IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 17, 2005
Location: Savannah Civic Center, Savannah, Georgia
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

We’re rapidly closing in on Wrestlemania and this week will focus on the build towards the two big interpromotional matches. Tonight we have Kurt Angle vs. Marty Jannetty as Kurt tries to prepare for Shawn Michaels, plus the contract signing for Randy Orton vs. Undertaker. For once, I’m looking forward to all of the big stuff. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle to get things going. He liked what Shawn Michaels did on Raw and it seemed like a way to get Marty ready for tonight, but there is no way to prepare for an Olympic gold medalist. Shawn can find that out at Wrestlemania but Marty is finding out right now.

Kurt Angle vs. Marty Jannetty

They’re starting fast and the fans are behind Marty early on. Angle takes over with a hammerlock but misses an elbow drop. Marty gets kicked away but nips up and it’s an early standoff. A headlock takeover keeps Marty in trouble though as he can’t do much to escape. Back up and Marty works on the arm again as Cole talks about Marty’s accomplishments. Why being the Intercontinental Champion isn’t mentioned isn’t clear.

Angle takes him down again without much effort but Marty reverses right back into an armbar. A toss to the floor is countered with a skinning of the cat into a headscissors to send Angle outside. Cole calls this “the fight of Angle’s life” as we take a break. Cole isn’t a history buff. Back with Angle holding a waistlock, which he switches into a waistlock to mix things up a bit.

Since these holds aren’t exactly interesting, Angle snaps off a German suplex for two and it’s right back to a waistlock to stay on the ribs. Jannetty finally fights up and hits a DDT for a much needed breather (and a much needed anything else than another hold on the ribs). A spinwheel kick drops Angle and a hurricanrana out of the corner puts him down again.

Marty hits a high crossbody but Angle rolls through and hits a German suplex. The Angle Slam and ankle lock are both broken up and a rollup gives Marty a close two. Now the ankle lock goes on full but Marty rolls him into the buckle for the break. Angle isn’t having that and puts it right back on, this time with the grapevine for the tap.

Rating: C. I know this match has some fond memories and the last five minutes are good, but almost everything before that is Angle holding him on the mat. I don’t know if that was just to extend the match but it was little more than the same style hold over and over. Marty looked better near the end, though it’s not like this was some all time performance. The ending helped bring it back up, but it wasn’t enough to make this any kind of a special match.

Theodore Long is in his office to respond to John Cena giving him the FU last week. It is his responsibility to give us the best in action and entertainment but no one can put their hands on him. JBL comes in to interrupt him mid speech and says he’s rather happy that Long is going to take away Cena’s title shot. Not so fast though as Long isn’t suspending Cena, but if he touches JBL before Wrestlemania, he loses the title shot. That is, unless it’s in a sanctioned match, like tonight when Cena is teaming with Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio to face JBL and the Bashams. We get a classic annoyed JBL face before he storms off, leaving Long to dance.

Chavo Guerrero comes up Eddie, asking if he’s seen Rey. Chavo wants to know what happened to Eddie, who is a disappointment to the family. See, Rey is holding Eddie back because Rey beat him over and over before Eddie agreed to team with him. Chavo: “If you can’t beat him, join him right?” Eddie tells him to get out of here but Chavo says either stop acting like this or stop calling yourself a Guerrero. Chavo leaves and Eddie throws a chair.

Since it’s St. Patrick’s Day, Torrie Wilson and Joy Giovanni are in green as they take pictures with the fans. Joy looks like she’s about to scream.

Booker T. vs. Luther Reigns

During the entrance, Booker kisses his new wife Sharmell, who is sitting in the front row. Heidenreich comes out to do commentary because we’re STILL not done with Heidenreich vs. Booker. Reigns misses an early clothesline but grabs a hot shot to set up the second clothesline for two.

Heidenreich is silent on commentary (I can live with this) as Reigns grabs a neck crank, followed by another clothesline for some more twos. The chinlock goes on as we’re two minutes in and somehow have run through most of Reigns’ offense. Booker suplexes his way to freedom and grabs a spinebuster to put Reigns down again. The superkick into the Spinarooni sets up the ax kick to finish Reigns.

Rating: D. How you can run out of offense that soon isn’t clear but leave it to Reigns to figure out a way to make it work. Reigns just isn’t working and there isn’t much of a way to make him look like any more than a clueless putz. Booker has nothing going on before Wrestlemania but leaving him off of the show is better than a showdown with Heidenreich.

Post match Heidenreich reads a poem about Booker showing him the light with the chair shot. Now he has a new way to live his life. Can that way of life involve a career change?

Wrestlemania trailer, this time featuring When Harry Met Sally. Linda McMahon doing the “I’ll have what she’s having” line might be the funniest thing she’s ever done in WWE. Take that for what it’s worth.

Long is in the ring for the Undertaker/Randy Orton contract signing. We get a quick intro but here’s Eric Bischoff to interrupt. Bischoff promises Raw dominance at Wrestlemania so here’s Orton, who will bring Raw a huge victory. We see one single fan cheering for Orton, which just makes things feel sad. Long handles Undertaker’s entrance, which takes as long as you would expect it to.

Undertaker signs without saying anything and hands the contract to Orton. You can’t get through a contract signing so simply though as Orton says Undertaker will be 12-1 soon. Orton is unlike the rest of his opponents because he isn’t afraid. Everyone says facing Undertaker is like facing no one on earth, but facing Orton is what’s unlike anything else. Orton signs and slaps Undertaker in the face, which just isn’t that bright. Undertaker starts shaking and the lights flicker, followed by the fire exploding behind Orton. That’s never a good sign.

Jackie Gayda and Lauren Jones take more pictures in the crowd.

Paul London vs. Billy Kidman

It feels like we haven’t seen a cruiserweight match in a long time. Kidman takes him into the corner to star as the announcers immediately switch over to talking about Undertaker vs. Orton. Fair enough in this case though at least try to make it sound a little less obvious. London grabs a sunset flip for two and hits a dropsault for the same. A dropkick breaks up London’s springboard though and it’s time to work on the back. We hit the chinlock with a knee in London’s back, which starts the comeback as London hits another dropsault. The 450 finishes Kidman in a hurry.

Rating: C-. London is the current #1 contender after winning a match on Velocity so this wasn’t exactly shocking. The cruiserweight division barely exists anymore but it’s a nice way to fill in some time, when WWE remembers that they exist. Pushing London is as good as pushing anyone else, assuming it actually goes anywhere.

Carlito is working the concession stand this week and that means reading the paper. He eventually sells a kid a hot dog but sprays ketchup on him for requesting change. An adult complains and gets some spit.

Classic Steve Austin moment: crushing Rock’s Lincoln.

Here’s Big Show for a chat. He’s never been in a sumo match before but he’s the one person Akebono can’t push around. That is all.

Orlando Jordan tells JBL to not be worried about tonight’s six man.

Raw Rebound.

Dawn Marie is in the crowd this time but gets in a fight with Michelle McCool. It’s quickly broken up as we continue a string of what feels like filler material.

Wrestlemania rundown.

JBL comes up to Cena and tries to provoke him into violence. He knows that Cena wants to be rich like him because Cena came from a poor family where his mama had to sleep with the landlord to pay the rent. Cena says JBL is as stupid as he looks and he can wait five minutes for the bell to ring. Thanks for the motivation though.

Video on Christy Hemme’s Playboy.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Basham Brothers vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio/John Cena

Historical note: My Time Is Now makes its debut. Cena makes sure to wait for the bell before slugging away at JBL to start but he has to settle for a hiptoss on Danny when the champ bails. A little dancing sets up an early Shuffle for two and it’s a heavily cheered Eddie coming in with a slingshot hilo. The springboard headscissors/armdrag takes both Bashams down at the same time and we take a break.

Back with Eddie bringing Rey in, much to Cena’s….I think annoyance? Shock maybe? Rey’s springboard crossbody gets two on Doug but the Bashams get him into the corner. That means JBL can come in so Rey gets straight over to Cena, sending JBL bailing to the floor. Cena gets to suplex Danny instead as the powder keg continues to simmer. The fans still want Eddie as Rey comes back in for the 619 to Danny. Doug throws him into the barricade though and it’s JBL coming in for a swinging neckbreaker.

The fall away slam, with a glare to Mysterio, gets no cover so it’s back to the Bashams to take turns on Rey. A double flapjack sets up a front facelock, which is escaped in a hurry for the tag off to Cena. That means house can be cleaned but JBL reverses a whip to send him into the steps. Rey dives onto JBL, leaving Eddie to hit Three Amigos to Doug Basham. Eddie goes up for the frog splash but Rey Drops The Dime for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was the storytelling match more than anything else and the stories they’re advancing worked well. Pushing the idea of Cena being ready to explode on JBL is as good of an idea as they have as Cena winning the title isn’t much of a secret anymore (if it ever was). Rey getting the pin after Eddie did most of the work wasn’t talked about but it’s a perfect way to move things forward.

Post match Cena grabs a chair but realizes the bell has rung and can’t do it. He hits Danny over and over instead as JBL cowers. Cena says you can’t see me to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. What a weird show at times with a bunch of stuff that came and went, plus stories that feel like they belong in the middle of June when there is nothing going on rather than two and a half weeks before Wrestlemania. Did we really need the Divas deal or the cruiserweight match or Booker and Heidenreich (AGAIN)? What matters here is they moved the bigger stories, with JBL vs. Cena all but set and Eddie’s issues with Rey starting to take shape. This would have been a great hour long show but for what we got, it only worked well enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 10, 2005
Location: Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re less than a month away from Wrestlemania and that means this show is going to be more about John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield, which is almost all that matters from Smackdown. Odds are we’ll get some more on the interpromotional matches but John vs. John is the only exclusive Smackdown match that has gotten any focus so far. Maybe that changes tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look back at last week with JBL and the Cabinet costing Cena the US Title to Orlando Jordan in a smart and logical next step.

Here’s the Cabinet to open things up, complete with security, which hopefully coordinated with the Bashams. JBL talks about how they’ve done something cool every week and this week it’s time to honor someone who values respect. That would be Jordan, who won the US Title last week all by himself. The CENA chants begin and JBL tells them to stop cheering for the loser.

We hear a bit about Jordan’s past, growing up with several brothers and sisters in the inner cities. Jordan did the right thing: he turned his back on his family and here he is as the US Champion and the people in the seats watching him. JBL is a wrestling god and can show these people how great everything can be. Common people can never stand here with championships and….what is Jordan holding? JBL looks disturbed by the spinner title (well yeah) because common people like Cena put things like that on their cars instead of investing in education. That’s why we need to do what we’ll be seeing next.

A trashcan is brought in and, after a rant about what Cena has ruined about the title, JBL puts it in the can and lights the belt on fire (with the can exploding in something Kane would fine excessive). JBL presents the traditional US Title to Jordan and we get some solid heel posing. They kept this short and the segment and promo both worked. Thank goodness it wasn’t on Raw as HHH would have made it ten minutes longer.

Booker T. vs. Heidenreich

No DQ because WWE wants us to suffer. Heidenreich slugs Booker into the corner to start in the only thing he does remotely well. A knee to the ribs cuts Booker off and Heidenreich slowly stomps away in the corner. In a smart move, Booker kicks him low because he can get away with it here, sending the announcers into near hysterics over the pain.

Heidenreich seems fine as he sends Booker face first into the announcers’ table and then the post for a bonus. Back in and Heidenreich punches even more, followed by a hard clothesline for two. Heidenreich brings the chair in but takes too long crawling around, allowing Booker to ax kick him onto said chair. A scary chair shot to the head knocks Heidenreich cold for the pin.

Rating: D. The match was a conclusion to a story that didn’t warrant a second part, let alone a third, but it was an emphatic way to end things. However, it also (again) showed just how useless Heidenreich was in the ring. Most of his offense was punching and he looked incapable of doing anything beyond entry level stuff. Booker, as well as everyone else involved, deserves better than that.

We look back at Randy Orton challenging Undertaker for Wrestlemania.

Theodore Long isn’t sure what is going to happen when Cena gets here tonight. Carlito comes in and Long has a job for him: find out Undertaker’s response to Orton’s challenge. Do it or be fired.

Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero admire their Tag Team Titles when Chavo Guerrero comes in to wish them luck tonight. See, tonight JBL and Jordan have a Tag Team Title shot and Chavo wouldn’t want to be the only Guerrero with a title. Eddie: “No one’s grandma would be happy with that!” Chavo leaves and Eddie says it’s not his fault that Chavo is his nephew.

Carlito goes looking for Undertaker, because the only place he could be is in the bottom of the building. The lights go out and Carlito lets out a high pitched scream. A maintenance worker apologizes for turning them out because he didn’t know anyone was in there. That was kind of funny.

Mark Jindrak vs. Luther Reigns

Jindrak jumps him during the entrance but gets beaten down because Jindrak isn’t very good. They get inside with Reigns powering him down in the corner and pulling on the arm. Back up and Jindrak makes his comeback with every basic bit of offense you can imagine. A high crossbody gets two so Jindrak knocks him out with a left hand for the pin. Can these two be done already?

A ticked off Cena arrives, pipe in hand, and doesn’t want to be asked questions. Or maybe he just doesn’t like Josh Matthews.

Back from a break with Cena in the arena (makes sense because there would be no reason for him to wait in the back until after the commercial and wanting the noise killed. He and JBL both like to break things, but he likes to break faces instead of titles. So the Cabinet can get out here right now so we can handle this. No one comes out so Cena demands that they get out here so we can deal with this right now. Instead it’s Long coming out, saying he knows that Cena is a little razzle dazzled. Cena: “Razzle dazzled?”

Tonight Jordan and JBL have a Tag Team Title shot but Long has another idea: Cena can have his rematch for the US Title tonight. Cena would rather take all of them apart, but Long says we can’t have the Wrestlemania main event destroyed. That’s not cool with Cena, who thinks Long is sounding like JBL. Since that makes him part of the problem, Cena lays Long out with an FU. That didn’t quite fit with the rest of what Cena was saying, which was one of his first really serious main event promos, where Cena can excel.

