Survivor Series 2001
Date: November 18, 2001
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 10,142
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

European Title: Christian vs. Al Snow

Rating: C-. This is one of those shows where anything but the main event means nothing, which makes the first hour and a half of the show pretty uninteresting to sit through. This match was fine but it could have been on Smackdown on any given week. Snow and Christian are both good hands so a good match is really nothing shocking at all.

William Regal vs. Tajiri

Regal powerbombs him again post match. Torrie (looking GREAT in a purple top and leather pants) comes out to check on Tajiri, only to get powerbombed as well.

We recap Edge vs. Test. These two are both midcard champions after the seemingly dozens of never ending midcard title changes going on at this point. Edge is US Champion, Test is IC Champion, tonight only one belt survives.

Intercontinental Title/US Title: Edge vs. Test

They fight over control to start with Edge taking over via a series of forearms to the head. Test powers him down and goes after the ribs with a wide ranging selection of stomps. We head to the floor with Edge being dropped across the barricade to further the attack on the ribs. Back in and Edge hits a dropkick to take over before we head outside again. Back in quickly and a swinging neckbreaker gets two for Edge.

Test drops Edge onto the top rope ribs first to reinjure him and the taller of the blonde Canadian champions takes over again. Test puts on a chinlock as the match slows down again. Edge fights up and avoids a corner charge before hitting a middle rope missile dropkick for two. A middle rope cross body misses though and Test puts him on the top rope.

A cage is lowered.

WCW Tag Titles/WWF Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

Jeff is taken out on a stretcher.

Mick Foley is at WWF New York and admits that his job (WWF Commissioner) means nothing.

Scotty 2 Hotty is about to be in the Immunity Battle Royal but Test beats him up to take his spot.

Immunity Battle Royal

Test, Billy Gunn, Bradshaw, Farrooq, Lance Storm, Billy Kidman, Diamond Dallas Page, Albert, Tazz, Perry Saturn, Raven, Chuck Palumbo, Crash Holly, Justin Credible, Shawn Stasiak, Steven Richards, Tommy Dreamer, The Hurricane, Spike Dudley, Hugh Morrus, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Funaki

Sacrifice video by Creed.

Vince looks at Team WWF and gives them a pep talk, bringing up names like Dr. Jerry Graham, Peter Maivia, Gorilla Monsoon (pop) and Andre the Giant (BIG pop). He understands he might be looking at a group of losers, and if that happens no one will ever forgive them. After listening to that speech, I want to go fight three WWF guys and one guy each from ECW and WCW!

We recap the main event which has been summed up pretty well already. Vince was replaced by Big Show and Rock and Jericho are having major issues. Rock is WCW champion and Austin is WWF Champion. This really does feel like a huge match. The video is set to Control by Puddle of Mudd which is a good song.

Basically Vince said that he was tired of all of the InVasion (I think a lot of us were at this point) and offered one winner take all match with the losing organization going out of business. Angle joined the Alliance after the announcement but Vince says Austin is coming back to the WWF, giving the Alliance reason to be concerned. Austin stunned Angle on TV recently to further that idea.

Team WWF vs. Team Alliance

The Rock, Chris Jericho, Big Show, Undertaker, Kane

Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Booker T, Rob Van Dam, Shane McMahon

Everyone gets individual entrances so it takes forever to get to the start of the match. As those are going on, a few things to notice here: Team Alliance has one of the biggest WWF superstars ever, a guy that at this point had only wrestled in the WWF, a WCW guy, an ECW guy, and the then heir to the WWF throne.

Angle gets thrown around but eventually slips behind Kane and hits a German Suplex for two. Kane comes back with a side slam and the top rope clothesline for two of his own as Shane saves again. Off to the Dead Man who pounds away but misses a charge into the corner, allowing Booker to get the tag. Taker immediately drops Booker and hits a legdrop, but Shane breaks up his fifth near fall of the match.

Booker stomps on Rock but Rocky comes back with right hands. A side kick takes Rock right back down but Rock does the same with a DDT for two. Booker charges into a Samoan Drop for two as Austin makes the save. Rock whips Booker into Angle and grabs a rollup to eliminate Mr. T, making it 3-2.

Everyone celebrates and Vince comes out for the big dramatic pose, because this whole storyline was all about Vince and his kids remember.

Ratings Comparison

Christian vs. Al Snow

Original: C+

Redo: C-

William Regal vs. Tajiri

Original: C

Redo: N/A

Edge vs. Test

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Battle Royal

Original: N/A

Redo: C-

Trish Stratus vs. Lita vs. Jacqueline vs. Ivory vs. Mighty Molly vs. Jazz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Team WWF vs. Team Alliance

Original: B

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: B+

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/10/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2001-the-end-of-the-alliance-thank-goodness/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Survivor Series 2000
Date: November 19, 2000
Location: Ice Palace, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 18,602
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s old school time and as luck would have it, we’re going with something from one of the best eras the company has ever had. Steve Austin is back from his neck surgery and going after the mastermind behind his attack with another match against HHH. At the same time, we have the Rock vs. Rikishi, who famously did it for da Rock. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at HHH being the mastermind, which was the best thing they could have done after the big question mark of picking Rikishi. See, back then they saw when something wasn’t working and FIXED THEIR MISTAKE. I know that’s a foreign concept these days but it really did happen back in the day.

See how easy it can be to give what would be an otherwise ice cold match a backstory? And how weird it is for the faces to be in the bottom right hand corner of the ring? How did WWE even manage to have a designated face and heel corner in modern times? Crash’s high crossbody is pulled out of the air so Blackman dropkicks him in the back for a save. Trish comes in but kicks Albert low by mistake, allowing Crash to bring Molly in.

The chase gives us a double tag to Crash and Test with a hurricanrana giving Crash two. Test’s pumphandle slam is broken up as Crash rams him into Albert and it’s off to Molly to beat up Trish. Test pulls Molly down by the hair but she is fine enough to suplex Trish with ease. Crash has to save Molly from a gorilla press but Trish grabs the middle rope bulldog for two. Back up and Molly hits a middle rope sunset flip to put Trish away at 5:03 with Lawler losing his mind as she nearly falls out of her top.

Rating: C-. Today this would have been a Kickoff Show match but that doesn’t mean it was bad. Instead what we had was a match that didn’t overstay its welcome and had a fast enough pace that it still worked. Molly was the best choice for the pin and it’s not like Trish getting pinned is going to hurt her. The more I watch Molly the more impressed I am with her as she can do so many different things. Here she’s almost the All American girl and she would be doing her chaste stuff just over a year later before becoming kind of a hybrid. That takes talent, which she certainly has.

Kurt Angle comes up to Edge and Christian in the back but they have their own match tonight and can’t help Angle against Undertaker. Oh and Christian ate some bad chili and came down with mono. Angle: “You guys with your crazy antics.” He just wanted them to go out and celebrate, as long as he can find non-alcoholic beer.

Earlier today, Low Down and Tiger Ali Singh weren’t on the security entry list. This really shouldn’t come as a surprise.

Radicalz vs. Billy Gunn/Chyna/K-Kwik/Road Dogg

Survivor Series match and it’s so bizarre to see R-Truth here nineteen years ago in a different enough character. Gunn and Chyna may have a bit of romance going on but it isn’t clear. Terri is here with the Radicalz, Malenko is Light Heavyweight Champion and Eddie is Intercontinental Champion. Gunn hammers on Saturn to start and it’s Chyna coming in for a double suplex.

A powerslam gives Chyna two but the handspring elbow is countered into a waistlock. You don’t do that to Chyna, who kicks Saturn low, knocks Eddie off the apron and hits a DDT on Saturn. Everything breaks down and Eddie hits Chyna with the Intercontinental Title for the pin at 2:33.

That takes away a lot of the fans’ interest in the match, even as Dogg gets beaten up for a change. Eddie starts in on the knee so it’s time to talk about the World Title match instead of what’s going on here. Dogg catches Eddie on top with a superplex, allowing the tag off to Gunn. The tilt-a-whirl slam and sleeper drop get rid of Eddie at 6:01 to even things up as WWE keeps trying to make the Gunn singles push a thing.

Malenko and Kwik come in with the latter flipping around but getting driven into the corner for a tag to Benoit. A headscissors takes Benoit down but it’s a heck of a bridging German suplex to get rid of Kwik at 7:19. Dogg comes in and gets beaten up in the corner as well as Lawler tries to figure out why JR is talking about an accordion. Malenko gets two off a suplex but Dogg hits Saturn in the head to get a breather.

Saturn is right back with the northern lights suplex to get rid of Dogg, leaving us with Saturn/Benoit/Malenko vs. Gunn. The Radicalz waste no time in beating Gunn down in the corner and a cheap shot from Saturn makes it even worse. Saturn misses a superkick on the floor and hits Benoit by mistake (or he got close at least with a camera cut making the save), leaving Malenko to take the Fameasser for the pin at 10:58.

The Jackhammer gets two on Saturn but Benoit slams Gunn down and drops the Swan Dive for his own two. Gunn fights back with an elbow to the face and Benoit gets knocked to the apron. That means a suplex back inside but Saturn pulls the leg and holds it down to give Benoit the pin at 12:41.

Rating: D+. Pretty uninspired match here but the Radicalz winning was the only way to go. The team had been around for a long time now and it would be ridiculous to have them lose to the remnants of DX. The match wasn’t even any good with the Radicalz easily picking the team apart, mainly because it was the former Outlaws, Chyna and R-Truth.

Rock wouldn’t talk to Lilian Garcia as he arrived.

Chris Jericho thought is issues with Kane started over some spilled coffee but it is more complicated than that. It is about a man who looks in the mirror and sees the evil monster inside. Jericho is talking about himself though and he’s ready to prove that to Kane.

We recap Kane vs. Jericho, the latter of whom spilled coffee on Kane and made a reference to burning. Kane wasn’t happy and started torturing Jericho, including throwing him through a window and chokeslamming him onto the announcers’ table.

Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho has a bad back coming in from the attacks. They slug it out to start with Kane getting the better of it as the Y2J chants start up. The dropkick puts Kane on the floor and the dive barely connects as Jericho’s foot gets caught on the rope. The springboard dropkick knocks Kane back to the floor as it’s a lot of getting in the shots that he can so far. Back in and Kane drops him face first onto the mat as we hit the monster stretch.

A belly to back suplex is countered and Jericho hammers away, only to get his head clotheslined off. Jericho gets choked over Kane’s back and the announcers continue to do a good job of selling the David vs. Goliath aspect here. A turnbuckle pad comes off and Kane goes to send Jericho face first into the steel (because Jericho is handsome and Kane hates anyone who isn’t a freak) but a raised foot is enough for the block. Instead Kane sends him to the floor and into various things, which is what monsters tend to do.

Back in and Jericho crotches him on top, gets shoved down, but still manages to dropkick Kane out of the air. A basement dropkick sets up a missile dropkick for two and the Walls go on. The rope is grabbed after a long stretch that didn’t have a lot of drama, mainly because Jericho was barely cranking on the thing. Jericho pulls him back and tries again but gets kicked in the face this time. The bulldog into the Lionsault (with Kane having to scoot over about a foot and a half) is blocked with a grab of the throat though and there’s the chokeslam for the pin at 12:35.

Rating: C. The ending would have been better had Kane not been so out of place at first but the rest wasn’t exactly great. For some reason I never got into this one and it just didn’t have that much drama. I do like Kane winning as it gives us a reason to keep things going, and this is the kind of thing that can go on for a bit.

Terri comes in to see the Radicalz and tells them that HHH is in the building and he’ll meet with them later. Laughter ensues.

European Title: William Regal vs. Hardcore Holly

Regal is defending in a match that was set up on Heat. Before the match, Regal mocks the Florida fans for not being able to elect a new President or understand something as basic as manners. Holly’s music cuts him off and I don’t think that counts as good manners either. Holly starts fast and hammers away but Regal goes with the wrestling by turning it into a lockup.

Regal pulls him chest first into the middle buckle and starts cranking on the arm, which had been broken earlier in the year and kept Holly on the shelf. Holly gets sent face first into the mat with a wristlock and Regal kneels down onto the arm again. A cross armbreaker keeps Holly in trouble until he manages a crossbody for a breather. Holly gets his arms tied in the ropes but manages to get free and knock Regal down. Sick of the wrestling thing, Holly grabs the title and hits Regal in the head for the DQ at 5:47.

Rating: D+. This felt like it was thrown in to fill time and odds are that is what they were doing. Holly got beaten up the entire time and then got disqualified in the end, which felt like more of a heel move than anything else. Just not very interesting of a match and it didn’t seem important either.

Trish comes in to see Angle and offers her, ahem, assistance tonight. He appreciates it but she can tell Test and Albert that he’s got Undertaker tonight. Kurt: “See you later!”

We recap the Rock vs. Rikishi. Last year, Rikishi ran over Steve Austin and accused Rock of telling him to do it. That wasn’t true though, with Rikishi saying that he did it for Rock because people like them weren’t going to get a shot in this company. Rock beat him up so Rikishi, with the help of real mastermind HHH, crushed Rock’s chest with a sledgehammer.

Rock vs. Rikishi

Rock has a bad chest coming in and charges in to hammer away. The Samoan drop (more like a backdrop) lets Rock grab a chair but the referee pulls it away, allowing Rikishi to superkick him down. Rock’s right hands don’t get him very far as Rikishi slams him right back down to take over again. Rikishi gets sent outside and his head goes into the steps….which shouldn’t hurt him.

It doesn’t seem to be that bad and Rikishi is back with a ram into the timekeeper’s bell. The ref gets bumped (of course) so it’s time to grab the sledgehammer. Since Rikishi is a bad villain (like, a really bad one), he takes so long that Rock can hit a Rock Bottom for a very delayed two. A headbutt to the chest puts Rock down and another one to the head has him rolling around in pain.

There’s another Samoa drop and Rikishi sits on his chest for two. Rikishi crushes him in the corner and gets in the Stinkface, which is the kind of embarrassment you don’t get from Rock too often. The hard clothesline turns Rikishi inside out and there’s a spinebuster, which only hurts the chest again. He’s fine enough to hit the People’s Elbow for the very delayed pin at 11:19.

Rating: C. Thank goodness, as having Rikishi beat the Rock would have been as ridiculous as having Rikishi be the big bad in a major storyline. This was as good as it was going to be and even then it was just a simple injury story. Rikishi is not believable in this spot and that is painfully obvious. At least he lost here, but it isn’t making this any less of a head scratcher.

Post match Rikishi superkicks him again and hits FOUR Banzai Drops. So yeah this is going to continue. Lucky us.

Raven is at WWF New York.

Steve Austin arrives. Dude it’s an hour and twenty minutes into the show. That’s bad even for you.

HHH and the Radicalz aren’t concerned so here’s Commissioner Mick Foley to say the Radicalz are banned from ringside and the match is now No DQ. HHH still doesn’t seem to mind.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Lita

Ivory, as part of the Right to Censor, is defending. Lita throws her down to start and the beatdown is on in a hurry. They get sloppy early on with Ivory shoving her away as Lawler talks about Lita’s underwear. Lita gets choked down in the corner as her eye is busted open BAD. More right hands keep Lita in trouble until she snaps off a headscissors for a breather.

Cue Steven Richards as Ivory is sent outside, meaning Lita gets to dive onto both of them. A high crossbody gets two on Ivory but Richards pulls her away from the Litasault. Somehow that isn’t a DQ, even with the referee looking right at her. The distraction lets Ivory grab the title but Lita suplexes her down. Now the Litasault hits the belt and Ivory retains at 4:56.

Rating: D+. They packed a lot into this one and that eye cut was nasty but it was a pretty weak effort, as was often the case around this era. The biggest problem is trying to put in so much stuff into a five minute match, as there is only so much you can cram into so little time before it stops working. That was the case here and it showed pretty badly.

Post match Lita is a bloody mess and has to be helped out.

Rock is pretty banged up.

Jericho jumps Kane in the back with a chair and drives him into a steel door. Various weapons are used until referees pull Jericho off.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker for the WWF Title. Angle has been the greatest rookie in company history and Undertaker won a four way match to become #1 contender. Undertaker doesn’t think much of a nitwit like Angle, who isn’t laying down for anyone.

Undertaker talks about debuting here ten years ago and tonight, Angle takes his Last Ride.

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is challenging. Before the match, Angle talks about how this is his anniversary so the fans can vote on their favorite rookie year moment. Angle even lists them off until Undertaker’s entrance cuts him off for a tried and true idea. With Angle bailing, Undertaker holds up the title to get in Kurt’s head in a hurry. Undertaker grabs a chair so Angle hides behind the referee like a great coward.

That’s fine with Undertaker, who throws the chair to Angle….who uses it before the bell to take over early on. Angle stomps him down in the corner but you don’t do that to Undertaker, who switches places with him and hammers away. The big leg gets two and an elbow is good for the same, though the second one sees Undertaker pull him up. Old School connects as the fans are happy, though I can’t get around Undertaker’s near camouflage pants.

Angle snaps off the first suplex and Undertaker rolls to the floor, only to catch a diving Angle and drive him into the post. Back in and the big boot misses in the corner, which tends to be the case more often than not. The leg gets bent around the ropes as Angle is a lot more comfortable with the slower pace. Undertaker pulls him down into the Fujiwara armbar but cue Edge and Christian to distract the referee as Angle taps.

The distractions allow Angle to get up and take him back down by the leg, meaning it’s time to lay down and crank a bit. That’s broken up as well so Undertaker goes outside and beats up the Canadians, followed by a chokeslam for two on Angle. The champ is right back up and goes after the knee again, which does at least take Undertaker down for a bit. Angle grabs the Figure Four but gets it turned over for the break.

Undertaker gets two off a powerslam but Angle takes the leg again and Figure Fours it around the post for a bit. The leg is fine enough for Snake Eyes to get two and they’re both down again. A quick low blow (with the referee looking at them) doesn’t have much effect as Undertaker tries the Tombstone with Angle getting out to the apron. Angle tries to crawl underneath the ring but gets pulled back out for the Last Ride. That’s good for two….because the referee is counting the wrong man. That would be Kurt’s brother Eric, allowing Kurt to run back in and roll Undertaker up with tights for the pin at 16:03.

Rating: D+. I really wasn’t feeling this one as the leg stuff kept going but Undertaker kept getting back up without selling the thing. The ending was creative enough (or at least fresh) and that’s better than the selection of stupid finishes they could have used. Just not the best chemistry here and Undertaker never felt like he was in danger of taking a regular fall, which took away any drama they could have had.

Post match Kurt jumps in his car and gets out.

Video on the XFL cheerleaders. Like that’ll have any shelf life.

Edge and Christian/Right To Censor vs. Dudley Boyz/Hardy Boyz

Survivor Series again and Goodfather/Bull Buchanan, with Val Venis, are Tag Team Champions. Buchanan and Bubba start things off with nothing of note happening so it’s off to Goodfather to shoulder D-Von down instead. Everything breaks down in a hurry and it’s a quadruple DDT to plant the villains. The Hardys pull off their shirts to reveal Dudley camouflage but it takes too long, allowing Edge to hit the Edge O Matic to get rid of Matt at 3:58.

D-Von clotheslines Edge and Christian down but a Buchanan distraction sets up the Unprettier to get rid of D-Von at 5:08. Bubba comes in for a heck of a backdrop on Christian and it’s Jeff coming in. That goes better for Christian, who whips him ribs first into the post. Buchanan comes in and gets to stomp away, only to miss a charge so Bubba cane come back in and clean house.

Edge spears Buchanan by mistake and Bubba pins Bull at 7:32. The Bubba Bomb hits Edge and Christian splashes him by mistake to give Bubba another pin at 8:00. So it’s Bubba/Jeff vs. Christian/Goodfather in a bizarre tag match. The Death Valley Driver lets Goodfather get rid of Bubba at 8:42. Jeff is back up and takes Christian down for the Swanton and the pin at 9:34. Goodfather misses a splash in the corner though and Venis clotheslines him by mistake, allowing Jeff to steal the final pin at 10:05.

Rating: D. Oh this didn’t work as it needed about twice as long. They were flying through everything at once and nothing had a chance to make any kind of an impact. Jeff didn’t feel like he won as much as he was the only one they didn’t have time to eliminate. These eight are capable of WAY better but there is only so much that you can do in ten minutes with seven eliminations.

