Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

We have arrived right back where we started. There is something special about a WWE show in Madison Square Garden and there was really no other option for such a big milestone. You could argue that it’s a triple main event with Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar and Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle, but really this is going to be about HHH, Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels, as it really should be. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s Raw results and Smackdown results if you need a recap.

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful. That’s one of those Wrestlemania traditions that always makes me smile.

It’s so strange seeing Wrestlemania in an arena instead of a stadium.

The opening video starts with Vince McMahon in the dark and turns into a talk of the history of Wrestlemania. That means old Wrestlemania clips and I’m always good with those. WWE does know how to do these historical videos and you know they’re going to do it well on such a big occasion. The wrestlers talk about the importance of the Garden and how big this one night really is. We go back to Vince with the narration talking about how it all begins again, and the camera pans over to Shane, holding Vince’s newborn first grandson. That’s a really, really cool idea.

The ramp is on the left but there’s a small video screen opposite the hard camera as a nice homage to the old days in the Garden.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Show is defending for the third time since winning the title in October. Before the match, Cena says he isn’t losing to a gorilla like Big Show and implies that Show has small genitals. They stare each other down and Cena starts sticking and moving in a smart strategy. Well smart enough until Show shoves him to the floor.

Back in and a powerslam gets two on Cena, who gets a very loud chant from the crowd. Another slam keeps the pace slow and Show easily pulls him up for a suplex. Cole is hitting every Show line he can get, including the size 22 5E boot, the typewriter head and the frying pan chop. I don’t even want to imagine how much Vince is in his ear on this show. Cena’s comeback is cut off by a superkick and the standing legdrop gets two.

Show slaps on a cobra clutch and of course Cena fights up after a few moments. A raised boot in the corner sets up an FU (that never stops being impressive) for two and Cena is STUNNED. He’s so stunned that he grabs the chain but the referee takes it away, allowing Cena to hit Show with the brass knuckles, setting up another FU for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The crowd pulled this one up a bit though it’s still not a very good match. Show wasn’t exactly going to do anything at this point and that was on full display here. That being said, Cena hitting the FU for the pin was all that mattered and they nailed the finish. What more can you ask?

Jonathan Coachman is walking through the back and runs into a few people, such as Tom Prichard and Teddy Long, before finding Eric Bischoff and Johnny Spade/Blaze/whatever else. Eric has a job for him tonight: go find the Undertaker because there have been reports of strange noises.

Evolution (minus HHH of course) is in the same stairwell where Randy Orton kicked Mick Foley down the stairs to start their issues last June. We see some clips that really set up tonight’s match, mostly including Orton and Evolution beating up Foley and later, the Rock. Orton says it all begins again here, right where it started. Nice stuff here, as you can tell they’re working hard for Wrestlemania.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Booker T./Rob Van Dam vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. La Resistance

Booker and Van Dam are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Van Dam starts with Dupree and sends the French guy flying off a monkey flip. It’s off to Booker to beat up both Dupree and Conway so it’s Bubba coming in for some more successful forearms to the back. Say it with me: the fans want tables. For those fans who aren’t impressed enough by WRESTLEMANIA I guess.

Booker hits the side kick but Jindrak has the referee, allowing D-Von to make the save. Jindrak and Cade, thankfully in matching gear, take over with left hands to the face but Dupree tags himself in to steal a near fall. The double arm crank allows Conway to insult USA, which fires Booker up enough to hit a spinebuster. The hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house as everything breaks down. Jindrak breaks up a 3D to Booker, who hits the ax kick into the Five Star on Conway to retain.

Rating: D. For the last few weeks, I’ve said that I didn’t think this warranted being on Wrestlemania. I’d now like to change that to knowing that it shouldn’t have been on Wrestlemania. The match doesn’t even run eight minutes and Booker was in there for more than six of those. Just do the Dudleys vs. Booker/Van Dam, or any of the regular teams for that matter. I mean, the better move would have been to not do the match and let the show be a bit shorter but that’s never been WWE’s style.

Coach investigates the sounds and finds Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan (BIG pop for those two) in a small room, pulling their clothes back on. Heenan insists that it’s NOT that kind of thing because they were playing cards. Heenan: “He was dealing!” Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young pull them back in, despite their screaming protests. Heenan: “I haven’t been well! My doctor would never allow me to go!” Coach just walks away. To be fair, this is way above his talent grade.

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho. They were best friends and made a bet over who could get together with Trish Stratus or Lita first. The girls found out about the bet and Trish snapped, only to have Jericho say he was falling for her. Jericho and Christian’s team suffered though and he attacked Jericho in the name of tough love. Christian even hit on Trish a bit as well, but then put her out of action with a Walls of Jericho. Now it’s time for Jericho to fight back in the first big showdown.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho wastes no time by punching him in the jaw and adding a clothesline for a bonus. A backdrop puts Christian on the floor and Jericho follows him out with a springboard dive. Back in and Christian backdrops him over the top and the big crash has Jericho in trouble for the first time. Back in and Christian cranks on the neck, followed by a chinlock for a change of pace.

A spinwheel kick gives Christian two but they ram heads to knock each other down. An exchange of rollups with an exchange of cheating get two each so Jericho goes with the bulldog. The Lionsault hits knees though and Christian grabs a backbreaker for two of his own. Christian grabs a Texas Cloverleaf to work on Jericho’s recently injured knee, which the announcers don’t actually mention.

That’s one of the reasons I was looking forward to watching this show with the TV beforehand. The Cloverleaf makes more sense when you know Jericho is coming in with a recent injury, but the commentators don’t bother mentioning it here, making the Cloverleaf seem a bit random. Jericho slips out and sends Christian to the floor, followed by a butterfly superplex for a delayed two. I believe there was a botched attempt that has been edited out of the Network version.

They’re both down so here’s Trish, with Lawler saying she can make jogging a spectator sport. An implant DDT gives Christian two and he drags Trish inside. Jericho makes the save and checks on her but Trish accidentally elbows him in the face. Christian’s rollup gives him the surprise pin.

Rating: B. This whole story has always been one of my favorites so it’s cool to see the match be a good one. It’s certainly no classic but Christian winning was the right call and the story can move forward from here. Both guys have gotten something out of this story and Trish is advancing as well. Good match, easily the best thing on the card so far.

Post match Trish apologizes to Jericho as Christian runs back in. Trish tries to hold Jericho back and then slaps him in the face over and over, morphing into Evil Trish (works for me), allowing Christian to hit the Unprettier. Christian and Trish leave but stop to kiss on the stage. This worked for everyone, especially Trish who works far better in this role.

A serious Mick Foley is getting ready in the back but Rock pops in to hijack the interview. Rock is very fired up to be in the Garden and it’s time to have the cameraman see who all is here. We have Hurricane and Rosey (another case that isn’t as random when you’ve seen the recent TV), Don Muraco and Jimmy Snuka and of course the people, with the camera going inside the arena for a shot of the crowd. They’re going to take care of Evolution tonight, if ya smell what the Rock (Foley: “And Sock!”) is cooking. You can tell Rock is extra fired up here.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

The energy is really high here. I always forget how young Foley looks here, mainly because he’s only 38. He retired at 34 so it’s not like he’s some guy who is fifteen years past his prime. Rock N Sock clears the ring to start, wisely making sure to double team Batista. Rock and Flair start things off with Rock offering his own strut. They head to the floor with Flair poking him in the eye (pop for that), only to get backdropped down.

Foley is right there with the elbow off the apron so it’s off to Foley vs. Orton (another pop from the hot crowd). That sends Orton bailing to the floor, because going outside against Mick Foley is a great idea. Back in and Orton get tied in the Tree of Woe for a rather low (Or is it high?) right hand. Batista low bridges Rock to the floor though and drops him face first onto the barricade to take over. Flair comes in (Flair: “All right!”) for some of the loudest chops I’ve ever heard him throw but one strut too many allows Rock to get in a clothesline.

Just because he has to, Flair goes up (Lawler: “Oh no.”) and get slammed down. Batista comes in but quickly allows the hot tag to Foley. Some right hands in the corner have Batista in trouble but he comes out with the big running clothesline to send Foley outside. Orton sends Foley hard (and loud) into the steps and it’s Flair coming in for more loud chops. These are even more impressive with Foley wearing a shirt so the sound is toned down a bit.

Orton rips at Foley’s face and hair as they’re doing a great job at building the energy up for the hot tag. Batista comes back in and walks into a swinging neckbreaker. A double clothesline to Batista and a forearm to Flair are enough for the tag to Rock and house is cleaned quickly. The numbers game cuts him off and Flair loads up his own People’s Elbow, with more strutting than should be legally allowed. It takes so long that Rock nips up and spinebusters Flair, setting up the real People’s Elbow, with a Rock strut because of course, for two.

Orton walks into the Rock Bottom for the same but Batista comes in for a Batista Bomb. That’s only good for a near fall in the same way Orton won at Survivor Series last year. The second hot tag brings in Foley to finally face off with Orton, meaning the double arm DDT connects in a hurry. It’s time for Mr. Socko but Orton grabs the RKO out of nowhere for the pin. Foley looks around to see what happened and Orton is shocked, both adding a great touch.

Rating: B+. This one has really grown on me over the years with all five guys playing their roles well. You knew Rock and Flair were going to ham it up out there and Batista is really starting to figure out the power monster role. Then you have Foley, who came off like the old serious version out there and looked like someone who could still beat anyone on the right night. Orton winning on a surprise RKO was the perfect ending with he and Foley reacting to it perfectly. Just a great performance from all five guys and an outstanding spectacle that paves the way for Orton vs. Foley.

Rock and Foley are upset by the loss but get the big ovation with Foley getting the bigger share.

Video on last night’s Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Heenan’s line of “I wish Monsoon was here” is one of the only things in wrestling that makes me tear up a bit.

Here’s Gene Okerlund to present the class:

Bobby Heenan (still playing to the crowd as he’s presented)

Tito Santana (one of my all time favorites)

Big John Studd (represented by his kids)

Harley Race (somehow looking younger than he did in WCW)

Pete Rose (booed heavily, though said to be incredibly gracious for the induction)

Don Muraco (in a Hawaiian shirt under his coat)

Greg Valentine (bigger reaction than you might think, and WHY DOES HE NEVER AGE???)

Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter)

Billy Graham (biggest reaction so far)

Sgt. Slaughter (gets a loud USA chant and plays to the crowd as well)

Jesse Ventura (It wouldn’t have been Wrestlemania without him)

This was much more a tribute to the earlier days of Wrestlemania but it didn’t have the big time headliner. Race is the biggest name, but he’s not known for his WWE stuff.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

They’re all in evening gowns to start, which is totally what I think of when I think of Playboy. Sable wants to just wrestle without anything on but she just strips down to her her lingerie. Torrie and Stacy follow suit as Cole and Tazz are way too excited over this. Jackie won’t strip though and stands on the apron in her gown. So she’s the Ivory of the match.

The gown is ripped off in about five seconds and Sable kicks her in the ribs. Torrie does a high crossbody for the sake of….I’m sure you get the idea. Stacy comes in for a cartwheel (Tazz: “I LOVE CARTWHEELS!”) and the leg choke in the corner. We get the sunset flip spot for an ovation, followed by Jackie and Torrie rolling over the referee. Torrie rolls Jackie up (showing off the tag hanging off the underwear) for the pin, plus a spank and a pull of the underwear. It was short and did what it was there to do.

Video on fans coming from all over the world for Wrestlemania.

Eddie Guerrero is in the locker room with Chris Benoit and says he’s proud of Benoit no matter what. Benoit doesn’t like the word lose but Eddie says it’s a possibility with the people he’s in there against. Nobody really believes in him but Benoit shouts that he does, demanding that Eddie looks at him. Benoit wants to know why Eddie is saying this on Benoit’s night. Last month Eddie won his WWE Title and tonight Benoit wins his. That’s the fire that Eddie was trying to draw out of him because that’s the Benoit he believes in. Benoit is winning the title tonight.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero is defending and we finally find out that it’s a gauntlet match with Chavo entering last. While they never specifically said so in the lead up, it was implied that this would be a ten way match with everyone in there at once. Everyone comes out and stands at ringside and thankfully both of Ultimo Dragon’s botches are edited on the Network (the one at the entrance is mostly covered by a wide shot but you can still make it out while him slipping on the middle rope is edited out completely). Rey Mysterio is the Flash this year to continue his great tradition.

Dragon and Shannon Moore start things off with Shannon shouldering him down for two. A belly to back suplex gets the same but Dragon avoids a flip dive. The Asai DDT (very similar to a Salida Del Sol) eliminates Moore and Jamie Noble is in third. Dragon kicks him down for a fast two but has to bail out of a moonsault. The Asai DDT is countered into a neckbreaker and Noble makes him tap with a guillotine choke.

There’s no bell like after the first fall but Funaki comes in with a high crossbody, which Noble rolls through for a pin in five seconds. Nunzio comes in and it’s never fun to see family fight. Some rollups give Nunzio two and a middle rope dropkick to the head gets the same. Nunzio is sent outside for a big flip dive from Noble and Nunzio gets counted out.

Billy Kidman is in next and hits a HUGE springboard shooting star to take out Noble and Nunzio, nearly killing himself in the process. Back in and Noble’s guillotine choke doesn’t work but he’s able to break up the shooting star. Noble loads up a superplex but gets revered into a super BK Bomb for the pin and the elimination. Rey Mysterio comes in next to pick up the pace, only to get caught up top. A super sunset bomb gets rid of Kidman and it’s Tajiri in next.

The Tarantula has Rey in fast trouble but he’s out in a hurry for the 619. Akio tries to grab Rey’s leg but takes Tajiri’s mist instead. Rey rolls Tajiri up for the pin and since Akio can’t go due to the mist, it’s Chavo vs. Mysterio for the title. Tajiri kicks Mysterio in the head before leaving and Chavo gets an easy two but Rey is right back up with a springboard hurricanrana. Rey dropkicks Chavo Sr. down and hits him with a big flip dive. A sunset flip has Chavo in trouble but Sr. grabs his son’s hands to give him the retaining pin.

Rating: D. I’ve never liked these things and it was the same case here: if these people can pin each other in a minute or so, why do regular matches take seven minutes? This was another way to get a bunch of people on the show, which is rarely a good sign for a lot of them. Chavo vs. Mysterio would have been fine and I’m not sure how many people care that Kidman and Funaki made the show.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. Goldberg was dominating the Royal Rumble but Lesnar ran in and caused him to be eliminated. The next month at No Way Out, Goldberg interfered in Lesnar’s Smackdown World Title defense against Eddie Guerrero, costing him the title. Lesnar begged for a match with Goldberg, which Vince McMahon granted, albeit with Steve Austin as referee. With Goldberg off TV, Lesnar and Austin have had a mini feud over Austin’s ATV. It doesn’t help that both Goldberg and Lesnar are gone after this show, which could make this, ahem, interesting.

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

Steve Austin is guest referee. We start with a loud YOU SOLD OUT chant, presumably at Lesnar (who is sporting a very weak goatee). There’s no contact in the first minute so the fans start singing the Goodbye Song. JR has to acknowledge the crowd and mentions Lesnar wanting to go to the NFL as we’re two minutes in with no contact. The fans start chanting for Austin so Goldberg looks at him instead.

They lock up at 2:46 as we hear about Goldberg being an MMA aficionado. The lockup lasts about forty seconds and goes nowhere so Lesnar laughs at him a bit. A second lockup lasts about as long as JR tries to pass this off as a great struggle. They break up again as the fans are now openly booing, saying THIS MATCH SUCKS. Lesnar puts in a headlock five minutes in and the exchange of shoulders goes nowhere.

A double shoulder means a double knockdown, because that’s what this match needed. Lesnar starts kicking away but gets gorilla pressed into a spinebuster for the first big move of the match. The spear hits buckle though and they fight to the floor as the fans think Goldberg sucks. Back in and Lesnar gets two off a suplex, followed by a standing choke after that strenuous….oh I’d say minute and a half.

