Heat Wave 2000
Date: July 16, 2000
Location: Grand Olympic Auditorium, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 5,700
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus

ECW is in trouble at this point and Justin Credible isn’t making things any easier. He’s been champion for three months now and he’s really not that interesting. With Storm out of the way, the match with Dreamer is the next logical step for him as he basically stole the belt from Tommy, but that still doesn’t make him interesting on top of the company, especially with Van Dam sitting there in a meaningless match against Anton. Let’s get to it.

We open with Jasmin St. Claire on the beach in a very small swimsuit with the Blue Boy (formerly the Blue Meanie but now about 100lbs lighter) talking about how fat people are. They run into a guy in good shape who Blue Boy calls fat. A fight nearly breaks out but Jasmin hits him low.

They make out on the beach but we pan over to Sinister Minister. Apparently Blue Boy sold his soul to be thin and have Jasmin. The Minister talks about how we’re in Los Angeles where things happen when it gets hot. He references a lot of WWF pay per views before talking about the main event. We pan over again to see Mikey Whipwreck buried up to his neck in sane. Minister laughs a lot and we go to the arena.

Joel and Joey are in the ring to open things up. The ramp is gone again. Styles is glad to be on the west coast, though it was ECW’s lone appearance here. Joel’s rhyme is especially filthy this time so here’s Cyrus to cut him off. Gertner gets on the apron but comes back inside as Cyrus is asking the people if they know who he is. He brags about deporting Super Crazy (he’ll be back) and taking the TV Title from Tajiri. Cyrus used the ECW on TNN budget to promote Rollerjam (a roller derby show) and stripped Rob Van Dam of the TV Title. Joel cuts him off and says he doesn’t want to be on TNN.

Cyrus says he’s canceled ECW and threatens to turn out Gertner’s lights. He says Joel delivers the fat gay demographic so Gertner makes gay jokes about Cyrus. They argue some more with Joel saying he helps Cyrus but Cyrus counters by saying Joel never paid a due in wrestling. Joey says he has an IQ over 140 and went to an Ivy League college so he doesn’t need to put up with Cyrus. It’s been a pleasure working with Joey, but Joel is done. Cyrus gloats but Gertner sneaks up on him and gets in a few good shots before security drags him away.

Big Sal comes in and beats up some security and referees before his match.

Balls Mahoney vs. Big Sal E. Graziano

Balls has to beat up the newest member of the FBI Tony Mamaluke but gets decked by Sal. Mahoney hammers away and kicks Sal low before nailing him with a chair. Sal won’t go down and chokeslams Balls, followed by a belly to belly suplex for the pin.

Rob Van Dam has something new tonight: the Van Terminator. He’s teased that move for a few weeks now but no one knows what it is.

We see Bobby Eaton (a very talented wrestler from the 1980s who was still better than most of ECW’s roster at this point) appearing at the ECW Arena to go after C.W. Anderson for disrespecting the Anderson Family.

Simon Diamond/Swinger/C.W. Anderon vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring/Kid Kash

Diamond has dropped most of his entourage and is part of a tag team with Swinger (a muscular guy with long hair and that’s about the extent of things that differentiates him from others). Anderson is on his own now as well and recently broke Kash’s four month undefeated streak. The other four guys are decent teams but the Tag Team Titles remain vacant.

Simon and Kash get things going with a technical sequence and the fans already declare it boring. Kash nails a hard chop in the corner before they kick each other away to give us a standoff. Anderson comes in but is quickly taken down and nailed with a middle rope elbow drop. Doring and Roadkill crush Swinger and Diamond in the corner before clearing the ring. Kash nails a slingshot hurricanrana over the top to the floor to take Anderson down.

Back in and Kash hits a springboard clothesline to Anderson before another hurricanrana sends Simon back to the floor. The numbers finally catch up to Kash and Swinger takes over. Anderson comes in but charges into an elbow in the corner, followed by a moonsault press to put him down. It’s off to Doring vs. Swinger with Danny cleaning house with jawbreakers.

Simon comes back with a cobra clutch legsweep to drop Doring before Diamond plants him for two. Anderson blasts him in the jaw with the left hand but Doring slams him face first into the mat. The fans are going NUTS for Roadkill here and they get exactly what they want. Roadkill comes in and cleans house, sending all three villains to the floor for a big dive from Doring.

Kash hits an even bigger one but Roadkill tops them all by taking out all five guys. Back in and Roadkill gets crotched on the top, allowing Simon and Swinger to double team Doring with a backbreaker/reverse DDT combination. The Anderson spinebuster plants Kash for two but Roadkill breaks it up with a legdrop to the back of the head. Kash breaks up the Problem Solver (double team elevated DDT) to Doring, who nails the double arm DDT on Diamond. The Money Maker (double underhook piledriver) gives Kash the pin over Swinger.

Rating: B-. Nice six man tag here but the booking is a little confusing. If Simon and Swinger is supposed to be the new big team, why would you have them lose here? It’s a shame that the tag team division is starting to pick up some steam, just as there are no belts for anyone to win.

Rhino likes putting Sandman’s wife in the hospital and Sandman’s kids watching her.

Jerry Lynn vs. Steve Corino

Corino is still Network and has Victory with him. Lynn chops away in the corner to start and scores with a middle rope bulldog. A clothesline sends Steve to the floor and Lynn’s big dive takes both of them out. Back in and Jerry is sent to the apron but he sends Steve down onto the floor to take over again. A tornado DDT onto the floor has Corino busted open already. Jerry gouges at the cut and hammers away back inside.

Corino gets punched in the corner but he’s still able to come out with an atomic drop. The blond hair is already half covered in blood. Some left hands and the Bionic Elbow put Lynn down for two and a powerslam gets the same. They head back to the floor with Corino making sexual remarks about some fans’ mothers before whipping Lynn into the barricade.

Back in and a t-bone suplex stops Lynn’s offense for two. Victory throws in a chair but Jerry dropkicks it into Corino’s face to put both guys down. Lynn hammers away and the blood is just flowing from Corino’s head. Another chair is brought in and Lynn DDTs Corino off the top rope onto the steel for two. Jerry is all ticked off and rubs Steve’s blood on his own face before writing DIE on his stomach. Corino comes back with a superkick for two but goes up, only to get taken down in an awkward looking attempt at a reverse DDT. It was closer to a Russian legsweep than anything else and gives Jerry a two count.

Corino hits the Old School Expulsion (a reverse Twist of Fate) for two of his own but Victory tries to bring in some powder. The referee gets blinded instead so there’s no one to count. Corino takes his boot off and lays Jerry out again but there’s no referee. Victory hits Lynn in the head with the cowbell for two and Jack is stunned. They trade rollups for two each until Lynn counters a backslide into a cradle piledriver for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a solid brawl but as usual, I don’t get the booking. If you want Corino to look like a big deal, why have him lose? Jerry winning makes sense, but you would think there’s a better opponent for him. I say you would think that, because the roster is so thin at this point that there really isn’t anyone else for him to face. More great blood from Corino though.

We see almost half of Sandman vs. Rhino from Hardcore Heaven. This is more pay per view filler which they really shouldn’t need at this point.

Sandman, with Lori next to him, rants about what Rhino did and making him go see her in the hospital every day. Rhino sneaks in and nails Sandman in the head with a Singapore cane before taking Lori to a toilet to try to drown her. Sandman gets up for the save as security drags them off.

Dawn Marie comes out to do commentary for no apparent reason.

Here’s New Jack with a broken leg, only to get jumped by Da Baldies (Angel and DeVito, the only two left). Nova and Chris Chetti run in for the save and we have a tag match.

Da Baldies vs. Chris Chetti/Nova

Nova is dressed as the Flash now and Chetti has bleach blond hair. Angel gets beaten up to start and Da Baldies are quickly knocked to the floor. Chetti and Nova both hit big dives to take out a Baldie each before Chetti tries to fight them both off on his own. Angel hits a nice jawbreaker to put Chris down but Nova misses a Swanton Bomb. DeVito hits a sitout Rock Bottom but misses a moonsault instead of covering. Nova pops back up and hits rolling piledrivers into a helicopter bomb for two on DeVito, followed by the Amityville Horror and the Tidal Wave gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here with Da Baldies basically getting squashed. Nova and Chetti really need something to do at this point as they’re bored beating all these teams. If only there were some belts for them to win or something like that. They’re barely breaking a sweat with these matches anymore and there’s nothing for them to win. It’s a big waste of a good act.

Tommy Dreamer talks about working at a pizzeria but never making enough money. Then he got into the wrestling business looking for the big payoff. He’s lost money, friends and jobs because of this and he wouldn’t change a thing. Francine and Justin Credible are all that stand in his way of the big payoff tonight and he wants to do things the hard way.

Dreamer nearly has a breakdown in front of the camera, ranting about how tired he is of being on a network that doesn’t respect them and everyone taking away what they created. He bangs his head into a locker and pulls at the cut….as we hear the ring announcer saying this is a three way dance because the production values aren’t very high.

Psicosis vs. Little Guido vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Psicosis is a former ECW and WCW wrestler, making his return after about five years away. During the entrances, Mikey Whipwreck and the Sinister Minister hit the ring and we’re making it a four way.

Psicosis vs. Little Guido vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Mikey, in a suit jacket, plants Psicosis to start and Tajiri kicks him to the floor. Whipwreck nails a quick Whippersnapper on Guido and throws him outside, setting up a huge dive. Tony Mamaluke (the other FBI member) comes in but gets dropped by Mikey. That’s the end of Mikey’s early success though as he dives on Big Sal, only to get rammed into the post. Back inside and Psicosis drops a guillotine legdrop on Mikey for the elimination less than two minutes in. Why in the world was he even added? If nothing else, it’s one more paycheck Heyman had to hand out.

Psicosis kicks Tajiri in the leg but gets armdragged down. A standing hurricanrana drops him as well as Guido is nowhere in sight. Tajiri gets his throat snapped across the top rope before Guido returns to fight Psicosis in the aisle. That’s fine with Tajiri who takes them both out with an Asai Moonsault. A hard kick to the head stuns Guido and a superplex plants him. Psicosis adds a moonsault legdrop for two before walking into the Kiss of Death (Tomikaze). Tajiri kicks Guido in the head and hits a German suplex on Psicosis for the elimination.

We’re down to Tajiri vs. Guido with the latter getting chopped in the corner. Tajiri tries to take him down in a powerbomb style pin but Guido keeps bridging up in a nice series of counters. The Tarantula has some more success for Tajiri and the fans are way behind him. The handspring elbow drops Guido again and it’s chair time.

