Monday Night Raw
Date: July 16, 2007
Location: American Bank Arena, Corpus Christi, Texas
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was a request and one of several shows I’ve been asked to do from this era. It’s one of the times that I don’t remember very well whatsoever, which is always a fun thing to see. We’re less than a month removed from the Chris Benoit tragedy and that means things have kind of reset a bit. This is the go home show for the Great American Bash so we’ll get some buildup for a not very important pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

HHH’s (who has been gone since January due to a torn quad) music starts us off but it’s King Booker and Queen Sharmell instead. There is one king around here and that is of course King Booker. Oh sorry. King Book-ah. However, there is someone who seems interested in a claim to the crown, which brings Booker to Lawler. Since Book-ah is the real king, Lawler must cease referring to himself as such. Lawler isn’t buying that as, you know, he’s been the King for thirty years.

That’s not cool with Booker, because a kingdom divided cannon stand. Lawler finally gives in and says he won’t call himself the King anymore, but Booker wants him to kiss the ring. Shockingly enough, that’s not happening so Booker orders Lawler. That’s enough to get Lawler to his feet so Book-ah punches him in the face, only to have Lawler get in a few shots of his own as we’re likely to have a match tonight. Nice segment, with Booker logically being annoyed at another king.

Ric Flair picks John Cena to beat Bobby Lashley at the Great American Bash. This seems to be a theme tonight.

Lawler looks ready to fight.

We look back at Umaga destroying Santino Marella last week to retain the Intercontinental Title.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Santino Marella vs. William Regal

Elimination rules with the winner getting a shot at Umaga on Sunday. Charlie Haas is here with Shelton. This is before Santino had become a comedy goof so he’s just a boring guy in trunks at the moment. Santino and Regal fight to the floor with Jeff fighting out of the corner until stereo crossbodies put he and Shelton down. Regal and Marella get back in with Santino punching Shelton down until Regal hits the knee trembler to get rid of Santino for the first elimination.

Jeff hammers on Regal in the corner but gets caught with an electric chair from Shelton. We take a break and come back with Jeff getting double suplexed, leaving Regal and Benjamin to argue over the pin. In an elimination match because they’re not that bright. Regal throws Benjamin down with a suplex and drops a knee on Jeff for two. A collision out of the corner puts Regal and Benjamin down so Jeff is back up to some VERY high pitched cheers. Benjamin gets kicked to the floor but Jeff misses the slingshot dropkick in the corner. The knee trembler misses Jeff though and it’s a Twist of Fate to get us down to two.

Benjamin is right back in with a top rope Blockbuster for two and the fans are rather pleased on the kickout. A Whisper in the Wind sends Shelton outside and Jeff dives onto Haas and Benjamin. The Swanton misses though because Jeff can’t keep the momentum going for that long. Shelton loads up a piledriver but gets rolled up to give Jeff the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C. Hardy was the only realistic winner here and a match against the monster should be a good moment. This just felt a little more energized than most modern matches and that made for a nice opener. The ans were completely behind Hardy here and it’s easy to see why he was going to get the rocket attached to his back very soon.

Edge isn’t sure on Cena vs. Lashley because he has no history with Lashley. He has history with Cena and can’t stand him, but he knows how tough Cena is. Cena retains.

Randy Orton has challenged Cody Rhodes to a match tonight and it’s time to kill a legend before it starts (Cody only debuted earlier in the month and hasn’t actually wrestled yet). Vince McMahon would agree these days. Orton is ready to destroy Dusty Rhodes on Sunday and wants him out there tonight for a preview.

Maria tries to make Santino feel better because he’s not a loser. Santino talks about watching Transformers and thinks he feels like he doesn’t belong here. Then she makes him feel better. Come spend the night with him and he’ll make her pancakes in the morning. She’s good with that.

Batista can’t decide but goes with Lashley. The fans are the winners though.

The bald Snitsky likes to hurt people as much as he likes to win matches. It’s weird but he can’t help himself. His opponents’ pain is his pleasure.

Snitsky vs. Val Venis

Val still had a job in 2007??? Venis gets a boot up in the corner to start but gets sent chest first into the buckle to put him in trouble. The pumphandle slam finishes Val in a hurry.

Post match Val gives him a second pumphandle slam. Commentary focusing on Snitsky’s bad teeth show you how far he’s going to go.

Cody is ready for his in-ring debut but knows he can never be a bigger star than his dad. You can’t RKO away Dusty’s legacy but as for tonight, Cody is going to make a first impression.

Lawler is in the ring with a bull rope for a preview of Orton vs. Dusty in Sunday’s Texas Bull rope match. The rules are explained with Lawler talking about how many horrible, violent things he’s seen Dusty do in these matches over the years. And then Orton comes out for his match.

Video on Orton being a psycho and punting various people in the head.

Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes

This is Cody’s in-ring debut, which is almost hard to fathom. Dusty is out with Cody, as he should be. Cody gets in a left hand to the jaw to start but gets clotheslined down as the beating begins. Orton drops him ribs first across the top rope and Dusty is looking rather concerned, as he should.

The comeback is cut off by a snap powerslam and some forearms to the chest make it even worse. Orton grabs the chinlock for a bit until Cody fights up with right hands and a missile dropkick for two. That’s it again though as Orton grabs the backbreaker and Dusty’s emotional roller coaster continues. The RKO connects to finally put Cody away.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified squash as Cody wasn’t going to be any kind of threat. What kept my attention here was Dusty, who worked the crowd into a near frenzy, just by going through every possible emotion in a seven minute match. The look on his face when Cody was making his comeback and then getting the near fall sold the whole thing, because Dusty can sell you anything he wants without breaking a sweat. Not a good match, but great emotion.

Post match Orton loads up the Punt but Dusty breaks it up.

Steve Austin picks Cena but really isn’t sure.

Melina vs. Mickie James

Melina has newcomer Beth Phoenix, who I almost didn’t recognize, with her. Women’s Champion Candice Michelle, who Melina faces on Sunday, comes out to watch, much to Melina’s annoyance. Mickie grabs a rollup for an early two and hits a running basement dropkick to keep her in trouble. A Beth distraction lets Melina dropkick Mickie out of the air to take over…for all of ten seconds before Melina takes her down with a running faceplant. A spinning kick to the ribs drops Melina but Mickie has to kick Beth down, allowing Melina to hit her standing legdrop for the pin.

Rating: D+. The women’s division was trying at this point and this was one of the better matchups they had, but what can you do in about three minutes? Candice wasn’t the most intimidating champion so they weren’t building to much, but they were certainly trying to get somewhere at this point so points for giving it a shot.

Smackdown Rebound.

Regal comes in to see Jim Duggan to talk about Jonathan Coachman liking Duggan’s board. This turns into a series of jokes about hard things going into Regal’s hand. Ron Simmons comes in for the joke, which is still funny.

Mick Foley picks Lashley because Cena has to lose at some point.

Carlito vs. Sandman

2007 was weird as this is fallout from Sandman caning Carlito last week. Sandman works on a wristlock for the token wrestling so Carlito slugs him down. The neck crank goes on until Sandman comes back for a slam, only to have Regal come in for the DQ (as Sandman caned him last week as well).

Duggan makes the save, setting up a nightmare of a tag match that I need to see.

JBL picks Cena for the experience.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy

Rematch from two weeks ago when Kennedy ran his mouth too long and got pinned. Kennedy beat the fire out of him backstage last week to make himself feel better. Kennedy does his own entrance, while Super Crazy’s theme sums him up well: “I’M SUPER! I’M CRAZY! I’M SUPER CRAZY!”

An early shoulder puts Crazy down to start but he dropkicks the knee and hammers away in the corner. Kennedy punches him into the other corner and grabs an abdominal stretch to slow things down. With Lawler explaining that it hurts your abdominals, Crazy comes back with a slam and two of the three moonsaults. The third is broken up with a crotching though and a reverse superplex gives Kennedy the pin.

Rating: D. Well that was a big waste of a few weeks. Was there any need to have Kennedy deal with Super Crazy over the course of three weeks? Super Crazy was a jobber to the stars at best and that’s a lot less than what Kennedy should be doing. It was a nothing match too, as Kennedy won after shrugging off anything Crazy did. I don’t get this one and I think we’ll keep it that way.

Great American Bash rundown.

We look back at HHH tearing his quad in January. He’s coming back at Summerslam, apparently now as the Six Million Dollar Man (who was named Steve Austin on the show).

Coach is on the stage to moderate an in-ring podium debate between Cena and Lashley. Cena gets a very high pitched reaction. First up, we look at Cena getting speared during the recent contract signing. Cena is asked if he feels that his title reign is ending on Sunday, which is actually a year. It sounds like Cena is about to cry because that spear two weeks ago REALLY HURT. There’s no way he can win the match and the worst part is he never learned to read. Cena: “God bless America.”

That has to be a topical reference, though I get the “I award you no points” part. We get serious with Cena admitting that Lashley is more athletic than him, but he’s fought the best before. He’s won some and lost some but on Sunday, Lashley is getting Cena’s best. Lashley says if we want someone to hype the match, let Cena the hype man do it. He turns the podium over and says he’ll be ready to fight when Cena is done talking.

The fight is teased but Coach says this isn’t happening on his show. Lashley goes up the ramp but Cena says Lashley needs to be ready for the biggest match of his career. So he needs to get ready for Wrestlemania again? Cena knows that Lashley has a great resume and on Sunday he’ll put it to the test. Lashley comes back down and the fight is on to end the show. Good segment as they’re making Lashley feel like a real threat.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a weird look into the time capsule that was 2007. There were some rather strange characters and feuds in there, with stuff like Sandman, Super Crazy and Jim Duggan of all people getting TV time. Cena vs. Lashley felt like a one off match and while it felt big, it didn’t feel like it was going to be a game changed. The problem is that the Cena vs. Lashley stuff is just about the only good part of the entire show, which is from a completely forgotten time in the company’s history.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Hidden Gems #10
Date: 1985, 1987, 2000

I’m FINALLY finishing up these Christmas shows and, again, it includes an AWA show because apparently there is nothing else to do on Christmas night in Minnesota. There is one little surprise in there as well though with a one match Gem instead of a full show. With luck, I can get this done by Halloween. Let’s get to it.

ECW World Title: Sandman vs. Justin Credible vs. Steve Corino

Date: December 23, 2000

Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Corino is defending (though Sandman has the title) and this is from the final ECW event at the ECW Arena so it’s certainly historic. Before the match, Sandman says let’s make it a three way so I’m not sure who wasn’t originally in the match. Corino jumps Sandman from behind to start so the champ fights back and sends everyone outside. Credible sends Corino over the barricade as Sandman starts bringing out the toys.

The fans tell themselves to throw in their chairs before switching to the tried and true ECW chant. As the other two fight in the crowd, Sandman loads up six chairs with a piece of barricade on top of them. Credible comes back in for an ugly piledriver from Sandman, who then superplexes the bloody Corino onto the steel setup. Sandman is back up with the cane to the head and Corino hits the Old School Expulsion (basically a reverse Twist of Fate) to eliminate Credible at 3:54.

Sandman throws in chairs and the fans follow suit, throwing in probably 100 chairs. Eventually Sandman has to call them off as the mat is nearly covered, meaning a DDT onto the chairs gets….two as Corino’s lackey Jack Victory makes the save. Sandman’s Swanton only hits chairs and the Old School Expulsion on the chairs gets two. Victory belts Corino by mistake so Sandman can get two. A cowbell to the head retains Corino’s title at 7:22.

Rating: D. The chairs thing made for a cool visual but multiple ones being launched from the further seats and landing in the closer seats were lawsuits waiting to happen. Sandman was crazy over here and Corino was a great heel for wanting to be a wrestler. Credible was just there, which is often the case for him.

AWA House Show

Date: December 25, 1987

Location: Minneapolis Auditorium, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Attendance: 1,800

Commentators: Ron Trongard, Nick Conch

The ring announcer tells us to make sure to register for a prize drawing. Given how many empty seats are behind him, you probably have a good chance of winning something.

Mitch Snow vs. Nick Kiniski

There is a guest ring announcer who donated a bunch of money to a charity. Nick is Gene’s son and hopefully he’s more interesting than his dad. Oh and this is JAMMIN Mitch Snow because it’s the 80s and Jammin is a cool name. That being said, he has Madusa in his corner so there’s something to him. Kiniski chills on the floor to start before being driven into the corner and falling out to the floor. Back in and Snow works on the arm before taking Kiniski down and pulling on the arm.

We’re clipped to Kiniski putting on a chinlock as the arena looks darker and the camera is pulled back for some reason. It’s off to a front facelock with the bigger Kiniski laying on him quite a bit. Back up and Kiniski misses a charge into the corner, which didn’t even start until after Mitch had moved. It’s off to the reverse chinlock for a good while until Snow fights back up. We get the two minute warning and Kiniski grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin at 7:45 shown.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here but that’s kind of the point of an opener like this. All they were doing here was getting the crowd warmed up a little bit so it’s not like the standards were all that high. At least they went to a finish instead of just another time limit draw. Not very good, but I’m not exactly thinking they had the highest expectations.

Alan West vs. Kevin Kelly

Not that Kevin Kelly, though this one is better known as Nailz. West is substituting for DJ Peterson, who had won Madusa’s (Kelly’s manager) services for a month, which ends tonight. Madusa is in West’s corner and wearing an elf costume, which the announcers ridicule/praise in a somewhat disturbing way. Feeling out process to start with Kelly posing a lot and Trongard talking about West’s football career. Kelly works on an armbar as I try to figure out what happened to him until he became Nailz. He’s chiseled here while Nailz looked to be almost husky, which is quite the change of pace.

The announcers talk about how bored Madusa looks at ringside as West starts in on the arm. Back up and Kelly sends him into the corner, setting up a front facelock as the slow pace (read as the AWA style) goes on. The BORING chants send us off to a chinlock for far too long as the fans are getting bored in a hurry. They head outside with Kelly stomping away but having to come back in after the threats of a nagging referee. Back in and Kelly’s very slow offense continues and we hit the backbreaker.

Slam, misses elbow, slam, elbow connects for two. That somehow ate up over a minute and a half. West finally makes a comeback off a dropkick, with Kelly jumping into it for some reason. A backdrop gives West two and a powerslam gets the same with Kelly getting his foot on the rope. They do the same thing off a backbreaker, which looked like a setup for Madusa to sweep the leg. West picks him up again and this time Madusa does sweep the leg, allowing Kelly to fall on top for the pin at 10:55.

Rating: D-. From the boring “action” to the botched finish, this was one of the most uninteresting matches I’ve seen in a long time. West’s comeback was decent enough, but other than that this felt about three hours long and needed to be about seven minutes shorter. Terrible match here as the AWA continues its tradition of REALLY boring stuff.

Nord the Barbarian vs. Soldat Ustinov

A local radio announcer introduces this one. Nord is better known as Berzerker and Ustinov is one of those Russians from Minnesota. If Nord wins, he gets five minutes with Adnan Al-Kaissie. Nord grabs a headlock takeover and we’re immediately cut to the two of them fighting to the floor. They go into the crowd with Nord getting the better of it and somehow beating the count back in. A big boot gives Nord two and we’re clipped again to Ustinov charging into a boot in the corner for the same.

The front facelock goes on and we’re clipped again, this time to Ustinov raking the eyes. Ustinov grabs a chinlock as the announcers keep comparing this to a boxing match. They can clip everything else but not a two minute chinlock? The camera goes out for a bit as Nord fights up and hits a dropkick (which we only hear about). Nord misses a middle rope legdrop but Ustinov misses a middle rope clothesline to give Nord the pin at 5:45 shown.

Rating: D. Well what we saw was bad at least and were you really expecting anything else? You’re only going to get so much stuff out of a battle of the giants like this and that’s usually not the best recipe in the world. Neither of these guys were exactly interesting but the whole deal with the manager fight is more than enough to make something like this worth it.

Nord the Barbarian vs. Sheik Adnan Al-Kaissie

The chase is on and Ustinov’s interference earns himself a ram into the post. Sheik gets in and the beatdown is on with Sheik’s comeback cut off by a boot to the face. Ustinov comes in and some double teaming works a bit better on Nord….and everyone walks out at 2:08.

Tag Team Titles: Midnight Express vs. Midnight Rockers

For the sake of clarification, I’ll go with the Midnights vs. the Rockers here. The Express (Randy Rose/Dennis Condrey with Paul E. Dangerously) is defending here. Of note here, Shawn is starting to grow out his hair and has what would be his classic look for the next thirty years. The brawl is on before the bell with the Midnights being sent outside. We settle down to Shawn vs. Condrey to start, even though I don’t think I heard a bell in there.

A right hand knocks Condrey down and it’s time to complain about the closed fists. Given that referee Scott LeDoux is a former boxer, this doesn’t go very well. We settle down and get clipped to Shawn punching Condrey out of the corner. For some reason Rose shoves LeDoux and gets shoved back, meaning the champs need to bail, only to come back to see the Rockers holding the belts. A headlock takeover sends Condrey outside and it’s time to stall some more on the outside.

Back in and Dennis takes his time locking up, allowing Jannetty to get in the corner and block Shawn from being whipped into the corner. Rose tries the same thing and gets kicked in the ribs because Shawn is rather smart. The ring announcer says we’re at ten minutes, though it’s about six and a half, which makes me think the big time limit draw is coming. Rose comes in and gets monkey flipped before taking over on Shawn’s arm.

We’re clipped (that’s more like it) to Shawn hanging Rose up in the ropes and punching away for the rocking chair effect. Condrey comes back in and gets whipped into the corner as well, allowing the tag to Marty. A rope walk headlock takeover has Rose in trouble at the fifteen minute announcement, or ten shown. Marty’s crossbody gets two and the Rockers take turns with some headlock takeovers.

Rose gets up and manages to punch Condrey by mistake as the Midnights can’t get anything going. Marty knocks him into the corner again and we’re clipped again to Condrey not wanting to tag in. Clipped again to Condrey getting headlocked as well and we hit twenty minutes in (about twelve shown). Dangerously offers a distraction so Shawn can be knocked out to the floor. The champs finally take over on Shawn with a gutbuster making it even worse.

We hit the chinlock (you knew that was coming) and we’re clipped again to Shawn making his comeback. A clothesline takes care of that though but we’re clipped AGAIN to the hot tag bringing Marty in to clean house. Condrey blocks a sunset flip as we have two minutes left. Trongard freaks out because he thought it was an hour time limit but it’s only half an hour, which should be a detail they have down.

Marty gets two off a small package with a minute left. Condrey begs off so Marty wastes a long time before hammering away. Everything breaks down and the Rockers put on a freaking rowboat hold before realizing they’re out of time and covering with two seconds left as time expires at 18:18 shown of 30:00.

Rating: B-. What we got was working but my goodness the Rockers looked like morons at the end there. They just waited around forever and then realized how dumb they were at the end. The clipping hurt quite a bit though and while what we got was good, I never bought that the titles were in real jeopardy. Oh and just to make this worse: the Rockers won the titles TWO DAYS LATER, because why do it on Christmas night when you can….not?

Adrian Adonis vs. Wahoo McDaniel

Adonis has Dangerously in his corner and is looking like a cross between his most famous gimmick and the tough guy version. He even throws in a peck on Dangerously’s cheek to mess with the announcers. Adonis works on a headlock as the announcers talk about how much Adonis weighs, with Trongard seriously trying to say that Adonis weighs 458. I mean he’s fat but that’s Earthquake levels.

Adonis takes him down into an armbar but the referee breaks it up for no apparent reason. McDaniel comes back with a chop to the nose but gets driven into the corner with a splash crushing his arm. Another splash hits the referee though and Dangerously gives Adonis the phone for a shot to the head. Adonis’ splash gets two as Wahoo gets a foot on the rope. Adrian makes the mistake of going after the referee, allowing Wahoo to grab Dangerously. Wahoo steals the phone and knocks Adonis down before shoving the referee for the DQ at 5:42.

Rating: D-. This match felt like it belonged in 1983 at the latest as Adonis was just embarrassing. McDaniel looked better but that’s not saying much given who he was in there against. The two of them did not belong in a ring at this point but they were names so of course they were put on the show.

AWA World Title: Curt Hennig vs. Greg Gagne

Curt is defending of course and Greg doesn’t get an entrance. Both of their fathers are here at ringside so for the sake of simplicity I’ll only call them Larry and Verne. There are three referees for some reason and Larry Hennig wants Scott LeDoux out of here. After the Big Match Intros, Larry and Verne have to be tied together to prevent any cheating. I’m sure absolutely no shenanigans will take place.

Curt works on an armbar to start and gets shoved away in a hurry as the announcers recap the previous issues between the two with the fathers interfering in previous matches. Why can’t they do that in more matches? Greg gets in a right hand to knock Curt outside as the fathers are shoving each other on the floor. Back in and Curt gets two off a sunset flip but the threat of a right hand sends him bailing out to the floor. He gets back in again as the stall is in full swing here, allowing the announcers to list off possible challengers for the winner.

Hennig takes the leg and gets in a spinning toehold, setting up some pulling on the leg. Since the hold goes on for several minutes, it’s a BORING chant but Hennig seems to be paying attention and grabs a rollup for two. Gagne misses a dive onto the ropes and it’s a Figure Four to work on the leg even more. That gets turned over so Curt goes to the rope before starting right back in on the leg.

Gagne sends Curt shoulder first into the post and it’s time for the armbar. The arm goes into the buckle as the dads are about to fight again. A hammerlock slam has Hennig begging off in the corner but it’s a collision to put both of them down. Back up and the slugout goes to Curt and a middle rope splash gets two. Hennig knocks him outside and eventually is smart enough to let the referee count.

Back in and Greg turns it on with forearms and a backdrop as Larry is freaking out. The sleeper goes on and Verne finally punches Larry for trying to interfere. Larry punches him right back and breaks the hold, meaning it’s a dad fight on the floor. That’s enough for the DQ at 18:30.

Rating: C+. This was a long match and while it was dull at times, it was far from bad with the battle of limb work and the dads being extra factors on the floor. I wasn’t wild on the long form holds but at least the match could have been a lot worse given how things have gone around here before. Hennig was very good in the ring, though just having him as a regular guy wasn’t the most thrilling character. Gagne wasn’t too bad either, but he was in over his head here.

The brawl stays on and some wrestlers come in for the save as the dads keep fighting. Curt even beats up Verne, meaning it’s time for Verne to open his shirt and beat up everyone because that’s what he does. Hennig even breaks the belt over Greg’s head to brawl some blood. Things are finally settled down to end the show.