Post break, Cena has been removed from the building.

It’s time for the Kurt Angle Invitational but this time around, the medal is above the ring. During Angle’s entrance, we see a clip from last week with a spot shadow on Shawn Michaels unmasking as a cameraman. Just in case you thought it was one of the people standing still and now revealing themselves to be a famous wrestler.

Angle talks about working hard to become an Olympic champion in 1994 but he kept hearing about this. We see a clip of the Wrestlemania ladder match, with Angle talking about how revered the match is. Angle knows he could put Shawn’s performance to shame, so tonight it’s a ladder match for the medal. Get an opponent out here.

Kurt Angle vs. Mike Haywood

Angle forearms him in the face to start and chokes with a knee in the back. The Angle Slam and an ankle lock let Kurt win probably the shortest ladder match in history.

Post match Angle sits on the ladder and says that wasn’t hard. He didn’t even use the ladder as a weapon. Now let’s jump to 1989, when Shawn made his Wrestlemania debut. We see a clip of the Rockers’ entrance before Angle says he’s arranged a match with Marty Jannetty next week. Shawn better be watching so he can learn what it’s like to tap out to Kurt.

Wrestlemania Recall: Bobby Heenan and Gene Okerlund are found with Mae Young and Fabulous Moolah. Bobby begging not to let them drag him back in is hilarious.

Big Show accepts Akebono’s challenge to a sumo match at Wrestlemania. Something I had forgotten: Big Show getting together with Joy is a bit more interesting when you remember she was mentioned as a wife and mother during the Diva Search.

Wrestlemania rundown. There is still just one Smackdown vs. Smackdown match.

Carlito is looking for Undertaker but Torrie Wilson scares him out of his wits. Since he can’t find Undertaker, he’ll have to call him out in the ring. That was a rather worthless waste of time.

Video on Christy Hemme’s Playboy shoot.

Here’s Carlito to call out Undertaker. He’s tired of this wild goose chase and now he needs an answer before he gets fired from Smackdown. Going to Raw is that out of the question for him? Anyway, it would be cool if Undertaker could give him an answer so there’s the gong. Undertaker does the full entrance, leaving Carlito to sheepishly ask about Orton’s challenge. Undertaker says that many have come at Wrestlemania, and like the rest of them, Orton will fall. The Tombstone leaves Carlito laying.

JBL tells the security to guard the hallway in case Cena comes back.

Hall of Fame video.

Next week: Orton and Undertaker sign the contract.

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Orlando Jordan

Mysterio and Guerrero are defending and the Bashams are out here too. Eddie and JBL start things off with Eddie suckering him in with a slap to the face. Thankfully commentary doesn’t waste time getting to a discussion of JBL taking the title from him here in Virginia last year. Some armdrags send JBL outside so Jordan comes in and holds his arms up. Eddie isn’t impressed and pokes him in the eye as casually as you can.

Rey comes in for a sliding dropkick to the knee and some kicks to the head. Again commentary does well as they explain that Jordan hurt his leg at a show over the weekend (that would explain the half trunks/half shorts). A shoulder lets JBL come in and he has to lean rather far down to say something to Rey. The powerbomb attempt is countered with some right hands and it’s Eddie coming in with the slingshot hilo for two.

Eddie draws Jordan in so Rey can snap JBL’s throat across the rope and it’s more choking with the tag rope for a bonus. It’s back to Jordan, who actually has more success with punches and stomps in the corner. Rey’s comeback is cut off by a Bashams distraction and a big boot from JBL.

The Bashams are ejected for their efforts and we take a break. Back with JBL sending Rey outside with the fall away slam so Jordan can send him back first into the apron. The logical bearhug follows from JBL and Jordan gets in one of his own. Rey gets in a tornado DDT and brings Eddie back in as everything breaks down. The 619 is loaded up but JBL hits Rey in the knees with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They were making sense for the most part though it was nothing more than a main event tag where we were waiting around for whatever Cena is going to do end the show. It was also clear that JBL and Jordan weren’t getting the other titles so close to Wrestlemania so while the wrestling was good, it was more about waiting around until the ending.

Post match the beatdown is on and here’s Cena to clean house, including the FU to Jordan as JBL bails into the crowd. A lot of glaring ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The JBL vs. Cena stuff has been very well put together as JBL is feeling the promos, but it’s incredible how little else Smackdown is offering Wrestlemania. Yeah there are the two big interpromotional matches and they’ve gotten some time on these shows, but hearing about Big Show in a sumo challenge isn’t quite the same as the introduction of Money in the Bank. Wrestlemania really is a two match show at its core, but Orton vs. Undertaker and Michaels vs. Angle are doing a lot of good to prop up the rest of the show. Throw in Money in the Bank and we’re looking at a pretty stacked card.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 3, 2005
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re about a month away from Wrestlemania and things are starting to come into shape. The big story coming out of Monday affects Smackdown as well as Kurt Angle agreed to face Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania and left him a bloody mess. Tonight is going to be more about John Cena vs. JBL and that’s what matters more than anything else around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of JBL’s celebration last week with Big Show John Cena breaking it up and wrecking a bunch of stuff.

Here’s Cena for a chat and he gets straight to the point: he’s sick of everything being about JBL. Who throws a party for themselves? JBL was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and has always had stocks, but a few years ago, Cena was spending his money to sit right out there with the fans. He’s spent all day making a sign to hold up and then spent his money to buy a foam finger or an old school ice cream bars with Doink the Clown on the front.

Last week Cena broke up JBL’s party because he wants to fight and since real recognizes real, these people don’t care about what JBL can buy. They want to see a fight but JBL doesn’t want one. This week, the fighting champion is fighting Orlando Jordan. The sheer apathy from the crowd is jarring. Then JBL can throw another party for himself and get an award for being the biggest b**** in the WWE. It doesn’t matter how long JBL has held the title because it’s all about how many days he has left with the title. At Wrestlemania, Cena is getting the title and that’s that. Fired up promo here, as is often the case with Cena.

Tag Team Titles: Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns vs. Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero

Reigns and Jindrak, who got in a brawl last week, are challenging here. Reigns starts and slaps Jindrak’s hand, which isn’t a tag for no logical reason. Some left hands in the corner have Eddie in trouble so it’s off to Jindrak vs. Rey in a hurry. Jindrak and Reigns take turns choking Mysterio on the ropes, followed by Jindrak cranking on both of Rey’s arms at once. Rey gets in the sitout bulldog but Reigns is right there to elbow Rey in the back.

A dropkick to the knee gets Rey a breather but Jindrak gets in a knee from the apron for the save. As tends to be the case, the tag goes through a few seconds later and Eddie gets to clean house. The champs’ ten punches in the corner are broken up so Rey hurricanranas Jindrak over the top. Two Amigos hit Reigns and Rey adds the springboard seated senton. The frog splash retains the titles.

Rating: C-. Perfectly acceptable for a quick opener but that’s all it was going to be. There was no reason to believe that Jindrak and Reigns were going to win the titles here, due to a combination of their issues last week and even WWE isn’t desperate enough to make Jindrak and Reigns champions. Rey and Eddie are good champions and can hold the titles until a better option comes around.

This week, Jindrak drops Reigns with one punch. To be fair, that was a great left hand, even if Cole thinks a straight punch and a hook are the same thing.

The announcers talk about Angle vs. Michaels.

The women talk about Angle attacking Shawn on Raw. Dawn Marie comes up to yell at them and gets a mixed tag with Michelle McCool for later. Dawn: “You’re going to learn who runs this locker room.” I can appreciate the idea of giving them stories, but this is going to be a disaster.

Carlito comes in to see Theodore Long, who hands him a shovel for his first job. Carlito can shovel snow outside to make sure the parking lot is safe. Keep in mind that Carlito has an arm in a sling. Carlito: “That’s not cool!” Long: “You’re right. That’s COLD!”

Video on Steve Austin in Piper’s Pit at Wrestlemania.

Booker T. vs. Heidenreich

No Way Out rematch because WWE wants to run off its audience. Booker jumps him at the bell as it’s time for some revenge (remember that Heidenreich hit him with a chair at No Way Out). Heidenreich gets stomped and chopped in the corner, followed by the hook kick to the shoulder. A boot to the face keeps Heidenreich in trouble and it’s time to go to the floor for a change.

Booker gets posted and you can feel the energy going away as Heidenreich takes over. And we were supposed to buy him as a threat to Undertaker for how long? The arm goes around the post and we hit an armbar as Heidenreich goes psychological. Booker fights up and hits some kicks for the comeback but gets turned inside out with a clothesline. Heidenreich tries the chair again so Booker kicks it into his face. A DDT onto the chair disqualifies Booker.

Rating: D-. It wasn’t good, it wasn’t entertaining, it wasn’t interesting and it wasn’t anything positive. These two are terrible together as Heidenreich is somehow getting worse, to the point where someone as good as Booker can’t even do anything with him. Terrible waste of time here and there’s probably going to be a third.

A Few Good Men Wrestlemania trailer. Still one of the best of the bunch, if not the very best.

Here’s Angle to address the end of Raw. Angle is rather pleased with what he did and we see the rather bloody footage of him attacking Michaels. I mean, it’s in black and white which doesn’t exactly hide what happened, but it is kind of censored. Back in the arena, Angle can’t stop smiling. He thought it would be a fair fight at Wrestlemania but look at how beaten up Shawn is.

Angle was going to break Shawn’s ankle at the Rumble but security stopped him. Then Angle came to Raw and bloodied Shawn on his home turf. At Wrestlemania, it’s going to be an even worse beating when Angle proves that he is the best ever. As for tonight, let’s have a Kurt Angle Invitational. Someone comes out in a hoodie with his head covered but Angle doesn’t buy it. The hood comes off to reveal…..not Shawn. Angle: “I knew you weren’t Shawn Michaels!” The cameraman with the fake mustache though? That’s Shawn. The fight is on with Shawn beating up security until even more of them come out to break things up.

During the break, a calm Long had security escort Shawn out of the building, but there are no hard feelings.

Michelle McCool/Big Show vs. Dawn Marie/Rene Dupree

My goodness they managed to make it worse. Rene has a terribly black eye coming in. He’ll probably have it going out but he has it coming in too. The women start things off with Dawn shoving her down and then getting in a slap. Some standing on the hair ensues but just fires Michelle up for a crossbody. Michelle threatens her with the least intimidating right hand ever and gets kicked in the ribs. Dupree comes in for the French Tickler but a Show distraction lets Michelle get in a low blow. That means Show can come in for his own dance and it’s the chokeslam for the easy pin. This is a thing that happened.

Carlito pokes at the snow until a car splashes him with water. Cole: “HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A JACKET ON!”

Hulk Hogan Hall of Fame announcement.

Here’s a ticked off JBL for a chat. He wants to know why he deserved to have his celebration ruined last week. The common people around here need a hero like him and have no choice: he is their WWE Champion and they need to listen. They must respect him, especially John Cena, who has made a mockery of the US Title and himself. On the grandest stage of them all, JBL has to step into the ring with a piece of garbage like Cena. He goes on a rant about how his family can have the finest things in the world because they don’t have to be like Cena.

The people here have mamas who drink too much because their fathers leave. Now the people want to be like Cena and rhyme or put a ball in a hoop. They want him to provide them with a job but he can only have so many drivers, doormen and gardeners. The people are too stupid to recognize greatness and chant his name so he demands their respect. If he doesn’t receive the respect he deserves, he will walk out of this place right now. JBL does in fact leave and goes to the back, where he tells Orlando Jordan to win the title or be sent back to the hood.

This was an outstanding promo with JBL continuing to be a great talker throughout the last few months. He’s awesome at the comedy stuff but the serious promos were some outstanding ones as well. These things really did come off like he thought he was better than everyone else and that these people who supported Cena were beneath him. I wanted to see someone come out and shut him up, which is a pretty hard thing to pull off.

Chavo Guerrero comes in to see Rey and says that Eddie is waiting to turn on Rey. That seems to get inside Rey’s head.

Big Show and Joy Giovanni are in the back when Funaki comes up. He’s VERY excited because Akebono has challenged Big Show for Wrestlemania. Big Show doesn’t care what kind of a match it is because he’s in.

Raw Rebound.

Wrestlemania Recall: Jake Roberts and Alice Cooper at Wrestlemania III.

US Title: John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan

Cena is defending. A quick rollup gives Cena two but Jordan actually gets in a headlock takeover. Cena isn’t having that and plants Jordan for the Shuffle as we take a break. Back with Jordan fighting out of a chinlock but getting knocked right back down into the corner. Cena: “I HAVE UNTIL FIVE!” The chinlock goes on again but Jordan pokes him in the eye and gets two with his feet on the ropes. You don’t do that to Cena, who pounds down right hands in the corner (without using his left hand to make for a weird visual).

Jordan drops him face first onto the buckle for the break and some near falls. An elbow to the face gets two and Jordan grabs his own chinlock. This one is broken up with a belly to back suplex and they’re both down. The referee checks on Cena so Jordan grabs the chain, which is knocked out of his hands just as fast. Cena initiates the finishing sequence and hits the FU, but here are the Bashams, who left with JBL earlier. JBL is here as well as Cena beats up the Bashams and it’s a belt shot to give Jordan the pin and the title.

Rating: D. Jordan has absolutely nothing but that’s what makes him the right choice to take the title from Cena. There is no one on the roster who can realistically hang with Cena so having a loser steal the title from him was a good way to go. Jordan isn’t going to feel like a real champion so having him be the lame version of the Honky Tonk Man works as well as anything else. Throw in JBL stealing the title from Cena and it’s even better.

Cole is FURIOUS to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Wow that was bad. JBL’s promo and the Angle/Shawn segment were both good but they were never going to be able to overcome everything else. They kept hyping up that we’re a month from Wrestlemania and we’re watching Booker T. vs. Heidenreich and Michelle McCool’s debut match? They’re teasing Rey vs. Eddie but I need something more than Big Show vs. Akebono. I know they have a few more weeks, but they’re taking their sweet time with adding some of the big stuff. We’re officially at four matches and while there is still time, there isn’t that much time. Pick it up a lot.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

The Navy color guard presents the flag and Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem. She may stumble over a lot of announcements but she can sing the heck out of that song.

