IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 1, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

It’s the week before the big Crossroads show and that means it’s time to build things up a bit. Next week’s main event will see Austin Aries defending the World Title against Johnny Impact in what could be an awesome match. Other than that though we’re likely in for more build towards Abyss vs. Kongo Kong, because that’s what we need to see. Let’s get to it.

Need a recap?  Here’s last week’s review.

The opening video looks at Ethan Carter III and Tyrus reuniting and then splitting up in very short order. That’s the smart move considering Carter is leaving.

Opening sequence.

Ethan Carter III vs. Tyrus

Carter runs his mouth (as is his custom) and is promptly shoved out to the floor. Back in and Carter gets shoved outside again as Josh talks about all the other companies they’ll be visiting soon. Carter stalls a lot, including messing with a fan’s phone, before going back in to have his arm cranked.

Chops and running clotheslines have no effect on Tyrus and it’s Carter being crushed in the corner. A charge misses though and Carter gets in a few shots to the back. Carter’s middle rope ax handle drops Tyrus and we hit the cravate. Tyrus shrugs it off and hits a corner splash before hitting his own 1%er. The Tongan Death Grip slam is enough to end Carter at 8:13.

Rating: D+. Assuming this is it for Carter, I’ll give this one a break with him leaving the company for blacker and yellower pastures. It’s certainly a better way to have him go out than having Dixie Carter grab his foot and beg him to stay. I’m not sure on Tyrus being the one to get the rub but it’s better than having Carter just leave.

Joseph Park is going to fight Kongo Kong tonight on his own, but neither he nor his family seems to give him much of a chance.

OVE and Sami Callihan say this is no longer fun and games. Violence takes place tonight.

Josh and Sonjay are in a studio to preview the rest of the show. Better than them saying they’re ringside every week.

El Hijo de Fantasma vs. Braxton Sutter

Hijo’s Latin American Championship isn’t on the line and there’s no entrance for Sutter. Hijo shoulders him down to start as Josh plugs the network, featuring a bunch of names that aren’t around anymore. Some clotheslines put Fantasma down for two but the chinlock doesn’t last very long. A backbreaker gives Fantasma two and a jumping superkick puts Sutter on the floor for the hard suicide dive. Back in and Sutter powerbombs him for two with his feet on the ropes. Not that it matters as Fantasma’s Thrill of the Hunt (Samoan Driver) is good for the pin at 5:14.

Rating: C-. This felt like angle advancement more than anything else as Fantasma is now a big deal around here because he’s a big deal in AAA. Sutter on the other hand….what happened? He and Allie should have been moved up several notches last year off the wedding angle but instead we’re here, seeing him losing in five minutes. I’m sure this was the best possible use for him though.

Post match Sutter yells about how Allie isn’t here because she ruins lives. He’s the biggest star in the company….and cue Brian Cage to wreck Sutter in short order.

Matt Sydal wants to share his spiritual adviser with the world.

Sydal is ready to win the X-Division Title next week but Taiji Ishimori comes in with his own scroll, asking if Sydal will make it title for title. No answer is given.

Kongo Kong vs. Joseph Park

Park goes after him but gets dropped with a single shot to the chest. Kong hammers away in the corner and Park’s headbutt knocks himself down. The top rope splash puts Park away at 2:14.

Post match Jimmy Jacobs gets in while Kong chokes Park. They still want Abyss and this is just getting started.

The Cult of Lee is having a party when the Mumbai Cats come in. After making fun of the masked men and not letting them have a drink, Konnan comes in to wonder why the Cult of Lee isn’t doing cartwheels in Wonder Woman bikinis. They say Konnan is here before and if you don’t know what’s coming, you haven’t been watching wrestling long. LAX throws Lee and Konley into the pool.

Alberto El Patron should be #1 contender. Well to be fair he hasn’t had a World Title match in like two weeks at this point.

Rosemary vs. Hania

Rosemary wastes no time in hammering away at the chest and gets two off a clothesline. A very early Red Wedding attempt is broken up but Rosemary is right back up with her figure four neck lock over the ropes. Hania gets dropped with a dropkick and a t-bone suplex for two. A spear into the Red Wedding is good for the pin on Hania at 3:13. Total squash.

Rating: D. Odds are that’s it for Hania and other than a look, I’m not sure what else she had to offer. This was complete destruction with Hania getting in absolutely nothing, which should tell you that she’s either done or not exactly thought of in the first place. Rosemary getting back towards the title is a good idea though and she should be going after the title in short order.

Post match Rosemary says Hania was just a puppy and now it’s time to bring the Knockouts Title back to the shadow. Rosemary dubs herself the Alpha B**** but here’s the returning Taya Valkyrie to disagree. Taya says the only truth in that is the B**** part but it should be Taya’s, not Alpha. They both go to the apron but Taya jumps her from behind. The Road to Valhalla on the ramp drops Rosemary.

This week’s classic clip: Eddie Edwards wins the World Title from Bobby Lashley.

We get a somewhat creepy video on Laurel Van Ness’ rocky road, including her near wedding to Braxton Sutter, going crazy, nearly marrying Grado, and now her commitment ceremony to the Knockouts Title.

KM, the minister for the ceremony, brings the title, with a bow tie, to the ring. Laurel comes out in a dress with the lipstick being all over the place as usual. She wants him to get to the good part, meaning the objections. Cue Braxton, now in a neck brace, to interrupt. He was dropped on his head earlier and Laurel flashed before his eyes. A year ago, he made a huge mistake when he left her at the altar. He proposes, but she screams NO over and over. KM: “EPIC FAIL BRO!” Laurel asks for more objections and even shouts a request for them. Cue Allie, in a black body suit which isn’t really necessary as she’s sneaking in, to jump Laurel and ruin the ceremony.

The announcers preview next week’s show.

Video on Austin Aries vs. Johnny Impact for the World Title next week.

Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie sends him outside for the suicide dive five seconds in but Sami rolls back in to hit one of his own eleven seconds in. Eddie hits another though and we get to thirty seconds on the replays. Some chops rock Sami and OVE is ejected for a distraction. Sami gets in an apron kick to the face though and we take a break. Back with Eddie fighting out of a chinlock and chopping away, but getting caught in a piledriver on the apron. Since this is a regular TV match though, Sami doesn’t even bother to cover.

Eddie fights out of something like a standing Crossface and kicks Sami in the face to catch him on top. A superplex brings Sami back down for no cover as Eddie can’t follow up. The Backpack Stunner gets two but Sami is right back with the running knee in the corner. A slingshot suplex neckbreaker gives Sami two and an exchange of kicks to the head puts both guys down. Sami loads up a powerbomb but Eddie backdrops into a cradle for the pin at 15:04.

Rating: C+. I liked this better than most Sami matches as it actually felt like a match. I’m still not sure why Sami and OVE are going after Lashley and Eddie but I’m guessing it’s something to do with the team being insane. Eddie winning makes sense as it’s not like a member of the team losing a singles match to a former World Champion is a huge blow.

Callihan gives him a double underhook shoulder breaker and we cut to the back where OVE beats up Lashley. Back in the arena, Sami puts a chair on Eddie’s chest and hits it with a baseball bat…but the bat keeps going and HITS EDDIE IN THE FACE (with a sickening sound) to end the show. That shot to the face wasn’t planned, mainly because it’s about as dangerous of a thing as you could have done.

Overall Rating: C. You can see where they’re going with a lot of stuff and they set up next week’s show well enough. The World Title match didn’t need a ton of hype as that’s big enough on its own standing. The wrestling wasn’t anything great here but at least we’re getting towards the big show. If that works, then this doesn’t matter nearly as much. Pretty standard buildup show here and I can settle for that.

Results

Tyrus b. Ethan Carter III – Tongan Death Grip slam

El Hijo de Fantasma b. Braxton Sutter – The Thrill of the Hunt

Kongo Kong b. Joseph Park – Top rope splash

Rosemary b. Hania – Red Wedding

Eddie Edwards b. Sami Callihan – Rollup

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 11, 2018
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

After last week’s stacked card containing four title matches and a loser leaves town match, it should be interesting to see what the company has for a follow up. There’s a good chance that they won’t have nearly as much to offer tonight and you really can’t blame them on that front. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s major events, including the two title changes and James Storm’s career ending. Thankfully they ignore that stupid World Title clip fest.

Opening sequence.

Here are Bobby Lashley and Dan Lambert to get things going. Impact has surprised Lambert as he never thought it would be this resilient. Lambert is here for two reasons. First is to have a moment of silence for James Storm’s career. Since he’s unemployed, maybe the fans can put together a collection and get him some beer money (good line, as Lambert is still one of the best promos in this company).

Lambert is also here to bring out the newest member of American Top Team. This man could do what Lashley couldn’t do when he put Storm down. Lashley isn’t happy and it’s even worse when the new member is revealed to be KM. We get the shirt presentation before KM says he’s proven himself by taking out everyone in front of him, capped off by helping Lambert to get rid of Storm. KM mentions getting rid of Moose, who comes out way faster than he should. The fight doesn’t last long as Moose gets beaten down until Eddie Edwards makes the save. Lashley has to pull Lambert from the ring.

Like I said, Lambert is a great promo but this story has long passed its expiration date. It’s been going for several months now and there’s no real reason to keep it going at this point. They’ve covered the MMA vs. wrestlers thing (with the MMA guys dominating) and now they’re just regular heels. That’s all well and good and Lambert shifting towards being a regular manager is better, but this is living on borrowed time to put it mildly.

Post break, the obvious tag match is made.

The announcers recap last week’s show again.

Here’s Grand Champion Ethan Carter III to issue an open challenge for the title. First though, Carter needs to mock Matt Sydal for choking over and over again every time he has a chance to win the big one. Sydal chokes so much he might as well play forward for the Ottawa Senators. That gets the expected heat from the crowd and now the open challenge is on.

Grand Championship: Ethan Carter III vs. Petey Williams

Carter is defending of course….and there are no judges or any mention of the round system. Could it be true? Did my New Year’s wish come true? Well at least the one regarding the Grand Championship? The fans are way into Petey and a headscissors makes those cheers even louder. He ties Carter in the Tree of Woe as we hear, for the second time in the match, about what a great comeback story Williams was in 2017.

