Royal Rumble 2001
Date: January 21, 2001
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 16,056
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Austin is back and that’s by far the biggest change from last year. He’s been on a warpath after Rikishi and I think HHH for running him down last year. Other than that there isn’t much going on in the Rumble. We also have Angle defending against HHH and Jericho vs. Benoit with twenty minutes and a ladder. I think we’ll have another solid show here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is what you would expect: one out of thirty will win and the rest will fall.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boys

The Canadians have the titles and the Dudleys have concussions. It’s a brawl to start with the champions trying to bail very quickly. We wind up with Edge vs. D-Von to start as the challenger gets two off a neckbreaker. Off to Christian who is elbowed down for two of his own. Bubba comes in as Jerry makes fun of the Dudleys’ injuries. A side slam gets two on Christian and it’s off to D-Von vs. Edge again.

Christian finally goes for the back of D-Von’s injured head to give Edge control and we get into the meat of the match. Christian gets the tag and starts pounding away on D-Von’s head, followed by a neckbreaker from Edge for two. After a quick chinlock Edge hits a neckbreaker for two more as Bubba looks like he’s about to cry. Since it’s a Dudleys match, the fans want tables. Lawler wants gumbo.

D-Von breaks up a spike piledriver for reasons of wanting to stay alive, catapulting Edge into Christian. Edge and D-Von clothesline each other and the referee misses the ensuing hot tag. A Conchairto misses D-Von and there’s the seen hot tag to Bubba. A pair of hot shots takes down a pair of Canadians and there’s a Bubba Bomb to Christian. What’s Up hits Edge but wouldn’t that hurt D-Von’s head even more?

D-Von goes to get a table and the distraction lets Edge get a title belt. Bubba ducks the shot and gets a VERY close two off a rollup. 3D is broken up by a spear to Bubba and a DDT to D-Von but Bubba kicks out again. The champions try What’s Up but the Dudleys escape and the 3D on Edge gives us new champions.

Rating: B. This is one of those annoying matches where it’s really good and therefore there’s nothing to make fun of. These guys had some of the best tag matches the WWF has ever seen and this was no exception, with all four guys looking great out there. Notice something about Edge and Christian and the Hardys: they came from tag teams but they were allowed to grow up in said tag teams, meaning once they made the transition to singles matches they had a far easier time. That NEVER happens today which is why tag teams don’t make good singles wrestlers anymore. The crowd is white hot tonight too.

Drew Carey is here. He’s promoting an improv comedy PPV and somehow got in the WWE HOF out of it.

Vince says Austin will be in the Rumble despite what happened on Smackdown with HHH. What actually happened isn’t mentioned but whatever.

HHH tells Stephanie to not come to the ring with her tonight but she says she’ll be there to take care of Trish. Drew Carey comes in and pleasantries are exchanged. He talks about meeting Kamala in an airport and plugs his PPV a bit. Drew seems cool here at least. Stephanie offers to introduce him to Trish for some reason.

The APA shows each other their Rumble numbers. Crash comes in and says he’ll throw them both out even though they’re friends.

We recap Jericho vs. Benoit. Do you really need an explanation here? They suplex each other a lot and fight over the IC Title so tonight it’s a ladder match with Benoit defending. Oh and Benoit has hurt Jericho’s arm.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

It’s a slugout to start with Jericho getting a very early advantage. Benoit tries the Crossface but has to escape the Walls instead. Jericho misses a charge and hits the post before missing the springboard dropkick and crashing to the floor. Benoit posts him and goes for the ladder but stops to send Jericho into the steps. We’re only three minutes into the match though so Jericho stops Benoit’s climb. A ladder shot to the face puts Benoit down and the referee tells them they have thirteen minutes left.

Jericho lays the ladder across the top rope and of course goes face first into it as a result. Good to see that even Canadians follow the first law of wrestling. Benoit tries a suicide dive but Jericho puts up a chair, causing Benoit massive head trauma. Jericho tries to ride the ladder from the apron onto Benoit on the barricade but the other Chris moves out of the way. A ladder to the face stops Jericho again and now Benoit swings a chair.

Back in and Benoit loads up a ladder in the corner before ramming Jericho face first into it. Jericho gets up and puts the ladder in the corner again before tying Benoit’s legs between the rungs for a kind of Russian legsweep off the middle rope. Benoit comes right back with a dropkick to send the ladder into Jericho’s face and a hard belly to back suplex. The ladder is placed on the top rope again and Benoit’s face is whipped into it HARD. Jericho immediately follows up by see-sawing the ladder into Benoit’s face. Almost every one of these shots would be classified as FREAKING OW MAN.

A missile dropkick puts Benoit down again but he saves a climb attempt by Jericho. Benoit suplexes Jericho out to the floor and both guys are down again. Benoit goes up again but has to stop to kick Jericho away. Jericho gets up anyway and bends Benoit backwards into the Walls ON TOP OF THE LADDER. Benoit falls on his head but still kicks the ladder over to stop Jericho. AWESOME sequence there.

Jericho drills him with the ladder and goes up, but Benoit immediately pulls him down into the Crossface. Jericho taps out but it means nothing other than pleasure for Benoit here. Benoit sends him shoulder first into the post but Jericho comes back by sending Benoit face first into the ladder. The ladder is moved to the corner and both guys climb, resulting in Jericho being superplexed back down.

The Swan Dive hits the mat though and Benoit is in big trouble. Jericho puts the ladder on top of Benoit’s ribs, but the champion shoves it over anyway from the mat, sending Jericho face first into the buckle and out to the floor. Benoit goes up again but gets shoved out to the floor, allowing Jericho to sprint up the ladder and win the title.

Rating: A+. Take two Canadians, give them a ladder and 19 minutes and this is what you should expect. These two beat on each other HARD and the match was excellent as a result. They came up with some new stuff while mixing in basic stuff like HIT THE GUY IN THE FACE WITH A LADDER but it was so intense that it became a classic. Check this one out.

Drew hits on Trish but she says no because she’s involved with someone. Vince comes in and isn’t exactly cool with Drew being around Trish. More PPV plugging ensues and Vince says to promote the PPV, Drew should be in the Royal Rumble. Drew says sure why not.

Billy Gunn is worried about Chyna hurting her neck again in the next match.

Jericho says he proved Benoit wrong.

We recap Chyna vs. Ivory. The RTC (Ivory’s censorship group) hurt Chyna’s neck with a spike piledriver and tonight is about revenge. This forces us to sit through Chyna trying to be emotional.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

Ivory is defending here. Chyna immediately runs her over with a pair of clotheslines and a toss around by the hair. Stomping ensues and Chyna knocks her out to the floor. They head into the crowd so Chyna gorilla presses her right back to ringside. Back in and Steven Richards gets beaten up as well. In an ending to set up Wrestlemania, Chyna tries the Muta Handspring Elbow but hurts her neck (on the softest bump in the corner you’ll see in years) and Ivory gets the pin to retain.

Rating: D. Ivory was squashed until the end when she won off an injury. What are you expecting from a match like this? This was designed to get more attention on Chyna because no female could conceivably beat her, so making her Women’s Champion for her Playboy hype wouldn’t do much good. Nothing to see here at all unless you’re a fan of Chyna in leather.

Chyna gets looked at by Lawler, Gunn and medics, resulting in a stretcher job.

Trish and Stephanie run into each other and still don’t get along. I can’t decide if Chyna or Stephanie is a worse actress.

Drew Carey gets some gear and talks to Kane. Nothing funny is said and much glaring ensues.

Low Down, as in Headbanger Mosh and D’Lo Brown doing an Arab comedy gimmick (don’t ask) is told that the Rumble spot they won earlier on Heat will be going to Drew Carey. See, THIS is a good use of a celebrity. Who cares if Mosh or Brown isn’t in the Rumble? Carey isn’t exactly a huge star, but he’s more interesting than either of those two. He promotes his PPV, the WWF gets some publicity, life is good.

Fans at WWF New York talk about the world title match.

HHH breathes a lot.

We recap Angle vs. HHH. Angle is on the roll of a lifetime to begin a career, having won the title from the Rock and defended it against Undertaker. HHH got the shot through some corruption and says he’s allowed Angle to be champion this long. Trish is playing both sides of the field, being in Kurt’s corner tonight but obviously sleeping with Vince, who is on HHH’s side at the moment. Stephanie couldn’t act, but dang she looked good in leather pants while she argued with Trish.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending. They trade wristlocks to start with Angle taking it to the mat before HHH takes it to the corner. A clothesline puts HHH on the floor as things slow down early. Back in and Angle escapes a suplex and hits three of his own for a near fall. HHH bails tot he floor and gets punched for his efforts, but he manages to send Angle into the barricade to slow things down.

Back in and HHH takes Angle to the mat which isn’t likely his best option. Since it’s a HHH match, we go old school with an Indian Deathlock. A dragon screw leg whip puts Angle down again but as he loads up another one, Angle takes him down with an enziguri for two. Kurt comes back with a whip to send HHH over the corner and out to the floor. This is slow to start but they have a ton of time.

They slug it out on the floor and HHH goes into the steps. Angle punches him around a bit more until a Stephanie distraction lets HHH crack Angle’s knee with a chair. Still good psychology so far and I’m digging the pace. We get our first Flair move as HHH hits a knee crusher onto the steps. They head back inside after about three minutes on the floor and HHH cranks on the knee even more.

Off to an inverted Indian Deathlock because we can’t quite reach the 80s yet. The facebuster gets two for HHH and it’s time for a bad looking Figure Four, although at least it’s on the correct leg. Trish interferes to try to break it up and we get a catfight on the Spanish announce table. Vince comes down to break it up as we completely stop watching the match. Vince carries Trish away but Stephanie pulls her off her dad’s shoulder. We haven’t seen anything in the ring for about two minutes now.

We FINALLY return to the match for a small package for two for Angle before it’s back to the knee. HHH gets kicked into the buckle and Angle grabs a DDT for two. A Russian legsweep looks to set up the moonsault but HHH hits him low to block. HHH busts out a Razor’s Edge out of the corner of all things for two. I’ve never seen him use that other than here. The Pedigree is countered into a slingshot into the post and Angle headbutts HHH in the crotch to boot.

Now the moonsault hits (I’m as shocked as you are) but he hurts his knee in the process. It only gets two as a result and Angle heads to the floor to walk his knee out. HHH dives off the apron and takes out Hebner by mistake. Angle goes into the post and we head back in where Angle runs the ropes (selling the knee? What’s that?) for an armdrag off the top. Angle tries to get Hebner up but HHH rams Angle into Hebner, sending Earl into the steps as a result.

HHH grabs the belt but Angle counters into an overhead belly to belly. Now Kurt gets the belt but HHH blocks into a Pedigree for no cover. Austin runs out and beats on HHH before hitting him in the face with the belt. He throws Hebner back inside but Angle is still down. A Stunner puts the bloody HHH down and Angle gets a VERY delayed pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. This was good but the overbooking brings it way down. Basically you have two matches here with the dividing line being the Vince/girls stuff. The match was starting off as a great psychological battle and it turned into an Attitude Era main event which it just didn’t need to be. This was disappointing after the way the match started.

Rikishi (#30) and Undertaker warm up for the Rumble.

Rock talks about how the Rumble is like a big bowl of jambalaya. As for Kane and Undertaker possibly being together, he doesn’t really care if they want to give each other a box of chocolates or kick each others’ faces in, because Rocky is throwing them both out. It could come down to Rock vs. Bull Buchanan, Rock vs. Perry Saturn, or Rock vs. Steve Austin, but either way he’s going to Wrestlemania. Rocky was feeling it here.

Rumbly hype video, where there are a legit high number of possible winners. Austin is the favorite but it’s not 100% as long as Rocky is in there. This is also one of the last years where they really pushed the idea that ANYONE could win.

Royal Rumble

Jeff Hardy is #1 and Bull Buchanan is #2. Bull charges into the ring and the beating is on fast. Jeff fights back and goes up top before hitting a headscissors. The intervals are two minutes again this year if you care about those kinds of things. They slug it out in the corner with no one getting an advantage until Matt Hardy is #3. Poetry in Motion and a double clothesline quickly dispatch Bull, so the Hardys fight for awhile.

The clock starts so the Hardys stop brawling as Faarooq is #4. Things don’t go any better for Faarooq than they did for Buchanan, resulting in a Twist of Fate and Swanton to knock him out as well. Jeff poses and Matt tries to dump him, resulting in some friction. Matt wins a slugout but gets caught by a Whisper in the Wind. Drew Carey is #5 and he wisely stands at ringside as the Hardys eliminate each other off the corner.

Drew is the only one left standing and the crowd seems amused. Then Kane is #6. JR: “Oh my God oh my God oh my God.” Drew begs the Hardys to get back in as Kane stalks him. After about a minute, Kane gets in and Drew offers a handshake and then cash. Kane grabs Drew by the throat until Raven is #7. Drew wisely eliminates himself, high fives some fans and bails. This was perfectly fine as he was in there like 3 minutes and gave us a decently funny moment. Also he seemed to enjoy being there which is more than I can say for most celebrities. Good stuff.

Anyway, Raven pounds on Kane with a kendo stick and a fire extinguisher blast. Al Snow jumps the gun at #8 to pound on Raven who eliminated him recently. Snow legally comes in a few seconds later with trashcans and lids, followed by a bowling ball which goes into Raven’s crotch. Big gasp from the crowd for that one. JR: “It looks like a hurricane has blown through New Orleans.”

Snow and Raven pound away on Kane with everything they can find before FINALLY taking him down with a double drop toehold into a trashcan. Perry Saturn is #9 and goes after Kane’s knee which is pretty stupid in a battle royal. Everyone takes their shots at Kane and some triple teaming finally gets him to his knees. Steve Blackman with his hardcore fighting sticks is #10 as the hardcore segment continues.

Things slow down a bit as they are known to do in hardcore matches until Grandmaster Sexay is #11. Kane finds a trashcan and explodes, eliminating everyone in about thirty seconds. Honky Tonk Man, Lawler’s second straight relative, is #12. He brings his guitar and starts to sing until Kane destroys the guitar over his head and gets his sixth elimination in a row.

Kane is standing tall so here’s the Rock at #13 for our first big showdown. Rock goes off with punches and a jumping clothesline but Kane blocks the elimination attempt. Rock keeps pounding but runs into a big boot to put him down. Goodfather is #14 and Rock eliminates him after two punches. Kane pounds him down again, prompting JR to say “Kane is a carnivore chewing on a big piece of Rock Burger.” Lawler: “…..Rock Burger?” Tazz is #15 and lasts even less time than Goodfather.

Rock and Kane slug it out for a bit until Rock hits a Samoan Drop. Both guys are down until Bradshaw is #16. He’s cool with fighting both guys and hits the Clothesline on Rock. Rock comes back with the spinebuster but Kane clotheslines Rock down to take over again. Albert is #17 to keep up the size and power trend. Albert and Bradshaw pair off as do the other two guys but we can’t get an elimination.

Hardcore Holly is #18 as Albert hits the chokebomb on Bradshaw. A bicycle kick from Albert puts Kane down in a pretty impressive looking move. Rock tries do dump Kane but the dude in the mask stays in. K-Kwik (R-Truth) is #19 and is immediately slammed down by Bradshaw. Nothing of note happens until Val Venis is #20. The ring is getting full now with Kane, Rock, Bradshaw, Albert, Holly, K-Kwik and Venis.

Rock powerslams Kwik down and William Regal is #21. He also beats up Kwik who isn’t having a good night so far. Nothing of note happens again until Test is #22. He immediately knocks out Regal before pounding away on Albert. Big Show makes his return from a trip to OVW to try (and fail) to lose weight. He clotheslines Test out and dumps Kwik as well. Everyone not named Rock gets chokeslammed as Rock kicks Show low and eliminates him for the second year in a row.