Never mind as the main song that will be played in the arena is some stupid hip hop song.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

Rating: C+. This was fun while it lasted but the length and ending crippled it. Matt was on fire coming in but he would be made to look like the jobbiest jobber of all time during the feud with Edge. Eventually Edge would send him to Raw and keep Lita, ultimately winning the world title in a few months. This was more or less it for Matt as far as being a big deal.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Eddie slides in the ladder and goes up but a springboard dropkick takes Guerrero down. Another ladder is brought in but Rey dropkicks it into Eddie, sending both the ladder and Guerrero to the floor. A great looking springboard seated senton takes Eddie down but Rey is too banged up to immediately climb. They slug it out on the ladder with Eddie taking over but they botch the first big spot of the match: Eddie tries a sunset bomb but Rey falls off a second late, meaning he falls on Eddie instead of with him.

Back up and the ladder crushes Rey in the corner before Eddie brings in a second ladder. Rey is sandwiched between the ladders so Eddie can hit a slingshot hilo in a painful looking spot. Guerrero goes up but Rey sets the other ladder up like a ramp to get to the top. Eddie is backdropped onto the ladder ramp, sending both ladders and both wrestlers crashing down to the mat. Rey goes up one more time but has the ladder dropkicked out from under him in the second crash in 90 seconds.

Rey hits Guerrero with the briefcase post match.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

Kurt sends him into the buckle but Eugene Hulks Up and does his goofy punching and a Rock Bottom for two. A Stunner gets the same and Eugene is pulls invisible straps down to set up an ankle lock on Angle. Kurt easily gets up and hits the Angle Slam followed by the ankle lock for the submission.

Rating: D. They booked a five minute squash at Summerslam for KURT ANGLE??? Seriously? This was a horribly dull match and Eugene had no business being in there. He barely even acts slow anymore and is really just Hacksaw Jim Duggan minus the patriotism. Thankfully Kurt would move on to face Cena for three months straight after this.

Angle stands on a chair and has the medal placed around his neck.

The Divas are in bikinis and washing a limo. It has the Presidential logo on the door and Vince comes out. “Hey, why not?” THANKFULLY this went nowhere.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Some big shot Republicans are here.

Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

The fans are split here as Jericho chokes away on the ropes. Cena is in trouble but he comes back with a HARD clothesline to put both guys down again. They slug it out with Cena taking over and hitting his usual finishing sequence, including the spinning powerbomb but as he loads up the Five Knuckle Shuffle, Jericho counters into the Walls. After a long crawl, Cena finally makes it to the rope to escape. A belly to back superplex gets two for Jericho but as they get back up, he charges right into the FU to retain the title for Cena.

Chicago gets Wrestlemania 22.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL dollars rain from the sky before we get going. The fight starts in the aisle and a belt shot to the head has JBL in trouble. They head over to some of the equipment with JBL being sent into various metal objects. Batista is whipped into a steel case and they brawl through the crowd to ringside where the champion spears JBL through the barricade. A dazed Batista is sent into the post and we finally get inside the ring.

Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan

Michaels cools his heels on the floor before the bell as the fans are way into this. Hogan easily wins the first lockup and shoves Shawn down a few more times. The fans tell Shawn that he screwed Bret as he hooks a headlock to take over for a few moments. A hard shoulder block puts Shawn on the floor and Michaels stalls again. Back in and Shawn chops away before being whipped onto the top rope for some punts to the ribs. Shawn is crotched on the top and punched in the face for his efforts.

Hogan drops him on the announce table and pounds away with those “ham-like” right hands. Shawn is posted but Hogan breaks the count at nine. Hogan tries to ram him in again but Shawn slips off and posts Hulk instead. The bald one is cut open and Shawn pounds away at the cut. They fall to the mat with Shawn staying on the assault and the cut being in such a goofy straight line that you almost have to chuckle.

Shawn and Hogan make up and massive posing ends the show.

Ratings Comparison

Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Kurt Angle vs. Eugene

Original: A+

Redo: D

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: C+

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C

Redo: C

Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: D

Redo: D+

Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/08/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2005-shawn-vs-hogan-and-cena-vs-batista/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

The main change can be summed up in one word: Cena and Batista. They took the world titles at Wrestlemania and haven’t looked back since. Other than that, there’s not a lot of differences. The main changes would be the alignments of some faces and heels. Eddie is now a heel, as is Orton, who was getting to the tweener stage last year. Edge is also full heel now, but that deserves a special mention later.

The main event however has none of those people to worry about. Tonight, the main event is a clash of two titans. Ok maybe more like a titan against Zeus, as Hulk Hogan meets Shawn Michaels. Now this wasn’t much of a rivalry as much as it was a challenge. At Backlash, the two had teamed up to fight off the evil of Muhammad Hassan and Daivari.

Then on the Fourth of July, Shawn superkicked him to end Raw, leading us here. To say the promos that Shawn did leading up to this were hilarious is the understatement of the year. Anyway, that’s the undisputed main event and also a source of controversy which I’ll get to later. Anyway, let’s get to this. Oh yeah one last note: due to the draft, the titles have switched shows.

Lillian sings the National Anthem which is awesome as always. You can see how much she puts into it and it’s awesome.

The video is great here, although that may be because it’s set to Remedy by Seether, one of my all time favorite songs. We get the usual highlights of the feuds, but then once it looks like we’ve done them all and the song plays for a bit, Shawn kicks Hogan to bring it to a dead halt. It’s just really well done and highlights all of the matches that are coming up tonight.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan is champion here. Jordan won the title from Cena about 5 months ago. He really never did much with the title other than have some bad looking boxing moves, despite being a decent boxer as an amateur. He beat Benoit at the Great American Bash but had to use the turnbuckle to do it. This is Benoit’s rematch.

The Crippler gets a great pop. Always interesting to see a guy go from main eventing to opening the show. Wow I forgot how annoying Jordan was. That all being said, this match lasts 25 seconds. Here’s the whole match: They lock up, Benoit takes him to the corner, Jordan punches him once, Benoit hits the German, crossface, new champion.

Rating: N/A. This was AWESOME. The crowd was losing it as soon as he got the crossface on and so was I. I won’t give it a rating but if I did, instant A. The crowd is completely fired up now and they think they can’t miss a thing now. GREAT way to start the show. I loved this.

Since there was next to nothing to say there, here’s the aftermath of it. They would have three rematches. One would last longer than this, clocking in at an earth shattering 49.8 seconds. It led to some very funny segments with Benoit trying to find things he could do that lasted longer than the match. Again, this was AWESOME.

Eddie is in the…HOLY CRAP IS THAT VICKIE??? She’s got red hair, a MUCH nicer voice and is thin. Ok, now I could see him marrying that. I’ll go into what they talk about later, as the angle is without a doubt the dumbest I’ve ever seen and deserves its own discussion.

There are soldiers there from the military hospital. That never stops being cool.

We recap Edge vs. Matt. Holy crap where do I begin here? This is one of the best stories of all time. Notice I didn’t say storyline there, because it was a real event. Matt and Lita were dating, and she left him for Edge. This became public knowledge and Edge kept teasing that Matt would come and beat him up for it.

Matt was at ROH for awhile, and then in what was one of the most shocking things I can ever remember, Matt showed up on Raw from out of nowhere, stunning everyone including the IWC by shouting that he’d see everyone at Ring of Honor. Yes, ROH was mentioned by name on WWE television.

The key to this was simple: the announcers weren’t told it was coming. How in the world are they supposed to respond to it? It threw everyone off and was a huge success as NO ONE saw this coming. If you want to credit Edge’s rise to the top to one thing, this is it.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

To say Lita looks good is like saying Sly is an ok debater. She’s looking extra hot here, with the jeans and bra but her stomach is all muscular and thin. I can easily see why a fight would break out over her. Edge is just about booed out of the building. The pop for Matt is huge. If there was ever a time that he should have been pushed to the moon, this was it. This is likely to be a shoot and not a regular match. Yep, it’s a shoot.

If this was a work, then give these two freaking medals. I know at least some of those shots were legit. This might be the hardest hitting match I’ve ever seen. Other than a spear through the ropes like he did to Foley, everything is a strike that you might see in a UFC fight. Matt’s head gets opened up and after a bunch of stiff shots to it, the referee stops it. I know that part was a work, as it’s a bad cut but not horrid.

Oddly enough, Matt would go on to cleanly win the next two matches before losing to Edge in a ladder match and having to leave Raw. It looks bad now, but he would redeem himself. The replay shows that the post spot where Matt got cut was a work, as he more or less crawls forward to get in position. Even still, very fun match.

Rating: B+. For what it was, this was great. For a wrestling match, it was BAD. However, I loved it for how brutal it looked and how great Lita looked, so while a lot would go the opposite here and I wouldn’t argue with them, this was fun. It wasn’t good, but it was fun.

There’s two songs apparently, a very bad pop/rap song and Remedy.

And now we have arrived. What we have next is without a doubt the WORST angle I have ever seen. Before I do the recap, allow me to quote Tony Chimmel’s announcement of the next match.

“The following contest is a ladder match FOR THE CUSTODY OF DOMINICK!”

Yes, the stipulation here is that the winner of this match gets custody of an 8 year old boy. Here’s your story: Eddie and Rey were tag team champions yet for awhile they had some one on one matches and Eddie never won. All of a sudden he started talking about a secret, which clearly was that he was Rey’s son’s real father. Eventually they had a match at the Great American Bash where if Eddie won he would get to tell the secret, but if he lost it stayed a secret.

Rey won, but on Smackdown Eddie just said it anyway which was something that I loved. Either way, Eddie gets custody of Dominick but is willing to put it on the line in a ladder match for one more chance to beat Rey. Dominick is at ringside with his social worker, just to make this even more ridiculous. One final note: Rey Mysterio is a lucky man, as his wife is smoking.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

This, as I said, is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of, but the match should be good. Tazz and Cole talk about their sons as Rey hugs Dominick. This is what Eddie and Vickie were talking about earlier if you didn’t get that. We start with a stall as neither guy really moves at all. Yeah that’s a great way to get the crowd more fired up: don’t move. Apparently Eddie is 0-6 vs. Rey in his career. Dominick, the scared little boy, standing next to a guy in a Cactus Jack shirt is funny to me for some reason.

I get that he’s supposed to be scared and I think he’s playing his part well, we don’t need to see his reaction after every move. They bring the ladders in pretty fast and it’s mostly just their regular moves with the ladders involved along with some basic stuff. Rey is off a bit here which makes great sense as he’s worried about his son.

That’s a nice piece of logic and it makes perfect sense here. In a great spot, Eddie is almost up the ladder but Rey sets another ladder up like a ramp and climbs it to stop Eddie. That’s pretty good but the good part is the backdrop off the ladder, which causes both of them to fall and the crash is just great. Cole calls Eddie sick about 10 times which makes me think he needs some antibiotics.

Ok, now this match just gets bad. Eddie hits a big spot to knock Rey out. He’s climbing the ladder and is about to win, and DOMINICK runs in to shake the ladder. Eddie drops down and says things like “Give me a hug” and “I’m going to be your new daddy!” Ok, where do I begin here? Number one, where is security? They can’t stop an 8 year old boy from jumping the guard rail, or I guess in his case climbing it, getting in the ring, grabbing the ladder, or Eddie from raising his fist at him?

Number two, where was that social worker or whatever? Isn’t her job to make sure that the kid is safe? Yes, I’m sure that it’s safe for a child to run into a wrestling ring and shake a ladder with a grown man on it. Number three, isn’t a social worker a local thing? What kind of social worker would allow this to even happen? How could a professional wrestling match determine the custody of a child? And we have another 7 minutes to go! Where is my medicine?

Finally, does anyone else think Eddie sounds a little perverted with what he said in there? He says more than what I said, but it’s just a bit odd sounding. Anyway, Rey does another dumb spot as he hits the 619 into the ladder into Eddie. Yeah, that’s very smart Rey. And you wonder why your knees are shot. Oh and Eddie looking over his shoulder while in position didn’t help things.

After Rey hangs from the cord, (Eddie catches him in a powerbomb but Cole keeps calling it a Spinebuster until Tazz corrects him after seeing the replay) he gets pinned under the ladder as Eddie climbs up. Eddie then proves how stupid these matches can be as he spends like 20 seconds trying to unhook the stupid thing while waving at Rey. Rey of course counters and shakes the ladder and Eddie hangs on the cord.

Who makes those things, NASA? I would have loved it if Eddie had tucked his knees in and Rey had tried to jump up to grab him but he just wasn’t tall enough. Cole and Tazz go one and on about how Eddie has no heart. I love how last year he had the biggest heart in the world, but now it’s revealed that he’s always had a black heart. My goodness I love kayfabe. Where in the world did they come up with that term anyway?

Rey is in trouble again as Eddie goes up but Vickie runs out and shoves him off. Tazz’s line of she doesn’t belong out here made me laugh out loud. You know, if she wore something other than brown she could actually be attractive. She’s probably 40 pounds lighter here if that means anything. Dang how many times does Rey have to be saved here? Anyway, Rey climbs up and Vickie grabs Eddie to hold him back so Rey wins.

Dominick jumps the railing again as Rey’s wife walks down the ramp to join them. Seriously, how bad is security in this building??? Eddie throws a fit as Cole’s commentary tells us just how stupid this whole thing really was. Rey slides back in and with Eddie looking at him the whole time, he nails Eddie in the head with the briefcase. Great way to treat something you worked so hard to get.

Rating: B. The match was fine, but DANG the storyline couldn’t have been shoved down our throats any harder. We get it: Eddie is evil and Rey is about to lose his family. You spent half the match talking about it. This is an example of where commentary can hurt a match. At the end I almost wanted Eddie to win so I could laugh at Cole and Tazz. Either way, the match itself was fine, all stupid parts aside. It’s hard to think that Eddie would be dead in three months.

