Monday Night Raw – November 30, 2015: League Of Trombone Playing Nations

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 30, 2015
Location: CONSOL Energy Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

We’re closing in on TLC and things aren’t in the best place at the moment. Roman Reigns is challenging Sheamus but also has to deal with Rusev and King Barrett who attacked him last week. That’s really all we have right now but a lot of the pay per view card will likely be set up tonight as the show is in less than two weeks. Let’s get to it.

We open with confetti falling and here comes New Day to stand on a red carpet in the ring. Big E. knows we’re wondering whose birthday it is and even though it’s actually Naomi’s birthday, this is about a NEW DAY. Instead of a birthday, tonight is a gala, a jubilee if you will. Big E. starts to sweat so Woods gives him a Terrible Towel (the symbol of the Pittsburgh Steelers) to clean up. Today marks a new champion: the shamrock shaking ginger giant Sheamus.

Here’s the new champ, in a suit with his hair slicked back this week. Sheamus thanks the New Day for introducing him and then thanks the Authority for giving him this chance. Finally though, Sheamus wants to thank Roman Reigns. If Reigns had only accepted HHH’s handshake, he might have this around his waist. Sheamus does a bit of dancing (Kofi: “The hips don’t lie baby!”) and New Day is amazed at the title changing hands after only 5:15. It’s time for more posing with fireworks but here’s Reigns to Superman Punch Sheamus and walk off with the title. They’re already better than they were last week as this was fun.

Reigns is with Ambrose and the Usos in the back when the Authority comes in. They make him give the title back and Reigns says he’s coming for the title at TLC. That’s not soon enough for Sheamus though because he wants to defend the title tonight. The catch: there’s a 5:15 time limit.

The announcers explain everything we just heard thirty seconds ago. WE’RE NOT THIS DUMB WWE!

Dolph Ziggler vs. Tyler Breeze

Probably time for Breeze to job again so Ziggler can get his win back. Breeze takes over to start and sends Ziggler into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. We hit a front facelock as the announcers talk about the title match instead of anything in front of them. Ziggler fights up but goes shoulder first into the post as we take a break. Back with Ziggler fighting out of a front facelock and ducking an enziguri.

Breeze counters a hurricanrana into a powerbomb but Dolph slips out, only to nail another enziguri for two. Dolph’s superkick is countered into a catapult, followed by a modified backstabber. For some reason this makes Ziggler hold his shoulder again but he’s still able to counter the Unprettier into a pinfall reversal sequence for some near falls. Back up and Ziggler nails a quick superkick for the pin at 10:33.

Rating: C. Yep you knew it was coming. How did you know it was coming? You knew because this is what WWE does. Breeze got one over on Ziggler so that means it’s time for Ziggler to get one over on Breeze because Breeze might get too popular (despite losing almost all of his other matches) and that must be stopped, meaning we have two guys who are hitting .500 and wonder why neither is over. Such is life around here because this company is stupid.

It’s time for MizTV with guests Rusev and the returning Lana. Rusev is here first and says this isn’t about the USA. The fans want Lana but Rusev says she’s his wife and his alone. Rusev rants about loving her and brings out Lana, who looks exactly like she did about a year ago. Miz asks why this happened after everything they’ve been through but Lana says the past was forgiven when Rusev proposed. Seeing what else was out there just made their love stronger.

Lana NEVER went all the way with Dolph, drawing a YES YOU DID chant from the fans. Rusev didn’t go all the way with Summer either. All he did was break her heart, just like he’s going to break his opponents apart. Rusev and Lana kiss but here’s Ryback for Rusev’s next feud.

Ryback has no business here and no connection to anyone in the ring but Cole and company act like this is totally expected because their script says it’s supposed to happen. Apparently they had a scheduled match, but Cole only threw that in as an aside. Tell us this when Ryback’s music hit so we’re not trying to figure out what’s going on. Anyway Ryback says we fight here so the match is on.

Ryback vs. Rusev

This is joined in progress with Rusev in control. Ryback fights back and hits a missile dropkick of all things. They fight to the floor with Lana getting knocked down, meaning Rusev stays outside for the countout at 1:45.

Rusev blames Ryback for Lana being hurt.

Ambrose has been called into HHH’s office so HHH can tell him that if Reigns doesn’t win in 5:15 tonight, Ambrose loses his Intercontinental Title shot as well. Reign has to learn that his actions affect his friends as well and what better way to show him?

Here are the Dudley Boyz with some tables leaned up against the ropes and covered in black sheets. The Wyatt Family has beaten them up for the last week, including chokeslamming Bubba through a table last week. So many teams have tried to put the Dudley Boyz down and the Wyatts have come very close but they’re still standing and breathing. They pull the sheets off and each one has a Wyatt’s name. D-Von reminds us of the three commandments: thou shall not steal, thou shall not kill and thou shall not mess with the Dudley Boyz.

They’re ready to fight at anytime so here are the Wyatts so Bray can accept the challenge. He advises them to never invite the devil into your backyard because he might stay. Bubba says it looks like the Wyatts have the advantage but the Dudley Boyz have their own family. Cue Tommy Dreamer of all people and the Wyatts bail.

Wyatt Family vs. Tommy Dreamer/Dudley Boyz

Bray is the odd man out here and it’s joined in progress again. D-Von is in early trouble but punches his way out and tags in Dreamer, who walks right into a swinging Boss Man Slam from Harper. Rowan puts on the head vice but misses a splash, allowing for the cold tag to Bubba (D-Von was too busy clapping to put his hand out). Everything breaks down and the referee throws it out at 3:33.

Rating: D+. Of course it was Dreamer. It’s always Tommy Dreamer. When all else fails, there is no one else on the planet that you can bring in for a hardcore match with ECW people involved than Tommy freaking Dreamer. If this is a one off thing or even a two off thing at the pay per view (which it likely is) then fine but this could have been a good introduction for someone new. Instead it’s an old name for the Wyatts to beat up while giving the fans a very cheap pop.

It’s time for a table but Bray gets knocked off the apron and through one instead, allowing the good guys to escape and preserve the ECW legacy for one more night.

We recap the opening segment.

Goldust vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title AGAIN. Before the match, Colter says the fans are too concerned with rats on Mars and Anne Hathaway being pregnant. Goldust punches Del Rio in the face before he can say anything and we start fast. A powerslam and spinebuster get two each on Del Rio but Goldust misses a charge in the corner, setting up the top rope double stomp for the pin at 2:00.

Post match Del Rio puts Goldust in the cross armbreaker until Jack Swagger makes the save.

Becky Lynch thinks she and Charlotte could have a great match, non-title of course. They WOO at each other and Ric is here too.

Usos vs. Lucha Dragons

Winners get the title shot, presumably at TLC. New Day is on commentary here as well. Kalisto takes Jimmy down for two to start before Jey comes in for a double elbow. Big E. starts with his reporter voice as the Dragons hit their monkey flip into a 450 for two. Cara speeds things up again as everything breaks down. Kalisto gets backdropped onto Jey but Jimmy takes him down with a big dive. Cue Cara for his own dive but the New Day runs in for the no contest at 2:55.

New Day says that means no title match and it’s time to dance.

Post break, Stephanie makes it a three way match at TLC, but if the Usos want in, Reigns has to win as well.

Brie Bella vs. Sasha Banks

Another Twitter induced match. Team Bad has a new thing where they put their fists together and shout UNITY in falsetto voices. Brie takes over to start but Sasha drops her in a hurry. Alicia gets sent into a superkick and Brie gets sent into the buckle for two as this is already a step off. A clothesline gets two on Brie and we hit a cross arm choke. Brie fights up for her middle rope dropkick and the YES Kicks. Not that it matters as the Bank Statement is enough to make Brie tap at 4:57.

Rating: D. I really wasn’t feeling this one as Sasha seemed like she had to slow things down for the sake of letting Brie keep up with her. That’s the problem with the division right now: half the matches get time but half the matches have to be slowed down and cut short because not everyone is on the same level. This didn’t work for me though and they need to let Sasha get away from Tamina and Naomi already.

Ambrose and the Usos fire Reigns up. It’s going to end in a brawl and we’re going to get an eight man tag for the real main event aren’t we?

WWE World Title: Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns

Sheamus (now in a Sheamus 5:15 shirt) is defending and this match has a 5:15 time limit with Ambrose and the Usos’ title shots on the line. The champ tries to bail to start so Reigns rolls him up for some early near falls. Sheamus takes it to the floor and sends Reigns into the barricade as the clock is ticking. Back in with less than four minutes to go and we’re under 4:00.

Reigns fight up and hits a boot to the face as we’re under three minutes. Sheamus can’t escape up the ramp and a Samoan drop gets two. They head outside again with two minutes left and Reigns is thrown over the announcers’ table. Sheamus gets posted but the time is ticking away. Roman finally gets him back in with a minute to go. The Superman Punch is loaded up but Rusev pulls him to the floor at 4:40.

Rating: D+. Yeah this was obvious. You knew they weren’t going to change the title on Raw (because that might make people watch) so let’s just do this and then set up the obvious eight man tag later on in the show. Sheamus vs. Reigns is fine and they’re doing what they can with it but Sheamus losing again at the pay per view is going to make it even worse.

Barrett, Del Rio and Rusev huddle around Sheamus, who calls the four of them the League of Nations. Cue the Usos and Ambrose to even things up and Sheamus gets punched off the apron.

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Non-title with Paige on commentary and Ric Flair in Charlotte’s corner. Becky grabs the wrist to start and takes Charlotte down with a headlock takeover. Charlotte pops up and it’s a standoff as Ric struts on the floor. They hit the mat for more headlocking until Charlotte chops her in the stomach. The neckbreaker sets up more chops but Becky kicks her in the chest. Paige gets annoyed at all the questions and threatens to put Byron in a submission on the table right now. Charlotte twists an ankle coming out of the corner but it’s all goldbricking, allowing Charlotte to grab a rollup for the pin at 4:40.

Rating: C-. So they might be turning Charlotte heel? That’s their big solution? Becky continues to lose, but they’re at least offering some shades of gray here to make things a bit more interesting. Hopefully Ric is just a one off appearance here because he doesn’t need to be around Charlotte, who is good enough on her own. Just don’t have her talk live again.

Becky is stunned and more than a big annoyed.

The eight man tag is announced for the main event.

Post break Becky wants to know what that was but Charlotte calls it strategy. This isn’t NXT anymore and everyone needs to step it up. They’re still friends though. Charlotte leaves and Paige comes up to gloat a bit, leaving Becky conflicted.

Adam Rose has a gossip segment called The Rosebush. Rose thinks Rusev wears the bra in his relationship with Lana and suggests that Ziggler loves both Summer Rae and Breeze.

Titus O’Neil sings Christmas carols to Stardust and tells him to get in the Christmas spirit before shoving him down. We’ll go with a holiday ok then here.

Usos/Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns vs. League of Nations

The good guys don’t get an entrance. We’re not quite ready to go yet because here’s the New Day to announce they’re now part of the League of Nations to make this a 7-4 handicap match. Kofi and Dean get things going and it’s Ambrose in early control with left hands in the corner. It’s off to Jimmy vs. Woods and the Usos and Reigns start a quick Unicorn Stampede to turn the tables. The big staredown takes us to a break.

Back with Del Rio kicking Jey into the corner and tagging out to Woods. A clothesline gets two and it’s off to Rusev for some stomping on the leg. The beating continues with Sheamus for the ten forearms to the chest. Reigns finally tries to make the save but Jey has to save himself with an uppercut to knock Kofi out of the air. The hot tag brings in Jimmy to clean house but Big E. clotheslines him from the apron. Jey is holding his knee on the floor as we take another break.

Back again with Jey having been taken to the back because of his knee. Jimmy is still taking a beating but he finally gets away to make the tag to Reigns as house is cleaned. Everything breaks down though and Reigns hits the apron kick to Kofi and Xavier, only to have Del Rio send him into the barricade. That means it’s time for Reigns to get beaten down, including a knee drop from Sheamus for two.

Big E. puts Reigns in an abdominal stretch for some rhythmic slapping to the ribs. Reigns gets run over again and it’s off to Del Rio for a chinlock to keep this slow. We see Jey on the floor, because when Cole meant he was taken out he meant he was down. Close enough I guess.

Reigns finally gets up and makes the hot tag to Ambrose to take everyone out. Dean dives off the top to take out New Day and Barrett before a suicide dive does the same to Sheamus. The Superman Punch drops Del Rio and Reigns adds a clothesline to Barrett but seemed to be holding his knee. Back in and a Brogue Kick puts Ambrose away at 25:10.

Rating: B-. This was a good brawl to end the show and make the League of Nations seem like a threat for a change. I’m not sure why New Day needed to be in there but anytime those three are on my TV I’m happier than I was otherwise. Sheamus getting the pin is a good idea, but you would think an Uso would have been a better option. Good, long match though and a much better option than just Rusev vs. Reigns from last week.

Post match Reigns comes in for the save (thankfully his leg seems fine) but gets beaten down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The major difference here is simple: there was a point to almost everything. Last week felt like they were just throwing out random stuff to fill in time and that’s not how Raw is supposed to go. This week felt like they were building up to something instead of just wasting time until the next big show came. There are still a lot of problems with the show but it helps to have a point to stuff. Reigns vs. Sheamus is looking better, but you can see the screwjob from here.