The fans chant for Hogan and it’s ANOTHER double knockdown until Lesnar covers for two. Goldberg fights up with some clotheslines and the spear for two, despite pulling Lesnar’s shoulder off the mat. An argument with Austin lets Lesnar grab an F5 for a near fall of his own. Lesnar goes shoulder first into the post and it’s the spear and Jackhammer to give Goldberg the pin.

Rating: F. Does this need an explanation? There’s a reason this is considered one of the worst Wrestlemania matches of all time and it’s embarrassing all around. These guys are capable of having a good match and they went out there and put in no effort, instead being satisfied with screwing over the fans who wanted to and perhaps paid to see this match. I can understand two people just not clicking, but I have little patience for them not trying. It didn’t even have the entertainment value of being that bad.

Post match Austin Stuns them both out of the company and neither Goldberg nor Lesnar was ever seen in WWE again.

Pyro goes off from the roof of the building. I’ve been outside for that after Wrestlemania in New Orleans and it will make you jump out of your skin.

Here’s Vince McMahon to talk about the theme of It All Begins Again. There wouldn’t be a Wrestlemania without the fans though and he’s here to thank all of us. The locker room, the WWE and the McMahon Family thanks the fans for making Wrestlemania and the WWE what it is today. This was a very nice little moment.

Next year: Wrestlemania Goes Hollywood.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Basham Brothers vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. APA

Rikishi and Scotty are defending and again it’s one fall to a finish. Shelton punches Bradshaw to start but gets taken down by a running shoulder for one. Doug comes in to take over on Shelton with Charlie making a save. It’s off to Scotty vs. Charlie as the fans are just gone after that match (granted this match isn’t helping things). Scotty tries to skin the cat but Charlie catches him, allowing Shelton to jump onto his back.

A bearhug slows things down even more until Doug tags himself in and kicks Scotty in the head. Danny pulls him away from the hot tag to Rikishi but, of course, the tag goes through a few seconds later. Rikishi DDTs Danny to no reaction and gives Charlie a Stink Face. Everything breaks down and Bradshaw Clotheslines Doug. That earns him a Samoan drop from Rikishi, who sits on Danny’s chest to retain.

Rating: D-. Nothing match again but at least this served the purpose of giving the fans a chance to get Goldberg vs. Lesnar out of their system. As was the case earlier though, there wasn’t much of a need for this match to be on the card. It would have been fine as a Kickoff Show match, but even at six minutes it felt long.

Post match, dancing ensues.

Edge is coming back after over a year away.

Here’s Jesse Ventura…..to interview Donald Trump in the front row. Trump praises the show and Vince and Jesse asks him about a donation to a Presidential run. And now we move on to ANYTHING else before this turns into….whatever it’s going to turn into.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Victoria’s title vs. Molly’s hair so a fan has a creative sign featuring Molly with hair that goes up and down. Molly powers her into the corner to start but Victoria chases her to the floor. Back in and Molly gets two off a suplex before grabbing a reverse cravate. The fans are getting a bit more into this and at least have some interest compared to the previous one.

With nothing else to talk about, Lawler gets into a discussion of Molly’s underwear. JR: “What does that have to do with this wrestling match?” Victoria comes back with a powerslam as the discussion moves on to underwear color. Molly catches Victoria on top and gets two off a sunset bomb, albeit landing on her knees first. As frustration sets in, Molly tries the Widow’s Peak, which is reversed into a backslide to retain Victoria’s title.

Rating: D+. They tried here and that’s about all you can ask for. They didn’t even have five minutes and it’s not like the feud had much of a build in the first place. I’ll give them points for being willing to go with a bigger stipulation for the sake of getting on Wrestlemania, which shows quite the level of dedication. Not terrible, but they were hamstrung by the time.

Post match Molly snaps and tries to cut Victoria’s hair but Victoria knocks her out and straps her into the chair. The unconscious Molly gets her hair cut but wakes up in the middle, freaking out as you might expect.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle. Eddie won the Smackdown World Title in February and Angle wasn’t happy that a former drug addict was champion. He attacked Eddie FOR THE FUTURE OF AMERICA because the country needed someone who could be a role model as champion. Eddie has been attacked when he wasn’t able to fight back but tonight it’s a fair playing field. I’ve been digging the heck out of this feud watching it back and this is the match I’ve been wanting to see again more than anything else.

After the video, Molly is still getting her head shaved. She’s actually bald too, rather than just having it trimmed. Like I said earlier: that’s some dedication.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Eddie is defending. A lockup has Eddie driven into the corner to start as Tazz thinks Angle should take it to the mat. Angle headlocks him down but Eddie is out in a hurry with a headscissors. A longer headlock is broken the same way as the fans are in a dueling LET’S GO ANGLE/ANGLE SUCKS chant. Eddie’s headlock is broken up as well and it’s a standoff as they’re still in the feeling out period here.

Some shoulder blocks work better for Eddie as Angle bails out to the floor. Back in and Angle takes him down into a front facelock and this time Eddie can’t get out as quickly. After staying down for a bit, Eddie fights up and armdrags him into an armbar. Angle knees the ribs to break it up and puts on an abdominal stretch. The ribs are fine enough for some rolling verticals, but the third is reversed into Angle’s rolling German suplexes.

They go to the apron and Angle can’t hit the German suplex off the apron. Eddie kicks him to the floor and dive out after Angle but the ribs go straight into the barricade. Back in again and Eddie gets caught in a chinlock with a grapevine to stay on the ribs. A hot shot sends Eddie ribs first onto the ropes and it’s time for the belly to belly suplexes. Angle puts on a waistlock before another belly to belly gets two.

Since the regular ones not being enough, Angle puts him on top for a belly to belly superplex. Eddie breaks that up but misses the frog splash, making the ribs even worse. Angle is getting cocky so Eddie tells him to bring it on. Some right hands just make Eddie madder and he clotheslines Angle down. A belly to back suplex rocks Angle and Eddie reverses a German suplex attempt into a cradle for two.

That earns Eddie a hard clothesline but he reverses the Angle Slam into an armdrag. The third rolling suplex is reversed into the ankle lock this time so Eddie kicks him away. It’s still too early for the frog splash though as Angle runs the corner for a super belly to belly. The ankle lock goes on again but Eddie counters into a rollup. Another German suplex rocks Eddie again but the Angle Slam is countered into a DDT.

The frog splash gets two and you can hear the fans being surprised. Angle gets the ankle lock for the third time so Eddie rolls him outside for another break. With Angle down, Eddie unlaces his boot and backs away as Angle gets back in. That means an ankle lock but Eddie’s boot comes off. Angle is confused and Eddie small packages him (with his feet in the ropes of course) to retain.

Rating: A. That’s a brilliant finish with Eddie keeping his cool long enough to catch Angle being too aggressive in going after the ankle. Angle thinks that he’s better than Eddie and is going to smell blood as soon as he thinks Eddie is in trouble. Eddie was ready for it and suckered the livid Angle in to retain. The rest of the match with a great back and forth chess match with Eddie staying in there until he could get around Angle’s physical advantages. There was some incredible storytelling here and it was one of the best matches either of them has ever had.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kane. Back at Survivor Series, Kane literally buried Undertaker and then gave him a eulogy. Kane proclaimed Undertaker dead and gone, but you know that’s not going to be the case. The Undertaker’s gong went off at the Royal Rumble and Kane freaked out, setting us on a path to this match. We’ve been seeing signs of Undertaker’s powers, which range from creepy to stupid, but that’s standard Undertaker procedure.

Undertaker vs. Kane

Kane’s intro is cool as the New York City set is covered in flames as well. Then Paul Bearer returns with an OOOOOOOHHHHHHH YEEEEEESSSSSS and no one cares about Kane anymore. We’ve got the druids with the burning torches and the fog throughout the aisle. Undertaker’s new look: slightly longer hair, a new hat and a singlet top. Kane looks terrified and….well yeah the Undertaker’s entrance at Wrestlemania can be chilling.

They stare at each other for a bit with Kane trying to make himself believe that Undertaker is real. He reaches out to touch Undertaker and gets punched up against the ropes. The threat of a chokeslam sends Kane bailing to the floor but Undertaker is right back with an elbow to the throat. There’s the apron legdrop as I would expect a lot of signature stuff here. Back in and Undertaker loads up the Last Ride but Kane backdrops him….hands first into the ropes. They misjudged the heck out of that one if that was supposed to be a backdrop to the floor.

It turns into a slugout on the mat until Kane gets in a side slam. The top rope clothesline gets two but Undertaker is right back with a big boot and legdrop. Old School (still not yet named as such) is countered into a chokeslam. Kane walks around though and there’s the sit up. Undertaker hits his own chokeslam (losing the grip on the way down) and the Tombstone makes Undertaker 12-0.

Rating: D. That’s all you could have expected here, save for maybe a shorter and more dominant win. No one was expecting this Kane to beat the returning Undertaker so this was all about a big return. Undertaker was back to his slow pace here, though it was still better than the last few months (if not years) of Biker Taker. It’s not a good match, but Undertaker at Wrestlemania is always worth at least a glance.

We recap HHH vs. Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels. HHH and Michaels went to a draw both at the last Raw of 2003 and in a Last Man Standing match at the Royal Rumble. Shawn, never being able to let something go, said he needed to face HHH again, even though Benoit won the Royal Rumble. Michaels signed the Wrestlemania contract instead of Benoit (contracts still don’t work that way and Shawn vs. HHH is barely six years in the making, let alone the nearly ten Michaels said that it was) so Austin made it a triple threat match. This gets the music video treatment.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels

HHH is defending and wearing white boots for a really weird look. We don’t get Big Match Intros but we do have a weapons check. The fans are behind Benoit here, to the surprise of no one paying attention. Benoit goes after both of them to start but Shawn wants to beat on HHH. A way too early Crossface attempt doesn’t work on Shawn, who is sent into HHH to knock the champ outside. The second Crossface attempt is countered into a rollup for two but HHH is back in to clothesline Michaels.

Now it’s Benoit being sent outside so Shawn and HHH can have their big showdown. That doesn’t last long (you save the big stuff for later) as HHH goes outside to drive Benoit into the barricade. Shawn is right up with a moonsault onto the two of them for a big crash. Back in and HHH hits the facebuster on Shawn but Benoit breaks up the Pedigree. Shawn goes shoulder first into the post, again leaving us with two instead of the three.

Benoit can’t get a belly to back superplex as HHH pulls him down into the Tree of Woe and whips Shawn into him for a near fall of his own. HHH gets sent into him as well for the same two but Benoit gets free for the rolling German suplexes. Michaels is right there to break up the Swan dive though, only to eat a DDT from HHH. With Shawn on the floor, HHH pulls Benoit off the top and hammers away.

That’s reversed into a Crossface with Shawn diving in for a save. Shawn tries his own rolling German suplexes on Benoit and I’ll let you guess how that goes. After Shawn bounces off the mat from Benoit’s third straight German suplex, the Swan Dive connects for two. Shawn forearms Benoit to the floor and nips up for the fight against HHH. The champ gets knocked down for the top rope elbow and Sweet Chin Music connects.

Benoit is right there to pull HHH to the floor of course and he sends Shawn into the post. The busted open Shawn (it wouldn’t feel right otherwise) gets caught in the Crossface so HHH grabs his hand to prevent the tap out. Benoit beats up HHH on the floor but gets sent into the steps. HHH loads up the announcers’ table and Shawn joins him to double suplex Benoit through the table. NOW we get the big Shawn vs. HHH showdown and it lasts all of fifteen seconds with Shawn whipping HHH over the corner and back outside.

Back in and HHH (also bleeding) hits a quick Pedigree but can’t cover. Benoit dives in for a last second save and all three are down. A Pedigree to Benoit is reversed into a Sharpshooter in the middle of the ring so it’s Shawn coming back in with more Sweet Chin Music. That’s only good for two so Shawn tries it again, only to be sent to the floor. The Pedigree is countered into the Crossface and Benoit rolls him into the middle for the tap and the title.

Rating: A+. I never realized how much the Wrestlemania XXX match copied this one, down to the big double team through the table, the technical star who had worked forever to get here and winning with a very similar hold, plus other things I’m probably overlooking. Anyway, there isn’t much to say here as the match speaks for itself. It’s long in the right way, the near falls were great, the work and visuals were incredible and the right guy won. I’m sure you’ve seen this one at least once and if you haven’t, find the time to sit down and watch Benoit’s crowning achievement.

Benoit is in tears as Eddie comes out for the big celebration. Confetti falls (another Wrestlemania XXX scene) and JR has almost lost his voice shouting about how amazing this was. The ending is a spectacular visual and what should have been one of the most memorable moments ever.

A five minute highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: B+. They were this close to being one of the all time great shows but as it is, they’re only a few steps behind. The positives here ranges from outstanding to very good but the bad is in either absolutely horrid to unnecessary stuff, which is where the biggest problem comes from: they stretched a three hour and forty five minute show to over four and a half hour one and that doesn’t work. If you trim things down a bit here and there, (a Kickoff Show would have been better, or just not putting everything on the card in the first place) this is one of the best shows ever.

The other thing that worked so well here was the feeling. Wrestlemania is a major show every year but this was a milestone edition and it felt like one. They had a great balance of the history, present and future in one night and the whole event came off as a spectacle. That’s the right kind of feeling and the great action all night helped too. This show feels special and it’s worth seeing at least once (if you somehow hadn’t) or again if you haven’t in a long time, though fast forward some of the lower card stuff to make things easier.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: March 11, 2004
Location: Boardwalk Hall, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show before Wrestlemania and we’ve got a guest star with Steve Austin in the house. Tonight should focus heavily on the Smackdown side of things but there’s a good chance that we’ll be seeing more of the interpromotional matches. That’s not the worst idea in the world as it’s not like the blue only matches are the hottest things in the world. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Austin vs. Brock Lesnar, which has turned into the real feud since Goldberg isn’t around at the moment.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena for the opening match but first he has to rap about chasing the US Title like Big Show chases the ice cream truck. Show is a mark for himself and plays Blackjack alone to beat his own hand. Oh and Cena is large in a rather specific area.

John Cena vs. Rhyno

Cena drives him into the corner to start and gets two off the Throwback. Rhyno’s spinebuster slows Cena down but he shrugs off a knee to the ribs. The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle and FU to send Cena into Wrestlemania strong.

The locker room (save for the top stars of course) has a meeting in the locker room with Paul Heyman giving a speech. Just like last week, he’s willing to fight for Smackdown because he’s really good for this place. What’s good for Smackdown is good for the wrestlers because it puts food on the table and sends their kids to college. Steve Austin is coming tonight and doesn’t want their kids to go to college.

Austin is here to deal with Brock Lesnar (nowhere to be seen at the moment) and Smackdown can’t let that happen. Everyone better volunteer to help with this because at some point tonight, Lesnar is going to lead them in a battle to defend their turf. No one messes with their Smackdown but no one actually agrees to help. How many times do you think Heyman gave a nearly identical speech to ECW? No one can sell it like Heyman and this was really entertaining. Rather illogical and over the top, but entertaining.

Hall of Fame video.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

The Chavos are on commentary with Jr. trying to figure out why he’s defending against nine guys. Tazz: “Why does the #8 contender get a shot?” That’s a completely fair question and I’d love an answer. Rey grabs him by the hand and walks the ropes for a springboard headscissors but gets caught on top. The sitout bulldog gets Rey out of trouble in a hurry and the moonsault press gets two. The 619 is loaded up but here are Akio/Sakoda/Tajiri for what should be a DQ, but let’s wait for the other cruiserweights to come in to make it a no contest.

