Smackdown – October 1, 2015: A Lucha Libre Tradition And Split Personalities

Smackdown
Date: October 1, 2015
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Booker T., Jerry Lawler, Rich Brennan

Oh joy it’s another Smackdown. We’re getting closer to the show moving to USA in January, meaning the show is the same lame duck that it’s been for years now. I’m really hoping this show gets a new life on the new network but for some reason WWE is perfectly happy to have the show just exist on Fridays with nothing important happening. Let’s get to it.

On a sidenote: today is five years to the day since Smackdown debuted on SyFy.

We open with a recap of Kane and Rollins on Monday. I’m still trying to figure out if I’m supposed to cheer for the demon who tried to drag Seth down to whatever was beneath the ring or the guy who cheats all the time and attacked Kane because he couldn’t handle someone disagreeing with him.

Here’s Rollins to open the show. He has the belt with him, even though Kane was last seen with it on Raw. Rollins is livid and demands that Kane get out here so here’s Corporate Kane on crutches. Kane is glad to be back at his job, even if it includes dealing with Rollins acting like a spoiled brat. It’s time for exposition mode (that should be Rollins’ finisher as it puts more people out than the Pedigree) as Rollins recaps the entire story and explains everything again before they argue over who needs psychiatric evaluations.

Kane is just a corporate boss and the demon is a figment of Seth’s imagination. Maybe Rollins is just trying to get out of his US Title match this Saturday in Madison Square Garden. I certainly would want to get out of another loss because someone was stupid enough to have the World Champion feud with the US Champion and lose every match.

Kane says there’s a demon chasing Rollins but it’s not him. He could use a pick me up though so how about Rollins teams with the New Day against the Dudley Boyz and Demon Kane. You mean the figment of his imagination? So it’s a handicap match? Rollins says no, but Kane says he’ll be at ringside to make sure the demon is in action. Lawler: “This proves that Kane is smarter than the average bear!” Well we were running low on Hanna-Barbera references so thanks for covering us King.

Team Bella vs. Team BAD

Before the match, BAD brings up the obvious point: no one cares who started the Divas Revolution. I do love how they keep arguing about this when it’s a rare occasion where you can point to the night Stephanie started it but no one brings her up in the whole thing. Sasha says the only thing anyone is going to remember is Team BAD taking over. Booker: “That’s hot.”

Brie kicks at Sasha to start and is actually getting close to figuring out the timing on those YES Kicks. It’s off to Naomi vs. Alicia but Tamina makes a blind tag and takes Fox down with a clothesline. Nikki bounces off Tamina and gets taken over in the Samoan drop. The Bellas are sent to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Nikki sending Naomi to the apron and Alicia offering a distraction so Nikki can hit the big forearm. Fox puts on the chinlock but the fans want Sasha. A double clothesline finally allows the hot tag to Banks for some house cleaning. The double knees in the corner get two on Nikki as everything breaks down. The Rack Attack is broken up and Sasha grabs the Bank Statement to make Nikki tap at 11:11. Booker: “THAT WAS SMOKING HOT KING!”

Rating: C+. This got going by the end but as usual they seem to have no idea how the story goes. As best as I can tell, at least Sasha is a face now but Naomi and Tamina are somewhere in the middle but closer to face than heel. Of course this all happened without a turn of any kind and we’re just supposed to figure it out as we go. At least Sasha got to beat Nikki, who hopefully moves away from the title soon enough. Then again this match isn’t likely to ever be referenced again.

New Day teaches Seth Rollins the virtue of clapping, with Woods tying it into saving the tables of the world. Seth needs to drop the Cross Fit training and believe in the power of being positive. Rollins joins in and dances away to some to some trombone playing. Kane limps in and smiles. They’re even making Rollins entertaining again.

Charlotte and Becky are getting annoyed at Paige for being whiny when Paige pops in. Paige doesn’t want to hear it so Charlotte says you’re with us or against us. Becky and Charlotte leave but are replaced by Natalya, who threatens Paige if she ever disrespects her again. It’s amazing how much more interesting these basic stories (like the ones they use on NXT) are than some team battle series which overshadows the title.

Intercontinental Title: Kevin Owens vs. Ryback

This is Ryback’s rematch after Owens took the title from him at Night of Champions. Kevin bails tot he floor to start but Ryback goes right after him. Back inside and the fight over a suplex with Ryback lifting him up for a nice delayed vertical. Ryback is sent into the post though, setting up a DDT for two from Owens as we take a break. Back with Owens elbowing him in the face and dropping a backsplash for two.

Time for the standard chinlock because that big build up to the chinlock had to be killed before it got over. The FEED ME MORE chants get Ryback to his knees and a swinging belly to belly puts Owens on the mat for a change. A sitout powerslam gets two on the champ so he comes out of the corner with some slaps to the face. Ryback is ticked off so he charges into a boot for two. The Meathook connects but Owens rolls outside again and takes the countout at 11:28.

Rating: C-. They had a decent power match going but it was clearly just a matter of killing time until they got to the ending. I mean, there hasn’t been a title change on Smackdown in over two and a half years and I really didn’t expect them to change anything tonight. I’m sure we’ll see this again at the pay per view.

Ryback escapes the apron powerbomb and Shell Shocks Owens post match.

Video on Lesnar vs. Big Show.

Lucha Dragons/Neville vs. Ascension/Stardust

Well they had to have a rubber match before people started taking the shows hostage without knowing who the better team was. Viktor takes Cara down to start but an attempt at a slingshot powerbomb (like Blanchard’s slingshot suplex) is countered into a hurricanrana. Stardust comrs in but gets kicked down by Neville, followed by a standing shooting star press for two. Everyone goes to the floor for a staredown and we take a break.

Back with Neville firing off his kicks to Viktor, who slugs Neville off the ropes and hits a middle rope falcon’s arrow of all things for two. Stardust misses a charge out to the floor though and the hot tag brings in Kalisto to really speed things up. The Queen’s Crossbow is countered into a tornado DDT and Cara dives through the ropes to take Viktor down. Stardust and Neville fight to the floor, leaving Kalisto to hit a quick Salida Del Sol to end Konor at 8:48.

Rating: C. Take a fun feud and then drag it out until there’s nothing left to do with it and the matches start going nowhere. I’m assuming Neville or Stardust move on to fight Barrett now and the feud ends because the idea of pushing a feud beyond a best of three series is unthinkable in WWE. I mean, it was a rubber match and rubber is like, impressive.

We recap Reigns and Wyatt’s brawl on Monday. Bray using a person as a projectile is still awesome.

Here are the Wyatts in the arena to address Reigns. Bray has fought many men over the years but he’s never met anyone like Reigns. On Monday, they created complete chaos but it’s still anyone but you Roman. Cue Reigns on his own but Bray tells the monsters to step to the side. Roman slowly gets in the ring and stares Bray down.

Bray raises the mic but Roman cuts him off, making Bray’s eyes open wider than they have in a long time. Reigns: “Hell in a Cell.” Bray, not on the mic, says what looked to be like “I would be delighted.” Reigns leaves and Bray says he hopes Roman is willing to sacrifice everything and die. Cool stuff here, as is usually the case when Reigns plays it serious. This is the logical way to blow off the feud too, as it’s a match culminating inside the Cell instead of just having a match inside because the calendar says so. In other words: it’s what people have been saying since they started the Cell PPV.

Kane/Dudley Boyz vs. New Day/Seth Rollins

It’s Demon Kane in the mat and Corporate Kane (who claps along with New Day’s entrance) sitting at ringside. Translation, we’re starting with a handicap match. Woods is on the floor and it’s Big E. vs. D-Von to start as Booker is giving shoutouts to his old band director. All five come in for a staredown and we’re off to a break about a minute and a half in. Back with D-Von getting stomped down in the corner.

Woods plays the trombone and New Day does some dancing on the apron until D-Von is tossed to the floor. Rollins busts out a suicide dive and takes out Kane in the process, damaging the leg again. Seth freaks out over Kane going to the back and follows him up the ramp, leaving us with a regular match for a bit. Kane gives Rollins an evil smile and you should know what’s coming.

Reality sets in on Seth as D-Von suplexes Big E., allowing for the tag off to Ray. Bubba splashes Kofi in the corner and knocks Rollins out to the floor. D-Von dives on New Day and here’s Kane. Destruction begins and Rollins bails, allowing the 3D to take Kofi out for the pin at 10:37.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to the match aside from an obvious ending. I’m actually digging the idea of Kane going back and forth like this, but I really don’t need Michael Myers Kane as a face, or in a title shot for that matter. It’s a cool enough idea but I’m not a fan of sitting around waiting on a twist that everyone knows is coming.

Kane grabs the title again and lays out New Day and the Dudleyz. Rollins comes out on the stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. What was with all the six man tags tonight? This show felt more energetic than usual but most of the wrestling brought it back to earth. I like the idea of having Reigns vs. Wyatt made for the pay per view here as it felt like an important moment for a change, even if it’s something that will likely be mentioned on Raw half a dozen times in the first hour. Still though, fun enough show that felt bigger than most weeks.

Results

Team BAD b. Team Bella – Bank Statement to Nikki

Ryback b. Kevin Owens via countout

Lucha Dragons/Neville b. Ascension/Stardust – Salida Del Sol to Konor

Kane/Dudley Boyz b. New Day/Seth Rollins – 3D to Kingston

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Monday Night Raw – September 28, 2015: The Really Old Try

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 28, 2015
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

Tonight is a packed show, headlined by the return of the US Open Challenge for John Cena’s United States Title. It’s always fun to see who is going to be accepting the challenge and probably having the best match of the night with Cena. In addition to that we’ll have Becky Lynch and Paige on MizTV and fallout from Kane pulling Seth Rollins through the mat last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Seth Rollins’ issues over the last week. His loss to Ambrose on Smackdown isn’t mentioned because that show doesn’t exist in the mainstream WWE universe. It’s almost like that loss to Ambrose really didn’t need to happen, at least not by pinfall.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena for the US Title open challenge. The fans aren’t all that thrilled to see him though. Cena: “Have no fear because THE CHAMP IS HERE!” The challenge is on now. Instead of just one challenger though, all three members of New Day are here. They sing a little song about winning the US Title before Kofi says they might as well be called Team Scrooge McDuck because they’re about to be swimming in gold. The concert isn’t over yet because they sing NEW US CHAMPS to the tune of Cena’s theme song. Cena wants one of them right now and it’s time to be serious.

US Title: John Cena vs. Xavier Woods

Cena gets right in Woods’ face in the corner during the big match intros. The bell rings and Cena takes his head off with a clothesline two seconds in, sending Woods to the floor. Woods: “I WASN’T READY!” Big E. gets knocked off the apron and Kofi grabs Cena’s foot to break up an early Shuffle attempt. That earns both Kofi and Big E. an ejection and we take a break after 80 seconds and two moves.

Back with Cena hitting the Shuffle but Woods slips out of the AA and getting two off an enziguri. A middle rope DDT gets two on the champ but the flipping clothesline is countered with a sitout powerbomb to give Cena two. Woods comes right back with a reverse suplex and Lost in the Woods (Eat Defeat) for two each. Xavier misses a missile dropkick and Cena slaps on the STF, drawing Kofi and Big E. in for the DQ at 9:22.

Rating: C+. It’s not a classic or anything close to one really, but this was all it needed to be. Woods was in way over his head here but came out looking fine. There was almost no chance of a new champion here but the there didn’t need to be. This was about the segment that set up the match and a fun performance, which is all this needs to be about a lot of the time. Good stuff here.

Post match here are the Dudleyz a few seconds later for the save. It looks like a six man after the break.

John Cena/Dudley Boyz vs. New Day

That’s exactly what we have and it’s joined in progress with Kofi getting pounded down in the corner by D-Von and then Bubba. Cena requests and receives a tag and it’s time for Kofi to get some rotating stomps of his own. The Shuffle sends Kofi over for the tag to Big E. and it’s power vs. power. Big E. shoulders Cena into the corner and it’s time for some dancing, followed by the real rotating stomps.

