Smackdown
Date: November 21, 2002
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in the Big Show era now as he defeated Brock Lesnar to win the Smackdown World Title at Survivor Series. Hopefully this one doesn’t last too long as I’m not sure I can handle sitting through it. Unless Lesnar gets a rematch, it would make sense to have one of those tag guys get the next shot as they’ve been the hottest thing in the company for months. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar’s WWE career leading into his feud with Big Show. Paul Heyman is prominently featured, setting up his heel turn at the pay per view.

Lesnar is waiting for Big Show. What is with wrestlers always arriving late? It seems to happen every week.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Mysterio starts fast with the dropkicks and a headscissors for good measure. A trip to the floor seems to clear Jamie’s head as he sends Rey into the buckle and dropkicks him in the back of the mask. Rey keeps up the trend with a dropkick and a flapjack for two. The 619 looks to set up the West Coast Pop but Rey has to go after an interfering Nidia.

Back in and Jamie throws Rey into the air, only to have Mysterio springboard right into the hurricanrana for the pin. I remember taping this show and thinking that was so cool I actually showed it to a friend. Jamie standing there waiting on Mysterio to bounce back and looking up so he can take the hurricanrana doesn’t help but it’s still cool enough.

Lesnar is still angrily waiting and goes into the locker room. For some reason Matt Hardy thinks it’s a good idea to give him some criticism. Maybe if Brock had a few more Mattributes, he wouldn’t have suffered such an unfortunate twist of fate. Matt is then thrown through a wall, leaving a hole so big that Crash Holly can be seen on the other side.

Post break, Stephanie comes to check on Matt. Eddie Guerrero tells her that Brock did it, which surprises Stephanie. So wait: not only is she not watching the show but she sees a grown man thrown through a wall and doesn’t ask WHAT HAPPENED HERE? Basically everyone is scared of Lesnar so Stephanie will take care of him. Eddie asks if Brock will listen to a woman, setting Stephanie up for exactly the response you would expect from her.

Noble doesn’t know what to do but decides to call his crazy cousin Nunzio. Nidia is very worried about this choice.

Stephanie says Lesnar can have a rematch when he’s healed up but he’s suspended if he attacks anyone else. Somehow this takes a minute and a half because of that weird way Stephanie speaks.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Tajiri

Maybe the winner gets Torrie. Kidman is defending and offers an early handshake, earning himself a hard kick to the head. More kicks get more two counts before Tajiri mixes it up with the Tarantula. Kidman seems to hurt his head on a hurricanrana so Tajiri makes it worse with another kick to the head. The announcers find ways to praise Stephanie as Kidman gets in a spinebuster, followed by the shooting star to retain.

Rating: C. My head is hurting from those kicks as Tajiri was blasting Kidman every time. That’s why I like Tajiri so much: he’s not going to shift from that one idea very often but he does that thing very well. He doesn’t try to do anything out of his wheelhouse and it still works. It’s like Rhyno, which is why they’ve both had such long careers.

Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Eddie is ejected before the bell, just in case Chavo thought he had any chance. Benoit starts fast by sending Chavo chest first into the corner but can only hit one German suplex. A gutbuster drops Benoit and his shoulder goes into the post as Chavo takes his pick of the body parts.

Not that it matters as Benoit SNAPS him down into a Crossface attempt but Chavo makes the ropes. Back in and Benoit rolls three straight German suplexes to set up the Swan Dive for two. Benoit is so annoyed that he allows Chavo to fire some shoulders into the ribs. Chavo tries a springboard clothesline but dives straight into the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: C+. This made perfect sense as Chavo tried everything he could but just wasn’t in Benoit’s league. Seeing Benoit grab the suplexes and the Crossface from pretty much wherever he wanted made him look awesome with the hold looking better than it has in a long time. Chavo tried here but was in over his head, which made for a good story.

Stephanie tells Lesnar to stay in the back while Heyman and Show go to the ring. If Lesnar goes to the ring, she’ll suspend him.

Here’s Heyman, coming out to Lesnar’s music and wearing the title, complete with the bounce on the stage. Cole: “I think Heyman is mocking Lesnar.” Heyman talks about having the it factor that separates you from the rest of the locker room, which applies to himself of course. He prepared Lesnar for everything he was going to do and is responsible for all of his successes.

Then the monster stopped listening to Dr. Frankenstein because it takes more than physical attributes to be on top of the mountain. He orchestrated the greatest inside job in sports entertainment history (How can anyone hear that wording and think it sounds good?) and look at the success he’s created.

Here’s Big Show, with Heyman kneeling down to hand him the title. Show thanks Lesnar for the opportunity and heaps praise on Heyman. Edge has a shot later tonight but there’s no way he’s losing the title just yet. Oh and one more thing: Lesnar is officially fired and there’s a no rematch clause in the contract. As they go to leave, here’s Lesnar with a chair to lay Show out. The worst part is Lesnar running right at him and Show turning around to run. So he’s big, stupid, and a coward. Sounds like your typical heel champion.

During the break, Stephanie yells at Lesnar some more because that’s what she gets to do.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

During the entrances, Cole announces next week as “an all new Smackdown with special guest star Scott Steiner.” Just in case you thought it was a rerun with Milton Berle. Chavo is ejected as well so we can have consistent refereeing for once. An early headlock sends Eddie outside as thinks slow down.

Back in and Angle busts out a monkey flip of all things before a suplex puts Eddie outside again. Angle follows this time and gets sent back first into the steps as Eddie cheats to take over. Eddie does the old “grab two chairs so the stupid referee only sees one”, allowing him to smack Angle in the back with the other. A northern lights suplex gets two as the dumb fans chant USA. Thankfully Cole points out that Eddie is from Texas as we hit the camel clutch.

Angle gets a DDT for a breather and here’s Chavo to watch from the stage. We hit the rolling German suplexes until a low blow breaks Angle’s momentum. As I wonder how the referee didn’t see that, Chavo comes down and gets in a few stomps. Cue Benoit to just stare at Chavo, even as he goes down to stomp on Angle some more. They trade submission attempts until Angle throws him with a release German suplex. Chavo gets forearmed off the apron, leaving Angle to run the corner for a super Angle Slam and the pin.

Rating: B. Like these two aren’t going to have a really good match. The Benoit stuff adds a new layer to the story and you can feel the big Angle vs. Benoit feud building very nicely. Eddie and Chavo getting beaten up like this is fine as all they have to do is hold up the belts again and everything will be back to normal. Good match here, filling the quota for the week.

Angle gives Chavo the ankle lock post match as the champs are easily dispatched. Benoit offers Kurt some applause.

We look at Scott Steiner beating up Christopher Nowinski and Matt Hardy. Nowinski is one thing but Hardy’s role in that segment is just dumb.

Edge is ready for Big Show but Funaki thinks Show is like Godzilla. That makes Edge King Kong but he’s willing to fight for the title.

Another Raw moment: This is Your Life Rock. That’s still amazing.

John Cena vs. Rikishi

Actually hang on a second as Dawn Marie and Al Wilson come out to invite us to their wedding. The match is joined in progress with Cena hitting a belly to back suplex, followed by sitting on Rikishi’s chest. That earns him a toss to the floor and a Samoan Drop, followed by a belly to belly for the pin.

Post match Rikishi loads up the Rump Shaker but Bull Buchanan comes in to save Cena. I might be thinking about this too hard but it might have been better to have Cena WIN THE MATCH and then have Buchanan show up.

Show says he can’t wrestle tonight because of Lesnar’s attack. Heyman isn’t about to go anywhere with Lesnar around.

We recap Lesnar and Show’s night.

Heyman is in Stephanie’s office but can’t get Show out of the main event. If Lesnar gets involved, she’ll suspend him. Heyman: “Like you did before?” Lawsuits against Stephanie and company are threatened so she throws him out. In case you haven’t figured it out, this was the 14^th or so segment tonight to show you that Stephanie RUNS SMACKDOWN. Let’s say it together shall we? Stephanie runs Smackdown. Now don’t you forget it or more lectures will ensue.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Edge

Edge is challenging and is thrown into the corner almost immediately. Show launches him with ease and stands on Edge’s head (not to be confused with the Edgeheads) as this is already in slow motion. An Edgecution attempt is countered as easily as you would expect it to be and Show posts edge to keep the pace. We hit the bearhug as Heyman tells Edge he’d be good representation.

A turnbuckle pad was removed somewhere in there and Edge sends him face first into the buckle, followed by a low blow for good measure. Edge gets two off a tornado DDT and three spears finally drop Show. Heyman breaks up the pin though, allowing Show to grab the chokeslam. We’re not done yet though as Heyman wants Show to treat Edge like he’s Lesnar. That means a second chokeslam but here’s Lesnar for an F5 before a third can connect. I guess the match was thrown out.

Rating: D+. Edge’s comeback was good but when you watch him tear the house down with everyone else, it’s really hard to sit through Big Show’s eight mile an hour offense. He’s the current monster champion and hopefully that means his days with the title are numbered. This really wasn’t interesting and I have no interest in watching him doing his “hey, I’m big” promos and bad matches while I know the roster is capable of so much more.

Lesnar chases Heyman through the crowd to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There’s nothing terrible here and they kept the bad stuff short but there’s nothing that really offers a spark to make me want to keep watching. The tag stuff seems to be coming to an end and that leaves Rikishi, Big Show, Al/Dawn and whatever Los Guerreros are doing. Now the latter of that list is fine but the rest….egads the rest. The show was still fun but this didn’t really leave me optimistic.

 

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Smackdown
Date: November 14, 2002
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and that means it’s time for more Big Show. One of the big stories coming out of this week came on Super Tuesday when Stephanie McMahon announced that the Smackdown Tag Team Titles will be decided in a triple threat match, which should be an amazing spectacle. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar with Show dominating for weeks and Paul Heyman being at his wits’ end.

Heyman says Lesnar has a broken rib and is off the show by doctors’ orders. Big Show pops up and says he’ll call Lesnar out anyway. It’s nice to see someone knowing the cliches and ignoring them.

Opening sequence.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Edge

Both guys are on their own and Sunday’s triple threat is officially an elimination match. Edge armdrags him into an armbar before elbowing Chavo in the face. Chavo sidesteps a charge to put Edge on the apron but gets flapjacked for his efforts. A kick to the ropes hits Edge low though and Chavo takes over for real this time. We hit an armbar on the Canadian until Chavo goes up top, only to get dropkicked out of the air. The Edge-O-Matic gets two but Edge spears the buckle, allowing Chavo to get in a spear of his own for two. Not that it matters as the tornado DDT is countered into the Edgecution for the pin.

Rating: B-. I’m not surprised that this was good as Chavo really was a solid hand in the ring. He gets a bad reputation for his horribly dull stuff later in his career but when you just let him work a good match, he’s a rather entertaining watch. Nice match here and a really strong opener.

Rey Mysterio is talking about the match when he runs over to see the arriving Brock, sounding like a ten year old fan. Brock basically tells him to buzz off.

Dawn Marie comes up to see Al Wilson and is ready to invite Torrie to the wedding. Al isn’t sure but she talks him into it. As enjoyable of a visual as it is, I do like the fact that we’re supposed to believe Dawn (and Torrie for that matter) walk around on the streets in the outfits they were on the show. Dawn was just casually strolling around in a top that showed off half her chest and went all the way down to her waist. Totally normal travel gear right?

Heyman wants to know why Lesnar is here and Brock says it’s because that’s what the title is all about. Paul goes on a rant about the injuries Lesnar has suffered and how it’s going to go badly if Lesnar stops doing what the team should do. If Lesnar doesn’t leave now, there’s nothing Heyman can do to protect Brock from Big Show. Paul has an idea though. I’ll give them credit for this: they’re making Big Show sound like a threat. You know, assuming you forget that he’s Big Show.

Matt Hardy/John Cena vs. Rikishi/Tajiri

What a completely different team that first one would be today. Matt was the Fear Factor Champion and loves guacamole. Cole describes Cena as being “lost in the 80s”. Like that’s a bad thing. Tajiri and Matt start things off with a quick hurricanrana sending the Fear Factor Champion down.

It’s off to Rikishi to take care of both Matt and Cena until a Side Effect gives Cena two. Matt hammers away in the corner as the fans want Jeff. Rikishi drives Cena over to the corner for the hot tag to Tajiri and things speed up. Tajiri gets a running start and grabs a running faceplant which sends both guys into the mat (picture fighting over a vertical suplex but both guys jump up and swing around, landing face first). Matt’s hand is on Tajiri’s chest for the pin.

Rating: D+. I have no idea what they were going for with that ending. First of all, a faceplant for the ending? I’m glad Matt and Cena got the win but it felt like a fluke (with the announcers talking about how Matt’s hand just happened to land on Tajiri’s chest) and I really don’t get this one. Oh and make sure Tajiri loses and not Rikishi because he’s the star power.

Hardy makes Cena put him on his shoulders to celebrate.

Angle and Benoit yell over the title loss last week. Benoit brings up winning their last two singles matches. Angle: “YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH YOUNG MAN!” Benoit: “I have more hair than you!” This goes back and forth until Angle mentioned that he’s an Olympic gold medalist.

Scott Steiner video. Can he debut already so I can endlessly mock him?

Heyman asks Big Show to not call Lesnar out tonight but doesn’t get an answer. I’d like an answer as to why Show has his own locker room and there are at least ten large suitcases visible. Does he carry his snacks in there?

Los Guerreros run into Edge and Rey Mysterio. Eddie wants a match with Rey later and promises to win the titles on Sunday. Spanish is spoken and Eddie hides behind Chavo, only to have Edge speak some Spanish and tell them to shut up.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Partners are banned from ringside. Eddie takes him down into a headlock to start but gets armdragged into an armbar. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Rey though and Eddie takes over for real. The arm work continues until Rey monkey flips him into the ropes. It’s already 619 time but Eddie pulls the referee in the way, knocking him nearly unconscious.

