin with. Sabu would be pushed much harder over the next few months as he would feud with Taz while Richards would somehow get into the world title #1 contenders match at Barely Legal. This wasn’t awful but it dragged a lot which really hurt it.

Public Enemy vs. The Gangstas

This is Public Enemy’s last match before they head to WCW as well. The Public Enemy is Johnny Grunge and Rocco Rock while the Gangstas are Mustafa Saed and New Jack. It’s a big dance party to start before Public Enemy says that they love it here and that this is their house. The fans aren’t sure if they want to chant “you’ll be back” or “you sold out”. Now Jack runs his mouth about WCW and Harlem Heat and all that jazz. Sensational Sherri is a ho apparently.

It’s a big brawl to start and did you really expect anything else? Jack immediately busts grunge open and beats on him with what looks like a whip. Rock and Saed get back in and Rock is choked with something. An iron, as in the thing you get wrinkles out with, is brought in and goes upside Rock’s head. Now it goes onto Jack’s head for two. Public Enemy takes over and we’ve got a lot of blood already.

Grunge DDTs Mustafa for no cover before sending him to the floor. Mustafa is put on the tbale and there’s a big flip dive by Rock through Mustafa through said table. We go into the crowd with Grunge hammering away on Jack. Mustafa busts out a spinning toe hold on Rocco of all things but gets caught in a small package for two. Jack piledrives Grunge on the floor and goes up onto a balcony for a splash. This is just mindless violence at this point.

A loaf of bread is used as a weapon. I hope it was white because if you bring in whole wheat…..I don’t even want to think of that kind of carnage. They head back to ringside as we have a pie used. Rock is placed on a table in the ring and Saed hits a Vader Bomb through it, allowing Grunge to cover Saed for two. Everyone gets back inside now and it’s time for another table.

Jack and Grunge head to the floor again and a can of soda is used upside Jack’s head. Rock moonsaults Saed through the table but can’t cover. Saed suplexes Rock down but Grunge comes in to beat on him. A reverse DDT by Grunge sets up a modified Swanton Bomb from Rock (The Drive By) for the pin on Saed to send Public Enemy out on a high note.

Rating: D+. This was ECW’s signature stuff: mindless violence and destruction. This isn’t my taste but the fans in Philly ate it up. Speaking of eating, what was with all the food used in this match? Did a bakery open up in the ECW Arena that I wasn’t told about? Either way this wasn’t awful but it was what it was: a big brawl which is how Public Enemy should have gone out.

Rock thanks the fans and invites everyone into the ring for one last dance to end the show. They would be back in about three years.

Overall Rating: D. This certainly wasn’t the worst ECW show I’ve ever seen, but it felt like one of the longest. The good stuff here does exist but at the same time a lot of these matches went on WAY longer than they needed to, namely Sabu vs. Richards. This was also a show where you could see a lot of transition for ECW, as a ton of people were leaving but a lot of big names were arriving, such as RVD and the returning Shane Douglas. Not the worst ECW show ever, but it’s just not my taste at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on TNN
Date: November 19, 1999
Location: Broome County Arena, Binghamton, New York
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

Back for another week as I can’t believe it’s already the middle of November and that I’m somehow almost 1/5 of the way through this entire series. We’re getting closer to Guilty As Charges which is still about seven weeks away. This show was taped after the previous PPV though so at least we should be able to get some fallout from that show. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Joel do their intro but here’s Rhyno. Rhyno says that he and Credible are challenging for the titles tonight but he doesn’t like Credible. Gee there’s a new idea. Tonight Rhyno is going to beat up Dreamer and Raven on his own.

Rhyno is in the back and Tammy Sytch offers sex for something not mentioned.

Opening sequence.

Jerry Lynn vs. Super Crazy

Nice to them them following up on last week’s angle. The Baldies are waiting for New Jack at the subway. The other Baldies are in a loser leaves ECW match tonight against Rotten and Mahoney. Back to the actual match at hand as Jerry starts fast and sends Crazy to the floor. A big dive takes Crazy out and they head back inside. Crazy tries a moonsault out of the corner ala Daniel Bryan but he doesn’t quite clear Lynn. A backbreaker gets two on Lynn who still has bad ribs.

A powerbomb gets the same but the American hits a German on the Mexican for two. Lynn hits a tornado DDT out of the corner for two and Crazy is in trouble. Jerry goes up but gets shoved off the top and down through a table, which gets two back in the ring. Triple moonsaults get two as Lynn’s ribs are in big trouble. Piledriver gets two as does a brainbuster. Corino runs in with Tajiri and the referee takes some Mist. Tajiri hits a brainbuster on Crazy to put both guys down. Lynn rolls over and gets the pin on Crazy.

Rating: C+. For some reason I liked this. It was fast paced and while the ending was kind of out of nowhere, it fits with the story from last week which is a big improvement over a lot of the stuff you get on here. These guys worked well together but then again I like Lynn a lot which has a lot to do with it.

The Baldies are still waiting at the subway and go New Jack hunting. They want New Jack.

Corino thinks he’s blind and sends Jack Victory to get help. He comes back with Sinister Minister (James Mitchell) who slaps his chest and “heals” him. Victory says that just cost him a million bucks. Minister lights up a cigarette and says it’s better than managing Mortis and Wrath.

Da Baldies vs. Balls Mahoney/Axl Rotten

This is joined in progress for the sake of the previous segment. Whoever loses the fall is gone from ECW. This would be PN News and Vito for the Baldies. Balls beats on the fat man News in the ring but gets taken down by a clothesline. Axl moves him out of the way of a News splash and a double chair shot takes down both Baldies. Mahoney superkicks Vito down and the Nutcracker Suite (sitout powerslam) pins Vito to send him to WCW. This was short and nothing.

