Impact Wrestling – November 11, 2015: Let Go Of That Pattern

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 11, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re past the halfway point in the qualifying matches as almost everyone has had two of their three matches. Tonight it’s week six and we’re going to have some people wrap up their round robin stuff, meaning we can actually see the light at the end of a very long tunnel. Let’s get to it.

Opening recap and preview of last week and this week.

The announcers preview things as well.

Before their match, we see Madison Rayne going through some WACKY ninja training to get her ready for Gail Kim. I don’t think this needs any more explanation.

Group Knockouts: Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

Winner goes to the round of sixteen. Gail takes her down to the mat to start as Pope makes ninja jokes. A pinfall reversal sequence goes how most pinfall reversal sequences go. Madison sweeps the leg for two but Gail’s cross body gets the same as Josh figures out every possible way to say this is winner take all.

Back from a break with Gail missing her running cross body in the corner and crashing out to the floor to give Madison an opening. For some reason she follows Gail to the floor, only to get sent into the steps to change control. Back in and Gail’s dragon sleeper doesn’t go anywhere so Madison hits a basement cross body for two. Madison tries the Rayne Drop but a quick small package sends Gail to the round of 16 at 11:21.

Rating: C. Raise your hand if you didn’t see this coming the second the brackets were announced. Gail Kim is the greatest Knockout of all time and if you don’t know that, listen to Josh for all of half a second because he’s either sounding like a moron, insulting the fans for paying attention or praising Gail Kim. There’s very little in between for him. Gail winning makes the most sense, though I don’t see her doing much in the tournament itself. It’s a cool idea though.

Group Knockouts

Gail Kim – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Brooke – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Madison Rayne – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Awesome Kong – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

We get an interview with Matt Hardy who says it’s going to be trendy when he sweeps the whole Series and proves that he’s the World Champion once and for all. What better way to prove he’s the best than by beating everyone? Both life and a wrestling career are too short to have regrets and it wasn’t fair to anyone to have EC3 drag it out for years.

It wouldn’t be fair to the fans or TNA (“They might not even be on TV anymore.”) so he gave up the title for the sake of the future. He won’t be taking tonight off against Eddie Edwards because Eddie is the future, but tonight Eddie is the next victim of the Matt Hardy formula. Of course he wants to face EC3 in the finals because he wants to take away that undefeated streak.

Group Future Four: Jesse Godderz vs. Eli Drake

Jesse says he wants to win the title so he can be on a cereal box. Very slow feeling out process to start with Drake’s headlock going nowhere. A test of strength goes to Eli with the help of a knee to the ribs. Jesse’s press slam goes nowhere as his knee buckles and Drake starts in on it to show some intelligence.

Some slow kicks to the knee don’t seem to bother Jesse as he comes back with a backbreaker and enziguri, though he’s nice enough to limp after doing the moves with no issue. They trade rollups with handfuls of trunks for no count each so Drake puts him on the top but gets shoved away. That’s fine with Drake as he crotches Jesse down and puts his feet on the ropes for a pin at 6:51.

Rating: D. Bleh match here between two guys who deserve better. I really like Drake as he knows how to be a jerk as well as anyone I’ve seen in a long time. He’s not perfect by any stretch and his in ring work isn’t anything more than average, but he has a heel charisma that makes you want to see him get punched in the face. That’s more than most heels have these days and it makes for entertaining matches.

Group Future Four

Eli Drake – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Jesse Godderz – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Micah – 1 point (2 matches remaining)

Crimson – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Ethan Carter III is at TNA headquarters (which looks like a local pub) to pay the fine in person.

Drake brags about his win.

It’s time for the World Title Series awards to fill in even more time. Pope picks Matt Hardy as MVP, Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards as Match of the Series, Shera as Most Improved, James Storm as Most Disappointing and Lashley vs. Aries as the Best Match To Come.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Eddie Edwards vs. Matt Hardy

Edwards is eliminated if he loses. Matt takes it to the mat to start before they trade wristlocks. A forearm to the back has Eddie in trouble and we take an early break. Back with Matt being sent to the floor for a suicide dive but Eddie chops the post by mistake. There’s no way to fake something like that. Pope: “My lawd it’s got me checking my fingers daddy!” A Side Effect on the apron is broken up and Eddie DDT’s Matt instead.

Back in and Eddie chops with the bad hand but walks into a double clothesline to put both of them down. Eddie has to break a sleeper by falling back onto Hardy and a Backpack Stunner gets two. The Side Effect and Twist of Fate are countered into rollups for two each and a kick to the head gets the same. Eddie goes up top but gets crotched, setting up a super Twist of Fate (minus the twist) for the pin at 11:05.

Rating: C+. This match continues to show me why I like Eddie so much better than Davey. Richards tends to take things way too seriously and comes off as goofy at times while Eddie feels a lot more natural out there. Matt coming into the round of sixteen undefeated is a nice choice but I’m really hoping it doesn’t wind up with him or Ethan as champion again. It would feel like such a waste of time, which is why it’s likely to happen.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Davey Richards – 1 point (1 match remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 1 point (0 matches remaining)

We look at the end of Bound For Glory with Ethan shoving John Gaburick to draw a huge fine.

Ethan comes in to Dixie’s office and accuses her of robbing him of the title. Dixie asks what happened to him but Ethan pays the fine and leaves. This was described as a “major confrontation” earlier in the night.

Matt praises Eddie for his toughness.

Pope decides whose bubbles are going to pop soon.

Group X-Division: Mandrews vs. DJZ

Mandrews quickly takes him to the floor and moonsaults off the steps, followed by an overshot flip dive over the top to the floor. Back in and Mandrews’ standing moonsault takes WAY too much time to set up, allowing DJZ to kick him away with ease. DJZ cranks on an armbar but walks into a very fast hurricanrana for two. Another hurricanrana out of the corner gets two more and Mandrews gets all ticked off, only to charge into a shot to the face. Mandrews kicks him off the top but a shooting star hits knees, giving DJZ the pin at 5:55.

Rating: C-. I really don’t like Mandrews. He’s the definition of a guy who does a bunch of flips and that doesn’t make for interesting wrestling. DJZ at least has a character instead of just having at stupid name to go with his good to decent ability. I’m glad we’re done with Mandrews now though as he gets on my nerves every time he’s in there.

Group X-Division

Manik – 6 points (1 match remaining)

DJZ – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Tigre Uno – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Mandrews – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Video of Shera training. If they drop the dancing stuff, he might be interesting eventually.

Preview of next week.

Eric Young wants to break Josh Matthews for saying his bubble is about to burst in the tournament, even though Pope said it. Young is ready for James Storm next week.

Pope changes his pick to Young over Storm.

Clips of Micah pinning Crimson.

Group Future Four

Eli Drake – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Micah – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Jesse Godderz – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Crimson – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Ethan Carter III was in India earlier this week and promises to beat Mr. Anderson tonight.

The semi-finals will be in India.

Drew Galloway is in Scotland to prepare for his final match in the group stage.

Another preview of next week.

Video on the history between Mr. Anderson and EC3. As in all those matches where Anderson lost, just like he’s done in every match in the Series so far.

Group Champions: Ethan Carter III vs. Mr. Anderson

They chop it out to start with Anderson getting the better of it and sending Carter to the floor as we take a break. Back with Anderson firing off more chops and pounding Carter in the head as Carter tries to cover up. A quick baseball slide takes Tyrus out and a boot to the face looks to set up the Mic Check.

Carter drives him to the floor to counter, which Pope refers to as dinosaur land. Anderson gets sent into the apron and Carter bends his fingers back for good measure. We hit the chinlock as Pope and Josh compare Anderson and Carter’s upbringings in the business. Anderson fights out with less than five minutes to go and easily wins a slugout.

The Regal roll and a swanton get two on Carter and both guys are tired with two and a half minutes to go. Anderson goes up top and counters a super 1%er into a middle rope Regal roll for two more. Tyrus and Earl Hebner argue on the floor (Tyrus: “YOU’RE TOO OLD!”) so Anderson beats Tyrus up with a chair with a minute left. Hebner gets rid of the chair, allowing Carter to kick Anderson low and grab a jackknife rollup for the pin at 16:24 as TNA’s clock continues to be off.

Rating: C+. Another good match here as Carter can win something when he has to. Anderson losing doesn’t mean anything and you knew that Carter was going to be in the final sixteen and probably the final two. This wasn’t a classic or anything but it was perfectly fine for a big TV main event.

Group Champions

Ethan Carter III – 7 points (0 matches remaining)

Austin Aries – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Lashley – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Mr. Anderson – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Overall Rating: C. Much better episode this week as they’re FINALLY getting to the point with some of this stuff. It’s amazing how much more interesting things are when there’s actually something on the line and we’re not just killing time until we get to the big stuff. It also helps that the tournament itself is starting to take shape and we know some of the people in it. That allows you to actually pick some favorites instead of having so many people to go through that you don’t know where to start. Better show this week as they actually go somewhere instead of just being in a holding pattern for weeks at a time.

Results

Gail Kim b. Madison Rayne – Small package

Eli Drake b. Jesse Godderz – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Matt Hardy b. Eddie Edwards – Super Twist of Fate

DJZ b. Mandrews – Pin after a blocked shooting star press

Ethan Carter III b. Mr. Anderson – Jackknife rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – November 4, 2015: Groundhog Day

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 4, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s Week 5 of the World Title Series and things are starting to come together. You can see a lot of the people who are going to move forward and most of the people who aren’t making it into the field of sixteen. In addition to this, we’re also getting a special interview with Jeff Hardy. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick recap of last week and a preview of tonight’s major matches.

The announcers preview the matches as well.

Preview of the Hardy interview where he talks about breaking his leg.

Group Knockouts: Madison Rayne vs. Brooke

Before the match, Madison talks about how the Knockouts started the revolution nearly ten years ago. Madison goes on to give every must win cliché that you’ve ever heard of because there’s nothing personal in almost any of these matches. It’s a feeling out process to start until Brooke takes over with a dropkick and shoulders. A clothesline out of the corner gets two but Brooke might have hurt her hand. Brooke’s top rope elbow gets two but the Rayne Drop gives Madison the pin at 3:23.

Rating: D+. Decent enough match but which of them am I supposed to want to see win? There’s no reason to boo or cheer either of them because there’s no personal issue here. We have a tied series now so it’s basically a mini elimination tournament, which is probably going to happen in multiple groups, just like everything else does.

