Smackdown – May 26, 2016: The Wrestlemania Show Sequel
Smackdown Date: May 26, 2016
Location: Norfolk Scope Arena, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo
It’s actually a big night here as we have two title matches on a single show. First of all we have Miz defending the Intercontinental Title against Cesaro after the champion lost a non-title match this past Monday on Raw. The second title match will see the new US Champion Rusev defending against Kalisto in the masked man’s rematch. Let’s get to it.
The opening video recaps Monday’s Money in the Bank qualifying matches.
Opening sequence.
Michael Cole is in the ring with the Money in the Bank briefcase and brings out Dean Ambrose for a chat. Dean says he loves getting violent and the idea of being in a seven man ladder match sounds great to him. This brings out Kevin Owens to tell Cole to get out of the ring because Owens is sick enough of him on Raw. Owens says there’s no way Dean is winning that briefcase because he’s ready to climb the ladder, just like he did at Wrestlemania.
Cue Sami Zayn (Lawler: “The man with the stupid hat.”) to say this isn’t a joke because he’s going after everything at Money in the Bank. Now it’s Alberto Del Rio (who hasn’t qualified) to say he’s cashed in before and he’ll do it again here tonight. Sami turns to yell at him and gets decked by Owens. The three in the ring start brawling and Sami vs. Dean is teased.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio
Beating Ryder is almost a running joke at this point. Alberto kicks him down and chokes on the ropes to start, only to get kicked into the barricade as we take an early break. Back with Del Rio working on a chinlock and a clip of Del Rio hitting the double stomp on the floor during the break. Ryder fights up but misses his middle rope dropkick.
The low superkick gets two for Alberto, only to have Zack grab a jawbreaker. The Broski Boot gives Ryder a near fall of his own but Del Rio counters the Rough Ryder. He can’t the top rope double stomp though and walks into the Rough Ryder for no cover as Del Rio gets outside. Back in and the cross armbreaker makes Ryder tap at 9:35. Well that could have been shorter.
Rating: D+. Does beating Ryder really mean anything anymore? Alberto is another name that really doesn’t need to be in the match but can be there to fill in a spot. It’s another case of just having people in the match for the sake of having them in the match as no one buys Del Rio as a realistic winner but he can clutter things up even more.
Video on Sunday’s main event and Seth Rollins’ return, including the announcement of the Money in the Bank title match.
Here are Enzo and Cass with something to say but before Enzo can get anywhere, here are the Dudleyz to interrupt (Lawler: “WOOHOO! Thank goodness.”). Enzo says he isn’t Willy Wonka so he won’t suger coat anything. The Dudleyz are as sweet as a Cinnabon and he isn’t biting his tongue when he’s chewing someone out. Cass offers to throw them a beatdown right now but the Dudleyz say not tonight. Instead, we’ll do this on Raw but for now, Bubba asks D-Von if they can please get out of this town.
Rusev says after tonight, Kalisto will never be able to fly again.
Video on Cesaro making Miz tap at Extreme Rules and then pinning him the next night on Raw.
US Title: Kalisto vs. Rusev
Rusev is defending after defeating Kalisto on Sunday. During Kalisto’s entrance, Byron almost casually mentions the impending Brand Split. Kalisto goes right after him to start and sends Rusev to the ropes with a headscissors. A springboard is knocked out of the air though and we take a break about thirty seconds in. Back with Kalisto being sent hard into the corner and actually trying to slam the champion. This works as well as you would expect and Rusev stomps away to stay in control.
Kalisto pops up again and gets the slam, which shocks the way too confident Rusev. A rollup gets two on Rusev and the corkscrew cross body gets the same. Kalisto follows up with a springboard moonsault to the floor for two as Lana looks…..well she looks normal actually. Rusev blocks the Salida Del Sol, only to miss a running headbutt in the corner. He’s fine enough to raise his knees to block a 450 though and it’s the jumping superkick and Accolade to retain the title at 8:53.
Rating: C+. I don’t think there was any doubt here but at least Kalisto got in some offense. They’re trying to make Rusev into a big time champion but I’ll need to see him get a few more big wins before I can buy this as anything more than a run destined to put over a bigger name.
Rusev goes after Kalisto again post match until Titus O’Neil of all people comes in for the save. This is either a curve ball to make us think it’s not going to be the start of Cena vs. Rusev on Monday or a very odd choice.
Video on Charlotte retaining on Sunday and then turning her back on her dad the next night. This is accompanied by clips of wrestlers talking about how horrible this was and how big of a mistake Charlotte really made, because how could she be good without Ric Flair? That look from Ric when he said nothing was wrong and left actually got to me a bit.
Natalya vs. Dana Brooke
Charlotte is on commentary. Natalya fires off some forearms in the corner but gets knocked down and put in the Sharpshooter, only to have Charlotte come in for the DQ at 45. This isn’t exactly a wrestling heavy show tonight.
Natalya puts Charlotte in the Sharpshooter and then throws the villains together. Charlotte gets back up though and Natalya gets beaten down. They’re really continuing this feud after Charlotte has beaten her twice?
Stills of Sunday’s main event and video of the Club breaking up on Monday plus Owens pinning AJ Styles to qualify.
Styles doesn’t know what he’s doing next.
Golden Truth vs. Breezango
Truth and Breeze get things off but it’s quickly off to Fandango who gets two off a dropkick. Fandango goes after Goldust to get him off the apron though, allowing Breeze to sneak in a Supermodel Kick to give give Fandango the pin at 1:40.
Post break Goldust tries to convince Truth that the team needs to stick together. Breezango comes in and laughs at them so Truth agrees to keep going.
Here’s Seth Rollins for a talk. In case you missed it, he’s back and couldn’t be better. Unfortunately he can’t say the same for the fans and that’s that.
Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Cesaro
Miz is defending. Cesaro dropkicks him out to the floor to start and cannonballs down onto the champ as we take another early break. Back with Miz going after the shoulder and sending it into the post and barricade. The champ slaps on an armbar until Cesaro fights up with the uppercuts. Miz gets two off a Reality Check before distracting the referee so Maryse can rip off the turnbuckle pad.
Cesaro blocks the steel though and gets two off a small package. The Sharpshooter doesn’t work either as Miz gets to the rope and tries to leave with the title. Instead he eats the running European uppercut for two. The Swing is kicked away though and Cesaro goes shoulder first into the buckle. Miz grabs the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin to retain at 10:31.
Rating: B-. More 50/50 booking of course. This was ok but the lack of time didn’t really help things. Unfortunately this is Cesaro 101 as he comes so close most of the time but can never have the trigger pulled. I’m fine with Miz as champion and thankfully they made sure that it wasn’t a clean pin, but this was still a lot less entertaining than I was hoping for after Sunday.
Overall Rating: D. This show felt like the nothing episodes that they air before Wrestlemania when they know no one is watching and they want to set up the pay per view. We had about half an hour of wrestling tonight and most of the matches ranged from ok to something most people would have no interest in seeing. Extreme Rules was a good show but it’s nothing that I really wanted to see again. I’m really not sure what they were going for tonight but it missed and it missed badly.
Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross armbreaker
Rusev b. Kalisto – Accolade
Natalya b. Dana Brooke via DQ when Charlotte interfered
Breezango b. Golden Truth – Supermodel Kick to R-Truth
The Miz b. Cesaro – Skull Crushing Finale
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Smackdown – May 19, 2016: Please Let It End On Sunday
Smackdown Date: May 19, 2016
Location: Bon Secours Wellness Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton
It’s the final show before Extreme Rules and this past Monday wasn’t exactly the strongest episode of Raw in recent memory. The stories are starting to run out of steam and Sunday can’t get here soon enough. Odds are tonight is going to be about the Intercontinental and WWE World Title stories, which could go a few different ways each. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap focuses on Monday’s oddball tag match and makes sure to show Shane and Stephanie setting it up in case you’re stupid enough to think these matches are just happening.
Opening sequence.
Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro
Miz, Maryse and Sami Zayn are on commentary. Miz gets right to the point and says tonight’s MizTV is canceled. It never ceases to amaze me that they feel the need to change plans from Monday to Tuesday. They slug it out to start as Miz and Sami bicker about Miz constantly getting beaten up. Since this is WWE, the camera keeps cutting to the announcers’ table so we can see them arguing, completely defeating the point of them being on commentary.
Cesaro dropkicks him out to the floor, followed by some chops. Back inside and Cesaro stops for a quick Rumba. I mean of course that’s just a guess as I can’t see what he’s doing because we’re looking at the announcers’ table again but it’s my best guess. Owens bails from the threat of a European uppercut so Cesaro follows him out for the running version up against the barricade. Maryse offers a distraction and Owens knocks Cesaro into the table and then whips him into the steps for a bonus.
Owens mocks Miz’s flapping arms and drops a backsplash for two (Owens: “HOW IS MY CLOSEUP?”). Maryse yells at Sami in French, forgetting that he’s from Montreal. Another backsplash hits raised knees because you can’t hit the same spot twice (makes sense in theory, though Cesaro should have known that the first one was coming given how Owens uses it in every match) but Owens sends him into the corner for the Cannonball.
Back from a break with another shot of the commentary team showing Miz and Maryse kissing. Cesaro fires in an uppercut to break up the frog splash and grabbing a gutwrench superplex to put both guys down. A high cross body gets two for Cesaro as the wrestlers on commentary actually start paying attention and breaking down the match. The Swing doesn’t work though and Owens bails to the floor, only to have him blast Sami in the face.
Cesaro flips off the apron to take out Owens before punching Miz in the face. Back in and Cesaro’s eats a superkick for two but Sami comes in, only to have Cesaro punch him in the face, either over the Helluva Kick last week or to prevent a DQ. The distraction lets Owens get in a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 14:48.
Rating: B-. I’m really digging the idea they’re going with here and it’s actually turned into a four way feud instead of two guys feuding and the other two just being there on the side. I’m actually not sure who walks out with the title on Sunday and it would seem that there are multiple ways to go after the match is over. That’s a hard thing to pull off but they’ve managed to do it with four talented guys doing what they’re supposed to do.
Post match Sami gives Cesaro the Helluva Kick but takes the Skull Crushing Finale.
Paige vs. Dana Brooke
Becky Lynch is on commentary and says her eye injury is the worst thing she’s ever had because the double vision means she has to see Dana twice. Paige knees her in the face to start as we hear about Becky fighting Paige’s mom over in the UK. Dana trips Paige up though and we hit a leg scissors back inside. Becky thinks she should be named Becky Balboa because she keeps getting up like Rocky. Some kicks and knees stagger Dana but she grabs a Samoan Driver for the upset pin at 3:16.
Rating: D+. Dana looked better here but that might be due to how short the match was, which always helps things out a little bit. Brooke has a great look and a lot of potential but she just needs more time in the ring, preferably down in developmental. She’s just been called up too early to be on her own, which to be fair wasn’t the plan until a few days ago. That being said, what the heck has happened to Paige? She’s gone from the top of the division to absolutely nothing in no time. I really don’t get it.
Lana, with that accent dying faster than Paige’s push, says Kalisto is hiding behind his mask and that Rusev is the greatest champion of all time. Rusev says the chant will be MACHKA MACHKA MACHKA.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus
It feels like we haven’t seen Sheamus in a long time. Ziggler is shoved around to start before coming back with knees and right hands in the corner. A hard ax handle to the face drops Ziggler though and we take a break. Back with another ax handle blasting Dolph in the face before his superkick is countered with an elbow to the knee.
We hit the chinlock for a bit before Ziggler fights up and gets in a Fameasser for a near fall. The neckbreaker is broken up though and Sheamus gets two off the Irish Curse. Back up and the Zig Zag is countered but Sheamus misses a charge, setting up a superkick to give Dolph the fluke pin at 10:48.
Rating: C-. Sheamus has just died since the League split up. I had forgotten that he was around for a bit as he was only in the battle royal recently and then hadn’t been seen since. Ziggler vs. Corbin isn’t much better though as I have no idea why they’re feuding, especially since Corbin should have won in the first place but we need to give Ziggler a fluke win instead.
Corbin comes out to say he’ll hurt Ziggler on Sunday.
The Asylum cage is lowered and here’s Chris Jericho for a chat. Jericho demands quiet by saying QUIET over and over before pointing out the cage hanging above us. Well to be fair no one noticed the cage hanging above the ring on Raw until Ambrose pointed it out so that was kind of necessary. Jericho lists off all of the matches that he’s been in over the years and admits that he’s never been in an Asylum match because there’s never been one. However that means Ambrose hasn’t been in one either, meaning Jericho has the advantage because he’s smarter and crazier.
Jericho asks that the cage be lowered as he talks about how he put Dean in the hospital with a twenty pound plant. Looking up, Jericho adds up the days he can put Dean in the hospital by using all of these weapons, which he sees as at least forty days. That’s not counting all the mental anguish that goes with it, but above all else, Dean is receiving the Gift of Jericho. As the crowd drinks it in, a production worker comes in and of course it’s Dean, who beats Jericho down with a kendo stick to send him running off. Guys in costumes are always an effective idea so this was fine.
And now, a life lesson with Bob Backlund. Bob talks about how Darren should be able to memorize these things and demands that he recite the Presidents of the United States in order. Young: “Coach no one can do that.” Backlund: “Washington, Adams, Jefferson….” Young swears a bit and Backlund LOSES IT, saying that no one needs that kind of language and demands 200 jumping jacks because Young needs to be great in the ring. These are really funny bits and I’m sure that Young in front of a blue background and Backlund in front of a red one is coincidental.
Big Cass/New Day vs. Dudley Boyz/Vaudevillains
The announcers are flat out saying that Cass has been doing better since Enzo has been gone. During the entrances, we see the Vaudevillains destroying the time machine, which messes up the announcers’ audio for some reason. D-Von and Big E. get things going with the latter getting two off a belly to belly. Byron’s audio is still barely audible as D-Von runs Kofi over and brings in Bubba, who misses a splash attempt. It’s time for the Unicorn Stampede before a big staredown takes us to a break.
Back with Woods hammering on Bubba in the corner until Ray clotheslines him down. Byron’s audio is back because we’re just that lucky. The Vaudevillains starts taking over now with Gotch snapmaring Woods so English can drop a knee for two. The Dudleyz don’t seem thrilled with their lack of ring time here as Bubba shouts at Gotch for tagging in English instead of D-Von.
Bubba comes in instead and punches away while shouting about Bootyo’s. Woods finally gets away and makes the hot tag off to Cass for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Big E. suplexes Gotch before throwing Kofi over the top onto English. A pretty horrible looking East River Crossing (mostly botched as Bubba is a bit too big) sets up the Empire Elbow to give Cass the pin at 10:38.
Rating: C. I’d be really surprised if they don’t give Cass a spot on Sunday’s card in an added match. They certainly seem to be pushing him at this point and it’s really cool to see someone this young and brand new on the roster getting such a shot. I don’t know if he has everything to make it work but at least he’s getting a good start.
John Cena is back on May 30.
Long video on Natalya vs. Charlotte on Sunday with Charlotte talking about how she’ll be twice as good as her dad because she uses the Figure Eight instead of the Figure Four.
Luke Gallows vs. Roman Reigns
Non-title. Usos vs. Anderson/Gallows in a Texas Tornado match is official for Sunday. Sweet goodness just stop already. Anderson/Styles/Usos, the latter again without the Siva Tau, are at ringside here. They trade elbows to start but only Reigns goes down. A second elbow knocks him outside so Reigns comes back inside where his Samoan drop gets two. We take a break and come back with Reigns firing off kicks to the ribs until Gallows takes his head off with a clothesline for a near fall of his own.
We hit the chinlock for a bit before a corner splash crushes Reigns again. That’s enough action so we hit the chinlock again. Roman gets up for a jumping clothesline but AJ’s distraction lets Gallows get in a rollup for two. There’s the Superman punch but AJ grabs Reigns’ foot to break up the spear. Everything breaks down on the floor with Reigns kicking AJ in the face, only to walk into the Gallows’ Pole (chokebomb) for a very close two. Anderson comes in and that’s a DQ at 11:50, despite him not touching anything.
Rating: C+. Not a bad power brawl but you knew the ending was going to be screwy. I have no idea why they couldn’t just wait until Anderson actually did something before getting to the DQ but anything that lets these six brawl more is the right idea in WWE’s eyes. That being said, it would be nice if Anderson and Gallows could actually, you know, WIN SOMETHING eventually.