Corino and Victory go looking for Rhyno and find him with Tammy and Candido. Candido is his partner for tonight now.

Gertner is very proud of Rhyno in a funny bit.

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Back to the subway or L train or whatever it is. The Baldies challenge New Jack to a New York street fight anywhere.

Tag Titles: Chris Candido/Rhyno vs. Raven/Tommy Dreamer

After the intros, we cut to the back where Danny Doring and Roadkill complain about being passed over for a title shot. Of note is that his chick Miss Congeniality has gone to WWF, only to be replaced by Elektra. Back in the arena Corino says he didn’t like being punched in the face by a referee. He demands restitution in the form of the tag titles. Dreamer punches him in the face and we’re ready to go.

Dreamer and Candido get us going with both guys missing enziguris. It’s a standoff as we take a break. Back with Candido pounding away on Dreamer but getting caught in a Russian legsweep. Off to Raven so the champs can hit a double gordbuster for no cover. Out to the floor and Raven gets double teamed down, but Dreamer hands him a weapon to fight out of it.

Everyone goes into the crowd and Raven drives Rhyno through a table back at ringside. Candido throws Dreamer off the apron and onto the concrete as Raven plays cheerleader. Things settle down again and Rhyno hits a spinebuster on Dreamer for two. A Gore puts Dreamer down but it only gets two as Bird Boy makes the save. A delayed vertical suplex gets two for Candido on Dreamer.

Chris loads up the Blonde Bombshell (superbomb) but Dreamer backdrops him down. Rhyno hits a powerbomb out of the corner to take Tommy down but Dreamer makes the tag anyway. Rhyno misses a Gore so that it hits Candido. Drop toehold puts Rhyno face first into the chair for two as everything breaks down. Tammy hits Dreamer low to break up the Death Valley Driver and it’s time for a catfight. Dreamer hits a DDT out of nowhere on Candido for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty decent ECW main event tag. Rhyno and Candido were clearly just a filler team but they made the most of it, which can take a boring match like this and make it a decent one. This was fine for a TV main event, especially when you don’t have the big time team there for whatever reason.

Post match Corino and Victory join in for a four on one beatdown of the champions. Sandman finally comes in for the save. Raven jumps Sandman and Dreamer is caught in the middle again. Dreamer winds up getting caned in the head and the Impact Players run in for the big beatdown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a more entertaining show than last week, mainly because of the main event. The Lynn match was good too so I don’t have many complaints about the in ring part of this show. That being said, has Mike Awesome vanished or something? The guy is the world champion but he hasn’t been on the show in weeks. This was a better show than ECW has had in weeks though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on TNN
Date: November 12, 1999
Location: Hara Arena, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re past November to Remember now and for the most part nothing has happened. The Impact Players and Rhyno won the main event which meant nothing at all. Other than that RVD is still TV Champion and Awesome is still world champion as well. It’s time to build to Guilty As Charged which at least had some bigger matches on it. I’m not sure what’s going on tonight so let’s get to it.

The Impact Players arrive but Jason says Sandman is on the warpath. Rhyno pops up and says he’s not worried about Sandman because he’ll Gore him in half.

Opening sequence.

Joey runs down the card and plugs the website, which has a lot of stuff about the PPV apparently.

Dreamer is sitting in a bathroom and imitates Raven. Apparently Raven is just like all of us rather than being all hurt and disturbed. Raven wants to destroy Dreamer, but what can he put Dreamer through that he hasn’t been through already? Dreamer busts himself open by ramming his head into a wall.

Jerry Lynn vs. Steve Corino

Corino says the thing that bothers him the most are people that refuse to wrestle hurt. He has a bad appendix but has been wrestling for months now. Jerry has bad ribs here but he runs over the manager Corino is here. They quickly head to the floor with Corino being sent into the barricade and then into a chair. The “injured” Jack Victory gets up but a low blow puts him down. It does however allow Corino to get in a chair shot to the bad ribs followed by a backbreaker for no cover. Corino charges into a boot and Lynn hits a tornado DDT to take over. Cradle Piledriver hits and we’re done. Too short to rate but it was fine.

Tajiri runs in post match and Mists Lynn. Super Crazy runs in for the save but the blind Lynn goes after Crazy for a bit, which goes nowhere.

Cyrus says TNN is happy with Joey on commentary but they don’t care for Gertner at all. This would go on for MONTHS. Apparently Gertner has heat with the boys and gets himself over at the expense of the boys. My goodness every word he says could apply to Cole today. What’s Cyrus doing today anyway? Joel went too far when he went at Taz (Joel got choked out from behind) at the PPV so there’s going to be a meeting about Joel’s future.

Gertner is stunned.

Buy the November To Remember replay!

Post break Joel begs the cameraman to spread some good words about him. This is supposed to be a parody of the WWF corporate structure I think but it’s missing badly.

Buy the November To Remember replay!

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

They go to the mat for their usual fast paced sequence. Tajiri armdrags him down and it’s headscissors a go-go. It’s a standoff so they head to the floor with Tajiri hitting a huge dive over the top. They head into the crowd with Crazy taking over with a clothesline. Crazy dives out of a balcony and they head back to ringside. Tajiri sends him into the barricade and we go back inside.