The rest of the show was hit or miss at best, but there was enough good on here to make it work. The key thing here is it was better than last week, which really isn’t a hard bar to get past. They’ve done a good job of setting up TLC as you can see most of the card from here and the League of Nations is a good idea but the show is still hitting its head on a low ceiling because these stories don’t have a lot of room to go anywhere.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Tyler Breeze – Superkick

Ryback b. Rusev via countout

Dudley Boyz/Tommy Dreamer vs. Wyatt Family went to a double DQ when all six brawled

Alberto Del Rio b. Goldust – Top rope double stomp

Usos vs. Lucha Dragons went to a no contest when New Day interfered

Sasha Banks b. Brie Bella – Bank Statement

Roman Reigns b. Sheamus via DQ when Rusev interfered

Charlotte b. Becky Lynch – Rollup

League of Nations/New Day b. Usos/Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose – Brogue Kick to Ambrose

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




So Let Me Make Sure I Have This Straight

It’s even more proof of how out there WWE is at the moment.

You have the Wyatts vs. the Brothers of Destruction in a two on two match at Survivor Series and THE NEXT NIGHT they start a Dudleyz vs. Wyatts program.  I would ask if I have to draw you a picture here but anyone should be able to figure this out.




Smackdown – November 26, 2015: Thanks For Something No One Will See

Smackdown
Date: November 26, 2015
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Booker T., Rich Brennan, Jerry Lawler

First of all, Happy Thanksgiving. We’re in a strange period at the moment as we’re waiting on TLC and the fans don’t seem to be thrilled. Sheamus is World Champion again as Roman Reigns somehow managed to get screwed out of the title again. Those five minutes he held the title were the only five minutes a true good guy had held the title since Summerslam 2014. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Reigns to open things up with a table, a ladder and a chair in the ring. Reigns talks about wrestling with the Usos in the house, in the yard, at the beach and all over the streets. Their favorite spot was always on the trampoline though because they would always dream of winning the World Title. That actually happened this Sunday but it was a short dream because Sheamus crushed his face with a Brogue Kick.

This brings out Sheamus, which is probably best as they’re keeping Reigns’ talking short. Sheamus calls Reigns a walking Adele song and says he’s been in elevators longer than Reigns was champion. You can’t even heat up a frozen burrito in the time Reigns held the title. The fans (or at least the ones recorded and played back here) don’t like these comments so Sheamus goes on about Reigns’ success this past Sunday. All Reigns had to do was shake HHH’s hand on Sunday but Reigns speared the boss instead. That was all Sheamus needed to see before he came down to the ring and snatched the title away.

Reigns says come down here and see what happens in five minutes. Sheamus comes down but of course stops and laughs. He’ll see Reigns in his nightmares, fella. Reigns wants a preview of TLC, where he’s going to break Sheamus’ jaw with a Superman Punch. Then he’ll break his back with a chair and powerbomb him through a table. When Sheamus can’t get up, Reigns is going to climb up and win the title all over again. This was good and would make for an awesome midcard title feud, but Sheamus just does not fit as the World Champion after how horribly he’s been booked in recent months. You can’t just erase that time.

Dudley Boyz vs. Erick Rowan/Braun Strowman

Sequel to Monday where Harper and Wyatt beat the Dudleyz. D-Von hammers on Rowan to start and clotheslines him into the corner for the tag off to Bubba. Strowman is requested though and Bubba grabs a headlock. That actually works for a few seconds before Strowman throws him into the corner and blasts Bubba with a clothesline. Rowan wraps Bubba’s arm around the post and we take a break.

Back with Strowman staying on the arm. A guy his size working on an armbar really doesn’t look right. Rowan kicks Bubba in the face but eats a clothesline, allowing for the tag off to D-Von. Some clotheslines put Rowan down and everything breaks down. It’s table time but Harper comes in with a superkick for the DQ at 9:25.

Rating: C. Totally fine but I’m over the Wyatts at this point. There’s no reason to believe that this is going anywhere but at least they’re fighting a team they could conceivably beat. The long term solution for the Wyatts is to have them actually win something as they don’t have any real accomplishments to make you believe they could pull off something bigger.

Post match Strowman chokes D-Von out and puts him through the table.

New Day shills merchandise better than anyone since DX.

Becky Lynch vs. Paige

Becky armdrags her around to start and a dropkick puts Paige on the floor. Back in and some legdrops get two each for Becky but a quick fall away slam gives Paige control as we take a break. Back with Paige cranking on both arms before missing a big kick to the head. Becky’s t-bone suplex gets two but she can’t get the Disarm-Her. Instead Paige sends her throat first into the middle rope and grabs a rollup for the pin at 9:03. It sounds a bit lame but Paige couldn’t get her feet onto the ropes to cheat, which would have made it a lot better.

Rating: C-. The ending hurt it as it Becky just got pinned off a lame move but at least they were trying. Paige probably should have grabbed some trunks or something to save the scene but it’s Smackdown on a holiday so they’ll be lucky to only set a new record for viewership futility. Not very good, though it’s nice to see Becky getting ring time for a change.

The New Day is holding a potluck dinner and Big E. is in a chef’s hat. The Divas seem more interested in his tricep meat and it’s time to dance while they clap THANKS TO US. Heath Slater brings in Slater Slaw but Big E. finds a Band-Aid. Adam Rose offers some rabbit stew to freak Big E. out even more. The Ascension brings desolation and destruction so they’re thrown out.

There’s a disagreement over who was supposed to bring the turkey but here’s Gobbledy Gooker, as played by Xavier Woods. It was the Gooker’s anniversary this Sunday too and it’s time to dance. Lawler: “Somewhere the real Gobbledy Gooker is rolling over in his gravy.” Dang it Lawler stop making me chuckle at bad jokes.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

Non-title of course. Before the match, Colter talks about not knowing Swagger anymore due to Jack’s blind American loyalty. Del Rio says that Swagger is going to be thankful that he can walk out of the building. Alberto kicks him into the corner to start but a double leg takedown puts Del Rio on the mat.

Never mind though as he plants Jack with a DDT and stomps away even more. Then to really mix it up, he stomps away from the middle rope. A quick powerslam gets two for Jack and they head outside for a clothesline to put Alberto in the timekeeper’s area. Swagger looks at Colter so Del Rio chairs him in the back for the DQ at 3:08.

Rating: D. Dang it this is going to continue. Swagger is such a lame duck challenger and has been for years but that won’t stop them from pushing him as an American. I mean, it’s a really important and valuable character to have and it’s not like THEY COULD GIVE IT TO SOMEONE ELSE instead right? This was story advancement and likely a way to set up a chairs match for the title at the pay per view.

Post match Jack gets the chair and chases them off.

The Usos run into the Gobbledy Gooker and Jimmy has an idea.

Lucha Dragons vs. New Day

Non-title. The Gooker is accompanying Big E. and Kofi here. Kofi and Kalisto start things off as the fans seem to be behind New Day. Cara comes in and drops Kalisto into a backsplash for two as the Dragons take over. Kofi’s hurricanrana is countered into a sunset flip for two more but it’s quickly off to Big E. to change momentum. The Gooker gets on the apron for some dancing (Lawler: “A turkey twerk?”) and some interference by pulling Cara out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Cara suffering the Unicorn Stampede (it’s deadly you know) and the Warrior Splash for two. Another splash misses though and it’s off to Kalisto to speed things up. The hurricanrana driver plants Kofi and a springboard kick to the head knocks E. to the floor. Kofi tries a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes but the Gooker shoves them away, setting up a springboard Salida Del Sol for the pin at 8:25.

Rating: C. I think you know what’s coming after the match so I don’t think it’s a spoiler to suggest a triple threat tag match, preferably with ladders involved, at TLC. This is another match that didn’t have enough time to go anywhere but it could be entertaining if they were allowed to go somewhere.

Of course the Gooker is revealed as an Uso. The other one brings out Woods in his underwear with his hands taped together. The Usos superkick and splash the helpless Woods. Dude that’s evil.

Tyler Breeze is ready for his match against Dean Ug-brose and Dolph Ziggler. They’re just jealous of Breeze’s style and tonight it’s time to get gorgeous.

Undertaker anniversary video.

Renee Young (looking better than usual tonight) asks Dean Ambrose about his #1 contenders match for the Intercontinental Title tonight. Ambrose says the win over Owens on Sunday wasn’t luck and neither was Reigns beating him because Reigns was the better man. He doesn’t believe in luck though and tonight he’s winning because he’s the better man.

Tyler Breeze vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler

Winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot, likely at TLC. Champion Kevin Owens comes out to watch do commentary. Owens during Dolph’s entrance: “Hang on. He’s going to show the world.” Ambrose throws his hoodie at Owens but Kevin says the joke’s on Dean because now he gets a free hoodie. Breeze gets sent to the floor to start, leaving Dean to send Ziggler outside as well. Dean dives onto Breeze but gets superkicked down. Ziggler stares at Owens (“You want the hoodie?”) as we take a break.

Back with Breeze shoving Ziggler off the apron before focusing on Ambrose. The rebound lariat is broken up as Ziggler superkicking Ambrose when he’s bouncing off the ropes in a cool break. The Fameasser gets two on Ambrose and now the rebound lariat takes Ziggler down. Breeze throws Dean to the floor but gets taken down by Dean’s top rope elbow.

All three are back up so Dean and Ziggler try cross bodies at the same time, only to crush Breeze in the middle instead. Why that puts Ziggler and Ambrose down when they just hit a regular move isn’t clear. The Zig Zag gets two on Dean with Breeze making the save. There’s the Beauty Shot to Ziggler but Dean hits a quick Dirty Deeds to Tyler for the pin at 10:52.

Rating: B. Since when is Ziggler not allowed to do jobs in matches like this? The entire point to having him out there should be to avoid having the newcomer take a fall, but I’m sure they have BIG plans for Dolph in the future. This was a really fun match though with some actually fresh spots and Owens killing it on commentary. It’s really cool to see the midcard title getting some focus here and they would be well served by having more #1 contenders matches.

Owens and Ambrose stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was exactly what you would expect from a holiday show that no one is going to watch. Ambrose winning was the only storyline advancement, which is probably more than you would expect out of most Smackdowns. The New Day stuff was funny of course and the whole thing felt like a big, easy week, which is all it needed to be.

Results

Dudley Boyz b. Erick Rowan/Braun Strowman via DQ when Luke Harper interfered

Paige b. Becky Lynch – Rollup

Jack Swagger b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Del Rio used a chair

Lucha Dragons b. New Day – Springboard Salida Del Sol to Kingston

Dean Ambrose b. Tyler Breeze and Dolph Ziggler – Dirty Deeds to Ambrose

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1999: Austin Fell Down

Survivor Series 1999
Date: November 14, 1999
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 18,735
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The WWF is comfortably in control of the wrestling world but it’s not stopping them from putting their foot on WCW’s throat. They’re on fire at this point and they know it, which is a very dangerous thing. It will get even better for them in the future as more and more talent will start leaving WCW for the WWF but that won’t be as apparent until next year. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about the world title match tonight which they promoted knowing that it wasn’t going to happen. How classy of them.

Team Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Team Dudley Boys

Godfather, D’Lo Brown, Headbangers

Dudley Boys, Acolytes

The Dudleys (Bubba Ray and D-Von in case you somehow don’t know that) are brand new, having been around maybe a month or two. The Acolytes are Faarooq and Bradshaw and they just like to fight. This is the debut of Brown as Godfather’s partner in pimping. The Headbangers are dressed as pimps as well in a funny sight. Bubba still has a bad stutter here which was his whole gimmick for a few months. Godfather makes fun of him to tick the Dudleys off even further.

Bubba vs. Mosh (in afro) start things off. Bubba steals said afro but things speed up and the Dudleys are in trouble. A HARD clothesline takes Mosh down and it’s off to D-Von. The Dudleys were awesome at this point and were like nothing anyone had seen in years. Even their look was totally different and it worked very well. Off to Thrasher who has an afro held on with a chinstrap.

Bradshaw comes in and pounds away on Thrasher a bit before pounding him upside the head. Thrasher misses a corner charge and Bradshaw’s running clothesline eliminates him quickly. Off to Mosh vs. Faarooq with the latter missing a charge in the corner to little effect. Back to D-Von as Jerry talks about wanting ho’s for Christmas. Mosh hits the running crotch attack to D-Von but it’s off to Bubba via a blind tag and the 3D puts out Mosh, making it 4-2.

Brown comes in with a forearm to Bubba’s head and drops a leg for two. For absolutely no apparent reason, Bradshaw blasts Brown with the chair for a DQ, and does the same to Bubba as well, knocking him out cold. D-Von and Faarooq both want the pin and get in a fight over it, resulting in a double countout for a double elimination despite neither of them being legal. That would be the Dudleys’ first real feud.

Back in the ring Bubba gets two on Brown as it’s apparently 2-1 now. A suplex gets two for Bubba and it’s time for the bouncing punches from Ray. Brown comes back with a Sky High for two and loads up a top rope hurricanrana, only to get caught in an awesome middle rope sitout powerbomb for two. A double clothesline puts both guys down and it’s hot tag to Godfather. The Ho Train sets up the Low Down for the final elimination.

Rating: C. I remember reading someone say that Godfather was the perfect opening act because you were guaranteed a good pop whenever he was out there. The more I see of him in matches like this, the more I agree with that statement. The guy wasn’t great or anything but the fans loved him and he was always a fun character that you didn’t have to take too seriously. That kind of fun character is a great choice for an opener and this was a fine opener here too.

Remember that one of the best of all time debuting tonight? We get a video telling us how awesome his name is and how awesome his life has been so far. His name is Kurt Angle.

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Stasiak

Stasiak is most famous for being an idiot in the a few years’ time and being the son of the most forgotten world champion ever in Stan Stasiak. Never heard of him? I think that proves my point. Angle immediately hits a fireman’s carry takeover and the boring chants start about fifteen seconds in.