Hold on though as we’ve got some interviews to do.

The Midnight Rockers don’t like the thirty minute time limit and didn’t get to give the fans the Christmas present they wanted.

Dangerously says the Rockers had their chance and it’s on to another team. Why was it a thirty minute match? It’s because Dangerously is smarter than the Rockers. Hearing Dangerously talk here is such a striking difference between his more famous work as Paul Heyman.

Greg Gagne says he’s beaten Curt three times now and this time Larry had to save his son’s title. There is only one way to settle this and….I guess we’ll find out what that is later.

Verne Gagne, still with the open shirt despite this being in the empty arena, says Greg got cheated. And yes, of course he’s willing to come out of retirement. Well only if you beg him of course.

The Hennigs think the Gagnes are dumb because the Hennigs still have the title. Curt is more than down for a rematch.

Adrian Adonis says he put out Tommy Rich’s fire and Roddy Piper is nowhere to be seen. Now Wahoo is a former great Indian wrestler.

We go to the opening of All Star Wrestling….which is the same shot with Adonis and Dangerously in the same places and talking about Rich, Piper and McDaniel again. What an odd way to end another night that wasn’t all that great in the first place. The wrestling was fine (mostly) but the dim arena is killing them. This is less than a month before the first Royal Rumble and it looks like it’s 1978. That’s not going to work.

AWA Nite Of Champions II
Date: December 29, 1985

Location: Meadowlands Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey

Attendance: 13,000

This is officially an AWA show but it’s actually Pro Wrestling USA, meaning it’s the AWA/NWA on the same card. At least we’ll get some flavor out of it.

Tony Schiavone recaps the Road Warriors vs. the Russians. The Road Warriors and Paul Ellering come in to talk about how serious they are. Of course they haven’t bitten off more than they can chew with the Russians. The Road Warriors have told Ellering what they want to do to the Russians and it is rather intense. Animal doesn’t like hearing about the Russians and the beating is coming soon.

Tully Blanchard, with his head bandaged after Starrcade, is coming to get the US Title back. He’s coming to get the US Title back and for Magnum TA’s eye.

The Rock N Roll Express want the Long Riders and will retain their titles. Not that they’re wearing any titles here. Ricky Morton wants to get hot and nasty and speaks in what sound like a lot of song lyrics. Or he’s just really high.

We hear the New Jersey Athletic Commission members. I’m assuming it’s for the record but I really don’t need to hear that Dr. Shaw is at ringside. Unless it’s Dr. Zahorian, just move on.

No commentary here, as expected.

Ron Bass vs. JJ Dillon

Bass is a cowboy who has been chasing Dillon (a manager) for a good while now. Dillon actually gets a home state reaction but not the biggest in the world because he’s quite the heel. Bass sends him into the corner and then grabs a quickly broken hammerlock. An armbar on the mat works better as Dillon seems to be in way over his head. A hair pull gets Dillon out of trouble for a split second but the fans dub this boring. Could you wait until we’re three minutes into the match?

The armbar goes back on but Dillon reverses into one of his own as the crowd reactions are much more prominent here with the lack of commentary. Back up again and Dillon chokes away in the corner, followed by a nerve hold and more BORING chants. Bass makes the comeback as I try to get my head around him being a face. The Claw goes on and Dillon is done at 5:23.

Rating: D. This is a match where commentary could have helped a lot with selling the hatred and history between these two. As a regular match it’s rather bad but for a nice moment for Bass, it worked well enough. Again though, it feels completely wrong to cheer for Bass, who is as heel of a character as you can get.

World Midget Title: Cowboy Lang vs. Little Tokyo

Tokyo is defending and starts by hiding behind the referee, including a pull of his pants. I wouldn’t be expecting much in the serious department here but that’s to be expected. Tokyo grabs a flying headlock takeover but runs into a dropkick. A test of strength goes to Lang and he backflips over Tokyo for some more frustration. Tokyo stomps on the referee’s foot in frustration/protest so Lang kicks him into the corner.

Some stomping in the corner keeps Lang down until he bites Tokyo’s bare foot. Lang’s delayed vertical suplex gets two and an atomic drop has Tokyo bouncing very high into the air. A backdrop and running stomp to the head gives Lang two but Tokyo rolls him up and puts his feet on the ropes to retain at 6:56.

Rating: D-. Yeah what is there to say about this one? The match was just a spectacle for the sake of having an attraction in there and that isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. The wrestling wasn’t any good and there was no flow to it, minus a few comedy spots. These things don’t age well and this was quite the downer.

AWA Women’s Title: Debbie Combs vs. Sherri Martel

Sherri is defending. The referee takes a LONG time checking Sherri for weapons and yelling at her in general. The lockup goes to Sherri and she grabs a front facelock to take over. Debbie takes her down by the leg, followed by Sherri taking her down by the leg to mix things up a bit. The fans don’t seem pleased with this one but they like Combs being tossed to the floor.

That means some choking with a camera cable but Combs is right back with stomping and a hard slam. Back in and Sherri misses a charge into the corner but she’s fine enough to knock Combs outside again. As was the case before, she doesn’t seem phased by it and tries a front facelock, which fans again find boring.

Sherri’s necksnap sets up….well nothing actually as she gets knocked into the corner and catapulted face first onto the mat for two. Sherri takes her down by the arm as the back and forth continues. Combs gets up again and knocks her to the floor followed by an airplane spin of all things back inside. She gets a bit too dizzy though and Martel grabs a rollup for the pin at 10:25.

Rating: D. This was a rough one to watch but the women were both trying as hard as they could have. Women’s wrestling was, much like the previous match, little more than a sideshow act at this point with no women’s wrestling (in America at least) meaning anything for a very long time. The WWF was trying, but it’s not like it was anything from a quality standpoint.

Universal Title: Carlos Colon vs. Konga The Barbarian

Colon is defending the WWC (Puerto Rico) World Title. That would be the Barbarian with Konga The as a bonus, plus Paul Jones (one of the worst managers of all time) in his corner. There’s no contact for the first minute as the referee objects to what looks like a spiked bad on Barbarian’s forearm. Colon slugs away to start and then grabs a headlock to grind away. This is dubbed as boring as well, as the fans are far from the most patient people in the world.

Barbarian slams him down for the headbutt, followed by the contractually obligated bearhug. This one is broken up in a hurry but Barbarian kicks him down for two more. The top rope headbutt misses so Barbarian sends Carlos outside where Jones gets in some stomping. Back in and Colon grabs the worst small package of all time (he doesn’t even touch a leg) to retain at 6:39.

Rating: D. See, I know there is a lot of variety on here and some big stars, but it doesn’t matter when the matches are all somewhere between bad and boring. This was another bad match with Barbarian being as standard of a villain as you can find (though he would keep doing this same role for the next fifteen years so he was doing something right) and the ending was awful. Can we please find something to help this show?

Post match Jones says they will be back. Can you not?

Buddy Roberts vs. Paul Ellering

Roberts is a Freebird and Ellering, in a neck brace here, is best known as the Road Warriors’ manager, though he did wrestle before an injury ended his career. Roberts jumps him to start and is knocked into the corner without much effort. A kick to the face has Roberts tied up in the ropes and it takes an assist from the referee to get him out.

Back up and Roberts goes after the knee, including wrapping it around the post. Not to be outdone, Ellering crotches him against the post to take over again. Roberts is fine enough to get in a shot to the neck though and the pace slows a bit. Forearms to the back set up a middle rope elbow to the back of the head and Roberts sends him neck first into the ropes. The piledriver is loaded up but the Road Warriors run in for the save.

Rating: D+. This still wasn’t great but it was better than the matches that came before it. It’s a lot more understandable that the match didn’t last long and had the ending it did given the circumstances they were under here. If nothing else, the Road Warriors running in was a nice bonus as the show has needed a burst of energy.

Post match the Warriors beat the heck out of Roberts, even hitting a Hart Attack of all things.

NWA Tag Team Titles: Long Riders vs. Rock N Roll Express

The Riders (Scott and Bill Irwin, a pair of bikers) are challenging. Robert and Scott start things off with Robert working on a headlock. Bill comes in to try a save and gets taken down with a headscissors at the same time Scott goes down with a headlock takeover. It’s off to Bill vs. Ricky with the latter’s armbar keeping things a bit slow. The champs start taking over on Bill with a full nelson and a dropkick that completely misses.

Bill finally gets in a slam but Roberts rolls through with it into a small package for no count. Instead it’s Ricky coming back in for a much better looking dropkick. It gets even worse with another full nelson into an armbar from Robert as this is one sided so far. A clothesline out of the corner finally puts Robert down and it’s back to Scott for a variety of choking. Bill’s middle rope elbow gets two and the fans give Robert the most polite pleas for a comeback I can ever remember seeing.

The bearhug is less well received, mainly because it’s a bearhug in the first good match of the card. Robert finally gets over to the corner for the hot tag to Ricky but the referee doesn’t see it (always a classic). The beatdown continues as I try to get my head around seeing Robert taking the beating for a change. Scott’s splash hits knees and the hot tag brings in Ricky, who starts punching before he gets back inside. Everything breaks down and it’s a double elbow to Robert, leaving Ricky to grab a sunset flip for the pin on Bill to retain at 11:04.

Rating: C. Definitely the best match of the night here as the Rock N Roll Express can work a formula like no team in history. I’m not sure why Robert was the one getting the heat here but it was a rather different change of pace from the traditional Express match. The Long Riders weren’t great but the Express knew just what to do against a team like them. Not a bad match, and great compared to everything else so far.

Post match the Express bails but the Riders say they aren’t leaving. Then they leave.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Boris Zhukov/Chris Markoff

Slaughter’s Americas Heavyweight and tags are required. Markoff if your classic Russian by way of Minnesota and from what I can find, has been wrestling since 1964. We get straight to the choking in the corner with Markoff just standing there with his hand on Slaughter’s throat while Boris holds him. We finally settle down to Boris being thrown hard into the corner and Slaughter choking Markoff down, all to a USA chant.

Markoff pulls out a belt of some kind and hits Slaughter in the head as this is already getting dull. Slaughter is busted open and choking with the belt ensues, though the USA chants don’t slow down a bit. The choking keeps going as this is either a No DQ match or the referee is rather blind. Boris joins Markoff for some stomping to put Slaughter on the timekeeper’s table as they’re not veering out of their comfort zone. Slaughter finally Hulks Up….and gets choked down by the belt again.

Boris’ clothesline gets two and he drops some elbows so Markoff can get two of his own. Forearms to the back just wake Slaughter up and he takes the belt for a real whipping. A big shot with the belt gets two but the heels take him down AGAIN, this time with a double backdrop. Slaughter sends Boris outside though and finishes Markoff with the Slaughter Cannon at 11:50.

Rating: D-. HOW IS THIS SHOW GETTING WORSE? The crowd came close to pushing this up a bit but it was just so much choking that cut off the momentum every single time. They needed to cut about four minutes out of this to make it work and even then it wasn’t going to be very good. This show is death so far and this show dragged it right back down even further.

US Title: Magnum TA vs. Tully Blanchard

I’ll give it an A+ if it’s even close to what they can do. Magnum is defending and Tully has Baby Doll with him. Tully gets punched in the face and gorilla pressed to start so it’s time for some Doll time on the floor. Back in and Magnum punches away some more with a great look of intensity. Tully goes villainous with a poke to the eye and a throat drop across the barricade though and the champ is down on the floor.

Kicking and stomping keep Magnum down as they’re doing an outstanding job of making you feel the hatred. Magnum gets back up and wins the slugout on the floor before winning another one back inside. They’re both busted open as Magnum gets two off a suplex. A superplex attempt is shoved off though and Tully starts in on the back for the first actual wrestling of the match. With that box checked off, Tully goes back to hammering on the cut but runs into a dropkick for two. The belly to belly finishes Tully completely clean at 11:11.

Rating: B-. The ending was as sudden and surprising as you could get as Magnum just hit the dropkick, threw some punches, and finished. You would expect more out of these two for an ending but maybe that’s just the modern fan in me talking. What mattered here was the intensity and you could feel the hatred between the two of them. That’s what sold the feud and it was on full display here. It’s a nice followup to their masterpiece at Starrcade and for a big house show match, it was more than good enough.

NWA World Title: Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair

Flair is defending of course and it’s almost strange to see him in anything but the Big Gold Belt. Dusty mocks Flair’s slick back the hair taunt and dances a bit, much to the crowd’s delight. The first elbow to the head gives us an early Flair Flop and it’s already time for a breather. That means more yelling at the fans, which Flair has turned into an art form over the years.

Back in and the dancing punches have Flair in more trouble, meaning we need more breathing (after he accidentally rolls onto the timekeeper’s table). Back in again and Dusty grabs a hammerlock into the boot rake to the face as you can feel how into this the fans really are. A kick to the leg gets Flair out of trouble and it’s time to get back to the basics. Dusty staggers around the ring off the shots to the leg and Flair cannonballs down onto it as only he can make look perfect.

The referee gets in his face over the cheating to a nice reaction but Flair lets it go and puts on the Figure Four. Dusty manages to turn it over and Flair is smart enough to let go almost immediately. Back up and Flair misses a charge into the corner, meaning it’s time to beg off. Dusty’s running clothesline gets two as Flair puts a foot on the rope. Flair begs off again so Dusty hammers away and we’ve got some blood.

A sweep of the legs lets Flair grab a rollup with feet on the ropes for two, because he has to get in that classic cheating where he can. Dusty slaps on his own Figure Four until a rope is grabbed. Back up and Dusty throws him over the top for a second, only to have Flair hit the referee. Oh yeah you know where this is going. Dusty nails the elbow and a second referee comes in to count the pin at 14:50.

Rating: C. Their matches might not be great but you can’t deny the natural chemistry between these two. The fans are going to get behind Dusty because of the all time charisma and Flair is Flair. There’s a reason these two were as perfect together as they knew exactly what they were doing, but the constant Dusty Finishes made it hard to care. Dusty would finally win the title in July, so at least they did pay it off at some point.

Say it with me: and there’s no title change Flair was thrown over the top earlier on, meaning it’s a DQ.

Road Warriors vs. Russians

Ellering is here with the Warriors. That would be Ivan Koloff/Krusher Khrushchev with Nikita Koloff on the floor. Animal wastes no time in gorilla pressing Koloff and hands it off to Hawk for some right hands. Krusher comes in and cranks on a wristlock but Hawk shoves him away without much trouble. A big boot and backdrop have Krusher in trouble and Animal gets in a slam to make it even worse.

Koloff comes back in and slugs away at Hawk, who chokes him to take over instead. Animal even sneaks in a low blow to keep him down, followed by more choking. Krusher finally embraces his inner evil Russian by low bridging Animal to the floor for the first opening. We hit the neck crank but Animal rakes the eyes to escape, which is something so simple that few ever think of it.

That and a hot shot aren’t enough for the tag to Hawk though and it’s a double clothesline with Koloff for a double knockdown. Animal finally gets over for the tag and the house cleaning is on. Koloff is busted open and the blood all over Hawk’s chest is quite the visual. Everything breaks down and the Russians try to switch but Ellering stops the count and points out the switch, meaning it’s a DQ win for the Warriors at 10:45.

Rating: C-. It might not have been the best match in the world but the energy was there and this is another match that gives you a layup on paper. How can you not get fired up about an American power team against a trio of EVIL Russians (who happen to be monsters in their own right) in 1985? Hence why this feud lasted for a long time.

Post match the brawl continues with Ellering getting knocked down until the Warriors clear the ring.

AWA World Title: Rick Martel vs. Stan Hansen

Hansen is challenging. They slug it out at the bell, because slugging it out with STAN HANSEN is a good idea. Martel hits a crossbody to send him outside so Hansen throws in a chair, which is quickly disposed of. Back in and Martel armdrags him into an armbar, which is probably smarter than trading punches. Naturally the fans declare this boring, because they’re quite a fickle bunch.

Hansen breaks the armbar without much trouble and dumps him outside to keep up the brawling. That doesn’t last long as Martel is right back to the arm with a legdrop and a short armscissors. Hansen gets up and slams him down again as it’s the back vs. the arm so far. To mix things up a bit, Martel takes him down and drops a leg on the arm. At least this time he goes with an armbar for something a little different.

Hansen comes up with a backbreaker and some ax handles to the back. A gutwrench suplex gets two but Hansen’s splash hits raised knees. Martel’s own slam gets two but his back gives out on a suplex attempt. The abdominal stretch goes on until Martel can get out with a small package for two. His back is done though and Hansen puts on a Boston crab but leans his head onto the turnbuckle (completely legal) so Martel can’t kick out. Martel taps like crazy and finally gives up 14:00.

Rating: D+. The back vs. arm stuff was a fine idea but the execution was lame. There is only so much that you can get when the match is spent on a series of armbars and armscissors with Hansen hitting him in the back in between. The ending was very smart though and something I don’t remember seeing done again. Martel was a nice breath of air for the title but was anyone buying him as a top star?

Overall Rating: D. That’s how you end Christmas I guess. The ECW match was nothing, the AWA show was your usual boring event that only appealed to the hometown fans and the Pro Wrestling USA show was one of the worst things I can remember save for one or two bright spots. This is another situation where you can understand why things were hidden and it’s better if they stay that way in cases like this one.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

No image on this one, because I don’t want to spoil the impact.

Hidden Gems #2
Date: 1989

So when I originally put this on the schedule, it was entirely for the sake of the AWA Team Challenge show which got….interesting reviews, shall we say for reasons of general insanity. Since I started doing the rest of the years though, I might as well do the entire year, which is quite the eclectic collection this time around. Let’s get to it.

For the sake of simplicity, I’ll do these in order from the date they aired, starting with the earliest.

From February 23, 1989 in Florida.

Gordon Solie and Diamond Dallas Page (back when he was a heel commentator with some big hair) are with Oliver Humperdink (a heel manager) at the announcers’ desk with Oliver not being happy about Dusty Rhodes. Lately Dusty has brought out his son Dustin, who needs to be taken care of. Therefore, Humperdink is calling in Terry Funk to eradicate Dustin so Dusty will give up. Terry isn’t here yet, but he’s sent in a video for our visual enjoyment.

Funk, standing in front of a big wooden cutout labeled Dusty, has a new word for us. The word is a Dusty, which is a 150lb frame, with 50lbs of added fat, 50lbs of added obesity and 50lbs of added hot air, giving you a 300lb blob. Terry whips out a chainsaw and cuts off the wooden arms and head before hacking away the painted on heart. That leaves you with a heartless jackass, and if you breed that with a thick tongued barmaid, you get a Dustin, who is too stupid to say no, he won’t get in the ring with Terry Funk. Well, that was absolutely terrifying and we’ll move on as fast as possible.

From a WWA show promoted by the AWA. Note that this is VERY late in the match with about nine minutes shown of a match that ran thirty. It was also broadcast in Japan, as you can hear the Japanese commentary under the English commentary. Also of note: former World Champion Pat O’Connor is guest referee.

Rock N Roll Express vs. British Bulldogs
Date: February 23, 1989
Location: Memorial Hall, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 300
Commentators: Ray Stevens, Greg Gagne

Joined in progress with Dynamite Kid dropping a knee onto Ricky Morton’s back and slapping on an armbar. Bulldog comes in for an armbar of his own as there are more empty seats than filled ones. Morton gets thrown outside as we hit the 25 minute mark. With the fans looking bored out of their minds, Greg talks about them being up for the entire match. I know they can see the match, so why like about something that is clearly wrong? I’ve never gotten that.

It’s back to Bulldog, who misses a top rope knee but still breaks up the hot tag attempt. Morton finally rolls over for the hot tag to Robert Gibson and everything breaks down. Gibson gets one off the slowest one count ever off a backdrop and then suplexes Dynamite with two minutes left. It’s back to Ricky for two off a piledriver, followed by the double dropkick for another slow two. A small package gets the same and we have thirty seconds. Smith and Gibson both try dropkicks and it’s back to Dynamite for an exchange of small packages as the time limit expires at 7:14 shown.

Rating: D. It’s really not fair to rate the last fifth or so of a match but what we got wasn’t all that great. The wrestling wasn’t anything to see but then again these teams were WAY passed their primes by this point anyway. I certainly don’t think I’d want to see the full version, but it’s certainly fine for an historical curiosity if nothing else.

Post match Badd Company, the Tag Team Champions, say they’re ready to face any team. They’re particularly ready to face Ricky Rice and Derrick Dukes (the Top Guns), who must be dreaming if they think they’re getting the titles. Ok then.

From May 13, 1989 in Sarasota, Florida in the PWF (Professional Wrestling Federation), Dusty Rhodes’ promotion. As you can probably guess by the name of Dusty’s opponent, it didn’t even make it a year.

PWF World Title: Dusty Rhodes vs. Big Steele Man
Date: May 13, 1989
Location: Robarts Arena, Sarasota, Florida
Commentator: Gordon Solie

In a cage with Dusty defending and that would be Tugboat/Typhoon/Shockmaster. Makes sense as they’re brothers-in-law, along with Jerry Sags (there’s your trivia for the day). This is in a cage and joined in progress again with Dusty going after Man’s manager, Oliver Humperdink (hey it’s a theme collection). Man hammers away in the corner but Dusty gets in the ten right hands to take over again. The Bionic Elbow keeps Man in trouble and he gets sent head first into the cage as the blood is flowing.

Man gets smart enough to grab a bearhug but Dusty hiptosses his way to freedom, only to miss the big elbow. A right hand knocks Dusty into the referee and of course Dusty hits the big elbow a few seconds later. Humperdink comes in (because the cage door is worthless) but gets punched back. Dusty hits a suplex but Diamond Dallas Page, Steel’s other manager, throws in a towel. Apparently it’s covered in something to knock Dusty out, meaning….well nothing actually as we’re clipped to a still of Man holding up the title at about 4:20.

Rating: D-. I’ve seen a full show from these guys before and the regular thing wasn’t that much better. This was slow and plodding and little more than a way for Dusty to have a foil, even though both of them would be in the WWF in about two months. That being said, what else were you expecting from Dusty vs. Tugboat in a serious match?

And now, for the reason I wanted to watch this in the first place.

Team Challenge Series Pilot
Date: October 23, 1989
Commentators: Ralph Strangis, Greg Gagne

So back in the late 1980s, the AWA was, uh, bad. Like, really bad. Their answer was this big series of gimmick matches with a big scoring system and the entire roster split up into three teams. This was called the Team Challenge Series and what we have here is described as an unreleased home video pilot special. I’m sure this will be FASCINATING. Let’s get to it.