Post match Anderson gives Reigns the Boot of Doom and the fight keeps going. AJ is the only man standing but he takes too long loading up the announcers’ table. Reigns gets in a few shots but everyone else gets back in it to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. Thank goodness it’s over. This wasn’t even a bad show or even a below average show. It was just incredibly boring for one simple reason: this is all padding instead of ANYTHING worthwhile (save for a decent Ambrose/Jericho segment). We’ve seen the opening match in various forms time after time, Dana doesn’t have a match on Sunday, Ziggler vs. Corbin has been done multiple times, Big Cass vs. New Day isn’t a match as far as I know and the main event stuff has been done to death.
I don’t remember the last time a company just ran out of steam like this the week before a pay per view but it’s been a rough two shows. Hopefully they don’t try to stretch these stories out through June as I don’t even want to imagine what we might have to sit through in that case. The quality was fine tonight but there’s just nothing interesting going on here.
Results
Kevin Owens b. Cesaro – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Dana Brooke b. Paige – Samoan Driver
Dolph Ziggler b. Sheamus – Superkick
Big Cass/New Day b. Dudley Boyz/Vaudevillains – Empire Elbow to Bubba Ray
Roman Reigns b. Luke Gallows via DQ when Karl Anderson interfered
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Monday Night Raw – May 9, 2016: It’s Hard Out There For A Champ
Monday Night Raw Date: May 9, 2016
Location: CenturyLink Center Omaha, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
Things are still on a bit of a roll in WWE as we’re getting closer and closer to Extreme Rules in thirteen days. Last week saw Roman Reigns and the Usos trade six man tag team wins against AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows but it’s not clear how closely affiliated Styles is with his New Japan buddies. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of the six man tag and post match issues with Styles refusing to hit Reigns with a chair and getting powerbombed through the announcers’ table. The rematch on Smackdown isn’t mentioned whatsoever, as is usually the case.
Tonight we’ll see the same six man, albeit with elimination rules.
Here’s Chris Jericho to kick things off with the Highlight Reel. Dean Ambrose was supposed to be his guest but he’s still in the hospital. Jericho has a replacement though as he unveils the remains of Mitch the plant. They’re not all that dissimilar because they’re both in pieces and could be entertaining at times.
Jericho finds it amusing that the fans were more concerned about Mitch than Dean after last week. Ambrose has no value on his own but Jericho is the Haley’s comet of WWE: a once in a lifetime talent so drink him in. This brings out Colin Cassady of all people to say that if this is the gift of Jericho, you better give him the receipt with it. Cass talks about the new era and says Jericho is standing in his way.
Jericho thinks Cass should go visit his buddy Enzo Annoying in the hospital but that’s not cool with Cass, who wants to fight right now. Jericho tries to call himself the best in the world but Cass covers the microphone, leaving Jericho looking stunned. The jacket comes off but Jericho leaves. Cass calls him SAWFT to draw Jericho back in, earning himself a great looking boot to the face. This was a well done exchange, even though I can’t imagine Cass pinning Jericho in a match.
Post break Jericho goes to Stephanie to say Shane is trying to ruin this new era (that’s probably the eighth time they’ve used that word in about 22 minutes) but Stephanie likes everyone getting a new chance. Therefore tonight, Jericho is facing Big Cass (complete with Stephanie doing the catchphrases because this is the wacky, fun loving Stephanie) in the main event. Oh and Jericho should never, EVER, try to drive a wedge between Stephanie and her brother Shane again. I’m so glad she pointed out which brother it was in that totally natural way of speaking of hers.
Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler
Before the match, Corbin says he’s the force in this new era. They start brawling early with Ziggler sending him outside and into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Ziggler caught in a chinlock before Corbin just lays in with heavy right hands. Corbin ducks his head though and eats a Fameasser for two. The Zig Zag is countered into a big old Deep Six for two but Corbin stops to pose too much. Ziggler tries the same rollup he beat Corbin with the first time out but Corbin kicks out and plants him with the End of Days for the pin at 8:28.
Rating: C-. The match was fine but more importantly it’s the match that should have happened at Payback. However, why have Corbin destroy Ziggler on pay per view when you can have more 50/50 booking, likely setting up a third match? My guess is because Corbin needed to be taught some kind of lesson or whatever their latest reason is, or perhaps because the writers have no idea how to book new talent aside from trading wins with an established name.
We look back at Stephanie making Charlotte vs. Natalya at Extreme Rules in a submission match with Ric Flair banned from ringside.
Charlotte and Ric Flair come in to see Shane, who they think should reverse Stephanie’s decision. Shane thinks otherwise and bans Ric from ringside tonight as well.
Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows/AJ Styles regret not going after Reigns last week. Tonight the Club is back together.
Fandango vs. R-Truth
This is a preview match for Gorgeous Truth vs. Goldango on Smackdown. Of course it’s a danceoff to start with Truth (complete with gold hair tips) doing a spinning bunny hop. Fandango dropkicks him down and dances, drawing Goldust up to the apron for some swiveling of his own. Breeze gets up as well but gets knocked right back down, setting up the Lie Detector for the pin at 2:11. You know, this is a stupid feud but I’ll give them points for actually sticking with the thing. It’s harmless enough so let them get a story told.
Miz, Cesaro and Kevin Owens are with the McMahons and Stephanie makes a triple threat match for the Intercontinental Title at Extreme Rules. Sami Zayn comes in to ask about making it a triple threat. He wants to be involved but Shane says he has to earn it, which he can by beating Miz tonight. Otherwise, Sami goes to the back of the line.
Paige vs. Charlotte
Non-title with Natalya on commentary. Paige quickly takes it to the floor and starts slugging away with forearms as Natalya talks about it being a beautiful day in Omaha. A big boot gets two for Charlotte, followed by some knees to the chest. Paige kicks her in the head for two more, followed by a good looking superplex for the same. Charlotte gets out of the PTO and grabs a rollup with her feet on the ropes, only to have Natalya break it up. Cue Ric Flair, allowing Charlotte to get in a backbreaker…..and here’s Shane to interrupt. Referees get Flair out of there and Paige grabs a rollup for the pin at 7:45.
Rating: C+. Yet again WWE manages to overbook things. This could have been the exact same match with Paige winning off a regular rollup and Ric not being involved. It even gives you a better story with Charlotte not being able to win on her own. I mean, it’s not like this is going to lead anywhere for Paige so why not go with the simpler story?
We look back at Cass and Jericho earlier.
Sami Zayn vs. The Miz
Non-title. Sami gets in some rollups for two early and headscissors Miz out to the floor. Miz bails to avoid the suicide dive and drives Sami’s back into the barricade instead. The moonsault off the barricade takes Miz down, only to have Maryse yell a lot as we take a break. Back with Sami being sent hard into the steps and barely beating the count back in. Miz kicks him in the face and gets in the short DDT for two.
The Figure Four is broken up and Sami gets a near fall of his own off the Michinoku Driver. Now the Figure Four goes on but Sami dives over and makes the rope. A sunset flip is blocked as Miz grabs the ropes, only to have the referee break it up. The exploder suplex into the corner sets up the Helluva Kick for the most obvious pin in a long time to send Sami to Extreme Rules at 12:58.
Rating: B-. I liked the match as usual but you could see the ending coming a mile away. After all, the only thing better than having one champion get pinned is to have TWO champions get pinned back to back in the span of half an hour. Sami winning is a good thing, though I can’t imagine he gets the title at the pay per view.
Becky Lynch doesn’t believe that the eye poke last week was an accident. Emma comes up to tell her that she really needs eyes in the back of her head. Cue the debuting Dana Brooke to lay Becky out and tell her that playtime is over.
We see Darren Young asking Bob Backlund to be his coach. As usual, Smackdown means nothing.
The Up Up Down Down crew shills Pizza Hut.
Zack Ryder is telling Shane that he knows he belongs when Kevin Owens comes in. Owens sums up the whole thing by asking Ryder why he exists. Shane’s decision is to make Owens vs. Ryder for the spot in the Intercontinental Title match tonight.
Roman Reigns and the Usos are ready to get rid of Gallows/Anderson before Reigns takes Styles out on his own.
Sin Cara vs. Rusev
Rusev suplexes him down a few times, followed by a bearhug and a fall away slam. Cara’s quick comeback goes a bit better than you would expect with Cara getting in a moonsault to send Rusev outside. A suicide dive looks to set up the Swanton but Rusev blasts him with a superkick. Lana starts yelling for no apparent reason, allowing Kalisto to kick Rusev in the head. Cara grabs a rollup for the pin upset at 3:45.
Rating: D. Does this show want to make my head hurt? Their big idea to make me want to see Rusev vs. Kalisto is to have Sin Cara beat him? I mean I know he just had a title match at Wrestlemania but this is still a stretch. This is the third straight match where the booking has somehow gotten worse and I have no idea who thinks this is the right idea.
Greetings From Puerto Rico. I have no idea if this is ever going anywhere but it might be nice to do something with it already.
Roman Reigns/Usos vs. AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows
Elimination rules. Jey smacks Karl in the face to start and it’s already off to Reigns, meaning the booing begins early. That goes nowhere so Jey powerslams Anderson for no cover, only to have Anderson get in an uppercut from the floor, allowing Anderson to roll Jey up with tights for the pin at 2:38. Now we get Reigns vs. Styles with a big shot sending AJ right back into the corner. It’s already off to Gallows to run over Jimmy, who rolls the legal Anderson up for the pin at 4:35 total.
Back from a break with just Jimmy having been eliminated during the break. Reigns wastes no time and Superman Punches Gallows for the elimination at 9:35. It’s down to one on one so AJ hits the strike rush and knocks Reigns out to the floor. That means it’s time to load up the announcers’ table but Reigns throws AJ across instead. This brings out Anderson with a chair to blast Reigns for the DQ at 11:43.
Rating: C+. The match was fine, albeit with your usually questionable eliminations ala a Survivor Series match. I do like the ending better than Reigns taking a fall, though I dread the eventual title match with the Usos and Club running in for twenty minutes before Reigns wins anyway.
Post break everyone but Reigns and Styles fight to the back, leaving AJ to load up a Styles Clash on the chair. Reigns backdrops him to the apron though, leaving them in a staredown with the chair between them. Roman picks it up and throws it to AJ’s feet. Styles tries the Forearm but Reigns grabs the chair, leaving AJ to bail to the floor.
Zack Ryder vs. Kevin Owens
The winner is in the Intercontinental Title match at Extreme Rules. Owens grabs a headlock to start (Owens: “NO ONE BREAKS MY HEADLOCK!”) before running Ryder over and dropping the backsplash. They head outside with Owens trying the apron powerbomb but getting backdropped instead. Back in and Owens blasts him in the back of the head with a clothesline but misses the Cannonball. Ryder takes him outside for the Broski Boot up against the barricade, followed by the top rope Elbro for two back inside. The Rough Ryder doesn’t work and it’s the Pop Up Powerbomb to end Ryder at 4:05.
Rating: D+. Yes yes, WWE. You’ve made it very clear that Ryder winning anything is nothing more than a pipe dream. You don’t have to pound it into our heads all over again like we’re stupid enough to believe it could actually go somewhere. I really don’t know why this needed to happen but Ryder getting beaten up every single week is almost more cruel than anything else at this point.
Big Cass says he’ll win tonight.
Here’s New Day for a chat, complete with Kofi twirling some unicorn horns like nunchucks. They’re not sure how to pronounce Vaudevillains but realize they’re the opponents at Extreme Rules for the WWE World Tag Team Championships. We get some bowing down to the last piece of BootyO’s before Big E. says the Vaudevillains are from an era that weren’t kind to people like them. Woods looks nervous but Big E. says he’s talking about smartphone users. Those are the kinds of phones you can use to call your Mammy and Pappy to tell them NEW DAY ROCKS.
New Day vs. Dudley Boyz
Non-title and joined in progress after a break with Bubba hammering on Kofi’s face. Bubba even dances a bit before it’s off to Big E. for a shoulder and the Warrior Splash. Kofi comes back in and eats D-Von’s spinning elbow for two, only to have Big E. launch him onto D-Von in the corner for two. Everything breaks down for a bit until D-Von gets caught in the Unicorn Stampede. Cue the Vaudevillains to go after Woods though, leaving D-Von to hit one heck of a clothesline for the pin on Kofi at 5:10.
Rating: D+. A champ just got pinned with a clothesline. You couldn’t have them get counted out while they chase the Vaudevillains off instead? Anyway, the match was watchable enough and set up some stuff going forward but it felt like they were just filling in time until Gotch and English ran out there.
Kofi gets the Whirling Dervish post match.
Chris Jericho vs. Colin Cassady
During Jericho’s entrance, someone attacks him and steals the jacket. For reasons of general stupidity, the announcers are stunned when it’s Dean Ambrose. Dean rips up the jacket and Jericho is so scared that he can’t come to the ring and save the thing. He finally charges now that the jacket is destroyed but gets beaten down for his efforts. Jericho gets in a shot to the face and grabs the jacket but runs into Cass on the floor. Cass feeds him into Dirty Deeds and Dean continues to destroy the jacket.
We’re still not done though as Shane and Stephanie…..have nothing to say.
Jericho yells a lot to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. This show just kept going and felt like it would never die. Above all else though: three champions took falls tonight. Three of them. It should be a big deal when one of them gets pinned but instead we’re seeing it happen three times in one night. This show was a very long sit with a bunch of really questionable to flat out bad booking holding it back. I’m not sure where they need to go to fix a lot of these issues, but better choices in who wins what would be a great place to start. This was a really weak show and a big step back for WWE in recent weeks, which you kind of had to know was coming.
Results
Baron Corbin b. Dolph Ziggler – End of Days
R-Truth b. Fandango – Lie Detector
Paige b. Charlotte – Rollup
Sami Zayn b. The Miz – Helluva Kick
Sin Cara b. Rusev – Rollup
Roman Reigns/Usos b. AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows via DQ when Anderson hit Reigns with a chair
Kevin Owens b. Zack Ryder – Pop Up Powerbomb
Dudley Boyz b. New Day – Clothesline to Kingston
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – May 2, 2016: The New Era Of Greatest Hits
Monday Night Raw Date: May 2, 2016
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
We’re past Payback, meaning we have less than three weeks before Extreme Rules with a main event of AJ Styles vs. Roman Reigns II for the World Title. The big story tonight though is the balance of power as Shane and Stephanie McMahon will be running the show together for the foreseeable future. I’m sure this will be fascinating. Let’s get to it.
This week’s recap, narrated for a change, talks about last night’s main event and the announcement of Shane and Stephanie sharing power.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Stephanie, carrying a present, to get things going. Before she can get anywhere though, here’s Shane with 100% less presents. The bickering starts early but Stephanie’s gift is for Shane. It’s…..the the picture of Vince holding Shane as a child that was broken up before Wrestlemania.
Before Shane can talk about his ideas for the night, here’s Kevin Owens to interrupt things. He has an idea of his own: a rematch for the Intercontinental Title. Owens appeals to Stephanie’s business sense and mentions having a contractually obligated rematch. This brings out Cesaro to say that Owens and Zayn cost him the Intercontinental Title last night. Shane makes a #1 contenders match right now.
Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens
Miz and Maryse are on commentary. Cesaro immediately starts with the uppercuts across the ring, followed by another big one on the floor. Back in and Cesaro gets two off the high cross body but Owens goes after the shoulder to take over. The superkick and backsplash get two and it’s time to work on the arm a bit more. A quick strike exchange drops Cesaro but he crotches Owens on top.
Kevin cuts him off again with a Stunner over the top rope, followed by a frog splash off the apron as we take a break. Back with Owens hitting the Cannonball but running into the springboard uppercut. They head outside with Owens grabbing the title but Miz takes it away. That earns Miz an uppercut and it’s time for the champ to run in for the DQ at 11:30.
Rating: C. The match was fun while it lasted but at the same time there’s only so much you can do when you pretty much have a big clock counting down until Miz runs in for the DQ. That kind of stuff gets old quick, especially when this had the potential to be a really fun match between two power guys.
Post match Cesaro gets double teamed until Sami Zayn runs in for the save before holding up the title. This sets up the four way, even though there’s no logical reason for Sami to still be involved after losing last night. If they had gone with the logical move of Sami winning last night, you can still bring in Owens because of the required rematch. That’s too simple for WWE though so we get more illogical storytelling.
