ECW on TNN
Date: September 22, 2000
Location: Hershey Centre, Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

You really can see that this show is in trouble and the fact that Monday Night Raw is debuting on TNN three days after this show doesn’t make things look promising. They don’t have a major storyline at the moment other than Justin Credible defending the ECW World Title against Jerry Lynn in about two weeks on pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Joel are happy to be making their Canadian debut and we get to hear about Joel being maple syrup flavored. Then it’s Jerry Lynn coming out for a chat but Justin Credible interrupts in a hurry. That doesn’t go very far either as Steve Corino comes out to interrupt. Corino yells at Lynn for using his blood as body art (a fair complaint) and at Credible for cheating to retain the title. A challenge is issued to both guys but here’s Spike Dudley (still in charge despite Heyman showing up a few weeks ago) to interrupt again.

Tonight it’s going to be a three way dance for the title, which I would normally complain about but it’s not like this show has anything to build towards for the future. Spike has a guest referee in mind, only to have Rhino come out with a Gore before the anything can be announced. Cue New Jack of all people for the big garbage segment. Apparently he’s the guest referee because that makes sense. Jack hits Justin low with a vacuum cleaner and loads up the staple gun, only to have Justin and Rhino get up for the double team.

Clips of Kid Kash vs. Mikey Whipwreck from Hardcore TV with Rhino interfering and laying both guys out. That sets up the following.

TV Title: Kid Kash vs. Rhino

Kash is defending and this is joined in progress with Kash sending him outside for a dive over the barricade. So wait is this on Hardcore TV or ECW on TNN? It’s already time for a table but Kash mostly stumbles through a springboard hurricanrana before Rhino can use it. Kash springboards into a flip dive to the floor (no mats of course because they’re too hardcore for things like protecting their wrestlers) for two back inside. The table is set up in the corner and a Gore cuts Kash down. Another Gore through the table gives Rhino the title back.

Rating: D. Well that happened and now we get Rhino vs. Van Dam III for the title at the pay per view. Giving Kash the title for two weeks was fine enough, albeit not the best option when they could have put it on a bunch of different people for a more interesting result. At least it’s a rub though and that’s very important for them right now.

Post match Rhino calls out Van Dam who comes out and no sells a Gore until security breaks it up.

Chris Hamrick vs. Nova

They don’t waste time here as Elektra and Jazz get in a catfight about thirty seconds in. Nova walks into a clothesline but grabs a quick Kryptonite Crunch (White Noise) for the pin in about a minute.

Post match Chris Chetti comes in to beat on Nova and Jazz. Chetti is tired of being held back when he’s the only real athlete in that locker room. He claims to swing a chair better than anyone here so it’s time for Balls Mahoney to chase him off. Now Da Baldies come out to beat on Balls because just two run-ins aren’t enough. Let’s make it four as Chilly Willy comes in for the real save.

Tag Team Titles: FBI vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

FBI is defending. Guido and Doring get things going as the announcers discuss Cyrus vs. Gertner for the pay per view. We get an early standoff and Doring is livid over something. Tony comes in and the fans lose their minds over the idea of Roadkill coming in as well. It’s actually more technical wrestling until Roadkill throws Tony right into the arms of Big Sal.

Tony armdrags him down but gets his chest sat on in the eternally stupid sunset flip attempt. Guido tries his luck to about the same avail as it’s a World’s Strongest Slam and Vader Bomb elbow for two from the big man. Everything breaks down and Doring misses a big dive to the floor. Roadkill shrugs off some double teaming but Big Sal gets in a cheap shot to slow Doring down.

That advantage lasts all of ten seconds as a low blow breaks up Guido’s Kiss of Death. The hot tag brings in Roadkill for the house cleaning spot (smart given his ridiculous popularity) and everything breaks down. The Buggy Bang only gets two as Sal pulls the referee out. Roadkill gets shoved off the top through a table and it’s Doring getting splashed by Sal to retain the titles.

Rating: C. You have all those good tag teams and an effective tag team tournament but for some reason we get the rather lame FBI as the champions for reasons that aren’t clear. The problem is they’re just a basic team and that’s not enough when you have all those other options available.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Steve Corino

Justin is defending……next week. We get all three entrances as the show ends. Oh come on with the false advertising.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s really hard to get mad at this show when there’s so little going on all the time around here. The wrestling was mostly from other shows or a way to keep the Tag Team Titles on one of the worst possible options. I was actually looking forward to that three way but nah, let’s just say it’s tonight and do it next week instead. That’s not exactly classy, no matter how bad a place they’re in at the moment.

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ECW on TNN
Date: September 15, 2000
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

I’m hoping we can wrap up the final four episodes of this show in peace instead of the wild chaos that was last week’s show. We’re getting closer to Anarchy Rulz and this week we set up the main event as Steve Corino challenges Justin Credible for the ECW World Title. That could mean anything around here so let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of last week’s TV Title change.

Opening sequence.

Unholy Alliance vs. Julio Dinero/EZ Money

So Fantastico is now Dinero and his team has Chris Hamrick in the corner. The Alliance would be Mikey Whipwreck/Tajiri. Mikey hurricanranas Dinero to start and the former champs start snapping off kicks to take over early on. Tajiri and Money trade standing moonsaults for two each before Tajiri just kicks Money square in the jaw. The heel trio’s (because of course they’re a heel trio) chick Elektra distracts Tajiri long enough for a low blow to take over.

It’s off to Dinero for a Samoan drop into a neckbreaker…..which is called the Jalapeno Popper. Again I say, of course it is. Mikey kicks Dinero in the head for a save and it’s Whipwreck cleaning house. Everything breaks down and Dinero gets abused in a Tree of Woe, because that spot isn’t used all the time around here. Chris Hamrick’s interference goes badly and a double brainbuster ends Dinero.

Rating: C-. Two things here. First of all, ECW goes WAY overboard naming its moves. There were probably ten moves in this match with a name, many of which were just basic moves that didn’t require one. It gets distracting, but that’s the case with a lot of things Joey does on commentary.