A sunset flip is countered by Crazy but Tajiri reverses the counter into the Tarantula. Crazy shrugs that off and hooks a surfboard with a dragon sleeper. Brainbuster by Tajiri is broken up but the triple moonsault hits knees. Jerry Lynn runs in to attack Tajiri but Crazy goes after Jerry as well. A Cradle Piledriver to Crazy is followed by a standing moonsault from Tajiri for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a pretty wild brawl which is pretty unnecessary when you have guys that work together like these two do. The ending doesn’t make a lot of sense as Crazy saved Lynn earlier but they fought here. Crazy went after Lynn first too, but why would he do that? Because of the blind attack earlier? If Crazy was watching the match and knew that Lynn needed a save, wouldn’t he have known that Lynn was blinded? See why this year was bad for the company overall?

Rhyno vs. Sandman

Actually scratch that as we go to Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney in the back who talk about beating up the Baldies. They’re in a bathroom and the Baldies jump out of the stalls to beat them down. You didn’t miss any of the match as that was all during Sandman’s entrance. Rhyno immediately gores him down and Corino steals the cane. A powerslam gets two and Rhyno yells at the fans. Sandman gets sent to the floor and then into the barricade to make it a matching set.

The drunk takes over by sending Rhyno into the steel and they go back inside. Why would Sandy want to go back into the ring? You see new stuff every day. The Heinken-rana (yes that’s really what it’s called) hits but Rhyno comes back with a powerslam for two. Rhyno misses a Swan Dive onto a chair and it’s a White Russian for Corino. Sandman canes Rhyno down and here’s Credible to cane Sandman. The match is thrown out somewhere in here.

Rating: D+. The fans liked it but this was much more of a brawl than a match. This was Sandman’s return from an injury so you can’t really blame him much for being out of rhythm. Then again that might be due to near alcohol poisoning but that goes without saying. There wasn’t much here but it was fun for the live crowd.

Dreamer comes out for the second save but Storm comes in and beats him down too. Raven is watching in the back and finally runs in for the save. Sandman destroys Raven for past hatreds until Dreamer takes him down.

Raven wants to know why he got beaten up after he did the right thing. He says Dreamer let the drunk beat him up like his dad did when he was seven. Raven cries while saying he did the right thing over and over to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was barely a fallout from November to Remember as almost nothing on that show was mentioned. To be fair, that probably has to do with this show being taped before the PPV happened but that’s no excuse. It makes for a dull TV show because it’s basically a throwaway episode due to the taping schedule. Then again the next PPV was in about two months so they had some to throw away.

Since I screwed up the previous review’s link, here’s November to Remember if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/07/26/november-to-remember-1999-another-six-man-main-event/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on TNN
Date: November 5, 1999
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

It’s the last show before November to Remember and I’m sure we’ll get some more matches thrown on here, or at least some more talked about. If I remember right a lot of the matches would often be added on the night of the show. I can’t believe that we’ve only got eleven months to go with this entire show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of a house show tag title match with Raven/Dreamer defending against the Impact Players. There was a catfight (duh) and Rhyno ran in to take down Dreamer, revealing himself as the mystery partner of the Impact Players. Raven tried to DDT him but Credible destroyed him with a Singapore cane.

The Players hit stereo piledrivers and covered but the lights went out and Sandman made the save, setting up the six man tag. After waiting for his song to play for a few minutes he came down and caned everyone in a fairly col sequence. Dreamer and Sandman have a beer together. This is Sandman’s return from WCW.

Opening sequence.

Joey runs down the PPV card.

The Baldies are in the ring and says there are two things they don’t have: hair and patience. They want Axl and Balls to prove who the real Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks are.

Axl Rotten/Balls Mahoney vs. The Baldies

The guys with hair clear the ring until Skull (Big Vito) gets in Balls’ face. PN News and New Jack run in and make the save for the heel and then face side respectively. Carnage ensues and this wasn’t a real match. Angel staple guns New Jack in the eye and everyone panics.

After a break, Rotten/Mahoney vs. The Baldies is made for the PPV.

We run down the PPV card again.

The Baldies say they’re the new kings of the street instead of New Jack.

Little Guido vs. Spike Dudley vs. Super Crazy

Spike has a female fan in the crowd and Guido gets in her face. Then he stomps on her glasses until Spike goes off on him to get us going. Crazy gets involved and we take a break. Back with the Acid Drop being countered into a Fujiwara Armbar by Guido. Guido gets sent to the floor by Crazy so Spike can dive onto him. This is one of those matches that’s going so fast you can’t keep track of everything in it.

Everyone goes into the crowd for more brawling with Guido taking over again. They go to the ringside area inside the barricade before Spike puts Crazy into the crowd again and hits a rana. Back in finally and Spike dives into another Fujiwara Armbar but he makes the rope. The shoulder goes into the post and Big Sal sets up a table. Spike manages to Acid Drop him through said table as this is one of the biggest messes I’ve seen in years. Spike comes back in but walks into the Tomikaze (jumping Killswitch) for a quick pin.

This is elimination though so Crazy grabs a quick German suplex on Guido for two. Standing moonsault gets the same. Crazy does the ten punches in the corner and of course the crowd counts in Spanish. Guido counters a headscissors into a facejam out of the corner to take over. A top rope legdrop gets two and Guido is ticked off. A brainbuster is countered into a DDT for two for Crazy. Triple moonsault is broken up by Sal so the third one only hits knees. Crazy’s brainbuster gets two followed by a sitout powerbomb for the pin.

Rating: C-. I’m really not a fan of these wild fast paced matches. They’re going too fast to keep up with and while they’re fun, there’s too much going on at at once and it gets distracting. The stuff in the crowd was a nightmare because you couldn’t keep track of what was going on. Once they got in the ring and started wrestling it was a lot better, but this was still too much of a mess.

