Smackdown
Date: April 26, 2024
Location: Heritage Bank Center, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Corey Graves, Wade Barrett

It’s time for the Draft and that means we will be seeing sixteen picks tonight, which could make for quite the shakeup. Only half of the roster is available to be selected tonight with the other half taking place on Monday Night Raw. We are also eight days away from Backlash and the show could use a boost. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Note that I was in the arena for this show, sitting in the upper seats, looking straight at a corner post with the entrance on my right.

Here are the Draft Rules:

• Raw, Smackdown and NXT stars are eligible
• Four rounds tonight, Six rounds on Raw
• Four picks per round
• Champions are protected
• Smackdown picks first tonight, Raw picks first on Monday
• The rosters lock May 6

Paul Heyman explains that Roman Reigns is voluntarily pulling out of the Draft because he doesn’t want to hog the #1 spot while he is not going to be around for a good while. That means Nick Aldis needs to make a new star and Heyman is intrigued.

NXT is excited about potential callups.

Corey Graves is in the ring to moderate a contract signing between AJ Styles and Cody Rhodes. Styles says it is time for some Georgia boys to fight. Their paths have not crossed before but Styles respects Cody for making a name for himself outside of WWE, just like Cody did. Styles learned a lot from Dusty Rhodes, including how to carry the title. At Backlash, we find out if Cody can carry it.

Styles signs, leaving Cody to talk about how there is respect between them. But when he signs this contract, it becomes a must win. Cody signs, leaving Styles to say the title reign ends at Backlash. Not much to this, but it’s not supposed to be some big epic story. That being said (and I wish I could take credit for this), at some point Cody is going to face someone who didn’t know Dusty and I have no idea what they are going to talk about.

With Styles gone, here is HHH to announce the first picks, with Cody joining him.

Smackdown
1. Bianca Belair
2. Carmelo Hayes (From NXT)

Monday Night Raw
1. Jey Uso
2. Seth Rollins

Cue Carmelo Hayes, who (after shrugging off some WHOOP THAT TRICK chants, a reference to his rivalry with Trick Williams in NXT) has been hearing Cody talk about how if you come at the king, you best not miss. Hayes never misses, and he’s shooting his shot against Cody tonight. Cody is in and we have a main event.

Legado del Fantasma vs. LWO

That would be Berto/Angelo vs. Rey Mysterio/Dragon Lee in this instance. Berto drops Lee to start but Lee is right back up with some elbows to the face. Angel low bridges Lee to the floor though and we take an early break. Back with Rey getting the hot tag and hitting a top rope seated senton. Berto is sent to the floor and it’s the 619 into Project Dragon to give Lee the pin on Angel at 5:26. Not enough shown to rate but it was a quick and to the point match, which really didn’t need a break.

Post match Santos Escobar pops up to say he is not a liar. That’s why he has had Elektra Lopez find the security footage of Dragon Lee being attacked. The footage shows Carlito, of the LWO that is, attacking Lee, and then jumping back in to act like he found him. Carlito lays out the LWO, making him the heel that he should have been a LONG time ago.

Bron Breakker vs. Cedric Alexander

Spear finishes Alexander at 15 seconds.

We look at Tiffany Stratton breaking up last week’s Women’s Title match.

Stratton tells Nick Aldis she should get the next Women’s Title match but Aldis has another idea. Bayley has suggested Naomi vs. Stratton for the title shot, with Stratton suggesting that Bayley be at ringside. Deal.

Here are Michelle McCool and Torrie Wilson for the next picks.

Smackdown
3. Randy Orton
4. Nia Jax

Monday Night Raw
3. Bron Breakker
4. Liv Morgan

The fact that Jax has “former model” as the third fact in her bio tells you a lot. Yes she’s a model, but apparently there wasn’t a third thing about her career worth mentioning.

We look at the Bloodline attacking Kevin Owens last week.

The Bloodline arrives and Solo Sikoa asks Paul Heyman if they have been drafted. Heyman recaps the Roman Reigns issue and says no one has drafted the Bloodline because they don’t know who it includes. Tama Tonga shows up and here is Kevin Owens to brawl with him.

Here is Bianca Belair for a chat. She is ready to win the Women’s Tag Team Titles with Jade Cargill to continue ending Damage CTRL. Cue the Kabuki Warriors but Jade Cargill cuts them off. Cue Kevin Owens and Tama Tonga to brawl to the ring, with Solo Sikoa joining them. Randy Orton comes in for the save and the Bloodline bails after a brawl.

Here are the Dudley Boyz for round three.

Smackdown

5. LA Knight
6. Bloodline

Monday Night Raw

5. Ricochet
6. Sheamus

Tiffany Stratton vs. Naomi

Bayley is at ringside. Naomi starts fast so Stratton bails to the floor, where Naomi hits a baseball slide. Back in and Stratton hits a running hip attack to the back of the head, only for Naomi to tie her up in the ropes. A jumping faceplant sends Stratton outside and Naomi dives onto her as we take a break. Back with Stratton getting two off a spinebuster but Naomi grabs a headscissors driver for the same. They both grab swinging faceplants for a double knockdown…and here is Nia Jax to jump Bayley on commentary. Naomi goes out for the save and gets sent into the post for the DQ at 6:18.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have much time to get anywhere but the biggest problem is Jax being around. She brought things down on Raw and now she is going to get to do it again here. That is hardly the best news imaginable and it wouldn’t shock me to see her added to the title match at Backlash. Either that or get the next one after that. Either way, it doesn’t give me hope for the future of the division.

Post match Jax leaves and Stratton hits Bayley and Naomi with the Prettiest Moonsault Ever.

The Street Profits and B Fab are ready to win the Tag Team Titles next week. Cue A Town Down Under, who mock the Cincinnati Bengals, and get scared off by Bobby Lashley.

The Final Testament attacks the New Catch Republic. Karrion Kross promises to continue the violence no matter what.

Here are Teddy Long and JBL for the final picks.

Smackdown

7. AJ Styles
8. Andrade

Monday Night Raw

7. Alpha Academy
8. Kiana James (From NXT)

Here are the final picks:

Smackdown
1. Bianca Belair
2. Carmelo Hayes (From NXT)
3. Randy Orton
4. Nia Jax
5. LA Knight
6. Bloodline
7. AJ Styles
8. Andrade

Monday Night Raw
1. Jey Uso
2. Seth Rollins
3. Bron Breakker
4. Liv Morgan
5. Ricochet
6. Sheamus
7. Alpha Academy
8. Kiana James (From NXT)

Video on Kiana James (which is good, as the fans were silent after her name was called).

James is in NXT and is ready to show what got her this far. Shawn Michaels comes in for the hug.

Nick Aldis announces Bayley defending against Tiffany Stratton and Naomi at Backlash. He brings in Teddy Long to announce the Bloodline vs. Randy Orton/Kevin Owens.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Carmelo Hayes vs. Cody Rhodes

Non-title. Hayes starts fast with a springboard clothesline, only to get knocked outside as we take a break less than a minute in. Back with Hayes escaping a headlock and elbowing Rhodes into the corner. They trade chops in the corner with Rhodes getting the better of things, only to have Hayes come back with a spinning faceplant.

The springboard DDT gets two but Rhodes is back with a Disaster Kick for two. Rhodes goes old school with a running powerslam for two more, followed by the Cody Cutter for the same. Hayes is back with the First 48 (Codebreaker) but they both try springboards at the same time and miss (Rhodes seemed to come up favoring his shoulder). Rhodes has had it and grabs Cross Rhodes for the pin at 8:42.

Rating: B-. The only thing that matters right now is Rhodes’ shoulder, which hopefully is just banged up and not seriously hurt. They went home in a hurry after the landing but at the same time, they were only going to be able to go so much longer. Hayes looked good here, but that has been the case with his previous Smackdown previews. Nice main event here, as Hayes gets to rub elbows with the big star.

AJ Styles comes in after the match for a rather intense handshake but no violence as the show ends.

Overall Rating: C+. Obviously this was a show where the wrestling wasn’t the point, but this was kind of a dull show. They did a bunch of stuff for Backlash and it still isn’t enough to shake off the feeling that it is a glorified house show. The Draft stuff was just kind of there, with Hayes and Breakker feeling important and not much else. I didn’t dislike the show, but I was expecting a good bit more than what we got here.

Results
LWO b. Legado del Fantasma – Project Dragon to Angel
Bron Breakker b. Cedric Alexander – Spear
Naomi b. Tiffany Stratton via DQ when Nia Jax interfered
Cody Rhodes b. Carmelo Hayes – Cross Rhodes

 

 

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Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the second of three redos this year and it is a show that I have seen quite a few times over the years. WWE knows how to bust out the big anniversary shows and that is what we will be seeing here. The fact that the show is in Madison Square Garden makes it even better. The main event is HHH defending the Raw World Title against Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels in a match that I think might work. Let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sing America the Beautiful with a VERY patriotic montage.

The opening video features Vince McMahon walking out of the shadows and talking about how he had a vision twenty years ago which shaped everything today. This gives us the always awesome montage of Wrestlemania clips, which really is their strong suit. They know how to make things feel special and that is what they did here. Speaking of special, the video ends with Shane McMahon now next to Vince and presenting his son, Vince’s first grandchild, as the narrator talks about where it all begins again. That has always stuck with me since I saw this show for the first time and it is great.

In a change from the usual MSG setup, the entrance is on the left instead of opposite the hard camera, though there is a large screen showing the current match.

We get the traditional welcome from the multiple commentary teams.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena is challenging and is on fire here, while Big Show has defended the title less than three times since winning it back in October. Cena’s rap mocks Show’s anatomy in various ways and promises that he’ll win the title tonight. Show shoves him away to start but Cena is back with the right hands. Cena’s shots are shrugged off though and he gets sent outside, setting up a powerslam for two back inside.

The fans think Show sucks as he slowly hammers Cena down, including a slam. We get the required standing on Cena’s chest/throat and a suplex drops Cena again. More standing, this time on Cena’s back, seems to wake him up a bit but Show kicks him in the face. Show’s standing legdrop gets two and the frustration starts setting in fast. Powered by the fans (his kind always is), Cena slips out of a slam and grabs a choke, which earns him a hard clotheslines.

Show is back with the cobra clutch but Cena powers out again and avoids a charge in the corner. The FU barely gets two though and now it’s Cena being stunned. With nothing else working, Cena grabs his chain, which is taken away by the competent referee. Instead it’s the brass knuckles off Show’s head, setting up the FU to give the filthy cheater the pin and the title at 9:20.

Rating: C. This was more of a coronation than anything else and it came at the end of a not very interesting match. The problem with someone like Show is there are only so many things that you can do with him. Cena has the power to make it work a little better, but this isn’t the best time in Show’s history and it was obvious here. That being said, this was ALL about Cena and as long as he left with the title, nothing else mattered.

Coach is walking through the back and after meeting various people like Tom Prichard and Teddy Long, he goes in to see Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff (with assistant Johnny Nitro), who wants to make sure that Undertaker is here. Bischoff sends Coach to find him but Coach isn’t exactly comfortable with that. He goes anyway, as Bischoff doesn’t really care.

Evolution, minus HHH, is in a stairwell, with Randy Orton talking about how it’s ironic that we are back here in MSG where he became the new Hardcore Legend. We see a clip of Orton kicking Mick Foley down these steps, which made Foley walk away back in December. Then Foley came back, when Orton spat in his face. Foley can’t accept that life has passed him by, just like evolution.

We see clips of Foley being beaten up over and over, including a segment where Foley told Orton to really hit him in the face. Evolution has gotten bored with it, just like Foley, so he called Hollywood to get the Rock. Then Evolution beat him down too and they’ll do it again tonight. It all started here in MSG, and tonight it all ends here as well. This one always stuck out for me too, just because of the different location.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Booker T. vs. Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

Van Dam and Booker are defending (with their pretty terrible mashup theme) and this is one fall to a finish. Dupree and Van Dam start things off with a monkey flip sending Dupree flying. Booker beats up La Resistance but it’s off to Bubba for the hard lockup. A neckbreaker drops Booker for two and the snap jabs put him down again. D-Von comes in so Van Dam takes him down with a top rope kick to the face, showing that he too is a filthy cheater by coming in without a tag.

Jindrak tags himself in to stomp away on Booker and it’s Dupree coming back in to drive Booker into the corner. Conway cranks on both arms with a knee in Booker’s back for far too long until a spinebuster breaks things up. The hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house but D-Von shoves him off the top to break up the Five Star. Everything breaks down and Cade saves Booker from the 3D. Booker kicks Conway down and the Five Star retains the titles at 7:54.

Rating: C-. This is one of the most “yeah whatever” matches I can remember in a long time. There were too many people involved and it was only so good because of all of the people running around. Also, why are you using a minute of an eight minute match on a rest hold? You have eight people involved but we spent that long on Conway pulling Booker’s arms? Really?

Coach goes to find Undertaker and is told there are some “freakish noises” coming from a door. He heads to the door, which is being knocked back and forth. Gene Okerlund, pulling his clothes come back on, comes out, followed by Bobby Heenan, whose shirt is undone. Coach wonders what is going on, but Heenan says they were playing poker. Heenan: “He was dealing.” Coach wants to know what was going on in there, so here are Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young, who grab Gene and Heenan and drag them back in. Heenan: “No I don’t want to go back! I haven’t been well!” This still gets me every time.

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho. They used to be best friends and made a bet about who could be more, ahem, successful with Lita and Trish Stratus respectively. Lita kind of went away, but Jericho started to fall for Trish. She found out about the bet and yelled at Jericho, who then tried to win her back. Christian turned on Jericho to get him to be the old Jericho again, setting up the match. This was a really detailed story and I’ve always liked it for telling a coherent story throughout. You don’t get that often and it was one of the best of the era.

Chris Jericho vs. Christian

They fight over a lockup to start and go into the corner, with Christian shoving him instead of giving a clean break. Jericho punches him in the face and starts throwing knees to take over, setting up the running elbow. A kick to the face and a backdrop to the floor keep Christian in trouble and Jericho hits a bit dive to take him down again. Back in and Christian manages to belly to back suplex him to the floor to take over for the first time.

The neck crank goes on back inside, followed by a chinlock with a knee in Jericho’s back. A spinwheel kick gives Christian two and it’s time to slap Jericho in the face a few times. That earns him a head to head collision though and they’re both down. The slugout goes to Jericho and he hits the running crotch attack to the back in the ropes. The step up enziguri gives Jericho two but Christian reverses a rollup into one of his own, with a grab of the rope getting two.

Jericho’s bulldog sets up the Lionsault to Christian’s raised knees and a reverse tornado DDT gives Christian two of his own. Jericho is right back up with his swinging sleeper drop but he gets tossed off the top, banging up his knee in the process. Christian’s high crossbody is rolled through so he kicks Jericho in the knee. The Texas Cloverleaf goes on for a bit until Jericho reverses into the Walls.

Christian is in the ropes almost immediately and he rolls outside….with Jericho holding on and keeping the Walls on outside. Back in and a butterfly superplex gives Jericho two and here is Trish Stratus to slap the apron. An implant DDT gives Christian two, which draws Trish up to the apron. Christian shoves her down so Jericho sends him outside. Trish elbows Jericho in the face (it’s unclear if she could see who it was) and Christian’s rollup with tights is enough for the pin at 14:44.

Rating: B. This got going once it became a regular match and these two have more than enough talent to make a longer match work. Christian certainly needed the win more than Jericho here, as it was a big boost in probably his biggest singles win ever. Jericho winning here ends the feud so having Christian move up is the right way to go. Good match too, and that really shouldn’t be surprising.

Post match Trish is upset and apologizes to Jericho. Christian comes back but Trish turns on Jericho and slaps him on the face, setting up the Unprettier. Evil Trish leaves with Christian and we get the semi-famous kiss on the stage in the next big step for both of them.

Mick Foley is fired up to be back in Madison Square Garden and needs to get in that mindset to put all of this anger and emotion on Evolution. The Rock interrupts and is VERY fired up, saying he has finally come back…..home. After telling Lilian Garcia not to look at the People’s package (which she does), Rock steals the cameraman to come with him and sees Hurricane and Rosey, Jimmy Snuka and Don Muraco and then goes all the way into the arena for a shot of the crowd. They’re ready for Evolution and it’s weird seeing Rock and Foley as these two big serious guys going up against evil.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

No recap video here, but it’s basically Foley fighting Randy Orton and the two of them both have major backup. Rock and Foley clear the ring to start before Rock and Flair settle things down, giving the New York fans a crazy dream match. A shoulder puts Flair down and Rock busts out a strut, with Flair coming back up for a WOO. The chops don’t do Flair any good and Rock hits a backdrop to send him rolling outside.

Foley follows him out and drops Flair with a clothesline before coming in himself. That sends Orton bailing to the floor so Foley is right there to send him into the announcers’ table. Back in and Rock takes over on Orton (there’s a dream match we never got), but has to punch Flair and Batista off the apron. The distraction is enough for Batista to come in and take over, allowing Flair to hit some more effective chops. We get the big strut and Flair goes up top and….oh you know the deal.

Batista comes back in before Rock can bring in Foley but the tag brings in Foley a few seconds later anyway. Foley fights out of the corner and hammers Batista down but that huge Batista clothesline cuts his down. Some double teaming on the floor has Foley in more trouble and there’s the big whip to send him knees first into the steps (taking that bump so many times explains so much about why Foley walks that way).

Back in and Foley and Flair slug it out until Orton can come in and pull at Foley’s hair for a reverse chinlock. Batista adds some clotheslines but Foley slips in a quick Mandible Claw. In a smarter move than you would expect from a musclehead like this version of Batista, he waves Orton in for the save instead of getting in more trouble. Flair comes back in and gets forearmed in the face, allowing the really easy tag back to Rock. House is cleaned but Batista cuts him off with a spinebuster.

That lets Flair….load up the People’s Elbow (complete with throwing an invisible elbow pad), but again he takes too long, allowing Rock to nip up and really clean house. The spinebuster plants Flair, setting up a People’s Elbow, complete with strut, for a delayed two. There’s the Rock Bottom to Orton with Flair making the save.

Flair grabs a chair but the distraction lets the Batista Bomb hit Rock to give Orton two (in the same way Batista helped Orton beat Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series 2003). The real hot tag brings in Foley to clean house but the Mandible Claw takes too long (theme of the match) and Orton grabs an RKO for the pin at 17:55.

Rating: B+. The more I see this match, the more I like it, as you have Rock and Flair doing everything they could to steal the show and Foley going after Orton every chance he could. Batista was in there with the muscle and it made for a great showcase. It was every bit the big moment that they were shooting for and it made me want to see a bunch of these combinations again. That wouldn’t happen for the most part, but dang they made this one work really well, as the match itself was a backdrop to just doing entertaining stuff, leaving the crowd completely in their hands.

Hall of Fame video recap, featuring Heenan’s “I wish Monsoon was here”, which will get me every single time.