Tajiri puts him in the Tree of Woe and baseball slides the chair into Guido’s face. Back up and Guido kicks the chair into Tajiri’s face and hits a bad looking middle rope Fameasser to send Tajiri outside. The fans inquire about their pizza before they slug it out in the corner. They chop it out until Tajiri blows the green mist in his eyes and hits a brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. I’m not sure what else you want me to say about it. We’ve seen almost this same match about seven or eight times now and whoever wins is only going to be elevated for a little while before being dropped back down the card in favor of Sandman getting title matches despite giving wrestling a bad name every time he has one of his disasters. The match was decent enough but it’s not going to mean anything.

Justin Credible says tonight, ECW introduces barbed wire to pay per view. It’s going to be hanging above the ring in the Stairway to Hell match. Ignore the fact that there was barbed wire at Barely Legal.

TV Title: Sandman vs. Rhino

Sandman, the challenger, takes another five minutes to get to the ring. They jaw at each other to start until Sandman literally breaks the cane over Rhino’s head. The champion doesn’t go down and nails Sandman with a clothesline to take over. Sandman comes back with left hands and the fight is already on the floor. We get a piece of barricade thrown into the ring and Sandman throws the monster into the steel.

A top rope hurricanrana puts Rhino onto the barricade for two and Sandman follows it up with a powerslam. The barricade is laid on top of Rhino again and a Swanton Bomb gets two. Now Rhino is sent into the barricade in the corner and the steel is bent in half, drawing out the Network to beat up Sandman.

Spike Dudley returns on a broken leg (injured by Rhino) and Corino takes a 3D with Spike playing Bubba. Rhino Gores Spike down and piledrives him off the apron and through a table. Back in and Sandman blasts Rhino in the head with another Singapore cane but Rhino breaks up his Russian legsweep by sending him into the bent barricade. A piledriver on the barricade is enough to retain Rhino’s title.

Rating: D. This was the best match of their series but only because they kept it contained. It’s still barely wrestling and Rhino deserves far better than this, but that’s Sandman dragging down a match for you. He’s far better when he keeps things simple and away from ladders, and that’s why this worked better.

We go back to the commentary booth where we’re reminded Dawn Marie is still there. She hasn’t been heard in nearly an hour. Joey gets in another argument with Cyrus.

Rob Van Dam vs. Scotty Anton

Anton is Network and has a gimmick of clapping over his head. His finishing move: the Clapper (Sharpshooter). Even his song is about giving people the Clap. A quick kick to the face drops Anton and a quick Rolling Thunder gets two. Anton bails to the floor but Rob follows him out and nails a moonsault off the barricade. The spinning kick from the apron drives a chair into Anton’s back before taking him back inside for a delayed gorilla press.

A middle rope moonsault gets two for Rob as this has been one sided so far. Van Dam goes up for a Van Daminator but Anton takes the chair away and pelts it at Rob’s head to take over. Another chair shot has Rob in trouble and Anton bulldogs him off the apron and throat first onto the barricade. Back in and Rob gets tied in the Tree of Woe before he gets planted with a belly to back superplex for two. Scotty takes him down and makes Van Dam do the Clap, only to tick Rob off again.

They head outside again with Anton sending him face first into the barricade. Back to the Tree of Woe but Rob gets his foot free for a very weak kick to send a chair into Scotty’s face. Alfonso’s chair is intercepted but Rob kicks Anton in the face to put both guys down. The chair is skateboarded into Scotty’s face for two and the split legged moonsault gets the same. Alfonso puts the chair onto Anton for Rolling Thunder but Anton gets in a chair shot to the knee.

The Clapper (and a bad one) goes on but Scotty lets go and puts the hold on Alfonso. One of the most telegraphed Van Daminators yet makes the save and there’s the Five Star but Rob doesn’t cover. Instead Scotty crawls into the corner as the fans chant Terminator. Rob climbs the ropes as Alfonso puts a chair in Anton’s face. Van Dam gets a huge springboard and dropkicks the chair into Scotty’s face for the pin. So the big move was basically a springboard Van Daminator.

Rating: D+. This match’s problem can be boiled down to one idea: Scotty Anton is not very good. Back in WCW he never could do anything beyond basic moves and that’s still the case here. It’s nothing special to see and the match was really dull as a result. This was yet another waste of Van Dam, though he’s still the most over guy in the company.

We recap Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer, which is fallout from Cyberslam where Credible took the title from Dreamer twenty minutes after Tommy won it, as well as Hardcore Heaven where Dreamer had to give up his chance to prevent Credible from throwing the belt in the trash.

ECW World Title: Tommy Dreamer vs. Justin Credible

This is Stairway to Hell with barbed wire over the ring and ladders used to climb it, though you win by pinfall. Dreamer brings out Jazz to equalize Francine, but then brings out George, a former valet in WCW where she was known as Gorgeous George. An interesting note from just after the match starts is a group of XPW wrestlers (a local hardcore promotion) sitting at ringside causes a big commotion and allegedly touch Francine, though she would say there was no contact at all. Security and some of the locker room come get rid of them.

After about two minutes of waiting for things to calm down, we’re ready to go. They start with a technical sequence and Joey’s reaction is great: “A wrestling match has broken out!” Justin superkicks Dreamer in the face to take over as we’re just waiting on the weapons to come in. They’re quickly outside with Dreamer hitting Credible with a beer.

Alleged brawling takes place in the crowd but thankfully they stop walking around and get back to ringside. Never mind as they head back into the crowd with Justin already busted open. Dreamer brings out a ladder up near the announcers’ area but gets shoved off the ladder and down near the merchandise stand. Back to ringside with Dreamer getting in a shot to take over and putting the ladder on the corner in the ring. Dreamer gets whipped face first into the end of the ladder as Joey and Cyrus argue again.

Justin replaces the ladder with an open chair on the corner but puts the ladder over the bottom rope. Tommy catapults him hands first into the ladder (the camera shot ruined the spot) and goes up the ladder, onto to have Francine hit him low for the save. Dreamer falls but lands on Francine in a big crash, drawing in Jazz and George.

To the shock of no one with a brain, George turns on Jazz and helps Francine up. Francine misses a Bronco Buster to George and gets beaten up by Jazz, including ripping off her top to reveal tape. Jazz takes That’s Incredible but Dreamer hits the Tommyhawk (a reverse Outsider’s Edge but Dreamer pulls him down into a cutter) for two.

Dreamer climbs the ladder to bring down the barbed wire which he wraps around the top rope. Justin goes up top but gets crotched on the wire, only to be fine five seconds later as he pulls Tommy into That’s Incredible on the wire for two. Tommy hits a DDT onto the wire but Justin hits another That’s Incredible on the barbed wire to retain.

Rating: D. The ending was so obvious that it made the rest of the match feel like a bit waste of time. Justin gets to keep the belt for another few months and this match doesn’t take away any of the criticisms about him. He doesn’t come off as interesting or skilled, but rather a two move guy with a very generic cocky heel character to him. The barbed wire only came into play for the last minute and a half, making the rest of the match just a regular dull ECW brawl that we’ve seen about a dozen times before. Dreamer felt like he was a lame duck challenger coming in and that’s exactly what he came off looking like in the match.

Justin celebrates and Cyrus is thrilled to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This company is very quickly reaching a point where nothing seems to matter. It felt like I’ve seen these same matches on previous shows and this was just a big mixture of whatever ideas they’ve run with before. Rob Van Dam continued to be the most wasted piece of talent you’ll find in this era as he’s having a nearly twenty minute match with career dead weight Scotty Anton while Rhino beats up Sandman for what feels like six months and the midcard guys are still midcard guys because so few people get elevated in this company.

Why should a fan get behind most of the people in this company? Guys like Tajiri and Roadkill get some of the biggest reactions of the night but are stuck in the same three ways or meaningless tag matches (because who needs tag belts right?) for months on end with no way out in sight. It’s so frustrating to watch guys with talent working very hard to get over but getting stuck because the booking isn’t thought out or creative. The show tried, but it’s running around in circles.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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ECW on TNN
Date: July 14, 2000
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

It’s the go home show for Heat Wave and it can’t get here soon enough. I’m not sure what to expect when ECW wants to put on a go home show but they’re on a bit of a roll with advancing stories. Unfortunately there’s only so much advancement you can have here, though a few matches to Sunday’s card might help as I can only think of three matches at the moment. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Joel do their thing and Joel actually gets through his very dirty tennis rhyme. Instead of Cyrus for a change, here’s Raven to interrupt. So the rumors are that Raven is leaving so we hit the PLEASE DON’T GO chants. He thanks the fans and hugs the announcers, only to have Cyrus and Scotty Anton (of course) cut him off.

It’s a full THANK YOU RAVEN chant now but Cyrus says none of that matters to the network. He doesn’t care about Raven’s revolutionary gimmick either because Raven stole it from the Jackyl. Raven asks if this is going anywhere because he wanted to say goodbye and leave. Cyrus says Raven is going to have to bend over for the network, just like Paul Heyman. And now a match!

Raven vs. Scotty Anton

Anton takes a quick Even Flow but Rhino saves Cyrus from the same treatment. Raven gets driven through a table but Sandman (with one heck of a tan) comes in with the cane. Lori Fullington (Sandman’s wife) comes in and jumps on Cyrus’ back until security breaks it up. During the melee, Anton has Raven in the Clapper on the floor.

Rob Van Dam promises to debut the Van Terminator.

We go to the bathroom (of course) where Gary Wolfe says he’s back. Blue Meanie, now skinny and with adult star Jasmine St. Clair, comes out of a stall. Apparently his name is now the Blue Boy and he makes a bunch of fat jokes about Wolfe. Gary doesn’t take kindly to this but gets beaten down anyway. By the former Blue Meanie.

Tajiri vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Circling to start until Tajiri just blasts him with a superkick. Another kick sends Mikey off the apron for a crash into the barricade but Tajiri doesn’t know how to use a ring wrench. Instead Mikey takes over with a slingshot legdrop, only to get kicked in the face again. An inverted tornado DDT sets up an Octopus to make Mikey tap.

Rating: C. They kept this moving but I’m not sure what the point is in squashing Mike, who is doing stuff backstage to set up his new character. Tajiri can beat up anyone else to set up this big heel push but at least it was a good match with Mikey being able to work well with anyone. Tajiri wasn’t really a heel here though and that makes the turn a bit questionable so far.