We open with a montage, featuring cheerleaders in very 80s bikinis chanting YAY YAY YAY FOR THE AWA, plus the American flag, a concert and wrestling. I guess this is Verne Gagne’s idea of patriotism?

Verne, with his dog, introduces the concept. He’s so excited about this concept with new technology (remember that) that he might come out of retirement one more time. I mean, would that really surprise anyone?

Our hosts and commentators, Ralph Strangis and Greg Gagne promise us some great new stuff over the next sixty minutes. The video is less than forty, making me think that either this company can’t count or something has been edited. Guess which I’m leaning towards. Greg says we’ll be able to feel the armdrags and dropkicks. Well his partner had a great dropkick so I’ll take what I can get.

Tommy Jammer vs. Tom Burton

Let me stop you right here. See, around this time the AWA wasn’t doing well with drawing audiences. That would be the case here, so this is how they solved the problem. An example of the entrances:

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–vp4tqpRy–/c_scale,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/qi1tuiyejvukan52kmcq.jpg

Now, in case that’s not enough for you, there are no fans in the “arena”, which appears to be a small, dimly lit room. Not that you can tell how big it is, when the lights go as far as where the first row would be. Now, to compensate for the lack of the fans, we do get some extreme closeups of some random people, presumably watching anything but this show. And now, the match.

Burton armdrags him down and we hear about the great technology: slow motion. Yes I said SLOW MOTION. Now for those of you unfamiliar with the history of slow motion….well you’re pretty common actually. From what I can find, the earliest usage of slow motion in television was first used on television in 1939, or FIFTY YEARS before this aired.

Back to the match, we cut to some fans giving a thumbs down sign at what appears to be a restaurant or a bar, with a brick wall and a bottle of ketchup visible. Now, considering it’s a well lit scene and the arena is about as well lit as an old school NWA arena, I’m thinking something is afoot. Or astupid. Burton hits a simple slam and that’s enough for a slow motion replay.

Jammer makes a comeback and we go to a far too close camera angle, with the camera seemingly inside the ring. That sounds cool in theory, but when it’s so close that you can’t see Jammer as he slams Burton, it might be a little too close. Oh and where is Jammer’s slow motion replay? Jammer gets an armdrag and we change camera angles, followed by another armdrag and another cut to some woman at what might be a different bar. A powerslam and a splash (called the Surfer Splash on the original call and the Jammer Splash on the replay) finish Burton at 1:46.

We go to Baron Von Raschke and Sgt. Slaughter, with the former being listed as the captain of the Blitzers. His man Paul Diamond is ready to face Slaughter’s (captain of the Snipers) Colonel DeBeers (Isn’t a colonel above a sergeant?) in what sounds like an over the top rope challenge.

Now it’s clear that these two are on different teams, but we still have no idea what the teams are, who is on them, how many teams there are, how they were determined, what they’re fighting for, or ANYTHING about the concept other than the fact that there is a concept at hand. I have a feeling this is going to get even worse as we keep go forward.

The announcers don’t like the Destruction Crew. Of note: it sounds like this was a TV show that was released on video. That would explain the time issue earlier, but it’s not really clear either way.

The Destruction Crew (Mike Enos and Wayne Bloom, better known as the Beverly Brothers in the WWF) swing sledgehammers at a green screen of a hotel being demolished. They’re ready to destroy things. Or maybe people. This was a Demolition knockoff.

Destruction Crew vs. Jerry Lynn/Ricky Rice

This would be the second time Rice has been mentioned today in what is likely the only two times he’s been mentioned in about twenty five years. The Crew has Luscious Johnny V in their corner. We get more shots of fans in what is very clearly a different location. This is described as being “just like at a sports bar”. So wait: is watching the show live like it’s in a sports bar, or is the show supposed to be in a sports bar? Are they saying the fans are watching this from elsewhere or are they supposed to be in the arena? I would assume the former, but egads this is far more complicated than it should be.

Rice gets armdragged (popular move tonight) down to start and Enos shoulders him for a bonus. Some wristlocks have Enos in trouble and it’s off to Lynn….as the fans seem pleased. That would make you believe that the fans are supposed to be in the arena, meaning this is supposed to be in the sports bars shown. Lynn, who looks nothing like he would ten years later in ECW, stays on the arm as we can see the ceiling, which is far higher than it was in the bar shots earlier.

Bloom comes in and gets his arm worked on as well until he misses a flying shoulder in the corner, which is good for more slow motion….which shows the ceiling again, this time with the wall included, meaning there is no way there could be actual fans in the arena. Valiant offers a distraction so Enos can get in a knee to the back from the apron. The Crew takes over and it’s an Oklahoma Stampede into a shoulderbreaker. Bloom hits a powerslam for…well just one at first before we go to the slow motion replay. A Doomsday Device finishes Lynn at 4:38.

Rating: D. It’s not helping when the matches aren’t exactly good. Lynn and Rice were the most basic face team you could fine and nothing more than jobbers here, but the more fascinating part is…well just pick something. I’m still trying to figure out the crowd situation, which is far more interesting than the wrestling itself.

The replay shows that Lynn’s face and head never came close to touching the mat. Greg: “He may have a broken neck!”

Post match Eric Bischoff (with huge hair) talks to Johnny and the Crew (great band name) who just talk about how awesome they are. Only Bischoff mentions the team concept, and the fact that the Crew is on Larry Zbyszko’s (unnamed) team. No word on who Lynn and Rice play for.

The announcers think that the Crew is destined for one thing: the Tag Team Titles. Not winning points or anything related to the Series, but the titles, which may or may not be a part of the Series. You know what is part of the Series? Of course not, because we still haven’t been told about it nearly fifteen minutes in.

Slaughter explains what sounds like the main event, which is an over the top rope challenge, called a King of the Hill match. DeBeers better win tonight or he’s going to disgrace America. Note that DeBeers is from South Africa.

DeBeers, standing in front of a flag which isn’t from South Africa, talks about being in the South African military and says that while he hasn’t lost a war, he’s had some casualties. From now on, Slaughter needs to communicate through the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Tonight, he’s winning for South Africa.

The announcers FINALLY tell us something about the Series: the teams were picked at random. And we move on to Beverly Hills.

We get a foxy boxing match (meaning women basically in lingerie boxing) with a ring surrounded by women in actual lingerie. The Blonde Bomber jumps Slaughterhouse Sean before the bell as we hear about their managers. The camera goes to alternating first person views as round one ends. Apparently the beating continues, though we’re looking at the Bomber’s manager Mustang Sally instead.

Ralph actually explains the rules here, even as the Bomber jumps Sean from behind and puts on a chinlock. A snap suplex gets two and the referee tells her to put the gloves back on. Sean blocks a kick in the corner and hits a heck of a right hand to knock the Bomber silly as round two ends.

The third and final (thank goodness…maybe) round begins with Sally choking Sean from the apron, losing her shirt, and coming in for a backbreaker. They punch each other and it’s a double knockdown with Sean beating the count to win. From what I can tell, this has nothing to do with the Series, but it was some weird MMA predecessor with managers doing bad run-ins as a bonus. In other words, this was hilarious and amazing.

Greg explains the rules and concept of the whole thing, which makes enough sense, assuming you forgive this explanation coming over halfway through the whole show.

And here are the standings:

Larry’s Legends – 16

Baron’s Blitzers – 15

Sarge’s Snipers – 13

Of course there have already been 44 points given out when we haven’t seen an actual match on the pilot yet. From what I can find, the Series started on October 1. This video is dated October 23, so assuming a point a match (and we have to assume since we haven’t been told anything otherwise), there have been an average of two matches a day, every day, since the thing took place. Also, this would suggest that it’s a TV show, because you probably wouldn’t put “current” standings on a home video release. Then again I have no reason to believe that any matches have actually taken place at this point so who knows.

Just to make it even more confusing, Diamond says this is the beginning of the Series and he’s in the first match. So yeah, there are just points for the teams despite the Series not even starting yet. This just keeps getting better and better.

Paul Diamond vs. Colonel DeBeers

Over the top rope challenge. It should be noted that during the entrances with the fake crowds, the wrestlers are turning to the left and walking into the people, just in case you thought they might be real you see. Ralph: “We are watching this with you, live from satellite base. From sea to shining sea, in sports bars and in your homes. This is the new AWA. Ralph Strangis and Greg Gagne ringside.” They can’t even go three sentences without screwing something up!

Also, if this is possibly released on home video (which makes sense if this is the first match), then how are they supposed to be watching it at a bar? And are these all bars in the Minnesota area? Or is it like some worldwide watch party where everyone got a pre-release copy of this tape and they’re all watching it together?

The bigger DeBeers shoulders him down to start but gets caught in a flying headscissors. Diamond misses a crossbody in the corner though and DeBeers tries to get him out, showing some actual thinking here for the first time on this whole thing. A dropkick grazes DeBeers and we look at the slow motion replay to prove how badly it missed. DeBeers snapmares him down and hits a top rope headbutt, followed by a kick to the ribs to knock him over the top and out to the apron.

Another headbutt misses and we take a slow motion look at DeBeers going face first into the buckle. Some right hands get DeBeers out of trouble and we crank up the crowd noise again. DeBeers rolls outside (legal) and drives some elbows into the chest before heading back inside. A piledriver is reversed into a backdrop though and Diamond gets the win for….some to be announced amount of points at 5:49.

Rating: D. Again, it’s not even the worst wrestling ever. DeBeers and Diamond are talented enough guys that they could work a completely watchable match. This was fine for what it was, even with a little drama on some of the near tosses. It’s just everything else thrown in there leaves you with so many questions.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. The Terminator

I believe the Terminator is Marcus Laurinaitis, Animal and Johnny Ace’s brother. The ring is heavily mic’d here so we’re getting a lot of extra trash talk, somehow with no swearing included. It’s so weird seeing Slaughter with hair. Slaughter hits a forearm to the chest and we see it in SLOW MOTION WITH MIC’D UP SOUND!!! I CAN’T HANDLE THIS MUCH TECHNOLOGY! They demand that the other show them toughness so Slaughter drop toeholds him down into a headlock.

Back up and a better than expected crossbody gives Slaughter two and he wants to hear it from the fans. This includes kids, who are always welcome at sports bars. Terminator can’t slam Slaughter, who falls onto him for two. Back up and some rakes to the eyes have Slaughter in trouble, followed by a ram into the post. It doesn’t last long though as Slaughter hits a backdrop and a dropkick to the shoulder. The Slaughter Cannon (middle rope clothesline) allows Slaughter to play to the non-existent crowd (I get the idea but…come on.) and the Cobra Clutch gives Slaughter the win at 6:38.

Rating: D. It’s not like the match was much worse than the others, but that whole playing to the non-existent crowd was a bit too much. Slaughter was probably the biggest star in the promotion at this point and it makes sense to feature him on…whatever this is actually supposed to be.

Post match Slaughter…doesn’t really have anything to say.

We get a quick preview for next week (Again, video or not?), including a very young Yokozuna, to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: A+. This was incredible, with everything going wrong in every possible way and turning the whole thing into one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen. It didn’t make sense, the wrestling was crazy, and the entire show was such a blast to watch. It was the kind of thing that you have to see to believe and it’s absolutely incredible in a train wreck sense.

Normally I would list off a bunch of stuff that they did wrong here but there isn’t enough space to do that justice. This was a perfect storm of awful as the AWA continues to have no idea how to get out of the downward spiral they were in. The company was long past the point where they should have pulled the plug and instead we get a show where Slow Motion is the next big thing in wrestling technology.

Really, this is something that you need to see to believe because words can’t do it justice. Just watch it for a few minutes and see if you can look away. The entire concept was a mess in the first place and then there’s….whatever you want to call this thing. It’s such an incredible spectacle and one of the few things that ever had me nearly speechless. Go out of your way to check this out and just have a good time with how insane the thing really is.

Here’s the show on the Network. You owe yourself this one.

http://network.wwe.com/video/v2518758883

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Starrcade 1987
Date: November 26, 1987
Location: UIC Pavilion, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross

The main event here is a cage match between NWA World Champion Ronnie Garvin and Ric Flair.  Garvin won the title a few weeks back with the sole purpose of losing it to Flair here.  In a logic that I’ll never understand, everyone else said no except for Garvin because no one else wanted to be a lame duck World Champion.  Other than the Garvin vs. Flair title match, the other major match is the Road Warriors facing the Horsemen (Arn and Tully) for the tag titles in the Warriors’ hometown of Chicago. Let’s get to it.

We open with an intro sequence that looks like it’s out of a bad 1980s sitcom. It’s a bunch of headshots of the wrestlers with bad music in the background.

The arena looks huge but very smoky.

Sting/Jimmy Garvin/Michael Hayes vs. Eddie Gilbert/Larry Zbyszko/Rick Steiner

This is right after Jim Crockett acquired the UWF, so a lot of these guys are making their big time debuts. Gilbert was a big deal back there, as was Hayes. Sting didn’t mean anything at this point, but he would have his day very soon. He had recently left Gilbert’s stable in the UWF so they have a built in feud already. Steiner jumps Sting to start but misses a charge and falls to the floor. Sting dives out onto him as the lighting is really bad here. It looks like the lights haven’t been turned all the way on.

As they head back in, Sting hits a missile dropkick as everything breaks down. Sting’s team clears the ring until we get down to Hayes vs. Steiner. Michael pounds on the arm for a bit and it’s off to Garvin. Michael and Jimmy would wind up as a tag team in a few years but here’s they’re just randomly paired together. Off to Larry to fight Garvin and it’s time to stall already. Larry was legendary for stalling and it drove a lot of people crazy, myself included.

Back to Hayes who grabs Larry by the nose and pounds away. Michael struts and moon walks to get the crowd fired up as it’s off to Gilbert. Hayes avoids a right hand and struts some more before sending Eddie into the corner. Back to Sting as things speed up a bit, but at this point he’s not capable of carrying a match on his own. Sting grabs an armbar on Steiner and it’s off to Garvin for more basic offense on Rick.

Steiner takes him into the heel corner and it’s off to Larry for a spinning kick to Garvin’s ribs. A powerslam gets two for Rick and it’s off to Gilbert for an atomic drop. Gilbert stays on the back for a bit but misses an elbow drop. It’s not enough for the tag out though as Steiner comes in for the save. Off to a bearhug to further the punishment on Garvin’s back but Jimmy fights out. Larry saves another hot tag and puts on an abdominal stretch. Garvin finally hiptosses his way out of it and it’s off to Sting to pick up the pace.

Everything breaks down but Gilbert comes in with a cheap shot to the back to take Sting down. Eddie sends him out to the floor for a bit before throwing him back in for some triple teaming. It doesn’t seem to do much good as Sting counters a Zbyzsko suplex, only to be stopped by Steiner.

Sting avoids a charge from Larry and it’s off to Hayes with less than two minutes to go in the time limit. Everything breaks down and the good guys all pound away on a bad guy in a different corner. The DDT gets two for Hayes on Larry but he’s in the ropes. One minute to go as Steiner breaks up a sleeper on Larry. Steiner comes in legally for a bearhug of all things before turning it into a belly to belly suplex. Everything breaks down again and the time runs out with no winner.

Rating: C. This was probably the best opener the series has had yet and it’s very obvious that that’s not saying much. The main idea here was to introduce most of these people to the Jim Crockett audience and it only worked to a degree. Steiner actually came off looking the most polished here, but Hayes would have the immediate success. Sting would be several months away from his big break.

UWF Title: Steve Williams vs. Barry Windham

As mentioned, this is the final days of the title as it would be retired the next month. Williams is defending and is basically the Brock Lesnar of the 1980s: an All-American football player and a top level collegiate wrestler who looked and wrestled like a monster. If nothing else he has an awesome nickname of Dr. Death. Windham was considered the future of the company and potentially the business at this point, regularly tearing the house down with Flair everywhere they went. He’s also the Western States Heritage Champion, which might be the most worthless title in wrestling history.

We start with a crisscross before Williams throws Windham down and presses him over his head with ease. Considering Windham is 6’6, that’s rather impressive. Jim Ross LOVES Oklahoma so he’s a big time fanboy for Williams here. Windham tries to take it to the mat but can’t do anything with a wrestler the quality of Williams. Instead they take it to the floor and it’s a standoff. Back in and Williams easily suplexes out of a headlock, so Windham muscles him over with a gutwrench suplex of his own.

Williams puts on a headlock and Barry suplexes him down but this time the hold isn’t broken. It shifts into a chinlock but Barry shakes him off. They’re still in first gear here. They trade go behinds and Williams tries a leapfrog but Barry accidentally headbutts him very low. Barry stands around instead of going in for the kill and even stops the referee from counting Williams down.

Steve walks around holding his groin as the stalling continues. Windham finally takes him down with a headlock so Williams counters into a headscissors. That’s good for another standoff followed by a missed flying something from Barry, sending him over the top and onto the announce table. Back in and Williams grabs a quick rolling cradle to retain.

Rating: D. This was nothing and you can’t really blame the injury for it. They were looking terrible before the accidental headbutt and after that it somehow fell apart even more. I’m not sure what was going on here as these two are WAY too talented to have such a horrible match. To this day I’m confused by this match.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express

This is another Skywalkers (scaffold) match which is an odd choice for these guys. These two teams redefined tag team wrestling with their incredible series of matches, so the company decides to put them in a match with no wrestling involved in it at all? The Midnights are the now Bobby Eaton and Stan Lane and they’re the US Tag Team Champions but this is non-title. They also have Cornette and Bubba with them.

Both teams are skeptical to go up but after over a minute and a half of waiting, everyone goes up top. Actually scratch that as Bubba pulls Morton down as he’s climbing and spikes him down onto the mat to give the Midnights a two on one advantage. Bubba tries to climb up as well but Morton gets up and steals Cornette’s tennis racket. A few shots to the back keeps Bubba down and Morton climbs up, still holding the racket. Eaton gets whacked a few times as well as the fighting really gets going.

Morton knocks Eaton around with the racket as Gibson pounds on Lane on the other end of the scaffold. Eaton busts out his trusty powder to blind Ricky and now Gibson is double teamed. Ricky gets the tennis racket back to stagger Bobby with as all four guys head back to the ends of the scaffold. Eaton drops the racket to the mat as Lane climbs under the scaffold.

Cornette throws the racket up to Eaton again so he can pound on Robert’s back. Morton heads under the scaffold to get at Stan, eventually kicking him down to the mat. Eaton and Gibson are up top still though until Ricky goes up too. The Rock N Roll finally knocks him down over the edge and down to the mat for the win. I know the ending sounds sudden but there really isn’t much else to it than that.

Rating: D+. Just like last year, what can you really expect from a match like this? They can’t do much without risking a very serious injury but you don’t want the fans to be bored out of their minds either. These guys had some of the best tag team matches ever when they were on the ground floor and I have no idea why they were given this gimmick of all things.

Post match Bubba goes up to fight Morton on the top, but, I kid you not, Morton points off in the distance to distract Bubba, allowing Morton to kick him in the groin and climb down. Ricky steals Bubba’s hat and coat for good measure.

NWA TV Title/UWF TV Title: Nikita Koloff vs. Terry Taylor

This is a unification match between the two Television Titles. Taylor has Eddie Gilbert with him as backup. Taylor grabs a headlock to start but is easily run over by a shoulder block. They head to the corner and amazingly enough we get a clean break. We go to another corner and Taylor tries a cheap shot, only to get punched in the face by Nikita. Taylor cranks on the arm so Nikita sticks his tongue out at him and puts on an armbar of his own.

Terry headbutts out of the hold but Nikita rams him shoulder first into the buckle. More right hands have no effect at all and Nikita cranks away on the wristlock into a hammerlock. Koloff muscles him down into a cover but Taylor makes the ropes and heads outside. Back in and Taylor talks some trash, earning himself a slap in the face. A backdrop gets two on Terry and its time for more stalling on the floor.

Nikita gets tired of waiting and pulls Taylor back in so he can put the hammerlock right back on. After a rope breaks saves Taylor, he pounds on Nikita in the corner but misses an elbow drop. Back to the armbar which has dominated this match so far. They get back up again and Taylor pounds away, only to be choked to the mat. The Russian Sickle misses though and Nikita charges into the buckle. They head outside with Taylor ramming Nikita’s shoulder into the post to take over.

The match slows down a lot as Taylor’s offense isn’t exactly suited to beat on someone like Koloff. He stays on the arm but can’t bring Nikita down into a sunset flip. Koloff blocks a suplex and takes the smaller guy down with a suplex of his own. Nikita has enough of the pounding and fights back with a bunch of right hands in the corner. Taylor comes out with an atomic drop to get two of his own and Koloff’s momentum is stopped cold.

A rollup gets two for Nikita as the fans are finally starting to get into the match. Terry loads up a piledriver but gets backdropped down and punched in the face. They head to the floor again but Gilbert hits Koloff in the knee to give Nikita control again. Off to a figure four on the Russian which gets a few near falls (the figure four can be used as a pin if the guy in the hold doesn’t raise his arms). Koloff finally gets the ropes and beats up Gilbert before hitting the Sickle on Taylor for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me. It was nearly twenty minutes long and way too much of that was spent in a hammerlock. I’ve never been a fan of Taylor but at least Koloff was there with the hard hitting stuff to make things somewhat interesting. This wasn’t terrible but it was too long and dull for what it was worth.

Tag Titles: Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard vs. Road Warriors

The Warriors are challenging in their hometown of Chicago. Arn and Hawk start things off with Hawk taking him down via a top wristlock. Anderson is sent to the floor for a staredown with the Warriors’ manager Paul Ellering. Off to Tully who is almost immediately sent to the floor. Animal will have none of this stalling though and sends him right back inside. Hawk pounds away even more and hits a dropkick for a quick near fall.

Off to Animal who catches Blanchard coming in off the top in a powerslam for another two count. Arn comes back in and manages to avoid a charge in the corner, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline from Animal. Blanchard tries to come in but gets punched right in the jaw as well. Both Horsemen try to go after Hawk, only to get clotheslined down for a near fall on Blanchard. Total dominance by the Warriors so far.

Back to Animal for a bearhug plus a right hand from Hawk. Animal drops Tully down and Blanchard goes bailing to the corner. A dropkick to the ribs puts Blanchard down again so he tags in Anderson. Animal has to chase Arn on the floor before coming back inside to gorilla press him down. A press slam on Tully by Hawk is broken up by Arn hitting Hawk in the knee and the Horsemen FINALLY take over.