Post match the Right To Censor comes in to destroy Jeff but the Dudleys come in for the save. RTC is put through some tables for the big moment. They really needed to do this here instead of giving the match the extra time? I do miss Bubba’s trance for putting people through tables though.

HHH tells the Radicalz that they know what to do.

We recap HHH vs. Steve Austin. Rikishi ran Austin over last year but Austin came back and beat Rikishi up. Since it was Rikishi vs. Steve Austin, it was clear that someone had to be Rikishi’s boss, which of course was revealed as HHH. JR being stunned that the top heel in the company being the top heel in the story isn’t his best moment. Now it’s about revenge.

Steve Austin vs. HHH

No DQ and the Radicalz are banned from ringside. Austin goes straight to the slugging (as you may have guessed) and sends HHH head first into the buckle. A knee to the ribs sets up more shots to the face before Austin starts going after HHH’s bad back. The Thesz press and middle finger elbow send HHH outside as there is no point in trying for a cover yet. They fight up to the entrance with Austin picking up a piece scaffolding but getting punched back down.

The fight goes backstage for a bit before coming back to the entrance where Austin gets in a suplex. Back to ringside with both guys going into the steps and Austin stomps away at the timekeeper’s area. There’s a monitor shot to the head, followed by Austin picking up the cooler….but thinking twice about it because that’s what Austin does. Austin stomps away to leave a bloody HHH laying, meaning it’s time for a beer.

The empty can goes upside HHH’s busted head and it’s time to go inside again for a lot of punching. HHH’s low blow slows things down a bit and a neckbreaker takes him down. HHH crushes Austin’s head against the post and gets two off a clothesline. Austin grabs a spinebuster but misses the middle rope elbow. It’s back to the floor and a Pedigree attempt on the steps is countered with a backdrop through the announcers’ table.

Agents and referees try to break it up so Austin gets up and chases Benoit outside. HHH is out there as well but we’ve lost Austin so HHH is hiding in a car. Benoit goes off to find Austin and it’s HHH doing a near voiceover, saying we need to finish this. Cue Austin in a forklift to pick HHH’s car up and drop it down (HHH: “HOLY S***!”) to end the show. We’ll say the match ended at about 25:00.

Rating: B+. They did exactly what they should have done here and didn’t try to do anything else. This was all about violence and Austin getting some aggression out because HHH tried to kill him. Austin even had the big moment near the end with the Pillmanizing of the neck. This went well and outside of the ending with the car, it was a heck of a brawl with HHH not getting squashed, as he shouldn’t have.

Overall Rating: D+. The main event helped a lot but this just wasn’t a very good show. It was all about the one big match, Undertaker vs. Angle with a screwy finish and then the just ok Rock vs. Rikishi match. Things were in a weird place here with Austin and Rock now fighting over the top spot and it is clear that Rock took a step down at least for tonight. Rikishi being in one of the bigger matches on a major show is hardly a believable spot and this show just does not hold up, outside of the main event.

Ratings Comparison

Original: D+

2012 Redo: C-

2019 Redo: C-

The Radicalz vs. Team Chyna

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C

2019 Redo: D+

Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C-

2019 Redo: C

William Regal vs. Hardcore Holly

Original: D-

2012 Redo: D-

2019 Redo: D+

The Rock vs. Rikishi

Original: B

2012 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: C

Ivory vs. Lita

Original: D+

2012 Redo: D

2019 Redo: D+

Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: D+

Team Dudley Boys vs. Team Edge and Christian

Original: C-

2012 Redo: C-

2019 Redo: D+

Steve Austin vs. HHH

Original: D-

2012 Redo: B-

2019 Redo: B+

Overall Rating:

Original: D+

2012 Redo: C-

2019 Redo: D+

Dang I’m all over the place with this one but yeah it’s not a great show by any stretch.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/24/survivor-series-2000-i-never-remember-this-show/

And the 2012 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/07/survivor-series-count-up-2000-no-selling-a-car-crash/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Unforgiven 1999
Date: September 26, 1999
Location: Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 15,779
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

After going through a bunch of television with all of the fast matches that rarely have a chance to make an impact, it’s going to be a bit weird to see things getting time. The main event is a Six Pack Challenge with a bunch of main eventers and the British Bulldog fighting for the WWF Title, with Steve Austin as guest referee. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how it all comes to tonight as everyone wanted to avoid being unforgiven.

The referees are still on strike so we have scab referees for the show.

Val Venis vs. Steve Blackman

Venis brings the bag of weapons with him, having recently stolen them. Blackman strikes away to start but Venis kicks him into the corner and gets in some choking. A missed elbow lets Blackman knock him to the floor, with a suplex bringing Venis back in. They’re already back on the floor with Venis being sent into the steps as commentary talks about the main event.

Back in and Blackman whips him hard into the corner and we hit the chinlock. That doesn’t last long as Venis fights up with some elbows. Lawler: “Starting to rise. To the occasion.” JR: “He’s done that for money.” Back up and Blackman’s crossbody is rolled through for two, with referee Steve Lombardi counting at the feet. Venis knocks him down again and hits the Money Shot for the clean pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t worth much of a watch and I’m not sure why they thought it was a feud that needed to have a pay per view match. The whole deal is that Val isn’t overly serious while Blackman is ultra series and….conflict? Just nothing to see but a long TV match and not exactly interesting.

Post match Venis grabs a kendo stick but Blackman takes it away and knocks him cold. Cue the medics, with Blackman yelling at a female nurse. The male security guard tackles Blackman, who leaves rather quickly.

Big Show says he has a killer instinct and will win the title.

We recap Mark Henry defending the European Title against D’Lo Brown. Henry was overweight and Brown tried to get him in better shape. Henry would rather have women and food though, along with the belt. Now Brown wants revenge and the title as well.

Mark Henry hits on Lilian Garcia and gets slapped in the face.

European Title: Mark Henry vs. D’Lo Brown

Henry is defending….in theory, as he says there isn’t going to be a title match tonight. After sending his two women to start the car, Henry says he has a “brainerism” after that slap. Maybe we can do this tomorrow on Raw, but cue Brown to interrupt. They start brawling on the floor and head inside, where the bell rings to officially get things going.

Brown manages a rather impressive Sky High for two, followed by a legdrop for the same. Henry misses a running charge at the ropes and takes a kind of scary crash out to the floor. The big no hands dive (that looked nice) takes Henry down again and a high crossbody gets two back inside.

A big clothesline drops Brown and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and Brown comes back with a crossbody before countering another into a slam (I wonder if the first wasn’t as planned.). The big leg gives Henry two but Brown slips through his legs and grabs a hurricanrana for a double knockdown. Back up and Henry hammers away in the corner, only to get powerbombed down. The Low Down gives Brown the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Oh this wasn’t working and that was very clear. Henry looked awkward and unsure of himself, along with just slow. Brown was doing what he could and was trying but he could only do so much on his own. Bad match, and while Henry is good in segments, the matches aren’t working.

The Acolytes are ready for the Dudley Boyz and just because one of them is white and one of them is Black, that’s where the similarities end. We pause this to see some people beating up Chaz and throwing him out of the locker room. Why was Chaz here if he doesn’t have a match?

Debra isn’t happy with Jeff Jarrett for putting her in the Figure Four but Jarrett doesn’t want to hear it, grabs Miss Kitty and leaves.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Chyna

Jarrett, with Miss Kitty, is defending and is convinced that no woman could ever beat a man. He’s also gone rather nuts and attacked the legs of various women with the Figure Four. Jarrett starts fast but misses a running crotch attack on the ropes. A hard clothesline puts Jarrett down and another one knocks him out to the floor. Jarrett pulls the legs out though and crotches her against the post, with the pain surprising Lawler.

Commentary talks about the women Jarrett has hurt, which has Lawler chuckling, as Jarrett gets two off a high crossbody. A nice dropkick hits Chyna and a superplex into a not great small package gets two. Jarrett hits a DDT onto the arm so he goes up top, only to get electric chaired down. Moolah and Mae Young are worried in the front row as Chyna fights out of a sleeper and grabs a suplex (better than Jarrett’s normal sleeper sequence) to leave them down again.

A powerslam and powerbomb give Jarrett two but he’s back with a powerbomb of his own. They go outside where Chyna hits him with a chair, with Lawler losing his mind over how that isn’t a DQ. Back in and the Pedigree is countered into a catapult to crush referee Harvey Wippleman. The guitar is thrown in….so Moolah and Mae Young run in to beat the fire out of Jarrett, including a double slam.

The crowd goes NUTS, only to be cut off as Jarrett hits a double clothesline. Jarrett loads up the Figure Four but here is Debra with a heck of a guitar shot to knock him cold. Chyna gets the pin and the title….but head scab referee Tom Prichard comes in to reverse the decision.

Rating: C. They were trying here and Jarrett was able to carry Chyna to something watchable enough. It’s pretty clear that the big blowoff is still coming with Jarrett getting what is coming to him, so hopefully they can do a bit better than this one in the rematch. That being said, the highlight here was definitely Moolah and Mae, as they beat the fire out of Jarrett for a bit and made it work. It worked and was hilarious at the same time, which is hard to do.

Post match Chyna Pedigrees Prichard to blow off some steam.

Steve Austin promises a new WWF Champion tonight.

Acolytes vs. Dudley Boyz

It’s a brawl to start as Jimmy Korderas has crossed the picket line so we have a regular referee. D-Von gets knocked down on the floor, leaving Bubba to get caught with a double flapjack. A superplex gives Bradshaw two as Lawler makes a bunch of jokes about Moolah and Mae Young. Bubba is knocked outside and whipped hard into the steps but he’s back in with a belly to belly.

It’s back to D-Von for a running neckbreaker but the fall away slam sends him flying. Faarooq can’t hit the Dominator so it’s back to Bradshaw, who gets caught in the reverse 3D for another near fall. D-Von hits his top rope headbutt, only for Bradshaw to pop up and catch him on top with a belly to back superplex (and a nice one at that). A quick 3D connects…but Stevie Richards comes in dressed as an Acolyte (with the UPN logo on his chest) to superkick D-Von for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not a bad power tag match as the Acolytes could still go well enough. I’m not sure about beating the hot new team in the Dudleys but at least there was some interference. The Dudleys are still trying to find their groove around here, but the 3D is such an awesome finisher that they’re already off to a good start.

Post match the Acolytes beat Richards down.

Women’s Title: Luna vs. Ivory

Ivory is defending in a Hardcore match and they start fighting in the back. Luna throws a TV at Ivory, makes photocopies of her face, and throws a phone at her before sending her into some walls. Ivory is back with a toss into a trashcan for…well no count as her shoulders aren’t down, but if falls count anywhere, shouldn’t they count in a place with her shoulders not down?

I guess a fall has to include shoulders down to be counted as a fall, but the technical aspect is broken up by Luna splashing her off a forklift for two. Cue Tori to take a swing at Ivory but she gets knocked into an anvil case. Ivory hits Luna with a pole for the pin to retain. Tori added nothing here.

Rating: C-. Well, Ivory gets to retain and Tori was kind of there as well, but this was little more than a segment described as a match. They were doing the usual hardcore stuff but backstage, which doesn’t leave them with much to do. Rather dull again, which is rapidly becoming the norm with these hardcore based match.

Moolah and Mae Young want Jeff Jarrett to stay out of their business but Ivory runs in to say stay out of her business. That earns Ivory another beating.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are defending. Gunn powers Edge into the corner to start but Edge is back out with a takedown into a headlock. Dogg comes in for a headlock of his own but Christian comes in off a blind tag for a dropkick. That doesn’t last long as it’s Gunn coming in for some ax handles to the back, plus a gorilla press onto Dogg’s knee for a near fall. Christian gets up and hands it back to Edge, who gets punched in the face a few times.

The slow pace continues with Dogg being knocked outside and sent into the steps to put the Canadians in control for the first time. The chinlock goes on before Dogg and Christian hit stereo crossbodies. Dogg still can’t get over to Gunn so we’ll go with some stomping in the corner instead. A side slam/layout reverse DDT combination gives Christian two as JR is getting into Edge and Christian’s rapid tagging.

Dogg finally manages a double DDT and everyone but Gunn is down. The diving tag brings Gunn in to clean house with a powerslam getting two on Christian. The reverse layout DDT gets Christian out o trouble but cue Gangrel and Matt Hardy to pull Christian to the floor. Jeff Hardy adds a dropkick to Edge and the Fameasser retains the titles.

Rating: B. I wouldn’t have expected this to be the match of the night so far but they pulled it off here. The Outlaws weren’t known as being the most polished team ever but they worked really well together and that was on display here. The same was true of Edge and Christian, who were pretty clearly wanting to work hard in a big spot, which was pretty much the norm for them.

HHH and British Bulldog won’t say if they’re together or not but they’ll do what it takes to win tonight.

Big Boss Man doesn’t regret anything he’s done to Al Snow because he’s used to dealing with people inside a cage, dogs or not.

The Cell is lowered and the cage is built.

Al Snow is going to beat up the Big Boss Man for Pepper’s memory.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Big Boss Man

Snow is defending and this is the Kennel From Hell match, meaning there’s a regular cage and the Cell around it, with rottweilers in between the two cages. It’s the old story: Boss Man wanted to be Hardcore Champion and cooked Snow’s dog and fed it to him as a result. There are no dogs to start (uh oh) and only Snow is in the cage. That leaves Boss Man between the cage and the Cell as the dogs come out.

We’re nearly two minutes in as the dogs are finally brought inside, where one of them immediately relieves himself. Boss Man climbs the cage but Snow hits it with a shovel to avoid getting inside. The dogs start arguing with each other as Snow drops to the floor, where he climbs the Cell despite the dogs not chasing him.

Snow manages to get onto the regular cage wall but Boss Man catches him on top for a superplex inside, meaning they’re both inside the ring for the first time about three and a half minutes in. The dogs keep barking at each other as Boss Man sends Snow into the cage. The slow beating continues, with Boss Man hitting him in the head with a cookie sheet a few times.

With Snow down (and bleeding), Boss Man grabs a pair of pliers to try and cut open the top. The dogs have at least stopped barking as Boss man has ripped open part of the Cell’s roof. A low blow brings Boss Man back down but he drops Snow with a shot to the face. It’s time for powder, which is knocked into the Boss Man’s eyes, as the dogs have been forgotten or the time being. Snow hits him in the head to bust Boss Man open as well and there’s a shovel shot to his back.

The dogs are looking at each other as Snow starts to unhook a turnbuckle. Snow can’t get one of the dogs to bite Boss Man’s arm so Boss Man hits Snow in the head with a nasty shovel shot (JR: “OH MAN! Ok that’ll be enough.”). Boss Man cuffs Snow to the turnbuckle as JR explains that you have to escape to win.

If that was mentioned before, it wasn’t exactly emphasized. Snow breaks the cuffs to escape and catches Boss Man trying to go through the ceiling. The dogs have been a complete non-factor and barely seen for about seven minutes now so Snow hits Boss Man with Head. Snow goes outside, climbs the Cell, and kicks the door open to retain as Boss Man gets out through the roof.

Rating: F. What in the world is there to say here? There are bad matches where you can see some kind of an idea that might have worked if something went well, but that was in no way shape or form the case here. I have no idea how this got green lit to be on the show, but it wasn’t exactly wrestling, it wasn’t exactly a hardcore match, it wasn’t exactly a cage match and it wasn’t exactly a Cell match.

The dogs were a total non factor and that isn’t a surprise as they aren’t likely trained television performers, so there was only so much they could do. This is just such a chase of wondering how no one stopped this in the setup process, as multiple people were apparently convinced this was a good idea. Absolutely all time awful match (a word I use loosely), but above all else I’m more interested in how we got here, because it should never have happened.

Mankind is going into the main event but is ready to take out the Rock if necessary.

Chris Jericho vs. X-Pac

This was added on Heat (as Ken Shamrock is gone) and Curtis Hughes is here with Jericho. The cage is still being taken down as Jericho makes his entrance so we get a lot of vamping. Before the match, Jericho says he’s here to save Charlotte and this boring, brutal pay per view by giving everyone what they really wanted to see: him! We actually get to the match and they go technical to start with neither getting very far.

Back up and X-Pac scores with some kicks so Jericho fires off the chops. The big kick misses for X-Pac and Jericho drops him with a clothesline. A missed charge lets X-Pac kick him down in the corner but X-Pac has to put the brakes on with the Bronco Buster. Jericho is knocked outside, where X-Pac’s big dive mostly hits the floor for the nasty crash. Back in and Jericho hits a nice missile dropkick, setting up the double arm crank.

That’s broken up so Jericho goes with a backbreaker to put him down again. The fans get distracted by something in the crowd as Jericho hits a slingshot splash for two (that one didn’t stick) and we hit the chinlock as the crowd calms down. Jericho hits the Lionsault and hammers away as the fans are STILL distracted (Geez how drunk was that fan?). The triangle dropkick sends X-Pac outside where Hughes gets in a cheap shot, as any good bodyguard should.

Back in and one heck of a spinwheel kick gives X-Pac a breather, allowing him to dive onto Hughes. Jericho gets dropped for two but manages a low blow to cut off the Bronco Buster. They go up top with X-Pac hitting a superplex for two, only to get caught with the double powerbomb for a rather delayed two. Jericho goes up but gets pulled down but this time X-Pac ties him in the Tree Of Woe for the Bronco Buster. That’s enough for Jericho as he decks the referee for the DQ.

Rating: B-. For a thrown together match, this could have been much worse, with the crowd distraction causing a big problem. They were able to stall long enough to avoid things getting out of hand and that’s a sign of people who know what they’re doing. I can get why X-Pac didn’t lose clean here, though Jericho absolutely feels like one of the hottest things in the company and a win would have suited everything a bit better.

Post match the double beating is on but Road Dogg runs in for the save.

We recap the Six Pack Challenge and here’s the short version: Mankind wins title, HHH wins title, everyone hates HHH, Vince wins title, Vince vacates title, HHH runs gimmick gauntlet, multiple gimmicks wasted in one night, six people fight for the title, British Bulldog doesn’t belong here.

WWF Title: HHH vs. Kane vs. Big Show vs. Mankind vs. The Rock vs. British Bulldog

For the vacant title, one fall to a finish, Kane has the awesome inverted gear, HHH is here with Chyna, and Steve Austin is the outside referee. Austin actually sits in on commentary and thankfully we have tags, meaning Rock and Bulldog start things off. Rock hammers him down into the corner but Bulldog gets in a quick shot, allowing HHH to come in and beat Rock down on the ropes.

A hot shot gets Rock out of trouble for two and it’s off to Kane, who misses an elbow as commentary argues over whether Jimmy Korderas is a scab referee. Show shoves Kane off the top as Austin says he doesn’t quite understand the concept here, despite it not being that complicated. Kane comes back in to drop Mankind with a clothesline but Mankind hits some running kicks, allowing Austin to make some dropkick jokes.

It’s back to Show, who gets enziguried out to the floor but he’s back in to superkick Kane. The rapid fire changes continue as Bulldog hits Rock low, which Austin says he can appreciate. The non-delayed suplex puts Rock down and it’s off to Mankind, who immediately tags out to Kane. Mankind comes right back in for a Texas piledriver to Kane for two but HHH comes in. That’s fine with Mankind, who sends him out into the steps and everything breaks down, with all six brawling up the aisle.

Mankind hits another Texas piledriver and sends HHH into the steps but Bulldog is right on him back inside. Kane beats on Rock on the floor as we settle down to Mankind stomping Bulldog in the corner. Mankind tags Rock in, with both JR and Austin not getting the thinking. Show comes in to kick Kane down and here are the rest of the referees to yell at Jimmy Korderas.

It’s back to Mankind as Austin has to get the other two commentators back on the match. The big elbow gives Show two, with Rock making the save. HHH and Rock fight to the floor with Rock stealing Austin’s beer for a drink. Back in and Kane Tombstones Mankind but Show tags himself in, only to get hit with the top rope clothesline. Bulldog powerslams Kane but gets Pedigreed for his efforts. Rock takes out HHH but gets DDTed by Mankind, setting up the Mandible Claw (Austin: “I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT!”).