Group Knockouts

Brooke – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Gail Kim – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Awesome Kong – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Madison Rayne – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Eric Young says he’s the real original and Roode might not make it to the main event.

Video on Roode vs. Young to set up their match later tonight.

The announcers preview Roode vs. Young.

Group UK: Bram vs. Rockstar Spud

They stand there and look at each other for a bit to start. The fans are entirely behind Spud of course. Some forearms and right hands have Bram in the corner, followed by a couple running forearms. Bram grabs him by the throat but Spud bites him on the hand. Spud knocks him back to the floor but gets caught diving off the apron. Bram starts fish hooking Spud’s mouth before stomping on the ribs back inside. That’s quite the downgrade in offense. A quick enziguri staggers Bram and a rollup gets two. Not that it matters as the Brighter Side of Suffering puts Spud away at 5:38.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but I was hoping Spud would win so we could wrap the division up instead of letting the drama continue. It would be really nice to have some names advance to the round of sixteen so it might feel like we’re getting closer to actually wrapping this thing up. A little light at the end of the tunnel would be nice for a change.

Group UK

Drew Galloway – 6 points (1 match remaining)

Rockstar Spud – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Bram – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Grado – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Roode is ready for Young and is going to end the year as a double champion.

Another preview for the interview, this time talking about Matt winning the title. Good grief can they do anything but fill in time on these shows?

Group X-Division: Mandrews vs. Manik

This would be the weekly “these guys have no chance of winning but here’s a match between them anyway.” Manik takes him to the mat to start but Mandrews gets back up and springs from an armdrag into a twisting cradle for two. An armbar doesn’t get Mandrews anywhere so Manik takes him down and works on the leg.

Back up and Mandrews dropkicks the leg as Josh calls this a classic. A quick hurricanrana takes Manik down and a tornado DDT does the same. Mandrews takes his time looking at the crowd and his standing moonsault hits knees. He takes FOREVER going up top though and his shooting star hits knees, allowing Manik to hit his GTS into a kick for the pin at 7:09.

Rating: C-. Classic? This? All I saw was two guys doing basic high flying moves to each other for a few minutes. As have been the case with most of the matches in the Series, this was little more than ok. They didn’t do anything all that interesting and I have little reason to believe that either guy is going to mean anything going forward.

Group X-Division

Manik – 6 points (1 match remaining)

Tigre Uno – 3 points (1 match remaining)

DJZ – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Mandrews – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Clip of the Wolves getting the Tag Team Titles back recently.

The Wolves say they’ve fought before and they’ll do it again tonight. Hugs all around.

Young promises to do something to Roode tonight and he’s biding his time.

It’s finally time for the Hardy interview. First up he talks about falling off the cage to knock him onto the stairs (read as: the annual injury angle because he can’t go to Europe). This led to Hardy’s Revenge against James Storm in the cage where he completely changed form. After winning the Tag Team Titles with Matt, he broke his leg in the motorcycle accident. We see a clip of the crash and Jeff barely remembers anything about it because of the pain from breaking his leg. We’ll see part two later. Thank goodness because this was a lot of nothing.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards

They come out together as partners. Slow feeling out process to start as the grab a test of strength and monkey flip each other over before going to the mat for near falls. They both raise one arm, then they both raise the other arm, then they both raise both arms. I knew that before it happened because I’ve seen that same sequence multiple times over the years. Both guys have kicks to the ribs caught because they’re mirroring each other the entire way.

Back with the guys actually doing something on their own with Davey missing a charge in the corner and getting kneed in the head. We’re under five minutes now and Eddie slaps on a chinlock. They get back up and Eddie scores with a running kick in the corner. He takes too much time going up top though and gets caught with a running spinwheel kick, setting up a superplex from Davey.

We hit two minutes left and Eddie kicks Davey in the head again but Davey escapes the Backpack Stunner. Richards misses a top rope double stomp and we have a minute to go. A pinfall reversal sequence gets us nowhere and they strike it out until the clock runs out for a draw at 15:00.

Rating: C-. I never want to see these two fight again. I’m well aware that there’s an audience for the performance style stuff they had before the break, but that kind of stuff is the least realistic style of wrestling that I’ve ever seen. I understand the idea is that they know each other perfectly well, but it’s basically saying “yeah they’re working together”. The second half was much better, though still not great.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 6 points (1 match remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 1 points (1 match remaining)

Davey Richards – 1 points (1 match remaining)

The draw means Matt Hardy has advanced to the round of sixteen.

The Wolves think they have something special and will be friends forever.

Part two of Jeff’s interview starts with a discussion of Jeff being broken up by having to watch Matt vacate the Tag Team Titles. This led to Matt challenging for the World Title and Ethan turning it into a way to take Jeff’s dignity away. He doesn’t regret betting on his brother but he didn’t like having to wake Ethan up for his workout and making sure Tyrus watched Sesame Street. It was a great feeling to see Matt win a title and be in the solo dimension. When Matt wins the title back, Jeff will be the loudest cheerer of all. This was a bit better but the interview was more like Jeff’s year in review.

Roode tells Young to hit him now but Young says he’s already inside Roode’s head.

Pope makes some predictions with the swiping game.

Group Wild Card: Mahabali Shera vs. Kenny King

Kenny says if Mahabali wants to be Shera, he’ll be He-Man and that ring is his Eternia. Wouldn’t that be gimmick infringement on Eli Drake? Shera shoulders him down a few times to start but gets taken down into a headlock. King sends Shera to the floor for a big corkscrew dive with a forearm hitting Shera in the head. Back in and we hit the chinlock followed by an enziguri for two. Shera comes back with a suplex and pulls King out of the air with the Sky High for the pin at 5:52.

Rating: C. Face it: Shera is getting this monster push for the India tapings and that’s all there is to it. He’s a bit better now, but dear goodness hearing about that stupid dance while they’re over in India is going to be tough to take. As usual, TNA feels the need to appeal to the live audience instead of the people at home and this is the result. Decent enough match but as usual, just moves until someone gets a pin.

Group Wild Card

Mahabali Shera – 6 points (1 match remaining)

Kenny King – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Aiden O’Shea – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Crazzy Steve – 0 points (1 match remaining)

We recap the night.

Quick video on Roode vs. Young.

Group TNA Originals: Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

We start after a break and Young is quickly sent to the floor, only to snap Roode’s throat over the top rope. Young stays on the throat with a catapult into the middle rope and we hit the neck crank. A quick neckbreaker gets two on Roode but he comes back with an enziguri for a delayed fall. Roode grabs a spinebuster for two and counters the piledriver into a jackknife cover for two. Back up and Young grabs the referee for a distraction, setting up the piledriver for the pin at 6:50.

Rating: C. Decent enough match but these videos designed to make these regular matches feel like some big showdown between epic rivals really aren’t working. Young and Roode are the likely winners of the group as Storm seems to be gone but Abyss is always a possibility. Good enough here as Roode at least stayed on the neck for a story.

Group TNA Originals

Bobby Roode – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Abyss – 3 points (1 point remaining)

James Storm – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Eric Young – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Overall Rating: D+. The show was WAY better than last week but that doesn’t mean the major problems have gone. This is the fifth week in a row where they’ve followed the same formula: a few nothing matches, a ton of analysis from Josh and Pope, then a TNA Greatest Hits main event. Thankfully we can FINALLY see some light at the end of a very long tunnel as all of the groups other than Future Four have had two matches each and we even have one person in the final sixteen. The Series continues to be very well structured and executed but the wrestling mostly ranges from average to boring and that’s not good.

Results

Madison Rayne b. Brooke – Rayne Drop

Bram b. Rockstar Spud – Brighter Side of Suffering

Manik b. Mandrews – Kick to the head

Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards went to a time limit draw

Mahabali Shera b. Kenny King – Sky High

Eric Young b. Bobby Roode – Piledriver

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – October 14, 2015: Deal With It

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 14, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the second week of the World Title Series (love the effort that went into that name) and tonight we get to see the other four groups to complete the field. It should be interesting to see how they can fit in this many people given their roster limitations, meaning we might be in for some extra surprises. The action last week was good so hopefully it continues in that direction this week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the World Title situation and last week. This still doesn’t make the whole thing feel any less messy and overcomplicated to get to the conclusion of a tournament.

It’s time to announce the new groups.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy

Eddie Edwards

Davey Richards

Robbie E.

Group Future Four

Jesse Godderz

Mica

Eli Drake

Crimson

Group X-Division

Tigre Uno

DJZ

Mandrews

Manik

Group TNA Originals

James Storm

Bobby Roode

Abyss

Eric Young

Yes Manik and not TJP because this was taped months ago and new storylines are erased.

We get a challenge from Robbie E. for NFL superstar Rob Gronkowski for some point in the future. Ignore him saying that he’ll beat Gronkowski worse than the Dallas Cowboys as that game already happened.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Matt Hardy vs. Davey Richards

So it’s Group Rockers. Davey takes him down to start and works on a leg lock but lets it go just as quickly. We get a chat from the round table discussion where Davey is pretty passive about the whole thing but Matt wants the title back. They head to the apron with Matt grabbing a quick Side Effect to send Davey to the floor.

Back in and Matt hooks a sleeper but Davey fights back with a jawbreaker to knock Matt to the floor, followed by a suicide dive. Josh: “Of course the ending to Bound For Glory has been trending for two weeks.” Back in and Davey fires off kicks until Matt grabs the Side Effect for two more. Matt dives into a kick to the ribs but Davey misses a top rope double stomp, setting up the Twist of Fate to give Matt the pin at 9:06.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with Matt doing his normal stuff and Davey doing all of his kicks. Matt would have been fine for a token title reign but giving him one in the spot they did it and the quick fallout are going to make it much more infamous than a feel good moment. You almost have to expect Matt to advance into the round of sixteen, likely winding up against Galloway or Carter down the line.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Robbie E. – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Davey Richards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

We take a look at Beer Money splitting and Roode taking the World Title from Storm.

Group X-Division argued about who is the least likely to advance. Bart Simpson jokes are made.

Pope predicts DJZ and Tigre Uno advance from the group for his fearless predictions.

Group Wildcard: Aiden O’Shea vs. Kenny King

The announcers act like O’Shea is an unknown who had never been seen before Bound For Glory. We go split screen for the round table (with the roundtable being far bigger than the match) and come back with King getting two off a sunset flip as Bradley’s pants have split. A spinning kick to the face drops O’Shea but the Royal Flush is countered. Instead it’s a springboard Blockbuster to give Kenny the pin at 4:44.