The second thing is how ECW’s booking screws them over. This was a mostly straight match with winners and losers. Unfortunately I spent most of the match waiting on the interference and insanity but since it never came, the match felt incomplete. That’s absolutely not on the wrestlers and the match was fine but ECW booking continues to cause problems for itself, especially when you have a regular match.

Joel Gertner makes tires/condom jokes for his weekly rhyme.

We look at the FBI winning the Tag Team Titles last week.

The Sinister Minister and the Unholy Alliance swear vengeance. Minister: “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. Your souls for the ECW Tag Team Titles.” Tajiri: “This promo is OVER!”

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Steve Corino

Justin is defending but we’re not ready yet as Francine has a contract saying Jack Victory can’t be at ringside. Corino says his boy is gone before insulting Francine (whose reaction is great as always) and saying they’ve fallen into his trap. See, they’ll never be able to out heel them because his new manager is Dawn Marie.

They slug it out to start as Joey explains Corino going from a comedy guy to a World Title contender in a few months. You’re not helping yourself here chum. Corino knocks him into the crowd but gets low blowed back inside because Justin doesn’t know how to do much else. It’s already chair time with Corino going face first for two. Justin puts up a table as a platform between the ring and the barricade, only to have the girls get into it as Joel makes really stupid jokes.

Back in and Corino makes a comeback until Francine grabs his boot. The referee gets bumped (I still don’t get that spot in ECW) so here’s Loud E. Dangerously with the cell phone over the head. Cue Billy Corgan with a guitar to Lou’s head (Joel: “Corgan just smashed that pumpkin!”) and the superkick gets no count on Justin. That means it’s time for another table (for when one isn’t enough) with Corino grabbing a northern lights suplex through the wood for two.

We get the catfight for a bit before a bunch of cane shots have Steve in trouble. Of course that means blood as a big cane shot gets two. Old School Expulsion gets two as we fill in Justin’s Bingo card with “kick out of a finisher”. Corino throws in a bunch of chairs but Francine cuts him off. You would think Dawn might DO SOMETHING HERE but she just lets Francine get tombstoned. That’s Incredible on a chair retains Justin’s title.

Rating: C. The concept of making Corino look like a player worked here but giving Justin this much time isn’t the best idea. I do like the idea of a new face in the main event scene though but at some point he needs to actually win something over someone who isn’t Dusty Rhodes. Not bad or anything, assuming you can handle this much Justin Credible in a row.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s very, very clear that they were stretching stuff out (an ECW match getting nearly twenty minutes does not happen) to get an extra episode of TV out of this taping cycle. This was really just boring and waiting around until we have a pay per view main event set up. I mean, more wrestling is definitely good around here, but is there even a top story now that the Network is gone?

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ECW on TNN
Date: September 8, 2000
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

We’re still in New York and that’s a good thing based on the atmosphere alone. It’s a double title defense week as the new Tag Team Champions Tajiri and Mikey Whipwreck will defend against the FBI while Rhino will defend the TV Title against Kid Kash. Above all else though, it’s just nice to have Tag Team Champions who can defend their titles. Let’s get to it.

Joel and Joey do their thing and Joel talks about various women he’s had in New York. Cue Cyrus to say this show is canceled, drawing a USA chant. Cyrus goes on a rant about how horrible New Yorkers are as the announcer tease fighting him. Paul Heyman runs in for a phone shot to the head, only to have Rhino come out and put Paul through a table. A fan runs in so Rhino beats up a cop. The locker room empties out for a huge brawl and the roster body surfs Kid Kash over to Rhino for the TV Title match.

TV Title: Rhino vs. Kid Kash

Rhino is defending and ignore the other twenty people in the ring. Sandman does his big entrance as everyone else gets on the floor. We FINALLY get back to the ring as Rhino has choked Kash down in the corner, leaving Sandman to cane the champ in the head over and over. Rhino Gores him out to the floor and Kash does a big flip dive onto most of the roster.

Back in and Kash gets Gored, only to have Rob Van Dam come out for a Van Daminator (with Rhino just standing there and catching the chair like a moron). A Van Terminator sets up a Five Star/guillotine legdrop combo to give Kash the title. There’s no way I’m rating this as Kash and Rhino interacted for all of thirty seconds of this “match”, a good chunk of which was spent on Sandman’s entrance and the roster getting back to its feet.

Back from a break and let’s recap the first third of the show.

On the streets of Time Square, the Sinister Minister says he hasn’t slept since 1972 and he spends all that time thinking of evil thoughts. The FBI has been cursed so Tajiri and Mikey will be ready to keep their titles. Tajiri speaks Spanish and everyone laughs.

Blue Boy vs. Balls Mahoney

Joined in progress with Balls hammering away until a back elbow slows him down. The fans are all over St. Clair here as the referee shoves Boy down. The Ball Breaker sets up the New Jersey Jam (top rope legdrop) but Balls kisses Jasmin instead of covering. I’m sure you can imagine the jokes that Joel is firing off here. A big chair shot puts Blue Boy away.

Rating: D-. This was just a way for the fans to make blue ball jokes (How did Joel not get one in?) and fill in some time. I’m sure this was entertaining for ECW fans but this show hasn’t exactly been heavy on the wrestling quality in the first place and it’s only getting worse as the show goes on.

Jasmin hits Balls with the weakest chair shots of all time so he gives her a Nutcracker Sweet.

Video on Danny Daniels (referee) costing Jerry Lynn some matches.

Da Baldies throw people out of the ECW New York bar. Angel steals a man’s prosthetic leg.

Tag Team Titles: Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck vs. FBI

The FBI is challenging and they have to split up if they lose. Tony and Mikey get things going and the announcers go for the easy fat jokes about Big Sal. We start with a wrestling sequence and Tony grabs a short armscissors. Joey: “I haven’t seen one of those in a long time.” Joel: “Open your eyes. There’s one going on right now.” It’s off to Tajiri vs. Guido for a nice ovation as the fans are going to remember something that worked so well multiple times.