Francine teases flashing us but it turns into Justin Credible talking about Sunday’s match against Tommy Dreamer.

Here are Simon and Swinger and their wacky band of misfits (great examples of people who could be let go to cut some costs) with something to say. They’re sick and tired of being a comedy act but here’s CW Anderson to get in Simon’s face. Anderson cleans house and even punches the Prodigette in the face. The Problem Solver lays out the Prodigy as the misfits seem to be gone as Anderson has joined Simon and Swinger.

CW issues an open challenge for a tag match, quick is quickly answered by Danny Doring and Roadkill. The numbers game gets the better of them but…..my goodness Bobby Eaton of all people comes out for the real save. Eaton is eventually superkicked down and the new alliance stands tall.

We run down the top of Sunday’s card.

Anderson, Swinger and Simon make jokes about Doring and Roadkill. A six man is announced with Doring and Roadkill plus Kid Kash fighting the trio.

Steve Corino/??? vs. Jerry Lynn/???

Another dream partner tag match with Corino picking Rhino and Lynn picking….well we’ll get to that in a second as Lynn gets Gored before anyone can come out. Jerry reaches over to the towel he brought in and pulls out a beer. Well that’s good for Jerry as he just happened to pick the guy Corino’s mystery partner was feuding with.

Sandman hits the ring and immediately eats a superkick from Corino. Well so much for that one. Everything heads outside with Lynn diving onto Corino despite there being almost no space between the ring and the barricade. Rhino and Sandman fight in the ring as Jerry blasts Corino in the head with a chair. All four get back inside for more brawling as they might as well have just had this be a brawl. I don’t know why they refer to this as a tag match as I don’t remember the last time there were actual tags in an ECW match.

Rhino piledrives Lynn for two, followed by a White Russian legsweep to give Sandman the same. Cyrus comes in to break up the cradle piledriver and Corino elbows Lynn through a table at ringside. This brings in Little Spike Dudley to play Bubba in a 3D to give Sandman the pin on Rhino.

Rating: D. Yeah whatever. I know this is the ECW standard but that doesn’t mean it holds up or is anything that I’d want to see again. The ending does help set up Sunday’s title match and I guess helps with Lynn vs. Corino but there was no better way than having this mess? I’m just not a fan of these things and they really show how horrible Sandman is at “wrestling”.

A long pay per view ad takes us out.

Overall Rating: D+. This was another example of ECW being all over the place with a few matches being added to Sunday’s show. That helps a few things but doesn’t make this the best use of less than forty one minutes I’ve ever seen. Heat Wave really needs to change some things up for the sake of keeping the show fresh, but I have a feeling we won’t exactly be seeing that on Sunday.

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ECW on TNN
Date: July 7, 2000
Location: The Odeum, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

For once ECW actually has built up a big match for this show as Sandman is challenging Justin Credible for the ECW World Title. We’re also nine days away from Heat Wave, meaning it’s almost time to start something fresh, assuming that’s actually done in this promotion anymore. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look at the matches taped for Hardcore TV before this show went on the air.

Gorgeous George (just George here in ECW) is in the ring to start but Francine runs out and blasts her with a cane. See, it’s her house and she’s the Queen of Extreme and all that jazz. Not Jazz but jazz.

Opening sequence.

Joel and Joey are in the ring and IT’S CYRUS COMING OUT TO YELL AT JOEL AGAIN! Cyrus does his thing so Joel brings out Spike Dudley (remember he used to manage the Dudleys) despite Spike’s knee being horrible at the moment. Spike blames Cyrus for deporting Super Crazy, stripping Rob Van Dam of the TV Title (I’m sure Van Dam could have fought on a destroyed leg/ankle) and having Rhino break Spike’s leg. Cue Rhino to prevent Cyrus’ death and here’s Pitbull Gary Wolfe to fight for Spike.

TV Title: Gary Wolfe vs. Rhino

I’m assuming this is a title match but Wolfe spends too much time setting up a table in the corner, allowing Rhino to hit the Gore. A piledriver through the table retains Rhino’s title. I actually like them making this a match instead of just a quick beatdown. It’s not like it hurts anything.

Raven is upset and Styles is shocked that he’s here. He works here Joey.

Recap of Tajiri vs. Jerry Lynn, the latter of whom may or may not be part of the Network.

Tajiri vs. Jerry Lynn

Lynn baseball slides him into the barricade and they’re brawling in a hurry. Back in and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Tajiri down and sends us to a break. We come back with Tajiri grabbing a hammerlock with his leg wrapped around Lynn’s neck. Cue Cyrus dressed as Jerry’s trainer (because reasons) as Lynn comes back with a great looking German suplex.

A tornado DDT gets two on Tajiri and a superplex makes things even worse. As you might expect, Tajiri comes back with a kick (a missile dropkick in this case) but Jerry sends him outside. Jerry claims an elbow injury so Tajiri puts him in an octopus hold. A little mist gets rid of Cyrus but Tajiri puts him in the Tarantula just in case. Cue Steve Corino to kick Lynn in the face, allowing Tajiri to kick him in the face for the pin.

Rating: C+. The ending was pretty badly telegraphed as everyone was so sure that it was going to be Lynn and then DUN DUN DUN, it’s actually Tajiri. I’ve heard worse ideas but they didn’t do the best job of hiding this. At least the match was hard hitting and entertaining though and that’s an improvement.

Justin and Francine are in the back and Credible is drooling over his belt. Sandman won’t take it from him tonight.

We see a clip of Simon and Swinger beating down the new Dangerous Alliance last week on Hardcore TV.

Simon and Swinger vs. Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring

It’s a brawl to start (duh) with Doring and Roadkill taking over on both teams. Nova and Chetti start firing off the kicks to the much bigger Roadkill, only to have to deal with Simon and Swinger. Roadkill hits the always cool double clothesline off the top but here’s CW Anderson (of the Dangerous Alliance) to clean house. A quick Simonizer (reverse DDT) eliminates Nova and we’re down to two teams. Doring and Roadkill clean house until Doring takes WAY too long on the top, allowing Chetti to shove him down. Swinger adds an implant DDT for the pin.

Rating: D+. I like all three of these teams but sweet goodness they were flying through this so fast that nothing had the chance to sink in. All three teams have a lot of potential and it would be nice if they had something to fight over, but for reasons that I’ll never comprehend, Heyman decided that the titles could be vacated on April 22 and new champions wouldn’t be crowned for four months. But at least the matches are good, when they have time that is.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Sandman

Justin is defending and Dawn Marie is referee for reasons of “well, we advertised her so she has to do something.” Oh and she hates Justin to make it even screwier. Dawn and Francine start the catfight but Justin canes Dawn in the head to get rid of her. Sandman starts on the floor and sends Justin into the barricade to avoid the whole wrestling thing.

That’s the perfect time to bring in a wooden pallet for an actually successful whip across the ring. Justin whips him into it for a change and the referee (not Dawn) is bumped. Sandman hits a hurricanrana (not without some pelvic thrusts into Justin’s face of course) and here’s Dusty Rhodes to count the two. Dusty fights off Corino and Victory and leaves, allowing Francine to just unload on Sandman with a cane.

That brings out Gorgeous George for the catfight, followed by Scotty Anton to beat on Sandman. Raven makes the save but gets a cane to the head. Those two fight to the back, leaving Sandman to toss Justin through a table in the corner. Now it’s Rhino coming in to blast Sandman, setting up That’s Incredible to retain Justin’s title.

Rating: C. Oh why not? There’s no indication that Sandman can actually wrestle and I haven’t seen any proof that Credible can do much besides swing a cane and Tombstone people so this is about as much as you can expect. It’s also ECW to a nutshell: violence, chaos and absolutely no wrestling in sight.

We’re still not done as Tommy Dreamer comes out with Jazz for a piledriver on some barbed wire to really bust Credible open to finally end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Some stupid stuff aside, it was so nice to actually get somewhere with any of the big stories, even if it was something that wasn’t much of a surprise. Heat Wave can’t get here soon enough though and the shows are getting just slightly better, though to be fair it wasn’t hard to improve over what they were doing just a few weeks ago.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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ECW on TNN
Date: June 30, 2000
Location: The Rave, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

The stupidly slow march towards Heat Wave continues as we keep waiting for anything new to happen. For a company built on the idea of being all energetic and insane, they certainly do know how to stay stuck in one place and never move out of it like few others I’ve ever seen. Let’s get to it.

Cyrus says the Whole F’ing Show might become the Dead F’ing Show when Rhino gets done with him.

Opening sequence.

The arena is really dimly lit, which suggests a bad house. If the 2,000 is accurate though, that’s hardly bad.

The FBI and Tajiri are in the ring with Joel and Joey for the opening but Jerry Lynn in a referee shirt cuts off Joel’s punchline (it involved hitting the ceiling). Jerry wants them out of the ring because he has this one under control. Last week was a mistake because Tajiri (Lynn: “This son of a b*$&@, but a very nice guy!”) blew mist in his eyes. The regular referee says he’s in charge but Jerry decides there are going to be two referees. That earns the regular referee a piledriver and we’re ready to go.

Tajiri vs. Little Guido

Tajiri is smart enough to give Tony Mamaluke a brainbuster before we’re ready to go. They speed things up very quickly for a few near falls each until Tajiri knees him in the head. Guido takes him down into a Fujiwara Armbar followed by some chops in the corner, only to have Tajiri grab his own Fujiwara Armbar for a nice touch. They head outside with Tajiri blasting him in the head with a kick, followed by the required chair shot.

Back in with Guido barely able to stand as Joey talks about a Nitro star defecting tonight. A bite to the head cuts Guido open and it’s time to kick at the cut. Back from a break with a table in the ring and Guido getting kicked even more. The Kiss of Death (Killswitch) gets two on Tajiri, who comes right back by kicking Lynn low. Cue Big Sal for a 600lb slam to crush Tajiri, giving Guido the pin.

Rating: C+. I like both of these guys and they were allowed to just wrestle for the most part, making this a much better match than most of what you get around here. The ending was your standard “well we don’t quite know yet” fare but you have to expect that. I mean, it’s only been like a month and a half of the same thing. That’s just getting warmed up in ECW.

Joey isn’t sure if Lynn saw anything because OF COURSE we don’t know anything for sure.

Van Dam wants his TV Title back tonight.

Mikey Whipwreck is freaking out over something to Sinister Minister. You can barely hear anything they’re talking about because of music playing in the background. Mikey says this is worth $1000 for two minutes but Minister isn’t convinced. They open the door and it’s WCW’s Gorgeous George dancing. Minister’s mind changes in a hurry. Mikey looks at the camera and says OH YEAH while doing the Randy Savage finger waves. Minister looks in again and I can’t say I blame him.