Tully adds in a chair shot to Hawk’s knee on the floor and a DDT gets two for Arn back in the ring. Blanchard’s figure four is countered into a small package so Tully pounds on the knee a bit more instead. Arn’s spinning toehold is broken up but here’s Tully again for the figure four. For some reason he tags in Anderson with Hawk still in the hold, and it’s Anderson who gets crotched to allow the hot tag to Animal. Everything breaks down and Tully accidentally knocks the referee to the floor before Hawk throws Anderson the floor. Back in and there’s the Doomsday Device on Arn for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. This took awhile to get going but once the Road Warriors got rolling it got awesome in a hurry. They’re such a physical and dominant team that it’s almost impossible to not get fired up watching them. The leg work here by the Horsemen was much more interesting than say the arm work by Taylor, as they have the size and ability to make you believe the Warriors were in trouble.

Oh and scratch that title change because Anderson was thrown over the top, meaning the Warriors are disqualified and the Horsemen keep the belts. Say it with me: Dusty Finish. The fans boo this out of the building and with good reason. Who does this help? The Warriors look inept because they didn’t get the win, the Horsemen look like weak champions because they got pinned, and the fans are mad because at STARRCADE we can’t change the belts. Just a dumb idea all around.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Dusty Rhodes

Luger is defending and if he wins, Dusty is suspended for ninety days. This is also inside of a cage. Luger had recently turned on Dusty to join the Horsemen, angering the fat man. Legend Johnny Weaver has the key at ringside. They circle each other as Dusty pretends to have a physique to match Luger, who would be a guest performer on some bodybuilding shows a few years after this. Both guys seem tentative to start things off here. Luger pounds away to start but misses his big jumping elbow. Dusty goes to an armbar and pounds an elbow into the shoulder. The armbar stays on for a LONG time, as per Dusty’s custom.

Luger finally pushes him into the corner….but it’s right back to the armbar. Rhodes pounds on the arm in the shoulder but takes a knee to the fat stomach to put him down. Dusty goes face first into the cage and we’ve got some blood on the challenger’s head. A clothesline gets two for Luger and the beating begins. The big jumping elbow gets two on Dusty but Luger takes too long, allowing Dusty to hit a HORRIBLE dropkick to put both guys down.

Lex can’t quite Rack (his finisher is the Human Torture Rack, meaning he puts Dusty over his shoulders and bends Dusty’s back around Luger’s own neck) Dusty so he pounds away instead. Now it’s off to an armbar on Dusty to take him down, despite Luger spending the entire match working on the back so far. They get back up and a pull of Dusty’s hair takes him right back down. Luger pounds away in the corner and Dusty just stands there without reacting at all.

Instead he flips Luger off and pounds away before hitting a bad DDT to put both guys down again. Off to a sleeper by Rhodes with him jumping on Luger’s back for good measure. JJ Dillon, Luger’s manager, blasts Weaver with a chair before throwing said chair into the cage. Lex escapes the hold and spends a LONG time bending over to pick up the chair, allowing Dusty to “DDT” him onto the chair for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. This sucked for the most part, as Dusty spent WAY too much time laying around on the mat before we had that really lame ending. There’s no reason for Dusty to win this title other than he was the booker and decided he wanted it, especially given how Luger was the future of the company at this point. Terrible match with a bad looking finish to top it off here.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Ron Garvin

This is also in a cage with Garvin defending, having won the world title in September and then basically disappearing for two months because no one wanted to job to a guy who was going to lose the title in a few months anyway. Flair gets a tremendous ovation while Garvin is pretty much booed out of the midwest. They chop it out to start with Flair losing as it’s early in the match. We get the Flair Flop followed by a backdrop by the champion into an armbar.

Garvin pounds away in the corner with ten punches and Flair is in trouble. With Flair down we get the Garvin Stomp, meaning Garvin stomps in a circle, hitting every limb and culminating with the head. Flair wins a slugout but hits Garvin low to take him down. An atomic drop has flair in even more trouble and a big knee drop gets two on the champion. It’s time to go after the leg and just a few seconds later it’s off to the Figure Four. Flair cheats by using the ropes but Garvin finally turns the hold over, leading to a break.

Back up and the champion blocks a shot into the cage. He blocks a second one and manages to send Flair into the cage a few times in a row. Flair has his forehead raked across the cage before tasting the steel again. Garvin bites Flair’s head to bust him open as they go to the top rope. Flair falls down before getting some hard chops in the corner from Garvin. After an elbow to the head, Ric goes up but gets slammed down as per his custom. Garvin puts on his own figure four but Flair makes the ropes pretty quickly.

Ron rams him into the cage and gets two off a top rope cross body and the same off a backslide. The fans are starting to get into this a bit. More chops have Flair in trouble and they go up top again. Ric gets crotched on the top rope and Garvin tries the top rope sunset flip which won him the title a few months ago. This time though Flair falls forward and grabs the ropes for two. Garvin pounds away in the corner but Flair shoves him off and crushes the referee. Ron hits his big right hand for two and sends Garvin into the cage for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. It’s not a bad match, but at the end of the day no one bought Garvin as having a change to hold the title here. Flair winning the title back isn’t really a big moment but the reaction from the fans was odd, given that Ric was the big face here. Garvin would never come close to this point again, which he likely shouldn’t have.

Overall Rating: D. This just didn’t work. It’s not a horrible show, but at the same time there’s nothing on here worth looking at whatsoever. The best match is probably the main event and that’s just ok at best. There’s just nothing to see here at all and the fans didn’t care either. The WWF dominated this night by having almost every cable provider air their far better show. Just not a good show, although it’s still better than 1984 by far.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Someone requested this a little while back so here you go.  Also, if you like this, I have a whole e-book of Starrcade reviews available right here.

https://www.amazon.com/KBs-History-Starrcade-Thomas-Hall-ebook/dp/B00D2UKOG0

Starrcade 1984
Date: November 22, 1984
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gordon Solie, Bob Caudle

There isn’t much else to say here. Other than the main event all we’ve really got is Tully Blanchard vs. Ricky Steamboat for the TV Title. There are a bunch of title matches but it’s for stuff like the Brass Knuckles Title, the Florida Title and the Junior Heavyweight Title. This show just isn’t remembered that well at all. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of the end of Flair vs. Race with Flair winning the title. A year later and Flair is much more of a tweener than a clear face as he was the previous year.

The announcers talk about the main event as the lights go out behind them. Some music plays and some lights flash as I guess this is the intro. Now there’s a spotlight on the ring and announcer Tom Miller introduces us to the show.

Junior Heavyweight Title: Denny Brown vs. Mike Davis

This would be the equivalent of the Cruiserweight Title back in the day but even less important. Davis is defending and I’ve never heard of either guy aside from this one single match. Brown seems to be the more popular one and takes early control with some dropkicks and headscissors. Off to an armbar on Davis for a LONG time but he comes back with some shots tot he back followed by a few slams.

Brown snaps off a forearm to the face but his back is too banged up to take advantage. Davis slugs him into the corner but walks into a dropkick for two. Back up and they collide to send both guys down. Back up and Davis tries a belly to back suplex into a bridge but Brown raises his shoulder for the surprise pin and the title.

Rating: D+. What in the world were they thinking here? Neither guy is a name whatsoever, the match was really boring and the ending was confusing (the announcer said Davis retained), making this one of the weakest opening matches I can ever remember. That’s not a good sign for a show with such a weak card already.

Tony Schiavone is in Flair’s dressing room….but doesn’t talk to him. Ok then.

Brian Adias vs. Mr. Ito

Ito is a career Japanese guy and Adias is a career Texas guy, which means the fans likely have no idea who either guy is. They go to the ropes to start and get a clean break. Adias is so generic it’s painful to watch. Adias takes him down with a drop toehold but Ito takes him over into a headlock. Back up and a dropkick puts Ito down and there’s a headlock by Brian. Ito armdrags him down and puts on an armbar as this is going nowhere. Adias (yes I’m spelling that right. It’s how it was spelled on his graphic) gets chopped into the corner but comes out with an airplane spin of all things for the pin.

Rating: D-. This is Starrcade right? The biggest show of the year and the show that was supposed to be the original Wrestlemania? We’ve twenty minutes into this shindig and Denny Brown vs. Mike Davis is by far and away the better of the two matches. At least last year I had heard of the people in the bad tag matches. Nothing to see here again.

The announcers actually talk about Adias for a few minutes. It’s so strange to hear what sounds like genuine talk about the match we just saw instead of hearing announcers talk about pitchmen for whatever the latest product WWE is schilling.

Florida Heavyweight Title: Jesse Barr vs. Mike Graham

Barr is defending. You might remember him as Jimmy Jack Funk from the WWF but odds are you don’t. Again, why should fans in North Carolina care about the Florida Championship? Graham immediately takes it to the mat and puts on a leg lock. Off to a chinlock on Barr but Jesse comes back with a top wristlock. Riveting stuff again if you can’t tell. It doesn’t help that both guys are in blue trunks and have similar hair. Barr’s is slightly longer so that’s as good as I can get for telling them apart.

We’re like three minutes into this now and it’s been almost all arm work. Barr takes it to the corner and bends the arm around the ropes before being reversed into a drop toehold from Graham. Back up and we get a test of strength which literally goes on for two minutes. Graham takes over with another armbar before trying his Figure Four, sending Barr into the ropes.

Barr grabs a headlock as we’re somehow nine minutes into this match and still firmly in first gear. There’s no heat to the match at all and nothing as far as a story. It’s just trading headlocks and arm holds for LONG stretches. Barr puts on another headlock and shouts about Graham pulling his trunks.

AGAIN a basic hold goes on for a long time until Graham fights out and goes for the knee. The Figure Four goes on in the middle of the ring but Barr easily makes the rope. Mike tries an atomic drop and a rollup in the corner but Barr throws his feet on the ropes for the pin to retain. The wrestlers keep going for a bit for no apparent reason.

Rating: D-. From a technical standpoint this was fine, but good night this was uninteresting. I think Barr was the heel but I’m really not for sure. After a nearly twelve minute headlock and armbar marathon I really should be able to tell which is which. This was another dreadful match in a series of them tonight.

We get a clip of Dick Slater being tied up in the corner and choked while Ricky Steamboat is beaten up by Tully Blanchard. This is BY FAR the most interesting thing tonight. Black Bart drove a boot into Steamboat’s back off the top.

Zambuie Express vs. Assassin/Buzz Tyler

This is an elimination tag match and the Express is Elijah Akeem and Kareem Muhammad, with Kareem being the guy who trained New Jack. Tyler and Assassin are apparently your good guys here. It’s a big brawl to start with the Express being sent to the floor in a hurry. We start with Tyler vs. I think Muhammad, the latter being a VERY fat guy. Both Express guys are in what looks to be military fatigues and Tyler knocks Kareem to the floor.

Off to Assassin vs. Akeem with the Express being knocked to the floor again. We get back to Muhammad vs. Tyler with Buzz getting beaten down in the corner. The Express crushes Tyler with a standing double splash but Tyler fires off some punches to come back. Everything breaks down again Akeem is sent to the floor. Tyler and Akeem are both countered out and we’re down to the Assassin vs. Muhammad. Just to keep the entire show at an awful level, the two of them collide and Assassin falls on top for the pin.

Rating: F. Another lame match here as it was a brawl for the most part and I have no idea what the point of the gimmick was. Also again the announcers weren’t sure when the match ended as they missed the countout elimination of the two guys. Assassin seemed popular but the match was such a mess you could barely tell who was legal the entire match.

Dusty Rhodes is sitting in a chair with a jacket covering him up. Is standing up too much effort for him tonight? He talks about how awesome he and Flair are but tonight we find out who the better man is.

Brass Knuckles Title: Black Bart vs. Manny Fernandez

This is a kind of Hardcore Title for lack of a better description but falls have to be in the ring. Fernandez is defending and comes out to Beat It by Michael Jackson. We go to the overhead camera like last year which is still hard to get used to. All four fists are taped up and it’s a slugout to start. Manny punches him down to start but Bart goes to the eyes. Bull (Fernandez, who was nicknamed Raging Bull) chops him back but Bart pounds him in the head.

Bart keeps pounding away on the forehead and the champion is in trouble. Actually scratch that as Manny fights up and pounds away, knocking Bart out to the floor. Back in and Manny punches Bart down, busting him open in the process. Bart goes to the ribs for a change to take over and the punching continues. Bull is knocked down and we see him from the overhead camera again. Bart can still only get two so he drops Manny throat first over the top rope. Bart tries to bring in a bullrope but gets rolled up and Manny retains his title.

Rating: C-. Is it good? Not really. Is it really even wrestling? Again, barely. However, it’s BY FAR the best match of the night so far as it was at least intense and entertaining which nothing so far has been. Also it helps to have a clear face and heel, which we’ve been completely lacking so far. Not a good match or anything but this was water in the desert by comparison to everything else.

Since we’re an hour in, here’s a seven minute intermission.

We get the ending to last year’s cage match, which is already the best thing tonight event though we only get about fifteen seconds.

Tony is with Ricky Steamboat and the lights go out so no interview.

We see the attack on Steamboat again and head back to Ricky, who has put up $10,000 for a shot at the TV Title tonight. His back is really hurt but tonight is too important to miss.

The announcers talk about the TV Title match. Apparently if Tully gets disqualified he loses the title.

JJ and Tully think there’s a conspiracy against Blanchard. Tully says Steamboat is going down and then he’s coming for the world title.

The announcers talk about the remaining matches for a bit.

Paul Jones vs. Jimmy Valiant

This is one of the longest running and most worthless feuds in wrestling history. Jones is a manager and Valiant is a good guy. This is a loser leaves town tuxedo match street fight, which means the first person to strip the other down wins. Valiant gets a GREAT pop and comes out with the Assassin while Jones has a member of the Express from earlier who isn’t important enough to specify.

Jones cowers in the corner to start before Valiant ties him to the top rope with another rope. Valiant rips off both guys’ jackets and puts one around Jones’ eyes. Valiant strips Jones down to an open shirt and underwear as this is one of those comedy matches minus the comedy. Jones loses his shirt and is in his underwear but the match continues. Valiant pounds him down and puts on a sleeper as Jones is squirting blood from his forehead. Assassin and the Zambuie guy get in and the referee goes down. JJ Dillon comes in and knocks Valiant out with a shoe, giving Jones the pin. In a tuxedo match. Why am I surprised?

Rating: F. Let’s see. Valiant wasn’t funny, Jones wound up in his underwear, and then he won by pin after three people interfered in a five minute match. Is this the show that introduced Vince Russo to the world of wrestling? ANOTHER bad match here as this is rapidly approaching the worst shows of all time. Jones and Valiant would feud into 1986 after having feuded for ten months already.

Ric Flair is serious and says that he’s ready for Dusty because the only thing sweeter than winning the title is keeping it.

Mid-Atlantic Title: Ron Bass vs. Dick Slater

This is the other fallout match from the attack on Steamboat as it was Bass helping and Slater who was tied up in the corner. Bass is defending and is also half of the Mid-Atlantic tag champions with Black Bart. Slater knocks Bass to the floor to start and it’s time to stand around. Slater chases Dillon into the ring and out to the floor as we’re still waiting on any significant contact.

Back in and Slater suckers Bass into the corner before putting on the move of the night with a headlock. Back up and we go right back into the headlock as we wouldn’t want this to get too exciting. Bass bails tot he floor but gets pulled back inside very quickly. Back in and Bass rams Slater into the buckle and caught in the ropes where Bass punches him back and forth like….something that pops right back up when it goes down.

Slater comes back with some right hands and a boot over the face. After Slater is sent to the floor, Bass pounds him down but Slater starts Hulking Up. It’s short lived though as during the comeback, Slater hits the referee. Dillon comes in and gets beaten up as well but after a slam and legdrop to Bass we get the DQ.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t as horrible as some of the other matches, but again this was nine minutes of punching and headlocks. That’s one of the major problems with this show: everything is so basic and low level that it’s almost impossible to get interested in anything. Also great job here of having Slater get revenge: by losing.

Now, a VERY slow rendition of the National Anthem to make sure we don’t get excited about anything.

Keith Larson/Ole Anderson vs. Nikita Koloff/Ivan Koloff

Larson and Anderson have Don Kernoodle with them for no apparent reason. Ok so apparently Kernoodle is Larson’s brother (despite having different names) and the Russians injured him. Makes as much sense as anything else. The Americans jump the Russians to start and the beating is on fast. We finally start with Ivan vs. Keith and the Russian’s arm being worked over.

Off to Ole to crank on the arm like an Anderson can. Both good guys stay on the arm and there’s the hammerlock slam from Ole. Off to an armbar as it’s clear we’re in for a long one tonight. Back to Keith again for a wristlock as this match keeps going. At least it doesn’t have headlocks though. The good guys make probably their eighth switch as Larson comes in to crank on the arm. Ivan finally gets some separation and goes up, only to be slammed off the top for two.

Anderson and Larson stay on the arm before Ivan FINALLY drags Anderson over to the corner for a tag off to the monster Nikita. He pounds Anderson down and puts him in a bearhug as momentum has completely swung the other direction. As is the custom tonight, the hold stays on for several minutes before Ole smacks Nikita in the head to escape. Back to Ivan who gets two off a slam.

Back to Nikita to break up a hot tag and puts on another bearhug. Anderson finally punches out of it and makes the hot tag off to Larson. Keith speeds things up but gets run over by a Russian Sickle (hooking clothesline). Everything breaks down and Kernoodle is knocked down. As Ole and Nikita fight on the floor, Ivan pins Larson off a chain shot to the head.

Rating: D+. The frustrations continue here as the heels win AGAIN. Not only does Kernoodle not get his revenge, but we have to sit through fifteen minutes of arm work to get there. It is indeed a story, but it’s a dull story. Somehow this is probably the best worked match of the night though which says a lot.

Post match Kernoodle beats up the Russians with his crutch. Good to see that a guy on a crutch and in a neck brace can beat up two monsters who just beat his brother and Ole Anderson.

TV Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Tully Blanchard

Steamboat comes out to Eye of the Tiger which is rather awesome. Blanchard is defending and both guys have put up $10,000, meaning Blanchard is getting shafted here. Also if Tully runs or gets disqualified he loses the title. They lock up to start and Tully goes after Ricky’s injured ribs. Steamboat fires back with chops and the champion heads to the floor. The crowd is HOT for this one. Back in and Steamboat suplexes Blanchard down and hooks a reverse chinlock.

Tully can’t shake him off for a bit so Steamboat knees him in the chest to take Blanchard down again. Ricky’s ribs are too banged up though and he can’t stay on Tully. An elbow to the ribs has the champion in control and he follows up with some knees to said ribs. Steamboat kicks his way out of the corner and chops away before putting on a chinlock. Blanchard fights up and gets to the ropes before hammering on Ricky’s ribs again.

Back up and they circle each other a bit with Tully backing away most of the time. Tully escapes a headlock and tries to bail, only to be rolled up for two. Steamboat pounds away in the corner and hits a kind of standing clothesline for two. In something you’ll never see again, Ricky spits in Tully’s face and chops away in the corner. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Steamboat as does a great looking dropkick. I think the champion is bleeding as Steamboat pounds away.

Tully loads up a foreign object as Steamboat tries to suplex him in from the apron and knocks Steamboat out cold……for two. That would be the ending of Tito Santana vs. Randy Savage a year and a half later. Tully’s superplex is broken up and Steamboat hits a top rope splash for two. Steamboat tries a sunset flip but Tully, right in front of the referee, pulls out the foreign object and blasts Ricky in the head with it for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B+. If this show doesn’t get a failing grade, it’s all because of this. This is one of those combinations that was going to be amazing no matter what they did due to pure talent alone. The story worked very well with the ribs being injured but Tully cheating every way he could to keep the belt. Very good match here which could have been amazing with more time.

US Title: Billy Graham vs. Wahoo McDaniel

Graham is challenging and is a kung fu master here in a dramatic gimmick change. He even comes out to Kung Fu Fighting. Tom Miller, the ring announcer, is actually taller than Graham. Billy is introduced as a former US Champion but I can find no evidence of him ever holding that title anywhere. Wahoo is teasing a heel turn at this point and starts with a test of strength for some reason.

Graham easily shoves him down so Wahoo tries to grab for hair. This completely fails since Graham is bald so Wahoo goes to the eyes instead. Graham comes back with a full nelson but the champion quickly makes the rope. Back to the full nelson but it doesn’t look to be locked in full. Billy tries some covers for two each before getting back up…..and getting chopped in the chest for the pin to retain Wahoo’s title.

Rating: D-. Erg this show is driving me crazy. The match was WAY too short and drags things back down after the great match we just got done with before this one. Wahoo was old and fat at this point but would be a good foil for Magnum TA in a few months. Graham would join up with Paul Jones to feud with Jimmy Valiant, much like a lot of other midcard heels.

We see the end of Race vs. Flair for the third time tonight.

Some Japanese guy, former world heavyweight boxing champion Joe Frazier and NASCAR driver Kyle Petty are the judges for the main event. Frazier is also guest referee and sounds like he’s taken way too many punches to the head.

The announcers say let’s go to the ring then change their mind because we’re not ready yet.

NWA World Title: Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair

Dusty is challenging and the winner gets $1 million. Flair is in pink and Dusty is in purple here which is a weird sight to say the least. Remember Joe Frazier is guest referee. Oh and Dusty is one half of the world tag team champions. Flair is the face here due to the hometown crowd but would be turning heel very soon. Thankfully only Dusty’s robe was purple and he has black trunks underneath. Dusty backs him into the corner to start and runs Flair over with a shoulder block. Off to a headlock by Big Dust before Flair takes him into the corner.

They trade punches and chops with Dusty taking over again with a headlock. We hear about Dusty trying pro football but not liking the team aspect of it. That’s hilarious when you think about it. Some elbows take Flair down as this has been almost all Rhodes so far. Ric goes to the eyes to escape and drops a knee to the head for two. Dusty will have none of this selling stuff though and puts on his terrible Figure Four.

Flair gets to the rope so it’s time for Dusty to lay on Flair’s leg for a bit. We’re five minutes in according to the ring announcer and Dusty puts on a top wristlock. Flair takes it into the corner as this is still going slowly. A bad press slam puts Flair down and Dusty chops away for no cover. Dusty pounds away in the corner and sends Flair into the corner for the Flair Flip. Frazier tries to break up a suplex back into the ring by Dusty but Rhodes does it anyway for a very slow two.