Carter sends him into the corner and chokes on the rope, followed by a knee to the ribs. A waistlock keeps Petey down for a bit but he reverses into a side roll for two. The Canadian Destroyer is countered into a TK3 for two and Petey is sent outside. As Petey holds his knee, Sydal runs in for the DQ at 4:49. There was no mention made of the round system and judges being dropped.

Rating: D. This was too short to mean much but I’m more interested in this seemingly turning back into the TV Title. I’m guessing Sydal’s promo last week where he suggested a regular match for the title is all we’re getting and I’m really fine with that. The round system was a bad idea from the first day and the thing should have just been a regular midcard title. This is the right move and gets rid of a problem that doesn’t need to exist.

Allie isn’t happy with Laurel Van Ness attacking her last week. She’s not the weak little Allie anymore and she’s ready to play if Laurel wants to. Much more serious here, but still with a hint of the old Allie in there, as there should be.

Alberto El Patron isn’t happy.

Sydal says Carter can’t call him out and not expect to pay the consequences. He wants a title shot with a sixty minute time limit and no rounds (“That’s out”) and no judges (“They’re gone). If Carter can beat him there, then he’ll get a handshake and a hug. The challenge makes sense, and PLEASE let that be a permanent change.

We see James Storm winning the World Title from Kurt Angle in less than two minutes on October 20, 2011.

KC Spinelli vs. Laurel Van Ness

Non-title. Laurel takes her straight into the corner and knees her in the ribs before yelling at Spinelli for touching her fur coat. Spinelli slaps her right back but gets kicked in the face for her disrespect. A bridging vertical suplex (that’s a new one for some reason) gets two on Laurel and they kick each other in the face at the same time. Laurel is up first and a curb stomp into the Unprettier is good for the pin on Spinelli at 5:22.

Rating: D+. This was fine as a way to get Laurel a win under her belt and that’s always a good idea. Of course it would have been a good idea to have Spinelli work a match on Impact before they showed her in the Canadian promotion but that’s another problem for later. If nothing else, Laurel’s gimmick is really starting to work for her. She looks outstanding in her gear but the shots of her face are nothing short of unnerving.

Post match Allie comes in and beats on Laurel before holding up the title.

Here are Eli Drake and Chris Adonis for a championship address. Adonis channels a little Rick Rude with a “what we’d like to have right now” to introduce for the champ. Drake calls anyone who lives in this horrible weather year round a dummy before holding up the title. He shifts his attention to Alberto, who came back all upset but then thought he could swim with the big fish.

Drake is standing here with the title and Alberto should have stayed at the bar. He’ll defend the title again next week in Detroit but here’s Alberto to interrupt. Alberto, now a full on face again, says he’d love to beat Drake around the ring next week. He wants to fight now but here’s Johnny Impact to interrupt. Johnny has heard about both of them being in Detroit so he’ll have to join the party. The brawl is on with Johnny getting the better of it. Drake has already beaten both of these guys and I’m really not sure why we need to see these three fight any more, save for the company has nothing else to do at this point.

We look at Raven having his head shaved back in 2003.

Recap of the opening segment.

American Top Team (now just Lambert, Lashley and KM) are in the back and Lambert gives KM all of the credit for getting rid of Storm. Lashley isn’t happy.

Chandler and Joseph Park are glad about Chandler’s win last week. Jimmy Jacobs comes up to ask what happened to Abyss. Jacobs: “You used to be the guy that put people into ambulance and now you’re the guy chasing ambulances.” Chandler, in a nasal voice, stands up to Jacobs because Joseph is family. Jacobs steps aside so Kongo Kong, who Jimmy says is family to him can come in. Chandler: “So scary!” I like the Parks but I could go without seeing Jacobs or Kong ever again, especially the latter.

OVE wrecks LAX’s clubhouse. Good grief ENOUGH BETWEEN THESE TEAMS ALREADY! Post break LAX finds the wrecked clubhouse and says it’s time to go back to their roots. Barbed wire is mentioned.

Cult of Lee/Hakim Zane vs. Dezmond Xavier/Garza Jr./Sonjay Dutt

Garza headbutts Zane around to start and brings in Xavier to trip him up a few times. A dropkick to the back of the head sends Zane outside as everything breaks down. Back from a break with Zane charging into Dutt’s boot in the corner as Lee poses in the corner. Zane actually gets in a few shots to the back and hands it off to Konley for a double arm crank. Lee kicks at the chest as we hear about Ishimori defending the title in Japan.

Even Zane gets to come in for a chinlock until Dutt dropkicks him down. The hot tag brings in Garza to clean house but hang on because IT’S TIME FOR GARZA TO TAKE OFF HIS PANTS! It’s so distracting that Konley and Lee don’t notice Zane’s missile dropkick which hits them by mistake. Dezmond comes in and hits the Final Flash for the pin on Zane at 10:27.

Rating: C-. This was your run of the mill X-Division match and that’s the big problem: even when you get someone like Xavier or Ishimori, they’re stuck with these generic heels who don’t do anything to set themselves apart. Why should I be interested in seeing people defeat weak talents and not get to show off what they can do? It’s a big reason why the division is boring and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

Post match Ishimori comes out and holds up the title in front of Xavier. They shake hands before their title match next week.

Also next week: Kongo Kong vs. Chandler Park and clips of the triple threat match from Detroit. You know, a match we can’t have HERE. Also, a barbed wire match with OVE vs. LAX.

Moose/Eddie Edwards vs. KM/Bobby Lashley

It’s a brawl to start until we settle down to KM vs. Moose. Some chops in the corner have KM in trouble but he avoids Edwards’ elbow, allowing the beatdown to begin. Back from an early break with Lashley slamming Eddie for two but missing a charge to fall outside. Moose comes in for a double elbow to KM, followed by Eddie jumping on Moose’s back for a double backsplash. Edwards gets posted though and the heels take over again.

Lashley’s neckbreaker doesn’t even get one as Moose is in there IMMEDIATELY for the save. Eddie reverses a suplex to put KM down but Lashley breaks up the tag attempt. Lashley charges into a knee though and a middle rope dropkick puts him down. A crawl through the legs is enough to bring in KM and Moose’s middle rope chokebomb gets two. KM gets low bridged to the floor and Eddie follows him out with the suicide dive. Lambert gets in a cheap shot though and KM’s powerbomb into a Backstabber is enough to pin Eddie at 14:46.

Rating: D+. This was a way to establish KM as a member of the team but it should also help further the wedge between Lambert and Lashley, likely leading to Lashley turning face. I’m not sure why this is considered a big deal when people turn around here so frequently (including Lashley) but that’s certainly better for a conclusion to the story than anything else I’ve seen so far.

A preview of OVE vs. LAX wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C. Not a bad show this week as they were advancing a lot of stuff while getting ready for some of the bigger matches down the line. You need that kind of show, especially coming off of a bigger episode like last week. That being said, I have no idea why we can’t have a World Title match in the arena the show is airing from. It doesn’t feel right and comes off like it’s less important than everything else. Fix that up and the title seems more important. Other than that, they’ve got some good stuff going here and it’s not a huge falloff coming out of last week. Not a good show, but it did its job well enough.

Results

Ethan Carter III b. Petey Williams via DQ when Matt Sydal interfered

Laurel Van Ness b. KC Spinelli – Unprettier

Dezmond Xavier/Sonjay Dutt/Garza Jr. b. Cult of Lee/Hakim Zane – Final Flash to Zane

KM/Lashley b. Moose/Eddie Edwards – Powerbomb into a Backstabber to Edwards

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 23, 2017
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

We’re getting into the swing of these Canadian tapings but there’s a good chance this show isn’t going to mean much for the most part due to the holiday. The big story tonight is the return of Johnny Impact and Alberto El Patron after one full week away. It’s hard to say what they’ll do, though I’d put my money on brawling. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Tonight, the Turkey Bowl is back. There’s a match between a bunch of people and the loser gets put in a turkey suit.

The Turkey Bowl is so cool that we need to go back to the 2008 version!

Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Rhyno vs. Alex Shelley

Bashir is X-Division Champion and helps Shelley for a double team on Rhyno. That goes nowhere as Rhyno easily slugs both of them away and scores with a belly to belly for two on Bashir. Clipped to Rhyno getting double teamed again but the others keep getting in an argument over scoring the pin (and a $25,000 prize). Bashir rolls Shelley up for two but gets caught in a super atomic drop. Rhyno uses the distraction to Gore Shelley for the pin at 2:48 shown.

Post match, Mick Foley tells Shelley he has to put the suit on but Shelley doesn’t want to. See, the women won’t be happy and that would hurt the ratings. That’s cool with Foley, but Shelley is fired if he doesn’t do it. Shelley finally puts it on and Foley makes gibblet jokes. Foley: “Is that a gizzard in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” The suit goes on and more jokes are made. If this is the case, I can go with it more than holding a regular show on Thanksgiving.

Robert Irvine has prepared a Thanksgiving dinner and I think you know where this is going later in the night.

We hear some Thanksgiving memories from wrestlers.

Eli Drake and Chris Adonis interrupt the Thanksgiving festivities and tells a story about his daddy’s mashed potatoes, which is one of the things his family does best (along with beating people up of course). The Turkey Bowl is now Eli Drake’s Gravy Train Turkey Trot and we’ll be drawing some random names for the five on five match. One team will be captained by Eddie Edwards.

Eddie is excited and says this is a big check off his wrestling bucket list.

The other captain is El Hijo Del Fantasma, who says Thanksgiving doesn’t mean anything in Mexico. It sounds like a party though and every party needs chocolate.

Video on the upcoming Knockouts Title tournament. It ticks Sienna off, making me think that Sienna has some intelligence to her.

Wrestlers list their favorite Thanksgiving foods.

Preview for next week’s show, including Johnny Impact vs. Alberto El Patron.

From 2011.

Robbie E. vs. Eric Young

Joined in progress with Robbie beating up the turkey suit before dropping a middle rope elbow for two. We’re clipped to Young hitting a piledriver for the pin at 1:12 shown.

Post match, Robbie is still out so he can’t put on the suit. Therefore, Young says Robbie’s buddy Robbie T. can put it on instead. The referee says that if T. doesn’t, E. loses the TV Title (yes they had the TV Champion lose a match like this) so the suit goes on.