The Hall of Fame class is introduced by Gene Okerlund:

Bobby Heenan (still playing to the crowd as only he can)
Tito Santana (about as perfect of a midcarder as you could have)
Big John Studd (represented by his son)
Harley Race (yep, though billing him as The King is a bit odd)
Pete Rose (booed, but apparently very grateful for the honor so points for that)
Don Muraco (I could go for more of him, as you don’t see him brought up very often)
Greg Valentine (who looks like he is ready for Wrestlemania IV)
Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter)
Billy Graham (there’s an influential one)
Sgt. Slaughter (with the salutes)
Jesse Ventura (I could listen to that voice talk about anything, as long as he jabs McMahon)

This was the first class in almost ten years and it is a heck of a group, though no one really stands out as a headliner.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Playboy Evening Gown match, as Jackie and Stacy are jealous of the other two for being in the magazine. Hold on though as Sable wants to start minus the evening gowns. That’s exactly what we do, with commentary reacting exactly as you would expect them to. Jackie won’t drop her gown so it gets ripped off of her to start fast. Sable kicks at Jackie’s ribs in the corner and Torrie comes in with a high crossbody.

Stacy comes in (taking her time to come over the ropes) and throws in a cartwheel. The Kevin Nash choke in the corner doesn’t do Stacy much good so they go to the pinfall reversal sequence for various camera shots. Stacy’s kick to the face gets two on Torrie before it’s back to Jackie. The referee gets rolled over and it’s Torrie reversing a rollup for the pin on Jackie at 2:32. This is exactly what you would have expected it to be.

Fans have come from various states and countries for the show.

WWE Champion Eddie Guerrero says he has Chris Benoit’s back win or lose, but Benoit doesn’t like the word lose. Eddie says no one believes in him but Benoit says he believes in himself and tonight is his night. That’s what Eddie wanted to hear.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero Jr. (with his dad) is defending and will enter last in the ten person gauntlet. Everyone gets their entrance (with Ultimo Dragon’s two slips edited out, thankfully) and it’s Shannon Moore in at #1 and Ultimo Dragon in at #2. Dragon works on the arm to start but Moore shoulders him down for….well not much really. Back up and Moore misses a Whisper in the Wind, allowing Dragon to hit his standing Sliced Bread for the elimination at 1:19.

Jamie Noble is in at #3 to jump Dragon from behind with a clothesline for two. Dragon is right back with his alternating kicks for two but he has to bail out of a moonsault. A neckbreaker drops Dragon and a guillotine choke finishes him off at 2:17 (total). Funaki is in at #4 and hits a high crossbody but Noble rolls through for the pin at 2:27.

Nunzio is in at #5 as commentary brings up SD Jones getting pinned in nine seconds at Wrestlemania. Some quick rollups give Nunzio two but Noble sends him outside for the HUGE flip dive off the top. They take turns pulling each other off the apron until Noble gets the countout elimination at 4:20.

Billy Kidman is in at #6 to jump Noble from behind (again with the filthy cheaters) and Nunzio pulls Noble to the floor. Instead of standing around, Kidman hits a crazy top rope shooting star onto the two of them for the almost terrifying landing. Thankfully Kidman is able to throw Noble back inside for two but has to fight out of the guillotine. An enziguri sets up the shooting star press, but Kidman has to fight Noble off. That’s fine enough, as the super BK Bomb gets rid of Noble at 6:12.

Rey Mysterio (as the Flash) is in at #7 and the top rope seated senton connects, only to have Kidman blast him with a dropkick. Mysterio hits his own dropkick to send Kidman outside but Akio snaps Rey’s throat across the top. Kidman’s spinebuster gets two so he puts Rey on top, only to get pulled down with a sunset bomb for the elimination at 7:30.

It’s Tajiri in at #8 to kick away at Mysterio and the Tarantula makes it worse. That doesn’t last long (just shy of five seconds oddly enough) and it’s the 619 to rock Tajiri. The springboard….something misses though and Tajiri loads up the mist, which hits an interfering Akio by mistake.

Rey grabs a rollup to get rid of Tajiri at 8:39 and apparently the mist means Akio can’t go, so Chavo is in at #10 to complete the field. Tajiri cheap shots Rey so Chavo gets two but Rey fights up and takes Chavo Sr. down. The running flip dive takes out Sr. again (well that seemed excessive) so Jr. grabs a rollup, with Sr. grabbing his hands to retain the title at 10:31.

Rating: C. This was the next match in the “well, here are a bunch of people” series of matches on the show. I’ve never gotten the logic of these matches as you have people getting falls in a minute when usual matches take five times as long as one elimination here. At the same time, Chavo just keeps the title, making this quite the uninteresting showcase, save for Kidman’s big spots.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. They talked trash to each other at the Royal Rumble and then Lesnar interfered in said Rumble to help eliminate Goldberg. Then Goldberg cost Lesnar the WWE Title so we have this match, with Steve Austin as guest referee. As a result, the feud wound up being Lesnar vs. Austin, as Austin gave Goldberg the idea to help cost Lesnar the title. Then Lesnar stole Austin’s ATV and Goldberg was just kind of there too. Oh and both Goldberg and Lesnar are leaving after the show and everyone knows about it.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Steve Austin is guest referee. Lesnar and Goldberg do their big entrances and we immediately hit the YOU SOLD OUT chants (pick your target). They stare at each other for almost a minute and Austin tells them to go at it. Now it’s the Goodbye Song as I try to get my mind around the idea of Lesnar having a tiny goatee coming in. They stare at each other some more as commentary talks about Lesnar going to the NFL.

There’s no contact for the first two minutes so Austin stares at both of them as he figures out that this is going to be a long night. They finally lock up after about 2:50 and that stays on for nearly 40 seconds with both of them letting go. They fight over another lockup, and by fight I mean they’re standing there with their arms around each other’s heads. Fans: “THIS MATCH SUCKS!”

Lesnar grabs a headlock for the first offensive move about five minutes in. They trade shoulders with neither going anywhere so they go nose to nose to yell at each other. The double shoulder puts them both down and then stare at each other a bit. Goldberg FINALLY picks him up in a gorilla press for a spinebuster but the spear only hits buckle. After a GOLDBERG SUCKS chant, Lesnar throws him back inside for some suplexes and a standing choke as Lawler desperately tries to turn this into a Raw vs. Smackdown thing.

That goes on for a long time as well until Goldberg fights out and they collide again, earning some straight booing. Goldberg fights up again and hits some clotheslines into a swinging neckbreaker. The spear gets two so Goldberg yells at Austin, allowing Lesnar to come back with the F5 for two. Now it’s Lesnar yelling at Austin, meaning he misses a spear of his own. Goldberg hits the spear and the Jackhammer gets rid of Lesnar for about eight years.

Rating: D-. Of course the match is terrible and a form of torture in 14 states, but there is some kind of perverse entertainment out of the whole thing. This wasn’t designed to be an entertaining match but rather two guys just messing around until they did a few things and called it a match. It’s an all time mess, but it’s a bit different than a match being a wreck just because it isn’t any good. This one is so bad that it’s fun in a way, which is a very different thing.

Post match we get beer and Stunners as the fans are pleased with Austin for knocking out those two after that match.

Wrestlemania XXI is in Los Angeles.

In a very nice moment, Vince McMahon comes out to thank the fans for being there for twenty years of Wrestlemania. This is the kind of genuine feeling moment that you do not get in modern WWE and it was kind of sweet.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA vs. Too Cool

Too Cool (Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi) are defending and again it’s one fall to a finish. Benjamin jumps Bradshaw to start and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Doug Basham tags himself in and suplexes Benjamin down for two, with Haas having to make the save. Back up and Benjamin slams Doug onto Haas’ knee and it’s off to Scotty to run Haas over.

That lets Scotty stop to dance but he gets thrown over the top. Scotty is fine enough to skin the cat but Haas catches him on his shoulders, allowing Benjamin to hit the running jump onto his back. The Bashams come in and hit a double suplex on Scotty to take over as the heat segment in the second four way Tag Team Title match on a four and a half hour show continues.

Scotty finally flips out of a belly to back suplex and the hot tag brings in Rikishi to clean house. Haas takes the Stinkface and Bradshaw fall away slams Doug over the top and onto a pile on the floor. The Clothesline From Bradshaw hits Danny but Rikishi takes Bradshaw out and sits on Danny to retain at 6:03.

Rating: D+. It was about the same as the first four way, but this would probably be the first match that needed to be cut to trim some of the time off this very long show. Rikishi and Scotty are another on the long list of forgotten teams to hold the titles and it isn’t like this was anything memorable either.

Dancing ensues post match.

Edge is coming back after over a year away with a neck injury.

Here is Jesse Ventura to interview someone so he picks…..Donald Trump, who happens to be in the front row. Jesse plugs the Apprentice and suggests that he is going to run for President, even asking for Trump’s financial and moral support. Sure, and we’ll move on as fast as we can.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Victoria is defending and this is title vs. hair, which was the only way they could get this match on the show so the two of them immediately agreed. Molly forearms her down to start and hits a running hip attack in the corner. Back up and Victoria spins out of a wristlock and Molly needs an early breather. She gets back in and grabs a snap suplex for two on Victoria, setting up a basement dropkick for two more.

The neck crank is on as Lawler goes into a discussion of Molly’s underwear. JR: “What does that have to do with this wrestling match?” Victoria fights up and hits a powerslam for two as JR wants some hot tea. Molly is sat on top and comes back with a sunset bomb for two of her own. For some reason Molly tries the Widow’s Peak (Victoria’s finisher) but Victoria reverses into a rollup to retain at 4:54.

Rating: C. They were victims of the time problems again here as there is only so much you can do in less than five minutes. The good thing is that the two of them are talented enough to make something out of nothing so the match was certainly watchable, even if it was more about setting up the post match stuff. It’s literally a case of this being the best WWE could give them though and that is better than just cutting the match.

Post match Molly tries to run away but gets sleepered out and tied in the chair for the big hair cut.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero for the WWE Title. Angle attacked Eddie because he didn’t want a former drug addict as the WWE Champion (the future would not be kind to this story for Angle). Therefore, it is time for a real hero to take the title but Eddie isn’t standing for this. Smackdown General Manager Paul Heyman has gotten in on Angle’s side and has helped him destroy Eddie more than once, including once when Eddie’s hands were handcuffed behind his back. Now it’s time for revenge.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Eddie is defending and the haircut is continuing as Angle makes his entrance. They start slowly with Eddie actually taking him down but making the mistake of trying to go amateur with him. Angle’s headlock takeover works rather well but Eddie as we get the LET’S GO ANGLE/ANGLE SUCKS chants. Eddie gets a fireman’s carry takeover but Angle flips over into a front facelock without much trouble.

A backdrop gets Eddie out of trouble and he armdrags Angle over into an armbar, setting in the frustration. Angle fights up and gets an abdominal stretch to stretch Eddie’s abdominals before hitting a German suplex. The second is escaped and Eddie winds up on the apron, where he has to block the German suplex to the floor. A dropkick puts Angle down but Eddie’s big dive only hits the barricade to bang up his ribs even more.

Some shoulders to the ribs set up a bodyscissors but Eddie jawbreaks his way to freedom. That lasts for all of two seconds as Angle drops the ribs across the top rope and snaps off an overhead belly to belly. Now it’s a waistlock to stay on the ribs and another belly to belly gives Angle another two. Eddie manages a quick knockdown though and goes up for the frog splash, which only hits mat.

The frustrated Angle starts throwing right hands, which just fire Eddie up enough to start his comeback. The rolling German suplexes cut that off in a hurry but the Angle Slam is countered into an armdrag. Two Amigos connect until Angle picks the ankle but Eddie kicks him off immediately. Eddie goes up but Angle is right there with the run up the ropes belly to belly superplex for the big crash back down.

Angle runs him over again though and the straps come down, setting up the Angle Slam. Eddie breaks that up as well and it’s a DDT to set up the frog splash for a rather close two. The ankle lock goes on again so Eddie rolls him outside and starts untying his boot to loosen the pressure. Back in and the angry Angle grabs the ankle lock, only to have Eddie kick him away and lose his boot. Angle is so stunned that he gets small packaged to retain Eddie’s title at 21:33.

Rating: A-. This was more about the psychology as Angle was hyper focused and Eddie eventually suckered him in with the boot. It made for a great finish, but it also came after an awesome match with Angle taking Eddie apart as only he could and Eddie having to survive. The ending was a very Eddie way to retain the title and that grin is hard to turn down. Absolutely a Wrestlemania match and an instant classic that doesn’t get the credit it deserves.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kane in the return of the Dead Man. Kane had turned on Undertaker and buried him alive (again) because he thought Undertaker was going soft. Then the gong went off at the Royal Rumble and Kane realized he was in trouble. Now Undertaker is back and it’s time for some revenge.

Kane vs. Undertaker

It’s the first time the Dead Man has been back since 1999 and Paul Bearer is right there with him. We also have torch bearing druids, because you always need torch bearing druids. Kane is already panicked and shouts that Undertaker isn’t real, because somehow Kane still doesn’t get how Undertaker works. Undertaker finally starts punching away against the ropes and they head to the floor for a slugout. That goes to Undertaker, who hits the apron legdrop to stun Kane again.

Back in and Kane kicks him in the face and it turns into a slugout on the mat for a change. The side slam plants Undertaker again, setting up the top rope clothesline for two. Undertaker fights right back with more right hands and tries Old School, which is pulled out of the air by the throat. The chokeslam plants Undertaker but Kane poses instead of covering. Undertaker sits up and stares at Kane mid pose, meaning it’s time for the real beating. Right hands, the chokeslam and the Tombstone finish Kane to make it 12-0 at 6:55.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t about the match but rather Undertaker being back, so there was no reason to believe that Kane was any serious threat. What mattered here was having Undertaker get back in the ring and destroy Kane because he is back in a big way. Kane was the designated victim here, which has been the case for him so many times now that he should be used to it.

We recap HHH defending the Raw World Title against Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit. Michaels and HHH went to a draw at the Royal Rumble so HHH retained the title. Then Benoit jumped to Raw and said he wanted the Raw World Title. The contract signing was set but Shawn ran in to interrupt, saying he needed that one more shot. He took out Benoit and signed the contract, because WWE continues to not get how contracts work. Steve Austin then made the match a triple threat, with Shawn being the most wedged in challenger of all time.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

HHH is defending in his weird white boots look. We go old school with the weapons check before Benoit sends HHH outside to start. That leaves Benoit to miss a backslide and Crossface on Shawn, who grabs a rollup for two. A northern lights suplex gives Benoit two but HHH is back in. Shawn has to skin the cat to get back inside, where he tosses Benoit out instead.

HHH is set outside as well, where he and Benoit are taken down by a baseball slide. Shawn’s big moonsault to the floor puts everyone down for a change until Benoit is left alone on the outside. The Pedigree is broken up by a returning Benoit, who fires off knees to Shawn’s ribs and sends him into the post. Shawn is fine enough to come back and tie Benoit in the Tree of Woe but HHH cuts Shawn off again.

The flying forearms drops HHH and Shawn nips up, only to have Benoit toss him outside. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but gets crotched by Shawn, who misses Sweet Chin Music to HHH. A DDT sends Shawn outside and a superplex gets six (which is somehow not three) on Benoit. The Crossface goes on out of nowhere so Shawn has to dive in for the save. That earns Shawn some rolling German suplexes into a Swan Dive for a rather close two as HHH is still down.

Now it’s Shawn making the comeback and hammering on Benoit, who gets sent outside. HHH gets superkicked for two with Benoit making the save so everyone goes outside. Shawn gets posted and busted open so Benoit puts on the Crossface, with HHH having to grab the hand to block the tap. HHH sends Benoit into the steps and loads up the announcers’ table (it wouldn’t be Wrestlemania without it), with Shawn helping on a double suplex to put Benoit through said table.

NOW we get the big HHH vs. Shawn slugout, because that’s what the two of them probably wanted this to be the whole time. Shawn whips HHH over the corner for the crash to the floor, with HHH coming up bleeding. Back in and Shawn slowly gets the better of things but a quick Pedigree takes him down.

Benoit has to come back in for the save before sending Shawn outside. The Sharpshooter has HHH in trouble so Shawn breaks it up with the superkick for a delayed two. Benoit sends him outside and reverses the Pedigree into the Crossface. HHH can’t get the rope and Benoit rolls into the middle of the ring for the tap and the title at 24:08.

Rating: A+. Yes it’s still a masterpiece with nothing close to a misstep or weak part and that is not something you get to see very often. All three worked hard and at the end of the day, Benoit won clean over HHH via submission in the middle of the ring. This felt like the main event of a milestone show and it was an incredible match which has not gotten old every time I have seen it. That is hard to do and it certainly deserves the honor.

Benoit gets the HUGE celebration with the confetti falling. Eddie Guerrero comes in for the shot that is now iconic for all the wrong reasons and JR’s voice gives out with the shouting to end the show.

Well almost, as we get the highlight reel to really wrap it up.

Overall Rating: B. In case it wasn’t clear throughout, there are more than a few matches on this show that feel like they are there for the sake of getting people on the card. If you get rid of those matches, this is an all time classic, as well as having the show be under four hours. The rest of the show is pretty much an all timer (Goldberg vs. Lesnar aside) with the matches either feeling important or being great. Just trim it down and stop cramming things in and it’s that much better. It’s absolutely worth a look if you have seen it before or not, but have the fast forward button ready.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-
2018 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C

Booker T/Rob Van Dam vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C-

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B-
2018 Redo: B
2022 Redo: B

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B+

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Original: F
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2018 Redo: N/A
2022 Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: F
2013 Redo: E
2015 Redo: F
2018 Redo: F
2022 Redo: D-

Too Cool vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: D+

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C-
2018 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2018 Redo: A
2022 Redo: A-

Undertaker vs. Kane

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2018 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: A-
2018 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

I think we’ve found about the definitive ratings for this one, or at least as close as you’re going to get after five looks at it.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XVII
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: Astrodome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Do I even need to explain this one? It’s one of the all time legendary classics if not THE all time legendary classic and maybe the greatest show in wrestling history. I’ve seen this show more times than I can count thanks to a VHS that a buddy of mine made for me of the original broadcast. As for the card, it’s Austin vs. Rock II and that’s all you need to know. Let’s get to it.

Sunday Night Heat: Grandmaster Sexay/Steve Blackman vs. X-Pac/Justin Credible

It’s so strange to hear these theme songs at this show. It feels like something that belongs in a video game only. Believe it or not there’s actually a bit of a setup for this as Sexay recruited Blackman to team with him earlier today because those feet could be great for dancing. X-Pac and Credible are part of X-Factor, and have Albert (A-Train/Prince Albert/whatever else you want to call him) in their corner.

The good guys clean house to start and X-Pac misses a Bronco Buster in the corner. Albert gets in a clothesline from the apron so X-Pac can take over, including stealing the goggles. Some right hands don’t get Grandmaster very far as X-Pac kicks him in the face. A double clothesline works a bit better and the hot (?) tag brings in Blackman. Everything breaks down and Albert pulls Grandmaster to the floor, leaving Blackman to take a double superkick for the pin at 2:45. It’s nothing to see of course but this was a perfectly nice tag match that did its job just fine.

The opening video is still one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen, with a bunch of clips of people watching Wrestlemania over the years, including a man in a barn with a trumpet, a farm couple outside their house, a man carrying hay, an Asian man on the streets of what appears to be a city in China, two teenagers watching through a TV store window, a twenty something couple in the backseat of a car and a clown. This is interspersed with what appears to be some kind of nuns dancing in a field. The one thing I always wonder: how do you get pay per view on these portable TVs with no apparent cables coming into them?

The stadium looks incredible with the wide shots showing just how massive the whole thing is. There’s something so cool about those visuals where you can see the tens of thousands of people. It’s the first stadium show since….geez 1992?