Flair elbows him in the face to take Dusty down, only to go up and get slammed down. Even in 1984 that didn’t work at all. The champion puts on a sleeper but since standing up is too much for Dusty, he rolls forward and sends Flair to the floor. They head to the floor for some brawling and Dusty goes into the post, busting him open. Oh man it’s a BAD one too, right above Rhodes’ eye. The referee looks at it but Flair starts pounding away at the cut, and that’s good enough for Frazier to stop the match. Seriously. In the main event of Starrcade.

Rating: D+. What a perfect way to end a terrible show. The match never got going and it doesn’t even reach thirteen minutes in total. What kind of an ending is that anyway? Here’s how you end this match if that’s what you’re going to do: have Flair either DESTROY Dusty to the point where Frazier stops it to save Dusty’s career or have Dusty blacking out from blood loss. Dusty was up and throwing punches when the match was stopped, making it look like a technicality than anything significant.

Flair kisses the million dollar check.

In the back, Flair celebrates with the check and says he left with what he wanted to leave with and that’s about it. Not really a heel promo but he didn’t say that was unfair or anything like that.

The announcers talk for a bit.

Dusty goes on a big rant against Joe Frazier while having a towel wrapped around his eyes. He promises to get Joe Frazier somewhere down the line. Dusty says he’s coming for Flair still. This could be seen as either an irate face promo or an evil heel one, depending on how you look at it. That’s the problem with a promo like Flair’s: it’s so neutral that you can’t really do anything with it.

The announcers wrap things up.

Overall Rating: F. Before I get into this, let me make it clear: this is excluding Tully vs. Steamboat which was a very good match and is worth checking out if you have time. Aside from that though, this is one of the worst shows that I’ve ever seen. It is PAINFULLY dull and never picks up any steam at all. I know it’s a different time period, but I’ve watched shows older than this which aren’t boring in the slightest, like last year’s Starrcade for example.

On top of that there were WAY too many instances of the heels winning here. Look at last year’s show: the heels dominated the first half before the good guys too over in the last bit and sent the fans home happy. While Flair won here, he was the only top face to win. Other than that, the biggest face to win was Manny Fernandez in a glorified gimmick match. There is nothing else on this show to watch and the show suffers greatly as a result.

As I said before, no one remembers this show at all and it’s not hard to see why. The show before and after it would be MUCH better with the same main event being done far better the next year. Not a good show, not memorable in the least, and definitely not worth torturing yourself with other than Tully vs. Steamboat.

 

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Summerslam 1990
Date: August 27, 1990
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 19,304
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

This is a personal favorite of mine as I’ve probably seen this show upwards of 40 times. It was the first tape I ever owned and I went through at least two copies. We have a double main event tonight with Hogan returning to face Earthquake and Ultimate Warrior defending the world title against Rick Rude in a cage for the final blowoff in their rivalry. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look at the fans coming into the arena and buying merchandise.

Now we get a traditional intro with Vince shouting about the double main event.

Rockers vs. Power and Glory

Power and Glory (Hercules and Paul Roma) get a jobber entrance. The camera immediately goes wide during the opening brawl so you don’t see Shawn’s knee get grazed by Hercules’ chain. His knee was REALLY badly hurt at this time so he’s just here for an appearance, making this a handicap match for all intents and purposes. Marty hits a quick dropkick to both guys and gets a small package on Roma but Slick has the referee.

Vince is freaking out over the referee missing stuff as Marty clotheslines Herc to the outside. We officially start with Roma vs. Jannetty and Roma tagging his way out of a sunset flip. Shawn is still on the floor as Hercules pounds away and slams Marty down. Roma plants Jannetty with a backbreaker for two but Marty comes back with a powerslam. The top rope fist connects with Paul’s head but Hercules breaks up the pin. Roma sends Jannetty into a clothesline from Herc as Shawn is screaming in pain. The superplex/top rope splash combo is enough to finish the massacre of Jannetty.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t too bad all things considered. The crowd is white hot here and they carried the match to a higher level than it could have reached on their own. It’s kind of a shame that Marty had to be Shawn’s partner as his own skills were overlooked by his far more talented partner.

Post match Shawn finally gets into the ring but Marty covers his injured leg and takes a beating himself. Shawn is taken out on a stretcher.

Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about the Texas Tornado because he’s perfect. Tornado had been around for only a few weeks if even that coming into this. Heenan says Texas Tornadoes never do any damage because you can see it coming from a mile away.

Texas Tornado says that Perfect doesn’t know anything about Texas Tornadoes. They’re powerful and devastating, and tonight he’s going to go back into the clouds with the Intercontinental Title. I’ve always liked this promo: it’s short, it’s to the point, and it ties into the character name. Short and sweet. Note that Tornado is wearing yellow trunks here, just like Perfect. He’d change to white for the match

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado

Tornado launches him into the corner to start and Perfect has a breather on the floor. The idea is that Perfect hasn’t had time to plan for Tornado and doesn’t know how to deal with him. Back in and Perfect hooks a quick hiptoss but Tornado slams him down and clotheslines Perfect out to the floor.

Back in and Perfect hits a clothesline of his own and the necksnap has Tornado in trouble. Off to a sleeper on Tornado but he quickly makes the rope. Perfect tries slapping him in the face, but Tornado pulls him into a slingshot, sending Perfect head first into the post. The Claw hold and Tornado Punch are enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This is a weird one as it’s about three and a half minutes of stalling before the fast ending. This was supposed to be Brutus Beefcake’s shot but he injured his face in a parasailing accident and Tornado was here as a surprise, which is likely why they went with the title change. Perfect would get the title back a few weeks later.

Mean Gene is talking about Sapphire being nowhere in sight (remember that as it becomes important later) when Hennig and Brain come in and say Tornado cheated by sending Perfect into the post. Heenan swears, yes SWEARS I SAY, that the shoulder was up at two.

Sapphire vs. Sensational Sherri

Sherri has on something like a big Mardi Gras mask which terrified me as a kid. Not that it matters as there’s no Sapphire. The music plays again but there’s still no Sapphire. Sherri says count to ten and then ring the bell. There’s still no Sapphire so Sherri wins by forfeit.

Dusty Rhodes isn’t sure where Sapphire, his chick, is. The idea is that Sapphire has been getting a bunch of gifts and no one knows who is sending them. The benefactor is scheduled to be revealed tonight. In what can only be described as a bizarre and random cameo, Jim Duggan pops up, says he hasn’t seen Sapphire either, and walks away. Dusty lists off the gifts (ring, bracelet, fur coat, Cadillac etc) and that’s about it.

Warlord vs. Tito Santana

Piper makes Mexican jokes as Tito grabs a headlock. Warlord easily shoves him down and Piper suggests going for a taco. Three straight dropkicks send Warlord out to the floor for a consultation with Slick. Back in and Tito pounds away but is launched to the outside on a kickout. Warlord rams Tito’s back into the post as Piper does a horrible Slick impression. Back in and Warlord pounds on the back but Tito fires off a quick clothesline and right hands. The flying forearm hits out of nowhere but Warlord gets his foot on the ropes. Back up a few seconds later and a powerslam abruptly ends Tito.

Rating: D+. Tito was a jobber to the stars at this point and made Warlord look as good as he could have, but the match was nothing special at all. Warlord just wasn’t all that good other than having muscles on top of muscles. Tito also jobbed to Barbarian at Wrestlemania so they had an idea of what they were using him for at this time.

Ad for Survivor Series. That show SUCKED.

Demolition says it’s going to be a surprise combination of them facing the Hart Foundation for the titles. Sean Mooney asks them about a match with Legion of Doom, giving us this joke from Crush: “They’re just a couple of second rate imposters.” It’s funny if you know your history.

Demolition has their entrance and it’s Smash/Crush. The Hart Foundation says they don’t care which combination they were going to face.

Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Demolition

This is 2/3 falls and Demolition is defending. Basically the Harts have about as much chance coming into this as I have at being Miss America 1974. Bret starts with Smash but the Harts knock Crush to the floor before anything gets going. Things settle down and Bret gets a quick rollup for two. Anvil comes in to crank on Smash’s arm before Bret comes back in with a fist to the back. Smash tries to get into a technical match with Bret and gets caught in an armbar for his stupidity.

Smash finally slams Bret down and brings in Crush, only to have Bret avoid an elbow and pound away. Crush charges into a boot in the corner and gets rolled up for two before it’s off to Neidhart vs. Smash, only to have Crush kick Jim in the back to give the champions the advantage. Crush comes in again and misses a charge into the corner, allowing for another double tag to Bret and Smash. Neidhart falls to the floor as everything breaks down. Smash is whipped into Crush and Bret gets two off the middle rope elbow but here’s Crush again. The Decapitator to Bret is enough for the first fall.

The second fall begins with Crush hitting a hard clothesline on Bret and Smash pounding on the chest. After a quick neck crank by Crush, Bret fires off the Hart Attack clothesline on Smash, allowing for the hot tag to Neidhart. A powerslam gets two on Smash and Bret launches Anvil into Smash in the corner. The Hart Attack takes Smash down but Crush breaks up the pin for the DQ to make it 1-1. Why they didn’t let the Harts get the pin there is beyond me.

During the break between falls, Demolition knocks Bret to the floor, allowing Ax to run down and sneak under the ring. The third fall starts with Bret getting two off a sunset flip before taking Smash down by the leg. Neidhart picks Bret up for the reverse powerslam for two on Smash. Now things get tricky as Smash rolls to the floor and rolls under the ring, switching places with Ax.

The idea is that Ax and Smash look so much alike that the referee can’t tell them apart. This is fine except for one problem: THEY DON’T LOOK ALIKE! Ax is taller, heavier set and has a rounder head, not to mention a deeper voice. This reasoning never made sense to me as a kid and it still doesn’t to this day.

Anyway the fresh Ax destroys Bret and gets two off Bret’s chest bump in the corner. Anvil comes in sans tag as Smash takes Ax’s place again. They try to switch again and the Legion of Doom come out to break it up. Smash goes after Hawk and Animal as Anvil shoulder blocks Crush into a rollup by Bret for the pin and the titles. The place comes unglued as the Harts have shocked the world.

Rating: B. That’s probably a bit high but I love this match. The wrestling is just ok but the storytelling is as good as you’ll get in a tag match with the LOD coming out to even things up, allowing the Harts to finally do the impossible and win the titles. This is a popular match among old school fans and if you watch it you’ll see why.

Wrestlemania VII ad, with Vince promising over 100,000 fans. “Terror threats” prevented this from happening, which is WWF speak for “the Los Angeles Coliseum would have been half empty so we’ll move it to an arena.”

The LOD goes on a big rant about how they’re the real thing and Demolition is living in their world. The Harts come in and say they’ll fight anyone anytime.

Demolition wants to get their hands on the LOD.

Sherri has hear rumors about Sapphire and thinks she might be a UFO and not that stupid. It’s a rather strange interview and we’ll leave it at that. Basically Sapphire has done something that Sherri thinks is smart.

Nikolai Volkoff and Jim Duggan are proud to be international tag team partners. We’re in intermission if that wasn’t clear.

Earthquake and Dino Bravo brag about putting Hogan on the shelf. Big Bossman, Hogan’s friend of the month, will be no problem for Dino. Jimmy Hart says Bossman and Hogan will leave on side by side stretchers.

Jake Roberts says he isn’t afraid of Bad News Brown’s sewer rats. The snake keeps wrapping around Jake’s throat in a creepy visual.

Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Big Bossman is guest referee for no apparent reason. Brown jumps Jake before Bossman is in the ring but has to bail out of a DDT attempt. Back in and Bad News tosses Jake down and gets two off a legdrop. Jake tries the DDT a second time but Brown bails to the floor again. Roberts follows him out and gets hit in the ribs with a chair which isn’t a DQ for some reason. Back in and Bad News pounds away as Piper asks if Vince has ever smelled Brown. Jake avoids a middle rope elbow and hits the short clothesline but Brown backdrops out of the DDT. Another chair shot to Jake is good for the lame DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and I’m still not sure why Boss Man was in here at all. Jake and Brown didn’t do anything else after this and Brown didn’t go after Boss Man after the feud, so I guess he was there as an enforcer for reasons not important enough to explain. The match was just ok.

Brown tries to drop a leg on the snake but Bossman makes the save. Bad News beats him down as well but Jake pulls the snake out of the bag to chase Brown off. This was Brown’s last major appearance in mainstream wrestling.

Demolition yells a lot.

Time for the Brother Love Show with a REAL American as his special guest: Sgt. Slaughter. This would be the start of his heel turn as he didn’t like the idea of Nikolai Volkoff becoming an American and wants America to be how he liked it. Slaughter gives Love the Great American Award and declares WAR on Volkoff, while also saying that Sadaam Hussein would destroy America in a real war. Somehow this took nearly ten minutes.

Mr. Fuji says his Orient Express will leave big red marks on Volkoff’s head.

Gene sees Sapphire go into a dressing room and lock the door behind her.

Orient Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Jim Duggan

Duggan and Volkoff sing God Bless America and get jumped in a twist on the old foreigners’ gimmick. We start with the small Tanaka trying to match strength with Volkoff. Vince: “That wasn’t too bright.” Piper: “Yep, real dumb.” You can’t make it any simpler than that. Sato kicks away at Volkoff a bit but it’s hot tag to Duggan who cleans house and finishes Tanaka with the three point clothesline. This was nearly a squash.

Sapphire won’t open the door for Dusty but Rhodes swears he’ll figure this out tonight one way or another.

Macho King Randy Savage doesn’t care about Rhodes being out there alone and says he understands Sapphire’s decision to leave a common man. I’m a big Savage fan and the energy he puts into his promos always impresses me. He’s got NOTHING to talk about here and he was going nuts anyway.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Savage

Before the match we hear a familiar laugh and cut to Ted DiBiase on the interview platform. He’s been spending the last several weeks telling Dusty that he has a price just like everyone else but Dusty has kept turning him down. Tonight, someone else had a price: Sapphire, Ted’s latest purchase. Ted’s latest gift to her is a bag of money which is hard to pass up. DiBiase brings up the most obvious point to the story: who else could afford to pay for all the gifts Sapphire has been getting?

Rhodes charges at DiBiase but Savage jumps him from behind to start the match. Back in and Savage hits a top rope ax handle for two. Dusty comes back with some elbows but his heart isn’t in this. He has to stop to chase Sherri though, allowing Savage to knock Rhodes out cold with Sherri’s loaded purse for the pin. This was nothing.

DiBiase leaves his suite but bails with Virgil and Sapphire as Dusty arrives. This would start a long feud which would include the debuts of Undertaker and Dustin Rhodes and Virgil’s face turn.

Hogan says that he can’t tell a lie because he’s like George Washington. He loved his Hulkamaniacs for supporting him and remembers Tugboat for leading the charge until Earthquake and Bravo beat him down. Bossman says that Quake and Bravo have the Constitutional right to a beating tonight.

Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

This is Hogan’s big return after being gone all summer due to an attack by Earthquake which broke his ribs. They lock up but Hogan can’t shove the big man around. Now Quake shoves him down a few times as Jimmy is losing his mind. Quake shoulders him out to the floor and Hogan takes a breather with Bossman. Back in and Hogan tries pounding away but Quake sends him into the corner to take him back down. Hogan gets a boot up in the corner and nails some clotheslines but Quake won’t go down.

After knocking Bravo and Hart off the apron, Hogan finally drops Earthquake with the big windup punch. All four guys get inside and the heels both take big boots to the face. The referee puts Bossman out though, allowing Bravo and Quake to hit a double slam on Hogan. A big elbow drop keeps Hogan down and a top rope forearm (from the 468lb Earthquake) to the back has Hogan down again. Off to a Boston Crab but Hogan tries to push his way out. That doesn’t work so Hogan looks to his left and realizes he’s about four inches from the rope for the break.

Bravo gets in some cheap shots on the floor but Earthquake misses an elbow drop back inside. Hogan finally gets to his feet (sidenote: Roddy Piper should not be allowed to cheer for Hogan. Ever.) but falls back down on a slam attempt. Off to a bearhug by Earthquake as the match slows down. Hulk punches out of it and tries a cross body like a schnook, earning the powerslam he gets as a result. Earthquake drops a pair of Earthquake splashes (seated sentons) but Hogan gets up at two to shock the crowd.

It’s Hulk Up time and there’s the slam but Dino distracts the referee after the legdrop. Jimmy comes in but gets tossed at Earthquake, sending everyone to the floor. Hart accidentally hits Quake with the Megaphone and Hogan slams the big man onto a table (it’s in Philadelphia after all)….for a countout? For the life of me I have no idea why Hogan didn’t get a pin here. I guess they wanted to save that for house shows, but it’s not like people wouldn’t want to see Hogan do it again live.

Rating: B-. The match itself was nothing of note but this is exactly what the fans wanted to see other than Hogan getting a pin. These two feuded on the house show circuit for the next four months or so, which really is amazing when you consider how basic the angle was that set it up. This falls into the fun category which is fine for a show like this.

Post match Quake chokes Hogan until Bossman blasts him in the back with a STEPLADDER. Quake finally drops him and looks at Bossman so the cop pulls out the nightstick to chase them off. Lots of posing ensues as you can see the house show rematches with any combination of these four guys being made up.

We go to the back where Rude and Heenan talk about Rocky Balboa facing Apollo Creed. Rude has beaten him before and he’ll do it again because a cage is his kind of match. Heenan says there will be no sequels either.

Dusty goes on a rant about being in a storm with only America being able to offer him shelter. He doesn’t have a price for Ted DiBiase and he’s coming for the Million Dollar Man. The feud would have been better if Sapphire hadn’t disappeared after this show.

Lord Alfred Hayes talks about the cage being constructed and how it’s put together. It’s more interesting than it sounds.

Hogan brags about winning and says there’s a fourth demandment: believe in yourself. He wants the world title back and will beat Earthquake as many times as it takes to be #1 contender again.

Vince and Roddy talk about Hogan vs. Earthquake happening again.

Earthquake, Hart and Bravo say the war isn’t over for Hogan and Bossman.

The Warrior rants about Rick Rude being cracked like the Liberty Bell. He says he’ll win and quotes some historic documents to continue the Philadelphia theme.

WWF World Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

In a cage where you can win by pin or escape. Rude tries to block Warrior from getting into the cage so Warrior knocks him off the top and down into the ring. The champion finally comes in with a top rope ax handle smash and throws Rude into the cage. Rick goes into the cage a few more times but ducks a charge to send Warrior face first into the bars. Rude kicks Warrior away but jumps off the top to put him down again instead of climbing out.

A hard slam into the cage has Warrior down but Rude still won’t try to climb out. Rude tries the Rude Awakening after winning a quick slugout but Warrior easily breaks the hold with raw power. They clothesline each other down before Rude hits a quick Rude Awakening for no cover. Instead Rude goes up to the top of the cage for a right hand to Warrior’s head. Heenan is losing his mind trying to get Rude to cover but Rude goes up the cage again.

This time Rude jumps into a right hand to the ribs but Heenan slams the door on Warrior’s head as he goes to escape. After the two count both guys collide and they’re down again as the match drags some more. Warrior stops him from crawling out while pulling Rude’s trunks down in the process. Heenan is pulled in and whipped into the steel before being sent outside again. The champion Warriors Up and hits the gorilla press before climbing out to retain.

Rating: D. This match sucked and the ending was exactly what people expected. These two had a match on SNME a month earlier and maybe Rude should have taken the title there to give it back to Warrior here. There was nothing of interest here and Warrior never seemed to be in any real danger due to Rude not going for a cover or trying to escape.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a show where the individual parts don’t reflect how the whole show comes out. This is a turn your brain off and have fun show. The main events were exactly what the fans wanted and the other stuff is fun as well. There was a show long angle with Dusty which set up another feud on top of all that. It’s a good example of how not everything needs to be a huge show that changes everything and that’s a good lesson for modern WWE to learn.

Ratings Comparison

Rockers vs. Power and Glory

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Texas Tornado vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: B

Redo: D+

Sapphire vs. Sensational Sherri

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Warlord vs. Tito Santana

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Hart Foundation vs. Demolition

Original: A+

Redo: B

Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Nikolai Volkoff/Jim Duggan vs. Orient Express

Original: D+

Redo: N/A

Randy Savage vs. Dusty Rhodes

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Original: C-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: C+

Nostalgia is a powerful drug.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2010/12/12/summerslam-1990/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Wrestlemania VI
Date: April 1, 1990
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 67,678
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

Time for another historic main event and in this case it’s probably Hogan’s best match ever. After Hogan basically beat every heel in the company, the only thing left to do was to have someone new come into the main event. At the Royal Rumble, only Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior were left in the ring at one point. The fans erupted and we had Wrestlemania 6. That’s the only match of note on the card so let’s get to it.

The opening video is set in space with a bunch of constellations. Vince does a voiceover and talks about how the two strongest beings in the universe are Hogan and Warrior. That’s different if nothing else.

Robert Goulet sings O Canada.

Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware

Martel is now a model and THE RING CARTS ARE BACK!!! Rick jumps Koko to start things off and the beating is on fast. Koko comes out of the corner with a cross body for two and a dropkick to stagger Martel even more. Martel heads to the floor, only to be dragged right back in. He sends Koko to the floor though and things slow down a bit. Rick pounds away on the back and hits a middle rope shot to the back. A backbreaker looks to set up the Boston Crab but Koko makes the rope. Some rams into the corner don’t work because Koko is black you see. A middle rope cross body misses and this time the Crab ends Ware.

Rating: D+. Not much of an opener here but it was decent enough I guess. This would have been a dark match today I would guess. The interesting thing here is what you got on the clipped version. On that edition, the first Boston Crab was clipped to the ending of the second one. See how dangerous that stuff can be?

Gene is with the tag team champions Haku and Andre (the Colossal Connection), calling the Colostomy Connection. Heenan: “Well if you want to talk evacuation….” They say they’ll beat Demolition. Gene: “The Colossal Connection: they’re anything but regular guys.”

Demolition says they’re going to take out the Connection and take the titles. Ax wants to chop them down like trees while Smash wants to put them in a tractor trailer and push them over a cliff. Our heroes ladies and gentlemen!

Tag Titles: Colossal Connection vs. Demolition

Only the challengers get an entrance. Andre is old and banged up here but they gave him a token title at the end of his career. The champions, the Connection, takes over to start as it’s Haku vs. Smash to get us going. Off to Ax to pound away but Andre comes in to break it up. Smash will have none of that and the beating continues on Haku with the challengers taking turns on him.