Chavo runs out for a Gory Bomb on Rey, allowing Eddie to add a powerbomb. Edge comes out to spear Eddie, drawing out the rest of the referees to drag them off. We take a break and come back with Rey hitting the Bronco Buster but getting tossed off the ropes. Eddie follows him out with a dive but takes too much time going up again, allowing Rey to grab a superplex.

A hard knee to Mysterio’s ribs sets up another armbar until Eddie lets him up for no logical reason. Rey springboards into an armdrag to send Eddie outside, followed by a slingshot hilo. Back in and Rey scores with the 619 but the West Coast Pop is reversed into the Lasso From El Paso (with something edited out). Eddie makes sure to grab the ropes, forcing Rey to tap.

Rating: B. I wouldn’t really consider that to be the biggest surprise. These two are capable of having good matches in their sleep and this was no exception, though Eddie working on the arm for a good chunk of the match didn’t make a lot of sense. Also, it was nice to have them do all the run-ins early on and then have a long stretch of the match follow them up. Good match here, as expected.

Torrie can’t talk to her dad but he follows her anyway. Eventually she says Dawn is just using him. Al just wanted to invite her to the wedding but she won’t go. She calls her dad an old fool.

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Non-title. Jamie goes straight after the arm by wrapping it around the ropes. A keylock doesn’t get Noble very far either so Kidman gets in a dropkick for two. The tiger bomb gives Noble two but Kidman reverses the cover into a rollup for two more. Kidman flips over him out of the corner and gets in the BK Bomb for no cover. That looks to set up the shooting star press but Nidia offers a distraction. Jamie pops back up and tries a superplex, only to have Kidman tie the legs up for a small package and the pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it set up Sunday’s match, thankfully without having Kidman hit his finisher. Instead he won off a quick pin, making it look like he can beat Noble without completely destroying him. As little as I don’t like having the champ lose, it’s about all they could do in the three and a half minutes they had out there.

Dawn consoles Al, who she loves. He puts his head on her shoulder and she gives a bit of an evil smile. This is the THIRD SEGMENT this story has gotten.

Heyman tells Lesnar about going to see Big Show. Lesnar isn’t happy and says he’s going to call Show out this time.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Before the match, Angle laughs off the idea of either other team being a challenge to him. He’s a better athlete than Benoit, is better looking than Edge and has actually grown, unlike Mysterio. Cue Los Guerreros and the champs to watch from ringside. Angle starts fast by snapping off the suplexes but Benoit comes back by just hitting him in the face. A backbreaker gives Benoit two before Angle sends him outside, leading to a whip into the champs.

Back in and Kurt rolls the German suplexes for two but the Angle Slam is countered into the Crossface. That’s reversed into the ankle lock until Benoit rolls out, only to get caught in the Slam. Kurt grabs the Lasso From El Paso, drawing Eddie into the ring. It doesn’t last long as he’s launched out to the floor, triggering a brawl between Los Guerreros and the champs. Everyone comes in and that’s a no contest.

Rating: B-. The time killed it but much like Mysterio vs. Guerrero, these two are almost a guaranteed awesome match. They’re building the heck out of the triple threat tag, which is pretty easily bigger than Lesnar vs. Big Show, at least in the amount of hype it has. Let those six guys tear the house down and the extra build here helped.

Edge and Mysterio clean house and put Kurt in a double ankle lock. Eddie and Chavo make the save so it’s an ankle lock to Eddie and a Crossface to Edge. Benoit and Angle shake hands but Kurt hugs him instead, giving us a hilarious look from Benoit when it goes too long.

Lesnar yells at Heyman for telling him to stay out of the ring.

We run down Sunday’s card.

Here are Lesnar and Heyman with Brock calling out Big Show. Heyman tries to take the mic away and is told to shut up. Show finally comes out and Lesnar spears him into the steps, puncturing Show’s forearm with the blood flowing out like a fountain. Two big chair shots to the head bust open Show’s head and the chair is bent over his back. I remember watching this live and thinking it was the first time I thought Lesnar was awesome. If this was meant to be his full face turn, it worked quite well.

Overall Rating: B+. Survivor Series is certainly going to be interesting at this rate. The Tag Team Title match looks great on paper, Show vs. Lesnar could be good if Brock gets to be the Beast, the Elimination Chamber……well I think we all know where that’s going. This was the big hard sell show and it did make me want to watch the pay per view again, though it certainly seems to be walking a tightrope, which almost never works. Still though, three quite good matches and some other passable stuff sprinkled in (save for the Dawn/Torrie stuff which won’t end) makes this another high quality Smackdown.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Super Tuesday
Date: November 12, 2002
Location: FleetCenter, Boston, Massachusetts/Verizon Wireless Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is a one off special that aired on UPN as a way to help hype up Survivor Series. Each show taped a bonus match so we have something from both sides, though odds are neither of them are going to be anything worth watching. As unimportant as these things are, there’s nothing wrong with some bonus wrestling. Let’s get to it.

The opening sequence is a fairly catchy mix of Beautiful People and Across the Nation.

Stephanie McMahon makes her big Survivor Series announcement: the Tag Team Title match is now a triple threat with Edge/Rey Mysterio defending against Los Guerreros and Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit. She’ll hang onto the titles tonight, which is code for “this was taped before Edge and Mysterio won but airing after.”

Edge vs. Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

Ever the smart one, Eddie hides on the floor while Benoit stomps Edge down in the corner. Edge gets in a belly to back suplex for two on Benoit, drawing Eddie in for the save. All three are in the ring for the first time with Edge beating both of them down until Eddie gets in a shot from behind to take over again.

We take a break and come back with Benoit working over both guys, only to have Edge score with a double missile dropkick. Eddie misses the Frog splash and gets taken down by the half nelson faceplant, only to have Benoit Crossface Edge. That’s not enough for Benoit so he grabs the same thing on Eddie with Edge making the save.

A spear gets two on Benoit but here’s Chavo for a distraction, leading to a ref bump. Cue Rey to take Chavo out as Benoit Crossfaces Eddie for the unseen tap. Angle runs out and throws the referee in, breaking up the hold by mistake. Benoit yells at Angle and gets rolled up as Eddie steals the pin.

Rating: B-. Good but nowhere near as good of a match as you would expect from these guys. They’re all very talented but they’re a step higher up with their partners and there’s nothing wrong with that. Guerrero winning is a good idea as he and Chavo are the only ones who haven’t won the titles yet.

Long video on Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar.

Here’s Big Show for a chat. He talks about hurting people and promises to win the title. Show wasn’t even in the ring for 70 seconds.

Video on the Elimination Chamber, the same one from Raw.

It’s time for a bikini contest between Torrie Wilson and Trish Stratus. Trish is in black, Torrie is in skin colored and Nidia is in the ring to interfere before the crowd has to win (Torrie’s cheer was louder).

Time for the Raw half, starting with the Shawn vs. HHH video from Monday. Just like Monday, the other four people in the Chamber aren’t even mentioned.

Shawn doesn’t know who is winning on Sunday but knows it won’t be HHH.

HHH/Chris Jericho/Christian/3 Minute Warning vs. Booker T./Kane/Rob Van Dam/Bubba Ray Dudley/Jeff Hardy

Thankfully a commercial eats up a lot of the entrances. Jeff and Jamal get things going with Hardy being tossed around like he’s a small guy being tossed into the air by a large Samoan. Christian and Bubba come in with the Canadian taking a hard pounding in the corner. That means it’s back to Jamal vs. Van Dam as they’re certainly not wasting time here.

Rob dropkicks him down but HHH pulls Van Dam into the corner as the heels take over for the first time. Jericho gets in a few stomps but misses a dropkick, allowing the hot tag to Kane so house can be cleaned. Kane destroys everyone, leaving seven or eight people to fight on the floor.

Chris gets the Walls on Van Dam but Booker makes the save with a superkick. That triggers the parade of finishers with Kane chokeslamming HHH but Christian makes a save. Van Dam dives onto a bunch of people, leaving Flair to hit Kane in the back with a chair. The Pedigree puts the monster away because HHH hasn’t gotten rid of him yet.

Rating: D. This was dragged down due to the amount of people involved and there’s not much of a way to fit ten people into less than nine minutes. Oh but rest assured there’s ALWAYS time for HHH to pin someone. We didn’t really have another choice either as Kane isn’t Shawn and therefore there’s no reason to have him win because he doesn’t have a chance on Sunday.

Overall Rating: D+. Pretty big waste of time here with the main event being more insulting than anything else. The opener was fine and the women looked great but anything on here could have been done on TV. It wasn’t so much bad as much as it was completely unnecessary, which is often worse. At least it was short though and you could fast forward through a lot of the recap videos.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: November 7, 2002
Location: Verizon Wireless Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re closing in on Survivor Series and that means Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show for reasons I don’t even want to comprehend. It’s not like we have a small army of amazing technical wrestlers who could have a great match with the former NCAA Champion wrestler running around. No the clear solution here is Big Show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Big Show vs. Lesnar, which still isn’t anything interesting. Brock got beaten up, just as Paul Heyman seemed to think would be the case.

Opening sequence.

Later tonight: Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle in a 2/3 falls match. I think we have a selling point.

Billy Kidman/Torrie Wilson vs. Jamie Noble/Nidia

The guys get things going with Noble taking over on the arm. A pumphandle suplex gets two but Nidia tags herself in, much to Noble’s chagrin. That means Torrie has to come in for a clothesline but she gets slammed for a near fall. Torrie takes her down out of the corner but stops to slap Noble, who responds with a clothesline. That certainly gets him booed but it doesn’t do much damage to Torrie, who gets the tag off to Kidman almost immediately. Everything breaks down with the heels being sent into each other, leaving Kidman to Bodog Noble. The Shooting Star is enough to give Kidman the pin.

Rating: C. I’m assuming this was done to set up Kidman going after the Cruiserweight Title, likely at Survivor Series, assuming anyone remembers that Noble actually has the title in the first place. That thing has been the least important championship in the company for a long time now with even the Raw Tag Team Titles having a higher value. Torrie and Nidia were just there, though it’s better than Kidman pinning Noble in a regular singles match.

Big Show is looking for Lesnar and wants a security guard to tell Lesnar that he’s here.

Torrie runs into her dad, who talks about how lonely he’s been. Tonight he’s going to do something for himself and he hopes she understands. Do these two never talk on the phone or outside of the arena?

John Cena raps about Rikishi and doesn’t seem to like him that much. Cue Rikishi for his half of the battle rap, which is rather inferior to Cena’s. “Piece of the Kish” is still a horrible catchphrase.

Stephanie watches the tape of Bischoff kissing her again because they’re STILL trying to make that into something. Eddie and Chavo Guerrero come in to make some jokes and ask for a title match. Stephanie gives Eddie Lesnar instead. She also promises an announcement regarding the Tag Team Titles on the upcoming Super Tuesday special.

Rikishi vs. John Cena

Cena can’t get a go behind to start and a headlock doesn’t get him very far either. Back in and John gets all fired up but runs away when Rikishi bends over in front of him. Instead Cena trips him up and gets two off a missile dropkick. A chinlock doesn’t get Cena very far as Rikishi gives him a Samoan Drop and Stinkface. The Banzai Drop ends Cena in a hurry.

Rating: D-. So Cena gets a new gimmick a week ago which allows him to show off his natural abilities and now he’s jobbing to Rikishi in a match where he’s humiliated. Even Test got to win some matches and his entire gimmick is his manager saying “Testicles” over and over again.

Rikishi dances post match.

Shannon Moore has embraced Mattitude but gets yelled at for putting sugar in his coffee. Moore is dubbed an MF’er (Mattitude Follower) and Matt goes off to see Brock.

Al is with Dawn Marie and promises to ask her the question.

Matt goes to see Lesnar but finds Heyman instead. He offers to soften Big Show up like he did with Undertaker and Heyman gives him a bunch of praise. Heyman goes in to see Brock to tell him what happened but Brock isn’t happy. Paul tells him to chill because it’s all about Survivor Series.

Here’s Al Wilson to call Dawn Marie to the ring for the question. She’s made him feel strong, sexy and virile. He proposes and she accepts as the announcers make jokes about Billy and Chuck. Cole: “Look at Dawn!” Tazz: “Look at Al!” Cole: “Look at Dawn!” Tazz: “Look at Al!” Al threatens to kill herself if she says no and Dawn finally says yes. Cole and Tazz: “NO!”

Big Show vs. Matt Hardy

Matt hates cold weather and scored a 1330 on his SAT’s. Dang I got a better score than Matt. Show clotheslines him down to start and tosses him to various places. A backbreaker sets up a bearhug but Matt bites his face to break it up. Not that it matters as the chokeslam ends Matt in less than two minutes. Ok so they just set up Matt with a lackey and they had NO OTHER OPTION here other than to squash Matt? Nothing at all? There was NO ONE associated with Matt that could have done this?

Show says he’ll win the title and we see Lesnar destroying a TV.

Tag Team Titles: Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Angle and Benoit are defending and this is 2/3 falls. Mysterio sends Angle to the floor to start and grabs a hurricanrana back inside. It’s off to Edge as we hear about his great feud with Angle over the summer. Edge snaps off some armdrags but makes the mistake of going after Angle, earning himself a German suplex.

The champs beat on Edge for a bit until he catches Benoit in an implant DDT. The hot tag allows Rey to Drop the Dime for two and the pop up hurricanrana gets a VERY close two as well with Angle making the save. Not that it matters as a powerbomb/springboard seated senton ends Benoit for the first fall. A quick Angle Slam is countered with an armdrag so Kurt settles for a belly to belly. Benoit adds a gutbuster as Rey is in trouble, which is one of his strong suits.