The Mandible Claw is reversed into the Rock Bottom for two with HHH making the save this time. Show comes in to clean house and hits the chokeslam on Mankind but the other referees pull Korderas out and beat him up for crossing the picket lines. Austin beats up the referees and comes back in to count Rock’s two on HHH, with the fans going nuts. The Rock Bottom hits HHH but Show pulls Austin out. Back in and Bulldog chairs Rock into the Pedigree before Austin chairs Bulldog. Austin has to count the pin to make HHH the champion.

Rating: B. It was a fun match and the referee thing (as unnecessary as it was) did tie into the ending, with Austin already being set up as the first challenger, but there was just so much going on here. That’s a problem with just about everything going on in the company at the moment and the main event was no exception. Thank goodness for the tags here as it could have been even worse. Things also took their time to get going, but the ending was rather good with all of the big stars going nuts until the finish. Just calm down a bit more and let some things breathe.

Post match HHH yells at Austin, who lays him out with a Stunner to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The main event and the Tag Team Title match are good, but they’re not enough to carry a weak undercard and an all time mess of a Kennel match. The problem with having so many of the big stars in one match was clear here, as it didn’t leave much else for everyone to do. There are worse shows out there, but this was not a good one and is absolutely not worth a look, even with a few nice matches.

 

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Smackdown
Date: September 23, 1999
Location: Reunion Arena, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,348
Commentators: Michael Hayes, Michael Cole

It’s the last show before Unforgiven and things got a bit more interesting on Raw, as Vince McMahon made the main event of the pay per view for the vacant title. HHH will be involved as well, with Steve Austin as the referee to stack the odds even higher. Other than that, Jeff Jarrett is still a woman hating psycho so we’ll probably get more from him. Let’s get to it.

Here is Raw is you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Vince McMahon, who wastes no time in introducing HHH, naturally with Chyna. Vince brags about being back in charge, and if what he did to HHH on Monday was a headache, tonight will be a migraine. This Sunday, HHH will be facing five opponents at once, but tonight he’ll be facing all of them again , but one on one. And on top of that, we’ll have a special stipulation for each:

The Rock – Brahma Bull Rope Match

Undertaker – Casket Match

Mankind – Boiler Room Brawl

Kane – Inferno Match

Big Show – Chokeslam Challenge

Now, HHH doesn’t have to win all of the matches to keep his spot in the Six Pack Challenge, but he does have to win 3/5. And we’ll start here.

HHH vs. Big Show

Chokeslam Challenge, meaning you win by chokeslamming your opponent. Show fires off some headbutts to start but HHH slugs away in the corner. That earns him a heck of a chop but Show misses a charge. HHH tries a chokeslam, which goes as well as you would expect, with Show hitting one of his own for the win.

HHH: 0-1

Post match Show chokeslams him again and tries a third but a Chyna distraction is enough for the save.

The referees were on strike earlier today when the Dudley Boyz came in and beat them up.

Chris Jericho is ready to prove how dangerous he is tonight by making Ken Shamrock bleed. Just don’t get it on his clothes. That’s because they have a first blood match, because when HHH is in FIVE GIMMICK MATCHES, we need a sixth.

European Title: X-Pac vs. Mark Henry

X-Pac is challenging and here is D’Lo Brown to join commentary. X-Pac strikes away to start and is quickly launched into the air for a crash down onto the mat. The bearhug is broken up but the Bronco Buster misses. Henry hits a splash in the corner but misses an elbow, with Brown saying that’s why Henry needs to lose weight. X-Pac kicks away and hits the Bronco Buster before knocking Henry out to the floor…for the countout.

Rating: C. X-Pac can do the hit and run offense rather well and this was just believable enough to work. There wasn’t exactly much of a reason to believe that the title would change hands here as Brown vs. Henry is already set but this could have been far worse. If nothing else, at least it wasn’t a pinfall before a title match like Test pinning Jeff Jarrett on Raw.

Luna wants the Women’s Title.

Here is Jeff Jarrett, with Miss Kitty, for a chat. Jarrett introduces himself to the fans, which they should probably know if he’s the Intercontinental Champion, before saying Debra didn’t know her place and that’s why she’s injured. A stage manager asks Jarrett to wrap it up so Jarrett loads up the Figure Four. Cue Chyna with a frying pan to the head for the save, complete with Chyna giving him a soup ladle, frying pan and an apron. Then she steals his trunks and puts them on for a bonus. On Sunday, Jarrett will see who is wearing the pants and the title.

HHH vs. Kane

Inferno match and Chyna is here with HHH. Kane shrugs off the right hands to start but it’s too early to light HHH on fire. The facebuster and jumping knee to the face have Kane down, though not enough to light him on fire either. The Pedigree is blocked and Kane hits a chokeslam….but a bloody X-Pac is down on the stage. Undertaker, Mideon and Viscera show up as well so Kane dives over the fire onto the minions. A hard shot knocks Kane into the fire though and HHH wins.

Rating: D. So in one night, we’re not only burning through a bunch of gimmick matches, but also making them feel lame, as this was a three and a half minute match with interference. Kane vs. HHH in an Inferno Match is easily a pay per view level match, but here it is about 45 minutes into a Smackdown with no notice coming into the show. That’s Russo’s take on gimmick matches in a nutshell and it’s another big waste.

HHH: 1-1

Kane, with his hand still on fire, goes to check on X-Pac, which has to be some kind of a health hazard.

Post break and Kane is very upset at what happened to X-Pac.

Undertaker brags about hurting X-Pac and Kane as a result. With that, he’s ready to go, but Lilian Garcia brings up the casket match. Undertaker says that isn’t happening because Vince McMahon doesn’t order him to do anything. Vince pops in and says if he isn’t in the casket match, he’s not participating at Unforgiven either. Undertaker says maybe he won’t be participating in anything around here and walks away.

Here is the Rock for a chat. He doesn’t think too much of HHH bragging, but he does think something of the Dallas Stars in the front row. The Rock has asked to borrow the Stanley Cup (which the Stars won earlier in the year) for the purposes of personally violating HHH. Cue Mankind to interrupt, and while he doesn’t know who this Stanley guy is, but he has a cup (as in the protective kind) for the Rock, because we have to protect the People’s Jewels so we can have Rock Jr. one day.

Mankind thinks the people want to see the Boiler Room Brawl, because he is going to take a steel pipe, shine it up real nice, turn it sideways….and hit HHH right over the head with it! Cue Road Dogg to interrupt, saying no one wants to see the Boiler Room Brawl or the Brahma Bull Rope match. What people want to see is this, so here is Billy Gunn, as the Outlaws are back together. That sounds like a challenge, and Mankind says the Rock N Sock Connection is in.

Tag Team Titles: Rock N Sock Connection vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are challenging and Gunn neckbreakers Mankind for two to start. Dogg comes in to hammer away but it’s off to Rock to do the same. Mankind adds the running knee and whips Dogg into the barricade. Back in and Dogg hammers on Rock, who drops him with a single punch.

The low blow has Dogg in more trouble and it’s back to Mankind (who was already in the ring when he was tagged). Everything breaks down and Gunn breaks up the Rock Bottom as Mankind was already posing. Mankind is sent into the ropes, where his knee gives out as he collides with Rock. The Fameasser gives Gunn the pin and the titles totally clean.

Rating: C. Not the smoothest match but it was nice to see something go down without all kinds of shenanigans. At the same time, it’s weird to see the Outlaws getting the big face pop for the reunion against the super team of Rock and Mankind. You usually wouldn’t put two face teams together like that, but 1999 and all that. It does help that Rock and Mankind had to do something before facing HHH, making things a bit more even.

The Outlaws hit their catchphrase as the team is back.

Vince McMahon swaps Mideon and Viscera in for Undertaker in the casket match.

HHH doesn’t care.

Al Snow is worried about someone being late and checks his watch, which he needs to get fixed as it’s running slow. Snow is not wearing a watch.

HHH vs. Mideon/Viscera

Casket Match and the rather busy Chyna is here with HHH as well. HHH slugs away to start but gets taken down, with Viscera’s splash hitting Mideon by mistake. Chyna gets in a low blow on Viscera so HHH hits a Pedigree each and throws Mideon in for the win. Or not actually, as Shane McMahon says HHH has to put BOTH of them in the casket at the same time. The double teaming is on again and some splashes crush HHH for the easy win. Not long enough to rate counting the Shane interference, but egads the overbooking is nuts on this show.

HHH: 1-2

Ivory agrees to face Luna in a hardcore match for the Women’s Title at Unforgiven.

Hardcore Holly vs. Al Snow

Hardcore match and Crash Holly is in Hardcore’s corner. Before the match, Hardcore says Al Snow owes him a favor for injuring Big Boss Man on Raw. Holly hammers away to start and hits a dropkick as commentary talks about everything else going on tonight. We see Big Boss Man tormenting the rottweilers in a car in the back, which fires Snow up. Snow takes out an invading Crash but walks into the Falcon Arrow for the fast pin.

Post match Big Boss Man runs in and feeds Al Snow dog food.

HHH vs. Mankind

Boiler Room Brawl, with the winner being the first person to escape as soon as the door is closed. For some reason HHH doesn’t just step right back outside, instead waiting for Mankind to charge at him and start the brawl. They hit each other with various things as HHH takes over, including hitting him with a big metal pole.

Mankind hits him in the back with a wooden stick but a whip into a transformer cuts him off. A suplex onto a bunch of bolts has Mankind in more trouble but instead of leaving, HHH misses a shot with a pipe. The Mandible Claw has HHH mostly out cold and Mankind goes to leave, only to stop and go for an elbow. Never mind that Foley would have had to jump 15 feet, but someone we can’t see shoves him off the platform for a crash (nowhere near HHH), allowing HHH to win.

Rating: D. Add it to the list of matches we had to rush through to get everything included on this show. This one didn’t exactly work because of the time (shocking) but also because the boiler room was rather cramped and they couldn’t do much. The big crash at the end looked good, but it was also pretty much given away because Foley would have been six feet short on a dive even if no one had pushed him.

HHH: 2-2

The British Bulldog is looking for Vince McMahon.

Ken Shamrock vs. Chris Jericho

First Blood and Jericho is in full Buffalo Sabers hockey gear, complete with a face mask. Shamrock strikes away to start before throwing him down by the mask a few times. A posting doesn’t do much good for Shamrock but Jericho is at least rather shaken up. Back in and Shamrock kicks him low before finally getting smart enough to take off the mask. Cue Curtis Hughes for a distraction, allowing Jericho to get in some hockey stick shots. A top rope splash makes Shamrock bleed internally to wrap it up. That would be it for Shamrock in WWE, as he loses a First Blood match in less than three minutes. Thrilling.

Vince McMahon meets with British Bulldog, who was promised a WWF Title shot. Works for Vince, who gives him Undertaker’s spot in the Six Pack Challenge. Bulldog is pleased, so he’ll be special referee for the Brahma Bull Rope match. Vince doesn’t quite get it but signs of anyway. Bulldog is a stretch for a pay per view main event but if Undertaker is hurt, it’s all they could do.

HHH vs. The Rock

Brahma Bull Rope match, meaning a strap match with pinfalls and submissions, British Bulldog is guest referee and HHH, with Chyna, has to win to stay in the Six Pack Challenge. Rock hammers away to start and they’re on the floor early on. Make that out into the crowd where the camera takes a second to catch up.

HHH gets the better of things before they go back to ringside, where Rock manages a whip into the steps for two on the floor, because this is apparently falls count anywhere. Back in and HHH knocks him down, setting up a low blow. Hold on though as Bulldog and HHH get into a fight, allowing Rock to punch HHH out to the floor again.

A DDT on the floor gets another near fall (because that’s a near fall in HHH’s fifth match of the night) and they fight up to the entrance. Cue Jeff Jarrett to hit Chyna in the back with a frying pan to knock her cold, setting up a Figure Four. Jarrett lets that go in a few seconds and leaves as the people actually in the match get back inside. The facebuster drops Rock but he’s back with the Rock Bottom…and Bulldog drops HHH with a clothesline. The running powerslam sets up the Pedigree to give HHH the win.

Rating: D-. So there was interference that didn’t matter in the result of the match, interference that did matter in the main event and the bull rope didn’t add a thing to the whole thing. I get that they had to do something with another gimmick, but the falls count anywhere thing was out of nowhere and the whole thing was a mess. Maybe it’s just gimmick overload, but this was the one last bad thing on a show full of them.

HHH: 3-2

Bulldog and HHH beat Rock down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Here’s what’s so frustrating about this show: there is a good idea in there somewhere. HHH having to run a gauntlet to stay in a title match isn’t a terrible idea (though it’s quite a good guy thing rather than something you would normally see from a mega heel) but this was all taking place in the span of less than two hours with no notice. Since wrestling five matches in one night for anyone is tricky enough, having those five matches last about half an hour at most combined. It’s hard to fathom how you can run through THAT MUCH in one night, but Russo managed to pull it off.

That’s in addition to a hardcore match and First Blood match, plus two more matches. It’s a case of what could have been and good night there was a lot of potential wasted here. This felt like a video game more than a wrestling show, and it’s also a good example of why that’s a really bad idea. Horrible execution here, even if there was something of an idea.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 20, 1999
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 11,879
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Vince McMahon is the WWF Champion. What else is there to say in a situation like this? McMahon won the title from HHH in little more than a fluke after interference from Steve Austin and that means things are going to get even wackier around here. We’re also six days away from Unforgiven so we’ll have to see where things go. Let’s get to it.

Here is Smackdown if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of HHH challenging Vince McMahon to a WWF Title match on Smackdown and somehow managing to lose the title, albeit thanks to Steve Austin.

Opening sequence.

JR calls this an action adventure series. Good grief Vince stop overthinking things.

Here is Vince McMahon, who opens his jacket to reveal the title in a great shot. Vince says anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation and the grin is amazing. The thing is, due to a previous agreement, he can’t have anything to do with day to day business. Therefore, the title is officially vacant and the winner of the Six Pack Challenge at Unforgiven will be the new champion.

Cue Steve Austin to interrupt, saying that while they can’t stand each other, the place hasn’t been the same without him. Austin gets to the point though: if Vince isn’t in the match at Unforgiven, there are five people in a Six Pack and Austin doesn’t like an incomplete Six Pack. He wants Vince to put him in the match but that would be doing business so Vince isn’t allowed.

Cue HHH and Chyna, again with security, to interrupt. HHH is livid and wants the title shot too….but Austin says there are 16,000 (not quite) people calling him an a******. HHH threatens Vince, only to have Shane McMahon come out and say no one in his family is getting hurt. Tonight, we’ll do Vince/Shane vs. HHH/Chyna, which surprises Vince.

Shane leaves and Vince recaps the “I can’t do business” thing, but Austin says that the fine print (HELLO RUSSO!) says Austin and Austin alone can reinstate him. He’ll do it for a title shot, which works for Vince….but Austin will face the winner rather than being in the Six Pack Challenge. HHH is in the match, because it means more people can beat him up.

HHH says screw Vince, but Vince says screw HHH, because Austin is going to be the guest enforcer. They were rushing through stuff here and the “you didn’t read the fine print” stuff is always horrible. Otherwise, Vince dropping the belt is fine as there was no reason to keep the title on him for any length of time.

Rock meets a security guard named Louise and sings her some Elvis as a birthday present. And gives her money.

Mankind is in the boiler room and gets in a fight with Mideon, who appears to just be browsing. Viscera comes in to help beat Mankind out through the door, where Big Show helps beat him up as we take a break. During the break, the Rock made the save.

Video on Ken Shamrock vs. Chris Jericho.

The referees are still on strike.

Chris Jericho vs. Billy Gunn

Curtis Hughes is here too. Jericho’s shoulder runs Gunn over to start (that’s a surprise) but Gunn is back up with a suplex. They head outside where Gunn goes after Hughes, allowing Jericho to come back with a triangle dropkick. The floor pads are peeled back but Gunn suplexes him onto…well onto the pads actually. Hughes gets in a cheap shot but Gunn is fine enough to grab a powerslam for two back inside. The Jackhammer connects, only for Jericho to grab replacement referee Tom Prichard. That lets Hughes DDT Gunn onto the concrete, so the Walls can finish the out cold Gunn.

Rating: C+. Yeah you had interference and such, but this was as close as you’re going to get to a clean match around here. Jericho gets a win over someone with some status, but it also makes Hughes look like that much more of a threat. Hughes looked like a goof in his first appearances, so having him actually help Jericho is a good move.

Mankind tells Michael Cole to know his mouth and shut his role (yep) because he wants Big Show and Undertaker to defend the Tag Team Titles against himself and the Rock. Cue the Rock to complain about a broken watch, even though he wasn’t here to do anything but sing Happy Birthday to….that old woman whose name he can’t remember.

After putting a Rock shirt over Cole’s head (Rock didn’t like how he was looking at him), Rock goes on about Undertaker not liking his trash talk. Rock even talks trash in his sleep (and he demonstrates) and the challenge is on. Mankind keeps the shirt and insists that everything between himself and Rock is platonic.

Undertaker tells Rock to find his writers to come up with an apology for him because he’s in trouble. The title match is on, under Darkside Rules, whatever that means.

Here is Ivory, who says it’s time to party. She’s sick of all the vermin and insects in this time (JR: “I haven’t seen any rats!”) but will defend the title against any sick creature on the roster, like Luna Vachon! For now though, she issues a challenge to anyone in the crowd and here’s a woman to accept. And of course it’s Luna.

Luna vs. Ivory

Non-title and Luna gives her a slam into a DDT for the pin in short order.

D’Lo Brown says he was just trying to look out for his friend when he tried to get Mark Henry in better shape. He’s ready to beat Henry up at Unforgiven, but Henry chairs him in the back.

The McMahons talk strategy.

Post break, D’Lo Brown jumps in a car and drives off, presumably after Mark Henry.

Test, with Stephanie McMahon, is ready for a street fight against Jeff Jarrett. Cue Jarrett, who says he wants a mixed tag instead, with Stephanie and Debra as partners. Stephanie accepts and even Test knows this is a really bad idea.

Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Gangrel is here with the Hardys and the Acolytes are on commentary. Bradshaw gives the Acolytes’ three demandments: don’t drink our beer, don’t mess with our rats and don’t cut a promo on us! Stevie Richards walks down, dressed as a Dudley Boy, as Faarooq mocks Bubba Ray’s stutter. Richards’ distraction doesn’t work but he gets in a brawl with Gangrel, allowing Matt to get two off a neckbreaker. Instead it’s a suplex into the Swanton for two on D-Von, only for Bubba to powerbomb Jeff on the floor. Matt misses a moonsault and the 3D finishes him off.

Post match the Acolytes are in to brawl with the Dudleyz, with Richards and Gangrel still fighting. There was WAY too much going on in this whole thing, but Bradshaw going unhinged was funny.

Jeff Jarrett puts the makeup woman in the Figure Four.

Jeff Jarrett/Debra vs. Test/Stephanie McMahon

Test slams him down to start but Jarrett is back up with a shot to the face. Debra won’t tag in so Test hits the pumphandle powerslam. The top rope elbow connects and Stephanie pins Jarrett in less than two minutes. Remember that Jarrett is the reigning Intercontinental Champion with a pay per view title defense, not against Test, in six days.

Post match Jarrett yells at Debra and puts her in the Figure Four.

Rock isn’t listening to anything Mankind says. Mankind: “ROODY POO!”

Undertaker is talking to Kane.

Tag Team Titles: Mankind/The Rock vs. Big Show/Undertaker

Undertaker and Big Show are defending in Darkside Rules which means….no idea yet, but Rock thinks it means Mideon and Viscera will get involved. Rock didn’t like Undertaker suggesting that Rock has writers, so he wrote his own little rhyme about sending Undertaker to the Smackdown Hotel. Undertaker sits in on commentary and still won’t explain the rules, but here are Mideon and Viscera, just like the Rock predicted.

Apparently this is now a handicap match (with Rock and Show in street clothes) as Mideon and Mankind start things off. Mankind hits a running knee in the corner but Show takes him outside for a rather hard toss. It’s quickly off to Rock for the Rock Bottom on Viscera with Mideon having to make the save (Undertaker: “That’s harmony.” Harmony?). Cue Kane, whose top rope clothesline hits Big Show, apparently on purpose. Kane knocks Show to the floor and leaves, with Undertaker swearing Vengeance. The Mandible Claw, Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow finish Mideon to give Rock and Mankind the titles.