Jericho cuts a solid promo about how he will win tonight and that Cena is just the flavor of the month. He says that he beat Rock and Austin in the same night and that Cena can’t compare to them. There’s a thread there, and remember this was 4 years ago.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

My goodness why does Eugene keep getting the good wrestlers at this show? Christy Hemme comes out with Eugene dressed as a rather nice cheerleader, so maybe there’s something to Eugene. The story, which isn’t told here, is that Angle had been offering his gold medals to anyone that could last 3 minutes with him. Eugene won them, and now he wants it back. That leads us here as there’s no time limit for this match. Oh joy, oh rapture.

We’re finally at Kurt’s best known look, as he’s bald and has the You Suck chants. The odd thing is that he miss times his pyro so as he’s walking to the ring it goes off instead of when he’s pointing up. Eugene is getting killed for the early part here but comes back and tries a People’s Elbow. Angle pops up and takes his head off with a clothesline to one of the biggest pops of the night. Angle is just killing him here and the fans are WAY behind him.

Eugene looks like a jobber with his offense here and is getting booed out of the building from just a few basic punches. See WWE, there’s this thing called LISTENING. Try it sometime. German suplex is called an Angle suplex as Eugene is just about out of it, drawing another huge pop. I’ve heard of wrestlers being hated before but this is some of the worst I’ve ever seen. Coach says Angle wants to continue to beatdown the beatdown. Right, thank you Coach.

Eugene hulks up and hits a Rock Bottom that gets two. He asks the referee if it was three and then remembers his gimmick is that he’s slow. A stunner gets two as the crowd is as hot as Christy. Eugene pulls down some invisible straps so it looks like he’s scratching his shoulders and puts on the ankle lock. I thought he was emulating his favorite wrestlers. A guy that hates him is his favorite? Whatever.

Angle counters, hits the slam and makes Eugene tap to the roar of the fans. They kept it short, which was a great idea here as last year’s 17 minute match was just flat out stupid. Even Ross is talking about how dominant that was. Afterwards, Angle stands on a chair and has the referee put the medal around his neck which is kind of cool.

Rating: A+. Anytime Eugene gets destroyed like he did here, it’s a great match. He was just annoying at this point. A year ago he was ok I guess as the gimmick of someone that was slow but was a wrestling savant was actually kind of cool. Now he’s just slow as his wrestling ability has been forgotten and he just uses big time finishers. See, that’s how you can tell they’ve given up on him. They had a cool idea and then they just dropped it. That’s never a good sign, period.

The Divas are in bikinis and washing a car for no apparent reason. We see that it has the Presidential logo on it. The window rolls down and Vince is in it. He says why not? A bumper stickers says McMahon for President. Nothing ever came of this.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

We cut back to the arena and just hear a gong. Thanks for the buildup or anything guys. This is just a Mania rematch which happened because Orton wanted to stop the streak. I’ve always liked Burn in My Light better than Voices. Orton standing in front of the pyro doing his pose just looks awesome. Even though he’s a heel he actually gets a solid pop.

I miss this version of Orton. For one thing the color of his skin is a bit less orange. It’s weird seeing Taker come out first. Orton hits the floor early to hide and I can’t say I blame him. Taz seems to agree with me. Taker slaps him in the face and the beating is on. I love seeing Taker grab someone by the throat and throw them into the corner. It’s just awesome looking.

Apparently Orton smiled after taking a chokeslam on Thursday so he’s getting in the head of the Deadman. Sounds to me like he’s getting chokeslamed which usually means he would lose. Old School is blocked by an arm drag which gets two, likely because it was an arm drag. Orton might have a bad shoulder thanks to a match with Benoit on Smackdown.

Orton takes over with punches. Take a guess as to how well that goes for him. BIG boot takes Orton down for two. This is different than their Mania match and I’m not sure if I like it better or not. Just waiting on Taker’s momentum to die until he gets beaten up for like 8 minutes and then we hit the finish. Running knee in the corner has Orton in big trouble.

Taker keeps going after the referee for no good reason. He tries the same running shot in the corner and of course it misses, allowing Orton to take over. He gets a modified elevated DDT as Taker is coming in for two. Orton goes to the knee as no one has EVER tried that on Taker right?

Powerslam by Orton gets two. And so much for a pin attempt as he goes back to the knee. With his good leg he hits the apron legdrop and actually SELLS THE LEG. I’m just so darn proud! He somehow manages to hit Old School but can’t follow up due to the knee. Snake Eyes hit but the big boot can’t work so Orton gets a dropkick to put Taker down. RKO is blocked though.

Tombstone is reversed and of course that doesn’t work but the reversal is reversed into the backbreaker for two. WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO TOMBSTONE UNDERTAKER??? That has never worked once unless your name is Kane. Does no one watch tape anymore? Crazy new generation. Chokeslam hits and there’s the sign for the tombstone.

A fan runs in and it’s Bob Orton. For the life of me I will never get the appeal of him. Seriously, what’s so great about Bob Orton? What makes him a legend, aside from hanging out with Roddy Piper? That isn’t revealed though until later. Taker goes to get Orton and walks into the RKO for the pin. And the fan is Bob Orton.

Rating: B-. It’s nowhere near their Mania match, so that’s not helping things. I like how they had Bob come in at the end though as it adds something new which furthers the story a bit. There would be two more matches with these two before they finally blew it off in the Cell at Armageddon.

This was fine, but I prefer Mania by a lot, as we had seen a lot of this before, 4 months prior to this. Still not bad at all though. It amazes me how Orton has gone from the rookie wonder last year to this in just a year’s time.

They point out some Republican politicians in the crowd and no one cares.

Time to recap Jericho vs. Cena, which Ross messes up by saying Jericho is champion. This was more about Cena vs. Bischoff as they try to redo Austin vs. McMahon. Jericho is his handpicked opponent to become champion. We knew Jericho was leaving after Raw the next night so there was a real chance they would do the one night title switch and put it back on Cena the next night. Jericho is walking to the ring as we see him from the back coming through the curtain as his music plays. That’s kind of cool.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

In a weird sounding thing, Lillian says that Jericho was born in New York. When have they ever worded it like that? This is being built up as rock vs. rap. Yeah that’s great. The Cena pop is huge. Wow Lawler is 3-0 at Summerslam? That’s actually quite surprising. They point out that it’s wrestling vs. brawling here, and mention Rock and Austin. Dude, it’s great, but even I’m sick of hearing about it. On the floor Cena hits….let’s call it a spear I guess.

It’s kind of just a running tackle that they call a spear. Ross surprisingly says he’s not a Cena fan. He says that he tells it like it is, which makes me laugh even harder. This is pretty much dominance to start, as JR uses the word sycophant. Dang how much foreshadowing are they going to do? Ross is being kind of a jerk here as he keeps telling Coachman to shut up. For once I agree with Ross. Coach uses Rock lines which make me shake my head.

The commentary is more interesting than the match here as Jericho is pretty much dominating. Top rope superplex is cool. In a cool looking spot Cena goes for the shoulder block and Jericho slides between his legs. You know Jericho has two of the worst finishers of all time with the Lionsault and the Walls. When did they ever win anything when he was a heel? By the way, the STFU was a few weeks away at this point. He does however use the top rope leg here. You can tell he’s still not entirely comfortable with being the top star, but he’s getting there.

FU is blocked into a DDT, which was foreshadowed by the feet of Jericho kicking. That’s the natural counter to everything I guess. We have very loud dueling chants of let’s go Cena/Jericho. At the time, Jericho just failed as a heel because he was far too much like his old face persona. A lot of his movements and mannerisms are the same, which is why his current persona works much better. It’s completely different than his old one was and there’s little likable about it.

Five moves are countered, namely the You Can’t See Me. Jericho’s epic counter you ask? He rolls over. I love how “big” moves are blocked so easily at times. The Walls of course do nothing at all but get a face pop. Cena goes for an FU from the second rope which doesn’t work.

Jericho gets a running start but Cena grabs him and in a very cool looking sequence, hooks him in a tilt a whirl up onto his shoulder to FU him for the finish as JR yells louder than he did when Austin was champ. That ending was very cool looking.

Rating: C. This felt way too short. Cena was beaten up almost the whole time but in the end of course he hits his big move to knock off the enemy. It was fine for a PPV match I guess, but it was far from special. They would have another match the next night where the loser was fired. Jericho lost and would leave for almost 3 years.

WM 22 is in Chicago.

Recap of the JBL vs. Batista feud which more or less is them having a match at the Bash but Batista gets disqualified. That makes JBL want this to be no holds barred.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. JBL

JBL makes it rain 100 dollar bills to get the fans to cheer. They find that they’re JBL dollars to make them boo. The speed at which this crowd changes is amusing. Batista gets the big pop as the home town boy. However he gets jumped on the way to the ring as I think they figured out that this just wasn’t going to be a good wrestling match no matter what they did so they just made it a big brawl. They go into the crowd for a bit and Batista spears JBL through the barricade to get him back to ringside.

Well that’s one way to do it I guess. Hokey smoke they’re in the ring. For the second time tonight Cole knows the amount of time that the people have been champions. Thanks, but isn’t that a bit of overkill? As usual, a leather belt is brought in. Why would you wear one of those in a match anyway? It’s not like you think it’s safe or something. No one could be that stupid. Wait this is JBL and Batista. Ignore what I just said.

This is just a lot of hitting each other with power moves and the no holds barred thing is kind of stupid. The epic clothesline isn’t enough to stop Batista, so JBL gets some steps. Those are some freaking huge steps. This is just really bad. JBL misses a powerbomb from the steps, not onto them mind you. Batista Bomb but he doesn’t cover, but instead stands there like a moron with his mouth hanging open. The fans chant one more time so I guess you know what’s coming.

Yep, it’s a power bomb on the steps. I’m not impressed either. Of course this ends it. The impact wasn’t that good either as it’s such a far shorter drop that there’s no time to get any momentum behind it.

Rating: D. Yeah this was bad. It’s less than ten minutes and that might have been too long. The problem here is simple: these two are just big strong brawlers and that style doesn’t work against each other and it didn’t here. You need someone of a different style so that the power works well against it. This was really bad though as it was obvious who would win and there was no drama at all. Bad match and no drama means a waste of time.

Recap of the real main event, which I have to give them credit for getting right here as neither of the other matches should have closed out the show. Short version: Hogan and Michaels teamed up to fight the evil Middle Eastern guys, and then they teamed a bit more. Shawn said he had to know if he could beat Hogan, and that’s how we got here.

If I went through all of the promos for this I’d run out of room for how funny they were. I don’t think they were trying to make Shawn heel here but rather the less good of the two guys. This was actually a major match when you think about it and it was treated as such, so what more can you ask for here?

HBK vs. Hulk Hogan

We come back to the arena to dead silence. I mean nothing is going on but the general noise of the fans. Yeah that’s a great way to come out of a good video package guys. A few seconds of this is fine, but it goes on for about 15 seconds. That doesn’t sound like much but it’s a LONG time when you’re just sitting there waiting. Shawn FINALLY comes out to a pop but not a huge one. We still have no commentary.

Shawn prays as he usually does. I wonder if he’s praying to Hogan. Listen to his old promos and tell me he doesn’t sound like he thinks he’s God. The announcers try to make Shawn out to be an evil heel but it’s just failing. Dang the MCI Center needs a new roof. The fans just blew it off. A massive American Flag drops from the ceiling and it just looks awesome. The commentary is just completely biased as only Coach is on Shawn’s side.

Ok Hogan’s entrance is now at four minutes long. Neither has ever lost at Summerslam in a one on one match. That’s saying a lot. Shawn, forever the strategist, thinks it’s a good idea to try to overpower Hogan. Do I even need to make fun of that? A LOUD you screwed Bret chant starts up. It could be debated that such a chant could be directed at either person. They try to play this off as being the biggest match in Hogan’s career. That is just flat out funny.

This isn’t even the biggest match of Hogan’s career in this building, as this was where Hogan vs. Sting happened. Michaels’ bumping is just funny here as he’s selling a punch like a shot from a cannon. They talk about the big men that both men have beaten. Shawn is credited with Vader (he never beat him though), Diesel and Sid. Ok that’s all fine. They mention Hogan beating Andre and Coach mentions Big John Studd. This gets dead silence.

While it’s true that he beat John on some house shows, I don’t think he ever did it on a major show or a national broadcast, so I can see the skepticism there. Shawn slaps Hogan twice and actually gets away with it. They go to the floor with Hogan just killing him, but eventually Hogan goes into the posts head first. Amazingly enough he rubs his head, and right where he rubs it he’s bleeding. What are the odds of that?

You have to love that Shawn is beating up a 52 year old man. You have to love that this match isn’t stopped for the blood yet Matt vs. Edge was. Do you mean that Hogan isn’t as important as Matt Hardy? Shawn with a sleeper that Ross says is cutting off the flow of blood to the brain. Wouldn’t that kind of be helping Hogan since blood is flowing from his head? They ask how many people can say ended Hogan with his blood on their hands. I’m thinking Brock Lesnar there boys.

Shawn hits what I guess is supposed to be a forearm but Hogan just kind of falls over. Shawn goes for ANOTHER forearm but the referee goes down because of it. Do we really need that in this match? Just let one or the other get the win. The fans want Bret. Where in the heck does that come from? Shawn then applies the absolute WORST sharpshooter of all time.

He looks like he’s bent over in prison or something and Hogan looks like he’s in a half crab, which isn’t his fault as Shawn didn’t put it on right. Shawn got the leg crossing wrong I think. Yeah he did it’s supposed to be with the other arm. We have another referee here by the way. JR says that both men are looking for a win. I thought they were both looking for the way to Sesame Street. The other referee is down too. Yeah this isn’t overkill at all.

Shawn with a low blow that JR calls a low blow and then that it doesn’t need a description. Isn’t calling it low a description? Chair is brought in and barely hits Hogan as he falls early from it and Shawn lets it slide over the top of his head. Sweet Chin Music connects which gets a huge pop as Shawn circles Hogan to cover him correctly so Hogan can do the power kick out. Yep there it is.

Ok, now I can get that when Hogan is hit by an elbow or a splash that he can kick out like that, but this is a hard blow to his head. That makes NO sense, even from a wrestling perspective. We get the boot and leg drop, complete with Shawn’s insane selling that’s drawn a lot of criticism.