As Crash Holly is #24, Big Show seemingly turns heel and chokeslams Rock through the announce table. Everyone goes after Kane and Undertaker is #25, meaning it’s finally time to get rid of some of these guys. The Brothers clear the ring other than the two of them and Rock left on the floor. The tall guys stare each other down and Scotty 2 Hotty is #26. Not exactly the brightest guy in the world, Scotty gets inside and is gone in about 45 seconds.

Austin is #27 but HHH runs out to avenge the earlier interference. Rock climbs in as the Brothers watch Austin get beaten up on the floor. Austin is busted open as Taker beats on Rock off camera. Billy Gunn is #28 to save Rock for some reason. Taker DDTs Rock down as HHH leaves. Haku, as in Meng, the reigning WCW Hardcore Champion, is #29. He goes right for Taker and pounds him into the corner and everyone pairs off. Rikishi is #30, giving us a final group of Rikishi, Haku, Rock, Austin, Undertaker, Kane and Billy Gunn.

Rikishi gets in a fight with Austin on the floor and everyone is in the ring now. Austin dumps Haku as Taker ERUPTS on Rikishi. A chokeslam puts Rikishi down but a pair of headbutts go badly for the Dead Man. Rikishi superkicks Undertaker out in a pretty big upset. As impressive as that was for him, he tries the Banzai Drop on Rock and deserves the elimination he gets.

We’re down to four with Kane, Austin, Rock and Gunn. Gee I wonder which one is going out first. Gunn escapes the Stunner and hits the Fameasser on Austin but gets thrown out anyway a few seconds later. Rock DDTs Kane down as Austin chills in the corner. Rock and Austin lock eyes and the fight is on. That’s Wrestlemania people. The spit punch drops a weakened Austin but he escapes the Rock Bottom. The Stunner hits but Austin stops to go after Kane and charges into a Rock Bottom.

Kane gets back up and gets sent through the ropes by Rock, leaving Rock vs. Austin for the moment. They slug it out some more and fight for an elimination, but Kane comes back in and dumps Rock in a shocker. That also gives Kane the record for most eliminations in a Rumble at 11. Austin kicks Kane low to put both guys down and Kane bails to the floor. Kane brings in a chair but walks into a Stunner. About four chair shots and a clothesline send Austin to the main event of the best show ever.

Rating: B+. It’s not as good as last year but it was awesome for the most part with some BIG star power out there. They did a great job of keeping you guessing until the end as Rocky winning here was a very legitimate possibility. Austin is back from his surgery and back where he was before, which is exactly what he needed to do. Very good Rumble with some nice surprises.

Overall Rating: A. While it’s not quite as great as last year, this is pretty easily the second best Rumble so far. The ladder match is excellent and the Rumble is quite good as well. The world title match is great too and there’s a solid opening tag match on top of that. The Women’s Title match sucks but it’s less than four minutes long. Great show again, but things would be coming down soon.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boys vs. Edge and Christian

Original: B-

Redo: B

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

Original: A

Redo: A+

Ivory vs. Chyna

Original: N/A

Redo: D

Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: A

I’m surprised that I liked it that much less last time. Still a great show.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/20/royal-rumble-count-up-2001-drew-carey-could-go-to-wrestlemania/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2000
Date: January 23, 2000
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,231
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

After sitting through 1998 and 1999, this is my reward. What we have here might be the best Rumble show of them all with one of the best matches ever and a great Rumble on top of it. 2000 is the best in ring year the company ever had and this was a great way to kick that year off. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Cactus Jack challenging HHH for the world title in a street fight. This is that “one of the best matches ever” that I was talking about. The idea is simple: Cactus wants the title back and he’s facing HHH in a street fight, which means HHH is in WAY over his head. We’re in Foley’s hometown in Foley’s match with Foley’s most hardcore character. How can this not be a masterpiece?

Kurt Angle vs. ???

Angle is undefeated at this point. Kurt says he’s a real winner here, unlike the New York Knicks. This is goofy Kurt, which means he’s hilarious. He says that the mystery opponent must be scared to come face him, but the opponent needs to take a deep breath, come out here, and face Angle like a man. The self-help thing here is hilarious. The fans chant WE WANT TAZ….and here he is!

Kurt Angle vs. Tazz

Tazz pounds away on Angle and hits a HUGE backdrop to send him to the floor. Angle escapes a suplex in the aisle (painted like a street with a big cab hanging above the entrance, which looks like an alley. It’s really cool) and takes over. Back in and Kurt hits a forearm for two and chokes away in the corner. A belly to belly puts Tazz down but Angle goes up and gets crotched. Tazz hits a super Tazplex for two before getting rolled up for two. Angle gets two more off a bridging German before walking into a release German from Tazz. We unleash the suplexes on Kurt before the Tazmission ends Angle’s undefeated streak.

Rating: C+. This was short, but to say it was an effective debut is an understatement. The place ERUPTED when Tazz won which is exactly the point of the opening match. See, this is what you call LISTENING to the audience. WWF knew they had to appeal to the ECW fans and what better way than to have Tazz debut here? Today, Tazz would be in some comedy match and would likely lose, because Heaven forbid that the fans get what they want in one city for one night.

Angle does a stretcher job.

We go to the Hardys in the back and get a clip of them and the Dudleys putting each other through tables. Terri, the Hardys’ manager here, is told to stay in the back. She would be gone from the team soon, thank goodness.

Tazz says Angle is just the first victim.

Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

I believe match #1 or #2 in a series of roughly 8000 and it’s an elimination tables match. Bubba praises John Rocker of the Braves who had recently gone on a massive anti-New York rant in Sports Illustrated. The Hardys hit the ring and the match starts fast with Bubba hitting the Bubba Bomb on Jeff. No tags here thank goodness. Bubba sets up a table in the ring but before he can get another one, Jeff takes him out with a HUGE flip dive.

Jeff gets sent into the steps as Matt escapes a powerbomb through the table. D-Von suplexes Matt as Jeff CRACKS Bubba in the head with a chair. In a SICK spot, Jeff tries to run the railing but Bubba throws the table at Jeff, knocking him out of the air. That sounded GREAT. The pairings trade off and Bubba loads up the backsplash through the table, only for Jeff to come back and try a double superplex. D-Von moves the table but doesn’t stop the suplex.

Matt brings in a ladder because this might as well be a TLC style match. We head to the floor where the ladder is set up in front of a table with Bubba on it. Matt dives through Bubba through the table just as Jeff dives in from off camera with a splash, sending Bubba through the table in another awesome looking spot. So it’s 2-1 now with Jeff leaning a table up against the barricade. The steps are set up on their end and a table is set up like a bridge between the steps and the apron.

D-Von is placed on the bridged table but moves before Matt dives through him. He moves AGAIN to avoid a diving Jeff, sending him through the leaning table. Cool sequence there by Ninja D-Von. Apparently Bubba doesn’t have to leave. Ok that makes things more interesting. The Dudleys set up two steps in the ring and put a table across them before hitting a HUGE powerbomb on Matt to eliminate (in a sense) him. The tables are LOUD tonight too. Jeff gets beaten into the aisle but Matt quickly follows, only to get WHACKED in the head with a chair.

The Dudleys stack up four tables in front of the entrance (it’s the MSG setup where the entrance is opposite the cameras). Matt gets put on the tables and Jeff is CRACKED in the head again to break up the save attempt. Bubba climbs onto the taxi over the aisle to splash Matt, but remember that wouldn’t win the match. Jeff climbs up after him (I’m not sure where D-Von went) and blasts him with a chair, knocking him through two of the tables (still doesn’t win). Matt puts D-Von on the table and Jeff dives off the taxi with the Swanton through D-Von through the table for the win.

Rating: B+. This was AWESOME with all four guys being young and hungry here. The Dudleys were out to prove themselves and the Hardys were out to show they could hang in a fight. They had already proven they could fight in a violent match like the ladder match, but this was a brawl instead of a high flying match. REALLY fun stuff here though and well worth a look if you haven’t seen it. The Dudleys would get the titles next month, setting up the first triangle ladder match at Mania.

Angle gets a concussion test and complains that being choked out is illegal.

It’s time for the Miss Rumble Bikini contest with Sgt. Slaughter, Tony Garea, Moolah, Johnny V, FREDDY FREAKING BLASSIE and Andy Richter from Late Night with Conan O’Brien as judges. Jerry gets to emcee of course. The contestants are Ivory, Terri, Kat, Jackie, BB (You shouldn’t remember her) and Luna. The idea here is that Kat legitimately took her top off (full exposure too, the only intentional female nudity in WWF history) at Armageddon and more nudity was promised here.

Ivory doesn’t want to do it but eventually does. Terri does her usual skin colored one which we’ve seen before. Lawler freaks out over her bending over the ropes. Jackie…no one cares. BB isn’t bad but again, the whole point of this is for Kat to win. Luna won’t show. Kat is in a bikini made of bubble wrap. Creative if nothing else. The judges start tallying their scores but here’s Mae Young to enter as well. She takes off her robe, and THERE is the nudity (it was fake). Mae wins to complete the joke. Lawler’s reaction of “OH MY GOD I SAW THEM” is priceless. Mark Henry comes in to save our collective retinas.

The recently hired Coach doesn’t have much to say from WWF New York.

Chyna and Jericho, the co-IC Champions, argue over who gets to wear the belt to the ring. There was a double pin in a title match and they became co-champions as a result, which is a pretty creative idea.

Angle says he’s still undefeated. Rock would pin him on Smackdown a few weeks later.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chyna vs. Hardcore Holly

You know Jericho is fired up to be in MSG. He talks about how awesome his championship celebration will be, as it will make the millennium celebration look like his sister’s seventh birthday party. Holly piefaces Chyna down to start before getting in a slap fight with Jericho. Chyna gets sent to the floor for the Slaughter fall, leaving the blondes to fight for a bit. Holly hits that perfect dropkick of his but Jericho comes back with the forearm.

They slug it out until Holly tries a rana (huh?), only to get caught in the Walls. Chyna makes the save, basically turning heel at the same time. Chyna sends Holly to the floor and gets drilled by Jericho. Holly and Chyna go to the floor where Jericho tries a dive but slips and only hits Holly. Back in and there’s the handspring elbow and DDT from Chyna to the Canadian for two. Everyone heads to the floor where Jericho saves Chyna from a chair shot. Back in and both champions go up for a kind of double splash for two.

They both tried for a cover and a fight breaks out as a result. Chyna escapes a belly to back suplex and hits Jericho low, followed by a Pedigree for two on Holly. Chyna goes up but gets caught in a modified Doomsday Device (cross body instead of a clothesline) for a very close two. That probably should have been the finish. Now Jericho loads up a superplex but gets crotched for his efforts. Holly gets superplexed by Chyna but gets two on her off the bounce. Chyna chairs Holly in the head and puts on the Walls, only to have Jericho break it up and hit the Lionsault for the undisputed title and a BIG pop.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good and too short to get bad. It could have been on Raw but see, back in 2000, there was this crazy idea of finishing angles on PPV. I know that’s insane now and everything ends in a big match on Raw or rather just stops happening one day, but back in the old days, they ended like this. Match was fine.

Rock is worried about two and only two men in the Rumble: Crash Holly and Headbanger Mosh. Cole (minus facial hair) suggests maybe Rock should be worried about, say, Big Show. Rock says go make a glass of shut up juice (not one of his better catchphrases) and tells Big Show he doesn’t care what he thinks. He guarantees to win the Rumble right here in New York City and the place eats it up. I want one of those jerseys he’s wearing.

Jericho says he said he’d win and he’ll lead the Jerichoholics like a pied piper.

Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are defending and there’s a backstory that doesn’t deserve to be listed. Who would have thought that THIRTEEN YEARS LATER the Outlaws would be on house shows for the WWE again? The Outlaws are heels here but they’re over like free beer in a frat house here in New York. The APA storms the ring and the beating is on quickly. Bradshaw and Billy officially get us started with Billy taking a fast beating. Both guys tag as the referee is adjusting his ear piece.

Faarooq imitates Dogg’s dance before getting double teamed a bit. Bradshaw breaks up the shaky knee drop and everything breaks down. The Clothesline kills Billy and there’s the spinebuster to Roadie….but Billy pulls the referee out. The ref is bumped and Road Dogg is hit with a double powerbomb. X-Pac runs in and kicks Bradshaw’s head off. The Fameasser to the future JBL retains the titles in like two and a half minutes. This had to be cut for time. The Outlaws would lose the titles to the Dudleys next month and that would be the end of the team.

Dogg rhymes about keeping the titles.

We recap HHH vs. Cactus Jack. HHH won the title the night after Summerslam from Mankind via cheating. Big Show got the title at Survivor Series but lost it back to HHH in January. Mankind stood up to the newly formed McMahon-Helmsley Era and got beaten down for his efforts. Foley got fired and we had a fake Mankind get humiliated. Rock then said that every single wrestler would walk out and form the Rock Wrestling Federation if Foley wasn’t rehired. See how different storylines could be back then? Mankind got HHH to agree to a street fight at the Rumble but got beaten up for his efforts.

This led to an AWESOME promo on Smackdown, where Mankind said he wasn’t ready to face HHH in a street fight, but he knew someone who did. He took off his mask and ripped open his shirt to reveal Cactus Jack, scaring HHH to death. These two, as in Cactus Jack and HHH, had fought in 1997 in the match that basically brought hardcore to the WWF and they did it in MSG, with Cactus winning clean. This was an excellent story and there was a VERY real feeling that Cactus could pull this off, because HHH was in WAY over his head. Check out the build to this match as it’s some of the best stuff you’ll EVER see.

WWF World Title: Cactus Jack vs. HHH

Street fight. It should also be noted that Foley lost about 30 pounds inside of a month and a half and is by far the slimmest you’ll ever see him look here. HHH does the long slow walk to the ring which makes things feel even more epic. Stephanie heads to the back which is probably a good thing. Dang I miss that big title. It’s SO much better looking than the stupid spinner version. Even now when it doesn’t spin it doesn’t look like something special but rather something like a toy. The belt on HHH looks classy.

Cactus looks like and animal and HHH looks terrified. Jack wins a quick slugout and pounds HHH down into the corner. We head to the floor for a swinging neckbreaker on HHH and a legdrop onto the apron knocks the Game back to the floor. HHH is rammed into various metal objects but comes back with a bell shot to take over. NOW we get to the fun part as the first chair is brought in.

Back in and Jack charges right into a chair shot like an idiot. Granted for him, that’s playing the character right. HHH goes to unhook the buckle instead of covering for some reason and Jack pops up to clothesline the champ down. There’s a legdrop onto a chair onto HHH’s head for two and we head outside again. HHH gets backdropped into the crowd and the beating begins again. JR: “They’re out in the sea of humanity.” Jerry: “Humanity? JR we’re in New York.”

HHH gets rammed into something made of metal that we can’t see and they head into the aisle. Cactus sets up a wooden pallet and suplexes HHH onto it before screaming in his face. This isn’t falls count anywhere mind you. There’s a trashcan to the head and HHH gets rammed into the steel doors. The fans chant for Foley as he gets suplexed onto the trashcan. The crowd is just RUTHLESS against HHH here as they head back to the ring. The aisle is really short so it’s not a long walk.

Jack rams a knee into HHH’s head to drive it into the steps and it’s back inside now. This is almost all Jack so far. There’s the 2×4 in barbed wire but HHH hits him low to get the board away. Some shots to Cactus’ ribs and back have him in trouble and HHH looks at the board as if to say “did I just do that?” Cactus blocks a shot to the head and hits HHH in the balls with the board. The double arm DDT puts HHH down as the referee takes the board out of the ring, drawing the loudest booing of the ngiht.

Cactus wants the board back and beats up the Spanish announce team who the board was left with. He gets a board (clearly not the same one but that’s likely for safety reasons) and after the referee is crushed, HHH gets hit in the forehead with the wire. The board is driven into HHH’s forehead and he’s busted something fierce now. The referee is back up now and we get the most famous spot of the match with Jack ripping the wire across HHH’s cut to make him scream.