Rating: C-. So Shelton Benjamin pinned Sheamus. A good chunk of the match was spent on the round table where O’Shea thought King could win because he’s handsome. I actually like the idea of O’Shea as there’s always room for a big power brawler. No he isn’t going anywhere but it’s nice to have him around.

Group Wildcard

Kenny King – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Crazzy Steve – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Mahabali Shera – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Aiden O’Shea – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Eric Young says he’s exposing Abyss for the worthless freak that he is tonight.

Davey Richards says he lost a fair match to a better man tonight.

Here’s your latest filler: we see a group and Pope swipes right if he thinks the wrestler wins or swipes left if he thinks they lose. Abyss and Roode to win and Young and Storm to lose.

Group TNA Originals argue over who is eliminated. Storm and Abyss are annoyed over the Revolution fallout.

Group TNA Originals: Eric Young vs. Abyss

Abyss splashes him in the corner to start but Eric bites the hand to block a chokeslam as we take a break. Back with the brawl heading to the break and Abyss sending him into the steps to take over. Young starts choking a lot but dives into a chokeslam attempt. Abyss has to settle for a Samoan drop for two, followed by the chokeslam for the same. Janice is brought in but Hebner takes it away, allowing Eric to get in a low blow and the top rope elbow for two. The Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the quick pin at 10:39.

Rating: D+. This is the match where the reality of this Series sat in for me. Yeah the concept isn’t bad and they’ve organized it really well, but this is probably all we’re getting for the next two to three months: mediocre matches that only exist for the sake of the tournament with no one interested in doing anything outside of the ordinary. Such is life in TNA.

Group TNA Originals

Abyss – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

James Storm – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Bobby Roode – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Eric Young – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Ethan Carter III, on a bad Skype connection, says he was robbed of the title at Bound For Glory. He’s going to win and isn’t worried about fighting Lashley next week. This tournament doesn’t end until he wins it. Carter is really good at these closing lines.

Young says everyone is against him but he’ll win in the end.

Abyss says tonight was Young’s night. Roode and Storm will have their nights.

Group Tag Team Specialist: Eddie Edwards vs. Robbie E.

Feeling out process to start until Eddie gets in a running knee to the face. Robbie sends him out to the floor and takes Eddie down with a nice dive. A legdrop gets two on Eddie as we hear Matt Hardy picking Robbie E. as the least likely to advance. They slug it out on the floor until Eddie takes over with some chops, only to walk into the Boom Drop for two. So much for Robbie’s chances. The backpack Stunner out of the corner gets the same for Eddie but Robbie grabs a reverse DDT for the clean pin at 5:49.

Rating: C+. This was actually a lot better than I was expecting and I like the idea of Robbie getting a win here. I can’t imagine he goes anywhere in this thing but it’s cool to see him going somewhere and not being treated as a joke for a change. Edwards continues to be far better than Richards in just about every way.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Davey Richards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Eddie shakes his hand post match.

Impact Wrestling – September 23, 2015: It Still Sucks

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 23, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Well the invaders are gone and now it’s time for the build to Bound For Glory, which is going to take place in the next two weeks because that’s all the time we have left. The big story is now Ethan Carter III messing with Jeff Hardy while we wait for a new #1 contender to be crowned. The show basically resets tonight after the GFW guys are gone so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s Lethal Lockdown. It still sucks.

The roster is around the ring as Team TNA and Dixie are in the ring. Galloway thanks Dixie for the chance and talks about how this is their platform to show how much they love wrestling. Dixie makes a five way match for the #1 contendership later in the night. However, Dixie isn’t done yet. There’s one man who is outside of the family now and she wants him out here right now.

Cue Eric Young, who says he has an iron clad contract with TNA but he hedged his bets anyway. There’s nothing Dixie and company can do about it, but Dixie thinks the people around the ring might want to do something. She brings out Sgt. Chris Melendez, who has lost to Eric every single time as Josh points out.

Sgt. Chris Melendez vs. Eric Young

Lumberjack match. Young throws him to the floor to start but the lumberjacks let him back inside. Back in and the fans chant USA as Young is still in full control with a chinlock. Young keeps destroying him with some knees in the corner as Josh hypes up Kurt Angle returning at Bound For Glory. A horrible Samoan drop puts Young down but he pokes Chris in the eye. The prosthetic leg to the face looks to set up the piledriver but instead puts Chris on top for a superplex. Chris shoves him off and hits a missile dropkick for the pin at 5:25.

Rating: D. So here’s the lesson: if you go to war and get your leg blown off, you’ll get to come back to a wrestling promotion that almost no one watches and be one of the least interesting wrestlers of all time before eventually beating an upper midcarder, which will be treated like the most amazing moment in history. Boring match again, because neither of these two are anything worth watching.

The lumberjacks come in to celebrate because they’re easily entertained.

The Dollhouse talks about hurting Gail Kim tonight. Jade is thrilled to get the chance. Rebel and Belle are told to go prove their worth to Taryn.

Ethan Carter III tells Jeff Hardy to do what he says tonight or get fired.

Lashley is done with defending TNA and is ready to go to Bound For Glory.

The announcers talk about the elimination match tonight. Josh looks like a tool with his flannel shirt and sleeve tattoo.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Jade

Gail is defending but Jade jumps her to start. A hurricanrana gets two for the champ but a German suplex gets the same for Jade. Some chops in the corner have Gail in trouble (Pope: “Look at the chest of Gail Kim!”) until she comes back with her corner cross body and the Figure Four around the post. Another hurricanrana is countered into a Batista Bomb to give Jade two, only to have Eat Defeat retain Gail’s title at 4:24.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but they gave away the ending at the beginning by showing the Gail vs. Kong graphic for Bound For Glory. You think they can afford to make a second graphic for a single match? Gail was her usual solid but dull self here and Jade did her normal stuff to make for a watchable match, even if it was hard to care about because Gail sucks the energy out of any segment she’s involved in.

Rebel and Marti run out to beat down Gail but Velvet and Madison make the save. Gail is left alone so here’s Awesome Kong for the staredown.

Rockstar Spud, with Kong’s music still playing, says he and Ethan are welded together so tonight they fight again for the World Title.

X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Kenny King

Time for your monthly defense of the worthless title against the latest opponent who has already left the promotion because they have nothing to do for him. King is also 0-2 since coming back so naturally he’s getting a title shot. Kenny shoves him around to start but Tigre comes back with some kicks to the head to knock King outside, followed by a corkscrew dive. King kicks Tigre out of the air and gets two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A high cross body gets two for the champ but King kicks him into the corner again. Tigre grabs a quick tornado DDT though and the springboard splash retains the title at 5:29.

Rating: C. Fun little match but as I said, this means absolutely nothing. The X-Division might have actually died worse than anything else in TNA in the last two years, which really covers a lot of ground. The match happens and then we’re done talking about it again for weeks. There’s a chance we’ll get another title match at Bound For Glory but odds are it’s some big multi-man elimination match with no story. That’s the major problem for Uno: other than the stupid Donald Trump thing, he hasn’t had a story in the three months that he’s been champion.

We recap Jeff Hardy being hired by Ethan Carter III against his will. Notice that Carter has said Jeff needs this job to pay his bills. Translation: TNA doesn’t pay you when you’re hurt, even if you’re appearing on TV.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Rockstar Spud

Carter is defending and has Hardy and Tyrus in his corner. Spud last won a match…..in August or so? Spud chops away in the corner but the champ stomps him down to take over. Some running forearms put Carter down in the corner as well but the Underdog is countered into a powerbomb for two. Spud grabs the leg to block the 1%er and an enziguri puts the champ down. Not that it matters as a quick facebuster sets up the 1%er to retain the title at 5:36.

Rating: D+. Another quick match that has no time to go anywhere because they have to fit every single thing they can into a single show. There was a time when this match was fun but that was when it was given more than five minutes and an obvious ending. This was more about a quick title defense for Carter, which is fine, but the World Title shouldn’t be on the line in a short match in the middle of the show.

Post match Tyrus beats up Spud even more but Jeff refuses to give him a Twist of Fate. Matt Hardy tries to intervene but Tyrus takes him down. Jeff won’t hit his brother but hits Ethan instead. This story continues to go nowhere because Jeff can’t wrestle, though it still wasn’t the most interesting feud in the first place.

Ethan is going to fire Jeff later.

The Revolution is in the ring with James Storm getting in Abyss’ face. Abyss yells at Storm and says he’s his own man and a TNA original. If Storm ever gets in his face again, Abyss will knock him back to Tennessee. Abyss walks out so Storm calls Khoya out again. Manik says Khoya’s name is Mahabali so Storm shoves him down. Manik still won’t call him Khoya but stops Storm from hitting him. The mask comes off and Manik walks away as well. Cue Sheera who wants to fight Storm right now. Storm says ok but then walks away.

Galloway talks to the Wolves but it’s about being singles wrestlers tonight. All three are cool with that.

There’s going to be a four way Ultimate X match for the X-Division Title at Bound For Glory. No opponents are announced yet. I’m as shocked as you are: a multi-man title match with no story whatsoever, just like almost every title match.

Bram vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Davey Richards vs. Drew Galloway vs. Lashley

Elimination rules and the winner gets the title shot at Bound For Glory. It’s a big brawl to start until Bram and Galloway have a staredown. Lashley comes back in to clean house but gets sent outside. The Wolves get suplexed by Bram but come back with a double suicide dive. Back in and the Wolves start kicking away at Bram, capped off by a double top rope stomp for the elimination.

We come back from a break with Lashley lifting Davey up for a delayed vertical suplex which no one can break up. Why they would want to break it up isn’t clear but I’d assume it’s because logic has no place in a Wolves match. Eddie slaps a half crab on Lashley and Davey adds a cloverleaf on Drew. Those go nowhere and a spear from Lashley and Future Shock from Drew take out the Wolves. Down to Lashley vs. Galloway with Lashley taking over off some chops. A powerslam gets two for Lashley and he unleashes the suplexes. The spear hits buckle though and Drew’s big boot sends him to Bound For Glory at 14:43.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. It’s a meaningless five way with no personal animosity and no one that stood all that high above the rest. As usual, TNA has no idea how to build to a match other than Dixie coming out and announcing it. This was ten minutes of average wrestling with little drama and no reason to cheer for anyone in particular. If Drew wins, fine. If Lashley wins, fine. Bram wasn’t going to win because he’s a violent man and the Wolves aren’t winning because they’re a team. What was left to care about here?