RVD is ready.

TNN actually airs a commercial for ECW. It’s for a show that aired earlier in the month but it’s a commercial nonetheless.

Francine vs. Jazz

Before the match, Francine says no way but here’s Jazz to cut her off. Jazz makes some threats but gets jumped by Justin Credible. Cue Tommy Dreamer for the save and let’s have a mixed tag.

Francine/Justin Credible vs. Jazz/Tommy Dreamer

Jazz headscissors Justin to start but he low blows Dreamer as things settle down. An enziguri puts Justin on the floor and the guys fight into the crowd. Justin actually gets the better of it and takes over inside as Joel makes sex jokes about Dreamer and Francine. Francine even gets in a few shots on Dreamer’s leg, only to have him claw her between the legs. A chair to the back puts Justin down and that means it’s time for a table.

Naturally Dreamer goes face first into said table (he brought it in after all) and everything breaks down with the heels being put in stereo Trees of Woe. That means double delayed dropkicks into chairs into their faces before the Tommyhawk (reverse Razor’s Edge into a cutter for a really cool looking move) gives Dreamer the pin on the champ.

Rating: D. Well that exists. I have no idea why Jazz vs. Francine is a thing but at least this helps set up Dreamer as a more credible (gah) challenger at the pay per view. I mean that’s a ladder match with barbed wire above the ring but at least it’s better than watching them try to have a regular match.

Jazz brings out barbed wire but the Network comes out to take care of Dreamer with Jack Victory kidnapping Jazz, leaving the rest to beat on Dreamer. Justin tombstones him on the barbed wire to make the blood flow even harder. Oh and Francine gets to pin Dreamer, making sure that he loses any heat he might have earned from the pin.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Rhino

Rhino is defending and they hammer on each other in the corner to start with Van Dam getting the better of it. A springboard kick to the face has Rhino in trouble but Rob poses instead of following up. Rhino gorilla presses him to take over but gets caught in a hurricanrana. The Gore hits way too early and Rob is up at two. You don’t often see finishers treated like middle of the road moves like that. We hit the chinlock for a bit followed by a spinebuster for two.

Rhino’s middle rope headbutt gets two more but gets caught by a stepover kick to the face. More kicks to the head have Rhino in trouble and there’s the Rolling Thunder onto a chair onto Rhino. Van Dam loads up the Five Star but here’s Scotty Anton to shove him off the top and that’s a DQ, which I didn’t even know existed in ECW.

Rating: C-. I know it didn’t have a finish and it was just an eight minute match, but these two should have been the main event of Heat Wave, not Rhino vs. Sandman (been done to death already) and Van Dam vs. Anton (kill me now). The match was fine enough and both guys looked good but this really shouldn’t have happened on TV when ECW is dying for money, which could have been brought in by a well publicized match between these two.

Van Dam has to fight off the entire Network but Credible gets in a Singapore cane shot to put him down. Sandman FINALLY comes out (after the fans chant for him for a good while) and beats Justin up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. See, now this one I can get behind. For one thing, this show was all about the wrestling with three matches, all of which actually played a role in a story. More importantly than that though, the main event is building towards a big match next week as Sandman challenges Credible for the title. It doesn’t have to be some grand production. Just have the wrestling actually build somewhere and I’m much happier.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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ECW on TNN
Date: June 23, 2000
Location: O’Neill Center, Danbury, Connecticut
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

We’re running out of time before Heat Wave and maybe they could actually bother to start setting things up this week. Or maybe even advancing some stories for a change. Instead, I’d assume we’ll be getting more Network vs. ECW because that’s the only story they know how to tell anymore. By tell I mean repeat over and over. Let’s get to it.

Rob Van Dam and Fonzie are excited about heading to Los Angeles for Heat Wave.

Earlier tonight, New Jack climbed a ladder to get into the rafters and dove onto someone not important enough to name and drive him through a table. Ah apparently it was Chris Hamrick, which I had to find online. Thanks for taking that big of a bump Chris.

New Jack is ready to go to LA as well because he wants to show us his hometown. He can’t wait to get violent in his old stomping grounds.

Opening sequence.

Cyrus is in the arena to yell at Joey because there isn’t going to be ECW on TNN tonight. See, there can’t be a show because there’s no color commentator because Joel is still in the hospital. Joey isn’t going to get to put himself over tonight and has ten seconds to produce a commentator or there’s no show.

Cue Gertner to chase off Cyrus again but Cyrus runs into Francine. After complimenting her cleavage, he thinks it’s time for her to take care of him by beating Gertner up in exchange for saving Justin Credible’s title last week. Francine gets inside and rips Joey for being a Catholic (seriously) and having his wife in the crowd.

It’s Joel’s turn now but he brings out Tommy Dreamer to do his fighting for him. The announcers bail and Francine starts begging off because Justin isn’t here tonight. Sexual favors are offered if he’ll break his silence since Cyberslam. Nothing is said so Francine slaps him in the jaw, only to have Jazz come in and lay her out. That’s your first third of the show by the way.

Tony Mamaluke vs. Chilly Willy

Williy gets caught in an early tornado DDT for two but comes back with a falcon’s arrow for the pin in just over a minute.

Guido comes in and lays Chilly out before trying to break the referee’s arm. This brings out Balls Mahoney for the big save but he can’t drop Big Sal. A middle rope headbutt crushes Balls’ ribs so here Mikey Whipwreck with a FLAMING 2×4 for the real save. That thing was lit up too.

Simon and Swinger are in their locker room when the Prodigy and the Prodigette come in to waste time. Cue the Musketeer for more comedy, only to have the Dangerous Alliance come in for the big showdown. Much like everything else tonight, this goes nowhere.

Scotty Anton turns the lights on and off with the Clap. They’re ready to take care of Van Dam on Los Angeles and that’s about it.

Steve Corino vs. Tajiri

Corino has Jack Victory in his corner and this is a rematch from Hardcore Heaven. We’re still not ready to go though as Cyrus comes out AGAIN and tells the referee to cheat for Corino. The referee says no so Cyrus lays him out and brings out Jerry Lynn as guest referee. Cyrus to Corino: “It’s just like Montreal. It’s in the bag.” Feeling out process to start with Corino claiming a pull of the trunks.

With nothing going on, Joel previews what’s coming up next in a parody of last week’s ending as the video goes into the corner. Instead of Arena Football though, we get EXTREME TEST PATTERNS! Joel: “Will cyan clash with magenta??? TUNE IN TONIGHT!” Funny stuff, as is often the case with Gertner. Tajiri hits a neckbreaker for the first real offense and a neckbreaker. A spinwheel kick puts Corino on the floor and the handspring (not the elbow) sends a chair into Steve’s face to draw some blood.

Corino bled like almost no one I’ve ever seen back then so it’s no minor cut. A knee to the head makes the blood even worse and Tajiri baseball slides a chair into Steve’s head. Tajiri is nice enough to wipe some blood away but gets suplexed through a table. Is that a traditional Japanese thank you? Corino drops a Bionic Elbow for two and the Network is livid. It’s made even worse as Tajiri grabs Steve’s crotch and mists Jerry by mistake. Corino gives up to the Octopus Hold but the blind Lynn hits Tajiri by mistake, giving Corino the pin.

Rating: B-. Again that’s on the ECW scale because their matches just aren’t that good most of the time. The Jerry Lynn stuff is even more of the same nonsense but you have to expect that at this point. Corino could bleed like few others for a cool visual but the story is in the same place it was in a month ago and that’s not good at all.

Joey wraps it up by hyping a Chicago house show the next night of the fifth or so time on this show. Oh and Rhino defends the TV Title again Rob Van on free TV just because.

Overall Rating: D-. The main event helped a lot but this was a hue waste of a week. We had a bunch of talking that we’ve seen before, a match we’ve seen before and a one minute match that set up Mikey playing with fire. With less than a month to go before the pay per view, they really should be going somewhere instead of doing the same stuff they were doing back in May. This show is flatlining in a hurry and REALLY needs to change before it gets even worse.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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ECW on TNN
Date: June 16, 2000
Location: Lawrence Convention Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

We’re a month away from Heat Wave and a few matches have already been announced. That being said, it would be nice if we actually had something other than “ECW vs. Network brawl to end the show.” It doesn’t have to be anything great but they need to mix things up a little bit as things are really getting repetitive around here. Let’s get to it.

Sandman has been attacked and put in an ambulance.

Opening sequence.

Joey and Joel are cut off by Cyrus before Joel can get to his punchline about food. Cyrus wants to talk to Gertner but it takes a bit to get past the ECW/GERTNER chants. The problem is Gertner’s looks are killing the ratings so it’s time to get rid of him. Joel is tired of dealing with Cyrus using him to get over so it’s time to fight. Cyrus says there used to be a kid in his school that reminds him of Joel. Cyrus: “Do you know what I used to do to him?” Joel: “You used to suck his *#&$!” That earns Joel a slap to the face so he goes on a rant about how no one is here to see Cyrus so get to the point already.

The threat of being fired makes Joel apologize, but he means sorry that he has to take a blood test because Cyrus spat in his eye. Joel is ready to fight but Rhino runs in and Gores him. The usual suspects come in for the big brawl. We get the Van Dam vs. Anton showdown and you can hear people canceling their pay per view buys from here. This ate up the first fifteen minutes of the show after closing last week’s show. Well done.

Justin Credible gets in an argument with Rhino but Cyrus breaks things up.

Cyrus tells the medics that Gertner has an object lodged in his anus.

EZ Money vs. Kid Kash

Joined in progress as they speed things up early on. A headscissors from Kash gives us a stalemate but Money’s (who has bills hanging from his trunks) partner Chris Hamrick offers a distraction. Kash sends Money outside for a big flip dive and we take a break. Back (Joey: “On the Deliverance Channel.”) with Money hitting a modified piledriver, allowing Hamrick to add a guillotine legdrop. Kash’s moonsault press is countered into something like a reverse Razor’s Edge. A pinfall reversal sequence goes nowhere (likely because the pinfalls were reversed) and Kash hits a quick Moneymaker for the pin.

Rating: C. More cruiserweight style stuff here with Kash exchanging hurricanranas for actual wrestling or high flying skills. A win in a glorified handicap match makes Kash look good and that’s the best thing they can do when they’re trying to build up a new star. Not a good match or anything but it accomplished a goal, which is all it needed to do.