A quick strike off gives us a stalemate so it’s back to Tony. That just means a loud kick to the head before the champs flip Tony over, sending him head first into the mat. Stereo kicks to the head set up stereo STF’s to make the FBI tap, which doesn’t count for reasons unclear. Tajiri moonsaults onto all three Italians and it’s table time. Using Sal as a launch pad, Mikey dives onto Tony and Guido.

It’s all champions so far, making me almost certain that they’re losing the belts here. More chair shots to the head have the Italians reeling and something like a Conchairto makes things even worse for Guido. An Italian chair shot FINALLY slows Mikey down and the challengers are suddenly just fine because long term selling isn’t a thing in ECW.

Mikey comes right back with a tilt-a-whirl reverse powerbomb to send Tony throat first across the top rope in a sweet counter. The hot tag brings in Tajiri to clean house with a chair, followed by a Whippersnapper through a table. Sal gets blinded but is still able to hit a superkick, setting up the Kiss of Death onto a chair to give Guido the pin on Tajiri.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. The story here, if you can call it that, was basically the Italians get beaten up, then they beat up the champs for a few seconds, only to have a lot of cheating give them the belts. I’m really not a fan of this kind of match but at least there was wrestling involved instead of the usual nonsense. I mean, other than acting like Big Sal is there for anything other than comedy of course.

Overall Rating: D-. After a few weeks of ECW starting to look better, they go right back to their old standards with this mess. This was a bunch of throwing everything out the window and doing whatever they wanted in less than an hour because it gets them towards their pay per view without having to put in any of the effort. The lack of almost any wrestling for the sake of brawling doesn’t make it any better. I couldn’t stand this show and it was every bad thing ECW is known for in one show.

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ECW on TNN
Date: September 1, 2000
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

After last week, I’m really not sure what to expect from this show. This promotion goes from a fun wrestling show to some insane clip show with a bunch of wrestling that wasn’t very good to set up an angle that we’ve seen before. The next pay per view is in just over a month and I have no idea we’re going to see on the way there. Let’s get to it.

We see the end of Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck advancing to the finals of the Tag Team Title tournament.

Opening sequence.

Joey and Joel are in the ring and the big arena does actually look cool. Joel does his rhyme about various escapades in each of the boroughs before Steve Corino comes out, flanked by Billy Corgan playing New York, New York on his guitar. I’m not sure how old school the Smashing Pumpkins were in 2000 but it’s better than Limp Bizkit.

Corino is the new #1 contender (What about Jerry?) and refuses to apologize for cheating to pin New Jack, Dusty Rhodes and Tommy Dreamer. He’s not going to apologize either when he pins Justin Credible. Cue Lou E. Dangerously and WHEN DID HE BECOME JUSTIN’S MANAGER? He’s not Justin’s manager? Well he certainly acts like him and that doesn’t help because this company makes no sense half the time with all the people running around doing random promos to advance the overall angles.

Lou yells about wanting to beat Corgan up and wants the title shot at Anarchy Rulz. A fight is about to break out when Justin Credible “sneaks” (read as Corino clearly looks over his shoulder to see him coming in) in and canes Corino. Corgan actually chokes Justin with the cane until Lou hits him in the back of the head with the phone. Lou says that’s a message from the Network. Ok so he works for the Network and not Justin? Really I’m not sure at this point and I don’t particularly care either.

Tag Team Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Rhino/Justin Credible vs. Sandman/Chilly Willy

The winners get Jerry Lynn/Tommy Dreamer. A table is brought in less than ten seconds in but Sandman cleans house with the cane. Rhino shrugs them off and Gores Sandman through the table for two, followed by the piledriver to advance Credible and Rhino in less than two minutes. Did Willy stop for a taco?

Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Simon and Swinger vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring

Roadkill starts fast with a powerslam on Simon but CW pulls Doring to the floor because almost every heel is part of a stable. A double Downward Spiral gets two on Doring but he grabs a double Bareback (Those names get annoying.) and makes the hot tag. Everything breaks down and Roadkill is thrown through a table, only to have Anderson hit Simon by mistake. Not that it matters as the Problem Solver puts Doring away and send Simon and Swinger to the finals.

Rating: D+. As much of a mess as most of ECW was at the end, they did have a good tag division going. Unfortunately we barely saw most of it as the matches were either clipped or had nothing on the line because of the ridiculous four month waiting period. Four weeks is a long time to not have champions but from April to September is unthinkable.

Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Tommy Dreamer/Jerry Lynn vs. Rhino/Justin Credible

Joined in progress with separate brawls in the crowd. They’re nice enough to come back to the ring with Jerry dropping Justin but having to spank Francine instead of going for the pin. The Gore takes Dreamer out and there’s a piledriver through the table. Little Spike Dudley comes in with an Acid Drop to Rhino and the cradle piledriver puts Justin away to send Dreamer/Lynn to the finals.

Rating: D. As usual, WAY too much going on to keep track of anything here and that gets annoying in a hurry. Why do so many matches have to go into the crowd in a wild brawl or have so many people interfering? Would a straight match every now and then, especially when we’re coming up on a title shot, be too much to ask for?

Tag Team Titles: Tommy Dreamer/Jerry Lynn vs. Simon and Swinger vs. Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck

The titles are vacant coming in and this is elimination rules. The Sinister Minister is the only manager present and Dreamer is in a neck brace. Tajiri, Lynn and Simon start things off with Simon sitting back while the other two start fast. Everyone tags out and the new three stare at each other for a bit.

Swinger stops to pose and gets put down by the physique-phobic Dreamer and Whipwreck. Everyone fights to the floor (of course) and Dreamer actually kicks Tajiri for a change of pace. Lynn takes Simon back inside for a bow and arrow hold. All six get inside again and it’s time for double Tarantulas with Lynn and Mikey being stretched.