Dean Ambrose is in the back with Stephanie, who volunteers to be the guest on the Ambrose Asylum.
R-Truth and Tyler Breeze are in the back talking about selfie sticks (Truth’s has leaves) when Goldust comes in. Goldust insults Breeze a bit and a challenge is issued. Truth doesn’t like Goldust insulting his friend so Fandango comes in to be Goldust’s partner.
Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows say AJ was close to winning last night which makes AJ want it even more. They imply they’ll help in the rematch but Roman Reigns comes in to say he respects AJ but not the other two. The Usos come in and a challenge is made for a six man.
Goldust vs. Tyler Breeze
Fandango and R-Truth are here as the seconds. Truth gives Breeze a headband to start but Goldust knocks it off. Goldust: “WHY DIDN’T YOU EVER GIVE ME ONE OF THESE???” Truth doesn’t notice as he’s playing with the stick, which distracts Goldust enough for Tyler to get in a few shots. They start dancing at each other, allowing Breeze to grab a rollup for the pin at 1:49.
Here’s New Day to talk about their upcoming title defense against the Vaudevillains, who were awarded the match last night after Enzo’s injury. We see a clip of the injury, which seems to be just a concussion. If this wasn’t such a serious moment, Woods would be showing us all the nasty things Beyonce sent to him on Twitter last night…..but unfortunately that didn’t happen. What did happen though was Enzo being released from the hospital after all the other tests were negative.
This brings out the Vaudevillains with Aiden singing about how they’re going to win the titles. Apparently Enzo was the realest guy in the emergency room….and here are the Dudley Boyz to interfere. They say they didn’t see the Vaudevillains win anything last night after the match was ended fast. A fight is about to break out when Big Cass interrupts. He’s tired of hearing about the Vaudevillains taking out his family and the brawl is quickly on.
Dudley Boyz/Vaudevillains vs. New Day/Colin Cassady
Joined in progress with Woods working over Gotch and bringing in Kofi for a kick to the chest. Big E. comes in for the splash before it’s time for the Unicorn Stampede. Kofi gets in a running dropkick in the corner but Bubba kicks Woods in the face to take over. English comes in for a superkick as the heels start taking turns on Woods. A dropkick finally gets Xavier out of trouble, only to have D-Von drop an elbow on his back to stop the tag. The middle rope elbow misses though and there’s the hot tag off to Kofi. Everything breaks down and Kofi gets sent out to the floor in a heap as we take a break.
Back with Kofi still in trouble and Gotch holding him in place for a D-Von elbow drop. Kofi finally dropkicks the Vaudevillains down and it’s off to Cass to clean house. English is sent flying off a fall away slam, followed by a big boot the face. Everything breaks down again with Bubba suplexing Cass, only to have Kofi springboard in to break up 3D. Cass’ East River Crossing puts D-Von away at 14:32.
Rating: B. These guys were actually rolling out there with eight people in a match that made sense. New Day continues to be awesome and should be in for a good match against the Vaudevillains, though I can’t imagine they’ll actually drop the titles. Enzo coming back will get an eruption and the injury makes them feel like even more of an underdog team, which fits in with them so perfectly.
We look back at the main event which set up Styles’ rematch at Extreme Rules.
Now we look at the Montreal Screwjob finish to the Women’s Title match. You all know the Montreal Screwjob. I mean, WWE certainly thinks you do because they’re certainly not going to explain it because they know that every fan, including those under the age of 18, have gone back and looked at every bit of the company’s history ever. We do however get a clip of Charles Robinson as Little Naitch from back in the day to actually explain the screwjob.
Emma vs. Becky Lynch
Apparently they’ve been arguing on Twitter lately. Becky quickly knocks her to the floor and does her head shaking dance, only to get pulled off the middle rope to change control. A butterfly suplex gets two on Becky and we hit a half nelson of all things. Emma sends her hard into the corner for the Emma Sandwich and a near fall. Becky gets all fired up and forearms her in the corner, followed by an exploder suplex for two. A quick poke to the eye slows Becky down though and a Michinoku Driver puts Becky away at 5:45.
Rating: C+. Would it be the worst idea in the world to let some of these other Four Horsewomen win something now and then? I mean, I know we have to wait on Sasha because of….uh, reasons, but do they also have to have Becky losing most of the time? At least it was someone like Emma getting the win and not one of the lower level women but we need to have Becky get a win here or there. Sasha actually wrestling would be nice too.
Greetings From Puerto Rico.
Here’s Dean Ambrose for the Asylum with Stephanie as his guest. Stephanie talks about how happy she is so Dean shows us a shot from Wrestlemania where Reigns speared her. That was the result of Stephanie being overzealous and she does her corporate speech about how awesome WWE is because of loyalty.
Dean goes on a long rant about loyalty and asks how many sacrifices Stephanie has made. I mean, yeah she’s made a ton but Shane has made all of the same sacrifices over the years. That must make Stephanie mad because now she and Shane are exactly the same. Stephanie isn’t happy with this so she cancels the Asylum and brings out Jericho for the Highlight Reel once again. Dean gets in a brawl with him of course but walks into a Codebreaker. Jericho breaks Mitch over Dean’s head in the ultimate act of evil.
Battle Royal
Apollo Crews, Darren Young, Alberto Del Rio, Damien Sandow, Stardust, Titus O’Neil, Zack Ryder, Sheamus, Curtis Axel, Rusev, Dolph Ziggler, Sin Cara, Baron Corbin, Viktor, Bo Dallas,
For the #1 contendership to the US Title and I think I have everyone involved. Kalisto is on commentary and it’s Viktor quickly being eliminated. Sandow is sent out a few seconds later and Crews gets rid of Stardust. Darren gets eliminated and Sheamus Brogue Kicks Crews out for a bit of a surprise.
Someone puts Sheamus out off camera but he slides back in with no issue. Ziggler superkicks Corbin over the top for an elimination but Corbin pulls him outside under the ropes and beats the tar out of him. For a nice change of pace, Corbin is smart enough to throw the half dead Ziggler back in so Rusev can get the official elimination as we take a break.
Back with Sheamus eliminating Titus (great use of his comeback) and Del Rio hitting his double stomp on Axel for a quick elimination. Cara tosses Dallas and we’re down to Cara, Rusev, Del Rio, Sheamus and Ryder. A spinning cross body puts Rusev down and a springboard moonsault does the same to Sheamus and Del Rio.
There’s an Irish Curse to Ryder but not enough for an elimination. Cara makes the eternally stupid mistake of going to the top, allowing Del Rio to shove him out and get us down to four. We’ve got the former League of Nations and Ryder, meaning Sheamus thinks they should join forces again. Ryder gets stomped down but hangs onto the top rope, leaving the League to fight each other.
Del Rio gets in a Backstabber on Rusev but walks into a Rough Ryder. Rusev spinwheel kicks Ryder down though and all four are still in it. The jumping superkick and a regular superkick are enough to get rid of Sheamus, followed by another superkick to send Del Rio to the floor. Ryder puts Alberto out and we’re down to Ryder vs. Rusev, sending the fans into a short lived frenzy. Rusev charges into some knees in the corner and a missile dropkick puts Rusev down. The Broski Boot actually connects but Rusev no sells it and throws Ryder out for the win at 13:38.
Rating: C. This was actually awesome stuff (for a battle royal) with some great drama near the end, even though I’m sick of seeing the League of Nations guys in these spots. Putting the title back on Rusev would make sense as it was his best time ever in the company, but it really does feel like we’re taking a big step back in time if he wins the belt again.
Here are Charlotte and Ric Flair to address the end of last night’s title match. Charlotte really doesn’t see the controversy in the decision so here’s Charles Robinson to explain his actions. Charles says Natalya was screaming to stop it last night and that counts as a submission. Robinson gets a bit confused about whether his admiration for Ric had anything to do with his decision so here’s a CHEATER chant for him.
That’s enough from Charles so here’s Natalya to say this is all about Ric. Well of course it is. I mean, he’s RIC FLAIR. Whether he wants to admit it or not, Bret is the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. Charlotte goes after Natalya but gets sent to the floor, leaving Ric to take off his gear. Natalya slaps him in the face and puts on a Sharpshooter before Charlotte gets her dad out of there. The Flairs leave so Natalay grabs Ric’s Hall of Fame ring and Rolex.
After the announcers shill for WWE, Stephanie makes Charlotte vs. Natalya in a submissions match at Extreme Rules. As a bonus, Ric is banned from ringside. Stephanie’s request for a WOO is denied.
AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows vs. Usos/Roman Reigns
AJ and Reigns get things going with Styles grabbing a headscissors but easily being thrown off. Some kicks to the leg have Reigns in trouble so it’s off to Gallows for a battle of uppercuts. Jey comes in for his running forearm in the corner, only to dive into a big boot for two. It’s time for the big standoff on the floor after Jey is thrown over the top and we take a break.
Back with Anderson hammering away on Jey before it’s off to AJ. The beatdown is on and Styles doesn’t seem to like the idea of his buddies breaking up a tag. The distraction lets Jey get in a superkick to set up the tag off to Reigns. House is quickly cleaned with Roman beating everyone away until Anderson kicks him in the face for two.
AJ gets a blind tag but eats a tilt-a-whirl slam for his efforts. There’s a Superman punch to Gallows but Jimmy comes in off another blind tag with a high cross body for two on AJ. The Boot of Doom into the flapjack sends Reigns into the barricade, leaving AJ to hit the Phenomenal Forearm to the pin on Jimmy at 11:30.
Rating: B-. Another good match here as they let things break down a bit before the ending. I like the idea of the Usos being the lower level guys who can’t keep up with Anderson and Gallows while Reigns is enough to take out any of them but not enough to take out everyone at once. It’s a simple story and the feud is working well but I can’t imagine it ending with anything other than Reigns standing tall again.
Post match Anderson and Gallows give AJ a chair before holding Reigns. AJ can’t do it so the beatdown is on again. The Usos come in and get the chair to knock AJ down (it wasn’t clear if they saw him throw it away). AJ gets back up and hits them with the chair, earning himself a Superman punch. Reigns isn’t done yet though and loads up the announcers’ table for a powerbomb to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was good tonight but it really feels like we’re just heading to Payback II with more McMahons walking us through things. That’s the difference between Shane and Stephanie: Shane seems like he’s telling us what’s going to happen and Stephanie has to explain every single thing to you because you’re not that bright. The show was still entertaining and Extreme Rules is going to be fun but they really need to get to the point with the McMahon stuff, which means we’re likely waiting at least another three months on any major developments.
Results
Cesaro b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Miz interfered
Tyler Breeze b. Goldust – Rollup
New Day/Colin Cassady b. Dudley Boyz/Vaudevillains – East River Crossing to D-Von
Emma b. Becky Lynch – Michinoku Driver
Rusev won a battle royal last eliminating Zack Ryder
AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows b. Usos/Roman Reigns – Phenomenal Forearm to Jimmy
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – April 18, 2016: What’s The English Word For Good Show?
Monday Night Raw Date: April 18, 2016
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
It’s the annual post Wrestlemania European tour so we’re in England for a big change of pace. The show is also taped tonight which can often lead to some less interesting TV. We’re less than two weeks away from Payback where AJ Styles will be challenging Roman Reigns for the WWE World Title. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Dean Ambrose to open things up for the Ambrose Asylum. Dean actually treats it a bit more like a traditional talk show with a joke about a monster in the Thames River (“I didn’t know Braun Strowman could swim.”). He brings out Shane McMahon as his first guest and that means it’s time to dance.
Dean talks about all the crazy stuff he’s done over the years and then shows us a clip of Shane diving off the Cell at Wrestlemania. That made Dean ask what Shane could have been thinking, which Shane sees as a compliment. Shane’s plans are about giving new talent a chance.
Names like AJ Styles, Sami Zayn and Sasha Banks (two of which had title shots at Wrestlemania before Shane was in power of course but that’s just over thinking things) have gotten a chance and that’s why we have arrived. Cue Kevin Owens to ask why Shane threw him out last week. Shane brings up Owens wanting to cost Sami the title shot last week but Owens says that just means he’s an honest man. Sami has been riding his coattails for years now because he’s just not good enough.
This brings out Sami to accuse Owens of trying to stab him in the back, which brings out Chris Jericho for some reason. Jericho and Shane are about to get into it when Dean yells at them to be careful around the plant. Shane makes Jericho vs. Ambrose and Zayn vs. Owens for Payback and it’s nearly a brawl.
Chris Jericho vs. Sami Zayn
Sami cranks on an armdrag into an armbar to start before a back elbow sends him out to the floor. Back in and Sami can’t pull off the corner walk wristdrag as Jericho crotches him to keep control. A dropkick sends Sami outside again and we take a break. We come back with Jericho suplexing Sami on the floor and hitting the chinlock. Some clotheslines and a high cross body put Jericho down so he grabs the bulldog to stop Sami’s comeback.
A quick Blue Thunder Bomb gets two as you can tell these two aren’t exactly going at full speed. Another high cross body is dropkicked out of the air and it’s off to the Walls. Sami makes the rope and gets Jericho outside for the diving tornado DDT. Back in and Jericho pokes him in the eye (becoming the top choice for heels in recent weeks) to set up the Codebreaker for the pin at 12:47.
Rating: C+. Like I said you could tell that they were just doing signature stuff here which is a trademark of these overseas shows. These two could do something very entertaining with more time and less fatigue so we’ll call this more of a “what could have been” than a disappointing match.
AJ Styles is in the back for a chat when Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows come in. Apparently AJ gave them their recommendations to get jobs in WWE and he’s very glad to see them. Gallows wants to go find a spot to catch up because he can’t quite remember their last night in Japan.
Tag Team Tournament Semi-Finals: Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady vs. Dudley Boyz
Enzo says there’s a dud in the Dudley Boyz because they’re a couple of haters instead of a couple of studs. Enzo: “We’re like A-cups because we’re real whether you like us or not.” D-Von and Enzo get things going and we take a very quick break. Back with Bubba slowly beating on Enzo before it’s off to D-Von for a big slam. The middle rope backsplash misses though and the hot tag brings in Big Cass. Some splashes have Cass in control and he shrugs off the reverse 3D. A big boot sets up the Rocket Launcher for the pin on Bubba at 8:35.
Rating: D+. This was a bit disappointing but they were probably smart to just give Enzo and Cass a win. I’m really not sure if they should give Enzo and Cass the tournament as it’s a big jump to have them be Tag Team Champions so soon and you don’t want them to lose their first big match.
Here’s Roman Reigns to a lot of booing for the “I’m the guy” line. Reigns says that anyone who thinks they’re part of this new era of WWE can come out here and get punched in the mouth. The fans call him boring so here’s AJ to interrupt. Styles praises Roman’s talents and admits that he’ll have to have the match of his life to win the title. The thing is that’s what AJ has done to become a champion everywhere.
Reigns is ready to take him apart but AJ says he’ll make a phenomenal champion. Styles leaves and here are Gallows and Anderson to beat Reigns down. AJ didn’t see them at first but does see them lay Reigns out with a running boot/spinning flapjack combination. They leave the ring and join AJ, who doesn’t seem pleased with what he just saw.
Post break Roman is walking through the back when AJ comes up to say that he had nothing to do with that attack. Roman doesn’t buy it after Anderson and Gallows attacked the Usos last week. AJ admits they’ve been friends for a long time but he doesn’t need them to win the title. That’s fine with Reigns who wants it to be one vs. all.
Baron Corbin vs. Fandango
Ziggler is on commentary. Corbin shrugs off the chops and takes it outside where he throws Fandango over Ziggler. A kick to Dolph’s ribs leaves him laying, followed by End of Days to Fandango for the pin at 1:29.
Baron kicks Ziggler in the face and gives him End of Days on the floor.
Greetings from Puerto Rico.
Here are Miz and Maryse for MizTV. Miz insults Prince George, saying he’s plain and simple looking while the Intercontinental Title is perfect. Cue Cesaro to say the only kind of royal that Miz would ever be is a royal pain. The fans call Miz boring so he does a modified monologue from the movie Taken where he promises to beat Cesaro at Payback. Cesaro is ready to fight now and does Roddy Piper’s bubblegum line from They Live, only to have Miz say Cesaro already has a match right now.