Kofi slaps on a chinlock as Woods plays the trombone and shouts that he should be US Champion. For some reason this results in Cole bringing up that he’s undefeated at Wrestlemania and Byron saying that’s like him being Tupac. E.’s splash gets two but Cena rolls over and tags in D-Von as everything breaks down. D-Von launches E. into the ropes but knocks Cena off the apron in a big crash. What’s Up hits Kofi but Bubba is sent out for not being legal, allowing Kofi to hit Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 6:45.

Rating: C-. This started good and hit a brick wall in the middle. Cena getting knocked off the apron was a turning point and it makes sense to have New Day beat the Dudleyz when it’s 3-2. I’m not sure what happens in the tag match on Saturday in MSG and I rather like that feeling.

The Authority and an unknown woman are in the back when Kane comes in. The woman is from human resources due to a complaint against Kane for creating an unsafe working environment. Rollins comes in and hints very strongly that he made the complaint. Kane promises to take this seriously before glaring at Rollins. A sip of coffee brings him back to reality and he’s off for his evaluation. This continues to intrigue me a bit but these performance evaluations are almost never any good.

Ambrose suggests that Reigns fighting Bray one on one might not be the best idea. Dean will stay in the back unless Strowman and Harper get involved. Reigns says that Orton will have his back too and Dean gets a bit annoyed. Orton comes in and Dean says he doesn’t want any outsiders trying to come in and save the day. Roman calms things down.

Big Show vs. Mark Henry

I’ll be shocked if this breaks two minutes. Show spears him down and plants Henry with some slow slams and a kick to the face. The KO punch ends this at 2:36. I get what they’re doing with Big Show and I appreciated them using Henry instead of someone with value, but can they really think that the exact same formula for building someone up is going to work again?

It’s time for MizTV and Miz starts us off with a recap of Paige’s heel turn promo last week against the rest of the division. Miz’s guests are Becky Lynch and Charlotte, the former of whom calls Miz a chauvinist jackass. Miz: “First One Direction breaks up and now PCB?” Charlotte tells Paige to get out here for a talk or a fight but here are the Bellas instead. Nikki says this is high school drama and she knows she’s getting the title back.

Charlotte invites her in to tap out one more time but Nikki brags about breaking the record. Nikki talks about Paige saying she started the Divas Revolution (Stephanie being dropped is the right call all the way around) but Charlotte goes off about how the Divas Revolution is about the fans and the action in the ring. Alicia brings up the 3-2 advantage but Becky is ready to fight anyway.

Cue Paige to say she put the NXT women on the map by being their first champion. Nikki asks about the drama again but Paige asks who needs ambition when the Bellas have boyfriends like theirs. I believe that’s the first reference to Cena and Nikki’s relationship on Raw, or at least one of the first. A big brawl clears the ring.

Team PCB vs. Team Bella

So PCB is working together against a common enemy a week after breaking up. Brie comes in but gets double teamed by Charlotte and Becky but the Bellas drag Becky into the corner. Nikki gets in some stomps and Brie gets two off a suplex. A double clothesline puts Becky and Nikki down as the announcers plug Total Divas.

Charlotte comes in to no reaction and everything breaks down. Nikki kicks Charlotte off the Figure Eight and right into Paige, sending her walking to the back. Natalya comes out to replace Paige, who pulls her off the apron for a crash. Nikki uses the distraction to hit the Rack Attack for the pin on Charlotte at 6:26.

Rating: D. So to recap, here’s Charlotte’s reign: wins the title after hitting two moves in a long match, gets beaten up by Brie until she hits one move, then gets pinned in a six person tag. They’re really not trying to hide the fact that they want it back on Nikki and that’s not a good thing after all those months of her as champion.

WWE2K16 video.

Video on the history of Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar.

Rollins is badmouthing Kane to the human resources woman when Kane comes in. Seth changes his tune and Kane gives him a present: the head of his statue. Kane dug it up from the landfill after searching all night and Seth is shaken as you might expect him to be. Kane thinks it’s funny and the woman is equally freaked out.

Wyatt Family vs. Prime Time Players

Harper runs over Young to start and I don’t see this going well. Darren gets knocked to the floor and Braun takes the mask off. The beating continues and Darren keeps getting destroyed inside. Young finally gets in a shot and makes the tag off to Titus for some house cleaning. A powerslam and big boot drop Harper but Strownman offers a distraction so Harper can get in the superkick. Braun grabs Darren and Titus’ save attempt completely fails. The discus lariat from Harper sets up the choke from Braun to knock Titus cold at 4:18.

Rating: D+. Total and complete squash here which is all it needed to be. Strowman is one heck of a monster and this is the kind of stuff that reenforces that perception. The Players are looking less and less important every week, but then again this is the company where you’re a jobber one week and pushed strong the next so they might be in line for a title shot.

Neville vs. Stardust

Neville flips across the ring to start but is quickly caught in the Tree of Woe. Stardust charges into a boot though and Stardust slides to the floor. He springboards into a dropkick from Neville and it’s time for the Red Arrow but cue King Barrett for the DQ at 2:33.

Barrett stares at Stardust but gives him a Bullhammer. Barrett says all hail the return of the king.

Here are Kane and the woman for his evaluation. She’s already come to a conclusion after about an hour and twenty five minutes, but here’s Rollins to interrupt. He shows us a quick recap of Kane’s demonic side (or at least the last few years of it) and says he’s going to Heaven instead. The Pope told him so and Rollins believes him because of how good he’s been feeling lately. Kane shows us a video of Rollins tormenting Kane and calling for him to lose his authority.

The report says that Kane is sound of mind and can keep doing his job. Rollins deserves the evaluation because he’s cruel, paranoid, and the most unprofessional person she has ever seen in WWE. Seth comes to the ring and gets in Kane’s face. Rollins drops the belt so Kane goes to pick it up, only to have Rollins give him a Pedigree. He adds in some chair shots for good measure and even Pillmanizes the ankle.

Rollins laughs and says Kane looks very human to him right now. Kane is loaded onto a stretcher and into an ambulance….but the windows start glowing red. The door opens and Kane comes out in the demon attire. He starts limping but stomps his foot and is suddenly walking just fine. Seth tries a chair shot to no avail and a chokeslam leaves him laying. The threat of a tombstone sends Seth tumbling up the steps and Kane holds up the title. So the evaluation thing was really just a waste of time wasn’t it?

Bray asks if we saw what they did earlier. The Family makes him so proud and they would love nothing more than to come out there tonight and tear Roman to pieces. However, Bray is going to grant Roman’s request to face off one on one. They are the alpha and the omega because it starts and ends with the two of them. Only a fool believes he can look into the dragon’s eyes and believe he won’t be burned. Run.

Bo Dallas comes out for a match but first he says the Buffalo Bills just have to Bo-Lieve to win the Super Bowl.

Bo Dallas vs. Randy Orton

Orton quickly takes it to the floor and drops Dallas across the barricade right in front of some of the Bills. Back in and the RKO ends Bo at 2:00.

We look at Kevin Owens walking out on a tag match on Monday.

Rusev vs. Kevin Owens

Non-title and Ryback is on commentary. This is fallout from Owens walking out on Rusev on Thursday. Owens is knocked to the floor but he throws Rusev into Ryback for the DQ at 46 seconds.

Dolph Ziggler runs out for the save.

We recap the Dancing for Pediatric Awareness challenges between members of the roster.

Here’s Paul Heyman to talk about the MSG match with Big Show. Heyman knows Big Show better than everyone else and he sees Show as a 6th grade math genius who gets a C+ because he’s bored. There’s no competition for Big Show right now, but there will be this Saturday. Brock Lesnar is going to destroy Big Show like never before and take him to Suplex City.

Cue Big Show to say he knows Brock is worried. Heyman didn’t finish talking about Brock’s tour because he knows it could end this Saturday night. Paul leaves and Show tells him to imagine a world without Brock. I appreciate them trying to build something but dude. It’s Lesnar vs. Big Show. Let it go.

Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt

Wyatt brings Harper and Strowman with him but a single insult is enough to make Bray send them back. Roman starts fast with a throw and the apron boot as we take an early break. Back with Bray holding a chinlock, followed by a big slam to set up another chinlock. Reigns fights up and hits the corner clotheslines but the Superman Punch is countered with a standing Rock Bottom attempt.

Some elbows break Roman free but Bray takes his head off with a clothesline for two. Bray loads up a superplex but Reigns slips through the legs and powerbombs him down. Reigns no sells a kick to the face (stop watching puro dude) and Superman Punches Bray to the floor, only to have the spear hit the steps. Bray picks up the steps but Roman knocks them away and keeps fighting to the double countout at 13:04.

Rating: C. This was fine but the ending was pretty obvious. I’m glad neither guy got a win as there was no way this ended here, though I’m not sure where this feud actually does end. You have to assume that Rollins is the right third man one day, but does a six man finally blow this off? Wyatt not losing is a big plus and almost a rare sight, which is a nice surprise.

They keep fighting into the crowd with neither being able to take over. Bray knocks Roman into the barricade and charges Roman through it and back to ringside. Wyatt poses on the announcers’ table but Reigns pops back up and spears him through the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a hard one to grade as the show had some good things as well as some bad things. I like that they’re keeping some stuff short. I remember days where they would have had Orton vs. Dallas go for seven or eight minutes but there’s really no need to do so. Keep the thing short like it should be and give the time to something else.

Unfortunately those somethings else were Kane and Big Show, who are being used as the big stories before we get to the Undertaker match inside the Cell. Now to be fair, these stories could have been FAR worse. It also helps that Big Show vs. Lesnar is this Saturday instead of in another month. The match isn’t something I want to see, but it’s on a free show and now in the main event of a pay per view so this could be a much bigger issue.

Overall, this is your Raw special to the letter: a good enough show that would have been so much better minus an hour. It was clear that they were filling in time, but at least it wasn’t horribly dull filler this time. There’s definitely a better energy lately and you can see a lot more effort in the midcard stories, which has been one of Raw’s biggest problems in the last year or two. The effort changes everything though and has made these last few shows so much easier to sit through. If they can find a way to cut down on the show’s length, they’d have a FAR better show overnight but that’s not happening anytime soon.

Results

John Cena b. Xavier Woods via DQ when Kofi Kingston and Big E. interfered

New Day b. John Cena/Dudley Boyz – Trouble in Paradise to D-Von

Big Show b. Mark Henry – KO Punch

Team Bella b. Team PCB – Rack Attack to Charlotte

Wyatt Family b. Prime Time Players – Standing choke to O’Neil

Neville b. Stardust via DQ when King Barrett interfered

Randy Orton b. Bo Dallas – RKO

Rusev b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Ryback interfered

Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt went to a double countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: September 21, 2015

We’re coming up on Hell in a Cell and again the main event has been set far in advance with Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar. That’s one of those matches that really doesn’t need a lot of direct build so we can focus on everything else for a change. Tonight we get fallout from Rollins going 1-1 at Night of Champions because that’s what World Champions do these days. Let’s get to it.

They mixed things up this week by starting with the Wyatts coming out to talk instead of Rollins or the Authority. It’s amazing how much of an improvement this was and how refreshing it felt to have ANYTHING different starting things off. It’s not like they even started with a match or anything really different. Just seeing some new faces out there was a nice touch.

Anyway, Bray bragged about winning until Reigns came out to challenge Bray one on one. That’s where this feud is likely destined to end and it’s the most logical story they could tell. Eventually Strowman and Harper came in to save their boss but Ambrose came out to help even things up. The big deal here was Randy Orton running out to help the Shield guys, which is likely your next six man at Hell in a Cell.