They’re fine enough for stereo tornado DDT’s for stereo two’s on Simon and Swinger. Cue CW Anderson to hit Dreamer with something made of metal, setting up the Problem Solver for the elimination. The locker room comes out to watch as Tajiri mists Simon, setting up a Whippersnapper for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. This is the kind of match that I normally don’t care for but at least it gives us something. Tajiri and Whipwreck are still a new team but at least they’re a team instead of two people just thrown together for the sake of being thrown together. They’re fine as the new champions, especially since they’ll defend the titles against a strong tag division.

Everyone celebrates with the new champions.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s like they were trying to show a tournament in one night but didn’t have enough time. It was kind of confusing when they went from one round to the other and some brackets would have helped a lot. The finals being shown in full was the right move though and while I would have gone with Simon and Swinger, at least the titles aren’t vacant like they’ve been since a few weeks after Wrestlemania.

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ECW on TNN
Date: August 18, 2000
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,400
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

The big story continues to be the upcoming Tag Team Title tournament which is taking place a week from this show. You would think they could schedule it sooner but the belts have already been vacant for four months so it’s not like it really makes much of a difference at this point. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Joel and Joey are doing their thing when we cut to Rhino, who grabs Francine by the hair to show us her broken nose. Justin Credible gets in his face so Rhino says he’d be champion if he had the chance. Injuries are promised and we get no explanation for who hurt Francine, though it’s treated like something we’re supposed to know.

Jerry Lynn vs. Bilvis Wesley

Lynn is suddenly #1 contender. Actually hang on a second as the referee grabs the mic. Apparently he’s not happy with Lynn for running into him every single time he referees Jerry’s matches. There’s a bounty on Jerry so the referee might want to claim it. The referee gets dropped so here’s Rhino to Gore Jerry Lynn through a table and then leave. Jerry fights off Tom Marquez before the cradle piledriver knocks Bilvis silly. The original referee gets up though and calls a DQ for Jerry hitting him again.

The Prodigette tries to interfere and gets a piledriver of her own. I have no idea what the point of any of this was.

Tajiri vs. Psicosis

This is from Hardcore TV for reasons that aren’t entirely clear. They’re quickly on the mat with Tajiri putting on a Brock Lock but getting flipped into a cover for two. The match is clipped (Why is this happening?) to a fast sequence and a bunch of one counts. Another clip takes us to a sweet pinfall reversal sequence and a third takes us to Psicosis crashing out to the floor thanks to a missed dive.

Another clip means we see Psicosis diving over the top to take Tajiri out again. Clipped, yet again, to a baseball slide into Psicosis’ face as he’s caught in the Tree of Woe. Tajiri hits a Stunner for two and….well you know what happens by this point. Clipped again to a Psicosis getting two off a guillotine legdrop, setting up some kicks to give Tajiri the pin. WAY too much clipping here for it to be rated but what we saw was fun.

Tajiri is in Sinister Minister’s clothes as Minister talks about crossing a line. Mikey Whipwreck comes in with balloons on his hands and sounding like Chris Farley. This show makes my head hurt very badly. Thankfully Tajiri and the Minister are confused as well.

More Hardcore TV clips of Roadkill/Danny Doring/Tommy Dreamer vs. CW Anderson/Simon and Swinger. There’s more clipping here but less action as the match was cut off for a posedown, including Roadkill doing Hogan’s poses. A wild brawl broke out and the Buggy Bang puts Swinger away.

Justin Credible/Rhino vs. Kid Kash/Rob Van Dam

Apparently Francine’s nose was broken last night at a house show. Well that’s more of an explanation than I was expecting. Kash and Credible start things off and a headscissors sends the champ off to a tag to Rhino. That means it’s time for Kash’s first hurricanrana which staggers Rhino far more than it should. Rob gets the tag and fires off some kicks before Kash has to save him from a gorilla press.

Back to back dives to the floor take the villains out again and everyone is down. Justin gets in his one non-finishing move, the superkick, to take over on Kash before handing it off to Rhino to do the work. Kash finally moonsaults onto Justin to put them both down and slides over for the tag to Van Dam. That means it’s time for a chair as everything breaks down, only to have Rhino clean house again.

Van Dam kicks Rhino in the face and drops Kash into a legdrop for two. A low blow breaks up Justin’s superplex on Kash and sets up a HORRIBLY botched super hurricanrana as Justin is dropped onto his head. The Five Star gets no cover as Rob goes up again, only to get caned by Justin. The Moneymaker plants Justin and there goes the referee. Rhino piledrives Kash through a table and of course here’s Sandman because this feud just won’t end. Sandman canes Rhino a few times until Justin canes Sandman from behind. Now it’s Steve Corino coming in to superkick Rhino, setting up the Van Terminator for the pin.

Rating: D. So the big deal is that Van Dam finally pinned Rhino and it only took four people to do it. If this is the best thing ECW can come up with, then they’re in more trouble than I was thinking coming in. It’s also going to be even harder to care about Van Dam vs. Rhino on pay per view as we’ve seen it twice on free TV already but that doesn’t seem to matter to the company.

Overall Rating: D-. I’m really not sure what this show was supposed to be. We had a weird angle at the beginning, two clipped matches from another TV show and a long main event with an angle that doesn’t really mean much. We’ve got about six weeks before Anarchy Rulz and I’m really not sure what I’m supposed to be excited about. Jerry Lynn getting a World Title shot in his home state? That’s the best they’ve got? Is there any reason we’re not getting Rob Van Dam as World Champion already? Bad show this week as they’re getting more bizarre than better.

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ECW on TNN
Date: August 18, 2000
Location: War Memorial, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re coming up on the Tag Team Title tournament and it’s actually making for an interesting story. Almost everyone is involved in the tournament, setting up a bunch of mini feuds as we head into the big night. On top of that the Network seems to have split up, which means we’re ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING. Let’s get to it.