Allie joins Team Edwards and is really excited to get to wear the suit…until she finds out she has to lose first. She isn’t interested.

Caleb Konley joins Team Fantasma and Trevor Lee isn’t too happy with it.

Richard Justice is on Eddie’s team but he’s worried he can’t fit in the suit.

Various wrestlers are thankful for various things.

KM is on Fantasma’s team but doesn’t care about anything other than impressing American Top Team.

Laurel Van Ness is also on Team Edwards (despite being a villain) and makes turkey noises.

Wrestlers talk about Thanksgiving memories.

From 2016.

Robbie E. vs. Grado

I think we’re in comedy match territory. They trade fists to start but it’s a fist pound instead. That leads to back to back nipple twists before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Both guys try rollups with feet on the ropes but enforcer Aiden O’Shea cuts them off. Grado tries a sunset flip but Robbie sits on him for the pin at 2:49.

O’Shea makes Grado put the suit on but he starts to get into it. Dancing ensues.

Fallah Bahh is in the match as well. I’m assuming on Team Fantasma if they’re still alternating picks. Bahh can only say his last name and gobble gobble.

Garza Jr. is in as well and says everyone in the tournament (What tournament?) is underestimating him due to his injury.

The final entrant, and announced as a team captain, is Chris Adonis. Wait so was it five in a row or alternating? Why would they not just say that the first and last names pulled out are captains? My goodness how can they manage to screw up PULLING NAMES OUT OF A HAT??? Would a graphic have been too much to ask for?

Adonis rallies his team as we’re just forgetting the whole “Fantasma is captain” thing.

Team Edwards is ready.

Team Edwards vs. Team Adonis

Eddie Edwards, Garza Jr., Allie, Fallah Bahh, Richard Justice

Chris Adonis, Caleb Konley, Laurel Van Ness, KM, El Hijo Del Fantasma

The loser of the fall wears a turkey suit and there’s food at ringside, along with Eli Drake. We’re not ready yet though as the teams sit down at the food tables as Drake insists that everyone has to put on the suit if they lose. He has a statement for JB to read, which pretty much just says everyone play nice.

Justice sticks his finger in Konley’s mouth to start and gets two off a rollup. Laurel comes in and jumps on Justice’s back so it’s off to the women for a change. KM and Bahh are up next with some shots to Bahh’s head taking us to a break. Back with Bahh crossbodying KM and bringing in Garza….WHO TAKES OFF HIS PANTS! I’m rather thankful.

Garza gets punched down though and it’s time for the heel beatdown. Adonis comes in for two off a legdrop and it’s time for a bearhug (on a guy with a bad shoulder). That goes nowhere and the hot tag brings in Eddie to clean house. Everything breaks down in a hurry and KM gets crushed between Justice and Bahh.

We get the big crash to the floor and Justice falls off the apron, only to be caught without much effort. Allie dives onto everyone to break up the pile and everyone is down. Back in and Adonis can’t grab the Adonis Lock, allowing Eddie to roll him up for the pin at 16:04, meaning Adonis gets to wear the suit.

Rating: C-. Oh what were you expecting here? This was all in good fun and nothing more than a comedy match. The match was just there for the sake of having a one off match for a holiday special and as a result, it’s really hard to be harsh on it. Adonis having to wear the suit is fine and it continues a (rather goofy) tradition. It wasn’t anything good, but it’s perfectly harmless.

Post break, Adonis refuses to wear the suit. Security actually stops him as the referee holds up the suit like an executioner’s ax. After a lot of persuading and a GOBBLE GOBBLE (One of us?) chant, Adonis finally puts it on and walks around a bit. Adonis isn’t cool with the chants though and the required food fight, with Adonis hitting Drake in the face with a pie, ends the show. This was actually entertaining as they just went with the simple comedy and it worked perfectly well.

Overall Rating: C. Just like the main event, this was nothing you needed to see but it’s completely harmless fun. I’m rather glad they didn’t waste a regular show on a night where even fewer people than usual would be watching. Just let the show be a lighter edition for a change and get back to the regular stuff next week. This was an easy show to sit through and that’s all it should have been. If you ignore the more complicated than necessary name drawing system (Just throw up a graphic so we know who is on which side. Or drop the captains entirely as they didn’t mean anything.), this was a fun little show and that’s a good sign.

Results

Team Edwards b. Team Adonis – Rollup to Adonis

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 9, 2017
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s time for a new year for Impact and that means we’re on a new taping cycle. Things should be a lot more energetic this week as we start to see what the latest new brain trust has in store for us. Eli Drake is still World Champion and we’ve proven that MMA is better than wrestling so let’s get to it.

Josh and JB are in the ring to run down some of the card.

We see a package from Bound For Glory.

Here are Eli Drake and Chris Adonis for the victory speech. Adonis has to tell the fans to stop cheering for Drake so he can introduce him as Canada’s favorite wrestler. With a bit of an echo in the arena, Drake says this was exactly how the plan was supposed to go. Now a JOHNNY chant cuts him off (sounds like they’re People Power fans) but he’s tired of hearing about Alberto El Patron being mistreated by the company.

It’s nothing compared to being mistreated by Eli Drake, who has tonight off due to his injuries from Bound For Glory. Cue Petey Williams we as begin catering to the live crowd instead of everywhere else. Petey wants a title shot tonight because Drake has never faced him. Drake agrees but for next week, which brings Petey down to the ring. Adonis gets dropped by a single kick but Drake escapes a Canadian Destroyer attempt.

Jimmy Jacobs comes out for commentary for the opening match.

Sonjay Dutt vs. Matt Sydal

They take each other down to the mat to start and let’s cut to a shot of the commentary! After confirming that they are in fact doing commentary, we go back to Dutt armdragging him into an armbar. Jacobs leaves commentary as Sydal takes Dutt down into something like a reverse Muta Lock (with Dutt on his back and his knee being bent). That goes nowhere so it’s off to a half crab with Dutt quickly making the rope.

Sydal goes up top but gets superplexed back down and we take a break. Back with an exchange of kicks to the leg until Sydal kicks him in the face for two. A leg lock has Dutt in trouble until he crawls over to the ropes for the save. Dutt grabs a tornado DDT and heads up top, only to miss…I think a splash. Sydal flips him down and hits the shooting star for the pin at 15:34.

Rating: C+. Well that was long. I can appreciated the idea of the X-Division guys getting to showcase themselves a bit more, though I still would love some stories in these things. Sydal wants the title, though after seeing him challenge Lashley a few months back, it’s kind of hard to care about him going after the dead X-Division Title.

Post match Ethan Carter III of all people comes out, which hopefully means the AAA nonsense is over. Carter says it’s another win for Sydal, but that’s what he always does, at least until we get to the big moment where he always chokes. Ethan knows he’s the best around here but Sydal is just another talented guy who doesn’t have the whole package. Maybe Sydal can be reborn again, this time as a winner.

And now, here’s a good chunk of a six man tag from 2004 with Team Canada vs. Amazing Red/Sonjay Dutt/Hector Garza. This is an ad for the Global Wrestling Network and suggests to me that on the first show after the biggest show of the year, they already need filler because they can’t film enough at their tapings. That’s not good.

GHC World Title: El Hijo de Fantasma vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie, an American, is defending the Japanese title against a luchador from Mexico in Canada. Before the match, we have to confirm that this is in fact a sanctioned match, complete with a Pro Wrestling Noah representative. Feeling out process to start with Eddie’s hammerlock getting nowhere. Instead he goes up top, only to get pulled down with a hurricanrana for two. A superplex gets Eddie out of trouble but he’s a bit too banged up to do anything with it.

Eddie’s Blue Thunder Bomb gets two and he kicks Fantasma in the mask to stop a suicide dive. Fantasma has to stomp Eddie’s feet to break up a tiger driver on the apron but Eddie is right back with a suicide dive. Back up and Fantasma scores with one of his own but still can’t put Eddie away. The tiger driver gives Eddie two more but the Boston Knee Party is blocked by a dropkick. Fantasma heads up again but misses whatever he was trying, setting up the Boston Knee Party. Die Hart Flowsion retains the title at 9:54.

Rating: B. Good, hard hitting match here with Eddie showing how good he really can be. That being said, I’d still love an actual story for some of these bigger matches. Having the GHC Title defended here is fine, but could we have a reason someone wants to face Eddie other than it’s a title?

OVE/Sami Callihan vs. Phil Atlas/Marcus Burke/Ray Steele

The lights are way down now to hide the small crowd. Sami charges right at Atlas to start and it’s a triple kick to the head in the corner. It’s off to Steele who eats a triple boot to the face, followed by Sami putting him in an electric chair. Dave does the same to Jake, who grabs Steele in a cutter for the pin at 1:54.

Post match here’s LAX to keep the fight going. The beating is on and OVE and Sami bail after getting beaten down. So it really was a double turn.

Global Forged winner Hakim Zane tries to talk but Johnny Impact runs in to say he’s coming for Alberto.

From Border City Wrestling in Windsor, Ontario, Canada.

Allie vs. KC Spinelli

Spinelli gets in a few shots to start but Allie speeds things up to send her into the corner. That’s fine with KC, who whips her around the ring without much effort. Allie avoids a charge and a dropkick to the back sends Spinelli into the corner for two. A neckbreaker drops Allie for two more, followed by a fisherman’s suplex for the same.

Not that it matters as Allie grabs a Codebreaker for….just two actually. They’re working a lot harder than I would have expected here. Spinelli misses a moonsault though, allowing Allie to grab a Death Valley driver for the pin at 7:08. Thankfully that means we get to hear her incredibly bubbly music for a nice bonus

Rating: B-. This was much better than I was expecting and I wouldn’t be surprised if Spinelli didn’t get some more bookings out of this. Allie is sch a breath of fresh air to all the serious wrestlers around here and feels more like what Bayley should have been on the main roster. Really nice little match here too.

Alberto tells Johnny Impact to bring it.

Allie is worried about Gail Kim’s big announcement next week. She’s still insanely adorable.