Cactus tries to piledrive HHH through the announce table (same thing he won the 97 match with) but HHH counters with a backdrop. JR: “The champion is bleeding like a horse.” When does a horse bleed? HHH is bleeding from his leg which is a rare sight to see. The place LOUDLY cheers for Foley and we head back inside. The Pedigree is countered into a slingshot into the post and a bulldog on the wire gets two.

HHH has a spot called to him about the steps before the Cactus Clothesline takes them both to the floor. Cactus charges but gets hiptossed into the steps, banging his knee in the process. You know a Flair disciple like HHH knows how to work on a knee. Back inside and HHH clips him down before picking up the barbed wire for another shot to the knee. HHH pulls out some handcuffs in a flashback to last year.

Cactus fights back and hits HHH in the head with the cuffs in a smart move. The cuffs are locked up a few seconds later though and HHH starts pounding away. The steps are brought in but Foley comes out of nowhere with a drop toehold to send HHH face first into the steel. A low blow keeps HHH down and Cactus bites away. HHH gets back up and grabs a chair which he literally BREAKS over the back of Cactus. They head outside again and Cactus takes some shots to the head from the chair.

Cactus says hit me again but before HHH can crush the skull, Rock pops out of nowhere and blasts HHH in the head with a chair of his own. A cop comes in and unlocks the cuffs, freeing Cactus. HHH starts backpedaling fast but gets caught on the Spanish Announce Table. The piledriver hits this time but the table DOESN’T BREAK.

We haven’t gotten violent enough yet, so here’s a bag of thumbtacks. Stephanie comes out (complete with snakeskin choker in a nod to Cactus) and HHH comes back with a backdrop onto the tacks. There’s the Pedigree but Cactus kicks out at two to blow the roof off the place. It doesn’t last long though as a Pedigree ONTO THE TACKS finally ends Cactus.

Overall Rating: A+. FREAKING OW MAN! If there’s a match that made a guy into a legitimate force better than this one made HHH, I’d love to see it. This was an absolute war with both guys destroying each other for about 27 minutes. The place never gave up on Foley and it’s easily one of his best matches ever. This is one of the best brawls ever and yet again it’s well worth checking out.

HHH is taken out on a stretcher but Cactus pulls him back into the arena. There’s a barbed wire shot to the head and the place cheers like crazy for Mick some more.

Linda is at WWF New York to talk about HHH’s title reign. Wait no she’s not. She would NEVER be involved with something involving bloodshed. And Stephanie is oh so precious and does SO much work for charity don’t you know.

Royal Rumble

The intervals are “two minutes or less” according to the Fink. We get a quick look at Shawn’s miracle save in 95 which would play a role in the coming weeks. D’Lo Brown is #1 and Grandmaster Sexay is #2. Feeling out process to start with Sexay countering Brown’s running powerbomb into a rana. A middle rope missile dropkick puts Brown down and Mosh, complete with cones on his chest, is #3.

Kai En Tai, two guys ticked off about not being in the Rumble, runs in and are immediately thrown out. Nothing else happens for a minute or so until Christian (with his AWESOME solo theme called Blood Brother. Look it up) is #4. Nothing happens again so here’s Rikishi to a POP at #5. Mosh, Christian and Brown are quickly dispatched, leaving Grandmaster and Rikishi.

Scotty 2 Hotty is #6 to complete the trio…..and it’s time to DANCE! The place absolutely loses it over this until Rikishi clotheslines and eliminates them both. Note that it is NOT a heel turn and just business, which Too Cool is ok with. Rikishi dances a bit more on his own and the place is still erupting.

The company took notice of those eruptions too, and the three of them wound up feuding with the Radicalz for the next four months or so, resulting in Too Cool getting the tag titles and Rikishi getting the IC Title. In other words, they were given a stupid gimmick, got it over, and were rewarded. Today, you get to lose the US Title to Jack Swagger and become a jobber to the stars if you get yourselves over. As I typed that, Steve Blackman came in at #7 and was eliminated.

Viscera is #8 and you know New York loves itself a fat boy battle. Big Visc rams into him a few times but misses a charge and three straight superkicks put him him. Big Boss Man is #9 and won’t get in, drawing some good heel heat. He stays out on the floor until Test is #10. Test pounds away on Boss Man to finally get all three guys in there. Boss Man hits Test low but Rikishi hits Test low to put both guys down.

British Bulldog is #11 as things slow down a bit. There’s a low blow for Rikishi as well and Bulldog tries to get him out until Gangrel is #12. Kai En Tai comes out again and Taka is thrown over the top into a 360, landing face first on the floor. FREAKING OW MAN. This would be played multiple times over the rest of the match, much to Lawler’s amusement. Edge (starting to mean something and over in New York) is #13.

Boss Man takes a Banzai Drop and Bob freaking Backlund is #14. He comes out to Hail to the Chief as he’s legitimately running for Congress in Connecticut at this point. You would think that would have been a tip for Linda’s future but alas no. Everyone goes after Rikishi and dumps him out to get us to the second part of the match. To recap, we’ve got Boss Man, Bulldog, Test, Gangrel, Backlund and Edge in there at the moment. Jericho is #15 to his third or fourth big pop of the night.

Jericho goes right for Edge in a match that would be for the world title eventually. That doesn’t last long though as Jericho dumps Backlund, who yells at some fans before leaving. Actually he goes into the crowd to look for Connecticut registered voters. For a guy as bland as he was back in the day, Crazy Backlund is one of the best performances I’ve ever seen.

Crash is #16 and gets a double spanking from Edge and Bulldog. Ok then. Edge is sent to the apron by Bulldog so he punches the British Boy in the balls. Chyna is #17 in the far less remembered Rumble appearance. She goes right for Jericho and suplexes him out in about 30 seconds but gets knocked out by Boss Man almost immediately. Faarooq is #18 and here’s the Mean Street Posse who is also out of the Rumble. Those three and Kai En Tai were all thrown out of the Rumble on Heat so five more guys could be added in.

Anyway Faarooq is quickly dumped and Road Dogg is #19. The crowd does his entrance for him but he runs right into a low blow. The fans want Puppies, a term Road Dogg invented. Crash survives an elimination and Al Snow is #20. Roadie throws out the Bulldog and Val Venis is #21. Funaki runs in on his own and is thrown out almost immediately again. Prince Albert (Tensai) is #22 and there goes Edge.

The ring is getting too full now with Boss Man, Test, Gangrel, Crash, Road Dogg, Snow, Venis and Albert. Dogg continues his strategy: hide in the corner and wrap all four limbs around the bottom rope. I’ve heard worse ideas. Hardcore Holly is #23 and we’re getting down to almost only big names left. Crash gets knocked to the apron but gets back in AGAIN.

Now we get to the final part of the match as The Rock is #24 to bring everyone to their feet. Boss Man is the first victim, being eliminated by a spit punch. Venis and Test double team him but Rock hangs on in the corner. He beats up Hardcore for a bit as Billy Gunn is #25. He goes right for Rocky but since no one believes Billy Gunn is going to eliminate Rock, the Great One throws out Crash to give himself something to do instead. Dogg has shifted over to another corner now.

Big Show, Rock’s opponent for this match, is #26. Rocky pounds on him immediately but Albert sticks his fat head in Rock’s business. Show dumps Gangrel and Test before going to stomp on Rocky. Bradshaw is #27 and is out in about 30 seconds at the hands of the Outlaws and the Mean Street Posse. Kane is #28 complete with the still sexy Tori. Venis gets thrown out almost immediately and Show stupidly gorilla presses Gunn down instead of out. Kane knocks Albert out as Godfather is #29. The Ho’s are especially good looking tonight.

Funaki comes out for the fourth time. JR: “For the love of Pete.” Jerry: “No that’s Funaki.” X-Pac is #30 which was announced in advance. The final group is Road Dogg, Al Snow, Hardcore Holly, Rock, Gunn, Show, Kane, Godfather and X-Pac. Snow dumps Holly and Show puts Godfather out. Rock dumps Snow to get us to six. Billy dumps a talking too much Roadie just before getting dumped by Show.

We’ve got X-Pac, Kane, Big Show and Rock as the final four. I’ve seen far worse. Rock throws out X-Pac but the referee is with Kane who is fighting the Outlaws on the floor. Pac gets back in and the guys pair off. Show sends Rock into Kane for a big boot as the giants choke each other. Pac kicks Rock down and Kane hits a pretty good enziguri and an even better slam on Big Show. Pac kicks Kane out and a Bronco Buster on Big Show.

Rock dumps X-Pac and we’re down to two. The spinebuster sets up the Elbow but since IT’S JUST A FREAKING ELBOW DROP, Show gets up and chokeslams Rock down. Show takes WAY too much time though and Rock holds onto the top rope, sending Big Show out to go to Wrestlemania. Awesome ending to an awesome match.

Rating: A. AWESOME Rumble here with the absolute right ending. This was the Rock’s Rumble and there was no other person who should have won it. The only part that was a little dull here was the middle but it’s certainly not bad. This followed the three part structure as all great Rumbles do and as usual, it worked like a charm. Great Rumble and one that might have a claim to best ever.

Rock says he’s going to Wrestlemania when Big Show comes in and knocks him to the floor. Show stands in the ring as Rock leaves to end the show.

Overall Rating: A+. This is one of the best shows the WWF has ever put on. Period. There isn’t a bad match on the whole card, the crowd is ON FIRE all night and you have two excellent matches to round out the show. I can’t imagine anything in the next 12 years surpassing this one and I can’t recommend it highly enough. Outstanding show.

Ratings Comparison

Tazz vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A-

Redo: C+

Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: A

Redo: B+

Chris Jericho vs. Chyna vs. Hardcore Holly

Original: C

Redo: C+

New Age Outlaws vs. Acolytes

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

HHH vs. Cactus Jack

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Royal Rumble

Original: A-

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: A

Still great and still the best Rumble ever.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/19/royal-rumble-count-up-2000-match-of-the-decade-maybe-yeah/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 4, 2016
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s the first Raw of the year and we’re starting with a bang. Tonight we’re seeing the rematch between Roman Reigns and Sheamus for Roman’s WWE World Title with Vince McMahon as the guest referee. It’s also time to keep going towards the Royal Rumble as we’ve got less than three weeks to go. Let’s get to it.

We open with another long recap of Reigns vs. Vince to set up tonight’s title defense.

Here’s Stephanie to get things going but Roman Reigns cuts her off on the way to the ring. Reigns laughs off Stephanie’s annoyance and calls Vince out. Vince isn’t here yet and Stephanie goes into her degrading voice about how this isn’t Roman’s night. Roman says that title is his life and his family because without it he can’t provide for his wife and daughter.

This amuses Stephanie even more as she rips on the fans for having so much false hope, just like Reigns. Stephanie says you can’t keep a good billionaire down and promises to destroy Roman tonight. After he loses the title, she’s going to work him all around the country until he drops. Then the fans are going to forget about him and move on, just like they did with Roman’s father Sika. Not really Steph, not really. Roman threatens to send Vince to the hospital and Stephanie finally shuts up.

We look back at Kevin Owens’ path of rage (and his loss) from last week.

Brock Lesnar is back next week.

Neville vs. Kevin Owens

Ambrose is on commentary. Neville has taped up ribs and quickly sends Kevin outside for a flip dive. Owens gets knocked across the ring and out to the floor on the outside, setting up a shooting star from the top. Back in and Owens gets smart by kicking Neville in the ribs and plants him with a hanging DDT out of the corner. Neville gets dumped out to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Neville still on the floor and missing his rib tape. He dives back in to beat the count at nine but Owens sends him back outside and hard into the barricade. Neville kicks him in the face to get a breather and busts out a sweet 450 off the apron. They head back in with Neville going up top, only to get crotched down for a Cannonball. The Pop Up Powerbomb ends Neville at 9:45.

Rating: B. I had a lot of fun with this thing as they were just beating the tar out of each other for the entire time they were out there. This was exactly what they needed to do last week with Neville looking awesome (including some fresh stuff) but Owens looking like a killer at the same time. Really well done here.

Post match Owens goes after Neville again but Ambrose dives on him to make the save. Owens loads up the announcers’ table again but Dean takes over and drives him through the table with an elbow drop. Dean tells Owens that all he has to do is ask for a shot.

Vince arrives and finds it ironic that last week he was on the wrong side of the law but tonight he is the law.

Stardust vs. Titus O’Neil

So this is still a thing. Titus chops him HARD in the corner to start until the Disaster kick puts him down. Stardust slowly stomps away in the corner as well and we hit the chinlock. The fans start chanting CODY to freak Stardust out, allowing Titus to come back with a big clothesline. A big boot in the corner and the Clash of the Titus puts Stardust away at 4:26.

Rating: D. Pretty lame match but when is the last time you saw a random midcard match with no interference and a clean winner? I like what I see with Titus and he could be fine as a midcard act if you give him more of a character aside from doing a dog bark. Nothing to see here, other than the total collapse of Stardust.

Becky Lynch is getting ready when Charlotte comes up. Apparently Charlotte isn’t happy that they’re having a match tonight but they pinky shake anyway. Ric Flair comes in and WOO’s.

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Non-title. Becky gets sent into the corner to start but grabs some armdrags to frustrate Charlotte. They hit the ropes with Becky nipping up and Charlotte cartwheeling into a standoff. Charlotte flips over in the corner but dives through the ropes into a rollup for two. Becky throws her down again but helps Charlotte up, only to take a HARD chop. Charlotte drops some knees until we take a break.

Back with Charlotte doing her figure four neck flips, which she really should bring back. Becky dives out of the corner but gets caught in midair, only to spin around into a sleeper. That earns her a backwards drop onto the mat for the break but Becky makes her comeback with clotheslines and a leg lariat. There’s a t-bone suplex for two on the champ but Ric grabs Becky’s leg. It doesn’t work this time as Becky rolls her up and grabs the trunks for the pin at 8:50.

Rating: C+. Good match here that felt more like an NXT match than a WWE match. The ending really didn’t need the trunks involved but at least Becky got a big win to likely set up the title match at the Rumble. I could use less Ric in this whole thing but at least they’re getting somewhere with an actual title feud.

Post match Charlotte goes full heel (for real this time) and destroys Becky while Ric struts.

Sheamus comes in to see Vince, who implies he’ll call it down the line. May the luck of the Irish be with you.

Ryback vs. Big Show

Ryback is officially in the Rumble. Show chops him into the corner to start but misses a charge, allowing Ryback to hit a quick clothesline. Ryback calls to finish it thirty seconds in, only to walk into a chokeslam. Show throws Ryback over the top….and we’ve got Wyatts. They surround Ryback so he goes after Harper, only to get quadruple teamed. That’s not very nice of Ryback. They might have wanted to sell him some Girl Scout Cookies. We’ll say the match ended at about 1:15.

Strowman chokes Ryback out as Big Show just watches. Now the Wyatts circle the ring and go after the giant. Show knocks Bray, Harper and Rowan down but spends too much time staring at Strowman, allowing the swarm to take him down. Bray says they are the four horsemen of the apocalypse and everyone will fall. The other three do an upside down Horsemen gesture.

Alberto Del Rio/Rusev vs. Usos

Hokey smoke the Usos are in different color gear. I could get used to this, but it means I can’t just pick a random name and say they’re starting. Jimmy and Del Rio get things going with Alberto eating an early clothesline. Rusev gets double clotheslined but the heels take over on Jey with Rusev driving him into the corner. A wicked overhead belly to belly sends Jey flying and we take a break.

Back with Jey trying a comeback on Rusev but missing an enziguri. Del Rio kicks him hard in the back and it’s off to Rusev for a chinlock. Jey finally fights up with a Samoan drop and makes the tag off to Jimmy as things speed up. A kick to the face gets two and there’s an enziguri to stagger Del Rio even more.

Jimmy goes up but gets crotched down but the top rope double stomp misses (thank goodness). The superkick and Superfly splash get a VERY close two on Del Rio with Rusev diving in for the save at the last second. Jey dives through the ropes to take Rusev out but lands on a raised boot. Back in and Del Rio kicks Jey in the head to tie him in the ropes, setting up the top rope double stomp for the pin at 13:25.

