Royal Rumble – 2021: Nothing Else Matters

Royal Rumble 2021
Date: January 31, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe, Tom Phillips

It’s officially the Road To Wrestlemania and that should only be a good thing. The other major positive this year is how wide open both Rumbles could be, which means we could be in for a lot of drama. Other than that though, it is going to be a bit sad to watch the Rumble with no crowd. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Women’s Tag Team Titles: Asuka/Charlotte vs. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler

Jax and Baszler are challenging and it’s Charlotte grappling with Baszler to start. Charlotte gets the better of things and takes it over to Asuka in the corner for an exchange of kicks with Baszler. Jax and Charlotte come back in with Charlotte driving her into the corner and handing it back to Asuka. That means a running splash in the corner from Jax and Baszler starts pulling on the arm. Asuka fights up and manages a facebuster but Jax is right back with a sitout powerbomb for two.

Baszler comes back in but Asuka gets over for the tag to Charlotte so the pace can pick up. A double Natural Selection drops both challengers and gets two on Baszler. Jax is still down so Baszler hits a hard running knee for two on Charlotte. With Jax and Baszler both on the floor, Charlotte hits a moonsault onto both of them but here’s Ric Flair. Charlotte shrugs off the distraction though and grabs the Figure Eight, only to have Lacey Evans pop up with the Woman’s Right with brass knuckles to knock Charlotte silly. The big leg from Jax finishes Charlotte for the titles at 10:27.

Rating: C. This could have been on any given Raw but I’m getting scared of the idea of building up to a Charlotte vs. Lacey Evans match at Wrestlemania with all of the focus on Ric. The match was acceptable enough, but the important thing was the title change. Charlotte and Asuka never should have been champions and thankfully this mess of a reign ended in about a month.

The opening video looks at some famous Rumble finishes over the years and how this can mean a new beginning for anyone who could win. Not bad at all.

We recap Goldberg vs. Drew McIntyre for the WWE Title. Goldberg made a surprise return at Raw Legends and challenged McIntyre. There isn’t much more to it than that but the key has been that Goldberg returns and wins titles.

Raw World Title: Goldberg vs. Drew McIntyre

McIntyre is defending and a Glasgow Kiss sets up a spear to Goldberg before the bell. They head outside with Goldberg sending him into the steps and there’s a spear through the barricade. McIntyre manages to get back in and the bell rings, with the Claymore hitting for two at about five seconds. Another Claymore misses and the ribs are banged up so Goldberg hits the spear. Another spear connects for two and a not very good Jackhammer gets two on McIntyre (now THAT is something you don’t see very often). Goldberg misses another spear and the Claymore retains the title at 2:32. And there’s the sigh of relief.

Post match respect is shown and Goldberg says McIntyre passed the test.

Sasha Banks says she is going to be celebrating when she drinks the finest champagne of Carmella’s tears.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Carmella

Carmella, with Reginald, is challenging despite having failed to win the title in multiple previous title shots. An early Bank Statement attempt sends Carmella bailing to the floor and the trash talk starts from there. Back in and Banks takes her down with a front facelock before trying the rope walk armdrag. That’s broken up and a Reginald distraction lets Carmella knock her down and the chinlock is on. Back up and Carmella takes her to the top but gets knocked away, setting up the Meteora.

Banks comes up favoring her knee so Carmella hammers away and shouts about how much better she is. Carmella gets knocked into the corner again and the slingshot double knees connect for two. Two Amigos connect and Banks is thrown outside, with Reginald making a catch. Sasha headscissors him down so Reginald is ejected but Carmella nails a suicide dive. Back in and a trio of rollups give Banks two each, followed by the Third Amigo. The frog splash hits knees though and Carmella nails a low superkick for two. Not that it matters as Banks pulls her into the Bank Statement to retain at 10:22.

Rating: C-. Total TV level match here without the most drama in the world. Banks is not about to lose the title to Carmella, who never really felt like that big of a threat. The match worked out fine enough, but the build wasn’t great and it felt like more of a matter of killing time with a token title defense more than anything else.

Big E. fires up Xavier Woods in the back, saying they need an hour to take their place among the wrestling gods. Sami Zayn comes up to say they’re part of the conspiracy but Kofi Kingston, in gear, comes up to hype up the team. Of note: New Day has matching Brodie Lee/Luke Harper gear.

Bad Bunny, with Booker T., performs his song about Booker T.

Rumble By The Numbers video.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals, Jerry Lawler is on commentary and Bayley (with COLE cut into the back of her hair because she wants to challenge him after she wins) is in at #1 and Naomi is in at #2. Bayley talks trash to start but Naomi jumps over her and snaps off a hurricanrana (minus most of the snap). A springboard kick to the face sets up the Rear View but neither can get the elimination. Bianca Belair is in at #3 and it’s a spinebuster into a handspring moonsault for two on Bayley.

Naomi tries a powerbomb on Belair but they roll around (as in they do something close to cartwheels without letting to, causing Lawler to say “that’s how I roll”) until Naomi winds up on the apron. Billie Kay is in at #4 but sits in on commentary because the ring is stacked at the moment (her words). Bayley shoulders them both in the corner and it’s Shotzi Blackheart, with tank, in at #5.

Billie tries to offer her resume so Shotzi fires said cannon at her to draw some screams. Shotzi gets in and cleans house as Kay is back on commentary to wait for a better partner. Shayna Baszler is in at #6 so Baszler offers a resume, earning herself a shove into the barricade. To continue the tradition, Baszler gets in and hits a bunch of people but no one has been eliminated yet, though Billie still hasn’t gotten in the ring.

It’s Toni Storm in at #7 and THIS TIME FOR SURE for Billie, but this time time Toni just walks past her. Toni hits some hip attacks but walks into the Rear View as Billie can’t believe how badly this has gone so far. Baszler gets rid of Shotzi and Jillian Hall, with the song, is in at #8. Billie proposes a team of Billie and Jillie…..and Hall actually goes for it, with Billie finally getting in the ring. There’s a double suplex to Naomi and it’s Ruby Riott in at #9.

Riott strikes away at Storm but gets caught with a German suplex. Kay saves Riott for some reason and now Jillian agrees to help them as well, though Riott doesn’t seem interested. Victoria is another surprise return at #10, giving us Bayley, Naomi, Belair, Kay, Baszler, Storm, Hall, Riott and Victoria for a rather full ring.

Peyton Royce is in at #11 but Billie isn’t sure if she should do the IIconics pose with Peyton or keep teaming with Riott. Victoria gets annoyed at Peyton for doing something like the Widow’s Peak and shows her how it’s done. Santana Garrett from NXT is in at #12 and some eliminations are teased with no one going out. Again. Liv Morgan is in at #13 and it’s Oblivion to Bayley.

The Riott Squad gets together until Jillian kicks them down, only to turn on Victoria as well. Billie kicks Jillian out and screams about it so the Squad gets rid of her as well. Rhea Ripley is in at #14 and now we should clear out some of these people. House is cleaned with a series of kicks to the face and Storm is out in a hurry. Victoria grabs a Tarantula on Shayna and with that broken up, the Kirifuda Clutch is good for the fast elimination. Some kicks to the face get rid of Garrett and it’s Charlotte in at #15, though she’s walking rather slowly.

House is cleaned in a hurry, with Charlotte knocking Ripley down twice and getting in a pair of nipups. Bayley and Riott are knocked outside, but only Riott is eliminated as Bayley went through the ropes. Dana Brooke is in at #16 and goes up top for a flip dive onto a bunch of people. Liv’s handspring headscissors is a bad idea as Peyton kicks her out and it’s Torrie Wilson in at #17 (allowing commentary to continue the myth that she was ever anything serious).

Ripley is sent to the apron so Brooke charges, only to get powerbombed onto the apron for the elimination as Ripley seemed like she barely held on. Ric Flair introduces Lacey Evans, in a copy of Charlotte’s robe, who is in at #18. The match basically stops so Charlotte can stare at Lacey and then beat the fire out of her. They fight to the floor (neither is eliminated) and the ring is full of feathers from the robe. Charlotte gets back on the apron and pulls Royce out, followed by Shayna getting rid of Torrie and Belair dumping Bayley.

Mickie James, billed as a legend, is in at #19 and the staredown with Charlotte is on in a hurry. They slug it out for a bit until Mickie manages a hurricanrana out of the corner to drop Charlotte. With no one being eliminated, Nikki Cross is in at #20, giving us Naomi, Belair, Baszler, Ripley, Charlotte, Evans, James and Cross.

It’s Cross getting to clean house and Alicia Fox of all people is in at #21. Hold on though as here’s R-Truth to try and enter the match, with the gang of morons following. Actually Fox pins him to win the title but it’s Mandy Rose in at #22. Fox is tossed and Truth gets the title back, meaning the chase is on again. NXT’s Dakota Kai is in at #23 and hits a bunch of clothesline. Lacey punches James out but Belair can’t get rid of Naomi. Carmella is in at #24, with Reginald giving her water and the required mirror.

Ripley drops Kai HARD onto the apron for the eliminations (referees are right there to check on her) and then gets rid of Mandy as a bonus. Cross tries to toss Carmella but Reginald makes the save, allowing Carmella to toss Cross instead. Tamina is in st #25 and superkicks Reginald, who was saving Carmella, meaning it’s another elimination.

Tamina and Ripley have a staredown, with Tom Phillips lying to us by calling it “interesting”. Belair knocks Naomi to the floor but she lands on her back, meaning the feet never touched. Naomi grabs Belair by the hair and uses it like a rope to pull herself back in (with Belair hanging onto the bottom rope by her feet).

They’re both back in and it’s Lana in at #26. She can’t get rid of Ripley and things settle back down in a hurry. Alexa Bliss is in at #27 and gets to clean house for a bit but everyone jumps her….and the lights go out because she starts becoming the Fiend…..but Ripley tosses her anyway. Well at least it fixed the lights. Ember Moon is in at #28 and it’s a not great Eclipse to Baszler. A double middle rope Codebreaker hits Charlotte and Tamina and Nia Jax is in at #29.

Baszler kicks Lacey out and Jax gets rid of Moon to clear the ring a bit. Jax and Baszler get rid of Naomi but Jax sides with Tamina (family) over Baszler. Tamina superkicks Jax though, with Baszler making the save to get rid of Tamina in a hurry. Baszler and Jax slug it out until Ripley breaks it up, only to have Jax toss Baszler. Lana jumps on Jax’s back, followed by a low bridge to get rid of Jax. Natalya is in at #30 to complete the field, giving us Belair, Charlotte, Lana, Belair and Natalya, but Jax and Baszler jump Natalya in the aisle.

Jax and Baszler beat up everyone else and then throw Natalya inside, with everyone down. We get another reunion between Natalya and Lana, with the former turning on her again for the elimination. Natalya gets Ripley to the apron but Belair dumps Natalya to get us down to three. Charlotte smiles at Ripley and Belair and it’s time for the three way staredown. Charlotte goes after both of them and manages a suplex on Belair. A missed big boot puts Charlotte on the apron though and a pair of forearms gets us down to Ripley vs. Belair.

They’re both on the apron in a hurry and wind up sitting down for the staredown. They agree to get back in and it’s Belair driving in shoulders in the corner. Ripley is knocked to the apron again but she slides through Belair’s legs and a double hair takedown gives them a breather. Back up and they slug it out with the Glam Slam and Riptide being countered. The KOD is broken up as well but Belair ducks a shot and clotheslines Ripley out to win at 58:55.

Rating: B-. The ending is what mattered here as you had two young, mostly unproven stars fighting for the big win and Belair pulled it off. That’s what the point of the Royal Rumble is all about and it worked here. The rest of the match was pretty good but not great, with a few too many goofy/legendary (ok that might be a stretch) entrants and turning on each other spots, but that’s minor by comparison. Belair winning is the right call in a match where they could have gone a lot of different ways.

Post match Belair is in tears as she dedicates the win to her parents. How in the world is she better as a face?

Miz and John Morrison talk to Bad Bunny but get scared off by Booker T.

The Kickoff Show panel talk about the women’s Rumble and the Kickoff Show title change. Cue R-Truth, who is distracted by a possible John Cena sighting. Peter Rosenberg hits him low and steals the 24/7 Title.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens for Reigns’ Universal Title. Owens has had Reigns beaten twice but Reigns has cheated to retain the title. The key is that Owens won’t stay down, so tonight it’s a Last Man Standing match. WWE official Adam Pearce was involved as well, as he was #1 contender but handed it to Owens to mess with Reigns.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is challenging and it’s Last Man Standing. Reigns starts fast with a Superman Punch for four but Owens is right back with the Pop Up Powerbomb for the same. They head outside with Owens being sent into the steps and getting caught with a spear for nowhere near ten. That means Reigns can start hammering him with the steps as they head off to the area near the stage.

Owens manages to get in a shot to the face though and the shot with the steps puts Reigns on a table. A missed chair shot lets Reigns get in another right hand and they fight into the area around the fan screens. They head up another level and Owens gets in a few chair shots to the knees. Reigns is back with some chair shots of his own but gets caught by a Stunner. That’s fine with Reigns, who gets in a shot to the face and throws Owens off the stands and through the tables.

Owens is up at nine and stumbles backstage….where Reigns runs him over with a golf cart (strike up the AEW fans). Reigns makes the mistake of saying that Owens’ grandfathers aren’t happy with Owens, sending Owens into a rage. The Pop Up Powerbomb puts Reigns onto a table and a frog splash drives him through it for the crash. Reigns makes it up again so Owens hits him in the face with a ladder. Owens puts him on a table and then raises a forklift to give him something to use for a Swanton (good thing there was a camera above the forklift for a good angle).

Somehow Reigns beats the count at nine but is down at ten, which is good enough to keep things going. They head back into the arena with Reigns almost begging off but managing a spear through the set. That’s only good for nine as Owens rolls off the stage, with Reigns looking rather frustrated. Reigns says he can’t quit because he can’t go home if he does, and pulls out some handcuffs.

Owens manages another Stunner and handcuffs Reigns to the set, where Reigns can’t get to his feet. The referee gets to nine so Reigns sends him face first into the set, allowing Paul Heyman to come up and unlock the cuffs. Actually hang on as it takes so long that the referee spontaneously stops counting. Reigns finally gets out and guillotine chokes Owens out for the win at 24:54.

Rating: B-. Oh man that ending destroyed everything they had going on as Heyman took probably over a minute to unhook those handcuffs. As usual, this was like watching a hardcore match where your video kept buffering as they would do a spot, then stop, then do a spot, then stop. Reigns winning was the right call and there were some good spots, but the ending hurt it and there was a lot of stalling again.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Edge is in at #1 and Randy Orton is in at #2. They waste no time in brawling to the floor, with both guys ramming the other into the announcers’ table. Sami Zayn is in at #3 and they fight inside, with Edge getting double teamed. Mustafa Ali is in at #4 and goes after Edge because he doesn’t like Hall of Famers and legends coming in and taking his spot. Fair enough actually.