Rey reverses a super gutbuster to put both guys down, setting up a double hot tag. Edge cleans house (of course) but dares to suplex Angle, who sidesteps a spear to send Edge into a belt shot from Benoit. The ankle lock ties things up and we take a break with Benoit and Angle arguing over credit for the win. I know this story is done to death but when it’s done well like this, it’s rather fun to watch.

Back with Angle in control on Mysterio until a spinwheel kick allows another hot tag to Edge. A belly to belly sends the Canadian flying though and Benoit comes back in. That means a variety of suplexes, including a belly to back superplex which knocks both guys silly. Angle and Mysterio come in again with Rey picking up the pace and sending Angle shoulder first into the post.

The 619 is countered but Rey grabs a sunset flip for the pin and the titles. Now you know it’s not going to end without several more near falls and, of course, Angle had the ropes so there’s no fall. Back from another break with Rey dropkicking the arguing champions, earning his knees a solid beating. Benoit grabs a gutwrench suplex and hands it back off to Angle for more suplexes.

Rey counters a wheelbarrow suplex into a DDT and it’s back to Edge for the house cleaning. An ankle lock cuts that off in a hurry but Edge sends him into the buckle, allowing Rey to hit a 619 around the post. Edge spears Angle and avoids Benoit’s Swan Dive, which hits Angle by mistake. A dropkick puts Chris on the floor and Edge pins Angle for the titles.

Rating: A. This was the rare ultra long TV match and there’s almost no way that these four aren’t going to have an instant classic with this much time. Every combination of these guys are going to be able to have an amazing sequence and that makes for some outstanding TV. I could have gone with this being a one fall match but the 2/3 falls was hardly a bad idea.

We run down the Super Tuesday card. I’ll throw that in as a bonus with the next Raw review.

Big Show has something in mind for Lesnar tonight.

Eddie and Chavo annoy Heyman until Brock comes out and chases them off. Heyman yells at Brock and tells him to stick with the plans that got them here. Paul won’t be there for him tonight to teach Lesnar a lesson for one night.

Scott Steiner video.

Brock Lesnar vs. Eddie Guerrero

Non-title. Chavo’s cheap shot doesn’t get him very far so Brock goes with shoulders to Eddie’s ribs. Brock: “Come on holmes! Come on essa!” Eddie gets run down again and we hit the bearhug. The champ switches it up to an over the shoulder backbreaker but bends both arms down at the same time.

Chavo offers a distraction so Eddie can get in a low blow and a hard series of stomps. The Lasso From El Paso goes on but only seems to annoy the champ. A dropkick only makes it worse and that means it’s time for the belly to belly. Chavo pulls Eddie out of the way of a charge though and Brock goes shoulder first into the post. Not that it matters as Brock gets back up for the F5 and the pin.

Rating: C+. That’s a great use of both Lesnar and someone like Guerrero. Eddie is going to be fine with a loss like this and Lesnar gets something out of a victory here. Losing to the World Champion doesn’t hurt Eddie whatsoever so let them do this in a quick TV match. It needed more time but it was good enough while it lasted.

Post match here’s Show to toss Lesnar off the stage and onto a crash pad to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. Talk about a difference between hours. The first half of this show was filled with young talent getting beaten up by older guys and Al Wilson. The second half was a thirty minute classic and a fine Lesnar vs. Guerrero match. I don’t remember the last time a show turned on the jets like that and it made for some very fun TV. Get rid of the Al stuff and these shows are even better than they are now, which is quite the impressive move.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: October 31, 2002
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s a special show as Smackdown is having a Halloween party. This show is memorable for one specific reason that we’ll get to later but above all else it isn’t likely to include necrophilia or a #1 contender losing to a low level talent. Did I mention I’m still a bit sick of Raw at the moment? Let’s get to it.

We open at the party with Ron Simmons as a pimp (yelling at the French maid waitresses), Eddie coming in as Zorro and Chavo in a sombrero. Stephanie (looking GREAT as a witch and showing off her, shall we say, cauldrons) calls things to order (we need good, organized fun around here) and puts Rey Mysterio in the main event against Brock Lesnar.

Opening sequence.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Feeling out process to start with Edge working on the arm but getting reversed into a headlock. They chop it out until Benoit gets sent chest first into the buckle for two. They’re certainly taking their time here and that should only mean good things. Edge drapes him ribs first across the top but misses a baseball slide, allowing Benoit to start in on the shoulder.

A dropkick sends the shoulder into the steps, which Cole thinks might be a prelude to the Crossface. Benoit sends the arm into the post and gets two off a suplex. They head to the corner with Benoit loading up a belly to belly superplex, only to get countered into what looked like a super X Factor to send us to a break.

Back with Edge having to go to the ropes to escape the Crossface but getting caught in the rolling German suplexes. Edge is ok enough to hot shot him onto the buckle and grab an Edge-o-Matic for two. The spear is countered into the Crossface so Edge grabs the referee for a unique idea. Cue Angle to pull Benoit off though, allowing Edge to baseball slide Benoit into Kurt. Edge dives at Benoit but hits Angle instead, followed by the spear for the pin on Benoit.

Rating: B+. Good stuff here with Angle’s interference making sense and allowing Edge to still get what was close enough to a clean win. Edge is clearly on the fast track to the top of the card and wins like this are going to put him even higher up on the card. I mean, assuming he learns to sell the arm that was worked on when he hits the winning spear that is. That still bugs me.

We go back to the party where John Cena, dressed like Vanilla Ice, debuts his rapping skills, which allegedly saved his job (and so it begins). Elsewhere, Tajiri runs into Torrie Wilson as Xena Warrior Princess (as opposed to Xena, your local Hyundai dealer) but tells her he has a new girlfriend. This causes him to hit on Mae Young (Marilyn Monroe) when Dawn Marie (a cop) and Al Wilson (Fonzie) come in. Nothing of note is said but they did in fact come in.

Post break, Benoit storms into the party and wants Angle. No one has seen him so Benoit leaves, only to have Angle pull off a Scream mask and smirk.

Brock Lesnar, not in costume (thank goodness), runs into a production worker who asks who Lesnar is supposed to be. Brock: “I’m the WWE Champion.” Good answer. Lesnar goes in to see Heyman, who compares the Cell match to Ali vs. Frazier. As you try to get your head around that, Heyman says he doesn’t think Lesnar can beat Big Show. So Lesnar isn’t as good as Booker T., Rob Van Dam, Bubba Ray Dudley or BILLY GUNN, all of whom have beaten Big Show this year. Heyman also implies that Lesnar is too stupid to know he can’t beat Big Show. When they push Show, they REALLY push Show.

Big Show vs. Rikishi

Show is in street clothes, which certainly look less ridiculous than that one piece women’s swimsuit look he had been sporting. Rikishi hammers away to start but gets taken outside where the beating begins. A whip into the corner breaks the turnbuckle pad and a powerslam has Big Show winded. The chokeslam is good for the quick win.

Post match, Show says that was nothing compared to what Lesnar is getting at Survivor Series. He’s waiting for Lesnar and even stays in the ring through a break. Back with Show letting us see the Undertaker attack last week in case we had forgotten how big and awesome he is.

After more bragging (including Show saying Brock can’t beat Paul Wight), Brock FINALLY comes out, despite Heyman’s protests. Lesnar gets right in his face with the announcers talking about how big the size difference is. You mean like the one with Undertaker? Show is a monster and promises to beat Lesnar. This was WAY too long and featured way too much Big Show, who might as well just be a big dragon at this point.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

They’re fighting in a big pool of chocolate and there’s a table of pastries next to them. Cole describes Torrie, as Xena Warrior Princess, as a dominatrix Heidi. Anyway, pastries are used, the chocolate is invaded, the referee is dragged in, Dawn’s clothes are ripped off and she eventually gets out, allowing Torrie to get the pin. I have no idea what else there is to say here.

Tony Chimmel is thrown into the chocolate.

Matt Hardy shows up at the party and of course he has his own portable theme music. He takes Tajiri away from Moolah and Mae Young (“Versions B.C.”) because they have a match.

Nidia and Jamie Noble (dressed as each other) bob for apples when Los Guerreros come in to ask Stephanie for a Tag Team Title shot. Cena raps to her to say Vince is in Stephanie’s office.

Matt Hardy vs. Tajiri

Matt always got more Halloween candy than his brother and he’s seen all of the Friday the 13^th movies. I guess he’s not a Michael Myers fan. The announcers immediately start talking about Vince, who MUST be here to talk about the Scott Steiner signing. They slowly fight over a top wristlock to start with Tajiri bridging out and armdragging Matt down. A baseball slide puts Matt on the floor for a moonsault.

Back in and the Side Effect gets two on Tajiri as everything on the floor is quickly forgotten. The Ricochet gets the same and it’s off to a cravate to keep Tajiri in trouble. Matt spends too much time screaming before trying the middle rope legdrop and Tajiri gets in one heck of a superkick for two. The Tarantula is countered into a wheelbarrow suplex though, followed by the Twist of Fate to give Matt the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine enough but really nothing all that special. Matt is doing as well as he can but with this as his biggest win under the new gimmick, there’s only so much he’s going to be able to do. I mean, he’s a week removed from losing clean to Rikishi. Tajiri is entertaining but just kind of there for the most part. Not much here, but that’s part of the problem with this section of Smackdown.

Stephanie goes into her office and it’s someone in a Vince mask. The person brags about Steiner going to Raw and of course it’s Bischoff…..who kisses Stephanie. She certainly doesn’t seem to mind it because THIS STORY IS THE BIGGEST THING EVER (except for Big Show) and you’ll care!

Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Angle takes him to the mat to start and Eddie dives for the ropes for an early break. Something like a backdrop throw sends Eddie flying and it’s time to go outside for a breather. There’s something very intimidating about Angle crouched down and waiting on you to get back inside.

Back in and Eddie uses the referee as a distraction to hammer away at Kurt, which earns him a hard running clothesline. Eddie grabs a Saito suplex and it’s off to a front facelock. The fans are behind Angle because they don’t appreciated a good Zorro, even if he was wearing lime green tights. A chinlock slows things down for a good while until it’s off to a figure four necklock to keep Angle on the mat.

Angle reverses into an ankle lock but Eddie is right back out of it and hammering away in the corner. For some reason Eddie tries a German suplex and I’m sure you can tell what that means. Since one isn’t enough it’s time to roll some German suplexes on Guerrero. The Angle Slam is reversed into a cradle for two, followed by a tornado DDT for the same.

Eddie can’t keep the El Paso Lasso on for very long as Angle reverses into the ankle lock. That doesn’t work either as Eddie gets in a low blow, followed by the brainbuster. Eddie takes too long going up though, allowing Angle to shove the referee into the corner to crotch him down. Cue Chavo for a failed interference but Benoit comes in with a belt to Angle’s head, allowing the frog splash to give Eddie the pin.

Rating: B. The long chinlocks brought things down a bit but sweet goodness these two are talented guys. It’s no wonder why they would be in a World Title match at Wrestlemania in a year and a half, which is the kind of spot that these two deserve. The interference made sense here too, which doesn’t happen often but if it’s properly done, it can really enhance a match.

Benoit hits Eddie with the belt as well.

Angle storms into the party and accuses the guy in the Scream mask of being Benoit. It turns out that it’s Brother Love, which is amusing enough. Benoit comes in and they trade holds until the Angle Slam puts Benoit through a table but Benoit hits him with a bottle on the way down, leaving both guys out.

Brock Lesnar vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title. Rey starts a chase early on and drops a leg across Brock’s back as he gets inside. A rollup is easily blocked and Rey heads outside again, this time faking Brock out by hiding behind the steps. Rey gets in a dropkick but gets thrown into the post to put Brock in control for the first time. Back in and we hit an over the shoulder backbreaker, followed by a release overhead belly to belly. Lesnar misses a charge into the post and takes a 619 to the ribs…but here’s Big Show to throw Rey into the crowd for the DQ.

Rating: C. The match was getting my attention and then never mind because it’s BIG SHOW TIME! Above all else, this match made me realize one thing: Lesnar rarely fights anything but power guys. The guy was the NCAA Heavyweight Champion and can probably out-wrestle anyone not named Kurt but for some reason all he gets are power guys. He and Mysterio were having an entertaining match because it was something Lesnar doesn’t get to do very often but instead, let’s go with another power opponent.

Lesnar gets beaten up and put through the announcers’ table to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Let the wrestling roll. This show is the opposite of Raw where it’s a bunch of stupid stuff with one good match in the middle to keep things watchable. Instead, Smackdown is a show with a bunch of wrestling (two matches breaking thirteen minutes) and a little nonsense thrown in. The Bischoff vs. Stephanie stuff is stupid but the witch costume made up for a good chunk of it. Couple that with the great three way tag team feud and this show is consistently putting out some of the most entertaining week to week stuff I can remember in a long time.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: October 24, 2002
Location: Pyramid, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

With No Mercy done (and Undertaker probably still bleeding), it’s time to start the road towards Survivor Series in about a month. The real buzz is about the Tag Team Titles though after Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle became the inaugural champions in a masterpiece. Unlike Raw, there are a few things I’m excited to see develop so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Matt Hardy vs. Rikishi

This is fallout from Matt getting a Stinkface last week. Before we get started though, did you know that Mattitude is practiced in over 100 countries or that Matt’s bedtime is 4am? Rikishi wipes himself with Matt’s shirt before taking him down off a clothesline. Matt’s top rope clothesline gets two but the rotund Samoan wins a slugout. A Stinkface doesn’t work but Matt is shoved away from the Twist of Fate, setting up the Rikishi Driver (I’ve missed that one) for the pin. Cole: “Mattitude has been deleted!”