Rating: B-. Fun match here but I’m getting a bit bored with the fairly long midcard tag match of the week. They’re entertaining and the time could have been used for far worse things, but these things are getting harder to get hyped for. It doesn’t help that these two aren’t the most interesting teams in the world, though the action was good. Quality, but not exactly entertaining here.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Heath Slater

Ziggler is officially in the Rumble. Slater comes out with Adam Rose, Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas, all of whom have apparently been tweeting about change all day. Ziggler gets some early rollups and small packages for two each, followed by that dropkick of his. Slater chokes a bit and throws Ziggler down by the hair. That goes nowhere and Ziggler tries a superkick but has to go after Rose. Slater grabs a rollup and gets the big upset at 4:41.

Rating: D. Sure why not. Ziggler is going to be in the exact same place no matter what he does and a loss to Heath Slater isn’t going to change a thing for him. It’s not like these guys are doing anything else so why not throw them together into a nothing midcard stable. I doubt it lasts past the Rumble but it’s better than having them on the roster for no apparent reason.

Post match Slater says he’s found some friends. Rose gets way too excited about the four of them being flowers. Axel goes on about the chains being off and Dallas says it’s all about getting back up. Slater caps it off by saying they’re trending worldwide despite being social outcasts. That sounds like the team name.

Ambrose is defending the Intercontinental Title against Owens on Smackdown. On the same show, Lynch will be challenging for the Divas Title.

Vince comes in to see Reigns and tells him not to cheat tonight. Reigns seems uneasy.

Here’s New Day for a chat. Big E. promises to make this the greatest year of all time and they’ll start by beating up the Dudley Boyz and Kalisto like they were Mike Tyson falling off a hoverboard. We get a reenactment of Tyson falling and now it’s time for a countdown. The ten count gets down to three and BREAK DOWN THE WALLS!

Yes Chris Jericho is back and declares himself as the party host for the night. He’s here to save the WWE one more time, sixteen years after he debuted. Woods isn’t pleased because the New Day has already saved this company through the power of positivity. Now it’s time for Jericho to not be impressed because the unicorn horns are stupid.

Jericho says he’s back to bring some life to this place and he’s sorry that we had to sit through five minutes of Green Day and rootie tootie. Big E.: “WHO ARE YOU CALLING ROOTIE TOOTIE?????” The fans get in on the chant until Jericho announces his entrance in the Royal Rumble. The Y2J problem is back and the WWE will never EVER be the same again.

Dudley Boyz/Kalisto vs. New Day

Woods and Kalisto start but Xavier wants Bubba. That’s fine with Bubba and Woods actually stays in the ring. A chop has no effect on Bubba and it’s time for a ROOTIE TOOTIE chant. It’s off to Kofi who is immediately caught in a very delayed vertical suplex. JBL: “Put the unicorn down.” D-Von comes in and sends everyone to the floor, allowing Bubba to throw Kalisto out on top of everybody.

Back from a break with Bubba in trouble but avoiding a splash in the corner. That allows a tag off to Kalisto but it’s quickly time for the Unicorn Stampede. Woods slaps on a chinlock and the Warrior splash gives Big E. a near fall. Kalisto avoids another charge and makes the tag off to D-Von as everything breaks down. Bubba cleans house and Kalisto is driven into the barricade. A quick save keeps Kofi out of What’s Up and the Midnight Hour puts D-Von away at 16:40.

Rating: C+. Another fun match here and I’m glad it was D-Von taking the fall here. Kalisto is getting a chance to look like a big deal and it would have really been a waste to have him lose here. It’s also cool to see New Day win a six man for a change as they lose these things way more often than they should. Good stuff here.

Here’s the same recap that opened the show. Dude cut that out. You can do it in about a fourth of the time. Stop eating up so much of the show.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Sheamus

Reigns is defending and Vince is guest referee. Sheamus jumps him to start and gets a pretty quick two count. A hard Irish (of course) whip gets two for Sheamus but Reigns comes back with the corner clotheslines. Another clothesline puts both guys on the floor for no count as Vince doesn’t want Sheamus winning the match without the title. Sheamus gets in a shot with the steps but Vince wasn’t paying attention as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus getting two off the Regal roll but Reigns comes back with his array of clotheslines. The Samoan drop gets a VERY delayed two and the fans boo Vince out of the building. White Noise is countered into a sitout powerbomb for another two but Vince has something in his eye. Vince: “I NEED SOME EYEDROPS!”

Now it’s a Superman punch to knock Sheamus silly but Vince just won’t count. Reigns finally Superman punches Vince and spears Sheamus before calling for another referee. With nothing else to do, Reigns throws Sheamus outside and over the announcers’ table. Vince gets up so Reigns throws him back down and yells a lot.

Frustration gets the better of Roman and he grabs Vince with the fans chanting for the table. Cue a power walking Stephanie to get on the apron so Reigns throws Vince into the ropes, bringing Stephanie inside. She bails to the floor as Reigns loads up a spear to Vince but eats a Brogue kick. A second one knocks Reigns out but Vince is slow to count (looked like a missed cue). Crooked referee Scott Armstrong comes in to count two. Reigns blocks another Brogue with a Superman punch and spears Sheamus down to retain at 18:20.

Rating: C+. Well it told a good story and Vince continues to be one of the best performers in the world. They actually had me believing they might change the title here which says a lot given that we’re less than three weeks away from the Rumble and it was Sheamus. Solid stuff here and they’re on a roll with the storytelling all over again.

Post match Vince says Reigns is going to defend the WWE World Title again at the Royal Rumble. Reigns keeps saying one vs. all so that’s exactly what he’s going to get. At the Royal Rumble, Reigns will defend his title against twenty nine other men in the Royal Rumble match.

Overall Rating: B-. This was another good show and you can see the effort involved. They’ve reached the point where they have to start putting in some effort for the Rumble and ensuing Wrestlemania season and it’s already starting to pay off. The shows aren’t great or anything but they’re so far ahead of what they were doing just a month ago. Good show here and hopefully a sign of a hot Rumble and Wrestlemania build.

Results

Kevin Owens b. Neville – Pop Up Powerbomb

Titus O’Neil b. Stardust – Clash of the Titus

Becky Lynch b. Charlotte – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Ryback b. Big Show via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered

Alberto Del Rio/Rusev b. Usos – Top rope double stomp to Jey

Heath Slater b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup

New Day b. Dudley Boyz/Kalisto – Midnight Hour to D-Von

Roman Reigns b. Sheamus – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: December 31, 2015
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Booker T., Jerry Lawler

We’ll wrap up the year here with a Smackdown that not a lot of people are going to watch because most people aren’t at home from 8-10pm on New Year’s Eve. The big story coming out of Monday continues to be Vince vs. Roman with Reigns defending his WWE World Title against Sheamus this coming Monday. Therefore, I think you know what to expect here tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long and detailed recap of Monday’s events with Vince being arrested, the League of Nations costing John Cena the US Title and Vince returning to announce next Monday’s World Title match.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a festive New Day to open things up. It’s always a new day but tomorrow is New Year’s Day. Therefore their new year’s resolution is……nothing, as they’re already perfect. On top of that, they’re not the ones who didn’t vote for New Day for Tag Team of the Year. Instead, they have a list of resolutions for the fans. First up, everyone needs to wear glasses and hearing aids so they can see and hear all this greatness. Second, everyone is required to keep a New Day journal. Finally, every day, make sure to proclaim that NEW DAY ROCKS!

This brings out the Lucha Dragons who say the Slammys are for the people. I thought they were for the best in WWE but that’s what I get for listening to Michael Cole. The Dragons want a match right here and right now but Cara’s arm is in a sling. Therefore, they have some backup for Kalisto.

New Day vs. Kalisto/Dudley Boyz

We start this up after a break, which included Ryback’s new year’s resolution (give more to local charities and get more involved). Woods and D-Von get things going with Xavier being thrown into the corner like he’s nothing. Off to a fired up Bubba to crank on the arm and mess with Woods’ hair. For some reason Booker equates this to a Jedi mind trick as Big E. comes in to run Bubba over.

Kofi tries to charge at Bubba in the corner but gets a little Flip Flop and Fly. That means it’s time for Kalisto to play D-Von on What’s Up, only to have Big E. take him to the floor for a beating. It’s the Unicorn Stampede with Woods accompanying on trombone, followed by a big clothesline from Big E. to take us to a break.

Back with Woods putting Kalisto in a chinlock and Big E. getting two off a Warrior Splash. Kalisto avoids a charge though and makes the hot tag to Bubba as house is cleaned. The reverse 3D drops Woods like that ball in Times Square (Lawler gets in a good line like that every now and then). Kalisto DDTs Woods and a springboard Salida Del Sol puts Kofi away at 12:41.

Rating: C. Nice six man here with everyone looking good. They’re clearly setting Kalisto up as something important and that Salida Del Sol can hit from almost anywhere, making it even more deadly than most finishers. On top of that though, Bubba was really entertaining me here as he did not stop on the apron. So many people just stand there and wait for a tag but Bubba is constantly talking or moving or trying to get the crowd into the match. That’s always appreciated and Bubba is one of the best at it.

We look at John Cena’s week, which included hosting the Today Show and receiving a charity award.

Becky Lynch wishes us a happy new year.

Goldust vs. Tyler Breeze

Goldust snaps off some armdrags to start as Booker reminisces about their partnership. Breeze stops a charge in the corner by raising a boot and it’s time to start on Goldust’s arm. A quick spinebuster gets Goldust out of trouble and the snap powerslam gets two. Tyler slams the arm into the post though and a rollup with feet on the ropes pins Goldust at 3:25.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here though it’s always nice to see Breeze get a win, even if it’s meaningless like this one. Goldust’s latest comeback hasn’t meant anything, which is kind of a shame after the amazing resurgence he had over the last year or two. This was a filler match though and there isn’t much else you can say about something like that.

Post match Summer and Tyler announce that they’re splitting up for New Year’s, though it seems amicable. That’s good for Breeze as Summer is kind of the kiss of death for anyone she’s paired with. We do however get one last gorgeous picture for the road.

Bo Dallas finds Curtis Axel and talks about how bad Axel’s 2015 has been. Axel says he’s going to win the Royal Rumble so he won’t be eliminated two years straight. Dallas keeps walking and signs some random blonde’s hand. A little more walking finds Dolph Ziggler, who tells Bo to stop dressing like the New Year’s Baby. This sets up a match for later, complete with Ziggler doing a nearly creepy Dallas impression.

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Harper/Strowman here with only Rowan accompanying. Jey gets punched in the face to start but comes back with an uppercut to Harper. Jimmy comes in, only to have a run across the ring stopped by a Braun stare. It’s off to Strowman who chokes Jimmy in the corner and throws him around like a giant throws around a villager. Harper’s catapult into the bottom rope gets two and it’s off to a leg lock of all things.

Back to Strowman for a choke with his knee before we hit the nerve hold. It’s back to Harper for a chinlock until Jimmy finally gets in an enziguri. Strowman breaks up the tag but charges into the post, allowing the hot tag to Jey. A quick Umaga attack gets two on Harper and two superkicks stagger Strowman, only to have the standing choke knock Jey out at 6:28.

Rating: D+. This was a squash with a fast paced ending, which really isn’t what you expect to see happen to the Usos. I mean, in theory the Usos are next in line for New Day and they lose here in dominant fashion? If nothing else it makes me wonder how the Wyatts never won the Tag Team Titles. You would think it would be academic no?

John Cena returns to Smackdown next week.

Bo Dallas vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler gets two off an early rollup but Bo hits a quick clothesline, requiring a lap around the ring. Back in and Dolph misses a Stinger splash so we hit a chinlock. A really hard elbow to the face gets two for Bo and we’re right back to the chinlockery. Bo stops to pose and takes another lap, only to eat a superkick to give Dolph the pin at 4:23.

Rating: D. Another short match that didn’t go anywhere here. Dallas is fine for a low level jobber like this but it’s clear that he’s only on this show because they’re running split rosters again here. Ziggler is always a good choice to get a reaction from the fans and given that this is a nothing show, this was fine. Not a good match but a fine inclusion.

New Day’s new year’s resolution is to make sure that the patriarch becomes World Champion. I’m not sure who they mean there.

Here’s the same long recap that opened the show.

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus/Kevin Owens

Reigns and Sheamus get things going as the announcers talk about Vince being arrested on Monday. Sheamus uppercuts Roman around and elbows out of a Samoan drop. A clothesline puts Sheamus on the floor and Dean takes him down with a suicide dive. It’s off to Owens to pound on Dean, which only makes me think of Neville pinning him in 24 seconds on Monday. Dirty Deeds is broken up and Owens bails to the floor, only to have Dean send him into the announcers’ table. Owens drives Dean back first into the apron and we take a break.

Back with Kevin stomping on Dean’s ribs and we hit the chinlock. Sheamus comes back in for some clubbing forearms (yes I said clubbing forearms) and a reverse chinlock. Sheamus does the forearms to the chest but alternates some forearms to the back in a new twist. It’s back to Owens but Dean hits a quick rebound lariat, setting up the hot tag to Reigns. Roman starts cleaning house with the clotheslines and a Samoan drop but Owens breaks up the Superman punch. The second attempt connects with Sheamus’ jaw but this time Owens crotches Reigns against the post for the DQ at 11:14.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere as a good chunk was spent either in chinlocks or in the commercial. There’s nothing wrong with having two title feuds thrown into one match but you need more than eight minutes televised and a pretty lame disqualification finish.

Sheamus and Owens load up the announcers’ table but Reigns punches and spears his way out so the good guys can stand tall to end the year.

Overall Rating: D. It was clear that they weren’t trying here and the lack of half the roster being there hurt things even more. That being said, this is a show that didn’t need to exist and almost no one is going to watch it so it’s not like this really makes a difference. Monday is the big deal so there was no real need to do anything here. Lame show but at least it felt quick.

Results

Dudley Boyz/Kalisto b. New Day – Springboard Salida Del Sol to Kingston

Tyler Breeze b. Goldust – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Wyatt Family b. Usos – Standing choke to Jey

Dolph Ziggler b. Bo Dallas – Superkick

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Sheamus/Kevin Owens via DQ when Owens sent Reigns into the post

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Tribute to the Troops 2015
Date: December 23, 2015
Location: Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It’s the annual holiday special with the WWE putting on a show for the military. This is also going to include some comedy and musical performances, plus a few appearances from various celebrities. WWE treats this like a big deal and it’s the big finale to WWE Week every year. Let’s get to it.

We open with the standard video talking about how much WWE wants to thank the troops.

JoJo sings the National Anthem. The red, white and blue ropes are back for the special occasion.

Here are Roman Reigns (minus the title but with it on his graphic), Dean Ambrose (same) and the Usos to open things up. They quickly thank the troops but here’s the League of Nations to interrupt. Sheamus (no title either) is amazed that Reigns thinks America is the greatest country in the world. He likes the Americans and thinks it might be in the top twenty nations in the world.

Barrett thinks everything in England is better, especially the food. Do you know how hard it is to find spotted dick around here? Reigns: “This is a family show!” Del Rio doesn’t like American TV because it doesn’t have any football (“I mean the real football!”) and he has to listen to stupid country music.

Sheamus thinks Ireland has the best everything in the world but Reigns cuts him off with a tater tots mention. The League accepts an invitation for a fight but here are the Wyatts to interrupt. Before anything else can happen, the Dudley Boyz, Ryback and Kane come out to give us sixteen men at once. A huge fight breaks out and we take a break.

We’ll have a sixteen man tag later tonight.

Rusev and Lana insult America, setting up this.

Jack Swagger vs. Rusev

Boot Camp match because we need a new way for Swagger to lose to Rusev. Swagger starts fast with a Patriot Lock but Lana slips Rusev an ammo box to take over. Rusev gets in a few shots but misses a charge and falls to the floor. A big clothesline knocks Rusev onto a cot and we take a break. Back with Rusev drilling Swagger with a foot locker and squashing Jack’s head against the box for two. Rusev throws him to the floor and waves the Bulgarian flag, easily knocking Swagger back as he tries to get in.