I could get behind the idea of constantly replacing the third man on the team until it’s Rollins for the obvious big match, but I’m hoping they don’t turn Reigns heel in the process. At least not until the end that is, as he really doesn’t need to switch until the war with the Wyatts is over, at least for now because that one could go on for years to come. That’s not a bad thing either.

Now we get to the big story of the night with Rollins going in to see the Authority but finding Corporate Kane, who has no memory of what Demon Kane did last night. I like the idea of a split personality and neither one remembering anything the other has done as at least it’s something different than the normal Kane. The idea here is that Kane has made Rollins, who is still banged up from last night, vs. Cena (again) for the US Title tonight. The Authority would talk to Kane later and bring up that they haven’t talked to Kane in weeks. They do nothing to change the match and let Kane’s decision stand of course.

The Lucha Dragons/Neville beat Ascension/Stardust in a match where the announcers kept trying to figure out what to call Ascension/Stardust. Basically the same match as last night.

Ryback squashed Bo Dallas and got attacked by Owens post match. There isn’t much to say here but I’m digging the idea of having the feud continue. Above all else: Owens initiated the violence, which is a strong ground for my false hope about Kevin going somewhere with the title instead of being another coward champion.

Now we get to the other big story of the night as Charlotte came out to celebrate the title win but Paige eventually turned heel and did her best AJ Lee doing her best CM Punk impression with a pipe bomb. This is at least a good idea and had the great line of “Nattie doesn’t even seem to work here anymore.” Paige as the secondary heel is an idea, but I have a bad feeling they’re just going to have the Bellas back on top by the end of the year anyway. I mean, they’re on that reality show and that’s totally more important than Paige being on that reality show.

I’m not sure where they’re going here. It would seem that Paige/Natalya might hook up which would be fine, but I’d really like to see one of the Divas on their own for a bit. We’ve spent two and a half months on the team battle series and now we’re possibly getting Paige/Natalya as the overlooked ones to fight the Bellas and Charlotte/Becky. Paige is interesting, but she needs to change her style up a bit.

Brie Bella came out almost immediately and lost to Charlotte in a match very similar to the one from last night. I’m not understanding this idea of having Charlotte play Randy Savage from 1995, but it’s defeating the purpose of her entire character/style so far. She’s awesome in the ring but the idea seems to be to have her sell forever and then hit one big move. As usual, they set up something cool on NXT and then “fix” it on Raw.

Sheamus squashed Henry to remind us that he’s here.

New Day/Rusev beat the Dudleyz/Ziggler in a long match. This worked quite well and it’s still mainly due to Xavier Woods being allowed to do whatever he wants out there. The idea of letting an entertaining guy be entertaining is very foreign around here but this is what happens when it’s given a chance. I mean, BULGARIAN TRICEP MEAT? How can you not love that? The Ziggler vs. Rusev story has hit its peak and the problem now is what to do with them since Lana is out for months. You know, because a wrist injury makes it so hard to appear on TV.

Remember how Natalya was brought up for the first time in forever? Well she lost to Naomi thanks to a Sasha distraction. It does seem like she and Paige might hook up and I don’t know why I’d be interested in seeing another team story.

Big Show squashed Cesaro to build himself up for the Lesnar match. This is one of those rare cases where I completely understand the logic behind what WWE does and find it to be the dumbest idea in years. Do they really think that in NEW YORK CITY the fans are going to treat Lesnar vs. Big Show like a normal match? Having Lesnar squash Big Show (which he will) is fine but don’t waste someone with potential on the way. Use Swagger in this spot or something but stop using Cesaro to put over someone like Big Show who is 43 and has done the same stuff for years now.

John Cena beat Seth Rollins again to retain the US Title in a good match. I like seeing them fight because they have good chemistry, but enough already. We don’t need to see them fight once a month, especially when Cena beats the World Champ every time and never gets back in the World Title hunt. It’s pretty clear that Kane is getting the next shot, which makes these pinfalls all the less logical. Why have someone pin the champion and then never follow up on it? Ah yes, because you have Kane, who to be fair did start this story with Rollins months ago and deserves to be able to finish it. Just nix the champ losing all the time.

Demon Kane pulled Rollins through a hole in the ring because we’re really going there again.

Overall, Raw worked for the most part but there are some major flaws in there that are hard to cover up. Chief among them: having the World Champion get pinned twice by the same guy in 24 hours when there seems to be no intention of having that guy go after the title. Is it any wonder why no one wants to watch Rollins as champion? He’s a loser at this point and it takes a lot of work to get rid of that kind of stigma. The wrestling was good but a lot of the booking fell short.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – September 21, 2015: Running On Empty Again

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 21, 2015
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s the night after Night of Champions and it seems that we’re heading for Kane vs. Rollins for the World Title at Hell in a Cell. On the same show we’ll be seeing Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar for the last time in a match that was a potential Wrestlemania headliner. As for tonight, there’s also a chance we’ll see the return of the US Open Challenge as John Cena regained the US Title last night. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Wyatts instead of the traditional recap. Bray tried to warn Roman Reigns with words but he just didn’t speak loudly enough. Then he tried to warn Roman with actions but he just didn’t hit hard enough. Then last night he choked the golden idol by the throat and showed that he was right about everyone falling down.

Cue Reigns to say he wants to finish this with Bray, one on one, right now. This doesn’t even need to be a match because they can just have a fight. Harper and Strowman head to the floor and Bray is ready to fight. Reigns takes over with right hands and the corner clotheslines, followed by the Superman Punch.

This brings Strowman and Harper back in but Ambrose charges out, runs by Strowman in a smart move, and fights Harper. A pair of suicide dives have almost no effect on Braun but Reigns gets back up. Unfortunately so does Bray and the Wyatts’ numbers game takes over. This brings out Randy Orton to even things up and the combined forces of a bunch of right hands, a missile dropkick and the Superman Punch finally knock Strowman to the floor, though never off his feet. How nice was it to open with a fight and a return instead of a lot of talking that will only be repeated 95 times later in the night?

We recap Rollins’ two title defenses from last night, as well as Sheamus not being able to cash in due to masked Kane’s return.

Rollins comes in to the Authority’s office and finds a very perky Corporate Kane. The monster says he’s back and asks if Seth got the e-mail. The Authority isn’t here yet but Kane has arranged for Seth to have his rematch for the US Title tonight. This was the most entertaining Kane has been since HELL NO.

Lucha Dragons/Neville vs. Ascension/Stardust

Rematch from last night’s pre-show. Sin Cara and Konor starts with Cara slipping off the top on a springboard attempt. It was just a slip and not a horrible botch but it looked bad. After some stomps from the villains it’s time for a chinlock from Konor. Stardust comes in for a cartwheel, allowing the tag off to Neville. Viktor tries to break up a Red Arrow attempt like he did last night but Neville jumps over him, only to get Disaster kicked out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Neville in the wrong corner with Konor being launched at him for two. Off to the chinlockery for a bit before Stardust puts Neville into an inverted Gory Stretch of all things. Neville finally kicks Konor in the head and makes the tag off to Kalisto. Everything breaks down with Cara running back in for a suicide dive on Konor. Stardust gets dropkicked to the floor and the Salida Del Sol pins Viktor at 10:32.

Rating: C-. The botches really hurt things here and dragged down what could have been a fun six man tag. Sometimes things can get dicey when you try to move too fast. This could have been a lot worse but the Cara botch set the stage for the match. I’m not sure where the feud goes from here, but maybe they both add a fourth for some Survivor Series action.

The limping Rollins comes up to the Authority to ask what they’re thinking about reinstating Kane. They have no idea what he’s talking about, but apparently Kane was allowed to make Cena vs. Rollins again tonight.

Stills of Kevin Owens winning the Intercontinental Title last night.

Ryback vs. Bo Dallas

Owens comes out to do commentary. Bo congratulates Kevin on his win and is thrown across the ring by Ryback. Dallas gets shoved down and a suplex gets two. Cole asks about Owens raking Ryback’s eyes to win the title last night. Owens tells Cole not to believe everything he reads on the internet. Dallas comes back with a kick to the face and a chinlock but Ryback shrugs him off. The Meat Hook and Shell Shock put Dallas away at 3:40.

Rating: D. Just a plot device here and another good use of a jobber. I’m fine with Dallas losing because his character is the kind of person who can pop right back up with a single obnoxious promo. Owens vs. Ryback is a feud that has potential if they go somewhere, which hopefully seems to be a possibility.

Owens goes after Ryback post match but has to run away from a Shell Shock attempt.

Here’s Ric Flair to talk about how proud of a father he is. The fans start chanting THANK YOU RIC but Flair quickly thanks the fans to get this back on Charlotte. The proudest moment of his life wasn’t all his World Titles but rather last night when his daughter won her first Divas Championship. This brings out Team PCB to celebrate. Charlotte has to fight back tears because she’s a Flair.

She’s fought a long way to get here and gained two best friends on the way. Becky makes her laugh every day and Paige is the woman whose footsteps she followed in. Paige takes the mic and says that this is all because of her. Yeah Charlotte won the title last night but Paige won it on her first night. The first time Charlotte defends the title, the Bellas will win it back and everything goes back to normal.

There is no Divas Revolution because Becky is irrelevant, Charlotte is just a placeholder and Team Bad is all flash and no substance. Then you have Summer Rae and Lana who are trying to figure out who to climb on top of next. There’s Nattie, who doesn’t seem like she works here anymore.

Everyone knows why the Bellas are where they are (implying relationships with Cena and Bryan but not actually saying it because Nikki and Cena aren’t a thing outside of Total Divas). Paige says that Charlotte is where she is because of her old man and walks off. Cue the Bellas with Nikki saying that Charlotte is going to lose because she can’t handle the pressure of being Divas Champion. The Bellas really should have been saved for later because the turn didn’t get the chance to sink in but it still worked very well.

Brie Bella vs. Charlotte

Non-title. Brie starts fast with a middle rope dropkick and knocks the champ to the floor. The bad knee from last night gets sent into the steps and Charlotte is in early trouble. There’s a dragon screw leg whip followed by a leg lock as Becky plays cheerleader. A dropkick to the ribs gets two and a chop block puts Charlotte back down again. Off to a half crab for a bit until Charlotte comes up with an enziguri. The neckbreaker and spear set up the Figure Eight to make Brie tap at 6:24.

Rating: D+. Can someone explain the logic of having Charlotte on defense for about 90% of her title win and first match as champion? I mean, she’s considered awesome for her abilities on offense and athleticism so you have her on the mat holding her knee most of the time? Brie is the less talented Bella, which really should tell you most of what you need to know about this match.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Henry runs him over to start and it’s time for a breather on the floor. A clothesline does the same but Sheamus comes back with the ten forearms. Mark breaks it up at about six or seven but the Brogue Kick puts Mark away at 2:26.

Sheamus says it’s a matter of time until he’s World Champion.

The Authority comes in to see Kane. Instead of asking why they waited an hour to come talk to him, they ask why they didn’t hear from him since he got hurt. Kane brushes it off and says he wanted to make a big impact tonight by making Cena vs. Rollins for the US Title. Stephanie wants Kane to give it back and holds her hand out. Kane high fives her but Stephanie wants the mask. The mask is gone from its case and Kane accuses Stephanie of losing it. Kane is happy to help her look for it though and smiles a lot.

Natalya comes up to see Paige and says Paige isn’t the only one who has been frustrated. The only person standing in Paige’s way has been Paige herself.

New Day/Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler/Dudley Boyz

Before the match, Woods holds up a piece of table in a bag which was apparently removed from his……shall we say nether region. Kofi asks how many tables must be destroyed. Big E. suggests building a wall around Dudleyville to keep those Dudleys away from our people, our values, and our tables. Kofi and Ziggler get things going with Kingston grabbing a top wristlock. Kofi’s leapfrogs set up a monkey flip but Dolph lands on his feet.