Jeff Hardy is in at #5 but Orton starts snapping off RKO’s. Edge hits a spear to Orton though and they head outside with Edge hammering away again. Dolph Ziggler is in at #6 as Edge hits an Impaler onto the announcers’ table Orton is busted open as Edge chairs him in the knee. Ziggler eliminates Hardy as referees come out to pull Edge off of Orton. Shinsuke Nakamura is in at #7 as Orton is slowly carried to the back.

It’s Carlito in at #8 as the first surprise return so we can get a battle of the apple with Nakamura. Xavier Woods is in at #9 and goes right after Ali but gets jumped by Zayn. Big E. is in at #10, giving us Edge, Orton (out but not eliminated), Zayn, Ali, Ziggler, Nakamura, Carlito, Woods and Big E.

New Day gets together to clean some house as John Morrison is in at #11. Big E. gets rid of Zayn and Ali dumps Woods but gets tossed out by Big E. to clear the ring a bit. Ricochet is in at #12 and gets to pick up the pace a lot. Edge can’t keep up with Ricochet and it’s Elias in at #13 to clean house, with Graves not being pleased. A jumping knee catches Carlito and Elias tosses him out.

Nakamura suplexes Ziggler and it’s Damian Priest in at #14. The Reckoning hits Elias and some kicks to the face rock Morrison. Priest tosses Elias as we see Orton getting his knee treated. Edge and Priest slug it out but neither is out as Miz is in at #15. Hold on though as he needs to stop and destroy Bad Bunny’s DJ setup. With that out of the way, it’s the Skull Crushing Finale on Big E. Miz and Morrison start cleaning house but cue Bad Bunny, allowing Priest to toss the two of them. Bunny dives onto Miz and Morrison and it’s Riddle in at #16.

A Nakamura vs. Riddle slugout gets the fans’ attention but Priest breaks it up. Daniel Bryan is in at #17 and strikes away with little avail. Kane (looking like he’s just done with this stuff) is in at #18 and gets rid of Ziggler and Ricochet. We get a Team H*** NO reunion but Kane drops Bryan in a hurry. Priest and Kane have a showdown with Priest escaping the chokeslam and striking away.

Kane is tossed to give Priest his badge of honor and it’s King Corbin in at #19. Nakamura kicks him in the face as commentary talks about Giant Gonzalez. Corbin gives Nakamura Deep Six and tosses him out. Otis is in at #20, giving us Edge, Orton (in the back), Big E., Priest, Riddle, Bryan, Corbin and Otis for a big field. The Caterpillar connects but Corbin tosses Otis in a hurry.

Dominick Mysterio is in at #21 and is taken down by Corbin in a hurry. That doesn’t last long though as Dominick gets up and tosses Corbin, sending Cole through the roof. Riddle and Priest slug it out as Bobby Lashley is in at #22. Lashley sends Dominick flying out and clotheslines Priest out as well. Big E. and Lashley slug it out as I’m much more intrigued than I would have expected. Lashley gets powered up and has no idea what to do with Big E., who wants him to bring it. That’s broken up and it’s Hurricane in at #23.

The double chokeslam to Big E. and Lashley doesn’t work (Graves: “There’s a difference between being delusional and having a death wish.”) and Hurricane is out in a hurry. In your big surprise, Christian of all people is in at #24 (Edge is stunned but then smiles) and helps low bridge Lashley out. Christian hits the Unprettier on Big E. (remember: he was #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title when he retired) and we get the big (and rather emotional) reunion with Edge. Riddle tries to interfere and gets taken down in a hurry, setting up Edge’s assisted splash.

AJ Styles, with Omos, is in at #25 and Peles Christian (dang that’s nice to be able to say) in a hurry. The spear drops AJ and it’s Rey Mysterio (with a beer themed mask as WWE is now endorsing the product, meaning Cole gets in a commercial) in at #26. Omos saves AJ from getting eliminated and then pulls Big E. out. Big E. gets knocked over the announcers’ table and it’s Christian vs. Bryan against the ropes. Sheamus is in at #27 and gives Edge the ten forearms to the chest.

Omos breaks up a 619 to AJ and pulls Rey (with his stupid beer mask, including logo) out for an elimination. Cesaro is in at #28 and Swings Sheamus (Sheamus: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”), followed by one to Bryan as well. Seth Rollins makes his big return at #29 and slugs it out with Cesaro. It’s Braun Strowman in at #30, giving us a final group of Edge, Orton (still not eliminated), Riddle, Bryan, Christian, Styles, Sheamus, Cesaro, Rollins and Strowman.

It’s time to clean some house as Strowman gets rid of Cesaro, Sheamus and Styles in a hurry. Edge and Christian spear Strowman down as Rollins is on the floor without being eliminated. Bryan and Riddle strike it out but Edge takes Riddle’s place. The running knee has Edge in trouble but he hangs on to avoid the elimination. There’s a running dropkick to Christian and another one to Strowman in the corner. Riddle and Bryan fight again with Bryan being sent to the apron, only to come back in with a missile dropkick.

Rollins comes back in with a Stomp to Bryan and the elimination, setting up a showdown with Riddle. The Final Flash sends Rollins outside but Strowman gives Riddle a right hand. A Stomp on the apron gets rid of Riddle, so Rollins tells Strowman that they need to team up. Strowman throws Rollins down instead and runs over Edge and Christian. Edge gets to the apron and tries to leverage Strowman out so Christian comes over to help. Rollins dumps Edge and Christian and Edge tosses Rollins…..so Orton can come back in with the RKO. Edge is right back up to toss Orton though and wins at 59:12.

Rating: B. The ending helped this one a lot as I wouldn’t have bet on Edge winning the whole thing. It felt like a genuine surprise and the impossible dream of returning to the top of the mountain can be an incredible story. You can go a lot of ways with that and it was nice to have the Orton “surprise” run in not work for him. Hopefully they don’t do another Edge vs. Orton match, but they can burn it off at Fastlane or Elimination Chamber if they have to.

As for the rest of the match, thank goodness they had Christian for a genuine surprise because it was lacking pretty hard otherwise. There were some good moments but a lot of it felt like going through the motions. The limited surprises they had were just ok, save for Christian who actually shocked me. Overall it’s a pretty strong Rumble, but the Edge and Christian focus made up a good chunk of the positives.

A .7 Rousey sign pointing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a weird one as the Rumbles are both good and I was happy with the winners, but I wasn’t wild on the majority of the Rumble matches. The rest of the card was the usual hit or miss show, but overall this show, like every Royal Rumble, is going to be judged based on the Rumble finishes. Those worked well here and they have a direction for Wrestlemania, though they have a lot of other questions left to answer on the way there.

Results

Drew McIntyre b. Goldberg – Claymore

Sasha Banks b. Carmella – Bank Statement

Bianca Belair won the women’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Rhea Ripley

Roman Reigns b. Kevin Owens – Owens could not answer the ten count

Edge won the men’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Randy Orton

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2020 (Original): Now In Two Parts

Royal Rumble 2020
Date: January 26, 2020
Location: Minute Maid Park, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Vic Joseph, Jerry Lawler, Tom Phillips

It’s time to get started on the Road to Wrestlemania and while you could say the Rumbles are predictable, you could also say that they’re wide open. This is a very strange situation and I’m rather pleased with that. I’m not sure who is going to win either but they’re going to mean a lot. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Shorty G. vs. Sheamus

Tale as old as time: monster vs. guy with a stupid name. Sheamus shrugs off a wristlock to start and hits a crossface shot to the face. Gable is back up with a running crossbody over the top so Sheamus hits him a few more time. Gable’s ear is bleeding and Sheamus grabs an armbar as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus working on the arm and then hitting the ten forearms to the chest. More forearms to the chest on the floor make it worse but Gable is back with a dropkick to the knee to stagger him. Some Liger kicks in the corner put Sheamus down and Gable stomps away at the leg. The moonsault connects for two and it’s Rolling Chaos Theory for the same. Gable grabs the ankle lock but Sheamus rolls out, only to have it go on again. That’s broken up again and Gables gets two off a crucifix. Back up the Brogue Kick gives Sheamus the pin at 12:31.

Rating: C. Just a match here and they were smart to put this on the Kickoff Show instead of doing it on the regular card. This is the kind of match that wasn’t exactly hard to predict as it was all about Sheamus being the monster and running over Gable, which isn’t quite a story that gets people excited but at least WWE can make more short jokes.

Kickoff Show: United States Title: Andrade vs. Humberto Carrillo

Andrade is defending and they go with the dodging to start. Carrillo sends him outside for the slingshot dropkick through the ropes but the dive off the top only hits barricade. Back from a break with Andrade hitting a running kick to the side of the head and countering the high angle armdrag. Carrillo elbows him in the head though and now the springboard crossbody can drop the champ.

The rolling moonsault hits raised knees though and Andrade tries a baseball slide, only to wind up on the floor for an Asai moonsault. Back in and Andrade tries Three Amigos but Carrillo reverses the third into one of his own. The top rope moonsault misses as well though and Andrade rolls him up into the corner. Andrade’s running knees in the corner get two and they stagger to their feet to slug it out. They go to the corner with Andrade getting in a shot to the face, only to have Carrillo snap off a super hurricanrana for two. Carrillo tries another hurricanrana but Andrade reverses into a sunset flip to retain at 14:31.

Rating: C. This never got into that next gear, though they got the winner right. Carrillo is someone who the fans haven’t taken to yet and really, I’m not sure what it’s going to take to make them care. There isn’t much to him as far as charisma goes and that’s not enough when you have people who can fly just as well if not better. Fine for a Kickoff Show match, but that’s all it needed to be.

The opening video is narrated by Steve Austin, who talks about how important the Royal Rumble is because it can send you to Wrestlemania. Always cool to see Austin used for something important.

Roman Reigns vs. King Corbin

Falls Count Anywhere. Reigns goes after Corbin’s throne carriers and the fight is on before they get in the ring. Corbin is sent into the post and Reigns hammers away inside. The Samoan drop is blocked though and Corbin gets in a right hand for a breather. Corbin heads outside but gets pulled back over the barricade so the fight can continue. Back in and Corbin hits Deep Six for two but Reigns is right back up.

They fight outside again and over the barricade, this time into the crowd for the walking around the stadium sequence. It’s back to ringside with Reigns being dropped onto the announcers’ table for two, followed by a chokeslam through another announcers’ table for the same. With Corbin being rather frustrated, it’s time to go back through the crowd for more punching.

Reigns hits a Samoan drop through an international announcers’ table and then does the same thing again for two. They go over to the tech area and here are Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode to jump Reigns (you knew that was coming). Ziggler busts out a chain but here are the Usos to even things up. We stay on this brawl for a good while with Roode and Ziggler getting the better of things….until Jimmy dives off a balcony to take them down. Corbin remembers he’s in the match and drops Jimmy onto a barricade.

Rating: D+. Completely bleh match with little drama and the pure fact that it was Reigns vs. Corbin for 20+ minutes. WWE seems to think that this is some epic feud and it’s just not, mainly because Reigns is a top star and Corbin isn’t a main event level heel. Hopefully this is it because there’s no need to continue it, which is why you can probably pencil them in for two more matches at least.

Kevin Owens talks to Samoa Joe about his success in Houston and thinks he can win tonight. Samoa Joe likes the idea of getting rid of Seth Rollins but he’ll go through Owens if he has to.

Cole offers condolences to the families of Kobe Bryan and everyone else involved in the helicopter crash.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with Alexa Bliss in at #1 and Bianca Belair is in at #2. Belair wastes no time in hitting a running shoulder in the corner and takes Bliss to the middle rope for some forearms. A running headscissors is countered into a backbreaker to put Bliss down again and Mighty Molly of all people is in at #3 (and to the Hurricane’s music of course). She clotheslines Bliss and Belair down and a high crossbody does the same. Molly can’t get Belair out and it’s Nikki Cross in at #4.

Bliss and Cross get to clean some house but stop to hug, only to have Molly and Belair run them over. Belair gives Cross the KOD onto Bliss, who is right back up with a sunset bomb. A neckbreaker drops Molly and everyone is down until Lana is in at #5. Hold on though as she takes her sweet time getting the ring because she needs to talk about how great she is and how this is for her hot husband.

Lana finally gets to the ring and can’t eliminate Molly as Mercedes Martinez is in at #6. Martinez gets to clean house, including a butterfly suplex to Lana (in the Captain Marvel gear). It’s not enough to get rid of her though and it’s Liv Morgan in at #7 to eliminate Lana. For some reason Liv goes up so Lana shoves her off for an elimination, meaning the fight is on.

Dana Brooke is in at #13 and hits the Swanton on Mia. Belair tosses Candice and Bliss slaps Sane off the top for an elimination in a bit of an upset. Tamina is in at #14 to superkick Brooke and get in the brawl with Belair. A charge lets Belair backdrop Tamina out for Belair’s sixth elimination so far. Dakota Kai is in at #15 to get us to the halfway point and there’s the running kick to Brooke in the corner.

Bliss gets rid of Yim and it’s Chelsea Green in at #16 (to Summer Rae’s old NXT theme). Green dumps Kai but gets tossed by Bliss, followed by by Belair knocking out Brooke. Bliss knocks Belair down but Twisted Bliss hits knees. They both go over the top to the apron and Belair knocks her out to stand alone until….Charlotte is in at #17. Charlotte starts with the chops but Belair knocks her into the corner.

Naomi is in at #18 for a return and a big reaction. Charlotte and Naomi trade missed dropkicks and nip up for a staredown. They both go after Belair and it’s Beth Phoenix in at #19, sending Charlotte into a panic. Naomi gets sent to the apron but manages to springboard back in to take down Charlotte and Beth. Charlotte pairs off with Naomi as Beth tries to get rid of Belair and Toni Storm is in at #20, giving us Charlotte, Naomi, Phoenix, Belair and Storm.

Belair goes up top and Charlotte tosses her out, with the fans not being pleased. Kelly Kelly is in at #21 and hits her screaming headscissors on Storm. The Stinkface to Storm is Kelly having more fun as Beth goes nuts trying to get rid of Charlotte. Sarah Logan is in at #22 and Charlotte gets rid of her in a hurry. Kelly tries to dump Charlotte and gets knocked out a second later for her efforts.

Natalya is in at #23 for a bunch of discus lariats, followed by teaming up with Beth for a powerbomb to bring Charlotte out of the corner. Xia Li is in at #24 and starts with the rapid fire kicks as the back of Beth’s head is busted open. Zelina Vega is in at #25 and hurricanranas Beth, who probably shouldn’t be messed with given her head. Charlotte survives a three on one elimination attempt and Shotzi Blackheart is in at #26.