Swagger finally gets smart by waving Old Glory, ticking Rusev off enough that Jack can get inside again. Some clotheslines have Rusev in trouble and the Vader Bomb gets two. The jumping superkick puts Jack down again but he catches another superkick in the Patriot Lock. That goes nowhere but Rusev gets sent into the foot locker in the corner. Another Patriot Lock goes on and Rusev actually taps at 11:01.

Rating: C. Well it took him long enough. Not much of a hardcore match but they really didn’t have a choice but to go with Swagger here. Having the American hero (that’s a stretch) lose at this show would be like having the Evil Santa steal Christmas on the holiday Raw so it’s not like Rusev really loses anything. Good enough match but more weapons would have been appreciated.

Some members of the roster went to a Navy SEALS training camp.

Joel McHale loves the troops.

Harrison Ford loves the troops as well.

Mark Henry vs. Bo Dallas

Bo is dressed as Uncle Sam. For some reason he slaps Mark in the face and pounds on his back a few times. Mark snaps up and Bo is terrified. Bo: “I’m gonna go back this way!” The World’s Strongest Slam ends Bo at 46 seconds.

The US Women’s National Soccer Team loves the troops.

Eva Longoria loves the troops.

Train performs.

Some troops wish their families Happy Holidays.

Wesley Snipes loves the troops.

Kevin Owens vs. Ryback

Before the match, Owens praises Canada, especially Quebec. We even get some French from Owens until Ryback cuts him off to get things started. Ryback muscles him up for a delayed vertical suplex but Owens knees him in the ribs and grabs an early chinlock. That goes nowhere so Ryback tries a Shell Shock, only to have Kevin grab the ropes. They hit each other from the apron and Owens falls to the floor for a breather. Owens takes the countout at 3:06.

Rating: D. Oh come on what do you want me to say here? This is a match that doesn’t mean anything but gives the fans something to smile about. I’m glad they didn’t have Owens take a clean loss though, especially with the new character having started up after this show was taped.

A military couple got to go backstage the show and had a Coke with Roman Reigns.

Howie Mandel performs.

Joe Manganiello loves the troops.

JJ Abrams loves the troops.

Brie Bella/Alicia Fox/Charlotte/Becky Lynch vs. Paige/Team BAD

This is your annual “here’s a bunch of good looking women” match. Naomi does her stupid shaking spot to Charlotte to start, earning her some chops. Brie, who is clearly a face this time, comes in for some YES Kicks. Tamina clotheslines Brie’s head off to break up BRIE MODE (well done) and it’s off to Paige for some shots in the corner. Brie shoves Naomi into the corner for a break, kicks Tamina away, and makes the hot tag to Becky. Everything breaks down and it’s a Bank Statement to make Alicia tap at 4:40.

Rating: D+. This was fine for what it was and at least we got to see Sasha do something other than be the female Kofi. It’s really kind of hard to find stuff to talk about with these matches because the stories are about two weeks behind and the matches mean nothing. Still though, this was a way to get the women on the show and little more so it accomplished its goal.

Clips of the roster meeting some troops.

Toby Keith loves the troops.

Neil Patrick Harris loves the troops.

Train performs again.

Cris Collinsworth loves the troops.

Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns/Usos/Kane/Dudley Boyz/Ryback vs. Wyatt Family/League of Nations

This is joined in progress, meaning we get to skip the entrances to save some time. Dean is in control of Rowan but it’s quickly off to Strowman vs. Bubba. Strowman wants Kane though and it’s time for the battle of the monsters. Kane can’t slam him though and Braun plants him with a slam of his own. The smaller monster fights back though and knocks Braun to the floor, setting up a big staredown as we take a break.

Back with Harper getting two off a swinging Boss Man Slam to Jimmy. Bray comes in for the backsplash and it’s time for the League to start taking turns beating Jimmy down. Jimmy gets in an enziguri to Sheamus but can’t make the hot tag. Instead it’s Harper putting on a headlock until Jimmy suplexes him down in a surprising power display. Now the hot tag brings in Ambrose for the top rope elbow on Harper.

Everything breaks down and Rowan takes What’s Up. Dean and the Usos hit dives and it’s time for the parade of finishers. It takes a Superman punch, a double shoulder from the Dudley Boyz, a double superkick from the Usos and a Meathook to put Strowman over the top (finally putting him off his feet in a nice touch). Dirty Deeds puts Harper away at 13:25.

Rating: C. Yeah fine. This has become a tradition on these shows and it’s a good way to put everyone out there for a big, fun main event for a fun show. I don’t know why you would expect this to be anything more than it was as it’s been the same idea for years now. Still though, fun enough and that’s all it needed to be.

The American flag comes down and the good guys celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. What else do you want me to say about this show? It doesn’t mean anything for storylines and the wrestling is average at best, but that’s all it’s supposed to be. I haven’t cared for the show as much since they stopped going overseas but really it’s harmless fun. Standard show this year, which is probably best all around.

Results

Jack Swagger b. Rusev – Patriot Lock

Mark Henry b. Bo Dallas – World’s Strongest Slam

Ryback b. Kevin Owens via countout

Team BAD/Paige b. Brie Bella/Alicia Fox/Becky Lynch/Charlotte – Bank Statement to Fox

Dudley Boyz/Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Ryback/Kane/Usos b. Wyatt Family and League of Nations – Dirty Deeds to Harper

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 14, 2015
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

Now this could be a very interesting show. Last night Roman Reigns finally showed the fire he’s been needing for years and destroyed the League of Nations as well as HHH. This starts the road to the Royal Rumble but there is almost no way to predict how a Philadelphia crowd is going to react. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last night’s main event and Reigns’ post match attacks.

Here’s a ticked off Stephanie McMahon to open things. She talks about how badly businesswomen are perceived. Take away her money and her education and she’s just like you. Last night she had to explain to her daughters why their daddy was beaten up and spitting blood in the hospital last night. It’s obvious the fans want her to be cold hearted and vindictive so that’s what they’re going to get.

This brings out Roman, who says it’s his daughter’s birthday and he can’t wait to see her when he gets home. Stephanie asks how Reigns can say that when her husband is so hurt. Reigns says he’s got stuff to do so fire him or move on. The boss yells about how Reigns failed again last night as he always does because he’s a disgrace and a failure. Roman disagrees because it’s really Stephanie and HHH that are the disgraces. Make that the entire McMahon Family, so Stephanie slaps him about ten times. She won’t fire him because her husband asked him not to. Vince might though, because he’s on the way tonight.

Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title and I believe the fourth straight show where Ziggler has been in the match after the opening segment. Dean wristlocks him down to start and gets two off a slam. We hit a Regal Stretch of all things on Ziggler before Dean sends him to the floor for a suicide dive. This has been one sided so far. Back in and we hit a pinfall reversal sequence until Dirty Deeds doesn’t work to send us to a stalemate as we take a break.

Back with Ziggler taking over by dropkicking Ambrose out of the air, followed by the Fameasser for two. Dean grabs a belly to back suplex into a faceplant for two of his own and now the fans think this is awesome. Oh come on you far too quickly impressed people. It’s not that great. Dean misses a charge into the corner and eats the superkick, only to hit the rebound lariat before going down. This brings in Kevin Owens to throw Ziggler outside for the DQ at 12:21.

Rating: C+. Way too happy fans aside, this was a smart way to go for the first match on a show in Philadelphia. There’s a group of wrestlers that they’re going to cheer no matter what and these two are near the top. The match was good enough despite being little more than a bunch of spots going back and forth.

Owens powerbombs Dean twice and holds up the title. Ziggler tries to come in but gets kicked in the knee, followed by a powerbomb onto Dean as Owens stands over both of them.

We look at Stephanie slapping Reigns again. They’re making it very difficult for me to keep calm tonight.

Owens says he doesn’t have to justify himself to anyone because that was just the beginning. He isn’t going to stop until he drives Dean into an institution and takes back HIS Intercontinental Title.

The ECW guys are getting ready for their extreme rules match against the Wyatts. If this city has taught Bubba one thing it’s that you have to keep getting back up.

Stephanie is waiting on Vince.

R-Truth vs. Bo Dallas

O…..k? Truth shoulders him down and takes a victory lap early on. As the match is going on, we cut to the back where Vince arrives. It has been WAY too long since something has happened during a match on this show. We cut back to the ring where Dallas and Truth look terrified. Truth snapmares him down and here’s Vince while the match is still going on. Everything stops and Vince gets in the ring to tell both guys to get out of his ring, drawing one of the pops of the night. The match ended at 3:27 but no rating of course.

Vince talks about Reigns sweating in the back because he might get fired. That’s enough for now though as he goes and sits at ringside, saying Roman is going to sweat a bit more. After a break, Vince calls Reigns down to the ring to take his medicine. Reigns comes out (down the ramp for a change) and Vince demands an apology for what Roman did to HHH last night. Roman smirks a bit so Vince threatens to beat him up right now. There goes the jacket but here’s Sheamus to interrupt before it goes any further.

Sheamus wants to be the one that beats an apology out of Reigns but the fans cut him off with the YOU LOOK STUPID chant. On behalf of Vince’s Irish coat of arms, Sheamus wants to challenge Reigns for tonight. Sheamus knows he can beat Reigns at any time, so let’s make it a title match. Vince asks the fans if they’re interested but there’s no chance that’s happening. Reigns wants to know why not and thinks it’s because the old man’s grapefruits have shriveled to prunes. That’s too far for Vince so it’s on for tonight. However, if Reigns doesn’t become champion, he’s fired. Vince kicks Reigns low and leaves.

Alberto Del Rio/Rusev vs. Ryback/Jack Swagger

Lana is actually at ringside during a League match for a change. Ryback starts fast with the delayed vertical suplex for two on Rusev. It’s off to Del Rio for some kicks in the corner and Ryback stands perfectly still as Alberto runs across the ring for the enziguri. Some stomping sets up a chinlock from Alberto as the fans are really not interested here. It’s hard to bore a Philadelphia crowd but they’ve managed to pull it off.

The fans try a WE THE PEOPLE chant and Ryback responds with a suplex to Rusev, setting up the hot tag to Swagger. Jack makes the comeback with his usual and gets Rusev in the Patriot Lock, only to get caught in a Backstabber. Ryback gets thrown out and back to back superkicks give Rusev the pin on Swagger at 6:35.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here (thank goodness) and the League continues to be a lame group that is effective yet boring. At least Swagger took the fall here instead of Ryback, who can’t take too many more falls before he loses any credibility he might have built up over the summer. Well any more of it that is as most of it is already gone.

The Rosebush talks about the Charlotte/Becky Lynch situation and Tommy Dreamer being offended by Rose saying he spray tanned. Apparently Dreamer’s skin is as thin as his hair.

Tyler Breeze vs. Neville

I’m off to watch one of their great NXT showdowns instead of this likely nothing match. Before we start, here’s Miz to direct the match and call for the bell. Neville works on a headlock to start as Miz tells him to crank on the head. We hit a chinlock instead until Breeze comes back with some stomps as we keep cutting to Miz. Tyler puts on his own front facelock as Miz tries to lead some Neville chants. Neville fights up again and nails a great looking (and sounding) superkick, setting up the Red Arrow for the pin at 4:55.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but is clearly part of a longer story. Miz and Neville are an intriguing pair as they both need something to do so why not try something new? Speaking of something new, how about WE STOP JOBBING BREEZE??? Did they really just need a new midcard jobber and that’s the only reason they called him up? That’s the best they can do for someone that worked that hard in NXT? What a shame indeed.

Neville is getting annoyed at Miz after a break but Miz suggests that Neville could be a superhero in the next Star Wars movie. However, he needs Neville to teach him his accent so he can be the next James Bond. Neville still isn’t interested and walks off.

The Wyatts promise to bury the ECW guys.

Wyatt Family vs. Tommy Dreamer/Rhyno/Dudley Boyz

Extreme rules. The Wyatts surround the ECW guys to start as JBL acts like ECW was the greatest thing of all time. Bubba and Dreamer lead the house cleaning and it’s time for some weapons. Back in and the Dudleys give Rowan What’s Up but Harper comes in for a save with the superkick. Dreamer hits him with a few hard objects and loads up a superplex, only to have Strowman pull him to the floor. Bubba completes the superplex but Rowan makes it a Tower of Doom sending Harper down onto the chair as we take a break.

Back with the Wyatts in control until Rhyno cleans house. Dreamer gets to do the baseball slide into the dropkick in the Tree of Woe on Harper and Bray is knocked into the crowd. Strowman gets thrown over the announcers’ table and Bubba follows Bray into the crowd. Harper is on the stage with Dreamer but his powerbomb is countered into a Death Valley Driver through a pair of conveniently placed tables. Strowman helps Bray against Bubba until Dreamer makes the save with a kendo stick. That’s fine with Strowman who powerslams Dreamer through part of the barricade.

Bubba beats Bray up near the announcers’ table and throws the cover on him. Back in the ring (finally) and the Dudleys beat up Harper until Luke fights them off with relative ease and loads up a table. Bubba runs back in for 3D but Bray makes the save and gives D-Von Sister Abigail on the floor. Rowan returns with a spinwheel kick to Bubba but Rhyno suplexes him down. The Gore hits knee though and Sister Abigail plants Rhyno. Rowan loads up a table and a top rope splash sends Rhyno through the wood for the pin at 15:33.

Rating: B. This was WAY more fun than it had any right to be and thank goodness the right team won. They had me believing that the ECW guys were going to win here and riots would have been justified. Instead this was much more of a treat for the live crowd and a pretty fun match for the most part, especially seeing Tommy Dreamer in pain. Good stuff and a really fun surprise.

We recap the Reigns story for the night.

Here’s New Day for their latest celebration. Big E. and Kofi are limping after last night and Woods says they’re not in a mood to party for once. We see some stills of the bigger crashes and the fans cut Kofi off with a NEW DAY ROCKS chant. Kofi is so messed up that he couldn’t even do the full skip clap on the way to the ring. They invite the Usos to the ring and Woods gets right to the point by saying the Usos have earned New Day’s respect.

A truce is offered but the twins aren’t buying it. Instead Big E. asks the Lucha Dragons to come out here as well. Kofi praises Sin and says the Dragons are his son’s favorite tag team. Kalisto calls that a really nice speech but asks about Woods throwing his trombone at him for a save. Xavier can’t change the past but last night these three teams took the tag division to a new level and it was for the fans.

Again the handshake is offered and this time they’re actually accepted. The four of them leave and Woods insists that they were being sincere, but tonight it’s ALL ABOUT THE NEW DAY! It’s time to dance so the Usos and Dragons come out to beat them up. That’s really heelish of them (though it won’t be considered as such) after they lost last night in a No DQ match and New Day really didn’t do anything bad tonight.

Brie Bella/Alicia Fox vs. Becky Lynch/Charlotte

Team BAD is in the front row and Ric Flair is with his daughter. Brie avoids a Charlotte charge in the corner to start and sends the champ head first into the buckle. We hit a very early chinlock followed by the YES Kicks for two. Charlotte gets over for the tag to Becky and everything breaks down. With the referee distracted, Ric trips Alicia and Becky grabs the Disarm-Her for the submission at 4:26.

Rating: D. I have no idea who I’m supposed to cheer and who I’m supposed to boo. So Becky knew that Charlotte cheated to retain last night but is still friends with her after Charlotte blew her off last night. Then Charlotte’s dad cheats instead of Charlotte to pin Alicia, who was doing the Daniel Bryan kicks for a guaranteed face reaction despite being a heel (I think?) at the moment. This division MAKES NO SENSE. Oh and did Team BAD do anything to warrant being at ringside?

The Prime Time Players shill merchandise for Christmas.

We look back at last night’s main event.

Vince talks to the League of Nations, again minus Barrett.