Off to D-Von for a legdrop and right hands, followed by the belly to back neckbreaker on Big E. Rusev scampers to the floor and we take a break. We come back with Ziggler dropkicking Big E. but having to scare Woods off the apron, allowing E. to score with a clothesline. Rusev stomps away and it’s time for the rotating stomps, complete with trombone accompaniment.

Rusev comes in so Xavier plays Rusev’s theme music as we hit the chinlock on Ziggler. A back elbow to the jaw drops Ziggler (Woods: “BULGARIAN TRICEP MEAT! WHY DOES ZIGGLER HAVE ZIPPERS AND NO POCKETS???”) and Big E. comes in for an abdominal stretch. Kofi breaks up the hot tag attempt and dropkicks Kofi down for two. It’s back to Rusev for choking as he shouts that Lana is his.

The running DDT finally allows a diving tag to Bubba and everything breaks down. A big boot puts E. down and it’s off to Ray vs. Rusev. Well for all of five seconds as D-Von comes in for a double suplex, followed by Dolph playing D-Von in What’s Up. Ziggler superkicks the trombone out of Woods’ hands (thankfully Summer makes the catch) but turns into a superkick from Rusev for the pin at 14:12.

Rating: B-. Oh man Woods gets better every week. This is what I’ve been talking about with comedy in wrestling: you can tell that these guys have been told to go out there and do whatever they think is funny and they’re running with it. It’s a different style than what WWE decides is funny and it makes for something much more entertaining. The day that trombone (seriously, they got a trombone over. I can’t get past that.) gets broken, which better not be for at least another four months, is going to be glorious.

We recap Kane’s odd antics throughout the night.

Natalya vs. Naomi

Both girls flip up to their feet to start until Naomi kicks Natalya in the face for two. We hit an early chinlock as Paige is shown watching in the back. Back up and Natalya makes her comeback, including a discus lariat (Me: “JBL is going to say shades of her daddy.” JBL: “SHADES OF HER DADDY!”) but a Sasha distraction lets the Rear View end Natalya at 3:46.

Rating: D. I’m so glad we got Natalya back for this mess. There’s a chance this leads to her teaming with Paige under their common issue of being held back. It’s worked for less talented people before so why not these two also. The match was nothing special but it’s cool to see at least one team sticking around.

Rollins asks the Authority about the plan for tonight. HHH gets all serious and tells Seth to worry about Cena because they’ll take care of Kane. This has been another moment where HHH’s emotions change on a dime and it’s considered totally normal.

Cesaro vs. Big Show

Rematch from Smackdown which isn’t important enough to mention. Cesaro gets chopped out of the air to start and runs him over with a shoulder. Show launches him across the ring as this is a total squash so far. The Final Cut sets up a chinlock until Show misses an elbow. Cesaro starts his comeback and breaks up the chokeslam. Show is knocked to the floor for a European uppercut, only to catch Cesaro’s cross body off the announcers’ table and drive Cesaro into the post. Back inside and Cesaro suplexes Show from the apron back inside, only to have Show KO Cesaro for the pin at 6:30.

Rating: D. I know WWE says they’re making movies. This must be where they show the trailers over and over again (because this is the same ending as the Smackdown match) and then expect us to see a movie where we know the ending because it’s a sequel to the wreck of last year’s Royal Rumble and EVERY MATCH THESE SHOW AND LESNAR HAVE HAD IN LIKE TEN YEARS. Of course there was no one in the back that you could have take this loss instead of Cesaro too. No one. Not Swagger or anyone, who is even more like Lesnar than Cesaro. Typical WWE.

Post match Show says he’s going to knock Lesnar out and pin him like he did in 2002. For some reason this takes like three minutes.

We recap the Wyatt Family/Orton/Ambrose/Reigns segment from earlier.

Harper says he hears Bray’s voice in his head. Bray taught him to learn from his mistakes but Orton never learned that lesson. Strowman talks about skinning a snake and drinking its blood. Bray says Randy will fall like everyone else. It’s amazing how much better this team is when Bray isn’t losing every other week.

US Title: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Cena is defending. Rollins jumps the champ during the intros and gets an early two. Some right hands have Cena in trouble. Like, way more trouble than a sneak attack and some right hands should have him in. The Pedigree is countered and an enziguri gets two. Cena comes back with that big clothesline that he uses when he needs to make a comeback but the announcers are too busy talking about the Kane story to notice. Seth escapes the AA and scores with a DDT for two.

Back with Seth putting on a chinlock, followed by a shot to Cena’s face. Cena comes back with the usual but Rollins bails to the floor after the Shuffle. John throws him back in but a superplex is broken up, allowing Rollins to get two off a low superkick. We hit the STF on Cena but he muscles his way up for the counter.

The Pedigree is countered with a catapult into the corner and Cena pulls him off the middle rope with an electric chair. They counter finisher attempts until the Buckle Bomb sets up a Falcon’s Arrow for two on Cena. Cena grabs a quick STF but Rollins grabs a rope even faster. A Five Star Frog Splash gets two on Cena but he rolls through into the AA for the pin to retain at 15:38.

Rating: B. I would have had a lot more fun with this match if I hadn’t seen it a day ago. Also if there was any sort of a chance that Cena was going to lose. Thirdly, was it really necessary to have the World Champion lose a second match clean in two days? I know it’s Cena, but stop having that happen. Now let’s get to the obvious Demon Kane moment.

Post match Corporate Kane pops up on screen and says everyone is coming for the title. People Rollins wouldn’t even imagine. Like the people from his worst nightmares. Cue the demon Kane through a hole in the ring to drag Seth under. Yes they’re REALLY doing this again.

Overall Rating: C+. This show started off with so much promise and then, as is way too often the case, it died about halfway through. Raw runs out of steam way too often these days and it really is just because of that third hour. The night after a pay per view is really rough because you’re looking at six hours of TV in just over a day. It’s too much and drains way too much out of the fans when they’re asked to watch it. The first hour carries this show, but they need to find a way to make this three hour work, because the fans are going to go away more and more with this much TV time to sit through.

Results

Neville/Lucha Dragons b. Ascension/Stardust – Salida Del Sol to Viktor

Ryback b. Bo Dallas – Shell Shock

Charlotte b. Brie Bella – Figure Eight

Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Brogue Kick

New Day/Rusev b. Dolph Ziggler/Dudley Boyz – Superkick to Ziggler

Naomi b. Natalya – Rear View

Big Show b. Cesaro – KO Punch

John Cena b. Seth Rollins – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Raw Ratings Aren’t Great And It Shouldn’t Be A Surprise

http://www.f4wonline.com/more/more-top-stories/96-wwe-news/44533-raw-ratings-still-at-low-levels

I’m surprised Raw did as well as it did.  Here’s why.

The decline in ratings really isn’t surprising for a few major reasons.

1. Monday Night Football. Raw in the Attitude Era didn’t come close to Monday Night Football’s numbers and that’s never going to change. Monday Night Football is a juggernaut and always will be. There’s no way to get around this.

2. The Network. Raw is made available a month later. If I wanted to, I could watch every episode of Raw leading up to a pay per view and skip over the parts I don’t want to see. It’s quick, it’s easy, and WWE hypes the heck out of the Network every chance they can.

3. Did you know WWE.com does it’s own live Raw results? As in they say what’s going on during the show, making it easy to get a quick recap instead of watching the full show? This is in addition to the dozens of other sites that do the same.

4. It’s three hours a week. That’s WAY too much for most people and it’s overload. Consider Summerslam weekend. You had Takeover running two and a half hours plus a half hour pre-show, you had a four hour Summerslam plus a one hour pre-show, and then you had Raw, which was three hours plus a half hour pre-show. That’s eleven and a half hours of content in three days. Two shows are pay per views and one is fallout. Which are you most likely to cut out from your schedule?

5. As for last night, it’s hard to blame this on Sting. Yeah he was the main event, and we knew that a total of two and a half hours in advance. Instead the advertised matches featured Nikki Bella (with her crossover appeal from Total Divas of course, which has about a million viewers a week, a good percentage of which are probably already watching Raw) and the Prime Time Players, the latter of which was a title match with the winners getting to face the Dudleyz. Sting was announced as a last minute match and if you weren’t watching the show at some point, you didn’t know about it.

6. A lot of people don’t watch cable TV anymore, and why should they? With Netflix, Hulu and the WWE Network, there’s a ton of good material out there for way cheaper. For the people who still do have cable, there are roughly 1.38457 million channels to pick from these days. Couple that with DVR and people watching parts of the shows and the ratings shrinking really isn’t a big surprise.

I know they’re still the most common means of examining how well a show did, but is there a reason we’re still using the same measuring stick for the show that we used seventeen years ago? A lot has changed since then and of course there are going to be fewer people watching the same show. I’m stunned that it’s still as high as it is.

Oh and despite the ratings: the stock is at about $19 a share, or $4 higher than it was a year ago at this time. There might be something more to the company’s success than just the TV ratings, but again that’s all most people seem to care about.




Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: September 7, 2015

Alas it’s a holiday show and that means they’re really not going to be putting in much effort. I get the idea behind it, but it gets really tiring watching them out there on a show that means nothing and clearly just filling in time before next week’s special episode where for some reason they try to fight off a Monday Night Football doubleheader instead of having a nothing show that night and then doing a major show after Night of Champions and starting the build from there. Then again, when has WWE ever done something that makes sense? Let’s get to it.

Rollins opened the show with his weekly address where he talks to the fans like they’ve never seen an episode of Raw before by recapping his entire title reign. I’m always of the mindset that each episode is someone’s first time watching, but recapping the fact that you beat Brock Lesnar really doesn’t mean anything when you’re fighting Sting and John Cena while Lesnar is nowhere in sight. It’s recapping for the sake of filling in time and for the sake of WWE thinking its fans are stupid which gets old fast.

This brought him to Sting and the statue, which needs to get destroyed already and be done with it. Sting had the statue with him in front of a dark background, which is certainly just a corner of the arena somewhere and not in front of something that will be a big surprise later on.

Sheamus came out as well to tease the Money in the Bank cash-in at Night of Champions because it’s the fall and therefore time to start teasing the cash-in like they do EVERY SINGLE YEAR BECAUSE THAT’S THE STORY THEY CAME UP WITH AND IT HAS TO BE THE SAME STUPID THING EVERY TIME SINCE WE JUST HAVE TO HAVE THAT STUPID BRIEFCASE FLOATING AROUND ALL THE FREAKING TIME! Just cash it in, let Sheamus lose or have a month long title reign and be done with it already so we can have a break before the whole thing starts over again in July.

After a break, Rollins came in to see Mama and Papa Helmsley, who have the whole thing covered because Seth can’t handle an old man without them. Of course no one ever says “hey, let’s go find the cameraman and ask him where he was. Like, there has to be a cable leading to his camera somewhere right?” That’s heresy in WWE though, because we need to praise HHH and Stephanie in their cameo while they’re not really in the arena because not even they watch Raw on Labor Day. Rollins gets two wrestle twice tonight because the Authority treats like like a child.

Paige and Sasha had their same decent match that ended with Naomi distracting Paige so Sasha could get a small package pin. I think this leads to a Paige heel turn, which could be interesting once we get done with the never ending team feuds.

Now we get to the part of the show that actually got on my nerves, which almost never happens: Ambrose and Reigns squashed the Ascension, who had been put together with Stardust in a group on Smackdown. However, since the people who put Raw together don’t seem to watch Smackdown, none of that mattered because Reigns and Ambrose needed opponents for a squash.

I have no problem with Ambrose and Reigns beating someone up, but if they’re trying to do something with Ascension, don’t put them out there to get squashed. You could put any two goofs out there and have them lose in three minutes. You have how many people who haven’t done anything important in months (Heath Slater, Curtis Axel, Damien Sandow, Adam Rose, Fandango etc) but why use any of them?