If Hogan can completely no sell the kick, Shawn can do that for the boot. Post match Shawn tilts face again. I say tilts because he never really turned in the first place. Oh and all of a sudden the commentators love him again too. The famous poses play us out.

Rating: B-. It was what it was, but no one believed Shawn was going to win. However, he should have. Hogan is certainly the bigger star, but he’s not a full time wrestler at this point and Shawn was. If Shawn wins here, he’s instantly getting a huge push as he just beat Hulk Hogan. Now I get that Hogan should win as the bigger star, and if they were both leaving or both staying you would be absolutely right, but that’s not what they were doing.

Shawn was staying and a win for him would be a huge push. Yes Hogan is the best ever, but he’s not even active at the moment so it looks like Shawn lost to some guy that just came back and beat him. I just don’t agree with this booking at all.

Overall Rating: B. This is a show where the overall product is much better than the individual matches. Batista vs. JBL is the only truly bad match on the card. The rest are good if not quite good. I don’t think there’s a true classic anywhere here or even a great match, but with everything being at least decent save for the WHC, this is a solid show. I’ll recommend it, but not completely.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2004
Date: August 15, 2004
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,640
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second biggest show of the year and that could go multiple ways. Smackdown has been getting better as of late but it’s still not very good. Raw has had its moments, but with the second biggest match from the red show being HHH vs. Eugene, they’re working underneath a pretty low ceiling. Let’s get to it.

The theme is the Summer Games, giving us an Olympic themed opening. I’ve always liked these as they’re actually rather entertaining.

The opening video looks at the big matches, but Diva Dodgeball is in the middle, even before the Intercontinental Title and Smackdown World Title matches. I’m thinking no on that one.

Dudley Boys vs. Paul London/Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio

Spike recently joined his brothers and since there are no other teams on Smackdown, Kidman and London are still feuding with the Dudleys. Rey just walks out to his music, which takes a lot of the impact away. D-Von hammers on Kidman to start but gets armdragged down for his efforts. London comes in for an assisted moonsault and the dropkick gets two.

A rather hard clothesline takes London down and it’s off to Spike for some screaming stomps in the corner. Bubba comes in for the trash talking elbow drop and the villains start taking turns working on London. Straight right hands break up the comeback attempt but Bubba hits D-Von by mistake. Spike gets kicked away and that’s enough for the tag off to Mysterio.

The springboard legdrop gets two on Spike and a hurricanrana out of the corner makes things even worse. A reverse DDT plants D-Von and it’s back to Kidman for a top rope back elbow to Spike. Everything breaks down and a BK Bomb gets two on Spike. Bubba gets double dropkicked to the floor and Spike takes a Hart Attack of all things. The 619 sends Spike into the shooting star from Billy for two with D-Von making the save. Back in and Kidman walks into the 3D to give Spike the pin.

Rating: C. Well that was a dumb ending. You have Spike as Cruiserweight Champion and have him pin a Tag Team Champion to open one of the biggest shows of the year? You couldn’t have Rey pin D-Von here to let the fans feel good? This didn’t help anything other than building Spike up, which was done as well as it was going to be with the Cruiserweight Title win. Bad decision here, in a match that didn’t need to have this kind of a finish.

We recap Kane vs. Matt Hardy. Lita slept with Kane to get him to leave Matt alone, actually being stupid enough to believe it would work. As a result Lita is pregnant but still loves Matt. Therefore, she’s marrying the winner of this match. Somehow, not even the most bizarre stipulation in Summerslam history.

Kane vs. Matt Hardy

Matt goes straight at him to start and hits what I guess was a middle rope Side Effect for two. The middle rope legdrop to the back of the head gets the same and a weird looking tornado DDT (with Matt landing on his stomach) gets the third two. Kane finally hits a clothesline to take over but a Lita distraction lets Matt low bridge him to the floor.

The slingshot dive sets up a Twist of Fate for nine and probably the best chance Matt had. Lita throws in the bell and distracts the very stupid referee so Matt can clock Kane for two. Kane kicks him in the face and goes up but gets caught by Matt. That’s fine with Kane, who hits a super chokeslam for the pin and Lita’s hand.

Rating: D. Short and bad here, with Matt having less than no chance throughout. Matt has been destroyed and turned into an idiot this whole feud and Kane winning in the end was the only way it could go. Now just get to the wedding, which is destined to be the most entertaining part of this whole thing. The match was nothing that couldn’t have been done on Raw but with a nice looking ending. That’s also Matt’s last WWE match for about a year as he had a bad knee injury and was then released in April.

Randy Orton doesn’t want to hear about anyone being upset because tonight is a night for celebration. John Cena cuts him off and promises him some merch. He’s an Orton fan, but a quick fan poll seems to suggest that they don’t agree with him. And so it begins.

Booker T. vs. John Cena

Match #1 in a best of five series for Booker’s US Title. They slug it out to start with Cena hitting a clothesline for one. Cena gets in the Throwback for two so Booker crotches him on top to cut that off in a hurry. Booker throws in a You Can’t See Me and drops a knee for no cover. A jumping kick to the face cuts off Cena’s early comeback and it’s a camel clutch to keep things slow.

That’s broken up so Booker goes with a spinebuster and side slam to drop Cena again. The ax kick misses though and Cena hits his running clothesline out of the corner. That just earns him a flapjack into a Spinarooni but Cena hits a quick FU for the pin, ignoring Booker’s shoulder being way off the mat.

Rating: D+. That’s the third straight fast match here and that’s not a good thing on a show like this. They didn’t even have seven minutes here, which is the kind of match that could have been on Smackdown instead of wasting it on this show. Cena is likely losing the next two matches to put him in a hole which is fine, but I could have gone for a better start to this thing.

Eric Bischoff (“the head cracker in charge of Raw”) comes in to see Theodore Long and points out the revolving door to the Smackdown GM office. Bischoff advises him to enjoy it while it lasts but Teddy tells him to get to steppin.

Intercontinental Title: Batista vs. Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Hometown boy Edge is defending and Batista is on fire at the moment. Speaking of Batista, he knocks Edge off the apron during his entrance and we hit the Y2J chants early on. A hard elbow knocks Jericho down and a shoulder does it again. Edge comes back in with a chop block to break up the Batista Bomb though and it’s time for some Canadian violence on Batista. Snake Eyes gets Batista out of trouble but Jericho grabs his boot to slow him down a bit.

A clothesline puts Batista outside and leaves Edge alone in the ring….where he’s booed out of the building. Well that’s rather surprising. Batista gets sent face first into the steps and we’re down to Jericho vs. Edge in the ring. Edge gets the better of the fight but gets loudly booed when loading up the Edgecution. The Walls attempt gets a much better reaction, though Edge reversing into a small package isn’t as well received. Back up and Jericho pokes him in the eye, setting up the full Walls of Jericho.

The hold is pulled back into the middle until Batista finally makes a save with the clothesline. Edge takes Batista down with an Edgecution for two as Jericho is banged up on the floor. The spear is loaded up but for some reason Jericho cuts Edge down on the way to Batista. A spinebuster gives Batista two on Jericho but this time it’s Edge sending the big man outside. That gives us another battle of the Canadians and another loud Y2J chant. Batista gets dropkicked off the apron but the distraction lets Edge spear Jericho down to retain.

Rating: D+. The odd crowd reactions threw things off here, though they’re not quite as out there as you might think when you remember Edge teasing a heel turn as of late. Now that being said, you would think the hometown deal would be enough to overcome the recent cheating but that wasn’t the case here. On top of that, the match didn’t have a ton of heat and was a string of one on one matches instead of all three at once. Edge retaining is fine, though Batista is getting bigger and bigger every week.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle in a Wrestlemania rematch. Eddie cheated (kind of) to win at Wrestlemania in Angle’s last match for about five months. Angle is back now, though while he was on the shelf he cost Eddie the WWE Championship so Eddie is out for revenge and to prove that he can hang with Angle on an even playing field. This has been the best set up feud for the whole show and the match should be able to live up to the hype.

Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Angle has Luther Reigns with him. Feeling out process to start as the odd fans are cheering for Angle here. Shockingly enough Angle is more than fine against Eddie on the mat so Eddie tries for the ankle. He’ll settle for a headlock instead so Angle reverses into a quick keylock. Eddie armdrags him straight into an armbar but it’s time to start the rolling German suplexes. That doesn’t work either as Eddie reverses the second into the ankle lock as the wrestling lesson continues. Angle reverses into the real thing but Eddie puts his own on at the same time. It doesn’t last long, though cool idea there.

A rope finally saves Eddie so Reigns gets in a cheap shot like a good lackey should do. That means another ankle lock before Angle finally switches gears a bit for something close to an STF. With Eddie down, Angle starts untying Eddie’s boot but the delay lets Eddie get in a kick to the face. It’s right back to Eddie’s ankle until Eddie gets in an Angle Slam of his own. Eddie makes his comeback with right hands but the ankle isn’t exactly sturdy.

It’s fine enough for the Three Amigos so Eddie goes up for the frog splash, only to get caught with the running belly to belly superplex. Angle’s Angle Slam is countered into a DDT and another frog splash attempt misses. The Angle Slam gets two so Angle rips the boot off to set up the ankle lock again.

The roll through sends Angle into the referee so Eddie hits Angle and Reigns with the boot. Of course Eddie throws the boot away and falls down instead of hitting a frog splash, which would have made more sense. Eddie hits the frog splash for two a few seconds later and yells at the referee on the kickout. That’s enough for Angle to pick the ankle and put on the grapevine to make Eddie tap.

Rating: C+. What exactly are they saving all the time for on this show? That’s the first match to break thirteen minutes and nothing else has even hit nine. There are three matches left on the card and nearly an hour and a half left in the show, but nothing has even hit fifteen minutes yet. Did Diva Dodgeball need the extra time?

Anyway, this wasn’t all that great as the first few minutes were looking like the start of a thirty minute classic but then they just jumped the stolen finishers (which is becoming a rather tired trope) and had Angle break the ankle down for the win. This was dying for another eight minutes of build towards the finish but for some reason this show has to go as fast as it can because of reasons.

We recap HHH vs. Eugene. HHH found out that Eugene was his favorite wrestler and agreed to use him to help get the World Title if HHH could eventually make Eugene want to quit. In other words, it was a story that was way more complicated than it needed to be and Eugene, who started off as a very fun, unique character has turned into the clueless putz that cost HHH the title. Therefore, HHH must destroy him to prove that he’s better than a mentally disabled person who doesn’t know how to wrestle but imitates wrestling he watched on TV as a kid. In the second biggest Raw match on Summerslam. Of course.

HHH vs. Eugene

No one is at ringside for a bit of a surprise. HHH wins an early slugout but Eugene elbows him in the face so it’s time head outside. That means a chance for HHH to hide behind Lilian Garcia, allowing him to take over again. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but Eugene blocks a suplex to the floor. Some right hands in the corner set up a Flair Flop and HHH has a bad knee. Believe it or not, it’s a way for HHH to sucker Eugene in again and outsmart him for a cheap shot.

A backbreaker keeps Eugene in trouble as JR freaks out of the fake injury. He certainly must have loathed Bret Hart then. The fans think Eugene sucks so his comeback isn’t exactly well received. HHH offers a handshake but this time Eugene is ready for him and pulls it into a Rock Bottom. The People’s Elbow is countered with the spinebuster to a face pop as the trip into the bizarre continues. HHH chokes away and it’s back to the floor for a whip into the steps.

Back in and HHH slowly beats on him, setting up the sleeper because this match needed a sleeper. Eugene escapes and hits a backdrop, followed by a middle finger and the Stunner. That’s enough to send HHH outside for a breather though and here’s Ric Flair because HHH is actually in trouble. The big boot into the legdrop connects but Flair gets knocked off the apron. Eugene goes up top and dives into the Pedigree but spins out, setting up a Pedigree on HHH instead. Flair puts his foot on the rope so it’s just a two, earning an ejection. Cue William Regal to knock Flair cold with the brass knuckles as the Pedigree finishes Eugene.

Rating: D. Well thank goodness for that. After a few months of getting frustrated, the great and mighty HHH came back and beat the comedy act in a match at one of the biggest show of the year. All it cost Eugene was all of the good will he built up too, but at least HHH got the big win. This whole story was really stupid and a huge waste of time, which really doesn’t work when it boils down to HHH needing almost fifteen minutes to beat a comedy guy. It was just bad all around and didn’t help anyone other than HHH, who didn’t get that much out of it anyway.

And then, Diva Dodgeball with the Diva Search girls basically in swimsuits while the Raw women are in matching gear. Before the game starts, Coach tells us about some trash talk that happened after Raw went off the air. They proceed to play dodgeball, which is in no way shape or form an excuse to have good looking women in barely existing clothing running around. The Diva Search girls dominate and win. Trish yells about the refereeing and then blames Victoria, triggering a fight. This took up nearly six minutes, which is about seven minutes too long.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Undertaker

No recap for this one because the build hasn’t exactly been thrilling. JBL won the title earlier in the summer and needed an opponent so Undertaker showed up. For some reason JBL decided he wasn’t afraid of Undertaker and brought out a mini version, who Undertaker wound up beating up instead. Then JBL brought in Orlando Jordan as his Chief of Staff because he needed a designated lackey.

Undertaker knocks him to the floor early on and the beating begins, including JBL’s arm going into the steps. Back in and JBL hits a quick swinging neckbreaker before going up top for a good looking top rope shoulder. An armbar doesn’t get JBL anywhere so Undertaker pulls on the arm as well and hits Old School. Undertaker grabs an ugly triangle choke until Jordan pulls the foot under the rope.

With that not working, Undertaker hits a big boot to JBL but misses a running version in the corner to let JBL take out the knee. The leg is wrapped around the post and a Jordan distraction lets JBL smash the leg with a chair. Undertaker gets sent into the barricade so Jordan can get in a few shots before sending him inside. The fans start the Wave as the leg work continues.