WWE World Title: Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns

Sheamus is defending, Roman is fired if he doesn’t win the title and Vince is at ringside. Reigns takes him right to the corner for the clotheslines and the fans are behind him for a change. A quick Regal Roll sends Reigns outside and Sheamus slams him onto the table as we take a break. Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock and suplexing Sheamus for a breather.

Sheamus sends him to the apron but Reigns snaps the throat across the top and hits the apron boot. A Samoan drop is broken up so Roman just takes him to the middle rope for a bigger drop. The Irish Curse gets two so Reigns lifts Sheamus up for two off a powerbomb. Sheamus slams him down in turn and puts on the Cloverleaf (Not the Texas Cloverleaf but rather the old Edgecator. That’s a bad name.), sending Roman over to the ropes.

The fans are still cheering for Roman and a Superman punch knocks Sheamus silly. Vince pulls the referee out at two though and Sheamus grabs White Noise for two. Dang they’re getting close on these kickouts. Vince grabs the referee and tells him something. Sheamus pushes Reigns to the floor and here comes the League with Rusev kicking (a bloody) Reigns in the head.

Back in and Sheamus ducks the Brogue and hits another Superman punch to the champ and one to knock Vince silly…..only to eat a Brogue Kick for a VERY near fall. This is AWESOME drama and the best stuff they’ve had since Rollins vs. Ziggler at last year’s Survivor Series. Sheamus loads up another Brogue and walks into a spear to give Reigns the title at 16:55!

Rating: B. The wrestling is totally inconsequential here as they NAILED the drama and the story here. This was exactly what needed to happen for a long time now and Reigns is totally over with the fans, at least at the moment. I’m actually in shock here and the moment was exactly what it needed to be. Well done WWE, which I wouldn’t have believed I’d be saying a week ago.

The announcers put this over as a huge moment as Roman celebrates, including kicking Vince out to the floor. I do love the fact that the solution for Reigns was to make the show as bad as they possibly could so the fans would cheer him by default. It sounds bad but dang if it didn’t work. The show actually ends with Reigns as champion and no shenanigans.

Overall Rating: B+. This show had the most important thing a show can have and that is uncertainty. I didn’t know what was going to happen in the main event (or the extreme rules match for that matter) and that’s where they have you. The idea behind wrestling (most of the time at least) is that you shouldn’t be able to know what’s coming but you want to see what’s coming. That’s how I felt for the main event. I really didn’t know what was happening and I wanted to find out.

The energy was way up for this show and it made for the best week in months. It’s no classic or anything, but it addressed one of the biggest issues they’ve had a long time: going through the motions with almost nothing interesting happening. There’s a long way to go until we get to the Rumble but this was a big step in the right direction.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Kevin Owens interfered

R-Truth vs. Bo Dallas went to a no contest when Vince McMahon stopped the match

Alberto Del Rio/Rusev b. Jack Swagger/Ryback – Superkick to Swagger

Neville b. Tyler Breeze – Red Arrow

Wyatt Family b. Dudley Boyz/Rhyno/Tommy Dreamer – Top rope splash through a table to Rhyno

Becky Lynch/Charlotte b. Alicia Fox/Brie Bella – Disarm-Her to Fox

Roman Reigns b. Sheamus – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Tables Ladders and Chairs 2015
Date: December 13, 2015
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’ll close out the pay per view calendar with some good violence on one of the shows full of the shows full of gimmick matches. The main event in the namesake match is Sheamus defending his World Title against Roman Reigns in what should be a brutal fight between two power guys. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Sasha Banks. vs. Becky Lynch

This would be another unannounced match because the Divas Revolution isn’t important enough to mention in advance. Sasha gets the huge hometown pop and we get a little 12 Days of Christmas from Team BAD, which they thankfully cover with the final verse. None of the lines are funny enough to mention but you have to expect that with something WWE thinks is amusing. This would be your nightly attempt to make Team BAD into the second New Day. You know, because when you look at Tamina, she just screams charisma.

They start fast with some nice rollup attempts until Lynch headscissors her down. Sasha doesn’t get high enough on a leapfrog and crashes down on her face but it’s not enough to get the Disarm-Her. The announcers talk about Paul Heyman praising Becky as she takes Sasha down with an armbar. Banks finally drives her into the corner and avoids a charge, setting up the double knees (I don’t remember the last time she got to use that) to the back.

We take a break and come back with Sasha nailing the Backstabber into the Bank Statement but Becky gets to her feel and eventually rolls out before the hold can go on full. They trade more rollups for two each until a Regal Cutter takes Lynch down for two more. A pumphandle suplex gets the same on Sasha and there’s the Disarm-Her. Cue Tamina for a distraction so Naomi can kick Becky in the chest, setting up the Bank Statement for the submisison at 11:41.

Rating: B-. This felt like an NXT match on the big stage which is how things are supposed to go. They were finally allowed to try some of their submission stuff instead of having the same Divas matches they always have, even with the Naomi and Tamina interference. I can’t wait for the day when Sasha is finally allowed to go on her own because this UNITY nonsense is really holding her down. Other than “we don’t have anything else for them to do”, why is she still stuck with Tamina and Naomi? Good match here though and hopefully a sign of things to come tonight.

The opening video is Reigns standing there while clips of his path through the tournament and Sheamus’ cash in play behind him. The video game themed promo? Nowhere to be seen. The simple yet effective Christmas present themed video that ended the pre-show? Not on here either because why be creative when you can be generic?

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Lucha Dragons vs. New Day

Ladder match with New Day defending. I’m not sure why they’re going with their hottest match to open the show but at least the first fifteen minutes should rock. Before the match, Kofi asks Woods why there’s no special hair tonight but Xavier wasn’t about to waste a good hair day on Boston. With tonight’s win, they will secure their spot as the faces of the division because who else can do it? The Lucha Dragons are too small and the Usos sound like a disease. Woods sits in on commentary and we’re finally ready to go.

Kofi and Jimmy start fast with one ladder being slid inside and another being…..dropped back down to the floor. Back in and it’s a double springboard with Kofi and Kalisto landing on the ladder. A double save is made so the Dragons moonsault from the middle rope to take the champs down. The Usos are all alone so they load up a ladder but knock the Dragons off the apron instead of going up.

They throw the ladder onto the guys on the floor and dive on top of them as JBL loses his mind at how stupid that was. Kofi gets thrown to the floor but Big E. runs the ladder over as the champs take over again. We get the Unicorn Stampede to Jimmy with a ladder in between, meaning it’s time for some tromboning. Jey’s save is countered with a belly to belly onto the ladder. The Dragons are back up but Big E. stops their ladder (upside down here) and drives them back into the corner. Kalisto gets smart and dives over the ladder to take Big E. down.

Cara rides the ladder down onto Kofi and takes out the Usos with a running Swanton over the top onto a ladder. The Dragons climb the ladder with Big E. underneath but he bench presses the ladder in an awesome display of strength. Kalisto dives onto the Usos again but they throw him down before dropkicking the ladder into Big E. in the corner. We get the mini ladder as Kofi breaks up a Superfly splash from Jimmy. Woods: “That’s what being a veteran ladder match haver can do for you!” Back up and Kofi gets caught in the Tree of Woe for a running Umaga Attack from Jimmy, leaving the twins all alone.

We get a big staredown between all the challengers with the Dragons taking over, including a monkey flip into the 450 to send Kalisto onto the ladder onto Jey. Woods: “WHY???” Kofi comes back in (with Woods saying it’s due to the rest building up his stamina like in WWE2K16) and wedges a ladder into the runs of a standing ladder.

That earns him a hurricanrana to send Kofi face first into the side of the ladder. Woods: “Our paintbrushes are fists and feet and you’re about to see Kofi do some fantastic art!” Back in and all four challengers climb up with Jey and Kalisto slugging it out on top. In the totally insane spot of the match, Kalisto gives Jey a Salida Del Sol over the top of the ladder and through the bridged ladder, sending Woods (and the crowd) into shock.

Somehow Kalisto isn’t dead and climbs up for a slugout with Jimmy but Big E. makes the save and stops Jimmy’s charge with a forearm (Woods: “LOOK AT THAT TRICEP MEAT!”) but a baseball slide into the ladder puts Big E. down again. Kalisto is all alone but Woods declares the match No DQ (in case there was any confusion beforehand) and hits Kalisto in the back with the trombone, allowing Kofi to retain the titles at 17:46.

Rating: A. Well that’s your match of the night by about a mile. That Salida Del Sol was absolutely nuts and one of the best spots they’ve done in years. I’m glad New Day retained because they’ve earned the right to keep the titles a bit longer, and maybe even a program with Enzo and Big Cass. Imagine the promos on that one.

We recap Rusev vs. Ryback, which is built around Rusev being all romantic with Lana and Ryback wanting to fight.

Ryback vs. Rusev

Rusev forearms him down to start and they quickly head outside with Ryback getting the better of it before taking Rusev back inside for a top rope ax handle. Some right hands in the corner set up a powerbomb from Rusev and it’s time to slowly stomp on the back. We hit the chinlock as Cole talks about Lana saving herself for marriage to Rusev. They fight over a suplex until Ryback takes over after about the tenth try, followed by a middle rope dropkick for two.

The Shell Shock is broken up so Ryback gets two off a high cross body instead. Points to him for trying some new stuff at least. Lana offers a distraction to break up the Meat Hook though and Rusev superkicks him down. Back in and the Accolade is broken up, only to have Rusev kick him in the head to get the hold on for the knockout at 7:56.

Rating: C-. I’m so tired of seeing either of these guys built up only to lose to another upper midcarder because they have no idea how to build up anyone else. The match was a decent enough power brawl but I have no idea how many more times they can go with the Lana injury idea before it gets even less interesting than it is now.

Reigns and Ambrose are ready for tonight and can’t wait to see Sheamus and Owens beaten down so they can walk out as double champions.

Quick recap of Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger which is mainly over Zeb Colter, who split with Del Rio on Monday.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio is defending and this is a chairs match. Both guys grab chairs to start and we get the early duel. That goes nowhere so they head outside to fight among the dozen or two chairs set up. Del Rio is sent into one face first time after time until he its Jack in the throat to take over.

A Backstabber gets two for the champ but Jack throws a chair at him. The Vader Bomb is blocked and the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Del Rio. They head outside again with Alberto burying him under a pile of chairs and then throwing even more on top. Back in and the armbreaker is broken up with Swagger sending him shoulder first into the post for two more.

Swagger wraps a chair around the leg and puts on the Patriot Lock (meaning the chair doesn’t change anything) until Del Rio falls out to the floor. The powerslam sets up the Vader Bomb for another near fall. Jack throws in about ten chairs but Del Rio counters into the armbreaker over the ropes. A bunch of chair shots to the back sets up the top rope double stomp onto the chairs to retain the title at 11:19.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t bad but again this was such a mess with such an uninteresting story that there’s almost no way the match can be good. The finisher is still stupid, the chairs match gimmick is even worse (maybe) and the fans never bought the idea that Del Rio was going to lose. At least Colter wasn’t involved though.

We recap the ECW guys vs. the Wyatt Family. The Dudley Boyz were the Wyatts’ latest targets due to whatever bizarre reasons the Wyatts had this time (as usual they aren’t really clear). This meant the Dudleys had to bring in Tommy Dreamer and Rhyno to even things out, setting up an elimination tables match.

The ECW guys says they’ve seen it all over the years and now they’re here fighting one more time because hardcore is forever and age is just a number.

Dudley Boyz/Tommy Dreamer/Rhyno vs. Wyatt Family

The ECW guys go right at them to start and thankfully there are no tags. It’s already weapons time and the fight is quickly on the floor. We get a really bad looking sequence where Bubba puts a trashcan in front of his face so Strowman can punch it back at him. That was horrible. Strowman starts cleaning house until all four fight back. Rowan comes in and puts D-Von on a table but gets shoved off the top as the table breaks anyway. That’s not an elimination because it wasn’t an offensive move, which goes along with the rules these matches have had over the years.

3D puts Rowan through the table for an elimination but Bubba is clutching his knee. Bray and Harper come back in to take over as Bubba’s knee is good enough to go after Strowman on the floor. Rhyno suplexes Bray and Harper but Bray stops the Gore with a cross body. A big boot puts Rhyno through the table and we’re tied up again. Harper takes D-Von to the top but Bubba is back in to turn it into a Doomsday Device. Bubba goes after Strowman on the floor and D-Von gets another table, only to have Bray slam him through it for an elimination.

It’s down to Bray/Braun/Luke vs. Bubba/Dreamer. That means it’s time for kendo sticks and a cheese grater between Braun’s legs. Bubba and Dreamer bury him under a table for no apparent reason, leaving Harper to put Dreamer through a table with a suicide dive. Sister Abigail is broken up with some stick shots to the head and now it’s time for fire. Bubba covers a table with the fluid but Braun comes back in to chokeslam him through for the win at 12:30.

Rating: C+. This was fun enough and I can live with Rowan getting eliminated because no one cares about him in the first place. At least the Wyatts get a win and the jobbers did the job like they were supposed to. Hopefully this is almost it for Dreamer as he has little to offer outside of hardcore matches. Rhyno can do some good enough stuff on his own and might be worth keeping around, but they need to phase the ECW guys out again.

The pre-show panel recaps the show and throws us to the first Royal Rumble ad.

Intercontinental Title: Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

Owens is defending after Ambrose beat him in a non-title match last month and then won a triple threat match on Smackdown. That’s about it for the recap because there’s barely a story here. Before the match, Owens laughs at Boston fans for bragging about the success of their sports teams because none of them actually did anything in the first place. Dean might have thrown popcorn and soda in his face on Monday, but no matter what happens tonight, this is going to be the Kevin Owens Show.

Owens kicks him in the back to start so Dean punches him in the face. A belly to belly gets two for Owens and we hit the early chinlock. Dean fights up with a suplex but can’t hit Dirty Deeds. Instead it’s a clothesline to put Owens on the floor for a suicide dive. Owens pops right back up for a fall away slam and the backsplash on the floor, leaving Dean to dive back in at nine. Another backsplash hits knees but the top rope elbow is countered into a nice German suplex.

The Cannonball misses though and now the top rope elbow gets two. Dean’s superplex is countered into a middle rope Regal Roll and the kickout stuns Owens. The Pop Up Powerbomb is broken up and Dean grabs Dirty Deeds, only to have Owens touch the bottom rope for the break. Dean is stunned and walks into the Pop Up Powerbomb, only to counter into a hurricanrana for the pin and the title at 9:10. Lawler: “He’s going to be on cooking shows! He’s going to be on soap operas!”

Rating: B-. I wish they had let Owens keep going as champion but at least they FINALLY let Dean have something. This was treated as a big deal and could lead somewhere, assuming you believe the Intercontinental Title could actually mean something instead of being a title that is traded around every few months with no one getting anywhere as a result.

Dean celebrates quite a bit.

We recap Charlotte vs. Paige with Charlotte turning mostly heel and Paige not really turning anything new. Charlotte is embracing her inner Flair and Paige isn’t cool with that, setting up this title match.

Divas Title: Charlotte vs. Paige

Charlotte is defending and has her dad with her again. Paige knees her in the face to start and Charlotte hides behind her dad on the floor. Ric gets yelled at for a bit, allowing Charlotte to trip Paige as she comes back in and drop some more knees. We hit a front facelock on Paige as the fans aren’t thrilled with this so far. Paige’s sleeper attempt doesn’t go anywhere and it’s time for Charlotte to go after the knee. We see Team BAD, dressed as Team PCB for no logical reason, watching the match in the back.

Ric pulls off a turnbuckle pad but Charlotte doesn’t seem pleased. Paige uses the distraction to hit a running knee to the ribs and slap on her own Figure Four until Charlotte quickly rolls over. Back up and Charlotte hits a spinning top rope cross body, only to get caught in a fisherman’s suplex for two.

Something like a Rampaige from her knees gets two for the champ but the spear hits a knee to the face. Now the Rampaige connects on Charlotte but Ric pulls Paige’s leg under the ropes. Even JBL admits that this one happened. Charlotte uses the distraction to get the rest of the buckle pad off though and Paige goes face first to retain Charlotte’s title at 10:44.