Kash gets beaten down until New Jack makes the save and does his usual insane stuff. He even hits Hamrick with an NES and uses a staple gun on Money for some blood. This goes on for a long time as we’re over halfway through the show. I get that the fans love New Jack and everything, but we’re half an hour in and we’ve seen an announcer get beaten down, a brawl we’ve seen over and over and an average match followed by a New Jack beatdown. If that’s the best they can do, maybe the show should be canceled.

Sinister Minister and his congregation (including Mikey Whipwreck, Balls Mahoney and a bunch of plants) rail against censorship. The Prodigette plays Monica Lewinsky underneath the podium and everyone starts laughing.

Credible and Rhino argue again with the same conclusion.

The Network wishes Jerry Lynn luck but he brushes them off. Joey, being an announcer, thinks this means a lot more than it seems. To be fair he’s probably right.

ECW World Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible

Justin is defending. They chop it out to start with Justin getting the better of it but being sent outside for a whip into the barricade. The fight heads into the crowd and thankfully there’s a camera to see them fighting in an open space. I can’t stand it when the brawl is really just their heads moving through the crowd. Lynn wins a slugout over the bloody champion and drives his knuckles into the cut.

They get back in with Francine passing in a chair for a delayed dropkick in the corner. A jumping knee to the head (he did used to be part of the Kliq) and we hit the chinlock. The fans want tables because New Jack and these two brawling in the crowd isn’t enough violence. Jerry fights up and they chop it out with Lynn getting the better of it this time and sending Justin outside for a big dive. A super hurricanrana through a table satiates the fans’ blood lust for a bit. The possibly ruined knees can be forgiven of course.

That’s only good for two on the champ though so Lynn sets up another table in the corner. Francine throws in a chair but the DDT only gets two. The fans yell about wanting the table but have to settle for Jazz throwing Francine inside. Jazz’s X-Factor gets two on Justin and here’s the Network to make this even messier. That’s Incredible gets two on Jerry as the Network takes Francine to the back.

The referee gets bumped (LIKE IT MATTERS) so there’s no count off the cradle piledriver. Rhino comes in and Gores Lynn through the table though it’s not clear who it was meant for. Either way it’s enough for…..I think a pin as the video is sent into the corner while an Arena Football on TNN ad covers up most of the screen. Seriously.

Rating: D+. I know it’s the ECW style but these way over the top matches full of interference and weapons are getting ridiculous. Even worse though, we STILL haven’t advanced anything as it’s still not clear if Lynn is Network or not. I’ve seen worse matches but they should be able to go more than a minute straight without some kind of shenanigans.

Overall Rating: D. For DO SOMETHING ALREADY! Heat Wave is getting closer and ECW clearly has no idea hot to actually build to a pay per view. I’m barely even sure what matches are taking place on the show as ECW has done almost nothing to promote it so far. Instead it’s all about fighting TNN and Heyman airing his grievances on TV every single week. The show wasn’t the worst but my patience is wearing thin with this promotion.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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ECW on TNN
Date: June 9, 2000
Location: Alario Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

Maybe a trip down to New Orleans can speed things up a bit. As was the case coming into last week, the stories are interesting but they almost never go anywhere. Jerry Lynn as the wildcard in the big stable war has potential though, especially if he gets to be the one that goes after Rhino or Credible next. Scotty Anton continues to be death though and I think everyone knows it. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Joey and Joel do their entrance (the rhyme is about something going in a woman’s eye) and bring out hometown girl Jazz for a chat. She starts talking about how awesome she is until Justin Credible jumps her from behind with the Singapore cane. Justin has to drag Francine off of Jazz before saying he’s doing this because of Tommy Dreamer. If Tommy wants it to stop, come out here and fight. Cue Dreamer but everything is broken up.

Cyrus gives Scotty Anton a match with Raven, suggesting that he give Raven the Clap.

Paul Heyman has been banned from the show but he’s talking on ECW’s website.

Raven wants Anton to know that the world is filled with kings and queens.

Joey and Joel mock TNN’s response to the comments last week.

Scotty Anton vs. Raven

Before the match (and thankfully after a commercial), Cyrus offers Raven a spot in the Network because he used to be a ratings draw. Raven wants to know if he’s going to get some promo time. That’s not possible so Cyrus says he’s going to shake Anton’s hand and then Evenflow him. The match is on fast with Raven pounding away in the corner (Joey: “And the fans counting the viewers in Rollerjam after this show!”).

They head outside with Raven hitting him in the face but missing a middle rope elbow through a table. Back in and Anton slowly stomps away because he’s not talented enough to do anything more interesting. Anton works on the leg which he wraps around the post a few times. At least there’s an idea here. Raven comes back with a few shots to the face and a running knee lift, followed by the drop toehold into the chair. Anton gets out of a backslide though and puts on the Clapper for the surprise tap out.

Rating: C. This was actually better than I was expecting with Anton keeping things simple enough and letting Raven walk him through the match. There’s actually an interesting story with the Network deciding that someone who used to work in WCW had star power but there’s just NOTHING to back it up in the ring.

Da Baldies grew up on the streets and now they want to beat up New Jack. Again.

We get a WAY too long video on Justin Credible/Francine, as in over four minutes straight. I still do not get the appeal here.

The main event is a mystery partner tag match with Justin Credible and Tommy Dreamer both getting to pick a surprise partner. Cyrus comes out to offer Rhino’s services to Justin, who may be an annoying character but he’s not stupid. Dreamer has someone of his own though and this really shouldn’t be all that surprising.

Justin Credible/Rhino vs. Tommy Dreamer/Sandman

The brawl starts on the floor (duh) and it’s actually Rhino vs. Dreamer in the ring as I can’t imagine we see an actual tag match. A neckbreaker puts Rhino down and we’ve already got a ladder. Dreamer and Rhino fight into the crowd, leaving Sandman to be whipped into the ladder. Justin gets the same treatment as the other two come down the steps to get back inside.

A bulldog sends Justin into the ladder and all four are inside for the first time. Sandman drops Rhino with a super hurricanrana but here’s Steve Corino to break up a superplex on Justin. Tajiri comes out for the save, allowing Sandman to suplex Justin onto the ladder. Now it’s Anton to make it 4-3 as we’re waiting on Van Dam. That seems to happen a lot around here. Van Dam comes out a few seconds later and takes out Rhino with a really awkward looking Van Daminator with Rob bending down in front of him for a few seconds until someone throws Rhino a chair. A Five Star Frog Splash lets Sandman pin Rhino.

Rating: D+. Standard wild brawl here with the same people fighting to end the show that always end the show. That’s still the problem around here: it’s always “wait until next week” but next week is always more of the same. They need to actually get somewhere and hopefully that doesn’t mean waiting all the way until Heat Wave.

The Network beats the good guys down with a HORRIBLE Clapper on Van Dam ending the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Here’s the problem with the main event booking: all this happens every single week and it’s clear that Van Dam is gearing up for a huge match at Heat Wave. Who did he wind up getting? Scotty Anton. ECW is fighting for its life and their biggest star is facing Scotty Anton on a pay per view.

I get the idea of building something up but the title matches of Sandman vs. Rhino and Dreamer vs. Credible had been done before. At this point, they might as well have just put the World Title on Van Dam and built to their big title vs. title match. Wasting Van Dam on Anton was just another bad booking choice though and it’s caught up with ECW.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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ECW on TNN
Date: May 26, 2000
Location: Gwinnett Civic Center, Duluth, Georgia
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

So I got a big start on this series and had twenty episodes to go when I took a bit of a break. That was nearly two years ago so I figured I might as well get back to it and knock the rest of this series out now that it’s on the Network. We’re past Hardcore Heaven and Justin Credible is ECW World Champion. TV Champion Rhino has issued an open challenge for his TV Title for some point in the future. Let’s get to it.

We open with a black and white video on Sandman being destroyed by Rhino. Sandman’s wife was piledriven through a table as a bonus.

Opening sequence.

Joel and Joey do their thing and rip on TNN because that’s how you stay on a network.

Interviewer Steven Prazak goes in to find out if Justin Credible has a concussion problem. Francine and Justin yell at him before throwing Prazak out.

Simon Diamond rants into a mirror about being a comedy act after a year in this company. The Musketeer (exactly what he sounds like) comes out of a bathroom stall to offer his services as a tag partner. That goes nowhere so here’s Johnny Swinger, from Atlanta, with the same offer. Simon is impressed and decides his problem is solved.

Masato Tanaka vs. Balls Mahoney

Tanaka starts in on the arm and they do an awkward looking wrestling sequence to the mat. Yet again we hear about Balls being banned from amateur wrestling in New Jersey for punching out a referee as he takes over with some jabs. That just earns him an armbar as Joel goes on a semi-racist rant about how he can’t date Japanese girls because he’s always hungry again twenty minutes later.

They head outside where Tanaka is whipped into the barricade as Joel wonders how parents in Nutley, New Jersey could name their son BALLS. A chair shot to the back doesn’t have much effect on Tanaka so they head inside for a powerslam on Mahoney. A Ball Breaker (sitout spinebuster) gets two on Tanaka with a frog splash connecting for the same. It’s time to duel with the chairs (a signature spot for them) and Tanaka no sells some shots to the head.

A big shot finally puts him down for two and now it’s Balls’ turn to no sell for a bit. Those shots are terrifying now as they’re just straight chairs to the head with no protection. A tornado DDT onto the chairs is countered into the Nutcracker Sweet (something like a sitout over the shoulder tombstone) for two on Tanaka.

Diamond Dust (a middle rope flipping Stunner) gets two on Balls but he kicks a chair into Masato’s face. It’s table time (because of course) but Balls also has a black bag full of tacks. Ever the scientist, Tanaka reverses a superplex into a tornado DDT through the table, driving himself into the tacks in the process, though it’s enough to put Mahoney away.

Rating: C. This one depends on your taste but it was a hard hitting ECW brawl. Those chair shots are too much for me anymore though. They were fun when we didn’t realize how bad they were but now……yeah they’re hard to sit through. Tanaka is one of the hardest hitting guys you’ll ever see so he was perfect for Mahoney, though that ending is a bit hard to take. Balls can survive several hard chair shots to the head but a tornado DDT through a table knocks him out?

The Sinister Minister is talking about Mikey Whipwreck when Big Sal attacks him. A now crazy Mikey makes the save with a fireball.

Tommy Dreamer beats up Prazak for asking about losing the World Title. Prazak: “BUT YOU’RE A BABYFACE!”