Rating: D+. So Matt gets a new, amazing gimmick (which he probably came up with himself) and gets to lose clean to Rikishi to pay off a moment where he got humiliated. I mean, it’s not as bad as almost anything Raw has done lately but this isn’t the brightest booking in the world.

Rikishi dances post match but Big Show comes in and lays him out. Wasn’t he teasing a face turn on Raw? Show challenges Lesnar for the title.

Here’s Stephanie McMahon to present a trophy to Benoit and Angle. Kurt says he lead his team to victory last night so he’ll accept the trophy and put it on his Wall of Fame at home. Benoit grabs the trophy and says if it wasn’t for Stephanie’s ruling, he would have taken Angle out a long time ago. Angle says it’s his because he got the submission last night. They fight over the trophy and Stephanie gets hit in the face as the thing breaks. That earns both of them a slap to the face before Stephanie makes a match for the broken trophy.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Tajiri

Noble, dressed as Elvis of course, is defending in a rematch from their good effort on Sunday. Tajiri hits the ring after a lame impression and elbows the wig off the champ. Of course Tajiri puts the wig on for a little dance before dropping Noble (still in the Elvis jacket) into the corner. The Tarantula is broken up and Nidia offers a distraction, meaning Tajiri kicks the post by mistake. Back in and Noble kicks the leg out but can’t hit the Tiger Bomb. Nidia gets on the apron but Tajiri kicks the bickering couple together, only to get rolled up (with an assist from Nidia) to retain the title.

Rating: C-. These two work well together but you need more than four minutes to make something like this go. Noble has been champion for about four months now and I really don’t think anyone has noticed. I know the idea was to have Mysterio fix the division but when he’s doing all that other great stuff, it seems like a waste of time.

Tazz has the wig and we hear about next week’s Halloween party.

Dawn Marie, with the lowest cut dress legal by law, finds Torrie and apologizes for her behavior in recent weeks. She really cares for Al but she’ll break it off for the sake of Torrie and her family. Torrie says great and walks away, not really convinced.

Eddie and Chavo have a standoff with Angle and tell him that Benoit had some plans for him after the tournament was over. Naturally Angle believes him and tensions continue to heighten.

Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero

The winners get a title shot at some point in the future. Edge and Chavo start things off with Edge’s armbar not getting him anywhere. Instead a shoulder puts Chavo down but he gets his knees up to block Rey’s springboard moonsault. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Rey sending the Guerreros outside but face miscommunication lets Eddie take over.

Eddie elbows Rey in the mask and it’s time to work on the ribs and back, which were banged up on Sunday. I love when they remember stuff from just a few days ago. A pumphandle backbreaker gives Eddie two and Chavo’s tilt-a-whirl version gets the same. Rey dropkicks Chavo into his cousin though and it’s off to Edge as things speed up again. An Edge-O-Matic gets two on Eddie but he’s still able to save Chavo from the 619.

Instead it’s the spear for two on Chavo, followed by the 619. A powerbomb/springboard seated senton crushes Chavo but Eddie makes the save with a slingshot hilo. The referee goes after Eddie, allowing Rey to sneak in a springboard legdrop to give Edge the pin. Eddie not realizing what was going on behind him gives us a great visual.

Rating: B. This didn’t have the time to work as well as their other stuff but these people are incapable of having a bad match at this point. Mysterio and Edge vs. Benoit and Angle in a rematch makes perfect sense after their masterpiece on Sunday. I’m sure the Guerreros will get in on the titles soon enough because they’re too good to leave out.

Undertaker is looking for Lesnar. Why would that feud continue?

Video on the Cell, narrated by Paul Heyman, about how Lesnar owns him now.

Here’s a limping Undertaker to call Lesnar out. He gets Heyman instead because Lesnar has no interest in hearing what Undertaker has to say. Scratch that though as Lesnar comes out and gets right in the ring anyway. So why was Heyman necessary there? Everyone has told Undertaker that his hand injury cost him the match but the reality is that Lesnar had his number on Sunday. Five years ago the hand wouldn’t have mattered but it mattered on Sunday.

Now the purists are going to complain about Lesnar bringing in Undertaker’s personal life (that sounds rather out of character for Undertaker) but he understands head games. He’s fought and beaten the best but Sunday, Lesnar was the better man. Undertaker goes to leave when Brock stops him and takes the mic. As for Sara, Brock needed and edge but he’s supposed to be all about business. I guess that’s an apology and leaning towards a face turn for Lesnar?

Brock and Heyman leave but Heyman stops and nods in respect to Undertaker. We’re not done though as Undertaker says that after twelve years, his body is…..going to be interrupted by Big Show. He can’t believe what he’s hearing because it’s been him beating Undertaker up for the last two years, not Lesnar. Undertaker says he’d rather be a broken down has been than a giant never was.

It’s time to leave again but this time Big Show follows and eventually passes Undertaker. Ever the moron (he is a face you know), Undertaker poses on the edge of the stage. Big Show, gorilla press, crash (onto what looks like a big pad that we never get a good look at). This took WAY too long to set up Big Show vs. Undertaker.

Post break some of the locker room has come out to check on Undertaker. Stephanie has now decided that she’s a medical expert and is bossing the EMT’s around. Undertaker is slowly put on a stretcher as Stephanie threatens the medical people if they don’t get him out of here faster. Eventually he gets off the stretcher and stumbles around with Arn Anderson shouting “LET US HELP YOU TAKE!” Agents eventually help walk him to the back.

And now, Dawn Marie! She tells Al that they should say goodbye now before turning around. See, she’s only been with a few men and he was the most passionate. Kissing ensues.

John Cena vs. Billy Kidman

Rematch from last week when Cena cheated to win. A dropkick puts Cena on the floor to start but a drive into the barricade has Kidman in trouble. Back in and a spinebuster gives Cena two but Kidman hits some more dropkicks. A middle rope back elbow to the jaw drops Cena and a hurricanrana (with a handful of rope) puts John away. So to recap we have two cheaters with .500 record in recent weeks. The WWE formula in a nutshell.

Cena lays Kidman out post match and shows some fire. I mean it’s some slightly extinguished fire because he just lost but that’s common around here.

Lesnar gets interviewed and wants to know where Funaki is. Anyway if Big Show wants a fight, he’s not hard to find.

Eddie apologizes to Benoit for what’s happened between them and offers to show some respect. Benoit smells an ulterior motive.

Big Show goes into Lesnar’s locker room. Heyman tries to talk things down but Brock says Show can have a title shot.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

For a broken trophy. Angle takes over on the mat to start and Benoit looks annoyed at not being able to sit out on him. Kurt does it again until Benoit elbows him in the face for the break. A hard clothesline cuts Benoit off and a belly to back gets two. They’re not really following up on stuff here as it’s one move and then a breather before they do anything else.

Benoit speeds things up a bit with a clothesline to the back of the head, followed by some rolling German suplexes. It’s hard not to cringe watching their heads slam off the mat like that. Angle reverses the third suplex into two of his own but the Angle Slam is reversed into a release German suplex. One heck of a Swan Dive gets two so we hit the Crossface.

Angle rolls him over and reverses into the ankle lock but Benoit small packages him for two. The Angle Slam connects for the same and it’s back to the ankle. That’s reversed back into the Crossface but Angle reverses that as well. Benoit goes up and gets belly to bellied right back down….but here are the Guerreros for a distraction so Chavo can hit Angle with a belt, giving Benoit an easy pin. Benoit might not have seen what happened.

Rating: B. The match was good but they didn’t have nearly enough time to do what they’re capable of pulling off. These two have some of the best chemistry in wrestling and even if we’ve seen it multiple times, it’s cool to see them bust out all those ridiculous counters. The ending is annoying but if it gives us more Eddie greatness, I think I can live with it.

Angle pops up and hits a quick Angle Slam on Benoit, followed by breaking the trophy. I’m glad some things never change.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was good here but this one depends on your taste in stories. Lesnar vs. Big Show is just depressing, Dawn Marie and the Wilsons works for an obvious reason and the tag stuff is outstanding. If you can stand some of the slow paced stories and at times dumb ideas (What is Dawn doing this for?), you can get to the excellent wrestling. Unfortunately, Big Show coming in at such a high place isn’t going to help anything as I’d be more than fine with Lesnar vs. most of the Smackdown Six. The good stuff is REALLY good right now though and that’s what matters most. Well that and no Katie Vick.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting choice but when I asked which show you wanted redone, I got a nine way tie at one vote apiece so I picked it myself. If there’s one thing WWE knows how to do, it’s some big old anniversary show. This is a major milestone for Wrestlemania and it should be a fun sit. Let’s get to it.

Runtime for this thing: four hours and thirty one minutes. Somehow, that’s short by today’s standards.

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video looks at the history of the show, which started as a dream twenty years ago. Most of the people on the show talk about how important this show is and how important it is to be in the Garden. This is the kind of video that makes it feel special, which can be so easy to get wrong at a show like this one. In a VERY cool ending, the video ends with a shot of Vince and zooms out to show Shane and his daughter as the voiceover talks about it all beginning again. That’s just awesome.

It’s still so weird to see King in a suit.

Since it’s MSG, there’s a video screen opposite the hard camera. It’s not the entrance but at least it looks cool.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Show is defending for the third or so time since winning the title FIVE MONTHS AGO. Cena gets the fans fired up and we get a LOUD Cena chant. How weird is it to not have “SUCKS” after that? We get some genital jokes, fat jokes and Cena gets a BIG SHOW SUCKS chant started before it’s finally ready to go. Of course it’s the trash talk to start until Show sends him to the ribs and gets in a knee lift.

Cole starts talking about Show’s history in Madison Square Garden and says “he retired Hulk Hogan here.” I have less than no idea what he’s talking about there so I’m going to assume it’s just an error. Show gets two off a powerslam and cuts off a Cena comeback with a clothesline. A good looking suplex gets two and a headbutt allows Cole to get in his “it’s like getting hit with a typewriter” line.

The same headbutt he gave to Hogan in the Garden right? Another comeback is stopped cold with a superkick and the Hog Roll (imagine a Fameasser if Cena is face up) gets two. The fans get behind Cena again but it’s off to a cobra clutch so Cole can get in a Sgt. Slaughter reference.

Cena FINALLY gets in some offense with right hands and we get the really weird description of Cena as a young kid. The FU gets two and Cena gives a meme worthy reaction. Cena puts his chain around his head but gets caught by the referee. John’s response? YOU CAN’T SEE ME. The referee takes them away so Cena hits him with the knuckles, followed by another FU for the pin and the title at 9:13.

Rating: D. This is a case where the fans wanted to see one thing and that’s all that mattered to them. The match was horrible of course because Big Show was one of the most worthless periods here but they got the ending right and the fans LOVED Cena here. I also like the FU better than the AA as it looks more impactful, but I can get why he switched it up. Show needs to move on to anything else.

Cena gets a big celebration for his first title.

Coach runs into the bizarre duo of Dr. Tom Prichard and Johnny Stamboli. After that completely bizarre cameo, he goes to see Raw GM Eric Bischoff who sends him to find the Undertaker. Coach asks why he’s supposed to go find a Smackdown wrestler but Eric sends him away anyway.

Evolution is in a stairwell (where Randy Orton attacked Mick Foley in June to really start their feud) and says it all begins again here. Orton laughs at Foley for walking away in December and now he’s run off to Hollywood to get his buddy the Rock to help him out. (that night when Rock was already there was the moment that made this story for me).

Anyway, Evolution beat Rock down too and they’re doing it again here. It’s Evolution’s time and tonight it all ends where it began last June. REALLY good stuff here as Orton continues to be way more effective as the young, brash hotshot than he would become as the Viper. I know I’m mostly alone in that stance but I was a big Orton fan at this point.

Raw Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Booker T./Rob Van Dam

Booker and Van Dam are defending and this is one fall to a finish. And yes, they really thought calling someone Garrison Cade (just a generic guy who got better later on) was going to get him over. Jindrak is an athletic freak who became a bigger deal in Mexico and La Resistance are Rob Conway and Rene Dupree. Unfortunately this match means we have to hear the AWFUL Booker T./Rob Van Dam remixed theme. Seriously.

Dupree takes Van Dam into the corner to start and gets monkey flipped for his efforts. Van Dam catapults him into a superkick from Booker as they’re trying to get as many people in as fast as they can. Bubba comes in for the first time and it’s a much, much lower level reaction than you would expect for a New Yorker coming in. You know, assuming there isn’t a Harlem Heat fan in the house.

Bubba loads up the Flip Flop and Fly but eats a side kick for his efforts in a smart move. Jindrak tags himself in and it’s time to double team Booker for a bit. It really is just a bit though as Dupree tags himself in as well, meaning La Resistance gets to work Booker over for a change.

It’s off to a double arm crank as the match is far slower than you would expect a match with eight people to be. Booker busts Conway’s spine though and the hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house. Now everything breaks down as it’s supposed to until Booker and D-Von are left along to slug it out. Cade breaks up 3D and Booker adds some kicks, setting up the Five Star to retain the titles at 7:53.

Rating: D. Too many people in a match that should have been on Raw. Other than “because we feel like it” was there a reason for Cade and Jindrak to be on there? WWE has a real issue with adding people to a match when they don’t make things any better, which is what happened in this case. You really could have dropped La Resistance as well and just given us a regular tag but I get that this helps the guys a lot more financially and it’s not like this match meant anything.