Rating: D+. They needed some more time of course but at least we’re going to be seeing something else besides just this match. Noble was just starting to heat up as a face when they turned him heel all over again so there’s not much hope for him at the moment. Mysterio is the real challenger for the title though and really, it should have just been him vs. Chavo on Sunday.

Billy Kidman/Funaki/Ultimo Dragon/Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri/Akio/Sakoda/Jamie Noble

Joined in progress with Dragon hitting a Japanese armdrag on Tajiri and bringing in Kidman for a good looking dropkick. Chavo Sr. doesn’t want to hear about anything other than his son, which includes Funaki working on Tajiri’s arm. Akio comes in for some more luck with a cross arm choke and a spinwheel kick to take over on Funaki. Some baseball slide dropkicks to Funaki in the Tree of Woe get two as everyone is getting a chance here.

Cole rips on the Chavos so Tazz tells him to go frost his hair in a line that was funnier than it should have been. It’s off to Noble for a hard legdrop as Cole gets on Tazz for not calling the match. Cole: “Nonetheless Sunday, the title on the line with ten men!” Noble’s chinlock doesn’t quite work but Chavo Sr.’s Spanish ramblings make it a little better.

Funaki kicks Jamie away and brings in Rey, sending commentary even further into insanity. A Code Red gives Mysterio two and everything breaks down. There’s the 619 to Noble but Sr. gets on the apron. Jr. holds Mysterio for Noble, who hits Jr. by mistake and a hurricanrana gives Mysterio the fast pin.

Rating: C. That was a lot more like it, especially with the hilarious commentary. Sr. ranting and raving about how great Jr. was and how unfair everything was to his son was tremendous and made the match a lot better. It’s also a good idea to let the cruiserweights shine before Sunday in a match whose rules haven’t actually been announced yet.

Post match, Shannon Moore and Nunzio come in to keep up with the brawling.

Heyman gives the FBI a pep talk about getting rid of Austin but he gets a message saying that Austin is in the arena. Actually he’s at the beer stand. Heyman runs off shouting for Brock.

Long recap of Heyman’s issues with Eddie Guerrero, including last week’s great closing angle with Kurt Angle destroying the helpless Eddie.

Here’s Eddie for a match but first he wants to call out Angle for what happened last week. This is Angle’s chance to get rid of him once and for all. Eddie is the only WWE Champion who tells kids to lie, cheat and steal but since there’s no Angle, he must have no testicular fortitude. Angle isn’t fooling anyone because he’s not coming out here. Eddie talks about being an addict, which is the kind of person Angle would want to take out. Once Eddie wins at Wrestlemania, he’s going to lie, cheat and steal more than ever before. What a weird face, but that smile is more than enough to make it work.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. Shelton hits an early suplex and sticks the landing off a monkey flip to avoid a crash. Eddie sends him outside though and takes care of Charlie Haas too, earning Haas an ejection for his efforts. Back from a break with Eddie grabbing an abdominal stretch until Shelton hiptosses his way to freedom. Shelton’s arm is banged up so he has to settle for a belly to back suplex instead of a German suplex.

Shelton whips him into the ropes….and we’re edited to Eddie coming off another rope (he was sent into the ropes on the hard camera side and was then coming off the ropes facing the set) for a faceplant. I’m assuming there was a heck of a botch in there and that wasn’t the smoothest edit in the world. Eddie gets all fired up and Shelton doesn’t know what to do as the comeback is on.

A backdrop sets up the rolling vertical suplexes but the ref gets bumped. Cue Haas to throw Shelton the title but Eddie dropkicks it back into Shelton’s face. Haas and Benjamin get a belt shot each and Eddie drops down so the referee won’t know what happened. As usual, cheating can be smart. Eddie staggers to his feet, smiles at the audience, and hits the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. I remember watching Eddie’s rise to the top of the show when I was a teenager and I didn’t give it nearly the credit that it deserved. Eddie is just so, so good out there with the wrestling being perfectly smooth and the mannerisms being even better. He’s just such a treat to watch and somehow seems to be getting better every single time, if that’s possible.

Post match Angle comes out and motions that the belt is his.

Sable and Torrie Wilson were at the Playboy 50^th Anniversary party. They giggle about their match at Wrestlemania.

Heyman’s correspondents have lost Austin. Orlando Jordan walks through a door and Heyman makes sure he’s going to do what’s right for Smackdown. Jordan says he will, but he respects Austin. Heyman threatens to fire him.

Big Show vs. John Walters/Arch Kincaid

Walters is a minor indy name who has worked for ROH before and was a semi-regular WWE jobber around this time. Both guys get thrown around a lot and the chokeslam Walters in about a minute.

Post match Cena comes in and takes out Show’s knee.

We look back at last week’s setup for the four way Tag Team Title match.

Heyman is very glad to run into the APA as they can do what’s right for Smackdown. They agree, without saying anything specific about what they’ll do.

Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Basham Brothers

Non-title. Doug sends Scotty into the corner to start so it’s a headlock to slow Doug down. A blind tag brings in Danny to kick him in the head though and the Bashams take over without much effort. We’re already in the chinlock, followed by a legdrop for two. Danny misses a charge in the corner and a slide between his legs is enough for the hot tag to Rikishi. Doug gets kicked to the floor but he switches place to save Danny from the Stinkface. He charges at Rikishi….and gets superkicked for the pin. Well that was sudden.

Rating: D. The ending was pretty odd and I’m not sure what the point is in having the champs get a clean pin over some of their challengers three days before the pay per view title match. At least they didn’t have it go on too long though as it’s not like there is anything beneath this on the Wrestlemania card.

Video on Lesnar vs. Goldberg, which has turned into a mess after what should have been a layup. Austin as guest referee really does feel like a last ditch effort to save the thing.

Austin’s truck has been moved.

Clip of Kane ranting about Undertaker on Raw and being told it all begins again Sunday.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Here’s Paul Heyman, flanked by a big chunk of the Smackdown roster. Post break Heyman brings out Brock Lesnar, who calls out Austin for a fight. This is his ring and if Austin is here for some knuckle sandwiches, he better bring a bunch. Cue Austin who backs his truck into the arena and stares down the mob. They step aside and let him pass, even as Heyman shouts GET HIM over and over. Big Show is the only one to stand in front of Austin but, after a staredown, even he lets Austin go.

The locker room leaves and Austin teases getting in but takes the ATV instead. He stops it in the aisle though and turns around, holding up the key. Cole: “That’s the key.” Tazz: “Yeah I know.” Austin wins a slugout and posts Lesnar before throwing him inside. A Stunner takes Heyman down but Lesnar is back up. The F5 and Stunner are countered and the bleeding Lesnar leaves, I believe in his final ever appearance on Smackdown. The ATV is ridden and loaded into the truck so Austin can drink beer to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was exactly what you would expect from the go home show, save for the ending which was pretty off, considering it was a referee beating up a wrestler. It was good to let Eddie get something back before the pay per view and the wrestling was mostly watchable. I actually thought Raw did a better job of making me want to see Wrestlemania as this show was fine with a big angle that involved what’s available from one of the biggest matches. Not bad, but it’s time for Wrestlemania.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

Tonight is the first show in a long time with a special attraction main event. Tonight’s main event is the returning Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels in a match billed as legend vs. icon. Other than that we have the first Summerslam with the new generation on top with John Cena defending against Chris Jericho and Batista defending against JBL. Let’s get to it.

The Navy color guard presents the flag and Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem. She may stumble over a lot of announcements but she can sing the heck out of that song.

The opening video is about Cena vs. Bischoff with Eric’s surrogate Chris Jericho. This would be the 185^th attempt to recreate Austin vs. Vince, each one less successful than the previous. It covers the rest of the matches too, focusing on Hogan vs. Shawn of course. The theme song is Remedy by Seether so we have another good song this year.

Never mind as the main song that will be played in the arena is some stupid hip hop song.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan, the most worthless wrestler I can think of at the moment, is defending. He took the title from Cena of all people and defended it over the course of the summer. In some of the smartest booking you’ll ever see to open a show, Benoit shoves him into the corner, snaps off a German suplex and puts Jordan in the Crossface for the submission and the title in 25 seconds.

When a guy is so bad that you can’t trust Chris Benoit with him on live TV, this is the right move. Benoit would go on to show how fast the match was by timing how long it took him to do things like go to the bathroom or have a cup of coffee, each of which lasted longer than the match. Brilliant stuff here and the crowd is instantly on fire.

Vickie Guerrero, not yet a character, begs Eddie to calm down about Mysterio and Rey’s son Dominic. Eddie says Vickie doesn’t get it but she tries to talk him down. He interprets this as Vickie thinking he can’t beat Rey and throws her out.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. Edge. Matt dated Lita in real life but Edge stole her away (both on screen and in real life) while Matt was out with a knee injury. Hardy was released from WWE while Edge and Lita became an on screen couple. This led to an AWESOME angle where Matt, who had been rehired VERY quietly, showed up on Raw and attacked Edge from behind. He did it again but was arrested, shouting that he’d be at Ring of Honor. Matt was finally brought back full time, setting up a white hot feud with Edge. They made the feud feel as real as any I can remember in a long time before it was to a degree.

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

This is during Lita’s early heel phase and DANG does it work for her. The fight starts on the floor with Matt in control before heading inside for a bell. Hardy grabs a choke but Edge gets into the ropes. Back to the floor for a bit before Edge gets in a right hand inside to take over. Edge spears him off the apron and out to the floor in the spot made much more famous against Mick Foley.

Back in and Matt hits some HARD lefts and rights before going into the corner to rain them down. Edge steps forward and drops Matt face first on the post (with Matt clearly pulling himself forward to hit it correctly), busting Hardy open. Edge goes after the cut….and the match is stopped in less than five minutes. We get a good shot of Matt’s head and the cut is shown to be just a step above nothing, making this ridiculous. I’m guessing the idea was due to a head injury (not a real one mind you) but it makes Matt look like a complete joke.

Rating: C+. This was fun while it lasted but the length and ending crippled it. Matt was on fire coming in but he would be made to look like the jobbiest jobber of all time during the feud with Edge. Eventually Edge would send him to Raw and keep Lita, ultimately winning the world title in a few months. This was more or less it for Matt as far as being a big deal.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Oh this is a fun one. They were tag team champions in the spring but Eddie started to get paranoid that Rey was better than him. Rey beat him at Wrestlemania in a friendly match and Eddie was set off. He turned on Rey and started going after Rey’s 8 year old son Dominic.

Uncle Eddie said he had a story to tell Dominic but Rey kept stopping Eddie from telling it. They had a match at Great American Bash where if Eddie won he could tell the story but if not he had to stay quiet. Eddie lost, but told the story anyway: he’s Dominic’s actual father but gave him to Rey because Eddie was in no condition to be a father. Then he wanted custody of Dominic, so there was one solution.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Here’s the solution: “The following contest is a ladder match for the custody of Dominic!” That line summed up the entire feud and is a famous line today. Eddie looks at Rey to start before kneeing him in the ribs to get things going. A hard belly to back suplex puts Rey down but he comes back with a monkey flip to send Guerrero to the floor. Rey is sent straight into the steps and then the ladder as Eddie maintains his early control.

Eddie slides in the ladder and goes up but a springboard dropkick takes Guerrero down. Another ladder is brought in but Rey dropkicks it into Eddie, sending both the ladder and Guerrero to the floor. A great looking springboard seated senton takes Eddie down but Rey is too banged up to immediately climb. They slug it out on the ladder with Eddie taking over but they botch the first big spot of the match: Eddie tries a sunset bomb but Rey falls off a second late, meaning he falls on Eddie instead of with him.

Back up and the ladder crushes Rey in the corner before Eddie brings in a second ladder. Rey is sandwiched between the ladders so Eddie can hit a slingshot hilo in a painful looking spot. Guerrero goes up but Rey sets the other ladder up like a ramp to get to the top. Eddie is backdropped onto the ladder ramp, sending both ladders and both wrestlers crashing down to the mat. Rey goes up one more time but has the ladder dropkicked out from under him in the second crash in 90 seconds.

Eddie lays a ladder on the top rope and drops a charging Rey chest first onto the steel. Guerrero goes up but Dominic gets in and shakes the ladder to stop him. Eddie gets in his face and shouts that he’s the new daddy but Rey stops him from punching the kid. Mysterio moves the ladder against the ropes and sends Eddie into it for the 619. Rey Drops the Dime on the ladder onto Eddie and goes up but gets caught in an electric chair. As they’re about to fall, Rey spins around and slips down Guerrero into a powerbomb.

Rey slowly climbs again but Guerrero kicks the ladder away and catches the falling Rey in another powerbomb. In a smart move, Eddie puts the ladder over Rey before climbing up and grabbing the briefcase. Since he’s a heel in a ladder match though, he takes FOREVER to work the simple clip, allowing Rey to kick the ladder over and pull Eddie down. Rey can’t follow up though and gets caught in Three Amigos with the third on the ladder. Eddie goes up again and here’s Vickie, which makes me think the slow climb was a missed spot where she was supposed to come out. She shoves him down and Rey gets up the ladder for the win.

Rating: B-. This was good but the botches hurt it a lot. The other major problem here is the whole thing is so silly. It’s really hard to get into a match with the prize being a custody of a kid. Are we supposed to believe that Eddie is going to win and presumably abuse the world’s stupidest looking eight year old? I’ve seen far worse but this wasn’t a great match by any stretch. Eddie of course would be gone in about two and a half months but he would beat Rey in a cage match in about ten days.

Rey hits Guerrero with the briefcase post match.

Jericho says the time is now for him to become WWE Champion. After Cena loses tonight, he’s nothing more than the flavor of the month. I mean, Jericho beat Rock and Austin in one night to become the first Undisputed Champion. Tonight Jericho will win the WWE Championship and Eric Bischoff can have a champion to be proud of.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

Yep he’s still around. This is for Angle’s gold medal and Eugene has Christy Hemme as a cheerleader. Eugene won some Olympic challenge by lasting three minutes against Angle, so this is no time limit. They really couldn’t find something better for Kurt? Angle easily takes him to the mat to start but Eugene comes back with a spinebuster to LOUD booing. Angle takes his head off on the People’s Elbow attempt for two and the fans go nuts. A BIG release German suplex puts Angle down and it’s time for some knees to the face.

Kurt sends him into the buckle but Eugene Hulks Up and does his goofy punching and a Rock Bottom for two. A Stunner gets the same and Eugene is pulls invisible straps down to set up an ankle lock on Angle. Kurt easily gets up and hits the Angle Slam followed by the ankle lock for the submission.

Rating: D. They booked a five minute squash at Summerslam for KURT ANGLE??? Seriously? This was a horribly dull match and Eugene had no business being in there. He barely even acts slow anymore and is really just Hacksaw Jim Duggan minus the patriotism. Thankfully Kurt would move on to face Cena for three months straight after this.

Angle stands on a chair and has the medal placed around his neck.

The Divas are in bikinis and washing a limo. It has the Presidential logo on the door and Vince comes out. “Hey, why not?” THANKFULLY this went nowhere.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Wrestlemania rematch and I think that’s all you need to know. Orton immediately bails to the floor before being slapped right in the face. Taker misses a right hand in the corner but runs Orton over with a shoulder block. Off to a headlock on Randy followed by a big boot, leaving Orton with a dazed look in his eyes. Taker grabs a key lock but Orton armdrags him off the top to break up Old School. Orton hits a HARD right hand to the face, earning him a launch into the corner and rapid punches from the dead man.

Orton gets up a boot in the corner but charges out straight into a big boot for two. The jumping clothesline puts Orton down for two more and a running knee in the corner has Randy in big trouble. Randy manages to dodge a running big boot in the corner but can barely follow up due to the beating he’s taken. As Taker gets back in from the apron Orton gets in a shot to the leg to take over.