Ethan and Tyrus are back to call out Jeff for his firing. Jeff throws the sign down and talks about living to create and how the creatures don’t live in Ethan’s reality. Ethan talks about Jeff having no other form of income and orders him down on his knee to kiss the World Title. Jeff gets on his knee but quits instead of reciting Ethan’s speech. Ethan says Jeff is fired and this show is over.

We get a preview for next week to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This company feels like an indy promotion. You establish some characters and have a main title picture, but the rest of the show is spent having random feuds and matches with no real story to them. Wrestlers come and go, no one really gets over, the feuds mean nothing, and then they move on to their next program. The wrestling was just there as usual, meaning it was nothing all that interesting but it was passable for the most part.

This company needs a complete overhaul but that’s not possible when they don’t even know how long they’ll be on TV. Here’s the most telling thing for me: their top stars (arguably) are the Hardys. Matt has been defeated by Ethan twice now and Jeff can’t wrestle. Those are your big draws? A failure and an injured guy? And we’re heading into the biggest show of the year?

TNA’s biggest issue right now (aside from no one watching their show and impending cancellation) is connecting with their audience. Everything is all about caring for people who had stories before. Take the GFW story for example. Why shouldn’t I like the GFW guys? Because Jarrett was an outsider, who still owned part of the company? I have no reason to care about TNA and I have no reason to care about most of the stories they’re telling right now.

Results

Sgt. Chris Melendez b. Eric Young – Missile dropkick

Gail Kim b. Jade – Eat Defeat

Tigre Uno b. Kenny King – Springboard splash

Ethan Carter III b. Rockstar Spud – 1%er

Drew Galloway b. Bram, Davey Richards, Eddie Edwards and Lashley – Big boot to Lashley

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Impact Wrestling – June 17, 2015: Three For The Price Of One

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 17, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’ve got two weeks to go before Slammiversary and it’s time to start building towards the main event of the TV show two weeks from tonight. Yeah the Carter vs. Angle World Title match is going to be held on Impact instead of at the pay per view due to some scheduling issues. That is of course TOTALLY different than TNA being a poorly run company who couldn’t figure out that having a pay per view the day after a TV taping was really, really stupid. Let’s get to it.

We open with a tribute to Dusty Rhodes, who used to be the authority figure here back in the early days.

It’s time for Angle and Carter to sign the contract. In an interesting case, this is coming just after a contract signing closed Ring of Honor. Carter gets to talk first by talking about Angle beating Heartbreak Kids, Texas Rattlesnakes, Dead Men, Immortals, Electrifying Men, Rated R Superstars and some people you can’t even see. He’s also beaten submission machines, phenomenal ones, icons and charismatic enigmas (the first person mentioned actually still with this company. And shouldn’t those all be singular since Angle only beat one each?) but the World Title reigns ends with Carter.

Angle praises Carter, but thinks he’s a disrespectful punk. This time around, Kurt is healthy and ready because he’s been here before. Once Carter loses, it’s going to haunt him for the rest of his life. Both guys sign, but they also get to pick an opponent for each other. Angle gets to go first, and he picks Lashley to face Carter. Not a bad choice. Carter gets to pick next week on a live show.

The X-Division Title will be decided next week. Man just scrap Slammiversary and put on a Barney Miller marathon.

We recap the Tag Team Title series to this point, with the Wolves currently up 2-1.

Here are the Wolves with Davey talking about how they’ve fought around the world to be the best tag team in the world, and that’s what those belts mean. They’ve beaten the BroMans, the Hardys and Team 3D already and now it’s time for the Dirty Heels. Last time the Heels cheated to win, but the Wolves won’t get fooled again. Good line but points off for a WOLVES NATION shirt. Stop just putting a word in front of nation and thinking it sounds good.

Edwards wants to do match four right now, so here’s Roode sans Aries. Austin isn’t here tonight because he’s healing up after last week, so there’s no match. Eddie thinks a singles match is in order and Roode doesn’t think so, but he’ll do it if the winner gets to pick the stipulation for next week. The Wolves are fine and it’s time to go.

Bobby Roode vs. Eddie Edwards

Roode hammers away to start but Eddie kicks him outside for a big suicide dive. Back in and a clothesline gets two for Eddie but he runs into an elbow to the jaw. A Hennig necksnap puts Eddie down again as Roode is a heel this week. It’s good to know as it varies so often. Roode’s chinlock doesn’t go anywhere as Edwards comes back with a leg lariat.

The announcers call last week’s Aries vs. Angle match five stars. At least this time they’re waiting until after the match happened to praise it. There’s a backpack Stunner for two on Roode but he comes back with a spinebuster for the same. Roode tries to bring in a chair but Richards gets on the apron for some reason, earning him a swing from Bobby. The distraction lets Eddie get a rollup pin at 8:22.

Rating: C. This brings up the problem with the entire series: the matches are just ok. They’re not bad or anything, but I barely remember them a few minutes after they happened because they’re just coming and going as we wait for the big match to come for the titles to exist again. The ending made no sense either as the Wolves wound up cheating instead of the Dirty Heel. This story hasn’t been great since it started and it’s losing steam every week.

Davey makes match #4 Full Metal Mayhem. So what’s #5 going to be? Another regular match?

Joseph Park is back, minus his law firm, money or teeth. He’ll face Bram tonight and get to be the guy on top for the first time. So we’re just forgetting that he knows he’s Abyss I guess? Does that mean we’re done with the Revolution too?

We get a ten second video of Drew Galloway talking about how much he loves wrestling.

Bram vs. Joseph Park

Park tries to lecture Bram before the match and gets punched in the face. Bram slugs away but misses a chair shot, allowing Park to get in some shots of his own. Now it’s table and kendo stick time as I guess this is a hardcore match. It was never announced as one but sure why not. Park comes back with some kendo stick shots and a chokeslam for two. Back up and Park misses a spear through the table, allowing Bram to get the pin at 3:53.

Rating: F. A guy as talented as Bram is stuck in the hardcore story because there’s nothing else for him to do right now because they’ve killed off the singles titles other than the World Title and now we’re sitting here watching him against Joseph Park. Bad match here and Bram doesn’t even get to hit his finisher to win? Horrible stuff.

Taryn has a deal for Brooke and Awesome Kong: if they beat the Dolls tonight, they both get a title shot. If they lose, neither can ever have a shot again.

The world is ready to burn and playtime is over. No idea what that is for.

Marti Bell/Jade vs. Brooke/Awesome Kong

Brooke gets jumped in the aisle but here’s Kong for the save. The bell rings and Kong runs Jade over before it’s off to Brooke, who doesn’t have the same luck. Brooke fights off some double teaming but gets thrown right back into the corner as the announcers debate their taste in women. Brooke avoids a charge and spears Jade down, allowing for the tag to Kong. A chokeslam plants Marti and Brooke climbs onto her shoulders for a big elbow and the pin at 6:24.

Rating: D. This wasn’t the worst in the world but good grief Josh is getting on my nerves. Between talking about the number of days the champions have held their titles and calling Dinero the heel commentator, he becomes more of a combination of Cole and Striker every week. Nothing match here as the finish was obvious, though the story wasn’t bad.

We recap the hardcore war which ended with Eric Young choking out Chris Melendez with Chris’ prosthetic leg.

Chris Melendez wants to fight Eric Young right now. This brings Young out to praise Melendez for being an American hero, but Young just doesn’t care. He cares about no one but himself because there’s no reason for Melendez to be in the same ring as Eric Young. Does Chris really want to be here all alone next week? Chris says he’s ready. Young was just a jerk here and not crazy, making him FAR more effective as a heel. Melendez is nothing though.

DJZ vs. Jesse Godderz

Godderz laid DJZ out last week so DJZ charges right at him to start and nails a jawbreaker and middle rope back elbow (love that move). Back up and Jesse slams him down by the arm, setting up a Boston crab for the submission at 1:43.

Post match Godderz cuts a really, REALLY good promo about how he was the BroMans because he was the only one training while Robbie was on a reality TV show and DJZ was in some bar making funny noises. He rants about how Robbie was nothing until he joined the team and now DJZ is nothing either. Jesse gorilla presses him up but Robbie makes his big return and shows more fire than ever before. I’m actually digging this.

We look back at James Storm possibly murdering Mickie James a few weeks back.

Here’s a livid Magnus, two weeks after Mickie was attacked. He isn’t letting this show continue until he gets James Storm out here one on one. Here’s Storm to call Magnus the crazy jealous one for having Mickie followed by cameras. “What do you think was happening when those cameras weren’t there?” Magnus is held back by security but Storm brings out a baby stroller, presumably carrying Mickie and Magnus’ son.

James calls it his insurance policy but walks down the aisle without it. He says Mickie is a sorry excuse for a woman and Magnus is a sorry excuse for a man, which is finally enough to get Magnus past security. Storm kicks the baby stroller off the stage and of course it’s just a doll.

Video on Ethan Carter III.

Ethan Carter III vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley throws him down to start and nails a hard clothesline before just running Carter over. Tyrus finally grabs Lashley’s boot to stop his boss’ pain but Lashley easily suplexes Carter over. Another Tyrus distraction lets Carter get in a dropkick off the apron to take over. The match isn’t bad so far but I can’t take much more of Josh talking about the number of days Carter has been undefeated. Carter slows him down with a chinlock for a bit before having to escape a torture rack.

Lashley scores with a powerslam for two but Tyrus puts a chair in the corner. The spear hits the chair (Earl Hebner has zero issue with this) and Carter gets two off a DDT. The 1%er is countered and the referee goes down (like it matters), right before the spear connects. Cue another referee but Tyrus takes him out and gives Lashley a Big Ending, setting up the third referee to count two, earning him a shot from Tyrus. Lashley spears Tyrus but gets speared down, only to get nailed in the back with a chair, setting up the 1%er to give Carter the pin at 9:26.

Rating: D+. This was straight out of the Russo playbook with two chairs, three ref bumps and interference in less than ten minutes. Angle was nowhere in sight to help even the odds because the script didn’t say he was supposed to and the whole thing was just way too much. It didn’t help that Josh was driving me up the wall with his counting the days of Carter being undefeated. We get it: you’re Michael Cole and Carter is Miz. Pick a better role model.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is on the verge of flying off the rails and you can see a lot of it coming from here. The problem right now is they’re building to three different shows instead of any one in particular. You have next week’s live show with Full Metal Mayhem and the X-Division Title match, Slammiversary (which I don’t think has anything official yet) and then the bell to bell show in two weeks with the World Title match. It doesn’t help that a lot of the midcard just feels like a big waste of time when they could be doing anything else. The show wasn’t horrible but they need to focus on something quick.