Instead you put out a team that needs to be rebuilt in the worst way after WWE screwed them up in the first place by having Booker and JBL treat them like idiots and then having the Outlaws and APA, two mostly retired teams, attack them for a nostalgia segment. I’ve said this many times before, but WWE has no idea how to use its roster. They focus on a handful of people and forget everyone else. Put up a big board of everyone on your roster and label it “PEOPLE WE CAN USE” or something, but stop wasting a team that could go somewhere for a spot that any two jobbers could use.

Oh and again, this is what NXT fans are always afraid of: why bother bringing people up if they’re going to be completely wasted for the sake of whatever stupid idea the main show has for them? What does that develop and how is it a good use of the system they have in place? It’s because the people who put together the main show can’t stop and pay attention for five seconds, because the match was less than three minutes long. Any two warm bodies could have done this job as well as Konor/Viktor, but that’s who we get and we’re just supposed to go with it on Smackdown when they’re featured again. Thank you WWE.

Ryback and Owens continue to stare at each other and their feud (is it even a feud yet? Don’t you have to do more than look at and insult each other to constitute a feud?) is still intriguing.

We get a long recap of Ziggler/Summer/Lana and it’s so cheesy that it’s getting awesome. Embrace the fact that it’s a soap opera and it’s a lot easier to bear.

Ryback beat Rollins in the first long match of the night. I still really like Ryback at the moment and it’s cool to see him get a big win, even if it was due to a Sting distraction. They’re building a good Intercontinental Champion with Ryback, and above all else there’s one key: he’s treating the title like it matters. Couple that with actually defending the thing and he’s one of the better champions in a long time.

Rollins (who I’m sick of from this show alone) runs into New Day, who he’s teaming with later. The Dudleyz come in, as do Edge and Christian for a cameo. This turns into the trombone vs. the kazoo, which are both totally awesome. This was great.

Summer Rae/Rusev/Ziggler did some stuff, with only Summer referring to Rusev as Ru Ru being noteworthy.

Orton, Sheamus, RKO, sixteen minutes. I need to get away from this match before I nod off.

The Wyatts beat up Orton for hanging out with Reigns/Ambrose earlier. I like this idea the more I think about it and they’re setting the stage for an outsider to be there to save the Shield boys.

The Dudleyz squashed Los Matadores so they could turn on El Torito. Didn’t they do this before and nothing came of it?

Big Show caused Miz vs. Cesaro to go to a double countout. I guess they’re just swapping Cesaro for Ryback in this feud? That’s their best idea?

The Bellas and PCB had your standard build to next week’s title match where Nikki tapped to the Figure Eight.

John Cena, with the Prime Time Players, beat New Day. This was nothing special and was really just there to fill in some time.

Sting threw the statue into a garbage truck to end the show. He did a little dance around it, which was actually cool because I’ve always loved how Sting moves. It’s different enough from everyone else to make it look cool.

This show wasn’t the worst they’ve ever done but there was a distinct lack of energy to the show all night. The only major thing was the destruction of the statue, which we’ve been waiting weeks for now. It was clear that they were trying to fill in time though, which has to happen every week but it’s a lot harder to sit through when they’re being so blatant with it. The “season premiere” next week should be better, but a bit of energy is all it would take.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – September 3, 2015: I Approve Of These Developments

Smackdown
Date: September 3, 2015
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Jerry Lawler, Jimmy Uso

This seems like it’s going to be another midcard heavy episode as the main event players, save for the champion, who is arguably the lowest of the three people involved in the story, who is known to slum it here on Smackdown. The only major event announced is Lana and Dolph Ziggler appearing on MizTV. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s New Day to continue their SAVE THE TABLES campaign. Woods: “A table is a terrible thing to waste.” Kofi calls tables the backbone of human achievement and thinks we wouldn’t be here without hard working tables. The pilgrims and Indians had the first Thanksgiving at a table. The Declaration of Independence was written on a table. Walter Cronkite announced the moon landing while sitting at a table. Above all that though: New Day signed their WWE contracts at a table. Kofi: “I remember that!”

The Dudleyz don’t respect tables but we can all change that. A Save-The-Tables clap starts up but here are the Dudleyz to interrupt. We see a clip of Woods going through a table and Bubba says history is going to repeat itself. This brings out the Prime Time Players who say the Dudleyz have to earn their keep. You mean like by beating the champs a few days ago? Bubba says they’re here to put people through tables and win championships. Titus has two tickets to send them back to Dudleyville and it’s time for a match.

Dudley Boyz vs. Prime Time Players

New Day is on commentary and Woods wants to know why Titus wants to send the Dudleyz back to where they live. That’s not a great gift. D-Von slams Young down and hits that twisting elbow to the jaw of his. A lot of trash is talked and it’s time for a break. Back with Big E. doing his reporter voice as it’s off to Bubba vs. Young. Woods only sees half of Bubba due to all the camouflage and calls the Dudleyz table poachers. Soon New Day will have heavy heads because they’ll be wearing the crown that makes them the greatest of all time.

The reverse 3D gets two on Young but he enziguris Bubba for a breather. New Day starts a SAVE THE TABLES dance as Titus comes in off the hot tag. Titus cleans house as Woods describes him as a German Sheppard that ate too many stale potato chips. Bubba elbows O’Neil in the jaw and it’s 3D for the pin at 9:07.

Rating: C. New Day continues to be one of the most entertaining things WWE has come up with in years. The key thing to their comedy: it’s clearly not scripted. It’s obviously the three of them just riffing on what they’re seeing and having fun with it, which makes the whole thing that much funnier. The match itself was fine too as the story is simple yet effective. That’s often better than something in depth where things get too bogged down by ideas.

Kofi slaps D-Von in the back of the head as New Day leaves.

Post break it’s time for a New Day trombone dance party, but Renee Young tells them they’re facing Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose tonight. Woods immediately plays a sad note on the trombone.

Stardust vs. Neville

No match as the Ascension of all people jump Neville during his entrance. Stardust says Neville is flying too close to the sun and the Ascension are the new conniving cohorts. The Fall of Man leaves Neville laying. Welcome to the Cosmic Wasteland. I heartily approve of this development.

Cesaro is talking about his match with Sheamus tonight when Sheamus interrupts. Tonight, Cesaro will be good but not good enough, just like always as he disappoints the Cesaro section one more time. Cesaro’s big comeback: Sheamus does look stupid up close.

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Cesaro has taped up ribs from going into the announcers’ table on Monday. Sheamus bails to the floor to start and tells the fans that he doesn’t look stupid. It’s quickly back inside with Cesaro clotheslining him down and MESSING WITH THE MOHAWK. A suplex drops Sheamus with the ribs having no sign of injury whatsoever. Sheamus sends him hard into the corner though and the ribs are suddenly in agony as we go to a break. Back with Sheamus cranking on a chinlock with a knee in Cesaro’s back.

They slug it out from their knees and Cesaro takes over with European uppercuts. A dropkick knocks Sheamus off the top and out to the floor as Lawler isn’t sure how the ribs are holding up. Cesaro’s big running European uppercut knocks Sheamus into the barricade and Cesaro gets two off a high cross body. So much for the selling. The Irish Curse sets up the Cloverleaf but Cesaro is out before it can go on full. The Crossface is countered by elbows to the ribs and it’s a Brogue Kick to give Sheamus the pin at 10:36.

Rating: C+. This was a hard one to grade as they beat each other up for a long time but the ribs weren’t used for most of the match. The injury played into the ending though and that’s a plus, but Cesaro casually hitting a high cross body for two and then just putting a hand on the ribs isn’t enough for me. That being said, Sheamus is right: Cesaro comes up short again and it’s been old for a long time.

It’s time for MizTV. This past Monday, Raw turned into Days of Our Lives with everything happening between Ziggler, Lana and Summer Rae. Oh and Rusev is in there too somewhere. We get a long recap package, meaning we see almost the entire thing. Miz’s first guest tonight is Summer Rae, complete with her CALL TO ME CALL TO ME song. That’s going to be stuck in my head all day now.

Summer calls Monday unfortunate but admits that there’s more to the story. Monday night, Dolph kissed her. Miz: “HE KISSED YOU???” It quickly turned from passion to guilt because she already has the most amazing man in the world. This brings out Dolph and Lana with Ziggler making fun of Miz despite things being kind of serious.

Summer accuses Dolph of having something going on with her for months now and we see a clip of Summer kissing Dolph in June 2014, though it seemed to be more to tick off Fandango. Yeah remember Fandango? WWE doesn’t either. Summer says they’ve been together at hotels as recently as last week and Lana goes after her. Lana storms off and Summer shouts that she can’t handle the truth.

Bo Dallas vs. R-Truth

Dallas takes him into the corner and slams Truth down before driving knees into the head. Off to some chinlockery but Truth fights up and gets two off a side kick. That goes nowhere as Dallas drapes Truth’s feet over the top rope and twist him down with a suplex spinning neckbreaker for the pin at 2:37.

Bo gives him another one post match and takes a victory lap.

We look back at Monday’s Beat the Clock Challenge with Charlotte getting the Divas Title shot at Night of Champions.

Charlotte praises her teammates when the Bellas come up so Nikki can brag about the record. If there isn’t at least a title defense before that night, this is going to reach an even lower level of stupid. Thankfully Charlotte says she’s petitioned the Authority to have their match before the record is broken. If that is approved, the whole record comes crashing down. Tick tock Nikki.

Tamina vs. Charlotte

Tamina shoves Charlotte down to start but gets WOOed for her efforts. A test of strength goes nowhere so Tamina takes her head off with a clothesline for two. Charlotte comes back by kicking her in the face and a spear, followed by Natural Selection for the pin at 3:18.

Rating: D+. The match was just there to give Charlotte more momentum, but the idea of the title match taking place before the record could be the most interesting thing to happen to this division in a long time. That is, assuming they take the title off Nikki. Of course it would also make the first month of the Divas Revolution a total waste of time because the title was never mentioned, but did I mention how awesome Stephanie’s introduction of it was? That makes up for the whole thing.

Team Bella comes out to pose.

Long recap of the Cena/Rollins/Sting issues from Monday.

Kevin Owens brags about beating Cesaro twice in a row to silence the Cesaro Section. That brings him to the next people he wants to be quiet: the people who are critical of his weight. He isn’t going to change his diet though. Instead, feed him more. That’s about as good of an idea as there is for him right now.

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. New Day

Big E. and Kofi here and this is non-title. Ambrose and Kingston get things going with Kofi actually punching him into the New Day corner. Woods wants us to pay attention to the educated fists of one Big E. Reigns comes in for half of a double suplex on Big E. for two but gets sent down into the corner as well. It’s time for some trombone playing, followed by a quickly broken chinlock. E. splashes him in the corner but eats a big clothesline, allowing the tag off to Ambrose.

Dean cleans house and feeds Kofi in to Reigns for a clothesline. New Day is knocked outside and Dean dives onto all three as we take a break. Back with Kofi kicking Dean in the chest and slapping on another chinlock. Woods: “I HAVE A TROMBONE!” The Big E. splash gets two but Dean avoids a charge in the corner. He blocks Big E.’s belly to belly superplex and hits a nice missile dropkick. The nip up doesn’t work so well though in an unintentionally funny moment.

Reigns comes in to clean house and Jimmy is way too excited. Woods’ distraction lets Kofi grab a rollup for two, earning him a big powerbomb for the same. Dean sends E. into the barricade as Kofi springboards into the Superman Punch, drawing in Xavier for the DQ at 12:07.

Rating: C+. This was fine and the ending is a lot better than having the Dudleyz beat them clean on Monday. New Day gets to hold up the titles and swear that Kofi was going to kick out while everyone knows they’re lying. It’s a simple formula, but unfortunately WWE doesn’t know how to keep that formula from getting repetitive. I really like New Day moving up the ladder like this though as they’re definitely more than just another tag team. I mean, can you imagine the Prime Time Players in this role? It only works with the right kind of act, like New Day.