Naomi gets sent to the apron but runs down the steps and dives onto the barricade with her feet inches above the floor. She gets onto an announcers’ table and tries to figure it out as Carmella is in at #27. Carmella gets a very long headscissors on Natalya as Naomi goes to another table. The Glam Slam hits Charlotte as Naomi goes to the third table. Charlotte goes through the ropes to the floor to a big reaction as fans have some false hope. Tegan Nox is in at #28 and walks into a Glam Slam as Beth’s hair is almost half red from all of the blood.

Naomi FINALLY uses an announcers’ table cover to make it back to the ring as Baszler gets rid of Carmella, plus Storm who was put out somewhere in there. Naomi is back in and the missed Rear View lets Baszler get rid of her as well. Natalya and Beth get together for a Hart Attack on Baszler but Beth dumps Natalya in a surprise. Charlotte tries to dump Baszler and Beth but they both save themselves, meaning it’s a Charlotte vs. Baszler showdown. That’s broken up and Baszler gets rid of Phoenix but can’t toss Charlotte, who skins the cat and eliminates Baszler to win at 54:31.

Rating: B. A few weeks back, I picked Charlotte to win, no matter how illogical or annoying it might be because that’s what Charlotte does. I changed my mind to Baszler because that made more sense and now here we are, because WWE can’t help themselves with Charlotte. It’s such an anti-climactic ending because Charlotte has been in a major spot so many times that it doesn’t mean anything anymore. And now, more weeks of hearing how great Charlotte is, because we haven’t heard that recently enough.

Other than that, this was a very good Rumble with far better pacing than last year and the NXT women carrying the slack. Belair and Baszler looked like killers and I’m hoping Shayna is main roster bound. There’s nothing left for her to do in NXT and she looked awesome here. Even the Santina bit was funny for some comedy. This was a solid Rumble, despite the disappointing ending.

Post match, Charlotte says she knows some people aren’t happy with her winning but she’s the diamond and will win the title again.

Corbin says Reigns made a mockery of their match so tonight, he’s tossing Roman.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Lacey Evans

Lacey is challenging and her daughter is here. Bayley gets taken down early to start so she goes to the corner to try for a turnbuckle. That just earns her a sweep of the leg and a slingshot elbow, meaning it’s time to claim a knee injury. The obvious goldbricking is obvious and Bayley hits her with a forearm, setting up a top rope elbow for two on Evans. Bayley grabs a chinlock as we hear Lacey’s military resume. The hold stays on for a good while and Bayley mocks Evans for being a mother. That’s quite the odd insult.

Evans fights up and gets in a knee from the apron. A slingshot rollup gets two but Bayley mocks the salute, allowing Evans to dodge a middle rope crossbody. The slingshot dropkick hits Bayley (and Evans has to catch her foot on the rope to keep from falling). Bayley rolls to the floor and avoids a slingshot dive, drawing hisses from Lacey’s daughter. Back in and the Bayley to Belly is blocked but so is the double jump moonsault, with Bayley grabbing a rollup with trunks to retain at 9:23.

Rating: C-. I got a nice chuckle out of Lacey losing in front of her daughter because having a child is quite the stretch for a reason to cheer for her. Bayley retaining the title is a bit of a shaky decision, but I’d assume that we’re getting Charlotte vs. Bayley at Wrestlemania in one of those fresh matches that WWE loves. Kind of boring, but it was coming after a huge match and there wasn’t much they could do.

We recap the Fiend vs. Daniel Bryan for the Smackdown World Title. Fiend beat him at Survivor Series so Bryan brought back the YES Movement (and cut his hair) for one more shot. This time it’s a strap match so Fiend can’t run away.

Smackdown World Title: Fiend vs. Daniel Bryan

Fiend is defending and they’re strapped together at the wrist with pin or submission to win. More importantly though: NO RED LIGHTS! After the Big Match Intros, Bryan goes right at him in the corner with the kicks and right hands. Those just earn him a powerbomb though as Fiend doesn’t seem to mind the pain. It’s time to start the whipping and a headbutt rocks Bryan. A missed charge puts Fiend on the floor so Bryan tries a dive, only to get sent into the barricade.

Alternating YES Kicks and whips keep Fiend down and the big one connects. Fiend pops back up and asks for more so Bryan kicks him in the head again. The running knee is countered into Sister Abigail for two and Fiend looks confused. Bryan is back with a kick to the face but Fiend slaps on the Mandible Claw with Bryan on the top.

Bryan pulls him into a triangle but Fiend keeps the Claw on, only to get reversed into the LeBell Lock with the strap over the mouth. That’s broken up as well though and Fiend whips him some more. Sister Abigail is countered into a rollup for two and another running knee gets another two. Fiend pops up again and stares down at Bryan, who whips him with the strap. That just earns him the Claw, including a Claw slam, for the pin to retain at 17:28.

Rating: B. They beat each other up rather well, though the lack of drama on the near falls hurt a lot. What didn’t hurt a lot was the lack of the red light, which didn’t take away a lot of the monster effect but did take away a lot of the stupid. Fiend came off as in control here though, as he looked like he shrugged off everything Bryan threw at him and then won the match because he was done with the torture. Bryan can move on to something else now and Fiend can get ready for something at Wrestlemania. Good match, but not much drama.

Post match Fiend disappears and Bryan has to be helped out. He probably does need a break after this one.

Super Showdown is confirmed for Saudi Arabia on February 27.

We recap Asuka vs. Becky Lynch for the Raw Women’s Title. Asuka beat Lynch last year at the Royal Rumble, which was Becky’s last loss before she went on towards the main event of Wrestlemania. Lynch has been champion since and wants to avenge her loss.

Raw Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Asuka

Asuka is challenging and has Kairi Sane with her. Becky avoids a dropkick to start and Asuka seems to be favoring her arm early on. Her feet are fine though as she kicks Lynch down to take over. Asuka throws her into the corner but charges into some elbows. A bulldog into a low dropkick gives the champ two and she hits a release front suplex off the apron.

Back in and the guillotine legdrop gives Becky two but Asuka slugs away. Something like a suplex into a sitdown drop gives Asuka two and they fight to the apron. That means a hip attack can send Becky into the post, but she’s right back with a middle rope Rock Bottom for two. Becky goes up again and mistimes a dive into a Codebreaker, only to go for the arm immediately after the kickout.

That’s broken up with a foot on the rope so Asuka unloads with kicks to the head. Becky has to grab the referee to prevent the referee stoppage so Asuka kicks her in the head for a very close near fall. A quick Disarm-Her attempt doesn’t work so Becky plants her for two instead. Becky goes for the arm again but the referee almost gets bumped. Asuka loads up the mist but Becky kicks her in the ribs, sending the mist into the arm. Now the Disarm-Her can go on to make Asuka tap at 16:32.

Rating: B. Another good match here as Becky gets the win over the one person she couldn’t beat. They beat each other up with Becky seeming desperate to finally beat Asuka, who was ruthless with her aggression. Asuka’s cheating coming back to cost her the match played into their story well too. This doesn’t leave her with many options, but she could wind up against Baszler or Ronda Rousey at Wrestlemania, either of which could be awesome. With the match out of the way, maybe WWE can remember that Asuka is already a champion.

The Street Profits aren’t sure who will win the Royal Rumble, with Dawkins humming various theme musics.

Bobby Lashley and Rusev are out of the Rumble after getting in a fight in the parking lot earlier today.

Booker T. joins commentary.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals, Brock Lesnar is in at #1 and Elias is in at #2 (more bad luck as he was #1 last year). Elias talks about the gorilla in the ring and asks the fans to clap along for his new song, Sacrificial Lamb. Lesnar gets annoyed at the song and chases Elias (tripping a bit on the way out of the ring), meaning the match can start with Brock taking him down.

The first German suplex connects and Lesnar breaks the guitar over Elias’ back. That’s the first elimination so Brock gets a breather until Erick Rowan, with crate, is in at #3. Rowan blocks the German suplex and gets clotheslined out in about eight seconds. Robert Roode is in at #4, slugs away, gets clotheslined, F5, Brock stands alone. Brock poses with the title until John Morrison is in at #5 and it’s a belly to belly over the top in nine seconds.

Kofi Kingston is in at #6 and starts slugging away until Lesnar drives him into the corner. The first German suplex drops Kofi on his head and Brock starts smiling. The clock speeds WAY up so Rey Mysterio can come in at #7. Rey tries to run the ropes but gets sent into Kofi in the corner.

Ricochet is in at #15 and gets caught with a quick backbreaker. There’s a German suplex as Cole says he doesn’t want to hear about Lesnar not defending his title. In a non-title match. Drew McIntyre is in at #16 and gets in a staredown with Lesnar. Ricochet gets in a low blow from behind and McIntyre eliminates Lesnar to a nice reaction. McIntyre gets rid of Ricochet as well and Miz is in at #17.

Drew knocks Miz down and glares down at Lesnar, setting up the Claymore to get rid of Miz and stand alone. Lesnar and Heyman are still standing behind the barricade as AJ Styles is in at #18. Some early shots take AJ down but he pulls McIntyre down into the Calf Crusher. That’s broken up as well and Dolph Ziggler is in at #19.

Ziggler and AJ double team McIntyre until Ziggler punches AJ in the face. That means a suplex from McIntyre as Karl Anderson is in at #20, giving us McIntyre, Styles, Ziggler and Anderson. Everything settles down and it’s EDGE (THAT FREAKING LIAR!) at #21. Spears abound and we get an Edge vs. Styles showdown, capped off by another spear. King Corbin is in at #22 (YOU SHALL NOT BE ENTERTAINED!!!) and cleans house with Ziggler until Edge dumps AJ (who may have been favoring his wrist).

Reigns no sells McIntyre’s chops and it’s Kevin Owens at lucky #27. Cannonballs abound and there’s a Stunner to Reigns. Another one hits Orton and it’s Aleister Black in at #28. A jumping knee hits Owens and a running one drops Edge, followed by Black Mass to McIntyre. Samoa Joe is in at #29 and Black is waiting on him with the strikes.

Joe kicks him down, smiles at Owens, and starts the slugout again. Seth Rollins is in st #30 (sweet, no Velasquez), giving us Orton, Reigns, Owens, Black, McIntyre, Edge, Rollins and Joe. Rollins comes out with Buddy Murphy (who was scheduled to be in this) and the AOP so Joe and Owens roll outside to start the fight. Rollins and Murphy pull Edge outside before throwing Orton over the announcers’ table (not eliminated).

The Stomp hits Reigns and Rollins eliminates Black and Owens. The Koquina Clutch has Rollins in trouble but Murphy makes the save so Rollins can eliminate Joe as well. Owens, Black and Joe brawl to the back with Murphy/AOP, leaving us with Reigns, Rollins, Edge, Orton and McIntyre. Everyone surrounds Rollins so he tries to reunite with Reigns. That just earns him a Superman punch into an Orton powerslam into the Claymore so McIntyre can get the elimination.

Reigns hangs onto the bottom rope to stay alive and he pulls Edge to the apron with him. Edge gets knocked off and Reigns gets back in for the fight with McIntyre, who nails the Claymore. McIntyre tosses Reigns to win at 1:00:09 (Sally, I know you’re smiling. Don’t worry if you don’t get this reference.).

Rating: B+. The ending is what matters most here, as McIntyre has been ready to move up to the next level for the better part of ever now. They FINALLY pulled the trigger on him and while it is another step to win the World Title at Wrestlemania, this is a heck of a good sign for him and his future.

Then there’s the first half of the Rumble and your mileage is probably going to vary. I wasn’t wild on it, but it didn’t ruin the match for me. I didn’t need Lesnar to run through that many people, but at least the right person won in the end and we should be in for a big Wrestlemania showdown. It could have been a lot worse, and McIntyre winning warms the cockles of my heart (whatever cockles are).

Drew looks very emotional to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. It’s a good show and WAY better than last year’s (partially due to it being half an hour shorter) with Reigns vs. Corbin and Bayley vs. Evans not being great. Other than that, it’s a very solid show with two good Rumbles and one good winner. Becky vs. Asuka was awesome too and Bryan vs. Fiend was solid storytelling. Wrestlemania is feeling a lot more interesting than it was just a few days ago and that’s the best feeling you can have coming out of this show. Now just keep it up going into Tampa.

Results

Roman Reigns b. King Corbin – Spear

Charlotte won the Women’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Shayna Baszler

Bayley b. Lacey Evans – Rollup with trunks

Fiend b. Daniel Bryan – Mandible Claw

Becky Lynch b. Asuka – Disarm-Her

Drew McIntyre won the Men’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Roman Reigns

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Royal Rumble 2021 Preview

It’s time for one of the biggest events of the year and that is a great thing to see. While it is going to be weird to see the Royal Rumble with no fans in attendance, it should be interesting to see how they put things forward. This is a year where the matches are kind of wide open and that is a nice feeling to have. It’s cool to see where WWE is going to go for Wrestlemania and we will learn a lot more about this by the end of the show. Let’s get to it.

Universal Title: Roman Reigns(c) vs. Kevin Owens

This is one of the more fascinating stories in WWE at the moment and while that is the case for several reasons, the most impressive is that despite Owens not having any real chance of winning, you could believe that there is at least a chance of him pulling it off. Owens has more than lived up to the hype but he is facing a monster in Reigns. I think I know how the result is going to go, but I want to see how they get there and that is a great feeling.

I’ll take Reigns to win in what should be the obvious ending, but at least they should be having a heck of a match on the way there. I want to see how they manage to have Reigns keep Owens down and while I could see it involving the return of Jimmy Uso or someone in Owens’ family being threatened, it could be a heck of a way to make something work. Despite it being the end of the feud, I want to see where it goes and that’s how things are supposed to be.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Asuka/Charlotte(c) vs. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler

I don’t remember the last time I saw a title reign this worthless and there is no reason to keep the titles on Charlotte and Asuka. They don’t act like a team, they don’t talk like a team and there is no need for them to be a team. They were thrown together and given the titles because Charlotte needed another title and that isn’t enough of a reason for the title reign to continue.

That being said, I’m only hoping that Jax and Baszler get the belts back here, as you never can tell with WWE when it comes to Charlotte and titles. Both Charlotte and Asuka have seemed to move on, but I’m almost scared to see how WWE might get the titles off of them. This is not something I’m looking forward to seeing and hopefully they keep it short while getting Charlotte and Asuka far away from the titles, as they always should have been.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Sasha Banks(c) vs. Carmella

Now this one has me confused and that’s a good thing….I think. We’ve already seen this match a few times and Carmella’s assistant is the one who is getting the most attention. Banks is still relatively early in her title reign (at least compared to what Bayley did with the title) so it would be a little strange to see her drop the title. That being said, this is the third title match between the two of them and I’m not sure I can see Carmella losing again.