Rusev vs. Cesaro
Cesaro sees Del Rio and Sheamus out there but it’s worried because he’s already had a chat with Shane McMahon. Instead, we’ll be having this match.
League of Nations/Miz vs. Cesaro/New Day
To make this even better, Cesaro has a New Day shirt under his suit. We start joined in progress with Woods taking over on Miz and bringing in Kofi for a kick to the chest. The Warrior splash gets two for Big E. and it’s time for some gyrating. Del Rio comes in and gets beaten down as well, setting up a little tromboning. Sheamus gets the tag and stomps Woods down in the corner before knocking him outside as we take a break.
Back with Rusev splashing Woods in the corner and knocking the other good guys off the apron. Woods gets in a tornado DDT and the hot tag brings in Cesaro for the running uppercuts. The uppercuts go outside as well, followed by a high cross body for two on Sheamus. Miz gets in a cheap shot though, allowing Sheamus to hit a sitout powerbomb (that’s a new one for him) for two on Cesaro. We hit the parade of finishers with Big E. hitting the Big Ending on Miz, followed by the Neutralizer for the pin on Sheamus at 13:30.
Rating: C+. This got better at the end but again it was a lot of standing around before we got to the entertaining stuff. New Day and Cesaro is a very fun combination though and beating up the League is an easy layup win. The League needs to go somewhere soon or just split up because you can only beat them so many times before it stops meaning anything.
Charlotte and Ric Flair laugh off Natalya making her tap out last week. Natalya comes in to say she’s getting a rematch at WWE Payback (as opposed to Botswana Payback) where Bret Hart will be in her corner.
Natalya/Becky Lynch/Paige/Sasha Banks vs. Tamina/Charlotte/Summer Rae/Naomi
Charlotte is nice enough to let Summer start with Natalya, who calls Summer pathetic. It’s off to Sasha, who eats an elbow tot he jaw to actually let Summer take over. Everything breaks down and the good women stand tall over the villains as we take a break. Back with Becky throwing Naomi into the corner before eating a superkick from Tamina.
Summer comes back in and chokes in the corner for a bit before handing it off to Naomi for some kicks (thankfully minus the dancing). Becky finally sends Naomi through the ropes, setting up the diving tag off to Natalya. The basement dropkick puts Summer down but she gets in a quick spinning kick to the face. Charlotte comes in as everything breaks down with Natalya getting the Sharpshooter on Charlotte for the submission at 10:45.
Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one but there’s only so much you can do with eight people in there at a time. The key thing here though is they’re keeping this serious and the matches are working much better. This feels like a division with depth instead of the normal two people fighting for the title and a minor side story going on at the same time.
We recap Anderson and Gallows laying out Reigns earlier and AJ saying he had nothing to do with it.
Styles is with Gallows and Anderson again.
Greetings From Puerto Rico.
Tag Team Tournament Semi-Finals: Vaudevillains vs. Usos
Jimmy gets beaten into the corner to start and English slaps on a chinlock. A kick to the head allows for the tag to Jey for some house cleaning. The running Umaga attack hits English and a superkick knocks him out of the air for two. Everything breaks down with Jimmy being sent into the barricade, only to have Jey dive on both of them. Jimmy’s bad shoulder goes into the post though and it’s the Whirling Dervish to send the Vaudevillains to the finals at 3:24.
Rating: D+. Again no time to go anywhere but Vaudevillains vs. Enzo/Cass is the best possible option so this makes sense. It’s not like the Usos need the win so let one of the new teams get a title shot somewhere down the lines. The ending being mostly clean is a good sign too, especially since the Vaudevillains don’t seem to have the longest shelf life.
Video on Apollo Crews.
Heath Slater vs. Apollo Crews
There’s no Adam Rose in sight due to the suspension. Earlier tonight, Crews agreed to join the team if he loses here but they’ll leave him alone if he beats Slater. Crews starts with the AJ Styles dropdown into a dropkick and a delayed vertical suplex for no cover. Slater sidesteps a charge into the corner though and Slater grabs a chinlock to keep control. Back up and Crews moonsaults onto the other Outcasts, followed by a jumping enziguri and the lifting powerbomb to pin Slater at 4:28.
Rating: D+. That chinlock stopped them cold so this could only be so good. Crews finishing the mini feud with the Outcasts is a good idea but now he needs to have a match that actually matters. If nothing else it might help him develop a much needed personality because right now he’s just a smiling goon.
As Crews leaves, Kevin Owens comes out for his match and we get a quick staredown. That’s quite the upgrade for Crews and quite the downgrade for Owens, though to be fair Owens feuds with half the roster most weeks.
Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose
They start slugging it out until Owens elbows him in the face to take over. Ambrose forearms him in the head but the fight quickly goes outside for a real brawl. Owens is sent over the announcers’ table and we take a break. Back with Ambrose getting caught in a chinlock and then being sent out over the top.
A frog splash off the apron crushes Ambrose again but he somehow gets up top back inside. Owens gets knocked to the floor and there’s the standing top rope elbow to put both guys down. Back in and the rebound lariat gets two, only to have Dean run into a superkick for two. The spinning superplex gets the same for Owens but his second frog splash gets two. The Cannonball misses though and Dirty Deeds gives Dean the pin at 17:21.
Rating: B-. Pretty strong main event style match here with both guys trading big shots near the end. I could go without Owens losing another big match as he should definitely lose to Sami at Payback but at least he can bounce back from losses faster than almost anyone else on the roster.
Post match Jericho comes in and gives Dean a Codebreaker to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. The youth movement continues around here and that’s exactly what needed to happen after the really weak Wrestlemania build. AJ vs. Reigns took a nice step up tonight and is starting to feel like something that could be a really strong pay per view main event. The rest of the show was fun as well, despite there being a lack of energy, possibly due to traveling. Raw continues to be on a roll though and that’s a good sign leading into a big pay per view.
Results
Chris Jericho b. Sami Zayn – Codebreaker
Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady b. Dudley Boyz – Rocket Launcher to Bubba
Baron Corbin b. Fandango – End of Days
Cesaro/New Day b. League of Nations/Miz – Neutralizer to Sheamus
Natalya/Becky Lynch/Sasha Banks/Paige b. Charlotte/Tamina/Naomi/Summer Rae – Sharpshooter to Charlotte
Vaudevillains b. Usos – Whirling Dervish to Jimmy
Apollo Crews b. Heath Slater – Lifting powerbomb
Dean Ambrose b. Kevin Owens – Dirty Deeds
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – April 4, 2016: Hitting The Ground Limping
Monday Night Raw Date: April 4, 2016
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole
It’s pretty much New Year’s Day in WWE after everything came to a big conclusion last night. We’re officially in the Roman Reigns Era (part three) and hopefully that means a little break from the Authority. The other interesting thing will be seeing where the McMahons go from here because they’re the real stars of this show. Let’s get to it.
Again I was in the arena for this show so my perspective might be a bit different.
We open with a long recap of Wrestlemania, because what else are they going to start with?
Opening sequence.
The announcers tell us that the crowd is going to be “non-traditional” tonight. Translation: “Please don’t listen to the fans booing Reigns. He’s really AWESOME!” JBL says they’re just having fun. If fun means chanting for the Sheraton Hotel room that came in their travel packages, followed by a TRAVEL PACKAGE chant, I’d rather sign up for misery.
Here’s Vince to get things going and the fans actually sing his theme song. Vince: “Exactly the same chance my son had against the Undertaker!” He brings up Reigns winning the title and the fans are really not pleased. However, as of this morning the lock box is all taken care of, save for explaining what the heck that’s about. Last night was a great night but seeing his grandsons out there with Shane got to him a bit. It almost got to him when Shane climbed the Cell, which of course draws a Shane O’Mac chant.
Vince promises that tonight is a night we’ll never forget and goes to leave but Shane slowly limps out to cut him off. The fans thank Shane but he wants to shake Vince’s hand (“Since I’m the only man in the family.”) because Vince won at Wrestlemania. Shane thanks the fans and goes to leave but Vince cuts him off and blames the fans for what happened last night. Vince cuts him off again and says no one upstages him. He’s often thought how insane it would be to have Shane running Raw…..so let’s see how bad it can get.
Yes Shane is now in charge of Raw, completely negating A MONTH AND A HALF of storylines, along with erasing the point of last night’s Cell match. It’s almost like they booked themselves into a stupid corner with the story and had to find a way out of it while completely throwing logic out the window. This is the kind of nonsense that gets old in a hurry because I basically spent a month and a half trying to make sense of this stuff and then they say “oh never mind because we’re just doing what Vince was so scared of because.” Why? Just because. That drives me crazy but it happens far too often around here.
Here’s New Day for a talk before their title defense. Woods now has a smaller horn for reasons that aren’t likely to be explained. Maybe Vince just lost his mind and felt it should be smaller. The fans do the HEY! WE WANT SOME NEW DAY song before Big E. says things didn’t go according to plan last night.
Kofi did get to twerk with Shawn Michaels but Woods took a Stunner. Woods: “Upon further review of the tape, I have to admit….that it was pretty much my own fault.” However, they now have the last piece of Bootyo’s from last night, which will be playing the role of Simba as Woods hums Circle of Life from Lion King. It’s one of my all time favorites and the fans dug the heck out of that bit.
Tag Team Titles: King Barrett/Sheamus vs. New Day
The challengers come out after a break but first we get to see Lillian dancing with New Day, which she actually did twice. Kofi and Sheamus go into the corner to start as the announcers talk about the Shane story because the Tag Team Titles aren’t interesting enough. Everything breaks down and the League is sent outside, followed by Kofi being launched over the top (complete with fanfare from Woods) for a big crash.
Sheamus gets back up and knocks Kofi off the top for a crash but thankfully Woods is there to reassure him that the Bootyo is magical. Kofi fights back on Barrett but gets kicked hard in the ribs. We take a break and come back with the Wave going on in the background. Even Sheamus gets in on it, which actually causes Woods to get the mic and say if you like the Wave you like Sheamus.
This was the second time he said something like that after he had to get the fans to stop chanting Rocksteady during the break. To his credit, the crowd stopped cold both times so that seems to be the solution to the annoying chants. Kofi kicks Sheamus away and makes the hot tag as the fans are busy chanting about how awesome they are. Big E. starts in with the suplexes and the Warrior splash, followed by a whip to send Barrett into Sheamus. The Midnight Hour retains the titles at 8:45.
Rating: C. The match was fine but I’m sick of seeing these groups fight. There has to be someone else that New Day can fight, even if it’s some pairing of two big heels. The League just isn’t interesting no matter how many times they call themselves the lads or spin their fingers around their heads. New Day is way over but they’re getting into that Edge and Christian territory of having no one to feud with. At least they’re getting a nice long reign out of it though and with those shirts selling as strong as they do, the team isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
Post match Sheamus says he’s had it with all this losing. Every time he looks at one of these losses, he sees one weak link and that’s going to change. That means a Brogue Kick to Barrett, which draws out the Wyatts to destroy the remainder of the League, complete with the fans singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. So there’s the face turn for the Wyatts, though let’s look at this League thing for a minute.
Did Sheamus forget that whole THEY WON AT WRESTLEMANIA part? Barrett knocked Woods silly to set up the win but now he’s kicked out after one loss? As has been proven already, it seems that New Day should have won at Wrestlemania to set this up, especially since they won here like the Wrestlemania match meant nothing. It’s bad storytelling and really should have been fixed before it became a stupid moment.
Vince goes to leave the arena but tells Renee Young that Shane is only in charge temporarily. He’s leaving early because this is going to be a disaster and he doesn’t want to watch the ship go down.
Summer Rae vs. Sasha Banks
Summer actually gets promo time and says if she was in charge of Bad and Blonde last night, they wouldn’t have wound up flat on their faces like Sasha did. Banks is back in the shorts tonight. She grabs the mic away from Summer and reminds us that she is in fact the Boss before slapping Summer in the face. Summer begs off like a heel should and suckers Sasha in to a neck snap across the middle rope. We’re in a chinlock thirty seconds in but Sasha is quickly up with a snapmare and running knees to the chest for two. The Bank Statement makes Summer tap at 1:40.
Shane McMahon is talking to Apollo Crews.
Apollo Crews vs. Tyler Breeze
This is Crews’ main roster debut after only a few months down in NXT. Then again when you have those natural gifts, it’s not expected that you’ll see him in developmental that long. Crews starts fast with a pop up powerslam for two, followed by a suplex from Breeze for the same. We’re already in the chinlock and it would be nice for Crews to at least look….something. He’s just kind of there and ignoring that someone has him in a chinlock. Crews pops up with the gorilla press and standing moonsault, followed by the lifting powerbomb for the pin at 1:52. Typical debut squash.
Clips of Charlotte and Roman Reigns on the Today Show.
Here’s Reigns to open the second hour with even louder booing than the previous night. During the entrance, JBL says Reigns is so happy to finally be on top of the mountain. That would be back on top of the mountain actually because this is his third reign which is supposed to mean more than the first two. The people boo him again but Reigns says he’s not a bad guy. He’s not a good guy either. No he’s just THE guy because he won the World Title in the biggest Wrestlemania of all time. If anyone wants to come get this title from him, he’s not going anywhere.
This brings out Chris Jericho, who brags about all his successes, which are far stronger than anything Reigns has ever done. Jericho stops though and calls out the fans for their stupid chants because they’re not going to hijack the show. Fans: “WE ARE IDIOTS!” Jericho rips on the internet favorite AJ Styles, which brings out Styles himself.
Before he can say anything though, here’s Kevin Owens. Again nothing is said though because Sami Zayn comes out, likely due to his leash to Owens getting a bit too tight. Owens and Zayn go right at it and fight to the floor with Zayn hitting a big flip dive. AJ is sent outside and Jericho eats a spear.
Of note: Zayn seemed to land awkwardly on that flip dive and BOLTED to the back with his arm dangling by his side. He ran off while the lights were down so most people couldn’t see him but it was definitely visible.
We look back at Vince agreeing to let Shane run Raw.
Back from a break and Shane makes a four way between Zayn, Owens, Jericho and Styles for the #1 contendership. Reigns thinks that’s just fine.
Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler
Before the match, Corbin says all you need to know about him is this trophy. Ziggler hammers away in the corner but gets elbowed in the face for his efforts. A forearm knocks Ziggler off the apron and we take a break. Back with Ziggler in a nerve hold and the fans cheering for a beach ball because some nitwit fan felt the need to pull one out and bat it around.
This would be during the Raw debut of an NXT talent that the same people probably begged to be promoted for months while chanting for NXT. I’d also be willing to bet that they’ll blame Vince for not pushing Corbin properly while Vince’s reaction is “they saw him in his first match and would rather play with a beach ball.” BUT THEY’RE JUST HAVING FUN! Anyway Corbin misses a charge and hits the post, setting up a neckbreaker for two. Deep Six gets the same for Corbin and they head outside into the crowd for the double countout at 8:32.
Rating: D+. This was an awkward one as Ziggler was kind of being squashed but is too big of a star for that treatment and tried to fight back but couldn’t make it work. Corbin looked good but I’m not sure why they didn’t just have him get the win here. It’s not like Ziggler can’t bounce back from a dozen losses or anything like that so just give Corbin the big win here. At least he didn’t lost though.
Post match Corbin gives him the End of Days on the floor.
We look back at Lesnar destroying Ambrose last night.
Here’s Zack Ryder with something to say. When Ryder was a kid he got to meet Razor Ramon and hold the Intercontinental Title. Well last night they took another picture with Ramon holding Ryder’s title, which makes for a really good pair of photos. Ryder thanks his dad (in the front row) but here’s Miz to interrupt. Last night Ryder stole what belongs to Miz and now it’s time to show that Ryder is just a flash in the pan. That means it should be time for a title shot right now. Ryder says Woo Woo Woo let’s do this.
Intercontinental Title: Zack Ryder vs. The Miz
Ryder is defending of course. Miz can’t get in an early Reality Check so Ryder dropkicks him for two. A baseball slide sends Miz into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Ryder getting knocked to the floor like the jobber that he is. Ryder fights back with some clotheslines but misses a dropkick, setting up the low DDT for two. The Rough Ryder misses but Ryder counters a suplex with a neckbreaker. I’ve always liked that counter.