We see Simon and Swinger helping CW Anderson beat Tommy Dreamer on Hardcore TV, setting up Danny Doring and Roadkill to make the save. The heels beat them down though and planted Jazz with a Problem Solver.

Rob Van Dam says he’s fighting Rhino tonight for the first time since he broke his ankle (no) and it’s time for a beating.

Opening sequence.

Lou E. Dangerously is in the ring with Cyrus as his guest. Cyrus rants about Steve Corino turning his back on the Network and here are Corino and Anton to interrupt. Corino doesn’t get to say anything as Cyrus says Corino was just an opening match comedy act and a mark for the business.

Then Corino got over with the people (I know ECW isn’t your normal wrestling promotion but I can’t stand it when that kind of lingo is used on TV.) and thought it was all because of the blood he’s shed. Corino swears a bit as Gertner talks about sperm. This sets up a match between Corino/Anton vs. Cyrus/Lou E. And never mind as Anton turns on Corino for a SWERVE that everyone could see coming because they’re not stupid.

FBI vs. Psicosis/Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck

Tony and Mikey start things off and this is already starting to look like another wrestling show. It’s already off to Guido for an inverted Fujiwara armbar (Would that hurt?) as the heels (who seem to be popular) take over. The tag brings in Psicosis to face Big Sal, who is immediately taken down because he’s a big fat tub of goo.

Some kicks to the head knock him silly and a bunch of dives take down the Italians. Back in and some kicks to the head get two on Tony but he comes right back with a DDT. Guido scores with a clothesline but eats a Whippersnapper as this match is dying. Everything breaks down and Tajiri mists Psicosis by mistake. Guido hits a quick Kiss of Death for the pin on Tajiri.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t so much a bad match as much as it was really dull. I get that it’s designed to set up something later on but the FBI isn’t interesting as they’re no longer comedy instead of just kind of there. That’s a major problem around here: people who don’t have a purpose and are only around for the sake of being around.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Kid Kash

Justin is defending in a rematch from last week. Kash gets a quick two off a spinning sunset flip to send Justin outside for an early breather. That means a lot of swearing and censoring of something that probably isn’t worthy of swearing and censoring. Justin throws a chair at Kash who sits down in the middle of the ring. A double springboard hurricanrana sends Justin outside again, setting up a huge dive off the top. Standard Kid Kash so far.

Back in and a good looking superkick (That’s our Justin!) drops Kash. A chinlock doesn’t go anywhere so Joel asks if Joey is gay for not wanting to sleep with Francine. Kash DDT’s the champ on the chair for two and there’s the ref bump. Before I can say “get Rhino out here so Van Dam can make the save”, Rhino comes out for the beatdown on Kash and Van Dam makes the save.

That’s Incredible is broken up and Kash hits the Moneymaker but the referee is still down and likely in a coma at this point. There’s a Gore for Kash so here’s Rob for the second save, only to have Justin kick out at a very close two. Francine blasts Kash with the kendo stick and a super That’s Incredible retains the title.

Rating: D+. Who thought this needed a rematch? I’m really not a fan of either guy and all the overbooking didn’t help things. At least I can finally keep track of who wants to fight who and why they want to do it but that doesn’t mean the wrestling is anything worth seeing. The ending never being in doubt didn’t help either.

TV Title: Rhino vs. Rob Van Dam

Rhino is defending and jumps Van Dam during his long entrance. They’re quickly in the crowd with Rhino in control as Bill Alfonso won’t stop with the stupid whistle. The Gore against the barricade makes things even worse for Van Dam as this is one sided so far. They get inside for the first time with a wicked powerbomb planting Van Dam again for no cover.

Rob FINALLY scores with a stepover kick and both guys are down. Van Dam skateboards a chair into Rhino’s face and a middle rope moonsault gets two. The Van Daminator sets up the Five Star but here’s Justin to break up the cover and throw the match out because you knew this wasn’t going to end clean.

Rating: C-. Again, WHY IS THIS NOT ON PAY PER VIEW??? This should be a major showdown but instead of drawing money, we’ve seen it twice in a row for the sake of popping a rating (by ECW standards of course) and this is what we’re stuck with as a result. Oh and more Justin because we haven’t seen enough of him lately.

Kid Kash fails at a save attempt so Sandman makes the real one to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I stand by my stance that Justin Credible is just crippling this show every single week. What in the world is supposed to be interesting about him? Someone taking the title off of him? That’s fine in theory, but don’t you need someone to be interesting before beating them matters? Justin continues to be the worst part of the show and unfortunately he’s also one of the focal points. No wonder I’m so sick of this show.

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ECW on TNN
Date: August 11, 2000
Location: Huntington Civic Center, Huntington, West Virginia
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re getting close to wrapping this show up and it’s back to the country after a week down in Houston. The big story coming out of last week is an actual match being announced for the Tag Team Title tournament with Sandman/Chilly Willy vs. Rhino/Justin Credible. Of course no date has been announced for that match but I doubt ECW knows either. Let’s get to it.

Lou E. Dangerously is in the ring to insult the West Virginia fans, who pelt the ring with garbage as a result. This is a ripoff of Paul Heyman’s old Danger Zone segment. After a quick jump to the announcers for an intro, Lou brings out Steve Corino and Scotty Anton. Lou rants about the Tag Team Title tournament before Corino says he doesn’t give a CENSORED what the Network feels.

They helped win the Network its titles and have been protecting the Network since day one. Cue Justin, who Steve says would be nothing without the two of them. Corino and Credible both claim credit for Justin’s title reign lasting before Steve goes nuclear by saying Justin has a lame catchphrase. Rhino comes out and Gores Anton, leaving Corino to get double teamed. Security breaks it up. So is the Network done now? I’d be ok with that.

Opening sequence.

Corino and Anton are leaving when Lou comes up and asks what Cyrus will think. Steve doesn’t care and they leave with Jack Victory.