Rating: C-. Sure why not. That’s the reaction to a lot of these things, but Rock and Mankind were able to make almost anything work. It’s becoming more and more obvious that Undertaker is injured and unable to wrestle at the moment, so this was about the only way to get the titles off of he and Show. Not much of a match of course because that’s not the point, but a coherent ten minute match would be nice for a change.

Marianna, looking roughed up, says she made a mistake with Shawn Stasiak but doesn’t deserve this. Chaz comes up and gets taken away by cops. So not only are they doing a domestic abuse angle, but Chaz was wearing Scooby Doo boxers.

Undertaker sends his minions after Kane.

Steve Blackman vs. Shawn Stasiak

Val Venis comes out with Blackman’s bag of weapons and joins commentary as Stasiak kicks away in the corner. Venis makes references about Blackman being, uh, small in certain areas as JR hears a buzzing noise. They trade kicks as commentary keeps going on about the buzzing. Blackman grabs the bag and finds…a vibrator. Stasiak gets a rollup for the fast pin. Keep in mind that we went from a domestic abuse angle to this in the span of five minutes.

Here is Undertaker to call Kane a weak coward and it ends tonight. Cue Kane, but here are Mideon, Viscera and Big Show to beat him down. Kane is covered in gasoline but Show can’t get the lighter to work, allowing Mankind and Rock to make the save with baseball bats.

Earlier today, Al Snow had a funeral for Pepper, with the rottweilers standing guard. Snow swears vengeance….and then we cut to a still from GTV of Big Boss Man relieving himself on the grave.

Hardcore Holly vs. Big Boss Man

Hardcore match with Crash Holly in Hardcore’s corner. After Hardcore makes a reference to Boss Man being, uh, soft in a certain personal area, they fight to the floor to start. Boss Man hits him with a chair but Hardcore breaks a pitcher over Boss Man’s head. Cue Al Snow on screen to show the rottweilers attacking a dummy. Boss Man handcuffs Hardcore to the rope but Crash gets in a shot with a wrench for the pin (with Hardcore still cuffed).

Mark Henry is at a strip club when D’Lo Brown attacks. The dancers were totally fine with a full camera crew filming them on national TV.

Jeff Jarrett jumps Chyna again but HHH and security break it up.

HHH/Chyna vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Before the match, HHH promises to win the WWF Title back and neither Vince nor Austin can do anything about it. Hold on though as there’s no Vince, as there is a forklift blocking his dressing room door. We have a substitute though.

HHH/Chyna vs. Test/Shane McMahon

It’s a brawl to start with Shane spearing Chyna and then doing the same to HHH before all four fight outside. Back in and Shane gets crotched on the buckle as something resembling a tag match breaks out. HHH stomps away and hits the facebuster for two before Chyna grabs the chinlock.

That’s broken up and Shane brings in Test to hammer on HHH In the corner. What looks to be a superplex is broken up but Shane is back in with the Bronco Buster. Cue Jeff Jarrett to draw Chyna to the back, leaving HHH to block Test’s top rope elbow. Another low blow puts Shane down again so HHH decks the referee. Back to back Pedigrees leave Shane and Test laying so HHH wears them out with a chair, which is enough for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was thee closest thing to a match that I’ve seen around here in a few months so it could have been worse. HHH going out there to wreck people is acceptable in this case as Test had already wrestled (barely, but he did wrestle) and Shane isn’t a full time wrestler, meaning it was logical enough. Not much of a match and too much going on, but that’s how things work around here.

Post match HHH goes to leave but Vince McMahon pops up to hit him with a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. As has been the case forever with Russo, the problem comes down to “slow down already”. There is just so much going on and it hurts the good things that are taking place. It’s easy enough to keep track of stuff, but having Chaz beating up his ex-girlfriend (or at last implying it) and then the stuff with Venis and Blackman comes so far out of left field and brings things down. They really need to cut out the terrible parts to boost this up, because even Austin and company can only do so much with nonsense like “here’s the fine print”.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 6, 2000
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was a requested show and I can always go from some time in a different era. We are between No Mercy and Survivor Series, meaning that Kurt Angle is the new WWF Champion. In a bigger story though, Steve Austin is back and looking for revenge on Rikishi. Other that, Austin and the Rock already aren’t getting along so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Rikishi accusing the Rock of being behind Rikishi attacking Steve Austin, which has Austin even more paranoid than usual. This resulted in Austin costing Rock a WWF Title shot and it’s time for some revenge.

Opening sequence.

Here is a returning Vince McMahon for a chat. Vince talks about how tomorrow is Election Day and you have to wonder who everyone is going to vote for. Who will Steve Austin vote for? Or the Rock? Even Al Snow’s vote matters! Vince wants all of the people here to vote because wrestling fans are always on the outside looking in to the political arena. Pundits don’t care about wrestling fans because they don’t vote.

The two major parties already have all of their voting blocks locked up but those people cancel each other out. How interesting is it that those groups will not elect the next President? The average American, a WWF fan, will make the pick. Vince encourages us to vote for the candidate who lies the least and wants us to vote no matter what.

Cue Steve Austin and dang I miss the look on McMahon’s face when that glass shatters. Vince welcomes him back and extends a hand but Austin just takes the mic instead. Austin says it’s fine and dandy to talk politics, but he’s here to fight. Tonight, he is teaming with the Rock, who gave him a Rock Bottom on Smackdown. If Rock wants to double cross him tonight, Austin will be dishing out knuckle sandwiches.

Other than that, Austin has been thinking about Rikishi being the driver of the car that tried to take Austin out, but Rikishi isn’t that smart. There has to be a mastermind who is trying to make people do what they want. Lawler: “Linda McMahon?” As Vince panics, Austin says he knows it wasn’t him…and here are Kurt Angle and Stephanie McMahon to interrupt. Angle: “Hold it right there bucko!” He doesn’t like Austin talking to Vince like that and thinks Austin should question George W. Bush!

Maybe Bush got drunk and tried to run Austin over. As an American hero, Angle is officially renouncing Texas because of all these drunk people. Stephanie gets in the ring to yell at Austin, saying he will NOT touch Vince or Angle. Austin respects Stephanie being a woman, but she might want to step back. Angle tries a cheap shot and gets Stunnered for his efforts. Long segment here, but Austin and Vince are always worth a look.

Post break Vince tells Angle and Stephanie that he has a special feeling about tonight. Vince has Stephanie get in the limo and they leave, with Angle promising something for HHH.

Undertaker vs. Val Venis

This is Right To Censor Venis but the rest of the team is barred from ringside. Undertaker slugs him into the corner to start and hits the one armed side slam. Venis is back with some kicks to the ribs and a neckbreaker but Undertaker easily wins a slugout. Back up and Venis manages a knockdown and hammers away but takes too long going up. That means a toss off of said top, followed by the big right hand. The chokeslam is escaped so Undertaker boots him in the face for two and they head outside. Venis is sent face first into the steps, followed by the Last Ride for the pin back inside.

Rating: C. It’s strange to see Undertaker in what is basically a glorified squash, as there was no reason to believe Venis had a chance here. This was a weird time for Undertaker though, as he was back as the biker, which opened up a bunch of doors for him. It humanized him a bit, and that was not something we had ever seen before.

HHH comes up to see Commissioner Mick Foley. He wants the Radicalz tonight but Foley says find some partners. Steve Austin comes in and wants Kurt Angle, with HHH telling Austin to not trust anyone.

We look at Kane attacking Chris Jericho, who spilled coffee on him.

Kane talks about how people don’t want to see a freak like him because they want someone like Chris Jericho. The more they cheer for Jericho, the more Kane wants to hurt him. Kane is going to win the Hardcore Title tonight and then challenge Jericho to a title match. That way he can do horrible things to Jericho and it’s all legal.

Road Dogg is on HHH’s team tonight but isn’t sure about….him.

Post break HHH and Dogg come in to see Billy Gunn and Chyna, the former of which is not happy to see them. HHH says he might have made a mistake, but for one night only, they can get together and take out the Radicalz. Works for everyone.

T&A vs. Too Cool

Trish Stratus is here with T&A, who jump them to start fast. Albert misses a charge at Grandmaster in the corner, meaning it’s a tornado DDT to slow Albert down. Back up and Albert hits a hard spinning powerslam to plant Scotty and there’s a catapult to send Scotty throat first into the middle rope. Test comes in for a nasty big boot but goes up for the dive that is only designed to land on a raised boot.

After one heck of a bump off such a simple crash from Test, Scotty gets over to Grandmaster to pick up the pace. A middle rope dropkick (with dancing) hits Test but Trish gets on the apron for a distraction. That’s enough for Test to hit Grandmaster in the back with a boot…for two. Scotty hits the Worm (still crazy over) and Grandmaster adds the Hip Hop Drop, only for Albert to come in with his namesake bomb to give Test the pin.

Rating: B-. Who in the world would have thought THIS would have been a pretty good match? That’s one of the things I love about watching these old shows, as you will see a match that seems to be nothing and it winds up being a fun surprise. At the same time, it’s kind of hilarious to look back and see T&A as anything but a vehicle for Trish, who has a star power to her that you just can’t fake. Yes a lot of the attention was because of her looks, but she had a presence to her and it took her the extra way.

Post match the beatdown is on but the Hollys, including the unnamed woman, make the save. A not exactly smooth springboard crossbody drops Trish and the heroes stand…well not very tall but close enough.

Triple H/Chyna/New Age Outlaws vs. Radicalz

Billy and Eddie start things off with the former hitting his always awesome tilt-a-whirl slam. It’s off to Chyna, who is happy to hit a swinging neckbreaker, sending Eddie straight over to Malenko. Dogg comes in for the dancing punches but Malenko knocks him into the ropes. That’s enough for Benoit to come in for some stomps, both before and after Dogg hits a crossbody.

A front facelock is escaped but the referee doesn’t see the tag, further proving how horrible they are at their jobs. Dogg and Saturn crossbody each other and it’s off to Gunn vs. Malenko, which is quite the remarkable size differential. A Jackhammer plants Malenko and the Fameasser gets two with Benoit making the save. Everything breaks down and HHH Pedigrees Malenko for the win.

Rating: C+. What we got went well enough but you would kind of expect DX vs. the Radicalz to feel a bit bigger. That’s a match that could have been a big deal on a pay per view but here it is as little more than a middle of the show match on Raw. DX had long since moved on, though it still feels like a case of what could have been under much better circumstances.

Post match Kurt Angle runs in to jump HHH as the Radicalz cut everyone else off.

The Rock arrives, as usual over halfway through the show.

Tag Team Titles: Right To Censor vs. Hardy Boyz

The Hardys are defending while Ivory and Lita are here too. It’s a fast start with the women getting in a fight of their own on the floor. They go off to the back, leaving Steven Richards with the villains as the Hardys suplex Buchanan down. Back up and Matt gets slammed down hard onto the mat as commentary talks about the election, with Lawler flat out saying he is voting for George W. Bush.

Goodfather boots Matt down but he knocks Goodfather off the top, setting up the big legdrop. Jeff comes in to clean house as everything breaks down and the referee gets sent outside. Goodfather is sent outside in a nasty landing and Matt dives onto him, leaving Jeff to hit the Swanton on Buchanan. There’s no referee though so cue Edge and Christian to go after the Hardys, allowing Richards to get in a belt shot to Jeff. Naturally the referee comes back in to give the Goodfather the pin and the titles.

Rating: C+. This is a rare instance of someone other than the Hardys, the Dudleyz or Edge and Christian getting the titles, which needs to happen every so often. There is only so much you can get out of having the same three teams trading the titles for months on end so switch it up every so often. Good enough match too, even with the screwy finish.

Kurt Angle jumps the Rock in his locker room and gets pulled out.

Edge and Christian celebrate screwing over the Hardys with a kazoo version of Chris Benoit’s theme. Commissioner Mick Foley comes in to say he senses something not going so well, so Edge and Christian can have a tables match with the Dudley Boyz!

Hardcore Title: Kane vs. Steve Blackman

Kane is challenging and they start brawling on the ramp. Blackman knocks him back and hits a diving kick off the barricade (that looked cool) before going for the weapons. Some trashcan lid shots have Kane in trouble but he suplexes Blackman down in a crash. One heck of a trashcan lid shot rocks Blackman and the side slam puts him down again.

Kane goes up but gets crotched on top, allowing Blackman to grab his wooden sticks. The rapid fire shots put Kane down and a low blow makes it worse. The trashcan shot takes too long as Kane catches him with a running powerslam and it’s time to bring in the steps. Cue Chris Jericho with a chair though, knocking the steps onto Kane so Blackman can steal the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. This is the kind of thing I can go with, as there was a unique story to it but it also wasn’t a squash. Kane is a monster and had Blackman in trouble but Blackman is enough of a hardcore master to hold his own for a good while. Good little surprise here, with Kane’s motivation being a smart way to go.

The Rock is hunting for Kurt Angle but goes to see Steve Austin instead. Rock says he doesn’t have to hide in the shadows as Rikishi’s boss because he would come after Austin face to face. Austin gave Rock the Stunner because he doesn’t trust anyone and he is looking for Rikishi’s accomplice. Rock says Austin can whip anyone he wants, but it won’t happen to him because Rock had nothing to do with it. Austin doesn’t seem entirely convinced. Sweet goodness the chemistry with these two jumps off the screen like almost no one else ever.

Jerry Lawler vs. Raven

Tazz joins commentary, much to Ross’ annoyance. Lawler slugs away to start (shocking I know) and the middle rope fist drop gets two. Raven is back up with his corner clothesline and bulldog for two but Lawler fights back. A dropkick hits Raven…and Tazz runs in for the fast DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on until Al Snow (including a bonus head with a crown) makes the save.

The Right To Censor is in a huddle (with the camera looking up from the floor) and talks about being this much closer to their ultimate goal.

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz

Tables match. Bubba and Edge fight on the floor to start and Christian sends D-Von outside to join them. Edge gets inside and avoids Bubba’s splash in the corner, setting up some Poetry In Motion. The posing table request takes too long and Bubba breaks it up, meaning Edge can get caught with What’s Up.

The Dudleys take too long to get a table as well, allowing the villains to dropkick it into their heads. Back in and a superplex is loaded up but cue the Hardy Boyz to break it up, allowing Lita to snap off a super hurricanrana. The 3D puts Christian through the table for the win. Lawler: “Can’t anyone have a match without someone else interfering?” Geez you would think he would get the idea by now.

Rating: C+. What you have here is a match that didn’t waste time and did exactly what it needed to. Edge and Christian were in trouble after interfering earlier and the Hardys came out to get their revenge. That’s all this needed to be and the match wasn’t even four minutes. Sometimes you do not need much time to make a story work and that is what this era of Raw understood.

Rikishi, with a nose shield, says tonight is going to be a handicap match because the Rock was the one behind everything. Tonight, the truth comes out.

Debra is at WWF New York and criticizes the food.

Kurt Angle brags about his successful rookie season and HHH us saw it. Soon, Steve Austin will get his. Angle: “Children love me d*** it.”

Someone attacks the Rock with an anvil case but since the camera operators are terrible, we don’t see who did it.

Post break Mick Foley says Rock can’t wrestle. The fact that he can barely stand would suggest this is a good idea.

Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle/Rikishi

Austin jumps Angle on the floor to start but has to stop to slug away on Rikishi. They all get in and Austin keeps bouncing between them, including the Thesz press to Angle. Some low blows have the villains down but Angle shoves off a Stunner attempt into a superkick from Rikishi. The double teaming is on but Rikishi misses a charge in the corner. Angle is back up with a sledgehammer though, meaning cue HHH to pound him down. Austin is up again to stomp on Rikishi….and HHH hits Austin with the sledgehammer for the not so shocking reveal. We’ll say the match is thrown out around here.

Rating: C. As you can guess, this was an angle disguised as a match and, again, they didn’t waste a bunch of time on it. This didn’t need to go on for a long time and it’s such a relief that it didn’t. Austin got in, looked like himself, and then got beaten down to do the big angle. What else did you need?

Post match HHH unloads on Austin to bust him open. Rikishi adds the Banzai Drop and HHH reveals that he is Rikishi’s accomplice to end the show. This is treated as a big shock and I was surprised when it happened live, but looking back, it’s just not that much of an impact. At the end of the day, Rikishi was not fitting as the new big bad, if nothing else because Austin couldn’t do much with him in the ring. That meant that a big villain was needed and, well, who better than the guy who had been the top heel for the better part of a year? It was absolutely the right move, but it might not have been that shocking.

Overall Rating: B-. I had a good time with this show and a lot of that is due to the act that they didn’t waste time. Everything on here was moving and there was nothing where I was wondering how much more time they were going to spend on it. The matches were mostly short, but they did what they needed to do. It made for a very fun two hours and I could go for a lot more of this. Good show here, with a bunch of logical stuff happening in a creative way.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Summerslam 2016
Date: August 21, 2016
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,974
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield

A year has passed since I saw this show and I can barely remember much about it. That’s very telling when you look at how stacked this show really is. There are multiple top level matches here and it really wasn’t clear what was going to close the show until the night of the event. Hopefully that means that this SIX HOUR show holds up. Let’s get to it.

So here’s a quick plug. I’m going through the pre-show and there’s a three expert panel of Booker T., Jerry Lawler and Lita. Earlier this year, I met all three of them at WrestleCon. If you’re ever at a Wrestlemania weekend, treat yourself to an amazing time and GO TO WRESTLECON. I met over 120 wrestlers in about four hours. Where else are you going to get to do something like that? Anyway, on with the show.

Pre-Show: American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos vs. Breezango/Ascension/Vaudevillains

Who would have thought that Breezango would be the most entertaining out of all these teams? This is pretty much the still titleless Smackdown tag division at this point as they had to bring in the Headbangers and throw together Heath Slater and Rhyno to be able to have a tournament. This is also a rematch from Smackdown, which shows how little effort they were putting into the tag division at this point.

Gable and Breeze start things and the fans are WAY into Gable. Chad twists around as only he can to escape a wristlock and it’s off to Jey, who is quickly driven into the corner. English comes in and says that he’s what a man is. That earns him a right hand to the jaw and it’s off to Mojo to work on a wristlock. Ryder comes in to quite the reaction as Mauro says the Hype Bros have more chemistry than the Periodic Table.

Everything breaks down (What took them so long?) and Ascension clears the ring, only to have American Alpha come off the top (the same corner) with double clotheslines (that’s pure Steiner Brothers). English posts Ryder though and we take a break. Back with Gotch putting Ryder in a chinlock, followed by Viktor doing the same. The other heels take turns stomping on Ryder until Breeze grabs his own chinlock. Fandango adds a slingshot legdrop as this is going WAY longer than it needs to.

JBL thinks cold beer uniting the APA is more effective than furry selfie sticks uniting Breezango but maybe he’s wrong. Ascension knocks the good guys off the apron but Viktor misses a charge in the corner, allowing Ryder to get in a neckbreaker on Konnor. The hot tag (with a limited reaction) brings in Jimmy to clean house.

Jordan gets the real hot tag and does his fired up sequence (which he really is awesome at) with a belly to belly getting two on Breeze. We hit the parade of secondary finishers as the referee is imploring them to tag. Mojo powerbombs Breeze and Viktor out of the corner and the Usos add stereo superkicks to set up stereo dives. Back in and Grand Amplitude plants Gotch, only to have Jey tag himself in for a Superfly Splash and the pin at 14:31. Gable is really not cool with that. Eh just wait until your team is split up for a pretty lame story where Jordan is Kurt Angle’s son.

Rating: B-. If you cut out a few minutes from this, it’s a heck of an opener. There are too many people in the match of course but they kept it moving fast enough (for the most part) to really get something fun out of it. Jordan’s house cleaning spot is a heck of a way to fire the crowd up and it made the match more fun than it should have been. Tweak this a bit (eight/ten man tag or shorten the match a bit) and it’s even better.

Pre-Show: Dudley Boyz vs. Sami Zayn/Neville

Sami works on D-Von’s arm to start and it’s off to Neville for more of the same. Both of them get in more shots as we hear about the rivalry over the NXT Title. I do appreciate the history, especially when Graves should know about that match very well. Bubba is sent outside but D-Von breaks up a springboard dive, allowing Bubba to nail Neville from behind to take over. The fans want tables but a back elbow to Neville’s jaw cuts them off in a hurry.