Coach goes to investigate some noises in the bowels of the building and finds…..Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan in various stages of undress. The reaction is of course priceless (Heenan: “We were playing cards!”) but Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young pop out and drag Heenan and Okerlund back inside. Heenan: “I DON’T WANT TO GO BACK! I HAVEN’T BEEN WELL!” Coach looks terrified (rightfully so) and that’s it for the “go find the Undertaker” thing.

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho, which I’ve always liked quite a bit. Jericho and Christian had a bet over who could sleep with Trish Stratus and Lita respectfully. Lita was quickly forgotten but it turned out that Jericho started to fall for Trish. However, Christian wasn’t happy with his buddy becoming a new person.

Bischoff was annoyed one night and made Christian vs. Trish with Christian agreeing to lay down for her….if she would lay down for him. Trish said no so he put her in the Walls of Jericho. Chris, who seems to have gotten onto Trish’s good side, is fighting for revenge. It’s a complicated story but they both had logical paths and Jericho’s character grew a lot out of the whole thing.

Chris Jericho vs. Christian

Jericho starts fast and gets rather aggressive on the mat. A belly to back suplex drops Christian as Lawler is cheering for the evil Canadian. Christian gets backdropped to the floor in a big crash and you know the New York crowd is going to be behind Jericho here. Back in and the threat of the Walls send Christian into the ropes.

A nasty looking belly to back throw send Jericho outside and Christian takes over for the first time. It’s off to a neck crank (with their backs to the camera because they don’t know how to work or something) before they ram heads for a double knockdown. Lawler says that this split is a shame because they were both having more success than they had ever achieved before. I’m not even going to bother to make fun of that one.

Tim White tells them that they have “six minutes fellows” so Jericho gets two off a northern lights suplex. The Lionsault hits knees though and Christian gets two off his reverse tornado DDT. Christian starts in on the knee and slaps on a Texas Cloverleaf to mix it up a bit.

Jericho gets out though and hooks the Walls on the floor, which of course doesn’t mean anything or enhance the move at all. Instead it’s a butterfly superplex for a near fall and here comes Trish. Back up and Christian gets two off an implant DDT but stops to go after Trish. Jericho comes over for the save but gets slapped by mistake, allowing Christian to grab a rollup with tights for the pin at 14:43.

Rating: B-. The match wasn’t great but it’s certainly the best thing on the show tonight so far. I’m a big fan of this story and it’s certainly one of my favorites from this era. It told a logical story with different steps and gave both of them something to do for several months. The match itself is good too and gives Christian his biggest singles win ever.

Post match Trish slaps Jericho on purpose so Christian can lay him out. Trish and Christian leave together and kiss on the stage, giving us the eternally awesome evil Trish, who worked in a variety of ways.

Mick Foley is fired up to be here but doesn’t know if he can channel enough emotion and hatred to face Evolution tonight. The Rock cuts him off though (BIG pop for that) and says Foley has come back….home. After hitting on Lillian a big (with good reason), Rock steals the camera and finds Hurricane, Rosey, Jimmy Snuka, Don Muraco and of course, the people, as Rock sends the cameraman into the arena before coming back for the final catchphrase.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

3-2 here with Orton (Intercontinental Champion)/Batista/Ric Flair for the team. The question here is can MSG handle Rock and Flair trying to steal the show so hard in the same match. Foley is looking slim here and the amazing thing for me is that he’s only 39 here and having his first match in four years. He was done as a full time wrestler at 35 and I’m kind of amazed he lasted that long given how insane he was for so many years.

Evolution gets cleaned out to start until Flair and Rock get things going (oh boy). The early backdrop sends Flair to the floor but it’s a simple thumb to the eye to cut Rock off. Foley is right there though and drops the elbow off the apron as the FOLEY chants start up. It’s off to Orton but he immediately bails to avoid Foley. That goes as well as you would expect and something that might have been a low blow puts Randy down.

Rock gets in some shots as we’re still in the first section of the match. Batista low bridges Rock to the outside though and it’s time for the first heat segment. It’s off to Flair for one heck of a chop and some extra strength WOO’s. The pop for the strut is as loud as you would expect, as it is for the clothesline that Rock follows up with. Ric goes up, gets slammed down, and tags off to Batista.

Mick is in as well though and things speed up (not normally something you associate with Foley) until Batista drives him into the corner (which you do associate with Batista). A huge clothesline runs Foley over though and Orton whips him HARD into the steps. Back in and Orton grabs a camel clutch for a bit before the rest of the team gets in their shots. Foley does get a quickly broken up Claw on Batista for a hope spot, which is a great way to keep the crowd into things.

A swinging neckbreaker and a forearm to Flair’s head is enough for the tag, which doesn’t get the pop you would expect. Rock cleans house and the fans are into his offense until Batista gets in the spinebuster. Then, in the spot of the match, Flair loads up the People’s Elbow. Naturally Rock nips up, does the strut, and punches Flair in the jaw before showing him how it’s really done.

The fans buy into the near fall and do it again after a Rock Bottom to Orton. Batista’s big clothesline and the Batista Bomb get two on Rock but Orton gives up the hot tag to Foley and eats a double arm DDT. It’s Mr. Socko time but Foley walks into a quick RKO for the pin at 17:02. Notice that Foley was up a few seconds later and looked stunned, just like Orton. That makes Orton look like he won clean but also that he’s moving up a level because it worked on the biggest name yet.

Rating: B+. I had a great time with this as it was an exceptional performance, albeit not exactly a great match. This was all about everyone looking great with Rock and Flair clearly having the time of their lives out there. Foley vs. Orton was the real story here and things would get even better the next month when they were on their own. This was a big part of making Orton though, which is where Foley shined like few others over the years. Great stuff here and a fine example of what happens when you have some amazing performers wanting to do their best.

Foley gets up and looks dejected but Rock applauds him.

Clips from the Hall of Fame ceremony, which hadn’t been held since 1996. Heenan’s line of “I wish Monsoon was here” gets me every time.

Gene Okerlund presents the Hall of Fame Class of 2004:

Bobby Heenan (I can’t praise him enough)

Tito Santana (one of my all time favorites)

Big John Studd (represented by his son)

Harley Race (that man deserves his own Hall of fame)

Pete Rose (booed but said to be incredibly grateful for the honor)

Don Muraco (underrated)

Greg Valentine (big pop and looks the same as he did in 1983)

Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter)

Billy Graham (probably the most copied wrestler of his era)

Sgt. Slaughter (the definition of a wrestling character)

Jesse Ventura (BIG pop and well deserved)

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Playboy Evening Gown match (and Smackdown vs. Raw) after Sable and Torrie posed together. They want to have the match in lingerie but Jackie says no so this actually has to take place. Jackie is stripped anyway so all four are in their underwear. I think you know how this is going to go and they hit all of the comedy spots that you would expect. That includes high crossbodies, Stacy doing the leg choke in the corner, sunset flips and the referee getting crushed. Oh and genital jokes from Cole and Tazz. Torrie rolls Jackie up for the pin at 2:32. This was exactly what four non-wrestlers in lingerie was going to be.

Video on international fans coming in for Wrestlemania.

Eddie Guerrero goes in to see Chris Benoit and says he’s proud of Benoit no matter what. Benoit doesn’t want to hear it but Eddie keeps going until Chris gets in his face and shouts that he believes in himself. That’s exactly what Eddie wanted to hear. That’s the Benoit he fought in Japan every night and we get that Eddie smile. Tonight, they’re leaving here with both World Titles.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero Jr. is defending and this is basically Tag Team Turmoil but with one person at a time. Guerrero is automatically tenth due to being champion and the rest are all randomly chosen. In an interesting move, all ten come out first with Ultimo Dragon tripping on the way in for a funny moment.

Ultimo Dragon (who slips on the stage and on the ropes, both of which are edited off the Network version) and Shannon Moore get things going with an exchange of near falls. Shannon hits a moonsault press off the top for two but gets caught in the Asai DDT (starts in a snapmare but Dragon backflips into a reverse DDT) for the pin at 1:19. Jamie Noble is in next for a forearm to Dragon’s back and a neckbreaker for no cover. A guillotine choke gets rid of Dragon at 2:15 total. Funaki comes in with a high crossbody but gets small packaged for the elimination at 2:21.

It’s Nunzio (stereotypical Italian) in fifth so Noble sends him outside for a top rope flip dive. That’s actually good for a countout at 4:15 and Kidman is in next. Nunzio isn’t done though and pulls Noble to the floor for a springboard shooting star press in the spot of the night so far. Back in and Nunzio grabs another guillotine choke on Kidman, only to get reversed with a backdrop and an enziguri. Noble crotches him on top and tries a superplex but gets caught in a super BK Bomb (Sky High) to get rid of Noble at 6:06.

Rey Mysterio (as the Flash in a great costume) is in next but walks into a quick dropkick. Mysterio gets in one of his own, only to have Akio (Jimmy Wang Yang as Tajiri’s goon) deck him from behind. The BK Bomb gets two so Kidman takes him to the corner but gets caught in a sunset bomb for the pin at 7:26. It’s Tajiri’s turn now and Rey jumps over his head, only to get caught in the Tarantula. The handspring elbow is blocked with a dropkick and there’s the 619. Akio offers a distraction but takes the Mist by mistake, allowing Rey to grab a rollup for the pin at 8:36.

Akio can’t go because of the Mist so Chavo goes in for the title match against Mysterio. Rey starts springboarding around but Chavo Sr. offers a distraction and gets knocked to the floor for his efforts. The referee can’t block a dive but Chavo Jr. grabs a rollup and his dad’s hands for the pin to retain at 10:30.

Rating: D. WAY too much going on here and I have almost no idea what happened for most of the match. They were flying all over the place and going in and out so fast that it didn’t register at all. My biggest problem with this kind of match is always the same: if someone can get a pin like this in a minute and a half, why does that never happen on a weekly basis?

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. They got into it at the Royal Rumble with Lesnar interfering and throwing Goldberg out. Goldberg then cost Lesnar the Smackdown World Title at No Way Out and a match was made. Steve Austin was added as guest referee to make sure this wasn’t a complete disaster and had a mini-feud with Lesnar as well.

However, there was one more detail: prior to the show, it leaked out that both guys were leaving after this show, meaning there was almost no point to the whole thing. As you might have guessed, the New York crowd has figured out what’s going on and I have a feeling they might have something to say about it.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

No contact for the first twenty five seconds so we hit the YOU SOLD OUT chants. Austin tells them to get it on as we hit a minute with no contact. Now it’s the Goodbye Song as JR talks about Lesnar going to the NFL because you just can’t ignore the chants any longer. Two minutes in and nothing but circling and trash talk so far. Austin has a knowing look on his face as the fans chant BS, which JR says is an Austin chant (they do sound a lot alike).

They FINALLY lock up at 2:46 as we hear about Goldberg being an MMA aficionado. The lockup lasts 45 seconds before they shove each other away and have another staredown. We’re four minutes in and the only contact has been a single lockup. Another lockup goes on and the booing is strong with this one. This one doesn’t last nearly as long but still goes nowhere.

The fans think this match sucks as Lesnar FINALLY grabs a headlock five minutes in. They collide off a shoulder and stare each other down AGAIN, earning a “WE WANT FLAIR” chant. A double shoulder puts both guys down again and the fans are still livid. Goldberg finally grabs him by the throat into a gorilla press into a spinebuster, drawing an actual pop from the crowd.

The spear misses though and Goldberg crashes out to the floor so the fans think he sucks. Back in and Lesnar gets two off a suplex before grabbing a standing choke to keep things slow. Something happens in the crowd and they start chanting for Hogan (probably a look-a-like). Brock gets in another suplex and puts on another choke as the fans have just given up on even trying.

Another double collision puts both guys down again as this is somehow eleven minutes already. Goldberg makes his comeback with clotheslines and a neckbreaker followed by the spear for two. The F5 gets the same and Lesnar stops to jaw with Austin, setting up the spear and Jackhammer to end Brock at 13:43.

Rating: S. For sequel, which this would somehow warrant. This was the epitome of disrespectful to the fans as they didn’t want to do anything for the people here because they knew they were getting paid no matter what. There’s no point in trying to analyze the match because neither was interested in doing anything.

It got watchable near the end but they had already given up and taken the crowd completely out of it by that point. I was embarrassed here and that should never happen. Austin was completely innocent here by the way and was stuck in a hard place. Oh and one more thing: WWE IS GOING TO LET THEM DO IT AGAIN THIRTEEN YEARS LATER! FOR THE TITLE!

Fireworks go off outside.

Vince McMahon himself comes out to say that tonight, it all begins again. We actually get what sounds like a very heartfelt thank you from the boss, who thanks us on behalf of himself, his company and his family. No storyline or sarcasm here and that’s a really cool thing to see.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Rikishi and Scotty are defending and it’s one fall to a finish again. The Bashams were talented guys who looked alike but never had the chance to go anywhere. Bradshaw (ready to break into his singles run) and Shelton get things going before the Bashams pull Benjamin into the corner. That’s fine with Shelton though as he takes over on Doug and slams him onto Charlie’s knee. It’s off to Scotty for a suplex on Haas but let’s stop to dance for a bit.

Haas and Benjamin get in some double teaming to work on Scotty’s back before it’s off to the Bashams for the same. Scotty finally flips out of a suplex and brings in Rikishi as the crowd just does not care. Shelton makes the mistake of trying a German suplex on Rikshi, who responds by superkicking Haas into the corner for the Stinkface. Bradshaw gets to clean house but Rikishi grabs him in a Samoan drop. A sitdown splash ends Danny to retain the titles at 6:02.

Rating: D-. No one gets to shine, the teams are almost all nothing and the crowd just did not react. It’s a horrible idea for a match but again, I get why they do it this way. The APA would split almost immediately after this and the Bashams would join JBL’s Cabinet later in the year. Nothing match though as this show is just going on way too long.