Rating: C. As usual the psychology was way off here because they have no idea if Paige is a face or a heel. Charlotte is definitely doing better at the moment but Ric really needs to get out of here because the stories are becoming more about him than Charlotte, who actually needs the exposure. The match wasn’t bad but they needed some better focus.

After an ad for Kay Jewelers, Becky isn’t happy with what Charlotte did. Charlotte offers to make it like old times again but does the pinky swear with her dad instead and laughs at Becky.

Long recap of Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns, which is mostly about Sheamus cashing in his Money in the Bank last month and forming the League of Nations soon afterwards.

WWE World Title: Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns

TLC match with Sheamus defending. Sheamus charges into a right hand to start and Reigns pounds away on the mat. The fans are chanting for Cena early on, despite this being a pretty solid show so far. It’s almost like they’re never happy no matter what they’re given. They head outside with the champ being whipped over the barricade and into the timekeeper’s area.

The ladder is bridged between the announcers’ table and apron but Sheamus hits him in the back with a chair to get a breather. The fans think Sheamus looks stupid but at least it’s better than the Tater Tot chants. Instead of going for the title, they fight up the aisle with Sheamus going through a bunch of tables and chairs for a crash. Reigns takes too long though and Sheamus backdrops him through a table. Sheamus gets back inside for the first climb but has to come back down to throw a ladder at Reigns.

The apron kick is countered by another shot to the face and a big White Noise puts Reigns through a table. They finally get back in with Reigns taking another ladder to the back but of course he’s still able to powerbomb Sheamus onto the ladder. Reigns knocks him back to the floor and hits something like a Superman punch off the steps with a chair to the head. Back in again and the regular Superman punch is countered into the Irish Curse as the fans just do not care. Like it’s disturbing how little they care here.

The fans chant for NXT as Reigns powers out of the ten forearms to the chest for a Samoan drop through the bridged ladder (clearly made of wood). That gets the fans back but they boo Reigns out of the building as he climbs again. JBL asks if Reigns is finally going to do it, basically admitting that the five minute title reign means nothing. A quick Superman punch drops Sheamus again but he pulls Reigns down again. Now it’s Sheamus going up but Roman nails another Superman punch off the ladder (cool spot) to knock Reigns through a table.

Reigns goes up and here are Rusev and Del Rio for the save. You knew that was coming sooner or later. Rusev takes him to the floor for the Accolade but Reigns fights out again and Superman punches both guys, only to eat a Brogue Kick from Sheamus. We get the slow climb and Reigns is back again, only to have Sheamus pull the title down and kill the crowd even deader than they already were at 24:00.

Rating: B. The match was fun but we all knew what was coming at the end and there was no way around it. I’m not even going to bother going on a rant about how stupid this is because there’s nothing left to say about it. This story and feud is horrible and it just keeps going because we need the PERFECT moment to put the title on Reigns permanently. What WWE doesn’t seem to realize (or acknowledge because I can’t believe they’re this dumb) is that the moment has already passed multiple times and the Reigns chance is gone.

The League (minus Barrett, who must be busy tonight), poses until Reigns spears them all down and beats them up with a chair. Reigns isn’t done yet (like, he won’t even listen to Stephanie shouting STOP!) and powerbombs HHH onto (not through) the announcers’ table. That sums up Reigns’ career so perfectly. An elbow puts HHH through the table as the announcers freak out that someone could touch the boss. Fans: “THANK YOU ROMAN!” HHH is helped out but Reigns runs back to ringside and spears HHH down to finally end the show.

This worked for many reasons, but there’s one at the top of the list: emotion. Instead of going by what the script says which may or may not make sense, there was a logical progression of Reigns being pushed to his limit too many times and FINALLY snapping like a 6’4 gladiator would do if he kept dealing with stuff like this. Stuff like that is always going to work and it did here.  Of course there are still a dozen problems with the show and this doesn’t solve most of them but it was a cool moment.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a very back and forth show with the opener obviously being the high point but the rest was like a boat that was trying to get through a bad storm. It had some good moments and there was definitely more good than bad but the main event was just death due to the horrible build. The violence and carnage carried things as it almost does but they still need a lot of changes. This worked for one night though which is a lot more than you can say most of the time.

Results

New Day b. Lucha Dragons and Usos – Kingston pulled down the titles

Rusev b. Ryback – Accolade

Alberto Del Rio b. Jack Swagger – Top rope double stomp onto a pile of chairs

Wyatt Family b. Dudley Boyz/Tommy Dreamer/Rhyno last eliminating Bubba Ray

Dean Ambrose b. Kevin Owens – Hurricanrana

Charlotte b. Paige – Pin after Paige was sent into the exposed turnbuckle

Sheamus b. Roman Reigns – Sheamus pulled down the title

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Now this is an interesting one as the TV shows are disasters right now but TLC is one of the few shows a year that is almost always worth watching due to the levels of violence and carnage. It’s very much a show built around the in ring action instead of the stories building up to it and that’s exactly what WWE needs right now. Let’s get to it.

Since there’s no pre-show match announced yet (though I can’t imagine we don’t get Breeze vs. Ziggler AGAIN), we’ll jump into this at random and save the main event for the end.

The Wyatts have to go over the ECW guys. Like they have to. As in there’s no way can’t. This should be the biggest layup in the history of big layups and I hope I’m not getting overconfident with it. One would have thought that Fourtune going over EV 2.0 back in 2010 would have been a layup too but Tommy Dreamer pinned AJ Styles because of reasons. Thankfully it’s elimination rules so a fluke is less likely, meaning I’ll go with the Wyatts.

Alberto retains over Swagger in his first defense of the title since he won it back in October. There’s always a chance that the Colter breakup is either a swerve or to set up a reunion with Swagger, but I still can’t imagine that they’re going to put the title on a loser like Jack. The fans wanted to boo Del Rio but he’s right back to being the same dull guy he’s always been. Either make him a big face like he was doing in 2013 (which I still really like) or let him be a jerk who gets to talk about something other than being Mexican. I’ll take Del Rio to retain but watch out for a swerve here.

Rusev over Ryback because they need to push Rusev as a threat for some reason. This Lana reunion isn’t getting them anywhere, which was what I was worried would happen after all those months of people saying “just put them back together” because this isn’t the same dynamic they had in the first place. It’s almost impossible to put a monster back together after he loses (which would apply to both guys here) and they’re not getting anywhere by having Rusev be the same guy he is while getting to make out with Lana. Rusev wins and no one cares.

Charlotte retains over Paige and I guess I’m supposed to boo the champ here. This story has gone from Paige being a jerk over Charlotte’s brother to Paige being just kind of there while Charlotte rants about how awesome her family is. We’re just killing time until we FINALLY get to Sasha Banks on top of the division, or Nikki returning and being all fearless and such. But yeah Charlotte keeps the title here.

Owens keeps the title over Ambrose because we need to have another instance of two guys splitting a series, likely setting up a third match at the last Raw of the year. Why? I have no idea, but WWE loves itself some meaningless trilogies. Thankfully the first match was good so maybe the rematch can be too, but it’s a pretty big drop to go from the main event of one show to a midcard title match on another. It’s almost like WWE doesn’t care much for Ambrose and is going to put him out there to put someone else over every single time and then wonder why his reactions get quieter and quieter.

Then we have what should be the match of the night with New Day defending against the Lucha Dragons and the Usos. Despite a lame buildup with the Usos kind of being forgotten the whole way through, this should be a blast as we have three teams who can fly with the best of them flying with the best of them. Just let these guys go nuts and do a bunch of crazy high spots on a ladder for fifteen minutes and the crowd can go nuts as a result. New Day retains because who are the other teams going to fight since there are almost no other heel teams on the roster with anything.

Finally we have one of the lamest main events in the history of modern wrestling as Sheamus defends against Roman Reigns in the TLC match. Now this has the potential to be AMAZING with two big power guys just beating each other up for twenty five minutes. If there’s one thing Sheamus is good at, it’s having a big power brawl with another guy capable of having a big power brawl. I don’t believe for a second that they actually change the title here as the League will likely interfere at the last minute but at least we’ll have a good match until we get to the lame ending.

Overall TLC could be subtitled “just try and have fun”. The booking is horrible at the moment and a lot of changes need to be made, but it’s pretty clear that we’re not going to get that anytime soon. However, it does seem like we could get something fun this time with the violence and carnage that comes with this show every year. I know it won’t fix everything or even a lot of the problems, but a night of fun brawling and insanity can take our minds off a lot of WWE’s current issues. It’s almost impossible for things to get much worse now so let’s just hope for the best and have some fun.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Let’s get this over with. This past week’s Raw was nothing short of a disaster as the show simply isn’t getting better the people are leaving in droves at this point. There’s no secret that this week’s show was one of the weakest in a long time and did very little to make me want to see Sunday’s pay per view. Let’s get to it.

The show opened with the League of Nations talking about how they were going to take care of Reigns and pals on Sunday. This brought out the Wyatt Family and I was immediately interested. They said they were here for the chaos and a brawl was teased, which could have made things a lot more interesting with the Wyatts moving up to the main event and possibly turning face, meaning we could drop this ECW reunion idea that has been done a doze times.

But no, because that might be too interesting. No instead we got the ECW guys coming out again (with Rhyno coming in to even things up), only to be joined by Reigns and company. This opened up some new dynamics for where the teams could go and the promos could have been interesting.

But no, instead of letting them talk or build up ANYTHING, the match was joined in progress when we got back with everyone in the match at once. Why bother with building something up when you can just give us everything right now and leave nothing to look forward to later tonight? Dreamed pinned Rowan, Sheamus Brogue Kicked Bubba and Reigns speared Sheamus to win, because SCREW YOU World Champion, you need to lose to Reigns like everyone else.

Much like the rest of this show, this was pretty good wrestling with a big middle finger to the fans at the same time. You’re excited about the Wyatts moving up the card again after seeing them get knocked down for the last year and a half? HAHA too bad because you’re getting the ECW reunion instead. You want to see Reigns actually deal with some issues? HAHA too bad because he beat the League on his own last week and then his team beats them here. Don’t worry though because he’ll lose another title shot on Sunday, which is supposed to erase all of Sheamus’ losing over the last few weeks and months.

Instead of trying to give the fans something they’re interested in, WWE is obsessed with just plowing ahead with their back and forth booking that doesn’t get anyone anywhere and that the fans reject more and more every single week. Teasing the Wyatts in the main event scene as faces (an idea the fans LOVED) and then pulling the string on it again is even worse than just leaving it as is. It continues to show that WWE knows what we want to see but would rather go with whatever nonsense they have instead because THAT’S WHAT WE’RE GETTING NO MATTER WHAT.

We’re long past the point where WWE needs to keep teasing something. At this point the show and the company are ice cold and desperate for something to fire it up. Maybe that’s the Wyatts in a face run or whatever, but putting them out there and then having them lose to the ECW guys while Sheamus loses AGAIN before retaining AGAIN on Sunday isn’t the solution, which WWE still doesn’t seem to get. I don’t know when something is going to change, but it’s going to be a long road to the Royal Rumble is that’s when we can finally expect a change.

Stardust and Titus O’Neil did their weekly thing. Again, I’ve stopped caring about this until it actually goes somewhere.

In another good match that did little to advance anything, Kevin Owens pinned Dolph Ziggler, who then pinned Tyler Breeze on Smackdown. So we have Owens coming off looking good while Ziggler is still a loser but Breeze, the young guy who came in hot, looks like even more of a loser because he has to trade wins with DOLPH ZIGGLER. Dolph has been around forever and has lost to almost everyone but Breeze has to lose a series to him because he has to pay main roster dues or something because toiling in NXT for years doesn’t count.

It doesn’t help that this is right around the same time that HHH said on a conference call that they don’t bring up people from NXT without a plan for them. WHAT WAS THE PLAN FOR BREEZE THEN??? The ONLY thing he’s done is continue the Summer Rae story despite there not even being a story there anymore. Is that what they’re going to claim the plan was? If so, we might have set a new benchmark for stupidest line/biggest lie the company has told.

Breeze came up from NXT and is already floundering because they didn’t have anything for him to do and now he’s stuck looking like a loser who loses to the jobber to the stars. Now am I supposed to buy him as a midcard threat? He has no story and a losing record, but I’m supposed to care about him? WWE has made it clear over the years that Ziggler isn’t going anywhere long term (they had him beat the Authority and gave him the Sting rub and he was right back where he was two months later) and now they’re putting him over Breeze? Why? Who does this help? Certainly not the fans as I’m sure you’ve figured out already.

Oh and then Dean Ambrose came out and threw a Coke in Owens’ face because Dean is WILD AND CRAZY. I’m sure Owens retains on Sunday though because he needs to get his win back after Ambrose beat him at Survivor Series and we need to make sure no one looks stronger than anyone else.

Donny Deutsch seemed to end the Miz/Neville story by offering Neville a spot on his new sitcom. Well that’s better than turning Neville heel at least.

Team BAD beat Team Bella because THIS IS STILL A THING. We’re stuck with Charlotte and Paige trying to figure out which one we’re supposed to cheer (more on that later) while Sasha, the most over woman in the division because she tore the house down with Bayley time after time is stuck shouting UNITY with Tamina and Naomi. Yes Naomi, who they’re STILL not doing anything with other than HAVING FUN MAGGLE because she uses the Rear View.

This was yet another five minute match that had nothing interesting, nothing going anywhere, the Bellas having no idea if they’re good or bad, and Sasha being wasted. Charlotte vs. Paige is fine, but the fans want to see Sasha, who could be swapped in for either of the two Divas fighting over the title without missing a beat. Oh but she doesn’t have Ric Flair so that’s out of the question.

New Day came out and did their comedy thing before doing the champions losing thing. Yeah this time it was to the Lucha Dragons to set up the ladder match on Sunday because there was NO OTHER WAY to do this than have the champions lose. Having the Usos vs. the Dragons in a show stealer with the New Day interfering for a no contest so everyone looked equal was totally off the table of course.

MizTV had Charlotte, Ric Flair and Paige as guests. Charlotte is now doing her entitles better than you character from NXT which is what got her over in the first place. Unfortunately no one has any idea if Paige is going to be the heel in this feud or not, despite her doing the whole Reid Flair promo. As usual, the match will be ok if they’re allowed to tear it up but for some reason we’re likely going to have the focus on Ric, just as it always is. It’s another idea that could go somewhere but since they can’t just figure something out, we’re still sitting through a lot of wheel spinning.

Ryback and Rusev’s rematch went to a double countout when Lana was run over again. Here’s this whole feud in a nutshell: Rusev loves Lana, Lana keeps getting hurt and Ryback is fighting Rusev because the script says he’s supposed to. That’s the kind of idea that worked in the Muppet Movie, not on a wrestling show that we’re supposed to buy as real (or as real as it can be in modern wrestling). This is yet another story that is ice cold and has no one behind it because they’ve pulled the rug from under Ryback so many times that it’s almost impossible to get behind him again.

Jack Swagger beat Stardust in a quick match which was only there to allow the split between Zeb Colter and Alberto as well as to set up the chairs match stipulation on Sunday. I don’t think anyone is going to miss Zeb and Alberto as a team but I’m also hoping this doesn’t lead to Zeb and Swagger reuniting. Much like Ziggler, Swagger is such damaged goods that it would be a waste of Colter’s talents when he could build up someone fresh for a change.

Braun Strowman squashed Tommy Dreamer just like you would expect him to. You can forget about the Wyatts vs. the League. That really was just a tease at the start of the show.

Then we get to the part of the show that people remember the most. Roman Reigns came out to challenge Sheamus and the champion followed, only to take forever saying that he wouldn’t get in until the weapons were out. By that I mean he talked about EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. They finally started fighting and the whole thing took twenty minutes, capped off by a spear to put Sheamus through a table to end the show.