They head to the mat with Angle hooking a hammerlock. The fans chant for the Redwings because someone actually wrestling in a wrestling match is an evil idea to fans in 1999. Stasiak comes back with a clothesline and a vertical suplex for two. Off to a chinlock which Kurt escapes pretty quickly. Angle comes back with a clothesline and goes to get the mic. He demands not to be booed because he’s the best in the world.

Back in and Kurt hits something like a dropkick but is put right back into the chinlock. The hold is broken again and Angle comes back with a powerslam for two. Stasiak hits a lay out F5 but misses a top rope cross body. The Olympic Slam gets the pin and starts one of the hottest rookie years ever in wrestling.

Rating: D+. For a debut, this wasn’t great. However, this would be the start of one of one of the best careers of all time. Angle being serious wasn’t the right choice for him and it wasn’t until he became a total goof that took himself WAY too seriously while being stupid at the same time that he became the awesome Kurt that we know and love. It helped that he could go with anyone in the ring too.

We get a clip from earlier on Heat where HHH called Austin and Rock to the ring in an attempted ambush but the combined forces of Road Dogg and X-Pac didn’t stop two of the biggest stars ever. He wasn’t quite the Cerebral Assassin yet.

Team Val Venis vs. Team British Bulldog

Val Venis, Mark Henry, Gangrel, Steve Blackman

British Bulldog, Mean Street Posse

Venis is an adult film star and Gangrel is a vampire. Even JR says that Val’s team has nothing in common. The Posse is a group of three guys from Greenwich, Connecticut who wear sweater vests and never won a match that wasn’t a hardcore match that they won by mistake. I have no idea why this match exists but my guess is “we have no idea what else to do with these fifteen minutes.” Bulldog is European Champion here which is likely a title Val wants.

The captains start things off and after some quick offense from both, it’s off to Pete Gas (the Posse was Rodney, Pete Gas and Joey Abs). Pete is scared to death of having to actually wrestle so it’s back to Bulldog. Once Venis is down it’s off to Pete who hits a slingshot to send Val chest first into the buckle. A belly to back suplex gets two for Pete as Jerry asks where JR would get nice clothes in Oklahoma. JR: “Arkansas.” Off to Blackman for the only thing he could do: martial arts. A bicycle kick eliminates Pete in a hurry.

Off to Rodney who has even less luck against Blackman, immediately getting taken down. Gangrel comes in and gets caught in a crucifix for two before realizing he’s fighting Rodney. He pounds on the Posse dude, shrugs off a cheap shot from Joey, and plants Rodney with the implant DDT for the elimination. Joey, by far the best of the three Posse members, comes in and gets to face Mark Henry. Joey actually hits a hot shot but crotches himself on the middle rope. Mark does about what you would expect him to and splashes him for the pin.

So it’s 4-1 now and Bulldog comes in to fight Henry. Mark runs Bulldog over with ease and it’s off to Gangrel. Gangrel goes up top and is immediately crotched and superplexed down to make it 3-1. Blackman is in next but he misses a middle rope headbutt. He argues with the referee and gets caught in a fisherman’s suplex to make it Henry/Val vs. Bulldog. Val gets to start but it’s quickly a double team. Jerry: “Hey what’s this?” JR: “Well it looks like Mark Henry and Val Venis double teaming the Bulldog King.” Val gets sent to the floor but Henry splashes Bulldog, allowing Val to come in off the top with the Money Shot for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was as worthless as it was advertised. The Posse is one of those groups that is funny in retrospect but at the time they were wasting PPV time when there had to have been better options for this spot. Venis would have been a bigger deal a year ago so I’m not quite sure why he was in this spot either. Little trivia note: this is the shortest four on four Survivor Series match ever, breaking the record set about 20 minutes ago.

Michael Cole walks in on the Divas locker room and has to rub oil on Ivory’s stomach.

Fabulous Moolah/Mae Young/Tori/Debra vs. Ivory/Luna Vachon/Terri Runnels/Jacqueline

Thank goodness this isn’t an elimination match. For some reason Moolah and Mae were wrestling in 99 with Moolah even winning the Women’s Title at one point. Keep in mind that they both retired about ten years earlier. Tori is a psycho fan turned wrestler, Ivory is a former valet turned wrestler, Luna Vachon is a veteran and rather strange looking, and Terri is eye candy. Jerry’s face when Debra comes out is hilarious. Ivory is Women’s Champion at this point. Moolah jumps the champion in the aisle to start but gets shoved down for her efforts. We officially start with Tori vs. Jackie but Luna comes in for some double teaming.

Keep in mind that Tori is a wrestler in name only, Mae and Moolah combined to be over 150 years old, and Terri and Debra are there as eye candy. After less than two minutes, a double clothesline from the old chicks gives Moolah the pin on Ivory. This may have been the worst idea this side of the birth of a hand. If you don’t get that reference, consider yourself lucky.

Moolah and Ivory “brawl” post match.

X-Pac lists off everything wrong with Kane and says he’ll win tonight. Short and simple here.

X-Pac vs. Kane

X-Pac turned on Kane when they were partners, starting a feud that went on for MONTHS. X-Pac eventually stole Kane’s girlfriend Tori as well, turning her into a smoking hot woman instead of a smoking hot bad wrestler. Earlier today, Tori and Kane said they don’t take what X-Pac has done personally. Kane has the awesome inverted tights colors tonight which he didn’t wear often enough. X-Pac jumps Kane during the entrance and we start fast.

Kane no sells all of the shots to his head. I’ve always wondered if the mask is supposed to absorb the offense from the other guy. Kane chokes away and uppercuts X-Pac down for no cover. Kane goes up but gets dropkicked in the head on the way up in a nice counter. We head to the floor for a bit where X-Pac sends him into the post to take over. Kane comes back with an uppercut but gets kicked in the head to take him back down.

More kicking slows Kane down but the Bronco Buster is countered by a hand around the throat. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts X-Pac down and there’s the top rope clothesline. Kane loads up the chokeslam but Road Dogg comes in to break up the pin. Kane stalks the Dogg to the floor but walks into the X-Factor for two. The tombstone is loaded up but HHH comes in with the title belt shot to the head to draw the DQ.

Rating: C+. I liked this a lot more than most matches that X-Pac had going on at this time. The problem was that X-Pac would win all of his matches against monsters and it would get more and more unrealistic every time. Here though Kane took a lot of offense from X-Pac but it didn’t really hurt him, which is what made this much better. The feud would go on WAY too long though and it dragged things down

Post match Kane gets beaten down until Tori comes out. X-Pac kicks Tori in the face and Kane snaps, sending DX “scattering like quail” according to JR.

The Rock says nothing because HHH shows up and they brawl.

Big Show vs. Mideon/Viscera/Big Boss Man/Prince Albert

Mideon (Phineas Godwin) and Viscera (formerly known as Mabel) are former members of the evil Corporate Ministry stable. Albert is a huge man with a big bald head. This was supposed to be Big Show and Kaientai (Japanese comedy team) and Blue Meanie (…..I’m not sure how to describe Meanie) but Show beat them up so he could do this himself.

This is during the Boss Man vs. Big Show feud, which is based around Boss Man making fun of Show for having his dad die (kayfabe). It led to a bad moment at a “funeral” where Boss Man stole the coffin and dragged Show along the ground on top of the coffin with a car. Show chokes Albert to the floor and chokeslams Mideon for the pin in less than 20 seconds. Albert is gone 10 seconds later to a chokeslam, as is Viscera. Boss Man is like screw this and walks out. Show wins in less than 90 seconds.

Austin is in the back but HHH comes up to attack him too. HHH runs away with Austin chasing after him. Austin winds up in a parking garage and is run over by a car which speeds away. This was the way that Austin was written off TV for the better part of a year to have major neck surgery. He had needed it forever but it wasn’t until now when the company could afford to let him off for that long.

The question would eventually be who ran him over, and it would eventually be revealed as Rikishi (yet to debut on Raw) in one of the biggest WHAT WERE THEY THINKING moments ever. Test (young Canadian wrestler), Stephanie (Vince’s daughter, dating Test at this point) Vince and eventually HHH show up to look at Austin with most of them being concerned. JR goes to see him as well. Vince accuses HHH and DX but they deny any involvement.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho has only been around a few months and is challenging here. Chyna (HHH’s former bodyguard and a woman capable of fighting men) has Miss Kitty here who isn’t even hiding that she’s eye candy, coming out in a bikini and boots. It’s a brawl to start and Kitty is shoved down because Jericho is a jerk. They head to the floor with Jericho’s knees going into the steps, but Chyna misses a dive off said steps to give the Canadian control.

Back in and Jericho gets hot shotted onto the ropes and put in the Tree of Woe. Chyna tries a German but Jericho kicks her low….with no effect because Chyna is Chyna. A standing hurricanrana takes Jericho down but he pops back up and clotheslines her to the floor. The springboard dive takes Chyna out again as JR talks about not being into the match due to what happened to Austin. For once this is an acceptable statement.

Jericho throws Chyna over the announce table and pours water over her head because, again, he’s a jerk. Back in and a missile dropkick gets two for Jericho and Chyna gets the same off a small package. Chyna tries to make a comeback but Jericho bulldogs him down for two and a BIG face pop. A spinwheel kick puts Chyna down and Jericho is swaggering. A clothesline puts Chyna on the floor and Kitty gets kissed. By Jericho that is.

Chyna comes back with a spear and posts Jericho as the crowd noticeably gets quieter. Back in and Jericho hits a layout powerbomb for two and frustration is setting in. The Lionsault misses and Chyna hits the springboard elbow and a DDT for two. With about two minutes left, Lawler mentions a stipulation that Jericho will get a sex change if he loses. That’s kind of a big deal Jerry.

With the referee down, a belt shot to the head gets two for Chris but Chyna comes back with a Pedigree for two of her own. Jericho puts her in the Walls but Chyna finally makes the rope. The place boos the escape to show where their allegiances lie. Jericho loads up a superplex but a Kitty distraction lets Chyna hit him low and a Pedigree (kind of) off the top gets the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. This took a bit to get going but they hit a groove in that ending sequence. The most important thing here though was Jericho wrestled her like any other opponent rather than making a spectacle out of her being a woman. These two would stay at it for a while until Chyna went nuts and eventually started wrestling women, which was the downfall of her career. Well that and being nuts and HHH breaking up with her, but that’s another story.

HHH comes in to see Shane, Stephanie and Test. He still denies having anything to do with it but wants to know if the match is now one on one. Shane says he’ll think of something. Note that Test is there with Shane.

Team Too Cool vs. Team Edge/Christian

Too Cool, Hollys

Edge/Christian, Hardy Boys

This is just after the Hardys (another team you should know) and the Edge/Christian (same) had the first tag team ladder match which would launch them into stardom soon after. Too Cool (Grandmaster Sexay and Scotty Too Hotty, a pair of dancing nitwits) are still stupid here, as opposed to later on when they would be stupid and WAY over. The Hollys (Hardcore and Crash) are cousins that like to fight a lot. The Hardys have Terri in their corner. Edge and Scotty get things started as Jerry talks about Scotty’s pants. They chop it out in the corner before things speed up a bit and Edge spinwheel kicks him down.

Off to Crash vs. Matt with Matt getting two off a suplex. Crash gets crotched on the top and punched to the floor. Grandmaster sneaks up on Matt for a sunset bomb to the floor. We unleash the dives as everyone small enough to try a big dive busts one out with Jeff capping it off. Back in and Christian powerslams Crash for two. The Hollys hit a Hart Attack on Christian for two of their own and Hardcore is in.

We’re promised an update on Austin at the end of this match because THIS MATCH of all things is more important than a guy being hit by a car. Off to Grandmaster whose bulldog is countered and he goes flying so far that he kicks the camera, giving us a cool visual. Off to Hardcore vs. Edge, who starts spearing a lot of people. Grandmaster stops to dance and is immediately speared down. In the big melee, Hardcore rolls up Edge for the pin. Fifteen seconds later, Scotty hits a top rope DDT to eliminate Matt, making it 4-2.

Jeff and Scotty do a fast pinfall reversal sequence before Scotty hits the not yet popular Worm. A sitout powerbomb by Scotty with Grandmaster assisting gets two as does a middle rope missile dropkick from Sexay. Too Cool hits the second Hart Attack of the match for two on Jeff. Everything breaks down but the Hollys get in an argument. Terri gets on the apron for a distraction which lets Christian hit both of Too Cool low. Jeff hits a 450 on Scotty for the elimination.

So it’s Crash/Grandmaster/Hardcore Holly vs. Jeff and Christian. JR goes on a rant about Austin as Christian and Jeff try some Poetry in Motion, but Hardcore comes off the top with a missile dropkick in a SWEET looking counter. Grandmaster adds a guillotine legdrop for the elimination. Christian immediately hits a reverse DDT on Grandmaster to get us down to Christian vs. the Hollys.

JR continues to brood and want an update about Austin. Jerry needling him makes me chuckle as he’s awesome at being a jerk. Crash beats on Christian for a bit before it’s off to Hardcore again. Back to Crash who gets caught in the Killswitch for the pin. Christian tries a victory roll on Hardcore but he falls on top to get the pin on Christian for the win.

Rating: C+. The problem here was that the pairing that this should have been based around, Edge and Christian and the Hardys, were on the same team rather than getting to tear the house down against each other. The other two teams didn’t mean anything and the ending of this sucked. Once the Dudleys got involved with the brotherly pairs, it was all gravy for almost two years.