The champs dance post match.

Edge is coming back after over a year on the shelf.

Jesse Ventura comes out to interview…..dang it he’s interviewing Donald Trump. Short version: Trump and Vince are friends and Trump would support Jesse going after the Presidency. Lawler thinks they would make a good ticket. Moving on to ANYTHING else.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and this is title vs. hair with both women looking great here. Molly starts in on the arm but gets rolled up for an early two, freaking her her out at the thought of being bald. A quick trip to the floor seems to get Molly back into the swing of things as she drops some elbows to the back for two. We hit a cravate for a bit and it’s time to discuss underwear because JR and King are on commentary. Victoria fights up and grabs a powerslam but gets caught in a sunset powerbomb out of the corner. For some reason Molly tries Victoria’s Widow’s Peak but gets reversed into a backslide for the pin at 4:55.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad while it lasted and a rare bright spot for a dark time in the women’s division. They did what they could in five minutes and there was definitely a fire here as both of them wanted to show that they wanted to be here. According to Holly, the hair stipulation was the only way they could get on the show and they immediately jumped at the offer. I’ve always admired that and they gave it all they had.

Molly tries to run and even gets Victoria in the barber’s chair, only to take hairspray to the face and get strapped in for the big shave.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero. Eddie won the title at No Way Out but was attacked by Angle, who didn’t think that a former drug addict should have been representing WWE. Guerrero eventually got himself into a match with Paul Heyman where his hands were tied behind his back and I’m sure you know what happened. Angle beat the heck out of him and the match was set up over the culture clash and Angle telling the people that it was for their own good. Either way this should be outstanding and there’s almost no way it could be anything else.

The haircut is STILL going after that package and Molly really is bald.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie is defending and comes out in a Cadillac truck. Feeling out process to start and the first technical battle gives us a standoff and earns both guys a round of applause. They hit the mat again and it’s a LET’S GO ANGLE/ANGLE SUCKS chant. Eddie scores with some shoulders and Angle needs a breather on the floor.

Back in and Angle easily takes him down to the mat and grabs a front facelock to keeps things slow. It’s off to an abdominal stretch as the technical display continues. Angle gets tired of the slow pace though and rolls some German suplexes before trying the big one off the apron. Naturally that doesn’t work as it could cause a bad case of death so Eddie sends him outside, only to miss a top rope dive into the barricade.

That bangs the ribs up even worse and we’ve got a story. Back in and we hit a bodyscissors because Angle is smart enough to know what he’s doing. If that’s not your cup of tea, Angle snaps off two belly to belly suplexes before going to a waistlock (notice that it’s a different move to avoid being repetitive. Eddie goes to the eyes to escape but it’s another belly to belly for two.

Angle puts him on top and tries to run the corner, only to get shoved down in a crash. It’s too early for the Frog Splash though and Eddie hits the ribs again. Some right hands have Eddie rocked but he wants some more. That just earns him more German suplexes but he reverses the second into a rollup for two.

The Angle Slam is countered and Eddie rolls out of the ankle lock for good measure. A dropkick looks to set up the Frog Splash again but this time the running belly to belly superplex connects for a near fall. There go the straps and it’s back to the ankle lock in the middle of the ring. Eddie rolls out again so Angle German suplexes him again to teach him a lesson.

Another Angle Slam attempt is countered into a good looking DDT and NOW the Frog Splash connects for two, stunning the crowd who bought the false finish. Angle goes for the ankle again but Eddie sends him outside and starts untying his own boot. Kurt comes back in and gets the ankle lock again, only to pull Eddie’s boot off. The livid Angle charges right into a small package to retain the title at 21:34.

Rating: A. I loved this match and you could see a great story going all the way throughout the whole thing. Eddie was in over his head against the incredibly talented Angle but he hung in there long enough to frustrate Angle into making a big mistake at the end. This was Eddie at his best as he was just so easy to support with the athleticism to back things up. Angle was getting into his Wrestling Machine mode here and that’s something that almost no one else could ever do. Just a great match here, which is exactly what this show needed.

We recap Kane vs. the Undertaker. Kane had buried his brother alive (again) but Undertaker’s gong sounded at the Royal Rumble and it was clear that he was coming for revenge. This is a way to get rid of Biker Taker and bring back the Deadman, meaning Kane is little more than a sacrificial lamb and everyone knows it.

Undertaker vs. Kane

Kane’s entrance is really cool as the city set entrance appears to be on fire. Then the lights go out and Paul Bear says OH YES. That means druids and the tunnel of fire before Undertaker makes his first appearance since Survivor Series. Undertaker debuts the cowboy hat here and has the weird just slightly longer hair for a look that really doesn’t work. Kane looks terrified and keeps shouting that Undertaker isn’t real.

A bunch of right hands have Kane in trouble and the head outside with Undertaker beating on him even more. Back in and the Last Ride is countered into a backdrop but Kane is WAY too far from the ropes so Undertaker has to awkwardly grab them and fall instead of going over to the floor. Undertaker hammers away on the mat but Kane avoids a charge and gets two off the top rope clothesline. Old School doesn’t work and Kane plants him with the chokeslam for no cover. He takes too long shouting at Bearer though and there’s the sit-up. Undertaker comes back with the usual and grabs the Tombstone for the pin at 7:46.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here after the entrance but it’s nice to have the old Undertaker back for a change. The Biker Taker stuff had LONG since run its course here so having him basically squash Kane was as good of a way as any to reestablish himself. There was no drama here though but that would have missed the point entirely.

We recap the main event. HHH and Shawn Michaels went to a draw in a last man standing match at the Royal Rumble so HHH retained the Raw World Title. Chris Benoit won the Royal Rumble later in the night and jumped to Raw to challenge HHH. Michaels wasn’t cool with that and attacked Benoit during his contract signing and signed his own name. You know, because the world was waiting for HHH vs. Shawn at Wrestlemania and contracts just happen to work that way.

Michaels was a total jerk here and I don’t think many people saw him as having a point but you know HHH isn’t laying down clean in the middle of the ring for someone Benoit’s size so this is as good as we’re going to get. The match gets the music video treatment as the main event of Wrestlemania should.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

HHH is defending and has the rare white boots. JR says this is Shawn’s sixth Wrestlemania main event. By my count it’s third and he would only wind up with five in his career. Assuming they’re doing that nonsense where there are multiple main events, but even then you have the title match at XI, the actual main events at XII, XIV and this one. Unless they’re counting the ladder match (it’s the most famous match but not the main event) or the Jericho match last year (give me a break), JR is just babbling again.

HHH is knocked to the floor to start, leaving the challengers to chop it out and hit the mat for some technical stuff. The champ comes back in and knees Shawn in the head for two before knocking Benoit back to the floor. That’s fine with Michaels who moonsaults onto both of them and all three are down on the outside. You can tell the fans are smart enough to realize that they’ve got a lot to go through to get to the end here and they’re not going to freak out over something this early. Or they’re spent after a four hour show.

Back in and Benoit breaks up a Pedigree attempt on Shawn (in case you thought it was on the referee) before sending Shawn shoulder first into the post. HHH gets back up and puts Benoit in the Tree of Woe so he can whip Shawn into him. Shawn comes right back with his forearm on HHH but Benoit knocks him to the floor. It’s time to roll some German suplexes on HHH as they’re doing a great job of keeping the pace up so far.

HHH ducks Sweet Chin Music and DDTs Shawn out to the floor. The champ isn’t done yet and superplexes Benoit down for two. Make that eight actually, though you would think the first near fall would teach him his lesson and make the other three unnecessary. Shawn dives back in to break up a quick Crossface attempt and gets LOUDLY booed for trying a German suplex on Benoit.

Chris’ version works a bit better and the Swan Dive gets two. Benoit is sent outside again so it’s Shawn vs. HHH, which was probably lobbied for at some point. Shawn drops the top rope elbow for two and Sweet Chin Music gets the same with Benoit making a save. We get our first blood as Benoit catapults Shawn into the post before slapping on the Crossface. Shawn raises his hand to tap but HHH grabs his hand to keep it from hitting the mat in a smart idea.

They’re fifteen minutes into this and they’ve been knocking it out of the park so far. They just have not stopped and it’s been great stuff. Benoit is sent into the steps as Shawn is barely moving in the ring. The first table isn’t enough though as Benoit fights up and tries a German suplex on the Spanish announcers’ table. Shawn comes back though and a double suplex/slam sends Benoit through the table for the big spot of the match.

That leaves the bloody Shawn to call HHH back inside for the showdown. In a bit of a confusing moment (could be the blood loss), Shawn sends HHH right back to the floor where the champ lands on a cameraman for a cool visual. Now HHH is busted as well but he’s still able to grab a Pedigree and put both guys down. A very delayed cover is broken up by a diving Benoit, who follows it up with a Sharpshooter on the champ.

You don’t leave your head that wide open in a Shawn match though and a superkick takes Benoit’s head off. That’s only good for two though and the crowd is losing it on each of these near falls. You can hear JR’s voice going too and it’s making things even better. The superkick misses and Benoit backdrops Shawn to the floor, followed by countering the Pedigree into the Crossface. HHH rolls away but winds up back in the middle of the ring and the tap makes Benoit champion at 24:47.

Rating: A+. Oh of course it’s perfect. This was one of the best triple threats of all time as they did not stop for twenty five minutes with all three having some very close falls. That superkick to break up the Sharpshooter was incredible and I actually bought it for a split second despite having seen this match so many times. Benoit making HHH tap in the middle of the ring was the only way to end this and it was a great way to end an outstanding match. If you somehow haven’t seen this, go out of your way to see it because it’s still one of the most exciting three ways ever.

In the real moment of the show, Eddie Guerrero comes out to celebrate with Benoit in the big emotional ending as the confetti falls. This is really, really hard to watch now and makes the show that much more emotional.

A four minute highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: B. This is a VERY, VERY hard one to grade as the top stuff is staggeringly amazing but the rest of the show is full of horrible matches with an almost unforgiveable five at a D or worse. What really helps them though is that only one of them is over ten minutes long, meaning there’s way more good than bad and you can throw in the Jericho vs. Christian match as another very solid effort.

This is the kind of show that was DYING for a pre-show to burn off two or three of the matches that no one cared about (Tag Team Title matches and the Cruiserweight Open would be great candidates) and let the rest of the show not feel so long. The show itself needed to be about three to three and a half hours long max instead of the four hours and thirty one minutes it clocks in at instead.

That being said though, good night the top matches on here are amazing. What does it say when the fourth best match on the show is a really strong Jericho vs. Christian match? The two World Title matches are classics and the handicap match is really good stuff as well. Cut this show down by an hour and it’s one of the best of all time. As it is, it’s a long show that drags in spots but blows the doors off at other times.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2017 Redo: D

Booker T./Rob Van Dam vs. La Resistance vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jidrak vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B-

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B+

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2017 Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

Original: F

2013 Redo: E

2017 Redo: S (for SEQUEL)

Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D-

Molly Holly vs. Victoria

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C-

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2017 Redo: A

Kane vs. Undertaker

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Chris Benoit

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

Oh I think we have the definitive rating here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/27/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-20-where-it-all-begins-again-with-two-dead-guys/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/29/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xx-nearly-a-masterpiece/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: October 17, 2002
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for No Mercy and after the disaster that was Raw, this could be two hours of Edge having a meatball sandwich and paying his water bill and it would be more entertaining. The focus tonight will be on the Tag Team Title tournament and hopefully not so much on Undertaker’s fake affair. Let’s get to it.

We look at the accusations against Undertaker last week, resulting in him attacking Lesnar.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. Ron Simmon/D-Von

Simmons takes Edge into the corner to start and hammers away before a flying forearm puts him down. D-Von comes in and takes a springboard seated senton as the good guys are flying so far. The 619 misses though and Simmons plants Rey with the spinebuster to take over. D-Von misses a middle rope elbow though and Rey’s spinwheel kick allows the hot tag to Edge. It’s time for some double teaming as D-Von is placed on top with Edge launching Rey up for a hurricanrana. There’s a spear to Simmons and the Edgecution ends D-Von.

Rating: C-. Not exactly the most shocking ending in the world but it’s just a warmup to set up the finals with all the action coming at the pay per view. I’m really not sure why D-Von and Simmons weren’t Billy and Chuck but I’m sure there’s some reason that someone over thought for some reason.

Eddie and Chavo run out to beat on Edge and Mysterio.

Tonight we’ve got Nidia vs. Jamie Noble with Tajiri as guest referee for no apparent reason. Nidia comes up and flirts with him in Spanish before Jamie comes up. Some sex related talk ensues and Nidia slaps him in the face.

Jamie Noble vs. Nidia

Tajiri is guest referee. Nidia kicks Jamie low and jumps on his back before getting flipped down to the mat. Jamie doesn’t want to hit her so he sidesteps a dropkick and tells Nidia to stop it. Nidia tries a sunset flip but Jamie rolls her up for the pin. I have no idea what the point of this was and I forgot Tajiri was guest referee.

Nidia slaps Tajiri and Jamie beats him up.

Undertaker says he isn’t a liar but he lied about now knowing Tracy. Apparently something did happen with her but it was years before he met his wife. Vengeance is guaranteed. This was nothing.

Eddie and Chavo go into their locker room and find Benoit waiting on them. Benoit isn’t happy with what happened last week and stares them down so Eddie begs for forgiveness and goes into their history, dating all the way back to the Radicalz. Eddie starts crying about how Benoit was there through his personal issues and now Benoit is hurting his feelings!

Benoit still doesn’t move so Eddie goes into a rage with his arms waving and daring Benoit to hit him. Chavo finally drags Eddie away after one of the most manic, entertaining performances I’ve seen in a long time while Chris never says a word. Eddie was on another planet here.