I’ll take Banks retaining here, but I’m a lot less sure about it than I probably should be. Banks is someone who feels like the top star of the division while Carmella feels like the challenger of the month to keep Banks busy until we get to someone serious (like Bianca Belair). This should be Banks, but I kind of like the fact that I’m not sure how accurate that is.

Women’s Royal Rumble

I have no idea who is winning this. There are currently thirteen entrants announced and there are at least three people out of those thirteen who could win the thing. That’s not even including some of the more marginal names who very well could pull it off. There are a few people who stand out above the rest, but narrowing that down is one of the trickiest things to pull off.

I’m likely to be wrong but I’ll take Bianca Belair here. The Smackdown women’s division needs some fresh blood and she will do as well as anyone else at the moment. The Raw side is a lot more complicated as you have a host of people capable of challenging Charlotte, but it would seem like Alexa Bliss is the right choice at the moment. However, she doesn’t feel like the right choice to win the Rumble and then wait two and a half months to get the title shot. Bliss winning the title on Raw or at the Elimination Chamber and then dropping it to someone (say a certain Rhea Ripley) at Wrestlemania makes more sense, but Belair wins here.

Men’s Royal Rumble

There are twenty one entrants for this match and the betting favorite seems to be Daniel Bryan. That would certainly make the most sense, but I’m not sure if it is going to be that easy. If nothing else, it would make sense to have someone on Raw pick up the win to immediately set them up against Drew McIntyre, who doesn’t exactly have a clear opponent at Wrestlemania. That leaves you with a ton of options, and that makes things interesting.

But yeah I’ll take Bryan to win. As much as I think there might be someone else who makes sense, I’m not sure I can figure out who that other person is. Bryan winning is a perfectly safe bet and setting him up to face Reigns at Wrestlemania is one of the easiest ideas that WWE could use. This very well may be someone else, but I’ll take Bryan out of the announced field.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre(c) vs. Goldberg

And we have this to wrap things up, as WWE has to scare us with the idea of Goldberg winning another World Title. McIntyre has already held the title for a long time and might be ready to move down just a hair, but my goodness not Goldberg again. I grew up in his heyday and I cannot bring myself to care about another reign out of him. WWE certainly thinks a lot of him though and that puts us in this dangerous situation.

I’m going to hold onto some hope here and say McIntyre wins as I hope WWE comes to their senses. There is little to no reason for Goldberg to get the title but that has never stopped them before. Please just go with what makes sense and let McIntyre have a big title match at Wrestlemania in front of thousands of fans like he deserves. Goldberg has a place in modern WWE, but it isn’t winning the WWE Title in the main event of the Royal Rumble.

Overall Thoughts

I know it might not be the biggest and most best built show, but there is something special about the Royal Rumble. If nothing else, it is great to see who might be brought into the matches because WWE can get in some nice surprises. The Royal Rumble is a good show most of the time and if nothing else it is going to be an awesome to hear that buzzer all over again. Now just please don’t screw it up.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Superstar Spectacle: Happy Republic Day

Superstar Spectacle
Date: January 26, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Shahoz Ali

This is the start of WWE’s latest attempt to make it into India, as we are getting a special (taped in Florida, like everything else) featuring WWE stars in the ring with Indian stars. Eventually we could be seeing an NXT India out of the whole thing so consider this getting the feet wet. Let’s get to it.

This is being broadcast on television in India so there will be some commercials included despite it being a Network special. It is airing on Republic Day, which is the anniversary of the day India became a republic (seems like something similar to (I’m aware it’s not the same) the 4th of July for Americans). Cool.

HHH narrates a video (I know this because we get a Narrated By Triple H graphic) about WWE’s history in India, showing various wrestlers in the country over the years, including footage of Bret Hart with the Winged Eagle belt to show you how far back things go. Various stars of Indian descent talk about what this means to them and now it is time to start a new future. HHH talks over clips of new Indian wrestlers (complete with name graphics as these people are mostly making their debuts) and we’re ready to go.

The fans on the Thunderdome screens are all from India.

We get a video on Guru Raaj, who is a high flier who came from a rough childhood, including being run over by a tractor. Well that’s extreme.

Finn Balor vs. Guru Raaj

Non-title. Balor armbars him down but Raaj snapmares his way to freedom and puts on an armbar of his own. Back up and we hit the standoff so Balor headlocks him down. Raaj is back up with a headlock takeover of his own but this time Balor rolls out and hits a basement dropkick. We take a break and come back with Raaj fighting out of an abdominal stretch. An elbow to the face sets up a backsplash, with Raaj getting up but then remembering he wanted to nip up instead.

Balor takes him into the corner and unloads with stomps before chopping Raaj into another corner. The Sling Blade connects but the shotgun dropkick is countered with an enziguri for two. A bunch of kicks, capped off by a jumping shot to the head, sets up a high crossbody for two. That’s enough for Ali to remember that he’s on commentary and actually say something, but the shotgun dropkick quiets him down all over again. The Coup de Grace into 1916 finishes Raaj at 10:39.

Rating: C. All things considered, this was not bad at all. Raaj has not been training long (a year, which is nothing in wrestling) and while he looked a little unsure and rough at times, he certainly did not embarrass himself. There is no shame in losing to a former World Champion so this went as well as could be expected and gives me hope for what we’re going to be seeing.

We get a post match handshake (side note: I’m not sure if it’s the new 8k cameras, but there have been some shots that look like they’re in either a movie or a video game and they’re messing me up every single time).

We meet Giant Zanjeer, who, like many others on this show, was trained by Great Khali. He thinks if he trains hard, he can be champion too.

We meet Dilshar Shanky, who is 7’ tall and wants to do this for his parents.

Rey Mysterio/Giant Zanjeer/Dilsher Shanky/Ricochet vs. Cesaro/King Corbin/Shinsuke Nakamura/Dolph Ziggler

So Nakamura is a heel again (or at least he’s teaming with them) and Ziggler isn’t even in there with his regular partner? Shanky goes 7’ and is the second tallest member of the team, after the 7’2 Zanjeer. Well that should get them noticed somewhere. Ziggler goes for Shanky’s leg to start and is tossed into the corner without much trouble. Nakamura tries a cheap shot and is thrown into the corner for the big running splash. Zanjeer comes in, tosses Corbin onto the pile, and adds a chop. Cesaro thinks better of fighting both giants on his own and we take a break.

Back with Cesaro throwing Mysterio back inside and handing it off to Nakamura, who sends Mysterio into the corner. Corbin gets in a few shots and brings Ziggler back in as they take turns on Ziggler. All of the villains get together to knock the giants and Ricochet to the floor but Rey manages to hurricanrana Corbin into the corner. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Ricochet, who grabs a spinning suplex. The standing shooting star gets two on Ziggler, who is right back with the Zig Zag.

Ricochet slips away and brings in Zanjeer, who cleans house with some big shoulders. Shanky comes back in and drops and elbow for two but gets swarmed by everyone else. Everything breaks down and Zanjeer throws Ricochet onto the pile on the floor. Cesaro dumps Zanjeer to the floor but gets booted in the face by Shanky. That sets up the 619 and the splash off of Shanky’s shoulders lets Rey pin Cesaro at 9:58.

Rating: C+. Again, this worked because they aren’t letting these guys out of their comfort zones. The giants are going to be limited because they’re so big, but they didn’t do anything outside of standard big man stuff. The key to that is the did the basic stuff well, which is WAY better than trying something complicated and screwing it up. They got in, did their stuff well, and got out to let the veterans do the main work. This went well and the giants looked pretty good at what they were doing.

Rey and Ricochet get on the giants’ shoulders to celebrate.

WWE is working with a charity to help girls get scholarships. Nothing wrong with that.

Paul Heyman and Roman Reigns aren’t happy but wish us a happy Republic Day.

Video on Jeet Rama, whose grandfather was a wrestler and apparently has been with WWE for a good many years without ever making it to television.

AJ Styles vs. Jeet Rama

Omos is here with AJ. Rama is a multiple time national champion in some form of grappling and has some size to him (not a giant, but fairly tall and has some muscle on him). AJ goes for the arm to start but gets taken into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. Rama’s armbar is broken up with a shot to the head and AJ knocks him to the floor for the slingshot forearm.

We take a break and come back with AJ holding a chinlock as Cole says Rama is following in the footsteps of stars like Runjin Singh. Rama gets in a pair of suplexes for two but AJ catches him on top for a drop onto the turnbuckle. It’s too early for the Styles Clash so AJ settles for the Calf Crusher. The hold stays on for a good bit until Rama manages to drive AJ’s head into the mat for the break. Rama gets in a belly to belly but Omos breaks up a belly to belly superplex. The Phenomenal Forearm finishes at 11:42.

Rating: C. You can tell that Rama has a lot more experience and a style that works for him, but the match was only ok. The lack of even a limp after spending that long in the Calf Crusher didn’t help, but Omos interfering to (possibly) save Styles worked. Perfectly watchable match as this show continues to work out well.

Post match, AJ and Omos give Rama some applause.

Video on Indus Sher, who you might remember from a very brief run as a monster team in NXT. One of them was on a popular TV show and the other was a professional baseball player and the subject of the movie Million Dollar Arm.

Big E. and Xavier Woods to introduce a Bollywood dance but here are the Street Profits to help them. The four of them introduce a musical dance troupe for a pretty cool performance. More men and women dance in the ring with the rest of the troupe joining them. This looked rather awesome.

Great Khali, surrounded by I’m assuming his students, says what sounds like something positive.

Charlotte/Sareena Sandhu vs. Bayley/Natalya

Bayley and Sandhu have the same trainer. Charlotte’s gear is in the colors of the Indian flag and she shrugs off Natalya’s wristlock to start. Bayley comes in so Charlotte sends both of them into the corner. It’s off to Sandhu for a double high crossbody and stereo baseball slides put Bayley and Natalya on the floor as we take a break (with Charlotte and Sandhu dancing a bit).

Back with Charlotte suplexing Bayley and hitting the backbreaker into the Downward Spiral into the corner. Sandhu gets two off a butterfly suplex and a small package gets the same on Natalya. Bayley offers a distraction though and Natalya kicks Sandhu to the floor. The leglock has Sandhu in trouble but she reverses into one of her own. That’s enough to bring Bayley in for the save and she knocks Charlotte off the apron for a bonus. Charlotte kicks Bayley in the face but Natalya clotheslines Sandhu down. The Sharpshooter goes on but Charlotte makes the save with Natural Selection, giving Sandhu the pin at 6:08.

Rating: C-. Probably the weakest match of the night but it’s not like it was anything bad. Natalya isn’t going to give up anything by taking a fall here and it gives Sandhu a little credibility. They kept this moving and the match worked out fine enough and it’s ok that Sandhu needed a bit of help to pin Natalya.

Video on Kavita Devi, who had to miss the show due to a family emergency in India. She has been in a few battle royals and the Mae Young Classics and wants to be a role model in India.

Here’s Ric Flair (they really will put him on anything) to say how cool it is to have this many fans from India here and wishes everyone a happy Republic Day.

Jinder Mahal/Bollywood Boyz vs. Drew McIntyre/Indus Sher

McIntyre’s entrance cuts off Mahal’s usual speech. Drew says he’s glad to have Mahal back but you NEVER interrupt Ric Flair. Mahal has a nice three man team but McIntyre has his own three man band of destruction and introduces Indus Sher, who are about McIntyre’s size. McIntyre and Mahal (now mostly bald) start things off but it’s off to Sunil Singh, who hits McIntyre in the face.

That goes very badly for him and it’s off to Rinku for a big elbow. Saurav comes in for a World’s Strongest Slam so Samir comes in to get beaten up as well. Samir is tossed over the top and onto Sunil and it’s the good guys clearing the ring as we take a break. Back with Samir slipping over Rinku’s back and hammering away before handing it off to Mahal. Rinku goes shoulder first into the post and Sunil gets two off a top rope elbow.

Samir’s armbar doesn’t exactly work so he tries to pull on Rinku’s leg instead. Mahal has some more luck with the armbar but he makes the misatke of going after Saurav, allowing Rinku to get in a shot to the face. The hot tag bring in McIntyre to clean house but a jumping knee cuts off the Claymore. Saurav comes in and wrecks the Boyz, leaving McIntyre to Claymore Mahal. A side slam/middle rope elbow combination (the replay was quite the relief as I had thought it was a horribly missed legdrop) finishes Sunil at 9:04.

Rating: C. They had the more experienced guys in the main event here and that was a good idea as it felt like a better match all around. McIntyre and Mahal having enough of a history worked out well and it means something to have Mahal in there, just due to the success that he had. Perfectly fine main event here and McIntyre being in there makes sense as one of the faces of the company.

A bunch of people and the dance troupe come out to applaud to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I’d call this a rather nice success as the whole point was just getting a little sample of what you could see in an NXT India. The wrestlers need a lot of experience (which is where a Performance Center can come into play) but they were far from terrible here. Granted it helps to be in there with some of the best workers in WWE, but that’s the exact right idea. Have some veterans in there who can keep things as under control as possible. It’s not a great show on its own, but it did what it was supposed to do and felt cool. There is a long way to go, but for a start, it worked out well.

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Monday Night Raw – January 25, 2021: A Horse, A Haircut And Red Makeup

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 25, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and the big draw this week is the double return of Drew McIntyre and Goldberg. I’m not sure how much of an appeal that is supposed to have but WWE certainly sees something in it. Also we get a rematch from last week with Asuka defending the Women’s Title against Alexa Bliss, because WWE doesn’t like waiting on much. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Drew McIntyre to get things going. Drew is rather emotional to be back here and thanks everyone who sent him well wishes. The virus is a horrible thing but we are going to get through it together. Speaking of things we will get through, this Sunday it is going to be Drew McIntyre vs. Bill Goldberg for the WWE Title. Goldberg was 173-0 in WCW and ran through the Rock like he was nothing….and then he disappeared.

The last thing to go in a heavyweight fighter is his power but Goldberg has started a new streak. Every champion he has challenged since returning to WWE has gone down but on Sunday, Drew is ending the streak. Cue Miz and John Morrison to mock the idea of King Kong vs. Godzilla on Sunday because one of them could wind up injured after the match. That opens a door for a Money in the Bank cash-in because whoever wins is going to be a sitting duck.

Miz promises to win the title but here’s Goldberg to cut them off. Goldberg: “You, me, Sunday, you’re next.” The staredown is on so Miz and Morrison make some jokes from the apron, earning themselves a double beatdown, with Miz taking the spear and Morrison getting Claymored. Another staredown ensues as I beg of WWE to end the Miz thing on Sunday because it is managing to hurt a story that had almost nothing going for it in the first place.