Van Dam isn’t worried about Taz because Taz is just jealous. When Taz was world champion, people were talking about the TV Champion. When did anyone tell Taz that one of his four minute title defenses were the match of the year? That’s painful because it’s true.

Simon Diamond has Dick Hertz with him.

Doring is sad because Lita is gone. They’re playing the Pulp Fiction music so we’re not going to see another match tonight are we? Doring says where he’ll be staying tonight if any women want to come make him feel better.

Fonzie tells Candido to bring it to Sabu.

Simon and Dick make fun of Buffalo.

Jerry Lynn is ready for his three way dance on Sunday.

The Baldies tell New Jack it could have been worse.

Simon warns people about his Big Dick.

Corino says his team will win and they’re not worried about Sandman.

Raven doesn’t want Sandman on his team.

The Impact Players want the titles.

Raven wants to hurt Credible.

Credible says his catchphrase.

Raven would rather let his mother die than lose to Justin.

Overall Rating: D. I get what they’re going for with these promo marathons, but they don’t make for good TV. Literally the last ten minutes of 45 they have to air are nothing but people talking. That isn’t interesting and it could have easily been used for a quick match or even two quick matches. At the end of the day, just wrestle. It’ll work most of the time.

Here’s November to Remember if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/07/26/november-to-remember-1999-another-six-man-main-event/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

November to Remember 1999
Date: November 7, 1999
Location: Burt Flickinger Center, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Cyrus, Joey Styles

Well it’s another of ECW’s Wrestlemanias here as we close out this millennium. The main event tonight is another tag match rather than a world title match or something stupid like that. This time it’s Rhino, Credible and Storm vs. Sandman, Raven and Dreamer. Oh how ready I am for this.

Awesome vs. Tanaka is happening….again. RVD vs. Taz….not a regular match but I have no desire to watch them fight since Taz is practically in WWF already. This looks like anything but a major show but with ten PPVs left in the company’s history I can’t complain much. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Cyrus open us up of course with Cyrus telling the smart marks to rejoice. Gertner interrupts him of course. And here’s Taz. Wasn’t he supposed to like, go to WWF? The fans think he sold out. Apparently Taz is looking for Joey. What the heck is going on? Apparently Joey never called Taz.

Ah ok Joey thinks Taz Pearl Harbored RVD by jumping him from behind. Taz interprets this as Joey wanting to fight him, prompting a F HIM UP JOEY chant! Oh that’s priceless. This is seriously cracking me up. Taz is full heel here. Joey being taller than Taz is funny. Taz complaining about someone laughing at him is funny given his current commentary style. Taz twists every word around and Joey just keeps digging himself deeper and deeper and it’s great stuff.

Joey FINALLY bails as the chant starts again. Gertner makes the mistake of smiling and you can tell his life is measured in seconds. Tazmission and he’s down. The fans really don’t like him, but that’s because he’s leaving I think. DAng he should have been heel and just choked people out a long time ago. He and Cyrus shake hands to prove he’s evil.

Theme song hits. Make your own John Cena references there.

Have to give them this: that song was AWESOME.

Simon Diamond and Dick Hertz are here. Yep the gay jokes abound. Dick slapping himself doesn’t help. Oh and Dick gets to slide. And here’s Jazz. She slaps him and Dick beats her up. Simon tells his giant to kill her. That’s close enough to Giant Killer for Spike to hit the ring.

Simon Diamond vs. Spike Dudley

Spike’s offense was more or less comprised of nothing but bumping and the Acid Drop. Oh and the occasional forearm. We’re on the floor already and Spike hits a chair shot off the top. Spike takes a short beating but then an Acid Drop ends it.

Rating: N/A. More of a long brawl than a match. Just a thing to kill time before we get to the, ahem, real stuff.

And the FBI hit the ring almost immediately and pound on Spike. Nova comes out to beat various people up as we hear about how much people imitate him. Nova is more commonly known as Simon Dean in case you didn’t know that. This is a match I think.

Nova vs. Little Guido

No clue when this actually started but whatever. Cyrus says Guido has one fatal flaw and them naturally lists two things. Guido more or less goes to the top with his back to Nova and stands there. He doesn’t get ready to do anything. He doesn’t look around or anything like that. He just stands there and gets low blowed. This leads to a Samoan Drop from the top.

It should be noted that 90% of Joey’s commentary here is talking about how no one comes up with more moves than Nova and how he’s the real “Innovator of Offense”, which was Kanyon’s nickname at the time. Literally as he’s saying that, Nova uses the Samoan Drop from the top, which was Kanyon’s finisher like two years before this. That’s just amusing.

Big Sal comes in and Nova beats him up pretty easily. A Tomakaze (Unprettier) ends it. Post match they beat up Nova some more but Chris Chetti comes back to make the save. Danny Doring and Roadkill come out and beat up Chetti. This is the biggest mess of a show I’ve ever seen. Roadkill does hit a GREAT splash from the top rope.

Rating: D. Short but long enough to be an actual grade, but still this was just bad. Half of the match was just the announcers complaining about Nova being copied by so many people. This was short and not very good though. And what a shock, more filler on an ECW PPV that means nothing at all.

Super Crazy vs. Tajiri vs. Jerry Lynn

None of those guys were announced. I just knew them once Joey said Extreme Three Way Dance. And I’m completely right. That’s not a good sign. Like not a good sign AT ALL. Did Jack Victory ever actually do anything? Tajiri has Corino and Victory with him here. Seriously I still can’t get over how different Corino used to look. He looks like Richards almost.