John Cena vs. Billy Kidman

This is over their loss last week in the tournament. Cena seems to blame Kidman for the loss and might be teasing a heel turn. An armdrag and headscissor stagger Cena to start but he launches Kidman out to the floor for a big crash. Back in and some whips into the corner have Kidman in trouble and Cole makes sure to point out the lack of a smile on Cena’s face. A pair of suplexes give Cena back to back near falls and the fans are all over him. Kidman reverses a powerbomb into a sunset flip but Cena grabs a backslide and throws his feet on the ropes for the cheap pin.

Rating: C. Well it’s not like Cena was lighting the world up as a face anymore. Turning him heel is a good enough idea here, especially after how far he’s fallen since his debut. Then again, WWE hasn’t exactly done anything with him so it’s not like it’s his fault. Just build him up one step at a time and things should be fine.

Heyman, Lesnar and Tracy storm into Stephanie’s office to say that Tracy slept with Undertaker ten days ago. Stephanie ejects her so Heyman goes into a rant about how Lesnar and Matt Hardy are the future around here instead of Undertaker. It would behoove Stephanie to force Undertaker to take that cast off for Sunday. Stephanie makes sure to get in a line about Heyman disrespecting her before putting Lesnar in with Chuck Palumbo.

Post break Undertaker yells at Stephanie about Tracy and about possibly having to take the cast off. Stephanie thinks Heyman makes a good point because it would be unfair to have the cast INSIDE THE CELL. Undertaker breaks stuff due to the high levels of stupidity.

Brock Lesnar vs. Chuck Palumbo

Non-title. Chuck goes with some hard right hands to start so Brock just takes his head off with a clothesline. The beating is on and Palumbo starts bleeding from the mouth. A belly to belly suplex sets up the waistlock and Chuck is in trouble. Palumbo is tied up in the Tree of Woe but Brock misses a charge and crashes into the corner. Heyman: “IS THAT LEGAL???” Chuck gets in a superkick of his own and a belly to belly gets two. Brock gets tired of this nonsense and gives Chuck a belly to belly of his own before finishing with the F5.

Rating: D. This was exactly what you would expect here and that’s not a good thing. They did keep it short at least but that’s still not exactly the best idea in the first place. I do however like the idea of Lesnar steamrolling someone before heading into the Cell as you can only have Undertaker chase him off so many times.

Speaking of Undertaker chasing Lesnar off, that’s exactly what we get again after the match, including a cast shot to bust Lesnar open.

Torrie Wilson is stretching when her dad comes up. She wants to talk to him about the stuff with Dawn Marie but he ignores her and gives him flowers. Torrie has to go to the ring so she asks one of the backstage women to keep an eye on the flowers.

Torrie Wilson/Rikishi vs. Dawn Marie/Matt Hardy

It’s a great night as we get the debut of the Matt Hardy search video, complete with your first Mattitude Fact: Matt Has Beaten Undertaker Two Straight Times. When you look at this and the Broken stuff, it really is amazing to think about what kind of complete nonsense Matt has gotten over. He doesn’t get enough credit for that stuff. The ladies start things off but Matt tags himself in. That brings in Rikishi so I’m sure you can get the idea. Dawn slaps Rikishi and gets gorilla pressed.

We get some Melina-level screeching before it’s back to Torrie for a horrible swinging neckbreaker. Dawn gets two off a boot in the corner with Cole saying Torrie managed to pop out. Taz: “What popped out???” Rikishi comes back in but misses the sit down on Dawn’s chest. Matt bails before Rikishi can try it on him so Rikishi settles for a spinebuster. With nothing else working, Dawn comes in and jumps on Rikishi’s back to no avail. A double Stinkface has Matt’s face eyes bugging out but he’s still able to turn over a small package to give Dawn the pin on Torrie.

Rating: D-. Eh I can’t call anything with Torrie and Dawn in there a total failure but this story is killing a lot of the show. Then again, so is Rikishi and Matt Hardy having random matches like this one. That’s the case for so much of this show though: nothing matches that don’t make me want to see the pay per view and just fill in time between Lesnar and Undertaker segments.

Post match Rikishi crushes Matt so Torrie loads up a Stinkface, including hiking up the shorts. Of course Rikishi takes her place when Matt closes his eyes.

Lesnar is getting his cut looked at and sends Paul to get Stephanie to ban the cast. Like I said: the matches are just filling in time between the segments.

After a break, Heyman demands that the cast be taken off before the Cell. Again: IT’S THE CELL! WHY IS A CAST SUCH A BIG DEAL???

We run down the No Mercy card.

Kurt Angle accuses Benoit of wanting his gold medals. Actually hang on. Angle thinks Benoit had something to do with the attack last week. That’s nonsense because Angle would come after Benoit face to face so they better get along out there. Again, Benoit didn’t say a word.

Torrie finds out that there was a card with the flowers and they were for Dawn. Someone backstage tells her that he’s in the locker room with Dawn so Torrie finds them in the shower together. Dawn is not exactly clothed and Al is…..thankfully in his full clothes. I think he might need a few pointers there.

Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero/Eddie Guerrero

Edge and Mysterio run out and jump the Guerreros to make up for the earlier attack. Just to keep things fair, Benoit and Angle take a beating as well. Back from a break with Eddie stomping Angle in the corner until Kurt gets annoyed and throws the family around. It’s off to Benoit for a hard elbow to the jaw and a backbreaker for two. Chavo comes in and eats a suplex from Kurt, followed by a hard Benoit knee to the ribs.

The family finally gets Chris down and stomps away, only to have Benoit snap off the fastest Crossface I can ever remember for a near submission on Eddie. Some double teaming sets up a chinlock on Benoit before Eddie goes with the simple kick to the face. Chavo takes too long going up top though and one heck of a superplex brings him back down. The place is going nuts for Angle and the hot tag oddly quiets them. It’s time for the German suplexes all around but Chavo catches Angle in a brainbuster.

Eddie adds the frog splash for two but Benoit slaps on the Crossface. That’s broken up so Angle tries to Slam Eddie, only to have the referee get bumped. Eddie gets the El Paso Lasso, which Angle quickly reverses into the ankle lock for the unseen tap. Chavo tries to bring in a chair but Benoit takes it away and, after teasing turning on Angle, clocks both Guerreros. That means an Angle Slam to Eddie for the pin to send Angle and Benoit to No Mercy.

Rating: A-. This is a great example of take four guys, tell them to go have fun and turn them loose. They had nonstop action here with all four beating the heck out of each other and some great mat work. There’s almost no way these guys aren’t going to have a blast out there and it gets more entertaining every time. That match on Sunday has serious potential.

Stephanie has come to a decision and we’ll hear it in the ring. This was a totally pointless scene.

Speaking of pointless, here’s Stephanie to announce if Undertaker can use his cast in the Cell where ANYTHING GOES. First though, here are Heyman and Lesnar to pay close attention. Stephanie agrees that it’s anything goes in the Cell but Undertaker has been behaving very badly. Eh it’s cool though and he can wear the cast.

Lesnar gets right in her face (that would earn him a castration today) but here’s Undertaker…..who charges right into a spinebuster. Lesnar stomps on the cast and leaves but Heyman makes sure to get in one last gloat. Cast shots to Heyman and the returning Lesnar allow Undertaker to beat Heyman up even more (drawing some good blood) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. That main event is more than enough to carry the show but sweet goodness I never need to hear Stephanie talk to Heyman and Lesnar again. The fact that the whole show was built around a weapon being used inside the most violent match in the company and wound up going nowhere tells you a lot of this show’s problem. The stuff aside from the tournament and the cast stuff felt worthless and that’s not good when there’s so much awesome in the ring.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: October 10, 2002
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re ten days away from No Mercy and the big question is Undertaker’s hand, which was broken last week. That’s not good when he’s heading into the Cell with Brock Lesnar. The other major story is the Tag Team Title tournament, which is almost destined to offer a string of great matches. Let’s get to it.

We open with one of those stuttering recaps with Stephanie McMahon narrating because we watch these shows to hear from her. Anyway we recap Undertaker vs. Lesnar with the OFFICIALLY broken hand (you want to make sure it’s the official one or you won’t be able to get a warranty) and an announcement of the Cell match.

Undertaker is in the parking lot.

Here’s Matt Hardy with something to say. After the WE WANT JEFF chants die down, Matt brags about beating Undertaker for the second time last week. Matt talks about how last week was a defining moment in Mattitude and we see a clip of last week’s pin. Of course we see Undertaker coming to the ring and the beating is on in a hurry. A few headbutts and cast shots open Matt up but he gets in a low blow. That’s fine with Undertaker who casts Matt in the head and then casts a chair into Matt’s head. Undertaker punches the post and Matt FINALLY escapes. This went on far longer than it should have but you have to fill time somehow.

Rikishi vs. Eddie Guerrero

Fallout from last week where Eddie make Mark Henry tap in a tag match. Rikishi doesn’t waste time and grabs a bearhug but Eddie crawls over into a sunset flip. That goes nowhere so Eddie hits a dropkick, allowing Chavo to get in some choking from the floor. The cheating earns Uncle Eddie a spinebuster but he goes after the knee and scores with the slingshot hilo for no cover.

The frog splash misses though and Rikishi loads up the Stinkface, meaning Chavo has to make another save. That means Rikishi superkicks him into the corner as well and Stinkfaces them both. You would think that the combined forces could have allowed them to escape but alas not so much. The referee, who somehow hasn’t called for a DQ, has to deal with Eddie throwing Chavo a chair. It is but a ruse though as Eddie uses another chair on Rikishi’s leg, setting up the El Paso Lasso for the tap.

Rating: C-. I could go for watching the Guerreros do their cheating every day. They have so much chemistry together and really do feel like they could beat anyone with these shenanigans. It helps that Eddie is doing some of the best work of his career right now and looking more and more awesome every single week. Rikishi was just fine here too as the one that gets to stand still while Eddie does his thing.

Torrie Wilson can’t believe Dawn Marie has challenged her to a lingerie contest. I can’t quite hear what she says next because the pop is far too strong. Torrie’s father shows up and she tries to hide her lingerie choices before getting him away.

Stephanie wants the tag division to be legitimate so she lectures Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle. Wouldn’t it make more sense to bring in regular teams to make the belts a bit more legit? I mean, I’m no one to question Stephanie but reforming the Dudleyz or something like that would have made more sense. Or not letting THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS JUMP TO RAW IN THE FIRST PLACE. Angle mocks Benoit’s missing tooth and they get in an argument over who leaves first.

Rey Mysterio is ready for his tournament match with Edge tonight when Nidia comes in for a Spanish argument. Rey seems to insult her so Nidia storms off to yell at Jamie Noble. Jamie says don’t treat him like that because he has a tournament match of his own tonight. Coffee is tossed away and security breaks it up.

The Guerreros are fired up over their win when Benoit comes out of Stephanie’s office (Does that mean he won or lost the competition with Angle?) and looks rather serious. Eddie: “Did you just get in trouble with the principal man?” Benoit doesn’t want to be suspended for a year but Chavo chimes in with a rumor that Angle is taking a year off to train for the Olympics. Chris is suspicious when Angle comes out. His greetings to Eddie and Chavo respectively: “What up home slice?” and “Word up my Chicano friend.” The Guerreros leave and Angle things they were talking about him. Violence is threatened and Benoit smirks.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Billy Kidman/John Cena vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit

The winners get the Guerreros next week. Kidman hurricanranas Benoit down to start and it’s off to Cena (in purple and orange, Phoenix Suns colors) for a hiptoss on Angle. That’s not cool with Kurt so he snaps off a belly to belly to send Kidman flying out to the floor. Benoit and Angle get annoyed at each other again (of course) so Chris rolls some German suplexes on Kidman.

We hit a kneeling half crab with Benoit cranking on it as only he can. Kidman does the tag that the referee doesn’t see spot so Angle can throw him down again. Angle is finally sent into the post and Benoit takes an enziguri, allowing the real hot tag off to Cena. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Benoit’s powerbomb is countered into an X-Factor to give Kidman a near fall. Angle is back in for an Angle Slam though but Cena saves the ankle lock. He can’t save the Crossface though and Kidman taps.

Rating: C. This got better at the end but was there any real question about who was going to win here? They kind of screwed themselves over with the “one year suspension” thing because no one is going to buy that happening. Angle and Benoit trying to one up each other is very entertaining though and that makes for some fun matches.

Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman arrive with a good looking woman. They want to have the path to the ring cleared because they have an announcement.

And now for the highlight of the show: a Desire video all about Matt Hardy with Matt narrating. I know he gets a lot of flack for all these reinventions but when they hit, they hit huge.

We recap the Undertaker vs. Matt brawl.

Here are Lesnar, Heyman and that woman for what I really hope isn’t the announcement I think it’s going to be. Heyman talks about Undertaker being in the back talking about the Cell, which Lesnar isn’t qualified to talk about. However, Tracy is qualified to talk about what kind of a man Undertaker is. This brings out a ticked off Undertaker so Heyman and Lesnar bail. Tracy stays though and calls him Mark because it’s serious you see.

They’ve been sleeping together for three months and she just found out he’s married. The big SARA tattoo on his throat wasn’t a hint that there was a woman in his life? She didn’t care that he was famous and promised to never take the relationship permanent. The fans chant some VERY unkind things about Tracy until Undertaker denies it. Tracy slaps him in the face and storms off.

Post break, Heyman and Lesnar are leaving when Stephanie pops up to put Lesnar in the tournament with Tajiri. It’s important to have the best teams, which is why the Dudley Boyz are still separated right? Heyman protests so Stephanie guarantees him that Undertaker is banned from ringside. If he interferes, he’s out of the title match.