Charlotte says she knows how to perform well under pressure. Tonight she wants Shayna Baszler to bring her invisible crown because it’s one thing to pretend to be a queen and another to actually be one. On Sunday, she is entering the Royal Rumble and defending the Tag Team Titles. As for Lacey Evans and Ric Flair, she has seen her father in some dark places before but this might be the darkest. She’ll be ready though, because she is Ms. Wrestlemania.

Charlotte vs. Shayna Baszler

Nia Jax is here with Shayna Baszler but Asuka isn’t here because she and Charlotte are the most worthless Tag Team Champions in the history of the title. Charlotte starts fast by kicking Baszler down and hitting a baseball slide on Jax. The Figure Eight goes on in a hurry but Jax comes in for the DQ at 56 seconds. Good, as there is no reason to burn off Charlotte vs. Baszler in a real match here.

Post match the beatdown is on with Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke coming in for the failed save. Lacey Evans is in as well and the six woman is ready for after the break.

Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke/Charlotte vs. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax/Lacey Evans

Mandy and Lacey exchange wristlocks to start before it’s off to Dana to knock Lacey down again. Shayna and Charlotte come in with Shayna kicking away at the leg. That’s enough to send Charlotte over for another tag to Mandy, who takes Baszler into the corner. The alternating beatdown is on with Charlotte kneeing Baszler outside. Charlotte stops to glare at Nia and Lacey but gets rammed into the apron. Shayna throws her back inside….and doesn’t beat the count at 4:44. Everyone seems confused and I can’t imagine that was the planned finish because it just ended out of nowhere.

And never mind as we come back from a break with the match continuing thanks to a decision made by Adam Pearce during the break. Jax runs Brooke over with a clothesline and taking her into the corner. Shayna does the stomp down onto Dana’s arm but Dana gets over for the tag to Mandy anyway. Everything breaks down and Charlotte chases Lacey over the barricade as Dana gets the tag again. Nia misses a charge into the post and Dana gets two off a running flip neckbreaker. A powerbomb into a chokeslam plants Dana again and the legdrop finishes for Nia at 14:05 (counting the break).

Rating: D+. Again. They did it again. One more time, Nia and Shayna beat Dana and Mandy because that’s all these four know how to do. The law of diminishing returns has been in effect for months with these teams but here we are again. Speaking of again, Charlotte and Asuka still might as well not be a team, so hopefully they lose the titles on Sunday and end this worthless idea.

We look at Mace beating Xavier Woods last week.

Mustafa Ali loved what he saw and is ready to destroy Kofi Kingston.

Earlier today, Ali talked about coming after Kofi because he had the greatest moment in his life after Ali had the worst moment of his life.

Xavier Woods vs. Slapjack

Woods charges at him to start but gets kneed down for his efforts. Slapjack bangs up his knee on a missed double stomp though and Woods strikes away. Woods nails a running knee to finish Slapjack for the pin at 2:49.

Post match Retribution beats Woods down, with Ali grabbing a chair. Instead he sits down in it though and says for someone who acts like a king, Woods looks like a peasant right now. Ali has heard that Kofi won’t be competing in the Royal Rumble, but don’t worry because he’ll take Kofi’s place.

Riddle is on his way to the ring when he runs into R-Truth, who has heard about a birthday party. Truth thinks it is for him because it was his birthday last week and they might have 24 karat gold carrots for him. Goat noises are shared.

It’s time for the talk show before a match involving the people in the talk show, this time featuring the Hurt Business in the VIP Lounge. MVP is ready to own the Royal Rumble and tells Cedric Alexander to focus on the task at hand tonight. Bobby Lashley talks about how the team is draped in gold (and silver) and they are just beginning. They have a present for MVP in the form of a THB chain. MVP is rather impressed but Cedric and Shelton argue over the design.

Cue R-Truth to ask about the surprise party, because THB must mean Truth Happy Birthday. Shelton: “Truth, now is not the time.” Truth: “Is it a dance break?” Lashley apologizes for forgetting his birthday last week but he has a gift inside the ring. Here comes the Menagerie of Numskulls to go after the title, with the Hurt Business getting involved. MVP isn’t impressed, but here’s Riddle with the Final Flash to knock him silly. It takes talent to squeeze in two stupid ideas into one segment so well done.

Edge is back tonight. Works for me.

R-Truth asks Adam Pearce if he can enter the Money in the Bank match. AJ Styles and Omos come up with AJ offering his services in a qualifying match. Styles says he’s benevolent, so Truth says he’s a Capricorn. Pearce says if Truth can beat AJ, he’ll consider a Rumble spot. Truth things Omos is a Taurus, like the one he had that broke down one time. Confused Truth is still one of my favorite things in WWE.

We look back at the opening segment.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison

Both are officially in the Rumble and Miz is in Morrison’s corner. Morrison takes him down with a headlock to start but Sheamus is back up with a hammerlock. The chinlock keeps Morrison down until he fights up, only to get backdropped right back down. Morrison gets in a shot to the throat and break dances over for a kick to the back. Sheamus pops up and grabs the Irish Curse for two before heading to the top.

The top rope clothesline is dropkicked out of the air with a shot to the knee, setting up a running knee to put Sheamus on the apron. Back in and Morrison works on the leg with a leg crank and an elbow to the knee. Sheamus uses the good leg to kick his way to freedom, setting up a release Rock Bottom for two more. The Cloverleaf is blocked and it’s a knee to the face to set up White Noise to finish Morrison at 9:33.

Rating: C. As usual, this worked out well and I’m not surprised by this. They’re always good together and that was on display again. It’s a little weird to have the heel as the speed and the face as the power, but they kept Miz to a minimum and let the guys do their thing, which is exactly the right idea.

Post match Miz wants a handicap match so that’s on as well, as we now have a third Miz and Morrison segment in the first two hours.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Sheamus

No tags here as Morrison takes out Sheamus’ knee to start so Miz can get a DDT for two. An enziguri into a clothesline puts Sheamus on the floor, with Morrison nailing a nice dive. Sheamus gets sent hard into the barricade for some running shots to the head. Back in and Miz stomps Sheamus down in the corner but Sheamus manages to send Morrison outside.

A running clothesline drops Miz and there’s a powerslam to the returning Morrison. Sheamus Regal Rolls Miz onto Morrison and then sends them outside for the double top rope clothesline. Morrison breaks up the Brogue Kick back inside but Sheamus shrugs off the Skull Crushing Finale. The Brogue Kick drops Morrison but it’s the Skull Crushing Finale to finish Sheamus at 6:49.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I thought I would have, and as much as I want to put Miz into that briefcase and send him to the planet Flaflooga, Sheamus got into the zone that he rarely reaches anymore and that’s a good thing. He really can do the power thing well and Miz and Morrison work well together in spots like this. Sheamus and Morrison have some very good chemistry together as well so I’m not sure why I’m surprised I had a good time here.

Ric Flair and Lacey Evans grapple a bit when Charlotte comes in. Lacey leaves and Flair says he’s doing what he wants to do. Charlotte says he spent his money on everyone but his family but this isn’t cute anymore. Flair is going from legend to old man and she isn’t the bad guy. Ric glares at her as Lacey comes back in and hits her with the Woman’s Right. Lacey asks Flair to explain the WOO as they leave Charlotte laying.

AJ Styles vs. R-Truth

Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Truth sending him over the top but getting caught in a staredown with Styles. Back in and AJ misses the Phenomenal Forearm, allowing Truth to start up the John Cena finishing sequence. There’s the Shuffle but the AA is countered into the Calf Crusher for the tap at 2:35.

We look back at Randy Orton being all masked and creepy. I think this is just airing the same segment from last week.

And now, Alexa’s Playground with Bliss reciting Mary Mary Quite Contrary. She loves what she and Fiend did to Randy Orton two weeks ago and looks at a video of last week’s promo (which we just saw). Bliss thinks he looks better now and says that she just wanted to have some fun with Asuka in her playground. Now we look at Bliss watching herself and Asuka from last week (after watching her talk on the big screens in the Thunderdome). Bliss throws in some Ring Around The Rosey and her face turns into the Fiend for the LET ME IN. Total time spent on watching recaps: seven minutes.

Riddle vs. Hurt Business

Gauntlet match and if Riddle wins, he gets a title shot at Lashley. Shelton Benjamin starts things off and counters a kick into a spinebuster for two. The chinlock goes on and Shelton adds a knee but gets pulled into a guillotine. Shelton tries to muscle him into a suplex so Riddle knees him in the head. A rollup should have Riddle pinned but Cedric Alexander gets on the apron. Shelton yells at Alexander and gets rolled up for the pin at 4:48. MVP is in next and, as he yells at Shelton and Alexander for arguing, gets pulled into a kneebar for the tap at 5:24. Cedric is in last and we take a break.

Back with Cedric putting a knee in Riddle’s back and cranking on the arm. Riddle fights up so Cedric hits a heck of a dropkick for two. The abdominal stretch goes on but Riddle reverses into a suplex, which is countered into a DDT. Back up and Riddle kicks him in the head to start the real comeback.

A t-bone suplex sends Alexander flying but he gets the knees up to block the Broton. Riddle grabs a German suplex to put Alexander down again, only to get pulled into a brainbuster for two more. A quick triangle choke is countered into a powerbomb but Riddle hangs onto the choke. Back up and Riddle grabs a rollup for the pin at 12:24.

Rating: C. Riddle vs. Shelton and MVP were about as nothing as you could get but Alexander had a good match. That being said, the whole Hurt Business in-fighting stuff is still one of the worst things going on around here as of late. It isn’t that surprising though, as the team is good, polished and feel like a threat so they must be stamped out.

Post match Lashley comes out to give Riddle the Hurt Lock to leave him laying.

The WWE Network is moving to Peacock. If it doesn’t increase the price and you get the same things, I’m good with it.

We look at the opening sequence again.

Edge joins us for the first time in several months to talk about how you aren’t guaranteed tomorrow. Ten years ago, he went to Wrestlemania XXVII and left as champion. Then he lost everything because of his neck and took nine years to get back. He remembers telling his mom that he wanted to be a wrestler and she told him you have to go do it.

With that in mind, he is entering the Royal Rumble. He doesn’t have much time left so he is going to fight with everything he has to make this far fetched dream come true. If you have been with him on this ride until now, you have to try. A world without dreamers and fighters is a much less magical place. He quotes Henry Ford, who said if you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. Edge thinks he can, and he’ll see us at the Royal Rumble.

Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Alexa Bliss

Bliss is challenging in a rematch from last week. Asuka takes her down into an armbar to start but misses the hip attack. Bliss kicks her to the floor….and then gets on the rocking horse that appears in the ring. Back from a break with Bliss fighting out of a chinlock and getting kicked in the face. Asuka hits another kick in the corner but Bliss’ old music starts playing and now she has her regular gear on (and longer hair).

Bliss sends Asuka face first into the corner and then the lights go out, with Bliss going into the other corner. She does Bray Wyatt’s lean backwards and becomes Fiend Bliss. Asuka’s knee to the face just annoys Bliss and the Asuka Lock but Bliss powers out of it. The Mandible Claw goes on but here’s Randy Orton with red makeup because this company doesn’t know how burns work either for an RKO to Bliss and the no contest at 12:33.

Rating: F. I like Randy Orton, I like Alexa Bliss and I like Asuka. If you put all three of those people into a match and angle, I should like the product. Instead, this was like an eight year old on a sugar rush saying “And then this happens and then this happens but it doesn’t count and then this happens and then the show is over.” They had part of a match and then it was something about a horse and a goddess walking into an RKO. I would say I probably got some of the details wrong in there, but I don’t think there were any details involved in the first place.

Overall Rating: D. And yet, somehow it’s better than last week’s show. This show was going along somewhat nicely and then went FLYING off the rails in the end, with one dumb idea after another. Maybe it’s all the time that they have to fill, but the more I think about it, the more worried I am that this is really what they think is the best use of Raw every week. Between the wrestlers working multiple times, the people watching promos from last week and people doing completely stupid things just because the script calls for it, this was another shining example of how bad Raw can be and that’s a scary thought going forward.

Results

Charlotte b. Shayna Baszler via DQ when Nia Jax interfered

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler/Lacey Evans b. Charlotte/Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke – Legdrop to Brooke

Xavier Woods b. Slapjack – Knee to the face

Sheamus b. John Morrison – White Noise

Miz/John Morrison b. Sheamus – Skull Crushing Finale

AJ Styles b. R-Truth – Calf Crusher

Riddle b. Hurt Business – Rollup to Alexander

Asuka vs. Alexa Bliss went to a no contest

 

 

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2012 (2013 Redo): Here’s A Fresh Start

Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

The opening video is of course about going to Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry

Long video on Cena and all the stuff he does for WWE. The man is insanely committed to that company.

Divas of Doom/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Kelly Kelly

We recap Ryder getting hurt at the hands of Kane. This was during the period where Ryder went from one of the hottest things in the company and US Champion to a rag doll that Kane destroyed over and over and over in the span of a few weeks until his push was completely destroyed. Eve blamed Cena for Ryder having his back broken for some reason.

Kane vs. John Cena

BE A STAR!

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

This is right after Brodus redebuted as the Funkasaurus so he was still a new character at this point. Brodus dances a lot, Drew punches him in the corner, Brodus headbutts him and hits the cross body (called WHAT THE FUNK) for the pin in about a minute.

Buy Slim Jims! For the troops!

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Punk finally gets his hands on Ziggler and puts on an abdominal stretch, complete with a wrapped toe and slicking back his hair ala Ziggler. Dolph heads to the floor and gets taken out by a suicide dive but shoves Punk off the top rope once they get back inside. Ziggler drops about eight elbows in a row and a jumping version gets two. We hit the chinlock with Ziggler cranking on the head way more than necessary.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going as we were all waiting on the Ace stuff. The feud would go on for weeks until Jericho finally showed up to give Punk someone with charisma to feud with. The near falls at the end were a lot better than Ace, but it occurs to me that this was pretty much the same match he had last year. Good stuff though.

Rumble by the Numbers:

30 Superstars

1 winner

31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble

21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania

695 entrants who have been eliminated

39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)

13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane

11 eliminations for Kane in 2001

194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show

421,883 people who have attended the Rumble

62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record

3 wins for Austin

1 second that Santino lasted in 2009

2 women who have competed in the Rumble

1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each

27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four

55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

Ricardo takes Cody down and pounds away before proposing an alliance with Foley of all people. They actually do team up and toss Gabriel, allowing Ricardo to do a CM Punk knee slide. We keep the comedy going with Santino at #9 and Ricardo runs from the Cobra. Santino beats on Ricardo and literally rolls him around the ring before pulling his trunks up and tossing Rodriguez.