Orton cannonballs down onto the leg and wraps it around the post before putting on a basic leg lock in the ring. A knee drop to the face gets two before Orton takes him into the corner to wrap the leg around the ropes. Randy powerslams him down for two and it’s off to a leg lace. Taker fights out of it and rams Orton’s knee into the mat but Randy comes right back with a chop block to the front of the leg. More cannonballs onto the knee have Taker in bigger trouble but the big man kicks him out to the floor.

The legdrop across the apron has Orton in more trouble and Taker does a one legged Old School. Uh Dead Man, there’s more to selling than just limping before you do a move with no issues. Taker hits Snake Eyes but he can’t run fast enough for the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO is countered but Taker has the tombstone countered twice and Orton hits his backbreaker for two. Taker rolls through a high cross body and hits the chokeslam but a “fan” comes in and the distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the pin. It’s Bob Orton (Randy’s dad) of course.

Rating: C+. This was ok but the ending was stupid. It doesn’t hold a candle to their Wrestlemania match but the rematch inside the Cell at Armageddon was WAY better. Bob Orton didn’t add much to this feud and Orton wasn’t ready to make the jump to the full time main event scene just yet. The match wasn’t bad or anything though.

Some big shot Republicans are here.

We recap Jericho vs. Cena. As mentioned there isn’t much to talk about here. Bischoff doesn’t like Cena and has Jericho to take the title away from him. This is Cena’s first feud as champion on Raw. This gets the music video treatment.

Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

They stare each other down to start before trading chops to Jericho’s advantage. A snap suplex puts Cena down but Jericho’s springboard cross body misses Cena entirely and Chris hits the floor. Back in and Cena hits a running elbow into the face but charges into a dropkick to slow things down again. A suplex gets two for the challenger and he follows it up with a dropkick to the jaw. Jericho sends him out to the floor and dropkicks him off the apron for good measure.

Cena gets choked with a microphone cord before being thrown inside to be beaten up even more. A superplex has Cena in trouble but it shook Jericho up too badly to cover. Cena starts pounding back but misses a flying shoulder, allowing Jericho to try the Walls, only to be kicked out to the floor. As Jericho gets back in, Cena drops a top rope leg onto Chris’ head for a close two count. The FU is countered into a DDT and both guys are down.

The fans are split here as Jericho chokes away on the ropes. Cena is in trouble but he comes back with a HARD clothesline to put both guys down again. They slug it out with Cena taking over and hitting his usual finishing sequence, including the spinning powerbomb but as he loads up the Five Knuckle Shuffle, Jericho counters into the Walls. After a long crawl, Cena finally makes it to the rope to escape. A belly to back superplex gets two for Jericho but as they get back up, he charges right into the FU to retain the title for Cena.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t bad here but it didn’t really click for the most part. This was an off time for Jericho as he didn’t fit as a heel because he was more or less the same guy he had always been but he was supposed to be bad now. Cena was starting to click as a main event guy though and that’s a really good sign, but the feud with Bischoff didn’t do anything for him as everyone saw it for what it was.

Chicago gets Wrestlemania 22.

We recap JBL vs. Batista. Basically it was supposed to be Muhammad Hassan taking the title off Big Dave but there was the whole terrorist angle (Hassan had terrorist looking guys attack Undertaker on the same day as the 7/7 London bombings and the backlash got Hassan released) so JBL was thrown in. This is a rematch after the Great American Bash where JBL won by DQ, so tonight it’s no holds barred.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL dollars rain from the sky before we get going. The fight starts in the aisle and a belt shot to the head has JBL in trouble. They head over to some of the equipment with JBL being sent into various metal objects. Batista is whipped into a steel case and they brawl through the crowd to ringside where the champion spears JBL through the barricade. A dazed Batista is sent into the post and we finally get inside the ring.

JBL pounds him down into the corner and whips Batista with the timekeeper’s belt. The choke with the belt goes on longer than any human would be alive but Batista fights out and whips JBL with the belt as well. Batista hits the corner shoulders but charges into a boot and JBL’s Clothesline is good for two. JBL brings in the steps and loads up a powerbomb off of them, only to be backdropped down instead. Batista hits the spinebuster and the Batista Bomb but he doesn’t cover. Instead he picks up JBL again and powerbombs him onto the steps for the emphatic pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much at all and the ending was never in doubt. It’s just over nine minutes and about a minute of that was spent on JBL choking Big Dave. JBL was the main event jobber at this point which meant he was ok at best. Batista was still the biggest star in the company at this point but Cena was rising fast.

We recap Hogan vs. Michaels. Hogan was inducted into the Hall of Fame and the fans chanted one more match. HBK was dealing with Muhammad Hassan and Daivari and begged Hogan to join him for one more match. They teamed up for the win at Backlash and became a semi-regular tag team until the 4^th of July when Shawn superkicked Hogan after a win. Shawn accused Hogan of living off a reputation for twenty years, setting up a showdown here tonight. Shawn turned heel for the build because goodness knows Hogan isn’t getting booed on his nostalgia tour.

Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan

Michaels cools his heels on the floor before the bell as the fans are way into this. Hogan easily wins the first lockup and shoves Shawn down a few more times. The fans tell Shawn that he screwed Bret as he hooks a headlock to take over for a few moments. A hard shoulder block puts Shawn on the floor and Michaels stalls again. Back in and Shawn chops away before being whipped onto the top rope for some punts to the ribs. Shawn is crotched on the top and punched in the face for his efforts.

Michaels finally wises up and thumbs Hulk in the eye, only to have Hogan come back with a backdrop. Hogan sends him to the floor and launches him back inside before walking into some right hands and chops. Then comes the mistake as Shawn slaps him in the face, cuing the Hulk Up. Shawn slaps him again….and it seems to work. He fires off more chops but gets sent into the corner for the Flair Flip and a big right hand to send Shawn to the floor.

Hogan drops him on the announce table and pounds away with those “ham-like” right hands. Shawn is posted but Hogan breaks the count at nine. Hogan tries to ram him in again but Shawn slips off and posts Hulk instead. The bald one is cut open and Shawn pounds away at the cut. They fall to the mat with Shawn staying on the assault and the cut being in such a goofy straight line that you almost have to chuckle.

Off to a sleeper with Hogan’s blood GUSHING onto Shawn’s arm. Hogan’s arm only drops twice and he comes out of it with a belly to back suplex. Both guys are down and Hogan looks very confused. Back up and there’s the forearm into the nipup but the big elbow misses. There’s the finger point but another forearm breaks up the big boot. The referee is bumped though just before Shawn nips up again. Shawn goes to the wrong corner for the elbow so instead he puts Hogan in the Sharpshooter as a second referee slides in.

The hold stays on for a LONG time but Shawn has it on so badly that it’s easily believed. Hogan makes the rope so Shawn loads it up again, only to be kicked off and into another referee. With no referee, Shawn hits Hogan low and grabs a chair. A bad looking shot to the head puts Hogan down and there’s the big elbow. It didn’t work for Savage in 89 and it’s not going to work here. Sweet Chin Music gets two and I think you can fill in the blanks here. One Hulk Up, big boot (with infamous overselling that would make Rock say “DUDE tone it WAY down) and a legdrop later and we’re done.

Rating: C-. This is your standard Hogan match but that’s not exactly the best thing to see in 2005. It’s a cool idea for a match in theory but it didn’t quite hold up in actuality. Shawn had to tone his main event style WAY down to let Hogan keep up with him and it was all nostalgia after that. I’m ok with the booking here as Shawn didn’t need the win at all and was the guy to put over everyone in his return so putting over Hogan is fine. The match is worth seeing for historical significance but not much more.

Shawn and Hogan make up and massive posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade as it’s not exactly a bad show, but there’s nothing here that you should go out of your way to see at all. This was a bad time for the company as they were in a big transition to the new stuff but the new guys weren’t ready yet. That leaves an uninteresting show with matches that were easy to predict. It’s not terrible by any means and there are FAR worse shows out there, but this isn’t worth seeing other than the main event for history.

Ratings Comparison

Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Kurt Angle vs. Eugene

Original: A+

Redo: D

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: C+

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C

Redo: C

Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: D

Redo: D+

Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

The Eugene match was because I liked seeing Eugene get beaten up. The overall rating doesn’t even make bad sense.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/08/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2005-shawn-vs-hogan-and-cena-vs-batista/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: March 4, 2004
Location: Savannah Civic Center, Savannah, Georgia
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We have two shows left before Wrestlemania and the show is mostly set on the blue side. It includes the best built match on the card with Smackdown World Champion Eddie Guerrero defending against Kurt Angle. Last week Angle turned it into a morality play, which makes for an interesting story between the two. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Paul Heyman is in his office and welcomes us to the show, which is a very stressful time for him. He narrates a recap of last week’s show with Eddie trying to get at Angle and getting arrested for his efforts, which Heyman says is a familiar place for him. Tonight, both of them will get to tell their side of the story live, in the ring. By that, he means Eddie is ordered to apologize.

Opening sequence.

Steve Austin’s music hits and here’s Brock Lesnar riding out on Austin’s ATV. Lesnar admits to stealing the ATV (I think he’s made that clear) and says it’ll drive over anything, except a tow truck. Unlike Austin, Lesnar has the courage to come on another man’s show and do something he feels like doing. We get a clip of the F5 to Austin and Lesnar promises that Goldberg is next. Actually someone else is next.

Hardcore Holly vs. Brock Lesnar

Holly charges in and kicks Lesnar to the floor but walks into a big spinebuster back inside. It’s already off to the gutwrench that dominated their Royal Rumble match because it worked so well the first time. As Cole calls their Royal Rumble match a classic (egads man), Holly fights up but gets clotheslined outside. Holly manages to post the shoulder and gets two off a belly to back suplex. Lesnar shakes that off though and hits the F5 for the pin. Too short to rate but much more energetic and better than the “classic” at the Rumble.

Post match Lesnar has some beers to Austin’s music.

Danny Basham vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Scotty headlocks him down to start and hits a suplex into some dancing. That earns him a posting and a Fujiwara armbar (makes sense) keeps the shoulder in trouble. The hold doesn’t last long (they probably don’t have the time) so Scotty comes up with a superkick but the referee yells at Rikishi. The distraction lets Doug come in instead, setting up a small package for the pin on Scotty. Just a way to set up the title match at Wrestlemania.

Video on Angle vs. Guerrero.

Angle joins us via satellite and talks about all the horrible things you hear athletes doing today. You can’t open the paper without seeing someone with a drug or legal issue. He’s not going to let that happen again with Eddie. Cole talks about Eddie’s public apology tonight but Eddie isn’t buying it. Would Cole be ok with his children acting like Eddie? If his actions are able to change one person’s mind about Eddie, the boos are worth it. He won’t let people like Eddie take over this company.

This was a great lesson in heel psychology. A heel doesn’t have to be right in their actions. All they have to do is justify their actions in their own mind, which is what Angle has done here. Angle has turned heel, but he still thinks he’s doing the right thing and views himself as the hero in the whole thing. That makes for a great heel turn and Angle is selling it very well.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Funaki

Non-title. Funaki dropkicks him to the floor to start and adds a baseball slide to break up some consultation with Chavo Sr. Back in and Chavo takes over with a shot to the ribs and an abdominal stretch. With the hold on, Chavo Sr. jumps on commentary to complain about his son having to defend the title nine times at Wrestlemania. Funaki gets two off a bulldog as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled here. A high crossbody drops Chavo but Sr. gets on the apron for a distraction. Chavo rams the back of Funaki’s neck into his knee and steals the pin after kind of a weird finish.

Rating: D. I’m not sure what the point is in having Chavo win the match here and take away whatever momentum Funaki could have as a challenger. I know he doesn’t have much of a chance to win the title but why give him a loss when you don’t have to? This could have been good if they had some more time but at three and a half minutes, it’s the longest match on the show so far.

Heyman tells Dawn Marie that it’s time for Eddie’s apology.

Video on the South Africa tour.

Heyman and Dawn Marie are in the ring but he sends her to the back in case things get ugly. Here’s Eddie (on foot this week) and Heyman lays out the reasons Eddie needs to apologize, including knocking Dawn Marie down last week. Eddie actually apologizes….but he was lying! He even mocks Heyman for falling for something like that and looking like the deer in the headlights. Eddie is proud of being a father, husband and the WWE Champion who represents these fans. He going to walk into Wrestlemania XX as WWE Champion but then he’s walking out just the same.

Heyman is livid and says the only thing he disdains more than Eddie as WWE Champion is Eddie as a person. He wishes his hands weren’t tied by the board of directors or he’d give Eddie a beating himself. Eddie: “You couldn’t beat me if I had both hands tied behind my back.” You can figure out where this, including the ending of the show, is going. Heyman makes a match between the two of them for later tonight with Eddie handcuffed. Eddie’s face is perfect as he couldn’t look more relaxed about the whole thing.

Billy Kidman/Ultimo Dragon/Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri/Sakoda/Akio

It needs the time, but I can’t believe the Cruiserweight Open is getting two matches of build. Or that Dragon is still employed. Dragon misses an early spinwheel kick but settles for rolling out of a sunset flip and kicking Sakoda in the chest. Tajiri and Kidman come in with more kicks having Kidman in trouble.

Akio slaps on a bearhug as Tazz completely loses himself in a discussion of what would happen if Tajiri and Akio wind up fighting for the title. Even Cole calls him out for making no sense and Tazz actually concedes. You know it’s stupid if even he’ll admit it. Kidman gets in a bulldog and dives over for the hot tag to Mysterio so things can pick up in a hurry. Everything breaks down and Dragon dives onto Sakoda but Tajiri breaks up the 619. Kidman dives onto him instead and Rey’s spinning DDT finishes Akio.

Rating: C-. This needed about three more minutes as it was really turning into the usual awesome cruiserweight spot fest, which is what these six should be doing. Mysterio is the top challenger for the title at Wrestlemania so having Kidman or Dragon getting the pin here would have made sense, but at least we got something with a little more time.

Heyman swears vengeance on Guerrero and Dawn Marie isn’t talking him out of it.

Here’s the World’s Greatest Tag Team dressed up as the APA (with Shelton as Bradshaw and Charlie as Bradshaw for some reason). Southern jokes run amok, including shots at beer drinking, smoking and marrying your sister’s cousin. Bradshaw thinks Haas and Benjamin are a couple of sexual tyrannosauruses but it’s time for a song.

Just when I’m thinking the only thing missing is a West Texas Rednecks song, THEY SING A WEST TEXAS REDNECKS SONG with APA Is Crap. Cue the real APA for the brawl, followed by the Bashams and Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi. So yes, sixteen people are going to be in two bad Tag Team Title matches. Is it too early to request a battle royal instead? Throw the cruiserweights in there and you’re already at 26.

Wrestlemania recall: Rock vs. Hogan. Well that works, even if they don’t show the Hulk Up.

Big Show vs. A-Train

First up, Cena makes American Idol jokes and promises to win the US Title. The energetic Cena gets shoved down, bringing a smile to his face. They head outside with A-Train clotheslining the post by mistake to give Cena a target. Back in and some arm cranking doesn’t get Cena far as A-Train uses the good arm to clothesline him down.

It’s time to work on Cena’s bad knee with A-Train in trouble as we take a break. Back with Cena firing off some right hands and forearms until more shots to the knee cut him off. Cena’s big clothesline gets him out of trouble and there’s the Shuffle. The FU gives Cena the easy pin.

Rating: D. I can appreciated A-Train working on the knee and all that good stuff but there wasn’t exactly much to see here. They were going with the idea of Cena fighting a giant to set up his more important match against the other giant so the booking is sound, but there’s not much of a way around such a lame match.

Post match Big Show comes out to brag about how awesome he is and lists off the things he’s done. The girls may love Cena’s abs but Big Show isn’t exactly impressed. At Madison Square Garden, everything ends for Cena.

Wrestlemania rundown. It looks good, but really, really long.

Heyman tells the referee to make Eddie’s handcuffs tight. Oh and Heyman will keep the key so he can beat some sense into Eddie.