The Elbow gets two on Miz but the Broski Boot misses. They head outside in front of Zack’s dad, so as you might expect, Miz is shoved down by Ryder Sr. To be fair, Zack’s dad is in better shape than half the roster. Fans: “MR. RYDER!” This brings out Maryse of all people (Miz’s wife) to slap Papa Ryder in the face, which is enough of a distraction for Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin and the title at 10:26.
Rating: D. Yeah this didn’t work. You can push Ryder as having a big moment all you want but at the end of the day, he’s still the same Zack Ryder who has been a jobbing goon for years now. It would be a stretch to have him beat Miz in the first place and an even bigger stretch to have him beat Miz to retain the title. As I’ve said already though, this was pretty clearly Neville’s spot and he would have fit better, but I’m not sure who else they could have put here, especially if Miz is just getting the title back so soon.
Also of note: Lillian started to get in the ring to announce a match before Miz came out at all. This led to what looked like quite an argument at ringside which went on for a bit between Lillian and a producer.
Owens says he lost the title because he was in the ring with six other guys so the loss was hardly fair. Last night Sami Zayn stole the title from him but now it’s on to bigger and better things, like winning the WWE World Title. Sami cost him the Intercontinental Title last night but he’s not costing him the World Title tonight. The road to KO Mania II begins tonight.
The Vaudevillains are coming on Smackdown.
All of the women including Lita come for the formal presentation of the Women’s Title. Lita talks about not having many role models to look up to as a kid. That’s not the case for the youngest generation today though because this division has never been stronger. Charlotte is introduced but the fans cut her off by wanting some Bayley. She says this title is about all the women in this ring who made this happen and because of all the fans…..who won’t stop singing about how they want Bayley. JBL: “These people are rude.”
Charlotte finally goes with the heel stuff by saying she won the title, but now the fans are on a WOMEN’S WRESTLING chant. The real credit goes to Ric Flair though because she got her here. The energy from the fans fueled her to her victory. It makes her laugh that she hasn’t even been here for a year while some of the less successful women have been here seven or eight years.
Sasha and Becky walk out and the rest of the women follow, save for Natalya. Somehow this turns into an argument over the Harts and the Flairs because that’s still a thing they’re pushing. Also ignore the fact that we just saw Charlotte vs. Natalya and haven’t gotten Sasha vs. Charlotte in a one on one feud yet. Natalya puts her in the Sharpshooter until Ric makes the save.
AJ Styles says it’s a new beginning and the start of a new era. That new era is going to be phenomenal.
Video on Primo and Epico, who really like Puerto Rico. This might actually be a downgrade from Los Matadores.
Usos vs. Dudley Boyz
Tables match. It’s a brawl to start of course and they head outside as JBL talks about his tables matches against Bubba and D-Von. Jimmy gets slammed to set up What’s Up but Bubba won’t do GET THE TABLES. The Usos pop up and dive onto the Dudleyz and we take a break. Back with Jey breaking up a superplex through the table as the fans are almost entirely behind the Dudleyz.
Jimmy dives over a table and onto Bubba with a splash. A double superkick breaks up a double powerbomb attempt, followed by the Usos running the barricade for a double dive. Back in and the Superfly splashes miss but drive the Usos through the tables. Apparently that’s enough to give the Dudley Boyz the win at 8:53, even though it’s long since been established that you have to drive them through a table using an offensive move. They’re not announced as the winners and JBL acknowledges that it was an early bell.
Rating: D. A lot of these matches really aren’t working for me and a lot of that is due to this match not needing to happen. I’d assume we’ll get a third match between them soon enough because the world is waiting on seeing who gets the advantage in a feud that isn’t interesting in the first place. The Usos need a new direction because they’re getting less and less interesting every time they come out.
Sami Zayn says he’s been in every kind of match around the world. He talks about wrestling around the world when Kevin Owens jumps him and gives him a powerbomb through a table.
Post break the Dudleyz are still at ringside yelling…..and here come Enzo and Cass to the pop of the night. Cole: “If you haven’t got a sample of them…..well some would say you’re in for a treat.” The fans start a loud HOW YOU DOIN chant before Enzo talks about being a smack talker skywalker with a lightsaber in his hand. The Dudleyz are still standing in the aisle and Enzo thinks they’re jealous because they’re ugly.
Bubba and D-Von look almost scared at how stupid this sounds but Enzo says he’ll use the gift of jab to knock that lazy eye back into place. Enzo: “Fall back like your hairline!” Cass invites the Dudleyz down for a fight but they back off like true heels. That’s enough for Cass to declare them SAWFT to wrap this up. Yeah the insults were kind of lame but this was all about the delivery and the reaction and these guys look like stars.
Zayn is officially out of the four way but a replacement will be named.
Ryder gets his rematch on Smackdown.
Dr. Phil will be the guest star next week. Why? No reason of course but he’s a celebrity and therefore interesting.
Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles vs. ???
The mystery entrant is……Cesaro, who was the most likely option and very well received by the fans. If nothing else we get a cool new entrance as Cesaro comes out in a tear away suit with trunks underneath. AJ and Jericho fight in one corner with the other two across the ring before it’s off to AJ vs. Cesaro to a very nice reaction. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker drops AJ for two and we take a break.
Back with Jericho suplexing Styles but Cesaro gets back in, only to have Owens break up the Swing. The big guys head outside again as Jericho loads up a superplex on AJ, only to have Owens and Cesaro come back in to make it a Tower of Doom. With everyone else down, Cesaro starts running the corners for European uppercuts, only to have Owens get a boot up. AJ enziguris Kevin but walks into Swiss Death. Jericho clotheslines Cesaro outside but gets jumped by his fellow Canadian.
The package side slam gets two on Jericho, who avoids a Cannonball. The Lionsault hits knees though, only to have AJ hit the springboard 450 for two of his own. Owens gets back again and tells AJ to stay down with his stupid haircut but Cesaro gets back in and sends both of them into the corner for rotating European uppercuts. Jericho takes over a third corner and now it’s time for triple rotating uppercuts.
Chris breaks it up but dives into the Swing as it’s all Cesaro at this point. Owens superkicks AJ to block a springboard and there’s the Pop Up Powerbomb for two on Styles. A Codebreaker gets the same on Owens with Cesaro making the save. Cesaro gets caught in the Walls but he reverses into the Sharpshooter to a big reaction. AJ makes the save with the forearm to Cesaro and Peles Owens to the floor, only to eat a Codebreaker for two. A quick backslide attempt has Jericho in trouble but AJ keeps rolling forward into the Clash for the pin and the title shot at 16:44.
Rating: B+. This match was a blast with four potential winners until Styles pulled off the big surprise pin. I’m not sure where Cesaro goes after this as you would assume Sami vs. Owens for Payback so maybe Cesaro gets Jericho. Styles vs. Reigns could be something interesting if they build it up properly but it could also be a borderline disaster with the fans booing Reigns out of the building.
AJ celebrated for a very long time after the show went off the air.
Overall Rating: B-. I had a good time here, despite some big holes in a lot of what was going on. The Raw after Wrestlemania isn’t about the in ring action but rather all the events that take place. Cesaro returning, Shane taking over Raw (and seems to be more off camera than the Authority, which is already a huge plus) and a bunch of debuts are a good sign and there should be some fun matches going into Payback, even though a lot of them aren’t hard to figure out. This may not have been a great, blow away show but it showed some promise going forward which is all it needed to do.
Results
New Day b. Sheamus/King Barrett – Midnight Hour to Barrett
Sasha Banks b. Summer Rae – Bank Statement
Apollo Crews b. Tyler Breeze – Lifting powerbomb
Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a double countout
Miz b. Zack Ryder – Skull Crushing Finale
Dudley Boyz b. Usos – The Usos went through tables
AJ Styles b. Chris Jericho, Cesaro and Kevin Owens – Styles Clash to Jericho
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
I really don’t want to see this match. I know it’s going to be good and I know the story is good enough but ever since this was put together I’ve felt like it’s nothing I want to see. The Usos are long past their point of being interesting (though they’re still very talented) as their characters really hit a wall, which wasn’t the biggest surprise in the world. The tables stuff has stopped being worth anything either so the whole thing isn’t doing much for me. At least it’s on the pre-show though so it won’t get that much time.
The Usos are going to go over here and much like Jericho vs. Styles, there isn’t much of a reason to think otherwise. The Dudleyz can do whatever they want and are going to stay over so there’s no need to give them a win on this level. I’m sure it’s going to be an entertaining match but it’s really just not something I want to see. That Uso splash looks really cool in person though and the dives will help carry it to entertaining though.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XVII: Here It Comes To Save The Day
Wrestlemania XVII Date: April 1, 2001
Location: Astrodome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman
After putting up with last year’s mess, this is my reward. Many people including myself consider this to be the greatest wrestling show of all time and I can’t say I argue that point whatsoever. It’s a four hour spectacular headlined by the main event to end all main events for this era: Austin vs. Rock II for the world title. Other matches on the card include HHH vs. Undertaker for the first time along with TLC II, Angle vs. Benoit and Vince vs. Shane to FINALLY end their drama. I’m getting antsy now so let’s get to it.
The opening video is a history of Wrestlemania along with shots of people around the world watching it. This includes a couple watching it in the back of a car. What kind of a portable TV can get a PPV feed? Anyway this is an awesome video that makes Wrestlemania seem like a worldwide event that everyone can get into. That’s an awesome idea and the video makes it work.
Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal
Jericho is defending and this is a result of him not liking Commissioner Regal’s regime. Basically he thinks Regal is boring and therefore relieved himself in Regal’s teapot. Regal responded by having the RTC and the Dudleys beat up Jericho on various nights. Jericho came back by dressing up by Doink for no apparent reason and putting Regal in the Walls of Jericho.
Regal pounds away to start but Jericho forearms him out to the floor. There’s a big dive by the champion to take Regal down before he drops Sweet Willy B on the barricade. Back inside and a jumping back elbow off the top puts Regal down again before they head to the mat. Jericho tries for the Walls but Regal escapes and sends the still injured shoulder (from the aforementioned beatdowns) of Jericho into the post. A quick suplex gets two for Regal and it’s back to the arm.
Jericho comes back with an elbow but Regal takes him down with a rollup for two more. Another suplex puts Jericho down again but Regal can’t keep him down. The fans start cheering for Jericho as Regal takes off a turnbuckle pad. The referee is ok with this for some reason as Jericho’s shoulder goes into the steel. Jericho comes back with a pair of enziguris before a middle rope missile dropkick gets two.
Jericho misses a charge in the corner and nearly hits the post head first. In a surprising move, Regal goes up top for a butterfly superplex which gets a delayed two. Jericho trips the legs and tries the Walls again but the shoulder gives out, allowing Regal to hook the Regal Stretch (STF with a half nelson) but Jericho makes the rope. Jericho fights back again but gets kicked in the shoulder, only to send Regal into the exposed buckle and hit the Lionsault to retain. That was a really sudden ending and JR sounded surprised so maybe it was called on the fly.
Rating: B-. This was exactly what an opener was supposed to be: fast paced, hard hitting and it told a good story. They beat on each other for seven minutes straight with nothing of note looking bad. The idea of the shoulder injury was a perfectly fine story to keep the match going and the Regal Stretch worked for a climax. This was a really good opener and it hit every point it was supposed to hit.
Shane McMahon in his WCW-1 limo shows up. He bought WCW on Monday, setting the stage for the Alliance.
Bradshaw is worried about Taz not being here for their match so he goes on one heck of a rant about how awesome Texas is before going on about how THIS IS WRESTLEMANIA.
Right to Censor vs. APA/Taz
The RTC is a censorship group with Val Venis, Goodfather and Bull Buchanan with Steven Richards outside. They censor stuff, the other three don’t like it, let’s fight. Oh and Jackie is with the good guys but no one cares about her. It’s a big brawl to start with the RTC getting destroyed very quickly. We start with Faarooq vs. Buchanan with Bull hitting the climb the rope clothesline for an early two. Off to Taz who gets kicked in the head and triple teamed by RTC.
Venis comes in with some knees to the ribs for two before it’s off to Goodfather. He continues the destruction of Taz including the non-Ho Train for no cover. There’s the hot tag to Bradshaw as the beating shifts. Venis gets caught in the fallaway slam as everything breaks down. A double spinebuster crushes Venis and there’s a belly to back superplex for good measure. Goodfather misses a charge in the corner and Bradshaw kills him dead with the Clothesline for the pin.
Rating: C-. This is pretty easily the worst match of the show and it’s certainly not bad at all. This was short and almost sweet which is what it was supposed to be. The idea here was to have the censors get beaten up by the Texan and give the fans a good feeling which is exactly what happened. Not a good match or anything but it’s completely watchable.
Trish wheels in the comatose Linda to be in attendance for Vince destroying Shane later. Your McMahon Drama Recap of the Night: Vince is screwing Trish while Linda has been medicated to the point where she can’t move while Stephanie is being Daddy’s Little Girl. Stephanie tells Trish to be ready for the celebration post match and Trish is perfectly fine with this. Yep, perfectly.
Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Big Show vs. Kane
Raven is defending and brings out a shopping cart of goodies with him. Before Show is here, Raven tries to jump Kane for no apparent reason. My guess would be drug related mental issues but that’s just speculation. Show makes the LONG walk down the aisle, only to have Raven tossed over the top rope and down onto him. Raven is easily caught so Kane dives off the top and takes them both out, getting two on Kane.
We head into the crowd with Show never getting into the ring and the brawl is on. Bird Boy’s philosophy seems to be let the monsters brawl and sneak in some shots where he can. A street sign to Kane’s head staggers him, only for Kane to throw Raven nearly through a wall. Show chases Raven away and tries to lock themselves into a kind of storage area. Kane will have none of that and breaks the door down to keep beating up Big Show.
Raven tries to choke Kane with a gardening hose but Kane basically lassos him with it before throwing Raven through the window of a small office. Show knocks Kane through the office door before they brawl through the wall between the offices. Raven stomps away before stealing a golf cart, only to have Big Show jump on the back.
Kane steals one of his own and brings the referee along on the chase. According to Raven, there was supposed to be a chase scene around the arena but it never happened. Also they almost hit some cables that would have cut the power to the entire stadium, which would have been awesome and awful at the same time. They fight to the catering area and the Snapple is destroyed, much to Heyman’s chagrin.
Now we head back up the steps to the stage where Kane goes nuts on Big Show, only to get clotheslined back down. Show loads up a gorilla press on Raven but Kane kicks them both off the stage. A legdrop from Kane onto Show is enough for the pin and the title in a crushed part of the set.
Rating: C+. This is a fun hardcore match with the cool brawling spots mixed with the fun and goofy stuff which is how you make for a good hardcore match. These kind of matches were rare, but for the most part this was a more serious kind of Hardcore Title match, which usually makes things better. Kane would hold the title for awhile before it fell back into the goofy style.
Angle tells Edge and Christian that he didn’t tap out to Benoit because there wasn’t an official bell or an official referee, so it wasn’t an official tap out. The Canadians slowly walk away.
Jimmy Snuka is at WWF New York.
A fan from Australia is here. That’s rather cool.
The Rock arrives, 40 minutes into the show.
European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Test
Test is defending and Eddie has the Perry Saturn with him. Eddie tries to jump him to start but gets thrown around by the pure power of the champion. A spinning powerbomb gets two for Test and they head to the floor almost immediately. Back in and Eddie gets in a shot to take over before pounding away in the corner. The champion comes back with a clothesline for two before heading up top.
While up there though Test has to counter a hurricanrana before hitting a jumping back elbow to the face for two. A big boot from the champion misses Eddie though, causing Test’s ankle to be caught in the rope. The match has to stop for a second to get him loose because Eddie can’t pin him while in the ropes. Eddie stomps away on the leg on the floor a bit before heading back inside to work on it in the ring.
Off to a sleeper by Guerrero now as the fans seem to be getting a bit bored. Test fights out of it after a few moments and hits the tilt-a-whirl slam to put both guys down. Another tilt-a-whirl ends in a powerbomb for two for Test but Eddie kicks him low to break up a full nelson slam. Saturn slips in while the referee is yelling at Eddie for the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza (a swinging neckbreaker), giving Eddie a two count.