Alberto is sitting down when Johnny Impact DIVES at him, looking almost like a spear. The fight is on in catering with Alberto getting away, only to have Johnny get into a fight with Braxton Sutter of all people. Caleb Konley shows up and fights Sutter instead, leaving Johnny and Alberto to brawl out the door and into the loading area, where a camera just happens to be waiting. Johnny gets in a few more shots until they head inside again with Impact trying some chokes.

Alberto comes back with a wet floor sign as this has been going for over five minutes. After throwing Johnny through a door, Alberto climbs a ladder for no adequately explored reason. With Alberto sitting on top of a restroom, Johnny throws the ladder down….and then climbs up the Pepsi machine to knock Alberto off. Alberto hangs onto the roof until falling down (only a few feet) and security FINALLY grabs him. That’s fine with Johnny, who hits a huge dive, taking out Alberto and security as we go to a break.

Back with the brawl still going as Alberto beats him down some more, only to have it spill into the arena with the fans not sounding pleased. Security comes out for another save attempt and Alberto grabs a mic to say this is his company. He calls Johnny a crazy guy and security actually holds Johnny back for a change. Alberto rips on the company for holding him back and screwing him but he’s willing to continue the battle in the ring.

Security lets Johnny get in and Alberto bails, only to have Johnny say Alberto calls himself the pride of Mexico but he’s not even the pride of his own father. The fight is on again with security taking another beating until Alberto gets in a cheap shot. A DDT plants Johnny and Alberto tells security to get out of here if they want to get paid tonight. The cross armbreaker over the ropes has Johnny screaming until the referees break it up to end the show after SEVENTEEN MINUTES between these two.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a really tricky one to grade. For one thing, the wrestling tonight was quite good. The title match was solid, the women’s match was a nice surprise and the fifteen minute X-Division match worked very well. What didn’t work for me though was how little we seemed to actually have move forward. LAX vs. OVE is still going, Impact vs. Alberto is likely going to include Drake soon and be a continuation of the World Title feud from the last month and a half and the X-Division is still about the same.

What’s getting on my nerves is how much time they have to spend on stuff other than Impact Wrestling. Allie vs. Spinelli was good, but how many of those matches from outside the company are going to be? It’s obviously them filling in as much time as they can with their limited content, but when they do it over and over again, it gets a little annoying. Throw in the brawl that went longer than any match and it really does feel like they’re just trying to fill in the show without having actual wrestling, which is rarely a good sign.

That being said, I’ll take a show with some good matches and a lot of energy over the boring, dull, mostly unnecessary TV shows we’ve been having in the last few weeks. At least we had some good matches this time around and that’s a lot more than I’ve been able to say since…..August maybe?

Results

Matt Sydal b. Sonjay Dutt – Shooting star press

Eddie Edwards b. El Hijo de Fantasma – Die Hard Flowsion

OVE/Sami Callihan b. Ray Steele/Phil Atlas/Marcus Burke – Elevated cutter to Burke

Allie b. KC Spinelli – Death Valley Driver

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: August 31, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s officially the Eli Drake Era here and that means the talking is going to get a lot better. Last week Drake became the new World Champion by outlasting most of the roster in Gauntlet for the Gold. Now it’s time to get ready for Bound For Glory and that means starting to set up a card, though they have some time to work with for a change. Let’s get to it.

Chris Adonis and Eli Drake arrive.

In the far more important story though, American Top Team arrives with owner Dan Lambert telling Jeff Jarrett that he doesn’t want any peace with him.

Here are Drake and Adonis for a chat in front of a big zebra print couch. Drake has worked hard for fourteen years and now he has this title. It actually makes him mad because it should have been so much faster. Earlier today, he was at the pool and wound up having a rather nice afternoon with a cougar featuring some nice plastic. He didn’t get much rest today but now he’s here to say that Drake being champion is just a fact of life, no matter who you are.

Cue Johnny Impact to say he’s had more names than Drake has won titles and knows what it takes to become a champion. This brings out Eddie Edwards to say he’s been around here a long time and that means he’s above Johnny on the totem pole. They both want shots and Johnny is willing to fight to earn his.

Cue Jim Cornette to make a tag match between the four of them for tonight. If Drake gets the pinfall, he doesn’t have to defend against any of them. If any of the other three gets the fall though, they get the shot. Of note here: Cornette came out, talked about how hot the title hunt was, made the match and was done in less than 75 seconds. Now that’s how this kind of stuff should be.

Allie comes up to ask Taryn Terrell why she was so mean to Gail Kim. Taryn: “You re so f’ing annoying!” Allie gets punched in the face and slammed into a wall with Taryn saying to make sure Gail gets the message.

Mario Bokara/Fallah Bahh vs. OVE

Bokara gets caught in the wrong corner and a swinging neckbreaker gives Jake two. We see LAX watching from their clubhouse. Bahh comes in and runs Jake over but misses the legdrop, leaving Mario to take a double kick in the corner. Dave comes in for a Doomsday Device with a cutter instead of a clothesline for the pin on Bokara at 2:52. Another squash.

Moose is in Cornette’s office where Jim tells him that he’ll be on TripleMania in Mexico (which has already taken place), along with Lashley, who is looking for him. Ethan Carter III comes in to ask why he’s not on TripleMania but Cornette says he’s got a Grand Championship defense. Ethan: “I didn’t know about that.” Cornette: “Oh you didn’t know?” Ethan: “No I didn’t know.” Cornette and Moose: “Your A** BETTER CALL SOMEBODY!”

Caleb Konley vs. Petey Williams

This is Petey’s first singles match on the show in eight years. Don’t care? Well neither do I, but they’ve mentioned it three times now so it must be a big deal. Konley has Trevor Lee with him. Petey headscissors him over a few times but gets distracted by Trevor, allowing Konley to legsweep him down.

Petey gets beaten down and sent hard into the corner for two. A Russian legsweep into a crucifix gives Petey two and he avoids a moonsault for good measure. Lee gets on the apron to break up the Canadian Destroyer though, sending Petey over the top for a slingshot hurricanrana to take Trevor down. A slingshot Codebreaker sets up the Destroyer to give Petey the pin at 5:54.

Rating: C. So…..Petey Williams is back. I’m not sure why this is supposed to be a big deal but that’s exactly what we got. The match was fine but nothing we haven’t seen, including all of Petey’s big spots. The division can use the extra talent, though Williams isn’t someone I’ve thought of since he left.

Sonjay Dutt saves Petey from a post-match beatdown.

Richard Justice has a match tonight.

Karen Jarrett yells at Taryn for attacking Allie and makes Taryn/Sienna vs. Allie/Gail. She might even throw in some stipulations when we get to the match. Karen is just so forced in this role.

Richard Justice vs. Kongo Kong

The top rope splash ends Justice at 51 seconds.

Mahabali Shera comes out to save Justice from a post match beating.

Johnny Impact is ready to take Eli Drake’s gravy train to Slam Town.

Konnan tells Low Ki to send James Storm to the hospital.

James Storm vs. Low Ki

This is Storm’s first match since Slammiversary. Ki knocks him into the ropes to start so LAX can get in some cheap shots from the floor. Some right hands in the corner set up the same result and it’s off to a seated abdominal stretch on Storm. James fights up with a running enziguri and a running neckbreaker.

The Eye of the Storm is countered so Storm tries a catapult, only to get caught with a middle rope Warrior’s Way for two. A second attempt at the Eye of the Storm doesn’t work either but Ki misses the real Warrior’s Way. Now the Eye of the Storm gets two but LAX offers a distraction. The Last Call looks to finish Ki, only to have Santana come in with a belt shot. Ki adds the Warrior’s Way for the pin at 9:20.

Rating: B-. Good match but sweet goodness I do not care about Ki or LAX in general. They’re not interesting in any way and that makes for some dull moments. At least they’re not the focus though and this midcard role is WAY better for them than as the top heels in the company. Assuming Alberto doesn’t come back as their top star in November, I’m fine with them where they are.

Allie is telling Braxton Sutter about what happened when Garza Jr. comes up to check on her. Sutter doesn’t like it and tells him to get out.

Jim Cornette recaps the Lashley/American Top Team stuff, which is mainly a way to show Karen screeching a lot.

Pagano is coming.

Joseph Park goes over Grado and Laurel Van Ness’ wedding checklist. Park’s uncle Tobias is going to be DJ and he’s one of the best in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Laurel’s family is coming down from Canada and Park panics. It’s about time they got to that detail.

Taya Valkyrie is coming.

Lashley hasn’t made a decision on his future yet but he’s ready to go to TripleMania and clean house.

Eli Drake/Chris Adonis vs. Johnny Impact/Eddie Edwards

If Johnny or Eddie get the pin, they’re #1 contender. I’m going to assume there’s something else after this as the bell rang at 9:30. Eddie chops Adonis to start before it’s off to Johnny for a headlock. Drake comes in and runs from an Impact kick to the face. Instead it’s back to Adonis who eats a standing shooting star for two.

Everything breaks down and the Shot of Caffeine drops Drake, followed by a running corkscrew dive to drop Adonis as we take a break. Back with Johnny’s breakdancing legdrop getting two on Drake. Impact gets taken into the wrong corner for a beating as the announcers keep name dropping MMA fighters. Not only do most of them not mean anything to me as a casual MMA fan, but if I wanted to watch MMA, I’d be watching that instead.

A double suplex gets two on Impact but he kicks Eli away for the hot tag to Eddie. Some chops and a Blue Thunder Bomb get two on Adonis and we take a break. Back with Adonis grabbing an abdominal stretch on Eddie with some bonus forearms to the ribs. Eddie fights out and brings in Impact to speed things up. Adonis saves Drake from the split legged moonsault and it’s a double Moonlight Drive for two on Drake. Eli throws him into a bearhug from Adonis before forearming Edwards off the apron.

The match just keeps going as Eddie saves Impact from taking another double suplex. Everything breaks down and the Flying Chuck sets up kind of a cartwheel 450 (with the fans counting him down) for another near fall as Adonis makes the save. Eddie dives onto Adonis and Drake for no cover but Eli gets in a low blow to set up the Gravy Train (Eli Drop/White Noise) for the pin at 26:00.

Rating: C-. Well that was long. I have no idea why this needed almost half an hour when it was an average tag match at best. It was completely watchable but that doesn’t mean I need to see that much of it. Drake getting the pin is interesting as he needs a challenger and I kind of like the idea of not going with the obvious for a change.