The Hall of Fame Class of 2004 is announced:

Jesse Ventura

Harley Race

Billy Graham

Tito Santana

Sgt. Slaughter

Bobby Heenan

Don Muraco

Greg Valentine

Big John Studd

Junkyard Dog

Pete Rose

I’m glad the thing is back, but for the first class in nearly ten years, they don’t really have a major headliner, at least not for their time in WWE. Some big names, but the biggest WWE name is….Heenan? Ventura? Maybe Slaughter? Not exactly the big headliner you would expect.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Paul Heyman

Non-title with Eddie’s hands cuffed behind his back and the announcers acting like this is Austin vs. Hogan. Heyman talks a lot of trash and gets kicked into the corner where he shouts in pain. Another kick is enough for Heyman and he walks out….with Angle replacing him as the match ends.

Angle gives him a death stare that would intimidate Ivan Drago before slowly taping his fists. Not being the brightest guy in the world, Eddie gets into the ring (still cuffed) instead of running through the crowd. Angle slowly gets in and stalks Eddie before taking him down so the proper beating can begin. The taped right hand puts Eddie down and the fans chant for the champ. You can see the fear in Eddie’s eyes as he knows he’s screwed. Angle picks up the belt and knocks Eddie cold to end the show. More great stuff from Angle, who came off like a heartless machine here, which makes me want to see Eddie fight back.

Overall Rating: D+. Eddie and Angle are carrying this show on their backs but the weight is a little too much for them. Looking back over this show, there is next to nothing going on that would make me want to see what’s next for Smackdown. We’re ten days from Wrestlemania and there’s one Smackdown match worth seeing. The problem continues to be cramming so much stuff on there and the bad is outweighing the good. I’ve said something similar to this before and it’s true here: the good is very good but the bad is much more uninspiring and dull, which can be a lot worse than bad.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: February 26, 2004
Location: Kemper Arena, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

So Kurt Angle is now full on heel again and that means Smackdown World Champion Eddie Guerrero is in real trouble. On top of that you can see most of the Wrestlemania card and that’s a good thing given how close we are to the show. There are a few interpromotional matches tonight too, meaning we might even see some guest stars tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Angle says people have been asking why he did it. Was it revenge? Jealousy? Or the WWE Championship? We’ll find out tonight. My bet is on hair jealousy.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman vs. Nunzio

The winner gets a Cruiserweight shot at Wrestlemania. Noble jumps Mysterio before Kidman is even out here and it’s a big brawl to start. Hang on though as we cut to the back where Eddie Guerrero goes into Paul Heyman’s office. With Tajiri, Sakoda and Akio in the background, Eddie promises to beat up Angle tonight. Eddie wants to know what Heyman knew about all of this but Paul denies everything.

That’s enough for Eddie so he leaves Heyman to promise to take care of Tajiri and company’s problems. With that out of the way, we go back to the arena for a series of dives to the floor that leaves everyone down. Kidman and Nunzio fight on top with Nunzio getting crotched and Kidman falling to the floor. A double clothesline puts Mysterio and Noble down as we take a break.

Back with Noble’s tiger bomb being reversed into a 619 attempt but Kidman breaks it up with a hard clothesline. Mysterio gets two off a facebuster and a nasty looking moonsault press hits Kidman. Noble makes the save and throws Mysterio outside, followed by a neckbreaker for two on his cousin. As Kidman is sent outside, Mysterio hits the 619 on Nunzio….and here are Heyman and Tajiri and company to say this match is canceled.

Rating: C+. This was getting good until the hitting a wall ending but that’s going to set up a storyline. That being said, I do like the idea of these four starting off the show and giving the fans some high flying. That’s always going to work and it worked here. On the other hand though, you have the cutaway to Eddie, which has its good and bad elements. I like the idea of having things feel more realistic (as in not having Eddie pop in right after a match ends) but I’m never big on cutting away from a match. Just go with a split screen or something. But still, good match.

Heyman says there is no Japanese representation in this match and we can’t have racial discrimination around here. Therefore, at Wrestlemania, it’s going to be a Cruiserweight Open elimination match for the title. Akio and Sakoda hit the ring but Rey suicide dives Tajiri before bailing.

We look back at Eddie winning the title and being attacked by Angle two days later. That was a great heel turn and beatdown.

Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi vs. APA

Non-title and at least it’s not the Bashams again. Faarooq shoves Scotty down like he’s not even there to start so Scotty nips up and moon walks. Thankfully Faarooq punches him in the face and brings Bradshaw in so the pace can pick up (it’s a bad sign when Bradshaw is the more active member of the team).

Scotty throws some right hands and makes a blind tag so Rikishi can hit the belly to belly on Bradshaw. The sitdown splash misses though and brings the announcers back to the match instead of talking about Vince’s announcements on Raw. Scotty offers a distraction so Rikishi can superkick Bradshaw but here are the Bashams for a distraction. The Clothesline finishes Rikishi.

Rating: D. All things considered, this was about as good as it was going to get. Faarooq just couldn’t move anymore and you’re only going to get so much out of the other three in the first place. The ending would seem to set up a multi-team match at Wrestlemania and while these titles don’t need to be defended there, at least it’s some fresh blood in the mix.

Here’s the segment from Raw with Vince announcing Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar for Wrestlemania, Austin being named guest referee, and Lesnar running in to F5 Austin.

Lesnar talks about begging Vince to make the match because Austin brought Goldberg to No Way out, which is why he lost the WWE Championship. You can’t fault his logic. Goldberg can feel pain in New York and if Austin gets involved, he’ll feel OFF THE HOOK pain.

Here’s Eddie for a chat. After soaking in the chants, he talks about winning the title and going back to see his buddies. He doesn’t know how long he’s going to hold the title because he takes it one day at a time. It’s been eleven days as champion now but more importantly he’s been clean from drugs and alcohol for two years now. That was one day at a time too and it’s a formula that works.

Last week changed things though and now he wants Angle out here right now. Eddie wants to deal with him one punch at a time. There’s no Angle so Eddie wants to take the fight to him instead. Eddie storms up the ramp and heads to the back where he finds Heyman and Dawn Marie instead. Heyman has her call the cops, who show up in about four seconds with Angle by their side. It’s almost on but Eddie shoves Heyman into Dawn by mistake, sending Heyman into hysterics. The cops take Eddie out of the arena.

Brock Lesnar vs. Billy Gunn

Brock powers him around but stops after the GOLDBERG chants get under his skin. An overhead belly to belly has Gunn in trouble but he avoids a charge in the corner to send Lesnar shoulder first into the post. Gunn puts on one of the worst cross armbreakers I’ve ever seen and thankfully Brock is right next to the ropes so they can do something else. The Stinger Splash is cut off by a knee to the ribs and a good looking spinebuster gives Lesnar two. As always there’s something cathartic about seeing Gunn get beaten up.

We hit the gutwrench on the mat but since that’s boring even for Lesnar, he throws Gunn down with a German suplex. And never mind as it’s right back to the gutwrench. Billy fights back and hits a running jumping Diamond Cutter (I’m sure Orton will be thrilled) but misses another Stinger Splash. The F5 gives Lesnar the pin.

Rating: D+. Much longer than it needed to be here with Gunn not being the most believable opponent for Lesnar. I know Gunn was a big favorite of the company but I need more than Lesnar beating him up for eight minutes. At least Lesnar won clean and goes into what should be a heck of a fight with Goldberg at Wrestlemania.

Wrestlemania rundown. It’s a heck of a three hour card but they’re stretching it to four. Also, nice touch in having just the Undertaker symbol instead of his picture. Keep things a little more mysterious.

Here are Torrie Wilson and Sable in evening gowns and holding hands because fans go for things like that. Sign in the front row: Playboy cover + lotion = smiley face. Torrie thanks the fans for everything before talking about the Evening Gown match at Wrestlemania. After some sexual innuendo and general trash talk, here’s John Cena to interrupt. Torrie and Sable dancing to Cena’s music in evening gowns is quite the strange visual. Cena makes the exact jokes you would expect about the Playboy….and that’s it as it’s time for the main event.

John Cena/Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show/Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Rey is substituting for Eddie. Chavo and Rey start things off with a quick wrestling sequence before Rey goes with the right hands. A faceplant allows the hot tag off to Show for the huge toss across the ring. That always looks impressive, no matter how many times I’ve seen it. Chavo comes back in and gets caught in the sitout bulldog so Cena can come in with a top rope ax handle to the head. Cena knocks Show off the apron but he’s right back in to break up the FU.

Back from a break with Show working on Cena’s knee, which is still banged up from the Rumble. That’s a heck of a knee injury. The fans get behind Cena but it just seems to make Show angrier, making them quite the nuisance. Cena goes with the sleeper on Show’s back but gets flipped forward without much effort. Show is staggered enough that Cena can get over to Rey though and it’s dropkicks to the knee a go-go.

Since Show can shrug those off, Rey gets thrown down again and Chavo rolls some vertical suplexes. The missed frog splash lets Rey get two off la majistral as everything breaks down. Cena gets sent into the barricade but manages to send Big Show over it for a crash. Back inside, the 619 is enough to put Chavo away. You don’t see that get the pin on its own very often.

Rating: C+. Nice tag match here with both feuds getting some attention. Cena vs. Show should be a good though completely predictable match and that’s perfectly fine. Rey vs. Chavo on the other hand is a match that could take place at any other show but here, it’s something that has been bogged down by having to get a bunch of people on the show. That’s not always pleasant, but I get why it needs to happen.

Post match Show beats up Rey and chokeslams Cena.

Same Angle video that opened the show.

Here’s Angle for his explanation. Angle has been asked why he attacked Eddie and it’s because it was the right thing to do. He attacked Eddie for the fans of Smackdown and for America. Eddie is a former drug addict who tells children that it’s cool to lie, cheat and steal. America was built on character and it needs to go back to its fundamental principles. This country has given us the freedom of choice and Eddie can’t have a clear conscience.

It’s a matter of time before Eddie falls off the wagon and we don’t need a drug addict as WWE Champion. As soon as Eddie won the title, it started eating at Angle’s soul. He knew he had to do something and has even prayed about it. Angle knows he’s going to receive criticism for what he’s done but he had to do it. That’s it for Angle but here’s Eddie to go after him. Cue Heyman with the cops to have Eddie arrested for assault. Angle follows the cuffed Guerrero into the police car and talks a bunch of trash about how much of an embarrassment Eddie is to the title. The car pulls away to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Every week that goes by shows that Smackdown’s contribution to the show is one match but it’s going to be one awesome setup. Everything else is either Raw focused or some interpromotional match and that makes for some interesting television. You have Eddie vs. Angle and Cena vs. Big Show (which isn’t really a major match), meaning TV can be laser focused on those two matches. On the other hand you have Raw where all kinds of matches need focus and nothing can really stand out above the rest. The Eddie vs. Angle stuff was good but the rest was pretty weak, as tends to be the case lately.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: February 19, 2004
Location: SaveMart Arena, Fresno, California
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Viva la new champion. Eddie Guerrero shocked the world (kind of, assuming you didn’t pay attention to the pretty obvious Wrestlemania booking) and defeated Brock Lesnar to become WWE Champion. He even already has his first challenger with Kurt Angle winning a triple threat match to earn the Wrestlemania title shot. Let’s get to it.

Here’s No Way Out if you need a recap.

We open with a quick look at Eddie winning the title. That’s a pretty cool moment.

Paul Heyman has requested Brock Lesnar not appear tonight due to Lesnar’s temper possibly threatening the public safety. Eddie Guerrero may be the new WWE Champion but the celebration may be short lived. Tonight, Eddie will make his first defense against Chavo Guerrero. As a bonus, there will be a special guest referee to be announced later. Why do I expect him to be bald and told that he sucks?

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle to the chorus of YOU SUCKs for a chat. Angle asks if we’re ready to party because tonight is about Eddie. He was never one of Eddie’s critics and it’s going to be a privilege to face Eddie for the title at Wrestlemania. Angle actually has the fans give Eddie three cheers but here’s John Cena to interrupt. Cena mocks Angle for actually saying HIP HIP HOORAY over Eddie. Cena: “I gotta agree with these people. You suck!”

Since three cheers aren’t exactly Cena’s style, he has one side of the arena say Latino and the other says Heat. With that out of the way, Cena praises Angle for making it to Wrestlemania. The thing is though, the chants make it sound like Eddie is going to take care of Angle. Cena is ready to fight but here’s Heyman with a better idea.

John Cena/Kurt Angle vs. Basham Brothers

Angle and Danny start things off with Kurt easily taking him to the mat. An armbar keeps Danny down until it’s off to Cena for a spinebuster on Doug. Angle gets tossed into Cena to knock him to the floor and the fight is almost on. Back from a break with Doug working on Cena’s banged up knee, even shrugging off a headbutt to the head to stay on it. Cena slips out of a slam though and scores with a DDT to put Danny down.

That’s enough for the hot tag off to Angle and let’s hit those suplexes. Danny slips out of the Angle Slam though and sends Kurt into Doug. Cole describes this as some vintage Basham double teaming, even though the Bashams have been around for what, eight months? Angle gets sent to the floor, leaving Cena grab the FU for the pin on Danny.

Rating: C+. In a surprise to no one, Cena and Angle have some good chemistry together whether facing each other or teaming together. This was a nice match and while the tag division can’t really handle the few established teams taking a loss, it’s not like there are many options to face Angle and Cena at the moment.

Stills of Chavo Guerrero Jr. cheating to beat Rey Mysterio for the Cruiserweight Title.

We look back at Hardcore Holly defeating Big Show in a non-title match last month, setting up a title match tonight. The lack of hardcore rules don’t help Holly here.

Mysterio comes in to see Heyman, who summarizes everything he thinks Mysterio is going to say. Actually Rey wants a rematch, which Heyman grants….if Chavo wins the WWE Title tonight. That’s not a bad little twist. Rey is cool with that and agrees to take the rest of the night off.

Here’s Eddie for his big championship celebration and he comes through the crowd for a nice touch. Confetti and balloons fall to really make this feel special, until the balloons are popped to make it a little more annoying. He even gets pyro when he holds the title up. Eddie asks if all this fuss is about him and talks about becoming the new champion along with everyone else.

To everyone who was with him all along, gracias. To everyone else, Spanish swearing. Eddie wants to know who is going to celebrate with him so here are the Chavos. Jr. talks about having one of the biggest moments of his life but IT’S STILL ALL ABOUT EDDIE. This is so Owen vs. Bret it’s not even funny. Eddie offers him a balloon in a much funnier moment but Jr. wants to be serious.

After tonight, this is all over and he’ll have two titles. Eddie isn’t convinced but Jr. has a surprise: the guest referee is Chavo Sr. So….why does Heyman hate Eddie? Just general heel vs. face reasons? I mean, you knew the story was going to happen but a justification or reason might be nice.

US Title: Big Show vs. Hardcore Holly

Show is defending and brushes off Holly’s early jumping. Ever the fighter, Holly even kicks at the knee from his back so Show tosses him around some more. A shoulder to the ribs does put Show down but he avoids the top rope legdrop. The chokeslam retains the title in short order. So long Holly, it wasn’t very pleasant.

Post match here’s Cena again, this time with a challenge for the US Title at Wrestlemania. Show says it’s on and it’s time to teach Cena a lesson. How to have a six month title reign in three short defenses?

Brock Lesnar is here.

Video on Lesnar vs. Goldberg from Sunday.

Here’s a ticked off Lesnar for a chat. Lesnar is rather upset in losing his title because it meant a lot to him. Eddie is just going to pawn it, unlike an All-American like Lesnar. All of this happened because of Goldberg and that means there’s a price to pay. Lesnar begs Vince to set up the match at Wrestlemania, even begging on his knees. That’s quite the visual from Lesnar. Imagine: him having emotion and, dare I say, a personality.