New Day gets their clocks cleaned (you never want a dirty clock) but Dean wants more. He wants another shot at Strowman and the Wyatt Family RIGHT NOW. Bray pops up on screen and says let’s do this at Night of Champions. Can you hear the footsteps of the apocalypse walking among them in the form of a black sheep? Run.

Overall Rating: C. Totally acceptable show here with the wrestling being fine, but above all else we actually got some storyline development for a change. Now granted it would be better if we had some major matches here instead of just the announcement of such matches, but I’ll take what I can get where I can get it. Not a bad show here and that’s more than you can say about Smackdown most of the time.

Results

Dudley Boyz b. Prime Time Players – 3D to O’Neil

Sheamus b. Cesaro – Brogue Kick

Bo Dallas b. R-Truth – Draping suplex neckbreaker

Charlotte b. Tamina – Natural Selection

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. New Day when Xavier Woods interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw – August 31, 2015: Male Cheerleaders And The Periodic Table

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 31, 2015
Location: Amalie Arena, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

Last week saw the return of Sting and the disappearance of a statue, meaning tonight is likely to continue the time honored tradition of destroying that statue once and for all. Sting vs. Seth Rollins for the WWE World Title is confirmed for Night of Champions, but what about Rollins’ US Title? John Cena is still lurking so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s closing segment where Sting appeared in the statue’s place. HHH made the match after the show went off the air.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Sting (with complete face paint this week) to open things up. JBL: “The man who put Starrcade on the map!” Just….no. Under no circumstances can that be considered correct. Sting hasn’t been around much since Wrestlemania where he lost to HHH. Due to that match, he’ll always have respect for HHH, but now his sights are set on Seth Rollins.

Ever since Wrestlemania it has been injustice after injustice and last week he had to hear Seth Rollins comparing himself to names like Bruno Sammartino, Andre the Giant and the Ultimate Warrior. Sting has won titles around the world but there is one that has eluded him throughout his career. At Night of Champions, Sting is going to prove that Rollins isn’t half the man HHH is and that Rollins can’t hang with Sting on his best day.

Rollins is upset but Stephanie talks him down. Seth lists his accomplishments this year and calls everything Sting said wrong. Stephanie brings up Sting’s comparison to HHH and thinks Sting is absolutely right. Seth wants his statue so Stephanie suggests he go ask Sting.

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

An attempt at a single leg doesn’t get Dolph anywhere so he dropkicks Rusev in the face instead. Back in and Rusev slowly stomps Ziggler down, as is his custom. We get a dueling Rusev chant, followed by Dolph missing a splash in the corner. The sleeper slows Rusev down a bit so he backs Ziggler into the corner for a break. Ziggler gets knocked into the barricade and we take a break.

Back with Rusev throwing on a bearhug, which really should have been put on during the break. Rusev misses a charge of his own but easily breaks up a neckbreaker with a suplex. A running flip backsplash gets two more and Ziggler is in trouble. The spinwheel kick gets the same for Rusev but he walks into a superkick out of nowhere.

They head outside with Rusev charging into the steps but both guys dive in to beat the count at nine. Rusev superkicks him down as well because everyone has to use superkicks in this company. Ziggler sneaks out of the Accolade and a quick Zig Zag drops Rusev, only to have Summer come in for the DQ at 14:21.

Rating: D+. This was more long than it was good and again they’re setting up the mixed tag. Why we needed to see another match between the two of them to set up the obvious match is beyond me, but at least they didn’t have a clean finish. Lana is going to be awesome in the ring, mainly because she’s awesome at everything else so why would this be any different?

A catfight ensues until Ziggler pulls them apart.

Post break Ziggler brags about what just happened. He goes into a room as Renee talks a bit and we see Summer sneak in behind him.

It’s time for the Beat the Clock Challenge for the #1 contendership to the Divas Title, but Team Bella has something to say. Nikki is so proud of making it this far, but we’ve got a Bellatron counting us down to the second she breaks the record.

Alicia Fox vs. Becky Lynch

This is the first match in a Beat the Clock Challenge, meaning whoever wins in the shortest time wins, earning a title shot, presumably at Night of Champions. Becky tries for some fast rollups to start but she gets a bit sloppy and Fox takes over. A chinlock slows things down even more and you can see Becky panicking over the time being spent. Back up and some clotheslines get two for Lynch, followed by a springboard kick in the corner. They hit the mat and Becky grabs Disarm-Her for the win at 3:21.

Rating: D. This is the other issue with the Divas Revolution: the newcomers got over having these epic 10-15 minute wars but now they’re stuck with the three minute matches that have plagued the division for years. For once, this isn’t on them because there’s very little they can do in so little time and that’s not going to change.

Ryback talks about defending his title against everyone and tonight the Big Show will be no different. As he’s talking, we hear someone scream and see Summer Rae running out of Ziggler’s locker room. Ziggler is in a towel and looks surprised.

Intercontinental Title: Big Show vs. Ryback

Big Show is challenging, Miz is on commentary and we get big match intros. Show takes him into the corner for the loud chop to start and slowly drops an elbow for a close two. With Ryback down, Show demands a microphone so he can address the PLEASE RETIRE chants. He says find someone to do it so Ryback picks him up for a slam, only to have Show fall on him for two more. Show hits the chinlock for a few moments but Ryback fights up and hits a good looking flying tackle.

The splash is caught by the throat though, only have Ryback slip out and hook a double leg takedown (no that wasn’t a spinebuster) for a near fall of his own. The Meathook is countered into the chokeslam for two but Show goes up. Since we’re in Flair Country, the slam off the top is very appropriate. Another Meathook attempt is countered with a spear but Miz gets up for a distraction, allowing Ryback to grab Shell Shock to retain at 7:14.

Rating: C. They had me worried that they were going to change the title here in what would have been one of the dumbest ideas in a long time. I’m sure we’ll get Miz vs. Ryback now, even though Ryback beat him in two minutes a few weeks back. Ryback is the best Intercontinental Champion in a long time and it’s nice to see the title meaning something.

Charlotte vs. Brie Bella

Charlotte’s time to beat is 3:21 because only PCB can win. Brie starts hiding in the ropes to start because she must “protect the Bella Empire.” A Figure Eight attempt doesn’t work and Charlotte has less than two minutes to go. Instead Natural Selection hits out of nowhere for the pin at 1:40 to set Charlotte’s time.

We look at the Dudleyz returning last week.

The Dudleyz say they’re back for one more title reign because it would make then ten time Tag Team Champions. Tonight: New Day goes through a table.

Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens

Owens talks trash to start (shocking I know) and gets shoved down to the mat. A big boot stops Owens cold and Cesaro casually lifts him up for a suplex, complete with right hands to the gut. Cesaro gets two off a double stomp and it’s time for Owens to bail to the floor. That’s fine with Cesaro, who follows him out with a running European uppercut.

A high cross body gets two for Cesaro but Owens comes back with an elbow to the jaw and a backsplash. Owens: “WHERE’S YOUR SECTION NOW???” A corner clothesline sets up the Cannonball and we hit the chinlock on Cesaro. That goes nowhere so Owens busts out the torture rack neckbreaker for two instead and we take a break.

Back with Cesaro failing to superplex Owens so he dropkicks Kevin in the face and gutwrench superplexes him instead. That reverse Angle Slam gets two for Cesaro but Owens superkicks him for the same. Owens tells Cole to watch but misses another Cannonball.

Instead of doing something smart though, Kevin slaps him in the face. In a scary power display, Cesaro catches a tornado DDT in mid air and slams Owens down into a Crossface. Like, how do you even do that? Cesaro can’t suplex him over the top and Owens knocks him HARD into the announcers’ table. Back in and Cesaro can’t Swing him because of the ribs, allowing the Pop Up Powerbomb to put Cesaro away at 16:10.

Rating: B. I liked this better than the Summerslam match as Owens beat him clear after setting up an injury right before the ending. Cesaro took a great looking bump onto the table and Owens has won his last three singles matches. It’s very nice to see him not jobbing every single week for a change and I’d love to see him go after Ryback and the Intercontinental Title next.

Ziggler tries to explain that he thought Summer was Lana. Nothing happened and he threw on a towel as soon as he knew who it was. Lana doesn’t buy it and leaves.

Dean Ambrose vs. Braun Strowman

The fireflies still look awesome. Bray thanks Abigail for giving him the black sheep as her greatest gift. For thousands of years, mankind has tried to predict the end of the world. Tonight the seventh trumpet sounds and they will walk among you undisguised. Stroman, in a voice that Christian Bale would think is too over the top, says this is the apocalypse. Reigns comes out as backup as you would expect.

Strowman throws Dean around with one hand to start and I think the message has been sent. Dean gets in his fast striking but Stroman just throws him down again. A kick knocks Dean to the floor and the slow beating continues. Reigns finally comes over for the DQ at 3:09.

Rating: D+. Nothing to the match here but it did exactly what it was supposed to. Stroman looks like the best monster that we’ve had in a long time and that’s all he’s supposed to look like. Eventually someone is going to beat him, but until then it’s going to be fun watching him be the modern day Zeus or whatever other monster you pick. It’s an old formula that keeps coming back because it works.

Stroman cleans house and no sells a chair to the back. Reigns’ right hand has a bit more effect but Harper comes in with the superkick to put Roman down. Dean gets choked out and Reigns takes that spinning powerbomb thing. Bray comes in for Sister Abigail to Reigns. Notice that Bray didn’t have to do a thing here, which is exactly why he needs minions.

We look at Rollins beating Cena at Summerslam.

Clip of Sting’s opening promo.

Rollins wants his statue back and tells Sting to stay out of his business. Maybe if Sting had a subscription to the WWE Network, he could know how great Seth has been. Yeah HHH used to be a big deal, but HHH never held the US and WWE World Titles at the same time.

Paige vs. Sasha Banks

Paige has to beat 1:40 so she starts very fast and gets some rollups for two each. The fans are split as Paige fires off some running knees for two. The Rampaige connects but Tamina and Naomi pull Sasha to the floor as the clock runs out at 1:40.

Team Bella comes out to pose.

Summer Rae says that Ziggler called her into his locker room but then he just started stripping. She was mesmerized and speechless and then he asked her to join him in the shower. After he got out, he gave Summer the look but she ran out. Summer will never forget the image though.

Lana is crying and can’t say anything.

New Day vs. Dudley Boyz

Non-title. Woods calls the Dudleyz a menace to culture, society and furniture around the world. Big E. asks if you remember the times sitting around the table with your granny and that weird uncle around the Thanksgiving table. Or all that money you cleaned up at the poker table. Or all those summers around the pool table. And where would we be without the Periodic Table? Remember all the fun you had learning your multiplication table? Big E. and Kofi pull out what Woods calls the last table (covered in bubble wrap) here tonight. A SAVE THE TABLES chant takes us to a break before the match.

The Prime Time Players are on commentary as Big E. and D-Von get things going. But it’s quickly off to Bubba vs. Kofi. Woods suggests clapping but Bubba turns it into NEW DAY SUCKS. A clothesline under the arm stops Kofi cold and New Day is sent out to the floor as we take a break. Back with D-Von clotheslining both champions down but Woods low bridges him to the floor. As Woods brushes his hair, Big E. drives D-Von into the barricade. That sounds like a valid reason to dance to me and Big E. agrees.

The rotating stomps set up Big E.’s splash for two. An abdominal stretch slows things down and Kofi’s chinlock does the same. Woods mocks the TABLES chant but Kofi dives into a clothesline, allowing for the tag off to Bubba. Bubba hiptosses Woods in but D-Von hiptosses him right back out in a funny spot. 3D quickly ends Kofi, which JBL calls the Dudleyz’ first match in WWE in ten years. Even he doesn’t watch Smackdown.