Billy Gunn vs. Reverend D-Von

The Gunn is back and so is the generic rock music. D-Von, with Ron Simmons in his corner, hammers away to start but gets clotheslined for two. That’s enough for D-Von to take a breather on the floor and Simmons gets in a cheap shot to take over. Back in and we hit the chinlock as the announcers ignore the match to talk about anything else. Can you blame them in this case? A powerslam gets two but Billy grabs the One and Only for no cover. Simmons breaks up the Fameasser so Chuck superkicks him, allowing the Fameasser to connect for the pin a few seconds later.

Rating: D. Boring match here but that’s all you can expect here. I’m sure there’s a good reason to have D-Von lose before he and Simmons have their semifinal match next week. At least Bubba is still getting to team with Spike over on Raw and fill in a spot in a one off gimmick match. That’s also all we’ll see of Gunn until June of next year as he wrecked his shoulder a few days later at a house show.

Undertaker can’t get a word in with Sara and she hangs up on him. This is exactly what I want to see to build up the most violent match in the company.

Chavo is holding his head and screaming for Benoit. Chris comes up and Chavo says Angle jumped Eddie. Benoit goes off to find them and Chavo shoves him into a closet where violence can be heard. A smiling Eddie comes out holding a dented chair and saying Angle did it.

Torrie is ready for her lingerie contest and asks her dad to not watch (well duh). Dawn Marie comes up and gives Al a preview of her outfit, which he seems to approve of.

Lingerie contest, Torrie wins, Cole thinks this is WAY more impressive than it really is, Torrie won’t shake hands after winning.

Post break Al is waiting outside the women’s locker room when Dawn comes up to give him the Divas Undressed magazine with her hotel room key marking her pages.

Heyman is telling Brock what to watch for in the tag match when Lesnar asks for his phone. Brock calls Sara and asks if she’s ok before smiling and hanging up. Heyman looks somewhere between mortified and inspired.

We hear Tracy’s bad acting skills again.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Brock Lesnar/Tajiri vs. Rey Mysterio/Edge

The winners get D-Von and Simmons next week for reasons that make my head hurt. Edge and Lesnar start with the champ shoving him down with ease. The Canadian pops back up and gets in a takedown before mocking Lesnar’s pose. That just ticks Lesnar off and I don’t see this ending well. If nothing else, Brock being on the floor gives Cole a chance to praise Stephanie’s business sense.

Back in and the beating begins but Mysterio tags himself in and springboards into a crossbody on Lesnar. That gives us the staredown with Brock hitting something like a powerslam for two. Tajiri tags himself in for the first kick before grabbing a chinlock. That’s followed by the more successful Tarantula but Rey escapes and grabs a hurricanrana.

The hot tag brings in Edge and Lesnar has no issues watching his partner get beaten up. Edge makes the mistake of knocking Brock off the apron and here comes the champ. Brock actually gets dropped by a flying forearm and Tajiri kicks Lesnar by mistake. A double dropkick puts Lesnar on the floor and the 619 into the spear sends Edge and Rey on.

Rating: D+. This was exactly what you would expect from these four in this situation. I could certainly go for Tajiri vs. Rey and Edge vs. Lesnar doesn’t sound too bad either. I’m not sure I get the logic of giving the face team such an easy path to the finals but the tournament needs to be the best or something.

Lesnar cleans house until Undertaker makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There’s good stuff sprinkled through this show but it’s not enough to overcome the stupid Tracy story, the pretty lame tournament stuff and Billy Gunn vs. D-Von. Smackdown works because it has a bunch of action instead of the weak drama and bad storylines. Give us any two combinations of the really talented guys for twelve minutes or so and everything will be fine.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: October 3, 2002
Location: CajunDome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

I don’t know what lit the fire underneath Smackdown as of late but they’ve been on fire. Last week was one of the best episodes of TV I’ve ever seen and while there’s a good chance things will go downhill tonight, at least things are on a roll coming in. We’ve got about three weeks before No Mercy and it should be time to announce a Smackdown match or two. Let’s get to it.

Stephanie McMahon does the seizure inducing intro to talk about tonight’s card, including Edge vs. Kurt Angle, Matt Hardy vs. Undertaker in a falls count anywhere match and the start of a tournament for the Smackdown Tag Team Titles with the finals at No Mercy. This is your first (of many) ways to put Stephanie on screen and remind us that she’s just so darn cool.

Smackdown Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Rikishi/Mark Henry vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero

The cousins try to get in a sneak attack to start but the big guys throw Chavo onto Eddie. That goes nowhere though as it’s basically a high crossbody, meaning Eddie pops back up and hammers on Rikishi. Cole: “You’ve got to take your hat off to Smackdown GM Stephanie McMahon!”

Eddie comes in and walks into a Samoan drop, followed by a superkick to Chavo. It’s time to start in on Mark’s knee with both Guerreros taking a few shots, only to have Mark keep kicking them away. Rikishi comes in and is immediately forced out by the referee, allowing Chavo to hit Henry in the knee with a chair. Eddie slaps on a leglock for the tap out.

Rating: C-. You can see the greatness in Eddie and Chavo as a team and the monsters were a fine choice for some monsters they needed to cheat. This was a good way to get around one of the nothing teams and advance the talented guys, which is exactly how this should have gone. When you get the right opponents, there’s going to be a classic for the Guerreros somewhere in this tournament.

Torrie Wilson arrives….with her dad Al. Oh geez it’s this mess. They run into Billy and Chuck when Dawn Marie comes in and hits on Al.

Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar are watching a clip of Lesnar attacking Undertaker when Heyman says Stephanie has made a rematch at No Mercy. The thing is she won’t tell him the stipulation and Heyman is worried. Lesnar laughs it off when Matt Hardy comes in to say it won’t be falls count anywhere.

Matt Hardy vs. Undertaker

Falls count anywhere. Undertaker slugs him into the corner to start and takes it outside to throw Matt into various things. A low blow breaks up a chokeslam through the table but Undertaker shoves him into the barricade for a breather. More right hands send Matt through the crowd and Undertaker gets a soda thrown in his face. They head to the back with Matt getting in a cheap shot so Undertaker rams him into a wall. Matt runs off while shouting that they’ll meet again and here’s Lesnar to jump Undertaker. An F5 sends Undertaker onto what looks like popcorn (seriously) to give Matt the easy pin.

Rating: F. Unless I’m missing something, Undertaker took a total of some right hands, a low blow, forearms from Lesnar and an F5 onto a glorified stack of pillows. That’s enough for him to do a job for Matt Hardy but the fight he and Lesnar had wasn’t enough to do a job to Brock on pay per view? Horrible stuff here as Hardy got squashed until the stupid ending.

Post match Lesnar crushes Undertaker’s hand with a propane tank.

Survivor Series ad.

Undertaker’s hand is being iced and he walks away from an interview attempt. The trainer thinks the hand is broken.

Cruiserweight Title: Crash vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie is defending and they start with a fight over a wristlock. The announcers are of course more interested in talking about Undertaker’s hand injury, which isn’t all that surprising given how worthless the title has become in the last few months. Noble takes him into the corner before cranking on a camel clutch. Crash fights up with some basic stuff, including an O’Connor roll to knock Nidia off the apron. The Crash Landing (Styles Clash) is countered into a rollup and Noble grabs the rope to retain.

Rating: C-. Crash made this better with a nice comeback but unfortunately the fans really didn’t care. Like I said though, the division is just nothing at this point and there’s no reason to care about Jamie Noble vs. Crash in a four minute match serving as a backdrop for all the Undertaker vs. Lesnar talk. That switch from Raw really did wonders for Crash’s career though.

Kurt Angle brags about how awesome he is and thinks Chris Benoit will lose to Rey Mysterio tonight. Angle says he’s awesome when Edge comes in and makes bald jokes but at least ties it back to their hair vs. hair match. A sucker punch puts Edge down.

Edge vs. Kurt Angle

We get a replay of the sucker punch from five minutes ago during Kurt’s entrance. Angle takes him down by the arm to start and kicks Edge off the leg without much effort. Back up and Edge goes after an arm as well, this time with a hammerlock, both standing and laying down. See that’s versatility. Angle finally gets tired of the beating and hammers away in the corner, only to have Edge reverse into the same.

They head outside with Angle’s arm going into the post as Edge is in a lot more control than you would expect. Back in and Edge is thrown over the top for a big crash to the floor. A drop onto the barricade makes things even worse and an overhead belly to belly gives Kurt two. We hit a chinlock with a bodyscissors for a bit before Angle knees him in the banged up ribs.

Since Angle is smarter than the average wrestler, he grabs an abdominal stretch to keep Edge in trouble. Edge fights up and hits an overhead belly to belly (good one too) to set up some clotheslines. The half nelson faceplant gets two but the spear hits the referee. The Edgecution should get the finish but there’s no count. Therefore, the Angle Slam connects as well, only to have another referee come in for the two.

The ankle lock sends Edge bailing to the ropes and he goes up top, only to have Angle superplex him down. They interlock their legs into a small package though and it’s a double pin. Naturally the referees disagree (with Mike Chioda nailing Mike Sparks) to send us to a break and a restart. Cole: “Don’t adjust your sets! This match has been restarted!” Does Cole think that adjusting the sharpness is going to rewind a video or something? Angle misses a charge and flies out to the floor, leaving Edge to dive off the top for a big crash.

Back in and a missile dropkick gets two on Kurt as the crowd is losing their minds on these near falls. A very hard German suplex drops Edge and Angle rolls some more for good measure. Cue Chris Benoit for a distraction, allowing Edge to cradle Angle for two. That would have been the finish in today’s WWE. The ankle lock is easily broken up and Angle grabs a chair. Benoit offers a distraction though, causing the chair shot to hit the top rope and bounce back into Kurt’s head. The spear gives Edge the pin.

Rating: A-. This was one less referee fight and false finish away from being a classic. As it is, this was just another great match to be added to the recent string of them on this show. Edge is getting hotter and hotter every single week and thankfully seems to be getting somewhere as a result. I love it when you see someone work hard and get rewarded for it, which is far rarer than it should be.

Benoit thinks it’s hilarious.

Rey Mysterio video.

Post break Angle goes into the locker room to go after Benoit but Stephanie is RIGHT THERE to break it up and put them together as partners in the tournament. If they fight while they’re partners, they’re suspended without pay for a year. Angle sucker punches Benoit (that’s two tonight) but Stephanie SCREECHES at them to shake hands right now. Lesnar gives Heyman another pep talk when Matt Hardy interrupts. Since Undertaker is injured and Matt just beat him, he should probably be #1 contender. Makes sense actually. Matt leaves and Heyman whispers to Lesnar: “I’d be careful. He could kill you.” Laughter ensues.

Raw Roulette is coming. That has way less potential than they’re building it up to have here, though to be fair that’s kind of the point.

Smackdown Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Billy and Chuck vs. Faarooq/Reverend D-Von

Billy asks Faarooq if he’s actually associating with D-Von and gets mic’d in the head for his efforts. Chuck gets jumped from behind but manages a butterfly suplex on D-Von. Faarooq beats him down again though until Chuck gets in a shot and makes the hot tag to Gunn. Everything breaks down and Faarooq gets in a spinebuster on Billy to give D-Von the upset pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here and that’s not really surprising. I’m not sure why you have Billy and Chuck lose here as I can’t imagine anyone is thinking much of D-Von and Faarooq. You’re trying to establish some new titles and it might help to have a multiple time Tag Team Championship combination in the later rounds.

Dawn shows Al her bikini.

It’s time for the bikini contest and let’s see how fast we can get this over with: Dawn looks great but Torrie looks better and has a sucker so she wins. Dawn offers a handshake and throws Torrie outside.

Stephanie gets to tell Heyman and Lesnar that Undertaker’s hand is broken. Undertaker is insisting to fight at No Mercy though and it’s going to be Hell in a Cell. That’s quite a speedy trip to the hospital (when you remember Undertaker refused treatment), x-ray, diagnosis, phone call to Stephanie and decision since Undertaker got hurt all of an hour and fifteen minutes ago. Heyman looks nervous but Brock looks eerily pleased.

Chris Benoit vs. Rey Mysterio

Benoit wastes no time and sends Mysterio into the corner, followed by what looks to be a Razor’s Edge attempt, only to have Rey reverse into a hurricanrana. Chris is sent outside for a big flip dive but comes right back with those hard suplexes that only he can throw. A cross arm choke keeps Rey down until a sunset flip gives him two. Back up and Benoit sends him into the corner over and over before grabbing a surfboard hold.

Rey fights up and slips out of a dragon suplex, only to get caught in a wicked wheelbarrow suplex instead. A dropkick gives Rey a breather and a springboard split legged moonsault gives him a near fall. The 619 is countered into a shoulder breaker though and the Swan Dive gives Benoit two more. Rey is quickly out of the Crossface and a springboard Fameasser sets up the 619. Cue Angle to snap Benoit’s throat across the top so Rey can grab a hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: B. Were you really expecting this to be anything but solid? Smackdown has figured out the secret to an exciting in-ring product: stop trying to do anything too complicated and just let us have a fun match with some minor angle advancement. You can see these two plus Angle and someone else (probably Edge) in the tournament and that’s going to be awesome. Talented wrestlers can do something like this when given the chance and that’s what we got here.

Benoit Crossfaces Angle until security breaks it up to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. What does it say when this is one heck of a downgrade over the previous week? Those two matches more than made up for the horrible Undertaker stuff and the fact that it’s setting up a Cell match does make things a little easier to sit through. I’m having a blast watching these shows every week and it’s amazing that Raw is such a polar opposite from this. How can one company be so totally different? Either way, great stuff here, again.

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