Back from a break with Bubba hitting his neckbreaker out of the corner. Things slow down even more as Bubba is talking even more than he usually does in a match. Bubba: “COME ON ENGLISH BOY! O-LAY! O-LAY!” The middle rope backsplash misses though and the hot tag brings in Sami. D-Von takes the Blue Thunder Bomb for two but the reverse 3D gets the same. Neville escapes the regular version though and we get some heel miscommunication. The Helluva Kick sets up the Red Arrow to put Bubba away at 7:55.

Rating: C-. That would be it for the Dudleys in WWE as they would have one more segment tomorrow night where Anderson and Gallows sent them packing. It’s also pretty much it for Sami and Neville as a team, which is quite odd as you would think they would be a fine choice for a team. The match was nothing you wouldn’t expect on Raw.

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Sheamus

You know, because two matches just weren’t enough for the pre-show. This is the first match of the Best of Seven Series, which really wasn’t too well received. After Cole says Cesaro is facing Cesaro and both Cole and Saxton say this is about establishing physical dominance, we’re ready to go. Sheamus misses a very early Brogue Kick but the spinning springboard uppercut is blocked as well.

Cesaro charges into an uppercut but comes back with a dropkick for one. The ten forearms to the chest are broken up so Sheamus clotheslines him onto the apron instead. It’s off to an armbar on Cesaro’s chronically taped up shoulder but Cesaro lifts him up into that kind of reverse Angle Slam of his. They’re certainly hitting each other hard here, which is pretty much the draw of the whole feud.

Sheamus hits a tilt-a-whirl slam and it’s off to a break. Back with Cesaro fighting out of a chinlock because that rule even applies on pre-shows that will never end. The Irish Curse gives Sheamus two as Cole runs down the pay per view card, which only makes me think that there are FAR too many titles in WWE. They fight over a suplex and fall out to the floor in a heap. Back in and Cesaro starts firing off the running uppercuts in the corner, capped off by a dropkick to knock him off the ropes.

The apron superplex (which wasn’t from the apron) gets two but Sheamus counters the Neutralizer into White Noise for two. There’s the super Regal Roll for two more and frustration is really setting in. Another Brogue Kick attempt is countered by one heck of a clothesline though and Cesaro adds a high crossbody for two of his own. Cesaro tries the Sharpshooter but Sheamus gets to the ropes. Back up and a poke to the eye sets up the Brogue Kick to give Sheamus the pin at 14:11.

Rating: B. They beat the heck out of each other and it was a fun match but it also brings up the problem: I’m not going to want to watch them fight six more times. No matter how good things are, having them happen so many times in a row over several weeks is going to get tiresome. It happens in all these series and it’s happening here too.

And now, after more wrestling than you get on an average Smackdown, here’s the actual pay per view.

The opening video looks at New York City, with the narrator telling you how AMAZING the city is. I’m not sure if New York City or Texas is worse about bragging about their home’s greatness. As usual, this switches over to a series of quick looks at the biggest matches on the card.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens

Well duh. That’s about as easy of a choice for an opener as you could ever find for this show. As you might expect, the crowd eats up the opening promo with a spoon and of course we hear a ton of New York City music references. Included are Frank Sinatra, Biggie Smalls and Jay-Z, plus more that probably go over my head. Cass adds in a few songs of his own as this is the only way this show could have opened. Since Graves is the best heel commentator in wrestling today though, he points out that Enzo is from New Jersey.

Jericho and Owens jump Enzo at the bell and the STUPID IDIOT chants start rolling. Enzo comes back with a crossbody and a running right hand to the jaw for two. It’s off to Cass, who drags Owens inside for a beal. That’s some scary power. Enzo gets launched into the corner to crush Jericho but the Canadians bail to the floor. That’s fine with Cass who tosses Enzo over the top onto them in a huge crash. I’ve always loved that spot as it just looks cool.

Back in and Enzo ax handles Owens but turns into a middle rope dropkick from Jericho. The Canadian violence begins with Owens kneeing Enzo from the apron and doing his dance on the apron in a rather funny visual. Owens’ comedic skills aren’t given enough credit more often than not. It’s back to Jericho for the Arrogant Cover and a chinlock with Owens telling Jericho to do it like he taught him.

Owens comes in and adds a gutbuster for two, followed by the running start for a chinlock. It takes real talent to turn a chinlock into an art form but Owens has somehow pulled it off. Enzo finally rolls away but Jericho is there to break up the diving tag attempt. Owens drops the frog splash for two and his stunned looked on the kickout is the usual awesome visual. Enzo gets pulled off the corner to make things even worse but, after blowing a kiss to Jericho, misses the Cannonball.

That means the hot tag to Cass and everything breaks down. Jericho dives into a big boot but Owens breaks up the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka. Cass gets posted on the floor and now the Cannonball against the barricade connects. Back in and Enzo scores with his top rope DDT on Jericho with Owens making the save. A pop up Codebreaker (didn’t look great as Jericho was too far away) ends Enzo at 12:09.

Rating: C+. Odd choice for an ending aside (not surprising of course but odd), this was a good way to get the crowd going. I could have gone for another hope spot from Enzo and more of Cass cleaning house but that pop up Codebreaker could have been a heck of a finisher if done right. Nice opener, though would it have killed them to put Enzo and Cass over in Brooklyn?

Smackdown bosses Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon run into Raw General Manager Mick Foley to brag about how awesome their shows are. Former Daily Show host Jon Stewart and his son come in to ask what Foley is thinking to work with Stephanie. He rants about abuse of power but realizes she’s right behind him. Stephanie yells at him about how great it is to abuse power but thankfully New Day comes up. As the Smackdown bosses and Foley much on cereal, New Day asks Jon if he’d like to do something. He gets out as fast as he can and Stephanie isn’t amused.

We recap Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks. Sasha won the Women’s Title on the first exclusive show after the Brand Split and tonight is the rematch. The other big idea here is Charlotte never loses singles matches on pay per view and Banks has to recreate the magic one more time.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Banks is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Some early WOOing sets up a slightly less early Bank Statement but Charlotte bails to the floor. Back in and Banks climbs the corner for a wristdrag before sending Charlotte face first into the middle buckle. Banks gets caught on top though and Charlotte basically drops her onto the ropes for a backbreaker which almost had to hurt horribly. The fact that Banks had a bad back coming in and Charlotte still did some rather sloppy moves like that got her in some hot water.

We hit a Gory Stretch on the champ for a bit but she comes back with a pair of running clotheslines. That just earns her another backbreaker and Charlotte stomps away at the back. The Figure Eight is broken up but Sasha misses a charge into the corner and gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Charlotte picks her up for a super Razor’s Edge but since that would, you know, kill Sasha, she reverses into a hurricanrana to put them both down.

Back up and a WOO earns Charlotte a string of slaps before Sasha avoids a charge in the corner and hits the double knees to the back for two. Charlotte kicks her in the leg to break up a charge but gets knocked outside again, setting up the double knees from the apron. Back in and the Backstabber doesn’t work but Natural Selection is countered into the Bank Statement (thankfully too as the Natural Selection clearly didn’t send Sasha’s head anywhere near the mat).

Charlotte makes the rope for the break and takes out the knee again. Natural Selection gives Charlotte two so she yells about being better than Sasha. Another Bank Statement goes on but Charlotte reverses into a rollup for the pin and the title at 13:52. Saxton: “Just like that?”

Rating: B. This was just a straight match and that’s the key to the whole thing. The women are getting to show that they can have a good match without the smoke and mirrors, which never would have been the case otherwise. If nothing else it got the kind of time that a title match deserves to develop the story of Banks having a bad back (which would keep her on the shelf for about a month). Strong match here and another of many to come for these two.

Doctors Anderson and Gallows (oh man I had forgotten how stupid this was) run into AJ Styles for a Club reunion. Finn Balor comes up and doesn’t think much of it. Somehow, this has still never gone anywhere.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is defending after winning a triple threat match. Miz comes out wearing a glittery Phantom of the Opera mask while Maryse is basically in a one piece swimsuit. In a sign of the changing times, Mauro talks about Miz’s look instead of Maryse. Miz stomps away in the corner and gets two off a running kick to the chest. Crews gets the same off a rollup, only to walk into the short DDT as it’s almost all Miz to start. We’re already in the reverse chinlock before Miz sends him into the apron to cut off a comeback. Miz takes too long coming off the top though and dives into a dropkick to put both guys down.

A crossbody into a nipup has Miz in trouble as JBL rants about Otunga calling Crews a Jackrobat (jacked acrobat). The Toss Powerbomb is countered so Crews gets two off a tilt-a-whirl powerslam. An overhead belly to belly sets up a standing moonsault, which Otunga sums up perfectly: “A man with that kind of size and that kind of muscle should not be able to do that.” Miz teases taking a walk but Maryse cuts him off, allowing Miz to post Crews. The Skull Crushing Finale retains the title at 5:36.

Rating: D+. Standard Smackdown match and something that could have been cut, or at least put in the Kickoff Show in the place of the Dudleys match. Crews felt like an easy obstacle to overcome because there was nowhere near enough build to set the match up. Put some more effort into the title already people, as it’s just not working.

We recap John Cena vs. AJ Styles. They set up the first match when Styles and Cena were in the ring together, only to have Anderson and Gallows interfere to turn Styles heel. Styles went on a great rant about how Cena was a fraud who couldn’t hang in the ring with someone like him. Cena went into a great speech about how he’s here out of love because it never gets old. AJ beat him at Money in the Bank with assistance from Anderson and Gallows, setting up a rematch between the two here.

AJ Styles vs. John Cena

This just feels big. AJ grabs a waistlock to start but is easily knocked away. The announcers go out of the way to put over how AJ has been on big shows before but nothing this big. Oh I don’t know. I remember him being at that Wrestlemania thing earlier in the year. The dueling chants begin and the AJ STYLES side is pretty clearly stronger.

Cena’s headlock is countered and AJ scores with the dropkick but the bragging earns AJ a right to the jaw. A hard whip into the corner sends AJ down for a bit with Cena doing some rare trash talking. They head to the floor and the fans start belting out JOHN CENA SUCKS, only to have AJ turn it into some gasping with a suplex onto the apron. Cena is right back with a dropkick for two and it’s time for some more right hands to the head.

AJ comes back with a forearm to the face, earning himself Cena’s finishing sequence. It’s way too early for the AA though as AJ hits a Pele, followed by the Styles Clash for a close two. The fans were actually more into the near fall than I was expecting as you would think they’d know better this early. The AA gives Cena two of his own and both guys are down again.

Styles slips out of the super AA and grabs the torture rack for the spinout powerbomb. They’re trading bombs at this point and it’s the only way they should be going here. Something like a Big Ending gives Cena two but he can’t get the STF. Instead it’s the AA neckbreaker for two on Cena (not the same as the AA JBL) but the springboard 450 only hits mat.

A faceplant puts Cena down again though and AJ can’t follow up. He manages the springboard forearm but Cena reverses into the worst STF I’ve ever seen. Thankfully AJ slips out and grabs a Crossface, which Cena powers out of as well. That’s reversed into the Calf Crusher which AJ is smart enough to twist away from the ropes. Cena reverses that into another horrible STF (AJ’s face is on the mat) so AJ is quickly up with the enziguri. A tornado DDT plants AJ and there’s the top rope Fameasser for two.

Cena heads up again and gets taken down with a super hurricanrana (Mauro: “MAMA MIA!”), followed by the Phenomenal Forearm for a VERY near fall (drawing Mauro to his feet). It’s Cena’s turn now as he takes AJ up for the super AA and….it’s two. NOW the fans know it’s on as I don’t think anyone has ever kicked out of that before. Cena is stunned and the AA is countered into another Clash. The Phenomenal Forearm puts Cena away clean at 23:10.

Rating: A. I know it’s not going to sound good but a lot of this goes to Cena. At the end of the day, the crowd completely lost it when AJ kicked out of that super AA. AJ wins here not because he got a pin but because he beat Cena clean. That’s a very, VERY short list and that’s what makes it feel so important. Think back to how big of a deal it was when Warrior pinned Hogan clean. That felt like an era changing win, and while this isn’t quite that big, it’s the same idea.

Oh yeah and it’s an outstanding match and possibly the Match of the Year. This was the heavyweight slugfest formula as they beat the heck out of each other with both guys hitting everything they could until one of them couldn’t get up. That’s a really hard match to pull off and these two did it in an incredible match. It belonged on the grand stage and gives Cena one heck of a mountain to overcome, which he somehow did in a better match at the Royal Rumble.

Post match Cena takes off his wristband and leaves it in the ring. He would do dark matches for a few weeks and then be back wrestling on TV in less than a month so this didn’t mean anything.

Some fans won a contest and got some stuff. In other words, let the fans have a breather.

Here’s Jon Stewart for your celebrity appearance. He makes fun of himself for interfering in Cena’s match last year and says the big lesson he learned was to tuck your shirt in when you’re taking an AA. As for tonight though, he’s here to be in New Day’s corner to help deal with Anderson and Gallows. In honor of the moment, he throws on a unicorn horn and does Big E.’s (out injured due to getting crotched against the post) entrance.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

New Day is defending of course and unfortunately Anderson and Gallows are still doing their stupid doctor nonsense, complete with jars for Kofi, Xavier and Jon’s testicles. I hear Paige can help you with one of those. Anderson headlocks Kofi down to start but he’s right back up with the jumping back elbow to the jaw. Kofi flips onto his feet and gets two off the standing double stomp. You can tell the fans are still recovering from the previous match and it’s off to Woods.

That goes badly as the he gets taken into the corner for a beating from Gallows. At least it does bring the fans back a bit with the rhythmic clapping. Gallows gets taken into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede (which they’ve kind of stopped doing in recent months) and the fans are really not responding. Woods sends him outside so Kofi can hit a running dive (while posing in the air) to take him down again. Back in and Gallows kicks Kofi in the head to take over for real this time with Anderson working on the arm.

That goes nowhere as the hot tag brings in Woods to clean house. Anderson sends him to the apron for an enziguri, setting up the rope walk elbow drop. Everything breaks down and Anderson kicks Kofi in the chest, setting up the Magic Killer. Stewart gets in though and it’s time to crotch him as well. Hang on though as he has to tuck in his shirt first. Cue the returning Big E. for the save though and that’s a DQ at 9:09.

Rating: D. I don’t know if it was the previous match or what but sweet goodness the fans did NOT care for this one. It’s not a good match in the first place as Anderson and Gallows aren’t funny in the doctor roles, but the bigger problem here was the focus being on Stewart at the end. Oh and the ending sets up a rematch, which really isn’t what they need to be going with here. Bad match but Big E.’s return did wake up the crowd.

Big E. drinks the fluid in the jar holding his “testicles”. Stewart dances with New Day and the fans…well they care when Big E. dances at least.

We recap Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler. Dolph won a six way match to earn the shot and then it all went nuts. Ziggler started talking about how he was tired of being told that he always either too good or not good enough. It was time to turn up the jets and become champion for the third time. Serious Ziggler was nice but I don’t think anyone was buying him as having a real chance here. You know, because he’s Dolph Ziggler.

Smackdown World Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean is defending and Shane and Daniel are here for no apparent reason. The fans are behind Ziggler and they trade some grappling on the mat with Ziggler getting the better of it (not exactly a surprise). The threat of a neckbreaker sends Ambrose bailing to the floor so Dolph splashes him against the barricade.

Back in and Ziggler’s jumping DDT is countered with Dean throwing him outside again. Ziggler escapes a super Dirty Deeds so Dean slaps on a half crab of all things. You can tell Dean is playing the subtle heel here as the smark crowd is always going to cheer for Ziggler. Dean heads up top and gets dropkicked out of the air but he’s right back with a double chickenwing facebuster.

Ambrose tunes up the band (which is now mocking Ziggler instead of anything involving Shawn Michaels) but shakes his head and tries Dirty Deeds instead. That’s reversed into the jumping DDT and both guys are down again. A double collision gives us another lay down period until Dean is up first and hammering away.

The top rope elbow gets two so Ziggler grabs the sleeper, earning them both a tumble out to the floor. Ziggler gets in the superkick on the floor but it’s barely two back inside. The Zig Zag gets the same but Dean pops back up with the rebound lariat. Ziggler catches Dean on top and pulls him back down, right into Dirty Deeds to retain the title at 15:22.

Rating: D+. And that people, is Ziggler choking again. This would lead to him saying he’s never won the big one, which would turn into him never holding the World Title that long because holding the title is more important than winning it. The match was nothing all that good as we were just waiting on Dirty Deeds, which only happened so Dean could keep it warm for AJ next month. That was completely obvious the second AJ pinned Cena again and that’s all this title needed to do.

Package on Summerslam weekend.

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Eva Marie vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

Dang I didn’t know the Glow was a year old. Actually hang on a minute as Eva Marie is suffering from exhaustion, anxiety and stress (likely brought on by reading too many Wellness Violation messages, which meant she would never wrestle again) so we have a replacement. At least we got that amazing entrance one more time.

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

So yeah, you know full well that Nikki is going to be all that matters in this match because IT’S HER BIG COMEBACK THAT EVERYONE TOTALLY CARES ABOUT BECAUSE WE LOVE HER SO MUCH! She does get one heck of a pop though, which is rather scary. During her entrance, Mauro declares her return “miraculous”. Oh man this is going to be a long one.

Bliss rolls Becky up to start and gets in a hard slap for good measure. Naomi comes in to scare Alexa off so it’s Natalya instead. A forearm puts Natalya down and the splits legdrop gets two. Carmella comes in for the Staten Island Shuffle before a missed charge sends Natalya outside. Back in and a powerslam out of the corner plants Carmella before it’s off to Nikki, the heel, for a strong face pop.

We hit the chinlock but hang on as we need some Nikki pushups. Alexa chokeshoves Carmella down for the moonsault knees to the ribs as the crowd is dead all over again. The abdominal stretch keeps things slow until Carmella finally rolls over and makes the hot tag to Becky. All three heels are send into the corner for the springboard kicks from Lynch, followed by a Bexploder on Natalya.

Becky’s top rope legdrop gets two with Nikki making the save. A blind tag brings in Naomi for the dancing kicks with the fans just not reacting at all. Bliss’ springboard splash hits knees so it’s off to Nikki vs. Carmella. A bad looking Bronco Buster gets two on Nikki and everything breaks down. Nikki’s big forearm sets up the Rack Attack 2.0 (Nikki: “I’m back.”) for the pin at 11:16.

Rating: D. This was all about Nikki’s return and that’s not enough to carry a dull match. Naomi’s Glow stuff wasn’t over yet, Becky was stuck around people who weren’t up to her level and Carmella was showing that she didn’t need to be on the main roster yet. The same was true for Alexa and Natalya was her usual self. Just not a good match and it showed the lack of depth to the division.

We recap Rusev vs. Roman Reigns. Rusev and Lana were married and so Reigns interrupted for no apparent reason to insult them and shove them into a cake.

Maria Menunos interviews Rusev and Lana, who don’t like her questions about Reigns. They won’t stand for this and Lana is sure that her husband will destroy Reigns.

We recap the Universal Title match. Basically we need a new title due to the Brand Split and Universal Title was the best they could come up with. Seth Rollins was put into the match as Raw’s #1 draft pick and Finn Balor earned his way in by winning a series of matches. Not much else to it as there’s no major animosity between them but it’s better than pulling the title out of a suitcase.

Seth did get in a great promo talking about how he’s done everything Balor has done but he’s done it a little bit better. He’s not wrong, though that’s not the best thing to do when you have someone so new to the main roster. Then Balor showed up as the Demon and scared Rollins to death.

Universal Title: Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Anything goes and the title (which isn’t that well received due to a bad case of being hideous) is vacant coming in. Unless I’m forgetting something, to date this is the only time Balor has wrestled as the Demon on the main roster. We get the Big Match Intros and the title itself receives some hearty boos. Balor dropkicks him into the corner at the bell but it’s too early for the Coup de Grace.

Instead Balor hits a suicide dive to the floor, followed by some kicks to the knee back inside. They head outside again with Seth getting in his first offense via a suplex on the floor. Balor is right back with something like a Phenomenal Forearm off the barricade. Back in again and Balor hits a basement dropkick for two as this is almost one sided so far. Finn stays on the leg as the fans are singing something.