Kofi Kingston is #11 and hits a double springboard clothesline before hitting a double Boom Drop. In at #12 is Jerry Lawler (Cole: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”) and he causes Miz to hit Cody by mistake. Lawler speeds things up and hits the middle rope punch with the lowered strap, only to be put out by Cody. Ezekiel Jackson is #13 and gets to do the usual power moves on each guy while the others lay around.

Jinder Mahal is #14 and the fans start chanting USA, even though the only two Americans in this match are Rhodes and Miz. Great Khali comes in at #15 and Mahal panics. Everyone gets chops and Mahal is out in just a few seconds. Jackson tries to pound away and is put out almost immediately as well. Hunico is #16 on that stupid bicycle of his and hits a spinning cross body on Miz and his Angle Slam on Cody.

Sheamus is #22 to give us some A level star power. Well maybe B+ level. Things speed up with Sheamus destroying everyone and tossing Kofi out. There are the ten forearms in the ropes to Cody and ten to Miz as well. The Zig Zag is countered and Road Dogg is another surprise return at #23. He gets to clean house for a bit and earns a “you still got it” chant. In far less than 90 seconds, Jey Uso is #24.

Rating: A-. This is one of those Rumbles that is great fun as you watch it live but it loses some steam on a second viewing. They spent a bit too much time on nostalgia and funny ideas here but they were still really good ideas. The ending with Sheamus and Jericho ROCKED and I have no idea why they never got to have a long PPV match. This is a really good Rumble but it never reaches that excellent level that some of them get to.

Sheamus celebrates a lot to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bella Twins/Divas of Doom vs. Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kane vs. John Cena

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Just like last year, not much difference here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/01/29/royal-rumble-2012/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2012 (Original): Uh….About This One…..

Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

The Road to Wrestlemania begins tonight, even with the Elimination Chamber being in a month and messing things up all over again. The even money is on either Jericho, Orton or Sheamus as the dark horse. This probably marks the only time that he’s ever been considered dark in his life but it’s a special occasion. Oh and there are two world title matches tonight too if you care about that sort of thing. Let’s get to it.

Now we’ve been promised a great main event here tonight. They wouldn’t lie to us. Not a wrestling company.

The opening video is your usual one for something like this: everyone saying they want to go to the Rumble.

Smackdown World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show vs. Mark Henry

It says a lot when the Smackdown main event is opening the show. It’s been like 2 years since they’ve gotten a main event. Anyway, Bryan is the champion in case the zombie apocalypse has occurred and you have no access to finding out who champion was and you’ve somehow found my flash drive. Henry legit injured his knee on Smackdown so it should be interesting to see if he does much tonight.

Pin, submission or escape to win. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Bryan goes for a quick escape but the monsters pull him down. Show takes Henry down with a quick shoulder block and then splashes him against the cage. He does it again but I guess he’s not Bobby Lashley as the cage doesn’t break, even on the third attempt. Bryan tries to escape but Show makes the save.

Show takes over and throws Bryan into the cage. The big punch hits the cage and Bryan goes after….the leg. That works about as it does every time you go after a giant’s leg and Show rams him into various things. Bryan kicks him in the knee to take him down and then goes after Bryan. Danny calls for the door to be open but Henry goes for the save. Show kicks Henry in the face to take over again.

Bryan gets thrown into the cage a bunch of times and a hard slam puts him down. Henry comes back as we’re into the regular formula of one guy stays down while the others fight. Mark misses a charge into the cage and Show spears him which Bryan gets two off of. Bryan escapes a chokeslam and tries a LeBell Lock on Show but Henry makes the save. Henry loads up the Slam on Bryan but Show knocks him out with the punch for two as Bryan saves. Bryan goes to escape but Show grabs onto him. After holding on for awhile, Bryan falls down and escapes for the win at 9:13.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and hopefully it gets Bryan away from these monsters. There’s only so much he can do against guys this size without looking ridiculous. They laid around a lot in this but that’s the accepted formula in triple threats. By that I mean one person would stay down for way too long off a basic move but Henry needed the break given his knee. Not bad but it felt like a Smackdown main event instead of a PPV title match.

Bryan does his overblown celebration post match.

Elimination Chamber promo with Amazing Grace playing over Sheamus talking.

Cena video on his mainstream media appearances and international appeal. Basically filler.

Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Tamina/Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly

Title defenses? What are those? I didn’t know Beth was alive anymore. Tamina and Natalya start us off and thankfully it lasts longer than their match this past Friday. Off to Eve who I thought turned heel. Eve does her usual stupid dancing offense and it’s off to Beth. Off to a Bella who gets two and hooks a chinlock. Booker actually asks why Lawler likes the Bellas. Alicia comes in and beats on whichever Bella that is. Does it really even matter? Off to Eve and everyone goes outside where Kelly hits a big dive. Beth slaps her way in and the Glam Slam kills Kelly dead at 5:23.

Rating: D+. The dive was cool and this was one of the better Divas matches I can remember in awhile, but is there any point to this division anymore? That’s the first time I remember seeing Beth in forever and the match was an 8 person tag instead of something for the title. When’s the last time she defended it on TV? Based on what I can find, her last three defenses have been at TLC, Survivor Series and Vengeance.

Video on Ryder being injured.

Ryder is here in a back brace and says he’s here to watch Cena beat Kane up. He runs into Johnny Ace who has a personal room ready for Zack. Eve comes up to run her mouth on Ace and calls him vindictive, pompous and a word I couldn’t understand. Eve wheels him into the dressing room.

John Cena vs. Kane

Mostly booing for Cena here. Cena goes straight for Kane but is taken down quickly. The dueling chants begin and Cena fires off punches, knocking Kane to the floor. They brawl outside and Kane goes knee first into the steps. AA doesn’t work as Cena falls forward. Off to the chinlock and the match slows way down. Cena fights up and we get the boo/yay punch sequence. Uppercut by Kane gets two as does a suplex and it’s back to the chinlock.

Cena fights up and makes a comeback but Kane punches him right back down. A corner splash hits Cena but the second is countered by a drop toehold into the middle buckle. The idea is that Cena can’t really hurt Kane, as in the story to almost all of Kane’s matches. Cena counters the smother into a Crossface. Kane escapes and a side slam gets two for the masked man. The top rope clothesline puts Cena down and here comes the chokeslam. Cena ducks it and tries his shoulder blocks but Kane pops up. ProtoBomb looks to set up the Shuffle but Kane pops up and kicks him back down.

They go to the corner and Cena knocks him off. Cena hits a top rope Five Knuckle Shuffle and tries the AA but Kane escapes. Cena goes for the knee and tries the STF but gets kicked to the floor. Kane rams him into the apron and they fight up the ramp for the double countout. I forgot to time it but it ran roughly 15 minutes.

Rating: D+. Very slow match here and pretty boring. The idea that Cena can’t hurt Kane got boring quickly and the ending didn’t help things at all. I don’t really get where they’re going with this, but I’d assume it’s going towards something about Cena being evil but rising above it. Just dull for the most part and the same stuff done over and over again.

Cena rams something that looked like equipment into Kane and they go into the backstage area. Kane is sent into trashcans which doesn’t really stop him. The Big Fried Freak grabs a chair and pops Cena with it about four times. Wouldn’t you know it we’re right next to Ryder’s dressing room? Kane goes in and smothers Ryder into presumably death.

Kane comes back out with Ryder in the wheelchair. He wheels Ryder into the ring and here’s Eve to try to make the save. This goes about as well as you would think and Ryder gets tombstoned. Cena finally comes back to fight Kane but walks into a chokeslam. Kane leaves and Ryder gets taken out on a stretcher.

Don’t Be A Bully.

Same kind of video on Rock from earlier. He talks about his movie and this is just eating up time.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

Remember what I said about filler? Brodus dances and jiggles as Drew hits him. A headbutt to the chest puts Drew down and there’s the suplex. I know because Brodus said suplex right before he hit it. Splash in the corner and What The Funk ends this in 1:15.

We recap Punk vs. Ziggler. Punk has been screwed by Johnny Ace multiple times now and keeps calling him a failure and all those things. Ace has finally said that he’s going to screw Punk as he’s the guest referee. He’s being evaluated tomorrow night so the question is will he screw Punk because he’s got nothing to lose or will he play it fair?

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Johnny Ace is referee. Actually scratch that as he says he’ll be outside referee and there will be a regular one in the ring. We get big match intros as we should. Punk gets a nice reaction. Before the bell, Ace comes in and throws Vickie out. My goodness they’re actually following continuity! Punk won a match a few weeks ago that ensured Vickie wouldn’t be out here if you remember that.

Ziggler goes for a quick Fameasser and Punk goes for a quick GTS which both miss. Ace is texting already. They start with a nice sequence of counters and avoiding moves. This is going to be a chess match. Sunset flip gets two for the champ and he tries the Vice but Ziggy gets to the ropes. Punk takes it to the mat quickly and we go outside. Punk gets in a few shots and goes up top back in but Ziggler knocks him off for two. The champ is holding his neck.

Neckbreaker puts Punk down and Ziggler drops about ten elbows, finishing with a jumping elbow for a one count. Off to a chinlock for a few moments. Punk fights up and they slug it out. Ziggler grabs a sleeper which Punk reverses into an Anaconda attempt. Back to the sleeper but it’s not all the way on. Ziggler rolls off and a dropkick gets two. He tries a running Fameasser but gets caught in a helicopter bomb for two.

Punk fires off strikes and a swinging neckbreaker to put Dolph down. There are the knee and bulldog and Punk has the fire in his eyes. GTS is countered into a catapult but Punk lands on the middle rope. Ziggler rolls through a cross body for two with tights. Punk gets a running boot for a delayed two. This has been FAR better than any other match tonight. Punk slams him to set up the elbow but stops because it’s near Ace. He goes up anyway and the elbow gets two. It also draws a Randy Savage chant and a smile from me.

Another GTS attempt is countered by Ziggler and Punk is shoved into the referee. Ace tries to wake him up and Punk gets the Vice. Ziggler taps but there’s no referee because Ace is trying to revive him. Punk lets it go and yells at Ace. Ziggler rolls him up but Punk reverses into a rollup of his own. It would get three but there’s still no referee. John rolls the referee back in and keeps checking on him.

Punk finally shoves Ace and yells at him. Ziggler tries to jump him but gets caught in the GTS. Ace gets knocked down by Dolph’s feet and thinks Punk intentionally hit him. There’s STILL no referee to count the pin, but he’s on his knees now. Ace won’t count so Punk says the next GTS is for him. Punk loads up another GTS on Ziggler but Dolph counters into a Fameasser in a SWEET counter but it only gets two.

Ziggler is back into it now and he pounds away at Punk like there’s no tomorrow. The regular referee is back up now. Here comes the Zig Zag but Punk catches it into a slingshot. GTS hits but Ace comes in and….counts the pin along with the regular referee so that Punk wins at 14:42.

Rating: B. Not a classic or anything but it was by far the best match of the night and a great breath of air to this horrible show. Punk and Ziggler are just great together and in the match, everything made perfect sense. Ace didn’t see who hit him and that it was an accident so he was justifiably mad. He spent a lot of time with the referee but there never was any actual cheating.

Ace hands the referee the belt so Punk can take it. He applauds Punk as well.

Ad for WWE on Youtube which will have 9 original shows apparently. It debuts Wednesday.

Rumble by the Numbers promo.

Royal Rumble

Miz is #1 and he has the AWESOME white balloons to go through. Elimination Chamber is in three weeks. My goodness. Alex Riley is second in a nice twist. Miz takes him down in the corner and Booker is talking about royal jelly. Riley throws him to the apron but Miz lands on the apron. Riley charges like an idiot and is out before #3 comes in. Third is R-Truth and I’m so glad they’re not calling this random anymore. It would just be laughable.

Truth puts him on the apron as well but Miz gets back in. The Finale is escapes but the Little Jimmy is avoided. Truth tries….something that I think was suppsed to be a forward suplex but turned into a powerslam. Miz is thrown to the apron and Cody is #4. Cody hits a quick Beautiful Disaster and then teams up with Miz to work on Truth. Cody takes awhile working on Truth and is thrown to the apron but he hangs on.

Miz takes Truth down with a neckbreaker and Cody gets back in. #5 is Justin Gabriel and he goes up top to take the heels out with a cross body. Flying shoulder takers Miz down and a Blue Thunder Bomb does the same to Cody. The clock seems to be going very quickly. Miz is put down again by a spinwheel kick but Cody gets in a shot to slow Gabriel down. The feuds pair off with Justin and Cody trading chops.

Primo is #6 and unfortunately there’s no Rosa. He actually cleans house with clotheslines and martial arts. He takes all four guys down and never gets hit at all. A NICE headscissors puts Justin down and Cody misses Beautiful Disaster to Truth. The spinning forearm takes Cody down but Miz throws Truth out. Truth pulls Miz out and hits a Little Jimmy on the floor, but Miz went under the ropes so he’s not eliminated.

In at #7 is MICK FOLEY! He, ahem, “runs” to the ring and takes Primo down quickly. Officially there are 5 people in at the moment but Miz is on the floor. Primo charges and gets backdropped out and is eliminated by Mick. Cody jumps Foley as Justin takes a breather. There’s a Bang Bang knee in the corner. Double Arm DDT takes Cody down and Justin helps with the elimination attempt.

Alberto Del…..and never mind it’s Ricardo at #8. In a hilarious bit, he comes out in a rusted out 80s car with a Hefty bag covering a busted out window. He’s in the scarf and tights also. This is GREAT. Justin and Foley are stunned. There’s a Ricardo chant. He runs around for awhile and actually puts Justin out as Foley stands there. Santino is #9 as we’re in the comedy portion of the Rumble. Cody is still down in the corner and Miz is on the mat.

Ricardo comes right at Santino but runs from the Cobra being teased. Santino beats up Ricardo for a bit, gives him a wedgie, and tosses him. Foley and Santino are the only ones left and I kid you not: it’s Socko vs. the Cobra. They circle each other with their hand puppets on and this is hilarious. Epico is in at #10. Cobra, Socko, bye bye. The Cobra and Sock collide and it’s hilarious still.

Miz gets back in to fight Foley as Cody tosses Santino. Socko to Miz but Cody comes from behind to toss him. Miz and Cody are the only ones in now but Kofi comes in at #11 to keep them from fighting. Kofi does the running dive through the ropes into a clothesline to take Cody down. He speeds things way up and hits a springboard double clothesline and a double Boom Drop. Miz is thrown to the apron but Cody makes the save.

A dropkick from Cody puts Kofi down and the clock is already ticking again. In at #12 is….JERRY LAWLER!!! That was a nice surprise and he ducks a right hand from Miz. Both heels go down from right hands and dropkicks. A slam puts Miz down and Lawler drops the strap and hits the middle rope punch, but Cody puts him out with little effort. Still though that was a cool surprise.