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Jericho, with a bad shoulder, is defending and has been tormenting Commissioner Regal for weeks due to Regal being an insufferable bore. This includes relieving himself in Regal’s teapot and dressing up like Doink for reasons that still aren’t clear (I’m sure Shawn Michaels is still mad about it too.). Regal responded by torturing Jericho with a series of handicap matches, setting up this showdown for revenge and the title. Notice that I can snap off those details without even seeing the highlight video while I could barely tell you how the main events of the last five Wrestlemanias were set up.

Jericho starts fast with a clothesline and spinwheel kick to send Regal outside as Heyman is in full on analysis mode. You can tell how excited he is to be here. Back in and a top rope back elbow gives Jericho two but Regal forearms his way out of the Walls attempt. Jericho’s bad shoulder goes into the post twice in a row and it’s time for some British limb punishment. An elbow to the face gives Jericho a breather but the Lionsault hits knees. The turnbuckle pad comes off and Regal sends the shoulder into the exposed steel so Jericho kicks him in the head.

A middle rope dropkick gets two but Regal goes right back to the shoulder. In something rather un-Regal, he takes Jericho up top for a butterfly superplex and another near fall. The Regal Stretch goes on until Jericho makes a rope. Right handed chops work a bit better for Jericho but a kick to the arm cuts him off again. The bulldog takes Regal down and the Lionsault out of nowhere retains the title at 7:08.

Rating: B-. This would have been a Kickoff match today so it’s a nice relief to have it actually get some attention rather than being background noise while the announcers previewed the more important stuff. These two beat the heck out of each other with Regal doing vile things to the shoulder. The ending came very suddenly but we got good stuff until we got there.

Shane McMahon arrives in the WCW-1 limo.

The APA and Jackie want to know where Tazz is, sending Bradshaw into an awesome speech about how important it is to be in the Astrodome because of all the sports traditions in the building and IT’S WRESTLEMANIA. I’ve always really liked this one.

APA/Tazz vs. Right to Censor

It’s Val Venis/Goodfather/Bull Buchanan for the RTC here and Tazz’s entrance cuts off Steven Richards’ rant. It’s a brawl to start with Jackie DDTing Richards until Tazz and Buchanan get things going. A big boot drops Tazz and it’s Venis coming in for two off a Russian legsweep. Goodfather gets a chance as well and whips Tazz into the ropes so hard that Tazz can’t even turn around in time.

The former Ho Train sets up a slow motion Vader Bomb with Tazz moving without much effort. It’s off to Bradshaw for a backdrop that barely gets Goodfather over and a better fall away slam to Venis. Everything breaks down and it’s the double spinebuster to Buchanan. A top rope belly to back superplex (with the cool looking ceiling making for an awesome visual) drops Venis, leaving Goodfather to miss the Ho Train so the Clothesline From Bradshaw can finish at 3:55.

Rating: D+. And that’s the worst match on the card. This could have been on Raw but it was a quick way to get the Texans on the card, which is hardly a bad idea. There was no reason for this to be any longer or any more evenly matches and for something like this, that’s all it needed to be. Sometimes you need a fun match instead of a long struggle and that’s what they had here.

Trish Stratus (currently Vince’s mistress) wheels in the catatonic Linda McMahon) but gets yelled at by Stephanie (in a much more compassionate way) for being late. Also, Trish needs to crack the ice for the champagne by hand.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Big Show vs. Kane

Raven, with a shopping cart full of toys, is defending so Heyman has some advice for him: “Run like h***.” Big Show comes out late so Raven this Kane with a plastic sign to no effect. Show (in his bad looking singlet phase) finally comes out so Kane throws Raven at him and comes off the top to the floor with the clothesline for two. They waste no time in fighting into the crowd and take their sweet time getting up to the stage (mainly because they’re in a freaking stadium) with Raven popping back up, only to be thrown partially through a wooden wall.

Show slams Kane onto a pile of wooden pallets and chases Raven into a caged storage area. The door is locked so Kane breaks it open and hits Show in the back with a broom. Raven chokes Kane with a garden hose but gets driven through the chain link wall. Kane isn’t finished and throws Raven through a glass window for a scary crash.

Not to be outdone, Show throws Kane through a regular door….so Kane shoves him through a wall. Raven pops in and grabs a golf cart, with Show jumping on the back for a crash (which according to Raven nearly knocked out the power to the entire building). Kane steals another golf cart and the referee hitches a ride, with Raven nearly being run over. This was supposed to start off some kind of a chase but for some reason it didn’t happen, probably time. Or Raven making the story up because he’s goofy like that.

They fight down the hallway and Raven goes through the drink table. That’s enough backstage as they head up some steps to the stage, with Kane winning a slugout with Show. A clothesline takes Kane down and Show gorilla presses Raven but they both get kicked off the stage and through part of the set. Kane drops an elbow/leg to pin Show for the title at 9:18.

Rating: C+. Completely different kind of match of course but I had a good time with it because they went with the full on goofy style instead of trying anything serious. The Hardcore Title was WAY past its usefulness at this point but at least they had some fun here. It didn’t need to be on the show, but would you rather watch another battle of the giants?

Kurt Angle obsessively watches footage of Chris Benoit making him tap out. Edge and Christian come in and say it’s going to be a big night for all three of them, though Angle only talks about how he didn’t officially tap.

Jimmy Snuka is at WWF New York. Cool enough.

An Australian fan is here. This was before the international feel really became a thing for Wrestlemania so this was a little different.

Rock arrives, forty minutes into the show. Are we really supposed to believe that people are just getting here after three matches? This has always bugged me for one reason or another.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Eddie is challenging and has Perry Saturn, in a big fuzzy hat, with him. Test starts with a layout powerbomb for an early two and a gorilla press drop sends Eddie face first onto the top turnbuckle. Eddie catches him on top but a super hurricanrana attempt is easily blocked with a simple grab of the rope. A top rope back elbow to the jaw (must be a Canadian thing) rocks Eddie but Test misses a charge….and gets his boot caught in the rope like a goon.

Thankfully Eddie is smart enough to distract the referee so Saturn can get in some right hands so Test doesn’t look incredibly stupid. The leg gets undone (with Eddie’s help) and Eddie starts in on the knee as he should be doing. With Heyman getting in the still annoying lines of “they’re the same size on the mat”, Eddie grabs a sleeper but gets taken down with a tilt-a-whirl slam. A tilt-a-whirl powerbomb gets two but Eddie kicks him low, allowing Saturn to come in with the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza.

JR: “HEY REF! THERE’S A THIRD MAN IN THE RING!” There has been a third man in the ring for the whole match Jim. Saturn was the fourth. Anyway, Eddie has to roll through the frog splash and gets caught with the pumphandle powerslam. That’s good for two after Test dispatches Saturn, followed by a big boot that so clearly misses Saturn that you can hear the fans’ non-reaction. Another big boot drops Eddie so Dean Malenko can run in for the save (seemed like he missed his spot, possibly because the aisle is so long). Test goes after him and it’s a belt shot to give Eddie the pin and the title at 8:03.

Rating: C-. Another match that could have been on Raw but was perfectly watchable for the most part. Eddie getting the title makes a lot more sense as Test wasn’t exactly a thrilling choice, though they took care of him a bit with all the interference that it took to get the title off of him. Not a good match or anything, but it’s not like it was anything atrocious.

Mick Foley promises to call the Vince vs. Shane street fight right down the line. Right here in Houston, Texas!

Austin arrives.

Ok so for those of you unfamiliar with this show, it might not have seemed great so far. The real show starts now.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

This has kind of an infamous build as they’re fighting because neither of them had anything else to do, as mentioned on Raw. In other words, “go out there and do your awesome stuff”. Angle insults the fans on the way to the ring, insisting that he has NEVER tapped out to Benoit. Oh and adults wearing cowboy hats look stupid. Amen brother. Heyman: “This is as excited as a man can get with his clothes on.” Thankfully the match starts so I can get that image out of my head.

Angle takes him down to start but Benoit gets on top before rolling away for a standoff, much to the fans’ appreciation. They go to the mat again with Angle trying to get to the leg but rolling into the ropes instead. The threat of a Crossface sends Angle bailing to the floor as it’s an even match so far. Back in and Angle takes him down again but the Crossface sends him straight back to the rope.

That’s enough for Angle, who forearms Benoit in the face and it’s time for a fight on the floor. Makes sense and that’s a great way to make Benoit look awesome. A very hard whip sends Benoit into the steps and a suplex gets two back inside. Since he’s rather good at analysis, Heyman points out that Angle is now cool with a pin instead of a submission, which is a bit of a concession to Benoit.

Angle snaps off some overhead belly to belly suplexes but eats a clothesline as JR and Heyman argue over the best amateur wrestlers ever. A snap suplex gives Benoit two and a superplex gets a delayed version of the same. You know Benoit can’t just two suplexes so we hit the rolling German suplexes, only to have the third reversed into the ankle lock (BIG reaction for that). Benoit reverses that into an ankle lock of his own so Angle kicks him in the head.

Now the Crossface goes on but Angle rolls into his own Crossface. After a foot on the rope is good for the save, Benoit grabs his own Crossface to make Angle tap but there’s no one to see it. The Angle Slam gets two and Kurt can’t believe it. Angle’s moonsault hits knees so Benoit connects with the Swan Dive for two more. You can feel the energy from the crowd on these near falls. Back up and Angle gets in a low blow, setting up a rollup with tights to pin Benoit at 14:04.

Rating: B+. That would be the first show stealing classic of the night with a sweet story of Angle wanting to prove that he’s the better wrestler but resulting to cheating while still being able to brag about the win. That’s also the kind of ending that can keep a feud going, which I guess I can survive if I absolutely have to. Great match, yet somehow not even close to their best.

William Regal goes into his office and finds Kamala, rubbing a picture of Queen Elizabeth on his stomach. I think this speaks for itself.

Clip of the Wrestlemania pep rally in Fort Hood, with various wrestlers getting plaques (Lita looks completely miserable), though Angle would rather have a medal. There was a parade and the boss got a WWF chair.

Angle insists that he was the better man tonight. Benoit comes in to make him tap again.

We recap Chyna vs. Ivory. The Right to Censor wasn’t happy with Chyna posing for Playboy and tried to censor her, which included a spike piledriver to hurt Chyna’s neck. Chyna came back but got hurt again, only to come back again and come for the title here.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

Chyna is defending and fires off a pyro gun from the stage for a cool entrance. Ivory gets in a belt shot to knock Chyna down and rains down forearms but a kick to the ribs is blocked and that’s about it. The champ gets thrown across the ring like she’s nothing and Chyna unloads in the corner. Some hard clotheslines (JR: “I guess we could call that a Chyna Line. Or maybe not.”) and a powerbomb have Ivory out cold but Chyna pulls her up at two. A gorilla press drop finishes Ivory instead, giving Chyna the title at 2:38. That’s exactly what this should have been and nothing more. Chyna would leave the company before losing the title.

Trish ensures Vince that she has doubled up Linda’s medication and will only bring her down when Shane is at his most vulnerable. Michael Cole, still the annoying interviewer, comes in and asks about the shocking development of Shane buying WCW. Vince: “You want shocking? Tonight, you’ll get shocking.” That’s a guarantee.

We recap Vince vs. Shane and egads there’s a lot to this one. So Vince was having a public affair with Trish and said that he wanted to divorce Linda, who had a nervous breakdown as a result. Vince put her in an institution and had her heavily medicated, basically leaving her as a vegetable (make your own jokes). Shane came back to stand up for his mom but Vince had him beaten down, getting in a great line with “I will never ever forgive your mother for giving birth to you”.

A street fight was set up with former Commissioner Mick Foley (as fired by Vince) pulling out a contract that he signed before being fired saying that he could referee the match. Then Shane bought WCW on Monday, making this the first battle in what should have been a years long promotional war. Got all that?

Shane McMahon vs. Vince McMahon

Street fight as required with Mick Foley refereeing. Shane comes out first and introduces the WCW stars in the skybox (Lance Storm, Stacy Keibler, Shawn Stasiak and Chavo Guerrero are visual). Apparently they were scheduled to do a run-in during the match but Stasiak spoiled the plans in an interview so this is all you get of them. Stephanie in a Daddy’s Girl jumpsuit, is here with Vince.

A slap to Shane’s face gets us going, even though Foley didn’t call for the bell. Vince chokes in the corner but Shane nails a clothesline and something close to a spear. Some elbows to the back draw Stephanie in for the save, plus a slap to Shane. Shane is smart enough to baseball slide Vince and hammer away instead of going after her, plus nailing a few shots to the back with a KEEP OFF sign. A clothesline from the barricade has Vince in trouble and Stephanie begging him to get up.

Shane hits him in the back with a kendo stick and follows with the punches, which look a lot better when Shane isn’t middle aged. A monitor to Vince’s head knocks him silly and Shane loads up the elbow off the top. One great looking dive and a Stephanie pull later leaves Shane crashing in a good landing. That’s enough for Trish to wheel Linda down, just as Vince instructed. Trish helps Vince up and then slaps him in the face, triggering the catfight with Stephanie (with the fans eating this up with a spoon).

Foley tries to break it up (like a gentleman….I think) so Stephanie slaps him too. Trish chases Stephanie up the aisle, with Stephanie doing the most overblown fall I can remember, with her arms flying into the air before she starts going down. She can’t look natural no matter what she does. The two of them leave and we cut back to Vince getting up and calling Linda a b****. Foley breaks that up so Vince chairs him down and puts Linda in the ring, sitting her in a chair in the corner.

Vince isn’t done and throws Shane inside, followed by a bunch of garbage cans. Some can shots to the head have the still near dead Shane in even more trouble. Vince loads up another shot…..and Linda stands up. The place actually goes nuts and the fans are literally on their feet, which you almost never see in wrestling. Shane points behind Vince, who turns around and gets kicked low. Foley comes back in and unloads on Vince, setting up the debut of Coast to Coast to give Shane the pin at 14:23.

Rating: C+. I’ve seen this show literally 100 or so times and I still smile at Linda kicking Vince. This was about five stories all coming together in the soap opera story of the show. It works really, really well with Linda of all people getting a crazy reaction. When the McMahons are on their game, they’re some of the most entertaining people in wrestling and that was the case here. It’s nothing from a quality standpoint, but from a soap opera car crash perspective, this was a blast and incredibly fun.

Yesterday at Axxess (which is rather dark and looks like nothing you would see today), the Hardys talked about how their feud with the Dudleys and Edge and Christian has to end with TLC II because it’s the most dangerous match in wrestling.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

The Dudleys are defending and it’s TLC II. I would recap the story, but it’s more or less “let them go nuts”. The entrances take some time and it’s a rare instance where you just know this is going to be incredible. Both sets of Boyz waste no time in jumping the Canadians as the fight is on in a hurry. Edge and Christian are sent outside, leaving the Hardys to take over with a double Poetry in Motion.

Not wanting to waste time, Edge and Christian bring in a ladder to drop everyone. Just to make it a little personal, they also stand on Matt’s crotch in the corner. Jeff gets drop toeholded face first into an open chair but it’s way too early for Edge to climb the ladder. A clothesline takes Matt off the ladder (which falls as well), leaving Jeff to dropkick Edge down as well. The Hardys set up a pair of ladders and drop Christian, setting up a legdrop/splash combination off said ladders for the first high spot.

The Dudleys come back in for What’s Up on Edge and let’s get some tables. Bubba powerbombs Jeff through Edge through a table and it’s time to set up four tables (two on top of two) outside. There’s no way that’s going to end well. Back in and Bubba SMACKS Matt in the head with a ladder, drawing a well deserved gasp from the crowd.

Three ladders are set up and all six climb, with Christian and Matt falling to one side (Christian just vanishes over the top and down onto the floor in an underrated bump), Jeff and D-Von falling to the other (and hitting the ropes) and Bubba and Edge knocking each other off to fall backwards. With all six down and one ladder left, here’s Spike Dudley (returning from injury) for a Dudley Dog to Edge off said ladder. Another one off the apron sends Christian through a table at ringside but here’s Rhyno (also taken out recently) to stop Jeff from going up.

Back to back Gores put Bubba and Matt down and Rhyno points Edge up a ladder. Now it’s Lita (Gored by Rhyno last week) coming in and “jerking Edge off” according to JR to bring him down from a ladder. There’s a hurricanrana to Rhyno and Spike chairs him into a ladder to knock Edge off. A Doomsday Device hits Rhyno and Lita cracks Spike in the head with a chair. Lita takes her top off but walks into the 3D, leaving Edge and Christian to chair the Dudleys down.

Edge sends Christian outside to get the big ladder, but you can’t have one of those with Jeff around. Jeff takes out Christian and climbs up the ladder (which is standing on the floor and equally as tall as the ones in the ring) for a huge Swanton onto Spike and Rhyno through a pair of tables. Well actually entirely through Spike as Rhyno was just grazed and his table didn’t even break. Edge brings the big ladder in and sets it up in front of three regular sized ladders.

Christian and D-Von go up the big one but Matt (“HERE WE GO!”) moves it from underneath them, leaving them hanging from the ring. They both fall so Jeff climbs up onto the regular ladders and tries to walk a tightrope to get to the titles but one of the ladders comes down. Instead he climbs a regular ladder and grabs the belt but Bubba takes the ladder away, leaving Edge to climb the big ladder for the highlight reel spear that made him look like even more of a star than he already did.

Two things about that spot: first of all, Jeff’s feet were caught in the ladder that Bubba moved so he swung forward into the spear to make it look even better. Second: a fan asked Edge if he was scared doing that in rehearsal. Edge: “YOU THINK WE DID THAT MORE THAN ONCE???”

As soon as we’re done with the replay, Rhyno shoves Bubba and Matt off the big ladder and through the four tables at ringside for the amazing crash. D-Von and Christian go up this time but Edge grabs D-Von and Rhyno gives Christian a boost to pull down the titles at 15:42. Edge and Christian clutching the titles and looking shell shocked is a great bonus.

Rating: A+. This was magnificent and it really does amaze me how structured they make this feel. They built things up over the course of this match with the fighting to start and then a few big spots, followed by the interference and then the sequence of show stealing spots (Jeff’s Swanton, the spear and the huge crash) to wrap it up. They managed to tell a story with what should just be a car crash match and that’s one of the most impressive things about this whole series. This is incredible and the best team ladder match ever, bar absolutely none.

Video on Axxess. This video was a big reason that I wanted to go to Wrestlemania, though this version looks WAY more fun than what you actually get, mainly due to the crazy long lines.

Heyman applauds TLC II. As he should.

Howard Finkel announces the new attendance record of 67,925.

Gimmick Battle Royal

Luke, Butch, Duke Droese, Iron Sheik, Earthquake, The Goon, Doink the Clown, Kamala, Kim Chee, Repo Man, Jim Cornette, Nikolai Volkoff, Michael Hayes, One Man Gang, Tugboat, Hillbilly Jim, Brother Love, Sgt. Slaughter

Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan are out for commentary, which is suddenly a lot sadder. If nothing else, it’s so satisfying to hear Heenan’s healthy voice before the cancer took away its greatness. This is one of the first nostalgia matches the company did n this kind of a stage and my goodness it still feels amazing. It also comes at the right time on the show as they needed to take a little breather after what we just saw.