Tajiri vs. Scotty Anton

Former Network vs. Network. That means here’s Cyrus with the rest of his evil Network stable to say Mr. Nielsen is popping off because of Anton’s clap gimmick. The fans want RVD out here to kill Anton (who screwed him at Hardcore Heaven). Joey: “Even for TNN this is disgraceful!” Anton makes sure we know that he’s Scotty and he wants us all to have The Clap. This keeps going WAY too long as we’re waiting on wrestling anytime now. Actually Cyrus says Scotty is off tonight because it’s all about the ratings. Joey: “Then why is Rollerjam still on the air?” Hey I liked that show. Cyrus has a replacement.

Tajiri vs. Jerry Lynn

This could be good. Feeling out process to start with Tajiri dropkicking Lynn out of the air. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker drops Tajiri and the Network shouts encouragement to Jerry, though he doesn’t seem that receptive. Lynn’s tornado DDT (too common a move around here) is countered with something like a suplex into the corner but Lynn is right back up with a springboard dropkick ala Chris Jericho.

Back in and a hard kick to the head drops Jerry again as Joel goes on an anti-TNN rant, nearly verbatim to one Heyman made around the same time. A powerbomb gets two on Tajiri as this is just a collection of spots so far. Lynn is tired of wrestling and just stomps away before grabbing a chair. Jack Victory trips Tajiri though and the cradle piledriver gives Jerry the pin (it wasn’t clear if he saw the interference).

Rating: C+. Better than you would normally get around this time from ECW with a lot more wrestling and a lot less violence. That’s a smart way to book the show as the opener was violent and this one was more wrestling based. Balancing the show out like that is almost always better than going full on with one style.

Post match Tajiri gets beaten down until RVD makes the save. The weird thing here is the Network has Walk by Pantera edited out but the fans are still seen chanting along. Van Dam is beaten down but Tajiri makes the save with some mist.

Video on Dawn Marie. Nothing special here as it’s really just a reminder that she’s hot.

Prazak asks Raven about Credible’s concussion but Raven is depressed about Francine turning on him. Francine comes in and yells at him (with the camera staying on her upskirt shot the whole time) until Credible lays Raven out. Dreamer’s save attempt fails to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade as nothing major happened but they’re advancing the story at a slow pace, which makes sense given that they have almost two months until the next pay per view. The wrestling was acceptable (again by ECW standards) but this Network feud really isn’t all that interesting. It’s an interesting take on the corporate villains but we get the concept already and they’re not making it any easier by saying the same things over and over.

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ECW on TNN
Date: June 2, 2000
Location: Seagate Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

Things are still moving at a slow pace as we have Tommy Dreamer and Raven in their weird alliance against Justin Credible and Sandman wanting revenge on Rhino over attacking his wife. That’s in addition to ECW vs. the Network in the top (I think?) feud. That sounds like enough to have them overflowing with content but somehow it’s a very slow process. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Joel are in the ring to start and Raven is sitting in the corner. After some TNN insults, Joel doesn’t have a dirty rhyme tonight. Joey tells him to make something up, likely because the fans sounded like they were about to riot. He makes one up on the spot that ends with saying how tight the women in Toledo are. You can fill in the details yourself.

Off to Raven, who is sick of Justin Credible stealing everything from him. The other day Justin called him and quoted Keep on Rocking in the Free World, which was enough to make Raven realize Justin could never be him. Cue Justin and Francine, both of whom Raven calls a rather mean name.

The fight is on with Raven getting the better of it until a Francine distraction lets Justin swing the Singapore cane. Tommy Dreamer makes a better save attempt this week as Justin bails, leaving Scotty Anton to sneak in and beat on Raven. The referee of all people yells at Cyrus, only to get beaten down by Anton. Scotty puts the referee in a Sharpshooter and it’s time for THE CLAP!

Opening sequence.

Guido is working out when Tony Mamaluke (from ECW’s Mamalukes’ mini stable) makes his debut. That makes Guido mad because Tony is a fake Italian so he has an idea.

Kid Kash vs. Grimes

The much smaller Kash starts with a headscissors but gets run over by a standing splash. Grimes goes with the power by loading up a reverse Razor’s Edge but flipping forward into something like a sitout powerslam. Cool move actually. Back up and Kash tries to climb onto Grimes’ shoulders for a faceplant but it’s more like a slap to the back of his head.

Another headscissors has Grimes in trouble and Kash knocks him outside for a big running springboard flip dive. Back in and Kash dives into a cutter, followed by a Vader Bomb into a low blow. Kash’s hurricanrana is countered into a flapjack, only to have him grab a rolling victory roll for the pin on Grimes and a big upset.

Rating: D+. Kash is a bunch of spots and little more as he rarely did anything aside from headscissors and hurricanranas. The victory roll ending made sense as it’s not like he can hit a piledriver on someone the size of Grimes. If nothing else it was nice to see Grimes doing something other than fighting New Jack again and again.

We get the same somber Sandman vs. Rhino video from last week.

Johnny Swinger is posing in front of a fan. Swinger: “See? My biggest fan is blowing me.” The Musketeer comes in and tries to fight the fan due to reasons of bad comedy. Prodigy and the Prodigette get doused in Swinger’s oil.

Tony Mamaluke vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Tony tries to take him to the mat early on but gets launched into the air for a faceplant. Guido offers a distraction so Tony can take it outside, only to try a moonsault and LAND ON THE BACK OF HIS NECK ON THE BARRICADE. That’s one of the scariest bumps I’ve ever seen but Mikey takes him back inside for a spinning Pedigree for the fast pin.

Mikey gives an attacking Guido the Whippersnapper post match. Big Sal comes in before fire can be used but gets powder in his eyes. The blind Sal lays out Marinara with a side slam and gorilla press toss into the crowd.

Post break Sinister Minister calls Big Sal a glutton for punishment. Every time he comes near Mikey, Sal is set on fire. If there’s one thing Minister won’t accept, it’s stupidity. Therefore, the next time Sal comes near him, Sal will learn the meaning of spontaneous combustion. Mikey says no way so Minister calls him a liar and lights his pants on fire. Minister laughs as Mikey cries about it burning his flesh.

We get a big rant from Paul Heyman about how TNN is killing them because they don’t want ECW around. Then they’re going to bring in the WWF and give Vince McMahon $100 million. Heyman says this is a shoot as he goes on about how much he hates this network for everything they’ve done wrong. He begs TNN to throw them off the air and tells them to spend that money on attorneys because the war has just begun. Last week Gertner said a lot of the same things on commentary. This was muted on the live broadcast but the Network has the full thing.

Dawn Marie video.

Joel suggests that the TNN executives smuggle young farm animals across state lines for sexual gratification. Heyman, off screen: “ARE YOU READY TO THROW US OFF THE AIR PIG F*$&%*#?” Again, this was muted live as you might expect.

TV Title: Rhino vs. Sandman

Rhino is defending and has Steve Corino in his corner. During Sandman’s three minute entrance, Gertner suggests that Sandman wants to beat Rhino for making Sandman’s wife all whiny because she’s been in the hospital so much lately. Cue Dusty Rhodes to cancel Corino out by bullroping himself to Steve. Rhino pounds Sandman down fast but gets knocked to the floor to start the brawl.

Sandman throws in a table and loads it up in the corner before taking Rhino down with a hurricanrana. A piledriver onto the folded table gets no cover as Sandman has to take care of Corino (freed with some help from Jack Victory). Everyone comes in and I’m going to assume the match was thrown out somewhere in there. Not enough to rate but what were you expecting?

Tajiri runs out for the save and gets beaten down by an invading Scotty Anton. Van Dam comes in for the real save as Jerry Lynn watches to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Interesting story/brawl, midcard match, midcard match, pants on fire, big wild brawl to end the show. Like I said earlier, it’s taking WAY too long to get anywhere with their big stories and it’s getting annoying trying. The real war with Heyman vs. the network is more interesting but at the same time it’s really hard to care when the wrestling is so all over the place and the stories move so slowly. It’s still entertaining enough but they need to do something before they’re thrown off the air.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Survivor Series 2001
Date: November 18, 2001
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 10,142
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

While there’s a full card to go with the Survivor Series match, none of it matters compared to the main event. Some of the WCW and WWF Titles will be unified as well, which was a major problem at the time. There were so many belts floating around at the time that it didn’t matter when one would change hands. Thankfully a lot of those problems will be wrapped up tonight. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a cool concept as it shows all of the old logos for the WWF over the years and a bunch of great moments in company history, set to a song called The End Is Here.

European Title: Christian vs. Al Snow

Christian is in the Alliance and defending. He greets his fans in South Carolina (that’s what he said) and calls himself awesome. Snow comes out to the Tough Enough (reality competition series where Snow was head trainer) theme which was quite a catchy tune. Snow takes him down to the mat to frustrates the champ. Christian comes back with a foot on Snow’s face in the corner followed by a Russian legsweep for two. We hit the chinlock as the match slows down.

Al fights up and hits his headbutts but Christian hits a tiger driver backbreaker for two. Snow gets rammed into the buckle and things slow down again. The trapping headbutts stop Christian again and Snow escapes the reverse DDT into a neckbreaker for two. Heyman schills for the Alliance guys in an always funny bit.

A sitout powerbomb gets two for Snow and now Christian’s reverse DDT scores for no cover. Instead Christian talks a lot of trash and gets rolled up for two. A top rope cross body is rolled through by Snow and the Snow Plow gets two. There’s the Unprettier out of nowhere to keep the title in the Alliance. That was quick.

Rating: C-. This is one of those shows where anything but the main event means nothing, which makes the first hour and a half of the show pretty uninteresting to sit through. That’s exactly the case here. This match was fine but it could have been on Smackdown on any given week. Snow and Christian are both good hands so a good match is really nothing too shocking.

Austin arrives and yells at the Alliance because he doesn’t like being accused of being a traitor to his team. This would be a lot better if Stephanie had more acting ability than say, a carrot. Austin yells at everyone on the team and says stop being paranoid.

Vince and Linda arrive with Vince brimming with confidence. Cole comes up and says this might be their last night in business but Vince doesn’t want to hear talk like that. Vince talks about taking calculated risks and being confident because someone is jumping to the WWF. Regal comes up and says he doesn’t buy the idea that Austin is jumping back to the WWF.