Corino runs down Crazy and Lynn, pointing out how many times he’s beaten Crazy. Yeah that’s a great thing to point out: we know you’ve seen this a bunch but just watch it again! Also, great to see Jerry this far down on the card and in a totally pointless match. Lynn and Crazy start us off and do perhaps the fastest sequence I have ever seen. I mean they were FLYING out there.

Both guys get Tarantulas. And of course we go to the crowd. Crazy…kind of hits a huge moonsault from a balcony. I emphasize the words kind of. Sweet goodness Lynn and Crazy are fast. Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver on Crazy but for some reason Tajiri makes the save. That doesn’t make much sense. Ah ok he wants to use the Brainbuster to get the elimination himself. That makes sense in a way.

In a smart moment Tajiri reverses a tombstone but turns it into a backbreaker because Lynn has bad ribs. Smart. I love smart wrestlers. Tajiri goes for them again but he just absorbs them all and is like come here and piledrives him for the pin. He beats up Corino afterwards.

Rating: B-. Fast paced and fun, but I ask this: what does this prove? I mean seriously, it’s ANOTHER cruiserweight threeway. Good for them. What are they actually getting out of this? It makes no sense but whatever as it’s probably the best wrestling we’ll get all night.

We talk about Da Baldies who are the new Italian gang.

We see Angel using a staplegun on New Jack’s eye.

Da Baldies vs. Axl Rotten/Balls Mahoney/New Jack

Let’s get this over with. There are four Baldies: Spanish Angel, DeVito, PN News and Vito. Vito is the same Vito from WCW and WWE. You might remember him for wearing a dress. Naturally it’s a lot of punching and chairs and no New Jack yet. Ah here he is. There goes any quality the show had going for it. Seriously, why am I watching a guy slam a vacuum into a keyboard over a guy’s balls?

Rotten goes and gets a ladder for no apparent reason other than I guess he didn’t get beaten up enough already. New Jack goes to help him. This is all going on which their partner is getting the heck beaten out of him. Jack climbs up behind a banner which is covering a basketball backboard.

Yep he dives off of it. I still don’t care about him. New Jack busts Vito over the head with an SNES. Ok then. Vito’s head get his head stapled. And a guitar is cracked over New Jack’s head for the pin.

Rating: F+. Seriously, am I supposed to be impressed or to care or something? It’s the same idiotic brawling and mindless violence that it always is. Is there supposed to be a point to anything like this? Again, New Jack is the epitome of everything that was wrong with ECW.

Alfonso says Sabu is going to go do what he does best. This is a really different kind of promo. He’s fighting Candido. Apparently his best friend died. Not sure who Ticho is.

Chris Candido vs. Sabu

Yep she still looks great. They had been in WCW for awhile and no one cared so here they are again. If Sabu is suicidal, why is he still alive? We get a punching contest to start and Cyrus gets a creepy line. “These are two guys that would probably die without the wrestling business.” For those that don’t know, Candido died after breaking his leg at a TNA PPV. There was a blood clot or something like that.

The fans want tables, but I hope we don’t get them. When Sabu doesn’t do all kinds of crazy stuff with weapons etc, he’s far more bearable. And just as I say that we get a chair. Yep it’s table time. I guess it was inevitable. Surprisingly it’s just used as a platform and no one goes through it. Well so far at least. If they save it for the end or something like that, I can live with that relatively easily.

Table is in the ring. This isn’t much so far but it’s more of a slow build which is fine. Candido goes through a table as he misses Sabu. Sabu gets the camel clutch but only with one arm up as the fans chant show your chest. And that’s why the crowds get annoying. Sabu jumps into the crowd and you still can’t see the impact. Why would that be important though?

Sweet merciful goodness ECW’s camera work was awful. While the weapons have been used here, they haven’t been the focal point of the match. Sabu hooks the camel clutch for like the third time in the match. I like that as it’s constantly weakening the back. Candido goes through his second table but it just gets two. This is ok but it’s just not that interesting.

There’s something missing from it which is hard to put into words. Candido’s power bombs were always decent. Candido looks pretty sharp here but the idea that he never went to WCW is kind of amusing to me. The problem is that Candido is running out of stuff to do so he’s starting to repeat stuff.

In a STUPID looking spot, Candido is put on a table but Sunny (yes I know her name is Tammy) goes for the save. Alfonso grabs her and Candido saves her. Then, with no one on the table, he leans over it so Sabu can dive on him. Looked stupid. After an Arabian Facebuster to the back, a camel clutch ends it.

Rating: C+. Not terrible or anything here but there was just something missing from it. It worked as well as it could have I think. Sabu toned things down here to an extent and it worked far better. Candido was a guy that was always solidly in the midcard but never jumped above it. Either way though, this was ok.

Tanaka says he’ll win. This was stupid.

Awesome says he’ll win. This was just bad.

The announcers talk about the world title match and about how Tanaka has the advantage over Awesome.

We see a segment from earlier with Heyman where everyone gets fired. Ah it’s not Paul. It’s Lou E. Dangerously, more commonly known as Sign Guy Dudley. This would have been funnier had the main event introductions not have been heard in the background.

ECW World Title: Masato Tanaka vs. Mike Awesome

This is always fun. Joey tells us to keep our eye on Tanaka. It’s a bit hard to do that given how bad the camera stuff is. Tanaka hits his running chair shot which is always a nice shot. Awesome busts out a Taker Dive that looked great. Joey tries to make fun of Hogan by saying he never leaves his feet anymore. When did he do that in the first place? Cyrus busts out the word troglodytes. That’s my boy.