Rating: C. I liked the match but the booking makes my head hurt. You have three members of New Day and two of them are the recognized Tag Team Champions. I think you get what I’m going for here. It’s very interesting that the Dudleyz have been doing the same thing for about ten years now and it’s still more entertaining than 90% of most tag teams.

Here’s Seth Rollins to call out Sting. The things Sting said earlier tonight showed him why WCW went out of business. We can’t possibly be talking about that again…..right? Rollins wants Sting to take back what he said about HHH being that much better than him because Seth is every bit as good as HHH and one day could even be better. However, Rollins wants his status but gets Stephanie instead.

She suggests the Rollins chill out because Sting is getting in his head over a stupid statue. Rollins still wants his statue but this time gets John Cena. John talks about the Authority bending Rollins to their will because that’s what they do. They picked Rollins because he was the only one willing to stab the Shield in the back. Rollins is going to be the flavor of the month because the Authority would never allow him to do what he’s about to do right now.

Rollins has a lot of titles right now and since the Authority said every title is on the line at Night of Champions, Cena is cashing in his rematch for the US Title on the same night Rollins has to defend against Sting. Cena asks Stephanie if he can do that and she reluctantly agrees. Sting comes out to pose with Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was one of the best shows they’ve had in a very long time. It kept moving all night and they didn’t have anything out there that took too long. There’s enough stuff going on here to find something interesting and nothing was really bad. Well maybe the opening match but at least it led somewhere. I had a really good time with this show and it flew by, which is a rare thing for Raw.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Rusev via DQ when Summer Rae interfered

Becky Lynch b. Alicia Fox – Disarm-Her

Ryback b. Big Show – Shell Shock

Charlotte b. Brie Bella – Natural Selection

Cesaro b. Kevin Owens – Pop Up Powerbomb

Braun Stroman b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Roman Reigns interfered

Paige vs. Sasha Banks went to a time limit draw

Dudley Boyz b. New Day – 3D to Kingston

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Smackdown – August 27, 2015: The Dog Days Of Smackdown

Smackdown
Date: August 27, 2015
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jimmy Uso, Rich Brennan

It’s hard to say what’s going to happen tonight as the big story coming out of Raw is the return of Sting, who I can’t imagine is going to be here tonight. There’s always a chance of some fresh Wyatt Family stuff, as this show has become the main ground for the Shield vs. Wyatts feud, which isn’t the worst thing in the world. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with a clip of the Dudley Boyz returning on Monday.

Here are the Wyatts with something to say. Shocking I know. Harper talks about our eyes and ears being shut by the lies we’ve been told. We’re all dead and we don’t even know it but Bray Wyatt’s truth will give us new life. Bray says he doesn’t just throw out words like brother because family means everything to him. Sister Abigail has given him so much in this life and just when he thought he had nothing left, she provided him a savior. That’s what being a family is all about. Abigail’s eyes light up when she talks about Braun Strowman and now it is time.

Cue Reigns and Ambrose with the former saying it is what it is. That wasn’t the first time they’ve been whipped so if he and Dean are going down, they’re going down swinging. Ambrose: “I’ll take the ugly one.” There are always points in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles line, intentional or not. Strowman is ready to go but Bray calls his men off and leaves.

Ascension vs. Dudley Boyz

Bubba takes Konor into the corner to start and asks if he knows who they are. D-Von comes in and runs Konor over but gets kicked down into the corner. It’s quickly back to Bubba for the Flip Flop and Fly, followed by What’s Up. Bubba calls for the tables but Konor breaks it up. The attempt, not the table. Back in and Ascension gets in a little offense, including a jumping knee to Bubba’s face. Not that it matters as a quick clothesline allows the hot tag to D-Von for some house cleaning. Bubba comes back in off a blind tag and 3D ends Konor at 5:10.

Rating: C-. This was fine and just a way for the Dudleys to show that they’re back. There’s nothing wrong with running through your old standards before they come back with the bigger stuff later on, especially considering they’re probably going to get a title shot at Night of Champions.

Post match it’s table time but New Day comes out with signs, including “Save a table, break a Dudley” and “hashtag give tables a chance.” Viktor gets powerbombed through the table and New Day panics.

Neville vs. Kevin Owens

This could be good. The threat of a kick to the head sends Owens into the corner and a headscissors puts him on the floor. Neville misses a baseball slide though and Owens blasts him with a clothesline. Back in and a torture rack neckbreaker (cool move) gets two for Kevin and we take a break.

We come back with Neville fighting out of a chinlock and striking away, followed by a missile dropkick for two. The German suplex sends Owens to the floor but this time Neville is smart enough to duck the clothesline. Instead it’s a superkick to set up the Red Arrow but Owens rolls away before it can launch. The Pop Up Powerbomb ends Neville at 8:19.

Rating: C+. The match was fun while it lasted but there’s only so much they can do with less than five minutes of the match actually airing. It’s nice to see Owens getting back to back wins, but I’m worried about where Neville is going. There’s only so much he can do, but the hero character could take them somewhere.

The Bellas get catty with Team PCB over Paige being the leader but never showing up because of Tough Enough. A tag match is set up for later. High school style drama: empowering women around the world.

Bella Twins vs. Becky Lynch/Charlotte

Team BAD is on commentary because Heaven forbid all of these teams aren’t in the same place at the same time. Jimmy has recused himself from commentary to avoid a personal conflict. Nikki and Charlotte get things going as BAD rips on the Bellas for their singing on Total Divas. As usual, I love that something that happened two and a half months ago on Total Divas (some of it happened backstage at Battleground) is never mentioned until after the show aired.

A double dropkick puts Nikki down so it’s off to Brie, who gets her head slammed onto the mat. Back to Charlotte who misses a knee to give Brie a target and one of her kicks actually connects for a change. A leg lock doesn’t get Brie anywhere so Charlotte kicks her out to the floor. Everything breaks down as Nikki pulls Becky off the apron, leaving Charlotte to roll Brie up in the Charlotte’s Web for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: D+. I’m sure this means the Bellas are mortal and PCB has the momentum now or something, even though there still seems to be no advancement in this story. The Divas Revolution continues to be nothing more than a way to drag new Divas in so the Bellas can have fresh names to go over in the end. I had some hope that things would turn around with Summerslam ending but the first week is the same as all the previous ones: meaningless matches taking place while Nikki gets closer to the record.

Here’s Seth Rollins to address what happened on Raw. This Monday was supposed to take him from legendary to immortal. He mentions cashing in at Wrestlemania and being the first man to hold both titles at once (save for Goldberg, whose titles don’t count I guess because all those titles being unified only counts when they want it to. I like it better this way though as the idea of the World Heavyweight Championship being the NWA/WCW Title was one of the most ridiculous things even WWE had ever tried to pass off). Actors should be fighting to play him in his biopic.

Here’s a clip of Sting’s unveiling and subsequent beating. Rollins brags about being on top of the mountain while Sting has spent years down in the minor leagues. So why does Sting think he can ruin Seth’s moment without provocation? Rollins is going to finish what HHH started at Wrestlemania when the Architect faces the Artifact.

This got better as Rollins kept going but that’s the problem: it felt like he was still going for the sake of going, not because he had anything else to say. That’s a major problem with so many WWE promos: they’re designed as one size fits all, but not everyone speaks the same. Look at this one for example. Rollins could have cut this in half and said the same thing. Orton is the same way. He has to talk forever when it’s clear that he’s covered everything in a fraction of the time, but WWE has decided that this is how you do promos and everyone has to be the same.

Sheamus says he’ll kick Ambrose’s head off tonight.

Ryback/Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev/Big Show

Big Show throws Ryback around to start but Ryback kicks away in the corner. Something like a spear puts Ryback down up against the ropes. The chokeslam doesn’t work so Ryback shoulders Show down. That wasn’t a bad power sequence. Show runs him over in turn but Rusev tags himself in, much to Show’s annoyance, and we take a break. Back with Rusev dropping elbows on Ryback and ignoring Show’s requests for a tag. Rusev: “I don’t trust you giant!”

Ziggler gets knocked off the apron but the distraction lets Ryback score with a spinebuster. Off to Ziggler vs. Big Show and the giant gets put down with the swinging DDT. A superkick gets two but the Fameasser is countered into the Alley-Oop and the KO Punch knocks Dolph out. Rusev tags himself in though and slaps on the Accolade, only to have Show KO his partner. Show walks past the black hole that Ryback has fallen into as Ziggler covers Rusev for the pin at 10:16.

Rating: C-. So I guess Big Show is a face again. That guy turns more often than I have to change the oil in my car so he must have been overdue. Big Show vs. Rusev does nothing for me, but I think I’d rather see that instead of forcing myself through another Lana/Ziggler love fest.

Clips of the end of Undertaker vs. Lesnar and Brock leaving Bo in a heap on Monday.

Video on Jon Stewart screwing John Cena at Summerslam and Monday’s fallout.

Ambrose and Reigns try to figure out what Sheamus means by respect the hawk. Sheamus better learn to respect Dean’s fist and his boot. Reigns will take care of the Wyatts.

Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose

Now I know the Wyatts are either going to run in to end the match or just after it’s over, but how refreshing is it to not have Dean fighting one of them for a change? Ambrose vs. Sheamus isn’t the most thrilling match in the world, but I’ll take it over Dean vs. Wyatt or Harper again.

Sheamus takes over to start and dumps Dean to the floor to turn it into a brawl. Dean comes right back by throwing him inside for a clothesline to take it back to the floor, only to be sent into the barricade as we go to a break. Back with Sheamus kneeing him down onto the apron and slamming him out of a suplex. The Brock Lock doesn’t make Dean tap out so he pulls himself up, only to get planted with a sitout powerbomb.

Six forearms to the chest have Dean in even more trouble but he gets in some forearms to Sheamus’ chest to even things out a bit. A big clothesline drops Sheamus and Dean is all fired up. The bulldog out of the corner sets up la majistral of all things to give Ambrose two. Dean’s suicide dive connects and another big clothesline knocks Sheamus silly. Of course we’ve got Wyatts and the distraction sets up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 11:31.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I was expecting to because they didn’t try to make this a wrestling match. Just let these two beat each other up for about ten minutes and then let the rest take care of itself. The Wyatts were the obvious ending but at least Sheamus isn’t being treated like a loser for a change.

Post match Reigns comes out for the save and is smart enough to Superman Punch Harper as fast as he can. Strowman is waiting for him though and Roman’s right hands have almost no effect. Braun slams him face first into the mat and chokes Reigns out, leaving the Wyatts posing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Standard Smackdown fare here with almost nothing interesting or worth seeing. The ending to the show was the same as when Strowman debuted on Monday and Show is still having issues with Rusev. It’s back to normal with two hours of talking, average matches and nothing that won’t be done on a bigger stage in four days.

Results

Dudley Boyz b. Ascension – 3D to Konor

Kevin Owens b. Neville – Pop Up Powerbomb

Charlotte/Becky Lynch b. Bella Twins – Charlotte’s Web to Brie

Dolph Ziggler/Ryback b. Rusev/Big Show – Ziggler pinned Rusev after a KO Punch

Sheamus b. Dean Ambrose – Brogue Kick

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – August 24, 2015: Feel The Heat. I’m Sure It’s There Somewhere.

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 24, 2015
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

Summerslam has come and gone and we have two main event fallout stories to deal with. Jon Stewart, the host of Summerslam, cost John Cena the US Title by interfering to help Seth Rollins last night. In addition, Brock Lesnar made Undertaker tap out but the referee didn’t see it, allowing Undertaker to hit Brock low and make him pass out in the Hell’s Gate, likely setting the stage for a third match between the two. Let’s get to it.

Earlier today, HHH praised Seth Rollins for making Summerslam live up to its hype last night. Rollins, holding both titles, is officially the man in WWE and it’s time for him to take his place among the legends of this industry with a statue.