Results

Eddie Edwards b. Bobby Roode – Rollup

Bram b. Joseph Park – Pin after a missed spear through a table

Brooke/Awesome Kong b. Jade/Marti Bell – Elbow drop to Bell

Jesse Godderz b. DJZ – Boston crab

Ethan Carter III b. Bobby Lashley – 1%er

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TNA One Night Only – X-Travaganza III: What Do You Want Me To Say?

X-Travaganza III
Date: May 6, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

I guess this is considered the beginning of a new season of these shows as the first X-Travaganza was the first ever One Night Only. Barring a big surprise, this is going to be a series of qualifying matches for an Ultimate X match for money later on in the night. These shows really are good illustrations of how far the division has fallen in recent years. Let’s get to it.

We open with the standard speech about how important this division is to TNA’s history. Notice that as the division has fallen into obscurity, the company’s success has gone down as well. Of course there’s a lot more to it than that, but once TNA stopped having something to focus on other than the main event division, things kept going south. As usual, this also shows us clips from later in the night.

All matches are qualifying matches for the Ultimate X main event with $100,000 on the line unless noted otherwise.

Tigre Uno vs. Sonjay Dutt

Feeling out process to start with Sonjay taking him down with a quick armdrag before having to spin out of a wristlock. Some fast near falls get us nowhere but both guys collide to put them on the mat. Back up and Sonjay takes over with some chops and a running knee in the corner before stopping Tigre with a boot. Tigre comes back in with a dropkick for two as the announcers start talking about Twitter handles. I really hope this isn’t a descent into the usual commentary madness on these shows.

Sonjay comes back with something like an Octopus Hold and a kick to the head for two. This turns into a discussion of favorite submission holds, which is at least related to what we’re watching. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Tigre fights back, only to miss a split legged moonsault. Dutt’s standing moonsault gets two as the fans are really not all that interested here. Borash finally gets around to explaining the idea of the qualifying matches for Ultimate X later in the show. Tigre crotches himself on an attempted basement dropkick in the corner but comes right back with a rolling cradle for the fast pin (and maybe a four count).

Rating: C-. We’re already seeing the issue with this show: there’s no reason for these two to be fighting and that makes for a dull match as neither of these two did anything exciting enough to warrant having nine minutes. It’s not a bad match or anything but it’s just two guys doing moves to each other until one got a pin off a cradle.

Kenny King talks about surprising everyone by showing up in TNA and brags about all of his success. No matter what he did though, he never could get noticed until he joined up with the BDC. Tonight, we’re calling this X-Travaganza Step Up, because he wants someone to step up to become the next Kenny King. Be careful though because he’s going to knock them right back down.

Kenny King vs. Jay Rios vs. Pepper Parks

Parks wrestles all over the indies and seems to have a fitness gimmick. Rios is a lower level indy guy but he was recently on Impact as Tigre Uno’s partner in the Tag Team Title tournament against Bram/Ethan Carter III. Josh asks the returning JB how he can get around the arena to announce everything so fast. Parks kicks Rios in the head to start and stomps him down as King stands back.

The fans chant for the BDC (the only people they might know in this match) as King backdrops Parks to the floor. Rios kicks both of them through the ropes and hits an Asai moonsault to drop both opponents. Back in and Parks gets two off a sitout powerbomb as King is still on the floor. Rios sidesteps Parks’ spear to send him into King before hitting the springboard into an RKO on Parks for two.

Pepper doesn’t seem to mind as a double superkick puts King down, only to have Rios hit running boots in the corner to both opponents. King suddenly realizes he’s Kenny King and starts cleaning house but Rios shoves him off the top and hits a frog splash for two on Parks. Back up and Rios goes to the apron, only to springboard into the Royal Flush to give King the pin.

Rating: C. Better but it’s the exact same problem from the first match: I have no real reason to see these guys fight and they’re not doing anything worth seeing. In other words, these matches aren’t very interesting and make me want to go watch some old TNA matches instead of these.

Here’s a clip from Destination X 2013 where Manik won the X-Division Title in Ultimate X.

Manik vs. Mr. 450

450 is yet another indy guy who has been squashed in NXT a few times under the name Jesus de Leon. For some reason he comes out (after Manik) with a weird eyepiece that looks like something out of Star Trek (for your KB trivia: I’ve never seen a single movie or episode of Star Trek) and may supposed to be something from the future.

Wherever he’s from (yes I know it’s Puerto Rico), he grabs an armbar to start as the announcers talk about Google Glasses. They spin around a few times until 450 gets two off a springboard cross body. Manik sends him hard into the post though and things slow back down. Off to the floor now with Manik sending him into the post again as Josh laments the loss of Bernie Mac. He was in a movie called Mr. 3000 (Josh calls it Mr. 300) so it’s connected you see.

Manik grabs a cross armbreaker (at least he’s following up on the shoulder into the post, putting this match ahead of everything else on the show so far) before rolling some suplexes, capped off by a belly to back hammerlock suplex. We hit the chinlock with the arm trapped back for a bit to keep up the psychology.

450 comes back with another springboard cross body but Manik catches himself in the ropes instead of going out to the floor. He goes right outside a few seconds later though, setting up 450’s Asai moonsault. Josh clarifies that Pepper and Joseph Parks are not related before Manik hurricanranas 450 into the armbreaker for the submission.

Rating: C+. Best match of the night so far with the arm work actually playing through the match instead of just introducing it and then forgetting it just as fast. Again it’s not a great match or anything like that, but at least it was a good way to kill seven minutes. Manik is an underrated talent in the company and unfortunately he’s stuck in the lame Revolution for the time being.

Video on the Knockouts defying the limits just as well as the men do.

Taryn Terrell is in the five Knockouts ladder match later tonight and she can prove that she’s more than just a pretty face.

Great Sanada vs. Jonathan Cruz vs. Crazzy Steve

Cruz is Rios’ partner in the indies. Steve pulls out a horn as Matthews thinks Cruz is Mr. 450. Ignore the fact that neither wears a mask so this shouldn’t be too complicated. Steve goes out to the apron and waits for a tag because we’re in a comedy match. Sanada cranks on Cruz’s arm to start and they hit a nice spin out sequence for one of the few good reactions from the crowd all night long. Steve comes in with a crucifix and sunset flip for two each on Sanada before Sanada pulls on Cruz’s face.

Now the announcers talk about the places Sanada has wrestled, including the hibachi place and Nakatomi Towers. Off to an abdominal stretch on Cruz until Steve makes the save. The serious guys finally get tired of the comedy and pound Steve down like anyone sensible would do. Steve comes back with cannonballs in the corner, only to have Sanada mist Cruz in the face. A moonsault gets two with Steve making the save, setting up a DDT on Cruz to send Steve to Ultimate X.

Rating: D. The announcers have gone from amusing to Tazz land as they spent the whole match making as many Japan jokes as they could squeeze into a short match. Steve is a generic “comedy” guy who gets annoying in a hurry with neither opponent being able to do much. Sanada really should have gone forward here as he’s more than earned the spot in the last year, especially on these shows.

Rockstar Spud says he’s a great wrestler, even when he was just getting coffee for Dixie Carter. Tonight he can show why he’s a great X-Division wrestler when he wins his first Ultimate X match.

And now, since they can’t even get to 2:45 on their own, here’s the X-Division Title match from Slammiversary 2014.

X-Division Title: Sanada vs. Tigre Uno vs. Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Crazy Steve vs. Manik

Sanada is defending and this is a ladder match. Also keep in mind that Destination X and Option C are coming up soon. Manik dives through the ropes to take out Sanada before the bell. The Wolves follow suit with stereo suicide dives and Steve has apparently knocked Tigre Uno down. Steve gets a ladder from under the ring and uses it to climb back to the apron. Tigre dropkicks him down and mostly misses a corkscrew dive to take everyone out.

Sanada and Manik fight over a ladder in the ring with the champion taking over via a springboard chop to the head. Tigre replaces Manik and kicks Sanada in the back of the head but the Wolves double team him into a German suplex onto the ladder in the corner. Edwards throws in a fresh ladder but Manik dropkicks both of them down. Steve (very popular tonight) comes in for the Terry Funk spinning ladder spot, taking down everyone that comes into the ring.

Manik makes a save but Steve shoves the ladder over, only to have Manik land on the top rope and dive out to knock out the Wolves. Steve goes up again and touches the belt but of course loses his hand eye coordination since this is a ladder match, allowing Sanada to make the save. The ladder is busted so Sanada slams Steve onto it to set up the moonsault. The fans think this is awesome as Tigre enziguris Sanada off a better ladder.

Tigre wedges the broken ladder into the standing one to form a bridge, but the Wolves catch him in a powerbomb/top rope Backstabber combo. The Wolves both go after the belt but Sanada makes the save. Edwards Sanada clothesline each other to the floor and Eddie crashes into the barricade, leaving Davey on top. Manik makes the save and powerbombs Davey onto the bridged ladder in a SCARY landing. Sanada climbs up to retain at 9:40 before someone dies.

Rating: B-. The match was fun but some of those spots looked too dangerous for my taste. Richards getting powerbombed was way too scary looking and I didn’t like how he landed. Hopefully everyone is fine, but I question having people go through a match like this without even giving the match hype on TV.

Rockstar Spud vs. Dalton Castle

Castle is basically a man in a peacock costume during his entrance with and some good looking valets to disrobe him. Naturally the announcers aren’t going to explain who Castle is because they’re too busy with their “witty banter.” Castle puts his hands on his back and sticks his chest out so Spud imitates the look (one fan: “Spud’s was better!”). The pose off continues as the announcers debate this year’s Best Picture winner. They start shoving each other out of the way to pose before Spud gets one off a rollup over a minute in.

This sends Spud to the floor to call Castle a chicken. Time for a chase scene with Dalton getting taken down with a drop toehold. Matthews talks about being chased by a chicken as a kid as Spud knocks Dalton outside. Josh: “There was no choking of the chicken.” Castle throws him down to the mat and struts a bit before covering for two. Josh: “New game! Every time you say Castle’s full name, you have to give him a new middle name.” Spud screams at a slap and hits some running forearms, followed by the Underdog for the pin.