William Regal vs. Tajiri

These two are former friends. Regal hurt Tajiri’s (Japanese wrestler with a lot of fast kicks) girlfriend Torrie (not the same person with the same name but different spelling from years ago) on Smackdown to set this up. Tajiri is Cruiserweight Champion and was supposed to face X-Pac in a title for title match, but according to Commissioner Mick Foley, “No one cared about X-Pac or the Light Heavyweight Title anyway”. Tajiri fires off a kick but gets suplexed right back down.

The knee trembler takes Tajiri down but Tajiri goes after Regal’s knee with the kicks. There’s the Tarantula and Regal is bleeding from the nose. A handspring elbow gets two for Tajiri but Regal ties his head up in the ropes to stop the momentum dead. Regal tries a powerbomb but gets countered by another kick to the head. The Buzzsaw Kick misses and there’s the Tiger Bomb from Regal for the pin. Too short to rate but it was fine.

Regal powerbombs him again post match. Torrie (looking GREAT in a purple top and leather pants) comes out to check on Tajiri, only to get powerbombed as well.

We recap Edge vs. Test. These two are both midcard champions after the seemingly dozens of never ending midcard title changes going on at this point. Edge is US Champion, Test is Intercontinental Champion, tonight only one belt survives.

Test complains about the makeup lady not rubbing in the oil well enough on him. Stacy (his future girlfriend) comes up and agrees with Test. Test hits on her and she’ll think about it if he wins.

Edge compares himself to Test and says that there are a lot of similarities between them. The difference is that Edge hasn’t been dumped by every chick on the planet. Edge makes fun of Test for sounding wooden and that’s about it.

Intercontinental Title/US Title: Edge vs. Test

They fight over control to start with Edge taking over via a series of forearms to the head. Test powers him down and goes after the ribs with a wide ranging selection of stomps. We head to the floor with Edge being dropped across the barricade to further the attack on the ribs. Back in and Edge hits a dropkick to take over before we head outside again. They’re quickly back inside and a swinging neckbreaker gets two for Edge.

Test drops Edge onto the top rope ribs first to reinjure him and the taller of the blond Canadian champions takes over again. Test puts on a chinlock as the match slows down again. Edge fights up and avoids a corner charge before hitting a middle rope missile dropkick for two. A middle rope cross body misses though and Test puts him on the top rope.

Edge blocks a superplex with some CANADIAN right hands to the ribs but a sunset bomb doesn’t work. Test dives off the top but jumps right into a dropkick to put him down. The problem with this match is neither guy has been able to build up any kind of a run with the title as both have changed hands four times since the Invasion began about four months ago. How can you get behind either guy as a big time champion in that little bit of time? On top of that, Edge has been champion for six days and Test for thirteen. That’s not exactly Honky Tonk Man unifying with Luger in the late 80s.

Both guys are down now but it’s Edge up first with some clotheslines and a spinwheel kick. Test’s pumphandle slam is countered into the Edge-O-Matic for two. Test spears Edge down for two but the big boot misses. There’s the pumphandle for two but Test’s powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana. Edge’s spear gets a close two but he can’t hit the Edgecution. Test tries a full nelson slam but Edge rolls through for the pin and both titles.

Rating: C+. This started pretty slow but it got going once Edge was able to start countering Test’s power stuff. In other words, Edge did the work to make Test’s generic big man offense look decent. This was probably the match of the night so far, which isn’t surprising given how hot Edge got in the next year.

Angle comes up to see a stressed out Stephanie. My goodness her acting is bad. I know I say that a lot, but IT’S FREAKING TERRIBLE. She says if the Alliance loses tonight, she’ll have to buy her own groceries and wash her own car. She can’t be a…..a…..a REGULAR PERSON!!! Angle reminds her that she’s special and doesn’t think Austin will jump.

A cage is lowered.

Jeff Hardy and Lita are talking about Matt Hardy being different lately. Matt comes up and yells at them for acting strange and not being focused enough. It turns into a rallying speech and things seem ok. The guys leave and Trish comes out of the same locker room Matt came out of earlier. Keep in mind that Matt is dating Lita at this point.

WCW Tag Team Titles/WWF Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

In a cage. The Dudleys are WCW Tag Team Champions and the Hardys are the WWF Tag Team Champions and Stacy is STUNNING at this point as the Dudleys’ manager. All four belts get laid out between the guys in the ring and it’s time to go. You can win by pin/submission/both members escaping. There are tags required here and it’s Matt vs. Bubba to start. Matt can’t get anywhere so it’s off to Jeff who walks into a Boss Man Slam for two.

D-Von comes in as Heyman talks about Big Daddy Dudley, which JR could not care less about. Back to Matt who rolls D-Von up for two but walks into a reverse inverted DDT for two. Bubba comes in again and drops a bunch of elbows for two. The Dudleys tag in and out a lot and it’s back to Bubba for more punching to Matt’s ribs. Bubba tries to ram Matt into the cage but gets countered into a reverse DDT.

Off to Jeff who cleans house as everything breaks down. Poetry in Motion hits Bubba and Matt climbs but D-Von makes the save. There’s a Bubba Bomb to Jeff which should likely hurt Bubba as well. Bubba goes up again but Matt slams him down for two. Matt gets rammed into the cage but when the Dudleys try to do the same to Jeff, he grabs the cage and tries to climb out, only to get caught in a Doomsday Device (Paul: “WHAT A RUSH!”).

Matt gets crushed against the cage and Bubba whips D-Von into him for good measure. Bubba splashes him as well and the Dudleys are in full control. Jeff gets in a shot and Matt hits a top rope double clothesline to shift the momentum just as fast though. A DDT puts Bubba down for two and Jeff hits the legdrop between D-Von’s legs. A double backdrop takes Ray down again and the Hardys go up.

Matt hits a legdrop and Jeff hits a splash off the top at the same time for two on Bubba. Matt makes a climb but gets pulled down with one leg still stuck in the cage. What’s Up to Jeff and Bubba asks Stacy for a table. Stacy hits on Nick Patrick and picks the key out of his pocket. There’s a table in the ring now but Matt breaks up the 3D by jumping Bubba. Why D-Von didn’t flapjack Jeff through the table is anyone’s guess.

Bubba and Matt go tot he top and pound away at each other until Bubba is knocked down. Matt climbs down to escape but he’s left alone against the Dudleys. D-Von is rammed into the cage a few times and Jeff goes up as D-Von climbs onto the table for no apparent reason. Jeff looks down and sees D-Von there before diving off the top of the cage, but the Swanton misses. Bubba covers the table and therefore Jeff as well for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. This was the usual good brawl between these teams and it furthers the Hardys’ issues, but at the end of the day this feud was played out at this point. There was nothing left for these two teams to do and at this point it was being dragged out way too far. Still though, good match and a good way to I believe finally end this nearly two year long feud.

Jeff is taken out on a stretcher.

Mick Foley is at WWF New York and admits that his job (WWF Commissioner) means nothing.

Scotty 2 Hotty is about to be in the Immunity Battle Royal but Test beats him up to take his spot.

Immunity Battle Royal

Test, Billy Gunn, Bradshaw, Faarooq, Lance Storm, Billy Kidman, Diamond Dallas Page, Albert, Tazz, Perry Saturn, Raven, Chuck Palumbo, Crash Holly, Justin Credible, Shawn Stasiak, Steven Richards, Tommy Dreamer, The Hurricane, Spike Dudley, Hugh Morrus, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Funaki

I won’t bother explaining who all of these people are as most of them won’t be around again after this show. Some are from the Alliance and some are from the WWF but no matter who wins the main event tonight, the winner of this is guaranteed a job for a year. Stasiak is thrown to the floor before the bell rings and is apparently out. Test drops to the floor to hide as Tazz comes in late. Since it’s a battle royal there’s really not much to talk about here. Everyone punches everyone and no one is put out for awhile. Heyman freaks out about Tazz because Tazz choked him out on Smackdown.

Hurricane dives at Faarooq and is clotheslined out by Bradshaw. Albert throws Saturn out and Test, who is back in now, dumps Faarooq. Page is put out by someone we can’t see and Storm superkicks Palumbo out. Morrus and Chavo run in as wildcards because they tried to jump from the Alliance to the WWF on Raw but got fired as a result. Billy dumps Chavo as Morrus is eliminated as well. Tazz dumps Dreamer and Crash as Storm low bridges Spike out. Bradshaw’s clothesline kills Richards and he’s gone.

Tazz stops to run his mouth to Heyman and gets dumped by Billy. Test and Kidman put Albert out. We’re down to Bradshaw, Kidman, Gunn, Test and Storm. I’ve missed a bunch of eliminations but most of them weren’t shown. The fall away slam puts Kidman out and we’re down to four. Bradshaw kicks Storm down and might have hurt his ankle. Things slow way down as Billy and Bradshaw hang on for dear life. Storm and Test team up to put Bradshaw out but Test dumps Storm as well. A big boot eliminates Gunn and Test wins immunity.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but at the end of the day, it’s a battle royal so what are you expecting to get? Test would fall through the floor in the next year with no one caring about him at all. This was a pretty big batch of jobbers in there though and that doesn’t really make for an interesting match. Then again, neither do most battle royals.

Sacrifice video by Creed. This was a promotional campaign at the time, with highlight videos set to My Sacrifice by Creed.

Booker is worried about Austin jumping. Shane says it’s ok and stick with it.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Ivory vs. Lita vs. Mighty Molly vs. Jacqueline vs. Jazz

Chyna relinquished the title earlier in the year without being pinned and then disappeared so this is the best we’ve got to pick from for the new champion. This is Jazz’s debut and the fans don’t seem to care. Why does no one care? Because Jazz meant nothing in ECW and was a face there but is a heel here. Mighty Molly is Molly Holly as a superhero. Jazz and Lita start things off with Jazz pounding away. Off to Jackie vs. Molly off some blind tags and somehow even fewer people care about Jackie.

Jackie dropkicks Molly down and it’s off to Ivory who gets caught in a sunset flip for two. This is one fall to a finish. Ivory slingshots Jackie into the ropes and it’s off to Trish for some forearms. Lita gets knocked to the floor and the three Alliance chicks (Ivory, Jazz, Molly) triple team Trish for a bit. Jackie double crosses Lita on Poetry in Motion and everyone hits their finishers on everyone else. The Litasault gets two on Ivory as Jazz saves. Lita gets backdropped to the floor and it’s Ivory vs. Trish left. Stratusfaction gives Trish her first title.

Rating: D. It was short, the match wasn’t any good, Trish looked great in the skin tight barely there pink shorts, Lita looked good as usual, and that’s all I’ve got here. As usual with situations like this, when the previous champion doesn’t lose the title, the new champion comes in at a big disadvantage.