Doink gets a nice reaction while Hillbilly Jim (who looks like he hasn’t aged a day) gets a VERY nice reaction, mainly because it’s such a fun gimmick. Hayes gets a big reaction, both from the fans and Heenan. Gang was supposed to be Akeem but couldn’t fit in the costume. Gene sounds like he has a nightmare about the Gooker, and yes we get the video of his debut. Repo Man is thrown out almost immediately and the Gooker is out second. Heenan: “This looks like a riot at Let’s Make A Deal!”

Tugboat is tossed as well and Kamala tosses Earthquake, who Gene almost calls by his real name. Kamala eliminates Kim Chee (what loyalty) and Luke is out next. Cornette is out (he and Love had agreed to stay in the corner and lightly hit each other but kept messing up and wound up injuring each other in mistakes straight out of the Three Stooges) and Droese follows him as you might be able to tell that this isn’t about the actual wrestling.

Goon and Volkoff go out next and Doink eliminates Butch. Kamala tosses Doink (and gets booed out of the building), with Hayes, Gang and Kamala going out as well. We’re down to Love, Sheik, Hillbilly and Slaughter but before I can even write those names, Sheik dumps Hillbilly to win at 3:05, mainly because he was too frail to be tossed out.

Rating: A. Consider the reason for the match and you’ll get why the rating makes sense. The match itself lasted just over three minutes while the entrances took 10:28. The entire point of this was to let these guys have one last entrance on the big stage and give the fans a nostalgia trip, which worked perfectly well. I had a good time here and it’s great way to let things lighten up a bit before we get to the last two matches.

Post match Slaughter comes in and gives Sheik the Cobra Clutch to stand tall one more time.

We recap Undertaker vs. HHH. After beating Austin two straight falls at No Way Out, HHH said he had beaten everyone there was to beat. Undertaker came out and said HHH had never beaten him. HHH jumped Undertaker and choked him with a chair (HHH: “You’re the guy that makes people famous. I’m already famous. I’m famous for crippling people.”) so Undertaker beat up his limo with a pipe.

HHH came back with a restraining order keeping Undertaker from Stephanie, so Undertaker had Kane kidnap Stephanie and threaten to throw her off a balcony until the match was made. Not yet done, HHH even destroyed Undertaker’s motorcycle with a sledgehammer. You can feel the hatred here and that’s the kind of video where WWE excels.

HHH vs. Undertaker

Motorhead plays HHH to the ring in one of the all time great entrances, especially with a wide shot of the entrance and a shadowed HHH stepping out and posing to show just how grand the stage really is. Undertaker rides the motorcycle down the long ramp with more speed than you’ll ever see on a wrestling show for a nowhere near as cool (yet still cool) visual. Oh and as a Network bonus: Rollin is still used as the theme rather than the bizarre times where they dub in the Ministry theme.

The fight is on in a hurry on the floor and HHH is knocked through the makeshift Spanish announcers’ table. They get in for the opening bell, with JR mentioning Undertaker being 8-0 at Wrestlemania. The fact that we weren’t even halfway to the first loss is really incredible and makes the already other worldly Streak all the more impressive. A big backdrop has HHH in trouble and a running clothesline in the corner rocks him again. There’s a running powerslam (which I don’t ever remember Undertaker using otherwise) but an elbow misses.

Old School (Is it Old School all the way back in 2001?) is broken up with a pull off the top, which is fair enough as Undertaker was just standing there. HHH elbows him in the back of the head and gets in another to the chest, setting up a neckbreaker for three straight two’s. The yelling at the referee lets Undertaker fire off the punches to the ribs but walks into the facebuster. The sledgehammer is brought in but the referee takes it away. Undertaker has to counter the Pedigree and the referee gets bumped in the corner.

A chokeslam gives HHH two and he’s not happy with the slow count, meaning it’s a beatdown on the referee. Well a kick and elbow drop to the back but for a referee that’s a heck of a beating. Undertaker throws HHH over the corner and takes it outside with HHH being backdropped over the barricade. They fight up to the technical area with Undertaker hammering away and tossing HHH up to a higher level.

HHH finds a chair though and destroys Undertaker with about nine shots about the head and knee. Too much posing takes too much time though and Undertaker is back up with a chokeslam off the tower for an awesome visual (I miss flashbulbs in wrestling). Undertaker isn’t done though as he climbs onto the barricade and drops a very big elbow onto HHH (revealing that he landed on a crash pad, taking away a lot of the impressiveness).

The medics get beaten up and they head back to the ring, where the referee is still down, about seven minutes after he was kicked and elbowed. Back in the ring and Undertaker grabs the sledgehammer but gets low blowed to save HHH’s life. Undertaker kicks the hammer out of HHH’s hands and the slugout is on. HHH tries a Tombstone but gets reversed into the real thing for no count, because the referee hasn’t moved in TEN MINUTES.

Undertaker finally goes over and shakes him before calling for the Last Ride. It’s not well placed though as HHH grabs the hammer and nails Undertaker in the head to counter….for two, in a great near fall (these two are great at those). Undertaker is busted open so HHH hammers away in the corner and it’s the Last Ride (I believe the debut of that counter so it’s not even a cliché yet) for the pin at 18:19.

Rating: A. Sweet goodness I love this match as they beat the heck out of each other because they wanted revenge. That’s how you do a match like this and there was nothing overly cowardly from HHH for a change. They were testing each other throughout the match and that made for a heck of a fight, which is all you could ask for. Well that and some better medical care for the referee. This one holds up very, very well and I like it better than their second Wrestlemania match at XXVII. Check this one out if you haven’t seen it in a long time, or even if you have because it’s that good.

And in case we haven’t had enough greatness on this show, there’s this left.

We recap Steve Austin vs. the Rock with the legendary My Way video. Austin was out for about a year with neck surgery and Rock became the biggest star in the world in his absence. Austin is back and won the Royal Rumble, with Rock winning the WWF Title the next month to set up the showdown of showdowns.

This turned into a game of oneupsmanship with the two of them using their own moves against each other and beating the heck out of each other over and over. You knew this was going to be special because the energy was right there in front of your eyes. The final exchange is perfect too. Rock: “You are going to get the absolute best of the Rock at Wrestlemania.” Austin: “I need to beat you Rock. I need it more than anything that you can ever imagine. There can be only one World Wrestling Federation Champion, and that will be Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin.” Do you need anything else?

Well you certainly didn’t need the ridiculous Debra involvement (Austin’s wife, who Vince had managing the Rock), which thankfully isn’t brought up or referenced in any significant way outside of the video because it was a bad idea that didn’t help anything. It would have dragged things down, and thankfully it’s just not here.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Austin is challenging and it’s No DQ, announced just before the entrances. Austin’s entrance still gives me chills as it’s one of the best of all time as he’s reached a level of popularity in Texas (or anywhere for that matter) that is unmatched anywhere. Throw in JR’s incredible commentary (as only he could do) and a camera shot of Austin walking up to the second rope for the pose with all the flashbulbs going off and the camera zooming out to show all the people) and it’s hard to ever top. Rock….isn’t that popular here, but you had to know that was coming.

Austin’s “are you kidding me” look up at Rock as he poses is great and the fight is on as soon as Rock comes down. An early belt shot misses Rock so it’s the Thesz press and middle finger elbow as they start fast. Rock grabs a swinging neckbreaker but it’s too early for the Rock Bottom. The Stunner can’t hit for either of them so Austin throws him over the top rope as we’re not even a minute in yet. They head into the crowd with Rock getting the better of it and bringing it back to ringside. A clothesline takes Rock down but Austin has to adjust his knee brace.

The running crotch attack to the back gets two and a superplex keeps Rock in trouble. The turnbuckle pad is taken off but Rock nails a clothesline and they fight outside again. Austin gets sent into the ring bell but comes right back up with a bell shot for a knockdown. The bloody Rock is sent through the announcers’ table (a running theme tonight) and it’s back inside for more right hands. Rock’s comeback is booed so Austin gets in his own swinging neckbreaker to get the fans back, plus a two count as a bonus.

Stomping and choking in the corner has Rock in even more trouble but Austin stops to yell at the referee, allowing Rock to charge out of the corner with the hard clothesline. There’s a middle finger to Austin and he goes face first into the buckle. Instead of covering, Rock brings in the bell and clocks Austin (more booing) to bust him open for two. Right hands knock Austin outside but he drops Rock onto the barricade.

The catapult sends Rock into the post for that always awesome bump where he spins sideways. A monitor to the head gives Austin two but the Stunner is countered into the Sharpshooter for a Wrestlemania XIII callback. The hold is finally broken, though Austin comes up holding his knee. A rake to the eyes gets Austin out of a second attempt and he slaps on a Sharpshooter of his own.

Austin’s whip spinebuster gives him two more and frustration sets in even deeper. Rock gets a spinebuster of his own and there’s the People’s Elbow but Vince breaks up the cover. Shockingly enough Rock isn’t happy and chases the rather spry Vince, right into a Rock Bottom from Austin for two more. The ref gets bumped (not sure why it’s necessary in a No DQ match) and Austin hits Rock low. Austin tells Vince to bring in a chair and the boss gets in a shot to Rock’s head, with Vince throwing the referee in for the two count.

A quick Rock Bottom gets Rock a breather but he has to drag Vince inside instead of covering. Another Stunner gets another two so Vince hands him a chair for a heck of a shot to the head. That’s another two and the fans are cheering for the kickouts. Austin has had it and DESTROYS Rock with an insane sixteen straight chair shots for the pin and the title at 28:06 to a monster pop.

Post match Vince and Austin shake hands, officially ending the Attitude Era. Of note: Vince told Austin before the match that if he wasn’t feeling it, he could Stun Vince and they would figure it out the next day. That’s some incredible control to give a wrestler but Austin didn’t go with it. He did however say this was a bad idea in retrospect. Austin and Vince share a beer over Rock’s body and it’s one more belt shot to Rock to wrap things up as JR wants answers.

The long highlight package ends the show with My Way playing us out. Oh and one more thing. The song talks about how someone wants one more fight and then he’ll do things someone’s way. So, after three years, Vince could say to Austin that’s finally doing things…..“my way.” If that’s what they were going for, I need to buy a hat and take it off for them because that’s outstanding.

Ratings Comparison

Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

2019 Redo: B-

Right to Censor vs. Tazz/A.P.A.

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: D+

Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: C-

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: B+

Chyna vs. Ivory

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

2019 Redo: N/A

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: C+

Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

Gimmick Battle Royal

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: A

2019 Redo: A

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

2019 Redo: A

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A++

2015 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

I think I’m done with this one as the ratings are barely changing every time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/24/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-17-oh-yes/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/26/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvii-the-greatest-show-of-all-time/

And the 2015 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvii-2015-redo-see-the-previous-comment/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 19,776
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was one of the shows that tied for the most votes for a redo but I’ve seen Wrestlemania X, the other option, more times than I really need to and this sounded more interesting. It’s kind of an infamous Wrestlemania as there are no singles matches on the entire show but it is the biggest show of the year in the best year WWE has ever seen. Let’s get to it.

Lilian Garcia sings the Star Spangled Banner. Sweet goodness she can knock that out of the park.

The opening video is a quick “hey it’s Wrestlemania” before looking at the four way main event with a McMahon in each corner. That’s all that really matters here, but it’s quite the big deal.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Ice T. raps Godfather and Brown to the floor with an original song, including telling the fans to “GRAB YOUR B******!” Brown slugs away at Buchanan to start and it’s off to Godfather in a hurry. That means a slam into the spinning legdrop, only to miss the big elbow (which would have missed by three feet anyway). Boss Man comes in and the fans aren’t pleased, mainly because this is their opener.

It’s back to Buchanan, who hits that perfect top rope spinning clothesline so Boss Man can come in for the running crotch attack to the back. A big boot into the ax kick gets two as Lawler can’t help but freak out over Godfather’s ladies. Buchanan whips Brown into the steps and it’s back inside for the bearhug.

The fans get on Boss Man again as Brown fights out, only to get caught with a backbreaker as JR makes XFL references. Buchanan goes up so Godfather shakes the rope for the crotching. A hurricanrana allows the hot tag to Godfather and there’s the Ho Train to Boss Man. Everything breaks down and it’s a Boss Man Slam to Brown, followed by the great looking guillotine legdrop for the pin at 9:05.

Rating: D+. What a completely bizarre opener. This would have been a filler match on any given episode of Raw and it’s the first thing you see on Wrestlemania? With the heels winning? It’s a really weird choice here and serves no major purpose, so why go this way? The crowd was surprised and a bit deflated, which is a rather stupid choice to open the show. Totally weird one here.

HHH and Stephanie, the Women’s Champion, are rather chill before the huge main event.

We see Crash handing over the Hardcore Title so it can be defended in the Hardcore Battle Royal.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Crash, Tazz, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Hardcore Holly, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Mosh, Thrasher, Faarooq, Bradshaw

Crash is defending and this is a big free for all with falls counting anywhere. Whoever gets the final fall leaves as champion, with no limit on the title changes allowed. It’s a brawl to start and Tazz suplexes Crash for the pin at 24 seconds. Viscera grabs Tazz for a posting and a World’s Strongest Slam gives him the title at 56 seconds.

A bunch of people brawl around the ring but another bunch go after Viscera. The Acolytes can’t put him down, though Hardcore can bust Crash open with a shot to the head. The weapons shots continue with no one getting any serious advantage until Hardcore hits Viscera with a cookie sheet for two. More violence ensues as we hit five minutes, though Viscera is starting to slow down.

Abs suplexes him for the title at 6:37 to go but gets sent into a door so Thrasher can pin him with 6:18 to go. Back in the arena and the bloody Pete Gas sprays Thrasher with a fire extinguisher for the title with 5:32 to go. They go back to ringside and Tazz suplexes Pete for the title with 4:44 to go. In the confusion, Tazz even rolls Thrasher up for one, with the referee counting out of insanity. The Hollys double team Tazz inside until he trashcan lids his way to freedom, including a shot to Crash’s head for two.

We have two minutes left as the Hollys fight over who gets to pin Tazz, as you might have seen coming. Hardcore’s dropkick gets two with a minute left but he gets suplexed out, leaving him alone in the ring. Crash comes back in for a cookie sheet shot for the title at 37 seconds left.

Tazz grabs the Tazmission but Hardcore busts a jar of candy over Tazz’s head for the pin and the title at 1 second left to win the thing at 15:00. That was a botched ending as the referee stopped counting at 2 because Hardcore came in too early and shouldn’t have gotten the pin. Also, allegedly, Tazz was supposed to get a run as Intercontinental Champion (possibly in the role that went to Chris Benoit) but the glass got in his eye and he was out of action for a few months as a result.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure what to say about this one, but the biggest problem is it goes on a bit too long. Cut this down to ten minutes and it’s better, as what they have loses its charm a bit near the end. The ending being botched didn’t help things either and there is no big moment that makes you chuckle. It’s not a disaster or anything, but it’s nothing memorable either.

We look at Axxess, which was still a new thing back then. Chris Jericho thinks everyone is here to him, and he might be right. It’s so weird seeing it still be what looks to be a smaller function, compared to the insanity that it is today. This goes on for a good while, likely to clean up the arena.

We look at the battle royal ending again, because it was that much of a mess.

Al Snow talks to someone in a bathroom stall because he has some idea. Steve Blackman comes in and tells him to be serious.

We cut to a closeup of Trish Stratus’ chest, just in case you thought the next match meant a thing.

An enziguri takes Albert down so it’s back to Blackman, who gets shouldered down. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Test gets sent outside. That leaves Albert to get suplexed and Snow slowly hammers away as the match somehow grinds to more of a halt. Blackman’s middle rope headbutt gets two as Chester starts hitting on Trish. Lawler: “It’s like Chester the Molester.”

Albert knocks Blackman away and brings in Test to pick up the pace in a weird near hot tag from the heels. A powerbomb gets two on Snow because this needs to keep going, including the bowling shoe line from JR. Snow is back up with a backbreaker/guillotine legdrop combination for two on Test. Albert gorilla presses Test onto Blackman for two with Snow making the save. He gets knocked down, leaving Blackman to get press slammed again, setting up Test’s top rope elbow for the pin at 7:00.

Rating: F. Other than Trish, this is one of the most irredeemable matches I’ve seen in years. There was no heat, there was no good action and there was no reason to keep this going. I’m not sure what the thinking was going into this but it was a disaster in every sense of the word. This is up there with some of the worst Wrestlemania matches ever and the only reason it’s not higher is the stakes are so low.

Post match, Snow and Blackman beat up Chester because the loss was his fault. Somehow, this made things even worse, if that’s possible.

Kat is in the back with Mae Young and we get an Austin Powers style gag with Mae holding up various objects at rather opportune times to cover various things.

The Dudley Boyz aren’t happy with being in a ladder match but they’re ready to walk out as champions. This is when Bubba still had the southern accent and it’s bizarre to see these days.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

The Dudleys are defending in the first ever triangle ladder match. There isn’t exactly a story here, because that would be missing the point in a match like this. Edge and Christian jump the Hardys before the bell and the fight is on with the champs still in the aisle. As usual, the three brawls break out at the same time and they wind up all around the arena. Bubba gives Jeff a Bubba Bomb and Christian throws in the first ladder.

Everyone winds up inside with ladders crushing the Dudleys in the corner. Edge gets laddered down as well and Jeff hits a DDT on Bubba. Jeff’s 450 hits ladder though, leaving Bubba to put the ladder on him and Bubba Bomb said ladder. Another ladder is put on top of Matt so Edge rides a ladder down, Shawn Michaels style, to crush him again. Back up and Bubba puts the ladder on his head for the Terry Funk helicopter spot until the Canadians dropkick him down.

The double flapjack puts D-Von into the ladder in the corner, followed by Christian climbing a ladder and diving down onto Bubba and Matt. Jeff climbs up so Edge spears him off the top rope in a big crash. Multiple ladders are set up in the middle and it’s Bubba cuttering Christian off for the next double knockdown. The Hardys are back up with the splash/legdrop combination to Bubba, followed by a superplex to bring D-Von off the ladder.

Edge and Christian and the Hardys climb but take each other back down and it’s a huge double crash. A third ladder is set up and all six climb, with the Hardys taking a crazy bump over the top to the floor, with Christian and Edge being shoved onto the ropes for a nice crash of their own. Back in and Christian gets crushed with the ladder, leaving Edge to take 3D (the old version, with Bubba getting a running start). Some tables are thrown in and the Dudleys bridge one up on top of a pair of ladders like a scaffold.

The Hardys make the save because that took a long time but the Dudleys are right back up too. Bubba sets up a table at ringside and climbs onto a table (JR: “Not the Spanish announce table!”) and powerbombs Matt through it. D-Von’s splash misses Jeff and only hits table so Jeff runs the barricade at Bubba, who throws a ladder at him for the nasty crash.

Just to make it worse, Bubba sets up the huge ladder in the aisle with a table for a bonus. Christian pops back up and saves Jeff with a bell shot though, leaving Bubba on the table. You know what that means, as Jeff goes up and hits the CRAZY Swanton to crush Bubba (who sells it like death). Back in and Matt goes up, only to get shoved off the platform and through the table, leaving Edge and Christian to win their first (of a freaking ton) Tag Team Titles at 22:31.

Rating: A. I could watch these every day, but egads they are some violent matches. They beat the heck out of each other and it’s some of the most exciting things you’ll see. One of them was once told that they weren’t supposed to be telling stories in these matches but they were managing to pull it off. That’s absolutely the case, as the series of matches that started here would just get better. It’s almost impossible to believe they would wind up being so amazing, but this was quite awesome in its own right, with the ending being a pretty cool visual. Check this out if you haven’t in awhile.