It’s Kofi, Cody, Miz and now Big Zeke Jackson with new tights at #13. King is back on commentary and at least he lasted longer than he did in 1997 I believe. Zeke pounds on everyone but doesn’t try to eliminate anyone until Jinder Mahal comes in to bore us #14. Cole tries to make us care by talking about the color of his head wrap which isn’t a turban apparently. He takes forever to get in so Zeke beats on everyone for awhile. The fans chant USA, so I guess they don’t like Zeke and Kofi and are supporting Cody and Miz?

We hit the halfway point as Great Khali is #15. Jinder is a little nervous. I forgot he existed so I guess the Hall of Pain was effective. Khali chops everyone and Jinder is easily tossed after trying to fight back. Jackson goes after Khali but takes a chop of his own. A clothesline puts Jackson out. It’s Miz, Rhodes, Kingston and Khali in at the moment and we’ve had 11 eliminations and 15 entrants.

Cody is dropped onto the apron by Kofi. Here’s #16 in the form of Hunico on a tricked out lowrider bike. Camacho is with him but leaves. A nice spinning springboard cross body takes Kofi down and things speed up. He hits his modified Angle Slam on Cody but is quickly chopped down. We’re about 24 minutes in and already at #17, which is BOOKER T! Sorry but you have to shout when any old person is in these things. Internet policy don’t you know.

Booker hammers on everyone but Khali stares him down. Booker goes at him and is chopped down quickly. The ring is at its fullest so far I believe with six guys in it. Khali chops Rhodes in the corner and Miz throws Kofi to the apron. He skins the cat but Miz kicks him down. Kofi lands in a handstand and WALKS BACKWARDS ON HIS HANDS TO GET TO THE STEPS! That was INCREDIBLE!!!

Dolph Ziggler is in at #18 and goes after the guy that has easily just trumped the wall climb by Morrison. Not much happens until Jim Duggan is #19, getting one of the best reactions of the night. There are seven or eight in there at the moment: Duggan, Khali, Hunico, Rhodes, Miz, Kingston, Booker and Ziggler. So it’s 8 and we’ve had 19 entrants and 11 eliminations. Duggan gets in some shots but Rhodes puts him out with a clothesline to the back.

Khali, Ziggler and Cody team up to put out Booker but Khali goes out instead. #20 is….Michael Cole. There’s your gimmick for the Rumble. And he has the wrestling gear on. How does the screening process for these entrants go? We keep the camera on him for far too long as we now have Cole, Miz, Kofi, Cody, Hunico and Ziggler in now. Cody tries to put Ziggler out as Cole dances around. If JR is in this thing I’ll need a stiff drink. #21 is…..Kharma! Wow she’s back early but they’ve been playing up the whole only two women ever thing.

She goes right after Cole and runs him over so hard the headgear comes off. Cole jumps over the top rope to the apron as Booker and Lawler jump up to eliminate him. Ziggler goes after Kharma who plants her with the Implant Buster. She throws Hunico WAY up and out. Ziggler dumps her but that was awesome. Ok so we now have Ziggler, Cody, Miz and Kofi in there. Good to see the young guys getting their chance.

#22 is Sheamus and the place goes nuts. He’s in red now. House is cleaned with everyone but Kofi getting hit. Powerslam to Ziggler and one for Miz as well. He goes after Kofi as well as Cole gives us stats on the announcers. Sheamus dumps Kofi to get us down to three in the ring at the moment. There are the ten forearms to Cody and ten for Miz as well. #23 is the Road Dogg to very little reaction.

He hammers on everyone in sight and hits the three punches and dance. There’s the Shake Rattling Kneedrop which has a name that I don’t remember. Pumphandle slam takes Miz down and the fans chant You Still Got It. Jey Uso is #24 but Jimmy is in street clothes so it’ll just be one. He superkicks Miz as Vickie screams. The Umaga running hip shot hits Roadie and Ziggler is draped on the ropes. It’s Miz, Sheamus, Jey Uso, Road Dogg, Ziggler and Cody at the moment. We’ve had 18 eliminated and 24 entrants so far.

#25 is Jack Swagger. He and Ziggler hook up and it’s Barrett at #26 with new music. Barrett dumps Road Dogg and gets in a fight with Sheamus. #27, the lucky number, is David Otunga. Well so much for it being lucky this year. He takes forever to get to the ring as we have I think 8 people in there right now. Otunga legitimately won a case in court earlier this week so at least he has something to fall back on.

The ring is pretty full here as we wait on Orton to clear them out. There’s him, Jericho and one other spot that I can’t think of to go. There are eight in at the moment but I’ll wait until #30 gets in to recap them. #28 is Orton and the place goes banana. Orton runs people over and hits a Thesz Press on Barrett. He cleans house but Rhodes jumps him. Orton puts him in Elevated DDT position but has to fight Ziggler off. We get a double DDT instead. Ok then.

Orton tosses Uso then RKOs Barrett to toss him out. #29 is Chris Jericho so who’s #30. This could be very interesting. Jericho goes after everyone and tosses Otunga. We have Swagger, Sheamus, Jericho, Ziggler, Orton, Rhodes and Miz. Here’s #30 and it’s……Big Show. Well that’s kind of a letdown but it’s a good place for a giant. Sheamus throws Swagger out as Show gets in.

The final group: Orton, Sheamus, Jericho, Miz, Cody, Ziggler and Big Show. He puts out Miz and Cody on his own to get us down to five. There goes Ziggler to get us down to the final four. There’s plenty of time left as it’s only 10:37 and the show has been going on a little over 45 minutes. Everyone takes a corner and they all go after Big Show. He throws them off with ease but an RKO puts him down. Orton tosses Show by himself and Jericho tosses Orton.

It’s Sheamus vs. Jericho and they circle each other before going at it. This is kind of a surprising final pairing even though they were some of the early favorites. Jericho is in long tights too. Booker thinks Sheamus winning the Rumble would do something for his career. You can’t buy analysis like this people. Missile dropkick puts Sheamus down. Irish Curse looks to set up the Celtic Cross but Jericho escapes and puts Sheamus on the apron. Jericho kicks him down but Sheamus hooks the rope with his leg. He hits the slingshot to get back in and we keep going.

Sheamus puts Jericho into the apron but the Brogue Kick misses. Jericho gets back in and hooks the Walls of Jericho which Lawler questions the use of but it wore Sheamus down I guess. Jericho sets for a clothesline but Sheamus backdrops him to the apron. Chris hangs on and they go to the corner. Jericho has still gone over the top remember. Sheamus is knocked off and crotched so they’re both on the apron after having gone over the top. And they’re both back in so we continue. This final part has been good so far.

Codebreaker takes Sheamus down and Jericho tries to choke Sheamus over the top. For some reason he slaps Sheamus which is just freaking stupid. Jericho tries to fight back but the Codebreaker is countered and Sheamus sits him on the ropes. Jericho hangs on but Sheamus Brogue Kicks him down and wins the Rumble at 54:48.

Rating: B+. Very good Rumble with a great variety of comedy and wrestling to make it work. It felt somewhat formula based at times but everything in WWE does anymore. It was fun though and it seems that they’re pushing someone new (kind of) for a change which is the best you can ask for in these things.

Overall Rating: B-. Well the final two matches saved it but the first hour of so of this was AWFUL. That being said, the whole point of the show is the Rumble and that was great so I can’t complain about the overall show all that much. A good Rumble can save a show, and it plus the Raw Title match did here. Good show, but only because they have a nearly hour long match to cover up the first hour being awful.

Results
Daniel Bryan b. Mark Henry and Big Show – Bryan escaped the cage
Beth Phoenix/Bella Twins/Natalya b. Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Eve Torres – Glam Slam to Kelly
John Cena vs. Kane went to a double countout
Brodus Clay b. Drew McIntyre – What The Funk
CM Punk b. Dolph Ziggler – GTS
Sheamus won the Royal Rumble last eliminating Chris Jericho

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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New Column: Speak For Yourself

No one else should be doing it for you.

 

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-speak/




Main Event – January 14, 2021: Because Reasons

Main Event
Date: January 14, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Samoa Joe, Tom Phillips

The Road to the Royal Rumble continues and that includes a stop on the show that has descended right back into the least interesting and/or important in WWE. After a few weeks of actually trying something different around here, we are right back to where we have been for years with almost nothing of interest going on. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Akira Tozawa vs. Angel Garza

Garza takes him down with a leg crank to start but Tozawa quickly reverses into a headlock. Back up and a big headscissors is countered into a reverse sitout powerbomb to plant Tozawa. Garza TAKES OFF HIS PANTS and a kick to the ribs gets two. Something like a Bow and Arrow has Tozawa screaming and a right hand puts him down again. The middle rope hurricanrana sets up the Octopus on Garza though, followed by the spinning kick to Garza’s head for two. Tozawa charges once too often though and gets caught in the Wing Clipper for the pin at 5:03.

Rating: C-. Completely watchable match between two talented people who have way too much to do. Both of them have all of the charisma in the world and it is a shame to see them stuck on a show like this. Granted it’s a lot better than having them sit on the sidelines, but that doesn’t exactly make it easier to see them not getting an important change.

From Smackdown.

Tag Team Titles: Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode vs. Street Profits

The Profits are defending. Dawkins shoulders Ziggler down to start and then hits a dropkick for an early two. Ford comes in but gets taken into the corner for the double stomping. That’s too much from Ford, who makes the fiery comeback but Roode kicks the knee out to take him down again. Ford fights up again and hits the big flip dive onto both of them at ringside as we take a break with Ford’s leg in trouble.

Back with Dawkins suplexing Roode for two as Ford can barely stand on the apron. A cheap shot from behind takes Dawkins down though and we hit the front facelock. Ziggler rolls him around a bit until Dawkins fights up and gets in a knockdown shot. Despite Roode pulling Ford off the apron for a bit, the hot tag goes through anyway and Ford gets to clean house on one leg.

Ziggler catches him on top though and it’s a super X Factor for two. Ford hits a superkick for two but it’s back to Roode for two off a fisherman’s suplex. Dawkins gets knocked off the apron and it’s the spinebuster/Zig Zag combination to finish Ford for the pin and the titles at 14:29.

Rating: C+. I can go with the story of someone fighting through an injury and Ford did a great job of building sympathy throughout. At the same time, they had to go with the title change here as the Profits had beaten them so many times already that there was almost no choice but to switch the belts. It’s not like Roode and Ziggler are going to be the next big thing in the division anyway so this is perfectly acceptable.

Long recap of how Adam Pearce became #1 contender.

Humberto Carrillo vs. Slapjack

Mustafa Ali is here with Slapjack, who takes him down by the arm to start. Carrillo flips out of a wristlock into an armdrag into an armbar. A chop in the corner sets up a forearm to the back, followed by a springboard armdrag. The slingshot dropkick through the ropes keeps Slapjack in trouble but he slaps Carrillo out of the air as we take a break. Back with Slapjack’s dropkick getting two as Ali shouts a lot about commentary and the double arm crank goes on. Carrillo fights up and gets to the top for a flying elbow to the back of Slajpack’s face. Slapjack runs him over to take control again but the Snapback finishes at 9:48.

Rating: C-. Just a match here but I’m almost to the point where I can’t remember the last time Retribution lost a match. That’s rather impressive given where they were and I could go for more of them like this. Granted this wasn’t the best match and again qualifies as the dumping ground for talented wrestlers, but I’ll take what I can get.

We look back at Drew McIntyre retaining the WWE Title at Raw Legends but Goldberg came out to set up the Royal Rumble challenge.

Drew McIntyre accepts.

From Raw.

HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is in street clothes and we have neither a bell nor a referee. They slug it out to start with Orton getting the better of things before heading outside. HHH whips him into the steps and then near the announcers’ table to take over. That means it’s sledgehammer time, but then the lights start going out. HHH pulls back the sledgehammer….which is now on fire. The lights go out and HHH disappears but we’ve got a distorted version of the Firefly Fun House theme. Cue Alexa Bliss in the corner and she throws a huge fireball at Orton’s face. Orton holds his face and screams a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. As usual, all this show did was remind me of what is going on with the main shows and those are not memories I like bringing up. The wrestling was nothing of course and the stuff from Smackdown was just there. Granted it wasn’t McIntyre vs. Goldberg but at least they have a few things going for the. You just won’t see them on Raw because reasons.

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Monday Night Raw – January 18, 2021: I Need A Double Yoo-Hoo After This Show

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 18, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton

We’re less than two weeks away from the Royal Rumble and that means it is time to start adding in some new names to the lineups. There are several spots still available and that means we can fill in a few more of them over the next two weeks. And there’s the whole Randy Orton getting hit with a fireball deal. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the Martin Luther King Jr. Day video.

From the shadows, Randy Orton talks about people who fight fire with fire usually wind up with ashes. We see a mask over his face as he says the voices in his head have never been louder. He talks about needing to redirect his pure hatred and we see Alexa Bliss throwing the fireball last week. The fire that melted the skin off his face will never go away. He is wearing his mask to protect himself but to shield everyone else from the horror.

The burns could have been much worse or could have disfigured him forever. Orton doesn’t blame her though because he blames the Fiend. Orton blames the Fiend for this because he knows what the Fiend wants. The Fiend wants to stop Orton from achieving the inevitable. We see clips of Orton’s two Royal Rumble wins as Orton talks about how he would be a threat to win the Rumble even if you chopped off all of his limbs.

He enjoys the pain and you can blame the Fiend when he burns everyone’s Wrestlemania dreams to ashes. Orton lights and the blows out a match. That was certainly different, though would it have been too much to wait more than a week after he was burned to appear again? That’s not enough to be gone for another show?

We look at Ric Flair intentionally costing Charlotte a match against Lacey Evans last week and then leaving with Evans.

Ric Flair and Lacey Evans arrived earlier today, with Lacey asking to hear a Horsemen story. Lacey doesn’t like being interrupted to ask about what is going on between them because she is just learning from the best. They’ll be watching Charlotte vs. Peyton Royce tonight.

Charlotte vs. Peyton Royce

Peyton (now with purple hair) jumps her from behind during the entrances and we take a break. Back with the match officially starting and Royce jumping her again. This time Charlotte knocks her to the floor for the big chops but one of them hits the post to let Peyton get a breather. Back in and Royce gets in a few shots until Charlotte chops her into the corner.

A neckbreaker out of the corner gets two but here’s Ric Flair (Tom: “Oh not this again.” Amen brother.) with Lacey Evans, in her own Nature Boy robe. Royce uses the distraction to hit a spinning kick to the face for two. Back from a break with Charlotte chopping her to the floor for a nine count. Charlotte goes for the leg and the Figure Eight makes Royce tap at 12:06.