Justin Credible and Kid Kash get in an argument, setting up a title match for later tonight.

Roadkill/Danny Doring vs. Tom Marquez/Bilvis Wesley

Marquez stupidly thinks he can slam Roadkill to start, which pretty much sums up the whole match. A Vader Bomb elbow sets up a Hart Attack as Joey and Joel make Elvis jokes. We get a quick chase around the ring until Marquez catches Doring with a spinwheel kick. Wesley puts on a Muta Lock of all things and Doring stays in trouble thanks to some double teaming.

Doring finally hits a Stroke (the G Spot Sweet because we’re in ECW) and the hot tag brings in Roadkill. You really can hear a pop when Roadkill comes in and that needs to be noticed. I know he’s not your typical ECW guy but the fans dig him and that’s important. Everything breaks down and the Buggy Bang (wheelbarrow slam/guillotine legdrop) ends Marquez.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of thing you don’t get enough of around here: a basic tag match with the bigger team going over but only after taking a beating. It’s nothing great or anything but it was wrestling instead of brawling and that really needs to happen more often. Roadkill and Doring are a good act and hopefully they go somewhere in the tournament.

Sinister Minister tries to teach Tajiri about temptation with a good looking woman. She winds up getting mist in the face and you can figure out the joke yourself. You could see her face before the mist but as soon as it hits, her face is a mosaic. Ok then.

Joey is aghast.

CW Anderson gives Simon and Swinger a pep talk.

We see CW Anderson laying out Jazz and insulting women’s wrestling. Tommy Dreamer made the save.

Tajiri vs. EZ Money

They hit the mat for some very fast covers (minus near falls) and it’s a standoff for some applause. When did this become a wrestling show? Money’s friend Chris Hamrick breaks up the Tarantula and a standing moonsault gets two on Tajiri. Another distraction lets Money’s other friend Julio Fantastico (Matt Tastic’s American cousin?) sneak in for a double wheelbarrow suplex. It’s time for a chair but Tajiri reverses a powerbomb into a tornado DDT. The Buzzsaw Kick is enough to put Money away.

Rating: C. Another simple wrestling match here with the bigger name overcoming the heel stable (there are WAY too many of those running around). It’s weird seeing Money lose so often when he was on a big winning streak in the dying days of WCW. He wasn’t anything great but there was something there.

The trio goes after Tajiri but he beats up all three losers without much effort. Cue the FBI (See what I mean about the heel stables?) for the real beatdown but Mikey Whipwreck comes out with a flaming 2×4 for the save.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Kid Kash

Kash is challenging and I’ll set his over/under on hurricanranas at five. It’s a pose off to start as Gertner makes sex jokes about Francine. They fight over a hammerlock until Kash gets in a clothesline to put the champ outside. A springboard dive (now that’s more like it Kash) takes Justin down again and another dive, which we can’t see, knocks Justin into the crowd.

Back in and Justin scores with a superkick but that’s enough wrestling so let’s have a chair. Kash is sent face first into said chair and it’s time for Justin to talk some trash on the mic. For the life of me I still don’t get the appeal of this guy. The champ crotches himself on the post as the announcers try to figure out how they can like Corino now that he turned on the Network.

Francine’s interference fails as she hits Justin with a metal sheet by mistake and Kash gets in his first hurricanrana. Francine tries to interfere again (giving us the required g-string shot)….and here’s Rhino to Gore Kash for the DQ/no contest since DQ’s aren’t a thing around here most of the time.

Rating: D+. Justin isn’t interesting and I’m running out of ways to say that. He’s a catchphrase, a Tombstone and weapon shots. Oh and an occasional superkick. I have no idea why he had the title as long as he did (sixth longest reign with the original title) and I have no idea what Heyman saw in him but he’s been stale for a long time.

Rob Van Dam (Kash’s partner in the tournament) makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I…..liked this? Somehow I think I did and it’s for a few very simple reasons. This show was focused on wrestling with only the main event featuring weapons actually being used. On top of that there’s the big story of the Tag Team Title tournament coming up to really tie the show together. It’s almost like this was a well put together show and that’s a good thing.

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ECW on TNN
Date: August 4, 2000
Location: Astro Arena Pavilion, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re getting close to the end here with just ten episodes left in the series. Unfortunately things were picking up a little bit around this point as some of the stories FINALLY started moving forward. There are still about two months to go before Anarchy Rulz so we’re still weeks away from setting up the show’s card. Let’s get to it.

We open with the last thirty seconds of Rhino Goring Nova to retain the TV Title. Ok then.

Opening sequence.

After Joel talks about being with a stripper named Alexis in his Lexus here in Houston, Texas, here’s Cyrus to do the same thing these two always do. Cyrus brings up the attack at Heat Wave which was an assault because Cyrus isn’t a wrestler. Tonight though, he has a wrestling license and is ready to fight Gertner one on one. This brings out Spike Dudley in a suit jacket but Cyrus isn’t impressed. The announcers leave as Spike says Heyman isn’t here tonight because he’s busy in Los Angeles. Therefore, Spike is the booker tonight and he has an idea. Here’s our opening match.

Cyrus vs. Sandman

A single cane shot brings in Rhino and yeah this isn’t a match.

Justin Credible comes in and Tombstones Sandman, drawing Spike back in to take a beating of his own. Spike takes a piledriver off the apron and through a table, leaving Sandman to take a double beating. Chilly Willy comes out for the save and gives Cyrus a falcon arrow.

Little Guido vs. Mikey Whipwreck

They trade chops in the corner to start with Mikey hammering away in the corner before slamming Guido’s head onto the mat. Mikey has to avoid Sal to send him into the post before getting two off a superplex. Another distraction lets Tony Mamaluke come in for a double Russian legsweep from the middle rope for two on Mikey. At least he can competently cheat. Mikey’s running DDT changes momentum again and there’s the Whippersnapper, only to have Sal distract the referee. Mamaluke drops a top rope leg to break up the cover and chairs Mikey in the head. The Kiss of Death puts Mikey away.