Shane says that Vince is at the emergency room with Austin. Austin never lost consciousness but is still undergoing tests. Shane says there will be a triple threat tonight, but Austin won’t be in it. Test is there once again.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Mankind/Al Snow

The Outlaws are defending. Ross accuses Billy of being the driver but Lawler doesn’t care at all. Mankind says Austin will get through this. Gunn and Mankind get things going with Billy getting two off a neckbreaker. We hit a sleeper like a minute in and then we look at the Head. JR and Jerry are arguing again as the guys in the ring go to the floor, making them guys no longer in the ring.

Dogg accidentally hits Billy in the face and it’s off to Snow. JR talks about Snow having his action figure pulled off the shelves at Wal-Mart because some stupid professor said that having a severed head included in a toy would send the wrong message to her kids about violence to women. This is going to be a quick sidebar.

First and foremost, it’s not a severed head. It’s a mannequin head and simply LOOKING AT THE THING would tell you that. Second, if you’re concerned about what kind of impression a toy would give to your kids, either A, don’t buy it for them, or B, tell them why you don’t like it. Heaven forbid you have to tell your kid he can’t have something he wants because you deem it inappropriate. Third, and this is the part that I like best, Snow mentioned in a promo that clearly the stores care about their customers because they pulled the figure from the shelves, but the guns, bullets and knives are still on the shelves.

Anyway, now that the people who can’t think before they run their mouths and have to decide how people should live their lives because apparently people aren’t smart enough to make decisions for themselves are out of the way, let’s get back to this dull match. Mankind pounds on Roadie in the corner and hits a running knee to the head. Snow pokes Road Dogg with a chair in the ribs which isn’t a DQ for some reason. Neither is the shot to Dogg’s back from Mankind.

Back inside, Mankind hooks a reverse chinlock followed by a lot of stomping in the corner from Al. Mankind gets two off a knee lift as things continue to go slowly. Snow hits his headbutts but Road Dogg fires off some lefts and a big right to take Snow down. Everything breaks down and the crowd is DEAD for this. They head to the floor with the Outlaws taking over.

Snow gets beaten on for awhile before clotheslining Dogg down and it’s not hot tag to Mankind. Mankind pounds away for a bit but gets caught by the Fameasser for two. Snow hits the Snow Plow on Road Dogg and here’s Socko. Both Outlaws get Clawed but they both hit Mankind low to escape. Snow hits Billy with Head to give Mankind a two count, followed quickly by the Outlaws hitting a spike piledriver on Mankind to retain.

Rating: D. This got better at the end but the twelve minutes before that were way too dull to be considered good. Mankind and Snow were there to fill in spots and while that’s ok, it doesn’t make for an interesting match. It didn’t help that the crowd was deader than Billy Gunn’s career for most of the match. Nothing to see here.

Since Vince is at the hospital, he won’t be refereeing the main event tonight.

We see Austin get run down again.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. HHH vs. ???

HHH is defending and this is one fall to a finish. The third man is…..shockingly not Test but rather the Big Show. I mentioned Test over and over again tonight because every sign on the planet pointed to him being the guy but they went with Show instead. That’s not to say this is a horrible idea or that it doesn’t make sense because there were no clues or anything beforehand, but it was certainly a surprising pick.

Rock and HHH attack Show to start but to no avail. Show shoulder blocks them down but Rock breaks up a chokeslam on the champ. Rock and HHH team up to clothesline Show to the floor but Rock is quickly pulled outside. All three guys wind up on the floor with HHH getting dropped on the barricade. Back in and Show misses a splash in the corner and gets caught in a Russian legsweep for no cover.

The People’s Elbow gets one on Show as HHH saves. HHH chokes Rock in the corner but Show gets back up and side slams Rock for two. Show kicks HHH to the floor and knocks the champ up the aisle. The fans don’t seem to be sure what to think of Show in this spot but they’re not bored. Rock charges up the aisle to clothesline Show down before going after HHH again.

HHH gets knocked through a production table and Rock is in control. Scratch that theory as Show comes in and beats the tar out of HHH, only to have Rock hit Show with a fire extinguisher. Rock and HHH start heading back to the ring but HHH suplexes him in the aisle. Show is back because the guy can’t be kept down. Show drops HHH on the announce table but Rock drills Show in the head with the bell. Rock and HHH hit a double suplex on Show through the table for the WHOA spot of the match.

Rock and HHH head into the crowd to brawl as this has been a wild fight for the majority of the match so far. Back to the ring and the referee gets clotheslined down by Rock by mistake. The Rock Bottom and Pedigree are both countered, the latter being countered into a catapult into the buckle. There’s the Rock Bottom but there’s no referee. Shane runs out in a referee’s shirt to count two.

Another Rock Bottom hits but Show pulls Shane out of the ring. Rock goes after Show on the floor which goes quite well for the giant. Show puts him on the table and goes back into the ring to knock HHH down before going back to beat on Rock some more. Rock gets thrown into the steps and HHH has the belt, only for Shane to take it away. HHH Pedigrees Shane and they’re all back inside again. Here’s DX to go after Big Show and Rock but here’s Vince as well. He knocks HHH out with the belt and a chokeslam makes Show champion.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work that well for me at all. Show has no connection to the feud at all which hurts things a bit, but at the end of the day there was no real flow to the match at all. Show winning is a good pick as it gives some closure to the week for him where his dad died and all that, but his title reign wouldn’t work all that well due to him mainly feuding with Big Boss Man. Still though, decent moment but a bad match.

Show celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a very back and forth show as the stuff that was interesting was interesting (although not necessarily good) and the stuff that was bad and dull was VERY bad and dull. This show is much more about setting things up for the future, which is ok, but it doesn’t really do much for those of us watching this. Not really recommended, but there are some far worse shows out there.

Ratings Comparison

Team Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Team Dudley Boys

Original: B-

Redo: C

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Stasiak

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Team Val Venis vs. Team British Bulldog

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Team Mae Young vs. Team Ivory

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Kane vs. X-Pac

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Show vs. Team Big Boss Man

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

Team Too Cool vs. Team Edge/Christian

Original: B

Redo: C+

New Age Outlaws vs. Al Snow/Mankind

Original: D+

Redo: D

Big Show vs. HHH vs. The Rock

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

I liked most of the matches better the first time and the overall rating was higher. Simple and easy, as usual.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/08/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1999-a-lot-happens-here/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Reviewing the Review: Hell in a Cell 2015

This is a show that I did not want to see. In case you didn’t notice it in my 148 different versions of complaining about the show, this was the least interested I’ve been in a pay per view since…..well since whenever TNA last had a pay per view probably. It’s almost entirely made of rematches, which can work but in this case I wasn’t interested in the matches the first time around either. This is the dark time of the year for the company but I wound up really liking the show. A lot of that was due to the lack of expectations but let’s see how well it holds up.

The pre-show match saw Cesaro/Neville/Dolph Ziggler defeating Rusev/Sheamus/King Barrett. This was ALL about Cesaro, who hit a stretch in the middle of the match where he had the fans more fired up than anyone this side of Daniel Bryan. It was fun, it was entertaining, and it was followed by two straight pinfall losses on TV the following week. This is what you’re going to get in WWE: someone starts getting over and it’s not something they want to happen so it’s time to have them lose when more people are watching. The match was really fun though and did exactly what it needed to be.

Alberto Del Rio was the surprise for the US Title Open Challenge. This was indeed a big surprise, but the more I think about it the more unsure I am. Let’s get the good out of the way first: it wasn’t Big Show or some other goon that no one wanted to see. Del Rio is fine but he’s not the most interesting guy in the world by any stretch. He’s a good choice going forward as a midcard champion and the Zeb Colter as manager addition is a nice touch. However, Del Rio has never shown the ability to make me care about him as a heel. He has the in ring abilities but the lack of charisma hurts him. I could go for another face run though.

As for the match, it was just a step ahead of a squash with Del Rio winning clean with the low superkick (there’s a drinking game with that move). This seems to send Cena away for the next few months, which might help freshen things up a little bit. The ending could have been more but it’s nice to have the ending be a clean pin. Also, Del Rio FINALLY beats Cena on his own. Well done indeed.

Next up we had the first Cell match with Roman Reigns defeating Bray Wyatt. This was a good, hard hitting match but it didn’t need to be inside the Cell. This was really just a glorified street fight that happened to be inside the big cage, which isn’t the point of a match like this. You could have just had a regular cage match or barred anyone from ringside with a threat of suspension or whatever. The story leading up to this made it fit in the Cell but the execution didn’t work.

I do like that Reigns won and ended the feud (for now, because you know they’ll get together again one day, probably on a meaningless Raw where they “renew their rivalry”). Wyatt will of course be fine because wins and losses mean nothing (so he’s Nikki with a beard) to him. It’s a good match though and about what I was expecting from these two.

New Day beat the Dudleyz in another average match. This really felt like the end of the feud and at this point that’s the best thing they can do. The Dudleyz never needed to win the titles again and it’s cool to see the New Day get a win over the most successful tag team of all time. Above all else though: this match showed how much New Day needs Woods around. It wasn’t bad or anything without him but he’s the heart and soul of the team.

Charlotte retained the Divas Title over Nikki Bella in a really well done match. Nikki has started getting some psychology down and isn’t screwing up such basic stuff. Also it was nice to see Charlotte win a big match for a change as she’s spent the last month getting beaten up and then often losing. I can live with her following the 1995 Randy Savage formula of getting destroyed and then hitting one big move to retain the title. Taking a beating is fine as long as she survives.

However, Charlotte and the rest of the newcomers (as in the women who arrived three months ago) desperately need personalities. Charlotte is Ric Flair’s daughter, Becky has red hair and great legs and Sasha is spunky. What else is there to say about these three since they’ve been in WWE? Nikki has a character (not a great one but at least it’s there) and is more interesting as a result. Let them have characters (like Paige, who is starting to get there) and there might be an actual division.

Ambrose and Reigns had a nothing segment in the back that seemed to be setting up something for the next night which didn’t really happen.

Seth Rollins retained over Kane in another lame match. What was anyone expecting here? This has been the Kane formula for nearly fifteen years now: he’s an unstoppable killing machine for weeks until he has a match where he’s just a power wrestler. I don’t know why anyone expected anything different and the match was as normal as any Kane match where he clearly had no chance to leave with the title.

Kevin Owens beat Ryback to retain the title in a short match that felt like it got cut down due to time. There’s really not much to say here because it was a Raw match that ended with Owens hitting his finisher. Ryback is probably going to drop down from the ranks soon and now we get a new challenger for Owens, which is probably good at this point.

That leaves us with the main event of Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker. I’m not sure what to say here. They beat the heck out of each other and bled a lot, making it better than most Cell matches in recent years. The blood was such a nice touch and it really made the match feel like a war. It’s really tiring seeing people fight in something considered the most violent match in the world and never get that intense.

The idea here was that Lesnar is now the perfect fighting machine after learning from Undertaker…..but he kind of already was that in the first place. He regularly beat the tar out of anyone he fought, he made Undertaker tap and he’s an awesome amateur wrestler. I like the idea but it’s not something that holds up when you think about it for a little bit. Still though, Brock ripping up a ring and F5ing Undertaker on the exposed boards (after the hardest low blow I’ve ever seen) for the win was great stuff and made him look like an eve bigger killer than he was before.

Then the Wyatts kidnapped Undertaker to set up a Survivor Series match. That’s fine and there’s not much else to go into here, other than SHUT UP JBL! The entire time this was going on, JBL kept going on and on about how disrespectful it was to Undertaker to have a backwoods cult kidnap him, presumably to torture him or perform some ritual. Yeah Brock Lesnar can beat on him with a chair, make him bleed, crush his groin and drop him head first onto exposed boards, but the Wyatts were just rude. It was a moment that really didn’t need commentary and JBL really hurt the segment.

The more I think about this show, the less I like it. There’s a lot of good stuff on it but most of the title matches bring it down. It’s still a good show and a very nice surprise over what it was going to be, but it was really just a last stop before the company could start caring again. Hopefully they go somewhere interesting from here and this would be a good start to get there. The show wasn’t great but it was a good enough usage of three hours.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Smackdown – October 28, 2015: A Holiday Treat

Smackdown
Date: October 29, 2015
Location: Talking Stick Resort Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Rich Brennan, Booker T.

We’re coming off a good Raw and we now have a fresh #1 contender in Roman Reigns. The other big story however is Bray Wyatt kidnapping both the Undertaker and Kane in order to feast on their souls. It’s pretty clear that this is leading to a Survivor Series match but the Brothers of Destruction need partners. Let’s get to it.

We open with a narrated recap of the Wyatts’ recent actions.

The Wyatts say the spirits that fueled the Brothers of Destruction now belong to him. To celebrate the fallen sons on the day of the dead, Bray issues a challenge to any three souls brave enough to face his monsters. Fitting for a Halloween show. Rowan says he was never allowed to dress us for Halloween because it was too sinful. Harper says evil is very real and these aren’t costumes. Bray wishes his condolences to anyone who faces them and pulls out Kane’s mask. He hands it to Strowman, who promises annihilation awaits. Run.

Opening sequence.

The arena is full of Halloween decorations to give it a more festive feeling.

Here’s Reigns to open things up. Reigns has had one goal since he’s been here and that is to be the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. He’s been knocked down a lot but he’s dusted himself up and now he’s back in the fight. The only man left in front of him is Seth Rollins but here’s Kevin Owens to add himself to the mix. Owens says Reigns stole one from him on Monday. “YAY! YAY! EVERYBODY YAY! GO ROMAN!”