Rating: D+. Longer than it needed to be here (and thank goodness Peyton jumped her before the bell, only to have everything settled down for the opening bell) and thank goodness they managed to find a way for Ric Flair to appear again. It had been a few months since he had some kind of an angle and that’s just too long to be without him. Anyway, nothing to see here, other than WWE trying and failing to make me feel sympathetic for Charlotte.

Riddle pops in to interrupt the Hurt Business. He compliments their clothes, including saying that MVP looks like Gordon Gecko (Riddle does not seem like a Wall Street guy). Lashley compliments the flip flops and then stomps on (or near) Riddle’s foot.

Post break Riddle insists that he’ll be good to go for his six man later.

We get a promo from earlier today with Mustafa Ali talking about Kofi Kingston having a broken jaw. Ali wants to break Kingston’s spirit by breaking someone Kofi cares about the most in Xavier Woods. This is tied into Kofi taking Ali’s spot in the Elimination Chamber back in 2019. That’s a story I didn’t think we would revisit.

Mace vs. Xavier Woods

The rest of Retribution is here and Woods hits Ali in the mouth before the bell. Back from a break and things get started with Mace taking Woods down. The choking is on until Mace sends him into the corner, with Woods looking rocked. Woods gets in a few shots to the face and dropkicks the knee out to put Mace down for a change. Ali gets knocked off the apron so he tells the team to do it now. Retribution surrounds the ring and Mace hits a side kick. A fireman’s carry spun into a slam (with Mace dropping him on the landing) finishes Woods at 4:04.

Rating: C-. The ending didn’t help things but the idea of building to Kofi vs. Ali is interesting, as they have actually waited two years for an interesting match. If nothing else, actually giving Retribution an interesting feud is a different way to go. I doubt it gets there, but a Wrestlemania match could certainly be interesting.

Post match Ali tells Woods that they’re coming for Kingston.

Asuka is asked what to expect in Alexa’s Playground. Asuka: “I don’t know.” After a look at Bliss burning Orton last week, Asuka says she doesn’t want to see Alexa’s dark side.

We get a special report, featuring HHH (Henry E. Panki) and Stephanie McMahon (Anita Reelman) as news reporters. Weatherman Sunny McCloud (Roman Reigns) and Paul Heyman announce that Wrestlemania XXXVII will be in Tampa. Hailey Mary (Sasha Banks) is in Dallas, where Wrestlemania XXXVIII will be held in 2022. Then Hugh Kantseeme (John Cena) is in Los Angeles, where Wrestlemania XXXIX will be held in 2023. Then they’re off the air and HHH and Stephanie take off their costumes to say they were both awesome. This is….uh….well it’s different. We’ll go with different.

Here is Alexa Bliss for Alexa’s Playground. She wants to address the viper in the room. Things got a little heated with Randy Orton last week but she knows someone if he is interested in some sunblock. As for tonight though, her guest is Asuka, who looks scared of where to sit. Bliss says that isn’t your seat, but she wasn’t talking to Asuka. For now though, Bliss has some special news.

After asking the invisible person in the swing if she should tell them, she announces her entry into the Royal Rumble. That means she could go on to Wrestlemania to face Asuka, who says she is a big fan of Bliss. Asuka, sounding rather nervous, says yowie wowie. Bliss apologizes to whoever is next to her and Asuka starts dancing. Bliss shouts to stop it and talks to the swing. Asuka tries to calm Bliss down by saying he is still here, but Bliss says not to say his name. A scared Asuka leaves.

Goldberg vs. Drew McIntyre is set for the Royal Rumble. Tonight, JEFF JARRETT will break the match down.

Miz and John Morrison promise some shenanigans with Goldberg on the Dirt Sheet.

Shayna Baszler is ready to destroy Mandy Rose tonight, just like she’ll do to everyone at the Royal Rumble. Then Nia Jax bickers with Shayna about carrying her. WHY ARE THESE TWO STILL FRIENDS???

Jeff Jarrett picks Goldberg to defeat Drew McIntyre at the Royal Rumble.

We look at last week’s tag match with Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax beating Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke.

Mandy Rose vs. Shayna Baszler

It should be noted that Rose’s entrance took place before Shayna’s interview, which was followed by a break. Nia Jax is on commentary as Shayna takes Mandy down for a neck crank. Mandy fights out and is taken right back down into the neck crank again. Shayna stomps on the arm but Mandy grabs a rollup for two. The clothesline comeback is on but Baszler kicks the bad arm again. Shayna pulls her down by the arm and finishes with the Kirifuda Clutch at 3:43.

Rating: D. This match made me think of Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake at Summerslam 1990. After Hogan beat Earthquake, he promised to drag him all around the country and beat him over and over. That’s a cool thing to say, but what difference does it make to beat the same person over and over again? Baszler and Jax have beaten Rose and Brooke time after time now and I’m not sure what WWE thinks they’re getting out of doing it again.

Post match Jax and Baszler argue AGAIN, with Dana Brooke dropkicking Jax into Baszler.

Post break Jax and Baszler argue AGAIN, with Charly Caruso interrupting to point out that they’re arguing. Jax says they never get along, but no one around here does. This is the perfect time for them to get their rematch for the Tag Team Titles because Charlotte and Asuka aren’t even speaking.

We look at the opening match with Ric Flair and Lacey Evans ticking Charlotte off and Charlotte taking it out on Peyton Royce.

Charlotte is sick of people saying she is living off of her last name when you have Lacey Evans living off of her family’s last name. She’s sick off all the trash, because Evans can wear the robe but she can never take the crown.

We look at Adam Pearce signing the contract to face Roman Reigns at the Royal Rumble but then swapping in Kevin Owens in his place.

Ricochet is with Adam Pearce, who is giving him an opportunity tonight. AJ Styles and Omos come in with AJ saying he has never gotten a chance. Ricochet compares it to 50 First Dates because AJ can’t remember anything. He starts to explain it but AJ says he knows the movie (AJ: “It’s in my top ten.”). Ricochet says AJ is forgetting TLC but now it’s time to go to the ring.

Ricochet vs. AJ Styles

After Ricochet’s entrance, AJ is still in the back with Pearce and threatens him with Omos. That takes us to another break and now we’re ready to go. AJ’s headlock doesn’t get very far as Ricochet hits a Japanese armdrag into a jackknife rollup for two. Ricochet sends AJ outside, stops to glare at Omos, and then slides down for an anklescissors to drop AJ again.

Another dive is pulled out of the air by Omos, who then just drops Ricochet with a thud. We take a break and come back with Ricochet still in trouble until a spinning DDT drops AJ. Ricochet muscles him over with a German suplex but AJ is right back with a brainbuster for his own two.

The fireman’s carry backbreaker gets the same so AJ heads to the apron. The Phenomenal Forearm is countered into the Recoil for a slightly delayed two and they’re both down again. Back up and Ricochet tries a springboard but gets countered into the Styles Clash for the pin at 13:00.

Rating: B. This was the kind of match that the show needed as they had two talented guys going out there and doing their thing while getting some time. I’m not wild on Ricochet losing again but you can’t let false hope ruin the few good things about this show. It’s by far the best thing on the show tonight and the kind of thing that helped boost the rest of the pretty weak night up.

We look back at Alexa’s Playground.

And now, the Dirt Sheet, because we need another talk show. Miz and John Morrison talk about how great things could be for Goldberg if he wins the title one more time. That brings us to their guest tonight: Goldberg! Uh….make that Gillberg! As cliched as that might be, it’s nice to see Gillberg after his recent health issues. Anyway, Gillberg talks about everything he does in his entrance, but here’s…..a mini Drew McIntyre to interrupt.

After putting in the mini sword (Joe: “That’s the Clayless.”), mini Drew (with his kilt a bit too low and having to adjust his hair) says he is here to address his Royal Rumble opponent face to face. Drew promises to kick Goldberg back to 1998 and then go home and eat some haggis. Morrison mocks Drew’s accent and Drew breaks character, asking if we can do it again. Miz snaps on Morrison for getting an actor from New Jersey instead of New York, LA or Cleveland. Morrison: “CLEVELAND???”

Hurt Business vs. Lucha House Party/Riddle

Cedric Alexander beats on Gran Metalik to start but Shelton Benjamin won’t tag in while not looking happy. Lince Dorado comes in to take Alexander down and hammer away on his back but Shelton and Bobby Lashley still won’t tag in. Shelton finally comes in and sends Dorado into the corner, followed by a double shoulder with Lashley’s help.

Alexander tags himself back in but Shelton does the same, ordering Alexander to get out. The argument lets Dorado hit the Golden Rewind (MVP: “You see what happens??? You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes!”) but Alexander breaks up the tag. Shelton shoves Alexander outside and MVP talks some sense to him as we take a break. Back with Alexander holding a chinlock on Dorado as we look at the pre-break bickering.

Alexander reaches for a tag to Shelton, pulls his hand back, and tags Lashley in instead. Lashley is willing to tag Benjamin, who snaps off a suplex. Dorado finally gets away and brings in Riddle to pick up the pace, despite his taped up foot. The good foot kicks Shelton upside the head and the Final Flash connects for two. Alexander comes back in and argues with Shelton, so Lashley spears Metalik and finishes with the Hurt Lock in a hurry at 12:36.

Rating: D+. Why? Why the heck does WWE insist on doing this nonsense? The Hurt Business has been one of the best things going for the last eight months and now they’re teasing a split just after they win the Tag Team Titles? Why? What good does this do other than messing with something that is working? I know I’m no professional wrestling writer, but sometimes it’s ok to just let something that works keep going rather than throwing in some kind of screwiness for the sake of messing things up.

Post match Riddle cheap shots Lashley, who has to keep Shelton and Alexander apart.

Elias tells Jaxson Ryker to not screw up again this week, because this isn’t Thomas The Tank Engine. Tonight, Jeff Hardy needs to be beaten down until he accepts the universal truth.

Drew McIntyre joins us from his home and says he is still asymptomatic after being diagnosed with the Coronavirus. He has been watching Raw and it makes him think of the circus. You have the clowns like Miz and Morrison but then you have the lions. It’s a little something for everyone and that includes Goldberg. Drew may be gone, but Goldberg better be ready for him at the Rumble because if he isn’t, Drew will drop him in two minutes. Check his title record, because he doesn’t miss. He’ll be back next week.

Jeff Hardy vs. Jaxson Ryker

Elias is here with Ryker, who hammers on Jeff to start. A dropkick puts Ryker down though and Jeff’s legdrop between the legs and basement dropkick get two. Ryker is right back with a belly to back suplex and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and Jeff hits a quick Twist of Fate. The Swanton is loaded up so Elias shoves him off for the DQ at 3:10.

Rating: D+. This is another feud that is still going and feels like no one remembers that it needs to end at some point. Haven’t we seen them do all of this stuff already? I’m not sure if just swapping the roles makes that much difference, but at least Ryker and Elias are teasing a breakup after…..six weeks or so?

Post match Ryker is mad at Elias, because he said not to help him. Elias: “I thought you meant ‘don’t’ help me!” Ryker plants Hardy with a Boss Man Slam. To recap, this is the third team that has argued in two hours and forty minutes.

Asuka vs. Alexa Bliss

Non-title. Asuka starts fast and doesn’t seem so scared this time around. An early Shining Wizard connects and Bliss is rocked, but the lights go out Fiend style. Bliss smiles a lot as we take a break. Back with Bliss seemingly transformed (and maybe with different lipstick) into the serious version and Asuka not being sure what to do.

Bliss blocks and dodges a bunch of strikes before shouldering Asuka down without much trouble. Back in and the Mandible Claw is loaded up but Asuka manages to block it. The rapid fire kicks rock Bliss but she grabs Sister Abigail and, with a blank stare, finishes Asuka at 11:36.

Rating: D+. And so we have another example of WWE doing their storytelling thing. I get the idea they’re going for here and it does make Bliss out to be a monster, but Asuka being scared or whatever is not like her whatsoever. She can go with the silly and such, but having her be scared feels out of character. Also, can anyone give me a logical reason why she and Charlotte are Tag Team Champions at the moment other than Charlotte getting another title reign?

Post match the lights flash and Bliss’ makeup changes because she’s the happy version again. Fiend’s LET ME IN ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. Last week officially started the 29th year of Raw and I don’t remember the last time I was this angry while watching the show. This episode had more bad acting, bad ideas, bad segments and bad pretty much everything than I can remember. Outside of AJ vs. Ricochet and McIntyre’s promo (which wasn’t great but it sounded like him saying his own words), there was nothing on here that either made me want to watch another thing this show does.

Where do you even start? First of all, we’re getting another Ric Flair story. I know we just saw him involved with Randy Orton about six months ago, so it must be time to see him again. WWE just got done with their big Legends Raw a few weeks ago. Why is it that only Flair can get these roles? You mean to tell me that NONE of the other Legends would be able to be put into a spot like this? It seems that we get at least a Flair story a year and other than HHH loving the guy, I have no idea why that needs to be the case.

Then you have the double talk shows, which served the following purposes: to show that Alexa, who has been creepy for months, is creepy and to show that Miz and Morrison, who are known to be bragging idiots, are bragging idiots. It comes off as a blatant way to fill in three hours a week, all while you have how many people sitting on the sidelines for months on end?

Maybe we could put some of them into a team so they can argue. I mean we only did it with Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler, the Hurt Business and Elias/Jaxson Ryker this week so there’s plenty of room for more. It nothing else it frees up creative from having to come up with something fresh, so maybe they can think of something else for Flair to do so he can have a bonus check.

Why are so many people having to do the same things over and over again, often on the same show? Every show but Raw has the ability to come up with a storyline for people (even 205 Live can pull off the bare basics). Here though? Same people doing the same stuff every week. If you need Flair around that often, ask him to tell you two angles he remembers from 1983 and redo them, then go talk to Flair again when they’re done.

This show didn’t make me want to see the Rumble and it didn’t make me want to watch Raw next week. I know NXT isn’t what it once was, but it’s still miles better than this. Smackdown is one of the best shows on television every week and they make stuff like this look easy. I can’t imagine that adding an extra hour in is that much of a game changer, so please find a way to fix this. It’s a Raw problem instead of a WWE problem, so figure this stuff out already.

Results

Charlotte b. Peyton Royce – Figure Eight

Mace b. Xavier Woods – Spinning torture rack slam

Shayna Baszler b. Mandy Rose – Kirifuda Clutch

AJ Styles b. Ricochet – Styles Clash

Hurt Business b. Riddle/Lucha House Party – Hurt Lock to Metalik

Jeff Hardy b. Jaxson Ryker via DQ when Elias interfered

Alexa Bliss b. Asuka – Sister Abigail

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