Test gets back up and hits a pumphandle powerslam for two before kicking Saturn’s head off. Eddie gets kicked as well but they have to wait for Dean Malenko to come down for his run-in, causing a stupid looking (fits Test perfectly) pause. As Test beats up Dean, Eddie gets the title belt and hits the champ with it for the pin and the title.
Rating: D+. Again, if this is the worst match I have to watch, I’m going to be perfectly fine with this. Test was fine here with Eddie doing almost all of the work and making things as simple for Test as possible. It’s pretty dull stuff but another Texan winning isn’t going to hurt things at all, especially with it just being for the lower midcard title.
Mick Foley promises to call the street fight fairly.
Austin is here, 55 minutes late.
Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit
On his way to the ring, Angle rips on Texas for various reasons, primarily the lone star flag. Oh and cowboy hats are stupid. This match was made on Raw because neither guy had anything to do for Wrestlemania. It’s as simple as it sounds, but do you need anything more than that for this pairing? Angle still insists that he didn’t tap out to Benoit on Raw. Heyman: “This is as excited as a man can get with his clothes on.”
Angle takes it to the mat to start which is fine with Benoit as the struggle begins. Benoit sits out and it’s a standoff, drawing a nice ovation from the crowd. It worked so well before that they do it again, drawing a bigger ovation this time. Angle hits a kind of suplex to take it to the mat for a third time but Benoit sits out again as they fight for position. They roll into the ropes for another break and the fans are pleased yet again.
Benoit takes it to the mat again and tries the Crossface, sending Angle into the safety of the ropes. Kurt bails to the floor for a breather as he isn’t sure what to do with Benoit here. Back in and Angle has to get to a rope to escape another Crossface attempt. Angle blasts Benoit with a right hand to shift the style and momentum here as they head outside. Benoit goes first into the announce table and shoulder first into the steps to keep Kurt in control.
Back in and Angle gets two off a belly to back suplex. A belly to belly gets no cover by Kurt and neither does the second one Angle hits in a row. Benoit comes back with a clothesline as the only advantage of the match so far is gone. Benoit starts slugging away in the corner before hitting a knee to Angle’s ribs. A back elbow to Angle’s face gets two as does a snap suplex ala Dynamite Kid. Benoit follows up with a superplex and holds his neck afterwards. He would be about three months from neck surgery that put him out for over a year.
Speaking of neck injuring suplexes, Benoit rolls some Germans but Angle rolls through the third one into the ankle lock. Benoit escapes that into an ankle lock of his own for good measure. The stealing finishers was one of Angle’s major deals so this shouldn’t be a surprise. Benoit tries the Crossface but Angle blocks it from going on full. Angle puts Benoit in the Crossface for good measure but Benoit gets a foot on the ropes.
Angle accidentally charges into the referee, just before Benoit puts Angle in the Crossface for an unseen tap out. Benoit releases the hold and gets caught in the Angle Slam for two. Angle’s moonsault hits Benoit’s knees, allowing Benoit to go up for the Swan Dive. That gets two, but Angle rolls through and hooks the tights for the win.
Rating: B+. It’s Angle vs. Benoit at Wrestlemania. Did you expect this to be anything less than awesome? This wasn’t as good as their masterpiece at the 2003 Rumble, but it would be a match of the year candidate on any other show. That’s what you expect from these two though, and this is an excellent match that is overshaddowed by the rematches they would have later.
William Regal is annoyed at Michael Cole but walks into his office to see Kamala standing on his desk and rubbing the picture of Queen Elizabeth on his stomach. It’s as disturbing as it sounds.
We get a video from the Wrestlemania pep rally at Fort Hood in Texas with a bunch of wrestlers and Divas. There was a parade and the commander got a chair. The WWE people got plaques and Lita looks so unimpressed it’s unreal. Angle of course would rather have a medal. This was pretty cool.
Angle says he won but Benoit jumps him and puts on another Crossface, making Kurt tap again.
We recap Chyna hurting her neck and then coming back as a Playboy cover girl. This doesn’t sit well with the RTC, who injured her neck in the first place. Tonight it’s Ivory vs. Chyna for the Women’s Title again, but this is more about revenge than the title.
Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory
For one of the only times ever, Chyna looks great here. Ivory holds the belt to her face before the bell, but the referee is shoved away to let Ivory hit Chyna in the back with said title. Ivory gets in a few more shots but Chyna catches a boot in the corner. The destruction begins and Ivory is beaten down in the corner. A powerbomb kills Ivory dead but Chyna pulls her up at two. Instead it’s a gorilla press slam for the pin and the title. Chyna would bail on the company about a month later without ever losing the title.
Vince gives Trish some instructions about Linda tonight, making sure that Linda won’t be brought out until Shane is totally immobile. Cole comes in to ask about Monday night so Vince promises something shocking tonight.
We recap Vince demanding a divorce from Linda while openly having an affair with Trish. Linda had a breakdown so Vince had her medicated to the point that she was basically a vegetable. Shane returned to destroy Vince and challenged him to a match at Wrestlemania. Vince said ok but there were bigger things to take care of.
On March 26, Vince appeared on Nitro saying that he had bought his competition. At the end of the broadcast though, Shane appeared as well, saying that he had bought WCW when Vince had waited too long. Vince had wanted to sign the contracts here at Mania, allowing Shane to swoop in and steal it. I’m thinking that’s not legal, but it’s wrestling so how much sense does it need to make?
Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon
This is a street fight of course with Mick Foley as guest referee. Shane has some WCW “stars” in a private box. You can see Shawn Stasiak, Stacy Keibler and I think Bobby Eaton up there. Stephanie is here with Vince but Trish and Linda are being saved for later. Vince slaps Shane and we’re ready to go in a hurry. Shane gets pounded down in the corner but comes back with a spear and a bunch of elbow drops.
Stephanie gets in the ring and slaps Shane in the face, causing a chase sequence. Shane stops to hit Vince in the head with a sign before beating him over an over in the back. A clothesline off the barricade puts Vince down again before Shane whips him into the barricade. Shane blasts him in the back with a kendo stick over and over before peppering him with left jabs and a big right cross. Other than the brief flurry to start this is all Shane.
A monitor shot to Vince’s head knocks him out so Shane can put him on the announce table. For the big spot of the match, Shane loads up the top rope elbow through the table but Stephanie pulls Vince away, sending Shane crashing through the table. Here come Trish and Linda with Linda completely sedated. Vince wakes up and sees them there so Trish helps him to his feet, with an AMAZING cleavage shot.
Trish surprises everyone by slapping Vince, turning face in the process. Stephanie goes after Trish, triggering a catfight in the ring. Mick pulls Stephanie off of Trish, only to get slapped in the face for his efforts. Stephanie runs from Trish and does the worst looking fall in the history of bad looking falls to let Trish catch up before leaving the arena. Back at ringside Vince wakes up and calls his wife a very bad name but Foley stops any potential domestic violence. Vince is fine with that and blasts Mick in the back with a chair.
The oldest McMahon puts Linda into the ring as Shane is still out cold. Linda is sat in the corner of the ring in a chair as Vince throws Shane back into the ring. Now it’s time for four garbage cans to be thrown in as well so Shane can get beaten up yet again. Vince picks up the third can but as he takes too long, Linda stands up to an ERUPTION from the crowd. She kicks Vince between the legs to stun him, allowing Foley to come in and beat the tar out of the owner of the company. Mick knocks Vince down in the corner and Shane hits the Coast to Coast dropkick, sending a garbage can into Vince’s face for the academic pin.
Rating: B. All things considered, this was excellent. This is what you call intricate storytelling with at least five feuds/stories (Vince vs. Shane, Vince vs. Mick, Vince vs. Linda, Stephanie vs. Linda, Trish’s turn) being blown off in one single match. On top of that, the match wasn’t that bad with some decent bumps considering that they’re both non-wrestlers. The drama was the key here though and it worked REALLY well.
The Hardys aren’t sure if any of the three teams will ever be the same after TLC II.
HHH and Undertaker are getting ready. To this day I still want one of those X7 baseball jerseys. They were AWESOME.
Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian
The Dudleys are the champions coming in. There’s no story to it, but was there ever to one of these things? Edge and Christian get double teamed to start and the Dudleyz hit a double flapjack on Christian. Both sets of Boys fight in the corner with Jeff hitting Poetry in Motion on both at once. Cue Edge and Christian again with the ladder before Edge brings in a chair. The Canadians put Matt in the Tree of Woe and stand on his crotch. No wonder Lita left him for Edge.
Edge stats to climb but Matt makes the stop and goes up himself. That goes badly for him of course as Edge uses the chair as a stepping stone to take Matt down with a clothesline. Jeff dropkicks Edge off the ladder before joining with his brother to dropkick a ladder into the Dudleys’ faces. There are two ladders in the ring now in opposite corners. Christian is slammed down and hit with a stereo splash/legdrop from the Hardys. The Dudleys are back in now and there’s What’s Up.
It’s Table Time with Edge being placed on the first one, but Jeff tries a hurricanrana to Bubba, only to be powerbombed through Edge through the table. This is nonstop action so far. The Dudleys set up four tables at ringside as Paul tells us of Big Daddy Dudley’s construction company in Dudleyville. Currently there’s a table in the corner and three ladders in the ring. Bubba picks up a ladder and CRACKS Matt in the head with it before setting it up next to the other two. All three are set up in a row in the middle of the ring so here’s a six way climb.
Matt and Christian go flying first with Matt landing on the ropes and Christian falling all the way to the floor. Jeff and D-Von fall into the opposite ropes and Edge and Bubba fall backwards, to put all six guys down. Edge is the only one halfway standing and Christian sets up a table on the floor. Bubba dumps a ladder to the floor to clear the ring out a bit as Spike Dudley, Bubba and D-Von’s cousin, runs in. He hits Edge low and puts Christian through a table with the Dudley Dog off the apron.
Edge and Christian’s friend Rhyno runs in and destroys everyone in sight before sending Edge up the ladder to get the belts. Cue Lita to jerk Edge off. The ladder. Anyway with the thong sticking WAY out, Rhyno picks her up but gets hit low by Spike. Lita goes up for a rana on Rhyno and Spike cracks him in the head with a chair, sending Rhyno into the ladder, knocking Edge into the ropes. A Doomsday Device puts Rhyno down again but Lita CRACKS Spike in the head with a chair. She then takes off her top, giving us the biggest pop of the night. Not that it matters as she walks into a 3D and is now done for the match.
The Canadians come back in with chairs to take the champions out before Christian brings out the huge ladder. It’s on the floor but it’s still taller than the ones in the ring. Jeff, ever the crazy man, goes ALL THE WAY to the top and hits a Swanton onto Spike and Rhyno (read as Rhyno barely gets hit and Spike takes every bit of it). The super ladder is set up in the ring now and it’s a race between D-Von and Christian. Matt moves the ladder away, leaving both guys hanging from the cord holding the belts.
Both guys fall down, but Jeff gets up on a regular ladder and tries to walk on the other small ladders like a tightrope. Jeff loses his balance though and has to hang from the cord as well. Bubba grabs the ladder and walks away with it while Jeff’s feet are still in it, pulling Jeff’s body back. The feet pull away and Jeff swings forward, right into a spear from Edge off the super ladder, drawing a BIG gasp from the crowd. That’s the spot that made everyone realize Edge was going to be something VERY special.
Matt and Bubba go up on the super ladder, but Rhyno shoves it over, sending them crashing through the four tables at ringside. D-Von goes up now but Edge grabs his feet, allowing Rhyno to give Christian enough of a boost to beat D-Von to the top and get the titles, finally ending this carnage.
Rating: A+. If you’re looking for pure insanity and non-stop violence, this is the pinnacle of the genre. These nine people went for over fifteen minutes and never once stopped beating on each other. The spots are insane and the big spots still have you in awe. This match holds up incredibly well and is just as impressive as it was twelve years ago. Absolute masterpiece that blows away every MITB match that I can remember.
Video on Axxess. I need to go to that someday.
We get the all time attendance record announcement: 67,925. That’s AWESOME.
Now for the fun part of the show to give the fans a chance to breathe. Here are MEAN FREAKING GENE OKERLUND and Bobby Heenan to do commentary for the next match.
Gimmick Battle Royal
Luke, Butch, Duke Droese, Iron Sheik, Earthquake, The Goon, Doink, Kamala, Kimchee, Repo Man, Jim Cornette, Nikolai Volkoff, Michael Hayes, One Man Gang (He couldn’t fit into the Akeem gear), Gobbledy Gooker (complete with video from Survivor Series 1990), Tugboat, Hillbilly Jim (biggest reaction of the entrants), Brother Love, Sgt. Slaughter
Take eighteen of the goofiest gimmicks of all time, throw them in a match, have fun. I thought this was awesome when I was 13 and it’s still awesome to this day. The entrances take nearly three times longer than the match but that’s beside the point. Repo Man is put out in about two seconds as is the Gooker. Quake puts Tugboat out before Kamala throws him out as well.
People are thrown out right and left with Doink being eliminated to a chorus of booing. The final four are Brother Love, Slaughter, Hillbilly Jim and the Sheik. Within about 12 seconds it’s down to Sheik and Jim with Sheik winning because he can’t go over the top to the floor. This was like three minutes long and it worked just fine all things considered. Slaughter puts Sheik in the Cobra Clutch post match.
We recap HHH vs. Undertaker. HHH beat Austin at No Way Out and then said there was nobody left for him to beat, so here came the Dead Man. HHH jumped him from behind and choked him with a chair a week later. Taker came back with a pipe, earning himself a restraining order from Stephanie.
There was no restraining order against Undertaker’s brother Kane though, so he kidnapped Stephanie and threatened to throw her off a balcony unless Taker got a one on one match with HHH at Wrestlemania. HHH responded by destroying Undertaker’s motorcycle. Taker called the ring his yard, giving HHH the great line of “Your yard is in the middle of his world.” This was the match I was looking forward to more than any other on the card.
HHH vs. Undertaker
Taker gets to do his long bike ride down the aisle, meaning he can speed it way up, which looks pretty awesome. I use that word a lot in this but it’s true. The fight starts on the floor with HHH losing a slugout. They break ANOTHER Spanish announce table with Taker still pounding away. We get in the ring for the opening bell where HHH hitting the jumping knee to the face. Taker has no interest in selling that though and pounds on HHH in the corner even more.
A big backdrop puts HHH down as do some clotheslines in the corner. Taker powerslams the Game down and there’s the jumping clothesline to do it again. HHH breaks up Old School though and hits a neckbreaker for two. A few elbows to Taker’s neck have him in even more trouble and there’s a neckbreaker for two. See what psychology is like? It’s not that hard. Taker comes back with rapid fire punches but gets caught in a facebuster.
HHH goes to the floor and gets the sledgehammer but the referee takes it away from him. Instead HHH loads up a Pedigree but gets catapulted into the referee, crushing him in the process. There’s a chokeslam to HHH but the referee is slow to count, meaning it only gets two. Taker beats up the referee to knock him out cold before throwing HHH out to the floor. HHH is backdropped into the crowd and the brawl is on. Taker punches him up to the tech area which is a very rare sight.
HHH tries to climb away to escape, but he climbs up higher and higher. Taker catches him anyway and pounds him in the head before sending him up to the next level. HHH finds a chair and blasts him ten straight times about the head and body. He loads up another shot to the head but Taker grabs him by the throat and chokeslams HHH off the tower onto something we can’t see. It winds up being a crash pad but the throw looked GREAT. Taker wants more and drops an elbow off the tower down onto HHH for good measure.
Before HHH can be taken to the back by EMTs, Taker beats him up even more and even knocks down the medics. We head back to the ring where the referee hasn’t moved for six minutes and hasn’t been looked at whatsoever. Back to the ring with HHH basically dead. Taker picks up the sledgehammer but HHH kicks him low to save his life. A big boot to the face of HHH takes him down though and it’s time for a slugout.
HHH loads up a Tombstone but since he’s not Kane (or Sid apparently, Taker easily counters into one of his own. There’s STILL no referee though as he’s been out cold for ten minutes (from a kick in the back and an elbow drop mind you). Taker finally shakes him back to life before loading up the Last Ride. HHH grabs the sledgehammer though and knocks Undertaker silly with it…..for two. I lost my mind on that kickout back in the day.
Taker is busted open and HHH is having a fit. The Game pounds away at the cut in the corner but makes the fatal mistake of going to the middle rope for more leverage, allowing Taker to grab the Last Ride to plant HHH and make himself 9-0 at Wrestlemania. Taker lays on the ropes after the match and the shot of him busted open but smiling is sweet.