Monday wasn’t Reigns overcoming the odds because it was just a fluke. Roman must know that he was a second away from being powerbombed and pinned. Believe that. Reigns thinks that sounds like an excuse because it was straight skill that beat Owens. Kevin can whine Owens whine, or he can come in here right now and fight Owens fight.

Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Non-title. A quick point before we get going: as Owens came out, Brennan said they were scheduled for a match tonight. I’m so glad they actually announced that for once instead of just having a spontaneous match. It helps the show feel realistic for a change and that always helps. Reigns shoulders him out to the floor to start and scores with a neckbreaker as we take an early break. Back with Reigns putting him on the floor again but getting sent into the barricade this time around.

Owens throws him with a fall away slam for two back inside but Reigns kicks him in the face for two. See? There are moves other than clotheslines. Owens one ups him with a superkick but Roman breaks up the Cannonball with a clothesline. The threat of the Superman Punch scares Owens to the floor but he escapes a Samoan drop. Roman breaks up the swinging fisherman’s superplex (I miss that move) and Superman Punches Kevin to the floor. That’s enough for Owens and it’s a countout at 11:15.

Rating: B-. Well done here by not having Owens get pinned. You can tell when the company has flipped the switch and gone back to work because they don’t do stupid stuff like having their champions get pinned in a meaningless match. Reigns winning via countout is fine here and leaves the door open for a bigger rematch down the line. Owens looked competitive here which is all you can ask for against a main event star.

Ambrose, describing himself as ruggedly handsome, tells Renee (in a green fairy costume) to ask if he’s going to accept the Wyatts’ challenge. Of course he is because he slays monsters. He’ll be waiting to find out who is joining the ghostbusting monster squad but he’ll fight alone if he has to. Dean leaves and a ghost comes up behind Renee. It’s BOO Dallas, who promises to scare someone tonight.

Dudley Boyz vs. Ascension vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Sheamus/King Barrett

This is called Tag Team Terror which means fatal four way. New Day comes out on commentary and they now have unicorn horns. Kofi doesn’t like the four teams not wearing costumes because it means it means they don’t believe in magic. Big E.: “SHAME!” Kofi and Big E. join in on commentary as Kalisto headscissors Sheamus down. Bully and Barrett come in as New Day does their reporter voices.

The Dragons dropkick Ascension and the good guys clear the ring as we take a break. Back with Bubba yelling at New Day (Kofi: “THIS IS NOW THE HALLOWEEN SPIRIT!”) and D-Von elbowing Sheamus in the face for two. Kalisto comes in and is promptly stomped down by the pasty one (Big E.’s words), followed by a chinlock. Big E. thinks Sheamus is a carpenter because he’s hitting Kalisto like a hammer. Kofi: “YOU SEE WHAT HE DID THERE??? YOU SEE WHAT HE DID THERE???”

Off to Viktor for a spinebuster on Kalisto as Big E. tells Brennan to take notes. Konnor goes shoulder first into the post and it’s Sin Cara coming in off the hot tag. Cara’s hurricanana gets two on Konnor but everything breaks down with the Dudleyz coming in to hold Sheamus and Barrett for a double What’s Up. The Dragons get backdropped onto Ascension as Kofi and Big E. have completely taken over commentary with their nasal voices. A blind tag brings in Kalisto for a Salida Del Sol from the apron to pin Viktor at 10:32.

Rating: C. Another entertaining match with the Dragons getting a nice win. As usual though, New Day stole the show here as they jumped from their usual commentary to some hilarious comedy with the voices. Kofi’s was shockingly good and I forgot who I was listening to at times. Oh and again: the up and comers don’t get pinned. Fun match, outstanding commentary.

Lawler has an idea for a costume: write LIFE on a shirt and hand everyone lemons. Brennan: “Why not pennies?” Lawler: “You idiot.”

Ambrose can’t figure out Cesaro’s costume. Cesaro is in a suit and sunglasses but that’s just how he normally dresses. He offers to be Dean’s partner tonight but Dean insists that Cesaro swing them around so many times that their beards fly off. Cesaro: “You can be Jason Vorhees or something.” Dean: “I’ll just be me.” They leave and BOO Dallas appears again.

We recap last week’s MizTV with Tyler Breeze debuting to beat up Dolph Ziggler.

Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

Trick or Treat street fight, meaning the ring is surrounded by Halloween decorations, including about twenty pumpkins around the apron. Lawler says Ziggler is dressed as Nikki Sixx. Miz kicks some pumpkins around to start but Ziggler holds onto the ropes to block a catapult. As Ziggler pulls himself back in, Miz finds a plastic sword. That’s fine with Ziggler who has a kendo stick painted like candy corn.

The duel goes to Dolph and he shoves Miz’s face into a bowl of apples and water. That’s not enough as Ziggler puts a pumpkin over Miz’s head and breaks it up with a superkick. Miz has had enough of these shenanigans and starts going after the knee with a stick shot. The leg is wrapped around the post and Miz crushes it with a chair. It’s Figure Four time but Ziggler counters into a small package for the pin at 4:48.

Rating: C-. This was fine. They kept the jokes short enough that it didn’t seem corny and it was fun enough while it lasted. Ziggler pinning Miz doesn’t mean much as Miz can bounce back in no time and Ziggler is moving on to Breeze anyway. The match was fun enough and they didn’t get stupid like they so often do with these theme matches.

Ziggler is down post match so here’s Breeze to go after the knee with the kendo stick.

We recap Paige going full heel on Monday.

Paige vs. Natalya

Paige superkicks Natalya at the bell and slowly stomps her down in the corner. Natalya comes back with a quick suplex to put Paige on the floor but here’s Team Bad to say Natalya has their attention. The distraction lets Paige grab a Rampaige for the pin at 2:16.

Post match Team Bad lays Natalya out. This includes Tamina becoming the fourth person tonight to use a superkick.

Breast cancer segment from Monday.

Ryback offers to be the third partner. Dean: “Yep, you’ll do.”

Here are Del Rio and Colter with something to say. Colter calls Del Rio virtuous and is so proud to be one of the first citizens of MexAmerica. That title now represents MexAmerica and Del Rio promises to make it great by renaming it the MexAmerica Championship.

Alberto Del Rio vs. R-Truth

Non-title. Truth starts fast with the gordbuster but Alberto goes after the arm to take over. Del Rio goes up top and ties Truth in the Tree of Woe for the double stomp and the pin at 1:27. I like the move but there’s a danger of it becoming like the 619 where there are only so many realistic ways to set it up.

BOO Dallas tries to scare Mark Henry and gets punched in the face. I guess that ends the joke.

Ryback/Dean Ambrose/Cesaro vs. Wyatt Family

Bray is the odd man out here. Ryback shoulders Harper down to start and Luke’s shirt is torn. It’s off to Strowman but Ryback goes right after him with right hands to stagger the monster. A suplex doesn’t work so well but Braun easily suplexes him down. We take a break and come back with Harper getting two on Ryback off a slingshot hilo. Back to Rowan for the double fist head vice but Ryback fights up (because it was a lame hold) and grabs a quick spinebuster.

Ambrose gets the tag to give the fans something to cheer for. Dean sends Harper and Rowan to the floor for the big dive off the top but Rowan kicks him in the face (NOT a superkick for a change) for two. Dean fights up again and makes the tag off to Cesaro for your athletic freak of the night phase. Harper takes the running uppercuts and that reverse Angle Slam that needs a name.

There’s the crossface from Cesaro as everyone else fights on the floor. A suicide dive knocks Strowman against the announcers’ table and Ryback knocks him over for good measure. The crossface goes on Cesaro again but Rowan makes the save, only to get nailed by Dean. The superkick party continues with Harper kicking Dean’s head off but walking into the springboard discus uppercut. Strowman gets up for a distraction though and the discus lariat ends Cesaro at 11:48.

Rating: C+. Nice main event here as the Wyatts get to look dominant over a thrown together team. They did a good job of keeping Strowman looking like a monster again as Ryback could barely move him. It’s going to be a big deal when someone beats him if they do it right and so far that’s where we’re going. There was little doubt as to who was winning this given what the Wyatts are doing at the moment and that’s not a bad thing.

Overall Rating: C+. I had a good time with this show as you can see that the company is taking things seriously again, likely due to their perceived break being over. It’s still not must see TV or anything but at least we had a fun two hours for a change instead of the same stuff we get every week.

Results

Roman Reigns b. Kevin Owens via countout

Lucha Dragons b. Dudley Boyz, Ascension and King Barrett/Sheamus – Salida Del Sol to Viktor

Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Small package

Paige b. Natalya – Rampaige

Alberto Del Rio b. R-Truth – Top rope double stomp

Wyatt Family b. Cesaro/Ryback/Dean Ambrose – Discus lariat to Cesaro

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Monday Night Raw – October 26, 2015: Something To Look Forward To

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 26, 2015
Location: Valley View Casino, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s the night after Hell in a Cell and a few things have been wrapped up. Above all, we need a new #1 contender for Rollins after he beat Kane to retain the title last night. We also need a new Director of Operations/boss because where would we be without three bosses? On top of that, we also need to find out what happened to Undertaker after he was abducted by the Wyatts last night, which is likely setting up an elimination tag at Survivor Series. There are a lot of people missing due to injuries/time off so this could be interesting. Let’s get to it.

The Authority gets us going and Stephanie talks about the legends that were made last night. Normally I would ask what she’s talking about but I’ve been advised to not drive my blood pressure up that high ever again. She introduces “the man who is simply known as the man”, Seth Rollins. Seth is all happy and celebrates with the Authority, who says he proved them right as he ran over everyone they put in front of him. Stephanie is very relieved because their reputations were on the line. That line made me cringe but it’s very clear that those reputations are the most important things in this company.

They’re proud of Rollins and he has to hug them both. HHH talks about the problem of Rollins cleaning out the roster. Starting tonight, people have to prove themselves all over again, so tonight the winners from last night are going to compete in qualifying matches. Those winners will compete in a fatal four way for the right to be defeated by Seth Rollins.

Seth thinks that’s best for business but here’s Roman Reigns to interrupt. Reigns says this has been making him feel sick (amen brother) because Rollins doesn’t belong in the WWE Hall of Fame. He’s winning tonight and then taking that title. Believe that. Stephanie: “LET THE GAMES BEGIN!” Let’s start with a game of SHUT UP STEPHANIE!

Roman Reigns vs. Kofi Kingston

Before the match, Big E. mocks Reigns’ hair and fashion sense (it hasn’t changed in three years!). Kofi says that New Day is putting the Dudleyz in the past, Woods in their hearts (“Let’s throw up a unicorn horn right now!”) and Reigns on the ground. “Just call me Harry Potter because I’m about to make some magic!” Kofi starts fast but Reigns is ready for him and grabs a neckbreaker to send Kingston outside. JBL’s hat gets knocked away and we take a break. Back with Reigns suplexing Kofi in as Big E. shouts various things.

One of the distractions work as Kofi gets in a shot from behind to take over. We hit a sleeper for a bit before a nice top rope ax handle keeps Reigns in trouble. For some reason Kofi goes to an armbar (you don’t often see bad psychology from him like that) and Reigns slams him down with his old NXT finisher (similar to the Protobomb). The corner clotheslines have Kofi in trouble a missed top rope dive makes things even worse as Reigns grabs a rollup into a powerbomb for two. Big E. gets on the apron but eats a Superman Punch, setting up a spear to give Reigns the pin at 12:49.

Rating: B-. This was a lot better than I was expecting as Kofi got in some good offense and got to control for a long time. Kofi is a great asset as he can be funny but also work a good match like this at any given moment. People often forget how great of a resume he really does have as he’s the modern day Tito Santana with all those titles. Good match here.

Miz has an audience to watch him play WWE2K16.

Stills of Del Rio returning and winning the US Title last night.

The other qualifying matches are:

Neville vs. Alberto Del Rio

Big E. vs. Dolph Ziggler

Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro

Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro

Non-title. In an inset promo, Owens says the greatest moment in WWE hasn’t happened yet because he hasn’t been Intercontinental Champion and WWE World Champion at the same time yet. I love it when people who aren’t going to be anywhere near the main event talk about wanting to be the World Champion. Even if it’s not realistic, it sounds good. Cesaro grabs a few rollups to start before sending him face first into the apron. A big delayed vertical suplex gets two on Kevin and it’s already back to the floor for a double clothesline. Both guys beat the count back in at nine and we take a break.

Back with Cesaro hitting the running uppercuts to send Owens outside to run, but Cesaro blasts him with another running uppercut. The cannonball off the apron puts Owens down again and a high cross body gets two. The Swing is countered into a DDT for two but Cesaro comes off the middle rope with a spinning uppercut. Sweet goodness that looked awesome. The referee tells Cesaro to get off the ropes, allowing Kevin to get in a superkick and the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 10:23.

Rating: B-. Gah I was hoping for Cesaro to win here but I know I would have been annoyed if Owens got pinned clean. This is the logical ending but it’s a shame that Cesaro’s latest awesome run looks to be going nowhere. Good match here though as Raw is already on fire and a better show than it’s been in weeks.

Paige is in the back on the phone when Becky and Charlotte come in. She tells them to hang on for a second because everyone is interested in her after she was on Conan. Becky and Charlotte aren’t pleased but Paige promises she had nothing to do with attacking Natalya and it’s a new version of her. They do the pinky swear and things are cool for now.

Team PCB vs. Team Bella

So yeah, this revolution is another way to go with rematch after rematch. Byron says this is about being the BTB: the brand to beat. I’m going to ignore how stupid that sounds and watch Paige armdrag Nikki for two to start. Nikki forearms Charlotte off the apron and brings in Alicia, who walks right into a double dropkick from Charlotte and Paige.