Sr. gives Jr. a pep talk.

Sable and Torrie Wilson had a Playboy signing in New York. There’s something so weird about that.

Tazz plugs a behind the scenes look at the Playboy shoot in Smackdown Magazine. Do these people get how Playboy works?

Recap of Undertaker’s latest creepy warnings to Kane.

Sr. has been knocked unconscious and since Angle happens to be there, he’ll be guest referee tonight. Well duh.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Only Eddie is defending and Angle is guest referee. The title does look great on Eddie. A toss of the title to Chavo lets Eddie take over early on, including the slingshot hilo. Chavo’s comeback is cut off by an early Gory Stretch as Tazz makes a good point: Chavo won a title too and doesn’t even get a celebration? A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets Chavo out of trouble and he hits his own rolling verticals.

Chavo’s good looking frog splash hits raised knees but Eddie sends him hard to the floor. Cue Sr. to yell at Eddie though, allowing Jr. to grab a rollup for two. Eddie rolls some verticals of his own but he bangs up his knee off a missed frog splash. Now it’s Mysterio running out to hit a 619 around the post on Sr. as we take a break. Back with Chavo working the knee, including a half crab Liontamer. That goes nowhere so Chavo switches gears with a dropkick instead.

A Muta Lock goes back to the knee and we hit the half crab again. Eddie fights up and snaps off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker of his own (nice touch of them having a lot of the same offense due to growing up together and being in the same family) but it bangs up the knee again. The knee is fine enough for a top rope superplex, though he almost drops Chavo on the way down. There’s some blood on Eddie’s chest and Chavo’s ear (not exactly combinations you often see) and Eddie makes it worse with a powerbomb. The frog splash connects but Angle stops counting at two and attacks Eddie for the no contest.

Rating: B. More good stuff from these two, which isn’t exactly surprising given how well they know each other. There wasn’t a ton of drama for a new champion, but you don’t need to have the big title match two days after Eddie wins the title and especially not a month before Wrestlemania. Just let him have a showcase and set up Wrestlemania in the end. Perfectly fine choices and a good match too.

Post match Angle beats the heck out of Eddie until Mysterio runs in for a failed save. Angle mauls him too and Eddie is busted open to end the show. The EDDIE cheers make Angle even madder and he hits Eddie with the title to end the show after a good beatdown and heel turn.

Overall Rating: C+. Given that the entire show was three matches and two of them involved Eddie and Angle, you can’t say much else about this week. The big angle at the end was great and Cena vs. Show being set for Wrestlemania is the expected and right way to go. Smackdown is already looking better than Raw, but the rest of the card doesn’t have much time to get set up. Good stuff tonight, lead by two of the best around.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

No Way Out 2004
Date: February 15, 2004
Location: Cow Palace, San Francisco, California
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final pay per view before Wrestlemania XX and we’ve got a one match card. Well two if you stretch a bit. The main event is Brock Lesnar defending the Smackdown World Title against Eddie Guerrero, who has reached the point where he almost has to win the title. Other than that we have a triple threat match for the next World Title shot at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Here are Playboy cover girls Torrie Wilson and Sable to open things up. They’ve been enjoying San Francisco and now it’s time for you to enjoy them. There’s nothing the two of them won’t do so welcome to the show.

The opening video looks at Lesnar vs. Guerrero, focusing on Eddie’s family falling apart because of his addiction issues. Now he’s clean though and the title is the only thing left for him to win. Nothing else even gets a mention.

Tag Team Titles: Basham Brothers/Shaniqua vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi

Scotty and Rikishi are defending. Danny and Scotty start things off as the announcers try to figure out if Shaniqua would be a champion if they win. That’s rather different than say at Wrestlemania V where Monsoon and Ventura knew the rules and said Mr. Fuji was just a partner for one night. Heaven forbid the announcers aren’t bumbling knuckleheads though and actually have to call the match.

Scotty dances a bit for a distraction and grabs a tilt-a-whirl headscissors to put Danny down. It’s off to Rikishi and Doug with a hard clothesline keeping the champs in control. Shaniqua gets pulled in but it’s too early for a Stinkface. Scotty comes back in but Shaniqua gets in a cheap shot from the apron to break up the Worm. Leave it to her to make sure there’s no fun to be had in a match.

She comes in legally for the first time and shows off that Tough Enough style of offense, consisting of a kick to the ribs and a slam before a backdrop allows the tag off to Rikishi. A bad DDT puts Danny down and Shaniqua jumps on Rikishi’s back. The Rump Shaker is broken up by a double powerbomb to give Shaniqua two. Scotty clotheslines both Bashams, leaving Shaniqua to take a Samoan drop and the Rump Shaker to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. That would be it for Shaniqua and I don’t know how many people are going to miss her. The dominatrix thing was a waste of a perfectly fine tag team and after two years, Shaniqua was little more than a not great manager. The match was all it needed to be and the fans liked the ending, but it wasn’t exactly in doubt. Now maybe the Bashams can be an acceptable team again.

We recap Nidia vs. Jamie Noble. Nidia was blinded by Tajiri’s mist so Noble started treating her like dirt. It turned out that Nidia had regained her sight and knew what was going on so she turned on Noble for being a jerk. Tonight, Noble will be blindfolded.

Jamie Noble vs. Nidia

Noble can’t see so he falls out to the floor, allowing Nidia to slap him in the face. Back in and Nidia hits a dropkick and jumps on the mat a bit to throw Noble off. Noble manages to back her into the corner and doesn’t realize that she’s a foot in front of her. With that out of the way, Nidia pulls his shorts down for the comedy. A grab of the leg doesn’t get Noble anywhere as Nidia sends him outside again. Back in and Nidia taunts him a bit before tripping Noble to the mat. Nidia finally starts beating on him and goes up, allowing Noble to pull the hood up to slam Nidia back down. A guillotine choke makes Nidia tap in a hurry.

Rating: F. You can tell Smackdown is in trouble as this is as good of a way as they can find to fill in the pay per view time. The comedy here was something a six year old might find funny and while Nidia is miles better than Shaniqua, she still looks like someone who has only been doing this for a short time. Just awful here and no reason to have it on pay per view other than a way to fill in a spot.

Kurt Angle says he’s ready to go to Wrestlemania but John Cena comes in to say not so fast. He’s the kind of guy who would knock Angle out like someone did on Smackdown, but he would do it to Angle’s face. The fight is on and referees break it up.

World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. APA

This was added on Smackdown and Bradshaw has a bad arm coming in. Shelton and Faarooq start things off and we flash back to 1999 with an APA chant. Benjamin takes him down to start so Faarooq elbows him in the face, which plays into the grapplers vs. strikers theme that the announcers were pushing at the start. It’s off to Bradshaw for some forearms to Haas’ back before Faarooq gets sent arm first into the post. So now both Faarooq and Bradshaw have bad arms and Benjamin drops a knee on Faarooq’s to keep up the momentum.

Back to back armbars have Faarooq in even more trouble but he gets in the spinebuster for a breather. The hot tag brings in Bradshaw to clean house with a big boot and a powerslam. A hard powerslam gets two on Benjamin as everything breaks down. Faarooq’s arm goes into the post but Bradshaw hits the super Last Call on Shelton. There’s the Clothesline to Haas but the arm gives out, allowing Shelton to nail a superkick for the pin.

Rating: D. So you have Bradshaw come in with an arm injury and then work on Faarooq’s arm with Bradshaw’s arm only flaring up at the end? That sounds like it’s a little more complicated than it needs to be, especially in a match that could have been on Smackdown. Then again, if it aired there, we might only have an hour and fifteen minute pay per view.

Goldberg arrives, complete with a front row ticket. Even he doesn’t care about the lame first forty minutes.

Video on Lesnar vs. Goldberg.

With Goldberg in the front row, here’s Paul Heyman to yell at him about how great Smackdown is compared to Raw. Goldberg can only sit there because if he gets up, security will be taking him out and have him arrested. That brings Goldberg to his feet so here’s Lesnar to say he’s going to take care of Goldberg later on. Threats are made so Goldberg gets in the ring for the showdown. Heyman offers a distraction so Lesnar can drive Goldberg into the corner but the F5 is countered and the Jackhammer plants Lesnar as Heyman screams for security. They come out in short order and Goldberg is handcuffed.

Hardcore Holly vs. Rhyno

This was added on Heat and is a Smackdown rematch. Holly runs out while Lesnar is still down but security gets him out of there. Eh point for continuity, even if Holly stops almost immediately and waits for Rhyno. The fight starts in the aisle but Holly keeps up the aggression inside with a headlock. The announcers completely ignore the match (well duh) and for once it makes sense. Tazz: “This is Smackdown!” Actually it’s a pay per view but given that we’re seeing a Smackdown rematch, I can see how you would make the mistake.

Rhyno gets in a kick to the ribs to take over and drives a shoulder in the corner. We hit the bodyscissors with Rhyno getting two, earning a quick bit of attention from Cole. Rhyno shouts a lot and whips Holly hard into the corner to weaken the ribs even more. A double clothesline is good for a double knockdown and let’s go to Spanish commentary for a little flavor. It’s Holly up first with a running dropkick for two but Rhyno superplexes him down for two of his own. The Gore connects but sends Holly outside for a nine count. Back in and the Alabama Slam is good for the very fast pin. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: D. Was there any need to have this match go on for ten minutes? I mean, other than filling in time on a show that is going to be lucky to break two and a half hours? Holly’s push has at least cooled way down and if he’s just beating Rhyno, I think we’re going to be fine. It wasn’t exactly a great idea in the first place but at least it was only for one pay per view.

Long recap of Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. Chavo turned on his uncle Eddie a few weeks back and has gotten a lot more aggressive as a result. This included getting in a fight with Mysterio, who accused (likely accurate) Chavo and Chavo Sr. of attacking Eddie backstage. Chavo showed his jealous of Rey, setting up the match for the Cruiserweight Title. Mysterio has boxer Jorge Paez in his corner to cancel out Chavo Sr.

Undertaker’s gong goes off and his video plays. The dead rise again in 28 days. Cole: “If my calculations are correct, it’s 28 days until Wrestlemania!” I miss the days when wrestling didn’t think fans were this stupid.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Mysterio is defending and has Paez in his corner while Chavo has his dad. After arm work goes nowhere, Rey speeds things up with a dropkick to the floor. Back in and Chavo gets serious with a gutbuster and he gets two off back to back slams. Chavo’s armbar doesn’t get him anywhere as Rey hits a quick 619 but Sr. breaks up the West Coast Pop. One heck of a left hand from Paez puts him down but that’s an ejection to get us down to 2-1.

A big dive takes Chavo down and Rey gets two off a rollup back inside. Rey goes up but Chavo reverses into Dean Malenko’s super gutbuster (not quite as good but still looked painful) to really bang up the ribs. We hit the abdominal stretch as the announcers talk about the history of wrestling in this building. Can we get someone who knows a bit more what they’re talking about and listen to that for an hour instead?

A half crab version of the Liontamer stays on the ribs and a tilt-a-whirl gutbuster makes things even worse. Rey finally gets in the sitout bulldog for two and you can see him having trouble breathing from the ribs. A headscissors sends Chavo shoulder first into the post and Rey gets two off a Stroke. They head to the apron with a DDT giving Rey two more (Tazz: “Hard part of the ring!” So what was the hardest part back in 2004? I need more information.) but Chavo starts ripping at the mask.

You don’t do that to a luchador to Rey hits a moonsault press for two more. Another 619 connects but the springboard seated senton is rolled through into another half crab. Rey grabs a rope for the break after a better false finish than you would have expected. The referee yells at Chavo for no apparent reason as Rey goes up, only to have Sr. shoves him down, allowing Chavo to grab a rollup with tights for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. They were starting to cook there at the end and then went with the lame interference ending with Chavo Sr. You could just as easily have had Chavo pull the tights and win that way after his rib work wasn’t enough to finish the job but this came out of nowhere. Chavo had to win here though and while we did get the right ending, I wasn’t crazy on how we got there.

Post match, Chavo goes to Eddie’s dressing room door and says Eddie will always be a loser because he’s an addict.

We get a three way tale of the tape for the triple threat and it’s so weird to see Cena with nothing as far as career accomplishments.

Big Show vs. John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Winner gets the title shot at Wrestlemania. Before the match, Cena says he didn’t attack Angle and says it was Big Show instead. Somehow that involved at least one gay joke. Cena chills in the corner as Show tosses Angle across the ring in a rather smart move. Show does it again and Cena is so fired up that he tries his luck with Show, only to be thrown down just as hard.

Angle gets smart by suplexing Cena but gets dumb by thinking Show is going to let him get a cover. A toss to the floor bangs up Cena’s bad knee, leaving Show to side slam Angle for two. Show beats them both up, allowing Cole to say that Show has never been this dominant. I’d again like to point out that during this dominant run, SHOW HASN’T WON ANYTHING! Oh yeah he beat Billy freaking Gunn. That warrants this kind of over the top praise? Angle posts Show to put him down, leaving Cena to take some right hands back inside.

The ProtoBomb drops Angle for two but Show is back in for more of that dominance. Show chops away, which Cole says is like hitting yourself with a skillet. I’d think it’s more like having someone else hit you with a skillet but I could see how Cole wouldn’t be able to understand that. Show misses a charge in the corner and Cena kicks him in the knee, setting up a top rope elbow to the head. Angle puts Show down with a missile dropkick and the FU drops Show again.

Cena DDTs Angle for good measure but Show sends him outside. That leaves Angle to get two off the Angle Slam, followed by the ankle lock to Cena. Show is back up with a chokeslam to both guys but Angle breaks up the cover on Cena with an ankle lock. That’s broken up as well and it’s Cena taking over, only to have Show punch him in the knee. The knee is sent into the buckle and an Angle Slam puts Show on the floor. The ankle lock with the knee bar makes Cena tap.

Rating: C+. Angle winning was the pretty clear ending as Cena is way too young to get that big of a spot and Show winning would go against the main principle of him being dominant: he can’t actually win anything important. The match was fine and the knee injury played a role, though a lot of it was the standard two in, one out formula. Trying to keep Show down made sense but it’s been done so many times before that it’s hard to get excited over seeing it again.

We recap Lesnar vs. Guerrero. Eddie won a Royal Rumble last month to earn the spot and Lesnar doesn’t seem to be taking him seriously. Brock is looking ahead to facing Goldberg at some point but Eddie is fighting to redeem himself after all of his addiction issues nearly ruined his life.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Brock Lesnar

Guerrero is challenging. The confident Lesnar powers him around to start and knees Eddie in the ribs a few times. Some EDDIE chants fire him up but another right hand cuts Eddie back down. A powerbomb and then a swinging toss has Eddie thinking he might be in over his head and an overhead belly to belly makes things even worse. Brock knees him in the face as the announcers keep pushing the idea that Eddie has no chance.

Another suplex sends Eddie outside as it’s complete dominance so far. Eddie manages to snap Lesnar’s throat across the ropes and wraps the knee around the post for his first real offense. Brock posts him right back though and adds the Shell Shock (complete with a bit of marching) for two. A very hard clothesline sets up a German suplex to rock Eddie all over again but this time Lesnar is a bit slower to follow up.

Brock misses the running knee in the corner though and falls out to the floor, holding his knee off the bad landing. Eddie follows him out with a dive and you can feel the fans trying to get back into this. Back in and a hot shot sends Eddie’s ribs into the ropes as a group of security is dealing with someone in the crowd. Eddie is reeling but grabs the knee, pulling Lesnar down into an STF. He can’t hold on very long so he goes with a stomp to the knee instead.

The knee is fine enough for another belly to belly but Eddie dropkicks the knee again. A Figure Four has the knee in even more trouble until Lesnar realizes he’s next to the rope. Eddie isn’t done and goes back to the STF and this time Lesnar isn’t strong enough to power out immediately. He eventually rolls over and grabs a spinebuster for two. It’s off to something like a crossface chickenwing to keep Eddie down so the fans are right there with the cheers. Eddie fights out and goes up but whiffs on the missile dropkick.