Balor jumps over the ropes but Rollins slides between his legs and powerbombs him into the barricade, completely destroying Balor’s shoulder and putting him on the shelf for the better part of eight months. We’re less than four minutes in though and you can see the shoulder looking all messed up. Back in and Seth gets two off a backbreaker, setting up a chinlock. The chants are still going and it sounds like THAT TITLE SUCKS to the tune of John Cena Sucks.

Seth starts the trash talk and cuts off a comeback attempt. A snapmare into a kick to the back has Finn in even more trouble but Seth would rather walk around than follow up. It’s back to the chinlock for a good while until the springboard knee to the head sets up Seth’s frog splash for two. What looks like a Rainmaker is countered into a DDT to give Balor his first major offense in a long time and he follows up with some forearms.

A basement dropkick sets up the Sling Blade but Seth kicks him down without much effort. An enziguri stuns Balor but he’s right back with the Pele, earning a very nice round of applause. If nothing else the chants about the title have stopped. 1916 (reverse implant DDT) gives Finn two but the Coup de Grace is countered into a triangle choke of all things. Finn falls outside because rope breaks don’t count (anything goes remember) and things slow down a bit.

Back in and the buckle bomb sets up the low superkick for two on Balor with Seth looking stunned on the kickout. A small package driver gets the same count and reaction so Seth goes up, allowing Balor to hit a very loud enziguri to put him on the floor. Balor adds a shotgun dropkick to send him into the barricade, followed by a top rope double stomp to the back of the head for two. The Coup de Grace misses and it’s a Pedigree for two. Finn counters a second Pedigree into a double stomp, followed by the Coup de Grace for the pin and the title at 19:23.

Rating: B+. When you factor in that shoulder injury, this is quite the impressive performance. Above all else though, how good is it that Balor won the title here? If he loses his first major pay per view match and then goes away until April, he’s lucky to come back to the cruiserweight division.

This was a heck of a match with both guys beating the heck out of each other. It took some time to get built up but once they finally got there, the fans really started to accept things, which is a very positive sign. Balor is someone who is going to get a very positive reaction no matter what and giving him the title here was entirely the right call.

Balor can barely move his right arm after the match but finally holds the title up. On his WWE 24 special, he said you could feel and hear the shoulder crunching and crackling as he lifted the title and it probably did more damage to the arm.

The pre-show channel chats a bit and throws us to a KFC ad with Dolph Ziggler dressing up as Colonel Sanders to beat up Miz dressed as a chicken. It’s actually dumber than you remember it being.

Here’s Lana to introduce Rusev, albeit while wearing half of a wedding dress, the bottom of which looks like a diaper. She’s one of the most beautiful women on the roster but she looks ridiculous here.

US Title: Rusev vs. Roman Reigns

Roman is challenging and the booing is strong with this one. Rusev jumps him before the bell and they fight out to the floor with Roman being sent into the steps. The fans chant RUSEV MACHKA because they’ve given up on America over their hatred for Reigns. Roman gets in a Superman Punch as the bell hasn’t rung yet. They fight over a chair with Reigns getting the better of it and destroying Rusev. Reigns finally leaves but comes back with a spear, all while the fans chant WE WANT SLATER. No match of course, likely due to time issues.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar. This match was announced as Orton’s return match from surgery and the build focused on Orton being able to hit the RKO anytime, including a sweet moment where Orton interrupted a Lesnar promo with an RKO. The hype video even includes some OVW clips as they came up through developmental together and debuted within a few months of each other. This had a heck of a build and felt like something important but the question was whether Lesnar would have an actual match or just do his usual Lesnar stuff.

Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar

Heyman handles Lesnar’s introduction, saying he’s conquering out of the University of Suplex City. Brock seems to get into his MMA stance to start before driving Orton into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. Orton escapes the first German suplex attempt but can’t hit the RKO.

Now the first suplex connects (with Mauro knowing that it’s the 33^rd Lesnar has hit at Summerslam because he’s awesome that way) and Brock follows with two more. Orton is almost out on his feet so Lesnar suplexes him again. It’s nothing but suplexes at this point and it’s already getting dull. They head outside for a much needed change of pace with Orton being thrown over the announcers’ table.

Orton gets thrown from the front row through the table as this is dominance. The other table is loaded up but whatever Lesnar is trying is countered into the RKO onto (not through) the table. The hanging DDT plants Lesnar back inside and another RKO gets two. Orton realizes he has no choice and tries the Punt, only to have it reversed into the F5 (bad one) for two more.

That’s enough for Lesnar so he takes off the gloves and pads and hammers on Orton. An elbow to the head actually busts Orton open VERY badly. Lesnar just keeps hammering on him while the fans chant GOLDBERG until the referee FINALLY stops it at 11:47. I’ve heard a bunch of answers about what happened but I believe this was the planned ending and a hard way opening.

Rating: D. Yeah this didn’t work when it happened and it didn’t work again this time around. Lesnar suplexing Orton for five minutes then selling a few big moves doesn’t make me think it’s an awesome main event. This was everything wrong with Lesnar’s current WWE run in one match and that made for a really dull match, save for the odd finish that seemed designed to protect Orton. You know, after he was basically squashed.

Lesnar keeps hammering on him until the always intimidating Shane McMahon comes out, earning himself an F5 (which thankfully didn’t lead anywhere). Heyman panics as they leave to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. If you cut an hour (or more) out of this, it’s bordering on the classic level. As it is, this is just a good show that runs WAY too long. At some point you have to cut something out and WWE just refuses to do that. Cut out the Dudleys match or the women’s tag and give us some breathing room here because sweet goodness this show could use it.

Now that being said, there’s some outstanding stuff on here with the Styles vs. Cena match as an instant classic, the Women’s Title being very good, a great Universal Title match and really only the Tag Team Title match being without much value. The show is certainly good and the positives outweigh the negatives but unless the show is a masterpiece, fans are going to start losing interest near the end. It’s a solid show but cut out a good forty minutes to really make it great.

Ratings Comparison

American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos vs. Breezango/Ascension/Vaudevillains

Original: C

2017 Redo: B-

Dudley Boyz vs. Neville/Sami Zayn

Original: C

2017 Redo: C-

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Original: B-

2017 Redo: B

Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass

Original: C+

2017 Redo: C+

Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Original: B

2017 Redo: B

Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Original: C

2017 Redo: D+

John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Original: A

2017 Redo: A

New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

Original: D+

2017 Redo: D

Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-

2017 Redo: D+

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

Original: C

2017 Redo: D

Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B+

2017 Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton

Original: C+

2017 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B

2017 Redo: B-

That’s quite the drop on Ambrose vs. Ziggler and Lesnar vs. Orton. Some of them are spot on though and that’s not the biggest surprise.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/08/21/summerslam-2016-they-didnt/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2004
Date: August 15, 2004
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,640
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second biggest show of the year and that could go multiple ways. Smackdown has been getting better as of late but it’s still not very good. Raw has had its moments, but with the second biggest match from the red show being HHH vs. Eugene, they’re working underneath a pretty low ceiling. Let’s get to it.

The theme is the Summer Games, giving us an Olympic themed opening. I’ve always liked these as they’re actually rather entertaining.

The opening video looks at the big matches, but Diva Dodgeball is in the middle, even before the Intercontinental Title and Smackdown World Title matches. I’m thinking no on that one.

Dudley Boys vs. Paul London/Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio

Spike recently joined his brothers and since there are no other teams on Smackdown, Kidman and London are still feuding with the Dudleys. Rey just walks out to his music, which takes a lot of the impact away. D-Von hammers on Kidman to start but gets armdragged down for his efforts. London comes in for an assisted moonsault and the dropkick gets two.

A rather hard clothesline takes London down and it’s off to Spike for some screaming stomps in the corner. Bubba comes in for the trash talking elbow drop and the villains start taking turns working on London. Straight right hands break up the comeback attempt but Bubba hits D-Von by mistake. Spike gets kicked away and that’s enough for the tag off to Mysterio.

The springboard legdrop gets two on Spike and a hurricanrana out of the corner makes things even worse. A reverse DDT plants D-Von and it’s back to Kidman for a top rope back elbow to Spike. Everything breaks down and a BK Bomb gets two on Spike. Bubba gets double dropkicked to the floor and Spike takes a Hart Attack of all things. The 619 sends Spike into the shooting star from Billy for two with D-Von making the save. Back in and Kidman walks into the 3D to give Spike the pin.

Rating: C. Well that was a dumb ending. You have Spike as Cruiserweight Champion and have him pin a Tag Team Champion to open one of the biggest shows of the year? You couldn’t have Rey pin D-Von here to let the fans feel good? This didn’t help anything other than building Spike up, which was done as well as it was going to be with the Cruiserweight Title win. Bad decision here, in a match that didn’t need to have this kind of a finish.

We recap Kane vs. Matt Hardy. Lita slept with Kane to get him to leave Matt alone, actually being stupid enough to believe it would work. As a result Lita is pregnant but still loves Matt. Therefore, she’s marrying the winner of this match. Somehow, not even the most bizarre stipulation in Summerslam history.

Kane vs. Matt Hardy

Matt goes straight at him to start and hits what I guess was a middle rope Side Effect for two. The middle rope legdrop to the back of the head gets the same and a weird looking tornado DDT (with Matt landing on his stomach) gets the third two. Kane finally hits a clothesline to take over but a Lita distraction lets Matt low bridge him to the floor.

The slingshot dive sets up a Twist of Fate for nine and probably the best chance Matt had. Lita throws in the bell and distracts the very stupid referee so Matt can clock Kane for two. Kane kicks him in the face and goes up but gets caught by Matt. That’s fine with Kane, who hits a super chokeslam for the pin and Lita’s hand.

Rating: D. Short and bad here, with Matt having less than no chance throughout. Matt has been destroyed and turned into an idiot this whole feud and Kane winning in the end was the only way it could go. Now just get to the wedding, which is destined to be the most entertaining part of this whole thing. The match was nothing that couldn’t have been done on Raw but with a nice looking ending. That’s also Matt’s last WWE match for about a year as he had a bad knee injury and was then released in April.

Randy Orton doesn’t want to hear about anyone being upset because tonight is a night for celebration. John Cena cuts him off and promises him some merch. He’s an Orton fan, but a quick fan poll seems to suggest that they don’t agree with him. And so it begins.

Booker T. vs. John Cena

Match #1 in a best of five series for Booker’s US Title. They slug it out to start with Cena hitting a clothesline for one. Cena gets in the Throwback for two so Booker crotches him on top to cut that off in a hurry. Booker throws in a You Can’t See Me and drops a knee for no cover. A jumping kick to the face cuts off Cena’s early comeback and it’s a camel clutch to keep things slow.

That’s broken up so Booker goes with a spinebuster and side slam to drop Cena again. The ax kick misses though and Cena hits his running clothesline out of the corner. That just earns him a flapjack into a Spinarooni but Cena hits a quick FU for the pin, ignoring Booker’s shoulder being way off the mat.

Rating: D+. That’s the third straight fast match here and that’s not a good thing on a show like this. They didn’t even have seven minutes here, which is the kind of match that could have been on Smackdown instead of wasting it on this show. Cena is likely losing the next two matches to put him in a hole which is fine, but I could have gone for a better start to this thing.

Eric Bischoff (“the head cracker in charge of Raw”) comes in to see Theodore Long and points out the revolving door to the Smackdown GM office. Bischoff advises him to enjoy it while it lasts but Teddy tells him to get to steppin.

Intercontinental Title: Batista vs. Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Hometown boy Edge is defending and Batista is on fire at the moment. Speaking of Batista, he knocks Edge off the apron during his entrance and we hit the Y2J chants early on. A hard elbow knocks Jericho down and a shoulder does it again. Edge comes back in with a chop block to break up the Batista Bomb though and it’s time for some Canadian violence on Batista. Snake Eyes gets Batista out of trouble but Jericho grabs his boot to slow him down a bit.

A clothesline puts Batista outside and leaves Edge alone in the ring….where he’s booed out of the building. Well that’s rather surprising. Batista gets sent face first into the steps and we’re down to Jericho vs. Edge in the ring. Edge gets the better of the fight but gets loudly booed when loading up the Edgecution. The Walls attempt gets a much better reaction, though Edge reversing into a small package isn’t as well received. Back up and Jericho pokes him in the eye, setting up the full Walls of Jericho.

The hold is pulled back into the middle until Batista finally makes a save with the clothesline. Edge takes Batista down with an Edgecution for two as Jericho is banged up on the floor. The spear is loaded up but for some reason Jericho cuts Edge down on the way to Batista. A spinebuster gives Batista two on Jericho but this time it’s Edge sending the big man outside. That gives us another battle of the Canadians and another loud Y2J chant. Batista gets dropkicked off the apron but the distraction lets Edge spear Jericho down to retain.

Rating: D+. The odd crowd reactions threw things off here, though they’re not quite as out there as you might think when you remember Edge teasing a heel turn as of late. Now that being said, you would think the hometown deal would be enough to overcome the recent cheating but that wasn’t the case here. On top of that, the match didn’t have a ton of heat and was a string of one on one matches instead of all three at once. Edge retaining is fine, though Batista is getting bigger and bigger every week.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle in a Wrestlemania rematch. Eddie cheated (kind of) to win at Wrestlemania in Angle’s last match for about five months. Angle is back now, though while he was on the shelf he cost Eddie the WWE Championship so Eddie is out for revenge and to prove that he can hang with Angle on an even playing field. This has been the best set up feud for the whole show and the match should be able to live up to the hype.

Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Angle has Luther Reigns with him. Feeling out process to start as the odd fans are cheering for Angle here. Shockingly enough Angle is more than fine against Eddie on the mat so Eddie tries for the ankle. He’ll settle for a headlock instead so Angle reverses into a quick keylock. Eddie armdrags him straight into an armbar but it’s time to start the rolling German suplexes. That doesn’t work either as Eddie reverses the second into the ankle lock as the wrestling lesson continues. Angle reverses into the real thing but Eddie puts his own on at the same time. It doesn’t last long, though cool idea there.

A rope finally saves Eddie so Reigns gets in a cheap shot like a good lackey should do. That means another ankle lock before Angle finally switches gears a bit for something close to an STF. With Eddie down, Angle starts untying Eddie’s boot but the delay lets Eddie get in a kick to the face. It’s right back to Eddie’s ankle until Eddie gets in an Angle Slam of his own. Eddie makes his comeback with right hands but the ankle isn’t exactly sturdy.

It’s fine enough for the Three Amigos so Eddie goes up for the frog splash, only to get caught with the running belly to belly superplex. Angle’s Angle Slam is countered into a DDT and another frog splash attempt misses. The Angle Slam gets two so Angle rips the boot off to set up the ankle lock again.

The roll through sends Angle into the referee so Eddie hits Angle and Reigns with the boot. Of course Eddie throws the boot away and falls down instead of hitting a frog splash, which would have made more sense. Eddie hits the frog splash for two a few seconds later and yells at the referee on the kickout. That’s enough for Angle to pick the ankle and put on the grapevine to make Eddie tap.

Rating: C+. What exactly are they saving all the time for on this show? That’s the first match to break thirteen minutes and nothing else has even hit nine. There are three matches left on the card and nearly an hour and a half left in the show, but nothing has even hit fifteen minutes yet. Did Diva Dodgeball need the extra time?

Anyway, this wasn’t all that great as the first few minutes were looking like the start of a thirty minute classic but then they just jumped the stolen finishers (which is becoming a rather tired trope) and had Angle break the ankle down for the win. This was dying for another eight minutes of build towards the finish but for some reason this show has to go as fast as it can because of reasons.

We recap HHH vs. Eugene. HHH found out that Eugene was his favorite wrestler and agreed to use him to help get the World Title if HHH could eventually make Eugene want to quit. In other words, it was a story that was way more complicated than it needed to be and Eugene, who started off as a very fun, unique character has turned into the clueless putz that cost HHH the title. Therefore, HHH must destroy him to prove that he’s better than a mentally disabled person who doesn’t know how to wrestle but imitates wrestling he watched on TV as a kid. In the second biggest Raw match on Summerslam. Of course.

HHH vs. Eugene

No one is at ringside for a bit of a surprise. HHH wins an early slugout but Eugene elbows him in the face so it’s time head outside. That means a chance for HHH to hide behind Lilian Garcia, allowing him to take over again. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but Eugene blocks a suplex to the floor. Some right hands in the corner set up a Flair Flop and HHH has a bad knee. Believe it or not, it’s a way for HHH to sucker Eugene in again and outsmart him for a cheap shot.

A backbreaker keeps Eugene in trouble as JR freaks out of the fake injury. He certainly must have loathed Bret Hart then. The fans think Eugene sucks so his comeback isn’t exactly well received. HHH offers a handshake but this time Eugene is ready for him and pulls it into a Rock Bottom. The People’s Elbow is countered with the spinebuster to a face pop as the trip into the bizarre continues. HHH chokes away and it’s back to the floor for a whip into the steps.

Back in and HHH slowly beats on him, setting up the sleeper because this match needed a sleeper. Eugene escapes and hits a backdrop, followed by a middle finger and the Stunner. That’s enough to send HHH outside for a breather though and here’s Ric Flair because HHH is actually in trouble. The big boot into the legdrop connects but Flair gets knocked off the apron. Eugene goes up top and dives into the Pedigree but spins out, setting up a Pedigree on HHH instead. Flair puts his foot on the rope so it’s just a two, earning an ejection. Cue William Regal to knock Flair cold with the brass knuckles as the Pedigree finishes Eugene.

Rating: D. Well thank goodness for that. After a few months of getting frustrated, the great and mighty HHH came back and beat the comedy act in a match at one of the biggest show of the year. All it cost Eugene was all of the good will he built up too, but at least HHH got the big win. This whole story was really stupid and a huge waste of time, which really doesn’t work when it boils down to HHH needing almost fifteen minutes to beat a comedy guy. It was just bad all around and didn’t help anyone other than HHH, who didn’t get that much out of it anyway.

And then, Diva Dodgeball with the Diva Search girls basically in swimsuits while the Raw women are in matching gear. Before the game starts, Coach tells us about some trash talk that happened after Raw went off the air. They proceed to play dodgeball, which is in no way shape or form an excuse to have good looking women in barely existing clothing running around. The Diva Search girls dominate and win. Trish yells about the refereeing and then blames Victoria, triggering a fight. This took up nearly six minutes, which is about seven minutes too long.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Undertaker

No recap for this one because the build hasn’t exactly been thrilling. JBL won the title earlier in the summer and needed an opponent so Undertaker showed up. For some reason JBL decided he wasn’t afraid of Undertaker and brought out a mini version, who Undertaker wound up beating up instead. Then JBL brought in Orlando Jordan as his Chief of Staff because he needed a designated lackey.

Undertaker knocks him to the floor early on and the beating begins, including JBL’s arm going into the steps. Back in and JBL hits a quick swinging neckbreaker before going up top for a good looking top rope shoulder. An armbar doesn’t get JBL anywhere so Undertaker pulls on the arm as well and hits Old School. Undertaker grabs an ugly triangle choke until Jordan pulls the foot under the rope.

With that not working, Undertaker hits a big boot to JBL but misses a running version in the corner to let JBL take out the knee. The leg is wrapped around the post and a Jordan distraction lets JBL smash the leg with a chair. Undertaker gets sent into the barricade so Jordan can get in a few shots before sending him inside. The fans start the Wave as the leg work continues.

The leglock goes on as JBL is smart enough to just throw on a hold and let the fans die down. It’s not exactly thrilling for the fans at home but it’s a smart idea here. Undertaker fights out and pulls JBL down into a quickly broken kneebar. They head outside again with Undertaker hitting the apron legdrop. The announcers start chanting for the Spanish table but JBL snaps the throat across the top for a breather. Again JBL takes too long going up though and it’s a superplex for two.

Jordan throws the belt in for a shot to the head and the very delayed near fall with Jordan grabbing the hand to slap the mat. Undertaker finally beats up Jordan but eats another Clothesline From JBL. With the referee still down, JBL rains down right hands in the corner which is only done to set up the Last Ride. Jordan is back in with the belt so Undertaker takes it away and hits JBL for the DQ.