Opening sequence.

We open with Heyman and a ticked off Lesnar. Heyman gets right to it and says Brock isn’t happy. How did we go from Brock being the first man to make Undertaker tap out to the history books showing Undertaker won the match? Last night the Undertaker went to Suplex City and was then locked in a Kimura and Undertaker tapped out, which we see clear video of him doing. Heyman is a father and knows what it’s like to have to break your kid’s heart by telling him fairy tales aren’t real.

After explaining what it means to tap, Heyman says Brock doesn’t blame the referee or timekeeper. The fans boo the timekeeper so Heyman takes a jab at them for booing compassion. Undertaker collapsed on the way to the back again but we don’t need to talk about that just yet. Imagine last night when someone had to pull Brock off of Undertaker to save him from a beating. Once Undertaker knew he had a reprieve, he went low on Brock and made him pass out in Hell’s Gate.

It was Undertaker’s last bullet as the gunslinger, but it turns out that Undertaker can’t shoot with Brock. Lesnar wants Undertaker one more time, but not at Wrestlemania, Survivor Series or the Royal Rumble. Brock wants Undertaker right here TONIGHT. Instead he gets Bo Dallas. Even Heyman looks stunned by this one.

Dallas says Brock passed out last night but at least he probably had a sweet dream of beating Undertaker. Those dreams can come true if he just BOLIEVES! It’s Suplex City time and Brock eventually leaves, only to go back for one more German. He leaves again but Heyman wants one more. Dallas is out cold so Lesnar makes it easy on him with an F5.

New Day vs. Lucha Dragons

Non-title and the Prime Time Players are on commentary. Big E. introduces Woods as the feature presentation so here’s Xavier playing a trombone. E. sings a modified version of New York, New York about how awesome they are as champions. Just when you think these guys are running out of ideas they have the singing gimmick to fall back on. As usual, these three are hilarious together. Kofi and Cara get things going before it’s quickly off to Kalisto who flips Kingston to the floor. Big E. gets kicked out to the floor but is able to catch a diving Kalisto in midair. Cara adds a dive and we take an early break.

Back with New Day in control and Woods playing the trombone. Cara backflips over E. into the tag to Kalisto as things speed up. A sunset bomb gets two on Kofi as everything breaks down. E. pulls Cara to the floor and the distraction lets Kofi grab Kalisto in a reverse suplex. Woods plays some Taps as the Midnight Hour puts Kalisto away at 6:19. Too much was in the break to rate it but the match was great fun.

Post match New Day celebrates but the DUDLEY BOYS return and clean house. Woods gets What’s Up and the place is just coming unglued. Bubba isn’t done yet because it’s table time. Kofi and Big E. are nowhere to be found and the 3D puts Woods through the table. The Dudleys aren’t done yet as they go outside to yell at the Prime Time Players a bit before posing on the ropes and soaking in the thunderous cheers.

Stills of Jon Stewart costing John Cena the US Title.

Video on John Cena granting his 500th Make-A-Wish, the most of anyone in history. Like him or not, these things are just cool.

The Authority is looking at Rollins’ statue when Rollins comes in to brag about receiving one.

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper

Rematch from last night. Dean takes everyone out to start but eats a suicide dive from Harper. Reigns comes over to help and it’s an apron boot to Harper to take us to a commercial. Note that we saw Dean and the Wyatts’ entrance plus less than two minutes of action between breaks. Back with Bray clotheslining Dean for two before it’s off to Harper for a catapult into the middle rope.

Bray gets two more off a DDT and plants Dean with a gutbuster before it’s off to Harper, who eats a tornado DDT. A double tag brings in Reigns and Wyatt with Roman cleaning house with some nice throws followed by a corner clothesline. See how much better it is when you mix stuff up instead of just doing the same clotheslines over and over? Everything breaks down and Dean sends Bray to the floor for a suicide dive.

Roman does something like a Jackhammer on Wyatt but Harper comes in with superkicks (JBL: “Superkick party!”). Sister Abigail is broken up and Reigns nails a Superman Punch. Ambrose dives on Harper and we’ve got…..a third Wyatt. This guy is massive, even bigger than Reigns, and wearing a black sheep mask. Roman tries the Superman Punch, only to get pulled out of the air for the DQ at 10:39.

Rating: C+. Fun brawl here but obviously this was just about introducing the new monster. Adding in someone new is a good idea as the Wyatts work best when Bray has a few minions to throw at people, meaning he gets to stay safe instead of taking falls all the time. Good match here but it didn’t have time to go anywhere like last night.

The guy beats Ambrose down and chokes Reigns out as the fans ask WHO ARE YOU. Ambrose comes back with a kick to the head for no effect and the monster chokes him out as well. Bray poses next to him as we take a break. Apparently the new guy is a former strongman competitor who wrestled in NXT under the name Braun Stowman.

It’s time for MizTV with Team PCB as guests. Charlotte says her dad was part of the greatest faction in WWE history. No not Evolution, which is really the only faction he was ever part of in WWE, but the Horsemen. To be fair, WWE is convinced they are wrestling at this point so it’s close enough in their eyes. Miz brags about himself but Paige says they’re not into him. The trio says they’ll fight any woman, man, dinosaur or cyborg.

Paige talks about being all dominant so here’s Team Bella. Nikki makes a Donald Trump joke and Brie says they empower women all over the world. Fox and Becky yell at each other a bit over how long Alicia has been around. Nikki: “Wins and losses, who cares?” Miz says cool it and says he sees a bunch of women who fight like girls. PCB gets in his face but Team Bella jumps them from behind and knocks PCB to the floor.

Team Bella vs. Team PCB

This is joined in progress in case you haven’t seen it enough yet. Becky drops a leg on Brie before it’s off to Charlotte for the Charlotte’s Web on Nikki for two. PCB starts taking turns on the champ and Becky gets two off a backslide. The Bellas take over for a bit before Becky and Charlotte clean house with dropkicks to send them out to the floor. Charlotte dives on all three and we take a break.

Back with Charlotte in trouble and Nikki throwing her out to the floor. Nikki sends the leg into the post and everyone starts working on Charlotte’s leg. The fans are doing the wave as Paige gets the hot tag. Fox takes her down as well and now it’s a WE ARE AWESOME chant. Everything breaks down and Nikki hits Paige with the big forearm, followed by the ax kick from Fox for the pin at 14:30.

Rating: D. I’m done with the Divas Revolution for now and they’re right back to where they were before. When the star of your division flat out says “wins and losses don’t matter”, what’s the point of watching the matches anymore? I had hope that they were going somewhere new with this division, but tonight proves that it’s just about making the Bellas look good and we’ve already spent the last year doing that with Nikki vs. Brie which wound up going nowhere. Well done WWE on screwing up something so promising again for the sake of the Bellas.

King Barrett and Stardust are here for a tag match but Stardust beats Barrett up before the match. This brings out Neville to go after Stardust as the referee gets out of the ring. Stardust rolls away before the Red Arrow can launch though.

Here’s Jon Stewart for an explanation. He understands that some people are mad at him, but some people are also happy with him. Some people had to comfort their children last night and explain who the little old man who attacked John Cena was. Well here’s why he did it: it wasn’t to help Rollins retain or to do what’s best for business. Instead, it was because he couldn’t let John Cena tie Ric Flair’s record because the champ is Flair.

This brings out Flair himself and Stewart loses his mind. Flair says he appreciated Stewart’s sentiments last night but he was pulling for Cena. The record is going to fall someday and Flair would like it to fall to someone he respects. Ric says Stewart messed up everything but here’s Cena to freak Stewart out in a completely different way. Cena says he’s at peace for what happened last night, but Stewart kept the title on Rollins as a result, in addition to making him the US Champion.

That was the title that Cena used to give everyone an opportunity, from names like Cesaro to Kevin Owens to Sami Zayn. Stewart freaks out and tries to backpedal but Cena says the titles are in the hands of the Authority. This is a chance for Cena to win the titles back and there’s an AA to Stewart. Flair just stands there as all this happens and then leaves.

Post break Cena says he was doing what he thought was right. Later tonight, he’ll have another talk with Seth Rollins.

Dolph Ziggler/Randy Orton/Ryback/Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens/Big Show/Rusev/Sheamus

Ziggler is now in tights. Ryback and Rusev get things going before it’s off to Cesaro for a headlock. Ziggler gets the tag and tries a superkick but Rusev bails to the floor. It’s about to explode on the floor as we take a break. Back with Show telling Ziggler to bring it on before chopping him down. Show: “I’M A GIANT!” It’s off to Owens to wake the fans up a bit but that ends when Sheamus gets the tag for a release suplex.

Sheamus puts Ziggler in the Brock Lock, followed by an Irish Curse for no cover. Back from another break with Ziggler DDTing Big Show but Rusev breaks up the hot tag attempt. Summer slaps Dolph so Lana tackles her down and the distraction lets Ziggler scores with the Fameasser. Ziggler finally dives over for the tag to Cesaro, who uppercuts the heck out of Owens.

Rusev comes in and takes the Swing, leaving Ryback and Owens to slug it out. The Cannonball is broken up by a spinebuster and there’s the Meathook. Kevin breaks up the Shell Shock though and a double clothesline drops both of them. It’s Orton coming in off the hot tag and cleaning house, but Show makes his job easier by KO Punching Sheamus by mistake, setting up the RKO for the pin at 17:55.

Rating: C+. So I’m guessing this means it’s time to make Show face again because we haven’t done something with him in long enough. I mean, it’s not like you can have him take the fall here. Why do that when you have Sheamus to do it for him? The match was much more long than good, which is all you can expect here.

Owens and Rusev beat Show down post match before walking out. The winners come in with Ziggler superkicking Show, followed by Cesaro and Ryback lifting Show up for an RKO. For once the camera team made sure to hide the fact that it barely connected.

We look at Lesnar vs. Undertaker from last night.

Recap of the new Wyatt Family member.

Bray says he tried to warn Roman. As long as there is breath in Reigns’ body, Bray will be there to stop him. Look at Reigns’ so called brother. Roman pulled him into this war and now Dean is just a pawn. Last night was Roman’s moment of glory but now it’s over. Tonight you witnessed her greatest gift. Bray introduces us to Braun Stowman, Abigail’s black sheep.

The Authority stops Cena in the back and has security escort him out of the arena.

It’s time for the Rollins statue unveiling, but the statue is under a curtain, despite us seeing it earlier in the night. First up though, Stephanie leads us in singing Happy Birthday to her dad, who turns 70 today. HHH talks about what you want in a man to immortalize in bronze. The three qualities you would want in such a man are hustle, loyalty and respect. There’s only one man in this company who deserves that, so here’s Seth Rollins. The champ brags about how amazing this is because so few people receive this honor.

Last night he won this match and became a legend. Rollins goes on for a LONG time about how awesome he is and promises to retain the title at Wrestlemania after Wrestlemania after Wrestlemania. They finally pull the curtain and instead of a statue, it’s Sting. Why his facepaint is already chipped off isn’t clear but maybe it melted off while he was waiting so long for Rollins to finish talking. Sting cleans house and holds up the title as Rollins panics to end the show. Why? It’s an old guy who has never won a match in this company.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was rolling along after the first hour and then the Divas killed it deader than dead. That segment and match were so bad and just destroyed everything the show had built up in the first hour. Other than that, the show was watchable enough but the Cena segment really didn’t do it any favors. As usual I’m more interested in NXT this week, but you knew WWE was going to do something to screw up what they had going for it.

Results

New Day b. Lucha Dragons – Midnight Hour to Kalisto

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt via DQ when an unknown man interfered

Team Bella b. Team PCB – Ax kick to Paige

Randy Orton/Cesaro/Ryback/Dolph Ziggler b. Sheamus/Big Show/Rusev/Kevin Owens – RKO to Sheamus

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6