Awesome hits an INSANE chair shot from the top rope and it doesn’t even put Tanaka down. WOW. They just start crashing each other’s heads in with the chair and it looks great. These matches would go so far beyond ridiculous that they were awesome. Tornado DDT on the chair gets two. Awesome counters the second one though to stay alive.

Awesome hits more or less a Batista Bomb from the apron through a table to the floor. See what I’m talking about? Holy crap is very accurate here. Naturally it only gets two. Back in, Tanaka gets a superplex through the table. Nice one too. Diamond Dust, a Dragon Sleeper from the second rope flipped over into a Stunner doesn’t even get a cover. Uh, any reason why not? A HUGE Awesome Splash gets two. The kickouts here are amusing. FINALLY a superbomb from the top ends it.

Rating: B+. Again, this is a different kind of match. These are designed to be closer to a Japanese strong style and it works very well. At the end it’s nothing but finishers and big power moves and it’s pure fun. Again, you flat out can’t take this one seriously and you absolutely shouldn’t. Pure fun and they work every time.

TV Title: Taz vs. Rob Van Dam

Oh Paulie. My sweet little Paulie. If this had been about a year earlier and for the world title and not the TV Title, you could have legitimately been around another year or even two. THIS was the money match that he just totally passed on because Shane just HAD to carry the belt an extra six months while Taz killed the rest of the roster.

RVD is of course the most over guy in the company so he never won the world title. Brilliant indeed Paul. But he, we got that Justin Credible run that we all were begging for right? They build it up as a clash of the titans even though there is NO WAY Taz is winning here. This is as much of a slam dunk as you could ask for.

Taz’s accomplishment takes forever to list off. Again, why not jump Van Dam when he’s doing his intros? They flat out say Taz is going to New York after this. Seriously, what’s the point to having this? They do a long back and forth segment to start and RVD poses. We get a LOT of strikes so far. It’s kind of dull but not bad I guess. Van Dam is REALLY BAD at whispering spots to Taz. It’s kind of pathetic.

We brawl on the floor for a bit and this whole thing is just lacking. They’re just going through the motions and it’s really obvious. Taz sets a table in the corner. We get some really bad looking stuff in an attempt at the Van Daminator and RVD gets suplexed through the table. Can you feel my enthusiasm here? Van Daminator hits from the top.

Good thing Taz put the chair in front of his face like he did or that wouldn’t have worked. Taz goes for a head and arms suplex off the top and Van Dam just falls off the top. Nothing more than that: he just fell. I guess everybody screws up now and then, but the match sucking isn’t helping. Five Star ends it with no drama anywhere in sight.

Rating: D. Seriously, this was boring. It should have headlined the biggest show ever for the company and have gotten RVD the world title but instead it’s another defense for RVD in a match with zero heat on it because no one believed Taz would win. The match was just bad too with blown spots and contrived looking stuff all over the place. Not the worst match ever, but completely underwhelming on all levels. The bad grade is more for the disappointment than anything else.

With NO transition, it’s main event time.

Rhyno/Justin Credible/Lance Storm vs. Sandman/Tommy Dreamer/Raven

Literally, we see RVD celebrating and then Rhyno’s music is playing. At least we get to look at Dawn Marie. Francine comes out in a bikini. Ok then. Raven and Dreamer are tag champions at this point. Sandman’s entrance effectively kills five minutes of the show. Why is this a big match? Not important. Why are they fighting? Not important. Why are these people teaming together? Not important.

Actually, I don’t think any of these feuds/matches have been explained. Not important I guess. So with like 5 minutes, the heels don’t bother jumping Raven and Dreamer at all. Brilliant there guys. It’s a good sign when you can walk around for the length of Enter Sandman. We’re already past the prayer. Tommy has a case around hits elbow. Wasn’t he supposed to retire?

We kill more time by doing entrances. Seriously nearly fifteen minutes have passed since the end of the previous match. Hey it’s a bell and we’re going to get a match! Sandman vs. Rhyno start us off since Justin makes a fast tag when he sees who is starting for the faces. And we stall. Raven won’t tag Dreamer. The showdown here is Sandman vs. Credible but we don’t get it yet due to Credible running.

Credible had allegedly run Sandman out of ECW to WCW where he sucked for the most part. We actually have something close to a wrestling match for a little bit. You can tell this is the super show. Storm vs. Sandman is a weird pairing to say the least. I’m not sure if Rhyno had the Gore or not yet. Raven punches Dreamer to get the hot tag.

Apparently he does have the Gore as he uses a bad one on Raven. Yep it’s a big brawl. They lasted all of 7 minutes without one. That has to be a record for a main event here. DDT to Credible gets two. Raven and Dreamer working together is weird and just as I say that Raven drop toe holds him into a chair. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT! The Gore hits Storm and Sandman has a cane.

The girls go at it for a bit. Dawn isn’t wearing underwear. Nice. Raven possibly accidentally canes Sandman and Credible hits the Tombstone for the pin. Raven didn’t make the save though. That’s how it ends? Also Joey is SHOCKED that Raven would be a heel. Uh why? That’s the end of the show mind you. Well that and the 4 minutes of highlights. Show ended after two and a half hours for all intents and purposes.

Rating: F+. This is the main event of the biggest show of the year and it doesn’t even break ten minutes? This felt like a total filler match and nothing more. Does this actually change anything? Raven is a bad guy. Is this supposed to be like surprising or something? Seriously, why was this on last? With RVD and Taz at least it would have felt huge. This feels like just another match. I have no idea what Heyman was thinking back then, but it couldn’t have been coherent.