Rating: D. The thing is, it’s not even the worst match in the world. It felt like it was straight out of the HHH/Ric Flair Greatest Hits playbook with Jordan being the worst Flair impersonator of all time. The leg work was fine and JBL still wasn’t horrible yet, but the ending was pretty lame with Jordan being pathetic and JBL’s finisher not being able to do much damage. It’s not so much horrible or even bad as much as it is uninteresting and uninspired, which made for a very long seventeen minutes.

Post match the beatdown continues with the bloody JBL being chokeslammed through the roof of the limo. JBL does a stretcher job, guaranteeing a rematch. Of note: at some point during the match, a fan tried to climb onto the limo and security kept him from not only, you know, climbing onto the limo but also breaking the roof and injuring himself/ruining the spot.

Cole shows us a replay and tells us to listen. There’s no sound.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging after winning a battle royal and pinning Benoit in a tag match. Here’s your exchange that would never happen today: Lawler: “Hey JR you got a camera on you?” JR, dripping with sarcasm: “Yeah right here in my pocket.” The fans are all over Earl Hebner with the YOU SCREWED BRET chants as they stare each other down at the bell. Benoit drives him into the corner and takes Orton down for a rather early chinlock. A test of strength goes to Orton but he misses a knee drop.

Benoit is right back with the armbar and armdrags him down into another armbar. That’s reversed as well with Orton grabbing a Sharpshooter of his own. Benoit slips out of that and tries a Crossface, sending Orton to the floor where he posts Benoit to really take over. A second posting keeps the champ down and Orton drapes him over the top rope for good measure.

Something like a DDT on the apron gets Benoit out of trouble but he misses a dive through the ropes, sending himself HARD into the barricade. Back in and Orton hits the over the shoulder neckbreaker for two, followed by the chinlock. Benoit fights up for stereo crossbodies but gets up first for a northern lights suplex. A release German suplex has Orton in more trouble and the Sharpshooter goes on.

That’s good for two arm drops until Orton makes the rope so they’re both exhausted. Some rolling German suplexes put Orton down again but he gets his feet up to block the Swan Dive (FREAKING OW MAN!). The cover is countered into a Crossface but Orton rolls out. Back up and Benoit tries it again but Orton spins him around into the RKO for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a masterpiece but it was a good, long, well put together match with a completely clean ending that made Orton look like the better man. The new heel on top is long overdue and it’s nice to see Orton, who has gotten a lot better in a hurry, win the title here. Benoit’s title reign was very respectable and he beat HHH a few times, which is about as good as you’re going to get. It’s a rather good main event, though not exactly a classic.

Post match Benoit gets back in and shakes his hand, demanding that Orton be a man. Orton shakes his hand and Benoit leaves in peace, allowing Orton to pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is two different halves and it’s as noticeable as you’re ever going to see. The first four matches are all short and need more time while the remaining four, as in the big matches, either fail to live up to the hype or just aren’t very good in the first place. This show needed to be reshuffled a bit with some extra time being given to a few other matches. Stuff like Diva Dodgeball and the opener could have been cut to give the time to other matches. It would have done the show a lot of good, but there was only so much this show could do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2003
Date: August 24, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 16,113
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s one of the biggest shows of the year and I can’t bring myself to get excited over it. This show really hasn’t been built up very well with only the Smackdown World Title match with Kurt Angle defending against Brock Lesnar offering much interest. The rest of the show feels very flat, especially the Raw World Title match which should have been Goldberg vs. HHH. Let’s get to it.

The United States Marine Corps Color Guard presents the flag and Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem. As always, it’s an outstanding performance.

The opening video shows a beach but the sun goes behind a cloud and the shot shifts to the Elimination Chamber. The narration basically makes it sounds like the Chamber is poisoning everyone’s souls and turning them all evil, including Kane, who isn’t even in the thing. I’d bet money that Jim Ross wrote that, thinking it sounded even more dramatic than when he gives the Cell human characteristics.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

La Resistance is defending and Bubba brings out the American flag. The Dudleys jump them in the aisle and the beatdown is on with D-Von choking Dupree with the robe. An armdrag into an armbar (FEEL THE HATRED!) doesn’t go very well as Dupree takes D-Von into the corner so the champs can take over. D-Von is right back with the shots to the head, allowing the tag off to the very loud Bubba. It might be annoying, but I can always go for a partner making noise and being active on the apron instead of just standing there.

Grenier gets tied in the Tree of Woe so Bubba can stand between his legs for a loud scream. It’s not quite table time, allowing Grenier to get in a cheap shot so the champs can really take over. Dupree grabs a bearhug, which is quite the odd visual on someone as big as Bubba. A Bubba Bomb gets him out of trouble though and the not very hot tag brings in D-Von for the house cleaning.

Dupree gets powerslammed for two but the champs clear the ring again. The double spinebuster gets two on D-Von (there’s the crowd reaction, and all it took was kicking out of the champs’ finisher). Bubba comes back in for the Flip, Flop and Fly, followed by What’s Up on Grenier. 3D connects but Grenier pulls the referee out, allowing a cameraman to deck D-Von with his camera, giving Dupree the pin. It’s the serviceman from Raw of course.

Rating: C-. The match was ok, but not exactly the hottest choice in the world for an opener. Having the Americans lose to the EVIL Frenchmen doesn’t quite get the show off on the right foot and now we’re likely to see another rematch between these teams as this feud to show off THE POWERS OF AMERICA continues. La Resistance is fine to hold the titles, but they need something more than “we are French and therefore evil”.

Post match Spike Dudley comes in and gets beaten down as well. So after the big American military opening and carrying the flag, the Dudleys lose to the heatless champions again. The Dudleys would get the belts back a month later, but instead we need to see them lose here. Of course we also needed this match instead of the World’s Greatest Tag Team, Rey Mysterio, John Cena or Christian.

Coach tries to talk to the Dudleys but makes the mistake of praising La Resistance’s success. Bubba declares that people who hate America suck and promises to get the belts back.

Christian asks Eric Bischoff why he’s not on the show but Eric blames Steve Austin. Since he can’t wrestle, he offers to be Bischoff’s backup tonight. Bischoff has a plan though and promises to tell the world what happened with Linda on Monday.

We recap A-Train running Stephanie McMahon over last month and costing her a match against Sable. This turned into A-Train vs. Undertaker and WWE actually expects us to believe that this isn’t going to turn into Sable vs. Stephanie again.

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Sable is with A-Train in a rather nice outfit. Undertaker has bad ribs so he dodges a bit to start instead of going in full steam ahead. Instead of staying on the ribs, A-Train tries a headlock, allowing Undertaker to knee him in the ribs and take over. The running DDT gets two on A-Train and Old School connects early on. A shot to the ribs finally cuts Undertaker off (thanks for finally getting the idea Train) and some forearms to the ribs are good for two.

A-Train stays on the ribs with a vertical suplex, followed by a headbutt. Cole: “It’s like being hit in the head with a typewriter.” Normally I would question that, but Cole is the kind of dolt who would do that for fun. Undertaker manages Snake Eyes and a double clothesline puts both guys down for a quick rest.

A slugout goes to Undertaker (well duh) and a big legdrop gets two. For some reason Undertaker tries the Last Ride but a shove gives us a ref bump. The Derailer of course gets a delayed two and the referee gets bumped again. That is way, WAY too popular of a booking trope these days. A-Train hits the bicycle kick to take Undertaker down but gets a chair kicked into his face for two. The chokeslam gives Undertaker the pin.

Rating: D. Matches against power guys like this can be Undertaker’s bread and butter but there’s only so much you can do to make A-Train interesting. The match wasn’t terrible and they kept it slow enough, but this Undertaker stands up for Stephanie thing is about as forced as you can get. There’s only so much you can do as a surrogate for Vince vs. Stephanie, especially when the best villain available for the spot is A-Train.

Post match Undertaker loads up the Last Ride but Sable comes in and rubs his chest. Undertaker grabs her by the throat and STEPHANIE IS BACK!!! WE CAN LIVE HAPPY LIVES AGAIN!!! Stephanie gets to do some catfighting until A-Train pulls Sable out. I guess this is what passes for a big moment around here.

Some fans in the front row think Goldberg is going to win the Chamber. Uh, thanks for that.

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff, which starts off looking a lot like Shane vs. Kane. Bischoff then decided that he hated Shane for stealing WCW from him back in 2001. You know, because that’s a story people were thinking about. Eric went after Shane, including having Kane attack him and cost him a match against Eric.

Then Eric went to Connecticut and may have forced himself on Linda McMahon. It came out of almost nowhere and really was more of a complicated way to get to Kane vs. Shane. It’s more of WWE thinking you could just toss a McMahon into a story and everything would be fine, which doesn’t work as well when you do it in two straight matches.

Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff

Before the match, Bischoff addresses what happened with Linda, saying it happened again and again and again. Now he knows where Shane gets all of his energy, so here’s Shane in a….complete non hurry actually. Shane pounds him down in the corner with reckless abandon (Or is it still Ruthless Aggression?), followed by some forearms to the ear (called crossfaces by JR).

Eric can’t make it up the aisle as Christian might be coming off like a good idea right about now. A baseball slide sends Eric into the barricade as this has been one sided so far. Shane’s dancing punches take Bischoff down again but the Coach of all people comes in to chair Shane down. Let me make sure I’ve got this straight: Bischoff thought COACH was a better option than the Intercontinental Champion? I get that they want to protect Christian from having to get beaten up by Shane but that makes no sense from Bischoff’s perspective.

Eric says he’s restarting the match as falls count anywhere with no disqualifications so Coach sends Shane into the steps for two. They head inside where Bischoff tells the production staff to cut JR and King’s microphones so Coach can do live commentary in the ring. Bischoff throws kicks as Coach does the traditional job of mocking JR. Shane finally gets in a kick of his own and scores with a DDT, only to have Coach hit him low.

That’s enough to make the glass shatter, as everyone knew was coming. Coach does the “I’m not touching you” thing until Shane shoves him into Austin, meaning the beatdown can be on. The dispatching doesn’t take long and Austin orders JR and King’s mics be turned on again. Austin is about to leave but Shane grabs Bischoff’s hand and slaps Austin in the jaw, meaning a Stunner is perfectly acceptable. Shane pulls him up at two though, as the big elbow drives Bischoff through the announcers’ table for the pin.

Rating: F. What did this accomplish? There’s no reason this couldn’t have been the end of Monday Night Raw as the big deal was Coach turning heel. Use this valuable pay per view time (some of the biggest pay per view time of the year) on the people who matter, not for the sake of making Kane look good because he never gets to do that otherwise. This was really annoying, especially when you consider everything that was left off the show so this could get a lot of time.

Beer is consumed post match because this hasn’t eaten up enough time yet.

HHH and Ric Flair get very serious with Randy Orton, telling him that he needs to focus on keeping the title on HHH and nothing more. Orton: “What? I got it.”

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri vs. Rhyno

Eddie is defending under tornado rules and one fall to a finish. Tony Chimmel tells us that this is the four way for the US Title before telling us that this is the four way for the US Title. It’s a brawl to start with Eddie staying on the floor, which might not be the smartest move in the world here. With Tajiri sent outside, Benoit snaps the Crossface onto Rhyno, drawing Eddie in for the save. Rhyno clotheslines Tajiri for two and Eddie is there for the save again. Eddie gets triple teamed but Rhyno shifts over to Benoit for some reason.

A powerslam gives Rhyno two on Eddie as it’s still all over the place, albeit not at the fastest pace. Rhyno and Benoit are sent outside, leaving Tajiri to monkey flip Eddie for two. All four are back in with Rhyno superplexing Eddie for two with Tajiri making the save. Tajiri gets the same by kicking Benoit in the head but the champ saves this time. A headscissors puts Rhyno on the floor and Eddie’s rope walk hurricanrana gets two on Benoit.

Tajiri comes back in and gets caught in the Lasso From El Paso but Benoit quickly follows with a Crossface on Rhyno. Eddie isn’t sure what to do but Tajiri making the ropes makes his decision much easier. That earns Eddie a Crossface of his own until Rhyno and Tajiri break it up. Rhyno busts up Tajiri’s spine for two and it’s Benoit rolling some German suplexes to make Tajiri feel even worse.

Tajiri manages to get in one of his own though and bridges back for a close two, leaving everyone down at once. Back up and Tajiri gets Benoit in the Tarantula, leaving Rhyno to Gore Eddie. The problem is Eddie had the US Title in his hands to bust up Rhyno’s shoulder, leaving him down in pain. Benoit’s Swan Dive gets two as Tajiri dives in for a save, only to have both of them fall outside. Eddie sneaks in with a frog splash to pin Rhyno and retain the title.

Rating: B-. This was a good match that was trying hard to be great. There were a few too many dead spots in there though and they never hit a higher gear that they were capable of, but at least they did well with what they did. Eddie stealing the pin after cheating with the belt makes perfect sense for him and it’s the right idea to keep the title on him with the roll he’s currently on.

We look at Brock Lesnar destroying Zach Gowen, who will be out for a good while as a result.

Earlier tonight on Heat, Matt Hardy accepted a forfeit win over Gowen.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle. Brock beat Angle for the title at Wrestlemania and Angle went on the shelf. While he was out, Angle and Lesnar became friends, which lead them to Vengeance where Angle won the title back in a triple threat. A few weeks later, Lesnar turned on Angle to join forces with Vince in the name of being the REAL Brock Lesnar. Brock attacked Angle in a cage and left him laying, which has only ticked Angle off coming in to the title match.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock is challenging and we actually get an old school rules explanation from the referee. They hit the mat to start with Angle getting the better of it (not exactly shocking) and frustrating Lesnar early on. Another takedown looks to set up the ankle lock but Kurt goes to a headlock that Brock can break far more easily. Odd thinking there. Back up and Brock shoves him away without too much effort so Angle armdrags Lesnar outside, frustrating Brock all over again.

Kurt follows him outside and starts in on Brock’s knee before sending him into the barricade. Back in and the first suplex gets two on Brock, who responds by gorilla pressing him out to the floor in a big crash (great visual with Angle just falling to the floor). Now it’s Brock’s turn for a suplex as he’s starting to look all surly. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Kurt and we hit the rear naked choke before that meant much to a lot of fans. It’s off to a regular bodyscissors instead, followed by a chinlock.

Of course Angle fights up (after Brock let go of two better holds), this time being cut down by a hard knee to the ribs. A hard clothesline drops Angle again and the move that would become known as Shell Shock (complete with walking around the ring) gives Brock two. Some shoulders in the corner stay on Angle’s ribs so Kurt hits him in the face. You don’t do that to Lesnar though and Angle gets more shoulders to his ribs for his efforts.

Brock’s big running charge goes into the post though and Kurt’s running shoulder block staggers Lesnar. A dropkick to the knee has Brock in more trouble and it’s time to roll the German suplexes (with Lesnar holding the shoulder off each one). The Angle Slam doesn’t work and Brock goes back to the ribs with a spinebuster. Since one finisher is countered, the other has to be as well so Kurt reverses the F5 into a good looking DDT for two of his own. Now the Angle Slam is good for two and Angle is even more fired up.

In my favorite Angle spot, he puts the straps back up so he can take them down all over again. The ankle lock goes on but Brock rolls forward, sending Angle into the referee. Kurt charges at him for what looks like a sunset flip but stops halfway, wrapping his legs around Brock’s neck and arm (almost in an upside down triangle choke). Since that’s not the easiest hold to maintain, Angle switches over to the ankle lock for the tap but there’s no referee.

Cue Vince to chair Angle in the back, setting up the F5 for a delayed two. Another F5 is reversed into the ankle lock to put Brock in real trouble. He grabs all four bottom ropes but the hold isn’t broken for absolutely no apparent reasons, meaning Brock has to tap to retain Angle’s title.

Rating: B+. It’s not quite their Wrestlemania match but Angle getting his win back makes sense….in theory. They’ve been building Lesnar up as the unstoppable monster for the last few weeks so it would have made sense to have him win here (with Vince’s help) before losing the rematch down the line. That being said, I’m fine with Angle retaining here as it makes sense from the long term. In other words, this one depends on how you look at it, but it’s a rather strong match either way.

Vince gets an Angle Slam through a chair to wish him a happy birthday.

We recap Kane vs. Rob Van Dam. Kane lost his mask and despite Van Dam trying to calm him down and say that he didn’t need the mask, Kane went crazy and started destroying everything in his path. This included beating up Van Dam, Shane McMahon and Linda McMahon and setting Jim Ross on fire. This seems to be setting up Kane vs. Shane, but first Van Dam gets his shot tonight.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

No Holds Barred, which is added right before the match. JR refers to Kane as the “byproduct of an inbred mongrel dog”. As I so often wonder of both JR and Jim Cornette: WHERE DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS STUFF??? Van Dam tries to start fast but gets clotheslined down in short order. They head outside with Kane sending him into the barricade but charging into a boot, allowing Rob to follow up with another kick to the face.

Van Dam gets posted though and it’s time for a ladder. Rob is smart enough to kick it into his face, followed by a top rope kick to the chest. A crossbody puts them both on the floor and of course Kane takes over again. The announcers talk about what Kane did to Linda, which is both a good and bad idea. It’s good in that it shows you what Kane is capable of and how evil he is, but it also shows you how unimportant this match is because it’s all about Shane vs. Kane down the line.

Back in and another kick to Kane’s face knocks him into the corner (there’s certainly a pattern here) as JR deems Kane smelly. Kane shoves Rob off the top and down onto the barricade as the violence starts to go the monster’s way again. The ladder to the face drops Rob again and it’s time for some simple choking. Thankfully the referee doesn’t break it up because that comes off as barring a hold, which might get a lawyer involved with his life.

Rob gets kicked outside again and this time Kane follows by going to the top, only to dive into the barricade by mistake (that looked bad on replay as Kane seemed to slip, leaving him without enough distance and sending him head first into the barricade). Now it’s Rob getting in a ladder shot, which Kane of course shrugs off.

A DDT on the floor knocks Rob silly but he’s able to drop toehold Kane into the steps. The spinning kick from the apron drops Kane again, followed by Rolling Thunder onto the chair. Kane sits up so Rob dropkicks the chair into his face for good measure. The Van Terminator misses though and a Tombstone onto the steps is enough to end Rob.

Rating: B. Nice brawl here but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it didn’t mean anything given the story they’ve already told us is coming. Rob was trying here though and made the match fun, especially with the story of the wrestling going to Van Dam and the hardcore stuff going to Kane, but we’re heading for Kane vs. Shane and everyone knows it.

Bischoff is banged up and doesn’t want to talk about his loss but Linda McMahon comes in. Eric starts stammering and gets slapped in the face as the billionaire gets revenge. I can totally relate.

Flair gives HHH a final pep talk.

The Chamber is lowered.

Long recap on the main event, which also features a look at the Chamber. HHH was scheduled to defend against Goldberg one on one but a torn groin necessitated a multi-person match because Heaven forbid HHH take a spear and Jackhammer and lose in a short match with the excuse that he wasn’t ready or was wrestling hurt or any other idea they had. Somehow we get Kevin Nash in another main event though, because that’s what the world was waiting for. There have been some personal issues added after the match announcement but it still feels a little thrown together.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash

The intervals are three minutes this year because we need to move this along. Goldberg slips during his entrance, which is edited out of the Network version (though he goes from standing in the middle of the stage to a few steps to the right off a camera cut). Shawn and Jericho start us off as the fans chant for Goldberg. They hit the mat to start for the Flair pinfall reversal sequence before trading slaps.

Shawn backdrops him but has to switch to a small package to escape the Walls attempt. Jericho can’t hit the Lionsault so instead we’ll listen to JR mess up history by saying this title has only changed hands once before in Arizona. That’s some nice sounding trivia, but remember that this title isn’t even a year old yet and has its own lineage. Sure that doesn’t mean much, but this is the way WWE has set things up and they can’t keep it straight. Anyway, Orton is in third with a high crossbody for two on Shawn, followed by the signature backbreaker gets the same on Jericho.

The RKO is broken up though and Jericho backdrops Orton onto the steel. Now the Walls work just fine on Shawn but it’s Kevin Nash in fourth. That’s enough for Jericho to break it up and go after Nash, who isn’t happy with his new haircut. I find it rather spiffy, even as Nash throws Jericho into the Chamber wall. Nash’s side slam gets two on Orton and Jericho is busted open. Nash goes over for a Jackknife, only to get superkicked down, allowing Jericho to roll him up for the pin, meaning Nash was in there for all of two minutes.