Rating: A. This is one of the great matches that no one talks about for various reasons ranging from their rematches to the match that immediately followed it. It’s absolutely great though with both guys beating the tar out of each other and some excellent drama on the near falls. This was the match that made sure you knew Taker was still a player while keeping HHH strong at the same time. Great fight.
Some fan won a contest here because of a poster.
As JR says, the time is upon us.
We recap Austin vs. Rock II which is summed up by one line from Austin: “The fact is Rock, you got the WWF Title and I want it.” This is backed up by the mother of all hype videos, set to My Way by Limp Bizkit. I’m not a fan of their music but this video is AMAZING. Debra was originally involved but thankfully that was dropped after about eight seconds. This was the best kind of build there was: take two superstars who seemingly cannot lose and put them together in a title match. These two beat on each other for months on end until this night arrived.
WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock
Heyman says this is the match that both men need to win and neither man can afford to lose. Right before the entrances, Fink tells us that this is now No DQ, which is a surprise to everyone. Austin’s pop is awe inspiring as the face absolutely lose their minds at his entrance. Rock gets a VERY mixed reaction as Austin is a folk hero here in Texas. The brawl is on immediately and Austin hits the Thesz Press and middle finger elbow, only to be taken down by a swinging neckbreaker. The Rock Bottom and Stunner are countered and Austin throws Rock to the floor. We’re maybe 45 seconds in at this point.
They fight into the crowd with Rock taking over with more right hands. Back to ringside with Austin hitting a clothesline to put Rock down before adjusting his knee brace for a bit. They’re back in the ring now with Austin hitting a running crotch attack in 619 position followed by a superplex for the first two count of the match. Austin takes off the turnbuckle pad and pounds away to A LOT of booing from the crowd. A back elbow gets two for Rock before he clotheslines Austin to the floor.
They fight over to the announce table with Austin coming back with a bell shot to the face. Rock is knocked onto the announce table which breaks a few seconds later. We head back inside for Austin to pound away to even more pops from the crowd. Rock comes back with right hands but Austin drops both him and a leg for two. Rock is busted open and Austin chokes away in the corner. Austin stops to yell at the referee and gets his head taken off by a lariat from Rock.
The champion pounds away with right hands before getting the bell. It goes upside the head of the also bloody Austin but only gets two. We’re at the point now where the pinfall attempts get more and more intense. Rock keeps pounding away but Austin won’t stay down. Back to the floor with Austin firing off more fists as JR is in all his glory calling it. A slingshot sends Rock head first into the post and man did he BOUNCE off that thing. Back inside and Rock scoops the legs for the Sharpshooter in a call back to WM 13 where Austin is dripping blood while in the hold. He makes the rope this time though and we keep going.
Rock flips Austin off, earning himself a Sharpshooter from Austin. Well there’s a twist. It’s a terrible Sharpshooter but it gets the job done. Rock powers out though with blood dripping in between his teeth, again ala Mania 13. Back to the Sharpshooter on Rock but he makes the rope this time to escape again. Austin busts out the Million Dollar Dream of all things and the bloody Rock is in trouble. Rock fights up though and we get another callback to a Bret vs. Austin masterpiece with Rock climbing the rope and backflipping onto Austin for two, making him break the hold in the process.
Out of nowhere Rock hits a Stunner on Austin but he can’t follow up. It eventually gets two…and here’s Vince. Austin’s whip spienbuster gets two but he walks into one by Rock which sets up the People’s Elbow. Vince breaks it up though by pulling Rock off Austin, earning himself a death stare from the champion. Now we know something is afoot given the history between Vince and Austin. Rock chases Vince but runs into a Rock Bottom from Austin for another very close two.
The Stunner is countered and Hebner is knocked to the floor, allowing Austin to hit a low blow. Vince brings in a chair and clocks Rock with it on Austin’s instructions, getting another delayed two count. Now the fans are cheering for Rock a lot more but aren’t as pleased when Rock hits a Rock Bottom out of nowhere. Vince gets pulled into the ring for a beatdown but it’s a Stunner to Rock for only two. That probably should have been the finish, but instead Austin gets the chair and gives Rock the mother of all beatdowns with it, hitting him SIXTEEN TIMES. Rock is DEAD and Austin covers the body for the pin and the title.
Rating: A+. Yes there’s kind of weak ending, yes there were some lame points, but it’s Rock vs. Austin II for the world title in the main event of Wrestlemania. This is a masterpiece by definition alone. I think I might be the only person on the planet that likes this turn still, but it was in front of the wrong crowd. If this was ANY other state in the country it would have been booed like there was no tomorrow, but instead gets cheered, which is where the problem came from. Still though, excellent match and worthy of being the main event of the greatest show ever.
Vince and Austin shake hands, officially ending the Attitude Era. Beer is consumed and Rock is hit with the belt one more time for good measure.
Overall Rating: A++. It’s the greatest show of all time. Normally I would say if there was a rating higher than an A+ it would get that, so now there’s a rating of A++ for this show and this show alone. With a mind blowing four matches at B+ or higher and absolutely nothing bad at all, how can this not be the best show ever? I’ve seen this show several dozen times and it doesn’t get old no matter how many times I see it. It’s still excellent and needs to be seen by all fans.
Wrestlemania XVI Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 18,034
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
This is also called Wrestlemania 2000 but the purist in me won’t let that happen. This is a step up over last year’s one match show as this year we have a two match show. The main event is a fatal fourway elimination match between HHH, the Rock, Big Show and the one night only returning Mick Foley. The other match is Angle vs. Benoit vs. Jericho in a two fall double title match. You might notice a few multi-man matches there and you’re going to notice a lot of them tonight. There isn’t a single one on one match on the entire card tonight, which might be the only time ever in company history. Let’s get to it.
Lillian Garcia sings the national anthem. I’ve heard her do this live and my goodness can she sing the heck out of that song.
We open with a recap of the previous 15 Wrestlemanias which sounds like it’s narrated by a James Earl Jones impersonator.
Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan
Ice-T raps Godfather and Brown to the ring. Apparently it’s pimp or die, which I think might be taking it a bit too far. Buchanan and Brown get things going to prevent us from having a future RTC matchup. D’Lo tries a quick O’Connor Roll but only gets two. Boss Man tries to come in but gets run over by Godfather. Off to Godfather for a clothesline and the spinning legdrop but an elbow misses.
Godfather gets beaten on for a bit but comes back with a hook kick for two. Back to Brown who is almost immediately caught by Buchanan for even more pain. D’Lo pounds on Buchanan in the corner as this is going nowhere so far. Of all people, Bull gets things moving a bit better by climbing the corner for a spinning clothesline. Bull puts him in 619 position and both heels slide under the ropes for a double uppercut.
A clothesline gets two more for Bull and everything breaks down for a few seconds. That goes nowhere so we go back to Buchanan pounding on Brown in the corner. Now we keep the excitement going with a bearhug. Boss Man comes in for some double teaming and does his best to get the fans to care at all.
Brown’s cross body is caught in a backbreaker for two from both guys but as Buchanan goes up, Godfather crotches him down. Brown comes back with a nice top rope rana to put Buchanan down on the mat, allowing for the hot tag to Godfather. House is cleaned and there’s the Ho Train to Boss Man. Bull breaks up the Low Down though, allowing the Boss Man Slam to set up a guillotine legdrop on D’Lo for the pin.
Rating: D+. Who in the world thought this was the right idea for an opening match? They were WAY off base with each other here and the match suffered a lot as a result. This didn’t work on almost any level and on top of all that, the popular team loses. The whole point of an opening is to fire up a crowd, so having one of the most over acts in the company lose was a dumb way to start things off. Just a bad match all around.
HHH and Stephanie talk about how awesome their titles are. She’s Women’s Champion if that wasn’t really clear.
We see a conference with the Hardcore Battle Royal participants. Basically it’s a huge free for all and not a traditional battle royal. There’s a fifteen minute time limit and there can be as many title changes as there needs to be. Basically whoever is the last man standing is champion and the 24/7 rule stops after the last fall.
Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal
Tazz, Crash Holly, Hardcore Holly, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Thrasher, Mosh, Faarooq, Bradshaw
Crash is defending coming in. He comes in last and we’re ready to go. Remember there’s a fifteen minute time limit. Everyone else fights to the floor and Taz hits a fast suplex on Crash for the pin ad the title in thirty seconds. So now, only Taz can be pinned for the title. A few seconds later, Viscera hits Tazz with a board and gets the title. Now we move into an extended period of hitting people in the head with whatever objects are handy.
We’ve got thirteen and a half minutes or so to go. Someone uses a box fan on someone else and that’s about the most in depth coverage you’ll be getting here. Everyone jumps Viscera and hits him with whatever they can find. Crash appears to be busted open. The Acolytes double team the champion and the beatings continue on everyone for a bit. Hardcore and Mosh beat Viscera down and get two each.
We’re under ten minutes now and it’s fine extinguisher time. There’s so much stuff going on it’s impossible to call. Viscera heads back into the ring and goes up top (for those of you unfamiliar, Viscera is about Big Show’s size), only to be slammed down by the Acolytes. The APA (Acolyte Protection Agency, same team) breaks a board over his back and Bradshaw hits a top rope shoulder to put him down. For no apparent reason they throw Kai En Tai on top of Viscera, giving Funaki the belt.
Funaki, apparently the smartest guy in the match, grabs the belt and runs away. Everyone catches up to him in the back with 7:00 left. Rodney gets a fluke pin out of nowhere for the pin, which I believe is the Posse’s first pinfall. Joey suplexes him down and wins the title but Thrasher gets a clothesline and the title. Everyone beats up Thrasher now because its their job and we come into the arena again. Pete Gas hits Thrasher with a fire extinguisher and wins the title.
Taz gets his hands on the champion and brings him back to ringside for a beating. A t-bone suplex puts the bloody Pete down for the pin and the title with….dang it they took the clock down. Hardcore sends Taz into the steps for two before Mosh takes a shot at him. Taz rolls up Mosh for two on instinct alone. Now it’s the Hollys and Taz in the ring and three minutes to go. Crash gets cracked in the head by Taz for two which again means nothing. Hardcore puts Taz down and the cousins fight over a cover. Two minutes left and both Hollies get two off a powerslam by Hardcore.
We’ve got a minute left as Hardcore hits the dropkick for two. The champion hits a suplex on Hardcore to send him outside as Crash hits Taz with a trashcan lid for the title. The Tazmission goes on Crash but Hardcore blasts Taz in the head with a candy jar and covers Crash. The ending is screwed up though as Hardcore was supposed to get two but be stopped by the time.
Instead the referee had to stop counting…but Hardcore wins anyway. It made no sense, but either way the important thing here is Taz actually. That jar was made of real glass and when it shattered, some of it got in Taz’s eye. Allegedly he was supposed to win the Intercontinental Title but the reign went to Benoit instead.
Rating: B-. What do you want me to say about this? It was exactly what it was supposed to be so I can’t complain about it in that regard. They beat the tar out of each other with some funny spots and it was contained in one match instead of a big goofy show long angle like we had two years later. This rating could be all over the place depending on your taste for this stuff.
We look at Axxess over the weekend. Interestingly enough Undertaker is there in the biker attire.
Al Snow talks to someone in a bathroom stall when Steve Blackman comes in and says don’t do something stupid. This is during the Head Cheese (Snow and Blackman) attempt at finding Blackman a personality.
Trish is ready in the back.
Head Cheese vs. T&A
Snow brings out Chester McCheeserton, which is a guy in a cheese suit. Snow: “This is better than Shawn on a zipline.” That would be Test and Albert (Tensai) with the brand new Trish Stratus as their manager. Test and Blackman start as JR’s mic goes out. Test gets kicked down quickly but it’s off to Albert who hits a quick splash in the corner for two. Snow comes in for a few seconds but it’s quickly back to Steve for a running shoulder which takes Albert down.
Snow comes in again sans tag with a slingshot legdrop to the back of Albert’s head. Blackman breaks up a gorilla press attempt from Albert to give Snow two. Head Cheese double teams Albert as the fans are dying faster and faster by the minute here. Chester annoys Trish as Blackman drops a knee on Albert’s crotch. Off to Snow who gets caught in a suplex, allowing for the ice cold tag to Test.
T&A his a double powerbomb on Snow as JR calls it bowling shoe ugly. Snow hits an Asai Moonsault on Test before the modified Trash Compactor (backbreaker by Blackman/guillotine legdrop from Snow) for two on Test. The match breaks down even more as Albert hits a gorilla press on Blackman before a top rope elbow by Test gets the pin.
Rating: D-. Anything with Trish in an outfit that small can’t be a failure, but at the same time this match absolutely sucked. There was NOTHING good going on here and they weren’t just on different pages, but rather in different libraries. This was absolutely horrible and one of the worst Mania matches ever.
Post match Head Cheese beats up Chester. You know, because they’re good guys!
We get a “comedy” bit based off Austin Powers with Kat being unclothed and Mae Young accidentally covering up the good parts.
The Dudleys say they’re afraid of heights but they’re ready for the triangle ladder match. This is when Bubba still had a stutter.
Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz
The Dudleyz are defending and this is a triangle ladder match rather than a TLC match. That would come in September. This is when Edge and Christian still came through the crowd and somehow hadn’t won the tag titles yet. As the Dudleys pose in the aisle on a ladder during their entrance, the Canadians jump the only actual brothers in the match. This is going to be one of those matches that is almost impossible to keep track of. Bubba chops away at Jeff in the ring but gets caught by Whisper in the Wind. A Bubba Bomb puts Jeff right back down and they all head to the floor.
Christian sets up a ladder in the ring but Matt makes a save. Everyone gets back inside and there’s a second ladder. Matt throws one into the corner at Bubba for a sick thud right before D-Von is slammed onto a ladder and hit by a middle rope elbow. Jeff puts Bubba on the ladder but misses a 450, giving us a SICK looking crash. Bubba puts the ladder on top of Jeff and actually hits the middle rope backsplash to crush both of them. Edge rides a ladder out of the corner to crush another ladder onto Matt.
D-Von takes Edge down and all six guys are on the mat or floor now. Bubba is up first and we get the put the ladder around your own neck and spin around in a circle move. Edge and Christian finally dropkick the ladder into Bubba to put him down and there’s a double flapjack into the ladder in the corner on D-Von. Christian climbs a ladder and dives onto Matt and Bubba on the floor. This is all happening with almost no breaks in between. Jeff climbs the ladder in the ring but Edge jumps off the top with a spear. That would be topped by about 1000 next year.
Matt hits a crucifix bomb on Edge before trying to climb, only to be slammed down by D-Von. D-Von goes up, only to have Christian throw the ladder at him to bring him down. There are now three ladders set up in the middle of the ring and it’s Bubba with a Cutter to Christian off two of them. Awesome looking move there. With Bubba down, the Hardys hit a splash/legdrop combination off the top of the ladders. D-Von tries to climb but the Canadians suplex him off the ladder.
Everyone but the Dudleyz climb up but they all come flying down due to a facebuster and a Russian legsweep in another spot that would be topped next year. The Dudleys are back in now and the fans want tables. Now all six guys climb three ladders and as you can guess, they all go flying down. Christian and Jeff get the worst of it, crashing out to the floor. Bubba lands on his feet and shoves the other two ladders over, leaving him alone in the ring. D-Von is back up too but here’s Christian back to his feet, only to get crushed between two ladders.
Edge comes back in and gets caught in the original 3D, with Bubba running for the cutter instead of just standing there. Bubba loads up a table as is his custom and D-Von gets one of his own. There are two ladders set up in the ring and the Dudleys are all alone, but instead of climbing they make a scaffold out of a table between the tops of the ladders. The Hardys get back up to make the save but are easily dispatched. Again the Dudleys screw up though by setting up another table under the scaffold and a third on the floor.
Bubba powerbombs Matt through the one on the floor but D-Von misses a splash through Jeff on one of the tables back in the ring. Jeff tries to run the rail but Bubba pelts him in the face with a ladder. Bubba loads up the super ladder in the aisle before setting up a table in front of it. I can smell wrestling law #1 from here. Jeff comes back and takes Bubba out before putting him on the ladder. In the famous spot from this match, Jeff climbs to the top of the super ladder and hits the Swanton through Bubba through the table to put both of them out.