For once, and I emphasize FOR ONCE, this wasn’t on Sheamus and Reigns. Austin and Rock at their best would have had trouble getting this segment over. Either that or they would have said screw it and started doing something entertaining instead. It was long and stupid with Sheamus still looking like a coward while Reigns still doesn’t give me a reason to care about him.

The fans were walking out on the segment and I certainly can’t blame them. How was this supposed to make me want to see the match on Sunday? Yeah instead of actually fighting, let’s stand around while they TALK! I can’t remember the last time I saw an episode end this badly, but the worst part is WWE doesn’t seem to understand why it was bad. You had a big match earlier in the show but instead of doing that, they ran with it in the first thirty minutes in a failed attempt to keep the fans away from Monday Night Football. I don’t know who thought this main event was a good idea but they need to be fired, because this was horrible.

This was a show that felt a lot more fun live, but looking back on it there are so many major holes in what they were doing. WWE is in desperate need of a new direction and we’re not going to get it anytime soon. Instead we’re stuck sitting here watching another heel champion run away like a coward while Reigns is STILL waiting on his big moment (which he probably gets at Wrestlemania in a rematch with Lesnar that won’t work).

They need to figure this stuff out and give us something to cheer for already. Maybe that’s John Cena, but something needs to happen before the end of the year because I’m terrified of how low things could get before then. Raw was bad this week, but not bad in the traditional sense. This was bad in the “why am I wasting my time on this” sense, which is the worst thing they can do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 7, 2015
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, Charleston, South, Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for TLC and the big story continues to be Roman Reigns and company vs. the League of Nations. There’s still a lot of the card to be set for Sunday but as usual, you can see most of it from here. The show isn’t looking bad and if they put enough violent gimmicks on the card, everything should be fine. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Sheamus vs. Reigns and last week’s main event. Thankfully Reigns beating them on his own on Smackdown is omitted.

Here’s the League, now with their own music. Sheamus says he can’t look stupid if he’s the World Champion. As for this Sunday, how can he be afraid of defending the title against Reigns if he already beat him in 5:15? The WWE has entered the International Era and Sheamus lists off the four countries represented in the League. You’ll notice there are no Americans, because in 2015, America just isn’t good enough anymore. Sheamus says they’re the best of the best…….and we’ve got the Wyatts?

The fans immediately chant YES for the Wyatts. Bray says they haven’t been introduced because the League of Nations just lives in Bray’s world. They’re here for the chaos but here are the Dudley Boyz and Tommy Dreamer to interrupt. That was close. They almost had something interesting there before we get ANOTHER ECW reunion. Bray says they’re not getting the message that they’re outnumbered. Actually they’re multiplying because here’s Rhyno to even things up. Dang I was hoping for Dudley clones. Before they can get to the ring, here are Reigns, Ambrose and the Usos to make it sixteen people at once.

Dudley Boyz/Tommy Dreamer/Rhyno vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Usos vs. League of Nations vs. Wyatt Family

Elimination tag with one man from each team in the ring at once. Harper is quickly sent to the floor as Del Rio takes down Ambrose. It’s off to Jimmy beating on Rusev as D-Von is down in the corner and Harper tags in Bray. There are basically two matches going on at once. D-Von tags in Rhyno for some clotheslines and a suplex to Jimmy.

Strowman comes in to clean house and it’s off to Dreamer, wearing some Dusty Rhodes polka dot pants. Braun is knocked to the floor, allowing Rusev to take Dreamer down. The Usos load up a double superplex on Rusev but Strowman makes it a Tower of Doom with Dreamer being taken out in the process. Rowan tags himself in and takes a quick DDT from Dreamer for the elimination as we take a break. Thank goodness they got rid of the more interesting team so quickly.

Back with Del Rio beating up Jey and Dreamer until Tommy grabs a neckbreaker on the now legal Sheamus. Bubba comes in with a Rock Bottom for two on Sheamus but all twelve come in for a huge brawl. We get down to Rhyno vs. Reigns for a showdown but Rusev and Sheamus break it up. Rusev walks into a 3D and the Dudley Boyz set for What’s Up, only to have Sheamus Brogue Kick Bubba for the second elimination.

Things settle down to Sheamus vs. Ambrose but Rusev tags himself in before anything can happen. Dean goes off on Rusev with strikes (Saxton: “Ambrose is a different piece of toast), followed by the standing elbow drop for two. Back from another break with Sheamus firing off the ten forearms to Jey’s chest until Reigns makes the save.

It’s off to Rusev for a bearhug before Barrett misses a charge in the corner, allowing for the hot tag to Reigns. The fans are WAY behind Roman here (it’s an old NWA town so faces are popular and heels are hated) as he powerbombs Del Rio and Superman Punches Barrett and Alberto. Everything breaks down with a big series of dives and Del Rio gets Reigns in the armbreaker. Jimmy comes in with a Superfly splash for the save and it’s a spear to Sheamus for the pin at 21:36.

Rating: B-. Fun brawl here but the League of Nations is now 0-2 as a four man team and the already weak looking World Champion got pinned when you have three others who could take the fall. Rusev doesn’t even have a match on Sunday and he can’t take a pin here? Another good idea (like having the Wyatts out there) with questionable booking (like having them go out first) bringing it back down a bit when it didn’t need to.

Post break, Sheamus says that’s the closest he’s coming to losing the title. He’s going to smash Reigns up and he’ll give us a preview tonight.

Stardust is raving about Hollywood when Titus O’Neil comes in to say Stardust needs to get some. Well Eden is probably here tonight…….but Titus means some Stardust time, such as reading a good book and having a bottle of wine. Stardust goes on another rant and Titus leaves.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens

Non-Title and Tyler Breeze/Summer are here. Kevin trips him down to start and grabs a front facelock as Ambrose is in the back watching (while eating popcorn and drinking a soda). We hit the chinlock on Dolph until Ziggler counters into a rolling three quarter nelson for two. Ziggler dropkicks him down but gets clobbered in the face with an old Vader style forearm to the face.

They head outside with Ziggler’s headbutt not having much effect. The fall away slam into the barricade give Kevin three straight near falls and it’s time for some big right hands to the head. A kick to Dolph’s face gets two as Dolph keeps pulling himself up. Owens sends him shoulder first into the post for a nine count on the floor. The backsplash gets two more and Dolph falls back to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Owens slapping on a chinlock until Ziggler fights up and avoids a charge to send Owens shoulder first into the post for a change. Kevin is just fine and sends Ziggler out to the floor to try another countout. Dolph starts getting up again though so Owens goes outside, only to take the running DDT on the floor. Back in and Owens throws him with a release German suplex but misses the Cannonball. The Fameasser gets two and they trade superkicks with Ziggler falling on top for another near fall. Owens is right up though and it’s a Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin on Ziggler 19:07.

Rating: B-. Another good match here but it felt more long than anything else. Ziggler continues to be entertaining enough but you’re not going to get anything more than the same stuff every single time he’s out there. I’m really not sure why Breeze needed to be out here as he was just watching instead of actually doing anything. At least we get the TRILOGY match on Sunday because that’s all anyone wants to see right?

Post match Ambrose comes out and throws his popcorn and soda in Owens’ face.

The Wyatts are ready to crush the ECW guys. Strowman wants to become Dreamer’s nightmare later tonight.

Miz comes in to tell Neville that his offer of mentoring was serious on Smackdown. Donny Deutsch (star of a new show on USA) comes in to offer Neville a spot on his show. He gives Neville his card and tells Miz to get back to him in a few years. Miz gives Neville his card but Neville throws it away.

Alicia Fox/Brie Bella vs. Sasha Banks/Naomi

Fox and Banks start things off with Alicia grabbing a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. It’s off to Naomi who takes one as well to send Team Bad out to the floor. Tamina trips Alicia to take over and it’s a dropkick from Naomi for two. We hit the chinlock from Naomi, followed by another one from Sasha. Back up and Alicia rolls over for the hot tag to Brie. It’s time for the YES Kicks before everything breaks down. Another Tamina distraction sets up the Rear View for the pin on Brie at 5:28.

Rating: D. I’m so sick of these matches. We’ve seen them do the same stuff every single week for months now and nothing has changed except for the numbers. Naomi is still doing the same “HAVING FUN” offense, Banks is still as good as anyone in the division and Brie still has no idea if she’s a face or a heel. You would think they would learn at some point but it hasn’t happened in months now.

Post match New Day comes out to give Team Bad their own unicorn horns and everyone dances. Ok then.

The New Day is still in the ring after a break to talk about giving back. They’ve given a donation to the League of Nations and some baby names to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for their new son. Then they have to give two different teams a Tag Team Title shot on Sunday in a ladder match. Why do they need ladders? They’re not house painters and they’re not saving cats from trees. We get a quick New Day Theater with Big E. playing a tree and Kofi playing a kitten. Woods says that New Day is a group of grown men and saves Kofi from the tree, end scene.

Lucha Dragons vs. New Day

Non-title, Woods is on the floor again and the Usos are on commentary. Cara and Kofi get things going with Kofi throwing him out to the floor for a suplex from Big E. Woods lays on the floor next to Cara and plays some trombone as we take a break. Back with Big E. missing a splash into the corner before it’s off to Kalisto for some rapid fire kicks and the corkscrew cross body to Kofi.

The comeback is short lived though as Kofi takes him into the corner again, only to have Kalisto come back with a sloppy headscissors. The (not) hot tag brings in Cara to really take over off a standing moonsault to Big E. Kofi is legal though and kicks Cara down, only to have the Usos get in a fight with Woods (Jey: “BEAT HIM LIKE HE STOLE SOMETHING!”). The distraction lets Cara roll Kofi up for the pin at 6:36.

Rating: C. That would be the second time in an hour and a half that a champion has been pinned to set up a title match on Sunday. I beg of you WWE, please find something new. There are other ways to set up something like this and it’s getting annoying to see this happen every single time.

The Usos leave with the horns and the trombone. So now they actually did steal something. SOMEONE BEAT THOSE TWO MEN LIKE THEY DESERVE!

After a recap of the opening match, Reigns says he’s fine with having a lesson from Sheamus, even though he has no idea what Sheamus could teach him.

We look back at Charlotte faking an injury to beat Becky Lynch last week.

It’s time for MizTV with guests Charlotte and Ric Flair. Charlotte takes over the introduction for her father and says Miz has ten minutes of Rolex time. Ric says he’s so proud and promises to be in his daughter’s corner at TLC this Sunday. That brings Miz to Charlotte’s new attitude, which sends her off on a mini rant about Miz being sexist. Miz shakes it off and asks about the match on Sunday, bringing up Paige costing Charlotte her friendship with Becky Lynch. He stays at it by asking about Paige saying Charlotte is only here because of her father.

Ric gets up at that but Charlotte yells about Paige, promising to destroy her on Sunday. This brings out the third guest and Paige really doesn’t look too upset. Ric says this is just a ploy so Charlotte goes outside. Paige slaps him in the face and does the strut. Ric: “Get her!” Charlotte charges but Paige runs to end the segment. So…..am I supposed to cheer for either of these two or is this another SHADES OF GRAY story that is in no way a method to keep the writers from having to figure out who they want to turn face?

We look at Reigns pinning Sheamus again.

Ryback vs. Rusev

Rematch from last week. Rusev chills on the floor to start and gets back in at nine. Ryback shoves him right back to the floor as Rusev is holding his back from earlier. Tired of waiting, Ryback busts out a corkscrew plancha (seriously). Ryback: “WE’RE HAVING FUN!” A quick backdrop sends Ryback over the top again and Rusev snaps the arm over the top as we take a break.

Back with Rusev still on the arm by bending it around the ropes and sending it into the post. Ryback’s comeback includes some shoulders followed by a flying shoulder to really mix it up. A middle rope dropkick (better than Brie Bella’s) gets two for Ryback and it’s time for a chase around the ring. Ryback runs Lana over by mistake (Lana may have intentionally gotten in his way) and hurts her ankle again, freaking Rusev out. He throws Ryback in the Accolade on the floor and it’s a double countout at 10:37.

Rating: C. Ryback was trying with some fresh offense out there (always appreciated) but he’s fallen back through the floor in importance again. That’s what happens when you build someone up on a short term basis, have him lose his two big matches and then do nothing with him for weeks. Oddly enough it’s the inactivity that hurts worse than the loss to Kalisto in the tournament.

Stardust vs. Jack Swagger

Titus is on commentary and this is joined in progress after a break with Swagger putting on the Patriot Lock. Stardust makes the rope as Del Rio and Colter come out, allowing Stardust to throw the arm into the post. Some choking on the ropes has Swagger in trouble but he comes back with clotheslines and a powerslam. The Patriot Lock makes Stardust tap at 2:40.

Post match Del Rio nails Swagger. Titus yells at Del Rio to watch out for Stardust so Alberto hits Stardust with a chair. Swagger grabs his own chair and knocks Alberto’s out of his hands before sending Del Rio running off. Jack asks Zeb what he’s thinking but Colter drives off.

This week’s Rosebush is about Miz wanting to mentor Neville. Apparently Miz wants Neville to be recast in Dumbo. Speaking of animals, we saw the return of Rhyno this week. This followed Tommy Dreamer’s, now with a golden tan. He thought he had baby oil but it was really Becky Lynch’s hair dye. This is still such a waste of anything Rose could do.

In the back, Del Rio yells at Colter for causing him to trip and drop the chair. Alberto says he doesn’t need Colter and threatens to use the chair on him. Colter claims that Del Rio wouldn’t be champion without him and drives off. So they’re split now, thank goodness.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Braun Strowman

Braun throws him around to start and drives in some shoulders to the ribs. We hit the nerve hold for a bit before the standing choke puts Dreamer away at 2:46. Total squash at a slow pace.

Here’s Reigns for the big showdown with Sheamus. Reigns asks where Sheamus is before talking about climbing the ladder with his Shield teammates over the years. He’s on top of the ladder and calls Sheamus out for a beating again. Cue Sheamus to say that Sunday is going to be a sequel when he beats Reigns down just like he did at Survivor Series. Reigns is ready right now but of course Sheamus doesn’t want to do it tonight.

Roman wants to know where Sheamus’ potatoes are because all he sees are tater tots. That brings Sheamus charging but he stops in front of the three tables laid against the apron. Sheamus promises to build a castle from all the broken toys on Sunday. Reigns challenges to fight him again tonight but Sheamus knows all Roman wants to do is use the weapons. That’s fine with Reigns (“Hold on a second tater tot”) who throws out all the goodies, one at a time to drag this out far longer than it needs to be.

Sheamus still won’t get in so Reigns keeps talking and it’s FINALLY on after nearly ten minutes of talking. Reigns gets the better of it at first and loads up the announcers’ table, only to have Sheamus take over and send him into a ladder (which Sheamus has to grab before it falls into the crowd). They fight into the crowd and then up to the entrance where all the tables and ladders are set up.

Sheamus blocks a powerbomb and hits him with a chair to take it back to ringside. Roman is thrown over the announcers’ table but comes back with a spear through one of the many tables to end the show. WAY too long here for what they did but points for not having everyone else come out and letting this be about the two of them for a change.

Overall Rating: C-. This was one of the fastest shows I can remember in a long time. The first two hours felt like they took half an hour and the last third wasn’t bad. Unfortunately the majority of the show was ok at best with the action being the biggest problem by far. The wrestling was just ok and a lot of the booking made my head hurt. They did a good job of setting up the pay per view but it was far from an entertaining show outside of that. Not the worst or anything, but a totally forgettable show.

Results

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Usos b. Wyatt Family, Dudley Boyz/Rhyno/Tommy Dreamer and League of Nations last eliminating the League of Nations

Kevin Owens b. Dolph Ziggler – Pop Up Powerbomb

Naomi/Sasha Banks b. Brie Bella/Alicia Fox – Rear View to Bella

Lucha Dragons b. New Day – Rollup to Kingston

Ryback vs. Rusev went to a double countout

Jack Swagger b. Stardust – Patriot Lock

Braun Strowman b. Tommy Dreamer – Standing choke

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6