A vertical suplex (with a quick leg sell) puts Eddie down and Lesnar’s nose is busted. Brock grabs a gutwrench on the mat as he’s figured out he’s not great toe to toe with Eddie due to the speed advantage so he sticks with the power game on the mat. Eddie finally slips out and dropkicks the knee again, which clearly takes away a lot of Lesnar’s fire in short order. The rolling suplexes have Lesnar down but Eddie misses the frog splash.

Lesnar is back up with the F5 but the referee gets bumped. With no one to count, Lesnar goes to get the title and heeeeere’s Goldberg (security around here sucks) with a spear. That gives Eddie two so he loads up the title but gets caught in an F5. That’s reversed into a DDT next to the title (really it was about a foot away), setting up the frog splash for the pin and the title.

Rating: A. I remember seeing this around the time that it happened live and it didn’t really have much of an impact on me. Watching it back though and seeing Eddie’s rise up the card and hanging in there against Lesnar, especially with all the psychology, was outstanding. Eddie winning feels special and that’s not something you get to see very often. Goldberg’s interference was fine and while Lesnar probably had him beat, it was Eddie’s own stuff beating Lesnar in the end instead of Goldberg doing the work to get the pin. Incredibly match and great storytelling with Eddie playing a great underdog.

A huge celebration, including Eddie hugging his mom, ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a really hard one to grade as the show doesn’t even run two and a half hours, which is ridiculous for what’s supposed to be a major pay per view. That includes the opening with Sable and Torrie, the long Heyman/Goldberg/Lesnar segment and the main event going thirty minutes. The first four matches ranged from watchable to a bad comedy segment and I need a little more than that for half of the card.

On the other hand though, the main event, which is over 20% of the show not even counting entrances and video package, was an instant classic and a feel good moment that had me smiling despite not being a huge Eddie fan. The triple threat was perfectly fine and Rey vs. Chavo was good, meaning the second half of the show bails the heck out of the card. If you turn this into an In Your House, it’s a near classic but for a three hour show, it’s very lucky that Eddie vs. Lesnar was that good. Wrestlemania is shaping up though and really, that’s what a big chunk of this show was supposed to do.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/08/05/no-way-out-2004-when-all-else-fails-give-them-more-eddie/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: February 12, 2004
Location: Tacoma Dome, Tacoma, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for No Way Out and that means we’re in for a lot more Eddie Guerrero vs. Brock Lesnar. That’s a very good thing too as it’s the best thing on this show, which isn’t exactly a high bar to clear at the moment. However, since we’re about a month away from Wrestlemania, there’s a strong chance that we’ll be seeing more on Goldberg vs. Lesnar, which received a lot of attention on Monday. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at Smackdown General Manager Paul Heyman showing up on Raw to talk about Lesnar and getting speared by Goldberg instead. Please let that be the majority of the time this story gets.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri

Non-title and Mysterio again has boxer Jorge Paez in his corner. Tajiri charges straight into a boot in the corner and gets headscissored down, setting up the sitout bulldog. Cue Chavo and Chavo though, allowing Tajiri to get in a shot from behind. The camel clutch goes on as the fans chant for Eddie. Rey rolls out without much effort and hits a basement dropkick, which Cole calls unique. A kick to the ribs cuts Mysterio off as Cole wonders if the fans know that No Way Out is in three days. Depends on if he means the live fans or the ones at home. Rey hits a quick 619 into the springboard seated senton for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. I’m still not sure why we need two people coming out for a distraction in a three minute match but WWE wouldn’t know what they were doing without some kind of shenanigans. Mysterio vs. Chavo could be fun, especially if they’re allowed to wrestle the kind of match that suits them best.

Post match the Chavos attack but Paez makes the save, dances a bit, nips up twice in a row, and knocks Sr. silly with a left hand.

Cole and Tazz rant about Goldberg attacking Heyman on Monday. Must be time to care about the brands again.

Lesnar comes in to see Heyman and recaps the Goldberg ticket/Heyman goes to Smackdown stories. Heyman is very sore but Lesnar gets rather intense and promises to retain the title before beating up Goldberg for fun. Then the people will be chanting WHO’S GOLDBERG. The guy you just beat up perhaps?

Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Danny Basham

The Tag Team Title rematch is on Sunday but it’s a handicap match with Shaniqua joining the Bashams. I’m sure nothing but good will come from this. Scotty starts fast and sends Danny into the corner with more authority than you would expect. A dropkick gets two and takes Danny down with an armbar. Doug’s distraction lets Danny get in a thumb to the eye and it’s cravate time. A belly to back is good for two and we’ll try another cravate. Scotty makes a comeback with clotheslines but charges into an elbow in the corner. A cradle with Doug pushing Danny forward is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Certainly not the worst match but Rikishi and Scotty aren’t exactly thrilling champions. The problem though is there aren’t exactly any positive options for the titles outside of Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. At the very least the new champions means less of Shaniqua on my TV and that’s an improvement by itself.

Post match Rikishi and Scotty beat up the Bashams, who manage to save Shaniqua from a Rump Shaker.

Mysterio and Paez speak Spanish and promise to beat up Chavo and Chavo on Sunday. Chavo wants to take away the mask and the title but Mysterio isn’t letting that happen.

Chavo Jr. is annoyed that Chavo Sr. has ice on his face and promises to beat down the jumping bean on Sunday. Then Sr. will beat up Paez. Sr.: “WHAT?”

Kurt Angle is confident that he’ll win on Sunday. One of his opponents thinks he’s Eminem and the other eats M&Ms so he can move on to Wrestlemania.

Hardcore Holly vs. Rhyno

It looks like our long national Why Is Holly Being Pushed-mare is over. Holly takes him to the mat to start in an opening I didn’t quite expect. A hiptoss puts Rhyno down again and Holly whips him hard into the corner for two. Back up and Rhyno lifts him up for a powerbomb, dropping Holly face first onto the buckle to take over. It’s off to a bodyscissors so it’s time to talk about No Way out with Tazz trying to talk about what’s right in front of us. The spinebuster puts Holly down again but he dropkicks the Gore away. Rhyno hammers away in the corner but shoves the referee for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. Rhyno working the ribs was fine as it looked to be setting up the Gore but you’re only going to get so much out of these two having a match with that finish. Holly is getting back to where he belongs though and that’s one of the best things that could come out of this. It wasn’t terrible, but what else were you expecting here?

They keep brawling post match with referees breaking it up.

Angle has been attacked backstage and is taken away by medics.

As Angle is having a neck brace put on, there’s a Mariachi band playing in the ring. This company really needs to learn something about transitions. Anyway the band is the F Cincos and here’s Lesnar dancing to the ring in a sombrero. Brock says he’s throwing Eddie a little celebration tonight because Sunday is going to be a very sad day. The band plays again, with Brock showing more energy than I’ve ever seen from him as he conducts.

Eddie runs in to clear the ring but Brock eventually gets back in. He paid good money for those guys to swim here and this is how Eddie repays them? Brock knows that Eddie is a fighter and the fans start an EDDIE chant. On Sunday, Eddie is fighting Lesnar instead of the odds and this time he can’t win. Brock is going to torture him because while Eddie was an addict, Brock was winning NCAA and WWE Championships. Eddie better be addicted to losing because he’ll get a fix on Sunday.

It’s true that Eddie is an addict and a few years ago in Minneapolis, he was very high at an event. Someone carried him from an arena into rehab but he did that to himself. He lost everything like his wife, his job and his kids, but he lost himself. At that point he had to make a decision and now he’s here in front of you. He’s earned the respect of his kids and gotten his life back day by day.

The title around Lesnar’s waist is Eddie’s way of saying he’s sorry and of telling his kids that they can have what they want. This ring is his new addiction and on Sunday, he’s going to get high again. I remember watching this live and it’s still a great promo with Eddie selling the fact that he has to win because this is his life. For Brock it’s just another match against someone beneath him, which makes for a really strong Sunday going into Sunday.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Bradshaw

The teams are set for a match on Sunday. Bradshaw takes him down by the arm to start and gets as far as you’re going to get against Benjamin on the ground. The Last Call works a bit better and Haas’ distraction just lets Faarooq low bridge Benjamin to the floor. Back in and the Clothesline is blocked to damage Bradshaw’s arm. Benjamin stays on him with a Fujiwara armbar but Bradshaw doesn’t seem to mind. Back up and a big boot sets up a clothesline with the arm seeming fine. A superkick gives Benjamin two but the Clothesline takes his head off for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is some weird night of the midcard matches but they haven’t been the worst. I’m not sure why I’d want to see the APA in a pay per view tag match in 2004 but they only have so much they can use on a brand split show. The arm thing was a fine enough idea but it didn’t go anywhere with Bradshaw hitting the Clothesline anyway.

Angle is waking up and the suspects in his attack are Big Show, Cena and Lesnar.

Here’s Jamie Noble to address his issues with Nidia. Jamie isn’t happy with her spending all of his inheritance money. He should have dumped her when she went blind because he can have any woman in this crowd that he wanted. Nidia can still get out of this if she gives him back all the stuff he got her and leaves his life for good.

Cue Nidia in a truck with a wood chipper attached with an announcement: Noble is going to wrestle blindfolded on Sunday. Oh dear. Anyway, one of the guys in the truck with her demonstrates the wood chipper and Nidia throws the coat in. Was the wood chipper really necessary? Couldn’t they have accomplished the same result with some paint or a pair of scissors?

And now, a sitdown interview with Torrie Wilson and Sable talking about shooting Playboy together. Oh and there’s no sexual tension between them, but they both find each other hot. They’re friends now and just happen to be together in the magazine. This is exactly as you would expect it to be as they’re suddenly all good.

Pay per view rundown.

Kurt Angle/Eddie Guerrero vs. Big Show/Brock Lesnar

There’s no Angle so it’s time for a substitution.

John Cena/Eddie Guerrero vs. Big Show/Brock Lesnar

Show and Cena get things going with Show being knocked outside early on. It’s already off to Lesnar and Eddie with Guerrero getting the better of a slugout and reversing a gorilla press into a quick rollup. Some shots to the ribs have Lesnar in more trouble but a spinebuster evens things out in a hurry. Show comes back in to throw Eddie around, only to miss a sitdown splash. It’s back to Cena, who eats a headbutt in short order.

Cole asks if anyone has ever been on a roll like Show, who again hasn’t exactly won anything of significance this year. Eddie low bridges Show and Lesnar to the floor and checks on Cena as we take a break. Back with Cena caught in an abdominal stretch and a Shell Shock gets two. Lesnar grabs a gutwrench and cuts off Cena’s comeback with a knee to the ribs. A waistlock keeps Cena down and it’s back to Show.

The next Cena comeback is stopped with a boot to the face but Cena gets in a clothesline. The Throwback, with Show spinning around to land on his back instead of face first and a DDT still aren’t enough for the hot tag as Lesnar comes in to deck Eddie. Cena DDTs Lesnar as well and NOW the hot tag can bring Eddie in. The rolling suplexes connect and Show gets dropkicked off the apron. A missile dropkick gets two on Lesnar as Cena and Show fight to the floor. Cue Angle to chair the two of them down, leaving Eddie to hit Lesnar low with the chain for the pin.

Rating: C+. Eddie winning is the right call as he doesn’t have the best odds going into Sunday. It’s also a good idea to have Angle run in and advance the triple threat a little bit as the match doesn’t have a lot of hype so far. The match itself wasn’t bad though it was a little long with the ribs work on Cena taking its sweet time. The ending helped though and the thing was enough of a success on both fronts.

Overall Rating: D+. This show really emphasized how much of a one match card Sunday is going to be with only Eddie vs. Lesnar having any fire. The triple threat should be good but it’s not like there’s other than those two matches. I’m not exactly interested in Shaniqua in a title match, Nidia vs. Noble or the World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Bradshaw and the guy who used to be Faarooq. Hopefully Eddie and Lesnar can save it, as they almost did here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: February 5, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Somehow we’re just over a week away from No Way Out which has really snuck up. Last week’s great battle royal saw Eddie Guerrero become #1 contender, which could set up a heck of a match with Brock Lesnar. That being said, his win came at the expense of Kurt Angle, who probably won’t be happy with being eliminated last. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the end of the battle royal with Eddie winning the title shot for the biggest match in his career.

Paul Heyman is in the ring to talk about how awesome last week was because it gave Eddie the chance to capitalize on an opportunity. That opportunity comes in ten days, but what about tonight? We’re coming up on Wrestlemania and need a #1 contender for that night, and anyone wrestling tonight will be in the running for that spot. That’s it for Heyman, who isn’t the kind of General Manager who will stand around talking all night.

Tag Team Titles: Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are defending and get jumped from behind at the bell. You can’t even pose in peace around here anymore. Shaniqua offers a distraction though and Danny gets in a clothesline from the apron to take over. A double hot shot gets two on Scotty and Doug takes over in the corner. Some crossface shots to the jaw keep Scotty on the mat, followed by a neckbreaker for two.

Scotty gets in a clothesline though and the hot tag brings in Rikishi for some quick house cleaning. A superkick puts Doug down and Danny gets sent to the floor, leaving Scotty to load up the Worm. Shaniqua makes a save but has to be saved from the Rump Shaker. With Danny still on the floor, the Samoan drop to Doug gives Rikishi the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. Nothing to this one and I’m not sure how much better things are going to get with Rikishi and Scotty as champions. The Bashams just weren’t working and while they got a lot better once some of the S&M stuff went away, they were already ruined and there wasn’t much of a way around it. At least it was short.

And now, a look back at how last week’s battle royal was set up, along with a look at the battle royal itself. That seems random, but there might be a reason for it.

There was another match taped right around here that didn’t make air. Ernest Miller pinned Tajiri in a rather short match when he ducked the Buzzsaw kick and won with a rollup. It was pulled from the airing and Miller was released the next week. The video of the match, with commentary, is available online and it’s not that bad. It’s not even two minutes long and doesn’t have time to be that bad. Orlando Jordan ran in to save Miller from a post match beatdown at Akio/Sakoda’s hands and danced a bit after.

The match wasn’t great but I can’t imagine it was bad enough to warrant firing him over. The only other possible reason I can find that it didn’t air was a line from Tazz where he said Tajiri ate cats. I mean, that’s bad but they couldn’t edit the audio? Maybe they cut the match because they knew Miller would be gone soon but it’s still rather odd.

Dawn Marie and Paul Heyman come in to see John Cena. The show has been getting some complaints about Cena’s content so he’s off the show tonight to take care of the children. Heyman does want Cena to stick around tonight for the #1 contenders announcement. Cena hitting on Dawn while time Heyman complained about him was funny.

US Title: Big Show vs. Billy Gunn

Show is defending for the first time since winning the title in OCTOBER. Why is Gunn getting the shot you ask? Well he hit Show with a Fameasser last week in the battle royal. Nothing but that, but it was indeed a Fameasser. Tazz’s thought on the match: Show wants to keep the title. Gunn tries to use some quickness to start so a single knee to the stomach cuts him off.

A missed clothesline sends Show to the floor and Gunn tries some chops, earning himself a right hand to the head. There’s something cathartic about seeing Gunn getting hit in the face. Back from a break with another look at that right hand, which might be the high spot so far. It’s off to a cobra clutch in a match that doesn’t need a rest hold. Cole takes another opportunity to talk about how AMAZING Big Show has been lately, mainly focusing on him not winning two battle royals.

Another loud chop takes Gunn down again and Show hits a catapult, though it seemed to miss the target of the bottom rope and sent Gunn flying instead. The chokeslam is countered with a dropkick though and the Fameasser gets two. Gunn loads it up again (because that always works) but gets countered into something like a powerbomb (looked like it was supposed to be a chokeslam but Show’s hand was on the stomach) to retain.