Post match American Top Team comes out to say these four should be scared to death right now. Cornette comes out and tells Lashley to tell Lambert under control before he goes to TripleMania. That’s not all though as Cornette makes Drake vs. Matt Sydal next week for the title. Matt comes out to stare at Drake to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I really don’t have any feelings about this show whatsoever, save from wanting to weld Karen Jarrett’s mouth shut and ban any mention of mixed martial arts from this show forever. It’s pretty clear that the American Top Team stuff is going to be a major story all the way until Bound For Glory and that’s really not good news.

It’s also not a good sign that the story is completely overshadowing the new World Champion and whatever he’s doing but that’s always been a trope of this company: you have the biggest title in the promotion but then you have the REAL top story above that. Good enough show this week but as always, it’s far from without its big flaws.  Like not knowing when TripleMania aired.  Get that stuff right.

Results

OVE b. Mario Bokara/Fallah Bahh – Top rope cutter to Bokara

Petey Williams b. Caleb Konley – Canadian Destroyer

Kongo Kong b. Richard Justice – Top rope splash

Low Ki b. James Storm – Warrior’s Way

Eli Drake/Chris Adonis b. Johnny Impact/Eddie Edwards – Gravy Train to Edwards

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: July 20, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

So it seems we’re still on Alberto El Patron vs. Bobby Lashley after Lashley abandoned El Patron to the hands of LAX last week. This feud has been going on for months now and it’s apparently continuing as there’s no one else to put into the main event scene. Some new names need to be added to the title picture too as it’s getting rather tiresome. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of LAX recruiting Alberto El Patron, including last week’s tag match with Alberto and Lashley picking up the win, only to have Lashley abandon Alberto after the match.

Video on Sammy Guevara, who is young and rather braggadocios. He’s here because he’s one of the best in the world and is ready to win this tournament and move on to the X-Division Title.

Video on Drago, who talks about being from another world and is ready to win as well.

Super X Cup First Round: Drago vs. Sammy Guevara

They speed things up to start and neither can hit anything early on. Drago offers a handshake on the standoff but gets slapped in the face instead. Sammy casually backflips over a clothesline and sends Drago outside for a shooting star from the top. Back in and a reverse hurricanrana gives Drago two, followed by the Dragon’s Tail (very twisting rollup) for the same. That’s fine with Sammy who comes back with a 630 for his own near fall. Drago is back up as well and hits a rather sloppy running Blockbuster DDT for the pin at 4:23.

Rating: C+. Fun match, complete lack of selling aside. This was straight out of the “you do a spot and I do a spot” playbook, which is only going to get you so far. Guevara was a fun heel who plays the bravado quite well. Drago is 41 years old and looks about half that age but it makes sense to push him on given his status with Ring of Honor.

Some GFW wrestlers went to a children’s camp for charity. Nothing wrong with that.

Sienna vs. Amber Nova

Non-title. Nova goes at her to start but gets sent into the corner, followed by a wheelbarrow suplex. A delayed vertical suplex is broken up but the AK47 puts Nova away at 1:26. Total squash.

Post match Sienna mocks Rosemary for being a loser and calls out Karen Jarrett. Sienna wants her to get on her knees and calls Sienna the greatest Knockout of all time. Karen doesn’t think so but Sienna says she just told her to. Allie makes the save with a kendo stick but Laurel Van Ness comes in and beats Allie down. Rosemary comes out for the real save. That goes badly as well but Karen pulls Sienna off. Cue Gail Kim to clean house because that’s what Kim does. Karen makes a Last Knockout Standing match between Rosemary and Sienna for the title next week.

Earlier this week, LAX kidnapped Alberto’s brother to get Alberto to join LAX.

Video on Hijo de Fantasma.

Bruce Prichard (Did the whole “Where’s Bruce” thing from Slammiversary ever go anywhere?) is in the back and runs into Trevor Lee. Bruce wants to know what’s up with the X-Division Title when Sonjay Dutt comes in and tries to get the title back. Security takes him away, which Lee says proves he’s the better champion. Bruce seems to agree.

Idris Abraham/Demus/Trevor Lee vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr./Octagoncito

Lucha rules. Idris and Garza don’t do anything to start so it’s off to the minis for a headscissors to send Demus outside. Garza dives on the other villains and we take a break. Back with Lee, who is wearing the X-Division Title, working on Octagoncito until a headscissors puts him down.

The hot tag brings in Garza Jr. and we remove the pants. They hit the floor for the dives, including Laredo Kid getting caught in the ropes and nearly landing on the apron. We hit the Row the Boat spot (it didn’t work in WCW and it’s not working here), followed by Laredo hitting a big flip dive to the floor. Back in and Octagoncito gets on Garza’s shoulders while Garza is on the middle rope for a huge splash onto Abraham for the pin at 10:24.

Rating: C. Botches aside, this was a fun match but the problem here is the time. A lot of the roster barely has time to get on the roster week to week but this is getting more than twice the time that the Super X Cup, which is actually for something, received. Both matches were fun but shouldn’t those times be reversed?

It’s time for Grado to go on a date with Laurel Van Ness He ate the chocolates and drank the champagne but he’s got coupons! The date is backstage and they’re in their gear with Grado tucking his napkin into his singlet. Laurel’s eating scares Grado’s appetite away.

LAX has kidnapped Alberto’s father to try to get Alberto to join as well.

Hijo de Fantasma vs. Matt Sydal vs. Low Ki

One fall to a finish. Sydal takes over to start until Fantasma spinwheel kicks him down. Ki sends Sydal outside but winds up limping a bit to slow him back down. Fantasma kicks Ki in the face to knock him off the top rope and out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Sydal hitting a standing moonsault on Ki but getting caught in a surfboard from Fantasma.

Ki breaks it up with the Warrior’s Way but the knee is too banged up to cover. Instead Sydal just falls onto Fantasma for two. The Ki Krusher is broken up so Sydal is sent into the corner again. The regular Warrior’s Way hits Fantasma but Sydal breaks it up with the shooting star press for the pin on Fantasma at 13:57.

Rating: C. Now they’re going overboard with the X-Division stuff. This is the third match out of four that has been built around the division and they’re starting to run together. Sydal is starting to go somewhere and it’s nice to see them pushing someone fresh in the division, but there’s so much other stuff going on that it’s starting to get lost in the shuffle.

Post match Sydal calls out Prichard and asks for a title shot. Cue Lashley of all people but Sydal says no one wants to hear it because this is his time to ask for a title shot. Lashley spears him down and says that’s only a start.

Back to the date with Laurel getting a bit too close to Grado, who keeps reminding himself about the citizenship.

Eddie Edwards vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Moose vs. Eli Drake

Before the match, the Swoll Mates chase off Chris Adonis. It’s a brawl to start with Eddie hitting a suicide dive onto Drake, who is then taken down again by Moose’s spinning high crossbody. Drake is right back up to send Moose outside and it’s time to double team Eddie. As you might expect, Drake and Carter get in an argument so Moose comes back in to throw them outside.

That’s not enough throwing as he tosses Edwards onto them as well. Eddie hurricanranas Carter back inside but has to deal with Drake, allowing Ethan to send him into the post. There’s the 1%er to Edwards but Moose pulls Carter outside, allowing Drake to steal the pin at 6:23.

Rating: C-. Another match with little structure that seemed to exist for the sake of fitting in as many people onto the card as they could. The match didn’t have much of a flow to it until the ending, though Eli and Ethan shouting their names at each other was a nice moment. I could go for some story tonight though and this match didn’t give me that.

LAX cuts off the Swoll Mates and asks Alberto’s family if he’s joining the team. Apparently not but Konnan holds the troops back…..and then lets them beat the two of them down.

Post break here’s LAX with Dos Caras as Dos Caras Jr. in the ring. The beat down is on until Konnan threatens Sr.’s mask. This brings Alberto to the stage before he slowly gets inside. He gets in “Carlos’” face and says this is too far for the sake of Mexican pride. Alberto says they’re brothers but if LAX wants him, let his family go. The family is sent outside and Alberto agrees to join the team to keep them save. He puts on the shirt but then beats down LAX to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. If you don’t like the LAX vs. Alberto story, RUN AWAY from this show. Nearly no other story got as much as five minutes on this show and it got a bit tiring watching all these multi-person matches, many of which felt like they barely advanced anything. The wrestling itself helped a lot but there was WAY too much LAX here and it dragged the show down a lot.

Results

Drago b. Sammy Guevara – Blockbuster DDT

Sienna b. Amber Nova – AK47

Garza Jr./Laredo Kid/Octagoncito b. Demus/Idris Abraham/Trevor Lee – Splash to Abraham

Matt Sydal b. Hijo de Fantasma and Low Ki – Shooting star press to Fantasma

Eli Drake b. Ethan Carter III, Eddie Edwards and Moose – 1%er to Edwards

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: June 29, 2017
Location: Film Studio 7, Mumbai, India
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s the last night in India and the go home show for Slammiversary. Most of Sunday’s card is set and tonight we get the hard sell for the show, which will include some contract signings. Also advertised is Rockstar Spud vs. Swoggle in a street fight, and I’m a bit worried about that possibly closing the show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look at what’s coming on Sunday and how important it is. This feels like the pay per view opening instead of the TV opening.

Opening sequence.

Before the show went on the air, we had contract signings for four matches. First up, Sienna called Rosemary dumb for signing up for the match. Sienna said she spits fire while Rosemary spits mist. Rosemary promised to make Sienna sign her death certificate in blood. Next up Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards argued about their wives and how badly they were going to hurt each other.

Third was Ethan Carter III and James Storm nearly coming to blows and then promising to beat each other senseless. Storm got especially fired up and promised to show why he’s been around for fifteen years. The final contract signing saw Lashley sign to face Alberto El Patron. A fight was teased and the table was finally turned over so Bruce Prichard made an eight man tag, albeit with Kongo Kong and Mahabali Shera taking the women’s places.

Video on Sonjay Dutt vs. Low Ki, which would have been better as a way to close out the taping cycle, though I get why they couldn’t with no time to set up the pay per view rematch.