The leglock goes on as JBL is smart enough to just throw on a hold and let the fans die down. It’s not exactly thrilling for the fans at home but it’s a smart idea here. Undertaker fights out and pulls JBL down into a quickly broken kneebar. They head outside again with Undertaker hitting the apron legdrop. The announcers start chanting for the Spanish table but JBL snaps the throat across the top for a breather. Again JBL takes too long going up though and it’s a superplex for two.

Jordan throws the belt in for a shot to the head and the very delayed near fall with Jordan grabbing the hand to slap the mat. Undertaker finally beats up Jordan but eats another Clothesline From JBL. With the referee still down, JBL rains down right hands in the corner which is only done to set up the Last Ride. Jordan is back in with the belt so Undertaker takes it away and hits JBL for the DQ.

Rating: D. The thing is, it’s not even the worst match in the world. It felt like it was straight out of the HHH/Ric Flair Greatest Hits playbook with Jordan being the worst Flair impersonator of all time. The leg work was fine and JBL still wasn’t horrible yet, but the ending was pretty lame with Jordan being pathetic and JBL’s finisher not being able to do much damage. It’s not so much horrible or even bad as much as it is uninteresting and uninspired, which made for a very long seventeen minutes.

Post match the beatdown continues with the bloody JBL being chokeslammed through the roof of the limo. JBL does a stretcher job, guaranteeing a rematch. Of note: at some point during the match, a fan tried to climb onto the limo and security kept him from not only, you know, climbing onto the limo but also breaking the roof and injuring himself/ruining the spot.

Cole shows us a replay and tells us to listen. There’s no sound.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging after winning a battle royal and pinning Benoit in a tag match. Here’s your exchange that would never happen today: Lawler: “Hey JR you got a camera on you?” JR, dripping with sarcasm: “Yeah right here in my pocket.” The fans are all over Earl Hebner with the YOU SCREWED BRET chants as they stare each other down at the bell. Benoit drives him into the corner and takes Orton down for a rather early chinlock. A test of strength goes to Orton but he misses a knee drop.

Benoit is right back with the armbar and armdrags him down into another armbar. That’s reversed as well with Orton grabbing a Sharpshooter of his own. Benoit slips out of that and tries a Crossface, sending Orton to the floor where he posts Benoit to really take over. A second posting keeps the champ down and Orton drapes him over the top rope for good measure.

Something like a DDT on the apron gets Benoit out of trouble but he misses a dive through the ropes, sending himself HARD into the barricade. Back in and Orton hits the over the shoulder neckbreaker for two, followed by the chinlock. Benoit fights up for stereo crossbodies but gets up first for a northern lights suplex. A release German suplex has Orton in more trouble and the Sharpshooter goes on.

That’s good for two arm drops until Orton makes the rope so they’re both exhausted. Some rolling German suplexes put Orton down again but he gets his feet up to block the Swan Dive (FREAKING OW MAN!). The cover is countered into a Crossface but Orton rolls out. Back up and Benoit tries it again but Orton spins him around into the RKO for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a masterpiece but it was a good, long, well put together match with a completely clean ending that made Orton look like the better man. The new heel on top is long overdue and it’s nice to see Orton, who has gotten a lot better in a hurry, win the title here. Benoit’s title reign was very respectable and he beat HHH a few times, which is about as good as you’re going to get. It’s a rather good main event, though not exactly a classic.

Post match Benoit gets back in and shakes his hand, demanding that Orton be a man. Orton shakes his hand and Benoit leaves in peace, allowing Orton to pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is two different halves and it’s as noticeable as you’re ever going to see. The first four matches are all short and need more time while the remaining four, as in the big matches, either fail to live up to the hype or just aren’t very good in the first place. This show needed to be reshuffled a bit with some extra time being given to a few other matches. Stuff like Diva Dodgeball and the opener could have been cut to give the time to other matches. It would have done the show a lot of good, but there was only so much this show could do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2004
Date: August 15, 2004
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,640
Announcers: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz

Dudleys vs. Paul London/Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman

The BK Bomb (Sky High) gets two on Spike and everything breaks down. London dives off the top to the floor to take out Bubba as Rey and Kidman hit a Hart Attack on Spike. 619 to Spike sets up the Shooting Star for two but D-Von makes the save. Rey dives at D-Von but only hits barricade before Ray kills London with a clothesline. Kidman tries to fight off both big Dudleys on his own but walks into 3D with Spike getting the pin.

Matt Hardy vs. Kane

Booker T. vs. John Cena

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Batista

Jericho counters the Edgecution into a Walls attempt but Edge counters that into a small package for two. Edge rolls through a cross body for two but now the Walls go on full. Jericho pulls him away from the ropes and Edge is in big trouble but Batista makes the last second save. He sends Jericho into the post but gets caught by a tornado DDT from Edge for two.

Chris is back up just in time to break up the spear to Batista, because why would you want the monster taken down? Batista hits the spinebuster on Jericho for two as Edge saves. He escapes a spinebuster from Batista as well before getting two on a rollup to Jericho. Jericho makes another comeback on Edge with the fans entirely behind him. The bulldog takes Edge down but he has to dropkick Batista down, allowing Edge to spear his fellow Canadian down to retain.

Rating: C-. This came off like a forced heel turn for Edge and the full turn would be coming very soon. Jericho being the big favorite was only somewhat surprising as he was a native countryman but you would expect Edge to have been a bit popular there. The match was nothing special but the idea was to keep Batista down which is a nice rub for him and his time was coming soon.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

A boot shot to the head puts down both Angle and Reigns but Eddie throws the boot down and drops to the mat like a good cheater. The frog splash gets two and the fans changes sides again. Eddie complains to the referee and the ankle lock goes on again, this time forcing the tap out.

HHH vs. Eugene

They slug it out to start and HHH stomps him into the corner. Eugene comes back with an elbow to the face and a backdrop, sending HHH rolling to the floor. An ax handle off the apron puts HHH down and the booing begins. As in people are booing Eugene. This sounds like a good time for a sidebar.

In other words, the Eugene character was a full on success. This is where WWE screwed everything up. Instead of just letting Eugene be what he was and make occasional appearances to pop the crowd (or open house show matches beating some annoying heel), they pushed it too far. The minute they put him in a story about the world title with main event level guys, it was all over.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Now Old School connects and a downward spiral gets two before Taker cranks on a triangle choke. Back up and they trade big boots but Taker has to knock Jordan off the apron. JBL takes him down and wraps the leg around the post before cracking the ankle with a chair. The bad knee is rammed into the announce table and we head back inside with JBL busting out a Robinsdale Crunch of all things.

Taker chokeslams JBL through the roof of his limousine for revenge and to fill in some time. JBL does a stretcher job.

Wrestlemania 21 is in LA.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

Orton puts Benoit over his shoulder for a powerbomb but steps forward into a neckbreaker for two in a nice move. We hit the chinlock which is actually a smart move here. Back up and both guys hit cross bodies for a double knockout. They slug it out with the champion taking over via a series of forearms to the head. Orton blocks the rolling Germans but gets caught in a northern lights for two.

Orton celebrates as Benoit leaves but Chris comes back and demands that Orton be a man and shake his hand.

Ratings Comparison

Dudleys vs. Billy Kidman/Paul London/Rey Mysterio

Original: B-

Redo: C

Matt Hardy vs. Kane

Original: B

Redo: C

John Cena vs. Booker T

Original: D

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. Edge vs. Batista

Original: C

Redo: C-

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: C-

Redo: B

HHH vs. Eugene

Original: D

Redo: D-

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: D

Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

Original: A

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: D

What was I thinking on that Undertaker match?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2004
Date: August 15, 2004
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,640
Announcers: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz

Once again another year has passed since Summerslam. Isn’t it odd how that’s always the case? Either way, things are indeed different now, as Chris Benoit finally broke through the glass ceiling and won the World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania 20. Tonight he faces Randy Orton who is 22 years old and has all the potential in the world. When he won a battle royal for the #1 contender spot, no one knew what to think other than oh craphe might win it.

Other than that we have JBL vs. Taker for the Smackdown Title, which means little as JBL was already sucking badly, although for a different reason. In this case, JBL just had no resume as the character was brand new and two months after debuting he won the world title. Why should we buy into this character? That question was never actually answered so for the most part we didn’t.

Oh and there’s some guy named Cena who was on the roster last year but couldn’t manage to get on the show. He’s wrestling Booker T tonight in the first of a best of 5 series for the US Title. That series wouldn’t end for two months, which in itself is just stupid. Let’s get to this, as the card looks….interesting I guess you’d say.

The entrance video is set to Rush’s Summertime Blues, so that’s a bit of a perk. The idea is that this is the culmination of the summer, and because of that we get a humorous video of WWE guys in Olympic events. Oddly enough Angle isn’t shown in that. For some reason, the Smackdown Title is listed last, and I mean completely last.

It’s billed after everything, which isn’t saying much for it. Oh also I forgot to mention, the third big match is Angle vs. Guerrero in a Wrestlemania rematch which should be good. The arena looks very cool with the screen shaped in a half circle over the entrance to the arena so it looks kind of like the sun setting.

Dudleys vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman/Paul London

Here we have Spike as the new boss of the Dudleys. He’s the Cruiserweight champion and is heel now as well. He’s apparently been “calling the shots” for some time now, although no one has ever figured out what moron green lighted this angle. No one took Spike seriously, ever, so it’s stupid to think that they would here either. Anyway, Spike took the title from Rey so Rey got two of his jobber tag team friends to help him out and this is what you get.

For some reason that I have no idea of, I remember this match being booked and thought it would steal the show. I have no idea what I was on but I’d love to have some more of it. Cole calls something vintage Spike. And so it begins. Two of them in less than two minutes. Did we never notice this before somehow? London and Kidman are the Smackdown tag champions at this time by the way, so yeah, screw that whole defending belts on PPV idea.

That just can’t be done obviously. Rey and Spike finally get together and apparently this is the reason this match is happening. Of course this is the better way to go instead of, oh I don’t know, DEFENDING A TITLE ON PAY PER VIEW? Rey is beating up all three of them by himself. You have to love the super powers that star power gives you. It’s a mess now of course and Rey and Kidman actually use the Hart Attack with Kidman being the powerhouse of the team.

619 leads to a shooting star press but D-Von makes the save. Kidman tries to fight off the two Dudleys that weigh more than 18lbs but eventually gets caught in the 3D and Spike gets the pin. Cole has come to a conclusion: Spike is now the boss of the Dudleys. Thank you for telling us again what you said at the beginning of it.

Rating: B-. I really liked this match. 6 man tags are a good way to open a show as they’re usually fast paced and offer a variety of combinations so if one matchup is bad the rest can balance it out nicely. This was fine here as it was two title feuds combined into one so that’s all good. However, there’s a point to having PPVs. They’re places where big matches are supposed to happen. When I say big matches, I mean matches where titles are on the line.

Lawler in a suit just doesn’t look right.

It’s recap time as our subject right here is Matt Hardy vs. Kane. Here’s the deal: Matt and Lita were engaged, but for some reason Kane hated Matt. Lita slept with Kane to keep him at bay, and now she’s pregnant with his baby. Insert your own soap opera related title joke here. The winner of this match gets to marry her. Yeah I know just go with it.

Matt Hardy vs. Kane

I’ve always loved Lita’s theme at this time. Matt’s is pretty sweet too actually. Kane is finally in his traditional attire so we’re starting to look modern here. Amazingly enough, this isn’t the stupidest stipulation in the history of Summerslam. Matt at this point had more or less no track record to speak of. He was a low level guy and this was probably his biggest feud to date, so he’s the epitome of the underdog here. He starts off fast though.

This was also when he still wasn’t fat and was at least trying very hard out there, which is all you can ask for a lot of the time. Matt more or less throws everything he’s got at Kane inside the first three minutes, including a Twist of Fate on the floor which gets a 9 from the referee (it had a good beat but I couldn’t dance to it do I give it a 65). Anyway, Matt fights with everything he’s got, but it’s just not enough.

This match is just hard to comment on as it’s barely over 6 minutes with a minute of that being the outside sequence. Lita slides the bell in to Matt, and her shouting of MATT doesn’t clue the referee in on the fact that they’re cheating, nor does the bell sound when he hits Kane with it. Screw the company sending the old guys to rehab. Send the referees to an optometrist. Anyway, Kane finally gets going but he’s on offense all of 40 seconds, which somehow is enough.

He goes up top for the clothesline but Matt crotches him. He tries a DDT from the top but gets chokeslamed instead. Matt’s landing of almost trying to sit up and just falling backwards is just great. Lita is of course stunned. The wedding would be tomorrow night and of course, it went bad.

Rating: B. Call me crazy, but I really liked this. It was way to short to be considered great, but in the time they had, it was certainly intense. You could feel Matt and Lita’s nervousness and it paid off. The chokeslam was great too, and Lita’s face at the end was both beautiful and destroyed at the same time. Short but very sweet.

Randy Orton is in the back, being asked by Todd Grisham about his match tonight. Orton is talking about how he’s going to win tonight when Cena comes in. He’s a rapper at this point and completely annoying. The showdown between these two does look cool though, considering what was coming. Cena asks the fans who will win and they say Benoit. This was nothing special, but it still looked cool just for the future aspect.

Booker T vs. John Cena

This is the first match in a best of 5 series for the title, which I think I kind of like. However, this took TWO MONTHS to get through. How is that possible? PPV, Smackdown, House Show, Smackdown, PPV. There, one month, 5 matches. This feud wouldn’t end until October though, so what’s the point? Cena is still a rapper at this point, and is rocking the Blue Jays old school jersey which is awesome.

Again, THIS IS SHORT. I don’t get the point in having all these 6-7 minute matches. Either way, the problem here is simple: the fans don’t care because they know there’s at least two more matches with these guys, so why should they care about this one? Nothing is going to happen at the end of it, so why should they care? I certainly don’t and I can’t imagine they did when it was actually happening either.

Cena was really starting to find his audience here and in the coming months would be launched into the main event of Smackdown, although he would have perhaps the worst world title change in the history of Wrestlemania as that show was all about Batista and HHH.