OverallRating: D. Again, how in the world is this supposed to be the main show of the year? It felt like it was missing about thirty minutes. The opening half hour is a massive mess and Taz being ticked off, the two more hardcore matches are forgettable at their best with Sabu and Candido being ok at best, the title matches had nothing of note at all, and the main event was entirely lackluster.

Tell me: what is different after this show? Nothing at all has changed. Tanaka would take the title from Awesome around Christmas on television only to drop it back six days later. This show is just totally lacking any kind of special feeling to it and it would for any kind of PPV, not just a mega show like this. Take a pass here, but it’s not terrible I guess.

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ECW on TNN
Date: October 29, 2006
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

It’s another show before November to Remember and most of the card hasn’t been fleshed out at all. To be fair though they’re still getting the hang of this national TV thing and most of their audience (in theory) was watching Hardcore TV which is where a lot of the show was likely being hyped. I’m not sure what to expect from this show as I can’t find a card for it so this should be surprising at least. Let’s get to it.

After the theme song, Joel and Joey do their usual intro.

Taz vs. Sabu

That’s quite the opener. These two are the only grand slam winners in company history, if you count the FTW Title as a championship. They slug it out to start with Sabu taking a small advantage. We head to the floor and both guys get whipped into the barricade. Sabu sets up a table between the ring and the barricade and we take a break. Back with Sabu hitting a DDT on Taz on the ramp.

They fight on the ramp with Taz taking over with more right hands. Back inside the ring and Sabu dropkicks the knee out. The slingshot side kick gets two and both guys are down. There’s the camel clutch but Taz escapes pretty easily. Another kick is countered into a release German Tazplex to change the momentum. Taz goes up but gets caught in a rana off the top for two.

Fonzie helps to bring in a table and the fans are a lot more excited now. Now we get a chair too but the Triple Jump Moonsault is broken up. Sabu kicks the legs out from Taz when he’s about to swing a chair. A powerbomb is countered into an Alabama Slam through the table by Taz but Sabu grabs the rope. Taz goes up and misses a Swanton (Yes, Taz just tried that) so Sabu pelts him with a chair and drives him through a table. That gets a delayed two for Sabu and here’s another table. In a pretty simple ending, Sabu puts him on the table and hits an Arabian Facebuster off the top to drive Taz through the table for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match here and I liked it better than their Barely Legal match. This is one of those matches where the history was there (not that ECW would ever give that history to you) so the fans were automatically going to care about it. The ending was a little lackluster, but Taz was on his way out so it made sense for him to go out on his back.

Post match the Impact Players come out but get chased off by Van Dam. Sabu and Van Dam get in a fight and Rob is punched into the Tazmission. It’s Taz vs. Van Dam at the PPV.

We get a clip from Hardcore TV with Lou E. Dangerously bringing back Mikey Whipwreck who got destroyed by Mike Awesome.

Lance Storm vs. Tommy Dreamer

Storm jumps Dreamer as he gets into the ring and Dreamer is in trouble. Dreamer comes back with an atomic low blow and knocks Storm to the floor. They head into the crowd for some shots with a chilled beverage. Back to ringside and Dreamer’s bad back gets suplexed onto the floor. It doesn’t really seem to matter as Dreamer backdrops him into the crowd again. He goes to the back and pulls out a ladder. Sure why not.

A middle rope elbow misses Storm completely and hits the ladder which had to freaking HURT. They head back in and Storm is in complete control. And scratch that as Dreamer whips him into the ladder and hits the Dreamer Driver for two. The girls get in and break it up with a catfight, allowing Raven to run in and DDT Dreamer so Storm can get the pin.

Rating: D. This can barely be classified as a wrestling match. It was a fight and a pretty sloppy one at that. Dreamer was incredibly popular in ECW, but he was never a ring general or even a sergeant. This didn’t work for the most part as Storm because a brawl isn’t his style at all. I didn’t like this one at all.

The Impact Players beat down Raven as well until Dreamer makes the save.

We recap the whole Dreamer/Raven vs. Impact Players feud.

Raven yells at Dreamer, saying that Tommy is a leech and a degenerate. For some reason Dreamer stands there and lets Raven beat him up before Tommy DDTs him and yells a lot.

Nova says he’s dedicating every match he wrestles to Chris Chetti, his injured partner.

Nova/David Cash vs. The Baldies

No match as Doring/Roadkill jump Nova while the Baldies beat up Cash. Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten make the save for no apparent reason. They argue over hitting Lita with a chair but Jazz comes out and does it for them.

We get a bit of a dance party to Big Balls until Joey glares at Gertner. Joey previews next week’s show and talks about someone jumping from WCW next week.

Raven talks about all the misery he’s going to put Dreamer through and all the misery the Impact Players are going to go through as well. No matter what Justin does, he’ll never be as big as Raven.

Overall Rating: C-. These shows are reaching the point where we have coherent stories on them, which is a major upgrade. The main story is clearly Dreamer/Raven vs. the Impact Players, which would be most of the main event at November to Remember. The wrestling here was pretty bad but they were setting up the PPV which is something they needed to do. Also this show went by quickly so I can’t complain as much.

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ECW on TNN
Date: October 22, 1999
Location: Alario Sports Center, West Wago, Louisiana
Attendance: 2000
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

We’re getting closer to November To Remember and we’ve got a few matches set now. For one thing we have the world title match set as Awesome will defend against Tanaka. As for tonight’s show, it’s possible that we’ll see the TNN debut of Sabu. Gee I’m glad they didn’t wait awhile to bring in one of their legends or anything. Hopefully it’s a competitive match and they don’t bring in some old name that used to mean something to have him squash like the One Man Gang or something. Let’s get to it.