Sonjay Dutt/Matt Sydal vs. Trevor Lee/Low Ki

Dutt armdrags Lee down to start as the fans are WAY into Sonjay here. Sydal comes in with an armdrag but gets caught in the wrong corner. Of course no one is talking about the match because the announcers are talking about their own match instead. The good guys come back with stereo standing moonsaults and we take a break.

Back with Low Ki stomping on Sydal’s chest and the announcers talking about the Knockouts. When that goes nowhere, they start name dropping former announcers. Sydal gets in a few kicks to set up the tag to Dutt. A tornado DDT drops Lee and it’s time for the showdown with Low Ki.

That goes on for all of five seconds before it’s back to Sydal or the top rope knees. A jumping kick to Lee’s head looks to set up the shooting star but Low Ki makes the save. That save doesn’t quite work though as Sydal hits the shooting star for the pin at 13:38. That was quite the unnecessary shooting star as Lee didn’t move for about a minute straight after the kick to the head but you need your flippy bits in there.

Rating: C. Slightly better than the usual X match here and they’ve done a good job of setting up the rematch on Sunday. Having the other two guys who don’t have a match doing the finish was a smart move to keep the other guys safe going into the title match. This did its job and that’s all you can ask for most of the time.

Video on DeAngelo Williams’ training.

Eli Drake/Chris Adonis vs. Mumbai Cats

The Cats are masked men in loud gear. Cat #1 gets knocked into the corner and hammered down with the variety of offense you would expect here. The Eli Drop (White Noise) ends #1 at 2:59. Total squash.

King Mo will be in Lashley’s corner on Sunday. I don’t know why I’m supposed to care either.

Rockstar Spud vs. Swoggle

Mumbai street fight with a short Bollywood actor as referee and they’re already in the comedy spots before I can finish typing this sentence. Swoggle throws nuts and powder at Spud’s face but Spud hits him with a trashcan. A table is set up at ringside and Spud punches him into the corner. Instead of following up though, he grabs a mic and starts talking trash about how everyone hates Swoggle.

The big deal though: he MEANT to pull Swoggle’s pants down. Spud shoves the referee down but gets shoved back, resulting in the referee losing his own pants. Naturally Spud loses his pants too but Swoggle actually manages to pick him up for a Doomsday Device. A Samoan drop through the table gives Swoggle the pin at 6:15.

Rating: D. This is a good example of “not for me”. I’m not big on comedy matches like this one where they beat you over the head with the joke, but at least it didn’t close the show (it was the last thing taped). They didn’t give it much time either and while I didn’t fine it funny, it could have been much worse.

JB and Joseph Park finish their training and Park comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around him. Before JB leaves, he hands Park an Abyss figure and tells him to find the inner monster. So wait: we’re getting Abyss at Slammiversary after spending OVER A MONTH dealing with Park? I mean, it’s not exactly a surprise but I’ve been miserable with this feud since the beginning so messing with it in any way was going to get under my skin.

Alberto El Patron is happy that his father will be at Slammiversary.

Sienna/Laurel Van Ness/KM vs. Allie/Rosemary/Braxton Sutter

Allie goes after Laurel to start and it’s quickly off to the men with Sutter hammering away in the corner. A full nelson slam drops Braxton but he gets in a suplex into the corner for a breather. Rosemary and Laurel come back in with Van Ness getting suplexed down for two as everything breaks down. Laurel hits an Unprettier on Sienna but Allie gets in a Death Valley Driver. Rosemary mists Laurel and Allie hits Sienna with a Codebreaker. The Red Wedding (bad one) ends Laurel at 4:00.

Rating: D. No time to go anywhere here though at least Rosemary gets some momentum going into the pay per view. I don’t know why Allie/Braxton vs. KM/Laurel isn’t on the pay per view but we certainly have time for the battling announcers match. It’s not like the women would draw special money, but are the announcers going to either? Putting in the actual wrestlers instead of the “special” attractions might be an idea, though around here that doesn’t have the best luck of going anywhere.

Rosemary pats Allie on the head.

Park finds his inner monster and pulls out Janice.

We run down the pay per view card. There’s still nothing on there that gets me overly interested and that’s not good.

Video on Lashley vs. Alberto. This is a much longer version and shows the build to the match, including their first match where Alberto won the title.

Alberto El Patron/Eddie Edwards/James Storm/Mahabali Shera vs. Lashley/Davey Richards/Ethan Carter III/Kongo Kong

Before the match, the heels jump Shera and lay him out, making this a handicap match to start. Lashley gets caught in the wrong corner early on and Storm gets two off an elbow to the jaw. A side slam drops Eddie Edwards and it’s off to Carter, who gets the skin chopped off his chest a few seconds in.

El Patron comes in and catches Carter in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. That’s about it for the offense though and it’s Kong coming in for the fat man offense. The fast tags continue with Davey kneeing James in the face and quickly bringing Ethan back in. A Sling Blade (way too common of a move anymore) drops Carter for no cover and we take a break.

Back with Eddie in trouble and Davey grabbing a bodyscissors. It’s off to Kong who almost gives up the tag, only to have his partners pull Alberto and company off the apron in a smart move that always works. Eddie hurricanranas Davey and James at the same time and here’s Shera to take the hot tag. Lashley takes an AA and a slam plants Kong for two. Alberto tags himself in and takes out Lashley’s leg before hitting the top rope double stomp for the pin on Kong at 19:03.

Rating: B-. Totally by the book tag match here and that’s all it needed to be. Kong taking the fall was the right move and they even got Shera out there for the big save in a nice move. They’re still keeping Alberto and Lashley apart more often than not but they need to deliver in the main event. I’m sure it’s going to be good but it needs to be a bit more than that after all the build.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t the best from top to bottom but this show did a perfectly acceptable job of setting up the pay per view. Aside from the Tag Team Title match, everything got a little time and the show looks passable on paper. Again though, nothing really stands out and that battling announcers match has the potential to be an outright disaster.

That’s it for the India tapings and……they exist. Most of the time I forgot they were even in India as the shows didn’t really feel like anything different. The Sonjay Dutt title win was easily the best thing about them as it was an easy story that was done exactly as it was supposed to be. Other than that and the abundance of Shera, nothing on here really felt like anything you wouldn’t see at the Impact Zone. Much like a lot of the other stuff in Impact, they weren’t bad but they’re forgettable, which is often a lot worse.

Results

Sonjay Dutt/Matt Sydal b. Low Ki/Trevor Lee – Shooting star press to Lee

Eli Drake/Chris Adonis b. Mumbai Cats – Eli Drop to Cat #1

Swoggle b. Rockstar Spud – Samoan drop through a table

Allie/Rosemary/Braxton Sutter b. KM/Laurel Van Ness/Sienna – Red Wedding to Van Ness

Alberto El Patron/Eddie Edwards/Mahabali Shera/James Storm b. Ethan Carter III/Davey Richards/Lashley/Kongo Kong – Top rope double stomp to Kong

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: May 11, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re back in the Impact Zone where the main event is over another promotion’s title. I know GFW and Impact have officially merged so it’s not as odd as it sounds but there’s something weird about the Global Force Wrestling World Title match main eventing Impact Wrestling. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Alberto El Patron beating Eli Drake to earn a shot at the GFW World Title tonight. Magnus is ready.

Opening sequence.

Andrew Everett vs. Caleb Konley vs. Dezmond Xavier vs. Matt Sydal

One fall to a finish. They start with the rapid fire near falls via sunset flips and rollups until Konley and Sydal put on stereo submissions. Neither of those go anywhere so Sydal drops a standing leg on Konley and gives Xavier a jawbreaker at the same time. Konley comes right back with a moonsault for two on Everett with Matt making a save. That’s enough of the wrestling so Everett and Xavier hit back to back dives onto everyone else. Back in and Konley hits a belly to back fisherman’s suplex (that’s a new one) for two on Sydal, only to have Everett grab the Frankendriver for the pin on Xavier at 6:24.

Rating: C. Starting the show with a match is the right call and I’m glad that they’re actually having Everett keep some of the pace instead of just having him lose and more on the next challenger. That’s how you build a division instead of just a champion and a challenger, which should help things a lot.

JB pesters Josh again.

Ethan Carter III promises that we’ll see the Cowboy tonight. I smell an impression.

KM orders a pizza and says his name is Billy. He takes the pizza from the delivery guy and starts eating but refuses to pay. The delivery guy says the bill says Billy but KM says that’s not his name. KM doesn’t like being called a liar and throws the guy out.

Here’s EC3 now dressed as a rather goofy cowboy. He talks about being a SOB from Boca Raton, Florida but sounds more like Waylon Mercy. Carter rode up on his steed Sebastian and sings a modified version of Friends in Low Places. Cue the real Storm for the beatdown but Carter takes off a boot and hits him in the head. Carter manages to handcuff him to the ropes and give him a whipping with a belt. Sounds like a strap match. The beating goes on for a good while with security taking their sweet time breaking it up.

JB annoys Josh again.

Hakim Zane/Idris Abraham vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr.

Zane wristlocks Kid to start but Laredo puts him on his shoulders for a missile dropkick from Garza. Things speed up with Idris running the ropes until he floors Garza (who has removed his red pants for some reason) with a hard shoulder. Idris’ charge is countered with a powerbomb onto his partner though Zane is sent to the floor. A 450 gives Laredo the pin at 3:26.

Rating: C-. Sloppy match but they kept things moving fast enough to make this work. Kid and Garza are fine for your run of the mill lucha team and there’s always going to be room for something like that. Abraham and Zane looked good too though and with another tournament coming up for the GFW Tag Team Titles (which can’t just stay vacant and then disappear), it’s nice to actually set something up.

D’Angelo Dinero wants to make Impact great.

Ava Storie vs. Laurel Van Ness

This company doesn’t have a great mental health policy does it? Van Ness is still in the wedding dress and gets two off an early spear. A kick to the face and a running curb stomp is enough for the pin on Storie at 1:36.

Spud still wants to hurt Swoggle.

Here’s LAX, some of whom are sporting white face paint, for a Decay funeral. Konnan wants to show their disrespect and tells the champs to pour the ashes on the mat. This company threw their best team at LAX and now you have a dead clown and a monster eating through a feeding tube. Now it’s time for LAX to win the GFW Tag Team Titles for the sake of Latino pride. A fan waves an American flag and refuses to sit down. Cue the Veterans of War for the save, which is the only logical way to go. A fireman’s carry flapjack into a cutter plants Ortiz and LAX runs. Good segment.