Either way, this is just not that interesting of a match as they can’t waste their best stuff with four matches to go and the fans aren’t that interested. That being said, maybe it’s good that this match is about six and a half minutes. Booker spins up and Cena calmly picks him up and FUs him for the win. This could be a textbook definition of a quick and uninteresting finish.

Rating: D. Like I said, they couldn’t use much of their best stuff, no one was interested, and it was way too short. Either way, this was just a bad match and it showed really bad. They would go on to improve huge, but this was a very bad way to start.

Teddy Long, still the Smackdown GM, is joined by Bischoff who would be fired in about a year. They lay the groundwork for Raw vs. Smackdown at Survivor Series and talk about Eugene.

Diva Dodge ball later tonight. Oh this isn’t going to go well.

IC Title: Batista vs. Jericho vs. Edge

Edge is champion here, having returned from injury and declared war on Evolution, although I don’t remember him ever getting to HHH. At the time, Batista was the hottest thing in wrestling to say the least. He was getting great face pops every time he came out, while Jericho was a face at this point. Edge of course was awesome, but he still didn’t have that spark he had pre injury.

His style has completely changed here as you can tell he’s tentative about going too hard, but at this point it was finally starting to wear off. Batista is also rocking a near mullet here with much longer hair than you’re used to. Batista had been using this big running clothesline to knock people out lately, similar to Luger’s forearm. Jericho as the home country boy gets a big pop. Edge still has his old music, but gets a bigger pop as Toronto’s own, according to Lillian.

We already are getting the Batista shoulders in the corner which still have that little stomp before them. The red boots aren’t working for him either. Edge stops Batista from hitting the Bomb on Jericho, which makes no sense as it would have made it a one on one match, but what do I know? Lawler says that Edge is opportunistic, so maybe Lawler is smarter than we all gave him credit for.

JR says that he’s complex. Didn’t that aspect of his character get thrown out a long time ago? Edge just towers over Jericho which is very funny looking to me. Batista is down on the floor so it’s Canadian on Canadian violence. Surprisingly the crowd is behind Jericho. I mean they’re REALLY behind Jericho. Edge is actually getting no reaction at all while you’d think Bret Hart was the guy he was fighting.

Batista gets back in and Edge goes for a spear on him, but Jericho knocks Edge out of the way. WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? It would wipe Batista out and then it would be one on one again, and since Batista had to make a save to end the Walls of Jericho just a second ago, you’d think that Jericho would want it one on one with Edge.

Anyway, Batista, who for a guy that is supposed to be a killer is on the floor a lot, is on the floor again as Jericho and Edge go at it one more time. This time, Jericho knocks Batista BACK to the floor, allowing Edge to hit the spear to keep the belt to no reaction. I mean the place is silent. It’s very weird indeed.

Rating: C. This was kind of a bunch of revolving one on one matches and while it didn’t fail, it didn’t really work either. Batista needed more seasoning, but screw that I guess because he was put into the main event just a few months later as he won the Rumble and headlined Mania in about 8 months. Either way, this was more about Edge vs. Jericho and while that’s fine, it was supposed to be a triple threat and from that standpoint it was just ok.

Ad for the Benoit DVD.

Recap of Angle and Eddie. They fought at Mania with Eddie loosening his boot so Kurt couldn’t grip it for the ankle lock, leading to a roll up for the pin. Angle then was chokeslammed from a balcony, breaking his leg. He was upset that he had a real injury and Eddie faked one, and says that Eddie has to cheat to beat him.

Angle, the GM of Smackdown at the time, screwed Eddie out of the title in a cage match, so Eddie was ticked. That leads us here, and it really doesn’t sound that good when I think about it.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Luther Reigns, who did nothing at all, is with Kurt here. Eddie comes out in the lowrider, which I’ve always hated. What’s the point of it anyway? Oh look I have a car that can bounce. Yeah that’s really cool. Cole calls Angle a former Grand Slam Winner. For one thing, does that sounds like he won an eating competition at a Denny’s? Either way, how can he be a former winner of it? If he’s won it once, he’s always won it right?

They do a nice technical sequence to start with neither guy being able to hold an advantage for that long. Eddie even goes for the ankle in a nice touch. Angle gets a key lock on Eddie, which Tazz corrects Cole for calling an armbar. As Eddie is getting up, Tazz calls it an armbar. You have to love the thought process sometimes of Tazz, or his lack thereof. Angle finally ends this friendly natured competition with a German, but Eddie gets a full ankle lock on which just looks weird.

Angle counters and hits the slam, then his own ankle lock. In a cool looking spot, Eddie grabs his ankle and for a few seconds, both have ankle locks on the other. Eddie’s is broken though as he apparently has a titanium leg, because being in the hold for about a minute won’t make him tap. There’s having heart, and then there’s just being stupid. This is the latter.

Oh the straps were pulled down inside of 5 minutes. This has been like an Angle match in fast forward. They go to the mat…again. This is like a bad MMA fight where they’re just laying on each other the whole time and no one really does anything. The fans are just completely dead for it as even I’m getting drowsy. Seriously, they’ve been wrestling for about ten minutes and at least 7 of that has been submission holds.

Eddie has a spot whispered to him by Angle, who for no apparent reason has unlaced Eddie’s boot, which in theory would help his ankle by letting it loosen up a bit, but what do I know? Eddie hits a belly to back suplex to get out of another chinlock, but because he’s facing Angle, it’s called an Angle slam. I can’t stand that. Why is it that when anyone else does it it’s an average move, but when Angle does it it’s devastating?

The same holds true for a lot of people. JBL used a hard clothesline which the Steiners did for years, Jericho has a Boston Crab which is a bad example because it never beats anyone, and Lawler uses a fist. Why are these moves so devastating? It’s not like you’re going to get better at them with a lot of practice or strength like the chokeslam or a power bomb.

Anyway, Eddie comes back with punches and the third one is just after his stupid dance, so naturally the power behind it triples. Benoit is ripped off even more by the snap suplexes followed by Eddie going up for the splash. Angle does the run up the ropes belly to belly which is just flat out cool. Luther is shown and my theory that he’s completely pointless is confirmed as he hit Eddie once about 10 minutes ago and this is the first we’ve seen of him since.

After Angle hits a thumb to the eye, which Cole would make you think was a .45 caliber bullet to the face, Angle gets the boot completely off to expose the sock covered ankle. He gets the ankle lock on for about the 12th time after getting up from a frog splash to get Eddie to tap out. Seriously, Reigns was completely worthless here.

Rating: C-. This was just flat out boring for the first 8-10 minutes as it was nothing, and I mean nothing but submission holds. Now that’s fine in theory, but DANG it just got boring after awhile. It was nothing but chinlocks, headlocks and ankle locks. Now once they stopped doing that it got miles better but prior to that it was just flat out horrid.

The dozen ankle locks didn’t help either as it just got stupid after awhile. It made the hold look very weak as Eddie held on for probably three minutes total in it without ever giving up. It just didn’t work at all for me and while others would think it was great, this wasn’t good for me.

We recap HHH vs. Eugene. This is why this era from the WWE is looked down on so much. We have probably the best stable since the NWO and their leader is fighting a guy that’s challenged. Anyway, this was actually a pretty creative storyline in my eyes.

Eugene was a guy that was a wrestling savant, meaning that while he had no actual training or anything of the sort, he had learned from watching wrestling for many years, and then got trained (on camera) by Regal, making him into a complete wrestler. In reality, Eugene was played by Nick Dinsmore who was a very talented technical wrestler. He’s the undisputed god of OVW, having won the heavyweight title 9 times and the tag titles 10 times or something like that.

Think of Lawler in Memphis kind of. Anyway, Eugene was saved by the Rock when people were making fun of him and he said that HHH was his favorite wrestler. Instead of HHH getting someone competent to help him though, he enlists Eugene as an honorary member of Evolution on a night where Eugene was guest GM.

Eugene booked Benoit vs. HHH for Vengeance for the WHC, which Eugene accidentally cost HHH. He then beat up Regal, who was Eugene’s mentor. That leads us here. The problem here is simple though: at the end of the day, while that storyline at least sounds good, IT’S STILL HHH VS. A SLOW GUY. Doesn’t that just sound silly?

HHH vs. Eugene

I now remember why I hate Eugene: you can never get his song out of your head once you hear it. It’s freaking addictive. Why does the annoying character have to be from Kentucky? Oh yeah and Eugene is freakishly strong. In case you don’t remember don’t worry, the announcers will tell you every 38 seconds. HHH shoves Lillian down so Eugene helps her up but gets beaten on for his trouble.

HHH fakes a knee injury, prompting the referee to throw up the fake X. It’s pretty good I think though, as it is pretty good as a way to fool the marks in the audience. HHH jumps Eugene and immediately the crowd starts cheering him, which Lawler and Ross try to pass off as just due to the Canadian fans being bizarre. The thing that I forgot to mention was that the fans absolutely hated Eugene.

The problem was simple: he was used WAY too much. When he debuted he was a character that a lot of people actually liked. It was something that hadn’t been done this well before and the fact that he was actually a very good worker helped things a lot as well. The problem was that they screwed it up the same way they screwed up Santino.

He’s fine in small doses, maybe once a week, but there was a Raw where Eugene was in 6 separate segments and the fans just got sick of the sight of him. His character was never meant to be involved in serious storylines but they did it anyway. The WWE formula has long since been if a little bit of something works, then a lot of it will work a lot better, which simply isn’t the case and hardly ever is.

It certainly wasn’t here, and it never clicked in the WWE’s eyes. They blamed Eugene for not being able to get over, since the booking of WWE can never be wrong can it? Either way, it bombed bad after this, even to the point of them trying to turn him heel, which also failed completely. You can tell HHH is younger here. He’s only an eight time world champion. Eugene does other people’s moves, such as the Rock Bottom.

He goes for the People’s Elbow, but HHH has had enough of this bull of stealing moves, and he lets Eugene know about it by nailing him with a AA spinebuster. Lawler gets in a good line about Eugene: he wasn’t even his mother’s favorite and he’s an only child. I forgot to mention: Eugene is Bischoff’s nephew which is why he’s around at all. Eugene actually Hulks Up before flipping HHH off and stunning him as the fans are cheering for some guy named boo.

Flair comes out as Eugene kicks HHH in the face and drops a leg on him. This is stupider than words can describe. He even gets a pedigree but Flair saves him. The referee throws Flair out and Regal nails him with knuckles. HHH takes the time to hit the pedigree and end this finally.

Rating: D. Again, it comes down to this: HHH IS BEATING UP A SLOW GUY. The fans hated him, the match was too long, it’s not believable, and the feud was just bad. It was complete overkill for the character and after this, aside from a tag title run that ended in injury, he never did anything else in WWE. This was just a waste of 15 minutes and I can’t believe this was all they could come up with for HHH.

Diva Dodge Ball

Yes, it’s the girls from the Diva Search, most of whom got hired, against the established divas in a game of dodge ball at the Raptors’ practice facility. Oh and look they’re all wearing bras and shorts.

Here are the rosters if you’re interested: Amy Weber, Joy Giovanni, Tracie Wright (never hired), Maria (hot as a dirty blonde), Christy and Michelle (pre plastic surgery) vs. Victoria, Gail Kim, Jazz, Stacy, Molly and Nidia. That right there shows how stupid the Diva Search was. All but one of the 6 finalists got jobs anyway. Apparently Trish is the captain. The Diva Search girls win.

Rating: F-. This was a waste of time and was for 12 year olds. I hate stuff like this. They actually wasted 5 minutes on this, and yet we get no recap for the Smackdown title match.

Smackdown World Title: JBL vs. Undertaker

We get literally no backstory here as they say these two are having a match and then the lights go out. Yeah that’s great guys. Basically, Taker just said he wanted a title shot and got one. This was just after JBL had won the belt so I think this was his first feud as champion. No one, and I mean no one, bought him as champion because literally this is how it went: Eddie wins title, JBL debuts as the rich guy, challenges, challenges again, wins title.

There was no buildup to his character at all. He had been Bradshaw for years now and all of a sudden he’s a self made millionaire and apparently has been for many years? Yeah, we’re just going to believe that I guess. It was just completely from left field and no one wanted to see him as top heel and it followed him for years as a stigma about him, which I think was unfair and should be blamed more on the bookers.

Until this, his career highlight was 6 days or so as European Champion, and now he’s challenging for the world title as a DiBiase rip off? Starting to see why this didn’t work for about two years? Taker’s entrance as always is awesome as he more or less walks through a tunnel of fire. Apparently JBL attacked Taker on Smackdown a few days ago. Thanks for that great story Cole. Taker is back to the Dead Man now.

JBL still has the big white limp with the horns. He’s accompanied by Orlando Jordan, somehow even more of a waste of space. I think I hate Nick Patrick. He’s just annoying as a referee. JBL is wearing orange/red tights that are just a complete and utter failure. Tazz says he’s not sure how to beat the Undertaker. I thought a pin would work fine but maybe there are separate rules for him. JBL actually goes up top and hits a flying shoulder block that looked pretty good.

Old School connects, which actually is vintage, and Cole reminds us of that. Jordan gets kicked in the head but JBL gets a shot into the knee to end any offense that Taker was on. The fans start doing the wave. I don’t know if that’s a cultural thing, but I’ve always found it rude. It’s not like the match is terrible or anything. If I’m one of the guys in the ring, then I don’t like the fact that the fans are apparently not interested in my match but are interested in throwing their hands up for no apparent reason.

JBL hits the clothesline and of course Taker kicks out of it since that move just completely sucks. Since this is a Taker match, the referee gets bumped and since it’s Nick Patrick, he stays down for about two days. In between we have all kinds of interference and finishers, including a standard clothesline that is called the finisher, which stuns Cole that Taker more or less pops up from it. Well DUH.

Taker does the power bomb out of the corner spot that he beat HHH with at Mania 17, but as he goes for the tombstone, Jordan tries to hit him with the belt. Taker does it instead and the referee wakes up just in time to DQ him. Post match, we get the best spot of the show as Taker beats JBL onto the limo then chokeslams him through the roof.

The spot is ok, but it’s great because it led to one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen that I wish I could find a picture of. JBL is in a halo and more or less has his hat tied to his head. It’s funnier than it sounds.