Rating: D-. I waited nearly four months for that? This was exactly what you would expect from a Big Show vs. Billy Gunn match with Show throwing him around and Gunn….not really doing anything impressive but he’s tall and muscular so he gets to stay around. Having Show defend the title was almost a bad thing as having him never defend the thing was more entertaining than this way too long match.

The Chavos come in to see Heyman and rant about Rey Mysterio getting so much attention. Therefore tonight it’s Rey vs. Sr. and at the pay per view it’s Rey vs. Jr. Sr. isn’t sure but Jr. believes in him.

Here’s Eddie Guerrero for a chat with Michael Cole. The fans are very happy to see Eddie but before he can say anything, here’s Brock Lesnar to cut him off. We get a long staredown with only the EDDIE chants making any noise. Brock congratulates him on getting his title shot at No Way Out and mentions winning the Royal Rumble in a line that is clearly dubbed over.

The thing Eddie needs to remember though is that Brock wasn’t in the ring. Brock lists off all of the names he’s beaten and Eddie doesn’t scare him. We hear about Steve Austin giving Goldberg a ticket to the show, more or less saying they’re fighting at Wrestlemania without being specific. Eddie is impressed because he doesn’t have that kind of a resume. All he has going for him is overcoming one obstacle after another because he doesn’t listen to people like Brock.

For years, Eddie has been told that he’s too small or that he couldn’t overcome his personal demons to get his children back. He’s beating those demons by the grace of God because he hears the voices of people like Lesnar saying he can’t do it. All he sees in Lesnar is a big fat face of hatred and his next obstacle. At No Way Out, Brock is facing the Latino Heat inside Eddie.

Brock laughs it off and says Eddie is a no one, which earns him a right hand to the face. Lesnar gets knocked to the floor and Eddie keeps the title. Great promo here and they’ve built Eddie up to the point where he has to win the title, which would have seemed impossible just a few weeks ago.

Clip of Undertaker freaking Kane out. I see no need to air this on Smackdown. Maybe this is what they used to fill in the Miller time?

Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

Kidman dropkicks him for an early one but gets kicked off the top, wrenching Kidman’s knee in the process. Noble cranks on the knee a bit until Kidman kicks him away and scores with an enziguri for two. A half crab keeps Kidman in trouble but here’s Nidia with Jamie’s wallet to give away money to the fans. The distraction lets Kidman hit the BK Bomb for the pin in a completely unique and never before seen ending.

Post break, Noble demands and is granted a match with Nidia at No Way Out.

And now, a music video for Rey Mysterio’s song from the Originals CD.

Again from Raw, Austin gives Goldberg a ticket to No Way Out. At least this is related to this show.

Torrie Wilson and Sable are announced for the Playboy shoot. They have different thoughts of two women in the same shot. Next week, an interview with the two of them! Like anyone watches this for the interviews.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero Sr.

Non-title. Chavo Jr. offers a distraction so Sr. can knock Rey into the corner to start. Some uppercuts have Rey in trouble Ry is right back with the springboard seated senton but Jr. saves his dad from the 619. The second attempt works just fine though and gives Rey the pin in a hurry.

Post match Jr. beats Rey down.

Dawn Marie rubs Heyman’s head but he’s worried about her having a wardrobe issue. And his hair.

Kurt Angle vs. Hardcore Holly

Angle takes him down into a front facelock with the ease that you would expect and a headlock keeps Holly in trouble. Cole actually tries to compare Angle and Holly’s resumes, which is as laughable as it sounds. Holly’s wristlock and armdrag are countered with a better armdrag as you can tell Angle isn’t going in full speed because it would turn into the squash that it probably should be. Holly elbows him in the face and kicks away in the corner but walks into a backbreaker. Some shoulders to the back in the corner keep Holly in trouble until he avoids a charge to send Angle into the post.

Back from a break with Holly hitting his dropkick for two and we hit the sleeper. That’s switched into a chinlock and then an armbar so Angle fights up in short order. Holly drops him throat first across the top first but Angle pops back up with the rolling German suplexes. The kick between the legs to Angle’s stomach sets up a top rope clothesline for two in what was probably Holly’s best chance. Holly gets the Alabama Slam for two more with Angle grabbing the rope. Angle reverses the full nelson into the Angle Slam and a pair of ankle lock attempts make Holly tap.

Rating: D+. This felt like a pro against an overzealous kid who thought they were ready for the big time. Angle was countering almost everything Holly had for him here and there was never any doubt in my mind that Angle was going to make him tap in the end. There’s no reason to buy Holly suddenly being at a main event level after his only only singles win since he’s been back is that street fight against Big Show last month. Hopefully this ends soon and Holly can go back to lower card matches where he belongs.

Angle’s music doesn’t even have time to play as Heyman comes out to make the #1 contender announcement. Before he can say anything though, here’s Big Show to interrupt. Show talks about how awesome he was in both Royal Rumbles but Angle says he was the last person eliminated last week. Angle is ready to compete against Big Show in any athletic competition to earn the spot. Save for pie eating of course.

After ripping off some Happy Gilmore lines verbatim, Heyman makes a #1 contenders match for No Way Out. Cue Cena to rhyme about both of them so they insist that the match become a three way. Cena threatens more rhymes so Heyman puts him in the match to avoid anything “indecent” being said. Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: D-. This was really, really bad with a bunch of horrible matches and ONLY the Eddie vs. Brock segment being worth anything. No Way Out continues to look like a show that only exists because February needs a pay per view and will be, at best, a two match show. The midcard and beneath is just so bad around here right now and that’s the case with both shows. The main event is good, but with Cena just talking and Holly still getting fifteen minutes on a show, there’s not much even Eddie can do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: January 29, 2004
Location: MCI Center, Washington DC
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Things have changed in a big way around here as Royal Rumble winner Chris Benoit has jumped over to Monday Night Raw to go after HHH and the World Heavyweight Championship. That leaves a pretty big hole to fill at the top of the card and I’m not sure where we’re going from here. Sounds like Wrestlemania season to me. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Paul Heyman is in the ring but here’s Vince McMahon to interrupt. Well that’s a big way to start things up. Heyman rightfully looks terrified as Vince yells about how this should have been a celebration of Chris Benoit winning the Royal Rumble. Benoit isn’t going to be here tonight though because he’s on Raw now with Steve Austin. This is all Heyman’s fault because Benoit used the legal loophole of the Royal Rumble winner not having to face a specific champion at Wrestlemania. That’s a much better worded explanation than the somewhat jumbled version we got on Raw.

Heyman goes into a rant about people bailing on Vince over the years and how Vince would say SCREW THEM because it’s time to give someone else a chance. With Vince asking for the point, Heyman says someone else is getting a chance tonight with a 15 man Royal Rumble for a title shot at No Way Out. The fifteen people will be the ones who were in the Rumble on Sunday but the injured Matt Morgan and the gone Benoit will be replaced by Hardcore Holly and Eddie Guerrero. Vince signs off on it and Heyman looks relieved.

Tag Team Titles: Basham Brothers vs. Billy Kidman/Paul London

Kidman and London are challenging. An early headscissors puts Danny down as Cole points out that Kidman and London haven’t teamed together many times. Hence why they’re #1 contenders of course. Danny low bridges London to the floor and makes the blind switch, setting up a spinning belly to back suplex for two.

The champs start in on London’s back as the announcers talk about the Royal Rumble tonight. London finally rolls Doug away and gets the tag off to Kidman to clean house. An enziguri gets two on Doug and there’s the BK Bomb to make things worse. Another switch lets Danny crotch Kidman on top though and a hanging DDT out of the corner retains the titles.

Rating: D. The time killed this as there’s not much you can do in less than four minutes. At least they’ve gotten away from having Shaniqua be the focus of the champions as that wasn’t doing anyone any favors. It also doesn’t do the company any favors to have two tag divisions on life support but that’s been the case for a long time now.

Angle is in Heyman’s office to draw his number, which he again dedicates to the troops. He gets his number and runs off, seeming to be a bit nervous.

Chavo Guerrero Sr. is worried about Chavo Jr.’s injuries at Eddie’s hands. Jr. says his injuries will heal but the internal scars will never go away. He swears revenge on Eddie so he can prove that he’s the real star.

Eddie is happy with his number. Rey Mysterio comes in, along with boxing champion Jorge Paez. Spanish is spoken and Rey is ready to defend the Cruiserweight Title.

John Cena hits on Dawn Marie and tells her to grab his ball. Heyman comes in to say she’s not grabbing anyone’s balls. Cena calls him Captain Buzzkill and seems to like his number. Rhyno comes in and asks Cena about his knee. That earns him a bad smell joke, with Cena saying Heyman has the soap.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is defending and Noble has the blind Nidia with him in a Rumble rematch. Rey takes him down to the mat for some grappling with Noble getting the better of it. The test of strength is countered with a monkey flip and Noble gets knocked into the ropes. It’s way too early for the 619 though as Noble elbows him in the face but accidentally gets tripped by Nidia again. Thankfully they don’t repeat Sunday’s ending as Noble gets up at two and starts in on Mysterio’s back.

It’s off to a seated abdominal stretch before Noble bends the ribs and back around the post. That always looks so painful. A superplex plants Rey but Jamie can’t follow up. The delay lets Mysterio start the comeback and a Code Red gets two. Now the 619 can connect but Rey gets sent outside after missing the West Coast Pop. Jamie goes up top but Nidia accidentally gets in his way. He throws her inside but she avoids a charge, allowing Rey to hit the springboard seated senton for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. It’s amazing how much better this was when you give them a little more time and a story to the match to let the match go somewhere. Noble and Mysterio are both talented performers and when they’re given a few resources, you can have a good match. The Nidia story needed to go somewhere a few weeks ago but it’s nice to have them finally do something with her.

Post match the sunglasses come off and Nidia can see. Cole: “Nidia just screwed her boyfriend!” That’s not very PG.

New correspondent RUe (the R and U are both capitalized on screen) De Bona talks about the history of WWE and Playboy because we’re still not supposed to know about Sable and Torrie Wilson being in Playboy.

Big Show takes his turn to hit on Dawn Marie (understandable) and draws his number.

Brock Lesnar isn’t happy with Goldberg and wants to teach him a lesson. He’s tired of hearing about Goldberg, who is just a Brock Lesnar wannabe. His method of dealing with Goldberg: a non-title open challenge for tonight.

Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin are drawing numbers when someone runs in to say Eddie has been attacked. Medics are checking on him with Rey at his side when the Chavos come in to ask what happened. Rey chases them off.

Post break, Eddie is taken away in an ambulance.

Brock Lesnar vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title. Brock wastes no time in firing off the shoulders in the corner to put Jordan on the floor. Back in and Jordan hits a quick dropkick from behind to put Lesnar on the floor, which isn’t the best idea in the world. Some rights and lefts just annoy Lesnar so he snaps off a powerslam. It’s off to an arm trap choke that Lesnar spent most of the match on against Holly. Jordan fights out and hits some more dropkicks but gets caught in the Brock Lock for the tap.

Rating: D-. A match that doesn’t even make it four and a half minutes doesn’t need a hold that lasts over a minute. Lesnar slumming it lately isn’t doing anyone much good, mainly the audience as these things have been not only bad, but really dull. Jordan doesn’t belong on the main roster as he’s just not any good and could be any career jobber.

Wrestlers went to Walter Reed Military Hospital.

We look at Undertaker’s gong leading to Kane being eliminated on Sunday and distracting him again on Monday.

Vince isn’t worried because Undertaker is dead and buried. Wrestling heels being cocky and stupid is one of my favorite tropes.

Angle accuses Heyman of sending the Chavos after Eddie but Heyman says Eddie has regained consciousness. Chavo Jr. isn’t taking Eddie’s place as Angle thinks so Angle’s odds go up if Eddie isn’t out there.

Royal Rumble

Kurt Angle is in at #1 and Rhyno is in at #2 with 90 second intervals. Rhyno wastes no time in hitting a Gore but instead of going for an elimination, he stomps away in the corner. An Angle Slam cuts Rhyno off and it’s Charlie Haas in at #3. He punches both guys and hits a dropkick on Angle can’t get rid of Rhyno. Angle slips back in from the apron and it’s Shelton Benjamin in at #4. Benjamin goes after Angle as well with the exploder suplex and Rhyno takes the jump over Haas’ back onto his own back.

Bradshaw is in at #5 for the Clothesline to Rhyno and a big boot to Benjamin. We take an abrupt break and come back with Tajiri in at #7 after Cat, in at #6, has already been eliminated. Of course we go through a full replay of his dancing, because IT’S JUST SO FUNNY. We come back with Billy Gunn coming in at #8 for a Fameasser on Bradshaw. Tajiri adds a Buzzsaw kick as the ring is about as full as it needs to be. Angle gets the ankle lock on Benjamin and it’s Big Show in at #9 to get everyone’s attention.

They all go after him but get shoved away with Tajiri getting chokeslammed out. Bradshaw misses a charge and goes out to thin things out a bit. John Cena, on a bad knee, is in at #10. Some clotheslines put Show on the apron but not out as we take another break. Back with Nunzio having come in at #11 and being eliminated by Cena and A-Train in at #12. Rhyno seems to have been eliminated during the break as well. Eddie, holding his head, is in at #13 as A-Train is eliminated.

Rikishi is in at #14 for a superkick to put Gunn on the apron. Show gets knocked down in the corner and takes a Stinkface with a screaming Shelton getting one as well. There’s one to Gunn as well as Hardcore Holly is in at #15, giving us a final grouping of Angle, Haas, Benjamin, Gunn, Big Show, Cena, Eddie, Rikishi and Holly. Show chokes Cena to the floor and gets rid of him so everyone gangs up on Show, with Cena pulling him from the floor for the elimination. With nothing else going on, here’s a highlight package of some of the eliminations.

Eddie backdrops Haas out and Angle tosses Benjamin. An Angle Slam and frog splash hit Rikishi, which isn’t the best idea with someone of his size in a battle royal. Angle dumps Holly like the non-main eventer that he is to get us down to four. Eddie flips Gunn out and it’s Eddie, Angle and Rikishi to go. Rikishi superkicks Angle and chokeslams Eddie but misses the Rump Shaker on Angle.

That’s enough for Angle and Eddie to get together and eliminate Rikishi so we can have a heck of a final pairing. They slug it out until Angle starts rolling the German suplexes. Eddie hangs on and lands on the apron, even managing to get in an ankle lock on Angle. You don’t do that to Angle though and it’s reversed into the same hold on Eddie. That’s reversed with a roll over the top but Eddie holds on with his feet just inches above the floor.

Back in and Eddie rolls the vertical suplexes and goes up top in a pretty dumb move. Angle runs the ropes and headbutts him, sending both guys to the ropes for a double crotching. With Eddie already staggered, Angle grabs the sleeper, which Tazz says would make this easy like Sunday morning. It switches to a chinlock, which of course energizes Eddie to bring him back to his feet. Angle gets sent to the apron for a gasp but tries a suplex to the floor. Eddie reverses that into one of his own, pulls Angle back a few steps, and throws Angle out for the win and the title shot.

Rating: A-. They did exactly what they needed to do here by setting up a new challenger in a match that didn’t drag. There were some names who didn’t need to be included in something like this and I’m glad they got rid of Holly so quickly. The experiment is over and that’s best for everyone involved. It’s hard to make a nearly forty minute match feel like less than half of that but they pulled it off here. Great match, exactly right result and nothing that felt like a dead spot.

Overall Rating: B. The main event taking up a third of the show was a good idea and while that was great, there’s only so much you can do when your first hour includes Orlando Jordan and a bad Bashams match. It’s still a very good show because that one match was really that great. The top of the card is really starting to come together and if the rest of the show can come close to it, we’re in for a great time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6