Rating: D+. I love Spud but there was only so much you can do here when the announcers are making up games to get themselves through the show. Castle needs a straight man or partner in general to play off as he doesn’t have the wrestling acumen to back him up out there. This was barely even a match after all the posing.

Matt Hardy is ready for his dream match against Austin Aries tonight. Who has been dreaming of that match? Matt talks about his career evolving all the time and now he’s going to give A Double a double dose of Mattitude.

Mikaze vs. DJZ

Mikaze had a pot of coffee back in ROH back in 2005-2006 and was squashed by Ryback one night. DJZ bails from the threat of a kick to the head and does a Karate Kid pose. Back up and Mikaze chases him out to the floor, only to have DJZ snap the back of his neck across the ropes. That’s with with Mikaze who skins the cat out to the floor and into a hurricanrana for a nice counter.

Back in and DJZ stomps him in the corner as we hear about Mikaze designing wrestling gear. Mikaze misses a springboard clothesline and a lot of choking ensues. The announcers count ropes (seriously) and laugh at the idea of Mike Tenay dying. Mikaze sends him to the floor and gets a running start before changing directions into a moonsault. That was awesome. Back in and Mikaze hits a springboard forearm (fans: “AJ STYLES!”) and Trouble in Paradise, only to get caught in a bottom rope tornado DDT to send DJZ to the Ultimate X.

Rating: C. Mikaze looked cool but the idea of sending anyone but those already on the roster to the main event is a pipe dream. DJZ is trying but he’s another example of someone who needs a partner to help him get through most of his matches. He’s mainly a comedy guy and that doesn’t translate well when he’s trying to have a regular match like this one.

Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim vs. Angelina Love vs. Brooke vs. Taryn Terrell

Ladder match for a future Knockouts Title match. I love that they can’t say who the champion is at the moment as they have no idea who it will be when this airs. Everyone goes for the ladder to start but they just wind up knocking the thing over for a big crash. Madison suplexes Taryn on the floor (Josh: “That was violent!”) and the announcers take shots at the Divas.

We get the first ladder brought in with Gail trying to get it straightened on the top rope for no apparent reason as everyone fights in the background. Angelina gets dropped face first onto the ladder but Gail and Brooke start fighting over who gets to use the ladder. Taryn is sent face first into the ladder in the corner as Angelina sets up another between the barricade and the apron.

Everyone gets knocked down in the corner until Gail is dropkicked off the apron and onto the bridged ladder. We finally get a ladder set up in the middle of the ring but Brooke shoves it over, sending Angelina and Madison crashing down. Gail pulls Taryn down but both quickly climb up, only to have Brooke pull Gail through the rungs. Gail is dangling but stops Brooke from pulling the contract down. Not that it matters as the contract falls, allowing Taryn to dive onto it for the win.

Rating: D+. I’ve never been a fan of these short gimmick matches. What’s the point in even bringing the ladders in if they’re going to be done in less than seven minutes with five girls in there? You can barely get anything going and there’s almost no drama, though Taryn winning is always a good thing.

The Wolves are ready to face each other and they’re both coming at it hard. It’s all cool though.

Package on the Wolves.

Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards

This is just a dream match instead of a qualifying match. They’re in different tights tonight to make this feel a bit different. Feeling out process to start and both guys give a clean break in the corner. They point at the crowd and lock up against the ropes as this is totally even so far. Davey can’t spin out of a wristlock but they both spin out of a hammerlock into a standoff. Now Josh talks about grilled cheese and his ability to map minds.

More technical stuff leads to a headscissors from Davey and they trade something like the surfboard’s drunk cousins. The third standoff sets up Davey nailing a dropkick and putting on an Indian deathlock, complete with a Rude hip swivel. Edwards does the same (the swivel I mean) with the surfboard knee stomp as Josh is STILL going on about the mind map stuff. Davey is sent to the floor and both guys avoid dives, setting up Eddie’s moonsault off the apron to break his heel and put him on the shelf for three months. Back in and Davey hits a pair of Creeping Deaths (Eddie: “DO IT! DO IT!”) for the pin.

Rating: C. This is a hard one to grade as it was just starting to get going when the injury took place. They didn’t want to go after each other here but they were getting into the spirit of competition right before the ending. Good enough match though and the Wolves continue to be awesome on this show.

Austin Aries says he and Matt Hardy are good in any division. He has to talk over a match ending and it’s really distracting. Isn’t there like an office or locker room deep inside the building that they could do these in instead?

Clip of Aries beating Roode in the first Option C cash-in.

Austin Aries vs. Matt Hardy

Again, the winner doesn’t go to Ultimate X. They fight into the corner to start as the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here. Matt scores a quick takedown and poses before doing it again and shouting 2-0. Aries takes him down twice in a row, lays on the ropes and says we’re tied. They hit the mat with a headlock into a headscissors counter and it’s already a standoff. Another mat sequence ends with Aries hitting a basement dropkick and a slingshot hilo for two.

The announcers ignore the match again but at least they talk about the main event. Well to be fair they make a bet on the main event but close enough. Aries dropkicks Matt out to the floor but his suicide dive hits a forearm. Matt fights back with a middle rope elbow to the back of the head but the Side Effect is blocked with an elbow to the head. The double underhook guillotine has Aries in trouble but he escapes and puts on the Last Chancery.

They fight over a suplex on the apron (of course the Last Chancery didn’t work. It hasn’t in years) and Matt is shoved to the floor for the suicide dive. Aries dives into a kick into the ribs though and eats a Twist of Fate on the floor. Austin barely beats the count back in and quickly drops Hardy, only to miss the 450. Matt misses the moonsault though and they slug it out from their knees. The Side Effect gets two for Matt but Aries pops up with a pair of discus forearms, the running corner dropkick and the brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: B. Match of the night here by about a million miles but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. This sounded like something that should be headlining an indy show and there’s nothing wrong with it being the second biggest main event on a nothing show like this. To be fair, a big indy show probably has a better card than a lot of One Night Only shows.

Video on Ultimate X.

Kenny King vs. Tigre Uno vs. Rockstar Spud vs. DJZ vs. Crazzy Steve vs. Manik

Ultimate X for $100,000. Yeah not a title shot or anything, but money. It’s a big brawl to start with Manik making the first failed attempt at the X. A limping Spud is down on the floor as Steve bites DJZ’s head and hits him with a Cannonball in the corner. Tigre stops King from getting the X but gets pulled down by Manik. King superplexes Steve down and hammers away before everyone is down for a bit.

Spud pulls DJZ down and other combinations do the same thing as this is already starting to drag. We hit the parade of dives with Spud going last. It’s clear that they’re just killing time at this point, likely due to the Wolves match going short. They get back in (including Steve, who Josh keeps calling Steve of Crazy) for a Tower of Doom and the fans are barely reacting. King shoves DJZ through part of the structure before pulling Spud off the cables.

Tigre hits a Phoenix Splash to the floor onto DJZ for no apparent reason. King and Manik screw up an alliance and END THIS ALREADY! King is the only one left standing so he pulls out a ladder. Spud makes his comeback and hammers away on King but Kenny hits him with the ladder. The slowest climb of all time allows Spud to make the save and….have to deal with Manik who springboards onto the ladder. Thankfully it quickly falls over and Spud hangs on, pulling down the X to win.

Rating: D+. WAY too long here with nearly 18 minutes to this thing. The guys were trying hard but this shouldn’t be more than about ten minutes at most. The lack of drama really hurt it too as the only two possible winners were King and Spud, and there was barely a single dramatic attempt at the X. Just too long here and it really dragged things down.

Overall Rating: D. Oh yeah this was dull. It went on too long (which says a lot as this wasn’t even 2:45 long and it had about 15 minutes added with the Slammiversary match) and nothing here was worth seeing. In other words, it’s basically the exact same thing that has plagued every One Night Only show, including the dreadful commentary. Matthews and Borash clearly didn’t care and they knew they wouldn’t get in trouble for it because no one watches these shows. Bad show, but the guys were indeed trying.

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TNA One Night Only – Victory Road: Is Impact On?

Victory Road
Date: December 5, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

We’re still doing these things for some reason and yet again it’s a bunch of qualifying matches for a gauntlet later in the night. These things are almost interchangeable as they’re either a gauntlet match or a tournament of some sort and they’re really getting old. In this case the winner gets $50,000 and a future World Title shot, which I’m sure will be remembered later. Let’s get to it.

The opening video shows everyone in the competition tonight over a slow song. There isn’t much to say about this one.

There’s no thirty minute intro this time. All matches are qualifying matches for the gauntlet.

Kenny King vs. Austin Aries

Feeling out process to start with King going for the leg to escape a wristlock in a nice counter. Aries rolls out of a wristlock as well and grabs a headlock, only to have King send him off and nip up before rolling outside for some reason. Back in and they speed things up with a headscissors taking King down and setting up a basement dropkick. King sends him out to the floor for a crash before slapping on a chinlock back inside. In case you’re wondering the announcers’ first totally off topic discussions are about Taz kicking people in Texas and Tenay having wanted posters in casinos.

King puts on another chinlock and mocks the Austin Aries chants as things slow down. A knee to the ribs puts Aries down but King misses a slingshot knee. Aries rolls to the apron and runs Kenny from buckle to buckle about ten times in a row. This is accompanied by the announcers making fun of Southwest Airlines. King bails to the floor and takes a top rope ax handle to the head, setting up a running elbow for two back inside.

Aries’ missile dropkick gets the same but Kenny blocks the brainbuster attempt. Austin wins a slugout but walks into a spinning kick to the face for two. The Royal Flush is countered and Aries blasts him with the discus forearm, followed by the corner dropkick and the brainbuster to send Aries to the gauntlet.

Rating: C+. Nice match here, assuming you can ignore all of the horrible commentary. King is a guy that can have a good, athletic match more often than not, even though most of his stuff here was based around chinlocks. Aries was doing his usual stuff but the fans ate it up, which is the entire point.

The Wolves are ready for their singles matches tonight because sometimes they hunt in packs and sometimes they hunt on their own.

Davey Richards vs. Bram

Taz about Christy: “She was late. That’s a thing guys don’t like saying about women.” Bram shoves him up against the ropes to start and knocks him down with a clothesline. Davey comes right back with a low bridge to the floor, a baseball slide and a missile dropkick to put Bram down. Back in and some kicks to the chest have Bram in even more trouble as Tenay and Taz are talking about going to the mall and yogurt shop. A belly to back suplex puts Davey down again and we hit the chinlock.