Joel is in the ring to open things up. Apparently he’s doing the ring announcing for the opener.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. New Jack

New Jack charges in with the weapons and Awesome stands there so he can get beaten on. Awesome fights back but gets bitten for his efforts. There’s a right hand to send the champion into the corner as that infernal song is still playing. Awesome misses a charge and we head to the floor. Jack puts Awesome against the railing and dives at him with a chair but it gets knocked back into Jack’s face.

Mike gets the chair now and takes over. Back into the ring and a top rope clothesline puts Jack down. Vader Bomb “misses” (Jack rolled the wrong way so it hit him anyway) and it’s staple gun time. A guitar shot to the head won’t put Awesome down but Jack jumps into a chair shot. Awesome throws him to the floor and through a table. Back in and the Awesome Splash gets the easy pin.

Rating: D+. If you take away the idea of wrestling from this match, it was pretty entertaining. Since New Jack is about as far from being a professional wrestler as I am, that’s not much of a stretch. This was just a way to pop the crowd before we get to the actual wrestling on the show.

Theme song.

Nova vs. Chris Candido

Gertner makes alcohol jokes about Tammy. They start fast with no one being able to get anything significant in. Candido finally hits him in the face to take over but walks into a backdrop. Flying forearm gets two. Nova is a guy that’s hard to keep up with because he’s not only fast but he does a lot of stuff that no one else did so it’s hard to call the moves. Before anything happens, Doring, Roadkill and Lita run in to beat on Nova for a DQ. This was really short.

Candido comes in to help Nova and we get a Lita vs. Sunny catfight, which I’m sure has been a fantasy for many over the years. After the ring is cleared and only Candido and Sytch are left, here come Storm and Dawn Marie for a distraction so Doring, Lita and Roadkill can come in from behind. Dawn paddles Tammy while Lita holds her. Dawn smacks Lita because she can.

With the ring cleared (again), Dawn calls out Francine who comes out with Dreamer. Storm suggests Dreamer can’t sleep with Francine and it’s on, but Justin runs in to double team Dreamer. Here’s Raven who comes in and then turns his back on the Impact Players. It’s about to be another double team but Dreamer makes the save. Raven DDTs Dreamer because he can.

Post break Dreamer is up and calls out Raven. They square off…..and we go to a break.

Rhyno vs. David Kash

Rhyno jumps him and the beatdown begins quickly. Kash hits a dropkick but gets Gored for two. Piledriver works a bit better and gets the pin for Rhyno. This wasn’t even a minute.

Corino gets on the mic post match and says he wants Sabu out here right now to face Rhyno.

Rhyno vs. Sabu

Sabu beats up Rhyno’s posse before the match as the fans are just NUTS for Sabu. Rhyno takes over and we take a quick break. Back with Sabu being sent to the floor so the cronies can beat him up. Back in the ring and Sabu gets powerbombed off a rana attempt for two. Rhyno throws him to the floor and tries a dive but takes out the other guys instead. The other guys/cronies/the posse are Steve Corino and Jack Victory in case that wasn’t clear.

Sabu puts him in the crowd and hits a HUGE dive to take Rhyno out. Back at ringside and Sabu pelts the chair to put Rhyno down. Fonzie is out here now. There’s a table set up between the ring and the barricade like a platform. Sabu ranas Rhyno off the top and back inside for two as Corino makes the save. Fonzie crotches Corino and Steve takes a rana as well. Sabu goes to put Corino through the table but Rhyno Gores him down.

Instead of covering he grabs a chair and charges but Sabu kicks it into his face for two. The triple jump moonsault is broken up but Sabu takes out Victory anyway. There’s a camel clutch and Rhyno is in trouble. Corino makes the save AGAIN but gets taken out by Fonzie. FONZIE HITS A SLINGSHOT SPLASH!!! That was kind of awesome. Rhyno gets put on the table and Sabu hits a triple jump Arabian Facebuster through Rhyno and through the table to put both guys down.

The fans are, as usual, going insane for Sabu. Joey talks about how you’ll NEVER see Sabu on Raw or Nitro, both of which he’d appear on (Nitro he already had been on but you get the idea). There’s a table in the ring now but Sabu has to take out Victory first. That doesn’t change much as Sabu drives Rhyno through the table for two to shock Joey. Facejam onto the chair gets two. Sabu sets for something off the top on Rhyno but Corino covers him for protection. That’s really stupid to do against Sabu as he jumps on both of them. Arabian Facebuster and the Triple Jump Moonsault finally get the pin.

Rating: C. It was a mess but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it. Sabu is very much a microcosm of ECW: when he’s on he’s good, but when he’s off, OH MAN is he off. The interference got old fast here too. Also, why have Sabu win? Give Rhyno a cheap victory to further his monster push. Sabu is going to be incredibly popular no matter what, so why not?

A three minute music video of what happened in the show ends it. How pointless is that? Ok Sunny bent over in a thong with her face in Lita’s crotch while Dawn Marie spanks her isn’t but the rest is.

Overall Rating: A+. It has Sunny bent over in a thong with her face in Lita’s crotch while Dawn Marie spanks her. What kind of a grade do you think I’m going to give this?

The show is still a mess but the long main event with a big name helped. November to Remember is still mostly unannounced but they’ve got a few weeks left. The show was just ok this week.

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