Haku and Smash fight over a backslide for awhile until Andre breaks it up. Demolition keeps control though and Haku gets beaten on even more. Andre finally cheats enough to let the give the champions the advantage. The giant headbutts Ax from the apron for a very delayed two before Haku rams Ax’s head into Andre’s head for two more. This was during the time when Andre would be officially in for about 15 seconds which was all he was capable of anymore.

Off to the Tongan nerve hold by Haku for a bit before Andre chokes in the corner. Andre hasn’t actually been in the match yet. A shoulder breaker gets two for Haku but he misses a charge into the corner. Hot tag brings in Smash to clean house and a flying forearm gets two. Everything breaks down and Andre is taken down by a double clothesline. Haku accidentally superkicks Andre into the ropes and the Decapitator gives Demolition their third tag titles.

Rating: C-. This was decent stuff but it was basically a handicap match. Andre was just too old to do much else after this and I don’t think he ever had another match in the WWF. Demolition would go on to have a summer long reign before turning heel and losing the titles to the now face Hart Foundation. Decent stuff here and the fans loved it.

Heenan, ever the brilliant man, yells at Andre and SLAPS HIM IN THE FACE! Andre grabs him by the face and smacks him around, blocks Haku’s superkick like it’s a baby’s hand, knocks Haku into the ring cart, changes his mind and kicks Haku out of the cart and leaves to a huge ovation. This was a good way to go out for Andre as he showed he could still beat up a lot of people with ease. Good stuff.

Jimmy Hart thinks there’s going to be an earthquake in Toronto. Earthquake is ready for Hercules.

Hercules vs. Earthquake

Earthquake misses a charge into the corner to start and Hercules pounds away on him. The big man heads to the floor before coming back in for a test of strength. Hercules goes down almost immediately and Earthquake is in control. The non-disaster comes back with some clotheslines but for reasons of general stupidity, Hercules tries a torture rack which goes as well as you would expect on someone who weighs 468. Two Earthquakes end Hercules.

Rating: D. Quick and easy here as Earthquake was clearly being built up as a huge monster for either Hogan or Warrior. He could certainly move very quickly for a guy his size and he had the talking ability to back it up. Earthquake is often forgotten as a quality monster which is a shame because the guy was pretty awesome.

Some celebrity interviewer is with Liz who says she’ll be around more often in the future from now on. Not really but whatever.

Brutus Beefcake thinks Mr. Perfect’s record looks pretty good. Tonight, he’s going to make it imperfect.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

This is one of the biggest matches on the card. Beefcake starts fast and punches Perfect to the floor with a single right hand. Back in and another punch sends Perfect flying over the top rope again. Brutus pounds away some more and Perfect gets to do his over the top bumping. A running clothesline puts Perfect down and Beefcake calls for the sleeper as Mary Tyler Moore of all people is here.

Perfect’s manager the Genius (the original Damien Sandow. They both even did cartwheels) slides in his metal scroll to Perfect and a shot to the head gives Mr. control. Perfect pounds away with some slow shots to the chest but the fans are staying into this. Beefcake comes back with the required slingshot into the required head first into the post bump by Perfect which is enough for the win out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. The crowd carried this one as Beefcake wasn’t a great worker but he had more charisma than he knew what to do with. Perfect was a leading candidate to face Hogan here so he was certainly a top heel. The match wasn’t great but it was more than enough to fire the crowd up again here. Granted the crowd is already white hot so no complaints here.

Post match Brutus goes to cut Perfect’s hair but Genius steals the clippers. Beefcake chases down the worthless Genius for a sleeper and a haircut. Brutus’ SWEET music is playing the whole time on top of that.

Now it’s time for one of the weirdest matches you’ll ever see. We recap Bad News Brown vs. Roddy Piper which started with a double elimination and a brawl at the Rumble. That’s all well and good. We go to Piper in the back where Piper says some people call him Hot Rod but then he turns around to show that half of his body is painted black. That side is called Hot Scot and you can hear the racial issues building from here. Apparently it was something about Michael Jackson.

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

An interesting point here is that both guys are legit black belts in judo with Brown being an Olympic bronze medalist in the sport. They immediately take it to the mat in a fist fight until Piper gets two off a cross body of all things. The referee (former heel wrestler Danny Davis) keeps separating them so Brown takes over by sending Piper’s head into the buckle. He yells at Piper for trying to be black and it’s off to a nerve hold.

Brown slugs him down a few times and drops an elbow for two. Somewhere in there a buckle pad is ripped off and it’s Brown going chest first into said buckle. Piper pulls out a single white glove (Brown wore a single black one) and a bunch of punches send Brown to the floor. Piper swings a chair but hits the post and it’s a double countout.

Rating: D. Instead of a brawl or something entertaining, this was much more of a bizarre spectacle than anything else. Brown would be gone soon after this while Piper would shift into the broadcast booth to take over for Jesse. The fight was a lot weaker because of how much stuff there was to distract from the action which is never a good thing.

Steve Allen, former host of the Tonight Show, is playing a piano in the bathroom as the Bolsheviks rehearse the Russian national anthem. Jokes are made and they’re not that funny.

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

National anthem, Canadian assault, Hart Attack to Boris, pin in about 20 seconds.

Go to Mania 7 in Los Angeles where there will be over 100,000 fans! Or not because of “terrorism threats” so we’re going to a smaller place! Pay no attention to the fact that it was reported that Vince couldn’t sell the place out so they moved the event!

Tito is ready for Barbarian and Heenan.

The Barbarian vs. Tito Santana

This is Bobby Heenan’s debut as Barbarian’s manager. Barbarian takes him into the corner to start but Tito comes back with punches to send Barbie to the floor. Back in and a big hip toss puts Tito down but Santana comes back with right hands to the head for two. They run the ropes and Barbarian kicks Santana’s head off to take over. When all else fails, kick the other guy in the face.

Barbarian misses a middle rope elbow but Tito can’t take him down with a dropkick. The flying forearm takes Barbarian down but Heenan puts his foot on the rope. Barbarian slugs him down and goes up top for a BIG clothesline off the top (and a SWEET bump from Tito) for the pin.

Rating: C-. The shot at the end makes up for most of the match sucking. Tito looked like he was dead out there and the flip backwards made it look even better. This was just a way to set up Barbarian as a singles guy which went absolutely nowhere. The guy stayed employed over the years if nothing else though so he’s got something up on a lot of people. Tito was officially a jobber to the stars at this point.

We recap Dusty/Sapphire vs. Macho/Sherri. This started at the Rumble where Brother Love insulted Sapphire and a brawl broke out with Savage and Rhodes. Sherri started attacking Rhodes on TV and a fourway brawl broke out there too.

Rhodes and Sapphire are ready for the mixed tag and say they have the crown jewel, whatever that is.

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Queen Sherri/Randy Savage

Savage is the King at this point. This is the first mixed tag in company history according to Fink. I don’t know if that’s true but I don’t know of another preceding it. Dusty and Sapphire are introduced at 465lbs. Jesse: “Are you telling me Dusty only weighs 200?” Dusty says cut the music because he’s got the crown jewel: Elizabeth. Savage FREAKS (I think. It’s kind of hard to tell with him) and Jesse is on one of his famous rants.

The genders have to match here so the guys start things off. Sherri tries to interfere but Sapphire makes the save. Dusty throws Sherri into Savage and we’re off to the women. Sapphire shakes her hips into Sherri and hooks an airplane spin for bad measure. Sherri tries a slam which goes as well as you would expect it to. Off to the men again with Sapphire getting in a few slaps from the apron.

The guys go to the floor but Savage runs back in for a top rope ax handle to the floor. He hits it again for good measure but Sapphire gets in the way of the third jump. Back in and Randy hits a suplex for two and drops Rhodes with a shot to the head with the scepter. Sherri hits a top rope splash for two on Dusty because the rules don’t matter I guess. Everything breaks down with Sapphire taking over on Sherri. Liz sends Sherri back inside and it’s a schoolgirl win for Sapphire on the Queen.

Rating: D. Another mess here that was there more for the spectacle than anything else. Most of this show isn’t that good all around and this was another good example. Sapphire continues to be pretty much there as a sight gag but thankfully she would be gone later on in the summer. Not much to see here for the most part.

Liz, Sapphire and Dusty dance.

Another Mania 7 ad.

Bobby Heenan is nearly speechless over Andre beating him up.

Rona Barrett is your usual celebrity that is out of place on a wrestling show.

Savage and Sherri freak out a lot.

Demolition celebrates their title win. This must be intermission. They’re ready for the Hart Foundation.

Now we get one of those famous interviews that is still talked about today. Hogan talks about getting energy from all of the Hulkamaniacs and says that THIS is where the power lies. He’s going to get Warrior down on his knees and ask him if he wants to live forever. Apparently he and the Hulkamaniacs can bring all of the Little Warriors into the light. Hogan: “It doesn’t matter whether you win or whether you lose.” He’s already setting the stage for the loss.

Warrior throws Sean Mooney away, saying Sean doesn’t deserve to breathe his air. He goes on one of his usual rants about how no one can live forever but Hogan’s beliefs can live through him. He talks about darkness and beliefs that come with any and all challenges. Tonight is about merging the Hulkamaniacs and the Warriors together. Warrior may be insane, but he’s really not that much worse than Hogan when you think about it.

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Jannetty and Tanaka start things off and the Rockers take over with their usual speed stuff. Double teaming sends the Express out to the floor before things settle down a bit. Mr. Fuji hooks the top rope, sending Marty out to the floor. Back in again and Jannetty escapes a backdrop and makes the tag off to Shawn. A double superkick puts Tanaka down so it’s off to Sato. Tanaka kicks Shawn in the back and the Rockers are in trouble again.

A gutbuster gets two for Tanaka and a big kick to the face puts Shawn down again. Sato hits a top rope knee drop and it’s off to a nerve hold. Shawn comes back with a big old clothesline and a diving tag to Marty. Things speed up and we get some heel miscommunication. A big backdrop puts Tanaka down but Fuji breaks up the double fist. Marty goes after him and gets salt in the eyes for his efforts. He stumbles into the barricade and that’s a countout.

Rating: C+. Decent tag match here which would be topped by about a mile at the Rumble. These guys needed more time than this and a better finish to be awesome so this one was just ok. The Rockers would start getting awesome in a hurry after this with nearly two years before their famous split. The Express would only have a handful of PPV matches ever and this is the most recent that I’ve seen.

Rhythm and Blues are in the back with Steve Allen cracking jokes at their expense. Greg Valentine as a guitar playing rocker is just wrong.

Dino Bravo vs. Jim Duggan

These two feuded for a long time. Earthquake is here with Dino, sending Gorilla into a rant about how you can’t be a wrestler and a manager. Kazarian would disagree. Jesse brings up how stupid it is to bring an American flag to Canada (against a Canadian at that). This is power vs. power and AMERICAN power takes over early on, sending Bravo out to the floor.

Back in and Duggan misses a charge into the buckle and Dino slugs him down. Jesse: “I don’t like Hacksaw.” Gorilla: “Why not?” Jesse: “He’s so ugly.” Jim comes back with three clotheslines but has to fight off Earthquake. In the distraction he hits Bravo with the board for the pin.

Rating: D. Another filler match, another match that sucked. Duggan was there to get crushed by Earthquake post match. Bravo was a decent lackey and midcard heel for people to beat up, but as usual he was going to lose no matter what he did out there. Except to Ronnie Garvin last year because Garvin sucks.

Duggan gets crushed by Earthquake post match.

We recap DiBiase vs. Roberts. Ted choked him out in MAY and then six months later Jake came after him. I’ve heard of slow builds but this is ridiculous. Roberts held up the belt and that’s about it.

Roberts says he’s going to make Ted beg for mercy.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Jake Roberts

DiBiase is quickly sent to the floor as Jesse criticizes Gorilla’s hot dog consumption. The DDT is escaped twice and Ted takes a breather on the floor. Back in and Jake grabs a hammerlock before driving some knees into the arm. Off to another hammerlock as Gorilla starts talking anatomy. Jake has to chase off Virgil though and Ted gets in a shot as Roberts comes back in. Roberts misses a running knee lift and Ted takes over.

Off to a front facelock by DiBiase as the fans are doing The Wave. It goes on for a good while as Ted sends Roberts’ arm into the post. A piledriver puts Jake down but DiBiase doesn’t cover. Off to the Million Dollar Dream for a bit but Jake gets his foot on the ropes. Jake comes back with an atomic drop and a clothesline followed by a backdrop for no cover. The DDT is loaded up but Virgil makes a save, pulling Jake to the floor when the referee isn’t looking. They head to the floor where the Million Dollar Dream is put on again. Jake sends DiBiase into the post but Ted gets back inside anyway to retain.

Rating: C-. This match took a long time to get going but the crowd was into this match for the most part. Apparently DiBiase wins the title even on a countout because this is a non-sanctioned belt. Gorilla thinks DiBiase doesn’t deserve the title because he didn’t earn it, but Jesse says Ted does because Ted paid for it. Point to Jesse.

Jake beats up Virgil and DiBiase because he can with Ted taking a DDT. Roberts shoves some money in Ted’s mouth for fun.

Slick says life is all about money so he’s happy that DiBiase has paid off Akeem to take out Big Boss Man. DiBiase had asked Boss Man to get the belt back from Roberts but since there was no crime, Boss Man turned face for being offered a bribe.

Boss Man doesn’t have much to say.

Big Boss Man vs. Akeem

Boss Man’s face as he rides to the ring is almost scary. DiBiase is waiting at ringside and jumps Boss Man before the bell. Wait apparently it did ring but the referee didn’t care. Good to know. Anyway Akeem pounds away on Boss Man but gets caught in an atomic drop out of the corner. The Boss Man Slam ends this in less than two minutes.

The fans don’t care about Rhythm and Blues.

Mary Tyler Moore likes Wrestlemania.

Here’s Rhythm and Blues to perform Hunka Hunka Hunka Honky Love. The only thing of note here is future WCW World Champion Diamond Dallas Page as the man driving the pink Cadillac into the arena. The Bushwhackers pop up in vendor costumes to beat up the band and break guitars.

The attendance record is announced: 67,678.

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Rude now has straight hair and is all tough instead of being a comedy guy. Steve Allen comes in to do commentary for no apparent reason. Snuka takes over to start with some shots to the head, only to have Rude suplex him down with ease to take over. Jimmy comes back by ramming Rude’s face into the mat, only to get poked in the eye for his efforts. Snuka misses something off the top and jumps into a punch to the ribs. The Rude Awakening ends this quick.

Rating: D. This was there to set up Rude as a threat to the new champion after the main event tonight. That would lead to Summerslam and a main event title match, but that would be about it for Rude in the WWF. Snuka wouldn’t do much here at all and was a total jobber to the stars after this one.

We recap Hogan vs. Warrior. They wound up being the only two guys in the ring at one point in the Rumble and the reaction to their fight was great. They then had some run-ins on SNME and the Main Event and that’s about it. This is much more about a battle of respect and they certainly don’t hate each other.

WWF World Title/Intercontinental Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior

This is title for title. It’s one of those matches where both guys are built up to the point that neither can lose and the fans are completely split on who they want to win. That’s REALLY hard to pull off and I don’t remember a better execution of something like this ever before. The shot of Warrior on the ropes doing his pose as Hogan comes to the ring still sends chills up my back.

They stare each other down and both guys shove the other into the corner. We get the famous test of strength with Warrior taking over to start. Jesse is STUNNED but Hogan fights back up and takes Warrior down to his knees, giving us one of the most popular .gif’s in the history of the internet (implied oral sex if you’re not familiar). Hogan trips Warrior down and drops an elbow for one but Warrior pops up and no sells a slam. Warrior slams Hogan down and clotheslines him to the floor where Hogan might have hurt his knee.

Back in and the brawl is on with Hogan’s knee being fine and not ever mentioned again. Hulk takes over and pounds away at Warrior’s head before getting two off a pair of elbow drops. Off to a front facelock and a small package for two. Hogan hooks a chinlock and pounds away on Ultimate’s head. After a brief break we’re right back to the chinlock followed by a belly to back suplex for two for Hulk.

There’s chinlock #3 and you’re not likely to ever hear the fans freak out as much from someone fighting out of a chinlock as you get here for Warrior. A double clothesline puts both guys down and Hebner counts VERY slowly, which is the right idea here. Warrior grabs the ropes and starts Warrioring Up before hitting some clotheslines. A suplex gets two for Warrior and it’s off to a bearhug on Hulk.

Hogan fights out of the hold with some solid rights to the head but on the breakup, the referee is taken down. Warrior hits a pair of ax handles off the top and starts to get fired up. The shoulder block misses though and Hulk drives him head first into the mat, but there’s no referee. Warrior suplexes Hogan down but there’s still no count. A rollup gets a VERY close two for Hogan and it’s time for the punches.

An elbow sends Warrior out to the floor and Hogan gets posted. Back in and Warrior snaps off some clotheslines followed by the gorilla press into the splash. That gets two and it’s time to Hulk Up. Hogan pounds away and hits the big boot, but the legdrop misses. Warrior hits a fast splash for the surprise pin to win the title and shock the world.

Rating: A. That’s likely high but the crowd here REALLY helps this one. This is a match that just works and there’s almost no other way to put it. I don’t think there’s much of an argument over this not being Hogan’s best match ever and it’s easily Warrior’s first or second best ever depending on your taste about next year’s entry. Either way, this is a great match and one of those matches you have to see at some point as part of being a fan.

Hogan hands Warrior the belt and leaves in the cart, partially stealing the spotlight but it’s not as bad as I remember.

Overall Rating: C+. This is one of those shows that is completely dependent on the main event. Other than that there’s almost nothing here at all, although there’s nothing that horrible. It’s mainly a big group of random(ish) matches with stories to most of them, but almost none of them are anything of note. Still though, it’s pretty fun stuff overall and the main event is must see. It’s not a great show or anything but it’s worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: D

Redo: D+

Demolition vs. Colossal Connection

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Earthquake vs. Hercules

Original: D-

Redo: D

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C

Redo: C-

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

Original: A

Redo: D

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Barbarian vs. Tito Santana

Original: D

Redo: C-

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Sensational Sherri

Original: D-

Redo: D

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Original: C

Redo: C+

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Original: D+

Redo: D

Ted Dibiase vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C

Redo: C-

Big Boss Man vs. Akeem

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: C-

Redo: D

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: A+

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: C+

I’m surprised by that Bad News/Piper match more than anything else.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/13/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-6-epitome-of-a-one-match-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 1990
Date: November 22, 1990
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

This is a somewhat different show that in recent years as we have a main event of sorts. It was never tried again and that’s probably the best idea. It’s called the Grand Finale Match of Survival in which the survivors of each team meet in one final Survivor Series match. The winners get absolutely nothing, which continues to prove that these shows are pretty worthless. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney welcomes us to the show and talks about the Grand Finale. He’s standing in front of a giant egg which apparently is going to hatch because of the heat from the crowd. Nothing good can possibly come from this.

The nifty squares intro theme open things up again.

Gorilla and Piper chat about the show for a bit.

The Warriors vs. The Perfect Team

The Warriors: Ultimate Warrior, Texas Tornado, Legion of Doom

The Perfect Team: Mr. Perfect, Demolition

This is the three man version of Demolition, including Crush. Perfect is feuding with Tornado (Kerry Von Erich, the Intercontinental Champion) and the LOD is feuding with Demolition after the LOD cost them the titles. Warrior, the WWF World Champion, is there because he has nothing else to do save for a minor feud with Perfect. His team is in the back before the match and says they’ll win.

The name Warriors is appropriate as you have the Ultimate Warrior, the Modern Day Warrior (Von Erich’s nickname in WCCW) and the Road Warriors (the LOD’s NWA name). I’ll never understand why the LOD and Demolition never had a big proper match. Perfect immediately goes to the apron and lets part of Demolition start. It’s Animal vs. Smash first in major power battle. They get to the fight immediately with Animal taking him to the mat. Animal throws him into Hawk for a right hand and the other Warriors get in a shot as well.

Smash comes back with a powerslam for two and it’s off to Perfect. That doesn’t last long so here’s Smash again, and he walks right into a powerslam. Everything breaks down and the Warriors clear the ring. Tornado comes in to face Smash who is taking a beating in this so far. Off to Ax who has much better luck for about ten seconds. There’s the Claw from Tornado but for some reason Warrior gets the tag and hits a series of awkward looking shoulder blocks before finishing Ax with the splash.

Crush immediately comes in to jump Warrior and take over. Smash gets in a slam on Warrior and Crush drops a top rope knee for two. Perfect is freaking out in his trademark over the top style. Warrior gets up a boot in the corner and clotheslines Crush down. Off to Hawk who always looks like he could murder someone in the ring. Perfect tries him out and is immediately slammed down.

Hawk counters a reversal to send Perfect into the corner but his shoulder goes into the post HARD to give the evil ones the advantage. Demolition pounds away on him but Hawk punches right back. A big flying shoulder puts Smash down and Hawk doesn’t tag when he has the chance. The top rope clothesline kills Smash and everything breaks down. Hawk kicks the referee and somehow this disqualifies not only Hawk but also Animal, Smash and Crush. We’re down to Perfect vs. Warrior/Tornado.

It’s going to be Warrior starting the handicap match but Perfect wants Tornado instead. Perfect immediately jumps him and is clotheslined out almost immediately after the jumping. Warrior bangs Perfect’s head into Heenan’s and sends Bobby into the front row. Tornado charges at Perfect and slams into the post to give Perfect the advantage for a bit. A buckle gets exposed somewhere in there and Tornado’s face goes into the steel, setting up the PerfectPlex to make it one on one.

Perfect tries the PerfectPlex again on Warrior which doesn’t work at all. Instead he hammers Warrior down and hits a great looking dropkick for two. Having Perfect run things out there for as long as possible is the best idea they’ve got. Warrior starts grabbing the ropes and shrugging off all the offense from Perfect. A shoulder block and the splash get the final pin for the Ultimate one.

Rating: D. This was probably the worst Survivor Series match so far in the four years they’ve been running this show. Not only was the match lopsided from the start, but half of the people in it were gone seven minutes in. Perfect never had a chance and Warrior had no reason to be in this match at all.

Ted DiBiase has a mystery partner for his match. Oh boy does he ever.

Million Dollar Team vs. Dream Team

Million Dollar Team: Ted DiBiase, Rhythm and Blues, ???