Linda McMahon tells Mick Foley to go get it tonight. Foley talks about how this is the biggest show of the year and it’s the biggest match ever, so it’s the biggest match of all time. Tonight, he’s proving that fairy tales come true for him. I’ve watched a lot of Foley over the years and you can hear it in his voice: this means the world to him.

The Kat vs. Terri

Mae Young and Moolah are the respective seconds, Val Venis is refereeing and you win by throwing the other woman to the floor. Val gets in his usual jokes about how this is the big show and only comes once a year, but…..yeah you get the joke here. The catfight is on in a hurry but Kat stops to kiss Val. A few hair tosses let Terri pose but Kat nails a spear. Mae gets on the apron and tries to take off her clothes, meaning Val misses Kat throwing Terri out. Moolah goes after Terri so Mae can kiss Val, allowing Moolah to pull Kat to the floor, giving Terri the win at 2:23. This was somehow worse than the usual women’s match of the day.

Post match Mae hits Moolah and gives her the Bronco Buster. Kat strips off Terri’s pants for a bonus.

The Radicalz are ready for their six man match but Eddie Guerrero is more worried about his hair. And Chyna.

Chyna is disgusted.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

The Radicalz (minus Benoit here) have only been around about two and a half months here. Eddie and Scotty circle each other to start until Eddie’s headlock makes Scotty lose his hat. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Eddie so Scotty dances over to Chyna, meaning Eddie needs to crawl to the corner in a hurry. As JR talks about Chyna looking great, it’s a double suplex to drop Dean, allowing Chyna and Grandmaster to dance a bit.

Grandmaster slams Malenko and makes that weird noise of his, followed by a belly to back suplex to Guerrero. Saturn breaks up the Hip Hop Drop though and it’s the Radicalz taking over for the first time. Just to make it personal, Saturn STEALS GRANDMASTER’S HEAD THING and stomps away even more. Grandmaster doesn’t like the hat stealing and gets over for the tag a few seconds later, only to have Scotty get dropped ribs first onto the top rope. Lawler: “Chyna starting to feel the heat. She’s starting to perspire and get moist!”

Eddie gyrates at her a bit before sending her into the turnbuckle, earning himself a Grandmaster suplex to the floor. Everything breaks down and it’s a double Worm (JR: “Not the double Worm! Well it is Wrestlemania!”) to Saturn and Malenko. The referee grabs Chyna to keep her from killing Eddie and Saturn superkicks Scotty.

The always great looking top rope elbow mostly misses so Scotty can superplex Eddie down. Chyna comes in off the hot tag and cleans house, including a double low blow to Saturn and Malenko. Eddie tries to powerbomb Chyna but she slips out into one of her own (with almost no elevation), setting up the gorilla press for the big spot. A sleeper drop finishes Guerrero at 9:39.

Rating: B-. The wrestling wasn’t anything great but they did an awesome job of firing up the crowd. The people wanted to see what they were doing here and it was a lot of fun as a result. They pulled me into this and I was having a good time with the whole thing. Chyna wasn’t what she used to be but the stuff with Eddie was awesome and would get better the next night when they got together.

Some fans won a contest and were flown to Wrestlemania on the day of the show.

Shane McMahon is ready for Big Show to win the WWF Title.

We see Kurt Angle laying out Bob Backlund for getting him in a two fall triple threat match. Angle didn’t need him anymore and never really did in the first place so good job on splitting them up.

Kurt Angle tries to get extra security after he retains his titles tonight. He’s willing to sign autographs for the guard’s kids! Maybe. Goofy, delusional Kurt is one of my all time favorites and always has been.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and this is a two fall match, with the Intercontinental Title on the line first and the European Title second. Jericho can’t guarantee walking out as a champion but he’ll walk out as the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah. As for Kirk Angel and Mr. Roboto, they can have a shirt remind them of their trip to Anaheim and a Y2J beating. Jericho was still finding his footing with the signature promos in the WWF but they would get way better in a hurry.

They start fast with Benoit getting the better of it until Jericho triangle dropkicks the two of them to the floor. Jericho goes up but gets shoved down onto the announcers’ table, leaving Benoit to suplex Angle for two. Back in and Jericho dropkicks Angle down for two more but has to break up Angle’s cover on Benoit for the same. Angle suplexes Jericho for another two and a dropkick puts Benoit on the floor. The crossface chickenwing has Jericho in trouble but Benoit makes the save. A Swan Dive finishes Jericho for the first fall and the Intercontinental Title at 7:54.

Benoit gets smart by going for the cover on Jericho again but Angle comes in with a suplex for his own two. Jericho catches Angle on top but Benoit belly to back superplexes Jericho, leaving Angle to miss the moonsault. Everyone is down until Benoit has to save Angle from the Walls. The spinwheel kick puts Benoit on the floor and it’s the double powerbomb to Angle. Benoit is right back in with the rolling German suplexes for two on Jericho as Angle makes another save.

There’s a dragon suplex for two on Angle, with the most ridiculous count I’ve seen in a long time as Angle’s shoulder is on top of Benoit’s. The ref gets bumped (maybe it can fix his eyes), meaning Benoit making Jericho tap to the Crossface doesn’t mean anything. A belt shot drops Jericho as the referee is back up, just as Benoit misses the Swan Dive. Jericho gets back in and Lionsaults Benoit for the European Title at 13:47.

Rating: B. This is always a weird one as it’s some pretty intricate booking (with Angle being very protected in losing both titles) but it didn’t feel urgent for a lot of the match. They were just going from move to move a lot of the time, but it’s still one of the best things on the show. It’s not like these three could ever do badly, so the match was entertaining and almost non-stop action, so it’s a lot more good than bad.

Vince McMahon promises to be a factor and guarantees to make it right.

HHH doesn’t care about what Vince says because tonight he’s going to show everyone who the man is.

X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Kane/Rikishi

X-Pac and Dogg have Tori with them, along with the awesome Run-DMC theme. Kane on the other hand has Paul Bearer and the always cool inverted red and black attire. Tori slaps Bearer to start so Kane grabs her by the throat as Rikishi gives Road Dogg the Stinkface. X-Pac and Dogg fail to run away and we settle down to X-Pac kicking hitting the Bronco Buster on Rikishi.

Dogg’s dancing punches set up the shaky knee for two but Rikishi grabs a pop up cutter (that’s an awesome move and someone should use it as a finisher). It’s back to Kane and the pain begins in a hurry. X-Pac gets away from the threat of a Stinkface so Tori takes it instead, giving the fans what they had been waiting on. The Tombstone finishes X-Pac at 4:16.

Rating: D. The match was just a means to an end here as you needed a way to get to Tori taking the Stinkface and X-Pac getting dropped on his head. That’s fine from a storyline perspective, though I’m not sure I would have had it second from the top of Wrestlemania. Not a good match, but what were you expecting given this lineup?

Post match Too Cools out, meaning it’s time to dance. Hold on though as the San Diego Chicken, as in the disguise that Pete Rose wore last year, is here as well. Dancing ensues and the Chicken is far too good of a dancer to be Pete Rose. Kane grabs the chicken (there has to be a joke there somehow) but Rose runs in with the baseball bat. Rikishi takes that away so Kane chokeslams Rose, setting up the Stinkface to end the Rose saga for a good many years.

Rock is ready for the final battle and of course he would do it all over again. This is Wrestlemania and it’s not about the McMahons (oh please) because it’s all about the WWF Championship and tonight is the night.

Some celebrities are here.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Mick Foley vs. Big Show vs. HHH

HHH is defending, elimination rules, and there’s a McMahon in every corner, with Vince, Linda, Shane and Stephanie here respectively. They might as well have just had the McMahons working the match as they’re the only things that matter here. JR: “Not Mankind, not Dude Love, not Mankind, but Mick Foley is in the main event of Wrestlemania!” That made me smile so much. Foley and HHH pair off as Rock punches Show in the corner to start in a hurry. HHH gets hammered down to start up the running knee but Show runs them both over with a double clothesline.

Rock gets gorilla pressed and there’s one for HHH as well. Foley tries choking Show, who drops down hard onto him to cut that off in a hurry. There’s a side slam to Rock but Foley kicks Show low to break up a chokeslam to HHH. It’s time to triple team Show, including a series of clotheslines to finally knock him down. The Cactus Clothesline takes HHH to the floor, meaning Foley can beat on HHH with a chair. Shane gets knocked off the apron and a chair shot to Show lets the Rock Bottom get the first pin at 4:48.

It winds up going into Foley’s ribs though, meaning Rock had to make a save from even more violence. A double arm DDT sets up the Mandible Claw and Rock adds a belt shot. That means the People’s Elbow, but Foley grabs the Claw on the Rock in a smart move. HHH low blows both of them (maybe not the brightest move) and everyone is down for a bit. Foley hammers Rock a bit and gets two off the DDT, with the fans being rather relieved by the kickout.

Rock kicks the chair into Foley’s face and a DDT gets two, with HHH making a rather illogical save. NOW Foley is willing to team up on Rock and the fans really aren’t sure what to think of this one. The running knee gets two on Rock and this time HHH doesn’t make a save. There’s a double suplex for two more and the ROCKY chants start up again.

A steps shot puts Rock down and Foley loads up the middle rope elbow, only to slam HARD ribs first into the side of the announcers’ table (it’s sad seeing that he just can’t do it here). HHH drives Foley through the table and Pedigrees Foley for two, with a big reaction from the crowd. A chair to the head sets up a Pedigree onto the chair to get rid of Foley (for good I’m sure) at 19:40.

A hard piledriver onto the steps has JR demanding/begging that the match be stopped and gives HHH a rather delayed two back inside. The Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop over the top so they fight into the crowd again. After knocking Rock over the barricade, HHH knocks a fan’s hat off to be extra nasty. Rock gets in a shot of his own and they’re both down at ringside again. A suplex sends HHH through the announcers’ table and it’s another double knockdown.

HHH sends Rock inside so Vince posts HHH, drawing Shane back out to jump Vince (you knew this stuff was coming). A monitor shot to the head knocks Vince silly and gives us one of the funniest stunned expressions I’ve ever seen from Stephanie (look that one up if you get the chance). Vince fights up and beats on Shane, because the main event of Wrestlemania can be ignored for the sake of more drama between these two. A chair to the head drops Vince and Shane even threatens the massive Michael Clarke Duncan at ringside.

Cue Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco to get the busted open Vince out of here so we can go back to the actual match. Rock DDTs HHH for two but a shot to the face puts Rock right back down. The Pedigree is countered into a catapult to cut off an interfering Shane and the Rock Bottom connects. There’s no cover due to exhaustion so here’s Vince again (a full two minutes after he left) to go after Shane yet again. Vince grabs the chair….and of course turns on Rock with a shot to the head for two. Another chair shot from Vince retains the title at 36:26.

Rating: C-. It’s too much. There were so many instances here where I kept wondering how many more times we were going to have the McMahons get involved or have the guys fight into the crowd. Storyline wise, this would have been WAY better as a run of the mill singles match, but I can go with having Foley in there for the sentimental moment. Show….well they had an extra McMahon. At the end of the day though, it was all about the McMahons instead of Rock winning the title like he should have, with the family stuff being more of the same stuff we had seen for years. It’s not terrible, but cut out the nonsense and it’s better.

Post match Vince and Stephanie hug because all is well in part of the McMahon Family again. Shane comes in to look at Vince but gets Rock Bottomed. Vince gets one as well and Stephanie takes the third in a row, followed by the People’s Elbow.

A long highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m not sure what they were going for here but it missed pretty badly. The problem here comes down to the fact that most of the matches just aren’t very good. TLC Beta and the triple threat are both great to rather good, but no one cared about the ladder match after TLC debuted five months later and the trio would have one great match against each other after another on higher levels. This doesn’t really feel like a Wrestlemania as there is way too much stuff that serves as little more than filler. It’s not the worst Wrestlemania ever, but it’s rather close to the bottom of the pile.

Ratings Comparison

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D+

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: C-

Original: F

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

2020 Redo: F

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo A-

2020 Redo: A

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

2020 Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

2020 Redo: B-

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

2020 Redo: B

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C+

2020 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: D+

Where did that six person tag one come from? And have I ever been that all over the place like I am on the Hardcore Battle Royal?

Not much changes in a few years.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/25/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvi-the-worst-show-from-the-best-year/

And the 2015 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xiv-2015-redo-time-to-play-the-game/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2001
Date: January 21, 2001
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 16,056
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s been a bit since I’ve looked at this one and it’s still one of the more fondly remembered Rumbles. The WWF is on fire at the moment and the big story is the return of Steve Austin, who wants the WWF Title back. Said title is currently help by Kurt Angle, who is defending against HHH. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on how this could be several people’s only chance to be WWF Champion. People like Albert! Billy Gunn! The Rock! Undertaker! The Rock and Undertaker again!

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

Edge and Christian are defending and the Dudleys are getting over concussions (because you could just wrestle with them back in the day). The Dudleys start fast, not even waiting for the recap video to end. They fight to the floor for a bit with the Dudleys keeping them in trouble. Back in and D-Von slugs away at Edge, followed by a neckbreaker.

Christian comes in and gets double shouldered for two as commentary talks about the. I Dudleys’ concussions (which don’t seem to be bothering them). A headscissors out of the corner puts Bubba down and he grabs his head, even as he takes Christian into the corner. D-Von comes in but gets Russian legsweeped and neckbreakered for a pair of two’s.

The chinlock goes on and Bubba gets to play cheerleader (which is quite the disturbing visual). Naturally the fans want tables as D-Von counters out of a piledriver and catapults Edge into Christian. A double clothesline leaves everyone but Bubba down, meaning it’s a tag…which the referee doesn’t see.

Bubba argues with the referee, leaving D-Von to have to duck a Conchairto attempt. Another clothesline is enough to bring Bubba back in to clean house, including a Bubba Bomb to send Christian outside. There’s What’s Up to Edge so naturally it’s table time. Christian breaks it up but Bubba rolls Edge up for two. The 3D is broken up as well, with Edge’s spear getting two on Bubba. Edge tries his own What’s Up but a quick reversal means it hits Christian. The 3D gives us new champions at 10:04.

Rating: B-. This is one of those pairings that is virtually impossible to screw up and they seem to understand that concept. You could run these teams and the Hardys for pretty much ever and the WWF did just that to some great success. This wasn’t even a great match, but it was more than entertaining enough to start the show off and keep the fans interested. The title change to cap it off made things even better so nice job early on.

During Heat, Drew Carey arrived. I’m sure that won’t go anywhere.

Earlier tonight, Vince McMahon clarified that Steve Austin will be in the Royal Rumble tonight despite getting in a fight with HHH, which violated an agreement. Kurt Angle caused the fight though and therefore everything is still on. This was more to clarify some confusion and that’s a good thing.

HHH and Stephanie McMahon are in their locker room, with HHH saying that he needs her to put her hatred for Trish Stratus aside during the title match aside. Stephanie says if Trish puts her nose….or anything else in their way, she’ll deal with her. Drew Carey comes in, says he hasn’t been watching much lately, and talks about running into Kamala at the airport. HHH tries to shoo him away, so Drew plugs his upcoming comedy pay per view and goes to find Vince McMahon. Stephanie offers to take him to meet Trish Stratus. This was prime Stephanie “NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS AND YOU’RE NOT SCARY”.

The APA show each other their Rumble numbers and think it’ll be interesting. Crash Holly comes in and says they may be friends but he’ll eliminate them if he has to. Bradshaw: “And they call us drunks.”

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit in a ladder match for the Intercontinental Title. They’ve been feuding for a good while so it’s time for the big blowoff match. This isn’t a feud that needs that much of of a story and WWE seems to get that.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Benoit is defending in a ladder match. They go right after it to start with Jericho elbowing him down. Jericho stomps away in the corner but has to block a Crossface attempt. Benoit sends him into the post but Jericho knocks him to the apron. The triangle dropkick misses and they fall out to the floor so let’s go for the ladder. Jericho’s baseball slide misses the ladder so Benoit sends him hard into the steps.

It’s way too early for Benoit to go up so Jericho cuts him off without much trouble. A running ladder shot to the face drops Benoit and Jericho puts the ladder over the top rope. Benoit reverses a whip to send Jericho into the ladder and out to the floor, only to have the dive cut off with a chair to the head (that was nasty). Jericho misses a ladder shot so Benoit chairs him down and we’ll go outside, complete with the ladder.

They go into the corner, where Jericho kind of Russian legsweeps him from the middle rope and down with the ladder for another crash. Benoit is up first and puts the ladder on the top, with Jericho sending him face first. That’s not enough as it’s a slingshot with the ladder to send it into Benoit’s face again. Jericho starts going up but Benoit suplexes him over the top and out to the floor for another nasty landing.

Now it’s Benoit going up, but Jericho is back in and grabs the Walls on top of the ladder in one of the most creatively awesome spots I’ve ever seen. Somehow that’s not enough as Benoit crashes down but pops up to shove the ladder down again. The Crossface makes Jericho tap, so Benoit goes up.

The Swan Dive from the top of the ladder misses though, allowing Jericho to put the ladder on top of him. Benoit powers out of that as well and Jericho crashes out to the floor again. Another climb is cut off by some Jericho chair shots and another shove sends Benoit crashing out to the floor. Jericho finally pulls down the title at 18:45.

Rating: A. There are different ways to resent a ladder match and this one was designed around two guys beating the living daylights out of each other. That worked to a charm, as this was one of the most violent matches you will see without going totally over the top. It’s still an incredible match with two guys hurting each other for a long time with some nasty looking crashes and spots. Awesome match and well worth what should be another look.

Drew Carey meets Trish Stratus and hits on her a bit but Vince McMahon comes in. More pay per view plugging ensues until Vince puts him in the Royal Rumble. Carey is in.

Billy Gunn tries to talk Chyna (with her bad neck) out of a match but Chyna is having none of it.

Chris Jericho says he proved Chris Benoit wrong.

We recap the Women’s Title match, as Ivory (of Right To Censor) is not happy with Chyna, who is out for revenge after Right To Censor attacked her. Chyna has a bad neck coming in but just wants to wreck Ivory anyway.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

Chyna is challenging and jumps her to start, with Ivory being thrown down by the hair. The forearms in the corner have Ivory down and a heck of a right hand knocks her off the top. The beating goes into the crowd before Chyna takes her back inside. Hold on though as Chyna has to beat up Steven Richards as well before hitting a handspring elbow….and down she goes. Ivory crawls over and gets the pin at 3:32.

Rating: C. This was more an extended angle than a match as the whole point was Chyna getting hurt again. Ivory didn’t get in a single shot, save for maybe some ineffective punches, and then they did the angle to end it. There is only so much you can do with Chyna in the women’s division and that was on display here, as Chyna was a wrecking ball against the champion.

Post match Chyna is stretchered out.

Stephanie McMahon runs into Trish Stratus in the hair and makeup room and things get catty over their relationships.

Drew Carey is given some gear and runs into Kane. He’s not impressed.

Low Down (egads) is told their Royal Rumble spot is being given to Drew Carey.

Fans at WWF New York give their picks for HHH vs. Kurt Angle.

We recap HHH challenging Kurt Angle for the WWF Title. HHH wants the title but there is still the whole Kurt Loves Stephanie deal, though that peaked a few months back. Since Kurt can’t have a McMahon with him, he’s settling for Trish Stratus, which has Stephanie furious (Trish having an affair with Vince McMahon doesn’t help).