Grand Championship: Marshe Rockett vs. Moose

Moose is defending but Rockett jumps him to start and hits a Harlem side kick for no cover. A dropkick knocks Marshe off the top though and Rockett chills on the floor for the rest of the round. Moose wins the first round and wastes no time, finishing Rockett with the sitout chokeslam at 35 seconds of the second round.

Rating: D. As usual, I have no idea what the rounds are supposed to add here. Moose could just as easily have hit the says thing for a win in about four minutes and I don’t get how a brief break changes anything. Moose dominated most of the match and won clean so what’s the point of the gimmick with the rounds?

Post match Tyrus comes out for a distraction, allowing Eli Drake to come in with some chair shots to Moose. Chris Adonis runs in for the Adonis Lock and more chair shots from Drake leave Moose laying.

More JB and Josh.

Dutch Mantel announces the return of Ultimate X between Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Low Ki for the title next week. This would feel like more of a surprise if the Ultimate X wasn’t above the ring.

Angelina Love vs. Alisha Edwards

Eddie Edwards is in his wife’s corner on crutches. Alisha charges at Love to start and we hear more about JB annoying Josh. Angelina’s comeback is cut off by a Futureshock but Davey Richards gets on the apron. That’s fine with Alisha who kicks the ropes between his legs, only to have Angelina hit Edwards in the back with a chain for the DQ at 2:32.

Eddie goes after Angelina but Davey crutches him in the knee.

Lashley will be watching the main event.

GFW World Title: Alberto El Patron vs. Magnus

Alberto is challenging and seems to have the fans behind him. An early armbreaker across the top rope has Magnus reeling and a clothesline makes things even worse. Magnus grabs a suplex and kicks away a bit as the champ is playing the de facto heel here. The back and forth continues with Patron hitting a top rope right hand to the jaw and grabbing a chinlock.

They fight to the top and both guys are knocked out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Alberto in control until he walks into a Falcon Arrow (not a sitout powerslam Josh) for two. Josh rants about Jim Ross tweeting him about how awesome he is and complains about JB some more as the guys head outside for nothing of note.

Back in and the Backstabber sets up the armbreaker on Magnus but the champ gets a rope. The Cloverleaf sends Patron to the rope as well and they head up top again. Alberto misses his top rope double stomp and hurts his knee. Magnus gets in a powerbomb but gets pulled down into the armbreaker for the submission at 18:23.

Rating: B. This felt like a main event match but the same problem persists: these two guys weren’t even in the company three months ago and they’re fighting over a title from a promotion that probably hasn’t even held thirty shows in the three years since it was founded (including all the co-promoted ones). Just drop the GFW stuff and let the Impact title be what matters.

That being said, this was quite the main event as they’ve really turned up the focus on the wrestling as of late. It’s not a classic or anything but I had a good time with it and the battle of the submission holds made it feel like a chess match. El Patron winning makes the most sense and should set up a rematch with Lashley at Slammiversary, which makes the most sense.

Overall Rating: C-. Not the best rating but they’re certainly moving in the right direction. The wrestling is getting better and the stories are getting tighter. That doesn’t mean the stories are great (or even good at times) but I’ll take a focused direction over random chaos almost any day. If they can knock off some of the nonsense (Josh vs. JB, Swoggle vs. Spud, the GFW stuff), they could be in a very good place in a hurry.

Results

Andrew Everett b. Caleb Konley, Dezmond Xavier and Matt Sydal – Frankendriver to Xavier

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. b. Idris Abraham/Hakim Zane – 450 splash to Abraham

Laurel Van Ness b. Ava Storie – Curb stomp

Moose b. Marshe Rockett – Sitout chokeslam

Alisha Edwards b. Angelina Love via DQ when Love used a chain

Alberto El Patron b. Magnus – Cross armbreaker

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: May 4, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re starting to get close to Slammiversary and that means we need to start lining up some title matches. There isn’t a lot announced for this week’s show as things are moving at a somewhat slow pace right now. Then again we have about two months before the next pay per view so they can take their time. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week. Thank goodness as I had to pull up last week’s review to remember anything about that show.

Opening sequence.

Dave Penzer is now doing ring announcing, which hopefully means the Swoggle vs. Spud is done.

Matt Sydal vs. Eddie Edwards

Josh says Sydal made his debut in the six sided ring last week, which means Josh doesn’t know his TNA history. Feeling out process to start with a technical sequence leading to a standoff. Sydal gets in a few kicks to the legs for the first advantage before countering a slam off the top with an ankle scissors. Now why didn’t Flair ever think of that? Eddie elbows his way out of a Muta Lock and grabs a Blue Thunder Bomb for two.

A sitout F5 sets up a spinwheel kick but Eddie can’t follow up. Matt hurricanranas him off the top for two but gets sent outside for the suicide dive. Back from a break with Sydal getting two off a powerbomb, only to get caught with a middle rope Codebreaker. As good as this has been, let’s pause for Josh to rant about JB a bit. Eddie slips out of a powerbomb but the Boston Knee Party is blocked with a jumping knee to the face. The shooting star press gives Matt the clean pin at 14:51.

Rating: B+. Where in the world did that come from? This was one of the best matches the company has put on in a long time and even Josh couldn’t make ruin it for me. Eddie losing clean aside, it’s cool to see a very good, long, clean match, especially opening a show. Good stuff here and Sydal looks like a star coming out of it.

They shake hands post match. Sydal leaves but here are Angelina Love and Davey Richards to beat Edwards down. Eddie gets laid out with a chair until Alisha dives off the stage to take Angelina down.

Magnus thinks he should be in the main event of Slammiversary but now he has to face Alberto El Patron. If that’s what he has to do then so be it, but here’s Matt Morgan to say he should get the shot. Bruce Prichard comes in and makes a GFW Title match for later tonight.

KM is exercising when a custodian comes in to clean. He sweeps up trash and leaves but KM throws a piece of paper on the floor and yells at the guy for missing it. KM does it again and the custodian says it wasn’t there ten seconds ago. That doesn’t sit well with KM, who doesn’t like being called a liar.

GFW Women’s Title: Sienna vs. Christina Von Eerie

Von Eerie is defending. Sienna grabs a suplex for two to start and Von Eerie is in trouble early on. Another suplex sets up a neck crank and Von Eerie is dumped outside in a big crash. Christina tries a Pedigree on the apron but gets backdropped back onto the floor as this has been completely one sided. Back in and a Pounce completes the squash to give us a new champion at 3:56. The announcers’ biggest concern: Sienna has no respect for the Jarretts.

Rating: D. Here’s the big problem with this whole GFW thing: what is GFW and why should the fans care? Unless you were watching for about four to six weeks worth of shows two years ago, it’s just a collection of belts from a promotion that ran a bunch of house shows and hasn’t been heard from since. I get that the hardcore fans are going to know what’s going on but catering to that audience when you’re drawing 300,000 fans a week and wanting to expand is a really bad idea.

As for the match itself, Von Eerie beat a jobber last week and that’s the grand total of her exposure here until she got squashed to lose her title. Get rid of these belts as soon as possible or just drop them already. It’s clear that Impact Wrestling isn’t going to bother to explain ANY of this so get rid of them as soon as possible.

Eli Drake tells Bruce Prichard he wants in on the title picture. Instead he gets Alberto El Patron later tonight, but it’s for a shot at the GFW Title.

ODB wants to make Impact great.

JB is behind Josh and mocks his over the top mannerisms. This is still your top story.

Karen Jarrett makes Alisha vs. Angelina Love for some point in the future. Sienna comes up to brag about being champion but Karen says the target is on Sienna’s back. I still have no idea why this is supposed to be interesting.

Ethan Carter III vs. John Bolen

Carter kicks him in the face to start and chokes on the ropes. A running knee to the back sends Bolen outside. Back in and the TK3 sets up the 1%er for the pin on Bolen at 2:33.

Carter puts the new bosses on notice.

Remember how JB had a sign earlier? He still does and Josh is getting annoyed.

GFW World Title: Magnus vs. Matt Morgan

Morgan is challenging and uses the size to take over early on. A big boot sends Magnus outside but he posts Morgan for a breather. Back in and the Carbon Footprint misses so Morgan bangs up a leg to give Magnus a target. A kick to the leg sets up the Figure Four with Morgan making the ropes without too much effort.

Morgan pops up for his revolving elbows in the corner, followed by a side slam. A chokeslam gets two on the champ and the Carbon Footprint puts him on the floor. Morgan’s knee gives out so Magnus can grab the title. The distraction lets Magnus get in a low blow, followed by a Michinoku Driver and the top rope elbow to retain at 9:20.

Rating: C. Technically fine, though I’m not sure if that was a heel turn from Magnus. That right there is the big problem: these guys have had maybe a match each since returning and we really don’t know anything about them. Yeah they were here before but what are they now? They helped JB in his match so I guess they’re faces but there’s no real way to know for sure, especially given how they’re fighting over a title that just appeared with Magnus. Decent match but the booking continues to be a problem.

Lashley doesn’t care about the GFW Title because that’s the title people can win.

More JB sign stuff.

LAX wants to hurt more people.

James Storm wants to make Impact great.

Spud, in a neck brace and with his leg in a cast, stares at a picture of Swoggle. So yes this is still going. So now we have a ring announcer feud to go with the commentator feud.

Kongo Kong vs. William Weeks

Kong throws him into the corner to start and stands on Weeks’ chest. Three straight chokeslams into backbreakers (at Laurel Van Ness’ orders) set up a Cannonball and a top rope splash to put Weeks away at 2:47.

Post match Braxton Sutter comes out to go after Kong. Some right hands and a clothesline put the monster on the floor so Sutter and Allie can stand tall.

Eli Drake wants to make Impact great.

We look back at Sonjay Dutt getting hurt in the X-Division Title match two weeks ago. Dutt isn’t sure if he should have come back. If they don’t give him the title at Slammiversary, I have no idea what they’re thinking. It’s not the most interesting story but they’ve set it up.