Vince looks at Team WWF and gives them a pep talk, bringing up names like Dr. Jerry Graham, Peter Maivia, Gorilla Monsoon (pop) and Andre the Giant (BIG pop). He understands he might be looking at a group of losers, and if that happens no one will ever forgive them. After listening to that speech, I want to go fight three WWF guys and one guy each from ECW and WCW!

We recap the main event which has been summed up pretty well already. Vince was originally on the team but replaced by Big Show and Rock and Jericho are having major issues. Rock is WCW champion and Austin is WWF Champion. This really does feel like a huge match. The video is set to Control by Puddle of Mudd which fits really well.

Basically Vince said that he was tired of all of the Invasion (as were a lot of fans at this point) and offered one winner take all match with the losing organization going out of business. Angle joined the Alliance after the announcement but Vince says Austin is coming back to the WWF, giving the Alliance reason to be concerned. Austin stunned Angle on TV recently to further that idea.

Team WWF vs. Team Alliance

WWF: The Rock, Chris Jericho, Big Show, Undertaker, Kane

Alliance: Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Booker T, Rob Van Dam, Shane McMahon

Everyone gets individual entrances so it takes forever to get to the start of the match. As those are going on, a few things to notice here: Team Alliance has one of the biggest WWF superstars ever, a guy that at this point had only wrestled in the WWF, a WCW guy, an ECW guy, and the then heir to the WWF throne.

Also, as goes the stereotype for the WWF, most of their guys are big and strong instead of the more athletic styles of the Alliance team. One other thing: JR keeps up one of the annoying inaccuracies in wrestling by saying that Undertaker won the World Title in his WWF debut. It was a year later, which you should know if you’ve read this far.

Rock and Austin start fighting before the bell and you know the early advantage doesn’t mean a thing in this one. Austin hits the Thesz Press and the middle rope elbow for a very early two. Rock comes back with a middle finger elbow of his own and dares Shane to get in. Off to Booker who gets clotheslined down for two as Shane makes the save. Expect to hear that line quite a bit. Off to Jericho as Heyman blames Vince for the end of ECW.

Van Dam and Jericho have a nice fast paced sequence with Jericho hitting a spinwheel kick for no cover. Jericho chops away but misses a dropkick, allowing Rob to hit the cartwheel into a moonsault for two. For reasons likely related to high levels of drug use, Van Dam tries a standing hurricanrana on Jericho, only to be countered into the Walls. Shane makes the third save of the match already and it’s off to Angle vs. Kane.

Angle gets thrown around but eventually slips behind Kane and hits a German Suplex for two. Kane comes back with a side slam and the top rope clothesline for two of his own as Shane saves again. Off to the Dead Man who pounds away but misses a charge into the corner, allowing Booker to get the tag. Undertaker immediately drops Booker and hits a legdrop, but Shane breaks up his fifth near fall of the match.

There’s Old School to Booker followed by that lifting wristlock which always looks painful. Off to a short armed scissors followed by a clothesline for two, resulting in ANOTHER save from Shane. Austin comes in to pound on Undertaker (and causing Heyman to say WHAT after everything JR says) but he gets caught in Old School. Say it with me: Shane makes the save. Undertaker gets caught in the wrong corner and quintuple teamed.

Angle is in next and tries to slug it out with the Dead Man for some reason. Undertaker escapes a German and DDTs Angle down. There’s the tag to Big Show and JR almost immediately bashes him, saying Show can make a huge difference, or he can make some huge mistakes. Show throws around RVD and Angle before clearing off the entire Alliance corner. Angle gets underneath Show and there’s the Slam followed by an Ax kick from Booker (and a Spinarooni) and a Five Star and a top rope elbow from Shane for the first elimination.

Shane dances around in celebration before turning around to meet The Rock who beats the living tar out of Shane with right hands in the corner. Off to Kane for a chokeslam, then a tombstone from Undertaker and a Lionsault from Jericho to tie it up. That’s the best way to go as Show and Shane were the weak links on both teams. Angle vs. Jericho now with Jericho hitting the forearm to start. A double underhook backbreaker puts Angle down but Austin saves.

Angle uses an amateur takedown and brings in Booker to slam Chris a few times. RVD gets a tag but one of his shoulders in the corner is countered into a sunset flip for two. Off to Kane who catches a punch from RVD. Van Dam’s comeback? Kick the guy in the head. Kane pulls Booker in and kicks him in the face too but the numbers game allows Van Dam to take Kane down and hit the Five Star. Rob takes too long to cover though and gets caught in a chokeslam, but Booker kicks Kane. Everything breaks down and Rob kicks Kane from the top for the pin to make it 4-3.

Undertaer pounds on Van Dam in the corner while everyone else is fighting on the floor. Austin and Angle get in as well and Undertaker has to fight all four guys at once. He gets them all in a corner and keeps charging at all of them with clotheslines in a cool sequence. Snake Eyes and a big boot take Angle down and there’s a Last Ride for him as well. Booker comes in with a chair but Undertaker boots him down, leaving himself open to a Stunner from Austin and the pin by Angle. That leaves us with Austin/Angle/Booker/RVD vs. Rock/Jericho.

Booker stomps on Rock but Rocky comes back with right hands. A side kick takes Rock right back down but Rock does the same with a DDT for two. Booker charges into a Samoan Drop for two as Austin makes the save. Rock whips Booker into Angle and grabs a rollup to eliminate Mr. T, making it 3-2.

Rob is in next but as he goes up, Rock kind of powerbombs him off the top for two. Jericho gets the tag and hits a running neckbreaker for two before chopping away in the corner. Van Dam avoids the Lionsault and kicks Chris’ head off, followed by the split legged moonsault for no cover. Jericho pops up and hits a Breakdown (Skull Crushing Finale) out of nowhere for the pin and the elimination to tie it up at two each.

Austin slingshots Rock into the post on the floor while Angle and Jericho fight in the ring. Angle picks Jericho’s ankle and stomps away on him as Heyman thinks the Alliance can find a place for the Rock. Back to Austin to pound away on Chris and hit a superplex for two. Austin hits a kind of northern lights/belly to belly suplex for two and here’s Angle again. Jericho puts Kurt in the ankle lock but Kurt quickly escapes and hits a clothesline to take over.

It’s back to Austin for a suplex and an elbow to the face. Angle comes in and stomps away before it’s back to Austin who stomps away as well. We hit one of the few chinlocks in this match as Jericho is in trouble. Jericho fights up and it’s a double tag to bring in Rock vs. Angle with the Great One quickly hooking a Sharpshooter on Kurt for an even faster tap. Heyman LOSES IT in a great moment.

Off to Austin vs. Jericho with Chris trying the Walls but Austin rakes the eyes to escape. Austin can’t put Jericho in the Boston crab either but he gets the knees up to block the Lionsault. Steve loads up a superplex but gets shoved down, followed by a missile dropkick for Jericho for two. Austin counters a rollup out of nowhere for the pin and the elimination to get us down to Rock vs. Austin.

Rock hits a bad spinebuster but Jericho hits a Breakdown on Rock to take him down in a double cross. It’s not joining the Alliance, but rather just personal hatred. That gets two for Austin andUndertaker comes out to stalk Jericho to the back. Austin pounds away before launching Rock over the top and out to the floor. They fight on the floor with Austin being laid on the table and slapped in the chest over and over.

Austin comes back but gets sent over the announce table and punched in the face by Rock. Back in Rock chops away but gets caught in the whip spinebuster from Austin. Austin puts on a bad Sharpshooter and there’s your Montreal reference. Rock finally makes the rope so Austin grabs the WWF Title. Rock ducks the swing and puts Austin the Sharpshooter but he’s afraid to let go of the belt for some reason. I guess realizing he has a job no matter what, he grabs the rope instead.

Back up and Austin’s Stunner is countered into a Stunner from Rock. Why that puts Rock down after Rock had been in control for awhile is beyond me but whatever. Rock covers but here’s Nick Patrick to pull Hebner out. A Rock Bottom to Patrick is broken up and Austin Rock Bottoms Rock for two. Austin drills Patrick and pulls Hebner back in, only to be sent into him again as Rock counters the Stunner. There’s the Stunner to Rock but there’s no referee. Angle runs in and nails Austin with the title, letting Rock hit the Rock Bottom for the pin and the death of the Alliance. JR to Heyman: “You’re out of work! AGAIN!”

Rating: A. This felt like a main event and was very entertaining too. It runs forty five minutes bell to bell and feels like about half of that. At the end of the day, it was pretty clear what was going to happen but that doesn’t make it a bad match. Rock vs. Austin was pretty much done for a long time after this match, which is the right call as they had run it a lot this year. Great stuff here though.

Everyone celebrates and Vince comes out for the big dramatic pose, because this whole storyline was all about Vince and his kids.

Overall Rating: B+. Like I said, as goes the main event, so goes the show. The rest of the show isn’t bad but the main event is over an hour counting buildup video and entrances and all that jazz. The rest of the show isn’t bad at all with a good cage match and nothing truly bad that didn’t involve Trish looking great, so I can’t complain much here. Also, it gets rid of the Alliance which makes things better already.

As for the Invasion, I could go on at great length, but in short form: it was the biggest waste of time, money, and potential that there ever could be in wrestling. This was the biggest storyline you could possibly ask for and they BLEW IT. There are multiple options you could go with here. One idea is have no mention on TV of the WWF buying WCW and just keep it going with WWF guys in charge behind the scenes. Think a network might have been interested with it being under the direction of the biggest wrestling company ever?

Another option: have the Alliance win. At the end of the day any money they’ve got goes into the WWF’s pocket as they own EVERYTHING, so what difference does it make? Granted that was never going to happen with Vince’s ego, but why let money get in the way of Vince feeling good about himself? The Invasion could have been so much more but it wound up running about five months with the WWF dominating the whole way through. Such a shame and a loss for wrestling fans who had waited for so many years for a chance to have this happen.

Ratings Comparison

Christian vs. Al Snow

Original: C+

Redo: C-

William Regal vs. Tajiri

Original: C

Redo: N/A

Edge vs. Test

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Battle Royal

Original: N/A

Redo: C-

Trish Stratus vs. Lita vs. Jacqueline vs. Ivory vs. Mighty Molly vs. Jazz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Team WWF vs. Team Alliance

Original: B

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: B+

Like I said, as the main event goes, so goes the show. That’s apparently the case here as I liked both better the second time around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/10/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2001-the-end-of-the-alliance-thank-goodness/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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