Rating: B-. This was ok I guess, although I think everyone knew Taker wouldn’t get the title off of JBL immediately. There was a rematch two months later at No Mercy that was ok I suppose. This feud was just filler until Cena was truly ready to go, so nothing of note happened here. It was fine though.

Wrestlemania 21 is in LA.

Raw World Title-Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

At the time, Orton was doing the thing where he was like look at me and bow to my greatness. He won a battle royal to get this shot, but that’s not important enough to be told. Fink has mic issues, which Jerry plays off by saying that even Fink is choked up. Ok so they do cover the battle royal thing, but dang did they take long enough? Benoit of course gets a huge pop. I think Lawler has a crush on Orton.

He says that Orton could be a model for statues. Dang Jerry just go blow him already. Test of strength is more or less a tossup. The first good part of this match is these two using all kinds of wrestling holds. It’s very interesting to see Orton working very well on the mat as that’s certainly not something you see from him very often. Granted it may be Benoit making him look good, but at least Randy is capitalizing on it.

Benoit hooks the Sharpshooter and you’d think everyone had been given money, food and sex. Good lord they blew up over it. It’s countered and Benoit’s shoulder is hurt, so the VIPER strikes on it. Did you know Orton is a viper now? Not sure if that caught on, but Orton is a viper! This is a good back and forth match so far. Benoit hits the suicide dive to the floor but Orton moves.

Benoit slams into the wall in an absolutely sick looking spot. I don’t know if that was planned or not but if not then goodness. Actually if yes then goodness as well. It’s time to chinlock it up as every Orton match comes complete with one. It’s like the toy in a Happy Meal, just not as entertaining. They do a double cross body, which looks awesome too. These two can work really well together actually. They go back and forth even longer and another Sharpshooter is put on.

Oddly enough there’s been limited Crossface attempts. However, I think that’s the best way to go as it wouldn’t make sense for Benoit to try it. Why should he? He’s worked the back and knees all match so why would he, a thinking wrestler, go for the neck and shoulder? He doesn’t and to me that’s a sign of a great wrestler. Finishing moves are fine, but they should make sense.

That’s one thing Ric Flair was always great at. Watch his matches and his offense, or at least 90% of it is either basic offense or working on the legs. That makes such perfect sense and it fits that he uses it like that. He never focused on the neck or back or anything like that, and he shouldn’t have. Benoit goes up and tries the headbutt, but Orton I think tries to roll out of the way.

Either way, the top of his head rams into Benoit’s head and it just looked painful. Just as soon as I type that big long rant about how smart Benoit is, we get the crossface, which I guess I see why that is done in this case because nothing else has worked, so he puts it on him and cranks for all he’s got as a last ditch effort.

Anyway, Orton gets the ropes and in one of my favorite finishes ever, Benoit tries for the Crossface again but Orton gets behind him and nails the RKO for the quick pin and the title. If it tells you anything about the match, the fans give them a standing ovation. The look on Orton’s face is just perfect as he’s completely stunned and it looks like he’s saying did I really just do that? Lawler’s orgasm could stop a drought.

Orton celebrates with the title as Benoit comes back in. He sticks out his hand and shouts for Orton to be a man. Orton shakes his hand as Benoit’s music plays us out. To be fair, he leaves and lets Orton be alone in the ring as he should be. The problem here though is the next night they had another great match for free on Raw. That match still haunts us today though, as it officially kicked off HHH vs. Randy Orton.

Yes, that was the night where Orton was kicked out of Evolution. Note: THAT WAS FIVE YEARS AGO, and they’re still feuding. The whole cool moment was wasted too, as Orton had the title a mere four weeks, losing his first title defense to, who else, HHH at Unforgiven.

HHH would hold it until Mania where he would drop it to Batista. I hate that as it’s more of HHH dominating the belt while another young guy has a short feud after being built up as the young phenom so well, but that’s Raw booking in 04 for you.

Rating: A. This was a great match. They were back and forth the whole time and while I don’t think anyone expected Orton to win, I think it fit really well as Benoit just couldn’t beat him no matter how hard he tried. It made Orton look like the better man and that’s how it should have been done. This is a very good match that you should check out if you haven’t seen it before.

Overall Rating: C+. This show is really up and down all night between decent stuff and flat out boring stuff. The main event is by far the best match of the show, but that’s not really a surprise. Eddie and Angle is something I definitely could see going either way but it just didn’t do it in my case.

JBL and Taker I thought was good but not great. The opening two matches were good enough, but HHH and Eugene along with the divas thing were just horrid to say the least. I’ll recommend it, but have a remote ready to fast forward some stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 24, 2005
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re finally done with No Way Out and that means we’re officially on the Road to Wrestlemania. After this week’s Raw, we now have an official main event with John Cena winning the #1 contenders tournament, earning a Smackdown World Title shot against JBL. I wonder what they’ll talk about. Let’s get to it.

Here are Sunday’s results if you need a recap.

This show is sponsored by Friends Of JBL, meaning we’re starting with a look at him surviving No Way Out’s main event against Big Show.

We look at Batista signing to face HHH, leaving Cena to challenge JBL.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are challenging in a rematch from No Way Out. The fans are behind Eddie to start as he shoulders Danny into the corner early on. Some kicks to the arm allow a tag to Rey, who snaps off a headscissors for two. It’s already back to Eddie but the Bashams get him into the corner, setting up a super spinebuster (cool, though not as cool as it sounds) to send us to an early break.

Back with Eddie grabbing a swinging neckbreaker for a breather but Rey is down on the floor. Danny hits his own swinging neckbreaker for two as we see Doug sending Rey into the steps during the break. I can appreciate the bonus details like that. Eddie gets over for the corner for a tag but there’s still no Rey to keep the theme going. Danny cranks on Eddie’s arms before a quick powerslam gets two. A half crab lets Doug do something in the match but he lets go to take care of Rey again.

Eddie fights out of the corner and walks over for the tag to Rey, which wasn’t as awesome as it should have been. Everything breaks down and the champs hammer away in the corner. Rey’s springboard moonsault press gets two but Doug is right back with an Angel’s Wings for two. Eddie is right back in but the 619 hits him in the ribs by mistake. A belly to back suplex into a top rope headbutt gets two with Eddie diving back in for the save. The 619 into the frog splash into Dropping the Dime retains the titles.

Rating: C. This is a much better use of the Bashams as they’re fine for a midcard heel team who wins on occasion. Rey and Eddie’s tension continues, which you can all but guarantee for a match at Wrestlemania. They can have some better than usual tag matches on the way there though and that’s a nice way to go for a few weeks.

Stills of Cena vs. Angle.

The women are in their locker room when Orlando Jordan, in a tuxedo, comes in (after being invited like a gentleman should). They are all invited to JBL’s celebration tonight and it’s black tie. Good thing they have wrestling gear (or whatever you call what they’re wearing here) and formal wear packed on the same night.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his invitational. He’s not in the mood to play around tonight so let’s get this going fast.

Kurt Angle vs. Matt Martel

Martel is better known as Matt Striker. Hang on though as Martel won’t let Angle finish talking. He wants to know how it felt to lose to Cena. Angle punches him in the face and gets two off a German suplex, which he pulls up at two. Another suplex sets up something like an STF (which Tazz calls a freestyle bow and arrow) into the Angle Slam. Angle pulls him up again so it’s the grapevined ankle lock for the easy win.

Post match Tazz asks Angle about Shawn Michaels challenging him to Wrestlemania. Angle leaves without saying anything.

JBL has a lot of friends arriving for later.

Heidenreich is writing a poem and ignores a question about Booker T. to read it. The poem is about getting disqualified against Booker because Heidenreich is crazy.

Stills of the barbed wire cage match. We also see some new footage of JBL crawling out from under the ring as Big Show posed on the steps. Then Batista and Cena showed up to clean house.

It’s time for the celebration, featuring a bunch of food on tables in the aisle and well dressed people.

JBL is so banged up that he can’t wear his cowboy hat. He isn’t postponing the celebration either because he has earned this moment. It’s his entrance into the Hall of Fame.

The Bashams and Jordan are in the ring as everyone else is drinking champagne. Jordan introduces JBL, who takes his sweet time getting to the ring, with his music even starting over. Jordan gives another introduction and unveils a portrait of JBL as champion. JBL finally gets to talk and says he loves everyone, which is appropriate in the City of Brotherly Love. Philadelphia needs him because none of their sports teams are champion, but they can live through him.

This Sunday, he made the impossible look routine when he beat Big Show. JBL cannot lose and that is why Batista didn’t come to Smackdown. He likes the best things in life and is the kind of champion these people can never be like. In the 242 days he has been champion, he has proven his greatness, which he will do again at Wrestlemania.

JBL says it’s time to start the party (before the ice sculptures of his cowboy hat melts) but here’s Big Show to break a lot of stuff. Uh, you lost clean on Sunday dude. Stop being so uppity. The numbers get the better of Show, who gets tied in the ropes. Cue Cena for the save and I think we have a tag match for later. Naturally the portrait is broken over JBL’s head and we cut to a crowd shot for something. Indeed, here is Long to make the tag match. This went a good while and the setup took longer than it needed to, but Cena’s reaction was very strong.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki

Chavo is defending and kicks away at Funaki to start. Some stomping has Funaki in trouble but he’s back up with some right hands. Chavo goes face first into the buckle but the tornado DDT is broken up. What looks to be an Alabama Slam out of the corner sees Chavo driven back first into the buckle, only to have him get to his feet (with some help from a rope) for the Gory Bomb to retain.

Rating: D+. Another match without enough time to do much but giving Chavo the pin over the former champion is a good idea. He won the title in a gauntlet match and didn’t pin Funaki, so it makes his reign look more legitimized here. It wasn’t anything worth seeing but at least it went the right way.

Post match Paul London runs in and chases Chavo off.

Undertaker vs. Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns

Good grief how long does Undertaker have to spend beating these two up? Reigns drops to the floor so Undertaker can beat up Jindrak without any problem. Undertaker beats Reigns down and triangle chokes Jindrak for the easy win.

Post match Reigns yells at Jindrak and lays him out until referees break it up.

Here’s Theodore Long to find out the fate of his job. He’s proud of what he has done as GM but here’s Carlito to say he’s looking forward to Long being fired. Long brings in Linda McMahon to bring up the energy….and we’re robbed of the old Wrestlemania theme song because she’s just on the screen. Long gets to keep his job, and even steals Carlito’s apple. Next week, it’s payback time for Carlito. I’m guessing he’s healthy again because the angle ended in a hurry.

Big Show/John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan/John Bradshaw Layfield

Show has a taped up head and JBL has tape on his ribs and left arm. For some reason, Tony Chimel nearly laughs as he reads Big Show’s weight. Joined in progress with Show chopping and throwing Jordan around. He wants JBL and even reaches Jordan’s hand over for the tag which doesn’t come. Instead it’s off to Cena for the first time and the beating continues, with JBL running from Cena.

JBL does trip him from the floor though and then sends Cena hard into the steps, only to be stalked by Show. Now JBL is tilling to come in (how heelish of him) but a single punch to the bad ribs means it’s back to Jordan. A clothesline gives Jordan two and JBL makes sure to choke with the tag rope in the corner. Cena is in trouble so Show comes in to wreck some people, including a big shoulder to Jordan. The FU plants Jordan again but Cena doesn’t cover. Cena: “THIS IS WHAT WE DO!”. The Shuffle of all things gets the pin for a change.

Rating: D+. Just a short form house show main event here, with Cena and Show destroying Jordan in the end, which is how something like this should have gone. There was something rather satisfying about seeing Jordan get run over by Show and JBL laying there while Cena wrecked Jordan was rather appropriate. In other words, I like seeing Jordan get beaten up.

Overall Rating: D. This wasn’t the strongest show but all that matters is Cena vs. JBL and that got a bit of advancement in the end. They have a few weeks to really hammer that match in, though the ending to the title match is about as obvious as you can get. There is still time to set some stories up, though Reigns and Jindrak splitting isn’t going to do it. Not the worst show, but it was all about one story and they spent a lot of unnecessary time talking to get there.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2002
Date: August 25, 2002
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 14,797
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

Not much of an opening video other than the theme song over shots of the crowd.

Opening sequence.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Ric Flair vs. Chris Jericho

Ad for a Hogan DVD.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

The Un-Americans are ready to give the greedy Americans more. More of the Un-Americans that is.

Tag Team Titles: Goldust/Booker T. vs. Un-Americans

Christian gets two on a backbreaker, which JR says works on the back. Something like a Boss Man Slam gets Goldust out of trouble but Christian grabs a front facelock. As you might expect, that means a missed tag so Goldust has to catapult the champions into each other.

Rating: C. The match was fine but the ending brought it down a good bit with the standard WWE style finish hurting things a lot. At least we had a good match to get there and the Un-Americans are still fine for heel champions. The Test stuff gets annoying but you had to know it was coming as soon as the ref went down.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

This is Raw vs. Smackdown and Benoit is defending. A kick to the leg sends Benoit outside but he comes back in and easily takes Van Dam down until Rob starts spinning around to escape. The release German suplex drops him again though and Benoit starts in on the neck to set up for the Crossface later on.

Video on the Un-Americans to set up Test vs. Undertaker.

Undertaker vs. Test

Undertaker goes into the crowd and grabs an American flag for some posing.

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock. Lesnar won the King of the Ring tournament to earn this show and Rock won the title at Vengeance. Brock has run through the company but this is by far his biggest test to date.

Undisputed Title: Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock

Lesnar is challenging and has Paul Heyman in his corner. The fans are ALL OVER Rock as he charges right into a belly to belly, further banging up his already injured ribs. Some backbreakers have the fans cheering for Rock though and Brock takes him outside for a beating in the crowd.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Ratings Comparison

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A-

2017 Redo: A-

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Original: B

2013 Redo: C

2017 Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B-

Un-Americans vs. Booker T/Goldust

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Test

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

The Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A

Still a masterpiece.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/05/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-2002-best-summerslam-ever/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/07/summerslam-count-up-2002-the-performance-of-a-lifetime/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6