Eli Drake vs. Alberto El Patron

The winner gets a shot at Magnus at some point in the future. Drake runs away but gets pulled back to ringside, where the referee ejects Tyrus. Eli is fine enough to suplex him on the ramp but Alberto shakes it off and hits a suicide dive. Back from a break with Drake suplexing him onto the apron and choking on the floor.

Drake’s chinlock doesn’t work but Alberto misses a charge and both people are down. Drake gets back up and grabs a torture rack neckbreaker for a close two, only to have Alberto nail a low superkick for the same. The cross armbreaker is countered into a twisting throw for another near fall as this is far more competitive than I was expecting.

Drake can’t get a superplex and of course he winds up in the Tree of Woe. For once someone is actually smart enough to sit up and pull El Patron down. A springboard moonsault gives Drake two but he gets caught in the cross armbreaker. That’s countered as well but Drake gets caught in the ropes, setting up the double stomp (from the mat instead of the stomp) to give Alberto the pin at 17:56.

Rating: B-. Good match here as Drake’s in-ring abilities are starting to match his incredible talking skills. The same problem still remains though: they’re fighting over titles that have no meaning to the Impact Wrestling fans, which becomes a problem. The story would be exactly the same if they were all just fighting for a shot at Lashley. Just say Magnus is in this spot because he’s a former World Champion and thinks he’s entitled. It’s the same story advancement and the same ending. Why is that so complicated?

Overall Rating: C+. This is a REALLY tricky one to grade as the opener and main events were both very good but everything in the middle was just there for the most part. The booking continues to cater to the fans who are already here and the stupid battling announcers are now being joined by a former wrestler/manservant vs. a former leprechaun who is the illegitimate son of the owner the biggest wrestling company in the world. You need a lot more than that to make a company work and Impact really doesn’t seem to get that.

Results

Matt Sydal b. Eddie Edwards – Shooting star press

Sienna b. Christina Von Eerie – Pounce
Ethan Carter III b. John Bolen – 1%er

Magnus b. Matt Morgan – Top rope elbow

Kongo Kong b. William Weeks – Top rope splash

Alberto El Patron b. Eli Drake – Double stomp

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 6, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Jeremy Borash

We’re past Wrestlemania so it’s time for the real Orlando wrestlers to take their city back. Last week’s show focused on a wide variety of stories, which helped set up a lot of this week’s material. Tonight we have a gauntlet match for the #1 contendership to the Knockouts Title plus a last man standing match between Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Eli Drake vs. Caleb Konley

This starts immediately after the opening sequence with no entrances. Drake sends him outside for a cheap shot from Tyrus, followed by some right hands from Eli back inside. A neckbreaker out of the corner gives Eli two but Caleb comes right back with a rolling palm strike. That actually sends Drake outside for a suicide dive, followed by a high crossbody for no cover. Caleb goes up but Tyrus offers a distraction, allowing Drake to hit White Noise for the pin at 4:05.

Rating: D+. I’m very glad Drake has a better finisher as no one was going to buy a knee lift and clothesline for someone who is supposed to be climbing the card. Drake seems to be just a few months away from rocketing towards the main event (or at least he should be) and changing finishers was the right call. Not the worst match here and it’s a rare instance of just a match to put someone over.

Josh and JB bicker AGAIN, this time focusing on Josh calling JB ugly. Bruce Prichard comes down and demands that Josh and JB get in the ring. Josh: “I’m sorry I said I wished you were dead!” Bruce says everyone is sick of hearing from these guys so he’s got a solution. They’re both going to pick a team and we’ll see who knows the most. I hope that means the loser is off commentary.

Gauntlet Match

This is basically a Royal Rumble with the final two having a regular match where the winner gets a future title shot. Ava Storie is in at #1 and Madison Rayne is in at #2, complete with the Killer Queen song. That goes nowhere so after the first one minute interval, Rebel is in at #3. Storie runs them both over with a double clothesline and Amanda Rodriguez is in at #4.

The two newcomers slug it out with no one even attempting an elimination. M.J. Jenkins is in at #5 as the announcers just act like we should know who all these new people are. Diamante from LAX is in at #6 and Rodriguez is the first one eliminated. ODB is in at #7 and sends the other five into the corner for a huge splash.

Storie is put out after a pretty solid performance and Brandi Rhodes completes the field at #8. Brandi gets rid of Diamante and Jenkins eliminates Rebel. ODB and Brandi double team Jenkins out but Madison tosses Brandi a second later. That leaves ODB vs. Rayne for the title shot and it’s now pin or submission. Not that it lasts long or anything though as ODB hits a quick Bam for the win at 9:21.

Rating: F. Yeah this was horrible and there’s no way around it. I have no idea who half the wrestlers in this match were and commentary would rather talk about Josh being married to Madison than tell us ANYTHING about these people. To be fair though, TNA fans have proven that they’ll watch anything this company presents so they might as well fill the shows with cheap talent.

Here’s James Storm for a chat. During his entrance, Josh says he won a coin toss to determine who gets to make the first pick. So wait: do they get to pick anyone they want or do the people have to agree? Earlier tonight it was implied that the announcers have to pick the teams with JB saying Josh didn’t have enough friends to fill a lineup. Anyway, Storm says the Cowboy is back and it’s time for him to become World Champion again.

Cue Bram and Kingston to rant about Storm lying to them about the DCC. Storm says he picked the music and bought the suits while Kingston was the one begging for a job. Kingston spits in Storm’s face and takes a Last Call. Bram loads up a chair shot but gets stared down. Another Last Call sends the chair into Bram’s face and Storm hits the catchphrase.

Andrew Everett thinks he’s earned an X-Division Title match. Gregory Helms and Trevor Lee come up to say Everett can have a shot if he wins his triple threat tonight.

Andrew Everett vs. Marshe Rockett vs. Suicide

Everett kicks Rockett to the floor as the announcers KEEP GOING about their upcoming tag match before switching over to fantasy baseball. This is the kind of stuff you expect from One Night Only shows. Suicide knocks Andrew to the floor and follows with the falling dive. Back in and Rockett stomps on Everett before powerslamming him out of the air.

Everett sends both of them to the floor again and follows with a corkscrew dive. Suicide grabs something like a Black Widow on Everett as the announcers argue over whether Al Snow should have Pope’s job. A kick sends Suicide to the floor and Everett hits a shooting star for the pin on Rockett at 6:24.

Rating: C. I like the fact that they’re actually building someone up as a challenger for a title match down the line and for once there’s an actual story in this division. I have no confidence in them to follow up on all this stuff but at least we’ve got something brewing for now, which is more than they’ve done in a long time.

Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards

Last Man Standing and Eddie jumps Davey in the aisle. Eddie knocks him into the barricade and follows with two suicide dives as they quickly head into the crowd. Davey gets crotched on a barricade but ducks a dive, sending Eddie crashing into a garbage can for a good looking spot. Richards gets in a few kicks, stops to kiss Angelina Love, and grabs a chair.

Angelina throws in two more chairs with Davey setting the two of them up in the middle. Josh’s response: “I have my third member!” Eddie uses another kiss distraction to powerbomb Davey through the chairs for a six count. Not that it matters as Eddie grabs even more chairs (bringing the total up to at least six) and pelts one at Davey’s head. Eddie piles the chairs up but Angelina grabs the foot, allowing Davey to superplex Edwards onto the pile. We see Eddie’s wife Alisha Edwards in the front row for some trash talk with Angelina.

Back from a break with Davey hitting Eddie in the head with a chain wrapped fist but Alisha’s cheers bring Eddie back to his feet. Rapid fire chops have Davey in trouble and a belly to belly into the corner makes things even worse. A baseball slide sends a chair into Davey’s face and Eddie wraps a chair around Davey’s neck.

The top rope double stomp somehow doesn’t kill Davey so the women get into it, resulting in a chair taking Alisha down. Eddie gets chaired as well so Davey wraps a chain around his foot but stops with second thoughts. Angelina tells him to do it for her and Creeping Death with the chain ends Eddie at 22:43.

Rating: B+. This got the time that it needed and the violence was more than enough to make it work. These two beat the heck out of each other and made it look like they wanted to kill each other. Now the problem is they need to let the feud end here instead of just continuing it for the sake of continuing it, which gets old in a hurry.

We get a video on Veterans of War involving Operation Iraqi Freedom. I believe one of them was Gunner, who is a former member of the military.

JB wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

LAX celebrates their title win.

We look at James Storm updating his theme music in a studio.

Alberto El Patron vs. Jon Bolen

A few kicks have Bolen in trouble but he grabs a powerslam. That’s about it for his offense though as Alberto sends him into the corner for the top rope double stomp and the pin at 1:18.

Post match Alberto calls out Lashley.

Allie/Braxton Sutter and KM/Sienna are getting into it again when Karen Jarrett comes in to break it up. They’ll have a mixed tag next week.

Fury is unleashed next week and has something to do with Sutter and Allie.

Bruce Prichard is out to moderate the picking of the teams, which really is how they’re closing the show. Josh goes first and picks Lashley while JB picks Alberto El Patron. Next up we have Bram for Josh and JB picks Chris Adonis (Masters). There’s nothing in between these picks save for a little arguing here and there. Josh goes with Eli Drake and Tyrus helps Josh’s team beat down the good guys. Matt Morgan comes out for the save and gets in a staredown with Lashley as someone else gets out of a limo. We’re out of time though so go to Impact’s website to find out who the last team member is (it’s Magnus).

Overall Rating: D+. This is a show where one thing really does bring the whole thing down. We had a great gimmick match and some stuff involving the World Title but what closes the show? Bickering announcers. Can you imagine if Cole vs. Lawler closed a show instead of something involving John Cena?

This show also gave a great illustration of the problem with announcers as major characters: it was the main thing we heard about all night long. The stuff in the ring got almost no focus because we had to hear about how great Josh was and how JB didn’t want to hear about it. I’m going to assume Josh winds up being some big heel manager (which wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world) but DANG this story is ruining some good stuff on the show. Big step down from last week here and it’s almost all because of one story.

Results

Eli Drake b. Caleb Konley – White Noise

ODB won a gauntlet match last eliminating Madison Rayne

Andrew Everett b. Marshe Rockett and Suicide – Shooting star press to Rockett

Davey Richards b. Eddie Edwards – Creeping Death with a chain around the boot

Alberto El Patron b. Jon Bolen – Top rope double stomp

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