Rating: C. Not the worst here as Mikey is still very underrated despite being a Triple Crown Champion. It’s nice to see them actually doing something with Mikey after all these vignettes but the FBI are only so interesting. At least they’re letting the talented one do the wrestling instead of Sal and his freak show “abilities.”

Post match the FBI goes after Mikey, only to have Tajiri of all people come out for the save.

Earlier tonight, Kid Kash gave Rob Van Dam something close to a sweat. As in as close as you can get with hurricanrana after hurricanrana with an occasional dive thrown in.

This episode is dedicated to Gordon Solie. Nothing wrong with that.

Tajiri vs. Steve Corino vs. Jerry Lynn

Corino is sent to the floor early and we get a very fast near fall sequence from Corino and Lynn. A Tarantula has Lynn in even more trouble until Corino makes the save. Tajiri is sent outside for some double teaming from Victory and Corino, only to have Lynn dive onto both of them for the huge crash. Back in and Corino takes the mist, only to have Lynn cradle piledrive Tajiri for the elimination. Thanks to Victory washing his eyes out, Corino does Dusty Rhodes’ Bionic Elbow dance and gets two off a sitout powerbomb.

Jerry starts the one on one portion with a belly to back before a few rollups get a few near falls each. Corino gets crotched on the top but Lou E. Dangerously (He manages Corino right?) slips in the phone so Steve can knock Lynn silly for two. Cue Scotty Anton to snap Jerry’s neck across the top rope so Corino can hit the Old School Expulsion (reverse Twist of Fate) for the pin.

Rating: C. Not the worst match in the world here as they let the wrestlers wrestle. That being said, I’m still not a fan of having the third man get eliminated in the first few minutes so they can do a singles match without doing a singles match. It doesn’t help that I’ve lost track of who is on who’s side in this huge stable war. You know, assuming ECW is considered a stable of course.

The beatdown is on but Tommy Dreamer comes out and we’ve got a main event.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Scotty Anton

Well kind of as Victory beats on Jazz in the ring as Dreamer and Anton fight in the crowd. The people actually in the match come back to ringside with Dreamer beating on Anton until Scotty sends him into a ladder. Why is there a ladder there? Not important of course. Dreamer is busted open but is still able to send Anton into the ladder in the corner.

A superplex off the ladder (which was laid over the middle rope so that didn’t add much) drops Anton and it’s time to bridge the ladder over two chairs. Naturally it’s Dreamer being suplexed onto the ladder, which is horribly bent. The Clapper goes on so Jazz chairs Anton in the head. Dreamer drops an elbow onto a chair onto Anton’s face for the pin.

Rating: D+. Remember all those times I’ve told you that Scotty Anton isn’t very good and has no business being on these shows? That’s still the case, as this really wasn’t much to see. Dreamer doing tremendous harm to his body is entertaining enough but how many times can I see it before it loses its interest?

Cyrus makes Rhino/Justin Credible vs. Sandman/Chilly Willy for the first round of the Tag Team Title tournament. Justin says no way but Rhino promises to make him do it. Francine drags him away and Rhino rants a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Some stuff happened, the wrestling wasn’t great, the angles didn’t really change and we have a single match announced for next week. In other words, it’s your run of the mill ECW on TNN and that’s not the most interesting show in the world. This could have been much worse but the same problems are still here: nothing happens. When is the last time you remember something interesting happening on this show? I can’t remember it and that’s a big reason why this show didn’t last long.

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ECW on TNN
Date: July 28, 2000
Location: Peoria Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

Last week was a fairly stand alone show so hopefully things pick up this week. We’re months away from the next pay per view and that means it’s up to TV to carry things for a good while. After the last few months, I really don’t have a ton of confidence in ECW’s ability to do that but maybe I’ll be surprised. Let’s get to it.

TV Title: Rhino vs. Chilly Willy

Rhino is defending and this is joined in progress with Willy sending him into a chair for a near fall. The Gore and a piledriver put Willy away quick.

Post match Sandman saves Willy from going through a table and spears Rhino through it instead. Is there a reason this feud seems to be continuing?

Opening sequence.

Joey and Joel do their intro from the booth as Billy Corgan (yes that Billy Corgan) is in the ring with an original song about ECW. Cue Lou E. Dangerously with the Network to cut him off before Billy can start though. Various Smashing Pumpkins insults result in Lou taking a guitar to the head. Network runs in, Dreamer and Lynn make the save. Dreamer issues a challenges for a falls count anywhere tag later tonight.

Tajiri vs. Psicosis

Actually hang on as the FBI jumps Tajiri so we have a replacement.

Little Guido vs. Psicosis

Guido sunsets in for two at the bell but a big dive takes the Italians down. Back in and Psicosis is sent shoulder first into the post with Guido ramming it into the post over and over. Guido punches him down for two and hits a middle rope seated dropkick (that’s a new one) for two. Sal gets in a running splash against the barricade to set up a Sicilian crab, only to have Tajiri come in with a kick to the head. The guillotine legdrop puts Guido away.

Rating: C. These cruiserweight matches are fine but it would be nice if they went somewhere. It’s almost like they should be fighting for the TV Title instead of having both singles titles stuck in the main event scene. The match was fun and all and the ending sets up something else, but it would have been nice to have this go somewhere instead of being a one off match/nothing feud.

Rhino yells about various good guys.

We look at Kid Kash beating EZ Money on Hardcore TV.

Dawn Marie takes Joel’s place and mugs for the camera a lot.

We look at Carl Ouellet (Remember him?) putting Francine through a table and getting beaten up by Justin Credible as a result.

Rob Van Dam thinks the Van Terminator is pretty awesome. He’s pretty cool in general actually.

Blue Boy and Jasmine St. Clair were on Hardcore TV with Blue E. Dangerously by their side. Jazz came out and powerbombed Jasmine out of her dress.