Back in the ring D-Von suplexes Christian down and goes for a climb but here’s Matt to break it up. The Twist of Fate takes D-Von down and now it’s Matt and Christian climbing the ladders. They both wind up on the scaffolding that was set up earlier but here’s Edge from behind. The brothers throw Matt through the table, allowing Edge and Christian to pull down the belts for their first titles.
Rating: A-. There are two problems with this match. First of all, the match the next year blows it away. Second, and far worse, the last ten minutes were spent setting up spots instead of actually going for the belts. Take the big spot of the match for example. Why in the world would Bubba do that instead of for the sake of doing that spot later? Same with all the other tables set up. There was no logic to doing that, but they did the spots anyway. Still though, excellently fun match.
Mick Foley and Linda McMahon say the main event tonight is the biggest match of all time and thanks to Linda, Mick gets to be in the main event at Wrestlemania. He says fairy tales can come true, one will come true for him.
Terri Runnels vs. The Kat
It’s a Catfight, meaning you have to put your opponent on the floor to win. Val Venis is referee and Moolah and Mae are in the respective corners. The referee compares a part of himself to Wrestlemania in a promo that would get him chased off by a pitchfork carrying mob in today’s world. Venis is in a referee’s towel too. Early on he picks up Terri and gets kissed in a spot that would have made the Montreal Screwjob completely different.
Kat hits a lame spear but Val has to stop Mae from flashing everyone. Terri is sent to the floor but there’s no referee. The old chicks get in the ring and Mae kisses Val. Kat throws Terri to the floor but Moolah pulls Kat to the outside. Terri is the only one in as Val escapes Mae, giving Terri the win. Total mess but it was a bridge between the big match and the rest of the show.
Terri is stripped post match.
The Radicalz are ready for the six man tag but Eddie is more interested in melting Chyna with the Latino Heat.
Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna
This would be Saturn/Malenko/Guerrero. They’re brand new at this point and Dean is already Light Heavyweight Champion. Too Cool was their first feud and it was a big enough deal that Too Cool rode it to a tag title reign in a few months. Eddie and Scotty start things off and Scott has his hat knocked off almost immediately. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Eddie down and it’s off to Chyna, sending Guerrero running off to Dean.
Malenko loads up a fast powerbomb but Scotty clotheslines him down to break it up. Chyna and the Grandmaster suplex Malenko down and it’s time to dance. Back to Eddie to face Grandmaster with Sexay hitting a quick suplex. Saturn breaks up the top rope legdrop though and the Radicalz take over. Perry comes in legally now and steals Grandmaster’s dew rag, somehow making him look even more ridiculous.
Eddie comes back in and allows Grandmaster to make a tag to Scotty. That goes badly for the non Radicalzas Scotty charges into a hot shot followed by the slingshot hilo for no cover. Grandmaster comes back in sans tag and throws Eddie to the floor as things fall apart. Scotty loads up a double Worm on Saturn and Malenko but an Eddie distraction lets them get back up. There’s no one in the ring at the moment until we get back to Scotty vs. Eddie. Perry comes back in and superkicks Hotty down.
A top rope elbow hits Scotty but again there’s no cover. Instead it’s back to Guerrero who goes up but takes too long, allowing Scotty to crotch him. A superplex puts both guys down and there’s the hot tag to Chyna. She cleans house with handspring elbows and a double low blow to Saturn and Malenko. Eddie decks her though, breaking part of her outfit in the process. Chyna escapes a powerbomb into one of her own, grabs Eddie’s crotch and slams him down before finishing him with a sleeper drop.
Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me for the most part but the main story of Chyna vs. Eddie was advanced which is the right idea. This would wind up meaning nothing (in a way) though as Chyna would fall victim to the Latino Heat the next day, starting a summer long relationship between the two. I guess that crotch grab changed her mind.
The redneckiest rednecks of all time won a contest to go to Wrestlemania.
Big Show and Shane say Show will win.
We get a clip from earlier of Angle beating up his mentor Bob Backlund after finding out that Backlund came up with the idea of Kurt defending both titles.
Angle asks a security guard for extra security for the post match celebration.
Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho
This is an interesting idea. Angle holds both titles coming in and there are going to be two falls here. The first is for the Intercontinental Title and the second is for the European Title, so basically we’re getting back to back triple threats. Jericho guarantees to walk out of this match as the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah while the other two will walk out with a shirt that complains about how lousy the shirt is as well as how bad the beating from Jericho was.
Benoit jumps Angle before the bell before heading inside for a clothesline from his fellow Canadian. All three are in now and Benoit chops Jericho, only to have his belly to back suplex escaped. Benoit breaks up a springboard dropkick by Jericho before fighting with Angle on the apron. Jericho hits the previously broken up dropkick to send both guys out to the floor. He joins them immediately, only to be sent into the steps by Kurt. Back in and a belly to belly suplex gets two for Angle on Jericho.
Jericho hits a backbreaker on Angle but Benoit shoves Jericho off the top and into the announce table for good measure. Benoit covers Angle for two before suplexing him down for the same. Jericho is back in for a dropkick to his fellow Canadian but Benoit comes right back with a clothesline for two more. Jericho bulldogs Angle down but Benoit comes back with chops of his own on the other Chris. Angle suplexes Benoit down but Jericho makes the save. Very back and forth action so far.
Jericho camel clutches Benoit but has to break it up to stop a charging Kurt. Angle hits a big suplex on Jericho for two as Benoit makes another save. Benoit rolls up Jericho in the corner but Angle dropkicks his head face first into the middle buckle to break it up. Jericho loads up a double arm suplex on Angle but gets countered into a crossface chickenwing. Benoit comes back in and dropkicks Angle before sending him to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and the Swan Dive to Jericho gives Benoit the first fall and the Intercontinental Title.
Very wisely Benoit immediately covers Jericho for an attempt at the European Title but it only gets two as Kurt dives in for the save. Angle suplexes Benoit down for two but takes too long on the moonsault attempt, allowing Jericho to break it up. Jericho loads up a belly to back superplex but Benoit supelxes Chris down, allowing Angle to miss the moonsault on Benoit. All three guys are down now until Angle covers Benoit for two. Jericho gets back into it with a Walls attempt on Angle, only to have the other Chris break it up.
Everyone gets back up and it’s Jericho with a spinwheel kick to take Benoit to the floor. The double powerbomb puts Angle down but Benoit comes back in for the Rolling Germans on Jericho. Benoit goes old school with a Dragon Supelx on Angle for two. Jericho hits the forearm on the referee by mistake, only to be put in the Crossface by the new IC Champion.
It gets an unseen tapout but Benoit releases, allowing Jericho to put Benoit in the Walls. Angle hits Jericho with a title belt but Benoit makes the save as the referee is awake again. Benoit suplexes Angle down again but misses the Swan Dive. Jericho slides in for the Lionsault on Benoit for the European Title to end things.
Rating: B+. Awesome match here which would have been match of the year when this style dominated in 2003. All three guys were the future generation of the company once we shifted to the technical style over on Smackdown in a few years, but here it’s just awesome instead of a match of the times. This is one of the only things that people remember from this show and with good reason: it was awesome.
Vince says he’ll be a factor in the main event. He’s in Rock’s corner tonight and doesn’t think his family is dysfunctional. Vince promises to make it right tonight. You can smell the screwjob coming from here.
HHH doesn’t like what Vince just said and promises not to lose.
D-Generation X vs. Rikishi/Kane
This would be Road Dogg and X-Pac with Tori as the final surviving members of the team. Kane has the wicked awesome inverted colors on tonight with mainly black trimmed with red. Tori slaps Paul Bearer before the match but gets choked by Kane for his efforts. It’s a brawl to start with Rikishi hitting a quick Stinkface on Road Dogg. The fat man turns his attention to Tori but Pac makes a last minute save. D-X tries to leave to no avail as the big men slowly chase them down.
We finally get started with Pac vs. Rikishi and the smaller man hitting a spinning kick in the corner but no Bronco Buster follows. Off to Roadie for the dancing punches and a forearm to put Rikishi down. The shaky knee gets two and it’s back to Pac for some kicks to the chest which have no effect. A Samoan Drop puts Pac down and there’s the tag to Kane. Kane gets to beat up X-Pac which is the whole point of the match. X-Pac avoids the Stinkface but Bearer throws Tori in to take his place. Kane tombstones Pac to end this.
Rating: D. This was another way to bridge between the two matches while also giving us a nice closure to this feud. Rikishi was a popular guy at the time so giving him a big match on a show like this was the right idea. Tori screwed over Kane months before so seeing her get what was coming to her was a nice feeling. The match sucked though.
Post match Too Cool and the San Diego Chicken come out to celebrate but Kane doesn’t trust the bird. Everyone dances as Kane stares at the chicken. Either Pete is a far better dancer than expected or there’s something afoot. Kane stares down at the bird but here’s Pete Rose with a ball bat. This goes as badly as the other years have gone and it’s a chokeslam and a Stinkface for the Hit King. I’ll give the guy this: he’s willing to do almost whatever the WWF asked of him.
Rock says it’s been twelve months since he was world champion and there have been a lot of bad moments for Rock since then. After ever chokeslam, every Mandible Claw and every Pedigree, he’s back here at Wrestlemania for his world title. If Rock has an ounce of blood and sweat, he’s going to layeth the Smacketh Down tonight for the millions and millions.
Various celebrities are here tonight, including Michael Clarke Duncan and Martin Short.
Here’s a recap of the main event which the company doesn’t think is important enough to explain to you. HHH is defending champion and retired Foley at No Way Out. Rock won the Rumble but Big Show presented HHH with a video showing that Rock’s feet hit first. This got Big Show a match at No Way Out for the #1 contendership where he beat Rock. Rock then earned the shot back by beating Big Show on Raw. Linda McMahon brought Foley back for one night only and if he wins tonight, there’s a tournament leading up to the title match at Backlash.
The real story here is that there’s a McMahon in every corner: Vince with Rock because Vince respect him, Stephanie with her husband HHH, Linda with the feel good story of Foley and Shane with Big Show because he sees Show as his ticket to the top of the company. In other words, the wrestlers are just there as the McMahons are the real show here.
WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mick Foley vs. HHH vs. Big Show
There are no tags here, no disqualification and you have to win by pin. Why there are no submissions is beyond me but whatever. Rock and Big Show fight as do the other two with the champion being punched down. Allegedly Foley was told a week before this match that he would be participating so he isn’t in the best of shape. Granted that’s normal for him so maybe it won’t be that big of a deal.
Big Show runs over everyone and gorilla presses HHH and Rock. Foley gets a headbutt but tries to jump on Show’s back, only to have the giant crush him against the mat. Rock comes back with right hands on Big Show but walks into a side slam for no cover. HHH jumps into a chokeslam attempt but Foley breaks it up with a low blow. Everyone triple teams Big Show to a big reaction and a running clothesline from Rock puts him down. They all stomp away at the giant but HHH and Foley just can’t work together that long.
Foley blasts HHH in the ribs with a chair and hits Show in the back with it as well, allowing the Rock Bottom to get rid of the biggest guy in the match. We’re down to three now and Shane is ticked off. HHH offers Foley an alliance against Rock but Foley says no. Instead HHH offers Rock an alliance against Foley but we get a Rock and Sock Connection reunion as HHH gets beaten down. HHH gets punched down and dropped with a double clothesline.
The champion is sent to the floor but the Connection won’t fight each other. Instead they head to the outside and beat up HHH even more to the fans’ delight. Rock picks up the bell but accidentally blasts Foley in the head. Foley gets up quickly and finds a barbed wire 2×4. HHH saves himself with a low blow and a shot to Foley’s ribs with the board. Rock comes back in and is backdropped to the floor, allowing Foley to hit the double arm DDT on HHH. It’s Socko time and Rock adds a belt shot to take HHH down.
Rock loads up the Elbow but Foley puts the Claw on him to break it up. HHH hits them both low to put them both down but Rock gets back up first and pounds away on the champion. Foley gets in a shot to Rock for two and a double arm DDT gets the same. Vince slides in a chair for no apparent reason but Foley gets it first. It gets kicked back into his face by Rock for two as HHH makes the save. Why would he do something like that? A running knee lift gets two on Rock but HHH doesn’t save this time. Interesting.
HHH and Mick start working together for a bit and a knee drop gets two on Rock. They head to the floor with Mick’s knees being sent HARD into the steps. Mick picks up said steps and cracks Rock in the head with them as Stephanie yells at Linda. HHH puts Rock on the table for the Foley elbow through it….but Mick can’t jump that far and crashes ribs first into the edge of the table. HHH hits about three elbows of his own to put Rock through the table as the match continues to drag.
Back inside and HHH Pedigrees Foley for two and a big eruption from the crowd. A BIG chair shot to the head puts Foley down and Linda is panicking. HHH Pedigrees Mick onto the chair and the career is over again. We’re down to two now and HHH is somehow even more hated than he was before. Foley gets a big standing ovation but turns around to come back to the ring. He picks up the barbed wire and blasts HHH in the head to give us one last BANG BANG moment.
We’re finally down to HHH vs. Rock after twenty minutes of glorified preliminary stuff. Rock gets two off the barbed wire stuff and they head up to the stage for the required main event brawling. Rock suplexes HHH down on the concrete and does the same with a clothesline. They head into the crowd for even more “fighting” which means walking with the occasional punching. A backdrop puts HHH back at ringside where Rock picks up the steps, only to have HHH knock them onto Rock with a chair. He pounds on the steps with the chair to crush Rock even further underneath them.
A piledriver on the steps keeps Rock down even longer before we head inside again. The piledriver only gets two and Rock is somehow up again to slug away with right hands. Rock Bottom and Pedigree are both countered with HHH being backdropped out to the floor. Rock hits a kind of spinebuster to put HHH down and there’s a suplex through the table for good measure. Both guys are basically dead now but it’s Rock up first.
Vince can’t handle the lack of the spotlight anymore though and rams HHH into the post. Cue Shane again to take out Vince with a monitor shot to the head but Papa gets up a few seconds later to beat up his son. Shane comes back with a chairshot as we’re ignoring THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA to see Shane and Vince fight. As a bleeding Vince is taken out, we cut to a shot of Stephanie with the most vapid look you’ll ever see on her face.
We’re allowed to return to the match now with right hands from Rocky. A DDT gets two on the champion as does a tilt-a-whirl slam. HHH comes back with a facebuster and a barbed wire shot to the head of Rock. At least he’s nice enough to loudly ask “ARE YOU OK” before being catapulted into Shane. There’s the Rock Bottom but Rock can’t cover. Instead here’s Vince for the 87th time tonight to slap Shane around. Then, as if you would expect anything else, he turns on Rock with a chair shot. Stephanie still fails at acting as HHH chairs Rock down again for the pin to retain and kill the crowd even deader.
Rating: D+. And that’s being VERY generous. This was the definition of McMahon overkill as it was ALL about them with the match literally being ignored at times while they had their repeated drama. On top of that the match sucked with the first 20 minutes being there to get us to the last 20 minutes which doesn’t do anyone any good. The rest of the match was just a big mess with no real story to it as we were all at the mercy of the McMahons. Instead of focusing on HHH vs. Rock, we had to wait 40 minutes for Vince to turn on Rock for no apparent reason. Also Rock would win the title at Backlash, making this entirely pointless.
Post match Vince and Stephanie reunite in the ring. Shane gets back in but before we can get more of McMahon World, Rock comes in with Rock Bottoms for all three McMahons. You might notice that HHH, the FREAKING WORLD CHAMPION, is nowhere in sight for all this. Oh wait he pops up on the apron to get punched down before Rock hits the People’s Elbow on Stephanie (who doesn’t even move an inch when it hits). The last shot of the show: the McMahons recovering of course.
Overall Rating: D. This show is the low point of the best year in the company’s history and it’s because of the McMahon drama. Again, there is zero reason to have them dominate a main event like this other than that’s what they wanted to happen. The stuff that was good though, while limited, was VERY good with the midcard title match and the tag title match blowing away everything else going on with this show. That main event is a BIG blow to it though given how long the thing ran. Check out those two matches and then go pick up the N64 game instead of the show as it’s WAY more entertaining.
Ratings Comparison
Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan vs. D’Lo Brown/Godfather