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Angle, with Trish Stratus (equaled out by Stephanie McMahon), is defending. HHH cranks on the arm to start before hitting a running shoulder. Back up and Angle hiptosses him down so we need a breather on the floor. That doesn’t last long as HHH is back in with some rather hard right hands. Angle goes to the arm as well and cranks away as this is starting a big more slowly than I would have expected.

Some suplexes have HHH in more trouble but they go back outside for some whips into the barricade (that’s more like it). Back in and HHH drop toeholds him down, setting up the Indian deathlock. With that broken up, Angle enziguris his way to freedom as Lawler talks about Andy Kaufman. HHH kicks away at the leg in the corner and wraps it around the post, with a Stephanie distraction allowing HHH to get in a chair shot.

Back in and some chop blocks have Angle in even more trouble, setting up the full on Indian Deathlock. With that broken up, HHH switches to the Figure Four to stay on the knee. Trish tries to interfere so the catfight with Stephanie is on. They go over the announcers’ table and can’t be separated, even by Vince McMahon. Vince finally picks Trish up and carries her off but Stephanie breaks that up as well.

With the three of them gone, HHH goes back to the bad knee as the match remembers it is happening. Angle kicks HHH away and into the post, setting up a DDT for two. A German suplex gives Angle two more so he heads up, only to get kind of Razor’s Edged down for three straight near falls. Back up and Angle runs him over, setting up the moonsault (which connects) for two.

The referee gets bumped so they go outside, with Angle being sent into the post. Back in and HHH goes up for some reason, allowing Angle to run the ropes for a super armdrag. There’s no referee so the fight heads back outside, this time with HHH sending Angle into the referee into the steps. Back in and Angle counters a belt shot into a belly to belly but HHH grabs the Pedigree. Cue Steve Austin (HHH recently cost him the title) to jump HHH though, including a belt shot to the face and the Stunner to give Angle the retaining pin at 24:21.

Rating: B-. It’s a good brawl and they worked well together but my goodness there was a lot going on here, with the match needing to be about five minutes shorter. Austin costing HHH the title doesn’t so much hurt Angle, who already feels like he is playing with the house’s money, but rather keeps the title on someone who is showing he can hang at this level. Good stuff here, but cut it down a few minutes and it’s a better match.

The Rock talks about how this is the biggest Royal Rumble of all time and says it doesn’t matter if the Undertaker and Kane are together. After referencing nipple tickling, Rock says it could come down to himself and Bull Buchanan, Perry Saturn, or even….Steve Austin. Either way, he’s going to Wrestlemania. Why his music plays after a promo isn’t clear.

Video on the Royal Ruble, with a look at most of the people involved.

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals and it’s Jeff Hardy in at #1 and Bull Buchanan in at #2. Buchanan starts fast and slugs away but can’t press slam Jeff out. Instead Jeff puts him on top but can’t get him out either, putting them at about even so far. Choking on the ropes ensues until Matt Hardy is in at #3, because tag teams have a tendency to start the Rumble together. A double clothesline quickly gets rid of Buchanan so the Hardys bump fists and then go with some grappling. Matt can’t get rid of Jeff but Jeff can’t get rid of Matt until Faarooq is in at #4.

The Hardys are dropped with a double clothesline and Jeff is sent to the apron, where he cuts off the Dominator to Matt. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton is enough to get rid of Faarooq and it’s time for the Hardys to fight again. Naturally this means the shirts come off (yes, the women in the audience approve) before they can slug it out. Jeff nails a Whisper in the Wind and it’s Drew Carey in at #5.

The Hardys keep fighting and go to the corner, while Carey slowly gets inside. Matt and Jeff eliminate each other, leaving commentary to realize that Carey is currently the last man standing. Then Kane is in at #6 (JR: “Oh my God oh my God oh my God.”) and Carey immediately starts asking for the Hardys to get back in. Kane slowly walks around the ring to kill some time, allowing Carey time to offer him some money. That doesn’t work either as Kane grabs him by the throat, only to have Raven come in at #7 for the save, allowing Carey to wisely eliminate himself.

Raven gets knocked outside (not eliminated) where he manages a fire extinguisher shot to Kane. Cue Al Snow in at #8 (coming in before the clock even starts) to jump Raven, but then the clock counts down for him anyway. A bunch of weapons are thrown in, including Snow’s trusty bowling ball. Said ball is rolled between Raven’s legs before he and Snow start trash canning Kane. The drop toehold into the trashcan puts Kane down and it’s Perry Saturn in at #9.

Saturn gets….well not that smart actually by going after Kane’s knee. Kane gorilla presses Saturn but onto the mat for no logical reason. Everyone combines to go after Kane and finally get him down, which still doesn’t seem that bright. Steve Blackman is in at #10, giving us a group of Kane, Raven, Snow, Saturn and Blackman. With everyone else brawling, Blackman brings out his sticks to beat up everyone but Kane as the lack of brightness continues. Grandmaster Sexay is in at #11 but Kane has had this and quickly clears the ring.

Honky Tonk Man of all people is in at #12 and tells Kane to give him a minute. We start the song, until Kane grabs the guitar and smashes it over Honky Tonk Man’s head. That’s enough for the easy elimination and Kane is left alone….but the Rock is in at #13 to make things a lot more interesting. Rock hammers away and hits the running clothesline but Kane hits him in the face. Rock’s right hands are cut off by a big boot and Goodfather is in at #14.

That lasts all of three seconds before Rock punches Goodfather out, leaving Kane to hit a suplex. The side slam plants Rock and Tazz is in at #15, only to be tossed out in less than ten seconds. Rock gets in a Samoan drop and it’s Bradshaw in at #16. Bradshaw gets to hammer on both of them until Kane hits a double clothesline. Albert is in at #17, sending Lawler into a need for updates on Trish Stratus and Stephanie McMahon. Even Lawler can tell that JR is ignoring him as JBL saves Rock from Albert for no logical reason.

Hardcore Holly is in at #18 as Albert chokebombs Bradshaw. Holly and Bradshaw team up but can’t get rid of the Rock (the fans were interested though), leaving Alberto to drop Kane with a single boot to the face. K-Kwik (R-Truth) is in at #19 and my goodness it’s weird to hear him called a rookie. Albert still can’t get rid of Albert as Val Venis is in at #20. That gives us Kane, Rock, Bradshaw, Albert, Holly, Kwik and Venis, with Kane spinebustering Venis out of the corner. Brawling on the ropes ensues until William Regal is in at #21.

Venis can’t get rid of the Rock, but the tease of an elimination again brings quite the strong reaction. Test is in at #22 and gets rid of Regal without much trouble (and would take the European Title from him the next night on Raw) before going after Albert. With more brawling against the ropes not doing much, Big Show makes a surprise return at #23 and cleans house, getting rid of Test and Kwik before chokeslamming everyone but Rock.

Instead Rock kicks him low, hits some right hands, and clotheslines Show out. Show looked awesome there for about a minute and a half but then he was out. Hold on though as Show clears off the announcers’ table and pulls Rock to the floor for a chokeslam through said table. Crash Holly is in at #24 as a bunch of people can’t get rid of Kane. Undertaker is in at #25 and he quickly saves Kane from the big mob.

Everyone but Kane and Undertaker (and Rock on the floor) are quickly eliminated, leaving the monsters to stare at each other as JR is BEGGING them to fight each other. JR: “It started with brother vs. brother with the Hardys”. No JR, it didn’t. They stare at each other until Scotty 2 Hotty is in at #26 and, after waiting to get in, is quickly eliminated. Steve Austin is in at #27….or he would be as HHH jumps him from behind to even things up from earlier.

Rock gets back in to go after Kane but gets jumped by Undertaker. The bloody Austin is left laying in the aisle as Billy Gunn is in at #28 and goes after Undertaker and Kane to save Rock. Undertaker plants Rock as HHH finally leaves and it’s Haku (the reigning WCW Hardcore Champion but without a WCW contract) in at #29. Undertaker and Kane can only do so much with him as JR and Lawler get into a shouting match over whether Austin deserved to get jumped or not.

Rikishi is in at #30, giving us a final group of Kane, Rock, Undertaker, Austin (on the floor), Gunn, Haku and Rikishi, which is quite the up and down levels of main event talent. Austin manages to get up and starts wrecking people, including stomping Gunn down in the corner. Austin gets rid of Haku and Undertaker sends Rock to the apron. Rock saves himself, leaving Undertaker to hurt his own head while headbutting Rikishi.

A superkick actually puts Undertaker out but Rikishi takes too long loading up the Banzai Drop, allowing Rock to eliminate him (as you can hear Undertaker leaving on the motorcycle). We’re down to Austin, Kane, Gunn and Rock, with Gunn hitting a Fameasser on Austin. Then Gunn is tossed and we’re down to three. Kane gets knocked down (not eliminated) and that leaves Austin vs. Rock, which has the fans WAY into things again. The Rock Bottom is blocked but Austin hits a Stunner and Thesz presses Kane.

Rock is back up and sends Kane through the ropes to the floor (not eliminated), meaning it’s another slugout with Austin. They go for the eliminations but Kane is back in to toss Rock. That leaves us with Austin vs. Kane, with a chokeslam putting Austin down. Austin manages a low blow and a chair is brought in, which can’t go well. The Stunner drops Kane and three straight chair shots into a clothesline are enough to give Austin the win at 1:01:57.

Rating: A-. There was a bit of a lull in the middle but Rock and Austin and Kane and others were all enough to make this work. What matters is keeping the fans interested and they had the Carey stuff, then the hardcore stuff, then the serious stuff got going with the Rock coming in to fight Kane. All of that was good, but it really cranked up when Austin came in. It’s not the best Rumble ever, but it’s pretty great with nothing close to bad.

Overall Rating: A. Yeah this is an all timer, with the only thing close to bad being a three and a half minute angle disguised as a match. Other than that you have good World and Tag Team Title matches, plus the amazing ladder match and a pretty incredible Royal Rumble. It’s a show that more than holds up and there is pretty much nothing on here worth really complaining about. Check this one out if you haven’t in a bit, as it’s still great.

 

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

Original: B-
2013 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B-
2024 Redo: B-

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

Original: A
2013 Redo: A+
2018 Redo: A
2024 Redo: A

Ivory vs. Chyna

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D-
2024 Redo: C

Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B
2024 Redo: B-

Royal Rumble

Original: B
2013 Redo: B+
2018 Redo: A-
2024 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2018 Redo: A
2024 Redo: A

Yep, we’re done with this one as it’s about as definitive as it can get.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2000
Date: January 23, 2000
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,231
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

This is the first of the two redos of the year and you picked a good one. What we have here is one of the better one two punches in WWF history, as it’s a double main event. Of course there is the Rumble, but we also have Cactus Jack vs. HHH for the WWF Title in a street fight, which should work out fairly well. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at some of Cactus Jack’s most violent moments over the years, with HHH still thinking he knows what he is getting into. Some of the Japanese deathmatch stuff here is rather insane looking and wasn’t something you would see on WWF (or American) TV at the time (or in modern times either really).

The set is really cool, as it has the entrance opposite the hard camera. There is a taxi hanging over the aisle, which is painted like a street for the street fight. Remember when they put in actual effort for those things?

Kurt Angle vs. ???

Angle has only been around for about a month and a half so he still has his ridiculously over the top confidence. He’s also still a bonehead, so this could get ugly in a hurry. Angle mocks the New York Knicks for not being able to win a title and offer to be New York’s Champion tonight. As for his special opponent tonight, Angle knows he must be worried so come out here and give it your all.

Kurt Angle vs. Tazz

This is Tazz’s debut, though the WE WANT TAZZ chants during Angle’s speech might have given something away. Tazz slugs away at the bell and sends Angle over the top to take the fight to the floor. There’s the ECW chant, which must be over Angle’s one night ECW appearance. Angle gets in a suplex in the aisle and takes him back inside for a running shoulder.

There’s an overhead belly to belly from Angle but Tazz crotches him on top. The super Tazzplex gets two as Angle gets a foot on the rope. A bridging German suplex gives Angle two but the Angle Slam is countered into an overhead German suplex. More suplexes set up the Tazmission and Angle is out at 3:15.

Rating: C+. This is one of the more memorable debuts and opening matches in company history, as Tazz made an immediate impact and handed Angle his first defeat. I didn’t know anything about ECW but a buddy of mine who watched it had hyped up Tazz for months. This made the whole thing worth it, as Tazz looked like a killer and massacred Angle without much trouble. Of note: Angle was still new at this kind of wrestling and asked what he should do if Tazz, with his shooter gimmick, tried to test Angle on the mat. Some WWF official replied with a simple: “You’re a gold medalist. I don’t think that will be a problem.”

Post match Angle is out and has to do a stretcher job. Just in case Tazz wasn’t impressive enough.

The Hardys, with manager Terri Runnels (that didn’t last long), are ready to fight these newcomers the Dudleys in something called a tag team tables match. They aren’t letting Terri out there with them though as it’s going to be dangerous.

Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Tables match, with both members having to go through a table to win. Before the match, Bubba Ray, still stuttering, can’t believe New Yorkers cheer for those pretty boy Hardys but they boo his new hero, JOHN ROCKER (who gave a SCATHING interview about New York around this time). It’s a brawl in the aisle to start with the Dudleys getting the better of things and grabbing the first table.

That takes a bit too long though, allowing Jeff to break it up and hit a big dive over the top onto Bubba. Matt and D-Von try to put the other through a table inside as Jeff CRACKS Bubba in the head with at able. Jeff gets a running start on the barricade but Bubba throws a table at his head for a great looking crash. Back in and the Hardys load up a double superplex through a table but D-Von moves the table just in time.

With that not working, let’s bring in a ladder, because that couldn’t go badly. A running shot with the ladder sends Bubba outside (though the ladder hits the ground first), followed by another hard chair shot to his head. Bubba is laid on a table so the Hardys can dive (Jeff off the top, Matt off a ladder) for the first….uh, table breaking. There’s a chair to D-Von’s head and the Hardys set up the steps to bridge a table off the apron. Matt’s top rope legdrop only hits table though and Jeff’s dive goes through another table, leaving the Hardys laying.

Neither count as those weren’t offensive moves so let’s throw some steps inside. A table is bridged over said steps and a superbomb sends Matt through it, evening us up at one table each. Everyone heads outside again and the Dudleys set up four tables underneath a balcony opposite the entrance.

Matt is piled on top but Jeff is back with chair shots to break it up. Bubba is fine enough to take Jeff into the crowd and onto the balcony, where Jeff BLASTS HIM with some chair shots, sending him through the tables in the big crash. Matt puts D-Von on another table and the big Swanton through D-Von gives the Hardys the win at 10:17.

Rating: B. This was the kind of hard hitting fight that you would expect from these two as they beat the living daylights out of each other. They were trying to get noticed and it worked very well, with this being not only violent but memorably violent, with that chair to Jeff’s head and the finish being great.

Kurt Angle gets checked out by medics and despite barely being able to stand, he insists he’s still undefeated because a choke is illegal.

And now, the Miss Royal Rumble Swimsuit contest. Our judges are Sgt. Slaughter, Tony Garea, Fabulous Moolah, Johnny V (he’s lost his Luscious) and Freddie Blassie, with Jerry Lawler as Master of Ceremonies. Here are the contestants: Ivory, Terri, Jacqueline, BB (she wasn’t around long), Luna Vachon and the Kat (Women’s Champion, and the reason this is happening, due to showing quite a bit at Armageddon). Hang on though as Andy Richter, from Late Night With Conan O’Brien, is a bonus guest judge.

Ivory reluctantly disrobes, followed by the rest of them willingly doing so (save for Luna, whose robe doesn’t exactly cover her in the first place). The Kat is about to win (as hers is made of bubble wrap) but here is Mae Young to enter as well, including taking off her top (with various censoring included). Mark Henry comes out for the save. The older judges give it to Young and Lawler loses his mind. This was the advertised nudity on the show, as the WWF gets to mess with its fans a bit, never to do this again.

We go to WWF New York (The “site based entertainment complex, because they made things sound boring back then too.) where the Coach (he’s new) thinks the fans are excited.

Chris Jericho and Chyna, the co-Intercontinental Champions, argue over who gets to wear the belt to the ring. Earl Hebner comes in to take the belt away, saying we can settle this out there. Jericho: “Earl come on. Dave?”

Don’t try this at home.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chyna vs. Hardcore Holly

Only Holly is challenging in a weird situation. Jericho is of course way over in New York and promises that his Jericholics will throw a victory party that will make the Millennium Bash look like his sister’s seventh birthday party. Holly shoves Chyna down to start and hammers on Jericho, earning him alternating slaps from the champs. Chyna gets whipped over the corner and out to the floor as Lawler talks about the horrors he just saw. Ross: “You’ve seen scary movies, like Man On The Moon?”

With Chyna on the floor, Jericho tries for the Walls on Holly but Chyna comes in for the save (which is not well received). Holly get sent outside for a change, with Chyna hitting a baseball slide. Jericho adds a big dive to the floor but mostly crashes, allowing Chyna to hit her DDT back inside.

Holly throws her outside again but she low bridges Jericho outside as well (maybe not on purpose). With nothing else working, Holly grabs a chair, sending JR into a panic. Chyna dropkicks it into his face anyway, setting up a double cover for two on Holly back inside. A low blow sends Jericho outside, leaving Chyna to Pedigree Holly for two.

Holly loads Chyna up in an electric chair, allowing Jericho to hit a Doomsday crossbody for two, with the kickout feeling a bit like a surprise. Chyna breaks up a superplex attempt on Holly and then does it herself, only to get small packaged for two. Jericho comes back in, allowing Chyna to chair Holly down. Since stealing moves is a thing, Chyna tries the Walls on Holly but gets caught with the bulldog. The Lionsault finishes Chyna to give Jericho the undisputed title at 7:31.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t exactly great and Holly didn’t exactly feel like a threat to win the title. Thankfully they didn’t bother trying to do anything crazy like keeping up the double champions thing. Jericho was a bigger star and there was no reason to leave him there with Chyna when there were other, better stars for him to face. The match itself was a little clunky and felt like it was ready to wrap up about two minutes earlier, which is never a good thing.

The Rock thinks he can win the Royal Rumble, but he’ll have to find a way around Crash Holly and Headbanger Mosh. Of course he isn’t worried about Big Show and Michael Cole can have a tall glass of Shut Up Juice (that never got over). Rock is going to prove he is the great one and go to Wrestlemania, if you catchphrase.

We recap the New Age Outlaws vs. the Acolytes. The Outlaws are the loudmouthed champions and the Acolytes are ready to destroy them (again).

Tag Team Titles: Acolytes vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are defending and get in their signature entrance. The Acolytes start fast and hammer away until we settle down to Faarooq powerslamming Dogg. Gunn breaks up the Dominator, allowing Dogg to hit the shaky punches. Bradshaw isn’t having the shaky knee drop though (Dogg liked to shake) so Gunn comes in and misses a Stinger Splash.

The Clothesline From Bradshaw gets no cover so Faarooq comes back in for the spinebuster. Gunn pulls the referee out though and here is X-Pac to kick Bradshaw in the face. Faarooq takes care of him but Gunn hits the Fameasser on Bradshaw to retain at 2:30. I’ve always thought that was rushed as these guys could go seven or eight minutes without much trouble.