The fans want Becky but get Brie taking over on Charlotte by kicking her in the leg instead. The YES Kicks are broken up by a neckbreaker and it’s finally off to Becky, who feels like she hasn’t been in a match in forever. Everything breaks down and Nikki hits the forearm and Rack Attack for the pin on Becky at 5:27.

Rating: C-. Raise your hand if this surprises you in any way. Becky is getting popular and the fans want to see her so it’s time to give the Bellas another win over them because that’s how this division works. Nikki and Brie are the chosen ones and they’re going to get wins no matter how many times we’ve seen them fight everyone or how much fire the division has been given by these new additions.

Post match Paige goes full heel and lays out Charlotte and Becky with Rampaiges before putting Charlotte in the PTO.

We see Lesnar vs. Undertaker inside the Cell. In WWE2K16 that is.

Now we get a stills package from the real match, including the post match attack by the Wyatts.

Zeb Colter quotes John Lennon’s Imagine and talks about there being no countries. Starting tonight, he and Del Rio are the only citizens of a new country like MexAmerica (uh……). Del Rio says he isn’t going to let an immigrant like Neville take away his chance to be WWE World Champion again.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Neville

Non-title again. Del Rio goes after the arm to start, sends Neville out to the floor, then cranks on another armbar back inside. You can’t say he makes things too complicated. A quick headscissors sends Alberto to the floor and we take a break. Back with Del Rio’s chinlock being broken but he settles for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Del Rio puts on the chinlock again as JBL actually mentions being managed by Colter early in his WWE run (when Colter was known as Uncle Zebekiah).

Neville fights up again and sends Alberto to the floor for a big flip dive. The running enziguri knocks Neville off the top rope but Neville counters the armbreaker into a rollup for two. Neville tries to go up top too fast though, allowing Del Rio to crotch him into the Tree of Woe, setting up the top rope double stomp. That always looks sick and it puts Neville away at 12:08.

Rating: C-. Del Rio is still a little dull but his psychology is right there. I also like that they’re not going with just the armbreaker. That’s an established finisher for him and it’s a good thing that they’re letting him win by pinfall instead of just the submissions. Neville is getting pretty firmly into his jobber to the stars role but at least he won a match last night to keep him relevant.

Ryback/Dudley Boyz vs. King Barrett/Sheamus/Rusev

It’s a big brawl to start until we get down to D-Von dropping a headbutt on Sheamus for two. Rusev comes in and pounds D-Von into the mat before bringing Barrett in for some kicks to the ribs. Sheamus gets another turn with the forearms to the back and a chinlock. The Irish Curse doesn’t do much good as D-Von scores with a clothesline and makes the tag off to Ryback.

A BIG clothesline knocks Barrett off the apron and Bubba comes back in for a release Rock Bottom. All three of the good guys do FEED ME MORE and it’s a triple Meathook. Barrett takes What’s Up but a Sheamus distraction lets him roll D-Von up with a handful of tights for the pin at 6:13.

Rating: D. This was just there and I never got into it once. As JBL pointed out, this was the losers bracket and that’s really not something a lot of fans are going to want to see. I do like that they’re pushing the foreigners as something to be reckoned with and they actually haven’t lost a match yet, but they need to actually do something.

After another look at the ending of the show, Bray Wyatt is in the ring in his rocking chair. He talks about the twenty five years of the Undertaker and how scared people have been of him for all that time. Last night was war inside a Cell and the red horse of the apocalypse rode in. After promising to dance with Roman Reigns again later, Bray declares the demise of the Undertaker as his resurrection.

Right now Bray is feasting on the soul of the Undertaker but he needs more. He won’t stop until there is nothing left of the Undertaker and Bray has ascended to his throne. Undertaker’s soul is being destroyed bit by bit so Bray asks everyone here to bow their heads for a moment of silence. Is it that time of year again? Bray says rest in peace and here’s Kane to interrupt.

Kane gets on the apron but the rest of the Wyatts show up. Strowman comes in for the showdown but Kane actually cleans house until just Bray is left. Kane goes for a chokeslam but there are too many Wyatts. The real beatdown is on and Bray looks to the stage for Undertaker. No one comes out though and Kane is carried away like Undertaker was last night.

Post break the Wyatts drag Kane off into the shadows as Bray sings.

Big E. vs. Dolph Ziggler

Well this should pick things up a bit. Before the match, here are Tyler Breeze and Summer Rae, complete with camera view on the Titantron. Ziggler is so distracted that he tries a cross body on a power guy. That’s like lesson one of wrestling school. A dropkick works a bit better and Kofi tells Dolph to stop cheating. With Kofi proclaiming that the hips don’t like, Big E. comes back with an abdominal stretch until Ziggler Cactus Clotheslines both of them out to the floor.

Back in and Big E. runs Ziggler over for two and we take a break. Back with Breeze and Summer eating popcorn behind their velvet ropes as Big E. is still in control. Ziggler finally slips out of a slam and grabs a sleeper but Big E. sends him hard into the corner. Back to the abdominal stretch for a big but Dolph makes his comeback to silence.

A hard catapult sends Dolph into the post but Big E. goes to steal some of Summer’s beverage, allowing Ziggler to grab a Fameasser for two. Big E.’s Warrior Splash gets the same but Ziggler superkicks him back down. The running DDT is easily countered but Big E. misses a charge into the post, setting up the Zig Zag for the pin at 13:55.

Rating: C+. Obvious ending but this was entertaining enough. Again it helps when these guys get a chance to space out their matches instead of having to fly through everything in five minutes. Big E.’s power looked great here but it didn’t make sense for him to beat someone on Dolph’s level. Good surprise here.

The four way will be Reigns vs. Owens vs. Del Rio vs. Ziggler.

Ambrose reminds Reigns that he’s been this close time after time. Tonight it’s time for him to take it. Reigns says he’s got this.

It’s breast cancer time with a bunch of cancer survivors in the ring and a big chunk of the roster standing behind them. Titus O’Neil is actually doing the talking here as he goes over the basic idea of the campaign and leads the women in the Million Dollar Dance.

Miz is still playing the game, as Steve Austin for some reason. Miz wins and loads up the catchphrase but Austin’s voice comes out. Austin himself shows up and Miz says Austin’s catchphrases with a WWE2K16 theme. Austin might have been on screen for fifteen seconds and I wouldn’t be surprised if this wasn’t filmed last week.

Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Rollins is on commentary and there’s no Colter at ringside. It’s a brawl to start with all four heading outside, only to have Owens take over on Reigns. Del Rio jumps off the barricade to take Ziggler out and the champions double team Reigns back inside. Reigns fights back and clotheslines Alberto to the floor, followed by the apron boot to Owens. Del Rio gets one as well but Ziggler kicks Reigns’ head off as we take a break.

Back with Ziggler getting double teamed for a change but we get the obvious problem of who gets the pin. Del Rio gets the better of it and superkicks Owens to the floor, only to turn around and get laid out by Reigns. Ziggler comes back in for the staredown with Reigns, who Rollins points out has had a much longer rest than anyone else. The running DDT (you knew he was getting that in at some point tonight) gets two but Reigns gets the same off a Batista Bomb.

The Superman Punch connects but Del Rio knocks Reigns to the floor and steals the cover for two. I actually bought that for a second. Del Rio misses the corner enziguri and the Fameasser is good for two. You can hear Rollins having a blast with this on commentary. Reigns breaks up a Doomsday Device with a Superman Punch but Owens superkicks him down.

Del Rio and Ziggler both eat Cannonballs but Reigns adds an apron kick to Del Rio for good measure. It’s Reigns vs. Owens and the fans REALLY like this one. Owens hits a superkick but the Pop Up Powerbomb is broken up by a Superman Punch and the spear gives Roman the title shot at 15:01.

Rating: A-. Well that rocked (save for the champion getting pinned but I can live with it in this case). Reigns winning is the right call but it opens a lot of doors for Undertaker’s partners against the Wyatts. I’m hoping Reigns wins the title at Survivor Series because it seems to be a much better idea to have him win his first title ANYWHERE else but Wrestlemania and another big pay per view sounds like a great place. The fans were on fire for this and they did a good job of making it seem like anyone could win, even though Reigns was the pretty clear choice. Awesome match here and it makes a good show even better.

Reigns and Rollins stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This show avoided one of WWE’s biggest problems: it stopped trying to cram so much stuff into three hours. That’s one of the things that amazes me about WWE: they have so much time to fill yet somehow they manage to overload the show almost every week. This was a good example of letting things take their time and breathe for a minute, which made for a much more entertaining show.

Combine that to actually building to a title match that people might want to see instead of Kane’s split personalities and you have a better result. I liked this a lot better than most shows and I have stuff to look forward to for once. Maybe all these people being gone is a good thing as it lets the show breathe. In a perfect world they would be back and WWE would push some of the stuff that clogs up the show to Smackdown but that’s never going to happen for reasons that I’ll never understand. Anyway, good show tonight with a MUCH better pace.

Results

Roman Reigns b. Kofi Kingston – Spear

Kevin Owens b. Cesaro – Pop Up Powerbomb

Team Bella b. Team PCB – Rack Attack to Lynch

Alberto Del Rio b. Neville – Top rope double stomp

Rusev/King Barrett/Sheamus b. Dudley Boyz/Ryback – Rollup with a handful of tights to D-Von

Dolph Ziggler b. Big E. – Zig Zag

Roman Reigns b. Dolph Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio and Kevin Owens – Spear to Owens

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Hell in a Cell 2015: The Sequel Can Be Good

Hell in a Cell 2015
Date: October 25, 2015
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s time for one of the most violent shows of the year with two matches inside the namesake structure. The other main event is Demon Kane challenging Seth Rollins for the WWE World Title but if Demon Kane loses, Corporate Kane loses his job as Director of Operations. Uh right. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Cesaro/Neville/Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev/Sheamus/King Barrett

Rematch from Raw where the bad guys won. Neville and Sheamus get things going with the big guy taking a kick to the back of the head. Off to Cesaro (who is jeered by Stardust and the Ascension from ringside) who gives Neville a platform for a corkscrew moonsault. The announcers talk about Blazing Saddles as Ziggler comes in to hammer away on Sheamus in the corner. A quick Fameasser gets two but Rusev superkicks Ziggler in the face and we take a break.

Back with Barrett cranking on Ziggler’s arms and kicking him in the chest for two. Rusev comes in to talk trash the announcers bounce back and forth between talking about the match and golf. Sheamus comes back in for one of the most intense chinlocks I’ve ever seen but Ziggler pops up for his jumping DDT. Leave it to Dolph to just get in his stuff instead of selling. Cesaro comes in for the running uppercuts and a cannonball off the apron to take Sheamus down.

There’s a running uppercut against the barricade for Rusev before Cesaro takes a lap around the ring to hit Sheamus with another uppercut. That was one heck of a run and Cesaro keeps it going by backflipping Neville onto Sheamus and Cesaro. Ziggler superkicks Barrett into the Swing and it’s the Red Arrow to put Barrett away at 11:31.

Rating: C. For Cesaro, who stole this match as well as anyone I’ve seen do in years. He had the fans totally into him and ran with it for a change, though somehow it seems that he’s considered boring. If that’s still the case, he needs to get out of WWE now because he’s never going to get a crowd more fired up than he did right there.

Oh and in case you don’t get what I meant, the match was a B-.

The opening video is about the torment everyone is about to go through, including those not in the Cell. I take it to believe that their torment will be the same, meaning the Cell changes nothing and is therefore worthless. Nice job WWE.

US Title: John Cena vs. ???

Cena is defending in this Open Challenge. The mystery opponent is…….not clear yet as we’ve got the returning Zeb Colter on a motorized scooter. He calls Cena a divider and a separator so it’s time for people of all different backgrounds to come together. Colter thinks it’s time for Cena to lose the title to someone who will do more with it than Cena ever has. That next US Champion is…….ALBERTO DEL RIO! That’s quite the surprise but more importantly, HE ISN’T THE BIG SHOW!

Cena shoulders him down to start but a hard kick to the hamstring sends the champ out to the floor. Back in and we hit the armbar as Del Rio’s psychology hasn’t slipped a bit. Alberto misses a charge though and crashes out to the floor, only to come back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a chinlock.

Cena continues his loud spot calling until he comes back with the release fisherman’s suplex. An enziguri looks to set up the armbreaker but Cena comes back with that clothesline that he uses for his comebacks. The finishing sequence is initiated but the AA is countered into a Backstabber and the low superkick is good for the completely clean pin at 7:50.

Rating: C. Not much to the match here as we knew Cena was losing but I really like the fact that it was clean. WWE needs stars right now and Del Rio is as good of a choice as anyone due to his resume and the shock value of him coming back. It’s better to have a big name come back and win than have someone win it with a fluke. Del Rio looks legit and that’s exactly what he needed to do.

Rollins comes in to the Authority’s office and does that weird recapping events thing that he does until Kane comes in to say he’s back from suspension. He was back on Smackdown and made a match but as usual that doesn’t count. Kane and Rollins get in an argument and HHH throws Kane out.

We recap Wyatt vs. Reigns. They’ve been feuding for months as Wyatt doesn’t want Reigns to be the next face of the company for reasons that he kind of explained months ago and hasn’t brought up since. This led to a series of tag matches and then they were ready for the Cell.

Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns

No seconds at ringside. Cole hypes up the fact that these are the 34th and 35th men inside the Cell. It’s been around 18 years so that’s not really all that impressive. They slug it out to start until Reigns throws Bray with a suplex. It’s quickly out to the floor for the apron boot and a ram into the cage but Bray comes back with a kendo stick to take over. Bray starts driving the tip of the stick into Reigns’ hand before putting the stick and a chair in the cage wall.

Roman gets sent through the stick but comes back by throwing Bray face first into the chair. Now since Bray used a kendo stick, Reigns has to come up with something more devastating. His choice: TWO kendo sticks and TWO tables. As is the law of the table match though, Roman sets one up and winds up going through it via a Rock Bottom from the apron.

The backsplash gets two back inside and Bray loads up another table. The fans give Reigns the Cena dueling chants but he breaks up a superplex attempt and powerbombs Bray through the table for two. Now the fans think it’s awesome. Pick a side already. Sister Abigail is countered into a fast rollup and the Superman Punch gets two more.

The fans switch to ROCKY’S COUSIN (that’s an insult?) until Reigns spears him through the ropes and through the table for a huge crash. It’s only good for two though and Bray grabs Sister Abigail for the same. Some kendo sticks are put up on the turnbuckles but Roman pulls one down and beats Wyatt with it, setting up the spear for the pin at 23:22.

Rating: B-. This is the new normal for the Cell: a long street fight that happens to be inside a big cage. This didn’t have a big moment or a big finish but it did have some good spots and was entertaining but they’re never going back to the old Cell style. It’s sad and annoying but it’s the truth. Unfortunately WWE talks about it like this big warzone and it’s just not that kind of match anymore. Good match, but the standard underwhelming Cell formula.

We recap the New Day vs. the Dudleyz. They’ve traded some wins and the Dudleyz put Woods through a table. This feud has gone on too long and it’s getting tiring.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Dudley Boyz

New Day is defending and Big E. brings the broken trombone for the spirit of Woods. Big E.: “Tromboner……trombonists……TROMBONE PLAYERS around the world are in mourning!” However, they promise to play the bongos on D-Von’s head and a drum on Bubba’s belly. Kofi: “LIKE A CAUCASIAN KAMALA!” D-Von shoulders Kofi down to start and Bubba knocks Kingston to the floor.

The champs have a huddle (Big E.: “TIME OUT SUCKA!”) and the announcers look at the trombone. The Dudleyz botch a backbreaker/legdrop spot and the fans boo it loudly. Big E. runs D-Von over and it’s time for the rotating stomps, followed by more dancing. The Warior Splash gets two but the champs make the mistake of trying What’s Up, allowing D-Von to kick Kofi away and make the tag.

Bubba cleans house until Kofi dropkicks both Dudleyz down. Kofi grabs the trombone and throws it to Bubba before falling down ala Eddie Guerrero. The referee teases the DQ but doesn’t go for it, only to have Big E. blast D-Von in the back with the trombone, setting up Trouble in Paradise to D-Von for the pin at 9:24.

Rating: C. And hopefully that’s that. I don’t really need to see these teams fight again for a very long time as they’ve covered almost everything they need to cover. The Dudleyz are going to be fine after putting New Day over and if they’re gone after tonight, they’ve served their purpose. I’m sure they’ll stick around and have a few more feuds but this was the right result.

We recap Nikki Bella vs. Charlotte. Nikki lost the title to Charlotte last month but Charlotte has been treated like a joke ever since while Nikki hasn’t seem to mind that she isn’t champion anymore.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and again no one is at ringside. Feeling out process to start with Charlotte hammering away in the corner and countering a powerbomb attempt with a hurricanrana. Some big forearms put Charlotte down and Nikki cranks on her neck with a knee in the back. Nikki backbreakers her a few times before putting on a half Liontamer of all things. Charlotte finally gets to the ropes and kicks Nikki in the face but she can’t pull off a suplex because of the back. Double knees to the back and a spinebuster keep Charlotte in trouble but trash talk is enough for her to come back with chops.

Nikki comes off the second rope but jams her knee to give Charlotte an opening. Not that it matters as Nikki is fine enough to load up a belly to back superplex, only to have Charlotte backflip off the top and send Nikki crashing down again. The Figure Eight doesn’t work because of the back though and Charlotte crashes to the floor. Nikki follows up with an Alabama Slam onto the apron (freaking OW man!) but the Rack Attack is broken up, setting up the Figure Eight to retain the title at 9:42.

Rating: B+. Yep it was good. I’m fine with Charlotte selling for most of the match as long as she doesn’t lose in the end like a squash. Nikki has gotten WAY better in recent months but it took so long to get there that she’s got a long way to go. It’s still really entertaining stuff though and I’m glad they didn’t give it back to Nikki as that’s been covered for way too long already.

Paige and Becky run out to celebrate with Paige making sure to get in first. Ignore Nikki casually rolling out of the ring and walking up the aisle holding her back instead of limping.

Reigns is in the back when Dean comes in. Ambrose congratulates him on the win and says they have something new to deal with but Reigns says they’ll do that tomorrow. That’s cool with Dean and they’re celebrating tonight. That must be setting something up for later.

We recap Kane vs. Seth Rollins. They fought for months over the summer but then Brock Lesnar broke Kane’s ankle. Kane returned and saved Rollins from Sheamus cashing in and then developed a split personality. Therefore, tonight it’s Demon Kane vs. Rollins but if Kane doesn’t win the title (or the match as it’s changed a few times), Corporate Kane loses his job as director of operations.

WWE World Title: Seth Rollins vs. Kane

Are Kane’s magical hair growing powers ever going to be addressed? Rollins is defending but Kane starts fast with a running DDT and basement dropkick. They’re on the floor in a hurry with Kane loading up the announcers’ table but Seth escapes and they get back inside. Rollins sends Kane right back to the floor and it’s a big flip dive to take the monster down. Back in again and Seth dives into an uppercut but avoids a charge in the corner and pounds away. That goes nowhere as he gets crotched on the top and kicked in the face for two.

The top rope clothesline sets up the chokeslam for two and Kane is stunned. Why he’s stunned isn’t clear as everyone kicks out of that thing but since when has logic ever stopped a wrestling match? The tombstone doesn’t work so they head outside and load up the announcers’ table again. Lawler: “The Spanish announce table is right over there!” Rollins escapes another chokes attempt and powerbombs Kane onto the Spanish table. The count almost beats Kane but he gets back in, only to take some kicks to the head and one heck of a frog splash for two. Another chokeslam is countered and the Pedigree retains clean at 14:36.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t the worst but above all else THANK GOODNESS they didn’t set up a rematch. It’s another example of “hey let’s set Kane up as this unstoppable monster!” and then he just loses the title match because he’s Kane, he’ll be fifty the year after next, and no one buys it at this point.

The pre-show panel chats for a bit. Renee has changed outfits for some reason.

Intercontinental Title: Ryback vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is defending after taking the title from Ryback last month. Ryback ax handles him in the chest to start and shrugs off Owens’ offense. Back in and Owens gets in a shot to the ribs to take over, followed by the backsplash for two. The Cannonball is countered into a spinebuster and the fans just do not like Ryback. Owens avoids the Meathook but walks into a powerbomb for two. Ryback goes up top but gets shoved out to the floor, only to come back in for the Meathook. They fight over by the ropes and it looks like Owens gets in another thumb to the eye, setting up the Pop Up Powerbomb (minus any power) to retain at 5:34.

Rating: D+. I’m thinking time hurt this one a lot but they weren’t going to have anything great no matter what they did. This was the most obvious result of the night and there wasn’t a lot of interest going into it. Ryback can go off to do something else now and Owens needs a new opponent. Not a horrible match but it could have been on any given Raw.

We look back at Del Rio winning the title tonight.

Recap of Lesnar vs. Undertaker from Summerslam where Undertaker tapped but won by knockout after hitting Lesnar low and putting him in Hell’s Gate. Tonight is the final showdown (allegedly) inside the Cell.

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

They stare each other down before the bell and Undertaker gives him the throat slit. The fans are split on this one and it feels like a main event. They slug it out as you would expect with Undertaker over off a clothesline. Undertaker blocks some suplexes and Brock is sent to the floor. Brock tries an F5 on the floor for some reason and Undertaker sends him into the post, drawing a nice cut on the head.

Back inside with a chair included but Brock grabs a spinebuster to get a breather. And now let’s stop for a doctor INSIDE THE CELL. Why even have the thing at this point? A lot of the blood is wiped away and Lesnar beats away on Undertaker with the chair, including a shot to the arm that impresses the announcers far too much. Undertaker suplexes him on the floor but now he’s busted open as well.

Back in and Undertaker drives Brock’s throat onto the top of a chair for two. A suplex out of nowhere sends Undertaker flying and Brock follows up with two more. The F5 is good for a near fall and let’s get that doctor in there to check on the cuts. At least they let them do the high spots first. Thankfully Lesnar throws the doctor away and hits a second F5 for another near fall. Some steps to the head get two more and Cole says we’re all in shock. No Cole, we’re not.

Lesnar picks up the steps, poses with them until Undertaker can raise his feet, and then slams them onto said feet so Undertaker can kick the steps back into his face. Hell’s Gate goes on (Heyman: “NO!!!!!”) but Brock punches his way out. Brock erupts on Undertaker with lefts and rights….and then he rips the mat apart.

Undertaker sits up though and it’s a chokeslam onto the exposed boards. The Tombstone onto the boards (work with me here) gets two and Undertaker gets in his awesome shocked look. Undertaker does the throat slit but Brock hits one of the hardest low blows I’ve ever seen, followed by the F5 onto the boards for the pin at 18:10.

Rating: A-. Now that felt like a Cell match. I know it’s an easy answer but that blood really does add a lot. It makes them feel like they’re actually having a violent battle instead of a street fight that happens to be inside a big cage. In other words, it makes it feel special. This wasn’t as good or violent as their first Cell match but thirteen years will do that to you. Oh and how much better was this with three suplexes instead of like fifteen? That helped so much.

The announcers treat this as WAY bigger of a deal than it is considering we saw it before. JBL talks about how Undertaker might be the best of all time and we get the big emotional situp with a THANK YOU TAKER chant. The only thing I can think of to say: oh shut up. He’s lost this exact same match before and this one really means nothing, especially after the Streak was broken. If it’s his retirement match then fine (it’s not) but stop treating this like anything more than a really good match.

Undertaker stands up…..and we’ve got Wyatts. Undertaker tries to get ready to fight but it’s an easy beatdown. JBL will not SHUT UP during the whole thing about a lack of honor or some nonsense like that as the Wyatts take Undertaker away to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. So much of that is due to the low expectations coming in but this was a heck of a show. The worst match is five minutes long and the main event was a great surprise. Unfortunately WWE has no idea how to do TV right now but their pay per views rock. In other words: it’s great when they’re finally able to settle down for a change and not waste everyone’s time with stupid build that completely misses the point. Get the TV better to set up these great shows and the company is on fire again. Until then though, just wait for the big shows because it’s all you’re getting.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. John Cena – Superkick

Roman Reigns b. Bray Wyatt – Spear

New Day b. Dudley Boyz – Trouble in Paradise to D-Von

Charlotte b. Nikki Bella – Figure Eight

Seth Rollins b. Kane – Pedigree

Kevin Owens b. Ryback – Pop Up Powerbomb

Brock Lesnar b. Undertaker – F5

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Hell in a Cell 2015 Preview

What am I supposed to say about this show? It’s been one of the least interesting builds to a pay per view that I’ve seen in years and I haven’t seen many people who think otherwise. The matches are ranging from “we don’t need to build this” to “they’ve been feuding for a long time so let’s just have them feud more” to “it’s a pay per view with a major main event so let’s burn this off here.” Maybe I’ll find something to get excited about but I’m not there yet. Let’s get to it.

The pre-show match is a replacement due to Orton being injured again, though to be fair it’s been a pretty long time since his shoulders acted up. Instead of the match that’s only been kind of built up, we’re getting a rematch from a match that wasn’t great in the first place but it’s a way to let the writers do the same idea twice in a week so they don’t have to think of anything new.

The new match is Cesaro/Neville/Ziggler vs. Sheamus/Rusev/King Barrett in a match that changed on Thursday after the debut of Tyler Breeze. I know the most common (not common sense that is) booking would be to have the good guys get their win back here and set up the fabled rubber match on Raw, but I’m thinking instead they go with the heels winning here as Ziggler already has business with someone else. Maybe Breeze even interferes like he should in a well booked promotion. Either way, heels win for my pick that has little chance of being right.

We’ll start the actual show with the most obvious ending: Kevin Owens retains over Ryback. This was more interesting before Ryback got pinned clean in four minutes on Monday but since the writers think they have about fifteen male wrestlers, we had to sacrifice the Intercontinental Title match to help rebuild the World Champion. This wouldn’t be a problem but Rollins has been destroyed in recent weeks and needed the help. This was because

1. The writers don’t know how to book a heel champion.

2. How else was Kane going to look strong because Big Show had recently squashed every normal piece of cannon fodder to set up a house show match no one believed he had a prayer of winning?

So yeah Owens retains and there’s no real reason to believe otherwise.

New Day retains over the Dudleyz in another rematch (that’s three in a row for those of you counting). If they didn’t change the titles in New York, there’s no real reason to change them anywhere else. I’m hoping this is the end of the feud and that they don’t try to stretch it all the way out to a tables match somewhere. New Day can entertain against anyone and the Dudleyz can put over team after team without losing their credibility. There’s no need to continue the feud so hopefully they wrap it up here.