Davey gets stomped to the floor as Bram is having a great time hurting him. Off to another chinlock before Davey grabs a sunset flip, only to pop up and hit a quick double stomp. Back up and Davey nails his handspring into a kick to the chest followed by a release suplex for two. The top rope double stomp misses but Davey gets two off a rollup. Davey is all fired up but Bram pulls the referee in front of a charge to stop a charge, allowing him to nail an implant DDT to pin Richards.

Rating: C. Another decent match here with both guys looking solid. Bram is a guy that has a good look and can back it up in the ring, which I’m sure is why he’s been stuck feuding with Tommy Dreamer and now Al Snow. I still can’t get behind Davey as a singles guy but the Wolves are good enough as a team.

Kazarian and James Storm are teaming up later to face the Menagerie. Storm yells about having to face a freak show, which he calls a one hit wonder. Kazarian says he was the first man in the gauntlet and the last man out at the first Victory Road. This is when Storm is just an evil cowboy, meaning he’s not quite as entertaining yet.

Menagerie vs. Kazarian/James Storm

It’s Freak/Knux here with Knux starting off against Kaz, who slaps Knux in the face to start. We get a chase scene on the floor before Knux kicks his head off back inside. Knux has to fight out of the heel corner but Storm kicks him in the back of the head to take over. James comes in legally and hammers away as the fans freak out over something. Back to Kaz to rip at Knux’s face in the corner. Tenay and Taz are of course talking about Rebel.

Knux scores with a powerslam and the hot tag brings in the Freak. Storm is thrown around with ease as Tenay thinks Knux’s mask is a black and white cookie. A Jackhammer plants Kaz down and we get an old school double noggin knocker. The heels try the Wrestlemania V ending with Kaz playing Heenan but Freak just muscles Storm off. Not that it matters as Kaz breaks the beer bottle over Freak’s head and the Last Call sends them both to the gauntlet.

Rating: D+. Standard tag match here but I like that they’re mixing things up instead of just doing the same singles matches throughout the night. Storm and Kaz going on to the main event is the right idea, even though Kaz was almost gone at this point. It’s also a problem when Storm is a totally different character now but here he’s doing the old cowboy stuff.

Video on Lashley, who is listed as the champion here.

Bobby Lashley vs. Samoa Joe

Lashley doesn’t have belt as he comes out, which makes far more sense for this show. Joe gets shoved into the corner to start before Lashley gets behind him and throws the big guy down. A shoulder doesn’t send either guy down and Lashley tells him to bring it. Taz is actually offering some analysis here, meaning he’s likely running a high fever. Lashley gets pounded down in the corner and takes the Facewash, only to take Joe’s head off with a clothesline.

A series of crossface shots gets two on Joe and a suplex gets the same. Off to a nerve hold and Taz actually explains why it should work. Joe fights up and hits a big boot followed by the backsplash for two. A middle rope dropkick gets the same and Lashley is in trouble. There’s the Clutch but Kenny King comes out for a distraction, allowing Lashley to get out of the hold and spear Joe down for the pin.

Rating: C. When Joe is motivated, he’s as fun of a guy as you’ll find in TNA. When he’s just going through the motions though, it can make for a long match. It was more towards the latter here as there was no fire in Joe, but to be fair, can you really blame him? He hasn’t done anything outside of midcard stuff in like six years but we’re supposed to buy him as meaning something here? I still don’t get why he doesn’t get a bigger push.

Mr. Anderson vs. Abyss

Anderson jumps him on the floor to start and sends him into the barricade. He drives Abyss into the apron and fires off right hands before slamming Abyss face first into the barricade again. Now the bell rings as they get inside and Anderson hammers away in the corner. A big back elbow drops Anderson and Abyss drives fists into Anderson’s head.

The announcers debate which meal they saw Abyss at as he cranks on Anderson’s neck. Anderson avoids an Earthquake splash but his regular splash hits knees. Back to the neck crank for a bit before Mr. fights up with a spinwheel kick, only to have the Mic Check blocked. A quick chokeslam is enough for Abyss to advance.

Rating: D. I really was expecting more from a pair of former World Champions. This started quick and ended out of nowhere with Abyss just hitting his secondary finisher for the pin. Anderson is very much like Joe, in that he just hasn’t had anything important to do for a long time.

The BroMans are excited about winning the money because DJZ needs a mail order bride, Jesse wants a home gym and Robbie might buy a bunch of hampsters.

Here are the BroMans for their match and one of their opponents is…..Spud. The Brans mock Spud for trying to compete until his partner comes out to back him up.

BroMans vs. Bully Ray/Rockstar Spud

If this is half as great as the previous match with Ray and Spud, it’s going to be a classic. Before the match, Ray has something to say to the BroMans. He makes Spud stand in the corner and says he doesn’t like him, but he likes the BroMans even less. Therefore, he and Spud can team together for one night only. Ray says the fans have to convince the referee, which takes all of two seconds, and we’re ready to go.

Spud of course starts on the apron as Jesse poses at Ray. The fans want Spud and Ray is nice enough to give them what they ask for. We get more posing from Jesse, sending Spud right over to tag Ray, who facepalms as a result. Taz thinks Ray and Spud will split the winnings 40/10 tonight. Everything breaks down and the good guys do a double Flip Flop and Fly with Spud losing his mind, thrusting both the air and the mat and Ray just looks on in awe. Ray finally drags him over to the corner by the ear but gets beaten down by both BroMans.

A double clothesline puts the BroMans down as Ray really doesn’t seem that worried. Some Bionic Elbows drop the BroMans and Spud plays D-Von in What’s Up on Robbie. Spud is all dizzy as Ray slaps his chest for the tables, only to knock Spud down to the mat by mistake. It’s table time and Spud comes back with a pink kid’s table and Ray is stunned.

Spud tries to climb on it and crushes the thing, allowing the BroMans to get in some cheap shots. DJZ throws in a real table but Ray suplexes both BroMans down. Ray pulls DJZ in and pulls up his underwear, only to have Spud turn on Ray by nailing him with the chain. The BroDown sends the BroMans to the gauntlet.

Rating: C. This was fun at times but they just killed the crowd with the ending. Spud and Ray are one of the best comedy teams in the company but instead of going with the fun ending, they go with the storyline ending that no one wants to see. Granted no one was watching this show in the first place so it doesn’t matter as much.

Spud yells at Ray post match and of course gets powerbombed through the table.

Gunner thinks tonight is a great opportunity and can’t wait to get another chance at Magnus, who he almost took the title from earlier in the year.

Magnus vs. Gunner

The Brit grabs the arm to start as the fans just go silent. A front facelock into a headlock puts Gunner down before a back elbow to the jaw sends Magnus to the floor. Things slow down a bit with Gunner chasing after Magnus and getting shvoed off the apron and into the barricade. Back in and an elbow to Gunner’s shoulder drops him again and we hit a camel clutch.

That goes nowhere so Magnus rams him into the barricade for the standard non-effect. A slingshot suplex plants Magnus and a running knee to the chest gets two. Both guys try cross bodies and go down as Tenay can’t figure out what HSM means (Human Suplex Machine). Gunner gets crotched on the top and superplexed down for two. Magnus walks into a slam but raises a boot to stop the flying headbutt. Back up and Magnus tries a sunset flip but Gunner drops down ala Davey Boy Smith for the pin.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t bad but again, as I’ve said a few dozen times in this series, there’s no reason for me to care about these guys. One guy gets into the gauntlet and another doesn’t and they had a watchable match to get there. Nothing much to see here but it was an acceptable match.

Ethan Carter III and JB say “sup” a lot and Carter isn’t worried about Sanada. More sups are dropped.

EC3 video.

Ethan Carter III vs. Sanada

This could be interesting and Sanada isn’t evil yet. Before the match, Carter says he’s fluent in Japanese. Sanada says something in Japanese and Carter “translates” and I’m sure you know where this is going. Sanada finally calls him a stupid idiot and starts an idiot chant to get the match going. Some chops put Carter down and Sanada rains down right hands in the corner, only to get caught in snake eyes for two. Taz complains about eating bad Mexican food as Carter chops the skin off Sanada’s chest.

Sanada comes back with chops of his own and stomps Ethan down in the corner. The crowd dies as Ethan sends Sanada face first into the middle buckle to take over again. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Carter just slams him face first into the mat. Back up and Sanada grabs a hurricanrana followed by three straight springboard chops to the head for two. A missile dropkick sets up the moonsault but Sanada jams his knee, allowing Ethan to nail the 1%er for the pin.

Rating: C-. Anytime I get to hear Ethan’s song twice in a row, it’s a good day. Carter continues to be one of the major bright spots in the company and Sanada is no slouch either. Unfortunately this match had to take place at this show instead of somewhere that, you know, matters.

Bram is ready for the gauntlet because he’s here to hurt people.

Samuel Shaw vs. Crazzy Steve

OH COME ON NOW. They really need to have THIS match on the card to fill in time? There was nothing else that could have taken these few minutes instead of making us sit through this? Eh at least I get to look at Rebel twice in a night. Shaw misses a charge to start so Steve gets right down in front of him to mimic Shaw’s pose. Knux offers a distraction to send Shaw flying over the top as the crowd is dead again.

They fight over balloons but Shaw stops to look at Rebel. That earns him a bite to the leg until Samuel throws him off to the side with ease. A clothesline puts Steve down and about 18 fans think Shaw is creepy. Shaw chokes on the ropes and screams in a high pitch until Shaw floats over and hits some headbutts to the chest. Steve stops his comeback to get the balloons and dives into the side choke for the submission.

Rating: D-. They just fought over balloons. Get to the next match please.

The BroMans are are excited about the match and Robbie has already spent what sounds like millions. Jesse, somehow the smart one of the team, has to explain reality to him.

Tigre Uno vs. Eddie Edwards vs. DJZ

Feeling out process to start as everyone locks up with everyone. DJZ wants to stop for a second and we get a three way lockup. Now we get a three way headlock until Tigre dropkicks DJZ to the floor, only to have him pull Edwards out with him. Back in and Tigre bounces into a hurricanrana to take DJZ down but the spiky haired one comes back with a headscissors.

A spinwheel kick drops DJZ again and a Mysterio sitout bulldog has him in trouble. Edwards comes back in with a double missile dropkick before chopping Tigre in the corner. DJZ is sent outside again as Edwards puts Tigre into a fireman’s carry and throws him into an X Factor of all things. Everyone is back up now with DJZ sunset flipping Tigre who Germans Eddie at the same time. DJZ hits a pair of running knees to Tigre’s back but Uno punches his way to freedom.