We recap Cactus Jack vs. HHH for the WWF Title. HHH cheated to get the title back from Big Show earlier this month but now it is time to defend against the person he took it from in the first place. Mankind had been complaining about the McMahon-Helmsley Era so he was beaten down and fired. The Rock hinted at a mass walk out and got the firing overturned, but it was time for Mankind to face HHH in a street fight at the Royal Rumble. Another beatdown showed Mankind that he wasn’t ready for that….but he knew someone who was.

That meant the return of Cactus Jack, which was more or less the same way Jack debuted in the WWF back in 1997. It was even setting up a Falls Count Anywhere match on the September 4 Monday night Raw in Madison Square Garden, where Jack beat HHH in a classic. HHH knows what he is in for here and the odds are entirely in Jack’s favor. It’s his match against a man he has beaten before in his own backyard. HHH is in trouble and he knows it, so it’s time to fight.

WWF Title: HHH vs. Cactus Jack

HHH is defending and this is a street fight. As usual, I can’t believe how good My Time was as a theme song. Even the ever confident Stephanie McMahon kisses HHH goodbye and bails because this is going to be violent. The slugout gets things going with HHH hammering in the corner and then realizing that’s not the best idea. Cactus (or Mankind according to JR) shows him how it’s done and they head outside for a swinging neckbreaker on the floor.

Back up and HHH manages a bell shot to the face, which just seems to wake Jack up. HHH brings a chair inside and tells Jack to bring it…which Jack does, charging straight into a chair to the head. Jack is right back up with a clothesline, because it was just one chair shot. The chair is placed over HHH’s face and a middle rope leg gives Jack two. They go back to the floor with HHH sending him into the barricade, only to get backdropped over said barricade.

Naturally Jack is fine with taking the fight out there (past a guy in a chef’s outfit) until they wind up in the aisle under the taxi. Jack loads up some wooden pallets, with a suplex dropping HHH onto them. There’s a good trashcan shot to HHH’s head and some whips send him into the metal doors. They’re doing a great job of having HHH get beaten up because the stuff in the streets is so far out of his element.

HHH manages a suplex onto a trashcan (because he can get out of trouble with wrestling) but Jack sends him into the steps. The running knee drives HHH’s head into the steps…and let’s get a barbed wire 2×4. HHH manages to take it away and hits Jack in the ribs and back a few times, with the wire starting to come off the top. Jack comes back with a low blow and a belly to back suplex as the referee hands the 2×4 to the Spanish commentator.

Back in and Jack’s suplex gets a VERY delayed two so he heads outside to get the 2×4 again. Ignore that it isn’t where the commentator put it and clearly not the same one as the wire on this one is tightly wrapped again, but it’s the best way to swap out the real one for the fake one. The referee gets bumped and there’s the 2×4 to HHH’s face to bust him open. Another shot to the face gets a delayed two and HHH’s calf is busted as well.

There’s a third head shot, followed by a famous shot of Jack ripping the wire over HHH’s face. They head over to the announcers’ table (HHH’s face is COVERED in blood) where HHH reverses a piledriver into a backdrop to send Jack somewhat through the table. Back in and the Pedigree is countered into a catapult into the post and a faceplant into the barbed wire gives Jack two more. There’s the Cactus Clothesline but HHH is able to hiptoss him legs first into the steps. HHH sends him knees first into the steps again, just in case the first one didn’t take.

Back in and another chop block takes Jack down again and let’s pick up the barbed wire to crack the knee. With nothing else working, HHH pulls out some handcuffs but Jack manages to wrap them around his hand to hit HHH in the head. HHH goes right back to the knee though and Jack’s hands are cuffed behind him, just like last year against the Rock. The steps are brought in but Jack drop toeholds HHH face first into them.

A low blow lets Jack bite his face, but HHH is right back with another shot to the face. Back up and HHH chairs him so hard that the chair breaks and they go up the aisle. There’s a chair shot to the head but Jack tells him to do it again. Cue the Rock with a heck of a chair shot of his own to HHH though and a cop unhooks Jack to even things up (because wrestling is weird about equal levels of punishment).

They head back to ringside, where a piledriver onto (not through) the table, as in how Jack beat HHH in 1997, knocks HHH silly. Jack sends him back inside and let’s have some thumbtacks. Stephanie comes back to try and stop it but HHH is fine enough to hit a backdrop onto the tacks for the nasty looking crash. The Pedigree connects….for two, and the collective gasp at the kickout is still great. Another Pedigree onto the tacks FINALLY puts Jack away to retain the title at 26:50.

Rating: A+. If the scale went higher than this, it would do so here, because this is one of the best matches of all time. These two massacred each other, with HHH surviving instead of winning. This was brutal, violent, and a rollercoaster of emotions, as there were times where you could believe Jack could pull off the impossible.

What made this work was they laid in the violence from the bell and it felt like they hated each other. This was HHH’s official graduation to the next level, as he now had his own instant classic that showed he really could fight at this level instead of just escaping. At the very least, he can now beat Jack in this situation, which he couldn’t do two and a half years earlier. Incredible match that absolutely holds up and it is worth about five viewings. I can’t recommend this one enough as it really is an all time masterpiece.

Post match HHH is taken out on a stretcher so Jack beats him up again, including another barbed wire shot, because we need to do this again (indeed we do).

Commentary raves about the match and for once, it is completely deserved.

Back at WWF New York, Linda McMahon promises to deal with HHH the McMahon Way. She could always let him date and then marry Stephanie for real.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and the Fink makes it very clear that BOTH FEET must touch, which sends us into a clip of Shawn Michaels’ miracle finish in 1995. D’Lo Brown is in at #1 and Grandmaster Sexay is in at #2, which anyone knows if they have played No Mercy. Brown hammers away and hits the leg lariat before nearly dropping Grandmaster on his head in a Liger Bomb attempt. Instead Grandmaster escapes with a hurricanrana as commentary talks about the street fight.

Mosh is in at #3 (complete with green cones sticking off of his chest for his costume of choice) to go after Brown but cue Kaientai to invade over not being entered. The two of them are beaten down in a hurry so Brown suplexes Grandmaster. Christian (with the AWESOME Blood Brother solo theme) is in at #4 with the reverse layout DDT to Mosh. The four pair off, with Christian charging into Grandmaster’s superkick.

It’s Rikishi in at #5 and there is a good chance he’ll get rid of someone. There goes Mosh and Christian follows him rather quickly but Brown hits a running neckbreaker on Rikishi. That keeps Rikishi down for all of two seconds and the always awesome Rikishi Driver knocks Brown silly. Brown is out, leaving Rikishi and Grandmaster, the latter of whom backs out in a wise bit of fear.

Scotty 2 Hotty is in at #6 though….and the sunglasses come out. The big dance sequence is on, with the crowd seeming to eat it up. Scotty busts out the Worm but Rikishi knocks them both out. Everything is cool because it’s all about the title, so Rikishi dances some more on his own. That’s an all time sequence and one of the most memorable Royal Rumble moments.

Steve Blackman is in at #7 and gets in a few shots on Rikishi before being tossed out in less than a minute. Viscera is in at #8 to pound on Rikishi and hit a belly to belly suplex. A running splash in the corner crushed Rikishi but he avoids a second, setting up a bunch of superkicks to get rid of Viscera. Big Boss Man is in at #9 and takes his sweet time getting in, because he actually pays attention. He stays on the floor until Test is in at #10 and jumps Boss Man on the outside. They all get in, where Boss Man low blows Test as he chokes Rikishi in the corner.

British Bulldog is in at #11 and they pair off again, with Test kicking Boss Man in the face. Bulldog low blows Rikishi to break up the Banzai Drop but can’t toss him out. Instead it’s Gangrel in at #12 but here is Kaientai again, earning themselves another fast ejection (including Taka Michinoku being flipped forward, sending his face into the floor). That takes up so much time that it’s Edge in at #13 to go after Gangrel. The Banzai Drop crushes Boss Man as Lawler wants to see Taka (“That Chinese guy.”) get tossed out again.

Bob Backlund is in at #14 to a huge reaction but gets caught in the wrong corner. He’s fine enough to avoid Rikishi’s charge though and everyone gets together to toss Rikishi. Bulldog headbutts Backlund a few times and it’s Chris Jericho in at #15 to toss Backlund. That’s fine with Bob, who goes into the crowd to continue campaigning for Congress (seriously, he was a different kind of guy). Crash Holly is in at #16 and everyone pairs off again as things slow way down.

Chyna is in at #17 and goes after Jericho, who sends her to the apron. That’s fine with Chyna, who manages to toss him out, only to be eliminated by Boss Man. Faarooq is in at #18 but here is the Mean Street Posse right behind him. The distraction/beatdown lets Boss Man toss him as well as they aren’t letting the ring get overly full. Road Dogg is in at #19 and goes after Test, who hits him low to cut that off in a hurry. Somehow Crash stomps Boss Man in the corner as Al Snow is in at #20, giving us Boss Man, Test, Bulldog, Gangrel, Edge, Crash, Dogg and Snow.

Road Dogg tosses Bulldog, allowing Lawler to make doggy style jokes. Val Venis is in at #21 but we need to pause for Funaki to run in again, earning a third toss to the floor. Prince Albert is in at #22 as Edge is tossed out. Lawler talks about Albert and Mae Young having/potentially having various piercings to fill in time as everyone is weakly fighting near the ropes. Hardcore Holly is in at #23 and a grand total of nothing is happening. This match really needs someone to come in and clean house….and the Rock is in at #24.

Boss Man is out but a bunch of people hammer Rock in the corner to slow him right back down. Billy Gunn is in at #25 and he gets to beat Rock down as well. Rock breaks that up and tosses Crash as Road Dogg is still holding onto the bottom rope, as he has done multiple times tonight. Big Show, who has not been happy with Rock as of late, is in at #26 and NOW we should be going somewhere. Rock is on him before he even gets his other leg over the top but Show knocks him away without much trouble. Test and Gangrel are out in a hurry and a gorilla press drops Holly (on the mat, with Lawler not getting the logic).

Bradshaw is in at #27 but the Mean Street Posse comes in again, allowing the Outlaws to dump Bradshaw out. Faarooq comes back out to beat up the Posse in the aisle and things slow down again. Kane is in at #28 and this has to be the real house cleaning right? Venis is tossed but Rock cuts Kane off to slow things right back down. The Godfather, with ladies, is in at #29 as Kane tosses Albert.

Funaki comes in again and Snow tosses him out even faster this time (yeah it was repetitive but this was a hilarious gag). Godfather finally gets in and it’s X-Pac completing the field, giving us a final group of Road Dogg, Al Snow, Holly, Rock, Gunn, Show, Kane, Godfather and X-Pac. Holly is out in a hurry and Show gets rid of Godfather. Rock tosses Snow and Gunn dumps Dogg, only to get tossed by Kane.

We’re down to Rock, Kane, Show and X-Pac, with Rock tossing X-Pac as Kane fight with the Outlaws in the aisle. X-Pac comes back in because no one saw him go out and it’s Kane kicking Rock in the face. Kane and Show fight over a chokeslam until Kane hits an enziguri of all things. A slam puts Show down but X-Pac kicks Kane out.

The Bronco Buster hits Show, who tosses X-Pac out for his efforts. That leaves Rock vs. Show so let’s get right to the spinebuster and People’s Elbow. Rock can’t get him out though and Show is back with a chokeslam. Show takes his sweet time loading Rock up for the elimination though and Rock slips off his shoulder for the elimination and the win at 51:49.

Rating: B+. This is a match that was this close to being an all timer and it just doesn’t quite make it. The opening is good, with the Too Cool sequence being one of the most memorable Rumble moments ever, but then it goes into a pretty deep freeze until Rock comes in. You could tell that there weren’t a lot of big names in the middle to make it work but the great parts are awesome, with Kaientai being in there to make it better. It’s a very good Rumble, though not quite a classic.

Post match Rock says he’s going to Wrestlemania but Show comes back in and tosses him out. Rock yells a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. The two main events eat up over half of the show and they are both classics, with the tables match being a great showcase as well. The only things close to bad on here is a totally watchable seven and a half minute Intercontinental Title match and a less than three minute tag match. Throw in Tazz’s awesome debut against Angle and the atmosphere of the whole thing and this is an incredible show which is well worth your time.

Ratings Comparison

Tazz vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A-
2012 Redo: C+
2022 Redo: C+

Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: A
2012 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

Chris Jericho vs. Chyna vs. Hardcore Holly

Original: C
2012 Redo: C+
2022 Redo: C-

New Age Outlaws vs. Acolytes

Original: N/A
2012 Redo: N/A
2022 Redo: N/A

HHH vs. Cactus Jack

Original: A+
2012 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A+

Royal Rumble

Original: A-
2012 Redo: A
2022 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: A
2012 Redo: A
2022 Redo: A

Those two matches carry everything here and that makes for a classic.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Survivor Series 2015
Date: November 22, 2015
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 14,481
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Oh and before we get going: ISIS was allegedly targeting this show for a terrorist attack. Nothing would come of the rumors but it got quite a bit of attention.

Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem as a big middle finger to the terrorism charges. I actually liked this and she can sing the heck out of that song.

WWE World Title Tournament Semifinals: Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio

Ambrose praises Reigns for his win and Roman is happy to fight Dean for the title. That was pretty much the only possible ending to the tournament and everyone knew it when the brackets were revealed. Kevin Owens comes in after Ambrose leaves and thinks Reigns will screw up at the finish line all over again because Kevin himself will stop him.

WWE World Title Tournament Semifinals: Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

Rating: B. I liked the energy here as it felt like a back and forth match with Owens not being able to keep Dean down and Dean just trying to sneak in anything he could at any time. It also helps that you could see Owens getting the win instead of waiting around until he got speared. That can do wonders and it made for a better match here.

TLC 2015 ad. I still love that video game theme.

Team Ryback vs. Team Sheamus

Ryback, Usos, Lucha Dragons

Sheamus, King Barrett, New Day

Divas Title: Paige vs. Charlotte

Tyler Breeze vs. Dolph Ziggler

Back in and Breeze slowly hammers away before grabbing a weak half crab. Ziggler dropkicks him out of the air and hits some running clotheslines into the neckbreaker. To be fair, he does touch his knee before doing the big jumping elbow for two. We hit the pinfall reversal sequence before Tyler kicks him in the knee and hits an Unprettier for the pin at 6:31.

Undertaker/Kane vs. Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose

WWE World Title: Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns

Brogue Kick gets two, second Brogue Kick makes Sheamus champion at 34 seconds. Where did Dean go while this was happening?

Ratings Comparison

Original: C

Redo: D+

Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-

Redo: B

Team Ryback vs. Team Sheamus

Original: C

Redo: D+

Paige vs. Charlotte

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Dolph Ziggler vs. Tyler Breeze

Original: C-

Redo: D

Brothers of Destruction vs. Wyatt Family

Original: D+

Redo: D

Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: D

Redo: D+

Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

I was WAY too kind to this one the first time around. The last hour and a half is dreadful.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/22/survivor-series-2015-rise-and-fall/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Survivor Series 2003
Date: November 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is another big one and it’s also a one sided show. The Smackdown offerings are about as uninteresting as they could be while the Raw side looks at at least marginally better. This isn’t a great show on paper and I have a bad feeling that it’s going to be even worse as it actually takes place. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about surviving things such as the game, evolution, and the battles in between. That’s all this needed to be, especially with Austin vs. Bischoff being the real main event.

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Kurt Angle, Hardcore Holly, Chris Benoit, John Cena, Bradshaw
Brock Lesnar, Big Show, A-Train, Nathan Jones, Matt Morgan

Cena is out first and raps about burying everyone, meaning Lesnar and Show need a bigger graves. He’s still new at this team thing because he wonders if he can trade his partners in for a one night stand with Sable. Holly wastes no time and attacks Lesnar before the bell, sending him into the steps and trying a full nelson to break his neck. He also shoves a referee, and gets disqualified before the match even starts.

The bell rings and a Clothesline from Bradshaw ends A-Train in less than thirty seconds to tie it up. The chokeslam gets rid of Bradshaw as we’re not even a minute in yet. Good idea actually, as it’s not like Bradshaw and Holly were anything more than warm bodies anyway. Cena comes in but can’t FU Big Show and gets thrown into the corner as the four remaining members start working him over. A Throwback to Lesnar gets two but more importantly it allows the hot tag off to Benoit.

The chokeslam is countered into a Crossface (always looks cool) with Lesnar making a save. It’s off to an abdominal stretch as things slow down again. The standing legdrop gets two on Benoit and it’s time for some double teaming on the floor. Angle and Cena have finally had enough and go over to make a save but Benoit is beaten down even more. Morgan comes in for some lumbering offense but a suplex allows the hot tag to Angle. That means a series of suplexes as everything breaks down. The Angle Slam eliminates Morgan to tie us up at three.

Show clotheslines Jones by mistake though and an ankle lock gets rid of Nathan less than thirty seconds later. An F5 gets rid of Angle with the first count coming as Jones’ elimination is still being announced. We’re down to Benoit/Cena vs. Lesnar/Show and Brock goes shoulder first into the post.

A Crossface has Lesnar in trouble but he reverses into a cradle for two. Benoit won’t be denied though and slaps it on again, this time with Lesnar’s feet reaching the ropes. The third attempt makes Lesnar tap and we’re down to two on one. Benoit drops Show with a top rope shoulder for two so Cena adds a chain shot and the FU for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was too fast for the most part but the real problem comes from the fact that so many people were involved in the first place. This really could have been a six man elimination tag (A-Train as the third villain) and it would have been better, but that’s not how these things traditionally work. Cena and Benoit winning in the end is the right way to go as Cena’s rocket push is being assembled, but at the same time there’s a lot of work left to do. Benoit vs. Cena, which could still happen, would be a benefit for both guys and that’s a good sign for the future. Unfortunately it wasn’t the best present, but at least it wasn’t long.

Vince McMahon comes in to see Shane and talks about how tonight, father and son are facing two brothers. He thinks it’s almost spiritual and asks Shane how he feels about that. Shane only feels sorry for Vince. The boss leaves and runs into Austin, who starts laughing. Then he stops and gets serious before walking away. These two have great chemistry even if it doesn’t make the most sense.

JR explains the exchange.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Molly Holly

Lita is challenging after winning a #1 contenders match a few weeks back. Feeling out process to start as JR explains that these two have some contrasting styles. Lita gets knocked to the floor so Molly starts in on the back with some ax handles. We hit a dragon sleeper with Jerry liking her intensity. The handspring elbow in the corner keeps Lita in trouble and Molly stomps away.

A running corner clothesline rocks Molly and Lita rains down some right hands for her first real offense. Molly cuts her off with a side slam but Lawler would rather talk about Lita’s thong. A powerbomb out of the corner gives Lita a breather but the moonsault misses. The Molly Go Round gets two so Molly rips off a turnbuckle pad and sends Lita face first to retain.

Rating: D+. This was mainly Molly doing everything while Lita did a thing or two here and there. That’s not the most thrilling style in the world but Molly can be made into a good champion for a big name to take the title from later. Let her be built up for awhile instead of giving Lita the title immediately. It’s ok to wait now and then.

We recap Kane vs. Shane McMahon. Kane went nuts after losing his mask and after struggling to defeat Rob Van Dam, started tormenting Linda McMahon. Shane became the big star out of this because of course he did, including beating himself in a Last Man Standing match. Various attempted murders later set up this ambulance match, which is possibly the second most pushed match on the show.