HHH is in fifth….and Shawn superkicks him right back into the pod. Nash isn’t done yet though and Jackknifes Jericho and Orton as a parting gift. Shawn, who is down off throwing a superkick, covers both villains for two each. Everyone punches it out until Goldberg is in to complete the field. Right hands and forearms abound and it’s the spear to get rid of Orton in short order. Jericho gets launched onto the cage floor again and another spear sends him through the Plexiglas.

As Goldberg gets back in, Shawn scores with a forearm followed by the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music misses though and it’s a spear and Jackhammer to get us down to three. The same thing gets rid of Jericho and it’s HHH (who still hasn’t gotten out of the pod) vs. Goldberg for the title.

Flair shuts the pod again and holds it shut as well as he can, only to have Goldberg break the “unbreakable Plexiglas”. Some right hands keep HHH in trouble and Goldberg sends him into the Chamber walls a few times. A clothesline takes him down again and HHH is busted open. Goldberg loads up the spear but Flair slips HHH the sledgehammer to knock Goldberg cold and the title is retained.

Rating: D. This wasn’t even twenty minutes long. The best way to describe this match would be a middle finger to the fans who are nearly dying to see HHH lose that freaking title already but we need to make sure he’s ready to give Goldberg the rub or something. I’m not sure how WWE can validate keeping the title on HHH when they have Goldberg right there and HHH can barely move, but I’m sure it’s just the right thing to do, at least according to HHH. That’s 2003 in a nutshell: cheer for whomever you want, but you get HHH.

The rest of the match was of course nothing because Goldberg was the only person who could conceivably win the thing. Instead of something competitive and compelling, it was fifteen minutes of waiting around on Goldberg, then Goldberg crushing people for a few minutes, and then HAHA IT’S THE SLEDGEHAMMER AGAIN! The ending was so deflating that there’s not

Evolution beats Goldberg down and handcuffs him to the Chamber because WWE needs to demonstrate how to book Goldberg.

Overall Rating: D. The show isn’t even that bad, but rather almost completely flat. There are a few good matches with Brock vs. Angle being a highlight but that just made me want to watch the Wrestlemania match again. The TV coming into this show has been really dull due to a lot of McMahons and while they were used more sparingly here, you could still feel them throughout the whole show. That main event really took the life out of the whole thing though and there was nothing else that was going to fix things. Not a good show, but it could have been worse.

Ratings Comparison

La Resistance vs. Dudley Boys

Original: C

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: C-

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D

2013 Redo: N/A

2018 Redo: F

Rhyno vs. Tajiri vs. Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B+

2018 Redo: B-

Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B+

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: B

HHH vs. Goldberg vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash vs. Randy Orton

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: D

That’s one of the hardest swings I’ve ever had on a show but you can see a little consistency in there somewhere.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/06/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2003-brock-vs-angle-ii/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/08/summerslam-count-up-2003-meet-the-old-hhh-same-as-the-new-hhh/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2001
Date: August 19, 2001
Location: Compaq Center, San Jose, California
Attendance: 15,293
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

I’m not sure how it happened but this show was twenty years ago. We’re in the middle of the Invasion so this is going to be a rather Alliance heavy show. That may or may not be a good thing, but the double main event of Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle and Rock vs. Booker T. would likely fall on the good side. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a naration-less highlight package set to Bodies by Drowning Pool. I guess you don’t need words for a story as simple and easy to follow with so few moving parts as the Invasion.

Intercontinental Title: Lance Storm vs. Edge

Storm is defending and feels the need to explain the issues with offbeat shenanigans. After saying that the silence from the crowd is “splendid” (such an awesomely underused word), Storm is cut off by Edge’s entrance and we’re ready to start fast. They run the ropes a bit until Edge knocks him outside. That doesn’t last long and Edge comes back in with a high crossbody for an early two. Storm sends him crashing to the floor though and it’s back inside for those unique stomps.

A gordbuster gets two on Edge and Storm starts in on Edge’s ribs. Storm tells him to get up so Edge does with some right hands, only to miss a dropkick. So now Storm is happy that Edge is back down. Make up your mind dude. Edge gets shouldered in the corner as we cut to the WWF locker room, including Christian (with Edge’s King of the Ring trophy) watching (as they are known to do).

The chinlock with a knee in the back has Edge in more trouble and we hit the abdominal stretch. Edge fights out and sends him to the apron so Storm springboards back in, right into a powerslam. A spinwheel kick gives Edge two and the Edge-O-Matic gets the same. Storm is fine enough to roll him into the Canadian Mapleleaf but Edge makes the rope (to a heck of a reaction). Edge gets his own Mapleleaf so here is Christian….who spears Edge by mistake to give Storm two. Edge has had it with this and Impales Storm for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. The Christian stuff advanced the story, but the point here was everything else going on. Storm and Edge had some good chemistry together and while Storm was always in need of a better finisher, they had an exciting match here and it got the fans off on the right foot. That’s why you put these two in this spot and it worked out well.

Post match Christian grabs the title and seems to think about something before handing it to Edge.

Test, who recently joined the Alliance, and the Dudley Boyz are ready to destroy the APA and Spike Dudley. Test is sick of the WWF sounding stupid and the Dudleys are sick of being overshadowed by Spike. Tonight, Test will show you loyalty.

Test/Dudley Boyz vs. Spike Dudley/APA

Molly Holly is here with Spike and the APA. Faarooq slugs away at Bubba to start but it’s quickly off to D-Von for a clothesline. Test gets a chance of his own and is clotheslined down by D-Von. The fast tags continue as D-Von comes in and gets DDTed. We get to the important part as Spike comes in for some rollups until Bubba drops him onto the top rope. The stomping is on in the corner as Heyman is very pleased with the “tough love”.

It’s table time (JR: “This is not a tables match!” Heyman: “It’s a Dudleys match!”) but Spike slips out of a gorilla press. He gets caught with a double flapjack though and the villains get to beat on him a bit more. Spike gets in a shot of his own though and the hot tag brings in Bradshaw to clean house. Everything breaks down and Bradshaw powerbombs D-Von for two. Spike gets puts through the table as the Clothesline From Bradshaw blasts D-Von. The referee is distracted though and Alliance boss Shane McMahon chairs Bradshaw to give D-Von the pin.

Rating: C. The match was nothing memorable but it kept a midcard story going and give us some nice action at the same time. The chair shot at the end will give them somewhere else to go and Spike vs. his brothers would work almost every time. I can always go for a good six man and this was close enough.

Some WWF wrestlers are upset but others are too busy congratulating Edge. Christian interrupts and says he has a European Title match tomorrow. Edge doesn’t seem thrilled with Christian stealing his moment but Grandma Edna calls Christian….so she can talk to Edge instead. With plans made for later, Grandma hangs up instead of talking to Christian again. This continues to work.

Shawn Stasiak interrupts Debra (Steve Austin’s wife) and complains about his trunks. Debra tells him to buzz off because Austin has a big match tonight. If Stasiak wants to impress Austin, go beat someone up.

Cruiserweight Title/Light Heavyweight Title: X-Pac vs. Tajiri

Title for title and I do miss the X Factor theme. Both guys hold up both titles and we’re ready to go. Pac takes him down in a hurry to start and the posing is on. Tajiri sweeps the leg and hits a standing moonsault as we hear about Pac’s career in Japan. Back up and Tajiri sends him outside for a baseball slide as the pace picks up in a hurry. Pac manages to send him into the barricade to take over and hits a spinning kick to the face back inside. There’s the surfboard, which seems almost required in this spot.

Back up and Pac grabs a sitout powerbomb for two but the Bronco Buster misses, mainly because Pac takes WAY too much time running around like a moron. Some kicks give Tajiri two and the Tarantula makes it worse. Tajiri’s bridging German suplex gets two but Pac sends him outside for the big running flip dive. The handspring elbow is broken up and a quick X Factor gets a delayed two. Cue Pac’s buddy Albert, who gets misted down in a hurry. That’s enough for Page to hit a low blow into an X Factor to retain/win.

Rating: C. The one good thing about Pac is he could have a fine match with just about anyone and did so here. Tajiri can go with all kinds of opponents as well so they had a nice setup here. I wonder if that first X Factor was a timing issue, as it was a finisher that didn’t go anywhere and then they did the angle to finish it. Either way, perfectly fine match for titles that mean nothing.

Perry Saturn is at WWF New York and is looking for Moppy (his mop). He even has her on the side of a milk carton.

Stephanie McMahon gives Rhyno a pep talk about all the things she wants him to do to Chris Jericho.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Rhyno. Jericho has tormented Stephanie McMahon for months so she is sending Rhyno after him. Violence is promised.

Chris Jericho vs. Rhyno

Stephanie is here with Rhyno. The slugout is on to start until Jericho hits a running forearm to take over. A top rope elbow to the head has Rhyno in trouble but it’s way too early for the Walls. Rhyno misses a charge and flies out to the floor so Jericho goes up. Stephanie grabs the foot, earning herself a kick away, but the distraction lets Rhyno Gore Jericho out of the air (which doesn’t get the reaction it deserves). It takes some time for both of them to get back in, where Rhyno drops him ribs first across the barricade.

Stephanie gets in a slap (the most lethal move in the company) and Rhyno grabs a bodyscissors to (wisely) stay on the ribs. With that not getting very far, Rhyno changes things up a lot with an airplane spin into a TKO of all things. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Jericho fights up, only to get knocked down again. Rhyno misses a top rope splash (because Rhyno is known for his flying) and they’re both down. Jericho fires off some running shoulders but slips on the Lionsault attempt.

Instead Jericho connects with the top rope elbow to the face but Stephanie gets up for a distraction. That warns her a kiss (which makes me wonder how much money there would have been in a forbidden roman angle between these two) and Jericho catches Rhyno with the bulldog. Now the Lionsault connects for two but Rhyno grabs a belly to belly to set up the Walls on Jericho. The rope is grabbed so Jericho snaps off an enziguri but has to avoid the Gore. The missed charge lets Jericho get the Walls for the tap.

Rating: C+. This worked well and a lot of that is due to Stephanie, who made this whole story work in the first place. I know she gets a lot of flack but when she actually has someone show her up, it really does make things better. The match itself was Jericho vs. a (talented) monster and that was going to work all day. This wasn’t the show stealer or anything, but it was a rather nice match with a well told story. That’s all you need a lot of the time.

Stephanie storms off, as she should.

William Regal stops the Rock to ask if he’s ok after an attack from Booker T. on Smackdown. Of course the Rock is hurt but he’s here at Summerslam and the only thing Booker T. did was tick him off. Rock asks if Regal can hear the crowd and feel the….unspecified something. Regal certainly can, but can he smell it? They step aside for a charging Shawn Stasiak, and Rock confirms that you certainly can smell it. Stasiak is a guilty pleasure but Rock didn’t have much to say here.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy is defending in a ladder match, which should write itself. They actually go technical to start for an early standoff, though the fans stay into it because they know what’s coming. Van Dam misses a dropkick and gets caught with the legdrop between the legs. Back up and Hardy is sent to the apron, where he hiptosses Van Dam outside. A springboard Whisper in the Wind drops Van Dam again but he’s right back with a kick to the face.

There’s the spinning kick off the apron to the back and it’s time for the first ladder. As usual, that takes too long so Hardy gets in a shot of his own, only to have Van Dam see saw the ladder into Hardy’s face. Hardy is right back by pulling Van Dam onto the ladder for an Arabian press onto Van Dam onto the ladder. Van Dam ties him in the Tree of Woe for some shoulders to the ribs and the ladder is laid across the bottom rope.

That means Rolling Thunder out of the corner to crush Hardy again, setting up a slingshot legdrop over the top, onto Hardy and onto the ladder. Hardy gets in a shot of his own and goes up, only to have Van Dam come off the top to kick the ladder down. Now it’s Rolling Thunder onto the ladder onto Hardy, leaving him down again. Van Dam goes up so Hardy dropkicks it down this time to leave them both in a heap.

This time it’s Hardy going up, and promptly being superplexed back down. They both go up again, with Hardy hitting a heck of a sunset bomb for another double crash. Hardy goes up and grabs the title but Van Dam moves the ladder, leaving Hardy hanging. Since Van Dam can’t pull him down, it’s a top rope spinning kick to knock Hardy out of the air for the huge crash. That’s enough for Van Dam to pull down the title, with Hardy not getting there in time.

Rating: B. This wasn’t about psychology or anything else, but rather “can you top this”. That was the absolute right way to go for these two as they’re both insane high fliers who can do that style like few others. It’s also what the fans wanted to see here and the guys delivered, leaving very little room for complaining. Sometimes you need a human car crash and these two are as good as there were at it at this point.

Shane McMahon gives Booker T. a present: bookends made from the table he put the Rock through on Smackdown. Booker dedicates his match to Shane, who is rather pleased.

We recap Diamond Dallas Page/Kanyon vs. Undertaker/Kane. Page stalked Undertaker’s wife Sara, filming her at home and passing the tapes around the locker room. He even had a shrine to Sara set up at the arenas (must have been the travel version). Page got Kanyon to help him so Undertaker found Kane, and since we need all the wacky titles around here, this is title for title in a cage.

WCW Tag Team Titles/WWF Tag Team Titles: Undertaker/Kane vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Kanyon

Title for title in a cage with pinfall, submission or escape. Undertaker slams the door shut (with a good THUD) and we’re ready to go, with Sara holding the key. The violence begins in a hurry with Page and Kanyon getting beaten down without much trouble. Page manages to send Undertaker into the cage and hits a clothesline, only to get kicked in the face. Kane kicks both of them down and the first chokeslam plants Kanyon.

A powerbomb drives Kanyon into the cage and Undertaker’s running boot drives Page into the wall as well. Kanyon is back up and tries to escape in the corner, allowing him to hammer at Kane’s head. The Brothers are actually down but sit up at the same time, meaning the double chase is on. Undertaker winds up on top of the cage and punches Page down, but tells Kane to let Kanyon go.

Page gets up and realizes what is going on, meaning torture can ensue. A side slam plants Page again but Undertaker pulls him up at two. Undertaker pulls out a chain to send Page into the cage before telling him to get out of here and live. Page tries to leave and is chokeslammed back down. Serves him right for being an idiot. The Last Ride ends Page for the pin and both titles.

Rating: C. I think I remember hating this one before, but it makes sense in context. No one was expecting Undertaker and Kane to have trouble with these two goons and that’s what happened here. This should have been a squash, both for the sake of who was in there and the story they were telling. It wasn’t a competitive match, but why should it have been? Who in the world is supposed to be able to hang with Undertaker and Kane in a cage anyway?

The Rock tells the trainer that he’s fine and, after sidestepping a charging Shawn Stasiak, promises to win the WCW World Title.

We recap Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle for Austin’s WWF Title. Austin turned on the WWF at InVasion because he thought Vince McMahon wanted to hug Angle instead of him. Angle became the face of the WWF and went on a roll throughout the company, tearing everyone apart along the way. Austin was all that was left and it’s time for the big showdown. This gets the well deserved music video treatment.

WWF World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

Austin is defending and they start in the aisle before the bell. Angle gets tossed inside to officially start and takes Austin down without much effort. An exchange of right hands in the corner goes to the more aggressive Angle but he gets elbowed in the back of the head. It’s already time to go after Angle’s knee with some cannonballs and a twist, but Angle reverses into a quickly escaped ankle lock.

Austin gets two off a suplex, with JR saying it won’t be the last. On cue, Angle rolls some German suplexes, ducks a clothesline and rolls some more German suplexes. After getting Austin away from the ropes, Angle rolls some more German suplexes but the Angle Slam attempt is reversed into a whip into the corner. A top rope superplex plants Angle again but Austin’s own back is messed up. There’s a Stunner out of nowhere for two and Austin (who is walking a bit funny) yells at the referee.

Another Stunner sends Angle outside and Austin whips him into the post to draw some blood. More postings have the blood flowing even faster and Austin sends him in a fourth time for a bonus. Back in and Angle kicks out at two so Austin throws him outside again. Angle manages to send Austin over the barricade for a breather but Austin puts him down on the concrete as well.

That’s fine with Angle, who grabs the ankle lock on the steps and drags Austin back inside (that was cooler than it should have been) but Austin crawls back outside to escape. A belly to belly on the floor rocks Austin again and there’s a belly to back to make it worse. Back in and Angle ACTUALLY HITS THE MOONSAULT (I’m actually not sure when I’ve seen that work so you know it’s a big match) for two but Austin is right back with the Million Dollar Dream.

That’s good for two arm drops, plus a great closeup of Angle’s bloody head. Angle powers out but walks into another Stunner for two. A desperation Angle Slam gets a delayed two and the ankle lock goes on, but Austin hits the referee. Angle grabs a DDT for two from a second referee, so Austin hits Angle low and Stuns the referee. A third referee comes in and gets hit with the belt, meaning the Angle Slam gets no count. Cue Alliance referee Nick Patrick to DQ Austin instead.

Rating: A-. This was a heck of a fight with both guys laying into each other and telling a great story. Both guys were on their game and Austin simply could not beat him. That is how you set up a rematch, which is exactly what they did next month when Angle won the title in his hometown. Outstanding match, and the last great one of Austin’s career.

Angle destroys Patrick to blow off some steam.

JR EXPLODES on Heyman, shouting about how Austin couldn’t beat Angle, with Heyman basically no selling the whole thing.

We recap Booker T. vs. the Rock. The Rock had returned and confirmed that he was still with the WWF by laying out Shane McMahon. He was still the People’s Champion, which Booker didn’t like. Rock didn’t care what Booker had to say but Booker challenged him for Summerslam. Game on, complete with Booker putting Rock through a table with the Book End to bang up his ribs.

WCW World Title: The Rock vs. Booker T.

Booker, with Shane McMahon, is defending. Rock knocks him outside to start but stops to chase Shane, allowing Booker to get in a few shots. The Samoan drop gives Rock two abut Booker is back with a knee to the ribs. A side kick gives Booker two but Rock tosses him over the top for the crash to the floor.

Booker is sent into the announcers’ tables a few times but is back up to crotch Rock on the barricade. They go over the barricade to keep up the brawl and then head back inside for the slugout. Rock punches away until another kick to the face cuts him down. The chinlock goes on as commentary gets in another argument over the Spinarooni. That’s broken up and Rock grabs the Sharpshooter, drawing Shane back up to the apron.

With Rock taking care of Shane, Booker is able to get back up for another kick to the face. A catapult sends Booker face first into the (exposed) buckle for two so Shane grabs the title…and is taken out by the APA in revenge for earlier. The referee checks on Shane so the Book End only gets a delayed two. Rock’s big jumping clothesline into the belly to belly gets two and the spinebuster connects. The People’s Elbow gets two as Shane grabs the referee and Booker is back with a spinebuster of his own. The ax kick sets up the Spinarooni….but Rock nips up into the Rock Bottom for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. They were in a tough spot here for a few reasons. First of all, the Rock was several levels above Booker and there was no way around it. As great as Booker was, he wasn’t the Rock and that was very obvious. On top of that, you can only get so far when you’re following Austin vs. Angle going 22 minutes. They tried to have all of the extra stuff going on here to make it feel huge, but it came off as a matter of time rather than a big showdown.

Rock celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This was a heck of a show with some great matches and almost nothing close to bad. The one two punch of the main event is awesome, with Storm vs. Edge and the ladder match making it even better. Angle vs. Austin is still white hot as a main event story and things should get better heading into the fall. They wouldn’t, but based on what they had here, they should. Awesome show and worth watching for sure.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Lance Storm

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2021 Redo: B-

APA/Spike Dudley vs. Test/Dudley Boys

Original: C

2013 Redo: D+

2021 Redo: C

Tajiri vs. X-Pac

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2021 Redo: C

Rhyno vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2021 Redo: C+

Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B

2021 Redo: B

Diamond Dallas Page/Kanyon vs. Undertaker/Kane

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2021 Redo: C

Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A-

2013 Redo: A-

2021 Redo: A-

The Rock vs. Booker T

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2021 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A-

2021 Redo: A-

I think we’ve come to just about as definitive of a version of this show as I’m going to have.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/04/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-2001-summerslam-gets-all-alliancey/

And the 2013 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2021/08/03/summerslam-count-up-summerslam-2001-2013-redo-the-alliancey-one/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

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