Dream Team: Dusty Rhodes, Koko B. Ware, Hart Foundation

Rhythm and Blues are Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine and they’ve been challenging the Hart Foundation for the Tag Team Titles. Dusty and DiBiase are feuding for obvious character reasons. Now we get to the legendary part of the match: the mystery partner. DiBiase gets on the mic and introduces for the first time ever…..THE UNDERTAKER. Who on earth would have imagined what this guy would become over the next twenty two years? Unreal indeed. The look on Undertaker’s face is eerie and he stands there like a zombie to make it even better. Undertaker has his own manager here in the form of Brother Love.

Quick sidebar: the Undertaker is probably the greatest example ever of someone being the only person that could pull off his character. Mark Calaway is PERFECT as the Undertaker with the look and the size and the dead looking eyes and the tattoos and everything like that. Before this he was just Mean Mark Callous in WCW and was a generic big villain. Sometimes it’s about finding what works and Undertaker has worked for a very long time. Also a bit of trivia: he debuted at a Superstars taping three days before this under the name Kane the Undertaker.

Undertaker and Bret start with the newcomer pounding the tar out of Bret. Well if you want to make someone look like a killer, call Bret Hart. Bret hits the ropes and charges at Undertaker, only to get caught by the throat and slammed down. It was more like a clothesline that Undertaker went to the mat with than the usual chokeslam here but he did have Bret by the throat.

Off to Neidhart who can’t move Undertaker in the slightest and gets slammed for trying. Jim looked TERRIFIED and tags out to Koko, who is too stupid to be afraid. Koko misses a charge and clotheslines himself on the top. The Tombstone (I believed named by Gorilla on the spot here) debuts but isn’t exactly the famous version yet, as Undertaker has both of Koko’s legs on one side of his head and covers with the folded arms but from the sides. It looked and sounded great though.

Bret comes in and hammers on Undertaker who just stares at him. Undertaker tags in Valentine and gives one of the most evil glares you’ll ever see at Bret. Off to Dusty who starts gyrating. They chop it out in the corner and it’s off to Neidhart. The Foundation take their turns working over Valentine’s arm but Greg gets a knee up in the corner. Off to Honky who is rapidly on his way out of the company. Bret makes a blind tag to Neidhart who sneaks in and powerslams Honky out.

DiBiase comes in to jump Neidhart but it’s quickly off to Dusty for the big showdown. Dusty tags out to Neidhart quickly but Virgil trips Jim up, allowing DiBiase to clothesline Neidhart for the pin. Here’s Bret again who pounds away on DiBiase and it’s back to Rhodes for more of the same. Back to Undertaker who gets some HEIGHT on a jumping stomp to the back of Dusty’s head.

Undertaker chokes Bret in the corner and somehow shows no emotion while at the same time looking angrier than any wrestler I’ve ever seen. Bret fights the now legal DiBiase out of the corner and it’s off to Dusty. Undertaker comes in, goes up, walks (a little way) down the rope with no one to hold onto, and hits a double ax to eliminate Dusty. Brother Love stomps on Dusty a bit so Dusty chases him off. Undertaker stalks Dusty to the back to get counted out, which is the only thing they could have done with him here.

Back in the ring Bret rolls up Valentine very quickly and it’s DiBiase vs. Hart. Bret pounds on DiBiase and atomic drops him to the floor, followed by a pescado to take Ted out again. DiBiase’s shoulder goes into the post and his head goes into the steps and they head back inside. They slug it out but DiBiase sends him chest first into the buckle to take over.

A quick backslide gets two for Hart and now it’s time for a classic: Bret trips over DiBiase and fakes a knee injury, resulting in a small package for two. Virgil interference messes up and another rollup gets two for Bret. The backbreaker and middle rope elbow get two for Hart but DiBiase rolls through a cross body for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is a very interesting match as you could see stars being made and stars going away. DiBiase clearly didn’t mean as much as he used to and would shift into a tag team run soon after this. Dusty would be gone in January as would Honky. On the other hand you can see the rise of Bret Hart on the horizon as the crowd was LOSING IT over those near falls at the end. Oh and the Undertaker. That’s kind of a big deal.

The Vipers (Jake Roberts’ team) are ready for Martel’s team. Why they’re in the shower I’m not sure.

The Vipers vs. The Visionaries

The Vipers: Jake Roberts, Rockers, Jimmy Snuka

The Visionaries: Rick Martel, Warlord, Power and Glory

Power and Glory are Hercules and Paul Roma. This is built around Martel vs. Roberts, which is based on Martel blinding Jake with cologne and Jake not having full vision yet. This was a BIG feud which they screwed up with a horrible match at Wrestlemania VII. It wasn’t that the wrestling was bad, but that it was a blindfold match and they spent about 2 minutes in contact with each other.

Marty and Warlord start as Piper is singing I Am The Walrus. Warlord powers Marty around but misses a charge in the corner. Warlord is now out of his Powers of Pain phase and is now shiny and bald. Both Rockers try to outmaneuver him but it just results in bringing in Martel. Shawn handles him with ease and brings in Jake, causing Martel to scamper away.

It’s Roma instead and Jake picks him apart like he’s not even there. He works on Roma’s arm and brings in Snuka to keep it up, but the afro apparently weighs down Snuka’s brain to the point where he can’t maintain a wristlock. Off to Hercules who gets chopped down so it’s back to Warlord instead. Snuka tries his stuff but when that gets nowhere it’s off to Marty. Jannetty opts for speed but jumps into a great looking powerslam for the pin.

Off to Shawn whose leapfrog is caught but he hurricanranas Warlord down instead. Jake comes in and the fans wants a DDT. A bunch of clotheslines take Warlord down and it’s back to Shawn. Roma comes in with an elbow drop to the back of the head as Gorilla talks anatomy. Warlord comes in and backdrops Shawn before tagging out to Hercules. Martel comes in just as fast and drops a knee for two. Roma sends Shawn into the corner and Shawn of course sells it like he’s dead. Martel’s shoulder hits the post and here’s Snuka again.

A flying headbutt to the standing Martel gets two, but Rick grabs a small package for the pin out of nowhere. Jake comes in again and Martel immediately runs and brings in Hercules. Roberts is getting frustrated because he can’t get his hands on Martel, but he still manages a knee lift and a failed DDT attempt. Jake starts pounding away on Hercules but Martel clotheslines him down instead.

Roma comes in for some stomping but he misses a middle rope punch. There’s the hot tag to Shawn who suplexes Roma down and hits a middle rope elbow for two. Shawn does what he can but Hercules comes in off a blind tag and pounds away even more. Power and Glory hook up the Powerplex (superplex from Hercules immediately followed by a top rope splash from Roma) eliminates Shawn and it’s 4-1. It’s Hercules in first but Jake is in trouble. Warlord comes in with a bearhug but Jake escapes and DDTs him out of nowhere. Jake says screw it and gets the snake out. He chases Martel to the back for the countout loss.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to see here but other than Jake vs. Martel, there was nothing here at all. To the best of my knowledge, Warlord and Snuka never interacted before or after this so they were just tacked on. The Rockers and Power and Glory had fought at Summerslam but that’s about it. The Visionaries are the first ever team to survive intact.

The Hulkamaniacs are ready for the Natural Disasters. This is a continuation of Hogan vs. Earthquake, with Hulk’s team facing Earthquake and Jimmy Hart’s and Bobby Heenan’s cronies. Hogan says they can go get rid of Sadaam Hussein. Remember that this is during the Gulf War.

Natural Disasters vs. Hulkamaniacs

Natural Disasters: Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian

Hulkamaniacs: Hulk Hogan, Big Boss Man, Tugboat, Jim Duggan

There’s some actual drama here as Hogan hadn’t pinned Earthquake before this and the other guys balance out somewhat well. Boss Man and Bravo are the captains’ friends at the moment and the other four are really just filling in space. Tugboat is a big guy called the Sailing Superstar. You can’t get much lamer than that. Haku vs. Duggan start us off as the announcers talk about the Grand Finale. It’s such a different time when they automatically know who is going to be on what side. Today you would be waiting on the swerve. Duggan pounds away on Haku and a clothesline gets two.

Bravo and Barbarian come in to get some shots but it’s quickly off to Haku vs. Boss Man. Haku dropkicks him down for two but the Boss Man Slam eliminates Haku quick. Barbarian comes in next and Boss Man runs him over. Heenan gets taken off the apron and Boss Man punches Barbarian a bit before walking into a suplex. Barbarian misses a middle rope elbow and it’s off to Duggan vs. Bravo. Scratch that as Earthquake makes a blind tag and crushes Duggan in the corner. Duggan keeps trying to knock Earthquake down but Jimmy low bridges him. Duggan brings the board in with him and hits Earthquake for the DQ.

It’s Hogan vs. Earthquake but Hulk beats up all three guys because he can. Hogan easily slams Earthquake and fires off ten punches in the corner. Earthquake comes back with a powerslam and tags in Bravo who stomps away, only to get small packaged for the pin. There’s the tag to Boss Man who hits his rapid fire punches in the corner. Boss Man goes up for a cross body and oh my goodness Earthquake caught him. That is SCARY power. Hogan shoves Boss Man on top of Earthquake for two but Barbarian kicks Boss Man in the back to put him down. An elbow from Earthquake eliminates Boss Man.

Hogan vs. Earthquake again and Hulk tries to drop the big guy. Hulk tries another slam but can’t get Earthquake up. The third attempt results in Earthquake falling on Hogan for two. Hulk avoids an elbow and there’s the tag to Tugboat, causing everyone to shout TOOOOT which sounds like booing.

Hogan pulls Earthquake to the floor and Earthquake and Tugboat get counted out. That leaves Hogan vs. Barbarian and things don’t look good for the Disasters. Barbarian goes after Hogan on the floor and doesn’t hit a piledriver well at all. It gets two and they clothesline each other. Barbarian hits the top rope clothesline, but it’s Hulk Up, legdrop and we’re done.

Rating: C-. This was a lot more fast paced and energetic than you would expect. The continued practice of just teasing the encounter that the match is based on is getting REALLY old though as I guess they want to preserve the house show draws, because who would want to see a feud continue after a single match right? My goodness have things changed in the last twenty years.

Hogan beats up Heenan post match and poses. Piper cheering for Hogan is just wrong.

Some fans talk and have little to say. Well one fan signs who he likes which is cool.

Here’s Savage with something to say. He’s still the King at this point which has been going on for awhile. Savage doesn’t have a match tonight and he doesn’t like not being recognized as the future WWF World Champion. He promises to take his title back from Warrior and talks about Sherri slapping The Ultimate Chicken a few times. There’s nothing of note here but it reinforced that they have issues. That’s something you never hear today: promos to just remind you that people don’t like each other.

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Alliance: Nikolai Volkoff, Bushwhackers, Tito Santana

Mercenaries: Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Orient Express

This is during the Iraqi Sympathizer period for Slaughter and the idea here is military themed with the other four being a group of international wrestlers banding together to fight Slaughter and company. Before the match, Slaughter tells Gene about having a Thanksgiving dinner with the Mercenaries and not having to be inconvenienced by being in the desert. That’s better than being in the Army and eating K-Rations right? This was a pretty edgy angle at the time. Questionable but edgy. This interview is in the arena with the Mercenaries’ music playing. That must be a pretty dull period for the crowd.

The Bushwhackers torment Boris to start and the flying forearm from Tito eliminates him in about 20 seconds. Sato (half of the Orient Express, along with Tanaka) comes in and is accidentally superkicked by Tanaka. The Battering Ram puts out Sato and it’s 4-2 inside of two minutes. Tanaka comes in and the forearm from Tito makes it 4-1 in less than 2:15. Volkoff pounds on Slaughter with his usual stuff but gets punched in the face for his efforts as Slaughter takes over.

After a long beating, Slaughter eliminates Volkoff with an elbow. There were about three minutes of beating in between there but there was absolutely nothing of note to talk about. The Bushwhackers double team Sarge for a bit but Slaughter beats them down and gutbusts Luke for an elimination. A clothesline takes out Butch about 30 seconds later and it’s one on one.

Tito immediately dropkicks Slaughter into the post and things speed up with by far the two most talented guys in the match in there. Tito hits a top rope forearm for two and stomps away even faster. Piper is trying not to curse and Slaughter slams Santana’s head into the mat. A neckbreaker and backbreaker combine for two on Santana.

After some more beating, Tito gets a quick forearm attempt but hits the referee by mistake. The forearm hits the second time but General Adnan (Slaughter’s manager/boss) hits Santana with the flag and Slaughter puts on the Camel Clutch. The referee saw the flag though and it’s a DQ win for Tito.

Rating: D-. Well that…..happened I guess. They went through seven eliminations inside of eleven minutes and the match was awful. Basically this could have been Slaughter vs. either Volkoff or Santana and gotten the same payoff. I have no idea what they were going for here, but my guess is that they had nothing else to fill in fifteen minutes with (the show only runs two hours and twenty minutes and we’ve got something else to go before the main event).

DiBiase and the Visionaries say Warrior and Hogan (no mention of Santana) can’t work together. Sean says it’s going to be these five against Warrior and Hogan.

It’s time for the Egg Hatching. Gene talks about the fans being hot tonight and the egg starts to hatch. There’s no way around this: it’s the Gobbledygooker, a humanoid turkey who square dances to Turkey in the Straw with Gene Okerlund, does a bunch of flips and is played by the WAY too talented for this Hector Guerrero. The fans IMMEDIATELY start booing when it hatches, as there is absolutely no point to it. This was rumored to be anything from Undertaker to Flair (about a year early for him) to some Playboy Playmate. Total time spent on this: over seven minutes.

Hogan, Warrior and Santana are ready.

Hulk Hogan/Tito Santana/Ultimate Warrior vs. Ted DiBiase/Visionaries

Oddly enough, Hogan comes out before Tito. Tito and Warlord start and a forearm ends Warlord in less than 30 seconds. Roma immediately powerslams Tito and brings in DiBiase. My goodness a 20 minute Santana vs. DiBiase match would freaking rock. Tito misses another forearm and a hot shot gives DiBiase the pin.

Hogan comes in and beats the tar out of DiBiase for a bit before ducking his head too early. A kick to Hogan’s face slows him down and it’s off to Roma for a top rope forearm for two. Back to Hercules who pounds away on Hulk even more, followed by the same from DiBiase. The Powerplex hits Hogan…..and has basically no effect. Roma is immediately pinned by a clothesline and it’s 3-2.

Martel comes in to beat on Hogan but gets kicked in the face. Off to Warrior who fires off a bunch of kicks in the corner and backdrops Martel. Rick tries to hit him in the head and boy are you really that dumb? Hogan knocks Martel to the floor and Rick walks off for the countout. Hogan beats on DiBiase a bit and there’s the legdrop. Warrior beats Hercules with the splash about 40 seconds later to win.

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of this? I mean……am I watching a house show? These are the kind of matches you hear about at the end of shows to send the fans home happy, not to main event a PPV. It was clear that this show wasn’t needed and that something had to be done.

Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show has some moments of ok, but can you imagine PAYING for this show? Undertaker debuts here but no one had any idea what that would mean. Nothing is changed at all, mainly because the company was afraid no one would want to see the house show matches after this.

This show runs two hours and eighteen minutes and nearly eight minutes of that are the Gobbledygooker. On top of that the main event runs about ten minutes in total counting entrances. You’re looking at about two hours for the non main event stuff and that’s ridiculous for a PPV. This is another show that doesn’t need to exist.

Ratings Comparison

Warriors vs. Perfect Team

Original: C-

Redo: D

Dream Team vs. Million Dollar Team

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Vipers vs. Visionaries

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Hulkamaniacs vs. Natural Disasters

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Original: F

Redo: D-

Grand Finale Match of Survival

Original: D-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: F

Redo: F

It sucked four years ago and it still sucks now.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/09/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1990-title-removed-due-to-anger-issues/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

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Monday Nitro #282
Date: March 19, 2001
Location: O’Connell Center, Gainesville, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

Greed has come and gone and it should be interesting to see where things go with this final real show before next week’s grand (work with me here) finale. Scott Steiner is still World Champion after demolishing Diamond Dallas Page because that’s what Scott Steiner does, though it does raise the question of who is left for him to beat. In theory that would be Booker T., who became US Champion for the first time last night. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memorium tribute to Diamond Dallas Page, complete with Taps and a shot of a flag at half mast over video of a trailer park.

Quick look at last night’s main event.

Here’s the Magnificent Seven (well four, counting Midajah) to open things up. As they’re on the way to the ring, we’re told that Eric Bischoff will be calling in later. That should be interesting for a change. Scott says Page is now on the same list as Sting, Kevin Nash, Sid Vicious and Goldberg and demands that the fans pay homage to him.

Ric brags about beating Dusty and Dustin around Jacksonville last night and says Dusty isn’t here tonight. Dusty and Dustin pop up on screen to say Flair is going to kiss something tonight. After a challenge from Steiner, Dusty says someone is here to fight Steiner instead. Cue Booker T., who Scott says he beat so bad that Booker forgot where the barbershop is. Booker promises to get his hands on Steiner tonight.

Buff Bagwell and Animal are in the back with Buff accusing Lex Luger of being the attacker. The cameraman is told to follow Luger around all night.

Jason Jett vs. Disco Inferno

Hudson talks about Jason Jett’s win last night as we see his win on Thunder. Of course they can’t get it right with three shows left. Disco has Mike Sanders with him. Jason spins him him down with a headlock and a sitout powerbomb for two. Sanders offers a distraction though and it’s time for dancing.

A facebuster sets up more dancing and a delayed near fall before Disco starts in on the knee. Yet another distraction allows Sanders to come in and be quickly dispatched so Jett can slam Disco down, setting up a standing moonsault for two. Sanders tries to come in but hits Disco by mistake, allowing Jett to hit the Crash Landing for the pin.

Rating: D+. Jett continues to be interesting but this is pretty much it for him unless he’s got a final match on Thunder. Disco losing because of a stupid blunder is the perfect way for him to go out, but he deserves some credit for being around as long as he was. He debuted on one of the very first shows and made it all the way to the end on a glorified comedy character. There wasn’t any real future for him in the WWF or anything but Disco is someone who deserves more credit than he gets.

Ric Flair and Jeff Jarrett are having a chat as the documentary cameraman (whose identity isn’t entirely clear actually) sneaks in a shot through the crack of a door.

Here’s Shane Helms to challenge Kidman to a rubber match for the Cruiserweight Title.

Cruiserweight Title: Shane Helms vs. Kidman

Kidman is challenging. They run the ropes to start with Helms sending him outside and following with a big flip dive. A good looking high cross body gets two for the champ but Kidman gets the same off a belly to back. They’re moving out there so far. A BK Bomb plants Helms for two as we’re told that next week is the season finale. Helms stops a charge by raising a boot and ducks a clothesline to grab the Vertebreaker and retain the title.

Rating: C+. This was too short to be really good but they were flying around at high speed for the few minutes they had. Kidman looked good as always but it was clear that Helms was just flat out better than anyone else in the division at this point. He’s a great option for the final champion and I’m glad he had a long career after WCW went under.

Post match Chavo Guerrero Jr. comes out for the brawl until Kid Romeo and Elix Skipper run down to help Guerrero. Rey Mysterio makes the save and the good guys (including Helms) clear the ring.

Lex Luger has been laid out so the cameraman goes to find Buff or Animal to help.

Bam Bam Bigelow has been granted a rematch with Shawn Stasiak. For the love of all things good and made of pickle flavored ice cream, WHY?

Buff and Animal ask if Luger saw anything. Animal freaks out because this needs to stop and Rick Steiner is the next suspect.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Stacy is now just Stacy instead of Stacy Keibler and despite the Miss Hancock outfit. Before the match we get a quick Shawn and Stacy Show with Shawn saying he’s ready to beat Bigelow up again so he and Stacy can get down to the real business. Bigelow throws him around to start but gets pounded in the corner. Who knew Shawn had that in him? A clothesline actually drops Bigelow but he intercepts Stacy’s hairspray. Ever the nice guy though, Bigelow doesn’t use it and opts for the Greetings From Asbury Park for the pin.

The replays shows a virtually empty upper deck, which is only the fourth section away from the ring.

Post match Stasiak says he wants one more match but Bigelow wants the pot sweetened a bit: if he wins, Stasiak has to get a tattoo. Shawn agrees, despite thinking it was going to be Stacy at the time. Wouldn’t Stacy getting one be a bigger draw? Well to be fair they’re going out of business so that’s hardly their biggest problem.

Here are Scott Steiner, Flair and Midajah to the ring where a table has been set. Terry Taylor is there also but Scott throws the chairs out and grabs him by the shirt. Cue Booker T. to the stage so he’s clearly not a Red Rooster fan. Booker introduces the phone call from Eric Bischoff, which can be heard in the arena.

Bischoff has been trying to acquire WCW but they’ve hit some roadblocks that may be brick walls. Next week might be the last night of wrestling on the Turner networks so next week will be a Night of Champions, meaning every title will be on the line. That includes Booker T. vs. Scott Steiner in a title vs. title match. Also, any former World Heavyweight Champions are invited to the show next week and please bring your boots with them. As for Ric Flair, he will be giving Dusty that kiss tonight no matter what. Bischoff will be there next week and hangs up.

Steiner signs the contract for next week as Booker has made it to the ring. Scott jumps him before Booker can sign and beats him down with the pipe. Security comes in and gets laid out as well but Booker pops up and hits the ax kick on Scott. Booker gets the pipe but Steiner bails with Flair and Midajah, leaving Booker to say his catchphrase, which is then played again at the start of his theme song.

Buff, Animal and Luger go to see Ric (who obviously hasn’t been out to the ring yet when this was filmed) and Jeff. Ric says they’re going to regroup but there will be no kissing.

M.I. Smooth vs. Kanyon

Kanyon jumps Smooth (in wrestling gear here) during his entrance but gets powerslammed down. Smooth has to keep pulling his straps up as they head outside with Kanyon getting chopped around the ring. Back in and Smooth splashes him in the corner but Kanyon gets a Russian legsweep for two.

Kanyon goes Flair by asking for the time and dropping a low blow behind the referee’s back. A slingshot elbow gets two on Smooth as Kanyon looks bored. Maybe it’s the whole psycho character but he needs to find a better way to show emotion. Smooth powerbombs him but misses a charge into the post, allowing Kanyon to go grab a chair. Animal runs in and DDT’s Smooth with the Cat coming in for a save after the pin.