Edwards gets dropped into a neckbreaker from DJZ for another near fall but Eddie sends both guys to the floor for a moonsault off the apron. Tigre pops up for a springboard corkscrew plancha to take over again. Back in and Tigre gets crotched on the top and superplexed down, allowing DJZ to get two counts on both guys.

Tigre does the overly complicated spin around Eddie into a headscissors but Edwards counters his springboard hurricanrana into a half crab. DJZ breaks that up too and sends Eddie into the post, only to get kicked in the head. Eddie misses a top rope double stomps and gets DDT’ed for two before Tigre botches a springboard hurricanrana for two on DJZ. Uno gets shoved off the top and Eddie grabs the half crab on DJZ for the tap out.

Rating: C+. Match of the night so far, mainly due to it just being different. It’s still nothing we haven’t seen a dozen times or so before, but at least the right guy won and it was entertaining enough. Edwards comes off as the far better singles wrestler of the Wolves, but that could just be due to Richards coming off like a jerk most of the time.

A music video recaps the night so far.

Gauntlet Match

Winner gets a World Title shot and $50,000. It’s the Royal Rumble style with twelve entrants, two minute intervals and the final two having a singles match for the title. Edwards is in at #1 and Aries in at #2 with Eddie nursing a sore shoulder. Speaking of shoulders, a block from one is enough to put Eddie down and Aries goes for an early elimination. That goes about as well as you would expect this early on so Edwards starts busting out some chops. Neither guy can eliminate the other until it’s Kazarian in at #3.

All three fight each other and this is already going nowhere. Aries kicks Kaz in the head but Edwards tries to dump Austin instead of Kazarian. Edwards and Kazarian are on the mat and Robbie E. is in at #4. He walks around doing the money sign and they just pummel him with forearms and chops. They pair off again though with Robbie actually knocking Aries down for a breather.

Samuel Shaw is in at #5 and of course takes his sweet time to get to the ring. Robbie hides from him in the corner so Shaw reaches through the ropes to get to him. Kazarian puts Eddie in a sleeper but Aries puts a sleeper on Kazarian at the same time. Robbie does it to Aries and Shaw does it to Robbie for a five way sleeper. Tenay thinks this is original because just adding two more people to the same spot that’s been done in multi-man matches for twenty years is innovative.

Lashley comes in at #6 to clear out some bodies but everyone goes after him in a smart move. Aries’ brainbuster is easily blocked though and Lashley puts him out. Edwards quickly follows him with a big beal sending him to the floor and Kaz is the third elimination, all by Lashley. A spear is enough to dump Shaw, leaving Lashley vs. Robbie. The killing is postponed though as Abyss is in at #7.

The big guys slug it out and Lashley manages to suplex the masked one. A chokeslam stops Lashley cold but he comes back with a spear. Ethan Carter III is in at #8 as Lashley and Abyss get in a brawl near the ropes and are eliminated by Carter and E. in a big surprise. Robbie and Carter are apparently cool until Carter nails him in the face. They brawl on the mat for a bit as the fans have now died for an unprecedented 485^th time tonight. Carter can’t throw him out and Gunner is in at #9.

Gunner goes right after Carter as Robbie hides in the corner again. Robbie gets up and saves Carter which he makes sure to point out to Ethan. Gunner can’t put either guy out but he can chop Carter’s chest into some pretty colors. We get the stupid “comedy” spot of Robbie landing between Carter’s legs. Carter is reeling until Jesse is in at #10. The BroMans double team Gunner as the announcers talk about the 80s. Ethan starts directing traffic until Gunner fights all of them off at once. James Storm is in at #11 but is fine with watching from the stage for awhile.

He finally comes down and says he wants Gunner for himself before choking him with the tag rope. Nothing happens for awhile as Bram is in at #12, giving us a final grouping of Jesse, Robbie, Carter, Storm, Gunner and Bram. Carter says he has an idea as the match just stops again. That goes nowhere as the BroMans dump Carter in just a few seconds. Jesse rams Gunner into the buckle so he can do that same I’M INTENSE spot again.

The BroMans accidentally collide and Gunner dumps Robbie with ease. Unfortunately he doesn’t freak out over not winning the money to pay his bills. Storm Last Calls Jesse to the floor and we’re down to three. A headbutt eliminates Bram and of course we’re down to the only rivalry in the match for the final two.

It’s a one on one match now so they stop for the big serious staredown. They slug it out with Storm clotheslining him down and dropping a leg for two. James goes outside for a beer but the bottle was used earlier. Instead he wedges a chair into the corner but of course goes face first into it, setting up the F5 to give Gunner the pin.

Rating: D. To the shock of no one and in keeping with the theme of the night, this was long and dull. The singles part lasted all of two minutes and ended with the same thing that almost every match in their feud ended with: Gunner winning without any real doubt. Unfortunately his push has died since this match was taped due to a six month feud with Samuel Shaw that has dragged Gunner through the floor.

Gunner promises to win the title before a long recap video ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. It’s not even that the shows are bad or anything as they usually have some watchable wrestling. I’d just like to see SOMETHING besides a tournament or gauntlet match to give me something fresh. I mean…can’t we just have a card of matches with a main event where some guys get to have some twenty minute matches that tear the house down? As usual these shows come and go and nothing sticks with me after about ten minutes. In other words, they’re very forgettable and that’s not the kind of show I’d drop money on.

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On This Day: October 15, 2011 – Ring of Honor TV: How Did I Make It This Long?

Ring of Honor
Date: October 15, 2011
Location: Frontier Fieldhouse, Chicago Ridge, Illinois
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness

It’s week four of this show and I believe the final episode in this batch of TV tapings. After this the show will be out of the Davis Arena in Louisville for a few weeks which is the home arena of OVW. I’m curious to see how they change things at the next batch of tapings but we have to go through with the original here still. Let’s get to it.

We open with a highlight package of last week’s world title match.

Here’s another video because this is a highlight show right? It’s about the Briscoes and how awesome they are and how much better they are than the All Night Express.

The All Night Express talk about how they’ve fought the Briscoes time after time and get closer to beating them every time.

Briscoe Brothers vs. All Night Express

This is for the #1 contendership. I have no idea which Briscoe is which but it’s Jay according to the announcers. Kenny King and Rhett Titus are the Express. King is the guy from Tough Enough 2. Kenny is sent to the floor quickly and it’s double beatdown time until Titus runs over for the save. This is a big feud with a bunch of hard hitting matches in it. Off to Titus who is getting double teamed now.

We’re into the heat segment here I guess as Titus gets beaten down for awhile. The Tweet of the Week talks about how this is wrestling, not sports entertainment. They head up to the corner where Titus is set for a superplex. He manages to counter into a Snake Eyes onto the buckle and it’s double hot tag. King cleans house with some decent flipping style moves. The Express hits a double team plancha, sending Titus over the top to take out the Briscoes.

A spinebuster by King sets up a double kneedrop off the top for two. A Briscoe hits a falcon arrow on King and the other hits a frog elbow for two. Titus and Mark fight over the announce table as Kenny gets kicked low and a small package by Jay is enough for the pin at 8:07.

Rating: C+. Decent match here but with the weeks of buildup I was expecting a little more than an eight minute match. The match was decent and the Briscoes are flashy enough to have something good going on, but their promos and gimmick gets annoying fast. Not bad here and a pretty entertaining match, but it needed more drama.

Post match the referee asks if Jay kicked him low and he says no. Titus gets up and is beaten down again as we go to a break.

After a break we establish that yes indeed, the clear low blow earlier was in fact a low blow.

Here’s a package on Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team because why have them wrestle a match when you can talk about how great they are? Both of them list off their amateur accomplishments and it takes up WAY too much time.

After a break, Jim Cornette says neither team is the #1 contenders, making that match totally pointless.

Time for Inside ROH which is about the House of Truth and the possibility of Edwards vs. Richards II. The idea here is that Martini is a manipulator and everyone other than his boys think that. Michael Elgin, the power guy of Martini’s House of Truth Martini says Martini is awesome.

Richards and Edwards say they’re hunters and beating the other will be that next achievement.

Michael Elgin vs. Eddie Edwards

They grapple for a bit and then it’s time to strike each other a lot and no sell all of it! Elgin gets knocked down and then gets a delayed vertical suplex for two. Kelly said it felt like an eternity. It was really more like about 9 seconds but that’s an eternity of selling in this company so I guess that’s acceptable. Edwards snaps off a rana and goes to a half crab which is an Achilles hold according to him.

Lionsault gets two. And there goes the selling as Elgin grabs a spinebuster out of the corner for two as we take a break. Back with, and brace yourself for this, Edwards hammering away with forearms which don’t work as Elgin gets a side slam for two. Edwards fires off two superkicks and a suplex kind of move to put both guys down. Missile dropkick gets two.

Edwards hits a dive on the floor into the barricade and Kelly is overselling this way too strong. They start slugging it out and Kelly starts talking about the website. They actually CUT AWAY TO A GRAPHIC OF A WEB BROWSER TYPING THE WEBSITE’S NAME. I mean, we missed part of the match so we could see how to spell ROHwrestling. WOW. Elgin takes over and they go to the apron. Edwards hits his fourth superkick out there and a double stomp to take over.

Edwards tries his leg trap suplex but gets caught in a buckle bomb. That doesn’t work so well though. Not because it’s not a devastating move, which it was. However, Edwards was up and fine a few seconds later and hitting superkick #5. That lets him hit the Diehard (leg trap suplex which would be a lot more effective if it made sense as Elgin had to work with him to make it work) for the pin at 14:04.

Rating: C-. Not the worst match they’ve ever had but Edwards is more or less a Davey Richards clone with all of the strikes and the no selling and stuff like that. I don’t want to imagine a match betwee them but I think it’s been booked for the main event of the Final Battle show. Not much to see here.

Post match Roderick Strong comes out and gets in Edwards’ face. McGuinness gets in to make the save from the non-attack.

Overall Rating: C. Well it was a little better but at the same time there was nothing interesting here for the most part. It’s nice to see them actually having some stories, but we don’t need to have the 15 minutes of videos to establish these feuds through talking. A third match per show would do wonders for these guys to put it mildly. Not a horrible show but it’s the same uninspired stuff they’ve done for a month now.

Results
Briscoe Brothers b. All Night Express – Small Package
Eddie Edwards b. Michael Elgin – Diehard

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