Now we have a match that could go either way with the Divas Title match (rematch #4). Nikki was never really broken down after losing the title because holding the record seems far more important to her than actually being the champion. Charlotte on the other hand has had trouble beating Brie Bella, even losing to her in a tag match recently. Either way it seems that the winner will just be keeping the title warm for Sasha Banks, so the question comes down to does WWE want Nikki to bore us to death against Banks or do they want a rematch of the Charlotte vs. Sasha classic? All hail the new champ.

Next up is the US Title Open Challenge, which may or may not be a rematch. Cena is pretty clearly losing here so the question is who gets the belt. There are multiple options in this case, ranging from the newly debuted Tyler Breeze to perhaps a newcomer debuting to the now free Dean Ambrose. While I think they’ll go with Ambrose, that leaves the issue of how does Ambrose put Cena on the shelf for a few months? I can’t imagine Cena is just going to lose and say “see you in two months” so he needs someone to injure him.

Unfortunately, I think that leads us to Big Show. He’s still fresh (as fresh as you can be nearly seventeen years after debuting) off the Lesnar feud and WWE is the kind of company that would rather make him a transitional champion, believing that he gets the win over Cena and whoever beats him inherits the momentum, even though that doesn’t work because it’s freaking Big Show. That’s my pick, though it’s probably going to be Ambrose.

That leaves us with the three main events and we’ll start with the least important: the WWE World Heavyweight Championship (rematch #5). The idea here is that Kane has multiple personalities and if his Demon side can’t beat Seth Rollins for the title, his Corporate side loses his job as head lackey to the Authority. At the same time though, Rollins continues his eternal quest to impress the Authority because this show exists to make them look important. Oh and of course Kane pinned the champ on Raw to make us believe that they might put the title on the 48 year old who hasn’t been interesting in years.

Of course Rollins retains as that old “who cares if he loses all the time if he still has the belt” mindset shines through again. I know we’re still setting up Rollins vs. HHH (which has been coming for months now) but could they try to give us something good along the way? This is the match that they spent months setting up in the summer and we’re finally getting it here because the REAL main event is carrying the show, meaning there’s no need to put in effort on this match because we’re lucky that way.

I don’t think they want to get rid of Sheamus’ briefcase yet (oh lucky us) so Rollins retains, though I’m sure there’s going to be some wacky shenanigans that mean Kane gets to keep his job (probably after a thorough performance evaluation or whatever they call it this time). It’s probably a DQ or a countout because that way Kane wins the match and we can ignore the whole “if Kane doesn’t win the title he’s fired” stipulation because of whatever reason the Authority has this time. Rollins retains but doesn’t win, meaning we get a rematch at Survivor Series and probably TLC because we’re just that lucky.

Then we have the match with the biggest build as Bray Wyatt and Roman Reigns get inside the Cell for rematch #6. This is another bad feud as they started fighting back in June and are still after each other today. Bray won at Battleground with Harper’s help and they’ve traded tag wins ever since. Therefore, it’s clear that it’s time to go inside the Cell. I mean, a regular cage or something else is out of the question because it’s October so what else can they really do? This should be a fun brawl but we’ll be waiting around for the interference that everyone knows is coming.

I think I’ll go with Roman here, though Bray needs the win a lot more than he does. Neither guy has done anything significant since Wrestlemania but at least Reigns was a big deal at the beginning of the year. Wyatt has his full minions (well once Harper is back from his “personal issues”, which I assure you have nothing to do with that photo that I’m sure you’ve all seen.) now and is probably going to lose anyway, which will (or at least should) set up a Survivor Series elimination match so they can continue the feud past the advertised ending. Like they almost always do.

Speaking of the end, we have what is billed as the final showdown between Lesnar and Undertaker and I can’t be more thankful. Oh and rematch #7 to complete the field of matches that we actually know about. The match at Summerslam was fun but it’s the same story as the Wrestlemania match with Lesnar vs. HHH: yeah it was good but I don’t need to see them again this fast. It doesn’t help that neither guy seems interested in selling the match. Brock has appeared twice, Undertaker once in recent weeks. Their showdown on Monday was “yeah we’re going to fight on Sunday” and that’s about it.

I’ll take what should be the obvious winner with Lesnar, but don’t be surprised if they have some sort of wacky ending and set up one FINAL (as in final final, not prelude final) match at Wrestlemania to send Undertaker out. The drama and violence should be good but it’s a match where they’re having to drag me into it and I don’t really care what happens.

What a horrible looking show. I can’t remember the last time I was less interested in a pay per view than this as WWE hasn’t given me a single thing to get excited about. Save for the Cena match, everything is a match we’ve seen recently. That’s how you book a house show and we’re getting it as a regular pay per view. They need to figure out something new and do it in a hurry because this is one of the worst times I can remember for creative in a long time and the ratings are backing that up.

I don’t know of anyone excited for this show and it’s only going to get worse as the company throws its feet on the desk and say “eh no one is going to watch because of football anyway so we’re on vacation.” I know people aren’t going to watch but at least pretend like you care what’s going on and don’t give us a blend of the last two pay per views you put together and expect us to be entertained.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown – October 15, 2015: The Weekly House Show

Smackdown
Date: October 15, 2015
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Jerry Lawler, Booker T.

Somehow we’re ten days away from Hell in a Cell and it’s time to put the finishing touches on the build. The announced main event for tonight is hometown boy Dean Ambrose teaming up with the Dudleyz to fight New Day in a bit of a preview for the pay per view. We might even get more speculation of what Cena is going to do there as well. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Roman Reigns vs. Bo Dallas

Before the match, Bo talks about Reigns going to a scary place at the pay per view. Dallas knows all about scary places because he went to Suplex City, but he actually survived it unlike Reigns. Dallas actually takes him into the corner to start but Reigns drops him with a neckbreaker. A middle rope clothesline to the back of the head gives Bo an opening, only to have Reigns come back with even more clotheslines of his own. Dallas wants time and Reigns stops to smile, only to get annoyed when he takes a kick to the ribs. Now the Samoan drop connects and the two moves end Dallas at 2:58.

Roman talks about Bray referring to himself as the devil. He can get behind that idea because he sees the pure evil in Bray’s eyes. Roman is going to bring the big fight because it’s the only way to stop the devil. Cue Bray, who says Reigns’ sins will be his undoing. It is the sin of pride that will bring Reigns down because he isn’t Bray’s muse. On Monday, Bray is going to deliver a prophecy to Reigns. Anyone but you.

Cesaro/Neville vs. Sheamus/King Barrett

Rematch from Raw because the writers already came up with their idea for the week. Ascension and Stardust are sitting in the crowd with a STARDUST SECTION sign. Barrett and Neville get things going with Neville starting his kicking regimen early. Sheamus comes in and eventually gets hurricanranaed out to the floor, allowing Cesaro to backdrop his partner over the top and onto the villains in a nice visual.

The referee tells them that they’re about to go to a break so we come back with Barrett putting his knee into Neville’s back and cranking on the arms. Sheamus stands between Neville and the corner like a good bully before planting him with a slam. We hit the chinlock from Barrett for a bit before he misses a running boot in the corner. Cesaro gets the tag and fires off the running uppercuts to Sheamus for two. The briefcase is brought in and the distraction lets Barrett get in a Bull Hammer to give Sheamus the pin at 10:10. Stardust and Ascension never got involved.

Rating: C-. This match is a good example of everything wrong with Smackdown. Not only have we already seen it on Raw with the same result but it’s a match with no energy. I know it makes for a dull match but can you blame them? None of the matches on this show mean anything and Cesaro isn’t going to get a major push because the boss doesn’t care for him, so why should they try in a tag match that they’ve already done before? That’s the nature of Smackdown these days and it has been for a very long time. If the wrestlers don’t care, I don’t get why I should either. At least Barrett/Sheamus have potential as a team.

Summer, guest referee for Ziggler vs. Rusev later tonight, says she’s put men down before and is willing to do it again if she has to.

Earlier today, Ambrose unloaded his bag, which included a Slammy, a slinky, a balloon animal, a magic 8-ball…..but no Payday. Oh never mind as it fell out of his bowling ball. I hate the fact that I chuckled at this.

Kevin Owens vs. Zack Ryder

Non-title and Ryback is at ringside. Owens shrugs off an early flurry and stomps Ryder down. A quick missile dropkick doesn’t have much staying power for Ryder as Owens hits a Meathook, shouts FINISH IT and plants Ryder with the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 1:39. Total squash but effective.

Recap of Rollins and Kane on Monday. That would be another loss for the champ, which of course has nothing to do with the ratings plunging.

Paige stops Natalya in the back to offer an apology for her attitude as of late. The pressure got to her and she couldn’t handle Natalya trying to take her place on Team PCB. Paige wants to make it right and just wants to be Natalya’s friend again. Natalya says this is a start and leaves.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev

Summer Rae is guest referee and Dolph doesn’t seem to mind when she takes her hair down. Rusev stomps Ziggler in the corner to start as Booker confuses Sherri Martel for his wife Sharmell. Ziggler gets knocked off the apron and into the barricade for a nice crash. Back in and Rusev charges into an elbow, followed by an elbow for a fast two. We get a Danny Davis reference, followed by Dolph’s superkick being countered into a catapult into the corner. Rusev’s jumping superkick gets the slow count required in a match like this, followed by a slap to knock Rusev into the Zig Zag for the pin at 4:26.

Rating: D+. This was every Rusev vs. Ziggler match you’ve ever seen plus every lame guest referee trope in the book. They’re running out of places to go with this story so instead, why not just do the exact same things over and over again and expect a different result? This was nothing interesting aside from Summer’s outfit. I’m curious to see how Lana will be received upon her return as she’ll be booed, but I’m not sure how the fans are going to respond to her being stupid for going back to Rusev instead of the normal reasons they booed her.

Post match Summer suggests she and Dolph get back together but Dolph isn’t playing those kind of games.

The Dudleyz say they have chemistry with Dean Ambrose. They’re already the best team ever and Dean is combustible. Bubba tells Renee to touch Dean’s arm. Bubba: “BOOM!” Dean says Dudleyville reminds him of Cincinnati and they’re going to take the New Day to the lunatic fringe. BOOM!

Wyatt Family vs. Prime Time Players

Small change here as the Wyatts are in the upper left corner and the Players are in the lower right. You rarely see those changed up. Titus tries his luck against Braun to start and some corner clotheslines stagger the giant. They only stagger him though as Braun throws him into the corner and brings in Harper for a Gator Roll. O’Neil powers over for the tag to Darren as things speed up. Darren goes after the now legal Strowman but Harper superkicks him into the standing choke for the win at 2:59.

Charlotte vs. Alicia Fox

Non-title. Fox takes over with a quick backbreaker and we hit the chinlock. We see Team BAD watching in the back as Alicia’s northern lights suplex gets two. Both of them try big boots at the same time but it’s Charlotte up first with the spear and the Figure Eight for the submission at 3:10.

Rating: D. A three minute match shouldn’t have a 45 second chinlock. Every day that ticks by as we get closer to the pay per view, the more worried I get that they’ll give the title back to Nikki because of her “star power”. Also, how could they not throw Sasha in at this point, or at least not have her be the next challenger? She’s on fire right now and they would be crazy to not go with it.

Team Bella attacks post match but Paige makes the save.

Post break Paige thinks PCB is back together but the other two aren’t convinced. They head into their locker room and find Natalya laid out.

Video on Lesnar vs. Undertaker.

New Day vs. Dean Ambrose/Dudley Boyz

Kofi tells everyone to forget what they learned in science class because the strongest force in the universe is the power of positivity. Cena, Ziggler, Orton, D-Von, “Bully Ray Dudley” and Ambrose have all come to the New Day and gotten dropped. It’s all science you see. You could even call it geology because New Day ROCKS. Dean is in a Cincinnati shirt and earns the hometown pop. We take a break before the bell (thank goodness) and start with Kofi headlocking Bubba.

D-Von comes in for a double elbow but Kofi drives him into the bad corner. A low blow gets D-Von down into the corner for the rotating stomps. Woods gets in a running forearm in the corner but D-Von grabs a neckbreaker. Lawler lightens the mood by talking about how the New Day won’t go near a boot because it has a table of contents.

Dean comes in to clean house and Woods eats the suicide dive. The top rope standing clothesline gets two on Woods but Big E. hits a clothesline of his own. Bubba gets the tag for the Bionic Elbow (complete with trombone) to Kofi as everything breaks down. Dean goes up top for a dive on Big E. but Woods shoves him to the floor. Kofi eats 3D but Woods gets in a trombone shot for the DQ at 9:35.

Rating: C. Standard main event six man with Ambrose not really getting to do anything as the hometown boy. To be fair though he already got a big moment in Cincinnati earlier this year and that’s more than most people get. They need to do something with the Dudleyz soon though as you can only have them beat New Day by DQ so many times.

New Day lays out the Dudleyz to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Smackdown feels like a house show. Like I mentioned: there’s little reason for the wrestlers to put in much effort, the matches almost never go anywhere or are referenced on Raw and they rarely get time to do anything interesting. What happens here that I would be interested in seeing? These shows aren’t bad but they’re not important and that makes Smackdown a waste of time.

Results

Roman Reigns b. Bo Dallas – Spear

Sheamus/King Barrett b. Cesaro/Neville – Sheamus pinned Cesaro after a Bull Hammer

Kevin Owens b. Zack Ryder – Pop Up Powerbomb

Dolph Ziggler b. Rusev – Zig Zag

Wyatt Family b. Prime Time Players – Standing choke to Young

Charlotte b. Alicia Fox – Figure Eight

Dudley Boyz/Dean Ambrose b. New Day via DQ when Woods used a trombone

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