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? Kanyon looked bored out of his mind and after Smooth no sold all those chair shots last week but now he loses in five minutes to a DDT from Animal? I always liked Ice Train back in the day so it was cool to see him get a mild push over the last few weeks but that’s not quite how I was hoping he would wrap up his career.

Cat makes a tag match for Thunder.

Dusty Rhodes eats more burritos.

Rick Steiner vs. Konnan

Steiner really doesn’t seem to mind that he lost the US Title. They’re on the floor in less than ten seconds and for some reason Rick is in bright blue. They trade whips into the barricade before Rick runs him over back inside. We’re firmly in the Rick Steiner formula now with Steiner slowly walking around and occasionally hitting Konnan before staring out at the crowd.

Konnan comes back with a faceplant but Rick completely misses a clothesline. It’s sold anyway and Konnan looks like a moron as a result, despite the clothesline being about a foot above his head. Rick stands over him again before putting Konnan’s arm between Rick’s legs and laying down, which apparently is an armbar. As the fans try to get their head around how Rick can actually be that lazy, Shane Douglas comes in for the DQ with a cast shot to Steiner’s head.

Rating: F. For that armbar alone. Of all the people who wouldn’t be seen again for years anywhere outside of a reunion show or some bad TNA pay per view, I think I’ll miss Rick Steiner the least. The guy was part of a great team at one point but ever since he’s become a singles wrestler, he’s turned into one of the biggest embarrassments I’ve ever seen in a wrestling ring.

Rick is back up ten seconds later to be knocked outside by Hugh Morrus.

Bagwell, Luger and Animal accuse Rick of being the attacker and are thrown out after an argument.

Team Canada is ready to win a non-title match and earn a Tag Team Title shot.

Ric assures Jarrett that he’ll make the right decision.

Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo vs. Team Canada

Non-title. Storm and Palumbo start to some USA chants. Chuck fires off some great right hands and dropkicks Storm out to the floor. Back in and it’s off to Sean vs. Mike with O’Haire ducking a clothesline and hitting a perfect spinning kick to the face for two. Lance comes in for some right hands and a suplex to set up Awesome’s slingshot splash for two more.

Awesome clotheslines Storm by mistake but Storm comes off the top to stop a tag attempt. Back up and Sean hits a fireman’s carry throw on Storm, allowing the hot tag off to Chuck to clean house. It’s a shame that the crowd isn’t reacting to most of this as they’re having a good match.

Everything breaks down and Awesome eats the Jungle Kick but Storm breaks up the Seanton Bomb. Storm gets a chair kicked into his face but Awesome cracks Palumbo in the head with another chair. The shot was so close to Nick Patrick’s head that even Tony has to ask how Patrick didn’t hear it. The Awesome Bomb gives Mike the pin on Palumbo. That’s your Tag Team Title match next week.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot better than I was expecting to as O’Haire and Palumbo have turned into a good team here in the final few weeks. Team Canada isn’t bad either as Storm and Awesome have good chemistry together and the rematch should be fun next week, even if it barely means anything. You need a good wrestling match like this to boost a show and this one did just that.

Here are Jarrett and Flair for the big closing segment. Flair tells Dusty to come out here right now but it’s Dustin instead. Ric wants the old version so Dustin introduces his dad who comes out with a donkey and I think you get the joke. In case it’s not clear, the back of the donkey says “Dusty’s A**”. Apparently the donkey, named Old Silver Dollar, has had about 300 burritos today, which I can’t imagine is healthy for him.

Flair sends Jeff to do it instead but Jarrett says no way. Dustin gets beaten down but here’s daddy for the save. The villains send Dusty into the barricade and go over towards the donkey. Dustin makes another save and Flair does indeed kiss Silver Dollar to end the show. I get the idea here but wouldn’t Flair being made to do what was implied all night be more embarrassing? This was funny enough but it was a downgrade in a way.

Overall Rating: C+. You have to keep in mind that this show is basically part one of a series finale. On that front, it wrapped up several stories though I’m still curious to see if they tell us who the attacker was. The wrestling here was up and down as has become the standard in WCW with a lot of the problem still being Rick Steiner putting on another horrible match and dragging the show down with him. Overall though, this was an easy night to sit through as they’re just flat out saying they’re done after next week.

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Greed
Date: March 18, 2001
Location: Jacksonville Municipal Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 5,030
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

After all that, we’ve come down to this. Seventeen years ago, the first WCW (NWA at the time) super show aired and it was called Starrcade. The main event of that show saw Ric Flair win the NWA World Title from Harley Race in a changing of the guard, only to be challenged by Dusty Rhodes before the show ended as part of a legendary feud that would headline the next two Starrcades. Now it’s a show called Greed and Ric Flair and Dusty Rhodes will be facing off in a featured match with stipulations involving the loser kissing a certain part of the winner. Sometimes wrestling is funny but this is sad. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on Diamond Dallas Page, who is still standing after everything Scott Steiner has thrown at him.

Tony: “If it’s professional wrestling, it must be greed!”

Jason Jett vs. Kwee Wee

Bonus match. Kwee Wee jumps him during his entrance though to be fair Jason was taking his sweet time going around the ring high fiving fans. Jett comes right back and goes to the top to dive onto Kwee Wee and take over. They head inside with Jason grabbing a reverse Boston crab but also pulling Kwee Wee up by the arm. Tony says he’s never seen anything like it but it’s been seen in WCW before, from Konnan I believe.

Kwee Wee gets out and throws Jason to the floor by the hair. That’s a new one, or at least a painful one. Jett charges at him and gets backdropped onto the apron for something like a Tajiri handspring into a DDT onto the floor. Cool spot. Totally contrived looking, but cool. Back in and Jett is backdropped out to the floor for a big crash and it’s time to choke with a cord. As is always the case, Kwee Wee continues to be so far beyond this gimmick that it’s kind of sad.

Kwee Wee covers on the floor, prompting Hudson to mention that the main event is falls count anywhere. I don’t remember that being mentioned anywhere leading up to this show and unfortunately that’s probably the first time it was announced. We hit the chinlock to slow things down a bit (well earned at this point) and we’re told that the falls count anywhere stipulation was indeed added to the main event on the pre-show. Actually make that the END of the pre-show.

I’d be more mad about that if the company had ten days left, or if Jett wasn’t on top for a superbomb that was countered into a super hurricanrana for two. Kwee Wee calls for the piledriver but Jett reverses and hits the Tajiri elbow. The Crash Landing is escaped (I wonder if Kwee Wee’s hair can be used as a flotation device) and Kwee Wee gets two off a northern lights suplex. Jett sends him outside and lays down to play possum, causing Kwee Wee to miss a top rope legdrop. Serves him right to get hurt after not actually doing anything to put Jason down. The Crash Landing gives Jason the pin.

Rating: B+. I don’t know if it’s the low expectations or just being happy that I don’t have another WCW pay per view after this but I dug the heck out of this match. These two were all over the place with big spot after big spot and I wanted to see what they were going to do next. It’s a shame that both guys were basically done after this (save for Kwee Wee wrestling women in TNA) due to not arriving soon enough and having a horrible gimmick.

We recap the Cruiserweight Tag Team Title tournament.

Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles: Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo vs. Kidman/Rey Mysterio

The titles are vacant coming in and Kidman throws a curveball by wearing a gray shirt for a change. That’s WCW’s version of mind games I suppose. Kidman and Romeo start things off with Romeo hitting an Alley Oop of all things to take over. Skipper comes in and slams his partner onto Kidman for two but it’s quickly off to Rey for a springboard legdrop to take over.

They fight up the ramp with Mysterio and Kidman hitting stereo dives off the stage for a good looking spot. Back in and Skipper knees Kidman out to the floor in a crash. Romeo spends too much time chopping though and gets beaten up in the corner, only to have Romeo back with Mysterio’s sitout bulldog. We hit the chinlock for a bit before it’s back to Skipper to choke on the ropes.

Elix takes him to the top until Kidman takes him down with a sitout powerbomb and a round of applause. The hot tag brings in Rey to clean house and send Elix shoulder first into the post. Kidman hits a top rope shooting star to the floor to take out both Romeo and Skipper. Back in and a reverse suplex gets two on Romeo with Skipper making the save. Skipper dragon suplexes Rey into a guillotine legdrop from Romeo with Kidman diving in for a save.

The good guys one up them with a powerbomb into a top rope splash for two on Skipper, followed by the Bronco Buster. It’s nonstop action at this point. Kidman and Skipper head to the floor, leaving Rey to moonsault into the Last Kiss to give Romeo and Skipper the inaugural titles.

Rating: A-. Sweet goodness this show is on fire to start. This was the kind of match you would expect from the previous generation of cruiserweights which didn’t seem to be possible until a few months ago. Outstanding stuff here with four guys flying all over the place to show off for the crowd and make the titles look like something special.

More documentary stuff Buff saying he’s doing this so he can get his face on TV. Basically Flair says they’ll all win tonight. Animal actually talks a bit here, only showing how worthless of a signing he was. Can anyone explain to me why Mike Awesome couldn’t have played the exact same role? Other than giving Animal a payday of course.

We recap Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow which has had all of six days’ build. Basically Shawn doesn’t like bald tattooed people and you can figure out the rest for yourself.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Stacy is back in the Miss Hancock gear and I forgot how well that look worked. She introduces the Shawn and Stacy Show with Shawn doing the same horrible insults that didn’t get him over in the first place. Bigelow drives him into the corner to start but Shawn nips up. That is the extent of the comparisons that will be made between Shawn Stasiak and Shawn Michaels.

A shove sends Stasiak outside and that means we need a timeout. Bigelow knocks him to the floor again as this is already horrible. Shawn comes back in with a high cross body and some posing, only to have Bigelow destroy him again for the top rope headbutt. This brings Stacy to the apron for the hair down distraction, allowing Shawn to spray Bigelow in the eyes with some perfume. The neckbreaker puts Bigelow away.

Rating: F. We get two great matches to open the show and then have to sit through the latest attempt to make Shawn Stasiak mean something. It doesn’t help that Stasiak’s offense is move, pose, move, pose, cheat to win with a neckbreaker. We would have been much better off with just having Stacy stand in the ring reciting the alphabet for six minutes instead but that might be too complicated for WCW.

Shawn and Stacy kiss post match.

Cat tells Miss Jones to stay in the back but she won’t stand for it.

Romeo and Skipper put the belts on each other.

We recap Hugh Morrus/Konnan vs. Team Canada which is basically I hit you, you hit me.

Team Canada vs. Hugh Morrus/Konnan

There’s no Canadian national anthem for Storm so we get the dramatic head turn as Hugh Morrus’ music plays instead. It’s a brawl to start (duh) with Awesome and Morrus but it’s quickly off to Storm. Hudson brings up the fact that Storm and Morrus were supposed to have their final battle but “the heat was too great.” The double teaming continues on Morrus with Konnan punching Storm from the apron, only to knock him right into Hugh to prevent the hot tag.

The locker room leaders ladies and gentlemen. Konnan gets the tag a few seconds later but Awesome runs him over a few seconds in to keep the Canadians in control. Morrus gets to play cheerleader as Storm gets beaten down in the wrong corner. Awesome’s clothesline gets two and Konnan’s small package gets the same. A top rope shoulder knocks Konnan into his own corner but thankfully Awesome is smart enough to pull him right back. Storm’s dropkick hits Konnan in the hands so clearly that even the announcers have to acknowledge it.

We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by the referee missing the hot tag. A piledriver from Awesome sends Konnan back first onto Awesome’s legs but Storm’s awkward looking top rope….something lands on Konnan’s raised boot. That was really weird looking as Storm seemed to be going for a swan dive (not exactly a standard move for him but had to move forward to hit Konnan’s foot. Either way it’s enough for the hot tag to Morrus, only to have Storm superkick him down. Konnan and Storm fight to the floor but Lance is able to break up No Laughing Matter, setting up the Awesome Bomb for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was longer than it needed to be but this could have been a lot worse. That being said it’s also not any interesting match and I’m also not sure why these teams were fighting in the first place. It also doesn’t help that they weren’t exactly putting in the strongest effort, though it’s kind of hard to blame them at this point.

Dusty Rhodes orders 240 burritos to get ready for his match later. See, if Flair loses he has to kiss Dusty’s….yeah you get the idea.

Buff interviews Rick Steiner, who isn’t sure why Scott is so freaked out. It’s probably Midajah though.

Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire look at something several feet away from the camera as they talk about how they’ll die to keep the Tag Team Titles.

Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Shane Helms

Chavo is def…..what’s that? Oh WCW put up the wrong graphic because they can’t go five minutes without screwing something up? Let’s try this again.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Shane Helms

Chavo is defending for reasons that the announcers can’t cover because they’re too busy talking about Dusty and his burritos. Ignore them saying the wrong number of burritos because they can’t remember something Dusty said five minutes ago. Chavo beat Shane back in January but Shane has gotten much better (and put on trunks instead of pants) since then and earned another title shot last month.

A headlock gives Chavo early control and a clothesline cuts off Shane’s attempt to increase the pace. Shane gets in a middle rope fist drop for two as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled by this. It’s almost like those two really boring matches killed the crowd’s enthusiasm or something. A high angle t-bone suplex gets two for the champ and it’s off to an STF. The idea they’re going for is Chavo taking away Shane’s rhythm and not letting him get anything going so at least there’s an idea here.

We hit a Muta Lock for a bit before they can’t bridge into a backslide. Shane comes back and sends Chavo outside, only to have the champ slide back in and hit a dive off the top. You don’t see Chavo fly often but he looks good when he does it. Back in and Shane grabs a swinging neckbreaker to put both guys down.

The Sugar Smack knocks Chavo off the apron but he comes right back with a sitout reverse inverted DDT. Helms grabs the Nightmare on Helms Street for two but Chavo crotches him on top, only to pick Shane up instead of cover. Ever the overconfident one, Chavo tries his own Vertebreaker and is promptly reversed into the real thing to give Shane the title.

Rating: B-. This was much more entertaining than good but the important part was the story they told to get here. Shane started off as the unpolished talent and then moved on to become the champion after honing his skills. Chavo was a great champion and more than made the title feel important again but his reign was over and it was Shane’s time. Not a great match but a really good story.

Flair and Jarrett say they’ll win.

Booker T. says he’s coming for the only title he’s never won.

We recap Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo vs. Totally Buff which is your standard new school vs. old school feud. The champs have beaten Luger and Bagwell for weeks now so the signs point to new champions here.

Tag Team Title: Totally Buff vs. Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo

Totally Buff, challenging here, have individual entrances. Before the match we need to hear about Luger and Bagwell getting rid of Goldberg all over again because that hasn’t been touched on enough. The champs come to the ring and it’s a superkick into the Seanton Bomb for the pin to retain in less than a minute. Hudson: “That was a Georgia Championship Wrestling squash!” I guess it takes the company dying to have Luger put someone over this strongly like he should have done two years ago. As glad as I’ll be to see WCW finally finish, I’d still really like to see what they did with O’Haire. That guy had it.

Scott Steiner yells about beating Page tonight.

We recap The Cat vs. Kanyon which started when over Kanyon laying out Miss Jones, attacking her in a hospital and then not being able to stop the angry limo driver, who came off as looking like the big star out of all this thing.

Buff is still down in the ring but gets up pointing at his neck.

The Cat vs. Kanyon

Kanyon goes after Jones again and is sent into the barricade a few times. Apparently Kanyon broke his hand on Monday night (not Tuesday Tony). They head inside for the first time with cat electric chair dropping Kanyon off the ropes but Kanyon starts hitting him with the cast.

That just earns him a powerbomb because a cast shot to the head merely annoys Cat. Kanyon gets two off a top rope clothesline, which Hudson says wasn’t worthy of a cover. The middle rope Fameasser gets the same and we hit the chinlock, followed by a swinging neckbreaker for two. Cat’s superplex gets two and it’s time for the dancing martial arts.

Kanyon can’t do his snap sitout Alabama Slam for some reason so he settles for a Boston crab instead. A Feliner out of nowhere gets two as Kanyon puts his foot on the rope because this match needs to keep going. Kanyon’s cast shot gets two more (that’s a horrible cast) and the referee goes down. Jones comes in and kicks Cat by mistake, only to kick Kanyon away, setting up the Feliner for the pin.

Rating: D. The ending was the only possible choice but that doesn’t mean it was the right way to get there. Kanyon clearly wasn’t trying and you don’t want to have the Cat be the one responsible for carrying a match. Boring match here but at least we got one more appearance from Miss Jones for the road.

Post match Kanyon gives Cat the Flatliner but Smooth comes out to save Jones.

Totally Buff argues over the loss.

Dusty has eaten a lot of burritos and promises it’s going to smell bad. This isn’t funny.

We recap Booker T. vs. Rick Steiner which is really just to give Booker something to do before he can fight Scott for the World Title.

US Title: Rick Steiner vs. Booker T.

Booker is challenging. Rick punches him to the floor to start and sends Booker into the crowd because this is about making Rick look strong. Back in and a Pearl River Plunge gets a delayed two for the champion but Booker grabs an Angle Slam of all things. That’s it for his offense at the moment though as Rick gets in a belly to belly for two. We hit the chinlock because Booker can’t be on offense for more than ten seconds in a row.

It’s also too much to ask for Rick to actually crank on the hold. Booker comes back again and hits the ax kick (now the Ghetto Blaster) but the referee gets kicked by mistake so Rick can take over AGAIN. Cue Shane Douglas to hit Rick with the cast but Rick is fine enough to miss a swing, setting up the Bookend to give Booker the title.

Rating: F. That’s entirely on Rick as Booker wasn’t even on offense for a minute in this whole thing. I don’t know what happened to Rick in the last few years but he has turned into the most selfish worker I’ve ever seen. Booker is one of the best of all time but you have to give him SOMETHING to work with other than a bunch of chinlocks and a beating.

Buff has been laid out and Lex accuses Animal.

We recap the Rhodes Family vs. Ric Flair/Jeff Jarrett. Dustin wouldn’t join the Magnificent Seven so Ric has gone after him. The only option was to bring in Dusty Rhodes because it’s not like there was anyone else they could have gone with here. It’s not like they could have gone with O’Haire, Palumbo, or any of the other young guys. No, they had to have a long feud with Lex Luger and Buff Bagwell remember. I mean, you get a nice nostalgia moment with Dusty and Ric but WCW needs to have people like Flair and Dustin giving what rubs they can to someone at this point, not being the focal points.

Jeff Jarrett/Ric Flair vs. Dustin Rhodes/Dusty Rhodes

Losers have to, shall we say, kiss up to the winners. Flair is wrestling in a Hawaiian shirt for reasons that aren’t quite clear. Actually Ric says he won’t wrestle, which results in Animal being ejected. Jeff jumps Dustin to start but gets punched in the corner several times. Dustin crotches him against the post with Tony saying “the Yellow Rose of Texas.” No real context to that one unless he’s changed Dustin into David Von Erich.

Flair comes in for some chops and it’s off to Dusty for some strutting. Dustin is back in but the Dust Buster is broken up to give the heels control again. Jeff does the sleeper and they go through the standard counter package. It’s time to work on Dustin’s knee but Flair get small packaged for two.

Jeff comes right back in and puts on the Figure Four. That goes nowhere as Dustin escapes and hits a belly to back for the tag to Dusty, who apparently is full of burritos and ready to go. Dusty drops the big elbow for two on Flair and it’s back to Dustin as everything breaks down. Double Figure Fours are broken up and Dustin rolls Flair up for the pin.

Rating: D. I’m not wild on Dustin and Jarrett as the young pups for this match but it was a one off match and fun enough match for what it was. The fans reacted to it and while they would have been better off giving someone young a rub here, it could have been much worse. Also the show needed something much more lighthearted after the string of lame matches that people didn’t want to see.

Ric bails so Jeff has to take a very weak Stinkface from Dusty.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page with the idea of Page being the last hero standing. Well save for Booker who came back after this match was made.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page is challenging, anything goes, and this is falls count anywhere, which was announced less than three hours ago. Midajah is here with Steiner, making her attack on Monday seem a bit pointless. Steiner knocks him outside to start but Page comes back in with a top rope clothesline for two. The champ takes over on the floor and gets in some yelling at fans.

They fight over the Spanish announcers’ table (oh it’s so funny) with Scott breaking a kid’s crutch over Page’s back. The same kid throws Page his other crutch for a shot to Steiner’s back so Page can drive an elbow through a table for two. Back to ringside with Page hitting him in the head with a breakaway plate of some sort for another near fall. A t-bone suplex drops Page and it’s off to the bearhug.

Steiner puts his boot between Page’s shoulders and pulls back on the arms until a DDT plants the champ. Back up and Page gets the Diamond Cutter, only to have Rick Steiner pull out the referee. The bloody Page is put in the Recliner but makes sure to do the Austin in the Sharpshooter pose before reaching the ropes. Some shots to the ribs with a pipe set up another Recliner to knock Page out and retain the title.

Rating: C+. This was a match where they put too much stuff in at the end and it bogged the rest down. Page was as good as you would expect him to be as he’s one of two stable main eventers (the other being Booker T.) for months if not years now. The falls count anywhere stipulation didn’t need to happen but the bloody collapse near the end suited Page well. Shame they can’t follow up on it though.

A recap of the night’s events wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: C. I know the line is that the cruiserweights often carry a WCW show but I never remember it happening to this kind of an extreme. Main event aside, the cruiserweights were the only good things (save for a 54 second squash) on this entire show. The middle portion of this show was an absolute disaster and the best proof you’ll find of how understaffed WCW was around their final few shows. The Cat is treated as a big star, Booker T. gets squashed until he wins off a fluke, Ice Train is a conquering hero, and something about Dusty Rhodes eating burritos.

Now let’s talk about the good for a bit. That opening half hour with the two cruiserweight matches is as good a stretch as WCW has put on in a very, very long time. It’s fast paced, it’s high quality and it’s half of exactly what the show should have opened with. This is a standard problem with WCW: they load most of the exciting matches on the top of the show and then let things die throughout the middle. Swap Cat vs. Kanyon with the Cruiserweight Tag Team Title match and see how much better it feels, if nothing else due to having the titles seem more important.

No matter how you look at it though, that’s the final WCW pay per view and it’s still the same batch of problems that their shows had for a long time, mainly stemming from the talent near the top not being great. I know Dustin is still around today but that doesn’t mean he should be in the second biggest match on a pay per view. This show worked due to how hard the young guys worked but it was just far too little too late.

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