Steve Corino/Scotty Anton vs. Jerry Lynn/Tommy Dreamer

Falls count anywhere. It’s a brawl to start with Anton getting Dreamer in an early Clapper with Jerry making a save. Lynn dives onto Corino and Victory and the four people actually in the match head into the crowd. Corino is bleeding badly (well duh) and here’s Dreamer with a ladder. Dreamer takes Anton back inside but gets sent face first into the top of the ladder for his efforts.

The ladder is bridged between two chairs and Lynn crashes his way through it to put the Network in control. The good guys snap after being forced to do the Clap but the referee gets bumped. Dreamer and Lynn use each others’ finishers and a second referee comes out to count two with Jack Victory decking the second referee. Cue Billy Corgan to lay out Jack and count the pin.

Rating: C. Standard overly violent ECW main event here with the celebrity cameo near the end for a bit of a twist. Anton is still the worst main event guy in a long time, which is covering a lot of ground in a company with Justin Credible around. It would be nice if these matches meant something instead of just more mindless brawling but that’s not going to happen.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m getting very bored by this promotion and it’s no surprise that they’re in a lot of trouble at the moment. There’s just no creativity in what they’re doing and it’s the same stuff over and over again with the same brawling week to week.This week ECW won and odds are next week the Network wins and so on and so forth because that’s how ECW works.

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ECW on TNN
Date: July 21, 2000
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re finally past Heat Wave and….nothing happened. Justin Credible is still World Champion, Rhino is still TV Champion, we still have no Tag Team Champions and the Network is still endlessly feuding with ECW. The next pay per view isn’t until October so this might not be getting better for a long time. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Joel do their thing and I can’t think of a way to censor what Gertner said. Cue Dawn Marie (my goodness) to interrupt so the guys can tell her how beautiful she is. Sex jokes are made but we cut away to breaking news of Steve Corino putting a bounty on Jerry Lynn. Da Baldies would like to collect.

Opening sequence.

Da Baldies vs. Jerry Lynn/???

It’s another mystery partner and this time Lynn has chosen……Tommy Dreamer. Tommy comes out late with Lynn already being beaten down. That happens way too often with Lynn’s partners. We take an early break and come back with the fight in the stands, meaning you can only see pieces of Dreamer beating on Angel. They head back down to ringside with Tommy beating on Angel as the other two have disappeared. Back in and Dreamer misses a charge to go shoulder first into the post. It wouldn’t be an ECW match if Dreamer wasn’t injured.

They’re on the floor all over again with Dreamer being crotched on the barricade. DeVito and Lynn remember they’re in the match and fight on the floor for a bit as Angel beats on Dreamer inside. A double flapjack drops Dreamer and of course it’s table time. Cue Jazz to powerbomb Angel for a save, allowing Dreamer to put him through the table instead. Jerry comes back in with the cradle piledriver for the pin on DeVito.

Rating: D. I’m never a fan of these matches where you can barely see a lot of the action and it’s basically two singles matches at the same time. There’s a basic enough story here though with the thugs vs. the two guys fighting against the Network and it’s nice to have anything other than the same matches over and over. The match was nothing to see of course but you can’t expect that on ECW TV.

Post match the Network runs in for the beatdown. This means we get the third name for Anton’s Sharpshooter (Clap, Clapper, Clap Trap).

CW Anderson says he’s awesome and doesn’t care that Johnny Swinger used to work in WCW.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Tajiri

Justin is defending and I have no idea why this isn’t closing the show. Also wasn’t Tajiri a heel like two weeks ago? I mean, he had a Network badge and all that jazz. Tajiri starts fast with the kicks, including a big one to send Credible into the barricade. Francine has to hide from Tajiri so Justin can get in a few stomps to the back. For the life of me I don’t get the Credible appeal. There’s just nothing there and it shows worse every time he’s in the ring. I’m not sure if it was miscommunication or intentional but Tajiri hits a kick perfectly upside Justin’s head, leaving both guys standing there for a few seconds.

After that awkward pause (and a great looking kick), Justin hits him low to take over again. A swinging DDT gets two for Justin but he eats yet another kick. Tajiri goes after Francine though, meaning he has to reverse the Tombstone into one of his own (while misting Francine at the same time). The handspring elbow completely misses so Tajiri brings in a table. A top rope double stomp through the table gets two on the champ. Tajiri’s tornado DDT gets the same but That’s Incredible retains the title a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. So Justin gets beaten up, hits a few cane shots, kicks out of a bunch of stuff and hits his finisher for the pin. That sounds like money to me. I have no idea what the appeal of someone like Justin is supposed to be but it’s really not clicking no matter what he does out there. Justin feels like a midcard guy who got lost and wound up in the main event but no one can bring themselves to tell him the truth.

House show ads, including talk of a Tag Team Title tournament.

Rob Van Dam vs. Balls Mahoney

Van Dam spins around until Balls fires off those jabs. That just earns him a kick to the floor and a big flip dive so Van Dam can pose. Balls takes him outside and starts using various beverages to hit Van Dam in the face. They head into the crowd where Rob hits a quick Van Daminator and heads back to ringside. I’m so glad they added that part.

Back in and Van Dam kicks some more, including a second Van Daminator. The Five Star looks to finish but Balls small packages Rob for two instead. A super Nutcracker Sweet (sitout tombstone) gets two but Balls makes the mistake of wedging the chair into the corner. The Van Terminator puts Mahoney away.

Rating: C-. I know Balls was a big ECW fan favorite but he’s really just a brawler with a lot of joke names for his offense. Van Dam really should be doing something more than fighting random matches and then feuding with Scotty freaking Anton on pay per view. The match was fine enough, despite there being no doubt who was winning.

Overall Rating: D+. That might even be a bit generous. This was a completely nothing show with almost no story development coming off a pretty lackluster pay per view. The company has almost no momentum at the moment and it’s really showing more every single time they go on the air.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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