Shane McMahon vs. Kane

Ambulance match with Shane charging straight at him for a crossbody to the floor. Shane knocks him onto the announcers’ table and hits him in the head with a monitor, setting up the big elbow to drive Kane through. That’s enough at ringside though so they head to the back, including the camera cutting out. That means we hit the pretape and come back with Shane pounding him down with a kendo stick.

Shane puts him in a security shack and jumps into an SUV to run Kane over again. Finding a well placed walkie-talkie, Shane tells someone to SEND IT, which means it’s time for an ambulance backstage. But is that the designated ambulance? That makes a difference you know. Instead of backing the ambulance up to the shack where Kane is down, Shane grabs a stretcher and wheels it twenty feet over, allowing Kane to grab him by the throat and slam Shane into a wall.

The camera goes out again and we pick it up with Kane knocking him back into the arena. Shane gets knocked into the front of the ambulance but manages to hit Kane in the face with the back door. What a sick sounding thud too. Kane is back up and sends Shane into the ambulance but another ram with the door gets Shane out of trouble. A tornado DDT on the floor plants Kane as they’re now near the grave for the Buried Alive match.

Shane puts a trashcan (good thing one was nearby) and a crashpad (same as before) and hits the Coast to Coast off the top of the ambulance to smash Kane’s face. That’s still not enough to wrap things up as Kane pulls Shane into the ambulance with him for more brawling. It’s Kane throwing Shane out though and then ramming him back first into the side. He javelins Shane’s head into the other side (you have to match you see) and a Tombstone on the floor is enough for the win.

Rating: D. This wasn’t as long as I was expecting but again, this doesn’t really do what they were likely shooting for with Kane. It makes two straight matches where Kane has had trouble beating up Shane McMahon. He can destroy Rob Van Dam but Shane gives him trouble? It didn’t work last time and it doesn’t work here. Now that he’s lost all of his heat though, you can pencil him in for a World Title match.

Brock Lesnar says he didn’t lose that match because his team lost it instead. Goldberg comes in for a staredown but Lesnar won’t wish him luck tonight. And so it begins.

Here’s the Coach, in a neck brace, for a chat. He assures his fans that he’s fine after the 3D from the Dudleys on Monday and he’ll be good to go soon. That seems to be it but hang on a second as Coach sees Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban in the front row. Cuban is ready to see Austin’s team win and insults referees of all kinds (he’s known for heavy criticisms of NBA referees). This brings out Eric Bischoff to invite Cuban into the ring, where a fight breaks out. Bischoff gets shoved down but here’s Randy Orton for an RKO to complete this waste of time.

Evolution is having a party with HHH in the middle of a good looking bunch of women. Ric Flair comes in to say they can have the champ later, which annoys HHH. Orton comes in, hits on the women, and brags about what he just did. Uh, congratulations?

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Basham Brothers

The Brothers are defending after Eddie won a handicap match to earn the shot. Eddie and Chavo waste no time in slugging away until Shaniqua offers a distraction to slow things down. That doesn’t seem to matter much to the cousins as Eddie works over Danny to start things off. A dropkick gives Chavo two and there’s a headscissors/armdrag combination from Eddie to put both champs down.

Some double teaming (described by Cole as “classic Bashams”) takes over though and Shaniqua gets in a slam on Eddie for good measure. Back in and Eddie gets stomped in the corner, followed by a double vertical suplex for two. Eddie gets free with a headscissors and hands it back to Chavo, who is double flapjacked in short order. Chavo fights up but Twin Magic takes him down again. Everything breaks down and Chavo slams Shaniqua, followed by a quick spanking. That’s NOT cool with the champs so Doug grabs a rollup with Chavo’s tights to retain.

Rating: D+. Another TV level match here with Los Guerreros coming up short again as we get closer to their inevitable split. The Bashams aren’t a great team (though they have apparently have a classic period) but they’re serviceable for something like this. Get rid of the dominatrix stuff though as it’s not working, isn’t funny and makes Shaniqua look like the important part of the team, which misses the point entirely.

Replays show Chavo kicking Eddie down by mistake, meaning this is far from over.

JR doesn’t think Austin can handle this trusting people stuff and has never seen Austin this angry.

We recap Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff. They’re running the show together but Austin isn’t allowed to attack people at will anymore. On top of that, a lot of people are accusing him of ruining the show through his various antics. That doesn’t sit well with Austin, so it’s time for a winner take all match with the winner getting to run Raw on their own. The idea is Austin has to trust people, which goes against everything he believes in.

Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff

Austin: Shawn Michaels, Dudley Boyz, Booker T., Rob Van Dam
Bischoff: Scott Steiner, Mark Henry, Christian, Chris Jericho, Randy Orton

Coach, Stacy Keibler and the two team captains are at ringside. The fans want tables to start but have to settle with D-Von and Christian instead. D-Von shoulders him down to start but gets slapped in the face, triggering a bunch of right hands to the head. That’s not a nice response. Van Dam comes in for some forearms to the face and a kick to the jaw gets the same. It’s off to Jericho for some more luck, followed by Steiner whipping Van Dam hard into the corner to set up some posing.

Van Dam’s comeback is cut off by a belly to belly superplex but he’s able to get over to Booker for the hot tag. Things speed way up in a hurry and the scissors kick into the Spinarooni makes Bischoff face palm. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Steiner hits Booker low. The Recliner goes on but Stacy offers a distraction, setting up a reverse 3D. A Bookend is enough to get rid of Steiner and make it 5-4.

The World’s Strongest Slam gets rid of Booker a few seconds later to tie it right back up. Bubba comes in to try his luck and is sent hard into the corner. D-Von’s help doesn’t make things much better as the Dudleys are rammed together. Mark misses a charge though and it’s a 3D into the Five Star for the elimination. It’s off to Orton for a hard clothesline on Van Dam but Rob scores with a kick. Another Five Star is loaded up but Jericho makes a save, setting up the RKO to tie things up at three each. Jericho comes in and missile dropkicks D-Von down as JR and King wonder how things will go tomorrow night.

D-Von shoulders Jericho down for no count as Christian has the referee, setting up the sleeper drop for another elimination. This match is already better paced than the opener and here’s Shawn to pick things up all over again. Shawn pounds on Jericho in the corner and catches an invading Christian without much effort. Orton gets in a dropkick but stays down anyway as I guess he didn’t hit all of it. A double tag brings in Christian and Bubba with a backdrop getting two on the Canadian.

Jericho runs Christian over by mistake but a low blow sets up the Unprettier to get rid of Bubba. We’re down to Shawn vs. Christian/Jericho/Orton and Austin is starting to see how much trouble he’s in. Shawn punches away at Christian to start but some good old fashioned double teaming has Shawn in trouble again. Like there’s any other way this should go. Shawn is taken outside and catapulted into the post (you can see him blade on the wide shot) to bust open a GUSHER.

That and a suplex are only good for two back inside and Christian even steals his pose. Jerry: “That was a creepy little pose right there.” The Unprettier is broken up and a quick Sweet Chin Music gets rid of Christian. A frustrated Jericho comes in and gets two off a clothesline before handing it back to Orton. Shawn gets in a belly to back suplex but Jericho comes back in to take over again. As usual, JR is perfect at calling this kind of a story and Shawn getting two off a DDT has Jerry trying as hard as he can to believe in Shawn.

The Lionsault hits knees and Shawn pulls himself up but gets pulled into a Walls attempt. That’s reversed into a quick small package to get rid of Jericho and make it one on one (Lawler: “I BELIEVE I BELIEVE!”). Jericho isn’t gone yet though and caves Shawn’s head in with a chair shot. Why that isn’t a DQ on Orton isn’t clear but Shawn is done as Orton comes back in.

That’s only good for two and you can see the sigh of relief from Austin. Orton’s high crossbody hits the referee and here’s Bischoff to break up Sweet Chin Music. That’s too much for Austin so it’s a Stunner to Orton but he makes the mistake of beating on Bischoff a bit too much. They go up the aisle and here’s Batista to powerbomb Shawn, giving Orton the final pin.

Rating: B+. I love this match and always have. It doesn’t really pick up until Shawn is on his own but that’s what he’s done best throughout his entire career. He knows how to play the underdog better than anyone I’ve ever seen and you really can get behind the Lawler mindset of trying to believe here. As usual, Shawn is great in this role and it’s never too far to believe that he could pull this off (quick superkick, small package for two eliminations). Great stuff, but you might want to skip the first few minutes.

Austin is stunned at the loss because he placed his career in someone else’s hands and was let down. The bloody Shawn can barely stand and Austin congratulates him for giving it everything he had. Austin grabs the mic and talks about starting here in Dallas and going out here as well. Coach comes out to laugh and gets beaten up one more time with security getting the same treatment. Beer is consumed as a final goodbye. You know, assuming you believe that he’s gone for good this time.

We recap Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon. Undertaker wants the title one more time but Vince screwed him over at No Mercy. Therefore Undertaker wanted a Buried Alive match here, because that’s where you go from here. Vince then went into this weird spiritual thing, which really didn’t work or accomplish much.

Tazz’s key for Vince’s victory: AVOID THE HOLE! Good advice.

Vince McMahon vs. Undertaker

Buried Alive and Vince drops to a knee in prayer before the match. Undertaker punches him down to start and the beating is on in a hurry. Vince is already bleeding less than thirty seconds in as this is going to be one sided for a long time. The beating continues until Undertaker crotches him on the post to switch things up a bit. More low blows keep Vince in trouble and it’s time to go to the floor with Undertaker choking with a cord. Completely one sided so far, as you probably guessed.

Cole and Tazz try to explain the idea of Vince being punished for his sins, which I’m guessing are mainly about Stephanie. I mean, almost everything else is. Vince is thrown over the announcers’ table and it’s time to go to the grave. Well just Undertaker at this point and he comes back with a shovel. One heck of a shot to the head rocks Vince again and Cole declares it over. So much for Undertaker’s hot streak.

Vince’s ankle gets crushed by the steps and NOW it’s time to head to the grave. Vince finally throws some dirt in the eyes (his first “offense”) and a low blow keeps Undertaker in trouble. A shovel to the head puts Undertaker in the grave….for a few seconds. He pulls Vince in and goes to the front loader to drop the dirt but gets cut off by lightning. Cue Kane to beat up Undertaker and bury him (again) to give Vince the win.

Rating: D-. So yeah LOLVINCEWINS because of course he does. There was nothing to see here unless you like Undertaker destroying people and then having a surprise ending. The announcers treated this like Undertaker’s last match, because if there’s one thing Undertaker is known for, it’s going away for good. It’s more of a match than an angle, and there’s no way that’s how Undertaker is going out. Bad match but moderately entertaining beatdown.

Cole and Tazz are SHOCKED.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Goldberg won the title last month so HHH put a $100,000 bounty on his head. Batista returned and collected by breaking Goldberg’s ankle so tonight it’s about revenge and the title. There’s not much of a reason for this to main event but would you expect much else? Well save for Vince maybe?

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg

Goldberg is defending and is coming in with a bad ankle. HHH is looking as out of shape as I’ve seen him in years, probably due to his bad groin injury. Hang on a second though as Goldberg has to quickly dispatch Flair to make it a little more fair. They head outside in short order with Goldberg hammering away but the ankle gives out on a gorilla press attempt.

A chop block takes Goldberg down and we hit the meat of the match. Flair is back up as HHH sends Goldberg outside, meaning a distraction sets up a chair to Goldberg’s ankle. There’s another chop block back inside and the slow leg work continues with Flair getting in a few shots of his own. A knee drop keeps the ankle in trouble and we hit a half crab. At least he knows his low level submissions.

Goldberg grabs the rope and fires off some right hands to little avail. A limping clothesline works a bit better as Flair is beside himself. HHH takes him down again and calls for a Figure Four, only to be kicked into the referee. That means brass knuckles for a very near fall and HHH beats up the referee again. The sledgehammer is brought down but Goldberg kicks him down with the bad ankle.

Flair’s latest attempt at interfering gets him slammed off the top (JR: “It hasn’t worked in thirty years.”) and Goldberg grabs the hammer. A shot to the ribs drops Flair and an invading Batista and Orton are quickly dispatched as well. The Pedigree is blocked and Goldberg picks up the hammer again but throws it down. Instead it’s a spear and Jackhammer to retain the title like a real man.

Rating: D+. Well if you’re a fan of HHH working the ankle, have fun. Goldberg looks strong, but there have been so many other big matches tonight that this isn’t the strongest way to end things. I’ll give them points for giving Goldberg a push, but you’re crazy if you think HHH isn’t getting the title back within the next month. Just a messy brawl, but it could have been much worse. At least HHH didn’t need fifteen minutes of working the leg.

Overall Rating: C-. There’s some good and bad stuff on this show but the bad wins out in the end. Between the weak main event, not great opener and pretty terrible Vince vs. Undertaker match, there’s not enough to put with Shawn’s amazing performance. This was better than I was expecting though and that’s a nice relief. Both shows need something fresh on top and it actually seems to be happening on Smackdown. I’ll take one out of two, especially at this point in time.

 

 

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Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Stacy Keibler introduces Saliva to perform Always live at the World. At least we get some highlights for the show as a bonus.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Back in and Noble reverses a backslide into the tiger bomb for two but makes the mistake of putting Kidman on the top. A good looking super DDT plants Noble but since DDTs mean nothing, Jamie is right back up for a hanging DDT off the top for his own near fall. An enziguri drops Noble again and, after a failed Nidia distraction, the shooting star gives us a new champion.

Victoria is getting ready but apparently her mirror thinks Trish Stratus is prettier.

We recap Victoria vs. Trish. Victoria claims that Trish slept her way into a job after WWE wanted to sign both of them. Now Victoria is here to get revenge on her former friend. The music sounds like the shower scene from Psycho for a nice touch.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Heyman and Show run to the parking lot and drive away.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle vs. Los Guerreros vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Eddie gives Edge the frog splash but Benoit breaks it up with a Swan Dive for no apparent reason. Angle comes back in with the ankle lock on Eddie while Benoit Crossfaces Edge, only to have Chavo save Edge with the title. Kurt picks up the title so Benoit thinks it was him, leaving Edge to spear Benoit for the first elimination. That leaves us with two but Benoit and Angle wreck everyone before heading to the back. What poor sportsmanship.

Shawn Michaels is ready to talk about why he believes he can win but RNN BREAKING NEWS tells us that Randy came here to watch. Luckily a sexy flight attendant gave him an extra pillow so there was no further damage to his shoulder.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T. vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Rob Van Dam

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Original: C+

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Original: C-

2012 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D-

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C-

Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Original: B

2012 Redo: B+

2017 Redo: B

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: C+

I must have been in a REALLY bad mood when I watched the main event for the second time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/02/20/survivor-series-2002-the-longest-rant-about-anything-ive-ever-done/

And the 2012 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/10/survivor-series-count-up-2002/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Survivor Series 2001
Date: November 18, 2001
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 10,142
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

European Title: Christian vs. Al Snow

Rating: C-. This is one of those shows where anything but the main event means nothing, which makes the first hour and a half of the show pretty uninteresting to sit through. This match was fine but it could have been on Smackdown on any given week. Snow and Christian are both good hands so a good match is really nothing shocking at all.

William Regal vs. Tajiri

Regal powerbombs him again post match. Torrie (looking GREAT in a purple top and leather pants) comes out to check on Tajiri, only to get powerbombed as well.

We recap Edge vs. Test. These two are both midcard champions after the seemingly dozens of never ending midcard title changes going on at this point. Edge is US Champion, Test is IC Champion, tonight only one belt survives.

Intercontinental Title/US Title: Edge vs. Test

They fight over control to start with Edge taking over via a series of forearms to the head. Test powers him down and goes after the ribs with a wide ranging selection of stomps. We head to the floor with Edge being dropped across the barricade to further the attack on the ribs. Back in and Edge hits a dropkick to take over before we head outside again. Back in quickly and a swinging neckbreaker gets two for Edge.

Test drops Edge onto the top rope ribs first to reinjure him and the taller of the blonde Canadian champions takes over again. Test puts on a chinlock as the match slows down again. Edge fights up and avoids a corner charge before hitting a middle rope missile dropkick for two. A middle rope cross body misses though and Test puts him on the top rope.

A cage is lowered.

WCW Tag Titles/WWF Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

Jeff is taken out on a stretcher.

Mick Foley is at WWF New York and admits that his job (WWF Commissioner) means nothing.

Scotty 2 Hotty is about to be in the Immunity Battle Royal but Test beats him up to take his spot.

Immunity Battle Royal

Test, Billy Gunn, Bradshaw, Farrooq, Lance Storm, Billy Kidman, Diamond Dallas Page, Albert, Tazz, Perry Saturn, Raven, Chuck Palumbo, Crash Holly, Justin Credible, Shawn Stasiak, Steven Richards, Tommy Dreamer, The Hurricane, Spike Dudley, Hugh Morrus, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Funaki

Sacrifice video by Creed.

Vince looks at Team WWF and gives them a pep talk, bringing up names like Dr. Jerry Graham, Peter Maivia, Gorilla Monsoon (pop) and Andre the Giant (BIG pop). He understands he might be looking at a group of losers, and if that happens no one will ever forgive them. After listening to that speech, I want to go fight three WWF guys and one guy each from ECW and WCW!

We recap the main event which has been summed up pretty well already. Vince was replaced by Big Show and Rock and Jericho are having major issues. Rock is WCW champion and Austin is WWF Champion. This really does feel like a huge match. The video is set to Control by Puddle of Mudd which is a good song.

Basically Vince said that he was tired of all of the InVasion (I think a lot of us were at this point) and offered one winner take all match with the losing organization going out of business. Angle joined the Alliance after the announcement but Vince says Austin is coming back to the WWF, giving the Alliance reason to be concerned. Austin stunned Angle on TV recently to further that idea.

Team WWF vs. Team Alliance

The Rock, Chris Jericho, Big Show, Undertaker, Kane

Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Booker T, Rob Van Dam, Shane McMahon

Everyone gets individual entrances so it takes forever to get to the start of the match. As those are going on, a few things to notice here: Team Alliance has one of the biggest WWF superstars ever, a guy that at this point had only wrestled in the WWF, a WCW guy, an ECW guy, and the then heir to the WWF throne.

Angle gets thrown around but eventually slips behind Kane and hits a German Suplex for two. Kane comes back with a side slam and the top rope clothesline for two of his own as Shane saves again. Off to the Dead Man who pounds away but misses a charge into the corner, allowing Booker to get the tag. Taker immediately drops Booker and hits a legdrop, but Shane breaks up his fifth near fall of the match.

Booker stomps on Rock but Rocky comes back with right hands. A side kick takes Rock right back down but Rock does the same with a DDT for two. Booker charges into a Samoan Drop for two as Austin makes the save. Rock whips Booker into Angle and grabs a rollup to eliminate Mr. T, making it 3-2.

Everyone celebrates and Vince comes out for the big dramatic pose, because this whole storyline was all about Vince and his kids remember.

Ratings Comparison

Christian vs. Al Snow

Original: C+

Redo: C-

William Regal vs. Tajiri

Original: C

Redo: N/A

Edge vs. Test

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Battle Royal

Original: N/A

Redo: C-

Trish Stratus vs. Lita vs. Jacqueline vs. Ivory vs. Mighty Molly vs. Jazz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Team WWF vs. Team Alliance

Original: B

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: B+

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/10/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2001-the-end-of-the-alliance-thank-goodness/

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